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honeypirate · 3 years

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Train Ride pt one

Pt two

Aone Takanobu x f!y/n

I’m gonna preface this by saying I’ve only been on one train before and it had row seating like a bus so I’m going off that. I don’t know if it’s right or weird 🤷🏼‍♀️

“Oh!” You turned the corner in the hallway and your face smacked right into a big chest. You look up at the boy and smile shyly “I’m so sorry! I didn’t see you there” he looks down at you, shocked, glaring.

He looks angry was your first thought, before you saw in his eyes he was just ... shy. He nods once and grunts as he walks around you with the boys he was with. Another boy looks back at you smirking as they walk away.

“She was cuuuute, Aone” Futakuchi says and Aone just grunts, the tips of his ears pink. “Don’t worry. I’ll make it so you run into her again” he says and Aone glares at him “no.” He says sternly to which Futakuchi just laughs and takes off running back to you.

Aone was close behind, but not close enough.

“Hey! Pretty girl!” You turn and the boy yelling is the smirking boy and he’s running up to you “There you are. What’s your name?” He says with a laugh when he gets to you, you feel the weird energy of him rushing “y/n” you say quick, matching his rushing vibes.

Futakuchi looks over his shoulder before looking back to you with a grin “hey y/n I’m Futakuchi it’s nice to meet you. My big friend, who you ran into, his name’s Aone by the way, anyway he thinks you’re really cute but he’s really shy and he’s gonna be here any second oh hey here he is” his words came out in one breath, in like two seconds, and when the big guy runs up and looks pissed you meet his eye and bust up laughing, making Aone nervous. He furrows his eyebrows and blushes a little but Futakuchi just looks amused. “You boys are crazy” you say while giggling now and digging around in your bag for your notebook and pen.

When you find you you open it and write down your name and number down, adding a little heart before ripping out the page and foldding it. You smile up at Aone as you take his hand and place the paper in it. “Hey handsome. Text me sometime, okay?” You wink at him, loving how he blushes, before glancing over at Futakuchi knowing he’ll probably get slapped or something for that stunt. “I have to go because I’m already late for my own practice. See you boys!” You say before jogging down the hallway to the girls gym.

Aone stares at his hand and the paper, Futakuchi smirks and smacks him on the back “you’re welcome bro” Aone closes his hand softly around the paper before turning to look Futakuchi dead in the eye and just saying “run.”

“Y/n! You’re late!” Your captain calls out as you run in to the locker room to change “I know! I’m sorry. I got held up by the boys vb club but no it’s not what you think” you laugh at their looks. Everyone thought the vb club to be intimidating. To be honest you’ve always noticed Aone but never had the chance to really talk to him so safe to say you were thrilled with how the day has went.

After practice and your shower and change, shoving your stuff in your bag and over your shoulder before walking to the train station with a few team mates. You take different trains but you always enjoy meeting up at the station and walking together.

On the train you sit in the same seat nearest the door, easier to control the creeps next to you and easiest to get out quick. You pop in one headphone to listen to music for the thirty minute ride home.

He barely made his train and his heart beat thumped in his chest as he got on seeing you there, he’s usually on time and never noticed you took the same one. He sits in his usual spot on the other end of the train and pulls out his phone, staring at an empty text with your name in the top recipient line. He types out a quick message and presses send, then immediately regrets it.

“We take the same train” is what the text bar said, you only gave you number to one person recently and your heart beat quickened as you raised your head to look around the car for the blonde boy. You saw the back of his head and his ears giving away his blush. You saved the number in your phone as Aone ♥︎ before texting him back. “Why didn’t you sit next to me?🥺” You watch his ears turn red as your message turns to read, and wait for his response.

He racks his brain for a response. A reason why he didn’t sit next to you. A good reason too, because now as he thinks about it he had a better reason to sit next to you. He was bad at this, he didn’t know how to flirt. What was his move now? He watched the line indicator blink on the screen but couldn’t think of anything to say. He looks up when someone touches his shoulder and sees your beautiful face smiling at him

“is this seat taken?” You ask and point to the empty window seat next to him. “Uhh no” he says quietly and locks his phone putting it in his hoodie pocket as he sits up straighter and turns his legs to the side so you have space to move past him. You look at his long legs, almost touching the seat in front of him still, mentally going through options of ways to climb over them to sit down. You just go for it, you shimmy your leg over, deciding to face him while you do this, but your foot steps on one of his bag straps and you fall into him. Your hands land on his chest and his hands come up catching your hips as you both blush deep shades of red looking at each other for a few shocked seconds. “Sorry” you say at the same time and you push yourself against his chest to get your feet under you again, his hands still soft pressure against your hips as you stare into his eyes for a moment before you move over to the seat the hands on your hips guiding you over softly making sure you won’t fall again. “Thank you.... “ you take a deep breath and say “Wow that could have gone better” you both laugh and he nods in agreement and rubs his sweaty palms against his thighs. You feel grateful you could at least get him to laugh after that experience.

After a few minutes, when your heart rate calmed down and you noticed his blush was almost all gone, you softly bump your shoulder into his and smile when he meets your eyes “hey” you say softly and he looks back at you “hi” he says and you smile as the awkwardness leaves you. You settled into some easy small talk, asking questions about him, telling him about yourself. You told him about the lovely woman who ran the store near your house, who used to babysit you and comes over for every holiday meal and found out you lived near each other. He was quiet but the more you talked to him and told him about yourself it made him more comfortable with you.

He clears his throat “Um. What music do you like? I saw you with uh headphones before?” You hear his how nervous he is, like he’s never talked this much before. You love his voice, it makes you feel special to hear him talk so much. “Mostly (your fav music) but I like a lot of different things too. Do you wanna listen to some?” He nods and you pull out your phone, offering him one ear bud while you put the other in your ear. You played him your top favorite songs and he really enjoyed it, making a mental note of your favorite music and bands so he could look them up later. You spent the rest of the ride in silence just sharing music, every once in a while he’d hold out his hand and you’d hand him your phone to play a song he likes. He blushes every time you add a song he likes to a new playlist you named after him. It was a special moment that you had dreamed about having with someone before.

When you got off the train at the stop that you shared, you shivered against the cold air of the sun going down and realized you forgot your track jacket back in the locker. You hug your arms close to you and rub your hands against your arms to get friction. He looks at you from the corner of his eye for a split second, not giving himself any time to chicken out before he quickly pulls his black hoodie from his body and hands it to you with a grunt.

You watch him take his hoodie off, pulling up his under shirt and exposing his belly and blonde hair below his belly button. Your brain short wires at the sight. When he shoved the hoodie in your hands you blush deep pink before clearing your throat and shyly asking “Are you sure, Aone?” holding it in your hands like something precious. “Yes.” He says back with a nod. You looked so adorable when you were shy, he noticed you blush and that he wanted to make you blush as much as he could.

You smile and slip his sweatshirt over your head, it was still warm with his body head and it sent comforting tingles through your chilly body. He smells like mint with a hint of his natural scent, you smiled as you pushed the hood from your face. “Thank you.” You say and he nods once again. Then an idea hits you.

“Hey Aone?” You say and he hums in response “do you think you could hold my hand? My fingers are freezing and you’re so big and warm and nice?” You say and look up at home with a cute pout. He blushes a deep red and nods before slowly holding his hand out to you. You take it and lace your fingers together “my hand feel so small in your big strong one. Thank you” you smile sweetly up at him and his heart beat skips a few times. For the rest of the walk you rubbed your thumb softly against his, giving him butterflies.

When you mentioned how cute the little silver turtle pin was on his backpack, his eyes lit up as he talked to you about his pet turtle and the first time he saw one as a kid. He was completely adorable you could hardly stand it. You made a mental note of his turtles name and that memory he shared with you, it felt like the most precious information that he rarely shared with anyone. It was like you just opened the door to him and caught a glimpse of the real him. You felt so special. He catches you smiling at him and blushes, getting shy again and looking away. “What?” He says quietly and you chuckle before softly bumping your shoulder into his again and giving his hand a squeeze “I’m just really glad I ran into you today. Literally” you laugh before continuing “I think you are really amazing, Aone.” You blush a little stop walking, pulling him with you “this is my house” (he’s actually three house back he just didn’t notice) he was blushing from your nice words and was honestly sad when your time came to an end, you could see it on his face.

You squeeze his hand again and he looks at your hands together then up in your eyes, squeezing your hand back. “I take the train at six for morning practice, do you?” He nods and you take a step closer to him “do you want to walk together?” He nods again and says “yes.” You slowly, just in case he objects, wrap your arms around his middle, laying your head on his chest as you hug him. He wraps his arms around you gently and grunts, but it sounded ... happy? Like a grunt mixed with a hum. It made you happy anyway. You pull back and look up at him “see you tomorrow ” you quickly stand on your tip toes, hands on his shoulders to pull yourself as far as it takes to kiss his cheek before running into your house, giving a wave at your door before closing it. He waited until you were gone to walk back a few houses awkwardly.

#aone takanobu #aone x y/n #hq aone #aone x reader #aone x you #haikyuu aone

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red-as-mars · 3 years

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Speechless

Saeyoung Choi x F!MC

Word count: 4K+

Summary: In which Saeyoung meets the girl of his dreams... but she thinks he’s a girl.

A beautiful stranger looks at him from afar. Saeyoung noticed her since the moment she came into Jaehee’s cafe, as she unknowingly sat down at the table next to Saeran. His ears captured the melodic tone of her voice after she stood up to order a bubble milk tea and a waffle, just as he did one hour before. Hearing her laughing with Jaehee makes his curiosity spark, but something is stopping him—the emptiness in his stomach is not normal, not after gulping down several milk teas just to keep himself busy. Suddenly the air conditioner of the cafe is not enough. As he is about to run a hand through his hair, a guy sits right in front of him.

Suddenly, he remembers they are not the only ones in the cafe and that he almost, almost, messes up the wig he spent several minutes putting on—with the help of Saeran, much to the latter’s despise. He changes the route of his hand midair and awkwardly moves to grab his bubble tea, just to notice that there is nothing left. He smiles at the guy in front of him to try and erase whatever weird actions he had done as he thought about the stranger. There’s a light blush covering the guy’s cheeks and he can barely make eye contact with him.

“Noona, do you want me to buy you more bubble tea?” asks Yoosung, suddenly appearing by his side. He is way too happy to monetize from his ‘noona’ to notice how distracted Saeyoung is. He nods without truly understanding what the youngest told him, but he doesn’t care. All his energy is being used on trying to focus on the guy in front of him rather than on the pretty stranger, who is back at the table sipping from her drink.

“Saeyoung, I have been a fan of yours for a long time. Your cosplays are so amazing… and you are… so beautiful… I mean, you have set the bar too high! There’s no way I can go out with other girls knowing that you are my ideal type… so… will you be responsible for my singleness?”, says the guy way too fast for Saeyoung to understand him.

It takes him a moment to realize what he has just been told and, as soon as he gets it, he can’t help but furiously blush. No matter how long he has been cosplaying, hearing things like that still makes him uncomfortable, mostly when he knows that the girl they claim to love was born out of his will to mess up with Yoosung. He never thought that a simple joke could get this far—sure, he used a Tripter bot to gain several followers, but who would have thought that he would remain popular with the bot gone?

Just as the guy he was talking to, others had come to see him… her… and they were patiently waiting for their turn while ordering food and drinks. Even though she was against the idea of holding a LOLOL event in her café, Jaehee now seemed happy with the decent amount of customers giving her money while waiting for a chance to talk with pretty Saeyoung. No matter how embarrassed he was with all the attention, he had to act cool as the customers were focused on everything he said. He remembered Yoosung’s motivation before the event started (“Hyung, I am counting on you!”), and that was enough to encourage him to reply.

“Oh my, what are you talking about? There are plenty of girls more beautiful than me out there. I am nothing in comparison,” he replies in a cheerful, slightly playful, tone. Just as Yoosung comes back with his bubble tea, he manages to hear Saeran chuckle. As his attention moves to his twin, he locks eyes with the pretty stranger and his mind goes blank. There’s a light blush spread across the girl’s cheeks and it only makes her look more gorgeous. He knows she heard him when her lips break into a slight smile. He can’t help but wonder what she’s thinking, “but I really appreciate your words! They mean a lot, so thank you for coming to see me!”

He doesn’t really get embarrassed when posing as a girl, but there are some factors making him feel insecure. He can’t help but feel Jaehee slightly judging him as he unconsciously flirts with the guys. Or Saeran smirking as he writes down things to later tease him. Or Yoosung saying ‘noona’ every time he gets a chance just to remember the guys that they are close. Or how the stranger keeps on glancing at him every 2.35 seconds with a curiosity-filled gaze, making feel trail off mid-sentence. His nervousness is a vicious cycle. The more nervous he gets, the more flirty stuff he says while thinking of the stranger, but… as long as he can look at her, he doesn’t mind.

Even if that means being teased for the rest of his life.

______________________________________

Almost two hours later, the café is empty except for the beautiful stranger who remains seated a few tables away from him. As the number of customers decreased, she stopped gazing at him and instead focused herself on the screen of her computer, headphones covering her ears, as she slightly moved her head to the rhythm of the music. There are no more gazes, no more blushes, no more hearts skipping a beat or two—Saeyoung can’t help but feel like he’s missing something, but can’t he be more silly? Missing something he never had.

They are just strangers who happen to be at the same place at the same time. Tomorrow morning, she will have forgotten about him and keep on going with her life. There’s no way they are randomly meeting again in a city as big as Seoul. She must live near the café, but his apartment is on the other side of the city, near the river. Seeing her again would be more like a miracle.

“I didn’t think a lot of people would be interested in this kind of event,” says Jaehee, finally taking a seat next to Saeran after making drinks non-stop for three hours, “but I think I sold more than average.”

“Never underestimate the power of LOLOL!” says Yoosung, as if he didn’t just monetize from other people’s fantasies in the name of his guild.

“...or a wig…,” adds Saeran, drinking from his cup of black tea.

Saeyoung can’t help but glance at the stranger, but she is too busy on her work to hear what they are saying. He feels slightly relieved, as taking down his wig right now would only make things awkward. He doesn’t mind bearing with the itchiness on his scalp as long as he can keep on looking at her, the way she pouts as her fingers stop smashing the keys, the way her brows furrow as she unconsciously licks her lips, the way her eyes shine after blinking several times…

All her actions stop as her phone rings. She quickly picks up the call and a warm feeling invades his stomach as he listens to her voice once more. The warmth quickly goes away as he hears her say “I’ll be there in an hour”, collecting her stuff as she thanks Jaehee for her service. Before she reaches the door, she stops and with her, Saeyoung’s heart. What is she doing? Is she missing something? Or… no, that’s not possible. She turns around, takes a napkin from the counter and leaves the café.

Immediately, Saeyoung smashes himself against the table.

“…are you okay?” says Saeran, although his voice holds anything but worry. At this point in his life, Saeran is used to Saeyoung’s sudden actions so he’s rarely surprised by whatever his twin does. Was he okay? Well, he just missed the opportunity to speak with the prettiest girl he has ever seen… He barely manages to give Saeran a thumbs up.

“Oh no, the girl left some stuff…” says Jaehee, slightly worried. Without thinking about it, Saeyoung stands up and the next thing he knows, he’s standing right in front of the table where the beautiful stranger sat. He ignores the suspicious looks of his friends as he looks at what she left: her transportation card and… one of the banners they made for the event, featuring Saeyoung’s most-liked Instagram post. Surprisingly, his face is surrounded by hearts and he can’t stop his cheeks from burning.

Saeran takes the paper from his hands and looks at it, then at him. “...guess she came to see you.”

“What?! But she didn’t come close to her… him!!!” exclaims Yoosung, looking at the banner with his eyes wide open.

“Maybe she was shy. I mean, it is always intimidating to talk to someone you admire,” shares Jaehee knowingly.

Saeyoung is barely listening to them. His mind is focused on the hearts surrounding his face, triggering the memories of their discreet eye contact, the blush on her face as they looked into each other’s eyes from afar… His heart starts beating like crazy, skipping more than a beat. A sudden wave of adrenaline invades his body as he realizes something.

“So… this pretty girl… actually came… to see… me?” he asks, although he already knows the answer. Listening to the confirmation of his friends is enough to give him back his confidence. He puts on his coat as he takes the transportation card and the banner from Saeran’s hands.

“Wait—where are you going? You better not do something weird to her!” exclaims Jaehee.

“What do you mean weird? She’s not going anywhere without her transportation card, so I’m giving it back to her,” he replies as he storms out of the café. Before crossing the door, he adds “It’s just a girl helping out another girl!”

And he ventures into the coldness of the night.

______________________________________

Although there are a few bus stops near Jaehee’s café, Saeyoung is lucky enough to find her at the nearest stop. She’s waiting there with one hand hidden in the pocket of her coat and the other one holding her phone. As he gets closer, he can clearly see several pictures of him on her screen. He suddenly feels hot as he realizes that she’s looking at the pictures he’s tagged at, most of them from today’s event. He feels some warm weight on his stomach, just as if a cat had fallen asleep on his tummy.

He stands right behind her without moving, carefully thinking about the best way to approach her as he doesn’t want to mess up this opportunity. Just as he gathers enough courage to talk to her, a pair of buses arrive and the beautiful stranger looks up from her phone to get in one. Before she can walk closer to her transportation, Saeyoung quickly puts his hand on her shoulder to stop her from going away. She immediately turns around in surprise, red tainting her cheeks as she locks eyes with him.

“Wait—I mean, uhm, sorry if I startled you,” he slightly laughs, trying to compensate for the awkwardness of his actions, “it’s just that you forgot this at the café.”

He gives her the transportation card and as she is about to thank him, he shows her the banner with his face surrounded by the cutest doodles he has ever seen. The pretty stranger stumbles over her words as her cheeks and ears burn red from embarrassment. Before she can justify herself, the bus closes its doors and begins its journey. Saeyoung is in shock. Did he just make her miss her bus? He begins to apologize, but the stranger laughs it off.

“Don’t worry, there’s another one coming in about… ten minutes, I guess? I just have to wait for it,” she says and Saeyoung can’t help but think that her voice sounds ten thousand better when she is talking to him, “Thank you for bringing it to me. I don’t know what I would have done without it.”

That’s a lie, of course. Saeyoung knows it pretty well. She would have to pay the driver in cash and, maybe tomorrow, buy another one at the nearest convenience store. Nothing bad would have happened if she missed the card—someone else could be using it—and that made him feel worse, after making her miss her bus. Yet here she is, smiling gently at him as if somehow she was glad of having to wait some minutes for the next bus.

“I guess I will wait for you, then. I mean, if you don’t mind,” he manages to suggest calmly, although he is nervous inside, “It is already dark and there are not many people left. I would be preoccupied leaving you here.”

He is not saying the truth, but he is not exactly lying. He is just omitting information to avoid looking like a creeper. I want to talk to you for a little bit longer, is what he actually wants to say, but there’s no way he’s actually saying it. Not without blushing extra hard. When she accepts his company, he just stands by her side, trying hard to focus on what to say and not on how fast his heart is beating. She is the first one to talk, formerly introducing each other. Saeyoung can’t help but keep on repeating her name in his mind, enjoying how each letter combines into making the most pleasing sound he has ever heard.

“I, uh, well- I, ah,” he doesn’t really know how to start talking to her, not when she is looking so endearingly at him, ”I was just wondering why… why didn't you come to take a picture with me… when you were already there…”

The beautiful girl blushes slightly, gazing at her feet.

“I didn’t expect a lot of guys to be there. I thought there would be at least another girl besides you and me, but there wasn’t. Well, except for the owner, I mean,” she admits, playing with her phone in her fingers, “I thought it would be weird to be the only girl approaching you, so I waited until the guys were left to do it, but I got really shy at the end.”

Saeyoung’s heart is beating even faster than before. He can’t believe what he is actually hearing, but even though they just met, he trusts in her words, so his confidence increases.

“Well, you can’t go home without completing your mission, right?” he says while taking her phone away from her fingers and opening the camera. He positions himself beside her and makes a half-heart with his free hand. She looks at him in awe, clearly shocked at his actions, but doesn’t follow him. “Really? You are going to leave my heart waiting? Come on, people are staring at me weirdly.”

And that is enough to make her move. Their fingers faintly touch each other, but that’s enough to send warm waves through his body. He can’t help but wonder if she’s filling it too or if he's just crazy. All his happiness disappears as soon as he sees himself on the screen. He manages to snap the picture before his smile collapses, reminding himself that currently, he’s not yucky Saeyoung, but pretty Saeyoung, and that means the beautiful girl is interested in her, not him. However, there’s something about the glow in her eyes as she thanks him for the picture that makes him decide to ignore it and continue as it is. She asks for her Instagram username before the bus arrives. She’s quick to search herself on his phone, and waves goodbye before the bus departs.

Saeyoung is left alone at the bus station with his phone in his hand, looking at the feed of the girl. Somehow, when he sees her warm smile through her pictures, he doesn’t feel alone anymore.

______________________________________

Saeyoung clicks the notification as soon as it pops into the screen. He contains himself from liking it when he sees her bright smile on the picture and actually refreshes the page waiting for someone to like it before he does it. Once the heart is coloured in red, he goes into the comments and writes the nicest thing he can think of. She’s quick to reply back.

They have been chatting nonstop for a while. They have met a few times, too, but calling it a date is way too much. They were going out not only as friends but as girl friends. Just one girl meeting another girl at the subway station to get lost on the streets of Seoul, walking several miles per day without even noticing. It was just them finding new restaurants to enjoy, going together to get their nails done—and even getting friendship bracelets that they wear all the time. It was like a dream come true… except she still thought he was she.

“Hey, are you even listening?” Saeran’s voice brings him back to the moment. “Of course you aren’t.”

“Yes, I am,” says Saeyoung, although it’s not true. Ever since he met her, he can’t help but keep his phone in his hand, ready to answer her texts, but she hasn’t been pretty active today.

“...you’re thinking about that girl, right?” he asks, although something about his tone tells him that he already knows the answer. “You shouldn’t hide anymore. You have been talking enough to tell her how you’re feeling. The real you, I mean.”

“It’s not easy. I don’t wanna mess this up,” Saeyoung confesses, gazing down. ”Before I do that… I just wanna know if she likes Saeyoung more than Saeyoung!”

“...what are you even saying?”

“I mean, how am I supposed to know if she likes yucky me more than pretty me? I look gorgeous in a dress, the competition is harsh enough!” his cheeks are burning. It is time to change the topic, “Wanna look into that store?”

“...that’s what I told you before…”

They are looking for new clothes for Saeran since Saeyoung accidentally mixed a red t-shirt into his pale clothes. Saeran is surprisingly picky with the clothing he chooses, so after almost two hours of searching into various shops in Hongdae, Saeyoung decided to take him to Apgujeong. So far they have visited three different stores and Saeran has (thankfully) picked some new clothes for him, although he is still searching for a vest.

As soon as they enter, Saeran starts touching the clothes, feeling the materials as he walks. He stops to pick up around three and, as he is about to enter the changing room, he stops. Saeyoung has been watching his twin so far, trying to calm himself down because of the lack of texts from the pretty girl, so he noticed how Saeran glanced at a shirt several times as he was choosing the clothes. Before Saeran can head back to pick it up, Saeyoung is already giving it to him. Saeran thanks him before disappearing behind the curtains.

Now that he is alone, Saeyoung starts walking around the store looking at the clothes. His style differs from Saeran, so many of the clothes are not appealing to him, yet there are some that he wouldn’t mind trying just for the sake of diversifying his style. As pretty Saeyoung, he dresses fashionable and mature; but as himself, as yucky Saeyoung, he wears whatever is clean—or less dirty, depending on whether he did his laundry or not. He can’t help but wonder what kind of guy the beautiful girl likes… or if she even likes guys. Up until now, he hasn’t really gotten information about that. Whenever he tries to find out if she would be interested in him—the real him—, she just changes the subject or answers back with another question.

He doesn’t know when he ended up in the women section, yet there he is. Standing in front of several accessories that he can’t help but think would look incredible on the beautiful girl. Soon he is busy looking at them all, trying to find the best one for her… but he can’t give her that as if it was nothing… maybe if he… bought two… one for her and one for him…

That would be nice.

He settles up for a pair of necklaces. Saeyoung is smart: he knows that if Saeran sees them, he won’t stop bothering him, so he is quick to go to the cashier to pay for them before Saeran comes out of the changing room. Yet as he gets closer to the cashier to pay, his heart stops as soon as he is greeted.

It is her.

The beautiful stranger is here, in front of him, smiling sweetly even though he is looking as terrible as he always does whenever he is not dressed up as a girl. She doesn’t seem to recognize him, but he keeps her head low as he pays for the necklaces. Oh my, he can’t give it to her now that she has seen them. It would be so obvious…

His face is burning red from embarrassment. He can’t believe that out of all the stores she could be working at, he just happened to come into the one… Then it clicks. Hasn’t she been answering lately because she is working?

“Would you like a bag for your necklaces?” her voice brings him back from his thoughts. He tries to hide his emotions by holding his breath. He says ‘no’ with his head, scared that she might recognize his voice even though he always makes sure to keep it higher than usual when he’s talking to her. There’s no way she’s recognizing him… right?

He slightly bows as soon as he pays, deciding to wait outside for Saeran as he might die from embarrassment if he stays close to her. Just as he is about to exit the shop, his phone rings. He waits until he is outside to answer the call.

“Hello?” he says, looking for the keys to his car.

“Saeyoung?” the voice on the other side makes him freeze.

He turns around and, on the other side of the window, there she is. His sun smiling back at him even though she now recognizes him as a liar. He wants to run away as she approaches him, but it is like his feet are stuck to the floor. He can’t move—and maybe he doesn’t want to. There’s something about her smile, the warm look in her eyes, that stops him from running away and hiding in his room for the rest of his life.

She’s now in front of him, but before he can explain himself… she’s hugging him tightly.

“Oh my, thank goodness you’re a guy! I felt really insecure whenever we went out because you’re so gorgeous and everyone looks at you in awe. But with your actual appearance, I can be the pretty one of the duo!”, she says brightly, surprisingly relieved.

Saeyoung is at a loss for words. Maybe, just maybe, a few tears are forming in his eyes. Why is she acting like this when he lied to her?

“...did you just call me ugly?” he says, but as much as he wants to sound offended, he can’t hold back a giggle.

“In comparison to me, yes, of course.” she releases him, and suddenly it feels cold outside.

“Can’t deny you’re beautiful,” he mumbles looking at his feet. They stay quiet for a while before Saeyoung gathers the courage to speak again. “I didn’t mean to hide my identity from you. It’s just that you were so happy with pretty Saeyoung that I didn’t want to ruin it.”

“Well, I enjoy it whenever I am around you. My opinion is not based on your appearance, you know,” she says, “To be honest, I kinda already knew you were a guy, but I didn’t want to mention it as I thought you had a good reason to keep it to yourself.”

Saeyoung meets her gaze, slightly leaning his head to the side. “Then why did you just call me now?”

It is now her turn to look away, her cheeks tainted in red. “You looked as if you were about to have a panic attack. I just wanted to let you know I am here for you. After all, we’re friends.”

“I wish we weren’t… Wait, I, uh, I mean…Gaaah!” he can’t believe he just messed up. “It’s just that… I think you’re… extremely pretty and I, well, you know, maybe I like you?”

He is pathetic and he knows it. She just came up to tell him all this beautiful stuff about accepting himself as he is, and he has to mess up? It’s almost as he subconsciously wants to auto-sabotage himself.

“Just maybe? Because I like you a lot,” she says, getting closer to him.

Suddenly his hands are not empty anymore. They had held hands before, but this time it’s different. It may be the fact that she is right in front of him and not by his side, that their chests are one step away from touching it other… or maybe that her thumbs are tracing circles in his palms, sending an electric sensation through his whole body.

“Saeyoung, I really like you. No matter if you're prettier than me or not,” there’s a playful grin on her face as she says so. He gulps, nervous that she is either being honest or playing with him. “For real, I liked you ever since I saw you, but all this time we have been going out… I think I have fallen for you. Really hard. So, please, if you like me, don’t just say maybe.”

There’s hope both in her voice and in her eyes. He can’t think clear anymore, not when she is this close, telling him something he thought he would never get to hear. He wants to tell her how much he likes her, for how long he has been waiting for this moment… but he can’t.

Not when his body is moving on its own, hugging her waist to pull her closer until their faces are a few inches apart. Not when his head is leaning to the side as he closes the gap between them. Not when his eyes close and he feels the warmth of her lips on his own.

Not when love has made him speechless and the only way to show his feelings is with actions.

#mysme saeyoung #saeyoung x mc #707 #mysme luciel #luciel choi #saeyoung choi #choi saeyoung #choi luciel #mystic messenger #mysme #mysmerbb #mysme reverse big bang

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nose-bandaid · 4 years

Text

Pentagon as Students

trying something new today! i hope you enjoy it, i had a lot of fun writing this:)

~based on the different kinds of people i’ve witnessed at my high school~

=====

JINHO

- that one kid that actually has their shit together

- though on the inside he’s in a constant state of panic

- knows (and meets) all the deadlines and works when he’s supposed to

- but he’s secretly watching his classmates goof around at the same time

- hands in perfect projects, does well on tests, gets good grades,,, others are jealous of him

- probably had the homework done 3 days before it was assigned tbh

- teachers love to have him in their class

- and it’s totally not because they sometimes rely on him to help keep track of important dates

- when he does make a mistake though, he’ll get clowned for it for the rest of the year

- but that’s just cause people are happy he’s not good at EVERYTHING

- and even though he seems like a teacher’s pet, he always does his class a solid and never reminds the teacher of the homework they had

- makes good study notes and people end up leeching off of him cause he can’t say no

- never brings food to class but always steals some from others

- so if your bag of chips is suddenly empty, you know why

- was a bus monitor when he was in elementary school and is still damn proud of it, mentions it whenever he has the opportunity to

- people know him, but he doesn’t know them so he’s always like ??? when random people keep on saying hi to him

HUI

- loud. what else can i say?

- raises his hand at almost everything just to ask the teacher a lot of questionable things

- but once in a while he comes up with a really good question that shocks everyone so we take our chances and listen to him

- doesn’t sit on his seat properly but that’s ok because honestly who does?

- he falls off the chair every other day though, so some teachers are concerned of this habit of his

- delivers some of the BEST presentations

- like the kinds of presentations that are good because everyone is excited to see what that person has to offer this time

- when the teacher walks in, he’s that one kid who asks them how they’ve been so that he can delay class

- likes to make conversations with the teacher on unrelated topics when he’s supposed to be working

- always manages to get the teacher really involved in their conversation though, so they don’t even notice that he’s not working

- is distracted like 70% of the time but tries his best

- hands his work in at the absolute last minute

- like if it’s due at midnight, it’s coming in at 11:59 pm

- can be found in almost every single club and no one knows how he manages to do it

HONGSEOK

- we already know that he’s the sporty kid like that’s a given

- is a part of pretty much all the school teams so he’s constantly leaving class to go to tournaments and whatnot

- teachers are so used to him being absent that sometimes they forget he’s even in their class

- the one who offers to carry things whenever the teacher says they need help

- holds the door open to look cool

- he’s never seen studying but he always comes out of tests with a pretty decent grade

- no one knows if it’s actually because he’s big brained or if it’s because he’s really lucky

- sleeps during first period, eats his lunch during the period right after lunchtime

- defends his actions with the fact that he’s busy with his clubs but he was probably just walking around school doing random shit during lunchtime

- the kind of person who would jump to tap the ceiling or the top of a doorframe just to “casually” flex

- doesn’t change out of his sport clothes half the time to once again, “casually” flex

- everyone in the school knows him for a very wide range of reasons

E’DAWN

- the quiet yet loud kid

- would just sit there (not doing his work) being an unbothered king for most of the time

- but when it’s his time to shine oH boy

- everyone has to brace themselves cause they know they’re in for a hell of a ride

- no one knows what to expect when it comes to his presentations

- one time it ended up with Hui duct taped to the wall along with five broken chairs and an angry janitor

- shouts randomly along with hui

- would say some of the oddest things when the teacher asks a question

- on his phone listening to music for the entirety of class, the headphones never come out, even if you’re talking to him

- when the teacher walks by he always has to rush to close/switch his tabs

- is a boss at that move though, and the teachers never suspect him

- asks to go to the bathroom but just takes a walk around the school instead

- makes a funny face every time he passes by a class with his friends in it

- if you walk down the halls during lunch, you might find him sleeping in a little hiding spot in the hallways

- if not, he’s probably running around outside creating a scene

SHINWON

- known for being the embodiment of chaos in classrooms, so classes are always 10x better when he’s in it

- borrows notes from jinho the most

- will copy your homework in the morning if he didn’t do it the night before

- and will proceed to get a higher mark than you, despite writing the exact same thing

- he actually does his work and hands in it on time for the most part, but no one seems to pay attention to that fact

- sits with his chair facing the opposite way if you can imagine what i’m getting at here lol

- really good at sneaking snacks into class but he always chews too loudly so all his efforts end up going to waste when the teacher finds out

- takes long bathroom breaks and no one knows what he’s even doing in there, or if he even went to the bathroom in the first place

- he’s always seen with delivered take out during lunch and people get jealous cause they want to eat fast food too

- has to fend off the hoard of kids that come his way and is pretty good at it by now

- cause he has to save the fries for when he needs to bribe jinho for notes again

- the one that keeps on standing up during class and walking around to bother people

- like he literally just stands up at random times and walks up to someone on the other side of the room and strikes a conversation that’s completely unrelated to the class

- no one knows what motivates him to do that and he just keeps on standing up no matter how many times he’s sent back to his seat

YEO ONE

- minds his own business, is in his own world

- watches the others along with jinho and tries to not be involved in their shenanigans

- always ends up involved in their shenanigans

- is oddly chaotic, new people would be shocked when they see how chaotic he could be, but everyone else is used to it by now

- has a fat crush that his whole friend group knows about

- and now they all feel obligated to get them together so they’re always nagging him

- on that note, a bunch of people fall for him but he’s just too oblivious to notice

- i know this is oddly specific but he actually washes his hands for the correct length of time

- student body president because everyone loves him, does his job very well

- especially with school spirit !! participates fully in those, and tries his best to convince others to join in as well

- buys food from the cafeteria religiously even though the food’s a little subpar

- “i need to support this school in every way i can”

- has a part time job, people strive to be hardworking like him

- honestly this guy’s pretty neutral, he just exists and makes the world better with his presence it’s as simple as that:)

YANAN

- corner seat kind of guy, so that he can sneak in naps and just be hidden in general

- doesn’t speak unless called on

- listens to EVERY single thing being said around him, so he’s loaded with gossip

- has blackmail, will use it

- like he films people when they’re presenting,,, what is he going to do with that video? we do not know

- always bringing his coat into class, no matter how bulky it is, and just doesn’t use his locker at all

- but he has all of his friends’ locker codes saved on his phone for some reason

- eats his lunch at the wrong time too, but unlike the others (who just go with a full 3 course meal during class), he scarfs it down within 10 seconds and moves on like nothing happened

- emits soft boy energy but people fear him

- class is always hyped when it’s his turn to go up to the board and no one really knows why, that’s just how it works

- maybe it’s because his personality and confidence just skYROCKETS and everyone loves seeing that side of him

- the whole class just hypes him up on a daily basis by now

- doesn’t share anything with the others no matter how much they beg, whether it’d be for notes, tools, or food

- “snitches get stitches, bitch”

- “you know that’s not the correct saying right?”

- “i said what i said.”

YUTO

- always takes the seat near the back

- not necessarily because he’s emo (though part of it is because he is emo) but also because he is a modest boy™

- tosses a ball back and forth with his friends in the locker bays during his free time, ultimately posing as a threat to the rest of the student body

- has almost hit a teacher by accident once with a baseball, but we overlook that event

- silently rages during every single competition (especially when he falls down the rankings in Kahoot!) but hides it well

- he holds the reputation as a student who does their work when they’re supposed to, but one time you walked by his laptop and he was watching anime so now you’re not so sure

- once thought that a project was due a week before the actual due date

- had a small breakdown but was able to get over it

- he had many other close calls though, so he relies on kino or jinho to keep him in check

- has all the school equipment you could possibly need with him at all times

- so people are constantly borrowing things from him

- do they give it back? usually

- but he will get salty and hold grudges with the people who supposedly “lost” his items

- or if they say, use his entire glue stick despite it being brand new when he gave it to them

- if you hear some music down the halls, it’s probably him playing the guitar

- fully reads the club posters on the wall so he’s one of the few people who are actually aware of what’s going on

KINO

- always keeping up with the new trends

- the “i’ll help you with your work! :)” kind of guy

- always answering questions in the group chat i don’t know what the others would do without him

- he gets sad if people don’t reply to his messages properly though

- the only person on jinho’s good list because he’s actually diligent with his work

- goes a full 200% on any project that has any artistic aspect in it, even if it doesn’t count for marks

- is the one who reminds others of the due dates so some people have a love-hate relationship with him

- somehow knows almost everyone in the school

- if you want to walk to class with him, you gotta be prepared to take like 50 stops along the way cause he’s gonna hug everyone he knows and strike a conversation with them

- is popular simply because everyone loves him

- you can find him dancing in the hallway occasionally, probably making tiktoks

- decorates his friends’ lockers on their birthday with pictures of them

- the kid that offers to help the teacher complete tasks almost 100% of the time

- volunteers at the other school nearby to help take care of the little children

- always supporting club events

WOOSEOK

- puts memes in his slideshows (and is very good at finding the perfect meme for every occasion)

- plays games on his phone when the teacher’s talking, somehow doesn’t get called on

- instead like, yuto gets called on for searching something up on his phone

- the kid who constantly yells out random answers (or just yells in general) during Kahoot! to mess other people up

- the kind of student who casually looks over at the person beside him during a test

- defends himself by saying that he just wanted to see how far they were on the test

- has a tough time during locker clean out because there were just too many things in there

- at one point there was an ant infestation after he accidentally left his lunch there overnight, but he took care of that quietly and doesn’t mention it ever again

- asks obvious questions into the group chat and tries to argue his point only to figure out where he went wrong after reflecting on his messages

- random shouter number 3

- him, hui, and e’dawn can sometimes be seen after school trying to summon their very late school bus with their screams

- it never worked though, unfortunately

- runs a business where people pay him to go to the store nearby and buy snacks for them

- he actually makes quite a bit from it

=====

quick disclaimer: ofc i think the boys would've been good students at school so this is just something written based on the chaotic energy i’ve watched them emit throughout my time stanning them:) this is just for entertainment purposes!

~ tiny

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dreamydarkblue · 3 years

Text

bus stop and wishes

| randomscenarios |

rating: T

word count: 1850

tagging: @lasswithumor @ravenadottir

notes: so, sleeping is such a vulnerable thing to do next to someone. your body takes over and you don't know what kind of embarrassing thing you are gonna do but choosing to do that, at least in my books, is such a great way of showing trust. and to choose doing it in a public place, kind of showing the other person that you trust them to protect you from the world. that feels amazing and i wanted to convey that through my words, hopefully i succeeded at it. for the music suggestion level up by sigrid.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The bus stop was crowded as usual, the afternoon traffic was very loud. So many cars, long long roads, so many people trying to get somewhere. As hectic as it was, you were used to it and it didn't disturb you anymore. You kind of looked forward to it after a long day of school. It wasn't really understandable how you would miss this much noise during the day but there was one more thing that made you excited for it.

Your friend and you used the same bus and this particular friend of yours was very much becoming a crush. Not that you would ever say that to them but still, it was exciting for now at least. You would deal with the frustration and heartbreak later.

You walked through the crowd on the overpass, you wondered everyday how it continued to hold up with this much people on it. You don't know what kind of magic the builders used but it must have been pretty good. You went down the stairs and walked towards the bus stop. Why did you get nervous every time, you just walked up to them, waved a hand, they smiled at you and that was it.

You would get on the same bus but you never got around to sitting next to them. That was asking for embarrassment at that point if you did that. Still it was nice daydreaming about it, looking out the dirty bus window. Why were they always this dirty, did no one clean them? Well, you were sure the drivers were left to deal with it and they had enough work, so you couldn't really blame them. This bus’s driver was a single dad, you learned that when he needed someone to look after his child, as he needed to work an extra gig for that month's rent.

The child was so sweet, you remembered how they wanted to share their meal with you even though you told them that you weren't hungry at least five times. That day was one of the better ones from this year. As you looked at the child sleeping peacefully, their head in your lap and them under a soft blanket, you felt content and happy that you decided to help the driver that day. Every now and then you would bring them something you baked, it was so lovely, the way that the child's dimples showed themselves every single time.

For that busy of a bus stop, the bus you went on was very peaceful, probably because of its route. It was very long, had very few stops and most of the time, you would be late to anything you wanted to be on time for. But you didn't have anything planned for the most part and you liked the thought of them seeing you everyday.

You would put your bag on the seat next to you, considering most of the seats would be empty. Maybe some day, they would sit next to you, so you would have to take your bag onto your lap. Your wants from life were weird and very specific but you never understood the vague wants anyway. Those kinds were very tricky and easy to manipulate, you learned that very early on as you watched many genie related cartoons.

You were fascinated with the idea of them, you had your own lamp to rub on. Every night, you would rub it three times and wish for your parents to be more happy. You didn't realize without the specifics of it, it could mean very different things. You still remember how they became so happy, so fast in a few days. And then the illusion faded away and the act got tiring. At least you had your little sister, you were as close as one could get. Sure, it put a weight on your shoulders you didn't ask for, but it was nice knowing that you were useful for something at least.

You dared to let your eyes wander to their side of the bus, and found them with headphones on their head, looking down at their phone. They loved their phone, smiled at it a few times during the road. Was this creepy?

Yes, very much so, stop it.

You returned to look out the window, so many cars, the traffic was very busy today, more than usual which was really something. How was it possible getting more busy, you didn't know that. You let out a long, draggy sigh. Maybe you should have taken the other bus, it's not like they were going to notice you any of these days. If you were a bit more brave, maybe everything would have been perfect. You guys would talk and, maybe they would even like you.

No, don't be dumb please. That was very much against the odds. You didn't have anything exciting to make them excited, and don't you even get started on the looks department. It was just a fun thing to think about and dream. For a second to think that you could be loved back, and it wouldn't hurt like everything.

A rustling noise of clothes, you turned away from the window to find them in the seat in front of you.

What? When did they even...?

You looked at their sneakers, they must have been brand new. The whites of it were pristine clean, which was a really hard thing to accomplish if they weren't new. You realized that you were being rude staring at their shoes, so you looked up at them.

A warm look in their eyes, and an even warmer smile on their lips. You were going to say something when you remembered that they were still listening to their headphones.

You knew their inability to speak from the time you saw them talking with their friends. They never voiced their opinion but from the looks of it they could understand what the others were saying. And when they did say something, they used their hands. From that day on, you started taking sign language lessons, it was needed even if you didn't talk with them. Honestly, you wondered that day why you didn't take it before.

They realized you looking at them but not really seeing. They waved a hand and you returned to the bus.

You have embarrassed yourself in front of them, great, this was exactly the impression you wanted to leave.

You finally reacted and smiled sheepishly, they wrote on their phone and showed it to you, "Are you okay?".

"I am, sorry for the staring. I gaze out like that sometimes" you signed at them.

They were really surprised to find that out, eyes wide open and brows high up on their face. You giggled and said, "If you are comfortable with signing, we can do that."

"I didn't think you would know how to sign but i am happy to find out that you do.", they said. You got really embarrassed and flushed, knowing the context behind it. But you said, "Well, i am happy that i can too. It was hard at first but it was fun learning it.".

"I am really relieved now because i was nervous to come up to you. I thought you would get tired writing back and forth when i was in front of you but this makes it so much easier."

"To be honest, I wouldn't get tired from that either but this is nicer.", you said with a huge smile, your cheeks hurting.

Turns out, your wishes weren't messed with and you got the genie from Aladdin. For the next couple of days you talked at the bus stop, in the bus, at school, when you were home. Your late night texting was something you grew accustomed to. They were really fun to talk to, and your before little crush was now a big one. Did they realize it?

Hopefully not, you enjoyed being friends and you did not wish to mess that up.

Today the bus stop was calmer, it was surprising. Then you remembered the time, it was past seven so the commotion has calmed down. The math teacher had an extra lesson to get ready for the exam season, a very long lesson it was. Nonetheless you were happy that it ended, looking forward to getting home and sleeping like you were going into hibernation. You didn't expect to find them here. It was a welcome surprise, you liked their presence. You waved a hand and said "Hi!".

They looked tired, eyes almost closing and head lulling back, hitting the clear wall of the stop. They smiled lazily and waved a hand back. You stood next to them and waited for the bus.

When you got on it and sat at your usual spot, they sat next to you. With your bag on your lap, eyes casting a glance at their way. No matter the closeness of your guys' relationship, they never sat next to you. And this time was probably because of drowsiness, nothing special.

Don't start getting any ideas, keep your friend and stop acting weird.

Their eyes started closing after ten minutes or so, head dropping to the side. To the side you were on. To your shoulder.

Their head was on your shoulder... And they were sleeping peacefully... So peacefully, so beautiful. How were they so gorgeous? Maybe not everyone would think the same but there was no denying the pull. The pull of their energy, their warmness radiating from them. They made everyone so comfortable and relaxed, maybe they used the same magic the overpass builders used.

It felt so nice, their body turned towards yours just a slight bit, as if they were comfortable and open with you. It felt so nice knowing they trusted you enough to sleep next to you. Maybe all those hours wasted between the bus stop and your home did matter.

And then the bus stopped abruptly and they woke up. Realizing that they slept on you, they started apologizing. You assured them softly with your words, it even made you happy but you couldn't tell them that. A slight flush to your cheeks and then the bus started to move again.

They looked at you directly in the eye now, and you did the same. They smiled slowly and looked at your shoulder. Letting their gaze down, slowly putting their head on it once again.

This felt nicer, you thought. A conscious choice from them to lay their head on your shoulder. They chose this, and they were smiling. People smiled when they liked things, right? So they liked being this close to you, well, you liked it too.

Their hand was lifted from their lap to take yours. Theirs enveloped yours, for the first time after a long period of hope and its crumbles, it didn't lead to heartbreak.

Let it be, enjoy their company, you matter to them. Don't ruin it by your insecurities.

You tightened your hand around theirs, a small gesture but a big step from you.

#bus stop and wishes #randomscenarios #thank you so much for reading #let me know your thoughts if you want to #i think this is not that good but what's wrong with trying at least

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lcnelyinthesky · 3 years

Text

a/n: hehe n e ways heres this

song fic based on bluebird by sara bareilles

pairing: komori motoya x gn!reader

genre: angst, songfic

warnings: komori is emotionally unavailable

word count: 910

Motoya,

Word came through in a letter,

I’m sorry this is how it’s going to end. I wanted to tell you to your face, see those cute hazel eyes of yours one last time, but practice ran longer than I had expected and the sun’s about to set.

One of us changing our minds.

You truly were the kindest person I’ve ever met. I don’t think I could ever deny that fact. Everything you did made me smile in some odd way, from watching you wash the dishes to dancing with you at three in the morning. I loved waking up to the small smirk you slept with more than anything else in this world.

You won't need to guess who, since I usually do,

You radiated this energy. This perfect, happy energy. You had this way of making everyone around you smile with a glee I’d never seen in anyone else, and I admired it to a fault. I thought your ability to make even a big meanie like Kiyoomi feel at home was the most incredible thing anyone had ever done.

Not send letters to me that are mine.

I never thought it’d be your downfall.

I told him I saw this coming,

I felt drawn to you in a way I’d never felt drawn to anyone. You just popped in and I couldn’t look away. I was astounded. I’d never fallen that fast for anyone before.

That I'd practically packed up my things.

I love you. I don’t think I could ever stop loving you. That’s why it's so hard. I’m not ready to let go yet, but I know I need to.

I was glad at the time that I said I was fine but, all honesty knows, I wasn't ready, no.

You don’t seem to have the capacity to love, or to, at least, love me in the way I need you to. Maybe you did at some point, but maybe I was just caught in the whirlwind that was you as a whole.

And so here we go bluebird, back to the sky on your own.

I want nothing more than your happiness, Motoya, and I don’t want that to ever slip past you. I don’t want you to ever doubt my intentions. I just want you to grow and to make someone else as happy as you did me.

Oh let him go bluebird,

So, here I go. Please do cry. Please let yourself feel. Please heal. I assume this won’t be easy for you either.

Ready to fly, you and I, here we go.

Love, y/n. Forever.

Here we go.

You set the letter on the table in the entryway of your shared apartment. He picked up a lot of weird cleanliness habits from his cousin, and the house always smelled slightly of bleach; scent masked, of course, by cinnamon candles.

This pair of wings worn and rusted,

Everything you owned was packed into two medium-sized duffle bags. Pictures were still hung up on the wall, staring you down from five feet above the floor. You inhaled the room one last time, savoring the way everything always smelled warm. It always smelled like home.

From too many years by my side

It’d be a blatant lie to say you were fine, but nothing hurt more than the prospect of staying with him. Than knowing you could be loved better by someone else. He was never cold, he just became more fake. He wasn’t as genuine. In two years, you had never once seen him cry. Not even at the first episode of the 90’s Moomin’s anime.

They can carry me, swear to be,

You left all the memories in that house. You only took what could be of use to you. You only took what you wanted in the next chapter of your life. Everything he ever gifted you was set on your bedside table. Everything you ever explicitly shared with him was left in its place. Everything that reminded you of him was left behind, knowing you wouldn’t need those clothes and candles and movies in your best friend’s apartment across town.

Sturdy and strong but see,

You left your keys next to the letter, folded perfectly with the silver weighing it down. You exhaled on a sigh, closing your eyes for a second as your hand found the doorknob, twisting it and allowing the cold air of fall to spread over your skin.

Turning them on still means goodbye

The sky was dull. Clouds covered every inch. Splotches of grey mingled with the white. You hoped Komori wouldn’t be walking home alone in the rain.

And so here we go bluebird,

There were three steps up to the small, first floor home you shared with Komori. Three concrete steps. Your shoes clicked against them as they had millions of times before, this time heavier with the extra weight you were carrying.

Gather your strength and rise up.

It took about forty seven steps to get to the nearest bus stop. It was grey with purple details. The driver’s name was Akiri. It always was.

Oh let him go bluebird.

As the bus drove, you watched Komori open the door to your home. He must’ve been close behind, but he’ll never know what time you left. You looked forward, leaning your head back and turning up the music in your headphones.

Ready to fly, you and I, here we go.

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kawaiikatanabushi · 4 years

Text

Hakuouki Roadtrip Headcanons

Kondou Isami

-He is definitely primary driver if on the road with the group.

-His boundless patience not only makes him a levelheaded driver, but also ensures no one is getting fussed at for their antics.

-Asks frequently if everyone needs a potty break. Is gently reminded they are adults and the term "potty break" is for children.

-Leaves the snack stocking, fast food order gathering and navigating to Toshi.

-Many recollections and anecdotes accompany his driving. Loves to point out landmarks and beautiful scenery.

Hijikata Toshizo

-As a man who appreciates the solitude and quiet for accomplishing work... stuffing him in a car with the group is emotionally grating and his irritation threshold is low. Snappish in the car. (Repeats that it has nothing to do with motion sickness.)

-Riding shotgun helps him retain his sanity and navigating is a much needed distraction. (And, has nothing to do with motion sickness.)

-When it is his turn to take the wheel, he strives to make as little stops as possible. His overall goal is to retain their minimal funds and make their destination without an extra night's stay.

-Will yell that they just made a stop an hour ago and you should have peed then!

-Every stop requires him getting a coffee. Man hardly eats when on the road. His destination is his focus. He runs on caffeine. (And aspirin.)

Todou Heisuke

-He knows so many car games. Looked up car games just for this trip. Just as his energy makes him the Master Host at parties, he is the Master Entertainer in the car. It's an opportunity to bond with his friends and he is so stoaked for it.

-Only person who doesn't need a power nap. When surrounded by snoozing bodies, he uses the time to talk to Kondou-san and Hijikata-san for some catching up and life advice. Looks forward to this moment just as much as the rest of the trip.

-If no one is interested in a round of Twenty Questions or what have you, he will pull out his Switch. Willing to play alone, but he'd much prefer to Smash with his buddies. Brought extra Joycons. He's also willing to lend it to anyone bored.

-His optimism is never dowsed by any circumstances that arise. If there is a flat, he's willing to get help, call for assistance, or grab a jack. If there is traffic, has ways of entertaining everyone. Willing to dart into a gas station and get snacks. Happy to share fun, food or drink.

-He is also the master of music. Whether it is changing radio stations to playing his spotify playlists for the whole car, he picks the best tunes. He has a roadtrip playlist just for the journey. He collaborated with everyone, just to make sure that no one is left out. Unfortunately, this also exposes him to be griped at after so many songs grind Hijikata-san's nerves. How was he supposed to know there was a limit to Baby Metal songs? Wonders why Souji asked for so many... or, was it the fact that everyone was singing powerballads at the top of their lungs?

Okita Souji

-Speaking of Souji, please entertain this one in the car. He may not have bubbly enthusiastic energy like Heisuke, but this one has a capacity to make serious trouble when cramped into a car and bored. Chaos energy should never be contained without distractions. Everyone knows how unfunny it is to be stuck in a car with a cranky Souji. In order to avoid hair pulling, blame games and relentless button pushing, everyone does their best to keep him conversational if nothing else can be done. Gumny worms are a last resort.

-Thankfully, Souji also has the capability to take three power naps in the car and still arrive at the destination tired. However, no lap or shoulder is safe. Someone will be used as a pillow. If he has opportunity to rest on Chizuru's lap specifically, he will do so. Without permission. Declares it is because she doesn't stink like a man and women are just softer. Grins smugly to himself for the longest while as the car goes silent.

-He will ask "are we there yet?" Several times. He can see it clearly marked on the GPS how many miles they have left. That doesn't matter to him. If he and Heisuke start singing "are we there yet?" it guarantees Hijikata-san will snap and offer him a chance to drive. It's an absolute ploy to snag some Kondou-san time. Plus, it means the Oni can take a power nap. Not that Souji would set that up because he cares or anything. Don't get the wrong idea.

-Some moments he prefers to play games on his phone or take photos of the scenery rushing by. Souji doesn't mind staring out the window and thinking. He can wall himself off for introvert time, even shoved into a car. Headphones in, people out. Neko Atsume ensures no one will ask him questions or request he share the gummy worms. Those are his gummies. Kondou-san bought them.

-Asks for a milkshake at fast food stops. Sees how far he can go until Hijikata-san caves. "I don't want food. I just want a milkshake." (Only shares with Chizuru.)

-He likes to point out funny road signs and city names. So, so many puns with the Baka Trio.

-Souji is secretly a whole lot more excited to travel than he let's on. Plus, this group is his family. He can do a little better than tolerating everyone. He has a captive audience and is content to ride as long as he is included. Given the infectious level of cheer with the Baka Trio in the car, he might even sing along with them or goof off more than usual. He might even find it in himself to be helpful with getting snacks and drinks along the way.

Saito Hajime

-This man was prepared, packed and ready to go before anyone else. He made a checklist of everything he could need and anything that could be overlooked, checked it over three times and helped to pack the car and ensure what would be needed was accessible.

-He rose early to prepare himself and help others be prepared. He helped Souji and Heisuke pack. He took his motion sickness pill and has a large thermos filled with piping hot green tea. He also made a thermos with coffee for Hijikata-san (sugary, but black.)

-Saito has his headphones in often, but the volume low in case he is addressed. He may listen to soothing music and read a book on the history of katana. Reading in the car cuts the anxiety of being stuffed in a tin can at high speed with little wiggle room. He is grateful for the moments Souji steps in to block the extroversion chaffing his introvert soul.

-He brought a neck pillow to rest, but if he naps on anyone's shoulder he will apologize profusely. There are less tasks to focus on while riding and because this man works so hard without quite enough sleep, he will doze off. Thankfully, Souji has a pretty cozy shoulder.

-He is glad to step out and stretch his legs during a pit stop. Gases up the car without being asked. He will also wash the windows and Hijikata-san has to gently stop him from washing the entire car. Requests to drive through a car wash at the earliest convenience. Cuts a glare at Souji when he says he likes the mud. If Chizuru goes in to use the restroom, he will escort her. She needs protecc.

-Happiest when there is a beautiful rainbow or a lovely sunset on the horizon to admire.

Nagakura Shinpachi

-"Hey, do we have any snacks?" The main reason they have snacks is to keep him fed.

-This is the guy who sees the museum billboards or natural formations and requests they stop and take a look. Grumbles when the Vice Commander reminds him their budget is already tight, or they would have flown. They reach a middle ground once Hijikata-san promises they can see a museum once they get there.

-Will jokingly bemoan that they can't just drink in the car. Sano will give him a light scoff.

-Definitely will play on the Switch. Loves defeating Heisuke just to aggravate him and ask him if he needs a break from his overpowering gaming skills. This only makes Heisuke all the more pumped to win.

-"Hey, do you guys remember that time when..." What better way to pass the time than to rehash the good times? Has a funny story about practically everyone. Souji and Hijikata-san both threaten him should he begin to tell the stories they expect him to. He quiets down for a bit, only to begin a political discussion. Doesn't notice when Saito and Souji put in their headphones.

-The most vocal about restaurant requests. Would rather have a hearty meal than fast food, but orders two meals if that is their only option.

-You know what is really fun? Singing AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS! Encourages Chizuru to join in. Makes a puppy face until she relents.

Harada Sanosuke

-This man is an adult. Astute. Considerate. Well-mannered. Stuff him in a car with Heisuke and Shinpachi? That erodes into fun, goofing off time. Dance in the car? Sure! Bad singing contest? Oh, yeah!

-Still, he offers a hand to Chizuru to lead her out of the car on pit stops. Makes sure she is comfortable in the car.

-He did bring headphones for a moment's peace. Politely asks Saito to borrow his neck pillow for a nap. "Shinpachi, Heisuke. I'm going to sleep now. I'm tired. I don't want to play, I want to rest. I'm warning you both, if you touch me, I won't hold back. I'll knock your head off. Souji, that includes you, too."

-If all the chaos energy becomes just a tad too much to bear, he will lean towards the front and ask for a driving shift.

-On the whole, he is present to chat, help when asked and always aware of Chizuru needing just a little more tenderness than their pack of wild wolves.

-He might also text pictures to Shiranui of city names or cool sights. Smirks a little at the replies. When Shinpachi asks who he's texting, he doesn't give specifics. "A friend."

-He tries to avoid the role of peacemaker in the car, expecting everyone to behave. However, if necessary, he will wip out that big brother attitude and quell the situation. He isn't afraid to remind any of them how they are behaving in front of Chizuru. Is it a dirty move? Maybe. Does he care? Not really.

Yukimura Chizuru

-She's in a car with seven men. She did have nerves before entering, but mainly about how she would fit in with such a tight knit group.

-Her helpful attitude is appreciated by all. She finds herself being handed candies, given a pat on the back or a thank you to her face. She blushes happily about it all.

-She helped arrange luggage so they had optimal room. She appreciated all the strong men who were willing to help pack. It gave her great encouragement when they asked her give them insight.

-She has the tiniest of all the bladders. She is going to make all the pit stops she can. She does marvel at how well they all work together, despite being such different people.

-She gets dragged into so much silliness. She tries her hand at playing some video games with Heisuke, singing along to songs, any of the car games played and laughs at a lot of the antics in the car.

-Like Saito, she will help without requested. She sometimes gets snack or food orders from everyone to make the information short and accessible to Hijikata-san.

-She did bring some headphones, a book and the notes of thoughts on her phone to entertain herself. She doesn't need it so much as she expected. She loves to window gaze, take in the sights and spend time with them all. Road trips just feel like family to her.

#hakuouki #hakuoki #hakuouki headcanons #road trip #sorry for the absence #hope you enjoy

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mg-cg-me-cx · 6 years

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*Emerson lays arms and legs spread wide the field of the park. the sky is dark but it is not night. the world is dim but not black. everything has been submerged by its own shadow. everything is dark but not sad, calm. there are grass stains on his dark green shirt. the footsteps approaching are overshadowed by the music. dirty vans approach the right side of Emerson's dirtied face.*

Greyson: you alright

*Emerson looks up at Greyson with no response*

Greyson: is suppose to rain i think

Emerson: good let it

*a red camry pulls in front of Emerson's house and peers across the street into the park to spot the two*

*Greyson sits down on his skateboard and starts picking through the grass throwing some pieces of grass on Emerson*

Emerson: *spitting pieces of grass off his face and sitting up aggressively* what the hell man

Greyson: *not effected* sorry

Emerson: why don't you just leave me alone i'm laying here minding my own business because i want to be alone

Greyson: if you want to be alone so bad why didn't you get up and move

Emerson: i figured you'd leave not put down your board next to me

Greyson: i'm looking for a four leaf clover for my girlfriend

Emerson: cool can you leave me alone

Greyson: no

Emerson: why

Greyson: cause

*Emerson falls back into the grass with a sigh and a thud*

Greyson: wanna help me look

Emerson: no i don't

*Greysons gives only a shrug for a reply*

Emerson: who's your girlfriend

Greyson: well she's not really my girlfriend but she's the most intricate thing i've ever met and i want to learn everything i can about her

Emerson: *sitting up* wow that's actually incredible how does she feel

Greyson: i don't know but she doesn't mind my company so that's a start

Emerson: well that's really sweet kind of a big jump from girlfriend though

Greyson: yeah i know a man can dream

Emerson: i'm Emerson by the way

Greyson: i know, but i'm Greyson

Emerson: oh i'm sorry i didn't recognize you

Greyson: no it's okay i think this is the first time we've ever really talked. i don't really talk much. i like to observe more than i like to talk.

Emerson: oh well what else do you know about me?

Greyson: i know that you were hoping i was someone else right that's why you got so angry

Emerson: what no i wanted to be alo-

Greyson: in your head there was a person you were hoping to open your eyes and look up to. you wanted to look up and see the person that would resolve all your issues right, but it was just me. a random ass dude that isn't who you were hoping it was

*there is a long pause. Greyson knew exactly why he was there. Emerson had no idea how Greyson knew. there was this unspoken knowledge in the air.*

Emerson: i'm gay

Greyson: i know thank you for sharing that with me

Emerson: yeah i don't know why i said that

Greyson: something else i've learned is that people will open up to people that they don't really know because they feel as though they have nothing to lose. also if you set the right environment people who don't usually open out will

*Emerson isn't listening, but in awe of what is happening to him*

the best or most successful experience for me has been in a car parked by a park playing a specific type of music. songs that tell a story. and songs they draw you in with the first beat. music that inspires people's emotional energy, drawing that oh as the music draws you in. It's a really incredible experience.

Emerson: do a lot of people know that i'm gay

Greyson: *realizing that Emerson didn't absorb a word he'd just said* i mean i'd say so but i don't really talk to a lot of people like i said so maybe not

Emerson: well how'd you know

*Jackie exits her home to inspect the red camry. she knows the driver, so she knocks on the window*

Greyson: i like to observe more than i like to speak so that helps me pick up little clues about people and their personalities and such

*the car door unlocks and Jackie enters the vehicle.*

Emerson: so you're saying i act differently?

Greyson: i mean everyone acts differently. even when they are trying to be the same.

Emerson: okay so what's different about me?

Greyson: your body language

*Emerson gives no response, insinuating that Greyson should explain*

Greyson: and don't think i've watched you specifically i'm not a psycho path i can tell you tons of things about a ton of people i just pay closer attention to the people i find interesting

Emerson: *confusedly* thanks?

Greyson: *not effected by the tone* yeah *beat* so like at prom last year the way you would hold Susan Kamry's waist didn't exude any actual emotion it's like you were just doing it to pass the time

Greyson: and the on our senior trip this year when Jackie McElders slept on your shoulder, on the bus ride home, you just look kinda bored

Emerson: i was *starting to laugh* i really was but i didn't want to wake her up so i dealt with it

Greyson: it's not obvious but all me and my friends do is observe so we can tell *beat* you don't have to hide it

Emerson: i know and i don't it just never comes up i mean if someone asks i'll tell them but no ever really asks

Greyson: so who did you want me to be

Emerson: it's dumb

Greyson: no it's not don't undermine yourself like that

Emerson: but it's super cliché

Greyson: come on

Emerson: *buring his head in his arms and knees* *muffled* Milo Carter

Greyson: who

Emerson: *muffled again* Milo Carter

Greyson: look we both know i can't understand a word you say like that

Emerson: *bursting up out of his fetal position* MILO ALEXANDER CARTER

*the shadowed figure turns around in its sit to face the window. the hand reaches for the door but fails to open it*

Greyson: yeah *beat* i can tell he is too he has an awful personality complex. My friend Clarence actually figured that one out. you know you should really hang out with us sometime and try it out.

Emerson: what do you mean a personality complex

Greyson: *finally standing* i can't explain nearly as well as Clarence could so you should ask her.

Emerson: you really can't tell me

Greyson: nah but if you look for us at lunch maybe she could.

Emerson: fine okay

Greyson: *reaching out his hand to pull Emerson up* good

*music fades in louder over shadowing the conversation as shot pans out to them and the whole park.*

*in the car*

Jackie: you know you make my son really happy. like smiling ear to ear and really blushing happy. and i'm not sure what it's like on your end i hope that he makes you happy i really do i really hope he makes you happy. but you gotta learn that you don't gotta come out to anyone but yourself and then just act accordingly. people are gonna nag and they're going ask you questions and it's suck to deal with it, but you don't owe anyone an explanation. if you really wanna make me son happy. more than you already do come out to yourself. live your truth prove that you're not afraid of nothing, not even ur expectations. okay?

Milo: yeah thank you

*Jackie exits the car and walks inside before Emerson could notice anything. Once Greyson and Emerson reach the road Greyson puts his bright blue headphones back on his head and rides down the road leaving Emerson with a whole new perspective on how he should carry himself and how other people act.*

Emerson: *sitting in the passenger seat of Milo Alexander Carter's red camry he can finally look up to see who he was hoping to find* hey

Milo: *with a slight smile* hey

*Milo drives off down the road with a overly content Emerson riding with him*

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study-by-heart · 7 years

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The ultimate packing list if you are going to study abroad this year

For many of us, the new school year/semester is coming very fast and very soon. For some of us, a new education year is nothing special - you just have to set the alarm clock back into ‘I have got to get up early’ mode and go to school, college, university or however you want to call it.

However, for some of us starting a new year means more. It is related to moving out of home sometimes into a new city or even into a new country. This is related to getting familiar in a new surrounding and starting a new life where you don’t know where to find the best coffee in town, how to ride the bus or how to speak the language (cheers to all langblrs out there ;) ).

For all of you who belong to the second type of people, I dedicate today’s post. Organizing all the things that are related to such a move and saying goodbye to all your loved ones needs enough energy. You should not spend your time thinking about all the items that you need to pack for the big journey. And for this reason, I provide you with the ultimate packing list if you are going to study abroad this year. If you’re missing something that you would never leave at home reblog this post and add your most important travel gadget/item!

With that being said, travel safely and pack wisely ;)

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Bathroom

Bath towels

Brush

Face wash

First-aid kit

Flip-flops (in case you have to share your bathroom)

Floss

Hair straightener (no hairdryer, buy it at your destination)

Hand towels

Makeup (eyeliner, mascara, foundation, blush etc.)

Makeup remover

Nail products (nail polish, clippers, file)

Patches

Pain medication

Razor

Thermometer

Toothbrush

Toothpaste

Travel-sized shampoo, lotion, deodorant)

Bedroom

Alarm clock

Blanket

Decoration (e.g. pictures of your friends and family)

Earplugs

Favorite pillow

Mattress pad

Pillowcases

Sleeping mask

Electronics

All of your chargers

Batteries

Calculator

Extension leads

Headphones

Laptop

Smartphone

USB stick

Kitchen (buy this stuff at your destination)

Favorite candy from home

Kitchen scale

Misc

Bujo or a traveller’s journal

Driver’s licence

Extra bags

Financial aid information

Important addresses

Luggage tags with your contact details

Medical insurance card

Passport

Passport photos

Travel details & confirmation

Travel tickets

Visa

Water bottle

Wallet (Cash, coins and credit card)

Outdoor

Coat

Gloves

Hat

Jacket

Scarf

Sunglasses

Sun protection

Umbrella

Water-resistant boots

Water-resistant jacket

Wardrobe

Accessories (few, please!)

Bottoms

Blazer

Dress

Hoodie

Jeans

Pajamas

Shoes

Skirt

Socks

Sportswear and athletic shoes

Sweaters

Sweat pants

Tops

Undergarments

Extra tips

Before you overload all of your bags contact your university and try to find out which of the items they will provide. Perhaps there is something like a starter kit they offer so you do not have to carry bulky bed or kitchen items with you.

Take only your favorite clothes with you. But there is this fancy dress that you own that one day could look so cool? Leave it at home. You won’t wear it. Period.

Don’t take things with you that can be easily bought after your arrival. This includes hair dryers, kettles, flat irons, big bags, stationery, kitchen items etc.

In case you want to travel with additional luggage ask your airline before your departure date regarding their conditions. There are airlines that offer an online check-in for your additional luggage or a pre registration. If you take advantage of such offers you can save a few coins.

Don’t forget to make a (digital) copy of your most important documents and cards!

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socialjusticeartshare · 4 years

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First She Was Separated From Her Family, Now She’s Separated From School

A refugee child, once separated from her mother at the border by Trump, now struggles with online school.

Every weekday morning, a 12-year-old refugee named Génnezys logs into her seventh grade online classroom. She sits at a tiny table in a corner of her cluttered living room. Before logging in, she tapes her phone to a chair and dials my number on FaceTime. Once we’re connected, I peer into the screen of a laptop lent to her by her public middle school. For hours, I observe coronavirus pandemic-era education for Génnezys and about 20 other children of multiple races, nationalities, and economic circumstances. What I see is both heroic and tragic.

Génnezys is one of the thousands of immigrant children who were torn from their parents in 2018 by the Trump administration’s “zero tolerance” family separation policy at the U.S.-Mexico border. I wrote about the desperate efforts of Cruz, her incarcerated mother, to find her 10-year-old daughter. They were reunited after about six weeks. Cruz later borrowed $6,000 from a friend for a coyote to smuggle her three-year-old daughter into the U.S. The child was detained for a few days then released to Cruz.

I asked Génnezys to invent a pseudonym to protect her family from U.S. government reprisal, and she came up with a fanciful one based on the Spanish pronunciation — HEH-neh-sees — of the first book in the Old Testament.

Today the family resides in a small Southern city. Cruz works as a janitor, earning a bit less than $10 an hour. They live in a small apartment with one bedroom, which Cruz and the girls share with her boyfriend. He is also an immigrant, and he pays half the rent. He’s employed in construction, and he leaves for work very early in the morning. Cruz goes to work after taking her four-year-old daughter, whom I’ll call Bety, by bus to a daycare center. With school strictly online now because of Covid-19, Génnezys stays in the apartment all by herself from 7:30 a.m. to 5 p.m., often supervising an 8-year-old girl who has her own school computer with headphones. This child’s Latina immigrant mother works, too, so Génnezys acts as babysitter. Before online school started in September, she worried intensely that being without an adult in the home would be lonely and scary. I live hundreds of miles away, so I volunteered to sit with her via FaceTime. She says that she feels much better when I’m with her.

During the first two days of remote school, the teachers, all young or middle-aged white women, cycled though a dither of confusion and kind but mostly fruitless efforts to actually see and hear their students. One problem was that the online platforms were glitchy. The class links often crashed, leaving the students, including Génnezys, with blank screens. But by week’s end, the kinks were worked out — yet the students remained silent phantoms.

“Know that I see you. I hear you. I’m with you,” one young teacher intoned to the kids right after introducing herself. They had names like Hassan, Rasheeda, Yennifer, and Travis. “Black Lives Matter,” the teacher added. She was met by silence from her new students, and she could not see their reactions either. She asked them to turn on their mics and cameras, but getting them to comply was harder than pulling their teeth. “What did you do all summer? How did you deal with Covid? Talk about your family!”

A boy with an Arabic name turned on his mic just long enough to say that he had a baby sister. Indeed, the loud wailing of an infant could be heard. The teacher skipped a beat, then the boy’s mic went dead. No other students turned on their microphones. Not even Génnezys, who had earlier proved she was not shy. When the teacher mispronounced her name on the first day of school, Génnezys politely but firmly corrected her. She is a brilliant girl who knew no English whatsoever two years ago yet speaks it almost perfectly now, and who scrolls through the internet on her own initiative for details about the accident that crippled Frida Kahlo.

Though she has defended her name and sometimes has been the only student to answer her teachers’ questions about math, Génnezys remains strenuously silent about most of the details of her life. The family all got sick in late May, with many days of fever, coughing, muscle aches, nausea, dizziness, and diarrhea, as well as loss of appetite, taste, and smell. They recovered, but Cruz is suffering now from hair loss — a condition just recently recognized as a complication of Covid-19.

When Cruz got sick, she was employed in housekeeping at an upscale chain hotel. She said she fell ill after being ordered to enter and clean a room occupied by a woman who was coughing. She was not given PPE for the job.

Cruz estimates that in her building complex of a few dozen apartments, about 20 other people came down with Covid-19. “No one died, but some were carried off to hospitals in ambulances,” she said, adding that all were immigrants from Latin America.

Latinos comprise fewer than one in five residents in the county. But they make up about half of the people in Cruz’s census tract, while just across a main thoroughfare almost everyone is white and owns a house. In Cruz’s tract, many of the Latinos live in cramped little rental apartments.

During the outbreak and their own illnesses, Cruz and her children were never tested for Covid-19. Nor did she contact me, though she instructed her preteen daughter to call me for help if she took a turn for the worse. The family just stuck it out, but Cruz was fired by the hotel because of her sickness and missed work. She got the janitorial job just as soon as she felt better. She couldn’t self-quarantine: She had rent to pay, kids to feed. None of this is something Génnezys wants to talk about in online seventh grade.

She doesn’t turn on her camera either.

It’s hard to know exactly why the students as a group refuse to show themselves to their teachers or to each other. Middle school is the empire of peer pressure — pressure not to stand out, even in normal times, when rows of children are looking at and breathing with each other, along with a teacher in a real room. But the kids’ reluctance now seems at least partly due to how dispirited and disconnected their virtual classrooms feel. Génnesyz’s teachers practically stand on their heads coaxing interactions with the students, but the teachers’ energy seems TV-ish, abstract.

The kids are alone. They have no books. The only class that resembles normal school is math. As in times past, the teacher writes figures on a board and explains what they mean. The other classes are a mishmash of hyperactive YouTube science videos with men who speak too fast, and a woman with a white coat and test tubes performing experiments — work the students normally would be absorbed with in a classroom lab, but which they can only stare at now from afar, wall-eyed. An art class features hip-hop music, whose teaching intention is muddled, and digital choose-and-drag stickers and emojis. Strange, sci-fi cartoon people in Génnezys’s American History class purport to recount the high points of the antebellum human bondage, the Civil War, and the Black Codes. After that lesson, I asked Génnezys if she understood what a slave was. She still didn’t know — though she did remember the cartoon guy saying that a man named Frederick Douglass had been forcibly separated from his mother. She knew what that meant, from firsthand experience, but didn’t mention it in class. With me, she minimized her experience. She’d learned that Frederick Douglass was an infant when he was taken. “But, um, I was 10 when it happened,” she said. “I was a big kid, not a little kid.”

One teacher conducted a lesson about why students should participate in small- group, online “breakout” chat rooms. “Because they help us get to know each other?” said Génnezys, daring to speak.

“Very good! Thank you for that, Génnezys!” chimed the teacher, saying all the syllables correctly. Then she warned the students that they must use “appropriate language” in the chat rooms, and that their language was being watched.

This teacher also held a “correct answer” contest, with her pupils silently checking T’s and F’s on their screens. “True or false: If you fight at a school bus stop, you will be punished as severely as if you’d fought a school. True! Right, Brian! Brian gets a point! He’s pulling ahead of Corinne! Next question. True or false: If you touch the private body part of someone else at school, whether on purpose or by accident, you will be punished the same, either way. Yay, Corinne! She’s back in play!”

But there are no school bus stops now. There are no “someone else”s at school.

Génnezys has another reason not to turn on her camera: She is ashamed of her clothes. She fits a girl’s 14 now, but her wardrobe dates from a year ago, when she was size 10 and 12. Her shirts are too tight for her rapidly developing body. In the morning she puts on her mother’s dresses. They are several sizes too large.

Read Our Complete CoverageThe War on Immigrants

Cruz can’t afford to take her daughter shopping. She just lost another week of work, and wages, due to Covid-19. Two co-workers at her janitorial job tested positive and one is in the hospital. Because Cruz worked closely with both infected women, she was quarantined for 14 days. She had no proof that she had already contracted Covid-19. She had to stay home, along with Bety, who ran around the apartment laughing, yelling, and rifling Génnezys’s little desk while her sister tried to pay attention to online class.

An employee from the county health department came by to deliver some onions and pieces of fruit. Cruz finally got a negative test result but still had to finish the quarantine. Génnezys did not tell her teachers what was happening.

Génnezys also avoids the camera because of what Cruz calls “her obsession.” On the second day of school, a teacher asked, “What is your favorite thing to do?” Amid the mass silence, Génnezys activated her mic and bravely answered: “Play with slime,” she said.

“Slime?” said the teacher, nonplussed.

“Yeah. Slime.”

“Ah. OK. Yeah. Slime. Well, that sounds relaxing!”

“Yeah. It is.”

“Slime” is a faddish kid product that’s been around since the 1970s. Back then, it was valued by boys for its gross-out appeal. Now it’s prettier, smells nice, and is all the rage among preteen and teen girls. Many make it from a home recipe involving glue, borax, food coloring, and plastic beads from craft stores like Michael’s.

Génnezys was already into slime by age 10, back in Central America. Cruz’s partner there, an extremely violent man who was neither of the girls’ fathers, was terrorizing and assaulting Cruz and the children, threatening them with death. The girls witnessed the violence. Cruz made plans to hide Bety with her sister and flee to the U.S. with Génnezys. Meanwhile, Génnezys discovered slime. “In my country,” she remembered, “it was called moco,” which is Spanish for snot. She pushed it, pulled it, rolled and wrapped it, over and over and over. It calmed her, Cruz remembers.

After a grueling trip north, including a stay in a filthy, crowded stash house, things got worse at the border when the Trump administration took Génnezys from Cruz and shipped her 2,000 miles away to a child detention center. There, she was warehoused with mostly older Central American girls who’d come to the U.S. by themselves, pregnant or already with babies.

After spending six weeks with these young women, according to Cruz, 10-year-old Génnezys was using racy language and discussing sex. After she was reunited with her mother, she experienced night terrors and walked in her sleep for three months. She had three sessions with a psychologist. Then, said Cruz, “She entered a new phase of her life: adolescence,” and “she hardly talked about what happened.” Even so, Cruz added, “Two weeks ago, after Génnezys had an eye exam that showed a problem with one of her eyes, she mentioned to me that an older girl in the detention center hit her hard in that eye with a ball. That was two years ago. She’d never told me till now. Sometimes I worry about what’s in her head.”

Outside of her head is slime: jars and jars of it in all colors and textures, from shiny and glistening to rough and frothy. “I love YouTube slime videos,” Génnezys told me. The site has a plethora of young girls extolling their slime collections, as well productions with sexy women’s voices doing ASMR routines, and images of long, manicured fingernails digging languorously into the goo.

“I worry about it,” said Cruz. “It’s such a waste of money. But she would rather have slime, even, than clothes that fit her.”

If Génnezys were to activate her camera for her classmates and teachers, they might see her furiously and endlessly twisting, pulling, and punching her strange doughs as she fidgets at the computer and tries hard to do her schoolwork. A few months ago, Wired magazine interviewed a neuroscientist and psychologist who suggested that people might be gravitating toward slime during the Covid-19 crisis to simulate the feeling of touching actual people.

As a Central American refugee child, Génnezys has been traumatized by murderous violence, forced family separation, poverty, and plague. More and more, however, nonrefugee children in America are joining her in the grief and fear of being apart and alone. How many of these kids are scrunched over their own computers, secretly toying with slime?

“I don’t know,” Génnezys said when I asked her that question. “Maybe I’m the only one. Before the virus, I didn’t play with it in school because school was good. Now, I don’t think I could do school if I didn’t have slime. Without it I’d be dying.

“Dying of what?”

“Boredom.”

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#separated children #separated school #separated families

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lobandwidth · 4 years

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Ten Years On

When you’re young you think it’ll last forever, all the moments that seem new, exciting and powerful also seem like they are limitless. How many times can you hear a song and know that it basically was written for you because it’s so perfect and it fits so well? How often will you stand in line for a gig or pressed against the barrier and breathe in the smell of a sticky, dark venue, and feel completely alive and completely happy? A hundred times at least, I thought, but probably more. But as you get older the colours fade, not everything feels as vital and strong. You no longer feel the urge to write the lyrics to your favourite songs on the front of your notebook so everyone knows how much it means to you It doesn’t seem to matter so much whether everyone knows that great band that’s getting popular you had already heard and loved last year.

It’s generally a good thing I think. If I had to live my life now feeling everything as much as I did when I was a teenager I’d be, well, still a teenager. I’m in my mid 20s now, so that wouldn’t really work, and I have the life I’d always assumed passively would come to me, without any realisation of how hard work it was to get here. I find joy in calm and order and knowing that the bus will get me to work on time. I don’t regret that, I had long enough living my life at 100 miles an hour to know that it can’t be sustained, and that there’s much to be grateful for in knowing how you’ll feed yourself next month and also where you’re going to be in six months time.

And there’s always music.

In just a few seconds of the opening bars of a song, I can slip back into that world, teleport myself to being 15 and believing whole heartedly that not getting tickets to a gig would be the literal end of the world and I would never get over it. I don’t want to live there anymore, but I will never take for granted the power that music has to let me visit. We store parts of ourselves in the songs that we love, never realising at the time that we are doing so until we turn to look back.

I’m going to see We Were Promised Jetpacks on Saturday because their album These Four Walls is turning ten years old. To understand why this is such a big deal, let me tell you about when I was a 15 year old living in a rural village in the West Country.

I wasn’t cool, I wasn’t totally nerdy either, I just kind of got by but I had this best friend. They were definitely cool, and they told me about all the best bands. I learned everything I thought there was to know about music from them, and also a lot of other important things about life. We went to gigs together and shared the excitement of getting to wear band t shirts to school in our final years. They got me into listening to a lot of Scottish indie bands, and it made me start thinking that Scotland must be pretty much the coolest place in the world to be. One of those bands, was We Were Promised Jetpacks. I can see myself sat in the back of my parent’s car listening to Quiet Little Voices through my headphones on my iPod nano, letting it fill me with the exhilaration and joy that it still brings me today. These Four Walls is the album that captured that blend of energy, joy, excitement and anxiety that defined by teenage years. I used to curl up in bed and listen to Conductor to lull myself to sleep, letting the melodies take away my pains and fears. It felt like a place to go, somewhere I could be to feel all the massive things you feel when your body runs almost solely on hormones and snack bars.

Music got me where I am today, sat on the sofa of my little rented Glasgow home. I came to Scotland, because of the music. When the time came to find a place to move after uni, all I could think about was how many times I’d sat and listened to Glasgow/Scottish bands, the way they made me feel. It had to be a place I would fit and love. Because of Frightened Rabbit and Dananananaykroyd and Copy Haho and We Were Promised Jetpacks and probably many others I don’t remember now. So I came here, and I didn’t leave. Four years later, I am proud of the life I’ve built myself. I maybe never got the career in radio that I thought I wanted, but I came back to music writing after a long period of absence and rediscovered the joy it gives me. I get to combine my love of archives and sound in my day job, which feels like the perfect blend of everything I ever wanted to be. I’m still not in my own killer Glasgow band, but I am working on it. And I have found a way to make peace with my past self, to celebrate the confusion and wonder of growing up, how it feels like it will last forever until one day you realise you’re an adult that pays council tax and finds it hard to get off the sofa to go to the same gigs you made your parents drive you to because it was the only way to go. I’ve found a way to understand myself better, to be complete and whole and proud of who I am – and it’s all there in These Four Walls. I can put my headphones on and be back there, standing face to face with myself and my life, the memories I poured into the music without even realising I was doing it. I have put part of myself into these sounds, and it is a gift to be able to relive it. Sometimes it gets a bit much, we all have bands or songs we can’t listen to because of how powerful the memories are – but what a wondrous thing that is. I might have deleted the embarrassing facebook photos or tumblr posts, tried to forget some of the harder parts of growing up, but I still have access to that world just by clicking play.

#bye bye lobandwidth #we were promised jetpacks #glasgow

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floraexplorer · 5 years

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What It’s Really Like to Run Your First 5k Race for Life

I did it! I ran a 5km Race For Life!

This time last week I was standing in a south London park with a medal on pink ribbon around my neck. I’d achieved something I never thought I’d do: running 5km for the first time in my life.

For the last few months I’ve been working my way through the Couch to 5k app, a running program based on interval training. It’s designed to get you running 5km over a nine week period by slowly increasing the length of time you run, which also increases your stamina.

In week 6 of the app, I was celebrating the achievement of running for eight minutes without stopping. A week later, it was a twenty minute run which had me whooping sweatily for joy. As my running distances increased, I found that – shock, horror! – I was actually enjoying myself, and I eventually realised just how beneficial running is for my mental health.

So why did I decide to run a Race for Life?

Well, I thought it’d be a good idea to make a big deal out of my first official 5k, instead of simply achieving it while running round the park on my own. Besides, having a pre-arranged 5km run in my diary meant it was that much harder to back out!

But the real reason is a little deeper. My mum died as a result of her breast cancer ten years ago, and a few months before her death she walked the 5km with her two best friends. The certificate (which my mum no doubt bought from an official website) still hangs in the kitchen – it must have been framed by my dad.

It felt appropriate to be running my furthest ever distance in aid of a charity so important to me.

Read more: Why my new-found love of running is helping my anxiety

Preparing for my first Race for Life (and first ever 5km!)

I’d decided to run the Race for Life by myself (none of my friends were in the mood to run it with me!) but because I suffer from anxiety I had a fair amount of casual panic on the days leading up to the race.

What was I going to wear? Would I be warm enough before and after the race in my usual running gear? And how on earth would I carry my stuff?

Usually I run in the park close to my house, so I never have to think about carrying anything more than my phone. But the Race for Life I’d chosen was far enough away to require catching the bus, and I was definitely going to be thirsty afterwards. And what if it rained? Did I need to take a hoodie and run with it around my waist?

According to their website, many Race for Life events have storage for runners’ possessions. But no such luck for the race I’d chosen – so I had to get creative.

After a bit of research I ended up buying a cheap running belt from Sports Direct which could just about hold my phone, a debit card and my headphones. I carried a bottle of water and hoped I’d feel comfortable enough to hold it while running (although I didn’t feel too confident).

Warming up for the Race for Life event

Race day dawned bright and sunny with a predicted forecast of 23’C and a tiny chance of rain. When I caught the bus towards Crystal Palace Park, there were people onboard wearing pink teeshirts and pink tutus with ‘Race For Life’ branded across them – and I remembered that although I was planning to run relatively seriously, plenty of participants are doing it purely for fun!

Once I arrived at the park I wandered through the crowds and found a patch of grass to sit on. The pre-race anxiety was starting to kick in a bit, and I half-wished I’d forced some friends along to watch me run. Trying to keep the nerves at bay, I unfolded my running number and safety-pinned it to the front of my vest (not yet knowing that my hand would constantly hit against the sign during the race and I’d wish I’d pinned it to my back instead!). After a bit of thought I decided I couldn’t chance carrying a water bottle for the duration of the race, so I headed for the friendly-looking women at the Cancer Research tent.

“Excuse me… Is there any chance I can leave my bottle here with you until the race is over?”

They were more than happy to help – and at that moment a man onstage called, “It’s time to start your Race For Life!”

In fact, there were still fifteen minutes to go – but we all stood dutifully opposite the stage while organisers played an audio recording of someone’s cancer story. Although it ended on a positive note, it was still a bit tough to listen to.

Especially because it was then followed by a minute’s silence to reflect on the people we’d lost.

As a relatively new runner, being in the right mood for running isn’t exactly a guarantee. Right then I actively felt like I was ready for the prospect of running 5km – and I didn’t WANT to think too hard about my mum and her death! Not at this exact moment! I felt tears pricking the back of my eyes and had to shake it off quickly before I started to actually cry.

Luckily the minute was already over, and the MC announced that we’d collectively raised £86,000 for Cancer Research UK at this event. Not too shabby! A woman in fitness gear leapt on stage and led us all in a round of jumping jacks and jogging on the spot – wherein I immediately realised the running belt was way too loose.

Are you a walker, a jogger, or a runner?

With just a few moments to go before the official race began, we were instructed to join whichever group we identified with: walkers, joggers or runners. Because I apparently always want to challenge myself, I felt my feet heading for the ‘running’ group.

In hindsight, this was perhaps a mistake.

While everyone shuffled and stretched, I put my headphones in my ears and started one of my favourite Spotify playlists. My thumb hovered above the ‘activity’ button on my Strava app; despite not being bothered about my overall race time, I still wanted to track my progress.

Three, two, one… RUN!

As the runners around me began to move, I moved with them – and I almost immediately noticed I was going faster than usual. It was only in that moment that I realised I’ve never run alongside other people before, and clearly I get influenced easily!

Within a few minutes I was out of breath and panting hard. I had to actively slow my pace and give myself a stern, internal talking-to (I may have even closed my eyes for a split second to pretend I was alone on the track).

Luckily the benefit of running amongst so many others was distraction. I could look at people’s outfits, read the messages on their signs and share the occasional smile. I’d also never run in this particular park before, so there was always something new to look at.

At 1km: I was surprised how long it took me to reach the first kilometre. I usually hold my phone while running, which means I can have a quick look at how long I’ve been going for if I want to – but as my phone was firmly wedged into my new belt the possibilities were left wide open. Of course, once I realised there’d be distance markers I then started keeping an eye out for them, even though I didn’t want to!

At 2km: This second kilometre didn’t come easy, either. I grew pretty worried that I might have to pause and walk for a few moments – and although I knew this wouldn’t be the end of the world, I really wanted to be able to run the full distance in one go.

But the biggest thing I’ve learned over the last few months is how much of a mental challenge the act of running really is. This 5km was a huge test in terms of combatting my inclination to self-criticise; there were so many moments where my inner voice was pretty keen on pausing, walking or even just giving up altogether – but I kept on doggedly powering through.

At 3km: By this point I’d finally come into my optimum pace. We were on a satisfyingly straight section of tarmac under the cover of trees, and I felt strong and controlled as my feet repeatedly hit the ground – it was such an amazing feeling! The entire kilometre was a breeze, and I hoped against hope that it’d continue.

Coming up to 4km: Alas, I knew from previous runs that the ‘good stretch’ tends to burn out after a while. This time it was thanks to the running belt around my waist, which I’d tightened so much that it was giving me a stitch (or felt like it, at least). I fiddled with the strap and turned it so the belt was at the small of my back then raised the volume of my music, tried to find an extra reserve of energy in my legs, and willed the 4km marker to appear. Once I knew I only had a single kilometre to go it felt that much more possible.

Coming up to 5km: That last km was still difficult though. I focused solely on what I could see just in my immediate vicinity; the children gazing at ducks in the pond, the infamous Crystal Palace dinosaurs peeking out from behind the bushes, even letting myself muse about the pebbles and leaves on the path ahead – anything to keep me going!

With the finish line in sight: A few minutes before the end there was a diversion for runners who were continuing on with the 10km route. A guy just in front of me peeled off for it but I stayed firmly on course. I ran past the crowds of grinning faces and underneath the ‘Race for Life’ banner…

– and just like that, it was over!

I’m officially a 5km Race for Life runner!

I stumbled over to the Cancer Research tent to retrieve my water bottle, feeling my legs continue to vibrate and shake. The lovely ladies there took a few celebratory photos of me and then I gratefully sank down into the grass.

“I really did it,” I thought. “I just ran a 5k – and I actually enjoyed myself!”

But I opened up Strava, my tracking app, it said I’d actually run 6.1km instead of the official 5km?! Either way, this race was my longest distance and length of time spent running so far!!

I headed for my bus stop with my runner’s number still safety-pinned to my chest. An elderly lady stopped me and said, “Have you been running marathons?”

“No, I’ve just run a 5k!” I said, still full of exhilaration. “ I’m not at marathon stage just yet!”

But judging by the way I feel about running right now, there might well be a marathon in my future (or a 10km in a few months, at least!)

Have you ever run a 5k race? Do you have any tips for a race-beginner like me?

Pin this article if you enjoyed it!

What did I learn from my first 5k Race For Life?

Races mean running a specific distance, not a time. That might sound blindingly obvious, but thanks to the app I’d grown used to solely running for a specific length of time – and the distance I’d cover would often vary.

Plan how you’ll carry your possessions, and practice beforehand. I didn’t think about carrying water and money until a few days before the race, so

If you listen to music, decide on your playlist before the race.My go-to choice is a Spotify playlist of either pop punk or rock tracks.

A warm-up is crucial. Couch to 5k starts off with five minutes walking to warm-up, but I didn’t do this on the race day. In hindsight, I wonder whether that contributed to me being out of breath at the start?

Running amongst other people can affect your pacing. I wasn’t prepared for how much my pace could be affected by the runners around me, and I started off way too fast.

A warm-down walk is important! I usually do a five minute warm-down walk but didn’t do it after the race. My legs were sore for the next three days!

The post What It’s Really Like to Run Your First 5k Race for Life appeared first on Flora The Explorer.

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tigerrobot · 6 years

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This one will leave you howling

Ritual magic is alive. Battle magic, like what I normally use, is more like a thing, a tool. A fireball or a lightning bolt or a burst of air, that's just taking things and shaping them, borrowing energy from the elemental planes and manifesting it in our world. Ritual magic can do anything from track someone down to raising the dead if you are so inclined.

Casting battle magic requires only words. In my case, they are in the form of runes tattooed onto my skin. This serves many purposes. If you write the words down on paper, infuse them with power when you do, you create a scroll. But paper is weak and will be destroyed by the release of the power. Others memorize the magic from books but, like paper, memory is thin. Once used, the memory is changed forever, your mind cannot recall it in exactly the same way, effectively destroying the spell. It was actually a wizard that put forward that very idea to psychology papers. Skin is more malleable, more durable. My tattoos can be re-used as often as I need to, provided my body can withstand the forces trying to escape.

When I cast a fire-bolt, it is the same every time. I could cast it at the same surface a thousand times and it would explode in the exactly same way each time. Ritual magic is never the same twice. Use the exact same focus, the same subject, the same kind of ritual, and during the ride it will be different. I say 'during the ride' because that is the easiest way to describe how it works. You ride a ritual. The better your handle on the spell, the easier it is to hold on. Some spells are just too big for 1 person and you need help staying on.

And then, some rituals are so delicate that any more than 1 person could cause minor fluctuations that would send the whole thing spinning out of control.

"So, Pen... Umm. I've got something to tell you and, at the same time, I need to ask for your help." Benny was looking at the ground, which was definitely out of the ordinary for a guy who was pretty popular. Benny was 6'1" at 16, funny, and probably the nicest guy you'd ever meet. He genuinely cared about other people and always went out of his way to make me feel welcome and included.

"Yeah, of course Benny, what's up?" I was worried for him immediately. This timidity was strange.

He looked up at me, a sheepish smile crossing his lips. "I like Amelia. Would you be able to help me ask her out?" I scoffed. Every guy in the school like Amelia. I swear, if I charged every guy who asked me to hook them up with her, I'd be able to retire by the time I left High School. I could only imagine how much worse it would get when we got to college.

I laughed and his smile faded. "Seriously, Benny, really? You are basically the most popular, out-going, and self-confident guy in school. You can ask her out yourself!" I shook my head. I didn't say it harshly or anything. I understood why everyone wanted Ames, aside from her being beautiful, she was smart, nice, and didn't take people's shit. That drew a lot of attention, like a flame. And, like a flame, most people couldn't stand close to it for long.

"But... She listens to you! And, if she tells you she's not interested then, like, it'll be easier for you to tell me, right?" This got me upset. This jackass was asking me to do all of the emotional labour of him asking out my best friend.

"Benny, get fucked." I laughed at him again and shook my head once more. "Man, you are a king to most of the school already. Nobody is going to think less of you if she shoots you down. Some advice? Just ask her out for a piece of pizza and ice cream. Then you can talk to her a little less publicly. Cool?"

He nodded, a little dejected, and shuffled away. I rolled my eyes. I had no idea why guys get all unsure and pathetic when they wanna ask a girl out. Being vulnerable isn't less 'manly' or anything like that. Surprise, most chicks like a guy who can be confident and vulnerable at the same time. I didn't realize this fact until the first time I asked a girl out when I was 16, about 8 months after this tale, but even when I was 15 I didn't understand the fear. There was a lot of other things to be afraid of.

I was leaning against my locker, waiting for Ames to get out of class and listening to my 90s play list, before Benny walked up to me. I slipped my headphones back on and closed my eyes. Another song and a half went by when Amelia shoulder checked me, lightly driving me into the locker. I grabbed her and spun, pinning her against the locker and stepped back.

"You might be the academic champion of the world, but you ain't got nothing on me." I smirked at her as I let my headphones drop back to hanging around my neck. I shouldn't have. She grabbed my arm and spun me back into the locker, I tried to resist but she had gotten stronger since starting jujitsu classes.

"Come on, you've got your magic thing, I've got everything else. That's what makes us a great team!" Then she booped my nose and pushed me out of the way so she could get into her locker. Sometimes she was just too damned cute.

"So, what's up tonight? And why weren't you in class?" She put her books away and then crossed her arms, looking at me with a critical gaze, one that would have made the headmasters of old proud.

"History? Yeah, no. If I have to sit through another class talking about how great Christopher Columbus was I might be physically ill. Why do we still use textbooks from the 80s?" We both laughed and then sighed in resignation of how bad it got sometimes. I didn't consider myself anywhere near the academic that Amelia was but even I had read a new history book or two. Part of learning magic was to learn where this power comes from. And that involved a lot of reading about the true history of the world. So history class was one place I couldn't really stand.

"As for tonight, Lance asked for my help with something. Wanna come along?" Lance was a friend who had started being nice to me to get closer to Amelia before realizing we actually had more stuff in common and became friends ourselves. I didn't begrudge Lance for it, everyone wanted to be friends with Amelia, though how I came off as more approachable I'll never know. People are weird.

"Yeah, sure, it's been awhile since we hung out. I'd like to see what they're up to." Lance was non-binary, preferring they and their. Some people gave them a hard time about it but, thanks to the internet, it was becoming easier for Lance to be themselves. Having friends who would call those people out when they were shitty to them helped too.

Ames grabbed the books she'd need for her evenings unnecessary homework and we walked out together. The bus ride home usually sucked but if we got to it early enough we could snag the back seats and then at least nobody threw shit at the back of my head. Today we got lucky and just chatted about various school stuff until we got to my place.

I'd agreed to meet with Lance after dinner. Dad made a giant salad for all of us and we headed over to Lance's parents' place after eating. The lights were out on the main floor but the back porch light was on so we went around and Lance let us in. Their parents were out of town for the week and it seemed like Lance didn't want to run up the electricity bill because none of the lights were on. They led us down to the basement and Amelia and I froze.

In the center of the floor was a giant ring, made with what looked like glitter. "Uh, Lance, buddy... What the hell?" I looked up at them and they immediately looked away from me.

"Yeah, so, um... I..." Lance seemed to be struggling to find the words. Lance was never uncomfortable around me but people being awkward around me seemed to be the norm today.

"Come on, spit it out. You know whatever it is, we got this." I tried to sound encouraging, Amelia nodded along with me and added her own "Yeah, we're friends, you can tell us."

"I need your help with controlling myself. It's a full moon tonight and it's hardest during a full moon." Now they looked up at us and I noticed the small change. Their nostrils were flared and their eyes had a slight yellow tinge to them. "That ring is made with silver shavings. I shouldn't be able to pass it if my research is right. I hope that'll give you time to do... well, what you do."

"Whoa..." I took a step toward them. "Lance, are you saying you're a werewolf?!" It came out a little more aggressive than I was hoping and Lance flinched.

"Yeah, Pen. Happened a couple months ago. My parents know and they helped me last month with it but we knew we needed a more permanent solution and then... I'm sorry, I told them about you." Lance looked away again.

I walked over to them and pulled their chin up, so that I could look them in the eyes. "Hey, we can talk about sharing my secrets another time. We've got something WAY more important to deal with right now. Get in the circle, it's getting dark."

I hadn't met a werewolf before, though part of my education had been learning about them. The silver circle probably wouldn't do much so I planned on using a sleep spell and then working from there. I knew I couldn't cure them, but I did know that 'weres' could learn to control the change, and even control themselves when in that form. I just had to reach Lance's personality and pull it up while their body was a wolf.

Mental rituals were probably my least favourite. It was almost impossible to plan for, since everyone thinks differently and you never knew what you were going to get when you dove in. Normally, I tried to control as many variables as I could, hence the tattoos so I was ready for any battle.

I sat down outside of the circle and started casting the sleep spell, pulling in the energy for it, wrapping Lance up in a soft, warm blanket of power. Amelia came and sat beside me. She put her head on my shoulder, lending me whatever of her strength I needed. Some people were served as conduits, some as vessels, and some as batteries. Amelia was one hell of a battery. She nearly doubled my own reserves of power and, while I didn't like borrowing it from her, it was always good to know it was there if I did need it.

At this point I was only half using my physical senses, I felt Lance change by the way it shifted the energy I had wrapped around them. That's when I released the power and the spell completed, gently pull them down into a slumber so deep, the massive wolf was practically snoring.

Now the fun would begin. Being in the same room as the wolf made it easy to connect to it's mind. No special focus or tie to it was needed to find the right pathways and I slipped right in.

As of now, Lance's mind was a mess. If I had waited a little longer it would be simpler, the mind of a wolf, but that would have made it much more difficult to dive in and find our Lance. Now, it was like trying to surf when you've never even stood up on a skateboard. Keeping my balance was nearly impossible and I was faintly aware of Amelia holding me upright. I let the remaining ties to my own mind slip away and got lost in the chaos of a half-wolf, half-human brain.

The first thing I needed to do would be to find a memory. With Lance's mind fractured like it was now, there would be two sets. If I could find a human memory, it could follow that thread to the rest of Lance's consciousness, or so I hoped. Images flashed by like photographs as I tumbled around. A stray thought slammed into me and sent me spinning. Images of running in the woods outside of town invaded my own thoughts as Lance's mind tried to assimilate me. When it realized I wasn't a memory to be filed away, it would start trying to reject me. The mind, human or animal, was an amazingly powerful thing and if it was already starting to hone in on me, it was time to get moving.

With Lance's wolf side only being a few months old, it limited the amount of memories I needed to trudge through before deeper memories surfaced. This was the biggest reason I hated being in someone else's head. Every memory Lance had formed swirled around me. Had I wanted to, I could have looked into how Lance perceived every interaction they and I had ever had. Fortunately, all I needed to do was pull these memories forward now, make Lance remember they were a person, not a wolf.

The best way to describe it is a mental lasso. I focused my mind on as many of Lance's memories as I could, trying not to commit them to my own memory but to simply let them exist in front of me. Then I pulled with all my strength back toward my own body. This was where things got dangerous. This is how you steal someone's thoughts. Essentially that was exactly what I was trying to do. When the mind splits like it does in a 'were', the 2 parts often become separate. That's why werewolves never remember what they did the next day, it wasn't actually them doing it. I needed to steal the memories from Lance's mind, give them to the wolf mind, and create a bridge between the two. You know, kid's stuff.

The wolf was gaining power and I could feel the mental connection I had beginning to weaken. The flip side of this, was, if the magic tether snapped or was broken, I could get lost in Lance's mind. While this wouldn't kill me, my body wouldn't have a mind left to control it. And I was certain Lance didn't want another permanent house guest in their head.

Lance's wolf mind became like a torrent, thoughts ripping at me like ice and hail in a storm. At first it merely stung. Then the thoughts hardened, becoming more aware of my intrusion. Instead of a passive defense against invaders, the wolf was now trying to expel me. I knew I was getting closer to the exit, the bomb of Lance's memories were still trailing behind me but not yet deep enough into the wolf mind to start the reaction. Plus, I still had to build the bridge between the 2.

I began folding power into the tether. It was the most important thing. Even if I couldn't merge the 2 minds, I needed to be able to get out. Lance would understand if I failed. I knew they'd be pissed if I got myself lost doing this. And mostly they'd be mad at themselves. An angry wolf could do some serious damage.

The thoughts, like steel, tore at my mental projection and I vaguely felt the damage it was doing to my physical body. The projection instinctively tapped the back of my right hand, where the rune for my shield spell normally was. But, in the mind of Wolf-Lance, that spell wouldn't work. It took a long time before I learn proper mental combat. Fear crept up my spine as I began thinking I was in over my head.

I dropped my hold on the bundle of memories I had been dragging along and chaos erupted. Instead of a slow, steady merging there was a tornado. At this point, there was nothing else I could do and, as I was battered and thrown about, I knew I had to get out. As though sensing this, a sharp memory sliced across the tether, the magic threatening to break down. I redoubled my effects but it wasn't enough as another attack against the tether caused it to sever. I watched as it slipped away from me, the other end retreating back through the portal that would lead me home.

Panic overtook me, and I pulled in every ounce of power I had. All I could think to do was close the distance, I couldn't let that portal close, I couldn't lost sight of it. I was always closest to fire, and that's what I envisioned. My projection burst into flame, every memory that touched it instantly disintegrated, and I flew into motion, racing toward the closing gateway. The thoughts and memories pulled away, which I would later realize was a good thing for more reasons than just my own safety. I hit my own body like a sack of bricks, snapping to consciousness roughly and falling over. Amelia was over me, crying my name, tears running down her cheeks.

When I was able to focus again, I noticed her fretting over me. When I looked down, the pain hit as my eyes saw the thousands of tiny cuts and the bloody mess of my shirt and jeans. I could already feel the wounds stitching themselves back together as my magic set about correcting the mistake my mind had made but this outfit was ruined. Amelia hugged me, muttering something about me being an idiot while hugging me tighter. It was then that I noticed the wolf in the circle had begun to change back into the form of Lance.

In an awkward moment, can confirm that the clothing does not go with the change, as Lance was left trying to cover themselves. I broke the circle and they grabbed some clothes from the nearby dryer, the ones they were wearing now shredded and all over the floor.

We discovered that a few memories were lost in my panicked flight. The first time Lance ever swam in the public pool, which was when they had first realized they loved water, was the most notable memory lost. Lance shrugged it off but it obviously hurt them.

During the next full moon, I stayed with them. They had to focus intensely at first to stop the change from coming on but it appeared the ritual was successful. After that came bringing on the change by decision. Then controlling the actions of the wolf. All in all, it took about 3 months before they were comfortable not being locked in the basement during a full moon but it was about 5 months before I had those 3 nights a month back to myself again. I was more than happy to help, especially knowing that I now had a bad-ass werewolf buddy to call on if I needed it.

#original fiction #female protagonist #pen's tales

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kafechewcom · 6 years

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Minimalist Backpacking for Digital Nomad (Nov 2017)

The Three Principles of Minimalist Backpacking:

It’s not just about having lighter stuff; it’s about traveling simply.

Make sure you are sharing gear and/or that you’re using one item for multiple purposes.

Use the most minimal, lightest technology available.

Why pack light?

Cheaper flight fares. Most low-cost airlines charge additional money for anything more than a tiny handbag.

Less frustration and wasted time. You won’t have to wait at the airport for your luggage, or worse, get frustrated when you lose it (more common than you think). Going on and off airports will be blazing fast.

Flexibility and comfort. You won’t have to waste energy carrying heavy luggage, or finding a place to accommodate it while you’re out there exploring. You’ll have less back pain. You won’t feel exhausted after an hour. You’ll do much less laundry. Traveling light is pure beauty. It allows you to jump on opportunities and adventures as they come. Serendipity will find you. This, my friends, is what real freedom looks like. No need to leave bags at the hotel after checking out.

Better infusion with the local culture. There is some degree of disrespect when you come all the way to a Third World nation holding that big, shiny DSLR camera. Being more modest in appearance will make you more inviting and attract more interactions with the locals.

Less risk. Because you’ll be traveling with so little, you won’t look like the average tourist. You’ll look more like an expat. Vendors will be less likely to rip you off, and malicious people will be less likely to rob you. Keep your bag on you when travelling on the bus = peace of mind knowing your bag is safe

You simply don’t need more. Cyril Northcote Parkinson was known for his disrespect to the lack of human efficiency at managing resources. His Parkinson’s Law suggests that “work expands so as to fill the time available to its completion”. Likewise, luggage expands so as to fill the bag available to its storage. When your boss gives you eight hours to complete a task, it tends to take eight hours to complete it. But if he says you’re free to go home if you finish it in two hours, I bet you’ll find a way. Likewise, no matter the size of your bag, you’ll always find a way to fill it up.

You begin to appreciate simplicity. An unnecessary item you once owned quickly loses its meaning when gone. You forget it ever existed. When you travel without physical burdens, I find that you’re more focused on your surroundings and the simple joy of life itself.

Consideration:

Do you really need to take 7 pairs of underwear for a 7 day trip? You can only wear one set of clothing at any given time. Realistically you can get by with a minimum of 2 pairs of anything. By washing one and wearing the clean one in a cycle you can always have a clean pair available.

why not maximize the efficiency of this one single set and ditch the rest? Why not pick something that never stinks, barely needs laundry, and always looks great?

The most popular and most recommended type of clothing for travelling light is merino wool. Why? Because it’s quick drying, natural and resists odours for days while also providing excellent breathability and insulating properties.

You should be able to get by with a minimum of 2 sets of clothing. The tops and bottoms should be able to be matched interchangeably so you can turn 2 outfits into several. Also don’t be afraid to wear the same thing more than once. When you’re travelling no one is going to notice or care if you wear the same shirt 3 days in a row.

most people could get by with only a smartphone these days. A smartphone is a really great and versatile tool for travel, i.e. your camera, music player, address book, flashlight, map/gps, etc

The way to pack light in winter is by layering and making the most of what gear you have (you don’t necessarily need more gear).

Weather will play a big role in deciding what you will need to pack. If you’re going to the tropics during the rainy season for example you’ll probably want a decent rain jacket. If the forecasts only predict light showers occasionally then you could simply buy a cheap umbrella when you arrive.

What are you bare toiletry essentials? You don’t necessarily need to take your own soap, toothpaste, toothbrush, etc. Almost everything you could need is likely available at either the airport or the local convenience store.

shower without soap

My Packing List as in November 2017 (Zero Waste in mind)

1. BetaBrand Under-The-Jack Pack 2.0 (Black - 4.5 L) 2. MacBook 12" (Rose Gold) - as backup battery pack for handphone 3. AquaQuest Storm 11 Laptop Case (Black) 4. 29W USB-C Power Adapter + AC Plug (“duckhead” US/Japan) 5. Road Warrior Plug International Adapter Go!Con W2 6. USB-C Charge Cable (2 m) 7. Samsung headphone (white) - as noise cancelling earbud 8. PNY USB C Duo-Link Flash Drive UCD10 16Gb 9. Muji Notebook 10. Muji 6 colours pen 11. Ladies Foldable Shopping Bag 12. IB oasis men ls crew black m (base layer 200gm) - exercise, water activities, sleep 13. IB Men’s Oasis Leggings (base layer 200gm) 14. OrganicsBasic SilverTech Boxers 15. Slazenger mens swim boxer 16. Icebreaker Sphere Scarf (65% wool, 20% Lyocell, 15% Nylon) - as hairband, scarf, cap, towel & handkerchief 17. Atomy Gold bristle anti-bacterial toothbrush + cap 18. Home keys (gate & small room) 19. Carabiner (grey) + Hydraway collapsible water bottle 20. Stanley TravelMax 3 Digit TSA Padlocks With Flexible Vinyl-Coated Steel Cable (20mm - 348)

Outside 21. Hairband (black) 22. Rayban prescription eyeglasses 23. Samsung Galaxy A3 (2017) Dual Sim 16GB LTE (Gold) + Tunetalk nano sim + ChatSim 24. Wool & Prince Button-Down Burgundy Oxford 100% merino wool 210 gsm 17.5 micron Regular (M) 25. SNT Mili-Tech Boxer (S - Black) 26. Columbia Women’s Titan Peak Convertible Pant (10 - Black) + belt 27. Himali Himalayan Hoodie (Women’s L - Storm Gray/Violet Blue 800FD) - outer layer, rain coat + pillow 28. Passport 29. Flowfold Vanguard Limited - Billfold Wallet (Jet Black) 30. Maybank Debit Card (Cash withdrawal at international banks' ATM via PLUS platform) 31. Citibank Premiermiles Visa (Plaza Premium Lounge) 32. Maybank 2 Card Amex Platinum 33. MyKad (as Touch ‘n Go) 34. 2x Driving License 35. Home access card (white) 36. Cash & Coins 37. Telepen cell (black) 38. Drymax Hiking HD Socks - Over the Calf - Gray - Medium (73% Olefin) 39. Xero Umara Z-Trail Men (9 - Coal Black / Charcoal / Black) 40. Sireck 2017 Cycling Overshoes - make my slippers formal, wind/waterproof

Home

OCBC Debit Card

Home keys (main door & post box)

Little bag for cards

Acteon Compact Antibacterial Microfiber Surge Beach Towel - towel at home

Maybank 2 Card MasterCard Platinum

Citibank AirAsia Platinum

G2000 Slim fit black slack

Giraffe black shoes

Speedo Women’s Aquapure Prescription IQfit Goggle (diptres 2.0)

Reference:

https://lightn.es/post/all-my-stuff/

http://regevelya.com/travel-gear/

https://lightn.es/post/how-and-why-to-shower-without-soap/

https://gallery.mailchimp.com/a721bcc3b248d6622c2f97dfc/files/one_light_bag_packing_tips.pdf

https://lightn.es/post/the-virtual-weight-of-things/

#digital nomad #packing #minimalist #travel #backpacking

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