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mookymilksims · 2 months

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ULTIMATE Realistic Functional Shops Mods in The Sims 3 | Guide and Tutorial

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Hey, everyone! Back again with another in depth tutorial. From my poll, a Functional shops guide was second popular to Family Gameplay.

This guide isn't going to be as long, hopefully! And we don't really have many mods, at least nowhere near as many for the other guides I've done. This guide is pretty simple, and I'll show you in the video how to get everything set up. I picked the systems that are the easiest to set up, it's a combination of other simmer's processes, with my own tweaks for added convenience. I mainly focus on Aesthetic and Functionality, as nothing should take away from your immersion in game. So I feel like I've done my best to come up with these easier systems. I've been playing like this for years so I'm super excited to show you all how to make literally any shop functional in the sims 3!

So what I'm going to offer are many ideas to maintain the consistency and look of your lot without losing functionality of that lot.

We are going to try and keep this guide simple and to the point. This guide will include:

Store objects and how to install them.

Modded Objects - For functional stores and Fashion stores.

How to set up Functional grocery stores.

How to set up functional stores in general, minus Fashion stores.

How to Set up functional Fashion stores.

Fashion Lots you'll want to make.

How to combine the Fashion stores with Consort Dress Code mod.

Miscellanous functional mod objects and cc sets you can buy for your stores.

Store Objects and How to install them:

The first thing we are going to need are the actual store objects. I recommend getting all of them from here.

I also use these few ones from Blam's EA Store.

Chocolate fountain

Pet shop

Then you want to get these store fixes here.

I'm going to show you how to install them it is super easy.

All the store objects should go into your mods folder.

I recommend merging everything and backing up the individual files on another drive.

All store mods should also go in your mods folder.

This is your Overrides folder if you're not using CCmagic.

If you are using CCmagic then this is your Packages folder.

Now copy the CCmerged file from your mods folder and paste that file in your Documents > Electronic Arts > The Sims 3 > DCBackup folder.

Never remove it.

This is where the data for the store objects are stored, without them your game will throw you a lot of errors when attempting to use those store objects.

That's it!

Now we can move on to the fun mods that change your game in powerful ways.

Modded Objects for Functional Stores and Fashion Stores

Ani's Savvier Seller - This is what you will use for 95% of functional stores in your game.

Ani's ITF Stands - This is what you will use for the remaining 5% of functional stores, to be able to shop for new outfits.

Ani's Shop for clothes (MUST Have either this mod or ITF stands, cannot have both) - This is an alternative option for those who do not have ITF. You cannot have both in your game.

Ani's Ration Box - For our functional Grocery stores. This mod adds a scripted object where when placed in your inventory and opened, 10 random ingredients will be placed in your inventory and the donation box will disappear. This mod is also working with custom ingredients as well. So you will always get a random assortment of items. The items are cheap in game so you can buy multiple in one shopping trip and get a random assortment of 100+ ingredients in your inventory.

Kwimi's Ration Box Overrides - Download this is you want to use EVERYTHING in the ATS3 Grocery set.

My edit to Kwimi's overrides - Download this is you want my edit of Kwimi's overrides. I hid all of the single objects from the ATS3 set, as it wouldn't make sense to put them in my builds. You can ONLY have either my edit or Kwimi's overrides, pick one or the other.

My collection file for functional shops mods - Download this if you want to be able to find all of the modded objects we will be discussing in this guide, including the bulk objects from ATS3 grocery store.

ATS3 Grocery store set - If you download the full set, then get Kwimi's overrides. If you only download the bulk objects (x3, x4, etc) then get my edit of Kwimi's overrides. https://aroundthesims3.com/objects/room_downtown_24.shtml https://aroundthesims3.com/objects/room_downtown_25.shtml

ATS3 Savvier Seller Sets - You can download whatever you want from these sets.

Consort Dress Code Mod - For more dynamic attire in town. https://modthesims.info/d/477049/dresscode-by-consort.html

Transmogrifier - Allows you to copy the script (function) of an object and paste it onto another object.

How to Set-Up Functional Grocery Stores

First, I have to show you how to set up Savvier seller in general. It works the same as Savvy Seller store content, so this won't be a huge learning curve for you guys!

Place down a savvier seller surface on a community lot. This should be a lot sims will want to visit so you can call this a hangout lot.

Then a counter with a savvier seller register.

Now place an object on the SS surface.

Now leave Build/Buy mode, and stay in Paused mode.

Now you ctrl-shift click the SS register, name it w/e you'd like.

Now ctrl-shift click the SS surface and link it to the register that you just named.

Then enable restock from inventory and restock from buy mode.

This allows all objects you place on the surface to be restocked from the build/buy mode catalogue. This still works when you hide the objects from the catalogue as well.

You can now set the open and close times, mark up or down prices, employee, owner, etc.

You do not have to set an owner. You can make a random townie the owner, or yourself if you want to own your own functional store. The money will go into your sims inventory after every purchase. We will get more into that later.

NOTE: That NRAAS register won't assign a sim to these registers, which means you have to manually pick one. This can cause issues if you don't want a townie to use it. So I recommend creating a household of 8 savvier seller YA sims, you don't need 8 stores in your game, but this makes it really easy to find those sims when manning the stations, without sacrificing townies you actually want to interact with and see around town. Just make their last names Savvy, for convenience.

The savvier seller mod alone makes basically everything in your game buyable.

Flower shops, Weed shops, Arcades with functional prizes, Museum gift shops, Art stores, Furniture stores, Candy Stores, a new kind of bakery (that sells custom food cupcakes, etc instead)!

When I say everything I mean everything!

So now that you've got your new functional shop systems installed, and you know how to generally set it up, I'm going to show you how to make a functional Grocery store.

I used to go into the RH buy everything from the store, and individually set them up one by one on shelves, make the inventory items restoackable from the inventory then start shopping.

This was such a long process, and also broke my immersion because I did not want to see a peice of shrimp on a random shelf in a grocery aisle!

So with Kwimi's genius idea, she created overrides for ATS3 grocery store items. To be used along side Ani's Ration box mod.

This mod gives you a random selection of 10 ingredients in game, whenever you open it, you'll get a random assortment. This mod is compatible with custom ingredients as well!

So now, I can set up these items on grocery shelves, which looks more realistic for my build, and actually add ingredients to my sims inventory, whenever I choose to open the boxes.

In the video I also show you that I transmogrify the savvier seller ATS3 shelves into the Flirtyghoul shelves converted by Martasimbook, and it worked.

However, as Kwimi noted herself, us simmers still like to shop for specific items instead of randomly hoping for the right ingredient without entering the RH.

I'm going to try to alleviate this issue.

Start with creating a Deli section, for just the meats.

A seafood section, for just the fish.

Then use the Store fruit and veggie stand object for the produce section.

Now you can place all the meats you can buy from the Grocery RH on the SS surfaces in the meat section. Do the same for the seafood section.

You don't need to do any set up for the produce stands. The object will randomly refill it's own inventory every day with new produce options!

Now, whatever else you miss you can just buy the remainder from the RH itself.

Personally, I like shopping for things at random, I don't necassarily want that to be user directed, unless there is a special event, like Thanksgiving, so I have to buy a roast.

I like to imagine that everything isn't going to be available to me with the donations boxes and produce stand because it's sold out or not in season, etc.

I also like to imagine that my sim is shopping for what THEY want specifically, just like the townies are, without it being user directed.

NOTE: Combined with my ULTIMATE Realistic Food overhaul, there are still hundreds if not thousands of recipes I can put together in game with the ingredients that are randomly bought.

However, I can still specifically shop for certain meats and seafood which is what I'll more than likely want for most of the custom recipes I put together in game.

Although, with the meshes it's implied the ingredient was in the food, so you don't actually need them.

So this makes grocery stores so much more fun and less stressful to set up in game. It's a way less tedious process.

The result leaves the lot itself looking very realistic, so I don't have to sacrifice Aesthetic for functionality.

Which is what I really care about.

The best part is you can make pantries actually functional in your sim's home. By placing what you bought on the shelves, as the ingredients won't go bad until AFTER you open the box and the food is placed in your inventory.

You can also add custom snacks and foods to a storage unit in the pantry as well and take out whatever your sim wants to eat in between meals for that day. Try finding a close pantry object, and transmogrifying it into a storage chest from WA. You should now be able to click on the pantry to place or remove custom food you've bought out and about!

How to set up Functional Stores in General

All links will be at the end of the Guide with the Misc Script objects & cc sets section!

Now I will tell you how to go about other kinds of Functional shops in game.

For flower shops, I want to recommend the flower arranging mod. You can set up savvier seller with the bouqets you make, as well as cc plants. So if you want to own a flower shop, you actually have something pretty interactive to do during the day while your customers shop.

For furniture stores, you mainly want to focus on the Savvier Seller rugs and shelves. Shelves for misc decor, and rugs for furniture like couches, beds, kitchen sets, etc.

However, it's important to note that when you have a lot of cc, this option isn't exactly reasonable, so I typically like to set up

bed and mattress stores

vase and decor stores

children furniture stores

Appliance stores

This is much more manageable if you're like me and have a lot of cc. It makes shopping a lot more fluid for being able to actually put those products in my home from the buy mode family inventory (which is where all objects that can't go into your inventory will go).

Everything else that I get from the catalogue or collection folder's can be tossed in as something I ordered online.

Pro tip: Consider using StudioPap's moving boxes in the room until you actually put the room together. I always use them when moving in or out, and changing a room around like a sim aging up and needing a more mature room. You could also use savvier seller to immersively sell what you're not going to use anymore in a yard sale. Alternatively, moving all items you want to sell to your family invetory then using NRAAS Consigner selling them at a consignment register! The yard sale can be set up in a big park instead of your home lot for convenience. I love seeing the boxes and re-decorating that part of the room. It adds a very dynamic roleplay feature to my gameplay!

For Electronics stores, with Arsils custom phones and backpacks, you can actually replace the cellphone you are using by following the guide in game. Use the ATS3 purse set alongside the mod for more functional cell phones to buy!

So when buying cellphones at something like an Apple store this can actually be functional. You can also set up more computers, laptops, TV's, and the store object ipad as well.

For specific niche stores, consider the Sewing and knitting mod, with the patch version for both to work in game. You can set up a really pretty etsy shop, and just like with the flower shop, you can actually work at the store location and have an active career. Showing some love to our small business simmers out there!

For functional book stores, instead of the rh, just buy the books from the RH and place them on savvier seller surfaces. To get the best look I use this table for it, and a pile of books using OMSP, to make it look like your sim is randomly selecting a book from the pile.

For weed shops, you can now use the buds that come with MD Vile ventures mod, and set them up on savvier seller surfaces to sell them like that instead.

For beach shops you can use Arsil's sunglasses, and Ani's ITF stands for custom bikini's. TS spray tan and sunscreen mod.

For food stores, like bakeries and coffeeshops, you can use custom food from various places and ATS3 custom drinks, specifically the coffee's and energy drinks. Just set them up on savvier seller shelves and enjoy.

You can even make much more specific shops as well, like smoothie shops, sandwhich shops.

Liqour stores using Dina Dine and ATS3 liqour sets.

Tea shops, with ATS3 and Ani's tea sets. Don't forget the store tea set, and modded tea set without the table!

Toy stores, using various cc toys, and fidget spinner. Olomaya crayons, puzzles and coloring books.

For Makeup stores, consider Arsil's Lipstick mod, (you can also put this in a fashion store).You can also use PJ's Deodarant mod in these stores. And cc functional perfumes (must have glass blowing store object, but if you've been following this guide then you already have it).

For car dealerships, add the savvier seller car spot object and set up as many cars as you'd like to buy from. I like making at least 2 car shops. 1 is an expensive car dealership. Another is a junkyard where you can buy the cheaper cars.

For Bike Shops, this can be actual bikes and/or mopeds and motorcycles. Just place them on a savvier seller rug and recolor it to your liking.

Pro-tip: You can also make a semi-functional car mechanic shop by Transmogrifying the fixer upper car into the current car you own either on the car mechanic lot or on your home lot. Then binding a custom car mechanic career to the EA science career so they will actually interact with the car on that lot.

Some more items you can add to Grocery stores, PJ Bubble Bath, PJ card stand, PJ pet bowl, Olomaya's smoking mod for the cigarrette's and vape.

For Pet stores, you can add PJ pet bowl items, and various pet toys and furniture that came in pets.

I don't typically place the Graham's pet shop register on these lots, I'll use a pet pantry for those, with deco animals in their crates to simulate where you'd actually be getting the animals from.

For Art supply stores, Consider PJ painting supplies, Lyralei journal, Zoeoe's scribbling pad fixed, cc art easels, UNI sketchbook, street art kits, crayons from Olomaya and Arsil. And the drafting tables that came with Ambitions.

For Music Stores, Consider the ATS3 music store set, and selling actual instruments.

For the Movie theater, Consider selling custom snacks. Adding the store popcorn machine. Selling action figure dolls to buy after viewing the movie. And a claw machine, to win prizes for your date!

For Sex Shops, consider adding passion condoms, and sex toys that come with the mod. I also include deco vibrators and dildo's, fleshlights, etc, as something you can buy from savvier seller, they aren't functional but they imply things. The passion mod altogether makes this implied action functional, so it works out fine.

For convenience stores, to make them more functional you can add the petrol system mod gas stations, and refill your gas at these stores, you can also sell Arsils bag of chips and these variations, and arsil's gum. With various custom snacks and foods to eat.

You can make asian themed convenience stores as well.

For Sports Shops, this is completely seperate from the Gym lot. Consider TS Yoga mats, Olomaya's Get pumped items, The chin-up bar from showtime. Arsil's excercise bike. Treadmill. Strength training. The various basegame throwable items like the football, more items from this ATS3 set. And the punching bags with the same WA martial arts object script. Also, sell olomaya's healthy snacks on this lot as well, these items boost your workout routines.

And well, you get the gist! You can virtually make any store idea you have in game functional. You could even transmogrify cc surfaces from savvier seller surfaces in game instead for a much more cohesive look to your build. Keep in mind, this may not always work, but for the most part it does, just wanted to throw that disclaimer out there!

How to Set up Functional Fashion stores

But what about fashion stores? How do we make those functional?

Using Ani's ITF stands.

These add very intuitive ITF stands to your game where you and townies (when changing the xml settings) can shop from.

NOTE: You do need ITF for this to work, however, if you don't have ITF, Ani's shop for clothes mod will do just the trick. It's not as extensive as the ITF stands, but you'll still be able to shop for new outfits on community lots. I also believe the Shop for clothes mod is compatible with NRAAS Dresser, but the ITF stands mod is not.

This is because the ITF stands mod replaces the plan outfit interaction from the dressers in game which breaks some key components of NRAAS Dresser. With both mods installed I also wasn't able to save my new outfits, either. So learn from my mistakes.

The ITF stands mod increases the amount of outfits you can have per category, which was my favorite feature of the NRAAS Dresser mod, so when I read extensively what both mods changed I realized I didn't even need NRAAS Dresser anymore, anyway. So I personally like to give my active household 7 everyday outfits. I just change their outfit using the dresser in the morning before they leave the house.

You can open up Ani's ITF stands mod using S3PE, right click the xml file, open it up in notepad, and set autonomy to true, then save. So now townies will autonomously shop for new outfits in your game. This isn't as intrusive as you think. In my game, they will replace their outfits. I also notice that when they are shopping from a pedestal the same age and gender as them they will wear the custom outfit I set for that mannequin. So it's a fun way to auto style your town without having to individually change all the townies outfits yourself, sometimes I still will do this, but I catch the townies that haven't shopped for clothes by themselves yet, so it cuts down this work for me by a lot!

Performance tip: So I want to tell you guys a pro-tip that I figured out in my own playtest of the fashion stores. I tried to set up custom outfits for every age and gender in a store and my game consistently crashed everytime I tried to go back in game and continue the build.

This is because all of those cc outfits for all genders and ages overloaded the lot.

But I was able to make stores for the elderly, both genders, without crashing. A store for YA and Adult men. Same for YA and Adult Women. A store for Teens, sometimes I make two stores for both genders or split one store up with both genders. A store for kids, both genders.

This allowed me to add at least 8-10 ITF stands with custom cc outfits on each of these lots without crashing. This also led me to more optimized lots as since I'm only focusing on one specific theme and age group, the lot could be a lot smaller. One day I might do speedbuilds on this and upload it to the community.

Alternatively, if you want to add all the age groups and genders on one lot, consider only adding one of each, the best theme for this build would be a thrift store, which I've made several times in game myself without crashing.

Fashion Lots you'll want to make (I keep these around 20 x 20 lot size, they can fit basically anywhere in my worlds with very little issues): Just set these lots as visitors allowed. It'll push all kinds of sims to these lots randomly through out the day.

It's important to note that I won't create fashion stores for every age and every gender, for every outfit category. I mainly focus on the outfits and age groups that would bother me the most. I revamp all of my households before starting my gameplay, so I've given everyone in my world a default cc outfit to start with. The attire for ages I don't create lots for either wouldn't bother me at all if it were missing, or the age group is more manageable in the world population where I can change their attire right then and there on the spot. My CAS runs pretty fast considering how much CAS cc I have so I don't mind this process at all.

Everyday Wear: You can make 4 outfits each of the either the age groups or genders without crashing on the lot for everyday wear.

A store for the elderly, both genders. 4 men, 4 women.

A store for the men, YA-A. 4 YA, 4 A.

A store for the women, YA-A.

A store for teens. You can either make one for each gender, which makes 2 stores and 8 outfits. Or 1 store for teens in general, 4 female teen and 4 male teen outfits.

A store for kids, both genders or 2 stores for each gender.

Athletic Wear:

Sports shop. YA-A, both genders, 2 each. I'll put these on the same lots where I sell all the scripted objects.

The other ages don't bother me.

Sleepwear:

A store for the elderly and kids, both genders. 2 outfits for Elderly Female, 2 for male. 2 for female kids, 2 for male.

A loungerie store, Victoria's secret. For female YA-A.

A Nike or sneaker store. For male YA-A.

Other ages don't bother me.

Formal Wear:

A wedding store. For male and female YA-A, 2 each.

Other ages don't bother me.

Swimwear:

Beach shops. YA-A, both genders, 2 each.

Kid's Beach shops. Both genders, 2 each. I also include functional pool floats to this store for more fun.

Other ages don't bother me.

Outerwear: will typically only get it's own fashion store for vacation worlds. I love creating themed outfits to the mannequins for vacation worlds. I'll show you how I do this in the next section.

How to combine the Fashion stores with Consort Dress Code mod

Once you enable the autonomous interaction in the xml's of Ani's mod, townies will autonomously buy outfits from the mannequins. The townies will replace their ONE and only outfit in that category.

They will not create more outfits like you the player would. This is great news for optimization as too many outfits for each category on every sim in the world would create lag, and it wouldn't even be neccassary since townies can't autonomously change their outfit numbers for each category, anyway (NRAAS Dresser does this but it caused lag, that's how I know).

So, when they do shop for that outfit on the mannequin, it's only going to be one outfit and you will see them in that outfit for the rest of the savefile or until they shop from another mannequin with a different outfit.

This is where I use the seasonal lot marker to my advantage.

I place down the ITF stands for every season, I DO NOT place the stands down on the default setting, the objects will obviously conflict.

This means all I have to do is create seasonal outfits on the mannequins each new season, and within a couple of sim days you'll start to see random townies walking around with these outfits on.

This is why breaking the fashion stores down by gender and age really matters.

As, the townies will be wearing a bunch of different cc outfits you set up in the store instead of, for example, all elderly women wearing the same exact outfit.

Because I also use the Consort dress code mod, I need to leave some slots open to get the most out of my roleplay.

The dress code mod will automatically change the sims outfits to the outfit number for the category, but you will have to set that outfit up.

It's a pretty lightweight script, you shouldn't feel it in your performance, assuming you've optimized your game altogether.

Basic outfit numbers by Category:

Everyday Wear: 7 outfits (Mon-Sun), Townies get 1.

Athletic wear: 2 outfits (basic workout, ballerina/dancer), Townies get 2 (if they enter lot with dress code script).

Sleepwear: 2 outfits (Basic pajamas, towel set, sometimes a 3rd one for sexy loungerie), Townies get 2 (if dress code script is present).

Formal Wear: 2 outfits ( Fancy event, Party outfit), Townies get 2 (if they enter lot with dress code script).

Swimwear: 1 outfit, Townies get 1 outfit. I just change the bathing suit after 1 sim year if I get bored of seeing it.

Outerwear: 3 outfits (Winter, Summer/Spring, Fall), Townies get 3 (if dress code is present).

Career wear: 2 (work and school if present), Townies get 2, 1 is their actual work outfit and the second is if I need it for something like school.

Consort Dress Code mod rules I follow:

Whenever I place the dress code script on a lot I stick to these rules to get the most cohersive experience.

Career attire outfit #2 For teens and Kids is their school uniform if I set that up.

Athletic attire outfit #3 For teens and Kids is their school workout uniform if I set that up.

(This is why I left Athletic attire slot 3 open above)

Protip: You can use MC to copy the outfits for every sim the same gender and age as the sim you selected to speed this process up for schools!

Athletic Attire Outfit #2 For YA+ for dance studio's.

Formal attire outfit #1 For Adults in their banquet, fancy restaraunt attire.

Formal attire outfit #2 For Adults in their party outfit for dance clubs.

Formal attire outfit #3 For everyone, this is for funerals. I throw a general party in formal attire on an open graveyard RH lot with the dress code script on it. This is why I leave this outfit slot open.

Sleepwear attire Outfit #2 For everyone, using ATS3 towel set. I will also set these up in my residential bathrooms.

So this is how I optimized it altogether which gave me more dynamic variety with NPC's changing their looks.

Now let's talk about outerwear for Vacation worlds.

Camping world fashion store, Outerwear slot 2

Beach town Fashion store, Outerwear Slot 2

Snow world Fashion Store, Outerwear slot 1

France or Monte Vista, romantic get away kind of worlds, Outerwear Slot 3.

I leave these as the outerwear outfit slots because it's more manageable and easy to change since I only use 3 outfits in this category.

That way I won't ruin the everyday wear I've already set up for my active sims when they return back home, and I can easily change their outerwear again since it's only 3 outfits.

I can also switch up between the outerwear and everyday outfits when I'm out with my sims. My months last 28 days in game, but I will turn off aging and seasons to extend that season for an extra month or 2. So by the time the new season comes around, I'm excited and ready to go shopping for my sims new season wardrobe!

I also will use the consort dress code mod on many of the community lots in those vacation worlds so that all townies will typically look the part. Most of the time this won't be necassary as I have again already revamped those townies to fit the aethstic of the world.

I set these up on community lots like coffee houses, dive bars, shopping strips, movie theater, etc. It just gives me another way to see my townies in different outfits. You can also do this in Homeworld.

The only vacation worlds I won't have to do this are the snow worlds, christmas themed worlds, as townies will autonously change into their snow attire when outside anyway.

So, instead I make sure my townies are wearing winter themed outfits for the inside of community lots to make sure the whole aesthetic fits together.

Miscellanious Script OBJS & CC sets

Functional scripted objs that were recommended in this tutorial:

Fidget spinner

PJ Deodarant

PJ Bubble bath

PJ Card stands

PJ Painting supplies

PJ Pet Bowls

TS Spray tan

TS sunscreen

TS Yoga Mats

Olomaya's activity table

Olomaya's Coloring Book

Olomaya smoking mod

Olomaya Get pumped

Olomaya Family snacks

Passion mod condoms and strap-ons (On LL needs registration and I can't link it since I have hate watchers. Sorry!)

Flower Arranging Mod

Knitting

Sewing (don't forget the patch)

Arsils custom phones and backpacks

arsil's lipstick

arsil's sunglasses

MD Vile Ventures (Can't link it, I have hate watchers, sorry!)

Ani's Tea mod

Tea Set without table

Lyrlei Journal

Zoeoe Scribbling pad fix

Petrol Station

Arsil's Gum

Arsil's Bag of chips and variations.

CC Sets that were recommended in this Tutorial:

cc Perfume

Moving Day boxes

ATS3 Custom Drinks

DD sandwhiches

DD Beer

ATS3 functional liqour bottles

ATS3 Tea sets

More Functional Toys

ATS3 Music Store set

Asian Themed Conveniene store set

ATS3 Produce Set

Functional cc gas stations for the Petrol Mod

ATS3 Towel Set

ATS3 Sports set

Punching Bag

ATS3 What's in my bag.

#tutorials #tutorial #roleplay #ccfinds #ts3mods #Youtube

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works-of-fanfiction · 10 months

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The Love of Another - Part Two || Cillian Murphy x actress!Reader

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Summary: After meeting on the set of Peaky Blinders, Cillian and Y/N struggle to keep their relationship professional.

Warnings: Swearing, cheating, angst. Some (pretty cringe) fluff at the end.

Word Count: 5.7k

a/n: thank you so much for the lovely feedback on the first part of this! I haven’t written anything multi-part in literal years, but this was fun. some chunky sections of dialogue here, hopefully easy to follow! enjoy x

(Paul is Paul Anderson and Sophie is Sophie Rundle (if that wasn’t obvious already). Y/N’s character in the show is not canon/replacing any of the actresses, just feel free to use your imagination and slot her in somewhere! it is yourself after all.)

“Would you rather have Tommy teach you to ride a horse, or Arthur teach you to box?” The interviewer asked, smiling at the actress in front of her. Y/N chewed the inside of her cheek, tapping her knee as she thought about her answer. “That’s a hard one, because both could end up with me on the floor!” She joked, looking past the camera at the crew who were essentially getting paid to laugh at anything she said. “I have to go with Tommy on this one. It’s probably the least dangerous! Plus, who doesn’t love watching Cillian ride those horses?” The two women laughed together before swiftly moving onto the more serious questions about Y/N’s debut in the series. “I’d have gone with Arthur.” Y/N’s husband sneered, lowering the volume on the TV. Behind him she was sat at the table, re-reading the new scripts she’d been sent and familiarising herself with the lines.

“They pay me to say stuff like that, you know.” She declared casually, not bothering to look up from the page. He turned around and watched as she scribbled down some notes, mouthing words to herself quietly.

“They pay you to brown-nose Cillian?” He scoffed, leaning on the back cushion. Dropping her pencil with a sigh, she finally looked up with raised brows.

“Yes. Just like I got paid to brown-nose every other man I’ve worked with.” She quipped sarcastically, rolling her eyes, and twirling the pencil between her fingers. She waited for him to respond, but the snarky comeback never came. A smart choice on his part.

Despite her only having met Cillian once, her husband still had this bizarre idea that they’d spent every waking moment together during filming. Y/N had become too exhausted to argue about it. Her career and her future in Peaky Blinders was a lot more important than her husband’s petty jealousy, and she certainly wasn’t going to throw away the role of a lifetime because of him.

“Y/N… Your line.” The prompter called, waving the script in the air and tapping the page with her pen.

“Oh, sorry. Can we go from the top?” Y/N asked nervously, looking around at the crew that were becoming increasingly impatient. What was supposed to be a quick and simple scene was turning into an hour of do-overs with Y/N forgetting small details on every take. “I’m really sorry everyone.” She addressed the room, some mumbling back, others just rolling their eyes and whispering among themselves.

Stepping forward off his mark, Cillian turned to the director. “I think we can pick this up next week. Don’t you?” He asked quietly, eyes flitting to Y/N and back again. “Long day…”

“Alright. We’ll set up for this scene first thing Monday morning, but I want it finished and perfect by lunchtime.” He spun in his chair, ordering everyone to go home and rest up on their rare weekend off.

Sighing, Y/N tugged at her hair, freeing it from the clips holding it tightly in place. Paul patted her shoulder sympathetically before leaving set, shaking Cillian’s hand on the way out. Cillian sat down beside her quietly, waiting for everyone else to filter out. Once the room was empty, he scooted closer, slipping his hand in hers beneath the table. “I had it, Cill, I had it.”

“I know.” He soothed, stroking her knuckles with his thumb. “I did it for my sake, not yours. This suit is itching.” He joked lightly, pulling at his collar. Looking up, she felt a smile creeping onto her face. There he was, being cheesy, always trying to cheer her up.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s gotten into me.”

“I think the guest in your trailer might have something to do with it.”

Nodding, she looked down at their hands, at Cillian’s gentle fingers dancing along her veins. She thought about her husband; how he’d travelled all this way and spent the entire afternoon waiting for her. Yet here she was, comfortable in the arms of another man, betraying him for the thousandth time.

Cillian could see the cogs turning in her head. Forgetting to blink, she stared down at the tabletop, studying the cracks in the brown paint. He squeezed her hand softly, reminding her he was still there. “What are you thinking?” He whispered.

“I have to tell him, don’t I?” She asked, not really seeking an answer. For months she’d tried to plan a way to tell him, to come out with the truth and end her marriage for good, but she just couldn’t bring herself to do it. It wasn’t something she could do over the phone, but she also couldn’t bear to see him in person. She continued to pretend everything was OK, smiling through their FaceTime calls and sending love hearts whenever she couldn’t answer. ‘Couldn’t’ meaning when she was with Cillian.

“I don’t know how I’m going to do it, or when, or where, but I know I have to. I mean, it’s been a year already, and I think I just lost track of time but then – “

“Hey, hey.” Cillian grabbed her face gently, putting a pause to her rambling. “You don’t need to go making any grand declarations today.”

“If I leave it any longer, it’ll just make it worse.”

Y/N seemed to stare straight through him, her jaw tensing beneath his fingers. Part of him wished he could fix it for her, that he could go to her husband himself and tell him the truth to save her the burden. He feared how her husband could react, knowing he had a habit of getting jealous and suspicious whenever she got too friendly with a man. He knew he could handle it but wasn’t sure she’d be able to.

“Y/N!” A voice shouted from the entrance; it was Sophie, looking for her so she could drag her to her birthday night out. The pair separated, Cillian standing awkwardly. “There you are. Come with me, I’ve found the perfect dress for you to wear tonight!”

“I’ll leave you ladies to it.” He smiled, giving Y/N one last reassuring smile before leaving the building. The last thing Y/N wanted to do was go out, but she didn’t want the crew hating her even more after her earlier fiasco, so she dragged herself to the wardrobe department and let Sophie show her the dresses they were going to ‘borrow’ for the evening.

“A vision in red! Happy birthday, sweetheart.” Paul beamed, hugging Y/N tight as she joined the group, her husband in tow. Paul made the effort to greet him - the man lucky enough to steal Y/N’s heart - as he put it. She laughed along, the pang of guilt inside her chest doubling in size. He may’ve had occupancy of her heart once upon a time, but that space had since been filled by someone else, and that someone was currently sat in the corner looking as handsome as ever. Cillian raised his glass to her, smiling, his arm flexing in his t-shirt. She nodded back, the all-too-familiar rush of heat spreading up her neck and to her face.

It was the perfect night for it, considering the football match just a few miles down the road was keeping most of the city occupied for a couple of hours. Everyone chose to pack out the pubs, leaving the majority of the bars fairly empty and ideal for the star-studded crowd to hide out and enjoy their night. It wasn’t often they all stepped out together like this, but birthdays were an exception.

“Drink?” Y/N’s husband asked, throwing his arm over her shoulder. Leading her to the bar, he gushed about his conversation with the Arthur Shelby, and how much of a nice guy he was. She wondered if he’d speak so highly of Cillian, or if his strange vendetta would get the better of him. “Shots for the birthday girl?”

“Oh, not yet. Let me ease myself in.” She laughed weakly, drumming her fingers on the bar.

“Not even one?”

“Why? Are you trying to get me drunk?” She raised a brow, eliciting a chuckle from him.

“Well, you always were fun after a few drinks…” He purred, leaning down to press a kiss to her cheek. She grimaced at his words, but luckily he didn’t notice as he was too busy waving at the bartender.

He ordered, yelling obnoxiously over the music. Y/N’s eyes wandered across the back of the bar as she absentmindedly bobbed her head to the song playing, mouthing some of the words. “Oh, I’ll get these.” They both turned to see Cillian standing there with his hands tucked into his pockets, a friendly smile on his face.

“It’s alright, mate. I promised I’d get the birthday girl her first drink.” Her husband’s hold on her tightened as he spoke, his fake grin wide enough to blind a man.

Y/N stood there between the two men, her heart pounding as she felt Cillian’s stare on her face. He’d had good intentions coming over, wanting to keep an eye on her, but she wished he’d stayed put at his table. She already struggled to act normal around her husband, and her lover’s presence only made things ten times more difficult.

“Perhaps some shots then? My treat?” Cillian rested his arm on the bar, catching the attention of another bartender.

“She doesn’t want – “

“Shots sound great. Thanks, Cill – ian.” She stuttered, correcting the nickname before her husband noticed. He looked down at his wife, then back at the man beside her who calmly ordered, leaning over the bar so he didn’t have to shout. Funny how she suddenly agreed to shots when he was the one paying…

Cillian passed Y/N and her husband a shot each, and they downed the drinks together. She winced as it burned her throat, sticking out her tongue as she groaned. “Tequila! Are you trying to kill me?”

The Irishman laughed, nodding a last thank you across the bar. “Happy birthday, Y/N.” He smiled sincerely, giving her arm an affectionate squeeze. He left the bar, rejoining the cast and crew and instantly slotting himself into a conversation. She watched him fondly, almost forgetting about the man stood behind her. Stretching his arm over her shoulder, her husband placed the drink into her hand.

She turned and took a sip. “Thank you… Wait, you didn’t take your shot?” She asked, pointing at the full glass on the bar. He shook his head, taking a swig of his beer. “Why not?”

Swallowing with a loud ‘ah’, he shrugged, his expression blank. “I figured it was a moment to be shared between the two of you. Here. Why don’t you have mine?” He slid the shot towards her, tapping the rim of the glass twice. “Go on. It’s your birthday after all.”

“You’ve got some nerve. Can’t you go a day without starting this bloody argument?” She hissed, pushing the shot back to him. Some of it spilt over the edge, leaving a sticky sheen on the bar. “Drink it, and let’s go join my friends.”

“I wouldn’t drink it if you paid me to.” He leaned down to her level, trying to intimidate her, but it didn’t work. She wasn’t scared of him; she just saw him as a pathetic, jealous little boy. When he behaved like this, it made her wonder why she ever felt bad for cheating on him at all.

“Fine. You want to be a child? Then two can play that game, babe.” She spat, turning on her heels and heading towards Cillian. She slipped herself into the group between him and Sophie, linking arms with the woman on her left. “Which one of you is going to dance with me?”

“I thought you’d never ask!” Sophie squealed, taking Y/N’s drink. “Look after this, will you?” Thrusting it into Cillian’s free hand, she then dragged Y/N into the nearest space, throwing her arms in the air and whooping to the music. They joined hands and spun around like two girls in a playground, shouting the wrong lyrics to the song and giggling uncontrollably.

Y/N twirled around and set her sights on Cillian, beckoning him over with her finger. “I’m not dancing!” He laughed over the music, keeping a firm grip on their drinks. “I’m guarding your drink!”

“No, go on. It’s her birthday.” Her husband goaded, appearing behind Cillian. Y/N frowned as she watched the two men speak, unable to hear what they were saying. Sophie grabbed her and spun her around, putting her back to them.

“Shouldn’t it be you dancing with her?” Cillian asked innocently, gently placing the drinks on the table.

“Oh… I don’t think she’s my friend at the moment.”

Watching his wife dance, he got the sense he was losing her; that she was slipping away from him and there was nothing he could do to stop it. He’d noticed how Cillian watched her, that lovesick puppy dog smile pasted on his face and eyes following her every move. He had attended many an event with her past co-stars, and none of them had ever looked at her like that. To him, Cillian was showing off, gloating that he’d lured his wife away from him. He wanted to wipe the shit-eating grin off his face if it was the last thing he ever did.

Y/N stumbled out of Sophie’s grasp, dizzily making her way back to the table. “Everything alright?” She asked, out of breath and reaching for her drink. “It’s a workout dancing with her.”

“Don’t you worry, love. Everything’s fine. I was just talking to Cillian here about you. About the two of you, I mean.” Sniggering behind his glass, he gulped down the remainder of his beer and wiped his mouth, clearing his throat. Cillian’s face contorted in confusion, his fingers gripping the edge of the table, toes curling inside his shoes out of frustration.

“What’s he said to you?” She asked, directing her question to Cillian. He opened his mouth to speak, only to be rudely interrupted.

“So quick to jump to his defence.”

“We’re not doing this here.” Y/N snapped, dropping her glass with a thud. “You are not showing me up in front of my colleagues, my friends.”

“Pick a place then, love. It won’t make a fucking difference.” Her husband could be nasty when need be, but she wasn’t about to stand and take it, especially not with an audience.

“Right - “ Cillian started, cut off by Y/N barging past them both and towards the doors. This caught the attention of her cast mates, which Cillian quickly fed a lie to before speeding after her.

He found her outside, stood against the wall and hunched over, hands clutching her knees. “Y/N, I’m so sor - “

“Cillian, don’t you dare apologise for his behaviour. Do you hear me?” Her voice shook as she spoke, the sudden rush of anger overwhelming her. She slid down the wall, sitting on the pavement, her exposed shoulders flat against the cold bricks. “Who does he think he is? Acting like that in front of everyone? I could lose my fucking job.”

“You wouldn’t lose - “

“Yes, Cillian. I would. If the studio… If the writers found out about this - “

“They won’t.” He asserted, kneeling down so they were on the same level. “They won’t.”

She took a few deep breaths, Cillian’s presence calming her down as he crouched opposite her, his fingers resting lightly on her knees. “You know, for months I have felt like the worst human being in the world. Looking at myself in the mirror and seeing the cheat staring back, the lousy fucking cheat.”

“So, you’re not perfect. You’ve done some, admittedly not great things, but I don’t think anyone in there would blame you.”

“Somehow I don’t think they’d praise me for fucking my co-star behind my husband’s back.” She scoffed, rolling her eyes and rubbing her temple with her fingertips. “God, I’m sorry, Cillian. I’m not trying to… You’re so much more than that, I – “

“It’s alright. You’re upset… And I can handle whatever you throw at me.” He joked, reaching out to pinch her chin.

Hearing the doors swing open, the two flinched, Cillian rising from the ground instinctively. “Well, isn’t this cosy?” Y/N’s husband drawled, sauntering towards them. “So… I was right, yeah? You and him?” He pointed between them, his words directed at Y/N.

“Please…”

“Just answer me. Put me out of my God damn misery.” He threw his arms in the air in defeat, letting them fall to his sides, hitting his thighs with a loud slap.

Pressing her palms against the ground, Y/N pushed herself up, adjusting her dress as she steadied her feet. She approached her husband, and Cillian put his arm out to try and hold her back. “It’s OK, Cill.” She stood looking up at the man she once loved, her hands balled into fists at her side, thumbs picking at the fabric clinging to her legs. “You’re right. You figured it out.”

He exhaled a laugh, kissing his teeth. “I knew it.” Turning away, he ran his hands through his hair, looking up to the sky and sighing deeply. “How long?” He looked back, hands on his hips and brows furrowed. “Y/N, how long?”

“Since my twenty-ninth birthday…” She said shyly, realising just how much worse that made everything look. It had been exactly a year, pretty much to the hour, that she’d shared the first kiss with Cillian that started it all.

“You’ve got to be kidding me. Well, I am sorry for interrupting your little anniversary night…” Exasperated, he took a deep breath and exhaled the air with puffed cheeks. “You know what? You are not the woman I married.” He pointed his finger in her face, but she didn’t react. Folding her arms over her chest, she stepped back until she felt Cillian against her, his hands supporting her upper arms. He whispered comforting words into her ear and her eyes began to water as she continued to stare at her husband, distant and unblinking.

Silence fell upon them, and Y/N expected more to be said, but was surprised to witness her husband turn and walk away. Anything else he had left to say was muttered under his breath as he disappeared around the corner. She and Cillian waited a few seconds to see if he would come back, but the street stayed unusually empty and quiet. “It’s alright. He’s gone.” Cillian whispered, and she spun in his arms, clinging onto him desperately.

Her thoughts felt like they were drowning in a whirlpool, like she couldn’t take control of them no matter how hard she tried. The heaviness in her heart had dissipated, but the ache in her stomach and throbbing in her head persisted. “Can we get out of here, please?” She begged, her head buried in Cillian’s chest.

“Shall I tell the others we’re leaving?”

“Just leave it. Please, can we just go?” Her voice cracked as her hold on him tightened, pieces of his shirt screwed up between her fingers.

“Alright. Let’s go.”

Lying on the bed, Y/N stared at the ceiling, her fingers ghosting over Cillian’s as he laid beside her. A strange mixture of relief and dread washed over her body, making her feel weak yet incredibly alive at the same time. She wanted to jump up and down, to declare her feelings for Cillian from the highest rooftop she could find. However, another part of her wanted to hide, to burrow under the covers like a scared child until it was safe to come out. She was too afraid to check her phone; it was probably already blowing up with messages from her family and friends.

How could you?

Who was there for you when you were starting out? Did the fame get to your head?

He’s heartbroken! You should be ashamed.

The mere thought of it all made her head spin, and it was far easier to leave her phone on do not disturb and pretend no one else existed for a moment. Her thoughts felt so loud, and she wondered if they both held their breaths for a moment, would Cillian be able to hear the gears twisting and turning inside her brain? Or the steam coming out of her ears?

“Some birthday this was.” She sighed, closing her eyes and shaking her head. “Am I supposed to feel bad? Like… Is this the point where I’m supposed to cry and scream about how terrible of a person I am?”

“You can if you want to.” Cillian turned his head to the left, and she looked over at the same time, their eyes meeting in the middle.

“No… I mean, it’s not that I don’t want to. I just can’t. I don’t feel bad, not anymore. Is that horrible?”

“How do you feel?”

This was a new feeling for Y/N, for the both of them in fact. Throughout their relationship they’d spoken about everything from their favourite albums to their very particular pet peeves. They’d even spent a whole night debating the existence of aliens, sitting out on the balcony of a hotel room and bickering with each other beneath the stars. The thing they hadn’t really spoken about were their feelings, including their feelings for each other. Those three fateful words were still dangling from the tip of Cillian’s tongue, and there was so much Y/N wanted to say in return.

“I feel… Relieved. I feel free.” Clasping her hands together, she tucked them under her head. “That’s awful to admit, isn’t it?”

“It’s better than pretending.” He rubbed her shoulder soothingly, his thumb slipping beneath the strap of her dress. “Paul was right, you are a vision in red.”

Y/N giggled, swatting his hand away and adjusting the strap. “You are such a flirt!”

They stayed looking at each other, studying each other’s faces as if there was something new to see. Y/N counted the little flecks in Cillian’s bright blue eyes, watching his pupils twitch and change sizes with every few blinks. He added up the freckles on her face, imagining how they’d look if they were connected like tiny constellations across her cheeks. He smiled to himself, his tongue poking out to swipe across his bottom lip. “What?” She asked, eyes squinting with playful suspicion.

“Nothing. It’s nothing.” His voice was gentle and quiet, barely reaching above a whisper. It wasn’t necessary in the room they were in. Not a single sound could be heard around them, except for their breathing and bodies shuffling against the sheets. He swallowed his words, assuming that perhaps she wasn’t ready to hear them. It had only been an hour since she confessed to her husband in the street, and he didn’t want to overwhelm her with a big declaration of love. He’d know when the time was right, he was sure of it.

Rolling off the bed, Y/N pressed a kiss to Cillian’s forehead and went to take a shower. Whilst she was gone, he looked around the bedroom, spotting various bits of his belongings scattered from the many times he’d stayed over. Filming for the series was almost complete, and it would soon be time for them to pack up their rentals and head home, wherever that may be. He thought about how things might change now that they technically didn’t have to sneak around anymore. Would people start to notice? Would they be victims of some derogatory Daily Mail headline by morning?

Returning in a towel, Y/N sat on the edge of the bed, combing through her damp hair in the mirror. Cillian knelt behind her, balancing on the mattress as he ducked his head down to press a soft kiss to her shoulder. “I’m sorry you didn’t get the birthday you deserve.” He murmured against her skin. She closed her eyes and hummed, enjoying the feeling of his lips moving across her shoulder blade.

“I think it was exactly what I deserved.” She whispered, turning her head to catch a glimpse of him. Resting his chin on her shoulder, he gazed up at her through his lashes.

“There’s still just under two hours left of it. Do you think we can turn it around?”

“What do you suggest?”

Cillian scrambled to his feet, hitting the carpet with a clumsy thud. Clicking his fingers, he pointed to Y/N, a goofy smile on his face. “You still have that wine in the fridge?”

“You really trust me to drink wine after last time?” She raised a brow then mimed throwing up, clutching her stomach with her arm. “After last time…” She fake gagged, making him grimace.

“OK, OK! Bad idea!”

He stood with one hand on his hip, the other raking through his hair. Cocking her head to the side, Y/N admired the view in front of her, pinching her bottom lip with her teeth. There was something oddly appealing about Cillian in regular clothes with the signature Tommy Shelby haircut. He wore a crisp white t-shirt with dark jeans, which just happened to be one of her favourite looks on him. It was simple, yet he somehow made it the most attractive thing she’d ever laid eyes on. Her eyes followed the trail of his veins down his forearm, where they reached the hand that sat just above his waistband.

“I’m gonna be honest, that was my only idea.” He laughed, resting his cheek in his hand.

“Cillian…” She said softly, shuffling to the edge of the mattress. “Come here.”

As he approached, she parted her legs, giving him enough room to stand between them. Placing his hands on her shoulders, he looked down, his eyes meeting hers. She looked so beautiful like this; just wearing a towel with unruly wet strands of hair stuck to the sides of her face. Her cheeks blushed a light pink, decorated in a couple of stray droplets of water from the shower.

“Closer.” She whispered, reaching up to grab his shirt. He lifted his knee and rested it on the mattress beside her, using his hands as support as he hovered over her, lowering her until she was laid on her back.

“Is this close enough?” He breathed, his palms flat on either side of her head.

“Almost…”

He lowered himself further as if he was performing a press-up, using the strength in his wrists to steady himself above her. “This will do.” She smiled, bringing her lips to meet his.

Dropping to his elbows, Cillian weaved his hands into her hair, tugging gently at the root. She moaned softly into his mouth, arching her back to inch herself closer to him and press their chests together. He groaned, a shiver coursing through his body as the towel around her dampened his shirt.

Pulling away from the kiss, they each opened their eyes and gazed at the other, panting quietly with heat-flushed cheeks and swollen lips. Their faces were just close enough to still be able to see one another properly without their vision blurring. Y/N sighed, her forefinger tracing the curve of his cheekbone. “Are you OK?” Cillian asked, running the pad of his thumb along her bottom lip.

“Yeah, I just…” She couldn’t concentrate with his fingers under her chin, featherlight and careful across her skin. Blinking slowly, she relaxed into his touch, relishing in the feeling of the goosebumps that prickled her cheeks.

“We can stop if you want.”

“No, no. That’s not what I want. Quite the opposite, actually.” Her words weren’t exactly a lie, but they didn’t seem to match the look on her face.

Worried, he flipped onto his side and laid next to her, his right hand finding a loose piece of thread hanging from the towel and twisting it around his finger. “If you need a bit of space for a while – “

“No, Cillian. Please don’t say that.”

“Alright, I’m sorry…”

“I just don’t know what happens next. Am I supposed to announce it to everyone? Do I file for divorce on Monday? How does this all work?” She laughed slightly, mostly at herself for being so clueless. “I think telling everyone my marriage is over will be the easy part. How do I tell them about us?”

“Well, the divorce stuff can wait for a bit. You don’t need to rush into anything.” He patted the bed, searching for her hand. She turned her palm upwards, letting his slide over the top and their fingers entwine. “As for telling anyone…”

“What?” She rolled onto her side, mirroring his position. “Do you think we should tell people?”

“I was going to say, is there really any need in telling anyone yet? I mean, we’ve kept it between the two of us for this long already and – “

“Yes, but that was because we didn’t have a choice.”

“I know... but just think about it. I think it would be weirder if we charged into work next week and announced it to everyone.”

She stared at a crease in Cillian’s shirt, daydreaming about how things were going to be. He was right. They didn’t need to shout about it, and Y/N certainly didn’t want to draw any attention to herself just yet. She already knew what people were going to think of her and label her as, and she wanted to delay the backlash for as long as possible; whether her husband was going to allow that was another story…

Cillian opened his arms for her, scooting higher onto the bed so his feet were no longer dangling off the edge. She followed, snuggling into him and tangling her legs with his. The silence between them was heavy, like there were a million words going unsaid. Y/N knew that Cillian was everything she wanted, but a small part of her worried about what would happen to her husband. Being married to someone for four years was going to leave a stamp on her forever, but she sincerely hoped he’d be OK, and that he wouldn’t try to inflict a war on her and Cillian. She knew in time that things would smooth themselves out and feel normal, but for now, she was content to sit in her little confusing bubble, just as long as Cillian was in it with her.

“Cill?”

“Mhm?”

“When we met earlier in wardrobe, and I spotted that box, what was in it?” She smiled sweetly, batting her eyelashes.

“You really wanna know?” She nodded. “OK… Well, that box wasn’t actually for you.”

“What?”

“I don’t know what was in it! It was already there.”

“Cillian!” She slapped his chest playfully and he huffed, feigning hurt. “Why did you say it was for me?”

“Technically, I didn’t! You just assumed.” He laughed, watching her cheeks redden and brows knit together. “Don’t look so disappointed! Listen, I’ll make it up to you tomorrow when I give, or rather take you to your real present.”

“Now I’m intrigued.”

“That’s all I’m saying! I’m not going to spoil it.”

“Fine…” He hugged her tightly, inhaling the scent of her shampoo. She listened to his heartbeat, counting the thumps in sets of eight. Looking up from his chest, she was surprised to see him already looking at her. “What about my other present?” She whispered.

“What do you – Oh, right. That.”

She sat up, kneeling beside him so she could see him better. He rotated onto his back, folding his arms across his chest, and tucking his hands under his arms. “Y/N – “

“No, wait!” She turned her head, fixing her messy hair and readjusting the towel around her body. Turning back with a flip of her hair and a dramatic flailing of her arms, she gestured for him to sit up.

“What are you doing?”

Awkwardly crawling closer on her knees, she ran the back of her hand over his cheek, leaving it to rest below his jaw. “Cillian.”

“Y/N.” He chuckled, and she immediately hushed him. She tried her best to be serious, but laughter threatened to burst out of her. “Whatever you’re doing, please get on with it because you’re freaking me ou – “

“Here it comes…” She spoke in her best attempt at an Irish accent, cringing at herself.

“Oh for Christ’s sake.” He threw his head back, belly laughing, and she grabbed him by his shirt to pull him back. Composing himself, he bit his cheeks to refrain from laughing any more. “Sorry… Go on.”

“I love you.”

He was silent, staring at her as he ran his fingers along his upper lip nervously. He knew it was coming, yet it still caught him by surprise, hearing those words come out of her mouth. He’d heard her say them plenty of times when they were in character, but this was different. They sounded so sweet when they finally meant something, and feeling her eyes on him made his heart pound in his chest. “Too cheesy?” Y/N asked, dropping the terrible accent.

“Cheesy, but I liked it.”

Sitting down cross-legged, she reached her hand out for him which he gladly took. He kissed her knuckles softly, keeping his lips there as he looked up at her. “I love you too.” He confessed. Both their bodies seemed to slump as if a weight they’d been carrying had been lifted, and despite everything that had happened, or rather gone wrong, that night, this moment felt right. He kissed her again, before slotting his fingers between hers and giving her hand a gentle squeeze. “And we’re going to be OK.”

#cillian murphy x reader #cillian murphy oneshot #peaky blinders #cillian murphy

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ssavaart · 5 months

Note

Hey Scott!

Love you and your art tutorials. Really a big fan, you got me into painting again when I couldn't get out of bed due to depression. I love watercolor!

You being an idol of mine, I checked out your movie, Animal Crackers.... I don't know if you intended it to be that way... but I did feel uncomfortable over your representation of Roma people. As a Spanish partial Romani myself I was just surprised to see those stereotypes of mystic, over-sexualised fortune tellers. We have so much more in our culture! I'm pretty young myself but even at the time this movie came out I understood it wasn't the best take.

I'm not here to critique you. But I did use to see you as a role model. I try to separate that from the rest of the movie, and your past art from you as a person but its hard because otherwise, I know you are in favor of good representation. Could you please address this? Use it as an opportunity for growth? Acknowledge it used a slur?

I just want my rose tinted glasses back.

Love, Yair.

Hi Yair! Thank you so much for the lovely message. I'm so happy my videos helped you in any way. Regarding Animal Crackers. Thank you for asking. When I wrote the graphic novel for my 5 year olds back in 2008... the term "Gypsy" was commonly used for "wanderers with a hint of magic" in books, tv, and movies and it wasn't considered a derogatory term for Roma people. Not generally. I thought this to be true when I wrote the script in 2011. I thought this to be true when I made the film in 2014.

But when the film came out... I started to see comments on twitter and instagram and facebook with people calling the film "racist" for using the term Gypsy so much.

It was at this time in the fall of 2020 that I learned of the significance of this word and how it was used as a derogatory term for the Roma people. While it was not done intentionally, I take full responsibility for this. I wrote it. I had the actors use the words. I was the one who put it in the movie. The blame is completely on me and my ignorance. And I am truly sorry. Shortly after this, I reached out to the European Roma Rights Centre and got on a call with them and we discussed the history of the Roma people and how (if I get a chance to make a sequel) I can educate the world about the Roma people and how hurtful the term "Gypsy" is to them. I can't undo any harm I may have caused in my movie, but, hopefully, I can make some amends with a sequel, working with the European Roma Rights Centre to portray the Roma people in a positive light, and educating people on how harmful stereotypes can be.

Thanks again for asking

Sending Big Hugs from the Hobbit Hole. ♥♥♥

Scott

#roma #gypsy #romani #animal crackers #netflix #animal crackers netflix

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impala-dreamer · 5 days

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Meet Me At The Beach

A Supernatural Story

~ Texting and emails can feel so impersonal. There's nothing quite like exchanging tangible, handwritten letters with someone you love...~

Dean Winchester x F!Reader, Sam Winchester

4,025 Words

Warnings: Bittersweet Angst. SFW.

A/N: This is for @jacklesversebingo "Writing Letters To Each Other" was the prompt. I hope you enjoy...

June 2

Dear Dean,

This feels so weird. Do people really write letters anymore? Am I going to get strange looks at the post office when I go to buy a stamp? Will they even know what to do with this tiny envelope and folded piece of loose-leaf paper? I almost don’t know how to write anymore. My script looks kinda like chicken scratch, huh? Hopefully it’ll get better. It is weird not typing though. But emails just seem like work. Impersonal, ya know? Besides, it gives us something to look forward to when we hit the mailbox. Nice to open something that’s not a delinquent credit card bill, huh?

Speaking of which- how the fuck do you do it? I just got another card canceled. My credit is non-existent. Fuck, I need to get a job. Could you imagine me in an office? High heels and panty hose and my hair tucked into a neat, matronly bun? I shudder to think!

OK, this is weird. I just wanted to write “LOL” but it’s not an email. Or a text. Why are we doing this again? Oh, yeah, see above.

Anyhoo- - - - I don’t even know what to say! Umm… I’m in New Orleans for a bit. Not working, just hanging out. My friend Emily from high school tracked me down online and we’ve been chatty. She’s in a band. They’re not bad. Not great, but not bad. So yeah, I took a drive down to see a show and I’m just lingering. Drinking too much, sleeping past noon. It’s fun. Nice little vacation.

Which - ahem - you should be taking. When are you gonna get your ass out of that dusty old bunker and stick your toes in the sand? I already told you I’d meet you in Pensacola with sunscreen and a cooler of beer. You know you want to. Or are you just scared to show off your ugly toes in flip flops? Your boots might actually cry if you ever took them off, so I guess it’s just as well.

Hey, do you remember that night in Richmond when it started pouring and your boots sank into the mud puddle? God, that was a mess. We were soaked to the bone. Nice way to warm up, though - cuddled in the back of the Impala. I miss that car. Sometimes, I think I can hear it at night when the world is quiet and the wind is still. It’s like the engine roars in the back of my mind and I start thinking about all our adventures, all the time we spent driving into the sunset.

I miss you. Is that wrong? I probably shouldn’t. Or at least, I shouldn’t tell you that I do. But I do. I miss you so bad sometimes that it hurts. Like someone has punched me right in the chest. Maybe we can end up in the same town soon. Grab some tacos and sit on the hood. Make a mess. I’d like that.

OK, before I get too emotional and start asking you to run away with me, I think I’ll end this ranting scribble of horrid handwriting.

Write me back soon.

Love, Y/N

June 21

Y/N-

Your handwriting does not look like chicken scratch. I like it. Mine is like some toddler just learning his letters. Whatever. I never learned that fancy shit. I can sign my name and make a grocery list. That’s all I need.

This is weird, yeah. But it’s kinda nice. Feels more… like you’re here. Does that make sense? Like seeing your handwriting, the dents in the paper- I don’t know. Just feels more real. Like you’re not just some computer talking back at me. Also there’s something strange about answering questions weeks later. I meant to write this sooner, but I got a little distracted. There was a Kung Fu marathon on and I just lost track of time. Too much pizza, not enough Carradine. Ya know? You know.

Remember that horrible motel in Raleigh when we both caught that nasty stomach bug and stayed up all night watching old tv shows? Saltines and Little House. I’ll never forget it. You were so sick that day. Shit, I was sure I was gonna end up taking you to the hospital. Sure, I was puking too, but you looked like death. I hated that. Hated that I couldn’t help you, make you feel better. I did cook up a mean chicken noodle soup though, didn’t I? Not that it stayed down for long.

Thank god for that yellow Gatorade. And yes- it’s fucking yellow. Not green.

Anyway- I miss you too. I try not to, I really do. Not all the time, no offense, but sometimes I’m just fucking insane with shit going on. But at night, especially, I miss having you beside me. I miss rolling over and seeing you there, or hearing you snore. I miss feeling your freezing feet under the blanket. I don’t know, I just-

What can I say? I’m sorry. I’m an asshole. I’m the biggest piece of shit in the universe. I shouldn’t have pushed you away.

Can’t change the past. Just gotta move on.

Maybe someday you’ll forgive me. I hope so anyway.

I’m sorry. I shouldn’t dump that all out in a letter. I almost ripped this all up and started over. I actually let it sit for a day before I came back to it. But, fuck it- we said we were gonna write to each other and be honest, and here I am, being honest.

Fuck, I’m so tired. That kinda tired when sleeping for ten days wouldn’t even put a dent in it. Yeah, OK, so things are getting a little better. Chuck’s gone for good this time. Jack’s got things back in place, even made a few improvements. Sam’s- well, he’s Sam. He’s fine, doing his thing. The dog is- did I tell you we have a dog now? Yeah, I know. Me and a dog- yeah right. But we do. Miracle. He’s a good boy. I’ll send you a picture soon.

Never thought I could slow down like this. Feels like for the first time we can just - work. I mean, I’m never gonna give up hunting, not totally, but- feels like I could just ease back a bit. Been looking at some jobs in town- nothing crazy, fixing engines and stuff like that. Don’t know if you remember, but I’m pretty good with my hands.

Did you blush?

You did.

OK. I guess- that’s it for now. I have no fucking idea how to end this so - bye?

~ Dean

P.S. I’ll meet you at the beach soon. I promise.

Fifteenth of July

To Whom It May Concern:

Re: Beach Vacation

Dear Mr. Winchester,

I am very pleased to hear that you are agreeable to meeting me at the beach. It should be delightful fun to run through the surf and hunt for sea glass with you.

Oh shit! Do you remember that new age shop in… where the fuck was that? With the sea glass necklaces in the window that I said were so pretty and the witch inside said they were blessed to give the wearer riches or some shit like that. Where was that? Who knows.

Feels like we’ve been all over the world together. Well, this country at least. Lord knows I could never get you on an airplane. If only you could drive to Paris. Did I ever tell you about my trip to France? God, it was beautiful. Rained the whole time, but it was this beautiful, warm spring rain that made everything smell like dust and petals. Not rose petals, but those little white ones that grow on trees, ya know? It was so beautiful. Fuck it. I’m taking you one day. You need to see more than the dash of your car and the backroads of America. Time to travel!

Speaking of- I’m glad you’re slowing down a bit. I know that won’t be easy for you but if you think about it, you’ve spent the last forty years running from problem to problem like a damned bomb-sniffing dog.

A DOG?! Dean Winchester, I never thought the day would come. I can’t wait to see a picture. Don’t forget it next time.

I think you’d be a great mechanic. It was always very hot seeing you covered in sweat and grease especially if you had those damned coveralls on. I mean… what? I don’t think about you like that anymore, you know. It’s over and done with and we’re just friends. We are friends, aren’t we? Maybe something more than friends, I guess. Ex lovers? Ew. I hate that word. Lovers. So gross. Well, then what are we? Just two souls swimming in a fish bowl…

Year after year. Day after day. Do you know that I put nearly a hundred thousand miles on my poor truck this year? Back and forth, up and down the country. I don’t have to tell you how exhausting it is. Fun, but exhausting. Rewarding, but not. I wonder how many people remember me after I leave? Does that family in New Haven think about me whenever they go into the basement and it’s no longer haunted? Is there a photo of me on a fridge in Wilmington where I saved that guy’s fiance from the vamp nest? Probably not. I’m sure people remember you - The Great Dean Winchester. The sexy hunter with the green eyes and the giant black car. You’re hard to forget. Also, you hang out with a giant. Tell Sam I said hi.

I do remember that puke fest! And it’s green. It’s literally neon green. Fight me.

We could probably write a book, you and me. ‘Winchester & Y/L/N Do America’. It’s a coffee table book with pictures of random diner signs and gas station bathrooms. Maybe a list of the country’s best french fry places. Shit like that. Let’s do it. I’ll call my literary agent in the morning. Ha!

SPARTA!! That’s where that damned sea glass shop was. It just hit me! Stupid brain. I swear, I’ve been hit in the head way too many times. Broken too many bones. I’m getting too old for this shit. Did you know that my left knee pops whenever I stand up now? Like, how old am I?? I can’t stand it. I need a month at a spa somewhere in the desert. That’d be nice.

Damnit. I just got a call from Vinnie Alverez. Do you know him? Hunter out of Pittsburg. Anyway- he needs help on a job. Guess I’ll cut this letter short. Hopefully I’ll find a box to drop this in on the way to PA!

Miss you.

Sincerely yours,

Y/N

P.S. - I do forgive you, Dean. Of course I do. Things were just too hard back then. Life didn’t want to cooperate for us. It’s not your fault. Not my fault. It just was. Please don’t carry that guilt in your heart. You deserve better than that.

August 2

Dear Y/N-

You’re a real character, you know that? Love the corporate letter. I’m in for the book by the way. Could be awesome. We do need a full chapter on onion rings though. Make a note.

I heard about your hunt in Pittsburgh. Came through the grapevine that you kicked some serious wolf ass. Nice job, kid. Hope you’re being careful. I know how bullheaded and impulsive you can get when you’re in the zone. Just watch your back, OK? Promise me. Last thing I wanna hear is that you got your heart clawed out or you’re walking around with a demon in your ass.

Demons. Haven’t seen so many running around lately. Queen Rowena’s been keeping them in check. So fucking weird that she’s in charge now. Not that I’m surprised- she’s a badass bitch. If I had a nickel for every ruler of hell I was friends with, I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice. The kids still say that, don’t they? See, I’m not old. I keep up with pop culture and shit. Started watching the tik toks. I still don’t get it, but I like the woodturning stuff. Thinking about taking up whittling. Maybe carve you a keychain so you stop losing them.

I got a call for a job interview. Chickened out though. I don’t know if I’m ready to start all that, ya know? Start a real life in the real world- just seems- I don’t know, scary. Yeah, I’ve faced every deadly thing on this and other worlds but the idea of getting a 9 to 5 civilian job scares me. I’m some kinda fucked up, huh?

I think about it a lot though. Getting a job, finding a little house somewhere, settling down. A little fenced in yard so Miracle can run around and dig up dirt. Might put a rocking chair on the porch and watch the clouds, some shit like that. Would you come visit me in my Barbie dream house? I’ll cook you breakfast every morning and you can rub my feet at night. Real cozy couple stuff.

OK, so maybe I’m thinking about you more and more these days. Maybe I’m regretting leaving. Maybe I’m just an idiot daydreaming about meeting you somewhere in the middle and sweeping you off your feet. One of those running hugs that hurts when you collide but ends in a kiss that makes everything feel better. I’m a real romantic fuck, huh? I was digging through my drawers yesterday and I found a pair of your socks. Those tiny ones that barely covered your ankle. I don’t know why they were stuffed in the back of the dresser, but there they were. Dingy white socks with the pink threads on the toes. I’ll bring them to the beach when we meet up.

Oh, Sam says hi and he hopes you’re good and he wants you to shoot him a text when you can. You can do what you want, but you better not mail him a letter. That’s just for me. God, my hand is cramping up. I’m not used to this. Oh, and you’re not alone. My knee creaks like a haunted house when I go up stairs now. And my right wrist pops, and my neck makes this weird almost squeaking sound, and my ass- well, I could go on, but just know you’re not alone. Kinda weird to think that we lived long enough to be this old, ain’t it? I never thought I’d live to be thirty and here I am staring down 42. Forty Fucking Two. Can you believe that shit? Goddamnit I got old. Let’s go find a nursing home together. Maybe we can get a double room- or a king sized bed?

Think about it. We could be cranky old people together. Losing our memories and shuffling around with walkers and shit. You’d look cute with white hair. And fuck, my beard’s already going gray. Should I grow out my beard?

Write back soon. I really like seeing your letters in the box.

Dean x

My dearest Dean Winchester, it is with great happiness that I write this letter to you and I do hope that it finds you well and happy and all good things and I can’t keep this formal shit up. Ha!

Anyway- but yeah, things are good. I know it’s been a while since I’ve written, but I was on a little trip around the continent. Headed up to Montreal for a bit. Killed some nasties, salted some bones, generally fucked around. My beloved truck crapped out in Burlington, Vermont, so I had to hang out there for a while and gather my resources to get a new vehicle. I think you’d like her. Green Ford Explorer from ‘94. OK, she’s not as sexy as the Impala, but she gets me where I need to go. Which, apparently, was Maine! I met up with some friends in Greenville. Cute little town full of witchcraft. So much fun. Also had a lobster roll on a pier… I swear to god, they plucked this thing right out of the water and slapped it on a buttered roll. You’d LOVE it. I’m gonna take you there someday.

Speaking of- We need to make plans for Florida. I picked up a little bikini on my travels and I think I really need to show it off. Maybe you could be my bodyguard and keep the creeps away while I’m sunbathing? To repay you for your services, I’ll gladly let you take it off me at night…

Oh, and I’ve thought about this extensively, and I believe that you should, in fact, grow your beard out. Like, full on, bushy lumberjack beard. I can’t wait to see all that gray. You know I have a thing for older men… and you’ll always be older than me, Dean Winchester and don’t you forget it!

And for your information, I don’t lose my keys anymore! I got one of those… apple taggy things. Now I know where they are at all times. Can’t find my phone to find them sometimes, but that’s another issue.

Two weeks later, I’m picking up my pen again. Sorry this is taking forever. Things are stupid busy. I wish I could just… put this fucking gun down and go live with you on a farm somewhere. Not a working farm, we wouldn’t keep pigs or anything because gross, but a farmhouse in the middle of nowhere. Big white house with a giant tree in the yard and a tire swing and a picket fence and a kid chasing the dog around and -

Shit. Do you ever think about it? I do. A lot. More than I’d like to and it fucking cuts me up inside every time. I know we could never have kept it, and life- I mean- it just wasn’t meant to be. But I do think about it sometimes. Imagine if we’d just walked away from the life and tried to be a family? Impossible, I know. Maybe in another life.

Shit, I’m sorry. Fuck. Ignore me. I haven’t slept in a while and I just

I want to see you. Can we meet somewhere? Wherever you want. I’ll come to you.

~ Y/N

Dear Dean,

This is my second attempt at writing this. Crumpled up the first one because I’m an idiot. Am I an idiot? Did I piss you off with the last letter? I honestly didn’t mean to. I just- we said we’d be honest, and you’ve been so open in your letters that I thought it was ok to talk about, but I guess not. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have dug that stuff up.

I’m so tired and stressed and I miss you so much. Since we’ve been writing back and forth it’s almost like I can’t stop thinking about you. I get so fucking excited to check the mail whenever I roll back into town. It’s like… I don’t know, it’s like Christmas every time I see your handwriting in my box. Remember the time you wrote your name on my thigh in Sharpie? That stayed on for like a week. I shoulda gotten it inked on. That’d be something, huh? Branded by a Winchester.

Fuck, Dean, I really hope you’re not mad at me. I really want to call you, but we said we wouldn’t. Just write me back, please.

I’ll be in your neck of the woods next week. Got turned onto a haunting up in Abilene. Maybe we can meet on the road somewhere? Please?

Hey, did you know there’s a Hunter, Kansas? Wonder why they didn’t build the bunker there. I don’t know, made me laugh when I was looking at the map.

Anyway- Please write me back. Or call. Or text. Or send a damned pigeon with a tiny letter taped to its foot. I don’t care, how, just do it please. Even if you’re mad at me and don’t want to talk anymore, I get it. But please. Just let me know, OK?

I’m sorry.

Love, Y/N

Dear Y/N,

I didn’t know you and my brother were writing to each other like this, but I found your last few letters to him in his private P.O. Box. I didn’t even know he had one of his own, but I guess we all keep secrets from those we love. I hope you don’t mind that I read your letters. Not all of them, but the last two that came through. Please know that Dean would have responded if he could have, I know he would have. He talked about you a lot recently. Said you two were in contact and that he was hoping to find some time to meet you for a vacation. I don’t know where you guys were planning on going, but I found a new Hawiian shirt in his closet with the tags still on it.

I know we spoke on the phone after he passed, but I wanted to send this to you. I was cleaning up his stuff and found his notepad. Looks like he’d started a letter before we left for Canton. I think he’d want you to have it.

I’m closing up the Bunker soon. I don’t really know where I’ll go, but I can’t be here right now. Not without my brother.

I’ll always be around if you need anything or want to talk. I’ll always answer the phone for you, Y/N.

Be well,

Sam Winchester

Y/N/N,

If I could take it back I would. Every fucking word. I think about it now and I know we made the wrong choice. I know we could have made it work if we tried. But we are both total fuck ups who can’t be normal. We just can’t.

Forgive me

That’s dog slobber up there, not tears. Just fyi. Definitely not tears. I think I might have been a little drunk when I started writing and then well-

Anyway- Maine sounds awesome. We were there once but no time for lobster rolls. Guess I missed out.

Not much to report since the last letter. Been kinda quiet here. But… I did apply for a job. Well, I filled out the application. Well, I started filling it out. It’s actually underneath this notepad right now. I’ll get to it. I will. I just need a good kick in the ass. Or maybe a pinch… wink wink

I absolutely think we need to get together. Pick some place stupid like the World’s Largest Frying Pan or South of The Border. I’ll meet you. Just say when.

Guess this letter will take a little longer to finish. We’re leaving for Ohio in a little bit. There’s a buncha vampire dicks making a mess. Gonna take ‘em to batting practice. Show them my machete swing. I’ll give a full report when we’re back home

Dean Dean,

I made it to the beach. It’s hot, like stupid hot. Had to stand in the water just to keep my toes from burning. I’ve been sitting here for hours trying to think of something to say, but all I can say is I love you. I miss you. I wish you were here with me. I wish things had been different. I wish and wish and wish.

If I throw this into the ocean will it get to you somehow or will my words just wash away like the sand?

I’ll see you again someday. I hope so, anyway. Let’s just pretend I’m destined for Heaven. I know you’re up there. You were too good not to be. You sacrificed so much, cared so much, saved so many people. I know you made it. If there’s any mercy in this universe, I’ll be up there someday too. Just don’t have too much fun without me.

I love you, Dean. Always.

Y/N

2024 Forever Tags (Always Open! Send an Ask!)

@alwaystiredandconfused @babysimpala @beardburnsupersoldiers @chenshemesh1 @cosicas-cuquis @deans-baby-momma @deanwinchesterswitch @feelmyroarrrr @foxyjwls007 @hobby27 @impalaspixie @jackles010378 @kazsrm67 @k-slla @leigh70 @lunaroserites @lyarr24 @nancymcl @nix-rose @peachy-vans @pizzagirlxnsfwx @rachiem4-blog @rosecentury @sexyvixen7 @suckitands33 @the-wounded-healer05

#jacklesversebingo23 #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester x reader #dean x you #dean/reader #sfw

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skyeslittlecorner · 3 months

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Guys, we're doing it!

Do you remember this survey? I didn't expect such a great response. If that many of you really want to participate, I guess I'll have to do more than one batch of the draw to choose as much of your MC's as I can.

More info under the cut!

Time for some rules, so we won't get lost

The concept is simple. You give me your precious OCs/MCs, I adopt them for a while, write fanfic (related to WHB, of course) and hand them over to your loving hands.

For now, I plan to choose 3-5 people to write for. This may change if more people apply. If one applies, I will write for one. If 96 apply, I will choose more. We'll figure it out.

You can apply in two ways. One is to reblog this post and describe everything in reply, the second is to create your own post with the hashtag #whbmcshuffle Preferably both at once. I don't want to accidentally lose any application. I also recommend following this tag for the time being because I will post further information under it.

The people I will write for will be drawn randomly. I want it to be fair, and I guess this is the only way I won't be biased when I see mutuals I like or Andrea my favorite demons.

You can apply for one week. Since we may all be in different time zones, submissions will close when this survey ends.

Feed me information. Since I want to write something good, I would like to ask you for some information. Here's the list:

Name and pronouns: Quite obvious. Short bio: Who are they? Any difficult past or traumas? What were they doing on earth? Did they get to hell like in canon? How do they feel in hell? Where they live? Character: What are their main character traits? How do they usually behave? How do they behave in crisis situations? Voice: (Not mandatory, although, very helpful.) What would the narrative look like? More calm or energetic? Confident or not at all? Funny or serious? Calm or nervous? Laid back or distrustful? You can even paste here a song or a link to some story that you think reflect your oc's voice well. Important facts: Free space, you can put whatever you want here and whatever you think is important. Demons to include in the fic: (from 1 to 3) Brief description of relationship with chosen demons: I guess that's obvious. The tone in which it should be written: (i.e. spicy, angst, fluff, funny or other) Narrative type: Second person (addressing as 'you') or third person (addressing with selected pronouns) The script you would like to see: (Not mandatory, although, very helpful) For example, a date on Earth, cooking together, whatever you come up with.

I know it's a lot to ask. This is a minimal list, but the more information you give me, the better I will be able to empathize with your MCs and hopefully imitate their character. If you have already written about them, for example in your other posts, feel free to include links, so I can take a better look at them. Of course, you can add photos, or a song, or memes, anything you want!

I didn't mention the length of the fic, but it depends on how I will feel writing it. But I'll want it to be at least 800 words.

Most important. Have fun! It's mainly about getting to know each other's OCs/MCs. Who knows, if there's a lot of interest, maybe we'll do more draws. 👀

I tried to include everything, but if you have any questions, feel free to ask!

#whb #what in hell is bad #whb oc #whb mc #whbmcshuffle

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lurkingshan · 7 months

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Breaking Down the I Feel You Linger in the Air Finale

Okay pals, I got some sleep and I'm ready to dig into this finale and all its beautiful messiness. I love this show and I'm frankly a little frustrated that we got such an incomplete resolution to the (hopefully) first season when there was ample time to do it right. As ever, pacing and time and information management continue to be major weaknesses for Tee Bundit. As I said last week, the writing for this show has been undeniably messy but it's still holding together on the strength of the production and the performances and the success of some of its big themes and character arcs; that take held firm through the finale and some of the baffling choices made about where to spend our time in this final installment. So, let's dig into it!

The Long Goodbye

I'll say upfront that this is my biggest beef with the pacing of the finale. We spent all of last week on a long and painful goodbye for Yai and Jom, perfectly executed, but for some reason we did another 45 minutes of it this week, not so perfectly executed. While I loved the covering of the mirrors, the saddest sex scene ever (complete with sex moans running as the audio over a memory montage how dare you show!), and the pain of Yai realizing he drew the final picture and watching Jom disappear, we didn't need to retread them saying goodbye to each other over and over again for two entire hours of story time, and we didn't need a long, sappy, on the nose speech from Jom saying things we already knew. As I told @neuroticbookworm, this might be my aro showing but I found the series of repetitive emotional goodbye conversations and memory montages exhausting and not in a good way. If I were the script doctor, I would have kept the mirrors, sad sex, and Yai drawing as the start of the episode and cut the rest, moving much more quickly into the next phase of the story.

Back to the Future

Jom returning to his present day life, trying to cope with his anguish and loneliness and adjust back into things, and further investigating the time travel mystery to figure out a way to reconnect with Yai should have been the main narrative of this episode. Instead, we got a truncated version of it that didn't have time to breath because we'd used up so much time on the above mentioned retread. For my money, Jom's devastation upon finding Yai's letter to him was the most emotionally resonant moment of the finale and the first part of the episode where I almost cried. But we had barely sunk into that feeling before it was abruptly cut short because we were out of time and Tee needed to wrap this baby up.

Eyebrow Scar Yai

Here’s where I get actually kind of peeved, because this final (pre-credits) scene was so poorly set up and executed that to even call it a resolution is a stretch. A modern version of Yai walks into the room, asks Jom why he's crying, tells him he's been waiting for him, kisses him, and then the credits roll!

Now I've been in the tags so I know this caused confusion for anyone who has not read the novel (me too, fam!). And that's because the show had not bothered to establish:

That Yai does in fact have a modern doppelgänger

Who the heck that doppelgänger is and how he’s connected to 1928 Yai

How that doppelgänger would be able to remember Jom when no other doppelgängers in the story can remember their past lives

Based on what we know, could we piece together a reasonable theory about who this man is, how he got there, and the final pieces of the mythology that make sense of it? Sure. In fact, bookworm and I pretty much guessed exactly what the explanation for this was after watching the show, and many of the elements at play here were theorized in conversations we had last week. Book readers like @tipsyjaehyun have now confirmed the full explanation for anyone who cares to go read it.

But the show did not tell us any of this information. If you have to read the novel or have novel readers spoil you on aspects of the story that the show didn't bother to cover in order to understand the ending of the story, the execution has failed. And given the pacing notes above, there is really no reason we couldn't have gotten a better set up for this ending with Eyebrow Scar Yai (yes I know his name but no I'm not using it because the show didn't bother telling me; I am petty like that). Jom could have found this descendant during his time of processing and the ending could have hinged on us realizing this modern Yai is a reincarnation who has his past life memories intact; had we gone into a final kiss between them feeling grounded in all of that knowledge, it would have landed so much better.

Hello Commander

And now on to the post-credits scene, where Tee puts a plea into the universe to give him a second season so he can play around in another time period and explore what is evidently the origin of this soul tie between Jom and Yai. I chose to read this episode tag as separate from the actual season 1 narrative, and I think that was the intention given its placement. If they secure funding for a second season, this tag scene becomes the beginning of that next story, with Eyebrow Scar Yai's kiss sending Jom into another time travel adventure. If they don't we can just ignore it and pretend the pre-credits scene was the end (which is why I'm not happy it was so poorly done). I, for one, would love to see a second season to explore another time period and give Tee a chance to clean up some of this mess he has made of the mythology and season 1 resolution. Shouts to @clairedaring for reporting back from the live showing of the finale on what the possibilities are looking like there. Fingers crossed we get a continuation of this story some day!

Tagging in @waitmyturtles and @twig-tea who also have linked posts above. And shouts to @blmpff @cankersoregirl @pharawee @wanderlust-in-my-soul @italianpersonwithashippersheart @bengiyo @dragonsareawesome123 @wen-kexing-apologist @junghaesin @stuffnonsenseandotherthings @slayerkitty @respectthepetty @chickenstrangers @sunshinechay @btwinlines for posting about this show every week and making it such a fun watch despite having a small audience on here. It was a pleasure watching this with you all!

#i feel you linger in the air #thai bl #shan shouts into the void

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versadies · 2 years

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CHAPTER SIX || HAPPINESS

SYPNOSIS (of chapter). in which there’s no happiness in both sides.

SYPNOSIS (of series). breaking up with your first love was heartbreaking, but not as heartbreaking as getting invited to his wedding after years of not seeing him. that is, until things seem to be easier when you encounter a certain guest, who could end up being more than just a blooming friend to you.

CHARACTERS. kamisato ayato, diluc ragnvindr (w/ gn!reader)

CONTENT. angst/no-comfort, modern!au, ooc ayato (?), mentions of breakup, no tw as far as ik of

PENPALS. @scaraslover @dawgimsohot @kazu-topia @aqualesha @mrkamisato @serami00 @serenareiss @hiqhkey @emperatris-rinaka @bystander36 @irisxiel @ladycoleigh @034ven @dear-dairiess @luv3rxcha @hadesaedes @chiro-chiro-kun @hersscherofyatta @mariusvonhangme @yuzuricebun @nejibot @hoshikistarlette @solaaresque @crowbird @lordbugs @estelwrld @reinvqx @chihawari @moonlightaangel @lonelysimpfor2dmen @sniffoat @mxsomn @jiminscarmex @alice0blog @ylimeprive @irethepotatosblog @irethepotato @elychee @rion-s @denkineptune @franini @sophisticatedleslie @thedivinepriestess @smashsubs @httpmitsuya @cottonkendi @uchihaeirin @abvolat @kokushiboswife @kyomihann @prplbunny @crowleysthings @axeybelle09 @chimsblogg @ys14a @leaunce @q-zrs @phoenixdrake88-blog @giyusimpsassemble @saving-for-xiao @jean-kirstiens-wife @strawberryuns @selfinsertintrovert @sachispet (VISIT THIS POST IF YOU’D LIKE TO BE TAGGED)

WORD COUNT. 6.4k words

SPECIAL NOTE. i apologize for not posting any chapters for the past two weeks ( > — < ) !! i wasn’t able to work on chapter 6 thanks to school and other personal things. hopefully next week will be kinder and let me do what i want 💀💀

LINKS. EVERMORE MASTERLIST \ MAIN MASTERLIST

PREVIOUS || NEXT

POST-SCRIPT. want to ask me a question regarding my evermore series? come visit this survey here!

Ayato is always prepared.

For all his life, he was prepared to become the best of the best, to ensure that his family’s business is as prosperous as always, and to face many obstacles and those who dare to threaten the Yashiro Company.

For all his life, he never wished that his life would go different, that his life had never revolved around handling the Yashiro Company and could’ve lived freely. He never expected anything from school, the one thing that at least made him feel like he’s normal like his peers, and only thought the only important thing is the future that awaits.

You weren’t someone he considered important back then.

He’s heard of your name before, from Thoma’s lips as he happily chats away with the blue-haired man, from some student council officers who wondered if you’d be free to hang out with them, and from certain events in school that involved you in it.

You weren’t someone important, until you did.

Ayato always visits Komore Cafe whenever he can or when he needs something refreshing after a tiring day. However, the particular reason why he visited is because of Thoma’s absence. For the past weeks, the blonde-haired man has been spacing out often, causing Ayato to grow concerned for his dear friend. He thought it was because of how his family’s business started to blossom more than ever and was just exhausted from working, but when the blue-haired man visited, he later found out from Thoma’s mother that Thoma had recently gone home late.

Thoma never goes home late, as far as he knew at least.

It took perhaps thirty minutes after Ayato sat on his seat when his best friend arrived, but to his surprise, Thoma brought company.

The moment you entered inside the cafe, he felt like the world had grown brighter.

You brought his attention, strangely more than how most people that Thoma’s with. He wasn’t sure if it’s the way the sunlight made you exceptionally breathtaking, the way you lightly laughed at Thoma’s clumsiness and stumbled words (a side that Ayato never saw from his best friend), or the way you feel like you’re going to be more than just someone who has the same friend as he.

Whatever it is that made Ayato interested, he just knew he wanted you in his life, be it as a friend or–

No, that won’t happen.

But then it did.

One simple conversation and Ayato was curious. Two more conversations and Ayao wanted more. More conversations and Ayato is hooked.

Whenever he’s with you, it feels like he’s a whole different person. Instead of the disciplined and refined Kamisato Ayato, he’s just the mischievous and sickeningly sweet Ayato. Whenever he’s with you, it felt like you could see through him and read him like an open book, not because you’re a great observant person, but because he allowed you to – even if he sometimes didn’t mean to.

Whenever he’s with you, he falls even more in love.

He never planned for this to happen.

Romance was something he had never considered in his life, knowing that one day he’ll be in an arranged marriage should his father accept such an offer. However, now that he has you, he thought his father wouldn’t make him pursue arranged marriage – besides, his family loved you, how could there possibly be a chance he would be separated from the person he holds dear to his heart?

Yet here he is, getting ready for a wedding with the person who isn’t you.

The biggest regret of Ayato’s life was the inability to fight hard enough for you, choosing to follow his family instead of following the desires of his heart. The world went back to being bland, monotone even. How did he manage to live through his past without you? How can he go back to being the disciplined and refined Kamisato Ayato without the side that was often brought out because of you?

He wanted to cast his heart aside, but seeing your devastating face every single day in college was enough for him to be reminded that his heart still and always will be longing for you.

There was not a day where he wondered what could’ve been if he had decided to let the name and reputation of the Kamisato family go tarnished and chose to be with you, what could’ve been if he had ignored his blooming feelings for you back then and not be your boyfriend in the first place, or what could’ve been if fate was not so cruel to him.

Perhaps he should’ve ignored his feelings, then none of this would have happened.

If he ignored it, he wouldn’t have broken up with you and become cold towards you, ignored you for the rest of the days in college, spend sleepless nights in devastation and regret, made you despise him for the words he lied about, nor would he become a desperate soul longing for a forgiveness he can’t reach.

One of the things he didn’t exactly plan is inviting you to his wedding.

It was one thought at first, what if he’d invite you to the wedding and apologize? But then again, it would cause quite a ruckus if anyone, especially the Hiiragi family, found out about his first love visiting the wedding.

That one thought turned to countless thoughts.

There’s nothing Ayato wants more than to have you as his lover. He’s no cruel man, he would never lash out the despair he holds on someone like Chisato – who’s only dragged to this as well and had no part in starting this marriage arrangement – but there were times when he wished he didn’t want to see her. What’s the point of waking up if you’re not the one who he sees?

He then decided no, he won’t invite you to the wedding. You most likely have moved on, maybe even met someone new, and maybe that someone is…

Foolish, Ayato thought to himself. You have no right to be jealous. Not when they’re no longer yours.

It took one conversation occurred between him and Thoma, who’s chosen as his best man for the wedding, that made the CEO think otherwise.

“Why don’t we invite Ei, Miko, and ( Name )? I think it would be a great reunion with our friends if they came.” Thoma brought up as he checks the guest list for Ayato.

The blue-haired man instantly looks at the blonde-haired man when he mentions your name. “Oh?”

He nods. “I’m sure they’ll accept it, especially since ( Name ) haven’t seen the others for so long, and besides, maybe you might… make up with them?”

Ayato chuckles, now understanding Thoma’s motives. “Ah, so you’re just here to suggest ( Name ), huh?”

The blonde-haired man’s cheeks turns red in embarrassment – or is it from thinking about you? “P-Partially.. I just think it’s best if you and ( Name ) finally settle things between you properly. They deserve to know–”

“Then it’s settled.”

“Huh?”

Ayato’s lips twitch upward. “I just needed someone to suggest the same thing as I, so let’s add them on the list, make sure that no one slips a single word about the… past relationship.”

Thoma’s eyes slightly widened, not expecting the man to easily accept the suggestion. “You.. You have my word. I’ll add them to the guest list and add three more invitations.”

The CEO hums in response, looking down to continue his work. “You’re dismissed then if that’s all.”

Thoma bows and walks out from the office, his mind has nothing but the thought of the way his boss, his best friend for so many years, looks exceptionally bright for the first time since forever.

Another thing he didn’t plan was to be speechless when he first sees you.

He still remembers your conversation about how you wanted your wedding to be in Mondstadt like it was yesterday.

To you, marriage was something you fantasized whenever the both of you talked about your shared future. To him, marriage was something he wanted whenever the both of you talked about your shared future.

“Ooh, perhaps we should pick Mondstadt as our location! Won’t it be sweet if you and I get married in Mondstadt? I hear they have romantic sceneries that are a wonderful sight.” You said, and Ayato watches you scrolling down your phone with a smile on his face. You look so cute when you’re so focused and fixated on your phone, he just can’t help but decide to hold you close to him!

He lets out a chuckle, the color pink dusted his cheeks from how close the both of you are. “Whatever makes you happy, love. It’d be great if the cathedral is available by the time we’re ready. I hear that it can make the wedding altar sceneric with how the sun reflects through the windows.” He spoke up, imagining the way the sunlight would shine on you, causing you to look more radiant than ever.

He could sense your smile. “It seems I’m not the only one who has researched.” You teased, and he couldn’t help but place his lips on your temple.

“Of course. You’re not the only one who’s looking forward to our future together.” He retorts, holding you closer as he relishes your presence with a happy sigh. “Nevertheless, even if things do not go our way, I’m sure we’ll be prepared for everything.”

But I wasn’t prepared for these circumstances. He thought at the back of his mind as he and Chisato continued to greet their guests.. How silly of me to even think I would be able to be with the person I want… His eyes darken slightly, the polite smile on his face was on the verge of disappearing.

Just as you said, the hotel was truly a magnificent place to stay in – the pictures you showed him didn’t give the hotel justice, in fact. If only you were here as his spouse instead, then perhaps the place would be vibrant–

The bored look on his face instantly disappears when his eyes land on familiar ones.

Not too far away from where he is stood the person who he wanted to be with for the rest of his life, looking as breathtaking as always as you continue to be unaware of his staring. You look happier than before when you were heartbroken from his breakup with you, and although you look older now, you're still the same person he fell in love with.

It felt like he was back to being the mischievous and sickeningly sweet student whose heart was taken by someone who loved him back.

Reality suddenly washes over him when you noticed him staring at you, his heart ached at the way your smile wasn’t seen on your features – you looked hesitant, as if you’re meeting the infamous CEO of the Yashiro business and not the man you once loved.

It felt like you now see him as a stranger.

“Dear?” Chisato calls.

He immediately looks away from your direction to look at his future bride, and he realizes that the guests he has been greeting have now left. “Are you alright, Ayato?” Chisato asks with a worried look on her face.

The blue-haired man smiles reassuringly. “I’m alright, I just spotted a long time old friend. Shall we get going and greet them?”

Chisato looks at where Ayato was staring, her eyes brightens at the sight of you. “Oh, it’s ( Name )! We should get going then, I’m sure you have a lot to talk about with them.”

Without hesitation, the couple went towards you, and Ayato sees the way your lips went upwards when you started talking to your plus one – who seems to look familiar for some reasons he couldn’t point out.

By the time he stands completely near to you, he instantly calls your name – something that he hasn’t spoken for such a long time.

“( Name ).”

You slowly turned around, causing him to see you clearly now that he’s closer to you. “It’s… been a while.” He spoke, letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “I’m glad you took the time to come here, I hope your trip to Mondstadt was alright.”

He didn’t mean to be so formal, but he knows people are watching.

“It’s been a while as well, Kamisato.” You replied, not noticing how hurt flashes through his eyes from how you called him by his surname as you look at Chisato, who gave you a polite smile. “You must be the lucky bride, I’m–”

“( Name ), right?” The woman interrupts, and despite being so close to you, Ayato felt so distant. “I’ve heard so much about you! Ayato here told me how you two were best friends for such a long time! I’m honored to meet you, I’m Hiiragi Chisato.”

He wanted more than just best friends.

Ayato sees the way you looked confused despite your attempts to hide it. Even after years of not seeing you, you’re still so easy to read like a book – or his favorite book, rather.

You then spoke. “Yes. I’m honored to meet you as well, Miss Chisato. I hope you’ll enjoy your stay here – Mondstadt’s a beautiful place for a wedding.”

A wedding that should’ve been yours and I, Ayato thought solemnly as Chisato giggled. “Oh I know. Ayato couldn’t stop telling me about how he had always wanted to get married in Mondstadt,” She suddenly wraps her arms around his, and he feels the urge to disappear from the look on your face. He felt so suffocated. “And how could I say no to this man? I’m glad I didn’t, the hotel surely made me amazed.” She adds.

The look you have on your face instantly washes away, letting out a light laugh. “Ah I see. Oh, I forgot to mention!” He watched as you gestured to the man standing beside you. “This is my plus one, Zhongli. He’s my close friend and neighbor in Liyue.” You explained as Zhongli lightly bows at the couple, and Ayato couldn’t help but have his suspicions grow now that the man is closer. Where have I seen this man before? He wonders.

“Pleased to meet you both. I’d like to send my congratulations on your wedding.” Zhongli spoke smoothly.

Ayato dares not to show his suspicion, humming in acknowledgement. “You have our gratitude, Mr. Zhongli. Though, I can’t help but point out how you look… familiar. Have we perhaps met before?”

He pays no mind to the way you raised an eyebrow at his words as Zhongli clears his throat with a polite smile. “Ah well, I don’t think I recall. You must’ve mistaken me for another.” The brown-haired man spoke.

Liar, Ayato thought, but before he could persist, he was instantly interrupted by Chisato, who got excited at the sight of other familiar faces nearby.

“Oh Ayato, look! Your parents have arrived at last, we should greet them!” She said excitedly, not noticing the way her future husband’s breath hitches. “Excuse me for a moment. I hope you guys will enjoy your stay!”

“Likewise, Miss Chisato. We’ll be going to our room then.” You said with a smile, and Ayato could tell it was tense – probably due to the worries of getting possibly called out by them that you’re his ex.

He couldn’t help but wonder what could’ve been if you were the one who’s getting married to him.

“...I’ll be going now as well,” The blue haired man spoke, his polite smile threatening to falter as thoughts of you plague his mind like always. “It’s nice seeing you again… ( Name).”

Without another word, he left to follow Chisato, leaving you and your plus one alone together.

He wasn’t sure if there would ever be the day when you’d call him by his name from now on.

For the next few days, Ayato’s encounters with you are far from pleasant. They’re more-so tense, as if you two are strangers who are forced to get along with one another, as if you two are people with no chemistry.

It hurts, but this is on him.

He wanted to talk to you right away and come clean, but with the tasks he had to do for the wedding, it seems he won’t be able to talk to you any time soon much to his dismay.

By the time he did have the time to come up to your room one afternoon, he felt hesitant.

It took him perhaps 30 minutes as he stands in front of your hotel room, reciting the words in his head that will soon escape from his lips once he sees your face. It honestly made him remember the old days when he used to stand in front of your class trying to find the right words to use to invite you out for lunch with him – that’s how much you affect the so-called perfect Kamisato heir, leaving him at a loss for words at your waking moment.

When he gains the courage to ring the doorbell, the person who opens the door is not the one he’s looking for.

“...Good afternoon, Mister Kamisato.” Zhongli greeted, and Ayato felt disappointed that it wasn’t you who he saw. “May I help you?”

Ayato smiles politely. Oh well, you’re probably doing something in the room. “...Is ( Name ) here?” He asks.

His heart sank when Zhongli shook his head in response. “Unfortunately not. They’re outside hanging out with Miss Miko and Miss Shogun.”

They must’ve explored around the city after their lunch, Ayato assumes, regaining his facade once more when he realizes that his smile slightly dropped. “Oh.. I see.. I was hoping I was going to talk to them about something..” Ayato supposes he can talk to you another time.

As if reading his mind, Zhongli then spoke. “You can visit again tomorrow. From what I remember, ( Name ) won’t be having any plans in mind on that day.”

The blue haired man nods slowly. “I understand, thank you for telling me.”

Despite planning on walking away, Ayato’s feet are glued to the floor, debating whether or not he should continue talking to your dear friend.

“If… I may be bold to ask, what’s your relationship with ( Name )?” He asks.

Zhongli tilts his head. Although you have already spoken about him being your close friend, Ayato couldn’t help but feel the urge to ask about his relationship with you – mainly because of how the other man seems to be more than what meets the eye. “...( Name ) and I are neighbors. We’ve been friends ever since they traveled to Liyue.”

“I see,” Ayato murmured, shoulders slowly relaxed when he thought of how you became friends with someone as soon as you arrived in Liyue. “...I take it that they’re doing well in Liyue?”

“Why don’t you ask ( Name ) that when you try to talk to them tomorrow?” Zhongli retorts. “I’m sure they’re willing to tell you. That is.. If you have good intentions when you come up to them.”

Ayato felt surprised. How bold, he thought. It’s reasonable though, especially when he had hurt you enough. “You’re a good friend, Mister Zhongli. Rest assured that I don’t have any ill intentions towards ( Name ).” Nor do I intend to, he thought. “I shall not waste your time any longer, thank you for providing some answers for me. I just want to..” He hesitates for a moment. “...know how they’ve been.”

“It’s no problem, Mr. Kamisato.” Zhongli nods. “Have a good day.”

The next day, Ayato had plenty of encounters with you.

However, said encounters didn’t involve him talking to you. Not when he often sees the infamous Diluc Ragnvindr with you.

How on earth did you two know each other? He questioned. It isn’t out of jealousy, of course, but out of curiosity. Seeing how awkward the both of you look with one another, it seems that you have only known each other recently.

He always sees the both of you by the dining room of the hotel, the convenience store where he saw you snatch the last grape juice away in front of the tycoon while he was waiting for his boba to be served, the gym,

And by the lobby, where everything just went wrong.

Ayato managed to see you walking towards the elevator alone, and he was debating on whether or not right now is the best time to talk to you.

When he notices you catching him staring, he doesn't feel any shame or embarrassment, just agonized when he sees the way your face drops and looks away from his direction.

He then decides to walk towards you, thinking that if he won’t confront you now, then when?

But today was not his day, it seems.

As you try to walk away, you accidentally bump into someone, causing Ayato to instantly rush over and hold you back from falling to the floor, your back facing him. He ignores how the person that bumped into you walked away, too distracted from the fact that he has you in his hold.

How long has it been since he held you?

“...Mr. Kamisato.” You spoke, and without hesitation you took a few steps away from him with a small frown, something he didn’t fail to notice.

He dares not to look hurt. “..Are you alright?” He asks, glancing behind him to try and look for the person who bumped into you, only to be dismayed when he sees no one among the crowd. How dare they bump into you and not apologize?

“It’s a good thing I managed to catch up, it’d be a shame if my guest became injured during such a special occasion–”

“Thank you,” You interrupted, and he quickly shut his mouth. It’s as clear as the day that you’re uninterested to talk, but he couldn’t find himself to leave you again. “I apologize for disturbing you with my recklessness, I’ll be going no–”

He stops you just as you try to take another step to walk away. “Do you mind if…” He hesitates. “If you and I could talk for a while?”

You turned around to look at him. “..Talk about.. What?”

Ayato felt a bit taken back. Of course you wouldn’t assume he’s going to talk about the past, not when he had avoided it back then. “About… us back then. I would like to apologize for what I did to you.” He explains slowly. He’s here to apologize, not to tell you how much he misses you.

Even when forgiveness is out of his reach, he still wants you to know that he regrets it and would never forget it.

“...Why now…?” You spoke.

His eyes widened. “...Pardon?”

You move your hand away from his grip right away, and his heart sank. He remembers how much he suffers in silence back then in college, how much he wanted nothing more but to run to your arms every time you tried to come up to him, how much he always wanted you to be the one who has his ring and no one else, how much he want to see you again even when he could’ve go to Liyue with the snap of his fingers, and to remove the pained look that your eyes hold that he caused.

Why did it have to be like this?

It was evident that he has to face the fact that he still refuses to move on.

“Did… Did you expect me to easily forgive you, Mr. Kamisato?” You spoke shakily, your eyes refusing to meet his. His face drops from your explanation, leaving him speechless.

However, before he could try to reply, someone suddenly interrupts the conversation.

“Ayato, my son!”

Ayato shuts up when he hears his father’s voice, the words that were stuck in his throat disappear at once. Why did he have to appear now?

As Mr. Kamisato chats with you, the thoughts that ran through Ayato’s head was nothing but how much he wants to take you somewhere private as he watches the way you look even more overwhelmed.

He isn’t sure which one he despises, the way he holds a little despise towards his own parents or the way he knows that you’ll start avoiding him more now that you know his intentions – as if this is his punishment for avoiding you for so long during college.

Either way, he knows he doesn’t deserve you.

The rest of the conversation you have with his father was all a blur, it only stopped when he realizes you’re trying to stop the conversation with his father.

“Indeed they did, I should uhm.. I should get along now, I forgot that I have an appointment that’s due.” You spoke, not noticing how Ayato sees the way your hands started to get fidgety.

He’ll help you, his apology can wait.

Before his father could say a word, Ayato finally talked. “I can escort you if you’d like. I’m on my way towards the elevator as well.”

“Ah, let’s not bother Mx. ( Last Name ), son.” Mr. Kamisato spoke immediately, eyeing at your direction with a concerned look. “I’m sure Mx. ( Last Name ) can go to where they need to be without you. We wouldn’t want people to misunderstand the situation if they ever see you two together, right?”

Ayato shoots his father a frown. Of course his father prioritizes reputation, but why can’t he just realize that you’d rather be somewhere else than here?

Before the CEO could protest, he realizes someone is now standing behind you.

“...Mx. ( Last Name ).”

His eyes widen when he hears a familiar voice.

“...Mr. Ragnvindr.” You breathe out, turning around to see the red-haired man. Ayato couldn’t help but wonder about Diluc's motives – it’s unusual for the aloof tycoon like this – especially with the way he looks at you differently.

“Oh? It seems you know Mx. ( Last Name ), Mr. Ragnvindr.” Ayato’s father spoke up, his shoulders relaxed. “How unexpected, if I may be so bold to comment.”

Diluc hums in response. “Indeed we have. We actually just met a few days ago outside the hotel. We’re planning on visiting the.. Restaurant upstairs to get to know each other more.”

Ayato’s eyes slightly widens – Wait, are they–

The red-haired man clears his throat immediately. “As friends, of course.”

The CEO looks in your direction to see if you’re uncomfortable with Diluc’s presence, only to see you laugh lightly. “Uhm, yes.. I was actually going upstairs to meet up with Mr; Ragnvindr there! B-But it seems I must’ve taken quite a while from how.. I was carried away with the conversation I had with you guys.” You explained. From the way you talked, it’s no lie that you’re definitely making it up, and you now have someone who can take you to your room.

As long as you’re alright, then who is he to try and ruin your chance?

A stiff smile grew on his face. “I see.. I shouldn’t take your time too long then,” He then gives Diluc an acknowledged nod. “I hope you have fun. Shall we take our leave now, father?”

Ayato’s father nodded right away. “Of course. I had a pleasant time with you, Mx. ( Last Name ).”

You nodded in response with a small smile. “I had a… pleasant time as well, Mr. Kamisato, as well as Mr. Ayato Kamisato.”

Without another word, the four of you went away to the opposite directions.

As soon as Ayato and his father went to a less crowded area, he felt his father’s eyes bore on him with a warning look on his face.

“Be careful next time, Ayato.” He whispers, eyeing around the room cautiously. “If one of them finds out about ( Last Name ), who knows what they’ll do. So if you’re trying to talk to them, find a better way and a private place.”

The light in Ayato’s eyes dims, remembering the reason why all of this is happening in the first place. “...I apologize, father.”

His father lets out a sigh, looking at where you had left with Diluc. “It’s… alright. Just make sure to be more careful – for both their sake and our family’s.”

With his father’s words taken to heart, Ayato indeed found a way to talk to you in private.

Today is September 27, the day before the joint bachelor and bachelorette party, and the groom decides to use the opportunity to talk to you while everyone else is scrambling to prepare for the upcoming event.

Just like before, there were multiple times when he encountered you.

He meets you in the morning whereas he spots you taking a stroll in the hotel’s garden area peacefully. His stomach flips at the sound of your light laughter from something your friend is saying, whose smile is as wide as yours.

He feels grateful that you have someone like Zhongli to hang out with, but he still felt a bit suspicious of the man.

Not wanting to ruin your peaceful time, he decided to just try and talk to you when he meets you again next time.

Said next time happened in the buffet room. While Ayato was eating lunch with Thoma, he noticed you walking by with your meal. He was about to excuse himself and try to come up to you until his best man started bringing up questions regarding the party tomorrow while not noticing your presence, leaving the groom no choice but to keep his excuse silent and answer all of the blonde-haired man’s questions.

When Ayato finished answering, he tried to excuse himself again, only this time he stopped when he saw you talking to some of your friends with a huge smile on your face, something he never sees when you talk to him this week, as you take a bite of your favorite food (that was somehow available in the buffet)

Nevertheless, he feels happy to see that you still like to eat your favorite food, but he wanted Itto, who’s with you by the table, to stop snatching some of your food away to eat it.

Not wanting to ruin your conversation with your old friends, he decided to try and talk to you when he meets you again next time.

The next time he sees you, the both of you are in a cafe called Cat’s Tail. While he’s sitting by the corner of the cafe alone, he notices you entering the cafe alone, making a beeline towards the cash register to get your order.

He observes you without you noticing his presence. He thought to himself that if you end up staying in the cafe, he’ll try to come up to you and sit across from you to come clean.

Much to his relief, you went towards one of the tables and sat there.

He feels a bit nostalgic that the table you went to is similar to your favorite spot back in Komore’s Cafe from Inazuma, he could still remember back when he always sat across from you as you try to study for upcoming quizzes and exams. For the past years since you had left, he simply stays by your favorite spot every time he visits the cafe, hoping that one day if faith isn’t cruel, he gets to see you instead of an empty chair in front of him.

Before Ayato could stand up to come up to you, he stops himself when he sees an employee walking towards him with his order. He’s grateful that his name wasn’t called, given that it’d make you become aware that he’s in the same room as you.

Reluctantly, he decided to not go to you just yet, not wanting to be seen as rude to the server who’s completely oblivious.

By the time the server was finished and took her leave, Ayato instantly looks at where you are, only to see you walking out from the cafe with your order in hand.

Not wanting to ruin your small break, he decides to try and talk to you when he meets you again next time.

The next time he meets you, it’s now in the elevator.

He was on his way up to your hotel room when you suddenly entered the floor, all the words he had in his mind went on the verge to disappear – this time, he made sure not to forget.

This time, Ayato made sure to no longer push this aside for “next time” and finally talk to you.

Meanwhile, your mind goes blank as soon as you realize who was in front of you, not expecting Ayato out of all people to be in the same elevator as you.

There’s no going back now, you thought to yourself before awkwardly entering the platform, and the blue-haired man took a few steps on the side to give you space.

If there was another person in the same elevator as the both of you, then the tense atmosphere would surely be as clear as glass.

“...I apologize if our encounter last time made you uncomfortable, ( Name ).” He broke the silence a few seconds after the elevator closed. “I only wanted to discuss important matters with you, but… it seems that I should have known my boundaries and try harder in taking my father away before he could bother you more.”

You slightly get tense as your mind calculates your response, refusing to look at your ex. “...It’s alright.. I’m guessing you still want to talk about us back then..?”

Ayato nods slowly, swallowing the lump in his throat. “I do.”

He sees the way your shoulders slumps, and he immediately wants to take his word back. “But seeing how I’m too late for that, it’s understandable if you don’t want to.”

You became quiet for a few seconds. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t nervous– did he take it too far? Did he do it at a bad time? Would you hear him out?

“This is… late.” You comment carefully. “I don’t know what even made you think today out of all the years you could’ve talked to me is the best time to do it, but if it helps you with your wedding, then do as you please. Just don’t assume I’d forgive you now..”

He hesitated for a moment and let out a light sigh.

“What Chisato and I have is… an arranged marriage.” What she and I have is nothing compared to what you and I had, he thought.

You stayed silent after that. Even when you had a few seconds before a “ding!” is heard, even when the elevator opens and displays the number of your floor, even when Ayato stares at you with a desperate look on his face – wanting you to at least give a reaction instead of this – you didn’t say anything no matter what.

It was only when you turned around to face him after walking out from the elevator, and he couldn’t recognize you with that look on your face, not when he hasn’t seen it for so long since college.

“I don’t want your apology.” You said, your voice grew soft. “Letting you go was the hardest thing I’ve ever done… and I want to move on now.” Pain flashes through your eyes as Ayato’s heart shatters at this moment, the elevator suddenly starts closing.

You suddenly stopped it from closing, wanting to say more as the elevator reopens itself. “That woman you’re getting married to loves you – she looks at you the way I do and I’m sure you will be happier with her than with me.”

He opens his mouth, only for you to silent him by shaking your head in dismay. “Whether or not you disagree with me, it doesn’t matter. It’s too late for you and I to even consider going back to the way we used to be, so you might as well just try to be happier in your wedding instead.”

You noticed how the elevator starts closing, causing you to take it as your cue to leave. “Be happy, Kamisato Ayato. That’s the only thing I ask from you.”

Just like that, the elevator was close shut, leaving the CEO alone with his thoughts and shattered heart filled with regret.

The look on your face that will haunt his mind from now on has reminded him of a certain incident before, specifically the day that made you finally come to terms and stop talking to your ex.

“This is different,” He interrupts. “You are different.”

You scoffed. “What does she have that I don’t? Is it the money? Her reputation? Her company?!”

He stays silent for a moment, and despite being with him for so many years, his expression right now is something you have never seen before.

“My love.”

Those words are enough to make your eyes widen as your breath hitches.

“...What do you mean?” You breathe out, watching as something flashes through his eyes when he realizes what he said. It must’ve been a regret for confessing what he said.

“Unlike you,” He hesitates for a moment before letting out a sigh of defeat, “she has my love.”

It took a few minutes for you to process what he had just said, when it did, you felt like the whole world – your own world – was crashing down around you.

That was all a lie, ( Name ). Ayato thought, his head hung low as the elevator started moving towards his floor. You’re different from her or anyone else. You have my love.

He suddenly clutches to his chest, the aching in his heart was something he knew he will have to get used to. And it seems it’ll be like this forever.

Ayato is always prepared.

But the two things he didn’t prepare for was you coming to his life

and letting you go.

As the elevator closed shut, you felt like your knees became jelly, overwhelmed by your discovery as you tried to hold it all together.

You knew you should’ve stayed in Liyue.

You stayed there for what felt like an hour, when in reality you’re just there for a few minutes, staring down at the elevator in helplessness.

For some odd reason, you feel like a burden – big or small, it doesn't matter anymore – has been lifted off from your shoulders. Could this be because you now know what you wished to know for so long? Or the fact that you now know that Ayato isn’t who you thought he was and is on the same page as you all along?

Whatever it may be, you could only wish that he will be a happy man,

Because if his marriage goes downhill, then all the pain and heartbreak you went through would’ve been a waste.

PREVIOUS || NEXT

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fgfluidity · 3 months

Text

mirror | manor (chapter 11)

Summary: After the events of Mirror | Void, a newly-christened Dark has two goals: take revenge on Mark, and, hopefully…

Find the DA.

Pairings: Damien/Dark x DA; Actor x DA (Implied, could be read as gen)

Warnings: none

Tagged: @opprose @volbeast @statictay @otterlyinluv @buc-eebarnes @flerpdederp @mirrorslament @hapikiou (if anyone else would like to be tagged hmu!)

i'm sorry this took almost three years to come out-

find it on ao3 | donate to my kofi

Dark knows the game.

Of course he does— he read the script.

He just expected them to see through it.

Then again... they haven’t seen through anything Mark’s done. They just don’t remember.

He can’t decide if that’s a blessing or a curse.

He sticks to the shadows as they approach, entirely too darling in what amounts to a burglar’s costume, as they wriggle their way inside.

Mark is his own brand of buffoon, and the ‘guards’ he hired match it to the letter, not a drop serious or truly threatening.

(“Sorry I didn’t message you first,” he says, brushing out bits of glass from his hair. “I tried to jam the cell signal and, um… it’s just broken.”)

Imbecile.

Even the dog is there, playing a role. How droll.

Even if she is a very good girl.

All throughout this, he watches for the guard’s radios, for a television screen, for— for anything that he might use to sway the DA, catch their attention without Mark noticing.

If he can just separate them—

The thing is, though, Mark is either ridiculously prepared for his planning, or is completely thoughtless about small, realistic details; throughout the entire museum, no guard has a radio, no wall has a screen.

Not ones that work, anyway— not a connection to anything remotely electromagnetic. Props at best. It’s the least technologically-advanced modern building Dark has been in since…

Well, since he left that manor, but that hardly counts.

The point stands that he’s unable to do much of anything but watch as the DA rolls their eyes and smiles at Mark’s antics, creeps quietly along while the man makes a fool of himself, face set and focused.

He’s seen that look. Pre-trial look. All business.

And they called him too serious all that time ago.

So fondly…

At any rate, their supposed treasure is both easy to get to and utterly unremarkable. A wooden case, carved but hardly special wood, the gem plastic even from his vantage point. A prop, like everything else.

And yet…

Mark lifts the box, and—

This is the end of the script. A successful heist, hightailing it out before they get caught, a seemingly-sincere thanks for help.

But there’s something. Like a little nudge, something like how he feels using the void, how the Earth seems to shift when the Host speaks creation.

The alarm trips.

Mark gives them a choice. Sneak out, or face the guards.

Perhaps... perhaps he overlooked. Perhaps he was given a working script, not the final draft.

Perhaps it’s another of Mark’s machinations.

There was no choice. Why is there a choice?

Why do they get a choice?

It doesn’t matter, really, because the DA picks exactly as he expected they would.

“We have to sneak out, it’s too dangerous, otherwise,” they say, just barely audible over the blaring alarm.

Mark’s face crumbles into a pout. “You’re no fun,” he whines— like a toddler; Dark half expects him to start stomping his feet— but he dutifully uncovers the sewer entrance, grumbling all the way.

The DA just watches, arms crossed. Petty.

They didn’t used to be so petty, but Mark deserves it, if anyone.

Dark very well understands that the entire thing is engineered, a massive staged undertaking to fool the DA and entertain an audience, unseen to his eyes but present all the same.

It doesn’t stop the trip through the sewers any less harrowing, doesn’t prevent him from using his unique position to draw attention away from the DA if ever they come a hair too close to getting caught.

It might be fake, but…

He doesn’t put it past Mark to introduce some very real danger. He’s a method actor, and he’d want his players to follow accordingly for maximum effect.

Dramatic ass.

They follow dutifully behind the entire way through the dark, though— and he notes it with a point of pride, one he chalks up to just how put out Mark seems— with a good amount of non-verbal sass. They cross their arms, roll their eyes, and stubbornly march right along behind Mark.

Not that Mark doesn’t try to get rid of them— oh, he tries to shake them like gum stuck to his shoe, and it’s a thrill to see him huff and grumble when they simply shake their head. He pouts— at several points! So very childish.

Then—

Hm. Unsurprising that the creator of this convoluted mess would whip up some way to surely remove them; if there’s one possible thing they’d listen to above anything else, it’s a worksite safety sign.

Not for lack of effort, though. “I… I really don’t know if we should split up, Mark,” they say, casting an uneasy glance back at the tunnel they just left. “I know it says only one, but if something happens—“

“Nothing’s going to happen! Nothing bad has happened even once!” His bright grin only gets a— astoundingly dry— look in return. It’s nearly impressive that he barrels on, anyway. “It’s for safety, buddy! You’re all about safety— and! We’re synchronized! In five minutes you just follow me over. Or I follow you, whichever.”

Mark gives them a once over, all while grinning, and if Dark wasn’t looking— wasn’t incensed at the familiarity— he wouldn’t have noticed, wouldn’t have cared. Alas.

It’s too… possessive. Too pleased.

He doesn’t need Damien in his head to stoke his rage, it seems, not anymore. The only thing that stops him is what Mark says next.

“You have a choice, sunflower.”

A choice. There it is again, more choices, as if giving them the power to change any of this. Giving them a say.

So they don’t feel trapped.

Aren’t they, though? If Mark wrote everything, created everything, what kind of choice is it?

However…

They glance back at the shadowy tunnel again, frowning, worrying at the sleeves of their top in a too-familiar pattern. If they turn back, they’ll be away from him. How far apart can they both get in five minutes?

How far apart do they need to be for him to intervene?

This is his chance. It may well be the only one he’ll get, and the margin of error is far too slim for his liking— he must get this right. He must say the right thing— and pray they don’t hate or fear him.

Thankfully, time goes a little off-kilter in the Void, or else he’d have to make a very quick plan.

He’ll have to ease them in. See what they could possibly remember from that night, prod what needs prodding. It’s an easy enough parlor trick to conjure up a memory these days.

After that… what could he say?

Damien— he— was never short for words in his past life. As mayor— as councilman, as law student, as debate captain, as his father’s son— he simply had to be good with them, and he was.

Not quite so smoothly charismatic as Mark, not as bombastic and warm as Wil, but— well, he didn’t make mayor through his familial connections, whatever certain parts of his constituency may have believed. He delivered his speeches, his debates, with calm strength, something personable but solid.

Hell, he—

He used to write them for fun. The person— people, really— standing right outside this pocket of Void once teased him.

How are you writing a paper now? Finals are over! Come on, live a little!

Even I don’t want to spend all summer in a library. Won’t you come with me? There are new flowers in the arboretum!

The memory comes unbidden, and throws him off-balance; thankfully, he doesn’t fall out of his incorporeal state or ruin any of his planning.

Such a memory… but how? That’s more of Damien’s—

He hasn’t heard him. Not since that agonizing split when he entered their dream.

Mayhaps they didn’t split.

Mayhaps—

“Well… if you’re sure, Mark,” they sigh, hardly thrilled at the idea. “But it has to be five minutes. If you disappear on me—“

“Relax! It’ll be okay, you’ll see me. Sheesh, you’re so serious.” Mark huffs— then straightens himself. Smiles, even as they turn away, towards Dark. “Yes, alright! You go down that tunnel, I’ll go down this tunnel. If you see anything, and I mean anything, you just turn that sweet little tuchus around and—“

He’s had about enough of that. With hardly more than a thought, he whisks Mark away elsewhere, wherever elsewhere may be, and rolls out his Hall of Memories.

And prays.

They used to pride themself on being unflappable, before, and he can see shades of it, now: their face remains the same, alert but not startled as they take in the paintings, the dust swirling in the beam of their flashlight.

He knew the truth of that, though, and it, too, remains; you need not look at their face for their feelings, but their hands.

Though one holds the flashlight, all ten fingers are in motion— tapping the length of the flashlight, curling and uncurling in their sleeve, the belt loop, the zippers and buttons of their bag. Moving for comfort, perhaps— certainly no expression of joy, as the rest of them is ramrod-straight, stiff with each step.

He longs— longs, what is happening to him— to say something to ease the anxiety, raise the darkness, but he can’t. This is no matter he can explain with soft, comforting words and a pot of tea. His powers aren’t of light at all.

They can, though, reach an electromagnetic signal, and now that they’re alone, he pushes through his thoughts.

Finally, you’re away from him. Aren’t you tired of it?

What?

He’s running you ragged. Don’t you feel like you’re running in circles?

That’s not what he said— not quite, anyway.

They won’t tell you anything. No one seems to question it.

Why can’t he change it?

I know you’re in there. But I thought you’d see through it.

The final painting, of the monster himself, grinning like a fool. It begins to crumble before them both— they step back, fingers tight around both phone and flashlight— and Dark gets a split second of pure dread before—

Before—

My villain. I wrote everything. Even you.

It’s not painful. It’s not— it’s not even close to the searing split of the dreamworld, nothing to the pain in his stolen body, nuts compared to his shattered leg almost a century ago. It doesn’t hurt at all.

He almost wishes it did.

“Same snake, different skin,” he muses, and something inside him quails at the sight of fear— truly, rare fear— in their eyes when they turn to take him in. “Always spinning his yarns, his webs, his lies.”

He means to say it. He means to say he’s nothing but a monster in human skin, that they’re being dragged one way or another at his whims— he doesn’t mean to sound so… angry. So—

Villainous.

He screams, though it doesn’t come out— not of this body. Instead, there’s the discomfort of a fragment, juddering, lashing void in every direction. He only keeps enough sense to keep it away from them.

Without him— without him!— his body paces, a smile too similar to Mark’s on his face. “Perhaps we’ve met a hundred times already, and you simply don’t remember it. Perhaps you’re tired of me repeating myself over and over and over and over again!”

He’s seen them a hundred times, but have they met? Has he said anything to them, his desperate wish for them to remember and leave simply that, a wish?

No. This is Mark’s doing, but he’s far from the only one with power. Dark pushes past the discomfort, past the fragments that shatter out of him, and tries to touch it. Tries to see what, exactly, controls him.

It’s a web.

Not unlike a spider’s, really, glimmering threads of words in several different directions, coalescing into bright points of light wherever they meet.

Ah, the choices. Planned for, then— prolonging the make-believe.

He sees an island man. He sees a brilliant scientist. He sees a pirate, an adventurer, a prisoner. He sees their end a dozen times, more, always coming back to the start.

He sees himself— but his point, his thread, is loose.

Not so in control now, are you, Mark?

They must know. They have to know.

With what little wriggle room he has, he reaches out— and changes a couple letters. One at each point. Nothing shifts, nothing breaks, but something is different— hopefully, different enough for his clever attorney to find.

They’re the sharpest he’s ever known. If anyone could, it’s them.

He settles back into his body, still speaking without him— without him!— and pacing before a desk. It doesn’t feel so wrong with his newfound confidence… in fact—

“You want answers.” He smiles to himself, happy to have control again, and for the hell of it, picks up the glass of wine— seemingly, so kindly provided for by the writer. “Well, games were always his forte.”

He’s not sure of the vintage, or even sure of the varietal, given the monochrome nature of his Void, but he takes a sip, anyway.

He tries hard not to gag, but can’t hide his wince. For all his budget, Mark hardly splurged on something decent, it seems.

Suppose that’s the loss of his wine cellar at work.

“But allow me this one moment of self indulgence.”

He sets the wine down. Neither of them will be partaking of it.

“Excuse me—“

He stops, holding the box— the conduit in this little foray into pretend— and looks at them from atop the desk. They’re— smiling a little. Not big, but it’s theirs, and if his heart still beat— “Yes?”

“Why’d you pick that wine if you didn’t like it?”

He wants to laugh. Oh, he wants to laugh at that, because in the face of— quite frankly— something frightening and beyond their control, they’re teasing it. He loves them.

He loves them.

“I didn’t,” he admits, truthfully. There’s something so warm in his chest, something he can’t prevent from showing on his face, so fond. “Sometimes we take what we’re given, for better or for worse. This game, for instance. This box.

“So much trouble, all for something so small.” He looks to them curiously, smile fading. “Do you want to know what’s inside this box?

“I didn’t imagine we’d have to be in sewers to get it,” they add dryly. “After all this, I definitely want to know, and it has to be something worth it, or else.”

He’d laugh at the thought, them tearing into Mark for dragging them over hill and dale, but he’s seen what lies ahead. They’ll have time to do it, and the nudging at his body indicates he’s rather short of time himself. “Well, I know how much you like a good game, so throughout your… adventures, I’ve hidden codes. Several codes. Find them all, and you’ll get your truth.”

They don’t look especially pleased at that, but the light comes into their eyes despite the slump of their shoulders— the light that kept them up all night with an encyclopedia or three, classes next morning be damned. “More games. Why am I not surprised?”

They eye him for a few long seconds, brow furrowed, even as the Void rumbles and sparks around them both. It’s too familiar, as if they’re reading him down to his core. “You aren’t Mark, are you? Not some character. But… you’re so familiar. Who… who are you?”

He could give them his name. It might spark something for them, kickstart whatever process they need to regain their memory of what happened. He wouldn’t even care if they screamed at him for all he put them through.

The Void, though, shakes and cracks, and he shakes his head with a slight frown and a mountain of regret. He has a modicum of control, still, but not fully. Not right now. “That’s all I’m going to give you.”

They open their mouth, but the Void winks them away, gone to their next run.

All he can do is sit and watch from here.

#fg writes #wkm fic #wkm fanfiction #ego fanfiction #darkiplier #actor mark #other markiplier egos #y/n district attorney #mayor attorney

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emwheezie · 8 months

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A redraw with updated character designs! I was a senior in high school when I drew the first one.

I'm so happy with all the updates and changes we've been making on this comic. Hopefully I can spend the day working on more of the script.

Ultimately, my goal is to finish the comic script. I hope I can get to drawing it all, but if I can't I'd be happy enough with sharing the script. I just gotta get this story out there... we've been working so hard for years on this!

The past couple months we're been going ham on editing and rewriting cringe stuff we wrote in high school for this... And not to toot our own horns, but the storyline goes hard. It's gotten good... 16 year old me would puke at what the story has become. (puke in a good, OMG WE WROTE THIS? sort of way!)

Like??? Okay I'll let you in on a little secret, FOR SOME REASON, Oli, the blonde (previously black and red hair) character, was named BART for the first like 9 years of his existence??? He started off as a joke character and was from a trio of irrelevant characters named Bart, Snart and Tart (cause rhymes were so funny to us at 15) . Somehow his character shot up to being our problematic fav and we gave him a whole personality and stuff and got rid of his rhyming companions.

We just couldn't take him seriously anymore when we finally came back to work on this again... For so long we were hesitant to change any major details about the characters and storylines. We decided to try out new names and settled on Oli, and once we made that change, so many excellent changes and edits came about and the story became something we can actually be proud of now.

AaAAAAaahhh I'm just so passionate about this project right now. I'm so in love with the story and all the characters and I can't wait to share more soon.

If you read this far, BIG MCTHANKIES, you da best! (and I hope I'm making some sense cause I've been up all night working again and I did not proof read any of this!!!! :D)

#artists on tumblr #illustration #art #digital illustration #oc #original character #original comic #collage art

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goodlucksnez · 7 months

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nik/o/lai & fy/o/dor time!!---it is past my bed time so I am going to sleep now--please if you like it--write comments/reblog so i can read them in the morning!

summery: nik/o/lai has a cold and fy/o/dor is kinda being a jerk about it, but does it in a teasing way!

Kinda shippy if you squint their relationship is so toxic so i kinda played into that-sorry i just wanted to try out the rat man voice

CW:sneezing, whining, hitching,begging,mentions of mess, mentions of punishment/abuse

do not reblog to non-kink blog

18+

minors do not interact/fuck off

Also the script can be found here I recommend reading it because there are things/actions that i could not voice act: https://docs.google.com/document/d/12u7v_MNuZZj-3EZvwh7BMGxyzv5Au421XCT-JFA2yB4/edit?usp=sharing

also as a note i have scheduled posts to go through the end of nov-I will be in grippy sock so i might not be able to respond but hopefully i will be back for December < 3 i love you all and i really appreciate your time and patience

#sneeze #snez #audio #sneezy #snezaudio #sneezeaudio #audio post #b/sd snz wav #b/sd #n/ikolai #nik/o/lai #fy/o/dor #i hope you all enjoy #poor rat man hahah

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wutheringmights · 3 months

Note

AUTHORS COMMENTARY FOR NEW CTB PLSSSSS😭😭😭

Thank you! I would be more than happy to explain myself.

My commentaries have, historically, been a pain in the butt to read on a formatting level. I have attempted to fix this by breaking up the commentary into labeled sections. Consequently, this led to me writing out way more than I normally would.

So, enjoy.

[The Past]

Pre-Festival & Festival Day

As I mentioned previously, I wrote a significant part of this past section for the last chapter-- all the way up until Link asks for Icarius’s name. I ended up cutting the chapter into two for space, which meant that there was a few weeks between writing the first and second half of the icarius stuff.

I really did not spend as much time with the latter half as I wanted to, and I think it suffers for it. I’ll elaborate on that in a second. Let’s try to stick to talking about the chapter in a somewhat chronological order.

I joked about this last weekend, but Jakucho is extremely funny for hearing Link speculate about Icarius and Nephus and deciding, “Yup. Not my problem. Have fun with that.” Of course, she thinks he’s obsessed with Nephus and not Icarius.

Gaze upon my weak attempt to confirm Ayane is trans. I think this might have been a bit of a clunky way to do it. I never know how to get characters to confirm their identities without it sounding too much like a script read. Hopefully, this was at least clear if not entirely blatant.

Holidays are such an important part of world building, and I think it is very silly when you are in a fun little fantasy world and they celebrate not-Christmas or the like. That being said, sometimes you are so exhausted of any ideas that you have to sit down and say “Fuck it. Off-brand Halloween.”

That being said, having a holiday to mourn the loss of the Sacred Realm feels fitting for the world, even if the inclusion of masks was a bit clunky.

I really do think an under-explored area of Zelda lore is that the goddess’s realm is just... gone. Corrupted. Where are the goddesses now that the Sacred Realm is the Dark World? Is there a holy crusade to restore the Dark World to the Sacred Realm? I think Nintendo could do a dark fantasy spin off about this. Or when I finally get around to running that Hyrule homebrew DND campaign I have been cajoling my friends into playing, I’ll make it a plot point.

Now that I am typing this, I am realizing that I really should have had a little moment where all the masks forces Link to remember the child. Fuck.

In my original vision, Icarius was going to be very polite and quiet while at Jakucho’s estate, only for his next scene to be him snarking at some guys during a bar fight. What a bait and switch that would have been.

When I was a kid, I genuinely thought that the keaton mask was supposed to be a Pikachu mask (in part because I had only seen it in my cousin’s copy of Super Smash Bros). Hence, the yellow fox vs yellow mouse banter.

Link’s House / Icarius Backstory

Writing Icarius and Link banter was surprisingly difficult. I have this whole vision in my head about these two being loving to verbally spar with each other. And for some reason, the dialogue was just not flowing the other day.

And by the other day, I mean that a part of my major revisions the day of posting was to fix this entire section. Did it work? Not really. But I got a D grade prose up to a B-, and that was going to have to do.

My biggest gripe is their conversation in Link’s house, where Icarius info-dumps his entire backstory. In my brain, this scene would have felt dark and moody while still being a little romantic. They definitely hit all the points I needed them to hit for the plot, but it just... it’s so stilted. It doesn’t feel like Icarius is unloading years-worth of grievances on someone who he can trust to listen, if only for a night. It feels like Icarius is reading from a script. Ugh.

There was going to be an in-story explanation from Icarius as to why his hair is bleached that never actually came up. For those curious, it’s that Nephus had the grand idea first to bleach his hair but was worried it wouldn’t look good. So he had Icarius dye his first. Sure enough, he thought it looked terrible and decided to not go through with his end. Icarius was going to be very annoyed by that and would bitch about how long it would take for him to grow it out again.

I originally was not going to give him the bleached hair to begin with, but after everyone made fun of Warriors for not recognizing him in the first place, I felt like I had to make a significant change to his appearance. It actually helped to get him to play the role I needed him to play in Link’s post-war problems.

Let’s rewind. In my original outline, Icarius was never here in Kakariko. This entire chapter would have instead been Link deciding on his own terms to get over his hang-up over being involved with men and going out to flirt with one. This would have been a random soldier who had been discharged and was just passing through town on his way home from the war. Link would have subconsciously been attracted to him because he resembled the engineer.

For example, he would have made some comment about liking how strong his hands were.

This soldier was truly going to be a random guy. At most, he would have mentioned rooming with a friend on-leave named Arlo (who appeared earlier in story as a soldier in the trenches). The whole point was that Link felt like he could connect with another person as long as he didn’t give them a chance to look too deeply into him.

But after the House of Nephus characters were all introduced, I realized I needed to find some way to elaborate on them. Switching out the random soldier for Icarius was the easiest move.

Does it work? Kinda? It definitely helps the obsession plotline, but the original point got lost among all of the Icarius backstory.

So, Icarius backstory. I feel terrible for everyone who was looking forward to Link being swept away in a beautiful, touching romance. I tried to warn you.

Icarius and his relationship with Nephis is fascinating to me, and I really feel like I only have time to scratch the surface. Icarius is very smart, but believes that Nephus is one the “good ones.” But he can see that Nephus is starting to lose respect for him, so he plays these tricks to remind him that he’s still needed. He knows its foolish but his entire like has encompassed Nephus and he’s scared to know what it would look like without him. It works for a while, but not long enough. The reader knows that it stops working because that smart mouth of his that always picks fights gets taken away.

And that’s not even addressing the greater society Icarius lives in or the way Philo’s addition changes things for him even more.

All that’s to say that even if Icarius is not the perfect romantic lead people were hoping for, I intended to suggest in-story that if either him or Link were in different circumstances, there could be something there.

I actually really like the idea of Warriors’s love interest being an agent of an enemy state who is mean to him in the exact way he thinks is hot. Instead of inventing Hylian soldier or Sheikah warrior OC’s to be Warriors’s love interest, can there be more of this? It doesn’t even need to be Icarius. I just think falling-in-love with-the-enemy-but-the-enemy-is-a-shithead-about-it is an extremely funny dynamic.

There is also nothing funnier than Icarius thinking he’s met a nice, normal guy only to realize mid-act that he Messed Up

Also I hope this contexts helps fill-in the blanks for some of Icarius’s actions in the present day, which is no doubt a lot of “oh crap, it’s that guy I screwed that one time” and “how dare you forget about the one time we screwed!”

Post-Icarius Timeskip

I really needed to spend a few days at least on that last bit about Link’s realization. It’s so pivotal for his character, and I really just shoved it in at the end there. I’m going to have to add a lot of flowery prose to the beginning of next chapter to make up for it.

That being said, it’s important to me that there really isn’t a specific trigger for him realizing what he’s done. He just finally feels comfortable and safe enough for his brain to start processing everything he did.

It was very important to me that Link decided to stop dwelling in his past by putting a bowl into his cabinet, only for that bowl to break when he realizes what he’s done. Symbolism and stuff.

[Present Day]

Ganondorf’s Arrival & Townhouse

I’m really happy that so many of you were excited for Ganondorf’s arrival last chapter. That scene was so cheesy that I was worried it would dampen the excitement of actually getting to see him.

Originally, Ganondorf and Lincoln were going to have their argument in a bedroom, but I moved it to the foyer for convenience sake. But in my mind, I never moved Lincoln’s starting place from hiding in Ganondorf’s room, hence why he started the scene at the top of the stairs and not a more logical spot (in the hallway).

The reason it was going to be in the bedroom was because I thought Lincoln had snuck past Ganondorf’s guards and housestaff. But they all know about Lincoln, so it made more sense for Lincoln to subtly enter through the back entrance. It’s a whole thing.

I think my favorite part of the Chain already being at Ganondorf’s house is that there’s an implied subplot that happened off-screen where they plus Lincoln had to go hunting for where they thought Ganondorf was staying.

When Spirit pretends to not know who Ganondorf is, there was going to be a joke where the boys are trying to explain everything and he’s like “oh, so we’re all being racist here.” I ended up cutting it because, well, they were being racist.

Speaking of which, the whole thing with the maid calling Warriors “my lady” is that Warriors was going to try to gently correct her (because he thinks she’s stupid), only to find out that she was just being passive aggressive

Some may remember that one of the hardest cuts I made to CTB was a reporter OC. You can definitely tell that I am massively regretting that cut right now. Imagine how could it would have been for Warriors to pressure this antagonist journalist who’s been reporting all his fuck-ups into helping him fix everything. That sub plot would have been so good.

I was going to have a few of the other heroes confront Warriors as to why he credited Zelda, reaching a similar conclusion that his narration provided. Ended up cutting it for space.

A lot of the black blood stuff that I came up with for this chapter really doesn’t hit with LU, but at this point, I really don’t care.

There’s something about how Spirit viewing monsters and humans the same resulting in him very easily killing people while also being the only one who would realize that black blooded monsters could have always been cured, had anyone thought about it before. I just enjoy the way this man thinks.

Also, Spirit really enjoying spicy food is such a stupid character quirk, and I am almost ashamed of how much effort I went to develop it. Originally, I wanted Wild to get so fed up with Spirit being unimpressed with his cooking that he would demand Spirit to cook one night, only to discover that he actually can’t cook and just overcompensates with a shit-ton of hot sauce.

Ganondorf’s speech about how to win a war is partly the result of me spending months ruminating about how the Triforce could be used to end a war ethically, and partly an exploration of how Ganondorf thinks

I wanted to do one last scene of everyone leaving, where Wind would confront Time about being an asshole to Ganondorf. I cut it for space, then convinced myself that I would have time to add it back in, only to then cut it for time. My apologies to the Wind fans who have gotten nothing as of late.

Hospital & Family Dinner

I said before that I wasn’t initially going to rescue Toto until the end, which means that I had no plan for how Toto would feel until now. I realized that Toto was just... done. He wanted no part in Warriors’s life any longer. Unlike Kat, who got a lovely send off, I think this will be the last we see of Toto: an unfinished, unresolved mess of emotions.

When I was first describing Lincoln’s casual fit, I remember thinking to myself that I was just describing a semi-retired aged rockstar. The image has not left my brain, and if I was willing to throw a few more anachronisms into the story, I would have 100% described Lincoln like that.

Fun fact: Orlanda’s family was going to come back in the form of her sibling being a prominent member of the rebellion. I didn’t do it because it was getting ridiculous how many relevant people were related to each other.

When I was first coming up with Linkle’s character, I had the idea that she had that shallow form of feminism where it’s a big win for women everywhere when, say, generic action heroine wears pants. So I had it in my mind that Linkle hates dresses on principle. So during the fever dream sequence, when Warriors dreamt that Linkle was fawning over a dress, it was to show that he didn’t really know her that well.

But I never really established this idea that well and no one knew this about Linkle, so into a dress she goes.

I told myself that I was going to scour the entire story to double check if I had ever described Lincoln laughing anywhere, but never got around to it. But the nice thing about unreliable narrators is that if I get something wrong, I can just blame Warriors (that is not really how unreliable narrators work)

I have a friend who “tee-hees” while she laughs, and it’s the cutest thing ever. I just think it would be fun if Lincoln also has an adorable little kitten laugh.

I had to look up how they build roads on dunes for this chapter.

I did write the full Lincoln and Ganondorf backstory in a post way back when, if anyone wants to review it. It would be nice to get to get all the small details into the main story, but it’s really not pertinent to any of the main action

I definitely talked about Niko before, but I can’t find the posts. To refresh: Niko is Spirit’s uncle, in that he’s a member of the Macaryll family but no one can remember who he’s actually related to. Spirit’s parents are dead, and he lived with a different uncle and aunt until his apprenticeship. Then he moved in with Niko since he lived near Alfonzo.

Warriors hating chocolate is a character quirk that’s not necessary to the story, but I just think is too funny to not go out of my way to include

The idea of Linkle and Lincoln dancing came from a completely different scene idea. I played around with doing a similar set-up while the Chain is on the road to the Zora’s Domain. The scene would start with Sky showing Lana how to do a Skyloftian dance, which would lead to everyone else showing off their moves. When Warriors admits that he doesn’t think he could dance anymore, Spirit would teach him a New Hyrulean dance that required only one hand.

That led to an idea of Warriors dancing with Linkle and Lincoln, then just Linkle and Lincoln dancing themselves.

The night was going to end with Warriors forgetting his scarf and, when he went back to get it, he would overhear Lincoln venting to Ganondorf about how the whole stepping up as the parent thing is going. This got cut because it’s more fascinating when you’re forced to infer that a character is thinking.

The Walk Back & Out Dancing

This scene of Warriors and Spirit walking back together and opening up is my real pride and joy this chapter, which unfortunately got massively overshadowed by everything else.

So I will now take time to gush.

Spirit’s photography... so I wanted to give this man a hobby because the man cannot just like trains. I know everyone headcanons it as his hyperfixation, but it’s also his job. He needs a richer life than just that one thing. Granted, I took the route of making him start as a trainspotter like the Spirit Tracks NPC Ferrus.

I just feel like I am so correct about Spirit liking photography. I want this to be my cultural impact. I know I said that already about Icarius, but I mean this more. Go forth and give that man a camera.

The official document Spirit was carrying around was his engineering license.

Also, I was 100% ready for everyone to flood me with questions about Spirit’s ex-boyfriend. After the ickywars ordeal, I figured that there was a significant chance y’all wouldn’t be normal about him. I was prepared. And you know what? I’ve heard zilch. So, let me info dump about this man now.

Spirit’s ex-boyfriend is named Jean. He is on the cusp of 30 (compared to Spirit’s 23/24). He’s a mechanic, which is a few steps below Royal Engineer. He lost his leg in a work accident when a piece of machinery fell on him. They met through work. Spirit goes through phases of being a serial dater before swearing off dating for a few months, but Jean is the first person to make it past an awkward first date and hit relationship status. Spirit thought that because he was older, he would be more understanding.

And Jean tried. He really did. But Spirit is massive defensive and always on the offensive, so every slight disagreement turned into an explosive argument. Jean decided that he could not deal with someone who could not have a rational conversation with him, so he dumped him after 6 months. This was fairly recent, about three months before Spirit returned to Warriors’s era.

Spirit was going to name drop Jean in his speech later, but I couldn’t figure out a way to make it clear who Jean was without it sounding awkward.

I really like Spirit and Warriors’s conversation about Icarius, if only because it shows where their communication fails. When Warriors insists that you have a duty to disobey bad orders, he is criticizing himself for falling into the military mindset. This sounds like a criticism to Spirit, who insists that people will do anything under orders because that is what he did.

After Warriors has spent nearly every chapter since his amputation bemoaning his disability, I really wanted there to be a moment where he realizes that just because his ability level is different, he doesn’t have to give up doing everything he loves. That’s just an important lesson for him to learn, even if it is a little inspiration-porn-y.

The Hot Mess

You might realize that there is a massive elephant in the room I am not going to discuss here. That is because this post is going into the main tag. No one has complained to me yet, but let’s not tempt anyone right now. Just like the Neck Thing, I’ll make a separate post later for anyone who wants it. Just remind me in a few days.

With that being said--

Them sharing a cigarette was another scene that was originally conceived as taking place during the trip to the Zora’s Domain. Spirit’s anecdote about failing to make friends would have served as an early hint about his loneliness and inability to make friends.

I also have never smoked a cigarette before, so I had to sit there on wikiHow reading up on how to smoke one without coughing.

The half in Spirit’s four and a half attempts at quitting is this time he decided to quit, only to relapse after three hours. It was too short to count as a full attempt.

Spirit’s speech hopefully reveals what exactly is Spirit’s problem, both how he sees it and how it really is. Unlike Warriors, he never found support and healing once the war ending. No one understood his experiences, and his coping mechanism of lashing out ward away anyone who could help him. Spirit just wants to feel better, but he doesn’t know how.

Like... his whole thing about starting his own garage-- he’s a child prodigy who is used to be good at the things he does. He ended up tarnishing his own reputation, so he threw himself back into work because working on trains and fulfilling his dream is supposed to make him happy. He’s successful, but he’s not satisfied.

I was also expecting people to have a ton of questions about why Alfonzo disowned Spirit. In short, Spirit was already on a thin line with his lashing out and shitty attitude. Alfonzo was willing to let that slide until he realized Spirit was breaking work regulations to go on more runs without taking the legally required amount of time to rest inbetween. Spirit was a legal liability. He fired Spirit, but made it very clear that he was doing him a favor by not reporting him and getting his Royal Engineering license suspended.

No one else in New Hyrule knows the real reason why Spirit was fired, so they all assumed it was his personality. So he has a bit of a reputation now for being hard to work with.

Another thing that was not 100% conveyed in Spirit’s speech was that even if he didn’t hurt Zelda, he could not be with her because he does not want to be Prince Consort. His experiences in Warriors’s Hyrule thoroughly scared him off from politics, though he would have refused anyway since he would never give up being an engineer.

Fundamentally, Spirit is an extremely lonely person who has felt abandoned by everyone in his life. He knows that his life is the way it is now because of his experiences with Warriors. His guiding principle is trying to find some way to fix himself so that he can get the life he was supposed to have, one where he is happy and loved.

I just... god, I love this character.

And then there’s Warriors, who feels like he not capable of change and that any opportunity he has to change has been denied to him. Fixing Spirit and Time’s relationship was supposed to be a part of his redemption. Making Spirit happy was supposed to mean he’s forgiven. He has no friends, not in the Chain or in Toto. No one needs him.

Warriors also just means so much to me. I adore this disaster of a human being.

Warriors’s Plan Out

Does Warriors’s plan make sense? I am assuming it does since no one expressed confusion, but nearly every comment thus far has exclusively been about the Hot Mess (understandable).

There was a reason I was peeved I had to cut every chance in earlier in the story to go back to Castle Town, and it’s because I’ve known that it was going to be an extremely important location.

Warriors choosing to forgo a glorious revolution in favor of maintaining (if not manipulating) the status quo is not a great philosophy for our protagonist to be spouting in 2024. In my defense: a) I came up with this story in 2021, which was a different real world landscape, and b) Warriors would never become this ideal hero.

It feels more true for Warriors to not really become the idealized hero. His best is not that great. But if he can’t help being the worst, he could at least use his methods for good.

I have mentioned before that I have low empathy. Lincoln’s speech about people naturally being better or worst at being good is a product of a lot of my musing about how I sometimes feel frustrated and resentful at how hard I find it to follow the social cues that would make me a “better person.” Wouldn’t I be a better person if I had an easier time recognize when someone is in trouble and needs my help. Instead, I have to depend on myself to remember the cues, and I am so prone to mistakes.

I want to be a kind person. I want to be the best person anyone has ever met, but it’s an uphill battle. I feel like I am always working against myself. But it’s still important that I make the choice every day to be kind to others.

Besides, I have been told that I am more kind and helpful than other people, if only because I don’t rely on my feelings when deciding to reach out to others. So it has its perks.

I’m not saying Warriors has low empathy. I have expressly written him as someone with empathy. But my philosophy that kindness and caring for others is an active choice just felt like it belongs here.

There is story-canon low empathy character that I wanted to reveal in story to help Warriors beat the accusations and get people to not armchair diagnose him. I am still holding out hope I will have time and space to explore this in story, but if I don’t--

Four is written to have low empathy. It’s a consequence of the Four Sword splitting up his emotions, making it extremely difficult to tap into more than one emotion at a time, much less his empathy towards others. He can feel how this change in himself and has some thoughts on the whole thing.

Is that the end of the chapter. Fuck yeah. I’ve been working on this since Monday, If you read all this... congrats! I hope it was worth it.

Also, I forgot to mention that this is the end of Act 5. My act system is a scam and not that important, but I figured I should let you all know.

#your bonus fact is that i misspelled ganondorf's name about twenty different ways while writing this chapter #the swiftness and volume of demands for a commentary was very funny #y'all really wanted me to explain myself #bonus bonus fun fact is that it took all my will power to not formally name the chapter the Hot Mess #but like the neck thing we will just have this informal title for the scene in question lol #me rambling #lu ctb #ask #linked universe #anonymous #ctb spoilers #ctb commentary #ctb lore #fallenleafofmaple #meanlesbean #shoot-i-messed-up #savimatteo2810

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alicentsswornshield · 10 months

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@wolfie-1221 posted a list of their fav rhaenicent fics 🤌 10/10 recommendations

I've been inspired to share my own list since I've been spending probably too much time on ao3 - hopefully it will be helpful for anyone looking to start reading rhaenicent (note that few are already mentioned in the above mentioned post)

My top 5 (in no particular order):

(WIP) Seven (by @comicxgrl)

The story follows two alternating timelines and you're equally invested in both. It's so so well written, you fall in love with the characters immediately, the pacing of the story line is incredible and with only 5 chapters published, I think story is slowly set up for the main arc. The author is an architect and you can feel the thought process and clear intention behind every line and action.

(WIP) Out of sun (by @lumyart )

Rhaenyra and Alicent share a complicated past. Skip 10yrs later, Alicent is an excellent surgeon, has three kids and a husband. Their paths cross again when Targaryen Enterprises start being involved with Alicent's hospital.

Tags for this story are #bdsm #makingkinkemotional #emotionalslowburn - I think that's all you need to know?

I feel like it's really hard to write about bdsm w/o making it feel gratuitous. That's not the case here. @lumyart involves it as one of the main plot points of the story. It explores the emotional/psychological reason/need behind kinks and how those relationships differ etc. The push and pull in their relationship is dizzying, as the story progresses we get snippets of their past and what went wrong between them and how did they get where they are now. It almost feels like you're uncovering a mystery. There's many layers to the story and each chapter gifts you one piece of the puzzle.

See also: Blame it on Fate (morning show au we deserved) | silver sparks (wish this was the s02 hod script)

Love is complicated (by @molter-writes)

Absolute favourite of molter's fics and that's really hard to decide on.

This story made me want to start a campaign to get @molter-writes to actually write a rhaenicent Notting Hill AU.

Don't even read the summary. Just read everything and anything by @molter-writes , it will always deliver strong writing, a compelling storyline and characters that you can't help but fall in love with. See also: (WIP) leaf and blade | (Completed) grey ridge (ríl liatroma) | (Completed) ride the dragon (and do it quickly) | (WIP) song of the exposition

(WIP) Lying (in the hollows of your heart) (by @wakesirens)

I usually read only modern AUs (because of the misogyny in Westeros, I have enough of that irl thanks) but this fic is amazing nonetheless. Keeping Baelon alive and him being king gives us an alternate version of Rhaenyra's life. One where she's his most trusted advisor and representative of the Crown but she's not bound to the throne/realm in same way as the heir. This allows her to still attain power and freedom usually not afforded to women. Oh and Alicent works in a brothel.

What you wanted (by mrdcai)

Berlin, spies, complicated past, angst

Again it's just excellent writing! This one only has 1/3 chapters out but I'm already convinced that it deserves to be among top five fics. Only downside is that the story will only have three chapters, though a part of me is hoping that the author will change their mind and make it a longer story.

Side note, I keep imagining Alicent as Olivia Cooke's character from Slow Horses... great spy/thriller show btw

See also: Desire (I want to turn into you)

Some other fics I loved:

(WIP) Honey, make this easy (by nerdsofdeath)

Alicent is a history professor at university and Rhaenyra is her new TA. It's a slow burn and v angsty 😭

Midnights Like This (by pure_black_wings)

College AU, they're two idiots in love that don't know how to cope.

War of Hearts (by Silanahfire)

Rhaenyra Targaryen is barren and the realm needs an heir. The King and Grand Maester Mellos found a solution in the scripts of Old Valyria. Alicent Hightower will carry her child, even if the estrangement between the two seemed impossible to end. An arranged marriage waits both.

(WIP) You Broke Me (by skullgamerscy)

Angst 😭

The Silver Queen and the Lady in Green (by Wandering Fan)

This is AU in every sense of the word. The author built a whole different world with its own lore. Very very slow burn

#rhaenicent #hotd #alicent hightower #rhaenyra targaryen #rhaenyra x alicent #rhaenyra and alicent #house of the dragon #rhaenicent fic #rhaenicent fanfic #rhaenicent fanfiction #pp

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waitmyturtles · 11 months

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Be My Favorite: I’m All Caught Up!

So two nights ago, I kind of lost it, HAPPILY, in a binge of Be My Favorite -- I’m here to report that I’m all caught up, I’m VERY SEATED for the ongoing episodes, and hopefully I can get it together to do episodic meta from here on out.

First off, I’d like to say, publicly, that I had written multiple times in previous posts that I would NOT be watching BMF after having watched SOTUS, SOTUS S, and Our Skyy x SOTUS for my Old GMMTV Challenge. I thought Krist Perawat’s acting in SOTUS, etc., was awful, especially compared to what Singto Prachaya was delivering. While Our Skyy x SOTUS was markedly better than the two full series, Krist wiping his mouth after the airport kiss still gave cringe, and I was like, peace out, cub scout, hope you never do another BL again.

I RECANT. Clearly, much has improved by way of Krist’s acting skill -- and, likely, by way of how GMMTV workshops their actors and scripts before filming a BL. (And I REALLY want to thank @rocketturtle4 here for going very hard in the paint for Arthit and tagging me in your post, because your SOTUS meta absolutely had me thinking about Krist’s acting again. That piece was part of the inspiration and urge that led me to pick up BMF. Thank you! Good things happen when you clown, friend!)

(As well, I want to note that while Krist’s reputation regarding homophobia has not, by way of general public judgment, been fully redeemed, that I think recent discourse surrounding the early days of the pressures of shipper culture and how his comments were received is very interesting to peruse -- especially for me, as I develop a MUCH sharper eye towards the toxic, negative impacts of shipper culture. This amazing dialogue between @absolutebl and @thelblproject has been EXTREMELY helpful to me in setting that history and context for me.)

So, with all that said:

Be My Favorite is a FABULOUS SHOW. The writing is SHARP, the acting is GREAT, and the chemistry between Krist and Gawin Caskey is SUPERB.

Catching up to episode 7, I want to review what I’m seeing as the major themes of the series, ones that I’m seriously enjoying:

1) As I noted in my Monday night liveblogs, this show is structured in part around the inspiration of a few old yt dudes philosophers and physicists regarding time, space, truth, and relative existence. We gots Nietzsche, Einstein, Orwell, and -- gah, the Thai writer of the book that Max was reading early in the series about Thai social hierarchy, and I cannot find the post that explains that book (if someone has the link for that post, please send, and I’ll edit it in here). (EDITED TO ADD: thank you to @grapejuicegay for sending me the link! The book Max was reading was The Face of Thai Feudalism, and here’s a wiki link for the book). Otherwise, receipts!

Just to recap what I wrote in underslept franticness on Monday night: the first of the old dudes to enter the ring of this series is Einstein, regarding time travel. I mentioned that I am a huge fan of Jack Finney’s Time and Again -- I loved that book in high school. It’s a fantasy about how the American government uses Einstein’s work on weight and light to understand the dimensional aspects of time, the present, the past, and the future, and how multiple existences may be present -- if you can create a pathway into them.

I don’t know at all if BMF is talking to Time and Again, per se, but it IS talking to Einstein and relativity, along with Nietzsche and what’s referenced in the slide above -- Nietzsche’s On Truth and Lies in a Nonmoral Sense (and, yooo: here’s the text! Read it! Everyone: READ MORE NIETZSCHE! Let’s meditate on power together when we have the time, eeee!)

I really want someone with a Ph.D to not allow me to say this, but let me offer a blasé summary of the text to say: what’s essentially being said in the dialogue between Einstein and Nietzsche is that truth is relative to the moment in time in which truth is being sought, and to the individual to whom the truth may have meaning. Truth is relative to the beholder of that person that is seeking truth.

In other words: what, exactly, is the truth that Kawi is seeking?

2) @respectthepetty (here) and @lurkingshan (here) are writing excellent meta on the dislikability of Kawi, and how this search for his “truth” is fucking him the hell up. First: I TOTALLY AGREE. This dude wants to spin that damn ball to find out if his life gets “better.”

And what we’re seeing is that he’s slowly relaxing the parameters of what “better” means. What “better” HAD meant to him, early on, was that he’d be in love with Pear, and that his dad would be alive. In episode 7′s rock star world, we see neither of those things happening; in fact, in none of his presumed worlds do we see that happening.

Besides Kawi’s dislikability, which I’ll get back to in a second, I just want to say:

Him jumping to world after world is SO important to this story, and I really like that this series isn’t trying to hone in on ONE world being THE RIGHT WORLD, because -- Nietzsche, Einstein, and Orwell aren’t necessarily the guys you want on the bench arguing in favor of a ONE RIGHT WORLD perspective. They’re the dudes who are like -- bend some light here (Einstein), throw in a linguistical concept there (Nietzsche), and add some questionable politics and power control issues (Orwell), and, well, you got some messy worlds there, my friends.

In other worlds: this show is set, per episode, in the world in which Kawi is existing at that moment. It has relativity to his other worlds -- because he’s an anchor in all these worlds -- but not one specific present moment is his absolute truth. YOW.

3) Sooooo, where does that get us? It gets us to episode 7, an episode that really moved us...“forward” (??) (ha) in this series. In that, Kawi changed enough in his initial state at the start of the series to create a new future for himself that was vastly different than the ones in which Pisaeng was going to marry Pear.

What I am loving about this series is that by being anchored by the influence of the philosophers, in part, that we get to see a lot more light into Kawi and Pisaeng. Pisaeng, as we now know, was pressured by his mother to stay in the closet at a young age (cc @brazilian-whalien52 and @respectthepetty on the linked post!).

What is your truth if you’re in the closet for so long?

In episode 7, Pisaeng has disappeared from the lives of his friends and Kawi for months. We don’t exactly know why at this point. But we get a hint at the very end of the episode -- that he is ultimately spending his time, possibly in multiple worlds, being patient for Kawi to come around to Pisaeng’s love.

Early in the series, as well, Kawi notes to Pisaeng that Pisaeng wasn’t being honest to Pear about not having feelings for Pear. I think this extrapolation has already happened in previous posts, but I’m not finding them at the moment, so let me give flowers to everyone who has said: that Pisaeng’s internal reality is also a world, a present, that Kawi doesn’t necessarily share by way of absolute reality -- in that, what Kawi demands of Pisaeng early on is relative revelation for the sake of the people around him. And how will Pisaeng’s truth affect others? How will it affect Kawi, how will it affect his mom? How does it affect Pear?

All of that is relative truth that each individual, involved in these circles, must translate AND accept and digest in their own individual, micro-level perceptions. Pisaeng’s own truth BECOMES a kind of truth that is slightly different for each person that’s receiving it.

4) And the same for Kawi. Except, we’re seeing it develop differently for Kawi. I think we have known, up until the end of episode 7, what “better” meant for Kawi, as I wrote previously -- Pear, his dad’s health, etc.

But I think we’re going to see a change in Kawi now (hopefully). We’re seeing that Pisaeng keeps returning to Kawi, in almost all the worlds, as Kawi improves himself and checks himself against his “present.” Surely, what we want to see in a BL is Kawi warming up to Pisaeng’s affections. The fact that time travel is the modality by which Kawi will experience that change -- vis à vis some VERY fascinating perspectives on what “truth” really means -- is FABULOUS.

It’s unique, because -- I think -- in the story of Pisaeng, do we see a macro commentary on the reality of being queer in majority cishet societies that may view queerness as dangerous or something to be kept secret, as Pisaeng’s mom indicates.

To keep one’s queerness in the closet -- FOR THE SAKE OF SOMEONE ELSE, damn it -- isn’t that a violation of one’s own truth? And one’s own reality?

5) And, final point (for now) (ha) is: a theme that’s been running through my head on this series is how both Kawi and Pisaeng CHALLENGE EACH OTHER TO CHANGE themselves. Maybe even... for “the better.”

Previously to all of this time travel stuff -- neither of them experienced external pressure to change their worldviews. Pisaeng was going to marry Pear as a closeted queer individual. Kawi was going to live out his life friendless and companion-less.

Instead, THROUGH the time travel, and through their growth in all of these different worlds -- BOTH of them have been forced to change.

I really like this lesson. One can become complacent. As Theory of Love so deftly demonstrated: behavioral change is really hard. But it might be a little less hard if you have a companion, a friend, maybe even a lover, going through similar changes as well.

Kawi is still dislikable, I think, because he’s not aware of either HOW or WHY he’s changing. But he’s changing, alright. He doesn’t have the context, yet, as to why this might be good for him.

Maybe the crystal ball will tell him that?

OR, MAYBE: he’ll come to realize that contentment in the present is ultimately what will give him the most happiness. As Pear said to Kawi during her wedding in episode 7:

“But as we grew older, lived our lives, and continued to make mistakes, we’d have to accept that this was the farthest that we could achieve.”

What Pear is saying here is: you can stop striving sometimes, Kawi. If you can just -- BE -- and accept that life is not PERFECT -- then your future WILL just BE the result of THAT work THAT YOU DO NOW, THAT WILL CONTAIN MISTAKES.

What I hope to see in the future episodes of this series is Kawi recognizing that that work is what will be his revelation, and his ultimate truth for himself -- the truth that makes him the most happy and fulfilled.

We’ll see. I haven’t even gotten into all the subtle references to Krist’s past that this script holds, but @lurkingshan is holding that down in her meta (yay, Shan!).

I am in LOVE with this show, and am SUPER EXCITED to join y’all in watching it! I am VERY IMPRESSED with GMMTV taking another chance on Krist in a BL, and Gawin was a perfect choice as an onscreen partner.

(CCing a few friends who were holding me down during my Monday liveblog, here ya go, some meta for ya -- THANKS FOR YOUR PREVIOUS FEEDBACK, FRIENDS! @dribs-and-drabbles, @grapejuicegay, @rocketturtle4, @chickenstrangers, @lurkingshan)

P.S. I FORGOT TO ADD:

GAWIN. CASKEY. DAMN. CAN THE HOMEY ACT, OR CAN HE ACT? He is SO GOOD IN THIS, MY GAWD! Their CHEMISTRY! MEEP!

#be my favorite #be my favorite meta #krist perawat #gawin caskey #kristgawin #kawi x pisaeng #pisaeng x kawi

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