#but now all my thoughts are consumed by dragon age so i need to play

[bluupxels]

“No one ever saves people like us.” 

“We save us.”

#ts4 #sims 4 #ts4 edit #ts4 dragon age #dragon age sims #dragon age absolution #miriam #my sims #edits #YEAAAHHHHH #me watching her brutally murder people: that's my girl :') #im gonna make qwydion at some point too bc she's my wife #but now all my thoughts are consumed by dragon age so i need to play

[arabellasleopardcoat]

Speak now (Alicent Hightower x Reader) 

Summary: Alicent is not too sure of how she feels about you. Or about the fact you just proposed to run away. But she is sure about how she feels about the wedding. 

Warnings: Canon typical angst. Mature language. Violence. Screaming at Viserys. 

Requested: Yes! Enemies to lovers + Alicent. Not answered in the original ask because it contained two requests. 

Alicent stayed kneeling before the statue of The Mother. She paid no mind as Rhaenyra and you exited the Sept. The two of you were little more than a pair of heathens, in her eyes. Neither took seriously the worship of the Seven, believing in your foreign gods. 

Not her, though. She knew her duties. 

“Forgive me Mother, for I have sinned by pride in my abundant evil iniquitous and heinous thoughts.” 

And Alicent had. One would say, being the daughter of the Lord Hand himself and a close companion to the Princess, she was the most envied maiden in all the Kingdoms. Men praised her beauty, she was often called the prettiest girl at court. 

But as of late, Alicent had started to experience what most girls her age experienced when looking at her. And it was all because of you. 

A daughter of Corlys Velaryon, your arrival at court had come at the prompting of the King himself. He was looking to remarry, and who was better suited to the task than the eldest daughter of one of the last houses of Old Valyria? 

Everyone praised your grace and intelligence. You were nowhere nearly as beautiful as Alicent was, or so her father said. But you had the striking coloring of the Velaryons, and knew more languages than she could count. Light as a feather on your feet, dexterous as a hawk on your dragon, there was no way Alicent could compete. 

Rhaenyra had eyed you with distrust, then. She hated the idea of you sweeping in and taking her mother's place. Alicent, though, had been secretly relieved. Her father's plot had been trumped. 

The King had asked to take a walk in the gardens with you, one morning. You had gone, nearly shoved towards it by your father. Whatever it happened during that walk, you had both come back changed. The King, deathly pale, and you, triumphant with a grin like the sharpest steel. 

Your father had been angry, but had not dared to pull you from court. No, because whatever you had done to deter Viserys had cemented you as Rhaenyra's most trusted companion.  

Alicent had started to envy you, then. What was it about you that made you so fearless? Why could you say no to a man like Viserys? Her father said you had ruined your chance, but to Alicent, you had not. Instead, you had done the brave thing and fought for your freedom. And not only that. You had won. 

She wished she could be a little more like you. Women never won, in her experience. Not Rhaenyra, not her. Not even her mother, not even the late Queen Aemma. What made you so special? Whatever it was, she wanted it.

Rhaenyra just loved you. She praised you constantly, and asked you to go everywhere with her. Even, where Alicent couldn't follow. You had a dragon. An awful, ill-mannered beast that had the foulest temper. Just like her owner. Rhaenyra and you spent the mornings flying and playing chase, while Alicent remained forgotten on the ground. 

Every time you entered a room, Alicent's blood boiled. She felt as if she was on fire from how much the thoughts consumed her. She hated you. She hated you. She hated you because she wanted so badly to be you. 

With no one to divert King's Viserys' attention, Alicent found herself cornered. Her father said it was a good thing, that the King realized he didn't need a spirited wife. You were a wild, willful maiden, with teeth as sharp as the ones on your dragon. Were you made Queen, you would have bled Westeros dry. Alicent was much better suited to the task, meek and subservient as women should be. 

But if she was all those things, as her father said, why did she feel such rage? By the Seven, when you were near, Alicent wanted to scratch your face to shreds. 

Envy. It was envy and it was a sin. She often tried to remind herself of that, when she saw you parading around the Red Keep, surrounded by Rhaenyra and a round of age appropriate suitors. 

It didn't work to calm her heart. 

“Are you still in here?” Your voice brings her out of her contemplation. You stand at the entrance of the Sept, a quirky little smile on your face. "It's been quite a while.” 

Alicent looks at the candle she had lit, when the three of you had come to the Sept earlier this morning. It's burned almost completely, only the smallest piece of wick and wax remaining. She has stayed here for hours and barely noticed. That strong of a hold you had over her thoughts. 

“Evidently.” Alicent answers, tone harsh. Your face drops slightly. 

“I didn't mean to disturb you. Rhaenyra is looking for you, that's all.” You are not even that pretty. Alicent is much more comely. Your features always glimmer with a hint of intellegence that's just not proper for a lady of your station. 

“I'll go when I am ready.” 

You leave her alone with her thoughts and the sparks of the fire. If you were a better person, perhaps you would have stayed. But you are not, so you run off as always, chasing whatever inane pleasures you are always up to. 

Not even a week passes before that awful announcement. No one tells her. She finds the same as anyone else. Rhaenyra's look of betrayal is etched into her memory. 

She isn't quite sure of what to feel. Alicent knows this is a great thing, she will turn into the most powerful woman in the realm. Nothing could bring her house more honor, there is no greater achievement of her duty. 

At the same time, she is terrified. King Viserys is not the kind of man she ever dreamed of marrying. Alicent had hoped for a groom closer to her age. The fact that he is Rhaenyra's father makes her skin crawl with disgust.

When she had thought of marriage, she had always envisioned it as being like what her parents had. Alicent remembers the times when her mother was alive, how her father had tended to her, how much he had mourned her. That was true love, she had thought. True love a thousand times. A love so powerful her father never remarried, never even looked at another woman. 

But while Viserys was old enough to be her father, he was not half the man Otto Hightower was. Instead of remaining in proper mourning, he had started making arrangements immediately to marry another. 

Even your sister, tiny Laena Velaryon, had been considered. Alicent had found out because of the hell you had raised, when she was sent on her own walk with the King. You had screamed at your father until you went hoarse, and received a hearty slap as a reward. Not even that had stopped you from looming menacingly at the entrance of the Red Keep, watching them with hawk's eyes. Viserys had decided he would not marry her either. 

What was it about you? Gods, Alicent knew she should be the happiest maid in Westeros. Her father's plots to secure a future for her had been well rewarded, she was about to do her duty in the most spectacular manner. No longer would her father have to fear for her like yours did. The most important man, the one blessed by the Gods themselves to rule Westeros, had chosen her. Yet, Alicent still envied you. 

It made no sense. You could not be in a worse position. You were spinning out of control, or so everyone said. First, it had been the rejection of the King's advances, then the screaming match with your father. There was a certain strength in your rebelliousness, though. You braved the rumors with your head held high, strolling through the halls of the Red Keep as if you owned the place. 

Rhaenyra was never far from you now, either. That, too, she envied. Before your appearance, they had been thick as thieves. Suddenly, she was all about you, and none about Alicent.  This marriage proposal had been perceived as the ultimate betrayal, and she didn't seem to believe Alicent when she had tried telling her she had not known. 

You tried to go on with your normal routine regardless. Every time you got the chance, you tried reuniting Rhaenyra and Alicent in one room. You must get a lot of enjoyment out of seeing Rhaenyra yell at her because once more, you had organized for the three of you to have tea. It was not going well. Or it was going very well for you. Alicent could not tell. 

“You could have refused him.” Rhaenyra slammed her hand against the table. Unperturbed, you stared between the two of them. 

Alicent felt the urge to scream and scream and never stop. This was terribly unreasonable.  But instead, what came out of her mouth was…

“He is the King!” 

“He is my father!” And with that last shriek, Rhaenyra was out of the parlor. 

“He never asked.” Alicent growled, slamming her own hand on the table. She couldn't afford to scream, less the guards hear. But she surely felt like it. 

You sprawled back on your seat, an amused expression taking over your face. Alicent wanted to slap the smug look off your face. 

“He wouldn't make the same mistake twice.” 

“He asked you?” Alicent's head turns. Of course he would. You were so important, after all. So freaking perfect. So learned and special. Oh, how she wanted to grab you by all that pretty hair and tug. 

“I said no. And I said I would rather die than marry him, for he was as old as my father and a bad man, who would sacrifice his wife as if she were a breeding bitch…” It is as if once the words start tumbling out of your mouth, you can't stop them, blurting them without a care. There is a strange look in your eyes. “And then I said I would feed his limp dick to my dragon if he ever tried to force me, and raze his fucking Kingdom to the ground.” 

Fear. You are scared, Alicent marvels. Scared of Viserys. Just as she is. Your words are feverish, you seem to be drowning in them. Like you need to scream, and scream and never stop. 

“And his guards didn't say anything?” She says, still in disbelief at your words. 

“Oh, I said it all in High Valyrian.” It's not even funny, but it cracks both of you up. Alicent realizes, startled, that perhaps you are not so bad after all. 

A few days pass before you come to her again. This time, you are wearing riding attire, sweat making your hair flatten against your skull. You are so much like Rhaenyra in that instant that Alicent's heart stutters. 

“I have been thinking about your problem.” You say, perching next to her in what surely you believe to be extreme daintiness. You are also the sort to think her dragon a baby, so it's not like it's unprecedented. 

“Excuse me?” Alicent frowns. She wasn't aware she had a problem, much less that you were intent on fixing it. She had thought her hatred reciprocated.  But was it? Suddenly, all of your interactions are in a new light.  All of your snide little comments, all of your interruptions. You had never been trying to argue, you had been trying to befriend her. 

“Run away with me.” You whisper, grabbing her hands. “Don't marry him.” 

Alicent stumbles back. What you are suggesting could be considered treason. Perhaps you did hate her after all. 

“Why should I trust you? You might be plotting my ruin.” 

“I might. Or I might be saving you from the worst mistake of your life.” 

She only thinks back to your proposal on the day of her wedding. Alicent spends the days leading up to it in a state of such nerves she can barely think of anything beyond how doomed she is. Your words don't register as an actual possibility. 

Alicent's father says she is the most gorgeous bride he has ever seen. He says she looks just like her mother did on her wedding day, that he is making him proud. And she clings to that. But it's not until she is entering the Sept and sees you on the front row, clapping, that she breaks. 

You stand in a blue gown, clapping almost aggressively. Her eyes search for yours, as she is about to say her vows. 

You stare back. You arch an eyebrow. 

“I am…. I can't do this.” Alicent drops her cloak, gathers her skirts, and runs. She passes you and grabs you by the arm, forcing you to run too. You catch up quickly. 

The guests stare. King Viserys opens and closes his mouth. 

“What..?”

“Alicent!” Her father screams. “Come back here, you foolish child!” 

“Good for you!” She can almost make out Rhaenyra's voice, from the crowd. It only pushes her to run faster, harder. 

“Hurry, before they recover!” You scream, pulling her even more. 

The two of you share your first kiss hours later, with no one but the endless ocean and your dragon as witnesses. 

#alicent hightower x reader #alicent x reader #alicent hightower x you #alicent x female reader #alicent x you #alicent x y/n #alicent hightower x y/n #alicent hightower #hotd alicent #alicent #queen alicent #hotd fanfic #alicent hotd #hotd #asoiaf fanfic #asoif fanfic #asoif/got #hotd x reader #hotd x you #velaryon reader #alicent x fem oc #cristi's bingo

[macgyvertape]

DOS2 playthrough thoughts

I last played early 2018 and I started the last act about 68 hours into the game, and I remember being tired of playing the game at that point and needing the ssd space. So I uninstalled and now my saves are incompatible with the current version of the game. So instead of finishing that run I’m restarting. I finished the playthrough this time in about 90 hours.

First run I played Lohse and romanced Sebille, and while I didn’t keep a journal of the playthrough I did take a some screenshots of the companion interactions. So I’m going into a second playthrough knowing Fane did a Solas Dragon Age breaking the world, there’s a flying witch on a cross who is a pain in the ass, and I made a post complaining about were-spiders. 

Playing with a lot of mods but the improved organization mod is one I DONT recommend. It puts item into category bags then the game wont detect them in your inventory

Super long post below cut, I tried to journal what I did both to keep myself in character and because I don’t see myself replaying this game for a long time

I appreciate how this game will take anything not nailed down, I’m definitely going to try to outside the box do more combos

I killed Magister Siwan when she was unconscious, now that I know you you have a lot more freedom to kill. I’m playing Sebille this run through, goals are to be so a lot less “nice” than Lohse when it comes to antagonists, but not being a dick to other victims of the Magisters

I did not expect Ifan to be this charming or fit this well with Sebille, both of them paid killers, also love his raspy voice

I have an unlimited Companion mod so I’m taking along The Red Prince even though I’ll keep Sebille in character disagreeing with him most of the time

Yeah I killed Stingtail, was on the fence about it until he kept lying to me and seems more in character because then I can eat parts of him

I think its funny that in the scenes where companions interject, all of them will have speak up. Its like for a moment the group just does “poll of the room” and the enemy has to wait there

Mods that share bartereing and persuasion across companions are the best, especially combo with a mod to default to my character vs closes character. I remember that being really really frustrating that I’d have to do inventory management across characters just to get a good sell price

I basically did all the options to get out of Fort Joy just for the exploration and xp boost. Fight at the docks was the hardest, then I clean out the magisters. I definitely don’t remember encountering Daeyena my first playthrough

Healing the wounded magisters at the Seekr camp and the Simone is saying “how do you have so much power”. Other NPCs like Han react as well I love some good gameplay and story integration 

Tir-Cendelius is an asshole. If felt very in character to have Sebille remark that she has a spot for his name as a promise of death, then regret that as he burned his name onto her skin. He is an asshole in his veiws of submission, hope we do get to follow through killing him. No gods no masters.

Oh, I stabbed him, and then his name became Sebille’s name. “You are my champion, you are my chosen one” ok i still dont trust him

I really liked how there such a push to now see your companions as rivals, and yeah this does play different when you aren’t playing Lohse

I used double teleports to get myself through most of the wizards maze. I probably missed a few things but its a time consuming pain with 6 characters

I felt bad for Trompdoy, goading us into killing him, so after hilling him and realizing the soul jar was just beyond his fight, I reloaded to sneak through the area then to free him. I feel really sorry for the dude.

Traded the soul jar for the captain’s coat. Get the nice coat now, find him and kill him again later. Seeing notes there was definitely a smarter way to do this

I feel like Sibelle who was forced to assassinate and kill would have a lot of sympathy for someone like Gratiana who is trying to do better now. Like Sibelle would hope her victims would have some forgiveness

Slane is a Dragon Knight, fun tie in to Divinity 2 - Dragon Knight Saga, a fun if flawed game

Midway through the Bishop Alexander fight I realized it was going really poorly fighting him down in the area with all his buddies. So i reloaded and put my party up the stairs with the cursed blood, teleported him up there, and turned the area around him into necrofire. Easy kill by keeping him in the fire. It was a super long 45/50 min fight though until all enemies were defeated

Had to look up where the Tyrant gear legs were, a high stat check in an obscure statue, lmao

Went back and killed almost every Magister in Fort Joy, wish there was a way to get more people on the seeker boat, but I guess the Seekers have only so many resources

I wasn’t expecting Seekers to die on the ship considering I didn’t take them in a fight

I don’t think Sebille would be like “oh no i wouldn’t hurt you if the demon takes control” to Lohse and apparently that’s the good answer

Boned Fane rn, and he has the highest affection level at 60 when other companions are in the 20s

I cheesed the hell out of the Dallis fight, teleportation + necrofire + corpse explosion + lowering difficulty for the win

I guess Gratiana died when the ship went to the hall of echoes since she’s gone

Fane’s attitude towards me is in the 60s, Ifan is the next highest with 30. Not sure if its a mod bug or just I’ve been choosing a lot of the right options with Fane

Theres a lot of what seems to be void lore worldbuilding spread out across eating a lot of void tainted fish. 7 figures (maybe the 7 gods or eternals) threw someone into the void

I killed Lovrik afterwards because I think that’s what this group would do for trying to kill them especially since he wasn’t repentant nor offered up any money

I got a Ifan romance moment for going to smoke some herbs. Like the game gives me dialogue options to question he has my back but when he’s so affectionate like this how could I doubt him because he straightforward and not a deceptive character

I confronted Wylia the inn cook, because even though I’ve lost track of the number of times Sebille has committed cannibalism but theres a line crossed when you serve it to other people unknowingly. I like to think Sebille confronted because she didn’t want to snitch to the Magisters but was hoping Wylia would leave town. 

I helped Barrel Man escape and it earned me the Hero tag. I guess its because I helped enough people without being an asshole about rewards but all the Hero dialouge options are not what I want to say, because I’m not so heroic I’m not asking politely for a reward for a lost ring

Intersting to consider from a role play perspective, Sebille hates Magisters and has no love for them but will deliver the ring so the ghost can rest in peace. 

I didn’t have anyone built into theiving last time, so Glad I have Beast this time so he can steal the note and then pickpocket the unethical fish factory owner.

I want to kill Magister Reimond but not in the middle of town, played along and I’m sure I’ll get the chance later

The Djinn quest is well done, lots of different options and he’ll easily mislead you with a monkey’s paw style “reward”

That Ifan didn’t bring a portal but the means that the Elves homeland was wiped out from Deathfog. Really adds a layer to romancing him as an elf

I wound up killing Zanisma the deathfog technician in the caves when pickpocketing her failed. Not sure if this counts as in cold blood, Ifan didn’t inherently kill her, and Beast had smashed what she was working on, but she was working on a WMD

Mordus fight was a lot easier reloading and just dogpiling him while ignoring adds. He taught me how to wield more Source even though I didn’t promise to save his life, and then killed him afterwards for creating all the bug monsters. I’ve seen some interesting discussions on if he had free will

Had to kill the cute little Peeper the chicken because otherwise it spawned void enemies too powerful, but tbf Peeper had slaughtered the henhouse

I killed Gareth’s friend Jonathan and told him to get over it and lead the seekers. I really have to remind myself I’m trying to play Sebille as not merciful to active combatant Seekers

Wow the magisters + dog on the left bridge of Driftwood were killed, wonder what triggered that event

I wonder how the attitude among companions works, because it varies rapidly based on who is examining whom. Like Ifan has 99 attitude for Lohse but she only has 22 for him

Considering the Sebille option to step up with Ifan and threaten Hannag with him, it feels out of character not to follow through and kill her. Killing those who were knowingly involved unlike Ifan who was the catspaw. Like Ifan really emphasised “not right for me”

Hannag fight gets real easy with terrain swap and sacrificing someone to lava

I gave Xhaxh my source and blood, and let him leave without killing him. He did stop killing when I gave him source

Ifan’s dialogue about how he used to believe in something but no longer does, he really opens up and responds differently if you say you believe in people

Sebille’s response to Zemski is she desires vengeance upon the wicked, I think I’ve done a good job trying to fit that

Damn Lohse as a companion is very different from how I played her “spare me this elven strife, I care not”. 

Theres an old farm couple talking about how nice Hannag is, uuuh I’m not going to say that I killed her, but something tells me they don’t know about the deathfog

Now all my party has the Hero tag because I stopped the Magisters from killing an innocent family

Magisters killed the boy in front of his family and were going to execute the rest of them, I killed those Magisters. Magisters tortured and then killed an elf for the spore armor, I attacked and killed them. The scared dwarf woman who was one of the people who snitched on the Crossleys and regrets it, I didn’t hurt her since she told me how to get past the checkpoint

 The infamous Gwydian fight went a lot easier teleporting him away to a safe spot, and apparently its been re-optimized it so it wasn’t making my computer cry

No such thing as a free purge ability apparently, I used it on shriekers in Blackpits and a demon popped out

I appreciate how basically all my characters but Fane have movement abilities so I don’t have to teleport everyone all the time

7 Eternals turned into gods and maybe made mortals to harvest for source, isn’t a shocker. I kind of remember this plot point from the first playthrough that it was similar to the Elf “gods” in Dragon Age. Even the “nice” Amadia is an asshole if she flung every Eternal into the void as well. Seems less liberation of the people against a tyrant and more assholes overthrowing a tyrant “you could have saved yourself if only you had bowed”

Oh gods are the gems that we pick up off Voidwoken the spirits of Eternals? It mentions the gems are cloudy like there is something in there and some Voidwoken early on knew Fane’s name 

Fane has his moments of assholery where he’s mad that “of course they lied to you but they also lied to me”,  then follows it up with very moral based self reflection “if you open the gate and set a mad dog loose, are you not responsible if it savages a child”, but I guess both are a bit self absorbed

Damn if you tell him its all his fault I think that breaks him atleast a bit (I did this just to see what happens then reloaded). Telling him emphatically that it isn’t his fault is the only option where he says he can’t “sit here and mope” vs “sit here and wish for death”. 

Telling Fane that I would do anything if I had a wife and child in the clutches of the void. I hope this specific choice affects things later, it feels in character especially since I’m trying do the whole “believe in people” thing

Some real Darth Nihilus vibes about the whole source vampirism thing, hunger feeding on hunger, how long until that turns someone into a monster

I don’t remember fighting Harbinger of Doom on my last playthrough. What a fun fight using sneaking to set up the area full of necrofire. Made finding Almira later rather anticlimactic

I killed Reimond (living on the edge and mass corpse explosion ftw) and rescued Nikor and the other Black Ring people to see what happens later. 

Even if Ryker didn’t enslave souls into his masked servants, feeding people to a giant spider would be enough for me to kill him. I snooped around his room and learned he was a Lone Wolf which was an interesting detail, and he wanted the scythe because he was sworn into the Covenant. The only reason he didn’t look like an undead was he fed off the spirits in the graveyard. Super interesting villain, lots of small details in his house and mannerisms

I’ve been eating the source of asshole spirit magisters, but I left Ryker alone. Lets see if anything happens. 

Interesting how atleast 3 Sourcers: Mordus, Almira, and Ryker are all sworn to the God King

LMAO made a pass at Qanna and it was persuasion impossible with her reply “oh honey you really think you’re irresistible” 

Whelp fulfilling the ghosts last wishes by fighting the Lone Wolves makes Roost by default hostile, and means Sebille doesn’t get any dialogue, but that’s the easiest way to get the achievement. 

With the other lone wolves dead I went to go take care of the one impersonating the Baron. The ghost was nice “you who succor the souls of the dead” though I have eaten quite a few, like Roost’s spirit and the Sawmill Foreman

Oh hey, that Tir Cendelius put Sebille’s name on her arm came up later. 

I don’t think I want Sebille to be heart of the Mother Tree, but denying it there turns all the elves hostile

Saheila could have given me a source point but I already had enough

I don’t remember communing with the tree last time, it was possessed by the same Demon that possess Lohse

The Alison Addison fight was not hard at all on lvl 16 with 6 characters

I killed Grog then later Marg randomly attacked me, so I killed him too. Something something reduce the barriers preventing people from using public infrastructure

I think there’s a lot to unpack about how Lohse’s affection jumped 40 points after Jahan’s attempt to exorcize her, and if you say you want to be friends her comment “even if I can’t … well never mind”

Doing web of desires I was like: this is definitely a trap, goddamn it its spiders again

Reached Nameless Isle: Red Prince is at 66 attitude, Lohse and Ifan are in 70s, and Beast and Fane have 80

Got a chest in the middle of lava thanks to Tornado making it not lava, farsight letting me put the tornado skill far away, then teleport person to chest destination. What a fun skill puzzle

Felt pretty great to kill the Master aka the Shadow Prince, then eat his spirit after the Red Prince was done talking to him. He might be right the Mother Tree is a tyrant but that doesn’t justify his slavery

I looked up how to solve the imp pocket dimension because the slow mechanic was really annoying. It was a easy cheese with teleport

Saving Nikor paid off where he vouched for me with the Black Ring, I’m trying to explore as much of the island as i can before I wipe out both parties

I just realized I could use Sebille’s needle. Atleast the past dialogue played out fine

Aww Duna gave Beast his hat back

Awww the knight of Duma wants me to consume his source so he can’t be brought back. He really is devoted

I consumed the spirit of the Fanatic as he asked but I plan on trying to kill the Devourer, and I think he wouldn’t like that.

I brought Delorus to his fellow Magisters then helped Gareth kill them all. Like after all the evil shit the Magisters did I’m not siding with them. They blamed it on Dallis but there were shriekers outside the temple. Also there can only be one divine so I’m going to fight Alexander again sooner or later. Glad Ifan can get what little closure he can from talking to Alexander’s spirit. Of course I stood aside and let him consume it. 

Well apparently helping Gareth get his vengeance makes him disavow us. I’d rather have him on the crew so I did a persuasion check for getting him to abandon his quest for vengeance, spoke to Alexander alone to get more info, then let Ifan kill Alexander in a very satisfying dialogue scene. Interestingly Ifan gets his own dialogue option “tell Alexander he will never know what you intend” then you consume his source. Ifan hates this dude (understandable)

Sallow Man was a cool character, great to use all his mirrors afterwards to make Black Ring fight each other

Oh wow its Wendego from all the way back in act 1 in the Sallow Man’s cave, I’m not going to consume her source just to see if she shows up again

I didn’t teleport lava onto nearly enough people, only remembered to start doing it with Krug the Troll

I think last playthrough I was a lot more unsure about killing the Mother Tree, this time I’m totally doing it. I’m suspicious of Saheila’s rapid change of heart, so I figured the best option was accept the Mother Tree’s power and then kill it, there are worries about power corrupting but it might help when Sebille is Divine

I have no idea what was going on with Beast’s crew and the Isle of Mists, I’m just getting info about that now. 

It was pretty nice to choose the top non Persuasion marked dialogues and have companions agree with me, which is great because I can’t pass any of the persuasion checks without my companions sharing their bonus

I was going to romance Fane but romancing Ifan instead, I personally find him really charming and he’s the one I’ve gotten romance prompts for like bringing up what happened in the Undertavern and then he blushes.

They really spell out the Voidwoken are former Eternals for the players, and Fane has that moment of really being tempted to accept the Covenant. I’m curious if there are any paths that have him doing so if he’s a companion

I am now The One thanks to my party being good at combos in the Arena fights (I’m just realizing this is probably a reference to The Highlander)

I gave Almira the Swornbreaker, and by gave I mean I used the item glitch to drop it on the ground so it finished the quest but I still got to keep it

Found a book by Lucian that the gods feed off of mortals Source, I remember this being heavily implied by Aetera. I agree with Lucian’s desire to kill the gods but disagree with his methods

Love when a god suddenly turns into a giant robot/construct. That was a fun fight area

Kind of suprised all the companions are options for romantic choices, if you built affection with one person then swerved and sleep with someone else here wonder what happens. Also lmao the ship make this private nook for you to get nookie

I was warned against blindly agreeing to help Malady so I remained noncommittal this time. She really doesn’t like it when you choose ambivalent dialogue options towards her which I’ve done most times

Even though I told Lohse at “just friends” at a few points she REALLY has unrequited feelings for me. Also weird Fane has 0 commentary unlike all the other companions

Yeah between the glazed look in Mihaly’s eye and his line “I’m eternally grateful to be at her side” hes totally enthralled :|

The Loric fight was awfully hard until I spent about 30 minutes clearing up the deathfog and killing the adds without triggering him into combat

Holy shit wtf happened outside of Arx that there is deathfog everywhere in the valley

Glad I installed an item leveling mod, its been nice not being annoyed at getting a bad roll, and the ingame prices for the Sourcerous Sundries prices are expensive enough that its clear the devs wanted people to not keep the same gear from act 1

I found the possessed child and convinced the Demon to take Sebille as a host, the fight afterwards went much better on reload and with proper positioning. I just really enjoy having 6 characters to do fun combos with than the optimal meta

Managed to save one of the Paladins on the bridge into Arx, but more like one of them didn’t have the AI make the worst choices

If I hadn’t sent the War Owl in Act 2 I wonder how different Arx would have been with the Magisters in charge, or if things would have changed that much

Oh wow Eithne the undead from Driftwood who committed suicide is here as a spirit in Arx in the super secret underground area. Fane has unique dialogue options to tell her not to listen to the God King but seeing as she’s so dismissive I think we’ll have to fight her in the future

Huh I killed Reimond in Driftwood but his spirit is in Arx. Ironically he’s being very chatty but the audio is bugged

Vredaman is Bracus Rex, I’m not surprised Bracus Rex is running around considering how much focus he got in Act 1 but I thought he might be tied to the God-King not the Cloaked Figure. But the note from the magister that he burned a dude alive with fire is a Bracus Rex thing to do. 

Tarquin has such an ego about being the greatest necromancer; atleast he realized Bracus Rex is awful and was working on countermeasures though he really played the cards too close to his chest. 

Who could have guess a spore based armor that spreads through exploding corpses would discard its host when no longer useful /s, RIP to Daeyena, there was a moment where she recognized Sebille as the prime scion before the armor killed her

Ok this Karon kid is super sus, he’s way too nice and cheerful for this setting, and thats before the spirits talk about how the child massacared them. Gareth mentions how he’s grateful the mistake did not ascend, so I need to fix this situation somehow because keeping him forever imprisoned seems untenable. 

Time to investigate Kemm, I haven’t been keeping him up to date on the investigation because I didn’t trust him and from what Paladin DeSelby is saying glad I trusted my instincts. Yes Magisters were doing horrible things, but I think he’s using this as a power grab

Excited to see Wendigo again glad leaving her alone on the Nameless Isle paid off, and I could dismantle the shielding thanks to having my collar dismantled by the blacksmith all the way back in Act 1. Oh shit that Kemm is sworn to the God King, his whole thing about the magisters is DARVO shit. I gave Wendigo the Swornbreaker as thanks for all the info and so that she can truely rest vs us just killing her again. Sebille has some dialouge afterwards about how she didn’t fail her master, her master failed her. 

I headed back to deal with Karon and it seems he escaped. Whoops

The bit with Adramahlihk’s realm is great environmental storytelling. Considering the ethics of destroying 3 souls to weaken the demon then right behind to door are thousands of souls, the horror of that moment

Lohse’s comment of “I don’t care about [the trapped souls]. I mean I do… but the only person I really care about is me”. It makes total sense how if you don’t interject Lohse will lean on you for support then tell Malady to extinguish all the candles. But if you speak up to say to leave, she will agree with that because she doesn’t want to become just like the demon. I believe in my party’s ability to kill Adrahmalik through cheese strats if I must, especially for Lohse’s morality

So the Doctor(Adramalikh) gave the Kemms both the fucked up talking plants and the bud plants that spit poison, but its all a trick because those plants attacked me thinking I was Lord Kemm

Kemm’s vault was a bit tricky in that I looked up the optimal way to do quests so I didn’t get locked out of anything. 

 Finally killed those demons that kept ambushing me, the charm effect from Lohse’s coat drastically changed the course of the fight when she charmed 3 of them

The cursed revanants that respawn if there is cursed fire are the literal worst fight of the game. So much area prep for a then very short fight

Getting trapped in the realm of Nightmares was sooo bullshit, once half my party went through the door the other half had multiple rounds of being taunted and provoked so they couldn’t do that and kept dying. Not sure what I would have done without being able to keep recrafting the idol of rebirth and giving it back to the characters in combat. 

So the Red Prince is the father of dragons, here’s hoping his Empire remains peaceful and not expansionist with a lot of slavery. Honestly Sebille obtaining Divinity feels like it would be a good power check on him

Oh wow Saheila is in Arx and is a warhawk for a racewar and from searching online she’ll say this regardless if you kill the mother tree; this feels like extremely inconsistent writing for her character between each act

I have so many skills on several characters that its bleeding over to the second row, kind of annoying because out of sight is out of mind

The Lord Keem fight was a lot better on reload since Arhu died instantly the first time. Surround Arhu with boxes so no one can get close or damage him, fill an area with Deathfog and then teleport all the other enemies into it

It was really satisfying to drain Kemm’s source, he really was such a rich asshole

Adrahmalik fight was pretty simple with the tip to kill Lohse every 2 turns so that he’ll spend his turns channeling the possession spell. The demons may be immune to Deathfog but theyre not immune to teleportation + mass corpse explosion

Lohse’s song was really touching and heartwarming to hear in game especially because its a good song but also the demon took music from her for so long

Malady really cares for Lohse much more than the other godwoken

The Dwarf Husband to be wants Ifan to kill his father in law, I think the bride’s health beeing poor is also sus. Funny you can interject to correct Ifan’s title, but love Ifan’s response “The man you seek is not who I am. Anymore. And I’ll not become him again for the likes of you”. Hits a lot of tropes I enjoy. 

I thought the exploding wedding cake was from the murderous groom but no its from the Demon Doctor. Wow he really was trying to kill every agent of the god king with maximum collateral damage

After the Isbeil fight Fane’s comment failing to see the issue of killing thousands of other reace to save thousands of his own race is 100% in character for pragmatism, except the plan wouldn’t have save dwarf lives and just empower the God King. Red Prince’s comments of how he might do the same with a pre-emptive attack is frightening considering he has dragons now. 

 I consumed Isbeil’s source, like yeah she did have the sob story of the Magisters deathfogging the elves but she’s clearly a threat if the god king can keep bringing her back. Also her sob story doesn’t justify the 564 prisoners she killed in monstrous experiments

I wanted to see what would happen if you do release the deathfog then reload, Beast and Ifan immediately turn on you but the rest of the companions will stick with you and not say much. Shame there wasn’t more budget for character interaction there

Beast actually leaves Justinia’s fate fully in your hands, not many other companion quests do that. While Justinia seemed to have gone along with the Deathfog plot pretty willingly and executed dissenting nobles, killing her would leave a power vacuum that Beast wouldn't step up and fill because as Justinia points out he wasn’t helping rule he was off being a pirate. (also feels good to have them sort of reconcile)

This game would be sooo much better with 0 spiders in the sewers and containers that have the spider legs. I had to pause playing and go walk around since it was bad for my phobia

I had Beast wear the Tyrants’ set all the way from getting it to most of Arx but the Devour’s set has better stats. I’ve kept Ifan with his shadow’s eye crossbow because I haven’t found any others to do piercing, its outclassed by other crossbows with base damage but that piercing is really good. 

Karon finally show up again, I’m not sure if he was demon possessed or just extremely obsessed with what he believed he was owed, but I talked him into finding peace and so his spirit moved on. Thats the last sidequest in Arx done

The puppet battle with the switch fucking sucks, source vamparism was supposed to work but they just kept spawning and crowd controlling my team. So on reload I just maxed stealth with Lohse and had her pull the levers out of combat. Having a pipe puzzle than this combat puzzle right before the boss kind of kills the momentum

Aww really cute romantic makeout moment with Ifan, where he says he can’t wait for Divinity to be over to live a human life

Not suprising the Eternals claim they could come back but it would kill all the other mortal races. Theres got to be a name for this trope, I can think of 2 other games that have a similar plot

Sir Lora and Quercus had moments of being cute but on the whole were really annoying, dying to traps a few times and getting stuck and damaged by AOE attacks

On the “Fane is my father” reveal I’m not sure if that’s Fane’s liefmotif or the Eternals one. I was kind of spoiled about Dallis being Fane’s daughter a while ago, I really want to know if there is unique dialogue for player character Fane, but lmao imagine getting here and Fane was left behind in Act 1

Annoyed I can’t call Lucien out for Deathfogging the elves. He can’t be trusted with power, Ifan says it best “Surrender my Source? [Lucien] should surrender his life”. Anyway started combat as Ifan put down a deathfog barrel, teleported it to back of room, got 2 more AP from killing the Gheist, and then teleported Lucien into it. Ez clap

The Anathema was really disappointing, breaks in 1 hit so I had to set up a multi step combo buffing Beast for it to be worth it

Damn, Lohse and Red Prince both said they wanted Divinity for themselves and turned on me. Lohse’s Attitude was 79, and Red Prince’s Attitude was 75 (not surprising because I didn’t chose the best dialogue choices with him trying to stay in character). The rest of the companions attitudes were low 80s and higher and I wonder if that made a difference. Also watching videos I wonder if I missed companions interjecting since it usually defaulted to my player character

I think Sebillie would be as shocked as me that at the last minute they change their mind after backing me before. So when pressed in a last minute decision she won’t say yes. My reasoning for Sebille not backing Lohse was her willingness to snuff out all the souls Adrahmalik had taken out of self interest. The Red Prince in the past said he’s fine not being Divine but when its in his grasp he changes his mind and wants the power for expansion. I don’t see Sebille EVER backing him. 

Oh Almira definitely enthralls you if you let her kiss you at the ending.

From Sebille ascending to Divine ending: I really like Gareth’s ending arc, you can say you’re friends and he’s dedicated to figuring himself out. Ifan’s dialogue is really sweet with the romance, he wants to return to the forest to help rebuild and doesn’t want to serve the Divine even though you’re different from the last one

That you can grab Fane’s arm like he did to you in Act 1 is great, I imagine Sebille was just WAITING to do that back. He has some really touching dialogue about learning to move on and appreciate the world and its wonder. His big regret is that if his people were brought back that they wouldn’t live in peace with everyone else

Canon ending as Sebille killing The Red Prince and Lohse, and living with the regret that they forced her hand as she ascends to Divinity. I thought that you could kill Dallis and Lucien and sacrifice your Source and Lucien wouldn’t get the credit because he would be dead, but he does get the credit and Ifan hates you for it. Which makes sense because the magisters committed atrocities and they continue to stay in power.

No perfect ending, either the world continues the fight against the God-King and Driftwood is wiped out vs Lucien becomes the Lord Emperor of all of Rivellon which has to go much worse than the ending cards mention and theres a growing threat from demons. In that ending it seems to go a bit better for some companions, but Sahelia only refrains from violence because Sebille took the power of the Mother Tree and Saheila’s mother is still alive. In neither ending did the red dragons get mentioned at all nor did it show up in the ending fight as was mentioned. Giving Source back to the world is probably the worst option right above God-King or Eternals return

In the ideal ending Lucien is dead, Dallis isn’t, we give up our Source, and all the companions would be alive. It feels railroaded that you can go through the effort of fighting Lucien, Dallis, and Braccus Rex then give up your source and it differs not at all from agreeing to give up your source from before the fight. 

#mac plays video games #im using main tags just because I organize my blog #but I don't expect anyone to read this #but using 5 non main tags #should keep it out of main tag results #dos2 #dos2 spoilers

[lesetoilesfous]

Anders and ‘‘Murder’’ in Dragon Age

Ok so I’ve seen this a few times recently and want to break down my thoughts on it.

Anders is a murderer - this is true.*

(*Though there are some really great meta posts proving how by Dragon Age Canon he killed less than 100 people in the Chantry boom. I’m on mobile but if anyone wants to add that please do.)

Hawke is a murderer. Varric is a murderer. Isabela is a murderer. Fenris is a murderer. Aveline is a murderer. Merrill is a murderer. Sebastian is a murderer.

Guys you, you have a kill count. Hawke and their whole gang are a group of dangerous vigilantes who kill people according to their own personal moral judgements.

The difference between Anders’ Chantry Boom and the Kirkwall Crew’s merry decade of mass murder is that a) the Chantry Boom was the beginning of a Civil War b) That Civil War started, in part, to prevent a genocide

(Canonically, Meredith had called for the Rite of Annulment with no good reason. Canonically, she is going to enact it knowing the Circle mages are innocent. Canonically, the Gallows had over 800 innocent people inside including children and the elderly. Not to be utilitarian, but yes, I would kill 100 political and religious leaders in a corrupt, dictatorial, violent theocracy in order to save nearly a thousand innocent people.)

The third difference between Anders and Hawke and the gang’s multiple-hundreds head count is that you, the player, don’t do it. So you don’t excuse him the way you excuse yourself - despite the fact that Anders’ last ditch effort to save over 800 people after ten years of peaceful protest is infinitely more justifiable than Hawke’s slaughter of hundreds of refugees and gangs in a city that is canonically riddled with poverty, prejudice, unemployment and homelessness.

When I say Anders Was Right, I don’t mean, “he’s my favourite character so I’m turning a blind eye to his actions”. I mean, seriously, I think that what he did was the morally correct choice and a necessary one.

I don’t mean that Anders isn’t an asshole. He’s a huge asshole!!! He shouldn’t have lied to Hawke. He shouldn’t have manipulated them. He’s selfish, and ignorant, and often blind to the way his words and actions hurt other people. He can become self absorbed and arrogant. He demands disclosure of trauma, he’s short tempered, he leaps to conclusions, he hurts people’s feelings, he IS blinded to the causes and needs of other communities because of his single minded focus on mages and his own suffering. And a lot of his dialogue towards Fenris and Merrill (however cartoonishly exaggerated, but more on that anon) is unforgivably rude AT BEST.

I think Anders actions at the Chantry were correct and morally justifiable. Does that mean I think he’s perfect? Of course not! His flaws are what make him interesting!!!!

But even if all of this weren’t true - EVEN IF the rest of the gang didn’t canonically have a kill count as high as, or higher than, Anders’ first action in a civil war to prevent a genocide - EVEN in that case.

I also cannot condone Bioware’s conscious, deliberate, centrist, toxic, ableist caricature of a mentally ill, queer character and his fight for civil rights. I…don’t actually think we need a story right now that explains to us how, fundamentally, queer bipolar men are ‘unhinged’, violent and evil, simply for the fact of their resistance against state and religious abuse. Even when they’ve been tortured. Even when children are going to die.

We have this appalling, condescending, imperialistic idea that people - in reality and in fiction, are only allowed to violently resist violent oppression by the state and church if we find them palatable. If they step a toe outside of our personal comfort zones, (themselves constructed by the same imperialistic propaganda we’ve consumed since childhood) we immediately rescind that right - damning an individual for resisting, even if their life is on the line. Even if it concerns the death of children. This is not a moral choice. It’s a social bias.

As for Fenris and Merrill - I struggle to believe that a man who spent ten years providing free medical treatment to refugees, criminals and the homeless never met an elf or learned anything about discrimination against elves. I also struggle to understand how - despite the fact that the Circles are the only place in southern Thedas where elves are not segregated from humans, and where they can reach an equivalent position of authority to humans, somehow Circle mages are most often the mouthpieces for anti elven discrimination.

And by this of course I mean I don’t struggle at all. It’s very helpful for bombastic, oppressive governments like the USA, and all who support them, to set up a false dichotomy between marginalised communities. To peddle the lie that marginalised communities’ biggest threats are one another and not, say, the church or state actively enforcing violence against them. (The Chantry teaches that mages corrupted heaven. It also teaches that elves are inherently more sinful than humans because they are ‘born further from the Maker’s light’).

Once again, apart from the catastrophic failure in internal logic that results in these forced, cartoonish caricatures of Anders as a character - I also disagree with this because I fundamentally do not believe that we need a story about queer people and mentally ill people fighting people of colour but never daring to raise a finger to the people lobotomising them, r*ping them, killing them and driving them to s*icide. I don’t like that story because I don’t think it’s a good one - I don’t think it’s narratively interesting. I do think it’s morally corrupt. I think it’s toxic propaganda. I think it drives us apart.

There’s this incredibly condescending attitude among DA fans towards people who like Anders. The patronising, lazy assumption is that we saw a pretty blonde white man and didn’t engage with the narrative at all. This is rarely the case. We are also adults. We also played the game. We just came to a different conclusion.

#Anders DA2 #DA2 #Anders #DA2 meta #dragon age meta

[fific7]

Unexpected - Part 1

King Caspian x Reader

Summary: What happens if you push the respectful and well-behaved King Caspian a little too far? You’re about to find out.

A/N: This does not follow canon, it’s mainly a mix of fluff and angst with some lemon zest 🍋 Friends to Lovers AU.

Warnings: 18+ NSFW due to sexual content including debatable consent at first, loss of virginity and oral and unprotected* sex between consenting adults. Some drinking & swearing.

*Irl, please don’t go wild in the country without protection.

(My video edit)

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

You and every unwed woman in Narnia knew that the handsome King Caspian was being pressured by his advisors to find a Queen for himself.

Most knew that to become Queen of Narnia would be unattainable for them - no doubt that would be some Princess from another country - and you had no illusions about your own chances. Your father was one of the lords at court and owned a large amount of land near Cair Paravel, but you were not a Royal so you were sure you’d never be considered.

You and Caspian had been friendly when you were younger but you doubted he’d remember you, so much had happened between then and now.

You’d been restless at home recently, mainly because your parents had started speaking of finding you a husband. Appalled, you’d pestered, pleaded with and finally persuaded your father to arrange for you to see Professor Cornelius as you wanted something with which to fill your days instead of playing the piano, embroidery and reading.

Cornelius had suggested you come to work with him as his research assistant, and you’d leapt at the chance. It also meant that you would live at Cair Paravel, away from the slightly smothering atmosphere at home. Your mother had not spoken to you for a week before you left (or your father, whom she blamed for setting up the interview in the first place). But she’d reluctantly accepted that you were flying the nest, however you’d had to endure an extremely long lecture about how you should behave while living away from home.

It seemed that you would be able to eat, drink, speak and bathe and not much else.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

King Caspian made his way to Cornelius’ study, knocking once before entering. The older man looked up at him, smiling and greeting him. Caspian threw himself into the chair in front of the desk, having lifted three books from it first.

“You are in need of some time away from your advisors, Caspian?”

The King nodded, running his hands over his face. “They just go on and on and on about how I need a wife and an heir. I am sure I will find a wife one day but I have other things I wish to concentrate on at the moment.” “Your next voyage?” Caspian nodded, “Yes. There is still much to do. The construction of the Dawn Treader is well under way, but I have an itinerary to decide upon and courses to plot.”

“I have a new research assistant starting tomorrow, I am sure she will be able to help you with that. She is well read and knowledgeable of the many other lands you may wish to visit.” Caspian looked up quickly at him, “She?” “Yes, she is my Lord Tirian’s daughter.” Caspian smiled, “I remember her. We played silly games together when we were young, whenever her father brought her to the castle. It will be so nice to see her again.”

Cornelius, hiding a smile, replied, “Oh, I think you will be very pleased to see her again, my King.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Feeling nervous for some reason, you tapped on Cornelius’ door and heard “Come in” in response. Stepping into the room, you were amazed at the numbers of books, manuscripts and charts which occupied the small room. You could hardly see the diminutive Cornelius in amongst it all, and he saw you taking in the piles stacked everywhere.

He chuckled, “Yes, there are too many, my dear. I’m hoping you can help me catalogue and store them as I confess the situation is getting out of control.” You bowed your head to him, “I’ll be happy to assist, Professor Cornelius.” “I’m so glad to hear that. On another note, the King is looking forward to meeting you again. I’d quite forgotten until I spoke to him about you that you were childhood friends.” You smiled, “Well, I’m not sure the King would have actually called me his friend as such, but we did spend happy hours playing hide and seek and pretending to fight dragons.”

Cornelius nodded, “He remembers those times fondly, my lady. He was not allowed to play with many other children, and I’m certain he considered you a friend of his. Come, let us go and reintroduce you to each other.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Caspian looked up from the document he was reading at his desk. There had been a sharp knock at the door of his chambers and then it had opened, Cornelius striding into the room with another person following him. He was transfixed as he looked upon the grown-up face of his childhood playmate. He stood and walked around the desk towards the two of them, whispering her name as she curtsied in front of him.

He was still staring at her. Cornelius cleared his throat seeing that the young King was lost for words, but Caspian ignored him as he heard her soft voice, “It is so nice to see you again, your Majesty.” “Caspian,” he said immediately, “we never called each other anything except our first names, did we?” She was smiling up at him, and he was still a little overwhelmed. This was the skinny little girl he’d run about with all those years ago? Now, she was a woman - a beautiful woman. “No, Caspian, we didn’t.”

Cornelius interjected, “I’ll leave you two to get reacquainted, so I’m going back to my study. Your Majesty, my lady.” He gave a small bow and left the room.

Caspian indicated the large couch by the window and she made her way to it, gathering her dress underneath her as she sat down. He sat at the other end, and without thinking he reached out and took her hand. She smiled, wrapping her fingers around his hand as they’d done so many years ago, while running headlong through the orchards next to the castle.

“I’m so very sorry about your father, Caspian. He was always so kind to me. You must miss him dreadfully.” Caspian looked down quickly and she heard him say quietly, “Thank you. Yes, I miss him every minute of every day.” He met her eyes once more, “But we were able to right the wrongs done to him and Narnia, for which I am very grateful.” She smiled at him again, “And here you are, a King! My childhood friend. I really didn’t think you’d remember me.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Caspian’s dark brown eyes gazed into yours and he held your hand even tighter. “Of course I remember you! Do you think I’d forget my only friend?! Your visits and the little time we spent together made my life bearable.”

You were shocked, and felt so sad for him. “Oh, Caspian! I can’t have been your only friend, surely?” His eyes filled with tears and he looked down again, “Believe me, you were. I was so lucky that we’d met before my father died, so it would have looked strange if my uncle had banned us from meeting. He kept me totally isolated most of the time. I think he did that so people maybe wouldn’t notice when it was time to kill me.”

Cornelius hadn’t told you it had been this bad for him! Your own eyes were watering now as you thought about the hardships he’d had to face at such a young age. Without giving it much thought, you flung your arms round him and hugged him tightly. His head came to rest on your shoulder and your hand went to the back of his head, stroking his silky hair. His shoulders shook slightly and you knew he was crying, so you just held him until he was ready to sit back from you. He stood up abruptly and turned to look out of the window, a hand swiftly wiping his cheeks dry.

He gave a choked laugh, “I’m so sorry, this was supposed to be a happy reunion and we are both crying,” looking down at you as you also wiped tears away. “I’m sorry, Caspian. I mentioned your father and perhaps I shouldn’t have?” He shook his head, “No, I’m glad that you did. And at least we have now spoken of his passing and can remember and talk about happier times.” You smiled at him, “Yes, I shall enjoy that. Although maybe I should speak firstly about how worried I was on the occasion we came to visit, and you were not there. I asked as many guards and lords as I could where you were, but I was told to stop being a nosy child. My father would say nothing to me either, despite my tantrums!”

Caspian burst out laughing, “Oh I remember your tantrums so well! I’m impressed he didn’t give in to you in the face of one of those!” You slapped him lightly on the arm, also laughing, “Caspian! You’re supposed to be my friend!” He became serious again, “I most certainly am. I’m overjoyed to have you back in my life. So much has happened in the past few years, and there has been so much to do, but rest assured I would have tracked you down eventually.” His hand went to your face, stroking your cheek gently and you felt your breath catch. He looked so handsome. Very much a man now, rather than the adolescent boy you’d once known.

His head moved much closer to yours, and you thought for a moment that he was going to kiss you.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Caspian suddenly realised what he was about to do, and pulled back sharply. He should not kiss her.

They’d only just met again, but he knew that all his feelings for her were still there. He’d just pushed them down, deep deep down, so that he could carry out what he’d needed to do for Narnia and for his father’s memory.

He’d been in love with her when he was a boy, and now that he was a man - he knew that he still loved her. He’d nearly passed out when he’d seen her again today after being apart from her for so long. All those suppressed feelings had come raging back through his veins in an instant, overwhelming, all-consuming, setting his mind and body alight with a burning passion.

But she’d said he was her friend. So he doubted that she felt the same kind of love for him that he felt for her. He must bear that in mind and act accordingly, no matter how much he wished it wasn’t the case.

Stepping back from her, he let his hand fall from her face and smiled sadly at her.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

#ben barnes #king caspian #king caspian x reader #king caspian fan fiction #king caspian imagine #king caspian fanfic #narnia #voyage of the dawn treader

[nitewrighter]

Does Hanzo ever find out what Genji went through/what he was like during Blackwatch? If so, how does he react?

I think he does eventually, like... Genji lets him know that he was in a very difficult physical and emotional place with Blackwatch, and Hanzo’s able to pick up from Mercy that “Okay no, I don’t think you understand, it was really bad”--but she’s also fairly light on the details mostly for Genji’s sake like “Hey, I’m not going to tell you any more than Genji was comfortable with telling you.” And Zenyatta hangs back for the same reasons, and also he wasn’t there so he doesn’t want to distort the details from what Genji’s told him. So the one person Hanzo can actually get the full story from... is McCree.

Also this fic references the first meeting fic so yeah!

----

“Well?” Hanzo had one elbow resting on the bar. Music was faintly playing but it blended in with the humming murmur of the other patrons. Snowflakes were buffeting the glass of the windowpanes just outside and both of them had shrugged off their heavier coats. The bar itself had a homey, lived-in quality to it. Not dirty, but with a definite age to it that seemed to lend a further brightness to the bodies gliding through it and chatting. The icy Andean wind had heightened the redness of Hanzo’s nose and cheeks well before any alcohol had. It contrasted against the cold discernment of his dark brown eyes.

“I’m gonna answer your question with a question--” McCree started.

“Which isn’t an answer--”

McCree leaned back in his bar seat, folding his arms across himself. He almost looked sagely. “Are you asking this because you genuinely think it will help you get a gauge on your shit and move forward, or are you freaking out because things are going more okay than you think you deserve and feel a need to kick yourself square in the Rocky Mountain oysters?”

“Rocky Mountain--?”

“It’s this fried--I’m talking about--” McCree sighed and sipped his whiskey, “I’m saying you’re doing... you’re doing really well, Hanzo. You’re touching base with the team, reachin’ out, you seem to be sleeping and eating better, hell, you’re clutch on missions, but now you’re asking about this, and it worries me.”

“Why should it worry you?” Hanzo’s eyes narrowed.

“Because--y’know... I care about you. You’re a part of this team and I care about you... in a..” McCree cleared his throat, “Team-y way. And... you were stuck in a dark lonely place and I ain’t itchin’ to give you the means to go back there. ”

“But you can understand that the fact that I don’t have the full story distresses me more, can you not?” said Hanzo, “As well as the fact that knowing the more the truth of it is obscured with me, the worse I can assume the situation was.”

McCree scratched at his beard, frowning. “Yeah... yeah I can understand it--but I can also understand Mercy and Zen not spillin’ the beans on Genji’s account.”

“Mm...” Hanzo glanced off and sipped his own drink.

McCree twisted his glass slowly, “Then again, sometimes I think Reyes brought me on the team to begin with because I have a pretty high success rate with the whole, ‘Beg forgiveness before asking permission’ rate.”

Ana called you a charmer, the words almost slipped out of Hanzo but he wasn’t sure how they would land, so he held them in. Instead, Hanzo only mildly gestured at the bartender to refill McCree’s glass.

“Don’t think you’re getting it just because you’re gettin’ me drunk. It ain’t exactly a pretty story,” said McCree.

“I’m prepared,” said Hanzo.

McCree studied him a few moments longer, one hand still wrapped around his glass and one corner of his mouth pulled up with indecision before he closed his eyes and exhaled. “All right,” he said, “If only to keep you from kicking your own ass over what you don’t know.”

“I want you to start at the beginning,” said Hanzo, his stare steady.

“Well t’be fair, Blackwatch was casin’ Hanamura for months, even before your old man passed--er---my condolences--”

Hanzo snorted a little. “It’s... fine,” he said a bit awkwardly. He was more disarmed than really upset at the idea that McCree may have been far better versed in the activities of the Shimada Clan than he had really anticipated.

“Gérard, that is, our UN Attaché, had this whole thing about ‘pulling everything out to the light,’---And the fella was good at it. Could sniff out paper trails and track down dirty money like no other. The initial plan was to get Genji on possession charges and drag the whole clan out behind him. Your old man’s passin’--again, condolences--threw the whole schedule off though. And then we received additional intel that the Shimada dragons might be more.... uh... what’s the word for ‘unusual’ but it’s like... more business-y unusual?”

Hanzo shrugged.

“Un... Im... Uhhh.... Anomalous! That’s the word! Might be more anomalous than we thought and ‘warranting further investigation’ or whatever,” McCree seemed to be easing into the story now, plucking up details from debriefings, “SEP and all its affiliates had been more or less shut down post-Crisis, but there were still worries about human experimentation... strange abilities, and the like. And the dragon stories had been floating around your family for decades, but only when things got destabilized did we consider they might be more than stories. Then we got word that the wheels had been set in motion that the clan would kill Genji before we could get our hands on him--Arrest mission became extraction mission, and extraction mission became rescue mission. The time frame was so sudden we had to bring the Doc along because we thought she would be our best chance at saving him--She wasn’t in Blackwatch, you understand. Wasn’t too keen on undermining the Japanese government either. But... it turns out bringing her along was the right choice.”

Hanzo seemed to be maintaining a veneer of calm, but there was an unmistakeable new undercurrent of tension in his movements and expression as he sipped his own drink.

“You know what he looked like when you left him,” said McCree, “Do you really want me to go into the details there?”

“Yes,” said Hanzo.

McCree huffed and took another gulp of whiskey. The burn of alcohol rasped the first few words of his next sentence. “So it was me, Reyes, the Doc, and a handful of Blackwatch extraction medics touching down in Hanamura that night. Apparently the Shimada clan’s forces were decentralized from the castle. We infiltrated the castle grounds. Found a handful of your security already dead. Took out one more... left his body with the others. Didn’t have time to run a full investigation, or lock anything down. Finding Genji was the top priority. And we found him. Three limbs gone. Puddle of his own blood. Looked midway between... someone had dropped him in a garbage disposal but at the same time... not right--just... gone. The limbs were gone. The wounds were too clean but still bleedin’ out.”

Hanzo’s knuckles curled in, white and shaking as he took a steadying breath. “Consumed,” Hanzo said quietly, “The dragon consumed them.”

“I can stop--” McCree started.

“Finish what you start, Cowboy,” Hanzo’s voice was steady.

McCree swallowed. “I’d seen some fucked up shit under Reyes, but this... yeah, it was new. I kind of froze up, not quite scared, but just trying to make sense of it. But then I snapped out of it as the Doc rushed to him first. I had a vantage point in case other castle security showed up. Reyes was at the opening to that big-ass balcony so he could flag down our evac. So uh, what you need to understand here is that we uh... we actually had very little solid intel as to what the Shimada dragons were capable of.”

“...but I had left the scene well before this,” said Hanzo, trying to puzzle out the timeline of his own fleeing the castle grounds.

“Yeah it... wasn’t your dragon we saw,” said McCree, “See, the Doc, she had to do this... staff... defibrillation thing? I didn’t get a good look at it but Genji, he uh...started thrashin’ and this light sprang out of him. Bright green. Never seen anything like it. He was screaming. Next thing I know he’s grabbing Mercy’s neck.”

Hanzo flinched with some alertness. “What?”

“I mean--first instinct, I’m saying to Reyes, ‘Boss, I got a shot’--like, I know the mission was asset acquisition, but light show or not I wasn’t about to let him kill Angela, but then she hollers out ‘Don’t shoot him!’ And I’m stuck there looking to Reyes like, ‘You’re gonna override that, right?’ And... and Reyes was so calm... I--I could see him doing the math. Breaking people down to resources... breaking their deaths down to trade-offs...”

“You... thought you had to shoot Genji--” Hanzo’s brow was crinkling.

“If Reyes gave me the word,” McCree shrugged, then itched at the brim of his hat, “I never thought someone would hesitate on saving the doc like he was doing right there, though. But.... then she said something to Genji. Never asked what it was, but it seemed to calm him down before he passed out.”

“And you’re saying he grabbed her neck when they first met,” Hanzo’s eyes were narrowed, “But they’re...”

“Well, he was only half-conscious and in this full-on survival mode and she had just... jammed a huge amount of biotic-whatever into his chest. He didn’t know if she was helping or trying to... y’know it was like those times you nearly punched me in the face when I was trying to wake you up from those night terrors.”

“I’m sorry for that,” said Hanzo.

“Psh. If I had a nickel for every time someone took a swing at me out of some kind of traumatic reflex...” he smiled to try and make this seem more lighthearted than it actually was, but Hanzo seemed to still be processing everything, so McCree cleared his throat. “Word of advice, though, don’t make any ‘I guess you’re into that’ jokes with the doc,” he said with a nervous laugh, “No it uh... it took them both a while. I mean, there was this thing there, definitely, but yeah, they were both neck-deep in a whole bunch of shit for a while before they really acknowledged anything.”

“Did Genji take a swing at you?” asked Hanzo.

“Not outside of a Blackwatch sparring ring,” said McCree, “But Jesus, he was scary on the training floor. Still is, sometimes.” McCree paused for a few seconds. “He was obsessed with killing you, y’know. Taking down the whole clan and killing you. Every mission where he got a sniff of you, every mission he thought you might be there and you weren’t, he’d come back snarling.” 

Hanzo blinked a few times and glanced down. He knew it made sense, given the idea of justice their family had ingrained in them, but there was still an odd sting to the idea. But I’m his brother, he thought, but then he thought, But that didn’t stop me. 

McCree seemed to take Hanzo’s silence as permission to go on. “ I’d try to distract him... try to get his head out of his ass sometimes, but a lot of the time... you see any living thing in a state like that, all you can do is give it space. Genji did give us a decent amount of intel on the Shimada clan’s bigger operations... but when it came to actually getting in there... he was always the first one on the ground. As you can imagine, it was personal for him. There were a handful of bullshit ‘stakeouts’ in Japan where Genji would ditch me... I knew Reyes wasn’t telling me the whole story, then again, it wasn’t my job to know the whole story.” McCree sipped his drink. “Doesn’t mean I didn’t know what he was doing, though.”

“...killing heads of the clan,” Hanzo said quietly.

“Can’t exactly confirm or deny that but... yeah,” said McCree. A prickle of alarm seemed to go through him. “Look, I don’t want to kick off any more brother-killing fuckery--”

“You’re not, Jesse,” Hanzo’s voice was subdued, “I was the right hand of the clan... and the destruction wrought by Genji was, if anything, a product of my own actions.”

“Also his actions--He was fucking nightmare--I mean I liked him, but he was a fucking nightmare, sometimes. Lashed out--like... you didn’t really think of him as giving a shit about you with all that seething over the Shimada clan--- but then he’d know how to say something that hurts, and he knows exactly how it hurts, and you wouldn’t know if he learned how to hurt that bad from your family or just because he was hurtin’ that bad and---” McCree seemed to catch the alarmed look in Hanzo’s eyes, then took a steadying breath before sipping his drink again, “Look... this stuff... it’s all in the past. And he is a lot better now. And he is one of my best friends. Kind of wild how someone who hurt you that deeply can be a best friend like that, but... that’s kind of how life works. Kind of how this shit works when you don’t know if you’re coming back from that next mission. We’re all fucked up here. It’s about learning to take the fucked up parts of yourself and trying to make it into something that helps the people that mean something to you. ”

“The people that mean something to me...” Hanzo repeated quietly.  He remembered McCree’s words from his second night on the watchpoint. ‘We’re all just background noise to you. You’re just here so you can stop kicking your own ass after Genji.’ Then he remembered Genji’s words. ‘Well... you’ve been traveling the world for a decade... has there... been anyone? Anyone special? Anyone you loved?’

“...I feel like I’ve let that part of me atrophy,” Hanzo said quietly. Answering Genji’s question, not McCree’s words.

“Atrophy?” McCree repeated.

“When you don’t use a muscle for a long time and... it ceases to be able to functi--”

“I know what ‘Atrophy’ means--” McCree wasn’t making eye contact, “You let... caring about other people... atrophy,” he parsed, trying to trace out Hanzo’s thought process.

“Mm,” Hanzo took a sip of his own drink, “So while I was wandering in grief, Genji was consumed by pain and rage.”

“Which... he’s told you,” said McCree. 

“Well, yes, but he didn’t go into details,” said Hanzo, “I know, this might be difficult or painful to talk about, but I really do appreciate getting a more complete picture of what happened to him after my actions.” 

McCree tilted his own glass back and forth on the bar counter, letting the whiskey rock around the interior.“I know, but...don’t heap all this on yourself. Reyes always said he wanted the cockroach motherfuckers, and he was more than happy to let Genji snap and swear and lash out and burn the house down because that suited Blackwatch’s agenda better than, I dunno, therapy? Only when we got benched after the Venice incident did he yank in Genji’s leash, because hey, it turned out having a PTSD cyborg tearin’ around the base cussin’ people out wasn’t a good look for Blackwatch.” 

Hanzo huffed a little. There was an odd comfort in that. But then he paused, running over the course of McCree’s words in his mind. “...you keep bringing up Reyes,” Hanzo said, fixing his eyes on McCree.

“Sorry--I--I know this should be about Genji,” said McCree.

“No it... it gives some perspective,” said Hanzo, “You trusted Reyes, didn’t you?”

McCree’s mouth tightened for a few seconds before he drew in a short breath through his nostrils. “Yeah... yeah, I did. He just... I mean I’d keep telling myself I was my own person, that I did things with my own style, but so did he. So like... whether it’s ‘your own style’ from fuckin’ Santa Fe or Los Angeles... is there really that much of a difference? If you still picture yourself in their boots, give or take a decade or so?”

“Hm,” Hanzo was thoughtful at this, “I imagined myself in my father’s position so long that when everything came apart and I found myself wandering the world, dodging the clan’s assassins I felt... like a stranger.” 

“Kind of liked being a stranger,” said McCree with slight shrug, “Stranger’s from nowhere. Got nothing to prove.... guess it probably hits different if you got a whole... magical crime lord prince destiny thing, huh?”

“The dragon is not magical,” said Hanzo flatly, but a smile was tugging at his lips. 

“Debatable,” said McCree, “First of all: It’s a dragon.”

Hanzo snorted and a quiet pause passed between them. Not uncomfortable, but definitely tired, letting McCree’s words and all the pain and memory that came with them drift and dissipate into the warm air of the bar.

“...I could tell you more if you want,” said McCree, after a few beats. “I do have funnier stories... wasn’t all... ‘he was fucked up.’ And--Genji did seem to be getting better-ish towards the end there, once they put him on Tracer’s strike team... but by then Overwatch itself was coming apart.” He snorted. “I guess that’s kind of a running theme with this stuff.”

“I appreciate the offer,” said Hanzo with a slight chuckle. He paused. “Tracer’s strike team?”

“Well, she and Winston probably got more stories there than I do,” said McCree, “And maybe the doc, if it’s in good faith.” He sipped his drink. “You’re welcome to run off to try and ask them about it.”

“I think... this is enough for now,” said Hanzo. After a few beats he said, “You’re not... all background noise to me.”

“What?” said McCree.

“That... you said that on the second night,” said Hanzo, “It’s... it’s not that I don’t value life, or other people--I’m just... it’s been a very long time since I’ve worked with other people, since I’ve talked to other people on a regular basis like this, since I’ve stayed in one place this long, and...”  he trailed off, then took a sip of his own drink with some resolve, “I’m afraid,” he said, letting those words sit in the air for a few seconds, “I’m afraid of lending my abilities to another organization that’s used people to hurt other people and then tossed them aside. When your only connection to other people for most of your life was this twisted blood loyalty...” Hanzo trailed off.

“I’m scared of makin’ the same mistakes too, for what it’s worth,” said McCree, “I don’t think fear like that ever goes away.”

“Redemption’s a bitch?” said Hanzo with a slight smile.

McCree broke into chuckles. “You should swear more often. I feel like that’ll help.”

“You’ve sworn plenty for the both of us, tonight,” said Hanzo crisply, sipping his own drink.

“Still, I’m gonna make it a mission to get a ‘fuck’ out of you,” said McCree and Hanzo choked and sputtered. “I didn’t mean it like that! You know what I mean!” McCree was laughing as Hanzo’s attention was split between choking and laughing and desperately looking around for a napkin after spitting his drink. The bartender swooped by with a napkin and the laughs boiled down into chuckles as Hanzo cleaned up a bit. There was another pause then, that same settling of understanding.

“Thank you,” Hanzo said after a few beats.

“You already thanked me--don’t know what’s worth thanking about saying ‘hey your brother was fucked up and so were we.’”

“Honesty. I appreciate honesty.”

McCree smiled and then shrugged.“Hey--y’know, for all the shit I give you,” McCree started and trailed off, “What I said that night about... all of us being background noise... I know that.. that wasn’t really fair. You really didn’t know any of us and, y’know, as far as the general public is concerned, we’re a whole bunch of mercenary weirdoes doing vigilante shit.” 

“And Genji was the only person here I knew, and was really...” Hanzo sighed, “I suppose, I fixed him in my mind to be my last chance at humanity--and made myself out to be a monster to all of you in pursuing that.”

“Well... you’re doing better, I can tell you that much. And... y’know folks are warming up to you.”

“Except Angela,” said Hanzo, with a weary smile. 

“She needs time on that... I wouldn’t try to force it,” said McCree, “Baby steps and all that.” 

Hanzo huffed a little.

“Hey,” McCree lifted his glass, “To baby steps and runnin’ the hell away from all our old role models.”

“Indeed,” Hanzo clinked his glass against Genji’s. Both sipped their drinks and another pause passed over them. Hanzo felt McCree’s eyes on him and looked over at him.l

“Hey just so we’re clear,” McCree’s chin was in his hand, “I didn’t accidentally kick off some huge new bloody vengeance thing by telling you all this, right?”

“You did not,” said Hanzo with a wry smile.

“Oh thank god.” 

#mchanzo #gency

[digitalworldbound]

unexpected

pairing: takeru x hikari (college age)

summary: She had been ignoring the symptoms for weeks. Even now, as Hikari dry heaved into the toilet bowl, there was a logical explanation.

author's note: slight cursing and adult themes

She had been ignoring the symptoms for weeks. When her blouse fit snugly around her chest, she chastised herself for putting it in the dryer. Miso soup had always been one of her favorites, so she disregarded her brother’s raised eyebrows as she went back for seconds, and later, thirds.

Even now, as Hikari dry heaved into the toilet bowl, there was a logical explanation. The few Smirnoff’s she had been able to stomach swirled away. A pitiful groan escaped her lips; she hated to waste food. Heavy bass thumped from outside the door, Mimi’s “little get together” in full swing. Initially, Hikari had been happy to escape into the bathroom. Twelve fully-grown bodies practically filled the small apartment to capacity. The taste of sweat and alcohol lingered in the air, the heat sweltering.

“Hey, you good in there?” Takeru’s voice called out. Her headache thumped in time with the music. Oh god, it’s Takeru. The bile in her stomach swirled with dread; he of all people would see right through her. Hikari didn’t trust herself to speak, opting to flush the toilet again. Quickly, she washed her hands and splashed her face with cool water, washing all the evidence of her escapade down the drain. The thought of facing him made her stomach clench harder.

“Yeah, I’m fine! Just had to use the bathroom.” With the door open, the air was more stifling than before; she was smothering. Hikari put on her best smile and willed herself to act more drunk than she was. Perhaps even under Takeru’s trained eyes she would appear more like the reckless college students she was supposed to be.

He just laughed and guided her back to the epicenter of the party. Takeru’s arm was tight against her waist, pulling her body closer to his. Hikari didn’t miss the way his eyebrows knit together in worry. He knew something was up, but would wait until they were alone. She did her best to detangle herself and get lost in the music, to giggle with Miyako and dance with Sora. Every time her eyes would catch Takeru’s, she would feel nausea burn in her throat.

-

Three days after her expected period, Hikari fingers turned white around her cellphone.

“Miyako.” It was not a greeting so much as a demand. Her face was wet with shame, the tears scorching her cheeks on their descent. “Please.”

Takeru’s schedule blessed Hikari with a day to herself in their miniscule apartment. They had long ago given up any pretense of sleeping in separate rooms, their clothes, sheets, bodies mingling together. Traces of him lingered everywhere. Hikari’s amber eyes were unfocused around his toothbrush when Miyako found her.

Her face had a healthy flush, bangs sticking to the perspiration on her forehead. “You know, I ran all the way here. The least you could have done was open the front door.” Crinkly plastic was ensnared in her hands, the bag hanging limp.

Despite the gusto Miyako brought to every social interaction, the only thing to draw Hikari from her stupor was the shiny red logo that dangled from Miyako’s fingers.

“Does your family know?” Her voice was hoarse in the aftermath of her suspicion. The thought of her friend buying something so grotesque from her family’s store nearly sent Hikari back over the rim of the toilet.

Miyako had to bite back her laugher. “Of all the things to be worried about, this is what you choose?” Hikari narrowed her eyes, their puffiness and red rims diminishing their intended effect. “If you must know,” Miyako continued, sinking onto her knees beside the brunette, “My sister and I have a no-questions policy. I don’t ask where she sneaks off to at night, and she doesn’t ask why I buy pregnancy tests at noon on a Tuesday.”

If the logo didn’t set Hikari off, the sheer magnitude of the situation did. Her lunch had already been flushed down the drain, bile burning her throat. “Damn, you really are sick. How long has this been going on?”

The older girl ran her hand down Hikari’s rumpled shirt. Once her trembling hands flushed the remnants of her stomach, she listlessly held up two fingers. Loose strands of her bangs shielded her eyes from Miyako, shame deepening the blush on her cheeks.

“I remember being twelve and our only concern being the flavor of lip gloss we wore. When did everything get so messy?” Hikari’s voice broke, forehead leaning against the toilet rim. She could feel herself shrinking against Miyako’s scrutinizing gaze. She let the silence settle, leaning against the bathroom cabinets. “Hikari, growing up is the messiest thing I’ve ever done.”

Hikari's tears were hot and raw, dripping off her chin. Her laughs were shallow, shoulders trembling in the effort to hold herself together. Slowly, as if Hikari was a dove, Miyako wrapped her arms across her middle. She gently tucked her frail frame into her chest, murmuring hollow encouragements into her ear. Miyako let Hikari soak her shoulder in tears, allowing herself to be baptized in her best friend’s pain. There was nothing she could say to make this better, no evil monster she could destroy to make this all go away.

Miyako’s knees grew numb against the linoleum, the plastic bag discarded beside her. A glance at her watch told her that Takeru would be home soon.

Her heart ached at the sight of Hikari. She laid limp in Miyako’s arms, lips swollen and eyes puffy. There was nothing she could do. “Hikari, it’s time.” Her words seemed to stir the girl into action. As Miyako pried the box open and read the instructions out loud, Hikari splashed her face with cool water. Silently, she prayed to whichever deity would hear her case. Please, let it be negative.

“I’ll be right outside if you need anything.” Miyako gripped her shoulders lightly, bending her neck down to meet her eyes. Hikari gripped the plastic handle with a ferocity the rivaled Daisuke’s. Wordlessly, she shut the door to the bathroom.

Once she was finished, the test laid discarded on the lid of the waste bin.

Three minutes.

Hikari’s earliest memory was of her brother. Their parents had been away at work, entrusting Taichi to take care of the both of them. He was practically a baby, barely able to reach the countertops in the kitchen. They decorated the walls in their bedroom with markers, childish dragons and princesses stretching across the baseboards.

Hikari was only nineteen, more of a baby now than she ever had been.

Two minutes.

She was fourteen the first time Takeru made her blush. It was innocent, mere child’s play compared to the predicament she was in now. They had been walking home together, chatting mindlessly about anything and nothing and all things in between. She remembered the way that the late afternoon sunlight reflected in his golden locks, an ethereal halo highlighting his rosy cheeks. Hikari had never seen him like that, beautiful and raw with a smile just for her.

How had things gotten so out of control?

One minute.

No, that was wrong. Hikari’s love for Takeru could not be construed into anything negative. Their love was pure and all consuming, stretching into every aspect of their lives. It was in the way she leaned into him whenever he was near, unconsciously seeking his comfort. Their love gathered itself in the clothes Takeru meticulously folded the way Hikari taught him when they had just moved in, all those months ago. This love – gentle, warm, and pure - could never be out of control.

But it could have consequences.

Thirty seconds.

Her stomach clenched. This couldn’t be happening. Hikari had given up her childhood to save the world; she didn’t deserve this. The universe was constantly bending her to its will, no matter how cruel the circumstances. She had tried to take control of her own destiny, enrolling into college with dreams of becoming a teacher. How could she expect herself to teach children when she had so much left to learn? And Takeru? Would he have to give up his dreams for her? For them?

.

.

.

Positive

If Hikari were a dove, her wings had been clipped.

#takari #digimon #digimon drabble #takeru takaishi #hikari yagami

[glitterytidalwavedragon]

Expanding into my other Fandoms (I’m gonna have to take a stance) Read the whole thing please.

One of my oldest and most beloved anime is Inuyasha. As of late I have been binged watching the hell out of it as I am getting my BFF into different anime shows. We are really close to entering the Yashahime part of the series, and she asked if I planned to write fanfiction involving the one character which made me even watch the show as a 10-year-old.

Sesshomaru

The first episode I ever watched involved this aloof, entitled dog fighting his brother over the sword in their father’s grave. Specifically, it was part 3 of that whole episode series were Kagome pulled out the sword. I at the time had 3 dogs of German Sheppard/wolf hybrid, they were MASSIVE dogs, fell in love with the big white fluff that was Sesshomaru’s demon form. I use to sneak staying up and watch the show faithfully to see the goodest boy as it was only on at 11pm EST on adult swim. Which meant it was bad and I was breaking the rules, I felt like a rebel.

Now I hesitated answering that question. She has no idea of what is in Yashahime, she is being careful not to spoil it so I told her I didn’t know. Recently, to find out what the feel is for Sesshomaru content, I looked into the tag on tumblr…

OH MY GOD.

Sesshomaru’s tag is FLOODED with hate. Like every four post, there is hate, distain, and attacking happening. As someone who watches Yashahime, I quickly knew why.

Sessrin.

Even now I sigh. And I sigh HARD. I am not for, nor am I against the Sessrin train. Same for the Sesskagu train. I think both sides need to look at things on a logical prospective. I plan to do just that. I know I will get hate from the either side and maybe some support as well. But if I am going to do anything in this fandom (as I like doing ships and reader inserts) it will come up.

So, like my Kaiba post, and my Sebastian Heel post, I will use my research skills as well as my COLLEGE DEGREE WHICH HAS BOTH ART AND MEDIEVAL HISTORY labelled on it to explain why this progression in the story is normal to anti-Sessrin fans and why this isn’t a crime by story standards nor should we look at it as a crime.

AS WELL

Explain to Sessrin fans why it is so weird for non-shippers to see it play out and why so much hate formed.

As I let out another sigh, we shall begin. Let’s start at an historical prospective. (Links at the bottom).

PLEASE READ THE WHOLE THING! I’LL BE ABLE TO TELL!

~~

I will start with the information I can access right away.

While finding charts on the life-span of common folk in 1590’s Feudal Japan is rather difficult, Ancient.edu states that the average lifespan was about 50. To put this in perspective, the average lifespan of Europeans at the time was somewhere between 40-45 with the latter being rare. Since most of us reading are not from Japanese descent, I will through Europe in this first.

If we look at the same time frame of 1590, we are looking at most of Western Europe had now entered the age of Renaissance. According to sources from Learning Resources in association with the National Gallery of Art, marriage was not what TV drama’s from HBO or Hulu depicted. By today standards they would be a crime, as the average age for marriage of an adult female was age 14…

The reasoning behind the young marriage age had multiple factors. First being, females were considered an adult once they were menstruating. Birthing also proved to be fatal, and since the lifespan was at best 40 and 45 if they were lucky, there was really no room to wait. Also Europe at the time had became hugely focused on making sure blood lines were legitimate, meaning to ensure the girl was a virgin, the moment she was able to reproduced she was married off. Those they married were not young teenagers either. Most marriages, a man would be in their thirties, and had probably multiple wives as women died more than men when not counting the battle field.

To make matters worse for the Renaissance Lady, these marriages would leave many young males unable to marry and if their husband died in battle, well, unfortunately they were not seen as desirable. This was due to the idea of a ‘free woman’. Should the girl not have a father, brother or uncle to return to as they too died, a widow had her freedom. But that freedom came at a cost. She would be assumed to have slept around, and in many writings, such as the Canterbury Tales, where Geoffrey Chaucer writes about a Window on a pilgrimage to the Holy Land survived her five husbands and the men in her family. In short, she was made to be a slut and to be looked down upon as no man controlled her.

The point of talking about Europe is because that is something most of us Non-Asian or Japanese people consume and like to paint in large romantic brush strokes of knights and magic. Honestly, reading G.R.R.Martin Song of Ice and Fire, he uses this model as we see the Queen of Dragons, Danny start off at age thirteen shortly after she had her first menstruation.  

Now let’s look at Feudal Japan.

As stated before, the lifespan was around 50 years. In some populations, this was even shorter. Nagaoka, Hirata, Yokota and Matsu’ura’s on demographic data at the Yuigahama-minami area in Kamakura, Japan and found both male and female remains that suggested life expectancy to have ended around age 24-25. This was largely due to living conditions and public health. In areas like these, it would make the most sense to marry and repopulate quickly as the expectancy of life was half the national average at the time.

To my frustration, I could not find a clear marriage age for Japanese women at the time of the edo period. HOWEVER, where there is a will there is a way. I took a look at famous Lords or Daimyo’s of the time. The average age of marriage of their wives was between 12-14. Much younger than I expected, but it made sense considering this is a time where war ran the show and marriage was strictly about political gain. One of these Daimyo’s was Masamune Date, who was also 13, but then as he got older took concubines who became considerably younger than him as he became older. The goal was to have as many children as possible for hires and for political marriages to gain power.

Now lets look at Inuyasha the MANGA

Lets get the manga timeline proper here. The whole adventure took place in 11 months, a month shy of Kagome’s 16th birthday. Doing a few estimations, Rin would have travelled with Sesshomaru about 8-9 of those months. But before we get into the relationship, lets look at something the ANIME made a huge mistake with in the beginning and tried to fix as the story went on.

For some reason I could only fine gifs for the Early appearances of Sesshomaru so bear with me.

Early appearances in the manga

 ^ He was so fickle and a trickster then...

Now early apperances in the anime.

Later appearance in the manga

Laster appearance in the anime

Notice the issue here? 

Sesshomaru was CONSIDERABLY younger looking in the start of the manga. In the anime, he started off looking like an fully adult male. But as the anime went on, they tried to make Sesshomaru look younger with subtle changes to his jaw line, eye size, and his height. Yeah, his height had changed. They made him shorter.

While in the manga, we see this young-teen looking demon, slowly mature over 11 months to look like he is in his later teens and by series end, closer to being in his late teens or twenty. Yes, art changes over time, but the anime went a reverse route. I can only guess they spoke to the author of Inuyasha about her ships, as they did Drama CDs, and realized the mistake that was made in making him more mature than he was.

You can’t tell me he doesn’t look closer to his manga self in the final act, because he does.

Since we are on the topic of the anime, lets be clear. The anime timeline and manga timeline are very different. The story in the anime (in the English) suggests that OVER a year has past since Kagome started her journey. They try to fix this in the final act, but it was still so muddled as previous seasons are to be taken as cannon. This could have been due to an translation error in the early production when the anime no longer had anymore manga material to reference. But whatever the case, for English viewers the time the group spent together felt much longer.

So now we come to the heart of the issue.

Because of the mistakes of the anime, a lot of anti-sessrin see the relationship as father daughter. I’ll be honest, watching the anime and solely the anime as a teenager and as an adult (as the manga was on hold for a very long time due to author’s health. I was in college when it finished.), I too thought it was just a father-daughter relationship and Jaken the nanny who got punched all the time. In fact, the English took hard liberties with Kagura, as the English dubs often do with characters, and made it very clear her feelings for the demon lord and Sesshomaru very much recognized them (though he never responded). Even in her death scene, it felt as if he was saying good bye to a friend more than love interest. But who really knows, as there are things that point otherwise.  When another demon mock’s Kagura’s death, Sesshomaru gets super pissy.

The manga did also play with this fact when it came out in English, idk if the wording or message is different in the Japanese. Translation errors happen a lot even in todays releases, look at Kuroshitsuji.  So of course most anti-sessrin’s did not see this coming in Yashahime when Rin was named mother. In fact it felt like a betrayal as we were sure Sesshomaru had no romantic feelings.

Then there was the Kohaku/Rin mashup that was hinted left and right. The English anime, with its overly dramatic and blunt emotions made it appear one way. That in the end the two kids would probably be married. Then the anime as a whole made Sesshomaru older than intended. I can see why and understand how this became a problem.

On the other side of that coin.

If you followed the dub, seen ‘Swords of an Honorable Ruler’ and read the manga… Sesshomaru was not fatherly to Rin at all. In fact, Jaken picked up all of that leg work. Rin worried for Kohaku, but clearly loved Lord Sesshomaru. Sesshomaru cared about Kagura but he almost CRIED when he lost Rin.

We have to remember that Sesshomaru and Rin’s relationship must have been very hard for the demon. While we never see his mental process expect for a few rare times, we have to remember he hated humans. In the movie, he blamed a human for the early death of his father, Sesshomaru killed without mercy. It made sense that he wouldn’t be fatherly to Rin as her just being there should have caused countless inner conflicts. Hell, he even says his father’s weakness was humans, and look who picked up that trait.

Sesshomaru was designed to, someday, walk in his father’s footsteps. So sess/rin, not a surprise. Also when you see it in a historical perspective, Rin having kids around age 15-16, makes sense. In fact you could argue he waited too long for the time period.

We also need to look more at the manga when concerned with Yashahime. 8-9 months is all Rin travelled with him and he was like hold up, and left her at the village because he KNEW she needed to come to her own conclusion. That no matter what she picked he would live with and protect her. Unconditional love on his end. She cannon wise spent YEARS living with humans and MONTHS with Sesshomaru. Again, by manga standards of cannon.

Now I can already hear the screaming about age and what not. Some sources say Sesshomaru is over 900, by the rule of thumb, if we look at anime and movie releases, we have Sesshomaru being over 500 with no define age and Inuyasha around 270 years old being more pinpointed due to the movie. Just by going by ANIME CANNON. Kagome and Inuyasha, you have a 15 year old with a 270 year old man. If you say being pinned to the tree doesn’t count, then you have 220.

Also, here is something very interesting. In the episode where Inuyasha meets the unmother, he tells her, thinking it was his mom, she died when he was very small and we have flash backs later in the series of him being small running from demons. Demons clearly age much slower than humans, even half-demons. Inuyasha can be 270 but mentally and physically be 15, the same logic works for Sesshomaru, who in the manga is not much older than Inuyasha.

In the manga, there wasn’t any grooming, in the anime, there was a ton of mess-ups but no grooming.

Would this fly in todays world? HELL NO! NO, its gross, she’s a kid. Stop.

I know any fanfic I write will lean heavily on the side of father/daughter because that is what I grew up seeing on the screen. I can’t think of Rin as an adult because years of seeing her as a cheerful little girl. It’s like seeing G.O.T Arya about to have sex for the first time in season 8… I remember when she was a kid on the show. It was way to weird and I had to look away until it ended. But that’s my 2021 mentality.

But Inuyasha is not taking place in 2021. Feudal Japan is a whole other era with its own beliefs, morals and way of life. Those who understand this have nothing wrong with them. They just understand history.

Also, just to bang some nails in…

Anyone remember Bleach? Remember the MOST accepted couple was Ichigo and Rukia…. Rukia who was hundreds of years old and Ichigo who was 15… or Ichigo’s mom who was a teenager and his dad also hundreds of years old.

Most of this also boils down to Sesshomaru being a dude. As in reverse roles in animes its accepted and they don’t have the same historical context. Inuyasha is based off of historical context of Feudal Japan.

We need to stop spreading hate. We can’t accept some forms of literature because its European fantasy but bash other fantasy based literature for doing the same thing.

Sure, its weird for those who were use to seeing the father/daughter dynamic. Yes, there are extreme sessrin fans who post really questionable illegal content when they decide to leave Rin as an 8-year-old…

But this wasn’t ever meant to be perverted. The story was meant to make sense on a logical and historical base.

I hope everyone takes the time to read this. I love Inuyasha, I love Sesshomaru. I am just sick of seeing so many people fighting over what should be the revival of a beloved series. While yes, there is still room for sess/rin not being a thing, until it is stated otherwise, why hate each other? This fandom will only lose people by doing this. Calling people names or accusing them of illegal endorsement can hurt someone these days over social media.

Tumblr allows you to block tags. You don’t have to read anything or watch anything you don’t like. We gain nothing from attacking each other but can lose so much by doing so. Fanart, really good fan fiction, friends, ideas, sharing fond memories. Both sides have the right to feel as they feel, but no right in hurting each other.

A fandom is meant to bring people together. Not start a war…

Thank you.

https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/ajpa.20402

http://www.italianrenaissanceresources.com/units/unit-2/essays/husbands-and-wives/#:~:text=Marriage%20not%20only%20reflected%20order,to%20ensure%20the%20bride's%20virginity.

https://www.ancient.eu/Canterbury_Tales/

https://www.ancient.eu/article/1424/daily-life-in-medieval-japan/#:~:text=Just%20as%20Japanese%20people%20today,in%20Western%20Europe%2C%20for%20example.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Date_Masamune

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Megohime

#to the inuyasha fandom with love #to the inyasha fandom #inyasha fandom #sesshomaru fandom #rin fandom #sessrin #anti-sessrin #history #facts #logic #make love not war #fandoms are meant to bring people together #stop the hate #stop the fighting #no one is wrong #no one is right #let people do what they want #end the ship wars #please stop fighting #sesshoumaru x rin #anti sessrin #I know I am asking for trouble #yeah #Yeah I threw the bleach fandom under the bus #sorry Bleach #Sorry RukiaxIchigo shippers #read the whole thing #yes you #Inyasha #Sesshomaru

[lisinfleur]

Yule’s Tide

The request:

Author’s Notes | I hope this is a good surprise for you, love! Sorry for being late, but here it is! Universe | Vikings Pairing | Hvitserk x Reader Info | Viking Age AU, produced for Patron’s Holiday Event as a gift to @lol-haha-joke​ Words | 1589 ⁑ Warnings: Erotic content, explicit material.

Mistletoes and festoons, fruits and colored straw animals everywhere. Everything was prepared and decorated, spreading the Yule through the whole town, but not in your heart.

Your hands were spreading decorations, braiding straw animals for the children's smiles playing with the little goats you made for them. There were ribbons and dried flowers from the spring, and dried fruits you had done by yourself to serve your neighbors' tables. But there was also emptiness.

So much emptiness...

The boats had come earlier this season, but not yours. Not the one you were waiting for. Your heart wasn't heavy with sorrow nor loss for the news brought victory and you knew the half of you that was missing was alive overseas, conducting the men who stayed to stick their claim over the new lands and make the settlement solid so the others could come back and establish a base later on.

He was alive, for the sake of your relief, but far... Far away from your heart and it was hurting you.

Torvi had called you to spend the Yule nights at the Hall with your in-laws but it was too much for you to see her and Ubbe exchanging caresses when the arms that were supposed to be around you weren't anywhere to be seen.

You knew of his obligations... Yet, you wanted him here.

You would do anything to have him here. But you knew he was building his name.

Yet, it was consuming you to spend one more Yule night alone.

To be the spouse of a Viking prince wasn't easy after all. Even more, a son of Ragnar like Hvitserk was. He was charged greatness, waited to be like his father, to do something remarkable, or guide his people into glory. And you knew the path of greatness, many times, would be far away from your arms.

He never liked to leave your side, you also knew it. His hugs would always be tighter, his caresses more intense, the sex of the last night always more urgent whenever he had to leave. And he would always take longer to enter the boats than he other commanders, holding your body next to his for as long as he could before the time to go would take his warmth from your skin. But it just served to sadden your heart a little more, imagining your prince should be disappointed and sad at the camp, with his heart clenched into his chest as much as yours was crushed by the distance between the two of you.

But he was alive to be sad. He was alive to lose that Yule by your side and it was, after all, something to be celebrated. It was a reason to thank the gods for and you didn't dare to skip the proper ways to do so, preparing the Yule table with Hvitserk's favorite thematic food although it would probably go to the Hall next morning to be eaten along with the leftovers from the Yule party of your kindred.

You prepared the table carefully, not forgetting to settle the plates that should be the places for the gods you invited into a feast you would share with them alone. And you made your prayers, thanking them for the blessing of your husband's life, but daring to ask for his presence, to plead for the child you wanted so hard and still didn't come.

Spiced mead settled on your cup after pouring it for the gods, you served a small plate of food you didn't really want to eat. And without toasts or happiness, you started digging on your meal, missing the smiles and hums of satisfaction Hvitserk would always fill your ears with after a good feast like that.

It was cold outside - the winds of Winter had forced you to close your house earlier that day and maybe this was the reason why you didn't hear when someone approached until they were knocking on your door.

With a sigh, you got up from your table, abandoning the plate, thinking it could be Ubbe to reinforce Torvi's invitation for the hall you'd politely refused or to do what he had done last year, carrying you like a bag of potatoes back to the Hall, ignoring your protests just to speak with his drunken hoarse voice that his sister in law wouldn't spend the Yule alone in sadness on his watch.

You opened the door ready to say you wouldn't go this time, but your mouth didn't open. At least, not as much as your eyes.

"I didn't know... It would be this cold already..."

His voice was hoarse, he was covered in snow, shivering and fully rolled in the cloak you had done for him before his departure. But it was your Hvitserk, your prince, your beloved standing in front of your door when you thought it couldn't happen.

"Won't you call me in? It's freezing c..."

You cut his voice, jumping on his lap, embracing his neck, kissing him as tightly as you could, as if your warmth and the warm happiness of your heart were enough to expel the Winter cold from his body. And they were.

His arms embraced your waist sustaining your body suspended as you embraced his hips with your legs. His lips mashed against yours, his tongue invading your mouth, dancing with yours with the urge of the many days without you he brought with him. Your tears wetted his cheeks, but he just caressed your cheeks with his firm thumb, cleaning them at the same time he seemed to be testing if you were real or just another of his warm dreams as his touches were strong, feeling and marking your skin with that delicious thrill of his presence.

"You came, you came, my love, my prince, my heart!" your words got lost between kisses and tears and his tight embrace.

"I couldn't spend one more day without you, my love," his words were muffled against your lips, your jawline, your neck, as his kisses went down in his eagerness for your taste and your presence.

His cloak was left on the ground with the snow. The door left open and his muddy steps interrupted where his boots were left behind along with your apron.

The trail of clothes and buckles and his belts was forming itself towards your room and soon everything became warm as if it was Summer once again, with the sounds of your bed's headboard banging against the wall mixing with your moans and his muffled grunts of pleasure.

He'd never been away for so long.

You'd never felt him so touch-starved...

For hours, his fingers marked trails of shivers through your sweated skin, dragging moans from your throat and his name in a chant on your mouth. Your nails traced a map of scratches through his back he would love to feel burning in the next morning bath he intended to share with you for some more hours of you chanting pleasure like a siren for his ears.

But there was so much more than desire in his kisses, so much more than the wait for your touches. There was the love you longed so long to feel once again. The love that made Hvitserk pull your body closer to his when the pleasure was over and the two of you were down from your highs, needy to feel your skin against his for more than just the delicious sex the two of you had shared.

"You missed me too," you affirmed, caressing his hair now loose and messy as his lips were still spreading kisses through your collarbone.

"How could I not? I missed you every day and every night, my sweet princess. But the gods allowed me to come. Lady Rán guided our boat through the sea and although it was supposed to be cold and impossible to make this trip, I think her hand held our boat through the whole way, delivering us to the shore with gentle waves." he mumbled, looking at you. "She felt my need. She heard my heart begging for a chance to see you again sooner."

"She's heard my prayers for your safe return and gifted me with your presence tonight." You smiled, nuzzling your nose with his, in tender caresses.

"By the table full of good food and the trail of clothes on the way, I think you won't come to the Hall tonight, will you?" Ubbe's voice echoed from the door of your room and you giggled, not minding your nakedness under the furs.

"The gods decided to gift me tonight, brother," you said and Hvitserk giggled from his bed.

"I have a child to produce so I can call my son Jólnir and praise the gods for this Yule night!" your husband claimed, smiling at his brother. "Save some treats for me, brother! I'll be hungry tomorrow morning!"

"With all the moans I've heard from down the hill until reaching your cabin? Better save the whole feast!" Ubbe joked, leaving and closing your door behind him.

But Hvitserk just turned himself to you one more time, smiling.

"Wanna give him a symphony for the way back?" he joked and you smiled, straddling his lap.

"Let him hear us until he reaches the Hall!"

The laughs you loved so bad were back into your ears. Happiness was back into your heart once again.

That would be a wonderful Yule night, after all. And praise the gods for the blessings they poured into your life.

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[shreddedleopard]

10 Reasons it would make narrative sense for Levi and Historia’s character arcs to conclude together.

I’ve been wanting to do this for ages, but I’ve been nervous of the backlash. Feels like it’s now or never though, and theorising for/analysing stories is one of my favourite things to do - I’m clearly missing those literary analysis essays from university days. So please excuse me if you think I’m deluded - I probably am - but the analyst in me won’t let me be until I’ve got this all out of my system.

Beware, it’s a long one. There's some thoughts on chapter 130 nearest the bottom!

1. Childhood Parallels - The Abandoned Children

Levi and Historia’s childhoods mirror one another - there are striking similarities, but then also sections that fit together to complete each other, as though they are matching jigsaw pieces. The characters start out in worlds that are opposite - Historia has the comforts of a safe home, food on the table, and fresh air and sunshine. She has all the physical nourishment she needs, but she does not have her mother’s love. On the contrary, his mother’s love is the one thing Levi does have, otherwise living in poverty underground. Both their mothers, however, appear to be using sex and the idea of love as a means to survive or way to try and improve their circumstances, and it is out of this necessity that both end up being born.

Levi is clearly affected when he first hears Historia’s tale of her childhood - Isayama shows this through the fact that Levi’s plate is the only one left untouched at the end of her story. He has been so sucked in by what she’s relayed, and probably saddened, that he hasn’t been able to bring himself to eat as the others have. Historia’s story rings true with some of his own experiences, but also highlights the world he may have found himself in without his mother’s love.

Remember, Isayama consciously thinks about each panel he’s drawing - he wouldn’t include a small detail like that without reason. We see more of these instances of small but significant stylistic choices and minor details as we progress. Isayama stated in an interview that he wants to give fans an ending that fans would never guess, but that when they look back, the clues were there all along.

Continuing on with the theme of their childhoods and Isayama’s stylistic choices, let’s take a look at two significant moments:

Both characters, although experiencing different forms of deprivation initially (Physical vs. Emotional Nourishment) were abandoned at crucial moments in their lives - when they were looking for validation from their primary caregivers and the people who should have been responsible for demonstrating affection. Historia was abandoned when, after reading and taking onboard information she read in books just like her mother, she reached out to hug her, and Levi was abandoned at the moment he demonstrated that he’d absorbed everything Kenny had taught him. The parallel between these images is very powerful.

Kenny is a character that highlights more parallels between Historia and Levi.

Kenny’s words highlight the literal lack of growth in height for both Historia and Levi - both are particularly short, and also look youthful - but we can also take the words to suggest that the characters are still very much defined by what happened to them in their pasts, and have yet to step away from their demons and achieve closure on what has happened to them as children.

At this point, we can definitely say that Isayama has chosen to tie both Historia and Levi’s stories together through their childhoods - their backstories are revealed alongside each other, in the same arc of our story, and in terms of experiences, they are both identical and mirror opposite at different points.

2. Shared Values

Despite being deprived of affection for large portions of their childhoods, both Levi and Historia appear to have experienced glimmers of kindness in their darkness as well, and this has shaped some of their values and behaviours.

Levi experienced his mother's love for a short while until he lost her - we know how deeply she cared for him from her refusal to give him up despite Kenny’s advice to her when she fell pregnant. Historia had Frieda’s kindness instilled in her, even though she's not able to consciously remember her actions until later. 

Both display an affinity for animals, with several manga and even anime-only scenes where we see them being affectionate and kind to their horses. We don’t see this as prominently with any other characters.

But one of the biggest shared values is their desire to protect children. I've posted on this before, but here are a few examples of Levi being driven by this value:

It’s clear Levi has a soft spot for children. And Historia? We know her feelings on children from her first action as Queen - realised with the support of Levi.

3. Kenny’s failure … Levi’s success?

These next scenes we’ll focus on represent the moment that Levi and Historia are set up to undergo that ‘growth’ Kenny was referring to earlier in the uprising arc. Note Isayama’s choice of words here, and the symbolism of the whole scene. Kenny doesn’t tell Levi, ‘I couldn’t be someone you looked up to,’ or ‘I wasn’t fit to act as your father figure,’ he literally says ‘I can’t be some kid’s dad.” What does he do then? He shoves the titan serum at Levi.

Isayama pays great attention to this - dedicating several panels to the weighty moment, and Levi’s expression. It’s very dramatic. Notice how the word ‘Dad’ even has it’s own speech bubble. It’s almost as though Kenny is passing the mantle on to Levi - passing that responsibility on to him. It feels as though the passing of the serum replaces the missing words, ‘but you can.’ Isayama didn’t have to have Levi ask that question in the moment before Kenny passed the serum on to him. He could have positioned it so that the discussion about dreams was the precursor to the serum being passed over - which in my head, for the context of the scene, would make more sense. But he didn’t; he chose to have Kenny say that exact line to Levi - to admit his inadequacy as a father figure, with that focus on the word dad - and then hand the item over to Levi.

By itself, the scene could be seen as highlighting the ways that Levi is already a better father figure than Kenny. He has been somewhat paternal in his role as a Captain. But it’s the very next scene that brings Historia immediately into focus.

Historia looks suddenly so much maturer here, and the way the scenes sit immediately after one another feels too much like foreshadowing.

If you want the full effect of what I mean here, just rewatch this section of the anime!

We are presented with parallels between them once again. The focus of the crown and power of the monarchy being bestowed on Historia parallels the gift of the serum from Kenny to Levi - drawing on the ‘titan science’ element of the Ackerman heritage, perhaps?

Let me take a moment here, while we have these two visual representations of the Ackerman and Royal bloodlines side by side so perfectly, to point out that Isayama chose to answer a question in Bessatsu Shonen Magazine regarding the nature of a child born of both these bloodlines in 2018:

Q: If a child were to be born between two people from the royal family and the Ackerman family, which blood would take precedence? 

A: I think that both [of their bloodlines] would be reflected.

4. Blood Lines, Identity and Destinies - the Acker/Royal connection

We are still missing some information about the Ackermans, and Mikasa’s own Ackerman powers and behaviours have been a focus in recent chapters, prompting more questions. This suggests that the role of the Ackermans will be important in the story’s finale. With that said, lets have a look at what information we have about them so far in relation to the Royal Family:

- They worked closely with the Royal Family at one time, even being described as their sword and shield until they fell out of favour.

- They cannot be controlled by the king’s vow or have their memories tampered with. For this reason, they became enemies of the crown and the two bloodlines became at odds with one another.

Do either of these scenarios sound familiar in a romantic setting? The knight and princess trope has been hugely popular in fiction for as long as stories have been told - Lancelot and Guinevere is a well known classic. And two feuding families finally brought back together through love by the younger generation? Romeo and Juliet, anyone?

Okay, so maybe I’m reaching here. But Isayama has opened the discourse around this connection between the two bloodlines without concluding it, so I am certain it will have a part to play in upcoming chapters. Why create two characters from said bloodlines with such satisfyingly parallel but awful childhoods, if not to use them in some way to conclude this part of the narrative in the future?

5. The Beast Titan.

Another common plot point that Levi and Historia have is Zeke. The Beast Titan is a defining element in both their arcs. Levi is driven forward by his vow to kill Zeke, and this is repeated to the point where we expect this to be realised, or at least to see some satisfying resolution between the two. Historia’s situation is defined by her vulnerability to being turned into a Titan in order to consume Zeke. This threat to Historia’s life as a normal girl is also repeated across the later story arcs, just as Levi’s vow and apparent destiny to face off again with the Beast Titan is. If we link back to the knight princess trope, we could suggest that Historia is the metaphorical princess, Levi is the metaphorical knight, and The Beast Titan is the metaphorical dragon. The dragon must be slain in order to protect the princess, and the one to do this is always the gallant knight, or the hero. We know that Levi has been labelled Humanity’s Strongest, and even a hero, before.

It has been Levi’s destiny from the start. What's more, what is the crux of Zeke’s plan for Eldians? 

Euthanasia by preventing reproduction. Zeke’s ideology basically directly opposes the values of Levi and Historia - who wish to save as many children as possible.

6. The Smile

If there is one scene Levi fans lost their heads over, it’s this one. The Smile. Who was responsible for getting the sullen Captain to smile? None other than Queen Historia. The one time we get to see a genuine smile from him, in all 131 chapters of SNK, is when Historia playfully punches his arm. I think by this point, it is absolutely fair to say that Levi has a soft spot for her, although I’m not suggesting this is anything romantic at this stage due to her still being a child. What else is interesting about this scene? Let’s look at it from Historia’s point of view. She’s still a 15 year old girl. I’m hardly suggesting she’s got deep, meaningful feelings for a Captain so many years her senior. What I am suggesting, is that clearly there is the beginnings of her seeing him in a different light, and feeling some sort of fondness towards him too. This is also the stereotype of innocent, youthful infatuation - how many times have we seen teenagers play-fighting or bantering with the object of their affections? Something might just be stirring in Historia towards the Captain as she begins her transition into adulthood.

7. THAT (deleted) Scene

Okay, so we can’t very well talk about the smile in the context of this topic without addressing this scene:

There were a few scenes cut to make the uprising arc in the anime more streamlined. This is one of them, and again, has been one of the most talked about. People either love or hate this scene. In the manga, it absolutely sets up some major character growth for Historia, when she goes from being scared and allowing Levi to threaten her into taking an action, to standing up to him atop the wall at Orvud district, throwing his own words back at him. In contrast to Historia’s willingness, Levi becomes more receptive to her perspective and backs down, which also shows his growth. (More on that shortly!)

So, if it adds to the narrative around Levi and Historia, and is a key part of their development as characters, why did Isayama let the studio remove it? It must be because their influence on one another’s growth is no longer important to the story, correct?

If you ask me, that couldn’t be further from the truth. 

Isayama has stated there were some elements of Uprising that he was unhappy with. Just, for a moment, think how this scene would fit into the bigger picture of a relationship (whether that be deeply platonic or even romantic) between Historia and Levi. Could people get behind that knowing that once, he handled her so roughly? Does keeping this scene as canon for the anime open a can of worms in terms of what is and isn’t acceptable (even more so than the age gap already does) when it comes to a relationship? Could Isayama be seen as glorifying abuse and suggesting that female characters are likely to develop feelings for men who have treated them so poorly in the past? I completely understand Levi’s reasoning for acting this way in this scene, and I loved the set up and pay off later in the arc. However, I do believe that animating this, and then having them become much closer later in the story, could make a backlash likely.

My conclusion to this particular section is - if their influence on one another as characters was unimportant, and the payoff of them reaching a stage where they bring out the best in one another wasn’t relevant to the rest of the story, then The Smile shouldn’t have made it in, right? So much of the set up was removed that it would have been far easier to scrap the scene than to try and figure out another reason for Historia to punch Levi, and make him smile.

That punch was important. It remains for a reason.

8. Levi’s Echo

So, since we discussed the impact of Levi’s words on Historia in the previous point, and how Isayama uses them to illustrate her character growth, let’s jump ahead all the way to chapter 130. We’re now post time skip, where Historia is nineteen. She’s matured now into a young woman - a woman old enough to acceptably conceive a child. This is the chapter which caught everyone’s attention due to Historia’s words to Eren regarding the idea of said child. But first of all, I want to focus on a scene which appears a couple of panels before her question:

‘It’s not as if I’ve just been tending to cattle all this time.’

What does this line mean? The only thing we know in terms of what Historia has been doing in the time skip is that she set up an Orphanage that Levi was also very much invested in and supported her with. So she’s not only been tending to cattle, but ... tending to orphans? With the Captain’s help?

Remember how we said that Isayama doesn’t include subtle details unless there’s a reason. Having Levi support her with the orphanage as a way to show how much he cares about the poorer children wasn’t needed - we already know from several instances discussed earlier that he cares about that topic deeply. So surely this must have been a small detail to set up for a later reveal?

This line alone is interesting, but not necessarily enough to suggest a big influence from Levi. But it’s the next line that grabs attention:

‘There’s no need to fight or run.’

What does this echo?

In my mind, the reason served by this dialogue in 130 is twofold. It works with both the literal events of the deleted scene, and also with the reader’s knowledge that the scene was disregarded later:

1. There is no reason to run or to fight, because Levi is on her side now. When he originally spoke those words to her - run from me or fight me - they were used in reference to what he and the corps were going to make her do - ie, become Queen. Now, they are not forcing her to do anything - they aren’t making her comply with the 50 year plan of producing as many royal children as possible and turning herself into a titan. Instead, she’s empowered by them, and very importantly, him, to make her own decisions while they try to figure out an alternative. (Why do I say him? I’ll cover this in the next point). And yet ... she still chooses to bear a child. A child born of love, not necessity. This is the difference between the birth of her child, and her own birth. And funnily enough, Levi’s birth, too. 

The cycle of history is being broken.

2. Her words serve as a reminder that in the revised version of events, Levi never even forced that choice upon her in the first place. He’s always been her ally and treated her with care and respect. Even more reason for her to value and care for him in return. There really is no need to run or fight - from the military police, because she will bear a child, stopping them from turning her - or from Levi, either. 

9. The Hooded Figure

As promised, let me explain why I say that Levi empowers Historia (yet again) to make her own decisions. My good friend Key made a wonderful discovery regarding the hooded figure panel, and honestly, based on the evidence I’ve seen, I’d be prepared to bet a whole lot on this next claim:

Levi is the hooded figure who warned Historia of the plan to turn her.

I’ve shared Key’s original post previously, but here’s the gist, with some added observations.

Levi from the hallway; Levi from that iconic scene, fits the dimensions of the hooded figure perfectly, without having to adjust the panel sizes. 

The jacket worn is lighter in colour than Eren’s standard black one, but is reminiscent of the jackets worn by the Levi Squad in the uprising arc. The only other clue we’re given to work from is that the figure has their hands in their pockets.

Hmm ... you know who else has a habit of stuffing his hands in his pockets?

So if Levi is the one who warned Historia, is that why she subtly uses his words when talking to Eren?

Let me return to chapter 130 once more, and just invite you to read the following panels from a different angle.

10. Mikasa-Eren/Levi-Historia Parallels

Alright, so this is a bit of a head-mash, but just consider what I’m about to say. In our panels with the Historia-Eren-Zeke conversation, Mikasa is never mentioned by name once. Zeke mentions ‘this Ackerman girl,’ however there is no confirmation that Eren was in fact talking about Mikasa when he asked Zeke about the Ackerman traits ...

Isayama only shows us the conversation with Zeke after Eren has just spoken to Historia about her fate and what the Paradis government want her to do in terms of bearing children. If these are just all memory fragments of Eren’s, why would discussing this with Historia suddenly make Eren think of a conversation about Ackerman traits with Zeke?

In this conversation, Zeke puts two and two together and gathers that Eren is asking these questions because of Mikasa. He then tells him how much Mikasa obviously cares about Eren, regardless of any ‘ingrained behaviour.’ What does Eren then link this with?

The conversation where Historia asks him what he’d think if she was to bear a child. What does ingrained Ackerman behaviour and Mikasa’s true feelings have to do with Historia’s child?

I want to suggest this possibility: this conversation has nothing to do with Mikasa’s feelings for Eren, and everything to do with Levi’s feelings for Historia.

Eren even confirms that Zeke has the wrong end of the stick with asking him how he will respond to Mikasa’s feelings.

What are you even talking about?

Here, he is not considering how he will respond to Mikasa, because he can’t even contemplate that with what he is about to do, and how long he has left to live (although this may have then prompted his later conversation with Mikasa after the market - where he sees Levi save the boy that he will later kill - do you see how this is all linking together?)

Here he means the lives of Historia, her child, and potentially even Levi, as well of course as Armin, Mikasa and the rest of his friends. Want to know why I think that? Isayama hinted it. Again.

We have the image of Historia, suggesting the idea of bearing a child, followed by the image of the child Levi saved, followed by the image of Levi himself.

Isayama draws every detail in every panel for a reason. If part of his conclusion to this manga involves Levi and Historia intertwined and the birth of an Ackerman-Royal child, it won’t be a massively random idea.

It will contribute to an ending where the clues were there all along, but we never really considered them.

(There’s more, so much more, but I have to stop somewhere or I won’t leave my computer. If anyone wants a part two because you’re thirsty for more of this crap, drop me a comment!)

#Shingeki no kyojin theory #attack on titan theory #snk manga spoilers #historia reiss #Levi ackerman #Historia dad theory #Historia pregnancy #royal Ackerman connection #snk chapter 130 #snk theory #aot theory

[zechleton]

Ranting and Raving About Magic in 2022

I haven’t written about Magic in ages, so what better way could there be to get back into the habit that a stream of consciousness spiel about the 2022 announcement?

Strap in, folks, because this is going to be long and poorly edited.

Actually, it’s not that long, about 1500 words. It might feel longer, though.

Neo-Tokyo or something idk

As one of the five people on r/magictcg that didn’t want to return to Kamigawa in standard set, I have to admit this one looks surprisingly awesome. The couple of pieces of art Wizard shared looked fantastic, as usual, and I’m a sucker for that blue/pink colour scheme. I’m not a huge fan of time travel as a story telling device but since the Magic story has always served the card game, using tropes I don’t enjoy is far from a deal-breaker. Yeah – I’m cautiously optimistic about this one.

Someone Made Elspeth an Offer she Couldn’t Refuse

Obviously, we know much less about this set. Still, it sounds right up my alley. I’m curious how Wizards is going to make Magic meets The Godfather work, but the good kind of curious. On top of that, I’d really like to have some more shard-based commanders on Arena for Brawl, and I assume we’re the “three-colour demon crime families” isn’t referring to clans (triome?) again after leaving Ikoria behind. Also, come on, how can you not love the sound of demon crime families?

Glory, Glory, Dom United!

There is a part of me that gets nervous about nebulous concepts like design space whenever we go back to an old plane again. All these crossovers (more on those later) take on a different appearance when viewed through an “are they running out of ideas” lens. Still, Dominaria was fantastic, by far the best “return to” set – though I’m hoping Innistrad claims that throne in a few weeks. With that in mind, I’m expecting Wizards to knock it out of the park with DU, just like they did with Dominaria.

The Nostalgia Wars

I might scoff somewhat at Magic’s storyline sometimes, but I’ve read the stuff that people think is good. I own both collections of the Artifacts Cycle. They all pale in comparison to good fantasy, but they’re not bad, and they hold a special place in my heart from when I was more invested in stuff like lore and story. The point of that ramble? 2022, more than ever, is Wizards’ mining the seemingly neverending mineral that is nerd nostalgia. It further adds to my “are they running out of ideas” worry, but I can’t say the nostalgia hit/psychological manipulation isn’t working on me. Hell, Return to Return to Innistrad has me more excited than any set for a couple of years now so I guess I’m part of the problem.

Uncaring

The phrase “not for you” is thrown around distrubingly often in Magic circles nowadays. Unfinity, however, is decidedly not for me. And that’s fine.

Dungeons And Dragons Battle for Baldur’s Gate Commander Legends I Think That’s The Whole Title But Maybe I Missed a bit I’m not Sure

Yikes, what a mouthful. I hate the title, both its length and unwieldiness. I don’t really have much interest in the set either. Commander Legends was a neat idea with a lot of flaws. Adding crossover flavour from another IP I have little-to-no interest in isn’t helping matters, though I appreciate that Adventures in the Forgotten Realms was super popular. For me, AFR was pretty much just a core set without any of the usual references to sets I do know and care about. Another “not for me” release.

Double Trouble

Hmm. I’m torn here. As a primarily limited-focused player, Masters sets have been some of my favourites ever. Original Modern Masters is still one of my in my top five sets of all time, and I have fond memories of almost all of the others, too.

Original Double Masters, though, was a victim of apathy brought on by the never-ending deluge of Magic product being released nowadays. I have never even seen a booster of this product, much less opened one. Without looking it up, I can’t even tell you if it was hurt by the pandemic or not, because there’s just way too much fucking stuff nowadays. I don’t know what else to say.

Oh, hang on. Was this the set with a $100 VIP Booster? Hahaha, fuck off.

Jump Around

The original Jumpstart was surprisingly enjoyable on Arena. I never wanted to play it more than a few times, and sometimes you got packs that relied entirely on your opponent getting mana screwed, but those few times I played it were pretty fun. I think putting stuff like obvious eternal format staples like Alosaurus Shepherd in a set like this is some extremely anti-consumer bullshit, but as a play experience it was an interesting mesh of draft and sealed. Not as much fun as either of those, but close enough that the novelty carried it into the “pretty fun, actually” camp. I expect more of the same – I’ll probably do a few runs if I have gems or gold spare.

Universes Beyond: Warhammer 40K Commander et al

Really, this is the bit about all the crossover stuff.

Another vomit inducing title and one that has left me with some introspection to do. Like many people, I find a lot of this crossover stuff distasteful, but I can’t really say why. The fact that the Street Fighter one – an IP I have some amount of investment in – seems less egregious than Warhammer of D&D makes me think that I don’t necessarily object to crossovers on principal. Does my dislike come from the fact that, so far, all of the other crossovers don’t involve properties I care about? Maybe. Even the mechanically unique line of text that pissed off so many people when the Walking Dead set came out doesn’t bother me that much, because Commander is a format I can take or leave.

The Fortnite one rubs me a different wrong way, though. Partly, it’s the sheer fucking inevitability of it all. Of course a popular part of the nerd sphere will have a crossover with Fortnite because that’s just the world in which we live. Partly it makes me feel old, uncool, and excluded, like all the other crossovers I don’t care about, sure. But there’s something more visceral about Fortnite. It’s fucking everywhere and I resent feeling like I have to have an opinion about it. Still, I don’t really have strong opinions about most of the other crossovers, so why this one? I really don’t know. Maybe this is one “this isn’t for you” too many from a game that has been part of my life for over 20 years.

I haven’t bought a single Secret Lair, but I’m generally willing to accept that they’re a bonus product that isn’t needed by anyone but is wanted by some. Hell, if they put out Secret Lair: Snapcaster Mage with good art (at last), I could probably te tempted into picking one up. It would be against my better judgement, though. Something about all these “not necessary but also don’t miss out, aren’t they cool, spend more money please” products rubs me the wrong way. Playing Magic and hating capitalism are difficult interests to reconcile. That’s it. That’s the tagline for this article.

Oh, right, it’s just a blog. Never mind.

Oh, God. The Fornite Secret Lair is going to be the Snapcaster Mage one, isn’t it?

Then there’s Lord of The Rings. My pal Kristen will be thrilled about this, was my first thought. I’m less enthusiastic (shocker, right?), but at least LOTR makes sense as a thing to crossover with. I mean, apart from the obvious business sense. It doesn’t have any guns and it isn’t an obnoxiously ubiquitous battle royale FPS, so that already puts it ahead of two of the other three crossovers. Indeed, without LOTR, you can make a reasonable case that MTG would never exist in the first place. Personally, I view LOTR in the same way I view The Beatles – they were important, and worthy of respect, but have been surpassed in every way since.

And the movies are better than the books. There I said it.

Regardless, this one is fine, actually. I still don’t particularly care for crossovers in general, especially as the setting for a standard set, but at least it makes sense this time.

Shut up Already

Alright, I hear you. I know a lot of that was negative towards the end, but I want to reiterate that a lot of the stuff happening in standard sets next year is really exciting, if a little unoriginal. The crossover/sellout stuff and the interminable deluge of FOMO-driven products is worrying and disappointing, but I guess we just have to try and ignore the ever-increasing number of “not for you” products and focus on the stuff we do like. Seriously, Neon Destiny looks amazing, and I don’t even like anime.

#mtg #magic the gathering #kamigawa #neon dynasty #brothers war #dominaria #dominaria united #jumpstart #warhammer #lord of the rings #lotr #crossover #cash-in #capitalism #anti-consumer #secret lair #fortnite #D&D #baldurs gate gale #stream of consciousness

[shipmistress9]

The Chief And Her Bride

Fandom: HTTYD

Rating: E

Pairing: Hiccup/Astrid

Theme: fem!cup. femslash. fluff. smut

Summary: Astrid loves Hiccup dearly, but she never expected for their relationship to last. So it falls to Hiccup to convince her girlfriend that she won't let anyone separate them. Not even her own father.

AN: Finally! I've been working on this little story for ages, and now, finally, the first chapter is done. What do we have? Female Hiccup and Astrid, in a canon-like setting after HTTYD where Stoick lives, Valka didn't stay, and RTTE is semi-canon. I take what fits. This mostly was supposed to be a test for me whether I even can write femslash. I'm still practising, but I also like this story very much. Also, I thought a while about whether to change Hiccup's name or not, but in the end, I decided against it.

. o O o .

It didn’t take Astrid long to find Hiccup. There was only one place her girlfriend would go when she was stressed or upset, and so Astrid wasn’t surprised at all when she spotted Toothless’s black form lounging near the pond when she and Stormfly reached the cove. Hiccup sat to the side, her back against a rock, her good leg tugged under herself, and her eyes gazing unseeingly into the distance.

After landing, Astrid affectionately scratcher her dragon at her belly before sending her off to play. Then she sauntered over to where Hiccup sat, still lost in her thoughts.

“Hey,” Astrid greeted her as she got closer.

Hiccup blinked before turning her head, then gave her a warm if a little tense smile. “Hey.”

Astrid let herself slide to the ground next to Hiccup. “So… what happened?” she asked. There was no point in pretending nothing had happened; Hiccup had left the village without a word after talking to her father, and Astrid knew Hiccup too well to be fooled.

Hiccup gave a suppressed sigh. She reached for a fallen leaf and nervously picked it apart with her nimble fingers.

“This morning, my dad wanted to talk to me,” she eventually said, and Astrid nodded. She’d noticed that much. “It’s… After what happened with Drago, he wants me to be prepared to take over the village at any moment. Which makes sense, I guess, with how Dad almost got killed in that fight.” She looked up, her pretty green eyes meeting Astrid’s. “And I don’t really mind. I mean, I get it. I need to be prepared and all. It’s just–” She broke off, lips pressed into a thin line.

Astrid reached for Hiccup’s hand, entwining her fingers with her own. “What is it, babe?”

Oh, she had an idea of what Stoick had brought up for his daughter to be so upset. But, maybe, it was something else. Maybe they would have a last reprieve.

Hiccup swallowed. “Dad... He wants me… wants me to get married.” She scratched at her neck and gave Astrid a tense look. “He said that, for the good of the people, I should get a strong partner, someone who can help me carry the burden. Mum returning to live at her sanctuary must have hit him harder than he’s letting on.” Hiccup chuckled weakly, but quickly turned serious again, solemn even.

However, Astrid had barely listened anymore after Hiccup’s first words. Ever since they’d confessed their love to each other two years ago, she’d known it would come to this. Awkward as it had been at first, Astrid was never as happy as in the minutes she got to spend with Hiccup, feeling her touch, her kiss, her body against her own. She loved her, her wit, her intelligence, the way they constantly challenged each other in different ways. But right from the beginning, there had always been an end date for them. The village had accepted their relationship without much irritation, even Stoick. But that was probably because they’d all known it couldn’t last.

Slowly, Astrid withdrew her hand from Hiccup’s, hoping that she wouldn’t notice how much her fingers were shaking. This was going to be hard, for both of them. But she knew it would be even harder for Hiccup if she knew how much their inevitable breakup affected Astrid.

“So, it’s over then,” she whispered, nodding. Gods, why was her voice so brittle? “And I think Stoick is right, Berk will need strong leaders. We can’t only rely on the dragons to protect us. So, uh, did… did he already pick a husband for you? Which alliance would be the most beneficial? Dagur would certainly be interested. Or what about Throk? An alliance with the Defenders of the Wing could help boost your credibility as a female leader. I mean, nobody would ever doubt Mala’s ability to lead her people…”

She trailed off, a weird chuckle dropping off her lips even as she had to avert her face so Hiccup wouldn’t notice the shimmer of tears in her eyes. Gods, she couldn’t start crying now. She was strong and independent, a warrior, captain of the Berk Guard. A broken heart wouldn’t throw her off track, it was nothing.

Even though being with Hiccup was all she really wanted…

“Wait, what?” Hiccup’s words broke her out of her spiralling thoughts. She sounded… off. Confused. Lost. 

With a sigh, Astrid forced herself to meet Hiccup’s gaze again. “Well, we always knew it would end that way, right? Us, I mean. And… i-it’s okay. I won’t hold it against you. Berk comes first, and it’s your place to lead them. I just…” She let out a hiccupy sigh. “I don’t know, maybe I’ll ask Atali whether I can stay with them for a while, and—”

Astrid gasped when Hiccup reached for her hands again, a strange urgency in that gesture that made her look up again.

“What are you talking about?” Hiccup asked, confused. Her hands were shaking now, too, Astrid noticed. “I… I won’t marry either of them, no matter what Dad wants. I won’t give up on us! He didn’t choose anyone for me, wanted me to choose a partner for myself. And I already have. I—”

She broke off, biting her lip and her shoulders slumping as insecurity overtook her. Astrid had seen this expression so often on her… Out of reflex, her hands squeezed Hiccup; reassuringly. No matter how much her heart was hurting at the prospect of leaving Hiccup, she would always support her.

Hiccup looked up again, the expression in her eyes so pleading and vulnerable that it made Astrid choke. ”Astrid, I… I chose you.”

Astrid’s eyes grew wide. “What?”

Hiccup pulled up her shoulders, her gaze intensifying. “Everything we accomplished over the years, the Edge, the Dragon Hunters, Drago… I couldn’t have done any of that without you. And I thought… well… that it would always be like that. You and me, together. You’re the only person I can imagine spending my life with. So I choose you. If… if you want me?”

For a minute, Astrid could only stare, stunned. Then laughter broke out of her, and she nodded eagerly and stammered, “I… Yes! Yes, of course, I do.” 

But no matter how happy Hiccup’s words made her, the feeling only lasted for a brief moment , only until reality caught up with her again. Her shoulders slumped, her smile falling off her face. “But… it’s impossible,” she murmured.

“What?” Oh, Hiccup sounded so hurt.

It tore Astrid’s heart to pieces. Inwardly chastising herself, Astrid pushed her own pain aside, and said, “Oh, Hiccup… I’d love to tie the knot with you and stand by your side, you know that, right? But we can’t do that. Stoick won’t allow it. The traditions and rules are clear.” Her eyes were burning, and she looked away; she didn’t want Hiccup to see how sad she was. “Your father will insist on you marrying a man, someone to forge a political alliance, if possible. And you’d need an heir anyway. I won’t be in your way to fulfil your duty.”

Swallowing, Astrid tried not to think about it. Unlike herself, Hiccup had never been with anyone but her. Hiccup wasn’t even interested in men. The thought of her being forced into a marriage she didn’t want… it wasn’t fair!

“So-so you would reject me? You’d leave?” Hiccup’s voice sounded hollow, forlorn. So small and lost.

Weakly, Astrid nodded, shrugged. “I hope that you’ll be happy. As happy as you can be. But… I don’t think I have the strength to stand by and watch, at least not right away. And… maybe it’ll even help you settle in more easily, if I’m not around to remind you…” She paused, pulling away. “I hope you can forgive me one day, but–”

“No!”

Astrid looked up, scared of what she would see. She’d never wanted to cause Hiccup pain.

But to her relief, there was no pain in her eyes. All she saw there was the typical Haddock stubbornness, mixed with traces of excitement and joy. 

“No, ‘but’, Astrid. If this is what you want too, if you’ll accept me… then nothing will come between us.”

“But your father—”

Hiccup shook her head, her long auburn locks flying around, wild and untamed as always. “I won't let him come between us. He likes you, that much I already know. And he told me he’s happy to see me happy with you. So, if he still wants to separate us… then…” She took a deep breath. “Then he’ll have to train another heir.”

Astrid’s eyes widened. “You’d give up your birthright?”

“For you? Yes. I want to lead our people and I’m prepared for this duty. But only on my terms. I’ll do it with you, together. Or not at all.”

Astrid needed a second to let Hiccup’s words sink in. Then she let out a weak laugh and threw herself around her neck, knocking them both down into the grass. They kissed, an overwhelming sense of giddiness making them both giggle against each other’s lips.

When they came up to breathe again, Astrid’d mind was consumed by overwhelming happiness. Never had she even dared to hope for this outcome, but here now they were, and with this new assurance, she wouldn’t let anyone get between them, either. 

 She noticed that Hiccup’s hands were trembling, though, so Astrid took them in her own. She could sense how agitated she was, and breathed soft and calming kisses onto her knuckles. Sometimes, Hiccup needed a minute to get order into her thoughts.

“What’s up?” she eventually asked, looking up at Hiccup with a reassuring smile. 

Hiccup smiled back, though hesitantly, and her hands tightened around Astrid’s. “I was… pretty nervous, to be honest,” she said with a shaky laugh. “I wasn’t sure how you’D react, and… “ She shook her head, but then suddenly became serious. “Astrid… Why did you say that? Earlier, I mean. About how we always knew it would end that way? What was that about?”

Astrid bit her lip and averted her face. After Hiccup’s vehement confession just minutes ago, this felt silly now. With an embarrassed shrug, she said, “It’s… what I thought would happen, what I was prepared for. I love you, Hiccup, you know that, and these past two years with you have only deepened my feelings for you. But… well, I always expected we’d have to part one day, that this happiness I felt with you would only be temporary. That to become Chief, you'd enter a political marriage, or…” She trailed off, shrugging helplessly.

“Oh,” Hiccup said. 

She needed a minute to process, time Astrid used to battle down her own worries. She didn’t want for Hiccup to step down, knew how much the people of Berk meant to her. But that she was willing to risk her father’s anger for her meant a lot to Astrid. And maybe it wouldn’t even have to come this far. Maybe they’d be able to convince Stoick…

“So…” Hiccup eventually said. ”Throughout all this time, you thought we’d have to break up, eventually?”

Slowly, Astrid nodded. She looked up, searching for what to say, but never got the chance. From one second to the other, Hiccup was right in front of her, her hands cradling her face and her lips pressed to her own. Astrid gasped, happily surprised. Usually, Hiccup was much more timid, shy even, so her starting anything was rare. 

“So that’s why you sometimes acted so reserved,” Hiccup murmured against her lips. “And here I feared you wouldn’t want to stay with me.”

“What? You—”

But Hiccup interrupted her with another kiss. “Doesn’t matter. You spent two years thinking we couldn’t last. That I would leave you at my dad’s command. That I wouldn't do anything to stay with you.” She came closer, one hand caressing along Astrid’s face while the other landed on her waist, holding her in a light embrace. “Astrid, these past two years have been the happiest of my life. I can’t even put into words how much you mean to me, how empty my live would be without you. But while I was happy, you always worried, and I didn’t even notice.” 

Astrid wanted to object, to assure her that she’d been happy, too. But before she could get out even one word, Hiccup kissed her again, more energetic than usual, and it left Astrid breathless, happiness fluttering in her chest. Her hands came up to pull Hiccup closer, wandering along her soft curves, exploring her. Hiccup was always shy, hesitant about carrying things further, so it had become their routine that Astrid was the one to take the initiative. But when her hands reached Hiccups breasts, palming them through her tunic and playing with her covered nipples, she shook her head. 

“Today is my turn,” she breathed, joy and confidence dancing in her green eyes when they met Astrid’s. “Can I do this for you? Please?”

A little overwhelmed, Astrid nodded. She enjoyed taking the lead in their lovemaking, but seeing Hiccup like this, confident and eager to take over? It was something else. It meant that Hiccup trusted her enough to allow herself to make mistakes, and that was possibly a greater gift than anything else. 

They ended up lying in the soft gras, kissing, groping. Astrid revelled in feeling Hiccup’s soft curves beneath her hands and against her own body, the same as it had been yesterday, and yet, everything felt so new. More meaningful. Complete. 

Only slowly, they discarded one piece of clothing after the other. There was no hurry in Hiccup’s motions; she thoroughly appreciated every bit of revealed skin with kisses and caresses, leaving Astrid tingling all over. She tried to return the favour, at least a little, but Hiccup was too thorough, too distracting for her to do much but take her attention. Prior to being with Astrid, she didn’t have any experience with sex and intimacy. But she’d always been observant in everything, a quick learner, and this was no different. Hiccup knew which spots on Astrid’s body were sensitive and how to best stimulate them, had memorised her like a map, and it didn’t take much for her to turn her into a helpless and needy mess.

“Hiccup…” she mewled, hardly able to do more than cling to curvy hips or clutch at the grass beneath them.

But there was no reprieve. Hiccup was kneeling across her left leg, the right lifted and loosely wrapped around her waist. She was leaning down to distract Astrid with kisses, hot and open-mouthed, while her hand worked between Astrid’s thighs, slowly buy relentlessly. Long and nimble fingers caressed along her folds and brushed over her clit, making her body tremble with desire.

If Astrid had had the mind for it, she might have regretted teaching Hiccup about teasing and edging, about how to drive her lover insane with building pleasure. But as it was, Astrid’s mind was entirely empty safe for the wonderful, amazing, merciless things Hiccup made her feel. By now, her fingers were inside her, moving in and out in a pace just quick enough to keep her from calming down. She barely managed to open her eyes and look up into beautiful green eyes, Hiccup’s long auburn curls falling around them like a curtain. There was a flash of eager satisfaction in those eyes, a smirk tugging at full lips as she curled her fingers. Her aim was perfect, hitting Astrid’s g-spot and drawing a cry from her lips. Her back arched at the burst of pleasure, but it wasn’t enough to reach her climax, and it soon became clear that Hiccup wasn’t planning to let her soon, either. 

Astrid lost all sense of time, writhing and bucking beneath Hiccup’s confident ministrations for what felt like hours. It felt so good to give herself up and into Hiccup’s care. Astrid trusted her with no exceptions, and so she did the only thing she could, took it all until she felt like she would combust any moment now. 

“Oh, please,” she whimpered as Hiccup shifted the angle once again, just a tiny bit but it was enough to push her away from that edge once again. “P-please, Hiccup. I…” 

She couldn’t even form coherent words anymore, but it seemed to be enough nonetheless, Hiccup sensing that she couldn’t take much more and showing mercy. 

“Yes,” Hiccup breathed, her mouth at her ear, lips nipping at sensitive skin. Her movements sped up, fingers thrusting into her and always hitting the mark. Her thumb rubbed at her clit, over and over, until Astrid’s body became rigid, and the waves of pleasure broke above her. 

A cry tore itself from Astrid’s throat as she came, back arching and toes curling. Her hands clutched at whatever they could find, and her head rolled uncontrollably from one side to the other, the intensity of her climax almost too much for her to bear. It consumed her, head to toe, a sensation like lightning shooting through her body. It made her arms and legs shake, made colourful lights explode behind her eyes, and made her scream and yell without any filter. 

Once it was over, she only slowly found her way back into reality. Around her, the world was spinning and swimming out of focus, her body not fully reacting as it was supposed to. 

“That was… oh, wow. Amazing!” she gasped after a minute, still catching her breath. She finally managed to focus her gaze on Hiccup who was leaning over her, with a smug grin on her lips and her eyes beaming.

“Well, I had the best teacher.”

They both laughed, then Hiccup laid down next to her, both entangled in a tight embrace. 

“Just give me a few minutes, then I’ll get back to you,” Astrid murmured. She felt heavy, sleepy, but it wouldn’t be fair to leave Hiccup hanging like that. 

Hiccup chuckled, but it sounded strained. “No need for that now,” she said, her voice a little tense. 

Her arms tightened around Astrid, her finger digging into her arm as if to hold on to her. “First, he should talk to my dad.” 

. o O o .

AN: Sooo, that was that. :) Thoughts and comments highly appreciated.

#Hiccstird #fanfiction #httyd #nsft #femslash #femslash february #fluff #not for children #fem!cup #female Hiccup

[kaibacorpintern]

For the prompt thing: kaiba + yuugi + professionalism!

this was fun!! thanks to @dxmichelle for the retail stories. kaiba as a retail worker is like me when I was a retail worker because when i worked at a barnes and noble, i spent a LOT of time perfectly squaring the books. anyway all the kaibacorp adventure park castmembers get some fat fucking pay raise/benefit boosts after this

***

This was all Jounouchi’s fucking fault and Seto was never agreeing to any stupid fucking bets again. When did he become a good duelist, instead of just a lucky one? And he knew it, too, announcing his plans to win the Domino City Invitational with the kind of brash, easy confidence that was a front for nothing, a Roman wall around nothing, with nothing he needed to defend on the other side. As hard to read as a coloring book. Asshole. 

“The gods have struck men down for less hubris than this,” Seto snapped, over a game of poker at Yuugi’s weekly game night. Mokuba had badgered him into attending after their return from the yearly strategic planning retreat with the board. You need to be around normal people! No more sharks in people suits! 

“So what? You don’t believe in higher powers, Rich Boy.”

 “In my experience, a god and a higher power are two separate things."

“Oh, okay, Neeshee. Maybe you don’t believe in me, but you do believe in games,” Jounouchi said.

“Devastating insight,” Seto said. “And it’s Nietzsche.”

“Bless you. Don't be rude and sneeze into a tissue next time. Let’s make a bet. When I win the Invitational, you… pick up all my shifts at the Kame Game Shop for a week. I take home all the paychecks, but you do all the work. You know, bog-standard capitalism.”

Seto rolled his eyes. “When you lose, you give the jet a good wash and wax. Then you throw your deck and your Duel Disk into the river, and never duel again.”

“Deal. And I tell you what, Kaiba. One day we’re gonna meet across the field, and you’re going to lose, but it won’t even bother you, because you had just so much fun,” Jounouchi said, extending his hand across the table, with a savage grin. 

“Don’t fucking threaten me,” Seto said, shaking his hand.

Asshole! Jounouchi stomped the competition with an ease Seto hadn’t seen since he was fourteen and unceremoniously sacking Inspector Haga at the Pan Pacific Final. 

At least Yuugi gave him his own nametag, instead of making him wear Jounouchi’s: a plastic, turtle-shaped badge with a white space for his name. There was a line below it that said MY FAVORITE GAME IS... chess, Seto wrote in moodily, with the marker. Then he affixed it to his dark-green apron, neatly and precisely, just over his heart.

Yuugi nudged the curtain into the stock room aside, wearing a matching apron and smiling like he was trying very hard not to laugh.

“Ready to clock in - oh, no. This is the Kame Game Shop,” he said, reaching up to fix Seto’s name tag, tweaking it to sit slightly at an angle. “Perfect right angles are for squares.”

“A KaibaCorp Adventure Park castmember wouldn’t be caught dead with their nametag this sloppy,” Seto snapped.

“It’s not sloppy. It’s jaunty and playful,” Yuugi corrected. “Now, let’s review. You’re an engineering prodigy, so I’m sure you can handle the register. What do we do when a customer walks in?”

Seto sighed, hands bracing on his hips as his eyes rolled towards the ceiling. That asshole picked up five full days of double shifts. 

“Welcome them when they walk in,” he said, as Yuugi nodded along. “Ask if they need any help. If they’re just browsing, leave them alone. Provide recommendations if they ask.”

“And?” Yuugi prompted, raising his eyebrows.

“Wrap and bag their purchases and thank them for wasting my fucking time.”

Yuugi reached up, pressing the tips of his index fingers into Seto’s cheeks. “No! Smile!” 

Seto bared his teeth.

“Can’t believe people call you a bad sport,” Yuugi said. “Maybe just smize instead. Go! Clock in! Upsell your own Duel Disk!”

Seto let out a final dramatic huff, took the clipboard off its hook on the wall, and added his billion-dollar contract signature to the timesheet, below several rows of Jounouchi’s scrawl. 

***

After four hours, Seto took his lunch break, an all-too-brief thirty minutes in the alley behind the Game Shop, leaning back with one foot propped against the wall, answering emails on his phone with all the speed and fury his thumbs could muster. It was high summer. Vines spilled over the wall on the other side of the alleyway, limp and vibrating with heat. Even the shade under the wall was warm. 

The side door opened. He turned his head, preparing a choice little bon mot for Yuugi, and paused, his breath hitching in his chest with a wild regret, birdlike, startled suddenly out of hiding. 

He stared at Sugoroku, privately cursing Jounouchi for the nth time for making the fucking bet, winning the fucking Invitational, and putting him here in this fucking alleyway, staring at Sugoroku. It was too late to go back inside. Sugoroku stared back, hoary-haired, stooped under the weight of his years. Even wizened, with skin like old, pale leather, the family resemblances were clear: the same big, warm eyes, the same bright smile, no less weakened for age. 

He shuffled out the door, dragging a small garbage bag of recycling beside him.

“Open that up and drop this in, will you please? My back’s not what it used to be.”

“Yes,” Seto said, rapidly stooping to take the bag. Should he add sir? Yes, sir? He hadn’t said 'sir' to anyone in ten years. What was he supposed to say? Sorry. I was not myself. I was myself, but the worst version. It was the beta release of me and we have removed the bugs (the murder bugs) in advance of stable release. All remaining bugs are acceptable. We have added accurate legal and medical disclaimers to all our SolidVision and Virtual World products about how the sensory intensity of KaibaCorp proprietary holographic technology may exacerbate existing heart conditions. I am taking good care of her and I love her and she loves me. Who? Her. The dragon. 

He dropped the bag into the recycling bin several steps away and turned around to face Sugoroku, summoning his resolve with an inhale, exhale, firm and deep. 

“How’s your first day?” Sugoroku said.

“My company isn’t going down in flames without me,” Seto said. “Color me surprised.”

“How’s your first day here?”

“Enthralling. The adrenaline high of consumer retail is really just something else - ”

“Speak up, I can’t hear you over all that racket you’re making,” Sugoroku said. Seto paused, bewildered, mouth half-open - and shut it, color flaring across his face.

“Uh - fine,” he muttered. “It’s fine. I helped an eight-year-old pick out a board game.”

“Oh?”

“Yes. She came in with all the allowance she’d saved up and she wanted something she could play with her sister. I sold her on mancala."

"That's a classic. Not a board game, but a classic. And hard to sell to children."

Seto scoffed. "I hate the crap they pass off as board games these days, with all the… fiddly, little plastic pieces and the arcane rules. Children get drawn in by the colors, but they don't have patience for the rules, so it ends up forgotten at the bottom of a bookshelf somewhere with half the pieces sucked up in the vacuum cleaner. Mancala is simple. You can play it with a patch of dirt and a handful of gravel. But if you want to win, you need to play with skill and wit. It's timeless. It’s elegant."

"Well, you've sold me. I haven’t played mancala in years. Shall we play tomorrow? During your lunch break?"

Seto said nothing, resisting the urge to bite his lip, a bad habit and a sign of nervousness.

“Yuugi speaks very highly of you, you know,” Sugoroku said. “I’d love to know why.”

He chuckled and shuffled back inside, leaving Seto fuming with an odd, stomach-clenching embarrassment. 

He checked his phone. Three more minutes left of his lunch break, and his feet were aching. He should’ve worn different shoes, not the Chelsea boots. Tomorrow. Mancala? Damn Jounouchi to hell. Better shoes.

***

“Excuse me,” the woman said. “Do you have Legendary Heroes II?”

Seto abandoned his task of aligning board game boxes at perfect right angles. Fuck jaunty and playful.

“No. That’s not out until December,” he said. The production issues on Legendary Heroes II were a fucking nightmare, and the thought of making his game developers crunch - making them miserable, overworked, and more likely to quit and get snapped up by Schroeder Corp - gave him hives. So he’d pushed release back to December, allowing the small hit to his stock under the rationale that the holiday retail season would make up for it. But she didn’t need to know that. 

“But - it’s my son’s birthday next Saturday, and Legendary Heroes is his favorite game,” she said, hands clenching loosely by her stomach, a gesture of pleading.

“I’m delighted to hear it. It does not change the fact that the game literally does not exist,” Seto said. 

“Can you just check in the back? He’s been asking about this for months now,” she said, and Seto clicked his teeth, face slipping into a snarl - from the corner of his eye, he saw Yuugi, watching him.

Smile, he mouthed, and pressed his fingers into his own cheeks, putting on a manic, plastic grin. 

“Of course. I’ll be right back,” Seto said, smiling, and stormed away. As expected, he did not find Legendary Heroes II in the stock room. He dawdled, checking his email, firing off a few replies, advising Mokuba on the right way to handle the zesty temperament of their general counsel - this’ll be fun, Mokuba said, I get to run KaibaCorp without you, like, dying or something - WHAT? - and stashed his phone back into his apron pocket.

“My apologies,” he said, returning to the woman. “We don’t have it in stock. If you’d like to pre-order it, it’ll be available just in time for Christmas. Just log on to the KaibaCorp website and enter the Kame Game Shop as your pick-up location. If you’re still looking for a birthday gift, I strongly suggest the new Duel Disk. The design is much better for children than the old one - lighter and more streamlined, with less intense haptics. If he already has a Duel Disk, he can bring that in for a trade-in.”

“Oh, perfect!” she said. “We'll do that. Thank you. You’ve been so helpful.”

“You’re welcome. Have a fantastic day,” Seto said, still smiling. He watched her leave and returned to his board game boxes, feeling hideously, fabulously smug. A customer walked in, carrying a bare Duel Disk under his arm, and Seto shot him a cheerful welcome. The man ignored him, heading straight to Yuugi at the counter.

***

Yuugi swallowed, squared his shoulders, and lifted his chin.

"I'm sorry. We cannot accept a Duel Disk return without a box or a receipt," he said. Clearly stolen. 

"But I bought it here two weeks ago. And the stupid piece of shit is defective," the man said. "I want my money back!"

Loud enough that Seto, re-stocking towards the front of the store, turned towards them, with open curiosity.

"What's the nature of the defect?" Yuugi said.

"It just doesn't fucking work. I don't know what else to tell you," the guy said. "Are you gonna do the return or not?!"

His least favorite type of customer: smashing reason apart with the baseball bat of belligerence. Yuugi steeled himself for the inevitable slew of insults. 

"Sir. I can't do the return without a receipt - "

A hand came down on his shoulder, pulling him with polite insistence out of the way. Seto, with a canny, feline smile, the kind that foretold bloodshed on the dueling field.

"Oh no, Yuugi," he said. "Let me handle this."

#fanfiction #norealgoodbyes

[be-dazzled]

Miraxus Day: Family is Family

Laxus Dreyar, Mirajane Strauss November 8, 2020 Dedication: To my small Miraxus family. I love you all.

Writer’s Corner: Of course I’m not gonna forget. This is such a mess. I was going back and forth with drama, comedy, drama and comedy. It’s all over the place! But I hope you guys still appreciate it. Let me know what you guys think.

HAPPY MIRAXUS DAY!

All rights reserve to Hiro Mashima, original creator.

Masterlist

---

Family. That’s all Laxus ever wanted – a family. He used to believe that a mother, a father and a child made a family. But Laxus came into a world his mother had just left and all he had was his father. He thought maybe the two of them were enough but Ivan’s quest for power had consumed him and eventually, Laxus was not enough anymore.

Gramps came into his life and introduced him to a new home – Fairy Tail. But even then, his concept of family never changed. Laxus still considered his father as family, the only one he had aside from Makarov. And so, when Gramps was forced to excommunicate Ivan, Laxus considered it the highest betrayal. Because what father could disown his own son? What family would choose strangers over one’s own flesh and blood?

His dear Gramps destroyed Laxus’ family and he was so filled with hatred and darkness that he started to believe that there was no such thing as family. Only power.

Little by little, he had become his father – so obsessed with power that he was willing to step on and destroy what his grandfather held closest to his heart. But deep inside Laxus knew it wasn’t the search for power that pushed him to declare the battle of Fairy Tail. It was his hatred of his grandfather who chose a bunch of strangers over his own son. It was his loathing of Makarov, who created his own family in Fairy Tail, and left Laxus alone and lonely. Without a family. He was so consumed by his hatred that he failed to see that the only reason Makarov protected Fairy Tail was so that Laxus would never feel lonely ever again. That he would always have a family.

He was beyond saving but Makarov never gave up on him.

It was a long road for Laxus but in the end he came to finally understand what Gramps was trying to tell him. That family was not only defined by blood but most importantly, it was about love. In the end, he finally realized that he had family and all along, he was home.

But something was still missing.

---

Laxus’ return to the guild did not usually call for some big celebration because they did not need Laxus to create some ruckus. They got Gray and Natsu for that. Recently, however, it wasn’t only the Thunder God Tribe whose faces lit up every time the big boss came back from his long missions. One pair of blue eyes gleamed upon his return.

Mirajane Strauss. Now, that’s the woman who knew the importance of family. She had dedicated her life to protect her own.

“Welcome back, Laxus.”

There was surprise in the dragon slayer’s eyes but one that was welcomed. He gave him a soft smile, one that was considered meager as compared to Mirajane’s.

“I hope you weren’t charged with so much damages.” Mirajane started a conversation while she took the accomplishment report from the S-Class mage.

“I’m not Natsu.” defended Laxus, “nor Erza.” His orange eyes followed the Head Waitress as she read the report and filed it in the books. He planned on taking the day off and getting some much deserved rest. However, the job request Mirajane just handed to him was going to put a dent on that plan.

“Don’t forget about your promise.”

Laxus did not. He was a man of his words and when Mira decided to cash in on that promise, he would definitely honor them. But the thought had kept him up some nights. Knowing Mirajane, she’d cash in soon and would probably make him do things he’d never do as long as he was alive. Despite his inhibitions, he still agreed to go on a job with Mira. They argued about their meeting point: him wanting to pick her up from her house and Mirajane wanting to do the opposite. His pride was not having it, so, they settled on meeting halfway.

“Oi, Demon. Don’t make me do weird things.”

It was one of his wisest decisions to leave before Mirajane gave him details of the job.

“I won’t!” Mira shouted after him and the Dragon Slayer disappeared behind the wooden doors.

The next day, they met right in front of the guild, where they mutually decided was fair for the both of them. Mirajane led him to a residential district, lined on either side with common bungalow houses. Laxus was right to worry about that bright smile and even brighter blue eyes, when, at the end of the block, they were welcomed by a nice middle-aged couple about to leave them five crazy boys to care for the day. In short, Mirajane just dragged him, the great Lightning Dragon Slayer, Laxus Dreyar, into a baby-sitting job. Him? Makarov’s grandson about to follow into his footsteps in leading Fiore’s strongest guild? One of the most respected mages of whole Earthland? A Dragon freaking Slayer? Going to babysit a crazy bunch on a sugar rush? No way, Ma’am. Not in this lifetime.

If Mirajane wanted to spend her day babysitting, that’s up to her. Not Laxus Dreyar.

But if Mirajane said they were going to spend their day babysitting, that’s what they were going to do.

That’s how Laxus Dreyar found himself in the middle of all that chaos: dangling two thrashing boys in either arm; head throbbing, ear splitting from all the screaming; staying really, really still in the middle of the kitchen floor because there were loose marbles all around him. The reason why he was in the middle of marble island was with him too but instead, she was wobbly carrying some easily breakable plates.

“Kids! Don’t run around please.”

Laxus tilted his head on the side, just a little tilt, and wondered how Mirajane could keep the honey on her voice despite those little spawns of the devil making their job a tad harder than usual. If it was up to him, he’d fry the little demons and call it a night. Five evil boys, at their age and without a nanny? What were that middle-aged couple thinking? But Mirajane was nothing but patient with those kids, like she had always been with the grown-ass children back at the guild, and she was pretty good at it. So, Laxus was going to trust Mirajane with whatever crazy plan she was going to come up with.

“Do we have a plan?” asked he, trying very much not to be condescending, even though he was really close to just squeezing the squirming boys into silence, with his bare arms.

“Put me down, spark plugs!”

Laxus had learned earlier in life, you have to be stern with these boys or you would never get the respect you deserve. So, he stared down that little demon and pulled the most deadly glare he had mastered.

“I’m gonna show you plugs if you don’t keep quiet.”

Which, his inexperienced ass had taught him, was not a very good idea, since the boy with mahogany hair discovered a higher pitch for his screaming.

Definitely not the best idea.

“So?” He turned back to the woman who at least was the more experienced between them.

All the answer she could offer him was an apologetic smile – beautiful but apologetic smile. Then, not like it was crazy enough – that Mirajane was out of any ideas, crazy or not – the universe was really testing them. Five, eight and ten year olds never listen to anything an adult says. Because when you tell them not to run around, they bump into you while you’re carrying a tower of ceramic plates.

So, Laxus had to step up and use some magic. He charged the marbles with small static to clear up a way for Mirajane.

“Cool!” one of the kids exclaimed and the two stubborn rascals in his arms stopped squirming for freedom. The kids all demanded he do it again, cheering him on until Laxus caved in.

Now, he wasn’t the kind of man who got pushed over and ordered around. No one could make Laxus do what he didn’t want to do. But those kids were looking at him like was some kind of a hero. And so, Laxus charged the marbles again so they rolled around the kitchen floor in some entertaining fashion. The boys didn’t move an inch.

Kids were too easy.

Easy to win over and had no loyalty, at all.

Because now they were entertaining their eyes with Mirajane’s Take-Over magic. Who even thought a pink giant lizard was cool?

Traitors.

His static charged marbles rolling around every direction was way, way cooler.

Laxus did not feel abandoned by his disciples. No way. He decided to sit there at the couch, comfortably at that, and scoffed at those simpletons who thought a blue bunny existed in this world. Geez. His great magic skills were a waste on those kids. Laxus glanced towards where the giggly laughters were coming from.

What a bunch of school girls.

Laxus was just thankful he didn’t have to waste any more energy on children’s play, quite literally. But his plan on spending the rest of the night slipping into a nap – and letting Mirajane do all the babysitting – was put on hold when, at the corner of his eyes, he saw a nonthreatening silhouette standing under the arch. Not a second later, a little girl holding a blue bunny stepped into the light. They held each other’s stare, one studying the other. Then, the little girl with the long reddish, brownish hair approached the big guy on her parent’s couch.

“Who are you?” interrogated her. “And why are you lazing around in my house?”

Laxus thought she was very articulate for a little girl.

“Laxus.” He offered his name. “I’m your bab– I’m your guardian for tonight.”

“You mean my babysitter?”

One orange eye twitched at the word. It was enough Laxus had his argumentative baby blue eyes at home; he didn’t need another one on his job too.

“Guardian. Alright?” insisted the big guy. “Now, it’s past your bed time. Why are you still up?”

“Those brats woke me up.”

She climbed onto the couch and settled next to her babysitter. The way she casually dropped he word ‘brat’ pulled the corners of Laxus’ mouth just slightly up but the spark of amusement in his eyes showed that his interest was piqued.

“Is that your girlfriend?”

Laxus’ orange eyes followed her stare and saw Mirajane turning back to her original form. But one who never shared about his life, the guardian a.k.a babysitter tried to dodge the bullet.

“Didn’t your parents tell you not to talk to strangers?”

She nodded in response. “Stranger Danger.”

Laxus wanted to ignore the kid but she had other plans.

“Is she your girlfriend?”

“So, why are you still talking to me?”

“You gave me your name. So, you’re not a stranger.”

Laxus kept his lips shut just in case smarty-mouth took the hint and would just go away. Turned out, she wasn’t as smart as he thought she was.

“Is she your girlfriend?”

Couldn’t get the hint.

“I could be dangerous.”

“You’re a big guy lazing around a couch.” She gave her a look that made him feel like he was stupid. “How dangerous can you be?”

That was not only Little Miss Smarty Pants being such a smart pants but also being the ingenious, unintentional snark that she apparently was. Laxus could feel another headache coming.

“How old are you again?”

“Eight. Is she your girlfriend?”

Laxus eyed the girl, giving her one of those serious, intimidating look he used to scare the people in his guild with. It did not make her budge, not even just a little. Laxus just had to admit defeat. The little girl was not going to drop the subject until she was satisfied with an answer.

“Sort of.”

Appearing satisfied with that, the smarty pants whipped her head to the side to study the lady who was making her brothers guffaw. In just a matter of seconds, she already made up her mind about Mirajane. “She isn’t that pretty.”

That was a surprise for Laxus. As far as he knew, Mirajane Strauss was every man’s dream. Sometimes, a woman’s too. Guys wanted her. Girls wished they could be her. But, what did an eight year old know?

The girl turned to face him again and, in a matter-of-fact tone, told him he could do better.

Laxus folded his lips to keep that thin line on his face from pulling wider. He didn't want to be the one to tell Mirajane that an eight year old girl just flatly told him that Laxus was out of Mirajane’s league. He couldn't fault the child for being that honest. Kids didn't lie.

"You think so?"

"Yeah." The little girl answered around a big yawn. Then, she leaned on the big guy and rested her head against his arm, pulling her blue bunny tight to her chest. “Way better.”

It maybe wasn't right for him to feel good about that but he did. Sure, he wasn't going to win the best secret boyfriend award but the woman being so lovable made him doubt himself. Laxus knew he wasn't the friendly, approachable type. Kids were either afraid or just dismissive of him. He had improved over the years but sometimes, as much as he told himself it didn’t bother him, Laxus was worried that he wasn’t as likeable as Gramps, who was grooming him to be the next Guild Master. There were times he’d think he made a breakthrough, like earlier, when those boys looked up to him like he was the greatest thing in the world. Then, all of the sudden, he wasn’t. But thanks to this little girl sleeping soundly beside him, Laxus felt a lot better.

---

“She said that?”

Mirajane showed no signs of being bothered or insulted by a little girl calling her ‘not that pretty’. In fact, she was more surprised that Laxus was the one hogging their conversation. He tried to repress the enthusiasm in his voice and expression but the Dragon Slayer was never this chatty. On their walks, Laxus always played the audience and Mira would always talk his ears off.

“Don’t take it too personally.”

It was very late in the evening and the two managed to put the kids to sleep before the couple came home to relieve them. Guardian missions paid well and Laxus finally realized why.

“Those boys gave you a hard time, huh?”

“It’s like we never left the guild.” Mirajane’s giggles were abruptly cut off by the sudden gush of wind.

Laxus noticed it. So, he shrugged out of his large coat and draped it over Mira’s shoulders. To keep himself warm, he shoved his hands inside his pant pockets and slid closer to her as they continued with their walk home. Bickslow said something about sharing heat or something. He said girls liked that.

“Mina’s just like you.”

The declaration made Mirajane turn to him, a bit surprised. The little girl obviously hated her. “Really? How so?”

“She snores when she sleeps.”

Yeah, she thought. She pulls your hair and pretends to sleep too.

“Oh.” Mirajane didn’t really know what to make of it. She was sure she didn’t snore. Or did she?

“And talks in her sleep.”

Mirajane didn’t think she did that. But that wasn’t the thought that caused her stop and fall behind. Looking back, she realized that from the client’s house up to now, they’ve only been talking about the boys and their sister, Mina. Laxus even had that warm expression on his face when she talked about the little girl who slapped and kicked Mirajane when she tried to pick her up from the couch to place to bed. But when it was Laxus who carried her away, Mina snuggled up to him and slept in his arms, like a baby.

“Mina’s really…” Laxus struggled, although he tried not to show it, to look for the right word to finish his sentence. “C-cu–. Mira?” He only noticed Mira’s absence when he looked at beside him and she wasn’t there.

“Oi,” Laxus came back for her. Worry and confusion made lines appear on his forehead, “what’s wrong?”

She stared at him, studying his features slowly changed as years passed by. Mira remembered the time when he was just a little boy, the cute young golden boy who doted on his grandfather. The little boy whom people expected great things from. Vignettes of his growing years played in her memory, his highs and his lows, until her reminiscing brought her to the here and now, staring at the man that Laxus had become.

“Mirajane.” His voice was laced with equal concern and warning.

“Do you know why I took this mission?”

She was proud of him, of how far Laxus had come. He started as a sweet kid; broken by what Laxus took as his grandfather’s betrayal when he sent away Ivan; until he found his way back home.

“I’m not in the mood to play guesses, Mira.”

And he realized that family was not only defined by blood but also by love. That we may be born into a family but sometimes, when we are lucky, we find one or we get to create our own.

“Because I wanted to see how you’ll be around kids.” Without knowing it, tears had started to roll down her cheeks. Mira rested her hand over her belly, feeling the bump that wasn’t there yet. “Now that we’re expecting one.”

The cruel, November wind slapped on Mira’s tear-stricken cheeks. It was late and the streets had been emptied. From Laxus’ expression, she was glad they had the privacy to have that conversation. Mira dropped the hand on her belly and tightened the large coat around her body with it. For the first time since she received the good news, Mirajane got scared. She got scared as she stared into Laxus’ widened eyes and found no emotion in them. She took a step back, mind in complete mess.

Did he not want the child? Would she be raising their child on her own?

Questions ran around and about her mind. But Mirajane was strong. In those quick moments when he said nothing, she tried to rebuild a life that was just in ruins.

Mira took a deep breath, mustering the courage to tell him, “You… you don’t have to do anything. I–”

But before she could finish her sentence, Laxus had bridged the small distance she placed between them. He dropped his head on her shoulder and once again, they fell into complete silence.

“I’m just tired, Mira.”

Laxus words were muffled by the collar of his coat but Mirajane could hear the croak in his voice. He didn’t say anything after that but Mira noticed his shoulders lightly shaking. When he shifted his head to nuzzle at the crook of her neck, she felt his warm tears. Right there and then, without Laxus saying anything, Mira finally understood his feelings. She gently patted the back of his head, silently telling him that it was okay. They were going to be okay. They were going to figure it out, together.

Laxus then wrapped his arms around Mira’s slender figure, tighter and tighter, until her fears were squashed. The thought of messing it up as first time parents tentatively crossed her mind but she wasn’t afraid of it. Because it was Laxus. Because she was going to embark on that journey with Laxus. Because even in his small voice, she heard his words over the low howling of the November wind.

“Thank you, Mira.”

Family. That’s all Laxus ever wanted – a family. Even if his definition of it had changed over the years, one stood the test of time. Laxus was the luckiest man alive to have known a family defined by blood, by love and now, by both.

---

Bonus:

Laxus did not know regrets. He believed that everything that happened – good or bad –were, simply, opportunities to learn.

But now he was starting to regret when he told his wife he wanted a daughter.

“I hate you, Papa!”

His three year-old hit him with a fist in the face. Now, being the daughter of two of the strongest mages in Fairy Tail, his daughter’s punch could not be taken lightly.

“Princess, you need to eat your vegetables.”

“No!”

“But it will help you grow.”

She crossed her arms and barked a definite, “No!”

If she was a boy, Laxus’ glare would do the trick. But when it comes to his little princess, Fairy Tail’s ninth guild-master could not keep a straight face, how much more a frown.

“But–”

“See? This is why you shouldn’t spoil her.” Mirajane, with a slight bump on her tummy, moved around her husband to her seat at the dining table. She wasn’t too far along but already showing. “Fayna, you need to eat your vegetables.”

The Dreyar daughter did not say a word but only gave her mother a look that said, ‘make me’, which Mirajane did not appreciate coming from a three year old. It also didn’t help that pregnancy hormones cut her patience by half; so, Mira stared back at her daughter and the two ended up in a silly stand-off, while the father took the cowardly way out by just waiting for them to stop.

Just another day at the Dreyar House.

Laxus knew exactly how it would end – with his little princess crying to her daddy.

Fayna’s baby blue eyes brimmed with tears. Laxus just had to count to three until his little demon conceded to the other demon in the house, curl up to her daddy and cry to him.

“Mama’s being mean, again?”

Fayna buried her face against the dragon-slayer’s chest and nodded, clutching on his father’s pressed shirt.

“Laxus!”

The dragon-slayer shrugged but gave his wife an apologetic smile. Papa Laxus was definitely whipped and totally twisted around his little princess’ finger. Mirajane did not like it one bit. She didn’t like to always play the bad guy and she told him about that. Laxus promised he would try to be stern with the little demon. When the time came, he’d be the one to discipline her.

Laxus sought her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, his orange eyes begging for understanding. Mirajane just rolled her eyes and Laxus mouthed quick thanks.

When the day came that his daughter wanted to learn magic and eventually joined the guild. When she finally went to her first mission without her Papa and Mama. When Fayna finally sought her independence, he’ll subject her to the same discipline the Guild Master puts all the kids at the guild. No special treatment for his Fayna.

But for the meantime, while Fayna was still his baby girl and she still liked her papa, Laxus wanted to spoil his little princess.

#miraxus #miraxus day #miraxus day 2020 #laxus dreyar #mirajane strauss #be-dazzled #lamira

[arastarboy]

The Sparrow's Heart

Chapter 1 - Death

The bells rang ever so loudly in his head, their harrowing sounds growing evermore present, like an incessant nuisance. Until this critical juncture, where they at last silenced themselves. He found peace at last. The droplets of rain striking his smeared visage cleansed of the impurities that stained him, but there was an untraceable bitter taste that lingered on his tongue where the rain fell. The coldness spread from his core to the extremities, swallowing him whole. It wasn't long before the calming touch of the rain he relished mere moments ago, now felt like nothing at all. Genji turned his gaze from the endless cloudy sky to where he felt some sensation. He looked down, to see his severed arm paint the earth with a sorrowful crimson. A blade impaled through his sternum, the sparrow still felt the steel extend its reach beyond his bareback. Weakness overcame him but in a moment of solace, as he accepted his faith and prepared for departure to the endless nothingness that awaited him, he mustered the strength to grasp the hand that wielded the bane of his existence with the arm that remained tethered.

"Are you at peace, Hanzo?" The Sparrow muttered, an inquiry met by damning silence. "You've fulfilled your duty and slain your only brother." Still, he was met with silence and with frustration mounting a second wind sparked new life within. A grip that fixated on Hanzo's wrist now took him by the collar drawing Hanzo closer to his brother, as death's grip tightened around Genji. "You're despicable. You didn't learn a thing from our father. You let the elders played you like some pawn."

The blade from Genji's abdomen was extracted, at last, the venom in his dying words finally began to take effect upon the apathetic Hanzo, invoking the turbulence of emotions, he so desperately attempted to suppress, to surface. Angered, Hanzo gave his brother one final push, forsaking him to the earth. A solemn vow to fulfill his duty to the clan he valued above all else, including the life of his brother, upon which he metaphorically spit on with a last act of disrespect. "You're but a disgrace to the clan. You are not fit to be Shimada. You have forgotten the burden the name carries. We can no longer abide by your childish behaviour, Genji."

Turning heel the last living Shimada departed, kicking dirt onto the body that would soon be a corpse. It was only mere moments ago, that he could appreciate the colourless darkened sky in all its glory. It was monotone and drab, but there was beauty in simplicity. Beauty that slipped from his grasp with each passing second, slowly the crying skies above became nothing but a hazy reflection until it became nothing at all. An endless void from which light could not escape, the eternal nothingness. Genji verbalized nothing for he damned his faith, he did not embrace death willingly and it is only in his twilight he came to realize. Death had forced thyself upon him. How he longed for the pleasures of the flesh that he once drowned in, without a thought for consequence. A female companion wrapped around one arm and a drink that would make any man far more honest than he was capable of being in the other. Even the sounds of the arcade machines now played in his head like an addictive melody, even if such sounds were anything but. "I don't want to.." But the choice was not one for him to make.

"Calling Overwatch HQ, Agent ID: X-90843. Operation: Dragon's Breath. Code Alpha: Requesting immediate medical assistance. The subject is in critical condition. EMT has stemmed the bleeding but the wounds still prove to be fatal. Transporting subject to Tokyo facility. Priority: Valkyrie."

"Out of the way!"

"Operating room now!"

"Where is she?!"

"She's on her, ETA 15 mins. Tracer is with her."

"He won't make the 15 mins."

The hands of time mercilessly marched on. With each second that was lost to the sands of time, Genji's spirit communion to the great beyond intensified. A pitiless existence, transfixed onto the great divide between life and death, unallowed to cross into either.

"Even if she gets here now, there's nothing she can do.."

"Then it's a good thing Overwatch's medical research is ahead of its time wouldn't you say?"

A voice commanded the attention of the room as the doors to the operating room flung open. The committer, however, was careful not to contaminate the cleanroom and abide by the strict protocols set in place, dressed in a white lab coat, flaxen hair tied up and away from potentially hindering her work, a stethoscope slung around her neck. She walked with purpose and urgency, just a pace short of running. Approaching the patient with one glance she assessed his condition, the accompanying report was studied just as quickly and put to the side, which only served to reinforce what she had already predicted. "You over there!" She commanded personnel as if this was a battlefield and she was the presiding commander. Beeps of all kind sounded off, each one indicating one critical condition after another. They were cascading, mounting, becoming overwhelming.

"He's going into cardiac arrest!"

Even as the room around her descended the spiral of chaos, she stood steady at the eye of the storm, steadfast and resolute, armed with the skills and knowledge to navigate the storm. With two paddles she marched onto his bedside. "Move!" She demanded. "Clear!" She carried as she imposed the two paddles onto his chest. The electrocardiogram detected no significant change. So she tried again. "Clear!" And again. "Clear!" And Again. "Clear!"

"Dr. Ziegler.." A nurse placed a hand on her shoulder, to distract and detract but the same complexion of determination persevered. "Clear!" She slowly retreated the paddles. Perhaps it was time to admit, admit that even for all the advancements in medicine she made, all the times she stubbornly defied the odds, there are some souls the grim reaper was unwilling to let loose once more onto the world. It was then, the eternal void answered her remorse. The monitors once more established a steady pattern. The heartbeat she read was weak, but it was stable.

"Induce hibernation for at least a month." She directed. "Providing he can maintain this heart rate for another hour we can proceed with the operation. We'll need to amputate both legs. The tissue has already begun to die, we need to act quickly before an infection sets in. Ready the therapeutic cybernetics, we'll install them right away, as long as the neural interface is successful he should wake up feeling as if nothing has changed."

Drawing a pen from her pocket, she recovered a holo pad upon which she scribed all her directives and approved with her impression at the bottom, before handing it off to the appropriate staff to follow through.

"Prepare the healing pod. There's not much tissue left, but we'll at least be able to regenerate what remains."

The doctor turned to the patient once more, sapphire hues carefully studying what remained. From what patches of skin not stained by crimson, she could deduce the man either maintained an effective skincare routine of sorts or was blessed by genetics. He was an ideal "specimen" so to speak, a good bone structure served as the framework for his figure, upon which he maintained an ideal muscle tone. Perhaps the picture of health so frivolously the media often advertised. Yet for all his physical virtues, he'd now be forced to forfeit nearly all to cling to what little life still sparked within. A sense of remorse now burdened the prodigal doctor. The man appeared to be around the same age as her, uncertain as she didn't have the opportunity to study identity details yet, being consumed by the severity of his injuries. Despite his youth, he was massacred, defiled, what remained was a husk of who he once was. Wounds so deep it cut to the bone, and in some instances wounds, the cut bone was openly exposed to the contaminant-less air of the operating room. Angela bit her lower lip, a growing frustration burrowed in her chest, this was more than attempted murder this was all-consuming hatred unleashed onto another, an act of sincere evil.

Irrespective of the therapies that would restore his body's full functionality, in some instances enhancing his capabilities, allowing him to discard the limitations of the fragile human body, the extent of the mental trauma he'd now be forced to cope with remained an uncertainty. He'd continuously tread the line between man and machine, would he be able to establish equilibrium? The porcelain skin of her thin digits caressed the edges of the gaping wound upon his chest. It was a prayer if anything. Not that she invested much faith in an omnipotent force beyond human comprehension, but if there ever was such a thing, let it show him mercy. There she felt some reassurance, an answer to her prayer of sorts, a strong steady rhythm to his breathing as if he was stubbornly defying the odds and clinging to life. The crestfallen doctor found some solace, at last, which manifested as a subtle smile that curved to her pale lips. "Don't give up." She whispered

"Dr. Ziegler. Commander Morrison, Blackwatch Commander Reyes, and Captain Amari are here to see you." She turned her head in surprise, seldom did the three heads of Overwatch convene. To add to the exceptionality of the moment, the three gathered to addressed her, whereas more often than not, her correspondence with top brass involved exclusively Morrison. Intrigued Angela pried herself away from the table and departed the room. "Prep him for surgery." She instructed before her impromptu exit.

"Commander Morrison, if this is about the situation in Switzerland my team there is more than capable of handling it." She quickly commented, taking a stab in the dark as to what pressing concern would warrant such an intervention here.

"It's not about that Angela. But this a sensitive matter, let's find somewhere quiet." The air in the atmosphere suddenly grew heavy. Angela felt the temperature of the room plummet and her bones grow stiff. Something ominous hung between the two parties convened here, She studied their expression and she could already deduce whatever the matter was, it was something she wouldn't be able to stomach. The doctor sighed, venting the doubts that restrained her before she followed the three into an isolated room and as the door shut behind her the sense of tension only wrung tighter.

Nearly an hour had passed.

"No way!" She stated thunderously, her voice carrying to the nearby halls, warranting the few curious eyes to wander to the room through the glass window. All such gazes were met with a scornful one from Reyes, that immediately re-directed them back to their duties.

"Angela, calm down. This benefits Overwatch and the people of Japan. We haven't gained any ground in our fight against the Shimada, this is our best chance." Morrison interjected.

"I won't!" She protested with vigour once more.

"Angela, you're being stubborn." They presented a unified front, with even Ana echoing their sentiments. Angela felt as if she was being cornered, forced to do their bidding or else, but she was not so easily toppled, she'd stand her ground and uphold her morals. Superiors or not, she had no intention of following through.

"Stubborn!? I developed that technology to increase the survivability of our soldiers on the front lines. The technology isn't even finished, neural compatibility caps out at 75% on even the most trained soldiers who have been using enhanced augments for 10 or more years and prolonged connection could permanently damage the nervous system. But you're asking me to administer an upscaled version of that technology to a patient who barely escaped death. You're trying to turn him into a living weapon for your war and I won't do it! It's unethical and that putting it mildly." Angela explained, all the details laid bare before top brass, every argument a sound objection against their stance. Yet even after sharing a glance, they appeared to remain unmoved. "He doesn't deserve this…"

"Yes but I understand that the cybernetics can shock his nervous system awake once initialized it might even bring him out of his hibernation state," Morrison added.

"I-" Angela prepared to defy them one more, dissuade them if possible, open their eyes to this corrupted train of thought but she was interrupted by a hand being hammered onto the table that divided the two sides. Reyes, at last, stood from his seat and approached, the taller man now towering over her. Eyes that knew no compassion attempted to pacify her but it was met with a gaze deterministic gaze that did not crumble to such petty displays of power. Angela stood her ground against that scowl.

"Angela-" But Reyes was quickly interrupted. "It's Dr. Ziegler."

"Fine." After a huff, he continued, unperturbed by her open defiance. "I am the one responsible for Genji Shimada, as I am the leader of the operation, assigned by that man right over there." An extended index pointed to Morrison sitting across the table and the doctor's vision tracked to meet an apathetic gaze. "I allowed you to save him but if you won't do as you're told I'll easily give that to someone who has the stomach to do what is necessary since you do not."

"It's not a matter of having the stomach for it, it's about wanting to do what's right, and it's my technology," Angela answered his blatant insinuation of her cowardice. A slap to the face, how she would like to respond in kind but such an action would only weaken the position she fixed herself in. Ethics guided her judgement, and she could not comprehend why it didn't at the very least guide Morrison and Amari as well. Her response was met with a satisfied smirk from the Blackwatch commander. More than an insult, now he was mocking her. She didn't have the power to stop the proverbial train travelling at Mach speeds and he knew. So through his mannerisms, he provoked her, provoked her to do something imprudent and permanently validate him. Ziegler clenched her fist, ready to do just that.

"All technology you develop while working in Overwatch belongs to Overwatch. All I have to do is hand over all this tech to someone who sees things a little differently." Reyes carefully navigated the dynamics of power in this conversation, slowly robbing Angela of all of it. If this were chess, he'd be but one move away from checkmate and now he reached for the final piece to do just that. "But I wonder. Can you trust someone else to do it right? Are you willing to play with someone else's life just to defy a direct order, doctor?"

Enraged, Angela gritted her teeth, canalizing all her rage into that right fist, ready to unleash it all unto that smug face and permanently free him from his arrogance. Faith intervened however, a device mounted to her wrist sounded off an alarm, reminding her of her priorities and keeping her grounded in this trapped cage. She looked at Reyes. "You're despicable." She said with conviction, before marching through him and shoving Reyes aside with her forearm to exit the room.

"That was over the line Reyes," Amari commented, reflecting on his conduct before the doctor. It was met with nothing more than a shrug of his shoulders as a retort.

"Over the line or not. She has no choice now." The Blackwatch commander triumphantly remarked, without a thought to his methods.

Morrison simply observed, in silence, hesitant to the leap to the defence of either of his friends. As he saw it, the objective they established was accomplished, however crudely it may have been achieved.

Angela slowly traversed the halls to her destination, her thoughts all-consumed by the situation imposed onto her. She tried to internally reconcile the two opposing sides with an explanation that was sufficiently satisfied but she couldn't conjure on. From every which angle she approached this problem, it was unjust. She just simply couldn't do it. She soon turned her gaze up from the floor, her team was ready to undertake the surgery. What deliberations she had regarding the previously discussed subject would have to wait, as now this required her unbridled focus. As she entered the room a nurse had offered her a mask, one she placed against her face and the automated features of the masked worked to secure its position there. Angela looked down at her gloved hand where the sensation lingered, the feeling of his beating chest, the feeling of him fighting for his life. She was unsure why she clung to that feeling but it gave her some respite at this moment. Ste stepped forth, and beyond the curtain, there he was; Genji Shimada.

--

Links to this Chapter on:

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/13817101/1/The-Sparrow-s-Heart

https://www.wattpad.com/amp/1025065233?__twitter_impression=true

#genji #gency #overwatch #overwatch gency #angela ziegler #mercy overwatch #romance #drama #fanfic

[talesofealdancynedom]

Electra, grown, with her selkie furs.

Tale 31: If We Lost The Sea Wives (chapter 3 - Electra’s coat  3/5 ) part 7. Stories of Magic Forests

no warings

              Fey are made by The Beast Kings, and thus magic itself. They know no time, feel no hate, take no side, and cannot form judgement. They are unable to age, and are stuck in an immature state. But that’s their charm. Fey are both very human, but distinctly not. Neither animal, nor person. Their humanness is why people love them, and requite fey affection on occasion. This is the only way a fey can have parents; Instead of being formed by magic itself, fey can breed if they know true love. The child will always be the same fey as it’s fey parent, but will also always be raised like a human.

              Saturn Firepot and his selkie wife, Iearda were expecting a baby. She did not comprehend the array of emotional human responses, or even notice she was with child. But Saturn of coarse, was excitemed. The cabin freshly finished, and in the fire of love, his life felt like it couldn’t get any better. He had graduated with his specialist degree, and had begun his own research. Saturn felt like he was in his prime. In fact, his glasses were a little too rosy. Due seeing fey as human, Saturn forgot his one and only was a fish fey; And thus if the baby was a girl, she too would be a selkie. A daughter would need to be fully submerged to turn into a seal, in order to survive. A son would just be a regular human boy. Nowhere in the other ten lands, was not knowing the gender of your baby, been so stressful. Worse yet, the home birthing culture was intense, due to the commonality of men marrying and reproducing with sea wives. Selkies were known to bite in such stressful times, and partially still had their seal teeth. A blood wound was nothing, compared to the fact Saturn was too ashamed of his predicament to do it all properly. He bought a tub to fill with sea water at their beach, and relied on the fact that fey don’t get birth complications; Because their made of magic, not biology.

              Once the drama was over, and Firepot’s sea wife sat by the tide; Recovering without a clue what just happened. Meanwhile, Saturn bathed his daughter in the tub. Only Northland Sea water was good enough for his child. The adorable ross seal pup, starred up at him, barely able to swim. The baby just turned into a seal upon touching the water. While Saturn was distracted,  someone entered the beach house. As grey mist suddenly settled, it felt like it was going to rain. Saturn took the pup out of the water to cradle her, as unease set in. When he looked at his new daughter, she was now a baby swaddled in a little white fur coat.

“She needs a name. Don’t worry, I’m used to it.” An ethereal woman’s voice chimed. Saturn looked up to see a large woman of his people, with long wavy ginger hair, eyes of the sea, and a large spiked crown; the Fish King, in all her beauty. Men however, become entranced upon seeing her land form, and Saturn was reduced into a catatonic state while the Fish King named the girl.

“Her name is Electrid. As her father, you get to know that. It’s ok if I tell you. I trust as a seer, you know the importance of a fey’s name.” The Fish King said, leaving through the glass sliding doors. The thin curtains blew, as a light salty breeze waved in. When Saturn came out of his trance, his daughter was crying, and the beach was empty. His selkie love had gone back to the sea. Saturn was left clutching his fey daughter, completely alone. He began rocking and sobbing with her, on his knees on the cabin floor. He had no local family, or friends. It was just him in a cabin, by a magic ocean, on an abandoned beach, looking into the infinite misty ocean. Heartbroken.

              Saturn was destroyed that his one true love would put on her skin, and leave. She seemed so content the year and a half. It made Saturn feel secure. He wasn’t forcing her to stay however. Ierna’s coat always hung on the hat stand, by the porch. Fey often have no logical reason for their actions. As a seer of fey, he knew this. It is possible, that she may forget about him with time. Ierna had been away from the sea for so long, perhaps she missed it and wanted an extended vacation. Either way, Saturn decided he would never have it happen again. He took off his daughter’s snowy Selkie coat, and stuffed it in a trunk at the foot of his bed. Then he the girl in human baby clothes.

Without her skin, she was a normal baby girl; Normal enough to convince the local hospital to give her a birth certificate, and his last name. Human bottles, human food, human clothes, human language, and human books. He went the extra mile, to make sure no one knew Electra was anything but a regular daughter. He told lie after lie, to affirm he was a single parent. Any time Electra gazed into the sea, or couldn’t relate to the other children, Saturn would say everyone is different, and distract her with affection. Anything to prevent the most precious thing to him, form returning to the ocean forever. It had been years, and Ierna was still gone. Saturn had now become the cooky village wizard, living alone on a beach.

               It is fair to say, that Saturn was so good at hiding Electra’s feyness, that everyone was fooled, including her. His apt knowledge of fey behaviour, from his job, meant he knew how to raise and teach her to be more like a person. The teeth were a little hard to explain sometimes; As mentioned, selkies have slightly seal like teeth, even in human form. All things considered, fey or not, both father and daughter got joy and fulfillment with only each other to love. Exclusive cuddle rights, fish pie, and Welsh cakes. Listening to radio shows, while playing on the beach with the other fey. Saturn had told all of them long ago, not to tell Electra or any other human, that she was a selkie. They loved him so much by then, they obliged without question. Each dragon, fairy, and fish, did not understand why a human would desire such a simple favour, but it was no problem as they have little to say to most common men.

Saturn became so lost in raising Electra, and keeping up the lie, that he forgot she would grow up. Without understanding human emotions. Electra often made assumptions about life stages, and appropriate social etiquette. Electra, shortly after graduating secondary school, came home with a young lad one afternoon. She had just gone out for cabbage, but also decided to pick up a boy she thought was cute as well.

“Daddy! Can he join us for dinner? I offered to show him our beach house and quiet bay. He said yes! He is so charming, and he dyed his hair orchid to match his kilt. It looks gleaming in traditional knots; and brings out his grey eyes! Oh, and he makes me smile, as everything he says is so sweet!” Electra ranted, starring at the man, like she was consumed by his essence. The boy seemed a bit rattled, and Saturn, as an overprotective father, was livid.

“Excuse me; Who are you? What are you doing with my daughter?” he said firmly.

“I’m Jasper of house Nix. She... She’s the local girl who wears the flowy dresses, and stares at me often; Oh, and she brings me daisies.” He responded. “I approached her, to ask why she was acting all odd; Then she asked if I wanted to go to the beach, and I said yes! She is by far, the most adorable maiden in town, and she looks just like you, I do say! Down to the grey eyes and ginger hair, she does!  You must be her father?”

“Aye…” Saturn said. It was worse than he thought. Electra had become infatuated with an idiot. As the village of Isfisceard was used to magic, and mundane ladies of beauty swooning, it could blur together. The lad had no clue, Electra was a selkie. He assumed she was just charismatic and flirty.

“You built this beach house? It’s homey. I love the yellow and white cabin aesthetic, on the amber wood. This place smells of the ocean and my favourite black tea. Oh, and just look at the enchanting view!” Jasper said, looking into the sea. For once, Electra wasn’t looking into the ocean; She was looking at Jasper. Saturn shrugged, and offered him a beach-side picnic. He was indeed a very sweet boy. Jasper helped clean up, danced with Electra, spouted nothing but positivity, and may have been too stupid to know malice. He reminded Saturn of himself. It made him continue the lie, and preserve their innocent love. He could tell by the look on Electra’s face, she was more then just fond of him. Electra wouldn’t love again in his lifetime; Fey can’t become infatuated again, until their previous obsession dies, or they succumb to grief with the passing of the one who loved them back. This made Saturn invested in the pair. He wanted his little girl to be happy, and see their happily ever after, as his was so brief.

              After almost a year of regular dating, Jasper requited her love, and moved into the beach house. They all shared black coffee, that mixed with the salty temperate breeze. They listened to the hum of the storms, gulls, and the sea shell wind chimes. Jasper and Saturn would sing together, for the sea fey, making Electra’s day. For all sea daughters love song. Everything seemed perfect again. Then Saturn got a job offer, in The Grand West. As a fey expert, and professor at an academy; He was being promoted. Assured his cabin, beach, and darling daughter was safe with Jasper, he accepted the offer. Like the call of a second chance, he was eager to take. Saturn took Electra’s coat with him, and continued to tell everyone his beautiful little girl, with a sort of inhuman beauty, was one hundred percent human. Anything to keep her happy, safe, and on land. Anything to make sure that when he returned, his baby girl would be there.

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#art #tales of ealdan cynedom #fantasy #selkie #story 31 #firepot #electra #short stories