#been fighting a total lack of motivation lately

[hystii]

marnie <3

had to make a sim after downloading this hair by @peachibunnii . it’s super freaking cute- thank you!

#been fighting a total lack of motivation lately #nothing seemed fun #or worth while #so im sorry for lack of posting #but i made this cute sim cause i got inspired by the heart buns #and i thought i'd share #yes she has elf ears cause y'all know i can't resist #hystii #my sims #ts4 #s4 #ts4cc #s4cc #my sim #mine #the sims 4

[lowkeyrobin]

Hello I was wondering if you’d be able to write a Ranboo x Gender neutral reader, and they both just got into a heated argument that left them both crying (only if you’re comfortable with writing something like this, I’d not I completely understand, also thank you for your concern, I really appreciate it) :)

honestly struggled to find smthn to make an argument out of but I think I got something! oneshots are a little difficult for me bc I get burned out and I think the actions but can't find the right words LMAOOOO ; but this is totally find to request dw!! and of course, if you ever need to talk my messages are always open 🫶🫶🫶 ; also istg I have other ranboo headers they're just in my drafts bc I've only been working on reqs lately LMFAO

RANBOO ; burnout

summary ; youre both burned out and stressed, and take it out on each other

warnings ; language, fighting, reader is described/talked about as a writer, angry mischaracterization (it makes sense in context trust me)

word count ; 1.4k

masterlist

Both you and Ranboo had been working your asses off recently.

They had themselves so tied down to content creation that it was becoming a personal prison cell. It was like everything he did was only to appease his fans, and he didn't know how to just calm down and slow things down for his well being. From the constant, long streams to the talks with merch and production teams, it never ended. Plus, the infinite cycle of scrolling online to see all the hate they received, it was becoming too much.

You, on the other hand, constantly kept working and working through the lack of motivation and burnout with no breaks. No matter how much people reassured you that you could take a break and you didn't have to stick to a schedule, it didn't do anything. You were determined to fill out each and every request even if you barely had any idea what you were doing, you'd stay up late trying to block out what to write and how to put it into words to appease your followers. Three times a day, seven days a week, every day of the month, about 2000 posts a year, if you kept that up.

You were dedicated to writing, you loved it, and you loved that you were able to turn something you loved into a job considering "real" jobs didn't work out for you. You had streaming, but you only did that if you were writing or needed ideas or help every once in a while and wanted to share any progress and whatnot. Your eyes tended to be bloodshot on the regular, being pulled down by saggy, dark eyebags.

You trudge into the kitchen, taking a cold bowl of mac and cheese and some water back to your office with you. Ranboo glares at you from the couch, holding his phone to his ear as he talks to some big guy with money, most likely. He doesn't say anything, but you notice the look on his face, his eyes glaring daggers into you as you walk away.

You sit back down at your chair, not even touching your food. You stare at the screen, your eyes slightly protected by the dark mode you'd reinforced on the website. Your mind was blank, empty, vacant, muddled. There were no thoughts behind your glazed eyes.

Your head pounded in pain, caused by all the blue light absorption you'd been taking in recently. God, Ran hated that. How you'd fucking complain of a headache and only do everything to worsen it. It pissed him off. It made him want to yell at you to just shut up about it, considering you didn't want to do anything to help yourself.

You type away at the keyboard once more, every button press causing a little click or clack to immerse from it. The keys light up a particular shade of white, a smooth wave like pattern glazing across it once more. You stop again, unable to finish the sentence once more.

You groan and lean back in your seat, feeling the utter disgust around you. You oh so desperately needed to sit in the shower and cry, considering your stress and pain, but you couldn't. You needed to make these people happy, you owed them. You owed them for giving you a stable job and a roof over your head, the least you could do was have their requests out within a few days.

You sit and ponder about your partner. You were sure there was no love left anymore. Both of you were too financially dependent on one another to up and leave, so it had to work for now.

Ranboo, now not on the phone, nearly slams the door of your office open, smelling the ice cold pasta you hadn't even touched a few feet away. He's quick to raise his voice with a stern tone, pissed off at you once again.

"Dude, I told you dinner was ready an hour ago, what the fuck? And then you just bring it in here and don't even touch it just to stare at the damn screen some more? Are you fucking kidding?"

You roll your eyes, not wanting to deal with this again. "Fuck's it matter? This is my job, Ranboo"

"Your job isn't to please everyone who acts nice to you. Your job is to write quality content and not complain about burning yourself out or headaches that you could easily solve by touching grass! Go outside, this isn't even a job. You don't do anything other than write some stupid fantasy all day and feed into people's delusions, Y/n!" He quickly rants, scoffing at the end.

"Holy shit, you're one to talk! Meh meh, meh, I'm so miserable, and I do all these long streams for my fans, and I treat my partner like shit because I never spend time with them and enable their unhealthy behaviors! I take out my anger on them because I'm a lonely asshole." You quickly spit back, standing up from your chair.

They scoff, stepping towards you a bit, "You're so pathetic, I never want to hear you come to me with your problems again. You're dependent on me. You barely get any money off of that, let alone any to pay rent or buy your own groceries. Get into the real world where talking to fancy businessmen and actually working for your money is all you do! Walk in my shoes for one day!"

You roll your eyes again and scoff, "You don't think this is an actual job? I could say the same to you! You play video games all fucking day and beg for Twitch subs! Just because you have a fancy merch line and have some stupid show you're working on doesn't make you all high and mighty and more important than anyone else!"

"It does, actually, you have no room to complain! If you need a break, you can go take it. My schedule is busy every hour of the day, I have no time to do shit! You're an overbearing, selfish asshole!"

Now that got the waterworks going, that's what got you beyond the point of just petty arguing to genuinely fighting. You have no room to complain, yet you spend all day just trying to make people happy and not hate you, to just pump content out and pretend like you're okay. You bottle up your emotions so he won't have to worry about you, yet you're overbearing and selfish.

"You are such a fucking asshole! Everything needs to be about you, doesn't it? Every single fucking thing in the world, huh? Fine, screw you" You turn to grab the bowl of food, and quickly, out of sheer anger, throw it at him, shattering the ceramic bowl. "I hope I never see you again, go fuck yourself. You don't deserve shit of what you have, your platform, your friends, your money, anything. I hope your whole online empire comes crumbling down and you're left with nothing"

You snatch up your phone, wallet, and keys, quickly stomping past him as tears drip down your cheeks. He stands there, appalled as tears well in his glassy eyes. He tries to chase you outside once he realizes you're serious, but you'd already slammed the door so hard it might as well have fallen off the hinges. He wipes his eyes, cheeks a light red due to the sheer amount of anger he felt in the moment. He was soaked in cold mac and cheese, ruining his white hoodie.

Once the adrenaline wasn't coursing through his veins anymore, he sits himself on the kitchen floor, the cold tile against his hands being used as a grounding technique. Some ceramic dust lays on his shoes, some liquid cheese being smeared against his hoodie as he tries to use a towel to wipe the access off.

Fuck, what did he just do?

He sits in silence, rethinking the situation as tears slowly stream down his face.

He could only hope that you were safe on that bus to nowhere. That bus you used to just go anywhere but home, just to escape the horrible life you lived inside that house. The house that bound you to its walls so you couldn't escape.

You couldn't escape the pain of your popular online presence or the pain of being trapped in that house any longer. Finally, it broke, the enchantment that kept you sealed inside.

Someone had to leave, and it looked like it was going to be you this time around.

#lowkeyrobin #mcyt x reader #mcyt preferences #mcyt oneshot #tommyinnit x reader #ranboo x reader #tubbo x reader #ranboo oneshot #ranboo imagine #gn reader #gender neutral reader #they/them reader

[thelampisaflashlight]

Strangely Human Rewrite 2: Pretend

[Dew struggles behind closed doors. This one is a bit heavy as a heads up, and deals with the rougher part of Dew's transformation into a ghoul.] Below the cut.

It has been a little over a week since the ghouls decided that they'd had enough of Mountain and Dew's petty little... whatever you wanna call it.

At the very least, Mountain can't ignore Dew anymore, not with a section of their shared wall missing, and, try as he might to cover the hole, Dew lacks the motivation to do anything beyond hang up Mountain's stupid beaded curtain.

Which, admittedly, doesn't look too bad.

Dew's honestly not sure why he's even still mad at Mountain, or if he's just mad in general.

It's hard to distinguish what's genuine anger and just... him being in irritable from feeling sick.

Dew doesn't have the energy these days to unpack his suitcases -still set in the middle of his floor mocking him- let alone pick through his feelings.

Perhaps that has something to do with it.

His lethargy, the perpetual feeling of malaise... it's one thing to deal with it behind closed doors, but now he has Mountain, who isn't in his space per se, but within sight more often than not these days.

Who shifts noticeably in his sleep whenever Dew gets up in the middle of the night or glances through the partition if he lays in bed for too long.

Sometimes, Dew's heart will warm a little when he sees Mountain's face pop into view from around the corner.

He tries not to be obvious with his concern because they're sort of fighting, but kind of not.

But, at times, it's... it's too much to be seen when he's feeling bad, and he knows the guy means well, but Dew needs his alone time, and he hasn't been getting much of that lately, and not just because he and Mounty are roommates now.

None of the ghouls are leaving him be.

Not since Aether discovered the rough patches on his skin had begun to spread.

"I... I don't know what's happening." he admitted, brow creased with worry as he tried and failed to make the scaly skin smooth out again to no avail, "I don't know how to help."

What's worse, is that the patches have started to itch now.

The only thing that seems to soothe the persistent ache is water.

Not lotion or a cooling balm -they tried that and it had burned so bad soaking into his skin that Aether all but threw him into the shower to wash it off of him- just water.

He spends a lot of time in the bath, soaking, leaving the door open so he can talk to Mountain even though they're totally still fighting.

Totally.

Neither of them have really apologized to one another, but Dew can only go so long sitting in silence before he starts to go a little stir crazy, and being sick certainly brings out the worst in him in that regard.

That said, it's nearly impossible to force two unwilling individuals to share a room, especially two grown adults, so, perhaps, the fact that Mountain has not abandoned his room, and Dew hasn't returned to his old accommodations is their own stubborn way of saying sorry.

Who knows.

Any which way, as Dew lets the water run over him like a dehydrated houseplant, Mountain is sat with his back leaning against the edge of the tub, fiddling with one of the bath toys Sunny had happily tossed into Dew's bathroom that morning.

It's a light blue crab with its eyes poorly painted on, made of a soft, hollow rubber that squirts water when squeezed, and although Dew had been a little annoyed being given something clearly for toddlers... he did have to admit it made wasting his days soaking in the tub a lot less boring.

"Hey, Mount?" Dew asks, shoving a small red and yellow octopus beneath the water, releasing it so he can watch it pop above the surface and bobble about.

"Yes?"

"Do you think... Do you think I'm dying?"

The earth giant turns to him, letting his elbow slip over the edge into the water, fingers still worrying the toy and frowns.

"I don't." he says.

"Why not?"

And Mountain pauses then, arm drooping further beneath the soapy water as he breathes.

Green meets amber, and in a voice so painfully small, he says...

"Because I don't want you to."

.

.

.

"It is possible that the last ritual had some delayed side effects." Papa says, wincing as he sees Dew practically clawing at his own neck, scratching at the long, angry looking marks already drawn there.

If he weren't so preoccupied itching, Dew would make some kind of witty remark, but his throat is sore, so he just glares at him, bemused.

"Then does that mean Dew is becoming a ghoul? Or is he... is he cursed somehow?" Aether asks, hopeful that it's the former not the latter.

"We suspect that Dew is undergoing the transition gradually, as opposed to all at once as the ritual was meant to do." Papa explains, "However... it's unclear which..."

He breathes in.

"It's unclear which element his body is shifting into..."

Aether tenses, "Elaborate."

"They tried turning me into water first." Dew says, cutting into the conversation, still dragging his nails down his neck, "Then fire. Twice."

"How come it didn't work the first time?" Aether wonders, grabbing Dew's hand to stop him from tearing at his skin anymore, "How is that even possible?"

"Well..." Papa clears his throat and sighs, "...we don't know. One theory that has been proposed is that Dewdrop already has a demonic attachment, which would explain why the previous rituals did not take... and, perhaps, that entity, the one preventing his transition, is finally tapping into the magic from the ritual."

"How would I..." Dew holds up his hand, "How the fuck could I have already been possessed and not know it?"

"I did not say possessed, I said you might have an attachment. It's not quite the same thing." Papa says, "But that's just one theory. I am more inclined to believe the second one, being that you may have had an ancestor who laid with a demonic entity at some point, meaning you were already technically a demon, and the rituals made it more... pronounced."

"...I personally do not wanna imagine being a monster fucker is a familial trait-"

"I mean that IS how the original ghouls were made..." Papa trails off, "But I digress."

"I don't think it's too much of a digression to imply that rawing demons may have lead to my current predicament... Maybe I caught something from the ghouls?" Dew mumbles, "Some kinda weird demon STD...?"

Aether frowns, "Dude."

"What? We all fuck around. A LOT. I'm just saying-"

Papa coughs into his hand.

"At any rate, we will look into the cause more thoroughly soon enough. Until then, monitor your symptoms and report any notable changes."

Dew pouts the entire way back to the dorms.

"That was completely fucking useless." he complains, scratching at his neck again, leaving the skin raw underneath his nails.

"Dew-" Aether starts, then tenses, "Dew, stop scratching, you'll make yourself bleed at this rate."

"It fucking itches." Dew grouses, then adds in a tired voice, "...It fucking hurts."

Aether furrows his brow, "It's only going to get worse if you keep that up. C'mon, let's get you back in the t-"

"I don't want to get back in the fucking tub, Aeth, I want to be able to actually get shit done, but I can't, because it feels like someone fried me and ran my skin through a cheese grater..." He hisses, itching the dry patches on his arms now, "I can't even fucking sleep-"

"You haven't been sleeping?"

Dew mumbles something under his breath.

"What?"

"I said of course I fucking haven't!" Dew cries, "I'm either shredding myself to pieces or trying not to drown, and any time I DO get the chance to lay down, my spine feels like someone is pulling it out my ass!"

"...You didn't mention the spine part when we had our check-up earlier." Aether says, "I told you to tell me if there was anything new! You-"

"I-" Dew gives a frustrated shout and stomps his feet, "I'M TIRED OF EVERYONE BEING UP IN MY BUSINESS, OKAY?!"

"D-"

"Every fucking day. Every fucking day! Someone is asking me, 'Hey, are you alright?' or 'How are you feeling?' and you know what?! I FEEL LIKE SHIT!" he digs his hands into his hair, "I feel like shit, Aether, and it's not getting any better."

"It's not getting any better..."

"Dew, it will. It will get better, it's just going to take time." Aether tries, reaching out to pull Dew into a hug, but as soon as his fingers brush the other man's sides, Dew flinches.

Hard.

"Fuck!"

Dew curls into himself.

"Dew?!" Aether startles, placing his hands on Dew's shoulders, "What's wrong?!"

"Don't touch me!"

.

.

.

So yeah.

Yeah.

Dew's getting worse.

A lot worse.

Every day seems to drag on and on and on.

And he doesn't sleep.

Just lays awake, too tired to even think of raking his fingers across his skin.

Mountain keeps the others updated, lets Aether in to check on him, but no one else really visits anymore, because every time anyone starts to speak, Dew snaps at them.

Physically.

He's taken to biting anyone who gets too close.

Even poor Rain, who had just been trying to ease his symptoms with a bit of his magic met the painful bite of blunt teeth.

"You should apologize." Swiss tells him late one night, sat beside his bed, he sounds like he's angry, or trying to be.

But more than that, he just sounds worried.

"When you're better, you have to-"

"Swiss..."

"Yes?" the multi ghoul asks, feeling hopeful.

That hope fades quickly as Dew rolls over to face him in the darkness, replaced with grief.

Dew's entire face is flaking like ash, like he's one breath away from being reduced to nothing but dust.

"...I'm sorry."

#Lamp writes #nameless ghouls #dewdrop ghoul #mountain ghoul #swiss ghoul #ghost band #ghost bc #the band ghost #ghost band fanfic #strangely human #this one hurts

[jamiepage19]

Update on Haunted by the Opera Ghost

So. I'm still here. Suffering from severe writer's block and an extreme lack of motivation, but still here.

This chapter has consistently kicked my ass for months now. I think I've torn it apart and rewritten it like four times now. Not an easy feat considering that each rendition was over 2,600 words. And with each rewrite, my confidence dwindles and my insecurity over whether or not I should even be doing this grows. This is a pivotal chapter and I feel like I'm in a war with my characters lol. I have this carefully constructed plot with things I can and cannot do in order to progress said plot and stay true to my ending, and my characters are literally FIGHTING me.

That's a thing, right? It's okay. I'm okay.

It hasn't helped that I had surgery to fix a failing knee implant back in May, and the surgery actually made things a shit ton worse. My knee literally disintegrated while they were in there. So guess who now needs a total knee replacement at the ripe age of 40 instead of the partial they originally had done back in 2019? This girl right here. So yeah. Recovery has been a bitch, and the constant pain (and Lupus--FFS I cannot make this shit up. God I've had a fucking hell of a year. Sigh) and not being able to do simple things like laundry, housework, and yard work (seriously, the only thing I have wanted to do this summer is make my backyard look pretty) has brought a good dose of depression along with it. The only solace I've found lately has been playing the new Zelda game and avoiding everything else.

Anyway. This right here is an attempt to pull myself up by my boot straps. I've been writing fairly steadily the last couple of weeks, and while the progress I've made is small, it's still progress. I think I'm finally satisfied with the latest rewrite and have set myself up to finish the chapter in a way that doesn't conflict with my overall vision of this story. I'm also slowly responding to reviews on FFN and AO3, so if you haven't heard from me yet, you will. Just give me time. Every day is a battle right now, but I can get through this.

So yeah. Thank you for coming to my pity party. There will be party favors at the door. In the form of a chapter update. Hopefully very soon. If you read this til the end, you are a saint and I love you.

TL;DR - Life sucks but maybe a chapter update this weekend???

#haunted by the opera ghost #update on chapter update #writing #writer's block #the worst #knee replacement #living with lupus #thank you for sticking with me #I'm okay #really

[gauntletqueen]

Didn't you mention you were watching Dragon Ball? How's that going? How much are you planning on watching? I wanna get back into watching it but it's a daunting catalogue and I've lately had trouble getting the motivation to watch series only a dozen episodes long so... I never finished GT even

I am yeah! It's Definitely Very Outdated but most of it is quite charming :>

I'm mostly watching it during my workouts, which feels fitting, and I'm just gonna see how far I can get before I'm bored ajksfghaf When (and if) I get to Z, I'll be watching Dragonball Z Kai which I've been told is the shortened version that cuts out a lot of the unnecessary fluff (like gratuitously long pauses and stuff to drag out fight scenes)

I totally get the lack of motivation! I've dropped sooo many shows cause I just wasn't able to pay enough attention or forgot about them. With Dragon Ball I'm 31 episodes in right now, it definitely helps that it's just not a very complicated show, and I'm watching the dub which means it takes even less energy to watch hehe

[my-mt-heart]

Hey friends. It goes without saying these past weeks have been awful for us. Emotions are still running high and everything feels upside down because we had the audacity to care so deeply about two characters and the path we were told they were on, only to have the rug pulled out from under us. There are plenty of ways for us to keep fighting for Carol and Melissa and Caryl, and I think one important way is to just keep spreading content.

I haven’t been in the mood to blog lately and unless TWD/AMC decides to do the right thing whatever that may look like now, I’m not sure I’ll ever get back to what I had planned—episode reviews, deep dives, rewatching, etc. But I still have plenty of love for the characters that I want to share, so today, I'm going to take the opportunity to say what Carol means to me (I already talked about Daryl somewhat and I'll get to Caryl later). Please feel free to flood my inbox with your own personal experiences too!

When I first started watching the show, I’ll admit my subconscious told me this woman, bless her fragile heart, is going to die real quick and that’s totally fine because what story could I possibly miss out on? Her cards are already on the table. She’s a battered housewife who has to depend on others to keep her safe. I sympathize with her and I hate her abusive husband on her behalf, but ultimately there’s no hero in her to root for. 

But then, whether it was always by design or not, Carol proved she’s full of surprises. Holding onto a grenade that saved the “real” heroes from certain death? Nevermind that she’s still showing a lack of confidence because, fuck. This woman has room to grow, and throughout the seasons she did just that in the most organic, beautiful, heartbreaking, and inspiring way I have *ever* seen on television, which is as much as testament to Melissa McBride’s phenomenal acting as it is to strong writing. 

The way some underestimate Carol in the context of the story seems to mirror how some underestimate her value as a character in real life. But if I’ve learned anything from Carol, and I’ve learned a whole lot, it’s that being the underdog fosters the motivation to achieve what nobody expects you to. Others don’t determine your limits. You do. That is why she is so often referred to as the most transformed, right?

She didn’t want to be the “burden” everyone expected her to be, so she pushed herself to become braver and bolder than the characters who always wore their heroism on their sleeve (i.e. Rick). She developed the strength, wit, and determination to fight and if not for her, those other heroes would have died ten times over. She’s helped others come into their own, she’s helped them flourish and stay alive. She makes the necessary choices no other character will make, even if it means carrying the unbearable weight of those choices. 

Daryl was right when he said if anyone deserves to be happy it’s her. I would add that her character deserves to be respected and honored, and that means from a writing standpoint too. Wherever she goes, wherever she lands, it better make sense for her journey. 

I’d watch Carol until the end of time, even in the most mundane activities because I know Melissa is capable of enticing us with so very little effort. She is not expendable. Not to me. Not ever.  

And so, let me shamelessly remind you once more to vote for Melissa because she deserves all the awards. Also, in case you missed my emails, her birthday is on Monday, May 23rd and we will be doing a Twitter blitz to wish her well. 9am ET. That’s am, not pm. Don’t miss it! 

#caryl #carol peletier #melissa mcbride #darylneedscarol

[magicofthepen]

gallifrey week, gallifrey week!! war room sneak peek thoughts and feelings (under the cut bc spoilers):

major dehumanization themes oh my god — from Leela being compared to a tool, to her being collared like an animal

very much thinking about Louise’s comment in the BTS preview that she thought at first the writers had taken Leela too far from her center—but that she comes back to her core instincts and loyalty and honor and lack of deviousness. very ahhhh about how Leela is violently forced into a box, forced to become something she hates more than ever—and that’s saying something, considering the corrupting influence of Gallifrey in general. but I’m excited for a story that potentially examines both the horrors of dehumanization and control and how that changes someone—and how it’s possible (maybe) to break away from that (although if War Room is tying into the War Doctor stories in the end, I don’t think Leela can truly break away from Gallifrey?)

god but Louise saying that Leela’s whole motivation is to free Romana even if it means sacrificing her morality…..I am Distraught 🥺🥺

three distinct moments of Leela’s fierce loyalty to Romana already — “I will not give in, Romana. I swear it.” / “You need to let Romana go. You need to let them all go.” “Never.” / “Just as you promised your late mistress you would.” “I would fight for her. I will not fight for you. Not your Gallifrey.” 😭😭

I’m having some kind of feelings about how Leela was so bitter towards Romana in tw3, but then she lost her and found her and lost her again—and she has been separated from everyone else, the last person she has to directly fight for is Romana. so her bitterness and the hurt and complicated feelings towards Romana can’t be fully addressed. there are worse things happening, so Leela isn’t getting a chance to properly confront, like…..anything about Unity (or Dissolution, or Homecoming). (also a Time War 4 problem. and yes I know it’s that the writers have already decided not to properly follow up Time War 3 and aren’t going to start now, but I will forever keep looking at this from an in-universe perspective and pointing out that it has been barely any time since Leela lost Veega! barely any time since Romana lied to her to stay behind on Unity! also: barely any time since she was separated from Rayo and never saw him again! barely any time since (as far as she knows) Narvin died! and she can’t process any of it! her emotions, her self is being literally stifled by the Time Lords’ collar.)

side note: Rassilon calls Romana her late mistress. I wonder if either 1. he’s decided he doesn’t actually care to use Romana as leverage (in an “obey me or she dies” way) since they have other methods of controlling Leela, and he’d rather just hurt Leela by referring to Romana as if she’s dead, or if 2. none of the other Time Lords in the room know that Romana’s still alive in a pocket dimension, and he wants to keep it that way, for whatever reason. because he was very clearly imprisoning her, not killing her, at the end of time war 4, and Leela knows that…..so it’s odd that he’d suddenly choose to refer to Romana as if she’s dead.

(and if he doesn’t care to use Romana as leverage…..what is he keeping her for? it could very well be just to torment her, but yeah.)

I wonder if there’s going to be some purpose to the biological monitoring other than “they can use her vitals to tell if she’s lying or afraid.” bc I totally get why they wrote in the compliance collar—it makes Leela working for the Time Lords make more sense; it’s more than just using Romana as leverage—but they really emphasized how they can detect all her bio-signals. interesting.

Leela refers to Romana as the true president, which. hmm. I feel like it’s probably Big Finish’s tendency to default to referencing Romana as President, but she hasn’t actually been President for a while.

Louise describing Leela as “slightly paranoid, very angry, very controlled” yeah yeah yeah this series seems like it’s gonna be devastating and fucked up for Leela and I already love her bottomless depths of rage—and now that they’re literally collaring her, I feel like she’s storing up just an unending scream at everything she has endured and is enduring and when she has the slightest opening, she’s going to snap. which, good!! I’m glad the writers are letting her be this angry

there is this devastating hint of despair though at “What else can he do to me?” Leela has always turned to anger in her most grief-stricken moments, throwing herself into a fight as a way to cope. this is no exception—she’s lost so much, and she doesn’t care anyone how much she’s hurt. she’s reckless, daring them to starve her or torture her. she’s carrying around a deep well of grief and it’s coming out as rage and a thirst for vengeance, like it always does in her lowest moments

only 15 minutes in and Leela’s already explicitly threatens to kill Rassilon twice. iconic. @ big finish, let her stab Rassilon at some point, she deserves it

new theme!! i’d say of the prior themes, it feels closest to the era 3/time war theme, but where that one was solemn this one has a crackling energy to it. i like it! new vibes!

#lucy i haven’t read your thoughts yet i’m gonna go do that now #there is a visceral intimate horror in war room that is different from prior boxsets #what they’re doing to leela isn’t the worst or most appalling thing they’ve done #but how she’s treated is still so different to how romana and narvin were treated on gallifrey even when they were classified as traitors #gallifrey audios #gallifrey spoilers #leela #ramblings #emily listens to big finish

[wallyaxiom]

𝚃𝙰𝚂𝙺 𝟸𝟻; 𝙽𝙴𝚇𝚃 𝙶𝙴𝙽.

               andi hawkins.

asteria might have been five minutes older than andi but that never mattered much. she’s her father’s daughter to a t. loves to question authorities, loves to get into fights and loves to be right. she’s the girl that will stand up for what’s right even if it means standing alone. she didn’t get her siblings charisma or approachability. andi is prickly at best. a no bullshit kind of gal. if you think jim is intimidating wait until you meet her ! she’s brutally honest and will make you cry if she doesn’t like you or if you mess with her family. the only people who ever sees her softer side is nina mcqueen or her father. she’s got a soft spot for her family and friends but if you tell anyone she’ll punch you. 

INSPIRED  BY  : kat stratford ( 10 things i hate about you ) , ziggy berman  (  fear street: 1978  ) , robin buckley (  stranger things  )  ,  theo crain  (  the haunting of hill house  )  ,  sydney novak (  i am not okay with this  )  ,  carol danvers (  captain marvel  ) ,  jo march (  little women  )

𝙶𝙴𝙽𝙴𝚁𝙰𝙻

BIRTH NAME.  andromeda sarah hawkins NICKNAMES.  andi. DATE OF BIRTH.   february 14. AGE.     twenty-six GENDER.   cis female. PRONOUNS.  she/her. SPECIES.   half alien, half human. POWERS.   photon energy ( flight, superhuman strength and can project photon energy energy balls ) SEXUALITY.   lesbian. PLACE OF BIRTH.    elias, california. CURRENT RESIDENCE.   elias, california. OCCUPATION.   space cadet for the nova corps.

𝙰𝙿𝙿𝙴𝙰𝚁𝙰𝙽𝙲𝙴

HEIGHT. 5'8" BUILD. toned. HAIR COLOUR/STYLE. strawberry blonde //  ( X ) EYE COLOUR.  blue. PIERCINGS.  ears, belly button and septum. TATTOOS. 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 NOTABLE MARKINGS.    freckles !!! GLASSES/CONTACTS ?  she’s got great vision. FACECLAIM.  maya hawke. VOICECLAIM. maya hawke. ( X )

𝙷𝙴𝙰𝙻𝚃𝙷

PHYSICAL AILMENTS.   none. ALLERGIES.    none. SLEEPING HABITS. total night owl. is known to stay up late and run off of four hours of sleep just fine EXERCISE HABITS.  she works out 5 times a week EMOTIONAL STABILITY. 9/10. BODY TEMPERATURE.  she runs hot. if she uses her powers too much she can overheat and exhaust herself. DOMINANT HAND.    right. DRUGS / SMOKE / ALCOHOL ?  no / weed occasionally / yes

𝙿𝙴𝚁𝚂𝙾𝙽𝙰𝙻𝙸𝚃𝚈

TROPES.   action girl, badass gay, deadpan snarker, jerk with a heart of gold, only known by their nickname & tomboy and girly girl POSITIVE TRAITS. intelligent, witty, protective, individualistic, spunky, independant NEGATIVE TRAITS.  abrasive, sarcastic, rarely listens to authority, proud, outspoken USUAL MOOD.   annoyed. LIKES.  space, skateboarding, 70s aesthetic, rollerblading, black converse, jean jackets & the moon !! DISLIKES.  people who lack common sense, tomatoes, the feeling of wet socks and people in the kitchen with her BAD HABITS.  cursing, putting holes in the wall with her energy blasts ( happened a few times when she was younger ) and being brutally honest

𝚁𝙴𝙻𝙰𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽𝚂𝙷𝙸𝙿𝚂

MOTHER.    wally axiom FATHER.      jim hawkins SIBLINGS.    josh, circe, asteria, and percy hawkins. CHILDREN.   none. BIRTH ORDER.   fourth out of five kids // younger twin by two minutes. SIGNIFICANT OTHER.  nina mcqueen, WIFE. CLOSEST FRIENDS. the mcqueens, kinsley lightfoot & cassie beausoleil 

𝚃𝙴𝚂𝚃𝚂

ZODIAC SIGN. aquarius. MBTI. istp. TEMPERAMENT.   choleric. HOGWARTS HOUSE.    gryffindor. MORAL ALIGNMENT.   chaotic good.

𝚂𝙺𝙸𝙻𝙻𝚂 & 𝚂𝚃𝙰𝚃𝚂

LANGUAGES SPOKEN.   english & french DRIVE ?        yes. JUMP START A CAR ?        yes. CHANGE A FLAT TIRE ?        yes. RIDE A BICYCLE ?        yes. SWIM ?       yes. PLAY AN INSTRUMENT ?       yes. PLAY CHESS ?       yes. BRAID HAIR ?      yes. TIE A TIE ?          yes. PICK A LOCK ?          yes. SEW ?        no.

COMPASSION.          7/10.

EMPATHY.         7/10.

CREATIVITY.          10/10.

MENTAL FLEXIBILITY.          9/10.

PASSION.          10/10.

LUCK.         8/10.

MOTIVATION.  9/10.

EDUCATION.          10/10.

INTELLIGENCE.          9/10.

CHARISMA.         6/10.

REFLEXES.          9/10.

WILLPOWER.          6/10.

STAMINA.          9/10.

PHYSICAL STRENGTH.          10/10.

BATTLE SKILL.          9/10.

INITIATIVE.         10/10.

RESTRAINT.          6/10.

STRATEGY.         7/10.

TEAM WORK.         5/10.

(  PINTEREST, HER TAG, PLAYLIST. )

#watask

[unsettlingcreature]

Helloooo! For the fanfiction ask game: 1, 15, 17, 27, 45, 55, 79. Sorry if there's too many :)))

no apologies needed, I love answering questions :3

1. Do you daydream a lot before you write, or go for it as soon as the ideas strike?

I daydream a whole ton simply because a lot of fics start out as either "what if I wrote xyz" (and then being like, well why don't I?) or me just bouncing an idea around in my brain (and realising I like it too much to NOT write it). Sometimes they get stuck in the stage between daydreaming and actually writing it because I get caught up in planning how I want things to go, which has caused some ideas to fizzle out over time as I realise I'm not as excited about the idea in practice.

15. What’s your favorite time to write?

Probably late at night/super early in the morning. Especially if my sleep schedule is wobbly, I'll often wake up at 3am and suddenly feel the need to start writing. It's not that I hate writing during the daytime, it just feels weird to me.

17. Do you have a writing routine?

Sort of!! I'm trying to figure out what works for me but so far my writing routine is just getting myself something to drink and setting out some snacks, so I don't lose focus when I get thirsty or a little peckish. My current snacks of choice are hard pretzels, a cereal bar and some humbugs.

27. What area of writing do you feel strongest in?

This has actually changed over time. I used to feel strongest writing scenery and I still do but I actually feel really confident writing combat scenes now. I used to hate them because I had no idea how to start but reading books and watching fights at Empire helped me get a good point of reference.

45. What genre/trope do you tend to write the most?

I'm not really sure. My first instinct was to say Time Travel/Fix-it but I haven't written that for years. I guess the Found Family trope mainly because I end up putting that into most longfics I write 😭For genre, definitely fantasy of some flavour.

55. Have you noticed any patterns in your fics?  Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?

My brain often latches onto phrases I like and then I have to struggle to not use them too often. At the moment, I've been trying to not overuse "they swallowed the rising bile in their throat".

For common settings, I think I definitely prefer fantasy settings overall. The current big projects I'm working on with fics are all fantasy (skyrim fic, two d&d fics with perseus, the dragon age fic I'm planning) but I think that's just because it is my favourite genre/setting.

I think as themes go, I also tend to put a focus on characters starting out in a bad place and almost hitting rock-bottom, only to grow and flourish. I also accidentally made both Arielle and Perseus struggle to hold their faith - I'm not totally sure whether Arielle will find it again like Persy did though!!

79. Do you have any writing advice you want to share?

Focus on writing what makes you happy because if you don't, you'll often lack the motivation to keep working on it - so it'll either never get finished or never be finished to a standard that you're satisfied with. But at the same time know that you're going to hit certain points in longer projects where it doesn't burn so brightly as always (usually when you're writing the less exciting parts or areas that you are weaker in).

There's also no shame in putting ideas/projects on the back burner or giving up on them. If you decide partway through that you don't want to finish it, you'll still have learnt and improved from what you have completed (even if you only just started. Planning and writing the beginning is harder than a lot of people give credit for!!)

#long post #asks #miraakulous-cloud-district

[sonofthesaiyans]

OKAY. The Alliance.....

As someone who really hates that this was the manga’s endgame, the fan nickname “Cringevengers” is VERY apt for what Isayama settled for with this fucking finale. 

There’s so much wrong with the victims of Marley’s rampage aligning with and FORGIVING the people who triggered Eren’s gradual descent into madness in the first place. And it’s an entirely unrealistic outcome even if they were uniting to fight an even deadlier adversary. Apparently it’s okay that you slaughtered thousands of our own if only after you’ve been encountered by the consequences of your actions that you’re REALLY REALLY sorry about it. For so long as it is convenient to get yourself out alive anyway, right? 

I’m mostly shooting down Marley’s side of this debacle but here’s my take on the final eleven here. I’ll try to keep them brief. 

Jean Kirstein: Gradually became less important as the series wore on. I’m not even sure why the Warriors made it a point to rescue him from the Yeagerists. His connections to everyone, notably his active crush Mikasa just hold no weight in the ending. I honestly wouldn’t have mourned for very long if he died when Titanized. 

Connie Springer: Most useless member of the 104th. No plot, no real motivations, gradually forgot about his best friend Sasha and barely had the reaction you’d expect of him from that atrocity. The dude has had the least impact on the overall story among the survivors of the 104th, and he should have died long ago. I will forever stand firm that it should have been him that died on that blimp. Connie would have been no big loss whatsoever. 

Hange Zoe: She REALLY got done dirty in this season. Made out to look like a totally incompetent commander who failed to anticipate the Yeagerist coup against her own unit. Erwin Smith would not have been so late to realize what was coming. But even then, Hange was the only light left in the series at the end, and she ended up sacrificing herself for absolutely fucking nothing. Any redeeming value the finale might’ve had DIED WITH HANGE. The last good thing that existed in this series who’s name was not Levi Ackerman. 

Levi: The only deserved survival in this series, and even then it does not feel at all fulfilling. Levi deserved a lot better for all the crap he was put through and all the loss he endured. And unfortunately, not even Captain Levi “Fuck You” Ackerman can save Attack on Titan from its worst villain: Hajime Isayama. 

Mikasa: Went from the most badass heroine of the series to the most pathetically one-dimensional. We knew she wasn’t going to die before slaying Eren, nobody believed that for a moment I bet. But with how much she was defined solely by Eren, even as he committed himself to a literal holocaust, she might as well have died with him because Mikasa Ackerman ain’t worth shit without her crutch, Eren. She had the potential to be a far more interesting character but season four failed to realize that lethality in combat alone does NOT equate to a compelling character. And how many times did she express horror at the necessity of killing Eren? And what was the value of her royal bloodline in Hizuru? I get a headache just thinking about Mikasa now. 

Reiner: Absolutely worthless in season four, all this talk about him having a split personality deciding between right and wrong between Marley and Paradis? Doesn’t amount to anything. Pretty much got replaced by his MUCH LESS appealing bitch of a cousin. He absolutely should’ve died in battle, as that was the only way he could ever atone for all the lives he took in provoking Eren, but giving up his. Reiner’s survival was most definitely NOT earned. 

Annie: I don’t why people still love her. Eight years spent in crystal in anime time? Too little too late to be making up for her lack of character growth now. By the time of her return she is nothing more than a tagalong and should’ve been replaced by another character. She should’ve been eaten by someone and her Titan claimed by another inheritor because there’s literally no point to her still hanging about. And then there’s what she said to Hitch about the crimes she committed. Someone who says they’d do it again if they had to is not only clearly unrepentant, but is someone who absolutely did NOT earn their survival either. 

Armin: “You became a mass murderer to save us. Thank you”. That is all. Also FUCK YOU, Erwin really should have been given the Colossal Titan. Fight me on that. 

Gabi: Unquestionably the most UNNECESSARY little bitch to ever plague any form of fiction. Nothing Gabi adds is anything new to the series and the price paid to bring her into the main fold of the story most definitely was not worth it  There is no way anyone can take seriously the image of some stupid suicidal twelve year old with a fucking rifle standing among warriors she has somehow outperformed even though they are bonafide veterans with years on her arrogant little ass. Gabi’s story has no valid payoff in the end by this stage in the story and is the worst equipped to fight Eren by far. There are no remaining excuses for what she did to Sasha, and the ending did not validate either Sasha’s demise or Gabi essentially stealing all the focus from her opposite, Eren. Sasha would’ve been an infinitely more reliable asset in the battle having the same skill set as Gabi AND the skill to kill Titans. A lot of time wasted so we can see the little shit who sent Eren over the edge get rewarded for having inadvertently helped him to trigger the apocalypse. In short, she came out of the story almost the same as when she entered with very little consequence for any of it. Virtually unscathed. Seeing this stupid child stand among seasoned veterans from both sides with a big fucking gun might very well be the most ridiculous image to be found anywhere in this season. Her story sucks, her voice sucks, she is nothing more than a crass excuse to push Sasha out of the picture, and she screwed the human race. Isayama, you and Gabi can both go to Hell. 

Falco: Literally a Chekhov’s Gun. He is an unnecessary inheritor of the Jaw Titan for the even more unnecessary Porco Galliard, making him the second replacement from the infinitely more interesting Ymir to whom he had no valid connection whatsoever. I’ve spoken more than once about how fucked up the Jaw Titan’s story is when you actually stop to examine how it played out, but from what corner of Isayama’s ass did he pull out this crap about Falco being able to summon Zeke’s Titan abilities on top of his Jaw Titan abilities through the spinal fluid he had been infected with? Far too late in the game to be bringing up a power that had not been hinted at before. Falco may be infinitely more sympathetic and watchable than Gabi, but that does NOT make him a necessary or even good character. And he is not enough to save the show from his worse half. That’s to say nothing of his need to protect a girl who recklessly put his life on the line because she had a death wish. Seriously, I don’t get the appeal of Falbi when it’s no less abusive than Eremika. It almost makes Zutara look more palatable by comparison. 

Still a more deserving survival than anyone else on the Warriors’ side though, I guess I’ll give Falco that. 

Pieck: She’s the Warriors’ equivalent of Connie. I mean look at her, she’s even standing in the background there like a complete afterthought, because that’s what Pieck is. AN AFTERTHOUGHT. Doesn’t receive a personality or name until the final season, she has no real motivation or backstory, she survives constantly despite being what is explicitly stated to be the weakest of the Nine Titans, even her last name is an indication that she is not meant to be taken seriously. If it weren’t for her cute design, nobody would give a rat’s ass about Pieck. And even then, I think the fans have mistaken her looks as equating to actually having a defined personality to match. Yeah, that’s what we all thought about Mikasa too back in the day. That’s a burn, by the way. And sorry Pikuhan and Jeanpiku fans, I am not going to play nice with you, there is no valid reason to ship Pieck with anybody, any more than there was ever any cause to ship Jean with Mikasa or to ship Chef Plot Device with Sasha. What was his name again, btw? Short and sweet, Pieck’s very existence is a joke. 

I think it’s safe to say the alliance is just the final nail in the coffin for all the remaining survivors of significance in this series. There’s so much wrong with how each one of these characters were handled, from the beloved and loathed originals, to the newbies who Isayama was too eager to cram in too late in the game. 

The only alliance I am interested in seeing is the one that forces Isayama to declare the entire timeskip non-canon. 

This story ended with the Ocean. 

#attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #eren yeager #fuck eren #i hate eren #Mikasa Ackerman #eremika #mikasa x eren #jeankasa #jeanpiku #pikuhan #hange zoë #hange zoe #LEVI ACKERMAN #jean kirstein #jean kirschstein #reiner braun #aot ymir #snk ymir #porco galliard #armin arlert #gabi braun #snk gabi #aot gabi #Falbi Gabi Braun Falco grice Sasha braus Sasha blouse hajime Isayama #fuck gabi #falbi #i hate gabi #garbage braun #falco grice

[therubyreader]

My Review of Divine Rivals by Rebecca Ross

See a full list of my book reviews here

Review Word Count Total: 932

I’m back! I’ve managed to get over my reading slump and I’m now trying to beat up my writing slump so please be patient while I de-rust my skills. For that reason, this review is going to be shorter than my normal reviews but also because there aren’t any major plot points I want to talk about so there won’t be a spoiler section of this review like there usually is. Ok, let’s jump into it! 

I’ve once again been trapped by the BookTok sphere of influence, and I read Divine Rivals by Rebecca Ross, a book I’ve seen mostly raving reviews for but also, it’s fair share of haters. Divine Rivals introduces us to Iris Winnow, an eighteen-year-old journalist whose older brother, Forest, just went off to fight in the war of the gods. Though Forest promises to write to Iris as soon as he can, it's been months and she’s heard nothing from him, and in her desperation, she types out a letter to him and sticks it in their shared wardrobe, mimicking her late grandmother’s habit of leaving them notes in their pockets. When Iris’ letter disappears, she assumes that the old magic of the city, Oath, has magically transported her letter to her brother on the front but instead they end up in the hands of Roman, her main rival at the paper.  

Though it looks like I’m easily influenced by TikTok and only listen to their recommendations, I was intrigued to see for myself what the hype around this book was, especially since I’ve seen very polarizing reviews of it, and also, I’m easily susceptible to ideas. I did stay up until 1:30 in the morning the night that I got it off hold at the library, because I just fell in love with the characters and how their love story was developing over the course of them corresponding through these magical letters. The plot is very romance driven, the war going on is just a side character to Iris and Roman’s relationship, which I’ll talk more about in a second, and the plot is essentially driven by these characters until about the last third of the book where the war starts to take more of a leading role in the story. While the writing style isn’t extremely poetic or really anything extraordinary, it is easy to follow, which is good to have when there are so many moving pieces in the plot that you’re meant to keep up with.  

I think the author’s biggest strength is developing these multidimensional characters who have tangible motivations outside of the love story and they are very real, they act like real people, and they are able to learn and grow as people both within and without the context of the relationship. The Iris from the beginning of the book is a very different Iris to the one at the end, without spoiling too much, she is shaped by the war and seeing the fragility and shortness of human life, and also by what it means to love and be loved unconditionally. The same could be said for Roman who learns to take risks and to follow his heart as opposed to listening to what high society expects him to be.  

Now, because I am me, I have to complain a little bit. I think my biggest complaint was how strange the world building is, I don’t think we ever got a country name, only city names, and there isn’t very much of a description of where we are besides giving us a cardinal direction and kilometers of distance, which is cool and all, but I would’ve liked a bit more, like a map or at the very least something to fill in the pieces of where exactly the characters were living. I think the biggest problem with this book was that it was teetering the line between historical fiction, with all of the obvious references to World War I, and fantasy with the inclusion of the gods, magic, and just the completely made-up country we’re in and it’s such a strange balance to maintain that I felt the world building was lacking. We get allusions to the gods pretty much immediately but we’re in a setting that feels familiar, it’s very obviously a scene from the 20th century in our world and gives you a bit of whiplash putting those two pieces together. I also didn’t like how all the information on the gods was given to the reader and Iris via Roman’s grandfather’s old book and we get almost no real-world explanation. And I get that the people of this world don’t know why these two specific gods have woken up and immediately started beefing but come on, you’re telling me no one has any conspiracy theories, no historians or professors are being bombarded with interview requests to try and explain what’s going on? I don’t know, I just wasn’t really convinced by the world we were in and trying to puzzle it out really took me out of the story.  

Overall, I do think this was a good book, I definitely enjoyed it and I’ll be reading the sequel once it comes off hold at the library. I would recommend it to anyone who is a fan of historical fiction and wants to try their hand at light fantasy and any romantasy fans who want to give this in-between genre a try. I’d give this book a “a little strange but in a good and fun way that will make you cry a little” out of ten. 

#val's book reviews #divine rivals #letters of enchantment #rebecca ross #book review #booktok #bookblr

[rhtakeuchi]

This was a comment I wrote to a friend back when the-game-that-must-not-be-named released. They shared some very openly misinformed outrage about the “antisemitic” stuff in the game. It said goblin nose sizes depend on how evil the goblin is, and all sorts of ridiculousness about the goblins trying to kidnap children. Honestly, the post sounded more like an antisemitic conspiracy theory, especially since I played the game and none of it was remotely true.

However, on Reddit and Twitch, trolls and bullies were getting particularly terrible to the point of spamming random folks who had subbed or chatted about the game. I’m not even sure if they were legit protesting and or if they were just being terrible because they felt it was fine, but it’s not fine to harass folks and call them transphobes (and all sorts of obscenities) just for playing a game. So I was worried to post anything, but I can’t turn off my correction-sense when something so crazy is out there with folks massively sharing it as if it were fact.

***

My comment:

Wow, this person did not actually play the game, and it’s really sad that so many folks sharing these things haven’t played the game to judge it for themselves, and those who have are too scared to say anything or else be bullied by those sharing these things. But hey, if folks want to bully me, have at it. Just remember a lot of folks with PTSD and other conditions used the Wizarding World as their safe mental space for decades before JK became problematic, and all those traumatized folks aren’t about to nuke their safety paracosms because JK has gone all Lovecraft. Some might have been able to find something else to dive into, but nobody should be thought policing how someone else should deal with their trauma. Let’s be real. Most fantasy worlds were initially created by misogynists (and worse). While it feels uncomfortable to go back and reread Xanth or Wheel of Time, a lot of folks loved those worlds — enough to make a series of the latter that is significantly less sexist. But here’s my actual rebuttal.

Spoilers:

*** *** *** ***

Noses have nothing to do with anything. In fact, the goblins are mostly based on the exact same asset with minor facial variation, much like the generic extra students. Honestly, the facial mapping is rough in general. The bankers aren’t at all involved in Ranrok’s extremism — in fact one banker is killed by Ranrok in the prologue trying to stop him from stealing from the bank. Ranrok gets quite a bit of story, which is sadly more substantial than most characters in the game. If you want to criticize the game for a very weak storyline in general, that’s totally legit. The dark magic side story about a boy trying to heal his sister (and going dark in the process) is actually more compelling than the entire main quest. There are equal factions enemy goblins and wizards with an alliance, but they actually have a motivation. Both factions are led by descendants or followers of the original folks who helped lock away the Ancient Magic™️ (several wizards and a goblin were involved) and now the factions want the magical nuke-power for themselves for their various (and somewhat understandable) reasons and the main character is the only one in the last few centuries who can actually see the Ancient Magic™️. However, the game insists the correct way to deal with the situation is to seal the Ancient Magic™️ away so nobody has the nukes. So be prepared for an almost Twilight-level lack of anything substantial happening. But there is a boss fight rather than a strange psyche-out and there’s no creepy imprinting or whatever, so marginally better than Twilight. I’m not seeing the raging antisemitism this post is talking about. There is bigotry toward non-wizards, yes. That was still a problem in the books 100 years after the game takes place, so one wouldn’t expect to make a substantial change in the late 1800s when house elf rights didn’t get a big boost until Hermione’s efforts in the late 1900s. Honestly, most of the fights are with spiders (which is why there’s an arachnophobia mod that is particularly popular).

[eristic-kaleidoscope]

Tipping Broken Scales | Erik A | Trial 3.4 | Re: Erik, Eureka, Adrik | ATTN: Eureka

Ever since the start of this, Erik A had had an itch of a thought of what had happened here. Certain things he’d seen between both Adrik, his new partner, and Eureka, who he’d considered at least something of a friend and invention partner, even if they’d never had a chance to have a deeper conversation so far, not for lack of things he’d thought of saying. Thanks he wanted to give again for helping both Arakiel and Erik when he’d asked for that favor, or about both of their siblings. The clone situation he’d managed to suspect before she’d revealed it, even.

Whatever other people might think of him, he wasn’t so biased to believe or help someone close to him over someone else just because of that. There was so much more to consider in every choice, manufactured ones in this motive or just in life, too. So after more careful consideration…

“I didn’t speak up before, mostly just because I didn’t want to tunnel vision on Eureka right off the bat before we worked other shit out, but you don’t even need a comparison, because I know that that mark on Ae-ra seemed like a mild electrical burn to me. I’ve dealt with plenty of them before, both from her taser myself and from outside of here, it happens to me a lot. Course, I didn’t know much as much about types of chemical burns and other shit like that so I couldn’t be totally sure in the investigation, but now we know anyway.” 

And there was the confession, huh? It seems as though Eureka is simply breaking under the pressure, saying what happened, but… he doesn’t believe that to be true. Not just in her literal words, but the idea that she’s cracking under the pressure either. No, this wasn’t that, and that much he could understand. It was the most logical choice to make, after all. 

“No, Eureka isn’t stupid. I don’t believe her story for a variety of timing issues over anything, but her confession is absolutely a strategy she’s using, not something blurred out without thought. She had to know that things were closing in on her the moment the taser was brought up, so what she’s claiming makes sense, especially since I would have just asked her to show her taser and see if it had a charge if she hadn’t.”

He looks to Erik at some of his more dramatic wording of this too, though he decides not to derail to focus on it. Instead, something else in his words catch Erik A’s notice, and he frowns, looking back over the rest of people here. Believe that she hadn’t meant to kill Ae-ra…

  “I can’t see any of this as justice, not on any end of this for Chen, Ae-ra, or Eureka, but… No, I… can’t buy that she didn’t try to kill Ae-ra on purpose either. Whatever her plan was walking into the room, whichever of them she WANTED to wind up dead because I at least could believe she’d have wanted Chen dead over Ae-ra, with the changed times maybe making her late and Erika Chen already dead on the ground there’s no doubt in my mind that the person who entered that room with the poisoned needles still made the choice to kill. Why the fuck else would something that deadly and hard to safely store be made? She’s right that cactus needles are at least somewhat delicate, and that that stab was too clean to have been in an equal fight, not broken and bent.”

He sighs, a tired look on his face as he looks directly at Eureka.

  “So I guess… I just want to know, why didn’t you just walk away? Even if you WANTED to help Ae-ra get away with it and she didn’t believe you about it, there was nothing stopping you from just tazing her and getting the fuck out to safety. And IF Ae-ra had killed Chen, she would have either tried to frame you and gotten away with it, or she would have died in the trial. With how protective she was of her brother, too, there was no damn way she wouldn’t pick to let him and the rest of them live if she did get away with it too, so you shouldn’t have had the motive to worry about any more, with Chen dead.”

"So I want to know. Why did you actually use a deadly weapon on her? Because right now, I really can’t see Chen being the one to have done Ae-ra in.”

“And I don’t know, I can’t say for sure whether or not it was just… a heat of the moment mistake or adrenaline or something else, but you… Eureka, if you really cared about your sister’s safety that much, why didn’t you vote for my sister when they were put up against each other? Because I know for a fact that the only person who voted for my sister over yours wasn’t you. Not trying to be the asshole here, and I wouldn’t even be bringing this up if you weren’t trying for a tearjerker argument right now, but you are, so I am too.”

#Erik A #chapter3 #trial3 #submission

[thefoldedbird]

A bunch of personal shit and me working through my thoughts by writing them down and rereading/adding/editing.

Fair warning, this is going to get ramble-y.

So like…I didn’t realize I did this. And it makes sense on the surface. But then the more I thought about it the more I realized it wasn’t…good?

My mom said something a while back:

“You can change your attitude or your situation or you can be unhappy. Those are your options.”

Sounds harsh. Right? I thought so at the time.

I always like…dismiss the attitude part. Like. You can’t change the way you feel about things. They are your feelings. So long as they are rational, they shouldn’t be able to change just cause you want them to, right?

To an extent, I think there is a truth to my opinion. Feelings are feelings and are hard to change. But I think I took her words too…literally, perhaps? That doesn’t feel like the right word. But oh well.

My point being that I believe feelings and opinions can be difficult to change. Especially if the only reason is to be happier where you are. Because whatever rational you use to start making yourself happier, always has that underlying ulterior motive.

That you are only thinking this way now to be happier, not because you are actually happier. How could you be? You weren’t happy before and nothing has changed now.

How deep can you dig the hole before a change of attitude is just a lie you tell yourself? That question always gets to me.

Anyway.

On to my revelation.

So like, I’ve spend the better part of the night imagining horrible scenarios where I break it off with my boyfriend because he’s done something horrible and totally out of character and I’m totally validated in leaving him. Wow, that makes me sound psycho.

Important to note, I don’t want to leave him.

And I’m sitting here and wondering. Why? Why have I been doing that all night? It’s just making me angry and short tempered. I’m putting myself in a bad mood. Why the hell am I doing that?

And then I realize, in all these scenarios I’m creating I’m mostly if not totally validated in my choice to leave him because of his actions. Which again; are all very out of character for him. (This sounds repetitive…basically the realization that the validation was bringing undue satisfaction.)

In every scenario I was applying a stress that I have. In every scenario I was applying that stress to an action he was doing. In every scenario I’m leaving him.

It’s like…without totally realizing it I was using him an a conduit to deal with my stress. But the thing is, it wasn’t healthy. Couldn’t have been. I was getting angry. And I was angry at him. But actually. In real life.

Anger that is undue and unjust. He already doesn’t deserve to have a bad mood taken out on him. No one does. That’s wrong.

Do we have some issues? Sure. We’re not a perfect couple. We do things that annoy each other. And my stress over my life situation has exacerbated these issues for both of us. I can admit I have not been pleasant lately. But this “coping” is actively making it worse. And to no fault of his.

But whyyyyy? I was making myself angry. So why keep doing it?

Control.

Validation and control.

Two things I feel like I strongly lack right now.

In every scenario I felt personally validated in my decision to leave and was exerting my control by leaving. By ending it. By making a concise and tangible decision.

Another issue I struggle with. Decision-making. Now we’re not talking Chidi from The Good Place levels. Dearly no.

But I let my anxiety get the better of me. I let it cripple me. Fight, flight, freeze, and flow? I freeze and do nothing and accept the looming anxiety because I’ve learned to feel safe so long as I know what to expect the next day.

I think in the working world this is also referred to as being strongly risk-averse. And I would agree. It’s something I need to more strongly acknowledge and work on.

Is this coping mechanism right or fair to anyone, myself included? No. And I should stop. And I will. Tonight’s just been a bad night. And this is a bad habit coming from a bad night adding bad stress to my currently bad mindset.

Has writing this down made me feel better?

Mildly. Sure.

#personal shit #dnrb pls #not looking for advice #just working through my shit

[kpop-zone]

Dating High School Blackpink

Jisoo

The valedictorian

She’s by far the most ambitious girl in school

All the high school drama couldn’t be more unimportant to her

She’s only focused on her studies

And on making her report card look better by joining strategically clever extracurriculars

She only keeps a small number of friends really close

Although she still treats the other students politely and helps them out wherever she can (resulting in her being the class president every year)

But she never really lets any of them close

That’s why you were really surprised when you learned that you had caught her attention

You had been in love with her ever since you started high school

But you had never dared to talk to her because she’s not so lowkey scary

There had been countless others who had tried to woo her

Because despite being a huge nerd, her beauty and unapproachability intrigued everyone

No one ever had a chance with her though

She simply ignored their advances or politely turned them down

So you didn’t even bother to talk with her

But one day in class, she came to talk with you

Your teacher had told you to find a partner for your final project

And suddenly Jisoo popped up in front of you

“Do you want to be my partner?”

Her question had totally caught you off guard and you stared at her with an open mouth

After embarrassing yourself for another painful minute, you eventually managed to shake off your trance and accepted her offer by simply nodding your head

“Ok, great. Meet me in the library after your classes end.”

Without awaiting your answer, she walked away but you wouldn’t have dared to disagree with her anyways

Therefore, you nervously made your way to the library after your classes had ended

Jisoo was already sitting at one of the tables, waiting for you with her school supplies neatly placed in front of her

She didn’t waste any time before starting with your project

Although she seemed to be trailing off several times while you were working

“He was involved with the Medici. They are from Italy. Do you like Italian food?”

You hadn’t expected her to ask you such personal questions, but you didn’t question her method and answered everything without hesitation

It wasn’t until two weeks later that you just weren’t able to ignore Jisoo’s weird behavior any longer

You had wondered right from the start why she had asked you for daily meetings although she seemed to know everything about the project already

Your confusion reached its peak on your last meeting one day before the deadline

Jisoo was completely out of it, fidgeting about on her chair and rambling about random things

“Are you ok? Are you nervous because of the project?”

You asked concerned but Jisoo immediately shook her head

“No, we’ll get an A. Do you want to go on a date with me?”

She blurted out, managing to catch you completely off guard

But you couldn’t say that you didn’t find her straightforwardness extremely attractive

Therefore, you -of course- said yes

The two of you agreed that she would pick you up at seven the same day

She ended up arriving five minutes early at your house and introduced herself to your parents (because she’s a classy girl), managing to woo them in a matter of seconds

After you had left your house, she managed to surprise you another time

You had thought that she would go with a safe choice -having dinner or watching a movie- but instead, she took you stargazing and prepared a fancy picknick with homemade food

And you fell for her even harder, so you didn’t hesitate when she asked you for a second date...and then a third and then a fourth...

On your fourth date she finally confessed to you that she had been in love with you forever

But just like you, she had been too shy to tell you

When the teacher had asked you to pick a partner though, she had decided to grab the chance

So she had used the two weeks that you had to work together to find out more about you and to plan the perfect dates (which she had clearly nailed)

You were completely enraptured by her confession

Therefore, you didn’t even need to think when she asked you to make your relationship official

And ever since, you are a dream team

You are a well-balanced couple

Although Jisoo is still very focused on her studies, she never neglects you

She always makes sure to have enough time for you and never stops being the most charming person on earth

Even though you are already hers, she still takes you on fancy dates and flirts with you as if she still needed to woo you

“Excuse me? Have we met before? I feel like I’ve seen your face before... Oh yeah, I remember now. It was in the dictionary next to the word ‘gorgeous’!”

She will hit you with pick up lines like that out of the blue

You always roll your eyes because of her cheesiness but secretly, you enjoy it

Jisoo also helps you to study

You had never been a terrible student, but sometimes you lack motivation

Your girlfriend has plenty of ways to motivate you though

“I will give you a kiss for every exercise that you solve correctly.”

So, since you started dating Jisoo, your grades had gotten exponentially better

In return for your girlfriend’s assistance, you help her to ease up a bit

You force her to accompany you to parties and to go out with her friends more often

She always whines, but in the end, she’s grateful that you managed to lure her out of her room

Everyone else is jealous of your perfect relationship

Never had the two of you ever been caught fighting

You even got voted first in the category ‘Couple who’s most likely to get married first’ in the yearbook

Because you just look right together

Although Jisoo isn’t a big fan of PDA and at most, allows you to hold her hand in public, the two of you still manage to cause some agitated whispers every time you walk through the hallways together

Everyone simply wants to know how you managed to woo her

But just like Jisoo doesn’t care about the rumors about others, she doesn’t care about the rumors about herself either

She’s perfectly content with everything that she has

And you are perfectly content with everything that you have too

Jennie

The rich girl

She’s by far the most popular girl in school

Everyone who’s befriended with her is considered a cool kid

Her clique frequently makes the hallways its catwalk

Because all her friends manage to significantly upgrade their school uniforms with expensive accessories

Especially Jennie looks like she stepped right out of Gossip Girl

Her look is usually completed by a headband, a shiny brooch, and the newest Chanel bag

The moment she steps out of her family’s Porsche in the morning, the head of every single person in the school turns around

There are only two kinds of people on the planet: people who want to be like her and people who want to be with her

You belong to the second kind

Ever since you had first spotted her, you were head over heels in love with her

But of course, you had never dared to talk with her, because you weren’t considered a cool kid

You just stole secret glances at her like all the other lovesick fools at school

Until the goddess of destiny decided to let you find a grain of corn one day

You had agreed with your friends that you would meet in the stadium to watch the soccer match of your school team together

As usual, however, they texted you shortly beforehand that they would be late

So you ended up sitting all by yourself in the stands, grumpily waiting for your friends to keep you company

Just when you thought that you had to be the unluckiest person on earth though, everything turned to the better

“Are you all by yourself?”

You instantly recognized her voice and whipped your head to the side in lightning speed

Jennie was standing next to you with her friends lining up behind her

You were so shocked that she had noticed you that you weren’t able to utter a single word

But Jennie didn’t seem to mind

“I wanna sit here, guys.”

She said to her friends over her shoulder who sat down obediently

“Hi, I’m Jennie. What’s your name?”

She flashed you the most beautiful smile that you had ever seen, making you blush profusely, but this time you were quick to respond to her question to stop making a fool of yourself

“Y/N!”

You blurted out breathlessly and Jennie’s smile grew even bigger

“Nice to meet you, Y/N! Here, cheer with us!”

She pressed a banner and some pom poms that her friends had brought into your hands before starting to cheer for your school team

You were still completely dumbfounded by the fact that the Jennie Kim was sitting next to you right now, but didn’t dare to disobey her wish

So you started cheering for your team too, causing her to grin at you happily

Till your friends finally decided to appear, you were almost feeling like a part of Jennie’s friend group

She had made sure to introduce you to the others and to incorporate you into their conversations

And to your surprise they were actually a lot more approachable than you had thought

If you were honest, they seemed to be fairly normal teenagers

(except when they asked you if you would also attend fashion week next month)

The evening flew by and when it was time to go home, sadness overcame you because you were sure that you would never talk to them again

But everything came differently the next day at school

“Y/N! Come here! Sit with us!”

As soon as Jennie had seen you entering the cafeteria, she waved you and your friends over

Perplexed, you stared at her, but your friends pushed you into her direction

Everyone in the cafeteria stared at you as you made your way over to the cool kids and started to whisper behind your back

But Jennie didn’t pay attention to anyone but you

She patted the seat right beside her and continued to eat as if it were just a normal lunch break

From that day on, your friends and you had fixed seats at the table of the cool kids

They always waved you over during lunch break

And also started chatting with you when you ran into each other in the hallways like you had always belonged to them

Especially Jennie always seemed to make an effort to see you as often as possible

You didn’t really think much of it at first

Until your friends couldn’t take your obliviousness anymore and told you that Jennie was having a crush on you

You laughed at their ridiculousness, but in the following weeks you noticed that Jennie truly always acted a bit shy around you

You began to doubt your certainty that the Jennie Kim could never be in love with you, and you became a nervous mess around her too

(It was pure torture to watch the two of you for everyone else)

So your friends hyped you up until you finally had enough courage and asked her out for homecoming

You had never seen a happier person in your life before

Jennie smiled with her whole face and instantly agreed

The two of you became the talk of the night

But once again, Jennie only had eyes for you

She even fled the coronation of the homecoming queen

Because she didn’t want to dance with anyone else

So the two of you stole away and talked on the stairs in front of the school instead

You talked all night until more and more students left the dance and you figured that it was time to bring Jennie home

But before you could stand up, she stopped you

“Wait, there’s actually something I wanted to do before we leave.”

Expectantly, you looked at her and to your surprise Jennie suddenly leaned in

Your lips met and you completely froze until she pulled away when someone bolted out of the door behind you

You stared at her in complete shock, but Jennie just smiled at you

“Ok, we can go now.”

She held out her hand to you and you took it speechlessly

Together you made your way back home with your fingers intertwined

When you looked to the side, you could see that Jennie was still grinning from ear to ear and you started to ease up

Like two Cheshire cats you walked through the city, giggling sheepishly every now and then when your eyes met

And you were sure that you had to be the happiest person on the planet

Ever since that night Jennie and you are a couple

And you are allowed to see more and more of her world, realizing that people just had way too much fantasy

Not even half of the rumors that circulate about her and her friends are true

Jennie is not at all that scary, arrogant rich girl that everyone always makes her out to be

She’s just a normal teenager who tries to survive high school

Everyone had just put her in a box, because of her family’s money

She doesn’t think that she’s superior to others because of her family’s money at all though

Although you do have to stop her sometimes from spoiling you too much

Because whenever she sees something that she thinks you could like, she simply buys it

And when you’re getting food together, she always wants to pay

But you convinced her at one point to alternate because you want to spoil her too from time to time

Although she doesn’t really want you to spend a lot of money on her

“If you want to spoil me, then give me endless cuddles.”

She usually says and who were you to disagree?

Generally, Jennie is someone who isn’t too shy to show her love for you publicly

She always makes sure to keep you close by her side

As soon as you are together, your bodies are attached to each other in some way

Either your girlfriend will hold your hand, interlink your arms, place her hand on your leg or sit in your lap

Your friends always tease you about it when you go out together

But Jennie couldn’t care less

She loves you with all her heart and she wants everyone to know that you’re hers

Chaeyoung

The choir girl

She’s a sweetheart

Everyone knows her

And everyone loves her

Because she’s in a billion different clubs at school (she can’t say no...)

Cheerleading, prom committee, glee club, choir, creative writing club...

But her only real passion is music

In 99% of the cases when she’s not in class, she can be found in the choir room

Usually, she just strums away on a guitar or plays piano

Often she leaves the window open and her beautiful voice mesmerizes everyone on the schoolyard

The 1% of the time that she isn’t in the choir room, she can be found in the cafeteria

All the cafeteria ladies know her by name

And they are all whipped for her

She always gets an extra scoop or sometimes she even gets some special menu

And as her best friend, you enjoy the same benefits as well

You can’t remember a time that you weren’t with her

She’s your best friend ever since you can think

The two of you live in the same street

And grew up playing together

Ever since elementary school you also attend the same schools

So at one point in your live it literally seemed like you were seeing each other 24/7

That’s why you don’t really know when your relationship had changed

It was more of a creeping process

Even as children you liked to pretend that you were a married couple when you were playing

It was also normal for the two of you to hold hands wherever you were going

Therefore, you can’t really tell when you turned from friends to lovers

Neither of you were simply ever interested in anyone else

And when you moved on to middle school together, everyone assumed that you were a couple

And you didn’t bother to correct them

It wasn’t until the end of middle school though that you actually kissed for the first time

You were having one of your many sleepovers

And all the pent-up uncertainty and emotions that both of you had been feeling finally reached their limit

So when you were facing each other on your bed and Chaeyoung’s gaze flickered to your lips, you just leaned in

It was just a short and sweet peck on the lips

But when Chaeyoung giggled happily afterwards, it didn’t fail to make a million butterflies erupt in your stomach

And you knew that this definitely would not be the last time

Since then you are officially a couple

Although you actually spend less time together ever since you transferred to high school

Because both of you have quite busy schedules

That did not change the importance that you have in each other’s lives though

Chaeyoung is still the first person that you tell every important and not so important thing in your life and vice versa

And both of you are still completely uninterested in anyone else

Although there are of course a lot of jocks who want to woo Chaeyoung because she’s the captain of the cheerleading squad

But she is always quick to turn everyone down

Managing to break a lot of hearts in the process

Because she’s very bad at hiding the disgust in her face whenever someone flirts with her

So you usually laugh away all the advances of her admirers

Plus, most students know that the two of you are dating anyways

After all, you are one of those annoyingly cute couples

You have lunch together every day and wait for each other after school to walk home together

Chaeyoung also holds your hand at all times or interlinks your arms

So sometimes it seems like the two of you are magnets

And someone who doesn’t know you would probably think that you had just fallen in love

Because everyone can see that you’re completely crazy about each other

Especially when your girlfriend surprises you with small, sweet gestures

When you have a test, for example, she always makes sure to slip your favorite snack into your backpack

Or she leaves random cute notes in your locker when you have different classes all day long

In return, you always visit her at the choir room to bring her snacks when she forgets time once again

Often, you also study there instead of in the library, because you can never get enough of your girlfriend’s voice

That’s also why you would never miss one of her performances

No matter whether it’s a singing, dancing or reciting performance

You are her biggest fan

Although Chaeyoung always gets really shy when you praise her afterwards

But of course, you end up praising her even more, just to see her blush

When the two of you are not at school, you usually like to hang out at one of your houses

Often you have “study dates” which are not really used for studying though

You always plan to study, but end up doing other things instead

The longest time you had ever managed to stay focused was 15 minutes

It’s just too distractive for the two of you to be in one room

Usually you end up talking or making out all day long

So sometimes you don’t even bother to bring your books when you go to Chaeyoung’s house

Why should you study if you could have a picnic with your girlfriend and her cute puppy instead or watch some stupid variety show together?

Most of the time your procrastination isn’t too harmful for your report cards either

So neither of you feels too bad for not doing what you were supposed to

After all, time that you spent together is never wasted

Because even after all these years, you could never get bored of each other

Every moment that you spend together is special

Lalisa

The troublemaker

The moment that you had met Lisa for the first time, you knew that she would turn your life upside down

She is not your average high school student

She is just there to have a good time

Theoretically, she is smart and talented enough to join countless clubs (like the Foreign Language Club)

But practically, that’s too much work for her

The same applies to sports clubs

It takes no genius to see that she’s athletic as hell

But she doesn’t like the pack behavior that comes with those clubs

The only activity that she had ever tried was cheerleading because dancing is her passion

But it was way too restrictive for her

She hated following the lame choreographies of her coach

Plus, there had been too much drama for her with the other girls

Many of them had been jealous because they couldn’t keep up with her

So, Lisa simply left the squad again

She just wants to get through school without any stress or drama

Although she unfortunately has the talent to frequently get herself in quite a lot of trouble

Her favorite offense is to fall asleep during her classes

And one of her gravest ones is accidentally blowing up the chemistry lab

She never means to cause trouble

But the frequency of her accidents has earned her a reputation as troublemaker

Therefore, it is no surprise that the two of you had met in detention for the first time

Your teacher had guided you to the gym where Lisa was already waiting

She had instantly caught your eye although she seemed to be a be a bit shy

“Lisa! Nice to see you here...again. You know the drill. Everything needs to be squeaky clean.”

Those were the words that the teacher had said before leaving Lisa and you alone

For a few awkward seconds, the two of you just stole sheepish glances at each other

But then Lisa eventually piped up

“What are you here for?”

She asked while grabbing a mop and starting to clean the old, smelly gym

“I punched a guy for stealing a kid’s lunch money.”

You replied casually, causing her to stare at you in surprise for a second

Eventually she managed to recover herself though and nodded impressed

“Dope.”

From that moment, the ice between the two of you was broken

And you started to chat while mopping the floors

The time flew by as you learned more and more about each other

You found that you had more in common than just your inclination to get yourself in trouble

Your taste in music was pretty similar and you could also not argue with Lisa’s choice of absolute must-watch movies

After a while, your punishment didn’t even seem so bad anymore

If you were honest, you were glad to be stuck in your school’s smelly gym right now

Subconsciously, you had even started to clean slower just so that you could spend more time with Lisa

But eventually, your teacher came back to set you free and it was time to part ways

Both of you hesitated to leave though so you figured that you should not forgo this chance

“Maybe we could meet up some day and watch some movies together?”

You asked Lisa as you stepped out of the gym and she looked at you with a wide smile playing on her lips

“I would love that!”

She responded happily and you could feel your heart fluttering in your chest

Quickly, you exchanged phone numbers before saying goodbye

The following days, you didn’t see Lisa at school though to your dismay

She also never texted

And suddenly you started wondering whether she had just given you her number because she didn’t want to be rude

You were already pretty sure of your theory when Lisa finally sent you a message after four days

That’s Lego

Attached to her short message was a picture of a kitten and you laughed because of Lisa’s randomness

But you couldn’t say that her strategy hadn’t worked

The ice was broken again and the two of you texted every day

You also met up at school and hung out between your classes

It seemed like Lisa had just been a bit shy in the beginning

Because now that you knew each other better, you could barely stop her from talking (not that you would have wanted her to anyways)

You also followed through with your plan to have a movie night

Although you didn’t really watch a lot of movies

At first, you got distracted by Lisa’s cats

Then you stumbled upon her impressive collection of photos that she had taken over the years

And finally, she tried to make fresh popcorn, but forgot to put a lid on

So, when you started with the first movie, it was already past 10 pm

Nevertheless, you considered the night a success

Rarely anybody on this planet had ever managed to make you laugh as much as Lisa did

And you loved that she had allowed you to see a part of her world that not everyone could see

Therefore, your first movie night was followed by countless others

You grew closer every time, but you still didn’t really know what the two of you were

So you gathered all your courage and asked Lisa one night

“What...are we?”

You were a little nervous because you didn’t know whether you would like her answer

But Lisa just kept slurping the ramen that she was eating as if you had asked a totally mundane question

“I’m your girlfriend, right?”

She replied nonchalantly while glancing over the pot at you, causing you to chuckle

“Yes. Yes, you are.”

Everything about your relationship simply exudes strong ‘chaotic neutral’ energy

When the two of you are together no one knows what to expect

Maybe you use your time efficiently and build a darkroom for Lisa or have a study marathon

But maybe you also drink 20 shots of espresso each to watch all Harry Potter movies in one sitting

Everyone who knows you thinks that you are a safety hazard together

But for some reason you still work perfectly fine

You’re both chaotic, but in different ways

So you balance each other out

And both of you also have the same goals

You don’t take school too seriously

But you still have big plans for your future, so you always make sure to have a decent report card

And help each other out when you are struggling

Because you believe in each other

You know that Lisa will be the most famous dancer one day

And she would drop everything at any time to help you achieve your dreams as well

Together, you are an unstoppable force

And you know it

#blackpink headcanon #blackpink #jisoo #kim jisoo #jennie #jennie kim #rosé #park chaeyoung #lisa #lalisa manoban #blackpink imagine #girl group headcanon #blackpink x reader #idolxreader #kpop headcanon #kpop

[kanmom51]

Hey in this one which was WOH era so this interview might happend in end of October when song was released.

https://youtu.be/3kQ5gISwe4U

Even if this was meant to be funny , jm was really really hurt by this. Poor baby swallowed hard after announcing the results. Also was really uncomfortable when known thus to about to be done. Rm also kinda scolded jk for this.

But what was the jikook timeline after this particular event??

In 2015 , interview jm chose rm for traveling

In this naver interview jm trolled jk by praising the fan arts he chose but selected the ones next to them.

So yes , there was indeed a shift from jm to jk

I won't call behavior change , he was still the sweetheart he was and hanged out with him.

But I think he made jk known that he's no longer special to him , or stopped cooing on him how he used to do previously without a limit.

Simultaneously jk was being whipped af for jm. Jeonlous fansign event in dope era

In that same naver event jk was staring at jm whole tym.

So do you think this ranking made jm to change his decision or how he put jk before anyone to stop for sometime.

This was also the tym jk was becoming kinda soft with jm end of 2014. So jm might really expected jk will rank him higher coz of these recent events but he was again was placed last so he was Hurt.

Do you think all this together lead to rainday fight which according what been shared jm gave upon jk .

First, I will say that these are my own opinions I am sharing here.

In a nutshell my answer to your question would be an astounding no.

JM was hurt. I mentioned that both in my 2015 timeline and further posts regarding JK's behaviour in 2014-15 and his rankings.

Like I said in those posts, I felt that JM was truly hurt by JK's behaviour, and JK, as far as I could see, didn't understand just how hurtful his actions were. Why he did it is a bit of a mystery, because I believe that by this point in time JK was physically and emotionally attracted to JM.

Was he perpetuating a joke? Was this his way of denying his attraction - to himself, the other members and the outside world? Was JM the easiest to appease later? I really don't know his motivation behind his actions, but they were hurtful.

I don’t think that he wants to hurt Jimin, I don’t even think he was aware just how badly he did hurt him. What is evident to me, in any case, is that at this point he still lacks the empathy and sensitivity towards Jimin and his feelings.  This is something that will develop later on in JK’s behaviour towards him.

It's not that JK thinks JM isn't handsome, he even tells him so on his own birthday. So, it's JK being playful, but not understanding that it's actually hurtful to JM. Not yet.

Did JM's behaviour towards JK totally change after this ranking?

I don't think so.

Did he maybe pull back a bit at times? Yes.

I think JM was struggling himself, by now, with his feelings towards JK, and perhaps that is what made that ranking even more hurtful, even though, again, JK had told him otherwise in the past.

Maybe that was part of the problem, getting mixed signals from JK. "Does he like me, doesn't he like me?" "He looks for my proximity but he also pushes back."

I cannot dream to know what was going on in JM's mind at the time. Did he feel the need to pull back at times because it was too much for him? Did he pull back at times as a counter reaction to JK's hot & cold behaviour? I don't know. But it wasn't a total pull back, that's what I am trying to convey here. JM too had his push and pull moments. Pulling close, then letting go. Giving attention then denying attention, and that could be the case in some of those examples you gave anon.

The radio interview example you gave anon was at the end of June 2015, a few days before the JK acting out perhaps being jealous Yeouido fanmeet on 4th July 2015. This is 6 months after the ranking. Again, this might be JM dealing with his own struggles (his own demons) and not necessarily him trying to teach JK a lesson or pulling back from JK because of JK's behaviour.

The ranking was filmed end of October 2014 released November 2014.

JM didn't pull back away from JK after that. We have plenty of content to show us that he doesn't.

Selfies taken a couple of weeks after the ranking:

MC countdown filmed around 3 weeks after the ranking:

A month after the ranking:

More than a month after the ranking:

A couple of months after the ranking:

Sadly, there is an image limit here. There are many more instances late 2014 to mid 2015 where JM wasn't pulling back. I really don't believe JM shifted his behaviour to a point, as you put it: "made jk known that he's no longer special to him , or stopped cooing on him how he used to do previously without a limit".

My point being that there was not real "JM got cold towards JK" or "JM pulled back from JK". The whole narrative of JK fell for JM because JM pulled back, it's just not true.

The way I see it, it was more about JM's inner struggles and not about letting JK know he isn't into him.

#ask #anon #Jikook #kookmin #Jikook late 2014