#dan is just really inappropriate sometimes

[pluckyredhead]

Ngl do you think the relationship between Arthur and Garth has anything to do with how often at the time adopted children were and are considered not as “real” as biological children? Especially because the whole nuclear family BS. Not saying that’s all of it but I think it plays a role

Oh, 100%. I mean, look at this:

Arthur is willing to kill Garth to save Aquababy, because Aquababy is his son...with the implicit corollary that Garth isn't. The kid he has raised since, like, age 8, who has been by his side and living in his house all these years, is just...a sidekick.

(I think it's worth noting that Batman, who is not a good father, was once in a similar situation - Ra's al Ghul wanted him to pick whether Tim or Damian should die - and Bruce immediately chose himself. Arthur didn't even consider sacrificing himself for the boys. When you're a worse father than Batman, you know you've fucked up.)

I will say that in the early decades, comics only rarely explicitly referred to heroes and sidekicks as fathers and sons - you don't see it very often with Dick or Roy either. That's why all the sidekicks were wards and none of them were legally adopted. (Dick wasn't adopted until he was over 18; Roy never has been.) This was mostly to keep the heroes seeming young and fun instead of stodgy old dads.

But since the 70s on, Dick and Roy have been very frequently, explicitly stated to be Bruce and Ollie's sons, and the same is true for subsequent sidekicks: Jason was going to be adopted right away, Tim was going to be adopted whether he wanted it or not, Mia is clearly Ollie's daughter.

By contrast, I can only think of two times the Arthur/Garth dynamic has been described as paternal. The first is from Garth's debut:

HE IS SO TINY. Also I can't stop laughing at how Arthur's like "Fuck that noise." TERRIBLE.

I can't remember exactly when the other instance was, but I want to say it was Arthur calling Garth his son in like...the early 2000s? Maybe the Jurgens run? It would've had to have been before the 2003 run, because Garth was not putting up with Arthur's bullshit from 2003 on, and then the New 52 happened.

But yeah, they don't use those words for each other...basically ever. (Lorena and Jackson are also not Arthur's children. To be fair, Jackson has two very alive parents so Arthur being like "YOU ARE MY SON" would be weird and inappropriate.)

I think another factor, though, is that Arthur isn't just Garth's former mentor and guardian - he's his king. A lot of the time, Arthur has very cold, formal relationships with almost everyone in his life who isn't Mera (and sometimes even her) or a literal baby. There's a certain loyalty Garth owes Arthur - or at least both characters seem to feel Garth owes Arthur, whether or not you or I might agree with that - that has nothing at all to do with family.

We also don't really know the Atlantean norms around this sort of thing. Like, we can extrapolate things about Ollie and Roy's relationship that aren't written on the page, but do Atlanteans even have differentiations between ward, foster, and adoptee? Do they differentiate between adoptee and biological child?

And combining both of those ideas, Garth being considered Arthur's son might have political ramifications. Does that put him in the line of succession? The comics have been wildly inconsistent on this (Titans called him a prince this month and I yelled "EXPLAIN YOURSELF, TOM TAYLOR" at the page), but one could headcanon that Arthur has very deliberately avoided formally recognizing Garth as his son for political reasons. (Unless he has and that's why Garth is apparently a prince now, like he was in the Jurgens run but no other time in history. EXPLAIN BOTH OF YOURSELVES, TOM TAYLOR AND DAN JURGENS.)

Anyway yeah, I mostly think you're right that it's just anti-adoption prejudice, but there are some other factors that make this situation unique among the many, many mentor/sidekick relationships in comics.

#aqualad #garth #aquaman #arthur curry #meta

[lilalilan]

Finally got done watching the new Quinton Reviews video and have some thoughts. If you're not familiar with the video in question just know that I will be talking about child abuse so be prepared.

Something he did a really good job navigating is talking about behavior that was clearly abusive, but that doesn't neatly fall into the main categories of abuse we use, those being Physical, Emotional, and Sexual.

People really don't know how to handle things that clearly weren't okay but that don't fall neatly into those categories. I've even struggled with trying to understand my own experiences, which I'm going to use as an example. One of the things I experienced growing up was one of my parents asking me for massages and not being allowed to say no. Physical contact like that leads people towards wanting to categorize it as sexual abuse, but it wasn't sexual. And so people, with hesitation, refer to it as physical abuse. But our general cultural conception of physical abuse is physical violence, so I've never felt comfortable calling it physical abuse because I don't want it to come off as though I'm claiming I experienced something that I didn't. So I've generally had to go with explaining the specifics, and I hate that because I don't want to have to get into the specifics with everyone who I needs to understand what I've been through.

And I think that same line of thinking is why people to try and accuse Dan Schneider of child sex abuse even though (from my understanding) there is no evidence for that. They understand his behavior to be bad, and want to call it out, but our current understanding of abuse and abusive behavior doesn't really have a way of categorizing "inappropriate physical contact with a child that is not sexual". If it was child sex abuse that is a clear cut bad thing that culturally we already understand as a bad thing and have ways of talking about. So people lean towards trying to categorize it as child sex abuse even though the things we know about don't really fall into that category, because otherwise we don't really have a way to talk about it and understand it.

So I guess part of what I want to say here is thank you to Quinton Reviews for giving us the phrase "inappropriate boundaries" to refer to these types of things. Because I think we have words to describe certain types of inappropriate boundaries (sexual abuse for if it's sexual, parentification if it's about treating the kid like a fellow parent, etc.) but I've never really seen a term describing the overarching idea of just "adult behaving inappropriately with a child".

For me personally it gives me a better way of understanding and describing my own experiences. It's taken me from "there were a lot of different upsetting yet hard to describe things that happened that I don't know how to categorize or really explain" to "along with the neglect and the emotional abuse my parents did not maintain appropriate physical and emotional boundaries which messed me up in the long run". Clearly and succinctly describes what happened without getting into detail or forcing me to provide personal information.

And I think culturally having a way to talk about this type of abuse is useful. I'm hoping that enough people see the video that I can start talking about my experiences and be understood by others.

Also just like. Not being sexual abuse doesn't mean that it's not bad or messed up or worthy of attention and discussion and support. I feel like sometimes people think you're trying to downplay what happened but like. I say that being forced to provide massages was not sexual because I know for a fact it wasn't sexual. That doesn't mean that my being forced to provide an adult with physical contact was okay, it doesn't mean it didn't mess me up, it just means it messed me up differently than how it probably would have if it was sexual.

#just kinda dumping out the thoughts swirling in my brain #hope it's at least somewhat coherent #quinton reviews #not gonna tag the child abuse I warned about it above and also I just #have been getting tired of needing to put trigger warnings on my life and experiences #like if you need me to tag something specific I will just not going to preemptively slap on labels

[philyaoi]

hey if youre a twitter person cuz i know some of yall stalk my blog to repost and cringe at whatever i say lol

seeing a video with a joke that you don't like, and then either purposely OR inadvertently causing your followers to spam hatred or report or get the creator to delete the video, is in fact harassment

it's not justice, it's not accountability, it's just harassment.

it's a crack video which, if you don't know or remember what those were, are joke and satire videos using clips from dnp and cutting them together to seem even sillier or raunchier or adding sarcastic text and music

tbh, i never really liked crack videos! just not my personal taste. but they are allowed to exist on the internet.

sometimes the things you don't like are just things you don't like. and don't have any moral leaning to them just because you don't like it.

dan and phil are not hurt or offended by raunchier jokes nor jokes about their sex positions. in fact they make those jokes all the time!

if you're thinking about their assumptions videos, those were about people expressing their actual opinions on their irl sex positions. jokes are a completely separate thing. if you're thinking of me going on my tirades about sex positions in fiction, that's me talking about fanfiction. fanfiction is ALSO a separate thing.

if YOU are personally offended or hurt by these types of jokes or still think they're inappropriate even if dnp don't mind them, that's fine! you can just dismiss the video, block the creator if you want to, move on with your life! but it is still allowed to exist on the internet. i didn't even get to see the video in question so like i dont know if they used any genuinely harmful footage, but considering they were probably all from dnp, it literally couldn't have been worse than anything dnp themselves have said.

and if you really don't like that dnp make this kinda horny humor, then why are you watching them! go find another creator to watch im not even kidding it'll make your life so much better.

#dan and phil

[lesbiandanhowell]

Sam reacts to: Dan and Phil and PJ and Charlie play LETHAL COMPANY

Would like to preface this by saying this video made me laugh so so much and I loved seeing them play with PJ and Charlie and definitely need more of that!

- Them bullying Phil I want to cryyyy

- PHIL MAKING THE FIRST INAPPROPRIATE COMMENT. We truly are in a new era where Dan isn't the one making the jokes but Phil is, what a time to be alive.

- The synchronized screaming, you can only get from Dan and Phil truly lmao.

- I want to see PJ and Charlie's faces :(( I wish they'd somehow put more of their cams in and the voices more clear because I really struggled understanding them sometimes.

- Why are you getting cockblocked... what were you trying to do in that game

- Charlie in peak mom mode telling them to come back and then just full on pranking them by leaving them behind, she's hilarious bye.

- I want to see Charlie and PJ (again apparently)

- You can tell who actually plays those kind of games... and it is not Phil.

- Dan explain the controls to Phil is actually so wholesome... like yes Dan will make fun of Phil but he will also help him not totally suck and I think that's cute.

- I love this friendship group so much somehow. Their energy is infectious as fuck and I really need them to make more videos with Charlie because I may be in love with her a little bit thanks. (Yes I will subscribe to her Twitch and watch her gaming streams.)

- OMG NOT THE BOTTOM DAN AND CATBOY DISCOURSE I AM SOBBING I SCREAMED

And I will end it on that note because I still haven't recovered from that because what the fuck was the reason to mention this AGAIN.

#dan and phil #amazingphil #daniel howell #danandphilgames #gaymingmas #phan #sam reacts #Dan and Phil and PJ and Charlie play LETHAL COMPANY

[goldenpinof]

i mostly thought wad was like. fine. but the "old people dying out" bit really rubbed me the wrong way a lot of his politics seem kinda out of touch or at least not well thought out and except for the palestine section, which was reasonably well done, i got kinda annoyed whenever he expressed a realish opinion

yeah. i'm like, do you want to just wait until they die? you know how many people they will kill before that? and after 30 years our not-so-great generation is gonna be old fuckers trying to rule the world.

anyway, his monologue in this exact part is very long, and if you don't listen to every word carefully you would think he is sending mixed signals. i still don't like his joke about put*n's penis. like, bro, he is literally annexing Ukrainian territories as we speak. they were losing Avdiivka when the show was recorded and lost it a few days after. babes, sexual jokes are inappropriate coming from you. it's possible to talk about it differently. his privilege jumps out a lot.

but the ending is great! i mean. so great that i need to transcript it and gif the fuck out of this monologue (with a few cuts). it's sooo much text and such a big chunk of the show that it's actually risky. but man, i need to have it on my blog. his yapping about how each of us is important and we need to use our voices even if sometimes it feels useless, how one empathetic tweet can help someone. bro preached, and i'm glad he did. i know there are levels of suffering, but shutting up about genocide, wars and murder of lgbtq+ kids and people in general isn't an option. and when someone with a big following like Dan says it SERIOUSLY, it's great as an important reminder. don't give up. and be brave ✨️ (if not for yourself then for others).

#sometimes being brave for others is easier #i disagree with some things dan said on a personal level (not global problems related) #but overall Yeah boy. i'm glad we have it on tape #answered #wad #phandom

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Closeted Character Masterlist

A Kiss in the Dream House (ao3) - Allthephils

Summary: Dan's not worried about the dreams he's been having. He's got them all figured out. It's simple really and it's definitely not anything that he's kept buried for years, nothing that he's afraid to face.

before it gets better (ao3) - lestered (clonetrobed)

Summary: Phil takes a bullet for Dan. Metaphorically.

bigger things (ao3) - graydar

Summary: When Dan moves in with his grandma, he's expected to go to church every Sunday. He doesn't believe in God, but then he meets Phil and finds something better than religion.

colors in the gray (ao3) - dizzy

Summary: In a different world living a different life, Dan works at Starbucks and is about to publish his first novel when Phil (literally) steals his way into Dan's life.

coming home someday (ao3) - lestered (clonetrobed)

Summary: He tries not to let his inner panic betray him, since he knows he’s freaking out for all the wrong reasons. Lying to Dan’s coworkers? Doesn’t bother him that much. Pretending to be Dan’s loving, devoted, long-term boyfriend for an entire night? That’s a different story.

Drips Through (ao3) - artbabe

Summary: Dan goes outside to smoke at a party. Phil joins him.

games you don't want to play (ao3) - lestered (clonetrobed)

Summary: You try not to pay attention to some of the couples starting to cosy up with each other. You want someone to lay with you in your sleeping bag and look at the stars.

You don’t get that. You don’t get to be normal. You’ve never felt the giddiness of young love, or even of a really intense crush. Those things aren’t for you.

You want something you can’t have. You want a boyfriend.

just a boy (ao3) - calvinahobbes

Summary: My self-indulgent Notting Hill AU. Phil works a quiet job at the BBC but his life changes when he meets famous Hollywood actor Dan Howell.

Some Other Light (ao3) - jestbee

Summary: Dan works the night shift because it's easier to exist in the dark

sometime, stranger (ao3) - dieofthatroar

Summary: Karen's thoughts on a little boy she thought she knew

start a reaction that can't be contained (ao3) - calvinahobbes

Summary: He wonders what it would be like to be able to be so casually affectionate. To call Phil 'honey' in public and not care what anyone thinks about it.

(Dan and Phil and AsapSCIENCE, YouTube Creator Summit, Spain 2017.)

The Roles We Play (ao3) - adorkablephil (kimberly_a)

Summary: Dan Howell and Phil Lester work together as voice actors for BBC radio dramas in the late 1930s, but slowly begin to develop “inappropriate” feelings for each other.

they don't know (about us) (ao3) - calvinahobbes

Summary: Dan and Phil in Jamaica, July 2010.

Time's Tide (ao3) - intoapuddle

Summary: All men have secrets, and Phil won't let his own be known. But even in 1984's Manchester there is another person that understands.

too far to walk alone (ao3) - chickenfree

Summary: “The hazelnut stracciatella,” he says, as always. They might or might not have a bet in the shop about whether he’ll ever vary.

#phanfictioncatalogue #phanfiction #phanfic #phan #masterlists #closeted #closeted masterlist #lgbt #homophobia tw

[feelingofcontent]

DNP Rewatch Rankings: Sleepless Nights and Regret Buyings

Phil doesn’t have any solo video series that are more than 3-4 videos, so I thought I’d do some quick rankings of a couple different ones.

First the “Sleepless Night” videos.

4. A HUNGRY Sleepless Night With Phil

I mean, it’s a cute video but it is SO staged/fake, especially in hindsight. So much more than any of the others. I’m guessing the lack of believability by this point is why he ended this series.

3. A Sleepless Night With Phil

The original! It’s fun, but I like the next couple a little better and find them more memorable. He is so inconsistent with how quiet or not he is being in this one, lol.

2. Another Sleepless Night with Phil

I do love this one. It has always seemed to most “realistic” of them, because Dan was away on a family holiday. And the bit where he’s watching the first Sims gaming video is just 🥺

1. A VERY Sleepless Night With Phil

This is my favorite! It’s just casual Phil updates and chats. Plus I love the BONCAs outfit options try-on, and the look at his old Facebook profile pictures.

And then his “Regret Buying” series. (He has many more ‘buy-things-and-commentate’ type videos, but these are the ones he specifically labeled this way.)

4. 6 Things I Regret Buying - Inappropriate Pickle??

Okay, I actually really like all of these videos, so they were incredibly hard to order. This one loses out because it feels a bit more planned than the others (like he bought items specifically for it). But Phil is hilarious, and it has the vase-drinking gag and hair lights, which are great.

3. 6 Things I Regret Buying!

I love this one, but I love the other two slightly more. This is the original though! And it has brief tour clips which is fun. And the stress mushroom, which haunts me.

2. 5 Things I Regret Buying - INFLATABLE HALLOWEEN COSTUME!

This one squeaks over the last one in my rankings just for the Halloween costume bit and Dan’s reaction. Actually, the physical comedy in all of this one is really great, which I sometimes forget Phil is also so good at.

1. 5 Things I Regret Buying - SILVER HAIR DYE

This one is my favorite. Phil is just on in it with the effortless-seeming humor. King of comedy. Also the editing in this one is fantastic.

#dan and phil #dnp #dnpRewatch #dnpRewatch rankings

[dirtandspitoftheworld]

I have to be honest. I do worry that he's not innocent like we thought. Abuse doesn't have to be physical. Please don't call me a fake fan. Just hear me out. Could his lawsuit just be him panicking? And there are SEVERAL former girlfriends and colleagues (guys & girls) who have said he's just a terrible person. Sure, I don't believe Ashley Smithline or Dan Cleary. But what of other stage crew who haven't come forward? I mean, none of us were there. What about former fans who claim he was inappropriate, even groped them on the tour bus? That wouldn't be their fault, even if they are groupies. If somebody gropes you without consent, it's SA. If somebody jerks off in front of you without consent, it's SA. Or indecent exposure.

I really don't care about "fake fan" shit honestly. if you like music, you're a fan. there's nothing more to it. You really gotta worry less about what other people think of you.

I don't doubt that he's done bad things in the past. The environment he was in made it acceptable. He was encouraged at every turn to be more shocking, more abrasive, alienate himself more. At the end of the day yes his actions are his own responsibility, but the influence of the culture surrounding him absolutely cannot be ignored either.

What I care about is whether a person has changed. And he has.

Also: there is 100% some personal accountability to consider. The entire "groupie" culture is "hanging around to fuck band members." That's a given. That's what a groupie is, by definition. If you present yourself as a groupie, you can expect to be treated as one, and you need to be prepared to take the initiative and set boundaries if that's not what you're actually up for.

cancel me if you want, but the whole modern concept of asking for explicit permission before absolutely every action is extremely far removed from how actual adults interact. I don't care about someone assuming something is ok and being wrong as long as they back off when they're told to. That's just how shit goes sometimes. This idea that people should never HAVE to say no and that everyone should just either read minds or write scripts and contracts for every interaction is fucking backwards.

#im fucking tired

[officialhawks]

Don't you worry, I don't know a thing about kitchen utensils as well. I'm sure, we will have a lot of fun figuring everything out together. If we don't succeed, we could always order some take out, I guess?

Oh, I see! So it's even more impressive than I thought! Which leads me to another, maybe a little inappropriate question. I know that many of your fans like to touch your wings, right? Does it actually feel uncomfortable when they touch your feathers?

When I was driving my car this morning, I thought about how slow 40 mph are compared to your speed! It's a little embarrassing how often I catch myself thinking about you during my day, dear Hawks.

Well, recommending something isn't really that easy. It all comes down to preferences, I guess. One of my all-time favorites has to be Silent Hill. Lately, I've been rewatching the movies that belong to The Conjuring universe and, I guess, the movie The Nun is my favorite of all of them. I also enjoyed The Ritual a lot, The Forest and The Pact. I barely find the time and motivation to read a book as of late, so I can't really recommend any books.

I find crocheting rather relaxing, to be honest. I usually make things that I give away to others as a gift. My biggest project so far was a huge blanket I made last year. It took me about 9 months to finish that one. Sometimes, my fingers and joints hurt from the same repeating motion, but then I usually just take a break for a day or two before I continue. I feel a little ashamed to admit that one of the last things I made was a little red feather that I added to my bag...

- 🐇

If we don’t succeed at making some yummy it’s my treat I’ll buy us some take out.

I’m blushing a little at admitting this. When Dan touch my wings it’s not bad it feels kind of nice, like running a hand through your hair. If my feathers are growing back from using them then they can be a sensitive and a bit itchy. Most fans are kind enough to ask before touching my wings. Which I appreciate greatly.

40! That’s still pretty fast! It’s faster then I could ever run. Hahaha! I’m sure a faster car could possibly put speed me. Hmm maybe. I’ve never raced one before so perhaps I’ll have to see.

Ah, I haven’t watched the Silent Hill movie, I’ll have to find it and watch it. I watched The Forest about two or so weeks ago. If I’m remember correctly. It was good I’ll give it another watch too. Reading isn’t for everyone, it can be hard. There are so many options out there and its a gamble that the book you pick up with resonate with you and capture your interest.

Aw bunny don’t be ashamed that’s adorable! I feel so honored that you’d create one of my feathers, if I could id send you one, that way it can keep your beautiful crafted feather company.

Im so glad I’ve been able to talk to you bunny and get to k ow you more. I really feel like I’ve made a new friend for life! If you’ll let me be one that is.

Hawks 🪶🧶

#hawks has mail🪶 #bunny asks #🐇 anon #bnha #my hero academia #mha #boku no hero academia #mha hawks #bnha hawks #keigo takami #hawks #mha hawks rp #mha hawks x you

[castle-dominion]

c1x1 flowers for your grave

Apparently the petals were silk. Frame rate could use some help. Sexy murder tho.

I didn't realize Gina was introduced so early!

I feel bad for the normal detective from the initial pilot that they replaced in the series/extended pilot with ryan, probs be he looks cuter. Unless my man lived in NY whereas SD (KR) lived in LA.

I've watched the commentary version of this & wowie there is a lot that makes sense the second time around

Wow what a sexy pilot episode. HOLY CRAP WHERE IS RYAN'S CLOTHING I CAN SEE HIS ENTIRE TORSO /hyp.

LP: Even bought her flowers. Who says romance is dead? KB: I do. Every Saturday night.

Espt in the first episode talking abt just doing his work, getting paid, & going home. The first episode really is trying to set characters right off the bat even tho I feel like they didn't get their groove until e4 (which is why I'm watching these backwards).

Don't you guys read? Doesn't mean they specifically read Castle books.

Castle puppydog face uwu, also wow stubble man. Must be a huge rebound for NF after his last show. Martha & Alexis getting their characters set XD. lmao Gray-dar! She sounds so young! I love alexis! (But at least where I live it is legal for a guardian or a guardian's partner to give their kid alcohol in the safety of their own home.)

New york, LA, NY, LA

RC: When I was your age... (he stops himself) I can’t tell that story. It's wildly inappropriate. Which, oddly, is my point. Don’t you want to have wildly inappropriate stories that you can’t tell your children?

CASTLE Just once, I’d like someone to come up to me and say something new. BECKETT (O.S.) Mr. Castle? [Castle turns around and pulls out a pen.] CASTLE Where would you like it? [Beckett approaches and holds up her badge.] BECKETT Detective Kate Beckett. NYPD. We need to ask you a few questions about a murder that took place earlier tonight. [Alexis takes the pen while she hangs around his shoulder.] ALEXIS That’s new. (https://scriptline.livejournal.com/16926.html)

Again, the intro is so much bigger than it is in the future.

Says here that you stole a police horse? And you were nude at the time?

Castle is kinda gross sometimes. I am glad I saw him in later seasons bc now seeing the start I know I would Hate Him. I kind of do. Beckett is so strong & castle is such a boy.

Ooh music. I noticed good music earlier too.

RC: C’est apres minuit dans un school night. Don’t you turn into a pumpkin or something? Wow language alexis!

the physicality is so cute & sweet.

[Beckett comes in carrying a box full of Richard Castle books.] RYAN o.o ... What are those? BECKETT Castle's greatest hits. You're going to familiarize yourselves with all of his murder scenes so we don't miss any. ESPOSITO Got any on tape? (laughs) A point for the espt adhd hc, not as strong as my adhd ryan hc. But hey castle does readings, I'm sure he could record one of those... he's a famous author he surely has audiobooks, tho I always like it when the author narrates their own book.

KR: "From the library of Katherine Beckett." KB: Do you have a problem with reading Ryan? didn't u already use this like JE: Yo, check it, girl. You're totally a fan! KB: Right. Of the genre. Girl u'r a homicide detective u rly want to read more crime after work? KR: Right. The-the genre. That's why you're blushing. KB: What are you, twelve? & then actually she gets ryan into these books which I think was a great touch even tho it is never explicitly spoken about. Ryan looks somewhat normal today, not like a weird college student. It def seems like ryan is not just the new guy on the show but espt also looks closer to beckett & ryan seems like the new guy here, even tho as confirmed somewhere in s2 they had already been partners for three years or smth.

Rly weird to see the two precinct sets. Are they canonically considered the same location & we are supposed to suspend our disbelief?

Nope : )

Castle sherlock holmsing here & then gets too close to home. & beckett's face just falling ever so slowly, I love it. That was good.

Maybe the guy was just a fanartist.

Man the livejournal transcript has some info but sadly the captions have more & I just can't hear it that well. Castle is chatting with espt at his desk & I can't tell who is saying what, esp when that fellow walks across the screen, covering their lips. I think it went smth like this: (conversation happening before the scene switches) (RC probably asks smth like: so have you ever shot anybody?) (JE: ...) Shot anybody? RC: Did you ever shoot anyone? JE: Yeah KB: *interrupts with stuff abt the case* Like bro idk how that convo actually went but typically u don't ask someone if they ever shot anyone. idk if it was cop talk or if castle just learned this man is ex-military or what. I also just enjoy learning abt the characters & I wouldn't mind having seen more convo.

Big cheese...? Also ew there are like.. protocols. JE: Man’s got the Mayor on speed dial. The rich really are different. KB: You want him? He’s yours. (that's gay) JE: A control freak like you with something you can’t control? No, no. That’s going to be more fun than Shark Week. These two with their banter. Love it.

Bro you DO come to a complete stop & do proper taxes. you might do a rolling stop at a stop sign or pay for parsley instead of cilantro.

Lanie is a fan <3 *extending hand* Lanie Parish. Medical Examiner. I love your books. Y’know, you have a real gift with the details of death.

Then u don't know me very well.

Why is she wearing a vest but not rysposito?

NY, LA, NY, LA, I def recommend watching the commentary version. Man got a shrine.

Ew ableism. You are really frightening the fellow there. My brother had to (verbally) kick a nurse's ass when she kept touching a patient without consent. He's a "lowly porter" tho so yk how things go. Nurse was too obsessed with doing what SHE thought was right (soothingly touching the patient) instead of respecting the patient's boundaries & explaining what was going on.

KB: This isn’t one of your books, Castle. Out here, we find a guy standing over a body with a gun, he’s usually the guy who did it. Not foreshadowing...

Love the writer poker. Presents it like he's writing a story.

She just runs after him all angry. He becomes sweet. He WAS sweet. Even though he used the opportunity. The music <3

I like how apples is a reoccuring word.

Martha <3 "I've had LOTS of father figures" lmao

Still, espt is the one talking with beckett.

I love how rick & alexis are chatting & then Martha is just there. MR: That makes about as much sense as Mouse Trap. I did that play eight times a week for a year. I still have no idea what it's about.

I love how the show still managed to have beckett & castle finishing each other's sentences even tho they r not even in the same room.

AC: by a lot MR: Mine too

I love seeing the scenes that they used in the intro for s1. I don't think s4 has an intro tho & I kind of miss it.

RC: This is not what it looks like. This-- I-- Okay, this is exactly what it looks like. But I can explain.

I suddenly remember how this ends. Oof poor guy, children was such a habit & now he has to say child.

Want a hot dog? I want a hot dog. (Beckett grabs his nose) Ow apples apples apples! He couldn't have lost weight to look sick thin becks. Maybe he WAS workout thin & then he's all depressed bc his daughter was just murdered & now he LOOKS sick thin, but that's a stretch.

Good on her for this lie/train of thought. Does he KNOW when all three were murdered? I mean they were probs in the paper, that's how he "found out" her case kid "killed" her.

Why did he specifically fly out on those days? I think being out of town /specifically/ those days is sus.

RC: Oh Markway! Tell him I say hello.

I love the way that castle talks versus beckett. Lol writing on castle's back

Boy just puts it in the shredder like that?

Yay the non-ryan cop & the scaffolding, now it looks like a city. Beckett talking to him like a toddler. She just cuffed him XD. You know, I'm glad I have a cuff key. You're actually more likely to be accidentally cuffed in some sort of sex cult than accidentally cuffed by a cop. I also have an elevator key which is useful. Too bad I actually lost my keyring. Rick is so cool & sexy & valid. Why would he take off his shoe tho? The audio commentary: "I have never seen toes that small on a man over six foot." The poor filming, they had to clean up the paper every time. & make sure they were no rocks or needles for poor NF (RC).

tbh I understand this guy. Sibling is the pretty one, the loved one, the smart one. That WAS cool castle! Even the weird little sound effect.

I forgot that castle know guns, at least a bit. Probs research for his prev books. I'm remembering that episode, probably 5-8 somewhere, when beckett taught him to shoot a gun but he already knew & then won a bet. Ye. He knew the safety was on too.

Hoowee she is so self confident & hot.

nice skull lamp

tough BUT savvy?

Little eyebrow cock at the end. The start of everything!

#castle 1x1 #castle 1x1 quote #castle 1x1 spoilers #castle s1 spoilers

[philyaoi]

I refuse to believe anything but bottom!dan purely because of the meme.

booo boringggg we hate your pussyyyy

nah jk and i know youre joking lmao but i AM gonna use this as an opportunity to talk about why i hate the like 2015 era culture of dan bottoms uwu" ASIDE FROM LIKE THE OBVIOUS INAPPROPRIATENESS OF SHOVING THAT IN THE FACES OF TWO REAL DUDES.

like idk so much of the like "bottom dan top phil" was purely based on like how 'masculine" the two of them are or are perceived to be? or age or all these other things that i think are really harmful stereotypes toward gay couples in general like the "who's the man who's the woman" type thing. like oh dan is a bottom because he's more feminine, because he's younger, because he just "seems like it" and its like, what about him "seems" like a bottom lmao (again this is exactly what he says in his assumptions video.) and maybe some of it is based on the fact that he plays into the like daddy jokes but even before that ppl would still bottomify him lmao idk.

but same with top!phil, like it reminds me a lot of before they came out, at least around the time i was seeing this kinda stuff, ppl would be like "dan is bi or gay, but phil is definitely straight" which honestly... i think is bc a lot of the community at the time were like, young afab ppl who only knew about queerness (particularly male queerness) thru slashfic and yaoi, so they couldnt read that phil is like. thats butch queen yknow he's masc in like a "i love men so much that i became my ideal man" way. (i mean literally he became an emo to find a hot emo boy) but maybe that's just me and that's something that i am able to read abt him now that he's out idk! but yeah i think that idea of his masculinity then translated into, therefore he is the top in fics.

AND LIKE. we're all mature adults now right? for the most part? obv we're no longer @ ing them on twitter about fic or whatever but i do think this specific aspect of Phan Shipping is still kind of a thing, at least from what i've seen. AND DONT GET ME WRONG, DAN IS BABYGIRL. but i'm just saying. sometimes babygirl is a top.

#reblogs off cuz idk i dont want this to be a Whole Thing esp as this community is growing again.... #AND THE THING ABT BEING AN AFAB YAOI LIKER IS LITERALLY A SELF CALLOUT LMAO IT WAS 2013 #dont even get me started on sub=/=top dom=/=bottom #i think fandom culture HAS SOMEWHAT grown out of this sorta thing #but idk i still see it around sometimes #and obv if ur writing fic and u just feel like having dan be the bottom that is completely fine #just like think about WHY you're making him the bottom ykwim? #ASsk #myrambles

[boysthatgovroomvroom]

He never left {Daniel Ricciardo}

Daniel Ricciardo x fem!Reader

Summary: All throughout the weekend you had a feeling that Dan will have a great weekend it Monza. When he actually wins you both are overwhelmed with emotion

Warnings: angst in the beginning, sad Daniel, mentions of anxiety (and symptoms), smut, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it besties)

Wordcount: 5.3k

Not edited we die like warriors

You knew it had been an incredibly rough reason for Daniel. After making the switch to McLaren, what you thought would bring a more positive change to his career and for him. McLaren had shown an amazing development last season and you were sure that with Daniel they could go even farther. But like many times, life had a different plan. Up until the summer break Daniel‘s season was plagued by disappointment, one after another. A bad qualifying here, a worse race there, it never seemed to stop. And as much as he tried to hide it behind his smile, you knew it was bothering him.

He broke down during the summer break. He couldn’t keep on putting up an appearance, not with you, never with you. You had been together for a long time. You could read him like a book, much like he could with you. It had been a quiet evening, spending it on the couch on the balcony of your LA residence, watching the sun go down, drinking wine and just enjoying each other’s company. Something that came short with your hectic schedules. He had been quieter that usual. He still was affectionate, but you were missing his jokes, his immature side. As much as it was inappropriate sometimes, it was still a part of him. A part that you loved dearly, like you did all of him. You had to try to get him out of this slump, or get him to talk to you at least. You had to do something.

„Daniel?“

You reached over, taking his hand, your thumb caressing the rose tattoo you knew all too well. He hummed as his head turned towards you. He encouraged you to go on.

„What’s going on in your head. You’ve been quiet. And don’t say its nothing. I know something‘s been bothering you. Talk to me, let me help carry this. We’re supposed to be a team, remember?“

It was like he was falling into himself. Letting out a sigh, he slouched his shoulders and looked down at the wooden patio. He was finally starting to let go of his mask that he had put on, to make sure everyone thought he was okay, even when he wasn’t. He started laughing, but it wasn’t his usual laugh. It sounded tired, like all the weight on his shoulders was becoming too much for him to carry. When he turned his head back to you, your heart broke as you saw the unshed tears glistening in his eyes. It made you tear up as well, leaning forward to wrap your arms around him and rest your forehead against his in a comforting manner. A small smile found its way across his face.

„I really can’t hide anything from you, can i?“

What was supposed to be a joke, wasn’t making you laugh. In fact, it was even making you feel worse. Had you only spoken up about this sooner. His hand came up to rest on your arm, stroking up and down. He took a deep breath before continuing to speak.

„Do think it will get better? Or am i just not capable of driving anymore?“

The words got stuck in your throat. Never had you seen him this down. Doubting himself wasn’t something Daniel did. But it had come to this point. And you had to act before it was too late, and he lost all hope.

„Of course it will get better. Baby, you’re new to the team, new to the car. We both knew it was gonna take time for you to get used to it.“

„But- „ you interrupted his objection.

„Daniel. It also took time for you to get used to your Renault. And look what you did. You brought home two podiums last year. Their first since 2009! Hell if that doesn’t count for something then I don’t know what does. You are amazing at what you do. Don’t let this phase of getting used to the car bring you down. Your time will come. Don’t worry your pretty head about it.“

You pressed a kiss on his temple as sign of encouragement. You could feel and see that opening up to you had helped him. His shoulders looked lighter and the smile on his face had returned.

„What would I do without you, doll?“

His words made you giggle. So typical of him to try and make you laugh right after a serious conversation.

„Well, lucky for you, my love, you will never have to find out.“

The next races were a triple header. Spa, Zandvoort and Monza. And you knew Daniel would give his all to show everyone that he was still capable of good results. That he never left. That he was still hungry.

————————————

And as if you had known, he was doing better. With a good Qualifying he managed to put himself on P4 in the „non-race“ that had happened in Spa. During the red flag he had entertained you and Michael and it was clear that he was in a much better mood than before. Even Zandvoort wasn’t half bad. Considering the car wasn’t made for the circuit, P11 was a good result, right behind his teammate Lando. It was improving slowly and you knew it wouldn’t be long until Daniel could show his full potential. And it was showing on and off the track. He slowly shifted back to his normal, happy, carefree self and seeing him like this again, always with a big smile on his face, made your heart flutter. There was nothing like seeing the love of your life being happy.

The next race would be the Italian Grand Prix in Monza, one of your favourite races in the calendar. You loved the track, the atmosphere, the whole magic around it. Monza has always been special to you. But this year it felt different. Like something big was approaching. You felt the nerves in the pit of your stomach, but it weren’t necessarily bad nerves. It felt more like incredible excitement that could burst any minute.

It was Thursday night, after the track walk and media session that were usual. You and Daniel were sitting on the couch of your hotel room, music playing quietly in the background. You were cuddling close to him with your sleeping clothes, an oversized hoodie of his and a pair of shorts, one of his arms wrapped around your shoulders and his fingers drawing up and down your arm. You could hear his heart beating over your ear as you leaned into him, getting as close as humanly possible in this position. You were the first to break the silence.

„I have a good feeling about this weekend.“

He looked down at you in surprise. Unbeknownst to you he had been thinking something very similar. He had the feeling that he could do something great this weekend. Like he could get in the car, forget all worries and just drive the best that he can. It was like you two had an unspoken connection, both feeling good about any possible achievements this race.

„Do you really? You’re normally just nervous something might happen.“

You hummed in approval and looked up to him through your lashes. You gave him a tired smile, a sign of the long day you both had, which he reciprocated. His other hand came up to your cheek, his thumb stroking the the skin. Your heartbeat began to pick up, it always did when he was close to you. No matter how long you had been together, he still had that effect on you. Grabbing the hand that was on your cheek to reassure him you gave him a nod.

„Yeah, its weird. It feels different than normal. But you know that I’ll be proud of you no matter what happens.“

His smile widens at your answer. You always had his back and he couldn’t be more thankful.

————————————

Friday was more hectic than normally, since quali had been moved because of the new format. It was weird, you were used to quiet, less exciting Fridays not this aura of the unknown that was the quali atmosphere.throughout the course of thee day you had become fidgety. Wringing your hands, twisting your engagement ring on your finger and having shaking knees while sitting down had become somewhat of unconscious way of dealing with your nerves. So much so, that Michael had to pull you out of your own mind multiple times to stop your anxious movements. You blushed, embarrassed that one of your best friends had to witness you being an anxious wreck.

„What’s up with you today? I’ve never seen you this worked up.“

Michael had a small smile on his lips but you knew that deep down he was worried about you. It was rare that you let your anxiousness affect you but when it did, it could affect your whole behaviour. And Michael knew that. Over the course of yours and Daniel‘s relationship you had become close friends with Michael. You kind of had to, with the amount of time they spent together, working out, making plans, cooking or just hanging out. Michael was at your place almost as much as one of you were. And he had seen many things. The good and the bad, whether it was walking in on you and Daniel or walking in on you having a panic attack. He had seen anything. And you were glad that both you and Daniel had someone you could be yourselves with.

„Just nervous. I had a good feeling about this weekend and i want to be right. We both know that the first half took a toll on him. Don’t even try to deny it.“

Michael nodded, looking back on the screen that displayed the cars during FP1. It wasn’t going to badly, Daniel on P9 in front of Lando who was P12. But you hoped it would go better later in quali. But it was still an improvement to before the summer break. Michael‘s hand laid on your shoulder, making you look up at him.

„You know you can go back to the room right? To calm down a little. Dan won’t be mad that you didn’t watch every minute of free practice. Hell, I don’t think he could ever be mad at you.“

Both of you let out a laugh, because it was slightly true. Daniel was rarely ever mad at you and if he was, you knew it was serious. You shook your head to say you were okay with staying in the garage but you knew Michael wasn’t convinced. But the session was almost over, so it wouldn’t make much of a difference either way.

The time until quali had been spent with Daniel giving small interviews, getting lunch and going back to his drivers room for him to prepare. You were sitting on the dark couch talking with them, while Michael was trying to loosen the last knots in Daniel‘s back. Out of nowhere, Daniel spoke up about something completely different.

„Doll, you were right. The car feels great. I think i can do something great with it. Let’s see how quali goes. Q3 would be amazing.“

His words brought a smile onto your face. This enthusiasm was something you had missed. He was back to radiating joy, rather than frustration. It was great to see him like that. It made your heart lighter, lessened your worries about him. You didn’t know what would happen if he fell down a dark hole, and being honest, you never wanted to know.

Slowly but surely, your anxiety started to bubble up again the closer it got to quali. But now, after finding out that Dan was feeling good with a car, it was just your usual amount of quali nervousness. And with such a highspeed track like Monza you felt like your nerves were very valid. But it all had a decent end, with Daniel on P5. It was a great result but you also knew that it had been close with Lando and Max. Too close. And that little detail would get Daniel riled up. Because for Daniel, it was a sign that he could have done better, that he should have done better. But when you were back in your hotel room later that evening and Daniel was still frustrated, you knew exactly how to take his mind off it and for him to take his frustration out. Maybe it would even bring him good luck for the sprint-quali the next day.

————————————

On Saturday everyone was in good spirits. The qualifying result from the day before had put the whole team full of motivation to do even better. Daniel had a jump in his step, ready to get in the car and race. The good vibes all throughout the garage warmed your heart, with everyone very excited to see the how the sprint qualifying would play out. While the second practice was rather boring, you had spent it looking at memes with Michael, the anticipation was high. Everyone seemed to have faith in Daniel, Lando and the car, but you couldn’t shake your nerves. Your mind was going a hundred miles per hours, overthinking every possible scenario how this could turn out. You began fidgeting again, and Daniel noticed it as well. He put the balaclava that he had been about to put over his head down and came over to you. Grabbing your shaking hands and squeezing them he turned your focus on himself. His thumbs rubbed over the back of hands, his warm skin grounding you back to reality. He was always the only person that could get you out of your own mind, apart from yourself. It was his superpower. And once again it worked. Your eyes focused on his as his deep brown eyes did their usual job of calming you down. His left hand came up to stroke your cheek.

„Stop worrying, baby. Everything will turn out alright. I’ll come through.“

He saw in the look in your eyes that you weren’t convinced by his statement. So he pulled you flush against him, his arms wrapping you up in a tight hug. His scent, a mix of coffee, his aftershave and something that was wholly him and the warmth he radiated were enough for your body to loosen up. The tension in your shoulder became less evident and your thoughts stopped being so loud. He was your safe place personified, just like you were his. You burrowed your face into the fabric of his race suit, not really wanting to let go.

„I will try. No promises though. You know how it gets sometimes.“

The words were muffled but you knew he understood them. He pulled away to cup your cheeks. His gaze soft as he nodded at you.

„As long as you try, that’s enough for me.“

He pulled down his mask, pressing a kiss to your forehead before going back to prepare for the sprint qualifying with a smile on his face.

The sprint quali had been hectic. With Daniel securing P3, Gasly crashing out and Kubica spinning you had been on edge for the whole time. It wasn’t as bad as the day before but you were still tense. As soon as he crossed the line in P3, securing a front row start for the next day you were over the moon. For you it wouldn’t matter how Sunday would go. By doing this he proved that he still had it in him to be good, to really race. You could see his wide smile on the screens all over the paddock, the medal around his neck. It made you insanely proud to watch him.

You were so entranced by the pictures on the screens that you haven’t noticed Michael coming up next to you. He pulled you into a half-hug, rubbing your shoulders as you could see him smiling behind his mask. It had become a kind of non-verbal understanding of each other when it came to emotions. You could tell each other’s excitement or tension just by the body language. And right now there was excitement all around.

The two of you made your way towards the track, where the three best of the sprint quali were being interviewed. You could hear Daniel through the speakers and the closer to him you got, the more excited you got. If that was even possible. Under your mask your face started to hurt from the big smile that it wore. You couldn't remember the last time you had been this happy during a race weekend. Probably when Daniel got his podiums last season. And even that couldn't quite compare to the feeling blossoming in your chest.

After they were done with the interviews Daniel came up to you and Michael. He wrapped his arms around your waist to pull you close. Your hands finding his cheeks, letting him rest his forehead against yours. The wrinkles by his eyes gave away his huge smile and his brown gaze welcomed that sparkle back into it.

"You did so well, baby. So well. Look at you, with your medal."

He chuckled as he pulled you even closer, hiding his face into the crook of your neck. You ran your hands through his curls like you always did. He pulled away and gave Michael a hug as well before you all made your way to the media pen where he was met by his PR manager. During those interviews you and Michael continued to Crack jokes while waiting for him to finish. It slowly got darker and it was time to head back to the hotel. And despite being tired from the long day, you both decided to watch the US Open Women's Final before going to sleep, even if that might not be the best idea.

--------------------

The next morning didn't start how you expected it to start. You were woken up by someone banging on your hotel door but you didn't want to get up yet. You felt Daniel's arms tighten around your waist as you hid your face in the crook of his neck. His body radiated warmth and and it made you want to curl up even more into him. But your wish could not be fulfilled as the harsh knocks once again sounded on the door, followed by Michael's frantic voice.

"Mate get up! You overslept! You need to get up if you want to shower. "

You heard Daniel let out a groan as he stretched his arms above his head and proceeded to get up. While he made his way into the bathroom to shower and get ready you went to the door to open the door. You didn't care that your were still in your sleep attire, consisting of one of Daniel's shirts and a pair of shorts, with your hair all over the place. Michael had seen worse.

He stormed past you, fully dressed with his bag in one hand and a cupholder full of coffee cups in the other. He put the holder down and turned back to you, pushing the cup into your hands.

"You're a saint, Michael. Thanks."

Your voice was still groggy and full of sleep. You started to look for the clothes for the day as Daniel came back out, only with the teamwear missing on his body. He also grabbed a cup of coffee as he put on his last items of clothing. Him and Michael would go to the track much earlier than you, since Daniel still had strategy meetings beforehand, so you were in no hurry to get dressed yet. You'd get there later with Linda, Fernando's girlfriend, since she would give you a ride.

Daniel made his way over to the bed that you were sitting on. His hands cupping your cheeks as he proceeded to press kisses on your forehead, your nose and finally on your lips. You hummed into the kiss, a smile overtaking your face. He pulled away with a smile just as large on his own face.

"We're gonna go now. See you later baby."

He pressed one last kiss on your lips before picking up all his things and leaving with Michael. You finished your coffee and made your way to get ready.

You arrived two and a half hours before lights out on the track. You knew Daniel was already done with his meetings so you made your way to his drivers room. And you were right, they were in there with Daniel starting to get into race mode and you could tell by the way he was looking that he put himself on peak concentration.

The next couple of hours flew by. The time until the race was spent helping Michael prepare Daniel for what was to come. Calming his nerves, putting on music, anything to get him into the mindset.

The race itself was pure stress. From the moment the lights went off and Daniel won the start against Max to the last lap you were a complete ball of anxiety and stress. No matter how many times Michael had tried to calm you down, nothing would work. Your nerves took over and your habits took over. Fidgeting hands, tapping your foot, eyes roaming the room, all signs of your nerves.

But as soon as he crossed the line after the last lap all the weight of your shoulders was lifted and all you could feel was pure happiness and pride. That you could see him back on the top step. That you were able to see him back to his confident self. He had won the 2021 Italian GP. And no one could take that away from him.

You were pulled to Parc Ferme as you could feel Michael rest his arm over your shoulders. He gave you a bright smile that shown with just as much pride as yours did.

"He did it! Can you believe it? He won!"

You let out a chuckle but all you could do was nodd, overwhelmed with the feeling of joy. You arrived at the fence just in time to watch Daniel get on top of his car to celebrate. He went into a hug with Lando before starting his rounds with Andreas and Zak then on to hug his mechanics and engineers afterwards. You waited patiently for your turn and when it finally was, you wrapped your arms around him in one of the tightest hugs you ever had. He hands dug into your waist, trying to ground himself in the moment. You pulled away to hold his helmet in your hands. His visor was open so you could see his brown eyes staring into yours.

"You did it! What did I tell you? I knew your time was coming. And now you proved it to everyone. You're still here. Baby I'm so proud of you. So so proud."

He moved on to hug Michael before going to the interviews. While you watched him get on that podium, get emotional during the anthems and celebrating with Lando and Zak, tears started to build up in your eyes. A moment that would later become one of your favorite memories.

-----------------

It was just after 10pm that you and Daniel arrived back in your hotel room. And you were desperate for some alone time with him. After the race his time was spent with interviews, post-race meetings and team celebrations. You hadn't gotten him alone that whole evening and it had been getting to you. Seeing him celebrate with the team awoke something deep in you and all you wanted to do was reward him for his great race. So now that you two were finally alone it was like your whole body was buzzing from anticipation.

You strutted over to him, wrapped your arms around him and pulled him into a passionate kiss. Lips moving against each other, tongues exploring the others mouth, a kiss fueled by lust. Your fingers got lost in the curls on his head while he had a tight grip on your hips, his fingers probably leaving bruises on the skin.

You began to kiss down from his lips over his thick neck down to his collarbone. You sucked on the skin from time to time, leaving little marks all over the surface. To show everyone he was yours. You could feel his voice vibrating under your lips as deep groans left his lips. Hearing his sounds, was the closest thing to heaven you could get.

"If I would have known this would happen when we get here, I would have left hours ago. Did you have this in mind the whole time, doll? Trying to get me alone so I could fuck you?"

You hummed in agreement as you continued to pepper his skin with kisses. Your hands wandered to the hem of his hoddie, pulling on it slightly, signaling him that you wanted it off. He followed, pulling of his hoddie and the shirt underneath, leaving him shirtless. A smirk overcame your face.

"Sit down baby. Let me give you your reward for that amazing race. You deserve it."

Daniel sat down on the bed while you unbuckled his belt and opened his jeans. You pulled down his pants with his underwear and your mouth watered at the sight of his cock springing up against this stomach.

You took him in your hand and pulled him to your mouth. You licked over his head, which made Daniel let out a deep moan. You pulled away and spat into your hand before moving it up and down his shaft, your spit acting as a lubricant.

Daniel began to groan when you took his head into your mouth, swirling your tongue over the head before taking him even deeper. You felt him reach the back of your throat with your hand still pumping the inches you couldn't fit inside. Your gag reflex kicked in, your throat constricting around his cock. He seemed to feel good, his hips bucking into your mouth and his moans growing louder. You pulled away and looked up at him. He swore he could cum from just looking at you like this. Lips swollen, doe eyes slightly red and a string of spit still connected to his cock.

"Am I doing good baby? Am I making you feel good?"

Your words sent shivers down his spine as he thrusts hardly into your hand. You put your mouth back to use, licking the backvein from the base of his dick up to the head and close your lips back around it. His hands found anchor in your hair, pulling on the roots. He knew you enjoyed getting your hair pulled but the moan you let out around his was torture for the both of you.

"So good, doll. F-fuck. Just like that."

You knew he was getting close and as much as you wanted him to cum in your mouth, you pulled away. Even as a Italian GP winner he wouldn't get his high that easily. You looked up and I was a sight to behold. Head thrown back, neck full on display with his chest rising and falling rapidly with his breaths. It was hot as fuck. You loved seeing him like this, completely at your mercy.

You pulled of your clothes, only leaving you in underwear. It was only fair that you followed him. You crawled on top of him and straddled his hips. Leaning down to press kisses against his chest as your your hands explored his body. No matter how many times you spent like this, you could never get over the fact that he looked like a Roman God for you. His hands found leverage back on your hips as you started to grind into his crotch. Your panties were already soaked because of the anticipation of the day and you sucking him off and Daniel could feel it, the juices of your panties coating dick.

You started another makeout session as he guided your hips to grind down in a rhythm you both enjoyed. You could feel him pushing over your clit through the fabric of your underwear, making you moan into his mouth. You were starting to get desperate for him as your hips began to stutter every other thrust. Meanwhile Daniel had kicked off his pants, no piece of clothing remaining on his body, and took of your bra. The only thing separating you two was your underwear.

His left hand came up to hold your throat as he turned you two around, him now hovering above you. He thought you never looked more gorgeous than this. Hair sprawled on the pillows around you, a look of pure desperation on your face as he tightened his grip around your neck, making you let out a strangled moan. If he could, he would take a picture of you just like this, pleasure evident on your face, his hand with his rose tattoo on your neck.

"Dan, please. Make me feel good. Take what's yours."

A smirk overtook his face because he knew that he was the only one to make you feel like this. You were his, fully. His other hand began to pull down the last item of clothing that separated you two as he answered you, voice deeper than normal.

"You want that doll? Want me to fuck you? Use you until the only thing on your mind is my cock? Want me to wreck you baby?"

You let out a whine and nodded. You wanted to feel him, you didn't want to wait any longer. Your panties were finally off and Daniel leant back on his knees to run the head of his cock through your lower lips, coating it even more in your juices. His dark eyes looked down on you writhing around to finally feel him inside.

"How can I say know to that. What my baby wants my baby gets."

His hips thrust forward, entering you in one stroke. When he bottomed out both of you let out a moan. Daniel leaned over you, holding himself up by his arms as he started to thrust into you. You could feel every ridge and vein on his cock and it made you go crazy.

Your hands clawed as his back and shoulder and your back arched against him. His hips smacking into yours at a bruising pace making you let out sounds that were almost pornographic. It only drove him to fuck you even harder, the head of his cock hitting the bundle of nerves inside you. Your hips twitched and you heard him moan next to your ear. You were starting to get close to your high and by the way that Daniel's thrusts got sloppy he was too. His groans and moans vibrate through your body.

"Rub your clit baby. Make yourself cum for me. Cum all around my cock."

You followed his command as one of your hands moved down your body to rub your clit, the extra stimulating making fall of that high moments later. Your whole body tensed up as you let out a moan of his name, your walls constricting around his dick. Daniel followed you close after, thrusting into you one last time before spilling his cum inside if you and rolling off of you.

The only sounds in the room were your heavy breaths as you both came down from your high. Sex with Daniel was always great, but today had been something else. Maybe it was the endorphins from the win, maybe it was something else. But it made the whole day one of the best.

Daniel moved from the bed to get a towel from the bathroom to clean you up. He wiped away the leftovers of your passionate night, careful to not be too harsh on the sensitive flesh. He then gave you a shirt to put on before moving back to bed, pulling you against him. You rested your head on his chest as he pressed a kiss on your forehead.

"Thank you for being here. For always believing in me. For never giving up on me."

#daniel ricciardo #f1 #formula 1 #daniel ricciardo imagine #daniel ricciardo imagines #f1 imagine #f1 imagines #daniel ricciardo x reader #daniel ricciardo x you

[freckleslikestars]

Bay

Mulder and Scully at Charlie Scully and his partner’s commitment ceremony, circa late season three. All this really is is a discussion about homophobia in the scully family. Also I’m drunk so don’t yell at me if my punctualion is bad.

1267 words, read here on AO3

Light piano music filled the summer air, the soft scent of jasmine coiling around every corner as warm California sunlight pervaded the shadows. Gentle chit-chat could be heard as the friends and family of her brother and his partner milled about the venue. Well, friends of Charlie: she was his only family in attendance. As far as she was aware, nobody else had received so much as an invite.

It wasn’t a wedding. Of course, not. It was 1996, and even the most developed, progressive countries seemed awfully close-minded when it came to love.

But everyone was dressed in their finery and there had been poetry and declarations and vows at the ceremony, and now there was prosecco and an open bar, with speeches and dancing to look forward to.

She found herself perched in the seat of a bay window, toying with the earrings her brother had chosen – along with the beaded floral dress and the sheer wrap and the shoes and the hair and...well, pretty much every aspect of how she looked for his day – and trying to blend into the vines of flowers climbing the walls.

‘Ah, there you are, I thought I lost you,’ a glass was proffered, an elegant hand holding it by the stem, not the bowl. She forgot, sometimes, his upbringing, ‘I know you said wine, but they’re doing cosmos, and, well...’

‘Thanks,’ she smiled, ‘you know, many bartenders credit the gay community and pride with the popularity of the Cosmopolitan. Kamikazes were big in the eighties, so Cheryl Cook, who was working in a lot of gay bars at the time, exchanged the lime juice for cranberry to make it pink and slightly sweeter. That’s why Dan drinks them, he likes the history.’

‘Fascinating,’ Mulder smiled down at her, clinked their glasses together and took a sip. He looked around the room at all the happy, laughing faces, ‘so, tell me, why are you one of only two Scullys in attendance? If that’s not an inappropriate question?’

She glanced up at him and shrugged, ‘we’re catholic. Ahab and Mom weren’t...particularly welcoming of Dan. Neither was Bill. And I honestly don’t think any of the extended family even know about Charlie’s preferences.’ She swirled her drink in her glass, studying it as if it had all the answers to the universe in its depths, ‘I guess I wasn’t overly welcoming and accepting either, initially.’

‘What happened?’

‘He lived down the street from us, and he was in my year at school, though he’s closer in age to Charlie. We were in a couple of classes together, and we were all part of this big friend group. He was really good at algebra, and I...may or may not have had a thing for him.’

‘I think I see where this is going.’

‘Yeah. There was this tree, at the park we used to all hang out at, and one night I caught them kissing behind it. I think we all kind of...knew Charlie was gay, we just didn’t talk about it, as if he wouldn’t be if we just pretended hard enough that he wasn’t. It broke my heart; if at sixteen you can know what heartbreak is.’

‘I think you can.’

‘Well, I stopped eating, stopped talking to anyone. This boy that I was oh so very much in love with was kissing my little brother, and so I decided to starve myself to death.’

‘Dana Katherine Scully, I never pegged you as the melodramatic sought.’

‘I was a teenager, I listened to a lot of Fleetwood Mac at the time, what do you expect.’

‘You clearly didn’t starve to death, so what happened.’

‘My mom sat me down, told me to tell her what happened. So I did. She told Ahab, there was a big fight, and Ahab kicked Charlie out.’

‘Shit.’

‘Yeah. Charlie and Dan ran off together that night. I didn’t think we’d ever hear from them again, but...Missy kept in contact with them. Missy...she wasn’t exactly 100% straight either. I remember we argued about that, once, when I was about nineteen. I told her...it doesn’t matter what I told her, it wasn’t something I’d care to repeat. She had every right never to speak to me again, and yet...she just hugged me,’ she backhanded a tear, sniffed, ‘I...I spent a lot of time parroting my parents’ beliefs. And she told me she didn’t like to see such hatred in me, that I would end up losing her like we lost Charlie.’

‘You didn’t lose her, though.’

‘No. It took a long time, and a lot more of her explaining why hating someone for being in love was stupid than I care to admit, but, I came to understand it and accept it. Maybe even love her for it. Charlie called me when I was at the Academy, said he wanted to apologise for making out with the guy I liked. I think Missy told him I’d...’ she paused, looked up at him shyly, ‘I’d been going through some things.’

‘Things?’

‘I- I sort of had a...thing, with this girl who was also at the Academy. It didn’t last long, but it didn’t end well, and, well, I...I guess it ended badly because of a lot of internalised stuff I had going on, and I think Missy knew Charlie would understand the self-loathing a bit more than she did.’

‘I didn’t know-‘

‘Nobody but Charlie and Dan do, these days. Missy did, of course, but-‘

‘I won’t tell anyone, I-‘

‘I never thought you would,’ she shook her head, a small smile pulling at the corners of her lips. ‘Anyway, I realised you have to start building your own faith – you can’t always rely on God to have all the answers: I think I’m still learning that.’

‘I’m sorry,’ he cast his gaze down to the floor after watching her face so intently as she retold the story.

‘What for?’

‘I thought your family was kind of perfect. I mean, I guess your mom kinda manages to pull this whole image together of the perfect catholic family, y’know, with the doctor daughter and the navy son, the way she always seems to be there for you. And you’ve always seemed like you really love your parents.’

‘I do,’ she shrugged, ‘and Mom, she’s...she’s old fashioned. I think she doesn’t really mind what we get up to in our personal lives so long as we don’t, y’know, make a big deal out of it and flaunt it, I guess. And...I think she’s lost too much to care much more, anyway. Charlie loves mom, in the abstract, too. If Bill weren’t around, we could probably talk to her about it, but Bill-‘

‘Not so keen on “love is love”?’

‘Not really. I love him, in that grudging, sibling way, but I can’t imagine ever wanting to voluntarily spend time with him without feeling any sense of obligation, and I think the same is true for him.’

‘”All unhappy families,” and so on,’ Mulder sighed, downing the last dregs of his Cosmo.

‘Tolstoy had a point,’ she said, slipping from her seat and reaching for his now empty Nick and Nora, ‘get you another?’

‘Sure,’ he smiled, relinquishing the glass to her possession, ‘hey, Scully?’

‘Hmm?’

‘Have I told you how pretty you look today?’

She blushed, looked away with her bottom lip caught between her teeth, ‘perhaps I should just get you a water, Mulder.’

He chuckled, knowing full well he wasn’t drunk, and nodded, ‘perhaps.’

Tagging @today-in-fic

#My writing #exercising some demons #homophobia mentions #tw homophobia #txf fic #xf fanfic #the x files #txf #I was using a random word generator for a prompt and the word that came up was bay #hence the title #and then that inspired this #mostly i was just struck with the image of scully #dressed in what GA was wearing at the 1996 Telegatto Awards in Itally #sat in a bay window at a wedding #yknow how she was dressed? with that low behive and the beaded floral dress and the sheer wrap #yea #kinda hints at bisexual dana sculyl

[pretoriafics]

If I wasn’t a goddamn werewolf - Pt. 4

Things with your boyfriend are getting worse, and seems like Derek will not give up on you easily. Word count: 2.867 Pairings: Reader x Derek; Reader x Platonic!Talia Contain: Some angst, some fluff, Original characters (Daniel, your boyfriend)  Warnings: English is not my main language <3; Inappropriate language TEEN WOLF MASTERLIST PART 1  |  PART 5

Your eyes open slowly.

It was a sunny morning, with the orange lights of the sun passing through the windows of the loft. You were close to Derek's naked chest, and his fingers running slowly through your hair tell you that he woke up before you.

"Oh, damn, did I woke you up?" He asks you, worried, putting a sweet kiss on your forehead.

"No." You throw your arm on his waistline, pulling him close while looks at his green and sleepy eyes "Good morning."

A smile was born on Derek's lips, and he gets closer to you. His thumb runs through your face while he puts a soft kiss on your lips.

"Good morning." He mumbles, with his eyes attached to yours.

It's been a wonderful night. You and Derek had a stroll around the city on his Camaro, and then you guys stopped in a clearing into the woods. There you drank a few, and you and Derek laughed and cuddled all night. He requested you to came to his loft and spend the night with him, and you couldn't say no to his proposal. That's how you ended at his bed, with clothes from both of you spread through the bedroom's floor.

You and Derek said nothing for a while. You were just looking at each other, with sweetness and pure love emitting from each other's look. Of course, you didn't need to say anything. Actually, any word would mess up that moment when both of you were just feeling the presence of each other. Wow, he was so beautiful...

Derek gives a soft smile for you, and you almost melted in pure love. Suddenly, you felt butterflies in your stomach. Oh, God, that would be the perfect moment to tell him about your feelings. But you couldn't. You needed to go.

"I'll get late for a meeting with a client, so I have to go." Your voice was low and soft, and you gave him a slow kiss as a way to say goodbye. Then, you stood up from the bed, with just your panties covering your body.

He sats on the bed.

"Do you really need it?"

"Yeah." You said, wearing your bra and taking your shirt from the floor "You know, I have a few bills to pay. I hate adult life." You look at him with a small smile, and you wear your shirt.

Derek put himself on his knees on the bed and stretch his arms in your direction, grabbing your shirt. You let out a chuckle.

"I think your client will be understanding with you if you get late."

He pulls you in his direction, making you laugh.

"No, he won't! Stop, I have to go!"

Derek's arms wrap around your waistline, and he throws you on the mattress while chuckling. His green eyes get attached to yours and, then he puts several soft kisses onto your neck. His voice was low.

"I just need ten minutes more with you."

You close your eyes and wrap your fingers around his hair, just feeling his kisses through your skin while he puts his body over yours. His kisses had some kind of magic that could let you immovable and weak.

"Damn, I can't say no for you." You mumble.

Derek looks at you with a soft smile. He grabs your legs, putting them attached to his hips, and puts a slow and wet kiss on your lips. It was impossible not to smile between the kiss. You got late for your meeting that day.

That was the last time you woke up in his bed.

This time, when you opened your eyes, you didn't hear Derek's voice.

Sometimes, when you miss him, you close your eyes and start to remember all things you had lived together, from your friendship until your last moments. Your missing about him always seems stronger in the mornings. You both used to cuddle that hour of the day. After all, you both used to cuddle that hour of the day.

You felt the arm of your boyfriend on you, with your back on his chest. He was called Daniel. Well, you love him, but not the way he wants so much. He is such a successful surgeon and would give you the world if you wanted to. Everything is great with Dan: The dates, the conversations, sex... But, of course, he wasn't Derek.

That day, you needed to go to your training with Derek. So, you stood up from the bed, just wearing your lace panties. Dan sits on the mattress with arched eyebrows.

"Good morning for you too, cranky."

You turn yourself to face him, letting out a long sigh.

"Good morning. Sorry, baby. I'm just hurrying."

"Hurrying for what?"

To see another man.

"Uh..." You bite your inner lip, trying to think of a lie "Laura and I are just doing some exercises together. I'm late, and she'll kill me. She hates delay."

"She hates everything. Can't you stay here with me?"

Oh, God, and there he is: Looking at you with that puppy eyes.

"I can't. I'm sorry."

You walk to the wardrobe and takes some clothes while Dan lets out a long sigh of frustration.

"I just can't recognize you anymore. You are full of secrets from me. What's the problem?"

When you heard him, you stopped your way to the bathroom. Oh god. The last thing you want is to hurt his feelings. Dan just simply doesn't deserve this.

"Nothing, Dan. Really." You said, looking at him. The guilt was already filling your heart. "I'm just too busy. I'll compensate you for this." You go in his direction and curves your body, getting close to Dan and giving him a short and cold peck. "I promise."

Dan stares at you for a few seconds, complete disbelief about your words. He let out a long and tired sigh.

"Okay, if you say so..."

Damn. You were messing up everything. You hadn't time to fix things between both of you, so you go take a shower thinking in a way to conciliate your new life with your personal one.

Your time on the pack made you think about if you met Derek for real. He was such a different person with them! He was a tough one, rude and distant. He was the complete opposite when both of you were friends, mainly when you used to date. Derek was such an adorable man with you those times.

Is Derek has created a character when he was your boyfriend? Well, you didn't know.

In the beginning, at your training with your brand new alpha, he was cold and distant. Now he still the same way, but he is fussier than ever. Your training with him made you feel tired to death. However, that day, he noticed you were different.

"Go take five minutes resting." He said, with his analytical eyes on you. He wasn't too fussy today, and he almost seems a little bit more... caring. "You're with your head in the clouds today."

You walked in your water bottle direction while he spokes with you. With his comment, you look at him while you take a few sips.

"What?" You said, putting the water bottle away from your lips. Crap, Derek knows you so well...

"You're unfocused." Derek crosses his arms, narrowing his eyes from you "It's not your thing."

You put the water bottle on the floor, close to your smartphone. You took the cellphone, expecting Dan's messages because he always sends you a few while you're training. That day, you received nothing. Yeah, Dan was pissed off with you. You let out a long sigh, guilty.

"It's nothing." You said, unlocking the screen and going to Instagram. Then, you saw something that made you freeze: Dan's best friend posted a photo of them, still at college. He was wishing a happy birthday for Dan.

Crap! It was Dan's birthday, and you completely forgot!

You hide your face in your hand.

"Oh, damn..."

"You sure it's nothing?"

Derek still is looking at you, pretty open if you needed to talk with someone. He knew something was wrong with you. He saw you upset so many times that he knew when something was wrong.

You put your cellphone on the floor again, with your lips compressed. Then, ashamed as hell, you cross your arms and look to any part of the basement except Derek.

"It's Dan's birthday. The first we would spend together, and I just forgot it."

"You're definitely in trouble."

"Damn, I know." You let out a long sigh. "I just-"

"Look" He gets closer to you, looking you into your eyes "Don't push yourself too hard. You have been through a lot. It shouldn't be easy to just be part of this supernatural world all of a sudden. There's too much in your mind now."

Oh, he always knows how to calm you down... Or It was just the effect of his voice on you? Maybe both.

"I really don't want to think that way. I don't want to use all of this werewolf bullshit to be an excuse for being negligent with my boyfriend."

Derek shook his head negatively.

"(Y/N), you're not using this as an excuse-"

"I'm a terrible girlfriend, Jesus!" You slide your hand through your face "Dan don't deserve it."

Derek gives you a rueful look, hating to see you that way. Of course, you were just guilty with everything about you and Dan, but Derek doesn't need to knows it.

"Hey, look at me." He said, calling you to think straight. You instantaneously look at him, and he continued to talk. "Dan is a real lucky guy to have you."

And, God, how Derek envies him!

However, the entire world stopped when you gave him a soft smile, thankful for his words. The effect of his voice on you was - and maybe always will be - completely magical. Your smile made the same with him: made his heart race and get warm, and he felt an almost ethereal feeling.

Because, yeah, both of you had this kind of unreal bond.

"Thank you for your support, Der."

All that situation with Dan made you put your guard down. Derek knew how to use it to get closer to you again. Of course, he did it perfectly. It resulted in a conversation between both of you in months - a real conversation! And you even had called him by his nickname.

It was his turn to gave you a smile. You always melted in pure love.

"I'll always be here for you, (Y/N). You know it."

But... If Derek is just lying for you again? If he just wants to take advantage of you? He did it once, and he could perfectly do that again. Why not?

"Well..." You breathe in, recovering yourself of that sudden breathless and arousing your defenses again "I think I'm ready to continue training."

Derek compresses his lips, getting your silent and cutting message of 'stay away from me'. He breathes in and nods for you without saying any word.

You and Derek hadn't spoken to each other for the rest of the day.

Everyone was out to solve some kind of issue with a sort of creature in town. Derek has not authorized you to go with them because you were such a young werewolf, and you don't know how to defend yourself, so it could be dangerous for you and all of them. It was near 9PM, and you still were not ready to go to Dan's house. You had made a promise to him this morning, but you still don't know how to fix things. So, as a way to avoid your problems, you stay at the new Hale house until you figure out what you could do for Dan's birthday - and, also, what you could do to compensate him for all the bother you cause him.

You were laid on the couch, with your eyes fixed in the ceiling and thoughtful. Suddenly, a female voice launches you out of your own thoughts.

"I think we didn't meet each other properly. Seems like the perfect chance, don't you think?"

You sat on the couch and look at the owner of that voice, close to the frame that divides the living room and the entrance hall: It was Talia, the one you had heard so much about. You didn't know that, but she also heard a lot about you.

"Yeah, I think it is. I mean, we don't have to worry about all the mess this house is with the rest of the pack."

Talia gave you a smile, and you gave it back.

"It's pretty crazy. Teenagers are energical." She said, sitting on the couch next to you.

"Yeah, they are. But seems like they try to control themselves when Derek is close."

"Oh, of course. They are pretty aware that Derek could rip their necks."

You let out a chuckle.

"Yeah, I noticed that."

Talia lay down on the couch, staring at the ceiling. The living room dives in silence, but not an awkward one. It was comfortable.

"So..." Talia broke the silence "I know you've passed through a lot. It's not easy being a werewolf suddenly and find out about a whole new world at the same time. It's a lot of information."

"I'm trying really hard. You have no idea. But I'm pretty worried about my boyfriend, Dan. I don't want to mess up things between us. You know, because of all of that supernatural thing."

Well, you don't want to mess up even more things between both of you.

"Take it easy. You get it with time." Talia looks at you, analytical "I know we aren't too close to each other, but I'll ask something because I worry about anyone who is part of the pack: You are, you know, happy with Dan?"

That question caught you by surprise, and you hesitate. Talia seems to notice it. But, finally, you reply to her.

"Uh... Dan do everything to makes me happy, you know?"

"Yeah, I know, but I also know that it doesn't answer my question."

Since the supermarket day, when Talia saw you for the first time, she noticed countless things that needed to be fixed. The first one was you and Dan. It was pretty obvious to her that you are not happy with him, as well as it was the fact that you needed some advice. She recognizes a lost soul when she sees one.

With her words, you hesitate again.

"When you say happy, you mean...?"

"I mean happiness, (Y/N). It shouldn't be difficult to answer this. There are just two possible alternatives: Yes, or no."

You compress your lips, thoughtful while looks at the ceiling. You felt in a therapy session. And honestly? You kinda needed this kind of conversation.

You spend a few seconds in silence as you were thinking about a reply.

"Yes, I am. Dan is perfect."

"But you think he is perfect for you?"

Hell no. Dan was perfect to be your best friend, and not something more. You always wanted someone who could pluck the air out of your lungs, someone who could put adrenaline into your veins. You want someone who could put your entire body on fire. Dan is unable to do it. He is too stable, like water.

But Derek... Oh, he was the pure meaning of fire.

"Well..." You let out a long sigh "I think he is."

Talia stares at you with arched eyebrows.

"Think? Oh, girl..." She let out a long sigh "Questions like these should have quick responses. It's a consequence for..."

"For being in love. I know."

"You're not happy, are you?"

It was your turn to look at her, recognizing a safe place there. You were honest now.

"Jesus, no. He's a great guy, but he got me so bored!"

Talia let out a low chuckle, looking at the ceiling now.

"It's visible you're not happy. I can see your discouraged look on the days you need to go to his house. If you're not happy, then why are you still with this guy?"

Because you need to move on, and you think Dan is the right man for it. You could fall for him with time.

"It's complicated..."

Your answer came with a long and thoughtful sigh. Talia knew all your drama with Derek, as well as the entire pack. So, she didn't need your explanations to find out about what the term 'it's complicated' means to you.

"I can understand you." She stood up from the couch, looking at you "But be careful to not lie to yourself. Be honest with you. I'm pretty sure things will get better. Otherwise, you can talk with me."

You sat on the couch, feeling a bit better. It was good to be honest with someone about all of that, after all.

"I'll remember it." You gave her a smile "Thank you."

Talia returns your smile and walks to the kitchen. And, now, you need to solve things with Dan.

And, maybe, with yourself.

TAG LIST: @teen-wolf-obsessed4life

#teen wolf imagine #teen wolf imagines #teen wolf fanfics #teen wolf fanfic #teen wolf fics #derek hale imagine #derek hale imagines #derek hale x reader #derek hale fanfics #derek hale x you #derek hale x y/n

[dailydnp]

Daniel Howell: "Mental health isn't a mystery"

YouTuber Daniel Howell has written a book aimed at demystifying mental health and offering a toolkit for people who are struggling. He tells us why You Will Get Through This Night.

Dan Howell has a message for the struggling.

Don't suffer in silence. Reach out. Connect.

"It can be hard to ask for help, but you just need to think how you'd feel if a friend did the same," says Howell. "It wouldn't be a burden, you'd feel better that you can help them and it might bring you closer."

The YouTuber has written a book that aims to demystify mental health, a straight-talking missive that offers practical solutions and even a few jokes. He describes You Will Get Through This Night as a "lean, mean, mental health machine" – check out our interview below.

Tell us about your new book – You Will Get Through This Night…

This is the book that I wish I could have read when I needed it. Too many of us go through life not really thinking about our mental health, how we think and how it makes us feel, and if we just learn a few tips (that we should all be taught) it can literally change our lives! Why waste any more time? The book is a lean, mean, mental health machine - there's no fluff or waffle, it gets straight to the point and tells you the practical things you can try in your life right now that will make a difference.

I'm here as the guy that makes it relatable, so you don't feel bad if you see yourself in these struggles, and funny. Because sometimes after a long day the last thing I want to do is 'homework' or read something boring, so if I can make a few inappropriate jokes about my mess of a life to make it enjoyable, I'm happy to.

Are there any books you used as inspiration when writing yours?

I actually really tried to avoid getting influenced by other books out there! A lot of mental health books are either: celeb memoirs that are amazing for relating to and shattering the stigma, but not great advice for you, or serious psychological self help that goes really deep on specific topics and the theory, but are a struggle to get through to the important revelations.

If you only ever buy one book to understand your mind and sort your life out – I want this to be the one. It's like the highlights of the entire library, crammed into 300 pages – designed for you not to just read once, but come back to and refer to as a toolkit for whenever you need it.

Was there a specific incident in your life that spurred you to write it?

Definitely. When I opened up about my struggles with depression, it was incredibly hard – and terrifying. I seriously thought I'd damage my career, people would judge me and think I'm 'crazy' and I'd have to wade through misunderstanding. It was the opposite. People empathised, understood and related.

Some people saw themselves in my story and realised for the first time that their life wasn't supposed to be that way, others finally understood a silent struggle that someone in their life was going through too. It showed me not just the importance of sharing your story to break the stigma that still exists around mental health, but how much incredibly important stuff there is for all of us to know about our minds!

My experience in life has given me a following of passionate people that show me every day the power we all have by telling our stories, the responsibility that comes with a platform, and the good you can do with it. I knew I had to write the book that could have saved me years of struggling – so hopefully someone out there doesn't go through the same.

Great trailer for the book! And really astute point: everyone in the world is alone with their thoughts before they fall asleep. How do you manage your thoughts in that time?

Thank you! I really wanted to show firstly, that mental health is universal. A lot of us only think 'mental health' applies to people with serious anxiety or depression, when it's actually how all of us think and feel all the time – if you are too stressed, have difficulty dealing with anger, or worry too much up in your head and it's holding you back in any way from enjoying life, that's your mental health! You can do something about it.

I'm someone that has real trouble getting to sleep if I'm worrying about stuff and the book deals with this in so many ways: from learning mindfulness to get perspective on your thoughts, to being present and using your senses and body to change how your brain operates, to the practical side of sorting out your problems so they don't go bump in the night.

Deep question – but why do you think night often brings out our darker thoughts and emotions? (No pun intended.)

'The Night' is such an important metaphor, not just for the dark times, but that literally we spend all our days pushing our fears to the back of our minds (to be distracted by the activities of the day), but when night comes and it's just you and your thoughts – they suddenly appear and you have to confront the truth.

We're all great at lying to ourselves about what bothers us and how we really feel, whether that's a day to day problem on your mind or a huge skeleton in the closet (for me literally my own skeleton) that is having a huge effect on your life.

The good news is – you can 'be your own light'. Mental health isn't a mystery or something set in stone, it's something you can influence and shape to make yourself healthier and happier.

As a YouTuber, how would you describe the relationship between your mental health and social media? Presumably it must be complicated…

I am definitely trapped in a digital nightmare that I created, haha! Social media has its good sides, from finding communities and support, to having fun and even learning about things that you might not get from a classroom or in your real world environment.

The downside is that the internet brings out the worst in people, from trolls hiding behind screens, to social media beaming us with addictive algorithms that force us to compare ourselves to the highlight reels of our friends' lives and the world's most perfect and successful celebrities.

Even just the information overload of our social lives and the 24 hour news cycle is too much for our primitive brains to handle, no wonder it's so bloody stressful!

How would you recommend people use social media for the benefit of their mental health? And negate its potentially harmful effects?

I do a whole deep dive on social media and how to manage it. From 'muting' that annoying friend, to curating the content on your timeline to take it from stressful and upsetting, to inspirational and mood boosting! It's important to get perspective on why people act differently on the internet and how to interpret the sometimes extreme actions we see (that someone would never do in real life).

We have this incredible power in our hands, connecting us to the whole world all the time, we just need to know how to make it work for us.

Is there a piece of advice or mantra that you’ve found helpful? Either someone else’s or one of your own?

I'll spoil it now: the number one tip for managing your mental health and general emotional wellbeing is support from others. I say this as the biggest introvert in the world that needs a two week holiday alone in a cave after going to a party for five minutes – but sharing what you're thinking and feeling with another person can be a lifesaver.

Even if they don't have magical advice, just feeling seen, heard, acknowledged and getting what's going on up in your head out into the world and onto the table can give you perspective and feel less alone. It can be hard to ask for help, but you just need to think how you'd feel if a friend did the same – it wouldn't be a burden, you'd feel better that you can help them and it might bring you closer!

Don't suffer in silence. You've got this. You will get through this night.

#daniel howell #danisnotonfire #dan #phan #mine #interview

[livingasaghost]

okay so i always see a bunch of ridiculous aftg headcanons soooo i decided to put my hat in the ring and try it out

this is all about the foxes and their chaotic as hell groupchats

so let’s imagine for a second that this series doesn’t take place in the early 2000s so smart phones exist 

periodically the foxes have exchanged numbers with each other - obviously each of the cliques can contact each other, but then throughout that first year there are little things that cause people to give out their numbers

like at some point nicky lets it slip that he’s having trouble with his stats class and out of the blue allison offers to meet up with him because she’s surprisingly like really great at math? so the two of them start up a little text chain where they just shit talk everyone and start a few random bets

and then dan gets katelyn’s number from one of the other vixens and the two of them initially just start texting about game details...which turns into bonding over make-up and girl talk and eventually dan starts inviting katelyn to hang out with her and the fox girls

at first renee is the only one who has everyone’s number because she’s the only one who everyone likes 

but then after their big win, renee just puts everyone in one massive groupchat so no one gets left out and they can all bond and it’s just as chaotic as one would expect

at first everyone’s just trying to figure out who’s who, but not everyone has an iphone so all the iphone users are really pissed off at the green bubbles

aaron’s the only one with an android because of course he is

he refuses to switch to an iphone even when the rest of the team BEGS him to bc he “doesn’t see the point”

for the whole summer after neil’s first year, the team keeps trying to pressure him and andrew into upgrading their phones because the team is so sick of what it’s doing to the groupchat

neil doesn’t really know how it all works because he’s still getting used to having a phone and having friends to text, but then everyone starts sending him emojis that don’t show up properly and his phone won’t load any photos they send and the rest of the foxes are so FRUSTRATED bc neil doesn’t seem to notice

eventually, in a shocking turn of events, andrew gets so fed up with the chaos of everyone texting his flip phone that he’s the one who gives in

he shows up at the dorm one day and just hands neil a little baggie with his new iphone

they’re just starting to get it set up when nicky strolls in and IMMEDIATELY takes over, showing neil all about emojis and changing your phone background and saving all the fox contacts

neil is, unsurprisingly, very overwhelmed and slightly terrified, so andrew reaches over and does it all for him, and nicky just looks put out

it takes neil like six months to change any of his contacts or backgrounds or settings because he just doesn’t care

eventually he does manage to set his lockscreen to a really bad photo he took of andrew when he wasn’t paying attention

andrew notices it one day and chooses not to say anything

(he secretly loves it)

when the groupchats start heating up.......neil realizes it’s kind of fun to have a smart phone because it feels like the foxes are with him all the time

after neil and andrew get iphones, the rest of the team decide to make a separate groupchat for just apple users bc no one really texts aaron regularly anyway

at first it’s just a place where people drop details about practices

dan shares news from wymack and abby and then kevin starts giving orders about what the foxes can do better

and somehow that is the tipping point

because everyone hates when kevin starts talking exy

(except neil)

so everyone jumps on him and it’s the perfect icebreaker

nicky is the obnoxious one who sends a ridiculous amount of emojis and gifs and reaction images (neil never knows where he finds them all) - he also sends the most tiktoks. usually ones that are super inappropriate or just plain stupid.

allison texts a lot because she’s always attached to her phone ready for the tea and sometimes she’ll send a really raunchy meme just to spice things up

neil doesn’t really know what’s going on half the time - and he never really scrolls up to see what he’s missed - so if and when he does respond, it’s usually just to ask clarifying questions or give a thumbs up

matt is the one who always checks in to make sure everyone’s doing okay - he’ll send really encouraging texts that people like andrew shit on

one time matt sends everyone a really sweet text over the holidays about how much they mean to him....and then dan just kicks him out of the gc and goes “okay enough of that bullshit i hate u guys xoxo” and andrew gives it a thumbs up

sometimes when he’s bored andrew will just kick out everyone but renee and neil bc why not

kevin is the one who gets kicked out the most 

sometimes it’s because he texts about exy, but eventually it just becomes a running joke that they’ll kick him out randomly

like they’ll be in the middle of a conversation and then allison will just boot him out of the gc just to see what he’ll do

usually when this happens kevin will just send an angry message in one of the other gcs telling neil to add him back

it’s usually neil or renee who adds someone back bc they feel bad that people get left out of the gc

renee has this weird obsession with tiktok and she sends them CONSTANTLY like usually they remind her of certain teammates

she’ll send these at all hours of the night bc she has trouble sleeping and that means more time to scroll through the app from hell

and even though it gets on everyone’s nerves, no one can hate renee so they all just kind of....watch the videos and then everyone’s obsessed with tiktok

dan will send memes and things but only when they’re like so ridiculously funny that they get the whole gc wheezing at midnight on a school night

and usually they’re SO ridiculous that they only make sense to dan

“Dan you do realize we have practice tomorrow?”

“matt shut up this girl is talking like MARGE SIMPSON I CANT BREATHE”

most of the foxes text without proper capitalization or punctuation but  matt and kevin and neil (and aaron) are all very proper with their texting

dan makes fun of matt all the time bc he doesn’t seem like the kind of person to Use Proper English but matt doesn’t understand why everyone can’t just use capitals when it’s automatic (he doesn’t know how to turn it off)

neil uses proper grammar just bc it doesn’t occur to him to do anything else

andrew uses lowercase bc it reads like a monotone to him and he thinks it’s ~cool~ and he also likes making kevin mad

sometimes he’ll use the wrong punctuation and grammar on purpose just to get kevin to reply to his texts

eventually nicky realizes he can change the group name and the group photo so he starts the most chaotic conversation by dramatically changing it to a snapchat screenshot of neil asleep on andrew’s lap and calling the gc SEXY EXY BESTIES 👅💦

it stays like that for all of two minutes before kevin notices and quickly changes the name to The Foxes

and then it becomes a free for all as everyone tries to be smart and snarky and ridiculous

stans of kevin’s left hand

the foxwhore court

🧡 Neil Josten Fanclub 🧡

life’s like a game of exy🥍

periodically throughout the week someone will change the name as they see fit - normally it’s something stupid but sometimes they’ll start an actual conversation by changing the group name

The Ungrateful Foxes

fuck you kevin

Guys plz be nice to Kevin

YOU KNOW, I GET IT—

The Worst Team in the NCAA

fuck you kevin

GO TO SLEEP NEIL!!!

one time after they’d spent like two weeks being called wymack’s whores, andrew decided he’d had enough of that so he just renamed it 🖕🏻🦊

and they do have a separate gc with wymack (they just don’t need to bother him with all their shitty commentary)

but funny enough, they’re almost worse in the wymack gc

at first wymack tried to control everyone by kicking people out who misbehaved, but then it just kept happening until it was him, kevin and renee left and he had to let it go

now all the foxes will text him at the most random times with the most random of questions

they also have a running joke where they all call him dad

kevin hates it, but wymack secretly thinks it’s hilarious and sweet

“hey dad can we get pizza after practice tomorrow???”

“dad nicky’s being a bitch can you make him run extra laps”

“WAIT DID YOU GUYS KNOW THAT WYMACK IS KEVIN’S ACTUAL DAD??? *blinking man gif*”

kevin starts leaving the gc instead of waiting to be kicked out

#should i do another one of these #this was SO FUCKING FUN #aftg #aftg headcanon #aftg hc #tfc #headcanon #mine #personal