#did i make this entire gifset purely because i love that moment in the last gif when gil rubs malcolm's shoulder?

[aceofwhump]

Prodigal Son 1x02

#whumpedit #whump #prodigal son #malcolm bright #tom payne #gil arroyo #lou diamond phillips #my gifs #mod post #stumbling #dizzy #support #seeking support #father son #did i make this entire gifset purely because i love that moment in the last gif when gil rubs malcolm's shoulder? #yes #yes i did #it's lovely #soft #so soft

[bloodydeanwinchester]

hi jenna gif questions for u 💜 what's your favorite part of making gifs? what's the most valuable thing/tip/trick you've learned? what's some of your favorite gif sets you've made?

hi ida!!!! sorry i took a couple days to answer this i wanted to wait until i had some time to think about it before i answer! i loooove these questions tho so thank you so much for sending them 💜💜

my favorite part about making gifs is probably coloring and like...that moment when i get the gif to look exactly how i want it to. i like to play around with coloring and try a lot of different things with it and that can be so fun! i think over the last like 6-8 months my coloring has really improved a lot and i've been having a lot of fun learning new ways to do things! but i actually had a really hard time coming up with an answer for this question because i mostly enjoy the entire process! the only part that i don't really enjoy is picking out the frames for each gif. i always start with way too many and then i have to cut stuff out and i hate that part. also it's reaaally hard sometimes to not end up with like 20 gifs cause there's so much i want to include!!!

okay im gonna cheat on this one and give a few things i've learned since i started that have been sooooo valuable to me. first is the importance of having a good quality download to start with. i think my gifs got significantly better when i finally downloaded all of the episodes in 1080p instead of using the screen recording on netflix like i had been before. second sharpening is so important! i did not do any sharpening on my first gifs i made! sharpening makes the gifs loook sooo sharp and crisp and pretty. third and kind of similar to sharpening was learning/figuring out how to use the camera raw filter. there's sooooo much you can do with camera raw filter (coloring sharpening lightening). and finally one thing i learned that i think made my coloring look significantly better was to try not to lighten the gif too much and/or to figure out ways to lighten darker gifs without it messing up the background too much (sometimes when they're lightened too much it will like pixelate the background and it looks awful)

and finally (in order of when they were made from oldest to newest) here are links to some of my favorite gifsets:

Bloody Dean Throughout the Seasons Set - this one actually came out really good considering the fact that it was made only a month after i first started making gifs! if i remember correctly it's the first set that i ever used sharpening on.

6x20 F+TM King Set - this one is a favorite mostly just because i love the song so much and tmwwbk is one of my favorite episodes. i think some of my favorite sets to make are the ones that i add lyrics to.

2022 Nov 5th Set - i was really happy with how this one came out! it's so hard to get gifs from episodes over different seasons to look the same! and this one had gifs from 12 different seasons! also i think this was the first set i ever made that got over 1000 notes which i remember being really excited about!

Laughing Dean Set - this one is a favorite purely based on the content of the set. it feels like injecting serotonin every time i look at it<3

1x12 Faith Set - another one based on the content of the set. i just love this episode so much.

Season 9 Dean Set - i LOVE the coloring in this set! and season 9 dean is so beloved to me. he is just so beautiful and bloody and sad.

2023 Cas Day Set - another f+tm lyric set! i love the space overlay that i added and the blue-pink of the coloring so much!

4x18 Destiel Every Episode Set - i loooove this scene so much! this gif series has by far been more popular than any of the other gifs that i post and this set is definitely the most popular in the series. no other set has ever even come close to getting 4k notes like this one did. also i really like the purple coloring a lot<3

#thank you so much for the questions ida ily<333 #jenna.ask #gif making things

[gayregis]

what are your feelings about geralt and yennefer? either book or game or netflix or all of them?

books

i agree with most canon*. it’s a good relationship that sapkowski put a lot of effort into developing and writing over the course of all of the short stories and the saga, so i think it tends to get more attention just because the author gave it more attention. i think it’s pretty incredible that geralt and yennefer have this deep relationship without even seeing each other in-person for basically half of the short stories and half of the saga, sapkowski did some interesting things to make that happen, but it ends up working.

i appreciate how geralt and yennefer are two very vulnerable people with issues relating to intimacy and letting others into their life, and they actually aren’t ready to have a relationship before they become more mature and understand what love actually means. imo, their journey to committment is a little too focused on monogamy and looking at relationships through that lense, but that is/was the viewpoint of the author at the time.

the major thing for geralt x yennefer as a ship for me is that i appreciate it in canon, whenever i read their romantic parts i feel it’s sweet, their moments in the end of the last wish, at thanedd, and the end of the assault on stygga castle are really moving and wonderfully written. i like how they speak about each other and feel about each other when they are apart. it’s something i can support and like, i feel a lot of this is tied to them being parents as well but it works overall. 

something i also appreciate about them is how they’re really different from a lot of other m/f relationships. geralt isn’t fucking cruel, he acts like a human being and also has the capacity to apologize and act humble towards yennefer, being kind and caring so much about her feelings and what she wants. yennefer isn’t just a sex toy for geralt, she exists as her own person and is a very strong personality, but also isn’t cruel and doesn’t take him for granted. together, they really do care about one another.

BUT. even though i appreciate it in canon and in all of the parts i have read*. i literally can’t really ever think up my own thoughts or headcanons for them. and the reason for this that they never DO anything together in canon, asides from living together in vengerberg, going to thanedd, and participating in the fight at stygga castle. all they ever do TOGETHER as a couple is stay at home, go to a formal party, or fight for their fucking lives trying to escape the mad torture and grief wrought upon them and their daughter. in the other moments, they are just thinking about each other in loving manners, yearning, if you will, but whenever they are together it’s never an activity with potential for a story.

in my mind i HAVE to compare and contrast yennefer and dandelion and their respective relationships to geralt, just because they’re the two closest adults to him that he has in his life. the issue for me with geryennefer is that it doesn’t have potential like gerlion does. geralt and dandelion do all KINDS of fun, weird things together. mainly they go to festivals and bars, but they also just ride to different cities across the continent and explore, sometimes dandelion accompanies geralt on contracts, sometimes geralt has to meet dandelion in a place significant to him like oxenfurt. dandelion is constantly embroiled in other personal relationship drama. they actually DO a lot of things together, and these different scenarios are really interesting as a fan, because you can just think up unlimited things that they could have potentially done during all of these years. with geralt and yennefer, you can’t really do that because yennefer doesn’t travel, she has a house and a career and is a very esteemed and classy woman. in addition, this is just a personal preference it seems, but i never really get too involved in characters (and thus, ships with those characters in them) that don’t have an element of comic relief to them. geralt and yennefer can be in love, but i don’t know what kind of funny situations they might find themselves in, i don’t know what funny or wacky interactions they might have. and so it’s not all that interesting to me.

similarly, another thing i always compare and contrast geryennefer and gerlion on is that geralt and dandelion are so different. they’re entirely opposites. dandelion is very extroverted, flirty, gets into trouble, and has no issue with vulnerability or intimacy. geralt stays away from people because they despise him, he stays away from drama, and he’s not experienced with intimacy, he is insecure. they have a lot of friction there as two characters interacting with one another because of how different they are and the different lives they have had that influence who they are and who they might know, what they might like to do in a situation. in contrast to this, geralt and yennefer are very similar people. they both have a lot of issues with intimacy and vulnerability that makes them finding each other and developing with each other over the course of the series very compelling and interesting, but boring when you want to think of headcanons or new adventures and interactions for them to have. once they have developed their characters, they will stay developed. unlike with geralt and dandelion, where there will practically always be at the very least a little friction between them because they’re just so fundamentally different.

tl;dr: geralt and yennefer is a compelling and well-developed relationship in canon because sapkowski just poured his entire heart into developing them, they have many endearing moments together and develop their characters together and parallel each other in many ways; however, this means that they’re very similar characters and their goal as a couple is to finally be able to settle down, and that makes them lack potential as a ship to think about as a fan (in relation to thinking of new interactions for them or new situations for them to be in). 

so as a fan who has ships, i have many many headcanons and ideas and fics in-progress (that i will never get around to writing) for gerlion, but basically nothing for geryennefer, which kind of sucks. but i also don’t disregard geryennefer as not canon or something like that, i just think that geralt can have both a boyfriend and a wife because i am disrespectful to sapkowski’s writing of yennefer as a possessive lover and his emphasis on monogamy as the ultimate commitment.

* obviously the shitty things that sapkowski did relating to consent in the last wish and something more (it’s basically canon that sorcerers/esses can hypnotize others into love and sex, but yennefer just chooses not to do this with geralt after the last wish because they Love Each Other Truly or something like this) should be retconned, just as i retcon the fact that geralt slept with barely-legal essi and shani, just as i retcon the off-color comments and jokes that got written for dandelion

games / cdpr

it’s... fine. yennefer got a major personality retcon and a lot of what cdpr says about their relaitonship doesn’t make sense and is pretty cringey, without much depth (apparently, they bonded over making witty puns...?) but it’s also a video game and we finally got to see yennefer and ciri in the witcher games franchise, which is a gift enough of itself, because they’re like, the most important people to geralt. cdpr has this weird infatuation with triss merigold and sexualizes her at every chance they get, her personality is incredibly different from the books, they basically made her really easy to wife up because she’s just very sweet and agrees with everything you say and loves you, so i am just glad that we have another option besides OOC triss. 

but yennefer is also pretty OOC in a lot of parts, she has been rid of all of her character development from the series and even though she makes a lot of sacrifices for ciri, tw3 is incredibly reluctant to call her ciri’s mother, so what was the point of all of this. they also nerfed yennefer incredibly by making her hair salon curls instead of actually naturally curly, stormy hair, so that detracts from her entire character. the fact that she’s working with nilfgaard is just plain laughable and the fact that geralt is ok with this is even more laughable. there’s not even that much ship material between the two in the game and whatever there is is pretty cringey and base with no real depth or intimacy, so i cringe whenever i see a romantic gifset or something of them. it’s yawntown.

netflix

i despise netflix version of them because they’re incredibly boring and basic with pretty much every common major issue with depiction of a m/f relationship on screen: huge age cap between cavill and chalotra which is uncomfortable to watch because chalotra is only a few years older than freya allen who is meant to play ciri, geralt’s daughter..., they jump into romance and sex way too quickly (yennefer receives geralt in the midst of a huge orgy and is very seductive and sweet to him instead of zapping his ass with lightning and threatening to kill him, she also bathes in the same bathtub with him immediately instead of turning invisible to make a fool out of him), consent (geralt’s wish in their adaptation of the last wish wasn’t heard by yennefer, and in the end, he says “my plan worked,” which are three words pretty much no one wants to fucking hear after sex), weird homophobic joke upon meeting (yennefer says jaskier is “just a friend, [she] hope[s],” which is... it’s 2019 guys, come on), they argue for pure drama, geralt is sincerely mean to her (laughs at the idea of her being a mother), their intimate scenes are tasteless, they break up by the end of the series in the adaptation of the bounds of reason because geralt was mean to her... 

there’s so many things i can’t even begin to list them all, but those are a few key ones. geralt is just a purely unpleasant character in netflix so he doesn’t deserve to be in love with anyone, and yennefer is such a basic and boring character with no sincere flaws or uniqueness that i can’t be interested in her at all. and together, they’re every heterosexual relationship that has ever existed.

#geralt #yennefer #i dont even have a ship tag for them just bc its not something i ever think about #ask #anon

[theseerasures]

Conspicuous Media Consumption, 2020

it’s that time of year again! *saddest toot from the party horn*

for those of you just joining us: it’s a “consume a different content every week for 48 weeks of the year” challenge. for a longer explanation, check out last year’s write-up here, and as always, feel free to pop in and ask questions about any and all of this content.

(same disclaimer as last year too: content for this project ONLY here, and not certain...*looks at my billion Sad Cop Lady posts*...hyperfixations.)

(man remember when i was big into X-Men comics earlier this year? better times than these, if only because no one's discoursing about Emma Frost’s woobie/war criminal ratio anymore--her w/w, if you will)

(...i swear at one point i didn’t exclusively like platinum blondes but alas)

Bitter Root (comic, 1 issue finished 1/1/2020): still very cool on a basic concept level, but runs into the Image Comics problem of just not having enough content to keep my interest beyond that. part of that is on me, for picking it up again BEFORE the second arc rolled out, but the first five issues didn’t really follow (or resolve) any cohesive story either, so...meh.

Immortal Hulk (comic, 3 trades finished 1/17/2020): still not gonna be something i care deeply about (maybe one of Bruce’s Hulksonas dyed his hair???), but i do want to give kudos to Al Ewing for sheer consistency in terms of sustaining this level of quality storytelling month by month for more than two years now. working with the dense archive of the Hulk mythos and managing to make it interesting and thoughtful is impressive even if i personally would not expend the same effort.

Disco Elysium (game, finished 1/18/2020): honestly i should have twigged onto what this year was gonna be like when the third thing i drew from the barrel was pure uncut Eastern European flavored depression. i faintly recall people ragging on it for being pretentiously cynical, but i actually thought its core slid more towards idealism than people give it credit for. also gratified that i haven’t heard anything about Robert Kurvitz using slave labor to finish it, which is a thing we have to say about our video games now!!! fun.

Watchmen (TV, 7 episodes finished 1/27/2020): i am a fool who wants to believe in Damon Lindelof and I WAS RIGHT!!! honestly still cannot believe that he pulled off this highwire act with such deft aplomb. might be my favorite TV this year, which is a pretty high bar given how much TV i ended up watching.

On a Sunbeam (comic, finished 2/1/2020): Tillie Walden rightly deserves all the praise for inventive queer storytelling, but i will say that on reread--since i first read this as a webcomic--there ARE some issues with pacing here that clearly come from the foibles of its original intended medium. still just excellent, even if after some plot significant haircuts i was having trouble telling a few folks apart.

Lazarus (comic, 1 trade finished 2/8/2020): it’s so good and i want moooooorrrreee--though obviously Rucka and Lark have the right to take all the time they need. the newer longer issues work really well with the epic prestige drama vibes of the story! i’m into it.

The Good Place (TV, 4 seasons finished 2/18/2020): i’m gonna be super honest: i actually wasn’t a big fan of the finale, nor the last season as a whole. it felt like all of Eleanor’s flaws vanished for a majority of the season, and the Chidi-centric episode where they tried to give a legible justification for why he’s Like This was...i didn’t care for it. still, it’s so good and unique on the WHOLE that we’ll literally never get anything like this ever again, and that counts for a lot.

The Old Republic (game, finished 2/21/2020): it’s an MMO so it will never actually Be Finished so long as the servers aren’t shut down, but i caught up on the content i’d missed in the intervening months. Onslaught thus far has mostly been...kinda bland tbh; going back to Imps vs. Rebs after all the shakeups in the previous expansions feels like a waste.

High Road (album, finished 2/22/2020): someone should tell Kesha not to say that word!! otherwise i was very happy with this album, and happy FOR her even though we don’t know each other. being able to find joy again in the same genre of music you made while you were being horrifically exploited is very cool.

Young Justice (TV, 13 episodes finished 2/28/2020): given how much the middle stuff dragged--STOP KILLING YOUR HIJABI CHARACTER IN HORRIFIC WAYS--i was...actually kinda mad by how the end managed to stick the landing anyway. the day being saved by Vic’s self-acceptance and Violet’s sublime compassion was A+, and even the Brion/Tara switchup was a pleasant surprise, though it relied on me caring about Brion MUCH MORE than i actually did.

Manic (album, finished 2/29/2020): do people still care for/about Halsey? i feel like even That One Song that was on every tumblr gifset ever has kinda faded into obscurity at this point. this album was...okay. i feel like people give Halsey a pass for extremely obvious lyrical turns that they wouldn’t for other folks because of her subject material--which is fine. not really my cup of tea, but i also listened to lots of Relient K this year, so that’s probably a good thing.

Jade Empire (game, 3/10/2020): the only 3D-era Bioware game that didn’t franchise out, and for good fucking reason!!! the Orientalism and appropriation really haven’t aged well, and even beyond that the story was...standard Bioware faire. even my usual “my wife’s a bitch i love her” Bioware type didn’t do it for me, and i just ended up romancing no one. it did make me think a lot about what level of cultural borrowing is accepted nowadays, and why: people still look fondly at Avatar and talk about how ~accurate and respectful it was, for example, despite it being staffed almost entirely by white folks, and the Orientalism ALL OVER the monk class in DND is still fine for some reason.

Alif the Unseen (book, finished 3/31/2020): interesting to have read this AFTER reading The Bird King last year, because it highlights how the intervening years have shifted G. Willow Wilson’s thematic interest and improved her craft. i’m actually quite fond of how her characterization work is rougher here--Alif is extremely flawed to the point of being insufferable, but it makes his development by the end more satisfying. Dina is also just good and i love her

Baldur’s Gate (2 games, finished 5/31/2020): well, having finally finished the series i’m happy to say that it...still doesn’t really do it for me, sorry. any awesome story moments were overshadowed by the EXCRUCIATING inventory management system and the combat (i still don’t know what a THAC0 is and at this point i’m afraid to find out). these games crucially lack the Home Base that later Bioware games were so good about, and that (coupled with the huge cast of characters you can drop off and never see again) really hurts the intimacy for me. by the time we finally did get one it was the Hell Dimension in Throne of Bhaal, and i was just...trying to get through it. (yes, i did just say that about one of the most beloved expansions ever to one of the most beloved games ever.) THIS particular iteration of “my wife’s a bitch i love her” was very good, but the game wouldn’t let me romance her :(

The Underground Railroad (book, finished 6/19/2020): honestly what is there even left to say at this point! it was exactly as good as every critic on the planet said it was, even with my usual aversion to hype. draining and horrifying in turns but still insistent upon a future for Black folks.

Steven Universe (6 seasons and a mooooooviiieeee, finished 7/11/2020): yes, i DID finish the show and almost immediately begin a rewatch. this series is now one of my top five most formative things, and the amount of love and respect i have for it is incalculable. that said: i once again did not love how the central conflict of Future was resolved (just the resolution--i loved the finale just fine). for all of Steven’s breakdown was built up, resolving it with “EVERYONE HUG HIM UNTIL HE CRIES” felt...cheap, especially since up until this point the show had been so good about treating trauma and mental illness with the respect and nuance it deserves. it made me wish some of the earlier, less substantial episodes had been cut so we could spend more time at the end.

What It Is (comic, finished 8/19/2020): y’all i love Lynda Barry SO MUCH. for the longest time i was worried that One Hundred Demons was more a lightning in a bottle situation but every book of hers i pick up makes me feel obscure emotions i didn’t even realize existed. the compassionate way she’s able to describe her child self and how weird and fucked up she was (and still is) is honestly aspirational.

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (TV, 5 seasons finished 9/26/2020): so here’s a reversal of what i’ve been complaining about with other shows: i was mostly lukewarm-to-warm about She-Ra, but the later seasons and the finale made me much more into it as a whole. more shows should improve in stakes and overall quality as they age tbh!! i still don’t actively love Catradora (my sole quibble with season 5 actually has to do with the way Adora kept backsliding as a character to make certain Plot/Relationship things happen), but i’m very happy for them nonetheless. i can certainly appreciate a show that will go for High Feeling over tight plot. dark horse standout moments: trees growing everywhere proving that Perfuma Was Right, and Hordak and Adora seeing each other--that weirdly intimate moment of recognition.

Fetch the Bolt Cutters (album, finished 10/7/2020): again i find myself not having much to say that no one else has said. it’s good! once again love it when an artist reclaims something they’d attached with negative affect (anxiety, depression, disordered eating) for better and brighter things.

Solutions and Other Problems (comic, finished 10/25/2020): i was very into Allie Brosh’s ambition with this book, which feels weird to say but i stand by it. it’s cool to see an artist try to make a new medium work for them instead of just sticking to what already works. not all the experimentation was 100% effective, but it was still delightful and occasionally devastating to read, so.

Legend of Zelda (3 games: Ocarina of Time, Majora’s Mask, Link Between Worlds, finished 11/1/2020): this was the third time i’d played Ocarina of Time, which made it the nice, comforting groove i settled into before Majora’s Mask blatted me in the face. i’m not usually a completionist Zelda person because...the gameplay in Zelda is bad, do not at me it just is, but i really felt like i HAD to be one for Majora’s Mask since the whole point is to get attached to the banalities of the town. i’m sure nobody’s surprised that i loved it, even if it gave me an existential crisis about how life goes on in the game for NPCs when you’re not there to save them from it, and there’s not enough time to save them all all the time (also not a surprise to anyone: Romani and Cremia gave Personal Feelings). Link Between Worlds...bad. not like in a “this is a bad story by every measurable gauge” way, but i was already struggling with the 2D playstyle shift enough that for the whole story to end with some “yes it’s v sad that Lorule is Like This but trying to steal Hyrule’s privilege is Even Worse Actually” noblesse oblige bullshit left a VERY poor taste in my mouth, this year of all years. i did audibly gasp when Ravio took off his mask, though. i’m currently playing Breath of the Wild in cautious increments; it’s the first time i’ve enjoyed early Zelda gameplay, but if they wanted fully voiced cutscenes i wish they got voice actors who...knew what words sound like.

folklore (album, finished 11/6/2020): my belief that Taylor Swift is Just Fine continues, i’m afraid. i LIKED this album, don’t get me wrong, and respect her constant drive to innovate, but i didn’t love it substantially more or less than any other Taylor Swift album. mostly i’m just tickled by how she thinks leaning into the indie aesthetic means borrowing Vita Sackville-West’s entire wardrobe, though i will admit to feeling Something when she swore in a song. i think it was like. savage vindication?? you go ahead and swear, Taylor Swift. you deserve it.

Shore (album, finished 11/19/2020): do people still care about the Fleet Foxes? i think there was some Drama with Josh Tillman a while back but i don’t remember where the discourse landed with who was being more problematic. it was nostalgic for me to listen to their new album--made me remember being an undergrad who exclusively listened to men who mumbled and played acoustic guitar all over again.

Star Wars (3 movies: original trilogy, finished 11/27/2020): there is So Much bad Star Wars these days that every time i rewatch the original trilogy i’m afraid that they will suddenly be bad, but guess what! they’re not. i love these children and their hot mess stories, i love that Lando doesn’t know how to say his best friend’s name. what stood out to me this time was the way Obi-Wan described the Force in A New Hope, which strongly implied that ANYONE can be Force Sensitive; that obviously faded with each subsequent movie, but part of me does wish they’d kept it.

X of Swords (comics, 22 issues finished 12/5/2020): i am enjoying Hickman’s X-lines!!! not so much here for the Grand Conspiracy or whatever, but the character work and highkey weirdness is fabulous--they FEEL like X-Men, despite all the shakeups in-universe. this crossover is a nice microcosm of all that: grandiloquently all over the place, but still full of cool standout moments and genuine hilarity. ILLYANA DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO SPELL MAGIC.

Fire Emblem (4 games: Sacred Stones, Path of Radiance, Radiant Dawn, Awakening, finished 12/14/2020): this was the thing that i was closest to giving up early on, but i ended up hyperfixating on it instead. that’s a credit to what the gameplay does to my lizard brain more than anything else, because the story and character writing is...insipid. it was very bizarre to witness this franchise blunder around with its animal-people racism allegory around the same time i was getting back into RWBY, and ITS animal-people racism allegory blunders. Awakening was the first time i felt anything for the franchise beyond “teehee red units disappear make exp bar go up and brain go ding,” so i’m excited for more mature storytelling in subsequent games (they MUST get better. they MUST). the child husbandry thing is...very bad tho, and Apotheosis being “challenging” entirely through the game changing all the rules is also bad.

once again no vidya games that came out this year--i’ll probably pick up Spiritfarer or Hades after the New Year, though (or maybe TLOU II! but probably not. sry Laura and Ashley). more TV and franchises this year, which made me feel In Touch with the Children but was also kinda exhausting. nothing was so egregiously terrible i dropped it without finishing! in a year like this that feels almost like an accomplishment

#conspicuous media consumption

[theexecutionerssong]

Okay, i gave these questions a lot of thought because i was trying to answer for myself and i got curious what your answers would be😂 whats your favorite first episode of the season? Favorite last episode of the season? Favorite episode overall? Favorite ___!dean/sam/cas? (Like demon!dean or Gadreel..) favorite male/female side character ? (Besides charlie bc that’s obviously a favorite) Favorite funny episode or moment? Favorite break of fourth wall? (i feel like fanfiction ep is an obvious one at least for me so let’s say besides that one) favorite “oh shit/wtf” moment? (for me that was demon!dean i remember my jaw dropping) you already mentioned Abaddon was your favorite villain which is understandable but lets say second favorite? Favorite Cas/dean/sam moment? (Doesnt matter if its a together moment or them separately) and the last one to this interrogatin is favorite case they worked on or i guess memorable one that was just one of their cases and not emd of the world related? anyway sorry for a shit ton of questions, you can ignorite it if you’d like i was just curious.

Alright let’s tackle this! 

Fav first episode of a season: either Lazarus Rising or I Think I’m Gonna Like It Here.

Favorite last episode of the season: Sacrifice. That’s for sure, no hesitation.

Favorite ___!dean/sam/cas? (Like demon!dean or Gadreel..) : Purgatory!Dean, hands down. I could write essays about the line “it felt pure”. I propably have.  Honestly every version of Cas always all the time except for Casifer and endverse!Cas. Early seasons Cas, human!Cas, hell, even Godstiel, I loved. And don’t get me wrong, I obviously love endverse!Cas but it hurts too much. Same with endverse!Dean. And for Sam... I like regular Sam just fine but if I had to pick another version then soulless!Sam. It made for very funny moments.

Favorite male/female side character ? (Besides charlie bc that’s obviously a favorite): well, first of all, rude that I can’t pick Charlie, but then... Jo or Donna. Or Claire. Ugh this is hard.

Favorite funny episode or moment?: First one that comes to mind is in Plucky Pennywhistle's Magical Menagerie when Dean can’t stop laughing at Sam covered in glitter after killing the clowns. And Sam’s face in the French Mistake when Genevieve shows up. Gold. Pure GOLD. The bitchface in Tall Tales when Sam says “Dean, WHAT do you think you are doING?” lmao I lose it every time sdfghjkl and Jensen’s delivery as demon!Dean in Reichenbach when he says “What did you think was going to happen, huh? You just stroll up here and say, 'My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.' And I'd just roll over?” with the accent and the smirk and everything....... peak comedy.

Favorite break of fourth wall? (i feel like fanfiction ep is an obvious one at least for me so let’s say besides that one): Fanfiction and The French Mistake and Meta Fiction and the entire Season 15 obviously come to mind but honestly my favorite is when they reference Bugs. I even made a gifset here. I think it’s hilarious.

Favorite “oh shit/wtf” moment? (for me that was demon!dean i remember my jaw dropping): I had seen that one coming for a long time but, yeah, it was very well done. My favorite is the angels falling in Sacrifice because we all thought that Cas was going to fall but I don’t remember anybody back then thinking that all angels were gonna fall. I also didn’t think Dean was really going to go to Hell at the end of s3 so that was a BIG oh shit moment. The 4 months that followed until Lazarus rising were STRESSFUL. Oh and Dean making up a complete set of memories of what really happened in Purgatory. I remember losing it when we found out that Cas chose to stay, I mean do you understand how LOUD that is???

you already mentioned Abaddon was your favorite villain which is understandable but lets say second favorite?: if not Abaddon then Alastair, especially the second actor. He was terrifying, so so good, no wonder Jensen got scared. And obviously, the first Death but I don’t consider him really a villain. 

Favorite Cas/dean/sam moment? (Doesnt matter if its a together moment or them separately): as Team Free Will you mean? Honestly 9x22 when Cas asks “do you really think we three will be enough?” and Dean replies “always have been”. I mean... that’s why the finale sucked so bad, isn’t it? They obliterad that fact to millions of pieces.

and the last one to this interrogatin is favorite case they worked on or i guess memorable one that was just one of their cases and not end of the world related?: oh la. that is soooo hard... But for very obvious reasons, Heaven Can’t Wait with the angel killing people in pain, I mean it had Cas holding a baby, Dean to the rescue, the whole “kicking and screaming” speech, the mere concept of a monster being drawned to pain. Yeah, I enjoyed that. Bad Boys was also an excellent monster of the week episode and throwback to early Supernatural. And I love Dean with kids. Which makes me think of Dead in the Water, so so good and scary. And I’m also a sucker for Djinn episodes, especially the first one What Is and What Should Never Be. It’s such a great concept.

That is clearly more than just one favorite but when you have 230+ hours of television... it gets tricky so you’ll excuse me ^^ and thanks for asking!!! no i wanna know yours!

#gaelle parle #spn #Anonymous

[actuallylorelaigilmore]

I was just going through my #odaat meta tag and I re-read this one of yours [post / 172076218500 / i-love-your-meta-on-schneider-and-his-need-to-be] and now I kind of want you to update it for S3--like, how S3 built upon and added to all the things from the previous two seasons. But I know you have a long list of fics to write and gifsets to make, so no rush, no pressure. But if you're inspired, I'd love to read your thoughts!

as s4 starts tonight, now seems like a great time to update that meta series :D

since it’s been two years, here are the adorably retro rambles i wrote back then (i was so newly in love with schneider and his found family! it’s cute to see!):

part one & part two

for those who don’t want to spend all day reading them, the gist is that an ask invited me to discuss schneider, and i did…and then i got another ask disagreeing with a claim they thought i was making about schneider in the first one. but my conclusion overall was:

S1 of One Day At A Time gave us [smudged first name] Schneider, who is always there when anybody needs him, and it told the audience that he considers himself a member of Penelope’s family.

S2 of One Day At A Time took the Schneider we were told about in S1, and it SHOWED us where he came from, how it led him to who he is now, and why that makes him a part of the family.

During the quinces dance in 1x13, when Schneider joins them on the floor, the audience laughs.

When Schneider tells a comatose Lydia in 2x13 that her family is also his family…nobody laughs. Because it’s not even a little bit funny. It’s just true.

That’s how you develop a character without changing him. And that is why this show is everything to me.

in this case, you didn’t ask for a new specific angle like i had for the previous metas, so i’m just going to ramble about how schneider, his place in the family and his sobriety are further developed in s3…behind this cut!

honestly s3 is a goldmine for those of us who love schneider. he has more story, he gets to show even more range as a flawed but lovable human, and we get to fill in more details about what continues to be his interesting but not-that-deeply explored life. (i will not rest until we know if schneider’s original mom is alive and neglectful, pushed aside by his dad–or dead and replaced. I WILL NOT REST.)

there’s a lot that happens in s3 that i was even specifically wishing for. besides the fact that i wrote his sobriety chip going in the museum as a fic before it became canon (can’t i just write for the show already? i’d be good at it!), i really wanted to see some proof that his friendship with penelope was not as one-sided as it looks in s1 and 2. 

as i mentioned in last year’s metas:

Schneider is the epitome of someone whose emotionally neglectful childhood turned him into an adult who is desperate to be loved. Who expects people to leave him or not like him very much…who is himself full of love and gives it away to people who deserve it AND people who don’t. He’s unconditionally devoted to his best friend and her entire family, he’ll be their mentor or support or punching bag when they need it without hesitation, which is so pure it hurts my heart.

Ir hurts my heart even more that he doesn’t demand anything back, though. He focuses on them and their needs completely, and while it’s easy to list off moments that demonstrate why Schneider is Penelope’s best friend, times he has helped and supported and openly loved her, the reverse is harder. I think those moments are there, but much like Lydia visiting Schneider in rehab prior to S1…we haven’t gotten to see them.

well, now here we are. i got my wish, and it broke my freaking heart, but in the good way. penelope wasn’t just there for him in the ways you would expect, like trying to be chill and supportive when his father was going to visit–and then working through her own issues to offer him love and reassurance about his value to her as a person after their resulting fight.

she also faced what was probably one of the worst case scenarios she could’ve imagined for schneider, given everything she’d already lived through with the kids and victor. and she never once hesitated. she did everything she could think of to help him, even when that meant planting her feet and refusing to get out of his way to stop things from getting worse. 

penelope looked at her best friend and knew not only what he was going through in those terrible moments but also what he was capable of in his better ones, and decided not to let him go. not then, not ever, as long as he was willing to keep trying. which of course he was because s3 also told us that losing his true family would be the worst thing he could imagine for himself.

speaking of his sobriety, that was the area where his character was developed in huge leaps this season. i wasn’t expecting that to be his s3 arc when i said this, but again, i give past me a lot of credit for being psychically linked:

In the first season, all of Schneider’s sobriety mentions are played for laughs, until Elena’s coming out storyline. We get a lot of mentions, actually–about his addiction to gambling, his stints in rehab, his five year chip–but he talks about it breezily and other characters don’t invite him to elaborate.

As viewers, we know he’s an addict and an alcoholic who’s working a program but since he’s not the focus of the show, we’re not asked to think about it much. However, since Penelope is separating from someone who is also struggling with addiction and we know they celebrated Schneider’s milestone right after moving in (when they barely knew him), we can infer that she takes this very seriously.

one of the interesting things to me about victor’s storyline at the end of s1 is that the show doesn’t try to draw parallels between them at the time. the season is just so not about schneider that it doesn’t come up, not even with victor staying at schneider’s place after penelope kicked him out. 

the two times schneider seriously discusses his history with penelope are instead in relationship to elena’s coming out (one of the central arcs of s1) and in relationship to penelope’s mental health (one of the central arcs of s2). which makes sense. but by the time we’re heading into s3, we’ve also seen schneider talk to lydia about his past, in more heartwrenching detail than ever before, while she’s unconscious. 

so as much as it hurts to watch it happen because of a relapse, it’s also nice to see him get much more serious moments related to his sobriety in s3. from his counseling of penelope about alex smoking pot, to the alvarez museum, to the balcony with dr. b, schneider talks about it a lot without it being a joke at all. this is awesome and fitting--he has earned being taken more seriously as a character and a family member. 

not all the time, it’s still a sitcom obviously, but in s3 he’s treated like an honorary family member with a serious history of addiction, not just a hipster landlord they like having around.

and the relapse storyline teaches us so much about schneider that we didn’t know before: what triggers him, how well he can lie when it matters to him, what a different person he becomes once he’s no longer sober, and most importantly, what he values enough that it can convince him to stop drinking again after he’s started. all of the pain involved in those reveals makes him seem more like a real person.

in terms of schneider’s growth, i was also really hoping that he would get to experience a healthy romantic relationship at some point. to quote me again:

And Schneider trying to do romance…wow is he lowkey out to break your heart. Thanks to what he witnessed growing up, he thinks a good relationship can be two people who don’t even like each other, that love probably isn’t real, and he jumps at the chance to be married, like he just needs a person to belong to–anyone who’ll have him.

s3 did give us some growth for him on that front, though not as much as i would have liked. he met someone he really liked, who seemed to really like him for just who he is, and who seemed to want more than a surface-level relationship of hooking up.

since we don’t know what happened with avery after his father came to town, i’m not comfortable saying that they did have a healthy relationship–we’ve got no proof they didn’t, but also nothing concrete to say that they did. we just know that while they were broken up, they missed each other a lot, and they were really happy to be reunited. 

i won’t feel good for schneider about finally finding his first stable and healthy love in avery until we actually witness them work through an issue rather than just moving past it with no real discussion. ‘i came back and you’re sober again’ is not automatically the same thing as ‘everything is now fine and we’ve learned and grown from what just happened and are a stronger couple because of it.’

also it worries me a lot that schneider thinks of avery as perfect. he has so little experience trying to do the real relationship thing, i need him to learn she has flaws, and that means it’s okay that he does, rather than keeping her on that pedestal and believing he’s unworthy. because that’s already a vibe he’s given off since we met him, and i just want better for him than that.

and when it comes to schneider’s place in the alvarez family?whereas s2 left him as a firmly self-identified alvarez, s3 kicked off by showing us that he had been enveloped into the larger family with the funeral--and then both of his major storylines this season, his father’s influence on him and his relapse, solidified it even further. 

elena puts extra work in on the whole building to help makes schneider’s dad proud of him, and the whole family welcomes the man despite their valid misgivings--with penelope even very impressively not punching him in the throat. it was entirely for schneider’s benefit that they tried so hard, especially pen. he deserved their love and effort where his father really didn’t.

and when his father’s presence threatens to take him away from them in a fundamental way, turning him into someone they don’t recognize, i honestly think it scares penelope. she gets angry, and she lashes out, sure, but underneath that she’s scared too, because she’s supposed to be able to count on schneider. he’s one of them, he’s family--not one of those guys. ‘the man.’ 

so their reconciliation not only mends their bond but strengthens it, because all that penelope wants is for him to stay family. to stay theirs. 

which is a priority she probably would not have expected to have back in s1, but it’s crystal clear that it’s true in s3, especially once she realizes schneider might be drinking again. 

her immediate reaction to the possibility is denial, which i love because it shows how deeply she really does trust him at that point. he’s not just the friend who sends her dogs in wigs and drinks coffee with her mom: he’s a man she expects to be stable and present in her life, even though she knows his history includes decades of addictive behaviors. 

it also shows that she doesn’t want it to be true, possibly even more than she believes it couldn’t be. she knows how addiction works, she has to know that schneider’s not guaranteed to stay sober even after five years without a drink. but she needs him to be.

the way the rest of the family rallys around schneider further makes it clear: he’s part of them, yes, but not because he’s forcing his way in. he’s wanted there. in s3, schneider is an IMPORTANT member of the family, who is loved even when he makes bad choices and breaks their trust and has to earn it back. 

and that’s the biggest evolution for his character, to me. after the way s3 ended, it’s hard to imagine schneider not being a part of their lives--not because he refuses to leave them alone, but because they wouldn’t have it any other way.

now, much as i like to share my grievances about parts of s3, schneider’s characterization isn’t on that list for me at all. it remains remarkably consistent for a character who started out on the periphery. and honestly, before i reread these metas today, i hadn’t thought about that much. 

you can finish watching s3, where schneider is 30 days sober and still trying to pull his life back together after relapsing, and then start watching the pilot episode, and there he is–the same guy we know and love and understand better than we did in the beginning.

so, to end this the same way i looked back at the first two seasons...

S3 of One Day At A Time took the Schneider we had gotten to know better in S2 and showed us a completely foreign side of him, using that to make clear just how important he is to the family now.

After Penelope told Schneider he wasn’t really part of the family in 3x10, she went to lengths she never had before--handholding and sincere compliments--to make sure he knew that wasn’t true. And afterwards, when Schneider put them above his own father, because her family is his family and everyone knows it...it was a completely serious moment.

That’s how far Schneider has grown in Penelope’s esteem, and as a character, in just three seasons. Without losing what makes him Schneider. Which is why this show is still everything to me.

#this is shorter than the other one so it doesn't make my brain feel like it's going to melt and i actually like how it turned out #one day at a time #odaat #schneider #penelope alvarez #bethanyactually #replies #meta #odaat meta #mine

[neon-green-reagent]

Top 10 Absolutely WTF Moments in Horror

So what am I even talking about here? That moment in a horror film when you ask yourself, "what did I just watch?" Where you have to reexamine your entire life and all your choices because that was so unbelievably bizarre and mind-boggling. You'll find I won't be going for your usual, popular films here, because even in horror, mainstream movies tend to play it safe. The truly strange is reserved for films that go under the radar typically.

There will be SPOILERS for the movies I'm listing, so tread lightly. Under a cut for that very reason. Also, expect a lot of all caps and helpless flailing. Because this shit is wild.

10. Night Train to Terror (1985) - A strange, uneven anthology film where the wraparound story is what makes it so special. God and the Devil are telling each other stories and philosophizing about morality. On a train that is set to crash. There is also a rock band on the train that never stops singing and dancing. And God really likes them and takes them to heaven when they crash? I don't know. But it was great.

09. Evilspeak (1981) - This is a truly sad character piece about a kid who can't get ahead and resorts to dark means to keep his bullying classmates and teachers at bay. And then at the end he flies in the air with a sword and kills everyone with pigs and the power of Satan. What a sudden left turn. I'm still reeling.

09. Scanner Cop (1994) - Take any Scanner film, and you're bound to find a moment in it that will etch itself in your brain forever. They are not your typical films. In this case, a scanner who is also a cop (dig that title) is desperately questioning the bad guy's right-hand woman as she is dying. So he mentally chases her on her way to hell. She tries to trick him into switching with her, so he'll go to hell and she will inhabit his body. Instead, he blows up her head. Her... spiritual head. And it sends her straight to hell. Mm. What.

08. The Unholy (1988) - This movie needed just a little more than what it had. Something about it just didn't quite click into place. But there is one truly delightful thing. GIANT RAT DEMON WITH HANGY GROSS RAT TITS! It didn't need to have those hangy rat breasts, trust me, that was purely for effect. Also, said rat makes a priest eat its flesh in a completely disgusting communion, and he's blind afterward. Some of these, when I get done describing it, I don't know what else to say.

07. Spookies (1986) - This entire, broken movie probably applies, but specifically the scene with the... hallway demon? What was that thing? It looked like Swamp Thing, with an open chest where you could see its beating heart. It electrocutes its victim with a thin tentacle, and then her face melts. The whole time I was watching it, the next thing that would be revealed about this creature baffled me even more than the last. He's so weird. I love him.

06. Nightmares (1983) - This is an anthology movie consisting of four segments, but the one I'm talking about is the third, and it stars Lance Henriksen as a disillusioned priest. He decides to leave his parish because he just doesn't have it in him to lead his flock anymore, and he sets out across the desert. A big, black truck starts stalking him and clearly has it out for him, and it's confirmed this truck is a DEVIL TRUCK when it BURSTS OUT OF THE GROUND LIKE A FUCKING GRABOID. This moment was preceded by the most suspense and buildup I've ever seen, and as simple as it must've been to pull off, it doesn't disappoint.

05. The Church (1989) - A sort-of sequel to the Demons films, it's basically just religious horror mayhem in an old cathedral. When things really ramp up, we have both a goat monster having sex with a woman while a group of people stand around and chant at them. And also something I struggle to describe? The floor opens up, and this mound of muddy people all stuck together like some bizarre statue rises up and makes my jaw drop. I've reblogged gifsets of it a couple of times, because it's both mind-bending and darkly beautiful.

04. Night of the Demons (1988) - This is probably as mainstream as the list will get, and this movie is pretty cult. Still popular enough. Which means you know what I'm about to say, I bet. Suzanne. Putting the lipstick. INSIDE her nipple. Where it just disappears. Never to be seen again. And I was never the same after seeing it happen.

03. Mausoleum (1983) - '83 was a good year for insanity. Also my birth year. We won't be reading into that. Anyway! This is a movie, to make a long story short, where a woman is possessed. There's a scene here her husband comes home, and she kills him. Simple enough? She kills him with her BREASTS that have become DEMONS FACES WITH MOUTHS FULL OF SHARP TEETH. The effect was done by John Carl Buechler, and it looks beautifully nasty. What is with these moments and breasts? Why so many weird things with breasts?

02. Beyond the Door III (AKA Amok Train) (1989) - This is more a story beat than anything that looked bizarre, but it still takes the cake. The premise of the story is that the devil is choosing his bride, and she has to be a virgin. Just before said bride has to go mate with her devil husband, she has this odd encounter with the last man nearby who is still alive, a mute stranger she'd never met before all the weirdness started. She goes to the marriage ceremony, the evil witch figures out she's not a virgin, AND THE DEVIL EXPLODES AND FACES MELT AND WHOA. But it gets better. Who was this mysterious virginity taker? A FUCKING SAINT! A saint came down from heaven and had sex with her. Words fail me.

01. The Suckling (1990) - @aloy-of-the-nora knows what's coming. This fucked up movie is about a girl who has an abortion at a brothel, and the fetus is exposed to toxic waste, which transforms it into a mutant. I mean, the premise alone fits this list, I know. But once it has laid waste to everyone, it turns toward the mother. And. SHRINKS ITSELF BACK DOWN TO BABY SIZE AND JUMPS BACK INTO HER WOMB. And when it does so, it makes this sweet little baby coo, which coupled with how weird looking the little puppets are, makes it absolutely hilarious. This one... broke me. I haven’t stopped laughing about it.

If you're an adventurer into the absurd like I am, I hope this has given you some new stuff to try. Also, if you know of a movie that has an audacious moment like this, tell me. I love this shit so much. Also, I hope you laughed or smiled or something equally good. 

#this is the weirdest list I've ever made

[kitt-rider]

ok now that it’s not 6am and i’m not half asleep after making that gifset of kitt being reprogrammed by bonnie for deauville i can talk about it more. like. that was Really Something. it’s something you’d never expect to work, but michael was so sure of it that he stood right in front of kitt who wouldn’t even have to try to kill him, who was under the control of somebody else because his whole programming told him to be, and spoke to him. he knew that kitt would remember him despite the fact that he’s not programmed to solely protect michael any more. he’s programmed to obey somebody else. bonnie forcefully pulled out his cpu (and the last things he said before essentially shutting down were about michael, later leading into the fact that despite new programming, his primary thoughts were of michael and it was so deeply embedded that he remembered it despite having his ai overwritten) and when he came back all he knew was what he was programmed to know. to obey deauville and nothing else.

yet all michael had to do was speak to kitt. the likelihood of kitt remembering despite everything is so low. but i think michael has imprinted on kitt in so many ways. it doesn’t take long for kitt to start talking like michael. pick up his quirks. banter with him. start to act a little bit like him. michael is the closest human to him in every way, even closer than bonnie or devon or even wilton who created him. michael is his universe (but we see that he begins to branch into his own interests, research languages and other human cultures, which means that he’s still free, despite belonging to michael. his primary function is to protect him, but as the series go on we start to see that he has freedom as well and perhaps starts to choose michael instead of be forced to work with him, which in turn leads into the fact that he chose michael over doing what his entire system is telling him to do which in turn shows that love and attachment will overcome pure force of will. to belong to deauville would mean to have no freedom, no personality. to not be kitt anymore.) and thus there’s no way he could have killed him.

michael’s possessive language could be seen as though he sees kitt as an object, as his personal item, but it’s not that. it’s more than that. it’s a reference to the times michael has teased kitt about other cars that he might like better, about how kitt gets very jealous but then michael will say something to assure him (”you are as good as gold to me”) because kitt is michael’s favourite, and he can’t see himself driving another car (long term). it’s something michael says because it’s a thing they have between them, it’s a silently acknowledged fact on both their ends. that kitt is michael’s car, and michael is kitt’s human.

michael says to deauville that kitt was programmed to protect human life at all costs, and that was the reason he broke through. but was it? when kitt assists in the robbery, he could have just as easily hurt people. his only function at that moment was to aid the break in, thus i think his programming to protect human life was overwritten to be completely subservient to deauville. on top of that, deauville is a smart guy. i’m pretty sure he made sure that kitt’s programming to protect human life was also reprogrammed to make sure there would be no slip ups. having something like that holding back a guy who’s had 3 of his own men killed (and who was prepared to have michael killed) doesn’t seem like something he’d let happen. so what’s left? kitt’s love, devotion and loyalty to michael, and as well, michael’s love and trust for kitt. michael trusted kitt would come through. he was prepared to offer up his life he was so sure. 

we see kitt struggling with his programming. he has his orders, he works for deauville, but there’s something holding him back. michael proclaims ownership of him, has a desperation and love in his voice, and then kitt drives backwards slightly. something deep in his core is telling him that this person is his person, that this human is not to be harmed. that this human is to be trusted. love, trust and communication. those two  have built that up throughout their time together, and it’s something that can’t be broken by logic or science. logically, it makes no sense. but that’s not what love is. it’s irrational, deep, and has no foundation in science whatsoever, and it’s clear that kitt and michael love each other very much. there was no need to physically alter kitt. there was something deeper there, something which science couldn’t ever explain, something which proves that kitt goes beyond just a simple cpu. he has the equivalent of thoughts and feelings. he is capable of feeling love. we hear it more in his voice as time goes by. he has pitch, he has emotional tone to it, despite his claims that he’s a machine and doesn’t feel, he definitely does, in some kind of a sense. maybe not a human sense, but in some way. he feels.

it’s also the classic breaking through mind control with love trope. when a character is controlled or possessed and their loved one begs them to see reason, begs them to remember who they are and their love, and sometimes it works. sometimes it doesn’t. in this case it worked. this can be a platonic, romantic or familial connection between characters, and i think that this particular scene with kitt and michael can be seen in all three ways, perhaps all at once. honestly, this show is not at all helping how much i ship them haha.

afterwards, michael breaks through to bonnie. he says they love each other, and she comes to. since it was immediately afterwards, and he used the same tactic with her as he did with kitt, it can be said that he and kitt love each other too, even stronger, in fact. their love is so deep it broke through all logic. it broke through something which should not be complex, and proved that kitt is just that. complex. he is not simply a machine, and while he obeys michael without thought, it becomes more and more obvious that he’s starting to choose to, rather than be forced to, seeing as it wasn’t his programming which made him break through and rejoin michael. it was michael’s words. he chose michael, and continues to do so.

i just. ugh i love that episode (and hate it bc it huuurts) and i love that scene. so poignant, and makes such a case for proving that kitt has feelings and affections, and his most deepest affection is for michael.

#.txt #knight rider #michael x kitt #meta #bruh i just wrote an essay. wtf lmao #mine

[infinitiesofbooks]

Me rambling about S3 and being an emotional mess

Okay, I have feelings and I need to talk about them. This is not a constructive analysis or anything this is just me talking about SOME of my favorite clips from season 3 of Skam France because it's the end and i'm emotional.

I knew this season would be awesome from the second I saw the trailer.It was genius and I still watch it sometimes because wow.I love that we saw the I saw you the first day of school scene. I love that we were all fooled into believing it was Lucas. Because he's the main and i also think because of the clothes, that's something Isak could wear. But little did we know they were making their own thing.

"T'es pas comme les autres" + adding to this the minute par minute talk

Skam is a very emotional show, with very emotional scenes but I didn't cry cry as much as everyone did. And it's okay obviously. I teared up, thought I was going to die because of the pain, internally sobbed during the whole season. (For me it's 50/50 or I cry a LOT or I just can't because I just have too many emotions and my body is just dying, but it doesn't diminish the pain oh no) But the only two times where I really really really cried were during T'es pas comme les autres and the minute par minute talk. For mpm, I was expecting it. This is my favorite quote of the Skam universe, I use it everyday and it really helped me dealing with mental illness. I knew hearing it in my native language would wreck me. I was tearing up during the whole clip but I just bursted into tears when Lucas said it.

But I was not expecting the "T'es pas comme les autres" clip. I remember watching it, sobbing, thinking what the hell is happening to me. It's a mixture of Lucille's speech, the piano music (i tear up everytime i listen to it) and the images of Eliott. this.was.too.much.for.me. But I love this clip with all of my heart, and I cry as much everytime I rewatch it but I love it.

The piano scene

This scene. This freaking scene. It's unique,it's beautiful, it's a masterpiece. I have a thing with piano, it always gets me emotional and it's my favorite instrument, and I listen to piano music every day.But.this. this was incredible. And it's a scene nobody expected and wow it had so much impact. I can't find the words about how much I love this scene. And I won't ever be able to forget the T'es Suprenant. I remember not being able to sleep after this scene because I couldn't get over it.

Intervention

This is one of my favorite clip. First the acting, Axel how how how? I also love how it's as much as a sad clip as an hopeful one. Yes, it's sad but Mika and Manon are here for Lucas, he finally has support, and it's the clip where things are changing , Lucas starts accepting himself in the next clip and it's beautiful. And also some things that were said in this clip hit me so strongly and I think about them everyday.

Viens on en parle pas

god. Manon coming to Lucas? Her crying ? Him conforting her? And then when he started to cry my heart broke. This was powerful and I'm so glad this clip exists.

Also I didn't talk about Le premier, Combien de Lucas dans l'Univers, the painting/fucking, french o helga natt,not because I don't love them, because I freaking do, they're in my top 10,or even 5 clips (especially combien de lucas, if I did a top 3 it would be here with the piano scene and T'es pas comme les autres (this clip did something to me okay?) and the parallel universe talk with the music behind always get me so so so so emotional and tearing up) but because I've already talk so much about them and said pretty much everything I wanted to say.

Special mentions to Eliott following Lucas on instagram. So many of the instas udpdates are pure gold, so so so many, but I don't think I freaked out more in my entire life than the day Eliott followed Lucas. I literaly went home walking because I had too many feelings and needed to calm down.

Also a little list of my fav things from watching S3

-Lucas & the girl squad. Every. Single. Interaction.

-the millions french words the international fandom is now saying (please don't use them in french class)

-moi c'est Eliott + I can still remember Maxence and his chocolates bars on his insta story being so excited about the clip

-Lucas stalking Eliott

-the whole foyer subplot

-P. O. L. A. R. I. S

I got so emotional over a gifset the other day with the first kiss and O helga natt with the polaris quote

And the fandom becoming astronomers

-Alexia being a bisexual queen

-the dubstep is still making me laugh especially Lucas listening to it and saying he's into it to Chloé

-the unsubtleness. cf : how would you draw me

-Lucas and the marks on his cheeks during the foyer party

-i have an unhealthy obsession with the call your girlfriend scene, seriously, how many times can i watch a clip before it gets weird? Also when the music change when Eliott looks up ahhhhh

-Pas forcément une meuf (and the whole I want to be in a relationship thing ), I have a tattoo appointment to put this on my forehead.

-The whole Grillé clip was gold

-I love Pecholand too, it's so funny to rewatch because ahhh we knew it. Also just Lucas's voice when he's changing the subject from Eliott to something else. Everytime I watch it, I have this feeling, you know, when someone or something is brought up and you start panicking a little inside and you try to stay calm and like nothing is affecting but you're still trying to change the subject. It's a very specific feeling and he NAILED it, the tone of his voice is exactly exactly this.

-The beginning of Phase de Latence (ending ?? What ending?? This clip ends when Lucas steps out of the classroom)

-Emma and her lava lamp. Emma, my love. I see so much of me and my friends in Emma, and the more we have the more I love her. She just seems so real to me.

-The Isak reference

-Arthur&Basile + Daphné + Yann + Imane reaction and talk after Lucas coming out

-the J'ai tué ma mère ref. I knew it. I wanted it. They delivered. Thank you.

-the reaction to the mural monday morning omg. I really thought they were going to repaint it after. But these idiots didn't and they didn't even try denying anything. And I would have bet Daphné would have killed them but I'm glad she loved it.

-Eliott + Imane

-The boy squad Fangirl™ Moment to Elu. I wanna tattoo their faces on my face.

-Them hanging out in the park. This felt so nostalgic to me. It's exactly how I spent my 1ère afternoons in high school, lying in the grass with my friends, reading, talking and it's some of my best memories.

-Elu shotgunning omg

-Emma Manon and Lucas drunk = incredible

-Basile speechs and supporting Boy Squad

-Lucas and his mom AND THE FREAKING PIANO WHEN HE WROTE THE TEXT

-Him defending the mural, Imane being a queen and then Daphné after too

-Leave a light on hahahaha

-the realness of J'ai pas besoin de toi (just wanted to say, i'm still singing Joyce Jonathan every time, just because of the title, not any signification)

-Lucas and Eliott being THAT annoying couple

-All the drawings

-Raccons and hedgehog

-the acting. I just can't see Axel and Maxence, no matter how hard I try (i just tried it for the sake of this point and I just can't, they don't exist when filming)

-David making me cry with his instagram posts

-every single update from instagram

-David changing his profil pics and the fandom loosing it

-the scarf™

-Just everything the cast did. I could make a whole separate post for that.

-Wednesdays

-All the times we were fooled

-THE FREAKING JE T'AIME I'M STILL NOT OVER IT

-Eliott counting the minutes he's been appart from Lucas in the last clip, that dork

I feel like i'm forgetting so so many things, but I can't write down everything, especially the fandom stuffs and how much we freaked out over everything, and all the debates and theories but this has been my favorite part

I'm so glad for this season, and it had been an incredible ride. I also think i would not be this attached to it if I didn't discuss the clips with everybody on tumblr everyday. Thank you. You all made this special.

I wanted to start tagging people but the list was getting way way way too long and I'm afraid to forget someone and also the less people see my rambling the better it is. But if we talked even once,or if we’re mutuals, or If I liked your posts or you liked mine, i love you. So i'm just gonna thank my two friends I talk everyday with.

@praecise we've been talking since the beginning of the season and I'm so glad i was on that ride with you, you're the best

@aspewofnonsense we started really talking only after but i'm so so glad we did and i can't wait to meet you in may

I'm a really nostalgic person and I hate endings, and even if it's also a beginning because you bet i'm gonna follow S4 with the same energy ( I was already so hyped just by seeing Imane at the end of the last clip) , it's the end of Lucas pov and I will forever miss him. And seeing everybody in the tag saying goodbye and thank you to our boy ahhhh. Watching this season was an unique experience and it was so special. But i can't believe this is over. This morning i was listening to music when Remember attacked me without my consent and i started full on sobbing. The whole day i felt almost sick because i knew it was the end, in my last class i was really really feeling bad i couldn't do anything. But after the clip i was sad but also so much happy. I'm so thankful for this season and for Lucas's story.

(Also after the last clip, i was sitting on the ground in the train watching the landscape through the windows as the sun was setting, thinking about everything ,poetic cinema right there)

This afternoon I was like I should be less dramatic. But fuck it, I like being 300% invested in this. Being inside a fandom is my favorite thing.

I feel like I could never say everything I want to say, but (i was listening to music and my song just say i just wanna say thank you as I was writing this yes that's exactly this song) I just wanna say thank you. <3

#skam france #skam france season 3 #lucas lallemant #Eliott demaury #Elu #Me rambling

[austennerdita2533]

A/N: Here’s an exploration of Klaus’s final thoughts while dying because why write happy AUs when I can suffer in canon hell instead? Loosely inspired by (THIS) gifset.

**ALLUSIONS TO MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH**

(A03)(FF.net)

Happy reading!

xx Ashlee Bree

There are few constants in this world. Though it’s not the most revolutionary thought to be archived, there is none more relevant to a monster who’s currently stretched thin and waning piece-by-piece into the cityscape, his mind drifting off like flecks of paper as he expends his last gulps of borrowed air into the dusk until he disappears.

Such a stark truth helps to put everything back into perspective. His eyelids can flutter closed with one less regret now because he knows…yes, because he knows…

Hardly anything stays the same here.

The sun rises then sets, only never in the same way twice. Opportunity gushes forward when it should trickle in instead. Blood sustains but it too runs dry the longer his fangs cling to the carotid of some nameless human’s neck, that prayer for help already fallen silent on the tip of a person's tongue so it’s gone before the gods can hear it, before they answer it - that is, if there truly are any gods left.

Perhaps they still exist somewhere, or perhaps they never did?

Klaus wouldn’t know since humanity’s fickleness deletes old beliefs faster than it ushers in grander ones on spools of sacred carpet. He doesn’t care because a thousand years have lapsed, and he’s never seen one. Never heard from one, either. Not a’once.

It seems only the agents of hell reign here. So either he’s indebted to them, or cursed, or he’s a member of their demon dregs? It doesn’t matter which one it is.

There aren’t many consistencies to be found around him regardless. There’s little to no predictability.

Sometimes, though, a giggle will leave its mark in surprise or in dread, in humor or in cruelty, so that it echoes in his head. Not that such a sound matters at all to the wind carrying it like a letter, because how could it? Why would it? There is no promise it shall arrive again before it’s missed.

Thoughts, cultures, foods, and dreams all disappear in the seconds it takes to sneeze.

Klaus snaps his fingers and the Berlin Wall tumbles, he whistles and soon the arctic ice thaws into puddles of boiling salt that raise the seas. Applause turns to duels and duels turn to kisses faster than he can flip to the next Shakespearean act and read it all the way through looking for hints, searching for clues that will tell him what to expect at the end.

Another extinct language is continually born to die in ashes that were made to flicker after they fall. Some embers drift away unseen almost as readily as others which remain behind, stacked higher than gray ant hills. Those are the ones built to thrive and condemn all who come into contact with their illegible numerals in the first place. With no ears to listen, and with no hands to point or shoes to kick it along, the fiery wind above delivers a message that may or may not be read by those who remain below, still standing; the lot of them still stuck in a moment they’ll soon learn to forget because they can, because to survive they must march ahead.

Nothing stops in this world, and Klaus knows it. He’s seen it.

History blows past everything with a wink. He feels the edges spinning away from him day after day - splitting into shreds he’s too slow to catch.

Transience is a terrible companion for a man like him, for all creatures who ache for perpetuity or an anchor of sorts to brace them against the onslaught, but sometimes that’s all there is. Sometimes fleeting brevity is all one gets.

Rain often washes the paint and charcoal from his fingertips, for example. Snow likely cools the fury he wears curled under his breath before exchanging it for mercy, or the precious little of it he still possesses. Hope can be moister than a stick of gum when he tucks it back against his molars, but it never stays fresh. The taste is sweet at first, then more and more sour when the mint decays into chalk along the inside of his cheek and drills a hole of white through his tongue, the bloody thing a grave which opens deeper with every smile and charming word he speaks. Cementing like an abscessed cavity when he must count his losses in soon-to-be-archaic syllables.

New species of flowers proliferate then wither in his palms over and over again. Leaves green before they redden, orange, yellow, and brown so as to hibernate with all the foes he doesn’t know exist, or hasn’t bested yet. Time becomes nothing more than a string of multiplying paragraphs before it starts to unravel at the seams to make it impossible to remember where one fantasy begins, and another reality ends.

Barely anything Klaus touches remains steady. Most of it crumbles, turning to sawdust in his lap.

“Permanent” is neither a word he applies to many things in this universe nor to an existence which has done its damndest to convince him of its rarity.

His whole life already buoys on a globe of volcanic nothings, does it not? He’s observed how it perches precariously on a bed of tepid somethings which is always moving, always changing in a rhythm that quakes until it turns deaf from the relentless pound pound pound of his fists. The fog billows around mountaintops so the centuries pass in a whisper, or so year after year zooms by in a screech so loud it could perforate the eardrums. Yet each one remains special somehow because it cannot be weathered by anything else except progress. And evolution. And transformation.

All the lightness and darkness in him blurs while bourbon drowns the red screams that come from another city’s throat. Then from another…and another…and another…ad nauseam. The cycle continuing in squawking refrain because—oh, how the Endless hurts!

Buildings wobble. Cobblestone rots. Parchment crinkles, yellowing at the edges. Lanterns light a crowded alleyway which soon will be filled with rubble, with parking spaces or picnic tables, with ghosts of people he met too long ago to recount every individual face with clarity.

Hills and meadows and streams, and gravel and grasses and blacktopped streets—they crack beneath his feet the longer he treads on this earth with the continents drifting apart, with the waves crashing back together in a lover’s chaotic embrace because that’s how reunions spark throughout the ages: violently and with no care to preserve the prettiness of the land it once abandoned. And that’s okay. It’s this thirst and hunger for uproar which sprinkles life in destructive beauty. It’s what makes eternal adjustments so spontaneous, so thrilling.

The truth is Klaus is no stranger to changeability.

Nor is irregularity a foreign concept to a cunning mind like his that’s forever plotting, always considering new plans for domination or survival, so none of that scares him. Nothing of the erratic sort can, or should, or will unsettle his thoughts enough to drag him from sleep to brew a war which blazes inside of himself because he’s lost a hold of something the world never gave him, something it never promised he could keep.

He's acknowledged all the while how inconstancy is more likely to web around and throughout him as he continues forward into the eclogues of forever. He’s accepted it, breathed it in like the oxygen he no longer needs.

So what terrifies him isn’t that variables still abound as they always have but that he’s stumbled over something much more disconcerting in the pulse of his own throat, in the wretched tremble of his knees as a single look or word pins him to the floor on all fours, willingly damned like some besotted fool straight out of every bloody Victorian novel that was ever penned. It’s how he’s unearthed a kind of endurability in himself where none should be yet is in spite of all he knows or may confess in truths yanked from his soul like teeth—and that’s her. She’s the singular point of alarm behind everything.

Caroline.

She’s equal parts beautiful, infuriating, and fierce. She’s impossible and inescapable, she’s the answer behind every question he’s too afraid to ask out loud. In the forgotten silence, it’s her voice carrying everything he wants to hear: a ‘so long’ sweeter than a peck on the mouth, a slap of reckoning, a right ‘ol pinch in the arse for being disappointing; light that never dims, never burns down to black; charm and kindness with a dash of audacity, the loveliness of an elbow to the gut when it’s warranted, since it often can be with Mikaelsons around; and hope so pure it covers him like heaven’s own golden sleeves.

Klaus was struck by her the moment they met. He continues to be so every minute, hour, year, decade of time he’s fortunate enough to know her. See her. Wondering about feelings she may or may not reciprocate even as a peculiar heaviness starts to settle over his limbs, then robs him of any action except thinking.

Permanent in a way that will never fade, irrational love for her is the one truly indestructible thing he owns. It belongs to him completely. It’s the thumping heart of his entire universe, but then again...so is she.

However, with Death’s fingertips about to shut a lid over him and all they could’ve been one day, a single thought scratches hauntingly through Klaus’s mind; a final pang shoots across his heart before goodbye rots his lungs for keeps because it’s not until then that he realizes:

Caroline will never learn how much she’s cherished now, will she?

There are few constants in this world. It’s a fact, not a mystery. Yet while physics may write the laws and answers for everything else, for him, she - only she - is a perpetual feeling.

#klaroline #klaroline drabbles #klaroline fanfiction #ashlee bree's writing endeavors

[angel-with-a-pipette]

Chapter IV: Toy Box

I remember starting Toy Box and thinking - 

Huh?? Since when are ads included on Video Game Blurays? Is this a thing? Did I miss this? What is happening??

Well, I understood what what happening once I saw “Verum Rex” flash across the screen, but boy, did I underestimate the extend of it...like probably all of us.

But back to Toy Box. I am actually surprised how genuinely I started liking the characters xD I went to watch Toy Story 1 and 2 the MONDAY before the game released. I just never liked the still clunky animation/visuals and KH3 is doing such an amazing job omg. Not to mention the music - ah. I was blessed enough to listen to “You got a friend in me” during the Encore tour of the Orchestra last year and I can’t help but sway along when I listen to it in game ♥

Anyway, Rex is my new fave for loving Sora so much XDD but how can you not? Look at this sunshine boy:

This should have been a hidden Mickey. Just saying. THAT would have been kind of cool.

“They arrived with a guy wearing a hood, dressed in black, just like you.”

Oh Buzz, I remember the hype these words set free during D23. Young Xehanort and Sora, dressed similarly? Both in black?? Foreshadowing? I wish. Makes me wonder what all the Soranort foreshadowing was about. False leads? At least tempt the boy properly if you’re too chicken to go through with it :/

“I wonder how you’ll handle the strain.” “Don’t let me down.”

I swear to God we had A+ Soranort/Dark Sora build up right here. I genuinely wonder what happened, if Nomura decided “lol nah” or might save it for the future... or if Disney was ultimately against it... but dang, come on. I know now that the rest of his speech was just supposed to foreshadow the Replica program (the inclusion of which is actually pretty nifty and I think that helped round out the initial DDD idea a lot!), but still... so. much. wasted. potential. UGH.

AAAAAAAAAAAH. But the scene where Donald makes fun of Sora and then they start chasing each other around? BLESSED. Donald wags his butt at Sora, slips under his legs away to avoid him, it’s so pure, so sweet, gosh, I think I squealed. Yes Buzz, the three of them are the best, they aren’t bad at all 😭

The record player scene was such a nice addition, too :3 I already knew about it from TGS footage I believe, but hearing Sora’s theme in the game at this moment was still such a treat, especially once you rescued one of the little soldiers and you could listen to it whenever you wanted in its full glory. Kinda would have been nice if it had looped into other themes, too, but I don’t want to nitpick, I loved this way too much :3

Before I forget, can I praise Ben’s voice acting here? He was kind of flat in DDD, but damn, did he slay me in KH3. Bless, I genuinely hope we’ll get a Xehanort/Eraqus spin-off or get to see them maybe in flashbacks or something in the future games, it would be a shame to let go of Ben this early!

But damn, the amount of actual violence Sora suffers through made my heart heavy. I gasped when Xehanort grasped him by the hand, dangling him in the air, blasting him into Verum Rex? This scene was so intense. The entire game had scenes where I felt on the edge of my seat, continuously clasping my hands in front of my mouth, too scared that I might start screaming (which I did at the endgame but shhh)

“Find the hearts joined to yours.”

Again...I can’t tell if that is some (maybe wishful from my side) late Soranort remnant or trying to tease Xion’s return? I don’t know... it doesn’t make sense whatsoever for Xehanort to push Sora to get more Guardians of light? Maybe I should consult the Journal, but I am only in theater mode right now so eh.

Now I don’t wanna delve into the bossfight too much because there are tons of posts and gifsets about it already, but damn. That was the sickest roast in the history of Disney. I want more of this in the future games. DAMN the Disney was spot on! Donald calls Xehanort a big chicken, too, I can’t 🤣

Something more general to conclude this wall of text: The world itself is filled with so many details, wow, I can’t believe it. The rails you use to access the higher levels, the many game stands, the mechas (although i am not too fond of the mechanics because I usually end up dying too far away from the next mecha and then die for real XD), the unlockable chest. When I saw that the little screws in the vents could be kicked just like the Herc and Phil statues in Olympus could be - wow!! Also only later I realized how fighting with the mechas can clear entire game stands, too, making the games and figures disappear. That is SO cool!!

And our social media posts, too!

#KH3 spoilers #KH3 playthrough

[taeminnomuyeppeo]

🐻: lmfaooooo not the dick joke 😭 but that was really funny of him 😌 id honestly loveeeeee 2 talk abt ten he’s so cool so your askbox is perfect tbh! wjxjrjs that pokemon metaphor PLEASE i took a bite of that fairyland food and now i’m stuck here 😭 i feel like i’ll tell on myself if i talk too much abt my biases but i’ll say that 2 of my faves are jaehyun and joy! and i’d love to hear about your favorite eras for ten, as well as some of your favorite songs (kpop or not!) :000

lol i’m sorry but i do love a brave dumb man who is not afraid to open his mouth and Say Things. i hate to admit it but it’d probably make my top 10 ten moments. i love replaying it in my head and just remembering everyone’s faces. and i’m laughing very hard right now bc you called him “so cool” and i’m just “but HE’S SO EMBARRASSING!!” haha xD 

and speaking of brave dumb men: jaehyun is also one bc you gotta be a brave dumbass if you follow a goose with a camera. they are savage beasts and it’s a miracle jung yoonoh is still among the living (T人T) this is my ways of saying “a+ bias choice” btw. i love him. he’s so weird and ugh THAT FACE OF HIS HOW DARE HE ( ≧Д≦) (his beauty makes me angry, i’m sorry ( ⁍᷄⌢̻⁍᷅ ))

lol but you called ten “cool” haha... i’m enjoying this too much (′ʘ⌄ʘ‵) 

AND JOY ☆ﾟ･*:｡.:(ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾟ･*:..:☆ i love anyone who loves joy! i’m leaning more towards irene and seulgi with my rv biases but miss joy i love A LOT, too (*ꈍ꒳ꈍ*) so you have GREAT taste in humans, tiny bear! ♥

hmmm but my favourite eras... all of them? if it’s ten, then i love it. i’m a simple woman. but if i had to pick just one i’d say baby don’t stop... which conveniently started playing on spotify right now... i mean, it is a nct/wayv only playlist but still... do i have powers? Σ(‘◉⌓◉’) okay, but back to ten! i’m absolute trash for nct u and for empathy era and hate sm for not giving us any new content in centuries ugh. i’d kill for another proper taeten duet (maybe for something superm relate pls? pls, sm? i’ll take anything t.t) because i love ty SFM too and i think they worked perfect together both as performers (THE TALENT) and as people. i mean, their personalities are so different and their interactions are so interesting because of it? and bds era definitely proved that ty is a rl angel because ten was A LOT (read: his usual self ʅ（´◔౪◔）ʃ).

but for wayv eras i’d say... the current one? idk how it’s possible but he’s even more RADIANT? he literally glows and it makes my heart... ｡･ﾟヾ(✦థ ｪ థ)ﾉ｡ﾟ･｡ plus, him embracing his eboy look is just pure gold. 

hmm... my favourite songs... hmmm... i laughed a bit because i spent yesterday night being emo to tove lo’s romantics, lorde’s tennis court and partick wolf’s augustine. that was my entire playlist and i was very emo but the second i woke up my yestoday obsession came back bc i’m currently going through a yestoday phase (IT’S AN UNDERRATED MASTERPIECE). lol okay it’s an even harder question than the one about eras... hmmm but my current faves - aside from an underrated masterpiece yestoday - are pporappippam, domino, feel good (i want seulrene to perform it!!!), nature’s girls, apple and golcha’s omg. but i’ve been mostly jamming to 127′s bsides because i made a playlist when i was making a top 10 gifset (it was supposed to help me narrow it down to 10 lol) and now i can’t stop :((((( 

and what have you been listening to lately, tiny bear? ^^ oh, and what did you answer on the last question on the nvyctmail form? the one about fave nct title song and wayv bside? :D 

#nvyctmail #reply #this is the second time i'm replying SIX hours after your ask #we must live in very different timezones :( #Anonymous

[abadpoetwithdreams]

Nirvana in Fire Episode One Reaction

I DID IT. I FINALLY WATCHED THE THING. AND I LOVED IT.

I want to race into episode 2 instead of pausing to write this but I promised I’d share my reactions as I go, so here I am XD

Oh, and before I get any further I want to state for the record that I am pretty much unspoilered for this entire show. I’ve seen gifsets around Tumblr and such but I’ve always been careful to avoid really looking at them or any commentary etc. because I could tell I’ll probably love this and didn’t want to ruin it for myself. The only thing I knew going in pretty much is that it’s a Chinese period drama, that it has like a million episodes, and that I had the impression it was a slow burn revenge story of some kind??? Like I was getting vague Count of Monte Cristo vibes off it without any concrete evidence for them lol but anyway I don’t know anything but I’m ready for shenanigans XD

OK, so the opening credits started and about 20 seconds in I was grinning madly because the watercolor/calligraphy visuals, and the music is so gorgeous, and the butterfly motif had me wondering if that’s signaling this show will have a central theme of rebirth or transformation or if the butterfly means something else in China. No idea, but anyway all this had me pretty much in love before the show even really started lol just give me that gorgeous theme in every episode and I don’t care that there’s a million, I’ll drink it all up.

Anyway, as far as aesthetics go this show is so ridiculously pretty. The colors! The music! The people! And the production value looks ridiculously high, those costumes! Those sets! Those carefully calibrated filters! Mainly those costumes! Even the extras look more elaborately costumed than most tv extras I’ve seen, so that level of detail is captivating really quickly. Also the acting is great so far, I was worried I’d have trouble keeping track of characters at first (especially because the show introduces a lot of people very quickly that all seem important) but everyone’s actually very distinct and I haven’t had any problem at all. Each character has a lot of personality and individualized mannerisms and all the interactions have been really natural and well-scripted so far, I am so invested and it worries me. A lot.

The background context of the story was a bit more difficult for me to grasp (but I imagine the story will unravel it more and more as things go on so I’m not stressed about it), but so far I can tell there was definitely a massacre of a battle of some kind, probably unjust (because this is a Chinese history drama, people are always framing rival political powers in those), and our protagonist was the son of the General who died but he survived somehow? And has been haunted by this, presumably, or he’d look a bit more appreciative about living in an absolutely gorgeous house in some absolutely gorgeous mountains, and would not still be having nightmares about that battle twelve years later. Also he has very beautiful eyes. But his first intro (which was great, btw) doesn’t show his face beyond just his eyes basically (except for in that nightmare flashback where it was hard to see him anyway plus it looked like a different actor lol) so for a while there I kept squinting suspiciously at every new character like “is that him? No, wait, he doesn’t look like that tiny glimpse of face we got. Wait, is that him? No, hang on, he’s the prince. Come on, show me the protagonist you teased! WAIT IS THAT–nope, can’t be. Moustache.” It was a relief when the story finally introduced him properly. Especially because this proper introduction was him just gliding out of nowhere dressed all in white (again: COSTUMES) on a boat while playing a flute?? For no reason other than To Be Dramatic? And then he gently threatens a fleet until they turn around and run away? You. I like you already. Especially when it’s revealed later that he is Terribly Ill in some way and so this means he totally left his cozy fur cape behind while he went out on a chilly, misty river purely for the sake of Aesthetic. I LIKE.

Also he’s got a surly kid bodyguard who excels at wirework and I’m very excited about this.

Anyway, our protagonist’s name is Lin Shu, and I’ll call him that for now because I can’t remember his other names yet (it will take me about 3 episodes to get everyone’s names, fair warning), and he is basically the number one guy on Ancient China’s list of hottest talents but I get the feeling that’s rigged. Like, sure he is obviously brilliant, but also he’s working with the people who make the list somehow, so. Unfair advantage. Plus no one seems to really know who he is outside of his reputation (that one happy kid was so excited to finally see his face, I was sort of disappointed the show didn’t show their meeting, haha. Also I loved that happy guy, he’s adorable and dangit I TOLD MYSELF I WOULDN’T GET ATTACHED TO ANYBODY). And he uses his fame and his connections with that awesome place with the over the top filing system to trick two rival princes into thinking they need him as an ally to succeed in their bids for the throne. I can’t wait to see where he’s going with this. He’s giving himself power by rigging a prophecy, so to speak, and that’s the sort of thing I live for in a story.

But after he makes himself desirable for these two powers, he leaves for the capitol with two OTHER guys instead. Don’t know where he’s going with this yet, but I’m keen to find out. He’s going to play all these people against each other, isn’t he. This worries me, because the older kid who came to fetch him clearly thinks they’re good friends, and I have the awful feeling that Lin Shu is just using him. Especially since I think his “friend’s” father, Xie Yu, is actually the man who killed HIS father and tried to kill him all those years ago? Yikes.

Other first impressions: The crown prince seems unlikable. Non-moustache prince seems a bit more likable but he’s too ambitious for me to trust him, no matter how cool his grabbing that sword was. His strategist had an amazing red outfit and I hope we see more of her. The doctor/scholar who treated us to a solid minute of midair sword ballet (gosh I love Chinese wirework when it’s done right) was instantly likable even before his cute conversation with Lin Shu, but I still have trauma from the doctor in Faith, so I’m trying not to get attached. Interested to find out what exactly is wrong with Lin Shu, but I’m glad he’s got this guy looking out for him, at least for now. Their conversation was honestly one of my favourite parts in the whole episode, because it felt like one of the last quiet moments before things in this story take off and I just instinctively wanted to cherish it, lol. It was one of many well-written/well-acted scenes that really established life in all these characters; that makes it feel like they have a history and lives before what the show has shown, and I love that. They feel like real people. Most everyone does, despite the heightened-reality sort of feel the show has, which is a testament to the actors.

The two princes’ mothers only got one scene, but their obvious hatred for each other was hilarious and I want more of them, too. Oh, and also THE PRINCESS. I can’t even say how excited I was when she rode up in her armor and started flying around–again, just for kicks, there are no high stakes to this swordplay yet. And she was engaged to Lin Shu in his past life????? (His face when he was hiding in the palanquin and realized she was there aaaaahhhhhh) And she is basically doing the martial version of Penelope’s trick where she keeps putting off getting married? Excellent. I loved her line when the Emperor chided her, saying that she is a better fighter than any man, so if she insists her future husband must defeat her in combat she will never marry:

“Don’t worry, your Majesty. If I do meet the man I’m destined to be with, I will lose to him whether he is skilled in martial arts or not.” TELL HIM, WOMAN. I LIKE YOU. Her friend was intriguing but I missed exactly how she lost her husband–which side of the battle 12 years ago was he on? She seemed to blame Lin Shu’s family for some reason, anyway. I guess if it’s important it’ll be reiterated in more detail.

Let’s see, what else? There’s some background politics about a guy getting framed for something but I don’t know what’s up with that yet. Oh, and a couple of men on horses who appeared for a few seconds and then rode away again–I don’t know who they are but I’m assuming they come back. Costumes. Music. Lots of beautiful people in beautiful lighting. A sense that things are going to get Very Complicated Very Quickly. A bit of confusion when subtitles introduced Xie Yu as a Marquis, because now I’m wondering what his actual Chinese rank is because it can’t really be Marquis???? @buri-art enlighten me.

In summary, I am at least intrigued by all the characters and am already actively invested in a handful, which frightens me because I’ve been promised lots of pain.

And that’s my scattershot reaction to episode one! Any reactions to future episodes that I post will be more bulletpoint, but there was a lot to unpack here so it’s more rambley instead. Plus I watched this one episode probably three times in all, because I had to keep stopping and starting and rewinding (what happens when I try to find the time to watch a solid hour of anything, usually), so I didn’t really take notes while watching. I’m really excited about watching more. I want to know what’s going to happen! (Judging by the teaser footage for the series that played over the ending song (and that I sat through and watched the entirety of), it’s going to be A Lot of Awful Things. BRING IT.)

#nirvana in fire #badpoet watches #I'll tag these as #badpoet watches NIF #in case anyone wants to block these for fear of spoilers or whatever #cdramas

[edwardamcullen]

Almost the entirety of Red is about Bellward #confirmed. Pass it on.

this feels like a challenge to prove this right and...that’s exactly what I’m going to do. Except I’ll extend this to Twilight as a whole. pls keep in mind i obviously know taylor didn’t write these songs about these characters i’m just IN LOVE with the similarities and how they relate.

1. State of Grace “And I never saw you coming and I’ll never be the same”/"We learn to live with the pain mosaic broken hearts, but this love is brave and wild”/“You come around and the armor falls, pierce the room like a cannon ball now all we know is don’t let go”/“This is the state of grace. This is the worthwhile fight. Love is a ruthless game unless you play it good and right. These are the hands of fate. you’re my achilles heel. This is the golden age of something good and right and real” I think these lyrics fit Bellward in that...1) this love...was....real and new to both of them and not something they ever saw coming but it was scary but too real to let go of and not want to fight for. There’s so many risks in their relationship but “this is the worthwhile fight. love is a ruthless game unless you play it good and right.

2. RedI made a gifset. This is New Moon!Bella - “Remembering him comes in flashbacks and echoes tell myself it’s time now, gotta let go. But moving on from him is impossible when I still see it all in my head, burning red.” bc the girl LITERALLY saw him everywhere. and also “Loving him was like driving a new Maserati down a dead-end street, faster than the wind passionate as sin ended so suddenly” because when he left he took his whole world with her the entire time she was struggling to hold onto the memories. she was in the middle of such a :D point and everything was so good and in one instant it all fell apart.

3. Treacherous“This slope is treacherous this path is reckless this slope is treacherous I-I-I like it” this song is literally about sex and their relationship not being good but “nothing safe is worth the drive” which SCREAMS Bella and Edward like I don’t have to explain that tbh.

4. I Knew You Were Trouble...idk...bella knew he was trouble but shame on her because SHE LITERALLY WAS LYING ON THE COLD HARD GROUND when he left her....damn taylor really get specific 

5. All Too Well “It was rare I was there I remember it all too well” / “Time won’t fly it’s like I’m paralyzed by it. I’d like to be my old self again but I’m still trying to find it.” Is her the entire dark phase of New Moon. 

6. 22*scratches head while I try to think of something* “It’s miserable and magical” - lmao bella when wolves were magical but also she is literally miserable. (BY NOW YOU KNOW I DON’T THINK THIS IS SERIOUS I’M JUST HAVING FUN WITH THIS) 

7. I Almost Do“I hope sometimes you wonder about me”/”I just want to tell you it takes everything in me not to call you. And I wish I could run to you and every time I don’t, I almost do” Edward to Bella when he left. 8. We Are Never Ever Getting Back Togetherdeadass??? idk. Leah to Sam lmao. i’m kidding. no i’m not she’s never getting back with him he hurt her. except they weren’t on and off. She’s just never ever getting back with him. and she’s done w/ his excuses. etc. OH WAIT WEREN’T JESS AND MIKE ON AND OFF...them too lmao. 9. Stay Stay StayTHIS SONG IS SO PURE AND SO CUTE AND SO HAPPY. “you took the time to memorize me my fears my hopes and dreams I just like hanging out with you all the time.” every relationship ever. Also “It’s been occurring to me I’d like to hang out with you for my whole life.”

10. The Last Time“This is the last time I’m asking you this put my name at the top of your list” lmao fucking JACOB to Bella in Eclipse. Actually wait this could work. “You wear your best apology but I was there to watch you leave. And all the times I let you in just for you to go again.” wow....damn it really could be Jake to Bella 

11. Holy GroundI’m going to half make this about Jacob and Bella because “Tonight I’m gonna dance for all that we’ve been through but I don’t wanna dance if I’m not dancing with you.” could be them at Bella and Edward’s wedding. But this is actually a nice breakup song about it being good and never looking back and them both being respectively happy for each other and that’s just not the case. he calls her stupid and thrashes her like a rag doll and fucking grabs her by the arms. the moment was ruined.

12. Sad Beautiful TragicOH HOW NEW MOONBella: In dreams, I meet you in warm conversationB/E: We both wake in lonely beds, different cities (except edward doesn’t sleep)B: And time is taking its sweet time erasing youE: And you've got your demons and darling they all look like me (actually it could be bella too because she feels like a waste of his time and like he never even cared for her)

13. The Lucky OneLet me make this about Rosalie. “New to town with a made up name in the angel city chasing fortune and fame, and the camera flashes make it look like a dream”/ “And they tell you that you’re lucky but you’re so confused ‘cause you don’t feel pretty, you just feel used.” This entire song is Taylor’s fear of fame and the glamorous lifestyle turning into something that’s so ... scary and just not as good as it’s made out to be. That screams Rosalie. And just any of the vampires who would trade this “perfect” vampire life for a normal one.14. Everything Has ChangedB: All i knew this morning when I woke is I know something now know something now I didn’t before. (BELLA LITERALLY....REALIZING SHE’S IN LOVE WITH EDWARD honestly vice versa because this whole love thing was new for both of them)E: All my walls stood tall painted blue but I’ll take them down and open up the door for youB/E: All I know is we said hello so dust off your highest hopes. All i know is pouring rain, and everythig has changed. All I know is a newfound grace all my days I’ll know your face all I know since yesterday is everything has changed.

15. StarlightTHIS IS SO HARD ALSKDLAKS “Ooh ooh he's talking crazy/Ooh ooh dancing with me/Ooh ooh we could get married” bella when edward proposed LMAO. but no really the thing about Starlight is it pictures such a happy and forever-and-always blissful and magical love which SM paints with their whole eternity thing. “Don’t you dream impossible things” literally. because he’s a vampire. OMG WAIT “Have ten kids and teach them how to dream” ...rosalie and her perfect life she thought she had before everything happened.16. Begin AgainLet me.....pull a muscle while I REACH a bit. “And you throw your head back laughing like a little kid. I think it’s strange that you think I’m funny ‘cause he never did. I’ve been spending the last 8 months thinking all love ever does is break and burn and end, but on a wednesday in a cafe I watched it begin again” .......this is a REACH and a this I’m making shit up...but bella never really felt like herself or confident enough to be herself until she met the cullens and....idk...bella saw her divorced parents and she never reallly had a love to relate to so she really didn’t think love...was...a  thing...but w/ edward...it was.???/ i told y’all i’m reaching

if you wanna be like that you can make this about jacob when bella grows close to him after edward left her but tbh that implies that bella ...was in love with him....and that she stayed with him...and nah. i’m not doing that lmao sorry

The deluxe tracks??? The moment i knew is too specific it’s about him not going to Taylor’s birthday. that didn’t happen. “You should’ve been here and I would’ve been so happy” if pulled out of context might relate. Maybe Come Back Be Here being about them being apart but being in love COULD be B/E in New Moon but they were both very sad and this is more about missing the other one...pretend “I can’t help but wish you took me with you” is overdramatic bella missing edward when he hunts. I can’t think of anything for Girl At Home.

I’m sorry this was so long all you wanted me to do was pass it on I’M SO SORRY

#this was long #imagine if I could like...respond....to something....and not write an essay #Anonymous

[noahsflynn-archive]

let’s talk about that nygmobblepot scene in 3x18

I know there are so many metas (and other similar posts) out there discussing this scene but I thought I’d throw my two cents in because I just wanted to analyse it.

all of the gifs used in this post are from this edit I made btw.

so after oswald has ranted to the man putting him in the cage, we hear ed say “oswald?”

the gif is a lot shorter than the actual scene, in reality oswald stares forward for a bit before slowly turning around. we can assume the long pause before he turns around is partly out of shock, but also oswald preparing himself. it’s one thing to hear ed’s voice, it would be an entirely different thing to actually see him.

when he does turn around, and initially steps forward, he does it all slowly. we can assume everything is coming at him all at once so it’s got to be hard to process what’s happening. ed being there came completely out of left field. he probably would never have expected to end up right next to ed. he’s spent almost all of his time since waking up with these thoughts of wanting to kill ed and a lot of that time was spent actively seeking him out to no avail and suddenly he ends up in the cage right next to ed? it would be like some kind of sick joke because finally oswald has found ed, but he’s just out of reach.

oswald’s feelings are bound to be mixed at this point. all the anger he’s been carrying is still going to be there in some (small) way and if he truly did love ed (which I believe he did, and still does) then a part of him would be overwhelmed that the person he loves, the person he was arguably closest to (who’s still alive) is in front of him.

it would explain why he seems so calm. he’s so preoccupied by this sudden revelation that his mind is too busy trying to process it all. and this sudden overwhelming feeling he must have at seeing ed in the flesh would be enough to keep any anger from erupting (for now).

we can assume that ed’s eerily calm, too preoccupied because he’s processing the fact that oswald is right there, happens while oswald is being put into the cage and right up to when he says “oswald?” and oswald turns around. but in the gif below we do get one of his signature, over-dramatic gasps. 

it’s not the easiest to see (in the gif), and in the actual scene the initial pause before the gasp is slightly longer. 

because oswald turns around so slowly ed is going to be spending that entire time wondering if it’s really him. the gasp would be the full realisation of holy shit, it is.

when ed says “you’re alive?” he does so in an aggressive tone. it’s like all of his anger comes out at once and it makes a lot of sense for two reasons:

1) although ed ended up feeling guilty about shooting oswald and seemingly regretted it (evident in the things he says to hallucination!oswald), I don’t think he wishes he could go back and change it. I say this because in ed’s mind killing oswald was getting justice for isabella, an innocent woman, whom he loved, who was killed. (note: ed believes she was completely innocent). I’m sure ed would have much rather oswald never died, but to ed he almost had to push his own feelings down because they weren’t as important as getting justice. 

now this man who not only killed his girlfriend but lied to him and humiliated him survived. that hardly seems fair. so the fact that his anger comes out around the words “you’re alive?” is fitting. 

2) the fact that his anger is seemingly short lived can trace back to the idea that ed mentioned to hallucination!oswald that he missed him. those overwhelming feelings of “I don’t have to miss you anymore” or “this could be a second chance” (or similar thoughts) would most likely push his anger down. also, if we assume his initial disbelief was off camera, he’s already had a little bit of time to process the fact that oswald is there. (especially if he saw oswald being brought into the room).

oswald manages to walk right up to the bars and stare for a long time before his anger manifests. ed all the while just watches oswald, although when oswald first steps towards the bars ed does gulp a little:

and right before oswald tries to grab him, ed mouth is slightly open, and he stares like he’s in complete shock:

there’s a good chance that ed might have, for half a second, thought oswald was a hallucination but then quickly realised it wasn’t. the fact that his anger has seemingly stripped away by this point and he’s just completely stunned 

several things are probably happening: 1) he’s probably wondering how did oswald survive?, 2) his mind is fighting itself, asking, is it really him or is it a trick?, and 3) realising this person he loves, in whatever way that might be, is here. a part of him might not be able to work out if he’s relieved about this revelation or not.

ed being ed I can see him questioning the logistics of it but also being confused about his feelings over the fact that the person he was closest with isn’t dead. I mean, what must this mean in his mind? ed got close to kristen and then she died. he got close to isabella and then she died. he got close to oswald who died, but then came back. you could argue that isabella coming back was like (to ed) kristen being alive again, but once again she died, which adds another thought for him to mull over. oswald is back, but for how long?

after oswald reaches the bars he seems to have a pretty strong, thought provoking reaction:

he stares with his mouth slightly open which he eventually closes it. all the while he looks sad. how must this feel for oswald? it’s all well and good waking up and saying that he’s going to kill ed, but to actually be faced with him? 

on the one hand he’s standing right in front of the man who almost succeeded in killing him. oswald jokes about how he’s hard to kill, but that must have been terrifying. there could always be more to this, because sometimes there’s no such thing as coincidences in gotham, but he was really lucky that ivy just happened to be there. 

but on the other hand, he’s also standing in front of his best friend and the first person he’s been in love with, that he’s aware of. (I think he had some kind of crush on jim but perhaps wasn’t aware of it himself).

the initial shock is most likely wearing off at this point and it’s the sadness that hits first. earlier in the episode when he says to jim “after all, we’re old friends. right?” and he genuinely seems close to tears. (you can see that in this gifset) the fact that he kind of swallows a little after saying it and immediately turns and walks away says to me that he was genuinely upset during that encounter which makes sense because his only other loyal “friend” (gabe) turned on him. 

after that scene with jim oswald genuinely has nobody, sure he has the freak family, but they’re new, I’m thinking more about people from his old life. so to be confronted with his best friend, and considering the last time they stood across from each other, oswald got shot, it must be overwhelming and confusing, because he still, in some way, loves ed. 

oswald has strong emotions and strong reactions to them, but we’ve actually not seen much of him reacting in such a sad, on the verge of crying, kind of way.

the height of his emotional state is also outlined in his action of trying to grab for ed.

I did slow it down a little for the gif, but the action is incredibly quick, sudden. which isn’t too surprising. oswald has attacked quickly in the past, however, in response, ed doesn’t even have to jump back that far:

if oswald was more in control of his emotions he would have let ed get closer to the bars and then grabbed him. 

side note: even if he had succeeded in grabbing ed I don’t think oswald would have hurt him, but only because he would have realised that there’s was nothing he could really do with bars between them and if ed got hurt the court might take him away, therefore halting oswald’s plan for revenge. either way, oswald’s instant reaction is to grab ed because we can assume at this point he’s over the inital shock, leaving room for his upset to manifest into pure anger.

(also in the gif of ed stepping back, he finally closes his mouth and seemingly swallows)

the scene ends with them staring at each other, but it’s different this time. oswald is almost crazed but oddly calculated:

again the gif is shorter, but after he initially tries to grab ed, it takes a little while before he pulls his hand back. his hand grazes the bars, almost like he isn’t paying attention because all of his concentration is on ed, and when he grabs onto the bar with one hand it’s almost like he’s using it to help lift himself up.

throughout this whole scene they don’t blink, however, it is most noticeable and creepy during this moment with oswald.

the fact that he struck so quickly and ed was able to step back to avoid his grasp is a rookie mistake. oswald must realise that he should have lured ed into a false sense of security and then struck. so now, he’s cold and calculated. he’s brushed aside all his other feelings in order to focus on his anger.

as I said further up, ed shooting oswald partly came down to the idea that getting justice for isabella was more important. just like here, oswald’s need to get revenge on ed is stronger than any feelings he might have. that’s most likely down to something that’s been drilled into oswald, he can’t just step aside and let ed get away with nearly killing him.

from ed’s final shot, we can assume he’s aware of this.

it is a little hard to tell from the gif, but all of ed’s emotions seem to have disappeared. he’s just watching oswald and his face is completely blank, both which suggest that he is now aware that oswald really is a threat and wants revenge.

ed doesn’t move. the entire time we see him on camera he never really moves, except for when oswald tries to grab him and he’s forced to step back. the difference with this final scene is that he’s fixing oswald with a look that’s vacant of any obvious emotion and makes him almost unpredictable (although, if you were to perceive any emotion, I would say fear).

it’s like they’re preparing for an impending fight. of course, we can’t say for sure, but the next episode will confirm it. (just because there a picture of them together, doesn’t mean they start off on the same page.)

this scene is less than a minute long and yet there’s so much packed into it. it says a lot about the talent of the crew but also cory and robin. all of them, working together, managed to create a powerful scene that is arguably one of the best nygmobblepot scenes we’ve ever received. we get to see two people who simultaneously love and hate each other reunite. we witness both of those feelings in way I doubt we’ll ever get again. as someone who has recently felt a big disconnect from this ship, this scene managed to include elements that I love about both characters, and also gave us something that felt completely new for this pairing that sucked me right back in again. I can’t wait to see what they do with nygmobblepot after this.

#oswald cobblepot #edward nygma #nygmobblepot #gotham meta #long post #gotham #danielle talks fandom #my meta #meta: gotham

[antthonystark]

I don't really get why are people are mad they continuously ask Magnus for help? Clary and Jace are Magnus's friends he cares for Clary a lot and he's not as close with Jace but they've been shown to have a friendship. Also Alec is his boyfriend so?? And Clary and Jace are the main characters and Magnus helping them gives him a bigger role. And it would be an issue if he never got his own character development but he has plenty of scenes without Clary and Jace. Sorry this is a mini rant

i’m of two minds on this (surprise surprise)…..like on the one hand, it shouldbe acknowledged that magnus has had issues with people, often specificallyshadowhunters, before when it comes to being taken advantage of etc. like hedetails in his conversation with maia in 2x07. and of course, there is the important consideration of the natural friction between shadowhunters and downworlders as a result of the myriad problems with their society. i guess when it comes down to it, im not a fan ofthe “poor beleaguered magnus vs. evil selfish shadowhunters” narrative,but i also dont buy the whole “everything between everyone is a-okay and happy and love”either? like with the vast majority of things, the actual truth is probablysomewhere in between. 

so turns out i had lot more to say about this that i … .may be thought… anyway under the cut

the reasonwhy im not a fan of the first one (poor magnus vs. selfish meanies) is it seems to contradict magnus as acharacter almost entirely…both his personality and his power would insulateagainst something as extreme as all that. of course magnus is an extremely generousand compassionate person when he wants to be, which leads to such problems (as we saw in his relationship with camille, where he gave a million times more than he got), which does leadto issues of being taken for granted or taken advantage of like the ones he talked about with maia in 2x07, so it’s not likeit’s something that’s not a thing - it is a thing, but when it becomes thatmuch of a thing in people’s interpretations, taken that far, it justseems like it’s woobify-ing him, like he’s not a manipulatable child, he cansay no if he really doesn’t want to do something. 

but basedon that and more crucially to me, at its worst, it seems like it’s doing adisservice to magnus based on my understanding of his motivations and character, to appear asthough the only reason he would ever want to be involved in the main conflict(i.e. the fight against the genocidal, downworlder-racist megalomaniac) isthrough reluctantly helping the shadowhunters - rather than acknowledging thathe has an equally significant stake in the game and that it’s not magnus unwillinglyhelping with someone else’s personal quest, but rather it being something verysignificant to magnus and his storyline as well. so it’s not always “those damnshadowhunters always asking magnus for help” but then things like stopping agreater demon or, like, preventing a war in the downworld are not just goalsfor clary/jace…..like magnus cares about the outcome of the events just as muchif not more?? so that’s what i guess i don’t understand.

like yousaid, the second magnus would not be involved somewhere where he should be,people are rightfully going to be saying that he’s being “sidelined” from the mainaction. so its this weird thing where the diegetic thing – in the narrative,magnus being asked for help – is bad, but the non-diegetic thing thatwould result from that diegetic thing not happening – in real life, important lgbt+character of colour being sidelined from the main conflict – would also bebad. like people pick and choose, sort of, what they’re going to look at only at face value in the narrative, and what they’re going to look at from a broader consideration of the real world interacting with the narrative (diegetic/non-diegetic are the wrong words but it’s late and i cant think of the right ones). so honestly sometimes I struggle to understand where people arecoming from on this issue tbh.

like,there was a gifset going around recently that was trying to, uh, illustratethis narrative, where magnus didn’t get paid for all the help he did orwhatever, where at least half of those instances he was paidand/or volunteered freely to do it. so firstly, there’s a differencebetween “magnus wants to help” and “magnus is forced to help” that ifeel like people don’t…..get…..so often. both have happened, solike i said, the truth is in the middle. but, like, people often have such a vesteddislike for shadowhunters as characters (or specifically clary and jace) thatthey project that onto magnus who, to be fair, does have a dislike and mistrustfor shadowhunters in general, but in my view clearly cares about clary and jaceand the gang as friends (harry himself said that in as many words in his lastinterview). so it’s not exactly a stretch that he would want to help them whentheir lives are in danger, to me, i guess lol? 

ultimately,i think that the most crucial difference arises in the way that one reads that particularrelationship. if you read it as magnus being superficially magnanimous andcivil while having a deeper-rooted dislike, vs. if you read it as magnus beingsuperficially disdainful while have a deeper-rooted affection. if the former,you’re more likely to be upset by the way magnus is ‘treated’ by the two mains,whereas if the latter (which is in my opinion the way the writers meant toframe it, regardless of course of how it came across to people), maybe not so much. another dimension to this is the downworlder/shadowhuntersdynamic, in that Shadowhunters often view themselves as superior in anyinteraction, which – unpopular opinion time – doesn’t apply to the same extentto clary since she wasn’t raised with these notions of superiority like theother characters, including jace, to be fair. i feel like this dynamic is more salientalso in official rather than amicable contexts, e.g. when magnus is at thetrial or strengthening the wards for Robert, but it would be stupid to say itdoesn’t play a role even in the everyday interaction between friends. so,again, it’s complex. it’s not one thing or the other, but really both, so thenreally neither. in my view.

i keepreferring to “truth” but the truth of the matter is, it’s going to dependwholly on interpretations, and i think the reading of this relationship is animportant one in the way that one views it.

alsothere’s also a difference between “wanting to help”, “being forced tohelp” and “sort of being expected to help and not really being thanked forit because he’s an established good guy™ in the show allied with the grouprather than an outsider to the group and/or some neutral figure and in film/tvthe good guys dont usually thank each other unless there’s a higher purpose forit in the narrative”

with thatlast one, i think people, maybe a bit punch drunk on fanfiction, don’t alwaysget that things in regular scripts/narratives that are even a littlebit extraneous do not get to stay in. so things likepeople barging through doors happens because the script needs fat trimmed andit’s less time consuming to start a scene like that than with a knock (andusually with a knock there’s again some purpose, e.g. alec knocking in 2x07when he normally doesn’t so magnus is by the door bc it would be an awkwardshot imo for alec to walk in and stride all the way over to wherever tf magnusis chillin to grab him and kiss him lol – similarly, there was no knock in 2x09 bc malec were over at the balcony and it wouldunnecessarily elongate the scene by having them walk over to the door to answerit etc……like im sure they didn’t think that hard about these things or theycould have done them the other way without giving 2 shits, it’s just thatnobody ever thought people would care this much about doors lol – and, in thenarrative, lbr…if magnus didn’t want someone in his house would they be in hishouse……just think about it). i mean, people don’t even say “hello”or “goodbye” on the phones in any film or tv show i’ve ever seen unlessthere’s some reason for it, so scenes with the good guys standing aroundthanking each other for helping …… i honestly don’t think i’ve seen a scenelike that that doesn’t serve some higher purpose. by that, i mean the primeexample is alec thanking magnus for stuff - obviously, the narrative needs toestablish alec as this person who cares about magnus, so rather than havingeveryone line up and say thank you, alec is the person who most often does itbecause a scene like that with alec and magnus would not beextraneous, because it serves the higher purpose of establishing a thingbetween the pair. just like clary thanking jace establishing a thing betweenthem in, say, 1x07; or clary thanking alec and being rebuffed in 1x08establishing their continued conflict that plays a role in the followingepisode; etc. like does that make sense, where i’m coming from in thatregard? like, when connection needs to be established between characters, it is – jace and magnus’s little moment ashe hands over the stone in 2x03, for example. if it’s not constantlyreinforced, it’s maybe (no shade, just a thought) because the screenwriters don’tfind the connections of friendship or at least fondness between the charactersas dubious as some of the viewers.

MOSTIMPORTANTLY, like i said before, the sense of superiority over downworlders indoctrinatedin shadowhunters from an early age is not illusory or unimportant, and ofcourse that is going to inform the interactions between magnus, a downworlder,and other shadowhunters, young or old. so again as i said in my opening statement,it’s as little a case of pure love and rainbows and sunshine as it is the otherextreme interpretation of this issue. a lot of the stuff people talk about –they have a point. often, that stuff – e.g. people calling magnus “warlock” disparaginglyas the most obvious example, but many others as well – is deliberate by the writers, because this issuebetween the two strata of the shadow world isn’t something that they ignore,since they…ya know.. wrote it in the show. however, some of the stuff peoplesay borders on the ridiculous. as usual, the golden mean can usually be foundbetween extremes.

#my thoughts #shadowhunters #it's quite late at night as im writing this so im not sure the whole thing makes sense #this is just gonna make people hate me more isnt it #oh well like i said before #if people are gonna call me ignorant and stupid and nasty and gross anyway #i might as well be up front with with what i think #i've bit my tongue on this magnus thing for so long bc i just...cba anymore #and i was 2 seconds away from ignoring this ask #no offense i didnt want to start anything #but ill just settle for publishing it under a cut at a really weird time of day #anonymous #mavra answers #text post