#deep down kind of

[automatonknight]

i hope u kno i think ur tf2posting is awesome because i am too scared to play it (pvp....) but really love tf2 anyway

AWW THANK YOU SO MUCH I'M SO GLAD TO HEAR GENUINELY!!!!!!<333 i love sharing honestly it feels so special...not to get sappy again but this is my first video game experience like that, since tf2 is the first like. multiplayer shooter i've ever played and it's just. so nice when someone teaches me how to do silly stuff like the "intel funny" or when i have the honor of participating in a server-wide dance party. it's just so!!! well. nice and really cool honestly :]

#ask #like. total strangers i may not stumble upon again are making my day better just because i think we just. like being nice to eachother #deep down kind of #as i said that thrusting sniper may not know how hard that made me laugh and the dude who said 'good job' to me also might not know how #special i felt but. well i feel all of that and i'll remember it. do you get me #love forever ok? #and honestly! i know some fears are hard to overcome i was definitely shaking when i joined into my first match but people are really ok #most of the time! and if they aren't honestly just hit the bricks! if i'm not having fun or see an asshole i usually que for another game #2fort i feel like is also super forgiving since people are kind of expecting silly players? but even on idk payload maps nobody gave me any #trouble for being a 50 minutes of playtime noob pyro. and you get better the longer you play like genuinely! #like with the whole spy thing. you start to get a feel for when someone is acting suspicious #recently i've also been unlearning going with the rocket launchers against pyros but that also took like. 5 reflected rocket deaths to #really stick. ok i'm rambling now but it can be a wonderful game :3 #i know this all might sound silly but i started like. kind of genuinely playing games only last summer so discovering all of these new #things is just ahh!!! it's so cool!

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Master manipulator vs Master manipulator

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#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #xue yang #a-qing #The scenes with XY and A-Qing are so delightfully tense and anxiety inducing #They are both so deep in the mind games with each other. Convinced they have the leg up when in reality they do not know the full scope #Also is is just me or do XY and A-Qing give off the vibe of internet nemeses? #A-Qing coming in hard with 'Oh you think blind people cant do XYZ? Get canceled idiot' #Meanwhile XY is the kind to purposefully use leet speak in descriptive text to antagonize the screen reader population. #a teen girl and a 4-channer who found his way to tumblr would be awful to watch fight irl but the vibes are equivalent. #Meanwhile XXC is going on a nice little walk to pick grass. I love him so much actually. #through writing these notes I have also gone down the rabbit hole of trying to pinpoint Xue Yang's age. Hello? Is it actually not known? #The best resources I could find put him as 1-3 years younger then xxc and song lan #So? early twenties? late teens? Someone who has absorbed more mdzs knowledge...Please help #Oh no I'm even deeper in the rabbit hole now. What do you mean the ages are mostly just relative? #What do you mean cultivators can age differently (usually slower in xianxia) #Oh no oh no wwx doesn't have a golden core. I was too accurate in my homestuck AU re: lifespans. I want to go back. #(I love angst and am now marinating this thought in my little thinking chamber)

[puppyeared]

Pokeymon

@ask-willowleafeon @ask-shiny-umbreon

#fuckkkk pokeask nostalgia got me by the throat. I can’t do this again Im not strong enough (does it anyway) #drawing eeveelutions is always fun Theyre so shaped. theyre up there on fav pokemon to draw right next to dratini. and maybe shinx #these two stick out to me in my mind just cause like. their designs are so good it kind of squishes my brain the right ways #I never got to draw Percy for an ask or anything but he is. very creature #and willow of course I have a soft spot for. shes so sweet and gentle uuhghhgghhhh I love her #fuck dude .maybe I will come back adhd be damned. I dont fuckin know. really tempting rn #I tell myself that but deep down I know I suck at roleplay. but maybe I’ll do it. but I suck at roleplay. etc #btw leafeon should be allowed to be autumn coloured without being shiny. it would fix me. I just want Some Guy dressed like a maple leaf #without the awe of being a 1/1000 chance. I don’t CAREEEEE gimme the crunchy red leaveeeesss #I also wanna draw Gardevoir with a barn owl face. and leafeon with seaweed leaves #aaahhhhggghhhhh clenches my fists #pokemon #pokemon ask blog #pokeask #others oc #ask-willowleafeon #ask-shiny-umbreon #Percy umbreon #willow leafeon #myart #my art #pokemon oc

[lovesickeros]

☆ love; heretical and divine

{☆} characters tsaritsa {☆} notes cult au, yandere, drabble, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings blood {☆} word count 0.8k

To love a God is heretical. It is an act of blasphemy– it is to drag them down from their throne of hollow gold, to topple the pedestal the worshipers uphold on their shoulders like lambs at the herders heel. It is the act of forcing them to their knees and ripping that beating heart of glorious gold and beautiful, cruel divinity from their chest, so pure it burns.

To love a God is to make them sin. To make them painfully, horribly human.

To love a God is to sin.

The love of a worshiper is no love at all, brilliant in its raw purity, untainted by sin. It is fear and obedience masked by adoration so overpowering it corrupts. It makes the lamb so unquestioning in it's faith it will never question the knife that cuts, the teeth that rip, the claws that tear. If the Creator deemed them unworthy of the very life crafted by their hands, then they must have committed a sin so grave there lay no salvation for their horrid soul.

But she is no worshiper– her lips speak of heresy as easily as she breathes, her words nothing but lies, cold and cruel like the ice that crawls along her skin like webs.

She loves a God like a lover should.

A damned sinner reaching longingly for the heavens.

She loves a God in the subtle brush of their lips, their muffled voices behind closed doors as they indulge in curiosity untamed. She is a sinner through and through, but she feels herself fall further with every brush of her hand across their cheeks, every touch she bestows upon them like a lover. She memorizes the imperfections of their body like memorizing a map– every scar, every mark, every line drawn on their body like a canvas, her touch the brush that stains the pristine white.

No devoted lamb shall ever see the painting they create in these stolen moments– it is for the eyes of a heretic so vile it makes them shudder, their body dirtied by the love of a woman so vile even their divinity is obscured by the ice.

The lambs may be satisfied with fleeting glimpses of gold and empty words from lips that guide them to the jaws of the wolves, but she is not. Her hands crave them like a starving hound, aching to touch that imperfect skin hidden by the veil of gold that obscures the painfully human body beneath. She longs to free them from the golden cage that binds them– to see their wings blot out the sky, their divinity tainted by sin and making them all the more beautiful for it.

It is a longing that leaves a festering wound that cannot heal, will not heal. Even if it could, she would not let it.

For as much as she tries, deny it as she may, she is no better then the blind lambs following the herder who holds a blade in their hand, glittering like gold in the sun, stained by dull red.

She is a fool, and what a fool they make of her with the touch of their hands against her skin– so cold it leaves frost on their fingertips. Yet they do not fear the cold, mapping out every inch of her imperfections, carved into her body by her own hands.

She has always been a heretic, cursing the divine until she could speak no more, but if divinity can be found in them – in this love that consumes, that burns her hands and her lips – then she is a Saint, praying at the altar until her throat bled.

But in the end, she has and will always be a cold woman with hands stained with blood. Until it is all she can taste, until it is all she can smell, until it is all she can feel. These hands of hers, heretical and divine, will bleed the God from their veins– she will become the wolf to their lamb until the rivers of Teyvat run gold with their ichor, until the gold bleeds into red, the taste of their divinity on her tongue.

Until she drags a God from their lofty throne and makes of them a monster.

There is no greater triumph to the heretic then to love a God into sin. To make a God sin to love.

To love is to be human, and they are no God.

Even if she must tear the gold from their very being until all that's left is something human. Even if Teyvat crumbles and decays, even if it begins over and over again..

She will do it again and again, until the gold can bleed no longer. Until her sins grow too great for Teyvat to contain.

To love a God is to devour, and be devoured. An endless cycle of sin that dulls the glow of gold into something new– something horrifying and divine, in it's own right. Something just as horrid as her, just as divinely corrupted by the sins she carries on her shoulders like a trophy, as gold as the sun and as cold as ice.

Divinity, carved into something human by love all consuming, until it all bleeds away and they begin their dance anew, for as many cycles as it takes.

An eternity, if she must, of dooming this world of theirs to fire and decay for a glimpse of the being snared by their golden shackles.

#sagau #genshin sagau #self aware genshin #genshin impact sagau #self aware genshin impact #genshin cult au #genshin impact cult au #fic tag #tsaritsa #tsaritsa x reader #rip 2 anyone who expected like. a normal fic lol. lmao. #im very normal abt the tsaritsa and love its so tasty #i left it very up to interpretation what like. actually happens but. yknow. #i just think tsaritsa being the god of love and not knowing how 2 love without being weird abt it is fun #also wanted to dig into the concept of reader being fundamentally changed by being the creator besides gold blood yknow #but the tsaritsa Knows its changed you and she hates it. she hates it but how does one destroy what is divine? #how do you destroy the very thing that has created you in its hands so cruel and kind? #ive really gone off the deep end huh #this is a warning 2 the normal ppl u might as well leave now. lol #lowkey going for her actually straight up eating u but decided that was too weird for my first fic in a while. had 2 tone it down #i also wanted to add a bit of a concept of the constant resets teyvat goes through and how it plays into the themes #the tsaritsa constantly stuck in a cycle of getting rid of your divinity to be with you as you actually are but teyvat “dies” shortly after #bc obvs ur not the creator afterward so it just croaks and then it all resets again and again #but its the tsaritsa we r talking abt do u think that stops her. NO #obvs still up 2 interpretation go wild this was just what i intended #can u tell i have a lot of feelings abt tsaritsa and concepts of love from her pov. haha. I PROMISE IM NORMAL #i am mentally well why do u ask #what warnings do i add here. dont open this fic ive lost it maybe. yeah #covid rewiring my brain or smth idk man

[duskvortex]

what if AI-ball... but kiwi

#ai: the somnium files #ai the somnium files #aitsf #oc #lmFAO can't believe im making aitsf ocs that's how deep this rabbithole goes #artists on tumblr #fan art #digital art #i kind of have an idea of a personality for this fella but it's hard to get it down when i don't have a psyncer for him #and yeah decided to make him a little dude #also idk what to name him but i want it to be punny like the other AI-balls #ringo (aitsf oc)

[dogmoder]

people who think that jimmy should've taken the 7 years deal

#bcs #better call saul #bcs spoilers #better call saul spoilers #jimmy mcgill #specifically One Guy i saw on reddit but like anyone who thinks this kind of missed the point of his actions imo #the whole show has been about this guy and his inability to cope in healthy ways - his brother hating him and later his eventual death #after that howard's death and his divorce #we see hints of it during the early seasons - whenever jimmy feels dejected #or put down he goes back to cons and scams so he can feel like a winner again. so he can be on top for once #the whole saul goodman persona is him trying to distract himself from how devoid his life actually is of any deep meaningful relationships #jimmy confessing in the finale is his acceptance of what he's done. he's finally stopped running from everything #is he going to die in prison for his crimes? maybe. but he's finally stopped lying to himself #he can finally start to move on after repressing everything all these years #it's a bittersweet ending but it was perfect imo

[cuoredimuschio]

okay, but where's my steddie AU where steve wants to learn to play guitar to impress a girl he's infatuated with and he remembers that munson kid was always hanging up posters for his weird band at school, so he hikes out to eddie's usual dealing spot behind the track and asks (with far less groveling than he really should have) if eddie will teach him how to play, and obviously eddie says no because why would he want to help king steve, but of course, steve offers to pay him, $20 a week, and well, that's the kind of get-the-hell-out-of-this-shithole-town cash eddie really can't afford to refuse, so fine, he'll teach steve to play and they'll spend inordinate amounts of time together tucked away in eddie's room and they'll start to see that they have more in common than they thought and that they kind of had each other all wrong, and eddie will put his hand over steve's to help him get the placement for a tricky chord and it totally won't awaken anything in either of them?? where is it??

edit: i started writing it

#steve x eddie #steddie #stranger things #someone tell me this has already been written because i need it. please. #bonus points if steve shows up to the first practice session empty-handed #and eddie nearly calls the whole thing off when he has the Audacity to grab at eddie's sweetheart as if eddie'd ever let him play her #and he doesn't even teach steve anything that day because rule number one get your own fucking guitar and keep your mitts off mine #but by the end when eddie is deep deep deep in love and it's time to send steve off to woo this lucky girl of his #he offers to let steve take his sweetheart because she's guaranteed to make him look ten times hotter and cooler #and he'll have no trouble sweeping his girl off her feet and maybe eddie's breaking his own heart but it's fine—as long as steve's happy #except steve doesn't seem nearly as happy as eddie thought he would be #he seems sad actually and eddie kind of hates that so he starts to make some lame joke about how steve should be honored #because eddie wouldn't lend his baby out to just anyone and that gets steve to crack half a smile #but then he puts the guitar down on eddie's bed (with all due gentle reverence) walks over takes eddie's face in his hands and kisses him #kisses him like he's been dying to do it for weeks. because he has #because somewhere along the line it stopped being about wanting to impress a girl and started being about wanting to be with eddie #it started being screwing up on purpose so that eddie would grab his hands and show him how it's supposed to be done #and forgetting about lessons entirely and just sitting around and listening to eddie talk or just watching him play #because somewhere along the line steve fell out of infatuation and into love with the last person he ever expected.... #anyway idk where i'm going with this

[gayleafpool]

i think a big thing people get wrong w leafpool’s character is thinking her passivity comes from like fear or insecurity or being shy or something when really it comes from like. defeat. she’s been burned so many times so now she just accepts it there’s no point in fighting back

#learned helplessness #in tnp she’s very much like a rulebreaker and kind of a little shit lol #she likes going out on her own and making friends with cats from other clans and getting involved in things cuz she’s bored #she’s rebellious and craves having deep connections with others which is why being a medicine cat starts to weight on her and makes her #impulsively decide to run away with crow #esp because she’s also watching her best friend sorreltail grow up and move on. and she’s watching her sister grow up and move on #AND SHE FEELS STUCK SHES LIKE OH. BUT THIS IS IT FOR ME ISNT IT? #so she just reacts she needs to get away!! and then everything comes crashing down and she spends the rest of her life getting punished for #that choice #which slowly crushes her fire and teaches her that her desire for something ‘more’ was never going to work out #and she’s too tired to keep fighting so she accepts that #but she’s miserable about it and this misery makes her even more exhausted #so then she just kinda ends up numb #there’s no point! #SHES SO INTERESTING TO ME AAAAAUUUUGHHHHHHH it’s been so long since i’ve rambled about leafpool….. my girl……

[gutsybitsies]

controversial opinion perpollo should be way sassier. i don't even ship them and i think this is how it should go (with percy in his mid 20s of course):

percy constantly has self doubt issues and doesn't think that he's good enough. but when he's with apollo, he thinks "ah yes this asshole is enough of a loser to vibe with my loser vibes."

with anyone else he thinks "what if i mess up and this person leaves me?"

with apollo he thinks "yeah this is just a fling, he's a fucking asshole?" and then sprays water at apollo's head to make a rainbow. but the "fling" just never ends and both of them are too idiotic to do something about it.

and if percy's in his mid 30s-40s when perpollo happens its

percy: "you're good looking enough to sleep with but your past actions have me unimpressed." and "i've worked too hard to be emotionally well adjusted for you to come barging in with 4000 years of issues"

then percy accidentally negs apollo into being obsessed with him.

#perpollo #pjo #percy jackson #apollo pjo #apollo lester #i feel like when i saw the ship name i had a vibe for it but when i clicked into some fics the vibe was completely different #and of course people can write what they want and what they want from apollo is very different from what i personally see in apollo #i just think perpollo is probably a hilarious ship with untapped comedic implications #of god who's a little obsessed and a mortal demigod who's very very unimpressed #also come one dad bod percy in his 40s raising an eyebrow at whatever the fuck apollo's doing to get his attention #and when it inevitably embarrasses apollo percy's just like are you winning son #he would never intentionally neg another person he just deep down is so unimpressed and kind of hates the gods

[bakedbeanz]

Postin my kid oc from FNV, Tumbleweed :) Basically that kid thats only comeback is how he did your mom. Also im a Benny Gecko likes dad jokes truther

#my art #my ocs #benny gecko #fnv benny #fallout new vegas #fnv #tumbleweed #deep down hes a good kid and kind of a wiwi #tumbleweed wishes he had an xbox live account but he doesnt :( #The punchline of the joke is none btw #they're too short staffed to fund it

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Felled by one bowl.

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#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #lan wangji #The original joke I wanted to make was Lwj's head going *thunk* on the table #but it turns out drawing characters at that angle is much harder than anticipated #so now he gets to be a sleepy little kitty boy on the counter. #WWX is the dogboy to LWJ's catboy and I stand by this. That man can meow. But in a deep tenor. A Grandpa cat meow. #I will throw down my points of evidence if people refuse to see my catboy lan wangji truth. #Drunk lwj in general is very funny. I'm going to be biased and make way more comics than I should about his antics. #Also; Is it not kind of ironic that 'bowl' and 'blow' are anagrams of each other? #it becomes an accidental play on words when translated to English that 'LWJ goes Down In One Bowl' #We all know he can take a hit. 33 to be exact.

[heartbeatbookclub]

I was looking at a few posts about autism (as one does) and it just suddenly clicked into place a fundamental thing about Yuri's character that I'd been grasping at, but hadn't really been able to adequately identify. I still have a much longer and more thorough analysis going through a whole lot of my thoughts on Yuri's character and her experience of autism that i'm working on (of which this will likely be a component), but I thought I'd share this separately just to emphasize.

Post I saw which made this click for me was making fun of the fact that most media depicting impaired empathy in autistic characters explicitly depicts them with this unflappable confidence of never having been rejected by people they love. The crux of this is that in actual reality, autistic people almost always have that experience at some point, for some behavior, for reasons they don't really understand. "There is an invisible line where people will get sick of you, and you have no warning of when you're about to cross it." So frequently, autistic people attempt to ride a razor thin edge, walking on constant eggshells to desperately attempt to avoid crossing that line.

Very often autistic people will attempt to avoid doing anything at all which could be considered weird, or off-putting, and will try their absolute hardest to do things in a way that is acceptable to other people, sometimes to the point of outright suppressing their emotions, because they are afraid that they'll say something just wrong enough that the people they care about will push them away, and they don't understand WHY it happened, but they know it's THEIR fault. Sometimes masking is fighting to appear aloof all the time because you can't regulate your emotions in a way that is acceptable to other people.

And holy fucking Jesus, that fits the exact mold of what I've been trying to talk about with the particular way Yuri's anxieties manifest.

It really feels to me like Yuri has this constant fear of breaking the "rules" of socializing, despite not really understanding what those rules even are. She's constantly afraid of saying something wrong, when she doesn't even know what wrong would be, she's just sure everyone ELSE will know it when they hear it. I think a huge part of her social anxiety comes from her own understanding of herself as a very weird person who doesn't really get a lot of how to socialize, and it seems to me like she's probably dealt with her fair share of social rejection and isolation based on those traits. She then felt she had to take responsibility for those traits, probably because it's the one thing she can change, and she is the one common denominator in all of these bad situations (This is something which is pretty common, actually! "Everyone else can socialize just fine, and I have so much difficulty with it! I must just be broken in some way. I have to try super hard to be normal to make friends!")

I think a big part of why it's so apparent in the Literature Club is because she really thinks she's found a place where she can make friends in spite of all of her issues, so when she starts...being herself, and receives even the smallest HINT of pushback, she overcorrects and tries to rein all of herself in to fix her "mistake", because she really wants to make friends here, and doesn't want them to reject her as well.

She's had this experience of others pushing her away for being weird so often that, coupled with her acknowledged trouble for reading situations, when anybody responds poorly to something and she recognizes it, she immediately overcorrects out of fear of being an annoying burden to everyone around her, and that "correction" consists of suppressing herself into being "normal" (or at least "less weird"), because she believes nobody could actually like her just for being who she is. There's something wrong with her fundamentally, and to make friends, for people to like her and want to be around her, she has to "fix" herself.

it's just, like...

it's really hard for me to interpret Yuri's character that doesn't involve her being somewhere on the spectrum, bros. she's written with such delicately constructed autistic coding, despite the appearance of just being a hackneyed weird girl visual novel trope. she deserves the world.......

#related which i'll hopefully talk about in my bigger analysis piece; #i think it's really neat how sayori & yuri's particular kinds of neurodivergent thinking clash in understanding! #like id say sayori is big adhd energy (might talk about that at some point) & deep in the anxiety hole #& yuri is very much autistic with a lot of obvious anxiety #& despite the fact that they clearly relate to each other a lot and have a lot of the same self-destructive thinking #the conflict in understanding is the huge misunderstanding that they get because of the way they both present themselves to each other! #& sayori has a lot of issues which yuri misinterprets as her not liking the book because of her own issues! #& yuri has a lot of issues which sayori misinterprets as sayori's stupidity discouraging yuri because of her own issues! #despite them both trying to tell each other that that isn't the issue at all in different ways. until yuri finally breaks down #& SAYORI BRIDGES THE GAP BETWEEN THEM BECAUSE SHE'S THE GOAT #GRAAAHHHHH I HAVE SO MUCH TO FUCKING SAYYYYYYYYY #ddlc yuri #ddlc #doki doki literature club #musings

[basu-shokikita]

Obsessed with the fact that we got a throwback to the iconic Vallhaska moment in the Army of the Doomstar movie.

#army of the doomstar #army of the doomstar spoilers #aotd spoilers #metalocalypse #toki wartooth #skwisgaar skwigelf #skwistok #so many people predicted it when the trailer came out but holy shit dfjhsjhfd #and of course the receptor has to be a bitch about it #the skwistok way #i also think its amazing how toki (death depresentative) just kind of assumed that even though they were all gonna die skwisgaar would stil #be around like out of all of them he only talked to skwisgaar #something something toki deep downs know abt the powers that connect them #idk its just like so impressive to me that pickles tried to comfort toki and all for toki to walk to skwisgaar about seeing him #in the afterlife it just like #speaks volumes to me #bitches be fated and they know it #basu post

[dirtytransmasc]

Miles 42 bullies the bullies at his school, never making a big show of it, but stepping between a bully and their victim with a cool, calm, collected demeanor, scaring the bully off one way or another, giving the would-be victim a quick nod, and then walking off. Does he corner those bullies later as the prowler for unknown reasons? maybe, whose asking?

he may not be the friendliest guy at school, he may not have many friends, and he might give most people who try to get close to him (outside of Ganke) the cold shoulder and bare his teeth; but he hates bullies with his whole chest, and he will be doing something about it.

he's also the type of person to "not have many friends" but he has many "acquaintances". like he knows the boy with glasses in his math test saves his seat in the back corner. he knows the girl in his english class will always tell him where they are in the book they're reading if he gets lost. the tall kid who sits at his table at lunch leaves behind a snack for him when he leaves, cause he looks too skinny. he always repays the kindness, in his own way, but he will never call them his friends. friends are dangerous and time consuming and they make him soft, but he's also so desperate for interaction, that he breaks his own rules just a bit.

#I have so many hc's for this little dude and all of them are delusional #I love him #this post exists in direct comparison to all the people deciding that he would be a bully in any capacity #he is miles #miles is him #you think he'd capable of truly being such a lowly asshole that he would let other be bullied let alone partake in the bullying???? #WRONG #listen #he may be socially reclusive/stunted cause y'know trauma and being the prowler and everything #but he is kind deep down #even if he can't let people in #that doesn't mean he doesn't consider them *his people* #much like Miles 1610 considers most people to be *his people* and is therefore protective of them #he may not have a load of “true” friends but he notices the kind things people do for him #Miles Morales 42 #Miles 42 #Miles Morales #Mylo Morales #prowler miles #atsv #across the spider verse spoilers #across the spider verse #spiderman across the spiderverse #spider man: across the spider verse #across the spiderverse

[fatuismooches]

Thinking how there are two particular segments that affect the most with Fragile! Reader waking up from their coma. Of course all of them are affected by it, especially Prime, the one that had been going through all of that, but prime has the ability to move on(??) Yet the segment?? Their time is suspended at that period of time whichever era of life Prime created them, after all different ages, different eras, different wisdom. So there's two particular segments that got hit the hardest with Fragile!reader waking up.

1. The Akademiya segment: the one that sees how strong reader are, the one that is stronger than he is. The one that sometimes has to carry him out of any fight that he got himself into. The one that is doing the heavy lifting between them. The one that carried him like a sack of potato while running at full speed because they accidentally triggered many ruin machines. That person reduces to this sickly person that on their worst day, can't even carry a pen.

2. The one that tastes the failure segment: this is the Dottore that tastes his failure, failure to figure out what's wrong, failure to cure Reader before their illness spiralling and becomes worse. The taste of failure from reading negative and failed results of his research about reader illness. The failure of coming with an empty hand searching what is the cause and cure of reader's illness. And the first one that had to endure that cold and quiet loneliness. The one that had to endure no one replied or got into his personal space, the one that used to be greeted by the silence. Finally got the reply that he long for. Imagine this dottore develops a habit of talking his thoughts out loud to fill in the silence. And one day he is just wondering out loud about some Fatui's work while taking care of reader, and reader thought he is talking to them so they reply and the speed of his head snapping to face reader is worrying

It just them 🥲🥺, i think after reader warm up to the segments, and the segments are sure their presence doesn't make reader nervous anymore, i think this two is the most clingy.

(im so sorry this is very long 😔😔 but them... Hmmmrghh)

OMG IM CHEWING ON THIS LOVINGLY... AHHH YOU'RE SO RIGHT!! Having such vivid memories of the old you is both a blessing and a curse for the Akademiya segment. Because he can clearly remember how beautiful you were, how you shined so brightly without a care. Your exceeding strength as you nearly put people in a hospital for making fun of him (numerous times). Him making you carry a bunch of equipment and books for the expeditions. You perfectly fighting off enemies for him every time while he looked on. You carrying him out of there when things got too serious despite his protests to investigate more. (You picking him up bridal style and him fighting and flailing in your arms as he fought you.) You being so lively and happy, pulling and dragging him along wherever.

But those days were a mere memory now, a reminder of the past that will never happen again. As you were now just a shadow of your former self. Never to be seen again, no, not with how weak you were now. Although you seem to have accepted your fate, even though it hurts you greatly. But this segment can't do that. He can't help but think of the old you. The way you gently tug on his hand now, compared to how you used to yank on it nearly making him trip back then. He will never forget.

AND OMGOMGG hold on... you've actually given me a ton of brain rot with that segment. I never thought about it before, there being a whole period in Dottore's life where he truly feels like he's failed, that nothing's working, that you'll be sleeping and ill for the rest of eternity. Perhaps because he exudes such confidence all the time, but maybe there was a time he cursed himself greatly for failing you. This segment's memories are full of failed experiments and torn notes decorating the floor. Your sleeping face burned permanently into his mind. The silence is all he can hear, but your voice rings in his head, although he knows it's not real. Your cold hand is the only texture he remembers. This segment especially doesn't like to be around people. Among the agents, he's known as the strangest, as he never acknowledges them, not once. Not having the time or energy to care about anyone else besides you. Despite the segments not needing sleep, he always seems tired and gloomy, probably because that was what Dottore was like at that stage. When you finally woke up, he had a hard time believing it was real, because of how long he waited. Despite his longing for you, he has a hard time showing it, unlike the very grabby and touchy tendencies of the other segments. Tends to stare at you and watch for long periods of time rather than do anything about it.

You certainly don't mind their clinginess. It's rather cute. But, you can't help but feel a bit bad for causing them such pain. You give them lots of kisses to hopefully remedy that.

#smooches talks #fragile reader <3 #dottore love notes <3 #its actually kind of sad when u read the theories/character analysis on dottore on the way he actually hates himself deep down too #i definitely love this a lot and i think this segment needs a lot of kisses #ALSO DONT APOLOGIZE. I LOVE LONG ASKS.

[screwpinecaprice]

She probably wears men's pants.

#College Connie #This what she wears to Uni I bet. #Okay but seriously. I'm kind of a cheapskate and I take some hand downs from my taller younger brothers. The pants do last longer #than the ones from my sister and Ma #connverse #connie maheswaran #steven quartz universe #my shiz #skedoobles #steven universe #They're suppose to be holding hands on the bottom right. And I never looked back on it even if I could have cleaned it up. #The yellow parts were actually justa cut out page from the same sketchbook. I just colored them in Medibang just because. ( ⁠•⁠ ⁠ʖ̫⁠ ⁠•⁠ ⁠) #Sometimes she borrows Steven's skirts tho because they all have deep pockets? #Idk why I think that's the case. But it's my headcanon now.