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felassan · 1 year

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Lately there's been quite a few interviews with the creators of Dragon Age: Absolution, some of which contain interesting pieces of information about Absolution and DA generally. This post collects these together. :> it's under a cut due to length and will be updated if more info of note from interviews comes out. all infos have their sourcelink included. this post is Part 2, it spilled over into 2 parts due to character limits (Part 1 link). (Absolution spoilers under cut)

When asked about a hypothetical season two and future cameos in Absolution, Mairghread Scott said "All cards are on the table for me, my relationship with BioWare is sort've like being the fan girl in the candy store where I just sort of ask 'Ooh, what if I this, can I have this, can I have that?' And then they just tell me 'no, but maybe this instead'. If you guys have thought of a character to add to the show I've definitely also thought about that character". It will all just come down to timing & begging. John added that all characters are kind of on the table depending on timing. [source]

BioWare always have a running internal idea of what the characters are doing, even if it's not something that they're currently sharing with us. They have an idea of who is available when & who could potentially be a part of the secondary medias [source]

In terms of plans for more Absolution, Mairghread said "as a TV writer, I’ll take as many episodes and seasons as anyone will give me." [source]

Mairghread said that it was really important for her to ensure Season 1 was Miriam's story first and foremost, and that Miriam will still always be their lead. the writers care deeply about the characters they created, and Lacklon, Roland and Qwydion have always had lives and stories of their own, which she is very excited to tell them. "I’ll also throw out that I can’t wait to see how the Imperial Divine reacts to all of this. Tassia’s troubles are just starting on that front." [source]

There's no plans for possible future plans that can be shared currently [source]

DAII has a special place in John's heart, so "Any time we get a chance to go back to Kirkwall, I love it, because I think Kirkwall, in many ways, embodies one of the most fundamental truths about Thedas (and in particular, Thedas during this particular Age) which is that bad things happen, a lot, and sometimes the best you can do is take care of the people close to you—and sometimes you can’t even do that.” [source]

Mairghread: "Hawke’s success should never be diminished. I want everyone who played Hawke to feel proud of what they did (including myself). That said, Meredith was tangling with forces beyond her understanding and at the end of the show we get to see a hint of the consequences of those entanglements. No Dragon Age story is truly stand alone and events in one part of Thedas are always going to have ripples that affect the rest of the world and its characters.” [source]

The interpretation of what the worldstate is in the Absolution universe has purposefully been left up to the viewer to interpret. Mairghread and Scott cautioned against assuming there is a preferred or core canon narrative and respecting player choices was number 1 on their priorities' list when writing Absolution. they worked hard to phrase and present things ambiguously. They were very careful not to say when the Cass/Leli flashback is in the timeline or in what capacity they were speaking (Divine or not). "That flashback could have been before anyone was formally named Divine or they could have been ‘tying up loose ends’ afterwards (Neither of these women are the type to leave things half-finished)." [source]

For the Inquisition, "how you want to define ‘broke up’ and when that happened is also up to the player’s choices. Don’t take what Hira and Fairbanks say as being any more than what’s true from their point of view. Finally, for ‘Herald of Andraste’ anyone who’s ever gotten stuck with a nickname can tell you how hard it is to shake them, whether you like them or not." [source]

John: “there are so many places we’ve never gone before in the franchise, whether in the games or in the ancillary narrative products, and if I started giving my list of ‘places I want to visit’, I think I’d run out of space. I guess suffice to say I think there are an almost infinite number of interesting stories still to tell and I hope we get a chance to tell more of them." [source]

Mairghread: "We write very sympathetic villains, who are essentially encouraging you to look away from their misdeeds, but ultimately, it was really important for me to try and look them in the eye as much as we could. [...] It’s really easy in a story like Dragon Age to gloss over some of the evils of abuse, slavery, caste systems. I really felt like it was important that we look at those in a manner as realistic as we could — or as respectful as we could; it’s hard to say realistic in a fantasy setting" [source]

John: "A lot of the people living within [Tevinter] have tricked themselves or have convinced themselves that, Well, this is just the way things are. Rezaren is a person who sees, Yeah, of course, it’s unfair, of course, but this is just the world we’re in. It’s interesting, because ultimately, I think that is the Tevinter attitude for a lot of people. It also provides an interesting ability to contrast that with people who are in that society and maybe don’t see things the exact same way; they don’t just accept that this is the way things are." [source]

Why did they choose Fairbanks as the 'Ascended Extra'? Why did he die? - Mairghread said it had nothing to do with "the sheer joy it is to kill [Mercer] as many times as humanly possible. Look, I'll be honest, I really couldn't bring myself to kill Harding. Like, No, I’m still hoping to romance her. [...] We also wanted to build a real sense of danger for our characters. Having the leader of the team and the guy who in theory planned most of this die really early was a way to get the audience to understand that all bets were off the table" [source]

and lastly this whole passage [source]:

[Part 1 link, as the character limit was reached in this post]

#dragon age: absolution #dragon age: absolution spoilers #dragon age #bioware #video games #longpost #long post #dragon age: dreadwolf #dragon age 4 #the dread wolf rises #da4

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nitewrighter · 1 year

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symmetra's situation always broke my heart a little because i can see why she likes being in vishkar so much, especially now with the interactions with lifeweaver

it's like those stories about autistic people fitting in really well on ROTC because they have strict routines and set of rules for everything (and we don't know about vishkar but in the military there's rules even for socializing which is obviously great for people who don't understand social cues)

so it's really heartbreaking for me that symmetra has that stability in her life but in a place where they're lying and taking advantage of her, it's definitely one of my favorite parts of the overwatch lore

Well I think that's one of the aspects of Overwatch's lore that is both a great strength and an achilles heel. You have a lot of 'redemptive' stories in Overwatch: Genji and Hanzo, Baptiste, Symmetra, etc---but it's very clear that them being placed on an antagonistic side to begin with is due to circumstances far beyond their control. That's kind of the equalizing/randomizing factor of the Omnic Crisis as a major worldbuilding element. But there's also this question of, like, what is redemption when so many of the factors of the choices of being on the 'wrong' path, characterization-wise, were things beyond your control?

It really baffles me because like... for the longest time, in my fic writing, I was kind of operating off of this 'assume the best' attitude with regards to Overwatch lore--because the whole core of Overwatch's worldbuilding is optimism! Like "Yes, the pains and dimensionality you imagine for these characters very much does affect their behaviors, they are 'larger than life' because the world is this grand and nuanced thing!" Like, that's one of the reasons why the Reaper short story was such a rude awakening for me, and I guess a lot of fans--it's the jarring realization that ultimately, you can think 'nuance' but you are also at the mercy of a triple-A game studio's definition of 'nuanced' (Bioware my beloathed...).

I do think, if the Stone By Stone story hinted at anything for Symmetra, that we are going to see her come into her own--that may also be one of the reasons why they brought LifeWeaver into the cast, in order to help support her in that endeavor and combine both familiarity and the adventuring into new things--like what was happening with Zenyatta. It was pointed out a while back that the name 'Satya' itself comes from the Sanskrit word for 'truth' so I do think that we are going to see that arc for her--even if it's just in a short story or a comic (but god PLEASE give her and Lúcio a cinematic together PLEASE).

#symmetra #lifeweaver #zenyatta

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anathemafiction · 1 year

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Do you like Dragon Age? If you do, what is your favorite and least favorite RO of each game? And why?

Do I like Dragon Age? Dragon Age Origins is my favorite game of all time, and even after all these years, that fact hasn't changed. To be perfectly honest, both DA2 and DAI were a bit… of a letdown, but! I still love the franchise, and I'll probably buy every single game that comes out.

So, here's to DA4! 🥳

As for my favorite ROs: In Origins, Zevran has my entire heart. (´༎ຶ ͜ʖ ༎ຶ )♡ I adore that man. It's a pity Bioware doesn't care about him at all. 😄 But I'll take all the breadcrumbs I can get.

All of the Origins crew has a special place in my heart. Morrigan, Leliana, Alistair, Sten, and Shale are some of the best companions ever written. I love them all.

When Morrigan calls my Warden sister 😭😭😭😭😭 No, I didn't cry whatcha mean?

I didn't romance anyone in DA2. Varric is my Hawke's soulmate, but alas, Bioware didn't agree with me T_T, so he's a platonic soulmate. I like the other ROs as characters but not as romances.

In Inquisition… I know I'm going to get flack for this, but my favorite is Solas! 🤣 It was such a mindblown when he broke up with me and then the revelation and Tresspassar!!!! He's so intertwined with the plot, plus, he's a literal God, so… to be honest, I haven't done any other romances xD When I play other races, I just end up alone.

#I'm actually getting hyped about da4 #missed the world very much #plus it's such a great excuse to replay origins xD #personal

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crossdressingdeath · 2 years

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I love helping other people procrastinate! What’s your “canon” DA playthrough? Like protags for all three games, their LIs, etc? (Sorry if you already detailed this somewhere else, new follower lol.)

You know, I don't think I ever have gone through it. So just some basics:

Origins and Awakening: Tahel Surana, blood mage/arcane warrior/battlemage (in case you were wondering his constitution always ends up hysterically high, usually higher than most of the warriors in the group. I believe my record is 91 con?). Romanced Zevran because I cannot resist him. He is having the best time of all my protags, he is a baby freshly-Harrowed mage and now he gets to leave the Circle and never go back? Aside from the whole Blight thing this is the best year of his life! Although he's very confused by all this outside stuff and would like the others to stop expecting him to know things. Please, he hasn't gone outside in like five years, he's struggling enough with things like getting rained on, stop putting all these decisions on his head. In terms of major choices he saved the Circle, used lyrium to help Connor, broke the werewolf curse, put Bhelen on the throne of Orzammar, spared Loghain, did the ritual to survive killing the Archdemon, and put Alistair and Anora on the throne. He then improved slightly at leadership as Warden-Commander, where he saved the Vigil and allied with the Architect, and has not heard the end of it from either the Amaranthine nobles or the Warden higher-ups ever since.

2: Garrett Hawke, force mage. He romanced Fenris, because even though I keep meaning to romance Anders Gideon Emery's sexy, sexy voice acting gets me every time. Purple/blue Hawke, with which one ends up as his active personality changing run to run. Kirkwall is very stressful but it's his city so he deals with it, largely through snark. He is going to get his friends through all this absolute nonsense if it kills him, Maker help him (it might kill him, why are these people always getting into so much trouble). Sided with the mages at every opportunity of course, and also made Carver a Grey Warden because it's a thousand times better than the alternative. Cullen only survives this game because Hawke isn't allowed to stab him and Varric's story is basically 90% Varric scrambling to talk his way around all the incredibly illegal stuff that Hawke did in order to further the mages' cause.

Inquisition: Alaris Lavellan, rift mage (he would be a blood mage but Bioware rudely didn't allow that in DAI so that's not in gameplay), He Of The Ever-Changing Name. I'll pick one and stick with it one of these days, but basically if you see me talking about a male mage Lavellan (or... really just any male Lavellan) it's probably this guy. Romanced... well I alternate between Bull and Dorian, but in my heart they're in a polycule. The living embodiment of "Can I please go home now". If he didn't think the Inquisition would fully have him murdered if he left he probably would've gone back to his clan basically the first chance he got. Has reached the point where if someone tried to assassinate him he might just let them, but on the bright side he's learning so much about how other people live, which is nice except for how they keep shitting on his people. May or may not be slightly possessed by a Dalish god, but that's not important. As for choices, he allied with the mages, put Briala in charge of Orlais, kept the Wardens in Orlais (he wouldn't have forced them to help the Inquisition if he'd had that option, but apparently he's not allowed to just refuse to judge the organization that is in no way under the Inquisition's jurisdiction), sided with the ancient elves, drank from the Well, made Leliana Divine, disbanded the Inquisition the first chance he got and intends to save Solas from his own idiocy. Also, absolutely has a super cool prosthetic made of Fade rocks.

So, there we go! Probably the most information on my canon DA run I've put out at once. Know that they're all Doing Their Best and I love them.

#dragon age #tahel surana #garrett hawke #alaris lavellan #asks #wardenskeeper

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ninjapotatohead · 1 year

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Sonic Chronicles, a Sonic RPG from Bioware back when they still had a perfect reputation & is the closest we got to a game based on the comics continuity. It got B's & 80%s from various review sites & magazines. What could possibly go wrong?

Oh God it hurts, please make the hurting stop.

Here's 3 quick facts about me: A. I can play Sonic games B. I can play RPG C. I can't play rhythm games to save my life

Which of these 3 facts would you say is the most important to playing a Sonic RPG? Well it turns out the answer is C because every damn attack & spell requires the player to do some Elite Beat Agents bullshit to work. Made worse that the you-did-it-wrong sound effect sounded more like a you-did-it-right SFX to me, so I didn't realize how badly I was screwing up for the longest time.

In fact, the audio top to bottom is just terrible Shadow's "voice" is the falling-down-the-tube SFX from Sonic Spinball. & the music, Hoolee Moolee the music. Apparently Bioware ran into legal issues with their soundtrack in the 11th hour or some other shit & at the last minute replaced most of the tracks with MIDIs from a fan site. The results weren't pretty.

Story is.............ok. To Bioware's credit, they've done some homework & tied previously unconnected threads from multiple past games together to form this game's backstory & this was probably the last time any Sonic game remembered the Master Emerald. However, some of these callbacks don't really amount to much in the long run. OK, so the Dark Brotherhood built the Gizoids from Sonic Battle, what of it? The gizoids in the game might just as well have elite Brotherhood troops for all the difference it makes. If Gemerl from Advance 3 made an appearance they could've gone somewhere with it but he doesn't so nevermind.

Speaking of the Dark Brotherhood, the other disappointment is that this is like the only Sonic game to incorporate elements from the archie comics canon, except not really. Instead of the Dark Legion/Julie Su/Dimitri, SC has the store brand knock-offs Dark Brotherhood/Shade/Ix. It's like getting Kylo Ren instead of Jacen Solo. I hate to imagine a sequel having substitute Freedom Fighters if Bioware kept going.

Dialogue choices seem to be there for the sake of Bioware tradition, not to actually add anything of note. You can either choose from sarcastic Sonic or serious Sonic, but the results the same regardless. This probably would've been a better game to work in a custom player avatar instead of Forces, Bioware at least could've done more with it. Tails is so insufferable about reminding the player to save the game, he continues to do it even after telling him to stop. That's how inconsequential choices are.

Stats are so weirdly implemented. Damage output is not a visible stat, you can equipped items that increase your damage but they don't show by how much. There's an "Attack" stat that you can see, but it actually refers to the attack's accuracy, which I didn't know for the longest time & was hella confused at why I was doing so little damage. You give party members protection from different elemental attacks, but there is no single enemy in the whole game that even deals any sort of elemental damage so the shields are pointless.

In short, it's a game where every facet of it fails. Crap graphics, terrible audio, lousy controls, half-assed gameplay, weak story, & a cliffhanger ending that'll never get resolved thanks to a lawsuit from a dumbass ex-writer. It may not be the worst Sonic game ever but it was the 1 that broke my heart the most.

Though, to be fair, Chronicles also sold like shit. If memory serves me, there were special "Viral" Chao that were supposed to be given out at special events, but they never were due to poor attendance from the players.

Chronicles is only just barely passable as "baby's first RPG", but it's when the game is shown to someone who's played many better RPGs that the game's many glaring flaws are laid bare for all to see.

#spud's inbox #sonic series #sonic chronicles

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ladycamz · 1 year

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SO HEAR ME OUT

I need to let this out I'm sorry to the remaining DAI fandom

The game locked me in a relationship with Solas without my acknowledge. I fucking killed a dragon only to unlock scenes with Iron Bull only to discover the scenes wouldn't show up bc Solas told everyone we're married WITHOUT ASKING ME OUT.

So. When I found out this happened, what did I do? I broke up with him and broke my heart altogether bc I'll lose the canon with him 😭😭😭 BUT I SIMPLY CAN'T ACCEPT THAT MY BABY ELF WILL BE DUMPED AFTER BEING A LOYAL BITCH and losing so many good scenes.

I feel so bad. But so good. And, BioWare, I'm holding a grudge against you now. If you guys not make Solas remember my Inquisitor dumping him on DA4 I'll fucking knock on ya doors at 3am.

#dragon age inquisition #dragon age #dragon age solas #solas #dragon age cullen #cullen #solas x inquisitor #da solas

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dreadwitch-allie · 1 year

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🐺 Dread Wolfs Heart 🐺

(Get it? 👀)

#dragon age inquisition #dragon age #beginner artist #solavellan #dai #my art #solavellan hell #solas #fan art #solas x lavellan #lavellan #my oc #bioware #digital art #bioware broke my heart #procreate #art #solasmance

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enigmatist17 · 3 years

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Can somebody please give Shepard a hug?? ME 2 sets expectations of pain from the fucking get go 😭

#mass effect #bioware mass effect #mass effect spoilers #please #seeing Kaidan this time and knowing that he wont see Shepard for 2 years #broke my heart 😭

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voiidstalker · 6 years

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i don’t want a remastered trilogy

i don’t want to see the same mass effect story over again but with next gen graphics. i want a new story.

#Mass Effect #mass effect andromeda #lol there i said it #and tbh the milky way broke my heart and i don't mean it in the good way #thane dying and me3's ending made me physically ill irl #they're the reason i've only played me3 twice #the good part is that there's no way bioware can fit 3 games into 1 #and i don't think the OT is old enough and in high enough demand for EA to approve the remake of 3 games #so any chance for a new ME game is more likely to be andromeda 2 :D

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ethekitchenator · 4 years

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Oh god.

I just finished Trespasser for the first time.

Someone help me.

I need the next game. Now!

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misohelps · 2 years

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(( in honor of dragon age day, below you will find ( a handful of ) sentence starters based on canon dialogue from bioware’s dragon age games. you are welcome to change any nouns, pronouns, etc. to suit your muses.

content warning for cursing and references to violence

“ Change is coming to the world . ” “ But sometimes, change is what they need most. Sometimes, change is what sets them free . ” “ Great, we have a dog now and [name] is still the dumbest one in the party . ” “ How does passively accepting your fate constitute a fight ? ” “ Let those who would destroy us step into the light . ” “ All of this happened because of fanatics and arguments about the next world. It's time we start believing in this one . ” “ That's the world. Everything you build, it tears down. Everything you've got, it takes—and it's gone forever . ” “ The only choices you get are to lie down and die or keep going. He kept going. That's as close to beating the world as anyone gets . ” “ Alas, so long as the music plays, we dance . ” “ I've done so much wrong... Allow me to do one last thing right . ” “ Daughters never grow up, [ name ]. They remain six years old with pigtails and skinned knees forever . ” “ It's dangerous when too many men in the same armor think they're right . ” “ The elves trusted that the world as it was would never change. This rubble is the legacy of that trust . ” “ I would treasure the chance to be wrong once again, my friend . ” “ For a slaughtering ground, it's actually rather pretty . ” “ Men's hearts hold shadows darker than any tainted creature . ” “ Well, shave my back and call me an elf ! ” “ What do you want from me? I broke in, found my brother and it was awkward. Y'know, family business . ” “ I’m starting to think this city’s in love with crisis . ” “ Nobody said this was going to be a happy story . ” “ ‘Elf this’ and ‘elf that’. I'll ‘elf’ your mother . ”

#dragon age ask meme #dragon age sentence starters #fantasy ask meme #fantasy sentence starters #fantasy rp meme #rp meme #ask meme #sentence starters #rp sentence starters #*MINE

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zet-sway · 3 years

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@the-wip-project day 35:

I don't know what today's question is but I gotta write a wall of text about what happened last night because holy shit

I was on the verge of falling asleep and, like I usually do, I decided to hunt for some spicy fanfics to read on my phone. I found one.

All my posts are long but this one is real fucking long. CW for touching on dub-con and injury mentioned in the type of context it probably shouldn't be.

It's time for me to admit that not only am I a oneshot writer, I'm also a oneshot reader. I am drawn to short fanfics. If I click on a chaptered fic, it's (usually) because it's rated E for smut and I'll go in with every intention of skimming it for the spicy bits. I'm not proud of this. I've avoided saying this for years because I don't want to disappoint people who work hard on their very long and well thought out chaptered stories. I have a short attention span, and I know what I want.

But anyway, last night I clicked on a fic with 5 chapters and some amount of words, around 30k? Long, by my standards, but I was tired and I just wanted something to read while I dozed off.

This particular fic hooked me in, though. I still skimmed it, but the writing was so unique in a way that made me writhe with writer's envy and admiration. Whoever wrote this had their own language - nothing borrowed - their own vision.

I guess I should tell the good people who read my posts (ya'll, seriously, thank you) that the fic in topic is called Fault Lines by Recidiva on AO3. I would link to it but uhhhh I may be using my work PC for "extracurricular purposes" right this moment ^^; so maybe when I get home I'll remember to add it.

I skimmed it - like I said above - for the spicy parts. It generally follows the plot of Bioware's canon. Thane begins as possessive and manipulative, likely uncomfortably close to dub-con for a lot of people. He kisses her and knows full well that his kiss will make her willing but intoxicated, and how he will use that to fulfil himself. But as the story progresses, he falls in love. Their relationship is what I'll call "edgy." Both of them are renegades. There's a scene where they get down in the shuttle after a fight and they're both still injured and it borders on downright unrealistic but fuck it, it's fanfic and I bought it. However their relationship develops a certain heart-wrenching tenderness. She asks him what Siha means over and over again, and eventually tells him she thinks "bitch" when he says it. But in that moment they have a playful banter, he knows full well she's probably already looked it up on the extranet, and they fall into bed together. The smut is mind-boggling.

By the time it gets to Shepard's arrest, he's taken up a place on Earth and visits her, breaks into her house arrest. There's a scene where they see each other for the first time in a while, she tells him how much she's missed his mouth and how it's not right how bad she wants him, and wants him bad enough to smother him with affection. She says something to the effect of "if you're looking to die, I'd volunteer to be the cause," implying that her lust is powerful enough to endanger his life. And it was at this moment I realized I fucked up.

It's established that I live in my own headcanon and I'm not burdened with considering the end of Thane's life as part of my fics. And the suspension of disbelief was such that I forgot he doesn't make it. So at this moment in the fic, chapter 4 out of 5, I realized "Oh shit this isn't going to have a happy ending." I skipped to the end right away, I wanted to confirm my fears.

In their final exchange, she asks him to lie to her - something that's repeated in other chapters of the story. I forget what he says, I was reading desperately, but he asks her in return to tell him something true. She kisses him and tells him she loves him, and he breathes his last breath with the lingering tingle of their kiss to carry him to the other side.

I was so entrenched in the depth of their relationship up to that point. The level of fathomless love the author conveyed, unlike anything I've ever managed to write before, but more realistic to my own understanding of love as I've experienced it. Not because they're renegades, but just the selflessness with which they feel, communicate, banter, and make love.

When I read that last paragraph, something inside me broke. That sounds dramatic but that's honestly how I would describe it. It felt like waking up from a night terror, when you bolt up in bed from a dream so bad you immediately get up even if it's 4am because nothing feels real and you're so terrified you have to get up and do something - literally anything to take your mind off it, to ease you back into reality. I put my phone down and stared into the darkness of my bedroom and told myself "it's just a fanfic, no need to get upset." And then I started to cry and I didn't stop for 30 minutes.

My husband was downstairs watching Bohemian Rhapsody and I went down there and wrapped myself around him so tight and cried. Bless this man, from the bottom of my heart - bless him - for his unfathomable kindness. I felt like a fucking fool because I was crying over fanfiction but he paused his movie and just listened while I tried to articulate how it wasn't exactly about the character death, or the characters at all, it was just the writing and how it wormed into my brain so convincingly. I felt the loss like it was my own loss. I am terrified of losing my husband. So many feelings coalesced and I realized one day I may be in that situation, kissing the man I love goodbye for the last time, never to hold him again. I'm at work right now and I'm tearing up because it's so hard.

I tip my hat to the author, but I genuinely wished I hadn't read that fanfic. And isn't it kind of funny after that grandstand I took yesterday about not wanting to write the pain of loss and grief, that I ended up reading it instead and probably fucking myself up just as badly, if not worse, than if I had tried to write it myself?

It gets worse, too. Because it got me thinking about my own writing, and how I could never hope to achieve what that author did. So I sat there crying out my painfeelings while simultaneously feeling like a shit writer and like nothing I put out matters. I got up from the couch, sat down at my PC and picked up where I left off in the Omega DLC in ME3 because video games are great for taking the mind off things. It didn't exactly help with the intensity I'd hoped for, but I managed to fall asleep, by 3am.

Fast forward to this morning. I dragged my sorry ass out of bed 4 hours later and drove to work. By some fucking miracle, no one is here right now except our field director. And I'm stewing in how this one fic really fucked me up bad, reconsidering everything. I feel like I've been put in my place.

So what changed?

Yesterday I posted about how I'm struggling to write a plotline. I know what happens, but I'm not interested in the little bits that tie it together. I want to write the romance. I think there's a way to write the plot and the romance at the same time, but it's damn hard.

I started doing this because I wanted to grow my skills as a writer, and I knew it might be more than I could chew. I'm at that moment now where I'm about ready to give up.

Even if I felt like a shit writer last night (and still kinda do this morning), I know that the stuff I've put out has value. We can't all write these epically tragic smut-romance-renegades-to-lovers tales, we'd all be sad all the damn time. There's a time and a place and - I would argue - even a need for lighterhearted fic out there. There are really no rules. I'm confident in what I know how to do.

But the plot. Fuck it, man. I think maybe I'm trying too hard to be something I'm not. I'm trying really hard to write like other people. I may have mentioned before that I saw a post about how many artists spend their time pining for the skills of others, thinking "wow, when I can draw like that, I'll have made it as an artist." That same post cautioned against this, basically saying you already have your own unique style, it's just harder to see through the lens of your own eyeballs. It's fine to challenge yourself but try to acknowledge what you do that sets you apart already. I feel like I have that something - maybe not to the extent that I wish, but I have something.

So what's the point of the plot? Why do I need to tell my readers how I cured Keprals? I'm asking myself important questions here. I like to think I've come up with ideas that no one else has, but as I said above, I don't read a lot of chaptered fics. I very well may have come to the same ideas as other writers and I'm not even aware of it. I don't know if my ideas are unique but I still arrived at them all by myself.

The challenge here - the thing I'm struggling so much with - is how to put them together with the same elegance of my fellow writers. I'm looking at you, shrios fam (yeah I'm calling you that, yall know who you are). I know I can write words, but it's like I have a bunch of pieces from completely different jigsaw puzzles and I'm struggling to make a new picture out of them. I struggle with the transitions between them.

The point here is I have to find my own way. And I have to stop taking myself so seriously. In fact this level of "seriousness" is one of the things that got me into so much angst over World of Warcraft over the last two years. At least I know how to recognize it.

I have to find my own way. I have my own things that are worth sharing. The author I read last night had a language all their own, and I have a language all my own too. Their wordplay was actually more choppy than I would ever write. I've talked before about how I'm scared of starting too many sentences with pronouns, how I maybe write too many run-on sentences, whatever. This author did that with reckless abandon. It worked for them. So if they can make that shit work, I can make my own shit work.

I have to find my own way.

My most current WIP is Thane and Shepard's first time. I've been working on it pretty nonchalantly because I hadn't intended to publish it until I built up to it. It takes place further into my timeline, and it would probably ruin the point of a slow burn if I put it out there now. There are some really memorably moments in this WIP, and there are other moments that need to be smoothed over as well. I never knew what I'd really imagined for their first time but I think I've mostly developed something that's unique in its own right, and I think will be fun for people to read.

I'm just so fucking torn over what to do with it. I feel guilty for working on it. I should be writing "other shit" leading up to it but I don't fucking want to. I actually wrote probably 2-3k words this weekend, which is a pretty staggering amount by my standards. Some of it was for this smutty WIP and some was for something I just threw together, Thane observing Shepard on Horizon and the emotional toll it takes on her. He's seeing her humanity. I don't know if it's worth it to continue but I wrote a lot of it and the words are more precise than usual for a draft, I don't know. I have so much fucking insecurity. Fuck dude. I want to write this longfic, but I don't want to write it. I want to skim to the spicy bits like I always do.

I am wracked with insecurity, of my own making. I know what I can do but I feel compelled to see this idea through. Somehow I have to find my own way.

TLDR I feel like if I don't publish something soon I'm going to burst and I don't even know what the fuck to work on first and fjslfjsojoiejrj

I would be really down for, like, a bunch of hugs and a bowl of ice cream shared over memes and fanservice.

#this post is EXTREMELY fucking long send help #ITT: i read something that probably changed my brain chemistry for a few hours and it's painful #zet vs 100days #i'm just glad to get this off my chest good lord #anyway if people want to send me links to their favorite shrios fluff i would welcome it

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merrilldidnothingwrong · 4 years

Text

little things about kaidan i love

beyond “hes so pretty and good” and also for anyone whose never played mass effect

my absolute favorite quality is that hes military, but the first time you talk to him, its not his defining quality. like hes NOT 100% military all the time. hes loyal to the alliance, but hes also loyal to shepard’s crew that has aliens on it.

he has no issue with aliens (you have to push him renegade to make him xenophobic)

unless you make him more renegade, outside of ME2, you dont see him angry. (which is completely justified given the situation)

hes untrusting of shepard in the start of me3, but that will change depending on your choices

in one quest during me3, he still mourns for a lost soldier that was lost in the first quest of me1

and ashley

when you talk to him in me1, he really wears his heart on his sleeve. he opens up pretty easily. he tells you about a situation that broke his heart as a teen

he also shows concern for shepard too, saying he will look out for them when a bad situation comes up. (at this point shepard is a spectre, so thats saying something)

hes the kind of guy that would turn someone in if someone was dirty (..or tell shepard to take care of it if they were REALLY bad)

hes very much his own person, hes not looking for shepard to help him in his career or anything. he does see them as a potential very good friend or a lover but there is no personal quest for him

the way he talks is very..... not what youd expect?? its very soft, calm, he really takes his time. he does talk things out with shepard from the beginning, so thats the closest he gets to a personal quest

plus his voice is very, hnnnnn

hes got a really dry sense of humor. you see it the most in me3, especially in the citadel dlc

hes just a “normal guy” who likes steak and beer, but yet, hes just.. so much more??

at the end of the day i believe he joined the alliance not just bc of the biotics but bc he really cares about people, he wanted to protect people, not just humans.

and thats why hes SPECTRE kaidan alenko!!! because he deserved that shit!!!!!!!

he will do anything to make sure that happens!!! he is so good!!!!!!!!

he is the best autistic brown bisexual man bioware ever made

feel free to add more

#mass effect #kaidan #kaidan alenko #THIS IS NOT AN OPPORTUNITY TO HATE ON ASHLEY #and ill never forgive bioware for whitewashing him in me3 #NEVER NEVER NEVER

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