#anyway three of my favorite chickens have died in the last 3 weeks and another one died on my birthday

[lunaicfantastic]

anyone know how to tell if someone has like put a curse on you or something

#shut up anna #anyway three of my favorite chickens have died in the last 3 weeks and another one died on my birthday #this morning's death was from a raccoon and uh they're known for beheading their prey so... fun surprise #literally was thinking about how much I loved that bird this am bc she was so sweet and fell asleep in my arms and im just so angry #going to therapy today so gonna try not to fall into magical thinking but im paranoid and superstitious and its a bad combo #anyway

[impalas-r-important]

Love of my Life - (6) How it all started

Summary: This is the story of how Dean and Y/N met.

Warnings: Some show level violence. Dean being a sap.

A/N: Okay, we're hitting rewind to delve into some back story before we continue on any further. I loved writing these next few chapters about how Dean and Y/N met. This is set just weeks after Dean returns from hell in S4. The italics are Dean's thoughts. Let me know if you'd like a tag for the rest of the series. Thanks for all the love!

Series Masterlist

DEAN'S POV

Sam and I were in over our heads and we knew it. What was supposed to be a small nest of vamps ended up being a whole house full. The first few we took care of easily, then they started coming out of the woodwork. Left and right, up and down, they were everywhere. So, we did what we always did; we went to work. Heads were rolling, blood was spattering, fangs were flying, but I was backed into a corner with 3 of them closing in on me and Sam had his own problems. He was on the floor, trying desperately to back away from two onrushing blood suckers. Both of us weaponless, we exchanged looks as if to say goodbye, and I prepared myself to fight for my life.

I raised my bloodied fists, staring straight into the eyes of the monster who would surely kill me. He took half a step forward before stopping dead in his tracks as a quick flash of a blade sliced through his neck so smoothly that his head stayed balanced for a moment before slipping off to the ground with his body following suit. I didn’t have even have enough time to feel shocked when the remaining two vamps who were cornering me met the same fate. What the hell? I thought to myself. I looked up to gauge the situation when I saw her. Long Y/H/C hair danced through the room, swiftly flowing as she expertly beheaded pests left and right, a machete in each hand.

“You just gonna stand there, or are you gonna help?” She yelled as she slid one of her blades over to me. I picked it up and joined back in the fight. She had already taken care of the vampires after Sam and he was by her side, picking them off quickly. I took care of another three, leaving just two left who were quickly retreating and too far away for us to catch them on foot. The strays had almost made it to the door when I saw the mystery hunter throw her machete, nailing one square in the back. She then grabbed my knife from my hand, flinging it at the other, leaving both of them lying on the ground. Two bullseyes. Damn.

Sam and I jogged over to them, pulled the blades from their backs and, in unison, sliced their heads off. Chests heaving, we looked up at each other, then over to the new girl who was wiping blood from her machete on the jacket of one of the victims.

“Bleh.” I heard her mutter to herself as she casually kicked a severed head from her path and walked over to us.

“Sam and Dean, right?” She asked.

Sam and I, both still shaking off the shock, hesitated to answer. Sam cut the silence. “Uhm, not to sound ungrateful, but who are you?”

“Your new favorite person.” She gave a teasing side smile. “I’m Y/N. Bobby Singer called me and asked if I could check in on you boys. He said something about you having your heads too far up your asses to ask for help.”

I got lost in her eyes when she looked at me and my heart was beating so heavily that I felt my legs shake with every thump. I could only hope she and Sam couldn’t hear it beating. Sam noticed my dreamy state and hit my side, pulling me from the trance. I cleared my throat and desperately searched for the words to invite her to stick around for the rest of the night. I had to get to know her. A million phrases ran thought my mind, but all that managed to slip from my mouth was, “We have a shower.”

Sam dramatically turned his head and looked at me like I had lobsters crawling out my ears. Y/N raised her eyebrow and nodded a little. “Okay. Good for you?” She replied, clearly confused.

“Oh, no, I just…. I, uh…” I stammered. Sam quickly interrupted me. Thank goodness.

“I think what my brother is trying to say is that you are welcome to come back to our motel and clean up if you want.”

“I actually have a room not too far off from here, but I appreciate the offer.”

Crap. Say something, Dean! Don’t just let her go.

“Well can we at least meet up with you and buy you dinner? We owe you that.” I, too eagerly, counter-offered, just relieved that I spoke in full sentences.

“Okay, yeah that sounds good. Let me go get this blood washed off first though.” Y/N agreed.

“Great, meet us at that old timey diner on main street at five.” Sam added.

“See you then, boys.” Y/N looked between the two of us and smiled.

“It’s a date!” The words flew out of my mouth before I even thought about them twice. “Well, not an actual date, but you know…” I rubbed the back of my neck and grimaced at my own stupid self. Y/N gave a small laugh and sent a wink my way before leaving.

Sam waited until the door was closing behind Y/N before he turned to me. “Dude... We have a shower?” He mocked, clearly trying to suppress his laughter, which escaped in a snort anyway. “You’ve got it bad!”

“I do not!” I tried to fight, but I knew I was lying to myself. Right now, I should be feeling lucky that we didn’t die a horrible death, but all I could think of were Y/N’s deep eyes, brilliant smile and that wink she sent my way. Damn, that wink. “Shut up. Let’s get outta here.”

Sam’s laughter continued all the way back to the motel. He was having way too much fun reenacting the “lost puppy” look on my face.

Sam was in the shower and I walked over to the mirror hanging above the desk and gave myself an internal pep talk.

You are Dean freaking Winchester. Girls don’t scare you and you will not be an idiot tonight!

I gave myself a reassuring nod then reminded Sam to hurry so I could wash all the vampire gunk off of me.

We pulled into the diner just before five and the waitress seated us. The minutes seemed to drag on and I couldn’t help but check my watch every few seconds.

“Dude, relax. I can feel your anxiety from across the table.” Sam said, not picking his eyes up from his menu. I sent him a glare and began to read down the list of food they had here. The bell at the door dinged, signaling someone had entered and my eyes shot up. There was Y/N, dressed in blue jeans and a plain white shirt. How could she be so beautiful in something so casual? She looked around and I waved my hand at her, my heart singing the second she saw me. I was mesmerized by her doing something so simple as just walking over to us at the table.

“You two clean up nice.” She greeted. Sam had purposely sat in the middle of his side of the booth with our coats on either side of him so she wouldn’t have any choice but to sit by me. You would have thought I had just finished running a marathon with how fast my heart was beating.

“So,” she picked up her menu and glanced over it, “you guys been here before? What’s good?”

Sam answered first. “We got some take out last night. The grilled chicken salad is pretty good.”

“Nah, come on. We’re celebrating! I don’t know about you guys, but seventeen vamps inside an hour is a personal record. You can’t celebrate properly with salad.”

I tried my best to hide my smile at her comment.

“My go to is always a cheeseburger of some kind. Preferably with bacon.” I added.

“Mmm, you know what? Bacon does sound good. I’ll go for the BLT.” She smiled and shut her menu, placing it on the edge of the table. Man, this girl just keeps getting better. “So, I’ve gotta admit, I never thought that the first time I’d be meeting the famous Winchesters would be me saving your asses.”

“You’ve heard of us?” I ask, trying my hardest not to stare too much.

“Are you kidding? Everyone in the hunting community knows who you two are. Plus, Bobby loves you boys more than he’d ever admit.”

“I remember Bobby talking about you, too.” Sam joined in. “He said he loved you like a daughter, but he never sent us out on cases with you because he didn’t want us to ruin you.”

“Hah! Yeah, that sounds like Bobby.” Her smile absolutely lit up the small diner. “He told me he didn’t want me ever getting involved with you boys because you were bad influences. Well, mostly just Dean actually.” She looked at me and added, “Bobby said you’re too much of a womanizer for me to be around.”

I didn’t want her to think that I was interested in her just to use her. My soul wanted to get to know hers.

“I used to be.” I admitted. “Not so much anymore.”

“What changed?” Y/N asked.

“I guess going to hell and coming back really changes a guy.” I laughed.

“Fair enough.” Every time Y/N looks at me, I get a rush of adrenaline. I’m trying my hardest not to blush when the waitress comes over to take our orders.

Dinner was the most fun I’ve had in a long time. We exchanged hunting stories and talked about our lives a lot. Y/N’s family had died when she was little, and she bounced around between Bobby and a few other hunters who helped raise her. She seems to be the most put together person for having a past like that.

Y/N excused herself to use the bathroom and Sam made his move. “Alright, Dean, I’m going to head back to the motel. You good to walk?”

“What? Why?”

“I’m going to give you two some time to yourselves. Tell her I was just tired from the hunt and wanted to head back.”

I give him a suspicious look, but I’m actually more than happy I get some one-on-one time with Y/N.

“Oh, and don’t sleep with her. Bobby will send you straight back to hell.” Sam added with a hard pat on the back as he takes the keys from me and heads out the door.

Y/N comes back and asks where Sam went.

“Oh, he’s kind of a party pooper. He went back to the motel for some shut eye. You don’t mind if I keep you company, do you?”

“I’d like that.” A shy smile crept up on her face.

“So, we’re celebrating. How about some dessert?”

“Hell yes. You are speaking my language. I have the world’s biggest sweet tooth.”

“What are you in the mood for? I guess you get to pick since you saved my ass.” I was obviously hoping she’d choose pie.

“Anything chocolate.”

“Hmmm,” I look over the small menu off to the side of the table, “chocolate cream pie? I love me some pie.”

“Perfect!” She waived the waitress over and order a whole pie. A girl after my own heart.

A few minutes later, a beautiful, massive pie is set down on our table with two forks and we dive in. I ate my fair share, but Y/N polished most of that thing off.

“I’m impressed.” I sit back and rub my full stomach as I look at her finishing the last few bites of the pie. “I’ve never seen any girl eat that much.”

She shrugged. “I love chocolate. Plus, hunting makes me hungry.”

I can’t help but admire her every movement. She’s so kind and graceful, and her hair falls so perfectly around her shoulders. I can’t find one flaw and I know I’m in trouble. She catches me staring at her a few moments too long, but I shake off the embarrassment and keep the conversation flowing, not wanting this night to end. We talked for hours about anything and everything. Dreams, hopes, fears, music, food, family, and before I know it, the waitress is telling us that we have to leave because they are closing. My heart drops because I just can’t get enough of this girl. Everything in me was so drawn to her.

I open the door for her, and the slight breeze is just cold enough to give her goosebumps. Immediately I take off my jacket and wrap it around her shoulders, holding it up enough to let her arms slide in.

“Thank you.” She smiled.

“Don’t thank me, I’m only standing here right now because you saved my life.” We stand silent for a few seconds just looking at each other before she breaks the stare and reaches into her pocket, pulling out her car keys.

“Well, let me at least give you a ride back to your motel. It’s too cold out here for you to be walking.”

It wasn’t too cold, but I wouldn’t turn down that offer in a million years.

“You mind driving? I’m pretty sleepy.” She held her keys out to me. Something about the way she said “sleepy” and looked up at me while drowning in my jacket made me go crazy. I hadn’t known this girl for even 12 hours, and she owed my entire heart already.

“Of course.” I gladly took her keys from her and subconsciously placed my hand on her lower back like we were some cheesy-ass couple, but she didn’t stop me, so I left it there as I lead her to the only car left in the parking lot, which I assumed to be hers.

“Where are you staying?” I asked.

“At the Red Rock motel, about ten minutes that way.” She pointed north. I couldn’t help but laugh as I moved her arm to the right.

“Sam and I are holed up there too, but it’s actually east.”

We both laughed as I started up the engine.

“Don’t judge me. I drove twenty hours straight to save your asses and I’m tired.” She joked. “Plus, I’ve never been that good with directions.”

“Well, it’s a good thing you’ve got your own personal compass now.” I sent her a wink, and she bit her bottom lip, trying to fight the blush that was creeping up on her cheeks, which, in turn, made me blush. Dammit, am I a freaking teenager again?

We pulled into the motel and I walked her to her room. She shrugged off my jacket and thanked me as she gave it back and told me goodnight.

I couldn’t wipe the stupid smile off of my face the entire walk back to my room, and upon entering, Sam noticed.

“Aww, Dean’s in love.” Sam half mocked from the bed he was sitting on, with his computer in his lap.

“Whatever.” I brushed him off. “You got a new case?” I nodded to the computer and newspapers that he had been studying.

“Yeah, I think so. Some missing people in Montana have shown up with their hearts ripped out.”

“Sounds wolfy to me.” I added as I began to get ready for bed. “Maybe Y/N wants to come with us. You good if I invite her?”

Sam raised his eyebrows at me. “No, I don’t mind. But be straight with me for a minute here. Dean, how much do you really like this girl?”

I didn’t even feel the need to lie. “I really, really like her. Like I’m already in way too deep for not knowing her for a full day.”

“Wow. The great Dean Winchester is whipped. Never thought I’d see that day.” Sam closed his laptop and began to gather up all his papers. “Be honest, was it when she threw the machetes?”

“The freaking machetes, man. That was the most badass thing I’ve ever seen…” I trailed off. “But no, I mean, that’s part of it, but it’s just everything about her. I can’t say it’s one specific thing, because it’s just every single detail about her draws me in.”

“Alright Nicholas Sparks, well I’m getting some shut eye and you should too. We have a long drive tomorrow.” Sam turned off the lamp by his bed and turned away from me, snoring almost instantly. I slid under the covers, knowing that I should be exhausted after a long day that involved almost dying, but all I could think about was talking to Y/N tomorrow.

Chapter 7

Tags:

@vicmc624

#dean winchester #dean x reader #dean x y/n #dean x you #dean winchester fanfiction #supernatural #spn

[violetwolfraven]

Ray Molina: Best Dad Ever

For the March 11th explosion of content thing. Just Violet being a fantom and doing my part for this!

Tw: mentioned death, mentioned abusive parents, mentioned panic attack.

So the boys can be seen and heard when directly touching Julie after the whole post-Orpheum glowy hug thing but Ray doesn’t know that just yet.

What he does know is that Julie’s mental health took a rapid turn for the better for seemingly no reason and then a couple weeks later he found out she joined a band without telling him.

He’s not stupid. He knows that’s probably because of the band, though he is a bit confused as to how she even met them.

He kinda figures it’s a kids and your internet tricks thing but there’s some flaws to this theory.

1) He asks Flynn what she knows about the boys only... it seems like she doesn’t know much of anything. That’s weird because he knows Julie tells her practically everything.

2) The boys have American accents despite Julie claiming they’re from Sweden.

3) Carlos is a terrible liar and on the rare occasion Julie actually talks about the boys he gets this weirdly conspiratorial look.

So anyway Ray doesn’t really believe it’s as simple as ‘I met these 3 Swedish boys on the internet’ but he trusts his daughter’s judgement and he leaves it alone.

Anyway he has other things to focus on.

Such as how Ray has literally never been able to keep track of his keys/phone/hats/camera parts/stuff and now it seems to just pop up whenever he’s looking for it.

Also he keeps feeling like there’s someone with him around the house more and more.

Like not a malicious presence like Victoria fears, and definitely not like Rose is around watching him, but like someone is there.

Sometimes it feels like there’s more than one presence around. None of them familiar but all of them friendly.

Oddly enough, whatever or whoever it is feels almost like Julie or Carlos. Young and excitable and like a verse of a happy song. He’s not sure why they’re around, but they definitely don’t feel dangerous, so Ray doesn’t feel threatened.

But some days a better comparison might be to Trevor back when Rose first introduced him. Raw and fragile and very, very sad.

Ray tries to put on happy music or a Disney cartoon or something on those days and he doesn’t quite know why or how but the energy usually gets more positive when he does that.

Anyway after a while of this (after the Orpheum performance) he starts noticing weird things that Carlos and Julie do now.

Carlos will just carry around a small whiteboard and a couple pens and he erases it whenever Ray comes into the room but before he does it almost looks like there’s two, three, or even four sets of handwriting on there.

And he walks in on Julie talking to herself like. All the time.

Carlos doesn’t ask for help on his math homework anymore. Julie makes this insanely good chicken recipe for dinner once and then clearly panics and lies when asked where she got it. Flynn makes a set of rainbow friendship bracelets one day while she’s hanging out at the Molina house but he doesn’t see Julie wearing the match to the one she keeps.

Plus Carrie starts hanging out at their house again?? Out of the blue?? And none of the girls have a good explanation for how they made up??

Then later Nick Danforth-Evans (who Julie used to talk about having a crush on but hasn’t in a while) starts hanging around too and the kid seems... well, Ray doesn’t want to throw the word ‘traumatized’ around, but he’s jumpy and guarded in a way that can only be described as a little bit traumatized.

So all 5 kids are clearly keeping some secret and Ray’s getting suspicious and worried.

He sits them down and asks what’s going on. Like is one of them having problems at home, or..?

The kids, simultaneously:

Julie: no, we’re just all in a play together!

Carlos: we’re fine we’re just ghost hunting!

Flynn: we’re exhibiting bisexual-pansexual-lesbian solidarity!

Carrie: Julie and the Phantoms and Dirty Candi are doing a collaboration album!

Nick: we all joined jazz band??

Ray’s calling bullshit at this point.

Then Julie and Nick both look up directly at the same spot, somewhere a couple feet above the arm of the couch, which is seemingly just empty air.

Whatever it is, it doesn’t seem like the other kids can see it but they all seem to be waiting for something and Ray is wondering if they’re sharing a hallucination??? Are they all on drugs??? Should he be worried???

Then Julie says to meet them in the studio in 30 minutes. Flynn, Carrie, and Nick go home to give the Molina family some alone time.

*cue music performance where Ray is introduced to the boys*

So anyway Julie and Carlos (with the help of the ghosts whenever one of them has something to say and grabs Julie’s hand) give him a clearly-sugarcoated version of the last few months.

Ghosts of Trevor’s dead bandmates help Julie reconnect with music, they form a band, they meet another ghost, other ghost accidentally gets them involved with evil magician ghost, Nick got possessed, Carrie figured it out and helped plot to get him un-possessed, evil magician ghost is still out there and they’re sticking together so he can’t get any of them in the future.

Despite how they say it like it’s no big deal, Ray now understands why the kids have been acting so weird because all these things sound scary and painful.

Also the more he thinks about it, the more he worries about the fact that he has three 17-year-old boys sleeping in his garage who died terribly of food poisoning.

They are children and they died incredibly painfully and then almost got enslaved and/or erased from existence.

Then one day Ray’s feeling one of those presences around the house again and he realizes it’s probably one of Julie’s ghost boys.

Ray: who’s there?

Whoever it is freaks out and leaves, and Ray takes notes for next time.

The next time he feels someone in the room, he has a notepad ready and he writes down “Luke, Alex, or Reggie?” from what he remembers from Julie’s introductions.

Immediately, there’s a spike of anxiety in the room.

Ray: it’s okay. You can stay and we don’t have to talk if you don’t want to. I’d like to know who it is I’m not talking to though.

There’s a few seconds of hesitation, and then the pen picks itself up and the name “Reggie” gets circled.

Ray: the bassist with the flannels, right?

Yeah, written in a teenage boy’s messy scrawl.

Ray: okay, do you want to watch a movie?

More hesitation, and Ray’s not sure what that’s about but he’s starting to suspect with the amount of fear still in the room, and there’s a good 20 seconds where Reggie doesn’t respond before I don’t know.

Ray: Moana or Tangled? Moana.

After that, he takes a page out of Carlos’s book and gets a small whiteboard with 3 pens that stick to it magnetically. Red for Reggie, blue for Luke, and pink for Alex.

Reggie has written conversations with him most, but Luke does sometimes too and Alex does least often but he’ll still request a movie occasionally.

All of them are wary around him and Ray doesn’t quite know what to do to earn their trust. But he asks questions about their preferences on things. He says they did good on their latest show. He remembers which movies are their favorites and introduces them to music he thinks are their styles.

Luke is a big fan of Fall Out Boy and Reggie fucking loves Taylor Swift.

Alex is less consistent but occasionally Ray will play a song and he’ll write something like This is a cool song.

He starts to be able to tell which energy is which even before they write who it is right around the time the boys start to be visible for longer and longer after playing.

They play a really good show and stay visible for like 2 full days and that’s the first (but not the last) time Ray really gets to get to know them.

He starts noticing after really good shows like that one how even more now that they can be seen, they’re all a little... off from how Nick and Carrie and Flynn act around him.

With Luke it’s mostly because he’s trying so hard to impress because *gasp* he and Julie are a thing but there’s still a little bit of tension that seems like it comes from something deeper than just being nervous around his girlfriend’s dad.

With Reggie it’s subtle caution. Like he’s happy to be hanging out with Ray but he’s constantly ready for something to go wrong. There’s a catch in his smile, a hesitation before he states an opinion, a practiced carefulness where he changes the subject at any sign of even mild frustration.

But with Alex... it’s mostly just avoidance. Like if he poofs in while visible and it just so happens that no one else is there, he’ll find an excuse to leave.

And Ray lets him, of course. He doesn’t want the kid to feel trapped. But all of the boys’ behavior bothers him.

On the rare occasion they spend more than 2 seconds together Alex is really quiet. He won’t admit if Ray guessed wrong about a song and he doesn’t like it even though his body language makes it clear he’s not vibing with it. Actually, his body language pretty much just spells I am very uncomfortable in every situation where Julie or Carlos went to the bathroom or someone went to grab a snack and they’re alone even for 5 minutes while he’s visible.

Ray’s not stupid. He knows three 17-year-olds don’t end up getting their instruments left to their only living bandmate’s new best friend’s family by having good relationships with their own families.

He doesn’t exactly want to bring it up, but he kind of knows.

Then one day he’s sitting with all 3 boys watching a movie while he fixes something on his camera and Julie and Carlos are at school and he messes up a little part that means he has to start over (don’t @ me I know nothing about cameras) and swears out of frustration louder than he meant to.

He reaches for the screwdriver on the coffee table and

And Reggie and Alex both flinch.

Ray hadn’t even noticed they were tracking his movements, but while Luke seems to just have moved his focus from the TV to his friends in concern, Alex and Reggie both look too tense to play it off.

He figures its as good a time as any to have a chat cause these boys aren’t his sons but they don’t have anyone else acting as a parent figure to them and he feels the need to take care of them. He pauses the movie.

Ray: Can we have a talk? About you boy’s families?

Naturally Luke jumps in to try to distract him immediately, telling a story about his dad taking him fishing once, but he stops when Ray asks him to stop.

Ray: That’s not what I’m talking about and I think you all know it.

The boys are all still silent. Luke looks 500% ready to deflect again. Reggie and Alex look more like they’re expecting to get yelled at or worse.

Ray: I just want to help. I’ll drop it if you want me to but I want you to know that I would never do something to hurt any of you intentionally. You can talk to me about anything if you need to.

He means to make it an option of ‘you can talk but you don’t have to if you don’t want to,’ but the boys clearly don’t take it as such with how Luke starts talking immediately.

Luke: I ran away when I was 17. My mom and dad didn’t want me to stay in Sunset Curve, I think they thought it was going to get me into drugs or something.

They have a short talk about parents having good intentions not equalling them being right to push Luke so hard they pushed him away and it’s okay to feel hurt by that and then press play on the movie again and Ray thinks he sees all 3 boys relax somewhat during that.

A couple weeks later Reggie comes in visible and hesitantly asks about watching this series he saw when Carlos was scrolling through Netflix once.

Mid-episode he blurts out

Reggie: I don’t want to look for my parents and I feel weird about that.

He rambles for a while about knowing he was lucky that his family had money and his mom and dad told him they loved him and stuff but also he remembers so many fights between them where he felt caught in the middle and it never ended well if he chose a side but there was no way to win because they’d both turn on him if he didn’t so it was just this constant balancing act to try to prevent fights in the first place.

Reggie: I felt like I was walking on a tightrope. Like, all the time. I tried so hard to keep them from getting mad at each other or at me. Only it never worked and it was always a question of when they were going to snap next and it was confusing cause one day we’d go to the zoo and everything would be fine and the next they’d yell at me and send me to bed without food.

He feels guilty for not wanting to put in the effort to find them because he’s pretty sure on some level they did love him but he doesn’t want to see them again.

And he doesn’t want to know if they even miss him at all because when he got older and the fighting got too intense he would sneak off to Luke’s or Bobby’s and no matter if he stayed away for an hour or a couple days they never seemed to notice he was gone.

Ray listens and a lot of things about Reggie start to make sense. How he’s so careful not to catch him in a bad mood. How he shuts down whenever anyone raises their voice. How he helps out so much in an effort to stay on Ray’s good side.

It’s a day and a half after the latest show so they can’t really hug but Ray does what he can to provide comfort and validate his feelings anyway because damn Reggie is a good kid and he didn’t deserve that.

Reggie and Luke get more comfortable with coming to him for meaningful chats, or even just to vent about whatever’s going on lately.

Eventually they seem to feel almost as comfortable with him as Julie and Carlos do so it kinda becomes a routine.

Like Julie will ask for cuddles when she’s sad about missing Rose or she’ll walk in and vent about Carrie and Flynn being so obvious about liking each other but somehow not realizing it’s mutual and she and Nick are 3rd wheeling and going insane.

Carlos will excitedly ramble about his latest baseball practice shenanigans for an hour but also sometimes ask for someone to watch old home movies or listen to old CDs from Rose and the Petal Pushers with him.

And that’s normal. That’s been Ray’s life since his kids started talking. But the thing is that it’s just as normal when

When Luke tells how he’s still angry about his music getting stolen because it feels like a part of him was taken away and he worked hard on those songs. Also one day he very shyly admits

Luke: I like Julie a lot.

Ray: I know, kiddo.

Luke: You’re not mad?

Ray: As long as you two make each other happy, no. I’m happy for you.

And it’s just as normal when Reggie talks about missing his little cousin Kelsi and wondering where she ended up only for them to look her up and find out she’s a major Broadway writer/director now oh my god— and also

Reggie: I think I like boys. Like boys are cute. But I know I’m not gay because girls are cute too and ugh it’s confusing it’s probably nothing I guess everybody goes through this.

Ray: Have you ever thought you might be bisexual?

Reggie: Bi-what-now?

Ray, already digging out his old flannels that he would have passed down to Julie except they’re too big for her: It’s okay to like both, kiddo.

All this is great of course. It’s great how Reggie and Luke aren’t afraid anymore and they feel validated and seen and listened to.

But months have passed and Ray notices how Alex remains separate. He still avoids Ray when he can and stays quiet and cautious when he can’t.

Like Ray still senses Alex around him sometimes but never right after a show when he’s visible. He doesn’t come to him with problems. He’ll stay and listen when Ray plays a song he thinks he’d like, but he still seems so cautious and Ray doesn’t know how to help.

He asks Luke one day while he’s introducing him to a Wicked bootleg if he’s done something specific to scare Alex away.

Luke gets this really dark look on his face and he just

Luke: Let’s just say that my parents didn’t do everything perfectly, but they’re saints compared to Alex’s.

Ray decides to drop it, but Luke wants to reassure him.

Luke: You haven’t done anything wrong. He’s just not very comfortable around most adults in general. It’s one thing when we’re invisible, but...

Ray: I just wish I could help.

Luke: You do help. But it took a while for Alex to trust me.

The conversation ends there because Luke starts getting really into Defying Gravity.

But then that night Julie comes in with a kind of out of character movie request so Ray thinks Luke talked to her.

Because Julie does not like most romcoms that aren’t musicals. She gets bored. But she requests Love, Simon anyway.

Ray kind of sees what she’s trying to do there because now that he’s thinking about it the boys haven’t really seen many things with queer rep. Especially not queer main characters.

And nobody’s really told him that Alex is gay but cmon he’s an elder bi. He has accurate gaydar so he can support his queer ducklings.

Despite how the boys all know being gay is more socially acceptable now (they found out about Nick’s dads and the girls gave them the ‘gay marriage is legal now’ talk) they still seem kind of baffled by how there’s an entire romcom centered around a gay boy and it did well.

From there Ray tries to find more movies and tv shows with canon queer representation.

And he keeps giving Alex space but also trying his best to show him that he’s not like his parents.

For a long time nothing changes beyond Luke and Reggie getting increasingly comfortable with him.

Well that’s not completely true actually cause Reggie starts tagging along to photo shoots and becomes Ray’s unofficial mostly invisible assistant.

Then the band plays an amazing show and the boys stay visible for a full week.

Around the middle of that week, Ray goes out to the garage to find Reggie and see if he wants to come on a photo shoot.

Reggie isn’t out there but Alex is.

And he’s crying. Hard.

He looks like he’s going to poof out when he sees Ray there but Ray’s already 100% ready to do exactly what he always does when he walks in on Julie or Carlos crying.

Ray: Alex. Hey, buddy, it’s okay. I’m here. It’s going to be okay.

Alex freezes and it breaks Ray’s heart how that kind of concern is clearly not what he’s expecting.

Ray: Are you okay with being touched?

Alex looks kind of like he’s in shock but he nods.

He clearly doesn’t really know what to do with it but he kind of melts into it when Ray hugs him and he just sobs on his shoulder.

When he’s stopped crying enough he starts rambling about how he’s been looking everywhere but he can’t find Willie.

At that point he’s basically having a panic attack so finding out what’s wrong takes a backseat compared to calming him down and Ray knows how to do that because he and Rose used to do that for Trevor all the time.

Ray: Alex, breathe. In for 4 counts, hold for 7, out for 8. Breathe with me.

It takes a couple minutes until Alex has calmed down enough, but once he does, Ray asks what’s wrong and what’s happening with Willie.

He only vaguely knows who Willie is from what he’s been told by the other kids but he knows he’s important to Alex.

So Alex takes a deep breath and explains that Caleb confronted him and basically said the boys had to join his house band or he would make sure he’d never see Willie again. And he doesn’t want to ask his family to sacrifice themselves for him but he doesn’t want to lose the boy he loves either.

Ray wants to throw hands but from what the kids have told him about Caleb, he has a better idea.

Ray: Here’s what we’re gonna do, buddy. Reggie said Caleb has this super catchy number, The Other Side of Hollywood?

Alex: Yeah?

Ray: How quickly do you think Luke and Julie could come up with an arrangement for you four to cover that and how desperate do you think Covington would be to make sure a video of that never gets published without crediting him?

Alex: :o

Spoiler alert: Julie and Luke, in collaboration with Carrie, can come up with an arrangement very quickly.

They do a private performance of it and film it and basically blackmail Caleb into letting Willie go.

Willie has an empty house that used to be his parents’ that he still considers his so he mostly crashes there if he needs to. Also he loves skating around so much that he never stays in one place for very long.

Julie can see him but she can’t make him visible so it’s a little odd but Ray gets an orange pen for him for the whiteboard and he finds skateboarding videos and stuff for when he visits.

They eventually figure out that he can be part of the magic by adding him to the band so they give him a tambourine and yay now Willie can be seen but that’s later.

The biggest immediate change to come out of all this is Alex.

He’s not afraid of Ray anymore for the most part (healing isn’t linear and he can’t help a few bad days) and he starts actually talking to him. Not about serious stuff but he’s talking. Mostly just rambling about how Willie makes him feel or how Luke and Reggie have been being annoying lately.

Then one day he comes in really nervous and says something about Reggie saying he talked to Ray about his parents.

And Ray confirms it and asks if there’s anything Alex needs to tell him.

Alex sits down and clearly he’s been holding this in for a long time and he just unloads how he came out to his parents because his youngest sister found his diary and he was scared she’d tell them. They didn’t react well and when he cried out of fear and frustration his father... gave him something to cry about.

His father did that a few more times, trying to ‘make him man up,’ and Alex never told his bandmates but he always knew they could see the bruises and that was why Bobby made it so clear his garage was open and his house was a safe place to run.

But Alex didn’t no matter how bad things got because he guessed some small part of him thought he deserved it but mostly it was about how his oldest sister dropped out of college and ghosted the family and Alex was the next-oldest so he felt responsible for protecting his younger sisters even if they both had learned behaviors from their parents and hated him.

Then that summer he found out his parents were planning on sending him away to some Christian camp where they’d ‘fix’ him.

Alex made it clear that he wouldn’t go and if they tried to make him he’d run away, but their ultimatum was that he couldn’t live under their roof if he was gay.

So he didn’t. And it was a situation somewhere between getting kicked out and running away, but he packed a bag and never went back.

He ran to Bobby’s house, he wrote a whole bunch of angry songs, and he tried not to think too much about how he understood why his older sister left and how he was doing the exact same thing to his younger sisters.

By the time he’s done explaining everything Ray’s trying not to cry but Alex is definitely already crying mostly out of anger.

Alex: I hated them all. I hated Molly for leaving me and I hated my mom for turning my little sisters against me and I hated my dad for hurting me and I even hated Anna and Josie for not standing by me and I just hated them all so much. I still do. And it is so stupid that I feel guilty for that because they were terrible to me and I was 16 and I didn’t deserve that but I do feel guilty for it because they’re my family and I hate them.

Ray doesn’t have much to say because damn this is heavy stuff but he assures him that after what he went through he has a right to hate his blood family.

Alex tells him awkwardly when he’s calmed down a bit that Luke is the only other person he’s ever told about all this, because after he ran away they dated for a few months before figuring out that they were better as friends.

Reggie and Bobby guessed parts of it and Julie probably has too but none of them have asked and Alex thinks he might tell Reggie and Julie someday if it ever comes up but he never did end up telling Bobby.

Ray assures him that he won’t tell anyone and also that he would never do that. He would never do anything to hurt Alex or the others on purpose.

He makes a silent promise that no one will ever hurt one of his kids like that again and if Caleb or anyone else ever tries, they will regret it.

But anyway on to happier matters.

Willie visits a lot and he’s a little skittish around Ray but he loosens up after he jokingly mentions one time that Willie and Alex are like the beginning of the Sk8ter Boy song.

Alex and Ray might be Denim Jacket Buddies but once Ray digs his old leather jacket out of the closet he becomes Leather Jacket Buddies with Reggie.

You’d think he has to tell Carlos and Reggie off the most for breaking things but he doesn’t. It’s Carlos and Luke.

Also Ray doesn’t consider himself an overprotective dad but Julie and Luke are not allowed to be alone in a room with the door closed.

Neither are Alex and Willie technically but it’s harder to enforce it when they’re both ghosts.

Lmao all the kids follow the rules anyway because they love Ray and he’s not being unreasonable.

He helps Julie in her plot to get Carrie and Flynn together and also he helps Nick plan how to make a move on that cute boy on his lacrosse team.

Because Nick loves his dads but they’re disaster gays. Neither of those men can properly flirt. They fell in love because of a baseball rivalry and Nick doesn’t trust their advice.

Pride month rolls around and Julie makes sure to book a big gig the day before the parade so the boys will be visible and tangible.

Trevor’s on tour and can’t get away and Flynn’s parents are working and Nick’s are busy too so Ray finds himself escorting this whole little gaggle of various queer ducklings to pride.

Carlos isn’t quite sure what he is yet so he’s just got a rainbow flag painted on his cheek and a shirt that says I love my bi sister on it.

Julie’s all decked out in the bi colors, complete with ribbons braided into her hair and a flag to use as a cape. She made the tutu herself and it took her hours but it turned out really good.

Luke’s got a tank top with the pan colors and a trans flag as a cape and also yknow face paint of course.

Reggie browsed thrift shops everywhere until he found a flannel in the bi colors and he’s got that along with pink purple and blue laces in his combat boots and what Ray is really hoping is temporary dye and not spray paint in his hair.

Alex has a rainbow shirt that matches Willie’s and matching bracelets with Flynn. Also he painted rainbow hearts on his cheeks and put a lot of effort into them and they look really symmetrical.

Willie’s of course matching shirts with Alex and also he has sparkly rainbow socks and a flag to use as a cape.

Carrie’s got a whole ensemble in the lesbian colors complete with a pride wig and also matching necklaces with Flynn.

Flynn’s matching colors with Carrie but more in her style with of course matching jewelry with the people closest to her. She’s got friendship bracelets corresponding to Alex and Julie.

Nick’s got a pan tshirt and a fedora with a ribbon in pink yellow and blue plus face paint cause all of them have face paint. Nothing too crazy.

Meanwhile Ray’s got a bi bandanna and one of those shirts that’s like Free Dad Hugs.

Plus everyone did each other’s nails with varying degrees of success the night before and Julie did Ray’s so they turned out good.

Nick’s lacrosse buddies and the rest of Dirty Candi are around somewhere but they didn’t ride in the same car so they’re not that relevant.

They party. Celebrate being alive. Idk I’ve never gotten to go to pride.

And afterwards they all go back to the Molina house and the couch isn’t really big enough for all of them but it’s okay it’s not like they know how to sit correctly anyway.

They all kind of pile together and cuddle and watch movies until Flynn and Nick’s parents can come pick them up.

And Ray just looks around and realizes that

Sure only 2 of them are his biologically

And 3 of the others have good parent(s) who are actively a part of their lives

The remaining 4 are technically dead

But he has 9 children and he’s totally fine with that.

Cause he’s Ray Molina: best dad ever.

Victoria’s head is going to explode when she finds out that not only is the Molina house really haunted, but he’s adopted the ghosts.

#just had to write some feels in here #julie and ​the phantoms #julie and the himbos #jatp #netflixwewantjatps2 #netflixwewantjatp2 #ray molina #julie molina #carlos molina #flynn jatp #carrie wilson #nick danforth evans #luke patterson #reggie peters #alex mercer #willie jatp #victoria jatp #flarrie #juke #willex #violet’s headcanons #violet’s writing

[starkatana]

#BadassJasonPartyIsOver

Jason Todd x Reader

Summary:You and Jason just start dating and the rest of the family finds out.

Cute/fun/fluffy

Note:

Jason has not died and has not become Red Hood yet in this AU

Selina is your godmother. You are the child of Selina’s childhood friend. There is no family relationship between you and Jason even though you live in Wayne Manor. She calls you KitKat a nickname for your hero name: Black Cat.

Inspired by:

@capricornprince118‘s post

@telling-lies-co‘s post

Cass’s Text Section by @fanfic-suspicious-bluejay post

“So, do we tell your family?” you ask. “They’re a bunch of detectives, they can figure it out themselves. What’s going to change between us anyway?” You shrug, “I don’t know.”

The beginning of your relationship felt like the start of any other day. Nothing changed with how you two interacted with each other. You two still went to school with each other every day, you two didn’t treat each other any differently. The public displays of affection; hand-holding, arms around each other, and others didn’t happen until later.

You, Jason, and Roy still hung out as usual. Jason made a post of you three at the beach. Jason asked a stranger to take the picture. The sun was setting in the background, Jason was between you two, Roy had his arm around Jay with a peace sign at the camera, Jason had his arm around you and Roy with a big stupid grin, and you had both arms around Jason trying not to ruin your waffle cone. The picture was cute. Roy went off to grab some food while you sat on the railing of the pier eating your ice cream as Jason stood next to you making a post with the picture:

“Out with my best friend and girl. She really wanted to go to the boardwalk to see the sunset, I thought she was being cliché, but I can never say no to her.” He typed a heart at the end of the caption. Deleted it. Tried a kissy face. Deleted it. Re-read it again and just posted it as a caption.

“Jason.”

“Yeah?” he puts his phone away in his back pocket. Then placing his hand on your thigh, he looks up at you.

“Thanks for this.”

“No problem.” He gives you a soft smile. You smile in return, getting lost in his blue eyes. There was a new sparkle in his eyes. Looking at him, being with him, it made you happy.

You push your hair out of your eyes and your body leans into Jason’s. He rests his head against the front of your shoulder. You place your hand at the nape of his neck, gently running your fingers through his hair. He turns his head and takes a peek at you. You smile at him and stick your tongue out at him.

He lets out a light chuckle, lifting his head, you place a hand on his cheek and he leans into it, while you lean to the opposite side. Slowly your bodies lean into each other, giving in to your bodies’ the magnetism. Sharing your first kiss. Light and sweet, the first of many, forever.

Meanwhile, in Wayne Manor:

“GRAYSON!” Damian knocks open Dick’s door.

Dick turns around form his computer, “Damian?”

“Explain the meaning of this!” he holds out his phone on Jason’s post. “Are Y/n and Jason in a relationship?”

“I don’t think so. This seems like a pretty average post for them.”

Damian takes his phone and stares at it intently.

“Why?”

“Y/n can do so much better than Todd! I’m her voice of reason so she remembers.”

Dick laugh and ruffled Damian’s hair.

“I’m sure we’d know if they were dating or not, it can’t be that hard to figure out.”

Meanwhile, Selina saw the post and liked it.

“Bruce.”

“Hm?”

“Looks like our Little Wing and KitKat got together.”

“I thought they were together.”

“They’re official, darling.”

“Weren’t they before?”

“Oh, Bruce.” She chuckled, “you’re so lucky you’re cute.”

He winks at her, “And that’s why you like me.”

In the Batcave:

“Look at this.” Duke brought his phone over to Babs.

“Good they finally got together. About time,” she chuckled, “I had an idea when we went to the drive-in the other day, but I’m glad my suspicions are confirmed.”

“I give it about a week before everyone else figures out.”

“A week? I give it two, they are pros at keeping secrets.”

Duke laughed, “It’s a bet.”

After your first kiss, every action you two shared had so much more purpose and meaning behind it. It turned into Jason putting his arm around your waist. Where people began to give you curious looks. Then you two would hold hands when you walked together or even in each other’s company. That’s when people began to question if you two were official or not. One day, after school, before you left for dance practice he kissed you on the cheek in front of Tim and immediately went to the family group chat.

On your train ride to the studio, your phone was blowing up.

-Text conversation below-

Timbo: EXCUSE ME! CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME IF JASON AND Y/N ARE DATING?! DickeryDock: I thought they were acting closer than usual. Baby: Todd with Y/n?! Timbo: Y/n just left for dance and Jason kissed her cheek! Jaybird: Did you guys just figure it out? CassAFass: WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME?! Baby: This isn’t a joke?! The Best Bro: I had suspicions. Babs and I had a bet going on. Baby: HOW LONG?! WE’RE A FAMILY OF DETECTIVES AND IT TOOK US HOW LONG? Stephie: Wait, they weren’t dating this entire time? You: I’m proud of all of you. JayBird: 2-3 weeks? You guys suck.

It was hard to stifle your laughter on the train from the exchange in the family chat. Then you got a tag on Instagram from Tim. It was a blurry picture of what you think is Jason getting tackled by Damian with the caption: “EXCUSE ME! @notjtodd and @yourusername HAVE BEEN DATING FOR WEEKS AND HAVEN’T TOLD ANYONE! Y/N ARE YOU OKAY?! ARE YOU BEING FORCED TO DATE HIM?”

You almost miss your stop from how entranced you are with your phone. You like Tim’s post when you are tagged in another post by Babs. Where you and Jason are asleep together in the backseat of the car. It was from when you, Jason, Babs, and Dick were coming back from the drive-in movie together. Your head was on Jason’s shoulder and you two were holding hands. With the caption: “Went on a double date and never even realized they had made their relationship official. We all knew it was going to happen. #BadassJasonPartyIsOver”

Bab’s hashtag sent the Batfam into a flurry of posts.

Roy was first where it was just multiple pictures of you and Jason snuggling in different areas, the couch in the theatre in Wayne Manor, the back of the jeep when up at lookout point, the floor at a dance competition, and another in the hotel they just went on. Not only did all of the pictures feature you two snuggling but Roy was at the forefront of the picture holding up a peace sign with an exasperated look, your third wheel forever. His caption: “Hello, my name is Jason ‘I don’t cuddle’ and ‘We’re just friends’ Todd, I’d like to call bullshit. #BadassJasonPartyIsOver”

Dick’s picture was of you and Jason hugging at your first dance competition in Gotham. “Let’s never forget the time Jason made me turn the car around in the middle of a busy intersection, made me speed across town, and drive to a flower shop so he could buy @yourusername a bouquet of her favorite flowers so he can give them to her after her dance competition. #BadassJasonPartyIsOver”

Damian’s picture was of you “lecturing” Jason in the Wayne dance studio while practicing your dance routine together. “We all knew they were going to get together when Jason learned that dance routine just to impress @yourusername #BadassJasonPartyIsOver (I still think Y/n can do better. You better not fuck this up, Todd.)”

Cass had a slide show for her post. The pictures were of the family’s most recent winter vacation to Bora Bora. The first picture was of Jason sitting across the table from you assume Cass (who took the picture) with his face turned away. The second picture was you walking away with Babs and you were flipping off the camera with a smile. While the last picture was the chicken SpongeBob meme: “Jason: I just like her so much you know. Me – politely listening because I have heard this 100+ times-: I know just tell her that! @yourusername walks up, “Hey, guys.” Jason: “What the hell are you doing here, leave us alone!” Me: *smacks palm against forehead and immediately whips out my phone to take these pictures* Y/n: flips Jason off and with a smirk and walks off. Jason smirks back and waves her off. Me: “What the fuck was that?” Jason: “What? That’s how we show affection.” I had a red mark on my forehead for hours! #BadassJasonPartyIsOver”

The last post you saw was Jason’s. It was just a picture of you smiling at the camera with a hand outstretched towards Jason behind the camera. The caption was: “Shut up and let me be cute with my girlfriend.”

The post was small but it was enough. Now your family and everyone in Gotham knew, you and Jason are together.

#jason todd imagine #jason todd #jason todd x reader #jason todd x y/n #jason todd x you #jason todd x oc #dc jason todd x reader #bat brothers #batfam #batfamily imagine #dc jason todd #dc jason todd imagine #dc jason todd x y/n #dc jason todd x you #dc jason todd x oc #dc batfam #dc batman

[purplesurveys]

921

LOL was gone for a while to attempt doing that ridiculous 5000 survey myself again and I really thought I was going to breeze through it this time. 2 1/2 weeks and 2500 questions later, I need a fucking break. Need normal surveys plz.

What was the best thing to happen to you this week? Got to visit Gabie today! I brought Cooper as well so that she, her sisters, and their puppy Tofu could finally meet him. Fun day, but I am beat. The blackout yesterday also made me revisit painting, and that felt so good too.

Where do you put your keys when you get home? It always differs, idk why I never picked up a routine. Sometimes I set it on the dining table, other times on the decorative table in the living room, and other times I bring it up with me to my room.

Do you prefer hot coffee or iced coffee? I preferred hot (warm would be more accurate) for the longest time but once I went iced, I never wanted to go back. 

What's your phone background picture? I recently changed my lock screen to one of Audrey Hepburn. My home screen is still Hayley Williams.

If you could move to any country, what would it be? Anywhere with a clean and honest government sounds like heaven.

Have you ever seen a snake in the wild? No. Can’t say there’s a lot of them here in the city, and I’ve never seen any in my trip to provinces either.

What's your favourite movie from the 80s? Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.

Do you have any posters, paintings or other artwork on your walls? I have at least one of each of these, yes.

What would your dream wedding be like? Huge. I’d want a long guest list, expansive food choices, and acts that can provide good music throughout the evening. I never really throw parties for myself, so I would want at least my own wedding to be big.

Would you ever take a trip to space if given the chance? Yesssssss.

How do you cope with anxiety? I'm lucky to have found different outlets, so that said I usually choose from taking surveys, watching a favorite channel on YouTube, turning to my dogs, going to social media to see dumb memes, or taking a nap altogether. Of course there’ll always be those days where none of these work out and I’ll have to just cry through the anxiety attacks until they’re over.

Are you expecting any phone calls or emails? I’m expecting an email from my college, yes. I’m currently applying for civil service eligibility and they’re asking for documents that only the college can provide, so I emailed them a couple of days ago asking for assistance, and that’s considering we’re still under a lockdown and most offices are still under skeleton staffing.

What's the weather like in your part of the world right now? LOVELY. I actually wear oversized sweaters to bed now and I even managed to wear a thick denim jacket out today. The rainy weather has settled beautifully, and I’m perfectly fine with 24ºC-28ºC everyday.

What was the last takeout food you ate? My mom bought me and my siblings a chicken sandwich and chicken nuggets each from McDonald’s last week.

Who makes you laugh the most? Definitely someone from my college barkada. I can’t decide whether it’s Aya, Kate, JM, or Jum; they’re all equally hilarious as fuck.

Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you? See these questions are always weird to me because my country has its own naming customs; it’s basically a mix of American and Spanish customs. We have two first names (where Westerners would understand their second ‘first’ name to be their middle name) and our actual legal middle name is our mother’s maiden surname (which I think doesn’t apply at all in the Western world). So to answer this I’ll go with our own customs and say that no, I don’t know of anyone who has the same middle name as me. It’s not a very common surname anyway.

What did you have done the last time you saw a dentist? Had a tooth removed. I don’t think it was a wisdom tooth; it was just a tooth at the back of my mouth that had been in pretty bad shape for years but was only discovered at that time.

What does a successful relationship look like to you? I believe the formula is different for every couple. Like I value constant communication and checkups, but others might not feel the need to be clingy or update their significant others all the time.

What do you like to put on your baked potato? Don’t really have these a lot, but I remember when my mom used to make baked potatoes with bacon and cheese and those were unbelievably good.

What field of science interests you the most? Biology. <3 I’m sure I would’ve taken up medicine if I only wasn’t so bad in the rest of the sciences.

What's the closest shop or restaurant to your house? There aren’t any nearby shops since I live in a gated community, but once you get out of the village’s main gate, the first thing to the left is a McDonald’s. To the right is a small complex with a hair salon, burger place, music school, and one of those boujee stores that sell hype clothing.

Do you have any family that live in another country? So many relatives. We’re Filipinos, man. We migrate everyfuckingwhere. As far as I know I have family living in the US, Canada, Vietnam, Japan, China, Australia, and New Zealand.

What colour is your couch? Gray.

Do you know how to care for plants and keep them alive? Not at all. Every single plant that I’ve been given as a gift or party giveaway has died on me.

What was the most memorable birthday you've had? 18th was awesome. Cruise trip, hotel stay with friends, Tiendesitas + noodle date with Gab. How I got away with three separate celebrations without my parents saying anything about it I’ll never know.

Would you rather go to the beach or the mountains? Beach. The area where I live is mountainous as it is; as someone who’s always lived and studied in the city, a trip to the beach in the province never gets old.

What do you do for work? I don’t have any yet but I’m waiting for openings for our national agency for either history, or culture and the arts. My plans have shifted recently and I’m now eyeing to work for either instead of rotting away while underpaid at a corporate agency.

Have you ever been to see the circus? No. I wouldn’t be interested either; they all just seem so harsh and unethical. 

Are there any words that you hate or make you cringe? Sure.

What is the best house you've ever lived in? The one we live in today has been the most comfortable; but I also hold a lot of nostalgia for my dad’s parents’ house in Tondo because of how raw Manila life was there. Life wasn’t pretty, but it did feel real.

What was the first CD you ever bought? The first CD I actively wanted my parents to buy for me was probably the High School Musical soundtrack, heheh.

Do you look in the mirror before you leave the house? Yeah, always. Wanna make sure my shirt is tucked in properly (if it is), or that my jeans aren’t cuffed funny or whatever else.

What's the most unusual thing you've ever eaten? I’ve mentioned this before but it was the Indian dessert gulab jamun. Really did not expect the flavor that came in when it hit my mouth.

Have you ever seen someone quit their job in a dramatic way? I’ve never had a legit job, but when Jeuel quit the org a couple of years ago because of ~irreconcilable differences~ between him and us officers in the executive board it did feel a tad bit dramatic and passive-aggressive.

What movie reminds you of your childhood? Shrek 2 or The Game Plan.

Do you know why your parents named you what they did? The singer named Robyn was really big then and they ended up being fans of the name.

Do you have any bills that need to be paid? None of my own. My parents usually pay the family bills immediately, so I don’t think we have any pending payments for now.

What do you like to dip your fries in? Mayonnaise.

Is your house clean or messy right now? It’s always clean as my mom is extremely tidy.

What was the last email you received? It’s one of the job-hunting websites I’ve signed up for, giving me job alerts for new openings in my chosen industries.

Do you know someone who speaks without a filter? Yeah and I know people who do it responsibly and those who just come off as tactless.

Are you in any social groups? We call our college group the Daydrinkers, since our friendship began when we started constantly hanging out at nearby bars at like 2 PM, during our breaks lol. I used to be in a barkada in high school but Angela and I broke apart from that since we couldn’t deal with Athenna’s toxicity anymore, though I still keep in touch with most of them, like Chelsea and Kaira. Since then Angela and I have formed our own group consisting mostly of Angela’s friends from architecture and Hans’ friends from Ateneo.

How many hours of sleep did you get last night? Sigh, around 4. I don’t know why it was so few, but it also means that I’m currently drowsy as all hell at 9:03 PM. I will most likely turn in for bed after this.

What's your favourite kind of museum? Those that cover history, so museums that have artifacts and fossils and shit.

Do you believe in alternate universes? I like the idea, and I love literature that explores the idea of alternate realities, multiple universes, pocket universes, etc. Whether or not I believe they exist...idk. I don’t think about it that much in literal terms. < Yeah pretty much. Gaby Dunn wrote an amazing piece on multiverses and that was what got me to find comfort in the idea.

Whose house did you last visit? I was at Gabie’s place this afternoon. We had burritos, talked about career prospects, and puppy-sat our babies.

What games do you play on your smart phone? I turn to 1010 when I’m bored or anxious. I have like 30 other games but I never touch them lol, but I do keep them should the time be right to whip them out.

Have you ever been to Los Angeles? I have not.

What was the first concert you ever went to? Paramore, February 2013. I was a late bloomer; kids my age started going to concerts at least three years before that.

Do you know anyone who is colourblind? I don’t think so.

What's your favourite season and why? The wet season, because it’s colder and I hate the heat during the dry season.

Are you the youngest, middle or eldest child in your family? I’m the eldest.

If you had to make something for a potluck, what would you make? I recently watched this phenomenal recipe for 48-hour chocolate chip cookies that looked absolutely bonkers when they were done baking. I’d for sure give those a try for dessert. If that fails I’d just buy the food so that what I bring is more guaranteed to be good.

What kinds of decorations do you put up at Halloween? My family has never cared much for Halloween. It’s not even a legit holiday, so as much as I love Halloween I don’t think I would spend for decorations myself to decorate my own place. The only instance I imagine doing so would be if I have kids of my own who may want to get into the Halloween ~spirit.

How many tabs do you have open right now? In my current window, eight.

What's something you've been meaning to do but keep putting off? Taking another online course, just because it’s great to learn new things and earn free certifications while at it. I haven’t been doing a good job at being consistent with them, though.

What's the first thing you check on your phone at the start of the day? Facebook since it’s my primary social media now. Literally never thought this day would come.

Have you ever flown a kite? Yeah but it’s been a while.

Who was your favourite music artist when you were 16? This was the time I was slowly moving away from my punk phase and inching closer to Athenna’s music tastes, so I was into acts like Hozier, Banks, Daya, Twenty One Pilots, etc.

What are three things you usually always have in your fridge? Water, bread, eggs.

#survey #surveys

[shera-dnd]

Master of Cruelties

I just spent almost 3 hours writing this angsty mess (that is somehow 12k words long) and I feel like I fucked things up tremendously at some point, but I want to post it anyway

Disclaimer: Things will get spicy and things will get angsty and I’m not responsible if you start crying or if you hate me for this

onward with the pain

The Princesses of Power campaign had been rough for Catra and Adora. They normally used the game nights as date nights. A way of showing affection in a more elaborate way, through their characters, but all their characters have been showing in Etheria was aggression and pain. Now, at least, the first campaign was behind them and Catra could finally relax at home with her girlfriend.

She was standing by Adora’s bike, waiting for girlfriend. When Adora showed up she looked worried and Catra was immediately put on edge by that “Hey, Adora, is everything ok?” She stepped forward to hold Adora’s hand.

“I was gonna ask you the same thing” Catra was very confused by that statement and it must have shown in her face “It’s just that the way your character’s been acting reminds me a lot of...you know”

That was an odd way of phrasing it. What was her character doing that- Oh no “No no no” Catra sputtered “It’s nothing like that. That shit is all in the past now”

Adora didn’t seen relieved at all by this “It’s just that you acting out all that stuff just…”

“Brings back some bad memories. I get it” Catra pulled her closer “I thought we had put that shit behind for good, but if you want I can just talk to GM and change my character a bit”

“You don’t have to, but please talk to me if things like that start happening again for real” Adora gave her a quick kiss for reassurance “Now let’s go home”

~~~

Catra was enjoying kicking everyone’s ass with her beautiful commander, Alesha, as she usually did late night at the Moon Opal. She had just wiped the floor with some dumbass newcomer who underestimated her, when three of her friends approached her, looking very conspicuous.

Glimmer, Bow and Perfuma all looked like they wanted to talk to her, but didn’t know how to approach her, like she might bite their heads off if they got too close. As much as she enjoyed being feared by her peers, this was was getting tiresome so she just called out “What are you nerds doing?”

The way Glimmer jumped after hearing her voice made Catra giggle a bit, but that died out as she noticed how serious all of them looked “What? Am I scaring away the clientele again?”

“No no no” Bow said defensively.

“It’s just that you and Adora have been looking very tired lately” Perfuma continued. Oh god, could they get on with it already?

Glimmer was either really good at really Catra’s expression or her nerves just couldn’t handle more than 3 seconds of her death stare, for she simply blurted “We overheard you talking to Adora last week”

Catra just sighed and started shuffling Alesha “You guys up for some MTG?” she casually asked.

“We actually just wanted to know if things were ok with you two” Bow answered

“Things have been fantastic between me and Adora, but I know you dumbasses are gonna spend the next month torturing yourselves about all the vague shit we said” She put her deck down “So we can talk while we play”

Glimmer and Bow both looked unsure about playing a match with her involved, but Perfuma was almost jumpy, she wanted to be sure Catra was ok and she knew she could take her on “Do you wanna hear the story or not?” Catra spat out.

The two seemed to give in and Perfuma rushed for her spare decks. When everyone was set up Catra drew her seven cards and started talking “So do you remember the closet incident?”

Glimmer rolled her eyes “I try to forget it”

Catra just laughed at her reaction “What if I told you that was not the first time we did that? That was just the first time you caught us” She casually played out her turn as everyone just stared at her “Plains, sol ring, chrome mox imprinting dreadbore, Alesha, go”

“Don’t you just chrome mox me” Glimmer almost shouted and Angella shushed her from the other side of the store “What do you mean by that? How long had you been ending arguments by making out?”

“About a month” She said nonchalantly

“But you only knew each other for two months by then” Bow pointed out

“So what?” Catra shrugged “Did you really think it would take that long for us to start hate fucking each other?”

“You did what?!” this time the three of them shouted and they all got shushed by Angela

Catra sighed “Just let me tell the story, ok?”

~~~

Catra’s apartment was empty for the night as Lonnie, her roommate, was away for some music festival or whatever and this meant Catra could practice with her own favorite instrument: Adora’s screams. She did not care about her neighbors, she just wanted to have lots of angry sex and forget about all her problems.

She was just warming up when Adora just pushed her away “We can’t keep doing this” she said breathlessly.

“What? Your friend catches you in the act once and you chicken out?” Catra mocked.

“No” Adora said, in a more assertive tone this time “We can’t just keep ending every argument with sex and pretend that fixes anything”

“Who said anything about fixing shit?”

Adora was taken aback by that comment “Is this all you want?”

“Duh, that is all we’ve been doing since we met” Seriously, how was Adora not grasping that “We don’t make up, we make out. How did you expect anything else from this?”

Adora looked sad for a split second, before turning to cold anger “I’m done with this” She got up and started picking her stuff “If you ever want a real relationship you know where to find me”

Catra took a moment to process what had just happened. Did she just leave? That was not supposed to happen. Angry Adora was supposed to pin her down and have her way with her, not just get up and leave.

~~~

“Alesha brings back the entombed Master of Cruelties and that is GG, Bow” Catra announced.

Everyone looked stunned for a second. Perfuma seemed to be the first to recover her composure “I’m sorry, Catra, but that was simply awful of you”

“The way I treated Adora or killing Bow on turn two?” Catra asked, mostly just to rub it in that she killed Bow on turn two.

“Both” Bow exclaimed “Seriously, why  would you say any of that?”

“Oh, you know how I was back then. Always acting angry and pissing off the people around me so I could avoid dealing with my own emotions” She hopped her nonchalant act was holding up, because talking about all of this was bringing back some old feelings she would rather keep dead and buried.

“Was?” Glimmer asked jokingly, but one stare from Catra was enough for her to back down with the teasing “Sorry, but how exactly did you fix that?”

“I did something I swore I would never do” Catra straightened her posture “I apologized”

~~~

One week. Catra could not believe it took only one week for her to give in. Adora was just some random girl she met at the store, she should not be reacting like this. Who was she kidding? She could say that shit all she wanted, that wouldn’t change the truth and it would only make things harder. God damn her stupid pride.

She gesture for Adora to follow her outside the store and she waited. Every fiber of her body telling her to abort mission and run, but there was still something inside her that needed this to happen. She didn’t know what part of her she hated the most.

When Adora showed up she didn’t look angry or sad, she was impassive and Catra didn’t know how to deal with impassive. They took a quick and silent ride to Catra’s apartment and just sat there in her room. Catra trying to gather her courage and Adora waiting for her to say something.

“I’m sorry” The words felt like teeth being pulled out “I shouldn’t have said all that shit. You mean much more to me than all of that and I’ll try to make this shit work, ok?”

Adora remained impassive and Catra felt like her stare would burn her to a pile of shame and ash. Every second of silence was more excruciating than the last. Catra would say anything if it meant having Adora react in any way.

“Why?” Adora asked. Catra was dumbfounded for a moment. There were plenty of different whys for this particular situation “If you really didn’t mean it, why did you say any of that?”

“Because I’m a huge mess that doesn’t know how to deal with her own feelings” She didn’t even think, she just blurted out her answer “Is that what you want to hear?”

“No” Adora let the word hang in the air for a moment “I have to know why you feel like this. If we are gonna have a relationship we need to deal with that” Catra was divided between feeling relief for Adora finally showing some emotion or complete and utter despair at the idea of having to delve into that mess.

She started tapping her foot, feeling nervous as she tried to put all her feelings into words. After some thinking she sighed “You know that look on your face when you start talking about stuff you like? How you get all cheerful and you feel like you can forget about the world, because all that matters is that one silly hobby you wanna talk about?” Catra gave her a weak smile “That was probably why I started having a crush on you. Like, you were so happy that it was impossible not to be happy too and how do you not get a crush on a girl that looks like that when she talks about her hobbies. All you can think is ‘damn, if I got her to talk like that about me I would be the happiest girl alive’”

Catra chuckled “Well, I never got to be like that. Every time I talked about anything I cared I had to justify it, every time I said I liked something I had to prove it, every time I played a game I had to be the best at it. If I didn’t no one would take me seriously and I would just be another fake nerd girl. I’m only as good at magic as I am today, because the only way people would believe I wasn’t just lucky is if I never lost, and then I just move here, find the Moon Opal and find you and suddenly all the shit I went through was for nothing. You get to be nerdy, you get to like things and have fun with them, you get to be gay and no one fucking questions it and suddenly all the things I fucking love about you start making me feel worse and worse. Why do you get to do all that and I don’t? Why did so many people hate me and hurt me, but you get to just live your goddamn life? I wanted to hate you, to hurt you, but I just fucking can’t”

~~~

“Please, tell me the crying is because of the story” Catra sighed “I told you not to kill the Master of Cruelties, Glimmer, it’s not my fault if you got killed two turns later”

Oh god, all three of them were crying now “Catra, we love you so much” Bow moved to hug her and she quickly pushed him away, but Perfuma and Glimmer took advantage of her distraction and hugged her too. Great, now she was being crushed by three crying nerds. Why were her friends like this?

“Can we please get back to the game? I still have to kill Perfuma” They slowly returned to their sits, but she could’ve sworn she caught Castaspella snapping a picture before they let go of her.

Glimmer wiped away her tears “Ok, what did you guys do after all that?”

“We avoided each other for another week” Catra could see the ‘What?!’ coming, so she just raised her hand to stop them “We agreed that we needed to think about things and that spending time together would only make things worse. All things considered I would probably do exactly what my Princesses of Power character did and things would go to shit”

The three collectively let out a sigh of relief. Perfuma drew her next card and cheerfully announced “Merciless Eviction, targeting creatures” Catra cursed under her breath “And what did you do after that week?”

“Well, we met at my apartment again and we had an incredibly sappy moment talking about all the things we learned about ourselves and how we now trusted each other and then we did what any reasonable adult women would do in a moment like that and just fell asleep while hugging and crying” All of them moved to say something again “None of you can judge me and you know it” They all put their hands down and looked expectantly at her to continue “The next morning I taught her how to play magic, she sucked at it and we just laughed at that together. She looked so happy for losing that I just had to kiss her and we agreed that was our real first kiss”

Bow made a sound that could only be described as a pterodactyl screeching “You two are so adorable. I thought I couldn’t love the two of you any more than I already did”

Glimmer just nodded at that “I’m just surprised you managed to deal with all that in just two weeks”

Catra laughed at that, a lot “Oh no no no” she tried her best to regain her composure “We had to deal with ghosts of that shit for like a year. Why do you think I still refer to my childhood as my ‘vaguely tragic backstory’? But we haven’t had to deal with any of that for years now. That is why my P.o.P. character borrows so much from that drama, I just felt that shit was far enough in our past that we wouldn’t feel bad for using it on a character, but I guess I messed that up too”

“Well, I’m glad you two worked things out in the end, but speaking of losing at magic” Perfuma smiled at her “Sorin’s Vengeance triggering Sanguine Bond, I win”

“Oh fuck me”

#dnd!au #sad #real fucking sad #lots of swearing #catradora #I'm sorry for the random people from the catradora tag #random mtg references #that turn two kill is completely doable #look it up

[captaindaddykru]

The 100 Ask Game

i was tagged by @foreverandalwayscrysis even though i accidentally end up ignoring her for weeks bc i’ve migrated towards twitter. major dumb b*tch energy.

1. What Station on the Ark would you be from? probably argo station bc im from the south and im surrounded by farmers. theyre everywhere. get me out.

2. What would you get arrested for on the Ark? yelling at someone in command for being a basic bitch? fighting for equality? stealing meds for the poor?

3. Would you take off your wristband when you landed on the ground? if bellamy asked me to? y-yeah.

4. What would the necklace Finn would make for you look like? (Clarke: deer/Raven: a raven duh..) i’d love a turtle

5. If you could resurrect any MINOR character who would it be? ok if we dont count miles ezekiel shaw bc he was in more than two eps, definitely wells.

6. Create a squad of 5 characters to go on missions with. Who are they? bellamy, clarke, raven, shaw & harper. 

7. What Grounder Clan would you belong to? there is only one kru<3<3 anyway, floukru if it was my own decision.

8. What would your name be in Trigedasleng? sumn like maksim? or just maks? idk the whole language is confusing to me

9. Thoughts on Finn? Some people hate him, and others love him, so I’m curious. did everyone try the chicken? i thought the chicken was lovely. nah, all jokes aside -- what he did to raven was absolutely disgusting, but i kind of liked his storyline. how he went from being holier-than-thou to absolutely losing his damn mind over clarke to point he shoots up an entire village of innocent people? it was interesting. but he died when he shouldve.

10. Be honest. How willing would you have been to take the chip without knowing all the horrible things it does? im not gonna take shit. grass is always greener on the other side.

11. What character do you relate to most? definitely clarke. thats why i’m so hard on her.

12. What character do you like the least? echo. groan every time i see her face.

13. Describe your delinquent outfit. (Would you wear something like Murphy’s jacket with the spikey red shoulder patch or have a trademark like Jasper’s goggles? Be creative, yet practical) oh i love this one! uhm. probably like jeans, but ripped. black ankle boots. a shirt -- something with cleavage definitely, i think a regular tanktop. a dark jacket. idk. i would always have a gun/knife holster on my thigh i think. (ok i wanna look like lara croft). and i would enjoy if i could wear any shade of lipstick. i would want that to be my trademark. i find berries or sumn in the first ep.

14. Favorite type of mutant animal? that monster spying on lincoln and octavia in the woods. wonder what happened to that one.

15. What would your job be on the Ark? something medical for sure.

16. Would you have willingly pumped Ontari’s heart if Abby asked? yeah no biggie im (almost) a nurse. ive resucitated ppl before.

17. If Lexa wasn’t Heda, but she was still alive, then who would have made the best commander? dont kill me, but definitely luna. i know she didnt want it, but she wouldve been the best fit.

18. How would you act if you ate the hallucinogenic nuts like Jasper and Monty? probably cry all night or get super giggly. either or.

19. How would you have dealt with Charlotte’s crime? A more John Murphy approach or Bellamy Blake approach? i dont believe in the dead penalty in modern times, but like she was old enough to know killing people aint right. especially not for revenge on an innocent person. so i say the murphy method.

20. Who should have been the Chancellor, if anyone? they shouldnt have one person in charge, but if they have to, i’d say clarke. fuck them old ppl tbh.

21. Would you have been on Pike’s side like Bellamy or on Kane’s side? Or Clarke in Polis? i think bellamy went through some personal stuff that made him side with pike. if i were in the situation myself i think i would be digusted by pike’s xenophobia, but if they said there was an army outside waiting to kill us. maybe i would buy it? idk. depends on if i have all the info i guess.

22. Mount Weather had a lot of modern commodities. (example: Maya’s iPod) What is the one thing you would snatch while there? MUSIC PLAYER

23. What would your Grounder tattoos look like? Hairstyle? War paint? war paint on my lips!!! and i’d wing the shit out of my eyes too. as for a hairstyle probably like a lob, sides braided back. i dont like my hair up so mostly just keep it down. tattoos? idk if we’re all dying anyway, i’d say fuck it and do a whole sleeve of flowers.

24. Favorite quote? can i be a soft bellarke bitch for a sec and present clarke’s entire speech in 4x13 or ‘if i’m on that list, you’re on that list’. that or “who we are, and who we need to be to survive are very different things”

25. If all of the characters were in the Hunger Games, who would have the best shot at winning? clarke or murphy. team cockroach bitch. is this the time i plug my own thg fics? 

26. Least favorite ship? Favorite canon ship? Favorite non-canon ship? NOT INCLUDING CL OR BC OR BE

if i cant say bellarke its gonna be a short list. canon? zaven and memori. non-canon: sea mechanic, wellven, murphamy. 

27. A song that should be included in the next season? If there had to be another guest star like Shawn Mendes on the show, who would you want to make a cameo? BIG DREAM would be taylor swift but i dont think her current era fits with the show (plus its the cw....like they gonna give up half of their yearly budget for a three sec cameo?). i think aly & aj’s new music slaps and they’d fit in the whole new earth aesthetic. 

28. What would you do if you were stuck in the bunker with Murphy for all that time? write blarke fanfic with him probably. 

29. You’re an extra that gets killed off. How do you die? i’d wanna die protecting bellamy lmao. just a full on beheading or something.

30. A character you’d like to learn more about and get flashbacks of? literally no one. they’re a season too late. ok. maybe shaw. but thats over now i guess :/

31. A character you’d bang? bellamy, clarke, raven, shaw, emori, harper, monty, wells, diyoza. its a cw show. come on.

32. Would you stay in the Bunker? Go up to Space? Or live on your own in Eden?  if i was on the show i’d go up in space to prevent becho. if you have me the choice now, i’d stay in eden.

33. In the Bunker, would you follow Octavia? What would you do to pass the time underground?  i’d definitely not eat human meat. death it is i think.

34. What crime would you commit in the Bunker that lands you in the fighting pits? tryna murder blodreina for making me eat humans.

35. Up in Space, who would you bond with first? Who would be the most difficult for you to get along with? i’d bond with monty over biology i think. i would have a hard time getting a long with murphy or echo. i love the first as a character but irl i’d kick his ass. 

36. How long do you think you would last on Earth by yourself? if i have eden? as long as i have until the next apocalypse.

37. When the Eligius ship lands what do you do? try and blow them up while they sleep or sumn? or idk. if i was alone, maybe just better to make friends.

38. Favorite Eligius character? Least favorite? diyoza+, mccreary-.

39. Would you Spacewalk? i would probably? i’d be terrified but what a way to go?

40. Would you prefer to eat Windshield Bugs, Space Algae, or Bunker Meat? ive accidentally gotten bugs in my mouth before and like i said im not eating humans, so -- space algae.

41. Would you start a war for the last spot of green on earth? What would your solution be to avoid it? war didn’t help anyone. in the end, no one got to live on earth. i’d try and compromise i guess. or once they trust me, try and kill the eligius ppl in their sleep anyway.

42. Would you rather dig out flesh-eating worms or stick thumb drives into bullet holes? stick the thumb drives into bullet holes. i have fear of ‘alive’ things being in or on the human body. 

43. Are you willing to poison your sister for the Traitor Who You Love? What would you do to stop Octavia? for clarke? yeah. if she was as loco as octavia, definitely. or i’d kidnap her and say she killed me.

44. Would you go to sleep in cryo or stay awake like Marper? sleep, definitely.

45. Who are you waking up first to explore the new planet? bellamy, clarke, raven, emori, shaw, murphy, jordan and since somebody usually dies on these explorations, i’d allow echo to come.

#tag meme

[youreawizardharr]

About Me

Unusual Asks by Luxet

1. Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? 

I never tried spotify before, but I have installed Pandora. I didnt like the app, so I uninstalled it. I listen to soundcloud mostly.

2. Is your room messy or clean?

When I had a room, I kept it clean.

3. What color are your eyes?

It depends. Like, whenever I wore eyeliner and mascara, my eyes took on a green color. Naturally, my eyes are a shade of blue with hints of some kind of color I cant describe.

4. Do you like your name? why?

I love my first and middle names. If you truly want to my name, its Christa. I absolutely despise my surname. I get teased for it...

5. What is your relationship status? 

Uh...single.

6. Describe your personality in 3 words or less?

If you play Otome games, think of Yukimura (IkeSen) or Kyle Ash (IkeRev). I share some similarities with the two of them lmao 😗

7. What color hair do you have?

Brown? Or maybe more of a nutmeg?

8. What kind of car do you drive? color?

I'm old enough to drive, but I cant right now.

9. Where do you shop?

Anywhere, honestly.

10. How would you describe your style?

The only clothes I hate wearing is dresses, skirts, and overalls. I refuse to wear them.

11. Favorite social media account?

It used to be Facebook. However, I had personal issues with some people, so now I'm more active on Tumblr. I also have a Deviantart account but I never post there.

12. What size bed do you have? 

It used to be a twin size...

13. Any siblings?

Due to my past, I dont speak with my brother. I dont even talk to my biological father. As far as I'm concerned, he's just my sperm donor. I always saw my step father as my dad, so my half sister is my sister 😊

14. If you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?

I always imagined what it would be like being born and raised in another country.

Somewhere in Europe? Not sure.

15. Favorite snapchat filter? 

I dont use Snapchat nor Instagram...

16. Favorite makeup brand(s)

I rarely ever wear makeup.

17. How many times a week do you shower?

I'm poor, but I do take showers.

18. Favorite tv show?

I have too many to list lmao

19. Shoe size?

I believe its 6 or 7? I'm not sure...

20. How tall are you?

I'm 5'3" (I'm shorter than a shortcake).

21. Sandals or sneakers? 

Sneakers, hands down.

22. Do you go to the gym? 

I'm too lazy to go...

23. Describe your dream date

I never been on a date before, so I'm unsure.

24. How much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?

I'm broke as a door nail.

25. What color socks are you wearing? 

Blue, black and white ankle socks.

26. How many pillows do you sleep with?

I usually sleep with two.

27. Do you have a job? what do you do? 

I have things to do before getting one.

28. How many friends do you have? 

I only have internet friends. Sad, I know.

29. Whats the worst thing you have ever done? 

I...did some bad things.

30. Whats your favorite candle scent? 

It depends.

31. 3 favorite boy names?

I always wanted to name my kid Cameron, for some weird reason. Its a common name.

32. Favorite girl names

I uh...I'm not really sure?

33. Favorite actor? 

Johnny Deep, Adam Sandler, and Jim Carey.

34. Favorite actress? 

Uh I'm not sure.

35. Who is your celebrity crush?

When High School Muscial was a thing, I had a crush on Zack Efron. I was a young teenager back then, so don't judge me, okay?

36. Favorite movie? 

Pirates of the Caribbean, 10,000 B.C, and most historical related movies. I'm a nerd 👌

37. Do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? 

My favorite books are Knight in Shining Armor, Black Dagger Brotherhood, etc.

There is a Viking series I loved. I know one was called Lord of Hawkfell Island, another was called Lord of Raven's Peak, but I cant remember the others.

38. Money or brains? 

Money cant buy everything...

39. Do you have a nickname? what is it? 

Ketchup & Kikka

40. How many times have you been to the hospital?

I always went with my mom. I never got seen or anything. She has asthma, COPD, so yeah.

41. Top 10 favorite songs

If today was your last day - Nickelback

Savin Me - Nickelback

If everyone cared - Nickelback

Hero - Nickelback

Holding onto Heaven - Nickelback

When I'm Gone - Three Doors Down

Never too late -Threr Doors Down

And countless other songs 😂

42. Do you take any medications daily? 

Over the counter medications

43. What is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)

I have sensitive skin. I cant use certain brands of soap, and I have to be careful when outside, because I get sunburned easily.

44. What is your biggest fear? 

Dealing with people...

45. How many kids do you want? 

At least one. Or maybe two.

46. Whats your go to hair style?

I dont have a style...

47. What type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) 

Its a secret.

48. Who is your role model? 

I admire my mom.

49. What was the last compliment you received?

I dont take compliments well...

50. What was the last text you sent?

Uh I texted my sister last night.

51. How old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?

Uh...I knew at a young age.

52. What is your dream car? 

I dont have a dream car.

53. Opinion on smoking?

Its your body, your choice. But I prefer if people dont. My mom suffers from COPD and Asthma. She always contracts Pneumonia. The three of them clashes against eachother, and makes her really ill.

54. Do you go to college? 

I wanted to go, but cant afford it.

55. What is your dream job? 

One that doesnt require interacting with people...

56. Would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? 

I live in the country side. Well, kinda.

57. Do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? 

I used to, but they're cheap...

58. Do you have freckles? 

I do have moles on various places. I do have freckles on my shoulders, but nowhere else.

59. Do you smile for pictures?

I dont do selfies or anything else...

60. How many pictures do you have on your phone? 

I have two screenshots of Kyle Ash lmao

61. Have you ever peed in the woods? 

Yeah, when I went camping as a kid.

62. Do you still watch cartoons? 

I'm too old for cartoons...

63. Do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds?

I like my mom's chicken nuggets.

64. Favorite dipping sauce? 

Hot sauce, Salsa, sometimes ketchup.

65. What do you wear to bed? 

Uh baggy clothes?

66. Have you ever won a spelling bee?

I hate presentations...

 67. What are your hobbies?

Writing

68. Do you draw? 

I used to draw, but I suck at it

69. Do you play an instrument?

I suck at playing instruments.

70. What was the last concert you saw? 

Never been to one.

71. Tea or coffee?

I drink both, but more so tea.

72. Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?

Dunkin Donuts

73. Do you want to get married?

Someday, maybe.

74. What is your crush’s first and last initial?

I never dated anyone before...

75. Are you going to change your last name when you get married? 

Definitely, because I despise my last name.

76. What color looks best on you? 

I'm not one to be fashionable lmao

77. Do you miss anyone right now? 

I miss my aunt. She died years ago...

78. Do you sleep with your door open or closed?

I always slept with my door closed...

79. Do you believe in ghosts?

I did experience paranormal stuff years ago.

80. What is your biggest pet peeve? 

Being ignored, being called a liar, etc, etc...

81. Last person you called?

My sister.

82. Favorite ice cream flavor? 

Uh gelato, hands down.

83. Regular oreos or golden oreos? 

Both of them.

84. Chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? 

Chocolate.

85. What shirt are you wearing? 

Just a plain, ole t-shirt.

86. What is your phone background?

Just something random.

87. Are you outgoing or shy?

Awkward af ._.

88. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

Uh I enjoy personal space.

89. Do you like your neighbors? 

I dont know them, so I cant say?

90. Do you wash your face? at night? in the morning?

Both.

91. Have you ever been high? 

Um, no.

92. Have you ever been drunk? 

Yeah, several times.

93. Last thing you ate? 

Baby lima beans.

94. Favorite lyrics right now?

"No one can be me anyway."

95. Summer or winter? 

Winter. I hate hot weather.

96. Day or night? 

I'm a night owl, so I enjoy nighttime.

97. Dark, milk, or white chocolate? 

I love me some chocolate.

98. Favorite month? 

July, my birthday month

99. What is your zodiac sign

Cancer

 100. Who was the last person you cried in front of? 

My mom.

#personal #about me post #ask me #disclaimer

[theadventuresofhelena]

Oh hello

Hello hello from Chiang Mai, Thailand!

It’s been a few years since I’ve written on this thing so I’ll do my best to sum up the last couple of years. I finished SAS in April of 2017, it was probably the most bittersweet thing I will ever experience emotionally. I cannot begin to explain to anyone how SAS changed my life and my views of the world in the most magical way possible. It was a dream and one I will hold on to for the rest of my life. 

Once I was back in Alaska I completed my degree (only had about 1 year left of classes coming back which I did not realize until my credits went through from SAS) in the summer of 2018. So once I officially graduated, I got to have the best semester at sea reunion with Molly, Allie, and Allison in DC in August and then I came back home for a couple of days and then left on a roadtrip with my friend Michaela. We drove from Anchorage to Banff, Canada, then into Idaho, Washington, Oregon, California, Arizona, Utah, Colorado, and Texas. I visited my dad for a little bit which was wonderful, and then I flew back to Alaska. So -- I’m going to jump back in time for a second here but I promise it’s relevant -- back in 2015, I was researching ways of being able to travel around the world while also having a job. I absolutely loved going on my 3 month backpacking trips, but I didn’t like the cycle of saving up money, going on an amazing trip for a few months, and then coming back broke and then saving up money, then leaving on another trip, coming back broke, etc. So I wanted to see if the wonderful world of the internet could give me any ideas as to how to make this happen. This is how I stumbled upon teaching English as a second language. I felt this gave me the best option of being able to travel while making a decent amount of money, where I can invest what I save, still be able to pay for living expenses, be completely immerse in a different country, while also traveling to other countries! It just seemed like a complete win-win. 

So, here I am. From mid October 2018 to mid February 2019, I saved up my money again (lol it’s different this time around I promise) and I am now in Chiang Mai, getting ready to begin my certification for teaching English. It’s a 4 week course and the first two weeks are studying lesson plans, specific ways of teaching a foreign language, etc. and the last two weeks we will be in the classroom putting what we have learned into practice! I’m incredibly excited and, of course, a little nervous. But I’m sure everything is going to be great. I’ll keep you guys posted on everything, but in the meantime I’ll update you with what’s happened so far.

I left from Houston, Texas after visiting with my dad for a week, and flew directly to Beijing, China! The flight was 15 hours, so that was pretty brutal, but luckily there were plenty of movies that I could watch so I watched 4 movies, ate some food, and slept, and soon enough we were landing in Beijing. I got a 24 hour visa (I had a 12 hour layover) so I could go into the city and explore Tiananmen Square and the Forbidden City. I absolutely loved it! I booked a hostel so I could take a nap since I arrived at 5am, and the hostel was in a really cute area too, so it was wonderful walking around Beijing for a few hours. PS - the metro is absolutely amazing and so easy to navigate!! I was pleasantly surprised lol

Another 5 hour and 20 minute flight later and I had officially arrived in Chiang Mai. My bag was one of the first to come out so I hopped in a taxi and arrived at my hostel about 10 minutes later. I stayed at a hostel called Hug Hostel Rooftop and it was literally one of my favorite hostels I have ever stayed in. I met so many people and the rooftop was amazing and their breakfast was so yummy (and not horribly priced either). So day one I ended up meeting a guy named Mak from Lisbon, Portugal in the morning, he had just arrived so we decided to walk around and tour the temples together. He had met some other people during his travels a couple of weeks prior and it turned out they were also in Chiang Mai so we met up with them (Miguel and Leonine) for lunch and walked into more temples (there are 300 temples here, so there is not shortage of them!). Miguel and Leonine were leaving for Pai, so we said bye to them and continued walking around finding temples and trying smoothies. I have been averaging about 11 miles per day here and on this day I chose to wear flip flops- bad move on my part, so by the end of this day my right foot was swollen and I could barely walk on it. We got back to the hostel and went to the rooftop for some beer and to watch the sunset. I took a shower and laid down with my foot elevated for basically the next 10 hours lol, my wild friday night. But the upside is that a group of 3 Brits came into the room while I was resting my foot and they were absolutely hilarious. Their names were James, Hannah, and Lee, they had to get up early the next day so they went to bed early and I eventually passed out as well.

Day two- Mak and I got breakfast from the hostel which was absolutely delicious i nearly died, I wish I had gotten it the previous morning! Afterwards we wandered through the streets, people watching, went to the museum, peeked into shops, and decided to get lunch at a place known for their Khao Soi. We got there at the perfect time, there was no line and space available to sit and eat. I got the chicken Khao Soi, now you all should know I am very sensitive to spicy food and this dish is spicy so I was a little weary of it, but absolutely was going to eat since I’m in Thailand! Long story short, I ended up LOVING it. My mouth was on fire, but the flavors were absolutely amazing. Mak and I ended up meeting a couple, Ashley and Jordan, from Dallas, Texas and we had really good conversation with them while all of us enjoyed our Khao Soi. We said our goodbyes and made our way back to the hostel because I had to check out and then check into my hotel. 

Mak ended up joining me to check in to the hotel and afterwards we walked around that area and ended up finding a chinatown! We walked through it and there were so many shops and a huge market with meat, fruit, veggies, flowers, nuts, basically anything you could possibly want! It was so much fun. We decided to go to a temple called Wat Buppharam, it was Mak’s idea so I had no idea what to expect, and ~holy moly~ google it right now! It is absolutely stunning! I highly recommend going to this specific temple if you are ever in Chiang Mai. Afterwards, we decided to take a Grab back (Thailand’s version of Uber) and have one more beer and watch the sunset on the rooftop! Then we said our goodbyes and I headed back to the hotel. 

My first night at the hotel wasn’t the best (leaking AC, ants in the bathroom, and potential rat or other animal in the walls/floors), so I ended up switching rooms and now I love my room! So anyways, day three consisted of me switching rooms and then I stopped by the school to say hello and meet everyone and get a tour of the school. It’s really nice and the people who work there are super friendly so that was comforting! As I walked back I stopped to get some food at a little market and chose what looked like red curry and hoped for the best! It was delicious, it was a red curry with pork, squash, and peppers. It was spicy, but really good! Once I got back to my hotel I ended up taking a nap (didn’t get a good amount of sleep last night lol), then I went to a cute cafe called the Hideout which is only like a 5 minute walk from my hotel for lunch and then went back to my room to finish up the last of the pre-training papers I had to do. My new room has a patio which I’m obsessed with, so I worked on that outside and then went to the Sunday night market for dinner and just to look around. My right foot is still struggling, but I’m hoping it will heal up soon since I won’t be walking as much once my program starts. Anywho, I just got out of the shower and am headed to bed! I’ll write and add photos soon,

xx

[dorevenge]

where ignorance is bliss - chapter 6: love an ember

SUMMARY: Maria and Howard go to visit her parents. It's Christmas at the Carbonells, and she forgot to tell them she got married. [AO3 LINK]

CHAPTERS: 1 2 3 4 5 [6] 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 ☆

December 16, 1959 – Bronx, New York City, Peggy’s Apartment

“You married Howard Stark? I didn’t even know you knew Howard Stark!” Peggy says when I show her the ring on my finger. I went to visit her after she phoned me to ask for help moving her out of the house she and Daniel shared to a small apartment closer to the S.H.I.E.LD. headquarters. Her eyes are still bright with tears, she was crying when she opened the door, but she didn’t want to talk about anything less than positive. “When did you two meet?”

“A month ago.”

Peggy sits her drink down. “Maria-”

“Peggy, please. I’m sure I’ll get a lecture from my mother once I tell her, and I don’t want one from my best friend, as well. Please try to be happy for me.”

Her face softens. “I don’t have to try. I am happy for you. It’s just… Daniel and I rushed into things, and look at where we are now.” She gestures to a thick folder in the coffee table in front of her. “He returned the signed divorce papers to me this morning. I don’t want anyone else to go through this. I just want you to be careful.” The tears slowly creep out of the corners of her eyes.

“I’m sorry, Peggy. I should have been here for you. And I’m sorry I didn’t call to tell you we were getting married. We’ll have a party and invite everyone, and we’ll have a proper wedding. I want you there.”

“Howard and I will have to get dinner soon so I can hear his side. I’ve known him for a long time, Maria, and I’ve seen all his shady angles and dirty secrets. I know you want him to be different, but I’m not convinced that he can change overnight.”

There is truth to Peggy’s words. Whenever you hear Howard Stark’s name, your mind automatically adds playboy. Despite being an inventor, his face graces countless tabloids. He’ll never settle down, no woman will ever be good enough for him, he’s never slept with the same woman twice. While he whirled me around the world, I didn’t forget his reputation, but I wanted to get to know him on my own. And the Howard I came to know and love – and marry – was nothing like that.

“Maybe he needed a reason to change.” I realize it as I say it, unable to stop the words in my mouth. Peggy slightly frowns at my naivety, how foolish and young I must sound to her, marrying a man 19 years my elder after knowing him for only two weeks.

“For your sake, I hope so.”

December 22, 1959 – Southampton, New York City, Maria’s Parents’ House

In the whirlwind of moving into Howard’s mansion in Manhattan (I suppose it’s our mansion in Manhattan now), I’d forgotten to tell my mother I was married.

Christmas at the Carbonells is more than just one day: it’s three days of drinking, eating, and gossiping. I didn’t know whether to introduce Howard as my husband or not to my family, and I was trying to prepare him best I could before we arrived.

“They’re Catholic, but not really Catholic, except Grandma Rosa, who is very Catholic. My aunts Caroline and Marisol might try to flirt with you, but they’re easily distracted. Their husbands, George and Bill, might get jealous, though, especially if they drink too much. My cousin Morgan is my favorite, but I don’t know if he’ll be there. My mother, God, I don’t even know where to start with her.”

“Maria,” Howard says from the driver’s seat, pulling up at the address I gave him and rolling to a stop. He takes my hand and kisses my knuckles. “I’m not worried at all. If you’re with me, doll, I can take on the world.”

We knock on the front door together, hand in hand, and I’m considerably more nervous than Howard, despite the Carbonells being my family.

My cousin Morgan opens the door, his freckled face stretched into laugher. “Maria, you’re here! Come in quickly, or you’ll miss it. Cousin Bethany is pregnant even though her husband died half a year ago, and the aunts are just about to figure out that the math doesn’t add up.” Morgan drags the two of us inside, and we’re met by a typical sight in our household.

Caroline and Marisol are standing, yelling at Bethany, Grandma Rosa holding her rosary, praying in the rocking chair, George and Bill drinking their beers in the corner. Howard’s grip on my hand tightens as a pillow is launched at Bethany from Marisol, and Caroline hollers, “Not at the baby!” in response. I ask in Morgan’s ear where my parents are, and he points to the kitchen before swooping in to take the lamp from Marisol’s grasp.

“How many more days of Christmas? I can’t stand this circus for much longer.” my mother asks my father, hiding in the kitchen, an almost empty glass of wine in her hand. She turns towards me when we walk in. “Maria. You’re late.”

“I’m sorry, ma’am, that’d be my fault,” Howard says.

My father steps forward, hand extended. “Stanley Carbonell.”

“Howard.” Just Howard.

“Jacqueline,” my mother introduces herself next, her frown outlined in red lipstick, and accepts Howard’s handshake. “And who are you to my daughter, Mr. Howard?”

I freeze, the words not able to make it past my lips, when Morgan bursts through the door. “You just missed it! Marisol asked who the husband is, and Beth confessed it was her husband’s brother!” He’s gone as soon as he entered, and the silence falls in the kitchen again. Jacqueline resumes her piercing stare.

I steel myself before saying, “He is my husband.”

My mother sets down her glass and takes a deep breath in through her nose. “Are you pregnant?”

“No.”

“Is he Catholic?”

“No.”

“Is he baptized?”

I turn to Howard, and he responds, “Yes, ma’am.”

“Thank God.” Mother pours herself another glass and rolls her eyes far back into her head. “You sure you’re not pregnant?”

“Yes, mother, I’m sure.”

“He treats you better than that Stane fellow?”

“Yes, mother.”

She drains the glass, sets it down loudly, says “I never liked him much, anyway,” and leaves the kitchen, muttering under her breath.

My father fumbles with his tie. “Howard, huh? You look familiar. Anyone ever mistake you for a movie star, or a politician or something?”

“All the time, sir,” Howard smiles. “Just one of those faces.”

In the middle of a rambunctious, rowdy dinner, the phone rings. Morgan answers and yells that it’s for me.

“Hello?”

“Maria! You’re with Howard, right? At your parents’?”

“Peggy! Yes, we are. How-”

“I founded S.H.I.E.LD., don’t worry about know I know. Don’t go home.”

“Don’t go home?”

“We got a hint that there was going to be hit on Howard’s place tonight, and it turned out to be true. Your house is swarming with agents,” Peggy warns.

“Whose agents?”

“We don’t know yet. Stay there until I call you again. Oh, and Happy Christmas, Mrs. Stark.”

Peggy hangs up before she can hear me say, “thank you.”

My heart falls heavy to the bottom of my stomach, sinking deeper and deeper with each step back to the table. I sit next to Howard, a pained smile on my face. He leans in to kiss me and whispers, “What’s wrong?”

I return the kiss, “Tell you later,” and focus on the plate in front of me. The world starts to spin, and my grip on the edge of the table seems to be the only thing holding me there. Throughout the meal, my family engages me in conversation, and I only half-heartedly reply. My palms grow sweaty. I’m not good at keeping secrets, and there’s no way no one is noticing my fidgeting.

“Tell me what’s eating you, doll. Meet me in the bathroom in a couple minutes.” Howard stands and excuses himself, folding the napkin on his lap and setting it next to his plate before leaving.

The minutes feel like hours as I push around my mashed potatoes and chicken before joining him.

“Peggy called,” I tell him once the door behind him is closed. “She says agents are all over the house.”

“Who are they?”

“She’ll call back with an update, but S.H.I.E.L.D. is on top of it.”

“So we stay put?” he asks.

“We stay put.”

We survive the night with my family, anxiously waiting for Peggy’s call. I jump every time the phone rings, going through extended family members wishing us a Merry Christmas. Mother tells everyone I had up and married a stranger, and we field complaints and questions left and right, ‘til we finally hear a welcome English accent.

“The house is clear. It’s safe for you two to come home, but…”

“But what, Peg?” Howard asks, leaning in to share the phone with me.

“You’ll want to come here and tell us what’s missing.”

“Again? After last time, I make sure my inventions would never be stolen again.”

“Not your inventions,” Peggy says, “It looks like they only went through the filing cabinet in your office. In and out, and that’s all they touched..”

The color drains from Howard’s face.

“Howard, what is it?” I ask. “What’s in the cabinet?”

“It’s worse than my inventions; it’s the blueprints for the shit I never made. Shit that should never be made. And my designs, they’re flawless. Decades of work, with no duplicates made, for that very reason, to keep them out of anyone else’s hands but my own. Maria…” Howard looks at his feet, embarrassed. “I don’t know what I’ve gotten you into.”

#where ignorance is bliss #wiib reading #peggy carter #agents of s.h.i.e.l.d #agents of shield #marvel #fanfiction #canary writes a fanfiction

[lobsters-on-their-heads]

A Galaxy of Women, Chap. 3

This is my chapter from the on-going series put together by @afrenchclone and @salixsericea.  The whole series can be found here on AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/11836590

“Delphine and Cosima travel the world in search of clones to cure, these are their adventures.”

Note:

I have not read the Classified Clone Reports that was recently published, so some of this may contradict what's presented there.

As always, feedback is appreciated.  

When she reached the intersection where the paved road met the gravel one, Cosima stopped.  She let the gallon jugs of water fall to the ground and rolled her arms around in their sockets a bit.  Overhead, a capuchin monkey scampered along a power line, it's tail wrapped around the wire above it.  And of course, the clouds were gathering again.  It was a wonder that Costa Rica even had weather reporters, she thought; the weather here was like clockwork – after lunch it rained, non-stop, for the rest of the day, letting up some time around midnight.

“Shit,” she muttered.  

Before moving on, she looked both ways down the gravel road.  They'd been in Cahuita, a tiny tourist town on the Caribbean coast, for three days, and every time Cosima had left the hotel on her own, she had gotten lost on the way back.  Out of habit, she checked her phone, but the GPS was useless out here. Sighing, she picked the jugs of water back up and struck left.  It seemed the more familiar view, at least.  

The sky opened up less than five minutes later, drenching Cosima to the bone and blinding her. “Lasik,” she muttered.  “When we get back, I'm getting fucking Lasik.”  

She wouldn't, she knew.  She hated putting contacts in her eyes, and lasers were a thousand times worse, but when the rain coated her glasses, she'd left the umbrella in the hotel again, and her hands were full, Lasik sounded really, really appealing.  

Eventually, Cosima set the jugs down again and took off her glasses with a huff.  It was actually easier to see without them, for once.  With them on, all she saw were sheets of water, but without them, she could make out shades of light and dark, and she could tell if a building was in front of her or not.  She tucked them into her bag, careful to shield them from the cans of chicken broth and packs of tortillas.

As she walked on, she turned her thoughts to their job here.  They had spent the past few weeks traveling Latin America, armed with the cure for the clone disease, a list of names, decent Spanish and terrible Portuguese, and an ATM card for a bank account with almost a million dollars in it. Every time she swiped that card at an ATM or an airport, Cosima said a silent “Thank you,” to Rachel for the funds.  And every time she looked at the list of 274 names, she wondered how many names were missing, removed before Cosima even knew she was a clone herself.  So far, she and Delphine had cured or vaccinated three Ledas outside of their little Clone Club in North America.  Camila was the first, followed by two in Brazil.  Eventually it should have been fourteen in Brazil, but one died just before their arrival in the country, and one, Erika Maria Santos, was said to be here, in or near Cahuita, visiting friends.  Cosima and Delphine would have stayed in Brazil longer, and looked for Erika Maria later, but her family claimed she was coughing up blood and had suffered at least one seizure. Apparently, she was also in deep denial about her condition.  They desperately needed to treat her, but after three days in Cahuita, there was still no sign of her.  

Lost in thought, Cosima sloshed through ankle-deep water along the side of the road until her feet went down a foot too far, propelling her farther down until the water reached her chest.  The jugs of water hit the ground, her hands still gripping the handles, and splashed brown water into her face.  In the moment, her first thought was the piles of garbage and horse manure that sat in every ditch around the country, and now she was in a ditch soaking in all of that.  At least her mouth was closed.  She couldn't dwell long on that, though, as the water pushed her forward and it took all her effort to stay upright.  

“Oh shit shit shit shit...”  She dug her hands into the loose gravel of the roadway, but it fell away with every attempt to pull herself up. A small voice in her head told her that this was how people died in floods.

A truck drove by and splashed more water at her, then stopped a moment later.  A man ran over to her and grabbed her by the wrists, pulling her out of the ditch.  She fell gracelessly against his legs when she tried to right herself, and he said things in Spanish she didn't understand.  Shaking, dizzy, and functionally blind, she let him lead her, with repeated requests of “Venga, venga...” to the pickup stopped close by.  He opened the passenger door for her and handed her the jugs of water.  Inside the extended cab, another passenger shifted aside to let her in.  Once she was seated and the door was closed, Cosima realized she was dripping all over the place. “Oh, fuck, I'm so sorry,” she said.  “This will ruin your upholstery.”

The woman beside her laughed and handed her a dry handkerchief.  In a soft Scottish accent, she said, “I don't think that's our greatest concern right now, love.”

English! In different circumstances, Cosima would have hated herself for the joy that bloomed at hearing her own language.  She took the handkerchief with a smile and dabbed her eyes with it, then fished her glasses from her bag and dried them off.  While she did, the driver climbed back in and spoke softly with the passenger.  

“Thank you so, so much for helping me out,” she said.  Realizing the man might not speak English like his passenger did, she added, “Muchas gracias.  Muchas, muchas gracias,” and hoped she had the gender agreement right.  At the same time, she realized she was sitting in a strange vehicle with strange people who could take her anywhere.  At least the door was unlocked.

“De nada. No worries,” the passenger said.  Cosima got the distinct impression that they were both waiting for her, so she pushed her glasses on and turned to thank them again before stepping back out into the rain and getting back to the hotel.  Once she could see again, though, she froze.  Sitting in the pickup next to her, with green streaks in her hair and wire-rim glasses, was a Leda clone.  

“Holy shit,” Cosima whispered.  

The passenger held out her hand with a sigh.  “I know.  I'm Rebecca.  Can we give you a lift somewhere?  Maybe have a chat?”

Only once on their trip so far had Cosima come face-to-face with another clone, also completely by accident.  That time, after a sleepless night on a bus from Brasilia to Belo Horizonte, Cosima stumbled into the clinic waiting room without checking first that their patient was gone. That clone, Adriana Grael, looked Cosima right in the eye, smiled politely, said something in Portuguese, and went on her way without a second glance while Cosima gaped at her and wondered what to say. This clone, this Scottish Rebecca in the pickup truck, was a different matter entirely.

“Sure,” Cosima said.  “I'm Cosima.  Nice to meet you.”

The driver nodded and tapped Rebecca on the shoulder as he adjusted his seat.  “Co-si-ma,” he repeated, then leaned past Rebecca to shake Cosima's hand and introduce himself as Eduardo.  “Te lo dije,” he told Rebecca.  “No es Julia.”

“Sí, lo veo,” Rebecca said.  “So, Cosima, where can we take you?”

Cosima gave her the name of the hotel, and Eduardo drove back in the direction Cosima had come from.  Figures, Cosima thought.  I was going the wrong way anyway.  Again.

Rebecca watched her during the ten minute drive with the sort of calm, confident attention that Cosima recognized.  She'd had the same look on her own face when she first met Alison and, later, Sarah.  It was the look Beth had when she showed up at Cosima's favorite coffee shop in Berkeley, in the weirdest not-date Cosima'd ever had.  Cosima turned to face Rebecca in the cab and returned the gaze.  Rebecca was the only other clone Cosima'd seen with glasses, and it fascinated her that Rebecca chose such different frames for hers than Cosima did.  

“Who's Julia?” Cosima asked.  One of the Brazilian still on their list was named Julia, but she wasn't ready to give up that information just yet.

“Julia Luiz,” Rebecca said, and Cosima's eyebrows shot up.  “She's from Brazil.  She also looks just like you – like us.  We thought you might be her.  She, uh, doesn't have dreadlocks, though.  Or glasses, but you weren't wearing those when we saw you back there.”

“Right. So you are aware, then.”

“Aware?”

Cosima held herself back from using the word clone.  “You're aware that there's others who look just like us.  You've met some?”

Rebecca took a deep breath.  “Yeah.  Haven't met you before, though.”

“Ditto. Obvs.”

Eduardo parked the truck in front of the hotel.  Cosima needed to talk to Rebecca a lot more, but she also needed to get inside, and now was not a good time to invite a stranger into the room.  Rebecca, fortunately, was on the same page.  She pointed to the little restaurant attached to the hotel.  “Do want to get breakfast together tomorrow?  We can talk more then, I think.”

“Yeah. Yeah, that sounds great.  Perfect.  Um, if you don't mind telling me, what's your last name?”

“Twell.” She reached out her hand for another shake.  “Dr. Rebecca Twell. From Edinburgh, but I live in Glasgow.  Here on vacation.”  She gave a grin that showed slightly overlapping front teeth, an unusual feature for a Leda, but maybe she'd just never had braces.

“Vacation, yeah.  When you're not pulling your identicals out of ditches, you mean?”

They both smiled, and Rebecca nodded.  “Well, you're the first I've done that with, and hopefully you'll be the last.  Breakfast tomorrow at 8?”

“Sounds good.  Thanks again.  Gracias, Eduardo.”

As Cosima squelched her way towards the room, she ran over the details she knew of Rebecca so far.  A doctor of some kind, with glasses and nontraditional hair, who was at least somewhat self-aware and in contact with another Leda.  Probably more than one other Leda, judging by how calm she was when Cosima showed up.  There were enough similiarities to make Cosima very interested indeed, and she wondered how many other similarities she would uncover.  Hopefully not too many; enough people flirted with Delphine as it was.  

Inside the room, she put those little worries aside.  Delphine was more or less the same as she'd been when Cosima left, sprawled out on her stomach on top of the bedsheets, wearing her little gray gym shorts and nothing else.  The trashcan sitting next to the bed was empty, meaning she had probably slept the entire time Cosima was gone.  She only moved when Cosima removed her sandals and dropped them by the door.

“You forgot your umbrella,” Delphine said, her voice muffled by the pillow.  

“That was one thing that happened, yes.”  She peeled off her clothes and dropped them into the garbage bag they were using as a laundry bag. They would need to be washed ASAP, but first, she needed to wash herself.  “I'll tell you more after I shower.”

When she emerged twenty minutes later, after scrubbing every surface of her body and hair but avoiding the temptation to use bleach on her skin, Cosima put on her pajama pants and a T-shirt.  Delphine was on her back now, and her ribs were more obvious and her skin more pale than Cosima would've liked them to be.  Cosima got a jug of water and refilled the glass on the bedside table, then opened a can of chicken broth. Only then did she realize that their room lacked a microwave.  Seeing Cosima look around and then drop her shoulders in disappointment, Delphine reached over and rubbed her knee.  

“It's okay.  It doesn't have to be hot.”

“Kind of nasty if it's room temp, though, isn't it?”

Delphine managed to shrug and pull herself into a sitting position.  “It's okay.  Really.”

Cosima poured some of the broth into a plastic bowl and got a spoon for her, then opened a pack of tortillas and settled onto the bed beside her girlfriend.  She was tempted to check her temperature again, but she had checked a few hours ago, and Delphine was looking a little better, so she didn't.  She knew exactly how annoying it was to be treated like an invalid.  Instead, she rested her hand on Delphine's thigh and watched her take little sips of chicken broth.  “You did have to wait until we were in, like, the smallest town ever to get food poisoining, didn't you?”

“It's not food poisoning.”

“Right.” Two days earlier, the nurse at the local clinic proclaimed Delphine to be suffering from food poisoning, overriding Delphine's own claims that she had gotten sick from the local water.  The nurse told her to rest and gave her an antibiotic suppository that Delphine absolutely refused to let Cosima administer.  

“You know it's not the first time I've put something in your ass,” Cosima had told her, only to get a dirty look and a closed bathroom door in her face.  

“So,” Delphine said now, “tell me what else happened today.”

“Oh! Yeah, so, interesting development.  I ran into Rebecca Twell, Leda clone from Scotland.”

“Scotland?”

“I know, right?”  Cosima got the list of Ledas from the desk and skimmed it for Rebecca's name.  “She, uh, gave me a ride back and said we should have breakfast tomorrow.”

Delphine lowered the spoon.  “Really?”

“Yeah. She said she's been looking for Julia Luiz, one of the Brazlian Ledas, too.”

“Where did you meet her?”

“Oh, I uh... I might've needed some help getting out of a ditch.  She and this guy Eduardo drove by and he pulled me out.  She wears glasses, too.  I'll have to see if she's a lesbian.”  Cosima flipped to Rebecca's name on the Europe list, but did not see Eduardo listed as a monitor or known associate.

“And you're having breakfast with her tomorrow?” Delphine asked.

“Well, if you're feeling up to it, I was hoping that we could have breakfast with her.”

* * *

Delphine was still weak in the morning, but she felt well enough to shuffle down to the restaurant with Cosima, where she ordered green tea and plain toast.  Five minutes after eight, Rebecca Twell strolled in, wearing a flowy tie-dyed skirt, sandals, and a snug T-shirt.  Without the bulky rain jacket, Cosima saw that Rebecca was curvier than she was, with the rounded shoulders of a someone who sat at a desk for most of their life.  Rebecca's hair was pulled into a low ponytail that reached her waist, and a lock of her hair was woven with colorful thread.  Cosima had briefly wondered, yesterday, if Rebecca smoked pot, given all the other similarities she and Cosima shared. Seeing Rebecca now, she no longer wondered.  

“Good morning!”  Rebecca shook Cosima's hand when she stood to greet her, and nodded at Delphine, who stayed seated.

Cosima did the introductions.  “Delphine, this is Dr. Rebecca Twell. Rebecca, this is my girlfriend, Dr. Delphine Cormier.”

Rebecca smiled at them both as she sat.  “And are you a doctor as well, Cosima?”

“Ah, no.  Not yet.  Working on it...”  In truth, although Cosima had great plans to work on her dissertation during their travels, she had done almost none of it since leaving Canada.  “Evolutionary developmental biology.  ABD.” she said, in answer to the question she saw on Rebecca's face.  

“Oh ho!”  Rebecca leaned back in her seat, eyes wide.  “You might be able to lend us a hand, then, in this little mystery.”

Cosima and Delphine exchanged a small laughing glance.  “Yeah, I think I probably can.”

They were interrupted as the waiter came and Rebecca ordered coffee, orange juice, plantains, and gallo pinto with two eggs.  After he left, Rebecca propped her arms on the table.  “And what kind of doctor are you, Dr. Cormier?”

“Please, just Delphine.  Immunology, but I have experience in general and emergency medicine, as well.  What about you?”

“History! I specialize in medieval europe, particularly women's experiences and stories, particularly in Scotland, as you might imagine.”  The waiter brought her coffee, and she took a large drink.  “Not as useful when you're looking at a biological mystery.”

Cosima shook her head and smiled.  “Maybe not, but it's still a fascinating subject.”  She was trying to think of how to broach the topic of clones when Delphine jumped in.

“So, Cosima tells me that you're looking for Julia Luiz?  The woman from Brazil?”

“Well, it's a bit of a stretch to say that I'm looking for her,” Rebecca said, her smile slipping a bit.  “I thought I saw her yesterday, but that was just your girlfriend here, stuck in a muddy ditch.”

“How do you know Julia, though?” Cosima asked.  “We were looking for her in Rio, but we couldn't find her.”

“Oh? Well, I think she does a lot of traveling.”  Rebecca began toying nervously with the sugar packets on the table.

“That doesn't answer my question.  How do you know her?”

Rebecca set her coffee down and sighed, then looked up and stared at Cosima for a while.  Cosima was used to it, or she had been.  Beth had stared at her the same way when they'd met, and so had Sarah. Alison, of course, had avoided looking directly at her the first few times they met, except the time she was high as a kite.  The stare didn't bother her coming from other clones.  It was only when others, like Virginia Coady or Susan Duncan, stared at her that it made her squirm.  

“No, it doesn't,” Rebecca acknowledged.  “I met Julia in Puerto Rico a few months ago.  I met her through another woman, my friend Gabriela, who's another one, looks just like us.  Gabriela met Julia years before, at some international summer program for rich kids.  They're both rich.”  Rebecca gestured as though that was a critical fact, and Cosima nodded along.  

Delphine got a notebook and a pen from her bag.  “Gabriela?”  She flipped a few pages.  “Gabriela Báez?  From San Juan, Puerto Rico?”

Rebecca was frowning now, and her posture was more rigid.  “Maybe.  How do you know that?”

Cosima recognized that face, too.  That was the what the fuck is going on face both Alison and Sarah had in the early days of Clone Club, when they had known something was strange, but were starting to realize just how strange things really were.  She reached across the table and lay her hand next to Rebecca's.  “Listen.  This is weird.  I know.  But you've already figured a lot of it out, by the looks of it.  You know that there are people out there who look exactly like you.”

“Yeah. That doesn't explain how your girlfriend has my friend's name, and Julia's name, written in a little book.  Is my name in there, too?”

Delphine looked from Cosima to Rebecca.  “Uhm, no.  It's, uh, it's in a separate book.  This is Latin America only.”

“Latin America only?” Rebecca repeated.  “So, what, I'm in the Europe book?”

“Yes.”

Cosima saw Delphine wanting to say that it was actually more of a “Europe and the Middle East” book, and she cut her off.  “How many of us have you met, Rebecca?  How many women who look just like you?”

“With you, three.  You, Gabriela, and Julia.”

“Okay.” She tried to remember how their conversation with Sarah had gone, the first night they met, and how she had wanted it to go, before Alison blurted out, “We're clones!”

“Do you know why you all look exactly the same?” Delphine asked.

The waiter brought her food, and Rebecca picked at it for a moment before answering.  “Well, my parents got IVF, and Gabi's did, too, so we figured it's something to do with that.  Same donor, obviously, though we're a little surprised we got spread out so much. Especially since we're so close in age.  We're only two weeks apart.”

“And Julia?” Cosima asked.  “Her parents got IVF, too, right?”

Rebecca laughed at that.  “She says they didn't.  She says it's a divine coincidence, and IVF is against God's plan.”

Cosima smiled.  She had never been religious, but she figured if anything was against God's plan, human cloning probably was.  “Yeah, not every parent tells their kids the whole truth about where they come from.”

“Apparently.” Rebecca ate a few bites of her food, and Cosima followed suit before her own meal got cold.  “I'm guessing your parents did IVF, too, Cosima?”

“Yeah. Yeah, they were pretty open about that.  They didn't get a donor, though.  Or, I should say, they didn't think they got a donor. They think I'm biologically theirs.  Both of theirs.”

“And you're not?”

Cosima shook her head.  She had emailed her parents from Brazil, telling them she was on a research trip in South America, but that she wanted to talk to them about something important, and inviting them to Toronto after she returned.  So far, her parents hadn't replied, but it wasn't surprising.  They didn't do email very much.  “No,” she said.  “Not biologically.”

“And I suppose, being a couple of biology people, you've actually run the genetic tests to find out.”

She nodded.  “Yes.  And, I've also run tests on the other, uh, the other women who look just like me.  Like us.”

“How many others?”

Both Cosima and Delphine opened their mouths, but said nothing right away. “Well,” Cosima managed, “personally, I've run DNA tests, or seen the tests, anyway, on ten of us.  Eleven, if I include myself.”

“Eleven?” Rebecca's eyes went wide again.  “All women?”

“We were all born female.  One of us is a trans man.”

“Okay. So, what, we all came from the same IVF donor, or what?”

“We all came from the same place, yes.”

Rebecca nodded, and they all ate in silence while she digested the new information.  Cosima wondered how much to tell her.  Dr. Rebecca Twell, historian, might be more intellectual on the surface than Krystal Goderich, for example, but Cosima knew from experience that advanced degrees did not mean more openness to reality.  

“Let me ask you something else,” Rebecca said.  “Of those eleven people, was one of them a German woman named Katja something-or-other?”

Cosima's head perked up.  “Yeah.  Yeah, she's kind of the one we credit for finding out about all of us in the first place.”

Rebecca pushed her gallo pinto around on her plate.  “She contacted me, oh, must've been two years ago now.  Give or take, you know.  Said something about identicals, about other women all over Europe she'd found, and some in North America, but I didn't pay any attention back then.  I thought she was full of it.”

“Did she send you a picture of herself?”

“Sure she did.  Bright red hair, I think she had.  I never replied, just binned the email she sent.  And the one after that.  Then I got my new job in Glasgow, and I didn't hear from her any more.”  Rebecca gave a small laugh.  “I guess she was right after all.  I'll have to get back in touch, tell her I was wrong.”

Cosima bit her lower lip.  “I'm afraid Katja passed away, actually.  Not long after she contacted you, it sounds like.”

“Oh? She couldn't've been that old, could she?  What happened, if you don't mind me asking?”

Now Cosima shifted in her seat.  No harm in telling the truth, she thought, since the danger that killed Katja was no longer a danger, but a doting mother of twins.  “She was murdered,” Cosima said.  

“Holy hell.”

“I know.  She helped us out a lot, though.  She'd collected blood and hair samples from some of the other European, uh... women, like us. That's how I could do tests on them.”

“Did they know you were testing them?”

“She said they knew.  Katja sent me four samples, including her own.  If you'd been in contact with her, she probably would've tried getting samples from you, as well.”

“Still sounds weird.”

Cosima had to grin at that.  “Yeah, you have no idea.”

“Tell me something else, though.  My sister's kids, both girls, same mother and father, right?  They don't look exactly the same, do they?  You can tell them apart, no problem.  Hell, Sophie's got blue eyes and Olivia's are brown!  That's normal, though.  Siblings don't usually look exactly the same unless they're identical twins.  You're a biologist, you know about all that.”  Cosima nodded, knowing where Rebecca was going with this.  “But you and me, we look exactly the same.  Okay, maybe I'm a little heavier than you, you look like you work out more than me, okay.  Different hair, you're a bit more tan. But otherwise?  We're the same on the outside.  My friends Gabi and Julia look even more alike; they've got the same sort of body type, used to have the same hairstyle.  They could switch outfits and pretend to be each other, and no one would notice until they opened their mouths because Julia's English isn't so great.”

“Yeah.” Cosima smiled at Delphine, remembering a few interesting clone swaps.  

“And yet,” Rebecca went on, “we're just all from the same IVF donor, is what you're saying.  So, that means, same father, different mothers.  We're half sisters, yeah?”

Cosima put down her utensils and fiddled with the edge of her napkin, wondering if now was the time to drop the clone bomb.  Delphine took her hand and sqeezed it, letting her know that whichever answer she gave, Delphine was fine with it.  They'd find a way to innoculate Rebecca whether she knew the truth or not.  Still, Rebecca was a smart woman.  The truth wouldn't hurt her, probably.

“Okay, now that worries me.”  Rebecca pointed to their joined hands on the table.  “That tells me you've got something maybe a little upsetting that you haven't said yet.”

Cosima sighed and nodded again.  “The thing is, I didn't say we all came from the same IVF donor.  I said we all came from the same place.”

In the pause that followed, Rebecca said, “You're gonna need to tell me what that means, Cosima.  The same place, when we're all from different countries, different continents.  So, what, we're all from outer space, or what?  Aliens?”

“Uh, no.”  Cosima laughed in spite of herself.  “We're clones, actually.  We're genetic identicals, like you suspected.  Not just siblings, or half-siblings, but totally identical.”

Rebecca leaned back in her chair and nodded.  “Like the sheep.”

“Like the sheep.”  The thought make Cosima think of MK, but before she could dwell long, Rebecca was shaking her head.

“That's a little bit illegal, isn't it?”

“The people, the organization that created you,” Delphine said, “did not care about the legality of it.  They had the resources to do it outside of legal channels.  Or, perhaps better said, they had the resources to make it not matter whether it was legal or not.  No one stopped them.”

“Are they still doing it?  Still cloning people?”

“No.”

Around them, the restaurant was full, and a line had formed at the host station.  At the table beside them, the young couple drinking mimosas kept glancing over at the mention of clones.  

“How much longer will you be in Costa Rica?” Cosima asked.

“I'm leaving Cahuita tomorrow morning,” Rebecca said.  “Costa Rica the day after that.”

“Well, I'm really glad that we caught you here.  Um, listen, there's something else you should know, something that's really important.”

“More important than being a clone?  My goodness.”

Cosima couldn't tell from that statement if Rebecca believed she was a clone or not, but it didn't matter.  “Yeah, actually, but it's related. So, since we're all identical, we all have the same genetic health risks.  Some pretty serious ones, actually.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. That's actually why we have all these names written down, and why we're trying to find everyone.  There's a disease that affects clones, and it's fatal if not treated, but we've got a treatment that works, and a vaccine for those who don't have symptoms yet.”

“Fatal, how?  What kind of disease?”

“It's an autoimmune disease.  It starts in the uterus and goes to the lungs, the kidneys... the first symptoms are usually bloody coughs, but it also means we're all sterile.”

Rebecca shifted uncomfortably in her chair.  “Bloody coughs, you says?”

“Yes. Do you have blood when you cough?”

“No, not usually.  But Julia does.  Gabi tried getting her to a doctor, but Julia, well... she doesn't care for medicine too much.”

“It's important that we see her, then,” Delphine said.  “If she's already showing symptoms.”  She flipped through her notebook some more until she got to Julia Luiz's page, and wrote down that what Rebecca said.

“Good luck getting her treated, though,” Rebecca said, eyeing the notebook.

“Well, we'd like to treat you, as well,” Cosima said.  “Even if you're not showing symptoms, we can innoculate you so that you never do.”

Rebecca sighed.  “I'll have to think about it.  We've just met, after all, haven't we?  I don't usually let strangers go sticking me with things unless I know who they work for.  It makes me think, though.  My friend Gabi, she's been trying to get pregnant for years.  The clinic told her a few months ago that she's infertile.  It broke her heart. Does that means she's sick?  That she's dying?”

Cosima and Delphine shook their heads.  “No,” Delphine said.  “All of the clones are sterile, with very few exceptions.  Even after the treatment, the infertility remains.  I'm sorry.  But, hopefully we can innoculate her against the disease, along with everyone else.  To make sure she never gets sick. ”

“Well, better to be alive, I guess,” Rebecca said.  She blew out a puff of air.  “You know, you could've told me I was sterile a lot sooner. It would've saved me gobs of trouble with birth control.  All the same... I always figured I'd get pregnant one day.  Now I've got to tell my boyfriends.”

Cosima smiled at the plural boyfriends. “Obviously, you're welcome to check with your own doctor to verify.”

“How d'you know we're all sterile?  You said there were very few exceptions, but everyone else is sterile?  What, did you check that too, in your lab?”

The waiter came by then and dropped the check off, which Cosima paid. They gathered their things and went out into the sunny Caribbean morning.  Steam rose from every surface, and they had to squint against the glare.  Tourists were piling into the restaurant now, wearing variations on a beach or jungle theme, in board shorts or wrapped in towels with tree frogs proclaiming Pura Vida!  The three of them walked away from the crowd, towards the edge of the road where the sign cast a wide shadow.  

“How do I know we're all sterile?” Cosima repeated.  “First, I knew because every clone I knew was sterile.  Katja told me that all the European clones she'd met were sterile; that's one way she knew they were all related some how.  And the first two clones I met in Canada both had infertility issues.  I hadn't had issues myself because, well, it never really came up.”  She gave a rueful smile.  “We found out later, though, that it was planned.  The people who designed us never wanted us to have children.  Infertility is built into our genetic code.”

“But there are exceptions, you said.  Exceptions to the infertility thing, or to the disease?”

Rebecca was handling the news of being a clone remarkably well, Cosima thought.  She leaned against the restaurant sign, arms crossed, watching Cosima and Delphine, but mostly Cosima, with no more than a small furrow between her eyebrows.  

“There are two exceptions we know of,” Delphine said.  “Twins that were removed from the cloning process after conception but before the infertility sequence was introduced.”

The furrow between Rebecca's brows increased.  “That doesn't make any sense.  Your genes are set when you're conceived, not after.”

“Well, most of them are,” Cosima said.  “Usually.  It, um, gets a little more complicated when you're looking at clones, though, or any kind of genetic engineering.  I mean, you can get gene therapies now, as an adult.”

Rebecca took off her glasses and rubbed the bridge of her nose.  “This is getting over my head, I'm afraid.”

“It's a lot to take in,” Delphine agreed.  Cosima saw her wrap her arms around her midsection, wincing.

“Give it some thought,” Cosima told Rebecca.  “We'll be here all day, room 121.  Drop by whenever.  At least stop by before you leave, so we can give you our contact info.”

* * *

Back in the room, Cosima logged the encounter with Rebecca while Delphine curled up on the bed.  “That was damn lucky,” Cosima said.  “The sheet has Rebecca still living in Edinburgh with her parents.”

“It would have been easy to find her, though.”

“Sure, but now we don't have to.”

“She could vanish.  Panic after learning she's a clone, and we never see her again.”

Cosima turned in the desk chair to look at her girlfriend.  “Since when are you the cynical one?  I thought that was my job.”

Delphine smiled at her, eyelids dropping.  “Maybe you're rubbing off on me. I don't really think she will, though.  She was surprisingly open to everything we told her.  I think she'll come back.”

* * *

Sure enough, Rebecca returned close to seven that evening, a laptop bag slung over one shoulder.  “You mind if I Skype from here?  With Gabi.  I told her most of it over the phone, but I think she should see you.”

“Yeah! Yeah, definitely.”  Cosima cleared a space for her on the desk, making sure that all identifying information for the other clones was hidden.  Delphine climbed out of the hammock on the porch, where the daily rain fell in sheets just beyond the awning.  

A few minutes later, Gabriela Báez popped up on Rebecca's laptop screen. Gabriela was slender, approaching skinny, with a blonde-highlighted suburban bob that made Cosima think of Alison and Krystal at the same time.  Rebecca made the introductions in English, and Gabriela leaned forward to inspect Cosima's face, rubbing her upper lip as she did. “Hmm....” she said.  “You're a scientist?”  

“Uh, yes.  Working on my PhD right now.”

Gabriela nodded, then gestured to Delphine lingering in the background.  “And that's your girlfriend?”

“Yes. She's an immunologist.  She's been doing most of the innoculations and treatments so far.”  Cosima wrapped her arm around Delphine's waist and pulled her closer.  

“You're a lesbian, then?” Gabriela asked.

“Yes.”

Gabriela shook her head, and Cosima steeled herself for a homophobic comment or two, but instead Gabriela turned to Rebecca and said, “Do not tell Julia.  She'll run away and never come back.”

On the chair beside Cosima, Rebecca laughed.  “Oh, lordy, she would.” Turning to Cosima, she explained, “Julia's a little, eh, conservative in her world views.  When you do meet her, don't be surprised when she tries to save your soul for Jesus.”

“If you really can treat that bloody cough of her, though,” Gabriela went on, “the best way to find her is through her church.  I'm serious.  Act like you want to convert, she'll do anything for you.” Gabriela's English was almost native-like, Cosima thought.  Without knowing where she was from, she might have thought Gabriela was Canadian, or an English woman who spent a lot of time in the States.

“That's good to know,” Delphine said.  “And we do have a cure.  For her, for you, for everyone.”

Gabriela kept rubbing her upper lip, tapping her desk or table with her other hand.  Behind her, the room was bright yellow, decorated with miniature paintings along the wall.  “Well, I guess now's as a good a time as any to tell you, Beck; I went to see my doctor yesterday.”

Rebecca leaned forward.  “You did?  You're not sick, though, are you?”

“I'm not coughing up blood, no.  But I was feeling a little short of breath at the gym last week, for a few days in a row, so I went in, thinking of Julia, of course.  He listened to me breathe for a while, and he's a little worried.  Wants me to come in for tests in a few days.”

“Fuck, Gabi.”  Rebecca dropped her head into her hands.  

Cosima squeezed in closer to the screen.  “Um, Gabi?  I know we've, like, just met, but that sounds a lot like the first symptoms of the disease.  Would you mind if we came up to look you over?  We can make sure the disease never progresses farther than this.”

Gabriela looked down, then nodded.  “Sure.”

“So, what?” Rebecca said, “You think I should get the shot, too, then?”

With a sigh, Gabriela looked back up at her.  “That's up to you.  I just know that Rodrigo is worried about me.”

“Didn't you say Rodrigo's been acting a little strangely recently, though?” Rebecca said.  While they spoke, Cosima pulled herself away long enough to discretely check Gabriela's page in their notebook.  Sure enough, Rodrigo, assuming it was the same man, had been Gabriela's monitor for seven years, and they'd been married for four.

“Yes, he's been stuck to the internet for months.  I'm getting used to it.”

“What kind of stuff is he looking up on the internet?” Cosima asked.  “Do you know?”

“Sure I know. He's on these news sites, looking at these big companies falling apart with scandals.  He's really into the ones whose CEOs have mysteriously died recently.”

“Like Dyad?” Delphine asked.  

“It sounds familiar.”

Meanwhile, Rebecca leaned the chair back on it's hind legs and rubbed her arms. “Okay, well, if you and Rodrigo think this treatment is a good idea, maybe I'll get it.  What are the side effects?”

Cosima chimed in the answer.  “Light fever is the most common. Some people get dizzy for a day or so afterwards.  That's for the vaccine, which it sounds like you would need.  If the disease has already manifested with symptoms, the treatment's a little more involved.”  She turned to face Gabriela directly.  “Hey, um, this is gonna sounds really unpleasant, but can you maybe get your doctor to do a uterine biopsy in the next couple of days?  You might not feel anything now, but if you're already short of breath like this, you probably have polyps in your uterus, too, and that's where we'll need to administer your treatment.”

Gabriela shifted in her chair.  “It's in the uterus, too?”

“I'm afraid so, yeah.”

“That explains that, then.”  Gabriela seemed to be talking to herself, so no one responded.  

Delphine picked up the notebook with Gabriela's page open and asked when they could see her in San Juan.  A few minutes later, they had it all arranged, and Gabriela signed off of Skype.  Rebecca still held her forehead in her hands.  

“A vaccine, huh?” she said.

Delphine nodded.  “Yes.  We can give it to you now, if you'd like.”

Cosima sat on the armchair, leaning towards Rebecca.  “It's scary, I know, but trust me, the vaccine's a lot easier than dealing with treatment once you get sick.  And without the vaccine, you probably will get sick, we just don't know when.”

“And you've gotten it yourself, then?  This vaccine?”

“No. I was pretty sick by the time we got a cure, so I had to have a bunch of treatments.  Trust me, the vaccine's easier.”

Rebecca rubbed her forehead.  “You were sick.  Julia's sick now.  Gabi says she might be sick.  Christ.  And we're all clones.”

Quietly, Delphine moved around her to her medical case near the sliding door. She pulled out a vial of innoculate and a syringe, and set them down on the desk without a word.  Rebecca eyeballed them.  “Just one?” she asked.

“Just one.  In your upper arm.”

Rebecca blew out a loud breath and swore.  “What the hell.”  Rolling up her sleeve, she closed her eyes.  “Just don't tell me what you're doing.  I try not to think about needles when they're going in me.”

Smiling now, Delphine put on her gloves, cleaned the site on her arm, and injected the vaccine into Rebeeca's left deltoid.  Rebecca hissed and swore in what might have been Gaelic, then shook herself all over once Delphine said it was over.

Fifteen minutes later, after Rebecca left, Delphine perched on the arm of the chair where Cosima sat looking at their list of Ledas, and handed her a green highlighter.  “That went well, I think.”

Cosima grinned.  “Yeah.  Thank God for Gabriela; I wasn't sure we'd get Rebecca on board before.”

“I've already booked the flight for San Juan, the day after tomorrow.”

“Why not tomorrow?”

“I thought we should look some more for Erika Maria Santos while we're here.  And besides, we still haven't done that sunrise breakfast on the beach you promised me.”

Cosima giggled and nuzzled Delphine's chest.  “That's because someone decided it was a better idea to be sick for three days right after we got here.”  She slid a hand up Delphine's shirt and tickled her stomach, careful to avoid her scar, which she knew had been aggrivated by all the heaving Delphine's abdominal muscles had been doing recently.  “You're feeling better, though?”

“Much.”

“Good.” She let her lips linger on Delphine's jaw for several moments. “Because after sunrise breakfast on the beach, I might have some plans for us that do not involved anyone else, at all.”

* * * * * * * 

Note:

While I have been to Cahuita, I never went to the clinic there, so the representation here shouldn't be taken as based on reality.  

#orphan black fanfiction #post-canon #canon compliant #cosima niehaus #delphine cormier #originial characters

[sierrabinondo]

my first tour.

i’m currently sitting in a ford e350 riding down I-95 back to new jersey, to hurriedly clean out the rental van we took for my band’s first tour ever and drop it off at bandago. we’ve been up since 8:30 am, not an unusual time for us, but we’re running on about 5-6 hours of sleep. that’s the average amount of sleep we’ve been able to squeeze in every night of tour. nine nights straight away from home, a gig almost every night. and of course, as physically exhausting as it was, it was a week that changed us and challenged ourselves as musicians.

8/12 - asbury park, nj

day one was our jersey hometown show in asbury. boy it was stressful at first, and absolutely sweltering outside from the humidity. i was so stressed because i was in a panic (when aren’t i lol) dealing with a sinus infection. anyone who knows me knows i’m a nervous wreck. i am a perfectionist, and i loathe not performing at my best; i try really hard to be perfect. i was flushing out my sinuses every hour and inhaling my humidifier that resembles a mini-nutri bullet if they came in white and also had a vaporizer tank inside. i looked pretty ridiculous sitting behind merch like this but i wasn’t taking any chances. i needed to take whatever measures i could possible to avoid a poor performance. there were a good amount of friends and people who came out to support us and i didn’t want to let them down. i was also really excited to see funeral attire, the band we went on tour with, and for people to see the progress we made in the month and a half we took to rigorously prepare for tour.

the asbury show ended up being really great, and a couple people said it was the best they’ve ever seen us. i felt overjoyed to hear such awesome feedback. i was also just really happy i could get our tourmates and close friends in funeral attire a show in asbury park. we sold out of pretty much all of our ramen shirts, which i was hoping to save for the rest of tour, but we ended up having enough to sell at least one ramen shirt a day to somebody. it was also really cool seeing like five people walking around the venue with ramen shirts on lmao

8/13 - long island, ny

and so our week of tour began- my sinus infection lessened but it persisted. the next day was long island, and we were looking forward to reuniting with our friends in i dreamt the sea who graciously put the show together for us. all of tour, whenever we played a bar with a juke box i spent $2 to play “smooth” by carlos santana featuring rob thomas and it was worth the allocated cost of $4 for all of tour. the show was a ton of fun. however i strangely sang worse than i did the day before- which was weird, and frustrating, since i felt the symptoms of my sinus infection less than i had in asbury. i was extremely upset. but i was surrounded by friends and i tried really hard to put on a brave face. all the bands we played with were super nice and liked us a lot, we made new friends and people who came out to the show dug us a lot too. we finally got to gig with u blue who are also a blue swan-eque band. so i guess even though i sucked, we did something right.

as we were getting ready to leave to go crash at my close friend jenni’s house in bellimore, our van’s battery died. bandago mentioned when we picked up our van earlier in the day that the battery had died the day before, but all they advised was that we drive the van around for a half hour or more once we began our rental. they didn’t mention anything about being wary of the battery beyond that. kelly and cassidy straight up saved us and gave us a super quick jump, and we were on our way finally. jenni was the first friend we crashed with and she really treated us to a nice sleep and some delicious bagels. so glad i could get to see her for the first time in a while too.

8/14 - nazareth, pa

the next day we headed out as quickly as possible to make our way to PA. something i feared on this tour was that we would lose our personal belongings, or have something stolen from us. this did happen - our tour photographer julie’s power strip was stolen in long island. fortunately, we were able to help her replace it. what had happened as we arrived to PA and stopped at walmart, was that i magically lost my phone somewhere between holding it in my hand walking out of the store, and sitting down to leave for our hotel. i was pretty much convinced it was gone or stolen. we ripped apart the entire van to try to find it, ran back inside walmart to see if i put it down somewhere, and even walked back to a spot we had the van parked in for a few minutes. i was convinced i was going to spend all of tour without a goddamn phone. and then, it occurred to me- maybe check… the garbage? and christ almighty. in a swath of basura juice, there was my phone. i ran back inside walmart to scrub the SHIT out of the case and carefully wash the phone itself and we finally made our way to check in at the days hotel in allentown, PA.

seriously- if you have a band of 5+ people, and/or if you are willing to spare the expense, buy hotel rooms for whatever nights you don’t have somewhere to crash for free any night of tour. i realize this isn’t feasible for 2+ week stints, or for people who literally do this for a living, but it was amazing to have beds to sleep in and free breakfast every morning for about $12-$15 a person. i actually don’t know if we would have been as healthy and happy without having that convenience. hotwire was how chris donis from funeral attire and i booked rooms, and the rates started at about $60 plus fees and tax per night. and it was fun crashing in hotels.

we met up with our friends in funeral attire and ethan from whittled down who was doing merch for most of the tour for a quick swim before the show in nazareth. we love hanging out with those guys. my obnoxious laugh is probably amplified by 10 dB just being around them. seriously almost pissed myself laughing in the pool because the guys were playing chicken and then ethan was doing kick flips into the pool with the life-saving device hanging by the pool the size of a massive surfboard. but POOL TIME was over around 3:30 pm because we had to get ready to head to the next venue, which was stehly’s bakery in nazareth a town over.

playing stehly’s was sick. small place, but they give each band member at least one free treat of some sort. i got a couple kiffles- little pastry dough roll-ups filled with fruit jellies- they were soooo cute and so good. i also caved to a helping of six potato and onion pierogies after the show. the only concerning thing was that after the first band jetsam played - awesome instrumental prog doom band - we soon realized that the show didn’t have a sound guy. there was a small PA set up, and we had mics and mic stands missing. the confusion pushed us quite a bit behind schedule but enough people at the show were resourceful and helpful enough to keep the show moving. i felt like i didn’t play an awesome set, and we also had some technical difficulties with our click track/Interlude mixer, but the funeral attire guys still had very nice things to say about us, so i trust them haha.

i was frustrated with how i totally blew my performance in long island, when we had a decent amount of people watching us, and then had a great show the next day. i actually don’t care about playing to a room of few people; i consider any opportunity to play to any amount of people of equal worth to another. so when i blow one show but not the other, i feel regret for not winning over potential fans we could have had, had i just been a better vocalist.

8/15 - philadelphia, pa

so then imagine my absolute blind rage, when we played the barbary in philly the next day, and we played our worst show all of tour. we were truly looking forward to this show and we were so devastated afterwards. my top most anticipated three shows were asbury, philly and cambridge. we love playing philly, we had some great bands on this bill we like a lot, and we actually had people coming out for us.

we were just making sure that the band on before us had almost all their gear off before we could load on, it was a really small stage. but the sound guy beckoned for us over the PA to start loading on regardless. we barely got a line check and it set the precedent for the whole set. ryan was starting to have volume issues with the volume levels on the mixer, and then because our individual levels were out of whack one of us would be louder than the other, or too loud to hear the drums. it was a straight up mess. and i didn’t know if we would win over anyone at the show anyways, but i just wanted to play well enough to have their respect. i put a lot of pressure on ourselves. i put a lot of pressure on myself.

when i have a bad set and i can’t deal with the disappointment i tend to shut down. even if i try my absolute best, even if people tell us we were still good - i just, i don’t believe them. it feels like they’re just being polite or i’m being lied to. it’s pretty pathetic of myself and sad; it’s something i need to work on. i actually wrote the small verse of lyrics in the intro of this tour about that. i just don’t think with all the experience of singing and performing i have that error is excusable anymore. after taking my best friend laura to her car i started chugging alcohol. i told myself before tour i wouldn’t drink until the last day to keep my throat in a healthy condition - whoops. i was so pissed i didn’t care and we had the next day off anyways; figured if i chugged water before bed i’d be fine. and i was right.

even when we had bad shows, my favorite perk each night was just getting to see funeral attire play every night. their song “joy” is one of my favorite all-time songs. the drowned god, blueroom and flowercrown were awesome too. oh! and a super fun thing we did was place enormous orders for cheesesteaks and had them delivered to the venue. we got guest lists this show and two free drink tickets each too. not gonna lie, it felt cool haha. we also explored a bit and FINALLY did our nine month-overdue interview with our friend brandon from audio addiction.

8/16 - day off at delaware water gap, days hotel in allentown, pa 

the next day, our day off, marked the halfway point for our tour. the original plan was hershey, but we did delaware water gap instead. it was a much better plan. we started the day with the whole tour together at cracker barrel. we then started to head up to delaware water gap, specifically milford, PA to check out hackers falls and milford beach. this day started out as absolute dog shit for me because i was dealing with a kinda heavy personal issue at home. didn’t anticipate i’d have anything to worry about in this regard, and my mental health has been worsening over the course of this year. so imagine at this point how hard it was for me to hide behind my hair and not be upset the whole morning. i’m also a horrible liar so i was fucked if i wanted to lie and say it was seasonal allergies fucking up my face lmfao

on top of that, we were super behind schedule for del water gap. we were all supposed to go jump in the waterfalls together, but we couldn’t find the specific waterfall we wanted to jump in. and the one we did find, the one i sort of swam in, it turned out that the trail to the bottom of the waterfall was closed off- which i believe had a more ideal swimming hole-type area. oh! and the worst part! we kept forgetting funeral attire had a commercial van for this tour. and one of the roads linked to where we were, PA-209, doesn’t allow commercial vehicles to travel through. so on top of me dealing with shit at home and now feeling like i was immensely inconveniencing my friends, i felt like an asshole. on my fucking day off lmao

but to my pleasant surprise it ended up being fine, and insanely fun. funeral attire didn’t get to chill at the waterfall with us but we made our way to milford beach and hung out there for the remainder of the day. thank god it was still open we didn’t get there until 5:30 pm. a bunch of us were swimming, couple of the guys just read or laid in the grass, and a few of the guys were throwing around a baseball. some of them swam across the river and back, the other side of the river was new jersey haha.

that night we got together to drink VERY heavily and hang out. that was probably one of my favorite highlights of the tour. at this point i was feeling much better. i shared a fat bottle of some pink moscato with julie. by the way, it was so sick having another girl on tour. not just because julie is talented but is also a great friend and was just an awesome presence to have for the week. her and donis helped me a lot on this day, if it wasn’t for them i don’t know i would have gotten through it.

my band partied hard for the first night all tour. funeral attire has the absolute strength and stomachs to drink most nights and then still play amazing sets every day- we’re not there at least not yet haha. holy fuck i made it halfway through this post and haven’t mentioned TIKI TIME??? TIKI TIM???

so funeral attire kept a couple sweet luau decorations from the long island venue hahaha and one of them said tiki time- can’t say i can truly encapsulate what tiki time is in a short explanation. tiki time was when we drank, but tiki time was also sort of the entire tour??? so i might be beat for explaining it well haha.

so we got super drunk and sang to old fueled by ramen/myspace emo bands, and my bandmate jaime and i played a four-way battle of magic the gathering with frankie and fez from funeral attire. i had my ass handed to me but i’m still learning anyways, it was fun regardless. it was really cool getting to know the guys in funeral attire better, i was already pretty close with donis but i feel like i got the chance to actually talk and hang with everyone.

arguably one of the funniest moments on tour - my bandmate joe got absolutely TRASHED. he somehow managed to get lost lmao or jaime had to escort him back to our hotel room late in the night. and even after joe was safe with us he woke up at 6 in the morning when housekeeping came walking in so he got up to shoo them away hahaha and THEN- he PANICKED because he realized he didn’t take a room key when he walked out the room and shut the door HAHA so he called ALL of us SEVEN times, he also accidentally called the jam room in howelll LMAO and finally as he’s on the phone with our friend ed, ed was just like “ask for help” so joe pulled aside an employee. and as that employee was approaching to help and joe turned the door knob, the door OPENED. the poor kid was sooo hung over the entire next day.

8/17 - brooklyn, ny

the second half of tour began with our drive out to brooklyn and nursing poor joe back to health. both bands arrived to brooklyn around the same time. we briefly went to a dog park, and then went to a big thrift shop where bren bought the sickest light pink leather jacket. after about an hour or so of walking around, we realized we were out of ideas of shit to do until showtime in about eight hours. we were all hungry as hell, but half of us wanted ramen or pizza. so we split up - my bandmates went to pizza, and julie and i went to ramen with funeral attire and ethan. we went to zamurai ramen which was absolutely fantastic. the prices were reasonable, too.

muchmore’s was a cool spot- a handful of my good friends came out too, it was awesome to see them and have some comfort from familiar faces. bartees cox jr was one of my most anticipated artists we were to play with on tour, and just, wow. originally his whole band stay inside was to play, but when he could only play solo i knew in my gut i still needed him on the show. what an exemplary musician of genuine talent, he truly stole the show. his voice, god. some people just sing, and some people make you feel by way of singing- i truly felt what he was singing. it’s people like him that inspire me.

well UNFORTUNATELY, i blew it at this show again too. and it felt horrible for me, considering my bandmates still played well and we promised we wouldn’t let the philly set happen again. i hate when i encourage everyone to play their best but can’t even set a good precedent for everyone. i was insanely upset, but i suppressed the urge to despair. 

after the show we crashed with jaime’s friends tim and erica who - holy shit - really pulled out all the stops for us. we had to pay $79 to park the van in the city, but even in a small lower manhattan apartment they were able to make us feel so goddamn comfortable. beds for everyone, a dinner table set for all of us and incredibly nice wine. i wasn’t going to eat but holy shit i COULD NOT turn down what tim made for us - this like, primavera white wine bowtie pasta and some DUMB thicc succulent pork. holy shit it was some of the best pork i have ever had. they also gave us breakfast for the next morning. what ANGELS

8/18 - manchester, nh

as we awoke we geared up for what would be our longest drive all tour - manhattan to manchester, new hampshire. we had at least six hours of driving to kill in time for load in at 5. we took this opportunity to watch selena- aka one of the best movies ever. the rain all day was real inconvenient, but we were excited to now be in funeral attire’s neck of the woods- new england that is. this also meant we were in the final stretch of tour; the dread was starting to set in.

this show ended up being one of our favorites. we had an enormous stage! it was fun to perform on and i felt like i personally had a great performance. it was cool to look around and see my bandmates looking super content and as into it as i was. the bands we played with were all awesome, we also played with a cool touring package (glass half empty and crafter). i was so excited to check out pinnacle, i really love their sound and their vocalist is so sick. damnit i just remembered i forgot to buy a shirt from pinnacle. I DIGRESS-

so funeral attire showed us mr. mac’s in manchester, a spot with over a dozen kinds of mac and cheese. i wanted to get the lobster one but i ended up getting jalapeño cheddar. woooOOOOOOOW it was GOOD - but of course i could only eat a little bit due to the fact i had to sing and also, milk products and my body are not a good mix anymore :—–) so i saved the rest for later and ate some while watching funeral attire’s set hahaha. julie got the carbonara which had like three different white cheeses and bacon, i almost got that one originally but we both just swapped bites. hiiiighly recommend going if you’re ever playing bungalow bar and grill or going to a show there!

8/19 - cambridge, ma

our second-to-last show was in cambridge, MA- it’s like boston’s brooklyn. rob kindly put us up for the night in his basement, and after we packed up we went to explore cambridge. to my very nice and pleasant surprise there was a GODDAMN H MART - an asian supermarket - with a food court. so we ate lunch there! i got a poké bowl, couple of the guys got ramen and sushi, and julie had this amazing dark curry. we also tried café nero, really great coffee/espresso spot that is also a chain and i straight up just had no idea. there was a bao place (super soft dumplings, kinda look like lil sandwiches) next door that julie and i grabbed baos to eat at. i got the MIT and- oh christ i forget the name of the other one- but the MIT had lamb, lettuce, sesame seeds, pickled onions and spicy mayo, and the other had most of the same ingredients but with crispy tofu. soooo delicious. the guys also bought a couple records at a shop across the street from the venue.

the venue we played was out of the blue too art gallery, an art gallery that hosts shows. AND THEY HAD AN ALASKAN MALAMUTE WALKING AROUND NAMED XO. the biggest malamute i’ve ever seen, xo was so cute. had colored feathers in her fur too. this show was funeral attire’s hometown show, so we met a lot of the musicians they’re most friendly with and they were all so kind. i wanted to get oldsoul on the show so badly and donis and jess from oldsoul made it happen, just such a wonderful band. i got hooked on em from their litter box sessions, jess has such an incredible voice. and the best part was they were all so nice, ugh. rainsound and newfield were awesome too, we got to talk to the rainsound guys a good amount. i didn’t do so hot this night - i hit a difficult note but still botched a bunch of other things - but honestly i was having such a great night so it didn’t even matter. and it was cool to see people who love funeral attire as much as i do singing the words.

8/20 - attleboro, ma

for the last night of tour frankie put us up, we left his place around noon to go back to café nero and get coffee and breakfast before checking in to our last hotel. by chance, hotelwire’s best deal was the holiday inn in mansfield, MA and holy SHIT- they upgraded our room so that we had a sofa with a pull out bed AND THE ROOM WAS MASSIVE. it was bigger than my boyfriend’s apartment in asbury park. two fluffy queen sized beds, that sofa bed, huge flat screen TV, spacious bathroom AND the sliding door in the room gave access right to the pool and jacuzzi area. we went for a quick dip in the jacuzzi and swam before we each had to quickly take real actually showers for the first time in two days. we managed to all somehow get ready within less than two hours and make it in time for load in at 5 pm, doors were at 6 pm

the last venue was cool - it was another art gallery, patterson creations. it was really nice and brand new inside. after both us and funeral attire loaded in we still didn’t have set time info, but going by the event page we assumed we at least were going on third - so minus jaime and ryan who already grabbed pizza across the street from the venue, we drove to north providence quickly to get hot dogs at olneyville new york system. it’s funeral attire’s favorite place to get hot dogs. we all pretty much ordered the way they do which is two hot dogs all the way, that comes with ground beef, mustard, celery salt and onions. i was hesitant to get two hot dogs but i was glad i did, because the one definitely wouldn’t have been enough. well, i WAS glad i did, until i got a very unpleasant phone call ha ha ha

jaime calls me as everyone is still finishing their food, and he says- “the door guy just approached me and said that… you guys need to get back here because we’re supposed to go on second.” holy shit i YELLED lmao. somehow, every other band but us and funeral attire got schedules, and we were supposed to go on at 7:05!!! it was 6:25 when jaime called me and we were twenty minutes away!!!

we quickly settled our bills and donis took me, my bandmates and julie back to the venue right away. we tried to get bands to switch but they couldn’t. thankfully the promoter was able to swap us with another band, so we had some additional time to get ready. i knew the promoter wouldn’t have done that to us out of malice, super nice guy. i had just wished we had the info prior to doors. we never go out for food if we know we have to play extremely soon. i don’t even eat less than three hours before i sing. i was losing my goddamn mind afraid of blowing our set on the last day of tour.

and i diiiiid ha ha ha as great as we started out, i blew almost the entire set. everyone also lost each other a couple times. because of the fear of fucking up royally we also completely abandoned the mixer for the interlude tracks, which we had to do several times over the course of tour. however usually we’d keep it hooked up so that ryan could hear the clicks, this time we didn’t use them at all but ryan’s tempo was still fine.

i was devastated our last set of tour went the way it did and i just couldn’t suppress the disappointment this time. i immediately inhaled a glass of wine at the bar and disappeared for a bit. as grateful and proud i was that we had just finished our first tour ever, i felt an overwhelming sense of failure. if i’m not consistently performing every night, am i fit to do this long term? am i costing the progress of our band? i worked so hard to be the best i could before we left. extra band practices and singing lessons. i did my best to proactively be aware of breathing technique while singing. is this just not in the cards for me? am i wasting my time and my bandmates time? it’s not a waste of time if it’s something i love, but am i an idiot to keep going? i know change doesn’t happen overnight, but i’ve been at this for so goddamn long now. even if i had confidence on stage to mask any evidence of error, my imperfect performance is still up for criticism. and that’s fair. i’m just afraid i’m sabotaging my own band.

after i was done cradling a box of tissues and watching newfield, i gathered my bandmates and my friend ben (we actually met on this site years ago lmfao he’s from worcester nearby the venue) to go get shit to mix alcohol with for after the show. i was also insanely depressed that funeral attire had to go home right after the show for work early the next day, so no post-show celebratory hangs. we had this stupid huge hotel room to have tiki time in and no funeral attire, we could have fit all twelve of us so comfortably.

but the saving grace of the night was singing flowers with funeral attire. what a FUn number but in all seriousness, my second favorite funeral attire song. their split with i dreamt the sea, the split that song is from, is sooo great. that perked me up a lot. 

after we parted ways with funeral attire we picked up a fat order of taco bell and went back to the hotel to eat, sad drink and watch the lion king. we spent the night sitting around in our new funeral attire merch just shooting the shit, and drinking until we fell asleep. we were easily dreading going back home, but hopeful for what the fall will bring for us as a band and to get back to EP 3 planning.

i know we’ll get to do this again. i just hate that i don’t know when right now. had some pretty bad financial scares on the road, and felt so tired i passed out in the van constantly, but i could sincerely do this forever.

i guess i also should maybe attribute some credit to the fact that chris donis and i booked this tour without any help from any booking company. no guarantees but we at least got something every night. i really don’t know what i would have done without him. i also realized maybe i have more ability as someone in the industry than i think. i feel slightly more knowledgeable now.

now that we know what it’s like to be on the road gigging every night, we can be sooo much more prepared next time. and i’m hoping to redeem myself, and i hope i can be better than ever. jeremiah was right when i called him last night crying - i’m an infinitely better vocalist than i was a year ago. i just hope our progress as a band now is enough to show people we have what it takes.

[datinglove07-blog-blog-blog]

50 Meet-Cute Couple Stories That Will Make You Believe In Love Again 

New Post has been published on https://onlinedatingloves.com/awesome/50-meet-cute-couple-stories-that-will-make-you-believe-in-love-again/

50 Meet-Cute Couple Stories That Will Make You Believe In Love Again 

1.I was waitressing, he came in all the time with his friends. Him and I became friendly, played jokes on each other, he grew to be one of my favorite regular customers.

Then, there were a few weeks when he didn’t is an indication at all, and I realized that I actually missed him. I didn’t have any of his contact details. I told myself that if he ever came back in, I needed to take the chance and ask him out.

Next night he came in, I guess we both had the same idea. He asked me before I could. I wrote my number down on a piece of receipt paper( which he still has ), we went out the next night, and we’ve been together ever since. He’s the love of my life.

2.Way back in 1980, I was working in south FL. A guy I worked with was retiring soon and had bought a vacation cabin in north GA. He showed me a picture of the cabin and posing in front was a dark haired beauty who he identified as his daughter. I remarked she was very attractive.

Forward a few weeks and he tells me the daughter had just broken up with her boyfriend, was in the dumps, and asked if I wanted to ask her out.

We went on a blind date, were married 2 years later, and now have three grown children and scheming where to go for our 37 th anniversary.

3.We were at a business networking event where the rule was that you were not allowed to buy drinks for yourself, whatever you bought you had to put it into someone else’s hand as an opener to dialogue. So this gorgeous brunette strolled up to me, put a gin-and-tonic in my hand, and introduced herself.

Hello, wife.

4.I considered him in the grocery store, and I thought he was handsome. I approached him in frozen foods as he was looking at a 5 lb. container of chicken nuggets. I asked if he was married, and when he said no, I asked if he would like to take me out some time. He set the bag of chicken nuggets on his head like he was about to pass out and we both chuckled. We are married with 4 year old twin boys now. :) 10/10 would recommend approaching a handsome stranger in the supermarket.

5.Soccer game. I was watching my good “girl friend” at the time play. Game ends and I go down to the field to congratulate her. Asked her where the other team was from, and I never heard of the place, so I said fuck it, went over to the cutest daughter on the other team, gave her my number, and here I am 4.3 years later with a girl I hope to marry. Having a pair of balls and saying fucking it can either pay off tremendously or back fire horribly.

6.I am a Match.com commercial for the wife. I had sent her a message after her account expired. She renewed her account, got my message, and 10 years later we are married with 3 kids and a dog.

7.We were both character musicians at Disney. We danced down the street together and couldn’t even ensure each other’s actual bodies at all, but the sweaty banter afterwards did it.

8.Online dating. Moved half-way across the country to be with her. I always wanted a nerdy-gamer daughter for a girlfriend and I got my wish.

Totally worth the move.

Cannot underline how fantastic online dating is to introverts, once you get over the ridiculous sum of rejection, and had recognized that patience is your friend, and lastly, learn to be honest and put endeavour into your messages/ profile.

9.OkCupid. After wafting through about 2 years of bullshit, failed dates, ghosting, etc I messaged this daughter. At that phase I was desensitized; why bother putting endeavour into your first message when 95% of daughters don’t reply?

I hit her with some genuinely corny father joke and she did answer and giggled. We got to talking, eventually agreed to meet up for a beer.

We agreed going in that we’d began with only a beer and lay everything out on the table. If either of us wanted to cancel the date we would , no hard feelings. A brew turned into two, was transformed into dinner. That turned into a second date, then a third. The first year was transformed into a second, then a third.

Now we’re engaged and simply booked a wedding venue.

10.That bitch t-boned me. She said she’d let me take her to dinner if we didn’t get the insurance involved. Having typed that out, I now ensure I get fucked that day on so many levels.

11.Worked together. I was supposed to have a party for all people at the job. My heat went out that day so I had to cancel. She didn’t get the message and presented up. Asked her if she wanted to take some shoots of of Jack Daniel’s and get “warm”. Twelve years later still taking shots and getting “warm” on a regular basis!

12.No idea where I got the nerve but she was sitting on a blanket alone watching a group of us doing medieval combat reenactments. Didn’t get a good look at her before I plopped down beside her and said hi. She turned and smiled and I immediately supposed,” Oh hell. She is way out of my league .” Turns out I get her on the rebound nearly 32 years ago. Still out of my league.

13.I was at a birthday party for a friend. He was the friend of my friend’s boyfriend. We hit it off right away.

14.We were both in a psychiatric hospital. We’ve been together almost 13 years. I was there for depression and anxiety, he was there to avoid a homeless shelter. I know it sounds crazy, but it kinda works out for us. We’ve gotten in a much better financial situation.

15.We met at a friend’s Halloween party- I have always been a huge Harry Potter fan, and of course, he was dressed as Harry Potter. The rest is history!

16.We all met up at the home of a mutual friend to go to a festival together. I arrived first and was told to open the door when she knocked. She saw me and said “You’re not mutual friend! ” We drunkenly hooked up at the party subsequently that night and are now merrily married with children.

17.I sat in the parking lot at a gas station. He parked his truck on the corner where you aren’t supposed to park. I screamed at him. We got married.

18.College! We had a few class together and he kept staring at me from afar. I went up to him one day and said hi, he fell the bagel he was feeing and I knew he had it bad for me. That was almost 9 years ago and we’ve been married for nearly 5 years. He’s the best thing to ever happen to me…

19.Reddit, actually! We were both active in a dating sub( a sub about a dating app , not a sub specifically for dating) which objective up creating a fitness challenge( members of the general notion began as, improve yourself so you can be a better partner and find someone !) We were placed in the same fitness group and genuinely hit it off. 3.5 years later, we’re planning our wedding.

20.On the train. He was on his style back from find a client, I was on my way back from working at a trade carnival. Neither of us felt especially like talking but somehow we didn’t stop talking once we started. We exchanged numbers and kept messaging/ talking backward and forward and started dating not quite a month subsequently. That fateful train ride was 4 years ago. We’ve been happy with each other( and uncharacteristically talkative around each other) ever since and got married last year.

21.First day of grad school, she was sitting behind me and I was typing on my iPad. She showed me that if I took two thumbs and slid them apart over the keyboard the keyboard would shift and I could use my thumbs easier to type. We are now happily married and typing on my iPad is much easier.

22.In the work infringe room. He was putting a Totinos party pizza in the microwave( poor college kid) and I was like, “Those don’t go in a microwave.” Married almost 12 years now, I’m still bossy but his cook abilities have improved.

23.I had a coworker who defined me up on a blind date with his sister in statute. It was a bbq at his house. When I got there, I saw this gorgeous female with an ass so fantastic it brought tears to my eyes. And speaking of eyes, hers were magical. So bright and when she smiles, her entire face illuminated up. Unfortunately this was his wife. Her sister was nice but not for me. I thought about the guys spouse almost every day. But I never acted on my feelings. A couple of years later, he got divorced and she called me. She had been thinking about me, too. We dated for 3 months and got married.

18 years later, still going strong. And dat ass … mmm mmmm mmm.

24.She was the first person to get in my taxi the first day I started driving cab. We’re still married 25 years later.

25.We both worked component hour at Macy’s while going to school. Unbeknownst to one another, we both had a rule of not dating anyone that we worked with. I casually knew her since she was a flyer and worked different departments, but I would find her every once in a while working the department that was on the way to the punch in/ out clock. One day, while entering the store for run, she was leaving and she tells me tomorrow is her last day. I asked for her number and we’ve been together ever since. That was back in 1985.

26.She worked at the cookie store in the mall, and I ran at a knife store nearby. I would close my store for hours on end to hang out with her.

27 . She was a personal shopper at Macy’s. My mom, appearing out for her son, told this really cute girl she was helping find a jacket for to” look up my son on facebook.’

Well, she did, and 6 years later( 2016) we got married, and my mommy died 6 weeks after our wedding. She was so proud of what she did. As we sit here expecting our first infant, I wish she was here every day. She would be so proud. I miss her so much.

28.Ok Cupid. First time I tried online dating, and I was the LAST person he tried fulfilling on online dating. I didn’t put a painting up, and “hes taken” a chance anyways. Married with a kid and a home 7 years later

29.We met at work and casually dated for a few weeks before I got really sick. I was hospitalized for a while and it was very traumatic. He insisted on remaining by my side throughout the whole ordeal, and we are merrily married 10 years later.

30.A few weeks after a really rough breakup my friends decided to take me out to cheer me up. I met my current SO at the bar that night and we hit it off. I aimed up taking him home that night supposing perhaps I just needed rebound sex( I had never taken a guy home from the bar prior to this ). He objective up texting me early the next morning and we’ve been inseparable ever since. He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

31.I was unemployed and had a job interview in the city( NYC) and was a few mins early for my interview so I stopped by a Starbucks to get a beaker of coffee( I know Starbucks is terrible but I wanted a cold brew) while on line I noticed her but didn’t do anything because I was focused on this interview. Anyways she had an issue with her order and turned around and accidentally bumped spilled her coffee all over me, she apologized and offered to pay for my dry cleaning and we exchanged numbers and talked texting and objective up dating. Aimed up didn’t going to that interview but aimed up get a better task so is not merely did I get the girl I also got a job.

32.I’m a commercial airline pilot and she’s a flight attendant. We fulfilled working together years ago when I was first start now as a co-pilot.

I’m planning on retiring early in a few years, she quit her job about 5 years ago to stay home and take care of our kids.

We own a bed and breakfast out in northern California my spouse runs while I’m away, and I’m looking forward to retirement so I can spend more time with her and the kids and helping her operate the place.

33.I was enjoying a cigarette on the smoking deck( designated smoking area) when a girl “re coming out”, sat down and said, “God dammit, fuck this.” I told her to watch her mouth. She said, “Fuck you motherfucker, I can say whatever the fuck I want to say.” We have been married for 10 years last February.

34.My church choir( college freshmen congregation) had seven women in it. I was the only human. After our first performance in a service, a girl came up and asked me who I was, and complimented me on being brave enough to sing in front of everyone.

A few weeks later she’s leading a mid-week venerate thing, and asks if I could sing something solo. I tell her yes, but I require an accompanist. She says she plays piano. I already thought she was cute, but when she started playing at our run-through, I was so breath-taken I missed my entrance.

It took me a while to ask her out, but four years later, we’re blithely married.

35.We met on Neopets as kids and became best friends. Years afterward we realized we were both into daughters so it worked out perfectly and we’re engaged.

36.Staring at her boob to drive a pervert away.

So we were in stage crew in high school. There was a healthy divide of 40+ girls and 4-5 guys including me. There was a lot of flirting, and well … Just naughty behavior all around. Usually boundaries were well respected and everyone had a good time constructing sets and props.

My friend, the perv in this story, is annoying this daughter and I can see her inconvenience. I walk over and ask what he’s doing and she responds :P TAGEND

” He’s staring at my boob and he’s not allowed to !”

To which I answered,” Am I allowed to ?”

She said yes and I proceeded to enjoy the sight of her massive boobs for a few seconds until I watch him in peripheral walk away pissed off. Afterwards, I apologize for his behavior and go back to work. She started talking to me more and eventually we discovered ourselves in a relationship now going on 7 years this July!

37.The day I gratified my husband in a college acting class. Our first class ice breaker was to walk around, and every time the prof said stop we had to stare into the eyes of the person closest to us.

We did this for 5 rounds. Guess who I had to stare at all five times?

We somehow got partnered up for our final acting scene despite not picking each other. We practiced for a few weeks and got to know each other and started going on dates after that. By the time we finished the class we were all over each other.

38.The scene: a shitty three tale home with a sinking floor supported by a makeshift pillar in the basement. Every surface is sticky.

I’m in the back, taking a break from my friends in the midst of a small party. I love them deep but also really wanted everyone to just sort of disappear for a little while. You know, how you usually feel on a Friday night that feels exactly like the last two dozen Friday nights.

I needed someone to complain to about how much I disliked everyone else at the party at that moment. Assure a cute redhead I vaguely recollected from one class and was drunk enough to launch into a little ranting without much of an introduction. Turns out she need to rant too.

39.First class on my first day in college, I see this beautiful girl waiting outside my class for the professor to unlock the door, and realise I have to be with her.

We started dating after a few weeks, and are married now.

Love at first sight.

40.We met at work! We get hired 6 months apart to design bridges and neither of us had ever designed a bridge before, although we had all the needed qualifications to make our boss believe we were capable of learning this.( In other terms, we were both fresh out of engineering grad school and had a strong background in analysis .)

Our desks were side by side, and we liked each other immediately. Our dynamic was very much” office spouse/ office spouse “. It stayed like that for two years. He was very good at designing bridges, as it turned out, and moved up speedily. I was merely ok at designing bridges, and was not moving up, so I took a chore in a different department( thankfully, I have moved up well here ), and after I left, we realized we missed each other, and started dating.

We live together now, and couldn’t be happier.( He still designs bridges .)

41.College my sophomore year. I was on the men’s lacrosse squad and she was on the women’s lacrosse team. It was the first week of school( I only transferred from another college) and I was sitting with a few people at lunch. She strolled in and I asked my friends who she was and they let me know. I said ” I’m going to end up marrying that daughter .” She had a BF of 5 years( afterward found out that he was a dick) at the time and some guy that plainly liked her said ” good luck trying to get that …” She eventually sat down at the same table as me and we chatted. Apparently one of the other girls on her squad let her know what I said about marrying her later that day. I received a text a few hours later from a random number and it was her. That’s where it all started. We were very good friends for a while and she eventually aimed things with her bf and we started dating a few months later. We have been together for 6 years and we are getting married next year.

42.She sat down next to me on the first day of grad school. We both were into Neil Gaiman and Modern Poetry. I let her borrow the first few trades of The Sandman.

After that we started hanging out more, I demonstrated her around the city( she was from out of township ). Bought her a develop pass with $20 on it, but I was slacken to make a move. If it wasn’t for her roommate saying,” Dude, guys don’t buy develop pass for you if they don’t like you ,” we might not be together.

Been together 7 years.

43.She was my waitress when I was out with some friends. I left my number( first and only time ever) she called and 19 years later we are still together.

44.I was really into Scott Pilgrim vs The World when it came out in theaters when I was in high school. Bought all the graphic fictions, find it 4 times in theaters, bought the soundtracks, and bought the video game when it came out. I was obsessed.

After classes aimed and as I would stroll to the bus, I noticed on occasion this daughter walking down the dorms wearing a Scott Pilgrim shirt. I had to meet this girl!

Well the day came during a field trip to Gettysburg and there she was wearing the shirt. I get so nervous, had to work up the heroism, and she was also with a friend who is best friend’s with my previous girlfriend. Oh boy this was going to be tough.

Ended up not being too bad. I asked her the obvious question if she was a Scott Pilgrim fan and we hit it off from there surprisingly. Even more a coincidence, when we got to the buses, all I wanted to do was talk to her more about Scott Pilgrim and we didn’t because she sat next to her friend but she was a seat behind me, this entire field trip. It was destiny.

Anyways we’re close to 8 years strong together and will watch Scott Pilgrim once a year.

45.We fulfilled online on this is something that cringey anime-themed roleplay website and have been together for 4 years and married now. We try to forget about the site but some times we reminisce and wince together.

46.His mothers bought the house next to my grandparents home when his mommy was pregnant with him and I was two. I assume that I satisfied him when he came home from the hospital? It’s not something I recollect, he’s just always been a part of my life.

There was a period of time where we hadn’t seen each other for over eight years, and one night I was Facebook stalking a second cousin of mine and my old childhood friend’s mommy popped up! Through her I detected him, reached out, and within three months we were dating. Next month we celebrate our third marriage anniversary.

47.We were in the same class for a program for people on welfare.

Soon after the conflicts aimed, I determined a task in the city. I recommended that she apply since we were still hiring, and she got hired too! Not soon after that, I helped her out by letting her know my home had a room open to rent( 1 house 5 bedrooms, I was a tenant ), and she moved in. I wasn’t seeking any kind of relationship with her.

One day I heard her chuckling while watching Youtube and it was the most beautiful and genuine laugh. I thought to myself “fuck”. A couple weeks later we were watching Stranger Things and we started holds hands and cuddling.

We’re getting married next year

48.Technically we shared a hospital room at birth. Both our moms were stuck together. My mom is his aunt’s best friend( 20+ years ). The session we remember came subsequently. About 6 years old. I told him he was ” super duper handsome” and leaned in to kiss him because I’d seen it on a show. He kicked me in the vagina and ran away.

The boy aimed up chasing me for years. We ultimately started dating at 18 and now 10 years and 2 beautiful sons later, we are still going strong!

49.In a hot tub. I was about 14 and her best friend was dating my best friend. I set my limb around her and said ” do you come here often ?” Knowing it was an extremely cheesy pickup line. Now, about 16 years later, I still use that line on her when she’s in the bathroom, in bed, in the kitchen…

50.I was very drunk at a house party in college and was building my way to the bathroom to run throw up when I insured a girl who just lost a drinking game, and had to chug a beaker of a bunch of different alcohols. She was like she actually didn’t want to, and I figured since I was going to go throw up anyway, I might as well do it.

Read more: thoughtcatalog.com

#couple stories #romance

[ltjlily17]

Your name, in lights

What do you believe happens to us after death? Nothing. Thats it, homie.

Have you ever cheated on someone? Nope.

What are your plans for this weekend? A friend may come over to play a board game Saturday afternoon and I’m going to ask them to help Steve get the window AC out of the upstairs window since it is now snowing. Being an adult is just a barrel of fun.

Does the thought of growing old frighten you? Not really.

What is the best movie you’ve ever seen? I think Seven Pounds and The Matrix had the biggest effect on me when I saw them. Also the Butterfly Effect, as well. I wouldn’t say any of them are my favorite movies, though.

Have you ever hurt someone for your own entertainment? Nah, I’m too anxious for any of that nonsense.

What is your favorite song of all time? Mayonaise by the Smashing Pumpkins or Wonderful Tonight by Eric Clapton

Has anyone you’ve known died on a holiday? Nope.

If you could write a book, what would it be about? Don’t know. Probably throw away fiction that hopefully had a good enough cover for some people to buy it.

Do you think most people understand you? Meh, probably not. That’s fine.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? I’d be less lazy? I feel like I was more of a go getter when I was younger and now I’m just so blah about everything.

What are some lyrics that speak to your soul? Uh, nothing at the moment. My soul doesn’t feel like talking lol.

Are you in love with anyone at the moment? Yep.

Have you ever been in love with more than one person at the same time? Hmmm. Yes, I think so. When I was a lot younger.

What is your favorite time of year? Fall.

What is your ideal first date? No idea. Don’t plan on ever having another one, so doesn’t matter anyway.

What is the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to you? "You have all of the qualities I look for in a vampire”

Do you have any taboo fetishes or preferences? Not that I am currently aware of.

What is the thing you are most ashamed of? Meh, nothing I can really think of at the moment. Anything I’ve ever done was for a reason to me at the time, and if it was awful, I’ve hopefully learned from it.

What is the emotion you seem to feel most strongly? I think an anger or hurt when I feel left out or passed up.

Do you think of yourself as a unique person? I guess so. I’m sure there are others like me out there though.

What is a movie from childhood that you loved? Steve and I were just talking about this last night since Disney+ launched. Cinderella and The Little Mermaid were my first favorites, but I also loved Bedknobs and Broomsticks, The Brave Little Toaster, The Aristocats, The Indian in the Cubboard and The Lion King.

Are you afraid of death? Yes. Most likely thats because I know its the end and that is scary.

What are your top three biggest fears, actually? Death, being replaced, falling. Oh, I also really worry about a bug flying in my hair and getting stuck.

Do you have an accent of any kind? I’m from the midwest so like the generic, non-specific American accent.

What do you want to be remembered for? Making people happy.

What is your favorite number? 17.

Do you have a favorite television show? If so, what is it? I don’t watch any shows that are currently airing, I don’t think. I just don’t have the patience to remember to watch something every week at the same time. I didn’t really watch any shows at all until my friends started buying some on DVD and then Netflix came out. I really liked My So-Called Life when I was younger and I watched Girls on HBO as it was ending.

Are you currently sad about anything? Nope.

What was your first job? CSR for a pizza place. I worked there for 15 years. 

And what job do you have now?

Stay at home dog mom, ha ha. I do not currently have a job. I should be doing this video interview thing for a job I’m applying to right now but I just don’t feel like it. Why do I have to submit a video interview in order to get an in person interview? I don’t like the idea of them judging me by how I look right out of the gate.

Have you ever changed your spiritual beliefs? Yah, they’ve progressed. When I was younger, it was “I don’t think I believe in some of this” and now that I’m older, its “I don’t think I believe in ANY of this.”

What is your favorite alcoholic drink? Wine that tastes like juice. Sweet ciders. Fresh tasting stuff- Gin with basil and lime or something like that.

Do you ever talk to yourself? Most of the time while I’m alone. If you don’t pretend you’re answering questions on a show or something when you’re alone, are you even alive?

Have you ever cried yourself to sleep in your adult life? Sure.

What do you think is the meanest thing you’ve ever said to someone? I don’t know. If I’ve said anything truly awful, I guess I’ve blocked it out. Or didn’t fully grasp the effect it had on the other person.

How do you celebrate your favorite holiday? Passing out handfuls of candy to strange children.

Do you have a favorite book? If so, how many times have you read it? I have a couple. Some books I read like once a year or so. Like oh this is this book season. Theres a couple of books I like that I’ve for sure read more than 10 times.

Do you have any teachers from the past who inspired you? Not really? It feels like everyone is supposed to have an inspiring teacher or adult in their life, but I don’t think thats really statistically possible. 

Do you prefer sad or happy music? Sad.

Speaking of which, what is your favorite genre? Indie folk? Thats what Spotify tells me. Rock, pop, indie, indie folk, things like that.

What is your best talent? Creatig things. You need artwork for your house? Large spiderman drawing? Birthday party decorations? 3 dimensional dinosaur racetrack for your D&D game? Some 3d printed figurines painted? A cupcake that looks like a certain thing? A cake with a character on it? No worries, I’ve got you.

Have you ever wished you were from another country? Not really. I have considered moving to a different country though.

What are you thinking about currently? Baking and this interview thing I have to do. Gotta change out of my pjs and everything.

What is the closest red thing to your body? Theres an empy fundip packet on the coffee table.

What is a subject that makes you uncomfortable to speak about? Um, I don’t know. I think its more about the company than the topic.

What is your favorite clothing store to shop at? Probably Anthropologie because they just started carrying plus sizes.

Do you have anything you are extremely particular about? Um, I’m either very particular or I don’t care at all, I think.

Have you ever seen the ocean? Yep.

What is your most fond memory of your current S.O, if applicable? Hmmm, I don’t know. We’ve been together for 10 years, so I’m not sure how I’d pick just one thing. We had a really good time in New York last year.

Do you find yourself confused often? Nope, not really.

What is your dream career? I really don’t know. I’m supposed to be spending my jobless time figuring that out, but where do you really even begin?

What was the best time of your life? Maybe like my early-mid twenties?

Have you ever been on a cruise? Yes, twice. We had a really great time both trips. 

Do you miss any of your exes? Nope.

Who would you like to say something to? No one?

Are you religious? Not at all.

Do you think you are attractive? Not especially. I think I’m good at picking out outfits and accessorizing though.

How many people have you slept with? Two.

Do you consider yourself a catch? Ha ha, I’m currently jobless, so probably not.

Do you enjoy naps? Nooooooo. Naps throw off my already fragile sleeping schedule and ruin my life for weeks.

What kind of sauce do you eat your chicken nuggets with? Ranch or ranch and hot sauce.

Are you happy? Occasionally.

What do you think you could do to improve your life? Be less lazy and procrastinately.

#carrotsandrhubarb survey robotsattack green bats

[purplesurveys]

101

#survey #surveys

[josephkitchen0]

Food Preservation Examples: A Guide to Food Storage

I tell my friends there are two types of people: preppers and those who laugh at preppers. Why is preparing for a rainy day such a laughable concept? Is it outrageous to think the misfortunes that happen to millions of people could happen to you? In this article, we’ll discuss food preservation examples. And we’ll do it simply, by answering seven questions: who, what, when, where, how, why, and to what extent?

Who Should Store Food?

Everyone who eats food and wants to eat it in the future. Those that want to save money. People who have enough money now but realize they might not have as much if situations change.

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In November of 2011, fierce winds toppled power lines, igniting drought-stricken grass and brush in a residential area of Reno, Nevada. Within twelve hours the fire destroyed thirty homes. School was canceled as police, fire, and paramedic units struggled to contain the blaze. One person died, over 10,000 people were evacuated, 4,100 homes were without power and the governor declared a state of emergency. The fire came within two miles of my house. As I entered my neighborhood supermarket I encountered enraged customers. Frustrated managers and cashiers explained that the store had depended on emergency generators since midnight and couldn’t power the freezers and coolers. All cold or frozen food was discarded per health code. Angered that they had nothing to cook for dinner, the customers blamed the store instead of the current emergency.

Anyone can be left without power for hours or even weeks. Blizzards can confine people for days and it’s been claimed that a local supermarket can only sustain a community for 72 hours. Sustenance declines if the supermarket has to discard half of its stock.

What Exactly is Food Preservation?

The basic answer to what is food preservation; extending your food beyond its natural life through freezing, dehydrating, root cellars, canning, freeze-drying or dehydrating, or converting into products which last longer.

My mother preserved food from her garden. She didn’t know how to freeze dry food, and freeze drying food at home wasn’t the option that it is now with modern equipment. She grew it herself and bottled it in mason jars through water bath and pressure canning. The meat we raised ourselves sat within freezers. We consumed the food through the winter and in the spring she planted again. It was what her pioneering great-grandmothers had done. And now that I have the opportunity to garden my own yard, it’s what I do.

But you don’t have to be the one preserving the food to take advantage of it. Canned food allows consumers to enjoy meals without from-scratch preparation and to keep food for a long time. Some companies specialize in ready-to-eat meals such as pasta and chili while others market for emergency preparation. You can dehydrate fresh produce or purchase it already dehydrated. Developments in vacuum-packing systems allow dried and frozen products to last at least twice as long. Freeze-dried food can be purchased in bulk or small quantities, or you can purchase appliances for freeze drying food at home. And though frozen products have a limited life, especially in disaster situations, they can help with shorter-term needs.

What Foods Should You Store?

Store the foods you eat.

My friend Danielle spent all summer bottling fruit from the local gleaning project. She made applesauce, jalapeno and habanero jams, and prickly pear syrup. Her apartment cupboards overflowed with mason jars. And though her three young children loved the peaches and pears, they weren’t fond of hot pepper jam. Then a series of thunderstorms and flash floods struck. When the power outage continued through dinner time, she realized she had stored the wrong food. Her hungry children could not go to bed on just prickly pear syrup and Danielle did not have a working stove until the electricity came back on. What she needed was dry cereal, canned meals and vegetables, and bottled water. After that incident she slowly stockpiled nonperishable food as she could, buying extra cans of pasta or bottles of juice when she had spare cash.

If you don’t own a grain mill and don’t sprout grains, don’t stock your pantry with wheat. If your aging parent cannot consume much sodium, don’t rely on soups and canned vegetables. Without a wood stove or a yard where you can build a fire, dry beans might be difficult to consume in long-term power outages. And certainly, don’t break your budget acquiring a year’s worth of food at once when you could spend $50 per month at sales.

For a week or two, record what your family eats and how much it costs. Out of that list, consider what can be stored through available methods. Now add in items to replace your favorite perishable products. Use that as your guide for building your supply.

One prepper website advises storing soft grains, beans, pastas and mixes, coconut oil, apple cider vinegar, powdered milk, canned meat/tuna/vegetables/fruits, peanut butter, tea and coffee, ramen noodles, and herbs and spices. Another website lists canned salmon, dried beans, brown rice, bulk nuts, peanut butter, trail bars, energy and chocolate bars, beef jerky, coffee/tea, and sea vegetables or powdered super greens. And Business Insider lists ten foods that would survive an apocalypse as honey, pemmican jerky, MREs (military-style meals ready to eat), hard liquor, peanut butter, Twinkies, rice, powdered milk, and ramen noodles.

Don’t forget to store what you enjoy, such as desserts and hard candy. Most situations where you need that food will be dismal and something sweet gives you a moment of indulgence during a hard time.

And especially don’t forget clean drinking water plus a way to acquire more.

When Should You Preserve Food?

Gardeners advise friends that they will be busy from August through October for food storage season. That’s when my garden pushes out the tomatoes, peppers, and squash. I harvest livestock year-round, with a lull in summer since 100-degree weather is bad for hatching chicks and pregnant rabbits.

But the best time to preserve food is when you can get the food.

Tactic #1: Grow the food yourself or align with local gardeners. When it’s ripe and ready, preserve it ASAP. If your tomatoes ripen slowly and you want to make a big batch of sauce, simply wash the fruit and stash it in freezer bags. Once the season is over you can thaw and cook down to a delightful marinara then bottle or freeze it.

Tactic #2: Buy seasonal produce and can, freeze or dry it yourself. This takes advantage of fruits and vegetables at their tastiest, cheapest, and most nutritious. In my section of the world that is usually June for strawberries, July for peppers, peaches, and corn, August for pears and tomatoes, and September for potatoes and onions as warehouses clear out last year’s stock in preparation for this year’s harvest. During holidays I can find sweet potatoes, winter squash, and cranberries at lower prices than the rest of the season. Instead of buying enough sweet potatoes to roast with butter and marshmallows I’ll stock up with twenty pounds and keep them in a cool, dry place for several months. If they start to go bad I’ll roast them then freeze.

Tactic #3: Hit sales and clearance racks. These happen year round and the trick is knowing where to go. Watch local ads for case lot sales. Scout out discount shelves. Since stores cannot sell spoiled goods or anything past the sell-by date, most food is still okay to use if frozen or dehydrated right away. Whenever I visit the supermarket I make my rounds and pick up items I can store and use. Bread reduced to a dollar per loaf resides in the freezer and comes out as the family needs it. Using this tactic we’ve enjoyed portobello stuffed ravioli with Parmesan cheese and artisan sausage for two dollars per plate.

Tactic #4: Purchase from food storage companies. Though some distributors offer 5-gallon buckets containing a month of dried goods, you don’t have to purchase all at once. As your budget allows, order fifty pounds of rice or a #10 can of flour. Gradually build your supply.

Where Do You Store Food?

I live in a two-bedroom Depression Era house. We have no pantry, garage, or basement. My home canning decorates bookshelves built into the wall. I converted a half-bath into a storage room by closing the toilet, setting shelves over it, and placing lightweight products atop. One freezer sits at the end of the breezeway, blocking a door we never used anyway, and another rests beside the dining room table.

If you don’t want a pantry in your living room, convert a closet or just put the food wherever you can. One friend built a platform from boxes of #10 cans in his family room, draped a rug over it, and set the sofa on top. My sister stacked bottled water in her apartment’s coat closet, set her shoes on top, and let her coats dangle over. Another friend stacks boxes, sets plywood atop, then drapes an attractive cloth to make an end table.

Winter squash, apples, and root vegetables should be kept in a cool, dark place. Chest or upright freezers can stay outside if sheltered from wet or extreme weather; a covered porch or carport is perfect if you trust your neighbors. Home canning withstands most temperatures above freezing, but remember that heat can decrease shelf life. Aluminum cans take the most abuse and dented products are still good as long as they haven’t been opened and are used before the “best before” date. Keep in mind factors like rodents, insects, humidity, dishonest neighbors and possible problems with weather.

How Do You Preserve Food?

Find the food preservation method that works best for you.

Home Canning: This method is best for homesteaders, gardeners and those with special diets. My friend Kathy pressure-cans soups because her elderly father cannot consume much sodium. When her father travels, he takes jars of soup so he doesn’t endanger his health with commercial food. If you want to can your own food, first educate yourself on safe methods. Home canning can save money but the initial cost is steep. New jars, lids, pots, and pressure cookers can quickly reach hundreds of dollars. Earthquakes or relocating to new homes can be hard on glass jars. For reliable instructions on how to can food at home, trust the Ball website.

Freezing: Probably the quickest and easiest method, this involves buying foods and stashing them at 0 degrees in freezer-safe containers. Frozen food is quickly thawed and can take minimal preparation, often without heating. Foods that are not safely home canned can be frozen. But though a fully stocked freezer can last up to a week in a power outage if the freezer isn’t opened, each moment without electricity compromises the food. If you want long-term and dependable storage, do not rely on freezers, especially if you live in hurricane-prone areas or anywhere with sketchy power service. Find out how to freeze different foods at Stilltasty.com.

Dehydrating: Home dehydrators cost between $20 and $300. Herbs, green vegetables, fruits, and some meats are safe to dehydrate then either consume dry or rehydrate later. Dried food weighs much less and packs into smaller spaces than foods preserved through any other method. But eggs are not safe to dehydrate at home and milk takes special care. Also, since no water remains in the food, consuming requires additional stored water to either rehydrate or to keep yourself from becoming dehydrated. Pickyourown.com has great tips for dehydrating.

Freeze Drying: Often freeze-dried food tastes better and lasts longer than dehydrated. And it weighs even less. You may wonder how to freeze dry food. But freeze drying at home requires either purchasing special equipment or following specific instructions using vacuum chambers and calcium chloride. If you want to learn how to freeze dry food, follow this link.

Canned Goods: If you spend more time at work than in the kitchen you’d probably benefit from buying food others have canned. Don’t feel guilty because your friend bottles her own tomatoes but you’re stuck paying the bills. It’s getting easier to find healthy canned products. They weigh more but survive the toughest conditions. In a true survival situation, you can acquire all the nutrients you need and even some water from canned foods. And remember to collect bottled water, either in single bottles, gallons, or huge containers.

Cold Storage: Though this is the shortest-term option, it can retain the most nutrients by keeping foods fresh and enzymes alive. Root cellars or basements prolong autumn produce for months. Some cheeses are cured in the same ambient conditions that keep potatoes from sprouting. Foods appropriate for cool, dry storage are root vegetables such as onions, beets, carrots, parsnips, potatoes, sweet potatoes, and garlic. Also appropriate are winter squash such as butternut or pumpkins. Apples last weeks to months in the same space though peaches and pears will go bad fast. If your potatoes sprout, cut off the sprouts and green parts. Do not use any food that is withered or weeps moisture. And trust your nose: if it smells bad, it is bad. If your food is starting age but is not yet inedible you can cook it then store it in the freezer.

Brining, Pickling, Fermentation: Often converting foods from one form to another unlocks additional benefits. Fermenting wine into vinegar makes it last years longer as long as the process is completed correctly. Though the lives of yogurt and kombucha aren’t significantly lengthened, the probiotics enhance digestive and immune systems.

Smoking Meats: A millennia-old method of preserving meat hasn’t lost popularity. Our methods have just gotten easier and tastier. Smoked meat won’t last years, but it’ll extend the life a little and in a delicious way. You can learn how to smoke meats at home.

There are even more food preservation methods such as vacuum sealing and reusable lids. Use whichever methods best fit your life.

Very important: Use and rotate your food so it’s always safe and nutritious when you need it. This is easy to do if you store what you like to eat. Buy a case of canned tuna, push the old case forward and place the new one behind. Some commercial racks rotate your cans as you place the new ones in the top of a chute and grab the bottom cans for dinner.

Why Should You Store Food?

Not all of us are preparing for manure to hit the fan. We know we might need this food even if the zombies never arrive.

Preserving the Harvest: You worked this hard to grow or raise the food. Don’t let any go to waste. Surplus cucumbers become pickles and a bounty of apples becomes sauce.

Natural Disasters: Earthquakes, floods, blizzards, hurricanes, fires. Weather so cold the town shuts down and the air hurts your face. Flooding that blocks the road.

Disruption of Food Supply: This can be a drought which raises the cost of food or a strike within the transport system bringing food to the grocery store. Problems within the store itself can cause food to sell out or spoil leaving insufficient supplies for the community.

Short-term Emergencies: Maybe you need to leave home fast and either you don’t have spending money or can’t use a credit card. A 72-hour supply in a portable container can alleviate at least one worry.

Lack of Mobility: Perhaps you live in a remote area and the price of gas just skyrocketed. Or maybe you’ve broken your leg and have nobody to drive you to the store.

Unemployment: I’ve known professionals who have been unemployed for over a year because they couldn’t relocate and their skill set wasn’t hiring. Unemployment benefits only pay a portion of what you previously made, and if you struggled to make ends meet in the first place simply not needing to budget in food can make a big difference.

Disability or Untimely Death: What happens if the main breadwinner in the family suddenly can’t earn bread and the secondary adult doesn’t have the skills or education to meet the cost of living? Food storage can help that adult until he or she acquires the necessary career or education.

Budgeting: Red bell peppers can be 4/$1 in the summer and $5.99 per pound in the winter. If you know you’ll need bell peppers, freeze or can them when they’re cheap. If a store has a closeout sale on a specific pasta brand, buy it in bulk. Plus, based on a proven history of inflation, it’s reasonable to acknowledge that foods will never be cheaper than they are right now.

Healthy Eating: We all know healthy ingredients can cost more than processed food. Often we don’t have time to prepare meals that meet health requirements. Cooking in large batches and preserving can save time and ensure we have what we need for optimal health.

Sharing: Maybe you’re not the one that needs the food. If a loved one hits rock-bottom and you have a good supply of food, you can help them out without spending additional money.

Personal Convenience: If you know you’ll use chicken broth often, keep a supply so you won’t have to run to the store if unexpected guests drop by for dinner. Meals are easier to plan if you already have the ingredients.

To What Extent?

72-hour-kits, also known as bug-out bags, take care of a single person’s need for three days. But hard times can last longer than that. Most prepper or self-reliant groups advocate keeping at least three months of food, including water and medications. Having a year’s worth is optimal for enduring long-term situations like unemployment or disability.

Preserve what you can. Do it when you can and however you can. And while others might laugh at you and accuse you of preparing for doomsday, laugh back as you remind yourself that, whether fire sweeps through your town or you have specific dietary needs, you’re secure. At least, your food source is.

What are your favorite foods to preserve and which method works best for you?

Originally published in 2015 and regularly vetted for accuracy.

Food Preservation Examples: A Guide to Food Storage was originally posted by All About Chickens