#car chick soul sisters

[mllenugget]

Hello I mcyt fandom-ified la Team du Lundi members and wrote a shit ton of text about it

After exhausting myself on trying to catch up on the current QSMP lore I got a sudden craving for a more familiar and fast paced kind of minecraft content and ended up rewatching all the Team du Lundi's SMP best of's I could find

And while doing so with my brain still hazed in fandom brainrot, I started picking up on minor details or info the players casually dropped, and drew parallels to the French speakers' QSMP counterparts This is going to be a long wordy post I don't even know what I am rambling about and for. Three things you need to be aware of about la Team du Lundi before reading :

Baghera, Antoine and Etoiles are the only QSMP players that are part of la Team du Lundi

As far as I remember the only two elements that suggest that la Team du Lundi's SMP could be canon to QSMP are Antoine being pressured into building another Tower of Shit, and Baghera's infamous fountain being mentioned when she was asked if her character remembers anything from her past before the island

La Team du Lundi's SMP was NOT a roleplaying server, it was just a private survival server for a small circle of friends casually playing together. So whenever I quote someone in this specific post, it is the streamer : there is no character other than the persona the streamer is usually showing on stream, but I just thought it would be fun to interpret certain situations while keeping in mind the QSMP lore. And here goes :

Baghera claims that when she was a kid she strongly believed that she could breathe underwater. The others joke about her having fins

Antoine jokingly tells Baghera he doesn’t need oxygen at all

Antoine claims he will still be alive thousands of years forwards

Antoine’s voice shifts when he wants to appear creepy

Baghera built an aquarium at her place, then helped Antoine build one at his tower, then built a giant swimming pool, then a fountain, then a waterslide- do you see a theme ?

Baghera knows that her skin is actually that of a chick and not a duckling, and calls it so here

Chat said that Baghera has a middle child syndrome, justifying that she bullies Angle Droit because Etoiles bullies her in the first place (Etoiles has also called her « little sister » in a derogatory way)

Etoiles has repeatedly asked people to play Valorant with him at least once

Here's a clip of Etoiles getting languaged in french and owing "a gifted sub in the swear jar"

Unrelated random clip of Etoiles because it creates happy hormones in me brain

Etoiles is regularly refered to as "the warrior"

Etoiles guided the whole group during an expedition to the End and he was literally glowing doing so (enchanted arrows effect) Everyone called him "the guide"

Baghera was the one who gave the final blow to the Enderdragon (and died from magic right after)

Etoiles spent most of his time adventuring in order to bring stuff and gear back to everyone for their builds

Etoiles asked Aypierre for help in order to design a redstone door for his cave which could only open upon solving a puzzle (which was egg & arrow related) (Aypierre was not a member of the server)

Etoiles built a nightclub with the walls and ceiling covered in wardenblocks making it look like a starry sky. He also rehomed Allays holding golden apples inside claiming them to be the souls working for him and that they lived there peacefuly

Etoiles jokingly talks about Antoine acting jealous and violent towards him because Etoiles told him he wanted to go and visit Kameto (who also was not a member of the server)

Baghera (along with Horty) had a rivalry with Joueur du Grenier (host of the server with admin powers) after he decided to build a massive parking lot right next to their house. They countered by covering the whole thing with dirt, followed by JDG building a factory and the two parties went back and forth. Baghera argued that it was stupid because they didnt even have cars to begin with (which is a sentence she reused when talking about Forever's roads) Also she tells JDG that he could've built a seaport instead, which makes JDG contemplate the thought of building an airport (and though he ended up never building it, I am side eyeing the French's plane crash)

At some point JDG wonders about what a roleplaying minecraft server would look like (RPZ 2), to which Baghera replies that she has a hard time picturing the thing "We'd all just build things you see ? I don't think we'd create stories, we would all just be like "I'm a builder, ah you too ? Well awesome, builders, cool"" and I find this to be hilariously ironic (fun fact : Baghera had no idea that QSMP was a roleplaying server when she first joined and often claims she would've taken a different approach with her character had she known right off the gate)

As I was finishing to write this down, these fuckers (/lh) decided to host a closure night for the server as they've never really officially did it, everyone just sort of deserted the server after a while. Baghera, Etoiles and Antoine kept referring to QSMP throughout the night, mostly talking about how weird it felt without mods. Among other meta commentary things

They mentionned Cellbit and Bad multiple times as the group was trying to solve enigmas. Antoine talked about "the cultural sharing" between communities as he taught insults to each others with Mike, Roier and Maximus in their respective languages Multiple more players were namedropped (including eggs) while Antoine was talking about how the server functions

Yes, Baghera and Etoiles kept their QSMP skins. Etoiles with his code corrupted purgatory one, and Baghera with her fading pink disheveled hair (with the addition of her cubito wearing Horty's merch)

Baghera admits that going back to this small familiar vanilla server feels like coming back home to your family during the holidays

Team du Lundi's cameos in QSMP :

Though Pomme has never canonically met JDG (even though most of her parents have talked about him to her at least once), she occasionaly breaks the 4th wall to refer to him. She once compared one of BBH's "vacation" flower shirts with his, and when Foolish and Bad asked her to elaborate (obviously not getting the reference) she proceeded to play JDG's music theme with the flute instead (Also I really feel the need to once more point out how mindblowing it is for your average french speaking viewer to have JDG's intro theme being added to the mod they use in the QSMP because of how anchored it is within french internet pop culture. Like this shit has been existing for 14 fucking years, it's part of the childhood of a lot of us, so to find a clip of British hardcore player Philza peacefuly listening to Mexican egg admin Tallulah play this theme on her flute feels like a multiverse fever dream)

Horty has been on Quesadilla Island through cc!Baghera's account, but neither of them really wanted to justify it RP wise. Baghera just wanted to give her best friend a tour of the island. Horty only got to meet Richarlyson who gave her a tour of Cellbit's castle and made her pick a room (she chose Chaos). She also chatted with Etoiles who tagged along for a bit and (this is obviously justified by it being a one-shot out of roleplay filler episode kind of night) they both already knew each other and were on friendly enough terms to bicker with one another Also she was part of the French speakers Quackity reached out to to invite on the server, but she had to decline because she was very busy at that time (and also not interested) Also also she was Baghera's teammate for that Formula 4 event, and Baghera has discussed it and showed pictures to a couple of islanders, including Richas who was very hyped about it

Another player the viewers were hoping to see on Quackity's server is Mynthos. He exists within the server with the picture of him that hangs in Pomme's art gallery, the cursed animation video that used to play in La France, as well as with Aypierre's health potion factory that bears his name

Angle Droit and Zerator are sometimes namedropped when the French speakers talk with their chat. Angle Droit frequently raids Baghera's and Antoine's streams, and though it has never been confirmed, a lot of viewers theorized that she was the +1 player Baghera and Etoiles wanted to invite on the server had they won the elections.

As for Zera, Etoiles went AFK on QSMP a couple of times in order to test some of Zerator's TrackMania maps (which he later discussed with Pac). I also remember a very trivial conversation Etoiles had with Mouse and Aypierre where he laughed about hurting his back very badly after carrying a fellow streamer during a caritative event, said event was hosted by Zerator (he's also the one judging them with concern from his desk)

I'm done.

Bonus alternative design for Angle Droit because at first I thought she was a fox then it turned out she was a corgi but then she changed it again to a fox and woop

#I wrote down a whole other post just as long as this one to explain my individual thought process behind each designs #Took me weeks to write- had a couple of clips to back up my headcanons #but then I was reading the post again checking for mistakes before realizing #yo just #that is so many words and for what #just let your designs speak for themselves hey trust yourself let there be room for interpretation #if people turn out to be curious well i guess thats what ask box was created for leave it be thats enough #(not) fun fact : I drew those Baghera Etoiles & Antoine designs back in june and the files got corrupted and I lost a week worth of work #if we are mutuals on discord youve mightve heard me whine about this one #mcyt #team du lundi #qsmp #angle droit #hortyunderscore #baghera jones #zerator #etoiles #mynthos #joueur du grenier #antoine daniel #serveur du lundi #my art

[the-90s-music-colosseum]

Round 2 Group C Match 2

ATTENTION VOTERS WE ARE TRYING TO ACHIEVE A TIE ON THIS POLL. MARGIN OF 0.2% OR SMALLER WILL MEAN JONNY AND MIKE MOVE ON TO THE NEXT ROUND TOGETHER.

expand for propaganda ↓ (major wall of text warning + videos. very.)

Jonny Greenwood:

"Every art girl's (and boy's) wet dream"

"He wrote the tourist. That's all you need."

"Repeat from my Thom propaganda but he was a part of it so anyways. I had a dream once where I met him and Thom on the street and asked them to sign my Pablo Honey CD, so Thom pushed me into open traffic and I got hit by a car and died and Jonny laughed his ass off. 10/10, my last sight before death was his beautiful face laughing."

"I could probably snap him like a twig but I want to marry him and have 3 children with him before I do that"

"Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose 1/5 of Radiohead. Choose 1/5 of In Rainbows. Choose the man who wrote weird fishes, both Greenwood sisters ,the man in South Park, his telecaster and the stickers on it. Choose the bug Jacqueline Kennedy, his love for literature and poetry, and his lovely lisp. Choose his sublime score for Phantom Thread and his husband Paul Thomas Anderson. Choose the weird amount of straight men who thirst over him in the YouTube comment section. Choose his jawbone. Choose the most pretentious, unpretentious member of the band. Choose his silky hair and his (probably) Dove shampoo. Choose his great knowledge of music theory and how he often disregards it. Choose Astroboy's biggest fanboy (minus maybe Thom. Choose a very hot Alex James who eloped with a fish. Choose Jonny Greenwood. Choose your future. Choose life… Involuntary Trainspotting reference but please vote Jonny over Wario. Oh, and( even though Jonny lives in Italy at the moment), I live in Oxford and if I meet him, I'll tell him that he won."

"He keeps chickens guys, CHICKENS"

"I'm a straight guy but no joke Jonny is hot tbh maybe it's cuz he looks like a chick but like damnnnn"

"He's so gorgeous....kinda like an ant 😍😍😍😍"

Mike Patton:

"Mike didn't consistently wear BDSM masks matched with boiler suits and lick Trevor Dunn on stage just to lose this bracket. Also, if you don't think he's hot in every which way, you clearly haven't seen this: https://youtu.be/gjEbHBafvm0 or this: https://youtu.be/i9_hCjcFNO0 or this: https://youtu.be/Kfq7wHJu21c"

"Mike Patton collaborated with basically everyone who's anyone in music, and he speaks Italian too. He's great in a live show. And Mr. Bungle is unmatched and unparalleled, full stop."

"HEE HEE HOO HOO HA HA FUNNY WHITE MAN SCREAMS IN MY EAR AND BUSTS IT DOWN SEXUAL STYLE"

"I'm a lesbian but I find him insanely attractive which I think says a lot"

"whenever mike arches his back and screams a part of my soul leaves my body and is shattered by the soundwaves."

"all you need to do to love mike is watch this: https://youtu.be/0gq_Jn41iMM&t=1375 the fact that he blurts that out and then super casually goes into the song leaves me crying with rage and hormones every time I see it"

#most attractive 90s musician #poll #polls #90s music #tournament #jonny greenwood #radiohead #mike patton #mr bungle #faith no more

[scary-lasagna]

hello, I don’t really understand your request situation right now so if I’m sending this at the wrong time I’m sorry.

But, I just read your post about Slender’s dark secrets, and I really liked it! So I was wondering if you could talk more about them.

Have a good day!!

I decided to dive into the bit about the...things Slender has done to the earlier residents.

Friends

"Why the Hell would he do that? That's a fucking strong assumption to make, Jeff." An offended tone slapped the walls of the Rec Room, unusually empty besides a proxy and a infamous killer.

Jeff and Toby have never really clicked well. Something about Toby has always managed to rub Jeff the wrong way: his walk, his love of talking too loud, his abrupt tics, and his unkept hair, for a few examples.

Jeff just didn't want anything to do with him. But that didn't mean that he hated the poor bastard. Even so, they had more in common than they thought. Not that Toby knew that.

"I'm just saying, it all makes sense, right?" Jeff faced his palms up with a casual shrug from the beanbag chair, "He killed her. And I'm not just saying that to piss you off or anything. I mean look at what he did to Kate. She's terrified of him."

Althought Toby wasn't entirely close to Kate, it was obvious how much she avoided pissing Slender off, and always happened to be missing whenever things got tense around the manor. Her burns...had he also been the cause of them?

"Just because he may or may not have done something to KAte doesn't mean that he's an evil creature. Why would he kill a random chick in Michigan? Slender wouldn't do something like that-" Toby refused to believe it, not after Slender had took them all into open arms.

Jeff pinched the bridge of his nose before dragging his palm down his face. He crossed his arms as he stared up at the proxy. "Toby, who the fuck do you think cut the breaks in Lyra's car? Who drove Tim's friend to insanity? Jack's culty origin? Fuck, even Jane. She didn't have a violent bone in her body until my incident. I mean, think about it, doesn't it all just lead back to him?"

"It doesn't matter!" Toby didn't flinch at the mention of his sister, but then again he didn't have anything backing up his claim. It made him angry. He knew he was right.

"Then ask him, Toby." Jeff nonchalantly scratched his neck, "And you'll come back not remembering a damn thing like last time." He rolled his eyes toward the brunette. "And the time before that, too."

"You're fucking with me."

"'Fraid not." Jeff tsked and wrestled himself out of the beanbag chair. "Start leaving notes for yourself, Tobs'. That's how I figured everything out."

___

"I'm not quite sure I am comphrehending your accusation, Toby. Do you believe I had something to do with Lyra's passing?" The Tall Man sat at his great oak desk, his spindly fingers clasped together on his desk mat.

"I-It's just sketchy. I mean, my memory is spotty, yeah, but right after I caught The Sickness, she died." Toby adjusted his seat on the leather office chair, scooting to the edge. His leg bounced. His nails were wearing thin from the abuse of nervousness.

"Toby, why on Earth would I do something like that? In no offense, it would be pointless to me to harvest such a small soul. From my recollection, Lyra did not have any great power that would have ade her a sustainable feeding victim." Slender suddenly furrowed his brow line, his head tilting ever so slightly, "You should know this Toby. Are you feeling alright?"

"I've been a little under the weather, I guess. I'm sorry for pointing fingers, everything has just been so confusing lately. I'm loosing track of time, and I can't remember what I did yesterday." Toby ran his hands through his slightly gready hair, and took great effort in slouching into the leather.

"Perhaps it's time for a mental health day. I'll adjust your schedule to fill in Kate for your shift in the next three days." Slender opened one of the larger cabniets in his desk, pulling out one of the many vintage tabloids he used to schedule his proxies. "And if we see no improvement, then we can adjust or change your medicine if needed."

As Slender set the tabloid down, Toby noticed a familiar face peeking out from under one of the many loose papers among the mess of a busy desk.

"Why do you have Brian's folder open?"

Slender paused, craning his head to eye the headshot picture. "I'm simply refreshing my memory of his medical history. No need to wear your heart of your sleeve, Toby." Slender quickly dismissed, waving Toby's concerns away. He seemed a bit more hasty to modify the schedule.

Toby's voice dropped into a gravely tone.

"Are you sure?"

Slender slowly lifted his head to look at Toby, who seemed to be fixed on a leaflet.

Kate. More specififcally, Kate's fresh burns from so many years ago, all photographed and on display. The nights of restless sleep must have finally caught up to Slender, and forgot to tuck them away before allowing Toby to burst in.

"Did Brian do that to Kate?"

"I will now be asking you to leave, Toby, this is a breach of confidential information on Kate's behalf. I'll adjust your schedule. Have a lovely vacation." And even though the words seems so considerate, Slender stood at full height, a tendril slithering around the front of the desk to tuck any pictures under loose papers. "Leave."

Maybe Jeff was right.

Toby stood quickly, and pivoted on he heels to walk out of the room. But something stopped him. An unforeseen force keeping his body in place.

"Absterge rasa, a medietate prius. Mote fiat."

Toby turned, his brows furrowed in confusion. "Y'know, your German sometimes sounds really weird!" He laughed, "Anyway, I gotta drop that paper off to Jeff, you said he's in the Rec Room, right?"

#LOVED writing this #very cool #ticci toby #jeff the killer #slender #slender is a bad guy #creepypasta #creepypasta headcanon #creepypasta imagines #creepypasta blog #toby rogers #toby #jeff

[kiss-me-muchoo]

𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐦 (𝐄𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐞 𝐌𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫)

This is about to be a mini series, updates here MASTERLIST

Synopsis: Instead of Max, you are Vecna’s last sacrifice.

Warnings: gore, body dysmorphia (all of us are some hot and pretty chicks), blood, death. Friends to best friends to lovers? It is implied reader knows Spanish?, reader is hot but she tends to not believe it, oh yeah, THIS IS CRINGE.

As usually, NO PROOFREAD, sorry not sorry if some parts don’t make sense;)

A/N: When I look at Eddie, I think on Gustavo Cerati, don’t know why. I picked De Música Ligera because i thought it was a good fit to run away from Vecna. The song is on my Eddie’s playlist. (Part two might be how Eddie and reader meet when she came back to Hawkins, how she is best friend of Nancy and basically Steve’s sister.)

It was fascinating how quickly things could change; how quickly hope could die and promises to be broken.

“I don’t want to be a widow when we haven’t even dated, Eddie” the boy laughed hardly, some blood spilling from his mouth. Dustin's eyes were extremely glossy and your tears were unstoppable at that point.

“I’m sorry, hot stuff” this time, you laughed at the nickname, blushing. “I’m so sorry…”

“It’s always been you, since that fucking day I saw you getting out of your car, listening to that stupid song of Connie Francis” you both laughed at the memory, the first day of your senior year, just eight months ago. “I knew you were gonna be my girl…”

“Let’s go to the hospital, you’re already a hero. You’re my hero, baby” you begged to cry and took his hand. “Please…”

“It’s okay… no matter where am I, I’ll always take care of you, always. Love of my life…”

His eyes lost that spark, and you knew he was gone, leaving you completely terrified. “No…God, no!” you screamed hugging him, not wanting to accept the fact that he was gone.

“I’m sorry…” Dustin told you, and you throw yourself at him to give him a tight hug.

“He’s gone, Dustin” A chill caught your attention. Turning to the woods, where you saw the wind moving, you knew something was off. Trying to reach for your friend, you screamed when you found two skeletons looking at you; as if Eddie and Dustin were those piles of bones. And after a second, the skeletons turned into ashes, some of them, crashing over your faces, mixing with your tears.

“It’s time…” you knew that voice, it had to be him, Vecna. You were the fourth sacrifice.

Shutting your eyes, you tried to calm down. This wasn’t real… Eddie was gone, yeah. But Dustin not, you must be in the Upside Down yet, and you hope for Dustin to get you out of your trance, then you remembered Max, you didn’t get it, but still, you feared, because she must be living the same thing you are, but from the Creel house, or maybe it is only you. But…

“All your friends have lost. Even Eleven, no one will save you…” opening your eyes, you found Vecna in front of you. He was scarier than you imagined. He was tall, his skin looked sticky and disgusting. His unmistakable eyes, staring directly at your soul.

The first thing you do is run. Inside Eddie’s place, it looks the same, but once you enter his room, it doesn’t look like it, instead, it’s your room. Your posters, the fuchsia curtains with some glitter on them, your orange vanity, with all your perfumes. And then, you turn to your mirror slowly, screaming in horror after seeing your reflection.

Your shirt looks like a crop top, and your stomach… your skin is gone, you can see all of your insides. Blood is spilling, organs and guts start to fall, and you keep screaming before you look at some scissors on the floor. You know what’s happening, it’s your worst memory, when you were sixteen and you attempted to hurt yourself because you didn’t love anything about yourself. It felt real, the pain, the feeling of your organs falling to the floor, making you bend and scream at the horrific scene.

The pain of being different from all the girls in your school, wanting to feel like you belonged. The tears you let go because of the words of a stupid boy, the pressure because you had to buy bigger clothes. The horror in your parent's faces when they found you and took you to the hospital, then the therapy and doctor appointments. None of that was important, now you knew that no matter what size and shape you were, you were beautiful, you didn’t have to fit everywhere.

Anyways, that didn’t stop you from being traumatized by the gore and negative feelings from the memory.

You start hearing your parents screaming, begging for you to open the door.

“You caused all of this just because you wanted to reach physical perfection. This demonstrates how weak you are…” Vecna is walking towards you, while you catch a glimpse of everything around you; your room is empty, in dead colors. He took your most personal and darkest memory to kill you.

Vecna traps you in one of the walls and points at your face with his hand. Tears fall from your eyes, maybe you’re ready, if Eddie couldn’t promise you a future together, your friends lost, everything was lost. You know what’s gonna happen…

You’re about to die.

…

But in reality…

Not even the wounds on Eddie’s stomach, chest, and neck could compare to the fear he felt when Dustin screamed at him.

“Eddie!, Vecna’s got her!. Pumpkin is being possessed!”

Eddie wondered if the leader of the Upside Down had possessed Max too. But he knew he couldn’t let you die, he felt stupid because he tried to be a hero by going outside of his place to distract the bats. So he quickly throw his shield, then all the bats went at it. He ran as fast as he could back to his friend.

“What happened?…” he screamed at Dustin, getting inside.

“I don’t know!. I thought it was going to go after Max! But she’s in trance. We have to hurry up before she starts levitating…” the kid said. And Eddie could only nod, he knew what would happen to you after if they didn’t hurry.

After climbing back to their normal side of Hawkins, they knew the bats wouldn’t go straight to them, but thankfully, Eddie closed the last gate that could be open, giving them more time.

“Dustin, Where is she?” you were nowhere to be found inside Eddie’s place, and he was feeling anxious. “DUSTIN, WHERE IS SHE?”

After some seconds, and looking through the window, they saw your silhouette. “Let’s go…”

“Wait, We need her favorite song!” Dustin asked desperately. Eddie rolled his eyes, that was the only way to save you. “Fuck!” the older boy yelled at nothing.

Eddie ran to his room, looking for the bag you left the day you found him with Chrissy. Eddie hated himself for that day, everything could have been different, he would have waited for you, taken you to his place, and had a fun night. But he took Chrissy, you thought the worst after seeing them together and you left confessing your feelings for him and crying. That night could have changed all, he wouldn’t be wanted for any murder.

“We’ll move to the beach and get married…” he mumbled kissing the mini-cassette player you carried in your bag. He would fulfill that promise he made to you just three hours ago.

“Is that in Spanish?…” Dustin asked looking at the cassette, reading Originales - 20 Éxitos from Soda Stereo.

“Yes Dustin, she speaks Spanish. Remember?” after throwing a sarcastic question to the younger boy, they ran to you, outside of Eddie’s place. That’s when he finally looked at you. Your eyes are empty, but moving, as if you were blind.

“Hey!, Pumpkin!. You have to wake up” Eddie felt paralyzed, it was like seeing Chrissy being possessed once again, but this time was ten times worst, it was in the middle of the street, in the darkness, and it was you who was being possessed.

“She’s not gonna react, Eddie. Just put the goddamn headphones!” Dustin yelled.

You, the only girl that had ever paid attention to him, who was his best friend, and yet, you were just the opposite of him. That’s why he loved you, since the damn day you met him, he was already yours.

“Guys!, We need help!” Eddie heard Dustin screaming. When he turned to see; Robin, Nancy, and Steve were lurking from his trailer. Steve ran faster when he saw you in trance.

“Whoa, whoa. What happened?, I thought Vecna was going after Max!” Eddie sighed, he knew Steve was like your brother, and he also knew Nancy was your best friend. So he found more difficult the situation with everyone looking at him. Steve knew this was possible, you told him that you were in danger, he felt awful when he saw you.

“Do you have some music?” Robin asked when she got where you were, with Nancy covering her mouth at the sight. Eddie, showed her the Soda Stereo cassette.

“Guys!…” Dustin called them, and everyone turned around to see you starting to shake a little. Eddie couldn’t care less about his wounds at that moment, he even forgot about it. He got close to you, trying to press the play button of the player, feeling his hands trembling.

“Shit!, shit…” he ran and placed the headphones in your ears before playing the song. “I got you, babe”

Some seconds after that, you started to levitate. Your friends looking at you with panic. And it only got worse, because your shirt was getting soaked by a big dark red stain, it was blood.

“That didn’t happen with Max” Nancy stated, showing how worried she was. Eddie was on the verge of screaming when you reached a very high height, he never prayed, but he felt like he was collapsing, hoping to see you fall to the ground, instead of watching your eyes popped and your bones crack.

You would survive. But he knew your trauma, he knew very well what thing was using Vecna against you. And he hoped you remembered the day he told you nobody could ever make you feel that way, because that day he low key showed you that you were already perfect. He was hiding his feelings for you but he told you the truth, you were amazing.

…

While in your heard…

You started to hear music. De Música Ligera started, and you smiled. It was the first song Eddie praised from you when he understood the lyrics, back in November. A day in his trailer, helping him with his club campaigns.

Your room was bright again, the white Christmas lights were shining, and all you could remember was your sleepovers with Eddie. When he would let you paint his nails, and he criticized a lot your music taste, but at the end, he was humming some songs, then he would try to brush your hair, and you laughed so hard at some bad joke he said.

Then, you’re remembering Steve, all the times you got to have dinner with him, when he used to drive you home, when you stayed at his house to show him how to cook. Then Nancy, all those girly nights singing while trying new clothes and crushing over some new actor, then going to the mall, doing your makeup together. Then with all the boys, having the hardest time stopping laughing while you were at some Hellfire Club meetings, going to Robin and Steve’s workplace to mess up with them, reading comics with Max while you exchanged new music you discovered.

And lastly, a couple of hours ago, Eddie confessed he loved you since you met, he kissed you in the sunset while getting ready to complete Max’s plan. You promised him that when everything was over, you would get him a fake high school diploma, you would leave Hawkins, move to California with your parents, and get married on the beach.

You were crying happy tears; you were loved by your friends, you were a normal girl, you had so much things to live yet, you had to fight. So when you opened your eyes, you saw a girl, pointing to Vecna, that was definitely Eleven, she saved you, a couple of seconds late, your eyes would’ve have popped out and your bones would have broken. She gave you a small smile, that you corresponded, you hoped you could survive to thank her in person. You wanted to hug her after everything that happened, she didn’t had a good time after the events of 1985.

Vecna let you go at the sudden intrusion, so you fell onto the ground of his devilish garden, where more corpses rested, but you didn’t appreciate it for so long, cause you opened your eyes again.

…

Eddie and Steve were the first to catch you when you hit the ground, you gasped for air while crying and screaming. Nancy, Robin, and Dustin formed a little circle around you, looking if you were alright.

“Hey, hey. It’s fine… you’re okay” Steve said, trying to calm you down. You were seeking more air, and you almost choked when you noticed Eddie holding you against his chest and on the verge of tears.

“You’re alive… I said goodbye to you.” Eddie pulled you closer to his chest.

“I’m right here, baby. Not going anywhere…” tremors invaded you, it was cold, something was wrong. Steve took your hands and you smiled at him.

“Hey, we’re gonna take you to the hospital. Hang on, sis…” that’s when it hit you, your stomach was covered in blood, and it hurt so much, you were scared to lift the shirt and see the actual damage, but you knew it was not okay.

“I can’t move…” you stated sobbing harder. Everything was feeling heavy. Even speaking was hard. “I think I’m gonna faint…”

“Nance, go and turn on the truck. Hurry up!” Steve indicated and then he told Eddie to help him carry you. Dustin also helped them and in some minutes, you were resting on one of the large couches.

Everything was turning blurrier than ever, voices sounded distant. And even though you said before maybe you were ready to die you were not.

“Eddie…” he took your hand while Steve started to press the gas, reaching the highway. “I’m not ready to go…, I don’t wanna die”

“You’re not dying” Vecna lost, but this was more stressful than anything for the guys. Eddie passed a hand over his face, sighing loudly.

“If I go… I just want you to know that I love you so much. I’m proud of you, you’re my hero, baby” then, you turned to see Dustin, Robin, and Nancy with difficulty. “I love you too guys, I’m so happy that I had you as my friends.”

“Don’t say that, you’re losing too much blood. That’s it…” Nancy said, she was crying, you didn’t see her crying easily, you knew it was being hard for her.

“Hey, hey!. Babe, stay awake!” Eddie screamed at you. The voices sounded very far, and after seeing everything blurrier, you were seeing colors, like a big aura moving, and then… darkness.

…

The next time you opened your eyes, you were in the Wheeler house. It was the guest room. Robin, Nancy, Steve, and Eddie were there, all of them asleep. Some cables were connected to you, then, you noticed your chest and stomach were bandaged in gauze and surgical cloth. And it was hurting everything when you breathed, like if you had made an hour of plank workouts.

“Guys…” you called them. Nancy was the only one who completely woke up, smiling at you. She checked your temperature, then kissed your forehead. “I told you, you were just losing blood”

“Is everyone okay? Why are we here?” you asked, your voice was cracked and even though Robin tried to wash your makeup, some glitters and mascara waste were around your eyes.

“Most of Hawkins is destroyed, after you passed, this big earthquake hit the town. Hospitals are at full capacity. Everyone’s fine…, we couldn’t risk Eddie with the cops, so mom called a personal nurse and she checked on everyone.”

You nodded, relaxing a little. “Thanks, Nance”

“It’s okay, we’ll talk later. Common guys, she’s awake!” the rest of your friends woke up, and after checking on you, they noticed you had to talk with Eddie after a couple of seconds of silence.

“Okay, let’s go get the nurse!” Nancy called. “No, wait, but…” before Robin could finish the sentence, Nancy had pushed Steve and the girl outside, closing the door. You giggled at the sight.

“Hi…” you said, looking at Eddie, he looked clean, and looking at you like a lost puppy.

“Oh, don’t get me with hi, Pumpkin. I thought I was losing you” the smile on your face grew.

“Vecna made look at you dying, I thought that when I opened my eyes again, you were really gonna be gone. So yeah, I know how you’re feeling…” Eddie covered his mouth, stopping himself from crying.

“I love you, it’s scary how head over heels I am for you” tangling your fingers on his hair, he kisses you.

“Ugh, don’t kiss me. I must look horrible” Eddie laughed a little, stroking your cheek.

“You look like we went to some hard metal concert and then I fucked the shit out of you, baby. I told you, you’re hot as fuck” it was impossible to avoid blushing at his words, you giggle remembering the erotic moment you two shared two days ago in the RV. You find it so hard to move, Eddie noticed it, so he stopped laughing and simply smiled at you, helping you to find a comfortable position. “We’re dating now?”

“I don’t know. Did you mean it when you said you wanted to marry me on the beach?” he nodded proudly.

“Hell yeah. I’m yours, baby…” you’re tired but happier than ever. Finally, you are going to change your life, you can do anything with the boy

“Then yeah, we’re dating, big boy,” you said before the nurse came and checked on you. Eddie let out a relived sigh, and peppered your face with a lot of kisses.

…

There was nobody on the road, you could accelerate, that’s what you did while Two of Hearts from Stacy Q played loudly in the car.

“That song is awful,” Eddie said rolling his eyes, you snatched his hand from the stereo when he tried to change the song.

“Nuh-uh, boy. We already heard some of your music.” humming to the song, Steve and Robin laughed at the interaction with your boyfriend. The song finished, and Head Over Heels from ABBA started.

“I love that song!” Steve yelled from the backseat. Eddie pretended to bump his head with the window.

“God, kill me” it wasn’t a secret Eddie despised any music that wasn’t rock or metal. But deep down he loved seeing you singing and dancing to your cheesy pop romantic songs.

“Seven more hours, Eddie. You can do it…” Robin cheered slurping at her milkshake.

Steve and Robin agreed to leave Hawkins with you and Eddie. You were moving to California, a new start. Steve knew Nancy wasn’t breaking up with Johnatan, and Robin knew that Vicky wasn’t what she really wanted.

While you and Eddie, you let him know that you couldn’t be with a rockstar, you were so scared of groupies, the adrenaline and bad decisions of them. You didn’t want to end like Priscilla and Elvis, and Eddie agreed with you. So he decided he wanted to create music, but not as a full time job, he craved to have some domesticity with you. And he wasn’t kidding when he said he was gonna marry you on the beach, that was the second thing you were gonna do after entering California, the first thing was telling your parents.

But for now, you stopped to get some burgers and fries, you were close to the motel, and in a couple of hours, you would be at your parent's house in Oceanside.

“Let’s stop here to eat” you suggested, stopping the car in the small parking lot aside from a river with the start of the sunset in the background.

Steve grabbed the food and Robin the drinks. While Eddie helped you get out of the car. You were fine, almost completely healed, but still, some help was appreciated, especially from your boyfriend.

“Pretty, isn’t it?” you asked, looking at the sight of pure nature in front of you.

“So pretty…” you discovered Eddie was looking at you, smiling like a total dumbass.

“You’re an idiot. But I love you…” you hugged him, while his chin was resting on the top of your head.

“I love you too, hot stuff” grabbing your hand, you started to walk on the grass, approaching Steve and Robin.

In less than a week, you were gonna be married.

_________________________________________

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #x reader #stranger things #Spotify

[disruptxrr]

I ship you and empery

me n oppie, we r soul sisters. we died in a car crash together. our crime scene photos got leaked and people online dubbed us 'the tesla girl & the bmw chick' there's forums on 4chan discussing our deaths and the photos of our dead bodies. people on reddit keep trying to find the playlist of the songs that played on aux while we died. we r fucking goals.

#sid(speakz)!

[stackthedeck]

hi!! I was wondering what happened to your t4t butch dean and trans cas fic?? Im really interested to read it if you still have it! butch dean is WAY to close to my heart. anyways have a nice day! <3

this has been in my ask box for literal months but I've decided to rewatch Supernatural (I'm not well) and I remembered this fic and this ask so... I'll probably never finish the fic or post it on ao3, but I did write this one scene and I like it a lot even though I like to think I'm a better writer now, but I wanna post it.

So for context this is happening in early season 5 where Sam and Dean are separated and also the plan for the fic as a whole was that Cas's complete separation from heaven was also mirrored by her gender journey, so Cas in this doesn't think of himself as a man, but has accepted that people view his vessel as a man and has excepted it. Basically, her egg hasn't cracked yet.

The road has been lonely since Sam left. Good lonely. For the first time in… well ever, Dean’s not playing mom or big sister. She’s just a hunter. A hunter who doesn’t have to look over her shoulder every second to make sure her baby brother isn’t getting maimed or hooked on demon blood. It’s good lonely… kind of.

It’s just that the front seat of the Impala is so empty and no matter how high she cranks the volume, the car just feels so quiet. The road just goes on and on forever. It sucks not having back-up on hunts, but Dean’s capable. According to the angels, she’s too important to die so she’s been pushing her luck lately.

The road hasn’t felt this empty since Dad went missing.

Dean’s pulled from her thoughts by a buzzing in her pocket. She pulls out her phone and sees a familiar number on the screen. The last time Dean ran into Cas, she gave him a burner phone so that they could keep in touch.

“Hello?” She says, phone wedged between his ear and shoulder.

“Dean, it’s Castiel,” Cas’s voice says from the phone, “where are you?”

“On the road.” Dean looks around for a mile marker, but it’s in the dead of night and there are no streetlights. Dean rambles off the interstate road she’s on and takes a wild guess at what mile she’s at. “I can pull off at the next exit if it’s important.”

A woosh of air and a flap of wings reverberate through the car. Dean looks over and Cas is in the passenger seat. “You don’t need to pull off,” Cas says into the phone as he stares at Dean.

Dean huffs and hangs up the phone, shoving it back into her pocket. “Any updates on God?”

“Nothing since the last time I saw you-” Cas sighs and looks out the windshield “-but I’m still looking.”

“If there’s nothing new—” Dean drums her fingers on the steering wheel “—then why are you here?”

Cas does his head tilt and Dean pointedly keeps her eyes on the road. Sure, she finds Cas’s clumsy attempts at expressing emotion cute, but it’s cute like a baby or a puppy. “I sensed that you were lonely.”

Dean raises an eyebrow. “Whatever happened to not perching on my shoulder?”

“Things are different now.” Cas’s words hit Dean’s ears with such certainty and finality, but she doesn’t feel like they’re true. Things are exactly the same. She’s still saving people, hunting things. It’s the family business, just without the family. Okay well, maybe things are different.

Dean does her best to keep her eyes on the road, but the highway is empty at this time of night. It’s so easy to let her eyes drift to the angel in her front seat, silhouetted by moonlight. His face is stone, that typical neutral expression, but Dean can see in his eyes that something is eating at him.

“So sitting here in silence is your grand plan for making me less lonely?” 

Cas shifts in his seat, his tie suddenly becoming very interesting. “Can I ask you a personal question, Dean?”

Dean does her best not to sigh. This better not be a chick-flick moment or worse yet, a Christian movie moment. “I thought you already knew everything about me? What with the rebuilding my soul and all.”

“I want to hear it from you.” Cas drops his tie and meets Dean’s eyes.

Dean nods, pursing her lips. “Alright, shoot.”

“How did you decide to…” Cas hesitates “...decide to… not look like the other females of your species?”

Dean laughs. If Cas had asked her that a month ago, she’d assume he was trying to get her to grow her hair out and start wearing pink. But she trusts Cas, trusts that he likes that humans don’t perfectly line up with God’s vision. “You mean, why am I a lesbian?”

“No, I understand that,” Cas says, “women are very pleasing to look at.”

Dean smiles. She’s surprised that the strip club incident didn’t turn Cas off of women or just humans in general.

“So, why am I butch?”

Cas nods. “Yes, I believe that is the term.”

“I don’t know, I just am.” Dean drums her fingers against the steering wheel. “Sam took a gender studies course when he went off to college, he probably gets this stuff more than I do.”

“Well, I want to hear it from you.”

Dean sighs and rubs at the back of her head. “I don’t know, I guess Dad was a real traditional guy. From what I remember, Mom cooked and cleaned, took care of me and Sammy and Dad went to work. I don’t remember much of Mom, but I remember being in the kitchen with her and her handing me baby Sammy to hold while she was busy. I didn’t mind those things because I was with her, you know?”

Dean stares through the windshield, watching the landscape blur as the car speeds past. “And then Mom died and Dad still went to work. And suddenly it was just me and baby Sam alone in motel rooms for days. I think Dad was so caught up in his revenge that he forgot that Sam and I needed a dad and a mom. So I started cooking and looking after Sam because if I didn’t we’d starve.”

Dean can feel the words spilling out of her like a busted dam. She’s never told anyone any of this, but now that she is, she can’t stop.

“I think Dad expected me to be the new mom. He’d come back to the motel rooms from hunts or from bars and be furious if there wasn’t something to eat. And it’s not like he ever went grocery shopping. He’d just leave a credit card—that barely ever worked by the way—or cash and expect me to figure it out! I couldn’t stand that he treated me like his little wife. Then, Sam started looking at me like I was his mom and not his big sister.

“It didn’t help that I looked like Mom. I have her eyes, you know. And when I was younger I had long curly blonde hair. Sam liked to brush it, which was good because I didn’t. I think it was soothing for him or something, but that’s probably why he keeps his hair long now.”

Dean’s rambling. She knows she is and she’s doing it on purpose because she doesn’t want to say what comes next. Cas’s eyes are fixed on her, but Dean’s not taking her eyes off the road. She could stop talking, change the subject, or give an easy answer. But if she doesn’t tell Cas right now, she’ll never tell anyone. And it’ll just keep festering and rotting inside of her.

“Dad would run his hands through my hair and tell me how pretty I was when he was drunk. It creeped me out, always made my skin crawl. He never… you know… did anything. He’d look at me the same way he looked at old pictures of Mom. I know it’s not true, or at least I don’t believe it’s true, but I feel like he only saw Mom when he looked at me. I wasn’t his daughter, I was the ghost of his dead wife. A ghost that he couldn’t salt and burn.

“And he treated me like I was going to go up in flames like Mom. For god’s sake, Sam learned to shoot a gun before I did! Dad wouldn’t take me on hunts, wouldn’t train me because if I was alive he could pretend she was too. One day I couldn’t take it anymore. I stole Dad’s clippers and buzzed my head.

“And boy, was Dad mad.” Dean winces, squeezing the steering wheel until her knuckles turn white. “He was really mad. But suddenly, he didn’t care if I went up in flames. He put a gun in my hands and took me on hunts. And it felt amazing.”

Dean smiles at the memory of the first time Dad clapped her on the back and bought her a slice of pie after a successful hunt. She can still feel that warm swell of pride after her first ghost, first vampire, first demon.

“My hair started growing out and it looked bad, like so bad. But Dad started hiding his clippers so I just had to let it grow out. Then one day he dropped me and Sam off at Bobby’s place and he took one look at me and gave me my first crew cut.”

Dean looks at herself in the rearview mirror. It’s kind of embarrassing that she’s had the same haircut since she was fifteen, but if it ain’t broke. “I remember looking at myself in the mirror and thinking, that’s me. I didn’t look like Mom anymore, I was just me for the first time.”

Dean feels wetness on her cheek and realizes that she’s crying. They’re not tears of sadness but of relief. Man, it feels so good to get all that off her chest. But still, she always ends up crying around Cas and she really can’t make a habit out of this.

“Thank you for telling me that, Dean.” Cas’s eyes aren’t trained on Dean but on his own reflection in the windshield. “I suppose I just have one more question.”

Dean shakes her head but smiles. Might as well continue this chick-flick moment. “Go ahead.”

“How does Dorothy shorten to Dean?” Cas tilts his head. “I’m unfamiliar with the nuances of human languages.”

Dean laughs at that, a good hard laugh that echoes through the car. “It doesn’t, not really.” Dean claps a hand on Cas’s shoulder, unable to stop grinning. “Sam was a little shit when I buzzed my head and he called me random boy names to get under my skin. I always liked those old cowboy movies so, whenever we’d play cowboys, Sam called me James Dean. The joke stuck and now I’m just Dean.”

“Huh,” Cas says, “you’ll have to show me those movies sometime. I’ve never seen a movie.”

“I’ll hold you to that, Cas,” Dean says, “we’ll have a girls’ night, paint our nails and watch cowboy movies.”

He’s joking but Cas doesn’t get jokes. “I would like to do this girls' night with you.” That’s a hint of an excited smile on Cas’s face and it makes Dean’s heart flutter. In the same way that puppies or babies make her heart flutter, of course.

“It’s getting late,” Cas says, turning towards Dean, “you should stop and get some rest.”

Dean shakes her head and sighs. It is late, really late, and she’d kill for a bed right now. “Wish I could Cas, but there aren’t exactly a lot of motels around.”

Cas frowns, furrowing his eyebrows. “I could drive,” he says after a moment of thinking, “and you can sleep in the backseat.”

Dean cocks an eyebrow. “You ever driven before?”

“No,” Cas says, “but I’m an angel of the lord, it can’t be that hard.”

“Tell you what,” Dean chuckles, “you give me an angel blade, and I’ll let you drive.”

“Dean, we’ve talked about this.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

…

When God created the angels he named them. Each name was unique and divine, but it also gave God power over the angels. The angels did not have the power to create, to choose so they took the names with gratitude. When Lucifer rebelled, he took new names: Satan, Morning Star, The Evil One, and many others. Castiel has not rebelled against God, just against heaven. When he finds God all will be set right. Castiel is keeping his name as a promise. He has not fallen…just questioning.

Castiel may see the importance of names, but the Winchesters do not. Sam is not Samuel, the name his mother gave him to honor his grandfather, he’s Sam or Sammy, or a million other strange words that Dean hurls at him. Dean is not Dorthy, the name her father gave her to honor her grandmother, she’s Dean. Cas is not Castiel anymore, he’s Cas and so much more.

Dean’s been calling Castiel Cas since their second meeting, it’s just a shortened version of his name; it’s not a big deal. But then… Cas is sitting in a diner with the Winchesters late one night, trying to track down the horsemen. The siblings are eating burgers and Cas has one in front of him too. He doesn’t need to eat, he's an angel, but he’s curious. He’s curious about a lot of things lately.

“Pass the ketchup, Cassie,” Dean says through a mouthful of food.

“What?” Cas looks up from contemplating his burger to stare at Dean.

“I said pass the ketchup?” Dean frowns, but then just reaches across Cas’s chest to grab the bottle at the end of the table. “Never mind, I got it.”

“No-” Cas swallows nervously “-I mean what did you call me?”

Dean and Sam put down their food and exchange glances. “...Cassie?” Dean says slowly.

Cas still doesn’t understand facial expressions. Humans read so far into a tiny movement of facial muscles. So he keeps his face very still. When Castiel was just a fledgling, Gabriel, Balthazar, and the other older angels would call him Cassie. Fledglings weren’t ready for the full responsibility of their names, so it made sense. But Gabriel continued to call him that well into his adulthood. It was sweet, made Cas feel seen and seen by someone so powerful and important as an archangel. And then Lucifer fell and angels got much more serious about names.

“It’s like Sammy,” Dean says, awkwardly bumping her shoulder into Cas, “are you good with that?”

Cas looks between Dean and Sam, unsure of what to say. He’s created tension, he can feel it, but he’s not sure how to fix it.

“Hey don’t worry about it, Cas,” Sam says a little too loudly, “you’re a grown man and it’s weird to be called something like Cassie or Sammy.” He shoots a tight-lipped frown at Dean.

“Bitch.” Dean reaches across the table to steal fries off Sam’s plate.

“Jerk!” Sam attempts to swat Dean’s hand away, but misses and Dean ends up trying to stick her tongue out at Sam and eat fries at the same time.

“I’m not a man, I’m an angel,” Cas says, looking toward Sam. “But, it’s fine,” he says, mostly to prevent any more petty squabbling. The nickname is a sign of sibling affection, both in heaven and on earth. It doesn’t matter that the way Dean said it makes his heart race and his mind reel. “Cassie is fine.”

“Well, Cassie-” Dean smiles at him “-are you going to eat that?” She doesn’t wait for a response, just snatches the burger off his plate.

And the things Dean calls him only got worse from there.

…

When Cas first met Dean, she accused him of being a “prince charming” and at the time Cas wasn’t sure what that meant, but he’s starting to get the picture. Something about saving someone only to be rewarded with a relationship. That’s not Cas.

He’s in the far corners of the globe looking for God, when he hears Dean’s voice. It’s a quiet voice in his head, but it is powerful and desperate. A prayer. Cas is close to God, he can feel it. If he just keeps going a little longer, he’ll finally make it. But Dean’s voice is in the back of his mind, calling, pleading.

Cas flies to Dean without another second of hesitation. As he gets closer, the details of the situation flood into his mind in an instant. From a human perspective, Dean and Sam are in the basement of an abandoned mansion, surrounded by people, baring gruesome smiles with knives and fists drawn. From Cas’s perspective, Dean and Sam’s souls shine in a haze of demon smog. Dean’s the brightest, familiar in it’s golden hue.

“Cas, we could use some angel mojo down hear!” Dean shouts, voice thick with blood. “...Please!”

The demons laugh like in a chorus of gnashing teeth. One steps forward, kicking Sam—who’s barely clinging to consciousness on the floor—as he moves to grab the front of Dean’s shirt.

“Scream all you like, little girl,” the demon whispers, his breath hot against Dean’s face. “The angels don’t take calls from the likes of you.”

Cas appears suddenly, hand on the demon’s head, smiting the creature inside its meat suit. Dean actually smiles when she sees him, not even looking at the shell of the demon that falls to the floor.

“You came,” She says, unaware that it holds the same power as a prayer.

Another round of hideous laughter comes from the gaggle of demons. “Oh, how the mighty fall,” another demon cackles.

Cas’s stomach drops. He’s not fallen, he’s still doing God’s will. How can protecting Dean not be his purpose?

“Dean Winchester,” the demon continues, “damsel in distress waiting for a prince to save her.”

Dean, despite three broken ribs, a twisted ankle, and several lost liters of blood, sprints at the demon, burying the knife in his chest. She moves to attack the next closest one, limping as the adrenaline wanes. Even so, she’s a machine and Cas watches her with aw.

“Cas,” Dean shouts, “a little help here!”

Cas bolts into action, smiting demons almost as fast as Dean can stab them. Once they’ve killed all the demons, Cas stands with his arms pressed to his side, watching Dean pull her knife from the final demon’s throat.

“I’m sorry,” Cas says.

Dean places a hand on her chest, cradling her broken ribs. “For what? You totally saved our asses there.”

“I do not wish to belittle you,” Cas says, “what that demon said, if I ever—”

“Can it, princess,” Dean says, “it wouldn’t be the first time a demon tried to get under my skin.”

Cas nods then steps forward with his hand raised to heal Dean. She nods back and that’s all the permission he needs to press his fingers to her forehead, healing her instantly.

Sam groans from the floor.

Dean jumps away from Cas, staring at her brother. “Umm, maybe take care of him too.”

“Yes, please,” Sam gasps, weakly wiping blood from his mouth.

Cas leans down, healing Sam as well. Sam stumbles to his feet, glaring at Cas. 

“Did you seriously heal her first?” Sam scoffs. “After she called you princess?”

“I did not!” Dean says.

“You totally did,” Sam says. “Cas, you’re just going to take that?”

Cas cast his eyes downward. He didn’t take any insult from it, but it seems he should have. “I am still unaware of human social rules, but Dean has made it clear that I am not to be her prince charming.”

“Yeah don’t be friggin’ sexist, Sammy.” Dean walks over, swinging an arm around Cas’s shoulder. “Cas is our princess in shining armor.”

“I believe I am wearing a trench coat.”

After the incident, Dean teases Cas by calling him princess. It’s just another nickname that makes its way into the many the Winchesters use for him. For the first month, Sam tries to get Dean to cut it out, but eventually, he gives up. Cas thought that Dean would drop it once it no longer annoyed her brother. It’s only when he has this thought does he realizes he doesn’t want her to stop. 

But she never does.

…

“Hey, angel,” Dean greets, shoving his shoulder the same way he shoves Sam.

“I don’t understand,” Cas says, “I do not call you human.”

“She’s flirting with you,” Sam shouts from over the impala.

“Bitch,” Dean shouts back.

“Jerk.”

Cas looks down at his vessel. He doesn’t like it being called angel, there is nothing divine about this meat suit—as Dean so often calls it—it simply carries his grace while he’s on earth.

“Cas? Earth to Cas? Cas?”

Cas startles, looking up to realize he had tuned out another Winchester argument. “What?”

“You don’t mind when I call you angel, right?” Dean says with a smirk. “You think I’m funny right?”

Cas stares into Dean’s eyes, swallowing thickly. A part of him knows—no, hopes that Dean does not see his body as him. Perhaps she knows better than anyone that what body one happens to inhabit does not define them.

“I don’t mind your nicknames, Dean,” Cas says, “but I do not find them funny.”

…

“Dean, I feel ridiculous,” Cas says through the door.

Dean waits in the hallway outside of Cas’s room.

“No you don’t,” she says, “you’re just worried I’ll think you like ridiculous.”

“What’s the difference?”

Dean chuckles at that, shaking her head.

“How do you feel, Cas?”

The door opens and Cas steps out.

“...I feel good,” she says.

She’s dressed much the same way she did when she thought she had to present her vessel as a man. But now with all the angels locked in heaven and Cas is very human, her body isn’t a vessel. It’s her. They’ve traded the slacks for a pencil skirt and nylon tights and replaced the shirt and tie with a white blouse. She’s been growing her hair out since she turned human, mostly by accident, it’s still not as long as she’d like it, but it will be. Dean’s been helping her get a smooth shave every morning and showing her what lotions to use to keep her skin soft. But Dean was never great at being a girl, so what perfume and makeup to use has been left to Google. They’re working on getting her on HRT, but it’s not like they have insurance. They have also considered a couple of spells too.

And she’s still wearing the same trench coat.

“How do I look?” Cas asks.

Dean steps forward, taking her hands in hers. She plants a kiss on her lips, soft and sweet with lipgloss.

“Like a baby in a trench coat,” Dean says, “my baby.”

#asks #not tagging this because i don't want to get bullied by the spn fandom again #for context this is part of a complete rewrite of spn with dean as an afab butch and cas as a trans woman #so like that last part makes sense in context #season 9 is when her egg finally cracks #it's a long fic that i haven't even finished yet and never will #but i think about it all the time

[bop-culture]

“You do not have to be good”: A Consideration of Sugar Ray’s “Fly”

When we were toddlers, my twin sister and I would climb to the top of our dad’s busted-ass recliner, frantically doggy-paddle our hands in the air, and participate in a shared delusion that we could fly. We’d plan our flights in advance, through places as exotic as the woods in our backyard and the church nursery, and report back to each other on the ground to verify the truth of our ability. It is remarkable how the human brain can adapt to survive harm: now that I am far removed from the fearful, angry house we lived in, it seems obvious that our pretending was a four-year-old’s magical form of dissociation. 

 We lost our aerial gifts around the time we began Kindergarten in 1997. That same year, Sugar Ray had their first hit with “Fly.” It was undoubtedly a staple of the boombox radio at our local pool in the summers, but lay dormant in my subconscious for decades until a recent vivid dream in which I argued its greatness in a perplexing attempt to impress a crush. It is a well-known schtick of mine to passionately defend pieces of pop culture deemed low-brow (see: Mariah Carey’s Glitter, the Real Housewives franchise, the Josie and the Pussycats soundtrack) but the question of  “Fly” followed into my waking hours: could it, in fact,  be a good song? 

“Fly” and its accompanying music video are a free-association exercise in musical trends of the late nineties and early aughts.  The song starts with a simple, repetitive bass riff (The Breeders). The band has a DJ (Incubus). Jamaican dancehall legend Super Cat makes a baffling yet compelling guest appearance (Shaggy).  The music video features an extended bit of lead singer Mark McGrath traversing the walls and ceiling of a small room (Jamiroquai).  Band members wear flashy pants and have an obscene amount of gelled hair and carefully trimmed goatees (Smash Mouth). But despite being endlessly referential (or in some cases, prescient), the overall effect is both like every local garage band and like nothing else in pop radio. 

For all his outward appearances of douchebaggery, lead singer Mark McGrath contains multitudes. According to genius.com, “Fly’s” opening lyric, “All around the world/statues crumble for me” could be an allusion to Shelley’s “Ozymandius.” This is perhaps a generous reading, but it nonetheless warms my heart to consider the possibility that a man who has said that he got into music to pick up chicks has a healthy respect for  English Romantic poetry.  (He also has a healthy respect for matriarchy. The lyrics frequently reference moms, and the moving conclusion of the “Fly” video sees the members of Sugar Ray exit a car to meet their assembled mothers.) 

Sugar Ray, a band whose oeuvre includes a 2009 album entitled Music for Cougars, has never taken themselves too seriously. They’re a bunch of dudes who got a record deal at a time when a bar cover band with two songs could get a record deal.  In a world of self-important songwriters, there’s something to be said for music that doesn’t try too hard. The vocals are out of tune, the iconic guitar riff seems to be composed specifically to sound kind of  shitty, the production veers abruptly into disjointed segments (Synthesizers! Spoken word! Compressed drum tracks!) with little cohesive vision. It’s sloppy, it’s human, it’s charmingly approachable. Life doesn’t always have to be profound- wouldn’t that be exhausting? 

McGrath has explained in interviews that the line “25 years old/ my mother god rest her soul” is a reference to the iconic Gilbert O’Sullivan single “Alone Again, Naturally,” widely regarded to be the most depressing pop song ever recorded. (Cass Elliot’s version is sublime, by the way.) “Fly” is about nothing, but it’s also about death! (“No one really knows/the starting or the end.”) There’s something beautifully democratic about a mediocre band vibing to what is essentially the dirtbag interpretation of a gospel standard. In the end, it doesn’t matter if “Fly” passes any test of musical quality. An attempt to evaluate its merit misses the point. Love cannot be earned: put your arms around me, baby. 

#Sugar Ray #music criticism #personal essay #lovable dirtbags

[mehthepharmacist]

I think about what I did wrong to not develop our relationship. I feel like you would have dated me if I have given enough effort. This brings me to three instances, let’s call them strikes, you gave me before you never talked to me again.

The first strike was after anatomy class. Often after class I saw you walking to the ILB to see your sister before her physics lab. I had the opportunity nearly every day to walk with you. There was a few times I did walk with you. We would talk for about half way. I would run out of things to talk about pick up the pace and leave you 20 yards behind me. I remember a few things during our walk. I remember you told me you lived on Hillcrest. I remember you told your sister not to go to any other school, but USA because you want her to leave you. I thought that was the sweetest sisterly love of anyone on campus. I remember telling you I was homeschooled and that I went to GCU for 2 years. What I would give up to be able to relive those walks and talk with you everyday the whole way to ILB. I wasn’t in a hurry I just didn’t know how to attract your attention. Now it seems that I had your attention, but I threw it away leaving you in the dust.

Strike two was we studied together for anatomy at the library on Wednesday night. I’ll never forget get my anatomical planes: coronal, sagittal, and transverse. I’ll also never forget that gap junctions are composed to six connexon. Around 5:30 we were packing up to leave and I asked you what your plans were for the rest of the day. You responded “church.” I was stunned for a minute because you were the first person who told me that. I said back to you “me too” I smiled you smiled then we left together to our cars. We studied twice together and those were the best studying moments of my life. I never asked you about going to your church, but I wish I had.

The third strike was when I asked you lunch one day. I didn’t have any classes that day so I drove to USA just to eat with you. We met in the chick fil a line. I was so happy that you were there for the soul reason of hanging out with me. I didn’t know what to do. I told you I was going to pay for you but you said you didn’t mind paying for yourself. We got to the register and right after you ordered I started ordering. You said “you don’t have to pay” and I said “I got it.” The cashier was a little surprised by that and asked if it were together and I said yes. When we go to our seat and started eating you took the pickles off your sandwich. I did the same while saying “I don’t like pickles either.” I thought we would make the perfect couple. We talked about school about which class you had next. You and Physiology 1 or 2 in the communications auditorium with Dr. Stanfield. You didn’t like her teaching method. She would have you read the book practically the whole class and answer questions she prepared. I you told me to park around back and enter the auditorium through the back double doors. I used that tip when I had a history calls in there. We talked about family you said your sister was studying biology. I made a stupid response asking/stating “the BMD program is harder and we are smarter than biology students” I wish I never said that. I don’t know what I was saying that the time. I didn’t realize how important your sister was to you. It was as if I was saying that about you. Please forgive me for those comments I know it was stupid of me to say. I told you I wanted to be a dentist because I really liked my dentist, I didn’t really want to desk job, and I liked the tools that they use. I probably sounded like I had no idea what I was talking about. It’s because I didn’t know what I was talking about. I wasn’t taking the steps to prepare for dental school. I wasn’t shadowing a dentist. I wasn’t studying for the DAT. I wasn’t even gathering with the local dental club at school. You said you were applying for Pharmacy school and studying for the PCAT. You knew what you wanted to do with your life and you took the steps to accomplish that goal. That’s what I admired about you. There was no plan B only going all in on plan A. When we stood up to leave I told you good bye and said “good luck on pharmacology school.” You corrected me and I was so embarrassed then we left in opposition directions. I watched you until you I could see you anymore. I got in my car and told myself “that went really good. I think she likes you.” The only problem is I never talked to you for a meaningful amount of time or asked you out after that. I think you would have forgiven me of my awkwardness if I had just talked to you more.

After these three strikes I think to myself “why did I not want to build a deeper relationship with you.” I’ve come up with many reasons. (1 I was embarrassed to reveal my feelings for you. I thought someone would find out and I would be humiliated for it. I worst nightmare is running into someone I knew at school and they saying some remark about me liking a girl. (2 My family, I didn’t know what they would say when they would learn I liked someone and wanted to spend time with her instead of them. None of my siblings had love interests so I had no way of knowing how they would react. 3) I was very involved in my church I was a counselor and game leader of my church’s CBC program on Wednesday night. I didn’t want to abandon them to go to church with you. They needed me and didn’t have anyone to replace me. Wednesday was a kids program so I couldn’t invite you to that. I was embarrassed of my church’s high school and college group. We had the ugliest building and some of the most broken physically and emotionally kids. I didn’t want that to be your first impression of my church. I invited you once, but you declined. (4 I wasn’t ready for a relationship. I liked being single. I could do and go anywhere I wanted. I didn’t use that freedom because again I did know what my parents would say so I stayed at home.

Looking back on these four reasons my parents were the biggest reason I never pursued you. Hanging out with you meant I was no longer loyal to them and helping them at church. I should have given that up the second I saw you in O Chem class. Think of the memories we could have made. I’ve lost 10 years with you and I hope I find someone else soon or I don’t know how long I’ll be writing these stories.

I guess this one is long enough.

Love,

Caleb

[ontheroadrp]

GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN, FREDDY BURTON (david harbour fc)  

life on the road can be tough, but we’re glad you and yours made it to taos!

basics

[DAVID HARBOUR, CISMALE, HE/HIM] ever heard about [FREDDY BURTON]? Out here on the road, they have a reputation of being [OBSERVANT & FOCUSED] but also [SECRETIVE & STUBBORN], no wonder they’re called [THE GUN BELT]. According to local legend, they’re [FORTY-SIX] and when they pull up to camp not a soul can mistake the sound of [BACHMAN-TURNER OVERDRIVE’S TAKIN’ CARE OF BUSINESS] following them. Some say they carry [AN OLD DOG TAG THAT STAYS AROUND HIS NECK, HIS COLLECTION OF PISTOLS, & A POLAROID OF A YOUNG GIRL AT HER COLLEGE GRADUATION] and have been traveling with [THE MILITANTS]. [sammy, twenty-four, she/her, pst]

biography

Freddy Burton has always been mediocre. He entered the world two years after his older brother, Elias and three years before his younger sister, Marie with not so much as a small whimper from the lack of warmth to his body. He was always the “easy” child in the Burton family. Marie always had a bit of a bratty streak, a result of her being the youngest and the only girl. Elias was his father’s favorite, something Richard Burton would always remind Freddy. Elias was, by all means, the better version of Freddy. He had straight A’s, always brought the prettiest girls home, and was an extremely gifted tennis player. Freddy coasted by with A’s and B’s, only brought one girl home (before subsequently dumping her because her love of milkshakes was dipping into his cigarette fund), and was never much of an athlete despite his large build.

Freddy always kept his head low, growing up. It was better to be undetected than detected. He strayed from the absolute nerdy weirdos and jocks, alike. He had a small group of friends and that was it. Thanks to that, he grew observant. It was almost like his own superpower and the reason for his parents divorce — running to his mother, Joanne, after spotting female clothing in his father’s car that most definitely did not belong to her or Marie.

After high school, Freddy didn’t have many options. He wasn’t smart enough for college, but he was a big guy who could follow orders and knew his way around a gun so he enlisted in the military. Freddy wasn’t a showstopper by any means, but he worked hard enough to not get the boot. The military was terrifying and Freddy learned that quick enough, but he wasn’t about to stick himself out of place. He just coasted by, like he always did.

Remember that chick Freddy dumped in high school? Get this, he married her! Sometime on leave during 1961, he ran into Peggy back home and they found comfort in each other one night. It was four months later that he got a letter from Peggy, detailing that she had found out she was pregnant. Freddy had no desire to contest his parentage and he wasn’t a deadbeat, so they had a quick shotgun wedding and sometime later, Jenny Burton was brought into the world. Freddy wasn’t there for her birth and didn’t meet her until she was six months old. He never quite enjoyed the idea of being a husband or a father, but when he laid eyes on Jenny for the first time, he thought that maybe having a family wouldn’t be too bad. 

The older he got, the less reliable he was on the field, despite Freddy’s protests that he was just fine. Regardless, he was stationed in Texas and moved his family down there. It was nice, to play house momentarily while getting to work in operations still. That was, until the incident. He was doing his monthly training when he pulled a ligament in his knee. It wasn’t anything that wasn’t fixable, but Freddy was forty now and it put him out of his career for good. Everything that he had worked for was gone in an instant.

While he healed, Freddy tried to think of his next course of action which is when he turned to local law enforcement. He had the experience and they wouldn’t put him out for a bad knee when all he was doing was solving petty crimes, so it seemed to be perfect. Unfortunately, his home life wasn’t. Freddy had grown irritable after his injury and there was only so much Peggy could put up with before she filed for divorce. The only thing he was thankful for was that Jenny was eighteen now and heading off at university so there was no long winded custody battle.

Peggy kept the house and Freddy moved into a crappy condo close by. It was in that condo that Freddy lost himself along the way. He woke up, drank a beer, smoked a pack on the way to work, had a tuna sandwich, came home, drank a few more beers, smoked another pack of cigarettes, ate a TV dinner, had a shot of whiskey, and then passed out on his recliner to start it all over again. He did that for a few years until Jenny, now freshly graduated from college, was cleaning up all of the beer cans and loose ashes before telling him that he needed to figure out what he wanted to do and get his shit together because she wasn’t about to watch him drink himself to death.

She was right, and Jenny was the only person’s opinion that mattered to him. If she was disappointed in him, then he’d become disappointed in himself. There wasn’t anything left for him in Texas, so he sold the condo, packed up as much shit as he could, and hit the road. Not too bad for retirement. 

stats

Please distribute up to fifty points among the following stats! Click here for more detailed instructions on stats.

Athletics - -2

Burglary - -1

Contacts - 2

Crafts (Sewing, mending, basket making, weaving, etc. etc.) - -3

Deceive - 3

Drive (like, actual driving ability) - 3

Empathy - -2

Fight - 2

Investigate - 3

Lore (Kinda like knowledge) - 2

Navigation - 1

Notice - 3

Physique - -3

Provoke - 2

Rapport - 2

Resourcefulness - 2

Stealth - 1

Will - 2

extras

pinterest board

#submission #accepted #the gun belt

[blondrichclosetwitch]

(Dragon is our last name in Bulgarian)

I understand that you think you are above it

That there’s no law meant for you

Do you think we’re a book?

Thinking of you is another way of dying

I’ll be the last thing you said.

I’m your sister

We only pass this way but once

You were the one that they'd talk about around town as they put you down

(Get out of my house!)

I am the concierge chez-moi, honey

Won't let ya in for love, nor money

This _______ _______ chick just put my spine out of place: wham, bam

So I said "So long" and I waved "Bye-bye"

Cause my head's a dictionary of your broken chairs (12:09/3:09)

“Every finger in the room is pointing at me.”

It's only teenage wasteland.

They're all wasted! First you look so strong then you fade away.

“Bring a Coleman lantern and a radio and watch with me from the shore.”

every night for a thousand more i hear them calling

“Contact, I hijacked the frequencies.”

Lights out! Guerrilla radio! Turn that shit up!

All you pen devils know the trial was vile

Druids

There is a lady all in white

Holds me and sings a lullaby

I don't feel so bad now in the car

Are you scared of the thought?

There's a heavy cost to letting someone else call the shots

Tell us what you've learned

I reached out when I heard you call my name.

But now I’m pointing the finger and maybe then you’ll see the truth

Got a big fat lawsuit and everything

I want my bucks for restitution

And it's the Rebel and the Devil, and one of us is goin' to Hell

I wish to God that I had've been healthier mentally

Tessie turns tricks because love left holes

And four swell kids breaking her heart

Oh, sorry, you haven't heard? We are the children of the new world.

The revolution begins and ends with you. If you stopped being so feeble you could have so much more.

I'm such a fool for sacrifice

It's coming down

Can't stand still while the music is playin'

Hey, she got the way to move me

Got myself arrested

communication failed

Wrote a song for truth

When I couldn't even talk to you

Then I heard you scream

I saw a you I didn't want to see

One of many children

Jumping out of my flesh, and I said “Cash in! Cash in now…..Baby”

There's 666 on the kitchen floor

Getting fat on your own fear

Bring that beer over here

I stomp on the floor just to make a sound

Big fish/little fish why you always ragging on the man

We carry the same wound

But have different cures

Your soul filled with mud and bats and curses

Men you could trust will fade like children's drawings

Your boss will fire you

The police will jail you

Your soul will feel so bad, that you know it will not ever quite live again and there'll be nothing you can do

When I'm dressed in white

Send roses to me

Remember that's called a one way street

And you can't get it down without crying

the miracle is having 5 women in love with you at the age of 55

I am bitter sometimes

but the taste has often been

sweet. it's only that I've

feared to say it. it's like

when your woman says,

"tell me you love me," and

you can't.

I will be locked in the arms of a crazy life

justice is everywhere and it's working

But now we can testify

We can make it if you don’t quit on me

#:17 stuff that she says

[durenjtmusings]

Omg, I think I’m in love with this writer’s love of Baby:

“Baby drowsed in the spacious Bunker garage, occasionally purring and sparking under her hood, dreaming of Colorado mountain switchbacks and Utah salt flat straightaways and Nova Scotia’s Cabot Trail, circling the northern reaches of Cape Breton Island, flying between seascapes and the rise of the Highlands lifting to the sky, pacing pods of pilot whales and convocations of bald eagles..”

Permission https://archiveofourown.org/works/15077234 (which is not about Baby at all, but very very soft and wonderful wincest romance.)

@lochinvar on Ao3

#car chick soul sisters #fangirling a fafic writer #always reblog the impala #spn baby #the impala #spn fanfic recommendations #wincest

[the-90s-music-colosseum]

Round 3 Match 5

propaganda below the cut! (huge wall of text warning)

Courtney Love:

"i want courtney to push me around and throw me on the floor SHE'S SO HOT AND HER MESSINESS MAKES HER EVEN HOTTER !!!!!"

"She's beautiful and gorgeous and the definition of 90s fashion. I'm convinced she could pull off any outfit ever she's so stunning"

"that one photo of her in red lipstick and a black dress smoking a cigarette… your honour i rest my case"

"I don't care what conspiracy theories you tell me. no one rocks the grungy makeup look like her."

"gonna be her for halloween"

Mike Patton:

"Mike didn't consistently wear BDSM masks matched with boiler suits and lick Trevor Dunn on stage just to lose this bracket. Also, if you don't think he's hot in every which way, you clearly haven't seen this: https://youtu.be/gjEbHBafvm0 or this: https://youtu.be/i9_hCjcFNO0 or this: https://youtu.be/Kfq7wHJu21c"

"Mike Patton collaborated with basically everyone who's anyone in music, and he speaks Italian too. He's great in a live show. And Mr. Bungle is unmatched and unparalleled, full stop."

"HEE HEE HOO HOO HA HA FUNNY WHITE MAN SCREAMS IN MY EAR AND BUSTS IT DOWN SEXUAL STYLE"

"I'm a lesbian but I find him insanely attractive which I think says a lot"

"whenever mike arches his back and screams a part of my soul leaves my body and is shattered by the soundwaves."

"all you need to do to love mike is watch this: https://youtu.be/0gq_Jn41iMM&t=1375 the fact that he blurts that out and then super casually goes into the song leaves me crying with rage and hormones every time I see it"

Jonny Greenwood:

"Every art girl's (and boy's) wet dream"

"He wrote the tourist. That's all you need."

"Repeat from my Thom propaganda but he was a part of it so anyways. I had a dream once where I met him and Thom on the street and asked them to sign my Pablo Honey CD, so Thom pushed me into open traffic and I got hit by a car and died and Jonny laughed his ass off. 10/10, my last sight before death was his beautiful face laughing."

"I could probably snap him like a twig but I want to marry him and have 3 children with him before I do that"

"Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose 1/5 of Radiohead. Choose 1/5 of In Rainbows. Choose the man who wrote weird fishes, both Greenwood sisters ,the man in South Park, his telecaster and the stickers on it. Choose the bug Jacqueline Kennedy, his love for literature and poetry, and his lovely lisp. Choose his sublime score for Phantom Thread and his husband Paul Thomas Anderson. Choose the weird amount of straight men who thirst over him in the YouTube comment section. Choose his jawbone. Choose the most pretentious, unpretentious member of the band. Choose his silky hair and his (probably) Dove shampoo. Choose his great knowledge of music theory and how he often disregards it. Choose Astroboy's biggest fanboy (minus maybe Thom. Choose a very hot Alex James who eloped with a fish. Choose Jonny Greenwood. Choose your future. Choose life… Involuntary Trainspotting reference but please vote Jonny over Wario. Oh, and( even though Jonny lives in Italy at the moment), I live in Oxford and if I meet him, I'll tell him that he won."

"He keeps chickens guys, CHICKENS"

"I'm a straight guy but no joke Jonny is hot tbh maybe it's cuz he looks like a chick but like damnnnn"

"He's so gorgeous....kinda like an ant 😍😍😍😍"

#most attractive 90s musician #polls #poll #90s music #tournament #courtney love #hole band #mike patton #faith no more #mr bungle #jonny greenwood #radiohead

[ill-heart]

Brothers of Anarchy (a Jalim motorbike and leather UA)

As I promised before, here it comes, my Sons of Anarchy UA for Jason and Salim! Even if you don't know the serie (which is a great one, you should watched it), you can read it with your eyes closed. The references are like... almost inexistent? It's mostly about motorbike and clubs.

Again, thanks to @kolchekyourweapons who inspired this monster. Gosh, I finished it but I'm sure I will get back to it soon... Maybe there will be a collection of stories, maybe.

For now, enjoy the beast!

Summary: Jason is a biker in the well-known Semper Fi Motorcycle Club, a club which saved him from hell. He likes the club, he likes his buddy but there's still something missing in his life. Someone, more precisely, and maybe the club can offers him that too.

Pairing: Jason Kolchek/Salim Othman

Words: ~ 7 k

Chapters: 1/1

**

The garage smelled the men’s sweat and a mixed of copper and iron, with a small touch of dust in the air. It was messy, full of pieces of machinery and tools, however everyone who worked here was always able to find what they needed. An outsider couldn’t, but there none of them were allowed in this sanctuary. Only Semper Fi’s members and their friends could walk into this big room, where motorbikes and cars could be repaired by precises hands. Some of their chicks liked to come in here, because they enjoyed observing their partners’ work or just because it made them wet.

Jason couldn’t blame them, he always felt safe and comfortable in this garage. And the club, the Semper Fi’s gang, was everything he had in this shitty life of his. For sure, it wasn’t easy every day, but he wouldn’t trade any of it for anything; not even for all the world’s gold. As he crawled under an old bike, face’s covered with engine oil, he let his thoughts took him years ago. Years before he found this piece of Heaven.

Life at the farm was hard, and his mother didn’t make it easier for his sister and him. Bitter and obsessed with faith, she left her children alone for hours, even for days, just so she could do her sermons on the street or at the local church. And when she came home… Jason’s hands tightened on his screwdriver, she accused her own flesh and blood to be unworthy. Her fingers weren’t made for hugs and caresses, they were for slaps and punishments. Her cold heart locked Mels and him into the cellar for stupid things. If they didn’t feed the animals properly? Cellar. If Mels talked to much about a guy at school? Cellar. If Jason showed any sign of rebellion? Cellar again. Sometimes, she liked to beat them; not as much as people thought, yet it was enough for the kids to run away. Oh, they tried so many times to escaped this hell, but no one helped them. Their mother was respected and for everyone’s mouth blamed the children. Bullshit.

When Jason finally grew eighteen, he fled the farm and ended in this city; Charming it was called. It wasn’t a big one, nor a small one; more like gap between sprawling cities and obscurantism villages. Charming it was, indeed. They got their own cinema, four or five pretty goods diners, three schools, two campus and universities and one big hospital. Lot of families established around it, seduced by the name and the publicity. Not a perfect town, but no one was.

The young man didn’t think he would stick around when he first came here. He stayed because he hadn’t any plans nor friends and fell into drugs very quickly. With his sister still stuck at his childhood’s home, his loneliness took over him. What a wreck he was back then: always angry, always violent; in life but also in bed. He hurt so many hearts and faces, made so many eyes cried and had debt with every dealer in town. The cops knew him well; some of them were nice, others liked to arrest him and mock him. Then, someone offered him a hand. Jed. The International President of the Semper Fi Motorcycle Club helped this poor soul of his, gave him a job, a purpose, and a family. One he could really rely on.

“What ya doin’ big bro of mine?” The screwdriver almost escaped his fingers as his whole body jumped in surprise. For fuck sake, Mels! He groaned then looked upon the bike, where his sister gazed at him with amused eyes. “Mels, really?! I’m workin’ here.”

“Nothin’ can’t stop me to annoy my big bro.” She answered before she kneeled and watched the damage on the bike. “It’s Clarice Strokes’s bike, na?”

As curious as always. Jason rolled his eyes then smiled as he took a closer look at Mels’s face.

When he wanted to become Jed club’s member, the old man proposed to find his sister and protect her from their mother. Jason haven’t thought about this selfless idea too much; he said yes. And so there she was, safe and sound, at his side. Women couldn’t join the club, but they could be shield by one of them. So, when Mels started working at the bar owned by the gang, no one laid dirty hands on her. Not a single man, nor their mother. Jed kept his promise and Jason’s couldn’t thank him enough for it. God knew how bad they could have turned without him and his club.

The young biker nodded then sighed. He was a naughty grin spread on his sister’s lips. “When are ya gonna make her yar old lady?”

“Never.” He growled abruptly before Mels laugh filled the garage. “Hey, she’s waitin’ for ya to make a move.”

“Well, she can wait. I ain’t interest with romance and… Those stupid things.”

His youngest leaned closer then asked, with bantered pupils: “Ya just want a hole to fuck from time to time?”

“Yeah, exactly.” His lips hissed with annoyance. “So shut the fuck up and let me work.” Mels sticked her tongue out, and when Jason thought, she was done tormenting him, her hands grabbed his cap and she stormed out of the garage, laughing. “Ya should treat ya ladies better, asshole!”

“Get back here, ya lil’ punk!” He tried to get up, but the motorcycle grumbled at him and started shaking. Jason had to hold the damn thing by the wheel so it wouldn’t crush him. Many insults came out his mouth as he gesticulated under the big and beautiful machinery, then he heard someone’s coming in.

In a blink of an eye, he recognized his best friend, Nick whose voice seemed confused. “Why was your sister laughing with your cap between her fingers?”

Yeah… It’s fucking worth it, the young man thought as he chased her sibling into the bar. Even if he couldn't be himself in every domain, here felt like Heaven.

“Ya don’t want to know!” He finally escaped the bike embraced and rushed outside. Jason spotted the little monster before the bar and run behind her. Mels giggled and he couldn’t help but smiled; his life was definitely better here, with the Semper Fi. Even if it wasn’t what he expected, it made her littler sister laughed and so it was worth it.

۩๑ ๑۩

“Why do you have to see him this time?” Nick questioned with an eyebrow raised.

They have crossed the whole city at least twice today, thanks to Jed’s worries about their rival’s action. Jason didn’t mind those rides, especially when he was sent with his best-friend. He wouldn’t like no one else than Nick to kick some ass with him. They joined the club the same day and enjoyed each other’s presence since then. Both of them protected the other, and they also liked same alcohols and movies. One of the few things that separated them, was their taste in women.

Nicky fancied older ladies, blond or ginger with a fearless temper. Ya seemed to enjoy when a woman gets bossy with ya in bed, Jason joked about his friend’s fondness at least one per week. And so his friend struck back with the whole Clarice’s situation.

She was a gorgeous lady, with the perfect amount of ripeness and this damn hot spicy temper. Before Jason, she fucked another member of the club, Joey. Everyone thought she would become his old lady, but the poor man was shot one year ago by their rival’s gang. He died on the spot, and after weeks of grieving and drinking, Clarice and Jason became closer. They fucked once, because they were both drunk, then again, and again. Other members noticed and were now rooting for them. They gave them wink, and endless innuendo in hope they would end up together soon. Urgh, I ain’t needed an old lady.

Even though, he enjoyed fucking with Clarice it didn’t feel… Well, he didn’t love her that way. This woman was more like a sex-friend, so were all the woman he lured to his bed. Jason never felt anything for them, because he…

A sweet breeze made him shivering as he rode down his precious bike. The sun reigned on the sky today, and the nice weather watched over Charming. Nick sighed then looked around them. The area was mostly empty, despite the kind wind kissing buildings and trees. Most of the people were at their work, just like the man Jason came here to see.

In front of the two Semper Fi’s member, stood the Cat’s library. A simple establishment owned by a sweet man called Salim Othman. He was an immigrant, just like his son, and settled in the city three years ago. At first, Jason didn’t like him, nor trust him because of… Well, the biker blushed, ‘cause he was a foreigner. But when Mels started hanging with the man’s son, he was forced to reconsider his prejudices; because Salim Othman was one of the best people he met in this town. He had a strict side, balanced with an open-mind and a naughty habit of cynical jokes. He never yelled, always talked softly, and calmed most of the arguments he was involved in; at least, if the fuckers annoying him weren’t too bastard with him. And when they pushed it too far, Salim beat the shit out of them.

Jason saw him fight once, and… Fuck, Salim is so hot when he kicks ass.

Now, the younger man found himself hanging into his library for hours, just so he could enjoy the man’s sweet behavior and infinite knowledge about books. He got it from his son, as he repeated it all day. Zain is all I have left in this world. His boy didn’t seem to realize, but his father was a fucking good man. For him, who lost his father and was punished by his mother’s hands all day, Salim felt like a proper dad. Not perfect but still trying his best for Zain and it was enough for Jason.

“Ya can go, I might stay here for a while.” He finally confessed to his friend, who sighed again. “When did you become such a sucker for old books?”

“Hey, every man has his secrets, Nicky.” Jason narrowed his eyes, then gently punched his shoulder. “And ya can’t force me to answer.”

“Na, it’s true. But be careful though…” The American put his arm around his friend’s shoulders. “You don’t want to be caught reading porn in here.”

Without any delicacy, Jason pushed him away and groaned despitefully. “Hey, it ain’t ‘cause I’m enjoyin’ sex that I think about it all day. Really, ya and Mels should get laid!”

Nicky smiled, and his friend knew what he was about to say before the words even left his mouth. “I pegged Rachel earlier, you know, when you weren’t looking.”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure she’s the one peggin’ ya.” His friend answered with a mysterious glare, then got on his own motorcycle again. “Spoilers.” He greeted Jason then started the engine. The bike loudly purred in the street, then drove his owner away as Jason adjusted his leather on his body and his cap on his head. God, he felt gorgeous in these clothes.

He gazed at his motorbike, rested his hand on the black and lustrated wheel, then murmured softly: “Don’t worry, I ain’t goin’ too far.” The vehicle answered with silence, but Jason took it as encouragement and so he finally let go. “Yeah, ya right. He’s waitin’ for me… I guess.” Jason shrugged his shoulders and entered the Cat’s Library, smile spreading on his pink lips.

The smell of plants and books overwhelmed him the moment he opened the front door. The place was sightly decorated, full of shelf and bookcase cracking under the weight of hundreds of books. Each part of the place seemed well organized; each book rightly categorized by skilled hands. Four plants were suspended from the ceiling and gave an irresistible charm to the library. Walls were repainted in beige and brown tone, and a soft music ran through Jason’s ears as he gazed at the beauty of the shop. Sometimes, he felt like the forest found him and invaded the library to comfort him. It reminded him the nature surrounded his father’s farm, and the games he played with Mels for hours when they were younger.

He liked being in here, if though reading wasn’t something he enjoyed doing. He read books once, but only for his sister before they both sleep in their tiny room. Mels could listened fairytales stories for days if he was the one narrated it. But they weren’t children anymore, and his youngest didn’t need foolish stories to dream about a better life. She lived it, with him by his side.

Footsteps at the back of the library banished the thought, and soon enough the owner of it appeared, an enormous pile of books resting on his arms. “Oh…” A smile spread on his mouth as he recognized Jason. “Seems like I won’t get bored today after all.”

Instantly, Jason rushed to him and took some of his volumes. Lucky him, Mels wasn’t there to mock him with a cynical comment as such as “What a gentleman”. He would have looked daggers at her, and she would have replied something smart; but mostly embarrassing. “I can give ya a hand, if ya need.”

A spark of amusement lightened in the librarian eyes, as he leaned closer. “What a gentleman, I thought bikers were more like… Big bad boys?”

Jason answered with an aggressive moan, but it didn’t change his mind. He kept the books between his arms, holding them with as much gentleness as he could, then followed the man on the alleys. Mels is coming here to often, she's infecting him with her stupid jokes, goddamn it. As he cursed his little sister for her chaotic behavior, Salim started putting books in the different shelfs, eyes on his friend. “You’ve just missed Zain.” The Iraqi said softly.

“Really?” The biker sighed before his pupils gazed at the windows of the library. Salim’s son admired him, and the whole club. Everyone knew he wanted to become part of it too, but Jed… Well, the laws of the club forbidden it. Zain wasn’t… Jason nervously shrugged his shoulders as he felt the weight in his arms disappearing. “I’m sure he’s gonna han’ out with my sis’.”

“I don’t know. He left the library with such a…” The older man sighed then looked away, suddenly ashamed of his behavior. “I’m sorry, I know the club don’t care about it.”

“I care.” Jason answered without hesitation, but when he saw his friend’s cheeks coloring with red, he started regretting his impulsivity. “I mean… Fuck.” Now, he was blushing too, and his beloved cap didn’t hide it enough at his taste. Real’ smooth, Jason. Real’ smooth. “What I wanted to say was… Hm… Zain is Mels’s friend, and the friends of our family are just like… Family?” Fuck, it was miserable. He cursed again, despite his cap and leather, Jason felt like he was naked in front of Salim.

“Jason, that’s…” Before the librarian could answered properly, Jason’s ears caught the throbbing of motorbikes; too many of them. His eyebrows frowned, he looked through the windows again and saw… Guns. “Salim!”

In a blink of an eye, Jason threw himself on the other man and made them both fall on the ground. The moment their bodies touched the wooden floor, the shooting started. Outside, bikers with guns drowned the library under sustained shots. A scared whining escaped Salim mouth as he covered his ears and stayed still on the ground. Jason shielded him with his own body, eyes closed as his thoughts raced in his mind.

And when the shooting finally stopped, he jumped on his feet and rushed outside the library. But the assailants were already leaving, riding their monstruous bikes to the horizon. Although Jason was fast enough to recognized the emblem on the back of their leathers. Chinese. His teeth grounded as he yelled furiously: “Bastards!” His scream was devoured by the roar of the bikes then he ran into the library to check on Salim.

The man skin was red, some shard of the window glass cut his face but nothing deadly. Not a single bullet hurt him, however his eyes were full of suffering. Around him, broken shelfs, ripped open books and terracotta mixed with dirt and plants. The library was ruined.

“I couldn’t…” Salim’s pain transformed into pure rage as he cried fiercely, “Some of those books’ edition worth three months of pay!”

Jason drawn himself closer to his friend, worries dancing in his gaze. “Salim are ya alri…”

“It’s not important! Look at the mess they made!” The biker’s skin shivered as the older man started collecting books with hurry. Salim, despite not belonging to any club, was an impressive man; strong and stubborn who put his librarian well-care before his. Passionate. This part of him… It was impossible for Jason to stay indifferent about it.

“Careful here, ‘ll give ya a hand.” He said before putting his fingers upon his friend’s. The Iraqi seemed so calm down, then sighed desperately as he looked the damages. “Who was it?”

“Chinese.” Jason answered quickly before he raised his eyebrows with confusion. “But I ain’t understandin’ shit. Jed made a deal with them, months ago, we’re supposed to be allies. So why are they attackin' us?”

At his side, Salim’s face darkened. “Could it be… By Allah… I hope it’s not Zain’s fault.”

“Why would it be?”

The older man rubbed his temples, obviously tired and overrun. “You know how much he wanted to join the Semper Fi’s club… And he… He is acting strangely since he had that conversation with Jed.” Jason’s eyes lowered as he remembered that day. The day his President almost beat the shit out of Zain because he didn’t understand why he couldn’t join the club. How could he? Jason thought sadly, we crushed this boy’s dream with harsh words. The biker stayed in touch with the boy, just like his sister did but maybe… The trail of his thought was interrupted by the librarian’s flickering voice. “I fear he got himself into troubles to prove his worth.” Salim eyes wide opened as he put a shaky hand on his mouth, tears at the edge of his hand. “By Allah, if something happened to him…”

“Hey, hey… Calm down, Salim.” Jason held his friend’s shoulders between his hands and looked at him deeply. “I will ask Nick and Eddie to watch over the library, okay? In the meantime, Merwin will escort ya home and I will search for yer boy. Got it?”

After a heavy silence, during which Salim watched over the ripped books and the mess made by the bikers, he finally looked at Jason again. “I can’t let you search for Zain alone. He is my son, Jason.”

“Yeah, he is. And if those bastards want to make Zain pay for anything, they’ll come after ya too. They almost shot ya here, so the best thin’ ya can do for yer son… Is to wait at home. Okay?”

In the older man’s eyes, Jason saw worries, reason, and deep fear fighting. He looked at his teeth biting his lips and his fingers strengthened on his shirt. “I…” He closed his mouth then nodded, but the biker knew he felt useless. “Don’t worry, Sal’… I’ll find yer boy and send it back to ya.”

۩๑ ๑۩

Waiting for Nick, Merwin and Eddie seemed like an eternity. By the time they got in the library, the cops were already there and harassing Salim with all kinds of questions. Most of them laid distrustful eyes on the bikers, but Eddie and Nick convincing them and so they could stay. Eddie was an old man and scholar man, always strict but polite with people. He liked poetry and even though children weren’t his cup of tea, most of the kids in the block loved his stories. He could become goofy and playful with them; perfect image of a loving grandfather. Just like Jed, adults trusted his words and cops easily yielded before his eloquence.

When the cops started questioning the neighborhood, Jason explained the whole situation with his friend. Of course, everyone worried about the attack and so Jed was called in an instant. Eddie took care of him, luckily for the three other bikers. No one calmed their President’s fury like the sixtieth man; not even his old lady.

Soon after the call, Jason promised Salim he would find his boy and vanished on the streets with his faithful bike.

He knew the boy’s habits, so he rushed into different places where Zain liked to chill alone or with Mels. The teenager was nowhere to be found, and so pure dread started invading Jason guts. Salim would never survive if something bad happened to his son, everyone at the club knew this simple fact. But when he feared the worst, he got a call from his sister. Her voice, devoid of amusement, ordered him to meet her at the old bridge. He knew which one it was before she even said the name.

In a matter of ten minutes, he managed to reach the bridge. Left unfinished years ago, when a stupid project for the aggrandizement of the town was abandoned. Jason knew the place by heart, for he came burying bodies and stroke some deal with others Semper Fi’s members and their rival gang.

The moment he put his crash helmet away, someone whistled in the distance. Mels. He whistled back and his sister appeared behind a dense bush with… Zain. Mels held his hand between her fingers, and gazed at surrounding area; obviously, she wanted to be sure her brother wasn’t followed. Jason’s fingers tightened on the gun he kept with him all the time, then he came closer to the teenagers.

“How did ya end up here?” He asked with worry.

“I borrowed Clarice’s bike.” As Jason’s lips twisted with disapproval, Mels added: “Yeah, I know it was dangerous and if somethin’ happened to it, I’ll pay.” He sighed then turned to face Zain. The boy carefully avoided his eyes, but the ex-junkie couldn’t let him get away. “Zain, what happened?”

Zain seemed to shrink then started shaking. “I… I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to…” Mels hugged him, tried her best to calm the anxiety rising in his voice and body, as Jason kneeled before the boy. “Yer dad is freakin’ out right now, and the Chinese’s gang destroyed the library so ya have to come clean with me, Zain.”

Most of the Semper Fi’s club would have shaken the boy or screamed at him, but not Jason; for he knew how stressful it already was for the Iraqi boy. He could never hurt a child nor a teenager. Never.

And after a moment of sobbing, Zain finally explained what happened. Last night, when he was brooding around the Chinese’s block, he heard them talking about betraying the other club. At first, he thought he might rush to the garage and tell the story, then he wondered if defending the club wouldn’t allow him to join it later. Zain returned home, prepared some Molotov cocktail, sneaked into the Chinese’s garage and threw it on every carelessly. Of course, he was spotted and since he yelled about defending the Semper’s Fi reputation… It escalated quickly. So the library’s just a warnin’.

“Shit.” Jason let out with worry.

“I’m… I’m sorry I shouldn’t have…” Zain started crying between Mels arms. Suddenly Jason pulled him closer and placed his hands on the boy’s cheeks. “Zain, what was fuckin’ brave. Stupid ‘cause goin’ on a mission like that without any back up could have get ya killed, but brave anyway.”

Salim’s son’s eyes lightened with admiration. Gosh, this kid ‘s really into me.

He wiped Zain’s tears then straightened up as Mels looked at the road. “What are we gonna do, Jason?”

“I’ll call Jed and we’re gonna go on a lockdown at the garage. ‘Cause I’m sure the Chinese won’t stop with Salim’s library.”

“Would have been good though.” His sister said bitterly.

“Okay, Mels ya take Zain with ya. I’ll escort ya to the garage right fuckin’ now.”

Brother and sister shook they head, and two bikes thrummed on the deserted roads.

۩๑ ๑۩

In less than two hours, every member’s family sat in the bar owned by the club. Jason talked to Jed then the President took Zain on their meeting room for one-to-one conversation. The biker did his best, so Jed wouldn’t be to hard on him, but this whole situation was so messed up… I’aint got damn a clue ‘bout what will happen next.

He looked for Salim in the different rooms, but when his path met Merwin’s without the Iraqi, Jason feared the worst. “Why… Dude, why aren’t ya with Salim?!”

“For fuck sake, Jason! He’s a man, he can handle himself. I’ve got a wife and a child to take care of right now.” On these words, Jason put his helmet and leather on then rushed outside. He found his bike, waiting for him in the parking, then rode to Salim’s place.

He lived in a peaceful area of Charming, in a small and simple house. For a father and his only son, it was enough. The owned a garden where Salim planted a lot of things, like pumpkins or strawberries, onions and carrots, etc. He was amazing at cooking, but frankly bad when it came to bakery. Jason didn’t complain though, for he liked to taste his friend’s culinary experience. It gave him some time to spare with the librarian and to admire the beauty of his smile, of his laughter but also of his tentative lips… Fuck, why am I thinkin’ ‘bout this right now?!

Jason shook his head and knocked at the door. “Salim?” Nobody answered. “Salim, ya there?” He knocked again then muted himself. For a moment, he stayed there before the front door. Suddenly, he hard something… Something like… A stifled cry! Without hesitation, he kicked down the door with his boots and rushed into the house.

“Jason!” There, in the living room, three men were holding Salim and trying to shut him out. Another one spotted Jason and when their eyes met, he took his gun aimed it at the librarian’s face. “One move and your friend here is dead.”

The biker put his arms up, and something heavy fell on his head. His legs weaken, his eyes closed, and unconscious took over him. Fuck… Salim… ‘M sorry.

۩๑ ๑۩

When his eyelids opened again, a terrible headache made him whined. The back of his head hurt, and he felt sick at the blurry world surrounding him. His hands were tied in his back, and his body had been carelessly thrown on a wet cellar. The place was dark, but a fin ray of light helped him examined the area.

After two, or maybe three, seconds adjusting to the obscurity, he saw a body laying at his side. “Salim!”

The other man seemed to awoke at his call, and their anxious gaze finally met. “Ja… Jason? Are you okay?” Salim managed to kneel and started looking at his friend’s features. “By Allah, they haven’t been kind with you…”

“Don’t worry ‘bout me, I’m fine.”

“No. No, you are not.” The Iraqi’s hands were tied like his, but it didn’t stop him from getting closer. “I’m… I am so sorry… If I had been more careful, they wouldn’t have…”

“Hey, Sal’… If it wasn’t ya, they would have kidnapped another person. So, let go of your bullshit, okay?”

Salim’s eyes widen in shock, but he finally nodded and fell on his butt, with low eyes and shivering body. A minute or two passed then a smile stretched his lips as he hummed with amusement: “I never thought you could be so… Bossy.”

Jason’s tongue slammed against his teeth, before he nervously asked: “Got a problem with it?”

The older man giggled and answered with a strange light dancing in his eyes: “No… Quite the contrary, if I can be honest.”

Fuck, Jason thought as he felt his cheeks and ears blushing, is he flirtin’ with me right now? Before he could guess an answer, Salim’s grin faded, and worry replaced amusement in his gaze. “I… I just hope they didn’t find Zain…”

“No, don’t worry, I found him!”

“Really?” Salim’s asked as hope shook his whole body. “Is my boy safe?”

“Yeah… Mels and I took him to the garage. The club will protect yer son now.”

A sigh of relief escaped the Iraqi’s mouth as tension left his muscles and shoulders. He seemed to relax at Jason’s side, even though he was still tied in their enemies’ cellar. “When… When my wife left us…” Salim confessed while looking at the cold floor. “I believed I would let myself drowned into sorrow… But Zain was… Zain did everything he could to make my smile, and to make me proud of him. I don’t know what I would have become without him, without my precious son.”

Jason’s heart started racing in his chest as he leaned closer. He touched Salim’s shoulder with his and smile softly. “Ya raised a courageous boy, Salim.”

“Thanks, Jason, I… I wasn’t a good parent, I know, but he… By Allah, he gave me the strength to fight and live for him.”

Just like Mels did for me back then. Jason smiled then Salim put his temples against the biker’s shoulder. “Do you think we’re going to die?” He asked casually, like he wasn’t bother by the idea of dying now.

“No, the club will come for us.”

“Yes but… I don’t…”

“Hey, Salim, listened to me.” Jason glanced at his friend’s round face, took a deep breath to find courage then asked in a hurry: “Did ya ever… Did ya ever ride a bike?”

The older man’s answered with a confused look. “I don’t… No… No, I didn’t.”

“Then, let me say somethin’ to ya… When we’ll get out of here, and we will, I’ll take ya on a lil’ trip. How’s that sound?”

“I…” In the darkness, the ex-junkie saw his friend’s ears flushed. “I thought only old ladies could ride a bike with you…”

“I don’t fuckin’ care. I don’t want a fuckin’ old lady in my life. I just want…”

I just want you. But before he could confess his love, the one that made him craved from Salim’s presence at his side, shooting started echoing upon their head. ‘Must be the Jed and Nick…

He heard Chinese’s mumbling and screaming through the shots, then he recognized Nicky’s voice yelling at the men. A Chinese biker stormed on the cellar, eyes filled with fears as he jumped on Jason’s and put him on his feet. “Jason!” Salim tried to stop their opponent, but the man punched his forehead with his feet and aimed his gun at Jason’s temples. “You’ll get me out of here, and maybe I’ll spare your life.” The sharp voice ran through his mind, made him shivered as he watched over Salim. “’Kay! ‘Kay, I will! But only if ya left Salim alone.”

“Jason, no!”

But the afraid Chinese biker already pulled himself and Jason back to the light. And despite the shooting, his friends and enemies screams, Jason could only hear Salim’s desperate yells for him.

۩๑ ๑۩

More than once, Jason feared the shaking hand of his kidnapper would press the trigger. He felt his heart racing and his nails cutting his palm as they got out of the house. Nick and Jed watched him, guns raised in the Chinese man’s direction, but none of them wanted to risk Jason’s life with a bullet.

The biker was pulled into a car, the man opened the cuff and ordered him to drive them both away. When he gazed at the house, the one he was locked in before, he saw Salim trying to rush after him and his best friend holding the librarian by the shoulders.

He drove for an hour, maybe two, until the man at his side relaxed a little. Then he was violently tossed out of the car by the Chinese. He almost broke a leg, however some god might have watched over him because he only got small cuts and wounds. Nothing deadly.

As the night fell on the big and empty road, Jason walked back for hundred miles. The fatigue viciously whispered to his ear, told him to rest at the side of the road but he kept going. The Chinese biker could return for him after all, he could regret letting him go alive and search for him. He could shoot him like an animal, so Jason hurried himself.

He walked for hours in the cold, until a van appeared on the horizon. From the distance, he recognized Eddie behind the wheel and Nicky at his side. Fuck, they’re here. His friend rushed to him, and Jason collapsed into his arms.

۩๑ ๑۩

Jed took a good care of these Chinese liars. There was a blood bath in the Chinese’s block, but it couldn’t have been otherwise. Many men died, two of their prospects but mostly men of the other club. No one else was hurt in the process, and the new President of the Chinese Motorcycle Club was forced to concede a part of his territory and to pledge allegiance to Jed and his friends.

It was a bitter end, however the club had been put through worst these past few years.

Of course, Jed tried to punish Zain for his stupidity but… Everyone in the club took the boy’s side. And since he proved himself to be brave and fearless, the President finally accepted to made a prospect out of him. There was a long discussion about this, long and punctuated with raising eyebrows and doubtful mouths, but Zain was accepted. He shouldn’t have been able to, since the club’s rules refused immigrants, but an exception couldn’t hurt anyone from time to time.

The boy was so happy, he rushed through the bar owned by Jed and… Well… He kissed Mels in front of the children surrounding the young woman. The President acted like he didn’t see anything, Merwin and Nicky laughed about it, as for Eddie… Eddie just sighed something about being youth and full of needs. As for Jason, he only gave his warning to Zain and Mels. After all, he knew how hard to able his sister was and so he wanted the teenager to be ready for what was coming for him. Mels wouldn’t let go of him, and if Zain broke her heart, she would kick his ass like no one else.

Then Nicky and Jason had a word in private. It wasn’t supposed to be something too serious, but after so many years of friendship and so many nights of hiding the truth, Jason finally gave in. “Nicky, I’ve got… I’ve got somethin’ to tell ya, buddy.” The other man stayed silent, maybe he guessed what his friend wanted to talk about; after all, he seemed to know when his buddy lied and when he told the truth. “Nicky, I’m… I’m gay.”

He feared his friend’s judgment, feared terrible words and a broken friendship. He feared anything but Nicky only smiled, put on hand on his shoulder and hugged him firmly against his own body. “I know, Jason. I know and… Really, I don’t fucking care as long as you are happy.” For the first time in years, Jason allowed his tears to run down his face.

Everything happened so fast, Jason wasn’t able to see Salim before two days. Two days at the end of which, he knocked at his friend’s door, nervous and blushing like a stupid teenager.

The door opened and the librarian eyes goggled at the man in leather. “… Jason?”

“… Yeah… Hm… I…” Before he could excuse himself, Salim grabbed his wrist and pulled him closer. He hugged him, on arm placed around the neck and the other resting against the ex-junkie’s chest. “Jason, I thought… I thought I would never see you again…”

After a moment of bewilderment, Jason embraced him too. “Yeah… Yeah, me too.”

Salim’s beating heart against his, Salim’s spicy fragrance against his nose, Salim’s warm and red lips against his neck, Salim’s body against his; finally.

“Hey…” The biker’s mouth raised in a soft grin. “Yer actin’ like an old lady now.”

“I could become yours, if you asked me.” And when Jason blinked in shock, the Iraqi put his lips on his. He kissed him gently but with an irrepressible passion. His tongue licked the ex-junkie lips and got into his mouth; eager to discover every part of it.

Jason regained his thought and pulled the man even closer. One hand grabbed Salim’s hip and the other held into his shirt. They kissed hungrily, then Salim made them withdrew until his back hit the front door. They both moaned against each other’s mouth, and when their lungs were begging for air, their eyes met.

They laughed, both of them. Then kissed once more, while the moon’s shape stretched in a soft smile.

Jason was the first to let go, suddenly shy and face covered in red. “Fuck… No one ever kissed me like that.”

And Salim nervously answered: “I… I was caught up in the moment…”

They giggled with their nose caressed each other, then Jason confessed with a low voice. “Can I… Can I come in? I ain’t against kissin’ but I would enjoy some privacy.”

The Iraqi smiled then guided him into the entrance. By the time he closed the door, Jason jumped on his lips once more.

And under the mighty moon, the house filled with their moans and whining as they laid in Salim’s bed, both hungry for each other flesh.

۩๑ ๑۩

“Ready, Salim?” Jason gazed at his lover as he put a helmet on his curly hair and adjusted his jacket on his shoulder.

“I… I think, I am.” The librarian looked at the bike, a little bit nervous when Jason invited him to get on behind him. “Please, be kind with this old man… I don’t want to fall.”

“Ya just got to hold on tight, darlin’.” Salim giggled at the pet name, his ears becoming red again. He placed his arm around Jason’s belly and obeyed his sweet advice. “So… Where are you taking me, my dear gentleman in leather clothes?”

“Wherever ya want, darlin’.” The biker felt his lover smile on his back, and the bike started throbbing. Salim’s hands tightened as he whispered softly: “Where I can be your old man forever, Habibi.”

And the bike led his owner and his lover into the far horizon; far away, where Salim could become an old man and Jason could finally love who he liked.

#writing #fanfiction #the dark pictures house of ashes #jason kolchek #salim othman #nick kay #nathan merwin #rachel king #clarice strokes #zain othman #kingkay #jalim #The President of the club is Jed lucan (yes I took him from Life is Strange: True Colors) but I thought he was a good choice #Also motorcycle club from this period were homophobics and some of them racists #or had at least some distrut from others ethnies this is why they organized themselves around with their color skin or origins #I headcanon that Joey hidden his hispanic origin so he could be part of the club #I don't know what to say after all of this #I'm just hoping you liked it #Oooh yeah maybe I will write something about Nicky being pegged by Rachel #And others things with Jason and Salimn #mostly smutty things #Because I grew a kink on motorbike and leather while writing it #GOD DAMN #too many kinks in my body #brothers of anarchy ua

[rebelwrites]

High Confessions

Jax Teller x Reader

Summary: After an accident the morphine makes the reader say things she’s been hiding from her best friend.

Requested By: @beth-winchester21 // Hey hun please could I have number 12 with jax teller where she gets hurt and ends up in hospital and confesses her love for him and also can she be opies younger sister xx with

Prompt: "You're all drugged up. You don't know what you're saying."

Join The TagList Here 💜 // Jax Teller Masterlist

“Mr Teller” the doctor smiled walking out of the room.

“How is she doing?” Jax asked.

“I can only really discuss that with Mr Winston” he nodded.

“I’m listed as her other emergency contact” Jax said getting pissed off that this doctor wouldn’t tell him the situation “Opie, her brother had had to go pick his kids up”

“Well” The doctor said checking your file to see Jax’s name was listed. “In that case then, she is a lucky lady and had someone watching out for her considering she had to be cut out of the car. No life changing injuries but a couple of very bad breaks in her leg and will be on crutches for a while and physio will be required”

“Yeah well we all have our guardian angels” Jax said smiling slightly “can I go in and see her?”

“Of course, just be aware Mr Teller she is on a high dose of morphine at the moment” the doctor nodded before walking off.

Pushing the door open he saw you laid on the bed watching something on your phone.

“Hey trouble” Jax smiled sitting down on the chair next to the bed.

“Hey you” you grinned, pausing the video and turning your attention to him. “Where's Opie? Don’t tell me the dragon got him”

“What” Jax laughed “darlin he is fine, the dragon has gone and he has gone to pick the kids up from school”

“There was a dragon I swear” you pouted “it was all pink and glittery”

“Damn you are on some good morphine” Jax smirked.

“Stop taking the piss out of me” you sulked “I know what I saw”

“Okay okay” Jax chuckled holding his hands up “I believe you”

“Anyway surely the president of Samcro has better things to do than to be by my bedside” you said looking into the blue eyes that made your throat dry up.

“Well when my best friend had a nasty car accident and ends up in hospital the club can wait” He smiled taking your hand and squeezing it “you know you always come before the club”

“You’re just saying that because I’m Opie’s baby sister” you shrugged.

“Now you know that isn’t true” Jax whispered.

You didn’t know how the heart rate monitor wasn’t going crazy with how fast you thought your heart was racing. It was now or never. You needed to tell Jax how you felt before your confidence disappeared.

“Jax” you whispered.

“Yes darlin’” he smiled.

“I’m just going to say this, I’ve liked you for a while now, the way you make me feel is like nothing I have ever felt. I don’t just want to be best friends any more” you said, not making eye contact with him.

Jax was taken back by your statement, he had wanted to hear you say that for a while now, but he knew you were on some strong morphine so he didn’t actually know if it was you or the drug talking.

“Say something please” you mumbled.

“You're all drugged up. You don't know what you're saying." Jax sighed choosing his brain over his heart.

“Yeah maybe you are right” you shrugged trying not to look hurt “maybe it is the drugs talking”

After some silence Jax spoke up again, he needed to get rid of the awkward atmosphere that now laid heavy in the room.

“Come on then trouble scoot over” Jax laughed “choose a movie to watch because I’m not going anywhere today”

“You mean I have you for the whole day” you grinned scrolling through Netflix.

“Yes you do” Jax smiled as you molded into his body the best you could from the wires and cast. “Just don’t put a chick flick on”

“And you say you are my best friend and think I’d put some soppy film on” you laughed “boy we are going for fast and furious”

“How many times have we watched these?” Jax teased.

“Not enough” you giggled hitting play and snuggling into Jax’s side.

Half an hour into the film Jax heard soft snores coming from you, he couldn’t help but smile. He kept thinking about what you said, if only you had said them when you weren't on morphine his reaction would have been different.

The sound of the door opening took his attention away from you.

“Hey bro” Opie smiled sitting on the chair at the side of the bed. “How is she doing?”

“Not too bad, the doctor said she's lucky to only have a badly broken leg considering the state of her car” Jax nodded.

“Pops was probably watching over her” Opie smiled.

“Yeah she probably did” Jax nodded.

“Something is on your mind, what’s up?” Opie asked.

“It’s just something she said earlier, she said she wanted to be more than best friends.” Jax whispered, playing with your hair as you slept on his chest.

“What did you say?” Opie asked, trying to hide that he knew how his sister had felt for a while now. And he also knew how Jax felt.

“I told her it was because she was drugged up” Jax said.

“You are so stupid” Opie laughed “you know the morphine only gave her the confidence to tell you”

“Are you sure?” Jax asked.

“Dude me and her talk more than you think” Opie smirked “so what are you gonna do about it?”

“I don’t know, I might not do anything” Jax sighed. “I don’t want to fuck things up with our friendship”

“Well if you don’t do anything you aren’t allowed to come moaning to me when you see she’s with someone” Opie shrugged.

“Wait she’s seeing someone?” Jax asked.

“Well not as such but I know her and that lad she works with at the cafe are getting pretty close so who knows?” Opie said knowing he was basically poking the fire.

He knew it and so did everyone else. You and Jax were soul mates and were destined to be together.

“Not if I can help it” Jax huffed and he carefully moved your body off his so he could get off the bed.

“Where are you going?” Opie asked.

“Got some things I need to do. I will be back in a bit” Jax said, grabbing his kutte before leaving the room.

As soon as you heard the door shut you open your eyes, you had been awake since Opie got into the room but pretended to still be asleep.

“You little shit” he chuckled “I knew you weren’t asleep”

“Yeah well” you shrugged “and anyway there’s nothing going on between me and Jerry, he’s old enough to be my dad”

“Yeah but Jax doesn’t need to know that sis” Opie winked. “It’s about time you two fucking saw sense and got together”

#Jax teller #jax teller x reader #jax teller oneshot #jax teller imagine #sons of anarchy #sons of anarchy x reader #jax teller fanfiction #sons of anarchy imagine

[deantransgressions2]

a masterlist of misogynistic slurs used by dean winchester

a comprehensive list of every single time dean winchester used a misogynistic slur from s1-15

(i did not include the usages of the phrase ‘son of a bitch’ because if i did this list would have been far too long.)

“That Constance chick, what a bitch!” (1x01)

“Bitch” (1x01)

“Hey, you want some white meat, bitch! I'm right here!” (1x02)

“Oh, I'm gonna hunt that little bitch down.“ (1x12)

“Oh, these locks look like they’re gonna be a bitch.“ (1x15)

“What, were you bitchin’ about me to some chick?” (1x16)

“Hey, Sam? Don’t take this the wrong way, but your girlfriend...is a bitch.” (1x16)

“It's just a basement full of skank-filled jars in some crap farmhouse.“ (1x17)

“Where’s our father, bitch?” (1x21)

“I'm not that into prude chicks anyway.” (2x01)

“Shut your mouth, bitch.” (2x08)

“Bitch” (2x10)

“See, whatever bitch-boy master plan you demons are cooking up? You're not getting Sam.” (2x14)

“How could it get any worse? Some alien made you his bitch.” (2x15)

“Bitch” (2x20)

“Oh come on already. Show your face, you bitch!” (2x22)

“What are you smiling at, you little bitch?” (2x22)

“What are you laughing at, bitch? You're still trapped.” (3x04)

“It's better than rotting in some skank's basement.” (3x04)

“I knew you were an immoral thieving con artist bitch” (3x06)

“That bitch.” (3x07)

“You bitch!” (3x08)

“Blair bitch in the woods.” (3x09)

“And I'm telling you to shut up, bitch.” (3x09)

“You wanna kill me? Get in line bitch.” (3x09)

“Oh, I don't know maybe because he's my brother, you black-eyed skank!” (3x09)

“We're gonna go hunt the bitch down.” (3x10)

“That bitch!” (3x12)

“Well, I really don't care what that bitch thinks and neither should you, so…” (3x14)

“You know, this immortality thing is a bitch.” (3x15)

“But you know what the bitch of the bunch is?” (3x15)

“We're going off of Bela's intel? Now when that bitch breathes, the air comes out crooked.” (3x16)

“Drag me to hell. Kill Sam. And then what? Become queen bitch?” (3x16)

“So that's you, huh? Our slutty little Yoda.” (3x16)

“Come on man, she is the Miss Universe of lying skanks, okay.” (3x16)

“You're some demon's bitch-boy?” (4x01)

“Well, aren't you an obedient little bitch?” (4x04)

“There is no reason for a wicked bitch payback.” (4x07)

“Her friends don’t know where she is. It’s like the bitch popped a broomstick.” (4x07)

“Right. 'Cause as far as you're concerned, the hell-bitch is practically family.” (4x09)

“So far, all you've told me about is a manipulative bitch” (4x09)

“Bitch is a klepto.” (4x11)

“Evil bitches just keep piling out of the Volkswagen.” (4x12)

“One sip of Jesus juice, this evil bitch is gonna be in a world of hurt.” (4x19)

“I am on call. In my car, on my way to murder the bitch.” (4x21)

“Demon bitch is a dealbreaker. You kiss her goodbye, we can go right now.” (4x21)

“It's a lot better than being some stepford bitch in paradise.” (4x22)

“Are you jonesing for another hit of bitch blood or what?” (5x01)

“He turned it right before he made everybody hallucinate and go hellbitch.” (5x02)

“Oh, you're somebody's bitch.” (5x08)

“Oh that's it, I'm gonna deep fry this bitch extra crispy.” (5x09)

“No, or where the bitch is buried” (5x12)

“Adios, bitch!” (5x12)

“No one, just this psycho bitch who likes to boil rabbits.” (5x13)

“So, then, how do we go Pimp of Babylon all over this bitch?” (5x17)

“On a good day, you get to kill a whore.” (5x17)

“We can either take on the devil together, or you lame-ass bitches can eat me.” (5x19)

“God gives you a brand-new, shiny set of wings, and suddenly you're his bitch again.” (5x22)

“A car should drive, not be a little bitch.” (6x02)

“An attention whore.” (6x06)

“BITCH!” (6x09)

“Traffic was a bitch.” (6x10)

“Evil bitch.” (6x10)

“That little bitch is gonna screw us over so fast” (6x10)

“Karma’s a bitch, bitch.” (6x10)

“I'm just trying to make you feel better. Don't be a bitch.” (6x13)

“Oh, crap! I'm a painted whore!” (6x14)

“I mean, we better get some real info on this bitch before we do run into her.” (6x16)

“Who is she, this Eve bitch?” (6x16)

“I'd go so far as ‘bitch.’” (6x17)

“We'll "Star Trek IV" this bitch.” (6x18)

“fat lot of good it does us 'til we find the bitch.” (6x19)

“Oh, you bitch.” (6x19)

“We're not about to sign up for an evil bitch.” (6x19)

“You can go to hell, you black-eyed bitch.” (6x21)

“Death is our bitch.” (7x01)

“you can be pissed all you want, but quit being a bitch.” (7x07)

“ Oh, and it turns out that Kate was just trying to warn people about her evil bitch sister.” (7x07)

“Psychic ghost bitch on a leash.” (7x07)

“That's as far as you go, bitch.” (7x07)

“I think the bitchy mom” (7x14)

“What a bitch.” (7x18)

“I'd have bitch-slapped the hell out of Dick.” (7x20)

“We ganked those bitches once before.” (8x02)

“Or at least some sort of a heart-sucking, possessed, satanic, crack-whore bat.” (8x03)

“you're sulking around like a eunuch in a whorehouse” (8x06)

“Well, you camp here, figure out who whored their soul.” (8x14)

the claws and the teeth and the whole invisibility thing, those bitches can be... real bitches.” (8x14)

“Oh, so you’re Crowley's bitch.” (8x14)

“we get some red-eyed bitch in a trap” (8x14)

“That drive was a bitch.” (8x15)

“whatever shredded your friend and every other black-eyed bitch out there” (8x22)

“so you sit there like a good little bitch.” (8x22)

“Which pretty much means that you're our bitch.” (8x23)

“I would've loved nothing better than to ice that limey bitch.” (9x02)

“You're our bitch.” (9x02)

“Dennis DeYoung's not a punk. He's Mr. Roboto, bitch.” (9x05)

“Can I use it to kill that bitch?” (9x11)

“You had me at kill the bitch.” (9x11)

“Looks like it's a whore's bath for me.“ (9x13)

“I will shoot you... Bitches.” (9x15)

“Okay, this all sounds like sad times at Bitchmont High.” (9x15)

“'Cause I see a couple of fame whores who are pointing their camera at a mom who just lost her kid.” (9x15)

“You loan us that Blade, and we will stop the bitch.” (9x16)

“You bitch about the Men of Letters.” (9x16)

“Can I use it to kill that bitch?” (9x17)

“Look at me. Look at me, bitch!” (9x19)

“Are you ready to gut this bitch?” (9x23)

“Ain't that a bitch?” (9x23)

“The kind of guy who sleeps with every skank in every small-town dive that he passes through?” (10x01)

“Bitch” (10x01)

“Bitch” (10x03)

“Bitch” (10x05)

“Well, this Princess Elsa’s a bitch.” (10x13)

“Did I say ‘nice girl’? I meant ‘evil skank’" (10x17)

“Well, they let her leave the house looking like a whore.” (10x23)

“No wonder she put on that skank outfit and went out there looking for validation” (10x23)

“Night, bitch.“ (11x04)

“We’ve been hunting that bitch for weeks.” (11x05)

“Listen, bitch. I don't care who you are, I don't care what you want. You have my brother.” (12x01)

“Well, family drama's a bitch, ain't it?” (12x05)

“Straight Shawshank this bitch.“ (12x22)

“Bitch” (12x22)

“Ooh. Ouch. Breakups can be a bitch.” (13x06)

“That bitch set us up“ (15x13)

 “Oh, wow. Somebody’s shopping at Abercrombie and Bitch.” (15x14)

“Alright, well, you guys go "Highway to Heaven" that bitch.“ (15x15)

#and scene. #dean winchester #spn #spn critical #supernatural critical #anti dean winchester #dean critical #dean negative #masterlists

[kpopchangedme]

Sun-drenched [M] - Youngjae

Every time you opened your mouth something outrageous came out but unfortunately, your new dorky step-brother seemed to be immune. You couldn’t tell if Youngjae was actually that clueless or if your reputation preceded you. 

Protagonists: Choi Youngjae & You

Word Count: 4.6k

Genre: NSFW - Cringe Fest - Smut - slight exhibitionism - f*ckgirl - Stepbrother!au || [One Shot]

[The Pleasure Chest: A Cringe Fest]

GOT7 | M.list

Your mother was doing that thing with her hair again, slightly shaking her head every time her new beau spoke. Every single bob invariably made her blonde curls spring. How disgusting. You had asked to be bleached once, a few years ago, and she had the audacity to claim it would look cheap on you. So unfair. 

She hadn't met her fourth husband for more than 6 months before she did just that. She thought it made her look younger, but Miami-midlife-crisis was more like it. It wasn't pretty wheat blonde, it was white yellow-ish banana buttercream. On-sale daffodil... Much like the sad ones Youngnam had gotten her from the convenience store yesterday.  They were now awaiting certain death in a crystal vase husband-number-two had gotten her for God knows what occasion.

You rolled your eyes when your latest stepfather started going over safety rules again. At your dad's there was never a need for them and if you correctly remembered the last time you had lived with your mom... You smiled, imagining how Dr. Top Surgeon would react if he found out his perfect church-going wife used to pop pills like candy and store a very impressive bong in the third drawer of her kitchen.

That would make for a fun scene. 

The goodbyes seemed to stretch half an eternity in the living room, after which you got dragged to the hall where the speech began all over again. Your mom gave you a short hug, more of a shoulder squeeze, then she pulled back and frowned with intent as much as her botox allowed. You shrugged off her silent don't-screw-this-up warning, already waving goodbye to her husband. Shoo shoo, you thought, sending the adults off to a far far away location. 

As soon as the door shut behind, you squealed in excitement. 

Summer had officially begun! 

Moving half across the country to fake “house sit” their new place while they honeymooned in Boca wasn't exactly what you had scheduled for your vacations. But when Youngnam accidentally let the words infinity pool and cars – as in with an S – slip out during the weekly video call, not even the dread on your mother’s face could’ve deterred you from flying over. 

As it turns out, Dr. Choi was loaded. 

Something you probably would’ve figured out earlier if you’d bothered showing up for the ceremony at all. Unfortunately, the wedding hadn't matched your Spring Break’ schedule and you decided having been present to the many previous ceremonies should be considered enough daughterly care for a lifetime. 

As you bent to the freezer for a celebratory parent-free popsicle, you felt the eyes of that gift-that-came-with-the-house glued to your ass. He briefly glanced down at the flash of your stomach’s skin when you jumped to sit on the counter. 

Surprisingly enough, your mother’s many rings had never once come with a step-brother before...

Usually, she went for the bachelor or womanizer types and those had the decency to never have baggage. Dr. Choi was a break of pattern and the news came with complete horror on your part.

For as long as you could, you had made a duty of never meeting his son, pretended he didn't even exist. So when the bubbly blended trio came to pick you up at the airport yesterday, you had been shocked.

They had said soloist of the local Choir and you’d heard; loser. Piano lessons? Dork. All-boys school graduate? Stuck-up. Computer Science Major? Nerd alert.

No one had talked about… That.

As a matter of fact, Choi Youngjae himself had not spoken much either, but he was certainly looking... 

And there were few things you enjoyed more than having a man's undivided attention.

Standing in the middle of the kitchen in all his glory, your new step-brother was staring, as usual, watching intently as you sucked your popsicle. You made sure to make a show of it.

“So… What about lunch?” He finally asked even though it was barely 9. Just to rattle him you hummed on the sugary treat as a reply. Mission accomplished. “S-Should I order pizza?”

“Don't worry, I’m easy...” Youngjae’s gaze fluttered down to your belly ring again. Boy, if he liked that one he had a few things coming. “I’ll eat anything if it's on you.”

Gaze widening, he pretended to look at something over in the living room and walked away.

Wait no, the poor guy literally bolted out of the kitchen to escape to safety. So fast one could wonder if this whole first exchange was the fruit of your devious imagination.

Oh no, you had just traumatized your babyish step-bro.

It made sense, you were one scary bitch.

All-boys school graduate? Virgin, you mentally took note. 

Or perhaps your mom had said something about you devouring the souls of poor innocent men. They said the apple never fell far from the tree. Grinning like a shark, you discarded the melting popsicle in the trash.

This promised to be one Hell of a summer break. 

______________________

“It’s been more than 10 minutes...” Chimlin flipped the phone over to yell unintelligibly at her demonic baby twin sisters. Despite the protection, you winced. “No DMs.”

“Then he hasn’t seen it yet.” Artlessly reporting for BFF’ duty was a lot more fun face to face, but for a few months, video calls would have to do. “Trust me.”

“I don't know,” she whined, going on all over again about how her boyfriend hadn’t picked up the phone since their nightly routine fight of yesterday. 

Sometimes you wondered if you’d even follow her back on Insta if you met this current sad version of herself. Kinda hard to tell, but she used to be the coolest baddest chick on campus. Then she was partnered with that Italian exchange student for a Statistic class, disgustingly dripping pheromones, cash and European pizzazz. Yes, Statistics. The most boring course ever, let's be real. But Chimlin was a genius, the deadly hot kind. No matter how shit-faced she was, that girl could track the B-52s and Gin Tonics’ calorie count of each respective member of your girl squad, not that she'd ever had to care herself.

Then Massimo came. At first, he was just a casual hook-up, but he managed to worm his way into her brain and grew there like a tumour. By the end of last semester, they were full-on steady-going together like in cringy 90s rom-coms. He was always stuck to her like a parasite.

Gone was your favourite 4 feet 11 party animal.

“Do you have any idea how many bitches Mas could meet this summer?”

You snorted, “Not even close to the number of dicks you could have in Pattaya if you wanted to.”

“Phatthaya,” she corrected automatically with a dramatic eye-roll. “That’s the thing, I don't want to. I only want one dick and he's miles away.” She waved her hand to brush it off right as your mouth opened in protest.

Her Italian barnacle did want to remain with her on campus for summer, but Chimlin thought she had better plans that involved a lot more beaches and fruity drinks. She simply couldn't live with her own poor life choices now and you were just about to tell her so when a flash of skin on the screen distracted you.  

“What else have you been hiding?” You sing-sang, impressed by the view. 

She glanced over her shoulder, “That's my uncle. Like... He’s literally my mom’s lil’ brother. Gross.”

“I know what an uncle is and that's a very hot one if I’ve ever seen one. You can look.”

“We’re not all depraved sluts like you.” She only half-teased with a sharp laugh. “How's the cute new brother doing, by the way?”

“No idea.” You flipped the camera and zoomed on Youngjae's bedroom window like to prove a point. The curtains were drawn, concealing anything worth mentioning from view. You were lounging by the pool on one of those fancy long chairs, much as you had been for the past week. Margarita, sunscreen, repeat. If this boring routine went on, you’d be so tanned by the end of summer no one on campus would recognize you. Sometimes you did think Youngjae's curtains were wobbling, maybe he was spying on you but it could all be your imagination. “Typical. He's been in hiding from me since day one.”

“I don't blame him.”

“Don't blame me for wanting him either. He's a good boy in a bad boy’s body.”

“I don't even know what that means...”

“No one does. But he's not cute, he's hot. I need him all over me and I've been telling him so, but he's strangely elusive. I think he hits the gym above the grocery store on the corner, I should join.”

“Stalker.”

“I don’t stalk, I live in his house.”

“No wonder the poor guy doesn't go out of that room, I bet he picked up on all your slutty energy.” In the rectangle screen, Chimlin switched to tan the other side and you did the same, laying on your back.

“Ha ha. He'd have to be moronic not to,” you were holding the phone above, casting a partial shadow on your face.

“Your legend precedes you. He's scared you're gonna trap and fuck him.”

“What else am I supposed to do when you've abandoned me and flew to the other side of the world? You know I need a summer project.”

“And of course, it had to be a guy.”

You were so glad she stopped whining about Mas for a minute that you let that one slide. “Well, I am not a needlepoint kind-of-girl.”

“Right, hey maybe it isn’t the incest that’s creeping your brother out. Maybe he's gay.”

Someone snorted out loud at that – not you – and you sat up in alarm.

Two guys were standing by the edge of the pool.

“No, he's not,” said the one on the left, a smile in his voice. They were directly in your sun, so you had trouble making out their features. One silhouette was slightly slumped, the other tall and all limbs. You suddenly felt very exposed, dropping Chimlin to fasten your bikini top in a hurry. This show wasn't for strangers to enjoy.

“Who are you?” The second man asked, clearly lost.

“She's it,” the other echoed.

“Who are you? I live here.”

“We're your brother's social life,” the frisky one smiled largely, kind of in a dangerous way that you immediately recognized for your own. Friends, they were Youngjae's friends and they very clearly overheard your embarrassing banter with Chimlin.

Flushing – a rare occurrence – you brought a hand to shield your eyes from the sun while you corrected; “Step-br–”

A sharp voice cut in, “She's not my sister.”

Behind, Youngjae was standing awkwardly by the patio door, a stern look on his face. He didn't seem surprised his people were there. He didn't even glance in your direction before disappearing back as you blankly stared after him. 

“Well, thank fuck,” the you-guy turned to wink, following him inside. “Good luck with your summer project! I’ll root for you!”

In a daze, you picked your phone back up. Chimlin was still there, waiting dilligently to be briefed on what just transpired. You puffed your cheeks, mentally preparing for what was to come.

______________________

Swear to God, Youngjae had not come out of that room for two days.

Two.

Fricking.

Days.

Maybe he had a fridge in there.

Maybe he only came to life after midnight like a vampire to avoid the whore squatting his dad’s house. 

Whatever his annoying friends told him had certainly made a lasting impression. You just hoped he wasn't the type to go cry to parents whenever something happened. You had no intention of going back to your tiny dorm all alone and sad for the summer just because you hurt his feelings by finding him bangable. Or worse, at your father's.

What was he even thinking?

You had not done anything wrong. Pushed a bad joke a little bit too far perhaps, nothing to get all worked up about. No reason to get shunned out of your mother's life again. 

Youngjae's reaction, or lack thereof, was way out of line.

It's not like you had actually done anything to him. He was such a prude. A prude that eye-fucked you all the time!

Church baby boys were the worst.

What an ass.

.

.

.

Three days?!

Three days of an overly empty house. The atmosphere had gotten so heavy, the air so tense you couldn't even think about anything else. There was nothing left to do. Just sit on the couch inside or by that dumb infinity pool, starring at the drawn curtains of your step-brother's bedroom. They weren't wobbling anymore.

Which was what you were actively doing this afternoon, ruminating your dark thoughts for hours. You didn't even notice you were getting dangerously warmer. When your timer went off, announcing it was sunscreen time again you nearly fell from your chair. 

Doing the legs was the easiest part, your favourite to be honest. They were one hell of an asset of yours. You were massaging the thick lotion on your right calf when something at the corner of your eye caught your attention. 

For a heartbeat or two, you thought you were hallucinating. 

Youngjae had finally reappeared. 

He was standing at the end of the pool, a knapsack thrown over his shoulders. His thumbs were hooked in the straps, hands dangling to his sides like dead weights. If he looked like a young boy at first glance, the heated look on his face was one of a man.

Frozen still, you gulped. True to form, he kept staring for a long moment before turning to the house and you thought he was about to go into hiding again – but oh no, fuck – he was actually pacing towards you. 

“I’m back.” Youngjae blurted out awkwardly, mouth twisted. 

Yours was opened in a mix of disbelief and shock. He was actually addressing you. “Back?” From where the corner store?

“Yes,” his eyes ghosted over your poor excuse of a bikini before anchoring themself back to safety in yours. Again, horny eyes. If you were warm earlier, now you were burning up. “I thought it'd be better if I stayed away at Bam's for a few days…”

Right? No one could actually stay between four walls so dilligently. It made sense. You were so dumb.

Apparently, your confusion was evident. “Didn’t you notice I was gone?” No, you had not. So your step-brother was so freaked out being around you that he actually moved out for a few days. Had you gotten that bad? Jesus. “Anyway, I’m back home with you now.” 

Youngjae took a step closer, kindly getting in your light so you'd stop squinting at him. He looked even hotter in the bright light of day, sweat pearled between your breasts. He frowned and bit his lower lip waiting for a reaction. The things you'd do to that perfectly proper mouth. 

Of course, what came out of yours at the moment was less than appropriate. He was right to be scared, you weren't safe at all.

“Wanna do me?”

Yes, you were that bad. Terrible indeed.

“Do I-I,” he gasped for air – oops, “w-what?”

“My back,” you clarified smiling like a prisoner that hadn't been fed a good meal in days, “sunscreen.” The poor man should've stayed far far away from you. 

You weren’t crazy or desperate, but you couldn't resist. You had been patient and unusually upright so far. You deserved a treat. You were hungry and you knew your step-brother wanted you too, he wouldn't have felt the need to hide away otherwise. Youngjae had an interesting duality, shamelessly thirsting over you one minute and getting flustered and embarrassed the next. He must have been deeply unsettled by your open invitation because before you could flip over, he had claimed possession of the bottle. 

Or maybe he just didn't need to be asked twice this time. He knew. He wanted to give in to temptation. Why would he even come back here otherwise? 

Laying down, you reached to undo the bikini strings, pressing your loosely covered chest against the rough towel on the chair. You waited.

“You must really hate tan lines,” Youngjae said in your back, sounding tormented, “it seems you're never properly wearing clothes.” He sat down in slow motion like an obedient little boy as you grinned. 

“Are you ever gonna put your hands on me?” You teased once more, it was like a string was tugging up your insides through that dirty mouth of yours. You wanted to keep pushing him, wanted to find out what it'd take to make him break. And just fuck you really. It was fighting the inevitable by now. 

Every guy you met wanted to have you.

Usually, you didn't have to beg.

“I'm trying not to,” he admitted the obvious. “I promised I would never touch you,” Youngjae grumbled and you jerked in surprise when lotion spurted on your lower back. “Promised my father I’d treat you well.”

It made sense, a good boy would never disobey and do his dirty step-sister. If your legend preceded you, his golden son’s reputation certainly did too. Honestly, this promise made the taunting easier and even more tempting. It made for a funnier challenge and the spark in Youngjae's eyes when he looked at you hinted you could break him if you really tried.

You were about to defy his ethics again when words went back down your throat, letting way to a sharp sigh. He had suddenly fully committed to applying your sunscreen, fingers exploring your skin. You asked to be touched and he had risen to the occasion, firmly rubbing the lotion on your naked back. 

Earlier you had every intention of teasing him further by enjoying this a little too much, but you weren’t sure it was entirely voluntary when the first moan escaped. If he wanted to keep it PG, he probably should’ve stopped right there, but it didn't seem to deter your step-brother. He kept going, massaging you along the way. His thumbs traced circles up your spine until one of his palms cupped your nape. 

Perhaps this is what an erotic massage was supposed to feel like, heaven. Every stroke was totally appropriate, very perfect boy-ish, but still, your toes were curling. After a few minutes, Youngjae's breathing was heavy, he was enjoying this impromptu contact just as much.

You both had made yourselves obvious these past weeks; him with the eye-fucking, you with the open-truths. Clearly, the forbidden nature of your desires would make for an even more intense experience. You couldn't even imagine how it'd feel to take it further now. 

“I've never had a step-brother before,” you mewled, mentally following the downwards path of his hands.

“I bet you love messing with me,” he replied, barely audible. 

His pianist’s fingers were now haltingly sliding up your ribcage. He wasn't rubbing in anything anymore, just caressing all he could reach. 

He was right, but you wanted more. That was the sexiest thing that happened to you in forever. Having a guy want you bad enough he had to hide away to resit, and now having his hands on you. You wanted him everywhere, all over. You didn’t care; step-brother promises or not.

Giving in to temptation, you turned around, resting on your elbow. Your untied bikini had not followed so you watched as his face fell in realization. Youngjae's mouth opened in awe, eyes glued to your bare perky breasts. At the moment, there was absolutely nothing going on in that male brain of his. He didn’t move; you helped.

As soon as you put one of his hands on your chest, he came back to life. 

“Jesusfuck,” he breathed out, completely winded.

Wow.

Church baby boys were the best.

Entertained, you reached for the sunscreen, pouring lotion on yourself again. “You aren't done.”

“I…” Youngjae swallowed back his protests, cupping your boobs with both hands. He couldn't even look up anymore, enthralled by your nakedness.

No matter what their intentions were, it seemed good guys were still guys after all. If you had known he was this easy to overwhelm, you would’ve walked around topless sooner.

“The neighbours will see us...”

He didn't seem to mind that much, seeing as his thumbs were stroking your pierced nipples relentlessly. If those middle-aged housewives you only caught glimpses off looked over the edge now, they’d have a pretty impressive show. 

“Let them,” sitting, you snaked a hand to his dramatic bulge. Your mouths got so close you felt his breath ghost over. Beaten by your expertise, his shorts’ button came undone first, his fly was even more compliant. 

The moment of truth.

Youngjae's whole body shook when you took his cock in your palm. There was no hesitation, no second-guessing. Fuck, he was so hard and flushed for you. He pinched your erected nipples in response and you felt a familiar vivid jolt of pleasure and pain down to your toes. Not a virgin, after all, no doubt he would handle you just fine. 

You pressed your mouth to his neck and sucked, right where his Adam's apple bobbed.

That's it, all for you. You were so going to eat up that good boy.

“Mmmm, I’ll tell daddy you’re treating me so fucking well...”

Of all the filthy things you had said so far, this was the one that got the strongest reaction. The wrong one. Youngjae jerked up to his feet, tugging at his shorts in panic. He swore a dozen of times, out of his mind as you stood there, frozen still.

“Sorry,” he offered at last, pitiful before running for his life to the house. 

Fuck.

No.

Surely you were feverish. 

Having a heatstroke.

You had imagined the whole thing.

You had not just being left out cold by a man.

This type of shit never happened to girls like you. 

It took a few minutes to gather back your thoughts and when you did, you decided this wasn't even close to completion.

Without wasting a second more you stormed inside the house, almost flying upstairs to that mythical off-limits bedroom of his. You didn't bother banging, he was in such a hurry he forgot to lock behind, so the door flew open. 

Like a scene straight up from a bad porno, Youngjae spun on his computer chair, a hand still wrapped around his fully erected dick. You couldn't believe your eyes.

“Are you jerking off?” He was already pulling up his shorts again to cover himself, caught red-handed, blushing as though you hadn't been doing it yourself a moment ago.

“I’m sorry, I don't think you–”

“Please don't stop on my behalf,” you waltzed in, confident, and sat on his well-made good boy's bed.

“W-What?” Youngjae blinked, even more, rattled by the sight. 

He didn't leave because he didn't want you, he clearly did. He probably only left because of his father and that dumb promise he mentioned.

“Is this how you've been dealing all along?” You laid back on the comforter, smirking and remembering all those afternoons by the pool you’d thought you’d seen his curtains fall. He certainly enjoyed spying so it gave you an idea. He could try to resist you all he wanted, you'd still made him cave. “You don't want to touch me, right?” Your step-brother nodded, spellbound. “Because you're the perfect son.”

He swallowed hard, “But you keep… Saying those things, sunbathing… And to my friends...”

“Yes, you’re right... So let's start over.” You sighed in fake contrition, “I'm sorry, I've made this so hard for you. I’ll be good too from now on.”

Youngjae scoffed in disbelief, “You are sitting topless on my bed.”

“Oh,” looking down at yourself, you cupped your breasts. “I thought you liked the looking.” His cock was standing up, glorious testimony to this mess. “Don't worry, I get it. I promise I won’t let you touch me...” Throwing your head back without breaking eye contact, you moaned and lightly twisted one of your pierced nipples. “But I’ll make you watch...” Out of his mind, Youngjae did just that as you caressed your own chest for him. Somehow his eyes on you now burned even better than his hands earlier. 

You were so turned on, so worked up by all the days of teasing and loneliness. Your hips started swaying on his bed, craving some fiction and release. 

“You're crazy,” his voice was laboured but he had yet to escape again. This time you wouldn't have followed.

“I-I'm so wet, Youngjae...” Giving in, your right hand fell to your sex, rubbing your last piece of clothing. He was captivated. 

“Fuck it,” he immediately breathed out in surrender, hand wrapping around his dick. That was it, you finally had him. He was all in, playing along with your new favourite family game.

No touching, just innovative teamwork.

You had to establish ground rules, but pushing them was what fun was all about.

“I want you so bad...” You mewled, slipping your middle finger inside your bikini bottom.

Stroking himself, Youngjae groaned, “So you’ve been saying baby, but now you have to show me.”

Oh shit. You were going to come so fast if the golden son had other surprises like that. In a hurry, you wormed out of your panties before he could change his mind once more. In front of his fully clothed self, you laid back, touching your damp slit while he observed intently. The whole experience was surreal, your mind was buzzing, overwhelmed by the wrongness of it all.

It felt so amazing though.

Touching yourself for your step-brother was the sexiest thing you’d ever experienced, and you were very accomplished. You would’ve done anything he'd asked of you, and Youngjae knew that but he abided by his dumb rules. Standing up he came closer, boxer messily shoved down from his earlier haste, one hand was in his hair, the other working hard. You kept rubbing your clit repeatedly letting him see, hastening the pace until you were numb all over, panting. 

“Youngj-jae, I-I–”

Moaning, you broke faster than you had ever with someone, then again no one knew how to make you reach your own high better than yourself. Paroxysm made your thighs jerked as the pleasure waved through you, annihilating all sense of your surroundings.

When you came back, your step-brother was giving up too, bursting in thick spurts of hot cum all over your body and chest. His eyes were wide opened in black elation, intense, not missing a second of the show as he came on you. His whitish-gray seed painted your bareness in ribbons until he was completely emptied.

In silence, Youngjae dropped next to you on the bed, hands covering his face as you both caught your breaths. His now softening dick was still protruding out of his shorts and underwear for the world to see. It probably made for quite a view; your naked body covered in semen right by your respectable step-brother’s way more humble cock.

If your parents came home early, they would both have a stroke.

Youngjae sort of kept his word though... For today at least. 

Because now that you had him all over, you knew you were going to crave him under you.

And no man had ever resisted your charms before.

Step-brother or not.

[The Pleasure Chest: A Cringe Fest]

GOT7 | M.list

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