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#bts farting
froog-water · 6 months
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ive said it once and i’ll say it again: chica is best girl🗣️
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sollucets · 1 year
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mm episode 7 bts x sure, gun
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wish i could have an rp partner that does adv lit and likes farting 🥺🥺🥺 ocs or bts, and preferably male farting only.
18+ only
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Today, I found this poster and remembered the stories about Chris and RDA farting on set. It’s a shame they didn’t have this chart to rate them. 🤣🤣🤣
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yunkisunbae · 1 year
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twitter army think critically challenge failed
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bangtanbraps · 1 year
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Panda Express (JINMIN sickfic)
//TW!! *Pro-ship (JinMin) *18+ sexual themes *Bloating *Male masturbation *Eprocto *Desperation *MILD scat If you think anything else should be listed as a warning, please let me know! Enjoy.
***
The pair had been driving for hours, alternating the driver every few hours when one needed a break. It was a long drive down to the set location for their new television show ‘In The Soop’, but, luckily, Jimin loved long drives with his best friend Jin – they often had lots of fun gossiping and singing along to music. They had to be recorded the entire way there through a small GoPro suctioned to the windshield, but the staff had become used to editing out hours of banter between the two singers that would be too inappropriate for ARMY to hear.
Jimin looked at the car’s digital display. 12:53. Upon seeing the numbers, a sonorous grumble erupted from the younger’s stomach. Jin stifled a chuckle.
“Hungry much?” He quipped. Jimin laughed.
“Yeah. Starving. Are there any service stations nearby?”
“There should be. Could you check your phone?”
“Sure.”
He opened the maps app and searched for service stations in the area.
“Ah, yeah. There’s one five minutes away. Do you think the others’ll be hungry? Should I radio them?”
“Uhm. They might be. But why don’t we go in there on our own?” Jin took his dongsaeng’s hand into his own and interlocked their fingers. “If we go with the others, the camera crew will be forced to stop too, and we’ll be recorded the whole time. How about we have a private meal together, just us?”
Jimin couldn’t help but blush and bite his lip at his hyung’s touch. It was almost embarrassing to him that something as simple as holding hands with his boyfriend could melt him instantly.
“Sure. We can.”
*
Jin parked the car while Jimin stood in line for Panda Express. The older man soon joined him, nonchalantly taking Jimin’s hand in his own once again. He let out a huff of air.
“It’s nice to just be us for once. You know. Without the cameras and all.”
“Yeah… I like holding your hand Jinnie….” Jimin looked down to hide his embarrassed little smile. Jin placed a finger under Jimin’s chin and lifted his head to look him in the eyes.
“And I like holding your hand, Minnie.” Jin winked, oozing charisma as always. Jimin rolled his eyes playfully, though he was unable to curb his grin.
After ordering a banquet’s worth of food – and eating and chatting for about an hour – the pair were ready to hit the road again. Jin made sure to send Jimin to the bathroom before they set off; he was almost certain that this was the last service station for a long while.
*
“Don't smile on me; light on me~ Neoege dagaseol su eopseunikka~ Naegen bulleojul ireumi eopseoooooooooooo!”
“You know that I can't~ Show you me, give you me~ Chorahan moseub boyeojul sun eopseo~ Tto gamyeoneul sseugo neol mannareo gaaaaaaaaaaaaa!”
“BUT I STILL WANT YOUUUUUUUUUUUU~!”
Both of them erupted into laughter as they toyed around, impersonating the other members of the group – namely Namjoon and his infamous shower ‘singing’. Jin took the following line, with it being his own and all.
“Oeroumui jeongwone pin~ Neoreul dal- agh….” He cut mid-line.
Jimin chuckled. “Voice crack~?” Jin shook his head.
“Mmmm… no… just a stomach cramp that took me by surprise.”
Jimin’s smirk was reduced to a concerned frown.
“Are you alright, Jinnie? Are you gonna throw up? Do we need to pull over?”
“No. I’m fine. Just a silly pain.” He sighed exaggeratedly, “I’m getting older! Oh! Woe is me, Jimin!”
The act seemed to relieve some of Jimin’s worry. He laughed.
“Oh, stop it; you’re not old. You are dramatic, though.”
“Me?! Dramatic?! You must have me confused with someone else~. I have been called many things in my lifetime, but dramatic is not one- ugh-!” Jin faltered again, one hand leaving the wheel to rest on his stomach.
“Jin..?”
“I’m- Fine. Just another random cramp.”
“Jin… we can pull over-”
“No.” The hyung interrupted, “We’re already an hour behind the rest of the crew. We can’t afford to stop now.”
Jin’s stomach let out a growl, not much unlike Jimin’s from a few hours earlier… only this growl was different—slightly more ‘gurgling’ in nature and most definitely NOT from an empty stomach. Jin mumbled something under his breath that sounded like a mixture between a groan and an expletive.
“Are you sure you don’t want to pull over, hyung-”
“Does it look like there’s anywhere to pull over?!” Seokjin snapped. Immediately, he followed with an “I’m sorry, Minnie. I didn’t mean to shout. I’m just-… My stomach hurts a little.”
“I can tell…” Jimin placed a hand on Jin’s thigh, rubbing it reassuringly. “I’ll look to see if there’s a service station nearby. And I'll take the wheel as soon as we can pull over. You’ve been driving too long.”
Jin sighed, defeated. “I don’t think there are any service stations for a while. I checked at the last one. I suppose I was so busy making sure you used the bathroom that I didn’t remember to go myself.”
“Shit.”
“Language. … In fact. Turn the camera off. I don’t even want the staff seeing me like this.”
“I’m sure they’d edit it out-”
“I’m sure they would, Jimin, but I don’t even want them to go through it. We can turn it back on once my stomach ache has passed.”
Jimin nodded and reached for the GoPro, yanking it off the windshield and fiddling with it to find the power button. The little box bleeped, and the red recording light went dark.
“Done. It’s off. Feel better?”
“I’m certainly more relaxed. Fuck-. Minnie, I know this is odd, but could you please unbutton my jeans? I think my stomach needs a little more room to breathe.”
Jimin’s heart skipped a few beats until he recalled how to breathe. His face flushed pink, and his gaze slipped to the bulge of his boyfriend’s bloated belly. He gulped, hopefully inaudibly. Jin noticed the younger’s sudden change in demeanour and guffawed in reaction.
“Oh, Minnie, come on, it’s not like that~. Unless you- Uh-. Want it to be.”
Park Jimin could not believe his luck. They had been dating for nearly two years – of course, he had told Jin about his… ‘unique’ interests. Jin had been refreshingly supportive, unlike past partners who had looked down on him or laughed. That being said, Jin did state that it wasn’t something he would be interested in exploring for the foreseeable future, given the foul nature of the kink.
Because of this, Jimin left that door closed and never brought it up again. Jin had thrown a few jabs his way concerning it, but other than that, it had been left untouched. Until now. This is the first time Seokjin had ever expressed any non-joking opinion surrounding engaging in… it.
“We don’t have to.” Jimin hurried, “It’s fine. You’re uncomfortable and sick. I’ll- uh- I’ll undo your jeans for you, though.”
Jimin fumbled his fingers around Jin’s zipper, hissing a ‘sorry’ as he clumsily grazed his crotch. As soon as the zipper was undone, Jin’s bloated stomach spilt out with a relieved sigh. Jimin wished his zipper was undone. His pants were getting a little tight. Of course, Jin wasn’t fat by any means – but a buffet of service station food was enough to make anyone a little larger, idols included.
“Hhh… thank you, Minnie. And uhm-. Sorry. If this is-. Uhm. Awkward for- for you.”
Jimin’s stomach lurched. “No. It’s fine. Really. You’re just sick. It’s not like that. I’m not perverted or anything.”
Jin chuckled, slightly more relaxed at his lover’s words, “Oh, you’re not? Are you sure you’re Park Jimin?”
Jimin didn’t respond, opting to pick at his fingers instead.
*
Time stood still. It was as if the clock never changed and the sun never moved. The only way Jimin could measure the passage of time was by the intensity of the thunder that, ever more frequently, rolled inside Seokjin’s stomach: accompanied by a worsening grimace.
There had been no service stations or lay-bys, and time was taking its toll on the man’s insides. Time also took a toll on Jimin; his crotch was engulfed in the familiar heat of lust. Jin’s mind had become cloudy with desperation. He felt as though he was going to burst, and his temper was flaring. He cursed, smacking a hand on the steering wheel.
“Ugh! Why have over an hour of fucking motorway with absolutely fucking NOTHING! What if someone got into a fucking ACCIDENT? Someone could fucking DIE! This is RIDICULOUS!”
“I know, right?” Jimin echoed, attempting to ease Seokjin’s frustrations, “This is crazy.”
“If I could just piss, the pressure would go down. That’s ALL I’m FUCKING asking for! Just to FUCKING piss, and MAYBE I could make it to the set.”
Jimin rocked his feet anxiously; he didn’t like it when Jin got mad. He wasn’t violent or scary, but, having a short temper himself, he was all too acquainted with the fire that rises in one’s chest and how uncomfortable that burn can feel. A hollow jangle clacked against Jimin’s shoe. He looked down at the empty water bottles in the foot well. He swore he could hear a ‘ding!’ as his brain connected the dots and formed an idea.
“Uh. Jin. If you really think pissing would help, there are some empty bottles down here.”
Jin groaned.
“You know, normally I’d call you revolting – but, desperate times and all. Pass one over here.”
Jimin gulped once again as he kicked up one of the plastic bottles, unscrewing the cap for Jin before handing it to him.
Jin struggled to free himself from his boxers while holding the bottle and the car steady. He cursed and snarled as he grappled at his jeans, eventually dropping the bottle into his own foot well.
“FUCK. THIS IS RIDICULOUS!”
“I can help if you want. It’s gotta be hard to do fifty things at once while- uh. You have to go.”
“Fuck. Yes. Please. God, Minnie, please.”
The begging nearly tipped Jimin over the edge. He clenched his thighs to contain his ‘excitement’.
Jimin reached down, picked up another bottle, and set it between his legs as he reached over to unclothe his boyfriend’s manhood. Seokjin coughed awkwardly, willing himself to remain flaccid while Jimin touched him to avoid another issue.
Jimin took the bottle, uncapped it, took the lip and put it against Jin’s tip: ensuring he had aligned the hole with the opening and created a tight seal between the two.
“Oh-” His voice cracked. He coughed and gulped. “Sorry. Er- Okay. You should be good to go now, Jin.”
Jin did not have to be told twice. A stream of golden fluid gushed into the bottle as an exasperated sigh seeped from the host’s lips.
“Ffffffffffuck…” Seokjin exhaled. “Thank you- Oh, God-….”
Jimin’s hand grew warm as the fluid rose in the bottle. It rose dangerously high, in fact. And it was rising fast.
“Uh- Jin- I- Never mind. Just- Could you try to slow down a little?”
“Minnie, I’m mid-flow. I can’t fucking slow down.” Jin glanced at his boyfriend, then quickly returned his eyes to the road, turning pink in the cheeks.
Jimin kicked up another of the empty water bottles at his feet and swapped hands at the ochroid bottle. He brought it close to switch them when ready. His free hand picked up the empty bottle and uncapped it one-handedly.
“What are you doing?” Jin blurted.
“It’s gonna overflow. I’ll swap them.”
“You’d better not fucking spill any, or I swear to GOD.”
“I won’t. I won’t. I won’t. Trust me; I know what I’m doing. Don’t worry. Jihyun and I used to piss in bottles on road trips all the time. I’m practically a pro. Relax.”
Jin huffed, trying to remain calm and control his stream to allow Jimin some leeway for mistakes. It didn’t exactly work, but Jimin managed to swap the bottles without much help anyway.
“There. You’re good.”
Jin’s abdomen constricted as he pushed freely once again, his outflow picking up pace with another relieved sigh. Jimin twitched. If he weren’t careful, he’d have an ‘outflow’ himself.
Once the older was finished, Jimin capped both the bottles and set them down in the back seat so as not to kick them accidentally and create a mess.
“Better?”
“Fuck. Yes. Better. Miles better. It still hurts, but. Definitely better. Th-thank you.” Seokjin’s cheeks were a deep shade of rose now. Jimin didn’t want to make him any more uncomfortable than he already was.
“No problem, baby. Don’t worry. You focus on the road. I’ll keep my eyes peeled for somewhere to stop.”
Jin’s stomach bellowed in discontent, earning a similarly dejected hum from its owner. The rumbling continued one after the other, continuously. To make matters worse, they hit traffic – since they were lagging behind their entourage, they had hit rush hour.
“Fucking wonderful.” Jin retorted, sitting back in his chair and pawing at his ever more-so bloated stomach.
Jimin tried to focus on other things, but ignoring the glaring reality of Jin’s predicament was hard. Amazingly, Jin laughed.
“Oh my God, Minnie. I have to shit so fucking bad.”
This earned more laughter from both of them. The situation was quite incredulous, after all.
“I mean, we have more cups.” Jimin suggested sarcastically, “You could always shit in one of these.”
“Ha! I’ve used enough containers as toilets today for the rest of my life. I’m not sure I want to add to that number.”
It was nice to see his hyung perking up a little; Jimin knew he must be in a lot of pain.
“Well, just try your best to relax. If you need to- uh- let anything out-… You know I won’t judge.”
“What are you suggesting?” Jin reclined his seat slightly, sighing, “That I shit myself?”
Jimin scoffed, “No! I meant- like- Excess gas?” He immediately reddened. Jin noticed and smirked.
“Yeah, I bet you’d love that, wouldn’t you, you little pervert~.”
Jimin’s pants tightened again; he had certainly not been expecting that. Jin noticed this as well.
“I dunno… I’m a little scared to push….” He chuckled.
A deep grumbling noise rolled out into the driver’s seat, Jin sighing in unison with the noise – attempting to hide his smirk at Jimin’s visible arousal.
“That felt good. Sorry. I know it’s gross.”
Jimin shook his head, “Jin. You know that stuff doesn’t bother me. For… obvious reasons.” Jin cocked an eyebrow at him, his smirk revealing itself.
“Oh, yeah. Right~.”
Jin groaned, rubbing his stomach. “It looks like we’re gonna be stuck in traffic for a while… You couldn’t rub my stomach for me, could you, Minnie? It reeeeally hurts….”
Gulping, Jimin nodded and reached over to help his lover. He pressed his hand gently to Jin’s abdomen and slowly began to rub clockwise, applying slight pressure at the air pockets he could feel under the surface. It gurgled in response to the touch, Jin whining along and running a hand through Jimin’s hair in thanks.
Another bubbling rip sounded from underneath Seokjin, a sigh of relief quickly following. Jimin had to close his eyes and remind himself to stay calm despite what was happening. Bubble after bubble were released from Jin’s stomach, with Jimin’s rubbing only encouraging raunchier, deeper farts. Jin moaned with each release in an attempt to egg Jimin on; he’d noticed the growing bulge in Jimin’s jeans, and his mind was racing with indecent thoughts.
The traffic started to move again, at first shunting, then moving slowly and steadily. It was seemingly too little too late, however, as Jin’s stomach ache had worsened tenfold. At this point, he was whimpering at every touch and gasping at every fart, unsure whether it would be just air escaping him. The trouble was, he couldn’t control it. Now that he’d started releasing the gas, he’d surrendered to it involuntarily. The pain was too harsh to bear without expelling excess wind, and Jimin’s skilful hands pushed in all the right places to coax it out of his puffy gut. It had started as a teasing strategy, but, at this point, the older singer couldn’t contain his lewd noises.
“Asgh- Minnie… ouch…” Jin ripped another bassy fart into the car and rolled down the windows. “I’m sorry, this fucking sucks… I have to shit so bad you have no fucking idea. I- I don’t know if I’m gonna be able to hold it until we get to the set. Are there really no service stations nearby?”
Jimin checked his phone for what was probably the tenth time, “No… I don’t think so, Jinnie….”
“Fuck… well… could you search ‘public restroom’ and see if there’s anywhere we could turn off? A café or something. A McDonalds. Anything?”
“Uh, there’s a small village at the next exit. My stupid fucking phone won’t connect; I can’t see any bathrooms. But I can see some shops. There should be bathrooms there, right?”
Jin swerved recklessly and took the car off at the next exit. His driving was becoming more erratic the longer this went on; Jimin was starting to fear for his life. Telling him to stay calm would do no good; if anything, it would make things worse. The best he could do was sit and comfort him.
“Keep an eye out for anywhere that could have a bathroom, yeah? Ugh, oh my God…” He sat directly on his ass to apply pressure and avoid releasing anything solid. Not that it would be solid – it was way past that point. Despite this, another muffled blurt rippled from under his ass.
“I can’t see anything. Fuck. Uhm. It’s late. Everywhere’s fucking closed.”
“Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on…” Jin muttered under his breath. He was getting visibly desperate now, bouncing his free leg despairingly. “Aghhhh my fucking God, my fucking God, my fucking GOD.”
Jimin picked up his jacket from the back seat and placed it on his lap, quietly unzipping his jeans and slipping his hand over his boxers, caressing himself. Jin leaned slightly forward and pushed out a short fart. It sounded dangerous. Each blast sounded riskier than the last, and Jin was painfully aware of that fact.
“Okay, we can do this. We can do this. Come on Jin, just pay attention.”
“Just a little further Jin.” Jimin reassured, “We’ll find something, just hang on okay?”
“Mmmhmmm!” Jin groaned in a mixture of agreement and pain. He farted again. “Oh my god- Shit shit shitshitshit!”
A car pulled out from a side road, despite being behind a give-way line. Jin slammed on the breaks and the horn simultaneously, leaning his head out the window to shout a deep “FUCKING GIVE WAY, ASSHOLE! THAT MEANS STOP! FUCKING GOD!”
The driver of the other car visibly whitened at the rage, sheepishly waving his hand in apology and allowing Jin to pass.
“For FUCK’S SAKE!” Jin shot a short, sharp fart into his jeans, grunting. “Agh- Fuck! I am NOT going to shit in my FUCKING company car. This is NOT happening. FUCK!”
Jimin kept an eye out for any open businesses as he pleasured himself under the privacy of his jacket. Steadying his breathing was becoming increasingly difficult the closer he edged himself to climax. Jin’s breathing was uneven too, but most certainly not in pleasure.
“Fuck, hurry UP. LIGHT. PLEASE. TURN GREEN. … THANK YOU! This is an ACTUAL joke.” He let out an exasperated sigh, “Okay. Okay. Come on. Go. I CAN’T shit myself in the car. A FEW more minutes. You can do this. Come ON. Have you seen anything, Minnie?”
Jimin jumped a little, startled. He coughed, “nO. No. I haven’t. Sorry. I’m looking, I promise.”
“I know, I know, I know. Fuck fuck FUCK. It’s okay. Phew. We can do this. Just keep trying?”
“I will.” Jimin gasped breathily, “Yeah…”
Jin glanced over at Jimin and immediately realised what he was doing.
“Minnie! Seriously?!”
Jimin retracted his hand from his pants immediately. But, once again, Jin laughed. “Oh, my God! You really DO like this stuff, huh? I didn’t think it was THIS bad!”
“S- Sorry.”
“It’s fine.” Jin turned the car round the corner to double back and check the street again, “I’m glad you’re getting something good out of this, even if I’m fucking dying. It’s nice to see you… uh…” He coughed, “Turned on. By me.”
They both flushed at the same time. The moment was interrupted by another deep fart. It sounded wet.
“Shit. Fuck. NO. Not now. NO.”
“Did you-…?” Jimin started,
“NO! It was JUST GAS! Come ON, why are there NO FUCKING TOILETS?!” He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel anxiously, sighing to calm himself. “I can do this. I can do this. I can. I can, I can, I can.” Another alerting wet fart. Jin yelped. “NO! No, no, no, no! I can DO this!” His stomach screamed in pain, and another deep, wet fart ensued. Jimin moaned, immediately covering his mouth and widening his eyes.
“Shit. Sorry.”
Jin chuckled nervously, “It’s fine. You keep. Uhm. Doing what you’re do-” Another close fart. “SHIT. It’s fine. It’s fine. It’s. Uhm. Just a little.”
Jimin’s face flushed a deep shade of scarlet and his cock twitched in his hand. Jin wasn’t going to make it. There were no bathrooms. Jimin knew this because he had purposefully led him to an area where there weren’t any.
“I… I have a spare pair of jeans if you-…”
Grumble. Groan. Splatter.
Jin hit the breaks. Luckily the road was entirely empty.
He raised himself up slightly, leaning on the wheel, in a somewhat ditch attempt to not get it on the seat, Jimin reckoned. He slammed a hand on his ass, willing it to stop.
But it was already coming, no pushing necessary. Jin screeched as the hot liquid spattered into his pants and seeped through his jeans, creating a growing dark patch. Still half-standing, Jin swerved the car off the road – once again – and shoved his door open, throwing himself into the bushes by the silent sidewalk. Well, once his pants were off, the sidewalk was everything but silent.
A cacophony of squirts, farts and yelps rung in the area as Jin unloaded what was left in his bowels into a bush.
A white flash hit Jimin’s retinas and he finished in his hand, crying out in pleasure as his boyfriend cried out in pain.
Jin was reduced to tears as the searing liquid burned his hole upon exit. It was never ending. His favourite jeans would have to be thrown out, he had shit himself in front of his boyfriend, they were late on set and he was going to get an earful about it… and Jimin was orgasming. Surprisingly, this made him feel better. A lot better actually.
As another lurch punched his stomach, Jin caught Jimin’s eye. He purposefully rolled his eyes back and moaned as the liquid hit the floor, streaming out of him.
“Agh~! Oh, Minnie~! It hurts sooooo bad~… I have to shit so bad~…” Jin moaned, earning a moan from Jimin in return.
Jin slammed his hand onto the lamp post beside him, feigning gripping to it for support. Jimin was now turned to face him, stroking his cock openly, his eyes clouded with lust and his mouth agape.
With one look, they both knew that this would be the night they would lose their innocence to each other.
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hobis-hope94 · 2 years
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vmin being offended at the mere thought of armys farting will forever live in my mind rent free.
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spookysexy · 2 years
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This gives me life!
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puthyflapps · 2 years
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How stupid do you have to be to take over and get rid of extremely popular and acclaimed shows just because they weren’t your idea? It’s giving insecure cunt vibes.
She made Mia cry and that feels like a war crime. Jennifer Salke, I am under your bed
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froog-water · 6 months
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doodle dump. no correlation except that they are both about furries
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Hey y’all this is my first post I just wanted to introduce myself!
Hey everyone my name is Scarlett but you can call me Scar if u want. I am 15 years old and I am originally from Germany but my parents moved to Connecticut when I was 4 (#Foreign😜😜). I know how to speak German and English but I am 100x better at English. I like to snowboard and paint and write (duhhh). I will write for basically all of your favorite characters/ people. Here are the things I will and will not write🫶
What I will write:
Imagines
One-Shots
Headcannons
Series( If I’m feeling up to it I’m lazing asf💀)
Smut😜😜🤭🤭
Anything (on the list of things I will write) LGBTQ+!
And anything I feel comfortable with
What I will not write:
Rape/Sexual Assult/ Abuse to anyone male, female, other. (Bc it’s fucking weird and it’s disgusting to write💀)
Pedophilia 😟 towards anyone male, female, other. (Bc again that’s weird and really, really gross)
Homophobia, Transphobia, Racism, Sexism, ect. (Your sick if you want me to write that, like honestly)
……..any weird sex you want me to write is um……..well I thing that explains itself
Um and also anything to do with anime, I have nothing against people who watch it I’ve just never seen any before sorry if this has made a inconvenience xx
And lastly anything I don’t feel comfortable writing
That is all you guys!! Put your request down in the comments🫶
(What person/character, what genre, and any other details. Also anything to do with y/n😜😜 or who ever else; example; Female Reader, Male reader, non-gender specific reader, anything like that)
Ok luv u🙌🙌
Also what do you guys want me to call you????
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lokisasylum · 2 years
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This reminds me of when N (VIXX) gathered the members around in the dorm livingroom late at night to eat "delicious food" (it was mostly brownies, apples, milk and some other fruits). And once they were halfway enjoying the moment he just dropped the bomb like: "Alright so who farted during Music Bank today? Who was it???"
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lonerebel · 5 months
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Cat on Photons
GIF / 540 x 540 / 23.12.2023
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one-time-i-dreamt · 2 years
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A BTS member farted and got fired for it.
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octuscle · 10 months
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Magic Wig
Bad Taste Party. My God, that kind of thing happened at best in the frat house 20 years ago. But this is a 40th birthday. Shouldn't you be over those kinds of parties by then. Well, it's a colleague you're competing with for a promotion. If you don't let yourself be seen there, it's only negative for you in case of doubt.
On the weekend, you rummaged through your parents' closets. And you found a really ugly old tracksuit. On the internet you ordered a mullet wig and a chav hip bag from magictransformations.com. The address was on the invitation card as a recommendation. You should be sufficiently well equipped.
The evening of the party has come. You look really ridiculous in those clothes. But for a bad taste party perfectly appropriate. And somehow you feel damn cool with the hairstyle. Hehehehe, how long would it take to grow such a hair mat? Normally you would call a cab now. But the way you look, you better take the bus. Apparently you seem authentic. The bus driver takes a particularly critical look at your ticket. And the seat next to you remains free. That you massage your cock in the bus is also really exaggerated. But fuck, it feels just awesome. And somehow also bigger than usual.
From the bus stop to the house of your colleague are only a few steps. Pretty posh residential area. You couldn't afford it on your salary. Either he has a well-off wife… Or he has inherited. No matter, you begrudge him, as long as you get the promotion. The entrance area of the house does not necessarily look like Bad Taste. The path is lit with torches. From the brightly lit house comes music from the 80s. Then let's get into the hustle and bustle. You ring the bell. The wife of your boss was probably closest to the door and opens. In a black evening dress. Could she help you? Your boss steps in. Recognizes you. And starts to laugh uproariously. Whether you might be at the wrong party. To his knowledge, the dress code was BT. He waves your colleague over. An alley of people forms, who stare at you. Your colleague arrives grinning with a glass of champagne in one hand and a bottle of beer in the other. He hands you the beer and asks if you can take a little joke with the invitation. You can't and at least want to tear the ridiculous wig off your head. But you can't. It's on like glue. As if grown on. You turn around in horror and leave the property amidst the laughter of the guests.
Completely confused, you walk to the bus stop. You search in your hip bag for your wallet. But this is not your wallet. It's a cheap piece of rough fabric. And there are no more gold credit cards in it. It's just a Visa card. And your ID, your driver's license. And a gym card. That's you in the photo. But your neck is thicker than your head. And your mullet falls luxuriantly over your shoulders. At least your address seems to be correct. Your front door key still fits, too. But there are three names on your doorbell. And on the mailbox. You go up the stairs. In the hallway in front of your apartment door leans a fat mountain bike. And from the apartment you hear loud moaning. You have to grin. Zac just can't stop himself from pumping. It's the same for you. The neighbors have already complained about that. That's why you don't work out at home anymore. Gym is still open for two hours. That would still be worthwhile. You unlock the apartment door. Zac is lying on the weight bench in the former living room, covered in sweat. You greet him with a fist bump and ask if he wants to come to the gym with you. He stands up and takes a big sip of his protein shake. He farts, laughs and says that he has a date with a chick. He's out for the day. But Bryan should still be at the gym. That would be great, that you have a workout partner. And you can go out for a steak or something afterwards.
You also prepare a protein shake, pack your stuff and go on your way. For a Saturday night, the gym is pleasantly empty. You like that. No stupid looks when you drop the dumbbells. Bryan is doing his shoulder workout. You're with him.
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Good workout. Tomorrow, chest and back. Maybe arms. And then you're ready for another week as a shift worker on the assembly line. Let's see if your promotion works out this year.
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not-goldy · 3 months
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Let's even assume, without admitting shit, that none of the ships are real- none of them- like you can still look at Jikook and understand why anyone in their left mind would ever think they were a couple.
I think even BTS themselves look at Jikook and go- hmmmm questions 🤧
But honey, tell me you think any other ship in BTS might be real besides jikook without sweating tiny droplets in your armpit, tell me that without feeling like a clown, tell me that with a straight face- go ahead tell me cos I'll fart silently on ur behalf😩
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