#anyway. Dean is eating all the time which we know is because he is ALSO heart broken. why can’t they just be nice | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

eisforeidolon · 5 months

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In regards to that post [X]:

We could talk about the same old fallacies - OMG, Dean's siren is a guy! Yeah, a brother. OMG, Dean was supposed to say I love you in the Crypt scene! Yeah, it was removed and replaced with what the writer explicitly said was the less OOC version of what he meant anyway, "We're family". We could talk about the blatant absurdity of statements like "Dean liked men it happened on my screen" which bear no resemblance to the SPN that aired. But we've done that before and others have got this reiteration of it well covered.

So I wanna focus for the moment on this particular even more repulsive gem: "Like he literally doesn't need to verbally tell us he's bisexual we just know. He may not know but we do. This is an unmovable fact sorry."

It tells us a few things. One, this person is a fucking idiot. Two, this person, yet again, thinks that ~*interpreting*~ sexuality from the way someone looks/stands/makes eye contact/eats pastry/whatever numbnuts conspiracy bullshit you like? Is more valid than how a character identifies and is identified by those who created him. People can just look at you and know what your sexuality is better than you do, there's nothing repulsive about that idea at all! I've got a mountain of shiny pennies that says if Dean had literally never interacted with a man for the entire span of the series, they would have insisted it was because he was so afraid of how much he wanted to fuck them. There was no way the writers could have written Dean that someone like that would have accepted as actually heterosexual, because that's not what they personally wanted, so that's not what they were going to see.

I'm not saying there aren't things that might be said about how relatively questionable some of the gay jokes in SPN are, especially in the early years in terms of making queerness a punchline. But if we're going to talk about that? We need to do it not only in the cultural context of 2005 rather than 2023, but in the context of portrayals of real world men - and particularly those in fairly rural settings who aren't going to be particularly conscientious in the way they rib each other. Which becomes a whole other discussion about where to draw lines when you're writing fiction and dealing with things that might be realistic but also potentially offensive.

Furthermore, I'm not saying there aren't things that might be said about how SPN continually used romantic tropes for platonic relationships and how it's not entirely absurd for that to land different with the audience when the characters are not blood-related. Except that discussion needs to include not just how maybe the writers shouldn't have treated it as such a joke that a relationship between two male characters might have been possible, but also how fans should absolutely not have equated a relationship being theoretically possible with any specific relationship they wanted being owed to them. Especially in the context of those romantic tropes being used so so so much more between brothers all the fucking time setting the tone. As well as how it's not just problematic to treat the possibility of homosexual relationships as a joke, but problematic to insist literally any closeness between two male entities is gay, reinforcing all kinds of nasty toxic stereotypes about sexuality and masculinity which underlay a lot of modern adult men's issues with expressing their emotions and having genuinely close and open relationships outside of their romantic partners. I've seen fans wonder how heterosexual dudes can watch this show and love the brothers' relationship without seemingly noticing the weird undertones of how claustrophobically intertwined they are, and I think it's very much that when it comes to wanting a fantasy of platonic closeness, they're looking for realism as much as most women reading trashy romance novels are - but that's a whole other digression and this is already too long.

At the end of the day, not only was SPN not created in the cultural context of Very Online Tumbrites in 2023, convinced that nothing should ever be is heterosexual and every fictional story should be about them and what they want? The fact their ostensible original point misses is the real world and most other media of 2023 aren't like that either! Some of these shippers come across like they've literally never seen two adult male friends interact with each other or any actual love stories in media - and it's not just early 2000's television characters getting this treatment from entitled shippers who want to use representation as a weapon against creators as to why they're owed things they absolutely aren't.

#destihellers #faux social justice #long post #Dean *exists* = OMG SO BI!

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waitmyturtles · 8 months

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Turtles Finds a Coping Mechanism: The Until We Meet Again Rewatches

I've been so committed to crushing through the Old GMMTV Challenge that I kind of didn't allow myself to think that life's blips and bloops would shake me from my pace.

Well, real life has SLAYED ME as of late, SLAYED ME, and as @lurkingshan has noted to me -- yes, there's a CERTAIN amount of dissonance for my watching UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN, OF ALL SHOWS, as a coping mechanism, but here we are. I wanted to copy @bengiyo and rewatch UWMA anyway as a means of preparing for New Siwaj's Absolute Zero, which will be premiering at the end of September -- a time when my life will be calm-ish (???) again -- so I decided to take the plunge to see if UWMA would be a salve to my frayed nerves. It is, it totally is.

So here's some stream of consciousness notes, quite unlike my usual comparative/analytical style, just to honor what a ridiculously fabulous show UWMA is. (In my OGMMTVC analyses, I don't always get to gush over the cute stuff anyway because my posts get so long, so I'm doing a little of that here, too, ha.)

I knew that as soon as I watched it the first time for the OGMMTVC that I desperately wanted to rewatch it, so I just gave myself the go-ahead to eat the leum kleun candy. I've already completed one rewatch and am well into a second rewatch -- this show is so damn good, and now that I know the beats much better, I'm just having a lot of fun seeing in-depth the little nuances I missed the first time.

1) On my first watch, I did not appreciate how clearly Pharm was into Dean from the very start. The way Pharm flips through the photos of Dean that Team sends him from the first beach trip; the photo of Dean eating Del's breakfast; the way Pharm looks at the Facebook photo of Dean holding up the leum kleun. And how Pharm reacts when he saves Dean's phone number in his phone -- that ENORMOUS grin. I knew a lot going in the first time about Pharm's blushing maiden approach and how he was gunshy with intimacy for so much of the show. But I forgot in those early episodes -- homeboy was really into his crush! Taking that secret photo in the library, etc. He acknowledged it pretty immediately -- especially in that whispered conversation Pharm has with Team and Manaow in their English class. I had also forgotten that the show began with Pharm possibly questioning his sexuality, but being solidly knowledgable that it was Dean that was causing him to catch feelings.

2) Speaking of that fleeting moment in the library: after having watched the entire series the first time around, and remembering that Dean had saved that very first Post-It that Pharm had used to write a quick note on the papers that Pharm gave back to Dean in the library in... episode 2? Pharm had originally erased his name on that Post-It. It didn't click with me until this rewatch that Dean was able to make out Pharm's erased name from that Post-It -- which caused Dean to save the note, and use it as reference in the very last scene of the series. So cute.

3) I finally took the time to read about Phra Aphai Mani, the prince of the legend that Dean and Pharm talk about in the aquarium. Remember how Pharm says to Dean that Pharm doesn't like players?

DUDES. HAVE YOU READ ABOUT PHRA APHAI MANI? I guess, like, yes, if you're gonna have a super-long epic poem, a lot of shit needs to happen, but Aphai just kept marrying WIFE AFTER WIFE! FOUR WIVES TOTAL! One ogress, one mermaid, and two maybe humans? A half-ogress son here, a half-mer/son THERE, prince of THIS, king of THAT. Homeboy's life was COMPLICATED! I'm all EXTREMELY SYMPATHETIC to chaos, but this takes the damn cake. (And maybe gives me a touch more context into what's happening with that second marriage in I Feel You Linger In the Air, without the actual monsters/mermaids.) (Oh man -- imagine the Only Friends version of Phra Aphai Mani.) (NO.)

4) The first time around, I kind of though that the bits about Alex hitting on Pharm were a little extraneous and maybe a touch unnecessary, à la New Siwaj's style. But after my first rewatch, I stopped thinking so, and I actually began to enjoy them -- not only for how ridiculous they are, but I also recognized that that was the first time in the show that we see Pharm establishing boundaries. Of course, we see Pharm in his blushing maiden era forming boundaries with his P'Deeeean. But the way he's very clear with Alex, putting up as many walls as necessarily, and being exact in his communication that he likes someone else and is VERY not into dating Alex -- Pharm showed clarity and strength there. While Dean clearly liked to care for Pharm and treat Pharm as his younger companion -- Pharm also had agency, and knew he owned his agency, and I liked how that agency was first demonstrated vis à vis Alex.

5) I totally forgot about this, but -- I think it was the second time they had breakfast together in Pharm's condo? the third? that scene where Pharm's wearing the yellow shirt and he drops the bowl -- remember when Pharm asks Dean if he's mixed-race? I don't think I still understand the meaning of that. I'm guessing Pharm is asking if Dean is Thai-Chinese? I want to think on this more, because -- in episode 16, when Pharm goes to his uncle's/grandpa's house, it is clear that the house is a Thai-Chinese household. There are banners with Chinese script on the walls. I wonder if that was meant to indicate that Pharm was under the impression that he himself (Pharm) was fully ethnic Thai -- but with his relationship to his dad's side of the family being more revealed, it would turn out that Pharm himself was also "mixed." I did think it was cute that Pharm said, "I like it" to Dean after Dean's answer -- another instance where Pharm was being clearly flirty, despite the whole blushing maiden thing.

6) I did not appreciate the first time around, how good Ohm Thitiwat's acting was in the car scene when he's processing Korn's suicide. At the end of the series, I was so taken by the condo scene that I failed to give props to other intense moments, and that car scene was one of them. When Dean arrives at the building where Pharm and Sin lived next to each other -- a part of me wondered if he had originally intended to visit Sin, before hesitating to knock on Pharm's door. I'm not sure, and I wasn't sure after this rewatch. But that was a hell of a recognition moment on the part of Ohm's acting, and it was really damn good. (In fact -- it was my thinking about that car scene, and my wanting to watch it again, that prompted these rewatches in the first place.)

7) It may have been a little confusing, but: I really liked that the Korn x Intouch flashbacks were never presented in chronological order. I liked that the show had Dean and Pharm piece together their dreams and nightmares to come to a collective understanding about the trajectory of Korn and Intouch's relationship, even before Dean receives the background information from Sin. I know I was always a little confused during my first watch as to what moment in time I was watching with Korn and Intouch, but I recognize now that that was a reflection simply of when Pharm and Dean were receiving the same information themselves -- and I liked that the viewer was going through the same process that Dean and Pharm were going through.

8) At the way beginning of the series -- episode 2, maybe? episode 3? -- I like that Dean slyly figures out where to park himself on campus to see Pharm coming out of class. This is before the electric transformer explosion. Dean already was so swayed by Pharm. So cute.

9) I think it first struck me as a touch weird that Manaow and Del (Dean's sister!) were the admins of the DeanPharm chat group. But now that I can think more about it -- I wonder if they were doing that maybe as a way to help Pharm through his hesitancy and protect him from the fans. That being said: one of my absolute favorite moments was when Del first leans about Dean's first sleepover at Pharm's condo -- the way she jumps up and down and tries to calm her smile down. I was CRAAACKING up.

10) Maybe it's because I'm Indian, and used to very large and complicated families, that the relationship between Dean being a part of Intouch's family and having Korn's spirit, and vice versa with Pharm, wasn't confusing to me. But what really got me during my first rewatch was: Fluke Natouch's just INCREDIBLE acting when Pharm first meets Intouch's sister/Dean's grandmother, and Intouch's niece/Dean's mother. When I first watched the scene of Pharm meeting Dean's grandmother, a number of friends commented on loving that scene as well. GOD. It struck me as hard the second time around as the first time. And I think I was even MORE moved the second time around to see Pharm meeting Dean's mother.

Dean's mother had to process a LOT in the moment that she met Pharm. She had to process that her son had a boyfriend, that that boyfriend was there in her house in the first place, and that she'd have to tell her husband (Dean's dad) that their son's boyfriend was sleeping over. AND, that was all BEFORE Pharm had his reaction to Dean's mom once he was finally awake and processing things again. And THEN, she knew that Dean HIMSELF would have to tell his dad the next day and ask for his blessing. Moms have to go through a lot (do I ever know that life), but that was a LOT for Dean's mom, and god, I just gained a new appreciation for those scenes and how Dean and Pharm managed the whole damn thing together. (Also, now that I've seen The Love of Siam, as well as, of course, KinnPorsche -- and, OH, Be My Favorite, too! Kob Songsit. LEGENDARY BL DAD!)

11) My initial flip-out on the condo scene still stands. During my rewatch, I rewound it, like... three times? Fuck, man. One of the BEST BL scenes, ever, ever.

12) I loved taking my time to watch the very final scene, when Dean and Pharm have had the same dream of Korn and Intouch thanking them, and they get back together. I really loved paying attention to how all the Post-Its came back, the meaning of Never Forget, all the little notes and memories of when they had first met. Intouch's ring, the very first note Pharm wrote to Dean, all of it. Dean was such a sentimental simp from the start.

(Because I'm on such a DeanPharm kick -- and I know this is against better advice, but -- I'm considering a fast watch of Between Us just to see DeanPharm's conclusion. I know! The side couples are supposed to be chaotic, but, but. Once I get more time.)

13) Last note. Again, when I have time again, I'm wanting to write a Big Meta on separation. I've noted in some of the most important GMMTV BLs, that separation is often a key theme. But I think Pharm asking for a break was also incredibly key, and keyed into his continued commitment to setting boundaries. I think I probably fell most for Pharm as a character with him doing this -- strange, I know, since I love DeanPharm incessantly, but his standing up for clarity for his feelings meant so much for the internal strength he had gained by surviving the ordeal they had gone through. He was going to stick to his guns to make sure the relationship was authentic FOR HIM, and he did just that.

GOD, THIS WAS CATHARTIC! If you read this, thanks for going through this with me! I'm addicted to writing and this was a fun break in the midst of life chaos. I promise the OGMMTVC will hopefully continue without interruption, but that being said -- I'm watching Not Me, slowly, and having a great time with it. But UWMA is my woobie at the moment, and I just love having fallen in love with this show.

#until we meet again #uwma #until we meet again meta #uwma meta #uwma rewatch #deanpharm #fluke natouch #ohm thitiwat #new siwaj

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saltygilmores · 7 months

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Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls- Season 2, Episode 22 (Last Episode of the Season). "I Can't Get Started" Part 4

Aaaaand we've finally arrived at the finish line for Season 2. I began recapping this season on November 25th, 2022, the day after Thanksgiving...310 days ago. SaltyGilmores! SaltyGilmores! Can you tell us a little about how you're feeling as you prepare to begin season 3?

You ever watch a Stars Hollow crowd scene on Gilmore Girls and go, who the hell are all these people and where did they come from?

This is so ridiculously corny and cute. This is what we live for. This is what Gilly Girls is all about. You ever see some of the spicy tight and low cut blouses Lane wears on this show and wonder how Mrs Kim ever allowed her out of the house? I'm asking the important questions today.

R: I'm about to cheat on your ass so hard your head will spin. I am gonna kiss my stepcousin so hard.

D: (pointing to Miss Patty, Babette, and the Stars Hollowans gathered around the piano) How many cocktails caused that? R: None, but when they start drinking we're going to have to hide you. One of ASP's favorite recurring jokes is the one where Miss Patty, left to her own devices, would inevitably try to force herself sexually onto Jess and Dean; it's unclear in this scenario whether that is the threat or if it's "we're gonna have to hide you or she'll make you sing.". But I can take a guess here.

There's another sexual predator who loves tall pretty teenage boys lurking around this wedding that you should be more concerned about.

Dean gets a "We're calling to discuss your car's extended warranty" call and pretends it's someone important on the line so he can keep fooling Rory into thinking he actually has a life. Uh, anyway, it's Paris? Calling Dean's phone? Alright.Rory asks Paris how she got Dean's number but It's never explained. Paris is a wizard.

Sookie is having her wedding on a Friday afternoon. It is a Friday and Rory is not in school (AGAIN!), Dean, Lane and Jess are not at school (AGAIN), Rory is missing ELECTION DAY at school where she may potentially be elected Vice President, Lorelai is not working and making Michel fill in for her, there are dozens of other people attending this wedding who are not working, IT'S A FRIDAY AFTERNOON NO ONE IS WORKING (EXCEPT MICHEL) OR GOING TO SCHOOL THEY'RE ALL AT THIS WEDDING. Also, everyone is DRUNK on a Friday afternoon. Well I can't hate on that. What else is there to do in the Hollow besides drink away your troubles? Headmaster Charleston: Miss Gilmore, would you care to explain these multiple unexcused absences? Rory: Well, two weeks ago I ditched school to take a bus to new york city to eat wieners with my cousin and this week I skipped school to go to my mother's friend's wedding which she scheduled for the middle of the afternoon on a Friday, and I had to stick to my agenda of going to the wedding and kissing my cousin. Paris doesn't directly say that GellerMore won, but Rory thinks it's implied (and we already know they win). She proceeds to notifiy Dean. Who is just...over the moon upon hearing the news.

Well...okay. Fine. I'll take it. Where's the angry posseiveness? Like the time Rory wanted to spend time away from him volunteering? Or spend one night away from him doing her laundry? Or spend an hour eating lunch with Jess? Or.. It's probably because this time there are witnesses around, although that would imply Dean actually has some level of self awareness that his behavior is inappropriate. Speaking of Inappropriate...

Well, that answers THAT question.

...Says the sexual predator, as she drools over him like a dog eyeing a well cooked 6'4 steak.

Don’t drag my girl Babette into this, she's devoted to her Morey. Unlike you two beasts, Lorelai and MP, she has some standards).

Chris Hansen would have a field day at this wedding with all these predators in one place. Why does Crusty's suit look like it's incredibly ill fitting? Maybe it's just me.

STOP IT!!!! I COMMAND YOU TO STOP IT!!!

Lorelai and Crusty are shamelessly swapping spit in the middle of her friend’s wedding reception, sullying the virgin eyes of Rory and a minister and Sookie and God and Lane and everyone else. Lore to Crusty: Stop looking at me like that or everyone here will think we did it! Pretty rich coming from soneone who looks at Dean Forrester the same way. I HATE that I'm recapping this FILTH and don't know WHY I'm doing it. Crusty (before Lorelai's parents walked up and mercifully interrupted them) Do you feel embarrased about last night? Sorry about it? Want to repeat it?

IN FRONT OF HER GOSH DANG MOTHER/GRANDMOTHER OF HIS CHILD. Disgusting, filthy, shameless psychopaths.

Dat's a good question.

I mean, it's a half truth, at least. Now you wanna tell your Mom how he used his daughter's medical appointment as a springboard to dive straight into your pants?

Has he now? Golly gee whillikers, I must have missed that part, must've happened in between all the rounds of projectile vomitting I've been doing.

Lorelai, with the world's worst poker face as she daydreams about her next Crusty Porking, convinces Emily that Christopher is only here to spend more time with Rory and Emily is like well isn't that nice. Are we really supposed to believe Emily is that fucking stupid?

Let's check back in with some of the more non-loathsome residents of the Hollow. Take it away Kirk! Then take ME away. Please.

Rory, for your own sanity and wellbeing, please keep your mind unsullied and pure and don't ask your crusty father questions like this.

Oh Rory. Oh my poor sweet innocent bubs, Rory.

Nobody owns calendars in the Hollow, I suppose. Please see my throbbing, rock hard photographic proof above that this wedding is happening on a Friday. (Not to mention, if it was Sunday...Paris is at school?) I will have to squeeze the remaining four minutes (The Jess Minutes) into one final post. After I mop up my barf. Toodles.

#gilmore girls #denise rewatches gilmore girls #gilmore girls season 2 #rory gilmore #crusty #DALA #anti dean forester #anti crusty #I cant get started

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jenyifer · 3 months

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Pit Babe ep 6 initial reaction

So I recently got back from a trip to Korea and Japan in January (which is why I’m watching everything late cause couldn’t watch it there). Hardcore studied Japanese for 7 years Koran for 3 years. Can read to a decent level in both. Now started my Thai Bl stuff? Maybe 2 years ago when I watched KinnPorsche. I have not actively tried to learn Thai. So why is my auditory understanding of Thai at the same level as Korean. I keep hearing changes from the subs on iqiyi. This is why when I was in Korea and Japan I kept accidentally speaking Thai? 😭😭 anyways onto the photo review.

Is it crazy babe is that good without his abilities? As far as I can tell he hasn’t been using his skill since he started seeing Charlie. Also feel like this is great meme potential.

Very very very harsh Alan. He doesn’t really give Dean any advice on achieving his goals. Also I think Dean was angry when he was racing Babe and Charlie. Seems like if Alan had more practice maybe he’d feel more comfortable

Way is moving through the stages of grief. Acceptance of the enemy. Way kept treating Charlie like he was replaceable. Also babe was looking hella tiny in this scene. Specifically when he was going down the stairs

Couple things that annoy me about this scene.

1. Jeff doesn’t eat or drink. Look at that milk shake and cake. Come on a tiny nibble? It’s good for the baby.

2. Love Actually in my opinion is one of the weakest romance films of all time. It’s sad the porn couple Martin Freeman and Johanna Page were the sweetest one. But the paper holding scene I found fucking creepy? Her husband kids etc are inside and that’s why the guy is doing the paper signs. Romantic? No. Traumatizing kids on Christmas? Yes.

3. Is Jeff a Uni student? Because… I think Way said he’s known Babe for 7 or 10 years. Which means Alan has to be in his 30s and Babe Way are 25 or 28? Idk concerning age diff at least for Jeff and Alan. Also Alan has a bad case of No means No, but I guess very abo.

Babe’s actor is so Beautiful and convincing at being in love with Charlie. He’s so soft and cute. However suggesting babies is fucking weird Charlie. Maybe it’s cause I don’t want any but seems a bit strange but no kink shaming babe and Charlie can have a mommy kink if they want.

“Why don’t we do it in the road?” By The Beatles

I think I’m just too American South brained because my reaction to this is it’s not cute. A rural road would definitely have road kill splatters and broken glass. Also I’d be worried someone would come out of their house and shoot me to death and that’s before they find out I’m of the LGBT+ variation of human.

I actually think the one I like is called Sonic. Oddly not the one who wears blue? But anyways style icon legend got checked by Dean for doing work? They didn’t seem to be doing the social media thing but helping in the garage so not fair he is taking his frustrations out on them. Also Sonic and North should have an opinion on Charlie joining. Wish we could know if they are friendly with Charlie or not. We do see them also at the party but Charlie is so babe focused I guess they don’t exist but they should be closer to his age.

Awwww Babe is taking the boyfriend title seriously trying to look out for Jeff now. But Jeff sees some bad shit but he just doesn’t share it with us. What’s Charlie’s ability? I guess something with his mouth and that’s why he can by pass Babe’s no’s

Babe was a bit heartless to Way. I mean Way made it clear what kind of simp he was for Babe. I get that Way was Babe’s first friend and he’s very attached to Way for that reason but Babe does have Alan too. I feel like when Way asked for Babe’s necklace then Babe should have said hey just so we clear besties. But then again idk how socialized Babe was at that point.

#pit babe the series #pit babe bl #pit babe #pit babe ep 6 #pit babe episode 6 #charliebabe #alanjeff #Jenny’s watching

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luwritesomething · 1 year

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Dean Winchester x Reader: worrying chronicles.

Warnings: Swearing (probably), angsty?? but not really. John Winchester mentioned throughout the whole thing.

Tags: a bit angsty but with happy/fluffy ending, childhood friends, can be read as romantic, romantic coded, hunter!reader, reader has known sam and dean since kids, season 1, pre-season 1, can be read as black reader, can be read as plus size reader.

Reader pronouns: Non stated.

Word count: 1036

Summary: Dean calls reader and tells them he’s going to Stanford to get Sam. Reader wants him to rest.

Author’s note: I rarely ever write for Dean! Not because I don’t like him (I LOVE HIM), but because since I haven’t finished the show (i’m on season 8) the requests have to be either pre-show or within those seasons. Anyways, Dean and Sam Winchester requests are open, but with those conditions !! love my boys <3 graphic made by me (CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW PRETTY HE IS?)

You weren’t doing anything special when Dean called, you were planning foods and cooking weeks in advance. The hunter life you had led all your life had taught you enough to know homemade foods were a privilege, and that new hunts would always come into your life without a warning, wrecking all your plans. So, after those terrible, almost death experiences you liked to call a work well done, it was nice to go back home and find your fridge full of frozen food you could just heat up and eat.

It was the ringing of the phone that made you lift your gaze up from the vegetables you were cutting so carefully, your movements coming to a halt in order to not lose a finger without it being in a worthy battle. You didn’t let go of the knife as your hand, after slightly cleaning it against your jeans, came to grab the cell phone on the counter. Barely glancing at the name from whom the call was, you pressed the device against your ear and continued with your work.

“It’s me.” You answered quickly, hearing the background noise from the other side of the line. It was easily recognizable, considering you were able to recognize the noises Dean’s Impala made even in your deepest sleep. Perks of being friends. “Y’know, you shouldn’t make phone calls while driving.”

“I can do two things at once.” Dean said with a little huff, and even though you were probably a good amount of miles apart, you noticed the way his voice didn’t sound the same. He had never been good with masking his worry, and you had never been good at not worrying about him.

You stopped cutting slowly and moved away from the counter. If something had happened, you couldn’t have your attention split in two. “Yeah, you tell that to the cops… Is everything alright?”

A beat of silence, which Dean used to avoid your question. “I’m driving to Stanford to go get Sam.”

“What?”

The silence let you know Dean wouldn’t be repeating himself, but thankfully enough he stayed on the line, waiting for your amazement to reduce. You had known the Winchesters for years — Hell, you three had practically grown together. It had been some long time ago, but you still remembered like it was yesterday the phone call you received from Dean to tell you that Sam had given up on the hunter life and basically left home after a big argument with their dad, John Winchester. You also remembered Sam’s call, after Dean’s, telling you the news. It hadn’t hurt from Sam’s part, knowing that was what was best for him, but it had from Dean’s, since he hadn’t been able to accept that his brother leaving had nothing to do with him.

You wanted to tell Dean that dragging Sam back into a life he did not want was not what he was supposed to do as a brother, but your mind went into another direction, knowing he wouldn’t accept that lesson from you; or anyone. All these years, Dean had been working wonderfully with his father, or so he made it look like — if he needed Sam, something bigger was happening, and he wasn’t completely avoiding telling you.

“Why?” You asked finally, your hand coming up to pinch the bridge of your nose. Was a headache coming your way already?

“My dad’s on a hunting trip.” He replied quickly, and something in the way he said it told you he had rehearsed those same words a lot. Not because of being untrue, though, you knew John had gone on a big trip on his own for some reason Dean either didn’t want to tell you or didn’t know about. “He hasn’t called, he hasn’t said anything. I don’t know crap about him.”

That was bad. John could be an asshole, but his rules during a lone hunt were unbreakable, and those included informing constantly about his whereabouts. “Have you asked Bobby? Maybe he—”

“No one knows anything.” Dean interrupted you, rather abruptly. He was truly worried, and you just hoped he wouldn’t lose sight of the road ahead of him. “Nothing, none, nada. I’m getting Sam, and we're going to find where the hell he is.”

“Dean, wait.” Your glance shifted to the clock in your kitchen, your hand closing in a nervous fist. “It’s too late. You should rest tonight and go tomorrow morning, early.”

You could almost see him shaking his head. “We can’t lose time.”

“What is going to change if you arrive tonight at Stanford?” You insisted, rolling your eyes at how strong headed he was. Years together, and you still were amazed at how little he listened. “Dean, you’re in no condition to drive. You’re tired and nervous, just drive to my place, and then tomorrow—”

He called out your name rather harshly, to make you stop. “I have to find him.”

“And you will. Just come and rest, De.”

Your eyes glanced again at the clock when silence and the noises from the road were the only thing you could hear. Dean was really good with his car and he didn’t drive badly, but when he was worried things changed — you had been in enough almost accidents for you to have good reasons to not want him so late in the road. And he knew you were right, but the decision was on his hands, and it couldn’t help but irk you slightly.

You could still push it, though. “Please?” You murmured, loudly enough for him to hear it but also low enough to be able to be lost in the distance between you.

Dean clicked his tongue, and then sighed. “I’m fifty miles away. Don’t wait for me, I’ll climb through your window or something.”

“I’ll wait.” You retorted, with that voice you used to show you were completely adamant about your decision. It wasn’t difficult to hear the little huffed chuckle he let out, and it made you ease up, to know he was finally slowing down and rationalizing things. “Don’t run too much, dickhead.”

With a little scoff, Dean hung up and you found yourself smiling at nothing at all.

#dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester imagine #dean winchester fic #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester x you #supernatural #supernautral season 1 #season 1 #supernatural pre-season 1 #pre-season 1 #sam winchester #writing #my writing #lu writes #i love dean winchester with my whole heart #childhood friends #jensen ackles #jensen ackles supernatural

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youchangedmedestiel · 2 months

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My thoughts just after finishing Supernatural

One year ago on this exact same day I finished SPN. I watched 15x18, 15x19 and 15x20 in a row. I just ate dinner between 15x18 and 15x19 (weird dinner). After watching episode 15x20, I wasn't that pissed off about the end. It changed now, because I got the time to think about it.

See, I knew Cas wouldn’t appear in the last two episodes, but somehow I still hoped that the deal with the Empty wasn’t the reason, because he deserved to be happy. As I progressed through season 15 I felt it coming, even though I was hoping until the last second. And when I got to episode 15x18, I understood that it was this deal that was going to kill him but I didn't know how. That confession scene destroyed me but anyway I went to eat my dinner while being destroyed and then I came back to SPN to watch the last two episodes, knowing I wouldn’t see Cas anymore.

Then came episode 15x19, I've read often that people prefer to ignore 15x20 and I can totally understand (Dean deserved to live free and happy), but 15x19 is NOT a satisfying ending for me, because Cas is still in the Empty (well maybe not, but we don’t know that yet) and I just can’t, he can’t stay there, dead, I can’t accept that.

This is what allows me to appreciate 15x20 a little bit. But it’s not the only reason, because in this last episode I spotted several empty bottles of alcohol in Dean’s room and you all know why. He misses Cas, for sure, at least it’s my headcanon because I need it. Plus, he doesn’t stay long alive after Cas’s death, there is no real timeline. He couldn’t ask Jack to bring him back because Jack told them he wouldn’t intervene anymore and left. So maybe their hopes to get Cas out without Jack were at zero. But I’m sure Dean searched in the bunker’s library when he had the time to before he died. He searched for a way to get Cas out. And then he died (unfortunately, it still hurts).

Which brings us to episode 15x20. The end of SPN is “good” in a sense that Dean wanted Sam to have a life, a normal apple pie life, so it’s a happy ending for that, because he achieved his goal but HE DESERVED to have that too, for himself, that or anything he wanted, not only for his little brother but FOR HIM AS WELL.

AND ABOUT CAS? Well about Cas, especially the crumbles we got with “Cas helped” I totally understand why people feel pissed about it, I kind of feel like that too now. But when I first saw this scene, I was happy to hear about Cas because I already knew he wasn’t in the last two episodes so I wasn’t going to be as disappointed as people that waited to see the episode when it aired.

We learn that Cas remade Heaven (with Jack’s help) to do a Heaven Dean deserves, and I - for me it was like Cas fucking succeeded to give Dean what he deserved. He not only saved his life multiple times, but also told him he loved him, made him believe that he did and gave him freedom (for a short amount of time, I’m really pissed about that for sure and I’m sure Cas is too, like he wasn’t expecting him so soon) but he also changed Heaven for him, to make one he deserved.

HE CHANGED THEE ENTIRE HEAVEN FOR THE MAN HE LOVES. I’m going to cry writing this, because that’s like the greatest love story ever told. And yes I would have done things differently, but I can’t and with what they gave us I do what I want. And we have an angel of the Lord, that rebelled against Heaven and that was dead, being back and building a new Heaven for Dean to enjoy eternity with the people he loved. He knew Dean was made of love and he needed a space to express it, and Cas gave it to him (with Jack of course) but damn *typing with tears in the eyes* that still hits me soooo damn hard. Because when someone love you enough to tell you they do without excepting something in return, sacrifice themselves while doing it without having an answer about whether their feelings are requited, and remake Heaven for you to have the afterlife/eternity you deserve, nothing can beat that. THIS here, this is what grabs my heart and clenches it every damn time. The greatest love story ever told. No one, NO ONE can change my mind.

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absolutebl · 2 years

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400 BLs, My 40 Favorite Moments

So the spreadsheet of doom (which I use to track all the BLs I’ve watched or attempted to) just officially tipped into the 400 BLs mark.

In honor of this momentous event (in my life):

Here are my...

40 Favorite BL Moments!

in no particular order, with no rhyme no reason, and I didn’t allow myself to pick all kisses (but I probubly could).

1. We Best Love’s drunk make out desperation scene in season 2. I know others have issues with the dub-con in this scene, I am not one of those people. I also love their first kiss, the bits with the mother, and the hand in the wrist. But this drunk desperation moment is one of my all time favorite scenes ever filmed.

2. Gu Hai’s OBEY sweatshirt in Addicted (closely followed by the casual robe- flashing scene, the pull-up scene, and also the kicking mom out of the apartment scene). Look, I love this show, okay? OBEY (I want that shirt SO MUCH.)

3. The hands on the color wheel in Color Rush. THE HANDS, OMG.

4. Semantic Error, the dart scene. THE DART SCENE. Also the bit where JaeYoung freaks out because he thinks SangWoo is injured when he’s actually the one hurt. Oh and the bit where JaeYoung peeks over the wooden divider, like a cat. Oh and “subscription service.” And “don’t eat lettuce.” And...

5. Nice Sword in World of Honor. Also the bottle caress and the “I will kill whoever hurt you.”

6. Until We Meet Again the scene where Dean publicly claims dating Pharm and drives Alec off. (I also like it when he does it with Pharm’s brother over the ipad. And when he owns up to dating a boy to his grandmother. In fact anytime Dean is proud to claim Pharm, I’m happy.)

7. King handing Ram the flower in My Engineer.

8. Adachi saves the business deal with Mont Blanc in Cherry Magic.

9. The confession realization scene in Seven Days. Also when Yuzuru shuts up the hecklers in archery class.

10. The cameo guest appearance of HaoTing XiGu (from HIStory 3) watching the Northern lights in Life: Love on the Line, alive and well and still together. Ironic that it took Japan to give these characters an HEA.

11. Ae punching Trump in Love By Chance. Another one where there are a lot of iconic scenes but Ae stoping the punch and then hitting back, just wonderful.

12. 2 Moons Kit: “I’ll kick your ass.” Ming: “Can you reach, Phi?”

13. The hands on the train in Make it Right.

14. HaeBom hop-hugging TaeSung in Cherry Blossoms After Winter.

15. Touch flirting with Daisy in the noodle stall in Secret Crush On You.

16. ShinWoo’s confession in Light On Me. “I will continue thinking about you.”

17. Sucking the blood off the finger because he just can’t help himself. HOTEST THING EVER. Utsukushii Kare of course.

18. Fixing the dangerous edge of the shelf in the kitchen for clumsy seme in My Sweet Dear.

19. Removing the mask in Gameboys.

20. Tine and his single celled organisms (friends) drunk in Still 2gether.

21. Aoki gets inside trash bag in Kieta Hatsukoi, the meme generator to end all meme generators.

22. Taking care of baby’s knee during volleyball away camp in HIStory 2: Crossing the Line.

23. Forth & Beam in the pickup truck in 2 Moons 2.

24. The belt in My Day the series. Oh did you miss that bit?

25. I didn’t pick many kisses because I pick my favorites every year, but this is a special one for me. The blood spattered post fight kiss in Long Time No See.

26. The kitchen make out scene in Cutie Pie.

27. PeteKao and Pete’s dad scenes in general in the Kiss series and Dark Blue Kiss.

28. The dorm sleep-over puppy pile in Nitiman.

29. The pride sequence in Not Me.

30. “I’ll come to you” in To My Star.

31. "I nearly threw a sauce bottle at your phi’s head” in Tharntype.

32. Pitch claiming Bank in front of the girls in Golden Blood.

33. There’s only one bed but they end up sleeping together on the floor together anyway in Be Loved In House: I Do.

34. Na’s sunglasses in Tonhon Chonlatee.

35. Arthit’s arm claim with friends at the party in SOTUS. Also the girl with the crush on Kong realizing he’s taken and by whom in SOTUS S (drunk at the beach get away).

36. Solo’s voice in Oxygen, just yeah, when he lowers it to talk to Gui.

37. The dance product placement offering scene in Gen Y.

38. That coming out sequence in the gym in He’s Coming to Me.

39. “You can kiss me, hyung” in Some More.

40. The hands letting go in Love Sick.

Honorable Mention (BL action in “non” BL shows):

“I love you so damn much” in Puppy Honey 2.

OuWen & Mark’s sex scene in the hotel in Love is Science?

K.O. in the suit scene in Love 020.

Advance Bravely playing phone games in bed.

The bomb flirt in Devil Judge.

(source)

#thai bl #taiwanese bl #top bl #top bl moments #favorite bl #japanese bl #korean bl #vietnamese bl #pinoy bl #best bl #best bl moments #recommended bl

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michelleelizabethtanner · 8 months

Note

Do you think Beth really believed Rio was coming after them after the truck thing in 1.09? I always just assumed she was jumping to conclusions and was so far out of her depth ("He looked at me funny"), but was there something else to it? Did she really want to take him down deep down?

Hi Anon! Thank you for the ask! Idk if I have a super good answer though. I’ve always considered this scene more based on the mistakes Rio made in underestimating Beth’s reaction. IDK why I haven’t thought more in-depth about why she behaved the way she did.

Unless I’m misremembering, everything in that episode showed her anger, and none of her actions around Rio signified fear. I don’t think she was even jumping to conclusions about what he might do to them. I think she was just mad. Yet another man putting her in her place, taking away her power and her financial “security” because he decided her life for her. So she retaliated. Her “we’re good people” excuse was just a cover to get her girls on board. It’s the line she uses all the time to manipulate people (including Rio.) “I’m a good person. I’m a mother. I eat at P. F. Chang’s.”

The fact that this woman can never think through the consequences of her choices surrounding Rio truly astounds me. She cannot be so stupid to blindly lash out and expect nothing to happen to her. I’ve been kind of thinking about this irritating aspect of her behavior. The ways in which she hurts Rio over and over, even once she sees the actual hurt on him, she doesn’t stop. Contrast that with how she enables Dean over and over, who has a proven track record of lying to her and actively harming her. So it makes so little sense why she would lash out, even contrary to her own wellbeing, in this particular situation. She couldn’t have expected that he would be imprisoned forever just because she gave up some laundering details. So what then? Was it a cry for his attention? A cry to be seen? It’s gotta be. Her nihilistic tendencies come through so strong around Rio. He brings it out in her. So it’s like she doesn’t even care what happens to her, as long as he keeps looking at her, as long as she’s feeling that power he makes her feel.

Which brings us back to what was so polarizing about Beth to so many viewers — she’s selfish af. She doesn’t want to be. She’s torn. She keeps thinking if she just does one more shitty thing to Rio, she will prove her goodness to the universe. Prove that she’s worthy of having a husband who’s faithful, and children who don’t struggle with emotional disorders, and friends who choose her even over their own husbands. This woman has been abandoned and scarred so deeply in her formative years that she’s absolutely desperate to matter and to be chosen. (Kinda like someone else we know.) But Rio seems to be her one “safe space” to be herself. “Just being myself.” And while that may sound romantic (and it IS), it’s also toxic af because for her to be “herself” she has to all the time behave abusively (ugh, I hate that word because it isn’t quite accurate to their dynamic but idk what other thing to call it… maybe retaliatory?) toward Rio. He feeds the monster that she hides from others. He isn’t a “good person” so it’s fine for her to take her trauma out on him. And he keeps coming back for more. And he keeps wanting her despite it. It’s that good old cycle of abuse, continually perpetuated. They find so much warped validation in each other they can’t quit.

Anyway, I went off on a tangent. Sorry about that! These asks are so helpful in getting me back into a Brio state of mind. Reminds me how I love analyzing them. 😊 Makes me wanna not work and write Brio stories (that I’ve been stagnant on for like 2 months now 😩)

#gg 1.09 #what you and I had is done #over #go home Elizabeth #people who are afraid their crime boyfriend might hurt them don’t throw keys in his face #asks #brio psychoanalysis #headcanon #nbc good girls #brio

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mlobsters · 11 months

Text

supernatural s4e19 jump the shark (w. andrew dabb, daniel loflin)

episode should be titled 10 more reasons to hate john winchester

seinfeld s5e22 the opposite - dedee pfeiffer as victoria

another tiny role on seinfeld that i know well because i saw them all enough and at a time when my brain was better at recording things.

okay but also? i think i know her from cybill?? which i probably haven't thought of since the 90s. and sometimes i wonder how i originally knew actors like say, alicia witt and christine baranaski and something like this drags it up from the depths

cybill (1995-1998) dedee pfeiffer as rachel blanders

okay but back to dean getting shat on. dear old dad wanted to give one of his kids a normal life and take him to baseball games and go camping that didn't involve killing monsters. aw, that's nice. except for all the gross child neglect of his kids he was supposed to be fulltime sole caregiver of. granted he didn't get involved in this kid's life until sam was away at college so it's not like the nice things happened simultaneously to the neglect. still hate you, man. and the recap made sure to remind us of how john treated sam's going to college.

that look sam gave adam after dean loses paper scissors rock was cute. was feeling the sibling vibes.

also got me considering the logistics of man sized ventilation inside this random house.

sam giving this kid the dad and dean no friends no life routine is something. remember this little exchange at the gas pump:

s1e6 skin:

SAM: So, what am I supposed to do, just cut everybody out of my life? (DEAN shrugs.) You’re serious?

DEAN: Look, it sucks, but in a job like this, you can’t get close to people, period.

SAM: You’re kind of anti-social, you know that?

but also harkens back to when dean was just trying to keep everyone alive while the other two were hellbent on self destructive revenge. which dean has been selling sam is just like dad and that's why they don't get along since then, but i'm not quite sure i buy that.

from s1e22 devil's trap:

Sam: We want to kill this demon. You used to want that, too. Hell, I mean, you’re the one who came and got me at school! (Dean scoffs) You’re the one who dragged me back into this, Dean. I’m just trying to finish it!

Dean: Well, you and Dad are a lot more alike than I thought, you know that? You both can’t wait to sacrifice yourself for this thing. But you know what? I’m gonna be the one to bury you. You’re selfish, you know that? You don’t care about anything but revenge.

that line about being the one to bury you lives rent free in my head.

i mean, i get what he's putting down in regards to his revenge quests, but i don't think there's a lot of similarities outside that. maybe because i like sam and john was a child neglecting piece of garbage. that is definitely a big blinder for me 🥴

i'm sure people enjoyed all that uh, excessive wound fingering and such with sam.

but my issue is those very significant cuts through his forearms and he's all fine and dandy in the next scene. he'd have some wicked number of stitches. and i guess nothing major was cut. just fleshy bits that dean can sew back up? i know, medical accuracy is way way WAY down on the list. but when they focus on the volume of blood he's losing so rapidly, i can't help but start to think of the logistics! anyway, made me think about hannibal's big ass scars in a similar place from matthew brown.

okay but also the kid has a point, of the ghouls were only eating dead people, was it really that important to be killing them?

that turned out a lot more therapeutic than i expected. and somehow i didn't know that fate of adam so i was actually surprised. i always am glad for dean to be working through some of his dad issues. sam is full of questionable choices these days. i'll give it to him, the writers, whatever. he really does sell that he's earnestly truly trying to do the right thing. but everything is a flaming pile of shit anyway.

DEAN I mean, I worshipped the guy, you know? I dressed like him, I acted like him, I listen to the same music. But you were more like him than I will ever be. And I see that now.

SAM I'll take that as a compliment.

DEAN You take it any way you want.

i mean.

anyway. okay i liked this episode even though i'm nervously looking at the time with how close the end of the season is and here we are off killing some monsters like it's any other week. this felt like an earlier to mid season episode. quality dean and sam time, daddy issues on blast.

and forever grateful shoutout to supernaturalwiki.com, the documentation is immaculate, found the episode with the bury you line in it in under 5 minutes.

#supernatural #spn 4x19 #adam milligan #spnwatch #hiky #spnhiky #cybill #seinfeld #cybill shepherd #spn 1x06 #spn 1x22 #john winchester #john winchester's a+ parenting #andrew dabb #daniel loflin

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jumblejen · 2 years

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We Were Always Going to End Up Together - Ch 5

Suptober 22, Day 5: A Perfect Disaster

On AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/42237885/chapters/106611369

(Or read from the beginning: https://archiveofourown.org/works/42237885/chapters/106051008)

Dean couldn’t believe he wasn’t anxious. He was plenty nervous, but it felt like champagne bubbles rising through his system instead of soul-strangling doubt. He’d taken care to pay more attention to how he dressed to go to the Roadhouse than he’d ever done before, inspecting himself in the mirror long enough that he laughed at himself before heading out. He’d picked the soft green Henley to bring out his eyes a little, over a white tshirt that just poked out. Slim fit (but not too tight!) jeans with his favorite still-looked-nice-enough boots and he knew he looked good. He wished he’d replaced his old leather coat, but made do with his everyday canvas one. It would be warm inside anyway, so it wouldn’t be on long.

‘If Dean played his cards right, maybe none of his clothes would stay on that long,’ a little voice snickered in the back of his head at the thought. A guy could dream.

He got to the Roadhouse early, mostly to avoid a chance that his happy nerves could turn into an anxiety spiral while waiting for the time to pass. Jo was working tonight, which was nice because he appreciated a friendly face, but also annoying as she would immediately clock that he was there for a date and she would be merciless. A little sister type, she was a blessing and a curse all rolled into a perky but violent blonde package.

“Hey Dean, who’s the lucky one tonight? Or are you just hoping it’ll be you?”

“I’m always lucky to be eating Ellen’s food,” Dean teased back.

“Well Mom will be happy you still know how to kiss up to her.”

“Do you want to drag her out here to say hi?”

“Nah, she’ll come around later maybe. Besides, you don’t want your date to get the wrong idea.” Jo grabbed a couple of menus and started leading Dean back towards the nicer booths. “After all, they might think you’re likable or something.”

“Yeah, yeah. Just remember that I pay your tip.”

“Oh please. Either your date pays, and tips me well or you tip me well. No way you want to risk looking like a cheapskate on a first date.” Dean frowned at her back as she sashayed away. He hated when she got the last word. His expression changed to a grin as he saw Castiel walk through the doorway.

Apparently Dean wasn’t the only one who was early for things. He stood up and caught Castiel’s eye.

“Hey Cas,” started Dean, suddenly a little shy.

“Dean?”

“Yeah, Cas?”

“What are you…”

Dean felt his face flush pink as his happy nervous bubbles curdled in his belly. “Didn’t we have a date?” Dean managed to force out.

Cas sighed deeply and looked at the floor.

Dean wondered if he could just melt through the floor. Worse, this might even be bad enough that Jo would be nice to him. “I mean, your text…”

“Sorry, Dean. I…I didn’t know I was meeting you here.”

Dean’s flush deepened and he thought his whole head might actually catch on fire. “It’s fine, man. No harm, no foul.” Dean thought he might be sick all over his favorite boots.

“Dean, wait.”

Dean met earnest blue eyes and wished even harder he could disappear.

“This was Gabe’s doing. He thinks I don’t have a life and he must have taken my phone and asked you out. I’m so sorry for the misunderstanding.”

“It’s cool, Cas,” said Dean, desperately shutting down his disappointment and putting on his impersonal, charming face.

“No. I might kill my cousin, and he should never have done this without my knowledge.”

“Yeah, definitely a dick move. But really, it’s okay. I’m sorry you came out and all for a joke.” Dean was trying to figure out how to get out of this conversation so he could drown his sorrows a little and then go home and lick his wounds.

“But you wanted to go out with me?”

Dean blinked in surprise. “Wouldn’t have said yes if I didn’t.”

“I mean. Are you sure you knew it was dinner with me?”

Dean smiled a little at that. “Of course with you. Not every day that a gorgeous scarecrow asks me out.”

It was Castiel’s turn to blush as he rubbed the back of his neck. In a voice so low and quiet Dean almost couldn’t make out the words Cas mumbled, “Do you want to stay and have dinner with me?”

Dean’s smile was softer, “Yeah man. We’re both here and I’m definitely interested if you are.” Dean gave him what he hoped came across as an encouraging look.

Castiel’s smile was small but bright.

They took seats on either side of the booth, both a little shy and not sure what to say. Dean met Castiel’s eyes and huffed a small laugh. “So Gabe’s your cousin?”

“Yes. And he’s very irritating.”

“Is it so bad having dinner with me?”

“No, I’m sorry. I’m not very good at this.”

“Having dinner?”

“Talking to good-looking men.”

Dean drew a breath in at the sincerity in Cas’ gaze. “Seems like you’re doing ok.”

“What can I get you two?”

Dean tried not to glare at Jo’s interruption.

“Your usual, Dean?”

“Sure, Jo.”

“And for you?”

“I’ll have whatever he’s having.”

“Alright. Be back in a minute.”

“What if I ordered a shitty IPA?”

“Then I guess I’ll have to suffer through the experience.”

Dean laughed, enjoying the adorable mix of awkward and deadpan funny.

They chatted about how Dean knew Jo until Jo dropped off their beers and took their orders and left them alone with a wink to Dean.

“So what do you do when you aren’t hanging around corn mazes?”

“Not much, really.”

“Does scarecrow really pay that well?”

“No, I just am in between jobs right now. I own the farm that the maze is on.”

“So you decided to go all in on that?”

“It was Gabe’s idea. He talked me into performing there too.”

“So what you’re saying is that we only met because your cousin is a busybody who tries to micromanage your life?”

“He thinks I’m lonely.”

Dean paused. “Are you?”

“I find people to be difficult in a social setting.”

“People are just people man. Most of us don’t bite.” Dean smiled wolfishly, hoping a little bit of his own desire shone through.

“I understand people better when we have a mutual purpose.”

“Such as…”

“At the maze, I’m trying to scare them. At a job, I am trying to get my work done and so are they, so that helps facilitate the relationship. When I am a customer, interacting with the cashier has a practical structure. It’s easier when I know what both sides of the equation are expecting.”

“And when there’s a cute boy you are suddenly having dinner with?”

“I hope I don’t scare him off because I’m not sure what to say. There’s no script for this.”

Dean’s heart melted a little at the wistful vulnerability he could read in the other man’s face. “Well, we’re talking just fine here. And I know everyone has always told me I have more words than most so you can always just get me started and I’ll carry the conversation for awhile.”

“I think I’m doing okay.”

“So far so good. In fact, I think that you have avoided any possible disaster tonight.”

“There’s still time. I could still manage to knock and entire plate of food onto your lap or accidentally insult your life’s work.”

“Well, let’s try to avoid all that, but even if those things happened I think we’d be fine. Once we got the awkward part out of the way, I’d say it’s been perfect.”

Cas smiled shyly at Dean, raising his beer slightly, blue eyes shining. “Then here’s to our perfect disaster.”

Dean felt his smile stretch wide as he gently clinked his bottle against Cas’.

#suptober22 #destiel #fanfic #a perfect disaster #jo harvelle #first date #i love writing these idiots

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thevioletcaptain · 2 years

Text

it’s tarot time, i guess?

So I was doing a tarot reading for myself today when I was suddenly overcome with the desire to do a lil reading for the first season of The Winchesters. Why? Look, we all do things, man. Sometimes a person just wants to be extra unhinged about the prequel to a TV show they’ve loved for over a decade. Don’t judge me.

Anyway, the cards I pulled gave me brainworms. Like. Giant, snake-sized brainworms that are all eating their own tails like a big, squirmy worm ouroboros. I’m so sorry for that mental image.

Rather than just sit with the reading myself, I’m going to share it here in case anyone else cares to see it. I’m forcing myself not to assume that it’s all about Dean’s journey as narrator, though when I put them all together they do tell a surprisingly coherent narrative that meshes pretty well with where I’m speculating his part in the prequel is leading. Who’s to say, though.

With the giant caveat that this may very well turn out to be a big old pile of nothing, and a second giant caveat that I mostly stopped reading tarot cards for like 15 years and am a bit rusty as I only picked it back up a couple of years ago, here are the cards I pulled for each episode, followed by my interpretations, some of which take known episode titles into account.

Ace of Swords

The Hermit

The World (reversed)

Six of Swords

Two of Cups

Three of Cups

Nine of Pentacles

Seven of Cups

Eight of Pentacles

Temperance

Eight of Cups

The Tower

The Devil (reversed)

I also pulled a card for the overall takeaway to expect by the end of the season, and (hilariously) got The Moon (reversed).

Episode One - Pilot

Card: Ace of Swords Interpretation: The pursuit of truth. The action of taking control.

Perhaps this relates to Dean’s overall arc. His entire purpose as narrator of this story is to find out the “true” story about how his parents met, and he’s on this journey after finally being able to take ownership of the narrative post-Chuck. This seems like a pretty basic card pull tbh! But also... accurate considering what we already know. Moving on...

Episode Two - Teach Your Children Well

Card: The Hermit Interpretation: Striking out alone. Stepping away to find a clearer perspective without outside influence. Independence.

This is interesting, especially paired with the title of the episode, which is a reference to a CSNY song about becoming your own person while still learning from and taking on parts of your parents. I don’t think it’s a stretch to guess that this is going to be a major theme through the whole show, but the hermit showing up here with all the “make your own way” energy it carries is definitely something to think about.

Episode Three - You’re Lost Little Girl

Card: The World (reversed) Interpretation: Being stuck in place. Being unable to move forward until you’re ready to take responsibility and free yourself from what binds you.

Hm. Being stuck, being trapped, needing to free yourself... in an episode called You’re Lost Little Girl... this works. If the girl in question is Mary (I’m guessing it will be because I feel like the next ep is a John centric episode, and it makes sense with an ensemble cast to share the focus from week to week) then this could be about her desire to get out of hunting, and feeling trapped in that world even though she probably could have just left it behind. We know from Supernatural that she wanted out, and that she saw John as her ticket to normalcy. So it would make sense if this one is about her struggling with that in some way.

Putting the rest under a cut because this post is getting long and may very well turn out to be a big mountain of nonsense 😅

Episode Four - Masters of War

Card: Six of Swords Interpretation: Moving on after a loss. Picking up the pieces and accepting support. Trusting the onward journey.

This episode is the one I’m guessing is going to have a bunch of flashbacks to John’s time in Vietnam, purely because the title is from the Bob Dylan anti-war protest song of the same name. Six of Swords is definitely a “deal with your trauma” card, so this makes me raise my eyebrows even more... if it turns out to be an episode where John tries (or is encouraged) to get help with his flashbacks I’ll be yelling.

Episode Five - Daydream Believer

Card: Two of Cups Interpretation: Healing damaged relationships, forming deeper bonds.

Depending on how quickly John and Mary get together, this could either be them getting closer for the first time, or working through a rough patch if they’ve already started dating (maybe this is where we’ll see some angelic interference?) Healing damaged relationships could also apply to Dean through his narration--the whole show still seems likely to be about him trying to heal his own trauma surrounding his family, so that’s possible. This is the only episode title that has me completely stumped--the song is about a couple who don’t have much in the way of material things, but are trying to find happiness in being together. Maybe the connection will become clearer as other episodes air, but combining the title/lyrical content with this card makes me think that this episode will have to do with love in some capacity, whether it’s between John and Mary or someone else.

Episode Six - Art of Dying

Card: Three of Cups Interpretation: Reunions. Friendship and support when it’s most needed. The harvest / things coming to fruition.

We know that the show starts with Mary looking for Samuel, so perhaps this is when she’ll find him? Paired with that title though (which is a reference to the George Harrison song about death and reincarnation) I wonder if this episode will be the first time we actually see Heaven. Depending on how often Dean actually appears on screen (we know he’s going to show up in the pilot, but afaik he’s just going to be narrating most of the time) maybe this will be the next time we see him? If so, it’s possible we could also see a reunion between him and other characters at this point....... yes, I’m thinking about that .2 second clip of Cas’ shadow in the trailer and the clown shoes are VERY comfortable thank you for asking.

Episode Seven - Title Unknown

Card: Nine of Pentacles Interpretation: Abundance, but it is unfulfilling. Dissatisfaction. The certainty that something is missing despite things seeming to be complete.

I know I just did Heaven related clowning for the previous episode but... does this not sound like Dean in the afterlife, being dissatisfied with paradise because he hasn’t yet finished working through all his trauma and doesn’t yet have everything he needs? *cough*Castiel’s presence*cough* I really have no idea what else this might be about tbh. It might turn out to be a Carlos or Latika or Ada centric episode but given that I don’t really know much about them yet it’s hard to say. Maybe if Mary does find Samuel in the previous episode, this could be about her realizing that finding him wasn’t enough? She’s still restless and feels like more needs to be done? Or maybe something happened to Samuel while he was away and he’s damaged in some way--it might be cool if he’s lost part of his soul or something, given his connection to Sam in SPN...

Episode Eight - Title Unknown

Card: Seven of Cups Interpretation: Uncertainty when presented with seemingly clear choices. Looking for flaws before moving forward.

Perhaps this will be about Mary weighing pros and cons of staying in the life she hates or getting out with John somehow? Or someone will be offered a deal that will seem too good to be true, and need the characters to look at things with deeper level of scrutiny. Crossroads demon, maybe? Or!!! Maybe it’s a Dean thing and he’s going to be tempted by the chance to undo all the horrible shit that has happened to his family, but the cost will ultimately be too high, because if none of that happened then he wouldn’t have Cas or Jack or basically any of his friends, and Chuck wouldn’t have been defeated. Idk it’s really hard to say without knowing how much Dean we’ll actually get to see.

Episode Nine - Title Unknown

Card: Eight of Pentacles Interpretation: Acknowledging the desire to move forward. Exponential emotional and spiritual growth. Working through issues. Being proactive.

I’m trying really hard not to apply all of this to Dean lmao. But like... the whole premise of the show, of him looking for the truth/looking into his parents past, feels like him doing this. So I’m gonna just go full clown and say that episode nine will be an important one on that front, especially if my interpretation of the previous episode’s card is remotely close. That or it’s going to be John and Mary working through issues, but who knows how involved they’ll even be at this point. Will they have issues yet? At any rate, someone is going to be setting goals and working toward them.

Episode Ten - Title Unknown

Card: Temperance Interpretation: Testing the waters and moving toward healing. Finding peace and balance.

The further in we get the less idea I have about what the middle ones might apply to. Perhaps I need to come back and look at these cards again after we’ve seen a few episodes so I have some kind of framework. Anyway, stab in the dark... testing the waters and looking for balance makes me think of Mary maybe trying to find some way to reconcile her desire to get out of hunting with her need to carry on her family legacy as a Campbell. Maybe we’ll meet a hunter who has managed to do this? Or maybe one of the new characters will successfully find that balance, and Mary realizes that all or nothing is actually the only solution that will work for her (given that in SPN she got out completely, barring a couple of cases like Asa Fox.)

Episode Eleven - Title Unknown

Card: Eight of Cups Interpretation: Letting go of old constraints. Looking to the future.

It’s time for more Dean-related clowning. Shedding his earthly constraints and looking to his long and happy afterlife future. (I actually just have no idea, this could be relating back to the previous one. I love how there’s a clear line between all of these in terms of thematics though. Makes it seem like this might be a somewhat accurate reading. But who knows lol)

Episode Twelve - Title Unknown

Card: The Tower Interpretation: Breaking free. Total upheaval of the status quo. Letting go of the fear of change.

Y’all. I have my fingers firmly crossed for a back nine and a season two pickup, BUT if we only end up with a 13 episode first season, then that means I pulled THE MOTHERFUCKING TOWER for the penultimate episode of the season. I feel like I don’t need to explain to tarot people why that has me screaming--especially when you glance down and see which card I pulled for the finale 👀 But for the rest of you (if anyone is even reading this mess lmao) the tower basically signifies a major point of upheaval. The storm before the calm, or the the final test before the resolution. It means shedding the fear of change that has been holding you back from becoming your true self. Destruction of what has been before in order to make room for growth and change and freedom. If this show is doing what I’m inclined to believe it’s doing WRT Dean’s involvement, then this might refer to his side of things more than John and Mary and the gang, or perhaps will be the episodes when the story he’s telling and the one they’re living collide and fall apart just in time for the next episode, which is...

Episode Thirteen - Title Unknown (Possible S1 Finale)

Card: The Devil (reversed) Interpretation: Total release and liberation

Well... like I said for the previous card, if the show is doing what I think/hope it’s doing with Dean (basically, giving him some degree of the self-actualization that we didn’t get to see in the original series, letting him finish working through his trauma to become fully at peace/integrated in the afterlife) then this would suggest that he succeeds. Dean is truly free in this episode. Given that this is (at the moment) the planned S1 finale, this card makes me lose my mind. If the show gets a back nine, I have no idea, because this really feels like The Ending tbh. Considering that we already know how things will ultimately turn out for John and Mary, my best guess for this in relation to them is that--if this ends up being a midseason finale with 9 more episodes, or if we get a s2--this will be them settling into civilian life, if not ignorant of the supernatural world and enjoying a false sense of freedom, then at least choosing to live outside of the hunting lifestyle.

The Season As A Whole

Card: The Moon (reversed) Interpretation: Seeing the light, anxieties being put to rest.

So... this pretty much says that by the end of the season, everything will make sense. Things will be clear. Light will shine into all of the dark, murky places and everything will be illuminated. All in all a pretty fitting yet frustratingly obvious card for the end of the season, because... Well. Of course everything will make sense by the end of the season--barring anything being set up for a potential season 2.

But it sure did floor me when I pulled this one out when asking something like “what can we expect from the end of the season?” because it really felt like the universe was mocking me. It might as well have said “you can expect the show to follow a narrative :)”

Anyway. That’s all the cards!

One more thing, though... because there’s actually a fairly solid throughline of themes here, which is more than I expected to see. Like, start to finish, this goes:

Taking control, seeking the truth, gaining independence, freeing yourself in order to move forward, shedding trauma, accepting support, healing damaged relationships and forming deeper bonds, reuniting with those lost, feeling something is still missing, being uncertain about a choice and looking for faults, being proactive, testing the waters, letting go, breaking free, liberation, clarity.

Basically, I somehow managed to pull cards that have a coherent narrative shape? Wild. Now I guess it’s time to wait and see how close any of this is, and if it turns out to be nothing, I can always use this as a loose fic outline 😆

#cass says things #cass does tarot #i guess????#idk if i ever had a tarot tag i think i stopped doing it before i got a tumblr #do i even want to tag this with the show lmao this is probably not interesting to anyone except me #this barely counts as speculation #oh well just in case #fandom: the winchesters #spnwin spec #based wholly on tarot cards and a handful of episode titles #because why not

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waitmyturtles · 7 months

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Absolute Zero, episode 1 RANDOM THOUGHTS (more like FEELS and SQUEALS and HAPPY PIPS, here we go):

1) New Siwaj's latest prestige BL. Man, we've had some dips from him lately. I FAST-fast-forwarded through Between Us to get to the DeanPharm bits, and listen, I shoulda just listened to my friends (insert the Bugs Bunny "NO" gif here). And I have a pathetic love for Double Savage, a show that New Siwaj screenwrote and that aired earlier this year, for its POTENTIAL to tell an intergenerational familial trauma story headed by OhmPerth, but lord, it was a mess. At the same time, I have been impaled with a thirsty obsession over my watch and rewatch of New's Until We Meet Again, so with New going high for this latest show -- I have BIG expectations.

2) @bengiyo and @twig-tea (here and here) covered a TON of what I am thinking (and apologies to friends if you wrote AZ things yesterday and I missed them -- like @bengiyo, I would love to be tagged in your meta to track thoughts on this show!) (I think @troubled-mind is getting into this one, maybe we already have a little AZ squad going!). Further apologies and big ups to Ben and Twig if I repeat anything you say! Which I will, right now, repeating Ben's words:

3) FUCK if I didn't feel some nostalgia hearing Boy Sompob's voice again. I really do feel like this means that New is THROWING. DOWN. The music in this show is already fantastic. The music was SO IMPORTANT to the storytelling in UWMA, and I'm glad we're leading with it again here.

4) I am VERY PLEASED to see Mix Wanut (young Suansoon) holding down as a lead. We didn't see him too much as Don in UWMA, but: I thought his timing and comedy was particularly notable in UWMA (when Don was able to lighten up a bit near Dean, I thought it was really great).

5) Speaking of the actors. I'd like everyone to know (poor @neuroticbookworm and @lurkingshan have already heard me yelp on this). Teng Kanist, who plays the older Suansoon. He was fabulous as Nat in Gay OK Bangkok. Nat was a contradictory character, but let me be honest -- I felt a little symp for Nat because I like Teng's face. I admit it, I'm weak and transparent for dudes.

BUT: we all need to know that Teng Kanist IS ALSO A REAL-LIFE PASTRY CHEF who also GOES TO THE GYM. Therefore, we have a perfect man (for me lol) in our midst. Just need everyone to know! Croissants and abs and sets. SOLD!

6) Ahem, where was I. As an #old, seeing middle-aged dudes in a drama is what I need. I like that Absolute Zero is going to do this for us: to juxtapose the expected BL school scenes with two real adults in real adult settings. I love this. And I love that I know we are going to get more elders next week in What Did You Eat Yesterday?, and elder-ishes very soon in Cherry Magic Thailand and Cooking Crush. We need to age-diversify this field, and New is leading this season.

7) I love how fast we needed to get to young Suansoon and young Ongsa getting together. From the MDL description of the show, it looks like Absolute Zero may have a similar structure to UWMA. UWMA was like a three-part series: the first part being Dean and Pharm getting together; the second being their discovering their spiritual pasts through their shared inherited memories and meeting their families; and the third being the conclusion with their resolving Korn and Intouch's forced separation at death.

If Absolute Zero follows a similar structure in a shorter episode span (right now, MDL shows AZ having 12 episodes, as compared to UWMA's 17 episodes), then I understand AZ needing to be a bit chop-chop about the romance. But I felt that this episode was still perfectly paced, and yes -- dropping the faen in the first episode could seem a touch fast, but I felt that we had convincingly spent intentional time with Suansoon's loneliness to understand why he would have said yes to Ongsa. (And, anyway -- of course, we needed to know that they got together, because we time-jumped to their loving adult relationship.)

And I loved young Ongsa's approach. A guy looking and chasing after his crush. The romance of buying tickets to a movie, hoping the guy he likes will show up. Giving Suansoon a birthday bracelet at the movie. Holding Suansoon's hand and asking him the big question.

Man.... ahhhh. What I loved about that bracelet scene is that -- the gift of that bracelet did a lot of the communicating from Ongsa to Suansoon without words. Suansoon was clearly touched and moved. The loss of his parents shakes him, but he clearly got a lovely moment of connection from that gift. Mix acted that part beautifully.

8) The Love of Siam. What can I fucking say. I haven't seen My Only 12%, where I know New makes another significant reference to LoS there. But, just. I'm very glad @bengiyo insisted on LoS being the start of the Old GMMTV Challenge, in part because of the references to LoS in other Thai BLs over the course of the genre's short history, but also -- the tragedy of that movie communicates SO MUCH when it is present as a reference in another piece. Just like the bracelet communicates so much by way of love. I love that we got to see the pre-ending credits quote. I love that New's communicating to us through this brilliant movie.

I am sure I can find more to gush on, but let me stop here, because this got longer than I expected. I can't manage a full load of dramas, so I'll likely be dropping my thirst-watch of Dangerous Romance to accommodate AZ and WDYEY. Just like I am praying for Tee Bundit to not drop the ball on I Feel You Linger in the Air -- let us hope New can also keep the juggle up on AZ. He started this out STRONG. I HAVE HIGH HOPES.

#absolute zero #absolute zero the series #new siwaj #tor supakorn #mix wanut #teng kanist #toey puwanat #suansoon x ongsa #ongsa x suansoon #that'll probably get shortened to soon right #we will see #absolute zero meta

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fadingcomputerwitch · 1 year

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I posted 1,386 times in 2022

That's 1,380 more posts than 2021!

4 posts created (0%)

1,382 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@ambykinns

@patient-amour

@fullmetalfisting

@supernaturaldaily

@nightshadeis

I tagged 1,384 of my posts in 2022

#funny - 302 posts

#supernatural - 193 posts

#cute - 133 posts

#dean winchester - 94 posts

#adorable - 65 posts

#disney - 61 posts

#cat - 57 posts

#kitty - 56 posts

#sam winchester - 53 posts

#bones - 48 posts

Longest Tag: 94 characters

#after covid and after big family decided not to gather because papa was gone there are 9 of us

My Top Posts in 2022:

Realities of a big girl

Personal Rant Incoming:

We like to pretend that as a society we are getting better at accepting people for who they are. Maybe we are. But where I sit and from what I see that isn’t the case. One of my friends has a father who dislikes me (long story short I called him out on some shitty behavior and he did fix those behaviors afterward but has talked trash about me ever since. Although he blames it on how I acted at a fancy restaurant even though I have no prior knowledge, still, on how to act at a fancy restaurant) and right now my friend lives with her dad again. Well on a series of weird events I found myself in the area and my friend had some things for my offspring, so I stopped by. He said no words to me when I was there and since he was on the phone I said no things to him. After I left he apparently told my friend “That is a big girl” which she told him off and that she sees me as only me and that is how he should see me...I tried to not let it bother me because I know he just wants to talk trash

BUT this isn’t like a single occurrence. This happens all the time. Let alone the fact that I hardly eat to begin with. And I have so many other instances running around in my head. Being accused of eating all the food on a trip I took with another friend, being eyed and told nothing in a store would fit me, and just generally being shamed for my body.

All of this while still adjusting to the fact I have PCOS and my journey to have another offspring is going to be more complicated and my WEIGHT might not even be something that I can totally control. But I gaslight myself into thinking that everything is in my head: I’m fat because I am lazy. I don’t need to eat I have plenty of fat. My spouse will eventually leave me a skinnier person, especially as they lose weight. And I want all these thoughts to stop because I know they don’t belong but....I have a million instances where they prove to be true.

Anyway, my friend also said something that night as I ate my first real meal of the day, and it stuck with me. “You deserve to eat” just something that simple. I hear it from others, my spouse and such but at least it adds another voice of reason to combat the bad.

I’m trying to be a better human for my offspring. That includes teaching her fat isn’t a bad word and to love yourself no matter what. I still struggle everyday with the voices and what I was taught, I only hope that I am laying a foundation for my baby to be able to walk the world with their head held high in a way that I have not been able to do yet. I hope that I can make that shine brighter than it ever did for me. And hopefully someday, a little at a time, I will see myself in a better light too.

0 notes - Posted September 9, 2022

You are awesome and sweet and caring towards everyone. You be the best. That be my opinion

I have no idea who this is from or how long it has been sitting in my inbox, but thank you. I kind of needed this today.

0 notes - Posted August 30, 2022

ugh

I told a person I was on Metformin because I have PCOS and it is a recent diagnosis, which sucks since I want more kids. The person replied with ‘Metformin is bad for you’ and why...why would you say that. So I replied with “Yeah and all my bipolar meds are supposedly bad too.” And she was quick to reply with “Yeah super bad.” My response was simply “Not worse than unaliving myself” and I think perhaps I took it too far. But seriously I am sick of this same argument.

1 note - Posted August 26, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Infertility

I never thought I would be here. My daughter happened so easily without aid. Now I am here with a diagnosis of PCOS and two little bottles to help me make another. This time it won’t be a happy accident. This time will be painstakingly calculated with medicine and a schedule. This time the baby will be made out of timing and plans. Will the passion still be there? Why does this feel like such a big failure? Do I have a right to complain? Some people long for one child and I selfishly want more. Why does this hurt my feelings so much? What if even this fails? What if I do it wrong? What if this is because I don’t deserve more? Am I a good enough mom? Am I good enough? These are all the things I think and feel as I look at those two little bottles.... I will push on regardless and hope that this works. Adjusting to new things are hard. Hopefully I will be with child soon. Waiting is always the hardest thing.

4 notes - Posted October 5, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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the-sun-and-the-sea · 2 years

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TBOSAS Thoughts (Chapters 19-21)

After a brief moral crisis in which Coriolanus considers the impact of his actions helping Lucy Gray cheat in the Games, he goes to the Plinth’s house to “check on” Sejanus. What he’s really doing is waiting for the Plinths to give him money as a thank you for saving Sejanus’ life. The whole scene in the Plinth’s house honestly just makes me so frustrated.

Coriolanus expects that eventually, Mr. Plinth will offer him money in exchange for getting Sejanus out of the arena, which he will make a show of refusing in order to seem humble, but eventually accept. He not only expects it, but is counting on it. He walks into Mrs. Plinth’s kitchen, eats her blackberry pie, totally (internally) slanders her district background and entire lifestyle, all while waiting for what he considers to be an inevitable display of gratitude??

The whole situation just reeks of entitlement, and what’s worse is that Coriolanus doesn’t even respect these people. He lies to their faces at every opportunity to convince them that he does respect them, but his internal monologue is an entirely different story. He uses them like a parasite and they don’t even know it, because Coriolanus is so outwardly respectful and charismatic. It just makes my blood boil.

This chapter also contains a scene that I’m very excited to see in the movie, and that’s the scene with the snakes in the arena. What’s interesting here is that these snakes are probably the very first muttations ever incorporated into the Games. The snakes take a lot of victims, but they seem enraptured by Lucy Gray, because they’re familiar with her scent. This is about where the chapter ends.

Chapter 20 is a pretty pivotal one in the book. It starts with Lucy Gray singing to the snakes. Again, I’m really excited to see how this whole scene looks in the movie, as well as just hearing all the songs in general.

Anyway, things move quickly in the arena after that. They make it down to the final five. I did sort of like the camaraderie between the remaining mentors at this point; it does feel like they’re developing a unique bond because of their situation. The remaining two mentors are Coriolanus and Clemensia (mentors of Lucy Gray and Reaper), which is interesting as well because the two are relatively close.

As Lucy Gray gets closer and closer to winning, Coriolanus has some thoughts that do not sit right with me, and I don’t think they’re intended to sit right with anyone. He fantasizes about living with Lucy Gray once she makes it out of the arena, looking forward to the time when “he got to keep her,” and she was “unequivocally his.” I feel like I don’t really need to explain why this is concerning. This level of possessiveness is not unique to Coriolanus (although it has an extra layer to it because of the romantic element), as many of the mentors have expressed it as well. They view their tributes as property to be owned. I think this mindset is why most of the mentors were unable to properly form human connections with their tributes, and why Coriolanus will eventually be unable to form connections with Lucy Gray.

Coriolanus really rides the high of Lucy Gray’s victory. He attributes the victory to his own skill, even though he did like 2% of the work, but that’s honestly to be expected at this point. So when Dean Highbottom invites him to his office, Coriolanus thinks it’s going to be money, an apology, or congratulations. He’s wrong.

I remember the first time reading this that the reveal that Coriolanus had been caught cheating and was going to become a Peacekeeper was so shocking. I just did not see it coming. Obviously this time, I knew it would happen, but you can still feel Coriolanus’ dumbfounded shock when he hears the news. This ends part 2 of the book as we head into part 3, The Peacekeeper.

Chapter 21 mostly serves as an introduction to Coriolanus’ life as a Peacekeeper. I don’t really have a lot to say about this one; it felt very drawn out and monotonous, which is probably intentional as that’s what Coriolanus would’ve been feeling.

Although, I will say that he spends a lot of time catastrophizing this chapter. He truly thinks that his life is over and he will never recover from the humiliation. It’s honestly a little amusing just because it’s so dramatic and at this point, I don’t feel attached enough to Coriolanus to feel very sympathetic.

The ending is exciting, though. Sejanus shows up to be a Peacekeeper also, which I find really interesting, because he’s originally from District 2 (which produces the most Peacekeepers). I really like that Sejanus has the opportunity to leave the Capitol, an environment that he hated, and join an environment that feels more like home, even if he has to be a Peacekeeper to do it.

For these chapters, I listened to The Old Therebefore when Lucy Gray sang to the snakes.

Thanks for reading my thoughts and I hope you enjoyed!

#tbosas reread #tbosas #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #thg #the hunger games

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morhath · 2 years

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SPN S1E2 and S1E3 liveblog for Some Goddamn Reason

I am skipping s1e2 because knowing what I know now about various Native American beliefs (cannot remember exact area of origin) it feels uhhh WILDLY DISRESPECTFUL which of course we can only expect from SPN but still. it feels Also Rude to watch it given the context I know about the uhhh. Guy.

I think Netflix is showing that I have watched all of s1 before. which means I tried to do a rewatch before, because I watched the first... two or three seasons? on DVD on loan from my aunt who tempted me with VAMPIRES (twilight phase) and I was DISAPPOINTED by the LOW VAMPIRE QUANTITIES yet INTRIGUED ANYWAY

hand hurts from embroidering and watching. time for a popcorn-eating break for ep3. aw either "saving people hunting things the family business" was in the ep I skipped or I missed it in e1. either way, iconic line.

unfortunately... I Am Not Immune To Jensen Ackles Smiling Gently With Pen In Mouth

do they even HAVE pep rallies in college? maybe at a big, sports-y college

Agents Ford and Hamill... Dean you absolute dingus. you buffon. you sweet little nerd. also I like REALLY don't remember this episode.

LOL I LOVE THIS WOMAN. MUST BE HARD WITH YOUR SENSE OF DIRECTION FINDING YOUR WAY TO A PICKUP LINE. GET HIS ASS. also the actress looks SUPER familiar to me.

some of this line delivery is... very wooden :/ that being said, Dean talking about his trauma with Lucas (the kid) is making me feel a little emotional

not 2 be Californian but WHO just leaves the sink RUNNING like that

some offense to Mr. Sam Winchester but I am struggling to remember why I was a staunch Sam Girl in my youth. I think I mostly liked him because he was ~the nerdy one~

OH I REMEMBER THIS ONE NOW THE DUDE JUST GETS FUCKING LAUNCHED INTO THE SKY IN THE BOAT LMAOOO

I do love Sam being snippy and sarcastic at Dean, one of the Sam moods of all time

[looks directly into the camera] now why are this naked bathing lady's feet so prominent in the frame.

okay listen the words "come play with me" CANNOT sound spooky to me anymore because I just hear "come play with me in the spaaace!"

this moss looks so thick... luxurious... unparalleled moss experience... I long for it

I really wish I remembered my reaction to this episode considering I would've been watching it right when I was being bullied (incl. physically) and that's the reveal, that the kid who's haunting the lake was killed in a bullying incident. tbf I didn't really process that I was being bullied at the time or at least I didn't realize that it was, like, unjust. anyway, I do love that this is once again a Ghost Banishing Incident that happens via resolution of the Ghost's Problems and not a generic salt and burn--I wish I could remember how common this is because I feel like I mostly remember salting and burning. that being said the police guy looked INCREDIBLY silly while "drowning".

I think the actress looks a lot like Fred from AtS but isn't actually her, and that's why she looked familiar. anyway, time for bed! I do remember the next ep, it's the plane one! how were these two not already on a no-fly list I ask you.

#life #supernatural #unfortunately: supernatural liveblog #child death tw #drowning tw

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