#but by god do we have a culture. it’s weird and wonky. but it is there.

[engagemythrusters]

“white americans don’t have any culture” oh yeah? explain the chicken dance, then.

#we may be disconnected from our heritage #due to the assimilation deemed necessary #but by god do we have a culture. it’s weird and wonky. but it is there.

[sarasa-cat]

Sometime this morning I was being amused by some arts and tech fluff piece in the NYT about how elder Gen Z are into distorted, wonky, unstaged selfies for Instagram— and this involves using the wide angle back camera on a phone so you cannot see the photo as you are taking it and some of them purposefully don’t even look at the photo til later leaving it as a lolsnort surprise. The whole point is to be stupid and contagious (oops wrong Gen) purposefully messy and anti-Instagram perfection.

And the comments on the article were all from older ppl — boomers I assume (bc I recognized some of the commenters handles and know something about some of them) and it was all WHAT THE FUCK ARE WRONG WITH KIDS THESE DAYS NO WONDer ThE WoRlD is In tHE ToILEt. Rrrgggg dumb kids so lazy and stupid!!!

(And contagious).

Anyhow I already knew about this from a few years back (why do I know these trends? Idk?) and when I first noted it I thought —

Okay, hold on here, bc I need to address all my millennial gen friends bc I really do love you so much and have since you all started coming of age and entering my adult (lol university) friends circle — I do have a bunch of my literal best friends in the millennial gen especially in that Xennial crew but also younger than that too —

I thought a few years ago— omfg thank god the gen Zeds (or Zees) are growing up to the point they have an effect on culture bc they (unsurprisingly!) remind me SO MUCH OF GEN X But with modern tech and late 20teens / early 2020s problems.

The humor in gen Z is totally a revamp of gen X humor. Which makes sense. gen Z are technically gen X’s kids.

Ppl can argue whether generation theory in sociology is bullshit or has something to say. Idk. I’m on the fence. But I do see societal swings of certain sorts: like, millennials were boomers revamped in many ways, which made gen X roll our eyes. What-ever.

I’m sure gen x was actually some sort of weird console video game playing revamp of (what the fuck came before boomers? Uh…)

Uhhh wikipedia?

The silent generation. Omfg they were named the SILENT generation in america. Shit you not. The leadership of the civil rights movement and the so called silent majority. From 1951 article in Time magazine:

“The most startling fact about the younger generation is its silence. With some rare exceptions, youth is nowhere near the rostrum. By comparison with the Flaming Youth of their fathers & mothers, today's younger generation is a still, small flame. It does not issue manifestoes, make speeches or carry posters. It has been called the "Silent Generation."”

Yeah, bc the parents of the boomers who came b4 them were called The Greatest Generation lol.

Seriously- that is what the press said about Gen X in the 90s- they are losers and slackers and blah blah blah do nothing lay abouts. Yeah, whatever. And then millennials came along and they were the Golden Children who would do everything right. Whatever.

So I am not surprised boomers are shitting on Gen Z while Gen X are eye rolling.

Anyhow- we need more messy shit and less of this staged aesthetic ffs. Yeah, even if messy is an aesthetic.

I just want to have less freaking expectations about the damn professional look that millennials created for women bc it is too time consuming and so entirely not my jam and I was SO PISSED OFF when it became an Expectation(tm).

(Don’t worry millennials- ur still many of my besties. 🌟)

——

Edited to add: despite my earlier post today about the news making me feel stupider, this made me smirk 😏- it’s the real news in america that is just fucking fuck)

#rando nonsense that sticks with me all day #after mistakenly reading the comments #on an nyt fluff arts n tech piece

[mamamittens]

Long Awaited LoZ Thoughts

I’d like to start this off by explaining my background. I have a BA in English with a minor in Humanities. I have lived all my life in the Bible Belt of America, so my PoV of this series is inevitably going to be, at least in part, from the perspective of a Western-centric, Christianity-influenced woman. I have grown up with a deep interest in folk tales and mythology though, and took several classes on ancient cultures, so my base knowledge of religion all over the world is broader than what you’d probably expect. I am not religious myself, I’m actually agnostic. And this is just an in-universe look at the very strange religion of Hyrule. So, to make things easier, let’s just put aside the obvious meta issues with this world. The wonky timeline, complex lore changes between said timelines, and the fact that the whole series has clearly grown wildly over the course of its development without an overarching plot. The game mechanics being game mechanics. All of it. This whole thing will just be me trying to make sense of the world without the ‘it’s just a game, bro’ crutch. I will be drawing on what I know from the many games I’ve played myself, so if I don’t mention a big piece of lore from a specific game, it’s because I didn’t play it. Go ahead and rule out the early games before Ocarina of Time, as that’s the first game in the series I can remember playing. I was legitimately too young to have ever played anything prior to that, having been born in 1996. Now let’s get started, shall we?

 So, obviously everyone knows that the LoZ world is said to begin with the three goddesses. Din, Nayru, and Farore came together to create the world and before they yote themselves out of the narrative as direct players, they created the Triforce. A powerful artifact capable of granting a wish and giving their respective bearers undefined power. This is directly from Ocarina of Time and we see their symbol, the Triforce, all over the many games with very few exceptions. Now, to be clear, having a polytheistic religion with three main gods is hardly new. Hinduism has three main gods after all (Brahma, Vishnu, and Shiva), and depending on your flavor of Christianity, you have the holy trinity (God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit). There’s even the Celtic goddesses that come specifically in threes (collectively called The Morrigan; Eriu, Fodla, and Banba). This isn’t an exhaustive list of three divine beings, by the way, just know that three is a weird trend in western-centric stories, including religion. But what’s different about the three Hyrule Goddesses? Well, they’re weirdly small for big shot gods. Let me explain.

        So, the three Hindu gods I mentioned earlier each handle a specific aspect. Creation, destruction, and preservation, not necessarily in that order though (which god does what isn’t the point, so just roll with me here). These are very broad and powerful subjects. Christianity is much the same, even though it’s a monotheistic religion. God is literally an all-powerful, omniscient, omnipotent deity. Jesus is his son who gave his life to basically forgive all sin. And I’m not totally clear on the Holy Spirit, but these three are clearly Big Deals with Big Ideas behind them. A good rule of thumb for old religion is that the older the deity, the wider the scope of their job or what they represent. Which makes sense. If you had to personify the forces of the universe, you’d probably start with the sun instead of like… whatever god is responsible for the creation of rice specifically. The bigger and scarier the natural force, the bigger deal that god usually is, putting aside politics and cultural trends. Egypt is a good example of this, as their roster of gods tended to change a lot depending on who was Pharaoh at the time and wherever the city center was. Horus is the god of the sun, or at least one of them, and is generally considered king of the gods. Which makes perfect sense for a land largely made up of a desert.

But what are the three goddesses’ rulers of? Power, Wisdom, and Courage. Each with clear elemental associations and people that are obviously affiliated with them. Nayru, Goddess of Wisdom, is clearly associated with water and likely has a close connection with the Zora. Din, Goddess of Power, is associated with fire and has clear connection with the Gerudo (unclear if the same goddess as the one present in the desert temple in Ocarina of Time). Farore, Goddess of Courage, is associated with all things green and of the earth, including the child-like race of Kokiri who perpetually inhabit the forest. Sure, these are broad topics, but not really… the first thing you’d think of for creators of the universe, are they? And it raises the question about the Hyrule people, who are said to be able to hear the gods due to their pointed ears… let’s put a pin in that and move on.

So, we know there are many gods in this universe, primarily because we meet them. For example, Zephos, God of Winds, in Wind Waker. But he’s clearly a fairly forgotten god, as he shares a shrine with Cylcos, God of Cyclones, which is about as bare as it can be. Just what appears to be a Tori gate with two stone monuments with the simple notes to summon them, almost completely out of the way. Which… I mean, I don’t know many gods with their extension number written on their monuments. That would kind of like going to church on Sunday and seeing “Hit me up if you need me, J-Boy 555-TAKE THE WHEEL” written on the podium. And remember, this is a world and game where the gods actively flooded the world and would therefore hold or have held enough power to directly interfere with Hyrule.

And Skyward Sword clearly has divine beings, one of which even flooded a whole area, though they’re subservient to Hylia. Who we will get back to later, I promise. The three dragons (again, that magic number), capable of divine power, though where that power comes from in unclear. The dragons are of a high status though, as evident by their servants and clear reference to high-class dress of their clothes. These dragons are revered, but clearly not worshipped, much like nobles in that regard. A curious note is the parallels to the three goddesses, and how the symbols are muddled and mixed for these dragons.

Lanayru clearly has the symbols associated with the Zora, and by extension Nayru, but is yellow. He also is saved by time travel used to grow a magic fruit, which Link often uses (time travel) in many games to advance the plot himself (and wouldn’t you know it, but mixing blue with yellow does produce green. Weird). Faron is the water dragon who flooded an area, and she is almost entirely blue (as well as unsettling to look at), surrounded by a species clearly related to the Zora though closer to octopi. But her name is Faron, which is weirdly close to Farore’s name, not Nayru. I mean, they are close to locations that resemble their names of course, but it’s still an interesting note. Finally, there’s Eldin, clearly bearing a symbol associated with the Gerudo without any strange mixes of symbols for the series. Oddly, he’s also the most open of the three dragons, especially considering the Gerudo’s traditional stance of being a ‘no-sausage’ club. Not terribly relevant, but I just thought it was interesting to point out. You can consider the Giants in Majora’s Mask on the same level as them, though their status is unclear (Since they’re summoned by a song and can stop the moon from falling, they probably straddle the line between mortal and divine).

Now, spirits also exist in this world, both as the ghostly variety and the more pseudo-divine. Not to be confused with actual divinity. Divine being can be spirits, but not all spirits are divine. In this context, spirits can be defined more as being of power capable of granting aid in return for something. Zephos can change the winds if called upon, but you don’t need to feed him, for example. But the spirits in Twilight Princess need aid before they can help you. And they’re also not very independent and are able to be fooled easily, which isn’t usually a god-like quality. While more physically present than the three goddesses, they’re also not strictly tangible, and seem to be extremely limited to their location. At best, these spirits could be classified as minor deities below the gods we see in Wind Waker. They also share the same abilities in keeping the realm of Twilight from falling over the land of Hyrule, as well as their weakness to parasites of undetermined origin. An interesting note is that they all seem to live in bodies of water. Let’s put a pin in that one too.

Someone that also counts as a spirit would be Fi and her counterpart, Ghirahim. Literally two halves of the same coin, these two are both very limited in power and function. They don’t represent anything on their own and are very dependent on others to achieve results. How or why they were made is unclear, but it is obvious that both were forged at some point, and clearly gained sentience. Even their personalities and allegiances are a bit odd. Fi for her sci-fi appearance and calculating personality in a fantasy land, and Ghirahim for his… well, everything. I don’t know why the root of all evil would make his weapon a full-tilt diva, let alone on purpose. Ghirahim always struck me as odd since his bombastic personality seemed to clash with his ultimate fate of just being a weapon for Demise.

Okay, so the Great Fairies are weird, okay?! Like, really weird. They act as spirits (I can’t think of any that aren’t restricted to a body of water in some form), but are very independent. They also don’t necessarily need anything from Link to offer assistance. Sometimes, just opening the fairy fountain is enough to gain items needed to progress. And there’s also the fact that fairies heal you upon ‘death’, though with a limited heart capacity. Sometimes they need you to do something though, like the Breath of the Wild fairies need rupees to function or items to upgrade equipment. They also usually look human, like Majora’s Mask Great Fairies are clearly just… giant women with color coded accessories. But like, they float. Where Great Faires come from, or even just regular fairies, is unclear. Until Wind Waker, Great Faires were adults. But when you finally meet the real Great Fairy in Wind Waker it’s… a child. With a doll that looks just like the ‘Great Fairies’ you’ve seen along the way. This sort of implies that Great Fairies age and die, though clearly with a different lifetime than most races in Hyrule (the child Great Fairy also only looks somewhat human compared to other Great Fairies, so make of that what you will). And it also implies that all the adult Great Fairies are dead (you’re welcome for that depressing thought), with the last one trapped in a hollow tree only accessible by the power of a God.

In Breath of the Wild, the Great Fairies are both diminished but more powerful. They literally are stuck in a giant flower with water in it, with few fairies around them, and require riches to get stronger. The connection to their new restrictions to this need for material wealth is unclear. It’s also interesting to note that their fountains are no longer places that appear to be man-made holy temples and they seem to be out of the way… well, for a given value of ‘out of the way’ (looking at you ninja village). These fairies can accomplish more tasks, but certainly won’t be doing it for free or with minimal effort. A far cry from their first appearances (no, I don’t consider using explosives a difficult task).

But Fairies are also companions with nebulous tasks, such as in Ocarina of Time, where Tatl follows Link until the end of the game. And Kokiri have their own fairy as a sign of whatever accounts for adulthood in their race. The Skull Kid in Majora’s Mask has two fairy friends who seemed to have been either lost or abandoned. Who or what gives them purpose and life is unclear, though the Great Deku Tree from Ocarina of Time can give commands, it doesn’t seem to be something he does normally? As a side note, it’s really not clear what, if anything he can actually do. Though the relative safety of the surrounding area is clearly tied with his wellbeing in all iterations, he doesn’t seem to directly influence it, or be capable of self-defense.

Now, onto the elephant in the room! Hylia! Who the hell is this?! A more recent entry to the series, her divine roll is unclear (though she clearly guards the Triforce in some capacity). It can be assumed that she’s somehow a goddess tied directly to the Hylian people, but when she appeared is up for debate. Timeline wise, it’s almost like knowledge of her was suppressed for some reason, giving rise to the Triforce mythos we all know and love without hide or hair of her seen. We know that she favored the original Link greatly, enough to shed her divinity to be reborn as a mortal and assist him. How or why is also unclear, though it wouldn’t be unfair to assume she loved him, as divine ladies holding an affair with a mortal isn’t uncommon in mythology (or even male gods doing the same, before anyone brings up Zeus). But she makes a resurgence in Breath of the Wild, with statues and everything, with the three goddesses left to only vague references in the background. Which is super weird, though not uncommon for places like Ancient Egypt. The fact that the ruling family was literally descendant from a goddess is what makes it weird though, since any monarchy worth their salt would milk that until the peasant folk revolted and made a new religion to justify killing a god.

Zelda in every incarnation is literally descendant from the original and still held at least a fraction of that divine power. So much so that a cornerstone of a powerful religious artifact inevitably ends up in her hands (or on the back of her right hand, as it were). But what is Hylia a Goddess of? We don’t know. It’s never said. Anywhere. And that’s super weird, even for a ubiquitous deity. Sure she’s a Goddess of Hyrule but… what does that mean? That can’t be all she is? Her reincarnation is literally locked in a generational struggle against the forces of darkness! What can she do as a Goddess? Well, she makes Link stronger in return for items, but that seems to be it. In Ocarina of Time, Zelda was capable of sending Link back to the past, but that was with a magic item. And we know Hylia isn’t the Goddess of Time, because Zelda references her in Majora’s Mask (sequel to Ocarina of Time, therefore implying that there are more gods unmentioned at that time), when Hylia should be mortal or at least fragmented (because Zelda exists at the time with powers and a Triforce piece). The Guardian of Time in Hyrule Warriors also fell in love with Link before splitting into Cia and Lana (and was unable to fuse back together again), so it’s unlikely that she’s the Goddess of Time Zelda was referring to, though that detail is interesting to note. No, I will not discuss if Hyrule Warriors is canon (either game), as this is already long enough as it is.

So, that brings us to Ganon, or in his original form, Demise. Which… what’s up with that? Who is this guy? He directly opposes the gods and just… gets away with it! Repeatedly! Sure, he loses most of the time, but still. It’s unclear where Demise came from, or even what he is, though judging by Ghirahim’s ‘Demon Lord’ title, it can be assumed that he is some type of demon himself. And that the many monsters we see are also considered demons, which makes sense with how they always work for Demise (or his many iterations) in some form or another. Considering how much it takes to simply seal him away, he can’t be just a demon though.

        Demise obviously pulled the same trick Hylia did, which directly sets him up as a counterpart to her, but what does it mean? Why would he do that? What is Demise that he can’t be beat with the power of a Goddess alone and needs not only a brave knight but a blade literally made to counter him? Within the context of religion, the best guess I can make is that he’s some form of a God of Darkness, possibly also Temptation, Greed, and Pigs Corruption. It fits within the narrative since power is often the strongest form of temptation and we know that demons capable of opposing the gods exist. The Horned Statue literally takes Hylia’s blessings in exchange for wealth, and was turned into a statue for it. What it stands to gain from any of it is unclear, but interestingly enough, Hylia doesn’t mind that it closely resembles her own statues. So, this raises the question… why isn’t Demise a forgotten statue somewhere along a dusty road? How did he curse(?) both a reborn goddess and a human in an eternal struggle for the fate of Hyrule?

        Being a god is about the only explanation for why he can do the things that he does. It explains why, in every incarnation, he ends up a rule (like Zelda). How he controls so many different species with ease. He corrupts the conflicted as easily as breathing. An interesting note is how Demise in his many forms usually ends up corrupting once good forces in some way, typically with parasites or evil spirits. And with this context, Hylia must be a Goddess of Light, and possibly some form of Will and Purity to oppose Demise’s power. It would also make her a good candidate for looking after the Triforce in that case. And yet we don’t know any of this for sure either, which is, again, very strange considering their presence from the very beginning. Literally.

Now, I want to mention the temples as a last point before wrapping this up, because it has bothered me since I was a wee little whipper snapper. For a place of worship, they sure are hard to navigate, even when they’re empty of monsters. And it’s not like Hyrule doesn’t get this, because the Temple of Time in Ocarina of Time is straight up a church. Just… without pews, so clearly not perfect, but it is possible for people to come in and… worship time, I guess. And no, not the Goddess of Time, because there’s no statue for that. I mean, I know it’s secretly hiding the Master Sword, but it is definitely a church otherwise. What a normal service looks like I can’t say for sure, but it’s definitely not like literally any other temples we see.

        Now, I know it’s a little hard to remember, but temples are usually places where one goes to worship the gods (or even just a god). And we know gods exist in a very real way in Hyrule! They still manage to name Zelda the same thing despite having seemingly buried their divine origins, so some knowledge of gods walking the mortal realm exists. But the temples/dungeons we see usually don’t have much in the way of religious iconography, with a few exceptions (interestingly it’s typically the desert area that actually has statues and could feasibly have had a real capacity for worship). You want to be a devout follower of a god anywhere else? Well, fuck you. Hope you brought a sword and a good pair of boots. If you’re allowed inside at all, since it’s usually the local leaders that are only allowed inside for some reason. And most games don’t seem to have very religious people, despite all the references to divinity. Not like we’d expect them to, at least. And I personally can’t blame them. If I tried to join a religion but found only a wall as an entrance, I’d be pretty disheartened too. Then I’d be pretty pissed to find out I needed not only a royal instrument handed down the monarchy, but their freaking lullaby to even get in to the place of worship. But we know they pray to the gods at least semi-often, since that’s one of the inciting incidences in Wind Waker. And they have offering to statues of Hylia.

        The temples suggest the bar to impress the gods is pretty high, and not in a ‘sacrifice your eldest child’ kind of way. To even get the chance to reach the inner chambers you better hope it’s been kept well and that you didn’t skip leg day recently. Something I didn’t really mention before is that usually, the less involved the gods are, the more independent the people are from worship. If you worry that your local deity will flood your fields, you’re probably leaving regular offerings at their nearby shrine or temple. But if you know that the gods don’t care about literally anything you do, why worship them at all? Why make statues, art, or temples? Why bother with any of it? The answer is you don’t. So these highly selective temples are pretty weird unless you go with the idea the gods are just really done with people and never want to talk to them unless absolutely necessary.

So, I’ve rambled for over twelve pages now. What’s the point? What does any of this mean? I’m honestly not sure, but I have a sinking feeling that there’s some serious shit going on in the Hyrule pantheon. Mortals have been mostly abandoned to their doom. Gods cast out and forgotten entirely. And somehow advanced civilizations keep forming and getting destroyed with only remnants left behind with zero explanation. Assuming the original gods are even alive at this point, which I’m not entirely certain of. Their death certainly explains how Demise/Ganon keeps getting stronger, looking less and less Hylian as time goes on, if he looks humanoid to begin with.

I wouldn’t even assume it’s entirely voluntary at this point either, as Ganon clearly doesn’t have the same motivations in every incarnation (see my previous post about Wind Waker). I’m rather excited about Breath of the Wild 2, as the implications of dehydrated husk Ganon is compelling. Particularly in light of the character development Link and Zelda have received in the first Breath of the Wild. I wouldn’t be surprised if Ganon/Demise turns out to be a fallen god trying to get back home (a nice parallel to Wind Waker, actually), cast out as a scape goat. Blamed for every form of corruption and greed that naturally follows in his wake. I think I said this before, but it is interesting that he is always reborn among the Gerudo, a race famously all females. Sometimes thieves, but nearly always in a position that would naturally crave power to take control of their lives compared to Hylians. Regardless of the consequences.

Is it true? I don’t know. Probably not, but the fact that I can draw these conclusions in three hours of writing is pretty neat. I have a lot of feelings about this franchise, having grown up with it, but I eagerly await what comes next. And I should probably go to bed. Make of all this what you will.

#Legend of Zelda #Botw #majora's mask #Wind Waker #hyrule warriors #link #zelda #hylia #ganon #demise #this series hurts my brain #or maybe it's the lack of sleep #if this makes sense to anyone i will be happy #but there are some series conspiracy vibes going on behind the scenes here #just like #everything #all of it #it's weird how mixed things are #and each game makes it worse somehow?!? #ngl i love it anyway

[ahiijny]

Okay, I finally, FINALLY got around to watching Kimi no Na wa

I finished watching it just now so this is just an unorganized stream of thoughts in no particular order lol

(spoilers obviously, be warned)

I really liked it!

Watching Taki and Mitsuha trying to interact with each others' respective friends and just coming off as really weird in the process was really fun to watch.

And the songs were really good too. The end credits song, that's some good English pronunciation o.o

So going into the movie the two main spoilers I already knew about it (just from cultural osmosis from the internet) was that it involved the boy and the girl switching bodies and that the plot twist was that there was actually some kind of 3 year offset.

But also somehow for the like 5 years that this movie has been out I completely managed to avoid the spoiler about how the comet completely yeeted the town off the face of the planet.

like, WTF o.o

When I got to that part in the movie I was actually legit surprised. I was like "oh shit". "Oh shiiiiit". When I saw those "do not enter, keep out" signs, my heart just sank. Well... that explains why they didn't switch any more after that. That's a RIP -_-;;

Okay okay, other stuff.

The background art in this movie was GORGEOUS. So detailed and sharp looking. And the animation looked really good too. Not just the hype actiony moments but also the very subtle, minute movements as well. Very smooth etc. I'm not an animation expert so obviously my opinion probably doesn't mean very much but I think it looked good!

The town is called Itomori, ito means "thread" in Japanese, nice.

The rice + sake stuff felt kinda creepy, idk. Traditional ceremonies why are you like this

Mitsuha's younger sister has lots of entrepreneurial ideas huh.

Fortunately their phones don't have passcodes, otherwise they wouldn't have been able to use each others' phones.

And also the subs in that scene where Mitsuha-in-Taki's body was meeting his friends for the first time had a really clever way of translating the nuance of "watashi" vs. "watakushi" / "boku" / "ore", with phrases like "a girl like me" vs. "a guy like me". Noice.

Tokyo is expensive huh.

Also Taki's senpai is quite perceptive.

And Taki is quite a good artist o.o

The diaries are being corrupted and deleted? Well that's kinda sus

Okay but looking through the obituaries and seeing "Mitsuha, age 17" in there. That's horrifying.

When he woke up in her body again, but before the comet struck, that gave me Life Is Strange vibes. I love time travel stories.

But also these kids, how did they not notice that the year was completely different? Or that the days of the week didn't align with the day of the month? ehh I guess you can handwave it away with memory shenanigans (I mean, if it's during a dream, then your memory recall is pretty wonky anyway). But kids these days, not even looking aware of the full YYYY-MM-DD they're living in smh. Unobservant brats (I joke, I love them)

"You were the one within me" that... uh, that sounds kinda lewd >_<;; (I'm sorry, that's the first place my mind went, forgive me)

also RIP Tessie's bike

and also, Mitsuha's friends are the true MVPs. Sayaka has a very good convincing broadcaster voice. Also Tessie coming in clutch with the explosives know-how and the airwaves hijacking know-how. Committing acts of domestic terrorism just for their friend. Geez. This kind of trust and loyalty is rare. Treasure it.

Also when they were trying to remember each other's names I was like "WRITE IT DOWN BEFORE YOU FORGET" but then I was like "wait the comet can erase stuff even from digital phones, it can probably erase sharpie marks too, noooo" so then when he went to grab the sharpie to write her name and then forgot I was like "fuq u forgot"

Also holy wow, I REALLY need to get more exercise. If I were in this movie I would like, collapse over ded after like less than 1 minute of running because I am NOT in shape at all. These kids are the real MVPs, doing all that running o.o

Like how far away is that mysterious god's body shrine place from the rest of the town? When Taki-in-Mitsuha and her sister and grandma went to visit it, it was like an entire day's hike or something. And Taki-in-Mitsuha biked part of the way there and RAN the rest of the way and then Mitsuha ran all the way back and this was all after it got dark but before around 8pm or so. And they still had to convince Mitsuha's dad about the situation and they had to get everyone out of the town too. The timetable was SO TIGHT. Geez. It gives me anxiety just thinking about it.

Also, the town alert system! Tessie's knowledge about demolition stuff and liking of radio stuff! It was all foreshadowed/established near the beginning of the movie. Noice!

Anyway, the timeskip (I should really rewatch Weathering with You sometime so that I can actually catch all of the cameos this time lol).

Tessie and Saya got together, noice.

The end... ASDLKFJKLDSFJLAKSDFJ LKJSDAFKL J they finally

They were walking past each other up on the stairs, so I was worried! I mean, it makes sense! It's just some stranger, and you probably sound delusional talking about these weird dreams of yours that you don't even remember! Imagine if you're like "hey have we met somewhere before?" and they look at you like "dafaq?? weirdo"

I mean, that already happened with Mitsuha 8 years ago on that train. So I guess it's Taki's turn to call out this time. I'm glad he did.

Also you can't just leave me hanging there alksdjfkl;djl;akjsdf

pls I need to see them catch up with each other and try to reconstruct what happened and how they know each other from their fragmented memories and reminisce on mutually cringe memories and so on etc.

But all in all that was a pretty good movie! 9.3/10

#kimi no na wa #your name #kimi no na wa spoilers #ahi's ramblings

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Michael in the Mainstream: Epic Rap Battles of History

In September of 2010, a series began that would spend the decade growing, expanding, improving, and even attracting controversy: Epic Rap Battles of History. The concept is simple - take two characters from history or pop culture and have them get into a rap battle where every single line is loaded with clever allusions to the participants. From there, it can go in really any direction - rappers can jump into the middle of a battle, rappers can team up, battles can be heavily skewed in one direction… there’s a lot of variance.

Watching the series grow into something as impressive and well-done as it is nowadays has been quite an experience. The first battle, “John Lennon vs Bill O’Reilly,” is honestly pretty bad by today’s standards, with a weak beat, poor costumes, bad impressions, and just a general lack of polish. But it did have something to it, something that would come to light as more and more episodes were released - Peter Shukoff and Lloyd Ahlquist really had a knack for rapping. I think the best part of the series over the past ten years is watching them go from the green rappers in that original video to incredibly talented and clever writers, singers, and actors, delivering stellar performances left and right in the more recent seasons.

With their first decade behind them, I’ve decided to go season by season and look at what worked and what didn’t as the show grew and evolved. I give an overview of each season, talk about some of the strengths and weaknesses they exhibited, and then go over the best and worst characters and battles of each season.

So, as the announcer says at the end of every intro... BEGIN!!!

Season 1

It’s hard to totally hate this season, but boy is it hard to love it. This was their first season, and their first batch of battles, so I think a little leeway needs to be given here; it’s clear they’re trying to find their footing and see what works and what doesn’t in terms of matchup and characterization. This leads to a lot of the battles of season one feeling really weird in hindsight, with the infamous “Genghis Khan vs The Easter Bunny” being the most standout example.

However, that’s just the most notable bit of wonkiness; there are plenty more decisions and matchups that really seem baffling in hindsight. One of the biggest ones is when Peter portrayed Lady Gaga in a rap battle against Sarah Palin of all people. This leads to a lot of the jokes Palin lobs being a bit more uncomfortable than they would have been if a woman played Gaga; this is notably the only time a female character has been portrayed by a man to this date. 

Beyond that some of the matchups are just really nonsensical or rely too much on outdated memes. The worst offender in both regards is probably “Abraham Lincoln vs Chuck Norris,” which features Peter delivering one of his greatest performances in the series as Lincoln against a Lloyd-portrayed Norris who does nothing but spout “Chuck Norris Facts” thst we’re tired and unfunny even back in 2010. Likewise, Vince Offer popping up as backup for Billy Mays is pretty of-the-time, but that battle is actually good so it gets a pass. 

Still, there are a lot more battles that do work or at least show a lot of promise. Look no further than the second battle in the series and the one that put them on the map, “Adolf Hitler vs Darth Vader.” While it’s a bit basic lyrically and not quite up to the later standards of the series, it’s easy to see why this became as big as it did. Zack Sherwin and George Watsky get their first guest spots here as Einstein and Shakespeare respectively, and both of them kill it in their roles, with the former even being part of one of the season’s best battles. It’s definitely easy to see why these two are the most reoccurring guest stars in the series. 

Ultimately, season one is uneven and experimental, but shows a lot of promise. I think the datedness of some of the battles, particularly in regards to the ones featuring characters like Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga; using these two in particular so early in their careers really robbed us, particularly in the case of Bieber, whose decade-long downward spiral would have made for some really interesting disses. Then there are characters like Mr. Rogers and Genghis Khan, who are just wasted on completely mismatched opponents. There is good stuff here, but it lacks the polish later battles would have, making it hard to recommend revisiting this one. I’d say that with a few notable exceptions, you can safely skip this season.

Best Battle: “Albert Einstein vs Stephen Hawking” is probably the best battle of the sesaon; while the original Hitler/Vader battle is iconic, this one was one of the more clever early battles and if nothing else gave us the first Zach Sherwin performance and an awesome and faithful rendition of Hawking.

Worst Battle: “Genghis Khan vs the Easter Bunny.” As if it could be anything else.

Best Characters: 

Lloyd: Abe Lincoln, despite being in one of the weaker battles of the season, immediately cemented himself as one of Peter’s best characters, and it definitely helps he has some pretty hard and creative disses, particularly his line involving Chuck Norris crying his cancer-curing tears on his filmography. It’s no wonder Lincoln is the only president who keeps coming back.

Peter: Darth Vader became one of the most iconic characters in the first few seasons for a reason, and despite his weaker lines here than in his sequels, he still manages to be as cool and intimidating as Darth Vader in a rap battle should be.

Guest: Albert Einstein was Zach Sherwin’s first appearance in the series, and what a first appearance it is! It really isn’t a shock he has been invited back time and time again, as he is an absolute blast in this battle.

Worst Characters: 

Lloyd: Chuck Norris is the clear loser in terms of Lloyd’s characters this season. He’s nothing but a string of tired memes, and offers no insight into Norris at all. Frankly it would have been nice if they ripped into Norris harder, seeing as he’s a right-winger, homophobe, and Trump supporter. Portraying him as some cool, unstoppable force really leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

Peter: Lady Gaga, hands down, and it’s not that hard a decision. She was portrayed terribly and it really is a shame they didn’t wait until later in her career to use her, because there is so much more interesting things to say about her now than back when they made the rap battle and the most interesting things to riff on were the stupid rumors that she was a hermaphrodite and her weird outfits.

Guest: Alex Farnham’s Justin Bieber is whiny, obnoxious, gets few good lines, and is more than a little mean-spirited; keep in mind, this was made early in Bieber’s career, when his only crime was being a kid with a music career who made songs some people hated. It just seems cruel, and considering how he would turn out a few years later, a world of missed opportunity… but that’s par for the course for season one.

Season 2

Season two was the proverbial “growing the beard” moment for the series. Coming out a month after season one, the new episodes already seemed bigger and more polished, starting off strong with a rematch between Hitler and Vader more epic than the original. Things continued solidly until the season peaked with the masterpiece that is “Steve Jobs vs Bill Gates.” That battle was a huge game changer, and took the series to new heights, heights the rest of the season after struggled to meet. 

The big problem is that about half of the battles post-“Steve Jobs vs Bill Gates” are incredibly forgettable or even bad. “Doc Brown vs Doctor Who” is on the forgettable side, as is the first-ever election battle, which pitted Obama up against Mitt Romney. Romney alone should tell you why this battle is so forgettable; it’s a battle you really had to be there in the moment for, and is frankly a good argument as to why election battles should not be done. It’s not awful by any means, but it really isn’t memorable or relevant.

On the bad side, we have “Frank Sinatra vs Freddie Mercury,” “Batman Vs Sherlock Holmes,” and the infamous “Adam vs Eve.” The former two mostly suffer from awful characterization, with Sinatra being set up in the same way Justin Bieber was to be the clear loser. There’s nothing wrong with a curbstomp rap battle obviously, but considering how Sinatra is NOT a reviled figure like Bieber, this one goes over very poorly. Batman on the other hand mainly suffers from being horribly characterized and having extremely repetitive verses, with both his verses basically reiterating the same points. Neither battle is godawful, but they don’t really make good cases for themselves.

Then there is “Adam vs Eve.” This battle is widely regarded as the worst battle of not only the season, but THE ENTIRE SERIES. There is a very good reason for that: this battle is a massive departure from the style and tone of the series. Adam and Eve here represent stereotypical sitcom man and woman; there are very few Biblical references and the whole thing is very one-sided in Eve’s favor, with the battle basically ending with Adam apologizing for calling Eve a bitch… after she spent the past few minutes insulting his sexual prowess and penis size. There are a lot of double standards here, and it would only have been worse if God’s planned cameo was kept in, where he unambiguously sides with Eve.

But let’s not pretend like these are more than exceptions that prove the rule. Season two is remarkably solid, to the point where some battles have aged far better than you would expect. The prime example of this is “Cleopatra vs Marilyn Monroe;” at the time derided by audiences as just a battle consisting of nothing but slut-shaming, looking back it is a very strong yet lighthearted entry between two incredibly intense battles that has a great beat, clever lines, and strong performances from the two ladies. There are a couple of other underrated gems of the season but this one takes the cake.

The season is notable for a lot of big firsts. This is the first season to nab mainstream celebrities as guests, getting Keegan-Michael Key, Jordan Peele, and Snoop Dogg himself to portray Gandhi, MLK, and Moses, respectively. Unsurprisingly the battles featuring them are some of the very best of the season. It’s also the first season with a woman vs woman battle where both characters are portrayed by women, to much better results than the previous one. It’s the first season to have a two-on-two battle, with the second battle of the season featuring the Mario Bros battling the Wright brothers. 

The biggest first however was the new style introduced in the finale: the Royale. This style of battle is basically a one on one to start, with each rapper getting one verse and then after the second rapper’s verse a third party barged in to school them, followed by a fourth and then a fifth. This first one featured famous figures from Russian history: Rasputin, Stalin, Lenin, Gorbachev, and Putin, and it is fun and hilarious, though Putin’s portrayal is definitely a product of its time and clearly made before people realized how evil he is.

This season also has some notable missed opportunities unique to it. The first is that there is a whole scrapped battle that was even teased in the trailer for season two, which would have had Hillary Clinton rapping against King Henry VIII. Peter and Lloyd were disappointed with how the audio came out and so permanently shelved it, though the audio is available online. It would have been interesting to see how it would have turned out, though the audio does not paint the best picture and the battle likely would have been forgettable. Still, it would have been interesting to have both parties in the 2016 election battle be returning rappers. 

The second is that, to date, season two is the only season to use video game characters, with Mario, Luigi, and Master Chief being the sole representatives of the art form. This gets weirder with every passing year, as video games continue to become more mainstream and characters like Solid Snake, Samus, Phoenix Wright, Lara Croft, and Kratos continue to be popular suggestions for battles. It just feels like a lot of opportunities are being missed, though there’s always hope now that fans have more say than ever.

Overall, season two was a big, confident stride forward for the series. While there are a few stingers and forgettable battles here and there, the majority live up to the title of the series. I’d say that, moreso than season one, this is a great starting point for the series, This season marks the beginning of what I’d like to call the Golden Age, and I would say there are very few episodes here you should skip.

Best Battle: “Steve Jobs vs Bill Gates,” which is not as easy a decision as it seems considering the quality of the season overall. Still, this one probably holds up the best out of all of the episodes, with the rhymes, flow, disses, and beat all being legendary and the surprise interjection from HAL 9000 being nothing short of awesome.

Worst Battle: “Adam vs Eve,” which again, is probably also the worst battle of the entire series.

Best Character: 

Lloyd: Gorbachev is the winner here. He’s just a funny, goofy ditz of a Russian leader, and he definitely schools all of the other arguing Russians. His beat is unique and a lot of fun, which definitely helps him stand out even more. 

Peter: Peter has a lot of great roles this season, but it’s hard to not give the win to Santa, because Peter was able to hold his own against SNOOP DOGG. Speaking of which...

Guest: Snoop Dogg’s Moses is the standout in a season with no shortage of cool guests. I mean, come on, it’s Snoop 

Worst Character:

Lloyd: Adam, hands down, and keep in mind Lloyd also played the now-irrelevant Mitt Romney this season. Adam sucked so bad a bland politician outdid him.

Peter: I’m not sure who told Peter to play Batman like that, but… yeah. Batman sucks here. I hope they bring him back and do him justice someday.

Guest: Jenna Marbles is completely wasted as Eve. 

Season 3

Out of the three Golden Age seasons (2 - 4), I think season three is the most uneven and messy. While there are obviously some great battles here - it is part of the Golden Age after all - there are a lot of bad and awkward battles, or at the very least there aren’t as many great battles to make the bad ones seem less egregious. The tone is set by the season opener, the third and final battle between Hitler and Vader which despite a cool Boba Fett cameo ends up feeling underwhelming and boring. 

The real issue with this season is that, while there aren’t too many genuinely bad battles this season, even the good ones feel a bit off. For the bad, we have “Miley Cyrus vs Joan of Arc,” which wastes one of history’s most badass woman against a flash-in-the-pan pop star; this battle has very few defenders, and gave woman back woman rap battles even more (undeserved) flack. To the season’s credit it doesn’t really get worse, and the only other weak battles are “George Washington vs William Wallace” (which not only conflates the fictionalized version of Wallace from Braveheart with the real one, but makes George Washington way more boring than he should be) and “Rick Grimes vs Walter White” (which feels like a ratings grab riding off of the coattails of two popular shows, though Lloyd really kills it as Walt).

For the good ones, a lot are held back from the lofty greatness of season two’s best by disappointing flaws. “Superman vs Goku” is fun and performs the miracle of making Ray William Johnson cool for two minutes, but it just feels way too short, especially considering the massive histories of the characters. The finale has a similar issue with shortness; “Artists vs Turtles” pits the TMNT against their namesakes, and the first verse and beat are fantastic, but the turtles get absolutely shafted on lyrics and the whole battle comes off as feeling uneven. This wouldn’t be so bad if this wasn’t a four-on-Four battle. “Stephen King vs Edgar Allen Poe” is so close to being great, as it has fantastic lyrics and a great Watsky performance, but Zach Sherwin chose a weird, raspy voice for King that brings the battle down a bit. It’s kind of sad that a battle between ERB’s two most popular guests is hampered by such an odd choice.

Still, when the season is great, it is GREAT. Key and Peele return, this time playing MICHAEL Jordan and Muhammed Ali respectively, and they kill it. Weird Al shows up playing Isaac Newton and, as expected, is amazing in his battle against Bill Nye. And the series introduces a new, very interesting type of rap battle - the story battle/gauntlet battle. Basically, there is one consistent rapper, and they rap against multiple opponents in succession, usually with some sort of storyline. And what better story to turn into a rap battle than A Christmas Carol? Scrooge goes up against Donald Trump, J.P. Morgan, Kanye West, and the Grim Reaper to learn the true meaning of Christmas, and it’s every bit as awesome as it sounds.

Season three is definitely a good season, and the weaker battles are still worth a listen even if they do have some issues; the only one I’d say is unlistenably bad is “Miley Cyrus vs Joan of Arc” due to how offensive the wasting of Joan is. I feel like people listening to this season will have wildly different opinions on which battles are good, bad, and great, so even if it feels a bit wonky there’s no denying it’s worth a listen.

Best Battle: “Donald Trump vs Ebenezer Scrooge” is a real game changer, and is not only fantastic, but as its only use of profanity is censored you can reasonably play this at a holiday party! If you ever need your quick fix of the Dickens classic, this is the way to get it, as this is remarkably faithful and very good at condensing the story into a rap battle.

Worst Battle: “Miley Cyrus vs Joan of Arc” is just absolutely unforgivable; Joan deserved a more fitting opponent than Cyrus. Katniss was often a suggested opponent, but I feel like even that would be bad, as Katniss has faded from the cultural consciousness over time unlike someone like Harry Potter. Still, Joan deserved way better than to be wasted for some throwaway curbstomp battle.

Best Characters: 

Lloyd: Lloyd shows how good it feels to be a gangster with his portrayal of Al Capone, which manages to elevate the battle a bit higher despite the rather cheesy (but not bad) portrayal of Blackbeard opposite him.

Peter: Death, the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come, is utterly chilling, devoid of humor, and delivers one of the most legitimately terrifying verses in the series. This is why this ghost doesn’t usually get to speak in adaptations - because not only is he utterly terrifying, he steals the whole show. Peter really killed it with this one.

Guest: A lot of good guests popped in this season, but only one of them was Weird Al as Sir Isaac Newton. His flow is incredible, showing he has come a long way from “I Can’t Watch This.”  He even gets a fast rap segment where he gets to show off his “Hardware Store” skills.

Worst Characters: 

As uneven as the season felt, Peter and Lloyd actually managed to stay remarkably consistent; Lloyd didn’t play any character I can say was ‘bad’ by any stretch. For a given value of “worst,” Peter’s Donald Trump just pales in comparison to Lloyd’s a couple seasons later. But again, as uneven as the season was, Peter and Lloyd really didn’t do bad. This is the point where the duo really began to come into their own and develop as performers, with them rarely turning in a bad performance from here on out. 

The guest, on the other hand... Michelle Glavan’s Miley suffers from the same problems Bieber did two seasons prior - except her battle feels less like a funny curbstomp battle and more like they actually tried to make Miley Cyrus on the same level as ST. JOAN OF ARC.

Season 4

This is, without a doubt, the absolute best season of ERB. This is when they truly found their groove, knew what they were doing, and did nothing but pump out hit after hit after hit. It’s to the point where there is really only one bad battle in the season, and it’s not nearly as offensive as previous season’s stinkers.

Right out the gate this season proved itself by ditching the old tradition of Hitler and Vader and instead delivering up a highly requested matchup - in this case the Ghostbusters and the Mythbusters. The real treat isn’t merely the pitch-perfect portrayals, but the appearance at the end by the B Team and the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, which cemented this as a fantastic and unique opening. From here, it was almost nothing but fantastic battles until the midseason finale, which was a battle royale of film directors.

Many argued that the season lost steam upon coming back from break, as “Lewis and Clark vs Bill and Ted” was a bit underwhelming as a return, but from there the season picked up with the criminally underrated “David Copperfield vs Harry Houdini” and then continuing up with the quality, the season peaking with “Eastern Philisophers vs Western Philosophers,” a fantastic showdown between some of the greatest thinkers of history. Somehow “Shaka Zulu vs Julius Caesar” kept up the pace, but I will say the season faltered a bit at the ending. 

While “Jim Henson vs Stan Lee” is not bad, and is especially sweet and heartwarming in light of Stan Lee’s death, the use of Walt Disney as a soulless supervillain representing the monopolistic tendencies of his company and not the man himself is a rather contentious choice. It doesn’t help that the battle feels a lot more mellow and peaceful, which mostly has to do with the two men battling. It frankly feels like this should have been the midseason opener and the philosopher battle should have been the finale, since the latter battle feels a lot more epic and climactic. 

The only truly bad battle of the season is, unfortunately, “Oprah vs Ellen,” which did nothing to alleviate the stigma of women characters in rap battles. I feel like the major issue with this one is that Oprah just has terrible lines and delivery, with some of her lines having painfully forced rhymes. Not helping is that it came hot on the heels of “Jack the Ripper vs Hannibal Lecter,” one of the best battles of season four’s first half.

Still, that’s a small blip on this season’s radar. To wrap things up on a more positive note, this season features perhaps the most unique battle in the franchise: “Zeus vs Thor.” Not only is it the only battle between deities so far, it is also the only battle animated entirely with Legos. It not only helps it stand out due to its unique style, it makes the battle more timeless and not prone to aging poorly in terms of visuals. It’s just overall a showcase of the brilliance of Peter and Lloyd - which is really something that can be said of the whole season.

This is, once again, the very best season of the show. It’s almost nothing but incredible, fantastic works from start to finish. Even the couple of battles that I feel are a bit weak tend to have some good stuff going for them. This was really where the series was at the top of its game, and I genuinely feel that there was nowhere they could go from here but down… and down they did go.

Best Battle: In a season full of fantastic battles, the gold medal still undoubtedly must go to the philosopher battle. The awesome beat! Laozi beatboxing! Nietzsche! It’s really something special.

Worst Battle: “Oprah vs Ellen,” for the reasons stated above. It’s not even so much that it’s bad as it is really underwhelming and filled with awkward lines, but it does stick out as notably poor in an otherwise stellar season.

Best Characters: 

Lloyd: This is another Stellar season for Peter and Lloyd; it’s hard to pick just one great performance, but Lloyd voicing Stay Puft is certainly a hilarious treat.

Peter: Peter’s portrayal of Julius Caesar is one of the best showcases of his acting talents this season. I’d say it’s tied with Robocop, who Peter also knocks out of the park.

Guest: This season was absolutely stellar in regards to guests, so honestly picking the best is really a tossup. A personal favorite of mine is Dan Bull’s Jack the Ripper, who is equal parts chilling and entertaining.

Worst Character: It could only be Oprah, what with her painful rhymes and poor verses. That being said, she’s probably the only rapper I could stretch to call bad this season, as Peter and Lloyd has no bad showings and the other guests were pretty great.

Season 5

Welcome to the Dark Age. Season five is without a doubt the most divisive season of the series, and I do feel that that is a bit unwarranted because there are some truly fantastic battles here, probably more than there were in Golden Age seasons like three. The major issue with this season is not really a problem with the battles themselves, but a two-pronged meta problem: burnout, and the toxic fanbase.

The burnout was a long time coming. Peter and Lloyd had been doing ERB nonstop for half the decade at the point this season came out, and as the finale of the season, a rematch between Peter and Lloyd, showed the two were tired, frustrated, and hitting walls in terms of creativity. They obviously loved the series - there was still plenty of passion, creativity, and wit in the battles - but they needed a break, especially since Peter had recently become a father. 

The other issue was far less predictable. When the 2010s began, making fun of Nazis and conservative ideology was cool, fun, and pretty much what anyone with a functioning brain was doing. But over the 2010s, a lot of radicalization began occurring due to social media and its ability to give platforms to awful people who shouldn’t be allowed to talk. Nazis, alt-right, conservatives, anti-SJWs, they all started building up over the decade and trying to wage a culture-wide war on sensitivity and empathy, instead trying to convince others that the plight of those who are disadvantaged due to how the ruling class structured society is not worth addressing and that things are fine the way they are. Trump’s depressingly successful presidential campaign did nothing but embolden and strengthen the resolve of these creeps, and that kind of leads into the three most contentious battles of the season - “Frederick Douglass vs Thomas Jefferson,” “Donald Trump vs Hillary Clinton,” and “Bruce Banner vs Bruce Jenner.”

“Frederick Douglass vs Thomas Jefferson” got a lot of flack for seemingly being one-sided in Douglass’ favor, with him almost solely attacking Jefferson for his owning of slaves and not really establishing himself well. While the battle isn’t particularly engaging and I didn’t really come out feeling like I learned much about Douglass, a lot of the criticisms at the time seemed more focused on being angry that this battle addressed that slavery was actually a thing at all and that the battle watered things down to “Jefferson bad!” This is of course disregarding that even Douglass admits in his final verse that Jefferson did a lot for the country, but that we need to address the bad parts of him more than we do. Still, this was small potatoes compared to the latter two battles.

These two battles are what made Pete and Lloyd really pause due to the negative reactions both battles garnered. The election battle received a lot of criticism for seemingly having a “left-wing bias,” as despite it following a similar structure to the previous presidential election battle, Lincoln’s appearance was a lot more focused on berating and abusing Trump. One needs to keep in mind though that Trump had already definitively shown he was a racist, misogynistic scumbag at this point in the presidential race, all of his lines were based on things he actually said, and he was pretty much the strongest rapper in the battle, getting in a lot of good disses. The battle is only “one-sided” in the minds of people who want to be angry at everything; it’s no more one sided than any of the Hitler and Vader fights, it just so happens that one combatant is more evil than the other and so deserves more abuse. 

“Banner vs Jenner” seemed to get flack almost entirely due to its acknowledgment that trans people exist. I will be the first to admit that Caitlin Jenner is not really the best person to be using to push a pro-LGBT+ message, especially considering her political leanings, but the fact remains that there was a massive influx of transphobic comments in regards to the battle, mostly with very tired “The connection is they are Bruces who turn into monsters Lol” jokes. This drowned out a lot of legitimate criticisms of the battle - namely, that Jenner got to ramble on for several bars in her second verse while Hulk barely got to get in any good jabs. It’s even more disappointing because the first verses for both rappers was fantastic, and the second half of the battle looked to be shaping into something great… and then Jenner rambled on and on and on. But it was hard to find much constructive criticism because there was just so much hate and tasteless comments. Stuff like that upset Peter and Lloyd, as they had assumed their fanbase was more progressive and forward-thinking, but with how the internet works, they severely misjudged the kinds of people who had infested their fanbase. 

It really is a shame that those battles tend to overshadow the entire season five conversation, because boy are there some really great battles here. There’s underrated gems like the overhated “Wonder Woman vs Stevie Wonder,” strong female rappers like Julia Child in her battle against Gordon Ramsay, long-requested matchups like “James Bond vs Austin Powers,” and even a great story battle with “Ivan the Terrible vs Alexander the Great,” which has Ivan murdering his way through historical figures with “The Great” in their titles. It’s a lot of fun, and Peter’s performance as Ivan is a showcase of his talents.

However, the season’s greatest contribution to the series is most definitely the penultimate battle, which is “Theodore Roosevelt vs Winston Churchill.” This might very well be the most epic battle in the series: the ever-popular announcer for ERB’s news jumping in to battle the only man in history who could possibly be ballsy enough to stand up to him. It’s to the point where even as the battle ends, the two are still roughly on even footing and it’s hard to say who won. If this had been the season finale, or even the series finale if they had decided not to continue, things would be perfect.

This season is overshadowed by controversy, and it really isn’t totally fair. Most of the controversy is around the guys trying to be more progressive and for punching hard at Trump but not Clinton, and while I can’t say I love the results (the controversial battles are definitely the weakest of the season) it really shouldn’t be held against them for trying to be socially conscious and they certainly should not be shamed, berated, or told to leave politics out of their battles (rap is an inherently personal genre, so politics are always going to find a way in, especially if the characters they’re portraying are, you know, politicians). I think a lot of great battles are overlooked, all because of the more controversial ones, and that’s a real shame, because this is a solid season only held back by the controversy it found itself mired in due to the state of the internet at the time.

Best Battle: “Theodore Roosevelt vs Winston Churchill,” naturally.

Worst Battle: “Bruce Banner vs Bruce Jenner,” though it entirely comes down to how the second half of the battle was handled; having this be the battle was not in itself a bad idea, and was actually pretty clever. The poor, lopsided battle biased in the favor of a character who is a terrible person in real life simply because they’re trans (or at least that’s kind of the vibe the episode gives) really doesn’t help. Frankly I wish they had given the first trans character in the series honor to someone more worthy, like the Wachowski sisters.

Best Character: 

Lloyd: Teddy Roosevelt is the obvious choice, but I almost feel like it’s cheating since he is a mainstay on the channel. If we discount him, Frederick the Great is the clear winner for stealing a whole battle in twelve bars.

Peter: It’s honestly a tie between Austin Powers and Ivan the Terrible. Peter really rocked it with his performances in this season, and those two are some of his best roles ever.

Guest: In one of the most out-there yet awesome guest spots ever, we have T-Pain as Stevie Wonder, ditching the auto tune and delivering sick rhymes while tastefully portraying Stevie’s blindness.

Worst Character: Once again, Peter and Lloyd manage not to put in any bad performances, which really is a testament to how far they’ve come as entertainers.That only leaves one spot, the guest, and it really has to go to the elephant in the room: No Shame’s Caitlin Jenner.

I don’t really blame No Shame here; because she had the unenviable position of playing Jenner in the first place; Jenner is not exactly a beloved figure in the LGBT+ community or otherwise, and while it is cool they got a trans rapper to play a trans character, I feel like backlash here was inevitable just because of who it was.

What doesn’t help is that Jenner rambles on for a ludicrous amount of bars, getting in way more disses than Hulk did and not having any of her negative qualities addressed, which is especially baffling considering her real life political leanings and manslaughter charge being ripe for mockery. It ultimately comes off as tokenism, like they were trying to force a win for the first trans character by handicapping her opponent and ignoring her flaws, which ultimately backfired as most people give the win to Banner/Hulk as opposed to Jenner.

I really hope ERB does a trans character again, because there are plenty of interesting trans people throughout history, but I really hope they avoid the pitfalls Jenner fell into and make it a fair and balanced rap battle.

Season 6

After a hiatus that lasted through 2017 and until the end of 2018, the boys dropped a bonus battle to show they were coming back. And lo and behold, in the spring of 2019 season six dropped! While it is only half over by the decade’s end, one thing is for sure: Peter and Lloyd are back in top form.

The battles this time around seem to be a lot of highly requested matchups, which is not a huge shock - I believe certain tiers of donors who support them get a direct line to speak to the people behind ERB. It’s to the point where Robin Williams appearing in the comedian battle Royale was not the original plan, but he was so highly requested they added him in. Continuing the trend of popular requests opening seasons, this one kicks off with the long-awaited “Freddy Krueger vs Wolverine.” It’s clear how much their lyricism has improved, and the visuals in the battle are incredible, setting the bar high for the season.

Most of the battles in the first half sadly don’t try and go for creative backgrounds, sadly; only “Joker vs Pennywise” and “Jacques Cousteau vs Steve Irwin” really do interesting stuff with their backgrounds. Still, the other battles make up for it in other ways, typically with deft lyricism and great flow. In fact, even though not all the battles are top-tier, it’s telling that the weakest battle so far is “Mother Teresa vs Sigmund Freud,” which only suffers because of how repetitive the disses get, especially on Freud’s end - Teresa’s flow and disses hit hard, Freud has a solid second verse, and the best is very fun. The worst thing I can say about it is that it feels like a holdover from season two, and considering this has been a matchup they’ve wanted to do for a long time, it wouldn’t shock me if it is.

The production values are astounding, and the overall visuals are the best in the series, but alas there are some hiccups. Freddy Krueger and Thanos in particular look a bit off; their battles are obviously not bad, but the costumes leave something to be desired, though considering these guys aren’t a multimillion dollar film studio it’s fair to cut a little bit of slack. What can’t be excused, however. Is the constant use of outdated memes, the worst offender being a reference to “What Does the Fox Say” in the rap battle between Che Guevara and Guy Fawkes (Side note: it is absolutely hilarious that Guy Fawkes and Joker both debuted in this season, considering… well… this). Almost every battle so far this season has contained a dated visual or lyrical reference, though they don’t really ruin the battles.

Overall, the season is extremely good so far, and showcases perfectly how far Peter and Lloyd have come since that first rap battle between John Lennon and Bill O’Reilly. The flows, the beats, the lyrics, the costumes… it’s all so good now. Long gone are the awkward days of the early seasons, and the burnout that was evident in season five is truly gone. These guys are having fun again, and I look forward to the rest of this season in 2020.

Best Battle: So far this season has almost been nothing but smashes, but perhaps their greatest accomplishment is “The Joker vs Pennywise,” which manages to play off the relevancy of both killer clowns while giving us some of Peter and Lloyd’s best performances to date, with Peter in particular doing a phenomenal Mark Hamill impression. The battle is also a bit longer than usual, with each rapper getting three verses, allowing them to cram in numerous references. Joker is definitely the wittier and funnier rapper, but Pennywise has a much better flow, which honestly plays to their actor’s strengths. This is my personal favorite battle of the series.

“Jacques Cousteau vs Steve Irwin” is honestly tied, as it also plays off the duo’s strengths and is very fun with an energetic, badass beat.

Worst Battle: A lot of people point to “Vlad the Impaler vs Count Dracula” for its slow pace and goofier take on Dracula, or “Ronald Mcdonald vs The Burger King” for being recycled from their “Flash in the Pan Hip Hop Conflicts of Nowadays” side series with very little in the way of improved lyrics. On both counts I disagree; I think both are good battles, with the latter being one of my favorites due to how goofy it is. So far, though, the battle that was the biggest disappointment was “Mother Teresa vs Sigmund Freud.” This was one a long time coming, but the payoff isn’t quite worth it. Most of the jokes on Freud’s side are incredibly repetitive, and in general his flow is weak compared to Teresa, who just absolutely kills it with creative and witty deliveries. It leads to this weird feeling of Freud being a season one character in terms of quality, which is a real shame. 

Best Character: 

Lloyd: Lloyd just oozes the charisma of Steve Irwin and Robin Williams when he plays them, easily making them the standout performances of this half of season six.

Peter: Peter brings his A-game as Joker, as mentioned above, but he also manages to be incredibly chilling and awesome as J. Robert Oppenheimer, easily outdoing Thanos in their rap battle. Oh snap!

Guest: This is a season of ties, it looks like, cuz Jackie Tohn as Joan Rivers and Gary Anthony Williams as Bill Cosby really change the tone of the comedian royale for the better. Cosby barely gets any lines, mind you, and spends most of the battle drugged and getting abused by Tohn’s Joan Rivers, but there’s just something hilarious about the ERB guys getting Uncle Ruckus to play a drugged-out Cosby. As for Rivers, she’s just perfect.

Worst Character: Visually, Thanos is not the best, and lyrically, Freud isn’t great, but I don’t think either of them deserves to be called ‘the worst.’ So far, this season has managed to avoid any overt stinkers.

And so we come to a close. Ten years of rap battles, ten years of growing and improvement, ten years of a rollercoaster ride of quality… it really is amazing that Peter and Lloyd have consistently managed to come back to this series and find new ways to breathe life into it. Considering their more recent videos, I can only hope they keep up this level of quality into the next decade. Here’s to another ten years of ERB!

…

Oh, alright, I’ll talk about the bonus battles. So far, there have been two: “Deadpool vs Boba Fett” came out between seasons four and five, and “Elon Musk vs Mark Zuckerberg” came out a few months before season six kicked off to show us all that, yes, the boys were back, and they weren’t messing around. Both battles are pretty indicative of the time period they were made; “Deadpool vs Boba Fett” has that extremely high level of quality in terms of writing and characterization that season four did, and “Elon Musk vs Mark Zuckerberg” has the sort of rejuvenated, fresh feeling the season six battles have. I will say I much prefer the former than the latter, as the latter does at least somewhat come off as an attempt to recapture the glory of “Steve Jobs vs Bill Gates,” only with two far less charismatic inventors, but it’s still pretty fun and clever in its own right. “Deadpool vs Boba Fett” is, without a doubt, one of their best battles ever, and does justice to two of the most beloved ensemble darkhorses in all of media. I can only hope any bonus battles in the future are up to these two in terms of quality.

Now with all that said… here’s to another decade of ERB! May they only continue to grow and improve in the 2020s!

#Michael in the Mainstream #Review #web show review #epic rap battles of history #ERB #rap #nice peter #epiclloyd #history #rap battles #comedy #Youtube

[quanticlub]

Long Lore Rant

... Needs to be reformatted into something pretty rip

Background:

Aight so as per the great and infallible wikipedia, Taoist cosmology states that everything started with wújí and then created yǒu jí. The former means limitless and comes from the words "nothingness" and "reaching the end" ... so nothingness at the end aka no boundaries

the latter was the limited. it's only briefly mentioned as its conception brought on a polarity to the universe - yin and yang

taiji itself is the boundary embodied by you-ji with respect to the infinite wuji and represents the Absolute

The split into yin and yang has a the connotations listed above in the pic ((except... for tikki and plagg the feminine vs masculine seem to be switched cuz from the description, tikki is more closely associated with yang)). Yang is represented by one long dash –– while yin is two small broken ones - - . Now, in the middle column where there are category names for what yin and yang represent the wu xing category (elements, second from the bottom) has earth listed as neither. It also doesn't include air, which the wu xing doesnt include in general but is included by almost every other major culture when classifying the elements.

Kwami Origins: Null

In the beginning there was a great big nothingness and then came a tiny blip of umm... everythingness? making the Absolute. This gave the nothingness and everythingness a consciousness. (wow lots of -ness words here). The nothingness part of the absolute became Null. The everythingness got no name cuz it quickly split off into the rest of creation.

Null's concept art is a three-eyed little creature with two kwami tendrils.  I propose Null as the glowing white kwami they originally made but with all black eyes and The Other One as the all black kwami but with glowing white eyes. The prior emptiness/nothingness was energy while the delineation/everythingnes was matter(?). when they created the Absolute, parts of themselves mixed i na typical yin-yang fashion, thus the eyes being like those of the others. This gave them power over the nature of the other sorta???? hard to explain

 For Null, he had power over mass, time, and space - matter is anything that has mass and takes up space at a given moment. The Other One (imma call them Higgs bc of the Higgs boson particle but it wouldnt be the real name) had power over tendencies of energy*. So. energy can be used up to build something (creative force - in human metabolism it's an anabolic reaction), released to tear something apart (destructive force - in human metabolism it's a catabolic reaction). bBt it can also be stored/dissipate with no specific purpose, instead being available for all sorts of possible things later (chaotic force?)

idea is that Higgs, upon consciousness, sacrificed themselves to give rise to existence. The Big Bang. they justs sorta fucked off to become a bunch of cool rocks/stardust floating in space and initiated the course of time (which could theoretically be split into different timelines? idk time travel is weird and this is superfluous to my current ramble)

the three aspects of Null that Higgs had gained powers from became concepts that would gain sentience of their own. The yin and yang markings are, technically, three lines. not two. cuz yin is split ( –– vs - - ).

* = this bit's a little less science-y except for keeping with the triad thing bc neutron, electron, and proton

Three, Not Two: Tikki, Plagg, & ...Hexx?

I imagine Null took up the developing concepts and nurtured them sorta. like they were incubating under Null's protection. Tikki emerged out of Null's sphere first; she had the most power from Higgs though all three were pretty closely matched. she was the creative force. 

Plagg came out of Null's sphere last. He was the destructive force. Sorta. It was actually coser to... decay?  Plagg is really more of a kwami of decay than destruction. He doesnt just obliterate things, he accelerates their decomposition. when his powers act on metal, for instance, it rusts. thats not destruction it's just the wear-and-tear expected to happen over time. Destruction as a concept opposite to that of Creation and Order involves more entropy and plagg really isnt as chaotic as would be expected. While he represents destruction in the sense that the thing is ceasing to function as a unit, the chaos would fall more under hexx.

The third force, the one that embodied possibility, was too erratic. they got out of Null's care first but remained in the sphere for a while longer. they didn't get out til after Tikki. I'm thinking maybe  emerged from Null's domain just a few seconds before Plagg (time is still wonky at this point). while Tikki is yang ( –– ), Plagg and #3, henceforth referred to as Hexx, are both yin ( - - ). Plagg is slightly weaker cuz he was "overcooked" and Hexx was "undercooked". Tikki came out just right like a yummy batch of cookies ;)

While Plagg is the biggest cuz he stayed with Null for so long, Hexx is the smallest. Even more so than Tikki but only by a little. I was thinking of him looking like a mix of Tikki and Plagg. More cat-like but with red accents and maybe blue eyes instead of green.

That’s the gist of it with a quick reminder note that time still affects kwamis differently like they mentioned in Sandboy or whatever. so they might be around ten billion years old be the time earth shows up but theyve been very immature. like little kids. and unlike kids that go to school to learn how things work, they were given immense amounts of power and 0 instruction so they have to figure out what they can do, what their identity is, and what purpose they want to have in existence

Tikki has a very do-good attitude and wants to help (even if shes proven sometimes she doesnt give the best advice) and be a Good Kwami. But Plagg isn't a bad kwami. The opposite of love isn't hate after all; it's apathy. Plagg just doesnt really care and will follow Tikki around bc he enjoys her company and his primary concern is himself. Oblivio was a good example of this cuz he's like "no fuck you whats in it for me" but still gets affected by tikki's words and comes back to do as she says eventually.

Hexx would be the "bad apple" though kwamis dont really have moralities cuz those were human constructs and are incredibly subjective. He wouldnt be hatred in the analogy with love, but rather fire-y emotions that are still more negative. quick anger and stuff. usually happy go-lucky. temperamental goes with the nature of being THE force of chaos. while he doesnt wanna help necessarily, he still wants to DO. he's the one that instigates mischief and wants to fuck around for the fun of it.

Making the Miraculous

So from the dinosaur ordeal we know the kwamis DID have effects on earth, but they couldnt consistently intervene - at least not in a controlled fashion. and they couldnt really communicate with humans cuz different field of existence. but their presence became known even if the humans didnt know what they were exactly

the set from the miracle box was made my a mage in china for the purpose of conquests. Hexx’s mischief and meddling probably gave the humans access to the magic/knowledge/whatever they’d need for making the Miraculous. The pitch to get these baby gods to agree was that tikki would have greater control of her powers and could communicate and help! tikki was down. It seemed like a Good Thing and she wanted to do good. Plagg was meh but might as well cuz tikki insisted. hexx wasn't convinced. they werent warned theyd be confined to the miraculous and essentially trapped. plaggs agreement was more out of ignorance of this fact. he figured he could make tikki happy but still fuck off to do what he wanted. never imagined that he'd be subject to another's will. 

tikki was happy regardless bc very young (developmentally) and naive and honestly believing that the human knew best and it's what was best for both the kwamis and humanity. she had so much power her jewel had to be split into two - thus, earrings. all other kwamis inhabit a singular miraculous.

when hexx was being trapped it was against his will, unlike plagg and the others. he fought it. he still got trapped but the miraculous wasnt like the others. the nature was different... it was corrupted. Cue: cursed miraculous(es) ((still not sure of the plural)). If he has to suffer then by Null so do the humans who did this. Thus the name Hexx. Opened the option for kwamis to try to fight it or go for it. Werewolves perhaps stem from a group of cursed canid kwamis? The Miracle Box is basically the kwamis who were aight with the idea but other cursed kwamis exist. 

The nature of a miraculous depends on the "recipe" used to make the jewels and the kwami's receptiveness to being basically enslaved. The Miracle Box miraculous were all made by the same mage mentioned earlier so they had the same recipe so to speak. All the kwamis in the miracle box fall under yin or yang. Including the elements. So the Zodiac and Wu Xing kwamis are all in either tikki or plagg's domains. Except for one. I propose trixx as the exception, even if they dont fit the traits of earth. i was thinking for the other supporting kwami to hexx there could be one that also refused to join the mage... the kwami representing air (wu xing is basically the only philosophy without air as an element in some shape or form). Possible name: Jinxx, a crow. The fox/crow/cat are all typical tricksters in myths. 

The way the kwamis’ powers can be manipulated varies and the cursed kwamis offer the least control to their wielders - and the greatest side effects. I imagine jinxx just fucks off to follow hexx's miraculous, wherever it may be. Hexx is closer to the original curse on pv chat noir... the curse is possibly activated and summoned by the use of tikki or plagg's powers outside their miraculous? And dormant after death of wielder or kiss from LB or something. So that would mean Plagg activated him in style queen and then helping him get a better location/target with the smaller cataclysm in i think catalyst (when he's like "ive been practicing!).

Together, plagg and tikki have that OP wish granting ability but they cant truly summon Null to the this dimension without Hexx, who adamantly refuses. it's not like Hexx's miraculous can be stolen cuz it's cursed onto the subject. As a summary of combined powers... Tikki + Plagg = wish granting? ... Hexx + Tikki = good luck ... Hexx + Plagg = bad luck ... cuz Hexx is about possibility and consequences. So creation-related effects tend to manifest as what humans deem to be good while destruction-related ones are seen as bad.

Hexx Making an Appearance

For the current Mari/Adri plot I thought of Hexx cursing Felix or sth and bringing him onto the hero scene. Comes with the benefit of jealous CN. Maybe a scene where cat-ish Felix tells Chat Noir that he’s not interested in LB, only Mari and they have some sorta agreement to respect that (would work best in the half brother’s thing if Adri found out). All hell would break loose if/when LBs identity came out.

 Also I like the idea of Hexx having been locked in Pandora's jar with other angry ~cursed~ miraculous and the others immediately fucked off and scattered their miraculous but Hexx remained. possibility and consequence does not mean bad things. it's the uncertainty of the future that allows for hope, which is what pandora found. the greek tales also have varying connotations on whether finding hope was a blessing or a curse depending on how you looked at it

#ref: ml lore revamp #ref: ml kwami revamp

[arabellaflynn]

I've been getting some interesting reactions when I tell people I'm still talking to the Eccentric. They range from, "Oh, really?" to "You can still run, you know." Currently leading in popularity, mainly among people who encountered him in the show where we met, is "yipe." I asked around, and there doesn't seem to be any community conflict or feud driving the difference of opinion. When someone is widely considered to be weird, there's usually a reason. It's not always a good reason, but it does exist. I think it is just that he is very much himself, and this is not everybody's cup of tea. The Eccentric is, well, eccentric -- he really only has one setting, which is fairly intense, and has cultivated such colossal bunny ears I'm not sure how he manages to pack them into the car with the rest of his gear. When I first met him, I wondered if his English was kind of wonky, as he still has an accent. Later, I concluded it was probably his brain. His wife assures me that it is both. I really shouldn't be surprised. This seems to be the same blind spot I have with friends who are on the spectrum. I tell people that I have a high tolerance for weird, but this phrasing is not strictly accurate; "tolerance" implies that I'm putting up with something I find mildly irksome, when it's really more like the weirdness doesn't register as something to be concerned about in the first place. I know their behavior is unusual, I can specify what's unusual about it, and I can articulate what the more common behavior is. I just keep forgetting that this bothers other people, on an emotional level, because none of it bothers me. When someone veers wildly off-script, I just go, "Huh. That's new. Am I okay with this?" when I think other people take a while to get past, "....the fuck?" and some of them never quite do. Much of it seems to be that, as mentioned, he only has 'off' and 'full-throttle', and this also applies to people. 'Possessive' was suggested by one person, but that's not right; he's not more than ordinarily concerned with what I get up to when he's not around, and his opinion on it is mainly, "Cool, my friends do stuff." He does make the 'yes, I like you'/'no, not really' decision very quickly, though, and if it's 'yes' then the single-minded full-contact friend-making commences! I'm unsure how much of this is cultural and how much of it is him. He does still have a very Middle Eastern sense of proxemics. Americans have a strange obsession with personal space, to the point where we spent much of the 19th century convinced that God told us to take over the entire continent so that we could have more of it, so it's always noticeable when someone has a friend radius of less than the eight statute miles customary here. He is aware that he's weird, and kind of a lot sometimes -- not necessarily enough to keep himself from being weird in the moment, assuming he wants to, but enough that he is mindful of being misinterpreted. When we started talking about dancing, he also started making much mention of his wonderful wife. I was like, yes, your wife does sound wonderful, and I would love to meet her in the course of the actual, literal dancing we are discussing here! I thought it was clear that he wasn't hitting on me, but I can see where other people would be less sure. The Eccentric also wants to be very close to people he likes, physically and otherwise. It's blatant and to a degree that a lot of romantic partners would find unacceptable. I know this because I have run afoul of some of these partners in the past. I was much more concerned with Mrs. Eccentric in the beginning than I was with him. I have learned the hard way that if someone is really, viscerally convinced that you are up to no good with their mate, factual innocence is an ineffective defense. He is surprisingly up-front about his motivations for all this; I got a small novel about what he hopes to get out of his dance partners at one point, which I summed up, apparently to a fair degree of accuracy, as duende. I can't speak for everywhere in the world, but American culture has very little place for that kind of intimate synchronicity outside of romantic relationships. If that's your only context, I can see where the impression of possessiveness comes from. He picks specific people and decides that they are his, with very little input as to how they feel about being adopted. If your concept of mine automatically means not yours, this is probably rather uncomfortable; it would lead you to see implications and constraints where I think he intends none. If you can be mine to a variety of people in a variety of ways without seeing conflicts in it, then what you think of this is largely down to how much you like having him around. I like him a lot. I've been inducted into the dance harem. I'm not entirely sure what I'm doing there, with the various titled bachata competitors and ice dancers and whatnot, but I'll learn eventually. If Mrs. Eccentric is at all bothered by any of this, she deserves an Oscar. Notably, Ye Ballroom Instructor is also acquainted with the Eccentric, albeit not well. He is one of the few people who has just absorbed my commentary on all of this with, "yeah, I can see that." This is probably why I like him, too. from Blogger https://ift.tt/2ymp0fp via IFTTT -------------------- Enjoy my writing? Consider becoming a Patron, subscribing via Kindle, or just toss a little something in my tip jar. Thanks!

#IFTTT #Blogger #Unsolicited Advice

[wakraya]

Hiveswap Review & Thoughts

I am going to try to keep this as Spoiler-Free as possible, but you can’t quite write a review without saying a few things, can you? Make sure you’ve finished Hiveswap if you do not want to get lightly spoilered!

1- Game Length: It took me 4 hours to finish, and even then I was kind of rushing the ending because I had to go to sleep soon and didn’t want to wait until the next day to actually finish the game! I also finished reading up to the end of Act 6 Act 3 in Homestuck in a week, so I’m a fairly speedy reader. I would say someone struggling a bit more with the Puzzles and taking their time to explore more of the world as they go, and specially someone talking while livestreaming this and such would spend a fair bit more going around. It was short-ish, but it was the first Act of 3 more to come, and served as more of an introduction. It’s good when a game leaves you wanting for more, it means it’s done its job and you feel it’s good. No complaints here, just as advertised, and, I am definitely going to go through it more times to catch little things I didn’t get and get alt-dialog.

2- Gameplay: Simple Point-And-Click, but with a few interesting things and a few wonky things. I may talk like Hiveswap is flawless, but while I loved it, there’s some things that could be improved upon. One of these is the scrolling, if you’re at the edge of the screen you’ll have to kind of click a few times to get the screen to move, since Joey will chase the edge and not let the camera properly settle. Still, it’s nothing major., but just a nitpick. Trying to interact with everything is fun and also functional! Sometimes a wrong solution to a puzzle will give you a hint to what you ACTUALLY need to be doing, which means trying everything with everything can be actually beneficial if you’re stuck! The Combat is simple but I like it, you and the monsters take turns to fight each other, doing actions that make it more akin to a puzzle of ‘how to get through here’ than a combat system. I didn’t die at any point, but judging by the previews, it’d seem choosing the wrong moves too many times will result in Joey getting defeated, which is nice to know it’s not all just rigged to let you win. On that vein, though, some of the Puzzles were quite simple, but I’ll let it slide because it’s just the beginning, and there were some more difficult headscratchers. Also, you can hoard quite a few things in the game, I wonder how will items you pick up earlier on come into play in other Acts?

3- Writing: Spot on, very Homestuck-y. The humor is great and there was a bunch of dialog and description text that made me laugh out loud or left me feeling very, very sorry for some character in particular. Lore-wise, we got a little bit of exposition on Troll Culture that I found quite fascinating, as well as some lore from Earth. But most importantly, it made me care about Joey, Jude and Xefros, and it definitely made me want more of the game, so that’s good! For newcomers to Homestuck itself, there’s a lot of references that may go over their head, but they would not be any more confused about it than Homestuck readers getting to Act 5 and being introduced to all that Troll Exposition. Talking about Moirailship, and the weird words Trolls use for some things might take a bit to get used to, but if you like intricate words for stupid things, it’s very much enjoyable.

4- Graphics: The style is absolutely gorgeous, the game’s movement and Joey’s animations are lovely and expressive, the cutscenes made out of stills are lovely as well, and the ones that are actually animated are badass and I love them all. It’s as Cohen said. “We didn’t think the 3D felt like Homestuck. The Concept Art, the Sketches. Those felt like Homestuck.” And so they did. They took the concept art and refined it into beautiful backgrounds to go with the characters. Everything looked great, and every animation was great. The least animated thing I feel was Xefros’ Lusus- Which, given it’s a Sloth and suuuuuper slow? Made me actually crack up. Like. “Oh my god, it’s so slow even his animation has less frames.”

5- Music: Gorgeous, it was very ambiental and set the mood, whether it was exploring a house, whimsical Troll Weirdness, accompanying a Cutscene or a more tense moment, it fit the game. Leimotifs are already strong in this one and I even heard a few references to Homestuck music! So I am very happy with the work James and Toby put on this, and I’m gonna listen the SHIT out of the Soundtrack.

6- Bugs: Here’s where it gets a little bit complicated. The first bug I had was at the Intro Screen, when I realised the resolution was fucked. There was some issue with clicking and getting dialog again instead of the dialog option shutting entirely- But this problem was fixed entirely by reinstalling. I don’t know if it was an issue of the game or the download, but reinstalling fixed that and didn’t bother me at all for the rest of the game. Other than that? The very first transition from one side to the other of Joey’s room freezes the game momentarily for some reason, and takes a little bit longer to load the background when you look outside of Joey’s window. It obviously has to do something with fetching the resources in time, but I have no idea why it’d happen. Other than that, I went through the game with absolutely no issues, until a minor cutscene didn’t want to play. Thankfully it wasn’t anything important, but it still bummed me out a little bit. This, however, seems to be extremely subjective to your PC and Operative System! A friend played through without a single hiccup. Another said their copy was a bit of a mess, and I recommended they uninstall it. A discussion on the page said some got a little white screen on the basement, where I had no issues, others said the intro cutscene froze much like the one that didn’t play for me. Given the disparity, I feel it has something to do with PC specs or something weird with the download, but still I am hoping they will address these very soon when they have enough information about what causes the errors. Ah, the first few days after a release before they patch things up. :^)

Overall, my experience was very positive! I like Hussies’ writing, and Cohen definitely captured his brand of humor. There was sad exposition, there was fun exposition, there was a little bit of character development as well and it’s only Act 1! Also Cohen mentioned he wanted to do a lot of character interactions in Act 2- And given they said your choices affect the game, I am expecting it to be significantly bigger than Act 1, merely based on the fact you’ll spend a loooot of time chatting with other Trolls! If Hiveswap goes the Homestuck route, maybe each Act gets exponentially larger. Wouldn’t that be a thing?

If you’re having biiiig issues with the game, please try re-installing the game! And if that isn’t working, either hope they patch things up quickly, or if you’re able to, try installing it on a different computer with a different OS!

I personally think the 5-year wait was worth it. There were some little misshaps here and there, but it was well polished, looked gorgeous, and was fun to play. At no point did I feel it dragged on, and it left me wanting more out of the game without feeling short or rushed. For people picking it up not knowing about Homestuck or the 5-year wait, they can experience something great without having any expectations, and if they really like the writing, Homestuck is out there to read in its entirety, so I feel it’s a very good entry-level thing for the Fandom as a whole!

Overall, I would give it a 8.5 out of 10. I would’ve given it a 9 if there hadn’t been a few bugs that bothered some of my friends, but everything else was solid, well put together and a lot of fun. I have a lot more thoughts and theories I’ll share on a different post, and I’m not even close to done with this thing, I’ve gotta replay it a few more times and there’s 3 entire Acts AND a sibling game coming at one point so.

Who knows, maybe that 8.5 can get even higher by the time everything is released.

Also I’m putting my money on Act 2 being released somewhere in January, to perpetuate the ‘Hiveswap January’ meme.

#Hiveswap #Hiveswap Spoilers #HS Spoilers #Spoilers #Review #Hiveswap Review #Wakraya

[almaasi]

you have witch powers? i've always been fascinated with "paranormal" stuff, including magic, so i was wondering if u could tell me stuff about it. is magic real? what kind of stuff did ur grandma do? are ghosts and spirits real too? what kinds of spells can witches cast? is it like supernatural? sorry if i'm asking a lot of questions i'm just so fascinated and curious. i didn't even know witches were like, legit until i read ur tags, i just thought that people back then said that so they had 1/2

2/2 a reason to burn a woman they didn’t like. ok now i’m rambling but in short, what can u tell me about witch stuff? i’m just asking cause i’m really curious :)

(about my tags on this)

#whenever phil gets out the tarot cards and pulls something scarily accurate i’m just like…. yes…. good…show us your witch powers…… #(my own experience with tarot? so reassuring. and calming. it’s like asking for a friend’s advice but that friend is your own brain.) #also my great grandmother was a witch by profession and i definitely got some of her magic #i have not yet learned to recognise a feeling when i feel it.. but when stuff happens later i’m like OH THAT WAS MY MYSTERIOUS FEELING #one of our sheep died a week or so ago.. and for two days straight i was outside in the middle of the night staring at the moon #and wondering why i felt death in the air #and the rain made me cry and it felt like release but i didn’t know why #and i immediately started worrying about our sheep but didn’t follow up to see if they were okay #then two days later my mother comes in and tells me one of our sheep died and two days ago had given my mother “the death look” #if you’ve never seen someone or something die… there’s this look they have that’s like a disgraced peacefulness and self-awareness #but basically i knew the sheep was gonna die without any reason for me to think that #and i need to learn to follow up on my instincts because they’re ever-present and i never know when it’s a psychic thing or random anxiety #disclaimer: IS IT ALL BULLSHIT who knows? but science doesn’t know a whole lot about a lot of things and this stuff is natural to me #so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

okay!! i was expecting someone to ask, so here goes. (in case anyone’s wondering, this is a personal post, and no, i’m not making this stuff up.) (feel free to reblog if you want. but it’s so goddamn long aaah)

first off, an opinion: whether or not you believe magic is real in this world is entirely related to whether or not it is real. at least in my books. magic/paramormal stuff can always be observed, but if you don’t believe it’s anything beyond coincidence or skilled trickery, it’s not gonna impact you.

i do believe in ghosts (or djinns, or something else human-like), but in my experience they don’t really do anything except exist in some other realm and occasionally become visible when i’m at my most lucid, at that point between waking and sleeping. most people (myself included) would say it’s just a hallucination. but like…. who’s to say it isn’t real, just in a way we as humans don’t yet understand? y’know?

the most interesting ghost sighting i’ve experienced was when i was fully awake, not hallucinating. i was in a car with my sister, my sister’s friend, and her mother - and we drove over a bridge, and i saw a fritzing semi-translucent black figure walking along the peak. i looked back and it was gone. it wasn’t scary, it was just really cool. i saw that with my own two eyes, i have zero doubt i saw it, and for that moment, it was there.

other times i’ve seen things pass through walls, or felt presences in the room that vanish when i look. i get deja vu maybe once a week. the ability comes and goes in phases, switched on and off whenever i tell someone about it. it’s like that part of my brain gets really shy and goes into hiding when it’s mentioned.

sometimes it can be pretty powerful. there’ve been moments when a deja vu begins, i remember it from a dream, fast-forward through the memory to remember what happens, and i get ahead of present time, so i predict what’s in front of me by about one to three seconds. usually it’s snippets of conversation, or my hands moving to complete an action, or words i’m typing. (let me tell you, it’s so freaking bizarre when you’re consciously typing, thinking about what you’re typing, and simultaneously remembering typing it before, and knowing what you’re about to type despite not yet knowing. and then seeing it happen. i think a lot of people reading this would be like “what?” but i know there’s someone out there who knows exactly what i mean)

for a long time in my teenage years i told people i’d see coloured figures, like auras without physical people, just hanging around out there in the world, but due to health issues a lot of my teenage memories are gone, and the only memory i have of that stuff is the recollection of me telling people about it, and remembering it while telling people. it’s really weird. i sometimes think maybe i made that up?? but i don’t understand why i’d do that when i do actually see other things sometimes.

once, my family visited this old historic building, and i remember seeing a woman in a maid’s outfit duck through a doorway. but she wasn’t actually there. so. idk.

my great-grandmother (or great-great grandmother?) on my mother’s side used to sell love spells to the people in her Indian village. my mother told me about it when i was little. my [great] great grandmother would write a spell on parchment, and the client had to go home and burn it in their fire. and she would curse people, in exchange for payment. that’s all i know about that. but my grandmother (also on my mother’s side) used to have some kind of power, i never got to ask about it while she was still alive. (she was an awesome woman. one of the first women in her country and generation to go to university.)

personally, having been raised as a muslim, i always felt really disconnected from the culture and practices of the religion, even though i believe in the supernatural aspects of it right down to my core. that’s despite my ultimate acknowledgement of facts being deeply rooted in hard science. recently (like, in the past few months) i’ve started to rediscover my faith - directly following on from a quiet interest in the pinterest & instagram aesthetics of paganism and new age magic, which as a concept i was never really sure about. i just really liked how it looked. basically, it clicked in my brain that islamic prayers could, in essence, just be spells. you gotta take everything with a grain of salt. they might not work. but that’s the beauty of it.

a few weeks ago i stumbled across a prayer on tumblr, and read its intended purpose: “Allah will grant whoever recites this seven times in the morning or evening whatever he desires from this world or the next”.

and… i started to think, maybe the purpose is not to actually do that. nothing ought to be a get-out-of-jail-free/do-this-and-your-life-is-made type thing. maybe the purpose is to make you believe nothing can go wrong. and that every bad thing that happens–? it happens so that you can learn from it. and eventually, after many things change, you realise what you desire was not the thing you thought you desired. (idk how to explain that. an example from my life: i really wanted to be a veterinarian growing up. then i got sick, dropped out of school. and now i’m a writer. i want to be a writer more than i ever wanted to be a vet. i had to get sick and my life had to fall apart before i could discover that. writing was never something i’d have considered before.)

my point is, if you believe everything that happens to you will ultimately be a good thing, bad things don’t hurt so much.

and if you take something as a sign, it’s a sign. it’s just your own brain taking hints from the world around you and using them to conjure up a decision. if you wanna believe it’s magic, it is.

personally i like protection prayers/spells and just…generally positive ones. i say prayers for sick friends, people who i see on my tumblr dash who are having a bad time, and if i see or hear about disasters or worldwide events. i’m not expecting it to have a visible impact, but like.. what’s the harm? at the very least it makes me feel like i did something if i don’t have money to give, or i can’t be there with a friend, or the world is falling apart and i’m helpless. praying or saying a spell is just hoping, really, really hard. if some greater being is out there, listening? cool. (but what if god doesn’t wanna do anything? maybe it’s like my cupcake theory. god puts the ingredients in a baking tray, shoves it in the oven, forgets about it. the universe rises as a cupcake. god made it. but the universe is doing its own damn thing.)

regarding tarot cards: again, it’s self-reflection. you can believe answers come from outside influences, but it’s easily just as much about interpreting generic advice and making it mean something to you. but personally i’ve drawn random cards, and known that no other card in the deck would’ve been as relevant at that moment. i’ve used tarot cards to determine the endings for my stories, and coincidentally pulled cards that directly represent my title characters.

one time i was thinking about my fic “The Moonlighter and the Magician” and the card i pulled first was The Magician. and i was like gee thanks tarot cards that’s helpful. (but actually? it meant those cards were on the same wavelength as me. think about it. 78 cards, there’s a one in 78 chance i pull that one on my first try.)

apart from my wonky first-ever tarot readings with the Rider-Waite travel-size tarot deck (which belonged to my mother), i’ve never pulled anything that didn’t eventually make sense. i use The Wild Unknown cards now, i relate to them so much more. plus they’re mine, not borrowed or abandoned for years, which probably helps. (buying those cards was the most money i ever spent on anything. i don’t regret it.)

is any of this like the show ‘supernatural’? not really. the closest i can say my experiences have come to the show would be the episode “faith”. just, the whole episode. it doesn’t matter if it’s the real deal, so long as it works. and boy, does it work for me. and a lot of other people.

like i said, all the spirit-like entities i’ve encountered have been perfectly benign. no monsters, except things i’m pretty sure are nightmares.

but on that note, i take a lot of things to help me sleep. if i didn’t, i’d be waking up screaming night and day (i hit whistle register while screaming, once). i see faces in the dark and creatures in my bedroom, even when my eyes are closed and i’m awake. i sleep with a light on, and i prefer to sleep in the day. i cannot even deal with the presences in my room.

for that matter, my room is definitely the most presence-heavy room in the house. now, although it’s obviously just in a drafty area, i feel the cold spots. all. the. time. i’m feeling one right now as i type this. the door and window are both closed. the heater is always on. the draft comes from the same corner of the ceiling my cat stares at when she’s “staring into space”. there’s definitely something there, but it legit doesn’t bother me. it watches me get dressed sometimes, but it’s not weird about it. like i said, benign.

i feel energy everywhere i go. i can’t stay in my family’s open plan living room comfortably for more than a few minutes, because that room is filled with people and pets coming and going all freaking day, and even when it’s empty, it’s so LOUD. there’s vibrations and voices coming out of the walls, because the house absorbs it all. as a generally tired person, that room exhausts me. i can only stay there if i have social energy. (yes, even an empty room.)

i am so, so sensitive to people’s moods and the energy they let out (to the point where i burst out screaming if i see a negative microexpression during a personal conversation). i find phone calls very difficult, not just because of social anxiety, but because i can’t sense energy as easily as i want to, and is natural for me. skype calls aren’t the same as being there in person. a lot of this could also be autism-related, but nearly everything about me is autism-related, because i’m autistic. go figure.

one time, the day i had my first period, i passed out in a maths exam. all the other times in my life, i’ve seen black or maybe red when i passed out, but this time it was a striking cobalt blue. and i heard SO MANY VOICES, i thought the whole classroom was full of people shouting. my P.E. teacher was observing that exam, she carried me out of the room and lay me on the floor outside. i told her about the voices, she looked at me in confusion and said “there were no voices?? the whole room was silent for the exam.” obviously that was a weird day, but given the amount of times i’ve lost conciousness in my life, before and after that day, i know the warm muggy feeling of slipping away, and i guarantee that one was just a little bit not-normal.

my cat Wilson follows me everywhere. if you’ve ever seen a picture of a witch and her familiar, that’s me and Wilson. she leaves the house if i leave, and she’ll walk down the road beside me to make sure i stay safe. she only lets me leave completely if i go in a car, but even then, she tries to come too. i know what she says when she talks. she speaks in words for me. it translates naturally in my head without a thinking process.

there was this one time when i was about 15 my parents took me to an after-hours medical centre because apparently i was ~speaking in tongues~ or whatever. i don’t remember it, i remember ‘waking up’ with a doctor’s flashlight in my eyes, crying, then holding my sister’s hand as we looked at the fish in the fishtank afterwards. i can’t say how legit that is because i just.. don’t remember it.

one time as a kid, i am absolutely sure i was possessed for about 30 seconds. i was walking down the street on a balmy English afternoon, pine needles scattered underfoot, with my elderly grandmother (paternal), my grandfather, and my sister. i must’ve been 6 or 7? and a streak of evil just bolted through me. and i stuck out my foot and my grandmother fell flat on her face. my grandfather tried to help her up, a car driving by pulled up and asked if they needed help, grandfather said no, and got her back to her feet. i can’t remember if i felt remorse. i think i just knew instinctively that it wasn’t me who did it. but like.. i wasn’t just A Nice Kid, okay, i was The Nicest Kid. i just don’t do things like that. ever. especially not to a kind and generous grandmother who i love so very dearly. i never had before, and i never have since. that’s the single most evil thing i’ve ever done in my life and it came out of nowhere. being more aware now, i think it was a djinn (aka a demon in christian beliefs, i think). they’re known for being mischievous. (my grandmother was fine, by the way. this is the first time i’ve told anyone about this.) now i think about it, i remember cobalt blue behind my eyes then, too.

whoops, this is a really long post now. but uh… basically, i’ve just always been open to feeling these things, and believing in what i sense for myself, without subscribing to whether or not the science has been done yet. in fact, i think i’m open to it because i experienced the same stuff when i was young. the energy i feel is very much real to me, completely tangible. i’ve never been able to see auras, but i feel them on some people. i think just being open to feeling something makes it more likely to come to you. i try not to ignore my instincts (because they’re always right. always.) but i find it’s super hard to distinguish between anxiety (which i feel often) and magical ability (which is far less commonly felt). also sometimes the instinct is so faint it doesn’t even become a passing thought, just a blur of something i half-considered. but in hindsight i realise what it ought to have been, had i paid proper attention.

i can comfortably manage to go outside in bare feet, shut my eyes and let the moonlight do its thing. it has an immensely powerful energy, i always feel cleaner inside when i go back in. (my cat Wilson sometimes asks me to go outside with her when there’s a full moon. almost every night, especially on warm nights, but even freezing ones, we can just stand out there for an hour together. watching the moon set is transcendent. far more so than a sunset.)

right now, due to years of bad health, i have to force some natural abilities away (like the nightmares) because they’re too much for me to handle. i think as i recover, over time it’ll be easier for me to accept that stuff back into my life.

oh, one more thing, regarding my health - i have celiac disease, which has kept me essentially bedridden for the last 7+ years - WHICH BY THE WAY, my family spent literally 9 years trying to diagnose. my doctor kept doing an anaemia test, telling me there was nothing wrong with me and sending me back to school. i saw various specialists, herbalists, a naturopath, physiotherapists, cardiologists, had an MRI scan, saw family counsellors, school counsellors, a hypnotist, etc etc - basically consulted every medical professional under the sun when a simple blood test would’ve done it. stupid misogynistic doctor who thinks all teenage girls fake it to get out of school.

but one thing we did do was visit a psychic, who told me i had something called a candida. my dad, a sceptic and nonbeliever, googled it and said it was “some kind of magical thing in the gut”, and was therefore bullshit, so we continued the search for a diagnosis. years later - years - after a change of doctor (who i chose because i got a good vibe from her picture) we find out it’s celiac disease, a disease of the gut. of the hundreds of people we saw, the only ones to even pinpoint the right body part were the psychics. i googled candida just now and guess what? literally celiac disease. this woman diagnosed me with celiac disease by kneeling at my feet, holding my hand, and shutting her eyes for 30 seconds.

for the record, slightly off topic, i know very few men in real life, and this is what the men in my life have been. my doctor, dismissing me as a liar because i was a teenage girl. and my father, dismissing my declining health as “not trying hard enough”, even now, more than a year after i was diagnosed by a doctor. i think this is why i take refuge with male fictional characters. they’re better. i want them to be soft and understanding like the men i’ve never known.

anyway, this is the part of my life’s story i never really pieced together until right now. it’s a lot, more than i expected. i happily call myself a witch. most of my magic goes into my stories, and i think a lot of people who read them feel it, even if they translate it as passion or love or good vibes or something. the amazing comments i get would speak to that. i love the energy i get from comments, because it does come through in typed words, even if it’s much fainter than seeing people face-to-face. some comments just hit me with waves of goodness, even if the words themselves aren’t so powerful. so i really appreciate that stuff. it’s good stuff.

yep. that’s all. i hope this satisfies your curiosity, anon!!!

#welp that's a side of me i don't think i've talked about much... or ever #magic #Islam #witchy things #Phil Lester #post of postiness #about me #Elmie writes things #The Moonlighter and the Magician #tarot #long post #replies #anon #djinns #ghosts #health stuff #celiac disease #psychics #cupcake theory #religion #paranormal experiences #ahh okay this took me like 3 hours and i gotta get to bed #Anonymous

[thesffcorner]

The Wicked + The Divine Vol. 3

The Wicked + The Divine Vol.3 collects issues 12 to 17 of the ongoing series written by Kieron Gillen. This time, Jamie McKelvie is joined by 5 guest artists: Kate Brown, Tula Lotay, Stephanie Hans, Leila del Luca and Brandon Graham. Like the art, the story gets a change in pace as well, as instead of following Laura’s investigation, we follow lots of the different Gods, as well as Beth, Cassandra’s former intern. I think it will be best I go issue by issue, since each one focuses on a different character and has a different artists. So as such we start with issue 12 and Kate Brown. I was not a fan of Brown’s art; it’s a very loose, zine style art, that could work in a different story, but in a glossy story about rock stars and Gods, it really didn’t fit. The colors are muted and washed out, making the inks thin and lacking in impact. All of the characters look too similar, and I was having a hard time distinguishing between them, especially because the hairstyle was the only difference. This especially sucks, because issue 12 deals with what I was asking last time, which was the relationship between Baal and Inanna. Baal has quickly become my absolute favorite character, and Inanna was a close second. I really loved the scene where Baal gives Beth the exclusive interview, and even Brown’s art manages to capture the range of emotions he goes through (though I still feel someone like McKelvie would have nailed that scene). I liked the fight between Baal and Morrigan too, because they are essentially on opposite sides of the same conflict; Morrigan loved Baphomet who killed Inanna. Issue 13 focuses on Tara, and I enjoyed it a lot. The art is actually gorgeous; Tula Lotay is an artist to look out for. Her colors and pencils work perfectly together; the whole issue has a very melancholic feel, which works really well, as it’s told through Tara’s suicide letter. The way she draws Tara and Baal is beautiful, and it works perfectly with the story of Tara constantly being uncomfortable in her own skin because all anyone ever focuses on is how beautiful she is. We find out a bit more about Anake’s plans too, and I am a bit sad this is the only time we see Tara in the series (at least so far). Issue 14 was my favorite, both in terms of plot and the art, as Jamie McKelvie is back. I don’t know why McKelvie was absent this issue, and if the different artists were a deliberate choice, but since this issue has a lot of reused art from previous volumes, I imagine he had other engagements. It also focuses on Wooden, who is rather simple to draw since he has a Daft Punk get up and no face. Surprisingly, Wooden was a character I liked reading about; he is definitely a character you love to hate; he’s a coward, a sadist, a sexist and an overall messed up person. Being in his mind was an exercise in some pretty dark trains of thought. He has a twisted obsession with Cassandra, which is made all the more creepy when we find out what happens behind closed doors with his Valkyrie; made more extreme by the fact that this is the most nudity and sex we have seen in the series so far. This issue gives us a lot more insight into what is happening with Anake, including who killed the judge, and why Wooden is working for her. If all the issues in this volume were like this, it would be a 5 star read. Issue 15 is illustrated by Stephanie Hans, who is an excellent artist, especially for cover art, but her work just didn’t wow me here. I really love her style; it’s very much digital painting rather than comics, and her use of bold color and overexposed lighting makes some of the panels downright gorgeous, especially in combination with this issue focusing a lot on Ameratsu’s reminiscing of her past. However, I feel like maybe Hans was rushed because the present day panels were more than a little wonky, with weird posing and off model characters. The actual story was interesting, but nothing I was too thrilled by; it follows up on Cassandra and Hazel’s fight from volume 1, about Hazel ‘cosplaying a Japanese deity’. It’s an interesting discussion on appropriation, culture and what we derive meaning from, but I feel like it was ill placed, especially after the bombshell of an issue we had with Wooden. The only real revelation we get is that most, if not all the people who got chosen for the Pantheon were fans before they became Gods, which I’m sure will be relevant in the future. Issue 16 focuses on the Morrigan and Baphomet and it’s illustrated by Leila del Luca. Again, I don’t have a problem with del Luca’s art per say, but it’s just really jarring compared to what I’m used to expect from this series, and even following Hans’ art from the previous issue. She has a simple style; scratchy inks and pencils and muted, flat colors, which worked in the scenes where we are following the humans, but could have benefited from a lot more atmosphere and grandeur when we move into the Gods. I do like the way she draws the Morrigan and Baphomet; not only does she make them very handsome, she gives them a vulnerable feel which works well with their youth, and the gothic love story we get. Like I said, we find out how Morrigan and Baphomet became Gods, and that Morrigan was in fact the one who created Baphomet, which is why both she and Baal think that Baphomet is her responsibility and think he’s a false God. There are some hints that the Pantheon is finally realizing what is happening, but mostly the focus is on the characters which I appreciated. The last issue, issue 17 happens to also be the worst one. I won’t mince words; the art is plain ugly. It’s loose, very stylized, none of the characters look like they have anything to do with the series so far and the colors are barely worth mentioning. If this hadn’t been an issue that’s a part of a series I enjoy, I would have never picked this up. The art was so bad it actually made me not pay attention to the story, to the point I had to read the issue twice. The story too, is not great. It focuses on Sakhmet, who is the one of the Pantheon, who is my least favorite character, and not a particularly interesting presence, seeing as she is a hedonist through and through. I liked the implication the Morrigan makes, when she tells Sakhmet she is likewise imprisoned, but just can’t see the bars of her cage. The end part of the issue is set up for what happens next; it’s also illustrated by McKelvie, which is nice, but really it’s just a cliffhanger. I won’t lie and say they didn’t sell me on reading more of the series; I really want to know what happens next. Lastly, I want to comment on the Video Games section; they are 1 page comics illustrated by McKelvie, that show a bit of personality from Inanna, Tara, Amaterasu/Brunhilde and the Morrigan. They were fine; I liked the one about Inanna the best. Overall, storywise, the best volume. If the art hadn’t been so inconsistent and all over the place I would give it 5 stars; as is it’s still an important escalation for the series, but not entirely flawless.

goodreads

#the wicked + the divine #the wicked + the divine review #comic review #moni talks

[featheredbeardog]

World Building stuff.

CoCC is a weird fantasy/urban realism story, full of both mundane and fantasy critters where werewolves are often treated as either annoying stray dogs or cryptids that need to be found. The Mundane Realm is where the urban is, while the Fantasy Realm is where the weird shit happens. The technology level is roughly late 90′s/early 2000′s. Cellphones are a thing, but are probably tiny bricks or even flip-cover phones. Laptops exist, landlines are still used, and payphones still dot the world. The weird wonky fantasy world is just a bit more timeless with weirder technology, some more advanced than others. Some technology is primitive, while others are Atlantis-leveled (watch Altantis: the lost empire if you’re confused). No vehicles in the usual sense, or lawnmowers, or ipads or tablets, but definitely weird technology and magic co-existing.

Moonscale Prophecy is a six-book series set solely in a timeless fantasy setting, with villages and castles and fortresses and weird animal gods and celestial entities. Giant beasts that can be tamed and bonded with, talking animals, diverse sapient humanoid races, and a world domination conquest! The difference between animals and beasts vary. Animals are often just simple-minded creatures, while beasts are sapient to even having their own cultures and traditions. Technology is... magical but kind of primitive.

Whispering Timberwood is weird and massive, the world of Haven filled with anthropomorphic animals one typically finds on FA (though with less books and human junk and stuff), Vildmark having a bunch of wild beasts that look nothing like modern critters, The Gray Zone being the source of every silent film’s nightmares, and the titular location just being a weird dreamworld. Vildmark is technicolored in environment a giant wild ‘after man’ kind of world, Haven has some occasional odd colors but is mostly natural in color for a giant city that looks like it was built by humans, Gray Zone is... grayscale and unsettling, and Whispering Timberwood is black and white but defies all logic.

Title Pending/Untitled/The Movement/Recovery is an alternate future/scifi/recovering humanity story. Same basic world we live in, but a catastrophic event happened on 2000, which lead to something happened which resulted in a near mass extinction. It was originally technology getting confused about the resetting clock and somehow causing a massive global power-outage that lasted for like, twenty years or something, but something else happened that caused known countries to become divided (literally), so it’s kind of like a post-apocalyptic story but somehow enough people survived the world’s changes to make a decent recovery. There was some genetic alternation experiment going on which was disrupted by supposed alien sightings, which resulted in several subjects escaping, two of these subjects becoming the future founders of a large territory that would grow into Metropolis, a highly advanced city that looks like something out of a futuristic scifi movie with a huge budget. Next to Metropolis is Camelot, a territory just as large as Metropolis but is seemingly stuck in some kind of medieval bubble, guarded by a large lake with only access being a heavily guarded bridge. However, like Metropolis, the ideals and technology in Camelot adjusted to keep up with the times Metropolis was founded by two stragglers, Alhreiks Temple and Aquilina Altaira, both young teenagers who had just escaped from a laboratory. Using their new found abilities, they worked together to turn a seemingly abandoned wasteland into a thriving community, and later into Metropolis. Unfortunately a scuffle occurred, and Camelot’s ruler King Arthur III arrived to break up the conflict. The king decided to pick the future ruler of Metropolis, and after some measuring, gave control of Metropolis to the Temple clan, leaving the Altaira clan and their supporters furious. The Altaira Clan and most of their supporters disappeared the next day, nowhere to be found, leaving Metropolis to suffer from a crippled economy since Aquilina was the one who started the trading business that got Metropolis where it was.

The Pale Lady started as a short story written for my Creative Writing class, about a fourteen year old teenager named Hunter who seeks out her dad Arcadius/Orion after her mom Artemis is supposedly killed in an unknown occurrence. The biggest issue is she hasn’t seen her dad in a decade, and her dad isn’t exactly thrilled to take care of his daughter, who he supposedly used to have a strong bond with. Things get weird when a stranger trespasses and Arcadius repetitively chases it away, and when Arcadius’s best friend Angel shows up to visit, she tells Hunter all these different stories about mythical creatures, from the crafty fox that stole the sun to the silver-eyed deer that restored the drying river, the story of the Pale Lady and even sang the song of the Scarred Bear. She had just started telling the story about the mythical Dream Walker tribe, but didn’t get to cause Arcadius is kind of skeptical. Hunter ends up running off into the woods and gets attacked by a huge black grizzly bear covered with scars, leaving her with a nasty scratch on her chest and arm, but she’s just barely saved by a white bear, and brought back to the cabin by Arcadius, who treats the wound and heads back out to find the beast to ‘take care of it’. He ends up shooting the wrong beast and is turned into a bear as punishment.

“Oh great not another Brother Bear/Brave thing.”

*shrugs* Yeah, Arcadius is turned into a bear for some reason, his body is rapidly dying of old age now, and Hunter is after him under false assumptions.

So the world that The Pale Lady is kind of modern with a hidden touch of fairy tale mixed in. Things seem normal at first, but then weird shit happens, like a skinny pale lady who’s story has been told for hundreds of years, a huge black grizzly bear appears in an area where supposedly no bears have been sighted in for years, and bear!Arcadius is very rapidly dying of old age, like he could literally watch his fur turn white slowly and his body slowly deteriorating by the hour. The world is basic. Somewhere up in the northern cascade area by Monroe in Washington, but the base mythology in the story was heavily inspired by me flipping the middle finger to some awful movies that inspired me to want to try and make something just a little bit better, but also because why not. Most of the myths and tales in this story are inspired by my various visits to Blake Island as well as one assignment we had to do in ninth grade about Native American mythology under the guise of reading Touching Spirit Bear, where at one point we had to create our own ‘totem pole’ with animal spirits we associated with ourselves. Those two things are the reason why I enjoy Native American mythologies so much, especially since there are so many variants of one story. The Pale Lady myth and all associated beings and critters were inspired by the various stories I read up on, sometimes enough inspiration where people get inspired to look it up and find the original source of inspiration for themselves. The Pale Lady was a powerful shapeshifting entity who forced Arcadius to wear one of the skins she had been wearing as a punishment for his rash action. The only other mythical beast to appear in the story is the Scarred Bear, a massive beast covered with scars and back marred with spears and arrows who seems unusually hellbent on hunting... well... Hunter. The Ash Raven, a being bent on destruction and death, ALMOST made an appearance in Part 2 of the Pale Lady short story, but was cut from the story to save on word count. The Ash Raven was basically the grim reaper of this fictional mythology and was following Hunter because her wound was infected and slowly killing her. ...I think that covers the Pale Lady for worldbuilding June.

#worldbuilding month

[fangirlingabout]

You Have My Attention, Disney

Isn’t it nice to be excited for a reboot? Or, at the very least, cautiously optimistic? 

Granted, I more than understand the hesitation. I don’t think reboots have ever had a great reputation, and they can take away resources from potential, original properties making their debut (especially in today’s sequel-driven, nostalgia-loving, cinematic-universe-mass-producing market). Which is why the phrase “reboot potential” sounds like execu-speak that leaves you feeling ... kind of dirty.

But, if you know me, you know I love another show that was just a reboot made to sell toys because, ultimately, the new team of creatives put in so much thought, love, and creativity into that it became its own thing.

Clearly I’m talking about Voltron: Legendary Defenders.

Oh, alright, and Pony (if you’re ever not sure, just assume I’m talking about Pony again; you’ll be right 90% of the time). And aside from the fans I’m told the franchise had originally, no one was expecting it to be a good show-- that’s a case where the reboot surpassed its predecessors and in a huge way.

And, hell, I wouldn’t be doing my job right if I didn’t reference how well the Star Wars franchise is doing again, even after the infamously abysmal prequels! 

Pretty much the entirety of 80s and 90s culture either has or will get some kind of love. Hey! Arnold’s creator Craig Bartlett is finally getting to make The Jungle Movie, Samurai Jack’s getting a 4th season on Adult Swim, Power Rangers are back on the big screen next year, and just about every other property you can think of has something. And if not, they’re probably just saving them for the NickToons movie (which is also a thing that’s happening).

Meanwhile, Millennials just aren’t nostalgically profitable yet, I guess. Seems like all of our properties either get reboots that aren’t marketed towards us at all:

get continuations that get screwed over by the network

(If you’re wondering, that’s official artwork by co-creator Bryan Konietzko; I just felt the need to use it because wow dat’s gay)

or don’t get reboots period, even when the creators express direct interest in making a return.

Or, you know, made a deal with someone and found a way to never leave to begin with.

*Pokemon’s started in the mid-90s, but if you grew up in 2000s, you’d count it, too, it was huge for us.

My point being that while reboots and revivals have troubling downsides, take it from a Millennial whose starved for them: getting a good reboot can still be a thing to be celebrated.

Especially when you’ve got one that looks this intriguing.

Back to DuckTales

So, the voice cast looks like they’re kicking ass. It’s only one element of a show, of course, but whether or not the star-power wows you, the idea that it just might be in good hands may. 

See, Disney XD is sort of a weird channel. If I’m remembering correctly, it’s not included in some number of cable packages, but Disney Channel (prime) is---meaning, this should be where shows go to die.

It’s also technically Disney’s animation channel. Which says a lot about where Disney is now. (If you want some real insight into Disney’s television history, Saberspark made a video about it---“Why does the one of the greatest animations studios of all time struggle to provide animated content for television? It doesn’t make any sense!”)

You 90s kids will remember the Disney Afternoons on the main channel---the program block DuckTales originally thrived in. A lot’s changed since then (the video goes into how and why), and the Disney channels DuckTales is returning to greatly needs its help.

Wander Over Yonder, for all the love it got, suffered the consequences of airing on an off-shoot of the Disney Channel instead of the real deal. Not every show that ends up there is doomed, but for instance, Gravity Falls made the switch to XD early in its lifespan, and OH MY GOD WAS IT JERKED AROUND IN TERMS OF ITS AIRING SCHEDULE. 

We’ve recently seen worse, and it’s not exactly uncommon, but for a show that became that popular that quickly, it’s shocking to remember just how wonky the airing schedule was.

The remaining survivors on Disney XD are Star v.s. the Forces of Evil, Milo Murphy’s Law, Star Wars Rebels, and Penn-Zero Part Time Hero (... well, okay, and Pickle and Peanut and something called Future Worm). What’s working for them now is a mix between action and comedy---which is what we’ve been lacking in Western cartoons for a while now.

Voltron, which just today released its second season on Netflix, is probably the best example of a classic action cartoon. It’s sort of got an overaching narrative, but each episode focuses the action in an episodic, beat-up-the-baddies and/or solve-this-team-and/or-character-issue vain. 

It’s been traditionally true, on the whole, that Western animation holds its roots in comedy---from Walt Disney himself to Disney XD today. But the rise in action cartoons around the late 70s--late 90s (don’t quote me on that) could sometimes elevate the animation towards more adult themes without it being... well, what we call “adult” animation. 

We know for a fact that any show---whether it’s deceptively cutesy or even downright cheesy---can approach darker and/or mature subject matter nowadays, but that’s partially why the fact that we don’t have a lot of Voltrons (which is super 80s in a loving we-know-where-our-roots-are kind of way) is a little disheartening.

Plus, action cartoons can choreograph cool fight sequences or chase scenes and I like when the cartoon box makes the booms.

DuckTales, for as silly an idea as it sounds like it would be on paper, apparently rocked. I’ve gotta full-disclosure this bad-boy and admit I was too young to catch the original properly, but from what I can tell, there’s a reason for that nostalgia. And what I’m getting at with all this is that DuckTales 2017 joining the ranks of the other action comedies on Disney XD is absolutely a step in the right direction. 

Who knows what kinds of adventures and subjects it will actually cover, but continually proving that action shows are marketable (especially on a channel that’s only in 68.8% of American households with T.V.s v.s. the 82.7% the main channel enjoys), only welcomes more good action shows in the future.

So, yeah, not only does DuckTales itself have potential to be something fun and awesome, but it has the potential to build off the successes of shows like Star v.s. and show executives people will respond to this kinda stuff. When you think about what reboots would do some genuine good to bring back, you might not think DuckTales, but who knows?

Here’s hoping all that potential amounts to something.

#ducktales #animation #disney xd #Disney #disney channel #reboots #voltron #v:ld #star v.s. #analysis #wander over yonder #gravity falls #penn zero part time hero #milo murphy's law

[radiosalts]

31 Days of Spiritual Journaling - Day 1

Oh! Wow! I’m way late to the party! But i found out abt this today so I’m gonna start today :p

What do you believe?

Oh geez <_<  so direct and broad right off the bat shjfghjs

But, well. Hm. I guess I subscribe to a few core... beliefs about things, wrapped up under the bundle of Satanism but i mean satan is still at the top there.. as a deity i mean. hm. i guess i’ll say this, these are things i hold true:

there is no separation between the physical body and the soul

the soul is simply the part of you that continues on spiritually, or comes and goes or changes

your body, as mass is in science, is confined energy; energy, soul, ether, whatever you wanna call it, confined into a physical form

Satan is the god of that energy; that just, Universal Tug. of the earth and of humans because of our perception of the universe. 

Satan, to me, is the same energy that moves through my brain is the same energy that holds the sun and earth together is the same energy that keeps the universe stable

we have names for it, scientifically, and such, but it all sits on a sort of canvas background; microwave background, whatever, Thats satanic to me. its warm, in my mind

satan was not created by the christian god

this one might be a little wonky and go some weird places, and i have my relationships with syriac christianity and satans origins and cultural origins, but ultimately i dont believe satan is a fallen angel

surprisingly i actually do believe the christian god exists i just dont believe He’s a creator god or a “true” god above any other; He’s just a popular player in the field

however Satan’s relevance to and history with the Abrahamic religions is far from absent from my own beliefs

IM rambling now fghjsdf

again these are all BIG UPG things! i hope those whose beliefs fall way far off my own feel they can open up a dialogue with me about any of it, and always know i obviously respect your own thoughts on Satan :^)

#spirit journaling #theistic satanism

[darkarm66]

This is (not) a GTA V review

Grand Theft Auto V is one of the best selling games ever. After nearly 4 years and one upgraded port, its success cannot be denied. There's no point reviewing it after all the awards, scores, and money that came its way. Also, I haven't gotten a chance to try GTA Online, which actually looks like a lot of fun to play. I've always hated reviews that spend a lot of words talking about one component and barely glancing at the others. So I won't say whether or not if GTA V is an all-timer based on incomplete play time. That said, and it seems pointless to say this after all the success it has had but......GTA V's campaign is some hot garbage.

The only thing GTA V nailed is the look and size of its game world. This is a really huge game world and as an LA native, I was astonished by the look of some of the streets and buildings that Rockstar got perfect. And when you're actually traveling throughout the game, there are some beautiful sights to behold, which is something I never said about any GTA game previously. Then, when it's time to do something....the whole thing reminds you not only is it a game, it's 15 games at once and they hate each other. The driving is a chore, the combat is lacking, the movement is tedious, the collision detection is wonky, and worst of all, the game design is super restrictive.  This is an open world that is actively trying to punish the player for doing something the creators didn't tell you to do.  Much of the campaign is built around heists, which are actually quite fun when you get to execute them, and like 'real' heists, this requires a lot of planning and staking out. So, get ready for a bunch of fetch quests, pixel hunts, and following! Do you like driving after a a target but staying at a arbitrary distance? Of course you don't! Like trekking across map for what seems like ages to pick up an item that you most likely could've acquired hours ago? Hell naw! Does all this busy work to set up a heist lead to your characters successfully completing a heist that leads to now further action? Absolutely not! Nearly every mission done is always a set up for something more exciting as the payoff. The structure of this would be fine enough if all the preceding quests didn't feel so tedious, but the probably isn't the tedium, it's the restrictiveness. For all the ballyhoo about its open setting, the gameplay is too gated and strict. There's only one way to do anything and the player is never given any real freedom to tackle anything the way they want to. You have to get in that car and go to that dot and god help you if you ever plan to use items you already have. And these punishing time wasters are the only way to unlock anything useful or interesting. Even exploring the city becomes a waste. For all of its beauty as a city, nothing really sparks a player's curiosity to explore it because a beautiful building is just...that. So much scenery and no payoff for the player to discover it (unless you spend money on property to unlock a more pointless sidequest). 

Worst of all is how everything doesn't flow into each other. Beefing up your driving doesn't make driving a car any easier or more fun or unlock something else to test your skills. Buying property doesn't allow for the user to earn more money. And all you can buy with money is interchangeable weapons and cars and clothing that has minimal gameplay effect. There's no true gameplay loops, you don't really enjoy the gameplay as much as you merely put up with it. Nearly every player choice comes with a dose of cynicism about making that choice. What's weird is that all the shooting and carnage you can cause fulfills the reptilian urge to play up to the title's namesake but its more of stress reliever for having to put up with such awful missions earlier. But the game doesn't really care for that because everything is about the story.

Rockstar loves skewering Hollywood, pop culture and modern society but they love stroking their 'we can make better stories than movies and tv!' boner and now it being stroked on gameplay's face. As exciting as it is to complete and mission and hear about your deeds on the radio, its a waste that no plot or story development can come from emergent gameplay. Everything is a carefully curated and guided experience to some truly rank dialogue and delivery. It's always funny to see other skewer the Hollywood process and yet, want to be part of it so bad and can never see their own awfulness. Every third word is a slur or f-bomb, leading to a stupid mission. And for all the talky bits, there's nothing ever actually worth listening to. Barely any exposition but a bunch of cusswords as a 'joke'. For all its attempt at satire, all it does is just attack people for liking things, which isn't satire or parody. It's being a dick. Considering Rockstar is gleeful about be 'inspired' by better movies and shows like Heat, Breaking Bad, and the Wire, it takes from better sources without ever understanding what made those movies and shows great in the first place. But all of those works had at least two characters who didn't sound like uneducated knobs and actually conveyed an emotion that went beyond 'I'll solve everything through crime because I'm crazy!'. So the misogynistic dialogue and outlook isn't a big drag, (but nonetheless troubing), it's just misogynistic and immature coming from people who haven't hit puberty yet. And worst of all, no character seems to exhibit an emotion outside of rage. 

Franklin seems to get the worse of this deal. They had a good chance to show a character who was roped into a lifestyle he hated but his only way out was to....become a better criminal. The pathos and ethos of all the characters are wildly mismatched as its hard to sit through a story about betrayal, loss and bordeom when the game has all three characters do the same repetitive tasks and chores in a game. So, the whole 'three characters in one story' gimmick is a way that padded out an already huge game.

THAT SAID: there are elements that do come together as a whole in certain segments. Actually pulling off a heist and escaping is exhilarating and there are moments of bliss when you're actually exploring a huge city without concerns of way points and map markers.

The biggest problem: how the hell did it earn any of these stellar reviews? None of this gameplay is worth a ten or a perfect score! These components aren't just flawed, they're down right awful and even when combined, this is a really piss poor game. Online may be revolutionary in its own right but that campaign is just a soggy waffle. There was nothing in that story or plot that is close to being passable as something to enjoy. I'm utterly confused on what made the story so great because it wasn't the voice acting, plot, dialogue, jokes, character development. 

Those are my thoughts on GTA V, one of the best-selling games ever and a highly overrated game.