#did not expect this to be my first Art of 2023 but I see we are starting off rare

[limbosava]

everyone go read this now

#my art #ganyora #ganyu #la signora #rosalyne kruzchka lohefalter #screaming crying eating drywall GOD #did not expect this to be my first Art of 2023 but I see we are starting off rare

[chuwenjie]

Spider-Man: Across the Spiderverse comes out later today so I wanted to write a post reflecting on my journey and experience working on this movie. So many people have supported me through this and I am so thankful to each and every one of you!

Text version of this post under the cut:

Spiderman: Across the Spiderverse comes out tonight. It feels really weird to be typing that out right now. I worked on the movie as a visdev artist for the last 2.5 years, from 2020 to 2023. Long post incoming.

There are a lot of reasons why I'd consider this film to be one of the most ambitious animated films to ever be made. As artists, we were asked to push ourselves far beyond our comfort zones and do things that had never been done before in animation.

Every time we reached a point where most people would say "this must possibly be as creative and weird as it gets," our entire team of artists and animators would smash right through the ceiling. The driving direction for the visuals of the film was to push the limits of every single frame; to challenge audience expectations and make something truly original.

The best thing about this film was that there wasn't a single boring day working on this movie. The hardest thing about this film was also that there wasn't a single boring day working on this movie.

There were times while working on this where the imposter syndrome hit me hard. This was my first big movie, and what a hell of a first movie to get thrust into.

I came in only a few years out of school with absolutely no idea what the hell I was doing. I constantly feared that someone had made a mistake in bringing me onto this film, and I was going to let everyone down. There was a solid chunk of those 2.5 years where I wasn't sure if animation was the right path for me.

If there's anything I could tell my past self it would be this: there are so many people who love you and believe in you. There will be a time when you get to stand on the other side of it, look back on everything and see how far you came.

I'm still working on self-acceptance every day (it will be a lifelong struggle, I'm sure), but I'm glad I didn't give up on myself. I'm proud of myself and my contributions to this film, and I'm certain that this movie will continue to change and shape the animation landscape just as the first one did. That's truly a special feeling to have been a part of. I am so incredibly grateful to every single person who helped me along this journey.

Here come the thanks:

To the ENTIRE visdev & art crew- it's been an honor getting to work alongside each and every one of you. My jaw is literally still on the floor from seeing your incredible talent day after day.

I want to thank Tiffany and Felicia especially for being there for me through tough times- I admire and respect you both so much as artists, and even better than that, my life is greatly enriched for being able to call you my friends.

Thank you Patrick and Dean for taking chances on me, teaching me so much about art and what I'm capable of, and encouraging me along the way. To Aymeric, your art is one of the reasons I initially became interested in animation and you have been one of the kindest & most empathetic mentors I could ever have asked for.

I want to thank my wonderful parents for believing in me always and raising me into the person I am today: everything I do in life is to make you proud. To my brother Andrew who is perpetually awake at 3 AM when I need someone to talk to- thank you for always picking up the phone and making me laugh.

And finally to my partner Luke for making me grilled cheeses on all of the difficult days, for never getting sick of me even when all I would ever talk about was work, and for patiently and steadfastly loving me throughout this entire thing. I don't think I could've done it without you.

Starting tomorrow I will begin posting and sharing some of the art I made for this movie; I'm looking forward to sharing some of my personal favorites with you. I hope each and every one of you enjoys Spiderman: Across the Spiderverse when it hits theaters later today!

#visual development #visdev #spiderman: across the spiderverse #spiderman atsv #gwen stacy

[hausbabylon]

soul bounds disentwined

Wanda Maximoff x Fem Reader

Word count: 5,546

Warnings: A little angsty, I guess? And ofc Reader having a crush on Billy's mom not knowing if it's reciprocated.

A/N: This is inspired in Halsey's music video "Colors", if you have watched it, you can see where this is gonna go...

A/N: For plot purposes, let’s suppose Infinity War and subsequent events never happened, and instead, after the Civil War, Wanda decided to quit her life as a superhero. Part II coming soon!

Wanda Maximoff hired you -a photographer who urgently needed a fresh start- to capture the dishes that would be featured in her second cookbook. Her son, Billy Maximoff, interfered with what you two could have developed. He had feelings for you, and well, you had feelings for his mother.

According to Forbes (2023), Wanda Maximoff secured the third position among the wealthiest chefs worldwide. She is a living proof that we are all capable of rewriting our own story, even after a lifetime shaped by external influences.

Simone Carlisle (Culinary Arts Teacher): Ah, Wanda Maximoff… (pauses) let me tell you, no one prepares you for that feeling, where you find out that you contributed your seed to the plants of successes that one of your students planted in the garden of her life.

Wanda Maximoff (Chef, restaurant chain owner, and television presenter): For as long as I can remember, my decisions were a cycle of revenge and redemption... don't get me wrong, I don't regret beating the shit out of some idiots (laughs), but, with the busy life I led, the only moment I could pause my life was while I was hiding in Scotland with my ex-boyfriend Vision. I had no one expecting anything from me, no one telling me what to do, where to go, it was like a puppy without an owner.

Vision (Avenger, Wanda Maximoff’s ex-partner): Dear, was it a journey. First, I remember that she watched YouTube videos to learn guitar. As soon as she woke up, she grabbed the instrument, and she wasn't satisfied until her fingers got numb. In a very short time, she caught the hang of it, and played for the first time in a small bar. No one knew who she was, and if they did, they probably didn't care. She was just a talented player keeping them entertained. Afterwards, band members fought over who would give her their contact first to join them. I thought that would be the beginning of a very successful music career, because from what I've read, international artists started that way.

Wanda Maximoff: I said, “Vision, I’m never doing this again”.

Vision: She kept practicing, playing in the solitude of her room, of course. It was a hobby-kind-of-passion, not the type of passion she would like to dedicate most of her life to. She went through many of those to realize that her main passion was under her nose all along.

Wanda Maximoff: The courage to join in culinary classes arose from desperation (chuckles), I used to prepare recipes at home, and I needed someone else's approval… it couldn't come from someone who didn't even eat in the first place! And so the beginning of my trayectory was paved by this amazing teacher, Simone Carlisle.

Simone Carlisle: The shy girl who during the intensive course kept her head down, sitting on the back corner, nervously playing with her rings while ignoring whispers and glances from other students, is now in a big framed picture, placed in the most visible spot so that everyone who enters my academy knows that I taught this legend. She made my small business a huge deal now (laughs).

Wanda Maximoff: I never imagined that I would have my own cookbook, television program, or chain of restaurants, let alone all three at the same time! At first, I was content with cooking in a restaurant and earning a decent living, but later, I thought about the possibility of creating a YouTube channel, which subsequently permitted me to finance the publication of my book. Building on the success of my book, the opportunity of my show emerged, which in turn allowed me to open my first restaurant, and ultimately expand it into a chain of restaurants. What I want to convey is that you must trust that the love for what you do is a powerful tool. Success is subjective, so pursue your own concept of it.

Amy Lee (Evanescence’s lead singer and songwriter): It was a hard day of work. I didn’t feel like cooking but I was looking for the homiest, most comforting food possible, and Wanda Maximoff made it a reality with her restaurant located just a few blocks near me. I told my bandmate, Emma, about this amazing food restaurant, she replied, "Oh, the owner has a YouTube channel and a show, you should watch it so that you don't overcook the spaghetti" (laughs). It has been a great help to me ever since, for those are creative but accessible recipes. Plus, it’s a nice touch that she uses her magic to manipulate ingredients and utensils, while making you laugh with her witty jokes. The best way to put it is; she makes you feel like it's a close and sweet friend who is teaching you. Her human and warm approach felt and still feels like a pat on the back.

Wanda Maximoff: My favorite singer since adolescence, Amy Lee, has said something about me that fills me with happiness every time I remember it. She helped me cope, I helped her cook. We're even now.

Vision: You see, Wanda's powers went from being a source of fear in the world to being the main reason why said fear stopped as well. An impressive understanding in her abilities, still doesn't make her an expert, as she can't prevent unexpected situations.

Wanda Maximoff: I was six months pregnant. In the blink of an eye… literally.

The latest legacy of the Maximoff family, twins Billy and Tommy, were effortlessly admitted to Princeton University. The dean was left speechless, for their admission exam grades exceeded expectations.

Tony Stark (Avenger, Stark Industries): With Wanda, our initial connection was through business, the Avengers, you know? It wasn't until she asked me if I could offer her kids an internship at Stark Industries that we developed a closer bond, and man, were those kids geniuses!

Wanda Maximoff: Those kids... one day, they'll outgrow me (laughs). They were so eager to rush through life stages, and I thought, "You don't realize I would give everything to relive those joyful years," but I know better than to project my own frustrations on my sons.

Virginia "Pepper" Potts (Stark Industries): One day, I said goodbye to two fourteen-year-old boys. The next day, Happy informed me that some tall adults with raspy voices, claiming to be Billy and Tommy, wanted to come in. I immediately phoned Wanda, and she casually responded, "Oh, yeah, they can do that," as if maturing into college students overnight was a typical Tuesday occurrence for any teenager.

Thomas Maximoff, (Student at Princeton, son of Wanda Maximoff): What can I say? (chuckles) school didn't present any intellectual challenges for us, and, yes, they do admit child prodigies for... PhDs even! But, we wanted to blend in, to share the same age as our classmates.

Wanda Maximoff: I always considered it a priority to spend time with my boys, so I put a lot of my work on hold, including my second cookbook project. Now that they're focusing on college and their internship, I've had too much time, and by that I mean too much time to finish that unfinished work.

Wanda Maximoff had completed her second cookbook, in response to numerous requests from her loyal fans. Another book that promised to aid all those who seeked a different, quick, and above all, delicious meal at any time of the day. There was no doubt that it would become a global bestseller, just like her previous one.

All that was left were the illustrative photographs for the book, and the studio where you worked at was in charge of this task.

You meticulously made the first dish she cooked appear as exquisite as in real life. You employed several tools like lighting, background elements, and cutlery placement, but you never altered the food in any way, it didn't even cross your mind to do so. This didn't sit well with your boss, but it certainly pleased the redhead.

(Y/N) (Y/L/N) (Photographer): I remember my boss suggested that I add components to the food to make it look more appealing. I responded that that was the equivalent of encouraging unattainable stereotypes of beauty... in food (chuckles).

Wanda Maximoff: By offering unrealistic references, people would be discouraged to notice that their result was not the same as mine, not knowing that those references have hours of strategy to make it look 'aesthetic'. I prefer to show it as it is (pauses) I think that's why I liked this girl, I didn't have to say a word and she understood everything.

Your boss was the typical man who didn't let newcomers like you progress. Although you had been working in the studio for about six months, he never allowed you to touch a camera, which was contradictory because that was the job you applied for.

You did the work he didn't want to do, like transporting, positioning and removing the equipment, and setting up the scenery. That idiot just did the angles and clicked the top right button, and then took all the credit and praise. It annoyed you, yes, but unlike him, you didn't need praise from anyone to fill your ego, you just wanted to be acknowledged for your own efforts and not to be another person’s side kick.

In the meantime, it was enough satisfaction to know that none of the praise he gets would be possible without you, and he knew it…

… and Wanda knew it.

"What do you think, Miss Maximoff?" Your boss showed Wanda the array of photographs he took of the latest dish. He proudly displayed them, awaiting for a compliment from the redhead.

"Wow, (Y/N), placing the sautéed potatoes in a separate bowl instead of alongside the food within the same dish... you were right, it gives them their own protagonism and importance as a side dish," was the first thing she said, eliciting a small blush from you. "Great work!"

"Thank you, Miss Maximoff," after hearing her words, you experimented a feeling that was somewhat unfamiliar to you. It made you feel visible, truly seen and acknowledged in a workplace that often overlooked such things. And the fact that it came from her, made it all even more so profound.

"It's just Wanda," she corrected you, as if her previous actions weren't enough, she gave you the green light to address her in a more intimate manner. Along with that, your boss was already frustrated enough at not being the center of attention for two and a half hours. It was all a dream!

"(Y/N), we're done here, remove the equipment and take it to my car. I'll be waiting for you for just five minutes," your boss ordered you. Not even a ‘please’, nothing. In his gaze was evident that desperate attempt to look intimidating, which only made him look like a tantruming child. However, when his gaze turned to the older woman, he held an incredible admiration and appreciation, almost as if they were two different people in the same body. "Miss Maximoff, it was a pleasure working with you, truly an honor. We could continue next week...”

"Do you have equipment of your own, (Y/N)?" She interrupted him in mid-sentence, and you hesitated briefly.

"Uh... yes, of course, Miss... I mean, Wanda," you replied.

You worked as a freelance photographer in your spare time, capturing people or events here and there. It was something relatively stable, but it could not be your main income, so you felt the need to work on a studio.

"Perfect... I'll be contacting only you so we can work on the rest of the illustrations for the book," she stated.

(Y/N) (Y/L/N): I couldn't believe what I heard! The first thing I did was begging to whatever force there is that this wasn't a dream. It was overwhelming, the feeling of fear and ecstasy… Wanda wanted ME to work with her.

She recognized something in you within three and a half hours that others failed to see in six months. This was it. This was the big break you had been waiting for, the opportunity to show your skills and make your mark.

That being said, you never saw your boss, or stepped foot in that studio after that.

In the days that followed, you poured your heart and soul into preparing for the upcoming shoots.

You studied Wanda's previous cookbooks, familiarizing yourself with her style, her preferences. You even watched her program and her interviews, initially with the excuse of seeing those mesmerizing eyes and delighting yourself with her beauty, but you actually learned a lot of cooking techniques that you were excited to cook when it was such an annoying task for you to do.

When the day of the shoot finally arrived, you were ready. You set up your equipment with a confidence you had never felt before. You positioned the reflectors so that the natural light would bounce where you needed it, and set the scene to make the food appealing and motivating. Wanda watched you work, her eyes filled with admiration and respect.

You smiled at her as you turned on your camera, “So, what do you do with all this food after I photograph it?” You questioned curiously.

"I pack it, multiply it with my powers, and give it to the homeless," she explained. "It's something I often do, in fact, but I prefer to keep good deeds a secret, and not brag about it," she added. “I would appreciate it if you don’t say anything.”

"I figured that about you," you smiled sympathetically.

"You figured?"

“You have always used your skills to help," you elaborated, and noticed she slightly scrunched her nose, as a way of disagreeing. "Yes, even when you were working for Hydra, Tony Stark was destroying territories left and right, and you were seeking justice, doing what you felt was right," you added, noticing how her face showed an expression of realization. "And now, you focus on helping people who struggle with thinking of a simple but good meal in the midst of a hectic routine, and not so much on showing off how good you are at cooking exotic dishes. So yes, I assumed you would also help those who can't even afford a meal, too.”

Wanda's gaze was lost in the white marble of her kitchen floor, and you knew you gave her a new perspective on the wrongs she had done in her past. She meant well all along, and ultimately, that's what mattered. She was a great person in the present, and that's what mattered.

"So, you're the photographer in question," a tall, curly-haired guy stepped into the kitchen doorway, interrupting the train of thought of the woman in front of you.

You laughed at the expression on her face as reality hit her again.

"Oh, yes. Sweetheart, this is (Y/N)," she introduced you to who you already knew was her son. "And (Y/N), this is my son Billy."

"Nice to meet you, Billy," you replied, approaching him to offer your hand to shake.

"The pleasure is all mine," he emphasized the last words, as he accepted your hand. "My mom didn't mention that you were so beautiful."

Wanda cleared her throat, and proceeded to look at him with surprise in her eyes. In a I-can’t-believe-you-said-that way.

You couldn't help but laugh again at how expressive she was without noticing it.

But in their perspective, from how you looked the other direction and chuckled softly, you seemed to snicker at Billy's flattery, which couldn't be further from the truth. He was corny and predictable, but most importantly, he was not Wanda Maximoff.

"Oh, forgive him, he still doesn't know how to control those sky-high hormones," Wanda said, grabbing Billy's shoulders from behind to guide him out of the kitchen.

You noticed that she was already shorter than her son by a few centimetres. This was nostalgic for any mother, but how must Wanda have felt watching it happen overnight? You were curious.

"No problem," you replied, and headed for the counter to begin photographing.

Billy entered the kitchen again, standing next to you, but not close enough to invade your space, which you thanked internally.

"Do you mind if I watch you work, (Y/N)?" Billy requested, and you smiled politely.

"Billy! Don't you have an internship to go to?" Wanda interfered before you could answer.

"Pepper and Tony organized a party at the tower," he replied victoriously.

"College homework?"

"Piece of cake. I finished it an hour ago."

“How about you enjoy your free time and go bowling with your brother?”

“He’s busy playing Fortnite online,” he shrugged.

Wanda rolled her eyes, "Behave yourself. That's the only condition."

"It's okay, Wanda," you reassured her. Each stage in a child's life is gradual, and parents usually have many years to learn about what each stage entails. It was understandable that Wanda didn't know what to do now that her children were suddenly old enough to drink and get into adult trouble.

"So, (Y/N), how long ago did you start this whole photography gig?" The taller guy spoke up, once you took your first picture.

"I've been doing it since I was thirteen," you replied, still capturing the image in before you at different angles. "Dedicating myself to this? As soon as I turned eighteen. I had a decent portfolio."

"I don't doubt it," he agreed.

You gave him a slight thankful smile, and walked over to Wanda, who was setting up the second dish to be photographed.

"What do you think?"You asked her, and it wasn't until she turned to look at the camera that you noticed that this is the closest you've ever been to her. You could smell her fragrance and hear her breathing. Your mind was screaming at you to move away, for you had no right to display such trust yet, on the contrary, your body needed to be as close as possible... to feel her.

You had never touched her, not even when she greeted you this afternoon. She simply opened her door and let you enter.

"Excellent. The blueberries next to the gluten-free blueberry pancakes are wet,” she commented. “Did you do it to provide a sense of freshness?" She inquired, looking into your eyes this time, and... the charm of her green eyes was incomparable.

Throughout life, you've seen different shades of green, but hers were unique. They seemed to have a whole story to tell, as if she gave them that power. Her eyes glowed with an emerald hue that mesmerized anyone who met her gaze, and you were no exception.

“Exactly, that’s what I did,” you confirmed, and you felt your cheeks burning, which you immediately hid by looking down and walking back to the counter.

The only interactions you had with Wanda were to get her to approve your photographs, since her son didn’t allow you both a second to talk. He didn’t cease to ask you all sorts of questions, and to keep the conversation going, you responded with brief 'and you?'s so that he still felt heard and had the space to reveal details about himself.

It was all natural for you. Your work was also based on creating a liveliness in the environment where you performed, plus you got more genuine reactions from people if you made them laugh and feel comfortable. However, you always ended up talking with whoever was willing to, even if you were not there to capture them.

In fact, you were enjoying the conversation with such a charismatic guy. At first, it felt overwhelming, but just by letting the topics flow, you ended up laughing and feeling more at ease with him. In any case, you would be meeting him more than once in the eight weeks that remained before the project was completed.

Once you had finished photographing the ten dishes for the week, you turned off your camera and put it back in its case.

You were too happy with the results. This was all done by you alone, and you would be recognized for it. Never again would your boss's name appear under the pictures that were all your doing. The moment Wanda sends your photographs to the publisher, your name would appear in the book credits, and so a new story would begin.

And Wanda... oh, Wanda made it so clear that she loved your work, and paid so much attention to detail. Not only did she praise you, but she made it a point to let you know that she had indeed noticed the details that to the average eye would go unnoticed. You didn't know if you were really developing a crush, or if it was just the fact that she was an older woman that satisfied that need for attention that you rarely got... or it could be both.

When you were working on your own, you didn't feel exhausted and drained despite the long working hours, unlike when you were in the studio. You were very grateful that Wanda had given you another opportunity like that, and you were confident that it could become a regular thing.

"Wow, seeing all these dishes without having eaten lunch has really made me hungry," you laughed, proceeding to remove the reflectors from the kitchen’s window. The sky was still clear. You started at a perfect timing to take advantage of natural light.

"You haven't eaten? Look at the time! I thought you had eaten before you came!" She exclaimed. The redhead actually looked concerned. "Do you have any idea of the damage you're doing to your body? You need energy for this kind of work."

"Hey, I wanted to make a joke and you ruined it with your lecture," you protested.

Wanda sighed, and shook her head disapprovingly, which made your heart crumble a little.

“I… I’ll get some food on the way home,” you corrected yourself.

"How about you stay for dinner? I was going to make it, Tommy won't be long before he comes back to the real world and notices he's hungry," she offered kindly.

"Oh! Or I can take you out for dinner somewhere nice!" Billy proposed, smiling at you with anticipation.

To be brutally honest, you wanted to throw yourself at him and choke him so no other words would come out of his mouth. You knew Billy was just a guy with a silly crush, excited to show you how interested he was in you. He wasn't trying to do any harm. But, hell, wasn't it enough for him to be the center of your attention all afternoon?

"I'm really looking forward to trying something made by your mom," you declined in the politest way possible. "Many people would kill for that honor!"

Wanda let out a laugh, and her expression also seemed to change as she heard your decision to stay.

But, oh, Billy, Billy, Billy... as persevering as his mother.

"Awww! Next week she'll cook you something, right mom?" he insisted, and even though the redhead tried hard to keep her smile, her eyes changed.

"Sure, I'll cook whatever you want," Wanda sighed. "Go with Billy, and continue your conversation... alone," the way she said that last word was as if she had felt like the third wheel all afternoon, as if she was a hindrance to whatever was starting between you and Billy.

"You owe me," you said to Wanda, letting her know implicitly that you were looking forward to your meeting next week, not this dinner with Billy.

Billy led you to the garage of his house, and opened the passenger door of a black car. You thanked him politely and got in, allowing him to close the door for you. The car was completely spotless, and had a new car smell, but not because it was new, maybe because that was the fragrance he asked for at the car wash. For yours, you always opted for lavender… which made you wonder, what fragance did Wanda like for her car?

"Any preferences?" Billy asked once he hoped in the driver’s seat, pointing towards the car radio. It was noticeable he was doing his best to make this comfortable for you.

"A little bit of everything, how about rock like... Evanescence?" you proposed.

"Ah, my mom loves them," he commented, and your eyes lit up at that statement.

"You're kidding..."

"Yeah, since her teenage years," he confirmed. "Evanescence, In This Moment, Epica, Lacuna Coil..." he listed, trying to remember them all.

You made a mental note to put on that music on your next meeting with Wanda. It wouldn't be hard, as you loved all the bands he mentioned, which was wonderful.

You couldn't wait to show her the latest bands, ask her her favorite songs, and have a topic of conversation that would allow you to bound...

"So, ready?" he spoke, noticing that you were lost in thought.

"Yeah, sure," you nodded, putting on your seatbelt.

The dinner was... better than you expected. In fact, it was amazing.

You didn't really have anything in common with Billy, but the way you both listened to each other, and always found a middle ground despite going your separate ways, made the experience with him extremely pleasant.

The only difference was that, as you each went home, he thought about seeing you again, and you thought about seeing his mother again.

And so, after a week, you found yourself in front of the door of Wanda's house, with your camera hanging from your neck, your equipment already waiting on the pavement next to your parked car, and as a bonus, a speaker you brought along to play music while you worked.

Alone, at last...

When the door opened, you found the redhead wearing a casual outfit consisting of dark blue jeans and a black half-tucked in blouse. Oh, and her face, how you missed that face.

"Hey..." You greeted her, with palpable enthusiasm.

"Hi," she replied, and noticed the speaker in your hand, arching her eyebrow. "I found out last week that you and I have a lot of bands in common."

Wanda let out a gasp of surprise, "Oh, please do come in!"

You laughed briefly, and as you were about to enter your equipment to take it towards the kitchen, Wanda snapped her fingers, and it disappeared.

"Wanda, what the hell?" You exclaimed, looking at her with your widened eyes, had she just disappeared all your belongings?

"Relax, they're in the kitchen."

"That skill of yours would’ve come in handy last week too," you commented, walking into her house.

"It was fun watching you run in and out," she shrugged. "But today you earned it, because of the music."

"I see, I have to earn it?!" You exclaimed, feigning indignation. Really, she could have pulverized your expensive equipment in front of you, and you'd still thank her.

Once both of you entered the kitchen, your reflectors were already in the same position as always. And on the other side, the ten dishes were already hot and ready to be photographed.

"And what would I possibly have to do next week to earn that help from you?" you asked, resuming the topic you had discussed earlier.

"Mmmm..." she muttered, in a way that almost made you weak in the knees. She watched you from head to toe making you feel exposed to her as if she had ripped your clothes to shreds and left you standing there, naked and at her mercy. But you were still completely covered. "... I think you've earned it,” your reaction alone was enough reward to her.

“Thanks, I guess,” you cleared your throat.

You picked up the speaker, and turned it on, placing it in a place in the kitchen where it would not interfere. Your hands were shaking, and you could have sworn that Wanda was watching you with amusement, while you avoided her gaze at all costs.

You grabbed your phone, and played the playlist you had prepared for this moment. "A Star-Crossed Wasteland" by In This Moment was the first to come on.

"Oh, I love that song like you have no idea," Wanda exclaimed, closing her eyes and frowning as she passionately listened to that intro. "That album, in general..."

"It's in my top three," you commented.

"Hell yeah! Now we're talking!" She exclaimed, raising her hand offering you a high-five.

"I'm not that old school," you shook your head, chuckling.

Wanda rolled her eyes, and took your wrist, giving herself a high five with your hand.

"Good girl," she praised you, and you swallowed dryly. At the words, and at the fact that this was the first time you'd ever touched her. "What's your top three?" she asked, acting so nonchalantly after flustering the hell out of you.

“Tell me yours first,” you proposed. You couldn’t even think of your favorite three albums of one of your favorite bands.

"Black Widow, GODMODE, and A Star-Crossed Wasteland, she answered, almost without thinking. It amused you to imagine she'd spent her whole life for someone to ask her that question. "And yours?"

"Black Widow is my favorite, too," you agreed. "Blood, and A Star-Crossed Wasteland."

"Oh, two in common and in the same position," she pointed out, smiling. "If the new album hadn't been so good, it would agree with Blood, too…”

For the rest of the evening, the focus was on your favorite bands, as they played in the background.

You finished faster than last week, as Wanda was willing to use her powers for you to just arrange the background and take the pictures, instead of searching in every corner of the kitchen - you only had to ask, and it appeared.

“Alright, we're done...” she concluded, excited. “Now, let me pack this food and put it in the fridge,” and with a snap of her fingers, it was already packed and subsequently perfectly placed inside the fridge.

“Impressive,” you exclaimed, not ceasing to show your admiration, just like every time she used her powers. If you didn't look so cute, Wanda would have grown irritated at you a long time ago.

“Now, I owe you a dinner,” she said. She never told you, but she was so eager to finish quickly because that way, when her sons returned from the internship, you and her would have spent a significant time together.

The food Wanda made for you was... you didn’t even believe that the accurate word to describe it even existed.

The sensations you experimented had you mindlessly closing your eyes, trying to memorize this magnificent meal, absorbing it all in. You had tried a lot of different restaurants and foods, but none like this, oh they wished they were even close to what you tasted.

This was more than just eating. It was a demonstration of peak exquisite cuisine. This was about more than just sating hunger. It was about the delight of tasting food prepared with passion.

And... just as Wanda was leading you out of the door, you noticed that it opened, and you met who you knew was Tommy.

"Oh, finally I have the pleasure to meet the famous (Y/N)," was the first thing he said. So Wanda... "Billy hasn't shut up about you."

You forced a smile, "That's... nice," you hesitated. "I have a feeling he's going to be a great friend, and I hope you are too."

Tommy noted the intent of your response but decided to reply, "Of course," with a small chuckle. "In fact, you should come play tennis with us next Saturday."

"Oh, I don't know how to..."

"I'll teach you," Wanda quickly interjected, and that hope in her eyes made your decision easier in an instant.

"Well... will you send me the address?" I asked.

"Rest assured."

When you said goodbye to Wanda and Tommy, Billy was climbing the steps to the doorway, and he smiled broadly at you.

"Hi, (Y/N)!" He exclaimed happily. "Have you eaten yet? If not, we can go eat something and catch up."

Oh, how kind he was...

"Thank you, your mom and I already had dinner."

It was Saturday, and you were walking around the room in your apartment. Your best friend, Kate, was already starting to get dizzy.

"Kate! It's a country club!" You exclaimed, for probably the twentieth time. "People there probably eat pizza with silverware, and know the use of all ten thousand kinds of forks. I won't fit in..."

"It's just a tennis game! I'd understand if it was golf, but tennis?! You'll be fine!" She groaned.

"I look ridiculous..." you shook your head, looking at yourself in the mirror. "I mean, what is this cap? And why all white? Am I getting baptized or something?"

"Hey! Do you want to fit in? This is the outfit," she countered. "You look hot, surely Wanda will drool over you when she sees those legs," she cheered you up

"Surely it will be Billy," you sighed, disappointed.

"Wanda too, from what you've told me..."

"No, this is one of the situations where I'm misinterpreting a hint of validation from an older, beautiful woman," you quickly denied. "And as always, my best friend is encouraging my delusions."

"Really? Name one situation."

"That Italian woman who I photographed with her family for several Christmas sessions?"

"Ha! She looked at you funny."

"Yeah, that's why she turned down my invitation to dinner when I finally found the courage, saying I knew she had a husband and kids."

"Uhm... she refused just because she had a husband and kids, not because she didn't like you!" She quickly justified, and you couldn't help but laugh, forgetting for a moment the nerves that were eating at you.

#wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x you #wanda maximoff x y/n #wandavision #marvel

[winguontheweb]

I don't have any new art for the 1 year anniversary of SLARPG's release today. But by gosh is that game important to me. It's been one of the things that has defined my 2023, for the better. It instantly became my new favorite game of all time.

It's brought me and several friends closer together, including my girlfriend and I getting together because of what we saw in the game's story.

SLARPG is such a charming, one of a kind experience with such a colorful and diverse cast of characters that I just never expect to actually see in video games. They mean a lot, lot, lot to me.

I don't know if I would've even started HRT this year like I did without having Melody as an example for the kind of woman I could be.

Thanks so much, to Bobby, Bee, everyone who worked on it.

(also fun to see how my art of the crew has evolved, especially comparing my first Melody and Allison drawing to the most recent)

#wingu #winguthings #melody #melody amaranth #allison #allison goleta #slarpg #super lesbian animal rpg #gay #lesbian #bunny #fox #art

[crescencestudio]

2023: A Year of Connection

Hi everyone!

As I told you last month, this month's "devlog" will be more like an end-of-year recap. For those of you who have known me a while, you'll know that I get ~in my feels~ and Very Nostalgic at the end of the year. And this year is no exception to that.

Looking back on this year, I realize I did much more than I thought I did. The year was filled with so many waves of uncertainty, burnout, and ruts, that I felt like I wasn't accomplishing anything in the moment. Now that the year has actually wrapped up, I can see that was Once Again my imposter syndrome whispering words of sweet nothings into my ears.

In fact, this year, I find that I did Way More than what I did last year. Crazy, considering how busy I remember 2022 being. Let's take a walk down memory lane, shall we?

Writing

If there is one thing this bitch did, it's fucking write LFMASODIJ. For all my complaining this year of routes taking too long, getting creative ruts, etc., I still wrote (what I consider) a Very Good amount. While I may not have hit my writing goals that I had set out, I still ended up writing around 255k words in total this year. Most of this being for Alaris, and some of it being for my dissertation (LOL) and other side games, like Intertwine and Jam Games.

This number also doesn't include deleted passages, edited passages, etc., so the amount I've spent writing, reviewing, etc. was Significant this year. Here's to hoping that momentum continues into next year and finishing the rest of Alaris!

Side Games

Something completely unexpected, but that I'll forever be grateful for, was my decision(s) to join game jams this year. It all started with Otojam, a visual novel jam I'd wanted to join for a WHILE.

Intertwine was, without a doubt, one of my most memorable moments from this year. The friends I made/grew closer to during that jam. The people I connected with because of Intertwine. The people I got to work with. Everything about the experience surpassed my expectations, and Van and Summer 2023 will always hold a very special place in my heart because of it. Thank you to everyone who enjoyed that game. It was my first full game I ever released, and I couldn't have been more nervous about it (no literally. I wasn't sleeping and I was nauseous for a week before release).

Knowing there was no "revision" afterwards that I could hide behind or promise that there would be a "better"/"enhanced" version made the release terrifying. But the reception you all gave to it and support from so many friends made me feel so connected and grateful for the community.

The other three side projects were... well, Unexpected. LOL. Before these jams, I'd never wanted to work in team settings, mostly because I have Mad Imposter Syndrome, and I've always imagined I'd be dead weight in any given game dev team. My skills on writing, art, and/or coding alone aren't "exemplary" enough for me to think I, well, deserve to be on a team. But when a couple of short jams were being held by a friend, and teams were being made filled with other friends, I thought maybe I could help, even if it's just to QA/playtest. But I've walked away from each of these experiences learning so much from other talented people and with very dear friends.

Each of these side games truly tested my chops in terms of writing, narrative design, and coding. But I'm glad I challenged myself to take part in each of these experiences because I've walked away with so much more than I would've expected.

Alaris

My Heart. My Soul. And at times, My Worst Enemy.

As much as I may have talked about how I Wasn't making progress on this baby. I, in fact, made A LOT of progress:

Art: 15 CGs, Updated Sprites, Kickstarter Artwork

Commissions: 20 BGs, Complete GUI, Personality/Affection Indicators, Editing, Voice Acted Lines, Complete OST (8 Tracks!)

Writing: Three Finished Routes

Shipped Kickstarter Merchandise

I'm going to be Real with you all. I'm not in the mood to recap everything for Alaris in the way I did with everything else LAFKMSDFOIJWOEI. Main reason being, I do that Every Month, and at this point, I would feel like I'm repeating myself for no reason. But let me tell you, when the Enhanced Demo comes out, you will see what I'm talking about with progress made. And I'm excited for the next year when I start getting to show things off (read: Demo Release and Route Beta Releases) now that assets have really come together ^^

I will say, thank you for sticking with this project for so long. It's easy to get bogged down in development when a project like this is as big as it is. It's just as easy to think that no one will care about this by the time I release, or people will start losing their patience with me as development goes on. So I'm forever grateful for how kind, supportive, and patient you all are, especially this year <3

Connections: The True Theme of 2023

If you've made it this far, I'm extremely impressed with you. And to reward you, I'll give you a moment of honesty and vulnerability which, to be frank, I Don't Do as a person and especially with my dev persona LMFAOO ((Before I do, let it be known, CW: mention of death, grief, alcoholism, chronic illness, suicidal thoughts))

Something I don't talk about much is that for all of 2022 and most of 2023, I was not in a good place mentally. At the beginning of 2022, I lost three very important people in my life back-to-back (I'm not exaggerating when I say back-to-back it was within 2 weeks, three separate deaths lol). That, on its own, was hard to deal with. But on top of that, I soon found myself having to cope/help with a family member's chronic illness and another family member's mental health (read: alcoholism, suicidality).

While this isn't a particularly unique situation, it was one that I found myself struggling with pretty severely on top of a pretty demanding work life. And it was a situation I found myself in until about midway through this year. Things have lightened up. I navigate a new life with some pretty severe triggers, and without the presence of some of my most loved ones. But overall, I at least feel like I can breathe and function, which is a state I didn't feel like I could exist in for over a year (and started to believe I may never exist in again).

Because of this new room in my life, I was able to connect with people again, in a more genuine way. I've grown closer to a lot of dev friends, to the point I consider some of them genuine close friends. And IRL, I've been able to reconnect with some of my dearest loved ones. The main reason I bring all of this up is because this year, I felt unbelievably connected to people, whether that was dev friends in the community, people who support my games, and IRL people.

And sometimes, when you interact with people solely online, it's easy to think they don't care as much about you as you do for them. But this has been disproven to me time and time again this year. And I've found myself in a state of appreciation for so many of the people I've been blessed to meet and befriend <3 I felt this especially so during some of the game jams, with the Secret Santa gift exchange, and with my recent Holiday Tree.

So thank you for everyone who has let me take up some space in their life. You literally Do Not Know how much it means to me and impacts me. This year, while I started it in a state of slightly hopelessness and numbness, I find myself ending it with gratitude and connection.

I hope the rest of this year (the very few couple of days we have left LOL) treats everyone well. I'm excited for how we get to start 2024 and what we'll get to experience together <3 Thank you again for the memories and support, love you all very dearly ^^

#crescence cries

[irondad-creator-awards]

Artist Spotlight - Monireh89

This week we're speaking to @monireh89, friend of the awards and artist.

Monireh was part of the Awards from the very beginning, creating art prizes for our winners and offering her art for promotion pieces. She's part of why the Awards were successful enough the first year to make us come around to The 2024 Cycle

In 2023 @monireh89 won The Best Sketch Award with this piece.

When did you start drawing, and what inspired you to become an artist?

I enjoyed drawing since Elementary school I think and when it was time to decide on a highschool, I fell in love with one particular art school in Prague so I took drawing lessons and suprisingly for me, I got in. It was an incredible experience for me and I learnt a lot there.

What do you enjoy most about creating your art?

Well, I enjoy the process itself. I love the feeling that I am creating some idea of mine and watch it come to life under my hands. And drawing Irondad is a guilty pleasure for me. I wanted to see more scenes between Tony and Peter in the movies and...damn we only got ONE hug So I was like nope, wanna see more. That's also the reason I want my drawings to be as realistic as possible. To have the feeling THIS really happened in the movies you know.

 Which artwork is your favourite and why?

Hmmmm....well, it is hard for me to decide between two drawings. First one Is an illustration for @losingmymindtonight fic about Peter sleepwalking where Peter is curled on Tony's lap and Tony is like...beaming at the Avengers.

The second one is an illustration for Not broken, Just Bent where Tony is hugging a really scared Peter. I love both of them because I think I managed to get the eyes/expressions right. Cause that is the core of every drawing....to look at it And feel the emotions of those characters just from their expressions.

What’s your subject to create art for?

For me, it has always been portrait. I love drawing emotions on people’s faces.

What inspired the winning piece?

The winning piece was Tony and Peter watching TV on a couch and cuddling over a bowl of popcorn. It was inspired by one of my favourite story by @eccentric-artist-22B Petey and the Hermit. This story is exceptional and always had a place in my heart cause the author is my friend. She send me a copy of the story before she published it and it was such a honor for me to read it first.

 Can you tell us a little about the experience of creating it — did anything stand out or was there a particular person that helped more than others?

So you ask if anything stand out while creating this piece, it was the author. An amazing girl whose stories are an endless pit of inspiration for me.

How did you feel to be a winner of the Awards last year?

How did it feel? Simply amazing! I joined Tumblr years ago with no expectations. I didn’t expect my art to be noticed much and this…this just made me feel like I was really accepted into this beautiful fandom full of incredibly talented people and it really made my day/year.

Thank you so much @monireh89 for answering our questions and your continued support of The Awards.

#irondad creator awards #spider-man #irondad #iron man #irondad and spiderson #spider son #art #fandom awards #artists

[genericpuff]

on the closure of MochaJump, and why we're our own worst enemies in this industry.

"MochaJump? What was that?" is probably your first question, and I'm gonna simply respond with, "Exactly."

MochaJump was a small startup platform made by /u/nunojay2 and a second site engineer (whose name I am not informed of) on reddit. It wasn't anything extraordinary, just a startup site that aimed to offer a more viable alternative to Webtoons and Tapas, with a focus on offering equal visibility to creators, focused recommendation algorithms, loosened restrictions on NSFW content, and bigger cuts for creators on their generated revenue.

Of course, such promises are a tall order, but the creator did their best to host regular discussions with creators in art and webtoon communities to get feedback on what creators really wanted out of their platforms, and they researched what they would need to make in order to keep the site afloat (it came out pretty low at $2 per user per month). Hopes were high and the site launched with a small but eager userbase.

It stayed small. The site shut down in November 2022, just 6 months after launching in May 2022.

Now, I'm not gonna sit here on some soapbox and blame anyone for the site closing down. I unfortunately didn't get much chance to use the site myself so there's surely more I could have done on my own part to help it gain traction. But this is a regular occurrence for start-ups like this, especially in an industry that's as notoriously unprofitable as webcomics. We've seen titans such as SmackJeeves and Inkblazers fall, and MochaJump was merely an infant by comparison.

But it makes me think of how we view and treat these startups as a whole. How we as readers and creators alike have become so trained to exclusively use corporate platforms like Webtoons and Tapas on the promise of "bigger gains". Unlike these bigger companies, platforms like MochaJump depend on building a strong userbase as quickly as possible, and need to find ways to generate revenue to keep things running, otherwise it's only a matter of time before they close down. They don't have a massive conglomerate like Naver or Kakao to pad their pockets through their failures. They don't have the money or reach to inject themselves into society through bus terminal ads and convention sponsorships. They don't have the investors to sink money into their platform until it becomes profitable in return.

So we don't use them. Readers don't use them because we don't see the point in using a platform that has no content... and thus creators don't use them because we don't see the point in publishing our content on a platform with no userbase. Creators seek a place that's "tight knit" and "easy to get seen", but will only post to places that come pre-loaded with massive audiences; because it's not enough anymore to have a couple hundred followers, we're in 2023 now, in the year of consumer bloat, where we expect to now pull in thousands if not millions to be considered a "success". And readers seek a place that offers high-quality high-amount content at the tip of their fingertips, but don't want to pay for the access to these works, and in the case of apps like WT, have given up in trying to support these creators through the platforms themselves because they know that those artists they want to support will likely never see a dime.

The fact of this problem is simple, yet many people seem to ignore it - we cannot expect to have a platform that is tight knit, profitable, and sustainable. These places do not exist, not so long as we continue to raise the bar on what makes a "successful" subscriber count, not so long as we continue to patronize platforms that exploit their artists and writers, and not so long as we keep chasing the dragon of "what these websites used to be". These platforms never used to 'be' anything, they merely existed in one point of time that is now long gone, when owning a smartphone was a luxury and not a need, when online video content wasn't being tethered together by ads, and when the Internet wasn't owned and entirely managed by the same three corporations, the likes of which we haven't seen since cable TV.

Platforms like Tapas and Webtoons are - besides unsustainable - unable to exist and profit in the way they do without undercutting someone along the way. Whether it's underpaying their creators, undercutting their communities, or underexposing the works that have been buried, someone will get the shit hand in the deal and that someone is usually ALWAYS someone who will rarely ever stand to gain anything in the long run from using these platforms despite their issues. The 1% got theirs, and the 10% are barely getting by, while the remaining 89% are pushing onwards, because they have faith in the systemic online enshittification that demands conformity to a single formula for "success".

We are our own worst enemies in this industry. Webcomics are one of the few online mediums that still truly belong to the people - anyone can make them, anyone can find joy in them, but we're letting platforms like Webtoons and Tapas and all the other massive corporate apps rob us of that joy and accessibility in the pursuit of "success" and profiting. Webtoons was never the sole way to profit off this medium and yet I still see people every day who underestimate the existence of legitimate publishing houses and self-publishing, who think that publishing on Webtoons and landing an Originals deal is the only way to find success in this industry. This is meant to be the era of creators, of self-starting and self-actualization, and yet we're still handing all of that control over to corporations that only seek to exploit our art, bodies, and labor, while convincing ourselves that this will somehow all be worth it. We stick with Webtoons, despite the numerous controversies it's been involved in and the lack of support it's given even its own hired creators. We stick with Tapas, despite the undercutting of its most core components such as its community and the outlier genres it used to be known for hosting. We find new ways to justify using platforms that are steadily going downhill - Patreon, Twitter/X, Youtube, Instagram, Facebook - because we've been convinced that these are the routes to success, so if we acknowledge their failures, then "success" can no longer exist.

Because we need to pay rent. Because we need to eat. Because we need to survive. Because it's a lot more complicated than just "stepping away". Because the startups just don't have any of the surface level potential for us to immediately identify and get on board with, so we don't give them a chance.

I realize this post got very existential and depressing. I've been creating comics for well over a decade now, largely unnoticed, and I've fallen victim to these same limiting mindsets that we have to stick to one way, one "formula" for success - a formula that changes with the wind and only works for those who get in on the ground floor. It's been slowly killing me from the very beginning, robbing me of my joy to create, of my reason to even do this in the first place - to tell and share stories with others, to express myself creatively, to live my life surrounded by art and stories and creations made by and for others. It's made me tired and miserable, and I can tell it's done the same to those who have shared that boat with me.

But there's one silver lining I can always be sure of, and it's one I was reminded of after realizing I was still in the MochaJump Discord, with one announcement post that I hadn't yet read.

Webcomics are one of the few online mediums that still truly belong to the people. Corporations are trying their hardest to take that power away. Let's not continue to let them.

If you want to help sustain, patronize, and contribute to the growth of sites that are still being operated by small teams (or even one man armies), please, consider checking out the following websites, some of which serve as platforms or publishers, others which operate as link directories for independent sites run by creators.

ComicFury GlobalComix TopWebcomics The Webcomic List The Webcomic Library Hiveworks SpiderForest SmackJeeves Archive Inkblot.art And whoever wants to use the GitHub source code used for MochaJump (RIP)

Let's do our part to decentralize webcomics again. We may not be able to leave the platforms that weakly sustain us, but we can still support those that strengthen and support us.

#also bonus: if you're willing to pay like $10/year for the domain name you can get free hosting on comicfury #essay post #decentralize the internet #decentralize webcomics #fuck webtoons #support small platforms #don't be a coward #use the sites that only net you 20 readers #it costs you literally nothing but a little extra time #i guarantee most of these sites come with more features and more supportive userbases than webtoons #webtoons doesn't even have a fucking TAGGING SYSTEM #why did we allow ourselves to be convinced that webtoons is setting some industry standard ?? they're PISS #WT is literally persephone #riding off daddy warbucks' money while being a big stinking failure of an entity who no one likes but still calls a hero #no wonder WT loves LO so much it's literally an autobiography at this point

[nijigasakilove]

So here we are. The biggest new show of Fall 2023 is finally here. I’d been meaning to read it for the past year or so, just so many LNs to read that manga tends to get buried down my priority list. I’m glad I experienced these first four episodes in anime form, though.

The storytelling and emotional weight of this first quarter of the show really ignited something in me that I haven’t felt in a long time when watching anime. I was instantly taken back to how I felt the first time I watched Violet Evergarden. Wonderful stories like this remind you that anime can be as simple or as complex as you make it. It’s all down to the quality of the writing. We can learn so much from stories like Frieren.

Eisen’s quote “that’s not what relationships are about” struck me as so simple, yet profound. You don’t enter into a relationship, whether it’s friendship or an intimate relationship with someone with the expectation that it’s all pointless because one day it’ll end and they’ll die. You go into it wanting to enjoy the moment and connect with people. Even though the pain of loss is tremendous, it’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.

Even just in these 4 episodes, we see Frieren undergo quite a bit of a change. From understanding that she took her time with her party members for granted and not being able to give Himmel a proper goodbye, to wanting to make sure Fern didn’t make the same mistake with Heiter. From not wanting an apprentice to taking one one.

The New Year’s Festival was also really sweet to me. Frieren realised that while she doesn’t particularly care about the event, those close to her did. She wants to experience it not just out of respect for those days, but also for her own sake. While she’s been alive over a thousand years, she’s not really “lived”. Life’s passed her by. Meeting Fern and this 10 year adventure that she’s setting off on should do wonders for her.

Madhouse look like they’re back to their prime. The art, animation and storytelling is immaculate. The best they’ve done since Chihayafuru for sure. I got emotional several times during these episodes and I’m really looking forward to more.

#2023 fall anime #anime fall 2023 #fall 2023 #fall 2023 anime #fall2023anime #frieren #frieren: beyond journey's end #Frieren anime #sousou no frieren

[argumentl]

Osaka Noutei Tora no ana: fan report, Sep 23/24 2023 - Kaoru's talk event!

First I just need to say, I consider myself very lucky to have been able to attend and take part in this event!

I arrived at the venue at about 11:30pm, there were already a lot of fans hanging outside, and almost immediately a staff member of one restaurant opposite the venue building approached me and asked me in a shocked tone what on earth was going on with all these people here!😂 I told him it was an event by Kaoru from Dir en grey, and he just had no idea at all, asking, 'Is he Japanese??' 😆

Some fans were saying then that they saw Kaoru pulling up in a taxi and waving as he walked past them to go inside earlier...damn, I was too late!

After entering the building and lining up, I was eventually THIRD LAST into the venue! My ticket number was twice as high as last time..agh! It made me realise how close I was to not getting a ticket at all 😱 so I was grateful, but I was also stressing, because as my ticket number was so high, I was worried I wouldn't be able to see or hear anything from right at the back. In fact, I WAS right at the very back, there were no tables left and only one lonely chair left, but thank the gods, from that chair I had a clear view of Kaoru the whole time!!

Having said this, I did end up with a bit of trouble...in being handed a bunch of stuff as I entered (q&a paper, coaster, drink order token) and having nowhere to put anything, losing stuff, panicking, and then after that having to balance my drinks/food on my lap all night, but HEY, I could see and hear fine, so its all good!

Again, as far as I could tell, I seemed to be the only person there who was not Japanese. If any other foreign fans were there, let me know!!

The talk started with Fujieda and Takabayashi coming out for a quick greeting before calling Kaoru to join them. For some reason, Kaoru didn't immediately come out when he was called, and the audience ended up having to do encore style clapping before he actually came out 😆

He was wearing a black shirt, khaki shorts, a beanie, and glasses.

Kaoru and the managers got their drinks pretty quickly and Kaoru tried to raise a toast, but as us poor folk at the back still had no drinks, Kaoru decided to delay making a toast until we all had drinks (which, I must say, probably took another 30 mins or so). I'm so grateful he waited for us! 😭😭��

To start, Kaoru talked a bit about how things had been for the Tokyo exhibition. That big collage board was also propped up on the stage next to them, and he explained a bit about it.

He also talked about his drawing of the Genesa which was on display in Tokyo. It was his original idea for how he wanted the guitar to look.

They then talked about how they came down to Osaka and brought all the art by car the previous day(Friday). When they got to the venue, the people who they had hired to help them set up everything didn't come, so they called the company and it turned out the company had mistaken the date, and thought they were due to set it up on Saturday instead! Thankfully, it was still all ready by the end of Friday, just a few hours later than expected. Kaoru said that while Takabayashi was on the phone seriously trying to sort out the problem, he himself went to the nearby convenience store, Mini-Stop, and bought ice cream. He really likes the ice cream at Mini-Stop 😆 This reminded them of how they occasionally had to go out to DIY stores for extra supplies during the Tokyo exhibition, and Takabayashi bought taiyaki while he was at one of the bigger stores. This made Fujieda jealous, as he loves taiyaki. Fujieda then told everyone that once during Tokyo run, Kaoru bought all the staff donuts from the store JACK IN THE DONUTS.

Kaoru said that he needed extra space to paint while he was creating all the art pieces so he rented a seperate apartment for the short term, just to paint in...but he heard a lot of noise there from people shouting in foreign languages next door (.....or something like that).

They talked a lot about the mangas they all like, as Kaoru had had some of his fave mangas with him on his desk at the exhibition. Fujieda said that as well as being a huge fan of Dragonball and Slamdunk, he is also a huge fan of Death Note. Kaoru found this kinda funny, and asked him if he'd seen the live action remake of Death Note, which Fujieda said he hadn't. This also reminded them of the recent One Piece remake, and then Kaoru remembered the Dragonball Z live action remake, saying it was astonishing...in a BAD way 😂 He even mentioned how Akira Toriyama had refused any association with it.

Speaking of watching things, Fujieda and a lot of the audience have been watching the new VIVANT TV drama recently, and they couldn't believe that Kaoru hasn't been watching it. (I haven't been watching it either, so this went over my head a bit!!😆)

Kaoru said if he could take any manga to a desert island, he would take Kochi Kame: Tokyo Beat Cops, as stuff like Dragonball etc is already all in his head.

During the first half of the event, a screen was lowered behind Kaoru and the managers, and they used it with a kind of overhead projector to showcase some of the new art. Kaoru used the exhibition pamphlet to project images of the art onto the screen behind, which meant we also got a lot of closeups of his hands and arms ☺️ There were also plenty of spoilers for me, since my ticket for the exhibition is for after Tora no ana 😆 (Again, I still feel lucky there, because I heard some women near me talking in the line that none of them had been able to secure tickets to the exhibition at all.)

Just like when writing music, Kaoru said he also ends up with a lot of duds/write offs when he is painting too.

He started having ideas about putting on an exhibition after the completion of Phalaris, but started the actual painting in January this year.

Fujieda and Takabayashi both revealed their fave pieces from the exhibition, and those works were then discussed in more depth.

It was around this time that a woman in my row at the back started bravely calling out comments and questions to Kaoru, which he was replying to! Im fairly sure I recognized her as one of Kaoru's more visible online fans. Oh, to have her courage!!

Ive totally forgotten how they got onto this topic, but at one poInt Fujieda started talking about how he used to regularly get brazillian waxes when he used to be a bandman. And these days he also waxes his nose hairs...you're welcome for the mental image!😂

It was well past 2am by the time the break was announced. Kaoru dissapeared back stage for around 15mins, and by this time I was also kinda drunk.

After getting restarted, there was a bit of casual talk for a while iirc, and then the Q&A section began.

Once again Im going to start this part of the report by saying my question and name were read out!! BUT with hilarious/tragic results!😂 My question was concerning Kaoru's old band Charm, since he had displayed the flyer in Tokyo, and I also asked if he could expand on his pre-Dir band history in general.

Fujieda was like, "Ok, this question is asking about Charm, what kind of band was it, and stuff? I can't even understand the rest of the question..", and then he promptly announced my name to Kaoru too! I'd be lying if said I didn't feel slightly dead from embarrassment at his last remark! 😂 But let me clear things up here! Remember I said earlier that I was practically last to get inside with no table? Well, I knew I had barely any time left to scribble down a question when I got in. I had mentally prepared the question in my head in advance, so I had to write it as fast as I could with one of those flimsy plastic clip/pencil things, resting on my knees, in a totally frantic state, and in VERY poor light...in my second language! 😂 My handwriting was certainly rushed and untidy, and knowing me, I probably made errors and missed out words etc in my haste. I was actually shocked that it was picked up at all, considering its lack of readability, and the fact that so so many of the other question sheets just got passed straight over. So after some consideration, Im taking this as win! 😂

As for Kaoru's answer, he basically said he has nothing to say about Charm, as if HE was embarrassed to talk about this topic! So yehy, I managed to embarrass us both!! 😆😆 Again, Im taking this postively, you only live once, and I will never forget this! 😂

As for the other questions, he was asked various things, includIng firstly which of the other members is most into exercise? To this he said probably none of them, since none of them are actually inherently sporty.

One question congratulated Kaoru on Hanshin winning the series (the whole audience applauded this), and asked for his alternative suggestion to diving off the Ebisu bridge in Dotonbori. (This practice has been banned due to people getting hurt/killed while jumping off the brige in celebration) Kaoru sarcasticly suggested diving off Tsutenkaku tower instead...the audience was audibly shocked 😂

Another fan asked about how the other Dir members refer to Takabayashi, since Kaoru always calls him Tōru. Apparently the other members call him Tōru too, except Shinya who refers to him as 'kimi'(you). But then again, Shinya refers to Fujieda as 'kimi' as well.

About half way through the Q&A Kaoru introduced some of the merch available at the exhibition, using the overhead projector to showcase it.

Another question asked the dates for the fan trip next year, and Kaoru confirmed it will be on the 16th and 17th of Feb. He already has the location decided and the venue booked, but he couldn't say any more for now. The only hint was that is was nothing like all the suggestions considered back in March. The official announcement will be made next month.

Someone also wrote something suggesting that Kyo and Kaoru do should a shared birthday event, because they didn't like having to choose bewteen Kyo and Kaoru's seperate events. Kaoru was reluctant to do this, because 'its him, right?' (i.e We all know what Kyo can be like when he feels like it...or not!) 😅

There were a few other questions about the usual things, food, baseball etc, and after the Q&A was finished, Kaoru declared he was gonna give away a signed nouteikarano2 poster to one audience member. He asked everyone who wanted to win it to stand up, and then started a game of rock paper scissors, with him against the audience. In the end one fan was remaining and she was called to the front where Kaoru handed her the poster! Obviously I lost against him, but I'm just happy to have played!!😄

As the event was coming to an end an audience member quietly ordered two rounds of tequila shots for Kaoru, and the managers! The were kinda surprised, but still drank them! (Tonnes of food and drink which the audience had been ordering for them was still left over though!)

To end Kaoru stated that the streets were still full of weirdos at this time in the morning (4:30am)..so to be careful (Like, its dangerous, but off you go anyway! 😂). Takabayashi confirmed that, yes, the clubs are still very much in operation at this time. So I avoided the backstreets on my walk back alone! Haha.

Much more was talked about in addition to the above of course, he talked the night away! Despite my blunders, I do feel very lucky to have been here, and it was joy to be drinking till morning with him! Next...the actual exhibition!😅

#dir en grey #薫 #report #tora no ana #nouteikarano2

[leclerqueensainz]

A Family of Three (C.L 16) - Part.I- Discoveries, Reunions, and Surprises

Paring: Charles Leclerc X OC!Marie Anderson

Synopsis: Charles and Marie ended any chance of a relationship years ago. They just didn't expect to have to share custody of a child after the death of their best friend.

⚠️ Warnings: Mention of death and murder, swearing, Charles being a little aggressive in his reactions, mention of sex and drug use. (This chapter may contain triggers!) (+16)

**In this story, Jules Bianchi died in 2019, not 2015, which changes some facts in the careers of the drivers.

A.N: Hello! How are you doing? After a long time, I finally brought Part 1 translated into English! Remembering that English is not my first language, so there may be some mistakes! I tried my best!

Feedback is always welcome. Let me know if you liked it!

Word Count: 7.882

Read the prologue here!

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January 15th, 2023 - Milan, Italy

"Good morning, Marcella!" I greet my secretary as I enter the office. "Any news for me?" I ask the blonde girl who is sitting with her eyes fixed on the computer in front of her.

"Good morning, Marie! And...HA! I did it!" Marcella suddenly jumps, startling me. "I'm sorry! It's just that I managed to schedule the meeting with Fred Lacroix for next week." She says, trying to compose herself, and I smile."

"That's great! You're amazing," I say, leaning over next to her at the table and taking a peek at her computer. "Do you think he'll be in a good mood? He's not exactly known for being pleasant when it comes to selling and buying his art," I ask and Marcella just shrugs.

"I don't know, and honestly, I don't worry about it," she says, and I can see a smug smile spread across her face. "Either way, we're awesome! We always get what we want," she finishes, and I laugh at her enthusiasm. 

I agree with Marcella. We are awesome and always get what we want when it comes to work.

After Jules died, I moved from Monaco to Italy. I felt like I needed to leave it all behind, even if it meant burying a part of who I was with my past. I needed a fresh start, and I closed my eyes to my old life. I had nothing left in Monaco. Nothing held me back or was even worth staying for.

I needed time and a new life, and that's exactly what I found when I came to Italy, where I was able to enroll in arts just in time to continue the school year. And a year and a half later, I graduated and started interning at one of the best galleries in Milan. Shortly after that, I realized I had a lot of potential for curating and dedicated myself to the field, of which today I am still a part, with the highest success rate in recruiting and selling new artists.

Today, I can say that my life is more than comfortable, and I spend so much of my day occupied with work that I hardly have time to think about everything I left behind a few years ago.

"Ah!" Marcella screams and catches me off guard, making me take a few steps back.

"Oh my god, Marcella! You're going to kill me, girl!" I say and put my hand on my chest, feeling my heart skipping like crazy.

"Sorry! I just remembered you got a letter this morning," she says, and I swear my confusion is written all over my face. "I mean, you didn't really get it, it's more like 'they passed the envelope under the door while we were closed, and I stepped on it when I got here'," she says and pulls out a crumpled white envelope with a half footprint on it. "I tried to clean it up, but as you can see, it didn't go very well. Seriously, someone should clean the streets of Milan more," she says and hands me the envelope.

I examine the envelope to find the sender, but I only find "Marie Anderson" written in delicate handwriting.

"There's no sender. That's strange." I say and Marcella nods.

"I thought it was kind of creepy too. I mean, who still sends letters In 2023? Isn't it easier to send a message on Insta? Or like, an email?" I nod my head and shrug.

"Well, let it be," I say and start walking towards my office. "Please let anyone who wants to speak to me know to leave a message. And that includes my mom, okay?" I say and Marcella nods. "Great, thanks," I say, entering my office and closing the door behind me.

I throw my bag on the desk and sit in my chair. I analyze the envelope in my hand again and for a moment, I feel a strange sensation as I stare at it.

"Okay, let's end the suspense, Marie," I say to myself and I grab a staple remover from the pencil holder, passing it over the glued part of the envelope.

Opening the envelope, I take out a sheet of paper with the same handwriting as the envelope, and two photos of a little boy with dark hair and eyes who I swear I've never seen before, but who somehow seems very familiar to me. I turn over the photos to see if there's anything written on the back.

"Vincenzo. 24/12/2021" 

Was written in one of the photos. The little boy was sitting next to what looked like a Christmas tree. I took a look at the next photograph, where the same boy, who seemed a bit older, was sitting on a mat surrounded by toys. "Vincenzo. 19/12/2022."

Feeling even more confused and with a strange sensation spreading through my chest, I picked up the letter I had left aside on the table and began to read it.

France, January 2nd, 2023.

Marie,

I can't even begin to tell you how many times I've thought about how I would write to you. You don't know me, and to be honest, I don't think anyone in his circle of friends and family has even heard of me.

My name is Cecilia, and that's all you need to know about me right now, aside from what I'm about to write to you next: I was engaged to Jules Bianchi.

I know this is strange and perhaps even unbelievable, but it's true. Jules and I had a brief but passionate love story. I loved Jules, and I can say that he loved me too.

Two days before his death, I found out that I was pregnant. I gave birth to Vincenzo on December 24th, 2019. He was a healthy and strong little boy, very similar to Jules.

I loved him from the moment I found out he was growing inside me. The result of something so pure and beautiful, from my relationship with Jules.

I know it's a lot for you to process right now, but so that you can know that I'm telling you the truth, there are two photos of Vincenzo. I want you to look at them and see Jules, just as I do every time I look at my son.

"I've been wanting to write to you for a long time. Jules saw you as a sister. I'm sorry I hid this from you and his family too, but I was so afraid. Afraid of rejection, of being seen as a liar. I couldn't go through any of that. I only had Jules, and after he left me, there was no one else I could trust, so I've been raising Vincenzo alone until now, but I don't think I can do it anymore. Vincenzo has a family besides me. And I need him to grow up knowing that he is loved.

I promise I to explain everything you need to know. Please meet me at the café where you used to meet every time you came together to Nice. January 18th at 4 pm.

- Cecilia.

My hands tremble as I put the letter back on the table.

What the hell is this? Is this some kind of sick joke?

I take the two photos back in my hands and stare at them, now realizing why I found that boy so familiar. It was Jules. That boy is the spitting image of Jules.

But how is this even possible? Why didn't Jules tell us he had someone? That's not like him. Jules was always an open book to us. He told us everything, just as we did with him. He wouldn't hide this from us...would he?

With my head swimming with questions and my heart heavy as lead, I found myself shouting Marcella's name, and less than a minute later, her short locks appeared through the door.

My hands tremble as I put the letter back on the table.

What the hell is this? Is this some kind of sick joke?

I take the two photos back in my hands and stare at them, now realizing why I found that boy so familiar. It was Jules. That boy is the spitting image of Jules.

But how is this even possible? Why didn't Jules tell us he had someone? That's not like him. Jules was always an open book to us. He told us everything, just as we did with him. He wouldn't hide this from us...would he?

With my head swimming with questions and my heart heavy as lead, I found myself shouting Marcella's name, and less than a minute later, her short locks appeared through the door.

"Yes?" She asks before looking at me for a moment and entering my office complete with a worried expression. "Are you okay, Marie?" She says kneeling by my side.

"Book a flight for tomorrow morning. I need to go to France."

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January 18th, 2023. - Nice, France.

I stare again at the clock hanging on the wall above the counter of the small café. 3:45 PM.

15 minutes. Just 15 minutes until I could find out who Cecilia was and why she decided to contact me now, after all this time. And why me? Yes, Jules, Charles, and I were always very close despite the age difference. But why reach out to me? If she intended to introduce the boy to Jules' family, why didn't she contact Christine or Philippe?

I hadn't seen Jules' family in a long time, we didn't even exchange messages. I left them behind when I decided to move on to Italy. They were buried with my past in Monaco.

The bell on the entrance door rings, indicating that someone has entered the premises. My head quickly snaps toward the sound.

And it's like in one minute, everything I struggled so hard to forget and leave behind comes back with force and without control like waves of a tsunami.

Standing just a few meters away from where I'm sitting, my gaze meets Charles'.

Charles. My ex-boyfriend whom I haven't seen in almost four years. The part that hurts the most from my past, besides the death of Jules.

He looks different. So different from the last time I saw him at Jules' funeral. This time he's not dressed in mourning black, no. He's wearing casual clothes, dark jeans, and a moss green sweater with the word "FERRARI" stamped in black. There's a scruffy beard on his face and his eyes...damn. The eyes that last time reflected so much hopelessness were now more alive, but still with certain traces of concern.

Charles walks up to where I'm sitting, his steps quick and wide as if he wanted to corner me before I could escape again. He stops half a meter away, and his gaze curiously roams over me. His expression is stern but also covered in doubt. I bet that, like me, he wants to understand why I'm here.

"Charles..." I'm the first to say, my voice low and uncertain. He nods slowly, his gaze still fixed on me, as if he wants to uncover all the secrets I gained during the years we were apart.

“What are you doing here, Marie?" he asks, direct and determined, without any hesitation. It's a tone I would have never expected to hear from the Charles I left four years ago. Yes, he really has changed.

I wished I could answer him with the same intensity, but honestly, I don't think I could. There's so much going on here and my head is spinning with so many questions and emotions. Why is Charles here? What the hell is going on? Did he set all this up?

"Is this some kind of joke? Because if it is, I swear to God it's not funny," he says, his tone now rough.

I sit there staring at him, completely confused.

Charles runs his hand through his hair, messing up his brown locks even more. He sighs heavily and closes his eyes, his tongue quickly passing over his lower lip. He used to do that all the time when he felt anger or frustration. At least that hasn't changed.

"What are you doing here, Charles?" I ask, and he opens his eyes, once again staring at me.

Charles's hand reaches into his back pocket and pulls out an envelope identical to the one that was left for me in the office in Italy. The difference is that I can see that this one was addressed to Charles, only his name, and also without a sender.

"Please tell me it wasn't you, Marie," he says as his eyes shift from the envelope to my face. I look at him with all the sincerity I can muster and answer, "No, it wasn't me." He nods his head, his expression softening a bit. He moves and sits in the vacant chair in front of me, his hands going up to his face to rub it.

"Jules has a son," he says.

"I know," I reply.

"Charles lowers his hands and stares at me once again, confusion etched on his face. Before he can say anything, I reach into my bag on the table, open it, and take out the white envelope. Charles looks at my hand for a moment before reaching over the table to take the envelope from me."

"You got one too," he says, not looking at me, even though it's not a question,  I nod my head in agreement.

"It seems she arranged to meet with both of us. I think it's easier if we hear the story at the same time, that way there's no risk of getting the wrong versions," I say, and his gaze shifts from the envelopes on the table to me.

"Do you think it's a lie? That the boy isn't Jules's son?" he asks seriously, and I just shrug in response.

"I believe it could be Jules's son. I just don't know why she waited all this time and why she chose us. Obviously, we're not the best people to show Vincenzo that he has a family on his father's side," I say, and I see Charles's jaw tighten.

"We were friends with Jules. He trusted us," he says, once again his voice sounding rough.

"It seems he didn't trust us enough to tell us he fell in love," I say, and immediately regret it.

I look at Charles and if we were part of a cartoon, he would have flames in his eyes.

“You don't know what happened. You don't know his reasons, just like me,” he says through gritted teeth. “Don't doubt his motives. Not when he's not here to defend himself.”

In all the years I've spent by Charles' side, I've never seen him so angry. And if I didn't know him, I'd be scared.

But do you still know him? I silently ask myself.

"That's not what I meant," I defensively reply. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean for it to come out that way. Of course, Jules had reasons and we'll find out when Cecilia arrives." Charles relaxes his jaw and adjusts in his seat.

I look at the clock on the wall again. 4:10 PM. She's late. I look at Charles, a little anxious.

"Do you think she's coming?" he shrugs, but his hand goes into his hoodie pocket and pulls out a cell phone. 

"She's late," he states what I already know. "But I think so, she's coming." Charles carelessly tosses the phone onto the table, his anxious fingers fidgeting with his rings.

"Congratulations on the runner-up, by the way," I say, trying to ease both of our anxieties, and he looks back at me.

"Did you follow the races?" he asked, a little surprised.

"Yes," I admit, somewhat embarrassed. "My secretary is a huge Formula 1 fan," I add, which is not a lie. 

Like all Italians, Marcella is a devoted Tifosi. And even though I wanted to leave everything I knew behind, I couldn't escape one of the most beloved sports in Europe, especially in Italy, the home of Ferrari.

Charles lets out a low laugh, his look adopting the expression of a mischievous boy. Oh no.

"Your secretary, huh?" he says with a teasing and suggestive tone.

"Ah, shut up, Leclerc!" I say, trying to sound serious but failing when I let out a laugh. "I'm serious! My secretary is a diehard Tifosi. She can't shut up for a minute about Ferrari and makes me watch all the races," I say, shrugging.

"Yeah, yeah... And I bet I'm your 'secretary's' favorite driver, right?" he says, making air quotes with his fingers and having a smug smile on his face.

"Actually, she prefers Sainz," I say, and instantly his smile turns into a serious expression, which makes me laugh.

Soon, Charles' dimples appear on his cheek and my heart skips a beat at the sound of his typically somewhat flawed and exaggerated laugh. Oh, how I enjoyed hearing that horrible but at the same time very cute laugh again.

At that moment, even though I hated to admit it, I realized how much I missed that feeling of familiarity and lightness. And even though just a few minutes ago, I was doubting whether I still knew the person that Charles had become, I could see that regardless of the years and tragedies that life had subjected him to from a young age, that kind and playful boy that I had once fallen in love with was still there. And maybe he would never leave. And I liked that.

Looking at Charles smiling, sitting in front of me, I wonder for just a second if it would have been different if I hadn't left. But as soon as the thought came, I pushed it away. Because even though I was happy to know that Charles still had something familiar to me inside him, we were not meant to be even before Jules' death. And I doubt that we could have maintained a good relationship with all the pain and mourning that surrounded us. I made a good choice. Yes, I did the right thing.

Leaving Monaco was one of the hardest things I had to face. But it made me grow and become a strong woman. I learned to deal with loss, even if it may not be the healthiest way, it still worked for me. I was able to finish college, got the job I wanted, and met new people. I fell in love, and even though I didn't love them like I loved Charles, I still allowed myself to feel and try happiness. Clearly, it didn't work out, but the experience was worth it.

And I can also say that Charles has achieved what he wanted, or almost everything. He is one of the best Formula 1 drivers and drives for Ferrari, which is almost every motorsport athlete's dream. He has a successful career and is known worldwide for it. And even though he didn't get the title he so desperately craved last year, he may get it this year. He is focused, grateful, and kind. The golden boy. Il Predestinato.

Even though Charles is so young, he has given his family and friends everything they ever dreamed of. Pascale must be so proud of him, and if Harvé were still alive, I'm sure he would also be proud of the son he raised. And Jules would also be proud to see Charles' progress.

And then the emptiness appears again. Jules. I try my best not to think about him. The memories are still painful even after all these years.

I think I let my thoughts reflect too much because Charles, who was laughing before, now looks at me with a compassionate expression. He probably thought of Jules too.

"I miss him too," he says and I nod my head. "And I missed you too," his hand meets mine on the table.

There were no ulterior motives. Just a gesture. A gesture to affirm what he was saying. And it hurt. It hurt in my heart and soul.

I quickly withdraw my hand from his and stare at the table. Charles withdraws his hands and keeps them close to his body.

"I know you didn't owe me anything, Marie. No explanations, not loyalty," he starts, his voice a little broken, making my heart tighten. "But Jules died and you left. Why did you leave?" he asks, and I can hear the hurt in his voice.

I wished I had the strength to lift my gaze and tell him while looking him in the eyes that everything I did was out of fear and thinking that there was nothing left for me in Monaco. That I still loved him even after he broke up with me and that losing Jules to death destroyed me, but knowing that I would lose Charles while he was still alive would only ruin me even more. I couldn't see him every day and know that he no longer belonged to me. And that every minute I spent mourning and heartbroken without him reminded me that love was impossible for me. That I didn't deserve to be loved. That there would never be anyone to love me.

"I had to go," I say, still staring at my hands. "I don't expect you to understand or forgive me. Because I'm not asking for any of that, Charles," my voice sounds firm but my eyes burn.

I take a deep breath and hold it for a few seconds before releasing it. I raise my gaze to meet his when I'm sure the tears won't fall.

"I had to make a choice and I did. I chose myself," I say simply, perhaps trying to convince myself.

Charles nods his head and goes back to fiddling with the rings on his fingers. This time it was difficult for him to look at me.

"I'm happy to see who you've become, Marie. And I hope you've achieved what you wanted when..." he pauses for a second, unsure of what to say, "when you left Monaco." A tired laugh escapes his lips. "I'm not going to judge you, especially since when you left, we were no longer a couple. But I was an idiot to think that we were still friends." He looks back at me. "I was foolish until I realized that there would be no possibility for us without Jules being here."

I wanted to scream. I wanted to stand up and throw everything in front of me at him. I wanted to curse at him and tell him that he didn't have that right. But to be fair, I could never do that. Not when I left, when it was me who left what was left of the three of us. Jules had died and I had fled. When I left, I didn't think of Charles or his feelings. I only thought of myself and how I could never live with that.

I don't regret it. I did what I thought was necessary and would do it again. Charles might have needed me, but I needed to leave and heal. And that's what I did. Charles still had friends and family to rely on, and I had no one. No present family, no friends, and no boyfriend. Charles and I both mourned, of course, but we mourned in different ways. He had lost a friend, and I had lost everything.

There was no one to come home to and hug. There was no one there to tell me that they were sorry for my loss and that everything would be okay. So I went after what I thought I needed and I got it. I went in search of myself, a new life, new choices, and opportunities, and I found them. I found myself. Of course, I let go of a lot, and the void left by Jules and Charles was never filled, but I learned to cope and use it to my advantage for other things, and that was enough, at least for now.

Before I could respond to him, I'm interrupted once again by the sound of the damn doorbell.

Charles and I turned our attention to the door at the same time. Both of us were staring at a slim blonde woman, wearing a green coat and leggings. But what caught our attention the most was the little boy in her arms. He was about 3 or 4 years old, with dark hair, lying with his face hidden in the woman's neck, and his small hand clutching onto her collar as if he were afraid she would leave if he let go.

Charles and I stood up in rehearsed gestures, all at the same time. He stopped beside me, his hand resting on my shoulder, covered by my own coat this time. The woman looked at us and came slowly towards us. When she got closer and stopped about a meter away from us, I could analyze her.

Her face was thin and perfectly symmetrical, and even though it seemed like she hadn't slept in days, her tired eyes were a beautiful shade of greenish-brown. She is very beautiful. Her lips opened in a small smile, and there I could see that she easily fit Jules' type.

"I assume you are Charles and Marie, right?" She says, her voice sweet and tired.

My gaze moves from her to the little boy in her arms, and then they cross with Charles'. He tells me through his eyes the same things I am thinking. We return our attention to the blonde in front of us and nod.

"Great!" She clears her throat before continuing, "I'm Cecilia, and this little guy here is Vincenzo." She gently shakes the child, who tightens his grip on her coat collar even more. "Jules' son."

Charles' grip on my shoulder becomes stronger, and I swallow hard. I can't take my eyes off the little boy, and now up close, I can see his profile. His chubby childlike cheek and long eyelashes, just like Jules'.

Cecilia shifts uncomfortably, her feet shifting the weight from one to the other, and she adjusts Vincenzo's position in her lap.

"I know you must have thousands of questions, and I promise I will answer them all. But before that, would you mind if I sit down? Vincenzo is a bit heavy, and I walked here with him in my arms," she says, embarrassed.

"Of course not. Please," Charles approaches her and pulls the chair he was sitting in a few minutes ago. Cecilia sits down, careful not to make any sudden movements and wake Vincenzo.

Charles points to the empty chair, and I sit down. He takes a few steps hto the table next to us and takes an unoccupied chair to sit on. Once the three of us are seated around the table, Charles calls the waitress, whom I only now notice has been staring at us this whole time. The redheaded and smiling girl, who probably can't be more than 19 years old, approaches with her gaze fixed on Charles- she probably recognized him.

Charles is the one who orders. A cappuccino for me- which causes a sensation in my stomach that he still remembers- an iced tea for himself, and he asks Cecilia what she would like to drink, to which she responds that coffee would be enough. The redhead writes down the orders and asks for permission to leave. Her eyes still glued to Charles.

I roll my eyes internally, but I know I can't blame her. After all, it's probably not every day that she serves a public figure. When we used to come here with Jules, the employees were different, and the small café is located on a somewhat isolated street in Nice, so it's unlikely that many famous people come here.

I take my gaze off the waitress and turn back to Cecilia, who was already looking at me attentively with a small smile on her lips.

"Well..." Charles begins. "Why are we here, Cecilia? Why only now have you contacted us?" He leans forward a little more, his arms resting on the wooden table.

Cecilia shifts in her chair carefully and her eyes briefly glance at Vincenzo before turning back to us.

"I wanted you to meet Vincenzo. While he was alive, Jules always mentioned you as part of his family. He loved you both very much," she says, and I feel my chest tightening.

"But why only now?" I speak for the first time. "I know you wrote in the letter that you were afraid, but it still sounds strange that you would come looking for us now, without any reason," I say, trying to keep my voice steady.

Cecilia falls silent for a few seconds as if she wants to formulate the next words carefully.

"There's a reason," she confirms. "Look, I know it's strange, and I assure you that I'm not looking for any money or anything like that." Her gaze shifts from me to Charles, as if she wants to confirm the latter part specifically for him. "Jules and I met about six months before he died, and it was love at first sight."

"He never told us about you," Charles responds cutting her off and she nods. 

"I know he didn't. I asked him not to," she says and Charles and I exchange confused looks before turning our attention back to her.

"What do you mean? Why would you ask him not to?" I ask, finding it all very odd.

"When I met Jules, I was in a complicated time in my life," she answers and I see her face darken. "I was only 19 and had run away from Italy." Her voice trembles as if it's hard for her to mention those times again.

I wish I could tell her that she didn't need to tell us if she wasn't feeling comfortable, but the truth was that it was really necessary. After all, that's what Charles and I are here for.

Charles nodded for her to continue and I could feel his tension.

"I got involved with the wrong people in Italy," she continues. "There was a boy I had been in love with during my teenage years, Paolo was his name. We were very young and stupid, you know?" Cecília laughs and her eyes fill with tears. "Like every teenager, we thought we were invincible, but we weren't. When I was 17, I spent most of my time at parties and clubs with him. We drank and did drugs, and everything was fun and happy until it wasn't anymore. Over time, the drinking and drugs stopped being just for parties and began to become necessary for anything. From being able to concentrate on studies, to being able to get out of bed. My parents assumed that Paolo was to blame for my addiction and banned me from seeing him. I obviously went against them and they made me choose between a life with them or my ruin with Paolo. I, being young and foolish, chose love and abandoned my parents without looking back. I left the life I had to chase adventures with Paolo and he did the same, running away from home. But the thing is, we were two addicted people without a home and money. There was no more money from our parents, so we started doing whatever we could. Small thefts and even..." She stops for a moment, thick tears streaming down her face.

"Here." Charles extends a napkin and she takes it, wiping her face immediately after.

"Thank you," she says and he offers her a half-smile. "Even prostitution," she continues, and I feel my stomach churn. It wasn't disgust, but rather a pity for imagining someone in that situation. Beside me, I could see that Charles was equally uncomfortable. It was hard for him to put himself in her place.

Charles grew up with great parents who did everything for their children, and even though they weren't millionaires at the time, they still managed to have and offer a comfortable life for them. And I bet that if any of the three, Charles, Lorenzo, or Arthur, had gone the wrong way, Pascale would never have abandoned them.

And me, well, I was lucky. I spent my teenage years with Jules and Charles, who had a structured enough family to share with me because my parents were absent.

Obviously, Charles and I had our rebellious phase with occasional drinking and smoking weed. But Jules, being almost ten years older than us, always kept us in line like a good older brother. And if he knew that we had crossed the line at parties or anywhere else, oh God! He would freak out.

- "Cecilia, I know it's difficult for you to say this, but I think it's important for Charles and me to understand," I say and she nods.

Cecília takes two deep breaths before continuing, and that's when I'm sure the story would only get worse. I try to prepare myself to hear what she had to say.

"I prostituted myself a few times without Paolo's knowledge. Some traffickers gave me drugs in exchange for sex and since many times I had no other choice, I accepted. But one day he found out and that ended us. With us." Tears returned to stream down her face. "Paolo went crazy when he found out and went after the trafficker I had slept with. He got a gun and killed the guy. We were on the run for a few weeks, but it was too hard for two homeless addicts to hide in Italy. Soon they found us and..." She closes her eyes and sobs.

I stretch my hand across the table and take Cecilia's hand. There was a lot of pain there and part of me wanted to curl up and stop listening, but I couldn't. I glance at Charles and he meets my gaze, his eyes reflecting distress at hearing everything that came out of her mouth. It was too surreal for him to hear all of that.

"They killed Paolo and thought they had killed me too. But by some miracle, I managed to survive and ask for help at a church. The priest there was friends with my parents and managed to find a family in Nice who were willing to help me. So I came to France, went through rehabilitation, and started attending meetings for drug addicts." Her eyes become distant again, and I continue holding her hand. "It was on the way back from one of those meetings that I met Jules, and that's where I understood the reason why I survived. We fell in love, but he had a public life and I couldn't expose myself because I was afraid that they would come after me. I told Jules what had happened and unlike what I thought he would do, he embraced me. He promised me that he wouldn't tell anyone, not even you two until I was ready and safe. And he did that. He kept us a secret for months. We saw each other every time he came back to Nice, after the races." She finishes.

Charles and I watched as Cecilia tried to calm her breathing, her grip on the sleeping Vincenzo's body tightening as if afraid he might disappear from her arms at any moment.

It breaks my heart to see all her pain and gives me a completely different perspective from when I walked in here today. She loved Vincenzo, and that was clear, just as she had loved Jules. And that's the part that hurts me the most.

Knowing that the reason Jules never mentioned her to us, his friends and family, was sole to protect her, made my heart heavy and warm at the same time. That was so Jules.

I remember months before he died, he started to spend more time in his hometown and whenever we asked him about it, he said he wanted to spend a little more time with his family. We even found it a little strange, but Jules always had a great relationship with his parents and closest relatives, which made us simply let it go and just enjoy the time we spent together before he and Charles had to go back to racing.

"I'm sorry for all of this, really, Cecilia," Charles is the first to say after she seems calmer. "But we still need to know why you're only coming to us now," he says, and I agree.

Cecilia nods and looks at Vincenzo in her arms. The tension emanating from her makes me shiver, and Charles probably noticed it too as his hand finds my thigh under the table.

"About two days before Jules' death, I found out I was pregnant with Vincenzo," she says and I nod in understanding. "Jules was racing in Shanghai and I was scared and alone here." The tears that had ceased returned in stronger waves.

My mind teleports back to 2019, to Jules' last race. He was so happy to finish seventh that day. But, all of a sudden, he just wanted to go home and rest, not even celebrating with the boys on the grid.

"I sent him a message after the race. I said I needed him to come to Nice as soon as possible because something had happened," Cecilia looks at Charles as she speaks. "Then he sent me a message saying he would take the first available flight back to France."

As Cecilia talks, Charles' grip on my thigh gets stronger. I look at him from the corner of my eye and I can see the moment his Adam's apple goes up and down.

"So that's why he left so quickly that day," Charles' voice sounds low. "He left before I could talk to him..." His eyes fill with tears and his breathing becomes a bit unstable. Cecilia just nods and closes her eyes tightly before continuing.

"When Jules arrived in Nice, it was already early morning and it was raining heavily. He tried to get a taxi or Uber, but couldn't get either," this time I feel my breathing falter a bit as she continues. "He managed to rent a car from a nearby 24-hour agency and sent me a message saying he would arrive soon and that I didn't need to worry because no matter what was happening, everything would be okay and that he loved me."

Charles stood up abruptly. His face adopted a look of disbelief.

"It was you..." his voice was weak and accusatory. "It was because of you that he... My God!" He flinches and his hands pass through his face and his hair.

"Charles..." I try to calm him down, even though I am also anxious. "Charles, please sit down and try to calm down." I try to grab his hand, but he recoils in a sudden movement.

"Calm down? It's her, Marie!" he says, pointing to Cecilia who only shrinks into her chair and holds Vincenzo even tighter, as he moves uncomfortably in her lap. "She killed him! IT'S HER FAULT THAT JULES DIED!" he screams.

My breathing becomes difficult and my heart races. In front of me, Cecilia sobs and holds Vincenzo even closer to her body.

All that commotion made some employees start to appear and approach at a safe distance from the table.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," Cecilia pleads. "I swear I never wanted this to happen, I was so scared and..." She stops when she hears Vincenzo's low cry.

Charles' attention goes to the little boy as he realizes he is now awake. He shakes his head in a negative motion and leaves the café in a hurry, slamming the door hard behind him. We are startled by the noise and the little boy cries even louder. I quickly get up to go after Charles, but before I do, I turn to Cecilia.

"Please wait here, okay? I'll try to calm him down. Don't leave," I say, and she nods, her face stained with tears that continued to fall, and her breathing accelerated as she rocked Vincenzo, trying to calm him down.

A dark-haired waitress approaches with a glass of water in her hands and places it in front of Cecilia. I thank her with a gesture and quickly leave through the door to find Charles.

It doesn't take me long to find him, he was in front of a black car. His body leaned against the driver's side. Even from a distance, I can see his body shaking and hear the sound of his erratic breathing. I approach him slowly, so as not to startle him.

When I get close enough, I think about touching him, but the thought leaves my mind when I realize it's not a good idea.

"Charles..." I call him softly to get his attention. "I'm sorry, but we need to go back there. She-"

"No!" he exclaims. "Please, Marie! Don't ask me to go back there. She killed him! It was her fault!" He stares at me with red and swollen eyes.

My heart tightens at the sight of him like this. I find myself being sent back to the year of Jules' death, specifically to the day of his funeral.

I wanted to hug Charles and tell him that everything would be okay, but in reality, I didn't know if it would. Jules had died almost four years ago, and yet it still hurt every time his name was mentioned. And hearing today from a stranger the reasons that resulted in his death was not easy. But there was a reason why Cecilia wanted to contact us after all this time, and we needed to know.

I take a deep breath and decide to approach Charles more. One of us had to try to be rational at this moment, and if it had to be me, okay. I wasn't going to go back to Italy without an answer.

"Charles, I understand that it's difficult to hear all of this suddenly," my hands go to his face. "I know it hurts, Charles. I'm feeling it too." He closes his eyes and I feel tears rolling down my face. "But we can't blame her entirely, Charles. She was scared and just wanted to talk to him.”

“And it resulted in his death." He says, his eyes opening and meeting mine. "Marie, if she hadn't done what she did, he would be here now. He would be alive and he would have met..." His voice trails off. "He would have met his son." He cries and I pull him into a hug.

Jules died without knowing his son. Jules died without knowing that he would have a son. Jules died in the dark without knowing what was happening to Cecilia. Jules died alone and worried, and nothing we can do will bring him back. He died. It's over. But Charles and I are still here.

"Jules died without knowing his son, but we're still here and we can do this for him," I say and he squeezes me tighter.

 "We're still here, Charles. And we can do this." He breaks the hug and looks at me with a face full of sorrow. I nod. 

"We need to go in there together. Together," he looks down at his feet. "Charles, I need you to go in there with me because I can't do this alone." His eyes come back to me and he understands that I used the same words he did a few years ago. "Please, Charles. I don't want to do this alone. I can't." He nods and I take his hand and slowly lead him back to the cafe.

When we walk through the door, my eyes meet Cecilia's. I nod my head to let her know it's okay, and she nods in understanding. I look at Charles who stares at her expressionlessly. His gaze is icy, totally different from the one I once knew.

Still holding Charles' hand, I walk toward the table where she uncomfortably waits for us. I notice that Vincenzo is no longer in her lap and feel momentary concern that quickly passes when I see him playing with the same red-haired waitress who had served us.

We sit in our chairs and I see that our orders are placed on the table. I feel my stomach churn just looking at the cappuccino in front of me. I take glance around and notice the employees trying to avoid looking at us. I make a mental note to "solve" this problem so it doesn't follow us when we leave.

"Just say what you want," Charles breaks the silence, his eyes still staring at Cecilia who nods and swallows hard.

"I understand your anger, and I know I have no right to ask for what I'm about to ask," she says and my hearing sharpens. "I live with guilt for years. Whether it's for Paolo or Jules, guilt and remorse follow me wherever I go. No matter what I try to do, they're always there." She looks at her hands. "Last year, I relapsed. I used heroin, once, but I used it. After years of resisting and not even going near drugs, I let my messed-up mind fall into the hole and I shot up." She lets out a desperate laugh and her eyes fill with water.

My body freezes and Charles makes a sound of scorn beside me. When he opens his mouth to say something, Cecilia cuts him off.

"Yes, I know I'm a whore, and I deserve the worst shit life has in store for me. But that's the thing. I deserve the bad things, but my son doesn't," she says firmly, looking at us seriously. "I need Vincenzo to have a good and decent life. I need to make sure he grows up loved and that he never lacks anything." She looks away for a moment to the table where Vincenzo was happily playing with the waitress and then back to us.

Cecilia takes a deep breath and leans forward. I could swear she was capable of asking for anything at that moment. Money, a house in a distant place, a period in rehab, anything.

"I can't take care of Vincenzo anymore," she asserts, her tone exuding bitterness. "I promised Jules that I would do everything to make him different from me. And that's why I came to you after all these years."

My head spins. She's asking for...? No, it's not possible.

"What do you mean by that?" Charles asks anxiously.

"Cecilia wipes the tears from her face with her hand, blinks a few times, and adopts a determined look, a look that I knew well. The same look I gave to myself in the mirror when I decided to leave Monaco. Suddenly, I feel afraid because my suspicions are confirmed.

"She wants us to take care of Vincenzo," I say.

#charles leclerc smut #charles leclerc x black!reader #charles leclerc x reader angst #charles lecrelc #pierre gasly #carlos sainz fanfic #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #lewis hamilton #formula 1

[seasonsofcapri]

Seasons of Capri 2023: Cycles & Circles - Masterlist!

Thanks to everyone who participated in the fest this year and made it such a success. Scroll down for the full masterlist, but here's a quick summary of what we did this year:

Fics submitted: 14

Fanart submitted: 3

Total number of words written: over 198,000, including four works in the 10,000-20,000 word range, and three that broke 30,000

We're so grateful to everyone who signed up and made all this incredible art. We couldn't do it without your love for these characters and this fandom! ❤️

And now, here are all of the wonderful creations for this year's fest:

Sexual Intercourse by antivillain

Fic | Damen/Laurent | 2.3k

Damen's healthy enough to engage in sexual intercourse. Laurent is (emotionally) healthy enough to tease Damen mercilessly for being so awkward and uncomfortable discussing the matter with Paschal. Paschal is not paid enough.

Tie Me Down, Set Me Free by @kiseopingu

Fic | 14.3k | Damen/Laurent

When Damen gets hired by his family's sworn rival to help track the man's younger brother, he doesn't expect the road to lead him to familiar places, and familiar faces. As for Laurent, his path to freedom is clear. It's only a matter of creating an opportunity to reach it.

As past and present slowly merge, both Damen and Laurent are forced to contend with their truths, whether they want to or not.

Jokeste’s Journey by @vmcgmidlifecrisis

Fic | Jokaste/OFC | 4.3k

Jokaste travels north, meets (original character) Drifa and gets some sexy fulfilment.

Beautiful, Beloved, Strong by bluehair

Fic | Erasmus/Kallias Erasmus/Torveld | 1.5k

My prompt for The Seasons of Capri Fest 2023 was: "Kallias schemes to save Erasmus with no hope of seeing him again--until one day, he does." Hope I did it justice! Because Kallias really would do anything for love.

Returning by flightinflame

Fic | Damen/Laurent | 2.4k

Damen knew the return to Arles would be hard for Laurent. He had not considered that it would be hard for himself.

The Stand-In Wedding Planner and the Obstinate Baker by penstrikesmidnight

Fic | Damen/Laurent | 2.8k

Auguste's wedding planner has decided to go on vacation a week before his wedding, leaving Laurent, the best man, to make sure everything is taken care of. If that's not enough, Laurent has to deal with an obstinate baker who seems intent on making his job as hard as possible.

There is absolutely no chemistry between them. At all.

Heat by @linecrosser

Art | Auguste/Laurent | Digital

While in the middle of a campaign in Delfeur with his older brother, the Crown Prince of Vere, Laurent goes into his first (late) heat at age 17 (totally triggered by the presence of Damen, the stupidly handsome Crown Prince of Akeilos). There are very few things more dangerous than having an Omega in heat while camping in enemy territory, and it's too late now for suppressants. Leaving Laurent to ride out the heat on his own would mean leaving it last for three days or more. Auguste has no option but to help Laurent through it by himself, so it will last no longer than a couple hours.

Red (like our spilled blood) by @pijulle

Fic | Kastor/Laurent Damen/Laurent Auguste/OFC | 39.6k

Akielos and Vere are at war, but maybe marrying the princess of Vere would help the two country finds a common ground - "The prince!" Auguste shouts. "Laurent is a prince!"

Star Crossed by @hephaest1on

Fic | Damen/Laurent | 35.2k

A story of Laurent Capulet and Damen Montague. A tale based on Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, of lovers who suffer because their families are feuding. A modern AU that leans on the themes and actions in Shakespeare's original play and plays on the issues young lovers face in a world where gossip is news.

if only to dream of you by @nv-md

Fic | Damen/Laurent | 2.4k

During negotiations with the Vaskians and Patrans, Laurent falls ill and Damen must leave him to lead their newly-forged kingdom.

After a week of quiet suffering, Damen returns to their bedchambers and attends his husband.

Ruin Your Salvation, Ruin Your Mind by pretend_i_dont_exist

Fic | Damen/Laurent | 10.2k

"I do not understand. I thought we had a truce, so I came here for peace." His voice had grown hard and dangerous. "Why?"

Silence for a moment. "You killed my brother. ------- Laurent has suffered a lot since his brother's death, but he survived to his wedding day, and he's looking forward to a quiet life with a man he appreciates. New life, new him, he decides to invite his brother' killer to the wedding to talk and make peace with himself (by murdering the guy).

In Another Life by @mosrael

Fic | Halvik/Jokaste | 43.8k

Jokaste is the pearl of Ios–beautiful, intelligent, revered–and the consort of the most powerful man in Akielos… Or so she thinks. When her chosen lover’s power is corrupted and usurped by a foreign faction, Jokaste must make the hardest decision of her life: remain in Akielos and meet a perilous fate–one she had a hand in crafting–or flee to seek her future elsewhere.

Or: when getting kidnapped, then kidnapped again turns out to be the best possible thing that could happen to a girl.

antidote by @banananamilks

Fic | Damen/Laurent | 2.7k

Auguste survives Marlas, but Damen still becomes our captive prince. Actually all three princes are kind of the captive prince. oops

Soldier, Poet, King by @bluebutter-art

Art | Damen/Laurent | Digital

Two years after the bells had rung, both Akielos and Vere celebrate the wedding of their two Kings, which coincidentally falls on Vere's Annual Autumn Festival.

Chasing Meridians; Or 26,00 Miles to Home by @not-a-coral-snake

Fic | Damen/Laurent | 17k

Laurent lives a life of quiet routine, until the day a few ill-chosen words, his uncle's malice, and his own inability to back down from a challenge see him wagering half his fortune on an impossible journey to the ends of the earth and back. Happily, or perhaps unhappily, his newly-hired valet is making the journey with him and has plenty of opinions about where they should go, what they should do, and de Vere himself.

An Around the World in Eighty Days au.

At the Drop of a Veil by @seekthemist

Fic | Damen /Laurent | 19.1k

The Battle of Marlas could have brought the relationship between Vere and Akielos to a breaking point, but it didn't. As the peace treaty is finally signed, King Aleron has a very clear idea of how to ensure the agreement is truly felt.

"Since the formal establishment of Vere and Akielos as independent reigns, there had been twelve peace treaties. The Peace of Marlas, signed by King Aleron and Theomedes-Exalted before the beginning of autumn, would be the thirteenth.

The thirteenth peace would not go down in the history of the Kingdom as an abject failure. Not if Laurent could help it."

By the Waterfall by @captaindamianos

Art | Damen/Laurent | Digital

Laurent is the god of winter, Damen is the god of summer. They only ever overlap in spring and fall. Is their love story doomed forever?

Don’t forget to kudos and comment to show our wonderful creators your love!

❤️ your mods!

#seasonsofcaprifest #seasonsofcapri 2023 #captive prince #capri #captive prince fest #capri fest #damen/laurent #jokaste #auguste/laurent #kastor/laurent #capri femslash #erasmus/kallias #erasmus/torveld #captive prince fanart #captive prince fanfic

[technicianlearner]

Kirbtober 2023 Day 24: AU

i love accidentally posting this on the AU blog instead of my main F^CK

"Yesterday, Kirby made this machine that was supposedly able to bring us to Civis Cosmosis without the help of Elfilin or the Lor Starcutter... He did leave us a way to access the machine and enter the exact coordinates to pick him up, since he's scared that it would fail and cause him to get trapped to wherever he got sent in... And since he's been missing for a few hours and not coming back, we assumed he got lost, and we managed to enter the place... but apparently we found ourselves in a world familiar to ours, and it looks like Popstar years later after our escapades... I heard Kirby here became a king from the pedestrians living there, which is weird... but we keep trying to find our Kirby, until we bump into this strange knight. He looks a lot like me, but with a different armor and looking pretty somber and intimidating, and for some reason, I feel a weird gut feeling that he looks the way he is because of something tragic... ...not going to lie, from the looks of it, he seems to have gotten himself in a messy situation before. I have a feeling that this is related to his Kirby somehow and I don't know why. ...is this what I'll probably act like if I didn't stop him during...?!"

Prompts by @paintpanic and @peachsupremeart Fused list compiled by @desultory-novice (click here for the list!) Nextgen AU created by @itsquakey

HOLY F^CK FUTURE CONTENT + LORE????? IN A KIRBTOBER ENTRY??? AND A CROSSOVER???? WOW??? WHAT'S GOING ON???

Well, I haven't revealed this yet, but by the time of Season 3 (aka the future version of the kiddos, you can see their design here), Bandana is considering the career choice of being a knight. Well, guess which AU also has Bandana as a knight, and also angsty?

...okay maybe not that angsty but Quakey did have an sorta ongoing comic that seems to rear into that category so uh here's obligatory ad for that one

This was a continuation of sorts to an old art trade I had with him, which I haven't posted - I wanted to save it for the next art trade compendium, where I post all my art trades at once (you can see the first and currently only one here)... and I wanted one more AU creator to trade on with me, so we can form the trilogy of "Tech tests an interdimensional travel gadget, gets lost, and finds himself in other universes where his career goes differently than expected" collection. Issue is... I haven't gotten time or space to figure out who I will trade with. There's so little AU creators that want to do so, I'm afraid... but ONE DAY!

Speaking of... what incident is at the final panel, and why is Bandana so terrified that he will be as somber as Pike Knight here? Well, it was the one time our beloved Kirby finally SNAPS due to something that he discovered. Apparently it got terrible to the point he killed someone, and the team barely could contain his rage... No wonder Bandana's so wary regarding Kirby, huh...?

It has been coded by the team as 'the incident'(TM), and remembering it gives everyone chills... But what incident is it anyway? we'll never know unless I somehow get to that point F^CKS SAKE LEARNER DO SOMETHING WITH YOUR DOO DOO AU

...I guess this is making Bandee reconsidering his potential job career... if this comic's even canon... i doubt it will be anyways since crossovers and stuff. i usually like keeping my stuff crossover-free

Here's the full, blurry version, down below:

#kirby #kirby au #kirby art #technician uprising #kirby planet robobot #robobot armor #bandana waddle dee #kirbtober #kirbytober #nextgenerationau #pike knight #i will kill this fucking website. #i swear IT WAS MY MAIN BLOG #I'm so sorry Quakey you'll see a double ping maybe

[swap-and-possessions]

Mile High Club

The Possessors are a tight-knit community who hosts monthly possession dares. For February, they will take their possession powers to the skies.

Read the NSFW version on my 🧡Patreon🧡.

Possessors. They are people that can take control of other people’s bodies. Most of them do it by phasing into other people’s bodies. Some take a risque portal of entry by turning themselves into slime and entering a person’s orifice. Their existence remains unknown to most people, and they like to keep it that way. Despite that, they enjoy a close community among peers where they can maintain contact with one another and even host monthly themed objectives. It’s like a mission in a video game. It gives possessors a sense of a goal, which keeps possessing random people from getting stale. 

This month’s objective is called the ‘Mile-High Club’; unlike the vanilla version, this objective among possessors tasks them with possessing a person inside a plane without getting seen. It’s difficult knowing that a plane is made up of a long hallway that allows other people to see you effortlessly. The cramped space makes it even harder. There are roaming flight attendants, and planes are now riddled with CCTV cameras. It’s a difficult challenge, and as a result, it was met with discontent from the community of possessors. Previous objectives weren't this difficult. Nevertheless, there was a small group who took the dare. Besides, the difficulty is what made this fun. 

Many expected the possessor’s forums to lay barren for the entire month of February. As the hours ticked by, posts began to pop up one by one.

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LatinoLover (OP) February 1, 2023 (1:34:56 AM GMT +0)

First, baby! While boarding the plane, I sneaked up behind this guy and possessed him. 

CockBuster (User): The plane must be miles in the air to be the Mile-High Club, idiot. IonicBond (User): Did you even read the instructions? BodySwappr1900 (Mod): You’re disqualified for not following the instructions. LatinoLover (OP): Sorry, I got too excited. I still have this guy’s massive dick, though. I’m going to the Bahamas with my equally hot boyfriend. It’s still a win for me, suckers! Space_Man2 (Mod): No worries. There is next month's objective, so stay tuned!

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BeardBeard (OP) February 1, 2023 (7:34:00 AM GMT +0)

Everyone is exaggerating airport security. People are too busy to care what’s happening in the next seat. I walked in front of this guy with the excuse of going to the bathroom, then bam! I crashed into him and possessed his body right then and there. I say, not bad. This guy’s biceps are more enormous than my fucking head. My face is too young-looking, though. A luscious beard can change that. 

RedMelon (User): Holy mama! You could crush melons with those thunder arms. DogPasta (User): Flex for us! Flex for us! BicepsConnoiseur (User): Nice guns, bro! I’d possess him if you didn’t get to take his body first. Can we body-swap after you’re done with him? Space_Man2 (Mod): Congrats! You achieved the Mile-High Club. You can see the achievement icon on your forum profile.

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Mario_Hauser1987 (OP) February 1, 2023 (6:13:12 PM GMT +0)

Men this hot should be barred by TSA for carrying explosively seductive bodies. It’s been hours in the lavatory, and I’m still in awe at my muscles. Sorry to this guy’s phone, but his gallery is now filled with pictures of himself. But first, I got to delete the first one where he caught me possessing his body. Thank goodness he didn’t struggle much, so taking over his body was fast and easy as pie.

RyanTattooParlor (User): That tattoo is art. Scan his memories and tell me where he got the ink. Penchant_Jericho (User): What are you listening at? Mario_Hauser1987 (OP): @Penchant_Jericho I don’t know yet. It might take a while before I get this dude’s memories. While I'm waiting, I'm going to check this dude's cock.  Space_Man2 (Mod): Congrats! You achieved the Mile-High Club. You can see the achievement icon on your forum profile.

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Slime-Lord01 (OP) February 2, 2023 (3:33:45 PM GMT +0)

While you ghosties are taking over single passengers, I’m out here possessing the pilot and his co-pilot. I fucking love being a slime. Another thing I love is the auto-pilot function. While everyone’s out cold from the 10-hour flight, we’re fucking like rabbits in the cockpit. Apologies to the passengers for the turbulence we’ll be having all night.

Slimerist (User): Knowing you, I bet you made the shorter guy on the right top the tall dude on the left.  Slime-Lord01 (OP): Damn right, I did. I love small tops so much.  BodyHopper (Mod): Congrats! You achieved the Mile-High Club. You can see the achievement icon on your forum profile.

#Possession #Male Possession #Male Body Possession #Body Possession #Slime

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Characters Voice Our Frustrations

March 2023 Wk 2

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying most.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Bed Friend (Sat YT, GaGa & iQIYI uncut) ep 4 of 8 - I love these two so much. King is so utterly in love with this boy. I like that this is one of the first BLs I’ve ever seen where sex is depicted as a coping mechanism. Is it healthy? No..ooo..? But it is different. It is phenomenal to see King depicted as sensitive enough to realize that something is wrong with Uea, despite his desire. (FYI all the triggers on this show forever, I’m gonna stop naming them now) 

A Boss and a Babe (Fri YouTube) ep 2 of 12 - The flirting is cute. The stalking is not. There’s a Kdrama tone to this pair’s dynamic. I don’t know why I feel that way, I just do. I mind it less this week than I did last week. Cher is a funny, kindly chatterbox and a FIERCE flirt. But not a tease, as it turns out. His poor boss does not stand a chance. Interesting pacing, this is awfully early for a kiss in a Thai BL. I like GMMTV doing these generational discussions around gayness and society, even if this version is more on the nose than Moonlight Chicken.  

The Promise (Thai WeTV & YT) ep 2 of 10 - I’m still enjoying it but I want there to be a good reason for parting with no contact for 10 YEARS, but I do not trust Thai narratives to satisfy in this regard. A drunk kiss is NOT a good enough reason. Oh HI BOSS! (What’s Zabb Man) you so pretty, I like the earrings. 

Tin Tam Jai (Tues Gaga & iQIYI) ep 2 of 12 - Oo. There’s only one bed trope. Also queer over achiever expectations. I’ve only seen DBK address this one. Well done little pulp. The tsundere seme admitting that baby boi was his security blanket was so flipping cute. But this show is leaning into taboo stepbrother stuff. So if that wigs you out, avoid. I, however, am enjoying it. Queer fam and local neighborhood kid dynamic is cute. This is more slice of life than drama, not much is happening, but I’m okay with it. 

Pastsenger (Thai Weds Gaga) 1 of 12 eps- Stars Marc (My Gear & Your Gown) and Cooper (My Engineer) in a time travel paranormal that smacks of HIStory 5. Sunshine 90s kid travels to 2022, goes to university, encounters grumpy nerd. I cannot STAND the music. Pratfall... into intentional kiss? That’s new. Of course it’s a dream. I like the 90s mentality and language rep, but I’m not sold on the show. 

Chains of Heart (Sat iQIYI) ep 4 of 10 - I guess we got the backstory? Did it explain stuff? Sort of. This is still a pretty incomprehensible show. And then a random cute (+ ALL the BL tropes) date, and then “but actually I am still in love with my dead lover.” I’m so confused by characters, plot, pacing... everything. 

Our Winter (Thai & Korea YT & TikTok under ThaiMiniSeries) eps 10-11 of 14 - they remain as TutorYimmy in the snow as they are out of it. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Our Dating Sim (Korea Thurs Viki) eps 1-2 of 8 - THIS SHOW IS GOING TO RUIN MY LIFE IT’S SO GOOD. Reunion romance featuring popular smart boy + shy art queer. It’s ridiculously adorable. What do I do? It’s SO CUTE. 

All the Liquors (Korea Thurs Gaga & Viki) eps 3-4 of 8 - I like the shy chef with the crush, but I wish we knew why he doesn’t want to sell booze. 

Jack o’Frost (Japan Fri GaGa) ep 4 of 6 - Jealousy + manic pixie dream boy + pregnant pauses + great acting = Japan doing its thing. 

It’s Airing But ...

Love Syndrome (Thai Sat WeTV) ep 2 of 10 - I’m just not into any aspect of it (except fucking Lee Long Shi and I can watch him in Tin Tem Jai) saving to binge if the ending is okay. 

Blue Sky Complex (Japan ???) 5 eps for VR - Kei Ichikawa's manga is getting a JBL adaptation. Weird distribution though, it started Feb 27 sequentially on 360 Channel (SHOCHIKUch) a VR video distribution service. Will inter-fans ever get to see this, and if it’s filmed for VR will it adapt without being overly dark and fuzzy? I have questions. But as usual, you do you Japan and we will wait (im)patiently to see if you remember the rest of the world exists. This is my preferred kind of live action yaoi, so fingers crossed:

Boyband (Thai) ep 2 of 10 - Stopped airing on YouTube, and only available in Thailand & Japan. Not sure if they’re working a distribution deal or just fucking with us.

Cafe In Love (Thai ???) 10 eps on Ch3+ - Thai pulp, about trying to save a coffee shop. FairyGodBLer came through for me, but I’m collecting to binge just in case. It’s my new policy with the grey stuff.

Destiny Seeker (Tues WeTV Thailand) 10 eps - it’s not on any WeTV I can get ahold of. Bad Buddy the pulp rebirth meets Japanese handsome host club action. Same as above.

Heesu In Class 2 (Korea Thurs unknown, I check Viki Gaga iQIYI & WeTV nada) - A gay(er) version of Sex Education. I’m still not sure this one is actually happening.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Tomorrow: Future (Thai Sun YouTube & Gaga?) 5 eps - Based on a y-novel by Faddest (En of Love - yeah I didn’t know that was based on a novel, either). About, you guessed it, an engineering student and a dentist. Maybe this will be the FOTS we were all hoping for? Fuse (the engineering student) is played by Boom from the En of Love and is kinda the same character (Field). I think we can expect this one to be soft, it’s from the 21 Day Theory people. (maybe March 19 international)

3/14 A Shoulder to Cry On (Korea Tues Viki & Gaga) 7 eps (?) - Adaptation of Dongmul's manwha, high school set, features a teasing confident gay, and a rich/poor pairing, about homophobia/gossip putting a scholarship in jeopardy. Star idols Jaehan & Yechan BOTH from OMEGA X, a first for the industry.

3/17 Unintentional Love Story (Korea Fri iQIYI) 8 eps? - Ji Won Young is intent on winning over the heart of Yoon Tae Joon as he's the boss's favorite artist. Stars idol Gongchan (maknae of B1A4).

Full list of upcoming in March 2023 is here.

2023 forthcoming BL master post. (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED)

The Department of You Said It For Us:

You speak for ALL OF US honey. (Am I the only who keeps seeing KarnNut in these roles?) The Promise 

I’d put in the gif but the giffmaking children of tumblr are sadly lacking in the unfettered genius that is Grosse Pointe Blank. 

Chains of Heart reviewing itself. 

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

GMMTV continues its 2023 Apology Tour. (Boss & Babe) 

King (Bed Friend) might be stealing Consent King title from Win. 

(last week)

Current Kpop earworm? Hidden Side from HWANG MIN HYUN (aka Minhyun of Nu’est & Wanna One RIP) - with few exceptions I’m not usually into the visual, but this is a terribly catchy song. And the poor thing has been awfully unlucky with his groups, maybe his solo and acting career will take off? 

#this week in BL #bl news #BL gossip #upcoming BL #best BL #new BL #BL reviews #Thai BL #korean bl #Taiwanese BL #Japanese BL #live action yaoi #Rakutan Viki #gagaoolala #GMMTV #Kpop earworm #Hidden Side #HWANG MIN HYUN #Minhyun #Bed Friend #A Boss and a Babe #Tin Tam Jai #Pastsenger #Chains of Heart #Our Dating Sim #All the Liquors #Jack o’Frost #A Shoulder to Cry On #Unintentional Love Story #Gongchan

[steamberrystudio]

16/07/2023 Devlog

Hallo! Time for a quick devlog here on tumblr.

Summary:

Music and SFX coded in

Flowcharts have been set up, coded, and a basic test run

The Ramble:

So in the past two weeks, as I said, I basically coded all the music and SFX for Yuu's route. Had to go grab a few new and very specific SFX for this route and was amused that I got to re-use that one slurp from Quill's route. LoL You know the one.

And I did the flowcharts.

The flowcharts are a bit of a process - I have to set up templates, then create the images, then code them (which is a process of coding the flowchart screen, declaring the variables, then going to put the variables all in the right places. 

Coding the flowchart screen involves getting the exact coordinates of every "module" in the flowchart, which is always a bit time consuming.

Anyway. It's all done now.

There are just under 1900 individual modules noted on the flowcharts across all routes. 👀

So yeah. Most of my time was spent setting those up! And now it's done.

Upcoming Weeks:

I know that for at least the next week I'll be working on coding sprite expressions. I'm actually not sure how long sprite expressions will take. There are between 6000 - 6500 expression changes per route and though I've already coded *some* of the expressions it's not really enough to be significant.

I may also do some sprite art (I have a couple of side character sprites to complete for this route)  this week as well. Coding sprite expressions is really tedious and I can't do it for 8 hours straight so usually while I'm doing expressions, I work on other things too to give myself a break.

What else I will work on may vary but expressions will be the next big undertaking.

And that is where we are with Yuu's route.

When Stars Collide:

I did say I would talk more about this game in a future update. We are in the future now so I guess I will discuss it.

So first off, I did decide I wanted to get the BGs re-done for this game. For...a variety of reasons. There's been a small hiccup in that process but I should still be getting replacements, slowly but surely.

I finished all of Daaz's route scenes and have started on Noel's scenes. I think I may revisit trying to write and complete each chapter for all characters going forward. There are some drawbacks to trying to complete entire character routes all the way to the game ending (which I did kind of expect so...)

Anyway, the game is just shy of 300,000 words at the moment.

And I'm not saying there's a new character named Kav who is one of the lab gremlins and who may or may not be the sort of character that makes you want to strangle him.

But honestly. All of that might be true.

It might be true that this character has been haunting me for a while and that even though I REALLY wanted to keep this game to 5 routes, I may need to expand it by one (1).

And that's it for both games. I will see you in a couple of weeks.

~Esh

#gilded shadows #whenstarscollide #updates #amare game #indie otome game

[traegorn]

I need to stop doing this to myself.

(A Rant Where Trae Has Written Too Many Books This Month)

So since most of you started following me because of Witchcraft or podcast stuff, I realize a lot of you don't know how much fiction writing I do.

Primarily what I've published are comics. The big one is UnCONventional (which ran from December of 2009 to December of 2019), but I also did a steampunk comic called The Chronicles of Crosarth (which I put on hiatus in like 2018 intending to come back to... but I haven't, and I make no guarantee that I will even though over 650 of the 800 planned pages are done). Crosarth is... fine? The art isn't great in either of these, but UnCONventional carries itself with the humor.

But that's all old stuff. You may be like "Trae, what have you been producing for the last four years," and the answer is "not a lot." I got major creative block with the pandemic. Peregrine Lake, the "Northwoods Gothic" comic I was supposed to launch in 2020 (which has some characters from UnCONventional in it) didn't materialize when I said it would. What storytelling energy I had went into Stormwood & Associates and The Meatgrinder (my two actual play podcasts), but that was it.

And then 2023 happened, and the juices started flowing again.

Peregrine Lake is moving forward -- but with me just doing the writing. My urge to draw has not returned, but my urge to write has. A friend of mine, Ethan Flanagan, is drawing it, and I've written the first year of comics. It likely won't launch any time soon (the artist I'm working with is busy as hell so we want to get a shit-ton of the comic done before we launch it -- we have like the first month and a half of the comic ready?). But yeah -- it's happening. I hoping for Spring, but we'll see.

The other thing though is that I've started writing, like, novels. I've always had like twenty ideas in my head, so I figured I'd give it a shot. I decided to start with the idea I cared the least about (in case I fucked it up): A queer urban fantasy story.

In the last month and a half I've written complete drafts of two different novels in this setting, and am halfway through another one... and have another one outlined.

I, uh, had some ideas.

If you're asking yourself "Hey Trae -- what the fuck? That's a lot" you need to know a few things that aren't obvious. At one point in college, in 72 hours, I produced over 40 pages of text between three research papers. All were for 300 level courses, and I may have disassociated while writing them because I frankly don't remember most of it. But, like, they were decent papers.

One of those papers is in Google Scholar.

Anyway, yeah. I haven't been sleeping great because I've been obsessively writing, but you might ask "Why didn't you just write one and get it ready to publish?" That's a great question. Because I wrote a book, and when I was 3/4 of the way through it I realized something very important: This book would make a great sequel to a book I haven't written. I've been writing book two in a series where I haven't written book one yet.

Well fuck.

So I finished that draft, and I went and wrote book one. Now that book? That book I'm getting ready to publish. I expect to have it out in January. Part of my editing process involves setting what I think is a completed, good, revised draft down for a couple of weeks and then returning to it with fresh eyes. We're in that waiting period right now.

But I still had a bunch of energy.

So the first thing I did was a revising draft on book two (the one I wrote first), but I finished that. And had more energy. And more stories in this setting kept popping up.

So I started a third book. And I'm halfway through the first draft of that book. But then I realized yesterday... shit, this isn't book three.

This is book four.

I need stuff to happen before we get to this story.

So now I've outlined the actual book three, and am working on literally both of these books at once (I'll take a break for Christmas and then go do a final edit on Book One).

And... I'm just like... why am I like this?

I need to stop myself for a few days and get more sleep.

#writing