#but yeah im really exhausted

[muscariii]

I don't have much time to draw because of school but I managed to do some lazy drawings today.

I actually wanted to make something with colors and stuff but I just can't find any time to do that. At least this week since I have a lot of studying on my head right now. But maybe I'll manage to draw more on the weekend!!

So for now here's a usual Nerevar and Rasha thing :3

They're really fun to draw for me. I feel like I keep making both of their hair longer and longer so uh... Whoops :T

#i want to post more stuff but its hard when i have so much to do right now #im actually really exhausted from all the things i need to get done #kinda wish i could write those finals already so that i dont have to worry about them anymore #and also i just hate my school because its terrible and sucks at its job #but yeah. more stuff coming soon #tes #the elder scrolls #morrowind #tes morrowind #indoril nerevar #nerevar #nerevarine #dagoth ur #voryn dagoth #tes oc #muscariart

[callisteios]

in my new uquiz i ask the question in all your hearts, are you even good enough to have imposter syndrome?

#yeah it only has seven results im still exhausted from that god quiz with 35 results #if this reads as really tonally incoherent i have literally come back to this about 15 times #like this went through so many iterations. i was originally going to be really mean #but why would i do that? #ive just got to post because its never going to be what i want it to be #ok so now for the most important tag #mashmouths #you said this would be a good one to do next like 6 months ago and i have been struggling ever since then to get it done #this one's for you #quiz #uquiz #etc

[skunkes]

doing figure drawing studies because i know thats what i should be doing right now but also ive been in a very insane deranged state for the past 2 months that leaves me like this whenever i look at a man for too long

#talkys #im gonna say some more stuff here which is i dont think its ever going to happen for me which is like #it should be fine right...i dont think im even meant to be in a relationship it sounds exhausting and like another #constant neverending performance... #but its like that one post...''im happy by myself but also where's the love of my life'' #ykwim...i wish i could at least make an informed decision #but that would also be tragic as it'd require me to go thru more heartbreak so i could know for certain #is it better to do it or not do it at all... #anyway ive also been having a hard time putting this into words #but. i like my alone time! i can live with myself. + nothing will ever beat the peace and romance in my brain #but. it also feels so weird to think this way. in the sense of like. yeah. you're only thinking this way because you Have To. #because that's your reality. other ppl don't have to think this way because they are capable of finding love. #other people dont have to reaffirm themself of this in the wake of not ever being desired and valued.... #does that make sense...? it feels really weird. #like of course u have to like being alone and spending time with yourself. you have no other choice lol. you lost. #and also... idk. idealized romances in my brain better than anything maybe i would like to be held just once by another living human being. #🌺

[good-beansdraws]

His ass is not going to be forgiven!!!

#ill tag this on my other blog #exhausted nonbinary warden my beloved... #shimazaki would make the worst prisoner ever #hed be the guiltiest bastard but also the fandom would thirst over him #i havent put my finger on his murder yet #theres a reason i havent made any milgram ocs -- im really bad with coming up with balanced crimes asdfsdf #i cant go with his typical terrorism or trying to beat up a literal child... but his personality isnt suited to anything indirect #all i know is his video would look just like the s2 opening >:3 #very cool and colorful animation #spoons - vegetables - cacti type symbols #the dreamscape is very colorful but all his real memories are in complete darkness #a lot more sound effects than the current videos #that magenta is from his aura -- i think it works well for his color #im incredibly glad i havent seen any es x prisoner stuff but i can have a little warden x prisoner drama. as a treat >:3 #ill have to find a fun cover song for each of them but yeah :D

[hybridkilljoys]

I've been an absolute emotional wreck since last night due to my narcissist father making me feel less than human so can i..........ask for some reassurance that i'm not an absolute failure of a human being

or pictures of your cats, that would help a lot too

#its been months of dealing with his abuse and last night it left me feeling worse than ever and i am just #really exhausted and mentally broken rn #and i hate asking for reassurance because I always feel like a bother and I should just deal with shit myself until it passes #but when i say last night was bad it was bad and i feel like i am not even meant to be alive that is how that man made me feel #so i just wanna be selfish this one time #and ask for spare kindness because i could really use it right now because my feelings arent going away #no matter how hard im trying to distract myself today and i dont have the strenght to stay like this for a week or more #so yeah #gomen for rambling in the tags im just really #idfk embarrassed and ashamed i dont like asking for help i feel dumb even tho i know its not dumb but yeah #txt

[aqqleshiqqing-archive]

i hopped on call with my friends today and had a lot of fun hanging out with them 🥺 bee drew a fuckton of shit i have to share them....

kevin's here because milo and i expressed our hype in watching the next spooky month annual episode and ofc kevin my beloved was worth mentioning SHHDDGSHEJEZ i miss him so much I wanna go back to him <3

maroon belongs to bee and clear belongs to nero! they have such wonderful goofies <3

#while i was on call i realized i had a growing fever developing but being with you guys made me feel less dizzy 😭 #idk why im getting sick a lot lately kinda worried #but aside from that!! #guys look at bees drawings pls hes so talented i love it!!!! #im actuslly so happy man #yesterday was so exhausting but i got this all for free and im just akskdjjdjddjjss thank you!!!!!! #and you guys ofc are all so goofy ily #fucking explosing at the painted steven drawing RAAAGGGH HES SO HANDSOME #i caj finally see chonky red HSHSHAHDHAHS HES SO HANDSOME WIWIWIWIWIWIW #it was also really fun watching bee draw irl because i really adore her style #YEAH ANYWAYS!!! YOU GUYS MADE ME FEEL BETTER TODAY LOVE U #pokespe parents #~ lovely gifts #bee tag #nero tag #milo tag #<- still mentioning u just cuz <3 #♥️ memoryshipping #♥️ appleshipping #jaide (mangaverse).insert #jaide (gameverse).insert #ill go mention kevin too why not hehe #kevin.crsh

[deoidesign]

please take as much time as you need to rest and recover. burn out is so hard and takes so much to heal from. your art and your supporters will still be here when you get back :) take care <3

Thank you very much

Unfortunately, my situation doesn't really allow me to take the time I need. I've got a ~two month hiatus scheduled for my midseason, but much like my first hiatus I'll most likely be working double time during it...

It's unfortunate because I could really really use a bigger break!

Having the time and flexibility to work on other projects really fires me up and keeps me going, and being able to take a guilt free day off for family and friends is necessary to my mental health, and I've been having to turn people down lately...

This is a very kind message, and I'm sorry to vent in response! But I just feel transparency about the pressure I'm under is necessary and important. I'd love to take the time I really need, but due to deadlines and that pesky "needing money to live" I can't.

But, once the series is over I intend to take a pretty big break before I start whatever I'm doing next! I've got so many short stories and projects planned that I want so badly to get to, I can't wait to really get to truly dive in to them!

#im so sorry to take a nice message and respond like this! but just... trust me haha i know my supporters are genuinely here for me <3 #but webtoon... not so much unfortunately. i mean im sure i could take a longer break but theres the looming anxiety #that ill get in trouble or itll ruin my chances of working with them again etc etc #i took this week and i genuinely took it off. sort of? i flew to a convention which was exhausting #and i did paintings that i hope to print eventually #and i. started planning and prepping for a Kickstarter. for time and time again... #so ive still been working the whole time. but i love working! #i just... like to be able to work on things OTHER than time and time again... #and unfortunately for a few months. more than a few months. i haven't been able to do anything outside of it. #even all of my paintings have been for it cause i cant afford to switch my mindset! #my first hiatus i moved. worked on a pitch for my next series. and then i made two episodes a week the entire time #and i still ran out of episodes... #i dont know if im just not fast enough or if something is wrong with my brain that i have to fight to get it to focus but. #yeah i mean ive been burned out! been really burned out for like a year now #i can tell by how much better i feel after literally 1 week of doing anything else #and how tired i feel explaining this and knowing ive got another 3 months before i get another break #ok sorry i vented a lot more in the tags. it's hard to explain all of this eloquently and i like my posts to be somewhat professional #asks #anon #vent #delete later #and also how often my brain keeps wanting me to like. beg for 'nice words' from other people #(i always stop myself from asking people for compliments and stuff because otherwise i get very carried away and do it too regularly) #(people are very nice to me all the time. the kindness is endless and i need to let myself recognize and appreciate it rather than seek more #(its sort of a mental health thing I've been trying to like... force myself to do) #(for myself and my longevity but also for others sake lol. ive been bad about it in the past)

[angel-of-sweet-revenge]

When your friend needs you to be there to comfort them, but you have no energy for serious conversations and so you're stuck wondering if youre being a selfish asshole or if youre justified in not wanting to be the one to sort their problems out

#vent #its not like they didnt offer to hear my problems. but i just dont want to talk about. or anything #i dont want serious conversations. i dont want to have to worry about other people. i just cant. #im just so fucking exhausted and i dont know if its talking to them and feeling drained by the fact that theyre going through something- #-and that i need to be the therapist or if im just sick. again. #plus yesterday i slept late. my mum made me cry (i think she was just tired out by that point in the day so i doubt it was personal) #and just #im fucking tired ok #and I'm sorry im a bad friend #i just dont have energy. i want to have good energy around me to try give me some. #but when theyre upset it gets into me and drains me and I've been there as much as i can but i just cant right now. im too tired #i know im a shitty person but literally everyone got to be a shitty person at my expense so isnt it my fucking turn? #and then assuming i was acting like that to hurt them. I DO NOT WANT TO HURT ANYONE. IF WE HAVE A FIGHT I WANT TO MOVE ON. #I'm not gonna be caught up in it if we resolved it #but yeah. long story short they're going through shit and i feel like shit #and i think them going through shit is what makes me feel like shit. because i worry about them #and they can lash out on me #i just dont know anymore. i dont know if im an awful person or not #last year i broke up with a friend and my mum said I'll do the same with the next friend #it wasnt my fault #that friend ghosted me #im trying not to be her rn too and im scared that ive been in the wrong im scared im a shitty person too #but at the same time im too done to even really care #i just wanna stop fucking feeling all this and just get on with my day

[icewindandboringhorror]

I have found a beautiful perfect humble rock specimen that is light yellow with a weird dark yellowy brown lining, somewhat resembling a chunk of smoked gouda cheese... effervescent

#I am still very into trash collecting at the moment and even went out and got one of those grabby sticks for cheap and a little #bucket I can carry around and put trash in. so I am going on walks in nature a bit more (not really to enjoy nature but more to play the #very fun Real Life Hidden Object Point And Click Game that is 'hunt for bottle caps and cans' .. but eh.. whatever gets me out of the #house lol).. anyway.. some nature places near water will have cool rocks #Which I know you're not supposed to take them and I MOSTLY dont.. but every once in a while it's like... when else will I ever find a #gouda rock... I have cleaned up 4 buckets of trash today.. I have helped the environment.. mayhaps.. i could take a One Single Rocke as a #treate... ANYWAY. but yeah. I don't know the names of rocks but there's a rock that's a matte muted marigold yellow sort of #color and I call them 'cheese rock'. I'm pretty sure this one is of the 'cheese rock' species but it just has weird brown coloration #like maybe it got stained or something on one side of it. Most of the other cheese rocks have no markings. though sometimes there will be a #auburn reddish sort of hue on a corner or something.. hrmm.. curious. I also got a Beginner's Hobby rock tumbler and some supplies #so I might try polishing some of the rocks from my enormous rock collection. even though they're all street rocks I picked up from sidewalk #and stuff. I saw a video where someone put random gravel and stuff in a rock tumbler and none of them were Stunning Gems or whatver #but some still turned out cool enough that I would be pleased with the result... OUgh.. I want to post more I need to like do costumes and #sculptures and stuff and be Active On Social Media and think about my Future and Career and how it always benefits artists to keep an #active social media or etc. but I just feel so tired and bad lately. I think the summer heat waves have really exhausted me. I also have #been trying to make new friends + on a weird schedule so I've been socializing and also watching media too much. I notice I always start #to feel this kind of unsettled stress of not making any forward progress in my life if I do that for too long. like 'Okay this week I've #done nothing but meet up with two friends & watch like 10 episodes of tv and only worked on a few projects on the side.. this is HORRIBLE!' #(ppl who follow me here that I talk to on discord: this isn't about you! Im specifically just referencing being tired of introductory talks #with a new round of random strangers during my Friend Hunt. Just clarifying so it couldn't be misinterpreted as vaguepost implying that I'm #secretly bothered by talking to you or etc. lol.. anyway) . Which I know to MOST people 'I talked to a lot of friends and watched some cool #stuff!' sounds like a GOOD relaxing time but.. to me it is not ghhj.. Those are 'external' focuses on things outside myself which bothers #me if not moderated. Like.. i MUST retreat internally to work on my worldbuilding and my own thoughts and etc. at very regular intervals or #it will really start to bear on me too much. Brain Mandated Hermit Isolation lol. Just being too detached from my world and stuff for #too long feels increasingly bad. PLUS. every day I don't make tangible progress towards my goals is a day wasted that I could have been #investing in my future by working on novels/games/sculptures/actual career relevant stuff. Not even in a Capitalism way i just genuinely #enjoy Completing Tasks & feel miserable if I don't for too long. EVEN the media I'm watching I turn into A Task since I rank in a detailed #google doc list after viewing lol.. Like EW movie too boring on it's own. NEED to turn it into something I can categorize and analyze ghghj #LOVE to make things more complicated than they need to be. like YAAAY organizational tasks! yaay meticulous sorting!! BOO ''mindless fun''!

[hecksupremechips]

Minor thing that really irks me is when people treat the femc route in p3 portable as like the lesser story or like it’s a fanfic where nothing that happens in it is the “true” canon like. Bitch. The femc and everything that happens in her version of the story is just as canon as the male protagonist and everything that happens in his story. And there’s literally been so many fucking versions of p3 at this point like the base game, fes, portable, the movies, stage plays, reload, as well as spinoffs and manga and they all do things differently. I don’t see anyone acting like the base game is more canon than, say, reload so why do they do this with portable? Why can’t the (infinitely superior) version with the female protagonist just be respected for five fucking minutes goddamn

#persona #persona 3 #kotone shiomi #its the misogyny yay #but god i am so tired of her game being treated as not actually canon like it literally is #theres multiple canons dipshit there is no true version of this game #and also people saying she doesnt fit the theme or some shit like. she literally does??? and honestly she does it better #like you can really feel the love she brings to the group and how she gives everything life and helps everyone #but also just how it all comes with pain she smiles and befriends everyone but shes always been so deeply alone and she doesnt want anyone #to feel the pain shes felt and so she carries all those burdens on her own and when everyone goes to reach out for her #its too late far too late shed sacrifice herself over and over for these people and theyll never once see her cry #she also you know. actually has good social links and gets to know everyone not just people she wants fuck #so you get to see just infinitely better versions of every character with her she really does bring out the best in them #and another thing in particular with the disrespect of her story is the way shinji living is treated again just like #some kinda fanfic au by someone who didnt wanna cope with their blorbo dying like ughh #shinji surviving is just as canon as him dying there is an entire canon where he gets a happy ending and it is once again #much better than versions where he dies like ive. exhausted myself with explaining it but its just better #so yeah basically out of spite i like acting like kotones story is actually the one true canon #and when people mention stuff that isnt in her story im like ‘huh? what? that didnt happen’ #cuz whos gonna stop me

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#hello to anyone who happens to b interested in the saga of my life... also maybe the irl person i gave my url to... hopefully my blog #didnt freak her out too much lol. anyway so its been a busy week? 2 weeks? month? year? life? its been a lot. my parents helped me move #across the country from the desert to somewhere that's beautiful and green. my dad is so jealous of me lol its so so so pretty and theres s #so much to do. will i do any of it? that remains to be seen but im gonna try to be better about that sort of thing. try to get some help #with the thoughts in my head that keep me from doing and enjoying most things. its weird like im decorating my new room which i love. the #location and living situation seem ideal and i really hope i can stay here all 5 years of my program but i was picking a lot of bright #colors and now it feel uncomfortable. like if i wear things that r too bright or my room is too bright without dark contrast it feel weird #like if im wearing it it kinda makes me feel sick. idk what thats abt. anyway. ill try to heal my brain and im just so happy to b out of the #southwest. i was so so so excited when we were leaving thr city and even more so when we left the state. i cant believe im here. in December #it felt like a million years away and i really truely could not fathom how i was gonna survive that long. my thoughts were so distorted. but #i did and here i am. and in like a month i should b starting my phd program and my parents were telling me how excited ppl r for me and #jealous of where im living and im glad. im glad they're excited. i think i am too but its under a layer of: if i get excited it wont happen #im not allowed to b excited or it wont happen. which is irrational but ya kno. anyway so that's yeah. im so happy to have a fresh start and #the town seems super cool. a liberal blip in a sea of... not that so theyre very visibly pride forward haha and i think itll b way easier #for me to get around without driving. and im gonna try to make friends. i need someone to tell me where to get tattoos haha. so yea im happy #but exhausted and i dont wanna go back to work and so so greatful to my parents for being wonderful ppl idk how bc both of them had fucked #up childhoods. like my mum will say the saddest shit and im like bro this is y i don't wanna talk to my grandma fuck her and my dads parents #r so fucked. like my nana is the reason im so fucking control freaked out but i kno i have issues and she has no insight and thinks shes #better than everyone. anyway hopefully i can get back to drawing a posting more now. ive been drawing it its been in a sketch book #like an actual sketch book for sketching big ideas thst r gonna take fucking forever to draw 😭 #so that's all. just uprooted my whole life. thats all. but in a good way :-] #unrelated

[alinelie]

prev / next➛

The 12th of July was Kian's birthday.

Jayce and Kian's brother Ben threw him a surprise birthday party. While Kian doesn't care much for birthdays, he couldn't be more thankful for everyone who surrounds him.

He also spent time with Vic earlier in the day

Victor finds it difficult to hang out with Kian's friends since he feels slightly distanced from them. Even though he hadn't planned to attend the party, he managed to surprise Kian in a different way and spent time with him. The day before, he made Kian's favorite cupcakes, and that night he showed up at his house with gifts.

They waited until midnight to officially celebrate Kian’s birthday. Vic gave him the sweetest wishes and kisses after midnight, and he placed a candle in a cupcake for him to make a wish.

#ts4 simblr #my sims #the sims 4 #ts4 #simblr #oc: kian micelli #oc: victor adler #yeah. i’m late for his birthday #my birthday boy ;((((( #IM SORRY KIAN IM REALLY AM #BUT #Finally my head is starting to be free of anxiety thoughts now and I feel better #i also had a few days job so i was kinda busy #and extremely exhausted #AND i tried something different and I think it was good idea #a little background to pics CAUSE I SAID NOTHING ABOUT THEM

[ozymoron]

reading posts that come across my dash and sitting for a minute to debate with my mental disorder if not reblogging this will mean a hell portal will open beneath my feet and i will suffer for eternity for my lack of action or if its all good and i can just scroll on by (its usually the hell portal thing)

#⚠️ #personal #having ocd makes making moral decisions so fucking hard for no reason #cause ill see a post thats like info or seems important and like i can tell its that kind of post just by skimming it st first and somethin #clicks in my brain that just tells me if i dont share that post everyone will know and think im a horrible person #regardless of what the actual post is about #i need like a handbook on how to make proper moral decisions #cause like yeah i do care about things i try to share stuff about things i care about and believe are important but sometimes i dont have #the energy to read long as posts and my brain twists it to make it out that people will know and i am the bad guy #idk my ocds telling me even saying this makes me a bad person #the fact i even struggle with this #sometimes i think im not built for social media but really i think social medias not built for people like me #maybe i should get help for my ocd but the idea of describing all the shit going on in my brain to someone just makes me feel scared #cause like i dont know when to draw the line at making something a problem i should actively have a hand in helping #how much is too much when do i stop #<- in regards to my own mental health like the mental exhaustion that can come from it i hope this makes sense #like some things you gotta invest like emotional shit into and like sometimes im just tired and i come on here and im faced with one of #those posts and i just have to debate with myself what the fuck im supposed to do #this is more a me issue than anything i need to sort this shit out with some mental health professional or something #cause like i dont want to have people think i dont care about these things i do and ik pressing reblog takes like no energy but idk man #im not even sure if some of the shit i reblog is cause i care or is just an ocd compulsion #i feel like most times its both #i cant help but think im the problem here i want to be on social media its just so draining having my mind repeatedly hound me for not like #showing enough care (reblogging more posts) about a certain issue online #idk im so tired of it all im so tired of my mind i wish i didnt have ocd #vent #so funny right after i posted this i scrolled down and one of these posts was rigjt beneath it and the debate happens all over again #lord i need to get out of here

[i-may-be-an-emu]

dysphoira sucks.

it feels like someone is holding you under the surface of water and you can't breathe but you can see the air just so out of reach and sometimes you catch a breath or two but you are always going to be trying to gasp for air, trying to stay afloat. Trying so desperately to survive that you don't think about anything else.

#This is just my own experience but yeah #It really does feel like this #And sometimes I can not think about it #But I'm still *thinking* about it #in the back of my mind #always wondering what people perceive me as #always wondering if I look and sound and act masculine enough #Idk #It's just exhausting #vent i guess #vent? ish? #trans #dysphoria tw #tw dysphoria #I wish I could just look in the mirror and see a man #like fully a man #I will one day #Im fine but this is just me expressing how sucky gender dysphoria is #I am ok #But it just sucks

[oifaaa]

Hey, so I could get in so much trouble for this, because the guy who told me this BROKE AN NDA on accident, but I was at a conference today on comic writing, and one of our speakers is a major Damian Wayne writer, and he informed us that HE WAS CALLED IN TO CONSULT ON THE NEW SUPERMAN MOVIE BECAUSE DAMIAN IS ABOUT TO BE CAST FOR THAT MOVIE

I swear to fucking god that this is true, the only reason I'm not posting it myself if because I have no followers and no one would see. The staff at the conference actually had to go around and confiscated our phones to delete the video footage of his talk to try and stop this from leaking.

Please spread the word! I know this sound like spam or a lie, but its real!!!!

God I know I'm gonna sound really rude rn which I really am sorry about i don't mean anything mean about it I just man is this not really interesting to me I've not been keeping up with casting at all for the new superman or the new dcu bc like I just can't bring myself to care and we already knew damian was gonna be the robin in these movies which not hyped about (who's ready to see talia get bastardised on the big screen with a white damian) but also yeah we know damian was coming so obvious they'd be casting him

#ask #anon #im sorry anon this is nothing against you #its just my complete lack of confidence in these movies #also with the strikes going on rn its not like a lot is going to actually happen in the next few months #(which btw really funny seeing how many people dont seem to know what strikes are or how they work) #but yeah #i know its meant to be a #damians appearing in the new superman movie get excited #but it turns out that news just makes me exhausted to hear #hm weird #happy you can get excited anon #or anyone else with this news #im gonna be a little grump in the corner #(i wasnt gonna reply to this but that felt meaner to anon considering they asked me to spread the news so compromising) #(ill spread the news but not be happy about it)

[the-kipsabian]

am eepy

am going to sleep

im also going to be offline for the most part the next two days. funerals and shit idk. would appreciate any kind of hugs and good vibes and whatnot while i try to pull through this (and then repeat it again next week. yay pain)

#i'll see you. idk saturday night or sunday morning. whenever im alive enough to catch up with wrestling cause it'll keep me sane #i also know spoilers for rampage so. feel free to yell at me about that too since im not watching it before much later #but yeah. im going to bed. yes its only 8pm but im exhausted and nobody can stop me #i'll see you when i see you #night is an absolute mess on main #gonna also pause the que while im away so this doesnt get drowned in my blog yay #tho i doubt ppl will really see it after its gone from the dash but. in case someone wonders. especially since i wont yell at rampage