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funnel-webbed-au · 7 months

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A Quiet Calamity

Tag List: @skellebonez,

Riley's Notes: Knock knock bitch, it's angst o'clock. Nezha has to go talk to Ao Guang because he feels obligated to. He is NOT received the way he expected because this AU is supposed to have themes of trauma and recovery. Also, CW for referenced suicide as per Nezha's myth. Also note I am working on something else at the moment and this blog isn't high on my priorities right now.

He'd always known this would be the hardest part.

As Nezha made his way through the underwater, yet watertight city, he could feel a sinking sense of dread, a sense of fear that made his skin crawl... and that made the venom in his veins burn far worse than the restraints that had been used to subdue him. The Deity flinched as he caught glances of the distant descendants of the still-living children of Ao Guang, innumerable Dragons who each paused to look at him.

He could feel them staring, feel their judgement, feel their hatred for taking one of their ancestors from them. Nezha sighed, crossing his arms as he allowed the Fire-Tipped Spear to be taken by the Huan-Tian Ling Sash. The armillary sash clasped the spear firmly, wrapping itself around the blade in a blatant reminder of the blood that still couldn't be washed off, despite its invisibility.

Each step began to feel heavier, like someone was dragging him down, trying to stop him from going further. Still, he persisted, even though he could feel the fear of his younger self as he struggled to slow him down, even enough to stop.

No.

The only thing he had to fear was fear itself.

Nezha walked up the steps to the grand East Sea palace, even though each piece of cut material felt sticky, like his feet would be glued to them. Still, he marched on, until he was close enough to knock on the front gates of such an enormous building.

The deity hesitated, but soon enough, two knocks on the palace doors reach his ears, and now all he could do was wait.

The East Sea Dragon King opened the doors. His eyes widened for a moment, then narrowed, brow furrowing. This man had some nerve to be here, at his palace, after all of the blood on his hands and on his spear. One of the Dragon's sons had met his fate to this man long ago, but the Dragon's wrath faltered as he saw the tired bags under the Deity's eyes, and the way he carried himself. He behaved as if he was under duress, and as if he had been forced here.

He had no will of his own.

"What did they do to you...?" Ao Guang's voice brought Nezha pause. The Deity's eyes widened as the electricity in his veins died down, and with it, his tremors. Well. If there was any kindness, any love, to be found in this terrifying place, he wasn't letting that lie.

Nezha sighed. "Only the ones that love me would believe the answers I have for that question, and I can count them on one hand. Hong Hai'Er, Bai Xian, His Highness Erlang Shen, and Lady Lian Lanhua. Although Sun Wukong and Chang'E might be applicable, which would make six."

The East Sea Dragon King released a heavy breath.

"I will not press you for an answer you are unwilling to give... but you underestimate how many cartoonishly evil acts I have heard of, witnessed, and done..."

Nezha couldn't help but restrain a chuckle. Cartoonish evil? He'd been privy to that, privy to the worst of it. He'd been a victim of it. Sure, Ao Guang had his reasons, but nothing justified it. Nothing ever would.

"Like forcing a child to-" The Deity stopped and pulled away, the icy claws of dread sinking into his heart.

"...I... I should take my leave-"

Ao Guang grabbed his wrist.

When the shorter immortal turned to him, he realized that Ao Guang's brow had furrowed, expression and thoughts muddled.

"...No. This needs to be addressed.

I didn't have the right."

With those words, it felt like the world was closing in on him. Nezha could feel the stares, feel the judgement from across the city. His lungs felt like they were filling with fluid, filling with his own blood... just like that day. His vision swam as the steps shifted beneath his feet, all while the Dragon King remained steady on them.

Ao Guang caught the ancient Deity when his legs gave way beneath him. Some part of him just wished it would all stop, wished it would wait for him. But nothing and no one would wait for him...

He needed to rest.

~ ~ ~

Ao Guang carried the tiny Deity through the halls, arms firmly yet gently clasped around him. Where a 6'2 Deity had once stood and walked alongside him, a frightened, 4'6 child was now in his arms, trying so hard to trust one of the people who'd hurt him the most.

As the East Sea Dragon King sat down in his chambers, he let Nezha rest on his lap, running his claws through the little boy's hair. It was hard for him to miss the tremors from him that resulted from every touch, no matter how light, and it made Ao Guang's heart feel like it was made of lead.

"...do you promise...? Promise not to be a scary dragon...?"

Ao Guang retracted his claws, carefully adjusting to scratch behind Nezha's ears. Six hundred years ago, he wouldn't have known how important such a small gesture would be, but he'd come to appreciate a man he hadn't even liked before as a dear friend. It was only natural at this point.

Nezha released soft purrs, breaching the relative quiet of the room. For once, the scales felt familiar, soothing, and he couldn't help it. The tension in his body melted away entirely, as if he hadn't felt like he was choking on the steps mere hours before. As his heart slowed and his eyelids grew heavy, he finally felt the magics in his veins balance themselves. Finally, the volatility was quelled for a time, and Gods, had he missed this.

Ao Guang didn't move him, even after the little Deity fell asleep there.

Footnotes: FW!Nezha sometimes regresses as a trauma response and defense mechanism. It's the only way he can fully block out his traumatic memories for lengths of time. This is how I chose to integrate both his child and adult forms into this AU, as both depictions are important.

#[once bitten and twice shy - sydney - nezha]#[The Restless Tides of the Eastern Seaboard - Ao Guang]#cw physical abuse mention #[arc two - toxic tides - post-canon]#cw suicide mention #tw suicide mention #lmk ao guang #lmk nezha

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disabledunitypunk · 4 months

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I want to revisit exactly why we founded this blog in the first place.

I was viscerally reminded of it while scrolling an entirely different liberation tag. I found a post that I liked and went to the blog to see if I might like to follow them. The second recent post on their blog was this, which as I was reading I found myself relating to.

Warning for uncensored references to slurs. This is done for readability in the context of talking about them, and the slurs are neither being aimed at anyone nor reclaimed in this context, even where reclaimable.

You know how you look back at past shitty connections, friends, family dynamics, and relationships and you're like "I can't believe I let them treat me that way"? I think it hits differently with disability because when you're disabled you don't always even know that you're being mistreated and/ or abused in regards to it.

I know statistically disabled people are more likely to be abused but sometimes there's an additional type of abuse that's hard to identify even in hindsight because no one tells you how abusive it is.

But ableist abuse relating to your disability can look like:

Pushing you to do things beyond your limitations despite their awareness of them.

Blaming you for the "inconveniences" brought on by things beyond your control (ex: missing a movie because you had to wait for your pain meds to kick in).

Not allowing you to take breaks or antagonizing you when you do.

Bullying or making fun of things you can't help like gait, a lisp, an embarrassing symptom.

Trying to "cure" or "fix" you, often framing it as "helping" you. Sometimes they look similar and you might be able to tell by their reaction towards lack of improvement.

Holding over you the things they have to do for you (cooking, cleaning, driving, working, etc).

Giving ultimatums that demand things of you that you can't do (getting a job, keeping up with multiple chores).

Using insulting terms, language, and/or slurs that you have not permitted them to or in a context where there is intent to harm you.

Interrogating you about your disability or trying to find discrepancies between your experiences and what they've heard/read/seen about it.

Implying or saying anything along the lines of you faking, being lazy, or exaggerating.

Reducing you to a hypochondriac, saying you enjoy being disabled because you seem to like having things done for you, or that you're lazy or abusing them by depending on them for things.

Asking you about it not to learn more, but to use it against you in some way.

Having a martyr complex, acting as if they're a hero for giving you the support you deserve.

Calling you a burden, implying you to be one, or treating you like one.

Acting like you owe them a debt, sometimes even demanding some kind of repayment. Keeping track of money they spend on you that you won't be able to pay back, feeling entitled to things like control, sex, a portion of government benefits, etc.

Self victimizing. They act like you being disabled causes more suffering to themselves than you.

Accusing you of being addicted to your medication. If you genuinely develop an addiction a normal response is concern not rage, finger pointing, etc. if you don't have one baseless claims are very harmful

Trying to force you to stop "depending" on things you need like medication and disability aids

Comparing you to others that are doing "better" than you. Maybe showing you inspiration porn of someone with no legs for example doing incredible things- which is great for them but the "I don't let my disability stop me so you can do anything" shit is harmful. Some of us will get very unwell if we try, and some just can't.

Trying to make others also see you as dramatic, faking, or lazy. Often embarrassing and mocking you as well.

Withholding things you need like medication or disability aids as a punishment

Saying your disability is karma or something inflicted by a divine entity/religious figure. Maybe as punishment for not praying, being queer, or something else they disagree with.

Saying that it's a result of being "promiscuous"/ LGBT. For instance if you have HIV or ME/ CFS that was a result of something like mononucleosis ("kissing disease")

Shaming you for things related to your disability beyond your control or expressing embarrassment over these things. including but not limited to: appearance (general but also things like say a lupus butterfly rash or weight gain/loss), having to lay down in public (ex: with POTS), inability to keep up with hygiene, etc.

Lacking boundaries and acting as if they are entitled to information or intrusion of your space/belongings due to the power they hold over you and assistance they may provide.

Implying/saying you're living an extended vacation. Maybe one they say they wish they had because they have to do x y z while you "sit around"

Abandoning you solely for your disability (ex: because you can't hang out, they don't want a disabled partner, think you're faking, etc)

Note that someone doing one or two of these things a few times doesn't always mean they're abusing you (also depends on which). It's about the patterns and frequency of this behavior as well as refusal to improve once aware that they're hurting you. People who care about you don't want to hurt you and the normal response is to do their best not to repeat the action that negatively affected you

There are more examples and you can feel free to list some

Except it was then, at the very bottom, followed by:

✨This is about physical illnesses and disabilities, please don't derail✨

So let's go point by point, shall we?

Pushing you to do things beyond your limitations despite their awareness of them.

This is universal to all forms of disability, and in fact neurodisabled people are often pushed beyond their limitations by people aware of them precisely because those people think neurodivergence can't be profoundly disabling, rather than thinking a specific individual's physical disability isn't so in their specific case or based on their specific diagnosis.

Blaming you for the "inconveniences" brought on by things beyond your control (ex: missing a movie because you had to wait for your pain meds to kick in).

While this one is universal to abuse in general, I have no problem with a post about ableism focusing on ableist abuse. There is in fact a unique manifestation of this kind of abuse with ableism, where the things that are beyond your control specifically are also causing significant distress to you, as opposed to another aspect of your life like a physical feature or care breaking down or something that is either neutral or external.

However, it is in fact not only not exclusive to physical disability, but in fact one of the primary ways neuroableism manifests, because neuroableism relies on blaming individuals for things beyond their control by pushing the narrative that it would be in our control if we just "tried harder". This is not unique to neuroableism, either; corpoableism very much does this too, precisely because it relies on the sanist ideology that physically disabled folks are not intellectually capable of knowing our own disabilities and limits.

Erasing either type from the narrative would be wrong and lead to a reductive and facile understanding of ableism.

Not allowing you to take breaks or antagonizing you when you do.

Once again universal. Not being allowed to take breaks for neurodisabled people can lead to burnout, PTSD, self-injury, brain damage, traumagenically triggered development of chronic pain disorders and chronic illness, and more.

Bullying or making fun of things you can't help like gait, a lisp, an embarrassing symptom.

Once again universal, and I'd like to point out that gait can be and lisps usually are neurological in nature. They are very much physical manifestations of what are often or even primarily neurological conditions, and are in those cases considered forms of neurodivergence.

Trying to "cure" or "fix" you, often framing it as "helping" you. Sometimes they look similar and you might be able to tell by their reaction towards lack of improvement.

Autism S/peaks exists for this exact reason. "Curing" divergences in functional neurology is the entire basis of sanism and therefore fighting it is a fundamental part of the very foundation of mad liberation. This is actually a form of ableism more prevalent against neurodivergence, especially unpalatable neurodivergence, than physical disability. It is even present against nondisabling neurodivergence (that which causes neither distress nor dysfunction), which is an important facet to consider in understanding how ableism functions - even solely against people who ARE disabled.

Holding over you the things they have to do for you (cooking, cleaning, driving, working, etc).

Yet again universal. Somehow I wonder if this person thinks neurodisabilities aren't actually, well, disabling. Neurodisabilities can make you unable to cook, clean, drive, work, make appointments and access care, do paperwork required to receive the "benefits" you need to survive, and more, just as physical disabilities can.

Giving ultimatums that demand things of you that you can't do (getting a job, keeping up with multiple chores).

Again, neurodisabilities are disabling.

Using insulting terms, language, and/or slurs that you have not permitted them to or in a context where there is intent to harm you.

Retard. Stupid. Crazy. Idiot. Insane. Dumb. Sociopath. Bipolar. Narcissist. Psychopath. Schizo. Antisocial.

Just because you refuse to recognize many of these as slurs doesn't make them not slurs, and they are certainly "insulting terms and language". The ones mentioned are specifically often weaponized against neurodisabled people based on various aspects of their neurodisabilities, and not always based on the exact definitional meaning or common usage of the slur. For example, a person with ADHD might be called "insane" for finding their ADHD profoundly disabling, despite ADHD not typically being considered under the umbrella of disorders/neurodivergencies most impacted by sanism.

Interrogating you about your disability or trying to find discrepancies between your experiences and what they've heard/read/seen about it.

Refusing to recognize autism outside of "Rain Man" stereotypes. Refusing to recognize inattentive and mixed subtypes of ADHD. Refusing to recognize cluster B disorders if a person seems "nice". Refusing to recognize OCD outside of excessive cleaning. Refusing to recognize complex dissociative disorders outside of a very narrow definition that excludes medically recorded and accepted presentations of CDDs. Refusing to recognize psychosis and schizospec disorders in anyone who is able to express themselves.

Those are just some of the many extremes that we have personal experience with - never mind the more subtle and insidious forms of this kind of abuse that don't involve outright fakeclaiming and barred access from treatment/support.

Implying or saying anything along the lines of you faking, being lazy, or exaggerating.

Not only is this a primary manifestation of neuroableism, but it is in fact the one that is most prevalent in disabled community infighting and discourse, most typically weaponized against neurodisabled people. This one is particularly ironic for that reason - physically disabled neurodisabled people are called abled or told we are pretending or want to be more disabled than we actually are the instant we dare to talk about how our disabling neurodivergence profoundly disables us; let alone that we AND "physically abled" neurodisabled people do not in fact gain access to abled privilege.

Reducing you to a hypochondriac, saying you enjoy being disabled because you seem to like having things done for you, or that you're lazy or abusing them by depending on them for things.

*Stares directly at pretend camera like I'm on The Office*.

Another one at least as equally prevalent against neurodisabled people, though for this one I hesitate to claim more so. I've found that our experiences with chronic pain and executive dysfunction are near-identical in this respect.

Asking you about it not to learn more, but to use it against you in some way.

Having a martyr complex, acting as if they're a hero for giving you the support you deserve.

Calling you a burden, implying you to be one, or treating you like one.

Self victimizing. They act like you being disabled causes more suffering to themselves than you.

Doing these all together because they're all related.

Autism warrior moms are the most visible example of this, but people who act in any sort of caretaker role to disabled people, related or not, do this all the time. They do this regardless of specific disability. Parents of disabled children and partners of disabled people (and friends and other relations) are all "heroes" in societies eyes, and often not only don't challenge that, but wield it against their children/partners/friend/etc.

Also, the entire concept of "narcissistic abuse" is just this.

Trying to force you to stop "depending" on things you need like medication and disability aids

Withholding things you need like medication or disability aids as a punishment

Grouping these together a bit out of order because they're also related. The addiction narrative is especially common with antidepressants, anti anxiety meds, and especially ADHD meds. My own abusive parent tried to get me off my meds for this reason.

This is also the reason meds like ADHD meds are systemically refused and withheld - the anti-addict narratives, fear of "dependence" and withholding meds as a "punishment" for challenging the narrative that disabled people can't know their own disabilities or that a psychiatric professional might know less or be wrong about them.

Accessibility aids that are necessary for preventing meltdowns and/or shutdowns such as stim toys, light-sensitivity glasses, noise-canceling headphones, and such, are also often withheld because they don't want you to "depend" on them or as punishment.

Yes, and Albert Einstein was autistic. Vincent Van Gogh was suicidally depressed and schizophrenic - and the fact he did some of his best art while actively being treated for these is erased. Edgar Allen Poe, among other things, likely had a seizure disorder - which is a form of neurodivergence as much as a physical disability. There's dozens of examples of this for just about any given neurodisability, whether with someone famous or simply another family member with the same diagnosis, just as there is for a given physical disability.

Saying your disability is karma or something inflicted by a divine entity/religious figure. Maybe as punishment for not praying, being queer, or something else they disagree with.

Another universal one, but especially applies to depression, self-harm, and suicidal ideation.

Saying that it's a result of being "promiscuous"/ LGBT. For instance if you have HIV or ME/ CFS that was a result of something like mononucleosis ("kissing disease")

This is so far, the first one I've seen that primarily affects people who are physically chronically ill (though ME/CFS actually specifically causes neurodivergence in the form of profound cognitive disability - an example of how systemic physical conditions are often partially neurodivergent in nature due to the simple physical organ responsible for consciousness being affected).

While there are outliers, such as trauma disorders resulting from abuse occurring in a queer relationship that you have less recourse and resources for in a queermisic society, I think it's at least possible to have a conversation about this one centered on physical disabilities without excluding a group just as severely and commonly effected.

However, it is neither distracting from a conversation nor decentering the most effected to simply acknowledge that even this is not wholly exclusive to physical disability, and it in fact enriches the conversation and makes measures which fight it more effective to analyze the totality of how this form of ableist abuse is used against people.

That's... kinda the whole basis of the theory of intersectionality.

I'm not sure if this is just a more specific repeat of the second point or a similar but different manifestation of it, but as someone with physical disabilities that come with flushing and rashes, with POTS, and whose inability to keep up with hygiene is as related to their neurodivergence as their physical disabilities: this I would say is more common in terms of appearance with physical disabilities but equally as common in terms of hygiene with neurodisabilities.

Some exceptions include Down Syndrome, FASD, and even some disabling intersex variations in specific contexts for appearance; and it's worth noting that hygiene is slightly more commonly weaponized against those with invisible disabilities than those with very visible ones in either case, though cases of significant acne and other skin conditions are a large exception to this as well.

Lacking boundaries and acting as if they are entitled to information or intrusion of your space/belongings due to the power they hold over you and assistance they may provide.

Once again a very basic form of abuse, but made worse by the inherent hierarchical power imbalance of being abled while you are disabled (or in some cases, being disabled but a parent or disabled but having financial power over you in any relationship). This is actually one of the single most prevalent types of child abuse specifically, but especially against both neurodisabled and physically disabled children.

Implying/saying you're living an extended vacation. Maybe one they say they wish they had because they have to do x y z while you "sit around"

Hm, I wonder if neurodisabled people ever have the distressing and disabling aspects of their neurodisabilities erased while people act like they are on vacation while being profoundly disabled by their brain to the point of being unable to work. /sarcasm

Abandoning you solely for your disability (ex: because you can't hang out, they don't want a disabled partner, think you're faking, etc)

Is your disability disabling? Then this in fact likely applies to you! I don't know a single neurodivergent or physically disabled person who hasn't experienced this, even amongst neurodivergent people that are in their own words not very disabled by their neurodivergence.

So out of 27 examples, exactly one is primarily experienced by physically disabled people.

Somehow I fail to see how it is "derailing" to acknowledge forms of ableism as experienced equally by neurodisabled people, but I do find conversations of ableism actually derailed by insisting on not letting a significant portion of the disabled community (including what is a significant portion if not a majority of the physically disabled community) talk about the full extent of their experiences with ableism.

Or, to put it more simply, it is derailing discussions of ableism to insist that they are exclusive to physically disabled people when they are not, and especially to accuse other physically disabled people of derailing if they talk about how their experiences with ableism are intersectional with and even inseparable from their neurodivergence.

I have an example to add to this list after all: DARVO, an acronym which stands for Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and offender. When you deny that neurodisabled people face this ableism (or that they face it at similar rates, to the same extent, etc), attack them for bringing that up, and act like they are being ableist while you erase disabled people's experiences with ableism, you are guilty of this.

This is the whole reason we coined unitypunk and made this account - to address lateral ableism within the community and erasure of both corpoableism from neurodisabled folks and neuroableism from physically disabled folks. The community has been more successfully fractured by this discourse than any fed psy-op could ever have done or even hoped for, and part of fighting that is refusing to tolerate ableism in our spaces and reminding people that we have a common goal - total liberation for ALL disabled people.

When you perpetuate ableism against one part of the community, you reaffirm the structures that oppress us all.

There are in fact conversations to be had about variances in oppression that cause unique forms of abuse towards physically disabled people - such as how the slightest of slopes or uneven surfaces can make a "walkable" city utterly inaccessible to mobility aid users, or even the microaggression of the term for a city that is supposed to be more accessible specifically focusing on those who can walk, a language choice which often shapes the inattention towards accessibility needs when planning these spaces. Another fundamentally interrelated example of this is lack of masking and social distancing during the ongoing pandemic - in another way effectively shutting disabled people out of public spaces.

There's also conversations to be had about the unique forms of ableism that affect neurodisabled people - such as the carceral institutionalization of neurodivergent people for anything from refusing to medicate psychosis whether or not it is causing distress or dysfunction, to being plural, to being suicidal, to being autistic and a hacker, and all the forms of violence and especially suppression of neurodivergent identity that come with that.

I want it to be clear: I chose two examples I am directly affected by that I consider equally serious precisely to illustrate how important both of those conversations are. The utter erasure and apathy towards making even the most tiny of steps that are inconsequential for abled people towards accessibility in public spaces that make them completely inaccessible for us as physically disabled people, and the incarceration of neurodisabled people and forced "correction" of our neurodivergence are massive forms of structural ableism that massively impact us as disabled people on a daily level.

The narratives used to justify these forms of oppression often rely on one another to function, and that's a really important part of the conversation! Disabled people are "crazy" for demanding we be taken into consideration when planning accessibility because either "we already are" (except it's ramps that are utterly unusable or similar that is just an elaborate display allowing abled people to get away with patting themselves on the back for doing less than nothing) or because "the pandemic is over" or similar.

Disabled people need to be locked up "for our own good" to cure us of the sickness ravaging our brains until we are compliant - and mental illness diagnoses are weaponized against physically disabled people and we are enforced to endure CBT for chronic pain and illness as a form of medical gaslighting because really, our disabilities and the ableism we face are just "thought distortions".

This is again, basic intersectional theory. Conversations about transphobia are enriched by discussing where transandromisia, transmisogyny, and exorsexism overlap and interact, as well as how these all rely heavily on and perpetuate intersexism. Conversations about the unique ways pluralmisia manifests based on perceived and actual origin and disordered status and how much of pluralmisia relies on sanism and oppression of mad and especially psychotic people benefit from acknowledging all of that, while also acknowledging that aspects of pluralmisia exist independently of sanism and manifest uniquely for nondisordered and endogenic plurals, as well as for plural non-systems.

At the same time, there are conversations to be had centered on the unique forms of oppression within a marginalized group. In my experience, conversations about exorsexism and ceteromisia in particular need a space to focus on the marginalization of those who aren't binary or binary-adjacent, despite exorsexism overlapping significantly with binary forms of transphobia and gender essentialism and bioessentialism based in those false binaries.

Another example that I can speak less to, but want to acknowledge, is the variations in anti-black, anti-indigenous, anti-AAPI, and other forms of racism. Racism as a rule doesn't map in a lot of ways to other forms of oppression and so comparing them as such is often clumsy at best and actively racist at worst.

Given how much eugenics and white supremacism and colonialism rely on and inform ableism in turn, though, I think it's important to bring up. Examples such as schizophrenia being recategorized to diagnose black civil rights activists as violent crazy people so their imprisonment and experimentation on could be "justified" to white society - where it was previously considered a disorder of white housewives; black asylum prisoners being the primary victims of lobotomies and other experimentation; the overdiagnosis of oppositional defiant disorder and other conduct disorders in (typically autistic) black children are some of the ones I'm most aware of.

I am aware however that my knowledge on the subject is sorely lacking and welcome all people of color to add to this part of the conversation.

All this to say - I started this blog to try and open these conversations up. I have definitely been guilty of being reactive myself (and speaking for other headmates as well) in response to ableism and cruelty. I don't mean to tone-police myself or anyone else, but I do want to acknowledge that we personally want to move away from that and feel that doing so will make us specifically more effective as facilitators in this conversation.

Every time we add a related perspective to a conversation and someone says "oh, yes, and also this", it reminds us that the goal of unitypunk in addressing ableism as it affects all disabled people and rejecting ableism within our communities is possible. Every time someone has the courage to add a perspective we did not consider to our posts, we are grateful that they took the time and effort to foster solidarity and educate us and others on it.

We always wanted to create a supportive community and movement that welcomes diverse experiences and perspectives, and allows the valuable insight of different people to enrich our conversations about and activism against ableism. We've been far from perfect in doing so, but even where we've disagreed on matters that specifically affect us and our specific disability, we have no end of appreciation for every participant who has recognized our humanity and disability.

If you agree that at the end of the day, organizing with the ultimate goal of liberation matters most, and that fighting ableism wherever it occurs is the most important thing, you are embodying unitypunk. It's a movement that refuses to handwave ableism as "disagreements", but also refuses to let true disagreements stand in the way of standinf unified against ableism.

We hope that going forward, we can continue to create a safe and accepting space where all disabled people can have both these focused and general conversations about ableism, while specifically making sure to include everyone affected by said ableism.

#unitypunk #ableism #sanism #neuroableism #corpoableism #neurodivergence #physical disability #cw brief mention of suicidality #cw brief mention of self-harm #cw psych abuse #cw psych hospitalization #cw brief mention of 'narc abuse' (in context of it being ableist)#racism #transphobia #intersectionality

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jamiesfootball · 6 months

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🎃 trick or treat 🎃

You get a long snippet (act surprised):

Roy flipped to a page at random:

'Ah, la belle dame sans merci who lived in his heart, made known to him in transitory fading splendor by dark eyes in the Ritz-Carlton, by a shadowy glance from a passing carriage in the Bois de Boulogne!'

The book Ted had given Roy had started with, ‘It was a dark and stormy night.’

“Oi!” Jamie started, sitting up to give Roy a concerned frown. “This one isn’t the first in the series.”

Roy shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. They’re all supposed to be self-contained stories. Don’t think I’ve ever met a person who read Wodehouse in order.”

Mollified, Jamie settled back into the cushions with Roy’s book, seemingly unaware of the puzzle Roy was rotating in his head.

Within the first few pages, he had a good idea what Ted intended by giving Jamie this particular book. He also couldn’t help but notice that he’d been given a book fit for his six-year-old niece, and Sam had been given Ender’s Game, and somehow Jamie had been the unlucky bastard with a reading assignment that would make any university student want to stick pencils in their eyes.

Also Anthony Patch was a posh rich twat.

#trick or treat asks #ask game #snippets #partway through suffering through The Beautiful and The Damned and BOY HOWDY DO I HAVE OPINIONS ON THIS BEING JAMIE'S BOOK #i tried to find you something fluffy but instead I found this and I am having STRONG FEELINGS ABOUT IT #anyways the fluffy part is that Roy spends a good chunk of time trying to find A Book for Jamie #partly to undo a little of what Ted did (and he does not even know the whole of THAT yet)#and partly because he has assigned himself Coach Homework to work out what he would've done in Ted's situation #and partly because jamie struggling to finish this stupid book is excruciating to watch. because jamie is not enjoying the book like at all #so here roy has literally just. traded him books. so Jamie can curl up on the couch with Wodehouse #and roy can suffer through the realistic disintegration of a relationship into emotional (and physical) domestic abuse and alcoholism #and like. ted couldn't have known. but wow wow wow this is not a light read #anyways #abuse mention cw #for the tags at least #roy kent #jamie tartt #fic: oh god you're gonna get it (you have not been given love)

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enbygirlblogging · 2 months

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do you ever experience a wild moment of sudden empathy for everyone in the world. like yeah i knew a guy who bullied people a lot, and who i really used to hate, but then i found out he got beaten by his stepdad and watched his sister die a horrible and graphic death first-hand, and suddenly the hate didn't come so easy. yeah i knew a girl who abused me for the better half of my life, but looking back, she also definitely had no one in the world who loved her, including her own family. my issues with her are a lot more personal, but i just don't have it in me to really loathe her the way i once did. i've never had a good relationship with my father, but he never had a parent worth looking up to. and i'm not saying any of that trauma excuses being a horrible human being, and i'm not saying you have to forgive everyone who ever wronged you, or even really that you should.

but i guess i'm saying maybe i forgive the people who wronged me.

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tobytalksaac · 4 months

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Toby is upset.

Toby will talk about this. (Toby receive help making post by other alter.) User u/SpecialNeedsDevil

TW: abandonment, ableist language, sibling abuse, and lot hate words.

Please read link before post so understand what Toby talking about.

The word, the situation talk about in post make Toby very upset, very uncomfortable. Toby does not blame mother for putting son in residential, but DOES despise her for using hurt and mean word to call son. She call him "potato" call him "THING" CALL HIM "MALIGNANT LUMP"!!! He is person too, maybe he not respond, communicate, or do much but he is person.

Would not call person on street "potato" or "thing", why call SON those words?!

She says she watched while older son HIT younger, and yell how much hates him. SHE WATCH HIM HIT!!

She say many many times how not love him, how not family, how never will be person. That CRUEL! CRUEL!!

There is big big difference between putting disabled in residential to help, to make quality life better, and doing out of HATE HATE and not seeing disabled person as human!

Comments also very very horrible. Comments talk how kids like son SHOULDN'T BE ALIVE!

Toby scared, Toby wish disabled get more respect.. wish not hate.

#trigger warning #tw abandonment #tw abuse #tw physical violence #tw ableist language #tw ableism #disabled #profoundly disabled #ableism #actually disabled #long post #reddit #down syndrome #eugenics cw #eugenics mention #disability rights #residential

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prettyboyprincely · 2 months

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And, in a shocking turn of events, it turns out the “anti groomer” crowd is okay with child abuse, so long as it is a cis person doing it

This is the world they want. A world where they can use violence to force children to conform to them.

#child abuse #child abuse tw #tw child abuse #child abuse ment #child abuse mention #child abuse cw #cw child abuse #physical abuse #physical abuse ment #physical abuse mention #physical abuse tw #tw physical abuse #cw physical abuse #physical abuse cw

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samijami · 10 months

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Whenever one bruise fades, my mum throws her phone at me very hard and bruises it right back a-fucking-gain on the same spot

I love life

#tw abuse #tw implied abuse #tw child abuse #tw child harm #tw childhood trauma #abuse mention #parental abuse #verbal abuse #emotional abuse #tw emotional abuse #abuse cw #fuck parents #neglectful parents #insane parents #fuck my parents #abusiveness #physical abuse #tw harm

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funnel-webbed-au · 8 months

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Memories, Stained With Blood; Hearts, Carved From Sinew

Tag List: @skellebonez, @caxycreations

Riley's Notes: Hurt/comfort that also scratches the surface of the cruelty Nezha endured in the Funnel Webbed AU. All applicable CWs are in the tags.

It took very little to break the Central Altar Marshal. One just had to know what buttons to push.

Li Jing knew what buttons to push, knew where to stick his knife.

Nezha stood on the peak of the mountain, his body shaking with stress, with dread, at what he had finally gained the courage to speak about. There was no going back now, there couldn't be. He'd been struggling against himself for weeks to get himself this far. He had to tell his friend.

Sure, Sun Wukong wasn't the best kept together, but every once and a while, everything fell apart, and the Monkey King wasn't half bad at picking up the pieces and making sure everyone he cared about was okay. Nezha, thankfully, fell into that category of people he cared about, but it wasn't like either of them would admit it.

Seeing the ancient Deity in such a state made Sun Wukong wary.

"Listen, I know... I know I do not have the right to be here, but I spent a lot of time preparing myself for... a heavy topic of discussion I wish to make you aware of." Nezha swallowed hard, struggling to get his tremors under control. He could do this. He had to, he didn't have much of a choice. This was one of the first steps to truly making sure everyone knew the hideous, gory details of the way Heaven had liked to treat him... he had to give context to Sun Wukong for his sharp change in demeanor after they'd first met.

"...do you want to know why I... why I changed? Because that's what this is about."

Antares stepped aside as he saw the Deity's tremors worsen, as if he was ready to collapse at a moment's notice. Although they didn't have an obviously healthy relationship, the two had a deeper level of understanding between them than anyone could expect...

...for the darkest reasons imaginable.

Nezha took a seat in one of the padded chairs around Sun Wukong's recently refurbished cabin, moments before his knees would have buckled from the weight his heart was carrying with him. It was a wonder how he stayed standing, how he kept going and how he kept trudging forward... but a select few knew that he did it because it was all he knew. It was all he'd been taught. For all of his power, for all of incredible statuses...

The Central Altar Marshal breathed deeply before he spoke, his words uneven and catchy in his throat. "...you asked me when I stopped being fun, when I stopped being the bright, reckless and carefree young man that I'd once been... your answer is stained with my blood, Sun Wukong."

The monkey king paused, expression turning somber as he heard the words of one of his closest friends. The sun monkey turned to shut the door, then took his headdress off before he pulled a chair over. He sat across from his old friend, someone he'd drifted from when the tides changed and some fourteen hundred years had passed.

Nezha swallowed harshly, even as the venom in his veins burned his throat, reminding him that his time was running out. He had to make his peace before his mind was lost to the toxins coursing through his ichor.

"...they hurt you."

Sun Wukong's words were filled with a grim finality, a grim sense of certainty, like the deathblow that had been dealt to Nezha long ago, the blow that started the beginning of the end of the person he once was, of who he wanted to be. Nezha swallowed in response to those words, and without chiming anything in return, he broke his glamors...

...and the Monkey King's five times immortal heart stopped.

Those burn rings around the Deity's neck, upper arms, elbow, and wrists weren't even the half of the story, and it was still more than enough for the sun monkey to pause. Who could do such a thing to a Deity of such a high caliber? Who would dare to hurt his friend?

"Who."

The weight that a single word could carry could have never been more obvious. That word carried with it the crushing weight of a Demon who'd clawed his way tooth and nail to godhood, and had been thoroughly battered and shamed many steps of the way. That hatred was something Nezha had only heard of from those that hated the Monkey King.

Perhaps even those biased had a grain of truth.

It made Nezha's blood run cold. He refused to answer, and instead, the lotus on his tail closed, its pink shifting to indigo. As its scent dissipated, Sun Wukong blinked before he moved to sit next to his friend. He had to be there for him. Violence wouldn't solve anything now. His grudges, his hatred, his wrath could wait.

Nezha was more important, and he always would be.

Sun Wukong exhaled, and he made sure that the other immortal could rest, even if it was just for one day. He'd make sure it counted, make sure the troubled Deity had some support. He may never get what he needed, but at least he wouldn't be alone through his lowest points.

"I hate to admit it, Wukong, but..." The elder Deity hissed between statements as his cheeks flushed, and he spoke through gritted teeth. "I have frequent nightmares when I try to sleep alone. The worst part is that they tend to fail to wake me up."

Antares just smiled weakly. "Well, you're always welcome up here, even though it's... probably messier than you're used to... and I thought you said you didn't trust me."

"It's more complicated than that... I'll explain tomorrow." The Deity yawned, shaking his head with a soft grumble. It ill became him to be so tired before nine even hit, but it couldn't be helped with the state of his health.

Sun Wukong nodded, and as Nezha laid down in the spare bedroom, the monkey went to lie with him. He made sure to wrap his tail around Nezha's, which caused a lot of tension to evaporate from him.

As long as he had his friends, as long as he had his family, come Hell or high water, he'd get out of this. One way or another.

#cw physical abuse mention #[once bitten and twice shy - sydney - nezha]#[For What is the Sun Without its Moon and Stars - Antares - Monkey King/Sun Wukong]#[Arc Two - Toxic Winds - Post-Canon]#cw family issues mention #lmk nezha #lmk monkey king #lmk sun wukong

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red-rover-au · 1 year

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Listen. I hold your face-- listen. I have been following so many separated au's. that the details I'd used to analyze the fighting styles of your friends in particular have been completely muddle-mixed with every other draxum dad-ed turtle. I think to myself "Leo has the weapon that's most likely to kill/maim" but is that a rr Leo trait? no! I think to myself "yet donnie is the one who murders most often" but do I remember examples of that? no!! My head is Empty my good writer.

The fact that 2 out of 3 responses to the fights have been "no thoughts head empty" lmaoo

Interesting that the family truama is the thing that stands out about my au! Yeah, my history with domestic abuse isn't a secret, and the fact that I always make Slightly Flawed parents 10xs worse in every fandom I touch is one of the funnier symptoms djskdjd

I could write a full essay on the complicated nature of having abusive parents who DO love you.

The rest under the read more cuz i accidentally did oops. Content warning for child abuse, obviously

I see a lot of depictions of abusive parents that feel extremely text book based, like someone read about the cycle of abuse and copied it down step by step, when in my experience and the experience of almost all of my friends who were hit as kids- its really not like that at all

I think I project onto Leo the most in terms of responding to an abusive parent. Cuz like, when your parent abuses you but you KNOW that they love you, it creates this unstable dynamic where you're never sure how much you can get away with. But when you're a stubborn and prideful kid like I was, you just try getting away with everything cuz fuck it, you know the storm is gonna pass eventually, they won't be mad at you forever, they'll probably even (poorly) apologize later

The most personal example was in the latest chapter- chapter 18. While Leo is getting whipped the only thing on his mind is how annoying it is that Draxum didn't even start with an explanation this time. He doesn't actually care why tho; anything could've set Draxum off, really. But he also has to carefully craft a mask that isnt too stuck up/neutral, else the beating will go on longer and that would be annoying- but he also has his Pride so he doesn't want to look super shaken from the whole thing. That might've been the autism in me, idk.

I dont know how to end this i got carried away lmao

Point is, ur right and Im glad the nuance comes through (I also have three siblings who's reactions to the exact same abusive behavior I could draw from, so that helps) and yis Leo keeps his snark because of course he does, he's Leo

#thanks for giving me an excuse to talk extensively about this topic i have been physically holding myself back lmao #red rover au #asks #cw child abuse #cw abuse mention #cw domestic abuse

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dyspunktional-revan · 5 months

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Get it into your fucking heads that there's no such thing as a harmless nonconsensual action. That is literally what harm fucking is, something occuring to an entity without their consent. You cannot fucking evaluate things on "well what matters is not consent but rather will there be harm and how much" because nonconsent. Is. Harm. And harm is nonconsent.

The basest abuser logic. "Well I am hitting my kid for their own good!" no, it doesn't fucking matter that "well obviously hitting kids is bad I'm actually evaluating harm here!" No, you are not doing anything different from that parent. I can barely believe that I’m seeing folkel who advocate with that rhetoric and believe themselves anti-abuse but here we are.

#leviathan.txt #leviathan yells at folkel #leviathan argues #consent #abuse culture #abuse #physical abuse mention #parental abuse mention #swearing cw #fedi crosspost

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phoebe-delia · 2 years

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fate left scars upon his face with all the damage they had done

I'm having some writer's block at the moment, and when that happens I tend to sort of go one of three ways. 1. I don't write. 2. I write hurt/comfort. 3. I write about something kinda revenge/badass/dramatic.

And THEN the new MCR song came out, "The Foundations of Decay," and it sooo fit the fic and gave me intense Harry vibes, so it's now a songfic.

Also this is dedicated to @ihopeyoubothstaysafefromharm, the biggest MCR fan I know.

CW: brief smoking, CW: mentions/heavy discussions of and references to canonical child abuse, CW: mentions of and references to physical and emotional child abuse, CW: mentions of scars, Also Dumbledore bashing. Finally, a huge thank you to the lovely @crazybutgood for the very helpful beta! Enjoy some cathartic angst!

Harry’s robes clung to his skin, sodden and soaked with the rain. But despite the wand safely and conveniently stowed in its holster, Harry didn't cast a Warming Charm or an Impervius. He simply let himself shiver against the cold and the boots become muddied as he trudged through the forest, past rows of crumbling headstones to the large, ornate marble tomb.

He stopped several yards away, close enough to see the tomb in all its regal glory but far enough not to make out the name he knew was carved worshipfully into the stone.

Harry stared at the ornate display, so incongruous with the natural greenery of the surrounding trees. Silence hung thickly in the air, a sickly sweet kind of peace that spread over everything like molasses. The rain had slowed to a moderate drizzle, its rage beginning to quiet.

Fitting, really, since Harry's was just beginning.

“Did you know where I got the scar on my face?” he asked the tomb, letting the sound of his voice prod at the static stillness.

The marble had no reply, so Harry continued. “I wonder if you noticed it when you saw me again for the first time. I wonder if you saw my face and recognized my forehead and then looked at my cheek and did a double-take at the scar that ran across my tender skin.

“It was still pretty new, at that point. It wasn’t the first they’d given me, but the others were a bit more hidden. There’s a place on my back where he broke the skin with his belt, and when I snuck into the bathroom to clean it, I couldn’t reach. And there’s a burn mark on my leg, where she threw a pot of boiling water at me. Not to mention the fact that I still flinch when I hear the oven timer go off, and the smell of brandy makes my skin crawl. You don’t see those scars; no one does. That doesn't make them any less real.

“And I never knew what I did to deserve it. Never knew what my crime was, exactly. I tried to stay small and quiet. I tried to be as good as possible, to be of use to them, worth keeping around. Worthy of food, water. Worthy of life.”

Harry walked closer, watching raindrops slide down the smooth marble. He stared right at it, pretending he was looking straight into twinkling blue eyes.

“And I don’t know why you never seemed to notice me tugging down the sleeves of my robes for the first weeks of each school year. I don’t know why no one, other than my closest friends, seemed to care that I would eat ravenously for the first few days and that I’d start tucking non-perishable food into my pockets at the end-of-the-year banquet.

“You know, when I look back at that time, the difference between you and them becomes more and more blurred. Sure, they made me feel like shit most of the time. But at least they were honest,” he spat. “You lied to me. You acted like you cared about me, and now I realize that all you ever cared about was keeping me alive. Not happy, not fulfilled, not loved—alive.

“And now you’re gone, and I’m so full of grief. I’m grieving for Sirius—” Harry’s voice cracked, but he continued, “who you abandoned to rot in Azkaban. And for Remus. And my parents. And for myself, because you let me die, little by little, every day for 17 years until I was just broken enough to fix the world.

“I don’t miss you, but I mourn the fact that I’m having this one-sided conversation with a slab of fucking rock instead of with the coward buried underneath. I wish you were here, not because I want you in my life, but because I want the satisfaction of cutting you out of it forever.

“This,” he said, gesturing to the tomb, “is an altar to a false god. You weren’t the infallible, wise elder everyone wanted you to be. You were just as fragile and weak and dumb as the rest of us; you were just better at faking it.”

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. He slipped a cigarette between his lips and held the lighter to the other end, revealing the flame with a soft click. He let it ignite the end of the cigarette and tucked the lighter back into his pocket before he sat down on the long marble slab, leaning back on a hand as he studied the engraved words in front of him. He used his free hand to take a drag of the cigarette, blowing smoke right over the headstone.

“You told me to pity the living, and not the dead, and that all sounds very poetic and profound, but I’ve done both,” Harry said, before pausing to take another drag. “And I know this…life, post-war, is still going to get harder before it gets easier. But I’ll prove you wrong. Because I don’t need you to tell me fortune cookie truths about life. I value my friends and my family. And Draco, who knows the scars on my body and mind nearly as well as I do, and who makes me happy and fulfilled and loved.” He glared at the headstone with defiance. “I will make my life into something you can’t pity me for.”

With that, Harry leaned over and tapped the ashes of his cigarette against the headstone, letting them spill a bit before he crushed it against the slab and let it drop there, the last bits of smoke still curling into the humid air.

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