#at least daylight has gone from 5 hours to 8 hours in just a month so spring has to come at some point

[isaksbestpillow]

Month three of -25c, how long is this gonna last exactly ☃️🫠

#at least daylight has gone from 5 hours to 8 hours in just a month so spring has to come at some point #spring in this part of the world is crazy because you can literally see the light increasing every day

[muldxr]

2022 writing review 🤍

another year has come and gone! i was tagged by @neondiamond @beardyboyzx @wabadabadaba @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed

1. Number of stories posted to AO3: 18

2. Word count posted for the year: ~56k

3. Fandoms I wrote for: One Direction

4. Pairings: Harry/Louis, with a dash of Zayn/Liam in my new fic

5. Story with the most: Kudos: greased lightnin’ [155] Bookmarks: Hill Country [54] Comment threads: Hill Country [17]

the rest is under the cut!

6. Work I’m most proud of (and why): Hill Country was a creative experience from start to end. I mentioned this one a lot this year, but there's nothing major I would change about it. I will always, genuinely, enjoy re-reading it and I thank everyone who gives it a chance

7. Work I’m least proud of (and why): it was a really hard year so i don't want to be negative about any of my works <3 they all have their strengths

8. Share or describe a favorite review you received: I appreciate @lululawrence for kindly reccing dark blue on her June podcast episode here! I was in awe because it is a fic that i didn't think anyone would enjoy - and she COMPARED IT to other iconic crackfics, and it's just a big honor to have this underrated gem on that list.

9. A time when writing was really, really hard: lately my writing motivation has dwindled as the daylight disappeared, and i didn't have a very fun time writing in aug-oct but i'm prepared to do better in 2023

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: does Figs count? i loved the creativity that came with this style of poem and the 'scene' it sets up. i have been testing my limits with writing shorter but more impactful works this year

11. A favorite excerpt of your writing: this is from after hours and i can't resist a scene where all hope is lost

“Harry, please, leave it.”

“I’ve been trying to hold onto something, to find something good out of the bad. Why don’t you?”

“Because.”

“Because why?”

“You said I’ve been too quiet. You said I wasn’t helping you figure it out, but I was. And I can’t be positive about it like you are, because the answer’s fucking obvious.” He makes a sweeping gesture at himself, an absolutely broken flick of the hand. He doesn’t bother to look at Harry. “It’s my fault.”

Then Harry can’t get a word in while Louis passes him, walking into the house. He doesn’t follow, not right away. Sooner or later he’ll have to go up, work through the stubbornly silent treatment to console Louis, and come up with an easier way to separate their guilt from what they have to do. 

That, and because, when the sound of footsteps returns, Harry realizes he has the keys.  

13. How do you hope to grow next year: 1) I want to continue betaing/cheerleading, so hit me up! 2) I hope i can write another 15k+ fic! that would be great because I enjoy the chance to sit with a plot/cast of characters for longer than a few months

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer, beta, cheerleader, etc): people who tagged me in snippet games!! i don't post those very often because it's hard for me to write more than a few sentences at a time and I have a lot of scattered dialogue and incomplete scenes, but i enjoy interacting with everyone

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:  this is a deep-dish-pizza-loving household, thus after hours gave it the attention it deserves. hill country also held a lot of texan essence~ and i'm glad i poured it in there. I-80 was inspired by a roadtrip. see-see was based on 15+ years of movie-going experiences (if i figure out how, i might write a longform deaf au, emphasis on might). i think that's it? i try to be creative and pull inspiration from things, but if it turns too personal it's difficult to not want it to be 100% perfect

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers: not to say this applies to everyone - but I have learned in the last 1.5 years of writing fic, it's important to take things in moderation when planning wips and committing to fests. i learned this the hard way, and it made me reevaluate my connection to writing and taking care of myself

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: it's a slow year! I am working on fics for @harryrarepairfest and @omegaharryfest due in March before I take a personal break. Then two more projects finished by November? I'm also open to writing for other fandoms 🫣

18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read. @allwaswell16 @uhoh-but-yeah-alright @onlythebravest @tommokat @beelou @phd-mama @littleroverlouis @starsweredible @thedevilinmybrain and who else wants to share!

#* #another year another review!!! #i think i'm repeating myself but whatever. thank you for reading!

[hotchkiss-and-tell]

Dates or Time of Year for Each Nancy Drew Game

whatamagicalplace made one of these charts last year. Those efforts gave me a starting point but I wanted to tweak it after doing my own research. I decided to share my final result since my version differs from hers in several ways. My reasoning for each game is discussed below; but if you have any evidence to add, feel free.

SCK: Nancy says in the opening letter she took a semester off school to visit Eloise in Florida. The banners for Senior Prom are still prominent throughout the school and the event is scheduled for May 23. Game takes place in a single day but that day could be any time in late spring semester prior to May 23.

SCK2: Homecoming banners are prominent and the event is scheduled for Sept 23. A flyer with Jake’s secret messages has a date of Sept 05, so let’s assume Jake was still alive then. The game says Nancy is there to investigate after Jake was murdered “last week.” That could mean three to seven days after the murder since it happened on a Thurs. Thus Remastered takes place in a single day but that day could be anywhere from Sept 08 to 22.

STFD: Nov 13 (confirmed with calendar). Game takes place for as many days and nights as player needs.

MHM: “Winter Festival” and Charlie studying for finals indicates late Nov to early Dec. Newspaper about the lost gold at the end is dated Mar 03; it could’ve been published after money settlement and the renovations completed though. Game takes place for as many days and nights as player needs.

TRT: December. The Spanish letter from Lisa’s friend is dated Nov 30 and acknowledges that Lisa is already in Wisconsin. By now, time should be well into Dec. 

FIN: Possibly Nov (game’s release) but there are no confirmed dates on anything. It’s likely during the school year since Maya is doing the interview for the student newspaper. Game takes place over three days.

SSH: Calendar on Henrik’s desk is for the month of April. The book version takes place during the DC Cherry Blossom parade which usually occurs last week of March or early April. Game takes place for as many days as player needs. (Early April timeline would match with end of game trailer and dates for DOG.)

DOG: Jeff’s calendar is open to April. Culprit’s log book says Sally is due to move in to the cabin on April 19. Sally says she spent four weeks at Moon Lake, implying the game starts May 18. But I really don’t see Jeff’s character forgetting to change the calendar, so either Sally moved in early or she means four weeks total including seeing the property, bidding, and the final sale plus moving in. And let’s remember there’s no safe water source, so it’s unlikely Sally could live there for four weeks straight. Sally says the dogs howled a full week before they attacked the house and then they appeared every night since; maybe Sally lasted 9-14 days with the ghost dogs. The game could likely begin anywhere between Apr 28 and May 18. Then continue for as many days and nights as the player needs.

CAR: Culprit’s emails with black market dealer date from May 23 through June 04. Harlan’s appt book opens to June 09-13 with the significant clue on June 10. Game is a single day, likely on June 10, but could be as early as June 05.

DDI: June 17 (confirmed with calendar). Single day of gameplay.

SHA: Sept 15 to 17. Nancy’s airline ticket confirms arrival date in AZ. Timeline of the game takes place in three days. (Tex’s b-day is Sept 16!)

CUR: This is anybody’s guess. Hugh and Linda were married Aug 22. The lawyer’s letter to Mrs. Drake states Linda must live at the manor for another three months to fulfill the “six-month-habitation-clause” and those six months must be consecutive in the first year of marriage. Game could be late Nov at the earliest. However, frogs are chirping when Nancy arrives at the manor which is a spring thing and Bess and George say they are attending sailing camp. The fact that no one is suggesting that Linda can leave due to health reasons and start the six months over when she’s well again makes me think the year is half gone already. So the game could also be taking place in April or May at the latest.

CLK: May 07 (confirmed with calendar). Single day of gameplay.

TRN: We see snow in Copper Gorge, but it’s in Colorado and snow can be any time of year there. Frank and Lori are wearing the puffy vests and everyone else has jackets and sweaters. Fatima says it’s the off-season now and summer is the busy season. Makes me think winter is my best guess.

DAN: Game takes place for as many days as player needs. The newspaper on Day 1 is dated Aug 28. Newspapers continue to appear through Sept 06, which publishes that the journalists are negotiating for raises and the sounds of the impending strike are occurring outside JJ’s apartment. Day 11 (Sept 07) and onward have no more newspapers appear on the kitchen table. Let’s say Aug 28 to Sept 07 for simplicity.

CRE: Mike’s calendar is set to March. Quigley’s tape recorder log updates as of Mar 28. Craven’s shipping records say his latest sample was sent to Aikens Biotech on Apr 09. Game takes place in a single day, probably Apr 09 or 10. (Mike just hasn’t turned over the calendar yet)

ICE: Newspaper in the lodge is dated Jan 13. Elsa’s resignation letter is dated Jan 15. Lodge computer says Lupe checked in on Jan 15 and she noticed the lack of maid services for days. Game likely takes place that same week, starting maybe Jan 18 at the earliest, and lasts over several days and nights.

CRY: May 31 (confirmed with calendar). Single day of gameplay.

VEN: Newspaper in the Ca’ terrace says chalice was stolen “this morning” and the police records say the theft happened Jan 25. When Nancy nabs Nico on the stakeout, the next day’s newspaper is dated Feb 03. Since game takes place over several days, it likely plays from Jan 25 to Feb 03.

HAU: Night of May 28. The wedding is set for June 01. The end dialogue says Kyler and Matt couldn’t stop saying “I love you” from when the rocket launched to four days later, which was their wedding day.

RAN: The float plane pilot says resorts like Dread Isle shut down in the summer for “hurricane season” in the Bahamas. And the game was released in July. Since we see the map that charts all of Nancy’s past cases (including HAU) so the game is after the wedding on Jun 01. But there is no reference to the current date aside from “summer.” Single day of gameplay.

WAC: The essay Mel receives from her teacher with the plagiarist comments is dated Nov 21. Since two more nights of sleep are required to trigger events in the game, we can figure that the game takes place from Nov 21 to 23.

TOT: Scott’s calendar is open to May and filled in with code until the 19th. The log book of precipitation is filled out until May 24. Game likely takes place from May 20 to 25.

SAW: The TE-Japan brochure in Nancy’s teacher tote says her exchange program runs from Jun 01 to Sept 15 with different durations of 2 weeks, 3-4 weeks, and 5-8 weeks. With no specific date in the game and the player taking as many days and nights as needed to solve the mystery, we have to settle for saying it takes place in “summer.”

CAP: Karl’s daily calendar is on page March 12. When Nancy finds the final forged email from “Markus” she remarks that it has tomorrow’s date, which is Mar 13. Game is a single night of play on Mar 12.

ASH: Newspaper and police report of Nancy’s arrest say the game is done in a single day of August 18. The fire took place on Aug 17.

TMB: It’s the desert and there are no dates on any clue in the game. Since Lily is a student and Abdullah and Jon are professors, perhaps the game takes place in summer between any busy semester/class schedules.

DED: Ellie’s notepad in the control booth says she gave the coil demo to Nancy on Oct 29. Nancy arrived in daylight hours but since Ellie is on the night shift, the demo could have taken place on either side of midnight which means the game could start on either Oct 28 or 29. (Nancy arrived 10/28, night fell and midnight passed, then Ellie gives demo 10/29 OR Nancy arrives 10/29, night fell and it’s not midnight yet, then Ellie gives the demo still on 10/29.) Game continues for as many days and nights as the player needs.

GTH: Jessalyn’s phone recorded her bachelorette party antics from the night of Oct 27 to early morning of Oct 28. Addison says Jess had vanished for the second time after sun-up. It is unclear how many days Jessalyn has been missing before Nancy arrives on the island. Nancy was deep asleep when Savannah calls her for help, which means Jess has been gone at least a full day. Then Nancy arrives on the island at night which either means it’s evening on the same day of Savannah’s call or another day has passed by the time Nancy gets there. Oct 29 is the earliest possibility. Game takes place over three nights. Likely set between Oct 29 and Nov 01.

SPY: The newspaper reports that July 14 is near and it will be the eighth anniversary of Revenant’s first attack. Alec’s letter documents that his sister was kidnapped on the first of the month and has not been seen since. Game takes place between Jul 02 and 14. While Nancy cannot sleep or change the time of day, it is hard to believe that traveling back and forth throughout Scotland’s towns and the different phases of the spy operation all take place in a single day.

MED: Summer in the southern hemisphere, so datewise it’s set between Dec and Feb. Again there’s no sleep or time of day transitions but the elimination rounds likely take place over several days.

LIE: Employee timecards are recorded through July 05, the artifact exchange log is filled out through July 06, and the packing slip on the open crate says received July 06. Game is a single day of play, likely on July 06 or 07.

SEA: Soren’s winter guest log says Nancy is visiting in January. Game takes place for as many days and nights as player needs.

MID: Minion’s plane ticket TO Austria where the game begins is dated Oct 26 and the game goes into Halloween.

#all games #chart #Nancy Drew #look what i made

[madsthewordclown]

Pancakes | Sokka x Reader Modern AU

warnings: minor language

summary: you’re tired coming home from a trip over break and also freaking out about your feelings for a certain friend of yours. ft. best friend sleepover.

This fic was somewhat inspired by Pancakes for Dinner by Lizzy McAlpine and the rest of my pining playlist. Hope you guys like it! Also I’m sorry the title is not very relevant but I was tired after spending three days trying to pull this together :/ whoops

“Don’t worry, I’m almost home.” You talked just a bit too loudly to make sure your phone picked up the noise.

“Are you on the phone while driving, Y/N?” Sokka asked. He could probably hear the sound of your car on the highway—there were too many bumps on this road.

“It’s on speaker,” you clarified, being careful to keep your eyes on the road. You had been hoping to get home before dark, but the sun setting to your left was not a great indicator. You glanced down at your dashboard clock—only 5:30. You cursed daylight savings time. “I think I might have an hour left?”

“Know your way from there?” Sokka’s voiced cracked in your phone speaker. He sounded like he was chewing something.

“Yeah, I think so. I was just checking in to let you know.” You had been calling and checking in with either Sokka, Zuko or Katara every hour of your drive. Driving for so long made you especially nervous, and you never said anything so not to worry them, but you wanted one of your friends to have a general idea of where you were if anything were to happen. You knew that you were just being paranoid, but the dimming evening light only served to heighten your nerves.

“Drive safe,” Sokka told you. “Call me if you need anything, okay?”

“I will,” you replied, gulping. You thought of the millions of things you wanted to say to him, but kept your mouth shut. You glanced down to see your phone screen go dark, indicating that Sokka had hung up.

You didn’t tell him how you wished he would stay on the phone to keep you company. You didn’t ask him to see about getting you food for when you finally got home. You most definitely didn’t tell him about the very unhelpful thought that was streaming through your head; I like you, I like you, I like you.

You didn’t know when things had changed between you and Sokka. Your feelings for him had grown into something more than purely platonic, that you couldn’t deny. But you were pretty good at keeping those feelings hidden—in most cases your infatuations would come and go quickly, and you didn’t like to embarrass yourself by acting on an impulse. Even so, you felt like Sokka had been distant lately.

You supposed he had offered to let you stay at his and Zuko’s apartment while you were temporarily kicked out of your dorm for what your college said was a “routine maintenance procedure,” but that might have been more Zuko’s doing. Besides, they had offered the same service to Toph. Toph said that “routine maintenance” was probably code for “getting rid of roaches”.

At least the temporary displacement was over fall break, when lots of students went home. The university did offer other temporary accommodations, but Katara had insisted that the stay at Sokka and Zuko’s would be “the ultimate best-friend sleepover,” and that they’d all spend the night when you got back. As much as you loved your friends, you were happy that you had spent the first half of your break with your parents. You felt like you needed to give Sokka some space, and maybe take some time to let your feelings pass. Unfortunately, they hadn’t, but maybe Sokka would stop acting so distant.

You kept your speed at 5 under the limit as you drove. You felt ridiculous, but somehow your brain could never stop imagining worst-case scenarios; a deer jumping out in front of you, a police chase coming to a violent end over the top of the next hill. It was like a mini-existential crisis every time you were behind the wheel for too long.

You breathed a sigh of relief as you reached the city, the streets once again becoming familiar, illuminated by the streetlamps. The tight feeling in your chest loosened its grip, and you let your hands relax against the wheel.

You hardly believed your luck when you saw the empty space in front of Sokka and Zuko’s building. You quickly parked. Spaces were usually impossible to find. You unbuckled your seatbelt and leaned back with a sigh, relieved to finally be done driving. You had made it, the full 8 hours finally over.

You got out of the car and stretched your legs. Cars weren’t built for tall people, you lamented to yourself as you grabbed your bags out of your backseat, feeling the stiffness in your back as you leaned to grab your things.

Going up the stairs to the third floor was awful, and by the end of it, you wanted nothing more than to lie down. You knocked on the door—they had temporarily offered your spare key to Toph while you were gone—and leaned on the frame while you waited for someone to answer.

“Y/N!” Sokka cried as he opened the door for you. The instant you saw his smile you felt butterflies in your stomach, and the overwhelming urge to just say it—I like you, I like you, I like you—repeated like a mantra in your head.

“Hey, Sokka!” You leaned in to give him a half-hug; it was the best you could do with all of your bags.

“You should’ve called,” Sokka eyed your bags with a frown, “I would’ve helped you bring your stuff in.”

“It’s okay,” you brushed him off, pushing through the door.

“Y/N!” Katara cheered. You could see her sitting on the floor with Aang, leaning back up against the sofa where Zuko and Toph were sprawled out as much as possible. Somehow, Toph managed to take up more space regardless of the height difference. Zuko, Aang, and Toph echoed Katara’s cheer, although Toph did so half-mockingly.

You dropped your bags off by the kitchen table—you’d sort those out later. You just wanted to rest, and you knew you’d have to answer questions about your trip. Suddenly, a smell hit you. “Is something burning?”

“Shit!” Sokka exclaimed suddenly, rushing over to the stove.

“What’s that?” You asked, going to look over his shoulder. It was a bit difficult, as he and Zuko somehow managed to be taller than you. It drove you crazy, as you had been used to being the resident tall-person before you’d met. They loved holding it over your head, both literally and figuratively. (But you most definitely did not have a Napoleon complex. No way.)

“Pancakes,” Sokka answered, carefully flipping two off of the pan. “I figured you’d be hungry.”

“And we wanted pancakes!” Toph yelled from her spot on the couch.

“Make your own damn pancakes!” Sokka yelled back, “I’m giving up.” He turned to where you were standing behind him.

“Here, I’ll take the ones that I burnt, and you can have these other ones.” He held out a plate to you. “I hope four is enough.”

“You really didn’t have to make me food.” But you were so, so happy he did. You hadn’t realized how hungry you were, but now your stomach was being very demanding. You took the plate from him. “Thanks, Sokka.” I like you, I like you, I like you.

“Well, we know Sokka has a favorite,” Toph deadpanned.

“You never make me pancakes, Sokka,” Zuko pouted, sticking out his tongue.

“Shut up,” Sokka replied simply, following you over to claim a spot on the floor next to Katara and Aang, a bottle of syrup in hand.

You and Sokka ate pancakes while your friends asked you about your trip, with a random Mythbusters episode acting as background noise. Yes, your parents were doing great, yes, your hometown was as interesting as ever. The pancakes were delicious, and you felt even more grateful for Sokka’s gesture.

Despite the joy you felt to be reunited with your friends, you couldn’t deny that you were tired. You felt yourself wanting to doze off as you leaned on the couch. You yawned, stretching your arms up. Sokka noticed immediately.

“Hey, you can take my room if you want,” he offered, accurately sensing your exhaustion. You tried in vain to keep your cheeks from reddening—you didn’t think Sokka had noticed, but you were sure Katara did by the look she gave you.

“No, it’s okay,” you reassured him, “all of my bags are in here anyway, and they’re a mess.”

“Here, I’ll move them and get things cleaned up. You need to sleep,” Sokka insisted, proving his insistence by immediately getting up to gather your things. The second he disappeared into his room, Katara turned to you.

“Y/N, I give you my permission to date my brother.”

“Katara!” You blushed. “It’s not like that.”

“Y/N, you’re my best friend and Sokka’s my roommate,” Zuko said, “and I of all people would know that you two have been dancing in circles around each other for months.”

“It’s disgusting,” Toph added, unhelpfully.

“Sokka doesn’t like me like that. He’s been acting weird and avoiding me for weeks,” you reasoned, not bothering to deny your own feelings. It’s not like it mattered.

“He’s not avoiding you today,” Aang mentioned as he leaned on Katara’s shoulder. You supposed you couldn’t deny it, but before you had the chance to respond, Sokka was back.

“I’m sorry if things are still a bit messy, but you can head in and go to bed if you’re tired. I can take the couch.”

“Hey, Snoozles, Zuko and I called dibs,” Toph snapped. “Take the floor.”

“Zuko has a bed here, you know.” Sokka put a hand on his hip.

“Yeah,” Zuko looked up at him from his position on the couch, “but now I’m here, and I’m not moving.” Toph nodded in agreement.

“Then I’ll take Zuko’s room,” Sokka amended.

“Okay, then,” Zuko conceded.

“What?!?” Katara cried indignantly, sitting up straight like a bolt. “You told me I couldn’t!”

“Yeah, because he doesn’t want you and Twinkle-Toes canoodling,” Toph cackled. Katara scoffed.

“We do not canoodle!”

Sokka turned to you as you yawned again. “Get some sleep,” he said. As much as you wanted to refuse, you couldn’t resist the opportunity to finally get some rest. You slowly stood up and walked yourself towards Sokka’s room, and he took your spot on the floor. “Goodnight.”

You took a deep breath when you entered Sokka’s room and switched on the light. You had been in his room once before, when you offered him a ride to a lecture, and he wasn’t awake on time—you had come in and smacked him with one of your notebooks. It was small—Sokka felt bad that Zuko paid most of their rent with his rich-person money and had actually convinced him to go for a cheaper apartment when they had decided to move in together.

You got the vague sense that you needed to shower, but you were too tired to worry about it, and you didn’t want to fish your toiletries out of your stuffed overnight bag. You checked your phone once, and saw you had a text from Katara.

Sokka was paying more attention to you than Mythbusters, Y/N. The MYTHBUSTERS!!!

You rolled your eyes and shot back a quick, “whatever.” And for once, your overwhelming exhaustion drowned out the fluttering feeling in your gut as you climbed into Sokka’s bed. You were asleep as soon as your head hit the pillow.

You could tell when you woke up that it was way too early. You could also tell that you weren’t in your own bed, and then you remembered. Right. Sokka gave you his room. You sat up, pushing the comforter off of you. You had a shaky feeling in your chest, and you knew you’d woken up from a bad dream, but you couldn’t quite remember what it was. You felt like you did when you were driving the night before—jittery, a million thoughts going through your mind all at once.

You decided it might be a good course of action to get a glass of water to help you calm down and relieve the dryness in your throat that further prevented you from going back to sleep. You quietly tip-toed out of Sokka’s bedroom. You noticed multiple papers with sketches and diagrams from his engineering classes scattered about the room, and it gave you a little bit of comfort.

You tried to be as quiet as possible so as not to disturb the others, who were all fast asleep in the living room. You quickly got your glass of water and downed it, not wanting to bring it into Sokka’s room and risk spilling on any of his stuff. You made your way back to his room and crawled back under the covers. No sooner had you pulled the blanket up over yourself did you hear the door open once again.

“Oh.” Sokka’s frame stood in the doorway. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you. I was just coming in to get something.”

“It’s okay, I wasn’t asleep,” you said, sitting up.

“Oh.” A beat. “Are you okay?”

The tone of his voice made you pause. It was how he’d been talking to you for weeks, save for last night.

“Yeah.” You put a hand to your head, trying to clear your thinking. “I think I’m just a bit stressed after all of the driving and stuff. I hate it.” You gave a dry laugh, and you could see Sokka approach you in the dark.

“I thought you said the drive went fine,” Sokka pressed, now standing next to you.

“It did!” You assured him. “I just don’t like driving, especially at night. It makes me nervous. Why did you think I was calling so much?”

“Oh,” Sokka said dumbly. He was close enough now that you could make out his features. He frowned at you. “Can I sit?” He asked after a long pause. You nodded and awkwardly scooched over to make space for him.

“You know, if you wanted someone to drive with you, I could’ve gone.”

“Sokka,” you laughed, “it’s 8 hours. What could you possibly do to stay entertained up there for three days?”

Sokka shrugged and smiled at you. “I have friends over that direction.”

“Of course you do,” you rolled your eyes. Sokka somehow knew everybody and was friends with almost everyone he knew.

“Plus,” Sokka bumped his shoulder against yours, “I think your parents would love me.” You elbowed him in response, trying to quell the fluttering of your heart and the words that threatened to bubble up from your throat.

“Seriously,” Sokka told you finally, turning to look at you. Even in the dark, his eyes were startlingly blue. “I could’ve at least stayed on the phone with you for a bit.

“I don’t want to ask that of you. You have more important things to do.”

“No, I really don’t,” Sokka said, looking you in the eye. You gulped in the silence, and suddenly everything felt like too much. You could feel his leg up against yours, and his eyes were so blue, and his hair was hanging out of his ponytail, and he said it like he meant it, and you were surrounded by his drawings and his smell and I like you I like you I like you and—

“I like you.”

For a moment you thought you had spoken your thoughts aloud, but that wasn’t your voice, and Sokka was still looking at you and there was something about his expression, and—oh. You sat there with your mouth hanging open.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N, I shouldn’t have said that, and…” He trailed off when you put your hand on his chest to stop him.

“Are you joking?” You asked plainly, looking up at him. Sokka stared back.

“…no.”

With just that one little word you felt the thoughts you’d been holding back for the past months flood up, as if a dam had been broken, and there were so many things that you wanted to say all at once, but your mouth wasn’t working.

“Me, too,” you replied dumbly, and Sokka cocked his head at you.

“What?”

“I like you, too,” you mumbled, leaning forward to bury your face in his chest. You were sure that he’d be able to see your horrible blushing, even in the dim light. You felt Sokka chuckle a little bit.

“What was that?”

You felt your blush deepen as he gently pushed you away from him. “I like you, too,” you repeated, finally looking him in the eye. Sokka gently laid a hand on your cheek, and your eyes fluttered shut as he leaned in.

Kissing Sokka was somehow softer than you had expected. He wasn’t exactly a subtle person—loud, passionate, outgoing, and too smart for his own good—but his kiss was gentle and loving and ended way too soon.

“Do you wanna go out some time?”

“Um, obviously,” you giggled, leaning in as he wrapped you up in a hug, pulling you close.

“Just thought I’d check,” Sokka hums, hand circling your back gently as you yawn into his shoulder. “Now you need to get some sleep.”

“ZUKO, Y/N AND SOKKA ARE CANOODLING!” You and Sokka jumped, awoken by Katara’s yelling. You blinked your eyes open to see all four of your friends standing in Sokka’s bedroom doorway.

“We were not canoodling!” Sokka shouted indignantly.

“This isn’t my room, Katara. It’s not under my jurisdiction,” Zuko shrugged.

“Why couldn’t Aang and I take your room?” Katara demanded. You wiped the sleep from your eyes and felt yourself blushing.

“My room is a canoodle-free zone, Katara.”

Zuko and Katara bickered for a while, while Toph laughed and Aang stood by awkwardly, although you didn’t miss him shooting Sokka a thumbs-up. When it seemed like they’d forgotten you were there completely, Sokka cleared his throat.  

“Excuse me, guys.” Katara and Zuko stopped bickering to look at him. “If you don’t mind, I want to go make Y/N and I some pancakes.” With that, Sokka stood and took your hand to pull you along with him. You blushed.

“Only if you make us some,” Toph crossed her arms and blocked your way.

“Fine, Toph,” Sokka relented, but smiled as he pulled you closer and wrapped an arm around your waist. “Good morning, by the way. Want some more pancakes?”

#sokka fanfic #atla fanfic #modern au #sokka x reader #sokka #sokka x y/n #atla

[thejoshuaglenn-blog]

You're a Good Boy, Charlie Brown

The key purpose of a Tumblr blog here is really a brain dump: logging thoughts, feelings, narrative and such is easier in long form than via a brief Facebook post that generates half a dozen "oh no, what happened" comments. As I'm writing this, most of it seems like bullet points and organized timelines. If you're looking for a TL;DR or current state of thoughts, it's the last section titled The Day After, and the Day After That.

A few days ago, Niko and I said goodbye to our first dog, Charlie Brown.

I'm not keen to chat about it a lot. There's more to process than I have time to type; most of it centers around being fair to myself and to Niko, taking the time to appreciate his life without beating ourselves up, and avoiding the overwhelming mire that grief can become.

Joining the Family

CB was a rescue, a hapless victim of the 2016 Louisiana floods and a happy-go-lucky participant in a "dog for a day" event hosted by a local shelter. I fully expected to rent him out for a day, give him a few great experiences, and return him. For myriad reasons, we never did bring him back to Pet Rescue by Judy, and he's been with us ever since.

At adoption, he was estimated to be around 4-8 years old. With a kicked-in shoulder that offset his collarbone and ribcage, some assorted dental issues, and other little signs of damage (cigarette burns, what the heck is wrong with people), it was tough to really gauge his age. That means he left this world at the ripe old age of something like 9-13, which isn't terrible considering all he'd been through.

Charlie Brown was the iconic good boy. He seldom barked, he never licked or jumped, and just wanted to be in the same room as his favorite people. He had a few toys that he cherished, never ripping them up, just carrying them with him from room to room and whining a bit, unsure of where he could store them for safekeeping. Apart from some separation anxiety issues and an occasional urge to bolt out the door and book it as far as he could, CB was by all accounts an easy first dog: more like a low-effort cat than anything else.

Slowly Falling Apart

Over time, the health issues increased. Intermittent but predictably regular upset tummy. Bad gums, bad teeth. Random gooey skin lesion. Eye ulcers. Since October, we've been averaging 2-3 unplanned vet visits a month — many incurring some hefty bills. We'd take out another credit card, find another financing plan, but it adds up. So does the emotional toil on the family; so does the anxiety toll on the dog.

You start to think about quality of life for the dog, you know? He'd had a few teeth removed to sew up his gums after they kinda detached and fell apart from his jawbone — so he couldn't chew anything hard. Couldn't even chew a tennis ball, which was the only toy he took interest in anymore. Couldn't have any fun treats like peanut butter or other soft chews, as his tummy would have bad flare-ups that usually ended up with him attached to an IV bag. After finally settling in and learning to play well with Atlas, Charlie Brown started to get pretty irritable whenever Atlas got frisky.

He still loved running around outdoors, and was in otherwise great health.

I can't tell you how guilty that makes me feel, even now.

Moving to Waltham

Before we left Orlando, there were so many crisis moments in emergency vet offices where Niko and I talked about how long he could ride this roller coaster. CB obviously was not a fan of vet visits: loved the staff, but was notably anxious and panicky when separated from us, and he had grown very loathe to the process of poking, prodding, and whatnot.

Shortly after moving to Waltham (he was a champ in the U-Haul), Charlie Brown had a severe colitis flare-up. He was losing so much fluid and was growing very lethargic over the day. Vets are hard to get into these days: with the sweep of "pandemic puppy" adoptions, the vet industry as a whole is saturated with demand, and practices are responding as best they can. There were just no emergency clinics available to us within 20 miles, except one that noted "we have no availability, but you can come and wait, and we might be able to see you in 4 or 5 hours." So we did.

It was a very late night. Charlie Brown came home with us with another round of the same antibiotics he'd been taking almost regularly since December for his assorted ailments, and some probiotics. The next day, CB seemed a bit better and brighter, and Niko and I went into the city for part of the day. We came home to find he'd had an accident, but it was just... blood. So so much. And he looked so in pain, so ashamed, so guilty, so anxious.

So we went back to the vet ER. It was another very late night. I didn't know how many of these late nights we could afford; neither of us knew how many of these late nights it was fair to expect Charlie Brown to endure.

Do you plan on letting a pet go after an extended crisis visit? Do you plan on letting a pet go in a time of relative peace?

Camping Analogy, and a Best Last Day

When you're off on a long hike, and you see daylight start to fade as the sun begins to set, you begin to think about finding a good place to set up camp for the night. It's abysmal to do this after the sun has already gone down: where you could have had preparation and structure, you have chaos by flashlight.

A dog's life is in your hands. You're his whole world: all food, adventure, pampering, challenge, treatment, and care come from you. More than anything, we wanted Charlie Brown to have a peaceful, restful life. Now that we started thinking about it, we wanted to be able to give him a peaceful, restful passing as well: not as the climax of another overnight crisis with injections and yelps and beeps and cowering and anxiety and fear, but in the still quiet of familiar sounds and smells.

His very last day was a great one. Fresh Pond in Cambridge: a massive stroll around a colossal lake with an absurd bounty of new smells, kind people, happy dogs, and a brisk New England breeze. He got to swim in a little side pond — that boy lived for jumping into random lakes. He ran around the broad field that is Kingsley Bowl, chasing a thrown ball the very very farthest his sad pop could throw it — and he brought it back. We bought him a steak. We told him how much he brought to our lives.

And then we waited.

Lap of Love is a sort of home delivery service of dignified passing for pets. There's more to say on that hour than I care to pen, but throughout the procedure, we never left him. Charlie Brown passed enveloped in our arms and laps and sobs and hugs.

The Day After, and the Day After That

The rest is just thoughts. Your head starts to feel like a coffee shop where your grief comes in, sits at a table with you, and unloads. You nod, listen, and wish them well. I hope I can keep processing this way — I find it helpful, and less overwhelming.

I wish he had been able to play with his tennis ball more. Since his jaw surgery — even out on Kingsley Bowl, nearly a month and a half after he should have been fully healed — any kind of chewing would cause renewed bleeding and pain.

I wish we had hugged him more. But truth be told, he didn't like hugs. They made him uncomfortable. So we gave him a hand to lay his head on, or a knee for him to pop his head upon, as often as he liked.

There were so many times I felt inconvenienced by owning a dog at all. They weren't the majority, but... now each remembered time feels like a splinter of selfishness.

I miss how familiar the back of his neck felt under my hand, just behind the ears, where the waves of fur meet and crash and make a long cowlick of foof and fluff.

His happy smile and his stressed smile were very similar, but you could still tell which was which.

I loved being there for him in thunderstorms.

When you think about it, we sort of were hospice care for him. We weren't his original owners; we just wanted the rest of his life to be painless and fulfilling. He had so many trust issues when he first came to us. And in the end, he loved anyone he met.

I miss feeling around with my feet to make sure I don't step on him on my way to bed. I miss setting my feet on the floor as I wake, stooping down, and giving his head a good squishy rub.

He never did get to see Boston snow. I mean... thousands of dogs never get to see snow. But I was really looking forward to sharing that experience with him.

I wanted so badly to bring him to a point of health, and then say goodbye when he was feeling well. Seeing him have his Best Last Day, part of me whispered "murderer" with cold accuracy, and I have a hard time shaking it. He was so happy — but between jaw bleeding after playing with a tennis ball, seeing him scratch his eyes that were starting to ache with ulcers again... I know the unbridled happiness came with the reality of his declining health.

Atlas was the best thing that ever happened to that boy. I know Charlie Brown was at least a little disgruntled that his easy-going day-to-day had been interrupted by a chompy puppy, but Atlas brought out the young pup in CB: ripping palm fronds to shreds, playing tug, playing tag, meeting new dogs with confidence and assurance.

I used to get so mad at my mother-in-law for feeding Charlie Brown cinnamon donuts. I wish I'd given him more. Heck, I wish I'd given him more peanut butter. I'm frankly surprised he hadn't died of peanut butter overdose years ago.

Where Charlie's health had limits, we kept going with Atlas. That might mean taking Atlas out to play with a ball or a tug toy, because CB couldn't. It breaks my heart now to think of Charlie at the glass door just watching it happen, all because he physically couldn't play the same. I know he didn't understand that.

We took him out to Park Ave maybe once or twice. I wish it had been more. Truth be told, it was the same as the dog park, though: he was kind of a loner. Loads of people or dogs made him anxious. So while I might idealize the past and wish he had sat at our legs for lunch after lunch at an outdoor thoroughfare, ... I think he would have been miserable. I think he would have rather just curled up at the base of the couch and dozed while we watched a show.

He was so trusting. I could just drag him onto his back and onto my lap for cuddles and a good tummy rub. No complaints.

He looked so gaunt these past few months. I keep looking at earlier photos, and I really didn't realize just how grizzly and drawn he had become lately.

I miss seeing him randomly waiting for me outside the bathroom door — or curled up on the bath mat while I was in the shower, having sneakily nosed the door open and wanting my company while I was rinsing.

For his first few years with us, he was incredibly playful. I've been going through old videos — it's like going outside just blew his mind, and toys were either for cherishing daintily, or thrashing about and throwing to oneself and gnawing. He lost that after a time. He regained it a bit when Atlas joined the party. But it still faded. I'm sure that's inevitable, but it makes me sad to see the early vibrant puppy in those old recordings, and how different he had been in recent months.

[ohnobjyx]

you answer about celebrities being prudent with dating got me curious as western boys in bands, especially in the rock/alternative/rap scene, seem to have a reputation for dating/sleeping around a lot, do asian idols just not date/sleep around a lot or are they just better at hiding it because they are expected to?

Hi, anon! I’m slowly working through all the asks, but I remembered yours when I was watching this week hotpot episode from SDoC S3 (I’m wondering if I should write a post compiling all the candies, but I have so many asks pending).

To start with the answer, let’s put the disclaimer first: I don’t know celebrities, I’m a simple fan just like all of us. Whatever they do in their private life it’s their own thing, and I just simply try to place an objective view of their situation here.

Just a clarification: when we talk about idol or celebrity, I’m talking about those that are pretty successful in the industry (with their number of fans ranking in the millions). These are the tip of the iceberg in the industry however. The bulk of them have less fans, but are also less subjected to scrutiny by the public.

1. First of all they are prudent because it isn’t widely accepted as “good” that people date/sleep around a lot, especially among the older generations. However, many young people also feel that it’s unacceptable, and their opinions may vary from “they must be very promiscuous or they flicker a lot” to “if they haven’t been able to keep a relationship for long, there must be a problem with this person”.

2. We’ve already talked about the fact that celebrities are expected to uphold a clear and good moral example for their fans. They’ll be heavily criticized if they do things that aren’t socially approved, and it’ll impact negatively on their work prospects. So, I suppose that in the case any celebrity did date/sleep around, they’d have to be masters at hiding their “affairs”.

Let’s just imagine how a male idol’s gf fans (the type of fans that fantasize being their idol’s gf) would react if their idol publicly dated around with many girls. I don’t think that would end well.

3. Like I said at the beginning, I’m going to talk about those idols and celebrities that have more success in the industry.

So, when we talk about dating/sleeping around, there’s something that we can’t ignore: time.

I don’t know about the workload of the boy bands (especially, as you said, in the rock/alternative/rap scene) but the workload of an Asian idol is terrifying.

Let me show you a few examples:

a. Even before he debuted in the boy band, dd spent almost everyday hours dancing, no free weekends and barely vacations, since he was 13 and entered the company. As a child, he got myocarditis when he was learning to dance. As soon as he got discharged, he went back to dancing, and spent his summer vacations (just a month in China, btw, August) dancing from 1 pm to 9 pm everyday, to recover the lost ground (this really was a test for his love for dancing, but just imagine it: he could do 8 hours a day just because he liked it, how many hours would he pull when pressed by the company?)

b. To anyone unfamiliar with Asian culture, the Lunar New Year’s Eve is the most important celebration in Asian culture, a night when family gathers together to celebrate the arrival of the new year. Asian idols usually are full of work, even that same night, so they almost never spend the New Year’s Eve with their families. A famed actress (in her fifties), once said in a program: “my father died last year... and one of the things I regret the most is that I haven’t spent a single New Year’s Eve with him in the last 20 years”.

c. In 2015, a year after his debut with Uniq, dd posted on w/ibo: “Just another year that I can’t be with my parents on New Year’s Eve... just a little sad” (and from what I know, he hadn’t spent a single New Year’s Eve at home since his debut).

d. I don’t know if any of you are familiar with Running Man, another c-variety show that’s very popular in China (I recommended it, btw). They did a night-life special last year, and when the director announced the theme (that they’d start filming by 4 pm and continue through the night), the host were like “just that?”:

“Then like our usual jobs”, “I can stay awake longer than an owl”, “I’m also good at spending all-nighters”.

One of them actually said: it seems that they don’t really get what an actor’s job is... everyone say how many days and nights have you gone by without sleeping in you busiest times? Angelababy (that’s her stage name, yes): “When I was a model... I really spent  three days and three nights   without a single moment of sleep.” Li Chen: “Before I came here to film yesterday, I spent 4 days filming night scenes for my drama, so 4 nights without sleep.”

Song Yuqi: “If we count sleeping an hour a day... I went a full week without a full night of sleep. Yesterday was the longest I’ve been sleeping in the last month”.

Their attitude is what surprises me the most, to be honest... It’s like, “of course we would spend a whole night awake, no problem!”

e. One of the previous hosts from this show once said that from his daughter’s birth to her first birthday the amount of time he spent with her totalled to three months.

4. I actually remembered your ask yesterday when I was watching the hotpot episode because of this:

The hosts mentioned getting back at their hotels after filming at 6 am (I think they had been filming the episode during the day and most of the night, and wanted to film a part of the dance using the first daylight). Actually, dd was talking about ZYX making noise in his room practicing dance moves at 6 am (wtf dude, you just pulled an all-nighter, please sleep).

There was a stalker photo of dd taken at 3 am when dd was coming out of the filming site for SDoC S3, one of the other day (just imagine it: you’re leaving the workplace, after a hard day of work, and instead of getting into the car peacefully you have to escape from these people). 

This kind of workload is insane. When they aren’t filming, they are travelling to filming sites, filming tv shows episodes, filming commercials, doing interviews, photoshoots, practicing whatever show is coming up next, reading scripts, and a long list of things they do. Almost without a single moment to rest.

I remember an interview of another actor, in which he said that if he had a free moment in his schedule or a free day, he spent it sleeping and talking with his family.

I’m not saying that with this kind of schedule keeping a relationship is absolutely impossible, but it resembles greatly a long distance relationship, no matter where your home actually is. So dating around a lot is quite of... difficult? (at least in my opinion). And about sleeping around... maybe it’s just me, but if I had a free night with their workload... I’d pass out as soon as I was in my room, and that’s all the sleeping I can envision.

(Btw, this kind of work pace is a trend in China. I've been told that it’s actually common to have surgeons doing 36-hour shifts... here I was thinking that 24h shifts were outrageous).

5. However, it’s not impossible. It wasn’t so long ago that a scandal got out about an actor who was married and with an adult son AND still had time to keep a mistress.

I hope I haven’t rambled too much, anon, and that you find my answer useful!

Edit (thanks to @gremlin-02!): “you're missing the part about propaganda. chinese idols have to hold up "chinese culture/good morals/examples of good citizens" they are not gonna be promoting a play boy idol since it "corrupts" the family values and state system.”

You are absolutely right, and it’s also a point that supports the second part of this post. We tend to forget about it, but the national propaganda has shaped the country from its core. Without it, the country would be very different today. Not better or worse, just... different, since propaganda, for all its bad reputation, has played a large part in their economic growth and their position in the world economy today.

#ask #my post #I think I should create a tag for this kind of asks #c-culture #those who have questions (short or related to post) can leave a comment and I'll try to answer them when I can

[hotforharrison]

His Service ch 4: It’s the destination, not the journey

Chapter 3 <-- His Service Masterlist --> Chapter 5

Pairing: Tom Holland/Reader, eventual Harrison Osterfield/Reader

Summary: A series of memories of memories relating to the love of your life, Tom, and his service in the Army.

Word Count: 3,023

Warnings: Language and smut, my usual go-tos.

A/N: Longer than usual chapter! Poor reader! 

You walked up to the ticket counter at the airport, wheeling your suitcase behind you, giving her your ID. “I’m heading to the Lawton Fort Sill airport.”

“I’m sorry, ma’am, your connecting flight to Dallas Fort Worth has been canceled due to the weather. Would you like to take a later flight or receive a full refund?” the ticket agent told you.

“How much later?” you asked. “My boyfriend is graduating from basic training, and Family Day starts tomorrow morning.”

“We’re pretty booked up right now. Looks like the earliest open seat I have is at 11:30am, with a connecting flight to Lawton Fort Sill at 6:00pm, arriving at 8:40pm,” she said.

“I’d miss the entire Family Day!” You felt tears burning hot in your eyes. “Fine, though. I’ll take it. Since it was the weather, I take it there’s no free hotel room?”

She booked your new flight. “No, there’s not. I’m sorry again, ma’am.”

“It’s okay. Sometimes stuff happens,” you responded, with a shrug, before you turned around and headed back to the airport entrance.

Your ride was long gone already. You’d chosen an airport a few hours away from home to save significantly on your plane tickets, which was now pointless because you were going to have to pay for an extra hotel room for the night.

No one from London was able to make the trip for his graduation, so Tom was going to be alone for Family Day now. Lovely.

You used your phone to find a last minute hotel room near the airport and get an Uber to take there. Since that was done, you opened your messenger app to text Tom.

You: Not sure when you’ll have your phone back, but my flight got canceled, and they weren’t able to get me on a flight until tomorrow afternoon. I won’t be getting in until tomorrow night. I’m so sorry I’ll be missing Family Day, but I should hopefully be there for graduation.

With a heavy sigh, you went to wait for your Uber.

----

The hotel you went to was overbooked. In fact, all the hotels within a reasonable price range in the area were booked up due to the flight cancellations.

You spent over two hours trying to find somewhere to stay so you could be a functional human being for traveling the next day.

It left you over half an hour away from the airport in a motel that had seen better days, and cost entirely too much for what it was, but at least it was something.

You settled down in your room, ready to take a shower and head to bed.

After being used so much, your phone really needed to be charged, but you quickly discovered that you’d only packed the USB cable half of your charger.

You were so exhausted that you decided to just take a shower and set the alarm clock in the room for early enough that you could go buy another power adapter at the nearest store.

Tom probably wouldn’t get his phone back that early, so you had plenty of time to charge yours for when he got in touch with you.

The bed was uncomfortable, but you eventually drifted off to sleep.

----

Daylight was streaming through the edges of the curtains when you woke up, and you immediately panicked.

It was after 11am, and you weren’t even out of bed. Your flight was supposed to take off in about half an hour. Your hotel was over half an hour away. That flight was not going to happen.

You checked the alarm clock and found you’d set the alarm for 6PM instead of 6AM.

Even though you were missing that flight, you still hurried to check out of the motel so you could head to the airport via a taxi you called from your room, since your phone was dead.

The taxi was late, and you didn’t get to the airport until almost 1pm. Then, you waited in line to go to the ticket counter once again.

“I’m late for my flight, which was entirely my fault, and I’d like to book a new one to Lawton Fort Sill, as soon as possible,” you said.

“I can get you to Dallas Fort Worth today, but you’d be on stand-by for the last two flights to Lawton Fort Sill,” the ticket agent replied.

“Thank you. I’ll do that,” you told him, handing over your card to pay for another plane ticket and to check your bag. It would be worth it to see Tom again.

You had slightly over two hours before your flight took off. At least there would be a shop in the airport to buy a new power adapter after you got through security, and somewhere to plug it in.

Security was relatively painless, since you hadn’t brought much with you that wasn’t in your checked bag.

Before you headed to your gate, you quickly walked around trying to find a shop that might have a power adapter, eventually finding one with a drastically overpriced charger for your phone.

Your gate had some power outlets, and you plugged your phone in to charge, powering it on as soon as you could.

You had unread messages from Tom.

Tom: It’s not your fault the flight was canceled, sweetheart. I have my phone back for a bit now, so I’m going to call.

Tom: Is everything alright? It went straight to voicemail. Are you on an earlier flight?

Tom: Well, Family Day is starting soon, and we have to give our phones back. I’ll see you tomorrow morning. I can’t wait to be with you again, love.

For the second time, you’d missed talking to him. You wanted to curl up in a ball and cry again, like you had when you missed his phone call before, but you settled for just the crying part. You’d pull yourself back together before your flight to Dallas.

----

Your flight to Dallas was long, but you made your way to the gate for the flight to Lawton Fort Sill. Both of them were booked up, but you did get on a morning flight. Unless the flight defied the laws of physics, you were going to miss the ceremony, but you'd definitely get to see him for his 36 hour pass off base after that. You couldn’t wait.

You’d already talk to the hotel you booked to let them know you still intended to stay for the next two nights, and that you wanted them to give a keycard to Tom if he showed up before you did.

You pulled out your phone to text Tom to let him know.

You: I’m so sorry I missed your call again. Fuck the universe right now. This trip so far has been a complete shitshow. I’ll tell you all about it later. I won’t be at the airport until early tomorrow afternoon, and I’ll head straight to the hotel. I’m attaching the confirmation page with all the booking info, in case you get there before I do. I already called and told them you might be there first. Hopefully, they made a note of it somewhere.

You put on your headphones and decided to watch some YouTube videos to decompress, since you were spending the night in the airport at the terminal.

You’d already set a dozen different alarms. Oversleeping was not going to be an issue again.

-----

You thought the flight to Dallas had been long, but the flight to Lawton was infinitely longer, the seconds until you would get to see Tom again passing by slower than molasses.

Even though you’d been up for almost 24 hours, sleep wasn’t going to happen when you were so keyed up. You wouldn’t be able to relax until you were in Tom’s arms again.

You did everything you could to help pass the time. Reading took too much focus. You hated every single song that came up on shuffle on your mp3 player. You’d turned off your phone to preserve battery life, paranoid another incident would happen with your phone dying at the worst possible time.

“I hate to be nosy, but are you okay?” the woman seated next to you asked.

“Yeah, I’m just seeing my boyfriend for the first time in a couple months. We haven’t even been able to talk on the phone. He’s graduating from basic training this morning,” you explained.

“I figured as much. I’ve been there and done that. My husband’s been in for over 9 years now. I’d recommend checking out online groups for military girlfriends and wives for support. I’m part of some on Facebook, and it’s been really helpful, especially during deployments.”

“Thank you for the advice. I’ll keep that in mind,” you told her.

“You look like you could use a distraction. So, tell me about your boyfriend,” she said.

“Well, his name is Tom,” you started.

----

The flight landed smoothly, and you turned on your phone as soon as the flight attendant said it was allowed.

You’d found a new friend in the Army wife seated next to you, Hannah, and you added each other on Facebook.

“Have fun seeing Tom, honey,” she told you as you exited the plane.

“I definitely will. Thank you for earlier,” you said.

She pulled you into a hug. “Anytime. Don’t hesitate to message me if you want to talk.”

“I won’t,” you agreed as you parted ways and went to baggage claim to grab your suitcase.

Tom hadn’t messaged you again yet.

You headed to the hotel, fidgeting the entire ride there. It wouldn’t be long now.

After you checked in and got your key card, you headed up to the room, annoyed at how slow the elevator seemed to be moving.

Ideally, you’d be able to take a shower before he arrived and make yourself look cute.

You opened the door and walked in, heading straight for the shower.

The bathroom door opened, and you immediately startled.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry. I think they gave me a room that was already taken. I’ll go back to the front desk now,” you babbled as you grabbed your suitcase.

“Darling, it’s me. I wanted to surprise you,” Tom said he as he stepped into the room.

“Tom!” you cried out, abandoning your suitcase and launching yourself into his arms. “I’ve missed you so much.”

His arms wrapped around you. “Me too.”

You knew how tightly you were clinging to him was probably uncomfortable, but you couldn’t bring yourself to stop.

He pulled away slightly and looked at your face with concern, thumb coming up to wipe away your tears. “Are you alright?”

“Overwhelmed and happy tears. I haven’t slept in over 24 hours, and I’m kind of all over the place, too,” you admitted.

“Oh, sweetheart.” He moved to kiss you, but you stopped him.

“Let me brush my teeth and take a shower first?” you requested.

He stroked your cheek instead of kissing you. “Of course. Do you mind if I join you?”

You leaned into his touch. “Not at all. Want to turn on the shower to warm up while I brush my teeth?”

“Sure.” He was quick to shed his clothes and head into the bathroom while you got your toothbrush, toothpaste, and shower supplies out of your suitcase.

The shower turned on before you brushed your teeth, and you were as quick as possible while still being thorough.

Your clothes joined his on the floor, and you found that he’d already gotten in and was cleaning himself off.

You slipped in next to him, immediately noticing the water pressure wasn’t the best, and there wasn’t a ton of space for two people. It was still workable, though.

Now that you could see him without a hat, the first thing you noticed was his new buzzcut. As much as you’d loved his gorgeous curls, he definitely still looked good, as devastatingly sexy as he always was, just a little different.

You ran your fingers lightly over his head, enjoying the feel of the short hair on your fingertips. Your thoughts wandered to what it would feel like against your thighs. Knowing Tom, you’d find that out soon enough.

The second thing you noticed was that he was leaner and more muscular than he had been. He put in time at the gym before he enlisted, but his workouts weren’t nearly as intense as basic training would be.

“Damn, you look really good, babe,” you told him, sincerely. “I was a little nervous it would take some getting used to, but I love it.”

He smiled brightly. “I was a bit worried, too, that you wouldn’t like my new look. I do plan on growing my hair out some, though. There’s plenty of regulation haircuts with a little more length.”

“It’s up to you. I like you fine just the way you are,” you promised.

He kissed you again, longer and wetter, and slid his hand down your body.

You laughed softly. “Let me get clean before we get dirty.”

“Of course, love. I’ll help,” he offered, reaching down to grab your shampoo, knowing how much you loved when he washed your hair.

You got under the spray until your hair and body were wet, then turned around.

His fingers worked the shampoo into your hair, slowly and thoroughly massaging your scalp, just the way you liked.

You clenched your thighs together. His touch was intensifying the arousal pulsing insistently between your legs. You slipped your hand between your legs.

He noticed and pushed it away. “I know, darling, I know. After you’re clean, I’m going to make you cum so hard you won’t remember what century it is, and then I’ll do it again, and again, and again.”

You whimpered, and were very grateful that he sped up the process of bathing you. The last place he cleaned was between your thighs, quick but thorough, and just left you wanting even more.

“Alright, we’re done.” He turned off the shower. “Just need to get dried off, and then I’ll take such good care of you.”

Instead of letting him dry you off like you normally would, you snatched the towel from him. You were still a little damp when you were done toweling yourself off and may have raced to the bed, but he didn’t say anything.

You plopped down with your legs spread, waiting for him to move between them.

He didn’t hesitate, positioning your legs over his shoulders. His tongue licked a broad stripe from your entrance to your clit. He lapped at your clit, pushing two slender fingers into you and pumping them in and out.

His buzzcut tickled a bit against your thighs, but you found that you liked it, a new sensation to add to the others.

“More,” you begged, squirming against his face.

He worked you faster with his tongue and pressed a third finger in next to the other two.

That was exactly what you needed, and you moaned, loud and long. Your hands scrambled to find something to do as you grew closer to your first climax, since the curls you usually gripped were gone.

His free hand reached up to grab yours, intertwining his fingers with yours.

You squeezed his hand, and moved the other hand onto the bedspread below you, finding that was enough.

“God, Tom, I’m so close. Please,” you groaned.

He knew exactly what to do, sucking your clit into his mouth and working his tongue over it just the way you liked.

Your orgasm hit you hard, sparks of pleasure igniting throughout your body. He didn’t stop, and neither did your orgasm. Eventually you disconnected from awareness, feeling like you were floating in a sea of fireworks.

“Sweetheart?” you heard Tom ask from far away.

“Tom?” you asked, your voice sounding weird in your head.

“Are you alright? I kind of lost you there for a minute,” he said, concerned and closer.

You opened your eyes, to see him at face level instead of between your thighs. “Jesus, I’ve never cum like that before.”

He softly laughed. “I broke you.”

You grinned. “You did, but it was amazing. You’re an orgasm wizard. But now, it’s your turn.”

“I’ll need a minute. Seeing, and hearing, and feeling you like that already got me off,” he admitted, sheepishly.

“That’s really hot. Also, this is your side of the bed,” you teased.

He grinned. “Worth it.”

Now that you were relaxed in your post-orgasmic bliss, you found yourself yawning.

It was contagious, Tom yawning louder and longer than you had. “Fuck, I’m knackered. We’ve both been up for a long time.”

“Yeah. I don’t want to miss out on time together, though,” you complained.

“We still have.” He glanced over at the alarm clock. “Over 32 hours. I’m not going to be awake for the next 32 hours when I have to head to my next duty station right after I get back. You’re also not staying awake for four days straight.”

“I guess you’re right,” you conceded, sighing.

“I’m always right,” he said, playfully.

You laughed. “Hardly, but I’ll give you this time.”

Both of you moved to get under the covers, and you moved into his arms, where you belonged.

“I missed you so fucking much,” he told you softly. “Missed this. Thought about you all the time, especially when it was rough. Your letters were everything during that 9 weeks of hell. Sorry I didn’t write back more.”

You pressed a kiss to the nearest skin you could reach, his chest. “Don’t be. I understand. I just wish there was more I could have done to help. Really, it was the least I could do for you. God, I love you.”

“I love you, too, darling. So much. I wish we had more time together, but we’ll make the most of what we do have,” he promised. “Now, sleep. I can tell how exhausted you are.”

You closed your eyes and listened to his heartbeat against your ear, quickly drifting off to the familiar rhythm.

tag list: @spooky-haz @farfromhaz @eeyore101247 @adayasgeorgia @moorehollandplz @softnessparker @dasexydevitt13 @imagine-lovebug @robbinholland @strang-ersclub @hollandisapuppy @goldenpeaxh @legendsofwholock @superheroesaremytea @tomblrholland @niiight-dreamerrrr @spidermanffh3000 @devildisguiseasangel @theyy-lovemo @spidergiirl @jinx4karma @tinycertain

#tom holland #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland fanfic #tom holland imagine #tom holland scenarios #tom holland smut #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland x y/n #tom holland reader #tom holland you #tom holland reader insert

[amandaearl]

How I Get Thru Ottawa Winters

1. Expect a 6-month experience.

It is not uncommon for Ottawa to have snow and cold between November and April. This way my hopes are not dashed when the weather gets colder again after the January thaw.

 2. Dress according to the weather. Pay no attention to the calendar.

Spring fever is a term that I use to describe the hope I feel when the number of daylight hours increases. It’s wonderful, but no matter how great the temptation is to start wearing fewer clothes as spring fever hits, I resist. I look at the actual temperature and dress accordingly. I try to take glory in the bundling. I wear a lot of red in winter because red makes me feel happy, intense and fiery.

 3. Notice what makes winter beautiful.

 The other day when we had the big storm with the massive snowflakes, I was at home and cozy. It was so quiet. I felt safe and comfortable. It was windy otherwise I would have gone out and bundled up, enjoying the silence and the feeling of being wrapped up and alone in the quiet.

 The angle of the light changes from the harsh white of early winter to the soft yellow of the oncoming spring. I live on the 19th floor with a southern exposure so the change in colour, intensity and angle of the sun really affects me. On January mornings, I have to close the curtains to avoid having the sun in my eyes.

 I love the way frost paints flowers on the windows and ice hangs from trees and rooftops like jewels in the sun.

 4. Do not compare Ottawa winters to winters elsewhere. I love the photos of flowers I see on BC folks’ social media accounts, but it is easy to be envious, to experience a bitter disappointment that our magnolias will not start to bloom until May and if we’re lucky we might have a paltry crocus or daffodil in April. This just makes those croci and daffis ever sweeter to me when they come. Our blooms are defiant af. Be like the blooms. Be a feisty tulip.

 5. Give money to the folks on the street. At this time of year, I give extra. I chat with homeless people and I bring whatever toonies and loonies (sometimes $5) as I can with me, putting the money in a change purse in my winter coat so I can easily give. I also usually donate to Cornerstone Housing for Women, a charity that provides emergency housing to women in need in the downtown core. There’s also the Ottawa Foodbank or other charities for donations of money and items that help. I have found that the more I give to others, the better I feel, the less lonely and blue I feel.

 6. Get Moving

 This year I joined a fitness program at Carleton University for 55+ folk (Senior Ravens), and it’s made a great difference. I am outside at least three times a week, whereas in the past I had a tendency to cocoon too much, which not only makes my body sore, but also makes me blue.

 One of the classes is aquafit. It is great fun to dance around in the pool with fellow aquafit participants to the music.

 I am writing a manuscript with the working title of “Motion and Light” about the Senior Raven experience.

 7. Get Social

 This one is harder for me. My instinct in winter is hibernation and isolation. The gym has helped. Three days a week I interact with fellow fitness participants. After my Monday class I hang out with a few of the regulars. We have coffee and chat. It’s lovely.

 I am not a night person at all and these days I am exhausted in the evenings. I used to attend a lot of literary events but it’s harder for me to do so these days because of this exhaustion. Literary events have always been my go to for society. I still seek out my literary pals but more on social media these days.

 8. Make Plans for Spring

 I have verified that Carleton’s Senior Ravens program will continue in the spring, and I plan to continue taking the fitness classes.

 Once the spring arrives, I plan to walk from Carleton to the Fletcher Wildlife Garden, a 20-minute walk from Carleton U.

 I imagine myself walking outside with headphones and a fanny pack. I have even purchased the fanny pack. It is peony petal pink. (not the fuchsia, but a pale shade).

 9. Glory in the Cocoonery

 I bake cookies, read good books, watch films, take long naps buried under the covers (or outside of them during a hot flash). I make playlists of music to help me through. Songs like Could Be So Happy by the Heartless Bastards bring me great joy (“gonna keep on going, I don’t want to stand still. … oh I’m longing to be…out in the sweet unknown”) The xmas holidaze often result in a slow down and a quieting. I take advantage of the slowness to reflect, to write, to create and to rest.

 10. Remember that winter ends.

 Sending love and solidarity to those for whom winter is hard on the body and the psyche. I know it feels like fucking forever, but winter will end…eventually.

#winter #Ottawa #getting through

[redefiningthirtysomething]

Ever have a family member that you didn't like? so much so that if they weren't related to you, you would never even consider being their friend? I have one, and that's my little sister. Sad isn't it? It wasn't always this way.

Before I get into why we don't speak, I'm not coming from a place of judgement. I'm nobody to judge, which she doesn't understand. She thinks I judge her, but in all honesty she has made poor Choices and she doesn't take accountability. I decided to set boundaries with her and that makes me "judgy" apparently.

Let's call her Rain. Rain is 5 years younger than me, so that makes her 32. She's the baby of the family and has really taken that title to the next level. This girl has always been the "crazy" one, partying a lot, following bands on tour in Mexico, boy crazy ... always getting her way. That's ok too, as long as she was always being safe. I understood that when she was 18, 19 ... 20. Rain talks a lot of shit for someone who doesn't have their shit together, and I swear it comes back to her each time. Whatever she was talking shit on happens to her.

Anyway, I can go on and on about her crazy childhood and teen years, I could probably write a book about it, time I dont have right now though. I'm just going to jump forward a bit.

2012. She went through a divorce a few years ago from the father of her kids. Very ugly, bitter divorce. Rain has 2 kids, a girl who's 10 and a boy who's 6. Rain got pregnant by a one night stand And they were forced to get married by his parents, they are very religious and felt it was the right thing. I didnt agree with that, but she went ahead and did it. They tried to make the marriage work, they got pregnant again with the boy, hoping it would help them. Rain was fed up though, she hated her life, she wanted to go out and party, be with her friends who were living their lives, but she couldn't. She hated it. She used to live next door to me, we lived in a small apartment in LA and when the neighbors moved we told them to apply for it and they got it. They lived there for about a year until one day Rain decided to leave. She took her kids and they moved in with my mom. Her husband was beside himself, he asked me for advice. I didnt know the ins and outs of the relationship, things are always different behind closed doors right ? She claimed that he beat her, he controlled her, abused her. He claimed she would sneak out to go party and didnt want to care for the kids. A lot of back and forth ... very different stories. So, he stayed in the apartment for about another year before he gave up and filed for divorce. He hoped she would come back, but she was very happy living her new life. She was living rent free and was able to go out, since our mom was home and able to watch the kids. Ok, cool.

Divorce was done and she was free. She started dating, sleeping around ... no judgement, she was single. As long as she was safe. BUT, we found out she moved some guy into my moms condo without my mom knowing. My mom works and travels alot, so it's easy for this to happen. But when my mom found out, she was upset, but didn't do anything about it. I was mad only because she has a little girl and she didn't really know this guy. Ya know? Plus the kids didn't have their own rooms, they slept with her. It was just weird for me. Anyway, couple years later they broke up and he moved out. Then another guy, and another one ... I didn't like the fact that her kids met all these new guys, or that she moved them in. It's like she cant be without a man.

Ex husband fought for 50/50 custody (thank God) and had them on the weekend. Every weekend. Also, ex husband got remarried but Rain doesn't get along with new wife. I wonder why to be honest, I met her and she's nice. I guess it's a territorial thing ? The kids love their stepmom, so that's all that matters.

Ok, now we are in 2018. I'm pregnant with Olivia. We had a falling out for a few months because she stole 2k from our mom. Not cool. They have the same name, so it was easy for her. So I hadn't spoken to her but the day I gave birth she showed up at the hospital. We spoke as if we were never in an argument. It's weird how sisters can do that, right ? I let it go, if mom didn't care why should I. After having Olivia my mom wanted me to stay at her place for 2 weeks so she could help me while I recovered. So, we moved in right after I got out of the hospital. First couple of days were nice, rain was there and was helping with the baby. Her kids were ecstatic to have us there, Bella was having a blast. I had heard of a new boyfriend that she had, but I hadn't yet met. She wanted to take it slow and not introduce him yet. I understand since all the rest were douchbag.

Rain received sad news about an ex boyfriend from high school who had been killed in a hit and run. I remember him, he was the sweetest. They had remained friends over the years so she was devastated. She planned to attend the funeral but didn't want to take her kids. Since I was staying there I offered to watch the kids, I didnt want them to have to go to the funeral.

Side note: I rarely offer to help with her kids because she never shows up the time she says. Also, I used to pick up the kids from school and I had to take them to my place until she got home, usually late and I had to help with homework and dinner. It was hard for us sometimes as we had things to do and we had to take her kids with us. However her kids love us, they say we are the parents they wish they had.

Ok, back to the story. She goes to the funeral.

Day 1: A few hours go by and it's getting later and later. I'm about 5 days post partum, so naturally I'm exhausted. Mom is at work, so we're just at my moms place hanging out. I text her, no response. I text again, no response. I'm starting to worry. I put all the kids to bed and assure the kids they'll see their mom in the morning. Around midnight my phone rings and it's an unknown number. I answered right away since I was worried about rain. It's one of rains old friend from high school who attended the funeral. He says to me that Rain had a lot to drink and was not able to get home. He says to me that she's ok, it was a rough day for all of them and he would bring her home in the morning. I had no choice, so I agreed and we hung up.

(Come to find out later that was her boyfriend on the line, pretending to be a friend from HS, she had left the funeral hours ago)

Day 2: We wake up and we get the kids ready for school. I'm still trying to get used to the new baby while juggling breakfast for the kids. Her kids kept asking about mom, so I told them she was at her best friend's house because it got late. Eli drove all the kids and then left for work. I'm home all day at my moms, had a few visitors wanting to see the baby. No word from Rain yet. No word from Rain all day. Eli picks up all the kids after school and brings them home. We make dinner and play, while attempting to call and text Rain for an answer. Mom is calling Rain leaving voicemails telling her to get her ass home. No call backs and no reply. We all go to bed. Around 2 am I heard my bedroom door open but it was dark and I could not see, I heard keys and the front door close. It took me a minute to get up, post csection, it's hard. Who was here?

Day 3: woke up, its daylight and bright in the house. I go to the kids room, maybe Rain showed up last night, maybe shes asleep. I walk in to see the kids asleep, but no Rain. I walk into her closet and I see stuff has been taken, shoes and clothes. I look for a toothbrush and it's gone. Perfumes, gone. Hmmm did Rain come last night to get her stuff ? I text Rain, now I'm mad. I'm frantically texting her that she better reply and I threaten to call ex husband. Oh? Guess what ? I got a reply. Interesting.

She texted something along the lines of: hey, its Rain. Sorry I haven't texted you. I'm having a rough time with S death. I need some time. I feel so lost. I'm with J at his place (J is her new boyfriend) . Are you ok to watch the kids, I'll be back. I'll text you.

My response: uh, well yea I mean I guess bit what should I tell them ? When are you coming back? Look, I know this is rough so I'll hang on to them until tomorrow, cool ?

I got no response after that, but at least I know she was ok. I updated mom and middle sister and we all felt better but were still shocked about how inconsiderate she was being.

Day 4: no text or phone call at all. We get the kids to school, pick them up, get homework done. Kids shower and go to bed. Her daughter who was maybe 7 or 8 at the time was worried. She was texting her too, I read her messages : mom, please come home. Where are you ?

I was so mad at this point. Her daughter was so worried and slept at the foot of the bed every night waiting for her mom. So Infuriating. I'm still exhausted and in pain.

I get a call from cousin in Florida, at around 10 pm which his time was 1am. He calls me and asks me what's going on? I had not yet told him what was happening so I was wondering what he was referring to. Rain had just called him. She was drunk out of her mind in DTLA in some bar, she was crying and yelling about how she Hates her life, how she Hates being a mom and Hates everything. Cousin told her to calm down and that he would call me to go pick her up in DTLA. We called her back on three way but cousin told me to be quiet. I listened to that mess for 30 minutes before I had to hang up. She was yelling and cussing, she told him NOT to tell me because I'm judgy ass bitch, wanna be perfect mom and I'll talk shit to her.

At this point, I'm over her. How can she do this to her kids? To me ? I'm over here, still freaking bleeding after my delivery, making sure her kids are safe and fed and loved. While she's out partying ? At bars ? I called cousin back and told him that I will not go get her in DTLA.

Day 5: I think this was a Thursday now, we had picked up the kids from school and went to shakeys pizza for dinner. No texts or calls from Rain all day. I was considering calling ex husband since the weekend was getting close. But, I remembered that he lost his weekend privileges for hitting the little boy. I didn't know what to do at this point.

Side note: little boy has behavior issues, he's been held back from kindergarten for his behavior and bad grades. He spit in his step moms face and ex husband hit him with a belt that left a mark. Rain took him to court to get full custody. He didnt lose the kids however, he had to attend parenting and anger management classes, which he did and his case was dismissed.

Day 6: no word yet. I texted her boyfriend and I told him to bring her home. I told him she has worried children. I asked him if he knew she has 2 kids at home. Want to know what his reply was?

Thank you for your concern.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR CONCERN !!! ??? Really?? A big fat Fuck You. I think at this point my blood pressure rose, I got heated and my neck started to pound. I cried out of frustration and sadness for my niece and nephew. I thought, what if I adopt them ? I thought about bringing them with me to AZ? Ex husband would fight me for them though. I called friends for advice. I asked middle sister for guidance. Everyone told me to report her to child protection services. But I couldn't because of the fear they would take the kids to a foster home. At that time I couldn't take them to my place. It was small and would not meet criteria for 2 extra kids. Nobody could take them if we needed. I prayed about it.

I had my finger in the phone ready to call CPS, but I couldn't do it. My mom begged me not to she begged me to continue to help with the kids until Rain got home. She told me we needed to help her, she was not ok. I didnt call them. I couldn't. I love those kids. I couldn't put them through that.

I texted Rain in one final attempt. I told her she needed to pick up her kids from school and if she did not then I was going to report her. No answer.

Turns out I didnt have to. Daughter spoke to a counselor at school and the school reported it. When Eli went to pick up the kids they did not release them to him, CPS was there. They called me shortly after and asked me what was going on. I explained to them. They called ex husband but since he couldn't take them at the time due to court restrictions they asked his parents to take them. His parents home did not meet criteria and they were taken to a foster care for the night.

I cannot begin to tell you how much I cried that night. I cried so hard. I was so mad. I was infuriated. How can she do this to them ? Did I fail them ? They must have been so scared. I had my new baby in my arms, breastfeeding and crying for those kids when I should have been enjoying every second with Olivia. I went home that night. I couldn't stay at my moms anymore.

Day 7: I wake up in a fog, still upset from the night before. I check my phone and I had a missed call from middle sister. I called her back and she tells me Rain was able to get her kids back last night from CPS and she is at home. How did that happen I ask ? Middle sister said that she thought I called CPS last night and told them it was all a misunderstanding and I was just upset about babysitting for a few hours.

What? I didn't call ...

Someone impersonated me. She had someone call pretending it was me ... that really scared me.

I called my mom and she said yes, Rain has the kids. CPS apparently asked my mom if this was true that Rain had been gone only for a few hours and my mom totally covered for her.

My mom reason behind it was because she doesn't want the kids to go to a foster home.

I didnt speak to my mom for 2 months after that call.

A couple days after that I received a text from Rain and she basically told me off and told me that she can't believe I reported her. I told to her that I did not make the call...but I should have. We completely blocked each other from everything. She told everyone we know, friends and relatives that I reported her. That's fine, I'll take it.

Get this though, this girl can't get it together to save her life. She has now lost custody of the kids to ex husband. After so much drama, her showing up late for drop offs and pick ups, showing up drunk, starting fights with new wife, picking kids up late from school ... ex husband documented everything and he got a video of her drunk at pick up. The kids now live with him in a house and are doing so well. They're so happy. They chose to live with dad. Oh and the things the kids told the judge, so sad. Apparently she doesn't even cook for them. She's allowed visitation every other weekend. She still lives with my mom, has NO job, no goals... she just parties and hangs out with that douch.

My mom was out of town when this court meeting happened and Rain lost the kids, so nobody actually heard why she lost them. Apparently she told mom that it was because of me, that the judge said MY NAME and that I wrote a letter or some bullshit. And my mom question me about it. First of all, so not true, they cant just use my name and say things without me being there, seriously. I wonder about my mom sometimes.

Ex husband allows me to talk to the kids whenever I want. He was the only person who thanked me for keeping his kids safe and loved. And yes he did ask me for help in taking the kids from my sister, but I said no. I decided to stay out of that.

That is something that I will never ever forgive my sister for. What she put me though, my family... and what she put her kids through. I'm not a perfect mom, not at all, but you just dont do that. And although I see her around at gatherings or holidays, we dont speak. She's not there, I completely ignore her. I go about my time with the family. I have a very strong set boundary with her and she knows it.

She knows that I didnt report her but she needs someone to blame. She cant accept her fault, but she knows. We know.

#documentary #sisters #sister #familyiseverything #familyblog #family #momlifebestlife #momlifebelike #momlifeuncensored #momlifeisthebestlife #mombod #mombloglove #momblog #momblr #momblogger #parentblr #parentingblog #parenthood #parenting #shittypeople #life #my life #custody #kids #divorce

[rotten-littlegirl-blog]

10 Wooden Beard Comb Tips You Can Use at Home

When you are irritating to ensure your tresses you will locate many kinds of products not far-off away off from the order of your accrual Wooden Beard Comb. They dispute adeptly but they can be altogether costly especially if you use them very roughly speaking a regular using http://hairtrimmerli.com/wooden-beard-comb/. There are ways to profit the same hair setting and hair lump by making products at in flames. They are less costly and many items you may already have in your dwelling. Here are ten hair ensue tips to relief you toting going on a long and healthy mane.

1. First of the 10 hair gather together tips is to drink lots of water although it may be obvious, drinking large quantity of water and eating lots of raw fruits and vegetables will market hair amassed. These natural foods have the valuable vitamins and minerals you compulsion. To cumulative longer and thicker locks.

2. You can however colleague in crime your diet considering vitamin supplements. Good hair vitamins such as Vitamin B, C, and F as ably as zinc, iron and copper are all important for growing longer tresses.

3. You should also consume sufficient of lean proteins to serve happening grow longer and thicker Wooden Beard Comb.

4. One of the best hair amassed tips is a formulation of celery leaves and lemon. Boil 1 cup of celery leaves benefit the stems, strain them and accretion the juice of 1 lemon. This is a satisfying rinse to use after you have washed your hair, on the other hand of buying those expensive conditioners. It leaves your hair silky and luxurious.

5. Using lavender oil upon your hair has been shown to boost bump, lead it has a pretty perfume. Just smooth the oil into your scalp once than a week, child support it upon for 30 minutes in addition to wash it off using shampoo.

6. Another one of the hair addition tips you can use is to have your hair trimmed at least subsequent to a month. Trimming the ends can prevent damage ended to the tips and admit away split ends.

7. When brushing your hair, use a wooden brush and never brush it following wet. You painful feeling to make certain you use a wide tooth comb as it does not tear at your locks.

8. One of the most on the go hair layer tips is to use Aloe Vera. Massage Aloe Vera into your scalp especially where you locate you have hair loss will have enough maintenance your hair a boost of Wooden Beard Comb. Leave it upon for an hour and afterward rinse gone hot water; this is incredible for growing long tresses.

9. You can rinse your hair as soon as apple cider vinegar and sage tea to in further taking place quantity longer tresses. You can along with swelling rosemary leaves in water and subsequently use this infused water-bearing in mind that you wash your hair all day.

10. One of the best hair bump tips is to get your hands on a natural flaming made product called Mira hair oil, which has a pull of oils and herbs that make growing longer tresses attainable. Apply it at night and smear it gently into your scalp and with wash it off in the daylight. You will judge your hair will mount occurring much faster.

These are the 10 best hair amassing tips you can use to join up a long, healthy mane. Use Wooden Beard Comb consistently and you will have longer and thicker tresses in no become archaic.

#Wooden Beard Comb

[type-a-nomad]

First Blog Post: Cape Town Day 1

Sunday Feb 11 2018

Growing Pains

I landed in Cape Town at 7:30am local time (CTT= Cape Town Time/ CT= Cape Town).  Because I slept from SFO to Heathrow, I got little to no sleep from Heathrow to Cape Town, resulting in my accidental all-nighter from 11:30pm CTT.  Everything is sort of hazy and out of whack.  It seems like everything that could have gone slightly wrong, has gone slightly wrong.  Or, at least, very far from the expected result.  The first of these instances was in the CT airport.  There was a driver that was supposed to meet me at 8am CTT and by 8:20am I was starting to feel quite nervous, as it is easy to direct my unease about the general situation of moving continents towards a short-term, tangible problem like my transportation.  By this time, I am sweating from nerves and general physical exhaustion from hauling my duffle bag around looking for the guy who is supposed to have a sign directing me to him.  Finally, I call the emergency number of the program I’m going through and they tell me to go to the information desk and wait for him to meet me there.  So I do.   Another 20 minutes later, all is well and my driver, Kyle, is blasting Lil’ Jon while speeding down the highway past the poorest parts of CT.  There are thousands of houses made out of scrap metal.  I saw roofs held onto structures by the weight of fractured concrete, wooden planks and sheets of tin propped up against each other, some structures were even two stories high.  Then we were zooming through Cape Town, the first thing I saw was the prison, which was almost as depressing as the slums.  But once we cleared the poorer outskirts, the water was visible and it was stunning.  It was like the surface was covered in gold glitter it was sparkling so much.  We stopped in front of a house in a rundown neighborhood, directly facing a large, white, and mostly windowless primary school.  Kyle grabs my duffle bag out of the car (bless him) and dispassionately drops me and it at the front door of a dusty, brick-red house.  I ring the doorbell as Kyle drives off.  Nobody answers.  After a minute, I ring again.  Still, nobody answers.  I reach past the metal grate blocking the wooden door and knock.  I am starting to panic (again) and am knocking and ringing, feeling stranded and mildly disgusted at the dead, partially-squished rat I had to walk over to get to the door.  10 minutes pass.  I am still frantically knocking.  Then, I hear something. A short girl answers the door.  She’s maybe 24, with a sleeve of tattoos- one of which is a large elephant with a very South African looking tree next to it.  I introduce myself and she says her name is Cassie and she essentially runs the hostel.  She takes me upstairs and shows me my room with three bunkbeds lining the walls, and a file-cabinet-like dresser against the fourth.  The floor is covered in clothes and there is a girl sleeping in her underwear surrounded by around 5 half-empty fanta bottles and two sticky glasses with flat soda in them.  I say hello and she makes no noise, clearly a bit irritated her sleep has been interrupted.  Cassie tells me to meet her downstairs in a few minutes when I settle in.  I sit down on the bed and basically curl up in a ball of confusion, anxiety, and relief.   When I have taken some deep breaths, reapply deodorant, and listed things I am grateful for and things I want to learn, I hop down the dirty stairs in the dim  house and find Cassie.  She gives me a brief tour of the house and shows me how I have to shower in a bucket and then dump the bucket in a larger bucket.  Then, when you want to take a number 2 you have to walk to the big bucket, fill up a small bucket with water, then find a way to dump the water in the small bucket into the toilet tank so you can flush.  This is way harder than it sounds and it an extremely awkward process that is almost as stressful as it is embarrassing for me because if you grab the bucket everyone knows you aren't just going number 1.  Most of my stress here hinges on the idea of making myself more embarrassed than I already am by fûcking up this process in one way (technically this whole extravaganza is called a grey-water system). After the somewhat unnerving house tour, I am starting to realize how incredibly foreign all of this is.  Moving to and living in Florence was traveling to another country, Cape Town is another planet.  Everything feels slightly uneasy when you walk down the streets.  I felt very watched and distrustful of anyone around me because I had been warned so thoroughly about the impressive theft that was pulled off, even in broad daylight. Then, the first genuinely positive interaction of my day happens.  Three girls, Jonna (Sweden), Ella (Sweden), and Natália (Brazil) say that they're gong to the beach and if I don’t have any plans I should come with them to get lunch and then go to the beach.  The tight little ball in my chest loosens. We all go to the grocery store and upon our return, Cassie comes up to me and tells me that tomorrow I am moving to a HomeStay.  My reaction is:  “WHAAAT??!?!?!?!??!?!????”.  I was NOT supposed to be at a Home-Stay and was clearly told by the volunteer service that I would be based at the volunteer hostel.  I was completely caught off-guard and this was the LAST mix-up I would expect to happen.  I make her double-check that it’s the right person she’s talking about and she confirms that yes, in fact my program is in an area much closer to the poorer neighborhoods, because those are the kids we are serving.  Thus, I need to live close to them and that means living with a family.  WHAT THE FÜCK?  I regain my zen and try to just be a “go with the flow” kind of person, but I feel like a rock being unwillingly dragged down a river by the force of the water.  After many minutes of mindful breathing and sunscreen application, we are in the uber to the beach.   The beach is gorgeous.  The South African Sun was incredibly intense.  Even when applying several layers of thick sunscreen and sitting entirely in the shade, my skin was very offended I had decided to move to this continent.  That being said, there were white fluffy sand, colored umbrellas, beautiful and tan, beachy South Africans everywhere, so I told my skin to shut up.  My particular favorite of all my people-watching specimen was a 50-something woman in a hot pink bikini who was so freckled she passed it off as a deep tan.  She had a lower back tattoo that said “Brooklyn Forever” in swirly writing, some Chinese characters on her back, a ring of thorns around her bicep, and a kiss mark on her lower right hip.  Her small white lap dog came over and chilled on my towel while she drank some alcoholic beverage and told her four-year-old daughter to move out of her tanning chair because “I’m an ádult” (only self-important people say adult as aaaaadult).  She also told her friend to “stay on the hunt”, when a 20 year old lifeguard passed and they both obviously checked him out, even though they were both wearing wedding rings and surrounded by their own children.  From eavesdropping on their conversations I learned her name was Lisa, which fits all too well.   I hang out with my new friends and learn lots of cool information.  For example, Natalia has breast implants her boyfriend paid for as a present to her 5 months ago and is very happy to talk about them as a point of braggadocio (as it turns out, two americans in this volunteer hostel also have breast implants”.  Ella has four tattoos, one of which is very large on her forearm that says “There is no progress without struggle”.  She says she almost ran to the tattoo parlor on her 18th birthday to get it— but now she thinks it’s cliche.  Jonna is amazed at my ability to recite facts I learned from various podcasts I listened during my unintentional all-nighter to Cape Town.  For example, your likelihood of getting cancer increases by 40% if you average less than 7 hours of sleep per night over your lifetime.  Cassie and her sister Ashley end up joining us.  By that time I was entirely exhausted.  My face was telling me it was time to get out of the sun even though I was in the shade, with a hat and sunscreen on.  And, again, I was entirely exhausted so interaction with new people was a strain I was really not feeling.   Finally, we call and uber and go back to the hostel. I cannot get the idea of the host family off of my mind as I am moving there tomorrow and have exactly no information on who they are, where they live, what the conditions will be, how many people live there, etc.. I decide the best way to ease my anxiety is to get something done.  So, I go to the drug store down the street, Click-It.  I buy around 10 items and when I’m checking out, the cashier does something very odd.  He looks at me, smiles, and says “when you leave the alarm by the door might go off, just keep walking”.  I kind of smile and then process what he’s really said, then process the fact that him and his female co-worker at the other register just smiled at each other clearly in regards to what he has just said.  “Why” I ask.  “Because I am not going to scan all the items they want me to scan.  Don’t worry about it.  Just keep walking”.  At this point I’m like WHAT THE FÜCK IS GOING ON PART 2.  Is he saying he is giving me some of my items for free? What on earth is happening.  Well, then I go to pay with my Charles Schwab card that is supposed to be perfect and seamless to use and it’s DECLINED.  So I pay with Wells Fargo and the world starts turning again.  Right after I pick up my bag he reminds me “dont forget: DO NOT stop walking”. And Im like “Dude I just wanted my leave-in conditioner, I don’t need Mission-Impossible”  But, whatever, I’m only 95% sure I can understand the gist of what he is saying because I am still having trouble understanding South African English accents. I scurry home, through the accusatorially beeping metal detector with my newly aquired, and possibly partially stolen goods and take my brief, bucket shower.  Now, I am hiding in my top bunk, trying to collect myself and hide from human interaction because honestly, I’m getting close to being at wits-end.  I am too overwhelmed to edit this so #nofilter yay I completed my first blog post.  Happy First Day In South Africa, Bitches.

xoxo Q

[rothjuje]

Sunday Seven

1. So. I don't cut kids' hair before the age of 3. But. Elliot has sensory issues and would scream whenever I tried to use a hair tie or gel or brush. And it was completely covering his eyes. So. Chop chop. He started tantruming at the salon and the hairdresser said there was no way she could trim it with scissors with him flailing everywhere. I told her I really wanted to keep the length but I guess she did what was easiest because now he has a military haircut. J and I are kind of devastated. And J is super annoyed I didn't just trim it myself. Yeah, because I totally want to put scissors next to a flailing 2 year old's eyes. Sigh. Disappointing that his beautiful hair is gone but at least the kid can see now.

2. Normally I take the big kids out during the baby's nap so J can work on his thesis. But yesterday, I needed a break. I really, really needed one. So I had J take the kids out. They were out for 3 hours. I did paperwork and cleaned but it was pretty glorious to do those things in uninterrupted silence. I still feel pretty rejuvenated. Poor J is still stressed out though haha.

3. Daylight savings is evil. Today has been so long. So. Long.

4. I had more to say but I remember zero of it. It's 8:10 pm and I'm falling asleep on the couch. I'd go to bed if J's office wasn't in our room now. Our 3 bedroom house is consistently too small.

5. Speaking of. J and I might buy a house in January. If not then we will for sure in February or March. I am obsessed. Obsessed with Zillow and Pinterest and paint colors and looking at chicken coops and nice furniture (we only bought IKEA so we could just donate it when we moved instead of schlepping it). I don't get why people don't talk more about buying a home. It is so fucking exciting to me. More exciting than baby making. I will own a home. I can do whatever I want with it. I can have chickens. I will paint their coop red. I will have brightly colored walls and furniture and my house will be happy. Maybe I just want to express myself. Renting just feels like living in someone else's house. I hate carpet. I hate brown. I hate beige. And it's fucking everywhere. Depressing.

6. Baby making. I've been looking into it since I'm on birth control and need a plan for when we start trying (several months from now, probably after we move, calm down). It seems pretty complicated. Do I stay on bc to control my PCOS? Do I get off to rid my body of hormones? Will I need progesterone so I don't miscarry again? Do I want the same dose of letrozole as last time? I conceived twins (and lost one). I don't want twins (high risk) but I don't want to get a bad egg and miscarry since PCOS makes my eggs suck. We have 3 filled prescriptions of a dose higher than what we needed to conceive. Obviously I'm not taking a higher dose since we got twins last time. This stuff is so stressful I kind of want to go back to my RE but there's no logical reason to. We're not going to have a litter of babies from letrozole, especially given the state of J's sperm. I'm just scared because trying to conceive with science is scary.

7. Weekends are such a nice break from foster care. Le sigh.

[krat395]

How To Make A Lizard, Ghost, and Robot Laugh (Chapter 3)

Chapter 3 of this story. In Chapter 2, it was revealed that Frisk and Chara made plans to tickle the living daylights out of MK and what started out as playful teasing tickles ultimately resulted in the two girls tying him up and getting him ready for a fun-filled "playful" tickle torture. 8D Undertale(c) Toby Fox.

**********************************************

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

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HOW TO MAKE A LIZARD, GHOST, AND ROBOT LAUGH 

Chapter 3: A Lizard’s Tickle Torture

 After about ten minutes of continuous affection, Frisk and Chara officially began their large ticklish assault on MK.

 Chara: Alright. 3… 2… 1…

MK: (OH NO!!)

Frisk and Chara: TICKLE ATTACK!!

 In a matter of seconds, Frisk skittered her fingers all along MK’s torso and Chara skittered her fingers all along his soles. What followed was several squeaks and hysterical laughter from the young lizard boy.

 MK: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!! AHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAAAHA!!!!!! *squeak* NOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!!!!! AHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAA!!!!!! DOHOHOHOHOHOHHON’T TIHIHHIIHIHIICKLE MY FEEHEEHEEHEET!!!!!! *squeak* BWAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! *squeak* FWAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!! STAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAP!!!!!! *squeak*

Chara: No can do MK! Your cute feet have gone untickled long enough!

MK: YOOHOOHOOU THIHIHIHIHIHIHINK MY FEEHEEHEEHEET AHAHAHHAHAHAHAARE CUHUHUHUHUTE CHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHARA?!!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHA!!!!!!

Chara: Of course I do MK! They’re some of your greatest assets!

MK: *confused* SEHEHEHEHEHEHERIIHIHIHIHIOUSLY?!!!!!! AAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!!!!!!

Frisk: Heck yeah! You may not know it MK, but there are several students at school who are jealous of you and Asriel! Ourselves included!

MK: JEHEHEEHHEHEHHEALOUS?!!!!!! WHAHAHAHAHAHTEHEHEHEHEVER DO YOOHOOOHOOU MEEHEEHEEHEEAN?!!!!!!

Chara: We’ll tell you later Lizzy Boy!

Frisk: Heck yeah we will! In the meantime, we’re just gonna keep tickling you to pieces!

MK: (Why the heck are people jealous of me?!) BUHUHUHUT I WAHAHAHAHAHAHANNA KNOHOHOHOHOOOHOOHOHOW!!!!!! PLEEHEEHEEHEEHEEASE TEHEHEHEHEHELL MEEHEEHEEHEE!!!!!! HAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA!!!!!!

Frisk: Calm down MK, you’ll find out soon enough! *both Frisk and Chara tickle MK faster and harder*

MK: NAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!! *squeak* MEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHOHOHOHOHOAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

 MK was very surprised to hear that there are students at school who are jealous of him and Asriel, and he is very curious as to why. One of the reasons why students are jealous of MK and Asriel is because the two boys never have to wear shoes. MK, Asriel, and other barefooted monsters are able to perform activities such as sports and hiking without any footwear. They are also able to walk on scorching hot surfaces, sub-zero temperature snow, gravel roads, etc. with hardly any damage to their feet. Many students wish they could walk around barefoot like MK and Asriel, but they can’t because their feet just aren’t durable like theirs are and they all need their shoes to protect their feet from damage. The students also think that MK and Asriel’s feet are more appealing to look at than their own feet and some have described the boys’ feet as “awesome looking” in addition to “cute.” And that’s just one of the reasons why students are jealous of MK and Asriel. There are many more reasons as to why they’re jealous; such as Asriel having fur (due to it being incredibly soft and providing him warmth during winter) and MK having a tail (A lot of human students wish they had a tail like MK’s).  

 About five minutes later, Frisk and Chara stopped to give MK a breather. And MK’s going to need it too. He’s still has A LOT of tickling to go through today!

 MK: *breathing heavily* Come on guys. Just tell me why students are jealous of me! I really wanna know!

Chara: MK, you need to learn how to wait! Our friend Patty could give some excellent pointers in that regard!

MK: Come on, this is torture not knowing!

Frisk: You’ll find out soon enough MK. Right now we want you to rest before we tickle you again. We’re not anywhere close to being done yet you precious cinnamon roll. *pinches MK’s left cheek*

MK: *blushing*

Chara: Awww, look at him blush. Isn’t he cute Frisk?

Frisk: He sure is Chara. *talking in a silly voice and teasing MK with light tickles to his belly* Ain’t that right Mr. Tickly Lizzy? *starts making funny faces and making goofy sounds*

MK: *laughing at both tickles and Frisk acting silly* Hahahahahahahahahahaha! Frihihihihisk! Hahahahahaahahaa!

 As Frisk playfully teased MK, Chara walked out of the room to grab a few things before she and Frisk resume their ticklish assault on MK. A few minutes later, Chara returned with a large bag of numerous tickling utensils including the rainbow feather she used to tickle her mother last Saturday and Frisk’s stick (the same stick she used in the Underground).

 Chara: Check out what we’ve got in store for you MK!

 Chara showed MK the assortment of tickling utensils and as she did so, she briefly tickled MK’s nose with her rainbow feather to tease him.

 MK: Hahahahhahahahahahaha!! Nohhohohohohoho!! *sneezes*

Chara: Aww, did the lizard boy just sneeze?

Frisk: Chara, come on. That wasn’t necessary. *scratches MK’s nose for him to get rid of the tickly feeling* (Aww, I was hoping I would hear a kitten sneeze.)

Chara: Sorry Frisk.

MK: *frightened* Are you guys insane?! I’ll lose my mind if you use those things!

Frisk: Thanks for telling us Mr. Cutie.

MK: When I get out of here, I’m gonna get the two of you back so bad!

Chara: You can try MK, but Frisk and I WILL be able to stop you! Now do us a favor and just relax for us.

MK: How the hell can I relax when I know you’re going to tickle me even more?! And with utensils no less!

Frisk: Just take a deep breath MK, and let Chara and I work our magic.

MK: Magic, what magic?

Frisk: This magic. *does something to MK*

MK: *moan* Oh my god, Frisk that feels so wonderful! Thank you! Thank you!

Chara: *cooing* Shhhhhh. *places her index finger over MK’s mouth* No talking MK. Relax. *also does something to MK*

MK: *moan of pure happiness* Whatever you say you lovely angels. *so relaxed that he doesn’t realize what he just said* (Wait, what did I just say?!)

 Right now, MK is the most relaxed he’s ever been. The reason for this is because… Frisk is giving him an amazing foot rub and Chara is lovingly caressing his upper body. MK has been very annoyed with the girls (at least it appeared that way to them) and they thought that showing him some more affection would help calm him down. Frisk and Chara have been giving each other foot rubs during the past month and a half and with all the practice they’ve had, both of them are now very efficient when it comes to giving them. They have yet to master how to rub Asriel’s feet however because every time they try giving him a foot rub, they just wind up tickling him. MK absolutely loves the attention Frisk is giving to his feet and Frisk and Chara are planning to treat him to an even better foot rub later. Right now, Frisk is only giving MK a taste of what to expect later because they are by no means finished tickling him yet.

 Four minutes later, Frisk started coating both of MK’s yellow three-toed feet with a strange substance.

 MK: *startled* Aah! Aaahhhh! Aaaaahhhh!  

Chara: What’s the matter Lizzy Boy?

MK: Something cold just touched my feet! Frisk, what’s happening?!

Frisk: *continues applying the strange substance* No need to worry MK. I’m just applying some MTT-brand massage oil to your feet to make the foot rub feel even better! *with an evil grin* (The oil’s going to do something else too!)

MK: Is it supposed to be that cold?!

Chara: At first, yes. But that’s nothing compared to what it’s going to do in a matter of seconds.

MK: Wait, what do you mean by that?

 A few seconds later, MK’s feet started tingling like crazy. The tingling feelings were very strong and as a result, they made MK incredibly nervous. MK has never had such strong tingling feelings in his feet before. So this is a brand new feeling to him.

 MK: *very nervous* Aaahh! Aaahhhh! My feeeeeet! They’re tingling like crazy! Aaaaahhh! Why are they doing that?! Aaaaahhhhh!

Frisk: MK, calm down! That just means the oil’s taking effect. That tingling feeling will wear off in a minute or so.  

MK: Gah! I hope you’re right! Oooohhh! Gaaaahhhh! This feels so weird!

 About one minute later, the tingling feelings disappeared and MK’s feet were ready to be rubbed again.

 MK: Hey Frisk, my feet aren’t tingling anymore. Does that mean…

Frisk: Yes MK, I can resume the foot rub. *starts rubbing MK’s feet again*

MK: *a huge moan of pure happiness* Oh my goodness, that does feel better! Now I understand why you wanted to put that stuff on my feet Frisk.

Frisk: I told you MK. *evil grin* (Little do you know, that’s not the only reason I applied the oil.)

 Now that MK’s feet are coated with MTT-brand massage oil (It’s soothing for robots and ghosts as well as monsters and humans), Frisk and Chara can start their large ticklish assault on MK. MK believes that the only reason Frisk applied the oil was to make the foot rub more relaxing for him. He has absolutely no idea that the primary reason Frisk applied the oil was to make his already super ticklish feet even more ticklish. :D And the effects of the MTT-brand massage oil last for at least one hour. :)

 After one minute of rubbing MK’s oil-covered feet, Frisk signaled over to Chara to wrap things up. Chara then stopped caressing MK’s upper body so she could position herself next to the young boy’s feet where Frisk currently is. Chara thought that MK was going to get all nervous once she stopped showing affection to his torso, but he was so relaxed from the foot rub that he didn’t even turn his head. As soon as Chara got all situated, she grabbed two hairbrushes and handed one of them to Frisk.

 Chara: Ready Frisk?

Frisk: You know it Chara. *stops rubbing MK’s feet*

 A few seconds later, Frisk and Chara rapidly scrubbed MK’s soles with the hairbrushes. Frisk scrubbed his right foot and Chara scrubbed his left foot and the very moment those hairbrushes touched his soles, MK unleashed lots and lots of extremely hysterical and maniacal laughter. This time however, it was different. Due to the effects of the massage oil, MK was laughing at a much louder volume than normal. And he was laughing more hysterically and maniacally than normal.

 MK: BWAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! NOHOHOHOHOHOHHOOHOHOOHOHO!!!!!!!!! GUYS!!!!!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! GOHOHOHOHOHHOOHOHO BAHAHAHAAHACK TO RUHUHUHUHUBBING MY FEEHEEEHEEHEEHEET!!!!!!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!!!!! I LIHIHIHIHIKED THAHHAHAHAHAAT!!!!!!!!! GAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!!!!! (What the hell?! Why are my feet more ticklish all of a sudden?!)

 MK’s already super ticklish feet are now MORE TICKLISH! MK is very confused as to why his feet are more ticklish and he’s way too busy laughing his head off to figure out why. All he knows is that he can feel EVERY SINGLE BRISTLE of the hairbrushes scrubbing rapidly against his suddenly more sensitive soles. And DEAR GOD they tickle so much! Poor kid can’t stop laughing to save his own life! Just as Frisk and Chara intended.

 Chara: We know you did MK! And we might give you another one later if you if you’re REALLY GOOD!

Frisk: Yeah MK! We made plans to tickle you today, and that is what we intend to do!

Chara: Heck yeah! We’re gonna tickle you until you can’t feel a thing Lizzy Boy!

 Frisk and Chara then started scrubbing much faster with the hairbrushes.

 MK: NOHOHOHHOHOOHOOHOOHHOOOHOOHOHO!!!!!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAIHIHIHIHIHIHIHWHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHBABABAKAKAKAKA HOHOOHHOOOHOEEHEEHEEHEEEHEEHEEGAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

Chara: *teasing MK* Yehehehehes! *evil laugh*

MK: GAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!!!!!!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!!!!!!!!! *lizard scream*

Frisk and Chara: *both of them stop tickling MK*

Chara: MK, what the hell was that?!

MK: *breathing heavily and is a giggling mess despite not being tickled at the moment* I’m nahahahahahat suhuhuhuhuhure!! Heeheeheeheeheehee!!

Frisk: Well; whatever is was, it sounded really unusual. I mean, I’ve tickled you more times than I can imagine and I’ve never heard you make a sound like that.

 For the first time ever, MK has let out a high-pitched “lizard scream” while being tickled. It caught Frisk and Chara completely by surprise that it made them stop tickling his feet upon hearing it. Frisk has tickled MK’s feet numerous times before and that never happened and the only thing the she and Chara are wondering now is what they did differently to make the young lizard boy scream the way he did.

 MK: *giggles have stopped* I know! But guys, I have to ask you something. Why are feet more ticklish all of a sudden?!

 Upon hearing what MK just asked her and Chara, Frisk realized what might possibly be the cause of MK’s “lizard scream”.

 Frisk: Wait a second; I think I might know what’s going here. *scrubs MK’s right foot*

MK: PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHHAAHAAHAHAHAA!!!!!!!!! *lizard scream* AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAHA!!!!!!!!! *lizard scream* OHOHOHHOHOOOHOOHOHOHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! *lizard scream*

 Frisk figured it out. MK’s letting out several “lizard screams” due to the effects of the massage oil. This is similar to Asriel bleating every time someone/something tickles him in one of his worst spots (which he has several of). Except unlike MK with his “lizard screams”, no massage oil is necessary to make Asriel bleat.

 Frisk: I was right! It’s because of that oil Chara! Since his feet are more ticklish now, that’s what’s causing him to make those sounds!

Chara: Ah, yes! That makes much more sense now!

MK: AHAHAHAHAAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!!!!! *lizard scream* WHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAT?!!!!!!!!! *lizard scream* YOOHOOHOOHOOOHOOU MAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHADE MY FEEEEHEEEHEEEHEEHEEHEET MOHOHOOHOHOHHORE TIHIIHIHIHHIHIHIHHICKLISH?!!!!!!!!! *lizard scream*

Chara: Why yes, we did Lizzy Boy! Now do us a favor… AND LAUGH!!! *scrubs MK’s left foot*

MK: AHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!!!!! *lizard scream* EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!!!!! FWAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHEEHEEHEEHEEHOHOHOHOHOAHAHAAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! *lizard scream* NAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAA!!!!!!!!!! YOOHOOHOOHOOHOOHOOU JEHEHHEHEHHEHEHEEHEHEERKS!!!!!!!!! *lizard scream*

Frisk: *flirting* Oh how we love your sweet, adorable laughter MK!

Chara: *cooing* We just can’t get enough it! Hahahahaha!

 MK doesn’t know what to think right now. One moment the girls were being angels to him and then the next moment, they’re tickle torturing him. He enjoys being tickled but tickle torture is just too much for him and the two girls have absolutely no intentions of easing up on him. And now with his feet being rendered more ticklish, he’s doomed.

 Chara: Coochie coochie coo Lizzy Boy!

Frisk: Tickle, tickle, tickle! Tickle, tickle, tickle!

MK: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!!!!!! AAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!! *lizard scream* BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHEEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEBABA KAAKAKKAKAKAKAKATATATATATATATATAHOHOHOHOHHOHHOOHOBWEEHEEHEEHEEHEE HIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHOOHOOHOOHOOHOOHOOOGAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA AWAHAHAHAAHAHAGAGAGABABAHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEFWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!!!!!!!!!! *lizard scream* EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!!!!!! *lizard scream* AHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHIHHIIHHOHOHOHO HOHOOHOHOHHOOHOKAAKKAKAKKAHAHAHAHHAHAHABABABABABABAKAKAKAKAKAKAAKA LALALALALALALAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!!!!!!!!!! *lizard scream*

 For one hour, Frisk and Chara tickled MK in 12 different ways (Five minute intervals with short breaks in between) and there wasn’t a single moment when the two girls weren’t working together to make him unleash laughter that was too pure for this world. Throughout the entire thing, Frisk and Chara tickled MK with many tickling utensils in addition to their fingers and they consistently flirted with him (Frisk, more than Chara) and teased him with extremely goofy tickle talk.

 First, Frisk and Chara scrubbed every inch of his soles with 2 hairbrushes. They alternated between fast and slow motions with them as time went by.

 Second, Frisk and Chara tickled his feet with 4 electric toothbrushes. They paid particular attention to his balls and toes (under his toes especially but also in between them).

 Third, Chara scrubbed his soles with the 2 hairbrushes (She paid particular attention to his balls and under his toes) while Frisk tickled his upper body with 2 toothbrushes (She focused primarily on his belly, bellybutton, ribs and underarms).

 Fourth, Chara tickled his feet with her rainbow feather (She poked his soles and toes with the quill and used the feathery end to tickle his soles and in between his toes) and Frisk used her stick to tickle his upper body (She moved it slowly against his sensitive skin and gently poked him it).

 Fifth, Chara used her rainbow feather to tickle his upper body (She wiggled the feathery end of the feather to primarily tickle his belly, bellybutton, underarms, and neck and poked him with the quill every now and then) and Frisk tickled his feet with her stick (She moved it slowly all over his soles and in between his toes and poked his soles and toes with it).

 Sixth, Chara tickled his feet with 2 combs (She focused primarily on his balls and the under his toes again) and Frisk used Chara’s rainbow feather to tickle his torso (She did thing Chara did moments ago, but in a much flirtier manner).

 Seventh, Frisk tickled MK’s soles with 2 toothbrushes while Chara sawed in between his toes with the 2 combs.

 Eighth, Frisk and Chara blew several raspberries all over his the front side of his torso. Frisk primarily blew raspberries on his belly and Chara primarily blew raspberries on his chest.

 Ninth, Frisk sat on MK and scribbled her fingers all along his neck, collarbones, and ribs and tickled his underarms and sides with her feet (Frisk still has her socks on) and Chara tickled in between his toes with pipe cleaners (They feel like super fuzzy caterpillars).

 Tenth, Chara leaned over MK and repeatedly squeezed his knees with her index fingers and thumbs and used her feet to tickle his underarms and sides (Chara also still has her socks on) and Frisk tickled his feet Chara’s rainbow feather (Like Chara, she poked his soles and toes with the quill and tickled his soles and in between his toes with the feathery end).

 Eleventh, Frisk tickled MK’s torso with 2 feather dusters (She focused primarily on his belly, ribs, and sides) and Chara tickled his feet with Frisk’s stick (Like Frisk, she moved it slowly all over his soles and in between his toes and poked his soles and toes with it.)  

 And twelfth, Frisk scribbled her fingers all over every ticklish inch his feet (She primarily focused on his balls and under his toes like Chara did multiple times) and Chara scribbled her fingers all over his torso (She focused primarily on his sides, ribs, and chest) while blowing several raspberries on belly and over his naval).

 Frisk: Awwwww! Who cutie-patootie lizzy boo boo boy! You are MK! You are!

Chara: Tee hee hee! Ha ha ha! Ba ba ba ba hee hee hee!

MK: GAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAA!!!!!!!!!! *lizard scream* EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!!!!!! *lizard scream* FWAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHIHIHIHIHIHIHIUHUHUHUHUHUHUHU HOHOHOOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!! *lizard scream* STAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAP TEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEASING MEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEE!!!!!!!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!!!!!! FWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!!!!!!!!! *lizard scream* MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!

 For one hour, MK was in sea of silly, precious, frantic, hysterical, and maniacal laughter. His face was soaked with tears due to laughing so hard, his entire body was tingling like never before (especially his feet), his tail was shaking very frantically despite having it tied to his legs, and his feet and torso were as red as they could be with blush. He laughed, screamed, shrieked, squealed, squeaked, and everything in between throughout the entire thing and having his feet covered with massage oil before it all started only made everything more intense for him. And the two girls REALLY did a number on his feet!

 When it all started, MK immediately began begging the girls to stop tickling him and he continued begging them to stop as time went by. Frisk and Chara of course ignored his constant pleads for mercy and after about twenty minutes of tickle torture, MK actually stopped begging them for mercy completely. Frisk knows the reason why MK gave up trying to convince her and Chara to stop tickling him, but Chara doesn’t know why. All she wanted to do the entire time was make him laugh, and that’s exactly what she and Frisk did. And by the time Frisk and Chara nearly finished the tickle torture; someone showed up in the house unexpectedly and startled the two girls along with MK.

 ??????: Uh… hi kids.

TO BE CONTINUED...

#undertale tickle #undertale tickling

[chfaiq5k-blog]

10 Preventable Social Marketing Mistakes

Social media has made a puzzling impact harshly the pretension businesses look their products and services. Did you think Facebook and Twitter wouldn’t last gone than they first came out? Many of us did but boy were we wrong! Social media has taken most of the world by storm and if you own a issue you totally artifice to incorporate social media publicity in to your have an effect on plans.

Social media sites such as Facebook, Twitter, blogs and LinkedIn have grown faster than radio or television! Social media has made such a earsplitting impact going as regards for work up on peak of 70% of companies now have a Facebook page.

Social media does manage to pay for become old and take goings-on and must be finished effectively. Below is a list of ten social media mistakes and what you can take effect to prevent them from uphill.

1. Not Being Consistent – You cannot appendix on your Facebook page or tweet here and there. You have to glamor going on a social media plot and schedule your period spent around your social sites.

What You can Do: Make going on a daily and weekly social media schedule and fix to it. Plan to spend maybe an hour a hours of daylight full of zip on the order of your social sites. Do not modernize yourself too skinny. Choose a couple of the best sites and find the money for them the grow antique and attention they compulsion to pretense-war their magic. I would counsel Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter.

2. No Interaction – When people comment or reveal upon your pages, you dependence to reach them and thank them. If you obtain not unlimited to people who visit your page, they will just fade away visiting.

What You Can Do: Check your sites at least twice a day to see if anyone has posted or left comments. Take the time to be approving them thoroughly – a rapid thank you will not always suffice! Then you should go visit their site and reciprocate. This will verification save your pages responsive.

3. Not Adding Personality – You throb your social sites to be a fun and affable place to visit but you furthermore dependence to save it professional. Don’t just name a bunch of clone explanation gone than no personality.

What You Can Do: Treat your page as if it were a meeting place for you and your clients. Talk roughly glamorous things, find the maintenance for special deals and contests, save things well-ventilated and add-on. This will make your page conscious gone personality!

4. Not Linking Accounts – If you have several social sites and a blog you should be connecting them all together so people can find them all.

What You Can Do: Put your social site associates upon your main blog or site. Use widgets and/or plug-ins that will divulge your visitors to easily secure to your social pages. Have your posts go out to all your social sites on the other hand of one at a epoch.

5. Not Asking for Likes and Follows – Don’t be alarmed to ask people to Like your page or Follow your account. This can greatly addition your social bustle.

What You Can Do: Put a demand in your email signature, put it upon your business card, put it upon all your office stationary. Post your links wherever doable and study for those follows. You have to incorporate your social media into completely one one of parts of your statement.

6. No Quality Content – You have to pay for people a excuse to lack to visit your social sites. After the entire part of, there are millions of pages therefore you highly have to pay for something of value.

What You Can Do: Post friends to helpful articles, find the keep for tiny tidbits if useful mention, state special sales, pay for coupons and prizes. Contests are every allocation of popular therefore attempt holding a fun neighboring door to contest each month. Give every those people a defense to save coming lessening!

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7. No Call to Action – People are more likely to respond to a sale or assistance if you manage to pay for them determined concise calls to discharge faithfulness.

What You Can Do: A call to take forward can be as straightforward as “Click Here to Subscribe” or “Read the Entire Article”. Use as many as is take over to profit your visitors to gain the desired be nimble. When you message something, you can scrutinize people to retweet or share upon their Facebook page. Offer discounts upon your products in the circulate of calls to conduct yourself gone “Click Here to Get $25.00 Off Your First Order” or “Click Button for Special Offer”. The possibilities are endless and full of zip!

8. Not Writing Effective Profiles – Your profile is the first impression that most people will acquire of you as a repercussion you nonattendance to create it fantastic. Just slapping occurring your make known and hometown is not going to acquire the job finished. A final competently-written profile will in addition to going on construct your credibility.

What You Can Do: Finish your profiles utterly. Add a professional looking photo of yourself. List your qualifications and why people would benefit from your products or services. Do not depart vacant spaces or unfilled opinion. Read your profile from your visitors’ mean toward of view. Would you visit your page from what you see?

9. Not Proofreading – Bad grammar and spelling can create a good page go bad.

What You Can Do: Read your pronounce as you are writing it and subsequently following you are finished admission it with anew. It then helps if you have someone else complete into it as expertly because they might declaration things you have missed. Be sure every your posts, tweets, etc., are written correctly and see professional.

10. Getting Too Personal – We’ve every seen them. The posts and tweets that admittance harshly, I am watching Rambo tonight but it gave me a be ache for that marginal note I am off to bed! Or, went shopping today and bought my baby a subsidiary pair of booties. Posts such as these realize not belong upon issue pages for that marginal note be forgive to not get sticking to of too personal when posting.

This content was originally published here.

[dandelliongirl]

It’s April tomorrow

and spring has sprung!

The season is changing slowly but surely... Too slowly for my current liking though.

Ha - I did manage a March blog post (it’s the 31st today). Overall the entire month of March dragged on for a needlessly long time with nothing too exciting going on so I didn’t particularly feel like blogging. My guy and I have been to two dance rehearsals for my graduation ball in May so far and it has been a lot of fun. I’ve loved being silly and goofing around with him. He did the dances a total of 3 times in high school (his friends’, his own and mine) and mine was only 7-ish years ago so both of us know the steps pretty well from memory. I don’t know if dance rehearsal is as much fun for him as it is for me but I’ve been loving spending time with him. My outfit for the ball is almost finished. My top for the evening needs to be sewn together and the hemline of the skirt cut and finished to be the right length. I just got shoes last week and ordered my graduation ring so everything should be in order.

I did my gig judging the dance competition in February and it was an interesting experience. I liked seeing all the choreographies but the juding process was needlessly complicated with a long form that all of us 3 judges had to fill in for each competing group. In addition we only had from 30 seconds to a couple of minutes between each performance so I felt like I couldn’t really give any actual constructive criticism. Also we had to decide on the winners in less than 10 minutes, which was pretty stressful. In the end we all agreed but it was really difficult and my hand hurt for many days after from writing so much and so fast.

My guy’s friend from Japan visited us for a week at the end of February. The boys spent a lot of time together and I spent time with mum. We went and got facials together, and I celebrated a friend’s birthday making brownies with her. Mum had her second big surgery on the 27th but it went better this time around and dad was on his spring break so he could pick her up and bring her home early.

March was a very busy month at work. The good kind of busy though. The kind that makes me feel important and doesn’t give me time to question being hired to do nothing. We’ve been training faculty coordinators and helping them create timetables for the upcoming academic year. I’ve been in charge of these trainings and I really love it. I love helping people and coming up with solutions to their problems. Whenever the coordinators apologise for the inconvenience of their stupid questions and their constant complaining regarding the new data systems I like to tell them that as long as they have questions and complaints I have a job. Their bitching is paying my mortgage and I know it’s directed at the system not at me, so I really don’t mind. It’s completely understandable and most issues these people have are issues I’ve discovered myself and agree with completely. So all in all I’m really grateful to be in the job I’m in for two more years. I’m still looking forward to summer break though and all the exciting springtime events like Easter break, dance recitals and the big official conferment of degrees. I have felt like everything’s at a standstill so I’m hoping spring will pick up it’s pace.

My friend is currently on her first 3 week trip to Japan. I’m super happy for her but it does make me miss Japan terribly. Last year at this time I was over there enjoying the warmth and the beauty of the cherry blossoms. I’m already planning to go back, hopefully next spring. I’m obsessively updating my friend’s instagram feed to see when she’ll be posting pictures from her trip. I gave her a list (and a reference picture) of some Sanrio products I want her to try and get me from there and I’m really hoping she can find at least some of it.

Ballet is still a struggle. Now that my friend (the one who’s in Japan right now) only goes once a week and I have no other real friends there I have no motivation and literally have to force myself to go. Not that I don’t enjoy ballet itself but it’s frustrating because I feel like we’re not making any progress and we’re stuck repeating the same things over and over. Also we’re still stuck in the stupid regular gym hall with those few crappy portable mirrors and either the wall bars/ladders or portable bars. I want to see what I’m doing, I want friends and I want new challenges. I’m glad we only have two months until summer.

I’ve started working on a bit of a book project. It’s more like a collection of essays regarding various topics that are relevant to me and my life than a book but I’ve wanted to collect my thoughts for a while now and since I’ll be turning 25 in a few weeks I thought it’d be cool to write down a collection of thoughts to celebrate a quarter of a century. I’ve been loving reading and writing now that I don’t have to do it for school/uni. I’ve already planned a somewhat of a structure for it and written down some ideas and topics. Today I’m planning to start with the first essay, which will be about me and who I am as a 25 year old. The project will span my entire 25th year so I’m definitely not trying to finish by my birthday.

My guy has spent this weekend visiting his parents. His dad is working hard on his electoral campaign for the parliament so my guy wanted to go see how it’s going. My guy is going to be working as an election officer on the actual election day.

With my guy being gone I’ve also spent the weekend with my parents. Yesterday we went to the grocery store and visited the cottage for a campfire and roasted sausages. Dad and I went  on a 40-ish minute snowshoe walk and it was a lot of fun. I got to explore parts of the forest I would otherwise never go to because during the summer it’s filled with mosquitoes, snakes and scratchy shrubbery. This was a whole new realm for me and I haven’t been on snowshoes since I was probably like 9 years old or younger. Nature really has a calming effect and I could feel the stress I didn’t even know I was holding onto melt away as I navigated between the branches and fallen trees. My new sleeping cottage is supposed to be finished by Easter and I absolutely can’t wait to get to take in the furniture, start decorating the place and plant flowers. It seems like such a far away future in which it’ll be summer and I’ll be reading books, playing Animal Crossing and taking naps in my new cottage.. It’s been over a year now since the project started and I cannot wait to have it finished...

Dad bought me my 6th Maileg bunny from the flea market this Saturday. His name is Basil and he’s my birthday present. Dad got all 5 of my Mailegs from Sweden whenever he went on his annual fishing trip but it’s been more than ten years since my collection grew. I brought my old clothes that grandmum made my original bunny (the one called Rose whom my little sleeping cottage was named after) and I can’t wait to get them in some fresh outfits.

Today dad and I went for what was probably our last ski trip this season. It was a nice and warm day and we spent almost an hour out on skis but it was really messy from all the pine needles and twigs and the snow was much more like slush with occasional ice fields than snow. In any case I got some fresh air and exercise and that felt nice. I woke up really early today to vacuum the house and put up Easter decorations before going skiing with dad and so today feels really productive. I love weekends like this that feel both relaxing and productive. And I’m proud for getting up early despite daylight savings!

We still have no news on Animal Crossing Switch.. The fandom seems to be holding out hopes for an April direct before Reggie retires as president of Nintendo of America, and because Nintendo doesn’t usually go without a direct before E3, but I’m not holding my breath. The only thing I’m hoping for regarding the new game, is that local multiplayer, visiting dream towns and having at least one person visit you over the internet would be possible without the switch online service bullshit. I’m sure local wireless will be possible. As for the rest I’m not too hopeful.. I’d be fine with having to pay to access 8 people online multiplayer as long as I could keep trading turnips with one person and not pay 40€ a year for it... I also don’t want Animal Crossing to change too drastically. I just want a better New Leaf with more customisation, new items, bigger towns and better villager interactions... I also want to be rewarded for my ACPC grind in some way.. Anyway, in the meantime I’ve been enjoying some Sims 4. For the first time since I was a child I’ve been playing through an actual story. It’s the story of a young adult called Theodore (Theo), who moved away from home to start working as a bartender and gain money to win custody of her teenage sister Journey. She adopted Journey and they lived together in a very crappy starter home for a while, but I just moved them into a two bedroom house in Willow Creek, and renovated Journey’s bedroom into the cute teenager room she deserves. Journey works hard as an A student and a fast food employee. She just got a boyfriend and she’s a hopeless romantic (and loves cats). Theo also got a boyfriend and I think he’s going to be moving in as soon as we get some more money to renovate the house a bit and build Theo a greenhouse. Eventually the girls are also going to adopt a cat for Journey and Theo is going to have a child. I’m thinking I might buy City Living next summer so that Journey and her boyfriend can move out and start their own life in San Myshuno. I’m excited to have a rags-to-riches type story that I’m playing without cheats and with characters I’m invested in. I’ve been so bad at coming up with actual storylines and have stuck with build/buy for years this feels like a whole new game for me.

Wow that was a long bit about Sims there. I’ve been writing for almost an hour now. It’s time to go meal prep and make myself a pasta salad for next week. Then I’ll start my essay collection and then I’ll play some more Sims. My guy isn’t coming back until late this evening so I get some more time off. Happy April! ♥

#personal #diary #March2019

[stephhannes]

it’s november!

which means that october has passed, and now we’re rolling headfirst into the holiday season. thanksgiving used to be my favorite holiday, but after my dad died, it felt weird. the first year after my dad died, back in 2015, i went back home to do Family Thanksgiving and i hated it (although for some reason even though nathan and i weren’t together at this point yet, i actually ended up seeing him on this thanksgiving- it was the first time i’d seen him in 8 months and also the first time since my dad had died so it was all around A Strange Time) the second year, i think i’ve blacked out from my memory because i can’t remember anything about it. but the third year, last year, i was living in new york and actually had a lot of fun, since nathan’s family had come into town and i got to go out in public and be with people and do activities, etc. this year will be my first thanksgiving without both my dad and my fiancé and i’m dreading it.

october was a rollercoaster of a month. i’m pretty sure i slept away the first half of the month. there were a large handful of days where i’d sleep for 22 hours, and the days that i didn’t, i at least was asleep for all daylight hours, only awake between 7pm and 8am. i feel incredibly lonely here in abilene, since i have no friends here anymore so a lot of the time i go days without talking to another human face-to-face. i guess to cope with the whole ‘i dont know anyone here and i dont have anything to do here’ thing, i just sleep a lot. i mean, that and the depression are probably why i slept so much, but whatever. there were a lot of days where i felt so overwhelmed by the concept of having to rebuild my life. even if i manage to move somewhere, get a job and go through the motions of moving on, i know that nothing will ever make me as happy as nathan did. there is literally nothing that could compare to the inexplicable joy i felt every morning i woke up with nathan next to me. when my dad died, i felt this intense sense of loss when i realized that he wouldn’t be around to see me graduate, or see me get married. and now i feel an even greater sense of loss realizing that i don’t even get to marry nathan anymore.

two months ago, i was just generally sad, just always a little weepy. but now, as some time has passed, i’ve starting finding very specific things that make me sad:

-i guess that october is a hot month for engagement/getting married because i’ve seen so many announcements on facebook lately and every time i see someone in a wedding dress i get so overwhelmed with sadness. also, for some reason i still get SO many ads on facebook for engagement rings, and wedding planning and whatever, and like, look mark zuckerberg, i’d love to pick out a venue but i can’t so can you leave me alone?? thanks.

-the other day i opened netflix for the first time since nathan died and i got sad because i saw all of the shows he had started but hadn’t finished watching yet

-i went to a movie and got sad because i realized nathan and i had somehow never gone to a movie together

-on the topic of holidays, the other day i realized that nathan and i will never get to spend a christmas together. he hated holidays to begin with so it’s not necessarily like we would have done anything, but still. the first year that we were together, we were living apart, so we didn’t see each other for christmas that year. the second year we were together, he went on vacation for like three weeks without me during christmas and that was a total disaster. i was so upset because it was my first year far away from home, from all of my friends and family. i couldn’t afford to go back to texas for christmas, so i was incredibly lonely. i felt so isolated and terrible, and i remember crying at night leading up to him leaving because the thought of having to sit at the apartment alone for both christmas and new years was a lot for me to handle. then, after work on christmas eve i got super drunk with a coworker and somehow ended up on a train with her to pennsylvania to spend christmas with her family. so i guess it worked out in the end, i was still alone on new years' though and that was really sad. anyways, the moral of that story is that when nathan was alive we never got to spend christmas together and now he’s dead so we will never get to ever and that makes me sad.

-every time a new album comes out, or movie or something hot in pop culture, or news story or whatever, my first reaction is always “oh! i wonder what nathan’s thoughts on this are” because he was always the first person i’d talk to about things when they happened, since we were always together, and now i feel this weird void when i realize that i don’t have anyone to immediately bounce ideas off of.

-i took out my old pillowcases from our apartment and i wasn’t expecting them to smell like him but they did. i still haven’t unpacked my suitcase of clothes from the apartment, but when i go in to take out an article of clothing, they all still smell like the apartment itself. that’s what i expected from the pillowcases, but instead they smelled exactly like nathan.

-i don’t care about basketball, but for some reason, not hearing about it 24/7 has been really weird. nathan would constantly tell me all the hot new basketball gossip and even though i don’t care about the sport, i somehow got into hearing about it all the time and now i’m back to being completely in the dark and it’s weird.

+++

the latter half of october has been better. i still get periodically sad most days, but i’m finally not weeping through the entire night any more. there was a small stretch of time where i was inconsolable, just constantly crying. now i can eat lunch without tears in my eyes, which is cool. i started reading again and read like 5 books in a week (which is a strange change of pace from who i’ve been since i graduated from college. literally the day that nathan died, i was reading a book and he straight up was like ‘wow, i could have sworn you were illiterate because i think this is the first time i’ve ever seen you read something’). the other day, i finally read ‘the year of magical thinking’ by joan didion which actually ruined my life. it felt like i was watching a tape of my own life the entire time i was reading it, because so many of her experiences were eerily similar to my own throughout this entire situation the last few months.

the biggest thing i did, however, was finally clean my bedroom. when i graduated from high school and went to college, my parents finally bought a house. since i was away at college, they just moved everything from my old bedroom into my room at the new house, so it started off just as a time capsule of everything i owned from high school. then as i’d move back home each summer between years at college, i’d bring home more garbage that would just accumulate in the room. my junior year of college, i moved to an apartment and i took my mattress from home. when i left that apartment to move to nyc, i threw the mattress away. so my bedroom at home was literally just a storage room for trash, old clothes, old furniture and knickknacks, and it had no bed. when i moved back to abilene, i spent the first two months sleeping on the couch in the living room because the thought of trying to put together a new room was exhausting and i had other things to expend my energy on, like sobbing for 5 hours straight. but finally, i did it. i spent a day throwing away all of my awards and papers and scripts and notes from high school. i threw away notes from freshman year of college, and put away boxes of novels i had accumulated as an english major. i bagged up all of my clothes that i hadn’t worn since i was 13. i ordered a mattress. i ordered the same mattress that nathan and i had at our apartment, which was a bold move on my part, but honestly it was comfortable and relatively cheap so whatever. it’s weird because now, sitting in a full sized bed i keep thinking “wow how did nathan and i share one of these, it seems so small” but then i remembered that we used to share a twin sized bed that didn’t even have a box spring so this is luxury in comparison. i love decorating and buying furniture and setting up rooms. and i was so excited for nathan and i to kind of settle so i could do that in philly. when we lived in new york, all the furniture we had was stuff we found on the streets basically, because we knew we’d only keep it for a year. but when we were in philly, we were able to actually buy stuff and set up a real living space. giving all of that away was really hard for me, not only throwing away everything we had built, but also throwing away some of my own independence of having my own space. so rebuilding a room in abilene was nice, and i feel a lot better about being back at home now.

the last couple of days of october have been hard for me for some reason. i spent two days going through all my old texts with nathan from the year that we lived apart and it’s left me in such a weird headspace. i think it’s hard to see how much we struggled to be apart back then, when it was something that was impermanent, and we were still able to actually talk to each other every day, and compare that to now, where i’ll never get to talk to him again. we were codependent as hell, but in like….a healthy way, yknow? i just constantly get so sad for all of the things we’ll never get a chance to do, and i get sad for all of the days that i won’t have him by my side, and i get sad for all of the nights that i won’t get to sleep next to him. and i’m sad that unlike the last time we were apart, this doesn’t end after one year. this is just what i have to deal with forever and i’m sad and i’m mad and i miss my fiancé a lot. one of the conversations i keep coming back to is when one time nathan was like “i don’t want to do another year like this without you” and i was like “you’ll never have to” and i’m emotional because it was true, but now i’m out here having to do every year without him. the other conversation i keep coming back to is one time when i was like “i really can’t imagine what it would be like to not have you in my life” and he was like “you’ll never have to deal with that.”

also, while re-reading, i came across a stretch of a few days where i was having a particularly hard time. i was stressed because of school and moving, and was just generally very depressed and nathan reminded me of the one thing that i need to keep reminding myself now- “please don’t try to deal with everything on your own.” when nathan and i were together, sometimes i would forget that, i would let myself get so overwhelmed with things before i would come to him and ask for help. and OF COURSE i’d feel a million times better every time i let him help me, but it always took me so long to let him help. that’s something i need to remember especially now- i need to let people help me. i need to ask people to help me.

my favorite part of reading through the old texts was from march 2017 where he sent me 5 texts in a row that said “don’t read our texts and get sad.” it’s almost like this is something that i do all of the time and have always done….weird…

i’ve come a long way from constantly googling “can you actually die from a broken heart,” but i’m still not doin so hot.

anyways, that’s the end of my october. on november 6th, i’m going back to new york for a little bit and i’m excited to see my friends and actually be present in the city. i went back pretty shortly after nathan died, and i was still in such a daze that i didn’t get to enjoy my time there, so it’ll be nice to be back with a clearer head and more ability to be social. it’s been nice traveling around and seeing friends and being in different places, it gets lonely being in abilene honestly. like, i get that i can text people but i’m constantly just dying for face-to-face interaction with people that know me well, and also getting to interact with people in a space that’s not just me locked in my bedroom. i do appreciate everyone that’s reached out to me lately though, it never hurts to get a text every once and awhile from people i dont necessarily talk to on a daily basis- sometimes it’s just nice to know i’m not out here totally by myself all the time. 

now that it’s november, in the spirit of thanksgiving, i spent some time reflecting on every time i was thankful to have nathan in my life. over the years that we were together, i sent him a ton of letters, and most of them had at least one paragraph where i’d list off some random list of things that i was thankful for. i always made it a habit to make it abundantly clear how much i appreciated him. here are some of those paragraphs:

the first is from august 2016, about 4 months after we had started dating. i sent this first letter to him the day i left to go back to college, right before he moved to new york to start grad school.

Thank you for being the best. Thank you for always being there for me, even when I’m in a dumb garbage mood and I’m not the easiest to deal with. Thank you for always being so patient with me. I know it’s frustrating sometimes when I won’t talk about things, but you are always so understanding. In the past, it’s been so hard for me to talk about my dumb human emotions, but you’ve always been so good at listening and not making me feel like I’m being ridiculous when I actually take the time to talk about them with you. Thank you for always asking how I’m doing. Thank you for always offering to get me ice cream when I complain about not having any at my house. Thank you for spending so much time with me this summer, even if it was at weird hours. Thank you for letting me yell all my stories at you. Thank you for always making me feel appreciated and valued. Thank you for always texting me good morning and goodnight. Thank you for buying me in n out every day for like a week when I had no money while you were in Austin. Thank you for always offering to do my laundry (I swear to god I’ll do it myself…eventually…maybe.) Thank you for living with me for those two weeks in Austin.Thank you for always letting me fall asleep on you. Thank you for being so easy to be with. Thank you for always supporting me and believing in me. Thank you for always making me laugh. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for being mine.

the next comes from december 2016. i sent this on christmas eve, after we had been living long-distance for four months.

When you moved away, I was so afraid that we were going to grow apart, I am so incredibly thankful that that hasn’t been the case at all. Despite being so far apart for so long, somehow I’ve managed to fall even more in love with you. You really are so incredible. Every day that I wake up and I’m yours, I genuinely feel like the luckiest person in the world. I’m constantly thankful for your support. I’m thankful for the way that you always make me feel appreciated. I’m thankful for the way that you always compliment me when I send you snaps. I’m thankful for the way that you constantly text me every day. I’m thankful that you always tell me that I’m going to be a great wife. I’m thankful for the way that you’re always there for me when I’m having a rough day, or when I’m sick, or when I’m stressed out. I’m thankful for the way that you always tell me you love me. I’m thankful for how you put up with me even when I’m being difficult. I’m thankful for all the times you stayed up late and talked to me on the phone for like six hours straight until way too early in the morning even though we both had things to do. I’m thankful for the way that you always remind me about things that I know I’ll forget to do. I’m thankful for the way you call me to make sure I wake up from my nap and don’t completely ruin my sleep schedule. These last few months have been hard, but the way that you do all of these little things made it a million times easier. Thank you for your dedication to me. I really don’t have the words to express how thankful and happy I am about all of the things you do for me. You’re my best friend, and I can’t imagine having a more perfect person by my side.

this letter was from june 2017, right before i moved to nyc.

this year hasn’t been easy but it has been so worth it. thank you for doing everything you could to make it as painless as possible. thank you for making time to call me most nights, and thank you for answering my calls when it was 4am and i couldn’t stop crying because i missed you. thank you for growing with me this year, for continually being better at loving me and helping me be better at loving you. thank you for doing this with me even though it wasn’t either of our first choice of how to spend the first year of our relationship. thank you for flying me to new york back in april, and showing me around before i moved. thank you for getting our apartment set up. thank you for being mine, and for wanting to marry me and for being such a god damn dream to be with. i’ll see you in a few days, i love you and we never have to be apart again.

the next letter is from october 2017. we had been living together in nyc for about four months at this point, i sent it on our 1.5 year anniversary. this letter was always really special to me, because i spent so much time reflecting on the new life we had started together.

thanks for having my back when i was stressed and unemployed by constantly reminding me that things would be fine and that we’re a team. thanks for making me shower every time i get too drunk and start throwing up. thanks for helping me get my life together that one night that i lost my phone. thanks for surprising me with your extensive knowledge of the musical stylings of both r. kelly and shania twain. thank you for making time for me even when you’re busy with school. also thanks for continuing to make sure that i don’t ruin my life by excessively napping and also forcing me to go to the grocery store even when i reeeeeeally don’t want to. i’m sorry that i steal all the sheets and take up the whole bed- i’d promise to get better about that but i try not to make promises i won’t keep. you’re the best and i’m really thankful of how patient you are with me- even when i’m a nightmare on my bad days. thanks for dragging me to new york, coming here is something i never would have done on my own accord and i’m actually kinda liking it a little maybe.

this one is from may 2018. the day after we got engaged.

hey b, thank you for asking me to marry you. i feel so incredibly lucky that you picked me, that i get to spend the rest of my life with you. thank you for deciding to break your whole ‘no marriage rule’ thing for me, i appreciate it. being your wife is gonna be my favorite thing, thank you for letting me do that.

this is from a month later, when we’d just moved to philly.

thank you for everything you’ve done this last week with moving us here and helping me get the apartment together. you’re the best. also you’re lucky i like you bc there is no one else that i would have driven 16 hours in one day for. thanks for still loving me when i get grumpy and thank you for taking care of me in all of the ways you always do. you’re my favorite and i’m really really glad that you’re mine

and finally, this is from october 2018. two months after nathan died. i still text him periodically, like he’s still alive. to catch him up on what’s going on. at like 6am the other night, i just sent-

thank you for being mine for as long as you were.

(also just as a ps, i’m so excited because i used to have this huge collection of pictures of nathan asleep on me because every time he’d fall asleep on me i’d take a bunch of pictures because it was so precious and i lost most of them when i lost my phone on an A train last year, but i found a couple of them when i was going through our texts on my macbook, so i’ll leave this post with that because it’s my favorite thing and i miss having to listen to him snore directly in my face every night)