#dealing with RL stuff at the moment so a bit backed up

[ingravinoveritas]

How do you feel about the fact that angels and demons are non-sexual beings in Good omens?

Anon #1: Well, this is a great question and I appreciate you sending it in for me to answer. Including the other Anons here since they are relevant.

I actually have a lot of feelings about angels and demons being non-sexual beings in Good Omens, which I will do my best to explain. I think the first thing I have to do is make sure I understand what you mean by non-sexual. I know Neil has said that angels and demons do not have genitalia "unless they make an effort," so by that measure, we can say angels and demons are genderless beings (agender or genderqueer perhaps as well, depending on the angel or demon). That, to me, is distinctive and not the same thing as non-sexual, which I consider to be beings who--by design or choice--do not engage in sexual intercourse.

The other thing we have to consider is the distinction between book!Good Omens and TV show!Good Omens. I have not finished reading the book, but it is my understanding that Neil (and Terry, of course) established the angels and demons as genderless in the original text. When the show was adapted for television, 30 years had passed since the novel was published, and so much had changed in that time, so a lot of things were updated to have Good Omens more align with the sensibilities of the modern era (one example is Neil talking about Crowley's aesthetic as an early '90s "Wall Street" type and how they had to figure out what the equivalent of that would be in the present day).

One thing that hasn't changed very much, however, is the portrayal of gay/queer people in the media. For much of those intervening 30 years, gay and queer people were shown as stereotypes--flamboyant, one-dimensional caricatures who existed as "sidekicks" (the "gay BFF") or object lessons for the straight characters (I would say this was especially the case in the late '80s and '90s with the AIDS crisis).

By this time, gay and queer people could exist on TV, but only if they were non-sexual/sexless. One example of this is Blanche's brother Clayton on The Golden Girls. After he comes out to Blanche, he brings home his fiance Doug in a subsequent episode, which has Blanche indignant. "I don't really mind Clayton being homosexual, I just don't like him dating men." Another example is Will & Grace, which aired in the late '90s. Will was a gay man who was one of the main characters, but while we constantly saw Grace falling into bed with random men and all sorts of escapades related to her sex life, we were never shown Will in any sort of similar situation. He could be gay, and he could be Grace's BFF, but he couldn't have a sex life of his own. It was this idea that gay people could exist in abstract terms, but not in the concrete reality of what it meant to be gay. Homophobia disguised as "acceptance."

So when I see/hear the word "non-sexual" in relation to gay and queer people, this is what comes to mind. What I also think of is that the absence of gay male sexuality (as for the majority of the show, Aziraphale and Crowley are male-presenting) is not the same thing as the presence of asexuality. I think it's been remarkably easy for Neil to take credit for that when it doesn't seem to have been his actual intention, and it also removes from him the responsibility of portraying that specific aspect of a non-heterosexual love story.

One thing I want to be very clear on is that I am in no way trying to put down anyone's head canon or what any reader or viewer may see in these characters, and I will never say that anyone's head canons are not valid. But when we are talking about the canon--in other words, what is actually on the screen--I feel like there is a tendency to overlook what Michael and David are actually doing with these characters.

In addition to what I mentioned above about gay characters on TV in the '80s and '90s, the other thing you absolutely could not do as a gay or queer person was fall in love. This is alluded to more in the example above from The Golden Girls, where Blanche is horrified that her brother wants to marry a man, until Sophia finally helps her understand:

Blanche: "Oh, look, I can accept the fact that he's gay, but why does he have to slip a ring on this guy's finger so the whole world will know?" Sophia: "Why did you marry George?" Blanche: "We loved each other. We wanted to make a lifetime commitment. Wanted everybody to know." Sophia: "That's what Doug and Clayton want, too. Everyone wants someone to grow old with. And shouldn't everyone have that chance?"

Here we are now, over 30 years later, and some people still don't want everyone to have that chance. Some people think two people of the same sex can't love each other the way a man and a woman do. Because queer love--and especially love between two men--is still looked at as "less than" and inferior to straight love.

This is the world Michael and David grew up in. This is the social and cultural climate they saw and navigated their own sexuality and identity in--'80s Britain, Margaret Thatcher, Section 28. Where being gay or queer wasn't just immoral, it was illegal. Your very existence alone was stigmatized, pathologized, and criminalized. And they are bringing that lived experience into the roles of Aziraphale and Crowley, albeit in different ways.

To me, Michael is playing Aziraphale as a repressed gay man. A man who--much like David--grew up in the faith and was made to believe that his natural feelings, attractions, and desires were wrong, shameful, and disgusting. We see this with Gabriel deriding Aziraphale for eating sushi and enjoying other Earthly pleasures, and it would be logical to think that it's taken a long time for Aziraphale to feel comfortable with the foods/drink/books he likes and the pleasure they bring him. Similarly, it's taken Aziraphale a millennia to find the one being who makes him feel comfortable with the desires he has. The being who is the exception to every rule Heaven ever laid out, who encourages Aziraphale to be himself in every respect. And that's Crowley.

In this scene in the Bastille (which I know has been analyzed a thousand times and a thousand ways), when Aziraphale looks at Crowley like this, the desire rising up in him is more than obvious. The wide eyes, the heaving bosom, and of course the smoldering up-and-down glance all speak to this--he is, quite literally, checking Crowley out, without shame, possibly for the first time ever. Even though that desire is not outwardly expressed in GO season 1, it does not mean it doesn't exist--only that Aziraphale letting himself feel this (and Crowley being the one entity who allows him to feel this) is the first step in a very long journey away from that lifetime of repression.

In terms of Crowley, I feel that David is playing Crowley as a gay man who is afraid of commitment because he has been hurt in the past. There is a feeling of impermanence to Crowley--that, despite being a celestial, immortal entity, he doesn't like to hold onto things because deep down, he believes they will eventually be taken away. He knows who he is, but is all too aware of the consequences that come with it. So he does not get attached, because to him, attachment equals pain, and he believes nothing is worth that risk.

In the church scene in 1941 (which, again, so much has already been said), Crowley saves Aziraphale's books from the wreckage. It's been said by many that Crowley fell in love long before this (which I do think is true), but for me, I feel like this was where we saw that Crowley was truly "attached" to Aziraphale. He rescued Aziraphale from the Bastille, and he saved Aziraphale from the bombs of the Blitz, but in grabbing the books, Crowley isn't just saving Aziraphale's body--he's holding onto a piece of his soul. For the first time ever, Crowley has found something that isn't temporary, and after a millennia of cynicism, Aziraphale is the one entity who makes him feel fully and wholeheartedly ready to commit to something.

This is what I have seen and perceived in the portrayals of Aziraphale and Crowley that Michael and David have given us. I absolutely do 100% believe that asexual folks deserve representation--representation that is clear and specific, not just a side effect of Neil not wanting to show these characters expressing outward sexual desires--but I do not believe that is how Michael and David are playing the characters. It's not enough--or at least it shouldn't be--to have characters of marginalized backgrounds just standing in the room, or to say, "This one's gay," "This one's nonbinary," "This one's asexual." Including these identities in the fabric of the story means doing what Michael and David have done, which is showing these people or beings as three-dimensional, as fully realized characters who happen to have that identity, rather than as ticked boxes representing a certain identity on a checklist.

And to the Anons mentioning the Radio Times article (which seems like it came out a hundred years ago now)--Anon #4 particularly--I appreciate you sharing your thoughts with me, but I could not disagree with you more.

First of all, I have no idea where in the world you got that Aziraphale and Crowley's romance was explicit in season 1, because it was absolutely anything but. Three days after they posted that, RT posted another article seemingly backtracking on everything they'd previously said (as if we'd all somehow pulled a Gabriel Jim and forgotten everything about the first article). The phrase "Could romance be on the cards after all?" is in the bloody headline of article #2, which to me says that RT is going to go in whichever direction the wind blows--to create engagement and generate clicks--but also that it is very clear what they meant by "conventional" in the first article. I do not get the feeling that Radio Times--a mainstream publication that seemingly publishes any story they can farm from social media--was thinking of ace or aro identities or relationships when writing that. Even a tiny little bit.

Even a queer-centric media outlet like Pride today published an article saying the first season of GO lacked LGBTQ+ representation. Obviously, I do not at all agree with this or with several other things mentioned in the article. But what I am challenging folks to do is think about what this is really saying. By the end of GO 1 season, everyone accepts and assumes that Madame Tracy and Shadwell are a couple. She makes eyes at him, they have dinner together, and no one questions them being a couple, even though they are not shown being physically affectionate. Aziraphale and Crowley do exactly the same things, but no one (speaking of the larger public, outside the hardcore fan base) assumes they are a couple.

Maybe what that means, then, is that "representation" that requires you to squint and turn your head in order to see it--like Aziraphale and Crowley holding hands on the bus--isn't really representation at all. And by Neil "not wanting to label" something, it seems to suggest that committing to a label or embracing that gayness is something he is not comfortable with--for any number of reasons--and is why we could have a meaningless love scene with a straight couple that does not have a real connection (Newt and Anathema), but couldn't have a meaningful love scene with a gay couple that does have a devastatingly profound and powerful connection.

So yes, those are my thoughts on the angels and demons in Good Omens being non-sexual, and what that means in a larger cultural/societal sense. I know that when GO season 2 comes out in a week, I could be proven completely wrong about everything I've just said, and I will have no problem with that at all. I fully trust what Michael and David will bring to the roles of Aziraphale and Crowley, but my hesitation stems from the limitations they will potentially be up against, in terms of the script/storyline (and is something I have felt from the interviews we've seen with them this past week).

I'm hopeful for the best, though (as always), so we'll just have to see what happens...

#anonymous #reply post #good omens 2 #good omens #aziraphale #crowley #ineffable husbands #michael sheen #welsh seduction machine #david tennant #soft scottish hipster gigolo #creators are not perfect #I think Neil may have some internalized homophobia he is still dealing with tbh #but people are afraid to call him out in any way #and this was me trying to keep my response short #probably going to have to turn off anons for a bit while i answer the rest #dealing with RL stuff at the moment so a bit backed up #discourse

[aleksa-sims]

My RL Sims-Story (18+)

CW: addiction, drugs

This morning Philip called me and told me, he has been home for a few days. He will stay here for the next 4 weeks. He has come to see his baby. Slowly he began to accept, that he has a little daughter now, he has to take care of. Philip seemed to me ok and relaxed about all this, but....he wasn’t! He was overwhelmed! Just with everything! And he did something, he didn’t want to! It was about Isabella 😒 .....I wish I’d stayed with him, but... I couldn’t!! I just wasn’t able to deal with P.’s problems and his baby!! I mean, look at me! I was a drug-addicted disaster!!  I was high! I could hardly stand on my feet that day.  Before I went to P., I saw that guy Mike. My new dealer.

I met him alone somewhere in a park in the dark. I bought the usual stuff, but Mike gave me something else, something new! He wanted me to try, but I wanted to show it to Daniel first. Speaking of D.! He didn’t know about all this! He started working again. His summer vacation was over and when he went to work, Philip called me. That’s why I couldn’t tell Daniel, but...I will! �� Actually, I shouldn’t have gone to Philip! I know! 🤦‍♀️ But Isabella that beast! 😠 Of course, she told Philip that I have a new boyfriend. But honestly? I knew Isabella would tell him. Still, Philip wanted some answers from me, which I owed him, I think. 😔

When I stood in front of P.’s door, I wanted to turn back for a short moment.😢

But before I could change my mind, Philip opened the door and hugged me as soon as he saw me.

He asked me if everything was okay with me? I had to take a deep breath before I could answer him. Normally, I would make jokes about Philip’s hair, because he told me on the phone, that he got his hair cut, but somehow that hairstylist screwed it up a bit. I just told him I was dizzy and had to drink water, so we went to the kitchen.

Philip quickly realized what was going on! I was high and not really thirsty, which is why he got a little.... crabby, but not only because of that! He wanted to know, who my new.......lover 🤨 was. 

Me: Don’t look at me like that! 😳 I know what you’re thinking! I can hear your thoughts.

Philip: Then you know we need to talk! Seeing you like.... THIS, depresses me!! 😠

Me: I'm so strung out! Idk what to say? 😞

Philip: Who is he? 😠 After such a short time! How could you? 🤦‍♂️ 😔

Me: You broke up with me! Just like Nico! I was hardly over him and only a short time after that, you hurt me too! You, like, totally blew me off. You said I was your biggest mistake! 😞

Philip: I never said this to YOU! I meant Nico, you & me!

Me: You were so mad and pissed, that you don’t know what you said to me! But I didn’t get it out of my mind! And I was done with you, P.! 🤷‍♀️....But then, one day, you suddenly came back to me, as if nothing had happend and wanted me to forgive you! And I forgave you! But I couldn’t tell you that.....I was already starting to date someone new. Someone, who has become very important to me in the meantime and without him, I would be much worse off now!... When Isabella told me it was your baby, I just didn’t want to wait for you to come back to me and hope you won’t forget me. But he-,..he was there! By my side, all the time.

Philip: But you promised me as soon as I’m done with my semester abroad, we’ll be together! I mean-, yea, I knew you were going to see someone else, we didn’t want to talk about this topic! But we made a promise! Can you keep this, A.? 😠

Me: I-..I don’t know what the future will bring? I don’t know what will be in 8 months. But I will always be there, if you need me! I promised you that and I will keep it. 😟

Philip: And what if that smack kills you? 😠 🤷‍♂️ What should I do then? You think this will help me? Knowing that I just looked away? Because it seems to me, that’s what you and your new lover do together, right? You expect me to watch you destroy yourself.

Me: Don’t say that! 😢 ...  I swear, I will quit drugs! I just... need a little more time! 😟

Philip: It’s Dominick!😠 That fucker! He gets you that shit, that’s why your parents went crazy.

Me: Dominick? 🤨 Ew, NO!! 🤢 ...Ugh, P.! It’s-..... Daniel! 😬... I know, I know! But, please P.! Believe me! He is not bad! I know he was acting like a jerk when we first ran into him,, but even then, you started threatening him and not the other way around.

Philip: Damn, A.! 🤦‍♂️ Daniel? 😠 I still know how he wanted to lure you with his damn drugs. He's just using you! I could read it all over his face. How he looked at you! 😠 As if you were exactly what he was looking for. I just knew it! That’s why I freaked out when he texted you. I was right about him!!.... I’m gonna kill him! 😠 😠

Me: 🤨... I see, telling you about him, was probably not such a good idea?......That’s why I didn’t tell you!! And Daniel doesn’t give me drugs, hell! 😠 😠 I wanted all this, Philip! Not him! He doesn’t have to give me drugs to sleep with me. I, wanted to sleep with him! I just wanted to forget what was with YOU! 😒 

Philip: Fuck, A.! Don’t you love me anymore? 🙁 🤷‍♂️

Me: Would I be here, if I didn’t love you? 😟

Philip: Then leave him and stay here! With me! As it should be! I know, I have to leave soon again, but we’ll find a solution, or I’ll just stay here with you.

Me: We’ve already discussed this, Philip! So many times! 😩 It just doesn’t work! Besides, you promised Isabella something! And I can’t leave Daniel! 

Philip: 🤦‍♂️... Let’s-... let’s talk about your dad. Why the hell did he kick you out?

Me: You know why! 😭

Philip: Shit!... Come here. No matter what happens, you can always come to me. I’ll give you the key to my apartment.

Me: No, please don’t! 😨 I don’t trust myself!.... Without you, I don’t want to stay here........ I just can’t! 🤦‍♀️ Can we please stop talking for a while😢

Philip: Come on, let’s move to the couch.😟

Philip & his Baby....

After we both calmed down a bit, Philip told me how it was when he met his baby. He was extremely nervous, but when he had his little girl in his arms, he could finally feel it and also believe, that she is his. He could not describe or explain it exactly......He just remembered his dad’s words, which he said to him a few hours before that... P. 's Dad asked him, if he could raise a baby all by himself or would he like to do this with Isabella? After all, the little one has everything she needs and grows up with rich people. So if he doesn’t want all this, he should just.... let it be and let fate decide what will happen. But Philip didn’t want to be like his dad! 💙... He abandoned him for years, for the same reason!! His dad was only 21 at the time, just like Philip was when he had a baby. 

The next day, with the help of his mom, Philip made room for his little one, here, in his apartment and also bought her a bed. Later Isabella came with their little one and Philip learned some important things about babies. His mom showed him how to wrap her, how to prepare her bottle and what else to take care of. Isabella was not really interested in all this. She knew already how it worked, so she just took selfies of herself, Philip & the baby. And of course she also posted her pics and even sent me a pic. Idk why she did this??🤦‍♀️ However, Philip’s baby spent some days with him and as I mentioned at the beginning, he seemed relaxed and....happy to me 😕 🤷‍♀️, but the truth was completely different.  He was totally overwhelmed.

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#ts4 #sims 4 #sims 4 story #my rl with my simself #simself #myrlgameplay #18+ content #cw addiction #cw drugs

[dangermousie]

CFC Chapter 54

“A crashing car?” Ahahahaha I see you, Meatbun. But it was indeed an utter pileup!

I know I commented on this passage in its various iterations eight billion times already but I still have more to say. And it’s that XQC taking so long to realize that even though HY is young, his emotions and feelings are as genuine and strong as those of anyone older is so realistic - people do tend to think that especially with regard to children - think of a reaction of an adult to a three year old crying over ice cream they dropped. It’s all amused even if not meanly so. Because to an adult with vastly more experience, this is not a big deal. But what that forgets is that whether it’s ridiculous to someone else or not, to the person at issue that is a real feeling, AND that of course a person can only feel through the lens of their experience - what else is there? Emotions aren’t any less valid because they are informed by lesser or different experience.

Honestly, to me so far this is one of the driving messages of the novel - everyone is in their own world of issues and pain and none of these characters can truly look through the lens of another person and it would be so much better if they did. To XQC, for so long, He Yu’s strong feelings (and we know so many of these feelings are awful - despair, and self-loathing, and loneliness) never quite felt real and therefore never quite felt fully valid. And by the time it wasn’t the case, it was too late.

But the same is true for He Yu - he is so concentrated on his own grievances and his own pain, he cannot perceive others’ different issues. In He Yu’s mind, he’s the winner and always champion of Misery Olympics and while he’s had a horrible time of it, that doesn’t mean other people didn’t either just in different ways. Whether because of his condition, his issues or just his age, HY is not empathetic in the least.

And think about it - XQC does not have a horrible illness. He does not have unfeeling parents. But he had to watch his beloved parents brutally murdered in front of his eyes at 13 (!!!!) and then had to raise a 5 year old by himself. Is it worse or better than HY’s trauma? That’s a matter of opinion but what there is no question about is that is a different type of trauma and a different type of scar. Or think about the patient in the asylum whose name I am too lazy to look up - her life is such a theater of horrors that to me, it makes the combined issues of HY and XQC seem small, though once again that’s subjective. Nobody wins when people start this sort of competition.

My heart breaks for XQC but also - I am sorry - if/when HY x XQC hook up again (how? I have no idea! But that is one of the joys of Meatbun - I both have no idea how/where it’s going and utterly trust her), please have He Yu read up and learn things because Good God. You should not be in major pain the morning after unless you are into pain and XQC clearly is not!

The other thing is the bit about XQC forcing himself to walk in his usual ramrod-straight manner is the moment I went utterly gone for him. I mean, I liked him and found him interesting before. But this is the thing that flipped that invisible switch for me and I went rabid and irrational and now I am Team XQC and I don’t care what he wants and does from now on, he should have it. It’s so small but so real. My mother and her mother were both big on straight posture. And one of the reasons they gave was when you walk with good posture - you look confident but also it makes you feel confident and stronger. And I’ve actually found it to be true - when you throw your shoulders back and straighten your neck and hold your head up, it does not just give others a signal, it gives a signal to your own brain. So to see XQC insist on doing it, despite being emotionally and physically shattered - because of his pride refusing to give up, because he’s so unbending, but also this being some sort of instinctive armor, just hits straight through the heart.

OK, I laughed at HY as a fucking machine. But also, this is another point in the whole “everyone has issues” narrative and HY’s life could be worse. HY, with all his other issues, can pay an insane amount, an amount that XQC could not pay in a million years, so easily. It’s not even a blip to him. Hell, the fact that he forgot to pay speaks to that - I can see forgetting to pay a friend a couple of bucks back right away because it’s not much money. HY forgets because it does not loom in his mind. And this rich lifestyle is instinctive, is ingrained in him. I think he’d find it hard to be poor.

THAT is what he’s thinking about? Priorities are...

The sole good thing that came out of this insanity is that XQC is getting in touch with his emotions, even if those emotions are (rightly) rage. He’s too closed off from them normally.

The fact that you slept with a man should be secondary to the fact that you drugged and raped him, but here we are...

To me, this sums up He Yu as a moral wasteland. To still, when sober and past his fit and not under influence of wine, to still feel excitement over his revenge and to somehow twist it that it’s XQC’s fault for being raped by He Yu is !!!!!!!!!

(I suppose if I were charitable, I’d assume that the disquiet is small stirrings of almost dead conscience and his “he deserved it” is an attempt to justify the unjustifiable to himself, but I honestly don’t want to think so because I am so angry at him. Not until I see some more evidence. I don’t feel like being indulgent with He Yu since he’s indulgent with himself enough for two.)

1. The fact that you can tell from the picture XQC got taken by a man (I am gonna defer to Meatbun’s expertise here) definitely points to the fact that the pictures are going to be used for something bad later - because if it’s just oh XQC had sex, so what, he’s single what’s the big deal. But like this it becomes a different matter. No idea if it will be used for HY or XQC or both, and by whom (money is on Duan and co, but after the way HY went off, I would never say HY himself won’t use it badly somehow) but knowing Meatbun, it will go for maximum damage.

2. Ruthless? Perhaps. Unfeeling? Hmmmm. I am not He Yu’s biggest fan atm but that’s a wonderfully misleading adjective here. He does still seem to be in shock. And fixating.

3. The whole “hahahaha XQC is a hypocrite when he was all ‘I am not interested in sex’“ is - I am not sure if HY is just short-circuiting (fine) or using a rapist justification/rolling in a sea of toxic toxicity (not fine) because I am sorry, that’s totally like “he/she had a reaction, can’t be rape” writ large. Yeah, sure he had a reaction - you poured drugs down his throat. That has nothing to do with his default preferences or his actual state. THE FUCK?!

Anyway, we end on the whole “u mad bro?” bit and you know what strikes me? HY was all “I am done, we are done, my revenge is complete I don’t care” but here he is, still desperately seeking and craving reaction and interaction from XQC.

I remain utterly puzzled as to how these two will ever be a couple except for a couple being defined as “two mutually homicidal people.” Leaving aside everything else, I am willing to accept HY is in the closet - clearly whatever his orientation is, it includes men. But I do not get that sense from XQC at all. When he’s not drugged, he’s barely interested in sex with anyone and I do not get the sense he’s in the closet either. Chances of anyone, let alone He Yu, who is both a man and someone who raped him to humiliate him, being able to entice him into sexual encounters voluntarily is about the chance of me going to visit Mars. Meatbun loves doing insane things so I can’t wait.

PS I know people use the term psychopath all the time casually but ummm, I think He Yu may actually be one? When he has his father (!!!) on speakerphone, calmly carrying a conversation with the man as he’s raping his father’s friend in the club as he talks (!!!!!) that is...in RL I’d be “team lock him up for life, there is something so basic broken in him that it can’t be fixed.” Like - the hell? The ability to put things on different shelves so much is not in the same country as sane (it makes me think of 2ha and TXJ banging CWN being the curtain while performing court business but TXJ was bona fide clinically insane and also this is worse because this is his actual freaking father omg.) Of course, only time will tell whether it’s evidence of him being irreparably incapable of normalcy in terms of living in the world/interacting with others or it was an extreme psychotic (in casual parlance not medical one) break because most people are capable of truly horrific stuff if certain levers are pushed and his default is saner. It’s the question, isn’t it? Whether He Yu’s factory default setting is the monster of the previous chapters or the kid who’d cut his wrists so as not to hurt others.

Anyway, this novel is a terrifying roller coaster ride and I love having strong emotions.

#cnovel #meatbun doesn't eat meat #case file compendium

[florrickandassociates]

TGF Thoughts: 5x06- And the two partners had a fight...

I’ve been waiting for this episode for nearly a decade, and I didn’t even realize it. More under the cut. 

(This is very long! Please fight me on stuff and disagree because I just wrote all these words about this episode and I STILL want to talk about it more, it was that interesting!) 

This is the second episode in a row to start off with a TikTok video. 5x02 and 5x03 both ended with elevators. Is there some sort of pattern they’re going for here?  

This case—which is, it’s important to note, in Wackner’s court—is about TikTok content creators and copyright laws. Probably not enough material for a full case, but definitely an interesting theme to explore.

Marissa doesn’t have her laptop volume off (which I suppose makes sense; she was just playing the TikTok videos) and a notification sounds. She shuts the laptop.

Wackner rules that the profits made from the TikTok dance must be split evenly between the guy who stole the dance for his video game and the creator. The thief does not like this, removes his moose costume (oh, yeah, did I mention they’re in costumes again?), and starts shouting that he’s going to sue and then moons the whole court. Okay!

He follows through on his threat, and next thing we know, Liz, Cord, Wackner, and Marissa are meeting to discuss strategy.

Liz’s computer makes the same noise Marissa’s did; she punches some keys.

Liz points out that Wackner’s biggest problem is that real judges are not going to like Wackner playacting as a judge. “I’m not playing a judge. I am a judge,” Wackner says. Liz notes that Wackner’s court lacks any way of forcing people to comply with his rulings, but real court can shut him down.

I guess whatever keys Liz punched did not silence the annoying notification sound.

She asks Wackner to try not to become the focus of the court case, since that’s how they’ll lose. “This is why I started a court,” Wackner says after Liz instructs him to only answer yes or no and to wear a suit.  

Liz asks Marissa to keep Wackner in line. She says she’ll try.

Now we are at the Black Lawyers Association, where there’s a panel with leaders from Chicago’s four top black law firms. For reasons passing understanding, DIANE is on this panel. This makes absolutely no sense (I mean, unless only white people were involved in this decision, and even then!) and I’ll only excuse it because they mention later that it makes no sense for Diane to have been on this panel.  

I wonder why everyone else’s firm gets named but not Diane’s.  

Diane also gets the first question, which is, pointedly, about opportunities for black lawyers. Her phone starts making the annoying notification sound. Ever heard of silent mode??  

The annoying sound happens every five seconds at the RL offices. According to David Lee, it happens twenty times an hour, but it seems like more than that! He, for some reason, goes to Carmen to ask how to stop the sound. He also wants to know what it is. Carmen explains that it is “Dawnk” which is a new messaging system within the company.  

On Dawnk, you can talk about anything you want and be anonymous. Who approved this?! In one frame, I can see there’s someone complaining about someone being promoted too fast because of “the future is female bs.” In another, someone is upset that they are anonymous and wants to use their real name (only Jay, who is otherwise absent from this episode, seems to have figured out how to turn this anon mode off).

Sorry, before I can get on board with this plot, I just need to note for the record how phenomenally stupid the idea of using anonymous messaging software within a company is. This was obviously not going to end well! It’s like workplace YikYak... (remember YikYak?!)  

David Lee hates the idea of a messaging software; Carmen says the associates prefer this.  

Jay is being very nice in the chat and defends the person who was promoted “too fast”.

“Who’s ‘Anonymous Crab’?” David Lee asks. Well, I think the fact they are “anonymous” should be a bit of a hint there, David.  

Anonymous Crab asks, “How the hell did this happen??! How did Diane end up at a Black Conference speaking for our firm?” Good question, Anonymous Crab.

Anon Crab also shares a video and David Lee doesn’t understand how to press play. Carmen plays it for him. Diane looks really awful on the panel. No shit! David Lee seems to enjoy Diane looking bad, even though he should be able to connect the dots between Diane looking bad and potential for bad things to come for the firm...  

Not only does Diane get quizzed about why she’s running a firm that is still insisting on calling itself a black firm, she also gets questions about her insurrectionist husband. “He was completely cleared of those charges,” Diane notes. Oh, hey!!!!! Remember how last week I said I’d be more surprised if that was the end of the FBI nonsense than if it continued? I am surprised!! And relieved. Mostly relieved. Dealing with the consequences of that high profile, relationship-straining ordeal is so much more interesting to me than any FBI machinations.  

Next Diane is asked if Kurt just took a job to revitalize the NRA. She hasn’t heard of this yet. I’m glad she’s getting grilled on this stuff... it is about time.  

There’s a hint that Carmen will be representing Mr. Rapey next week. I assume that’s why there’s a line where David checks in with Carmen on Mr. Rapey’s case?  

Anon Platypus says, “I heard she didn’t even have seniority. She just jumped past other black partners to become our name partner. It’s crazy!!!” Anon Platypus is correct—technically. Diane was a name partner at one of Chicago’s top firms before joining RL, so while she skipped the line... that doesn’t seem to me like the PRIMARY issue in bringing her on. The primary issue is that bringing on someone that senior from outside the company is more similar to a merger than a promotion, and Diane’s partnership meant changes for the firm.  

Other anonymous animals also don’t like Diane. One calls her clueless; another says that “Liz needs to do something about this.” Someone responds to that, “Liz will never do it on her own,” which is an interesting sentiment I want to come back to in a little bit.  

“What is Black Twitter?” David Lee asks Liz out of the blue. “People on Twitter who are black and talk to each other,” Liz responds. David Lee asks how he can find it. “I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you,” Liz jokes. And to think Jay said Liz wasn’t funny!  

The Dawnk conversation shifts and now everyone’s ragging on Julius for representing Kurt and just generally being a Trump voter. There’s a lot of heated and racial language I’m not going to type here, enough to make Julius spit out his coffee and storm down to the associate floor.

He goes to Devin, who I’m not sure if we’ve seen before but is high ranking enough to have Lucca’s old office, to get information on the anonymous posts.

Anonymous Bison says, “Unpopular opinion: I blame Adrian.” Hey, Anon Bison, let’s be friends! I am with you. Adrian is the one who brought Diane on, who encouraged them to lean into Julius’s Trump connections, and who pushed the firm to pursue profit over everything else. Diane and Julius aren’t blameless (though I don’t actually think defending Kurt is a bad thing) but if there’s someone who actively strategized to make RL what it is today? Adrian all the way.  

In what world does noting that Julius is pissed in an anonymous message do ANYTHING to stop people who are pissed at him? If they were that concerned about him being pissed they wouldn’t have said anything in the first place.  

Liz and opposing counsel talk over each other in court until the judge makes them stop. I think we’ve seen both the judge and opposing counsel this season, making me wonder if there’s a bit of a COVID bubble situation going on here with the guest stars.  

Judge Farley jokes about “contempt cards” that go up in value and Wackner, of course, is all, “Wow, I really love that.”  

Liz, whose entire strategy was to not let on that anyone calls Wackner a judge, refers to Wackner as “Judge Wackner.” Come on, Liz! (I buy that she’d slip up—there's no one in the world I wouldn’t believe slipping up—but ugh!)  

How did the opposition not realize that they could make this about Wackner’s “crazy court” by referring to him as Judge Wackner? You’d think they’d be all over that.  

Judge Farley looks SO unhappy that Wackner would refer to himself as a judge; it’s phenomenal.  

Now Marissa stumbles over stuff because she’s, for some reason, speaking in court. I bought Liz’s dumb moment more.  

The plaintiff’s strategy is to make it look like Wackner is of unsound mind, and they’ve got video evidence. Remember how Del, Cord, and Wackner all chatted in the RL elevator? Well, turns out that lead to a reality show about Wackner for Del’s streaming service. Sounds about right.  

I don’t really think Wackner cares about attention or anyone else’s motivations... I think he just likes the idea of budget and an audience and a platform.  

Liz meets Del for a romantic dinner and asks him when he was going to tell her about Wackner’s show. Del doesn’t understand why she’s upset. He doesn’t get why he would’ve needed her permission to go into business with Wackner. (I don’t think he’s wrong from a business POV, but from a relationship POV, he totally should’ve let her know!)  

Liz says he should’ve asked because they’re using it against her in court. “That is unfortunate, baby, but this streaming show could be really good for Wackner. It’ll draw attention to his court. And... as I say that...that sounds... okay, look I’m sorry,” Del realizes. I like that he sees that Liz has a point. He goes on to note that he would be totally open to Liz trying to go into business with any of his acquaintances, and I think he genuinely means it.  

Del notes that this is what “power couples” do. Oh? So they’re an official couple? Don’t power couples also associate in public and not hide their relationship from their colleagues?  

This is the place where I note, yet again, that it is always going to be more interesting to see a relationship that feels realistic than to see a relationship that feels like it takes place in a vacuum.  

Liz doesn’t want Wackner becoming popular. Del argues someone else would’ve made the show if he didn’t, and that “disrupters gotta disrupt.” Oh God.  

Are we going to remember that Liz has a child at any point this season?  

Diane is reading the Dawnk discussion at home. It’s still lively even after work hours. The associates appear to be discussing the vaccine before someone changes the topic to “the Diane situation.”

One associate notes that the partners probably aren’t happy about Diane either and just have to vote her out. Kurt arrives home as Diane reads this, reacts to the loud music Diane has playing, the open alcohol, and her general demeanor and asks if they’re getting drunk. “Are we getting a job with the NRA?” she counters.  

Turns out it’s not entirely untrue about Kurt and the NRA. They want him for a new role. It would pay $167,000. I can’t decide if I think that’s a lot (objectively that’s a high salary) or not very much at all (isn’t Kurt the top of his field?)  

Kurt notes he doesn’t have a job so he’s considering it. “Diane, our politics are very different,” he starts. “I know,” Diane says. “I’m, lately, struck by just how different they are.”

“I would just like one week when I don’t have to defend you,” Diane says in frustration. Kurt doesn’t even know what that means at the current moment.  

“You’ll tell me when they offer you the job?” Diane asks. “They may not offer it,” Kurt says. “No, they will,” Diane says, because she knows that it’s basically a done deal already.  

In the middle of the night, Diane turns to Kurt and tries to ask him a question. That wakes him up. She asks who he voted for in 2020 and he doesn’t answer. Uh oh.  

Dreaming now, Diane sits up and asks, “Hello? What do I do?” More on that later...

The HR nightmare known as Dawnk is still going wild the next day at the office. (Seriously, with HR that strict, the anon feature would’ve been disabled the second the first semi-controversial comment was posted.) Everyone’s obsessed.  

The partners, minus Diane, all gather in Liz’s office to discuss Dawnk (and the topics of conversation on Dawnk). Madeline says they should ignore it. I say they should make STR Laurie shut it down and be the bad guy. It is nonsensical that this workplace would continue to allow Dawnk to continue! In addition to being an HR nightmare, it’s also a drain on productivity if everyone’s constantly glued to it, and I imagine STR Laurie cares about profit more than anything else.  

But like I really don’t get why Madeline says they can’t censor their associates. Of course they can shut down the app if they want to! Someone put the app there in the first place, no? I do understand not wanting to look like you’re violating free speech (even though taking away anonymous commenting in the workplace would not be a violation of free speech) but I highly doubt it would be only the partners complaining. Tina, whose promotion was called into question, would be complaining too. Anyone trying to get work done, or anyone who didn’t like the toxic culture, or anyone who was uncomfortable with a joke made, would be complaining. There are more than enough reasons it would be perfectly acceptable to take the anon commenting away.

Now the partners are fighting about Kurt’s case too. “Diane is not responsible for her husband,” Liz says when Madeline says that Diane should’ve known better than to get involved. Um, Liz, Madeline is right. Diane isn’t responsible for Kurt’s actions but she’s sure as hell responsible for volunteering to represent him.  

“In the real world of this firm, Diane’s billable hours speak for themselves,” Liz notes when a partner tries to call Diane’s unsavory associations into question.  

“The rest of us put in the hours too, for the record,” notes another partner. I’m sure... but do you put in DIANE’S hours and have DIANE’S client list? My guess is no. If Diane weren’t the biggest earner at the firm we wouldn’t be having this debate. She’d just be gone. She’d never have been at the firm to begin with.  

“Liz, when I joined this firm, it was because of your father’s legacy. It was about Black civil rights, activism, justice. That’s what people talked about in meetings. Now, people talk about billable hours, million-dollar clients, corporate payouts. Now, I know it’s not your fault. That was Boseman’s vision and we were trying to survive the Trump years by bringing in white lawyers, but those days are gone. They’re done with. And I miss being a strong black firm,” Madeline says. Everyone but Liz (and probably Julius) seems to agree with that.

This is one of many interesting facets of this issue. When Madeline argues against Diane, she’s not just arguing that she wants a black person running the firm for optics. She’s not saying that Diane-but-black would be an acceptable choice. She is saying she wants RL to be the firm it was at the very very start of the show—a firm committed to social justice, not maximizing revenue. A firm that didn’t just accept every client that came their way because they love profit. A firm that stood for something. So my question is: Does Liz want that firm?  

Liz is hard to read throughout this whole plot, and I think that may be intentional. Liz isn’t a manager by training—she was an AUSA who suddenly became a name partner at a firm (if you want to talk about seniority and skipping the line, Liz is a way better example than Diane—you can even through some nepotism, twice over, in there). She doesn’t seem to have a clear goal for her firm other than maintaining the status quo and keeping power. Liz not taking a stronger stance from the start (either accepting that they are no longer going to be a social justice-oriented firm or pushing to get them back to that place) allows these kinds of questions to fester. It’s my hope that this becomes text instead of subtext pretty soon, ‘cause this is the kind of thing that if it’s subtext for too long will start to feel like bad writing/Liz being conveniently clueless. It’s way more interesting if Liz is just not yet good at being a manager... because she is learning on the job.  

Anyway. I think the ideal solution here is probably that Diane and Liz continue to run RL: A STR Laurie Company (the fact they’re owned by corporate overlords kind of makes any decision about RL’s mission moot) since Diane wants to do that and Liz seems to be content where she is. Madeline and the other partners, instead of trying to force STRL to let them pursue the cases they want, can accept pay cuts and go start their own firm. Maybe they can even team up with Barbara Kolstad!  

None of that’s to say that the dilemma here is easily solvable, nor is it to say that Diane shouldn’t consider stepping down. I’ll say more on that later. My point here is just that this issue is much deeper than just if Diane is on the letterhead or not. As long as they’re owned by STR Laurie and have clients like Rivi, Diane stepping aside would just be a band-aid.  

(And that, I think, is intentional... they’ve been building the “why are we even representing x?” tension pretty consistently this season, so I imagine it’s on the writers’ minds.)  

Diane stumbles across the secret partner’s meeting and knows something’s up.  

“You gotta handle this, Liz. You cannot have a white partner leading a black firm. We’ll lose clients with that kind of hypocrisy” Madeline insists after Diane heads back to her office. I’ve already said it, but just to say it in a less rambly way: Madeline is right, but she’s right IF AND ONLY IF the goal is to be a black firm. So, Liz, is it?  

(They’ll lose clients, sure, but which ones? They’ll lose the clients Madeline wants while Diane continues to keep bringing in business and Rivi and Cord and Wolfe-Colman and their elk* stay put.)  

*I know this is not the correct word; see 6x17 of TGW

David Lee has also noticed the meeting in Liz’s office and thinks this may be the “beginning of the end.” Diane glares at him and he says he was just joking.

Diane schedules a meeting with Liz. Liz’s assistant doesn’t know Diane by voice, adding to her frustration.

Credits! We are 22 minutes in! This might be a record if 5x01 hadn’t saved the credits til the very end!  

I’ve already written more than I did last week by a couple hundred words.  

Two interesting things about the credits. First, this episode was written by Aurin Squire. Forgive me if I’ve mentioned this in a prior recap (I know I thought about it but can’t remember if I deleted), but I think Aurin Squire and Davita Scarlett are key to why TGF and Evil are both always so good. They’re the two writers other than the Kings who are in both the TGF and Evil rooms, and they both REALLY seem to be on the same wavelength as the Kings. I imagine that having four people who are in both rooms helps with managing both at basically the same time.  

(This isn’t where I wanted to go with this bullet point, but I may as well shout out how great Evil is this season, too! It also just aired an episode by Aurin Squire about the lead white female character realizing her privilege!)  

Second, this episode was directed by Brooke Kennedy. I didn’t know that going in, but seconds before the director credit popped up, I was thinking to myself, “this episode feels like it’s going to be a very important one. I bet Brooke directed it.” I was very pleased to see her name appear.  

(For anyone who doesn’t know, Brooke is an EP who’s been involved in nearly every episode of both Wife and Fight and she tends to direct important episodes that require a lot of familiarity with the characters. She directed 5x15 of The Good Wife and she’s done a bunch of the premieres and finales that Robert King hasn’t claimed for himself.)  

Diane and Liz meet in a bar to catch up. Diane’s still staring at Dawnk. Liz takes her phone and silences the notifications. “Who thought that sound was pleasing?” Diane complains. “All day in court today,” Liz commiserates. Carmen had to teach her how to silence the notifications. Liz, you’re using an iPhone, there is a very easy to use switch that silences your phone, like you would need to for court. I know you know this.  

(I think Diane, despite her complaining about the sound, is captivated by Dawnk.)  

Liz orders soda water instead of a drink. I assume that’s intentional, perhaps because she knows this isn’t going to be an easy conversation or a long night of drinking? She has wine in an earlier scene.  

I love that Liz and Diane chat about Dawnk even though there’s no real plot reason for them to spend this much time discussing it. Little moments like this make me believe Liz and Diane are actually colleagues who get along well and make management decisions together.  

Diane asks if Liz thinks Dawnk actually increases productivity. Liz laughs—she does not. But she knows the associates would “riot” if they got rid of it. She’s right. I still think they can get rid of it without too much blowback. But at least they’re acknowledging this.  

“What do the partners think?” Diane asks, very intentionally shifting the subject. You can hear it in Christine’s voice and see it in her body language—Diane is looking for an opportunity to talk about what she wants to talk about.

“God, Madeline can’t even open it. She’s lost her password three times. She finally just gave up,” Liz says. This is concerning! Madeline should know how to open an app! Probably not unrealistic, though. When you’re that senior, you probably don’t need to know how to use a messaging app. And messaging apps can be confusing sometimes. Like, I still don’t understand how to use Discord.  

The captions have a line I can’t hear in this scene—Liz (I presume?) saying “You know, ‘cause it’s Madeline.” This makes it sound like Madeline is a little less than competent, no?  

“Thanks for sitting down with me, Liz,” Diane says in a quite serious tone. “Of course. So, you’re wondering about the meeting today?” Liz immediately understands. “I am.” “Yeah. Uh, it was about Julius. He’s being harassed on Dawnk,” Liz explains.

“Okay, and I couldn’t be a part of that?” Diane wants to know. “He’s being harassed because he’s defending your husband,” Liz explains. Diane doesn’t seem surprised (perhaps because she, too, would have read these messages?). “Well, that’s unfortunate. We’ve represented people far worse than Kurt, who, by the way, was found innocent,” Diane argues like they’re having a very different conversation. It’s one thing to represent rapists and murderers and drug lords—and I’d argue that the same people pissed about Kurt are also pissed about them!-- and another for your leadership to be married to/close friends with someone who you believe participated in the events of 1/6.  

“I’m not saying it wasn’t. But, January 6th. I mean, we watched the Confederate flag make its way into the Capitol building. You know, those people that Kurt didn’t want to turn over to the FBI, those people. They don’t even want us alive,” Liz says better than I ever could. I think it’s important that Liz mentions a POV that likely wouldn’t have ever crossed Diane’s mind here. This is a small glimpse of why it could be so important to have black leadership at a black firm. Would Diane be thinking about the implications of having the Confederate flag in the Capitol? Probably not in the same way that Liz instantly does.  

“Well, not all of them,” Diane Lockhart, who is suddenly an idiot, says. Liz looks at her drink and grimaces, and Diane realizes she’s said something wrong. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that. I’m certainly not defending those people. They’re all despicable traitors.”

“And now, that’s what people are saying about Julius,” Liz explains. “And me?” Diane asks, though she already knows the answer. Liz doesn’t want to answer that. Before she can say anything, Diane asks if she’s being pushed out.  

“No. Not pushed out. You’re a name partner. You can’t be pushed out,” Liz clarifies. Diane knows there’s a but. “The partners just think you should do the right thing,” Liz adds.

“And step aside?” Diane asks. “No. Stay in the firm. Stay as an equity partner, just step back from your managerial role,” Liz says. Diane pauses. “Liz, I... I pull in the big clients. I... I get the billable hours. But still, ‘maybe you should step aside.’ Weren’t we going to form a firm led by women?” Diane argues. Oh, wow, I have so much to say.

First, I completely understand why Diane doesn’t want to give up her title or her power. She's Diane Lockhart! She’s been one of the best in her field for decades. She’s not wrong about the clients and billable hours. It’s just that every time Diane decides to be at this firm, making arguments about how she should retain her role in power, she’s saying that she values her own career/appearance more than the values she claims to care about. And every time she refuses to take a back seat or threatens to walk rather than sacrifice, she’s saying she’ll only through her weight behind her colleagues and their mission if she gets credit for it. To be clear, I don’t think it would be the shittiest decision in the world if Diane decided to walk, to take her clients to a new firm and to let RL become the firm Madeline and the rest envision. It’s asking a lot of her to give up that power and prestige. The interesting part of this dilemma is, to me, that Diane claims to value working for RL and to be active in the fight against racism... but the second she’s forced to choose between that fight and her own power, we all know what Diane is going to choose. There was never really any doubt. Diane doesn’t have to be on the forefront of this fight if she doesn’t want to... but she can’t claim to be invested in the fight if she isn’t willing to sacrifice, at all.

Second, LMAO at this firm led by women idea. Every time Diane talks about her firm led by women idea it sounds sillier! Not because a firm led by women is silly, but because Diane has a habit of saying this like it is a shared goal and each time she references it, it sounds less and less intersectional. For example, when she says it here, she’s essentially saying a firm led by women only has meaning if one of those women is a white woman (specifically a white woman named Diane Lockhart). Who’s to say that Madeline wouldn’t be made partner in Diane’s absence? Or Barbara (haha) or someone else we haven’t met? There is a very real possibility that Liz and another woman could run the firm and Diane would still be unhappy about it. Diane doesn’t ask Liz for a commitment that if she does step aside, her replacement would be female (idk if it’s legal to make this commitment but you get my point). Diane acts like asking her to step aside is already a betrayal of the female led firm.  

“And I hope that it will be,” Liz says, basically hinting to Diane that there are women in the world besides her.  

“But black women?” Diane says, agitatedly. “Diane, I... am not voting against you. I promised you that I wouldn’t. But there is growing anger here. They want to address it at the next partners' meeting. So just think about it,” Liz responds.

I think Liz is totally fair and forthcoming in this scene and strikes pretty much the right tone for this initial conversation. She gives Diane a choice and is honest with her.  

“You’re a good person,” Liz adds. Diane does a double-take, understanding that Liz is actually telling her “You are a good person, so you know that you absolutely need to step aside.”  

“No, I’m not!” Diane responds. As I said: Diane already knows what she is going to do. She needs to do mental gymnastics to excuse her actions, but her mind was made up before the question was even raised. (She did warn Liz in 5x01 she was going to fight any attempt to push her out.)

“Yes, you are,” Liz says again. She may as well be saying, “No, don’t try this. Everyone will think you’re in the wrong if you push this.”

Later, at home, Diane is doing some stretches on the floor and groaning. I don’t know if this scene is meant to show her age, but it does remind me that Diane is nearly 70 and started off this show by planning to retire. Retirement doesn’t seem to be an option for her here. (That’s fine by me; she is a workaholic whose career is her life.)

Kurt asks Diane what she wants to do. She says she wants to keep her name on the letterhead and “keep what I fought for.” Heh, I was just re-reading something I wrote about Cary a while ago and I’d pointed out that when Alicia and Cary discuss merging with what’s left of LG, Cary is also concerned about his name on the letterhead because even though he wants to change the world, he also cares about having power. It’s almost like Diane and Cary are really similar characters! (They are! That’s why the Diane/Cary moment in Hitting the Fan is so good!)  

Diane calls her position as name partner a fight against “gender and then age discrimination.” She isn’t wrong, especially when you consider how meaningful it likely was when she and Stern went into business together. It’s very easy for me to forget that when Diane has such an attachment to fighting for white women’s rights, it’s not just because she’s out of touch and selfish: it’s because that was something she personally had to fight for. That doesn’t make it okay that she seems to forget the concept of intersectionality (which she’s definitely aware of) the second anything challenges her own power, but it does explain why a firm run by women is so important to her.

Diane is not wrong that she deserves name partnership and she’s not wrong to not want to step aside. Yet, starting a war to retain her position as name partner is a CHOICE. The best thing for Diane to do here (morally, I mean) would be for her to step aside and throw her resources behind the firm’s new leadership, using her experiences and stature to benefit the firm (this would also be a way for her to cement her legacy and mentor a new generation of leaders). The best compromise, I think, would be for someone to leave the current firm—either Diane or the dissenting partners, probably Diane since Liz seems to agree with Madeline—without any hard feelings. The worst possible choice is for Diane to insist that this firm is hers and force every single tension at the firm to come to a head, screwing over Liz in the process and potentially permanently ruining the firm’s status as a black firm. Sooo... yeah.  

(I say it could ruin the firm’s status as a black firm because if Diane’s a white partner who happens to be there and the firm is mostly black, that’s one thing. If Diane is a white partner who fought all of the black partners to assert her own dominance over their firm... that’s hard to come back from. She can’t really call herself an ally, can she?)  

“Diane, this is the first time I’ve ever heard you sound defeated,” Kurt says. “Because I can’t win this,” she says. She insists she can’t even after Kurt tries to cheer her on (of course he does, he probably thinks having an all black firm is just identity politics and therefore worthless).

“You just don’t want to,” Kurt says. He is not wrong. This is a winnable fight for Diane. Liz is smart but Diane has the experience, the clients, the power, and her own reputation to use in this fight. Liz has her dad’s name (and I don’t think it would come to this, but Diane knows how she can pretty easily destroy Liz’s dad’s reputation). (Liz is great, don’t get me wrong. Liz is also someone who happened into a name partnership because her dad was important.)  

“It’s bigger than that. To fight this would go against every fiber of my being,” Diane says. “Every fiber in your being is about winning,” Kurt counters. Oh, damn. That’s a succinct way of putting it. He is completely right. Diane would love to think that every fiber of her being is about her commitment to social justice and women’s rights. It is not. If that were the case, would she really be a lawyer with clients like ChumHum, Bishop, Sweeney, Rivi, and Wolfe-Colman? We all know the answer to this. We all know Diane likes social justice a lot but winning, wealth, and power far more.

When I first watched TGW, now nearly a decade ago, I was a high schooler and my media diet mostly consisted of Desperate Housewives and a bunch of procedurals like Bones and Castle. The thing that hooked me about TGW—more than Alicia’s journey, more than anything—was that TGW never had easy answers to anything. Will tells Diane in 1x07 that “nothing here is pure and nothing here is simple” and that basically blew my mind. TGW always made it obvious that Will was morally gray, which fascinated me. But I struggled with Diane. Here was this woman who looked like she should be someone so impressive and inspirational I could write a college admissions essay about her (I did not, but that was my frame of reference at the time)… but the decisions she made... never seemed all that great?? I couldn’t comprehend it.  

When Blue Ribbon Panel aired in March 2012, I wrote to a friend, “Diane confused me a little bit tonight. She didn’t approve of Alicia standing up to the panel, and yet, she’s supposed to care about people, the truth, morality, etc etc. I never understand Diane’s motivations– is her philosophy to help others whenever it wouldn’t hurt her, personally, to do so?”  

At that point, Diane compromising her values struck me as something confusing because I wanted to think of her as a powerful role model and icon, and I didn’t know what to do with someone who looked like and often was role model material who also sometimes betrayed her values for her own self-interest. I had my analysis of Diane down: she her motivations ARE to help others whenever it wouldn’t hurt her, personally, to do so. All I needed to do was remove my question mark from the end of that thought.  

I promise I’ll move on from quoting myself, but I also want to share a paragraph I wrote about Diane in March 2014 (during season five of Wife) because it says what I want to say now as well as anything I could write today:

Diane is driven and ambitious. Her initial actions can come as the result of intense emotions, but given enough time and space, Diane will always be strategic and pragmatic when it comes to business. She’s spent her entire life putting her career first, and she wouldn’t have it any other way. That she found love is just icing.  Kurt aside, the two most important things to Diane are advancing her own self-interest and doing good in the world. These objectives appear to be a contradiction, and often, they are. Nine times out of ten, when it comes down to it, she’ll choose herself. I mean no judgment here: another central aspect of Diane’s character is that she’s upfront about her choices and stands by them, and this sort of moral ambiguity makes for a great character.  

The reason I quote myself here is not to be like, ha ha, I was right. It's because I think this episode is even more powerful because I can copy/paste in stuff I wrote nine years ago or seven years ago (oh god, 2014 was seven years ago?) verbatim and it can hold up as analysis. Both Fight and Wife have always implied Diane’s selfish side and given more than enough evidence to make a convincing argument about it, but they’ve never really engaged with it directly (and if you ask the social media teams for either show, Diane is a #queen who can never do wrong). This episode interrogates something that’s always been an unpleasant part of Diane’s character, and I’m so fucking glad about it.  

(I don’t think anyone’s accusing Diane of not growing as a person but it crossed my mind that this could be seen as lack of growth. I don’t think it is. I wouldn’t expect Diane to change. Her life and career are so set that growth on this without a LOT of struggle on her part would feel like a cop out.)  

Another reason I quote myself is to highlight how friggin’ character driven this episode is. I’ve seen a lot of people saying this episode felt like old-school TGW—and it absolutely does; that’s also how I felt—and I think that’s because it’s so character focused and meaty.  

But back to this scene. Kurt tells Diane that if she doesn’t try to win she should just give up entirely. Seems like bad advice.  

“Kurt, I appreciate the pep talk, but I don’t think the way you think. I cannot put my interests above a whole group of people—black people—just so I can keep my position.” Sure you can, Diane. You just don’t like to believe that about yourself. You know how Diane says to Kurt earlier that she knows the NRA will offer him the job? That is how I feel about this scene. The writers go to great lengths to explain where Diane’s head is at when she decides to fight for her partnership, but they’d have needed to do ten times more to get me to believe Diane would step aside voluntarily.  

Kurt basically thinks that Diane should fight because if her competition is actually talented enough to deserve name partnership, they should fight her for it. He’s missing the point here.  

“But a black person’s talent has always been valued less than mine,” Diane counters. The fact she knows and understands this makes her decision even less forgivable.  

Kurt knows he’s going to lose this argument and tries the same strategy he did on 5x01: telling Diane she’s right and should just give up and leave the firm. Diane doesn’t like that answer either.  

Given how much I loathed Jay’s hallucinations, I was expecting that when Diane asks Kurt in the middle of the night if he believes the election was stolen and then sits down at her fireplace to have a chat with Ruth Bader Ginsburg, I’d loathe what happened next. I did not! I actually really liked it!  

I think this is more effective than Jay’s hallucinations, at least for me, because it's less gimmicky. It isn’t played for humor or quirk, and it gets to the character-driven point a LOT faster. This feels more similar to Alicia imagining Gloria Steinem is telling her she’s good enough to be on the Supreme Court in 6x03 than it does to Jay’s hallucinations.  

I LOVE that Diane would dream that RBG would advise her on her work dilemma. Dream!RBG tells Diane that “any law firm would be insane to let you go.” (I don’t wanna spend too much time fighting dream logic, but I feel like the operative phrase here is ‘let you go’. Are the RL partners seeing this as letting Diane go? Or are they just trying to get at a different goal and Diane is in the way, and they don’t really care if Diane has top connections or billable hours? It’s almost like the other RL partners want a firm that stands for something and all Diane has stood for thus far at the firm is profit...)  

Diane pushes back on RBG and RBG shares her “real” thoughts. This is where this sequence clicks into place for me, because it’s working on a LOT of levels. Obviously, Diane is going to imagine that her hero tells her to do exactly what she wants to do (the aforementioned mental gymnastics). But without losing the level on which this is dream!RBG and filtered through Diane’s POV, the writers are also... criticizing RBG for not stepping down herself!? It’s fascinating and pointed and makes her the exact right choice to play Diane’s conscience.  

Dream!RBG shares her life story and notes how she was always asked to step aside, but she didn’t and that’s how she got to be RBG. “Don’t step aside because someone wants you to. Don’t step aside for politics. Men are always asking women to step aside so a man can go first,” RBG advises Diane. Even Diane knows that this isn’t exactly equal to her current situation-- “Even though I’m being asked to step aside so that a black person can take my place?” she counters.  

So RBG asks if Diane can still do something “for women” if she says. Diane says yes, and RBG says Diane should do that instead of stepping aside—she should do whatever it takes. That’s the wrong takeaway, Diane! If you want to do something for women then a) you could do something for the black women at your firm lol or b) you could politely remove yourself from the firm, encourage your most profitable clients to stay on if they are wanted by the other partners or and/or c) you could choose to bring your talent and your stature to a non-profit. But, of course, these options aren’t on the table. There’s a reason the options are leave and lose everything or stay and fight for name partnership, and it’s that Diane cares about maintaining control of what she sees as hers and winning more than she cares about anything else, including or even especially her desire to help women.

And also what women is she even helping at RL? Herself? She’s certainly not helping Wolfe-Coleman's rape victim. The closest she’s recently come to helping women is when she told off Weinstein’s lawyer and tried to start #MeToo... in a DREAM.  

The score for the next sequence sounds so familiar and I can’t place it. At first, I thought it was Hitting the Fan, but I’m not sure if that’s the right reference (also, damn, the Hitting the Fan score is REALLY GOOD!). I think it might be similar to 5x14 when Alicia’s pacing back and forth in the hotel room.  

Anyway, Diane starts meeting with her (white, male) clients to tell them about how she’s stepping aside. She hasn’t run this past any of the other partners, of course. She’s doing exactly what they want, in the most malicious and calculated way possible.

One of her clients is a fracking client who wants to win over democrats by being a RL client.  

Diane is so sneaky here! No one said that if Diane steps aside as partner she can’t handle the day to day on her cases... yet that’s what Diane tells this client since she knows it’ll make him mad!  

Diane makes a point of showing her fracking client that his new representation will be Madeline. He doesn’t know anything about Madeline, and, as Diane was likely counting on, he isn’t confident in having a black woman he’s less “comfortable” with on his cases. I don’t know if Diane was going for the racial element here, but... if you’re really concerned about continuity, you don’t have this meeting without having Madeline ready to jump in and show she’s read up on the client. I’m sure it’s possible that Diane meant nothing in giving this client only Madeline’s name, title, gender, and race to go off of, but is that likely?  

She hands another (white, male) client off to Julius, whom she describes as a “very competent lawyer.” What an introduction. She says she’s not retiring and the firm “just wants to let some other people step forward into a name partner position.” Diane knows how to sell clients on changes they won’t like. She knows this isn’t how you do it.  

That phrase, “comfortable with you” is doing a lot of work, no? Both clients so far have said it, and while it might not be racially coded... it’s racially coded.  

“Who should we call about it?” the clients ask. Diane can barely keep herself from smiling.

They call David Lee, immediately. He takes the call in the middle of a meeting, while someone else is talking—he is David Lee, after all.

The information on the screen in David’s meeting is quite interesting. It’s about STRL’s plans for RL. Here’s how the firm is described: “RL is a high-end mid-sized Chicago law firm that can consolidate its specialized brand within the American POC community and expand its national and global brand with STR Laure.” Soooo... yeah. For the corporate overloards, RL needs it to be just black enough that it appears like a black firm, but they care more about appearances and branding than anything of substance. (Notice how it says “POC” and not black? Notice how there’s this mention of national and global presence that doesn’t seem to be on the RL partners’ mind?)  

There’s an area called room for growth, listing top clients—entertainment law, fracking, the DNC, and civil cases against CPD. Interestingly, two of these are Liz’s clients (entertainment and DNC), one is Adrian’s (civil cases against CPD), and only fracking is Diane’s... so maybe I didn’t give Liz enough credit earlier.  

There’s also a plan of action that includes partners working with STRL and the 15-20% layoffs we already know about. I don’t think this text is meant to include any new info, but I assume one of the writers had a hand in writing it and it’s a good way of confirming things that had been subtext.

Wackner’s reality show looks... well, like his court, because his court always looked like a reality show. Cutting together the most out-there moments (audience reaction cards, Wackner singing “Come on defense!”, Wackner renaming himself Judge Shmuley for a day) makes Wackner look pretty bad.

Hey Liz, I thought you figured out how to silence your notifications for Dawnk permanently. (It’s not all high-stakes controversy over on the “R&L General” channel—the anon animals are now discussing a broken coffee maker.) (Though even this discussion is a bit political! Anon Owl says they bet STR’s coffee machine works, and Anon Dolphin wants to know why they don’t have more coffee maters at RL.)  

There’s also a dance party—which Marissa participates in—in the footage of Wackner.  

Hey, wouldn’t Marissa have reported the cameras to Diane and Liz? I feel like she’d know they’d want to know.  

Wackner ends up on the stand to offer context for the strange-looking clips. In a smart move, Liz offers to just let Judge Farley ask questions—she knows that’s what Farley is really after.

Unsurprisingly, Wackner’s context makes his outrageous practices seem much more reasonable. There’s a scoreboard to keep lawyers aware of where they’re standing so they can gauge instead of guess at Wackner’s thought process. Shmuley is to honor a recently deceased relative. The costumes are to prevent bias and cut down entitlement.  

Plaintiff’s counsel argues that Wackner is biased and the case continues even though Wackner’s (mostly) won over Farley.  

The case next turns to something about copyright law that sounds downright silly—the point is to underline that Wackner’s court makes more sense than real court on some things. It makes more common sense and it’s less racist.  

Del gets called into court. It’s interesting how these scenes are blocked together rather than spread out. The same is true of Diane’s scenes—after credits, we have Diane and Liz at the bar, Diane at home, Diane talking to RBG, Diane making moves, and then David Lee becoming aware of the situation. Then we have several consecutive court scenes (all of which feel like they have natural break points) of Wackner stuff. If I had to guess, I would guess that it’s to keep the momentum going. The Diane stuff plays better when it feels like a continuous chain rather than a subplot.  

(The only thing that suffers is that I have no idea why there’s a court scene about copyright law right after the plaintiff argues they have evidence about Wackner’s bias? I probably wouldn’t have even noticed if the scenes had been spread out more.)  

Now Cord’s involvement with Wackner’s court becomes an issue. It’s funny they need a witness to bring up Cord when Cord is SITTING IN THE COURT ROOM.  

Apparently Cord is financing a company that would compete with the plaintiff’s company and this means Wackner is biased. As the next scene will explain, Cord wasn’t even aware of his investment in the rival company, and Wackner certainly wasn’t. But, regardless, it’s going to be challenging to prove that neither Wackner nor Cord knew about the investment, and the opposition is going to go after Cord’s financial records, which no one wants. Liz suggests a continuance, which would give Wackner about a year to keep working on his court before they have to come back to this issue.  

Wackner HATES the idea of delays and is all, THIS IS WHY I HAVE MY OWN COURT and again, he isn’t wrong.  

David Lee needs to see Liz, now. Liz and Diane meet in David Lee’s office and stare at their phones. Diane says she has no idea what the meeting is about, even though she basically set up the meeting herself.  

“What the fuck is going on?” David Lee says. Diane feigns surprise and asks for more specifics. David Lee reveals that four top clients have called with issues about their representation shifting.  

Liz knows what’s going on and aggressively says, “Diane, thoughts?” “Nothing from me. I met with my clients. I just told them of a restructuring that I was being told about,” Diane says like it’s no big deal. Liz and Diane both know that Diane forced this meeting.

“Is this a power play on your part?” Liz asks Diane. “No, it’s just updating my clients,” Diane says for David Lee’s benefit or commitment to the bit or something. It is definitely a power play, and a nearly unforgivable one done to an ally.  

“David, Diane was told about frustration at the partner level about a white woman being a name partner in a black firm. And apparently, this is her response,” Liz explains. “I just told our clients what was going on,” Diane defends. David Lee doesn’t really care about what happened: he cares about one thing, and that thing is money.  

“Diane’s a fucking name partner until STR Laurie says she’s not. No one decides until I decide. Now stick your race war back in its bottle,” David Lee says. I mean, basically, yeah, that’s what happens when you merge with a huge firm that only cares about profit.  

I like that this ends up coming back to STRL. You can’t really have a conversation about RL’s identity without also acknowledging that RL is not independently owned. Sure, STRL will care at some point if RL loses its clout with the black community—but like most companies, they care about guaranteed loss of profit and the short term more than long-term what-ifs. It may sound cynical, but if Madeline and all of the other partners quit, STRL would simply put all their effort into keeping Liz or even just the Reddick name and would then hire black lawyers who think more like Julius than Madeline to keep the reputation. STRL does not give a shit about helping anyone, and that’s what Diane counts on.  

I do not believe the version of RL that Madeline wants can exist when they’re under STRL’s control. I believe the version Diane wants (not really a black firm) can, and I believe the version Liz seems to want (one that’s mostly black and occasionally social justice focused) can, but this issue won’t go away until STRL does.  

Sure, Diane, keep telling yourself you’re fighting the good fight out here.  

(Perhaps “The Good Fight” is a more ironic and fraught title than it originally seemed.)  

“That was a mistake. I am on your side, and you don’t even realize it,” Liz tells Diane afterwards. Interesting that Liz says “I am” and not “I was.” I would love to know what Liz really thinks about this situation and hope we get more from her POV next week. I think Liz wants to run a black firm, but I also think she wants to run a successful firm and likes working with Diane. Liz is on Diane’s side about as much as she can be while still advocating for Diane to step down.  

Pissing off Liz is a very interesting move for Diane here, too. Diane wants to fight the one person who is on her side for control of a firm that doesn’t want her there, and she’s convinced herself this is the smart move! Kind of wild. What does Diane think the day to day will look like? I think I said this above, but in forcing this war, Diane is all but guaranteeing that if she wins, RL will only be a black firm in that STRL will say it’s one to make more money.

Julius and Diane chat next. Julius says he wants to start his own firm—with Diane. Her only reaction is laughter, but, like, this is probably happening. I’m not sure why she laughs. It’s not quite a case of unfortunate timing (Diane could’ve done this before she blew things up, and it’s not quite too late for Diane to commit to leaving and smooth things over with Liz), so maybe it’s just a “well, this sounds familiar!” laugh.  

(If you think of Previously On as 5x00 instead of 5x01, that would make this episode 5x05, which would make this a Hitting the Fan callback. I can also do mental gymnastics!)  

The episode could end there, but it doesn’t. We’ve still got a Wackner plot to resolve. Cord has some people beat up the plaintiff as a way of enforcing Wackner’s verdict and getting the real court case to go away. Marissa picks up on what’s happened faster than Wackner does, unless Wackner just doesn’t care.  

It’s subtle, but throughout this episode, there’s a little bit of a trend towards Marissa becoming more skeptical of Wackner. She tries to keep him under control in court, tries to reason with him about the continuance, and in this scene, she just looks entirely displeased and alarmed every time she’s on camera.  

We get another scene with RBG. “It’s different for me than it was for you,” Diane says. She notes that unlike RBG, she herself is up against another “dominated culture.” This other dominated culture is “black lawyers.” (I’m sorry, I just find the way she says “black lawyers” funny, partially because she says “lawyers” instead of people and partially because Diane seems insistent on only occasionally remembering that Liz is both black and female.)  

I can’t tell if this scene was originally intended to close the episode or not. The blocks of scenes, the way the episode seems like it should’ve ended with Julius’s laugh but instead has three more scenes (guy getting beat up, Wackner’s court, this one), and the fact the Kings said this episode had to be almost totally rethought because both Christine and Audra had concerns about the original script all suggest to me that maybe some of the scenes in this episode got shuffled around to keep momentum and hit the right notes at the right time.  

Diane acknowledges that RBG could’ve stepped down and we wouldn’t have a conservative majority on the court now if she had. RBG insists that she wouldn’t have stepped aside even if Obama had guaranteed that her replacement would be black. She says it’s because she only knows what she can do—not what others would do. And “what you know is always better than what might happen.”  

Even if this was originally supposed to happen earlier (Diane saying she doesn’t know what to do makes me feel like it way), I like that we get to see it’s still weighing on Diane after the fact.  

(Also, I have seen some comments about, for lack of a better phrase, the girl power energy of these Diane and RBG scenes. No! These scenes aren’t a tribute to RBG! She’s in these scenes because she didn’t step down and can thus help Diane excuse her own actions! These scenes aren’t exactly anti-RBG, but they are certainly critical of some of her choices!)  

The topic shifts to Diane and Kurt’s relationship (another reason to put this somewhere other than the main part of the episode; this would slow down the momentum of the middle part of the episode) and its similarity to RBG’s friendship with Scalia.  

Tbh, I don’t think a friendship and a marriage are all that similar on this front and I’d be curious to see Diane think about RBG/Scalia in the context of her potential partnership with Julius rather than her marriage.

RBG basically tells Diane to stay with Kurt. Diane thanks her, and then, back in reality, tells Kurt to take the NRA job so he’ll be happy—and then she’ll just sue him. Okay, that feels like an episode ending, so I am REALLY curious about all the re-writing and re-structuring that happened in this episode and what did/didn’t get touched. I can’t make up my mind about what feels out of place.

So we start out with Diane feeling like it might be the right thing to explore whether or not it still makes sense for her to be with Kurt, a suspected insurrectionist and future NRA employee, and Diane feeling like she wants to help her friends and partners at her mostly black firm do good in the world. And we end with Diane doubling down on her relationship with Kurt, giving her blessing for the NRA job, and fucking over her colleagues because she wants to keep her own power. Dark! I love it.  

This episode does this all without making Diane entirely unsympathetic, which is astounding. While I think Diane knowingly makes choices that further her self-interest over the values she (claims to?) hold and I am definitely NOT Team Diane on her decisions in this episode, this episode could easily have been less interesting and complex. It’s understandable that Diane would not want to step aside from a firm she’s helped build—who would? It’s understandable that Diane might not feel the passion for a black firm the way she does for a female firm. It’s understandable that Diane might not want to blow up her marriage, despite her political differences from Kurt. This episode allows Diane to be just sympathetic enough she never becomes a flat villain, but never sympathetic enough that someone could mistake this episode for one that shows Diane as a morally pure hero. Personally, I love that in a TV show. That’s the exact kind of writing that made me love Alicia Florrick enough that I still spend a considerable amount of time thinking about her character arc even though TGW ended half a decade ago. It’s what’s been missing from a lot of TGF episodes for me, and why I’ve said that TGF seems like a show more about theme than character. It’s why I’ve written—oh god, TEN THOUSAND words—about this episode.  

I have no clue what’s going to happen next, but I hope it includes more character-driven drama (ideally with a lot of good material for Liz) and not a lot of firm-jumping shenanigans.  

#tgf thoughts #the good fight

[secret-engima]

So, RL this week was /hellish/. I'd like to thank you again for all your chapters and world builds and snippets - they really helped brighten otherwise unbearable days. Thanks again!

*hugs* Sorry to hear that! But I’m glad my stuff could help. Here- have a snippet! Sorry it’s angsty.

...

     Roman took the ragged armchair across from them and tried not to feel like there was a battle line drawn in the sand between him and Neo now, “Alright. We’re alone and secure. Now, tell me what’s going on, Neo. You burst into my room, crying your eyes out, tell me some story that makes no sense, and then run. You’re gone for a week and a half, you help assassinate Marcus Black, and now you’re back.” Neo blinked at him, surprised, and Roman clicked his tongue, “The whole underworld knows that Marcus Black is dead, Neo. His supply runners showed up just as a bullhead of the same make and model as yours was leaving and they took pictures. Roman pulled his copy out of his breast pocket and held it up accusingly, “There’s only once Semblance I know that leaves glass shards like this.”

     Neo glanced down at her shoes, then raised her eyes to meet his and nodded, “It’s true. I helped kill him.”

     “For the love of the Brothers, why, Neo? By rights he should have eaten you alive!”

     Neo stared at him helplessly for a long moment, like she didn’t know where to start. The four year old put a gentle hand on her knee and looked up at her trustingly. Neo ran a hand through his dark hair before exhaling heavily, “We met Cinder in the late spring. We had no idea how much of a threat she was at first, she was cocky and young, arrogant and entitled. But … she had a right to be…” Roman watched the story unfold from her fingers and felt very confused. That confusion increased when Neo told him of meetings he had apparently had with this “Cinder” woman, then rapidly escalated to alarm when Neo mentioned the woman’s plan to sabotage the upcoming Vytal festival.

     The upcoming fortieth Vytal Festival.

     That was seven years away from the current date.

     He tried to interrupt but Neo’s fingers kept moving and he had to watch quietly or lose the thread of information. She told him of operations that went against his own code of conduct. Stealing dust from any source, even the small businesses that he preferred to patron —keeping the locals friendly meant more hideaways from the law if things went south, keeping them wealthy compared to the big corporations and competitors meant they would be grateful enough to look the other way—, working with the White Fang terrorists. Killing people for a plan that wasn’t his. Risking Neo. Risking the city to call down Grimm from Mountain Glen. All under the fear of Cinder and her mysterious employer.

     It made no sense. These were events that hadn’t happened. He knew they hadn’t happened.

     …Hadn’t happened yet. No. No that was impossible. Semblances could do wild things, but time travel? Perhaps if it was only a few hours back or less, but years? No.

     And yet, the more the story unfolded, the worse Roman’s stomach knotted. Neo told him about Cinder’s two minions, Emerald and Mercury, and the two older brats flinched guilty and that told him that their names were a bit too on the nose with their hair color. The littlest barely reacted, just leaned tiredly against Neo’s side, watching her hands as she kept telling her ludicrous story of a Vytal festival sabotaged and airships stolen and-.

     Death. His death. He died except he was still here, so that was nonsense, but the tears dripping down Neo’s face as she blatantly skipped over parts of the story to introduce the last brat were uncomfortably convincing. She sped up the story, skipped more details, but not enough to let Roman convince himself this was fake. The details she included were too precise, too vivid, too lived in. She told him about devil’s deals and revenge, about war and an enemy that had been ruling over Grimm kind since the dawn of human history as it was known. About siding with that evil because there was nothing left for her but to fall in line like the rest of them.

     Until the Grimm Queen’s newest pet captured someone. A young boy who apparently … was her enemy? The descendant of her enemy. Something. Important. Neo’s hands started shaking too hard to sign and the tiniest of the kids rested his hand on her elbow. Neo’s hands dropped and she looked at him in open concern that felt too raw, too ingrained, and curse it all he knew this was impossible, but Neo didn’t lie like this. Not to him. Not to anyone. She never lied with tears. The near-toddler looked at Roman and Brothers above his eyes were creepy. Too … deep. They drilled right through Roman’s head and into all the dark corners no one should see and he wondered if the kid had a mind reading Semblance or something.

     “Salem wanted me because I had information she needed,” the child spoke with a deadly seriousness that was at complete odds with his tiny, soft, young voice and seriously what was Roman’s life right now. The practical infant gripped his little knees and refused to drop his gaze from Roman’s skeptical one, “She tortured me. For a long time. She broke me. And I … I don’t really know what happened after that. It’s … fragmented. But when I came back to myself, it was to find that Neo, Emerald, Mercury and … two others … had saved me. Rescued me from her lair. They defected with me, to the other side, and together we fought in a war that would decide the fate of all humanity.”

     Roman leaned back with a scoff he didn’t feel, because this at least was a narrative trope he knew, “You lost.”

     The child shook his head, “We won. If by winning you mean ‘destroyed Salem forever’. But the cost…” His bottom lip wobbled and he blinked rapidly as Neo and the other two brats all reached out to touch him, ground him in sympathy.

#SE asks #hamelin-born asks #Team Gremlin verse #Secret Engima Rambles #Melodies and Manuscripts #rwby #roman torchwick

[bard-of-worlds]

Ladybug the Law is the Law CH6

Sorry this is an hour late, RL Problems, anyway i hope you enjoy this and the teaser for my next Ladybug work will be out by Nine tonight.

@susiej1118

@elmokingkong

@silvergold-swirl

@id-dance-with-draco

@eridanuswave

@iwritelikeimrunningoutoftime

@zotinha456

@feliciakainzofspades

@miraculous-simmer7

@raisuke06

@heyitsbugette

@glasswolff

@abrx2002

@ livelifeauthorstyle

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Louise knocked at the back entrance to the Dunpain-Chang bakery holding a briefcase in one hand and shook his head.  If nothing happened like I thought I guess first thing first I’ll do is send a form to the school board for all the camera footage, that way I’ll have it to look over the data and we’ll be able to use that to sue this bitch.  He thought before the door opened and Tom looked out and smiled when he saw him. “Hi Tom, so did the school send over anything to you all?”

 “I wish that they had, at least then this nightmare might have been over with or we would have something to fight against.” Tom said and Louise just sighed and shook his head.  

 “Well at least the Akuma attack gave me plenty of time to get the paperwork done to send to the school board, and I was able to handle Adrien’s problem.”  Louise said as Tom led him into the house, a commotion from the kitchen caused him to sigh and shake his head.   “Giving that it’s almost time for the dinner rush, I guess I’ll be talking to your daughter alone?”

 “Yeah, I’ll have the intercom on so I’ll be able to hear everything.” Tom said as he looked at Louise and glared at him.  “Don’t make me or my wife come up there.”

 “Of course sir, I will be perfectly professional, I always do.” Louise said and Tom nodded and sighed

 “Kids, he’s back to talk to you both!” Tom called up and then pointed at his eyes then at Louise before he headed towards the bakery’s kitchen.

 Louise shook his head and then chuckled and walked upwards and smiled when he saw Adrien and Marinette walk towards the table and he grinned at them.

 “Hey kids, you all okay, stayed away from those people today?” Louise asked as they walked towards the table.  “The Akuma stayed away from this area but did some of the dogs come and bother you all, it didn’t look like they did but you never know with her Cure.”

 “We stayed safe and away from the windows, we only stopped hiding when the alert died down.” Marinette said and Louise looked at them for a few seconds before nodding.

 “Yeah, we were safe Louise. But you’re here about something, so how are our issues?” Adrien asked as the three of them sat down at the table and Louise put his briefcase down and sighed. “That bad?

 “Let me start with you Miss Marinette.  I had a friend of mine check over the video you got yesterday and while it wasn’t changed or modified, legally it is tainted because it was anomalous but it gives us wriggle room to hunt down the original.  I will be going to that school tomorrow for that reason with a few members of the police, I’ll have a warrant to get a copy of the school’s security cameras and another copy will be given to the school board so there’s that.” Louise said and then looked at Adrien.  “But then there’s your problem kid, first and foremost we need to get you to a doctor in the next few days for a full physical, it’s part of the process okay kid so don’t ask okay?  And the witness list will be drawn up after that.”

 Adrien nodded and looked down and sighed and closed his eyes.  I can get why, to make sure it’s not physical abuse.   I mean this has to part of the process.  I have to do this, I said I would and this is important, I can’t go back to how it was before, nothing about this is healthy for any of us.  Adrien thought as he felt Marinette reach over and squeeze his hand. “This is why it’s so hard, isn’t it?”

 “Yeah kid, it is.” Louse said and then he smiled at him.  “I mean I always thought that you were a bit skinny kid, so a general physical is something that would be good for the case, I’ll also need you to sign a few documents that need to be signed with the Child’s Protection agent present as a witness to let me look into your finances, again part of the process. And all of this stuff that was set up to keep you, the child in question safe.”

 “The Justice department really has a lot of stuff set up to handle this doesn’t it?” Marinette asked and Louise laughed darkly.

 “Yeah, but unfortunately it was more of a ‘don’t do this again’ thing that grew overtime.” Louise said with a sigh and shook his head.  “So to finalize everything, tomorrow I will be heading to the college to serve the warrant, then I will be heading over to the board of education to serve the papers that will contest the expulsion and or suing the college for what they did.”

 “Yeah, then there’s the way that I can get that physical.  He’s going to be watching most of the hospitals and clinics in the city.” Adrien said and Louis smirked.

 “All you need to do kid is make it away from here and get to around the 7th on the boarder of the 6th.  I’ll pick you up there and then I’ll get you to this clinic the police and most of the lawyers use when they need a doctor without people knowing.  Perfectly legal but it was set up that way for undercover ops for the police, a totally covered garage and the normal way in only covered to.” Louise said with a smirk.  “One of the best in the city, most people who know about it think the directors a little too concerned with privacy but he did get his leg broken when fans mob a hospital when he was a student so there’s that.”

 “Wow.” Marinette said as she and Adrien blinked and looked at him.  “So do you think you’ll be able to get everything that we need to successful argue about happened to me?”

 “Perfectly.  The trip tomorrow is basically just to find airtight copies of the original videos.  And I’ll be heading over to the Italian embassy within the next few days and well.” Louise said with a shrug and looked at the two teens.

 “Do you think that’s a good thing, it might give Lila time to cover her tracks or get out of the city. And if her mother is a diplomat.” Marinette said as Adrien nodded and Louise only smirked back.

 “Don’t worry about that, I have to head over there anyway and follow up on a settlement with another client, and I can’t talk about why but I will be talking to a person who knows who works there.  I’ll find out the truth and from there, and then we’ll see what’s true.” Louise said as he looked around at the two teens who smiled.  “Relax, all I’ll be doing is finding out where she lives and making sure she knows to make it to the hearing about what happened, from there we’ll see what’s what.”

 “There might be another way…….” Marinette said and looked down at the table for a few moments.  “A frie…….a classmate has access rights to the school’s network and website.”

 “Why?”  Louise asked and Adrien looked at her as she refused to meet their eyes.

 “He reworked it a few months ago after it was hacked, nothing was destroyed but the files were renamed and well it was chaos for a few days as the students had to deal with what the hacker renamed our accounts as.” Marinette said as she blushed.  “For a month before Max fixed it I had to log in as ‘Bakery-Model’ and Chloe was ‘Chief-Brat.’  Let’s just say that when she realized what her new login name was she screamed so loud the whole school heard.”

 “So then Max could get the number and email address Lila gave the school!” Adrien said as Louise started to grin and rub his hands together.

 “But would this Max be willing to do that?” Louis asked and Marinette nodded.  

 “Some of our classmates figured out Lila is a bitch, and two of them came over today and apologized for not believe me.  We had a talk and shared lunch together and we cleared the air.” Adrien said and Marinette nodded.

 “So I’ll call text him later and message you if he’s willing to do that.  Once that’s done I’ll text you or do you want me to send it tomorrow?” Marinette asked and Louise nodded at her.  

 “That sounds great Marinette, just send me the information before Francois Dupont starts tomorrow, I’ll be raiding during the first class so hopefully I’ll get by the principle.” Louise said as he took some papers out of his briefcase and passed one pile to Adrien and one to Marinette. “The one with you Adrien is the summery of everything that you and I talked about, every bit of the case against your dad.  And Miss Marinette, what you have is the paperwork that I’ll need you and your parents to sign, it’s how we’re contesting the ‘expulsion’.  Oh, and I used a copy of the video that you were sent yesterday as the reason for my ‘fishing expedition’ tomorrow.”

 “So that will let you track down the evidence?” Marinette asked and Louise got up and the teens did as well.

 “Yeah, it’s technical but that’s  right.” Louise said and smirked.  “I wonder if the owl will find us before we leave?  Well you have a nice night kids.”

 As Louise walked away Adrien turned towards Marinette and rubbed the back of his head, waiting until they heard the door downstairs close before he looked at her.  “You know we have to talk about what we learned…..”

 “Marinette!  We’re be up for super in a few moment, the dinner crew is here!  So could you get out the plates and put dinner in the oven?” Sabine’s voice caused Adrien to stop and shrug and Marinette to sigh internally.

 OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

“Thanks Max, just get me the data as soon as you can tonight.” Marinette said into her phone as she climbed up to her bed.

 “I’ll send it to you by midnight Marinette, and I hope that you’re back in class soon.” Max said as he hung up and Marinette chuckled as she got to her bed.

 “Max is a good friend Marinette, I knew he would help you!” Tikki said as she floated up after her.

 “That was never in doubt Tikki.” Marinette sighed as she looked around her room, when they had both gotten back to her house her parents had thankfully stayed downstairs the whole time and hadn’t gone to check on them and that was one thing that they had lucked out on.  Dinner had been tense between the two of them but they had been able to get through it without her parents getting a clue that there was something that was bothering the two of them.

 “Are you okay Marinette?” Tikki asked as she floated there and Marinette only hid her face as her kwami looked at her in concern.

 “He must be so disappointed that it’s me Tikki, he just has to be.” Marinette said and hugged her knees as she rested her head on her bed.  

 “You don’t know that Marinette, you don’t.” Tikki said as she looked at Marinette.  While she tried to keep her temper down as she looked at her chosen.  He better not!  After all the times that Plagg’s said that he’s mooned over her, just finding out who she really was she had better not have stopped loving her because she’s ‘just a friend’!  I mean really! Tikki thought as she floated to Marinette and touched her check. “You two just need to talk to each other privately about a lot of things.”

 “But where can we talk my parents overhearing us?” Marinette asked and Tikki sighed.

 “Here for one, or up there.” Tikki said as she pointed towards the door to the roof and Marinette’s balconies

 “All it would take is someone to see him and then who knows what Gabriel or Lila would do?  The only place is my room and that’s a whole other kettle of fish.” Marinette said with a blush and Tikki sighed and thought darkly about teenagers and their hormones.

 “You have to talk to him Marinette, want me to go get him; I could follow the vents and hide from your parents that way.” Tikki said and Marinette looked like she was going to say something when they both heard something.

 A buzzing caused her to snap her head up and look towards a statue light her parents had giving her for her last birthday before Tikki had come into her life, her friend had gone into it and discovered a microphone and a few searches at school had turned up the item on a site that sold parential spyware, a way for parents to spy on their kids without them being aware of it.  the model in question had a recording option, thankfully Max had come over once or twice to share a new game and he had helped her by showing her how to modify it to make the engine run a bit louder so she knew when it was active.

 A knock on her door caused Marinette to look towards it and swallow.  “Come in.”

 Adrien looked around as he came up into her room and Plagg flew around and Tikki flew over to him and gestured pointed towards the statue that Marinette had just been thinking off and before Adrien could say anything Marinette held up a hand and type out a quick text on it before throwing it to him, he caught it and looked down at it and paled a little as he read, ‘the statue is bugged by my parents, let Plagg and Tikki handle it.’

 “Hey Adrien, you doing okay stuck in here?” Marinette asked as she grinned at him and kept her eyes on the statue as Plagg and Tikki flew towards it.

 “Okay, I have a lot of practice with this so it’s not too bad; at least I have someone to talk to who doesn’t answer to him.” Adrien said and Marinette looked at him with a look of concern in her eyes that caused him to shiver a little.

 “What about the models you’ve worked with, couldn’t you talk to them online at least?” Marinette asked and Adrien laughed and shook his head.  He kept his eyes on the two kwami as she slipped into the statue and sighed before he spoke up.  

 “You’d think that but their contracts have a clause in them that kept us from sharing our emails on sets, the parties and work with our agencies is supposed to be where that kind of stuff is exchanged but well dad never let me go.” Adrien said with a shrug.

 “Why wouldn’t he?” Marinette asked in complete shock

 “Something about drug abuse that one model said started at a party.  Which is insane and impossible because all the company’s models have to have blood tests every few months and most of them bring in paperwork to show what prescriptions their doctors are having them take and why, and the company is responsible for the food.  But of course he ignores that but well who would tell him that?” Adrien said dryly and Marinette looked at him in concern.

 “Before you made it to school, you had a very small circle of people you knew that didn’t work for your father, didn’t you?” Marinette asked, complete shocked and rethinking a lot about how she felt about his father.

 “I think maybe Chloe, but there’s some kinda connection between her family and my mom’s.” Adrien said with a shrug.  “He was better when mom was around, at least I think he was.”

 Marinette looked so concerned for him he almost took her into his arms but then he saw the kwami float out of the statue as the buzz died down.

 “Not bad Plagg, you drained the battery so fast!” Tikki said and Plagg laughed and nudged her.

 “What about you, going right for the wires that led to the motor and tearing them first, then going for the wires connecting to the speakers!  This way they’ll think it broke by age and without the motor then it will die from the heat!” Plagg said as Tikki bowed.

 “So we don’t have to worry about my parents hearing us then.” Marinette said and Adrien nodded.

 “Yeah, we have to talk but let me get this off my chest first.  It’s about the Lila thing, her second time as an Akuma, that we know about for sure anyway.” Adrien said sheepishly as he watched her climb down from her bed as Tikki and as Plagg sighed and landed on his shoulder.  

 “Lila, what about her, wait is this about not confronting her?” Marinette asked only for what Adrien to look down with an ashamed expression on his face.

 “You know how I said I was talking with her before she became Chameleon, remember?” Adrien said.   “I was talking about how people would like her if she didn’t lie, I tried to make her see that and she walked off in a huff. Then she became an Akuma and tried to ruin my social life.”

 “Yeah, I can get it better now.  With how tough her forms are, not wanting to set her off is pretty smart I guess.  And I admit I should have told you about how she threatened me but……”   Marinette interpreted him before he exploded.

 “It’s more than that!” Adrien said and bowed to Marinette suddenly and Plagg fell off his shoulder and dropped a few inches before floating back upwards.  “I was afraid that if you called her on her lies then she would become an Akuma that would want to kill you!”

 “Oh.” Marinette said quietly and paled as she realized that was a possibility given what Akumas had acted like and the many times that the Akumas had attacked people and with how dangerous Lila’s forms were…..  “Oh.”

 “Yeah oh, and with how bad she was, I was worried that she might be able to do that to you, well ‘civilian’ you.” Adrien said as he looked away only for Marinette to reach over and cup his check causing him to blush.

 “Oh kitty.” Marinette breathed and looked at him with a caring look in her eyes.

 “I couldn’t tell ‘civilian’ you how dangerous her Akuma’s were, so I gave that stuff about the high road because I didn’t want you around her enough to set her off and have Lila try and kill you.”  Adrien said as he looked at her as he grabbed her hand and stared into her eyes as they seemed to draw him in as he lost himself in them.  Unconsciously the two of them were slowly moving their heads closer to each other and then Adrien realized what he was doing and shot backwards and took a step back.

 “Adrien?” Marinette asked before she realized what they had almost done and her earlier thoughts came back but before she could start to spiral Adrien held up his hands.

 “Sorry, and I’m sorry if flirting with you had made you uncomfortable, I’ll try and tone it down, it would probably give Hawkmoth a clue if I stop cold.  I never wanted to get in the way of your relationship with him.” Adrien said and Marinette grew more confused as Tikki face palmed as Plagg started to snicker.

 “Him?” Marinette asked as she looked at him, totally confused as Plagg started to snicker behind Adrien as Tikki got a strange look on her face.

 “Luka, the person you have a crush on.” Adrien said as he looked away from her, not seeing her mouth drop open as Tikki slapped her face and Plagg starred to snicker harder.  “I’m sorry, I guess all this time I hoped that maybe he wasn’t that good a person and you might give me a chance, but I’ve met him and i…….”

 “Wait, wait!” Marinette interrupted him.  “You think I’ve had a crush on Luka?”

 “Well yeah, you don’t?” Adrien asked and Marinette nodded and he looked shocked.

 “No, Luka’s a great guy but the both of us know that we’d be bad for each other.  He was always helping me because of……..things that are private for his family really.” Marinette said and she looked down and Adrien frowned.

 Adrien looked at her and tried to comprehend something, everything he knew about her told him he had feelings for someone, she had told him he had feelings for someone else but if it wasn’t Luka then who.  “Then who do you have a crush on?  Sorry if that a bit forward but……”

 “You!” Marinette exclaimed as she shot to her feet.  “I’ve had a crush on you since you gave me your umbrella that day we first met you stupid cat!  And as I got to know you it became……love”

 “Love?” Adrien said shakily and Marinette rolled on.

 “Yes! Your kind, one of the best students in our grade, you try to help whenever you can get away from your father and you’re a great person!  All this time when I’ve stumbled around you it’s because I’ve been trying to tell you that!” Marinette said and blushed when she realized what she had just exploded on him.

 “Oh. So all this time; I’ve been the other boy that in your heart, and I was the reason that you wouldn’t give me as Chat Noir a chance, so the girl I had a crush on had a crush on me.  Well that’s something.” Adrien said dumbly he sat down in total shock as Marinette stared at him.

 “Wait, you’ve had a crush on me as Ladybug, what about Kagami?!” Marinette said and Plagg looked at Tikki who nodded at him, a snicker escaping him.

 “Wait Kagami, you thought I had feelings for Kagami?!” Adrien exclaimed as he looked at her.   “No, Kagami and I don’t have feelings for each other, it was more of a thing to get away from our parents and how controlling they are, her idea really.”

 “Really?” Marinette asked and Adrien nodded.

 “She said something about dating a person in a similar situation to mine once and it didn’t work out, she said it was one of the reasons they moved but that was all that she said about it.”  Adrien said and he looked at Marinette and took a deep breath.  “But it did let me talk to her and she helped me work through my feelings, get them under control and try and deal with my crush.”

 “On Ladybug, right?” Marinette said with trepidation as she looked at Adrien who nodded.

 “I do love the Ladybug you but I developed feelings for someone else over the last year.” Adrien said and Marinette started to feel worse.

 “Who?” Marinette asked and Adrien looked at her.

 “You bug.” Adrien said as he blushed.  “On both sides of the mask I fell for you.”

 “What.” Marinette asked faintly as she looked at him as Plagg started to grin and Tikki smiled at her.

 “For a while now I’ve been having a hard time dealing with my feelings for well; both of you.  As Ladybug you’re brave and smart, and as Marinette you’re creative, helpful to everyone and talented as heck, and the way you looked when you won that video game tournament with Max. I’ve been having a hard time separating what I felt about both of you.  That’s why I went on that date with Kagami, I was trying to move on but it didn’t work well, we both saw that.” Adrien said and Marinette sat down as she looked away as Adrien in looked at Marinette before he started to laugh, startling Marinette and the Kwamis.  

 “So the reason we both rejected/ ignored each other is because we fell in love with one side of each other.”  Adrien said as he stopped laughing and Plagg fell to the floor and started to laugh.

 Plagg finally stopped laughing and grinned at them.  “Oh man o man, you two crack me up!  That right there!  You two are my new favorite chosen ever!”

 “Plagg!”  Tikki said as Marinette and Adrien blushed and looked away.

 “Come on sugarcube, don’t tell that you don’t think this is funny!” Plagg said as he snickered and Tikki giggled and nodded.

 “Their almost as funny as our first wielders; remember them?” Tikki asked and Plagg laughed as he spun around.  “And I can’t wait until Alya and the others find out, you two have to make up a good story to get by her!”

 “Alya, why would we have to make up a story for her?” Adrien asked and Marinette blushed and looked away. “Anything else I should know?”

 “Alya’s been trying to help me confess with the girls for most of the school year, I can’t even count all the times and plans we made that failed.” Marinette said and Adrien looked down with a deeper blush.

 “Oh, that’s something but I was talking to the Kwami.  Anything you want to say Plagg?” Adrien asked and his kwami turned and grinned at the humans as Tikki just looked on exasperated.

  “Sometimes when this happens it’s either my holder or sugarcube’s who finds out first, they try and make them fall in love with their ‘other-selves’; it’s kinda funny to tell the truth.” Plagg said and Adrien looked away as Marinette looked the other way.

 “Oh, look at the time, shouldn’t we go to Alya’s soon?” Adrien asked and Marinette looked at the clock and nodded as Plagg shook his head and Tikki giggled as Marinette smiled at him.  “So how about I turn in and then slip out through the window, I’ll meet you up top?”

 “We still have about an hour, so let’s give go play a round with my parents for a bit before they go to sleep and then we’ll slip out from our rooms.” Marinette said as she looked towards the door down and smirked.  “Because I know they’ll be here in a few moments because of how the power went out.”

 Adrien looked towards the door as they heard someone climb up the ladder and a moment later Tom Dupain opened the door with a smile.  “Hey kids, Sabine and I are starting a round of Ultimate Mecha Strike III, want in?”

 OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Alya hugged herself as she waited on the rooftop of the building she lived in she shivered a little. She had been able to escape dinner without her parents giving her much trouble about her blogging during the attack and even Nora had been quiet about it, something that hadn’t happened a lot and she still looked around with a nervous feeling.  I don’t know what to do, I have to take down that damned interview but how?  I could say I was attacked by a hacker, that might buy me a few days and then I can talk to the others about Lila, see how we can get her back.  But what did Marinette mean about how she wasn’t going back to Dupont?  What did she and her parents learn about the school to make them decide that? Alya thought as she stood there and tried to think about.

 “Alya?”

“JESUS!” She exclaimed as she spun around and saw Ladybug and Chat Noir standing there looking at her. “When did you get here?”

 Chat Noir and Ladybug looked at each other before Chat spoke up. “A few minutes ago, you wanted to talk to us about something?”

 “Yeah, it’s about this girl at school Lila, I posted an interview about her, how she was Ladybug’s best friend but I’m think she’s not and I shouldn’t have done it at all.” Alya said and her smile dropped as she saw Ladybug nod and Chat Noir scowled.

 “She the last thing from even a friend to Ladybug.” Chat Noir said and Ladybug nodded.

 “And the reason that we never said anything about it because we didn’t want to call any attention to your site, we didn’t want Hawkmoth to think he could get to us through you.” Ladybug said and Alya flushed and looked down, ashamed beyond her ability to speak.

 Alya could only look at them and pale as she thought about what her ‘Ladybug hunts’ could have brought down onto her family.  Gods, this has to be why Marinette always talked about them, how she tried to get me to slow down and not go so fast?  And forget Hawkmoth, who else could have used what I put up on my blog the wrong way?  How much danger have I put my little sisters in?  Alya thought as she swayed a bit causing the Hereos to look at her in concern.

 “Are you okay Alya?” Chat Noir asked and Alya nodded absently.

 “Yeah, I’m just thinking about what people could have done with what I put up on my blog, I gotta try and fix it….. maybe I could talk to Max….” Alya said as she started to plan a way to fix what she had done and the two heroes looked at each other, the way that they had

 “Like that interview and the knowledge about the Miraculous?” Ladybug asked and Alya looked down and blushed in shame.

 “I don’t even know why I did it in the first place, she just said what I wanted to hear and I didn’t think.” Alya said and Ladybug reached over and squeezed Alya’s shoulder.

 “She used you, she’s a monster, she doesn’t care who she hurts as long as her goals are met.” Chat said bitterly and Alya’s snapped her head towards him and her mouth dropped open.

 “How do you…..what do you mean?” Alya was able to stammer and Ladybug and Chat Noir looked at each other for a few moments before Chat Noir pointed at his forehead and Ladybug nodded.

 “When the girl who became Riposte became Oni-Chan, Lila tricked me to leave Ladybug to fight her alone.” Chat Noir said causing Alya to gasp and looked at Ladybug as Chat Noir continued.  “She faked being injured and since she was the target I carried her away and then.”

 “Chat told me on the next patrol we had.  After that whenever we saw her we tried to look at what she was doing with one eye open when we encounter her because of Akumas.” Ladybug said as Alya starred at her in total shock.

 “She’s a monster, a total monster!  Oh god, what is going through her head!?” Alya asked and Chat Noir scowled and Ladybug sighed.

 “We don’t know. ………. When she first came here I was passing by and I saw her telling that model, what’s his name again…….Darien,  Ernie?”

 “Adrien milady.  I think his name is Adrien.” Chat Noir said and Alya perked up and looked at them.

 “Yeah, him.  She was telling him that she knew me and well….. combinded with her interview then Hawkmoth might have attacked her family!” Ladybug said and Alya looked at her as Chat Noir nodded.  “So I confronted her about it and well then she became Volpina.”

 “And we don’t have proof but she might have helped Hawkmoth set up the Hero-Day attack, we’re not sure what school she went to at the time soooo.” Chat Noir said with a shrug.

 Alya only looked at the heroes in total shock, unable to comprehend what they were talking about before she realized just what they were saying.  “Illusions, that’s her power as Volpina…… but how did she…… she was playing hooky all those months?”

 “As Chat said we don’t have proof.  But personally I wouldn’t be surprised if she has been working for Hawkmoth.”  Ladybug said causing Alya to gasp as her mouth dropped open and Chat Noir to scowl and look away.

 “Really wouldn’t surprise me.” Chat said flatly and Alya looked at him as Ladybug eyes shot to Chat’s as she hopped he wouldn’t let on to Alya who he was.

 “I can’t believe this, someone is actually working with Hawkmoth?!  Why?” Alya asked as she couldn’t comprehend why on earth anyone would want to help the magical terrorist.

 “We’re not sure, but we’re not sure she’s not working for him.” Ladybug said and Alya looked at them and scowled.  “But what did you want to talk to us about?  Anything besides Lila?”

 “I wanted to set the record straight about her.  She got a friend of mine kicked out of school and I didn’t believe her when she said that Lila was behind it.”  Alya said and looked away, missing the look Chat Noir shot Ladybug before Alya turned back. “Beyond everything I want to make sure that my friend gets justice, and if I have to tear apart every one of her lies then so be it!”

 “That’s fine then, we’ll be happy to make a statement right LB?” Chat Noir asked and turned his head and looked at Ladybug who smiled, not what they would do but at the wink Chat Noir sent her that Alya couldn’t see.

  Alya waved goodbye as the two heroes ran away and suddenly turned when she heard the door opened and revealed Nora standing there in a green buttoned tee-shirt and black pants, a smirk on her face.

 “So that was why you ran off to little sister, what did Heroes need from you?” Nora asked and Alya stared at her.

 “Nora, how long have you been there?” Alya asked as she tried to recover her equilibrium.

 “Only the last couple of minutes while you were saying goodbye to them, so what’s up?” Nora asked nad Alya looked away.  “Hey sis, what is it?”

 “I messed up sis, I messed up big, I didn’t believe my best friend and I projected something I did onto her actions and she got hurt because I trusted the wrong person.” Alya said and Nora looked at Alya and raised an eyebrow.

 “Do we need to get the parents sis?”  Nora asked and Alya looked away.  “Alya?”

 “Dad’s due back for supper tomorrow night, and Mom will be here too, I’d like to tell all of you about it together, okay?” Alya said and looked at Nora.  “I need to talk to Marinette, get an answer about something she said but it might be important.”

 “Are you hurt little sis, that’s what most important okay?” Nora asked concerned.

 “Only my pride.”  Alya said and walked towards the door.  “I don’t want to talk about it, okay sis?”

 Nora only nodded as Alya passed her, promising that she would help her sister no matter what was wrong.

 OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 As she sat in the teacher’s lounge before classes started, Miss Mendeleiv frowned as she looked over the report on Lila.  None of this makes any sense.  She should have had a meeting between her parents and the school by now, I don’t get it.  The only reason that she hasn’t is either…… two things one that stupid owl was scared off or he was payed off!  After what happened with her you think that stupid owl would have remembered what not to do!  I swear this school is going to be shut down!  She thought as she sipped her coffee and tried to get her emotions back under control.  “Come on, don’t give that scum someone to take advantage of so early in the morning, take a deep breath and stay calm.”

 As she sighed and did a meditation exercise to control her heartbeat and emotions a commotion outside caused her to look up with a raised eyebrow.  As the door opened she heard the

 “………and I’m telling you that’s how it happened!” Caline said as she came in to the room, her head looking over her shoulder before she turned it and walked to the counter and grabbed a cup to pour herself some coffee.

 “I can’t believe it, no! I know how the laws are, I know what’s right or wrong!  To think that you did nothing Caline!” D'Argencourt voice caused Miss Mendeleiv to wince. This wasn’t going to be good.  “At the very least you should have walked them to the office yourself.”

 “I had to watch my class, I couldn’t leave my students alone!” Caline said and at this D’Argentocourt only scoffed.

 “Then you should have had the class representative watch them while you took them!  If something happened

 “Marinette was the representative!  And I still need to get a new one soon!” Caline said and at this Miss Mendeleive looked up and hid a glare at her words.  

 “Then the deputy then! And calling her to the front of the room without bringing her outside the room?!  What in the world were you thinking?!”  He countered and Caline winced and looked around, when she noticed Miss Mendeleive there she looked up, hoping for some help but when Miss Mendeleive only scowled she looked down.

 “Even I have to admit that you messed up by doing that public, and for an anonymous report?  And if the answer sheet was missing before the test, then you shouldn’t have gone through with it in the first place Caline!” Miss Mendeleiv said and Caline Buister looked at her with a shocked expression.

 “But it went missing after the test!” Caline said and then she went silent at the looks she was getting.

 “What??” D'Argencourt exploded and Miss Mendeleiv stared at Caline as she looked back at them.

 “You mean to say that the answer sheet was taken AFTER the test?!” Miss Mendeleiv exclaimed as she shot up, her face angry beyond and Caline looked at them confused and could only stare at them in confusion.  “Then Marinette couldn’t have used it to cheat on it!  What were you thinking!?”

 “And what was the sequence the events that led to her being expelled?!” D'Argencourt demanded and Caline swallowed at the look on his face and collected herself before she started to speak.

 “I discovered that the answer sheet was missing during lunch after the test, and then someone nocked on the door to my room and ran away, I found a paper tapped to the door that said that Marinette took the answer sheet.” Caline

 “What kind of paper?” Mr. D'Argencourt demanded and Caline looked at him before continuing.

 “The paper was typed, by a computer it could have come from anywhere, Then when the answer sheet was found in her backpack Marinette accused Lila and after a few moments we all heard a scream and Lila was down at the bottom of the stairs.  Then Lila said that Marinette had stolen a necklace and it was in Marinette’s locker.”  Caline began when Mr. D'Argencourt interrupted.

“Did that fool even check for fingerprints or was it all done on the word of one person with no proof!?” Mr. D'Argencourt demanded and Caline shook her head.  “Unbeleivable, and Miss Marinette’s locker has been broken into this year alone, and there are no locks for heaven’s sake!”

 “Lila grabbed the necklace and then Marinette’s parents were called, then after she was expelled those scarlet Akuma’s attacked and well.”  Caline explained and the other two teachers shared a look with each other.

 “She did that before she was taken to the hospital? What were you thinking letting her move about like that.” Miss Mendeleiv and Mr. D’Argencourt both looked at each other and Caline started to get a sinking feeling.  “What is it Caline?”

 “Who, Marinette?  Why would she have to go to the hospital?” Caline asked and Miss Mendeleiv only stared at the younger teacher.

 “I’m talking about Lila, after a fall down the stairs to the courtyard, onto hard cement!” Miss Mendeliev said angrily and Caline looked at her in total confusion.  “What’s with that look Caline?”

 “She didn’t go to the hospital.” Caline said and Mr. D’Argencourt stared at her as Miss Mendeliev’s mouth dropped open and stared at Caline as she

 “The nurse said she didn’t have to go the hospital?!” Miss Mendeliev asked in total shock, wondering how she didn’t know that.  “What kind of fall did Lila have to not be injured!?”  

 “She didn’t go to the nurse.”  Caline said and the other two teachers went still in shock.

 Mr. D'Argencourt and Miss. Mendeliev only looked at Caline as the bell rang, Caline smiled at them and walked out of the room.  The two teachers looked at each other and Mr. D'Argencourt started to swear in German and Miss. Mendeliev put her head down.

 “How does this work with the notes you’ve been taking my dear?” D'Argencourt asked weakly and Miss. Mendeliev sighed.

 “I still can’t explain the scarlet Akuma’s the first time, and then there’s this attack!  The only answer is one I’m sure you came to as well.” Miss said as Mr. D'Argencourt nodded and they both sighed.  “Well we best go and take care of our classes my friend, we’ll find some way to survive.”

 Of that I have no doubt my lady, of that I have no doubt.  Mr. D'Argencourt said as he openend the door for Miss. Mendeliev who laughed and curtsied after she got up and grinned at him.

 OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Fred Haprele sighed as he walked around the courtyard and shook his head.  I can’t believe that happened the other day, none of it feels right!  And something’s bothering me about Marinette’s punishment, I mean was she even giving a chance to defend herself? There’s something else here, I can feel it!  He thought as he walked towards the stairs and frowned as his eyes looked over them. As he walked up the stairs he saw nothing that indicated that Lila had fallen or that anyone had cleaned the area. “Nothing about this makes sense, I mean nothing at all.  Maybe the nurse will know  

 He looked back down at the courtyard and saw a group of people, a man in a suit and three police officers.  He walked down the stairs at a brisk pace and moved towards them, frowning when he saw them looking at him with scowls on.

 “Good morning, my name is Fred Haprele, how can I help you?” Fred asked and he relaxed as he saw the scowls leassen.

 “I’m officer Jacob, this is Officer Robert and Coby.  We have a warrant to serve, I’m going to have to aske you to take us to the security room so we can download a few files.” Officer Jaccob said as he held out a hand that Fred took and shook.

 “I don’t suppose I can see it could I?” Fred asked and the man in the suite smiled and took out a few papers that he handed over to Fred who took them and whistled when he saw the name on the document and nodded.  “These all seem to be in order, this way please.

 As Fred walked towards the security room he looked over his shoulder and saw the four people following behind him and smiled over his shoulder.  “You all came in the right time, class just started so you’ll be able to get in and out fast……but I’m guessing that you all planned it this way?”

 “A few files that I need for a case.  Mr. Haprele……. You wouldn’t be someone who’s been at this…….. school long have you?” The suit asked and Fred shook his head.

 “No I only started working here a few years ago….. about three now that I think about it.   The people who’ve been here the longest are Mr. D and Miss Mendeleiv.”  Fred said and the suit relaxed and smiled at him.

 “Then you needn’t worry, but you might want to find another job.”  The suit said and Fred stared at him, stopping and looking at him.  “Mr. Haprele, is something wrong?”

 “Why would I need a different job?” Fred asked and the suit smiled darkly and Fred felt a shift of terror.

 “Let us just say that old sins have a way of coming back, and this place has quite a few.” The suit said and smiled at Fred.  “But that’s not important right now, the security room sir?”

 “This way please.” Fred said as he swallowed.  Maybe I should talk to the old man about becoming the manager of the theater after all.  It might be the best decision after all.  He thought as he led the way through the school.

 A few moments later they moved down a flight of stairs and the suit looked around.  “You know, I remember the security room being on the top floor once.”

 “Oh it was.” Fred said as they walked down a hallway.  “But the story is that it was moved after a fire in the old science room burned down the wall dividing them and fighting the fire destroyed the computers.  They had to get new computers, there was a bit of unused space down here so the decision was made to destroy the damaged wall and turn both rooms into the new art room.”

 “Oh, I think I heard about that.” Robert said and Fred nodded.

 “Came into this place during the construction really, and parts of my duties are to transfer the data to a new drive every month.” Fred said and the suit nodded.

 “Good, but I have to know when the next scheduled transfer is supposed to take place.” The suit asked and Fred looked up

 “Actually it’s supposed to be tomorrow, you’re lucky that you’re here now.” Fred said and the suit nodded.

 “Wait, what?  But this is only the second week of the month!” one of the officers exclaimed as the other two nodded as the

 “Yeah, it’s usually later but the principle was adamant about it, he wants it done sooner this month for some reason.” Fred said and the suit chuckled.

 “That makes sense, so the old man could learn.”  The suit muttered and Fred looked at him as he only grinned back.

 A few moments later in the security room the suit had taken out an external hard drive and Fred sent the last month’s CCTV camera’s for the last two weeks and nodded at the suit.  

 “Now the cameras are sub divided by day, good luck finding out anything that you need, and they turn on at the first bell and turn off at a the last.”  Fred said once and the suit offered his hand that Fred took.

 “Thank you, now officers, Mr. Haprele I just need you all to sign that you witnessed the transfer and you Mr. Haprele just need to sign for the authenticity.”  The suit said as he got out a piece of paper from his briefcase.    As they finished sinning the paper Fred looked up at his boss’s voice.

 “What is the meaning of this?!  Mr. Haprele; who are these people and what are they doing here?!”  A voice from behind them caused them to turn and see Mr. Damocles standing outside the room looking in with a glare and

 “Hello Damocles’, how long has it been?” The Suit asked and Mr. Damocles’ turned towards him and paled as he saw the suit

 “Mr. Artoga….. what are you doing here?!” Damocles asked and Mr. Artoga only grinned at him evily.

 “Oh, I’m just serving out a warrant.  I expect that you will be hearing from the school board sooner or later about it.”  Artoga purred as Fred watched as Damocles backed up and started to sweat.   “I think this time I’ll get justice without a girl dying.  Goodbye Owl-man”

 As the suit walked away Fred looked at his boss and frowned as he leaned against the door.  “What was that about sir?”

 Damocles shook his head and looked at Fred with a glare full of anger and Fred scowled back.

 “NEVER MIND THAT! Why on earth did you take that…..that parasite down here?!” Damocles demanded and Fred crossed his arms.

 “He had a lawful warrant and three officers of the law as backup, that was legal and I was full within my rights and responsabilites to this school to have done that!  if you have a problem with it then I will contact my union rep for you to talk to with me!”

 “Nevermind that, what did they want anyway?” Damocles demanded and Fred shrugged.

 “Nothing much, just the camera’s recording for the month so far.  Why?” Fred asked as Damocles just paled and looked at the security system and staggered off to Fred’s confusion.

#miraculous tales of ladybug and cat noir #Ladybug fanfiction #Miraculous Ladybug AU/ The Law is The Law #miraculous au #Lila Salt

[illfoandillfie]

5 Simple Rules For A Successful Fake Relationship: The Perfect Date

5 SIMPLE RULES MASTERLIST

Pairing: Ben Hardy x Reader

Summery: There's trouble in paradise for you and Ben but will the distance bring about some revelations? And what does it mean for your romantic reunion?

Warnings: The usual fairly innocent stuff, some swearing and drinking and mentions of smoking, but with the additions of PDAs out the wazoo, public make out, private make out.

Words: 8093

A/N: Things get a lil spicy in this one! Small disclaimer that I don’t drink so I have no idea what wine does to someone, or two someones who split a bottle. Also just another reminder that this was in no way inspired by rumours regarding Ben’s rl relationship with Olivia Cooke. I believe they’re legit, and I will not engage with anyone about that topic. 

Taglist:  @laedymoon  @dtfrogertaylor  @vee-ndetta @atomic-watermelon @kellypenac @labessieisallama @deakyclicks @jennyggggrrr @drowseoftaylor  @hannafuckingsucks  @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming @queenmylovely @supersonicfreddie @tenement-funstah

@coni-martina @johndeaconshands @hardforbenhardy @cubedtriangle​ @vicouscirce​ @arianabrashierstuff​

You headed straight to the bathroom and threw up. Ben had called twice on your way home, but you’d let it go to voicemail, not ready to hear him admonish you for eavesdropping on him or to be asked if you felt the same. You supposed it was adrenaline or something that was making you feel nauseous. Of course, you’d have to talk to him eventually, at least to apologise for going so off book, but it could wait until you weren’t feeling so miserable. With teary eyes, you made your way to the kitchen, grabbed a drink to help settle your stomach, and then flopped onto the couch to flick through TV channels until you found something distracting enough. Your phone rang again but when you glanced at the screen it wasn’t Ben’s name you saw. “Mary?” If she heard any evidence of your distress in your voice she didn’t mention it, “Brilliant performance Y/N. The video was tweeted out about ten minutes after you left the restaurant and it’s already been shared more than you’d believe.” “Oh, that’s good.” “Better than good. People are eating it up. There’ll be articles tomorrow predicting your breakup and not just the ones we’ve organised. We’re going to ask that you and Ben refrain from seeing each other in public for the next two weeks or so, make it look like you’re taking some time apart. That’ll give the video plenty of time to circulate and allow us to get out a few variations of the trouble in paradise story. Of course, you’re free to visit each other and speak over the phone but be wary in case other paparazzi start following you in addition to the one’s we’ve hired. Chances are more people will be looking to scoop the official breakup story if all goes as well as these early numbers indicate it will. Then we’ll hit them with the romantic makeup dinner at Boucher. And after that it’s back to playing the happy couple. Of course there’ll be the press junket and premiere in a couple of months’ time and then we can break you up for good.” She kept talking about plans for he press tour, something about flights and hotels, but you stopped paying attention, already getting twitter open and searching for the video. It didn’t take long to find it, the caption proclaiming he who’d caught the footage had noticed you and Ben arrive and had pulled out his camera as soon as he realised things weren’t particularly happy. “Sorry, Mary, I’m gonna have to call you back.” “Everything alright?” “Yeah, just a small mishap with the washing machine. I’ll talk to you later.” As soon as she was gone you pressed play on the video. Filmed from a table to the left of yours and slightly behind your shoulder, the phone tipped at an angle so it wouldn’t be spotted. Your heart pounded as you watched. It was all there, the tension thick enough to cut with a knife as Ben tried to draw you into conversation. You heard the bite in your tone, the confusion in his. And you saw what you’d not noticed in the moment. The way his face fell when you said it was too much. The way his nails dug into his palm as he clutched his fork so tightly. The hurt on his face when you called him clingy and needy. He stood up as you walked away but he didn’t follow, just dragged his hand through his hair and then sat down heavily, worrying at his thumbnail with his teeth. The waiter came over, presumably with the bill but the video cut out before anything more was said. They’d got what they wanted. They didn’t need the aftermath.

The next day there was an unexpected knock on your door. You put down your phone where you were watching the video again and peeked out the window, worried that it was Ben come to confront you. Instead you saw Felicity raise her fist and knock again. “I saw the video,” was the first thing she said when you let her in, “are you okay?” “I wish people would stop asking me that. I’m fine.” “You had a straight up cat fight in the middle of a restaurant, and there are paparazzi practically camping in your front yard, you’re not fine.” “Okay, maybe not fine fine. But it’s whatever. How many are out there?” “Three. But what happened? Last week you told me you weren’t going to break up.” “We haven’t broken up.” “Well then what was that?” “I don’t know. It’s been building for a bit I guess. He’s just more serious about it all than I am.” “So I heard. Are you sure you aren’t just panicking?” “Panicking about what?” “Well, y’know, you’ve been in the tabloids a bit lately. That must put a strain on things. Maybe you just got a little freaked out by it and pushed Ben away rather than let yourself be vulnerable,” “What are you my shrink?” “Hey, I’m just trying to help.” “Yeah well, you’re wrong. The paps are kind of annoying but they aren’t the problem. The problem…” you took a breath as you considered what was safe to say, “the problem is that Ben has been on a different page to me for a while now. I think we both just need some space.” “Okay, if that’s what you want to go with,” she clearly didn’t believe you, “Have you talked to him about it?” “Not yet. Figured I’d call back sometime today when my head was clearer.” She nodded, “Well, I’m here for you. Whatever you need. Moral support when you call him or someone to bitch to afterwards or just somebody to get drunk with.” She pulled you into a hug, squeezing you tight and for a moment you felt like you might cry. All you could think about was Ben’s expression when you walked out, how wounded he looked.

Felicity stayed with you for the rest of the day which was good because her presence stopped you from doing nothing but watching the video over and over again. As it was you found it hard to keep yourself from looking at the comments people left on it. A lot of people took Ben’s side, calling you a bitch or worse, sometimes even direct messaging you their opinions. But there were also those lampooning Ben for smothering you, some going so far as to claim they were early signs of manipulative and controlling tendencies and that he deserved the public humiliation of it all. Those were the comments that made you feel worst. Being called a cunt you could deal with. Being told Ben deserved better you could easily deal with. But seeing such horrible suggestions of Ben being thrown about made your heart ache. He wasn’t mean or manipulative. He’d been nothing but kind to everyone on set and especially to you. Any lingering annoyance that hadn’t left you along with the little you’d eaten seemed to melt away, leaving you feeling cold at the thought of what you’d said. Yes he’d been stupid and selfish to agree to pretend to date you when he actually had a crush on you. But not once had he tried to wheedle a confession of love from you, not once had he pushed himself onto you. He’d always been respectful of your boundaries, warned you before he kissed you, asked if you wanted to share a blanket rather than just assume you did. Even your rules he’d mostly stuck to. The one exception being the cutesy nickname, but you’d never put up much of a fight with that. You only knew that he felt something for you because you’d listened in to a private conversation. And really, could you blame him for developing feelings? You’d literally been cast as lovers because you had good chemistry and then you’d spent weeks getting even closer, made all the more necessary by your fake romance. He was hardly the first person in history to have his on-screen feelings transfer to real life. And surely, if he’d decided to tell his friend everything, even after signing contractual documents about keeping it secret, then he must be serious about you, about how much he liked you. Maybe you had it wrong. Maybe there was something there you hadn’t consi-. “Stop wallowing,” Felicities voice cut through your thoughts, “Put the phone down and stop thinking about Ben for five minutes.” You shook your head to clear it, “I’m not wallowing.” “Are you on twitter right now?” “Maybe,” “You’re wallowing. C’mon, give me the phone.” She held out her hand, giving you had no choice but to hand it over. “Has anyone ever told you you’d make a good teacher,” “Once or twice. You can have this,” she brandished your phone at you and then shoved it into her bag, “back when you’re ready to call Ben. Until then we are getting out of the house.” “Out of the house where?” you asked, letting her pull you from your seat. “Just out. You need some fresh air. Go on, get your shoes.” “Alright, alright, I’m going,” you said, with the first genuine chuckle you’d had in days.

You ended up at the park a street over, sitting on a bench overlooking the duckpond. One or two of the photographers followed you, but they were easy to ignore. As soon as you stopped moving your mind was back on the previous night, but Felicity must have sensed as much for she quickly blurted out a fun fact about ducks to distract you. For the rest of the time you were there she kept your mind on other things. She gave you an extended rundown on all the gossip from her workplace. It didn’t matter that you didn’t know who Derick was, you soon heard all about his tryst with the copy boy, and when you asked if the Susie M who was mentioned was the same Susie M that made out with the boss at last year’s Christmas party you heard all about the fallout from her drunk misstep. Felicity led you on a stroll around the pond as you laughed at her stories and filled her in on what you were hoping your next role would be. “I’ve been sent a couple of interesting scripts. There’s one for a sci fi time travel thing which I’m hoping to get a call back for. And there was one for a comedy about a coven of witches causing mayhem with their potions. I’m only about halfway through the script but I’d happily play any of the three lead witches, so I think I’ll have a crack at it.” “They both sound really good. Different to your last role.” “Yeah. Different’s good though.” Eventually you wound your way towards a small coffee shop opposite the far side of the park. The slice of apple tea cake you ordered was the first food you’d eaten since the few bites at dinner and Felicity didn’t let you leave until you’d finished it, though she was subtle in her insistence. When you put your fork down with food still left on the plate she ordered a second coffee for each of you which gave you little to do but keep eating. You thanked her after but she pretended not to know what you were talking about. It wasn’t until you got home again that she returned your phone. “You should call Ben,” “Do I have to?” “Stop pouting and do it. You’re cute together and you obviously love him. Just suck it up and talk to him.” You let out a heavy sigh and then took the phone back, refraining from rolling your eyes at how wrong she was about your feelings.

You headed out onto the back patio and, with some slight trepidation, called Ben. The call rang out. With a frown you headed back inside only to be greeted by Felicity making chicken noises. “I didn’t chicken out, he just didn’t pick up. He must be busy.” “Or he’s upset. Call back. You can come in after he’s not picked up three times or you’ve had a chat.” “Okay, I’ll try again, jeez,” you went back outside and shut the door behind you. Your second attempt was as unsuccessful as your first and you were just about to hang up on the third try when he picked up. “Hello?” “Hi Ben,” “Y/N,” there was none of the joy in his voice that usually accompanied your name. “Can we talk, is now a good time?” “Yeah,” “Okay, I just, uh, I wasn’t sure since you didn’t pick up straight away.” “Well I wouldn’t want to come across as more needy than I already do.” “I shouldn’t have said that,” you leaned against the wall of the house in the same spot you’d seen Ben lean countless times after you’d told him he couldn’t smoke inside, “I’m so so sorry about everything I said.” “It’s not what you said, Y/N. I get it, we had to fight and you let loose. From an acting perspective I’m actually really fucking impressed. I, uh, I might have watched the video when I got home, just once, and it looks legit. Like, that line about pretending to love me as much as I do you.” You held your breath, waiting for him to ask how you knew. “I mean, that’s exactly what we were going for anyway, just without the details of not having met each other’s families. Everyone still heard us argue about moving at different paces and it was some really great improvisation.” “You think so?” “Yeah absolutely. I don’t think I could have come up with a line like that on the fly. Seriously, if we were allowed to tell people it was fake, that would have fit well on your audition reel.” “So you’re not upset with me?” There was a pause as Ben thought about his next words. “Not upset exactly. Like I said, I get that it was a scene. But the way you sounded when you called me clingy….it was pretty clear there were some real feelings in there too and I,” Ben sighed, “I just wish you’d talk to me about how you were feeling beforehand.” “I didn’t really know how.” “But if I’d known that I was making you uncomfortable or coming across as clingy I would have pulled back. I could have texted less or crashed at your place less often. Not insisted on buying you books on our fake dates.” You scuffed your foot against the ground, not sure whether to come clean about overhearing him. You’d expected Ben to have realised by now that you knew, not to take what you’d said as some incredible performance. “I know I got kinda caught up in it all though,” he said before you could summon the courage to admit anything, “I, um, I really like…” You could feel your heart racing, convinced he was about to confess his feelings for you, completely unsure how to react. “…being someone’s boyfriend.” “Oh,” Why was he so determined to surprise you? Why did you feel disappointed? “It suits me. I like having someone to dote on and take care of and talk to and I guess it’s been a while since I properly, seriously dated anyone. I feel like I’ve got all this boyfriend energy stored up and nowhere for it to go. It comes in handy when we’re pretending to be on a date or whatever but sometimes it slips out when we’re just hanging out as friends, without the cameras and all that. Which isn’t an excuse or anything, I’m not trying to undermine any discomfort you felt.” “No, I get it.” “You do?” “Yeah. I mean, we said it was a weird situation right back when it was first pitched to us. That hasn’t really changed, has it?” “No,” he said with a small, soft chuckle, “still weird.” “Exactly. And sometimes I think it can be kind of confusing.” “Confusing?” You had a sudden mental image of a dog with pricked up ears, “Confusing’s maybe the wrong word. Hard to keep up with is I guess what I’m trying to say. It’s different to acting in love with someone on a movie because on a movie there’s a definite time span. The director calls cut and you can stop pretending. But we don’t get that cut. Even when there’s no cameras we’re still faking it for the people we know and anyone who might see us,” you glanced inside to make sure Felicity wasn’t listening in. “Do you think that’s why you didn’t know how to talk to me? Because there’s no clear line between Y/N and Ben as friends and Y/N and Ben as a couple.” “Maybe,” you shrugged, “I don’t think it helps.” “Yeah. It’s like, obviously there are times when we have to be all coupley and I guess it gets hard to say when something is uncomfortable because then it’s like what about next time we’re out and we have to do that thing anyway. And there are things I’m happy to do with my friends that I don’t think twice about but might carry extra meaning in our situation.” “Exactly. I don’t want to say I don’t like something and make you feel bad when we then have to do it because people are watching.” “So what are you suggesting then?” “Well, we aren’t allowed to see each other in public for a couple of weeks now, right? So maybe this could be a chance for us to take a break. Not in a completely cut off way, I still wanna talk to you and stuff. But if we give ourselves some space, y’know. Try and shake….excess feelings a-and work out our boundaries better.” “Sure, yeah, I can see how that would help.” “It’s just a couple of weeks and like we can still text or call or whatever we just wouldn’t hang out together and it wouldn’t be every day.” “Y/N, I get it. It’s a good idea.” You took a deep breath, “Okay. Cool. Um, so we’re good?” “Of course we are. I-” Ben seemed to stop himself from saying something, instead sighing, “We’re good,” “Good.” There was nothing else to stay but you didn’t want to hang up. Neither did Ben, it seemed, both of you just standing in silence. You could hear faint music playing on his end, like it was coming from another room. Maybe he was in his kitchen, leaning against the bench, the radio on in the next room over. Or maybe he was sitting on his couch, the TV down low so the repetitive game music wouldn’t disturb your conversation. You could see him so clearly, sitting in his usual seat, controller abandoned beside him. You wondered if he could tell where you were. “I guess I should go then,” He said softly, “I’ll talk to you soon.” “Bye Ben,” “Bye cud- Y/N.”

“How’d it go?” Felicity asked when you came back inside. “Alright. We’re gonna take a break from seeing each other so much and sort out how we feel and stuff.” “That sounds good,” “Yeah,” you felt relieved at having had the conversation but it was mixed with a weird sadness you couldn’t put your finger on, making you feel vaguely like you wanted to be sick again. “Why don’t you go lie down for a bit. I’ll hang out and then tonight we can order pizza and watch cat videos or vine compilations or something dumb like that.” “You don’t have to stay, I’m fine.” “Hun, I’m staying. Maybe I’ll take a run to the shop, pick up some ice cream and booze and face masks. Sound fun?” “Definitely,” “Alrighty then, it’s a plan.” You felt slightly cheered by the thought as you made your way to your room and fell onto the bed, not bothering to change or move the covers, but it didn’t stop room from blurring with tears as soon as you were alone.

Keeping the distance between you and Ben was a mixed bag. On one hand not seeing each other meant there was no lingering pressure of another date or photo opportunity weighing on you. But on the other it also meant a queue of TV shows you felt unable to watch since you’d started them together. You didn’t have to worry that Ben would suddenly call you or rock up on your doorstep, unable to keep his affections to himself any longer. But you also missed out on random messages asking if you could remember that song (“you know the one it was from the early 2000s. Went something like…,”) or the way he’d chuck popcorn at you from the other side of the couch until you managed to catch some in your mouth. It gave you a chance to relax without worrying you were leading him on, or that you’d say the wrong thing, or that the rules you’d come up with would be broken. But that was because you barely spoke to him. Your communication was kept to text messages whenever something big happened and not much more. Ben sent you a message when he got a call back for one of the movies he’d auditioned for. You texted him when your neighbour’s dog had puppies, partly because they’d asked if you knew anyone who could adopt one when it was a little bigger, but partly because the second you saw the babies you thought of how much he’d love them. And yes, you were sleeping better without so much pressure and anxiety, but it hadn’t stopped Ben from appearing in your dreams and even daydreams, explicitly so more often than you were willing to admit. Then of course there was the bombardment of emails from family and friends checking in on you after they’d seen the video. It got so out of hand you’d had to make a rare post on your private Facebook account letting them know things were fine, just to get them to stop harassing you. But you couldn’t stop the harassment you were getting from strangers on all your other social media pages. You got into the bad habit of checking all the big gossip mag websites for  stories about you, following them with as much fervour as any fan might. Ben must have had some paparazzi taking up residence on his street too because you saw countless pictures of Ben going about his day – out with friends, walking to Tesco, smoking outside a pub. And every time there was some story attached either about how heartbroken he was or about how he was sneaking off to meet you in private. You coped the same treatment, though sometimes with the added twist of announcing you were pregnant. All it did was make you wish you could have a hug from Ben and talk about it with him. You came very close to buying a pack of cigarettes one day, just so you could burn one and have its scent linger around your house like Ben had brought it in with him. Felicity was brilliant. She found amusement in the unfamiliar photographers, especially when an article appeared with photos of you and her hugging on your doorstep, speculating you’d moved on from Ben already. It wasn’t so surprising that she’d snuck her way into the magazines she so loved to read considering she checked in on you a lot in the first few days. But, as much as you loved her, and as much as she made you laugh, she had her own job and partner to think about and she couldn’t quite grasp what was happening the same way Ben could have. You missed him more than you thought you would, even with all the baggage from his unrequited crush. So much so that the realisation your makeup date was approaching had you grinning as you made your morning coffee, humming the song from his mug.

It was a surprise, though not an unpleasant one, to hear your phone ringing at close to nine the night before the date. You were sitting in bed playing solitaire on your laptop when your ringtone interrupted. Ben was apologetic as he greeted you, repeatedly saying sorry for calling at all. “It’s okay Ben, I really don’t mind.” You said, putting the laptop aside and relaxing back against the pillows. “Are you sure? I should have just emailed you.” “Ben, stop. I’m glad you called. I’ve missed hearing your voice.” “You have?” “Of course I have. I spent two and a bit months doing nothing but listen to you blab, you really think I’d just forget you?” You could hear his smile when he continued, “I’ve missed talking to you too. I figured this would be a good excuse.” “This being?” “Tomorrow night. Peter said he’d send you the info.” “Of course, yeah I got his email. Tomorrow night, meeting at Boucher at seven.” “Yup, that’s the info.” “I was told to dress up and be prepared to smooch.” “Did he say smooch?” “No,” you laughed, “His phrasing sounded a lot stuffier and careful not to create a lawsuit, but I figured that’s what he meant.” “Yeah, um, you’re okay with that?” “Absolutely. It’s a makeup dinner and we’re going to be together for another couple of months so we should play up the romance and the um, physicality and all that.” You tried to ignore the sudden warmth in your cheeks and the memory of your last dream. “Okay, good because I was specifically told about what happens when we leave the restaurant.” “Hmmm I think I remember something about that but again, stuffy non-lawsuit language. Kinda hard to follow at times.” “Basically they want us to make out while we wait for an Uber. Like, proper make out.” “Oh,” “I told them neither of us are public make out people but they’re insisting they need it. Something about it being an obvious indication of getting back together or whatever. And technically we agreed to it when we signed up for this whole thing.” “Thanks for the heads up.” “No worries. Glad I called now, wouldn’t have wanted to just spring that on you. But um, that’s it really, I’ll let you get back to your last night of peace.” “Wait,” you blurted without having anything else to say. “Yeah?” “Ummm, oh! Did you hear anything more about that movie?” “Not yet but Peter said they’re still in talks. Hopefully soon.” “What’s it about?” “It’s an actiony thriller thing. This guy, the role I auditioned for, witnesses a murder and then gets dragged into this revenge mission. I’d get to shoot some big guns and drive a cool car and y’know save the girl, all that stuff.” “Sounds fun,” “Yeah, what about you, any auditions?” “One or two but nothing’s come of them. I sent my reel in for this supernatural comedy about a coven of witches. Too soon to know anything though.” “Well I hope you get it,” “Yeah, likewise.” “Thanks.” You were forcefully reminded of your last conversation when you both lapsed into silence again, neither of you making any move to hang up. You wanted to keep talking but part of you was worried that if you used up all your conversation topics now, you’d have nothing to talk about over dinner tomorrow, and if that happened you were bound to blurt out something you shouldn’t. Instead you just savoured the sound of Ben’s breaths and the odd rustle of clothing as he shifted around. Once again he was the one to break the silence. “Well, as lovely as it has been to chat, I should go. Gotta get a good night sleep so I’m ready to woo you tomorrow.” “You’re not going to bed yet are you? It’s so early,” “I was gonna read or something for a bit actually.” “Have you finished that show we started?” “Which one?” “Any of them? “No. Figured they could wait.” “You wanna watch one now?” “What, over the phone?” “Yeah, we can try to time it so it plays at the same time.” “Uh, sure, why not,” You quickly grabbed your laptop and, after some discussion of which show you were more in the mood for, found the right episode. There was laughter on both ends of the line as you attempted to hit play at the same time, counting down from three between giggles. It took you a few tries but you eventually got them to sync up, more or less. It felt nice to hear Ben’s laughter again, his voice when he sang along with the soundtrack, his comments about the nitty gritty of the production side – odd line deliveries and angles of shots. He was easy to talk to. Though with everything that had happened, everything you knew, just the act of talking to him set off butterflies in your stomach.

It took you well over an hour to get ready for the date. You’d been told to go all out so that’s exactly what you did. With a little help from Felicity so you could get away with a calming pre dinner drink. She gave you a hand choosing an outfit – a dress, short but not too short, classy but eye catching. It had started life as a dress for a movie premiere but after a few years the top didn’t fit quite right so you’d had it altered, the skirt was taken up, cut off and attached to a new top that more suited your current style, leaving you with a slightly shorter and much more you outfit. Glass of Prosecco close to hand, Felicity worked on your hair and offered advice on your makeup. When you were finished and could reveal the full look to her, she squealed. “You’re absolutely going to get laid.” “Shut up. I look alright though? Lipstick’s not too dark?” “Honey, you look gorgeous. I swear, you’re gonna get dicked down in the bathroom of that fancy as fuck restaurant because he’s not gonna be able to keep his hands off you.” You burst out laughing, “Good to know. Not exactly the plan for the evening but at least I’m prepared now.” “What is your plan?” “I don’t really have one, which is not helping me stay calm. I guess just find out if he’s still interested in me. And then work out where we go from there. We talked last night and that was good but I just need to know if he’s, you know, still into me.” “He’s head over heels for you, that won’t have changed. The question is, do you love him?” You wanted to say no but obviously couldn’t so you settled for a soft, “I’ve have missed him.” She hummed with an annoyingly knowing look. “I should be going, the Uber’ll be here soon.” Felicity pulled you into a hug, “Knock him dead, Y/N,” and then, as an afterthought added, “don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” “You first hooked up with your girlfriend because some drunk guy told you he’d buy you both drinks if you made out. There’s nothing you wouldn’t do.” Felicity laughed, “That was just a free drink, imagine what I’d do if there was a fancy French dinner involved.”

You arrived before Ben did. A quick glance up and down the street told you he wasn’t approaching just yet, so you opened your clutch to give yourself something to think about other than the sound of snapping cameras. Phone, lipstick, tissues, compact mirror, three condoms. You laughed to yourself when you saw them and made a mental note to lie about how useful they were when you next saw Felicity. Quick footsteps caught your attention and you looked up in time to see Ben running towards you. “Sorry, I’m late,” he said between breaths, pressing a kiss to your cheek as soon as he was within reach, “My Uber got caught in traffic and I had to make a stop,” He held out a small bouquet of flowers in a variety of pinks, purples and yellows. “For me?” “No for the other girl I’m seeing, of course for you. You like them?” “They’re beautiful,” you took the bouquet and breathed in its sweet scent. “I saw it in the shop and, um yeah, I don’t know, they seemed nice, a-and I know you, um, like nice things, so,” he stopped babbling with a pained expression on his face, for once more visibly nervous than you. “It’s very sweet of you, thank you,” “I’m glad you think so because right now it feels kinda cliché and cheesy. Now you have to carry them around all night, what was I thinking? And god can I just shut up. Sorry.” You couldn’t help but laugh as he scrunched his nose up and ran his hand through his hair, unintentionally endearing, “Calm down, Ben, we’ve done this before.” “I know,” “Let’s just go inside, further away from these cameras, and have a drink, sound good? “God yes,” he nodded and let you lead him through the door up to the hostess stand, managing to pull himself together enough to give her the name of the booking. As expected, she told you to wait in the bar until a table was ready.

Ben downed his first drink in one hit. It made you wonder how hard he was finding it to be around you. Had the space helped him quiet his feeling for you? Or had it just made him want you more? Was that why he seemed so out of sorts, stumbling over his words in a way that was so unlike him. You desperately wanted to find out where he stood but it was impossible without giving yourself away. What you needed was for him to make another phone call you could overhear but the likelihood of that happening was slim. You’d just have to put it from your mind for now. “Better?” You asked Ben as he caught the barman’s attention and ordered a second drink. “Getting there,” He took the new glass and drank, just a sip this time, “You look stunning by the way. I should have said it earlier,” “Thank you, you look very handsome,” He glanced down at the suit he was wearing, “Thanks.” A somewhat awkward silence followed. “So,” you said, louder than necessary, desperate to get him talking like he normally did lest you start to freak out too, “You been here before?” “No. Never even heard of it before Mary and Peter mentioned it. You?” “Same.” You looked around the room, searching for something else to talk about, “Nice though.” “Yeah, yeah, really swanky.” “Bit different from the painting thing,” “Yeah, very. Look I need to tell you someth-” “Mr Hardy? Your table is ready,” You smiled at the hostess, as he thanked her, and followed her towards a table for two, setting your bouquet down to the side. Ben smiled at you from across the table. “You were saying?” you asked, apprehensive and curious. “Oh, um, nothing, doesn’t matter. We’ve got a date to focus on.” “Wouldn’t want all these prying eyes to miss anything,” “Exactly. Cuddle bunny,” You smiled at the nickname despite its ridiculousness and leaned forward in your seat slightly, letting your fingers gently rest against the back of his hand. If he wanted to focus on the date and putting on a good show for the public then that was something you could do, “Babe.” The flush you’d seen creep onto Ben’s face before appeared again and he reached for his glass once more. “So, how have you been?” you asked, pulling your hand back towards you. He looked at its retreat and then back at your eyes, “Good. Got to hang out with the boys a few times last week which was really good.” “Beat them at any more video games?” “They won’t let me anywhere near FIFA at the moment,” “Discrimination,” “That’s what I tried to tell them!” he laughed, seeming to relax a little more, “bunch of babies.” “What about that trip thing you were organising, have you sorted that out?” “Not entirely. It’s with my friend Joe who lives in the States. He was going to come out here but we decided it wasn’t worth it since I’ll be over there soon anyway.” “You will?” “Well both of us will be. Part of the press stuff for The Perfect Match.” “Oh, right, of course,” you giggled and tucked your hair behind your ear. “He’s looking forward to meeting you though.” “I bet he is,” you said automatically. Of course he’d be keen to meet the woman his friend was infatuated with, you would be too. Ben gave you a questioning look but you covered well enough, “I mean, he’d obviously know about us dating so I assume he’d be curious to meet your girlfriend. Especially if we’re having public spats and stuff.” “Right, yeah, definitely. What about you? What’s been happening?”

From there you fell into your usual style of conversation, both of you relaxing more as the night wore on and the bottle of wine you ordered grew emptier. The only difference from normal was the romance of it all, played up as much as possible. Brushing hands as you both reached for the salt, soft smiles and laughs. You even went so far as to twirl a strand of hair around your finger like some love struck teenybopper in a soap opera. When your food arrived you let Ben feed you a bite off his fork. You offered a taste of your meal in return and he held your wrist as he leaned in. A gesture that left you breathless, blinking at him as he slowly withdrew his hand. The wine’s fault probably. You’d polished off the bottle by the time dessert arrived, on top of the drinks you’d had before you sat down. It made you feel looser and you assumed the same of Ben, judging by how different his demeanour was to the nervous, stuttering one he’d had when he showed up. Perhaps that was why, with a spoonful of chocolate mousse halfway to his mouth and no regard for the conversation you were having, he suddenly said, “Can I ask about these last couple of weeks?” “Uh, yeah, what d’you want to know?” “Was it good? The space, did you get what you wanted from it?” You thought for a moment, putting down your own spoon, “Yes. I’m not going to lie and say it wasn’t helpful because it really was. Just, having that break from everything. I think I really needed it. But I really really missed you too.” He smiled at that, looking down at his dessert like he was trying to hide it, “I’m glad. It was hard not seeing you but yeah, helped me figure some stuff out too. Confirmed some other stuff.” “Like what? If you don’t mind me asking.” “Like…um, the thing I said on the phone about enjoying playing the boyfriend. I like having someone special to share things with,” He sighed, “But that’s…not relevant right now. Do you want to get out of here?” You were a little taken aback by the suddenness of the suggestion but agreed, reapplying your lipstick for the cameras while the waiter collected your bill.

Ben wrapped his arm around your waist once you were outside, pulling you close. With the pretext on planting a kiss on your temple he quietly asked if you were ready for the next part. “Lay it on me,” you giggled, feeling warm and light. A second later his hand was sliding down your side towards your bum which set off another wave of giggles. He kept you close as you walked down the street, oblivious to the flash of cameras. Ben kept his arm around you, using the other to open the app and order a car. You stopped when you reached a quiet bus stop, Ben letting you go to sit down, tapping the spot beside him. But his hand wasn’t gone for long, instead moving to cup your cheek as he pulled you into a kiss. “I missed doing that,” he muttered but you were more focused on making it happen again, shifting yourself closer, laying your hand against him, fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt. His heart was pounding under your palm, but it matched the beat against your own chest. You’d forgotten how good he was at kissing but it came flooding back as you opened your lips for him, felt his tongue against yours. His hand was firm on your back, pulling you in but still not close enough. You whined, let him pull you onto his lap, pressed yourself against him, one hand in his hair so he wouldn’t stop kissing you. His hands were everywhere, on your arms and back and squeezing your arse, holding you in place as you arched your back slightly and kissed him harder. A car horn right beside you made you pull away, startled. “Ben?” The older man asked, looking down at their phone, “I’m here to pick you up.” “Shit,” Ben said softly, and then to the driver, “Sorry, yes, that’s us.” You let your head fall forward onto his shoulder for a second, smothering your laughter. “C’mon cuddle bunny,” he said softly, “they’ve had enough of a show.” Your legs felt unsteady as you stood and smoothed your skirt down. Ben opened the back door for you and followed you inside. “So sorry about that,” he said again to the driver. He just laughed, “It’s alright. I remember being your age and completely smitten. You’re that couple I’ve seen online, right?” “Uh, yes, that’d be us, I think” “Well if you wanna keep making out I won’t stop you. Might have to tweet about it though.” Ben laughed, “Thanks but I think we can hold off for a bit.” You looked over at Ben and had to cover your mouth to keep from laughing too loud when you saw the lipstick smudged over Ben’s face. “What is it?” Still laughing you handed ben your compact mirror and the pack of tissues from your clutch. “Christ,” he said softly, “The internet’s going to fucking love this.”

The Uber driver left you at the end of Ben’s driveway with a wink and a have fun. There were paparazzi waiting for you so you grabbed Ben’s hand and pressed a kiss to his shoulder. He led you inside, refusing to let go of your hand even while trying to dig his keys from the opposite pocket. Once you were inside, you placed your slightly bruised bouquet on the hall stand, leaned against the closed door and began taking your shoes off. Normally, after being out together and winding up at Ben’s place, you’d head straight to the bathroom to take off your makeup. He’d go and fetch two glasses of water if you’d been drinking or maybe something warm if the night was cool. You’d change into the pyjamas you kept at his place and then join him in the lounge room, sometimes tucking yourselves under the same blanket, to watch TV until you were yawning and struggling to stay awake. And then you’d wish each other good night and head to your separate rooms. But this time something felt different. You kicked your shoes to the side of the hallway and stayed against the door, watching as Ben pulled his wallet from his pocket, dropping it and his keys next to your flowers. He slowly turned towards you, taking a step closer. And you knew you should move, should dodge around him, make a joke about not needing to take off your makeup since he’d already done it for you but you found yourself stepping towards him too. There was a beat as you both realised how close you were. You heard Ben swallow, watched his eyes move to your lips unashamedly. Later, when you were lying in the dark wondering what the fuck had happened, you’d tell yourself it was the wine. A brief impairment of judgement exacerbated by months of celibacy and an easily suggestable brain. Whether you believed it was another question.

You closed the gap but he was only a second behind, hand back on your waist as his other found your jaw. You wrapped your arms around his neck, let him slowly walk you through the house towards the living room you where you’d spent so many nights joking around. He didn’t stop kissing you while you stumbled through the house, not unless he had to and even then he never went far, his breath hot against your lips. You pushed him down onto the couch and straddled his lap, continuing what had been interrupted, his hands falling back to your arse, pushing up your skirt, squeezing, as you tugged on his hair, making him groan. A single rational thought was trapped in the back of your mind, trying to breakthrough but it was hard to think when Ben was holding you like that, kissing you like that, especially after so long without being touched at all. He broke away to mouth at your throat and it was only then that you had enough time to think clearly. “Wait,” you said softly and then again more insistently. “What is it?” “What are we doing? We can’t,” “Why not?” You shook your head, and pushed yourself off of him, taking a couple of steps back, “It’s rule one Ben,” “We wouldn’t even have to break rule one though, we can just stay here on the couch. No harm in making out if we’ve already done it.” A whine caught in your throat and you took an extra half step back to keep from rushing into his arms again, more rational thoughts pushing through the broken wall and joining the first. You shouldn’t, not if there was any chance Ben still had a crush on you. It wouldn’t be fair. “I’d be good to you Y/N, you know I would,” You shook your head, “You know this isn’t real, right Ben?” “Of course I know that,” “Really? Because sometimes I think you forget I’m not actually in love with you.” What’s that supposed to mean?” You bit your lip to try and stop yourself from saying what you were about to say but it was no use, the words were already half out, “I heard you talking to Joe the night you left your keys at the bar. I know you have a crush on me.” “You heard that?” His eyes were wide, horrified. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to overhear I just needed a drink an-.” “Oh my god,” He sat up straighter and ran a hand through his hair again and you wished it was your fingers mussing it up, “Maybe you should go.” “Wait, Ben, let’s just talk about it.” “Is that why you were upset before the argument? Is that why you didn’t want to see me for the last two weeks?” “I thought some space might help you stop feeling that way.” He laughed at that, “I’m – I’ve been trying to stop feeling like this for months now, since we were filming together, but I can’t, I can’t shake you. I love you. And it won’t go away.” “You love me?” Ben nodded, looking up at you from the couch but you couldn’t meet his eye. “You don’t have to say you don’t feel the same, I know.” You didn’t know what to say, just stood there, frozen in place. “That’s what I thought,” He stood up, chewing on his lip and when he spoke he had to clear his voice to make it loud enough for you to hear, “I, um, I know I just said you should leave but you can’t go yet. There are still paparazzi out there and we’re meant to look like we’ve made up. I’m going to go to bed though and you can stay until they leave or, if you can still stand to look at me, then you’re welcome to stay the night and I’ll drop you home in the morning. I’m really sorry.” You watched him walk towards the hallway, still frozen in place.

#my writing #my fics #ben hardy x reader #ben hardy imagine #i'm fully ready to cop some shit for this one lmao

[sunshine304]

I am so so sorry that it took me this long to continue my LoF watching posts! RL, y’know. Ep 26 felt like a good place to take a breather, as well, so that’s what I did.

 Anyway, let’s move on to eps 27 and 28!

It’s exposition time! Zhou Fei and ChuChu are at a tea house and hear about an army deserter who was trained on the Mountain of the Immortals (has this been mentioned before... IDK), was poisoned and became a monk. A-Fei thinks this story sounds familiar (indeed it does, indeed it does...) and ChuChu remembers having read sth like this in a book (the book of ... Peng Lai? I think?).

Oh look, Huo Fort becomes relevant again! I forgot about them. Anyway, Huo Lintao, who is now the boss and seems to not be well liked basically everywhere, wants to fight Disha and invites people from Jianghu to his Destroy Disha Assembly (God, I just love that name XD). Li Sheng & 48 Strongholds get an invite and he wants to investigate. Huo Fort is also... attacked by random cultivators I guess?

Meanwhile, let’s check in on Yin Pei! He still can’t deal with his internal injury (loss of internal power? still not sure; I’m assuming it’s sth like severe damage to a golden core in xanxia or even complete loss of one) and scours Old Daoist Master Chongxiao’s rooms for the Phoenix Pill, which... I think gives you lots of power but is also really super dangerous? 

This show sure has lots of useful but also dangerous power restoring/improving pills and needles, huh?

Anyway, Yin Pei takes the pill. He does not feel so good. Uh oh.

Li Yan and Yang Jin go in search for A-Fei again – uhm, didn’t A-Fei simply go into town with ChuChu? Why are they searching for her again, other that Yang Jin wants to fight her because one obvious defeat isn’t enough? I'm guessing there has been a time skip again...

Meanwhile, at Disha Manor! Shen Tianshu is nursing his wounded ego I guess, while Chu Tianyu, an older member, is now supposed to take care of all this drama, but he doesn’t really want to because he’s retired. How many weird members of Disha are there?

Oh okay, so Yin Pei goes kinda crazy because of the scabbard since it seems to be gone, takes more of the Phoenix Pills, which is a fucking stupid idea, we get some exposition that this might turn him into a demon of some sort, and then he kills Chongxiao for the scabbard because he thinks that the old master wants it for himself.

Which, you know, isn’t true, but that’s what you get for being so secretive, I guess. Chongxiao actually wanted the scabbard so a forger could make lots of copies of it, so that Yin Pei can keep the original one. *sigh* Well, too late now. Yin Pei also meets that evil guy from way back in ep 7 or 8 who’d fought Chongxiao and Li Sheng, who calls himself the Black Judge (I’m too lazy to look up his name and hope he doesn’t really become that relevant). 

I’m kinda sad that Yin Pei simply seems to go the “Oops I’m super crazy now“ route instead of having a more interesting redemption arc. I also... don’t really know what he wants to do now? He’s got the scabbard of his father... Are there still people alive he could take revenge on? Disha I guess?

But! The song that plays while Yin Pei confronts Chongxiao is awesome! I'm in love.♥

Back to the main characters, thank you! Xie Yun is really ill and freezing, the poison taking its toll. He’s at the same inn as two new characters (noooo, no more characters, have mercy!) Zhu Chen and Zhu Ying of the small Zhu sect, who are there for that assembly. They eye XY and feel sorry for him. We instantly know that these are Good People.

Aaaaaand introducing another new character, Ying Hecong, Poison Doctor! I know he’s relevant because he’s got a poster!

Of course Zhou Fei just misses Xie Yun in that inn. *sigh* But then she meets Li Yan and Yang Jin there, which is nice. 

Yet another new character!  He’s Black Tortoise Ding Kui and has henchman that are dressed in a rather peculiar way. Is this now the same as with that Azure Dragon guy, and I don’t really have to remember him? He’s from the 4 Guardians Mountain (speaking of which, where tf is Mu XiaoQiao!?).

Okay okay I see now. Everyone is in LingLing for that meet up with the Huo family! Madame Nichang is there too! Ah my beloved! ♥ She tells Xie Yun to follow his heart, and not be stupid and only think of his end. 

Xie Yun is all evasive of course, and then he meets up with Cheng Zichen who of course is also there! Because of this he finds out that Zhou Fei is there, too, which puts him into a conflict. Because his running away was going so well, dammit!

On to Ep 28!

Xie Yun hides out in the carriage with Ling Yu of the Feather Robe Troupe, who slyly comments on him running away from Zhou Fei. He’s sad and says that it’s not A-Fei’s fault and that he’s just an unlucky person who is not good for her. T_T Kill me, why don’t you.

A-Fei has learned a lot and notices XY’s ruse, yay go my heroine!♥

She catches him and they fight, and she asks him about the poison. Zhou Fei obviously suspects ahhhh! (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻ But of course when XY seems happy that she was looking for him, she goes all haughty again and is like, “It’s only because of the HYTS!“ (although no it was mainly because of him and she looks light she might burst into tears any moment now, too...)

They get distracted by the procession of Black Tortoise Master walking by and A-Fei knocks XY out. They’re even now! XD

Nice to see the whole gang together as A-Fei drags the unconscious Xie Yun to an inn! ChuChu my beloved! ♥

OMG Li Sheng and Yang Jin getting into this peacock fight! XD Li Sheng scolds his sister and Yang Jin is super pissed about it. Li Yan is looking sooo smug, like “Yep that's my very own protective himbo!“ XD

Then Li Sheng is sent off to find Madame Nichang because she at least might know what to do about Xie Yun.

Ding Kui arrives at the Hui Fort. If I understood correctly... Hui Lintao wants to... kill all the cultivators when they arrive for his assembly? Or just those other cultivators that are randomly attacking him? There's traps in the forest they have go through. He specifically mentions that the traps are set after Daoist Master Chongxiao’s design, so hm might Li Sheng be of great help here later? Anyway, that old guy from Disha is there and seems to find all of this very funny. I’m confused.

Mu Xiaoqiao my love!!!!!!! He’s back!!!!  For about 5 seconds but there he is, looking fabulous! ☆*: .｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆

Ding Kui (who... has left the Huo Fort I guess) wants to work with him and reminds him of his debt to the Huo Fort. I had forgotten about that.

Oh let’s check in for about a minute on Yin Pei, who is still crazy and slaughters some people... uhm somewhere. He also now calls himself the true Master of Clear Light. [at least I think it’s supposed to be his new name?] Nicely written on the door in blood. Okay then.

But the instrumental of his song plays in the background, making all of this much more epic, so it’s fine.

Madame Nichang arrives, is shocked, and states that Xie Yun is poisoned, as A-Fei feared, and he has a year if he doesn’t use his internal force anymore. A-Fei is devastated and we get their love song while she rubs his (supposedly) ice-cold hand. Oh my heart. T_T

Ying Hecong arrives because he wants to see the poisoned guy! XD He has never heard of tact. 

Since A-Fei is desperate she lets him in, and we get some exposition in bits and pieces. Ying Hecong first assumes that XY must’ve been poisoned about a month ago (which fits the fight against Disha, where he used the needle), but wonders how that could be because Lian Sheng (the poisoner known for bone piercing blue) has been missing for a while longer. He lets slip that he isn’t actually a doctor, uhm yeah....

Oh not A-Fei is so sad and crying, nooooo T_T She’s angry at XY, asking why he had to meddle in her affairs and then leave to just die somewhere alone. Oh nooooo.  ಥ_ಥ ಥ_ಥ ಥ_ಥ

(side note: easy scene for Wang Yibo, just lying there the whole time, no lines for once XD)

A-Fei gets the Tianmen Lock from Madam Nichang (a special lock that has a double lock mechanism that is very difficult to open. Md. Nichang actually alludes to this lock being very useful for lovers and I’m like... okay XD). YunFei are kinky as ever, nothing new here – A-Fei is so pissed at XY that she doesn’t want him to have the chance to run away again. XD

Loved how XY complained about the lock destroying his posture. XD And how Zhou Fei’s like, “It’s not my fault you’re bound like that, Li Sheng is to blame!“ while the flashback tells us, that uhm no, he’s not. XD

Ending with A-Fei telling Yang Jin about the Hai Tian Yi Se. Ah they’re important relics it seems. Well whatever. XY listens in.

I really need to keep on watching, it seems stuff is happening.

#legend of fei #you fei #sabrina watches legend of fei #my posts #my gifs

[novaknightwritings]

Setting up for Summer plus a bit of gamer rage.

Yea, that is the joy of seasonal jobs, making sure I got enought to get thought the slower season and I can work in my projects then. 

Well, its the last week of April, May is right around the corner and College for me is out in May 12th, so we are at that last bit of time where I am making sure I got all my money shit set up to get me thought til the end of September because of all things go as planned for the college it should be opening in the first week of September/Last week of August (For move in time). I thankfully should have enought money set aside now that I should be good for that time, its just getting gift cards and prepaying as many of the streaming services for the next few months so I don’t have to worry about the bills. Why did I start doing that? Well this time of the year one of the stores around here does a bonus sale in gift cards do to Mother Day, so I get extra points for going to their shop and spending the money I would be spending in the bills anyway, so it saves me a bit more money to do it this way and by putting the cash in the cards I can insure that I don’t do something silly like spend it in a green screen that is coming over from China (Ok already did that, and its should be here in about three weeks but not like I will be using it a lot before summer anyway).

As for projects, I have gotten a good deal of shit down. Got all the old mowers removed from the house, plus some other things that had been sitting around and needed to be removed that would have costed me cash to drop off. The scarp metal guy can totally have them, I don’t know how to get cash out of the stuff and the places that I know about that took it want me to pay them to get rid of it. Having to do a little work to remove the things myself is worth it instead of paying $32 for someone to take my old and broken AC unit that I would need to have loaded up and brought to that location anyway.

But getting off of that rant, I did mention that there where is a bit of game drama that I needed to rant about. See the issue is pretty much this, I joined a discord WtA game a while ago, and because I know the world and kind of the system behind it (Game is TT and I am used to the MET) I was able to help out a bit and got myself added to teh ST team. That is cool and all, I helped out, did paperwork and other back end stuff as much as I could while trying to balance RL and STing.  Well, while we had a ton of Staff they put me in ST Leave because trying to do stuff and work 60 was a bitch for a bit. I had been able to get them to slowly allow me to do little bits of work for the game so I am not super rusty. And then D-day hit, due to drama that I don’t fully know about (Was at work when this happened and honestly trying to hunt down everyone that was a part of it was just to much work), four of the active ST left the game in about 24 hours and caused a small player bleed as those that had followed the ST to the game also left.

This upset the HST, as none of them had talked to her about leaving (Running Thoery is that ST left do to Burn out or just being tired of Conflict between what the HST and the ST saw as beeing needed for the game) and did it “Behind her back”. Now this shit is a mess, no matter how you slice it and she put out an statement to the game of “Yes, that did just happen, we as ST aren’t fully sure of why that happened but we will work to keep this server going and figure out what we are doing now that its happened.”. The next day Priviate Messages are send out to the ST on leave group to cover the most needed rolls because 24/7 gaming means with no game set times stuff could be happening at any moment. We get that mostly set up within about 10 hours (Time zones be a bitch) Now we come to the big fight/issue, you see the ST that left where the ones that where the most active and the most stressed because the rest of the ST where put in ST Leave by the Storytellers or just hadn’t been online in quite some time. So we had all those plots that the people that had left had left behind, and us with no clue of what they hell they where, if anything was build for them ect ect. So, me with that little time I can get with still doing about 60 hours a week of work am like, “Hey, maybe we should as an ST talk about some of those plots, see what ones we can run, want to run (I mean one of those plots has know had two to three ST running it with not idea that the hell we are doing), and the players may want to do so they aren’t just sitting around soft RP’ing all the time”. This got dropped a week and half ago as a suggestion, because yea with so many ST leaving we have to kind of clean ship, and do to how big one of the plots is not letting the setting reflect that we aren’t at war is kind of a big issue. This sugguestion sat there for all of that time, as me and other ST that had returned talked about it going “This would be a good idea, there was already issues with this plot and this plot”. But the HST is no where to really be seen, but is also the one worried that if we don’t bring new players and such into the game that the server will die out. And I am just over here going, “If we have no plot, there is no reason to play in a game. We need to figure out the issues with the current plot so that there is shit we can run. And then we need people to in fact run this shit!” While the whole time going in about how the side effects of a character personal plot, that where done before the ST leaving may cause a player to die from stupid choices. Something we have allowed to happen in the past, because the player is “New to the System”. Listen, I get it. We are trying to help people learn the system and not be totally assholes while they do it, but there has to be a cut off point that choices that are made have effects. You do stupid, you get stupid back some times. 

[kendrixtermina]

One thing that felt uncomfortable to go along with in the CF route for me was when Edelgard lies about what happened at Arianrhod to her closest allies (Black Eagle Strike Force) and blames it on the church. Can you give some insight as to why she does this? Especially when Edelgard criticizes the church for lying to the people of Fodlan, but isn’t she doing it here?

That’s certainly a moment that is genuinely ambiguous / a valid point of criticism and something I’d laud a whistleblower for exposing if it were a RL politician, but also the sort of realpolitik / appearance management that has taken place in most RL wars. 

Once you’re the leader of anything, allowing panic, division, etc. at bad moments comes with its costs. Of course this is hardly a carte blanche (see: Beating down legit protesters for superficial “order”), but neither is it a factor that can be ignored completely.

At the point of the Arianrhod attack Edelgard was one month away from seizing control of the landmass and ending the large-scale fighting, having one enemy taken out (the Church) and being able to turn all her resources on the other (the Agarthans)

The agarthans at this point know they’re losing control of Edelgard and they’re not stupid enough to have any illusions about her loyalty. So they fire a warning shot to demonstrate their superior weaponry. Arundel makes a thinly veiled threat to fire it on Enbarr. 

Of course at this point he basically gave away his location and allowed Edelgard & Hubert to come up with countermeasures, but they don’t want him to know that yet, their strategy involves that they keep being underestimated, let the Agarthans keep thinking that the “beasts” have no counter for the nukes pointed at their heads. 

But they still destroyed half a fortress killing the ppl inside. If she reveals that she’s got a rogue faction infiltrating her ranks that’s firing frightening superweapons nilly willy, there will be chaos outrage and disunity right before the final battle. If she doesn’t make a statement at all and declares it a mystery, no one will believe it and her own faction will get the blame throughout the country. So what does she do? Pin it on the enemy she is currently fighting anyways. The purpose here is not to reveal the Agarthan situation too early so they can focus on the church for now. 

It’s unclear if this was ever revealed to the public (probably not, I don’t think she’d cause a stir on principle alone) but the ending cards make it quite clear that the Strike Force was let in on the Agarthan situation later and helped her mop them up. 

Yeah, it’s defamation, an indisputable  textbook government cover up and maybe even technically a kind of propaganda, but her casus belli existed before it’s not like she’s basing it on the lie, and in most wars throughout history the factions have hidden or made a spin of failures & mishaps and made the enemy look bad. 

There are certainly many historical examples of such actions creating problems, such as fueling lingering resentments or creating general mistrust that can led to real information not being believed etc. so it’s by no means a safe action that is no big deal and I can see how it could be a legit dealbreaker for some, you certainly weren’t supposed to be 100% comfortable with it, or anything on the CF route, everyone involves is well aware that they’re doing ugly, costly things because (or so they see it) the alternatives are all worse. In that sense it’s the most self-aware one. It’s about actually looking at the bottom line of consequences, not what makes you feel like a hero. 

At the same time, doing things like that that squander her moral credibility genuinely IS a flaw in Edelgard’s leadership style - it’s probably why more ppl didn’t believe her manifesto, “she already lied to us cooperating with these shady guys”, making it look like a ‘he said she said’ situation to the wider public that can’t go & confirm the evidence for themselves. This is why Claude thinks he has a better shot at winning& implementing reforms in VW (”too shady for the ppl to get behind”) - just like Dimitri has no plans and Claude’s secrecy creating mistrust even when his secret plan is utterly benevolent.  Doesn’t matter how altruistic you are if you look suspicious it will have consequences I mean that’s how she loses on the other rouses, everyone ganks up on her cause she antagonized them all with suspicious actions. I’m not saying she’s any more perfect than the other 2. 

but putting that on the same scale as what Rhea did is comparing a candle to the sun. 

And maybe the Kantians in the audience will disagree with me but it can be a bit unhelpful to classify different actions of vastly different consequence and magnitude as “Lies”. There is a common principle (telling things that aren’t exactly true) but different magnitude. Clearly “The Confederacy was all great and glorious” and “I totally didn’t eat my little sister’s share of toffees” aren’t on the same level of immorality. 

Neither is below the “everythings fine and dandy” line but one is a lie about one incident for one clear purpose, and the other is creating a whole fake world view for the express purpose of control, maintaining harmful systems, suppressing any advancement of science & technology... for 1000 years. 

Scale, purpose and consequences are totally different. The arianrhod coverup coming to light would spark controversy & discussion on wether she should have done it under those circumstances; Some might change their opinion about her but overall everyone already knew that she’s not above dirty methods. If you told the average citizen of Fodland about all of Rhea’s lies, everything they know would be wrong. They would go from Adoring & worshipping her to being very confused about what’s true. 

It’s the difference between your average modern-day politician doing backroom deals with diverse industry lobbies to accomplish their other goals, and a place like Saudi Arabia. 

To get perspective here, let’s look at another example: Claude’s deceptions. 

He, too, ultimately wants what’s best for everyone and a lot of the time he decides to fool people to avoid fighting them, I don’t mean to bash him at all, but let’s look at his actions in and of themselves: 

Look at the sequence where he, Hilda & Byleth rope the church into helping them - that’s even more outright with the slimy politician tactics: He tries to downplay alliance involvement though he is totally in control, he says that “getting the church on our side will make fighting the empire look like a moral cause” implying that he doesn’t think it is one but wants to portray it as one to get ppl’s support, we’re told he made lots of promises to the merchants to get them on his side (so like that’s literal lobbyists), he installs Byleth as a figurehead, he tells the church ppl he wants to help them get back their old power when he really wants it to diminish and to drastically reorder the society.

He tells everyone he’ll help them save Rhea but while he still has basic human empathy for her & what happened to her he makes it clear he doesn’t want her to go back to being archbishop... at all. He even does this with Byleth: “Yeah, sure, teach we’re totally gonna save her”  though in their case he tries to hint that she’s not to be trusted for their own good. Despite his dishonesty, he’s actually a very good friend to them imho. (#broTP)

In the end the power struggle between Claude and Edelgard isn’t personal nor a righteous struggle - he’s just taking advantage of the chaos she caused and he needs the seat of power to reach his own goal. He thinks he can do it better and she’s in the way (and to be fair, she thinks the same about him) 

It’s your classic slimy politician: “he’s pretending to be for family values etc thing but really he wants power & is in cahoots with economic interests and he won’t do what he promised” etc. ... except with the plot twist that he’s deeply good and not actually all that ruthless.   In a sense he’s as much a total subverted trope as Edelgard.

So doesn’t he have the right to criticise Rhea either? Or do you see how, while not per perfect, he’s miles better and not remotely the same?

Edelgard isn’t 100% truthful, but by and large, she made her intentions very clear with the pamphlets and stuff (even if it meant antagonizing ppl who were against that) and all her soldiers generally know what they’re fighting for and are going to get out of it if they support her, or what the consequences will be if they fail, even if she kept some of the “how” to herself. 

Which isn’t to say that Claude ever makes ppl act against their interests even if it’s sometimes what he sees as their interests.

Under Rhea’s rule no one knew what the government’s doing, why it’s doing it, or to some degree, even that she IS the government... for 1000 years. There’s some cult of personality going on. She probably genuinely believes that it does benefit the sheeple to be “guided” by her, but she hasn’t even told Seteth about all she’s doing, she’s pretty much accountable to no one.

In terms of honesty, we could probably rank the lords like this: 

Dimitri (a few omissions at worst)

Seteth (lies mostly out of self-preservation)

Edelgard (some convenient secrecy here & there)

Yuri (about the same as El but I’d put him slightly higher for the fake betrayal) 

Claude (no one rly knows what he’s up to, but he gets ppl what he promised them and doesn’t outright betray them)

(very)

(big)

(gap)

Rhea (fake history, isolationist bubble, abuse of power left & right, manipulation, will smile in your face while planning to make you a meat puppet for her mom)

#fe3h #fire emblem: three houses #fire emblem three houses #three houses #edelgard von hresvelg #edelgard

[animalpetcel]

Ideal RHATO

Okay, so I’ve done some thinking. While Red Hood and the Outlaws was an interesting concept; give Jason friends and a team of his own, get him out of the Batfam Shadow, it’s been bogged down by L*bdell spotty writing and questionable Editorial decisions. So I’ve taken the time to think of what I would personally want the Outlaws to be.

First of all, I don’t believe that Jason would be better of if he remained solo. While he does deserve a good solo run other than UtH, the idea of permanently sequestering from creating meaningful, recurring relationships with other heroes is just repulsive to me. He should be allowed to have friends and people to talk to outside of the Batfamily guys, there’s only so many adventures he can have by himself before they all start sounding the same. You could even have him gaining friends as part of his character development.

Okay! So let’s begin

In my version, the Outlaws would be a more obvious antihero team. They take cases by those who feel that regular heroes can’t help them, that they won’t go far enough to achieve justice. The Outlaws won’t kill often, but it would usually be awful criminals like drug dealers, traffickers or those in charge, but if they don’t kill, they won’t be above dissing out harsh, lasting punishments to those who cross them. There could be the possibility of them being a team looking for redemption, but I’ve never really thought about them going in that direction.

Btw: This will be a hard reboot, everything from New52 to Rebirth regarding RHATO will be completely retconned, because Lobdell wrote almost all of them and despite what people want to believe most of it is bad save for some barely passable moments

Outlaw Members

Jason Todd

Can’t have the Outlaws without their infamous leader. Like I said above, I believe that having his own team can be a good thing for Jason, he can establish a history disconnected from his history with Bruce and actually start to move on. I’d imagine him being a reluctant leader, preferring to work alone but admitting that having people to rely on has made his mission a lot easier. He’s a very driven and calculated person, and after reading Arkham Knight Genesis, I have no doubt in his leadership skills and his ability to turn a ragtag group of antiheroes into a team to be reckoned with.

Idk if I’d keep his All-Caste stuff. I know that it was probably created to give his backstory something that stands out, since he’s the third Batfam member to have the League of Assassins in his backstory and isn’t the only one that’s died before, but he barely uses the All-blades or brings up the All-Caste to the point were you can omit it and don’t really have to do that much to replace it. At this point, I’d accept Talia making him train with Brother Blood over the All-Caste.

I’d probably say that the Lazurus pit Talia used to bring him back was kinda special, giving him a minor healing factor and increasing his strength, idk, something small.

Eddie Bloomberg

(I hate Tom King and this dialogue too but I wanted a recent image of him)

Did you know that unlike Roy Harper, Eddie was actually Jason’s best friend pre-reboot? Most people don’t because DC doesn’t care about using pre-established canon or developing its less popular heroes! 🙃

Okay, I used to be a huge fan of Jason and Roy’s friendship in New52 RHATO, but then I learned that Roy was originally Dick’s friends, that his personality was dumbed down for New52, Roy actually hates mercenaries and would never become one, they only used Roy because he was more popular and that most Titan/Roy friends actually hate his New52 counterpart and friendship with Jason. While I believe that Roy and be both friendship with Dick AND Jason (but in different ways. Dick is more of a close friend while he and Jason should have a more big brother kind of relationship), I have to admit that DC dropped the ball here, and it would be easier to just scrap everything instead of trying to make it work.

Eddie’s personality is actually quite similar to New52 Roy’s, and he and Jason already have unexplored history, so switching Roy with him won’t mess anything too much.

And now, I hear you ask “Ani, what about the Outlaw’s being an antihero group? Wouldn’t that make Eddie stand out?”, and I will reply “Don’t worry, I have a plan!”

Back when Eddie first got his powers, Neron, the king of hell at the time (?) wanted Eddie to be his protege, but Eddie refuses. But what if Neron was more forceful? Eddie could be offered, now powerless again because of the events of TT (but his death is retconned to just getting badly injured), to become Neron’s protege once again. With nothing left to lose (his relationship with Blue Devil is still in the fritz, Teen Titans no longer seem to give a damn and Rose & Jaime is still off doing their own things), he takes it. I guess he’s probably look different with more of Neron’s power coursing through his veins, but the point is that Outlaws become a “Fall from grace” for him. He’s trying to still be a hero, but as Neron’s influence continues to grow, his ability to tell right from wrong gets more and more clouded.

He’s the one to approach Jason with the idea of being a team, wanting to relive the “Good Ol’ Days” when they were younger and less bogged down with personal trauma. While Jason is reluctant, he admits that since being self-exiled from the Batfamily that it’s been kinda lonely, so he agrees, but only short-term. Eddie then segways into the next member of their burgeoning group–

Rose Wilson

While pre-reboot, Rose and Jason did not have the friendliest interactions, with her holding a blade to her throat while his brothers threatened him with a crime he never committed. Post-reboot, he and Rose seem to have a more “friendlier” relationship, but the Wilson family have been rebooted at least theee times in both New52 and Rebirth, so who knows if they even still know each other now,

Rose and Eddie were very close friends in Teen Titans, and I think that getting Rose away from the madness of her family and father could be good for her character.

Eddie manages to convince her to join the “Outlaws”, but like Jason, she goes into it thinking that it’ll be a one-time thing. She cares a lot about Eddie, and sticks with the team to make sure that he’s doing alright. She probably could have an arc were Nightwing confronts her on her work in the Outlaws (since the other heroes see them as white-hat mercenaries) since he mentored her in being a hero, so it could be about dealing with what other people expect of her.

Essence

While L*bdell might be basically a shit writer, he does create interesting concepts. With a better writer, Essence could be a very interesting character, watching from the shadows and judging whether or not the Outlaws are actually “good” people, before she eventually starts taking a more active role in helping them punish criminals.

While she would at first interact solely with Jason, asking him questions about his deeds and ordering him in what direction she feels is best, she would eventually introduce herself to the rest of the group. I think she’d get along best with Komand’r, while the others might test her absolutism, Black-And-White morality a bit.

Rankorr (Jack Moore)

I know that there’s some people who want Guy Gardner to be Jason’s lantern, but what about a lantern who is close to Jason in age and actually fits the Outlaw theme?

Jack Moore is a Red Lantern, not only a Red Lantern, but the first human lantern who is also the first Red Lantern to be capable of creating constructs. He struggles with his rage, and deep down, he wants to enjoy a normal life on earth.

Maybe after Red Lantern (retconning Lobo or if not, he’s brought back using Red Lantern Blood Magic), he decides that the RL’s are a bit too cult-like for him and tries to lay low on Earth, finishing his literature degree and opening up a small bookstore somewhere in London. He’s close with Guy, but still can’t/refuses to let go of his rage, so Jack is still a RL

Of course, keeping his rage at bay is hard work, and after witnessing police brutality one more time, he loses control.

The Outlaws were hired by the family of the victim to make the officers see justice, but after seeing Jack work, they realize that this might be their easiest case yet.

Afterwards, Jack tries to downplay the entire thing (before resorting to threats when the Outlaws won’t listen), but Jason eventually convinced him that his talents would be wasted just being a civilian (and that his rage will only get worse if he continues to just let it boil without an “outlet”) so he joins the team

Blackfire

I’ve read Komand’r’s backstory, I know how bad it looks. However, in a medium where retcons and reimaginings are features instead of bugs (and can benefit a character’s story if done right), I really think it could be possible to make her work.

After reading New52 RHATO, I began thinking that it could be so much better if not only Eddie took Roy’s spot, but also if Komand’r took Starfire’s, since I feel like she had more potential beyond “Kori’s evil disabled sister”, “War Criminal” and “Struggling queen of Tamaran”

First, I’d change her pre-reboot backstory so instead of taking over the Gordanians, she is instead captured by them after Starfire frees her from the Psions (Komand’r still hates her sister and refuses to follow her). Through her clever mind and manipulations, she manages to earn favor with Lord Damyn, feigning romantic interest. Of course, given Komand’r’s nature, she ends up killing and replacing him, but her rule doesn’t go over well and she is again recaptured, but this time she’s brought to Earth.

Realizing that she’s now trapped on the planet whete her sister has become a successful and popular hero, Komand’r is at first angry, and then conspires to free herself and take revenge on her sister (who she still blames for everything despite that not being the case).

The Outlaws bust the alien trafficking ring, and Komand’r, seeing her chance, decides to show off and make nice with them to eventually use them for her revenge.

She finds Eddie and Rankorr easy to manipulate, but she bumps Heads with Jason whenever she tries to take his role as leader away from him and finds Rose’s mind to be “weak”. Overtime however, she bonds with Jason over feeling inferior to their siblings, realizes that her anger shares Rankorr’s intensity, and grows a genuine friendship with Rose and Eddie

Oh yeah, and maybe she tries to make things right with Kori

Artemis Grace

What would the Outlaws be without the greatest Amazon to have ever lived? Nothing, that’s for sure.

While I don’t agree with Jaytemis (at least not yet), I have to admit that Jason would be a fool not to like her. She’s a cool, confident character with a lot of interesting lore behind her.

Her joining will probably be pretty close to canon. The Outlaws are tasked with going after Black Mask, and Jason decides to go undercover, as the Red Hood still has his fingers in various criminal pies. While investigating, he runs into Artemis, who is looking for the Bow of Ra, and rest is history.

I feel like she’ll get along really well with Rose and Komand’r and maybe she’ll date one. She’ll definitely view Eddie a bit dismissively, and she isn’t a huge fan of demons. Rankorr would probably come off as stuck up to her.

Bizarro

Anyone who knows me will know that I’m am not a huge fan of Bizarro clones. I consider them to be an overused concept (that sometimes feels as if it relies on gene superiority, but idk if I’ll ever fully process my dislike for them), and the fact that as the time I’m writing this, there are at least four currently in continuity does not enamor me with the concept more.

However, after re-reading RHATO a few times, I’ll admit that the Outlaws’ Bizarro has grown on me. Since he already kinda has a unique name (Bizz), all I think he needs is a more visually distinct costume (doesn’t even have to directly reference Superman, but I can go 50/50 on the backwards “S”)

The Outlaws getting Bizz is exactly the same as canon. I’d imagine that he and Eddie would be as close as brothers. While Rankorr might find Bizz’s way of thinking and speaking to be annoying, I’d think that Rankorr will eventually warm up to him and probably teach him how to read and help Artemis teach him. Komand’r and Rose will probably be less receptive to him, but who knows

August Heart

I’m a Godspeed fan first and human second, we’ve been knew.

In all seriousness, Godspeed is the perfect Rebirth era character for RHATO and the fact that he and Jason still haven’t met is why DC doesn’t have any rights.

Okay okay, but he’s honestly a perfect fit. Like Jason, he also kills when dealing with crimes, but he isn’t so good and knowing who’s guilty and who isn’t just yet.

This will probably be after Death of the Speedforce, with August finally making things right with Barry, but still not forgiving himself for everything that happened. Deciding to self-exile himself rather than go back to Iron Heights, August travels, trying to figure out what do to do next, trying to follow Barry’s rules (which he finds to be very wishy-washy) to the best of his ability.

Eventually, he learns that Black Hole is still running, and against his better instincts, he goes after them.

His trail of lightning destruction catches the eye of the Outlaws.

Barry, realizing that his best-friend might need someone who can actually be there all the time to help reign him in, Barry goes to the Outlaws and asks them if they can help him once they catch up to him

They do in the form of offering a spot on the team.

August is very self-assured (even if it is hiding a softer, more emotional center), but has proven to be able to work with others, so I can see the other Outlaws coming to like him. They might find him a little cocky/early to jump the gun, but still a trusted and valued member of the team.

Since every Robin has their own flash, it only makes sense to finally give Jason (and have them date) a speedster of his own, and it should be someone who fits his morals, and who else could Then the speedster fans literally call “The Red Hood of the Flashfam”?

Final Thoughts

Other possible members I would consider/accept are

Eradicator Superman

Koryak

Vanessa Kapatelis/Silver Swan lll

Simon Amal (Crux)

Danny Chase

Clone!Roy Harper

Connor Hawke

Orm Marvius

Man O’ War

Lagoon Boy

Scarlet

Zachary Zatara

Thomas Merlyn

Ragman

Bleez

Walter West

Even with a cast as sizable as the one I just listed, with a good enough writer, there could still a few minor side characters. I would personally want the them to be

Scarlet: Jason’s former sidekick. She could be either a civilian who he talks to get experience some normalcy or the leader of her own version of the Outlaws made of up the Generation Outlaws we meet in RHATO #37-40. Either way, it could contrast with Bruce and the way he (mis)treats his own sidekicks and family

Zachary Zatara: Eddie’s old friend who helped him get his devil powers. Zachary would definitely be worried over Eddie once again accepting Neron’s power and will want to try to help. Whether he suceeds or not will depend if the writers want to go in that direction

Isabel Ardila: She’s a nothing character, but there’s a small chance that with a better writer, she might gain an interesting personality or an actual purpose in RHATO

Talia Al Ghul: before the reboot, Talia was Jason’s mentor figure and even gave him a cool dagger. It would be so cool if we can bring that back and erase Morrison’s problematic charactization of her. Maybe the dagger she gives Jason could be an All-Blade or smth. They’d definitely take a few cases from her however

Batfam, Titans and respective groups: it would have to happen eventually. It could lead to some interesting, angst filled conversations. And who knows, maybe they’ll actually make progress with their issues

But this post has gone on long enough. I just really wanted to talk a bit about my ideal Outlaws team that I will never see anywhere except for my dreams because mass media hates me and DC still thinks that Lobdell deserves to write Jason 😔😭

#rhato #red hood and the outlaws #jason todd #eddie bloomberg #rose wilson #essence (dc) #rankorr #jack moore #komand'r #artemis grace #artemis of bana mighdall #bizarro #august heart #godspeed #jaugust #redspeed #jaygust #my post #long post #i have a lot of rhato feelings okay? #danny chase #simon amal #crux #eradicator superman #koryak #outlaws

[arofili]

saved post, ignore this

(don’t reblog this)

Smut4Smut Prompts

I didn’t intend to write an actual letter, I just wanted to paste my prompts into the description box for this exchange, but then I got long-winded (as usual) so here are the prompts that were too long for AO3 to handle! If the prompts did fit into the box they’re not going to be here, and I am not restating my DNWs/Likes/etc; that’s all readily available in my AO3 signup.

~~~

Canon Russingon Prompts

(These are optional - if you have a different idea, go for it!)

This is my “Russingon in canon” request, though if you’ve got a canon divergence AU, be my guest.

BDSM - A doms B into being nicer to/taking better care of themself: This just screams Russingon to me. Maedhros asking for Fingon to be cruel to him and Fingon using kindness as the greatest cruelty because Maedhros hates himself so much...

Character Bottoms Who Normally Tops, Character Tops Who Normally Bottoms, Role Reversal: I’m a sucker for role reversal, especially with these two. I lean toward Maedhros bottoming more often than not, but however you prefer their dynamic is completely fine.

Can't Stop Thinking About It - A Accidentally Sees B Naked, Can't Stop Thinking About It - A Hears B Masturbating and Moaning A's Name: I think I’ve written both of these scenarios for these two but I would LOVE to read another take on them! Mutual pining in Valinor? :)

Characters mutually pining finally get together and have amazing sex, Filthy Sex With Feelings,: I just love this in general, and Russingon having filthy but extremely loving sex is my very favorite thing <3

Characters Experiment With Sexy New Ways To Use Detachable Body Parts: Maedhros’ prosthetic. Enough said.

Characters React To In-Universe Smut Written About Them: Listen, someone has GOT to have written some Russingon smut in-canon, that’s just statistically likely. The sillier and less accurate it is, the better, especially if it’s countered with them having the kind of sex they prefer in...protest? Or maybe trying out some of the dumb things, lol.

Cock Slut, Slut Praising: bottom!Maedhros tbh.

Crown kink, Fealty, Throne Sex: The “Fealty Kink” tag is literally half Silm fics, and half of those are Russingon fics. Add some more?

Dom/sub - not 24/7 but reflecting RL power roles: Very much related to the above. Liege/vassal kink? Yes please!

Domesticity - Sex In Bed Before Sleep: Just. Soft married Russingon. ;-;

Devotion: THEY JUST LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH AND WOULD (AND DO) DIE FOR EACH OTHER. AHHH.

First Time: I am SUCH a sucker for first times. Could be their first time together at all, or their first time doing a specific sexual act, or their first time in a certain situation (post-Angband, post-rebirth, etc...)

Getting Together: Another thing I really really love in almost any form, especially if there’s been mutual pining before this.

Fluff and Smut: Russingon just loving each other SO DAMN MUCH...bonus points if there’s some baby Gil-galad fluff involved before/after the sexytimes?

Hurt/Comfort Sex: Their lives are so depressing that there’s so many times this could apply. Right before Formenos? Right after the Darkening or the First Kinslaying? Post-Angband/Ice? Post-Bragollach? Or any other time things get angsty (aka all of canon)?

Magic - using telepathy to cause other person to orgasm: Soul bonds. Dom Fingon. Yes please.

Morning After (Incredible Sex the night before): Fluffy good times. Maybe after their first time, back in Valinor?

Mutual Masturbation With Intent to Watch Each Other in Lieu of First Time Sex: Another fic I have definitely written before but would LOVE to see again! This would make the most sense in a LaCE context, I think.

Mutual Pining: I’ve mentioned this a billion times already, you get the idea.

Praise Kink: Maedhros has a praise kink, that’s just canon. This can be fun and slightly embarrassing in Valinor...or really intensely emotional post Angband. Or post-rebirth...oof.

Pregnancy - Sex to Conceive Heir: Just where DID Gil-galad come from, hmmm? (Trans mpreg is wonderful; I’m not interested in cis mpreg. Either one of them could be trans, I enjoy both.)

Reunion Sex: They’re basically in an LDR in Beleriand, give me some Fingon visiting Himring or Maedhros visiting Dor-lómin and just how horny and desperate they are for each other after being separated for awhile.

Scar Worship: Finno post-Angband finding Mae’s scars Extremely Sexy?

Secret relationship between members of feuding families: This is literally just canon. Lean into the Romeo and Juliet style Valinor shenanigans!

Sex After Taking Revenge on Someone Who Wronged Their Partner: Husbands who murder orcs together and then fuck while still all nasty from battle :)))

Sex Toys - Character Fucks Themselves on a Dildo While Performing Oral Sex: I just think Mae giving Finno a blowjob and fucking himself at the same time would be really hot, okay?

Size - Size Difference: I do love bottom!Maedhros, but I also love size queen!Fingon, and I think they both really enjoy the size difference :))

thank god you're/we're alive sex: I bet this happened SO many times after battles in Beleriand. This could also apply to right after the Darkening, and would be just HEARTRENDING right after the First Kinslaying...

Soul Bond - Sharing Physical Pleasure Through Soul Bond: I am very fond of this trope! Also like. Them feeling how much they are loved through each other’s eyes. Ahhh. But also like, Mae getting off on how good he’s making Finno feel. Or vice versa.

Character A hurts Character B (at their request) during sex but Character A immediately regrets it, Character Thinks Rescue Has a Price Tag, Sex gets paused to deal with PTSD then maybe returned to, panic attack during sex: These are some angstier options! I would love a fluffy/happy story (or a hurt/comfort story) but if you wanted to go a bit darker route here’s some ideas. Just. Post-Angband Mae with no self worth and/or consent issues, Finno having a hard time dealing with Mae being masochistic, Mae flashing back to Angband...all of these are some really juicy ideas.

~~~

Modern Russingon Prompts

(These are optional - if you have a different idea, go for it!)

This is my “Modern AU Russingon” request - though if you see a tag here that you think could be applied to canon, that would be awesome too.

Trans Male Character: Lots of these tags would have at least one of them being trans, which I’m also super happy to see in canon-compliant fic, but I know for me it feels a bit easier to me to write about trans stuff when I don’t have to worry about terminology not fitting the setting, so I put them here.

Cunnilingus to relieve period cramps, PiV With Trans Male Character, Sex Toys - Character Fucks Themselves on a Dildo While Performing Oral Sex, Sex Toys - Giving a Blowjob to a Dildo or Strap-on, Sex Toys - Strap-On: Just all some very excellent stuff if you want to go the trans route. I imagine the strap game would be next level with these two.

Characters mutually pining finally get together and have amazing sex, Filthy Sex With Feelings, First Time, Fluff and Smut, Getting Together, Morning After (Incredible Sex the night before), Mutual Pining, Praise Kink, Size - Size Difference: I requested all these tags for the canon prompt too, this is just the same stuff but modern, where they get to be dorky about how much they’re in love, minus most of the angst.

Character with Low Self-Esteem has Self-Worth Affirmed Through Tender Sex: ...but not minus ALL the angst. Just. Mae having had bad experiences in previous relationships and Finno being extremely tender and loving to him, AHHHH.

Getting off on how much partner trusts them: And this could be the other side of the previous request - Mae is trusting Finno even after all the bad stuff he went through and that’s very sexy to him.

Good Boy/Good Girl Kink: This could apply in canon too but if you want to do the trans thing, it could also be a gender affirmation thing.

Impact - Friendly ass slap unexpectedly turns character on: Mae is mortified that he’s into spanking, Finno is delighted.

romantic sex: This didn’t fit into the previous request but YES PLEASE. Just. They love each other SO much.

~~~

Russurgon Prompts

(These are optional - if you have a different idea, go for it!)

OKAY wow I love this ship, it’s so incredibly fucked up and angsty, hell yeah. This is one request where you really don’t need to bother with anything fluffy or a happy-ish ending, just go full on angst mode, please! Basically, I just think it would be very fun and horrible if Mae seduced Turgon for political reasons post-Nírnaeth when they’re both grieving Fingon :)))))

Character Bottoms Who Normally Tops: I can see Turgon having a hangup about bottoming...which Mae is fine with but one day they get into a Very bad argument and Mae like, puts Turno in his place. (No non-con though. Dub-con would be okay here.)

Characters about to kill each other decide to fuck instead: Kinslaying averted by sex!

Dirty Talk - Character A Gets Off on B Relaying Their Sexual Exploits: Just. Mae growling in Turno’s ear all the filthy things he would do with Fingon and Turgon HATING it and especially hating how hot it is.

Enemies to enemies who fuck, Enemies With Benefits, Frenemies with Benefits, sex between enemies, Sex between rivals: Basically all the same thing. These guys do NOT like each other but they’re fucking anyway.

Fucked with the hilt of a weapon: Look idk man just. Turgon being really mean to Maedhros after a post-battle argument or something?

Grudging/Horrified One-Sided Attraction To Someone Who Annoys You Deeply: I think this would be funny if Turgon realized he was into Mae (honestly, at any point in time, not just post-Nirn?) and that maybe the reason he was so mad about Fingon dating Mae is because he was jealous...lmaooo

Hate Sex Turns Unexpectedly Tender: Like. A moment of understanding between them. That they both refuse to talk about after it happens.

lord/retainer, Political Alliance Confirmed with Sex, Political Debate as Foreplay, Sex as a Negotiation Tactic, Sex As Part Of Diplomatic Negotiations: POLITICAL SEX. It’s showing that they’re serious about this alliance...nothing else, just that...right?

sex as self harm, Sex as Unhealthy Coping Mechanism, Sex as Grief Processing: This could work for both of them but I think it especially works for Maedhros. He unlearned a lot of fucked up shit with Fingon after Angband, but now Fingon’s dead and it’s all coming crashing back down on him...and Turgon hates him so much that if he can tell, he doesn’t care.

A using B as replacement for C who is not present: This is exactly why Mae would fuck Fingon’s brother.

~~~

Anairë/Fëanor/Fingolfin/Nerdanel Prompts

(These are optional - if you have a different idea, go for it!)

OKAY so I don’t like sibling incest EXCEPT for Fëanor/Fingolfin, pretty much, just because the love-hate stuff with them is SO juicy. But I also hate how most FëaNolo fics depict their relationships with their wives, so I would just love it if they were all a polycule or had a foursome or something that didn’t end up with Fëanor and Fingolfin leaving their wives.

Bisexuality: They’re all very hot and they’re all very into each other. Gender who?

Breeding Kink - as dirty talk without risk: Look Fëanor and Nerdanel had SEVEN kids, I think there was probably some kind of breeding kink there...Fëanor applying this to Fingolfin, though? That’s hot. Or maybe he’s dirty talking with Anairë while Fingolfin is Right There.....yesss. But again, no risk, because elf pregnancy is always very intentional.

Character A and Character B Mutually Pine For Each Other While They Fuck Other People Together: Fëanor and Fingolfin just absolutely refusing to acknowledge their feelings even when they’re having sex with each other’s wives.

Double Anal Penetration, Double Penetration - Vaginal and Anal, Double Vaginal Penetration: I just think it’s hot. You can mix up who’s penetrating who, give the ladies some strap-ons or mess around with gender, if you like.

First Time - Getting Pegged: Fëanorians get pegged, it is law, so probably not Fëanor’s first time but... Nerdanel pegging Fingolfin? Or Fëanor and Nerdanel showing Fingolfin and Anairë how it’s done? OR since let’s be real Fingolfin ALSO probably gets pegged regularly, Anairë and Nerdanel fucking each other while their husbands watch, and it’s their first time with another lady.

First Time Having Sex Postpartum: I imagine Nerdanel is unfazed by what pregnancy does to the body, but maybe Anairë isn’t, and her lovers all get together to show her how much they still love her after like, Argon is born?

Fucking Someone While Being Fucked By Someone Else: All the fun things you can do with multiple partners...

Grudging/Horrified One-Sided Attraction To Someone Who Annoys You Deeply: I must admit I missed the “one-sided” part of this when I picked this tag - but maybe they think it’s one-sided but it turns out that it’s not? Regardless, this is exactly how I see Fëanor and Fingolfin if they’re in a ship situation.

Sexy Shenanigans at a Masked Ball: Anonymity allowing a secret relationship to be slightly less secret!! Everyone is like “wow who is that tall fellow dancing with Prince Fëanáro?” or something like that!

~~~

Taeglin Prompts

(These are optional - if you have a different idea, go for it!)

Now this is my rarepair that I completely understand why it’s a rarepair, but also like MATCHING CURSED SWORDS. I generally think of this ship in the context of a “Túrin goes to Gondolin with Tuor” AU, BUT it could also be a “Aredhel and Maeglin go to Himlad, and then follow Celegorm and Curufin to Nargothrond and stay after they get banished” AU, but that’s a bit more convoluted. Or you can have them meet each other on one of Maeglin’s journeys away from Gondolin, or whatever other take you’d like to explore.

Both parties are pining for someone else: Túrin missing Beleg? Or both of them being in love with Idril and upset about her choosing Tuor instead, lol.

In Captivity Together, Bad guys think they made them do it but they really just enabled them: Túrin gets captured alongside Maeglin...or maybe Maeglin gets captured earlier, at the same time Túrin is after Amon Rûdh? (In that case it would probably just be “Bad guys made them do it” without the qualifier because they haven’t had the chance to Pine.) Basically, they finally have an excuse to fuck, and it’s not ideal, but hey they’re gonna take it.

Realizing romantic feelings mid-sex: “Oh FUCK I actually like this guy. Shit. Goddamnit.”

Mating Cycles/In Heat: Maybe heats are an elf thing, and Túrin remembers how Beleg would get, so he knows how to help Maeglin...and it’s not like Maeglin was going to ask anybody for help, he was just planning on suffering through it (again?)...

~~~

eta: an anon asked about smut likes and i was like oops i didn’t make that list so here’s some stuff i enjoy. otherwise just see the kink tags i requested

anal sex, vaginal sex, oral sex (basic but yknow)

fingering

frottage

very romantic sex (especially for russingon)

nonromantic sex (i like aro takes on characters)

trans characters whose gender is affirmed during sex

trans characters without much physical dysphoria

reunion sex

first times!!

hurt/comfort sex

political sex

fealty kink, liege/vassal dynamic

mutual masturbation

double penetration

russingon stumpfucking

dirty talk

healing from trauma through tender sex

dealing with trauma through rough sex

teasing, begging

dramatic miscommunications that get cleared up (such as mutual pining, very brief worries about consent, etc)

praise kink (especially for maedhros)

size kink (especially for fingon)

telepathy/osanwe

dom fingon/sub maedhros

hair kink

possessiveness but ONLY for russingon

sharing a bed

maedhros getting spanked......

role reversal, switching

#tmi anna #exchange letter

[antarestyl]

PTA Sans: The one with Mrs. Smith

Summary: Sans is still waiting for the other shoe to drop and well... he has some interesting conversations in this.

AO3-Link

IT'S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE!

I am sorry it took again so long. RL and writers block kinda made things very difficult but I had a few days off now and well... Christmas time always makes me nostalgic for this AU. I was to thank all of you who left Comments or gave Kudos. Thank you so much, you always gave me the motivation to return to this AU again and again.

All of you have fun with the chapter and have some wonderful holidays and a happy new year!

To be honest, Sans was a bit skeptic when things went unusually right and smooth. There were no strange after-effects from creating Azzy. Asgore and Toriel kinda coped with Azzy being around and being Azzy, Toriel kinda-sorta forgave him for lying to her, Frisk was overjoyed to have Azzy back and as something like a pseudo-sibling...

Hell, he even dunked Linda a few times again and it was GREAT. (Even with Linda being strangely more manageable these days. Guess she CAN learn after all. She still gave as good as always thou. )

Still, something inside him waited for the other shoe to drop. He waited for the humans to turn around and declare war on monster again seal them Underground. He waited for the officials to come down on Toriel's head and close her school. He waited for something to come and steal his stars or his life, for Toriel to realize that he was just a miserable bag of bones or for Papyrus to finally have enough or...

Or to wake up again in Snowdin.

He really really didn't like thinking like that. He KNEW it was a bad way of thinking, something he realized after months of therapy and something he had under control... most of the times.

It seems with everything that happened he was still a bit on the edge.

He felt it in his bones when he worked in his home office, when his fingers were a bit to tense to type quickly. He felt it when his magic seemed to ripple like waves when he wanted to do small delicate levitation work. He felt it when his magic took just a second to long to dissolve his food into magic at dinner, making him eat just a bit slower than usual.

Luckily, he was not the only one noticing these things.

So when he went to bed about three weeks after Azzy joined them for the PTA meeting, he was kinda surprised when Toriel pulled him into herself. Sans looked up and even in the dim light he saw her looking down at him with concern. It was hard to look at her expression like this.

“Uh...” Sans said, not knowing how to go from here.

“Knock knock.” said Toriel, making Sans blink more but answer just out of instinct.

“Who's there?”

“Water.”

“Water who?”

“Water you thinking in your skull, huh?”

Sans laughed a bit at that, Toriel joining in with her giggles.

“But seriously, Sans.” she said finally. “You seem a bit... distant.”

“I uh...”

“And tense.”

“What can I say, I am all bones, I am bound to be a bit... stiff.”

Toriel chuckled a bit and nuzzled him a bit. “I mean it Sans. Something is on your mind. … talk to me.”

And there they were, the three words that struck Sans more than anything. Not I love you not Let me help, no. Talk to me was the one that let his soul do a little jump. He didn't want to. Honestly.

He had to, had he?

“I... I really dunno, Tori.” Sans mumbled out, turning so he could bury his face into white soft fur. “I just... I feel...”

There was a soft paw on his head again, petting him and this shouldn't feel so nice and this shouldn't sooth him so much but it did. Toriel didn't even SAY anything but her touch and intent and the subtle touch of magic was enough.

She was worried and she wanted answers and Sans had no idea how to put it all into words.

“I just feel like... it's not over. Or it can't be over.” he mumbled. “I worked for years... and before that on something similar even longer and it never worked and now...”

“You waiting for it all to go wrong?” asked Toriel.

“Kinda? I mean... it was hard. So hard.” mumbled Sans. “And I know you and Asgore and Azzy... are still figuring stuff out. But all in all it's so... okay now?”

“Would you prefer if I was more angry?”

“No? I mean you got all right to be. With me, with Asgore, with nobody in particular...”

“Sans...” said Toriel, sighing deeply. “Listen to me?”

Sans sighed with relieve. Toriel talking meant he didn't had to talk now. He nodded and looked up into Toriel's eyes.

“I was angry.” Toriel said. “But I was angry for a very very long time. Angry and bitter. I was angry at Asgore, at the humans, at myself. I was angry even at the children that left me behind despite me warning them. I was angry at so many things, Sans. And I did things in anger I regret and ironically I judged Asgore for doing wrong things in his anger and grief too. And I was unable to let go of my grudge for a long, long time because sometimes it felt like it was the only thing that let me go on.”

Sans wanted to say something but Toriel just lifted a paw, showing him that she wasn't done.

“After the barrier fell... I was angry too. I was angry that Frisk saw Asgore as a father figure despite him trying to hurt them. I was angry that Asgore wasn't hurting MORE. I was angry that there were monster looking at Asgore with adoration, especially Undyne. I wanted to scream at all of them, wanted them to be angry and hate him just as much as I did in that moment. I wanted Frisk to not love him so much.”

Sans stared at Toriel. Sure, he had known she had a lot of issues with Asgore and that she could hold a grudge but he had never thought how deep this was going.

“But... in the end? I sat down with Asgore. We talked. A... a lot. And I came to realize that I misjudged him. That I did a lot of things wrong too and that Asgore was not the evil heartless creature I had pained in my mind. That he was suffering just like I did and just expressed it differently.” Toriel sighed. “We both got angry, we both grieved. He declared war on humanity to keep the Underground from losing hope. I took the body of our dead child and ran away and let my feelings fester. We both had to let go of this. It's not nice, it's not pretty and what happened was horrible... but we both had to accept that.”

“So... that was why you got along better suddenly?” asked Sans.

“I a way.” Toriel sighed. “It... took a lot. To let it go. But I learned a lot in that time. To not let my hurt and grief transform into the sort of dark anger like I had let myself do it before. So... when you told me about this.... about Flowey and As...Asriel... and how you had known my son was still out there, even if his soul was not there anymore... and how you told other people, Alphys and Asgore... I was hurt Sans. It hurt. Because I thought I was better now and that you would trust me with this.”

Sans looked away, soul vibrating with hurt. “I am sorry.”

“And I forgave you for that Sans.” said Toriel, gently holding his skull. “I was hurt but I forgave you because I can understand. And I honestly don't know what I would have done had you told me before. But what was done is done and we are dealing with it.” Toriel sighed softly. “Asgore and I will always have a very complicated relationship now. He hurt me and I hurt him and we forgave each other and are friends again but sometimes it still hurts. Sometimes I am jealous and sometimes I still feel that terrible dark bitterness but I know it's not fair.” She took a big breath. “It was reasonable of you to think I would not take this well. It still hurt but I didn't exactly put much confidence into you that I was able to handle it. And believe me, even now the whole thing is by far not as... okay now as you seem to think. But it is more okay than you seem to fear.”

Part of Sans was relieved. A big part of him even. As strange as it sounded, Sans was just happy that he wasn't the only one still mentally reeling from this.

“Are you still angry with me?” he asked.

“No.” Said Toriel. “I forgave you. I was angry, I worked through it. Things are... different now. With me and Asgore and Azzy and I still have to think about a lot of what happened in all these years since this horrible day. But I am not angry with you, Sans. We talked things out already and things will get only better from here.

Big fuzzy paws were now petting him more, cuddling him into Toriel's body and surrounding him with warmth. He felt himself relaxing more and more because darn this felt nice and he wanted to stay like this forever.

“So relax, my dear.” said Toriel. “Things won't just break apart.”

And in that moment, Sans believed her.

For some reason, Sans never really met with Mrs. Smith. He heard of her and saw her once or twice in the school but she never had talked to him.

From what Mettaton and Papyrus had told him, he kinda didn't want to anyway. It was still strange and Sans really didn't know if he should see it as a blessing or a curse.

Well if even Linda was freaked out, something had to be wrong about her... on the other hand, Linda gets freaked out at a ton of things that Sans considered as only shoulder-shrug-material. (Heh, get dunked on Linda!)

Anyway, he had heard of her, he had seen her once or twice walking through the school but he never actually talked to her. So he was kinda surprised when she suddenly walked up to him while he was waiting at Toriel's office, small brown lunch-bag in his hand. He had felt like grabbing some coffee and chat with Toriel if possible but when he heard the small cough behind him any thought of coffee and chatter went out of his head.

Something was wrong with Mrs. Smith and Sans had no clue what. She looked like a human, yeah. But... just... off.

The feeling was back. The feeling of wrongness was back in full force and it took almost everything in Sans to not let his bones rattle in absolute basic terror.

“Mister... Sans.” She said and Sans cringed again.

“Just Sans is alright.”

“It is nice to finally meet you. Until now you always seemed... indisposed.”

Sans made a face at that. Because... yeah... big can of worms. Very big can of worms.

“Uh... yeah.” said Sans, laughing uneasily as he tried to put his best unassuming smile on his face. Mrs. Smith didn't seem impressed. “So you wanna talk right here or....?”

“I think one of the unused classrooms will be appropriate.” she said smoothly and that was how Sans ended up in an empty classroom, sitting more or less uncomfortable on one of the chairs with Mrs. Smith right across him staring at him, clipboard and pen in hand.

“So. What do you wanna know?”

“First of all, I was told you are one of the guardians of the child called Frisk?”

“Uh... yeah, their mom and I are married.”

“And you are an active member of the Parent-Teacher-Association?”

Sans blinked at that. He never considered himself an active anything. Mrs. Smith was still staring at him and after a few seconds took to writing down something on her clipboard.

“I guess?” Sans said unsure, trying to sound casual.

“How would you describe your experiences at the school?” And that gaze was back on him. Sans tried to not look away.

“Well... it is different than my school back in the Underground.” said Sans easily.

It wasn't a lie. Nobody had to know that he never really visited a normal school. To be honest Sans was well past ready to lay his entire past to rest now. Nothing to see here, just a normal skeleton monster, totally boring, not-at-all interesting past, assume just the standard thing, okay? Okay.

“I see... in what sense?”

“Well... there are humans here? And... things are just different?”

Mrs. Smith wrote something down again and the looked at him again. Sans noticed that he hadn't seen her blink since they sat down. Humans usually did that right?

“You also filled in as a substitute teacher a few times?” She asked.

“Yeah, for science.”

It was super awkward but also kinda fun to mess around with the kids he had to admit but he gladly left the job to people who actually had the qualifications for that. Toriel only approached him as a last resort.

“What are your qualifications for that?”

“Uh... I have several doctorates and I worked with kids some times in the Underground.”

“What kind of work?”

“Babysitting.”

Again not a lie... he did babysitting, he kinda raised Papyrus and he did entertain and look after kids that came to Grillby's, simply because kids like his jokes.

Mrs. Smith was writing something again. Something about that made Sans more and more nervous.

Finally she looked at him again, eyes settling directly onto his.

“Would you say the school is a success?”

What kind of questions were these?

“I would say so.” Said Sans slowly. “I mean... we have monster and humans learning together and from each other. Understanding for each other and all that. Also Toriel does run the school very well, she is a great teacher and knows exactly what to do to make learning fun for the kids. Even the kids from parents that don't like monster seem to get along very well with the monster.”

Even Billy seemed to be... strangely okay. Frisk had turned him down politely when he finally managed to state his intentions to hold hands properly but they remained friends and Sans had seen him hanging out with Monster Kid more and more now.

“I mean... even I learn something new about humans and human culture every day.” added Sans softly, thinking of the last months. “And I kinda hope that the humans learn something about us too.”

Mrs. Smith nodded slowly and wrote something down again, this time more than before. Her pen moved for a whole minute before she looked up at Sans.

“And do you believe in this? Do you believe that humans and monster can change?” she finally asked, eyes boring into Sans as if she was trying to look at his soul. “Do you believe everybody can change?”

Something was wrong. Off. Something of that wording...

Was it just the lighting or... was there a glint in Mrs. Smith's eyes? And why did it feel like Sans's very soul was getting heavier? Why was he so afraid of this human? There was no reason to, she was just a normal human, she wasn't even aggressive towards him!

“I...”, started Sans, unsure what to say but willing himself to form words, any words. “I think so?”

Lots of people changed after all. Asgore and Toriel, Alphys, Undyne. Even Papyrus changed. Heck, he could argue that Linda changed. Frisk changed. He himself had changed. Heck, even Flowey... Asriel... Azzy was as changed as a monster ever could change with his new soul.

Sans had a long time to come with terms with that. Really. He had to come to terms with Flowey being the lost prince and with Flowey changing and wanting to be different and becoming Azzy...

It still didn't really delete what he had done, soulless or not. It still didn't change that Sans was hurt, so so hurt. It didn't change that his friends were hurt, over and over, that the Underground was the playground for a being too powerful for a single being and unable to feel any remorse or empathy towards it's playthings.

 It didn't change that Azzy was Flowey and Flowey was Asriel but also that they were each a different being with different mistakes.

 It didn't change that Sans still had to go through hell, through therapy and through nightmares and tears and panic attacks. It didn't change that he was broken by resets and loads and being helpless to change anything on his own. It didn't change that some scars probably will never really truly heal.

“You think so?” asked Mrs. Smith again.

Still, things had changed, right? Azzy was making an effort. So Sans could too.

“I mean... people do change.” said Sans slowly, trying to keep the unease out of his voice. “We learn new stuff about others and ourselves each day... and that can be used to chance. How we act, what we say and do around other people, our opinions on certain topics... it all can change over time.”

“So you say knowledge is the base of change?”

“... in a way? I guess?”

Was it knowledge? Did knowledge change Flowey to Azzy? Sans was not that sure about it... Flowey had told him that he did most of the things he did simply because he wanted to know what would happen.

He was bored and soulless and way way to powerful. What did made him change?

Frisk.

Kindness and mercy and a different view on things and an offer to help and a whole mountain of determination in a small human being that somehow had the power to make people listen to them, really really listen to them.

Sans fell in love with the human, loved them like his own child. Maybe it was a similar kind of love that made Flowey want to finally change.

Or maybe he really just... got the knowledge about how far gone he truly was and finally got the knowledge that instead of wallowing in it, he could indeed change.

That there was even the option of change.

“... interesting.” Said Mr. Smith before Sans could voice his thoughts and somehow, it seemed like it was supposed to be the final say in that matter.

There was a silence stretching between the two of them and Sans tried not to shiver. He didn't like the way she said this word. Luckily for him she seemed satisfied with him because she started to pack up her clipboard and pen and got her purse before standing up.

“I thank you for your time. This was a very... enlightening interview.” Mrs. Smith said and Sans blinked a bit at the sudden change of mood as she left the room.

“Uh... thanks... bye...?” he said weakly, long after she was gone.

What the heck just happened?

Sans was still a bit shaken when he came home. Toriel would pick up Frisk from soccer practice today and Papyrus was helping Undyne with the training still, so the house was silent when Sans let himself fall on the couch, face down into a pillow.

This was just all... weird. Especially his own reaction to Mrs. Smith.

It didn't made sense. Sans was sure he had never seen this human before. Why did he had such an reaction to them?

Why do they even seem so strange to him?

Questions he just couldn't answer. They seemed normal. The questions were a bit odd but nothing to bad.

The phone appeared almost on its own in his hand. A number was called quickly and only after the second ring did Sans really think about what to even say.

“... Sans...?”

“Hey Grills.”

“... are you alright?”

Classic Grillby, always right to the point. Sans took a deep breath.

“Yeah I am fine... just uh... wanted to talk.”

“You usually text, Sans.”

Damnit.

“Hehe... yeah...”

“So?”

“... do you think people can change?”

There was silence on the phone for a while, only the soft crackle of Grillby's flames could be heard.

“Philosophy?”

“Na, just... a conversation I had today.”

“... I see...” There was again a stretch of silence before Grillby spoke again. “I believe in change. Not completely however. I believe the very core of a person can't be changed.... but they can change their outlook, their believes, their approach to life and their behavior. I do believe a person that acted bad can do good and I believe a good person can change to somebody doing bad things. I believe every being has potential to be good or bad or anything in between and the potential to change... but also that not every person wants this change. And that some very fundamental things of ones being can't be changed, no matter what.”

“... that is a very... uh.. two sided theory, Grills.” Mumbled Sans. “But... what if there was something changed? Like... a soul?”

“... ah. You are thinking of Azzy and Flowey...”

“... and Asriel. I mean, I never knew him before Flowey. But... there are texts everywhere about him and Toriel sometimes talks about him and he sounds like the sweetest child... and then there is Flowey who was just... completely devoid of any morals. And now Azzy. It's just hard to wrap my heard around it. Has he really changed? Or was there always Flowey in Asriel and Azzy in Flowey?”

Grillby again was silent for a bit and Sans noticed that his breathing had speed up and willed himself to calmness.

“Asriel was a sweet soul.” Grillby said slowly. “Flowey had no soul. Asriel's soul shattered when he was wounded by humans and brought back his sibling to the Underground. And Azzy... Azzy is a new soul giving live by the King's love and magic. I don't think it's true change because it's not the person who changed but... a new person was created. First Asriel died and Flowey was born from his memories. And then Flowey gave up himself to give his memories to a newborn soul which became Azzy. I am not saying that they are completely separate people but... Asriel died and what was left became Flowey and Flowey gained a new soul which made him into something new again. Asriel and Flowey don't exist anymore.”

“... what about what Flowey did?” Asked Sans quietly. “Should I... get over myself? Should I just be okay with it? With him?”

“... no.” said Grillby. “... you were still hurt. And the one who did it was Flowey and Azzy has Floweys memories and all the concequences that come from that. He is not to be punished for his deeds but... you don't have to forgive and you don't have to forget, Sans. You were hurt, you are allowed to be upset.”

“I just feel bad no matter what.” mumbled Sans. “I mean... he is basically a child... He IS a child...”

“He still has memories reaching longer than your own, maybe longer than mine considering he lived through loop after loop after loop.” said Grillby. “But I agree, his mental age was stuck and stagnant in the stage of a child. And now he isn't anymore. He has to accept responsibility and consequences of action just like you and me. Including your unease around him.”

“... thanks Grillby.” said Sans quietly, not knowing what to say anymore.

“... Sans, do you want me to come over?”

“No... no, Tori and the kid will be home soon... but thanks.. I might uh... come over one of these days again.”

“Alright.” Grillby said gently. “Don't hesitate to call me any time again. There are many people that care about you. Myself included. And I am willing to help whenever you let me.”

“I know.”

“Have a nice evening, my friend...”

“You too... uh... and say hi to the others from me.”

“I will.” chuckled Grillby, some mumbling in the background indicating that he was no longer alone.

Sans was thinking about Grillby's words still when his family returned. He smiled and greeted them, ate dinner with them, helped Frisk with their homework, made puns and played around with Papyrus. And later, when it was just him and Toriel she took him in her arms and he cuddled into her soft fur and let himself relax.

There were still problems to be solved, things for him to understand. There was still the pressure of the knowledge that things are continuing.

Things keep changing. Some of them good, some of them bad.

But for the moment, Sans decided to care about all of that in the morning. There are people out there who care about him, his family and friends.

His soul was filled with love.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In the void there was something and the something became somebody.

 I am.

 I am.

 I need to go home.

A lost soul was formed and wanted to be found. The void was not the void if there was something or somebody. So the void stopped being the void around the person.

And a person, a lost soul found, fell back into the world, back into existence and time and space. There was a gasp and a small groan and maybe a muffled curse as they fell face-first into mud.

The void was the void again, the lost soul back where it belonged.

Wingding Gaster sat up from where he landed and looked around, rubbing his skull, his soul pulsing with a steady hum of life.

Time to go home.

#Undertale #PTA Sans #Sans #Toriel #Soriel #Grillby #Papyrus #Frisk #PTA Sans AU #PTA AU #fanfic #Gaster

[florrickandassociates]

TGF Thoughts: 5x10-- And the violence spread.

So, that’s it for season five. I’m still trying to sort out how I feel about the season as a whole and Wackner’s arc. I’m hopeful that writing this will help me decide.

This episode has a Previously, and it’s rather conventional. I’m guessing it’s here to bookend the season, with conveying information being only a secondary objective.  

Did we see Rivi scream, “You’re done, Wacko, you’re done! Canceled! Canceled!” in the last episode or is that new to this previously? I feel like I absolutely would’ve had things to say about a) Wackner being called “Wacko,” which has been RIGHT THERE this whole time, and b) the use of “Canceled,” which is a thing Rivi would never say but is VERY thematic (you know, cancel culture and also Wackner having a TV show and also this being a TV show that’s wrapping up* Wackner’s arc).

* The way things end this episode, I’d say we’re done with Wackner. The Kings have said they aren’t sure about the plan for season six, so never say never, but I think that if we see Wackner again, it will be as part of a different arc.  

I went back to 5x09 and while we do see the same shots of Rivi screaming, whatever he’s saying in 5x09 is in Spanish. So either he was saying this in Spanish or the dialogue here is totally new.  

I’m a little sad that I knew in advance Robert King had directed this episode, because I want to know how long it would’ve taken me to guess. I’d like to think this first shot, of Diane flopping down on her bed in a very pretty floral print dress, then Kurt flopping down in the opposite direction, would’ve given it away. We usually don’t get shots that are both striking and kinda balanced unless RK’s directing.  

This also has some big season three opener vibes—the scene where Diane turns to Kurt and says, “I’m happy,” thus jinxing the entire season.  

Diane and Kurt are about to go on vacation, which means, of course, that Diane and Kurt are definitely not about to go on vacation. I’ve watched 12 seasons of this show; I know all the tricks!  

If I didn’t get it from the initial staging of the opening shot, the camera panning to Diane and Kurt’s suitcases and then back would’ve been another clue that RK directed. He ALWAYS has the camera in motion.  

I love that Diane’s travel outfit is a dress you could wear to a fancy party and a statement necklace. Of course it is.

And if I needed evidence that RK and MK wrote this episode (which I didn’t; it is a finale so I knew they wrote it), Diane quoting Waiting for Godot is a clue there.  

I really should read Waiting for Godot, shouldn’t I?  

“Wow. Educated and a good lay,” Kurt responds. I know that the political stuff between Diane and Kurt can get more than a little murky, but banter like this reminds me why they stay together and why politics never drive them apart. Also, it’s really nice to see Diane and Kurt have some fun banter that isn’t about politics.  

And Diane making kissing noises and asking Kurt to meet her halfway! This just feels like I’m spying on someone’s private life and I love it. Not in a voyeuristic way, since this is actually a little uncomfortably private, but in a, “ah, yes, these do feel like real people” way. This is the kind of “a little goes a long way” character moment I always want more of, and Kings episodes ALWAYS include stuff like this.

And there it is. The phone rings as Diane and Kurt are about to start out for the airport. Diane thinks the call must be for Kurt, but it’s for her. It’s a very flustered Liz, informing her that STR Laurie’s execs are on their way to the office for a surprise visit.

If the Diane/Kurt scene didn’t tell me that Robert King directed, I almost certainly would’ve gotten it from the sudden cut to Liz, walking through the hallways and doing a million things at once with a ton of background noise. No one loves chaos the way Robert King loves chaos.  

This episode STRONGLY reminds me of the Wife season five finale. It is equally chaotic and also spins a ton of plates. But, mostly, the similarity I see between the two episodes is that they are both extremely fun and captivating to watch because of how much momentum they have, but everything just feels slightly hollow and not exactly focused on the thing you want to see.  

(Shout out to my friend Ryan, who messaged me the 5x22 comparison before I could message it to him!)  

I decided I should rewatch the first few minutes of 5x22. I am now 15 minutes into 5x22 of Wife and 2 minutes into 5x10 of Fight. Oops.  

Apparently, STR Laurie planned a surprise visit because they heard RL was dysfunctional. You don’t say!  

I felt like 5x09 concluded with STR Laurie being won over by Allegra and the RL team, so this is a bit of a surprising place to start the episode. But, since Diane seems surprised too, I’ll allow it.  

Now Liz and Diane have 90 minutes to agree on a financial plan! Kurt’s on the phone with the airline before Diane even hangs up with Liz.  

Diane is determined not to lose out on her vacation and asks Kurt to change the flight to 8:00. “Kurt, we are going on this vacation if it kills me!” is a line I would worry was foreshadowing on basically any other show.

The RL/STRL PowerPoint template is pretty ugly. They want to call 2021 their best year yet, thanks to the deal between Rivi and Plum Meadow Farms we saw last week. Even though we saw champagne and signatures, the deal isn’t done yet because Plum Meadow can back out if Rivi goes to jail.

RK also loves close-ups more than any other director on the show; I do not love close-ups.  

The Plum Meadow deal is such a big deal that for the quarter, they go from $45 million to $5 million without it. They should just not say numbers. I can believe it’s big enough to take them from a modest profit to being behind projections or whatever, but I can’t believe that they have $5 million in other business and $40 million on this one deal.  

It seems that Rivi was arrested. I don’t think it is ever said in this episode why. I assume the arrest relates to his behavior in Wackner’s court, since there were police officers there, and I suppose that Rivi is a big enough deal the police would actually take him to real court, but are we not going to address the weirdness of Rivi being arrested in a fake court where his employees are being tried, then taken to a real court by the same people who just an episode ago were disillusioned with real court? This seems like a plot point.

Carmen on a frantic phone call in the backseat of a car feels very 7x22.  

Who is James that Carmen has in her contacts!? And why does everyone always put Liz in their contacts as “Elizabeth Reddick” when everyone calls her Liz?  

Carmen calls Marissa to go argue in Vinetta’s court since she’s on Rivi duty. Carmen doesn’t take Marissa’s job in Wackner’s court seriously and then notes that this instruction is coming straight from Liz, so Marissa falls in line.  

Wackner’s case of the week is about rural Illinois wanting to form its own state separate from Chicago. There’s a farmer who feels like his tax money is only going to the big city and he wants it to stay in his community.  

They’ve just now added stage lighting to the set of Wackner Rules, dunno why they wouldn’t have done that earlier!

I don’t know what standing you’d have to have to bring a case about wanting to divide the state in two to court, or if this is even something a court would or should decide, but, sure, Wackner and Cord, go for it. There are no rules!  

This map splitting Illinois into two new states that Cord is holding is a dumb prop because Galena, where this farmer is from, is in the same section as Chicago. Do I pause every reference to Chicago on this show and then google information to see if the writers bothered to look it up or pretend they’ve ever set foot in Chicago? You know I do.

“Secession!” the audience screams. Does the audience of Wackner Rules really want to see this?

A Good Fight Short! And it really is short: “Stop this obsession with secession and breaking up the Union. It’s boring and it’s dumb, end of song.” I feel like that’s the thesis statement for this episode, or one of them (that this episode seems to have about ten thesis statements is kind of my problem with this episode, tbh). This episode is very much about danger of things becoming too fractured—the COTW, the copycat courts, the firm drama—and I feel like the writers come around to just saying no, this is enough, we need structure and consistency.

But more on that later. MUCH more on that later.

Marissa is swearing more because “the world has required it.” She notes this to Wackner as she calls him out on the secession case. Cord barges in.

Take a look at the employee of the month poster on the back of the door at 5:39. Then at 5:40, look at what’s in the box just to the right of the center of the screen: it’s an employee of the month poster with Wackner on it! Cute easter egg. (Would Marissa definitely notice this and have questions? Yes. Is this here as a cute easter egg for eagle-eyed fans? Almost certainly.)  

“Insane is just one step away from reality if you get people to believe, and you know what makes people believe? TV.” Cord explains when Marissa asks how they can possibly be litigating this case. That’s thesis statements two and three, folks. The first is that if you get people to believe, then anything is possible, which sounds like a tagline for a Disney movie but is actually super dangerous; the second is that reality TV is a way to persuade people and change opinions.  

So we’ve got: (1) Factions are bad. (2) People are persuadable and the rules don’t actually matter. (3) Reality TV changes minds. Let’s see if there are more.

(Yes, these theses do kind of add up to a whole—The rules don’t matter, so if you persuade people, through reality tv, you get factions of people believing their own sets of rules and facts—but what I'm interested in tracking throughout this episode is how well the writers actually bring these theses together.)

(And this is setting aside that key themes in previous episodes, that I think many of us were looking for resolution on, included outlining the flaws with the extant “real” justice system and exploring the role of prison in the justice system. From this episode, I don’t think the writers ever intended to really tackle either of those issues. That’s fine—I'm not sure that TGF has something to say about prison abolition and I don’t want a thought experiment where the writers actually try to fix the legal system—but feels a bit disjointed. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, but 5x08 and 5x09 needed to do a better, clearer job of setting up this finale. The key themes of Wackner’s arc were always present, but they needed to slowly narrow the scope so the resolution felt inevitable and clear. Instead, we spent time on things like parking spaces (when we could’ve had a real plot about how Wackner’s court gains legitimacy through violence, incarceration, and playing on people’s frustration with the real systems) and Del’s focus groups (when we could’ve instead done a plot about Wackner gaining fans who wanted to use his methods to do ill). Everything I just mentioned in the parentheticals is in the show! It’s not subtext! We see it all! We see Cord use violence and prisons to enforce Wackner’s rulings; we see the cops turn to Wackner out of frustration; we see that the people drawn to Wackner Rules and to Wackner’s court are increasingly sounding more and more like right-wing populists! I can’t be too hard on this arc because, again, all these ideas are there. I’m not coming up with them on my own!)

I’m just saying: this ending would’ve been a lot clearer and a lot more interesting had the writers focused on what I mentioned above instead of the distractions of the last two episodes.  

Whew, that was a ramble. Hope you’re ready for more rambles.

On a similar note, I’d like to reiterate my problems with how the writers used Marissa after the private prison reveal. I don’t have much more to say than what I wrote last week, but it’s another example of the same problem. Marissa objecting to Wackner’s court because she notices what it’s becoming and how Cord plans to use it for political gain (two Illinoises (??) changes the Senate and the Electoral College...) always was going to be part of the endgame. Marissa only seriously objecting after the fourth or fifth line Wackner crosses feels bizarre.  

Cord does NOT like that there is another court, and wants to protect Wackner’s IP. Wackner, as we saw last episode, does not feel threatened by the other court. In fact, he seems to be excited by it.  

I love Liz questioning Diane’s outfit like it’s unprofessional. It’s a little low-cut and showy, but I don’t think unprofessional is the word I’d use for it.  

Now they have 45 minutes to decide The Future Of The Firm and Diane wants to be considered a name partner. Oh, that debate is still raging?! Every time I think it’s done it comes back, which should probably be a sign to Diane that her options are to leave and start something new, jettison Madeline and the others, or step down. Staying on as name partner and calling it a black firm is just not an option.  

“Diane, there is a split in the firm that...” Liz starts, before asking some associates to leave the room. Ha! The reveal Liz and Diane aren’t alone is a pretty fun touch.

“The Black equity partners don’t want to be in your work group,” Liz informs Diane. “Because they think they’ll be punished by this firm?” Diane asks. “No, that’s paranoia. We don’t punish here,” Liz responds. “Of course you do. My fracking client. My union client. The Black lawyers who work on those cases—they're considered traitors” Diane says. “Because those CEOs are racists,” Liz counters.

Lots going on here, and I’m not sure I understand it all. Why would the equity partners—who are partners—feel like they’re being punished by being in Diane’s work group? (And also what does a “work group” mean and why haven’t they talked about it in the past?) When Diane starts talking about the lawyers who staff her clients, she’s not talking about equity partners; she is talking about associates.

And people are giving associates shit for working on Diane’s clients whom they happen to be staffed on!? That’s sad, though believable.

“So what do we do? Only bring in clients who can pass the racial smell test?” Diane asks. I mean, actually, yes. IF the goal is to be a black firm and to have that designation mean something in moral terms rather than marketing terms, then yes.  

“It’s okay if you’re a drug kingpin like Rivi, but it’s not okay if you want me as lead attorney?” Diane says. Also, yes. Diane makes good points here.  

“Diane, this is not about you,” Liz counters. Um, sure, but it has to be about something, Liz. Unless you’re trying to build a firm you don’t control that makes 88% of its revenue from a drug dealer (40 million out of 45 million this quarter = 88%; I told you they shouldn’t give me numbers) but happens to have black people in charge, you have to grapple with this question. I don’t think anyone who’s fighting for the firm to be a black-led (not owned, bc STRL) business is the type of person who thinks that having a black-led firm that does all the same shit as any other firm is in itself a good thing, so you NEED to address your client list. Madeline is anti-Rivi, anti-Cord, anti-Wolfe-Coleman (the rapist guy), pro-social justice, and pro having a black led firm.  

“I mean, why... why do white people personalize this?” Liz asks. “Oh, now I’m just a white person?” Diane responds. I... don’t know what to do with this! Liz is right that Diane is taking this personally; Diane is right that Liz needs to deal with the rest of the client list. But no one is saying the things that REALLY need to be said: That all their decisions are meaningless in the shadow of STRL, and that deciding to be a black led firm isn’t the end of the discussion if they haven’t decided what types of clients they want to have.  

“What happened, Liz? Last year we were intent on an all-female-run law firm,” Diane starts. Oh, THIS AGAIN! Diane never learns, does she? She never seems to realize that no one she’s approached with this idea is NEARLY as in love with it as she is. She probably still wonders to herself why Alicia—who partnered with her at the end of season seven basically just because it was the easiest, most frictionless thing to do—didn't seem more committed to their firm.  

“Diane, there is history here that we are trying to...” Liz says, but Diane cuts in to note that women (women like Diane Lockhart!) have history too! In fact, she’s spent “35 years fighting gender discrimination to get to this position.” “And we have spent 400 years fighting racial discrimination to try and, you know...” Liz starts, before cutting herself off to get back to the ticking clock.

Sigh. Just talk about the actual thing instead of talking around the thing, guys. Diane is obviously deserving of A name partnership, in the abstract. This is an undeniable fact. And while Diane is definitely making this about herself rather than the big picture, I don’t think Liz trying to trump Diane’s 35 year career with the history of black people is going to win her any arguments? Like, just say what you mean and say it clearly. What Liz, I think, wants to express is that Diane’s individual accomplishments aren’t the issue here and everyone thinks she’s deserving (though Liz suggested Diane was not deserving a few episodes ago, which I didn’t understand then and don’t understand now). The problem is that Diane is trying to fight a battle that’s about something much larger than herself with, “but I'm a good lawyer!”  

And that’s KIND OF what Liz is saying here, if I add all her sentences up and read between the lines, but, again, why not just say it?  

“Alright, now we have 43 minutes to fix race relations, gender relations. STR Laurie’s gonna fire our asses, and you know it,” Liz says. I am curious what that would look like. Wouldn’t that just mean that STRL wouldn’t control them anymore? I’m sure being fired would be bad and all, but wouldn’t it free them from the contract they wanted out of last year?  

“Let’s split the firm down the middle. I hire half the lawyers, you hire the other half,” Diane suggests. What does this mean? Why are you hiring your employees? Huh?

“You hire the white associates, and I hire the black associates?” Liz confirms. This seems like a very bad idea that would make things a lot worse and open them up to lawsuits! I also still do not know what they’re even talking about. And I don’t know why Allegra isn’t a part of this conversation.

“I’m not saying it’s good. I’m just saying it’s what we’re left with. It's what we can agree on,” Diane says. I really wish I understood what “hire” meant in this context because I don’t understand why they have to split anything or why this has to be done now and I don’t understand why this would possibly be a good solution. Can you imagine the backlash when people realize all the white people report to Diane and all the black people to Liz and that people were taken off of the accounts they’ve worked on for years to accomplish this? And this must be something that the employees would know about eventually; otherwise they could just randomly assign half to Liz and half to Diane.  

I’m sad Madeline isn’t in this episode because I feel like we needed to see more of her POV as well as the associate POV. I don’t really understand the divides at play within the firm or what the staff and other partners are asking for, but I suspect it isn’t this.

Hallucination Jesus is back, and at least there’s actually a point to him this time (he shows up when Jay is in Vinetta’s court and reminds Jay that Vinetta will rule based on her religious beliefs). I still dislike the hallucinations.

Jay advises Marissa, who is Jewish, to talk a lot about Jesus in her defense.  

Charmaine Bingwa is really great as Carmen, and obviously she is not fluent in Spanish, but it’s so funny to me that the only time you can hear that she’s Australian is when she’s trying to say Oscar like she’s speaking Spanish.  

"I know you’re hiding something when you speak English,” Rivi says to Carmen. Heh.  

“Community court” is such a nice, unthreatening term for referring to Wackner and his copy cats. Thanks for that, Carmen!

It’s a smart plan to mention Jesus a lot, I guess, but Jay and Marissa both should’ve realized that Vinetta is too smart to tolerate obvious pandering. I’m a little surprised Jay doesn’t get up and argue since Marissa is, obviously, not familiar with the New Testament.  

Marissa wins this round with facts and logic.

Why is the judge who was handling Rivi’s previous charge now in bond court? Make it make sense.

I like that Carmen calls out the ASA for swearing hahaha  

Why... would this Matteo kid just casually mention he was holding a gun, omg.  

In Vinetta’s court, you can be charged with murder and tried because... you had a gun and also there were murders at other times. Coolcoolcool no problems here.

Community courts for civil cases? Sure. That’s basically arbitration. Community courts for criminal cases? Bad, bad, bad idea.  

Vinetta’s reasoning: “Those murders happened on our street, and the police haven’t convicted anyone because they don’t care. We care. This is self-defense. And how is it different from your court?” Aside from the whole imprisoning people in her basement thing, Vinetta’s not wrong. I almost brought this up last week but hesitated because I couldn’t remember the details enough to decide if I wanted to recommend it, but there’s a book I read a few years ago that seems relevant here: Ghettoside by Jill Leovy. Again, been a while so don’t take this as a wholehearted endorsement or anything, but from what I remember, the central issue at the heart of the book (it’s non-fiction) is that a poor black community (I think in LA?) doesn’t trust the police (in part) because the police don’t solve murders, and then with no way of getting justice through the court system, there’s more violence as a stand-in for justice. https://www.vox.com/2016/8/26/12631962/ghettoside-jill-leovy-black-crime

I’m not sure if that’s QUITE what Vinetta is saying but it seems similar, and it’s a decent point (though not a justification for her court). Why should she trust the system to improve her community when it’s ignored her community for years?

I like that the writers chose two very different, very understandable characters for their community courts. It’s easy to see why Wackner and Vinetta feel the need for alternative courts; it’s easy to see why others would trust them. This arc doesn’t really work unless there’s a legitimate frustration with existing systems...  

Marissa calls Wackner’s court a “joke,” which she should understand by now isn’t the case. (Marissa’s smart; she knew it wasn’t a joke the second she saw David Cord get involved.)  

Vinetta accuses Wackner of copying her court, which alarms Marissa. This isn’t addressed again, and I don’t know if it’s true! I could really go either way on this. On the one hand, I absolutely believe that Wackner saw/heard about it, liked it, and did it himself without thinking much of it—and if this is the case, then the ending where Vinetta gets in trouble for violating Wackner’s IP is a lot more of a gut punch. On the other hand, I don’t really feel like the seeds for this were planted. We see Wackner innovate a lot and try new things and he has an explanation for why he does everything—how much of that is Vinetta? And Vinetta clearly watches the show and likes it or she wouldn’t have recognized Marissa, so it’s a little hard for me to just believe her claim when literally all I know about her is she has a court that looks like Wackner’s and she is aware of and feels positively towards Wackner rules. Also, Wackner knows about Vinetta’s court (from Marissa) and sounded excited about it last episode. Sure, he didn’t necessarily know which one it was, exactly, but I assume if he’d copied the idea and then heard about a case involving people from the exact same community where he found the idea... his reaction would be different. So IDK. My reasons for doubting Vinetta’s claim are probably based a little too much in things I’m not meant to spend that much time paying attention to.  

“I fucked up. It’s in the same court, but now it’s a murder case,” Marissa tells Diane. I do like hearing characters admit when they fucked up!  

Diane hears that STRL is delayed, so she heads out to help Matteo. When she goes to change into her pantsuit, she finds that she’s grabbed Kurt’s bag by mistake. “Of course. That makes sense,” she reacts.  

Diane pushes her flight to the next day, also telling Kurt, “And yes, for some reason, I took your suit instead of mine, so fuck it.” I love it when the characters feel like real people.  

I am not sure why Kurt is getting to the office when Diane is leaving or why Kurt is there—to pick Diane up on the way to the airport, maybe?

Carter Schmidt walks into RL at the worst possible time, threating to blow up the Plum Meadow deal. Another 5x10 to Wife 5x22 similarity: he’s in both episodes.  

Liz heads out to help Carmen with Rivi, and then STRL arrives. Oops.  

Credits!

One thing about Wackner’s court that should definitely be a warning sign even though it seems noble: he ignores just about every warning sign, like this rowdy crowd screaming WE LOVE YOU WACKNER or the potential interests at play in a case about secession, because he thinks his fair judgement can overcome these obstacles. If the world worked that way, there’d be no need for his court in the first place.

Is anyone representing the State of Illinois in this trial? If not, then... how is it happening?  

Dr. Goat, some dude who claims to have some hidden historical document about how Illinois is actually two states, is clearly making stuff up and yet Wackner indulges him and Cord. I feel about this the same way as I feel about the Devil’s Advocate: That Wackner would not allow this to go on for more than five seconds before calling bullshit and therefore there is no reason I should have to sit through it.

Why is some guy screaming, “No taxation without representation” like dude you absolutely have representation. But of course, I’m expecting him to be logical, and the point is that he is not.

Dr. Goat’s Latin phrases—shock!-- don’t actually translate into anything like what he said. Even though this information is verifiable by a quick google search, the crowd starts screaming “Liar!!!!” at Marissa. If only I could say this felt unrealistic.

Wackner asks Dr. Goat to bring in the document.  

“You look like you’re heading to the beach,” Vinetta says to Diane, who looks like she’s heading somewhere but definitely not to the beach. Vinetta asks where Diane was headed on vacation. Diane says she’s headed to Lake Como, and unnecessarily clarifies that “It’s in Italy.” She assumes Vinetta doesn’t know that... but Vinetta does.

“So you’ve been there before?” Vinetta probes when Diane says it’s beautiful there. “Just once. We don’t get away often. We thought we’d splurge,” Diane says. Vinetta stares at her and smiles, and Diane hits her head on a basket that’s hanging in Vinetta’s kitchen. If I just write out the dialogue here, it sounds like a perfectly average conversation, but everything about this conversation is so charged: Diane is afraid to look like a wealthy white woman; Vinetta’s pleasantness is pretty clearly also a way of sizing up Diane.  

Vinetta shows Diane pictures of neighborhood children and young adults killed as a consequence of gang violence. You can see she’s not trying to do anything other than help her community, even if her methods are highly questionable.

Diane argues that Matteo should be given over to the police; Vinetta disagrees: “The police haven’t arrested anyone for those murders, any of these. Since the BLM movement, they’ve pulled back from our streets. No one’s coming to help. That’s why I started this court. It’s not a joke to us.” Wait I’m sorry did Vinetta just blame lack of good detective work in black communities on... the BLM movement?!?!?! Is there any foundation to this!? Why can’t it just be that the police weren’t actually doing a good job of policing/finding justice and were being antagonistic towards the community instead of being helpful and no one trusted them?? That explanation is literally right there.

Jay suggests the Jesus strategy, again.  

“It’s women! We could just move on, install men,” STRL guy says. I don’t know if he’s joking, but ugh. Also, what is RL if it has neither Diane nor Liz? A bunch of lawyers who will all promptly quit when they see their bosses get fired and a few opportunists?  

Kurt is watching golf in Diane’s office, and the STRL people love it. Of course Kurt accidentally makes friends with them.  

Court stuff happens. It’s not good for Rivi, and then Liz and Carmen come up with a theory: Plum Meadow is stalling the deal so they can find Rivi’s more stable second and make a deal with them instead.  

Wackner giving Dr. Goat a single point on his stupid little board, for any reason related to his obviously fake totally unverified document, is dangerous. Why would you signal to a crowd that’s clearly not interested in fact that they have a point? That’s basically egging them on.

I know Wackner’s judgment is obviously not 100% sound—need I remind you of the PRIVATE PRISONS?-- but I thought it was more sound than this.  

Wackner shows off his knowledge of paper and proves that Dr. Goat’s document is a fake. Why... did he just give Dr. Goat a point???  

Or is he moving the point from Dr. Goat to Marissa?  

Dr. Goat sounds like a fake name I would call a character in my recaps long past the point of anyone other than myself remembering the joke. (See: Mr. Elk)

“The truth is ugly. The only thing uglier is not pursuing it,” Wackner tells Marissa. How is taking on a case about very obvious falsehoods, funded by someone with a vested interest in the case, that gets people riled up, some noble pursuit of truth?  

STRL and Kurt are now drinking and discussing hunting, while Diane’s arguing for Matteo in Vinetta’s living room. Vinetta is—as was always obvious, sorry Jay—far too smart to fall for this patronizing bullshit. She screams at Diane and plays back a recording (on a baby monitor) of Diane coaching Matteo to lie about his faith.

Soooooo yeah no you can’t do that, that is bad, recording conversations between lawyers and their clients is not good even if it leads to you exposing their schemes...

Then Vinetta places Diane under arrest, which obviously isn’t going to end well for Vinetta.  

Liz and Carmen suggest a post-nup to Rivi to see if Isabel is planning on turning on him.

“I’m going to have to kill her,” Rivi says sadly. I don’t think Rivi will ever kill Isabel because we already did that with Bishop.  

I’m going to assume that Diane chooses to stay in basement prison instead of calling one of the many, MANY, MANY people she could call to get her out/take down Vinetta because she doesn’t want the situation to be publicized or further deteriorate. That said, it’s really not clear why Diane just accepts being sentenced to basement prison with a cell phone.  

Love the STRL man looking at that picture of Diane and HRC. They’ve gotten so much mileage out of that photo.  

Wackner’s court has no rules, but at least since it has no rules, I can’t complain about how its rules make no sense!  

What is this, debate practice?! Ugggghhhhh I can’t deal with this case for much longer.  

Marissa takes a breath, then decides to pursue a strategy she knows could blow everything up.

“Then why care what Judge Wackner decides? Why should you defer to him? Why defer to anyone?” Cord says that’s the point—the people have decided to trust Wackner. “So if you don’t like this court’s decision, you’ll just start a new one?” Marissa asks. “I guess,” Cord concedes.  

“So then why does this matter? This court?” “It matters only insofar as we continue to agree that it matters,” Cord says. “So if you don’t like Judge Wackner’s rulings, you can just ignore them and create a new court?”

Good point, Marissa. Good point. (Does this count as a thesis?)

“I’m guessing that I will like the way the judge decides,” Cord says. Well, that’s basically a threat.

Wackner takes a break and heads to chambers—without Marissa.  

Kurt goes to visit Diane in basement jail. He’s granted a conjugal visit, which means Matteo gets moved up to the bedroom so Diane and Kurt can have some alone time.

Diane is staring at an image of Lake Como in her cell. I thought it was odd she brought a printout of her vacation destination with her, so I LOVED the line where she explains that Vinetta printed it out for her. COLD. (You know who also would’ve done this if they’d for some reason had a basement prison? Bree Van de Kamp. You know what show DID do a basement prison arc I’d rather forget? Desperate Housewives!)  

I love how Diane responds to basement prison by making jokes non-stop.

“I thought the craziness would end with 2020,” Diane says. Nope.

Kurt brought alcohol; Diane brought pot gummies.  

I love that Kurt has never had pot before. I was going to say that I bet Diane’s had a few experiences with recreational drugs when I remembered we had a whole damn season of Diane microdosing.  

Christine and Gary’s acting and their chemistry really bring these basement prison scenes to life. The writing and directing are really sharp, but it’s the actors who make these scenes something special. You can tell Diane and Kurt love each other a lot. You can tell they’re disappointed about their vacation and exhausted by the chaos of the day. You can tell they’re in disbelief over this situation but also find it funny.  

Didn’t Rivi and Isabel have an adult daughter who died of COVID a few episodes ago? Weird she isn’t mentioned in this scene. Maybe from a different marriage/relationship?

Isabel called the SA’s office because she thinks Rivi’s a threat? I think this is a power play.

Heh, Carmen saying, “Shut a black woman up!?” in disbelief in court. Love it.  

Isabel instead flips her story and supports her husband and fights for his release. With no intervention from Plum Meadow, this gets the judge to free Rivi. I don’t really understand what’s happened here or why. I get the resolution, but I don’t get why Isabel called the SA or why this went away so quickly. I still don’t even get why Rivi’s been arrested.

Diane and Kurt put up Christmas lights for ambiance and talk about how they never go on vacation.

“I wanna see the pyramids on this coast!” drunk & high Kurt insists, hilariously. “I mean hemisphere. I like the Aztecs. They, they care about people.” I’m not going to transcribe the rest of the dialogue because it loses its magic when you’re not watching the scene.  

After some fun banter about travel and movies, Diane changes the topic. “I should quit, shouldn’t I? That judge upstairs? She looked at me like I was the most entitled white bitch on the planet. And that’s the way they look at me at work.”

Kurt tries to say that’s not true, but Diane knows it is: “Yes they do. I’m the top Karen. And why do I care? I mean, I... I could find another firm. I could quit. I can’t impose my will on people who don’t want me.”

YES. I see a lot of debate over what the “right” thing to do is here. But I think we are long past “right” and “wrong.” At a certain point, this stops being about absolute moral truths. If Diane doesn’t have the respect of her partners and employees, that is a very real problem for the firm and for Diane. How can she continue to impose her will on a firm that doesn’t want her, all the while claiming to be an ally? (The back half of that sentence is the most important part.) Forget whether or not Diane “should” have to step down. Forget what’s “fair.” If the non-Diane leadership of RL thinks the firm should be a black firm, and the employees of RL think so too, and Diane just doubles down on her white feminism, she’s creating an even bigger problem for herself and ruining her reputation in the process.  

Kurt stands up on the prison cot and warns Diane she might make a decision she’ll regret. This scene is so cute. Why can’t other shows do drug trips where the characters just act silly and have great chemistry? Why does it always have to be some profound meditation on death whenever characters get high?

“I think I like starting over. I like the chutes and ladders of life. I mean, I want the corner office, but then I wanna slip back to the beginning and fight for the corner office. I mean, I think maybe it’s better that I don’t get the top spot,” Diane says. LOVE to hear her admit this. I’m not sure I would’ve come to this conclusion on my own, and it sounds like it’s a bit more about how the writers like to write (you know, the “we love our characters to always be underdogs”) than Diane, but... you know what? I believe it. I fully believe it. Diane LOVES to fight, LOVES to feel like she’s in the right, LOVES power plays and to be making progress. She LOVES winning. The fact that she isn’t just choosing to retire right now, even though she’s past retirement age and has a great reputation, is in itself enough for me to believe that she would find it fun to repeatedly start over.

Plus, it’s a fun new direction for the show to take in season six, because they’ll get the same sense of conflict without the actual conflict. This season’s arc was firm drama and resulted in a firm name change... but it didn’t feel like a knock-off of Hitting the Fan. Diane trying to work her way back into power (I assume by becoming a better actual ally, otherwise doesn’t she just end up in the same exact situation?) should also provide conflict without being repetitive.

Hahahahahaha Kurt immediately reacting to this serious statement by being incredibly silly and horny and then Diane singing “I Touch Myself” to him, man, I love these two. I want to know the story behind this song choice.

Wackner emerges from his chambers. The score is tied. Wackner calls Cord corrupt and notes that they can’t just decide to call Downstate Illinois a new state based on his ruling. Now it’s thesis time!

“I was taken by Mr. Cord’s arguments of individualism. So much of our country has been built on people finding their own way, not being held back by bureaucracy. Yet, if we only follow individualism, that way lies chaos. And that was not the point of this court. Or at least not my point. Judgment for the defense. There will be no Downstate Illinois.”

“If we only follow individualism, that way lies chaos.” is probably the clearest of the many theses of this episode. To recap, we have:

(1) Factions are bad. (2) People are persuadable and the rules don’t actually matter. (3) Reality TV changes minds. (4) Institutions only exist when we collectively agree they exist (5) Individualism = chaos.  

But let’s put a pin in this for now and let the chaos of individualism play out.  

The crowd does not like Wackner’s decision, and decides that an appropriate way to express their displeasure is to make anti-Semitic remarks towards Marissa and then start throwing chairs. What nice people.  

As the crowd goes totally 1/6 on Wackner’s court (thanks for pointing this out to me, Ryan—I cannot believe I didn’t make the connection myself!), the door slamming into the desk finally pays off since Marissa and Wackner are able to use it to keep the crowd from reaching them.  

They immediately turn to the police, or they would, if they could get service. I’m sure it’s not a coincidence that as soon as things get bad, they want to involve the existing system.  

Wackner Rules is, somehow, still taping in the midst of all the chaos. I don’t know if I think they’d air this, but someone certainly would. (I wonder if any of the cameras we see in these scenes are actually the cameras filming the other angles of the riot.)  

Cord shakes his head and walks out, unharmed.  

“You think they’ll kill us?” “I think they might,” Marissa and Wackner fret.  

“My dad said the whole world would be a better place if everybody realized they were in the minority. ‘No matter where you are,’ he said, ‘Make sure you keep an eye on the exits, and make sure you’re closer to the exit than the Cossacks are to the entrance.’” Marissa says. Love Eli Gold coming through with thesis number 6 (and maybe thesis number 7).  

“Your dad sounds a little paranoid,” Wackner says, correctly. Remember how I mentioned I accidentally wound up watching 5x22? Eli calls Alicia and responds to her hello with, “DISASTER!!!!” I miss him.

“He was, but he wasn’t wrong. He said, ‘Stay away from parades. They’re cute until they’re not. And don’t trust any pope who was Hitler Youth.” “What’s that law called?” “Godwin’s Law. My dad said anybody who argued for Godwin’s Law has never been near an actual crowd. Crowds love you, they hug you. Then they grab a gun and try to kill you.”

“Why? Why do they do that?” “I don’t know. Hate is fun. It’s clear-cut.”  

I really like all of this. It is a little preachy, but it isn’t wrong and it’s self-aware. And, more importantly, it’s in character. I absolutely believe that Marissa would tell lots of stories about Eli in a moment of extreme stress. It’s nostalgic, probably comforting, and it also helps her feel like she’s on the right side with the right arguments. So, even backed into a corner, she’s still a winner: she has theory on her side.  

Wackner speaks a foreign language (I do not know what language but I wish I did) and says, “A guy could get killed doing this,” which makes him and Marissa laugh as things crash around them.

Idk about you all, but I couldn’t really get myself to actually worry about their safety during this scene. Maybe Wackner’s, just a little, but I got the sense we were supposed to focus more on the chaos and destruction and monologuing than on the actual danger. That’s not to say the stakes didn’t feel high, but rather to say that this didn’t feel like an action sequence where you don’t know what’s going to happen next. The point was to watch the court fall and think about why it fell, not to worry about if Marissa would live.  

Diane and Kurt are woken up by sirens and loud noises. The cops arrive and are shocked to find professionally dressed white people in a basement cell. They let Diane and Kurt out with compassion, but scream, “don’t you fucking move” to the people on the floor.

“It’s okay, they didn’t do anything,” Diane says. This is, as I theorized earlier, probably why Diane just sits there until her punishment blows over instead of escalating things.  

If the cops weren’t there to free Diane, why were they there? Why, because they like David Cord and David Cord has gotten Chicago PD officers to protect Wackner’s IP.  

If I had to say one thing in favor of Vinetta being the originator of the community court idea, it would be that it’s SUCH a gut punch to watch Diane and Kurt walk away from their bizarre little adventure as Vinetta gets arrested in the background, and it hits ten times as hard if Vinetta’s only being charged because some white guy is claiming IP that’s actually hers.

(I think Vinetta is probably, at this point, actually being arrested for imprisoning people illegally, but, still.)

“Pfft. Some judge,” one of the cops who adores Wackner says of Vinetta. Racist much?  

Marissa and Wackner emerge from the backroom. “I think I better get back to work,” she says, meaning her RL job. "Me too,” Wackner says, grabbing a Copy Coop apron. He’s an employee of ten years.  

I don’t think this lands as well as it’s meant to. I think the point is supposed to be that Wackner’s just some guy—not a billionaire, not an academic, not a judge, not a lawyer—with an idea. But it’s a little too neat. And it doesn’t explain how Wackner financed his court initially, nor does it explain why he has basically unlimited access to Copy Coop space and resources. I’d buy it if he were the OWNER of Copy Coop, but I have so many questions about him being an employee.  

Diane tells Liz she’s actually going on vacation this time, and they laugh about how Kurt bonded with STRL.

“I want you and Allegra to be name partners. I’ll be an equity partner,” Diane says. “Why?” Liz asks. “Five years ago, when I hit rock bottom, this firm took me in. So I don’t like the idea of splitting this firm in two. And I can’t lead if no one will follow.” “And your clients?” “We’ll manage them together.” YES! I love this. I don’t love it because I necessarily think it had to go this way, but because it’s so refreshing to see Diane say that she actually is willing to take a step back because she cares about the firm and the people there more than she cares about being a name partner. This isn’t something we usually see. When we hear “this firm took x in” it’s usually being said incredulously against someone who’s decided to leave and steal clients (cough, Hitting the Fan, cough).  

It’s been pretty clear for most of this arc that Diane and Liz like working together and they like their firm, but that no one (other than Diane, I guess) is willing to let RL lose its status as a black firm, and that the employees and equity partners weren’t going to be satisfied until Diane stepped down. Diane really had three options: Stay and piss everyone off and claim the whole firm for herself, quit and go somewhere else and totally abandon the good working dynamic she had, or step down and put her money where her mouth is.  

Also yeah the clients were never actually going to be an issue! They were only an issue because Diane intentionally went about informing them she was stepping down in a way she knew would make them worry!  

“I think I need to prove myself,” Diane says. I’m not sure that’s the key issue or that she can ever prove herself fully, but we’ll worry about that next year.

“I missed you,” Liz says. “I’m here,” Diane replies. “I know. Thank you,” Liz says.  

Diane decides she’s going to move downstairs so Allegra can have her office. I think there’s another office on this floor, since she, Adrian and Liz all had offices. This feels a little bit like Diane’s in love with the idea of making things difficult for herself and maybe hasn’t fully grasped the point, but, you know, I’ll take it.  

Diane tells Kurt her decision and he asks if it was the right thing to do. She says she doesn’t know—but she says it with a smile. Kurt notes he’s going hunting next month with the STRL folks and will put in a good word for her. Ah, yes, because STRL still controls all of this and all of this is moot! Thanks for the reminder Kurt! Diane says she wants in on the hunting trip. Of course.  

And the elevator doors close. Remember how closing elevator doors was a motif earlier this season??? It’s back!

Then we get a little coda with Wackner Rules airing a new episode that’s just violence and destruction. This sequence seems to straddle the line between being there for thematic reasons for the viewers and there to show what happened in the show’s universe, but I think it’s main purpose is theme, so I will not go on a full rant questioning why Del would want to air this.

A white blonde lady in an apron watches the destruction of Wackner Rules. She looks concerned. “That was violet,” she says with dismay. And then we see she’s holding a guy in a jail cell in her kitchen.  

And then we see other courts, as America the Beautiful plays. One’s in a garage debating kicking someone out of the neighborhood; another is across the street about the same case. There’s one in Oregon about secession. There’s one among Tiki Torch Nazis deciding only white people can own property. There’s (inexplicably) one about pronouns. There’s one with arm wrestling, one that happens while sky diving, and a bunch of others. It’s pretty ridiculous, and not necessarily in a good way. It feels at once like the natural extension of the Wackner Rules show and like an over the top parody you’d see on another show. Tiki Torch Nazis screaming “only white people can own property!” is the opposite of subtle writing. Tonally, this sequence feels more like the zany humor of Desperate Housewives or the insanity of BrainDead than anything TGF has done before (and TGF’s been plenty surreal), and it doesn’t quite work for me. It feels like it is trying to prove a point in the corniest, most on the nose way possible. It almost feels like it’s parodying its own plotlines.  

On my first watch, this ending for Wackner left me stumped. I knew the writers were making an argument against individualism (Wackner’s speech + the repeated references to The Apprentice) and cults of personality. But I couldn’t figure out a real life analogue to Wackner’s court, and since this ending was so obviously trying to be About Something, that bugged me. Sure, that last sequence could be an argument against people making community courts, but WERE people making community courts? I didn’t see the urgency.

And then I talked to @mimeparadox. And as soon as he said that it was about factions and people playing by their own sets of rules beyond the justice system, it clicked. I’d been looking for Wackner’s plot to be a commentary on the legal system. It is much broader than that. It’s a commentary on the weakening of democratic systems (the Big Lie, etc.), more broadly, and Wackner and his common-sense approach are just a way to get liberal viewers to go along for the ride.  

Now that I understand the point, or what I think is the point, I like this conclusion. Circumventing the system leads to chaos; that’s why we have institutions and bureaucracy, and I think the show is arguing that these institutions should still be respected despite their flaws. The many theses of this episode all come together to make this point (though the reality TV stuff is a little more tenuous and I'm a little shocked we got through all of this without any commentary on social media?): If we stop having a shared belief in institutions and instead follow individual leaders (whom we may learn about through reality TV), the rules will stop mattering and we’ll end up with a fractured country and widespread violence.  

But, and maybe this is just about me being upset I missed both the obvious 1/6 parallels AND the point of the arc the first time through this episode (my defensive side feels the need to also note I first watched this episode at like 5 am when I was barely awake), I don’t know that I actually think this episode does a great job of driving its point home. There are SO many moving pieces to the Wackner plot and SO many references. There are so many threads we never return to from earlier in the season, and there’s so much that strains credulity (like Wackner taking Dr. Goat seriously for more than a split second). It’s pretty clear what the themes are—even though I’m saying I missed the point my first time through, I've hit on all these themes separately in past recaps and posts—but, I dunno, something about this episode just feels scattered. Maybe it’s all the moving pieces, maybe it’s all the moments where it sounds like the characters are voicing related ideas that don’t quite snap together to form one coherent picture, or maybe it’s that Wackner’s plot gets two endings (the actual ending + the coda) and it’s up to the viewer to put together how they relate.

I really don’t know. At the end of the day, I think there was a little too much going on with Wackner and that the writers needed to use the episodes between the private prison reveal and the finale to narrow—not broaden—the scope of what they were trying to do with Wackner. But I also think that what they were doing with Wackner was really, really smart and original. I don’t think I can overstate how impressed I am that the writers took an idea that sounded, frankly, awful when I first heard about it and turned it into something captivating and insightful that I was happy to spend nine weeks watching.  

Overall, a few bad episodes aside, I thought season five was the strongest season of TGF yet. I haven’t seen this show be so focused in... well, maybe ever. Having two overarching plots that received consistent development and felt like they were happening in the same universe at the same time REALLY helps make season five feel like a coherent whole, and I can’t wait to rewatch it.  

#tgf thoughts #the good fight

[divagonzo]

Quarantine (Romione, One-shot)

Ao3 // FF.net (will post them there tomorrow but Tumblr gets the first crack tonight)

A/N: I’d intended to have this posted last week but RL got in the way and so much fell onto my plate as “back-up daughter” to friends who are out of state for their elderly parents. What little time I had was claimed by so many other things too. I know there is a Princess somewhere mad that RL interfered in my life once again. One of these years my life will be only dramatic in the stories I write. Alas.

Rated M (so much smutty goodness in this one!) for Lemons, Limes, Citrus galore. Not Ace Safe in the least (This means you @headcanonsandmore​)

TW: Mentions of current British events involving a towheaded cockwomble and his deputy. Tagging @hillnerd​ and @abradystrix​ just ‘cause.

Give me my demarcation line darn it!

“I swear to Merlin that I am going to strangle that sod,” Hermione growled before putting the two-way mirror down in her office. “That cockwomble!”

“Love?” Ron poked his head in, wondering what got Hermione into a bit of lather this morning from her noon call with the Muggle PM.

Hermione took off her reading glasses and rubbed the heels of her hands into her eyes, wondering how much more cocked up the world was going to be in the interim.

“What’s happened, dear?” Ron stood at the doorway, wondering too what was going on. “I heard you cursing. Did you speak with that tosser of a PM?”

“I did,” She hissed. “Do you remember that boring ministry dinner we attended last weekend? The one where I was seated across from the PM and his partner, talking boring politics while you tried to keep from complaining about the rubbish chicken they served for the main course?”

“Of course. Who could forget that Merlin awful chicken that even you could cook a better one than what was presented to us? Who did they get to cater it, Malfoy?”

“You’d think, right? Anyway, it seems the PM has gone and contracted some virus, one that appears to be worse than the flu for some people. Unfortunately, now, since we were within close contact with the bastard,” 

“Please don’t tell me.”

“We’re quarantined for a fortnight because that sod insisted on shaking everyone’s hand when they arrived, including yours.”

“Shite.”

“Yeah. That’s what I thought too. At least the kids were off at school.”

“That – “ Hermione tuned out for Ron’s caustic rant about the current PM who seemed to have less brains than Flint seems to possess. “I can’t believe he did that.”

“So we have to be home, inside, for 2 weeks. We can’t even go out shopping for groceries, you to work, anything.”

“That’s fucked up.”

“I know. Fortunately, we’ve not been to see your parents since we met with the PM.”

“And your parents?”

“I’ve only talked with them on the phone. I’ve not been by there in 2 weeks.”

“Harry & Ginny. I mean she is at home with a toddler and Harry’s been working on a case for weeks now with his group. I had a meeting with him last week to discuss training for the new class coming in.”

“Then we need to tell him and others and let them decide.”

“Bugger. How bad is this virus?”

“From what he said, most people get a little sick but it’s not a big deal. The problem is that for one in five, it’s serious enough for a visit to the A&E. From what he said also, there’s about 1 in 20 that need critical care.” Hermione sat back in her leather office chair, sighing. “I need to contact St. Mungo’s and let them know to prepare for this. I think I also need to share this with the Wizarding population, too, so they can take care of themselves too.”

“That bad?”

“You know how I talk about history entirely too much?”

Ron grinned, thinking about how often Hermione would pick up a tome for a bit of light reading. “Of course I do. Last year you were reading something on the Dark Ages. Seemed quite bad.”

“Oh, it was. It was how a plague back in the 14th century and how it decimated the European population.”

“Sounds grim.”

“It was. There are articles by historians that the plague killed between 25 and 50 per cent of the population of Europe. Only a few places were reasonably immune to it.”

Ron frowned. “Please tell me it won’t be that bad for us.”

“It won’t. We have better medicines and potions to take now unlike back then. We have a level of hygiene now that makes the transmission less likely.”

Ron said, “You mean how we take a bath or a shower daily?”

“That and always washing hands when coming out of the loo.”

“Who wouldn’t? That’s gross.”

Hermione grimaced. “You know there are plenty of men who don’t wash their hands.”

“True and they’re disgusting.”

“Anyway, we’re going to be home awhile.”

“We’ll need some groceries to tide us over.”

“I’ll firecall Neville and let him know to keep the kids at Hogwarts until this passes for us.”

“Good idea. Looks like we’re going to break out that industrial-sized Mirror you got for me when I was laid up on bed rest with the kids.”

“I’ll go get it and put it up in here for you.” Ron stopped. “So if you’re infected, then I am too, right?”

Hermione smiled, thinking of a delightful Sunday lie-in they had last weekend. “Yes, you would be.”

“Well since I’m on the same broom you are, it’s not like you have to sleep on the couch or anything.”

“No, neither of us has to sleep on the couch.” Hermione stood up from her leather office chair and went to the doorway, pushing her husband gently into the doorframe. With a glance, she ran her fingers through the fringe and his hair, appreciating the softness of the hair on his head. “And no illness will keep me from doing this,” She stood on her tiptoes to gently kiss him. 

Ron reached for her hips and pulled her body flush to his own. “Keep that up and we won’t get any work done this afternoon.” 

Hermione kissed him on the nose before pulling his head forward, resting her forehead on his. “And once again, you’re right. I did say I needed to do a couple of things before this evening.” She sighed. “But I would enjoy dessert tonight.” Her smile turned wicked. “I think we would both appreciate some quality stress relief.”

Ron pulled her close again, snogging her breathless. “I’ll hold you to it.” He hugged her tight, pressing his nose into her hair. “I’ll go get the mirror out of storage and set it up. Then I’ll firecall everyone to warn them off, including Harry and Ginny.”

“I admit this is going to be, well, interesting.”

Ron erupted in a cheeky grin. “Remember the last time we had a fortnight to ourselves?”

“You mean that little cottage in the French Alps at Mont Fort? That was quite nice of Fleur’s parents to rent it out for us for that holiday.” Hermione smiled thinking of that particular Holiday. “The Muggles only saw one hut out there in the middle of nowhere but didn’t see the Wizarding village down the side of the mountain. I don’t know of any Holiday we’ve ever taken that was better than the one there.”

“You certainly weren’t complaining that we were snowed in that week and slept in front of the fireplace every night to stay warm.” Ron ran his hands along her face. “And to think, nine months later Rose came along.”

Hermione snuggled into his chest. “So you’re hoping for that again, aren’t you?”

“That’s up to you, love. While I would never turn down another child, it’s not my decision, is it?”

“Maybe I wouldn’t be on bed rest for months if I was again?”

“You weren’t with Hugo.”

“We’ll see what happens,” Hermione stood on her toes and kissed Ron again. “But first, we have to take care of the business stuff.”

Ron kissed Hermione on the nose. “I’ll get your mirror up in a moment, right after I talk with Mum and Dad.”

Ron left Hermione in her office while she considered how she was going to do her job to her standards while stuck at home for a fortnight.

Demarcation line for the win!

Ron finished with the last dish in the sink after their dinner of cottage pie and salad. The grocery budget shrunk back down to a reasonable amount once the kids went back to Hogwarts after Winter Hols. He didn’t mind since the kids had everything he lacked growing up, with enough food to feed a small army every meal for them and provided them treats from time to time as well. But the household budget would strain slightly with two teenagers eating their weight daily. How his parents managed all the kids on his Dad’s meagre salary he’d never understand except to respect his Mum and her skills.

Two small yet strong arms wrapped around his midsection, hugging her front to his back. “I’m so glad you’re home with me. I’d go completely mental if I had to spend two weeks away from you during this barmy time.”

Ron pulled Hermione to him, lifting her onto the ledge of the counter. The kids never noticed that the counters were the perfect height for him and a little tall for Hermione. She didn’t mind, not when they were still young and working too hard and grabbed a shag whenever they could manage it those early days of owning their cottage. Tonight, though, they had plenty of time on their hands. His hands went to her thighs, rubbing his calloused hands up and down her smooth skin. “I’d have walked into our quarantine to keep you company during this time. Might I remind you that our vows said In Sickness and in Health? I think this qualifies as in sickness.”

“It’s not like I even feel off. Maybe it’s that cockwomble of a PM who is an idiot.”

Ron opened her pyjama top, exposing her chest to him. It was almost 25 years after the fact and even with all of the changes to her body from having kids, the curse scar along with the gold galleon burns along her chest never faded. They’d healed up well enough but those early days, when he was still learning every square inch of her body, he’d kiss each scar, each burn spot, each memento of a moment when her bravery cost something, some bit of pain in their lives. “Fucking gorgeous,” he growled. “Damn gorgeous.”

“You’re barking,” she smiled as she worked at lifting the tee shirt up his torso, leaving small kisses on various freckles on his body. He finished the job, tossing the shirt behind him so she could appreciate his body. While he wasn’t out running with the kids daily now since his ankle ached a bit from time to time, he wasn’t a gangly teenager like he was at 14. He’d filled out some and put on some muscle on his shoulders and back which Hermione never failed to appreciate. “Deep in thought?” she asked.

Ron looked back at his wife and saw her smirk. “Yeah, just wish I’d been able to tell 14-year-old me to quit being such a tosser and that he’d eventually get the girl of his dreams.”

“You’d already had me but I had to learn to appreciate you,” She worked her hands down his lean torso, settling them on the tops of his hips. “How could I have been so stupid to not realize that you express love to people by giving your time and affection in doing things for people. Once I figured you out, I realized you’d been telling me for years how much you loved me. Once I realized that I was being selfish in thinking you had to express affection the way that I understood you so much more.” She pulled his hips close, feeling his sleep trousers straining the front. “I’m glad I pulled my thumb out.” She grinned at him before shrugging out of her top, leaving her in her skin. “And I’m glad that you put something special in.”

Ron laughed but dropped his sleep trousers, leaving him in his skin. “You mean like you want right now?” he stepped between her knee and then pulled her hips forward to the edge of the countertop.  

She pulled on the back of his head down for a tempestuous kiss, feeling his excitement poking her thighs. Releasing his lips for a moment, she breathed, “here or somewhere else?”

Ron lifted his hands from the sides of her hips to her breasts, feeling the tips harden under his fingertips. “Oh we’re staying here,” He cheeked before kneeling before her. “I want dessert first.”

Hermione leaned back on the counter, holding onto the edge while Ron feasted on her tender flesh, giving her so much pleasure and joy that if she could cry, she would. Instead, she let go, embracing the vulnerability she could express with her husband. Ron was the only one on the planet who could quiet the racing raging thoughts in her head, slow down the near-constant anxiety that she had to always be the best at everything, and temper her sharp edges that so many others presumed about her.

A shudder rippled through her body followed by the frisson that she gladly welcomed, all given freely by her wonderful husband. She reached out and found the soft ginger hairs on his head and ran her fingers through them, appreciating the solid feeling under her fingertips while he used his to make her groan in ecstasy. 

Another rush of pleasure coursed through each nerve in her body, leaving her quivering in the abundance of sensory overload. She would never tell anyone besides Ron but what he did for her before they had sex was her favourite part. Everything he brought to their intimate moments only magnified how much she adored him.

Two hands reached up her body to tease her breasts, pinching the tips under his well-practised fingers. 

“Oh God,” She moaned and felt the jolt of pleasure erupt from her core, spreading out to her fingertips and toes. 

When she could open her eyes, Ron was standing in front of her, patiently waiting for her approval. She nodded once, having lost the capability to speak anything coherent some time ago, and felt the pleasure of having his cock inside her.

“Shit, this is fucking amazing,” he kept still for a moment to make sure she was ready. Twenty plus years of making love to this wonderful man – and the shagging and, as crudely as it was factual, the fucking – she never grew tired of it. Like the loaves of bread he made for Sunday lunch for the family, he never let it grow stale or trite.

Hermione reached up to hold onto his shoulders, to have any kind of leverage while he continued to make love to her. While he might have popped off in a minute when they were much, much younger, he had stamina now to last long enough to make her satiated. Who knew that she could feel that much from a shared intimacy with this amazing man she called her husband?

“Yes, right there, feels amazing,” she praised him for every second she could articulate. Her husband thrived on being praised and told how well he was treating her. It took too many rows after they finally pulled their collective thumbs out - and some tears on her part - to realize what he needed to flourish. 

“Gonna fuck you hard, Hermione, going to make you walk like a bloody bowtruckle for a week when I’m done with you,” he’d cheek back.

“Yes, please do, yes” each moment he spent driving her spare, with his hands, his manhood, his mouth, anything he could use to afford her pleasure and joy. “It’s not like anyone is going to notice us, right?”

“No one’s going to interrupt. I’ve locked the door, the Floo, and put us under a Fidelius Charm. 

Ron kept going, eventually pulling her hips forward and resting her legs on her chest and her feet on his shoulders. Hermione pressed her heels into his collarbone, changing the angle he fucked her. “Yes, right there, keep going,” her praise for him only grew more incoherent, more broken as he nattered on, offering filthy comments in response to her. He understood her best of all. He was the only one who got to see her vulnerable, this candid for him. 

A sheen of sweat covered both of them, rattling the cabinets and drawers underneath them. Noises echoed in the kitchen into the parlour along with the occasional groan of wood underneath Hermione’s arse. The slap of wet skin against wet skin echoed along with the growing cacophony into the cottage.

“Hermione,” Ron’s voice rumbled.

“Whenever you are,” she replied. 

Ron continued for another dozen strokes, fighting like mad to hold on. He looked down at his wife and saw her tits jiggling on her breasts while one hand had slid down her slick body to where they were joined, pressing her fingertips into the crevice where her bundle of nerves was, rubbing in tight little circles.

“Oh fuck,” he growled before exploding. He pulled her hips flush to his, feeling her clenching around his length. 

She groaned like the long-departed ghoul in his childhood attic, imitating a banshee with a bad cold. She shivered, not stopping even after he’d quit thrusting into her welcoming body. He pulled back, gasping for breath and stretching his back. She continued to quiver from all of the sensory overload while he hid the smug grin on his face from making her behave in such a wanton fashion. 

Seconds which felt like minutes later, Ron pulled Hermione from the edge of the countertop, lifting her onto his shoulders and carried her to their couch. She scrambled off with him plopping down first followed by her cuddling into his side. She scratched the soft ginger hairs on his chest while he caught his breath.

“We get two weeks like this,” said to the top of his wife’s head. “I never expected to have daily shags ever again, not after that first summer.”

Hermione looked up and smiled before resting her head back on his chest and crossing her knee over his thighs. “I guess we should take advantage of it before everything goes pear-shaped again.”

“Would you say it’s fortunate that we got this earlier than later than everyone else?”

“Honestly? I’d rather get it and get it over with and get back to work helping the rest of our country survive this disaster.”

“Disaster?” Ron rubbed her back, feeling the hairs standing up under his fingertips. “You mean that walking fuckstrumpet of a Prime Minister for the Muggles?”

“If I thought that the populace was manipulated into voting for that sod, I’d open an inquiry. But I don’t trust the Muggles and their discernment of the propaganda that passes for the media now.”

“You’ve never trusted the media, Hermione, not after that bint Skeeter defamed you repeatedly when we were younger.”

“I recall you being shirty too after she went after our kids that one time at the Quidditch World Cup back in 2014. Good thing Ginny gave her what for on Harry’s behalf.”

Ron wrapped his arms around Hermione’s shoulders, pulling her more onto his still heaving chest. 

A soft continuous thumping on the window made them turn their heads. Sure enough, it was raining but also an oversized Barn Owl was on the railing, tapping with his beak in the utter darkness.

“Merlin, can’t even enjoy the moment,” Hermione growled before getting up from Ron’s comforting embrace to stroll to the window and open it, bringing in the very wet owl inside. “I must answer this immediately, isn’t it?” she asked the owl who hooted softly. “Bugger, OK. There are rashers on the countertop for you. I’ll send this back straightaway.”

Hermione saw the MoM seal on the outside of the parchment and cracked it with a fingernail, watching the three feet unroll. She scanned the document before her eyes grew as large as tea saucers then read it again.

Ron sat up on the couch, watching his wife standing only in her skin by the window, the fireplace behind her lush arse highlighting it and silently making him drool, yet she had not a care in the world who might see her form, already engrossed in what had been sent to her.  “That bad, love?”

Hermione turned her face back to Ron and saw the thunderheads rolling across her face. “That bloody PM didn’t bother to listen to the Muggle doctors and is being admitted to the hospital tonight. The sod has left that other tosser - “

“He’s the bloke that looks like he was used for quaffle target practice, right?”

“That’s the one.” She took a deep breath. “That means I’m now the Shadow Minister, temporarily. The real Shadow Minister is also under quarantine.”

“But so are we, right?”

Hermione’s smile erupted. “Nothing like a bubblehead charm to go into work, which I, unfortunately, must do for an hour early tomorrow morning. That Ruddy idiot wants to talk about the state of the Ministry before going forward at 7 am.”

Ron stood up from the couch, looking fanciable and fit in his skin. Four strides and he was next to her, swallowing her up in an enormous hug. “I guess that means we need to get to bed so you can sleep, right?”

Hermione looked up at Ron, his beard shining like gold in the amber lights of the fire in the locked fireplace. “Eventually, love. I would prefer round two.”

Ron turned, pulling her with him as he walked back to their bedroom. “Round two, huh?”

“I need to work this stress off and you’re the medicine I need tonight.”

#Dragon's fic #hpfic #Romione #Ron Weasley #Hermione Granger #Not Ace Safe #Citrus Warning #M Rated #18 rated #While Minister Hermione isn't my fave #the idea stuck with me #I ran with it #yes I used the word cockwomble #Posted late so the 2 minors who follow might not notice #Not like they don't know what adults do behind closed doors #Queue Up for the Dragon

[bard-of-worlds]

Ladybug the Law is the Law CH9

Sorry this is so late guys, i needed to get past a writer’s block and then i needed to deal with some other stuff, in RL.  and here it is finally and i hope to have a good gift for all of you this Christmas

XXXXXX

Adrien looked at the black pants and a black jacket/vest with dark blue pockets he was wearing before looked at how he looked in the mirror with the rig and smirked.  “You know I look normal with black hair.”

 “You’re just lucky that it’s a cold enough for some people to wear a jacket.” Marinette said as she looked at him holding the arms of the jacket and sighed.  “But it isn’t cold enough for the full piece so……”

 “Yeah, good call with the zipper arms.”  Adrien said and Marinette shrugged.  

 “It was like that when I found it; it did give me a few ideas and it taught me a few ideas about some tricks to try out.” Marinette said with a laugh that caused Adrien to stare at her and blush and he heard Plagg snicker in the jacket vests pocket.

 “Well this is pretty good. Why’d whoever give it to a thrift store?” Adrien asked and Marinette chuckled and smirked.  

 “I had to replace a zipper on one side, there was a stain on the pockets that caused me to cut them away and put in some new ones, that’s why they’re a different color.” Marinette said and Adrien ahhed.  

 “Thanks for this Marinette, I better go before Nadja gets here, see you after where ever we’re supposed to meet up.” Adrien asked and Tikki spoke up before Marinette could.

 “The movie theater in the 17th near the Arc.” Tikki said from Marinette’s purse.

 “Thanks Sugarclub, come on lover boy the sooner we’re done, the sooner we can talk to Fu and the others.” Plagg said from a pocket in the jacket and Marinette looked away with a blush as Tikki giggled.

 “I’ll meet you and the others there, this way we won’t press our luck more then we have to.” Adrien said as he looked at Marinette and took a deep breath.  “And we will have to have a talk before Monday.”  

 “About…..” Marinette asked and Adrien looked at her.

 “Us.” Adrien said and Marinette blushed and looked away.  Adrien bent over and kissed Marinette’s forehead and she blushed harder and he smiled at her as he rubbed her right cheek.  “I’ll see you at Fu’s.”

 “Wait, don’t forget this.” Marinette said as she handed him a slice of cheese breed wrapped up and Adrien smiled at her and hugged her.

 “Thanks Marinette, thank you for being you.” Adrien said before he quickly left through the door and moved along the streets towards a location he could transform and blushed a little bit for what he had done.

 “Nice going lover boy, and what do you want to name your kittens?” Plagg teased and Adrien looked down as Plagg snickered.

 “Plagg, will you keep it down?!”  Adrien said as he looked around, hoping that no one was nearby enough to see or curious enough to investigate.

 “Relax, nobodies close enough to hear us.” Plagg said and Adrien looked around and force himself to relax a tiny bit but kept walking, his eyes looking around for any trace that someone had heard Plagg.  “And if anyone does hear they’ll probably think your phone is on speaker.”

 Adrien kept quiet as he walked through Paris and away from the area of both the school and the bakery, he had to find a place to transform that he wouldn’t be seen.  “We have to be careful Plagg, especially now.  Once mistake and this will be like the time Marinette and I tried to see that movie!”

 “You’re paranoid, but in your case that’s a good point.” Plagg admitted as Adrien walked down a blind alley a few moments later.

 “Plagg, claws out!” Adrien said and within a moment he had transformed into Chat Noir and jumped upwards and began dashing over the Paris skyline.  You know I’m right kid

 Marinette stayed still for minutes after Adrien had left until Tikki moved up and got in her face, grinning at her.  “I told you he would still like you Marinette!”

 Marinette snapped out of her daze and still blushing moved upstairs and got the area ready for when Manon would get here, leaving Tikki to follow behind and giggle as she flew after her chosen.  Five minutes later Marinette was finished putting the last finishing touches on the living room when she heard the doorbell and gestured for Tikki to hide and hurried down stairs and opened the door and smiled when she saw who was there.

 “Some one’s been dying to see you again Marinette.” Nadja said with smiled at Marinette as Manon hugged the designer.

 “Marinette!” Manon called happily as Marinette laughed a little, glad that Manon was still the same given the chaos of the last few days.

 “Hi Manon, my friend Alya is coming over later so let’s hope unlike the first time there isn’t an Akuma attack.” Marinette said and Manon giggled.   “Now I left out a juice box and cookies upstairs, who can I trust to be a good girl and go drink it and eat the vegetable cookies?”

 “ME!” Manon called out and Marinette let her run to the stairs and walked up them carefully.

 “Thanks again Marinette, I’m sorry for bothering you like this all last minute but I was originally going to have the day off but then my boss called me and I had to go in for a surprise interview. So everything is good then I’ll be back before noon.” Nadja said as she handed over a small bag and Marinette nodded.

 “Don’t worry; this is fine. And I might be on hand to watch her during the mornings on weekdays in the future if you need me to.” Marinette said with a smirk as Nadja looked shocked.  “I’m going to be homeschool for the rest of the year at least, so I’ll get back to you about what days I might be able to handle her.”

 “Did something happen at school?” Nadja asked and Marinette sighed.

 “That is a long story that I can’t legally talk about until my expulsion hearing.” Marinette said and held up a hand as Nadja opened her mouth.  “LEGALLY I can’t talk about it, but once I can I’ll tell you the whole story okay.”  

 “I’ll be back in a few hours Marinette, thanks again.”  Nadja said and walked off, a frown on her face.  Why, in the name of everything on this planet would Marinette, Marinette of all the students in that school be expelled, this makes enough sense as….. nothing at all!  I think I have a new subject for my next investigation, the current state of the Paris Education department and schools! She thought as she looked at the school across the street and she hoped that it wasn’t as bad as she feared it was.

 As Marinette moved upstairs she saw Manon as she drank her juice and smiled at her.  “Okay I’ve got a game, there’s a good movie you like or you could play one of the video games your mom brought.”

 “Movie!”  Manon said and Marinette turned the TV on and she laughed as it started.

 Marinette got out a drawing pad and started to work on a dress design as she sighed, happy that this would be easy for once.  

 “Hey Marinette, your parents said I could come up and help…… okay TV and movie, good.” Alya said softly as she came up from below.

  Chat Noir dropped down into a back ally and dropped his transformation and Plagg flew into his pocket that Adrien put the cheese slice and Adrien could hear the kwami eat the food. He moved out the alley and saw Louise waiting by his car and moved towards him.  “Hey Louise!”

 Louise looked up and blinked a few times before he realized who he was seeing.  “That you kid, I wouldn’t have known it was you if I hadn’t heard you!”

 “Thanks, she does good work doesn’t she?” Adrien asked as he smirked as he got into the backseet and Louise got into the driver’s seat and started the car.  As they drove along Adrien looked at the windows and whistled.

 “What’s with the tainted widows?” He asked as he felt Plagg move against him and waited

 “Security feature that I got when my car needed to be replaced.”  Louise said and smirked at Adrien through the review mirror.  “Let me tell you, that modification really help me get my clients around safely.  And at least this way your fans won’t see you in the windows!”

 Adrien laughed lightly as they drove through Paris, letting the radio takeover the small talk.  As they passed by a Limo Adrien went white as he saw the Gorilla in driver’s seat.  As the car passed by and he looked back and saw the limo drive away he breathed easily.  

 “Yeah kid I know, we passed your family’s car.  Don’t react, we’re almost there.  All we have to do is make it a few more blocks and we’re home free.”  Louise said and Adrien sighed as he leaned back. “Don’t worry, I’ve got this car after your mom disappeared and he doesn’t know what my license plate is so we’re golden.”

 Adrien kept silent and Louise looked at him and frowned, not liking how Adrien was behaving.  Come on kid, I know that Gab did a number on you, but I really want to believe that there’s still a way for the both of you to heal.  He thought as he went over everything that he could do to get a rise out of him.  “Hey kid, your dad ever tell him the first time he met your mother she threw up on him?”

 “No, really?” Adrien asked and Louise laughed a little.

 “Okay, let me tell you all about how those two met.  It was college, Gabriel was putting together this fashion show and your mom was between shows at the theater so she decided to give it a try, IE her sis talked her into it.  Of course acting and modeling is kinda different so she was nervous as heck.” Louise said as he drove the car through Paris.  “Unfortunately her sister gave her a cure but it was actually meant to purge her system and well you can guess what happened when Gabriel walked up.”

 “No way!”  Adrien said and started to laugh.

 “Yeah, man o man he had this expression as what the fuck happened and then Emilie was apologizing and then Gabe went and changed into his spare clothing, it was his suit and then he started the show, and since it was high class clothing his complimented it and he got a great review!” Louise said and laughed.  “Emilie worked in a few more of his shows and then they started to date after they graduated and then well you know.”

 “You know they never told me that story.  Any other stories like that?” Adrien asked and Louise laughed and shook his head as he looked into his past.

 “Plenty kid, plenty!” Louise said as he looked into his past and snickered.  “I’ll tell you all about then once we’re inside there.”

 “There? Oh.” Adrien said as he saw they were just in front of a blocky building with a garage door next to a black glass door with a card reader and a keypad next to both doors and he whistled.  “You know, I never noticed that before.”

 “Yeah, I know what you mean.” Louise said with a sigh.  “Strange isn’t it?”

 “Yeah.”  Adrien said as they drove up to the garage door and Louise opened his window and inserted a card into the card reader next to the garage door and put in a code before it started to open.  

 They drove into a well-lit garage with rows of parking spaces and a door on the other side with a card reader next to it.    Louise parked and then parked the car, Louise looked at Adrien and smiled. “Okay kid as we went into the door, it started to close and we just need to wait another minute then we’ll be able to leave.  And don’t worry about anyone talking about you being here, everyone signs a contract of confidentiality and if anyone talks, everyone is punished until the person responsible is discovered.”

 “Oh.” Adrien said and looked at the garage door and saw it closed and then he opened the car door and Louise got out as well.

 “Another fun fact, the door to the waiting room outside turns twice, no way for anyone to get camera shots of inside.”  Louise said as they walked towards the door to the building, it opened and a man in a suit with a face mask and thick glasses walked out and signed a few words to Louise who nodded at him.  “And the doctor is great with people who have particular objections and personal requirements to their treatment, hey man how’s it been?”

 The man signed a few more words and walked away towards a car and got in, not reacting and Adrien looked at Louise who grinned.  

 “Motion sensors, this way the doors out only open when nobody is out of the building.” Louise said and Adrien whistled.

 “They really work to keep their clients identities safe don’t they?” Adrien asked and Louise nodded with a laugh.

 “Yeah they do kid.” Louise said as he opened the door and then walked infront of him into a waiting room with a girl Adrien’s age with black glasses, pink hair and she was wearing a nurse’s uniform with a black hat on.  Adrien noticed that she was wearing a grey choker around her neck.  “Hello, wait are you Sarah’s daughter Lisa?”

 “Yes I am, are you the three 10 o’clock appointment a MERZETH?”  Lisa asked and Louise nodded and grinned at Adrien.

 “And another thing, they give our appointments code names and password.  Yes, I am Mr. Duty.”  Louise said with a smirk. “Kid go with her, she’ll take you and I’ll be here when you get back.”    Adrien nodded and walked after Lisa who led him to a room and gestured for him to enter. As Adrien sat down in one of the chairs Plagg pushed his head out and looked at Adrien.

 “I’m going to poke around a bit; this is about an hour right?”  Plagg said before he darted away, Adrien watching helplessly.

 Plagg flew through the vents and smirked as he saw black cobwebs followed them until he reached a drop and moved down until he found a circle of the black webs on the side and phased through it into a small chamber with a black sphere of the webs that glowed, illuminating the space.  

 “I thought I felt you Webby!” Plagg said with a grin as he looked at who he had found.

 “Don’t call me Webby stinky sock!”  A high pitched voice said as a spider like Kwami with four ‘stick legs’ sticking out of it’s back and it had it’s arms crossed.  “And what are you two doing here?!  I thought you all went with those people to Tibet centuries ago!”

 “The order fell before WW2 Zera.”  Plagg said and Zera looked at him in shock and gasped.

 “Then this Hawkmoth thing isn’t those guys trying to drag us out of hiding?!”  Zera said, shocked.  Plagg looked at her before wincing, remembering a few things the Order had done to get some of their holders to give the Miraculous over to their ‘care’.

 “No, it really isn’t. So how about, want to talk your holder into fighting alongside us?” Plagg asked and Zera looked down, her mind elsewhere.  “What is it; your’s is on the side of the good right?”

 “Yeah, but she’s not one who likes to fight.  I mean my powers are best with a team, my webs can hold foes down or help protect others, and she’s a medic!”  Zera said and then looked at Plagg.  “I’ll talk to her, I’ll say that I found you when I saw Chat Noir on the roof and you detransformed and you swung by while your holder was eating at a restaurant nearby.”

 Nadia walked into the hotel and looked around, trying to find her crew when she spotted someone waving at her from the elevators.

 “Hey Nadia, sorry about calling you in but we really didn’t have a choice.”  The executive said and looked at her with an apologetic look on his face.  “I mean nobody expect that to happen to him, really we didn’t.  I’m sorry; I’ll give you a day off with half pay so please I’m sorry.”

 “We were just lucky that I could get a babysitter, that’s all I will say about this.  So who am I meeting with?”  Nadia asked and he sighed at her answer and bowed to her.

 “An executive from a movie theater that is looking to open a studio nearby, and by nearby I mean outside the range of him.”  The executive said and Nadia looked shocked.  “We need you to well, read off a few question for the preliminaries and hopeful if nothing happens then we’ll have an interview at the studio.”  

 “That’s something; I mean it would be the first new business that’s come into the city in, well since this thing started!”  Nadia said and the executive nodded.

 “Then you see how this could be big, right?” The executive said with a smile.  “And the studio might make a superhero movie first!”

 “That is amazing.” Nadia said and looked up at the clock and nodded.  “But I have to be finished before noon, I promised the sitter that I’d get her before then and this was last minute.”

 “Of course, I promise no more than an hour.”  The executive said as they walked towards the elevators,

 “Nice, and I might have a good story about one of the local school within the next few days.”  Nadia said and the executive looked interested as the doors closed. Meanwhile outside the Agreste limo came to a stop in front of the hotel and pulled to a stop.

 Nathalie got out and looked at the ‘Gorilla’ and nodded at him.  “Go park nearby, hopefully I’ll have Adrien and we’ll be back at the mansion in a few hours.”

 The Gorilla looked at her and grunted and scowled at her, and Nathalie winced and looked down.  “I promise I won’t stop you if at the end of it all Gabriel and Adrien doesn’t make up and fix this, you can take Adrien to the police and testify okay?”

 ‘Gorilla’ nodded and Nathalie looked around at the hotel and walked inside, her eyes looking all over trying to find a clue that Adrien was there.   After a few moments a hand fell onto her shoulder and she turned to see the mayor looking at her with a smile.

 “Nathalie my dear, how are you?  You usually talk to my people over the phone if you need the space, has something happened?” Chloe’s father, André Bourgeois the mayor of Paris asked as he stood there in his usual clothes.  Nathalie looked at him and smiled.

 “No, I just thought I’d hit the café here and grab a coffee.  With everything that happened lately I thought it might be best that I grab one from here.” Nathalie said and Andre sighed and shook his head.

 “I know just what you mean my dear.  With all Hawkmoth and now this newcomer, what’s her name, Karula Zayura….. whatever. First it was how people just needed to feel strong emotions and now what she uses to make monsters, I just don’t know what Paris is coming too.  Thankfully tourism hasn’t fallen too much.” He said with a laugh.

 “I think her name was Mayura, and it’s never a good idea to taunt the crazy Mr. Mayor, I would have the name memorized before any speeches.” Nathalie said frostily and Andre nodded.

 “Of course, but with the special guest I have……opps!  Please forget I ever said anything my dear, and don’t mention it to Gabriel.” Andre said as he looked at her.  

 Nathalie kept silent and looked at him and barely kept a smile down.  “So you don’t want Gabriel to know about it then?”

 “Just until the announcement my dear, a day at most and then go right ahead.” Andre said and he shrugged. “I know it sounds convoluted but that’s what they wanted.”

 “I understand completely, truly I do.” Nathalie said and smiled at in self-thought victory.  “Just for the sack of wondering, is the guest in the ninth Suite, that has nothing to do with this one right?”

 “Oh of course, we were obliged to give that room to them, a point of honor as you can guess.” Andre said and then looked at the clock and then nodded.  “I’m so sorry, but I have to leave, I have a meeting about a concert and well I don’t want to be late.”

 “Of course, I’m sorry that I took so much time from you.”  Nathalie said and watched him leave before taking out her phone.

 Nath; I have two pieces of evidence that he’s here, plan is a go

 Gabe;  Good, I’ll see you with him hopefully, good luck.

 Nathalie walked towards the café and looked around the lobby, she was sure Adrien was here and once Gabriel found the right target, she would have her chance.  Once it started she would go up to the top floor and then she would find Adrien and talk to him about everything as the Gorilla drove them away from the attack.

  “When you have that court date, call me.  I want to have a talk with your nutritionists, a talk involving my hands around his neck.” Doctor Albert Wayzong said with a glare as he looked at Adrien.  When he had seen Adrien’s results it had taken some fast talking before he hurt Louise and then after hearing that Adrien was filling for emancipation and he calmed down a bit after that.

 “Thanks doc, I really appraised it.” Adrien said as he shook Albert’s hand.  Doctor Albert Wayzong was a middle aged man with a bald head and had blue eyes and a small beard.  He was wearing a blue shirt under a white doctor’s coat and black pants.  Adrien leaned against the wall and after a moment he felt Plagg press against him from within his coat and he kept a grin down. “And this place is great; I mean you’ve got great service and well you really take care of your clients privacy!”

 “Don’t thank me my boy, this place was set up after one too many paparazzi broke down my old place. And helping you, well that was part of my weakly charity work.  Keeps my optimism alive and I get to stay in practice.”  Doctor Albert said with a laugh.  

 “Goodbye, come again!” Lisa waved as she sat behind the counter.  As she looked down at her pocket she frowned and looked up at the doctor and cleared her throat.  “Sorry doc, bathroom breaks be right back in a bit.”

 Adrien and Louise walked out and got into Louise’s car and then they were on the road outside of the building.

 “Okay, so where do I need to take you Adrien?” Louise asked and Adrien looked at him.

 “Back to where you dropped me, that’s all I need to get back to my friends.” Adrien said as he felt Plagg push against him from his pocket.  Louise smiled at them and shook his head.  “Anyhow, I’m sure that with how the doc reacted to your physical that part of the case is won, just give me a few more days to look over everything my investigators have found and your own interview I think we’ll win, but I am sorry you had to do this kid.”

 “I know Louise, I know.” Adrien said and looked thoughtful.  This is going to be very hurtful no matter what happens, I guess in the end I have to hope that dad wasn’t this way on purpose. But I don’t understand how he could have done this otherwise. He thought as he looked out the car’s window, not paying attention to anything until he felt the car stop.

 “We’re here kid, are you sure you’re okay?”  Louise said and Adrien nodded and got out of the car and bashed towards the alley, slipping down it and after a few moments he found the dead end he had dropped his transformation before.  

 “Well kid that was hopeful.” Plagg said as he grinned at Adrien and smiled.  “I can’t wait to talk to the others at Fu’s!”  

 “What is it Plagg?” Adrien asked and Plagg grinned wider.

 “Let’s just say that I might have helped us win a victory today, and I really hope I did something right this time!”  Plagg said with a grin.  “But I’ll talk about it later, let’s go kid!”

 “Right, Plagg, Claws out!” Adrien called out before transforming into Chat Noir and then he leapt upwards and moved towards the meeting point.

  “Thank you so much for this Marinette, this was such a blessing.” Nadia said as she held Manon’s hand as she smiled at Marinette.  Nadia looked between Alya and Marinette and then looked between them.  “Are you sure I can’t get you to tell me what happened at your school?”

 “No, I really don’t want to talk about it.  But I will tell you when I can okay?” Marinette promised and Nadia nodded.

 As Nadia walked away holding Manon’s hand Marinette waved as she watched them walk away and Alya looked at him and laughed a little.

 “That wasn’t as bad I feared you know?” Alya said and Marinette nodded.  

 “Manon’s very sweat, either just right or is a complete monster that destroys everything.” Marinette said and then looked at her watch.  “Come on, we’ve got to meet the boys!”

 “Yeah, but you know that she won’t give up right?” Alya asked at they walked away from the bakery. Marinette sighed and nodded.  

 “Being you’re friend taught me that about reporters.  And I hope we get paperwork back after that tells me at least what this will be.” Marinette said with a sigh that turned into a glare.  “My parents and I talked about it; if we have to we will sue the school and or my former principle and trial by public works too.”

 “Ladies, hey!” Nino’s voice kept Alya from reacting and turning towards his voice she smiled and kissed his check.

 “Hey you ready for this?” Alya asked and Nino grinned and looked at them.  

 “Yeah, we’re just waiting on Maxie and his bot?” Nino asked and Alya nodded.

 “Don’t wait for me everyone, I’m here!”  Max said from behind them and Marinette jumped and looked at Max as he stood there and smiled at them.

 “Learning to walk silently bot boy?” Alya asked and Max laughed and rubbed the back of his head.

 “Well, all those times I ran and hide from Akuma’s had to have done something to me sooner or later.” Max said with a smirk.

 “Let’s go, we have a nice walk until we get there.” Marinette said a she walked off, her eyes looking all over until Alya looked at her and cleared her throat.

 “Uh girl, are you looking for someone?” Alya asked as Nino and Max looked at Marinette as

 “I’m looking for Lila, she can’t follow us.” Marinette said and the others looked at each other and nodded, all of them agreeing that if Lila found out anything about this then it would be bad.

  Sabrina smiled at Chloe as they walked through the streets, glad that they had spent the day listing to the bands and having lunch out.  “So think we’ll have to do that after Marinette’s hearing?”

 “Probably yeah.  I mean I wasn’t a great student but they should have called me out on a lot of the stuff I did.” Chloe said with a scowl as she looked away.

 “You really don’t like Miss. Bustier at all, do you?”  Sabrina asked and Chloe got an ugly look on her face.  

 “If there are word that describe how I feel about that bi…..witch I don’t know them in French, English or Chinese!” Chloe said with a growl.   And that’s why I really didn’t think that teacher bitch deserved Marinette’s work like that, sorry Mari but sometimes there is collateral damage. Chloe thought with a frown as she looked away from Sabrina and sighed.

 “Hey what are they doing?” Sabrina asked suddenly and Chloe looked up and saw Marinette, Nino, Alya and Max walking on the other side of the road and Chloe looked closer when she saw Marinette was looking all around.  “Are they going somewhere?”

 “And they don’t want anyone to know.” Chloe whispered as she pulled Sabrina to a storefront.  “Don’t look at them, look at their reflection, and keep your eyes focused on Marinette.”

 “Chloe?” Sabrina asked before she could see Marinette look all around through the cars passing by the window.  “What is this?”

 “Marinette probably doesn’t want Lila to find them so let’s follow so we can intercept her.” Chloe said as she led Sabrina parallel to Marinette and friends.  “Come on, let’s help her out since we couldn’t during the attack.”

 Sabrina laughed a little and let herself be dragged along behind her

  Chloe looked at them as they followed Marinette and the others, a frown on her face as they

 As the four friends moved turned down the alley Chloe frowned and moved quickly and quietly towards it as Sabrina followed behind.

 “What is it Chloe?” Sabrina asked and Chloe ignored her.  “We saw where they were going, and Lila isn’t around here as far as we know.”

 “This theater, it’s had the same owner for years, they always pay their taxes full even when they have terrible business, dad’s been……” Chloe trailed off as she saw Chat Noir drop down by them and a flash turned him into Adrien with a black cat kwami floating by his head.  Sabrina’s mouth dropped open as Chloe looked from Marinette to Max, Alya and Nino and suddenly Chat Noir flashed and Adrien was standing there with a little creature hovering over his shoulder. “Oh my. god.”

    “Adrien, how was the checkup?” Marinette asked and Adrien frowned a little.  

 “Not as bad as I feared but better then I hoped, I’m getting a bit underweight and well Plagg said that while the Miraculous help us use energy in a balance and heal us, it can’t make things from nothing.” Adrien said and rubbed the back of his neck.  

 A sound from the door caused them to look up and see Master Fu looking out at them and smiling with a look that had a hint of mischief in it.

 “Ahh there you all, come in come in.”  Fu said as he gestured for them to come into the door and then pointed towards a doorway farther down.  “This way my young friends.”

 “I can’t believe it, I mean it’s so obvious.” Chloe said dumbly as she watched them walk into the door and then she ran towards it after it closed and then calmly brought out two pieces of metal and got to work on the door

 “Chloe what are you doing?!” Sabrina demanded as she watched Chloe work.

 “I’m not giving up a chance to give that old man a piece of my mind for throwing Marinette and Adrien at Hawkmoth!”  Chloe said as she unlocked the door and they saw a hallway, a door closing a few feet away.

 Fu led the way into his apartment under the theater and opened the Miraculous Box and let the kwami out, but only those who had partners who went to their humans as they all sat down and Fu brought out a tea set and cups, filling them with tea and.

 “Welcome, one and all.” Fu said as he bowed to them.  “I had lost hope that I would ever sit with chosen of the Kwami again.”

 “Is there a difference between us and Hawkmoth and his blue witch?” Alya asked and Fu nodded before looking at her with a glare and she swallowed.

 “Yes, but I must insist that you keep it from your blog.  If Hawkmoth or anyone else finds out about it!”  Fu said and Alya nodded.

 “Chill, I’ll keep quiet, I promise.” Alya said as Trixx giggled from her place on top of Alya’s head.

 “I told you she was a true Fox!  We know when to find and when to hide!” Trixx said and Alya looked at her.  “And we choose you Alya, we choose all of you.”

 “Indead.”  Kaalki said and nodded.  “Each of you have traits that we Kwami……. The closest word in the common tongue is resonate but it fails to catch a few things.  This was so much easier when people spoke Altantian.”

 “The problem with the wish, as Plagg has said is that it is balance in its purist form.  To make a selfish wish, that causes the universe to deal the same damage to the wisher.” Fu said as he put down the teapot and looked at them.  “To save a life of a loved one, a loved one is struck down.  To cure of a terrible diseases, then they get another one just as bad.”

 “Wait, Atlantis was real!? What happened to it?!” Max asked and Adrien only pointed at Plagg.

 “He did.” Adrien said and every human aside from him, Fu and Marinette stared open mouthed.

 “To be fair, I had no choice.  There was this monstrosity that was part animal and plant, and Tikki’s powers can’t destroy life.” Plagg said and looked down.  “Unfortunately it had it’s roots all under the island and well.”

 “And this wish couldn’t be used then why?” Nino asked and Tikki nodded.

 “My holder at the time, she died before and her body fell into the sea.  I slept for hundreds of years until it made it to shore and I found someone I could see would use it right.  I meet Plagg again about three hundred years later in the early days of Rome.” Tikki said and looked down at the floor.

 “What happened to you Plagg?” Adrien asked and Plagg shrugged.

 “Me and my holder had a fallen out with the survivors and fought our way free and with like-minded people escaped to what you all know as Africa and I spent the next few hundred years fighting against them, and then I found Tikki and a few hundred years later the Guardians found us.” Plagg said with a scowl.  “The survivors really went mad after that.”

 “So what was Atlantis like?” Max asked with stars in his eyes.

 “It had a caste based society, only it wasn’t based on birth but potential and what they would like. They had an understanding of sociology that is still unmatched so their tests helped a lot of people find their passions.”  Wayzz said with a laugh as the Kwami grinned.   “One of our missing siblings was usually partnered with a member of the Healing Caste, and they passed on many things to the Guardians.”

 “Amazing, but back up a bit okay. Then you think Hawkmoth is after the wish to save someone?” Alya asked and Marinette looked down before she nodded as a scowl grew on her face. “Why, what happened?”

 “It was the last time we fought Mayura.” Adrien began and looked at Marinette who was just a s messed up as him.

 “The day that I was expelled and that mass attack fizzled out, Mayura made an appearance.  She tried to trick Adrien with a Ladybug Senti-Monster…… I gave the item that created her to her and Mayura, she just killed her by recalling the energy used to create her.” Marinette said as she hugged her arms and looked down, never noticing that Adrien had hugged her as well or the stormy expression on her face was mirrored on his. “I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget the look in her eyes as she died!”

 “Oh Mari…..” Alya whispered as they all took in what she had said.

 “Dude….. that’s evil on another level.” Nino siad and even Max with his limited social skills knew that this was beyond anything.  Even Fu looked both mad and sad.

 “In fact, all that I know that shouldn’t have been possible.  Once the Imok has it’s item, you can’t just recall the energy used, and as someone who has created one I should know, you need the item to destroy banish it away, otherwise you can’t.”  Fu said as he looked at the children before him.  “But what happens next is why we think this.”

 “She got sick, like she almost passed out.” Marinette said and looked at them with a haunted look in her eyes.  “And then Hawkmoth appeared and saved her.”

 “Hawkbutt came out of his lair?! Dude.” Nino breathed and Alya looked shocked as Max’s glass slipped off his head.  A gasp caused them all to turn and see two figures at the stairs, Chloe and Sabrina.

 “CHLOE?!?” Adrien gasped and Marinette face palmed as Pollen who had been hovering by the gamohpone shot towards her and hugged her cheek.

 “The puns, how caring Marinette is, I should have seen it.” Chloe said and Sabrina looked out from behind her and waved.

 “How the hell?” Alya asked as Fu looked on and stroked his beard and Chloe shrugged.

 “Sabrina saw you four move along the streets and I saw Marinette looking around and then we saw Adrien transform back and then I picked the lock.” Chloe said with a shrug at the looks she was getting.  “What, I had to do something to pass the time when I was younger and stuck in my apartment while dad was out, learning to break out was something to do, at least until he moved me to the roof.”

 “Come in, the both of you, let us talk for a bit.” Fu said as he looked at Chloe and Sabrina, his eyes on them and with a curious glint in his eyes.  “I have wanted to talk to you for a while Miss. Bourgeois.  And this is as good a time as any.”

 “Good.  I wanted to talk to the person who chooses kids to fight Hawkbutt anyway.” Chloe said as she glared at Fu as he grinned as the others looked at her.

#Miraculous Ladybug AU/ The Law is The Law #ladybug fanfiction #miraculous tales of ladybug and cat noir #mlb fic #mlb fandom