oh????? Ur standing in a doorway?????????? In the hall?????? HOW DARE YOU
*attacks wall/trim on a doorway* *runs away as fast as possible* *returns only to dance towards you sideways with his tail poofed and hackles up as if you are Scary and he’s trying to make himself Scarier*
Us: ??????????????? Ok
Him 20 seconds later: you’re back? Are you coming to pet me??? *rolls onto his back, meowing as if there’s no tomorrow* pET ME!!!!!!!!! Plsss peT Me!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Us: *doesn’t pet him bc we just walked in to grab something real quick*
Him:
YOu arEn’T PeTTIng mE???????????
*pulls himself toward you with his paws* *meows even louder*
listen there really was just something about how in the book, snow’s 3-page descent from hesitant lover boy to deluded psychopath happens entirely in his mind. lucy gray gives him no indication whatsoever that she suspects him, that she’s going to leave or betray him. he’s just sitting quietly in the cabin waiting for her to return when that seed of calculated suspicion, which he has needed to survive the capitol, takes a hold of him and chokes the life out of any goodness left inside him. it really drives home your terror as a reader that “oh my god did he kill her? did she escape? what happened to her? why would he even think that?” in a way that when the movie had to adjust for visualization it lost some of that holy shit this guy has lost it emphasis.
I need Aziraphale learning very quickly that being kind and considerate gets him nowhere in Heaven, so he tucks away his goofy, big-hearted nature and just turns into a maliciously compliant Bitch™.
This is a man who canonically has "discouraged" multiple mobster groups threatening to burn his bookshop, who has successfully scared hundreds of customers away by being just unpleasant enough and who dropped down three octaves to correct Furfur when he messed up his name.
He swallows his pride, puts on a power suit and starts executing a Corporate Nightmare upon upper management in Heaven.