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gatitties · 4 months

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Web of love

─Yandere!Jujutsu Kaisen x fem!reader (platonic)

─Summary: your worst night followed by a wonderful day, are you slowly going crazy? Maybe, but you'll get out of here no matter what

─Warnings: blood, self-harm, anxiety attack, hallucinations, obsession, toxic behaviors, stalking, yandere stuff

Part One / Part Two / Part Three

The blank pages: Part One

YOU TRY to control your shaky breathing, no one would take away the poor quality of sleep you had at this point in your life, but having nightmares right now was the last straw that broke your patience.

You looked at yourself in the bathroom mirror, your face was slightly wet because you needed to splash yourself to clear your thoughs, the cold water didn't help much anyway, you slapped your cheeks with moderate force hoping the feeling of mental numbness would go away, but again it didn't work.

"What the hell is wrong with me…?"

You touched your right cheek, slightly red from the previous blow, focusing your gaze on the reflection of the sink mirror, you were a complete disgust, never, not even in your worst period of exams, had you seen yourself so emaciated, the dark circles and bags under your eyes, the lack of color in your face, your frizzy hair, its lack or decrease, bloodshot eyes… you could continue to despise yourself while you stare at your reflection for hours, bringing out each of your flaws.

But there was one that bothered you beyond your appearance, your lack of emotions, your lack of thoughts, you refused to show anything other than a blank expression to those people who ruined your life, you refused to have to think complex things while they took care of everything, not being able to do anything on your own you began to stop complicating your life by thinking about solutions.

Who were you? What were your goals? Your tastes? When did your memories start to become blurry? When was the last time you really smiled? Were you real? Or just a corporeal desire of psychopaths eager to have something precious to protect? Since when was everything so gray, so monotonous? Did you still consider yourself a person with rights and freedom? When did you start accepting this?

"Hey… Hey!"

Focusing your lost vision again in the mirror, you weren't very surprised that you were hallucinating after having a brain as soft as baby food, it was you, maybe a couple of years younger who was speaking to you through the reflection, your mouth opened but no words came out as if you were a fish out of water.

"What's happening? Is this the future that awaits me? You're pathetic! Look at you… Where the hell is your stupid smile? You used to smile a lot before, why…? Why have I become a puppet?"

Your words mixed with a murmur, feeling how your heart squeezed painfully in your ribcage, your mind deciding to continue the macabre game of your existential crisis, replaying memories with your family and all the warm moments that kept you sane until now. You closed your eyes hoping that the hallucinations would disappear, but you only managed that instead of visuals they were audible, reproducing words of affection from your parents in a loop like torture, the breathing exercises you did before to calm yourself stopped working now, you bit your lip so hard that you ripped off some skin, not enough for you because you started running your nails down your arms, leaving red marks from the friction and force.

"You're better than this, what's all this whining about?! Get up and stop being a coward! You will only drag me into this meaningless future!"

"Shut up…"

"Are you even worth anything? You're so boring, I don't understand how those sorcerers want to protect you."

"Shut up."

"Are you going to cry to sleep like always? You are a disgrace, you are lucky, lucky that someone can love you so much, what would you do without them? They are much better than your own parents, accept it, accept it, they love you unconditionally! Even without knowing who you are or how you feel, even without knowing what your purposes are, they will love you! Accept your desti-"

"I said shut the fuck up! Silence!"

You shook your whole body, holding your head, you hit it a couple of times against the wall, so hard that even a couple of tiles fell off, a few drops of blood fell from your head, but you didn't care, the voice, your voice, it was gone, you swallowed your own poison, locking your inner, dark thoughts deep in your brain.

Your mind continued numb for a couple more minutes where all you could hear was a faint sound of static and a constant beeping, but it was more calming than having to listen to your own voice in that twisted way. Getting up once you calmed down a little, your reflection returned to normal, you splashed your face with cold water again, cleaning the blood on your head, nails and lip, taking one last look at your pitiful person, with your head still full of unknowns.

"Why is this happening to me?"

You rub your eyes tiredly, cleaning up the mess you had made, you decide to lie down on the cold bed once more, tucking yourself in and looking at the ceiling waiting for your body to magically disintegrate into ashes, too pretty to be real, when you realize the rays of light make your eyes hurt and sting, one more sleepless night, a new day awaits.

Faking and ignoring your nighttime crisis you get up to do your morning routine, being greeted by an overly cheerful Nobara as you passes through the dining room to look for some breakfast, you couldn't say the same for Megumi, who looked much more tense than normal, you didn't know where the others were but you didn't care much either, and Nobara and Megumi didn't say anything about your appearance, whether they noticed it or not, you're just glad they decided not to ask anything.

"You look like you've experienced the worst existential crisis of your life."

You spit out what you were drinking when you heard Maki just enter, from her appearance you could tell that she had gone out for a run early in the morning, Toge and Panda followed behind her, everything fell into a silence that was too uncomfortable for you because they stared at you carefully, completely ruining your efforts to hide your bad appearance.

"Just a bad dream…?"

You mumbled, avoiding everyone's gaze, Toge approached you, patting you on the head as if that would help you, although it was the most comforting thing you felt this week, it didn't feel as forced as other interactions.

To your relief, everyone continued with their things, while you ignored what they were talking about and continued eating breakfast, their talk became louder than usual, you frowned at this, deciding to listen lightly to the conversation, you froze when you remembered what they were talking about, the Kyoto school exchange, even though you didn't sign up for that stupid ceremony, as a student you had to, at the very least, be present, but you knew that a large concentration of sorcerers would only cause you more problems than solutions.

You knew why Megumi seemed so tense when the other students showed up, they didn't seem to have a very friendly relationship, they all seemed quite focused on the rivalry between high schools, which made you happy since the focus of attention wasn't on you, but rather in Itadori since he seemed to be targeted by the Kyoto school just for being Sukuna's vessel. The bad thing was that you had to stay in the teachers' room, with Gojo and a couple of other guys, the good thing was that you fell in love, Utahime was your spirit animal, definitely someone to admire just for her hatred of Gojo.

"So, why don't you want to compete? I can tell that you have quite a bit of accumulated cursed energy."

"Aww, meeting my favorite student? Well that's a delicate topic she doesn't-"

"I'm not talking to you, shut up."

You smiled internally when you saw Gojo's kicked dog expression, who didn't even let you talk to Utahime, she looked at you again, completely ignoring the albino's presence, it was, the first time since you arrived here that you felt like you were having a normal conversation with someone outside your life, someone disinterested in your protection, it was the most real interaction you had since then and it had to be ruined, not by Gojo, not by any student… curses, a planned attack, a lot of chaos was caused that you barely understood.

"Don't fight and don't try anything weird, although I'll know anyway, stay safe!"

It was the last thing Gojo said to you before leaving with the others to see what was happening outside, you couldn't have cared less about his words, and although locking you in your room was the main idea, your wires got crossed with your little sanity, if everyone was distracted by a greater evil you could use that to your advantage.

Since both sorcerers and curses were completely absorbed in their stupid fight, you used that to go outside, first it was a couple of meters, you didn't notice anyone, the capsule didn't stop you from leaving, so you walked further away, elated by your minimal achievement, you started running as fast as you could, reaching the busy streets of the city, smart enough not to go near the places Nanami frequented.

It had been a long time since your heart had been beating like this, so wild that you thought it might come out of your throat, you coughed for air once you stopped in a park, collapsing on the ground, you lied there, you laughed like a crazy person, some tears escaping of your eyes as you looked at the sky brighter than ever. You couldn't believe it, you were alone, with no one watching, you could feel all the positive emotions hitting you, there were so many sensations that you didn't know how to feel, but definitely much more relieved.

The smile on your face was indelible, you were happy, the world at this moment was painted in much more vibrant tones, the palette stopped being a constant tone of gray, you smiled at children, the elderly, you caressed animals, you bought a few flowers and then randomly give them to some people, completely in a bubble of happiness.

Although the bubble had to burst at some point, whether due to your subconscious or the pass of time, you knew that your sudden disappearance would only cause more of a stir, you wish you were left for dead, but you know those sons of bitches wouldn't have that in mind unless they saw your death with their own eyes or found your inert body.

Using your last moments of happiness, you decided to treat yourself to some of your favorite sweets, saying goodbye to the clerk who served you with one of your best smiles, you took the long way to the jujutsu high school, hoping to delay your reunion with your "loved ones" as long as possible.

"Stop there! Aren't you the missing girl? You've given us an incredible headache, come on, I'll take you back."

Someone you hadn't bothered to meet grabbed your wrist, pulling you without even waiting for you to react, analyzing her appearance, she was quite similar to Maki, maybe a family member.

"What a pity, sorry for the headache, but can you let me go? I know the way Maki number two."

At this moment the least you wanted was a confrontation, but your mood had not completely dropped, although now you were a little more upset than happy, your emotions overflowed, causing you to be a more sarcastic and sassy version of yourself.

Mai stopped instantly when she was called Maki number two, you had definitely found her weak spot, which turned into a passive-aggressive chat between the two of you, you would have been angry, but you couldn't be angry when you enjoyed the criticism you were giving each other, honestly it improved your day and you felt more human than before.

"Oh thank goodness you're fine! I thought those dirty curses had kidnapped you!"

Nobara didn't waste a second in hugging you as soon as she saw you, Itadori following her a second later, you assured them that you were okay not wanting everyone to crowd around you as the others also wanted to ask where you had been and why you disappeared when they were under stroke.

You drowned out the emotions you poured out during the day, swallowing everything, turning your expression blank as you felt Gojo's powerful gaze on you, everything calmed down for the next few minutes, the two schools finished the meeting and the Kyoto students left, before that you decided to exchange phones with Utahime.

Once you got rid of your companions, you locked in your room, unlike many other nights, you threw yourself on the bed, grabbing a cushion and screaming as if you were one of those teenagers in love in those saccharine series, you moved your legs in the air by pressing the cushion tighter between your arms. Changing your posture, you looked up at the ceiling just like the night before, with the big difference that now you couldn't contain your emotions, you giggled, biting your lip lightly, not noticing the wound you got earlier.

You saw it, you saw light at the end of the tunnel, ─not that way of course─, you saw how a door opened before your eyes, a new opportunity to free yourself from the chains that kept you captive with all these psychopaths, experience freedom after so much time made you delirious, made you imagine that you could get rid of them, that they would leave you alone, even if it was risky, your only option was to escape, run away from everything and everyone without thinking twice, without thinking about what can happen in the future, you would give everything to re-experience what you felt today when you ran away.

You sighed dreamily as you remembered the feeling of freedom, closing your eyes, not worrying about whether you were going to be able to fall asleep today or have another boring game of chess, oblivious to the blue eyes that watched from your window.

"It seems like someone is in her rebellious stage, maybe she need some restrictions…"

He muttered, unhappy with your disobedience but excited to see you happy, he didn't think he would see it so soon, your smile was beautiful just the way it was and you decided to hide it like that for them? They were only worried about you, why did you have to keep all that to yourself? They wanted to be part of your happiness, couldn't you understand it? Well, they will make you understand it no matter what.

Once he made sure that your breathing was stable, he entered your room, kissed your forehead like every night, only this time he sat next to you, caressing your head slowly, observing how, even while asleep, your silly smile was still painted on your face, the flash of his phone made you frown slightly, but you didn't wake up.

"I hope you rest well today, I'm sorry for not helping you the night before, but if I had come in you would hate me more, wouldn't you?"

He said to himself, closing the door slowly, giving you one last look before leaving, he sent the photo to the group chat he had with his students, reviewing the last photos where any of the four were able to capture something more emotion than indifference. Just like you, the small display of emotions only opened another door for them, that small display of freedom for you and emotions for them, was simply another trigger for your problems, after all, the more you move, the more you get tangled in the web.

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #reader insert #fem reader #x reader #web of love #yandere platonic jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x fem reader #jujutsu kaisen x platonic reader #yandere jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #platonic reader #platonic yandere #platonic relationship #jjk x platonic reader #jjk x fem reader #jjk x reader

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thetravelingtyper · 2 months

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On the same page...(Simon 'Ghost' Riley x reader Bookshop! AU) pt 1

After a disastrous breakup, you, an American author, escape to a little London bookstore with your best friend. However, when one patron takes a certain interest in you, you wonder if your story has been finished after all...

Part 2

“You used to get it in your fishnets

Now you only get it in your nightdress

Discarded all the naughty nights for niceness

Landed in a very common crisis

Everything's in order in a black hole

Nothing seems as pretty as the past though

That Bloody Mary's lacking in Tabasco

Remember when you used to be a rascal?”

Smooth lyrics picked with a bass line and beats in on the radio, your ears perked up and catching the beginning of fluorescent adolescent you sighed. The song wasn't helping your down mood and you pick up your phone, ignoring the 10+ missed calls from your ex, and changed the song. After shuffling for a moment another piercing ring lit up your phone.

God leave me alone!

You sigh to yourself and toss your phone back on the counter of the bookstore as the door rings, announcing a customer. Your eyes flick to the door as a tall man enters. Lightly buzzed hair looks soft in the light and you catch yourself staring a little and he grins at you. You welcome him in and he nods then heads towards the history section. You watch how he carries himself. Strong and steady with a soldier's confidence. You think a little about it, the strength those arms carry before your phone rings again...

Your hand flies to your phone and you finally silence the poor thing, the buzzing remaining like a dying animal, a fit allusion to your past relationship. You remember the glittering smirks of the ladies and your fiance's grin, eyes shadowed with greed as you stood in a winning dress. The bastard ruined your image and your future with one moment, pulling the girl to him for a steaming kiss. Flashes of lights as the crowding press pushed past you and left you in the dark.

Glittering lights turned to stars as you left the gala alone, pushing the cheating bastard and your ‘friends’, truthfully venomous colleagues, to the back of your mind. You had gotten back home to your flat, packed everything you could, and kicked it to stay with a friend. You could imagine the headlines. “Downbeat author loses job and life!” You groan wipe a hand down your face and force yourself into the present.

You stand and shift your weight from foot to foot. It was a practice Sam had taught you when you both first moved out. His extended family was in the publishing business and owned a bookstore in London proper with an attached apartment on top. It was easy for him to steal his best friend away and across the pond for a new life chasing words through the drizzly streets of London.

Put yourself in the current moment, and learn to reset yourself if needed!

His warm voice rings in your ears and you smile, stretching and taking stock of the current moment. It was currently 5:36 on a Thursday, it was the middle of February so it was cold outside, currently not raining but cloudy. If you look you can see covered strangers pass back and forth outside the windows of the bookshop.

It had been a few months since you settled in but they were full of meeting Sam’s family and getting your writing career back on your feet. After the shame of the breakup, you had taken an extended break from writing. However restful for you, your manager was insistent on getting a book finished by the middle of the year, or year's end at worst. So you dutifully spent your time manning the bookshop and writing when you could bear to. But every time you opened that blank white screen you grimaced, seeing...

A large thunk on the counter makes you jump. Your eyes and mind darting back to the present.

“Aye sorry lass.” A thick Scottish voice apologizes and you catch first his smile, he's teasing.

You shake yourself out of it and reach over the counter to grab at his book, A History of Military Maneuvers.

“You certainly chose some dense reading material,” You quip at him as an easy smile lights up your face as well. You take the book and bag it, mentioning the price as he passes you a card.

“It's not too bad when you live it.” He explains simply. That would explain the physique.

“Did you serve?”

“I did once, not anymore. Took one too many and it put me on the sidelines. I found quieter work around the city.” He says it calmly but you catch his hand and rub his shoulder. It seems a sore spot for him. You think of your career back in the States and frown.

“I don’t blame you,” a hurt passes over your eyes. Your writer's brain latches onto his character. He seemed to enjoy part of his career, but you can see the injury in your mind's eye now, one moment normal then the next some career-ending injury.

“What do you do? I've seen you in the store before.” He brushes a hand through his hair a little ashamed.

You raise a brow,

“Been watching have you? I am an author back in the States for your information, Mr…?”

He grins at you and offers his hand across the counter,

“John, John MacTavish but my friends just call me Soap.”

You return his handshake. His hands are rough and completely engulf yours, a fact that makes your heart skip a beat at the realization.

His phone then rings and he pulls away from you to check it.

“I got to get this love, but it was nice finally putting a name to the face. I'll be seeing ye around.”

With that Soap takes the bag and makes his exit into the cold evening. With his departure, you feel your spirits lift. Maybe, you think flexing your hand, there is a story to be written after all.

#simon riley fluff #simon riley x reader #cod mw2 2022 fanfic #ghost x reader #fanfiction #simon ghost x reader #simon riley x you #soap mactavish #soap and reader #slight soap mactavish x reader #On The Same Page

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genericpuff · 1 month

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Genuinely I would give anything to hear your thoughts or read more critical analysis of yours on other webcomics writing (*slides you Marionetta* I like the webtoon but there are some things in the writing that I'd like to see be discussed critically more often but the fandom focuses way too much on shipping. sighs..)

Anyway, you probably have been asked this before but are there any webtoons in particular you would recommend? :D

Oh lord, you don't know how many times a week I get asks in my inbox asking for my opinions on webtoons they're reading. It's really sweet that people wanna hear me talk about other works outside of LO, but unfortunately I just don't have the time to read as much as I used to, even keeping up on LO lately is getting really difficult 😅 I'm definitely keeping a list though of works to check out!

That said, I try not to read series on the basis of criticizing them because frankly I just... don't want to spend time reading something if people are only looking for me to rag on it? 😆 Of course I know that's not the only reason, I know there's also just the element of seeing me talk extensively about other works the way that I do with LO, but it's not really something I can turn on and off like that, I have to get really into a series to want to talk about it to that extent. So it often comes down to just luck of the draw :'0

Right now the series I'm keeping up the most on (or have completed and would absolutely 100% re-read):

Alfie (18+, it's porn with plot but the plot is REALLY GOOD , I SWEAR LMAO the art is gorgeous, the characterization is IMMACULATE, and it ironically tackles the subject of purity culture way better than LO ever has lol)

Theia Mania (the creator is often in my comment section / neck of the woods, she's been working on an Abduction of Persephone retelling for a long while now and has also tackled other myth retellings in her style! I always love seeing new pages of her work in my feed :' ) <3)

Tales from Alderwood (if you like fantasy and comedy, this one's great, the plot's really starting to get interesting and it's just got this really great sense of humor about it)

The Black Parade (this one's REALLY interesting, it's a comic-stylized version of My Chemical Romance's The Black Parade, using the songs as narration and sometimes even dialogue to tell a visual story, it's really cool and the art matches beautifully with the lyrics and style of MCR!)

A Tale of Two Rulers (this is a Legend of Zelda fancomic that poses the question, "What if Zelda and Ganondorf got married to solve their political crisis?" It updates a lot slower than most of the other comics I follow but the art and writing is so worth it <3)

Dogs of Future Past (and p much all of Lynx's Undertale comics which can be found in the link, seriously, THESE are the comics you wanna read if you wanna get into Undertale fanworks, they are PEAK)

Tamberlane (this one's an anthro comic, I normally don't read anthro but this one actually gripped me by the throat, the art is gorgeous and the character arcs so far have been great!)

The Mafia Nanny (okay it's legit so funny that I'm including this one here but I've been reading it the last couple days after seeing it basically beat out LO at the top of the trending tab for a couple days, so I figured I'd give it a shot, at first I was like "great more tropey shit" but the more I read it the more it's actually started to get pretty good, I'm holding out and hoping to god it stays that way LOL it's not especially deep or anything like that, but it's really fun and cute to read and the shipping of the main character within the narrative isn't too self-absorbed which I can always appreciate, I'd honestly be 100% fine with it if it didn't turn into a romance)

City of Blank (I talk about this one a lot here, but it's one of my favorite Originals right now, the art is super polished and the writing has gotten INTENSE, go check it out if you want some fun action / sci-fi storytelling!)

Time and Time Again (a time-travelling vampire and his werewolf boyfriend get into all kinds of misadventures, what more could you ask for?)

Touch of Divinity (like the Mafia Nanny, this is one I just started reading, it's got a very interesting premise so far and I'm looking forward to seeing where it goes!)

#if i ever do read marionetta then y'all will definitely hear about it LOL #ask me anything #ama #anon ask me anything #anon ama #recommendations #reading reccs #reading recommendations

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shiftylinguini · 8 months

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Fuck I Can't Write Crisis Pack:

@phoebe-delia asked in response to this fun lil ask game:

Do you have any advice for getting out of a slump/getting writing confidence back? . (for the ask anything) Do you have any advice for getting out of a slump/getting writing confidence back?

Now THIS. This is a good question, and something that is very much on my mind and has been for a while, as I am currently absolutely in the midst of this and trying to army crawl my way out. I don't have any magic bullets (is that the saying? idk) but I have been here before and i do have a small arsenal of tips or methods that I find can help me.

Here is my Fuck I Can't Write Crisis Pack (In no particular order):

Write anything

This is hardly groundbreaking advice, and it's also the hardest thing to actually do (imo) so do not beat yourself up if it takes a while to get to this. Basically, write ANYTHING―it can be aimless, it can be pointless, it can be crap (crap is subjective!! don't let the brain gremlins win!!).

Don't think about posting it, don't worry about anyone else ever reading it, just fling a few words onto a page and feel the rusty faucet turn on, proving to yourself that it still works.

Try and sus out what it is that's blocking you

Again this one is hard and annoying but functional. Once you can put your finger on the particular reason you're staring at a flashing black line on a blank page it can help you kick that reason off your lawn and into the bin.

And then, take it out of the bin and be kind to yourself about whatever that reason is. Maybe you feel shit because you're comparing yourself to others, your last fic felt like a lead balloon, you can't muster enthusiasm for what you once loved doing and fear that it's gone forever, you're projecting in a Tumblr post―whatever it is, it's something all the writers you admire and aspire to be like have felt, and been annoyed with themselves for, and so you can wrap it up in a blanket and put it on a shelf and be kind to it so it, (respectfully) shuts the fuck up.

(and remember, everyone feels insecure about their stuff. Like literally everyone, at some stage, feels like their stuff is rubbish)

Cheat on your OTP

Okay this one might not work for everyone, but it really does for me lol. Ruts (not the sexy kind) can often come with not wanting to engage in my usual ships, being annoyed by my lack of ability to fucking write them/anything/all my ideas taste like cardboard/bleh, and stepping out on them and reading something new can snap me out of it. Just, an injection of new ideas or scenarios or words or even just a little reprieve from being fed up with myself, which ideally, is why we're all here anyway.

(And then I come crawling back, and am welcomed with open arms haha)

In a similar vein:

Engage in media

This subtitle is genuinely terrible, i am sorry, LMAO, but essentially: find a piece of media that makes you go "oh, helLO sailor", unhinge your jaw like a snake, and consume it whole.

Let it nourish you, inspire you, excite you, making you feel SOMETHING, and then take that and think "fuck, what if i wrote bleepbloopblarp" and even if you write nary a single word, you've thought about it and that fucking counts.

It might be an album, a book, a song, a show, gifs of a hot person, the wikipedia summary of a movie, literally anything counts here if it makes you feel a twinge of creativity.

Ask yourself, what would Astolat do?

No for real. @candybarrnerd and I genuinely use this haha.

Worried your idea is stupid? Astolat would say write it.

Worried it's too weird? Nah, just write it.

It's dumb and no one will read it? Just write it for you *waggles eyebrows* (and then find out that yeah, nah, someone else will absolutely read this and be real fucking happy about it haha.)

Worried you're a one trick pony and have already written this fic before, like, and not even once before, and also you're projecting again in Tumblr post? WRITE IT AGAIN! As Astolat once said, "it's a fic so nice, I wrote it thrice".

It's good advice.

Make a friend or lean hard on the ones you have here

Misery loves company because it knows they'll come out of this together :). I know, I know, that's fucking NAFF, but fandom is all about finding like-minded freaks and blowing up their DMs because you saw a gif and now feel a kind of ways about it.

And lastly:

FUCK STATS!

I mean I love stats (yay validation!), but god can they make you feel like a worthless shit (hey where did my validation go :((( ). It can be really insidious, so piss that right off when it starts to fuck with your confidence or outlook on your own writing.

Hopefully there is something useful here, even if it's just looking at this advice and thinking "no that's shit, it's writing POISON" cos then you can maybe do the version you think is NOT shit, and that might work.

Good luck, fellow travelers!!

#thank you for this ask #this turned into projected cathrsis but i hope this helps if you are possibly feeling in a slump!!#on fic #writing #writing advice #our lord and saviour astolat #shifty turns an innocent ask into a therapy session #also is there a fucking name for the flashing space bar line on a word doc LMFAO there has to be right?? i do not know what it is

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cryptidcaptain · 2 years

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If I see one more stupid take on the stop oil van gogh protest im gonna lose it so in bullet points:

The painting is fine. It was behind glass. The person who threw the soup knew it was behind glass beforehand.

The UK is entering a cost of living crisis unlike any we've seen before (with the possible exception of Thatcher's Britain back in the 80s), and many people cannot afford to heat their homes. While oil and energy companies report record profits.

The point of this exercise was to demonstrate how much more people would care about even the thought of a painting being destroyed, compared to the reality of the lives that WILL be destroyed over the winter. When they can't yknow. Afford to eat or heat their homes.

No, they are not funded by Big Oil. Just Stop Oil DOES receive funding from the climate emergency fund which WAS started by Aileen Getty, yes. But she has zero active investments in the oil industry, and HAS spent a large amount of money sponsoring climate groups. Think of her as the Abigail Disney of oil.

The source of that conspiracy theory is a tiktok video and its mostly being reported in the telegraph which. Kinda says everything.

For people saying stuff like "but it had nothing to do with oil! Why don't you egg the houses of execs <3 Why don't you riot 😊 Why don't you kill oil execs uwu OK why don't you? I mean jesus be realistic. The rioting may come yet but this was a PUBLICITY STUNT. To raise awareness for their organisation.

If you are not from the UK/are from the UK and not familiar with the new protest laws, please refrain on commenting at all about method of protest.

The bill is as follows:

" [to] Widen the range of conditions that the police can impose on public assemblies to match existing police powers to impose conditions on public processions."

" [to] Broaden the range of circumstances in which police may impose conditions on a protest."

" [to] Amend the offence relating to the breaching of conditions"

" [to] Restate the common law offence of public nuisance in statute."

Meaning, any people doing ANYTHING the police don't like (up to and including holding BLANK SIGNS which happened after the queen died) can now result in arrest and forced dispersal (ie police violence). (There are more lines to the bill ive just chosen the ones relevant to this situation, but they're all on the gov website)

(Side note): I actually just read the page on gov.uk which I went on to copy the law and jesus christ they outright blame BLM protests for this. Like explicitly.

I BELIEVE i saw a story not that long ago about someone arrested under this bill being held without trial for like, months but I can't remember the details

In short people in the UK now have to get increasingly creative with how we protest, so as to avoid significant sentences. The two in this case were arrested for trespass instead of under this bill, which carries a significantly more minor penalty.

Shift your goddamn focus away from stupid conspiracies for a second and pay attention to what is happening in REALITY.

(If any of you make comments or send me stuff about this without at least attempting to fact check yourself beforehand im not responding, and deleting.)

#britpol

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mellowwillowy · 5 months

Text

𝐈

“I’ve always been fascinated by how the mystery stories genre works!” You beam at your boyfriend as you type out the script to your story, "But I could never write it out properly, only my sister does..."

The blue-haired man smiles your way, reading some of your printed scripts, "Either way, the stories you write are entertaining enough for the people to read."

It's a simple story where some people find themselves at the edge for more despite being a classic plot. The protagonist is a mystery writer nominated as the best-selling author after the protagonist's lover deliberately commits the crime written in the novel.

"Then~! The lover leads the public into reading his lover's work, and soon, the writer is acknowledged as a brilliant writer for being able to write a neat mystery and nicknamed the Time itself for writing something that happens in the future!"

The blue-haired man cocks his head to the side, his mid-length hair flowing to the side of his head, "Sounds romantic. I can't understand why people are so against this kind of love."

"How do you view love, Blue?" Blue shrugs as he chuckles lightly, "Well, to begin with, I think love is just a term for someone to devote themselves to the person they are forever grateful for."

Interested, you press him further, "So what about the romantic aspects? Are you implying that love is just universal, either platonic or romantic?"

Although Blue seems to stop to collect his thoughts, he recovers quickly, "Of course. Attachment love shared by family and friends... and a passionate love shared by... the two of us?"

If anything, you notice a hint of playfulness in his tone that is used to cover something much more sinister. "I've ever read that there are 8 types of love, does that mean we are both sharing the pragma?" (Pragma - Enduring Love)

"Interesting," Blue exclaims, "although sometimes I would think of myself as a mania." (Mania - Obsessive Love)

You smack his arm playfully, pouting, "Oh silence! You are not even close to that! Are you taking the role of the protagonist's lover again?"

"Aaaahhh~! But dear, I was only joking! Seriously, why do people view mania as something wrong just like the protagonist's lover?" You flick your lover's forehead, "Silly you, it's because one shouldn't abandon morals and let their life revolve around their lover."

This reminds you of something that has always been discussed online, of how a hero will sacrifice the loved one to save the world but a villain will sacrifice the world just to have the loved one safe.

"... It's confusing, love is surely confusing when you close your ears to the deductions made by the researchers." "Are you trying to say that you want to understand love yourself without having to read all those stupid reports written by professionals?"

Although he doesn't say anything wrong, you can't help but sulk at his words, "When you start to focus on the term 'Love', another term starts to surface..." "And what would that be?"

You stare at the screen of your computer, a blank open word page where you have not even written anything.

"Identity."

Blue's eyes widen at your answer as he watches your fingers type, "What if those who thought they have found their identity realize that they've never really found it until they are in 'love'?"

Your pinky finger hits the enter button and you begin to type even more, Blue speaks in a low voice, "Yes... this is it."

Identity Crisis. That is the title you decide on. While you can never write a mystery properly, you figure you will manage with how this story turns out. It only requires a conscience and a mind to write it out.

Blue's eyes do not falter from the title. You finally decide on the title of your own life.

#Yandere x Reader #Identity Crisis #Blue the Boyfriend #LIfE Project

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blackopals-world · 1 year

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Yuu meet Yuu

Ultimate crossover episode.

(Yuu)niverse girls and tried dad Fyodor Chernousky

@black-kuroba7

1 man and 10 girls. If your daughters were always fighting you'd be tried too.

Name guide:

Gardener!Yuu: Bambi

Chef!Yuu: Jun

Marine Biologist!Yuu: Kaia

Vet!Yuu: Zahara

Harpy!Yuu:Kree

Noble!Yuu: Eleanor

Dancer!Yuu: Anastasia

Maid!Yuu: Eliza

Tailor!Yuu: Devika

(???)Yuu: Yuuna

He just wanted one morning. One quiet morning.

"You dug up my carrots!" Bambi shouted as she slammed the front door open.

Jun barely flinched as she refilled Fyodor's coffee.

"I was making lunch and we ran out. Besides they are better of eaten than rotting in the garden." She said calmly.

Bambi was turning 10 shades of red as the spitfire readied a torrent of complaints.

"Kree! Give me back my bracelet!" Devi yelled running to the attic.

"You won't miss it!" The harpy responded flying off with the trinket in hand.

All Fyodor wanted was to finish his coffee.

"Eliza! My dress is wrinkled!" Elenor whined upstairs.

"Of course madam, I'll get right on that." The self-appointed maid responded cheerfully.

"Lizzy! Let the ghosts do it!" Fyodor yelled upstairs and heard the sigh of the young maid. Honestly, that girl.

Fyodor began taking stock of where the girls were and noticed there were 4 missing.

"Oto-san! Zahara trying to eat Florian!" Kaia tattled.

Nevermind.

Fyodor walked upstairs past the sprinting Kree and Devi who were playing tug a war over some fabric now. Eleanor was having a crisis over the state of her closet while Eliza tries to calm her down. And when Fyodor opened the door to Kaia's room he found her face down with Zahara holding her in a leg lock.

"Let go of your sister." He said simply.

"But Oupa, she started it. She insulted Toby." Toby was Zahara's pet turtle " So I said I'd turn her octopus into calamari."

"Get your big butt off me Zeti!" Kaia said trying to get her off.

"Let go, Zahara. You know Kaia didn't mean it. And Kaia don't start a fight you can't finish." He scolded before closing the door.

God, he swears his hangovers were getting worse.

That leaves the last 2.

Thankfully Yuuna was in their room reading or scrying. The book was blank.

"Where is Anna?" He asked.

"She flew as the rooster crows and the sun rises to torment the world. Turning the land into a hellscalp of light and burning agony." Yuuna said flipping a blank page.

"That's my girl. Fuck daylight." Fyodor raised his mug before finishing his coffee.

Anastasia left for dance practice like Yuuna said.

Unfortunately, the other 9 were getting louder. Fighting, bickering, and running.

"Girls! I hope you finished getting ready for class!" He yelled.

All the noise stopped. Then there was rapid scrambling as they rushed to their rooms and back out with their bags.

Fyodor watched them line up by the door.

"Lizzy don't forget your homework."

"I got it Keia."

"Eleanor can I borrow your glitter pen?"

"Don't forget your lunches!"

"I left my field journal in Bambi's room."

Soon enough the girls filed out after giving Fyodor a wave of goodbye.

Silence sweet Silence.

Fyodor almost felt bad about not telling them it was Saturday.

#gardener!yuu #maid!yuu #chef!yuu #(???)!yuu #harpy!yuu #noble!yuu #marine biologist!yuu #vet!Yuu #tailor!yuu #dancer!yuu #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland yuu #twisted wonderland oc #Fyodor Chernousky #twst yuu

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gillianthecat · 11 months

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WTF! tumblr. I just signed up for a new tumblr account (mostly because I'm procrastinating right now), using the app.

And it literally forced me to follow 5 tags and 4 blogs before it would let me even continue to the page where I could customize my account or search for anything. As far as I could tell it didn't even let me search for specific tags or blogs I wanted to follow, just gave me a list of tags to choose from, then a list of blogs based on those tags. And then when I went to unfollow those blogs right away, I found that tumblr had automatically signed me up to follow another 6 or 8 blogs! And yet still was saying I only followed 4.

This is fucked up for many reasons, but the biggest is that in the middle of this spam bot crisis people are automatically reporting and blocking blank blogs in their notes. But apparently tumblr is forcing new users to follow like a dozen blogs before they're even allowed to add a profile picture or title?!

I ask again, WHAT THE FUCK, tumblr?!

So unless this is some weird glitch that just happened to me (which it sure didn't seem like) new users are getting blocked by blogs right out of gate, and biggish blogs (because those are the ones that seem to end up on the suggestion list) are getting inundated with followers that seem to be bots but aren't, but there is no way to tell.

I ask one more time, WHAT THE FUCK, tumblr?!

I've never @ -ed staff before, but @staff, WHAT is the reasoning behind this decision? Or is it some weird bug or glitch that forced me to do this before taking me to set up my profile?

#tumblr #hellsite (derogatory)#tmblr life #the bot infestation

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spencer-is-dead · 5 months

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was talking with a friend about the lack of violence in the flashback arc today, and honestly I was kinda surprised when I realized that there isn’t much violence in the arc. We know Endo can do violent, like the cruise arc, so why isn’t there any violence in the arc? It is war, after all.

Well, I think it’s best demonstrated with the scene where he finds his mother’s body. It’s one page, and we don’t see anything, just [REDACTED]’s screams, and honestly, I think it’s so much more effective than showing her body. Sure, a scene similar to the one in the doggy crisis arc could’ve worked, but I feel like that scene was meant to be more shocking than anything. This scene, however, is meant to leave an impact on you. By not showing her body, it leaves it up to the reader to imagine what he saw. And I’m pretty sure it’s common knowledge that showing us the real picture is far less effective, because whatever happened, the reader comes up with worse.

Also, the two blank pages afterword (some of my favorite pages in the manga) really leave a lasting impact. It’s not just shock, it’s horror, it’s an empty, horrible feeling when you realize that this child just lost his mother. It feels real.

I also have a theory on an in-universe reason why we don’t see her body. It’s basically stated that he’s repressed most of his memories of his childhood, so even while remembering, his brain probably wouldn’t show him the memory.

Anyways that was just some thoughts.

#spy x family #sxf #sxf analysis #loid forger #sxf manga spoilers #sxf manga #oh look a competent thought #You don’t see that everyday

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gabessquishytum · 10 months

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ok, speedily written and half-thought-out spitballing based on the credit-card anon's Pregnant Warprize Hob idea, but he doesn't manage to escape entirely. He gets caught nearly out of the palace by one of the guards (it has no bearing on the rest of this but I'm imagining the Corinthian) and dragged back to Dream, who is furious. He thought that they were on the same page (love) and now Hob's trying to escape?!

I'm imagining that he's like promising to send down like all sorts of harsh punishments and Hob just. Blanks out. No thoughts, just fear. Which Dream is not used to anymore but he doesn't know that Hob has someone else to worry about now, so Dream has a bit of a crisis over maybe not knowing Hob as well as he thought…

So anyway, I'm thinknig he sends Hob to effectively solitary confinement for a period of time and becomes a bit (more) of a tyrant in the meantime. When he feels like he can face Hob again Hob's quite visibly pregnant and miserable and the whole thing comes out and Dream is accepting but still kinda mad and Hob does get punished, but with the pup in mind.

Everyone else keeps Mum about the fact that the King is marrying a commoner because they know what happens when he doesn't have Hob around to relieve him.

(I'm thinking for extra angst, him and past-Elenore had some form of preganacy problem, though I'm not sure which one)

-💾

Asjsjdjsj yes this is absolutely my kind of angst!!!

So maybe Hob has been pregnant before but had a pretty late-stage miscarriage (which is quite uncommon for omegas so everyone assumed that he fucked up somehow). When he finds out that Dream has knocked him up he absolutely goes in to panic mode. He's scared that something will happen to the pup for he just. Panics and runs. And doesn't get very far, before the Corinthian catches him and literally drags him back to Dream.

Obviously Hob should probably explain what's going on but he just. Can't make himself do it. He's terrified that he'll just end up losing the pup again anyway and then Dream will throw him away. He just stands there silently crying. Dream orders him to be locked up in some nasty tower where the food is much worse that he's gotten used to. Poor Hob is scared and now he's mad at Dream for not working out what's going on, so he just sits in the tower and tries to get through it.

After about 6 weeks Hob is dragged down and presented before the king again... and it's pretty obvious that he's pregnant. Especially since he's lost some weight. He keeps his arms wrapped around his belly while Dream just stares at him. He's like "is it mine?" And Hob looks at him like he's a fucking idiot (he is).

The Royal doctor orders Hob to rest as much as possible, and he's only really allowed to get out of bed to attend his own wedding. He would have preferred to be able to actually fit into the wedding clothes, but he's SO relieved that Dream is marrying him right away. Dream jokes that the marriage is actually his punishment for running away.

And the rest of the court are just so relieved that Dream is making jokes again.

Hob’s real punishment is having the Corinthian instated as his permanent guard. He kind of hates it, but he has to accept it to placate Dream. Anyway, he's not planning to run away again now that he knows he has a safe position as Dream’s spouse. And after several more months he delivers a healthy pup, and he feels like he can finally breathe easily again.

Dream melts at the sight of their pup lying on Hob’s chest. He's not just a king anymore - he's a husband and father, and Hob does a very good job of distracting him from all his problems and worries. It's fair to say that the whole court is a lot more relaxed, with Hob as consort.

#💾 anon #the sandman #dreamling #nsft #cw omegaverse #cw mpreg #cw miscarriage

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michaeljoncarter · 10 months

Note

What are your alltime favorite comics? Or just comics that you would recommend? Especially stuff that someone new could pick up without too much back reading to understand? You don't have to answer this if you don't want to but I'm looking for recommendations to branch out from just Batman/Batfam and just thought I'd ask!

this is all just off the top of my head, so i'm probably leaving out some Classics on accident, but (in no particular order):

Aquaman: Andromeda

Green Lantern (1990) (from Emerald Twilight (#48) on)

Gotham by Midnight

The Man of Steel (1986)

The Death & Return of Superman (Death of Superman, Funeral for a Friend/World Without a Superman, and Reign of the Supermen)

Superman: Last Son (Action Comics #844 - 846, #851, Annual #11)

Superman: Brainiac (Action Comics #866 - 870) & The New Krypton Saga (concludes with War of the Supermen, which is for some reason not on that reading guide)

World's Finest (2009)

Green Arrow: Year One

Green Lantern/Green Arrow

Green Arrow (1988)

The New Teen Titans (1980), Tales of the Teen Titans, and The New Teen Titans (1984)

Outsiders (2003)

Arsenal (1998)

Titans (1999)

Titans (2008)

Deathstroke (2016)

Steel (1994)

Aquaman: Time & Tide

L.E.G.I.O.N.

R.E.B.E.L.S. (all good, but i especially love from #15 on for kory content)

Aquaman: Death of a Prince

Tempest (1996)

the whole war of light era of green lantern, which i have a bigass reading guide for, but Red Lanterns & Red Daughter of Krypton in particular

Convergence: The Titans

Convergence: Green Lantern/Parallax

Convergence: Green Lantern Corps

Valor (1992) (the first few issues kind of drag, but it picks up quick (after #10, specifically)! the D.O.A. arc is an all-time fave for sure, and Valor #19 might actually be my all-time favorite single comic book issue point blank period)

roy's titans era (New Titans #100 - 130)

The Trial of Superman & Reign of Doomsday (these have literally nothing to do with each other, but we're grouping them together because neither one of them is particularly good. i mean, they're not terrible or anything, but really, they're only faves because i'm a huge sucker for storylines that involve the entire superfam lol)

Superman: The Black Ring (this one is here just because i appreciate how incredibly HECTIC it is. lex 1v1s a gorilla in the middle of the jungle, meets death, becomes a space god, builds a lois sexbot that ends up having been possessed by brainiac the entire time. also slade is there for like 2 pages solely to lose his shit and run around screaming like a little girl. the best kind of comic book insanity. magnifique)

those 5 minutes pre-reboot where damian joined the titans in a way that wasn't annoying as hell (Teen Titans (2003) #88 - 91, Red Robin #20, Teen Titans (2003) #92)

Wonder Woman (1987) (post-crisis ww & superman are both all-time faves, but this is a much better standalone read because it's way more self-contained & not constantly jumping between 9 different titles. again, all good imo, but i'm much more partial to everything post-artemis's introduction in #90 <3)

Superboy (1994) (ngl, i didn't super love the majority of this book. there's a LOT of good for sure, but it is very 90s, and that's not always a good thing. it's not terrible (apart from the romance aspect), and i'd still recommend reading it for sure, but there was definitely a lot of skimming and skipping around when i read through. ~#59 is where i started to find myself skimming a lot less, so if you find yourself having a hard time getting into it, too, i'd say just start there, then go back & read the earlier issues later)

post-crisis superman in general (so good, but holy fuck is it a pain in the ass to read. there were 600 superman titles running at all times, and EVERY single arc bounced between damn near all of them. i really want to make a ridiculously long reading guide for it, too, one day, but for now, you can fight your way through using this with me, if you'd like)

i'm still just starting to break into legion comics myself, so i don't think i can really give good recs for them just yet. i'm really enjoying them so far, though, so it's worth a mention. if you enjoy just jumping right into the deep end with 0 context like i do, i just started the 90s legion halfway through via superboy & valor. no idea what the hell's going on or who anybody is half the time, but that's just part of the fun. it's like sink-or-swim style language immersion but for ridiculous comic book people who talk entirely in references i don't understand even a little

i started with the valor arc in Superboy (1994) #17 - 19, then the following the Future Tense arc, and i just kinda kept reading Legionnaires & Legion of Super-Heroes (1989) from there. also picked up The Legion (2001) with #25, where kon joins up, with zero context for anything that'd happened before in that. this is an objectively terrible way of doing things, but also very fun as long as you don't mind a learning curve

also special mentions for a couple single issues that have always stuck out to me for some reason:

Justice League of America (2006) #11 (feel the need to put like... a claustrophobia warning on this one lol? a very anxiety-inducing read! be warned!)

Superman #712 (krypto-centric issue post-kon's death in Infinite Crisis. makes me want to scream every time i think abt it <3)

and i know you probably meant dc, but tbh most of my All Time Faves are marvel, so i have to mention a few:

X-23 (there are like 3 different volumes, and they're all so incredibly 2000s. i love them all dearly)

Wolverine: Origins

Captain America (2005)

Winter Soldier: Winter Kills

Avengers/Invaders

Old Man Logan (2015) & (2016)

Black Widow (2010)

Marvels (1994)

The Torch (2008)

Gambit (2012)

Gambit & Bishop: Sons of the Atom

Rogue (2004) (not good. kind of objectively terrible, actually, but i love rogue and i love rogue & shiro's relationship AND i love the bisexual implications with blindspot, so… here we are. if you aren't a huge rogue fan already, you will almost certainly not enjoy this lol)

Dark Wolverine & Daken: Dark Wolverine (THE absolute fave. akihiro is what a good % of the batfandom thinks jason todd is/was. bisexual, evil, obsessed with his own father. check, check, and check with a weird, violently homoerotic relationship with the punisher the cherry on top. also marjorie liu stealth confirming johnny storm's bisexuality via putting him in an absurdly toxic relationship with akihiro for like 2 issues remains both incredibly iconic and absolutely hilarious to me. 10/10/10)

in terms of more recent comics, i've pretty much only been keeping up with marvel

Captain America: Sentinel of Liberty (2022) (pretty much everything else going on (esp everything with bucky) is kind of annoying, but it has my favorite steve characterization like… maybe ever)

New Mutants (2019) (yeah, everything about krakoa era x-men is just kind of inherently annoying, but this one came outta left field near the end there with some of my favorite writing for madelyne pryor in a while and the dani moonstar & madelyne pryor enemies-to-lovers arc i didn't know i needed but am now fully obsessed with)

Midnight Suns (2022) (love a good rag-tag team of characters who have no business being on a team together. substitute teacher blade is such a powerful concept, it immediately made this an all-timer for me, and logan being drawn approximately 4ft shorter than everyone around him cemented it as a 10/10)

aaand finally, i've also really been enjoying dynamite lately. Vampirella/Red Sonja (2019) is where i got onboard with them. you don't have to know jack about these characters or universe beforehand (i didn't!), and i really can't recommend it enough, especially if you're someone who loves stories with time travel and/or bisexual vampire women

this is so messy, and i'm definitely forgetting a lot here lol, but hopefully this helps & you find something you like! good luck & have fun!

#ask #anonymous #comic recs #yeehaw

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emanation-aura · 8 months

Text

What if Joker got a Palace in the Third Semester AU: the unhinged explanation.

Goro had looked up Kurusu last night, using old police files he wasn’t technically sure he had access to any more, but he was past giving a shit. The arrest record and documents listing charges against him he’d taken from the chief interrogator— they were still there, but curiously blank, in a way only cognitive distortion could manage. His hometown existed, but an illegal search of Shido’s census database didn’t reveal anybody living in the Kurusu household; not Akira Kurusu, not his parents or literally anyone else. The whole thing was a baffling mystery that had exhausted him to the point of passing out. The violence of clearing Shadows gives his aching mind a bit of clarity, though, and with it, a chilling thought. Akira Kurusu has been erased from reality.

Set from Goro's perspective. Instead of waking up on January 1st to a changed reality, on that day, Akira suddenly disappears. He is not gone from the Phantom Thieves' cognitions, but he is physically missing, and stranger still are his blank arrest records and the existence of the Kurusu household in a government census that Goro has completely transparently and legally obtained, despite the fact that "Akira Kurusu" does not exist.

“If he’s been erased from reality, does that mean Maruki overwrote his… his existence itself?" The low, simmering anger in her voice and the way she drops the honorific for Maruki speaks volumes about how Kurusu’s absence has radicalised Yoshizawa against Maruki’s tempting demands. It doesn’t quite satisfy him, because Kurusu is still missing and Yoshizawa is far too innocent for her own good; but it is enough to give him confidence in her teamwork, at least. “I have my doubts about that,” Goro says. He weighs his words carefully, trying to construct the evidence in a way that makes sense. “If he were truly overwritten from this reality, the Phantom Thieves wouldn’t remember their friend; they do, albeit in a very limited way.”

Yoshizawa hums thoughtfully. “Maruki managed to overwrite the cognitions of all the Phantom Thieves into believing their dead or estranged relationships had returned. He has no trouble writing people into reality; it should follow that he can write someone out of reality, but it seems while an effort was made, it wasn’t complete enough.” “Indeed.” Goro hides the modicum of surprise he feels at Yoshizawa’s brains; she’s no detective, but she’s decided smarter than Goro had given her credit for. “To support your conclusion: the papers on which his arrest record was printed still exist, even if the pages are blank. The census database indicates that the Kurusu household is empty, but also that it exists.” It would be a fascinating conundrum if he wasn’t under imminent threat of this cognitive reality. Either Kurusu has been imprecisely written out of this reality, or… “What if he’s currently residing in another plane of existence?”

In this AU, I basically postpone Kasumi/Sumire's internal crisis until after they have figured out what the fuck happened to Akira. "Kasumi" and Akechi enter the Odaiba Palace as usual despite the lack of Joker, find out it's Maruki, but he doesn't show "Kasumi" the traumatising videos of her past life for reasons untold.

“As you said, it is unlike Maruki to imprecisely remove him from reality. If he were so intent on giving his friends their paradise, he would either allow Kurusu to exist to be their friend, or overwrite his existence completely so the Phantom Thieves fully immerse themselves in the fantasy of their desired lives, which all supposedly took place before they met Kurusu.” Madarame’s pupil, the Nijima sisters and their father, Wakaba Isshiki, Kunikazu Okumura… the only exception is a human Morgana, but Morgana has always been an exception. “Instead Kurusu exists as a memory and artifacts of his existence weren’t properly erased. Perhaps, due to his… unique powers, he was able to separate himself from this version of reality before Maruki got to him.” It’s a stretch, but at the same time, the incongruity of the entire fucking Metaverse continues to burn a hole through his brain, so really, nothing is going to stop him at this point. “Crow-senpai…” Yoshizawa is hesitant, as if she is also grasping how tenuous the connection is. But then her face hardens in an expression he’d thought her incapable of: sheer, raw determination. “The Metaverse is an alternate plane of existence.”

Goro and "Kasumi" figure out that Palaces apart from Maruki's simply cannot exist, because technically, reality itself is Maruki's Palace; he is spreading his cognitive belief (distortion) to the entire world via god powers. With such overwhelming cognitive control, no "real" place exists for cognitive distortion to occur, because "reality" is already just "cognition" by Maruki.

They try Mementos, sure. Mementos is the collective unconscious, and while Persona-users can't have Shadows, if one is being perceived by the collective unconscious, one is also technically part of it: AKA, if the Shadows in Mementos registered Joker as like, a person, proof of his existence still exists in the cognitive world. (Of course said cognitive world is currently fusing with reality but I digress.) They try inputting Joker's name into the Mementos Nav to see if it will register him in the public unconscious, but unfortunately, no dice.

But Joker is special. He is the Wild Card, and unbeknownst to Goro or "Kasumi", he has access to the Velvet Room, a place 'between mind and matter, dream and reality'. Not saying that it's simple enough for him to just escape to the Velvet Room, but he's always been special, and has powers that none of them understand. So strange things always happen to him, and well:

“He can’t be totally gone,” Goro tries to reason, more for himself than Yoshizawa. If he has to try and convince the Phantom Thieves to face reality and defeat Maruki by himself, he is going to scream. “Evidence of his existence is improperly erased, meaning his cognition has not fully disappeared, even if Mementos doesn’t perceive him. If so—” Yoshizawa suddenly goes very, very still. “There is one other possibility,” she murmurs almost disbelievingly. It strikes Goro the way lightning skewers a tree. It would make sense, though. Maruki physically resides in his Palace because his distortion extends to the entire world; ergo, the entire world is technically his Palace. If Kurusu were physically residing anywhere else, it would be a cognitive reality under his control, not one where he'd been erased… “No,” Goro says out of sheer disbelief, the same time Yoshizawa flicks her finger to the ‘Palace’ tab and says in a somehow-perfect voice that doesn’t shake: “Akira Kurusu.” “Candidate found.”

Akira doesn't have a physical location for his distortion to center on; Metaverse Palace access depends on target/location/distortion to find routing, and location has thus far always been physical (Shujin, shack, Shibuya/Tokyo, Futaba's room, Okumura Foods company HQ, courthouse, Diet building). But somehow he's managed to escape Maruki's reality through a Palace of his own.

And, look. I've read a lot of Joker gets a Palace fics. The keywords vary from fic to fic; distortion is commonly masquerade / prison / theatre, or anything reasonable construed to separate facets of the social self. Location also varies, but less; I've seen Leblanc / his room / all of Tokyo / the entire world.

I'm not going to do anything particularly new either. But the keyword for location in this AU is going to be Akira's heart.

It's not a physical location, obviously. But it is also a very fitting metaphor for a Phantom Thief turned Palace owner who knows exactly what distortion is. It also provides a convenient respite from Maruki's reality, because "Akira Kurusu's heart" is not part of Maruki's cognition the same way "courthouse" or "Diet Building" might be. So when transported there by the Metaverse, "Kasumi" probably gets a flood of terrible memories, since she is in a plane of existence where she truly and only exists as Sumire.

As for distortion... I haven't decided yet, but I'm leaning towards prison. (rubs hands) it will slot nicely with the emotional repression angle: a prison with high walls and iron spikes, perched on a stormy island and impenetrable to all. Akira truly deludes himself in believing his heart is an impenetrable fortress where all his feelings must stay locked up... forever. Goro and Sumire are basically fighting to open the doors in his heart and stopping him from repressing his feelings, which is some dramatic irony with Mr. Black Mask doing the infiltration.

No real details yet, but I do want there to be a perfect replica of the interrogation room, including all the abuse and drugs, because poor akiren is probably repressing his trauma over that too :( I wonder how Black Mask Goro would react to seeing the interrogation room in full, bloody detail? Plus having Sumire along for the ride, who didn't know that this happened, making them the two absolute worst people to be witnessing this side of him.

Anyway, Third Semester Palace is more interesting to me than a post-game one because of all the wonky shenanigans around Maruki's control of reality. If reality is Maruki's "Palace", then the Wild Card (who resists by his very nature; see how he and Goro are the only ones sane) defends himself by escaping to another plane of existence. Unfortunately, one option is forming a Palace, which Akira was already on his way to doing because [insert fanon and this guy's trauma over losing Akechi and the interrogation room and the social burden of being an unwanted criminal branded to him for what seems like the rest of his life]. This all could have been avoided if Lavenza, but there would have been no AU for me to brainrot about, so.

(Why doesn't Maruki show "Kasumi" her trauma when Goro and her show up in the Palace? Butterfly effect: not from Joker being gone, but from Akira having a whole-ass Palace. Akira Kurusu, the kid Maruki therapised for nearly a year and formed a deep bond with. The saviour complex in Maruki compels him to focus on dismantling Akira's Palace, which he tries to do by cognitive "brute force" rather than Goro and Sumire's infiltration. So he's too distracted to harass "Kasumi".)

Technically, Maruki and Akira "doing battle" with cognition (Akira retreating from the overwritten reality hastily; Maruki trying to delete the Palace) implies a metaphysical plane where all Palaces/cognitive worlds exist in a same... "place" where they can cohabit, but that just seems like a dangerously close brush with persona 3's Sea of Souls where Door-kun is sealed and I am running out of steam to think more.

I wrote 1,500 words in a frenzy for this AU and had to share some here before I lost all my inspiration.

#persona 5 #goro akechi #persona 5 joker #akira kurusu #takuto maruki #how do you even tag yoshizawa??#third semester p5 #fic writing #i wrote this post at 3am sometimes funny things happen to my words #persona 5 fanfiction

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vitzi9 · 6 months

Text

Spider Soccoro

Spider x Human!Gn!Reader

Masterlist if you want to read my other things.

TW/CW: angst? with happy ending, reader is disabled (leg deformity, they can't walk long), reader is in an existential crisis, both are 18-19, one of reader's leg is bigger than the other.

I feel like reader's only personality is to be disabled??? i really hope it doesn't look like it to you. i feel like this is also cringe. I have no idea how to make romantic scene guys I'm sorry i've never held anyone's hand. I also feel like he's ooc

i got some kind of blank page syndrome and couldn't write anything for days (months) and i feel like i regressed in writing

I also really need to publish this it's taking so much place in my drafts. It's not amazing but it's not so bad either. Don't worry, Ethan Landry fic are coming.

(28/10/2023) (9 172 words)

Everyone was in a rush at the lab. You knew they were preparing an expedition. Norm would come talk to you soon, you wonder what stupid excuse he'll invent this time.

Something along the lines of 'it's dangerous', 'we won't be long', bla bla bla. You're used to it by now.

You suppose you're old enough to go back on Earth, now. But you were staying here with Norm since your parents did so years before. They died in the big war with Jake Sully. Well, your mother did survive, as to why you're here. But she only had the strength to give you life before losing her. So, yeah, you never really had a family, nor did Spider.

So, to compensate, he founds himself the Sullys, his new family. And you had Norm and your studies. It was all you had here. The problem is that what you considered your true family was him, Spider. He hated humans. Even though he was one. And, somehow, you understand him. So, you suspected he wasn't really fond of you. At least not anymore.

Especially since you were continuing your researches on Pandora's fauna and flora instead of simply accepting it and living with it as it is. Without trying to understand it and simply living with it.

Norm enters your dorm and smiles at you, as you predicted. You smile back. He starts his speech as usual: asking if you're okay, if you slept well, if your researches are progressing, if you're not too bored. And finally, he tells you the real reason of his presence here.

"We discovered this grove, you know ? Plants out there have exceptional medical virtues that we're yet to study.

-Good, when are we going ? "

The embarrassed face of Norm told you that it wasn't that simple.

"About that..."

Norm clears his throat. He begins a round walk in front of you to evacuate his anxiety.

"You don't have an avatar. It's well too dangerous to bring you with us. With the others, we decided that you should stay here. It's the best for you. And, you know, with your leg... he scratchs his forehead, embarrassed. We won't be long anyway and we'll bring back some of the flowers to study them here. You won't miss anything.

You knew he was lying. Firstly, despite the fact that you don't own an avatar, everyone on the team have one. For this reason, they won't have any difficulties in escorting you. Moreover, there is few to little predators interested in harming Humans. The only danger to which you are exposed therefore comes down to the environment in general. Which is mountains, severe weather, falls or any other natural obstacle that are easily avoidable things if you are on the back of one of the avatars of the team.

Secondly, you know for a fact that Norm won't collect any flowers. He forbids it. To him, and the team, disrupt the natural cycle of Pandora is a direct outrage to Eywa. If a plant grows at a certain place, then you shouldn't disturb it. Eywa knows and predict everything. Each molecule has a place and a role to play in this planet. At best, Norm will bring back a single petal to study but that will be all.

Clearly, you're not allowed to come because you're a burden.

"I'll be alone?"

He looks surprised for a moment. Norm probably wasn't expecting you to be so cooperative. But hey, what more can you do? They all already think you're a kid, freaking out now will only confirm that.

"Mike will be there. If you need help, just go to him directly in his quarters."

Mike is unsociable. He never leaves his laboratory except for vital needs. Plus, even though he stays with you, he's really sarcastic and sometimes hurtful. What Norm is telling you is that you'll be alone.

"When will you be back?

-Probably in two or three days. It won't be long."

Norm smiled softly at you. You don't smile back. He places his hand on your head, as if to reassure you.

"Don't do anything stupid while we're gone, huh? I'm counting on you."

Either way, it's not like there's much you can do here. There is nothing stupid to do. Norm tells you that you'll have to warn Spider if you see him, then he smiles at you, taking you in his arms. His hand strokes your back comfortingly.

"We'll be back soon, don't worry. If you're bored, I have old movie tapes in my room. But not a word to Jake, that idiot would be able to steal them from me."

You believe it was a joke. After all, you and Jake weren't close. Since he started a family, he seems to pretend to know nothing about Humans. Besides, why would you be friends with a forty-something married with children? It was obvious that you weren't going to tell him anything.

But Norm was repeating how Jake too was disabled and how you two could bond and he'd teach you plenty of things and... Seriously, what the hell ? No, you won't bond with him. You don't care that he was in a wheelchair for Eywa's sake. It's not a funny common point.

And you found it mostly humiliating how Norm simply saw you as the fragile weak kid. You have a personality too, you're not only disabled. You like things, you do things in your free time. You're not dying. But he seems to forget that too often. You're nineteen (less ? or more? You can't tell) ! You're not a kid anymore, you know how to handle yourself!

After a few final goodbyes, the avatars leave the lab. You watched them leave from the windows, tears of frustration buried deep inside of you. It was so unfair how you were always alone. You were born here. You have the right to want to explore, right? But no, always always always alone. It's frustrating.

Besides, you didn't feel comfortable alone here. There was not a sound. Only the fine roar of the machines in the background. You could hear your heartbeat as if shared by a speaker. With every step you took, the metal floor echoed throughout the base. You couldn't stand the noise: it made you anxious. You had the terrible feeling of being lost, alone, in the middle of space.

Finally, you returned to your room. You threw yourself head first on the bed, smothered your tears in your cushion and then slept for a while. To lull yourself to sleep, you ran your fingers through your hair and scratched your head. When you woke up hours later, nothing had changed. That same anxiety-inducing silence still resided. You stood up, then stared dreamily at the vegetation outside the base from the main hall window.

To be a Na'vi, what a dream. Browse these lands without worrying about anything. Flying on the back of an Ikran. To jump, climb, run in Pandora. Breathe its air. What would you give to be able to do so. What would you give to finally live.

To take your mind off things, you immerse yourself in your studies. You always do that, anyway. There was this flower which, surprisingly, was curative for Human but toxic for the Na'vi.

You begin by taking various samples when the heavy door of the laboratory opens with a loud hiss. Spider comes in, a big silly smile on his face that quickly fades when he sees you. There's not a sound when your eyes meet and a duel begins.

You, wondering where he had been wandering again to come back this dirty. Him, probably thinking that you have no life to work all day like you do. As usual, his cheeks are bright red. Because of his running around all day, he always come back sweating bucket and looking like a crayfish. He looks away first to rush straight to his room, without a word. You chuckle bitterly.

Yeah, he really hates you.

It was several hours later that you decided to stop your activities. You had tried to waste as much time as possible on that damned plant but who were you trying to lie to. It was terribly pointless, brimming with boredom.

You didn't check to see what Spider was up to since he got here. You were hoping he had showered. At least the body. He had a habit of putting his dirty hands all over the lab. You complain but sometimes you wish he had his hands in your business. At least you two would talk. Even for something as simple as scolding him.

He was the only boy your age. You used to play as kids. But with years, you drifted apart. As soon as you were both fifteen, towards puberty, he left and preferred his adventures. Somehow, you can't blame him. You would have done the same if you could.

The lab was still quiet. Too calm, perhaps. Your mind wandered to the boy living here. How was he so quiet? Usually he enjoys jumping and running around. Maybe you're disturbing him? He's not used to you two being alone together in the lab. And since you don't talk to each other as much anymore, maybe he's embarrassed to go out?

It's silly, you live here and it's impossible to avoid someone on such a small base. You see each other constantly. Well, if he doesn't love you, there's nothing you can do about it. Despite your sadness. You smile weakly. It's that you two had fun when you were kids. You so wish you could talk to him without just asking about Norm or the team…

Ready to go back to your room, you check one last time that you've put the equipment away correctly before turning around. Your action barely started that your chest collides with someone's body. Your heart misses a beat.

You jump and step back, your lower back hitting the desk causing a whine of pain to escape from your throat. You close your eyes, catching your breath as your hand rests on your chest as if to stop your heart from breaking out. Has he been there long? He was waiting behind your back without saying anything? Why get so close to you?

"Spider!" you sigh. "Don't do that again, I almost had an attack…"

He stands in front of you, arms crossed high over his bulging chest and chin proud. Why is he standing like that? Who is he trying to impress? You look him up and down for a moment. He cleaned himself and he doesn't smell bad. He really showered ? That's a miracle. Your gaze must have been more insisting than you thought since he seems to curl up on himself, lowering his eyes to the ground.

"You uh… do you need anything?" you ask, calming your heartbeat still rapid after such a fright.

“Where's everyone? He asks. Of course he'd ask that.

You pass by him, towards the hallway of the dormitories. You don't show it but you are terribly uncomfortable talking to him. You're embarrassed ? You can't really pinpoint it.

-They're gone exploring a place. They should be back in a few days." you answer without looking at him.

Not a sound. Yet you know he's still there, in front of the desk, staring at you. What was he waiting for? He acted weird. Spider was surprising, it's the least you could say, but he's not one to sneak up on people. Usually he jumps on them screaming.

"You're alone ?" To this, you only respond with a hum.

You didn't expect the discussion to last this long to be honest. You who wanted him to talk to you so bad, were more uncomfortable than anything else.

Recently, you have memories of your childhood that come back when you look at him so you avoid his face as much as possible. It was last night, an old memory came back to you. The two of you, hiding under the bed. You were laughing for nothing. You must have been ten or eleven. You kissed before giggling like idiots.

"But Mike is in his room." you add. Even though he knew as well as you that meant you were alone.

You don't know why you remembered this moment. It was weird too, considering Spider was with Kiri now.

"Where did they go?

-I don't know, Spider. They went to explore somewhere."

It was as if he wanted to force the discussion. He followed you down the hall until you came to your bedroom door. He was behind you again. His chest inches from your back. You wondered for a moment why he seemed so attached to you.

"You uh… Do you want to come with us later? We're going to watch the eclipse and it's really beautiful so…

The face of the Sullys appears before your eyes like a distant memory. You try to unlock your room but the presence of the boy behind you stresses and disconcerts you.

"Thank you Spider, I'll consider it.

-Oh, you have something to do first? What are you working on?

You frown before finally turning to face him. He takes a few steps back noting your abusive proximity. His face was flushed but his eyes never left yours.

-I thought you weren't interested?

It's not that you thought, in fact, you were sure of it. He had told you himself that what you were doing was boring, several times. So you were rather surprised.

"It's just…" Finally, he sighs and doesn't finish his sentence. "We'd be really happy to spend time with you."

You had doubts on that. Neteyam is the portrait of his mother. He doesn't like humans. For him, you're an alien. Lo'ak probably doesn't know you. At least he must not have noticed your existence. You're just a regular scientist to him, like the dozens there already is.

Kiri only talks to you when she wants to see her mother. And even then, she usually asks her questions to Norm. Tuk has surely never seen you. Neytiri, her mother, doesn't like knowing her close to you and to 'sky people' in general.

And Spider, ah, Spider. Spider ignores you. He never asked you to leave the lab with him again since your 'separation'. The day he decided he wasn't your friend anymore.

"Oh really ?" It was ironic. And it was obvious.

Spider was embarrassed. Your fault, surely. But you had your reasons. You didn't give yourself the opportunity to think about it, but it had hurt you. Enormously. It's so hard to be in your position. The only child like you, your age, decided to cut you out of his life overnight.

You only have him. He's the only reference you have. You don't even know what human children look like! You wanted to grow with him, discover Pandora with him! But, hey, guess he doesn't want someone who can't even move. It's humiliating to think that the only young person of the same race as you, hates you. Would it have been the same on Earth? You would have been hated?

You spent years growing up alone, without friends. Because Norm isn't for sure close to a friend. He can be considered as your father figure but not someone you'd share your secrets with. When was the last time you played hide and seek ? When was the last time you played tag ?

You don't know, days, months and years are all blur in your mind. Everyday is the same. Days are mixing into each other.

"They don't really have opportunities to talk to you, so the eclipse is a good way to get to know each others. The Sully are really cool, you know.

Probably even nicer than you if he abandoned you for them. He's lying, too. Because there are plenty of opportunities here in the lab as you never move far. If they really wanted to talk to you, they would have.

-I can't walk in Pandora with my leg, Spider. You know it." your tone was harsh, wanting to make him realize just how little he knows of you now.

The truth is, you can walk. You can try to train your body to walk longer but you need to be accompanied to do so. You can't walk alone in the forest of Pandora. You can fall, you can get attacked, get lost. Anything. But nobody wants to help you. So you're stuck in the lab and the more you're stuck, the less you walk and you lose the habit of walking and your body weaken. It's a vicious circle, really.

Norm simply gives you an treatment and everyone call it a day. It's a sort of machine which massage your muscles to soften or muscle them or something. You don't do it anymore. So it's not important. You don't blame Norm, he's a busy man. He tells you to apply some cream to ease the pain, you don't do it either.

All of this to say, you won't go with him. Because there is high chance your leg will just give out before them and it'll be the most shameful event of your life. And since thinking is all you can do here, you'll think about it until your death. So it's a big no.

-But I thought you could still walk?

-But I thought I was 'too weak and broken' ?"

Spider is left speechless before you. Mouth gaping and searching his words. He said that to you multiple times as kids. Norm had told him you weren't, which was true. But Spider meant no harm by saying that as you'd always tell him he was 'stupid'. It was a fair exchange, really. Just two stupids kids nagging each other. So yeah, maybe you went really low on this one.

But you were hurt and you weren't kids anymore.

You already spent years alone, what's some more ? You could talk to him, tell him how you missed him, how you forgive him and go with him stare at the eclipse, but you don't. Instead, you widen the gap between you. Probably because you hate yourself so you want to ruin your own life, loving to be tortured. The door finally unlock before you.

You look at Spider one last time, offering him a tight lip smile and enters your room, closing the door shut behind you. You stay put beside the door, staring at your room mindlessly. You had no reasons to come here in the first place, but you wanted to escape him.

Glaring at your bed, you decide another nap would do you good. You just have to make the days pass by quicker so everyone come back and you're not alone with him anymore.

Sometimes, you wonder how they're doing on Earth. If it would have been better if you were there instead of Pandora. Because being on a beautiful planet like this one without being able to explore it and being considered an alien is pure torture. The worst is that you'll never get an avatar, it being too expensive. Or so the other scientists told you.

You'll just stay here, being the fragile human, weaker, smaller, with a shorter life.

Then you think about Spider: Why did he suddenly want to bring you outside ? Why did he want you to be with his friends ? Why did he even talk to you ? Why did he leave you ? And, finally, the question haunting you, would he do it again ?

Staring at the cream on your nightstand, you think putting some again wouldn't do harm. Just in case you want to try to walk outside. Just in case. Staring at your leg with your medicine smeared in your palm, you observe how it's all swollen. You poke it with your index, a mark is left.

You massage your sore muscle, asking yourself if this is really working or if that is only a placebo effect. Once everything is done, you place your legs beside each others and compare them. You chuckle humorlessly in seeing the size difference.

You'll never be able to explore Pandora.

When you were still a kid, Spider and you asked for a room with windows. Lot of them. This way, even past your curfew you'd still be able to see outside. Even though you had bunk bed, you were always finding a way to sleep on the ground to face outside.

Tomorrow, we'll go there, he'd say, I'll show you this tree, he'd say, Jake brought us there, he'd tell you. And he was always honoring his words and brought you everywhere.

For a while, it was perfect. Because as you were always walking, your legs were gaining muscle ! But Spider always wanted to go further and further and further to the point where he just couldn't take you with him.

You didn't understand at first because he always had time for you. He was having fun with his 'siblings', the sully, but he would still come back to the lab to play with you. But then he just stopped. When he was coming back to the lab, it was really late in the evening and he was out like a light.

Then he grew up and you went separate ways, he had his own room, you had yours. And no windows could be seen in yours. Because now, you hate looking outside.

You don't want to sleep, but you're bored and wants to pass the day. You walk mindlessly in circle, thinking of what you could do without leaving your room. At first, you try to paint, but you're quickly bored. You try to read a book but as you already read them multiple times, you're quickly bored, too.

You write, draw, try to sleep but you can't shake the uneasy feeling inside of you. Why did he come talk to you ? What does he want ? You're on your back, slotted comfortably between your cushions when you realize that your throat is dry.

You're thirsty. So you have to drink, outside of your room. You sigh, passing your hand on your forehead. You hope deeply Spider left because you seriously don't want to talk to him right now.

You get up without a sound, putting your ear against the door to see if someone's here. No sound, good. You rush straight to the kitchen like area. You're delighted when it is indeed confirmed that no one is inside.

No one is inside.

You should have checked before because outside the base, a few meters away from the windows, you see Spider, Kiri and Lo'ak sat on the grass laughing together. You tense, you turn your back to them, praying they don't see you.

You grab a glass of water at the speed of light, but too slowly as the heavy door of the base open. You drink it in one time, put it back on the counter and start leaving.

"Hi...! calls Kiri, embarrassed. She knew you were trying to leave, that's why she sounds sorry.

You freeze. You can't ignore her, she did nothing wrong. You'd just be mean. So you turn your head a little, smiling politely. Spider isn't here, nor is Lo'ak. You're reassured.

-Hi Kiri. Norm is not here at the moment but you have free access to the laboratory if you want. you recite, used to this same discussion.

-I know, Spider told me."

She was oddly embarrassed. Now it was starting to get really weird. First Spider and then Kiri? Why do they all look uncomfortable? Did you do something ? Do you have something on your face? Kiri was the kind of person to be quite frank with other. She wasn't mean by any ways, of course, not to you at least. She was simply honest. So you know something is up when she doesn't look you in the eyes.

You stare at the security displate on the door behind her to distract yourself, how in case of a fire the exit is in the common area, how the masks allowing you to breath the outside air can also filter the smoke.

And Kiri doesn't say anything, but the door open another time. Spider enters and you want to flee at the sight. You purse your lips, not knowing if the discussion was over or not. Kiri looked like she wanted to tell you something but she wasn't uttering a word. Is it rude of you to leave ?

You try to read the security displate again, extinguishers are a little everywhere on the base. Did a fire already start here ? It's possible, after all. Still, it seems impossible as every scientist here is cautious.

As you were engrossed in your reading, a shock-like launch take over your leg. You grit your teeth and frown, hoping no one notices. You hated being seen like this.

Especially in front of the Na'vi, in this case Kiri. The Omatikaya were strong, proud. You couldn't even stand for more than twenty/thirty minutes.

So you didn't like hanging out with the Sullys. They ran, jumped and played happily all over Pandora. When it was impossible for you to do so. But it was your planet, too.

Kiri clears her throat, giving a look to Lo'ak still outside in the grass. He was laughing. At you ? You don't know, but Kiri seemed to be asking him for help. Are you making her nervous ? Now, you feel bad. You didn't do anything, you don't want her to be uncomfortable to just talk to you.

You don't know where is Spider, you don't want to look for him. You just know he's in the room with you.

-By the way, tonight we're all going to observe the eclipse so I thought you could come? I'm sure you'd have a lot of fun. she tried to sound casual but his words sounded fake, as if repeated. Why is she offering you to come? You're not even friends. Did Spider ask her to do so?

-Thank you Kiri, Spider already offered to me. I think I'll pass my turn. There will always be other eclipses in the future. you stay silent, analyzing her body language. Is there... A problem ?

Kiri shakes her head, assuring you that everything's fine. But you can't believe her when they've been acting so strange. Did Spider talk about you to her ? And if yes, why? And what did he say ?

The three of you are staring at each other in utter silence. Your two interlocutors deeply uncomfortable and getting fidgety. Kiri gives you a tight lip smile, as if she knew how weird and awkward the whole situation was. As if she's giving you support.

You then stare at Spider, who you tried to forget a few minutes ago. Maybe he could answer your confusion as he seems to be the one linking everything together. He smiles at you, cheeks once again bright red. Eywa, this is just too embarrassing.

"I'll have to go back to my room so..." you say, already backing off, thumb pointing toward your fleeting.

You don't 'have' to go back but you really want to avoid this mood. You might die from embarrassment in being stared at by two people without them talking.

Your leaving awake Kiri. She almost scream at you to wait and you halt in your track, startled by her sudden outburst. You think she is blushing, terribly uncomfortable, but it's hard to tell as her skin is blue. But it look like it's now a little more purple. Truly fascinating.

-I think Spider wanted to show you something. Right Spider ? Kiri exclaims, staring insistently at the boy sitting on a high chair a few feet away from you.

-Me ? No, why ?

-I'm sure you do, come on, I know you remember…" Kiri gritted her teeth, glaring at the boy. She was almost desperate, wanting him to help her out of the hole she was digging.

What is happening ? What are they talking about ? Something to show you ? Is that why Spider been so weird to you since this morning ? Why didn't he just showed it to you? He doesn't have to ask Kiri for help.

-I don't think that is... he's cut off by the cold tone of Kiri.

-Spider...

With the death glare she sent him, he quickly stood up away from the chair. He looks behind him, to the window, Lo'ak smiles at him. Why isn't he just coming in ? Why is he just laughing at everything going on ? Is this an inside joke ? You don't find it funny. Are they making fun of you ?

Spider walks up to you, step by step while Kiri back off. He clears his throat, that's when you notice he's hiding something in the pit of his hand.

-I did… well, no. I found, yeah, I found that and kinda thought about you, well, about your behavior ? But, uh, so I took it. he lifts his hand to your, a bracelet in his palm. Here. you frown.

-You found a bracelet already made? Isn't it just someone else's bracelet ?

How, in this huge and vast forest, did he even find it ? And what does he even mean by your behaviour ?

-No, I...

-You could get in trouble Spider, you should try to see if someone lost it.

You were worried because even thought Spider tried to remove you from his life, you were still scared for him. He was a human, he wasn't accepted in the Omaticaya tribe. If one of the Na'vi found out he 'stole' something, he'll be done for. He's been mean to you, but you know he doesn't deserve to be alone.

And why is Kiri cheering him up. Isn't she supposed to tell him it's bad ? Is she trying to sabotage him? No, she wouldn't do that. Well, she doesn't really look like she'd be mean anyway.

Kiri rolls her eyes and shakes her head. You don't understand.

-Seriously Spider, you should put it back where you found it. you insist.

He closes his eyes shut and sigh. Head going low. He looked frustrated and embarrassed. You noticed that Kiri walked away to leave you two more privacy. You preferred when she was closer.

-Okay, maybe I... didn't find it.

This make no sense. He did it himself ? Someone gifted it to him ? In both case, it's nice. So why would he lie to you on something like this ? What's got into him today ?

-Why would you lie to me ? on something like that, that is. It's just a small bracelet, nothing to be lying for.

-Listen, I... I made it. For you. Kiri helped. Please, come with us watch the eclipse tonight. The Sully want to meet you.

Meet you? But you're here. You never go far. They already met you. What is this about ? Is this bracelet a simple gift or something with a deeper meaning ? You know Na'vi have certain traditions, like gift giving to court a mate. But you're not his mate and Spider isn't really a Na'vi, still, he lives like one.

But most importantly, aren't Kiri and Spider together ? Are you misinterpreting things ? Surely. Because why would he starts to court you after avoiding you for years ? When he's already in a relationship! Is he trying to reconnect with you? Or he simply realized that you're the only one to be of the same race as him and he has no other choice.

It's sad but it's a truth. He can't mate with a Na'vi, he doesn't have an avatar. You're his only choice. But you don't want to be the last option. You don't want him to choose you just because you're the two only humans. You'd rather see him ignore you for years again.

-So? Will you come ?

-I don't think.... You start but he cuts you off.

-Why ? I'll carry you on my back if you want ! You want to roll your eyes at the ridiculous aspect of it all.

-Why are you insisting so much Spider ?

-I'll even give you foot massage !

-Ew! You and Kiri exclaim in unison. Spider smiles at your reactions and without really realizing it, you lightly smile as well.

-I swear you'll have fun. Please." he asks you one last time.

So you accepted. Because you realized that you still wanted to be his friend. Because you miss his company. Because Spider is who he is. Because you want to go out desperately.

And that's how you find yourself standing nervously before the Sully in the middle of the forest hours later. The suns barely start to leave the sky, one of them being hidden by the clouds.

Lo'ak greeted you awkwardly while Tuk jumped at the idea of meeting someone new. Neteyam wasn't here with them, it made you feel less stressed as he's the one who scares you the most.

They soon started strolling around with their giant legs, quickly out-speeding you and Spider.

The tree siblings were walking ahead of you, far ahead. Jumping and laughing. But Spider was beside you, smiling. Like the old times. A wave of sadness, nostalgia and shame hit you. You don't even know why you're ashamed. He told you he wanted you to be here. Still, you feel like he forces himself to be kind to you.

"You can speed up, I'm just behind.

-Can't I stay here ? He shrugs while smiling happily.

Well, yes, of course he can. It was just an offer. You shrug, letting him do his own choices.

-It's been a while since our last discussion, I don't want to leave you alone."

Again, you thought. And you think he thought it too by his apologetic look. Is it too late for a new friendship to bloom ? Has time passed too quickly ? You're both adults now. But you still have this feeling pulling at your chest each time you see him. Knowing damn well things didn't end correctly between you.

Your good leg hit against a root on the ground and you lose your balance. Spider is quick to grab your hand to prevent you from falling.

You feel so bad for always needing someone. But you also feel angry. Because it's fun reducing to always need someone company to just walk. You know Spider wants to ask you if you're okay, still, he doesn't. And you really appreciate it.

"So? That flower you've been studying? he asks instead, letting go of your hand slowly, as if he didn't really want to.

You frown at his choice of conversation subject. Spider is not one to like science, at all. It's intriguing because that mean he watched you work for far longer than you thought to know what you were working on.

Then why didn't he just talk to you? Instead of hiding himself behind your back waiting for you to turn around.

-It's progressing. I think we can make medicinal meals for humans with it. It's really interesting.

You didn't want to talk much about it since you knew Spider would be bored pretty quickly. But if he was, he was hiding it damn well because you couldn't see anything but his fond smile.

-That's cool. He says. Tell me more.

You were surprised to say the least. Because never had Spider ask you to explain your works to him.

-Are you sure ? You asked doubtfully

-Well, yeah!"

And he was so excited to hear you that a warm feeling enveloped your heart. You started explaining every progress you made in the past few months, not sparing any details. You knew he didn't understand things sometimes but you were happy to explain it to him more clearly.

Often, you'd have to stop to escalate a fallen tree or some high places but Spider was always eager to help you. Sometimes, the Sully would look back at you two and smile.

At first, you thought that Kiri would join your conversation but maybe she knew you two needed this talk. You were old friend trying to reconnect and she was kind enough to let you have this. She never looked like the jealous type anyway.

When you finished your story, you asked Spider about his dailies activities and he was happy to indulge.

And without really understanding how you made it, you were now on his back while he was walking proudly towards his friends. Honestly, you knew Spider was somewhat of a muscular guy but you'd never thought it was possible for him to carry you for so long like he did.

And when you arrived, you thought he'd be quick to set you on the ground but he didn't. He kept you on his back as long as he could. You just wanted to enjoy your old friend's company, stay in the illusion that nothing ever changed.

The view was really beautiful. A calm place on the edge of the void. Ikran were flying down there, some mounted by omaticaya, other simply loving their freedom. You could see all the floating island from here. And of course, the suns.

Surprisingly, you weren't feeling too tired, yet. Spider was still talking to you but your face on his shoulder, the warmth of his body and the comfort of it all before the beautiful view of Pandora was enough to put you in a trance.

Eventually, when you met the stare of Kiri, you forced yourself to get off him. Because you didn't want to make her uncomfortable.

Your hand wipe away the few water drops on your mask. It's a little frisky out there, but it feels good.

As everyone was laying on the ground excitedly, you sat at the far right of the siblings, leaving a polite space between you. But the space quickly was filled by Spider's body plopping beside you. He smiles, you can't give him the same kindness, mind full of questions.

Why are you here ? Because as much as the scenery is nice, you're not close no any of the people who 'invited' you. What was the plan in making you come here ?

Spider's hands which lay flat on the ground support him, his arms behind his back. He's almost laying down.

"Don't fall asleep." he tells you but you have no idea why he told you that as you're wide awake.

Maybe he's just trying to be nice, trying to be polite and make you feel included. You don't mind it. You're sure this whole rendez-vous together is a one time thing that you'll never do again. So you're fine with it.

Even if you're disappointed. Because you love going out in Pandora.

You concentrate on staring at the scene before you instead of sulking. It was really pretty, you never saw something so beautiful before. Because the last time you went out, you were young and had a strict curfew. You never got to watch the beauty of the nightfall.

Soon, every plants and living beast should light up. You already notice the freckles on the siblings body become clearer. You smile softly. You feel good, at peace. You could stay here forever. It's like you're finally connected to Eywa.

The suns are moving slowly and you're hypnotized by them all, a smile pulling at your lips.

Even if lost in your trance, movements from your left grabs your attention. Spider's thigh is suddenly pressed against yours. You search for his eyes, to see any emotion or reaction explaining you his behaviour but his eyes are solely staring at the sun before you. Why did he move so much closer ?

You shrug, thinking that you're cold anyway and a little of human warmth won't do harm. So you ignore his shenanigans, opting to concentrate fully on the sight. You're lucky to live on such a pretty planet. Even when now, it's a foot that set itself under your leg, taking you once again away from your thoughts.

"Spider?" you ask this time.

Because his foot slided under your sick leg and as it's a somewhat private part of you, you're surprised by the contact. Spider looks at you and smile, his head falling on his shoulder as he held every star of the night in his eyes. Even through the mask, you could see how prettily shiny they were.

You never saw him so comfortable, but when you really think about it, you can't remember much of the time you spent together. It was so long ago. Maybe he was comfortable like that with you before.

Frowning, you stare at your now tangled legs. This is getting weirdly intimate. Just this morning, he was avoiding you like death and now he's craving physical attention? But when you look into his eyes, you can't find any answers.

It's not new, though. You remember when you were little, you were always asking yourself; What is he thinking ? He always has been unpredictable and impossible for you to decipher.

But you stay still, letting him do his things. Because you missed all of this.

"Where is Earth ?" asks Tuk to one of her siblings.

You realize it's the first time you hear them talk and remember their presence. Lo'ak is the one to answer. He points to a really really far star in the sky and you follow his direction. Earth ? That's where you come from ? You're sure it's beautiful out there, too.

Feeling confidence running through his veins, Spider finally glides his hand to lay it on yours, putting his fingers between yours on the ground.

"Do you think there is a deity like ours on Earth?" asks Kiri and your blood run cold.

Kiri, Spider's lover. She's just beside you. You hope she did not see that. You forgot they were together. As if an electricity shock cross your body from head to toe, you push his hand away and move your leg out of his hold, in your rush, you hit it against the ground and whimper.

Spider try to touch your leg, probably worried about your health but you don't want him to touch you anymore.

"What are you doing ? you ask, throwing worried glances to Kiri who wasn't looking. He halts his hand in the air before retracting it silently.

-I... Nothing. Sorry." he's deeply confused. But you are more.

His head turns in the opposite direction of your, his body language telling you he's terribly tense. What is he doing ? Why was he all over you ? What the hell was that ?

Is he seriously flirting with you? When Kiri is barely one person away from you ! He probably doesn't know you're aware of his relationship with her and is trying to get in your pants. Thinking that hurt your heart deeply. Staring at him nervously wrapping his fingers around the plants, you're not so sure he's a cheater.

No, you conclude. He would never play with her heart like this.

But he changed with years. He was a man now. Maybe he wasn't the Spider you used to know, after all. No, you need to stop imagining things. You just need to talk to him, understand his thoughts. Spider is nice. He probably changed but not like this. You can't even force yourself to believe Spider would be a bad person.

The rest of the eclipse, you didn't get to enjoy it as much as you wanted. Too preoccupied by your boiling mind. And soon, it was already time for everyone to get back home.

Your little group stands up, the siblings and Spider talking excitedly together. Spider was still by your side though. You were thankful that even despite the awkward situation you two were in minutes prior, he was still making sure you weren't being left out.

After some time, you noticed that Spider wasn't trying to be part of the conversation anymore, his steps were slowing down. He tentatively looked at you and your eyes met his.

"Are you mad at me ? he finally asks.

-No. You say, because you truly were not. Just confused.

-Confused about what ? I thought I was pretty clear back there.

-Your intentions were indeed pretty clear, don't worry about that. I just... It's really low of you to do that with Kiri just beside us.

-What does Kiri have to do with this?

You hate that he's playing dumb. And you get more frustrated the more you're talking to him. By now, you two stopped walking, standing in the middle or the forest without moving.

-I don't like you playing with her. You should stop.

Spider's eyes widen, he steps back a little, looking agape. His lips forms words but no sound come out of it. Why is he so surprised ? Isn't it logical for him to settle to one person ? Why does he look like he just got a world's revelation ?

-You thought I mated with Kiri ? asks Spider in a voice so high pitched you're sure the whole forest heard.

The three siblings before you stops in their track and look at you two, surprised faces on all of them before Lo'ak burst out laughing hearing your conversation, as well as Tuk.

There is a long silence between you and the boy only disrupted by the never stopping laugh of the two omaticaya. The girl approaches you slowly. You feel so stupid, you might die from shame. He wasn't playing dumb, the two really weren't together.

Spider turns pale. Kiri looks him up and down before pretending to vomit.

-What ? Me ? With this thing? she says, disgust lacing her words.

You want someone to bury you seven feet under ground.

-Same thing for me ! Spider screams. Everyone, but her!

-He is literally the spitting image of Lo'ak! Why would I mate with him?

-I… I don't know. I always see you guys stuck together so I figured…

You now realize how stupid your reasoning looks. Yes, they spend lot of time together, but so do a family.

-She's not even funny ! She's the worst person to be with !

-Shut up !" Kiri says, pushing Spider strongly. The boy manages to impress you by not moving a lot despite the strength of the Na'vi girl by his side.

Seeing their bother sister dynamic, you instantly knew that they weren't lying. You even wonder how you could ever think of them as a couple.

You feel a lot better knowing Spider was still kind. And knowing you did not betray Kiri. Relief flood in you. Maybe your boy is still as kind as before.

Lo'ak, Kiri and their little sister then decided to head back home after accompanying you to the lab. Tuk was tired, she was being carried on her brother's back while Kiri was in her own head. Spider was much more awake. He was eagerly talking your ear off about some of his craziest adventures with the Sullys.

For a moment, you were at peace.

You had your old friend back, new people next to you who, you hope, you'll soon be able to call friends. The thought of the discussion you and Spider would definitely have later wasn't even plaguing your mind. You were having fun. It was perfect.

As soon as you arrived back at the lab, apprehension was all you could feel. What if it's the last time you see them ? What if they don't want to be your friends ?

They dropped you off at the entrance of the base. Tuk was still sleepy and she mumbled something along the line of 'Goodnight' before going back to her asleep state.

You thanked them, told them you had a great night and they started to leave, not before some farewells.

Lo'ak whispering a 'good luck bro' to Spider which you clearly heard despite him trying to be quiet, he gave him a pat on the back before stepping back. Kiri smiles at you softly then sticks out her tongue at Spider with a teasing look.

As much as this whole scene was cute, your leg was starting to hurt and you needed to sit down quickly before losing your balance.

You wave at the Sully, finally watching their back heading to their home. You're sleepy, but something is preventing you from really falling asleep right then and there: You still have questions.

If he's not with Kiri, that means he was flirting with you. Crafting you a bracelet, wanting you to spend the rest of the day with him, trying to be skin to skin against you; that's flirting, right ? That's what they do in books anyway.

Spider opens the heavy door of the lab for you, you wait for the air to be cleaned before taking off your mask. You hurry to find a seat nearby. What is it now ? Are you friends ?

There is no sound in the whole lab and the mood stresses you. You're alone with him, you can't ignore the awaiting conversation you'll eventually have. Spider grabs a glass of water that he set on the table for you to drink.

You thanks him lowly. He sits on a chair on the other end of the table, facing you. He taps his nails on his chair nervously while you avoid his gaze by staring at your shoes.

"So..." he starts.

Your heart's beating quicken because you don't know what to expect. You're scared. But knowing that Spider is as frightened as you reassures you at the same time.

"Did you have fun ? Tonight ?

-Yeah, it was nice. The sky was pretty. Thank you.

-Cool, cool. It's nice to know."

Spider scratch his head, eyes boring holes into the ground. But he stopped his movements and sighs, brows frowning and creating a crease on his forehead.

"I'm an idiot. He resumes. I don't know why I left you. He stays silent for a while, you let him find his word, desperately wanting to hear his point of view. I guess I was scared. Maybe even ashamed.

Ashamed ? Ashamed of you ? This conversation will really end you if he continues this way.

-Scared because... I don't want you to like me just because I'm your only option. I was scared to think I liked you just because you were the only kid my race I've ever known. At your frown, he smiles bitterly. Yeah, I like you. But now I'm sure it's not because we're the only two human the same age.

You're stunned. Astonished, even. Your mouth is mid open, your eyes are wide. You stopped breathing a few seconds ago. Is he joking ? How does Spider, the guy who stopped talking to you years ago, confesses his love to you? How is he asking the same questions you asked yourself times and times again ?

-And ashamed because I don't want to be human anymore. I want to be a Na'vi, an omaticaya. A true one ! And you, the lab, are reminding me of who I really am. I guess I didn't like that. A long silence spaces his confession, you trying to process everything and him, searching his words. But at the same time, back then I thought that as long as you were with me, I wouldn't mind staying human, you know? But it's a lot of thoughts in a fifteen years old's mind and I just panicked, I guess.

Tears are quickly filling your eyes, you're speechless. You've been waiting for him to explain himself for so long and finally it was happening. You want to cry because it's the first time someone is openly telling you about their emotions, you want to cry because you have no choice but to confront your own emotions now. But you don't know how to handle them. You wipe aggressively your eyes, trying to make it look like you got something in it, you know Spider is not believing it but you still try to hide.

He'd stay human for you ?

-I have no excuses. I'm just an idiot. You never deserved to be left alone. And...And It's okay if you're a little broken because you're wonderful. It balances out. He says on a lighter note at the end.

And his silly confession made you smile. As stupid as it sounded. Because how is this his first words after years of mutual avoidance ? He just can't be serious. You're overwhelmed, you thought this day was going to be like every other day. None of this was planned. You don't know how to react.

-You won't forgive me right away, I know it. But I'm ready to wait. I'm... Kiri taught me how to sew. I-I can sew you clothes, jewelry, even a shawl. And I'm much stronger now, I can bring you everywhere. I'll make you visit lot of pretty places. I'll carry you.

You don't like that his offer is so tempting to you. Because you would have liked to make him wait, make him understand how hurt you are. As selfish as that sound, you just wanted for him to sympathize.

-Not even in a romantic way, we-we can just be friends, just like before. It'd be really nice.

Yes, it'd really be nice. You don't want to wait anymore. You missed him, your friend, so much.

-Why today ?

-What ?

-Why did you choose to come see me today? What pushed you to do so?

He chuckles, crossing his arms on his chest and staring at the ground.

-Lo'ak and Kiri forced me. Because I've actually been crafting you things for years but never gave them to you. He lacked courage. But they thought I did. They discovered it somehow and started reproaching it to me and told me that if I did not come talk to you to apologize, they would do it themselves.

Really now ? You're curious? Why has he been crafting you so much ? Okay, you think. You're ready to open your heart a little bit, just for him. But not entirely ! He has to work for it. He has to wait a little as well. Because, well, he never forgot about you. And that's enough for you to let your guards down.

You'll have to thank Lo'ak and Kiri next time you see them at the lab. You owe them.

-So ? Can I have another chance?"

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