#but man this thought haunts me

[astralzeraphias]

megatron’s holoform

#megatron #dot malto #maccadam #transformers #this has been haunting me for literal ages #every since i found out abt holoforms ive thought #’what if megatron’s holoform was really hot. what then. how would the humans feel then.’ #i’d apologize for making every character i like bisexual but im not sorry. so. bisexual dot :) #i dont actually ship these two. however. #earthspark #man i always forget to tag continuity

[topnotchquark]

Nico saying that Lewis gives his daughters boxes of presents every Christmas just got caught in my mind.

Imagine you were a mixed race boy born in Hertfordshire, different from everyone else around you. Bullied in school, being raised by your father to compete in a sport where money is very much of essence and you and your family do not have a lot of it. And then you meet this other boy who comes from the kind of life you dream to live one day. You're friends and fierce competitors. You find solace in each other. You visit Monaco for the first time with your friend, dreaming up the life you will have when you make it, when you beat out of the mould that the world thought it could capture you in.

And then you two grow through the ranks and you're at the pinnacle of your sport and you have what it takes to win and the world recognises that you can win. And you win. You win with your friend and fiercest competitor by your side fighting with you for those wins, and this fighting ruins something something that was valuable to both of you when you were still innocent and unsullied by life.

But despite everything that went into the doing and undoing of this relationship, you still realise that this person you once called a friend has a life and family beyond your bitter dynamic. He has children, and children need love and affection and good memories. And you're a better man now so you understand that. So you make sure the kids get gifts on Christmas. And you make sure of it every year. Afterall, if you met someone you loved deeply when you were both kids, wouldn't you feel a pang of nostalgia when they had kids. Wouldn't you try to extend the warmth that you couldn't find for your friend to his children. Afterall, whatever happens during childhood basically remains with you forever.

#and nico's perspective of the same is just #being bullied as a child and being profoundly lonely till you find this friend who is in many ways the yardstick for performance #and even when you go through all this rancidity and the love has almost evaporated down to bare bones politeness #you know there is something that remains deep down #and so he gets your kids Christmas gifts each year #both their childhoods were sites of pain and both of them found something with each other #and lewis honours that by being a positive presence in nico's childrens' lives #albeit from a distance #and of course we're no strangers to how much Nico loves his kids #you can bet if Lewis had kids Nico would do that same #sorry this caught in my heart a little #I knew he had been giving presents for a while and I always thought of that as very beautiful but seeing it on the tl made me remember #man #love haunts you in such peculiar ways forever #brocedes #lewis hamiton #nico rosberg #f1 #formula 1

[ibrithir-was-here]

Sooo I wrote a…weird little thing, a certain comic by @mayhemchicken-artblog got my creative juices percolating and under the press of staying up far too late for several days this came to fruition, enjoy!

The Eye of the Beholder

Link to the Comic

#my art #reincarnation #comics #tpodg #the picture of dorian gray #basil hallward #(why did he reincarnate as a girl with Dorian’s face? #cuz that was how the mad idea came to me at 2am #plus it’s easier to hide the ‘birthmarks’ with long flowing locks #my brain is weird ) #lord henry wotton #dorian gray #gothic literature #really the thought I had here was basically #man it would be so messed up to be haunting the body of the person who murdered you #especially if you loved them #and I think Basil deserves both a second chance and to get to be actually upset about that betrayal #even if as Rosemary she can’t really remember it #but also this is gothic fiction nobody just gets handed a happy ending you gotta work through stuff #sorry hon #tw body dysmorphia #tw stab wound #Rosemary is for Remembrance

[ba1laur]

hes so fine i wish catholic people were real

#wws design is so simple and yet i fighbt for my life trying to capture the essence and overall shape and its fun.its fun i love simple dsgn #ZAYN PLEASE STOP SMOKING IMGAGE JPEG #thoughts that haunt you while u draw ww: does my insane orthodox grandma think drawing a cross with a bodacious anime guy is blasphemy #am i goingto hell #wolfwood #wolfwood d nicholas #this gyus is like nicotine to lesbians uilove you wolf wood from tres pistole #insane. insane ass Drawing im sory people who follwed me for paleoart and you get this mans bodonks on your timelune fogrive me forgive me? #trimax #fanart tag #trigun #art tag

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

This is the start of something new

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#Poorly Drawn MDZS #MDZS #wei wuxian #lan wangji #season 1 #*I never knew that it could happen till it happened to me* #Listen there were so many good scenes I wanted to draw and maybe one day I will but dang #sometimes when there are too many good moments to draw in a summary comic you have to abridge them into something that gets the vibes #The teen boy shenanigans that wwx drags lwj into are fine and good and *funny* #but they are also 15 and 15 year olds will say whatever comes to mind whether its well formulated or not #Less of a gay awakening and more of a moment of realizing that theres a door labeled 'homosexual thoughts' in the back of the house #and someone just threw a baseball into the window of it #poor lwj for he now spends the rest of his teen and young adult years haunted by this moment #only to cultivate it into a garden in which he will one day marry this man #Live your life in a way that would make teen you implode -> my daily advice column wisdom #Side note: this comic is vertical because I...ran out of space on my page. I have been meaning to experiment though #might continue like this? Maybe...

[zeb-z]

Foolish going in with two totems as a part-totem who never, never uses totems. His screams for Leo as the ceiling caves in, trying desperately to throw her a totem through the barrier. Digging, trying to glitch, trying to problem solve in a situation so chaotic and so impossible, there’s just nothing he can do. Not leaving until his totem pops - until he can’t see Leo anymore. Repeating to himself that she was right there, just right there, he couldn’t even get her a totem, he couldn’t do anything.

Foolish staying behind to make sure Tina and Mouse get out, to make sure he sticks with Cellbit, telling himself he can feel it later, as long as they survive, he can feel it later - and running out of time. If he hadn’t stayed behind digging for Leo, he would have made it. If he hadn’t given all but one of his enderpearls to the others, he would have made it. If he wasn’t looking over his shoulder for Cellbit, he would have made it.

#I NEVER want to hear he doesn’t care about his family about Leo EVER AGAIN #his screams for Leo are going to haunt me for fucking ever #and that moment when someone dropped an apple and he thought for a second it was her hat and he started panicking I cannot take it #dude just everyone digging for the kids until they couldn’t see them dying to the falling ceiling #baghera staying behind. apologizing to red for it #max going out with his bomb going back to trumpet once and for all #Phil tearing his wings to get Tubbo to safety #I’m just. I’m at a loss. fuck this man #at least team bolas won phohodkghjsjdkskfhshfjfngj #mcyt #qsmp #qsmp purgatory #q!foolish #z speaks

[ultravviolents]

#sex lies and videotape #graham dalton #james spader #andie macdowell #steven soderbergh #quotes #debuting my blog with a depressing ass post is so on brand of me #anyways hello james spader nation!! #i love this man a normal and healthy amount (he's been haunting my every thought since january) #pls welcome me with open arms <3

[aroanthy]

the symbolism of revolutionary girl utena is key to understanding what it’s even trying to say narratively and thematically. if you remove the symbolism, if you remove the ways in which the narrative obfuscates itself and abstracts what it’s saying, then what it is saying changes dramatically. if rgu was like ‘yeah lol and did you guys know that incest is bad’ or ‘maybe gay people are good’ or ‘hey did you know that csa victims are Real and Alive and Have Interiority’— like those are all paraphrases of things that it says, but the way that it chooses to say them is so powerful and conveys so much nuance and complexity that those simplistic statements don’t. it provides an incredibly meaningful commentary on the way that systemic violence and abuse are covered up, codified, made part of our culture that supposedly resents those things. it’s examination of incest, the incest taboo and how that impacts incest victims— it’s all so incredibly considered and layered because the show chooses to convey what it’s saying through symbolism, through its metatheatrical framing, through allegory. it retains the reality of these issues; it shows them to us only when we’ve already bought into the system’s lies to make a point about how that operates, how that works to make us all complicit in that violence. nanami. nanami.

dont even get me started on how the movie uses its symbolism to demonstrate how the abuse anthy and touga experienced is simultaneously built into the world and culture they exist in, and always obfuscated and abstracted for the sake of their abusers (also specifically the way that it engenders shame and prevents people from seeking help. rgu is so damn good at understanding how and why people don’t ‘do what they should’ in abusive situations: the systems in place don’t fucking work bc they are an extension of the system built upon that abuse). anthy is the model in all the paintings, the symbol of so many undesirable things, the canvas on which they are painted. her likeness is used as an approximation for all of these awful things, many of which are a part of her in a way, but such that her interiority, her feelings, are never regarded, never seen, never understood. she’s the model. akio is never explicitly named as her painter.

#messy post once again just dumping thoughts #obfuscation abventures #< literally my thesis on the show. it would be peanuts to me without its layers of visual complexity its symbolism and allegory #its bonkers filmmaking. i mean my god editing rgu amvs gives you a greater appreciation for how they edited that show and MAN #the transfeminism hole video essay haunts me always. aou is anthy’s body!!!!!!!!!! the use of the static…. #the way that rgu uses looping and repeating shots and abrupt cuts (same w music) the pace it continually disrupts with its editing #its sooooo….. gahhh. ep 33. head in hands #rgu i love you rgu im sorry people would suggest you’d be better if you were more normal and conventional #this is why utena is a freaks only show. you have to go apeshit about the implications of shadow girl relationships to get it #didn’t even mention c-ko on this post like that SAYS something #dais.txt

[xenospects]

cursed image

#idk man #i mean idk #fun fact this thought has been haunting me for years ever since my first enstars era and now its executed #ensemble stars #enstars #eichi tenshouin #wataru hibiki #rei sakuma #keito hasumi

[transkingcobra]

Halsin’s arms are as thick as my head, how can I be expected to go to work and focus???

#halsin #rambles #no literally noticed this a while back taking ref screenshots for him and gwink tav #this thought haunts me #and I know damn well I’m shorter than the male gith tav #so my head is probably smaller than halsin’s arms #gods help me #mans huge #that’s not a man that’s a tree

[swagst0rm]

men who act like big shots and are actually losers

like geez slut ur not that cool get over yourself and let me fuck you already

#I love a good degenerate man #having thoughts abt barem again #he literally haunts me istg #katana man #barem #vox #hazbin adam #helluva boss mammon #in that order #csm #hazbin #helluva boss

[bruised-pixels]

Hey I have a question for the community

Who is nightlife render dj man and why is literally nothing he wearing in the actual game?

#ive thought about doing like my own take on these old renders and #this man vexes and haunts me #his hat his sunglasses the shirt the headphones #THE SWAG #ALL GONE AND MISSING #ts2 #the sims 2 #sims 2 #the sims 2 nightlife

[drunkonimagination]

sometimes i ask myself what it would be like to love so selflessly and intensely to the point that you can't help finding peace and solace at the simple thought of the happiness of the one you love even when that happiness doesn't include you and represents the most intimate reason of your own unhappiness and then i remember this panel from blue flag:

#that panel has been haunting my dreams since 2020 #blue flag #ao no flag #touma mita #taichi ichinose #i want to re-read it so bad #but i barely have time to draw 😭 #in june. big ao no flag re-read. new thoughtful posts about it. and new art of TOUMA MITA BEST MAN OUT THERE !!!! #(the fact that ive never drawn him......pretty homophobic of me)

[yellowloid]

thinking about that "there's nowhere for me to hide" quote that's been going around and the fact that it's actually the opposite. i know he's mostly talking about writing and yes when it comes to am he's the one doing (most of) the lyrical work on records as opposed to tlsp where him and miles are 50-50 and they have a whole different creative process than he does with am. but when it comes to being on stage, performing with am is actually the time he hides most. perhaps exactly because he's up there alone as a frontman, hence the need to "protect" himself by putting on a persona, a mask that can be conveniently taken off once he's hopped off stage (a theme that has been widely explored in the last albums, but really it's been there his whole discography - including obviously tlsp with the bourne identity and also his solo work with songs such as hiding tonight). but when he's up there on stage with miles, and miles is "up there singing with [him]", he says it gives him somewhere to hide because that 50-50 ratio that comes with writing translates to their stage presence as well. however one could argue that it's that same equal ratio that makes it so that he doesn't, in fact, hide at all when it comes to tlsp performances, and especially eycte era ones. because the knowledge that not all attention is on him, but rather distributed equally on the both of them, added to the reassurance that having miles there gives him, results in what is maybe his most genuinely maskless behaviour, of which we've seen countless examples during the 2016 tour. and although one could also say that that one, too, could partly be a persona in and of itself, the point still stands - he might be hiding in different ways depending on whether he's up there as the am or tlsp frontman, but being two halves of a whole with miles certainly didn't give him more of a hiding place. on the contrary.

#thoughts that haunt me while i'm trying to take a Normal&Peaceful Shower TM #mind you this isn't even about milex i just find it very interesting how he talks about being able to hide when he's up there with miles > #> as opposed to am. because bruh. that is the furthest thing from hiding we've seen on tour in 2016 #those were some of the most genuine antics/shenanigans/smiles/behaviours he's ever shown in 20+ years of career #it was just a man being silly with his best friend. not a single thought behind those eyes. except maybe one-- [gunshots] #but yeah it was just real. and he's real eith am too it's just. in a different way #something was in the air in 2015/2016 that made him not worry about putting on a mask and we'll never know what it really was #and i think that's incredibly interesting #alex turner #arctic monkeys #tlsp #ramblings #btw while reading this you have to imagine me putting him under a microscope. to study him

[lustrethings]

I wonder what crossed Highbottom's mind in the end, when he saw what Coriolanus actually looked like when he embodied all the cruelty and hate of his father; like did he even realize there was a difference? That the line between the ambition, hunger (literal and not) and the purely cruel thing Coriolanus becomes, had been crossed? Did he taste some sort of bitter satisfaction, because in the end, he was right (and was it worth it, really)?

Because it mirrors what Coriolanus Snow and Katniss Everdeen had decades later, specially that last dialogue, and so I have to wonder if Coriolanus also remembered that. Being in the other side of that conversation - finally getting to kill the old man who hated him for merely existing in a way that reminds him of his failures.

#the ballad of songbirds and snakes #coriolanus snow #casca highbottom #I'm so so so obsessed with the pattern repetition between generations when it pops up in narratives #Highbottom is one of the characters I genuinely dislike just because I just despise adults beefing with people 3 times younger than them #and the thing is that is true for Snow when he's older too #it's WILD that I only watched THG after knowing TBOSAS bc to me president Snow is a pathetically haunted old man #and I feel like that tilted the narrative in a very interesting way #the world is full of miserably haunted old man in power and they will destroy us really #and these man are creating more miserable people because that's what they do y'know #idk thinking thoughts I'm fascinated by Coryo's relationship with the people in his life all of them

[samglyph]

Growing way too fond of Peter “Parker” Yang, a man who is dead for the entirety of the show and has no speaking lines or flashback scenes to actually give him a personality. But who cares. He’s a nosy bitch who cares too much about strangers and if I think about him for too long I want to cry.

#it’s so SAD #once again. give me the transcript for part 26 so I can inject emotion into my veins #malevolent #faroe and Parker be like: time to haunt the narrative #also goddamnit now I want to design Parker #he’s gonna be the only normal man in the lineup #a hinged man #PLEASE fic writers write more alive Parker fics #I will draw you art #Ohohoho you know I just thought of a terrible su #au* where because John kills Parker with the books effects still happening #what if Parker’s soul instead of leaving for the dark lands or heaven or whatever #gets sucked in Arthur’s mind right behind John #oh the gears are turning #gonna call this the threes a crowd au