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t3kandson · 9 months

Text

Family’s at Friction

Word count; 8,977

Fandom; The Boyz

Pairing; Kim Younghoon X Reader

Character; Kim Younghoon, Ju Haknyeon, Kim Sunwoo, Son Youngjae, Lee Hyunjae, Bae Jacob, Moon Kevin, Lee Sangyeon, Lee Juyeon Choi Chanhee & Ji Changmin

Warning; Angst, Guns, Robbery, Hostage, Violence (not by any TBZ characters), Oral (receiving), body marking & Unprotected sex

Notes; Happy Birthday Younghoon

Taglist; @ilovechanhee

“My son Isn’t home often, but I need to go back home, his grandfather is getting lonely without me,” Mrs Kim smiled your way. “Well I can wait till he’s home in the evenings and then leave,” you said as her appearance got brighter. “Or I could offer you a room in the house and you could reside here,” she said as you looked to the table between you. “I have a daughter I can’t leave her behind,” you admitted expecting the job to be removed. “How old is she?” Mrs Kim asked. “She’s 8,” you said looking at her with hope for the job to remain. “Who will look after her while you’re here?” she query’s as she smiles back your way. “My mother, she collects her from school and takes her home till I arrive, sleeping over if she has to. She’s a widow so there’s no one at home to miss her,” you say as Mrs Kim nods. “Well seems a good arrangement to me,” she smiles offering you her hand. “The jobs yours,” she says as excitement fills you. “Thanks Mrs Kim,” you said smiling

The first week Mrs Kim stayed in the home. Due to her son working hard on a project that he wouldn’t be home for the week. That time had gone well, you had established a good teacher pupil relationship with Youngil. He was 12 and a very intelligent young man, thriving to learn everything that could teach him and you honestly couldn’t have asked for a better pupil. However, you felt for the poor child. His mother had left the family home, affairs by the dozen. Choosing money from the divorce over her own son. He felt abandoned by his mother but also felt unwanted by his father also. Kim Younghoon, had taken solace in his marital break up by working extra hard in his company. You couldn’t help but add your motherly touch, making sure Youngil ate well during the dinners Mrs Kim encouraged you to join before leaving. But also making sure he kept healthy with his vitamins.

The first time you met Younghoon, you instantly didn’t like him. Holding your hand for him to shake but he coldly walked past. “You can leave now,” he grumbled placing his coat to grab yours to shake your way. Each day he greeted you this way as you kept your head down.

“Don’t leave yet we need to talk,” he growled placing his coat a couple weeks later. “Follow me,” he demanded walking off into a room you had realised was his private living quarters. Following, your eyes noticed the large sways of alcohol in the glass cabinets, all prettily displayed. Walking to the desk he sat in his chair looking up to you with his usual expression of arrogance. “Can I ask you your credentials?” He asked filling his crystal glass with whisky. “Pardon?” You said looking at him with confusion. “I would like to know what credentials you have to assess if your actually qualified for my sons needs,” he said rather sharply looking up at you with annoyance. “Your mother vetted me,” you looked at him confused with his request. “She vetted you as a teacher yes, but I would like to know your credentials as a psychiatrist,” he said taking a swig of his liqueur. “I don’t have any,” you replied looking at him puzzled. “Well could you explain why you seem fit to discuss his personal life?” Younghoon said with a slight growl in his tone. “What do you mean?” You questioned feeling annoyed with his accusations. “Well I pay you to teach my son well. Instead your offering advice to his apparent woes,” Younghoon accused as your eyes widened. “Your son mentioned something that worried him. As a teacher who knows a clear mindset improves their work I listened,” you scoffed arms folded as his eyes widened to your own tone. “But you gave your own opinion to Manipulate him into emotions he doesn’t actually have,” Younghoon said raising his voice to match yours. “That’s poppycock, just because you don’t have time for your son, don’t presume he doesn’t have the emotions he clearly does. If he’s telling you then it’s to express himself,” you said as his jaw tightened. “Well he never expressed it before you was employed as his teacher,” Younghoon growled. “Maybe if you gave your son the time of day he would have expressed that,” you said slamming your hand onto the desk startling him. “I think it’s best you leave,” he said bitterly slouching into his chair. “Goodnight,” you said spinning on your heel. “For good,” he added as you spun back to face him. Walking towards him his eyes differed with fear. “Good now I can really express myself. Your son is failing because of you. Your too selfish to hide from your pain, punishing your son for something his mother did twice off. Not just for cheating but taking your money and leaving. You’ve made that boy feel unwelcome and placed him in so much pain he can’t focus. Ignore me all you like but if you don’t put his emotional needs first then you won’t have a son to brag about at your regular golfing events,” you snap watching his words get stuck in his throat. “Now if you don’t mind I have a daughter that I love dearly who needs her mothers attention,” you add spinning back around to leave him dumbfounded.

It had been a week and things had fallen apart. Your argument with Kim Younghoon had left you without your wages you had rightly earned the last month. You had already fallen behind terribly before the job let alone now. The final demand came through the door as you held it shakily. You had till this evening to At least supply one months rent or you would be evicted. Tears fell from your eyes as you fell to the floor sobbing. What was you going to tell Yoona? Where was you even going to go?

When the door opened you had expected it to be your mother and daughter. But to your horror it was Younghoon, witnessing your complete breakdown. “Y/N,” he coo’d coming to you as he sat beside you. “What’s happened?” He asks as you sobbed even louder instead of replying. His arms wrapped around you like this was a different person you had experienced before. He held you tightly as you sobbed not caring that tears was beginning to fall on his expensive Gucci jacket. “So now you’ve sobbed the entire sea are you going to tell me what’s happened to create such a dam break?” He said rubbing your shoulder. “It doesn’t matter, it’s something I need to fix somehow,” you said pushing yourself out his hold. “Can I help?” He asks as you stand to your feet watching him follow. “You’ve done enough not paying me the months work I’ve done,” you said bitterly as you wiped your eyes. “Yeah about that,” he said with guilt in his expression. “What?” You snapped making his jaw tighten. “What issues do you have? Why do you feel the need to snap,” he growls folding his arms. “What’s your credentials as a psychiatrist?” You hit back at him. Instead of a snarky come back he stifles a laugh instead. “Hitting me with my own words are we?” He said amused. “Look I think we’ve got off on the wrong foot,” he said as you deadpanned his way. “No your an ass,” you said earning a brighter smile. “Fine I’m am ass, who thanks to you was dished some food to really think about,” he said smiling more Warmer then you experienced before. “Is this an apology,” you said tilting your head his way. “Well yes it is,” he said accepting responsibility. “Can I get that in writing?” You said arms folded. He looked around the room in sight for some paper as he made his way for it. “Fine if I have to,” he said picking up the letter in his hand. “Don’t worry,” you said as you panicked realising he was holding your eviction letter. As you attempted to swipe the document, he pulled it out your reach his eyes bulging as he read it. “This is my fault,” he said sorrowfully as you snatched it out his palm. “Yes, yes it is,” you growled taking it and throwing it on the side behind you. “Right I will sort it,” he smiled as you felt his words lift your worry’s. “You need to pay them my months wage to them,” you said more calmer as he picked up the letter once more, then his phone. “Hi I’m the employee of Mrs Y/N, I was wondering if I could pay a month off her backlogged rent,” he said in a professional tone. “How much?” He gasped. “For this shitty apartment,” he growled. “Sod that,” he snapped hanging up on the phone. “What did you say that for?” You said closing your eyes briefly. “Your months wage wouldn’t even cover that,” he scoffed as you breathed in deeply. “It’s 3 million won you owe me 4,” you said annoyed. “Funny that, they’ve asked for 5 million,” he said making your eyebrows furrowed. Picking your phone up you dialled your landlord. “Hi it’s Mrs Y/N, my former employer rang moments ago to pay my one month of rent as demanded in your eviction threat,” you said pausing as the female voice hit your ears. “Ahh yes, he refused saying he wouldn’t pay 5 million won,” she said down the phone. “But my rent is 3 million,” you questioned as Younghoon expression slightly showed a smirk. “We’ve decided to up the rent so to stop the eviction it will have to be 5 million won,” she said as your hands fell to your face, tears threatening to fall once more. “It’s ok I will arrange something,” Younghoon said down the phone he snatched from your hands. “The keys will be in the door once she’s moved this evening,” he growled hanging up. “What did you do?” You cried grabbing the phone. “Your not going to save this situation Y/N, your waste your time and breath trying,” he said placing his hand over your shoulder. “But where am I going to go, me and my daughter are going to be homeless,” you whispered as he looked at you with concern. “What are you going to do Y/N? Beg with every inch of your life?” He said sarcastically. “Yes if I have to,” you whined feeling defeated.

“Well good thing I’m here,” he said smiling at you. “I’ve come to offer you your job back. Youngil’s been quite hesitant to have another teacher. He demands you, so you can have your job back. I will even give you more financial support,” he said smiling. “Good then can I have a sub to get my rent paid,” you pleaded happily accepting your job back. “Oh the increase isn’t in money it’s still 4 million,” he said with his smirk returning to your confusion. “I have two spare rooms, you could move in with your daughter,” he said as you looked at him confused. “Two bedrooms, meals included, no bills and 4 million wons a month,” he said arms folded excited for your reply. It was like your brain froze in that second unable to process what he was promising. “But what do you get extra of?” You questioned as he chuckled. “To be the Nanny when I’m late from work, and I suppose his new psychiatrist,” he teases as you roll your eyes. “However, I must add time is of the essence,” he added looking at the clock just three hours left to unpack. “Fine, thank you,” you said offering him a smile. “Good now you can save my ear from my son’s emotional blackmail,” he added dramatically. “Maybe I should make you wait,” you said playfully. “Ok then maybe I should withdraw my offer,” he teased that made your eyes widen. “No, no need,” you said holding your hand in fear watching him chuckle. Had you read him the wrong way before hand? Had work and stress altered his moods when you found him. Because the man stood in your kitchen wasn’t the same man that you met at his lavish home.

Younghoon and Youngil was waiting patiently when you & Yoona arrived. Comforting your only child you was amazed at the sudden change in Younghoon’s character. Bending down to your daughter size, he brushed Yoona’s stray hair behind her ear in a comforting way. “It’s ok they’re is nothing to be scared about here, I promise,” he said softly as her hug tightened around your waist. “This is your home now,” he said looking somewhat excited himself. “We even have a games room,” Youngil said in an effort to help comfort her. “I can show you if you want?” He asked holding out his hand. Yoona shyly looked your way as you nodded reassuringly before looking the elder boys way. Taking his hand they dash away to the house as Younghoon looked contented. “Your good with her,” you complimented as he chuckled. “You sound as if your surprised,” he said smirking. “Well if I can be honest,”, “that you can,” he cut you off. “That your acting different,” you said bracing for his reaction. “Maybe you just didn’t look properly, you heard Youngil’s complaints and made your painting. Yes I’ve made mistakes a load of them. But I love that boy with every breath,” he added smiling your way. “However, your correct i showed you a bad side of myself. I saw a young attractive girl who I feared was trying to use my son to date me,” he added as you tilted your head his way. “My wife was like that, very manipulative, she didn’t want me she wanted money and she took it to the men she cheated on me with,” he said looking pained. “Sorry to hear that,” you said as he pursed his lips. “What about Yoona’s father?” He asked as your own past burned. “He left me when I fell pregnant,” you said biting your lips as you looked to the floor. “So you never married him?” He gasped as you closed your eyes. Being an single unmarried mother brought you so much awful looks in the past. You didn’t know why you slipped this information with someone so upper class. Breathing in deep you prepared for the disgust to fall from his lips. “So you had to provide all alone by yourself?” Younghoon quizzed as you nodded. “That’s awful, but you’ve worked so hard you should be so proud,” he said holding on to your arms. “Thank you,” you said appreciating his comforting words. “What do you fancy for tea,” he said stepping into the house. “Anything, me and Yoona’s not fussed,” you said as he smiled. “Well let’s go out for a meal, it’s the first night of you both being here,” he said excitedly. “You don’t need to,” you said bashfully. “I’m your boss it’s my orders,” he said smirking your way. “Fine,” you said rolling your eyes.

The house had become very family like, you made breakfast for Youngil & Yoona while preparing Younghoon’s packed lunch every morning. Dropping the children to their school you dropped off Younghoon’s lunch before returning back to the house. Evening meals you cooked normally with both the children helping before you set some tutorial work. Meals in the evening normally spent like a family before a movie or two. To an outsider you looked like a family. Younghoon doting on Yoona just as much as his own son. Both the children was dearly sweet, Youngil acting very brother like. Some weekends the four of you would walk in the natural reserves or enjoying fishing on Younghoon’s yacht.

However, everything started to feel different not long after. You had already smiled at the very like couple act you was currently experiencing. Watching him dry up the dishes you past after washing as you both chatted about your day. While you was lost in Younghoon’s topic about work related conversation, you mind was floating about how you could imagine him as a husband. The sadness that he had possibly given her everything and still cheated. If you was married to him you would have cherished him. You chuckled to your thoughts when it had not been long ago when you despised him instead. “Your not listening to me are you?” Younghoon said breaking you from your thoughts. “Yes, yes I was,” you lied letting a slight blush creep up your face. “So the clients fathers death is amusing,” he asked smirking as your face fell in horror. “Ok sorry I got lost in thought I’m sorry, but before that I really was listening,” you said chewing on your bottom lip. “So what was you day dreaming about?” He asked drying the dish you past him. “Nothing much,” you said feeling let down by your warming face. “Was it something sexy,” he whispered in your ear making you shudder as you gasped. “No,” you shot out abruptly as he chuckled looking at the mess you was making of yourself. “I won’t tell if you don’t,” he said playfully as he nudged you. “Just was thinking that the worlds an ass to leave someone like you single,” you admitted as he looked taken back. “Think I preferred the sexy thoughts,” he said trying to brush over your words. “Would you now,” you winked his way trying to bring the awkward tension to an end. His hands reached out to the bowl you past but his fingers overlapped yours. Instead of removing them his eyes got lost. The chemistry between you zapping into the atmosphere as you watched his eyes fall to your lips. Thighs tightened as your mind imagining him pulling you to him to place them on you. Words failing you both as each second made the environment almost unbearable under both your heated glances. As he nears closer you don’t know if you think he’s about to kiss you or because you want him to. But before your body moves towards him to figure that out you hear a patter of feet enter the kitchen as you turn to face Yoona with sleepy but wet eyes on her face. “Baby,” you cry as you walk towards her. But before you can, Younghoon scoops her up into his arms. “Did you have a nightmare?” He questions as he wipes her escaping tear as she nods. “Oh hunnie let mummy,”, “shall we get some cookies and milk to help your tears,” Younghoon cuts you off as she nodded. “Sorry I should ask your,” , “no your good,” you replied, now your turn to cut him off. You watched with a warming feeling in your body as he saw to your daughter. It looked like you wasn’t the only one getting attached to the wealthy business owner.

Excitement was buzzing through you as security approved you inside Younghoon’s building. You had been invited to have lunch with Younghoon that day. He had jokingly said the previous week of a promise of a lunch date and though you wasn’t intending it to be reality. His text this morning brought a sense of excitement to fill you. You knew the blurred line of his Son’s live in Nanny was getting complicated. But while everything was innocent you didn’t want to think of that. Upon entering his office you was surprised to find it was filled with some others. Instead of suits they looked relaxed and casual and told you they was his friends. Younghoon’s confused face turned to horror and he leapt up towards you. “Mrs Y/N,” he said looking shady which had your head tilt as you felt the eyes on you. He placed his hand around you taking you to the side of the room. “Oh I’m really sorry I forgot to message you. My friends are in town and sprung this visit,” he said looking anxious for your reply. “It’s ok really,” you smiled to reassure him as your eyes took to his friends beady one’s. “I’ll make it up to you I promise,” he said letting his eyes twinkle in your view as you smile smitten his way. “You guys might as well share this,” you said handing him the picnic bag of items you made for your lunch. “Thanks I appreciate it,” he said stiffening when he heard the mocking of his friends. “Well I’ll leave you to it,” you said bowing before leaving. You barely got to the lift when you remember your car keys was in the basket. Dashing back you heard their chatter within the hallway from the slightly ajar door. “Live in nanny or paid girlfriend,” you heard a voice jibe that made you realise you was the subject. “It’s not like that,” you heard Younghoon scoff as your stomach started to fall. “Those lover eyes you both looked with tells me otherwise,” another one chuckled. “Get off, she’s paid to look after the family that’s all,” Younghoon said as you felt that you was seeing the wrong signs clearly. “So you don’t like her then? Maybe you need to send her the memo,” hit the air as the rest of them laughed with him. “No I don’t like her, I appreciate her,” Younghoon said as you felt your eyes begin to water. Not caring for the keys you turned to dash away. However, you bumped into a solid form before falling to the floor with a yelp. “Sorry I didn’t mean to scare you, are you ok?” A worried face came into your view before he squatted to hold your arms. “Yes sorry I’m,”, “Y/N what happened?” You heard from the door cut you off. Younghoon’s eyes was fall of concern till they fell on the gentleman by your side, especially his hands gently on your arm. “She fell,” he said to Younghoon as his eyes fell back to concern to find your other arm. “Let me help you up,” he said softly with the other guy helping you to your feet. Brushing the gentleman hand off your arm to make sure you was steady before he left yours, his looked slightly annoyed. “Thanks Haknyeon, the guys are in there,” he said without his eyes on someone who clearly was also a friend. “Thanks,” you said grateful for his assistance when he could have laughed at you, like those in the very room he was entering. Haknyeon looked at you softly smiling before he felt Younghoon’s glare and entered his office. “Was you eaves dropping?” He scolded you into the hallway which was silent. “No I was coming for my keys, there in the basket,” you said feeling yourself annoyed with his accusation. He looked at you with his remaining annoyance on his expression as he left to the room. You stood there in silence feeling your heart beat heavy listening to the jibes about your incident. Younghoon emerged minutes later with your keys as he walked you silently away from the room towards the lift. It made you feel unwanted and question everything that you had believe was between you both. Maybe you needed to unblur the lines between you.

It had become clear that he felt he needed space as you received a message stating that he was going away for a couple of days with the guys. The house was quiet without Younghoon and you couldn’t help but miss his company. Youngil and Yoona clearly felt the change in your emotions. Both them being attentive with you and helping you with chores. Which made it a little painful watching the bond that they both had established. Youngil had become Yoona’s defender and very like a big brother. Even getting up to make breakfast to let you have a lay in to help you out. As much as you needed to find away to unattach yourself and Yoona from the family settings here, you just couldn’t bring yourself to, where Youngil was concerned.

You was woken with loud clatter downstairs one evening. Dashing downstairs in your silk gown over your Pyjama dress, you found Younghoon and his friends piling the house. “Oh look it’s the paid wife,” his friend with the most beautiful sun kissed skin mocked. “Sunwoo cut that shit out,” Younghoon growled slightly slurring his words. “Sorry I thought it was intruders,” you said chewing your bottom lip. Younghoon eyes looked lost in lust as he watched you bite your lip away. “Don’t do that you won’t have any skin left,” he snapped making you jump. “Sorry,” you replied as you went to return to your room. But before you could you felt a hand take your wrist to face them. Younghoon looked lost in your eyes not caring that he was showing the passion in them. But despite his deceiving eyes you knew he felt nothing for you. “Can you get us some drinks,” he finally spilled when your eyes took to his friends all amused. Nodding silently you made your way to his office to collect several liqueurs bringing them to the feisty loud living room. Haknyeon’s eyes take yours as you smile his way. Returning to the kitchen you find yourself startled when you turn to face Haknyeon stood there. Stood against the kitchen island his eyes are intently watching you. “Are you really just the live in nanny?” He questions tilting his head. “I’m only intrigued I’m not here to judge,” he said showing his beautiful smile your way. “I’m just his live in Nanny that’s all,” you said as he hummed to himself and came round to your side. Leaning into the Cupboard to reach for some more glasses he looked at you confused. “You don’t get paid to do that so let me help,” he said placing the glasses on to the tray. Younghoon’s eyes widened watching you following empty handed behind Haknyeon. “Didn’t I ask you to do that?” He snapped your way. Instead of taking it your annoyance kicked in as your jaw tightened. “I thought she’s just a live in Nanny not your maid?” Haknyeon said before you could open your mouth. “Who asked you?” Younghoon growled as you saw Haknyeon’s jaw tense. “Maybe if you learnt how to treat women with respect then your wife wouldn’t have cheated on you,” he said squaring up to his friend. Younghoon laughed in a mocking Way before attempting to swing towards his younger. His friends getting around him to pull him away. “You never could handle your drink,” Haknyeon tutted. “I’m not the one hitting their friend you can remove your hand Hyunjae,” Haknyeon said snapping at his friend who stepped back with his hands up. “Sunwoo, Youngjae let him be, let him take a swipe at me,” he snapped at the two holding Younghoon back. “If they let me go I’m going to beat you,” Younghoon growls. “Woah, woah come on guys,” another friend said standing between them all. “You shouldn’t have brought up Jiyeon,” he said at Haknyeon before turning to face Younghoon. “And you shouldn’t be treating your Nanny as a maid, let alone being rude,” he said to Younghoon, who’s eyes fell to you with a little bit of shame in them. “Unless there’s something your holding back from us,” he said looking between you both. “Shut up Chanhee,” Younghoon grumbles as you feel tears ready to spill. “Hyunjae can you take Haknyeon home please,” Chanhee says to his elder who nods. Haknyeon looks at you with concern as you nod to reassure him before they silently leave. Not before the iciness in Younghoon eyes take his, Sunwoo and Youngjae struggling to hold him back. Once the door shuts behind him and the car drives away the younger two release there hands. Chanhee turns to you smiling warmly. “Y/N maybe this is something that you don’t have to be around for. Why don’t you get some sleep,” Chanhee says as you feel your tears escape. Nodding you take yourself silently to your room as you hear Chanhee continue to scold his elder.

You woke early the rest of the week making Younghoon and the children their breakfast. But returned to your room so that you didn’t have to sit in the same room then him. You couldn’t afford to have the angry words you wanted to spill when your daughter and you could face homelessness. You still made his lunch dropping it at the front desk on the way home from the school run. The children was fed before you tutored them. Younghoon’s dinner placed ready to be heated by himself once home. There was occasions when Younghoon would attempt to communicate with you once he got back. Finding you in either in Youngil’s room or Yoona’s, but you kept him at arms length.

Mr Kim @10.55am; Thank you for my lunch it looks very yummy. Can’t wait for lunch time.

Can I be cheeky and ask that you can purchase some snacks. I’m hoping to host a party this evening. I have some apologising to be making to Haknyeon.

You @11;32pm Send me what you require and I will collect.

Throwing the items into the trolley you made your way to the counter. However, three guys in a balaclava storm the shop. One points their gun at the shop keeper making demands. The other aiming his gun in your direction as the last one bordered the door, aiming his at anyone who attempted to enter the shop. “Stand over there,” the one watching over you snapped as you tilted your head unafraid. “Don’t think I won’t shoot you,” he growled as you felt anger tense through you. He could sense your defiance as his gun aimed for the shopping in your trolley. Shooting the bottle of whisky you was ordered to buy for Younghoon to apologise to Haknyeon. The glass exploded, shards going everywhere. One scratching your arms, thankfully just a skin wound, but the blood attempt to drip down your arms. “Next shot will be you,” he threatened aiming the gun too closely. Biting your lip to ground yourself you obeyed moving to the area he pointed to. As you walked you felt your phone vibrate. “What do you hope to achieve?” You said loudly on the hope he wouldn’t hear the phone buzzing in your back pocket. You was grateful for your dark thick clothing that meant he wouldn’t see it flash from behind you. His silence continued as you continue to talk above the vibration. Walking you to the side of the building he turned his gun on anyone who he found. Your group becoming six of you by the time you reached the small staff room. He walked around the room picking the shop phone and smashing it to the floor. His heavy boots slamming down to completely destroy it. Your heart was beating heavy, the first time feeling fear. Storming out he locked the door as you looked to your five companions all of you written with fear on your face.

Slouching down you felt your phone vibrate as you dashed to the call. Mr Kim written all over the screen. “Finally you picked up,” he moaned down the phone. “I don’t need the shopping in the end, they’ve cancelled,” he breathed down the phone heavily. You heard noise from outside the door so you didn’t want to risk answering. The woman beside you her eyes beaded in fear. “Y/N, please answer, tell me you heard that,” he grumbled down the phone. “Or have you brought it already?” He questioned. Suddenly the door sounded as if it was being unlocked so you threw the phone behind you. Closing your eyes when you realised you forgot to hang up. “Get fucking in there,” the man growled tossing a battered and bruised gentleman who looked like he attempted to fight back. His eyes roamed the room as you could hear Younghoon calling in the distance. Fear setting in that he would be heard, you decided to speak once more. “Surely theirs a better way then this?” You said shakily. “What have I said,” he growls aiming his gun back in your direction. “I really will shoot you next time,” he hisses before he storms out the room locking it. As the others dash to the newest member in the room you dash to your phone. “Younghoon,” you whimper. “What’s going on?” He says sounding panicked. “The shop, three gunman,” you throw out choking in fear, not knowing how long you could keep the line of communication open. “Are you hurt?” He says fearfully. “No but one of us is,” you whimper. “I’ll get help, hold tight, keep that mouth under control please I beg you,” he pleads down the phone as a tear escapes. Before you can respond the door is opened once more, the phone placed behind you once again. This time on purpose so he can hear everything. Another two members of staff are thrown in looking in a traumatised expression. The mans eyes take you with anger once more as if he’s expecting you to speak, but you remain tight lipped. “Good you lost your mouth,” he smirks before walking out and locking the door once more. “Be careful,” the man next to you said as you nod before grabbing the phone back. “How many are they of you?” He questions when your heavy breathing hits the phone. “9 one badly injured,” you said as you can hear him passing the information to someone. “I’m on my way, the police have been notified, keep your self quiet and we’re get you out as soon as we can,” he says in an attempt to calm you. “If I don’t,” , “don’t you dare say that we’re not even talking like that,” Younghoon cuts you off. The door opens quick as a flash taking you unguarded. You know his eyes saw you throw your phone behind you. “I knew you was up to no good,” he growled storming his way your direction. Tossing you aside he picked the phone up pressing it to his ear. “Y/N, what’s happening,” you hear even from where you landed. “She’s not available at the moment, maybe check in with the local mortuary,” he chuckles hanging up the phone. He looks at your locked screen which was a photo of Yoona. “Is this your girl?,” he asks as you can’t find the words to respond even if you wanted to. “Well looks like her mummy wants to play at being our main hostage,” he grins throwing the phone to the floor. His feet stamping on it making it crunch under his shoes. Grabbing you by the collar he drags you up, your body not relenting as it tightens around your throat. Dragging you he takes you outside throwing you into the shelf. You whimper as the impact crushes against your chest. “What’s up you lost your bravado mentality,” he mocks after locking the room.

Your eyes find the other two, bags of money, alcohol and fags in sight. “As this one’s called the cops she’s gladly offered to be today’s hostage,” he snarls throwing you into the other masked man. “How long did you call them?” He said rather calmly as his hands brushed down your jawline. “I was on the phone to my boyfriend not the police,” you said scared to mention your boss was the very Ceo of Bbang express. “But he was talking to the police?” He asked tilting his head. “I believe so,” you said honestly as he brushed your hair out your face. “How long ago?” He asked softly your way. “Just before he walked in,” you said as tears pricked your eyes. “It’s ok princess, you do as your told and we’re get you home to lover boy,” he said as you could see the flashing lights outside the building. “Now If you spoke to her nicely you might have prevented this,” he grumbled at the guy who had attacked you. “Right all you need to do is do as I tell you and keep your mouth shut,” he said pressing the gun to your temple as his arm swarm around your chest. “It’s ok princess I won’t use this, unless you give me good reason to,” he coo’d in your ear. Walking to the fresh air which felt refreshing, but the sight not so much. Armed police with their guns pressed in your direction. In the distance though your eyes found Younghoon. He looked in a way you never experienced, his face full of concern and worry. “Let the hostage go,” you heard echo around you. “I will once we’ve escaped,” he smirks walking towards the car that was still parked. The other two jumped in the vehicle with their haul, he stepped backwards with you into the car. Your eyes taking Younghoon before the man pulled you in. Throwing himself to the floor the gun was pressed into your back. “Drive,” he grumbled as the car began to show life. “Don’t you dare move, not yet?” He said with a slight harshness. Tears flowing down your eyes, you watched Younghoon fade in to the distance looking distressed as he got into his own car. As you sped away, you watched as the police followed the chase. “How many,” he snapped pressing the gun into your back. “Too many to count,” you whispered. “Fuck sake put your foot down,” he snapped. You watched slowly as the cars chasing dwindled down. The clever manoeuvres and the sun being chased down, too you soon found secluded empty roads ahead and nothing following. The gun was removed from your back as your eyes looked to your captor sitting up. “Drive over,” he snapped, as his hands cupped your face. “I promised you you would be safe if you helped,” he whispered. “Your letting me go?” You questioned as he chuckled. “Why do you fancy joining me,” he sniggered as you screwed your face his way. “My life’s not one for you,” he said as he leaned over opening the door for you to escape. “Go live for you and your daughter,” he said beneath the mask. Climbing out the car your eyes took the bigger man who hurt you. He grumbled something you couldn’t hear and before you knew it the car drove off, leaving you in the pitch dark not knowing where you was.

For the first time in ages you felt vulnerable, alone and cold. Your feet stumbled as the tears fell as you made your way to find any sign of life. Your ribs hurting like hell with each step. You had walked at least a couple of miles, before a car came your way. You waved wincing almost immediately from the sharp pain, sighing in relief when the car pulled up. However, you felt even more at peace when it was Younghoon’s face that took yours. “Y/N,” he choked as he took you into his arms. “You found me,” you whimpered as the tears flooded. “I told you I wouldn’t let you out my sight,” he said patting your hair as he kissed your Crown. “Are you hurt,” he said examining you but he struggled in the dark. He grabbed his torch light on his phone checking you out, his face looking in fear at the glass cut skin in your arms. “We need to get you checked out,” he said as you didn’t stop crying to respond. Placing his jacket over you he brings you to the car holding you tightly as it takes you to the hospital.

Thankfully nothing was broken just sore muscle damage. Your flesh wound didn’t even need stitches. However, Younghoon demanded you was house bound for almost a month. He took time off work to become the home maker himself. When you was fed up being cooped up you pleaded to be left to your own devices. However, Younghoon didn’t want to pull any more chances. From now on you was all to have bodyguards. You already knew Juyeon, his own security and driver. But you soon met Jacob who was entrusted with Yoona’s care. Kevin with Youngil as well as your own Sangyeon. Younghoon ordered that no one was allowed to leave without their security. You was told not to do the school runs letting Jacob and Kevin deal with them. You had even moaned what was the point in your own security if you wasn’t allowed to leave the house. Especially as he made demands for no shopping trips or lunch time delivery’s. It was like the incident made the house go in some sort of high protection. You had to laugh that you had survived the last month since the incident why the sudden need now. But then you knew the Robbers still hadn’t been caught. You knew enough from eavesdropping that Younghoon had employed a team to investigate themselves. Ji Changmin had questioned you just as much as the police had, if not more. Changmin wanted to know every aspect of your life. Which infuriated you as how was your past life relevant to an incident where you was simply just at the wrong place at the wrong time. You appreciated Younghoon’s concerns, it felt good to know he cared enough about your safety. He had cared for you so intently while you recovered, that those butterfly feelings returned, even more so then normal. The way his eyes looked at you from the other side of the room. His friends even visiting to check up on you, he stop denying you was more then just a live in nanny. They had sniggered even more worse but after a while they became supportive. Haknyeon blamed himself. If it wasn’t for the argument he felt that you wouldn’t have been there getting his make up spread. But you told him you knew Younghoon well enough that he enjoyed his boys moments and he would have found another excuse.

Though you felt as if you and Younghoon was nearing breaking the line between you both. He reminded you as always that it was just your own Delulu mind. You watched as he left for the glamorous event at a local charity ball. He had looked dashing before you left and your thighs instantly tightened, leaving you wanting to be by his side. Your heart fell when you watched on social media him walk in with a girl on his arms. Talks of his secret relationship hit everywhere on the feeds that you couldn’t help but let the tears fall. You had obviously taken his caring nature for something else. Yet he always made it obvious that you wasn’t someone he was into. Instead he had been hiding a relationship. Beneath the jealous sizzling in you, you felt angered slightly that you was no doubt At least friends and he kept that from you. You didn’t wait up for him as planned, instead taking yourself to bed to sob yourself to sleep.

Realising that you had to create some form of distance between you, you started that following morning. Using the breakfast table to test Youngil and Yoona for their upcoming exams. It was to remember you wasn’t a paid substitute partner but Youngil’s tutor. Instead of his lunch being hand made you ordered it in for him. When Younghoon wanted to take you out for a meal you arranged for Kevin to take Youngil. While you and Yoona stayed home in your room ordering take out as you watched a movie.

“What’s going on?” Younghoon quizzed grabbing your wrist the second the children was taken to school that morning. You hadn’t realised Younghoon was yet to leave for work. “I’m waving the children off,” you smiled as you went to walk off before his hands grabbed your wrist. “Why didn’t you and Yoona come yesterday?” He quizzed looking hurt. “I’m use to your paddy’s but that really hurt you not letting Yoona come,” he said looking pained. “Because I’m just your live in nanny and Yoona is just the Nanny’s daughter. We’re all forgetting our roles here, this isn’t mine and Yoona’s home, it’s our work related residency,” you said as his eyes blinked in shock. “I’m confused,” he said as you smiled at him. “Younghoon we’re temporary, one day Youngil won’t need a tutor or to be minded. He’s 12, He doesn’t really need minding now that’s what Kevins for. When that day comes it will be painful for Yoona, she needs to be reminded we’re not a family,” you explained as you brushed his hand off your wrist to walk to the stairs to your room. “Wait Y/N,” He called behind you as you turned to face him half way on the stairs. “Why do you suddenly think this is temporary? do you think little of me that when Youngil don’t need you, that I will just brush you aside? Are you that blind to not even realise I care for Yoona myself?” He says looking pained. “So what your going to keep her here till she’s old enough to leave?” You mock rolling your eyes. “Why not?” He scoffs looking serious. “Because your not her dad Younghoon, we already confuse those kids as it is,” you spluttered as he furrowed his eyes your way. “Ok I do, I confuse them because I keep confusing your friendship with something else,” you let slip as his face relaxed almost amused. “You have feelings?” He teased as you grumbled continuing to walk up the stairs to run to hide in your room from revealing further more. “Y/N stop walking away,” he groaned following. “Why so you can continue mocking me,” you said as you go to open your bedroom door, before Younghoon’s hand press to avoid that. “I’m not mocking you I’m sorry,” he said throwing his head into your view against the door. His bottom lip playfully pouting as he try’s to make you smile. “See I’m just trying to make you laugh that’s all.” He said sweetly. “But seriously do you really like me?” He asked holding your waist just a breath away. “Please,” you said trying to brush him aside to no avail. “Can we not talk about this it’s embarrassing as it is,” you said looking up at him with pleading eyes. “If it makes you feel better i like you too,” he said his hands tightening around your waist.

You went into shock as your mind attempted to take his words. “What,” you stuttered as he laughed spinning you so you was against your own bedroom door. His hands placed either side of you, his face brought closer. “I like you Y/N,” he said whispering into your ear. “That girl from the ball,” you whispered yourself, closing your eyes as you struggled under him. “Is that what this weeks been about, her?” he chuckles. “She’s nothing special, I can promise you, it’s not like I could have taken you even though I wanted to,” he said watching you as you felt irritation attack. “Why because your ashamed of me?” you gasped as he shook his head. “Because you don’t like the spotlight, your not ready for the publicity of being with someone like me. Having to deal with the likes of my mother, Youngil’s mum,” he added as you calmed. “When I finally get you to accept a relationship with me I want to be greedy, I want you to myself, all mine,” he smirks devilishly.

Before you can speak another word his lips fall to yours. It’s like he’s held back for so long as the kisses are deep and frenzied. His teeth occasionally nipping at your lips when they don’t keep up with his desperate needy flow. His hands you can hear are fighting the handle of your door and you know he’s about to devour you. You can feel your thighs dampen in excitement. As he opens the door he winks at you having let you come up for air. Pulling you into your room he drags you to the bed. Dropping to the floor he removes your lower clothing, humming at the view of your glistering pussy on show. Pulling you to sit on the bed he hears his phone ring in his back pocket. He doesn’t even look at the device turning it off without his eyes leaving yours. Lips falling to your heat he lets his tongue swipe up and down your folds. Swirling the tip around your nub he enjoys listening to you moan into the air. It’s like it encourages him more as his tongue finds its way to slide against your velvety walls. Bringing your pelvis towards his tongue fucking you, become a messy feast for the both of you. While you feel like your slowly unwinding to your upcoming explosion. You know that your juices are flowing down his chin as he enjoys his meal. Thighs trembling you feel almost ready to jump off your high with him but he stops earning a grumble from your lips. “Don’t be so greedy my baby,” he teases wiping your juices from his chin. “I want you to be greedy with me at the same time,” he says standing to remove his clothes. Seeing him standing there naked almost knocks you into a different world. One where your mind is no longly functioning. From his chuckle your sure your dribbling in his view. Hovering over you his fingers attack your t-shirt till they remove your bra. His lips impatiently suckling over your nipple. It’s like the taste of your skin is his favourite as he enjoys licking, sucking along both your breasts. Your sure that he’s no doubt marked you as he struggles under his pleasure. Lips soon start to chase to your neck. This time there’s no mistake his suckling on purpose as he marks your skin. “Mine,” he whispers into your ear as your hand finds to his waist. Lining himself at your entrance he slowly presses into your core. His eyes not leaving you as he watches you fall apart underneath. Stilling as he bottoms out in you, your walls respond tightening around him. “Oh baby that feels so good,” he whispers with shakily breath. Lips crashing with yours, his needy inpatient kisses return, this time with a rhythm of his cock deep in you at the same time. Nails raking along his back encourages him to speed his pace as your moans are more whimpers and cry’s. Lifting your legs over his shoulder to reach a more deeper position the coil beneath you begin To evolve once more. Your own pelvis attempting to move against his own, but his hand weighs you down further restricting you. You suckled down his chuckles mixed with his own moans. Hands cupping your face gently doesn’t match the speed and harshness of his shaft hitting you so perfectly, your thighs shake as your orgasm nears. His lips leave yours as his own tethers, your name spills like a mantra. The words hitting the air is enough to send you crazy as you fall off your own. Your wall crushing around his cock that his grunts become deeper as he fills you with ropey cum. He continues as he slowly thrusts his last couple of movements against you.

Lips returning to yours he lets your legs drop. His kisses much more romantic as his hands brush down your face. “Are you really mine?” you ask between his kisses that makes him stop to look at you. “Do I really look like a man who spins words just to get them in to bed?” He questions as you smile shaking your head. “Y/N I meant what I said. Your mine, I just want to keep it private before the world, my world scares you away,” he said looking at you seriously. “I once thought i had lost you and I’m never going back there,” he said brushing his hands along your breasts watching them harden. “That wasn’t because I was connected to you,” you said trying to comfort him. “Maybe then yes, but anyone connected to me because my money, my status they could be hurt,” he said biting his lip. “I won’t ever risk losing you. It’s why I paid for that girl to be my plus one, the eyes are on her while I enjoy my time with you,” he said pressing kisses to your breasts that had your nipples erect. “You paid for a girlfriend?” you scoffed as he chuckled. “No I paid an actress to act like she was my date, so I could keep my new family safe,” he said looking at you totally in love. “New family?” You question as he smiles. “Yes you, Youngil and Yoona, my family,” he said as his lips fell to yours.

Getting lost in your moment you didn’t register the raised voices coming up the stairs. But the way Younghoon’s lips was engaged with yours he didn’t neither. Not till the door blasted open.

At the bottom of your bed was a woman looking at you both furious. Her eyes meeting Younghoon’s, guilt written all over them. “What the hell,” you hit out pulling the bed sheets to cover you. “What the hell? Is that all you can say when your in bed with my husband,” she screams angrily in to the room. Behind her seconds later walks in Youngil, his face in horror at finding you in bed with his father.

In that second you wanted the floor to eat you whole.

To be continued ……

Masterlist

#kpop smut #kpopidol #fiction #the boyz smut #kim younghoon smut #ji changmin #moon kevin #kim younghoon #choi chanhee #lee hyunjae #lee sangyeon #ju haknyeon #Kim Sunwoo #son Youngjae #jacob bae

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un-love · 5 months

Text

the next time you meet them

a/n: for my carats and deobis <3 this is entirely fictional! (that's a given) pls reblog

🖇️ he stares at you across the table, eyes half lidded from all the wine he’s downed. the previously inviting chatter around the table is all noise to him; he can't be bothered to avert his gaze from your face. he hadn't planned on drinking at all that night, but seeing you so close to him, on another man’s arm changed that. a familiar burn rises in his throat. goosebumps line his skin, almost mocking him as he sees your fingers linger on this dude’s arm. what did you see in him? the only time his eyes leave your face is to ask for another drink. (jeonghan / younghoon)

🖇️ he smiles at you, but not before considering sprinting in the opposite direction. it's not as hard as he had imagined, he tells himself, except his heart feels like it just ran a five mile marathon and his ears are ringing. you smile back at him, oblivious to the whirlwind your presence evoked on an otherwise warm sunday afternoon, and he catches sight of the front tooth you chipped on his television set. ah. the day you had moved in together. five months after, you had kicked him out. his heart knows how to put itself back together now, after hundreds of failed attempts. (seokmin / kevin)

🖇️ you have bloodshot eyes and his hand reaches around your waist to steady you instinctively. no one bats an eye when you lean into his touch and tell him you’ve always loved how he smelled, and did he change his perfume recently? this is what friends do, isn’t it? that is what he is to you, after all? (cheol / sangyeon)

🖇️ saturdays are game nights for your mutual friend group. so the fact that you had spent the previous night projectile vomiting on your bathroom floor, or the fact that he was wasted beyond comprehension, resulting in a terrible hangover had to be kept aside to protect a previously well-kept secret. the pit in your stomach gets deeper every time the warm sound of his laugh reaches your ears, body aching to be touched by him. he leaves early. (jun / changmin)

🖇️ he has freshly bleached hair. you know this because he’s at your doorstep. he’s at your doorstep? hope is a home in your chest, immediately crumbled by the look on his face. is he not here for you? “i wanted to come get my stuff. it wouldn't be fair for you to have reminders of me everywhere.” oh. (chan / chanhee)

🖇️ standing infront of the café you’ve been avoiding for the most part of the year, you try to convince yourself you're seeing things in places they aren’t. through the glass window, dark brown eyes catch you. pretty eyes, heavy with confusion (or is it guilt on his face?) attached to a face so familiar it makes your breath hitch. the images come in flashes. hand squeezes, midnight snacks (waffles), one green apple mojito + two straws, butterfly kisses, promise rings, forgotten birthdays, muffled sobs, untouched food, promise rings taken off. too much, too fast. heartache can only be described as a knife lodged in your sternum. (soonyoung)

🖇️ years have passed. he doesn't recognize you, or simply refuses to acknowledge you. either way, your skin tingles with nostalgia when he gets into the elevator after you. they say certain scents can evoke the strongest memories. from your spot, you can trace the slope of his nose, the curve of his mouth, the apples of his cheeks with your eyes. everything is just as you remember it. silver glints on one of his fingers as he lifts his phone to one ear. well, maybe not everything. he was your first love, that's all. (joshua / juyeon)

🖇️ if someone told you the first boy you fell in love with was going to walk up to you, ten years later in the auditorium where you first kissed him, just to tell you how beautiful you look, you would've laughed in their face. but here he was now, (in a blazer, instead of a bomber jacket, but) as exquisite as ever, and after two glasses of wine, you let yourself wonder how his smile would feel against your mouth. i think i’ve seen this film before. would it be so bad to let him break your heart again? (vernon / sunwoo)

🖇️ the thing about weddings is they make you feel nostalgic about things that could poison you (namely, relationships). so when you spot him in the distance, the groom’s closest friend and your former lover, you can’t help but long for everything that once was, everything that could have been. the warmth of his skin against your cold hands, his arms around your waist as he whisks you away for a dance, the vision of his freshly curled hair between your thighs. whoops. (wonwoo / hyunjae)

🖇️ he stands at your doorstep, drenched. water drips from his hair and clothes onto your welcome mat. “i thought about you all day, about how lonely these twenty four hours can get for you. it’s almost midnight, but i had to come, even when the rational part of me advocated that i don’t have the right to do this for you, not anymore. but i wanted you to know that i care, no matter what happened between us. happy birthday. i’m sorry.” (seungkwan / eric)

🖇️ a freezing christmas eve. looks like he hasn’t let go of this habit of always waiting till the last moment to pick up christmas presents. for the years that you were together, you made sure to get it done on time. seeing him now, two winters later, borderline panicking on the other side of the store makes you laugh (and reminisce, and dream). maybe you should go over and h- you’re frozen in place when an arm slides around his waist. he pulls her closer as you watch, heart thumping against your ribcage when he presses a gentle kiss to her cheek. bells jingle as you leave the coziness of the store for the biting cold. you must've been mistaken. that's not the man you knew. (woozi)

🖇️ you bump into him the day you move into a new building. he gives you a smile that makes his eyes soften and watches as you break in two. “oh, i live here too.” what if you had loved him out loud? set free the words rolled under your tongue? what if you had hooked your fingers into his belt loops and pulled him closer? regret tastes like four glasses of wine at your own housewarming party, with eyes fixed on the door. do you believe in second chances? (minghao / haknyeon)

🖇️ the years have been super kind to him but you can see the hints of ageing on his otherwise flawless skin. his smile, velvet and butter, still floods the room with warmth. or maybe just the entirety of you, as he sits next to you on the couch. it’s silly, the effect he still has. you can't help but be jealous of all the moments of him the hands of the clock stole from you. all of the tears and smiles you weren't next to him for. his hands, once soft in yours, are now calloused and rough. his hair, the shortest you've seen it. he shifts closer to you, as if sensing the turmoil. and when his hand grazes yours, electricity shoots through your fingertips. he’s here now. maybe the thoughts can wait. (mingyu / jacob)

bonus:

🖇️ you have a visitor. you open your home to him once again, leading him out to the balcony. the sky is an angry pink, the plants looking warily at who the evening brought in. “look, i’m sorry for not believing you. for pushing you out and leaving you behind. you didn’t deserve that. you're like…the fucking sun and i envy people who see that and get to be loved by you. i don’t get to be bitter, do i? i had it and i lost it. had you and i lost you. let me be yours again.” you wake up to his side of the bed still empty. was he dreaming of you too?

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leejynz · 1 year

Note

can u do boyfriend! eric or boyfriend! changmin scenario

might as well do both

tbz scenarios - boyfriend! eric / fluff!

*note this is all fictional and just based off of my opinions on the boyz (eric & changmin) js for fun*

- 50% acts like a man and 50% acts like a baby

- buys you vip seats everytime to all the sports games you want to go too

- gets pouty when your attention is on a male celebrity on the tv “yah!! what about me?!? your boyfriend is an idol!!!”

- sends you selfies of him when he’s about to go to bed when he’s on tour “i miss you baby *face kiss emoji*”

- cleans the house when he comes home from work while you’re still at work

- can’t hide his smirk when you lay on his chest; raising his ego

- can’t help but smile when he gently fixes your hair when you’re sleeping but tries to not wake you up

- back hugs 24/7.

- contact name (you): my sweetheart (have you seen his weverse 😉)

—————————————————

tbz scenarios - boyfriend! changmin / fluff!

- tucks your hair behind your ear when youre stressed

- always covers a blanket over you whenever you fall asleep in the couch

- text arguments about who misses who more “i know you miss me but i miss you the most 😡”

- the type that would love to rest on your chest instead of the other way around

- rubs his head on your neck in the morning at any random time (cuddling)

- never gives his food to his members but will give you a sip of his drink if you do aegyo for him

- leaves daily sticky notes on the fridge “morning dummy don’t skip breakfast”

- contact name (you): my pigeon (yes bc of the nyc pigeon but i feel like it’s a pet name he’d give)

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sehunniepotwrites · 1 year

Text

Head Over Broomsticks | J.JH

SYNOPSIS. When your friends are tired of watching you and your crush go around in circles, they take matters into their own hands. Putting their Advanced Potions skills to the test, Donghyuck and Chenle conjure up a powerful truth serum and slip it in your drink right before a Quidditch game, which leads to a few inappropriate comments about No. 77, Jeong Jaehyun, of Gryffindor’s Quidditch team. This would’ve been fine if you were just a regular spectator but you are much more than that--you’re the Announcer and everyone is subjected to hear your unfiltered thoughts. Just great.

PAIRING. Gryffindor Beater!Jaehyun x (f) Quidditch Announcer!Reader GENRE. Hogwarts!AU, Sports!AU, Quidditch!AU, humor, fluff, suggestive WORD COUNT. 3.5k+ WARNINGS. reader makes a lot of suggestive comments/innuendos that are also Quidditch puns (referring to Jaehyun’s parts as a bat, bludger, stick, broom, etc.), profanity, kiss, mentions of food and drinks, spiking a drink with a truth potion, no explicit scenes!

DISCLAIMER. This is work of fiction. I do not own the people/characters and concepts I have written about. You cannot translate or copy my work.

“Hello, Hogwarts, and welcome to the first Quidditch game of the season!”

A deafening roar made its way through the Quidditch Pitch. The game itself tapped on the centuries old Slytherin versus Gryffindor rivalry that brought everyone to the stands. Each bench was filled to the brim, students and staff alike huddling together to all warm the wooden benches. Those who weren’t able to find a seat surrounded the Pitch’s borders, straining their necks for hours to watch the game taking place in the sky, hands covered with gloves and filled with flags to support their beloved team.

Professor Minho Choi, the official Hogwarts referee and the school’s very own flying instructor, stood in the middle of the Pitch with the wiggling chest. Everyone watched in anticipation as he spoke to the players, green and red, hovering above him. No one could hear his exact words but you all assumed it was warnings to play a nice clean game. All players closed their eyes on his command. His scuffed, leather boot kicked the side of the chest, releasing all the required equipment for the game to start.

“Out come the Bludgers. The Golden Snitch comes next; that’s worth a whopping 150 points, if you don’t remember! Whichever team seeker snatches the fast flier first will earn those points and will end the game!” Choi’s gloved hands took hold of the Quaffle, taking a second to smile at the players, before tossing it into the air. “The Quaffle is released and the game begins!”

Amongst the spectators, of course, was you with your hands gripping the announcer’s microphone, usually dedicated to relaying every single move. And although you were initially excited to be at the game, where you would hear the angry swish of brooms along with the cheers and jeers, you were now hating every little second that passed. Why? Because, no matter how unfiltered your thoughts were when it came to Quidditch, it seemed that this time around, you were on another level.

“There goes number seventy-seven, Jaehyun Jeong of Gryffindor, hitting the Bludger away from his side of the field and onto the other. Oh, how I would let him beat me with his sti—” Your comment was interrupted by a wand poking your side. Professor Changmin Shim, the Gryffindor head, simply glared at you before jerking his head to the current game on the pitch. “Sorry, Professor!”

It wasn’t like you wanted to make comments such as that one out loud—your crush on the handsome Quidditch player was something you wanted to keep to yourself and your small group of friends. The thing was, no matter how hard you tried to restrain them, they just spilled out of your mouth. The words flew out faster than the Golden Snitch zooming around the field—there was no way of stopping them.

You couldn’t catch your words.

Merlin’s beard, you could barely keep your mouth shut to begin with. That was how you ended up at the next Hogwarts Quidditch Announcer, following in the footsteps of the loudmouth Lee Jordan and the mischievous Baekhyun Byun. Despite that fact, you were never that explicit when commenting on plays. The unfiltered thoughts resonating through the microphone was all thanks to your idiot friends, Donghyuck Lee and Chenle Zhong.

“You are dead to me,” you whispered harshly at your friends.

“You always say that, mate,” Donghyuck said as he stretched, resting his palms behind his thick head of hair.

“When are you going to actually act on your threats?” Chenle added on with a smirk.

“Today. Say your goodbyes, boys,” you say with an evil glint in your sharp eyes, doing their best to follow the plays. You leaned forward and made a comment about Slytherin’s swift Keeper blocking the Quaffle from entering the middle hoop, earning a cheer from their fans.

“How long does this potion last?”

“Six hours, give or take,” Chenle recited from memory. Two hours had passed since you consumed it and each game lasted around two hours. Hypothetically, you would have to deal with the effects of the serum for two more hours. “Why?”

“Time to find your crushes and blurt every dirty little secret you rascals have.”

There was a reason you three got along. You were all menaces. Their eyes widened and before they could beg for your forgiveness, your eyes caught the Pitch’s referee making a call. Leaning into the mic, your voice boomed throughout the yard. “FOUL!” Your volume increased as the passion for the game overcame you. “Slytherin was just issued a foul for cobbing, rightfully so! KEEP YOUR SHARP ELBOWS TO YOURSELVES, YOU DAMN SNAKES! I’M LOOKING AT YOU, NAKAMOTO! I HOPE YOU DON’T MAKE IT TO THE HOUSE FINALS!”

“Hey!” Donghyuck placed his hand over his heart, pretending to be offended by your comment.

“Oh, don’t get all soft on me now,” you roll your eyes at him. “You’re a damn snake for pulling that stunt and you know it.”

“Hiss hiss, motherfucker.”

“Ten points from Slytherin,” Professor Taeyeon Kim blurted out from the bench behind you.

Donghyuck and Chenle’s big eyes became circles at their own house head’s betrayal. “Professor Kim, what gives?!”

“No need to curse, Lee, hold yourself with dignity,” your instructor held her ground, her eyes not even leaving the field to give her two students a chance.

Smart yet dumb was how you would describe your meddling friends. Much like every friend group, each person had their own strengths. Donghyuck and Chenle’s strong suits just so happened to be Potions and they always used it to their advantage. Because you were afraid to confess your feelings to Jaehyun, the two decided to take matters into their own grimy hands. They slipped Veritaserum—a truth serum—into your morning coffee that you chugged before rushing to the Pitch.

Your liking towards Jaehyun developed over time. It didn’t hit you all at once like your other crushes. In fact, you didn’t like him at all at first. His cockiness when it came to his athletic ability irked you in your previous years as a Quidditch fan. Jaehyun’s confidence grew throughout the years, his second-year benchwarmer days long behind him once he had a chance to debut his skills. Some people wanted to be him, others just wanted him.

Others much like yourself.

Especially when all he would do was blush in your presence. (And yet, you still couldn’t bring yourself to confess.)

If anything, it made Jaehyun all the more attractive in your eyes. He could barely make it through a Friday Potions lesson with you as his partner once, stumbling over his words as he read the recipe out to you. It turned your cauldron into a ticking bomb, the gooey substance exploding all over your robes. Jaehyun, who was never a klutz when it came to these things, flushed with embarrassment while you stared blankly at him, hands filled with what was meant to be your exit ticket at the end of class. Professor Yunho Jeong made the two of you stay behind to clean the mess up as he graded your papers. The Gryffindor coach, who doubled as the potions professor, was secretly entertained by his star athlete’s lack of coordination and words the whole time.

“God, I’m so sorry, I really don’t know how I mixed up the words like that,” Jaehyun reiterated while he scrubbed the sticky floor. His red and gold tie dangling too and fro with each miniscule movement. The athlete was on his hands and knees right next to you with his long, white sleeves rolled up above his elbows. His robe and sweater vest were long forgotten, settled on his assigned lab bench, mingling with your own belongings.

“Jaehyun, it’s okay. People make mistakes like this all the time–”

“I know but–”

“Jae,” you said, clearly exasperated, “for the last time, it’s okay.”

When your classmate failed to reply, you turned to see a redness spread from his ears, down to his cheeks, and dot his precious nose. He blinked slowly, pretty mouth opened just a tad.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?” you wiped your face with the back of your palm, pushing your loose strands out of your sight. “Is there something on my face? I thought I already wiped it all off.”

Your comment pulled him from his thoughts, his hands shaking in front of you. “No, there’s nothing on your face. It’s not that.”

“Then what?” you poked the bear, shifting your attention until it was fully on him. Jaehyun looked at you with a bashful expression and you jutted your jaw towards him, giving him that silent reassurance.

“You called me Jae,” he said after a beat, “you’ve never done that before. Only my friends call me Jae.”

“Oh, sorry! I didn’t mean to, it just slipped.”

“Wait, no, I didn’t mean it like that. I was just surprised,” Jaehyun laughed nervously, “that’s all.”

“If you don’t want me to call you that, Jaehyun, you can just say so, it’s alright.” Gritting your teeth, you went back to work, adding an insane amount of pressure into your scrubbing. You wanted the cold floors to swallow you whole.

A warm hand rested itself on your forearm, halting your movements. “You can call me Jae.” His soft and sweet brown irises found yours, the tiny corners of his eyes lifting up as he smiled.

“Are you sure?”

“As sure as I can be.” Jaehyun’s hand gave you a little squeeze and a giggle escaped you. Turning away from him, you shyly continued your work, way too flustered to maintain eye contact.

Another second passed before Jaehyun’s low voice spoke again, “Call me whatever you like.”

Even after that exchange, Jaehyun still felt extremely apologetic for putting you through that on a Friday. He felt so bad that he went out of his way to find your friends to ask for your favorite dessert. The same dessert Donghyuck and Chenle mentioned showed up via owl delivery with the sweetest note on a Sunday morning. You found Jaehyun in class the next week, thanking him for the thoughtful gesture, failing to mention that you saw him frantically fighting a younger student for the last dessert in the case at Honeydukes. The moment remained in your head years later, when you did, in fact, call him whatever you liked.

“He certainly has quite the Bludger, doesn’t he? Jeong is so hot,” you swooned as Jaehyun leaned back on his broomstick, padded arms stretching towards the sky. He snuck a glance towards you, eyes meeting across the way, and you just knew that his red ears were hiding underneath his brown helmet.

Your focus wasn’t even on the game anymore as the seekers dove towards the grass in an attempt to catch the snitch. You had tunnel vision with the student that claimed your heart.

Number twenty-nine of the Gryffindor team, Chaser John Suh, decided it was high time to stop right in front of your stand. His shouting voice was loud enough for your microphone to pick up, projecting his comment throughout the field. “He really does, I’ve seen it with my own two eyes!”

Ripples of laughter moved through the audience like a wave.

“I’d like to take a ride on seventy-seven’s broom, if you know what I mean,” you shot back, eyes trailing said player as he swung his bat to deflect a Bludger.

Fuck, why couldn’t your brain just shut up? You cringed at every single lewd comment that escaped your motor mouth, slapping your forehead repeatedly without end.

As that comment rang throughout the stadium, Jaehyun’s broom shifted in your direction so quickly, the boy almost lost his steadiness. Known for his insane balancing skills, Jaehyun wasn’t one to be easily knocked off his feet; after all, his job in the sport was to maintain his balance while handling his hat to ward away unwanted Bludgers. You, however, were the only one who could make him this way.

Johnny knew it and so did the rest of the Gryffindor team. And as his best friend and fellow teammate, it was Johnny’s job to embarrass Jaehyun, even if it cost their team losing the game. The Gryffindor members grew tired of Jaehyun’s flustered state whenever he came near you. The confidence in him disappeared every time the beater flew past you and Johnny knew pushing the buttons of your thoughts would do the job.

“I think everyone knows what you mean, sweetheart,” Johnny laughed, “I’m sure he wouldn’t be opposed to it!”

“Suh, don’t you dare make me take points away from my own house!” Professor Shim hissed, pointing his wand towards the center of the field.

“Sir, yes, sir!” The Chaser saluted with a grin, zooming back into position.

The game continued with your usual distracted commentary, the animated remarks amplifying tenfold when it came to player seventy-seven, which made the match all the more interesting. For an opening game of the season, it was the closest match the school had seen in years: 210-200 with Slyterin barely in the lead.

“Slytherin Chaser trio–Nakamoto, Ten Lee, and Yangyang Liu–speed their way through in the famed Hawkhead Attacking formation, to force the Gryffindor Chasers aside. A great tactic for the snakes, may I add and OH–Chaser Suh is on their tail, zooming in behind–NO, WAIT–next to them, fast enough to break their tight triangle! AMAZING WORK, SUH! The Quaffle is now in his hands. He’s going towards the other end of the field with Jeong following behind, deflecting all the Bludgers Slytherin throws Suh’s way.” Your eyes never left the dynamic duo as they inched towards the hoops belonging to their opponents. Your vision flitted to your crush, who fell into place right next to Johnny, broom in one hand and bat swinging around in circles on the other. His gaze resembled a radar, grazing the Pitch for the incoming hardballs that were most definitely going to fly Johnny’s way. Jaehyun barely managed to knock out another ball that was aimed to harm Johnny with his bat before the elder took the clear shot in front of him.

“AND HE SCORES! GRYFFINDOR AND SLYTHERIN ARE NOW TIED AND IT’S ALL TO JEONG’S BEAUTIFUL ASSIST DURING SUH’S THROW!” Your fingers pressed on the button of the scoreboard, increasing the number on Gryffindor’s side. Your loyalties were as clear as day. “Jeong, what else can those hands do? I’d try ‘em out for size.”

“Bloody hell, someone please get her off the mic before I do it myself,” Professor Shim muttered more to himself than to anyone else.

“Ah, but where’s the fun in that, Professor?” Donghyuck smirked, the gleam in his eye glowing as brightly as ever.

“Ten points from Slytherin,” the teacher announced, eyes still focused on the game. He swore that particular duo reminded him of the legendary Weasley twins that were in his year during his time at Hogwarts. Donghyuck’ s grin immediately dropped.

“Professor!” Chenle tried to protest.

“Each.” Both Slytherins felt their shoulders sink. They could practically picture the green sand in their hourglass decrease.

There was barely time to chuckle at their misery when a power play occurred right before your very eyes. You felt the two Seekers–Renjun Huang of Slytherin and Mark Lee of Gryffindor–fly past you before you saw them, the athletes riding their brooms faster than the speed of light. There were no questions asked when they were picked to be their team’s representatives. Both boys, although young, were lithe speedsters that were hard to spot with a normal eye. Even the hardcore fans at Hogwarts had a rough time keeping their eyes on their teammates.

“Off the Seekers go, towards the Slytherin’s end of the Pitch, following the Snitch wherever it may go. Whoever gets it first will break the tie and win the game. Lee’s on enemy territory with almost no one to defend him–a bat just hit a Bludger right in Mark’s direction with two Chasers locking him in–AND A QUICK SAVE FROM JEONG ALLOWS LEE TO BREAK FREE AND CONTINUE ON HIS QUEST FOR THE SNITCH! Great work, Jeong! Goodness, I’d kiss you if I could. Hell, I’d do whatever you want me to!”

A collective hiss of your name came from the professors surrounding you but at this point, you didn’t care.

The force of Jaehyun’s swing causes his broom to propel him straight in front of your stand. Jaehyun hovered before you with that dimpled grin and even though the wacky flying goggles blocked his cheeks, you just knew that they matched the color of his Gryffindor uniform. Maybe the surge of confidence came from his plays. Maybe it came from your unending compliments, but it was enough to make him draw his broom closer to where you sat, look straight into your eyes, and say, “Do whatever you want to me. I’d love it all.”

His act of courage caused your eyes to widen, grip the microphone in your hands with whitened knuckles, that you missed Mark Lee doing a deep dive straight for the grass with an outstretched hand, his fingers finally grabbing hold of the Snitch after two hours of flying.

A sharp jab to your side–courtesy of Donghyuck–snapped you back into reality. You were able to guess the results of the game by the way all the Gryffindors surrounded Mark, who was lifted on Johnny’s shoulders. But even as you announced the winners of the game–Gryffindor with 260 points–your eyes did not falter from Jaehyun Jeong. He did not rush to join his teammates. He stayed there, ripping his goggles off his eyes, to look right at you.

Jaehyun reached over to change the score on the board, his face loitering so close to yours. His lips were close enough to taste and the victory glow made him look like an angel in red. Jaehyun’s post-game look, with his messy helmet hair and sweat-slicked skin, was a sight for sore eyes, you couldn’t look away from him. You couldn’t even try.

“How about this Saturday?”

“What?”

“Saturday. You and me. Hogsmeade. How ‘bout it?”

“Really?”

Jaehyun’s pretty grin widened as you questioned him. “Really.”

“Okay, this Saturday. It’s a date.”

Jaehyun backed away to clear enough space to do a quick, nerdy little spin on his Starsweeper, making you laugh wholeheartedly at his cuteness. His broom led him straight to you once again. “I should head over to”–he jerked his head in the direction of his team–“celebrate with the rest of the guys but be my date to the afterparty?”

“That’d be a dream come true,” you admitted, the truth serum still working its wonders.

“Brilliant,” he chuckled in both awe and disbelief. “I’ll wait outside the Common Room for you.”

“Sounds wonderful.”

Jaehyun flew away to join the rest of the Gryffindors, still throwing Mark in the air. He stopped midway on his path, when the crowds around you were thinning out and you were beginning to pack up your belongings. Like acting on instinct, his Starsweeper brought him back to you one more time. He yelled out your name, grabbing the attention of everyone still on the Pitch. They all turned into onlookers as he floated on air. His body was on the front end of the broom, hands resting at the tip and torso leaning towards you.

“One more thing before I go,” Jaehyun said. On his face was a lovesick expression, one that no one else could mimic.

You cocked your head to the side. “Yes?”

Jaehyun closed the distance between your lips with the slightest bit of pressure. You sighed into it, meeting him with a bit more eagerness that had him smiling into the kiss. He pressed another one and then another one, with a strong arm wrapping around your middle and the other snaking up to cup your jaw. It was the best victory kiss he could ever ask for.

His lips lingered and you could still feel his breathing as he balanced on the broom. His lashes tickled your skin before he drew back from your personal bubble. Jaehyun’s whole face was red, from the tips of his ears to the bottoms of his apple cheeks as he flew backwards, the broom already leading the way. “I’ll see you later, alright, lovely?”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world, Jae.”

One truth serum was all it took for you to get the boy. For once, your blabbering mouth didn’t lead you to trouble. As much as you wanted to kill Chenle and Donghyuck for making you suffer, you supposed a thank you was in order as well. After all, they led you to the best feeling in the world, falling head over broomstick for Gryffindor’s all-star Beater, Jaehyun Jeong.

Even with twenty points taken away from your house for your lewd comments and your unexpected public display of affection, it was a great way to kick off another year at Hogwarts. With your mind and heart fluttering like the Golden Snitch in Mark’s hand, you couldn’t wait to see what else was in store.

AUTHOR’S HOWLER. Happy Jaehyun Day, my loves! My Valentine self is back, writing for Jaehyun again. I really missed writing for him <3 I hope everyone enjoys this lil fic. It’s been sitting in my drafts for years and I’m so happy it’s finally being released. I tried my best to make OC sound like Lee Jordan and stay true to the characters in the books. Please tell me what you think!

TAGLIST. @johtenrecs @emmybyeakitty @ppangjae @sokkigarden @kaepop-trash @suhnnyskiess @baekhyuns-lipchain @bebsky @bat-shark-repellant @renjuunsz @ferxanda @lebrookestore @yutaholic @alluringjae @justsayk @itsapapisongo @ashes23 @hyperfixationficrecs @bebskyy @misakiise @iwishiwasthemoontonight @inlovergirlsworld @tyongblr

NETWORKS. @neowritingsnet

#neowritingsnet #cznnet #ankathia #nct scenarios #nct imagines #nct x reader #jaehyun scenarios #jaehyun imagines #jaehyun x reader

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yootaesowlwrites · 7 months

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Aw, Your Legs Are Trembling - Q / Ji Changmin

A/N: I feel like Changmin was a bit mean to reader in this, just a bit, but not enough fo rme to add it to the warnings, so I’ll add it as a side note here for everyone.

W/C: 3.2K

Note: Blank blogs will be blocked. I don’t trust y’all, so make sure you have your age in your bio/desc or something on your blog. Minors DNI.

Prompts: “Aw, your legs are trembling, does it feel that good?” + “Call me ‘Sir’ when we’re alone like this,”

Warnings: CEO!Changmin, employee!reader, explicit language, smut, office sex, window sex, Sir kink, nicknames, nipple stimulation, dirty talk, light hair tugging, nudism, fingering, mention of bruising, unprotected sex(reader’s on the pill).

Age Warnings: I will not take responsibility because you wanted to read this, but if you’re under the age of 18+, DO NOT INTERACT OR READ. Do not take this as educational, this is fiction!

You stretch in your chair and hear a few joints crack from how long you’ve been sitting, it was well past the work hour, but there was a deadline coming up, and you were working late, your boss, Ji Changmin, was also still working late while everyone else had gone home early, the tension had been high in the office as the deadline was creeping closer. You add the final piece of paper to the file he had requested and made your way towards his office.

“Mr. Ji,” You say after knocking, you hear a ‘come in’ from the other side and push the door open. “I have the file you requested,” You close the door behind you and make your way towards his desk, you hand him the file before taking a step back from his desk to let him read through it. As you wait for him to finish reading it, you couldn’t help but move closer to the window and stare out over the beautiful view he had of the city, and the city look especially beautiful at night.

Changmin looks up from the file and looks at you, taking in how you looked standing there observing the view, he puts the file down and loosens his tie slightly before standing and making his way towards you without you hearing, you only realize he had stood once he was behind you, and you could feel his front pressing against your back and his warmth radiating onto you.

“It’s such a good view,” He says, his tone even as he spoke. “It seems like you like it as well,” You try to keep your breathing even, his scent was slowly invading your nose and filling your lungs, and you could feel your conscious slipping into the most nastiest thoughts. “Want a closer look?” And with that question, you move to turn around, only for him to push you up against the glass, front first, he gently moves your hair to the side before pressing his lips against the back of your neck. Your eyes completely shut at how good it felt to finally feel his lips touching you, being against you, you had been daydreaming about this moment for months now, even getting yourself off to the thought of it.

“Mr. Ji…” You moan out. Your breathing becomes uneven and the tension in the room thickens, was this real or were you dreaming?

“Call me ‘Sir’ when we’re alone like this,” He mutters against your neck, his hands pulling at your blouse, pulling it from the skirt you had on before slipping his hands underneath your blouse, your skin instantly being set ablaze by the touch as his hands travel towards your breasts. “Do you consent to what I’m doing to you?” His hands cup your breasts, and you feel his fingers pulling at the top of your bra to pull it down and expose your breasts for him to feel.

“I do,” You moan out. It felt so good to have him pressed against you and touching you like this. “Touch me more,” You didn’t care if you sounded desperate. He tugs your bra down, pushing the cups below your breast before fondling them, you could feel heat travelling up your neck before feeling your cheeks become flushed with heat. “Oh, my gosh,” You press your hands flat against the glass and moments later you feel your nipples touch the cold glass through your shirt. “Fuck.”

“I will, be patient for me,” He mutters. He takes your nipples between the pads of his fingers before slowly rolling the nub between them. “You need to be ready for me first,” You could feel a sensation going down to your pussy as he played with your nipples, his nose brushing against your earlobe before you feel his lips against them. “Do you have any idea how long I’ve waited for this moment?” Your head falls back and rests against his shoulder.

“Fuck, me too,” You breathe out and reach behind you with one hand. You run your fingers through his hair before gripping onto them. “For far too long, Sir,” You feel his teeth nibble at your lobe and his breathing was right in your ear, the feeling quickly travels down to your pussy, and you could feel yourself getting wetter. You push your hips back and press your ass right against his crotch before wiggling your hips. Instantly feeling his cock hardening against your ass.

“Fuck, so needy and eager,” He groans into your ear. “That’s so hot of you,” His words were having such an effect on you and your body, you swore his words alone would have you leaking through your panties. His teeth grip your earlobe and tug on it, making you let out a whimper at how good it felt. You feel one of his hands slide down your stomach before slipping into your skirt and cupping your mound through your panties.

“Oh, my, sir…” You breathe out and tug at his hair. His fingers press against either side of your pussy lips and slowly knead into them, you lick your lips as you feel your juices moving around between your lips. “Feels so good, Sir,” He tugs at your earlobe again before releasing it and kissing along your jaw until he couldn’t get any further.

“How long have you been waiting for this to happen?” He asks as he slips his hand from underneath your shirt, you feel his hand grip your shirt at the bottom before feeling your shirt becoming looser around you as he undoes the buttons.

“A while, sir,” You whisper. “A long while now,” He reaches the final button of your shirt before pushing the fabric off one shoulder and then the other, you release his hair and drop your other hand from the glass to let your shirt tumble to the floor beneath you. “I even got myself off on the thought of it,” You feel his hand on your back before feeling your bra being undone.

“You naughty girl,” He mutters into your ear before removing your bra from you. “Did it work?” You gasp as you feel him push your upper body flush against the cold glass, your nipples instantly hardening against the cold surface.

“Fuck, it did, sir,” You gasp. Your walls twitch as the coldness from the glass spreads through your body and quickly heats up, fog was quickly building against the glass in the form of your body. “But this is better than I could have ever imagined, sir,” His fingers press down hard against your folds, and you feel your juices being pushed past your pussy lips and seeping through your panties.

“So fucking naughty and dirty of you,” He says lowly into your ear. “You should tell me about your imagination sometime,” He reaches up and grips your jaw to turn your head towards him. “But not right now,” His lips press against yours, kissing you hotly. You instantly reach back and grip his hair to keep him from pulling away, he pulls your panties to the side and slips his fingers between your folds, making you gasp into his mouth. Squelching sounds come from between your legs, and you feel his fingers slowly rub around your clit, which caused your hips to jerk at the attention your sensitive clit was getting.

You could feel your lungs quickly running out of air and starting to burn, his grip on your jaw almost felt bruising as he held you in place, tension was building up inside you with everything he was doing to you, with everything he was making you feel. His fingers slide from your clit towards your entrance, and he plunges two digits inside you without warning.

“Hmm-mmh,” You moan into his mouth and grip his hair tighter. His fingers curl inside you and slowly slide out from you halfway before he pushes them back in roughly and extends them, the palm of his hand presses directly against your clit. “HMM!” He breaks the kiss, making you both gasp for air, your lips felt swollen, and you could feel saliva spilling onto your chin. “Fuck Si-sir,” His palm rubbed against your clit as he slides his fingers in and out of you, curling them every few times. “Oh… Oh, my… S-sir,” You reach back with your other hand, and slip it between your ass and his crotch and slowly rub your hand over the prominent bulge.

“Ohh, oh, yes, like that,” He groans out. “Fuck…” His tone was low, and it was making your entire body tense up as your high was building. He pushes his fingers deeper into you and curls them, your back arches as you feel them reach your sweet spot, and you instantly saw stars behind your lids.

“SIR, OH FUCK, I!” You scream out in pleasure, your toes curl into the shoes you wore and a burst of pleasure goes through your body as the tension snaps inside you, your body shakes as you go through your high. “Sir, Sir, oh, fuck, Siiiiirrrrr,” You tug at his hair more and your hand falters against his bulge as you tried to keep rubbing him, but the pleasure felt too good to focus on anything else. “FUCK!” Your legs almost buck beneath you as you feel him rubbing that spot over and over to get you through your high.

“You’re dripping all over my hand,” He whispers into your ear, or at least it sounded like he did, you weren’t sure if he whispers or said it louder. Your body slowly calms do, and you begin taking deep breaths to try and calm yourself down, his fingers disappear from inside you, and you release his hair to press your hand against the glass to keep yourself upright.

“Fuck… Sir, that… fuck,” Were the only words that managed to leave your mouth as you tried to catch your breath and tried to get your spinning mind to work properly again, you open your eyes and look around you lazily. The glass was now completely fogged up around you, except for where your body was pressed against it. You hear the sound of a zipper being undone before hearing fabric hitting the ground along with a ‘clink’ sound, you press your legs together and suck your bottom lip between your teeth.

“It’s about to feel much more than that,” He says. You feel his fingers brush against your skin, you gasp as you feel two cold fingers and realise those were the ones inside you, his fingers dip into your skirt you feel him push it down along with your panties, the fabric hits the floor and you carefully step out of them and use your foot to push them aside, your legs felt a little shaky, and you hoped you could keep yourself upright for what was about to happen. He turns you around and pushes your back against the glass, making you gasp at the sudden cold feeling against your warm back.

You feel his hand on your hip and as it slowly slides down to your thigh before moving to the back of your thigh, his hand grips your leg before he pulls it upwards, you hear a loud squelching sound from between your legs as your pussy lips were spread open as he hooks your leg over his arm.

“Fuck, I, oh,” You whimper as you feel the cool air rushing against your wet hot pussy, you feel him press his hips against you before you feel his cock rubbing against your folds, you reach up to hold onto his shoulder with one hand while the other was against the glass, scratching at it already. “Sir…” You watch as he moves his hand between your bodies before feeling him rub his cock along your folds, lubing himself with your juices. “Oh, fuck, Sir, sir, yes.”

“Nice and wet for me,” He mutters before pushing the tip inside you. Your jaw slacks and you let out an inaudible moan as you feel him slowly push himself into you, slowly stretching your walls and filling you, your nails dig into his skin. “Fuck, taking me so good, fuck.”

“Oh, ngh, fuck, I,” You blabber out, you press your head against the window and let your eyes fall shut, your body immediately begins tensing up again as another high was being formed. He pauses once he was fully inside you, taking a moment to get used to your warm wet walls around him, that were just asking him to fuck you as they pulsed around him. “Sir…”

“Hmm,” He lowly hums before pulling his hips back and slamming back into you. Your tits bounce at how harsh his first thrust was, and you tried to grab onto something, anything with your free hand.

“Siiiirrrrr,” You whine, the sounds, the feelings, it all felt so good and yet it felt so filthy and naughty of you both. “Oh, Ohhh, shiiiit,” Your moans mixed in with his groans bounced off the walls, and you were thankful that it was only the two of you in the office building, otherwise everyone would hear just how good he was making you feel. “I… oh, uhhh,” You could feel a heartbeat forming in your clit and the leg you were standing on was starting to become tired. “Siirr,” He leans closer, pushing your leg even further open and manages to push himself deeper into you. “OHH NGHH,” His pubic bone hits your clit with the deeper angle, and you could feel your legs starting to tremble.

“Aw, your legs are trembling, does it feel that good?” He coos out as he thrusts his hips into yours, hitting so close to the spot that would make you see stars and possibly collapse into his arms from pleasure. “Should I lift your other leg also and fuck you properly against the window?” Your walls clench around him, and he lets out a low groan. “I’ll take that as a yes,” He pushes himself fully inside you before pausing.

“SIIIRR!” You scream as you feel his cock shift inside you as he picks your other legs up, pushing you fully against the window while hooking your other leg around his arm also, his hands pressed into the glass as he spreads your legs more open. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, siiiiirrrr,” Your knees were trapped over his elbows as he thrusts in and out of you, his pubic bone constantly hitting your clit. You could feel your muscles tightening up and your high quickly rushing to build. “SIIR!”

“That’s it, let me know how good I’m making you feel,” He practically growls. Sweat was building between you both, and everything felt hot and sticky. “Milk my cock, cum for me, show me what a good girl you are for me,” His words went straight to your pussy, and you felt yourself getting closer and closer. You reach up with your other hand and grip onto his hair, while your fingers managed to break the skin on his shoulder. “Fuck, yes,” He harshly thrusts into you, and then you feel it. The tension inside you snaps, your back arches against the glass and your toes once again curl inside your shoes.

“SIIIIRRRR!” You moan loudly as you come undone around him. His hips seem to move faster at the feeling and sound of your release, your walls clenched around him, milking him for his cum to fill you. “OH, MY, UHM,” Your chest rises and falls quickly, and your entire body shakes with the pleasure going through it, fuck, it felt so good.

“That’s it, make a mess on my cock,” He groans. His hips stutter into yours as he begins chasing his own high, just feeling your walls clench around him and hearing how good your orgasm made you feel was enough for him to get close to his own orgasm. “Make a mess on my office floor,” You let out a whimper at his words, not realising how much your arousal was dripping down his balls and making a mess on his thighs and possibly on the floors also.

“Sir, sir, fuck, fuck, it fe-feels so go-good,” You manage to moan out, your body was absolutely buzzing with pleasure, and it was a feeling you could barely explain. His hips snap into you and his head falls back.

“Ohh, fuck…” His moan was low as his release hits him, you could feel his cum spilling into you and his hips slowly rocking into you as he eases himself through his high. You were slowly coming down from your high as you felt him go through his, your grip on his hair and shoulder slowly loosened, and you lifted your head, opening your eyes. You blink a few times to adjust to the light before looking at him, his Adam’s apple bobs as he breathes in heavily and his hair was uneven from all the tugging you did to it, beads of sweat coated his neck, and you could see some patches of sweat against the white dress shirt he had on.

“Fuck… I, this, it… good,” You mutter as you feel his hips still against you and his cock stills inside you as it slowly grows soft. He lifts his head to look at you, taking a moment to gather his thoughts and catch his breath.

“Let me take you home,” He says and slowly lowers one of your legs to the ground before the other, you lean against the window as you feel your legs shaking. His cock slips from you and your mix releases spill from you, coating your inner thighs. “Such a pretty mess,” He takes a step back before turning around to pick up his underwear, you swallow as you watch him pull it on. What did this mean for the both of you? You watch as he pulls his pants on and zips up his pants before fastening his belt, he lifts his head to look at you before stepping towards you, he bends down to pick up your skirt. “Did I leave you in such a daze you forgot how to dress yourself?” Your lips part and you look up at him. “Hold onto my shoulders, and I’ll help you,” You reach up and grip his shoulders before lifting one leg and feeling him slip your skirt over it before switching sides. He pulls your skirt up to your waist before picking up your panties and tucking them into his pants pockets. “This is mine now.”

“Sir, I…” You begin to say. You push yourself away from the glass and feel the mess between your legs slipping down your thighs. “I’m going to need that,” He picks up his blazer and slips it on.

“It’s late, let me take you home,” He says and makes his way towards the door, you swallow and follow behind him, fuck, the mess between your legs was so fucking distracting, how were you supposed to keep yourself composed, and sit in his car… Sit in his car… without.

“Sir, your seats…” You softly mutter, hoping your words would convince him to give you your panties back, but it is like he hadn’t heard you at all and continued walking. Moments later, you found yourself in the passenger seat, pressing your legs together as you felt the mess seeping into your skirt and possibly leaving a mess behind on his seat.

148 notes · View notes

flwoie · 1 year

Text

PROM WITH WHO?

cover designed by the lovely @giantkeroppi

AN UNEXPECTED PROM REJECTION LEADS TO GOING WITH THE TWO WORST PEOPLE ON THE PLANET

・❥・ SYNOPSIS ➸ Prom is one of the best events of the year, especially when you have someone to go with. After getting ditched at the last minute on the night, you have two choices for your date: your ex or your enemy.

PAIRING ➸ ex! jake x f! reader x second-lead! enemy! heeseung

GENRE ➸ smau, crack, fluff, angst if u look closely, enemies to friends, exes to lovers, love triangle, highschool au (00s, 01s & 02s are portrayed as juniors) (reader is an 02), one-sided pining (heeseung), mutual pining (reader & jake)

WARNINGS ➸ profanity, just bomin getting kicked out of the gc every chapter (yes that’s a warning bc it’s an unfunny joke 😭) each chap has its warning

FEATURING ➸ enhypen jaemin of nct shuhua of gidle bomin of golcha mentions of tbz (changmin, sunwoo & hyunjae) but portrayed as a hs band

NOTE ➸ THIS SMAU IS PURE FICTION, ALL THE IDOLS MENTIONED IN THIS DO NOT REFLECT WITH THEIR ACTUAL LIFE AND CAREER. THIS IS A NON-IDOL ALTERNATIVE UNIVERSE

STATUS ➸ discontinued :(

╰┈➤ START 03/26/23

╰┈➤ END …

SONATA SPEAKING ➸ so i got inspo from an instagram post so why not make this a series, this would’ve been great as a written series but yk how i am with written series 🤥🤥 (sorry mr puddles) BUT who wouldn’t love heejake smaus (sorry heeseung…)🔥🔥 and yes the og title was this or that but i hated it so…

☆ playlist — «on days like this, i miss you»

DATES ❥ interlocking toes club 💐 bonk playerzzz

ONE — no date 🤣🤣

TWO — got a date

THREE — super cool prom night > written

FOUR — raging 😹😹

FIVE — doing my job, trust the process

SIX — IM A FORTUNE TELLER 🔥🔥

SEVEN — everyone loves tbz 😊

EIGHT — e etb. rjur. a.

NINE — i can;,;t,ttt,\ttttt,

374 notes · View notes

zzoguri · 9 months

Text

[part two] of linked arms and bruised hearts (you are the reason i keep on going) ➵ ji changmin

non-idol!ji changmin x reader, slight non-idol!jacob bae x reader

you and changmin have been best friends since high school, having seen each other at their best and worst. now in your second year of university, you are given the opportunity to work with the unattainable 5th-year you have had a crush on since—jacob bae. with your best friend on the receiving end of your rambles, you could only hope for something to come out of your time working with jacob. that is until changmin decides he wants something more out of his relationship with you.

genre/warnings ➵ friends to lovers, slow burn, so much FLUFF, afab reader (they/them pronouns), mentions of suggestive dreams, a lot of publication talk (sorry i am a writer), sunwoo is a STILL a shithead, a lot of sentimental talks between changmin and reader, so much platonic love in general!!, feelings are so weird, a lot of flashbacks, going back home for the winter break </3, too domestic (not for the faint of heart), if denial is a river in egypt then reader is SWIMMING in it, i'm afraid to say that reader is stupid (and can changmin just not hear?)

word count ➵ 27.7k words

parts ➵ check out the series masterlist

taglist ➵ @deoboyznet @kflixnet @blankjournal @winterchimez @sungbeam @miusgirl @jenoscafe

a/n ➵ expect some crazy realizations to happen! anyway, it took me three weeks to deliver this?? crazy!! i expected to only post two parts but i don't think tumblr can handle 45k words in one post </3 along with that, i wanted to get this out before i officially enter my 3rd year in uni!!! please expect for the third part to be delivered a little later since i need to prioritize my academics and newspaper work (and possibly another oneshot involving a kim sunwoo... oops?) hope you enjoy the CRAZY slow burn my lovelies. i would really appreciate it if you could take the time to like and reblog this post and the other parts!

want to be part of my taglist? send me an ask! main masterlist

Since Changmin had dreamt about you, he found himself unable to talk to you. Everything reminded him of you; the songs he would listen to on the way to school which you introduced him to; the cafe he would spend his free time in where you two usually studied; even phrases he would hear people say that you tend to frequent when speaking. It did not help that you were somewhat blowing up the group chat more than usual.

With all these reminders of you, Changmin always found his mind drifting back to the view of you in his dream. He has never seen you as a potential crush—let alone found you attractive. After all, he knew you when you first wore boxy glasses and cringe graphic tees (to which you donated).

You were never someone he desired. And yet, when you straddled him and said his name as if it were laced with nectar, you never left his mind. The imaginary tension between you two made him weak to the knees. And just from the fictional distance of your face from his, he could feel his breath hitch at the scenario constantly playing out in his head. That dream only pushed him to face thoughts he was not willing to entertain.

Over the days, you two have not been able to hang out. While he was trying to find ways to avoid you, you understood it as him being busy with his other obligations. That is until you spot him on campus.

Done with his last class for the day, Changmin exits the building with his eyes locked on the bus stop—his one ticket back home. He only cared to be snuggled into his sheets that were newly washed and fall into the shackles of a nap. That is until he hears someone call out his name.

As he looks for the source, his eyes land on you who is seated on one of the picnic tables with your laptop out. The moment you shoot him a smile, flashes of his dream play out; the way his name rolls off your tongue; the sensation of your breath that hovers over his lips; the legs that caged him in place. And suddenly, all he could do was point his thumb in the direction of the athletics center before he bolted. He could only hope that you do not cross paths with anyone from the dance team.

Clearly bummed out about not being able to spend some time with your best friend before your night class, you let out a sigh. You understood that he had a dance practice to worry about. With the way he seemed frazzled, it made sense that he was rushing to meet his team on time. That is until you are surprised by Sunwoo’s appearance at your table an hour later.

“Yo!” He greets you before taking a seat across from you, a bottle of green juice in his hands. “What are you up to?”

With a frown on your face, you ask, “Don’t you guys have practice?”

You are greeted by your best friend’s confused face before he brings out his phone. “I do?” He asks himself as he scrolls through it.

“Yeah, I saw Changmin like an hour ago and he seemed like he was rushing to the athletics center,” you sigh as you fix the document’s format that had your notes for the next class. “Unless I understood him wrong. I don’t even know, he kind of pointed somewhere and disappeared.”

Sunwoo hums as he types away on his phone. As he scratches the back of his head, you notice his expression shift into an all-knowing one. “Oh, it’s just for him and some other members. I think they’re just practicing a certain segment,” he shares before stowing his phone away.

“Anyway, I just remembered I have some work to catch up on so I’ll see you tomorrow or whenever!” And the next thing you know, your best friend left as quickly as he came. You stare at Sunwoo’s figure which continued to get smaller before he was out of sight. Before you could think much of his odd behavior, you were hit with the reality that you needed to attend class.

“Okay, you need to fess up on why you’re avoiding Y/N,” Sunwoo says as he enters Changmin’s room with a small yawn following.

Currently, Changmin is rolled up in his sheets as he scrolls through YouTube shorts on his phone. The sudden appearance of his best friend only made him frown. He did not expect to have Sunwoo pester him today, but he remembers the conversation he had with him through text not too long ago.

zzoguri 🦝: are u at the dance studio? zzoguri 🦝: did coach change the plans? i thought today was our break qramzi 🐿️: yea there’s no practice zzoguri 🦝: okay so why did y/n just say you went to practice? qramzi 🐿️: i don’t want to talk about it zzoguri 🦝: spill or i tell them qramzi 🐿️: yah! can’t i have my own secrets? zzoguri 🦝: you can have secrets but i don’t know why you’re lying to y/n qramzi 🐿️: ugh fine qramzi 🐿️: i’ll tell you when i see you

“Sunwoo, couldn’t this wait until tomorrow?” Changmin groans before shooting his friend a glare. Sunwoo plops on his bed while he still wears his outside clothes, making him even more furious. “Yah, Kim Sunwoo! I just washed these sheets.”

He only shrugs and says, “Okay, that doesn’t matter. Now, tell me!” Changmin sighs over his best friend’s persistence.

Fully aware that Sunwoo was not planning to leave any time soon, he found himself pausing the shorts. He sat up and bit the inside of the cheek.

Out of all the people he had to talk to about this dilemma with you, he did not feel comfortable revealing it to Sunwoo—the one person who knew you inside and out. Who could blame him? Having to talk about his dream about you to your best friend since grade school put him in a spot where he was seriously debating on which situation is better: this or being eaten whole by a shark?

That is until Chanhee walks into the room with his eyes on his phone. “Changmin-ah, there’s this–oh, Sunwoo! You’re here.” His eyebrows shoot up at the sight. “Did I interrupt something?”

His appearance is only to be taken as a gift from the universe. With a victorious smile playing on Changmin’s lips, he shrugs before saying, “No, I was just telling Sunwoo that I’d see him tomorrow.”

But the man was not going to make this easy for him. “He’s avoiding Y/N.” As soon as those words leave his best friend’s (read: traitor for life’s) mouth, Chanhee gasps as he stares Changmin down.

“What?! Why?!” He says as he takes a seat on the bed. Sunwoo shrugs and points at the guy who was constantly dodging their questions.

Now under the scrutiny of his two best friends, Changmin had no choice but to answer. His hands seemed bound even if no visible ropes were holding them down. He scratches the back of his neck and says, “Just, don’t judge me. And don’t tell Y/N.” The two only give him a look as if he stated the obvious.

Changmin knew he could trust these two with any secret and trouble he faced. In the times he desperately needed to talk about stuff that should never concern you, he always found himself talking to them. However, them seeing his reluctance had them worried about what might have gone down between you and him.

“It’s just… this dream; it felt so real for a second,” he starts as he plays with the loose ends of his blanket.

And not even a second passes when Chanhee exclaims the words, “Oh my god, did you have a sex dream about Y/N?!” He eyes him up and down.

“W-what? No!”

“Oh, I see why you’ve been avoiding them,” Sunwoo chuckles, ignoring his best friend’s protests.

He grows frustrated as the two continue to jump into assumptions. “No, that’s not it! Won’t you let me finish?!” As soon as the two pipe down, he lets out a sigh.

“Nothing happened like that. We just… almost kissed,” he whispers those last words. This icky feeling he can only think of as shame starts to take over his limbs. But when hears a laugh leave Chanhee’s mouth, he furrowed his eyebrows.

“Almost?” Chanhee smacks Changmin’s arm. “Then why are you so tense? If nothing happened, then it shouldn’t be something to worry about.”

Sunwoo shakes his head before sharing his two cents. Clearly, he wanted to play the shithead in a situation like this (like he always does).“No way, I’m starting to think Changmin is developing a crush on Y/N.” He gives the stressed-out boy a teasing smile. “Aren’t you?”

“W-what?! No! I’m not, what the fuck?”

From his panicked answer, Chanhee shakes his head with a small smile on his face. “See, then it means nothing,” He attempts to calm the situation down as he stands up from the bed. “It’s normal to just have dreams like that. It won’t mean much unless you put meaning into it.”

His best friend is right; it is normal to have nonsensical dreams. Changmin has had dreams about outrageous events such as Gana (his pet poodle) learning how to talk, his sisters deciding to move back into the family home, and even coming face-to-face with his celebrity crush. These dreams are not always manifestations of what he desires—which is why he does not understand why he is still riled up about some dream where you two almost kissed.

“You know, Chanhee is right. I like to tease and all but it is normal,” Sunwoo starts off. “But you shouldn’t be avoiding Y/N because of it. It’s not fair to them, you know?”

All Changmin could do was hum as he looked down at his hands. Once again, his best friend is right; there should be no reason for him to avoid you when you did nothing wrong.

“I know. It all just felt weird, and I think I needed to find some time to get over it.” As he admits that to his friends, he is only met with their smiles.

“You’ll be fine,” Chanhee reassures him before ruffling his hair. “Just remember that it’s just Y/N. There’s nothing to be afraid of.”

It is easier said than done for Changmin to go back to his usual antics with you. No matter how many times Chanhee tried to reassure him, it felt like something was holding him back—the idea of you reading right through him. It is not like you know all his thoughts. But if he stood before you, he felt like he would be at your mercy—letting you know all of his desires without any chance to rethink his actions. That is why when you approach him and Sunwoo during lunch, he is thrown off guard.

It is not like he was not expecting you to see him. After all, the spot they were staying in is in a corner on campus where the friend group would spend breaks together. It is an old picnic table whose wood was covered in old graffiti and smudges. Changmin was sure that this table was the last old one on campus for its wood is discolored as sand. Placed in a secluded area on campus behind the athletics center but still close to the publication room, it became the perfect spot for your friend group.

Sunwoo looks up at you in the middle of slurping his ramyeon noodles as you set your hands down on the table. Unlike your usual collected look and happy-go-lucky nature, the two noticed your disheveled appearance; eyebags are unseemly heavier than usual; shoulders slouched from how fatigued you have been.

“Are you okay?” Sunwoo decides to ask as soon as you take a seat in front of the two. You only let out a groan before your head rests on crossed arms. Without having to hear a verbal answer from you, your two best friends shared a look of worry.

Changmin has to swallow his shame; he needs to know what is going on with you. He could not let a dream hold him back from checking up on you, especially at a time when you needed him the most.

So his hand reached out for your arm, rubbing it ever so slowly. “Hey, what’s up?”

As you let yourself look up at your two friends whose faces were full of concern, you let out a sigh. “I’m just stressed out. You know, it’s November already so I’ve got some heavier projects to accomplish.”

“And I’m assuming the pub work is added stress,” Sunwoo chimes in before taking another slurp of noodles.

You nod and say, “Yeah. Right now, Jacob’s schedule is entirely different from mine so we’ve been working separately for the most part.” As soon as your chin rests back on your crossed arms, you let out another sigh and stare off into nowhere. “I miss him,” you shyly admit to the two.

It was to be expected for you to miss Jacob. During your first coverage together, he helped in alleviating the stress that came with it. From his smiles and encouragement to his exquisite way with words, he made every minute feel like a breeze in summer. But surprisingly enough, you felt like you could breathe without him around.

Sunwoo rolls his eyes at your reveal. “Aish! Of course, you do.” With your eyes preoccupied with whatever caught your attention, he looks at Changmin and gives him a subtle smirk. All your best friend could do is stop comforting you to smack the other.

Interrupted by Sunwoo’s whine, you look back at the two and frown at the sight of him grabbing onto his arm while Changmin continues to eat his bibimbap. Before you could ask, Sunwoo looked at his phone.

“Ah, that’s the time already?!” He quickly gets out of his seat and shoves his phone into his pocket before grabbing his empty bowl of ramyeon. “I’m going to be late for my class!”

“What class?”

“3D Character Animation,” he answers Changmin with a groan following. As soon as he notices his best friend who only has a look of desperation plastered on his face, he could only hold back his giggle. “I’ll see you two!”

And with that, Changmin is left alone with you—the one who has occupied his mind since that night. The realization of him spending time with you for the first time since that dream came to him was starting to sink in. With no moment to swallow his shame, he let his eyes trail down to his bowl of beef, rice, and stir-fried vegetables.

“So, how about you?” Once you ask the question, all he does is shrug before taking a big bite of his food.

It is not unusual for your best friend to not be in the mood to talk, but you noticed something was off about his behavior. Since that one day he rushed to the athletics center, you could not shake off this odd gut feeling—it felt like something was eating you up inside. Yet, you could not pinpoint the reason behind it.

You have always felt confident in your friendship with Changmin. There has not been a grave instance where he seemingly threatened it. No matter how many times you quarreled over small details throughout your friendship, you two knew to trust each other wholeheartedly. But as soon as you bumped into Juyeon that same day, your anxieties turned into something real.

As soon as your night class was dismissed, you quickly made your way out of the classroom. The talk about inverted pyramids and ledes in your journalism class only made your head hurt. All you could think about is your sweet home that had the soft bed you wish to pass out on. The headphones you wore blasted the sweet melodies of “1 to 10” by DAY6—your pick-me-up song on days like these. Clearly drained from the day, you were hoping no one would bother you on your way to the parking lot.

That is until your eyes land on a boy who you have grown familiar with from short interactions on campus and at parties. “Oh, Juyeon!” You call out as you move your headphones to hang around your neck.

The boy who you were going to cross paths with looks in your direction. As soon as his cat-like eyes recognize you, he gives you a smile and jogs towards you. “Hi, Y/N. I didn’t expect to see you around here.”

“I usually park by the athletics center.”

Juyeon nods as he lets out a hum. “Did you just come from class?” After you nod, you decide to ask him the same question. “I just came from the dance studio. You know, practicing for the competition coming up.”

“Oh, were you with Changmin?”

That is when you are met with an answer you were not expecting. “Actually, there was no practice today. Coach let us have a bit of time to rest but I wanted to practice.”

When Juyeon reveals that, you cannot help but feel the anxiety start to pool in your stomach. To be fair, you might have misunderstood him when he rushed out. Changmin did not owe you anything, but you still cannot stop the ill feeling brewing inside you.

“Oh, I see,” you force a grin as you say those words. “Good luck, by the way! Rooting for you and the rest of the team.”

Juyeon gives you a smile with eyes squinted. “Thank you! I hope to see you in the crowd.” With that, you parted ways. You do not allow yourself to cry.

Ever since that day, you have not seen Changmin. In those weeks, you allowed your mind to come into every possible assumption—what if he is getting annoyed with you? What if he is struggling with his own problems? What if he just wants to be alone?

You wanted to respect him and his space, but the more this behavior kept on going, the more you allowed yourself to be ripped up by the speculations your anxiety-ridden mind has crafted. It did not help that you figured out that Sunwoo was covering for him on that day—the one guy you so desperately wanted to seek comfort in. And who is to say that Chanhee would not cover for his best friend as well?

Now with no one to go to, you allowed yourself to dwell on ideas surrounding Changmin’s avoidance. But you knew you had to swallow your pride.

“Ji Changmin.” As you call out his name in a tone he rarely hears, he looks up at you. It is rare for him to hear you say his full name like that—almost as if his mother is about to scold him. But he knew that this is not a case of standing guilty before his mother; it is a case of you calling attention to the elephant in the room.

“Let’s talk,” you say those words easily despite the crushing weight on your heart. For a moment, you let your words hit him. So when you see him finally drop his spoon down on the bowl, you realize he was ready to talk.

“Changmin, I need you to be honest with me.” You swallow down the lump in your throat—almost as if you were trying to get rid of the anxiety. “Are you avoiding me?”

As soon as you ask that question, Changmin shakes his head quickly with eyes full of worry. “Oh god, Y/N. I’m not. I-I didn’t mean to come off that way.”

“So you aren’t?”

Changmin sighs before he lets his hands reach toward yours. As he grabs hold of your hands, he says, “I mean, I just needed some time away from you.” Before you say any more, he interjects, “But not in the way you may think of it to be. It’s completely all on me—you did nothing wrong.”

“Then what’s wrong?” As soon as you ask him that question, you are met with silence. His eyes trail down to your linked hands. “Changmin,” you call out so that he looks right back into your eyes. He does not.

You shake your head and free one of your hands from his grasp. Your hand reaches out for the underside of his chin so that you could lift his face. And with that action, Changmin feels his breath hitch.

With his eyes locked with yours and your hand holding his chin delicately like a freshly sprouted flower, he feels like he is transported back to his dream. Every action you seemingly do only reminds him of his fantasy of you. It does not help that your worried eyes looked like your nervous ones in his dream.

“Hey, are you okay?”

Once the question leaves your mouth, Changmin snaps out of his trance. He leans a little backward so that his chin slips out of your grasp. “Yes, sorry. It’s not because you did anything wrong.”

“Okay, but why avoid me then? You know you can talk to me, right?” And he knew that more than anyone. You have always offered him a place for him to talk no matter what it may be about. He did not owe you to share his thoughts, but he is forever in debt to you for opening such a space.

He sighs as he finally lets go of your hands. “It’s… embarrassing,” he whispers the last word with shame overtaking his body once more.

“It can’t be that bad,” you attempt to reassure him only to be met with him avoiding your gaze. “I mean, what’s there to be embarrassed about with me? You’ve known me my whole high school life—it can’t be worse than that.”

For a moment, Changmin contemplates. You had every right to think that way, but you had no idea of his intimate dream with you. He knew he could get out of this. And yet, he found himself defenseless against you.

“God, I can’t believe I’m saying this,” he whispers to himself. As he notices a frown appear on your face, he shakes his head. “Just, please do not judge when I say this.” Your frown stays, curious to hear what he has to say. “Before anything, I respect you, okay?”

When he says those words, you cannot help but let a chuckle slip out. “I know that, don’t worry.”

“Yes, but… ugh, I don’t know how to say this,” he mutters as he thinks about the best way to share what has been bothering him.

You reach out once more for his hand and hold onto it. “Changmin, it’s fine. Rip the bandaid out—for the both of us.”

He hesitates for a second. With the way his eyebrows are furrowed and his eyes filled with guilt, you can tell he was struggling to get the secret out. Before you could say any more, he spoke.

“I had this dream,” he waits for you to say something. When you do not interrupt, he takes it as a signal to continue. “It had you in it.”

It takes you a moment to process his words. Yet, before he could say more, you found yourself saying, “Oh.”

“Wait! It’s not what you think!” He blurts out before you could assume anymore. “I swear, I did not have that type of dream about you.”

When you decide to not interject, he takes it as an opportunity to continue. “God, it’s just that we almost… you know… kissed,” he whispers that last word as if it were a sin with downcast eyes.

“Is that why you’ve been avoiding me?” You finally ask him, earning a nod.

Silence then settles between you two. For a moment, he does not know if he should say something or if he should let it sit with you. There were so many thoughts traveling through his mind—he only expects you to be disgusted by him. And yet, your hand still held his.

For some reason, you cannot help but laugh at the revelation. Changmin finds himself looking up at you only to be met with your shaking head which is accompanied by a small smile. “God, you’re that worked up over an almost kiss?”

As soon as you ask that question, he is thrown off by your casual nature. It is as if you did not understand the gravity of this. “W-what? You wouldn’t be?” He is only met with you shaking your head once more.

“No, dumbass,” you chuckle as you retract your hand from his and ruffle his hair. “There’s no reason for you to get so embarrassed over a dream. It’s not like you can control it… unless?”

“Why would I want to kiss you?!”

The way Changmin physically reels as he says those words make you laugh. “See! Then your dream means nothing.” You smile as you let your chin rest on your arm that is propped up on the table. “If it helps, I’ve dreamt about you too.”

Your best friend cannot hide his shocked expression. The idea of you dreaming about him is something he has never entertained until your reveal. “You have? About what?”

“Secret.”

“Hey, I told you mine!”

You can only laugh at your best friend’s behavior. “I’m assuming you told Sunwoo, right?”

“Yeah,” he sighs. “He cornered me into telling him and Chanhee when he heard from you that I was “practicing.” It felt so weird to tell him.”

“Well, that’s Sunwoo for you. If it helps, he was also the first person I told about my dream of you.”

Changmin pouts at you while your grin remains the same. “I thought we were best friends.”

“Yeah,” you look at him up and down. “Until you decided to avoid me over a dream!”

“Okay, fair point,” he admits with a sheepish smile. “But I ended up telling you! Why won’t you tell me yours?”

You roll your eyes over his childish behavior and say, “Because mine is far more embarrassing than an “almost kiss” that you seemed to have with me.” With those words, he cannot help but be curious.

A frown now plastered on his face, his mind runs through every possible dream that could be more embarrassing than his. Nothing could possibly beat his dream of you—until his mind lands on a particular idea. With a small chuckle leaving his mouth, he asks, “Did you have a sex dream about me?”

“No.” The way you blurt out the word ruins the cover you built. And there is no way to save yourself from this mess.

“Oh my god, you did!” He exclaims with eyebrows raised over the revelation. “When did you have it?” When all he receives is an eye roll from you, he decides to push further. “C’mon! Like you said, my dream does not mean anything as much as yours doesn’t.”

You sigh out in frustration before you frown at the boy across from you. “First year of college—it was after I saw your recital where you performed “BOSS” by NCT,” you shyly admit as you avoid his gaze. Although you refuse to look at him, you can feel how his eyes bore into you.

“Really? You liked that fit on me?” He asks smugly to which you groan. “I’m kidding!” You roll your eyes once more as you let him finally take some spoonfuls of his bibimbap.

The silence that settles on you two is surprisingly comfortable. Despite the awkward revelations that came on both ends (most especially on yours), the stillness of it all does not make you sit in embarrassment.

“Thank you, though.” You finally look back at him. “I mean, thank you for telling me,” he says with a shy smile on his face.

Changmin has always been the type to keep his feelings to himself—the one to hide his shame away. You have always known that since you first knew him as Sunwoo’s friend. But you also knew that leaving a space for him to talk gave him opportunities to be vulnerable with you—all he needs is a little reminder.

You let out a sigh. “Just don’t avoid me like that again.”

“I won’t.” Changmin nods as he finishes his bibimbap. “Aren’t you going to eat?”

As you shrug, you are met with his frown. Before you could say anymore, you felt your phone buzz. While he observes the way your face shifts from exhaustion to pure euphoria, an ill feeling starts to poll in his stomach. “Nevermind, I’m going to grab lunch with Jacob.”

When those words slip out of your mouth, a weight is dropped right on top of his heart. The last time he felt like this was when Hwang Hyunjin was offered the center position for one of the routines that he was aiming for. He hates this feeling—why did he feel this way over how you mentioned Jacob’s name?

“You are? I thought your schedules were completely different,” he murmurs before his eyes drift back down to his bowl.

“Yeah, but he just texted asking if I wanted to grab lunch with him. Hopefully, we can work on the article after so that my life is easier.” You smile while you text away. Changmin only allows himself to hum.

“Are you okay if I go? Or do you want me to wait for you?”

When you ask that question, every part of him wants to tell you to stay. In the time he has avoided you, it is only now that he is starting to realize how much he missed hanging out with you. Every part of him only wanted to hold you close to him—to forever link arms with you every second of the day. But this is Changmin we’re talking about—he would never hold you back from what you want to do.

He shakes his head with a small smile as a cover-up. “No, you should go. I know you miss him.” As he sees your grin, he cannot help but feel his heart being tugged harshly.

“Thank you!” You exclaim as you get off your seat. “I’ll update you!” And with that, you left your best friend. Now, he is left with thoughts and feelings he wishes to not entertain.

Before you met up with Jacob, you made sure to cover up your fatigue (thank god you brought some makeup) by hiding your dark circles. In contrast with the exhausted look that Changmin and Sunwoo previously saw, you presented yourself as you normally would when going to campus.

Now, you stand in front of a restaurant whose specialty lies in Korean fried chicken. Once you entered, you noticed that there were only a handful of students from your university. Other customers were those dressed in button-ups and slacks while some came in casual clothing.

As you look around, you spot the 5th-year who types away on his phone. The sight of him never fails to warm your heart. You walk towards him and greet him with a smile, “Hi, Jacob.”

When his eyes land on you, he flashes you that all-knowing smile (god, you will always be defenseless against him). “Oh, hi! Please take a seat.” He stashes his phone in his pocket. As soon as you take a seat, he says, “I already ordered the fried chicken and kimchi-jjigae just a few minutes ago, so it will probably be here soon.”

“Ah, thank you so much! I haven’t eaten the whole day,” you admit as you scratch the back of your neck. While you take a gulp of water, Jacob speaks up.

“You haven’t? Well, we’re gonna make sure you eat lots now,” he smiles at you which has you almost choking on your water—just almost. When you place the cup back down, you show him a shy smile.

Your relationship with Jacob has been complicated. Ever since that fateful night when he asked about your relationship with Changmin, something in the air shifted—it felt as if the aura he emits is different. Although his innocent praises stayed, he started to tell you things that made you melt from the inside out. From “Good job with the draft!” to “I like what you did with your hair today,” you did not know what to make of this new dynamic with him.

Still, a part of you wanted to hold back from pursuing anything. Despite getting to know him during the weeks you two worked together, you found yourself still valuing all his thoughts about you. In your mind, he is still the 4th-year who you idolized when you first entered the publication.

“So, how are you?” You try to shift the conversation. “Have your professors been assigning you some heavy projects?”

Jacob nods and hums in affirmation. “I expected to have more free time since I’m in my 5th year. But surprisingly, my academics still take up a huge chunk of my time.” He sighs as he looks down at the table. “With my internship and the publication work, my schedule has been cramped.”

“I can only imagine.” And you only really could. You have always anticipated your senior year to be hectic as when Changmin and Chanhee were juggling their priorities the summer before their 4th year. The two never really got to enjoy that summer; they dreaded every day until the start of their senior year.

“What about you? How’s the final leg of the semester treating you?” As Jacob asks the question, you could only sigh. He could only chuckle. “I’m assuming it’s not going well for you also.”

You let out a groan before complaining, “Professors have this tendency to assign due dates for heavy projects before the actual finals season. I mean, I get it—they’re trying to do us a favor so that we can focus on actual finals but literally every prof is doing that.” As you were going on a tangent, you noticed Jacob starting to smile. “I just think that professors could have easily spaced out the workload.”

Before you could ask about what he is smiling about, an old woman comes to your table with a bowl of kimchi-jjigae and a basket of Korean fried chicken. Your stomach grumbles at the sight. As soon as she sets the two dishes down, she smiles and coos at the boy in front of you, pinching his cheeks. “My Jacob, I didn’t know you were having a date!”

Once those words leave her mouth, your eyes widen in shock. You could feel the heat rise to your cheeks all while Jacob smiles at the server. “Ah halmeoni, thank you for preparing such a good meal.” He does not make an effort to deny your lunch being a date—the butterflies start to swarm in your stomach.

“Of course, my sweet sweet boy.” She finally stops pinching his cheeks and smiles at you. “Please enjoy your date.” Before you could protest, she left the two of you to serve the other customers calling her.

You cannot find your voice. Somehow, you were scared to let a sound out in fear that your voice would crack from how the woman described this lunch. It did not help that Jacob went along with it. And what made you melt even more is when he poured you a bowl of kimchi-jjigae and placed a piece of chicken on your plate.

When you stare at Jacob who pours himself some stew, he only shoots you that godforsaken smile. You may not know what you want with Jacob at the end of all of this. But one thing is for sure though—you wanted this feeling to remain.

It is 10:34 PM. You are seated in your living room watching an episode of Bluey while your laptop remains abandoned. During times of stress, you always found yourself watching this show for comfort. Its digestible plot and heartwarming nature found in each episode worked for your weak heart. That is until you hear your doorbell ring.

You were not expecting a delivery—let alone anyone at this time. As you got off the couch and walked towards the door, you peeked through the peephole only to see your best friend dressed up in a white shirt and grey jogging pants.

As soon as you open the door, you ask, “Changmin? Why the hell are you here?”

The last time you saw him was two weeks ago—the day you confronted him about his avoidance. Your friend group was preoccupied with hell season (read as “professors assigning heavy projects”) and extracurriculars, preventing you four from hanging out.

It was a miracle that you and Jacob managed to wrap up your article on drinking culture amongst students just a few weeks after Halloween. Now, you two were rushed into finishing the joint article on hustle culture in student organizations so that it would be published in time before finals season comes.

In Chanhee’s case, he was assigned more coverages aside from the ones he had to work on with you two. He always swooped in on time to film and capture the moments and left as quickly as he could to handle his other duties. It is crazy how you two are in the same publication but barely see each other.

While you and Chanhee have been preoccupied with publication work, Changmin and Sunwoo have been practicing non-stop for their competition happening tomorrow. They have spent almost every night in the dance studio going over the same routine countless times; sweating through every shirt they had; exerting every muscle in them; enduring every bruise that came from dancing. That is why you do not understand why Changmin stood before you when his competition was happening tomorrow.

“I’m here to check up on you,” he says as he takes his shoes off and sets them aside before taking a step into your place. You close the door and frown at the boy who was making his way to your couch. “You’re watching Bluey? Now you need to tell me what’s going on.”

You sigh as you make your way beside him and plop down on the couch. “I’m just taking a break from work.”

“Is it the same one from last time? The drinking culture one?”

“Nope.” You pop the ‘p’ sound as you grab your laptop. “It’s about hustle culture in orgs,” as you say those words, your best friend could only chuckle. “Why? What’s so funny?”

He raises his eyebrows at you. “Don’t you think it’s funny how you’re writing about that when you have been working like crazy for the newspaper?” As he points it out, you only roll your eyes. “I know you’ve been writing non-stop, so why don’t you just take a break?”

You firmly shake your head and say, “I can’t; my break was watching Bluey.” While you type away, you could feel your best friend start to rest his head on your shoulder as he watches the show without you. Oddly enough, you felt all the knots in your body untie themselves—it was as if Changmin helped alleviate the stress by simply being present.

The episodes play out while you work; searching up synonyms for basic words like “say” or “work”; typing out phrases that sound right; deleting every unnecessary word to save you on characters. After two episodes ended, you could feel your best friend tug on your arm. You look to your right to see his concerned eyes. “C’mon, you can work on that tomorrow. I don’t want you to overwork yourself tonight.”

You only show him a small smile. He is right. Over the past weeks, you have found yourself staying up countless nights to balance your academics and publication work. Your friend group is well aware of this (since you have messaged them during the late hours), and they would always remind you to take breaks. Yet, you never did allow yourself to listen. A part of you felt like you needed to work every minute.

When you decide to not say anything, Changmin takes it as a sign to get off the couch. “C’mon, let’s go to the mart downstairs. You really need to take a break.”

“But–”

“No.” He grabs hold of your laptop and pries it away from your hands. As you whine, he only shakes his head. “Y/N, I know you. If you keep this up, you’re going to get sick. So for once, just listen to me.” Your best friend’s persistence is something that you could not battle against. And after you let out a sigh, you find yourself getting off the couch.

Now, you two were sitting inside the convenience store located on the ground floor of your apartment complex. While you ate away on your cup of ice cream, Changmin was munching on some bread with red beans in it.

“Aren’t you not allowed to be snacking late at night before your competition?” He only hums as he watches you chew on the wooden spoon. “Are you nervous about tomorrow?”

He shakes his head and says, “This isn’t about me—I’m here to ask about you.” You can only sigh over his behavior. Being put under the spotlight is something you always dread, especially when it comes to your own problems. Changmin, of all people, knew this—but he only corners you when it is necessary for you would only bottle it all up.

“What about we talk about everything?” When you are met with a frown, you whine, “Changmin, you know I hate it when I talk about this shit alone. Let me at least hear you out.”

For a moment, he remains frowning at you. But just like him, you are persistent. He sighs before giving in to your request. “Fine, shoot.”

“How are you feeling about tomorrow?”

He gives himself a moment to think over the question before answering with, “Oddly enough, I feel a bit more confident about the competition tomorrow.”

“Hey, that’s good!”

He chuckles as he looks down on his bread. “I know. I mean, a part of me is still nervous but I feel like it would be good to end this on a good note.” He finds himself smiling as he looks out the window. “I’m just hoping we secure that win, you know? Considering that I have several center parts–”

“Are you really trying to flex that right now?” You scoff as you twirl the wooden spoon.

“I’m just saying.”

“Whatever, you’re not all that.”

“Do you see me commenting shit like that every time you talk about getting clean closes on your articles?”

As soon as your best friend looks at you, he is greeted with a frown on your face. “You always do. Be so for real right now.”

“Just because you always talk about it! Let me have my moment,” he says which only has you rolling your eyes. “But continuing before you interrupted me, I still want to do well. I want to win for my team—let the mark I leave be a good one.”

You understood where Changmin was coming from. Even if he talked about being a bit more relaxed, you knew that this competition still mattered to him as a graduating senior. His passion for dance is something you do not usually see from anyone. At the end of everything, he wanted to prove that his love for this activity is something to be acknowledged—all the time he has spent dancing is something worthy to commemorate.

“Hey, and you will,” you say as you bump shoulders with him. “I know you will do good.”

He lets a chuckle out. “I know I will do good when you’re there.”

“Calling me your lucky charm then?” You smirk as you chew on your wooden spoon. When you do not hear him say anything, you turn your head to look at him only to be met with his small smile.

“Yeah, I do.” Just like a bonfire on a cold night, his words warm your heart. You never expect him to go with it. And yet, the way he says the words so easily almost makes you smile.

In an attempt to not feed his ego, you roll your eyes and face away from him to hide your expression. Before you could say any more, he spoke. “Now that we talked about me, let’s talk about whatever you have going on.”

You sigh as you look out the window. “I don’t know. I mean, it’s just the stress of everything, you know?”

“Okay, so tell me about it—go through what’s bothering you one by one.” When he says those words, you cannot help but feel your heartstrings tug. It is during these times that you remember Changmin’s constant aid when you found yourself struggling in silence.

Despite being the talkative one in your friend group, you never liked to dive into your troubles. If anything, you liked to be the person who people went to for comfort versus the person who vents their struggles. Even in your early years of being friends with Sunwoo, he has known you to be the type of person who would discredit their problems. That is why it is not rare for you to sweep your difficulties under the rug. And every day, you always appreciate Sunwoo for being present in the moments you need him the most.

Funnily enough, the same goes for your best friend. Changmin was fine with talking about anything and everything unless it concerned his problems. He was the type of person to lock himself away in his low times—hide away so that he burdens no one. And yet, his walls would always break when you came into the picture. Because at the end of everything, you want to be the shoulder he can lean on. And just like you, he does the same for you.

Somehow, the universe gifted you someone who knew you from the inside and out—one who pushed you to the necessary limits that you needed to reach in order to grow. You could only hope he felt the same towards you.

Under his gaze, you finally found it within yourself to speak. “I don’t know what to feel.” You find yourself looking back at Changmin only to be greeted by his nod. “I mean, I don’t know what to feel about Jacob.”

You do not miss the way he frowns as you say the 5th-year’s name. “Go on,” he urges you to continue.

“I feel like–god, I don’t know how to say it.” You let your eyes trail back down to your cup of ice cream. “Ever since that Halloween party, I feel like something changed, you know? Like he’s still sweet but I feel so hyperaware that he might actually reciprocate whatever I’m feeling about him.”

Changmin only hums before he takes a bite of his bread. As soon as he swallows it down, he says, “You’re not happy about your crush showing some interest in you?”

You shake your head before admitting, “Crazily enough, I feel more scared.” You do not allow your eyes to meet with his. “Like, I love the feeling of spending time with him. But when I remember what he said at the party and all the other times he has said something almost flirtatious in nature, I feel myself freeze up.”

“Okay, why do you think that?”

You find yourself shrugging. “I feel like I still think of him as the 4th-year that I first found myself crushing on when I entered the publication. A part of me still puts him on this pedestal who I idolize versus a friend who I’ve gotten to know during my weeks working with him.”

You hate that it turned out this way. Every part of you wants to jump head-first into whatever you and Jacob have going on. And yet, you can never push him off the pedestal—almost as if he is forever rooted in that place. You are about to say more until you are met with a question that you do not expect.

“Do you, I don’t know, ever see yourself with him?” Once your best friend asks that, you cannot help but stare at him. “I know it’s a lot to consider.”

“No, you’re good,” you mumble as you let yourself look back out the window. “I… don’t know. Oddly enough, I don’t think I can see myself with anyone.” As soon as those words leave your mouth, you allow your eyes to meet Changmin’s which are only filled with worry.

“You don’t?”

It has only occurred to you that you have never mentioned this thought to him. Despite the many times you rambled to him about all your short-lived crushes, you never really had anything progress past that stage—let alone saw yourself pursuing them.

“Yeah, it’s weird,” you found yourself saying after finishing your last spoonful of ice cream. “To me, I’ve grown so accustomed to the idea that all my crushes will stay as crushes, you know? That’s what I’m familiar with.”

Silence engulfs you two for a moment. You let Changmin process what you just shared with him. But when you realize that he was not going to say anything, you chose to continue. “I have gone my whole life just doing work that I find it hard to even imagine a future where I’m not working.” You find yourself sighing. “Is it odd to think that I feel like I am put in this world for the sole reason to work?”

It is supposed to be a hypothetical question—until your best friend answers. “Y/N,” he calls your name out before his hand finds its way to yours. “You are more than your accomplishments, you know that right?” You look at him with eyes full of shock. There was not enough time for you to think of an answer as he continued to speak. “You are deserving of love—you always have been.”

You feel his hand grip yours a tad tighter. His fingers held your hand as if you could easily slip away. You knew it was his way of wanting you to hear him out—to believe his words.

It has been something you noticed since your second year in high school. You can remember the first time you finally started to pick up his small habits—from the way he likes to link arms with you to the way he tends to hit whoever is beside him whenever he is excited.

It is rare for him to firmly grip your hand. In the same way you would reserve these types of talks to be mainly with him, you could only hope that it was an action he reserved for you.

“I know that you may have gone your life under the impression that no one wants you in the way you hope, but there are people who love to have you in their lives. I know you value your work because I do too, but you aren’t just some commodification of labor—you are a burst of energy for Chanhee; a familiar presence for Sunwoo; a place of solace for me.” The more he continues with his tangent, the harder it gets for you to find the right words to say.

Somehow, he reads your thoughts and says, “I’m not saying you should dive in with whatever you have going on with Jacob hyung without understanding what you want from him. But I think you should at least entertain the idea that you can possibly have something with him.” He takes a moment to sigh as he draws circles on the back of your hand. “I just don’t want you to hold yourself back from getting something that you have deserved for so long just because it’s unfamiliar.”

And deep inside, you knew Changmin was right. He has always been the type to remind you that you do deserve happiness—whether it may be in whatever career path you decide to set on or hobbies you wish to pursue. And yet, you still hold yourself back from attaining something that stands right before you. Are you really part of the list of people who deserve happiness?

But you know that if you say anymore, the conversation would spiral down further. “I just,” you take a deep breath as you bring your linked hands closer to you. “I–I don’t know anymore. Maybe I just need time to just figure out whatever the fuck I’m feeling,” you chuckle as you look down at your hand that intertwines with his.

“And take all the time you need,” he whispers. Once you look at him, his gaze never falters. In those eyes you have grown accustomed to, you allow yourself to be exposed to him in ways that no one will ever have the privilege of seeing.

Your best friend smiles at you and says, “Come on, it’s getting late. I’ll bring you back to your place.” Once he stands up, he grabs your empty cup and wooden spoon with his plastic wrapper from the bread and throws them into the trash bin.

The walk back was silent—nothing needed to be said for you two were content with being in each other’s presence. When Changmin drops you off by your door, you smile at him. “Thank you for tonight. It kind of felt nice to have it finally out.”

He gives you a small shrug and says, “I’m always here to help you carry your burdens.” You cannot help but feel your heartstrings tug.

Before he could say more, you wrap your arms around him and pull him into a hug. He feels himself stiffen at the sudden action. And when he realizes that it is you who initiates the hug, he melts into it.

It is not rare for you two to hug—for you to initiate them, however, is a once-in-a-blue-moon experience. Although your best friend loves physical touch, it was never something you sought out. The most you ever did was link arms or hold hands—for you to bring him into a hug was unexpected.

As you feel his arms wrap around your waist, you allow yourself to release a shaky breath. Even if you were not a big fan of physical touch, a hug like this one will always bring you immense comfort. “Thank you,” you whisper into his shoulder. All he does is continue to embrace you.

Once you let go of him, he does the same. “I’ll see you tomorrow, my shining star.” As you say those words, Changmin cannot hide the smile that shows on his lips.

“I’ll wait for you, lucky charm.” You smile before entering your apartment. The moment the door shuts close, he starts walking away while fishing his phone out of his pocket. He dials one of his best friends and brings the phone close to his ear.

After three rings, he hears a groan from the other end of the line. “Changmin, it’s late. What do you want?” Sunwoo complains in his groggy voice.

“I think I’m fucked.”

“Ok–”

“I think I like Y/N.”

Changmin is met with silence. For a moment, he thinks Sunwoo hung up on him. That is until he says, “Expect me at your place in ten minutes.”

When you wake up, you expect to feel sluggish. But as soon as you start to feel your body ache, you realize that today was not going to go as planned.

“I don’t think I can make it,” you groaned out to your best friend who was on the other line as you waited for the thermometer to finalize its results regarding your temperature. “God, I’m so annoyed.”

“Aish, this is what you get for staying up so many nights!” Chanhee scolds you as you set your phone on speaker mode.

While you roll your eyes at his reprimanding, you hear a beep emit from the thermometer placed under your arm. Once you took it out, you could see that your temperature is at 39°C. You scratch the top of your head and say, “Fuck, I am sick.”

Unbeknownst to you, Chanhee was in the dance team’s dressing room seated near Changmin as he was getting his makeup done. Changmin furrowed his eyebrows at his best friend who was on call with you. “What’s wrong?” He whispers only to earn no response from Chanhee.

“God, don’t tell Changmin I’m not there,” you say as you store the thermometer away on your bedside table. You grab onto your phone to double-check if Chanhee was still on the line.

He attempts to joke and says, “Oh, so I can tell Sunwoo?”

You roll your eyes even if he cannot see your reaction. “Obviously not. I just–right now, they should not be worrying about me. It’s a big deal for them, especially Changmin.” As you whisper your best friend’s name, you could feel the guilt eating you apart. After last night’s conversation, you knew he would not be able to rest easy knowing you are sick. “Can you think of an excuse? Like maybe just say I’m running late?”

“I don’t know if I can,” He admits as he stares at the topic of the conversation who only has a look of concern. Before Changmin could say anything, he waved his hand at him. “Do you need me to book a delivery for you? Do you have some meds?”

As you peer over to your bedside table to look through the drawers, you notice some acetaminophen pills sealed up. “Yeah, I have enough to last me around three days.”

“I’ll bring some more when I visit you. What about soup?”

You sigh. “It’s okay; I can handle it. Just make sure to cheer them on for me.”

Chanhee bites on his lip as he stares back at Changmin who was starting to connect the dots. Based on the one-sided conversation, it was starting to make sense in his head what was going on—not only could you not make it to the competition but you were sick.

“Okay, I’ll see you later?” Chanhee finally asks. As soon as you hum, you decide to end the call. While you were under the impression that Changmin had no clue of your absence, the reality is that he was well aware of what was happening.

“They’re sick,” Changmin mutters to himself as he looks at himself through the mirror while Park Seonghwa, one of the makeup artists that work closely with the dance troupe, continues to pamper him.

His best friend sighs as he types away on his phone. “They don’t want you to worry about them. Just focus on the competition and we can visit them after.” As he said those words, Changmin could feel the anxiety start to brew within him; his heart started to feel heavy; his palms were getting sweaty; it almost felt like the walls were going to collapse on him.

Chanhee starts to notice that Changmin was drifting into a headspace that they wanted to absolutely avoid. “Seonghwa, can you excuse us?” Once the makeup artist nods and walks away to work on someone else, Chanhee quickly stands up from his seat and walks behind his panicked friend before holding onto his shoulders.

“Hey,” he calls out as he catches Changmin’s attention through the mirror. “I know that you’re worried about Y/N, but they’ll be fine. All they have is a fever. You though, you need to focus on your competition.”

“Okay but Y/N has never missed any of my competitions.”

Chanhee chuckles. “And you’ll be fine. You can always tell them about your win after, and I can record it just to show them.” But the thing is his best friend does not get why Changmin is worried about your absence.

He has been nervous about the competition since the morning came. But the idea of you being there provided him with immense comfort that he could tackle this. Without his lucky charm, he almost felt defenseless.

“I know you like them and all–”

“Huh?! That’s not the point!” Changmin quickly exclaims to cover up what Chanhee just babbled out. He whispers, “That’s not something you should be saying out loud.”

His best friend attempts to apologize. “Sorry! I just never see you act like this, so I thought all of this was coming from the fact that you like them now.”

Changmin only sighs as he looks back down to his hands that play with the hem of his shirt. “I don’t usually act like this because Y/N has always been present for every competition. And never once did the teams I joined place anything lower than silver.”

Chanhee cannot help but pout at him. “They’re almost like your lucky charm, is that it?” When he does not say anything, the best friend only sighs. “I don’t know if this will help, but why don’t you at least try to win without them? Instead of worrying about your missing lucky charm, take this opportunity to win this for them—for you, especially.”

Unbeknownst to the two, Sunwoo overheard a part of the conversation before he walked up to them. The two were briefly surprised by his sudden appearance. “Hey, you two,” he starts off before holding onto his best friend’s forearm who was seated on the chair.

“Changmin, I know you’re worried. If anything, I am too. I used to treat Y/N as my lucky charm since. They’ve been present for not only the dance competitions but my soccer tournaments in grade school.” He looks at Changmin with worried eyes. “There was this one time where Y/N didn’t show up because they got sick as well. On that day, I had a foul shot that caused the team’s chance to win.”

He sighs at the memory, remembering how much he cried to you on the landline. “In their comfort, they told me this: “You don’t need me to achieve the heights you’ve dreamed of.” And I think a part of me realized then that I put so much faith in someone who was only supporting me on the sidelines. At the end of everything, they want you to believe in yourself.”

As Sunwoo shares his memory with you, Changmin cannot help but think over the words you told Sunwoo. It is true that despite the skills he had, he always found himself second-guessing his capabilities as a dancer. And during the times he found himself doubting his abilities, you were always there to remind him of his worth. Not only did you do that for dance but even when you two still worked together for your high school’s publication.

“Yeah, what matters most is that you win this, especially for yourself—this is your dream. No matter what happens, we will always be proud of you. We know how much time and effort you put into dance, and we’ll always marvel at what you do,” Chanhee speaks up. Since the conversation happened, Changmin finally found himself showing a small smile.

“Ah, there’s that smile,” Sunwoo points out, which only has Chanhee giggle. “C’mon, let’s just focus on making sure we get through this without any injuries. Win or lose, we still did well, okay?” Sunwoo raises his fist for his best friend to fist bump. Once he does so, Sunwoo smiles.

Chanhee smiles at the sight of him and his two best friends huddled together through the mirror. In the time he has gotten to know your friend group, he realized that all the bantering is just a coverup for how much love is shared between you three. Despite the quarrels and internal struggles, your friend group always remained firm in the idea that to love is to reestablish each person’s independence.

No matter how many times you three believe you cannot survive without one another, the reality is that the achievements achieved are all due to each person’s capability—it is just nice to know that there will always be people to support you from the sidelines. As Chanhee was dragged into your friend group, he found himself cared for and supported in every aspect.

He leans his head on Sunwoo’s shoulder as he continues to hold onto Changmin’s shoulder. Although Sunwoo was startled by the sudden movement, he noticed the smile on his best friend’s face. “You guys will be okay.” And with those words leaving Chanhee’s mouth, the two could not help but feel a heavy weight on their hearts be lifted.

Sitting on the couch in your living room, you were all wrapped up in a blanket as you tried to type away on your laptop. Not only were you disappointed about missing Changmin and Sunwoo’s performance, you were stressed about your article’s due date which was two days from now.

Despite how sick you felt, you still needed to work on the task at hand. It almost felt as if the upcoming deadline was breathing down on your neck. You would hate to cause an inconvenience for both your editor and co-writer.

Your phone vibrates. Expecting to get a call from the delivery person who was bringing some samgyetang from your favorite restaurant, you see Chanhee is calling you. As soon as you answer, you say, “How did it go?” When you are met with a sigh on the other end of the line, you could feel your heart get heavy.

“Y/N, I don’t know where Changmin is.” You feel yourself sit up straight as your best friend reveals that information. “The competition didn’t turn out well—they ended up placing last out of the five groups who participated.” Your eyes close in sorrow.

For a moment, you hear some muffled sounds until another voice speaks up. “As soon as they revealed the results, he left,” Sunwoo let out a sigh. “We’ve been trying to contact him but it keeps going straight to voicemail.”

“We’re planning to check the athletics center first and the picnic where we usually hang out before deciding to check back at my place.” Once Chanhee says that, you let out a hum. “Do you have any other places in mind that you think he’d be at?”

“Uh, I think the park near your apartment complex would be good to check out,” you start off. As you tried to think of more places, you felt yourself hitting a mental wall—you were too worried about your best friend. “I-I don’t know where else he could be.” As you whisper those words, the unbearable weight on your heart is accompanied by claws that make it ache.

You could hear someone sigh for a moment. “Okay, if you ever think of more places, just message us. Tell us also if you get a message from him,” Sunwoo tells you.

“And don’t go looking out for him. I mean it.” Every part of you wanted to argue with Chanhee. But with his harsh tone, you realized there was nothing you can do in this state. He is right, you are sick—now is not the best time to go out.

While you tried to process the news, you were starting to blame yourself for getting sick. Especially after last night’s conversation with Changmin (and how he thought of you as his lucky charm), you could do nothing but feel guilt swallow you whole.

“Okay,” you finally whisper back. And somehow, your best friends started to notice how worried you were with how you said that one word.

With a sigh, Sunwoo says, “He’ll be okay. It was just a bad day.” Before you could say more, he cuts you off. “And it’s not your fault.” You feel your bottom lip quiver. “The other teams just presented a better performance in comparison to us—we would have never expected it. So don’t carry the blame, lucky charm.” As he calls you that term, your heart aches.

When you were first called that by him, you could remember the joy you felt. You loved to support your best friend in any way you can, even if it meant being treated as the one reassuring presence that made him feel like he was guaranteed success. But what came with being a lucky charm was also the burden of the title—having someone put all their faith in you when you had no control almost felt anxiety-inducing.

So when Changmin coined that term on you, you could not help but experience that feeling once more. That is until you learned that your absence was as coincidental as their team losing in the said competition.

“Take care, alright?” As soon as Chanhee says that, you let out a hum. The call ends and you are left to stare off into the open space in your living room. Yet, not even a minute after, you hear the doorbell ring.

You stood up from the couch with your blanket still wrapped around you as you sluggishly walked towards the front door. When you swing it open, you expect to see a plastic bag filled with containers of the food you ordered. But when you see Changmin with a sorrowful expression holding onto the said plastic bag, your breath hitches at the sight.

Just at the sight of him, you decide against saying anything. With his shoes off, you only take a step to the side so that he could enter your place. You shut the door right after he enters and walk slowly to the boy who was placing your food on the kitchen counter. He was dressed up in an all-black outfit you could only presume to be the same outfit he performed in a few hours ago.

The silence is deafening; you are too afraid to let out a sound. As you watch your best friend keep his composure while he tries to prepare your food, dark limbs consume you and push you into a hole of guilt and sorrow. While he was still struggling to come to terms with placing last, he still was going out of his way to take care of you.

You took some steps forward so that you could be closer to him. While he opened containers containing samgyetang, kimchi, and more, you stood right behind him. And before he knows it, he feels your arms wrap around his waist and hug him from behind.

With that one simple action, he stopped whatever he was doing. You let your chin rest on his shoulder as you look down at his hands that were starting to tremble. As soon as you notice his head start to dip down, you knew he was going to cry. All while his body started to shake, you could only hug him.

“It’s okay,” you finally whisper to him.

It is rare to see Changmin cry. During your time growing up with him, you can only remember a few times when he shed a few tears; due to stress from school and his internship; when Gana went missing for a few days; times when he was frustrated with a choreography he could not get the hang of. But with the way he was shaking, you were not expecting just a few tears.

As soon as you spin the boy to face you, you could see tears streaming down his face. In an attempt to stop the waterfall and any wails, he bites on his bottom lip. And you realize that Changmin desperately needed to be cared for. You pulled him into another hug so that his face was snuggled into the crook of your neck.

With your best friend sobbing, you held him close. In these times, you started to understand what he meant last night—you are a place of solace for him just as he is for you.

Over the days you were sick, your best friends have been taking care of you—Chanhee mainly handles your medications, Changmin cooks or orders food for you, and Sunwoo takes your temperature and helps you out when it comes to using the bathroom.

Due to your physical state, Sunwoo had to tell Kevin that you were sick and unable to fully deliver in time for your deadline. As soon as he revealed that your editor would help Jacob in taking over for your assigned parts, guilt consumed you since you burdened them. But they were insistent on making sure that you got enough rest.

Stuck in bed, you were watching another episode of Knowing Brothers on your iPad while Sunwoo was scrolling on his phone. Your two other best friends were out of your place busy doing some groceries for you and themselves. As you watch the crew continue to joke around, your phone vibrates. Upon grabbing it, you notice a notification from Jacob.

Now sitting up, your eyes widen at the sight of his name. “What’s wrong?” You hear Sunwoo ask. While you ignore him, you decide to open up the conversation.

cobcob 🐰: hi y/n! i hope you’re okay :] please don’t stress about the article. you did a lot and i’m glad i got to work with you this semester!! cobcob 🐰: hopefully we can work together again for the second sem 💗 cobcob 🐰: or even hang out outside of student journalist duties :] y/n: thank u jacob </3 im very sorry about this T__T y/n: i will make it up to you by treating you to lunch! cobcob 🐰: don’t treat me to lunch!! it’s fine 💗 cobcob 🐰: instead, let me take you out

The moment you gasp causes Sunwoo to get closer to you and peer over your shoulder. Before you could scold him, he gasps as well. “DID HE JUST ASK YOU OUT?!”

“YAH!” You shove your best friend away. “I didn’t even allow you to read my conversation!”

“Oh my god, Y/N! Who cares! How much has progressed between you two?!” He exclaims as he starts shaking your arm. “Have you been keeping secrets from me?!”

You roll your eyes. “I haven’t! There’s just not much worth mentioning,” you admitted shyly.

“Liar,” your best friend says with a frown. “I bet Changmin knows everything.”

“He does.”

Sunwoo gasps and shoves you. “I was joking! But now that I’m finding out that it’s true, I’m hurt. I thought we were besties.”

You let out a sigh. “Then I’ll tell you. But I swear, it’s not much to begin with.” As he raises his eyebrows at you, you take it as a sign to continue. “I told you about what happened at the Halloween party, right?”

“Something happened?!”

You give him a shy smile. “Oops?” Your best friend gasps once more and smacks your arm. “I thought I told you!”

“Well, you didn’t! Does Chanhee know?” When you do not answer, your best friend frowns. “I cannot believe you are keeping secrets from me!”

You laugh and say, “I’m sorry! I’ll give you a full recap—no details will be left out.”

With that, you decided to tell him about the events that happened during Eric’s Halloween party to your supposed informal “date” over fried chicken and kimchi-jjigae. As you told the story, your best friend would gasp and smack your arm every time you revealed a new detail. Sunwoo cannot help but be impressed by how much had gone on.

“I still can’t believe you decided to not tell me.”

You pout in an attempt to earn his forgiveness. “To be fair, we weren’t hanging out much because of different schedules. And I don’t know, I wouldn’t think too much about it until… now.”

It is true—you were trying to find ways to believe that this is just Jacob being friendly. It felt impossible to believe that your crush was trying to pursue you. But with his most recent message, you started to realize that you were blind to his advances after all.

“Well, did you reply?” As soon as your best friend asks that question, your eyes widen. You quickly take a look back down on your phone to see some unread messages from Jacob.

cobcob 🐰: if you don’t want to though, it’s fine! cobcob 🐰: just let me know 💗

“Oh god, what do I say?” You ask out loud as you point your phone towards Sunwoo.

Your best friend groans and says, “You are hopeless!” You frown as you face your phone back toward you. “Do you want to go on a date with him?”

“Yeah,” you shyly admit.

“Then you know your answer!”

You raise your hand to stop him from saying any more. “Okay, but I was telling Changmin this the other day that I don’t know what to feel towards him.”

“Okay, what’s the problem?”

You sigh as you look over the same message. “Honestly, I don’t know. I feel like I still idolize him, and I don’t know if I really connected with him during our time working together.” You look up to your best friend. “Like he’s nice and I really enjoy talking to him, but I really do think I put him on this pedestal. I would like to think of him as a friend, but a part of me still sees him as the senior I had a stupid crush on.”

Sunwoo only hums as he thinks over your words. “What did Changmin say?”

“He was saying I can take my time figuring it out really.” Your best friend hums once more.

“I don’t think a date will do any harm,” he starts off. “I mean, it might help you figure out what you want after all. And it’s not like you need to figure it out then and there.”

Your best friend had a point; you could go on a date without any expectation to understand your feelings after. You let out a sigh before looking down once more at your phone. Once you type out your message, you send it without looking back.

“Done!” You exclaim as you let yourself fall back down on the bed. “Can’t believe I’m going on a date with him.”

Sunwoo only smiles at you before he goes back to his phone. Unbeknownst to you, he messages Changmin about what just occurred between you and Jacob.

It is 3:34 PM. It has been a few hours since you replied to Jacob’s message. Now, you and your three best friends were watching 2 Days & 1 Night in the living room while waiting for the food to come.

You were wrapped in your blanket as you rested your head on Changmin’s lap while he rested his hand on your shoulder, rubbing it in a circular motion. With your eyes still trained on the television screen, you remain unaware of all the glances and smirks your two other best friends were shooting at Changmin.

“What do you guys have planned for winter break?” You decide to ask as you continue to watch the variety show.

“I’m going to Pyeongchang with my family,” Sunwoo shares as he looks at you and Changmin.

“My family hates snow, so we’re going to Malaysia.”

You hum at Chanhee’s answer before turning your body so that you could face Changmin. “What about you?”

“I think I’m just staying at Cheongju. My noonas are coming back home for the winter.”

You gasp as you sit up and say, “Yuna and Hanhee are coming home?! Oh my god, I miss them!”

During your high school years growing close with Changmin, his sisters have grown fond of your presence. Despite the age difference, Yuna and Hanhee have taken care of you as much as they do with their brother. You ended up being part of the Ji family with how much they cared for you during your years in high school.

“Yeah,” he says with a smile. “I haven’t seen them since 2nd-year winter break.”

Before you could say anything, Sunwoo decides to ask you a question. “Oh yeah, aren’t you supposed to be going to Japan for the break?” You shake your head before resting your back on the couch.

“It didn’t push through because my parents are going to be out of the country for a business trip,” you sigh. “I’m just going to be here rotting.”

“Really? You don’t have other relatives to spend the break with?” Chanhee asks you.

You shake your head with a sigh following. For most of your life, your parents have been attentive to you. However, when you started going to university, they grew busier due to more demand and obligations. You do not hold it against them for having to cancel the winter break plans—it had to be done and you knew there would be another time to go to Japan.

“Why don’t you try spending it with Changmin’s family?” Sunwoo suggests which makes you snap out of your thoughts. Before you could say anything, he says, “I mean, the Ji family does love you. What do you think, Changmin?”

You turn your head towards Changmin whose eyes were trained on Sunwoo and eyebrows furrowed. “I don’t want to intrude, really. I’ll be fine–”

“No, it’s okay,” your best friend cuts off. As he looks back at you, he shoots you a smile. “I’m sure my family would not mind having you for the winter break.”

“Are you sure? I don’t mind staying here.”

Changmin rolls his eyes and says, “It’s okay, we love having you in the house.” You allow yourself to smile. “I’m sure they would love to see you after 2 years.”

With that, he wraps his arm around your waist and brings you closer to him. You rest your head on his shoulder and continue to watch the variety show playing on the screen, unaware of the smirks your two other friends had.

“Oh god, am I mixing this right?”

Jacob peers over your shoulder and looks at what you are doing. As soon as he sees the mess, he cannot hold back his laugh.

You exclaim as you look back at the boy behind you. “Are you laughing?!”

“You’re fine! It’s just that I thought you overmixed but it’s very undermixed.”

Before you continue with the task at hand, you roll your eyes. “I barely bake, okay?” You shoot a playful glare at the boy who stood beside you who was mixing up the frosting.

“And I don’t bake, too!” He attempts to defend himself and then nudges your shoulder. “But you have to admit, this is fun.” You cannot help but smile.

It has been a week since Jacob asked you out on a date. You were able to recover from your fever thanks to your friends (which was honestly just an excuse for them to have a slumber party at your place). It was fun though—you kind of miss having them in your place.

Now, you were in a bakery that Jacob would frequent. He grew closer to the couple that runs it due to his visits. And somehow, he managed to reserve the kitchen for only you two to use (under the supervision of the owners, of course).

You could not lie—the date is cute. It is not the usual “dine-and-talk” that you have heard some of your friends go on. When Sunwoo went on his first date back in high school, you could remember how you and Changmin helped him plan it out.

“I don’t know what to do!” Sunwoo exclaims as he looks through his clothes. He moved every hanger, unsatisfied with every piece of clothing he had.

You and Changmin were lounging on Sunwoo’s twin bed with homework out while your best friend was having a dilemma. “I still can’t believe you managed to ask out Soojin,” you voice out as you were scribbling down the scientific names of common flowers. You nudge Changmin and ask, “Is this right?”

He takes a peek at your homework and lets out a chuckle. “You misspelled it. It’s Leucadendron—not Lucadeldron.” You roll your eyes as you erase your mistake.

“Science is not for me,” you say as you write the correct spelling.

“Yeah, well we all knew that,” Sunwoo mumbles under his breath as he still looks at his closet.

“Yah!” You grab a pillow and throw it at the guy. “Don’t you want us to help you?”

He turns around and frowns at you and Changmin. “I do, but you two aren’t even trying!” He points at the papers scattered on his bed. “How are you helping me if you’re studying?!”

Changmin sighs before dropping his pencil and getting off the bed. “Okay, what do you have in mind for tomorrow? Do you know where you’re going to take her?” As soon as Sunwoo shakes his head, you could only laugh in disbelief.

“You don’t have an idea?” Once you ask that, his eyes throw daggers in your direction. “I’m just shocked! To be fair, you have liked this girl since, so I thought you had something in mind.”

“Unfortunately, I don’t,” he sighs as he takes a seat on his bed. “This is terrible! I don’t want my first date to go bad.”

You and Changmin share a look as Sunwoo continues to wallow in anxiety. The two of you knew how much this means to your best friend. Who would not panic over going on a date with their long-time crush—let alone a first date? While Sunwoo was lost in his thoughts, Changmin pointed at his closet, giving you a silent signal that he would take care of his outfit.

“Okay, we’ll help you!” You scoot closer to Sunwoo and rest your hand on his shoulder. “Does she like to play board games? You can take her to the board game restaurant we always go to.”

“She doesn’t like playing board games.” He scratches the back of his neck. “She’s very competitive, and you know me.”

You sigh as you watch Changmin pull out a nice button-up shirt. “Well, does she like the aquarium?”

“She’s scared of fish.” As he says that, you tilt your head in confusion. “I don’t know. She once mentioned that she’s scared of the glass breaking.”

“Okay, can’t judge her entirely for that,” you chuckled under your breath as you thought about it more. You look over at Changmin who now holds three different hangers of clothing and decide to joke. “Changmin, do you have any ideas? Perhaps you’ve gone on a date?”

Your best friend looks over at you two as he still holds up some hangers of clothing. “Uh, yeah.” As he says that, your eyes widen in shock.

“You have?!” Sunwoo exclaims which has Changmin rolling his eyes.

“I was a sophomore when I went on a date with someone from the math honors society,” he answers as he raises a pair of jeans to envision the look he has in mind.

You gaped at him, in shock over what he revealed. “Goddamn, I thought you were bitchless.” Sunwoo cannot help but laugh beside you.

“Hey, that’s a good one.” As the two of you high-five, Changmin frowns.

“Yah! I’m not gonna give date ideas. You two figure it out,” he says as he continues to flip through whatever is in Sunwoo’s closet.

“No! C’mon, please! We won’t bully you anymore,” Sunwoo begs, only to be met with a sighing Changmin.

He looks over at the two of you once more who sat on the bed. “What does she like?”

Sunwoo hummed as he thought it over. “Well, she likes books, music, scrapbooking, and food.”

“Hm, you could bring her to the antique bookstore that Y/N and I always go to,” Changmin suggests only to earn a frown from Sunwoo. “Oh, I forgot that you hate reading.”

You tongue the inside of your cheek. “Well, you could also opt for a picnic date with some scrapbooking?” Your best friends look at you with eyebrows raised. “I mean, I should have some extra materials to spare since I stopped journaling.” When they continue to stare at you, you frown. “Jeez, don’t take my suggestion!”

“No, it’s good!” Changmin quickly says as he hangs the clothing pieces on the door for them to see. “I think this fit would be good for a picnic—fresh look!” The look is a navy blue collar shirt and a white tank top paired with beige jeans.

Sunwoo hums at the sight. “Damn, you guys are good with this, especially you,” he says as he looks at you.

Your eyebrows shoot up in confusion. “Me?”

“Yeah.” Changmin walks to the bed and goes back to answering his homework. “I wish I thought of doing that with someone,” he mutters under his breath.

You shrug and roll over. “To be fair, it’s something I would like. I don’t know if it is up Soojin’s alley, but it's worth a shot!”

Before you and Changmin could go back to work, Sunwoo jumps on you two which has you groaning. “Thanks, by the way. Once you guys go on future dates, I’ll help you out.”

You could only laugh as you continue to write some nonsensical names. “The day I go on a date is the day we know that nothing is real. Ain’t no way I’m finding love.”

And a few years later, you still could not believe you are on your first official date. Sunwoo did pull through; picking out some clothes; telling you what to do; easing your anxiety for the most part. You would have looped in Changmin for this but he was busy with schoolwork as finals season is approaching.

Since your best friends took care of you, you have not heard from him in a while. All you would get were short responses and excuses about why he could not talk or see you. You do not hold it against him though—he needed this time to focus on his thesis anyway.

“There we go!” Jacob exclaims as he looks over at your mixing bowl. “That looks good. We can pour it into the baking pan.” Once you nod, he moves the tray closer for you to pour into. Ever so slowly, the mixture created beautiful folds. The sight alone made you hungry.

“I’m so tempted to eat this cake batter up.” He laughs and takes the tray.

“We can’t have that happening! You need to wait,” he says as he walks closer to the oven that was preheated before you two started. You walk towards him to help in opening the oven so that he could place it in.

As soon as you shut it close, Jacob raises his hand for a high-five. “We did good,” you say as you high-five him back. “Hopefully, it turns out good.”

Jacob shrugs and says, “And if it doesn’t, I’d still be glad that we did this.” You only show him a small smile.

Everything in you wanted to agree with him. And yet, you hate that you could not agree with him wholeheartedly. You knew that your two best friends told you that you did not need to figure out your feelings for Jacob right after the first date. But oddly enough, you felt like pushing forward with him is almost like pushing mountains—unable to budge.

But it is not fair to completely shut him out without giving him another chance. At the end of everything, you want your first boyfriend to be him—you just needed time to rethink what you wanted. With that, you whisper, “Yeah, me too,” in hopes that all would be figured out.

At long last, you were done with the first semester. Oddly enough, you found yourself concluding finals season on a good note; saying goodbye to good groupmates and professors; acing projects you worked hard on; leaving classes with so much learned. The journey was not easy (and you would never want to experience it again), but you knew the next semester would be just as difficult.

Winter break came a week ago. Although Chanhee and Sunwoo already packed their bags and left as soon as it started, Changmin said that you two would leave as soon as the second week came in at the request of his parents. You did not mind waiting around, really. If anything, you were glad that you would be able to join them for the holidays.

It is 4:34 PM when you and Changmin arrive at Cheongju. As you take a deep breath of the air, you smile. It has been 2 years since you last stepped foot in this place. You notice that when you exhale, you see the air due to the cold temperature.

“Oh, I missed being here,” you mutter to yourself as you hold onto a hand-carry that carries your clothes for your seven-day stay in the Ji household. As you hear Changmin hum, you whip your head in his direction. For a moment, you swear he had his eyes on you briefly, but he was only looking off into the distance.

“Yeah,” he says with a small smile on his face. He fishes out his phone from his pocket and looks through his notifications. “I think Yuna noona should already be here. Let’s go to the pickup area.”

With that, you two drag your small luggage and make your way out of the train station to the curbside pickup point. Dozens of cars were lined up; some from those who resided in Cheongju while most were taxis. While Changmin was busy trying to get ahold of his sister, you stood close to him.

You have not told Changmin about what went down on your date with Jacob. The last time you talked about him was when you told your friends about him asking you on a date.

“So, I have some news to share with you all.”

You and your friends were sitting by the kitchen island with platters of gopchang and gimbap along with a bowl of ox bone soup. Since you were well from your fever, this would be the last night your friends were going to spend at your place. Everyone decided that today’s dinner should be good.

“What news?” Sunwoo asks with food in his mouth.

You say with furrowed eyebrows, “About my thing with Jacob.” Unbeknownst to you, your friends were already aware of what you were referring to.

“Your date with Jacob?”

As he says those words, you squeal before grabbing your phone. Once you open up your conversation with your crush, you hand off your phone to Changmin who is seated beside you. “I can’t believe he asked me out!”

Chanhee sighs and says, “I hate to break it to you, but Sunwoo already told us a few days ago.” With that revelation, you gasp.

“Are you serious, Kim Sunwoo?! I wanted to tell them!” You whine with your arms crossed.

The boy gives you a sheepish smile. “I just wanted to share the good news.” You roll your eyes at his response.

“I’m not going to tell you anything at this rate.”

With a pout on his face, he whines, “No! Don’t keep stuff from me, please.”

Before you could say anything, Changmin hands you your phone. “I’m happy for you,” he whispers with a small smile. You do not think much of his response, but when you notice your other best friends’ eyes on him, you cannot help but overthink.

When he continues to eat his food, the table falls into silence. For once, it was not comfortable at all.

Although you found yourself thinking about his reaction, you told yourself to not get too lost in your thoughts. There is no reason for you to rethink his words when all he has done is be honest with you. And if he was not ready to share something with you, you would be respectful of his boundaries.

Before you could get lost in your thoughts, you hear someone call out your name. “Y/N-ah!” As you look in the direction of where that sound came from, you see Yuna in a padded jacket. She stood by her car with a big smile on her face.

Without a thought, you grab onto Changmin’s hand with your free hand and jog to her. “Yuna! I’ve missed you!” You exclaim as you let go of your best friend’s hand and pull her into a hug.

“And I’ve missed you,” she responds as she holds you close to her. “I can’t believe it has been more than three years since I last saw you.”

Once you two let go of each other, she smiles at her brother and grabs onto his arm. “C’mon, give me a hug as well.” Although he rolls his eyes the moment she wraps her arms around him, he allows himself to melt in the hug. You knew how much he missed his sisters even if he would never admit it to them.

As soon as the two stop hugging each other, Yuna claps her hands. “C’mon, let’s get in the car. Eomma has been waiting for you two since the break started.”

As she gets in the driver’s seat, you and Changmin go to the trunk to stow away your luggage. Once you open it, Changmin grabs onto your luggage. “Let me,” he says. Before you could protest, he pulls it away from you and places your luggage neatly before he sets his down beside yours.

You smile at him the moment he closes the trunk. “Thanks.” All he does is smile and nudge your shoulder.

“You can pay me back by doing all my chores.”

“Yah!” As you scowl, all he does is laugh.

“Eomma! Y/N and Changmin are here!” Yuna calls out while she tries to remove her shoes. “You can put your shoes here,” she tells you as she points at the shoe rack. As you and Changmin set your shoes aside, she opens the door for you three. Before she goes off, she says, “I’ll just find eomma.”

When you first step into the Ji household, you notice that everything is almost the same as when you last visited; the walls were still off-white and littered with picture frames of the family throughout the years; the soban is the same one you remember stubbing your toe against during the dinners you were invited to; the aura that emits from being in this household is still as homey as ever.

A rush of nostalgia fills you—your heart aches nicely as you remember your memories in this home. But before you can reminisce, something snarls. Your eyes set on a poodle who runs in your direction, barking non-stop at you.

“Gana!” Your best friend exclaims as he crouches in front of his dog. Although the poodle continues to snarl at you, he only smiles as he holds his dog close to his chest. “I’ve missed you so much.”

You sigh with a frown on your face. “I think Gana forgot about me. He was never this aggressive back when I would visit.”

He only laughs as he continues to shower Gana with love. “I don’t think he ever liked you.” When he says those words, you gasp.

“Well, I don’t like him either!”

“That is a lie and we all know it. You want him to love you as much as he loves me,” he says as pets Gana.

Before you could say anything, you were interrupted by someone’s squeal. “Y/N-ah!” Your eyes rip away from the two and land on Changmin’s mom who is already rushing to you.

“Eomeoni!” You manage to say before she pulls you into a hug.

“What did I tell you about calling me that? Just call me eomma,” she says before letting you go. She pinches your cheeks with a big smile on her face. “Ah, you’ve grown so much since I last saw you.”

It is true. The last time you saw her was when you and Sunwoo graduated from high school. Changmin found time to go back home just in time to celebrate his best friends’ graduation. On that night, your families gathered for dinner to celebrate everything—whether small or big. You could remember that a few weeks later, you and Sunwoo had to pack your bags so that you could move to your apartments situated close to the university.

You smile at her and say, “Eomma, you’re still as young as when I last saw you.” With such flattery, she cannot help but grin at you.

As she lets go of your cheek, she shoots a smile at her son. “Changmin-ah,” she says while walking closer to him. Your best friend lets go of his dog and smiles at her. The moment he hugs her, you cannot help but feel your heart warm at the sight.

“Ah, you’re still as handsome as ever,” she coos, which has him blushing in embarrassment.

With a shy smile on his face, he says, “Eomma, you don’t need to say that in front of Y/N.” All you can do is giggle at your embarrassed friend while his mother ignores his request.

“Y/N-ah,” she says as she lets go of him. “You’ll be sleeping in Changmin’s room while he’ll sleep in the living room.”

Your eyes widen in shock as you attempt to protest. “Eomma, it’s okay! I’ll be fine sleeping in the living room.” She shakes her head as she grabs onto your hand.

“No, I already talked about this with Changmin on the phone. He said it’s fine.” As she reveals that information, you look at your best friend who only smiled at you. With a pout on your face, Changmin’s mom drags you to his room while you hold onto your luggage.

As she opens the door to Changmin’s room, you are met with the same room you stayed after every dismissal time. “I cleaned up a bit, but I didn’t want to mess with Changmin’s things,” his mom admits as you take a step into his room.

Similar to the rest of the household, nothing changed; the single bed that you, Changmin, and Sunwoo would work on was still pressed up against the wall; the black oak bookshelf that held his old books still had the carvings you three would leave every once in a while; the corkboard that hung on the wall still had pictures and tokens throughout his grade school and high school years; the wall mounted shelf that held his trophies and medals. In this room, you could see Changmin in every corner—the one you got to know back in high school and the one who you cared for even until now.

“Changmin might come in every once in a while to get some clothes, but I’ll make sure he respects your privacy.”

You let out a laugh at what she says. “Eomma, it’s okay. I don’t mind him bothering me. If anything, I need to thank him and you for allowing me to stay for the break.”

She gives you another smile and says, “Anytime.” She pinches your cheek once more (to which you smile) and walks out of the room, closing the door behind her.

You leave your hand-carry by the door as you look around the room once more. As you walk to the corkboard littered with photographs, you can spot ones with you and Sunwoo in them. Ranging from competitions to the first days of school, you smile at how much you three have grown through the years—from old uniforms and shabby haircuts to stylish clothing and redefined faces.

As your eyes scan through the other tokens such as ticket stubs and receipts, you spot cutouts of your articles along with his pictures that accompanied yours. Just from the sight, you cannot help but feel your heartstrings tug. You always knew he did this with your past collaborations, but seeing it after a while never fails to make you smile.

Although you try to rest your hand on the desk, your hand ends up hitting the handle of the drawer. You raise your head in pain and hiss at the sudden impact. “Shit,” you mutter to yourself.

Your eyes settle down on the drawer that is now slightly open. You were going to close it—you are not the type to snoop. But when you notice a paper that has the name of your university’s publication at the bottom corner, your hand reaches out to open the drawer further.

You could not believe what you were seeing—it is a cutup of your article on hustle culture in organizations. As your hand grabs onto it, you notice that there are more pieces of paper. While you sift through the cutouts, you realize it is all your articles during your time in the university’s publication.

Throughout your university life, you were always under the impression that Changmin would read your pieces—never keep them like how he did back in high school. And yet to see the stack of cutouts that had your byline had you like ice cream on a hot day. There were no right words to describe what you are feeling now for you did not even understand it.

Still in shock, you stack them neatly in the drawer before shutting it close. Before you could recollect your thoughts, you hear the door swing open.

“Y/N?” Changmin calls out as his head peeks out. As he notices your shocked expression, he frowns. “Are you okay?”

You quickly show him a smile. “Yeah, I was just looking at the photos,” you lie as you point at the corkboard. “I can’t believe we were so young.”

He chuckles as he steps in, taking in his childhood room. Once he stands beside you, he takes a good look at his corkboard full of memories. “Do you remember when we took this?” With his finger pointing at a certain photograph, you cannot help but smile.

The picture was of you, Changmin, and Sunwoo having a picnic during the winter season—red noses and snowflakes on everyone’s hair. All dressed in padded jackets, you can remember how your fingers were about to fall off from the cold while you three attempted to do some scrapbooking.

“God, why did we even do that?”

Changmin nudges your shoulder. “Because you talked about wanting to go on a picnic before, remember?”

Once you look at him, you notice that he was already smiling at you. “For a date! And it didn’t have to be in the fucking cold,” you say as you roll your eyes.

“Hey, you still enjoyed it!” He exclaims to which you only sigh in defeat. It is true—you can remember how you almost cried over your friends preparing that picnic for you.

You used to be bothered by your uneventful love life (even if you did complain every once in a while). But when you remember what your friends did to remind you of their love for you, you realize that it is not bad to have nothing going on—you always have them to keep you company when you need it.

Before you could say anything, Changmin let out a sigh. “C’mon, we’re about to have dinner.” He grabs your hand before shooting you another smile. “I’m sure everyone wants to know everything about you.” You wish you could pinpoint the reason behind your heartstrings tugging.

Everyone was gathered around the soban which carried a hearty spread of kimchi, bulgogi, jjajangmyeon, and yukgaejang. The sight of these deliciously prepared dishes had your mouth watering, but the smell of it all is to die for. Aside from the times Changmin has cooked you food when you were sick, you cannot remember the last time you had a homemade meal.

“Please, go eat!” Changmin’s dad says as he hands Changmin the bowl of spicy beef broth.

As you grin at his parents, you do not notice your best friend grabbing your bowl to pour some yukgaejang for you. You cannot help but stare at him as he pours the perfect amount of soup for you to eat.

“Thanks,” you whisper as he hands you back your bowl.

He shoots you a small smile before proceeding to do the same with everyone else. “Yah, that’s too much!” Yuna exclaims, which causes her brother to stop putting any more soup into her bowl. “You know how much Y/N wants but not how much I want?”

“Yuna noona, I don’t see you all the time,” he attempts to defend himself as he pours himself some soup while she berates him.

You wish you could comment—a bowl of soup should not mean that much. And yet, you cannot help but stare down at the bowl that holds the perfect amount for you.

“Hey, let’s not have this happen in front of our guest.” Changmin’s dad tries to break the quarrel. “Come on,” he says as he grabs the bowl of yukgaejang from his son. “I’ll take care of me and your eomma.”

Once Yuna was done grabbing some jjajangmyeon for herself, she passed the bowl to her brother. “What time is unnie and Byungho oppa coming home?” She asks while she places some bulgogi on her plate.

When Changmin grabs the right amount of black bean noodles for you, you give him a shy smile. “You know, you can get yourself some food first. I can handle getting my own.” All he does is shake his head, ignoring your request.

“Both of them should be arriving early in the morning,” Changmin’s dad says before taking a sip of the soup. “Ah, another good meal prepared by eomma.” As he says those words, your best friend’s mom cannot help but smile. You cannot help but smile at the sight of them in love.

After Changmin grabs his serving of jjajangmyeon, he takes the platter of bulgogi and places a few pieces on your plate before his. “Let me know if you ever want more,” he says before handing it off to his parents.

You shoot him a small smile before grabbing onto your bowl. Once you take a sip of the yukgaejang, you cannot help but moan—the spicy beef broth coats your tongue that has you hissing out of joy. “Eomma, it’s so good,” you say before taking another sip of the soup.

Changmin’s mom grins at you and says, “Thank you! Please eat well.”

As you all ate to your hearts’ and bellies’ contents, the Ji family would interview you and Changmin about all that has happened over the years. In the same way you expect to be bombarded with questions every time you visit your parents, you do not get overwhelmed by the interrogation. That is until the spotlight is put on your best friend.

“Changmin-ah, you’re already in your senior year—are you not dating anyone?” His mom asks which has him choking on his soup.

After you pat his back while he coughs, he says, “Eomma, I’ve been busy with school and dance.” As he says those words, his mother frowns.

“But what will happen after you graduate? College is the time to find that perfect someone!”

“Or maybe he’s still hung up on Suyeon,” Yuna snickers before taking a bite of her bulgogi.

Ji Suyeon—the girl from the math honors society that Changmin went on a date with. After he revealed to you and Sunwoo about his first date, you two did not stop interrogating him. What came as a big shock to Sunwoo is that he has gone on multiple dates with her—from dine-and-talks to board game ones.

But the biggest shocker for you is that they were together for a few weeks. When your best friend spoke of his past relationship, he did not hold any ill feelings toward her. The two ended their relationship on mutual terms—their priorities did not line up.

“Hey, I’m not!” Your best friend attempts to defend himself with a frown on his face. “I haven’t even thought about her in years.” Yuna only shrugs before going back to eating.

“Y/N-ah,” Changmin’s mom calls out, which has you looking at her. “You’re always with him. Does no one find him attractive there?”

You scratch the back of your head and manage to say a few words, “Uh, I’m sure people do find him handsome. But I wouldn’t know too much since he hasn’t mentioned anything.” With a sheepish smile on your face, you cannot help but feel your face burn at calling your best friend good-looking right in front of him and his family.

“Eomma,” he whines after taking a sip of his soup. “I’m not interested in anyone right now. If anything, aren’t you happy that I’m focused on my studies?”

She sighs, “But I don’t want you to be lonely. Did you know that your dad and I met in college?”

“Eomma, we know.” Yuna shakes her head as she grabs some more bulgogi. “You always talk about it.”

As soon as Changmin’s mom shoots a look at her husband, he sighs. “Your mom is only looking out for you, okay? She just doesn’t want you to miss out on finding the love of your life.”

Their son sighs at their words. For a moment, you do not know if you should step in and back him up. With your eyes on his side profile, you notice that he is deep in thought. But when he turns his head to face you, you feel yourself crumble under his stare.

“I’m happy with Y/N.” You cannot help but feel your eyes widen. Staring right back at him, you do not know what to make of his words. But he does not allow you to think about it as he chokes out the words, “And with the other friends I have.” He looks back at his family. “I’m sure I’ll figure it out, so no need to worry.”

With a smile on his face, his parents eventually let go of the topic. Although they continue to talk about the other things happening in their lives, you still find your mind pondering on the first half of his words.

It is 10:15 AM. You were in the kitchen helping Changmin’s mom prepare some kimchi for the next month. Although she kept denying your help, you kept insisting by saying that it is only right to help out with anything at home since they allowed you to stay over for the holidays.

“Like this, eomma?” You ask as you show her the cabbage coated in kimchi paste.

She looks at your work and nods. “You’re doing it right! Cover it in more paste and it will be good.” You follow her instructions and continue to coat the other cabbage leaves with the same amount of paste. “How are your parents?”

You look up at her with a small smile on your face. “They’re okay. I called them last night, and they wanted to thank you again for having me over.”

“Don’t even worry about it,” she says as she shakes her head. “I consider you family—whenever you need me, I’ll be there for you.”

You cannot help but smile at her words. It is true—Changmin’s mom has always been there for you and Sunwoo whenever you needed her. Even after Changmin graduated from high school, you two always found themselves in the Ji household. There were cases where your parents could not have dinner with you which meant eating with Changmin’s parents. You are thankful for them—they are your second family.

The sounds of her favorite radio station accompanied you two as you work. While you were focused on preparing the kimchi, you do not notice when someone enters the kitchen. “I thought you’d be more happy to see me.” When you look up, you cannot help but gasp at the person’s presence.

“Hanhee!” You exclaim as you quickly stand up from your seat. As she wraps her arms around you, you try to hug her back while making sure that no kimchi paste gets on her. “I’ve missed you so much.”

As she lets go of you, you see a big smile on her face. “My bestie, I’ve missed you.” You step aside so that her mom could hug her as well.

“My Hanhee,” she says as she gives her daughter a big hug. “Have you settled in already?”

Once Hanhee nods, the three of you take a seat. “So, how are you, Y/N? Is my brother still causing you trouble?” You can only laugh as you coat a cabbage leaf with kimchi paste.

“Well… he’s definitely something,” you speak as you work. “But I’m doing very well. He’s been a big help.” Hanhee hums as she watches you and her mom make some more kimchi. “What about you? How are you?”

She gives you two a smile before saying, “Surprisingly, I’m very happy where I am. Work can be stressful but… at least my fiancé is there to support me.”

“Fiancé?! You and Byungho are engaged?!” As you gasp, Changmin’s mom cannot help but laugh.

“Hanhee and Byungho recently got engaged,” she says as she removes her plastic gloves. “I’ll go get the container while you two talk.” As soon as she leaves the kitchen, Hanhee shoots you a smile.

“I’m so happy for you.”

She lets out a happy sigh. “I know, I can’t believe he proposed. Who would’ve expected that I would marry my best friend?”

As she says those words, your mind cannot help but drift to Changmin. The idea of him all dressed up in a suit as he stands by the—wait, why were you thinking about this? You briefly frown and shake your head at the thought.

“Honestly, you and Byungho are soulmates,” you say with a smile in an attempt to cover up for whatever had you in your thoughts.

She chuckles before asking, “Do you think my brother is your soulmate?” You cannot help but physically reel at her question which has her laughing. “Like, platonic soulmate, you know?”

You bite the inside of your cheek as you ponder her words. Changmin has always been your best friend—the reason why you are able to keep on going. In the same way Byungho and Hanhee support each other, you two always look out for each other. But would it be right to call him your soulmate?

Before you could answer, Yuna and Changmin came into the kitchen. “Hanhee noona,” your best friend says as he hugs his sister. “Where’s Byungho hyung?”

“Already looking for him? Why don’t you spend time with your noona?” Hanhee teases as she keeps her arms wrapped around him.

Yuna takes a seat beside you as she looks at the kimchi. “Wow, Y/N is helping eomma out while Changmin is lounging around.” She clicks her tongue which causes Changmin to frown at her.

“Hey, I didn’t know!” He attempts to defend himself. “Eomma usually doesn’t let me help out when it comes to kimchi.”

Hanhee shakes her head as she finally lets go of her brother. “Look at Y/N doing all that they can to help out while your lazy ass is just spending time with Gana.”

“To be fair, Gana misses me.”

“Gana misses everyone,” Yuna says as she rolls her eyes. “Why don’t you go help out appa and Byungho oppa outside?”

Changmin frowns at you three before saying, “I hate you three.” As soon as he leaves the kitchen, you and his sisters cannot help but laugh.

“It’s always so fun to rile him up,” Hanhee laughs.

“Honestly, it’s one of my favorite things to do every time we come back here.” Yuna smiles at you two. “Anyway, unnie, tell me what has been going on with you!” As the three of you talk about anything and everything, you do not forget about Hanhee’s question. For now, you will shove it to the back of your mind.

The next day comes. You and Changmin were on your way to pick up some food from a restaurant you two used to frequent back in high school. Since his mom had stuff to attend to, everyone agreed that it would be fine to have some takeout for today’s lunch. Although your best friend was supposed to go alone, you thought it would be good to join along (mainly because you wanted to explore the city with him as well).

“God, it still looks the same,” you say as you two were walking with linked arms. As you pass by the old mart you, Sunwoo, and Changmin would go to after school, you cannot help but gasp. “Even the mart is the same!”

Your best friend rolls his eyes over your excited behavior but cannot hide the smile that shows on his lips. “You’ve been gone for two years; I don’t think too much can change.”

“You never know!” You nudge your best friend’s shoulder. “Two years ago, I was still under the impression that Hanhee and Byungho were still girlfriend and boyfriend—not engaged.”

He shakes his head and lets out a sigh. “To be fair, I think we all expected that they would end up marrying each other.”

Before you could say anymore, you two finally arrived in front of the restaurant. The exterior of it still looked the same but old; the paint has chipped off of the letters; the wood’s color resembles sand; the fairy lights did not shine as brightly as they used to. And yet, you cannot help but smile at the place that sheltered your friend group.

As soon as Changmin swings the door open, you attempt to unlink your arm with his so that you could enter first. And yet, he makes sure that his hand still holds onto your arm. You cannot help but feel your heart warm at the action. Your best friend has always been the clingy type, so why are you feeling all of these now?

The moment you two enter, he links his arm once more with yours. The restaurant is small, only having six tables with each one having two chairs of their own. It seemed that there were only five customers in as they ate away on their tteokbokki and ramyeon. The cashier is manned by the one and only person who your friend group has grown close to over the high school years. Once his eyes trail up towards you two, the shock on his face is one for the books.

“Y/N-ah!” Minho, the owner of the restaurant, exclaims as he makes his way towards you. As soon as he reaches you, he wraps his arms around you two. You cannot help but melt in the hug. As soon as he lets go of you two, he looks at the boy who went back to linking arms with you and says, “Of course, Changmin! Oh, you grow even more handsome every time I see you.” Your best friend cannot help but give him a small smile.

“I’ve missed you, harabeoji.” As you pout, Minho cannot help but pinch your cheek.

“We’re here to pick up the food my dad ordered,” Your best friend says as he holds you close to his side.

Minho nods with a smile on his face. “Of course.” He makes his way back to the counter which you two follow. “It’s so nice to see you after so long,” he says as he grabs onto a plastic bag. “I see that time still treats you two well.” As he points at your linked arms, you cannot help but tilt your head in confusion. “I mean, I’m happy to see that you guys are together! I never knew you two liked each other that way.”

As soon as he says those words, your eyes widen. This cannot be happening again—what changed between you and Changmin to come off as a couple to almost everyone? You look at your best friend who stood beside you with a flustered expression.

“Ah no, it’s not like that,” he coughs out before grabbing onto the plastic bag that held containers of tteokbokki.

Once you look at Minho, you notice a disappointed expression on his face. “Oh, I see. But I’m still happy to see you two are still friends!”

Despite his attempt to clear up the awkward air, you cannot deny the unsettling feeling in your stomach. With people questioning the nature of your relationship with Changmin (along with the news of Minhee’s and Byungho’s engagement), you were not sure if what you have with him is platonic as you make it out to be.

It should not matter though. Whatever you have with Changmin is your business—not anyone else’s. What if your best friend always found himself linking arms with you? What if your best friend always takes care of you whenever you are drunk? What if your best friend still keeps newspaper clippings of what you write?

And what if you crave his presence? What if you care so much about what he feels? What if you cherish all of his competitions and wins? What if you did think of Changmin as your soulmate? But none of these should matter—what you two have is perfectly platonic.

“Well, how long are you two staying here?” Minho snaps you out of your thoughts

With a bitter smile, your best friend says, “We’re only here until the end of this week.”

Minho cannot help but pout at his revelation. “I see,” he sighs. “But it’s still nice to see you, Y/N, especially after all these years.”

You shoot him a smile before saying, “Harabeoji, this might not be the last time I see you.” You take a quick glance at your best friend who seemed to have his eyes on you. “I’m sure Changmin and I can go here once more before we leave.”

“Ah, that’s my Y/N—still as caring as ever.” Your smile gets bigger as he says those words. “Tell your parents I say hi,” he tells your best friend to which he nods.

As soon as you two bid farewell to Minho, you make your way out of the restaurant, arms still linked with each other. Although the silence should have been comfortable, you cannot deny that Minho’s comment had you wondering about your relationship.

When the night comes, you are seated beside Changmin on his futon while Yuna, Hanhee, and Byungho stay on the couch. Changmin’s parents decided to call the day early and went to sleep early. It has been a while since you five last hung out together like this (while still missing Sunwoo).

“Sunwoo is pulling bitches?!” With the way Yuna exclaims, you cannot help but burst into laughter and lean on your best friend while Hanhee smacks her arm.

“Yah! Don’t be too loud when you curse!” The sister scowls before leaning back into the arms of her fiancé. Yuna frowns at her sister as she rubs on the spot where she was smacked. “But I can’t believe our little Sunwoo has grown up.”

You roll your eyes as you rest your chin on your best friend’s shoulder. “Barely,” you mutter, which only has Changmin chuckling. “He is unfortunately still as immature as he was in high school. I don’t know what people see in him.”

“I can only imagine,” Hanhee sighs. “But enough about Sunwoo, what about you? Has anyone stolen your little heart?”

When she raises that question, you cannot help but feel your cheeks get warm. As soon as the two sisters notice your flustered expression, they gasp. “Y/N! What have you been keeping from us?!” Hanhee exclaims, which makes Yuna scowl at her.

“I thought we agreed to not be too loud!”

Hanhee rolls her eyes and says, “Yeah, but that was before I found out that Y/N has a boyfriend!”

You lift your chin from Changmin’s shoulder and shake your head. “It’s not a boyfriend.”

“But it’s still someone, right?” Yuna shows you a teasing smile.

You feel your breath hitch in your throat. Jacob Bae is that supposed someone to you, right? So why could you not find it within yourself to answer the question?

“He’s a 5th-year student who works in the university’s newspaper,” your best friend takes over as he grabs hold of your hand that rests on the space between you two. Your heart warms at the action. “They’ve only gotten closer this year.”

The two sisters hum at the information their brother shares. “A senior, huh? I’m impressed,” Yuna says before looking at Hanhee. “Wasn’t Byungho oppa a senior when you first met him?”

The sister nods as she looks at her fiancé. “Yeah,” she mutters as the two smile at each other.

In that shared moment, your mind wanders off to how nice it would be to be secured in the idea of having an “each other.” Although you have accepted a possible reality where you will be forced to work to the bone, a part of you longed to still have someone who you could go back home to—you wish for a future where there will always be a place of solace curated just for you.

“For your information, your sister and I are only a year apart,” Byungho says as he finally rips his gaze away from Hanhee to look at Yuna. “But yes, I was a senior in high school. Imagine if Hanhee joined the chess club earlier—maybe we could’ve been together for longer.”

“Not even! I used to hate your guts when I first joined,” Hanhee argues despite Byungho’s arms still wrapped around her figure.

The fiancé chuckles before he snuggles his face into the side of her neck. “But we’re here after nine years—isn’t that funny to think about?” And truth be told, it is comical for you all in this room. Who would have imagined that the cocky (but loser) senior wooed the cold-hearted junior?

“God, get a room!” Yuna frowns as she throws a pillow at the two. “Ruined the mood for all of us single people here—aka me and Changmin.”

You pout at her before saying, “I’m also single.”

“Okay, but you have your senior!” She rolls her eyes as she stands up from the couch. “You all suck, I’m going to dip.” Despite everyone’s attempts to keep her from leaving, she retreated to her room as if she was never there.

Hanhee yawns before she looks down at her phone. “It’s only 10:45 PM? God, I am getting old.” Byungho chuckles the moment she sits up straight. As soon as she stands up from the couch, she grabs onto her fiancé’s arm and pulls him up.

“You kids,” she points at you and Changmin. “Do not stay up too late.”

Byungho rolls his eyes before wrapping his arms around her once more. “Don’t tell them what to do—let them enjoy their break to the fullest.” Despite the frown that stays on Hanhee’s face, she melts into his embrace as he drags them out of the room.

And there remained you two—his hand still intertwined with yours as if you were the last thing he could latch onto. The silence that wraps around you two is deafening, but you are scared to even let out a croak. You spend all the minutes second-guessing what should be done only for your best friend to beat you to it.

“I’m sorry, by the way.” As soon as those words leave his mouth, you cannot help but frown at him. “It wasn’t my place to reveal whatever you have going on with Jacob.”

You cannot help but pout before shaking your head in reassurance. “It’s okay. I’m going to be honest, I didn’t know what to say so I’m glad you took over.”

“You want to talk about it?” Once your best friend asks you that question with a bitter smile, every part of you unwraps itself from its shell—defenseless as a cub during the winter time. You would have bottled it up like always, but the late hours of the day held power unlike no other. In these times, you let every sentiment be shared with him.

“I–I don’t know,” you whisper with your eyes staring into the picture frame that rested on the wall—a picture of Changmin who you can only assume to be around five years old as he stood in a park with his baby blue shirt and orange backpack. You move your intertwined hands to your lap. “I thought it would be unfair to still be confused about how I feel towards Jacob, but the first date solidified my previous thoughts.”

You take a brief glance at the boy who sits beside you only to see that his eyes still remain on you. With no reaction from him, you take this as an opportunity to continue. “Is it weird to want him to be my first boyfriend? Even if I don’t know what to feel towards him?” You let your eyes zero in on your best friend whose shoulders seemingly tensed.

A voice within you was begging for him to know the right words to say, but when he whispers “I–I don’t know,” you find yourself lost in the end. Your best friend did not have the answers to every question you could possibly hold, so why did it matter that he had nothing to offer you now?

“I mean, what happened?” He chokes out the question as he moves his hand away from yours to wrap around your shoulder. “Did the date not go well?”

You shake your head as you watch his free hand reach out for your hand once more. In the way he cradles you, you felt all the walls you built collapse. “It went so well—that’s why I don’t understand what’s wrong with me.” You look back up at your best friend. “I thought that the date would reaffirm my crush on him. But now, I’m kind of left with more things I don’t understand.”

It is not like you went into this world with everything made crystal clear to you. If anything, life always brought uncertainties. But at this exact moment, you only wish for what is certain—what could that possibly be?

“Hey,” he whispers before bringing your head close to his lips. As he brings your temple to his lips, you cannot help but feel your eyes close at the sensation—his lips on your skin as if it were the only thing that could bring you warmth during a snowstorm.

This should not be happening; you knew that this crossed the boundary of what you two drew during your years of friendship. And yet, you wish it could stay like this—you beg for the universe to let it remain this way.

But just as things should be, his lips leave your temple. The absence has you flutter your eyes open. As he draws circles with his thumb on the back of your hand, he says, “I–I get it, there’s a lot of things you don’t understand right now, but don’t pressure yourself into anything.” He takes a deep breath. “Feelings are weird, so just take your time.”

He repeats the first advice he shared with you the night before his competition. And you have no issue with him saying it again, and again, and again because a part of you needed to come to terms with something you kept avoiding—what were you avoiding?

You cannot help but let out a chuckle as your eyes shut close. What would it take for you to be sure of something? Why could you not find yourself jumping head-first with the boy you have fantasized about for years? All these questions and no one could answer but you and the universe.

With eyes still closed, you sigh, “These feelings are going to end up being the reason why I don’t end up getting into a relationship.” Your best friend cannot help but chuckle as he continues his ministrations. “I just,” your eyes open and look down to his hand that wraps around yours. “I look at Minhee and Byungho and your parents, and I beg that I am lucky to have that.”

“And you will have that—it just takes time,” your best friend whispers into your hair. “It took them time.”

You let out a chuckle, and you do not think of the next words that leave your mouth. “God, if we’re still single when we’re thirty, let’s just get married.”

As soon as Changmin stops drawing circles on the back of your hand, that is when you are hit with the reality of what your words meant. What do you mean by getting married at the age of thirty? Why would you even think of getting married to your best friend in the first place?

And you almost blurt out an excuse, until he lets out a chuckle. “When I’m thirty or when you’re thirty?” Warmth occupies every space in your body—it is as if the sun has taken over the snowstorm.

“Maybe when I’m thirty.” You giggle before taking a look at your best friend who seemed to always have his eyes on you. “I might be able to find someone before I turn that age, so I can’t just marry you when I’m twenty-eight.”

He hums before he lets his eyes drift down to your linked hands. “Says the person who doesn’t even know how to feel about their crush liking them back.” As soon as the words drift out of his mouth, you cannot help but gasp.

“Hey!” You exclaim as you use your free hand to smack his arm. While he erupts into laughter, you roll your eyes. “Can’t believe you’re using that against me right now.”

His arm is still wrapped around your shoulders while his free hand still holds yours. You let yourself melt into his embrace before letting out a sigh. Once your head found its spot in the space between his head and shoulder, his chin ever so slightly rests on top of yours.

Nothing needs to be said—the silence that settles is just as comforting as the usual ones you two share. The snow falls; crystals form on the window panes; the night has grown chiller than ever. But you are glad that in the cold, you will always find warmth.

It is 2:26 PM when you and Changmin’s sisters come back home. The three of you decided to spend the day at the mall by yourselves, away from everyone else. In Yuna’s defense, she said that you three needed to have your own hangout without any interference. You had no complaints though—you love the sisters and their company (even more than you like spending time with Changmin).

You shook the snow off your hair as you three stepped into the warm Ji household. While you attempt to remove your shoes, Hanhee sniffles. “God, that was fun! It brings me back to old times.”

“I know, right?” Yuna sighs happily as she sets her shoes aside. She grabs everyone a pair of slippers and hands her sister her pair.

Before she can hand you one, she notices you still struggling to remove your shoes. “Come on,” she says as she reaches her hand out. “You can hand me the gift. I won’t do anything to ruin it.” You roll your eyes as you hand off the plastic bag.

A giggle leaves Hanhee’s mouth as you crouch down to undo the laces. “I’m just saying, I didn’t know you think about him that much—let alone at all.”

“I just thought he would like it,” you shyly admit as you finally get one shoe off. While you work on the other shoe, you say, “I knew he would get upset if I didn’t buy it for him.”

During your time at the mall, your mind was always on a singular thought—a person. In your time shopping with Hanhee and Yuna, you were always looking at items that a particular someone would like; chestnut keychains; small figurines from horror movies; plushies that resembled his pet poodle. You never realized it though, until the sisters had pointed it out for you.

“Since when did you like horror movies?” Your shoulders shoot up at the sudden question. You turn in panic to see Yuna frowning in confusion.

“H-huh? Oh, I don’t,” you say before pointing at the red-faced demon from Insidious. “I just know that Changmin likes the franchise, so I was figuring out whether or not to get it for him. But he doesn’t even collect to begin with.”

“Is that why you were also looking at the stuffed toy a while ago? The one that looks like our dog?” As she asks that question, you raise your eyebrows in shock. You did not know that they noticed you looking through the section that held a variety of animal plushies. Before you could ask, she squints her eyes in suspicion. “You know, I didn’t know you thought about my brother so much.”

“Huh? No, I don’t.” You reel back at her words. “I just know that he would be upset if I didn’t bring him back anything.”

Yuna hums as she continues to stare you down. “I mean, we’re bringing back hotteok for the whole family.”

Before she could say more, Hanhee comes in with a basket full of chocolates hanging off her arms. “Okay, I got what I needed! What about you guys?” Although you nod, there was a battle happening within you—you could not decide what to bring back home for your best friend.

“Just buy the plushie that looks like Gana,” Yuna suggests, which has you snapping out of your thoughts. “I’m sure Changmin would appreciate it since he always misses Gana whenever he leaves Cheongju.”

While Hanhee shoots a confused look at her sister, you let out a sigh before smiling. “Thank you.” While you were making your way back to where the plushies were, Yuna shared her observations with her older sister who could only gasp at the newfound information.

“Whatever you say, Y/N,” Hanhee hums as soon as you finally get your other shoe out. As soon as you set your shoes aside, you grab the slippers and plastic bag from Yuna with a small pout on your face.

You know that if you do not clear it up now, they will go on with their assumptions. With that, you let out a sigh. “It’s not like that,” you start. “I was just thinking that he would appreciate the gift. Also, he let me stay with you guys for the break.” A small smile takes over your face as you look down at the plastic bag.

Once you look back up at the two, you notice their smug expressions. “Whatever, let’s go in. The hotteok will get cold,” Yuna says before opening the door.

As soon as you three step in with slippers on your feet, you are greeted by Byungho whose hair is wet. “Oh, you three are back!” He gives Hanhee a peck on the lips which only has her smile.

“How was helping out appa in the garden?”

Byungho shrugs at Yuna as he wraps his arm around Hanhee’s waist. “Not bad.” But when Yuna raises her eyebrow in confusion, he finds himself fessing up. “Fine, it was hard. I didn’t know shoveling out snow took so much energy and time.”

Hanhee cannot help but shake her head. “Here,” she hands him the box of hotteok. “We thought of bringing back the family something.”

He smiles before unwrapping his arm around her. As he holds the box in his two hands, he says, “Eomma and appa are out to visit the neighbors, so I’ll make sure to save them some.”

“What about Changmin?”

The three look at you the moment you ask that question, only to see you fiddling with the plastic bag. “He’s napping,” Byungho says with a small smile.

You give him a nod before making your way to the living room. On the futon, you spot your best friend whose eyes were closed as he held his dog close to him. The two snore softly—almost as if they had nothing to worry about.

With a small smile on your face, you unzip your padded jacket and remove it before taking a seat on the wooden floor. Right where you sat, your face hovers over him. At this moment, you only realize now that Changmin has grown up since you first got to know him.

His features are the same yet different; his chestnut hair that is sprawled against the pillow is groomed better than his tacky haircut back in high school; the baby fat he used to have in his cheeks has almost vanished; his jaw is more defined than you first remember it to be.

But past all these changes, he is still the boy you worked with in your high school’s publication team; the one who manages to rile you up on the days you do not want your patience to be tested; the guy who has taken care of you after every party; the best friend who has permanently carved his place in your life.

As you continue to look at his sleeping figure while his sisters and Byungho continue to chatter away in the kitchen, you cannot help but feel your heart warm at the sight. The smile that shows on your lips is undeniable—anyone who could see you right now would misunderstand.

But the voice in the back of your head almost begs that everyone would misinterpret it all—god, what were you even thinking? How could you even think of such nonsense? And yet, you only push those questions further back in your mind. All you care about at that moment is him—not you.

When your hand reaches out to swoop away the hair that rests near his eyes, you notice how he frowns at the sudden sensation. You hold back a giggle and retract your hand. When you set the plastic bag down on the floor, it rustles. And before you know it, Gana’s eyes start to open.

The moment he sees you, he snarls and jumps out of your best friend’s grasp. The sudden action causes Changmin to slowly wake up from his nap. Upon hearing the barking, he quickly sits up only to see you in cahoots—your face is all scrunched up as you try to hold his dog back from chewing you up.

“Oh my god, Gana!” He exclaims as he quickly grabs his dog from your hands. Although his pet continues to snarl at you, he pets him in hopes that he will calm down.

“Gana hates me.” His eyes trail up only to see you shaking your head. “He’s so defensive when it comes to you.”

Your best friend cannot help but chuckle as he tries to distract his dog from your presence. With just a few more pats, Gana started to slowly calm down. “When did you guys get back?”

With how groggy he sounds, you cannot help but giggle. “Just a few minutes ago,” you start as you fold your padded jacket. “We have hotteok in the kitchen if you want.”

All he does is hum before kissing Gana’s head. “Go to Yuna noona, okay?” He talks in a baby-like voice and nuzzles his face once more into Gana’s head. Somehow, his pet poodle understood and ran off to the kitchen, leaving you two alone.

Your best friend’s eyes zero in on the plastic bag that settles on the floor. “What’s that?” With a small smile, you grab onto it.

“Well, when we were going shopping, I stumbled upon something that you might like,” you start as you twirl the bag around. “It was either this or some small figurine from Insidious.” Once you hand it to Changmin, he cannot help but frown in confusion.

As his hand reaches into the bag, his fingers graze against something soft. His frown gets deeper and you can only laugh. Once he pulls out the item, his eyes land on a brown stuffed toy—one that resembles Gana in almost every way possible. His mouth parts open as he spins the toy around to admire it.

“I know that whenever you leave Cheongju, you always find yourself missing Gana. So when I spotted this, I thought of buying it for you—just so that this can at least make up for his absence.” With his eyes still on the toy, you do not know if you should anymore. You take a deep breath before saying, “I also thought that it would be a good way to thank you. I mean, you let me crash your winter break.”

As soon as his eyes drift away from the plushie and then towards you, you let out a shy chuckle. “You know I just–”

And before you know it, he wraps his arms around your shoulders and brings you into that all-knowing warm embrace. You feel your breath hitch in your throat as he holds you close, but you remember that it is just him who has the privilege of holding you this close.

It is only a few seconds later that he realizes he has hugged you without you initiating it. Out of all people, he knew fully well that you were often uncomfortable during these situations. But before he can unwrap his arms around you, your arms wrap around his waist and hold him as close as you could.

The moment he feels you ease into the embrace makes him smile. “Thank you,” he whispers into your shoulder before nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck. As you feel his slow and steady breath on the right side of your neck, you cannot help but close your eyes.

You and Changmin knew each other in every way possible—in every aspect you two willingly shared. Every left shoe had to come with a right one; rain is followed with sunshine; linked arms always came with bruised hearts—there is no other way to capture you two.

It is 7:42 PM. Tomorrow, you and Changmin have to go back to your apartments since the second semester will commence three days from now. The time you spent in the Ji household is unlike no other—you hope you can visit again during the upcoming breaks. You did not want to say goodbye to it all; the home-cooked meals Changmin’s mom provided; the spicy tteokbokki Minho always prepared for you only; the town that you grew up in.

“I don’t want to go back tomorrow,” you whine as you stand in the kitchen while holding a cup of jujube tea that Hanhee prepared for you. “I just want to stay in Cheongju with you guys.”

The weather is still cold as ever; the crystals on the window panes have grown frustrating to look at; the snow that piles on the lawn is immovable; the idea of walking out of the house is unimaginable.

Yuna laughs while leaning on the kitchen counter before taking a sip of her tea. “You know we won’t be here either, right? You’ll be staying with our parents.”

“I don’t mind.”

The sisters shake their heads with smiles on their faces. “I’m sure our parents wouldn’t mind either, but you have to continue with your studies,” says Hanhee.

With a frown on your face, you retort, “Well, I could still drop out.”

She crosses her arms as she raises her eyebrows at you. “Okay, and you’ll do what?”

“Well,” you pause as you take a moment to think. You scrambled for ideas, only to blubber them out without a second thought.

“I could work with your dad with gardening stuff!”

Yuna scoffs, “You can’t even take care of plants.”

“Well, Minho would most definitely offer me a job at his restaurant.”

“Minho is not looking to hire someone,” Hanhee counters.

You scratch the back of your neck. “I’m sure someone will need me here.”

“And your parents will scold you for not continuing your education. Do you want that?” The moment Yuna asks you that has you pouting.

“I was just kidding,” you whisper before taking another sip of your tea.

The sister lets out a sigh before saying, “We know that. You know, just enjoy your college years! You’re only in your second year anyway.” While she shoots you a smile, you cannot help but frown. “I know, university is hard. I’ve gone through it all, but I would much prefer undergoing those years, again and again, rather than facing what adulthood has forced upon me.”

As soon as Yuna looks at her sister, Hanhee takes it as a sign to continue the thought. “Yeah, it’s not fun working an 8-5 hour desk job while having to worry about taxes or groceries.” When she thinks of more things to complain about, you notice the way she almost physically reels at the thought. “Jesus, I hate being a working adult. I realized I need to pay my statement to the bank every month and work ungodly hours to provide barely for me and Byungho.”

The moment your expression shifts from its frown to a terrified one, Yuna decides to cut her sister off. “Okay, let’s not scare Y/N too much,” she chuckles as she sets her cup on the counter. “Adulthood is scary, but you’ll get through it. Yeah, fuck having to pay bills or balancing chores all while working how many hours. But trust me, you will manage.”

Although Yuna attempts to ease your anxieties, you feel the floor swallow you whole. All the times you said you felt secure in your future—lies. It is always about deluding yourself into being okay with everything, but the reality is that you are dreading every second that passes.

“Oh my god, Y/N!” Hanhee snaps her fingers to get you out of your thoughts. When your eyes settle on her, you notice the small reassuring smile that rests on her lips. “I promise, you’ll be okay.” She walks to you and wraps her arm around you. “Most especially if you have someone to lean on throughout the journey.”

As she says those words, you frown. “What are you trying to insinuate?”

“Me?” She laughs as she drops her arm from your shoulders. “I’m not insinuating anything… unless you are?”

Everyone in the kitchen knew what her words entailed, and you did not want to acknowledge whatever they speculated about your feelings. You have full control over what you feel—you are not going to allow others’ opinions to influence you.

You roll your eyes before finishing the remnants of your tea. “Whatever,” you mutter as you wash the cup. “There’s nothing going on.” Once you set it aside to dry, you spin around to see the two raise their eyebrows at you.

“Whatever, we’ll leave you to your loverboy.” The moment Yuna says that makes you gasp, making your eyes face towards the living room where Changmin is busy playing with Gana.

“You can’t say that out loud!” You scold her as quietly as possible.

The sisters burst into giggles before taking their cups of tea in their hands. “We’re going to our rooms. You two have fun.” They do not attempt to listen to your protests as they make their way out of the kitchen. Now, you are left on your own while your friends think whatever they want to think.

As you let out a sigh, you allow your feet to take you to the living room. Upon entering, your eyes land on your best friend who sat in front of his dog while holding up the plushie you got him. His eyes hold every possible star in the universe as he plays with his one and only.

“Gana! Look at this, it’s you!” Changmin coos at his dog who only stares up at him in confusion. Although he shakes the toy at him, Gana stays stuck in place as he tilts his head.

Before you know it, you let out a chuckle at the sight. As your best friend turns his head towards you, he shoots you a grin—one that has been permanently stamped into your memories only for you to remember.

Once he diverts his attention from his pet, the dog cannot help but bark at him. He lets out a sigh before dropping the plushie and wrapping his arms around Gana. “You are so needy, you know that? Just like Y/N over there.” The moment he points at you makes you gasp.

“I am not needy.” Despite your attempt to defend yourself, your best friend only rolls his eyes.

“I’ve known you for five years. You are needy, even needier than Sunwoo,” he says, which only has you frowning. As he sees your expression shift, he cannot help but laugh. “C’mon, sit with me.”

When he says those words, the poodle in his arms starts to growl. “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” you say as you look back at the dog who has his eyes on you.

Despite Gana’s behavior, Changmin shakes his head before saying, “Trust me, just sit down.” With his pleading eyes staring right at you, you felt helpless to his requests. Even if a dog were to bite your hand off, you wanted to follow his requests. And somehow, you found yourself taking a seat on the floor right beside him.

Gana starts to bark which only makes you put some distance between you and Changmin. However, as your best friend starts to stroke the dog’s fur, you notice the way Gana starts to calm down.

“What we’re going to do today is get Gana used to you.” As the words leave his mouth, you look at him with wide eyes. Upon seeing your reaction, he cannot help but chuckle. “It is possible. You see the bag of treats on the coffee table?” You turn your head to spot what he was talking about. “Just get some—he’s usually weak to treats.”

You shoot him an unsure look, almost betting every poker chip that this would not go well. But when he shows you his reassuring smile, you feel all resolve crumble just like that. As your hand reaches out into the bag, you grab a small handful of dog treats.

“Okay, keep your hand closed first,” he says as soon as you bring your hand out. “Place it near Gana’s snout and he’ll smell the treats.” You follow his instructions, allowing the defensive dog to place his nose near your hand.

As soon as Gana gets a whiff of the dog treats, he continues to smell your hand. “Okay, you can open it now.” And as you follow his instructions, the poodle starts to eat the treats out of your hand. You cannot hide the shocked expression on your face. “See, he’ll start warming up to you.” Your eyes snap back up at Changmin who was smiling at his dog getting along with his best friend.

Since you first arrived at the Ji household, Gana has always remained hostile against you. And just after following your best friend’s instructions, the poodle was slowly getting used to you. You knew that Gana’s assertive nature only came from a place of wanting to protect his owner—who would not want to protect a boy like him?

This continued for a few more rounds until Changmin felt like that was enough treats for Gana to trust you. “Okay, let him sniff your hand once more.” As you follow his orders, his dog sniffs your skin. “Now, you can pet him.”

“Are you sure?” You ask as your eyes snap back up to him.

When you are only met with a nod, your eyes fall back on Gana who continues to sniff you. Once your hand raises from its position, you notice how his eyes follow it. The moment you find your hand stroking on the fur that rested on his back is almost as magical for everyone—the way Gana finds himself enjoying your touch is something you do not expect.

“Oh my god, he’s back to liking me again,” you whisper which has your best friend giggling.

Nothing needed to be said at that moment—the silence that falls on you three is comfortable. Your eyes always found themselves flickering between your best friend and his dog who only seemed to care about each other’s comfort. You do not miss the way Changmin smiles over how Gana closes his eyes at the sensation.

Seeing him like this—all soft and playful with someone he adores—tugs on your heartstrings. In your years of knowing him, you always knew of his soft spot for his dog. But something about this particular moment made it different. As your eyes zero in on the guy who sits next to you, you start to see every memory play out.

The first time you see him in your high school’s club room is almost an experience you will never forget. With the ways your hands clammed up at the sight of the intimidating boy, you can remember every thought running through your mind—the most memorable one being “resign from the newspaper team.” Can you believe it took you two being forced to work together that started your friendship?

You do not forget about all the times he came to you with a grin plastered on his face while he held the latest broadsheet that held your bylines together. With every article published, he never fails to mention how proud he is of you.

And with every dance competition you watch, you always see Changmin and Sunwoo achieve even higher than what their dreams set them up for. For every medal and trophy won, you never forget to tell the two how happy you are to have them as your best friends.

When Changmin’s graduation came, you will never forget the tears that streamed down yours and Sunwoo’s faces. Even on his special day, his two best friends could not help but be crybabies. You do not forget about the way he wiped the tears away with a smile that only provided you more comfort than words ever could.

On the day you and Sunwoo graduated, you can never forget how you two leaped at the sight of Changmin back in Cheongju. His arms wrapped around you two as if you were the last things on earth he could hold onto. That day only ended on a high note—one that you can hope to chase.

And when you first entered university and got accepted into the publication team, you will never forget how his expression shifted into genuine joy. The words he told you on that day are some you will never forget: “Every day, you are destined for greatness.”

With every lunch, you never forget how you find your heart leaping at the sight of him waiting outside of your classroom. In the same way you wait for him after class, you notice how his expression shifts from exhaustion to happiness. He never forgets to link arms with you every time you make your way to the picnic table you two consider your hideout.

The moment you share about your crush on the unattainable senior in your staff only had him laughing. And yet, he still indulged in your love-drunk rambles (even if nothing happened between you two). He never rained on your love train for all he seemed to care about is that you tell him everything.

When you bring Chanhee into your friend group, you do not forget how he connected with your two childhood best friends in an instant. The addition of Chanhee into your group of three made sense—you would not be the people you are today if someone were to be removed.

And at every party, Changmin always took care of you in your intoxicated state. Every time you needed to puke your guts out or desperately needed to drink water, he was always there to keep you company—to hold back your hair or bring you enough water that would help in sobering you up.

With every sentimental talk you two share, you never fail to see his attentive eyes on you—the way he holds onto your hand whenever you find yourself being vulnerable with him has become an ingrained action of his. And with every time you like to downplay every issue you face, he is always there to remind you of what you seemingly deserve.

Everywhere he goes, he brings warmth—one that you never feel from anyone else. Just from his existence, you always find yourself thanking the universe for bringing him to you. Because even if he loved to make fun of you in every way possible, you knew that it all came from a place of care—a place of love.

And just like that, you feel the crushing weight on your heart lifted. The moment of clarity finally pushed you to open your arms to what you had been tiptoeing around.

Oh.

It is not as scary as you made it out to be. “I think I like you.” You do not realize the words you whisper under your breath without any second thought. It is soft just like how water slowly trickles down a faucet. But even the droplet sounds are ones you never want to hear on a quiet night.

You clear your throat loudly in hopes that it would cover up what you slipped out. “God, are you okay?” Your best friend asks as soon as your hand retreats from petting Gana.

With you shaking your head, you say, “Yeah! I think it’s just the cold weather getting to me.” You push yourself off the floor so that you can stand up. “I think I’ll just stay in my room and pack up for tomorrow.” Although his eyebrows furrow at your odd behavior, you do not allow him to say anything as you quickly make your way out of the living room.

On your way back to the room, you could only mentally scold yourself for coming to such a revelation—for even whispering such words without any second thought. You can only hope that your words were not heard by him. And while you found yourself panicking over the moment that occurred only minutes ago, your best friend was having an internal debate on whether he heard you say the words he has been dreaming of.

if you liked this, please take some time to like and reblog this and part one!

#zzoguri works #deoboyznet #kflixnet #bjnet #the boyz #ji changmin #the boyz x reader #changmin x reader #ji changmin x reader #ji changmin fluff #the boyz fluff #q x reader #kyu x reader #of linked arms and bruised hearts (you are the reason i keep on going)

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t3kandson · 1 year

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Learning Love

When Y/N finds herself thrown in to her house mate and childhood friend own circle of friends, the Boyz. She finds her self meeting the most beautiful set of men that each turn her head and helps to corrupt her, all in the name of lessons of Love.

Or is she about to corrupt herself falling under the spell of greed, lusting over the eleven sexy, yet kinky men.

12 Chapters of Sex filled smut with a twist at every turn.

*If you want to be tagged in any of my Boyz fics just let me know 💗

Friendly Fuckery

Que the new lesson

Gaze Trapping

Double Trouble

Fresh Air Adventure

Dark Foolish Gift featuring Jvcki Wai

Daddy’s Princess

Four to the Game featuring Bibi

Deal Breaker

Happy Never After

Greed for one More

Lost Without You featuring Yoon Keeho

Masterlist

#kpopidol #fiction #kpop smut #the boyz smut #lee sangyeon smut #bae jacob smut #kim younghoon smut #lee hyunjae smut #moon kevin smut #lee juyeon smut #choi chanhee smut #ji changmin smut #ju haknyeon smut #kim sunwoo smut #eric sohn smut

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nujins · 1 year

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must be destiny [ ji changmin/q ] masterlist

synopsis: you're sunwoo's younger cousin that just moved in with him and his family in seoul after an event that forced you out of your own home. after he lets you tag along with him on one of his hangouts with his friends, you find yourself becoming intrigued with a certain bright-eyed boy named changmin. little do you know, you've been in his radar for a while, and that this fateful chance was a sign for him that you were his long-lost "the one". pairing: non!idol ji changmin (q) x non!idol fem!reader genre: college!au, brother's (cousin's) best friend, strangers to frenemies to friends to more than friends (?) to lovers, mutual pining, so much fluff, crack, a little angst (i hate y/n's fam here sm lol), they both think they fell first and just fell in love harder over time, idiots in love, destiny, fake dating (?) author's notes: the personality of the characters here does not reflect the idols' real-life personality. i put my own twist to them so if they "say" something here that does not fit your liking, do not send any of the idols any hate. also, i might mention a few physical characteristics that y/n has in this fic that might not fit your actual look, so pls be considerate and not go around complaining about it lol. everything is fictional, ofc, but i really hope that you guys will be invested in these two dumbasses' love story as though it was real. updates will be weekly and/or spontaneous because i'm still a student. status: in the making / chapters unpublished warnings: cursing, suggestive / sexual content (there's barely any, just mentions of it, i'm still a minor duh), kms/kys, your mom, and other lame jokes, family issues (y/n's family here needs their own type of trigger warning fr), annoying ass idiots who are obviously in love that will frustrate you fr taglist: open! ... @inthesunnn @kyusqult @rksbae @deobiforever

CHAPTERS / TABLE OF CONTENTS!

chapter oo. teaser

chapter oo. new home, new me? chapter oi. "feelings aren't fact" chapter ii. catch my eyes, catch my heart chapter iii. fate must be kidding me ... more to be added ...

(i'm going to link the chapters if i've already posted them so don't worry! hope you guys will enjoy!)

#the boyz #ji changmin #kpop #fanfiction #sangyeon #hyunjae #juyeon #tbz fanfic #tbz q #younghoon #ju haknyeon #tbz eric #tbz fluff #tbz q x reader #ji changmin x reader #the boyz jacob #the boyz kevin #the boyz new #the boyz eric

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oraclekleo · 2 years

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Master Post - List of Completed Readings and Works in Progress (WIP)

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Disclaimer

I strongly urge you to take all the tarot readings on this account lightly. All the posts are intended to have an entertaining nature, they are pure speculations and completely made up by me. I can never ever guarantee any of it and you should never take any of the tarot readings for granted. I would like to stress that I know no idol nor actor personally, I never met any of them and all those readings are fictional, imagins, make believe and hypothetical scenarios. Do not base any of your life decisions on a tarot reading only, always use your common sense. If you have issues with tarot cards for religious or other reasons, do not engage in reading my posts.

When you make a request take my life into consideration and be patient. I’m a responsible adult with a full time job, dog, family, friends, duties, house chores and requests from other sources. All these take my time. Also reading tarot cards requires a certain mood, vibe and concentration, it can’t be done just anytime. Count on the time delays, please. I will do my best to complete your requests.

I’m always willing to help out if you yourself consider taking on tarot cards as a hobby. Feel free to ask if you have any inquiries about it, no question is dumb. I don’t know everything but will try to help the best I can.

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Tip me for my readings on ko-fi! Purely optional! All readings are for free now!

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LINK: https://ko-fi.com/oraclekleo

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Requests status:

K-Pop Readings - CLOSED

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Masterlist

Tarot Readings

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2PM

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(G)I-DLE

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Astro

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Ateez

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BigBang

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BLACKPINK

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BtoB

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BTS

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CIX

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CRAViTY

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Dreamcatcher

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E'LAST

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Enhypen

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EXO

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Got7

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ITZY

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KINGDOM

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LE SSERAFIM

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Monsta X

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N.Flying

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NCT (All sub-units)

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Omega X

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ONEUS

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OnlyOneOf

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P1Harmony

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Pentagon

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SHINee

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Seventeen

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SF9

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Solo Artists

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Stray Kids

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Super Junior

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The Boyz

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The Rose

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TVXQ

(only Yunho and Changmin, see the former members among solo artists)

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TWICE

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TXT

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US, UK, CA, AUS Actors

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VERIVERY

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VIXX

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WEi

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Xdinary Heroes

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XEED

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*(WIP) = works in progress

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Tip me for my readings on ko-fi! Purely optional! All readings are for free now!

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#kpop #kpop imagine #kpop smut #tarot reading requests #masterlist #requests manual #kpop tarot readings #kpop tarot #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines #kpop fluff #tarot #tarot spread #kpop astrology #kpop asks #oracle kleo

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rcsejunie · 1 year

Text

mistaken fate; mark lee [social media au]

in which, the word forbidden was only one way to describe their love.

pairing—idol!mark x fem!oc, nct member, ex-smrookies

genre—social media au, fluff, angst, childhood friends to lovers, idol romance, intergroup romance, fictionalized depiction of mark and other nct members

summary—han ara, the 6th member of NCT's newest unit has been constantly scrutinized under a harsh light by the public. she was a trainee for two years back in 2015 and left SM to continue her studies. but after she graduated college early, SM scouted her again. resuming her Idol life and being the only girl that debuted under NCT hasn’t been an easy challenge. thankfully, she has her members to fall back to. especially, one particular boy.

preview | public | private

PARTS. coming soon…

ON HOLD.

taglist. request open!

✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡* ✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ .｡✱

rcsejunie masterlist

other smau – Jaemin; Afar | Jisung; Cross The Line | Haechan; Just us.

#mistakenfatemark #nct dream imagine #nct scenario #nct dream headcanons #nct imagine #nct dream #nct #smau #nct smau #social media au #mark lee imagine #mark lee fanfic #mark lee smau

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leejynz · 1 year

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the boyz reaction - to you being drunk (as your boyfriend)

fluff! kinda? angst!

*note this is all fictional and just based off of my opinion of the boyz js for fun*

sangyeon

- hed obvi be worried but would get mad that you didn’t listen to him

- would start lowkey yelling at you when you didn’t get up

- start lecturing you like a dad the next day about knowing your limits in drinking

- “yah do you know how dangerous the world is?? you could get kidnapped!!”

jacob

- extremely worried but would laugh at how cute you are

- lowkey kind of shy when he tries to help you in front of his friends

- “you’re so cute when you’re like this but first let’s get you out of here”

younghoon

- was in disbelief when your friend called him, he was so shocked since you’ve never gotten drunk

- “yah y/n, y/n, did i do something wrong?”

- wouldn’t leave your side the next day bc he got worried you were drinking bc of him

hyunjae

- he was getting tired as this was your tenth time getting drunk this month

- talks super gently to you “cmon let’s get you outta here”

- still loves you tho, he takes care of you the next day with breakfast

- “call me when you’re gonna drink next time”

juyeon

- he rushes to get you as soon as he heard that you drunkenly said you’d walk home yourself (which you definitely can’t)

- best boyfriend duties, he smiles at you, looking at the rearview of you in the passenger seat while he’s driving

- carries you back to your guys’ house and tucks you into bed

kevin

- “are you serious? again? it’s the fourth time this week!” mad but talks gently

- does that “fever check with the back of his hands on your forehead” thing

- carries you so easily with those big kevin muscles

chanhee

- he declined your friends call bc he already knows the reason, he’s too tired

- but ofc he goes to the diner you go to 24/7 and sees you passed out

- he’s pissed off but deep inside hes extremely worried for you but chooses not to show his feeling

- tells you to drink in the house with him next time

changmin

- he was shocked since you said you quit drinking last month but gets a concerning call

- he found you so cute with a flushed face, but immediately takes you home

- you say “oh my gosh you’re so cute but i have a boyfriend.” he jokingly asks/tests you questions to see what you’d say drunk “oh really? why do you like your boyfriend so much?” (when we obvi know the bf is him)

haknyeon

- he’s a little awkward but it’s even more awk bc of how cute you are to him in public, you keep saying he’s hot and you’d date him “if it wasn’t for my boyfriend, haknyeon”

- he tucks you in bed at home and keeps kissing you on the cheek

- he keeps on smiling at your angel face and ends up falling asleep with you

sunwoo

- you think he’d be mad, but he’d be extremely worried for you

- he’d piggyback you to home since it was nearby and make sure you weren’t too cold

- he’d try hard to make the perfect hangover soup and comforts you the next day

eric

- this was the first ever time this happened and he was worried smt might have stressed you out and you didn’t know

- gets shy to ask you the next day, “hey i just wanna ask if everything’s okay? i just want to make sure you didn’t drink bc of something or someone”

- cuddles and watches movies with you after you told him that everything was okay yesterday

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timextoxhajima · 2 years

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Right Person, Wrong Time [1/2]

members: enhypen jake, jay

synopsis: [1st person/omniscient pov] you begin your first day of work with your boyfriend sending you there but amidst all your first-day jitters, you find out that the new CEO-in-training was your best friend who moved away a decade ago.

genres: bf! jake x fem! reader, childhood best friend! jay x fem! reader, angst, fluff, suggestive material, F2L, angst, fluff, crack, established r/s

warnings: cursing

taglist: @changminurheart @allorysayshi @en-boyz @vantxx95 @from-xero @wooyoung-a @changmin-wrlds @nashionalpotatocorner @sapphydean @haechanhues @axartia @sjakewrld

wc: 16.6k words (this is so fucking long)

ost: sunwoojunga - timing | enhypen - just a little bit | keane - somewhere only we know | the 1975 - robbers | urban zakapa - i don’t love you

you remember how it was back then.

the gashapon station was filled with at least 3 rows of machines and there was a particular one you loved. it was a stereotypical pink and white one with a hello kitty label on it, and your head is tilted, trying to read the faded japanese words on it.

you wanted it, but your parents told you that a dollar for a toy you'll probably lose or forget about wouldn't be worth it, so you had gotten used to just reading the labels or looking at the pictures.

"do you have a dollar to get it?"

you turn, looking at a boy slightly tinier than you. you turn back to the machine, pouting as you pick at your fingers.

"i want it, but mummy and daddy say that i'll probably lose it."

"it's just a dollar," the boy fumbles through a tiny pouch he had clasped in his hands. he unzips it, the clinking between the coins taking your attention again. his tiny fingers cover barely half the surface of the coin as he holds it out.

"really?" you excitedly take the coin from him, grinning at it and even squinting to see your reflection in the metal.

"it's okay! i have too many at home anyway."

you clutch the coin in your palm before rushing forwards to the machine and slotting the coin in. with a considerable amount of strength for a 6-year-old, you finally turn the knob and the pink ball drops into the dispenser's container.

you can't crack it open though, so the boy takes (read: kind-of-snatches) it from you and tries to open it too, but to no avail.

"jay!"

he turns around, and you witness the two adults striding towards him with huge bags of winter clothings. "could you open this, please?"

"ah, did you buy it?" his mother glances at you, then watches as her husband takes the capsule.

"yes, but i'm giving it to her. she didn't have a dollar."

"hello," she squats and grins at you. "what's your name?"

"mm, my parents told me i shouldn't talk to strangers," you sulk and step back.

crack.

the tall man picks out, not one, but two hello kitty keyrings from the capsule and hands it to jay. “hm, must’ve been a packing issue or something.”

the boy takes both, then turns around and holds them out to you.

"here. it's for you."

a moment of hesitation, then you take it and admire the shine in the plastic.

“thank you,” looking up, you see his parents looking down at you and the little boy’s attention had already shifted to scuffling through the bags. “do you want one?”

he turns around, blinking innocently at your offer.

“sure,” he takes one of it. “it’s cute.”

"where are your parents, hun?" his mother squats, looking at you from eye-level.

"in there," you point back into the winter clothings store.

"travelling to somewhere cold this winter?"

"no," you continue looking down at the keychain. "they work there."

with your upper teeth sinking into your bottom lip, your squinted eyes carefully manoeuvre the new keyring of the hello kitty keychain onto your wallet. the details on the hello kitty charm had already faded, but you've used a permanent marker and drawn on her nose and whiskers and used nail polish to paint over the entire thing just to preserve it.

multiple times.

just as you're done, your phone vibrates and you look at the caller ID to read the name: "sim 💕"

"i'm fixing the keychain, just give me a minute!"

"you're fixing it on the day you start work?!" jake laughs. "i'm about 2 minutes away. let's hope your bus comes on time!"

"i'm sure it will, we're already leaving 30 minutes earlier. i doubt a late bus can ruin my morning," you smile to yourself, lifting your wallet and admiring the old relic under the lamp. "i'm gonna be out in a minute so i'll see you then!"

"okay, see you, babe."

the hello kitty keychain looks a little haphazard, but it’ll do. so, you pick your bag up and rush out of your room, hurriedly bidding your mother good-bye and kissing her on the cheek before you stumble out of the flat.

the world seemed a little happier today - the morning sun was bright and high in the sky, white fluffy clouds decorating the blue canvas like little cotton balls. you were excited to start work - school had gotten boring and all you wanted was to start earning your own cash. relying on your parents became more difficult as the years went by.

“y/n!”

your eyes snap away from the view above and down back to earth, immediately spotting jake waving to you from opposite the road.

it’d be a lie to say you weren’t nervous. it was your first full-time job, earned only after a terribly stressful interview. can anybody believe they sat you in a room with a panel of five managers and supervisors?

“hey!” jake greets you with a peck on your cheek. “how are you feeling?”

“nervous,” you snuggle under his arm as he lets you rest on him. the bus stop was relatively packed due to the working-adults-crowd, so you find a little more comfort in hiding under his build.

“you’ll be fine, i promise,” jake dips his nose into your hair and combs down the ends for you. “you said the interview was difficult to pass, but you did!”

“i did,” a wide grin spreads out on your lips. “thank you for sending me to work.”

“of course,” jake shakes his head. “oh! i got you a muffin, here.”

he fumbles through his bag and pulls out a small paper bag.

“thanks,” taking it from him, you reach up a little to kiss him on the cheek.

if jake were a phrase, it’d be ‘happy-ever-after’.

the building looked exceptionally daunting when the bus stops right outside it. not many get off the bus because most people who worked here could probably afford their own private transport. but jake pulls you off anyway, being the only source of motivation and reminder that this could just be any other first work day before everything got better.

right outside the entrance, jake stops you and holds you by the shoulder. it earns some unwarranted attention from old, judgemental employees of the company, which does embarrass you a little, but jake’s smile reassures you.

“just do what you always do, okay?” he pulls you into a hug, patting your back. “you’ve always been able to do whatever it is anybody gives you. don’t doubt yourself this time, okay? got your lucky charm with you?”

your hand instinctively slides down the strap of your bag. the keyring is dangling off the side, uneven dots for eyes staring back at you. “yeah.”

“you’ll be okay,” jake pats your hair and kisses your forehead. “i’ll come pick you up after, okay? give me a call when you’re done, i’ll be around.”

“okay.”

jake watches you walk into the building, shyly approaching the administration counter. with one last wave, jake turns, running after the bus that would bring him to his own job.

“hi, how may i help you?” the lady at the registration smiles, standing and greeting you. her name tag reads ‘nam go eun’.

“hi, i’m l/n y/n and it’s my first day of work here.”

“ah! for the marketing department? thought i saw your name in today’s agenda somewhere,” immediately, she looks down at her computer and clicks away.

“yep,” your hands clasp around the hello kitty keyring.

“found you!” she clicks something else and a printer starts running. she lowers herself in a bid to search for a pen, and her shifting away lets you spot some plaques, pictures, and awards behind her.

none of them really catch your attention - they all looked the same - but there was a photo of a familiar face shaking hands and exchanging an award with another person, and right next to him was another familiar face you haven’t seen in awhile. it takes you a moment to clock both their faces, but-

“fill this up for me, and i’ll get the marketing department head to come get you,” she slides the pen and form across the counter to you.

you contemplate asking, but give in anyway.

“i’m sorry for being nosy, but... could i ask who that is?”

she hums, a curious brow raised, before turning around and notes the picture you’re talking about.

“ah, that’s the CEO and his son,” she turns back to you and smiles. then, her eyes dart behind you and she immediately bows, and a startling jab of anticipation bursts through you.

the urge to turn around is faster than the ability to process his face when he walks in. it’s surprise, shock, heartache, all at once, and you know he’s already seen you.

does he recognise me?

“good morning, mr park,” nam go eun greets, smiling between you and him. she’s a little baffled by how horrified you seem to look, and you can’t blame her.

you’re staring at him like he were a walking statue, yet he’s not really paying you any attention other than taking out a wallet from his blazer and handing her his identification card.

“good morning,” he sucks in a deep breath, eyes glossed and hair done. he’s taller. much taller than you last remembered him. “where’s she headed to?”

“marketing department,” her eyes flit from his card to the computer as she logs in his details. “i was just about to call mr kim to come pick her up.”

“no worries, i’ll do that instead,” he nods, now noticing the pen and form sitting before you on the counter, collecting dust. he lifts a finger and gently gestures to it, “don’t you have to fill that up?”

finally blinking your consciousness back into your body, you clear your throat and look back at the form.

“i... yeah, sorry,” picking up the pen, there’s a lack of energy in your hands.

all of it has gone to your heart, thumping so hard, you can hear it in your ears. am i dreaming? you think to yourself.

you can’t tell if he’s acting like he doesn’t know you or if he’s just ignoring the fact that you had been best friends for years before he moved away.

nam go eun finishes with his ID card and returns it to him, anxiously waiting for you to finish the employment form.

“your father has instructed to send you to his office at 11am for a meeting with representatives from AirAsia.”

“11?” he looks down at his watch. “i can do 11. right after i see her to the marketing department.”

you suck your lips between your teeth.

jay park jong seong. do you not remember me?

with a heavy voice and a lack of confidence to look at him, you say, just loud enough for him to hear, “you don’t have to, i’m sure she can make a call for the department head to come get me, it’s-”

“no, no, allow me,” jay shakes his head, resting an arm on the counter as you finish the form. nam go eun receives it politely, sliding it into a scanner.

for a moment, you wonder if he could tell you’re desperate. how would someone who doesn’t know you’re desperate see desperation? just harsh, meaningless glaring or staring with watering eyes? the apparent presence of an awkward silence?

but jay isn’t looking at you. he’s staring at the awards and pictures behind the administration counter with one hand on his hip. he’s scanning the rows of displays until his eye catches you staring at him, and you hurriedly look away out of hidden embarrassment.

“why, is there something wrong with my face?”

suddenly, you wish he didn’t even acknowledge you were here. you couldn’t decide which was worse: him talking to you like he didn’t know you, or him ignoring you because he didn’t remember you.

“is there something on my face?” you wipe your cheek profusely, because jay’s laughing at you. you yell at him, upset. “what’s wrong with my face?”

“it’s a pen mark!” he squeals, pointing at you.

“you drew on my face?!” standing up, you throw your hands at him, expecting him to break out into shouts and apologise.

but he doesn’t. 8-year-old jay giggles, as if the pen mark wouldn’t take another three days to completely disappear; as if his parents wouldn’t berate him for being a mischievous little boy; as if you wouldn’t do the same to him and get a scolding by your mother.

there’s no way he doesn’t recognise me.

“no, nothing,” you clear your throat and swallow the hard ball. your fingers find the keyring from your bag and hide it in your palm.

he’s moved on from this puppy-like friendship you had with him almost a decade ago. what will he think if he sees that you kept that insignificant trinket for that same amount of time?

“you done? let’s get you to the marketing department,” he pushes himself off the counter and slides his hands into his pockets.

“yup, you’re all done,” nam go eun reassures you, sliding an office tag across the counter. it was a normal white card with a blue lanyard. “here’s your staff access card. CEO offices are out of bounds but otherwise, this gives you access to everything else. just call the admin desk if you have any issues with it.”

“okay, thanks.”

your face is on the card. your full name is on the card. maybe jay would see it and something would click.

but he’s not looking at you again, his eyes drifted off somewhere like a curious puppy in a new environment. hasn’t he been here before?

all the questions you wanted to ask... at the tip of your tongue and ready to fly out incessantly, probably extremely probing, but this urge is forced back down your throat in the form of an awkward silence in the lift when jay gently jabs the button for the marketing department’s floor.

“excited?”

your eyes dart to him for a moment.

that smile. that stupid, stupid smile, that disappeared for a decade. that you’ve yearned to see again for so long. that now not only does not recognise you, but he simply treats you like a polite stranger.

just pretend you don’t know him too.

“yeah, i hope it’s worth it. the interview was difficult so i’d say i scraped through.”

“oh, i heard about that. the interviews weren’t so tough before the company revamp.”

“company revamp? what company revamp?”

a frown falls on your face when jay smiles a little. for a split second, maybe he’d finally give you a hug and tell you how much he’s missed you - but that’s not a correct answer to your question.

“i’m the new CEO-in-training,” he holds out his hand. “so they had to choose the new employees a little more wisely to cater to this... young mess.”

he’s... what?

“you- you’re-”

“level 9, doors opening.”

“oh, good morning, jay! or should i say... mr park?”

“morning, uncle choi,” jay lowers his head and steps aside - the opposite direction of you - allowing three employees to enter the lift.

“heard it’s your first day here,” one of the men gently pat him on the arm. his tag is black, and the lanyard’s strap is yellow.

“it is,” jay nods. “so is hers actually! which reminds me, have you seen mr kim?”

“ah,” the man turns and nods to you. politely giving him a little bow, you read his tag. choi gyeong bok, research lead. “marketing team? heard the intake was alot fewer this year due to the revamp policies. hi, i’m mr choi, but everybody calls me uncle choi.”

“it’s great to meet you, mr choi,” you hold your hand out first - which you assume isn’t very common, because he’s pleasantly surprised, a curious grin surfaces on his lips as he takes your hand.

“hold the hand firm, and don’t let go until they do.”

jay looks up from your hands, eyes bright and excited.

“ooooh, your dad teach you this?” you meet his gaze and grin widely, keeping your hold on his hand.

“yeah, he says that’s how people know you’re serious about business. it’s how you impress people through a handshake,” jay nods, looking back down. “then you give it a good couple of shakes-”

and he shakes it so incredibly and awkwardly harsh, it makes you laugh.

“are you trying to dislocate my wrist?” you giggle and try to pull away, but jay begins laughing as well and suddenly, it’s just a game of whether you can tear yourself out of his grip.

“yeah, you shake it like that and the other person would get a free cha-cha lesson.”

“i’m l/n y/n. i know we aren’t in the same department but i look forward to working with you.”

mr choi leans forward and makes a miniscule effort to whisper. “so you are why the standard for the marketing department intake is so high.”

“too big of a compliment,” you smile and wait for him to pull away, which he does, then he turns to his fellow employees and introduces them as well. unfortunately, their lift ride was shorter than yours - why was the marketing department so high up the building? - and they bid both you and the ‘CEO-in-training’ goodbye as they get off a few floors before yours.

“ooh, already impressing superiors on your first day. not bad.”

a gentle sigh. defeat.

“it’s not like he’s my department head, i’d be kissing ass for no reason.”

and then it clicks - what if jay really doesn’t remember you? the CEO-in-training just heard you cuss about kissing ass.

“i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to-”

he scoffs, waving an absentminded hand in the air. “don’t worry about it. i get office politics.”

turning your head away from him, you mentally berate yourself. the day’s barely begun but you’re already completely pushed off everything you were expecting. it’s like the day was just not meant to go your way.

“level 15, doors opening.”

with a gentle ding, the doors open into an empty hallway. there’s a fancy sign on the wall that says ‘marketing department’. jay strides past you with his hands placed on his lower back, the sight of him making you slightly sick to your stomach.

it’s the first time he’s seen me in a decade and this is how he treats me?

he pauses in his prideful stroll, turning around to blink innocently at you.

“nervous?” he raises a brow.

“no,” clearing your throat, you walk out the lift and walk past him, eyes searching the office doors for a ‘kim ji hyuk’.

then at the end of the corridor, there were two options: turn left or right.

left.

“right.”

by the time you reached kim ji hyuk’s door, you’re slightly embarrassed, very frustrated, and very much wanting to smack him across the face for acting like he doesn’t recognise you.

which CEO-in-training would be so friendly to an employee, much less one on her first day?

“i’m here now, so thanks.”

jay nods towards the door, hands gathered behind his back again. “so, knock.”

a squint at him is only returned with a second innocent nod towards it.

he’s the CEO’s son. he’s the CEO’s son. he’s the CEO’s son.

“he’s just my son, not a CEO’s son.”

that was the exact line you remember jay’s father telling yours. when they had found out their little girl had made friends with the child of one of the richest couples in town, they had scrambled to seem like they had their life kept together. they had refused to invite them over to our place for meals, even though you knew very well your parents loved get-togethers.

so, when jay’s parents made the move, you can only imagine all sorts of things and trinkets they brought to the get-together, even when they knew they couldn’t afford it.

his father’s honesty and transparency brought so much comfort and relief to your parents. frankly, it was probably the only thing that convinced them to let you stay friends with jay, else the amount of money they spent on gifts for their family would’ve been enough to wipe their bank accounts clean.

for the third time today, you wondered just how is it possible for him to forget you?

before you can knock on the door though, kim ji hyuk swings the door open with a phone to his ear.

“oh! you must be y/n! yeah, she’s right outside the door, thanks!” he hangs up the phone and shoves it into his breast pocket. he smells like coffee. “i was just told our new CEO would be sending you up.”

kim ji hyuk had a pair of glasses perched on his nose. his hair and forehead were oily, so the handkerchief sticking out from the inside of his blazer seemed self-explanatory. there was a wedding band on his left hand, and he had a piercing on one ear. his tag was also black, but attached to a matching blue lanyard strap like yours.

“nice to see you again, mr kim,” jay reaches out and shakes his hand.

“hi, i’m l/n y/n,” you proceed right after jay, offering your hand like before. “great to meet you.”

“oh! great handshake!” he exclaims, a wide smile crawling on his lips. “why don’t you come in and we’ll talk about your first day. we have some administration to settle, an orientation and other things aside?”

“yeah, sure, of course!”

“i see you’ve already met mr park over here,” kim ji hyuk gestures to jay, nodding and resting his hands on his hips. “first day on the job and playing the welfare card, hm?”

“ran into her at the administration desk, that’s all.”

ouch.

“lovely!” kim ji hyuk pushes up his glasses. “i’ll take her from here, mr park. thank you for the drop-by.”

“no problem, i’ll see you at the meeting later,” jay lowers his head, and so does kim ji hyuk. then he stands straight and looks at you for a moment, something glimmers in his eyes and that sickening, nostalgic feeling of seeing someone you haven’t seen in a long time rushes through you.

he remembers.

you want to grab him by the shoulders and shake a sense of urgency and familiarity back into his head, yell at him for leaving you behind. smack him across the arm and cry about all the years you felt so alone after he left, before you met jake. step on his stupid, sparkly shoes that he was never afraid to get dirty when he used to run in the rain and step in water puddles with you.

was i the only one who kept all these memories?

professionalism and a lack of dignity keeps your fists clenched, jaws locked and eyes down. the questions will probably never see the light of day.

“i’m sure i’ll see you around, miss l/n?” he smiles, and doesn’t wait for you to greet him like he did with his other employees (read: subordinates). turning on his heels and adjusting his blazer, he walks towards the lift like he were in a rush. he checks his watch as he waits for the lift door to open, then turns to face you down the corridor as he slides his hands into his pockets.

but he pulls one hand out to wave to you, and then you see it - a little hello kitty keyring dangling from his pocket that spilled out when he pulled his hand out.

there’s a weight on your shoulders and a cloud of confusion hanging over your head when it dawns on you.

jay is acting like he doesn’t know you.

later in the evening, jake’s laughter is mixed with your mother’s in the background, alongside some clinking between metal cutlery and porcelain. you on the other hand, have been circling the broccoli piece around the plate for awhile now.

there was a resolution to keep this nagging frustration and disappointment suppressed - because you did have a good day at work. mr kim ji hyuk was more than welcoming, in fact, he spoke like he used tiktok and instagram. it was easy to talk to him, and every question you threw at him, he had the answers.

the marketing department team also seemed pretty endearing, so really, all that ruined your day was your CEO-in-training.

but one of your two companions at dinner must’ve noticed your internal suffering, because the laughter dies down and you look up only after realising how much quieter it is.

“hm? what?” you raise a brow and finally put down the fork.

“are you okay?” your mother leans forward. “you’ve been pretty quiet.”

you could tell her about jay if you wanted to. after all, she knew the kid. he was as good as her son for awhile, and you wouldn’t tell her you were there, but you know she cried when jay’s family uprooted and migrated.

“i’m just tired, that’s all,” you decide to wrap it up and leave the table first. “i’ll just wash these and take a bath.”

once you’re in your room, you close the door and rest against it, eyes slowly navigating around the room. there’s a plush sititng on the shelf that was gifted to you by jay. there’s a box of letters written to you, signed by him, packed into the glass cabinet by your table.

why did he still keep the key ring if he no longer remembers me? does he just think he’s had it forever, and that he doesn’t remember where it’s from? did i make a mistake that i didn’t know of? did something happen to him and he lost his memory?

what is a friendship considered, if it’s loved by one and exiled by the other?

the weight has been crushing your heart the entire day, so when you finally push yourself off the door to reach your wardrobe, the weight is shoved up into your face instead. the pressure that had been frustration and disappointment the entire day turned into hurt and betrayal, and then your vision is blurred as you pick your pajamas.

knock knock.

a harsh sniffle as you frantically wipe your face, inhaling back all the snot. “yeah?”

“can i come in?”

you clear your throat, exhaling heavily and fanning your face. “yeah, sure.”

the door knob clicks, and the floorboard creaks a little when he steps into the room. “hey, what’s wrong? do you want to talk about it?”

shutting the door of your wardrobe, you shake your head. “it’s okay, it’s not a big deal.”

“aw, don’t do that,” jake quickly walks toward you before you can escape into the bathroom. “don’t make it nothing. you’re clearly upset about something, so talk to me about it.”

his hands travel from your forearms to your fingers, gently rubbing the back of your palms as he bends down to see your lowered face.

one look, and he could tell you’re trying not to burst out in tears.

he stands, automatically wrapping his arms around you and dipping his nose in your hair while holding your head into his shoulder. “cry if you need to.”

so you listen, and let yourself sob into jake’s shirt.

jay had waited for the lift door to close before sighing, his shoulders slumping and the lack of sleep getting to him. he blinks, waiting for the lift to move, but then he realises he hadn’t pressed the floor button.

he clears his throat, sucking his lips between his teeth and reaching out for the lift button. he catches himself smiling like an idiot when he thinks about the way you took a left instead of a right.

“she still remembers the handshake,” he mumbles under his breath.

when he’s reached the CEO’s office, he’s greeted by his father’s secretary who was waiting for the lift, looking at a folder in hand.

“oh, jay!” kwon jung hwan closes the folder. “your father was just asking where you were.”

“i thought the meeting’s at 11am,” jay lifts his hand and checks his watch. 1030am. “does he need me for anything prior?”

kwon jung hwan hums in thought, shaking his head and stepping aside for jay to exit the lift. “not that i know of, might just want to drop by his office to check,” he looks down, scanning jay, and spots the hello-kitty keyring hanging from his pocket. a gentle scoff escapes his throat. “gift from a girlfriend?”

“hm?” jay’s eyes widen before tracing kwon jung hwan’s eyes to his pocket. his lips part in startled surprise as he hurriedly scoops it back into his pocket. “ah! no, it’s a... childhood lucky charm. it’s a relic. i’ve had it since i was five or six odd years old.”

“that thing’s an antique then. gosh, that makes it, what, fifteen years old?”

“hm, yeah, thereabout,” jay nods.

“by the way, i suggest you ask your father for a nap before you head to the meeting. you look like you have a sleeping problem.”

“what?”

“you have these little things under your eyes,” the elder uses a pen and gestures to jay’s eyebags. “fix your sleep schedule before you become a full-fledged CEO!”

“thanks for the tip,” jay scoffs. “i’ll go visit my father now, i’ll catch you at the meeting.”

“oh, oh, you do that,” kwon jung hwan nods a little impatiently, already waving him off. so, with a small bow, jay turns on his heels and heads in the direction of his father’s office. on the way, he passes a mirror with a vase before it. he does a double take, and steps backward to stare himself in the mirror.

kwon jung hwan was right - the eyebags were pretty obvious.

he blames you, though.

jay could hardly believe his eyes when he looked at the list of new employees that were coming in the next day. he had thought it was someone else with the same name, but he clicked on the folder and there it was - your face - ten years matured from how he remembered you.

“what is she doing here?” he whispers under his breath, clicking on the link to your interview recording.

“i think persistence is more challenging than hardwork. hardwork to me is a given, but not everybody has the resilience to push on and keep going at it until they get it right. i think i have that.”

the interview recording blacks out at the end, and he sees in the reflection a sweet smile and a longing gaze from himself resting in the palm of his hand. he swallows, heart heavy. pulling away from the desktop, he sucks in a deep breath and clicks on your scanned application.

he runs through the resume and your written application, able to hear you saying every single word you wrote on it despite not knowing how you sound like now.

‘she looks exactly the same’, he thinks to himself, leaning back in his chair. in the corner of his desk was a acrylic decorative tree meant for hanging keyrings, displaying several gashopon ones, and on it was the hello-kitty one he shared with you.

he’s used a marker to draw on her face, and clear glue to seal in the markings. multiple times.

but right next to the keyring tree was his clock, the second hand loudly ticking past 2am.

jay had created this little plan of surprise. he’d walk up to you from behind at the time you came to report at work, watch you cry and he’d happily hug you and ask you how you’ve been, how your parents have been, how has life treated you.

he’d show you the keyring, tell you how hard he’s been trying to preserve it, tell you how regretful he was that he lost contact with you.

maybe tell you how he felt.

but that went to waste when his chauffeur stopped at the pick up point and he saw someone else giving you a hug; a kiss on your forehead. it’s another boy his age, with eyes that only another boy can identify.

a gentle look of love, an obligation to care, the need to protect someone he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

it’s no longer jay. it has never been jay. someone had already replaced him, even though he had never been in that position.

“jay?” the driver calls out, looking at him in the rear mirror. “we’re here.”

“ah!” jay shoves the keyring into his pocket, clearing his throat and adjusting his blazer. “thank you. i’ll see you later.”

“have fun at work!”

jay nods again, pushing the door open and stepping out. but he turns as he takes a huge step toward the building, eyes stuck on the car that was driving away.

the impact on his arm is heavy, but then he immediately hears an incessant apologising from the person who ran into him.

when the boy stands, jay can instantly see why you’re in love with him.

“i’m so sorry!” he bows, quickly scanning him. “are you alright? are you injured?”

jay blinks, lost competition weighing his heart down. “no, no. i’m alright, don’t worry about it.”

“great, i’m so sorry about that.”

“it’s fine,” jay buttons his blazer. the boy stares at him for a moment, then quickly bows.

“have a good day.”

before jay can say anything else, however, he takes off, rushing to the bus stop.

he turns back to look into the building. there you were, eagerly chatting with nam go eun about your first day.

there’s a moment of contemplation. he looks down and spots the keyring hanging from his pocket.

‘maybe she won’t even remember me anyway,’ he thinks.

the resolution changes. he scoops the keyring back in.

but trying not to look at you is the hardest thing he’s ever fucking done. god, if he knew it weren’t those fucking exams, or the day his father told him he wished jay would take over the company, he wouldn’t have reacted so badly.

all the words were stuck on the tip of his tongue because you were right next to him.

so close, yet so far.

‘she has a boyfriend’, he thinks. ‘i should keep my distance’.

but clearly, he can’t. his instinct to make up for his absence pours out in the form of employee welfare: sending you to your department as if mr kim wouldn’t be able to come down, when he knew the department head would probably be in his office drinking coffee.

he also knows he went overboard with the compliments. ‘already impressing superiors on your first day. not bad’? jay can’t believe it himself.

but he can’t deny how much it hurt when you reciprocated his little act. maybe despite him acting like he didn’t know you, you’d still be you and look at him with bright, wandering eyes and go ‘oh? jay! is that you?’

he waited, and waited, only for it to fall into a painful, awkward silence he cannot understand, yet brought upon himself.

jay knocks on his father’s office door, waiting for an acknowledgement before he enters.

“come in!” jay pushes himself in. “i understand. will you compile these concerns and have it presented at the meeting later? uh huh, good. anyway, if there isn’t anything else, i have something to see to. mhm, bye bye.”

jay takes a seat on the guest couch, reaching over to the desk and pouring himself a glass of lemon-infused water.

“took a tour around the building?” his father asks from his desk. “ms nam called to say you arrived awhile ago but it’s been... awhile.”

“yeah, i dropped by mr kim and mr choi’s offices to say ‘hi’. i also ran into mr kwon at the lift,” he takes a sip of water. his father comes round the couch and sits next to him, keeping his phone into his breast pocket.

“is that so?” he leans back. “you look tired. not enough rest?”

“couldn’t sleep last night.”

his father hums. “just don’t fall asleep at the meeting later. you can nap afterwards.”

jay nods. “by the way, what time do the employees get to leave office? what are their benefits? like do they get off-in-lieus if they work weekends? any idea what the company culture is like?”

jay’s father tilts his head. “why so curious all of a sudden?”

his son shakes his head, shrugging. “just wondering, that’s all. especially since i’m taking over you eventually, i’d just like to know. don’t want to be a CEO without knowing what my employees go through.”

the elder blinks, pouting his lips in slight agreement. “they get off at work 6, sometimes 6.30 depending on whether they are busy. nobody usually stays past 9pm because the security locks up the building at 9.30pm. most staff get enough paid-leave days, we also have a compassionate leave policy for when they just... aren’t feeling it. off-in-lieus only apply for sundays. company culture differs from department to department but i’ve been told it’s been pretty consistently friendly.”

jay nods, slowly absorbing the information. “so... people stay until 9.30 even when the knock-off time is supposedly 6?”

his tone strikes a chord in his father. his son seems to disapprove. “if they are busy and have things to work on, then, yes. “

“and they have to come in the next morning at...?”

“9.30am.”

jay knows better than to pick a fight with his father. maybe the company’s policies wasn’t all that in his control. even if it were, it’s still a corporate body. without the time spent, there wouldn’t be business, simple as that.

“jay, i want you to realise that we are already offering the best we can. it may sound upsetting or unfair but staying past 6 is a choice. maybe the department heads need them to stay for a bigger project, some urgent matters to settle, this is what working is. as a company, we can only offer rest days whenever they need it, make sure our employee benefits go a long way and aren’t inferior to other companies as far as we can, and for a long time now, we’ve managed to do that. but these are little nitty, gritty details that we simply cannot... change.”

jay hadn’t noticed, but his hand is in his pocket, fiddling with the keyring. “i understand,” he nods and rubs an eye.

“good,” his father sucks in a deep breath and stands. “take a pen and a notepad or something. let’s go for the meeting.”

sitting opposite you was yang mi rae, one of the three marketing department newbies. she’s excited, witty, smart, and unafraid to voice out her thoughts. you’d be lying if you said she didn’t scare you on the first day of work. next to her is koo woo shik, a nerd, also clearly a simp for mi rae. he’s got these glasses that make his eyes so much smaller than they actually are, and he doesn’t wear cologne.

then there’s kim ji hyuk, wondering why he’s sitting with his department children.

you hadn’t seen jay since the first day of work, and it’s already day sixteen. after crying your eyes out to jake, you chose to ignore it, dig a hole and throw this nagging feeling of frustration in and cover it up.

maybe you’ll never see jay anyway, considering he’s the CEO-in-training and you’re just a rookie. this thought doesn’t last nor materialise though, for mi rae was aggressively waving her chopsticks about in the air trying to explain something to mr kim when she abruptly stops, eyes widening.

“isn’t that mr park and his son?” she taps on wooshik’s arm, almost wanting to raise her hand and call them over.

“what do you think you’re doing? we’re not in school calling our friends, they’re literally our bosses!” he whispers harshly under his breath, grabbing her hands and holding them down.

“hm?” mr kim finally looks up from his food and turns around. “oh, it is CEO park. or should i say, mr ‘parks’?” he laughs a low, fatherly chuckle that earns a glare of disapproval from mi rae. “ah... i was just joking,” with a slight pout, he puts his chopsticks down. “really cussed at me with her eyes...”

“uh, mr kim,” you clear your throat and gather your wallet and phone. “my stomach’s feeling a little wonky, i’m just going to the washroom for a little-”

“can it wait a minute? we should greet them,” then mr kim turns the other way towards the isle they were walking down. “mr park! jay! mr kwon!”

you hurriedly turn around and face the opposite way, frowning to yourself and gritting your teeth.

“y/n, are you okay?” mi rae reaches across the table and waves a hand under your nose.

“yeah, i’m- i’m fine-”

“oh, mr kim,” a familiar voice greets. one that you haven’t heard for a decade. “how’s the marketing department rookie team coming about? i see you’ve made great progress with bonding with them.”

“hi, mr park,” mi rae stands, offering her hand. “good to finally meet you. i’m yang mi rae, helping out with the local advertisement team for the first quarter.”

“yang mi rae. great to meet you.”

“koo wooshik. creative assistant to mr kim’s project on airport services.”

“very nice.”

an awkward pause.

mi rae kicks you under the table.

“what are you doing?” mr kim turns and hisses into your back. “introduce yourself!”

“uh- dad, i heard the food today is-”

“mr kim, is she not feeling well? does she need to be excused?”

you wince to yourself, fists clenched and teeth chewing down on your bottom lip. a million thoughts run through your mind in a second.

run away and get scolded by mr kim later? then you’d have to explain to your team why you did. hide your face with your hair and introduce yourself without your name? who do you think you are, shin hari?

maybe he wouldn’t recognise me, like his son.

“ah... shit-” with a great amount of courage, you turn and suck in a deep breath, standing up and tucking your hair behind your ear. “l/n y/n, i’m helping-”

“oh?!”

nevermind.

“jay!” the CEO trills, pointing to you and even walking around the table to get a closer look. “it’s y/n!”

in the corner of your eye, you can make out just a tiny percentage of how confused your department colleagues were.

“my god! it’s been so long!” and the CEO throws his arms around you, awkwardly giving you a hug with your hands pressed into your sides. “how are your parents? how are you? oh, my...! did you know she worked here? do you remember her? why are you acting like you don’t?!”

jay lowers his head after catching your eyes.

“i- vaguely remember-”

“‘vaguely’?! how can you forget? you two were inseparable back in the day!”

now, jay looks up. his features are all stressed into the middle of his face and his eyes are wide, eyebrows high on his forehead as he sucks his lips between his teeth.

“weren’t we just talking about sending someone from the marketing department to japan with you for the conference next month? oh! if y/n’s here then that means she’s passed the interview with flying colors! she’d be more than qualified to shadow mrs yoon!”

japan?

“dad-”

“mr kim, have her application and resume sent to me and mrs yoon. i’ll have it seen that her and your team get the best opportunities there are-”

“dad, you can’t do that because you know the employee-”

“weren’t you just talking to me about employee welfare on your first day of work?” the CEO crosses his arms and squints at his son. jay bites on his bottom lip, sighing while he stares at the ground. “i’m doing just that right now, so what is this hypocrisy?”

mi rae, woo shik and mr kim are all equally confused, which is made even worse when the CEO gives you another hug. “oh, it’s been too long. too long! we must have dinner with your parents soon, hm?”

“yes, mr park,” the greeting slips off your tongue. the cringe sets in your fingers as you ball your fists.

“oh...! ‘mr park’!” he pats you on the upper arm. “she used to call me ‘uncle park’ back when she was still just a tiny thing! oh, i would love to stay and chat but we must have lunch and go off to a meeting at the harbour. i’ll have some treats sent to the marketing department later today- mr kwon?”

“uh- yes, of course, mr park. i’ll have paris baguette send over some pastries for tea later.”

“very good. it’s been such a great pleasure seeing you again, y/n. catch up soon,” with a wide smile, the CEO turns to his son. “come, jay. what were you saying about lunch?”

the group of you lower your head, bowing in respect. mr kwon is turning around as he tails jay and his father, squinting at you. he’s confused because he saw you with jay on the first day.

mr kim is also confused because he saw the same.

and then there’s mi rae and woo shik.

“before you say anything-”

“you were friends with the jay park jong seong?!”

“i-”

“why didn’t you tell us? why didn’t the CEO know? what- i- this is so mindboggling!”

you sit back down next to mr kim, who is looking at the embarrassment and conflict on your face fade into resignation.

mindboggling? i agree.

when you reach the office with mi rae and wooshik debating about something they saw on tiktok, mr kim is quiet as he walked alongside you. you know he’s going to say something, probably lecture you for not telling him that you personally knew the CEO-in-training, but this is jay’s fault for not even acknowledging you.

two hours into the afternoon, you were cc-ed an email from mr kwon that looped you into a discussion about overseas marketing. the list of email addresses it was also cc-ed to included a certain mrs yoon se won and kim ji hyuk, followed by jay park jongseong and his father.

mi rae and woo shik weren’t included.

almost on cue, kim ji hyuk shows up at the door with a little box of paris baguette pastries, casually swinging it like it were a handbag.

“food!” mi rae hops off her seat and rushes for the box, which kim ji hyuk gladly lets go of.

“y/n, may i speak with you for awhile?”

the party of four turn to look at you, a brooding weight of shame washing over you like a dark cloud.

you tail mr kim into his office, which he doesn’t even bother to sit you down before he starts.

“how are you and jay involved with one another? ex-boyfriend?”

your eyes are stuck to the floor. “no.”

he inhales sharply, bringing his hands up to his hips, “would you mind sharing? i think it came as a shock to everyone. even you were. i don’t want our department being the source of entertainment for others, especially when it comes to relationships with the CEO and his son.”

hearing it made it worse than it was already making you feel.

“jay and i used to be close. our families were close. back when we were like six... to like- ten or eleven. but he moved and we lost contact.”

vocalising it felt alot more worse than knowing it on your own.

“is that why he was touring you around on the first day?”

a moment of hesitation. “i don’t... know why he did that. i met him at the admin desk when ms nam was handling the administration matters and i recognised him... but he just... treated me like i was just another employee.”

kim ji hyuk sucks in another deep breath, crossing his arms. “so he didn’t acknowledge you as someone he already knew?”

you shake your head.

maybe it was because he had kids of his own. maybe he knew jay on a personal level. maybe he knew something you didn’t.

but whilst you were expecting a lecture or discrimination of some type, kim ji hyuk pats you on the shoulder.

“are you going to ask him about it? they seem pretty serious about sending you to japan. you’ll be stuck with jay for about a week. i’m not talking about sharing a room and whatnot, but you’d be seeing him the moment you sit to have breakfast and until your day’s schedule ends.”

looking up, kim ji hyuk has this look of sympathy on his face.

“can’t you send wooshik or mi rae? i’ll replace them on whatever projects they’re handling now.”

kim ji hyuk’s pupils waver, looking away for a moment as he gives it a thought. he retreats his hand from your shoulder and shoves them into his pockets. “mr park seems to be pretty excited to send you because he knows you and jay know each other, so unless you have a valid reason, he’s not going to allow mi rae or wooshik to take your place. he’d just... not send anybody from the marketing department.”

he pauses, then in a less-corporate-tone, says, ”this is good opportunity for you. if you do your job well, it’ll reflect well on the department. it’ll reflect well on me. but i absolutely do not want to send you on a journey with someone whom you clearly can’t understand did what he did, so i need you to promise me that if you go, you have to remain professional, and if you can’t, then i won’t send you to japan.”

the words echo in your head, like a reminder that somehow, a perfect fairytale from your childhood has turned your professional life into a sticky web of mess.

and yet you don’t know why.

like you, jay had already had this nagging instinct that mr kwon was staring lazers into his back everytime they were in the same room. how dare the CEO-in-training act in such a manner in public, infront of employees? with no ounce of grace and so much shame?

the young entrepreneur thought to use mr kwon’s delivery service to the marketing department to run off into another part of the building ‘in search of company archives so he could learn more’, but the secretary seemed pretty apt in catching his new boss scurrying around like a little rat.

“mr kwon!” jay blinks an embarrassed expression as he literally runs into him around the corridor corner. “i was just... looking for you!”

unimpressed, mr kwon crosses his arms. “looking for me in the cargo lift lobby?”

jay clears his throat, mischievous grin wiped from his face. he scratches the back of his head, looking away and sniffling.

“mind explaining what the hell happened in the eatery?”

jay pouts a little, looking everywhere except mr kwon. “well- it just seemed- like- ms l/n- and my father-”

“talk at this speed and we’ll be here the entire day, jay,” mr kwon tilts his head. “you were with her on your first day. clearly, you don’t hate her. clearly, you know her. why are you acting like you don’t?”

“i’m not acting-”

“your father wants to send her to japan with you to meet mrs yoon. don’t be a disgrace and treat her like she’s invisible.”

“i won’t-”

“so why are you avoiding her? did she step on a wrong toe? is she an ex-girlfriend?”

jay shoves his hands into his pockets so he can ball them into fists.

“your father said you were inseparable. childhood friends?”

a moment.

jay nods.

mr kwon considers the thought processes. he’s known jay since he was a teenager, and he’s not a bad kid. in fact, he knows jay is a mature person, who did things with reasons albeit never really sharing them.

“i’m guessing you have feelings for her and you don’t want to complicate it with work.”

jay looks up from the floor, a small frown on his face.

“i’m right,” mr kwon sighs loudly, turning away and looking around the corridor. he reaches up and scratches his forehead. “your father would rather not send anybody to japan if it’s not her, because he knows her personally. that would leave you with mrs yoon.”

“can’t you send someone else? can’t you go with me? what about mr kim?”

“i have to stay to help your father with his meetings, and mr kim has to stay to oversee what his department is doing.”

jay winces, running a hand through his hair. now that the cat is out of the bag, his frustration pours out in his slumped shoulders and stressed brows. jay can’t fight the urge to scratch his head, messing his hair up in the process.

“i had forgotten about her. i tried to move on... i was waiting for an appropriate time to look for her once i’ve settled here but then i rolled up to the building and saw her and all i wanted to do was to run over and say hi and ask her everything i could but she was with her boyfriend and i just thought i couldn’t get close to her again because she already had a boyfriend and i didn’t want to ruin the company dynamics or make it awkward for anybody or make it difficult or complicated for her because i’m the new CEO-in-training and i thought i could do it but i couldn’t because i ended up giving her that damn tour and bringing her to mr kim even though he could come get her himself and then i managed to avoid her for like two weeks only for my dad to ruin it infront of other people and now she’s being sent to japan with me? what am i supposed to do, ask her boyfriend for permission?”

jay sucks in a deep breath.

“sorry.”

“are you done?”

jay nods.

“firstly, don’t ask her boyfriend for permission. that’s already mixing personal life and work life. secondly, does your father know about your predicament?”

jay shakes his head.

“so he thinks you were just...”

the younger nods.

mr kwon groans, bring his hands up to his face and rubbing his temples. “look, mr kim is already looking into seeking approval for y/n to follow you to japan. if y/n agrees, then you’ll have to work with her for 7 days, see her for most of everyday. would you be able to do that?”

“i can, i just... wouldn’t know how to explain myself if she confronts it.”

“did she acknowledge you on the first day?”

jay shakes his head. “she’s... mirroring me. i know she remembers me, but she’s doing the same as i’m doing to her, and i don’t know why.”

“what do you mean ‘you don’t know’?” mr kwon almost rolls his eyes and reaches out to shove jay. “you act like you don’t know her so why should she be the first to put her pride down and say ‘hi’? think about how hurt she is.”

mr kwon can feel the weight of the atmosphere when the silence falls. he watches jay lean back against the wall, head hung low.

“i know you did it out of courtesy that she has a boyfriend, but do not let this affect your work. if she confronts it, explain yourself.”

“you want me to confess to someone who already has a boyfriend?”

“i want you to explain like the mature man you are. you might’ve done a dumb thing but you can fix it the smart way, even if it means throwing your pride away, even if it shocks her. she wanted an explanation, so she will have it.”

jay looks up at mr kwon through his messed-up fringe. he can’t decide if that’s great or horrible advice.

“i’ll weigh my options,” he quietly pushes himself off the wall. “i’ll go run through some documents. my dad wants me to start prepping them for the japan trip.”

mr kwon lets jay give him a deep bow and watches him turn on his heels, walking back towards the CEOs’ offices.

“thanks for waking up early just to call,” you hold the phone to your ear, passport in your other hand and luggage by your knees. “i’ll text you when i touch down in japan.”

“mhm, you better. please take care of yourself?”

“sure,” you look up from your feet, looking out the entrance of the airport and spot an expensive car stop at the drop-off point. “i’m covered by insurance anyway.”

“you know that’s not what i meant.”

chuckling in response, you watch as mr kwon comes out of the car to get the door open for jay’s father, and jay himself comes out the other side, walking around the vehicle to open the car boot. jay was in a casual shirt with a blazer over and formal pants - and those formal shoes cannot be comfortable - but he probably didn’t have a choice.

“the CEO’s here, i think i have to go.”

“okay, remember to text me when you’ve touched down and reached the hotel.”

“okay,” the party of three make their way into the hall. “bye, jake.”

“bye, love.”

grimly keeping your phone into your jacket pocket, you stand as jay’s father spots you first, and you immediately lower your head as a greeting.

“mr park.”

“y/n! oh, i hope we haven’t been keeping you waiting for long.”

“not at all,” you purse your lips in a tight smile. “i was early.”

“did your parents not send you? i was hoping to meet them.”

“ah, they have to work. i didn’t want them waking up too early.”

“are they still working at the winter clothes shop?”

“they’ve actually opened their own snack shop near a high school a couple of years ago.”

“is that so? what’s the name of the store?”

“‘the uniformed crowd’! i thought of it when they were asking me for ideas,” the excitement makes you look dumb for awhile, so you purse your lips and wave it off. “it’s just something i thought of.”

jay’s father blinks at you for a moment, then turns to mr kwon and says, “google the store name and send some tonic and birds’ nest over.”

your eyes widen, both mr kwon and jay turn to look at the working CEO.

“i’ll have it addressed from the company as employee benefits-” mr kwon clears his throat.

“what? no. address it from me, with my full name on it. i’ll have a card written and sent with the package.”

“mr park, please, you don’t have to-”

“i must. you don’t know how horrible i felt when we lost contact with your family. oh, the days jay spent crying because he missed you-”

“dad,” jay coughs, lowering his head and inhaling a harsh breath. “i think it’s best we check-in our luggage.”

“oh, you’re right, better not be late for your flight!”

once through the departure gates, mr kwon and mr park seem like a comedic pair of husbands sending their children off - they weren’t that far apart in age, so it wouldn’t have been too awkward - unlike you and jay, of course.

hate isn’t strong enough a word to describe how horrible this feels. to be in a place with another person you know, you definitely know, and yet not say a word to each other. it’s fine if it’s someone you’re not close to, that’s natural. that’s how you were with wooshik during the first week of work, and even now.

but you don’t don’t know jay. there’s still a slither of hope that he’d be the one to cave in first, cross his arms and whine at you for keeping up your ‘stranger’ facade for so long.

you look to the other end of the row of seats, only to see him studying the boarding pass as if it were some kind of essay with a bunch of details to memorise.

‘it’s just your name, your seat number, flight number, flight time, destination- what else is there on the stupid thing?’ you think, rolling your eyes to look out the window instead.

“business class passengers, please head to the boarding gate. kindly prepare your boarding pass and passport upon entry, thank you.”

jay stands first, picking up his briefcase and turning to you.

“come on,” he nods his head toward the boarding entry. picking up your little backpack, you tail him and watch as he greets the airport staff.

it’s the usual routine when you get on, but you’re definitely not used to how huge and spacious the business class seats were. jay takes his seat first, calmly looking through the little seat pockets.

so you focus on your own bag, only taking out your iPad, then trying to lift it onto the storage space above the seats.

but of course, it’s too high for you, and you’re this close to stepping on your seat to push it up, until jay suddenly stands, grabbing your forearm.

you can feel the heat from his palm through your blouse.

he’s staring at you intently now. for a moment, you’d think he’d tell you off for wanting to step on the seat because his lips part. but he swallows, bobbing his adam’s apple in the process. jay pulls you down, forcing you to retreat your leg, before he climbs out onto the isle and helps shove your bag into the storage compartment.

he pushes the door down with ease, leaving you to watch him awkwardly from earth.

“tell me if you need it along the way,” he pulls his blazer off and casually leaves it over your shoulder. the scent of his cologne almost immediately swamps your nostrils, but he barely provides you with a smile before lowering his head and plopping himself back down in his seat.

a frown settles on your face, but he’s too busy staring at the stupid brochure he pulled out from the seat pocket.

the brochure’s the last of your worries though, because you had clearly forgotten what it felt like to be suffering from motion sickness.

yep, i’m one of those girls.

“could i get some warm water?” you whisper lowly to the air stewardness when she finally comes by.

“of course.”

“thanks,” you turn back to face the screen. gulp. your stomach growls silently.

the whole cabin looks like it’s shaking. your ears are barely picking anything up. the corner of a paperbag’s sticking out from the seat pocket-

jay’s faster than you when he reaches for the paper bag and almost tears it apart as he tries to open it, then he holds it under your nose as you hurl your breakfast into it. through teary eyes, you spot his free hand fumbling around your seat pockets and he pulls out a second one, taking it and shoving it into your hands.

he urgently jabs the ‘call’ button, and within a few moments, the stewardess shows up with warm water.

“hey, can i get more paper bags and maybe a lemon slice or two?”

“oh, of course! there should be one more in your seat pocket while i go get some more.”

“okay, thanks,” jay takes the cup from her and carefully stocks it into your cup holder. you wait for him to search through his seat pockets.

he doesn’t.

“are you okay?”

“are you okay? you look sick.”

your mouth is consistently salivating, and something feels wrong in your stomach. the view of the sea extended so far out, you thought it was beautiful - that is, until your body disagreed.

“i’m gonna hurl-”

“what? don’t hurl on deck!” jay squeals, turning around and immediately running back indoors. you had assumed your best fried had chosen to ditch you, but he returns right in the knick of time and almost shoves your face into a plastic bag.

“oh, ewwwww,” he whines, looking away as you retch into it.

“y/n? y/n!” jay’s mother rushes out onto the deck, nearly sliding on her knees as she anxiously pats your back. “are you okay? watch her, jay, i’ll go get her some lemonade.”

by the time you’re done regurgitating your breakfast, jay’s more than disgusted when he pulls the plastic bag away from you. he holds it as far as he can, and ties the handles to seal it.

the door bursts open again, and his mother is holding a glass of lemonade with a little bottle of medicated oil.

“come here, sweet,” she kneels, pushing your wind-blown hair out of your face. “oh, you must have motion sickness. i’m so sorry, i wouldn’t have chosen a cruise if i knew.”

she hands you the glass of lemonade, which almost instantly makes you feel better, then opens the bottle of medicated oil and rubs some on your temples.

“feel better?” she waits for you to finish the lemonade before asking. with a gentle, tired nod, you let her take the glass from you. “i’m so sorry.”

“it’s okay, i didn’t know either,” shaking your head, you look at the empty glass. “can i have more?”

“can i get lemonade if you have those? maybe lime juice or some sort?” jay requests again when the stewardess returns with more paper bags.

you can hear her hesitate for a moment, before she goes, “i’ll check and be right back if we have any.”

“thank you,” he pulls the paper bag away and holds your chin, tilting your head upwards. the sound of the paper bag crinkling tells you he’s probably twisting the mouth of it and keeping it elsewhere, then reaches into his blazer (that was still on you) pocket and pulls out a bottle of medicated oil.

“hold on to the paper bag,” he instructs, opening the bottle and dabbing his finger onto the tip. the scent of the medicated oil washes away the stench of the vomit, and a sigh of relief escapes your throat when he presses his fingers into your temples. your breath is trembling, but it slowly regulates to a norm with every circle he draws on your skin.

“mr park, one cup of lemonade and some paper bags.”

“oh, that’s great, thank you.”

“please let me know if you need anything else.”

“thanks.”

the sound of her corkshoes step away, leaving you and your haggard breathing alone with jay, who's doubling as a babysitter right now. once the stewardess had gone, you slowly open your eyes, letting your vision return to normal and your heart calm.

in the corner of your eye, you can see jay reaching down to dab more medicated oil, so you sit up and clear your throat instead, “i’m fine.”

he halts in his movements, barely touching the tip of the bottle. without a word, he caps it, then proceeds to wipe his hands.

“thank you.”

he doesn’t acknowledge, simply slipping the medicated oil back into the blazer pocket.

“you know where to get the medicated oil if you feel nauseous again.”

you’re a little embarrassed when you get off the plane and see the same stewardess who ran back and forth for your paper bags and lemonade at the gate, but she does nothing but greet you with a smile. some part of you had expected her to snicker, but she’s a professional, unlike you.

after you’ve collected your luggage and headed for the escalator leading to the exit, jay’s already on his phone and making some calls. only now do you realise you’re still wearing his blazer. so, you begin pulling it off to return it to him.

yet, he stays on the phonecall for a considerable amount of time, and even after getting off the escalator, he’s still on it. you walk by the crowd welcoming the plane’s passengers, tailing jay, until he almost abruptly stops as he greets a lady in a blazer jumpsuit.

he finally keeps his phone.

“mrs yoon!” jay puts on this wide, gorgeous smile, that you haven’t seen for such a long time. there’s this annoying ball of anxiety hurtling about in your chest when you can see his canine teeth and his eyes fold into crescents.

“well, i haven’t seen you for some years and you’ve grown!”

his smile is still the same.

“...me introduce you,” jay turns around and holds an arm out. “this is ms l/n y/n. she’s one of our newest marketing researchers.”

mrs yoon is your height, but she’s in heels. she has obviously-dyed hair, and has definitely spent a significant amount of time on her makeup and curled hair. she looks tired, but also like someone who would hold a cockroach by it’s wings to catch it.

“pleasure to meet you, mrs yoon. please guide me along the way, i’m so honored to be learning from you on this trip,” you hold your hand out.

mrs yoon’s eyes dart down to your hand, and the awkwardness begins to creep up on you. there’s an impending feeling of danger and threat when mrs yoon seems to be refusing your handshake, but then she sighs and her shoulders slump.

“an honor to be learning from me? oh, please! one of the three marketing researchers of park’s?” she shakes her head and tuts her tongue, taking your hand and sandwiching them between hers. she has a wedding band on her finger. “i couldn’t be in your position back then at your age. park must trust you a lot to send you here with his son.”

“and this,” she reaches down to your arm, pulling the blazer off. “why’d you make her carry your blazer for you? she’s not your personal assistant, is she?”

“oh, no, no!” you hurriedly wave your hands, eyes widening as a gentle frown on her face starts to scare jay. “he lent it to me on the plane. i left mine in my luggage.”

“ah, couldn’t you have said that earlier?” she continues to shove the blazer back into jay’s hand, then reaches down into her canvas-sized Dolce & Gabbana bag to pull out a scarf. “you must’ve been freezing! going onto the plane without a jacket! come, let’s go for the 11am meeting, then i’ll take the both of you to lunch.”

and with that, she slides an arm across your upper back, patting your arms as she guides you off. with a slightly surprised demeanour, you turn to jay, searching for any sign of comfort.

which he does provide you - a kind smile, a reassuring nod, as he mouths ‘it’s alright, i’m here’.

the meeting felt like being thrown back into classroom - just without the equations that confused you or the vocabulary that you couldn’t understand. no, you understood perfectly what every word was said in that room, but given the context?

nothing.

but mrs yoon can tell you’re confused, so she takes it upon herself to ask the presenters to dumb the explanations down a little for easier clarification and to ‘minimise confusion’. maybe it was the way she said it, or maybe because she was the company’s representative for Japan.

the presenters dumb the content down, and essentially gave a summary of the 50 slides they had, and whilst you were feeling grateful to mrs yoon for making your job easier, there’s a reminder that you’re lucky you weren’t on the other end of this conference.

“you’ve managed to consolidate all your content into a five minute break-down with much simpler terms. why’d you need half an hour for all that prior?”

yikes.

jay leans back in his seat. he can tell you’re flustered from across the table, so he has this little, sneaky smile on his lips before he looks down at his documents. he definitely finds it amusing to see you react to mrs yoon’s work atittude.

what’s he laughing at? a little grin threatens to surface on your lips. no, i will not cave first.

but if you had to choose a favourite moment admist all these culture shocks and surprises, it’d have to be when jay totally forgets about the fact that he knows you, and that he was pretending not to. it’s ironic, considering you had hated his pretence so much, so hard, since the first day at work.

maybe it’s because you hadn’t seen him for so long - having him speak to you without that barrier and the additional caution of saying something wrong felt more natural than any other thing he’s said to you in the last twenty days. he’s not concerned about bumping hands with you when he hands you a document or when you hand him the glass of water he asked for. he goes ‘check the stats for last year’s quarter for me, would you?’ without even looking at you.

he has no time or space for a problem, a problem that is you, when he is working, and that’s when it feels the least tiring, the least complicated.

but at the end of the day, when you’re back in your hotel room and supposed to give jake a call, all you can think of is: “so why are you avoiding me?”

jay yawns, leaning back in his sofa seat with the documents strewn about on the glass, coffee table. he looks around the room, which was a corner suite, and his immediate thought is, “why’d they give me such a huge room when there’s just me?”

he scoffs to himself, running a hand through his hair, then rubs his palms over his face in tired exasperation. he lets out a long, painful groan, shutting his eyes and letting the last four days of intense working get to him.

he sits up, looking at himself in the reflection of his balcony sliding door. his hair is in a mess and he probably looks like he should get some sleep, but all he can think about is you next door, probably calling your boyfriend and complaining about how distant he is, how cold and confusing his actions have been.

he might just have to jab his own eyes to stop himself from looking at you anymore.

ring. ring. ring.

“hi, mrs yoon,” he tucks his free hand under the other as he holds the phone up to his ear.

“hey, i’m so sorry to call so late. but i just wanted to tell you that the meeting tomorrow with the embassy has been cancelled. your father will have it online next week instead.”

“ah,” jay rubs an eye. “that’s-”

“so that clears up your schedule, right? with y/n?”

jay sits up and leans his elbows on the table. “not on first-name-basis with her anymore?”

“oh, she’s such a joy to guide! but yes, that does clear up your schedule with her, doesn’t it?”

he hums in quiet contemplation. “yeah. might be able to catch a flight home tomorrow then-”

“oh, no, no! take her on a tour around osaka, would you? i have these vouchers and gift cards that i wouldn’t be able to use and my daughter would spend all her time on these cafes instead of studying.”

a small chuckle, but jay is in slight shock. he’s not prepared. “mrs yoon, we’re here for work. i don’t think it’s appropriate-”

“who said you aren’t? you’re going around osaka for recces for future publicity or commercial uses. wherever you go, note the menu prices, note the space and the location, whether they are photogenic and whether they are accessible by public transport or private.”

jay wants to groan his frustration away, but he can’t. he almost slams his face into his palm. “have you told my father?”

“i’ll tell him after.”

“is that a good idea?”

“what’s he going to do, fly here and drag you home?”

“the money spent is technically yours. it won’t be reimbursed.”

“and the company benefits. what seems to be the issue?”

through parted lips, jay sucks in a harsh breath. “i understand that you want y/n to have fun on the trip, but this seems... somewhat unprofessional.”

there’s an awkward pause over the call, and mrs yoon sighs as well. “you and your professionalism. just like your father!”

jay smiles to himself, somehow eased by her little outburst. “let me inform my father regarding the change of plans. i’ll check if we can get the vouchers and gift cards you’ll be giving us reimbursed and logged under expenditure and then i’ll take her out on the tour, okay?”

“will your father even see this by tomorrow morning?”

“my father might not, but mr kwon would.”

another pause. “fine. and if mr kwon doesn’t approve, just take the vouchers and gift cards anyway!”

jay laughs. “goodnight, mrs yoon.”

“...goodnight, jay.”

pulling his phone away from his ear and processing the change in schedule, jay can’t help but sigh again. if he had a dollar everytime he sighed, maybe he’d be a little richer than when he first started on this trip.

back in his office, mr kwon read the email the moment it was sent. the little ding had pulled his attention from packing his briefcase to the computer screen - it was a late night, but only because james park had literally peer pressured him into having a steamboat dinner with him.

normally, he’d refuse, and use the excuse of office hours to stay out of his business, but mr kwon can tell his boss is feeling lonely because his son is out of town, so he usually relents and indulges in the good things that he’s being offered.

but he pulls out his glasses and reads the email, sent directly from jay, and he’s a little more than concerned when it sounds more like an excuse to go on a date with his crush (read: subordinate).

that is, until mrs yoon sends an email as well, in a much less freedom-of-choice tone.

Change of Schedule

Yoon Se Won - Japan Representative and Marketing Executive, Sinar Tours

to: Kwon Jung Hwan

Good evening Kwon,

Following the cancellation of the embassy’s meeting with us, this frees up Jay and y/n’s schedule. Jay would’ve already sent you an email regarding the updated schedule. It was my idea. If I was available to give them the tour myself, I would’ve. But I have a last minute conference with the subsidiaries here.

Let the kids go on a one day trip. Jay will keep log of the necessary details for the overseas department, and I will make sure I’ll have these documents collected. They’ve done well the last four days, one day of rest wouldn’t hurt.

Let me know if you have any issues. Should James disapprove, let him know that the company doesn’t need to cover their costs. Thanks.

Regards,

Se Won

mr kwon groans, pulling his glasses off and scratching his forehead.

RE: Change of Schedule

Kwon Jung Hwan - Secretary of the CEO’s Office, Sinar Tours

to: Yoon Se Won, Jay Park Jong Seong

Thank you for the appropriatedly-timed email,

Please retain any receipts of payment throughout your schedule. We will arrange private transportation for Mr Park and Ms l/n. Please see attached for details and contact numbers of those involved.

Goodnight,

Kwon

“yeah, i know. just frustrating that he doesn’t want to talk me through this. mhm,” you roll around on your bed, hair flared out against the sheets. “mhm. i know. okay, goodnight. call you tomorrow after the meeting? yeah, okay. goodnight.”

pulling the phone away from your ear, you lock your phone screen and sigh, inhaling the lavender scent of the room.

knock knock.

“room service!”

a frown sets in your forehead as you sit up, eyes darting to the door.

“hi, delivery for ms l/n y/n?” the hotel staff, who isn’t even a housekeeper, stood outside with a boutique box in her hands.

“uh... yes?”

“mr park had this sent to your room.”

“mr park...?”

“of sinar tours. isn’t that-”

“yeah, i know...” she hands the box to you. “but which-”

“mr park jong seong!” she smiles. your eyes fall onto the box, and in the corner, you recognise the LV logo. “goodnight, ms l/n.”

“ah, goodnight to you too.”

memory takes you back to that phone call he had on the escalator when you first touched down in japan.

a little wince and groan, before you decide to take the box and throw on a hoodie to leave your room.

jay had just come out of the shower and drying his hair with the towel around his neck when the door knocked. he’s a little stunned to see you through the peephole carrying the Louis Vuitton package he had ordered for you, then he hears a little ding of the delivery message.

he swallows, opening the door after a few seconds.

you thought he’d tell you to go away, that it was just a gift because you didn’t seem to have a nice blazer of your own, but he’s just staring at you the same way you’re staring at him.

the scent of the hotel shampoo and bath gel wafts through your nose, and you can vaguely feel the warmth pouring out from his bathroom. his wet hair is slicked and covering most of his forehead, and it felt like he had frozen in time.

if only you could’ve actually frozen him in time, so that he’d never leave you. his face and his entire being something you wished you could’ve taken a screenshot and kept forever, maybe make a clone that would’ve stayed with you the last ten years; forge his DNA onto someone else, print his face and stick it onto someone else’s head.

anything to have him back.

why are you so near but so far away from me?

all the things you wanted to ask surfaces on your tongue again.

he’s here now, but he’s no longer the little boy you cried to about getting your period.

he’s here now, after disappearing for 10 years, after promising he’d be here for you whenever he needed it.

“pinky promise?”

jay looks up from his little gameboy, confused. “promise what?”

“that you’ll always be my best friend. that if i got mad or sad, i can always go to you.”

jay pouts. “i’m not going to leave, why do i have to promise this? now you’re making me sad.”

“just promise me!” you hold out your pinky finger and jab his tummy with it.

“okay, i promise!”

but he broke his promise. and not only that, he’s treating you worse than if you were a stranger.

“i can’t take this,” you abruptly snap yourself out of your trance. holding the box out to him. “i’m sorry i don’t have a more presentable blazer, but i’ll get one soon.”

jay grips the end of the towel on either side of his shoulders. “that wasn’t what i meant when i ordered it for you.”

‘for you’?

your heart drops, not because you thought this was sweet, but because he’s just being so fucking confusing.

“we have some free time tomorrow before the embassy meeting. i’ll head to the nearby department store to buy a new blazer.”

“um, about that,” he rubs the back of his neck. “the meeting’s cancelled.”

you blink at him. “oh. does that mean we’re going home tomorrow?”

“no, we have to... um, go on a recce. for locations that we can use for future commercial and promotional purposes.”

“i’m... not following.”

jay gulps, sucking in a deep breath. his eyes roll up to look at the ceiling like he were blinking tears away, and the whites under his pupils seem so glaring to you. “we’re going touring for work,” he says, now looking back down at you. “we’re going to cafes and resturants and souvenir stores that aren’t commonly visited by tourists. we need to log their catalogue or menu so that we can promote these places.”

your lips part first before the sound of acknowledgement can come out. “ah...” you want to say ‘that sounds fun’, but you look down and see the box in your hand again. it ruins your slightly-elevated mood. “anyway, here. i can get a blazer when we’re at one of these stores, i’m sure.”

“it’s for you. take it,” his voice settles. you can tell he can’t really look you in the eye now, because he’s looking at everywhere but your face.

but when he does, there’s this strange, magnetic force that’s begging you to wrap your hands around him, ask him where he’s been and why he’s been treating you so horribly. for a moment, you think he’s feeling the same. his lips are slightly curled downwards, tired eyes are begging for you to cave in first, and his grip on his towel is getting tighter, as if he were desperately trying to hold back from-

“it’s late,” he finally sucks in a deep breath, his chest expanding as he looks back into his room. “you should get some rest. be up by 9am.”

the moment has been completely shattered, and you almost want to scoff at the thought of him being such a coward, but you nod and retreat the box.

“okay. thank you for the blazer, nonetheless.”

jay doesn’t even respond. he barely nods. he steps back into his room and closes the door on you.

the sudden emptiness in the form of a door closing on you feels horrible. there’s a little ball stuck in the back of your throat and you don’t know why. or do you? your hands are trembling, holding the box, simply because there’s clearly something holding him back from caring for you like he used to.

but what could be more important than reuniting with your best friend?

jay almost dies once he’s out of your sight. there’s a frown cemented into his face, and he’s biting into his bottom lip for being such a scum.

the moment he had seen you in person outside his door, he wanted nothing but to hug you and cup your face and perhaps kiss you, get everything out of you because he got none of you in the last 10 years.

he wouldn’t consider life without you hard, but it would’ve been so much easier if you were around to listen to his worries, or just... be there. as he grew older and a little wiser, his circle of friends that hadn’t even been around for long began to shrink, and before he knew it, he was yanked back here, a place where he should feel at home.

but that’s the problem.

you were his home, but he wasn’t the only person who thought of you that way.

he clenches his fists, pulling the towel off his neck and almost hurls it onto his bed.

jay would be lying if he said he didn’t melt into a puddle of goop once he saw how beautiful the blazer was on you. he didn’t know if it was because the blazer itself was pretty, or whether you had complemented it.

it was a newly launched piece, and he thought about you the moment he saw it. he was just waiting for the right time.

but there you were, excitably noting down every single thing in the menu and their prices. even without him saying anything, you even made the effort to order a corn cup for him.

was that your way of saying something?

but jay is a little boy with a hopeless, unrequited love wrapped in clothing that screams ‘i am a professional’, so he remains just that. he eats without a word, only every now and then asking how the food you were having was.

you were treating this recce so much more seriously than what it was originally planned as, it tickled him in a strange part of his heart to see you having fun at work, in a company that would eventually be his.

it could be yours too.

should.

would have.

jay snaps out of it, hurriedly looking out the window of the cafe before you catch him staring.

your last location was a restaurant down by the river, and it was a pleasant surprise when the manager personally came to see you and jay to the table. it had the most gorgeous view over the city with the glimmering river just right below, and it was even more of a surprise when the manager began speaking to jay in japanese.

all you could was offer a service smile, nodding and half-bowing everytime he looked at you. but when you whipped out your notebook to write down the menu details, jay stops you.

“we’re not here for work. mrs yoon had a gift voucher for this restaurant, and they’re a long time collaborator with us.”

“ah,” you sheepishly keep the notebook. “so, what did he say? i didn’t know you could speak japanese.”

jay blinks in contemplation.

“good evening, mr park. how’s your father and mrs yoon?”

“they’re doing well. how about you?”

“oh, the same old!” he paused. “who is this? colleague?” a cheeky pause. “girlfriend?”

jay had looked to you in the corner of his eye, but you were too busy admiring the city out the window.

“my best friend from a long time ago.”

“hmm,” the manager somehow maintains a professional smile. “best friend to her, but what about you?”

jay is in slight disbelief. “i-”

“yare yare! let me bring you the new in-house five-course meal, shall i?”

“asked about my parents and mrs yoon and whether we’d like to try their new in-house five-course special or the usuals.”

you nod slowly, feeling the awkward tension settle. if you could put it into words, it feels like a bunch of earphones tangled together.

fortunately for you, the food is a pleasing distraction from jay. mr higasa was more than happy to try his best to explain the food to you whilst you had it like you haven’t eaten in days. his enthusiasm and animated gestures made it all the more worth it.

maybe that’s why jay’s family loved him so much.

but mr higasa held none of jay’s attention, for his eyes were on you the entire night. your little frowns and squints at mr higasa while trying to understand and guess his mangled, unfluent speech made him want to sob. all the small attempts to live up to mr higasa’s energy made him want to smile, until he remembers that all of you already belonged to someone else.

someone else would’ve already been seeing this the last few years, had the chance to tell you how pretty you were when you’re trying; had the chance to admire how you always showed how much you loved doing whatever it was you were doing.

the frustrations builds in his chest, and it slowly wipes the smile off his face.

mr higasa ends the night with a deep bow and a wide smile on his face at the entrance of the restaurant. “thank you for coming. please come again, i make sure the prawn salad perfect!”

“thank you for the food, it was wonderful,” you smile and return the bow.

“heading back to hotel now? when are you going home?”

“our flight is tomorrow morning, so yeah, we should be heading back to the hotel.”

“you must walk along river! in the night... very pretty!”

jay squints at the manager from behind you.

“really?”

jay can hear the excitement in your voice and how beautifully you fell for mr higasa’s trick.

“of course! ask jay to bring you!”

“oh,” you turn and look at jay with a pathetic smile. “i think we’d better not. our flight is early tomorrow-”

“river just downstairs,” he waves a mindless hand in the air. “okay, okay! sayonara, safe flight home! you take ms l/n, okay?” lifting a finger and gesturing to jay, he turns on his heels and walks off.

once in the lift, you’ve returned to your little bundle of tangled earphones. stifling a little yawn, you look away and sniffle, careful not to catch his eyes in the reflection of the lift door.

“we can go back to the hotel.”

jay considers it for a moment. “no, i know where the river is. we can take a walk along it until we reach the road and call a cab.”

“we don’t have to do it if you don’t want to and if you’re tired.”

jay doesn’t respond. the silence cues you to look up, and you immediately knew he had gone quiet so he can look at you in the reflection.

“i said we’ll go, so we’ll go.”

the assertion is a little surprising, but you lower your head in acknowledgement anyway.

the first thing that struck you about the river was how quiet it was - maybe because it was a weekday night. but the sound of the water sloshing against the water banks, the rustle of the leaves in the trees and the occasional frog croaking in the high grass made you feel like you were actually on a holiday.

for a moment, you had forgotten that jay was even there.

but then the sight of a little patch of mimosas catch your attention. even under the dim lamps lining the paths, the patch of darker colored leaves had held its same significance for the last ten years.

jay’s father loved taking you to parks and fields. you remember the day he squatted you down by a little patch of mimosas, tell you how they’d close up when you touched them and how the pink flowers hooked onto your socks for them to spread to other areas.

jay loved prancing about in the grass like a little fawn, searching for them and squatting to poke at them. so eventually, you did the same. the both of you made it a point to find every single patch in every single field and close all the leaves. sometimes, you’d even make it a competition, see who could find more patches.

as you grew older and jay left, it went quiet. your parents did make an effort to bring you mimosa hunting, but it wasn’t the same when you couldn’t hear jay’s giggling or whining when he knew he was winning or losing to you.

just a few years ago - the year you had met jake, in fact - you had gone to the field where you remembered finding the largest patch of mimosas.

you remember it clear as crystal - only because you realised you had fallen for someone else while still being wholley dedicated to jay.

it was a shameful day, squatting by the stupid patch of mimosas and crying about realising you liked jake when you had promised yourself you’d wait for jay to come back no matter what. if jay was around, you could tell him what you were fussing about.

if jay hadn’t even left, you wouldn’t have fallen for jake.

this is all jay’s fault, you had thought.

but eventually, you had convinced yourself that even if jay was going to come back, he’d move on, find someone else and you’d just be his childhood friend.

who will wait ten years anyway?

there are tears in your eyes when you finally look away. only now do you realise jay has already overtaken you, standing just a few metres before you and watching you struggle to compose yourself.

but this feat is nearly impossible, and you fail thoroughly when the urge finally tears through your composure.

“why are you acting like you don’t know me?”

the question comes out airy and light, like a whisper in the wind. jay, who had already turned and ready to begin walking again, manages hears it.

you suck in a sharp breath, then ask it again, “jay, why are you acting like you don’t know me?”

fuck.

jay winces to himself, licking his lips and inhaling quietly. he turns around.

“i know you recognised me since the day we met at the administrative counter. i know because i saw the hello kitty charm in your pocket. i know because you looked like you had just seen... a ghost. me. i’m the ghost, aren’t i?”

jay shoves his hands into his pockets. he sucks in such a huge breath, his entire frame expands as he looks away. he holds his breath for a second, then exhales heavily.

the ball is back in your throat. the stupid patch of mimosas is doing nothing but trigger all your memories again. you’re caving in first, but there’s nothing more to lose anyway.

“do you know how hard it’s been... to pretend that i don’t know you? i don’t know how the fuck you do it, but i’ve kept the stupid hello kitty thing for this long- i see it and i think of you, i see the plushie you gave me that’s sitting in my bedroom everytime i get home and i think of you. i have every single letter you’ve written me packed into a box. i can’t even walk past mimosas without thinking of us fighting over who can close more patches. and- and now- i can’t even go to work in peace because i’m constantly worrying that i’m going to run into you and everything will turn awkward like what happened with your father. i’m sure he doesn’t know you’re treating me like a stranger. if he knew, surely, he’d whack you across the head.”

the tears have finally rolled out. the cool river wind kisses the trails like ice on a hot day.

“can i at least know... if you still see me as your best friend? or at least... that we once were?”

jay’s gone quiet. his eyes are silent. you’re having a hard time reading his face.

but you don’t know how hard it is for jay to be hearing this, do you? you don’t know how great it feels for it to finally be out, that one of you had finally caved in. you don’t know how horrible it feels, because jay’s answer is already on the tip of his tongue.

i’m pretending i don’t know you because you have a boyfriend. because you already have someone who can give you everything you want and everything he can. you already have someone who has been there for you when i wasn’t.

but jay can’t say it. he will bring this to his grave, for he doesn’t want to ruin your fairytale. he’s already ruined the kick-off to your career.

you’re less of a coward than he is.

you’re about to throw up when he finally, but also very suddenly, starts walking towards you, and without hesitation, he wraps his arms around you.

you take a second to process this, for his weight and force pushes you back a step or two, but the scent of his cologne wafts through your nose and the familiar warmth of him embraces you like all the hugs he should’ve given you in the last ten years had been consolidated into one.

through little chokes and voice cracks, you manage to whisper, “fuck you, this is so fucking long overdue,” part of you wants to pull away to punch him in the jaw and step on his foot for being an asshole but the tears are already blurring your vision too much.

your heart relents.

your arms circle his torso and you shove your face into his collar, letting the tears fall and this bittersweet reunion eat you up from the inside.

“i’m sorry,” he finally whispers into the top of your head. he pulls away to push your hair back, making sure none of it was stuck to your tears. “i’m sorry i pretended. i’ve always been here with you. always.”

“fuck you, no, you weren’t,” a pathetic whine escapes your lips, and jay barely chuckles before holding your head into his coat again. “please don’t leave me again. please.”

the sound of your sniffles rip him apart. not because you’re asking him of something that might’ve sounded unfair.

but because he knows he’s never left. he never did. he never will.

“i’m sorry i broke my promise. i promise i won’t leave you again.”

Part 2

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