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demetriandelibinaryboyfriends · 3 years

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AIGHT Y’ALL I wasn’t tagged but I’m doing this anyways because f u c k i t

It's the year 2021 and you're obsessed with The Karate Kid. How are you feeling?

Deadasss weird as fuck, my dude. Like...out of all the things I could’ve predicted happening in our lord’s year 2021, it definitely was NOT getting hyperfixated on a hammy gay ship with a punk and a nerd from a goddamn karate soap opera. And yet...here we are??? I will never understand hyperfixations, my guy. But I’ve met a lot of really cool people in this fandom, so I can’t really complain.

Did you grow up with TKK or are you new to the series?

I have never seen a single Karate Kid movie in my entire life. When I was a kid, it looked kinda dumb so I never got into it XD But then I saw my roommate watching Cobra Kai on Youtube Red one day (he has every streaming service known to man) and I was hooked. And...here I am!

We gotta do the basics. Favorite character:

Literally EVERYONE except for Kreese, Yasmine, Kyler, and Tory, sorry stans

Okay but if we gotta pick, Johnny Lawrence is my Problematic Fave. Also I love my boy Daniel, he’s trying his best!!! And Amanda LaRusso, we stan a queen!!!

Among the kids, definitely Miguel, with Demetri as a close second. I also love Sam, Aisha, Moon, and Hawk (pre- and post-Bastardization Arc, anyways XD)!

Favorite ship:

Take a look at my username and take a WILD FUCKING GUESS lmao Yes it’s Eli/Demetri because DUH, every interaction they have is so fucking gay and Eli fucking saved him!!! And came back to him!!! And betrayed the world’s most terrifying dojo with a WAR CRIMINAL SENSEI all for Demetri!!! And how Demetri was willing to forgive him for everything at the drop of a hat because he always had faith there was still good in his best friend??? That’s TRUE LOVE motherfuckers. Please let them kiss in Season 4. I will sell you all of my limbs. Sam/Miguel is a close second because they’re cute as shit and it’s just so lovely to see two people so unapologetically smitten with each other. They are in LOVE, and I will RIOT if they break up again!!! Keep Sam and Miguel together 2k21!!!

Underrated character:

SAMANTHA LARUSSO!!! The amount of hate my girl gets for acting like a normal teenager and fucking up occasionally JUST like the rest of the cast makes me want to start punching things. She cares SO MUCH about her friends!!! And she loves the shit out of Miguel!!! She hasn’t always been the best friend but you know what??? Neither has Hawk, and we still forgave his ass!!! Also LET HER BE FEMININE but also kick utter ass, my god!!! Femininity should not be synonymous with being weak, y’all! ALSO DEMETRI, like yes, he likes to complain and occasionally run his mouth, but guess what else he likes to do??? Never give up on the love of his life his best friend Eli Moskowitz and refuse to lose faith in him no matter how much of a little shit he’s become, and I for one think that’s very badass of him. Also the way he takes care of Eli pre-Cobra Kai in his own snarky bastard way makes me absolutely Weak and needs more appreciation. Like the dude has charisma and COULD have probably made other friends and left Eli behind if he wanted, but did he??? No, he wants the weepy loser with the lip scar in the polo shirts and dorky sweaters and will protect him as much as his wimpy ass is able!!!

Underrated ship (don’t say therapy, lol):

Among the adults, Daniel/Amanda!!! Like maybe I just don’t watch that much tv, but it seems kinda rare to me to see a happily married hetero couple, and it’s just nice to see a married couple who genuinely love each other and where there’s not like...lingering resentment or some shit. I feel like this ship gets overshadowed by Lawrusso a lot (which like--okay, fair!!! Daniel and Johnny do have a ridiculous amount of chemistry, and the gay undertones are undeniable, so I get it), and it makes me kinda sad. I do love Lawrusso, but I don’t like when Amanda has to get her heart broke for it to happen, you feel? Among the kids, honestly YasMoon. Like I really love the idea of Yasmine trying to better herself because of Moon’s influence on her and because Moon like...inspires her to be a better person, I guess? With their pretty strong friendship, it just makes more sense to me for Yasmine to get a redemption arc through Moon than through Demetri. ALSO girls DO often pull the whole “mean girl” shtick to cover up being closeted lesbians, and Moon IS canonically bi, so it could work!!! I just think this one could be a really interesting Friends to Lovers take, and could make a really nice coming-out arc for Yas. And MoonPiper too, honestly!!! Like they only got 5 seconds of screentime so I understand WHY it’s underrated, but I still love what we DID get and loved that there was a canon gay ship (even if only for 1 scene lmao). I’m really excited to potentially see more of them in Season 4!!! Please, I’m begging!!!

Wax On, Wax Off or Sweep the Leg?

Sweep the Leg because it will always be deeply hilarious to me how Demetri took note of the first move Eli ever used on him and spent presumably weeks perfecting it OUT OF SPITE just to get him back with it at the soccer game MONTHS later. Just goes to show how OBSESSED Demetri is with Eli and their little karate rivalry which is just NOT straight, I’m sorry

Which of Daniel’s dumb little outfits is your favorite?

There’s something so funny about this pretentious little fuck walking around in fancy suits once he becomes a #SuccessfulBusinessman, and still occasionally trying to do karate in a full-ass suit (take THAT, Tom Cole’s boba!!!) I’m also a big fan of how he looks in his gi with his little headband. Still killing that look as a 40-50-something!!!

Character from the films you most want to return, who’s not Terry Silver:

Tbh I have still never seen a single Karate Kid movie (they took them off of Netflix, RIP), so...I don’t really care if they bring anyone else back??? I’m invested in the characters we already have in the show, I don’t need some rando from the movies to make a cameo to have a good time XD The only character I really wanted them to bring back was Ali, and they already did, so like...I’m good??? That’s all I really needed, I can die in peace now XD

Scene that lives in your head rent-free:

Basically any fluffy Elimetri scene, but 5 in particular: ~Miguel first meeting Eli and Demetri at the lunch table, and Eli looking at Demetri like he hung every goddamn star in the sky ~Demetri going off at a terrifying, “unhinged” karate sensei on the first day of Cobra Kai because he made fun of Eli’s lip and Demetri is not about that shit ~ELI STEALING DEMETRI’S NACHO AND SMIRKING AT HIM, LIKE EXCUSE ME SIR PLEASE BE A LITTLE LESS HOMOSEXUAL IN FRONT OF YOUR GIRLFRIEND ~Eli yanking Demetri onstage during Valley Fest to hold a board, and Demetri being visibly like...extremely turned on when Eli breaks said board ~ELI SAVING DEMETRI DURING THE CHRISTMAS FIGHT, ELI APOLOGIZING, DEMETRI AND ELI KICKING COBRA ASS TOGETHER AKSBDCUWYVCBU

Will Anthony LaRusso ever be relevant?

I hope not! He’s kind of a funny meme character to pop up now and again but I don’t think he deserves a serious plotline when there are so many more interesting characters to follow.

You live in The Valley and are forced into the karate gang war. Which dojo do you join?

Miyagi-Do because Cobra Kai would eat me alive. Also I’d probably straight up get stuck and die in that cement mixer, if I even made it that far XD Besides, being salty that your friend who you have a crush on likes martial arts better than you and starting martial arts to impress them but also being too lazy to join anything TOO intense is a Big Mood and I am certainly not speaking from personal experience here, no sirree

What’s your training montage song?

"Shut Up and Drive” by Rihanna for a weight-training and bicep-flexing montage, “Whatever It Takes” by Imagine Dragons for a more intense punching-and-kicking-shit montage. I don’t know why this is, I just feel it in my heart.

It’s the crossover event of the century! Which TV show are you combining with Cobra Kai for an hour-long Saturday night special?

*Briefly panics because I don’t actually watch that much TV and most of the stuff I do watch is fantasy/sci fi shit that absolutely would not work for a CK crossover*

Hmmmm okay but ACTUALLY

You know what would be fucking funny as hell would be an It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia crossover. Allow me to elaborate: ~The Gang goes to LA on vacation during the height of the Karate Dojo Wars. They literally can get barely anything done without all these goddamn karate-fighting teenagers getting in the way. ~They are all very annoyed by this. Even the most obscure of tourist attractions is eventually intercepted by karate fights. ~Mac tries to join Cobra Kai because he sees all this karate fighting on, and wants to unquestionably prove both his badassery and masculinity. Both Johnny and Kreese are like “Wtf are you doing here? Aren’t you like 30?” ~Mac gets a planet-sized crush on Johnny after all of 5 minutes and endlessly gushes to the gang about him. The gang mercilessly roast him about this and about how much of a pathetic loser with his life together in no way whatsoever Johnny sounds like. They proceed to have exactly 0 self awareness about this. ~The Waitress is in town visiting family or something, and Charlie is stalking her, as per usual. However, every time he’s about to go up and talk to her, a pack of battling Miyagi-Dos and Cobra Kais throwing punches and kicks everywhere blocks his path. One times, Mac is among one of these packs and Charlie is like “???? He didn’t get kicked out of that teen karate dojo yet???” ~Seeing how much the Kids These Days seem to like fighting, Charlie drops by a local high school to try and sell Fight Milk to the kids doing karate. Only Kyler and Brucks buy into it, and subsequently get the entire West Valley High wrestling team sick. Charlie is inevitably arrested, as Counselor Blatt thinks he’s selling the kids drugs. ~Dennis makes a plan to have sex with every hot chick he can in Los Angeles. He meets Ali on a dating app post-divorce, and inevitably tries to bang her. It doesn’t work. ~Frank crashes the rental car, and inevitably the gang ends up at one of Daniel’s dealerships. Dee quickly takes a liking to Daniel and is like “Watch, assholes--Imma homewreck this guy’s marriage.” She starts frequenting the dealerships to attempt to flirt with Daniel, until one day she walks in on him having sex with Johnny in a back room and she’s like “Is that the guy from Mac’s goddamn dojo?!?!” ~Dennis, of course, tries to sleep with Amanda. Amanda is not having it, and rebukes him in the most snarky, Amanda-esque way possible. Dennis is just like “Oh not AGAIN--the women in this goddamn diva city have too high of standards!” ~Later on, the gang is at the beach and Dennis spots the blonde lady he went out on an ill-fate date with, and decides to give it another shot--that is, until he sees her go up and kiss another woman and he’s like “IS THAT THE LADY FROM THE CAR DEALERSHIP??? STUPID-KARATE-KICK-COMMERCIAL’S WIFE?!? YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME.” ~Dee complains to Dennis about her lack of luck getting laid, and Dennis is just like “Oh come ON, is everyone in Los Angeles gay???” Smash cut to Hawk and Demetri having sex, Moon and Piper making out, Bert and Nate holding hands, Chris and Mitch doing oral, and Amanda, Ali, and Carmen having a threesome. ~Frank tries to scam Kreese into buying cheaply-made karate equipment for his dojo. The gang ends up having to leave LA because Kreese is quite literally plotting all of their murders.

For tagging, uuuuhhhhhh @jackonthelongwalk @soe-leo @max-eagle-fang @cc-tinslebee @backawayfromthegay @asphodel-storm do the thing, if y’all haven’t yet!

#cobra kai #cobra kai season 1 #cobra kai season 2 #cobra kai season 3 #ck #tag game #binary boyfriends #daniel larusso #johnny lawrence #it's always sunny in philadelphia #iasip

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youarejesting · 3 years

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Forever (finale)

Rating: Teen and Up Genre: Mystery, Romance, Drama, Action, Angst, Paranormal. Pairing: Yoongi x Reader Summary: In Bightville there is never any nonsense, the scariest thing one might face is tripping at the roller-disco. But, when you move to the small town, crazy things start to happen. Suddenly people are going missing without any leads. It’s when your neighbor Seokjin goes missing that things get serious because now his friends suspect you!

Announcement: It’s the end and oh my gosh I love it...

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“It’s been decided Jungkook and Jimin will head out quietly and try to find this opening, they will radio back if they find it, and then we will head out in teams of two” Seokjin sighed the man was looking tired the days in the spirit world was causing him to look more tired and withered.

“Wait so some of us have to wait here alone?” Hoseok said concerned he didn’t want to be one of the last, he would definitely be one of the members of the second team.

“We can’t all go at once there would be a higher chance of us being spotted and I don’t think we are all wanting to fight one of those things” Namjoon explained and they nodded.

The two boys got dressed holding their makeshift weapons and headed out walkie talkie in hand, their instructions to only use it when necessary. They moved quickly and quietly down the hall until they turned down the stairs out of sight. The group waited.

Half an hour passed and you sat in the corner laying your head back against the wall, something about this place sucked the warmth from your form. Yoongi slid down the wall pressing his side against yours to keep you warm.

You all almost ran out of hope when Namjoon spoke up, “there isn’t much we can do, until we hear back from them”

“What if we don’t?”

“Then we send another two out to find them or the exit”

“I hate this plan?” Taehyung muttered scuffing his foot through the dirt

“It’s the only plan we have?” Seokjin offered using his calm voice in an authoritative manner.

“Hey we found it, we are here?” a voice called over static “you need to get around the side of the house and into the cellar the doors are open and you take the stairs down and head through the web.

“Alright” Seokjin said “Namjoon and I will head out next, Namjoon will need to be careful so we will give him as much time as he needs to get through that web. I will wait near the entrance for the next teams to come along until we are all out”

The next too left and it was barely fifteen minutes before Taehung and Hoseok left kind of rushed.

That left you and Yoongi with Johnny who looked down at his leg wrapped firmly around a broken table leg.

“It might be easier to go without me” he scoffed

“Not like anyone really missed me anyway, the hardly even know me”

“You’re Johnny, you play the piano we had the same piano teacher, remember and you can draw really well” Yoongi scoffed “your family is worried and the school has been trying to find out where you went”

“We should get ready to go” Yoongi said helping you up off the ground. He handed you his jacket and you smiled at how his scent lingered in the fabric enjoying the calming effect it had on you. He took the two lapels and slowly zipped them together.

You two grinned helping Johnny to his feet and it was a slow process of traveling through the school and the streets towards your house. It was hard but you were keeping out of sight and traveling. They see the other group moving and Seokjin in the distance signalling for them to wait as Hoseok and Taehyung head through.

In their haste Hoseok tripped over your younger snot nosed brothers bike -the very same you stressed he clean up every day- bumping the web the two boys race through the web.

You knew they were coming and in a split second you three ran across the lawn, racing your best through the web with Seokjin helping Johnny through in front of you. You could hear them coming, the hands of the boys in the real world reaching out to pull you through the burrow between the worlds. When you felt something grab the jacket, your name softly spoken you turned to see Yoongi. He gave you a forlorn look and he pressed his lips to yours. He kissed you hard and pushed you into the arms. Running from the webs and the siren on the walkie talkie blaring as he ran further away.

The hands were pulling you through the portal and you were a mess of tears struggling, unable to see, you finally found the perfect guy, he didn’t expect you to fit the norms as he definitely didn’t fit them either.

You were in the basement of your home unable to see as everything was burned with tears, Yoongi’s voice came over the walkie talkie in a pant, he was running still alive, still fighting, “Y/n, did you get through?”

You sobbed scrambling across the floor to get the walkie talkie “I am okay, where are you, you have to come through. You have to get back here and come through -”

“They are filling the web, I don’t know how long we have ?” Jungkook said keeping this end of the web firmly pressed shut clawed arms busting through

“Shut it down” Yoongi said calmly over the radio “I am surrounded”

“No, I will go back in and fight them off” You hissed, the ache in your chest burning and tight making it hard to breathe “You promised”

“I’m sorry” He whispered

“You promised, we were going to see kingkong, you promised” the words were barely legible but he understood.

“I did promise, but maybe some other time love,” He took a shaky breath, “shut it down kook”

They ripped apart the objects around the crawl space in the wall effectively ripping apart the connection between the two worlds.

You were all found in the basement crying, your parents were confused and the police were called, you were all interrogated and you explained everything as it happened sparing no detail on the abnormal. That night you were inconsolable, crying in your bed, the jacket clutched in your hands the words ‘It’s okay not to be okay’, breaking you more.

The police wrote it off as drugs and judging from the injuries and the extensive amounts of mud and dirt on their clothes they assumed the group had ventured into the woods. For some cult business. It took a week before the investigation was called off, they found Yoongi’s boot on the edge of the river and called it an accidental drug related death.

The funeral for Yoongi was small, his parents weren’t upset rather annoyed, you heard them in the next room blaming him. “If he didn’t die, I wouldn’t be here” His father frowned

“I don’t know how he lasted this long,” his older sister hissed

“Can you believe they want me to pay $1,000 for his funeral, he doesn’t even have a body,” His father sighed

“Be thankful he was dumb enough to die in the river, otherwise you would be paying more” His sister called

“Where is that bastards mother?” He sighed “Why am I paying for him, I haven’t even seen him since we split, and yet here I am the one having to pay”

Biting your lip, you were grabbed by Namjoon who lead you out to Yoongi’s car, “we took some stuff from his house, before his family could throw it away and um, if there is anything you like please feel free to take it.”

You found a few shirts and jackets with some slogans that made you feel like he was still supporting you even when he wasn’t here. But it was when you came across a collection of cassettes that you pause in confusion, Jimin laughed. “Yoongi has a tendency to write songs about everyone he meets,”

You watched him fondly touch the cassette with his name on it, you pulled out one with your name on it. The letters written in such unique handwriting that was very yoongi, laid back but simple. Jimin pulled out another titled ‘a night with her and the boys’. “Try this one too, it might be good”

You took his recording system in hopes you could listen to his work in your home and feel that connection with him. Heading straight up to your room ignoring all distractions. Setting up the machine you began by slipping in the cassette and placing on the headphones.

It was beautiful, the sound was beautiful and the song spoke of your beauty, but when the chorus hit, the drums, guitar and synth came in and he spoke about your personality. You were laughing, he summed you up so well, you felt your heart swell in the last line.

What a bitch.

She’s hot and she knows it.

And I can’t stop thinking about her.

It had you in stitches. You switched the song over to ‘a night with her and the boys’ and you couldn’t help but cry, he told a story about noticing you and the feelings you were trying to hide. He sang about you coming clean of your emotions, said he would protect you even though you didn’t need it, that he wanted to hold you because you looked so cold.

The song ended but there was more space left on the tape, you listened for thirty seconds but their didn’t seem to be anything on it. You took the small microphone and spoke into the machine, “I don’t know um how this works, but I love you” Turning it off you went to the shower, when you came back it was running, the tape had reached the end. Rewinding it you played it through, again while finding something to wear to bed.

When the song reached the end, you had finally found a warm set of pajama pants that you matched with one of yoongi’s shirts. You buried your face in the collar breathing in the scent, you went to turn of the machine which was whirring. “I don’t know um how this works, but I love you”.

You were embarrassed quickly rushing to turn it off, “God I am so embarrassing,”

“It’s so nice to hear your voice, I love you too, are you doing alright?”

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Tags: @valmyarmy @knjkitten @jooniesdimples70307 @rosita7703

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franeridart · 7 years

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Can we also talk about how Bakugou went from "weird haired guy" to "Kirishima. Change of plans". Oh man I didn't realize how much I missed the anime *cries*

BOI CAN’T WE I just spent the whole morning crying over seeing the moment Bakugou recognizes Kirishima as an equal animated nbd at all r i p me - I think this might be the first time Bakugou calls anyone by their name, actually, and I just!!! that’s because Bakugou heard Kirishima’s words and recognized him as a good partner and a worthy hero and someone whom he could respect and I’m gonna be grateful for chapter 133 for the insight on this for the rest of my always I !!!!!! have feelings g a h

Anon said:ok ok ok ok but but listen what about BAKGOU AND OCHAKO they are the most popular couple and the most cutest , i think you should try to draw them once i would love love to see this !!! of course just if you want hehe thanx

Ahhh sorry anon but I really don’t ship that - I mean, it’s true that I ship Bakugou with a bunch of people aside from my main two, but if they’re part of Deku’s group you can fairly assume they’re not between my Bakugou ships? And I only romantically ship Uraraka with Deku, Tsuyu and Iida anyway so! You’re probably not gonna see any romantic baku/ocha from me, sorry o

Anon said:Since we know what Bakugou’s parents are like, what do you think Kirishima’s parents are like?

I have a similar ask somewhere asking about Kaminari’s parents as well, so I guess I’ll answer both here?? As a general rule I don’t really like making headcanons over stuff I’m sure the manga will give me in the future, so I can’t say I’ve thought about this too much - there are a few things I work under the assumption of while drawing, like for example I’m taking for granted they both have at least functional families, considering Aizawa personally visited their homes to ask their guardians about allowing them back to school, and if anything had been weird he would have noticed

I like to think Kaminari got his quirk straight from one of his two parents with no mixing happening, and got the Kaminari surname from them as well, but that’s all I ever allowed myself to settle on as far as Kami’s family goes, everything else changes based on what I need for the current scenario I’m thinking about… I do often end back on him being an only child, though - in the same way depending on how angst or lighthearted I want it to be my ideas for Kirishima’s family change a lot, but generally I think I mostly fall back on the idea of him having a big family? In a scenario like that his parents are kind and love him a lot, but having many children and needing to split their attention on all of them might cause them to overlook him a little (it would explain his obsession with being flashy, for me) then again, who knows? I don’t know how canon you can consider the infos SMASH gives, but in one of the strips Kiri mentions working part-time, and the fact that he doesn’t seem to have problems with money kinda makes me believe he might be independent from his family like that (unless he’s a rich kid, also very entertaining as a possiblity)

I’ve seen a lot of headcanons floating around about both of these guys’ families and possibly being related to villains, that would be cool too, though I’m not sure how much I believe it

I’m sorry this ended up being little to no useful at all lol as I said, I just shift between scenarios a lot - imagine settling on one and growing attached and then having to let it go once Hori proves it wrong, that’d be terrible for me

Anon said:Oh my god…we had a black cat called nitro !! He was super affectionate and high strung. Thanks for reminding me of him. great art as always !!!

You’re!!! the second person telling me they have/had a cat called that!!!! °O° is it a popular name for cats? I just called her that for Baku’s quirk tbh hahaha

Anon said:I would L.O.V.E to do a BNHA art collab with you my lord!

BOI THAT’S FLATTERING!!!!!! I’ve never done collabs before though, so I dunno if I’m comfortable with this? I’ll !!! have to think about it!

Anon said:Not only is your art adorable but how much you babble on in the tags is absolutely precious, you’re like a sunshine who always brightens up the day just by being yourself!

Way to make me blush anon oh my g o d!!!!!! I’m??? glad I can make you smile with my incoherent blabbering??? It’s super nice to know because tbh I just have way too much to say about everything hahaha (read: I dunno how to shut up. ever. rip)

Anon said:I just wanted to say your asks posts and doodles and literally just your whole blog in general brightens up my day so much no matter how sucky it’s been. I had a rough day today but the first thing I saw when I got on tumblr was one of your bakugou drawings and it made me smile when nothing else that day did and I just wanted you to know that. Also you seem like one of the most honest and heartwarming people ever. I hope you have a good weekend. ❤️

gODS what’s up with you guys trying so hard to make me a smiling and blushing mess here aaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! thank?? you???? I’m really, really, really happy I could make you smile!!! That’s the reason why I post my stuff to begin with, knowing I could help you even just a little bit means a lot!!!

Anon said:I’m really sorry if I reposted anything!!!!! Its truly out of habit….😌 But really, I’m sorry. (By the way, your art is amazing!!)

Thank you!! And as long as you took down whatever you reposted, your apology is more than accepted! Thank you for being understanding! But that kind of habit is something you should really grow out of, anon - for most artists, if they wanted their art on other websites they would post it themselves, and as long as it’s about sharing it here on tumblr a reblog is more than good enough! It’s nice of you to want to share my things, and I’m happy you like my stuff enough to want more people to see it, but since I don’t have accounts anywhere else on the internet I don’t really want my stuff there either - a link back to the original post would suffice if all you want is share, wouldn’t it?

About this, thank you so much to all the super nice people telling me they’re sorry about my stuff being reposted! There’s a lot of you and posting all the asks here would make this post insanely long, but know that I read all of them and I appreciate every word! To those mentioning they do tell people to take my stuff down when they notice it being reposted, thank you so so so so much, and to those worrying I might stop posting, for now that’s still not going to happen - I might reduce the amount of stuff I post for specific fandoms or ships, but I love it all too much and I love sharing my love for them too much to just stop. And thank you for all the nice words and compliments too, you’re all so kind to me !!!!

Anon said:I don’t know if you’re familiar with Dave and Buster’s (it’s a big arcade/restaurant for mainly adults) but I went the other day and all I could think about was “holy shit, Kuroo, Bokuto, and Terushima would have the time of their lives here” anyway, just thought I’d share that with you since I know you ship them as well cx

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! we don’t have those in Italy so I can’t say I am, but this sounds interesting and if it’s bo kuro and teru I’m always up for hearing more! What kind of place is it? How does it work?? *O*

Anon said:Not a question or anything but I just found your blog and it is so nice??? Like all your art is amazing and you’ve made bakushimanari my ot3 and you bakusquad doodles are just perfect too. Just thank you for existing and your art and ideas just give me life. That’s all

THANK YOU OH MY GODS!!!!!!!!!! I’m so so so happy you like my squad stuff?? Lately they’re the most entertaining thing to draw tbh, I’m glad there’s actually people who like all the silliness hahaha I wish you the best weekend, anon, I know this ask just made mine, tbh!!

Anon said:LMAO when did Allen strip I don’t remember that

It’s in an extra! God I can’t remember what they were talking about so I can’t find it, I’ve been trying to since I got this ask (if??? anyone knows??? that’d be much appreciated???) but anyway they were hosting something? It might have been a character poll or something similar but I’m not sure, and Allen was The Host™ and at some point he started stripping and talking about added prices for it and if I remember right Reever and/or Johnny might have started crying for his forever lost and now non-existent innocence (was that a pun? possibly)

Anon said:OMG!!! I get so excited every time I see you posted something and now you just !!! uploaded !!!! all !!!! these !!!! BAKUGOU !!!! BIRTHDAY !!!!! COMICS !!!! AND !!!! I !!!!! AM !!!!! SO !!!! HAPPY !!!!!! (and they are all so adorable!!)

I’M GLAD YOU LIKED THEM HOLY SMOKES!!!!!!! Every time I post so much all together I always worry it’s too much haha I’m sorry for clogging all your dashboards now and again rip

Anon said:I was so excited this chapter of bnha because I thought we’d finally learn Kirishima, my babies, backstory but then we didn’t and now I’m sad (im still holding out for him having met/seen Bakugou in middle school for some reason and being inspired or something).

That’s tbh a good headcanon I’ve seen around now and again, and until Horikoshi will finally stop holding back all the Kiri infos you!!! keep on doing your thing!!!! he for sure already knew of him because everyone did thanks to the sludge incident, so why the heck not

(I can’t say I share the hc though, since until they fought together during the USJ attack Kirishima did think of Bakugou’s quirk as Everything He Ever Wanted™, but he didn’t seem to be much into Bakugou himself? I dunno I dunno Kiri’s very gay and got around to sticking to Bakugou like glue in something like fifteen chapters I can’t say we saw much of how he used to think of him before deciding he wanted to marry him lmao)

Anon said:I love Kirishima so much it’s genuinely confusing, like this boy is literally sunshine and I want him to be happy with his explody bf. The latest chapters gave me life because he is shining and I want the world to love him like I love him. Your art of him is beautiful and the best thing ever.

BOY THANK YOU!!!! I’m glad I can do him justice in your opinion? He’s SO MUCH and SO BRIGHT !!!!!!!!!! It’s kind of hard, making him just as good as he is in canon, but that’s cause he’s perfect how is he that perfect how does he even do that I 100% share all of your confusion anon when did I even fall this hard for that child

Anon said:I’m most into the voltron fandom tonight so if I followed every blog that was suggested I would be burried in more discourse than I can handle lmao so I will just try to dig through tags to find weeks

……that’s really one messy fandom you decided to stick with, anon, I admire your strength - but!!! as far as ship weeks go, since the voltron fandom is pretty huge maybe there might be a blog dedicated specifically to letting you know when fandom events are supposed to happen! You should try digging around for that!!!

#fran answers #i gtg gtg gtg #i'm so lateeee #any mistakes in this depend on the fact that it's WAY TOO LONG and i'm l a t e #ripppp #anonymous

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albion19 · 7 years

Text

Ring of Fire

Deadpool inspired AU. @dontbeallupinmyfriesdawg (you said to tag you)

Or read it on Ao3

“Phasmatos incendia!”

They say that it can take a fifth of a second to fall in love. Now you might not believe me but it’s a scientific fact. They cut out a dude’s brain and weighed it or something but that doesn’t matter. Falling love is a rush, a hit or in my case a deluge of magic released from a 5’2 witch who has literally just set my ass on fire. Johnny Cash had it right, love fucking burns.

As a siphoner exiled from the coven that by rights should be mine I found myself at a disadvantage. But I haven’t let that stop me. If a coven, say south of the Mississippi, needed someone dead and that someone was a vampire? A vampire who has a drinking problem and liked to sleeze on pretty underage girls? Shit I’d almost do it for free.

Not really. I get paid with magic and money but mostly magic.

Damon Salvatore and his Boarding House of Horrors. He had slaughtered a coven during the 80’s or something and so far had got away with it. So I got amped on witchy woo and headed to Virginia for what I thought would be a simple vamp barbecue. I thought I’d even make a vaca of it, see some family…

I thought most of the Bennett witches burned in 1790. Clearly not.

She slammed me back out of the house with a vicious motus and now I’m on the grass. I’m attracting moths. I can see them fluttering. No, that’s my hair.

Bonnie someone shouts and the most beautiful woman in the world looks down at me. Her wavy brown hair glints in the fire, her green eyes shining like emeralds. The grass starts to burn around her feet. It could almost be romantic.

“…Hi.”

She screams and jerks back. “You’re alive?!”

“Only on the inside.”

She gasps and waves her hand and the flames dwindle until I lay smouldering. Smells like BBQ.

“Uh I’m like pork crackling. It’s making me hungry, is that gross?”

She grimaces as my skin starts to heal. I hope she stays around long enough to see me all shiny and new. “Oh my god. What – what the hell are you? You almost killed Damon!”

“He isn’t dead? Damn it. I wasn’t sure the shot landed between you setting me on fire and throwing me out the window. That was awesome, by the way.” I sit up and she looks aside. I’m half naked. My dick will have scabs. I cross my arms over my chest and start to shiver. She gives me furtive looks. She’s so pretty I want to staple my eyes open.

“You better go or I’ll set you on fire again.”

“Promise?”

I smile and she frowns down at me. Am I making a good impression? The borrowed magic inside me is exploding, a butterfly orgy. If anything it feels replenished. Am I soaking her up without realising it? God I wanna roll her up and eat her she’s so cute. She growls at me as I get on my knees.

“Just go!”

“I’ll only come back. I had a mission and I haven’t finished it.”

“To kill Damon? I won’t let you.”

“Then you better give me your sweater.”

“What?” she blinks.

“If you’re not gonna let me go then can I wear your coat? Or are you just gonna use me and leave me like this?” I motion at my bare chest, which is now completely healed. Bewildered she watches as I get to my feet and stretch. Her eyes totally flick down to my navel before snapping back to my face. Ha.

“I…I didn’t say I wasn’t gonna let you go.”

“Yeah you did. I don’t usually get captured but I admit defeat,” I offer my wrists to her but she stands there frozen, her cupid-bow mouth open in a perfect circle of confusion. Wicked, lovely thoughts fill it.

“What?”

“Take me, I’m yours.”

“You – what?”

“Or you can let me go? I kill Damon and then we can go play some Skee Ball? Do you have that here? I also like ping pong.”

“Oh my god please stop talking,” she cradles her head, looking at the ground and then with sharp movements she rips off her long coat and flings it at me. It’s too small but it feels good against my skin. She smells like honey and magic.

I suck the traces of magic from the fibres and follow her away from the boarding house. Her friends have left her.

She drives me to a rundown old plantation house and I get stiff even before we reach the property. I hide it with her coat.

“Hundreds of witches died here a long time ago. It’s a magic hot spot so don’t think you can mess with me here. They burned to death,” she adds significantly, cruel, as she pushes me through the door.

“Oh, this place is a crack den to someone like me.”

“Huh?”

“Nothing. So do you bring all your dates here?”

“This – this isn’t a date. You’re such a weirdo.”

Shaking her head she leads me down a hall towards a grand but dilapidated bedroom. I fling myself onto the bed which expels a puff of dust, making us both cough. She tells me not to move, those feline eyes slitted before rummaging around under the bed. I hear some rattling and smile as she brings out a length of chain. She’s obviously done this before. It sends a spike of jealousy through me but I’m too turned on to focus.

I open my mouth to speak – didn’t even buy me dinner, not even first base – when she lifts a long slim finger and tells me to shut up.

“It’s only been an hour but I know every gross thing that’s flapping around inside your head. So keep it to yourself.”

I smile and zip my fingers across my mouth. I watch her as she goes about chaining my wrist with a manacle and then climbs up on the bed to fasten the other end to the top of the metal bed frame. She’s so small she has to stand on tip toe to reach. The butterflies in my stomach are waltzing and dinning. Foreplay is next.

“You want some help?”

“I want you to keep quiet.”

I tickle her ankle and she kicks me in the chest. I grab her foot and she looks down at me with murder in her eyes. I want to kiss her feet, grovel like a dog.

“You kidnapped me, all for a vampire who has a longer rap sheet than I do. Let me do my job unhindered and I promise I’ll come right back.”

She stares at me for a long time before she laughs, pulling her leg away. “I didn’t kidnap you, you’re insane. You’re a killer.”

“I am but I only hurt bad people. Are you like the reverse of me? You protect killers and abusers? What’s the salary like? No judgement, just curious.”

I know this seems like the wrong thing to say as she proceeds to give me the worst aneurysm I’ve ever had but it does serve a purpose. She screams a spell and snaps her hand into a fist and my head flares white like a star going super nova. Fuck she’s powerful.

Powerful but self-agonising. No self-respecting witch lowers themselves for vampires and she knows it. I’m going to kill them and save her. I’ll do it for free.

“What’s your name?”

“Kai Parker…Hey you’d be Bonnie Parker if we got married. Like Bonnie and Clyde? That’s neat.”

She excels a long breath before talking. “What were you promised for killing Damon?” she sits in a chair at the end of the bed. She had talked to her friends on her phone but warned them to stay away. She didn’t want our alone time interrupted. Sweet.

“Ten thousand dollars and a season ticket to see the Seattle Mariners.”

“Ten thousand dollars to kill a vampire?” her eyes bug out of her head.

“That’s chump change. Bagging an Original is in the millions because of the domino effect.”

Bonnie sits back in her chair in amazement and then laughs. “My mom took down Mikael and now she lives in the middle of nowhere and sells paintings on Etsy.”

“Money isn’t everything…it makes up like 40% of my pie…I heard what your mom did, we all did in Oregon. Being a badass runs in your family. Your talents are wasted.”

“Trying to butter me up won’t work.”

“I’m not, it’s just the truth but now you’ve said that I’m starving. Seriously I’m seeing it running all over your skin like honey.”

“You’re gross,” she says but this time she looks away with a small oh my god is this guy for real smile.

“Wanna go for some Korean? My friend Oscar makes a mean Dak Galbi and he taught me how. Is there a kitchen here?”

“Yeah but no one’s lived here for like fifty years. Anyway no one is cooking anything.”

“I get cranky if I don’t eat.”

“Good.”

“Thanks for the pants. I found a stick of gum in the pocket.”

“Lucky you,” she paces before the bed, looking suspicious. It’s been hours and the butterflies have now settled down and promises of marriage is on their minds. I twist the silver foil into a band around my finger.

“You’re looking antsy, you should relax,” I pat the mattress but she ignores me.

“If someone paid me a lot of money to get a job done I would not let myself get willingly captured.”

“Uh you did light me up like a Fourth of July cracker.”

She waves her hand. “You walked it off. I’d still like to know how?”

I wave my hand right back at her, making the chain swing. “Just a little transference.”

She frowns but quickly understands. “You mean you transferred your injuries to someone else?! You’re a witch?!”

“Yeah. They deserved it. Like I said I only target bad guys.”

“But you’re still here. You could escape anytime you wanted if you’re a witch.”

“I could yeah but you captured me fair and square. Do you wanna come back to Portland with me?”

She blinks and then laughs in shock. “What? No.”

“Oh, thought I’d ask. Is it the weather? It’s not raining all the time.”

“It’s not the rain. You’re an assassin! I’ve known you for four hours.”

“I know it’s crazy right? It only took one fifth of second for me to know.”

She steps closer, frowning. “Know what?”

“That we’d get married one day.”

She scoffs and leaves the room. I sigh, watch her go and it actually hurts.

“Damn, you’re fucking whipped man.”

“Oscar! My little dumpling. Sorry I’m really hungry.”

A short, middle aged Korean man stands by the wall with a grin. My childhood friend, partner in crime and fellow siphoner. I used to buy pot off him at magic school, that’s how we met. He’s my best friend and when I got out of my prison world he took me in after my coven shunned me. Not like I was their leader or anything…

“Ssh. I don’t want her to roast me alive too. She got you good huh? I found scorch marks.”

“I’m in love.”

“I heard. It must be like Inside Out inside you right now, those little guys running around and freaking out.”

“I feel really weird but it’s a good weird. I’m gonna handcuff her to me and bring her to Portland.”

He winces, shaking his head. “Uh, ask her out on a date, that might work better. Handcuffs are only for police officers and role plays”

I nod. Oscar usually reels me in when I’m like this. Thank fuck he arrived. “Right. Okay. So good news?”

“Okay so previously on the Siphoner Diaries: I decapitated Damon Salvatore and I’m about to go back to New Orleans to present his fangs.”

I smile. “Under normal circumstances I’d be bummed but I’d give you my entire fang collection if it meant she’d set me on fire again.”

Oscar places a hand to his chest. He’s a good man, a complete hippy shit but a good man. “Damn, I’ve never seen you like this before. I’m so happy for you man, sincerely. So you’re staying put?”

“For now,” I say as he moves back into the shadows as Bonnie approaches. “I’m gonna take her back to Portland with me. Not in a bad way, I’ll do it right. We’re gonna have triplets.”

Oscar looks at the tattered remains of my clothes and chains before disappearing. “Yeah, good luck with that.”

“Who was that?” Bonnie demands, entering the room.

“A ghost from a Korean horror movie, thank god you got back,” I say as she scans the room but Oscar is gone. We decided to split the winnings, no matter who bags the head. It’s how we work. Bonnie rolls her eyes and moves to the side of the bed. She sighs. She doesn’t look upset so I guess she doesn’t know yet.

“I got you a Twinkie, it was in my car. It’s probably a dozen years old but -” I snatch it out of her hand before she can finish and rip it open with my teeth.

“Fanks.”

“You killed him!” she screams, slapping me out of a daze. The candy was nice but not enough. Even as an acne ridden teenager I knew the importance of a nutritional diet. No one else was gonna look after me.

“Huh?”

“Damon! He was killed!”

“Well it wasn’t me. You’re my alibi.”

“Then who was it?!” she hisses, kneeling on the bed. God she smells so good. I want to lick her. I bet I could taste her magic in her sweat because I can smell it she’s so close. She yanks at my hair and I laugh.

“I don’t know! Probably another competing merc. We all get offered the assignment. It wasn’t me.” I shrug and I watch the anger drain from her face, replaced with guilt.

“Oh god, this is all my fault.”

“Hey, no it’s not. Come on, was he really your friend?”

“Yes!”

“When’s his birthday?”

“Uh…”

“What’s the last thing he texted you?”

“…I need a favour.”

“Which was?”

“None of your business,” she snaps.

“Did he say thank you? I’d say thank you.”

“Like you have any friends.”

“I do, a good one and we appreciate each other. I get that and I’m a fucking freak of nature. You deserve nothing less.”

She sits weakly, all fight gone and tears rim her eyes. She has long, fluffy black eyelashes, like spider legs. They’re drowning and I wipe the tears away with my thumb. She lets me. “You don’t know anything about me.”

“I want to. Why do you think I’m here? A fifth of second is all it took.”

She stares at me for a long scrutinising time before shaking her head and looking aside. “You’re a sociopath.”

“Kinda, I mean I was. It’s a long story. So now that I’m no longer in Buffy mode you wanna hang out for real? Do you like Karaoke?”

She sniffs, blinking and then gives a small nod. “Yeah.”

“Awesome.”

“The taste of love is sweet When hearts like ours meet I fell for you like a child Oh, but the fire went wild…”

#bonkai #deadpool au #and they get married and start a little assassin fmaily of witches #magical assassin kai #karaoke kai #lol this is weird and kinda ooc for him but he got whammed with love #and i think oscar the heretic would get on so well with kai #imma introduce him into northern lights as kai's friend #my fics

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