#but cowboy Ted is fun | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ktchie · 6 months

Text

'Save a horse ride a cowboy'

Ted x reader

Fluff and smut

♡additional tags: smut, p in v, creampie, reader hates Halloween, Ted in a cowboy costume, a little daddy kink, She/her pronouns.

♤7.4k words

◇ she hates Halloween but maybe Ted can change that?

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Her dreaded day is fast approaching, the leaves scattered around the ground - brown and dry from the autumn.

A lone pumpkin, yellow and bright under the shying sun, glare at her from a stairwell of a random flat. Its triangle eyes, hollow from any emotion and sympathy seemingly bore into her as if telling her to submit to its command and the inevitable event that will happen 2 days from now.

She averted her eyes quickly, sweat dripped down her nape as she fasten her pace.

She hated Halloween more than any day there is, she would rather choose her family's dysfunctional Christmas dinner with 5 grown adults yelling at eachother and 3 crying children than be caught dead wearing a ridiculous costume that would tarnish her reputation and self image.

Contrary to Roy, she doesnt hate Halloween because of the loud children and their questionable attire that varies from appropriate character from a cartoon show or a superhero franchise and to some wierd and super inappropriate costume that would and will get a atleast 50 concern side eyes (like a nun smoking a tobacco or pope Francis with devil horns and blood pouring out of his mouth)

She hated Halloween because of her coworkers (mainly Rebecca, keeley and Higgins) and their insistent for her to wear a bloody costumes every damn year. Rebecca would email her and would ask her what she will be going as on the Halloween, the first few times it would only be an additional note, a passing normal interest at the month of October but as the day goes by and the 3rd week rolls around Rebecca's previous important email that is relevant to the well being of the club was replaced by a 5 to 10 sentence regarding the importance of Halloween and how essential it is, to both to yourself and to others, to wear a costume and to have fun. The email will come to her 2 times in one day, sometimes even 3 and in worst times even 5 (if Rebecca is really desperate or in a sour mood) which will automatically go into her spam folder.

And it is also widely known on Richmond that Keeley Jones goes a little unhinged whenever the month of October rolls by. Her energy seems to crank up to its highest peak when the autumn breeze finally grace her skin. So naturally, Halloween would be a BIG BIG deal for her. Massive deal. A deal the size of Asia and Europe combined. A deal that she, unfortunately, has to deal with too.

Keeley Jones, despite of having a own company of her to run, was quiet frequent on the Afc Richmond building. Always lurking on the hallway with her bright pink shoes and heart melting grin (in the normal month) however, when its October - Keleey's only destination is her own fucking office. She would burst in guns blazing and teeth bared with no knocking whatsoever and ask her (more like yelled at her) what her costume will be on Halloween, in which she would proceed to answer with 'none' which in return would make Keeley Jones fumed with anger and rant about her being no fun while calling her all kinds of creative names under the sun.

The two women was both amusing and irritating at the same time, she had to admit that their desperation to get her to celebrate the nonsense Holliday of the 31st of October was quiet funny in their own way. What is not funny however is Higgins..

Leslie Higgins, a man as gentle as a falling feather and whose laugh could light up the entire room, can actually turn into a 10feet tall demonic entity whenever he heard 'Halloween' and 'no costume' in one sentence. Maybe it has something to do with him being a father of 5 children, getting so used to dressing them up that it was downright ridiculous and criminal that she wouldn't. He would breath heavily like a bull whenever she say no and he would look at her in the eye and speak to her, though very calmly she could very well see the veins throbbing on his forehead, and would explain how important it is for her to dress up and to celebrate the day because if he wouldn't he would no longer talk to her and would rather die than be near her ever again (dramatic, but something tells her he wasn't lying)

So, in a desperate attempt to make him leave and calm down she had agreed, she told Leslie she's going to dress up and that he doesn't have to worry about anything else.

She's still deciding if she's lying or not.

She opened her front door with a sigh, the exhaustion visible on her tired eyes.

She had gone home more later than everyone else because of the heavy work load that she had let pile up over the last few weeks due to her avoidance to go to work and accidently bump into the monster trio.

She sat down on her couch before throwing her shoes somewhere in the room, groaning in pleasure as her back met the soft cushion.

The comfort of her own home enveloping her suddenly, all the tension gone from her shoulder and all the worrying thoughts of her work vanish from her head.

Then her phone rang,

"Goddammit.." she mumbled with a frown, head thrown back and eyes closed. She let it rung for a few second before reaching for it.

"Hello?" Her voice was groggy, a clear indication she was tired.

"Yellow!" Ted's voice were loud on the other side of the phone, awfully cheery despite it being late in the evening. "You takin' a nap? You sounds a lil' raspy, oh no I didnt wake ya up did i?"

A soft smile made its way on her lips, a smile only Ted could make. "Uh no, I was about to though. I just got back from work"

"You just got back?! Don't office hours end at 5?!"

"Got alot of work that held me back, I don't want to let it keep piling up on my desk like a leaning tower of Pisa"

"Darn, you must have a heck of a day" she hummed in confirmation before closing her eyes again. "Have you even had lunch yet? Ya didnt came in the locker room earlier, thought ya had lunch on your own but now I have a suspicion that you didnt eat at all"

She took her time to answer, Ted's voice bringing her comfort and making her a little drowsy. "Didnt eat lunch, im planning to order a pizza later for dinner"

"You sounds really tired, darlin' and listen, I know I ain't exactly the proper man to tell ya this but pizza ain't good for ya" Ted had replied, a hint of worry on his voice. "Pizza is a-okay once a week, but you been eatin' it nonstop these days, im gettin' a lil worried"

"Im not going to suddenly drop dead because of pizza, that will be a humiliating way to go out" she replied with a sigh, scratching her eye. "But sure whatever, ill have a cup of tea instead"

"I still can't believe y'all drink that sewer water willingly, you better eat something good with that garbage drink"

"I don't know what else to eat beside pizza if I'm being honest and I'm too fucking tired to cook anything else" she groaned and adjust herself on the coach. "I'll just have a big breakfast tomorrow"

"Are you tellin' me that tea is only thing you'll be having tonight?" he had stated, putting a harsh emphasis on the word 'tea' as if it was someone he wanted to kill.

"Am I hearin' you right, hun? Not only did you not eat lunch but you are willingly, without a gun to your pretty little head, going to drink that poop water and nothin' else?"

She laugh lightly and she desperately try to ignore the sick sick part of her brain that is telling her she looks like a giggling love sick school girl talking to her crush. "Yes Ted, im going to drink tea and only tea and head to bed. If you and a perfectly fine beverage have some beef going on, leave me out of it. I can't let you persuade me on hating our national drink and risk the Queen catching a whiff of my traitorous blood and shoot me in the head"

"She would do that?" Ted asked, genuinely afraid.

She chuckled "no, Ted. I'm fucking with you" she settled deep on the cushions, fully laying herself down.

"She'll hire a few men to raid my house and make my death look like a suicide"

"Oh well thats smart, but I prefer if you're alive and well"

She laugh a little "do you need something, Ted? Its quiet late, shouldn't you be watching some trashy reality show right now?"

"Oh it can wait, I can have coach beard summarize the love island for me tomorrow" he cheerily replied and some part of her are envious of him being so happy in such a tiring night. "I called ya because I wanna know what you'll be wearin' on Halloween night"

A glass shattered on the background and the small smile plastered on her lips fell as quickly as she can blink.

"Jesus christ, not you too" she groaned lowly, eyes closing not in exhaustion but in irritation.

"What? Just askin' cause im gosh darn curious! I asked boss what you'll be goin' as but she pulled a funny face and told me to ask you myself!"

She cursed Rebecca in her brain.

"What brought this on anyway?" She wiped her face with her hand with a sighed.

"Oh well our resident genius Nathan Shelby told me that Rebecca host the best Halloween party every year and it got me all kinds of exicted! 'Been awhile since I went to one of those, in college I always go to parties y'know? Even nonsense ones, I mostly went for the booze and the free food cause I was hella broke and I ain't got no money to even feed myself" Ted voice went down a little at the end, as if reminiscing the time where he couldn't even find a single nickle on his wallet. "So it got me thinkin' that I should really go all out this year, don't ya think so? My first party ever since I turned 30, I don't even know If I can still chug an entire jug of beer but we'll see"

"Jesus Ted, you sounds like frat boy" she grimaced lightly but a pleasant image of Ted wearing a backwards cup and a stupid grin on his baby face got her all giggly.

Maybe he'll let her do a body shot on him, lick the fucking salt on his neck and take him home to her flat the next minute.

"Oh I was a frat boy, alright! Got nothin' better to do in college than cause trouble and play football - y'know the one with a brown ball that looks like a wallnut? That football - though i didn't get to play much, coach said i was too giddy and too happy, that instead of making the other team annoyed i cheer them up, its crazy even Beardo said so. Speaking of Beard he was a beast back then! You should've seen him! You'll love him, he's always laughing and always loud, got in all kinds of bad troubles but he set himself straight in the end. I'm very proud of him"

She heard their story before from beard, or willis (he had revealed his name after weeks of nonstop questioning and obnoxious teasing) she had learned how they came to be Ted and Beard, how insufferable they were like two giggling school girls that had known eachother since birth. How beard became beard and how much an asshole (his own words, not hers) he was to Ted back then. He had told her the time he was sleeping on his couch, how his back felt funny and ache weirdly every morning, how he could map out Ted's house with his eyes closed and ears shut because of how much time he spent in there. How Henry felt so much like his kid, how he watch him grew up and how he had been there when the kid lost his first tooth or rode his own bike.

He owes Ted alot, he had told her. Said he would lay his down his life for him with no question ask and no hesitation on his mind. That Ted is kindest man he had ever met, that he see no wrong in someone even when its staring at him right in the face, even when his own friend stole the car he had been saving for since high-school and almost wreck it.

"Im sure you are, Ted" she replied, picking a piece of loose thread on her couch pillow. "I uh, I don't think I'll attend the party"

"YOU WHAT?!"

She quickly pull the phone away from her ear with a grimaced."Yeahhhh, I just don't really like partying"

"THATS A LIE! I KNOW YOU'RE LYIN' YOU KNOW WHAT? IM COMING OVER RIGHT NOW-"

"Ted im really tired-"

"And I'll make you more tired, don't you dare lock your door or I'll break it in I swear to god-"

She laughed lightly "are you actually going to come over? This is crazy Ted, and for what? Because I'm not coming to that stupid party?"

"IT AINT STUPID, YOU WATCH YOUR MOUTH!" He breathed heavily and she hear a clang of keys followed by a loud thump and a whisper of curse. "-shit, bump my darn knee on the table. This is your fault"

"Im not even there, Ted. That's all on you"

"Yeah but you got me all panicky and annoyed, im comin' over there I'm bringing my left over pasta so you could put a decent meal on your tummy"

God she's so stupidly inlove with him. "Is it your famous spaghetti that you have been bragging about these past few weeks? I heard its good, keleey said its to die for"

"Quit being sweet to me, missy. I'm still annoyed and I'm still comin' over and once I get there we're goin' to eat my pasta and talk about your bad decision okay? Like a proper talk, like a therapy session Dr. Sharon and I been doin' these past few weeks"

"Do I have to cry and tell you my childhood problems and let you figure out how it connects to my annoyance on Halloween?"

"See? Youre already pro at this, just sit pretty and wait for me"

She chuckled lightly and stretched, yawning. "Are you really going to come over?" She had asked "Cause I think I'm about to fall asleep now"

"Ya can fall asleep once I get there and after we ate my pasta, m'kay?" Ted replied followed by a front door closing and being locked.

She blink sleepy as she listen to him "alright, ill wait for you"

"Atta girl" he whispered and she tried to ignore the heat on her stomach as he did so.

Ted arrived with a loud bang, her door hitting the wall so hard she thought it would bust a hole in.

"What the hell?!" She lightly yelled before laughing, watching as Ted pant with a Tupperware of spaghetti on his left hand.

"Sorry, god, wait gotta catch my breath first" he hit his chest a couple of times and cough a little. "Okay, sorry, got excited. But I brought my spaghetti!" He raised it with a large grin, dimple and teeth out and oh she wish she could kiss him right there.

"I see that you did" she leaned on the marble bar of her kitchen as she watched him walked over to her, eyes ranking up and down.

God he looks good, how dare he?

"And I see that you're still sleepy" he grinned and put the tupper wear down beside her, looking down to meet her eyes.

"Gonna put you to bed, after our talk m'kay?"

"That a promise?" She blinked at him flirty, a sweet smirk playing on her lips.

"N-not that kind of put to bed" Ted looks panicky, flushing pink on her gaze.

"Bummer" she mumbled with a pout before straightening her posture. "Come help me with plates, let's talk while we eat yeah?"

"Y-yeah"

Okay, maybe her drowsiness is making her a little more bolder, more braver, more yearnful for what she wants. Makes her want to capture his very being on her palm and not let go until the sky fall from above.

She wouldn't flirt with him on a good day, wouldn't even smirk at him if she can help it. He's a recently divorced man who has eyes as sad as whimpering puppy, looking anything and anywhere with a kind of desperation you would only find on someone so despondent and so so alone. He wasn't available on the public market, wasn't meant to be courted when she knows his heart still depict someone's else image, she knows he loves Michelle, miss her everyday, and she knows deep on her bones she could not barge in roses in her mouth and poems on her hand and offer to take him out on a date he would never forget.

"Why is the spaghetti cold?" She asked with a frown as she took a bite, water on her side instead of wine because Ted insisted that she should drink something normal for once.

"Spgahti ish dbest win clmpd" she frowned and watched him hold a finger up before swallowing his food. "Sorry. i said spaghetti is the best when its cold"

"Well its not bad" she shrugged as she ate it. "So how's your day? Heard Roy got mad on Jaime again, per usual of course, but this time he was about to tear his throat out"

Ted nod his head "yes, yes, ill tell ya all 'bout it later but first were gotta talk about the Halloween party"

She groaned loudly, throwing her head back. "Must we do this? Really?"

"Yes, really" he wiped his mouth with a napkin before taking a sip on his water, she could not help but feel like he was about to question her every actions and decision as if she was placed under government surveillance.

"Its really not a big deal, teddy. I just don't like going to parties"

"No, no, I heard ya' goin' to bunch of parties before, specially new-year. You're lyin' to me"

Goddamit.

"Fine" she raised her hand in defense, tired. "Seems like I can't lie my way around here so ill give it to you straight.." she took a deep breath, dreading it. Ted watched her closely, brown eyes boaring into her own and if she wasn't sleepy and wasn't bothered by the topic she would mention how beautiful they are.

"I don't like dressing up"

He slam his fork down. "THATS ABSURD!"

"Wow I didnt expect that big of a reaction at all"

"You tellin' me, someone, someone I gosh darn know! Dont like wearin' costume on Halloween? Thats like- thats like worse than murder!"

Her eyes widen "okay thats a little-"

Ted nod calming down a little "yeah yeah, I know, a little dramatic. It ain't worse than murder at all, I was just-" he poke his heart. "Just lost in the moment AND ITS YOUR FAULT!" he pointed at her

She laughed lightly.

"It wasn't even that bad! I just don't like doing it, its perfectly fine"

"No it ain't! I have never met someone like ya before! People always like dressing up, doesn't matter how bad it looks, Halloween is for everyone, its the only day its legal to pretend you're someone else" he's slowly losing his mind.

"I get that and I fully support that but its just not for me" she explained, finally finished with her spaghetti and she had to admit it was pretty fucking good. "I have to say, you're a good cook i didnt expect-"

"NO! FORGET ABOUT THE GOSH DARN SPAGHETTI!" He pointed at her face

"Youre goin' to the party even if i have to drag your bum in there"

She whistled, eyebrows up and eyes a little wide. "Oh my, I didnt know you're into that"

"Shut it" he stated but the blush on his cheeks are apprent.

"Youre goin' that's final, wrapped your self in a toilet paper if ya don't got any costume, you just have to be there"

"You literally cannot make me" she shrugged, leaning on the chair with arms crossed. "Im not going to that party even if you have to put a gun to my head, I don't like Halloween, I don't like costumes and I dojt like candies"

"YOU DONT LIKE CANDIES-" he stop himself before taking a deep breath, controlling his emotions. "Its like, its like I don't know you at all"

"Ted we've been friends for like 2 years, of course you don't"

Ted shook his head, distraught. As if the revelation of her dislike for the holiday might send him spiral to a pit of hopelessness. "If you ain't goin, im not goin'"

Her eyes widen. "What the hell are you on about?"

He looked up to her, eyes hard, determined. Like a soldier off to war.

'This is ridiculous' she had thought

"I said, im not goin if ya ain't goin"

"Y-you can't do that! The others would kill me!" She yelled, panic settling deep on her guts. Rebecca would literally drag her corpse on the road, yelling shame! Shame! Shame! While the folks of richmond would throw shit at her face. "Ted, they'll do worse than kill me. Keleey would use my skin to make herself a new bag, you can't do this to me"

"Oh I will" he pointed, shoulder squared. "I will blame it all on ya', if they ask why I ain't goin' ill tell them it was you"

"This is crazy! Why are you even doing this?!" She asked him, wanting to laugh and wanting to cry on how fucking mental it is.

"Why do I even- why do you even want me there?!"

"BECAUSE!"

"THATS NOT A PROPER REASON, IDIOT!" she yelled before groaning, throwing her hands up. "FINE! FINE! IM GOING! GOD!"

He then grinned, big, wide and bright that she had to squint. She hates the part of her brain that told her that suffering on the party is all worth it if she could see him like this for a second , smiling just for her. Its crazy how he can make everything more livable just by existing.

"I know ya would come around"

She scoffed "like you just didn't threaten me"

"Had to do it" he shrugged, still smiling, still joyous. It makes her heart melt.

"Whatever" she looked away when he met her eyes, blush slithering on her cheeks. "Im going only because of you, you hear?"

It was his turn to blush, dimple deep on his cheek and eyes glimmering. "Yes ma'am" he looked down, suddenly shy. "And I'm only goin cause of ya' either"

She gave him a sideways glance, suspicious. "You sure its not for the beer?"

"Nah, just for ya" she suddenly had a sick sick disgusting urge to giggle. "Ya make everythin' better, not the booze"

God she's so inlove with him she would carved a pumpkin right now if he ask.

___________

She went as ghostface.

Tight black shirt and a sweatpants with fake blood (ketchup) splattered on her white shoes and arms. Its a simple costume that required a little amount of effort and money. And she had to admit, she look hot as fuck, she just wished the security guard up front had let her kept the kitchen knife but no matter how many pleading and yelling of 'its not real!' The man wouldn't budge.

She stood next to Rebecca whose dress could send any man with eyes falling on the floor. She went as maleficent, with horns, high cheek bones and everything that made her almost fall inlove with her.

"Hows the drink?" She had asked, smiling at her so pleasantly ever since she had got there.

"Terrible"

"Oh?" She blinked, confused. Blood red lips almost scowling. "Was it too strong?"

"Not strong enough" she replied with a teasing smile that made her boss rolled her eyes.

"Of course you would say that, the one person here that wants to go home"

"Thats not true" she laughed, putting her glass down before leaning on the wall. Watching as the other dance on the floor, some giggling and some stumbling.

"Im actually enjoying myself"

"I doubt it" Rebecca raised her perfectly drawn brow before a slow teasing grin slithered its way on her red lips. "Ted isn't here yet"

She ignored the heat on her ears

"Are you implying i can only enjoy this party if Ted is here? That he's the sunlight on my dark days? Because if so then you're are one hundred percent corre- holy fucking shit, get out of the way" she quickly, as fast can blink, lightly push Rebecca off the view of the entrance door.

"Goodness!"

"Jesus, Mary and Joseph is that Ted fucking Lasso dressed up as a cowboy?" Keeley -dressed as katniss everdeen - strolled in like a ghost in the night, suddenly popping up, a cola on her hand.

"I think I'm about to faint" y/n confessed with a heavy breath while clutching her heart. Rebecca giggled next to her, gently holding her arm.

"Look at him walking around like he doesn't have half of the woman's eyes on him, he's killing me, he's fucking killing me"

"Look at that ass, oh that is criminal" keeley stated with a whistled, watching as Ted walked around, greeting people with a laugh and a smile.

"Is that a whip?" Y/n squinted her eyes and oh fuck it is, it is a whip, right on the holster on his hips - she swallowed thickly, the familiar heat of desperation drawing a line on her stomach.

"I have to say, im impres-"

"Im going to ride him"

Keeley choked on her drink

"excuse you?" Rebecca's head whipped around to look at y/n's face, eyes blown wide.

"Forget about the horse, im going to ride Ted Lasso tonight"

"Y-youre going to hook up with him?" Keleey asked her carefully a grin on her lips. "Tonight? Like actually tonight?"

"If he let's me" she answered though her eyes still hangs heavy on Ted Lasso who is currently standing across the room with Beard beside him dressed as Alan from the hangover.

"So you're going to confessed?" Rebecca then asked "Because this is your opportunity to tell him what you really feel, this is your time"

Ted's eyes suddenly met hers and suddenly - everything stops.

The chatter, the song, even the loud flash of cameras and the yells of the drunk. As if one look from him can make the whole world stop turning, made the time crumbles and lay dust beneath his foot.

She could hear her breathing, slow and full and deep. As if he's taking it away, feeding from her own soul. For a minute she would let him, let him take it all, place her heart on his palm and make him promise to keep it close, pour her soul onto his mouth and kiss it to seal its lock, reduce herself into nothing but atoms and dust and particles on the air and be kept in a jar, forever still, forever there, forever on him.

Ted grinned so beautifully she could cry, he gave her a wave, almost shy, almost adoring before he took his first step towards her. Every foot the same rhythm as her heart, for a second she believed in soul mate and for a second she had hoped it was him.

"Hes coming this way!" Keeley squealed lowly, turning away from him and walked towards the bar. "Im going to pretend I dont know you so you can jump on him, okay?"

"Im going to, uh, going over there! Right there to Higgins" she scrambled to lift off her gown and run lightly towards her assistance who's currently dressed as a Frankenstein.

Ted walked towards her, apologizing to the people he had bumped on his way. She doesnt think she can love anyone like this dork..

He wore a flannel, blue and black and rolled over his thick forearms. It was tucked inside his jeans, scandalously tight on his muscled thighs. There's a leather belt slithered between it, thick with a silver buckled on its front. A whip and a fake gun hang on each side.

There's a red bandana hanging on his neck and brown cowboy hat place upon his head.

Ted lasso looks sinful underneath the beating lights and shadows, like a proper seduction on a night, dress in pure temptation with a smile that held thousand of promise.

"Howdy, ma'am" he tipped his hat on her, winking. "Never have i thought I would see a lady as fine as you are"

She pray to get she wouldn't get a nosebleed. "Why thank you, cowboy" she push her mask down, hiding the grin and the blush on her cheek.

"I must say, you look good enough to eat-" she approached him a little, standing close. "-ya wouldn't mind a little bite would ya', sweetheart?"

Ted swallowed "n-not at all"

"What got you stuttering now, little lamb?" She went up to his face, titling her head a little, as if taunting him. "Youre not scared are you?"

Thank fuck for the mask, if it wasn't for it she would be on the floor right now, confidence and determination gone and replaced by the undying need to have him and never let go.

"you're really into your character arent ya?" Ted grinned at you.

"Was i?" She peered up to him with smirk, removing the mask off her face. "What are you going to do about it, cowboy? Lasso me away?"

Ted's dimple become apparent "Might have to if ya keep this up" he titled his head "Whisk you away out'a 'ere and show you what happens to a pretty little naughty thing like ya'"

Her breath hitched, body hot and guts swirlin. Her fingers itched to yank his collar and kiss him stupid.

"Yeah?" She uttered breathlessly

Ted nod his head, gaze stuck on her mouth. "Mhm, but ya would like that wouldn't ya? Have ya with me, bound and tied. Bet you would love it, a minx like ya'"

"Oh I would love it alright" she looked up to him with half lided eyes, almost drank on the words spouting of his mouth.

"Specially so because its you"

Ted had blushed then, red and harsh even under the thousand beating lights. He chuckled, the magic that reside between them now gone, replaced by the silence that you could only get when everything is light and adoring and filled with colors of love and feelings too big for your own heart.

"I uh," he looked down "im glad ya' came, thought ya wouldn't"

She chuckled and took a step back, away from his space.

"I told you I would didn't I?"

"Yeah I know but I thought you're just foolin' me, get me to shut up"

"Ted i would literally pay you my entire savings just to NEVER shut up" she smiled when he shyly looked away. "You know how much I enjoy you talk, even about things I do not understand like a 100 years old pop culture reference from an ancient movie"

"Im not that old" he grumbled rather adorably and it took everything on her not to pinch his cheeks.

"Yeah? Bet your hips would pop if I took you to the dance floor right now"

He stared at her for a couple of seconds before a grin erupted on his lips. "Is this your way of asking me to dance?"

She sighed "depends, are you going to say yes?"

"You gosh darn right I will!" He had replied with a big smile before interrupting it with a pointed finger " 'n not cause of your allegations about my perfectly fine hips, its cause I want to dance with ya'"

"I know that ted" she laughed, grabbing his hand suddenly, warm and big and rough. She likes it. "Now show me what you got, cowboy. You're too fine not to show off on the dance floor"

_________

They stumbled around the flat, kissing heatedly - all teeth and tounge and the pain of desperation to consume.

"Fuck, you're killing me" she grumbled, eyes half lided and lips red and wet. Her fingers worked in frenzy to take off every clothing he wore, buttons flying and his hat somewhere on the floor.

"Did I mention how good you look tonight?" She nose his neck, licking a stripe that had him shivering. "Did I, darling?"

"N-no, oh god" he moaned when her palm squeezed the outline of his cock on his tight jeans.

She smirked and bit him lightly on the skin between his shoulder.

"Well you are, my love." She whispered, not even bothering to give a flying fuck on the nickname she had accidently slip out. "Absolutely handsome, couldn't keep my fucking eyes off you you know that?"

Ted looked half drunk across you, hair a mess and neck covered with bites. "I-i didnt know ya find, ngh- I didnt know ya find me t-that attractive, sweetheart"

"All the flirting wasn't enough then?" She questioned, pushing him to fall on the couch and he did, easily, with a grunt and a look of anticipation and dark lust.

"Looks like you're more of a visual learner eh?" She sat on his lap, grinding her heated core on his hard cock - wet with slick and thick between her thighs. "What do you say, cowboy? Gonna let me ride you till sunrise?"

Ted moaned loudly, hands gripping her waist and nails digging on the flesh. "Y-yes please"

She smiled, hands slithering on his hair before pulling it to bare his throat to her like a submissive prey would. "Dont worry, darling. I'll take good care of you"

In one move his cock was inside her, thick and splitting her open. A gush of slick drip down her thighs and Ted moaned loudly, not a care in the world. "God.." he groaned, throwing his head back. "Feels good, fuck, ya feel so fuckin' good baby doll"

The nickname send shiver down her spine, a tingling of heat and cold.

"Squeezin' my damn cock so fuckin' tight" he licked his lips before grinning up to her, eyes lazy, dark and blown wide. "Ya sure this cunt ain't made f'me, dollface? You takin' my cock like champ"

She moaned on his filthy words, tounge frozen and chest tight. She could feel him inside her, deep on her guts, moving and rearranging anything it can reach.

"Yeah-fuck, look at ya'" he strike a palm on her ass, loud. "Beautiful thing sat on my cock, s'yours yeah?" He took her mouth, gifting her a wet kiss, pulling her bottom lip. "How ya feelin', bunny? Feels good?"

"Y-yes, feels-fuck, feel so full" she arched her back as Ted's hand went to her waist, big palm squeezing it thigh with his thumb caressing the skin he can reach.

"Cock's too big, ain't it?" He questioned, a lazy smirk on his lips. "Fitting into your tiny cunt just right though yeah? Look at it" his other hand went to her soaking pussy, caressing her folds before sucking it clean with a hummed. "Swallowing me whole easily, what a good fuckin' girl ya are. Makes me wonder if ya can take my cock on the back, fill ya up even more what'd ya say?"

He pulled her close and she gasped as his dick pierced her impossibly more deeper. "Talk to me, darlin'" he nose her neck, breathing warmth on her throat. "Gonna let your man tear ya' up from behind? Shoot my cum inside ya till you're a drippy mess hm?"

Goodness his fucking mouth..' she had thought, shivering.

"Bet ya would huh?" He bit a skin on her neck before sucking it harshly, drawing a bruise and a shiver on her spine. She moaned when his hands went to her ribs, big they were and rough, a hands of a man who could toss her around. "Bet ya would even beg for it, ya naughty thing"

His fingers went to her shoulder, brushing it gently with heavy breath and heated eyes. Tracing the collar bone and the line between her breast before his fingers reach her perked up nipple - making her shudder. "Beautiful" he whispered lowly, as if it was a secret meant only for himself. His hand envelop her whole breast, playing with it as his cock speared her in a pace that had her toes curling. She could feel every vein inside her, every thrust had her cunt quivering and gushing, painting his pelvis with her own slick.

His mouth went to her nipple, hot and smooth and soaking. His tounge swirled and his lashes flutter as he closed his eyes, the hand on her ribs pulled her much closer than before and Ted sucked at her nipple like a man starve, groaning.

She bounce on his cock, moaning wantonly from the fullness between her thighs, she swore she could feel his dick on her throat, so deep and so thick it was splitting her open, making a room inside her just for his cock and his alone.

"Thats it" he remove his mouth off her nipple with a pop before throwing his head back. "Thats it, dollface. Take my cock like ya own it" he clenched his jaw, the litte hair dangling on his forehead moving at every movement she makes, long eyelashes closed and mouth slightly agape.

She moaned when his hips started moving, meeting her thrust halfway through, it hit the hidden spot inside her that made her want to scream and sob and stop at the same time. "T-ted, Ted, Ted!" She repeated his name like a mantra, like a broken prayer of a desperate man, filled with adoration and lust and yearning for something she doesnt even know what.

He groaned loudly, almost like a growl of a feral man before he sat up more straighter, grabbing her closely, impossibly close, pushing her head on his neck and hugging her tight on his own sweaty body that it render immovable and writhing in pleasure. "Gonna fuck your pretty little pussy just like this yeah?" He stated in her ear before his hips started moving much faster, more harder, hitting her spot over and over again that every thrust had her gushing and moaning.

"Yeah, fuck yeah, t-take it, take it, take it" he repeated in her ear, thick thick cock spearing her mercilessly until she was sobbing and drawing her nails on his shoulder.

"S'too m-much!" She complained and yet she widen her thighs further more, savoring the feeling of his wet cock. "T-teddyy" she whined, pushing her face into his neck as tears fell from her eyes.

"What got ya cryin' now, sweetheart?" He chuckled breathlessly, hips still moving, dick still splitting her open. His hand went to her nape, grabbing it with his whole palm before pulling it to glimpse at her fucked out face. "Even with tears drippin' on your cheeks you're fuckin' beautiful" he pecked her lips sweetly before drawing back, a grin on his lips. "'S my cock too much for ya' dolly? Daddy hurtin' your cunt hm? Do-dont worry.." his hand tighten. "Gonna give ya my cum to make it all better"

That was the last straw of it all, snapping everything in place, cogs turning and limbs rigid.

She came on his cock with a cry and a thousand tears on her cheeks, back arching and quivering that Ted had to hold him more tighter. She could feel her cum dripping down his cock, soaking him wet. Ted moaned in return, loving the filth of it all, basking on it even - he watched her face relax and brows furrowed, letting herself be used even when her cunt throbs.

"T-teddy" she whined lowly, biting her lip. Her hand went to his arm, gripping it tight. "C-cant, m'too, im too s-sensitive!"

"Just a lil' mo-more" he groaned, holding her waist now, lifting her up and bringing her down, completely using her like she was only a hole for him, a cum dump. "Ya can take it, d-darlin'. M'sure ya could yeah? Jus-just a little, be good f'me"

She squealed and she sob, soaping cunt loud at every thrust. He was breathing heavily then, sweating like a dog in heat as he split her. Thighs sticky and cunt still dripping.

"Fu-fuck, bunny" he groaned, grinding her on his throbbing cock. "M' close, f-fuck, so fuckin' close" he whined, head thumping on her chest, breath warming her breast. "G-gonna cum, can-can i, can I fill ya' up? Pleas-please please, oh god.." the sound he had made was between a sob and a moan, it made her guts coil, made her cheeks hot.

"Mhm hm" she nod her head quickly, pulling him close to him. "P-please cum inside me, t-ted pl-please" tears drip down her cheeks, cunt swollen and clit throbbing with need. Hes stretching her wide, touching every corner of her inside.

"Y-yeah, thank you dolly, fu-fuck thank you" he groaned and push his hips much faster, fucking her silly with his cock. "Gonna fill your pretty pussy up nice and good yeah?" He was breathing heavily, heaving chest and throbbing cock. She can feel it more on her guts, a dull bump on her tummy at every movement he makes."G-gonna have ya drippin' f'me, use ya' like a fuckin hole and dump my spunk into your pussy yeah? Fuck!" He gave a harsh thrust "Oh god, sweetheart oh fuck i love you"

Her eyes widen.

"Love ya' so fuckin' much" he growled, pulling her onto his lap before he lift his hips up and gave her a single harsh thrust. "Fucking take it, take it, take it" he repeated in her ear as his cum came flooding in, hot and so so many.

"Yeah, s-shit look'a that. 'S too much its dripping out'a ya'" he groaned, thrusting slower then, riding his high.

"Ya did such a good job" he sighed as he had stopped, pulling out of her with a low moan and a shudder.

He kissed her forehead with a lazy grin. "Lets get ya clean-"

"You said you love me" she interrupted him with a wide eyes and a blushing cheeks.

"What?"

"You told me you love me" she repeated, as if in trance. "You said you love me so much earlier, you repeated it twice, Ted"

Ted sat frozen underneath her before looking away, suddenly so so sad.

"I-yeah, okay, no point in-in denying i supposed" his brows furrowed and his eyes had turned into that softer gentler look that had her heart always aching. "I love ya..for, for a long time. Don't know how it started and I'm quiet upset im confessing to ya' like this but what do I do" he chuckled but the humour on it was gone. He met her eyes, earnest, adoring, the same gaze he had used to looked at her for as long as she can remember, a gaze she couldn't put a finger on back then but could finally see it as clearly as day now.

"I love you, im inlove with you, stu-stupidly so and I get it if ya don't feel the same, its okay and I can do whatever ya like me too after this, I can walk away or I can pretend to never know ya at-"

She kissed him.

She kissed him like he would loose him.

Like any second he would turn into ashes, flew in the air and never to be return again. Tasted him like It would be her last to see him for a very long time, as if he's off to war with death hanging like a noose on his head, ready to pull and ready to kill.

"I love you too, you fucking idiot" she grinned up to him, eyes wet and cheeks hurting.

"I love you, Ted. I fucking love you"

Ted smiled, big and bright despite the darkness of the night. He looks beautiful with happiness lingering on his eyes.

"Can I kiss you?"

"Yes, fuck yes"

Their lips met and yeah..yeah maybe Halloween wasn't too bad.

Ted smiled on her lips and it tasted sickeningly sweet as a melted sugar.

Yep, it definitely wasn't bad at all.

#ted lasso #jason sudeikis #ted lasso x reader #fanfiction #ted lasso fanfic #ted lasso fanfiction #ted lasso smut #ted lasso one shot #ted lasso imagine #cowboy #holloween

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hilsoncrater · 1 year

Text

I am once again going to queer analyze the fuck out of Ted Lasso, specifically the scene with Trent and Ted in the hallway at the end of Season 3, Episode 7.

Trent swoops in as the door is closing behind Ted, calls out, “TED!”, and then he runs towards Ted, who is walking away from him. Ted turns, bewildered, because here is Trent -- cool, calm, awkward Trent -- completely out of his shell like never before. There’s a spark to Trent. He’s excited, he’s rambling, he’s so close to Ted. He’s vulnerable, too, because he is laying everything he’s thinking and feeling out in the open. (“It’s going to work!” “And I’ll tell you why -- The Lasso Way!” “You haven’t switched tactics in a week!”)

Chemistry goes both ways. It’s a feedback loop, in a sense, because Ted is taking in what Trent is giving. He turns fully to face Trent, even turning when Trent leaves; actively engages by asking questions (“Great! What is?” “Why?” “I haven’t?”); and the more this interaction goes on, the more Ted’s face goes from bewildered to fond. Is he humoring Trent by letting him ramble? Yeah, he is, because he finds it endearing.

The way it’s shot plays a massive role, too. We the audience know that Roy and Beard are there all along. However, we temporarily forget their presence because the camera is equally close on both Trent and Ted. And the intensity of Trent’s rambling distracts us. It’s not until their little conversation is over that the angle is zoomed out and we’re reminded they aren’t alone. It’s intentionally done like that as an insight onto how Ted feels. He’s tuned in on what Trent has to say, and everything else falls away to the background.

In a heavy rom-com episode, this is the love interest’s confesional to the main character.

Trent was sparking. So much so I’ve seen people say they expected the two to kiss. And that thought doesn’t just pop up out of nowhere. You don’t arrive to that conclusion baseless. Which means:

1) The simmering three-season-long groundwork put into their relationship is rock solid.

2) The romcom beats -- which have gotten more frequent -- are subconciously hitting the audience and therefore priming us to expect a follow through (re: a kiss)

3) Characters do not get that close unless it’s to kiss, fight, or scheme. Clearly they aren’t fighting or scheming, so what other expectation is there?

Now hold onto your hat, cowboy. This is where it gets fun.

This hallway scene is a direct parallel to Rebecca and Ted in the West Ham hallway. It’s at an away game; Rebecca and Trent are both potential love interests with an air of manic energy; and, again, it takes place in a hallway with the team in the locker room.

Only this time, with Trent, everything is subverted.

Ted walks to Rebecca vs Trent runs to Ted.

Rebecca touches Ted vs Trent doesn’t physically engage.

Ted being uncomfortable the entire interaction vs Ted leaning into the interaction.

Beard and Roy not being present vs Beard and Roy being there.

This subversion also applies to where Rebecca and Trent’s respective manic energy stem from. Their energy levels are foils of one another.

Rebecca’s stems from negative external factors outside of Richmond (re: Rupert) and the fact the team is losing the match/things are not working.

Trent’s stems from positive internal factors within Richmond (re: belief in The Lasso Way) and the fact things are going to work despite the team losing the match.

Let’s get queer up in here and extrapolate those subversions to sexuality:

Ted slowly approaches heterosexuality (Rebecca), alone (without community) and is uncomfortable by the external pressures placed upon him, the way heterosexuality imposes its touch on him. He visibly looks/feels worse after the interaction.

Queerness (Trent) running up behind Ted with a warning shout (hitting Ted when he doesn’t expect it) and while Ted is surrounded by others (with community). And at first Ted is confused by it, but as soon as he hears it out, gives it a chance, he grows fond of what it has to say. It does not impose its touch on him, and the pressure is an excited internal one. Ted visibly looks/feels better after the interaction.

In Trent’s words, it’s going to work.

#anyways!! going to stop it there because holy shit i can talk about this entire episode #ted lasso #ted lasso spoilers #trent crimm #tedtrent #tedependent #ted lasso meta

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my-soupy-brain · 6 months

Note

i just needed ted dressed up as a cowboy for halloween party [with a whip and everything]

do with it whatever you want 🥵

Gonna bump this one because it's Halloween weekend, y'all! I think Ted would have fun with this - and so would you. Teehee. Let's gooo!

---

Relationship: Ted Lasso x reader (f)

Warnings: Fluff, fun + smut!

---

You'd never done a couple's costume before. Your ex-boyfriend never liked Halloween and thought costume parties were lame.

Add it to the one billion reasons why you weren't a fit, because Halloween was your favorite holiday.

So when Ted jumped at the chance for a couple's costume, you were overjoyed.

"What should we go as this year, darlin'?" Ted asked enthusiastically, looking at his phone for ideas.

"How about ketchup and mustard?" he asked, holding his phone to you for two silly bottle-shaped costumes with pointy hats.

You chuckle. "I like that, but I was thinking something fun! Like dress up!"

Ted smiles, the idea of you playing dress up is always sexy to him.

"Oh, how about this?!" you turn your phone to him, showing him a cowboy with chaps and a hat, and a gaudy Gone With the Wind-style dress and bustle.

Ted whistles. "Well, sugar, you've got me beat. If you show up in that, I'll have to lasso ya - literally - back to the bedroom."

You grin and blush.

"If that's what you wanna be, I'll do it." Ted smiles earnestly and you click the order button faster than you thought possible.

...

The following week at Rebecca's big Halloween bash, you're more than excited to put on your new costumes.

Ted emerges from the bedroom in denim, faux leather chaps, cowboy boots, a flannel shirt, and a cowboy hat.

He's got a rope hanging off his belt, and a fake pistol in a holster.

"Howdy, ma'am," he says lowly as he walks over to you, tilting his hat. And oh God the things that did to you.

"H-hi, there cowboy," you murmur, looking up at him as he offers his hand to you. He kisses the top of your hand like a proper gentleman.

"Well aren't you prettier than sunshine breakin' through on a cloudy day," he says with a smile, marveling at you.

The satin dress hangs to the floor, lace draped just right along the hips, the bust pushing your breasts up high on your chest. You've got your hair piled up in a messy but era-appropriate bun, equipped with a big black feather.

"We look like we're doing one of those old-time photo booths," you joke, looking at you next to Ted, who pulls you in by the hips and kisses your jaw and neck.

"Gonna be hard to keep my hands off ya, not gonna lie," he says, his mustache scratching lightly down the skin of your neck and collarbone. Your fingers toy with the rope hanging off his belt.

"Maybe we get to play with this later," you whisper, and he gulps.

"These jeans are awful tight, you better not say things like that, sugar," he jokes with a chuckle.

...

At Rebecca's party, everyone's dressed to the nines. Rebecca is dressed as a Victorian aristocrat, which isn't far off from who she really is, but the pale-white powder and dramatic makeup was something she pulled off for full effect.

Roy and Keeley went as the latest pop star + pro athlete couple, Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce. Which gave her plenty of reason to wear sequins and Roy to sport a mustache and an American football jersey. Seeing a KC Chiefs jersey made Ted smile.

The boys from the club came as various zombies, with Jamie leading the way as Michael Jackson from "Thriller," complete with a red faux leather suit and black shoes.

It was... a trip.

When Rebecca turned the lights down and the music up, everyone had a ball. Music pumped through the speakers. The spiked punch was flowing with a fog machine.

This was the most kick-ass Halloween party you've ever attended.

A photobooth in the back corner gave you and Ted a reason to get some cute photos together, kissing most of the way through the flashes.

Later in the night while you're dancing with Keeley and Rebecca, you feel Ted approach, tying his rope around your waist.

"What are you..." you ask, and he leans into your ear.

"In case I wanna yank ya closer," he whispers, his lips grazing your ear. "You're makin' me crazy in this get-up."

You blush and feel your body fill with heat, and so you smile. Ted moves closer to dance with you, holding his lasso rope in one hand while the other runs up and down your waist and hips.

"I mean, damn, darlin'," he says again, looking down your very obvious cleavage.

You swipe his red kerchief from his pocket and stuff it down the front of your dress, nestled between your breasts.

"What else can you fit in there," Ted whispers with a low chuckle.

"Wouldn't you like to know, cowboy?"

...

The night drags to a close, plenty danced out, a little buzzed on the spiked punch. Photos will be revealed for what you don't remember tomorrow.

But Ted's hands haven't stopped touching you for the last two hours, pawing at you and dancing behind you, his woodsy cologne sending you in a trance.

"Wanna get outta here, sugar?" Ted asks huskily in your ear, his lips kissing your neck gently. Everyone's dancing or swaying or drinking in the darkness of the room, making it more comfortable to canoodle.

You nod happily.

"Let's go, cowboy."

Once back in the flat, he's pushed you against the door, his hands trailing under your dress, finding the thigh-high fishnets that you added for the costume and it growls against your neck.

"G-goddamn, baby," he murmurs, his greedy hands rubbing up and down your thighs, hips, ass.

His big hand holds a thigh to his side and you can tell he's straining more than usual behind the stiff denim of his jeans.

"Bedroom," you whisper to his lips, and he quickly pulls away, grabbing your hand and leading you through the apartment.

You waste no time: Unzipping the satin dress, letting it pool on the floor, but just as you're about to remove the heels and fishnet stockings...

"C-can you keep those on for me, darlin'?" Ted asks pensively. You smile with a glint in your eye. "Of course I can."

He strips the flannel and denim off, left in an undershirt and boxer briefs, affixed with little cowboys, how appropriate. His hair is mussed as he climbs over you and kisses you, his lips trailing down your neck, collarbone, and chest.

"You're like a piece of cake, just for me," he says, licking and nibbling and tasing you all the way down and back up.

Enough teasing and tickles tonight mean you're ready to go, but Ted moves your panties to the side to tease you with his fingers first, groaning at how good it'll feel.

"C'mon cowboy, show me what you've got," you tease, and Ted growls again, his fingers dancing up your thigh and to your hip. He watches you with a smirk when your mouth drops open and you take a deep breath.

"I'mma bout to show ya the best moves this side of the Mississippi," he jokes, making you smile.

As sexy as it is, sex with Ted is always fun. Full of laughter and whispers and soft caresses.

Your bodies rock together, his face nestled into your neck as he breathes and grunts and your legs affixed to the sides of his hips means he can go as deep as possible.

When he feels your body tense and shudder, he knows, moving his hand between your bodies, his thumb circling your clit.

"Oh, shit!" you cry out, "Just like that!"

He loves it when you direct him, and keeps his dark hazel eyes trained on you while you climax, shaking under his spell.

"There ya go, doll," he whispers. "Make ya feel real good..."

Watching you fall apart means it doesn't take him long to follow -- he just always makes sure you get there first. When he leans down and picks up the pace, your lips against his neck send him falling over with you.

Your sleek, sweaty bodies hold each other as he falls into the bed, and you both smile wide at the ceiling.

"I'd be terrible as a saloon brothel girl," you say in the silence, making Ted chuckle.

"Why's that?"

"Because there's one cowboy I want as my customer," you answer, smiling as you kiss his lips gently. "A certain Mr. Theodore Lasso with his lasso."

Ted laughs and pulls you into his chest, turning out the lamp as you snuggle up to sleep.

---

This was longer than I expected but I LOVE LOVE LOVE Halloween and I love this concept. I know Ted would have a blast too. Thanks for the prompt, friend!

#ted lasso x reader #ted lasso fanfic #ted lasso fanfiction #ted lasso smut #ted lasso fluff #ted lasso x you #ted lasso x halloween

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aveys6 · 1 year

Text

watched 3.06 for the 3rd time today.

it's so beautiful to see the characters you love having so much fun.

it's what you wish to see in every show; what people are like when they dont have to put so much effort in pushing the plot of their life forward.

starting to believe that every little thing,

is gonna be alright :)

heres a roll of my favorite moments

in no particular order of scenes or admiration

* dani trying and failing to keep his tulip request anonymous

* isaac's impassioned speech in the lobby

* feathers in everyone's hair

* the couple retreating in horror at the state of the lobby

* the staff watching the pillow fight so amused :)

* trent being asked for tourist-y input and giving a nerdy answer (that the team still appreciated!)

* rebecca dancing with boat man in that beautiful dress, hair down, barefoot

* the whole confrontation between trent and colin. beautiful beautiful beautiful

* trent's cunty animal print shoes

* colin freaking out over vanilla vodka actually being served LMFAO

* phil dunster's voice acting was incredible! i keep watching his scenes with brett, especially the "windmills are real, man. what are you talking about?" AND "fucking hell roy. do you know how to tie your own laces?"

* jamie sobering up when roy told him to stop being a dick

* "put your feet on the pedals. PUT YOUR FEET ON THE PEDALS"

* roy's breathing exercises

* "i'm gonna fucking kill you"

* "i can't turn the other way"

* roy and jamie apologizing to each other

* rebecca and beard duet

* sam pretending to cough out feathers on the bus

* moe being a nerd

* ted's whole trip scene. nick mohammed dressed as a cowboy. him being served his favorite barbecue sauce. TSA. the triangle animations. all of it incredible

* triangles. tri-angles. TRY angles. TRY ANGELS

* ted's van gogh doodle

* total football already existing

* dud batch

* jamie and roy biking away together

* higgins performing bass

* charlie hiscock's acting is incredible

* will being invited for a threesome

* colin touching trent's arm on the bus

* trent being underdressed finally and smiling!!!

* the shot of keeley's ad for amsterdam quickly changing to the shot of ted's nearly empty shroom tea

* beard's excessive skin care routine

* "don't tell jan. where's ted?"

* trent just appearing behind colin

* colin's speech :(

* keeley seeing the aurora borealis :)

* colin and trent sitting on the gay monument

* "is everything okay at home?"

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daydreamgoddess14 · 10 months

Text

Rebecca Welton's F*** You, Ted Tour

MASTERLIST

I have literally no idea where this came from. It stated out as a lighthearted homage to Hannah Waddingham's fantastic social life but it grew just a little bit bigger and a bit more angsty! Ahh well there's a happy ending at least!

~~~~~~

Rebecca Welton and friends having fun in the VIP area at Glastonbury watching Elton John.

Cowboy boots. She was wearing fucking Cowboy boots and shorts. With glittery face paint across her cheekbone and Keeley Jones under her arm. She looked free, unburdened, wild. Ted felt all of his blood rush south. Fortunately he was in his car. And alone.

A week later, another sighting.

Rebecca Welton attends the Men's European Under-21 Championship Final at the Adjarabet Arena, Georgia. Ms Welton saw the England team beat Spain and is no doubt looking at potential players to join AFC Richmond.

Seeing her at a football match, Higgins by her side was like being at home again. He pushed the thought away.

Another week later, a veritable flurry of sightings.

Saturday: Rebecca Welton attends Wimbledon with friends. She's pictured here with the AFC Richmond Captain, Isaac McAdoo and his sister.

God, that white sundress was something else. He scrolled through picture after picture of her laughing and pulling faces until his vision swam and he couldn't see any more.

Sunday: Rebecca Welton attends the British Formula 1 Grand Prix at Silverstone with her Goddaughter.

Formula 1? Formula fucking 1? He had no idea that she was even a fan of the sport until she was interviewed on the track and he had to hear her voice, hear her laugh. And goddammit if she didn't suddenly spill stats from her gorgeous mouth.

"Are you having fun Ms Welton?"

"I am. Looking forward to a fantastic race and hopefully a British winner on the podium."

"And are you ready for the new season in a couple of weeks? When do you plan to announce the new gaffer?"

"Ready and raring to go. New manager will be announced next week."

She was then pictured giving Pep Guardiola a warm hug and the pair posed for a photograph together. She knew exactly what she was doing.

Sunday: Rebecca Welton attends Bruce Springsteen at BST Hyde Park with AFC Richmond Coach, Roy Kent and Head of KBPR, Keeley Jones.

How the heck did she go from Formula 1 to Bruce Springsteen in the space of an afternoon?! She was with Keeley again, and Roy. The women pictured with hands in the air, dancing wildly and singing along. One of his biggest regrets was not asking her to dance more.

Apart from anything else, she must be exhausted. He hadn't really noticed her in the media much when he’d lived in the UK, but now, she seemed to be everywhere. Every weekend a different sporting event or gig. In light of his departure, Ted had taken it upon himself to avoid contact as much as possible. To put up the fences around his heart - he learned it from the best. But here she was, week in and week out making it impossible.

She was on the 'Rebecca Welton Fuck You, Ted Tour'.

He could have made life easier on himself, sure. Turned off the Google alerts for her name (former married name, and maiden name). Maybe uninstalled Instagram. But that all seemed a bit extreme. He could do this. He could go cold turkey. He definitely, absolutely did not need to look at every single notification. And the phantom notifications as well when he was so sure he'd heard his phone ping (it hadn't). He'd then have to check the volume was up on his phone - wouldn't want to miss a call or message from Henry (he never did). The worst bit was that Henry was seeing the same posts and articles.

“Dad! Are you kidding me - we could have seen Elton John?!”

“Dad, dad, dad! She went to a FINAL and the England team WON and we could have been there!”

“Fast. Cars. Dad. I could have had such a badass summer, instead I’m still in boring Kansas!” Ted had explained his reasoning for coming home to both Henry and Michelle but both seemed so… disappointed in him. Certainly more disappointed than Dottie had been during her visit - and that was really saying something.

“We were just so excited for a really fun summer, Ted. That’s all. I’d booked an AirB&B between Richmond and the city, Henry and I were picking out shows to go and watch. I’d signed up for pre-release Wimbledon tickets - turns out I didn’t need to, I could have just asked Rebecca! We had so much planned.”

“Oh.”

“Oh? Oh, you move over 4000 miles back to the US without consulting me and all I get is ‘oh’?”

“I didn’t realise I had to consult my ex wife in order to move closer to my son.”

“You know that’s not what I mean. Don’t twist my words because you’re angry with yourself for leaving and angry with Rebecca for daring to live her life.” He looked up, shocked. “I’ve seen her out and about the last few weeks - having fun. Bit of a contrast to when I last spoke to her, when I could barely understand what she was saying she was crying so hard.”

“I’m sorry, what? When did you speak to her?”

“I shouldn’t have-”

“Michelle, when?” He stressed.

“You were on the flight back here. She said she was at the airport and she wanted to apologise to me. She said she’d tried so hard to make things work for you in both countries. She asked me to look out for you once you got back. Wanted me to really make sure that you’d be ok. She was worried about you, she was… heartbroken, Ted. Utterly heartbroken.” Ted managed to find a kitchen chair before his legs gave out. “You foolish man. Did you really not have a clue?” He shook his head. “And now you’re torturing yourself every time she’s photographed leaving the house.”

“I had no idea she’d called you.”

“She didn’t want you to know. She just wanted to be certain that you’d have someone here to check in on you. I guess she knew you’d struggle with being away from the club. She clearly knows you better than you know yourself.” He gave an empty laugh. “But she’s not ok, Ted.”

“She looks it, she looks incre-. Never mind, she looks fine.”

“You were right the first time, she does look incredible. She’s also still heartbroken. Look at the pictures of her, Ted. Really look at her. That smile never reaches her eyes, she’s hanging by a thread.” She patted him on the shoulder and left him alone. He reached for his phone and scrolled back through. Michelle was right, he really concentrated, noted the tension in her shoulders, the dullness in her eyes, the automated smiles, and made a decision.

“Chelle, I need to-”

“Yes you do, Ted. You need to get on that 'Fuck You, Ted Tour' before the tickets sell out.” He looked incredulous. “What? That’s what she’s doing! Hoping that keeping busy and mentally saying ‘fuck you’ to you will heal her. Now pull yourself together and book a damn flight.”

“What about Henry, what about you?”

“We’re fine, we’ll figure it out. I’ll book something to join you next week and we’ll work it out once your brain is not completely at capacity.”

“My mom?”

“Should never have made you feel the way she did. The only person who can confirm what kind of dad you are, is Henry and guess what? He loves you, he’s happy and he wants you to be happy. That’s all there is, your mom’s opinion on this counts for nothing.”

He was at the airport before Henry was out of school.

From his flight, he arranged a place to stay and let Beard know of his impromptu visit. It took what felt like forever for a reply to come through. Eventually, he responded with a to the point: The boss is at a Bon Voyage party this afternoon for the Lionesses before they travel to Australia for the World Cup. It’s being held at the Sky Gardens. Keeley has called them up and added you to the guest list. Helpfully, Beard had also included a link with the location. Ted hadn’t specified a return date, and Beard didn’t ask. He stared at the invite email, which had just landed in his inbox. Go get her. The follow-up message arrived, interrupting his pensive freaking-out. He landed at Heathrow in jeans and a button-down shirt. Hardly the right attire for a red carpet event for women’s football. He sent a vaguely panicked message to the Diamond Dogs message thread and received a reply from Trent: It’s not about the clothes, it’s about the man. Stop stalling and go. So he did. Straight onto the train, straight into the city and then, following the directions on his phone to the looming skyscraper, which appeared to lean down to look at him. With the Sky Garden closed for the event, there was no queue, so he made his way to the front desk and handed them his phone with the invite on screen. They cross checked his information with their list and he was directed to the elevators with an “I’m sorry sir, the event has already started but you’re welcome to go straight up to join the attendees.”

The view was spectacular. Not the view across the Thames of the Shard, though that was impressive. The view of the who’s who of women’s football. England Lionesses milled around talking to club owners, managers and other players. Sponsors and executives filled the gaps and servers held trays of champagne aloft. He could already see Rebecca through the crowd, he could always see her. She hadn’t seen him yet. He made his way through the sea of people until he was spotted by the person she was speaking with. He had no idea who they were, but they knew him.

“Coach Lasso! What a pleasant surprise!” Rebecca, who still had her back to him, spun around so fast that the heel of her shoe twisted underneath her, sending her slipping backwards. He dashed out an arm to catch her at the waist and used his other hand to pull her up to standing. He could feel her trembling in his hands, she let go as soon as she was upright and able to, her eyes not moving from him.

“Well, I just had to see off the Lionesses and wish them luck for the World Cup.”

“I’m so glad you came. Rebecca, we’ll catch up later.” The woman patted her arm gently and left them alone. As alone as they could be in a room of a couple of hundred people. Rebecca grabbed a glass of champagne from a passing waiter and chugged it.

“Crushed it, boss.” He murmured just loud enough for her to hear.

“What. The fuck. Are you doing here?” She hissed. He hesitated.

“I’m not entirely sure. Can we go somewhere? Can we talk?”

“You can talk here. I’m busy.”

“I noticed. You’ve had a stacked out few weeks. Tennis, Formula 1, gigs.”

“Keeping tabs on me? I had a husband who did that once upon a time.”

“I’m worried about you.”

“You don’t need to be. I’m on my 'Fuck You, Ted' pity party where I go around and live my life like you didn’t leave a big gaping fucking hole in it.”

“I’ve been refering to it as the 'Rebecca Welton Fuck You, Ted Tour'.” He shrugged, she stared. “I’m worried about you,” he repeated. “Your smile ain’t the same, you’re tense.”

“Fuck you, Ted. These things happen when the person you love decides to walk away without even trying. Without even considering other options."

"I didn't have another option."

"Yes, Ted, you did. But you were so hellbent on being right that you chose not to see it. So now you have to live with the consequence of being wrong and seeing the truth. It's the shitty equivalent of having your cake and eating it."

"God, I love it when you talk like this. You're incredible."

"Do you know what, Ted? I know I am. It's taken a lot for me to see it, and at first, you were the biggest help in doing that. Then you fucked off back to America and I had to start all over again. So again, for what feels like the millionth time, fuck you. I'm not going to let you switch me on and off like a sodding light bulb. Excuse me, I have people to speak to here." She brushed past him. He caught her hand just in time, but she tugged it away from him and stepped outside onto the large viewing platform. He watched as she shook her hands and body out, trying to loosen up and relax, but it wasn't long before she clutched her chest, panic creeping across her face. He was pushing through the doors before she'd even had a chance to turn towards the window to seek him out. He maneuvered them to a corner of the terrace. The terror in her eyes broke his heart. He took one of her hands and placed it on his chest and then did the same with his own hand. Her heart pounded against his palm.

"Breath like me, baby. Nice and slowly in…." her free hand fisted at his shirt, anchoring her to him, "and out, slowly now, baby, I got you. Slowly, Becca, sweetheart." It took a couple of cycles before she was breathing regularly enough to let go of him, and another couple before she was able to speak. "I'll get you some water." He whispered once he was sure she was OK to leave for a moment. He kissed her forehead and let her rest. When he returned, he had water in one hand and champagne in the other. "Pick your poison, sweetheart." She took and downed the water and then took the champagne. He accepted a couple of chairs from a porter and guided her into the seat.

"Thank you. I can usually… I can usually stop them in time. I was just so angry, I couldn't focus." He took her hand and looked out at the view. "Why are you here, Ted?" Her voice cracked.

"Because I love you. And I'm sorry I wasn't brave enough to tell you before I left. Thank you for being the brave one."

"Fuck you for leaving. And thank you for coming home." She smiled over the edge of her glass, her heart rate recovering.

"Will you call off the 'Fuck You, Ted tour'?" She leaned in towards him, her eyes flicking down to his lips.

"Depends, will you call off being an oblivious fool?"

"Think I can probably work on that, yeah," he chuckled before wrapping a gentle hand around the back of her neck and pulling her into a kiss.

Rebecca Welton and Ted Lasso enjoyed the view at the Sky Gardens today at a leaving party for the Lionesses before they travel to Australia for the World Cup.

"Mom, look!" Henry pushed the article into Michelle's hands.

"It's about time, huh buddy?" She smiled.

~~~~~~

#ted lasso #tedbecca #tedlassoedit #ted and rebecca #rebecca welton #ted lasso fanfiction #rebecca x ted #ted lasso fic

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all-things-normaler · 8 months

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ok now give us YOUR Normaler headcanons

Haha! Now this sounds threatening... Let's see. I'm going to try and mention headcanons I haven't said before.

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1. I definitely believe that after the events of the movie, somehow Norma and The Onceler reunited and gave each other another chance. Even if there's the slimmest chance of not working it out, they have to be around each other a lot, mostly for the well-being of Ted!

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2. Now, back to the "past". I think Normaler is a lot like the main couple of Hairspray. Conventionally attractive skinny guy x adorable chubby girl! Norma has a lot of self-issues around her figure, and sometimes doesn't believe it when The Onceler says that he loves her the way she is, but when the anxiety stops spiking up... Norma finds it so refreshing and even soothing to find a guy like The Onceler to like her more than just her appearance.

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3. Norma constantly makes fun of The Onceler's country mannerisms. His speech, habits, etc. But it's not to mock him! She actually finds it adorable. She would often compare him to the attractive protagonists of country movies and say he's better.

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4. Norma has horrible reflexes, and by horrible I mean, amazing ones. One time The Onceler tried to playfully scare her and all he received in return was a punch in the face. Of course, she apologized after, but The Onceler essentially blamed himself for causing this event.

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5. Height difference comes with its perks and disadvantages. Norma once tried tickling The Onceler and it ended up wrong. His elbow hit her in the face. (I guess they're hand in hand now!) Seeing her tear up out of pain was too horrible. It's like stepping on your puppy's paw! He's never forgave himself for that.

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6. The Onceler is a playful asshole, so he often saw Norma struggling to reach something and instead of helping at first, he instead makes it go higher.

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7. Norma has the pants in the relationship, but this is common knowledge at this point, right? When Norma gets mad, it's like the whole planet is shaking and the ground is breaking. You do NOT want to make this woman mad. Even Onceler in his Greedler era was cautious and did his best to hide the mess he's done.

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8. Onceler loved to spoil Norma so much, and it's usually through food and serenades. When he turned rich, this translated through all sorts of items... clothes, perfumes, etc.

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9. One of Norma's biggest dreams was to travel the world, and The Onceler was once a traveler before arriving to Greenville, so they share that passion. They promised themselves to travel the world, especially after marriage, but that never became a thing after the events of the movie happened and Onceler isolated himself. Even without him, Norma never got to accomplish this, because then the wall around now-called "Thneedville" became a thing. Hopefully once they reunite as cute grandparents they get to fulfill that dream!

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10. Older Normaler are passionate more than ever about nature, and with the help of Audrey and Ted, they start this project about making a greenhouse! All sorts of flowers, fruits and vegetables are in there! Sometimes The Lorax visits.

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11. Norma likes to nickname The Onceler a lot... And it's not Oncie! From the classic "Once" we go to "cowboy" "country-boy" "rockstar", "daddy long-legs" and so on.

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12. Both of these idiots are incredibly strong. We've seen The Onceler in the movie, and a bit of Norma in her old age! Onceler used to underestimate Norma's strength due to her size (reasonable) but she constantly proves him wrong by tackling him to the ground and winning arm wrestlings with him always.

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13. The Onceler absolutely adores Norma's beauty mark.

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14. The Onceler has this habit of humming everything even without music, especially when concentrated and Norma thinks it's the sweetest thing.

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15. Piggybacks. Always. It started as a friendly request of Norma so she could reach for truffula fruit in the valley, but it ended up being more fun than expected.

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16. She's a dancer at heart. He's a musician, what's there more to say? Helen's actual love for disco is tied to them, and Helen used to attend a lot of roller disco events! Ted's skateboard skills and bike skills come from her... (Norma and Helen) And I like to think Ted is a bit of a tech/inventor genius, and that certainly comes from The Onceler.

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17. The Onceler has enough strength on his arm to make Norma casually hold herself with her legs and go down like a possum.

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18. I like to think that their attraction was accidental and that the tension just built up out of the fact they're very sarcastic, witty and awkward individuals.

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19. In any sort of ground that Norma can skate in, that's her main way of transportation around The Onceler to actually share the same speed! Those long legs are too fast! And Onceler, always, is so enamored of the way she gracefully swirls and moves.

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20. The Onceler at first had a really rough time with his money and food. So Norma a lot of times actually snuck out food out of the diner she worked at and had lunch and breakfast with him together. If she had extra money to actually buy something for herself (most money was to pay the bills and help her mother) she'd use it instead to buy cans and food for The Onceler. Seeing his happiness and well-being was the best she could've had at the moment. Momentarily, eventually The Onceler told her to stop doing this out of guilt of what he knew of her situation at home! Plus, the thneed business was going to soon boom in.

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21. The Onceler doesn't hate bell-bottoms for no reason. He had to witness Norma using them because they were all in and she tripped while rollerskating, and the results weren't pretty. Before that, he even considered wearing them, but then it turned into somewhat a very irrational hatred.

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22. And lastly... And this is more to finish this post in a nice number, I love to think THE song for these two is "Lovefool" by The Cardigans and "Wannabe" by Spice Girls.

#ask #the onceler #norma wiggins #normaler #headcanonsnormaler #norma x onceler

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