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slutforsilverfoxes · 2 years

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If you can, can you do one where Gibbs has interest in the new girl that has join NCIS team. Please 🥹 love you.

Thank you for being my very first request 🥹 I hope you like it!!

___

Something was very wrong with Leroy Jethro Gibbs.

He was smiling, and not in that “you’re a dumbass and I’m gonna smack you” kind of way, he was genuinely smiling.

“Who are you and what have you done with our boss?” Tony asked skeptically, squinting as he scrutinized Gibbs’ face.

The silver-haired man’s visage fell into a familiar scowl as he placed his large palm against Tony’s forehead and shoved him backwards. He growled out “Get to work, DiNozzo,” before taking a seat at his desk, placing his reading glasses on the bridge of his nose and opening up a recent case file.

Tony did not, in fact, get to work, instead strutting over to McGee’s desk to solve the mystery of their fearless leader’s unusually good mood. “What do you think it is?” he whispered, leaning his elbows against Tim’s desk. “Do you think someone he hates died?”

McGee furrowed his eyebrows together as he watched Gibbs’ face break into a smile for the second time in five minutes- that had to be some sort of record. “I don’t think it’s a ‘what’, Tony,” he inclined his chin towards their boss’s desk where he was listening to you animatedly describe the latest book you were reading, “I think it’s a ‘who’ and I think it’s our new Probie.”

“Hey!” Gibbs barked out, and the two agents senior to you grinned sheepishly. “You two gonna do your jobs today or are you gonna stand around gossiping like school girls?”

“Gossip,” Tony answered cheekily as McGee simultaneously rushed out, “Work, Boss.”

Gibbs shook his head at his two subordinates before returning his gaze to you. “How come you’re so nice to me, hm?” you asked innocently as you sipped your coffee. “No hazing period with you? There’s certainly been one with those two,” you nodded toward your teammates.

“Because you’re not a pain in my ass like those two were as Probies,” he answered simply with a shrug. Because you’re intelligent and charismatic and witty and beautiful and I’d do anything to keep that smile on your face all the time.

“Oh, so you only like me because I’m useful to you,” you teased.

“Precisely,” he shot you a wolfish grin, and you rolled your eyes playfully in response. Suddenly his tone grew serious, and he instructed “Don’t do that, Y/L/N.”

Your eyes widened almost comically and you bit your lip, sufficiently chastened. “Sorry, sir.”

Jesus, he thought, don’t do that either.

“Here,” he handed you a case file, needing to get you out of his space before he said something stupid. “Run through the evidence in here and get me a profile on this dirtbag by the end of the day.”

“You’ve got it,” you smiled easily, hand brushing against his as you took the thick folder from him. His heart rate shot up embarrassingly fast and he prayed you couldn’t hear it thumping against his chest. You’d been here a mere two weeks and somehow managed to reduce the fifty-something year old tough-as-nails Marine to a schoolboy with a raging crush on his new agent.

Tony slid a note across your desk as he passed by to get some coffee from the kitchenette. Ten bucks and a round of beers says he asks you out by the end of the week.

You whipped out a pen from the top drawer of your desk, a wide grin spreading across your face as you scribbled back a response before returning the note to Tony’s desk. Game on.

#jethro gibbs #jethro gibbs x reader #ncis imagine #ncis #reader request #jethro gibbs x y/n #leroy jethro gibbs #leroy jethro gibbs imagine #jethro gibbs imagine #leroy jethro gibbs x y/n #leroy jethro gibbs x reader

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mindfogger · 1 year

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mind's 2022 reading round up recs... pt. 2

featuring lots of fandom hopping and lots of reading... find pt.1 here

July: 742,627 words read, 50 hours

Most Memorable Read: a sequence that you never learned by annataylor

Star Trek: AOS, Kirk/Spock, Fake Marriage & Kid AU

Normally I don't like kidfic but I'm a sucker for fake marriage aus and goddamn did this one deliver. The pining...wowwwwww, and the world building just hit right.

Honorable Mentions: time to come home, little one (Dark SBI, Runaway Tommy, Dark Fluffy) by inspire4044 Epiphany (The West Wing, Hurt/Comfort, Missing Scene - warning for reference to suicide) by Speranza

August: 1,221,073 words read, 81 hours

Most Memorable Read: moonflower by Magnolia35

The Sandman, Dreamling...

How careful Hob is in this, the hurt/comfort?? The non-sexual intimacy??? it's all just so *chef's kiss*

Honorable Mentions: The Raven and The Hawk (Avengers, Clint/Coulson, God/Reincarnation AU) by sunryder Mercy Is Not Mine To Give (SBI, Morally Dark, Murder/Serial Killers) by Dragonire

September: 977,656 words read, 65 hours

Most Memorable Read: Fragments by sparxwrites

Red vs. Blue, Tucker/Washington

Soulmates... need I say more? I'm a sucker for soulmate aus and adding in the hurt/comfort & angst inherent in rvb... this was a re-read but it hits just as good as the first time.

Honorable Mentions: Accidental Heroism (The Batman, Bruce-centric, Humor) by nighhtwing Afterimage (Sandman, Dreamling, Hurt/Comfort & Recovery) by ScribeofArda

October: 980,618 words read, 65 hours

Most Memorable Read: Bottom of the Ninth by Waldo

NCIS Dinozzo/Gibbs... NCIS is a comfort show for me in many ways since I watch it with my dad so I was watching a few episodes while in Korea.

Featuring some really great not-ooc Anthony and Jethro characterization and a really sweet Jethro-pov exploration of their early relationship.

Honorable Mentions: Things Fall Apart (Valerian 2017, Laureline/Valerian, Hurt/Comfort & Protectiveness) by sospes Damsel (Valerian 2017, Laureline/Valerian, Kidnapping) by sospes

November: 1,116,006 words read, 74 hours

Most Memorable Read: A Cup of Sugar (What Neighbors Are For) by odymcbea

Emerald Duo are veterans who are neighbors to Crimeboys...

God, wow it's all about love, isn't it? I love how carefully their familial relationships are handled and the humanity in this story really gets to me.

Honorable Mentions: Be Gay, Do Crimes, Turn in Your Homework (The Old Guard, Booker/Nile, Pining & College AU) by xiaq and i'm nothing (SBI, Werewolf & Hanahaki Disease) by Radio Silencer

December: 1,345,543 words read, 90 hours

×× note: this month I only read The King: Eternal Monarch fic. Only.

Most Memorable Read: Fire on Fire (Would Normally Kill Us) by www_gov_uk

The King: Eternal Monarch, Jo Yeong/Lee Gon in a universe where they never met before/didn't grow up together. I'm also already loving the series' continuation.

The realism, the world building, the characters, I cannot rave about this enough. Yeong's relationship to his family and his developing relationship with Gon just. Wow. Also these dumbasses need to communicate more <3

Honorable Mentions: which will bloom most constantly? (K:EM, OT3 - Yeong/Gon/Tae-eul, Developing Polyam) by itspointydumbass the stars are filming us for no one (K:EM, Yeong/Sinjae & Others, Hurt/Comfort, AMAZING Characterization) by drivingsideways & rainhat

Year Totals: 15,147,132 words read, 1010 hours

...Totalling 781 fics read, about 65 works a month, 138 pages a day 95 fics over 40,000 words (about the length of a short novel) ... 25 fics over 100,000 words

About 11.53% of my year was spent reading

I had difficulties deciding how to count WIPs that were updating throughout the year but eventually I managed to keep track of the difference in word count between the last time i read it and the new word count. Not sure if I'll keep it like that next year. I ended up reading 71% completed works, partially because it was such a pain to calculate and keep up with WIPs in this system, partially because it's a habit for me to filter them out automatically.

I was all over the place in terms of fandom in the second half of the year but Jan-June I read mostly MCYT/SBI fics. From July-Dec, only September had MCYT as its top fandom.

I tagged everything as one of four genres: Fluff, Angst, Smut, Dark. I read 280 Angst - 35% of fics, 202 Fluff, 128 Smut, and 170 Dark fics.

In terms of the tags I read, I manually tagged all my fics when I entered them and my most-read tag was Hurt/Comfort. Second most-read tag was Found Family. Following that was some smut tags I had... may be a data error because if there was smut I made sure to tag it right but I didn't tag small instances of other things in that ff.

Also, I only added some tags later on, like Slow Burn & PWP, so they don't appear at all in earlier entries. For 2023, I've kept a lot of these tags and added more, especially to cover the romance front since I wasn't reading much rom in the beginning of 2022.

I really liked this project, it encouraged me to finish the fics that I read. It also made me read & ao3 bookmark more mindfully, I think. I'm really interested to see the difference from this year to next year.

#mindspeaks #fic recs #fanfiction rec list #fanfiction review #star trek fanfiction #the sandman fanfic #if any authors want to be tagged or removed just send me a msg!!#2023

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sirensatyr · 8 months

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youtube

^Scene inspired by this song^

Everyone Leaves

"He's the complete opposite of me... he's selfless while I am selfish. I...I stopped letting people in, and I stopped being vulnerable. Because sooner or later they leave...eventually everyone leaves." Her voice is soft, measured, and somber. Azrael turns their head to look at the woman. Her eyes were staring ahead, the light in her eyes fading, darkening with the thoughts of before...with the past regrets and loss of those once loved.

"Naida told me once...that love is for the living, but I neither live nor die. In fact, I don't quite know what I am. Am I even still human? Even just a little?" Her tone shakes with the uncertainty and Death turns away to look down at the ground.

"Naida is wrong, and so are you. Love is just as much for the living as for the dead, I know that much. As for what you are, it doesn't matter as much as how you feel inside. The question was never about your deservance of love but rather if you can still feel it...and with a speech like that, I can say with absolute certainty that despite your immortality you are still very much human at heart," Azrael responds evenly, their eyes watching the dust on the ground begin to kick up with the start the evening winds. They stand straight then and begin to walk away.

"Even with all that, what is the point if I'm just going to end up alone in the end?" Beltane murmurs to herself. Azrael turns back to the siren with a hint of openness that Bel had never seen before.

"Who says you're going to end up alone?" They say. At that moment a cry breaks the heavy mood and both figures turn towards the sound. A bit in the distance, the glow of a campfire can be seen with three figures around it. The sound had come from Jethro, Beaky and Aulifr were laughing about something, possibly at his expense. Azrael turned back to Beltane with a pointed look.

"You couldn't get rid of those dumbasses if you tried," Azrael smirks then, before turning away and heading back to the warm glow of the embers. Beltane watches the group from afar, warmth blooming in her chest. Jethro looks up from what he's doing and catches her gaze. A wide grin spreads over his face as he holds up his hand in a hesitant wave. She returns his smile surprisingly easy as she returns his half wave with one of her own. She'd always been a pessimist, even since before she was Beltane, but in this moment...as she notices the light catching in Jethros hair, listens to Beaky's boistrous laugh, sees the way Aulifr moves his arms animatically when he talks, and even when Azrael frowns disapprovingly as Beaky downs another neon glowing (probably toxic) drink, she can't help but feel a spark of hope in her heart that this time...maybe this time, she's found the ones who would stay.

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we-as-in-you-and-me · 4 years

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My slow ass brain just figured out why the episode is called "The North Pole". The first time I watched it I was so focused on the dialogues that I didn't notice anything else.

#ncis #the north pole #17x10 #ziva david #leroy jethro gibbs #i'm a dumbass

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minisqwish-draws-things · 5 years

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Based on this text post

#art by minisqwish #drawing #comic #jethro #i spent way too long on this #but i couldnt help but imagine jethro doing this #he dumbass #i love him #my ocs

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djbunnie · 2 years

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married to a veteran AU

what if Raven was as quiet, shy, soft spoken person who married Damian who is a Veteran he's confident, loud, and it doesn't give two shits about anything personality. imagine if they have kids in their parenting techniques is completely different from each other.

~Raven talks to their youngest before the kids game~

Raven: “I know you're nervous about your game today. But don't be okay. You're gonna do great and no matter what I love you.”

6 yr old Dominic: “love you too mommy!”

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~Veteran Damian talks to his eldest twin before the game~

Veteran Damian: *serious* “don't embarrass me today. You've two been playing like shit all week at practice. So you'll be lucky if you get any game time. But if you do play oh my god you better win because if you don't *whisper* Don't come home.”

17 yrs old Danial and Jethro: “YES SIR!”

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Raven: *soft tone* “young man i need you to get out of that room”

14 yr old Alexander: *annoyed* “No, I'm not coming out!”

Raven: “Sweetie don't make me get dad.”

14 yr old Alexander: *panic* “Mom please don't get dad.”

Raven: “I have no choice, HONEY!”

Veteran Damian: *carrying battering ram* “You should have listened to your mother dumbass, that uh door is coming down boy.”

14 yr old Alexander: *pleading* “Dad, let's talk about this!”

Veteran Damian: *sarcastic* “yeah you want to talk it out, okay yeah we can talk it out. What’s uh, what's on your mind huh? Yeah c'mon.” *swing battering ram*

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Raven: “okay boys after playing tidy up your room”

11 Authur: “aww do we have to!”

Raven: *giggles* “yes, remember a clean house makes a happy house”

10 Amadeus: “Okay.”

Authur and Amadeus quickly went to their bedroom and pushed all the mess under the bed. and went back down playing video games

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Veteran Damian: “what the hell are you two doing?”

Author: “putting the dirty dishes in the dishwasher.”

Veteran Damian: “don't be lazy, wash those dishes by hand.” *leaves*

Amadeus: *whispers* “that's stupid what's the whole point having a dishwasher if we can't use it.”

Author: *whispers* “yeah dad is mean and dumb.”

Veteran Damian: “WHAT!!!”

Amadeus and Author: *panic* “NOTHING!!!” *washing dishes by hand*

#damirae

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running2redemption · 3 years

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Munday Meme: OK KO

The first character I first fell in love with: Unsurprisingly, Venomous.

The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: Boxman, who is actually my favorite character.

The character everyone else loves that I don’t: I... can't think of a character I dislike. Again.

The character I love that everyone else hates: Ernesto and Jethro are great and need more love.

The character I used to love but don’t any longer: Again, that would require me to have a character I dislike.

The character I would totally smooch: Boxman

The character I’d want to be like: Also Boxman

The character I’d slap: Venomous, I can like him and acknowledge he's a dumbass.

A pairing that I love: Voxman, Lasersparks, Fink/Dendy, KO/Dendy

A pairing that I despise: Fink/Venomous

#ooc #munday

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nico-drives-badly · 4 years

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Pizza Delivery - DMC Edition

(A Parody of the Krusty Krab Pizza Episode from Spongebob)

[Episode begins in the Devil May Cry main office in Red Grave City, where Dante is messing around with a mop and bucket instead of actually cleaning the chairs]

Lady: Hurry up with those chairs, Dante! It's after closing! And I'd LIKE to go HOME!

[The phone rings.]

Dante: I GOT IT I GOT IT— [leaps for the phone, but Vergil answers it first, and Dante falls onto the floor]

Vergil: Hello? [listening to voice on the other end] Sir, I think you have the wrong num—

[Lady snatches the phone from Vergil]

Lady: Devil May Cry. How can I help you? [customer explains pizza order over the phone] Pizza? [suddenly remembers that Dante still owes her money and her eyes turn into dollar signs] Of course we have pizza!

Vergil: Lady—?!

Lady: Our delivery boy will bring it riiiight over. [cheerfully hangs up the phone]

Vergil: [flabbergasted] But Lady, we don't serve pizza!

[Lady grabs a leftover pizza box from Dante’s fridge and heats it up in the microwave. Then she slaps a “Devil May Cry” sticker over the original label.]

Vergil: [even more flabbergasted] We don't deliver!!

Lady: We don't deliver, but you do. [hands Vergil the pizza and starts to walk away]

Vergil: [runs after Lady] Can't you just get Dante to do it?!

Lady: Great idea! Take him with you.

[Dante finally stands up and slides over next to Vergil, giving him a troll-faced grin]

Vergil: [shouts after Lady as she departs] That's NOT what I had in mind!

[Scene changes to outside, where the Devil May Cry van is parked. Dante is checking the car while Vergil sits in the passenger seat.]

Dante: Front end...check! Antenna...check! Bumper...check! Bumper sticker... [gestures to bumper sticker that says "I Brake For Nuthin’, Deal With It Assholes"] ...check!

Dante: Tire pressure... [uncaps the tire pressure and puts his mouth in it like the dumbass he is, causing him to take in WAY too much air and start coughing and sputtering in Vergil’s face] ...check! All right, everything looks good!

Dante: [climbs into the driver’s seat] We're really making history here, Vergil. That lucky customer is (technically) going to get the first Devil May Cry Pizza ever! AND I can finally pay back Lady! Man, this is great. Why did I never think of this before?

Vergil: Whatever. Let’s just get this over with already.

[Dante starts to turn the ignition key, but then pauses suddenly.]

Dante: Wait a minute...I can't drive!

Vergil: What do you mean you can’t?! You literally drive a motorcycle!

Dante: Exactly! I only know how to drive a motorcycle! I never learned how to drive a van!

Vergil: [groans] Come on, Dante. It can’t be THAT different. Besides, it’s just around the corner.

Dante: Well, yeah, but—

Vergil: Just do what you do on a motorcycle.

Dante: Well, okay... [looks down at the gear shift and his mind goes completely blank] ...Wait, don't tell me.

Vergil: Back it up.

Dante: Huh?

Vergil: Back. It up.

Dante: Right. Back...it up... [grabs the stick shift and starts to pull it down, but he hesitates]

Vergil: Back it up!

Dante: OKAY OKAY!

Vergil: Shift into reverse, you fool!

Dante: ...Reverse? OH YEAH YEAH, REVERSE!

[Dante looks down at the gear shift, but the letters turn into random Japanese symbols in his mind.]

Vergil: BACK IT UP!

Dante: [suddenly shifts the car into reverse and floors it out of panic] Backing uUUUPPP! BACKING UP!!

Vergil: [desperately tries to grab the wheel from Dante as the van zips backwards at top speed] Give me the wheel, Dante! Give! Me! The! Wheel!!

Dante: Backing up! Backing up!

[The van roughly goes over a series of bumps]

Dante: Ba-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-ack-i-i-i-i-i-ng u-u-u-up!

[Th van starts to spin in circles, leaving Dante and Vergil screaming.]

[The next morning, the van can be seen slowly emerging over the horizon, miles and miles away from their original location.]

Dante: Backing up...backing up...backing up...

[The van runs out of fuel and sputters to a stop in the middle of nowhere.]

Dante: ...Backing up.

Vergil: Well. You backed up. And you know what? [gestures to the empty fuel gauge] I think we're out of gas! And you know what else? [steps out of the van and screams into the abyss] WE’RE IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE!

Dante: [climbs out of the van with the pizza box in hand] And you know what else else? I think the pizza's getting cold.

Vergil: [sarcastically] OH, and the PIZZA’S cold? Oh, the pizza's COLD. Oooooh nooo, NOT the PIZZA! Oh, how could this get any WORSE—?!

[Vergil DTs and kicks the van’s bumper out of sheer frustration, which somehow fills the van back up with gasoline. The van starts to drive away into the distance without them, leaving Vergil standing in his SDT with his jaw hung open in shock]

Dante: Well...at least we can still deliver it on foot.

[Vergil narrows his eyes dangerously at Dante, but he reverts to his human form without another word.]

[Scene changes to Dante and Vergil walking on the side of the empty road. Vergil is griping with every step he takes, while Dante is singing terribly at the top of his lungs.]

Vergil: Ow, ow, ow...

Dante: 🎶 The DMC Pizza! Is the pizza! For you and me! The DMC pizza! Is the pizza—

Vergil: [interrupts Dante’s song in a mocking tone] 🎶—AND MY FEET ARE KILLING ME!

[Suddenly, Vergil trips over Dante, who is lying on the ground for hell-knows-what reason.]

Vergil: Dante? What are you doing?!

Dante: [rubbing the ground expertly] It's an old pioneer trick. I saw it in a movie once.

Vergil: Dante, this is no time for...!

Dante: [aggressively shushes Vergil] It's working!

Vergil: What is it?

Dante: Truck! Sixteen wheels! [points to an approaching semi-truck in the distance] Now I can show you how the pioneers hitchhiked.

[Dante whips out the Dr. Faust Hat and starts dancing in the road like an idiot.]

Dante: [weird hitchhiking noises] WheEeEeEeE eeeeeeeEEEE, yoooOOOOOUUUUuuuUuu WUWUWUUWEHEHEHE...

[Vergil sits on a rock and rattles a wooden spoon with an annoyed look on his face.]

Dante: [more hitchhiking noises] UUuuUuuUuAAYAYAYAYAYA GLGLGLGLGLGLGLGLG—

Truck Driver: [noticing Dante in the road] Crashin' frashin' break dancers! [honks his horn aggressively]

Vergil: He's stopping! He's stopping!

Truck Driver: [CLEARLY NOT STOPPING]

[Vergil suddenly realizes that he's not stopping and pulls Dante out of the way before he gets run over. The truck zooms past them, covering them in roadside dirt. Vergil glares scathingly at Dante, who gives him a nervous smile.]

[Scene changes to Dante and Vergil walking against a heavy wind.]

Dante: [still singing badly] 🎶 The DMC pizza! Is the pizza! For you and me! The DMC pizza—

[The wind changes direction and blows Vergil’s hair forward. Grimacing, Vergil tries to slick his hair back into place, but the wind messes it up again, much to his annoyance. Finally, Vergil just gives up and goes into SDT so he doesn’t have to deal with it.]

Dante: [doesn’t even notice and keeps singing] 🎶—is the pizza! Free de-li-ve-ry! The DMC pizza! Is the pizza! Very ta-a-sty!!

[All of a sudden, a random Qliphoth root springs up out of nowhere and grabs the pizza box. Dante refuses to let go, however, and he gets flung back and forth helplessly in the air as he tries and fails to fight it off.]

Vergil: Will you let go of that stupid pizza, already?

Dante: [still being flung around in the air] I can't! It’s for the customer!

Vergil: WHO CARES about the customer?

Dante: I DO!

Vergil: Well, I DON’T!

[The wind stops suddenly, as does the Qliphoth root, and Dante gasps at Vergil in disgust.]

Dante: D:< Vergil!

[The wind immediately picks back up again, and the Qliphoth root resumes flinging Dante around helplessly in the air.]

Vergil: Dante, we don’t have time for this foolishness! Let go of the pizza!

Dante: NO!

[The Qliphoth root sends Dante barreling straight into Vergil, knocking him off his feet.]

Vergil: OW! [grabs onto Dante’s legs as the Qliphoth continues to drag him around] Dante! Let go of the pizza!

Dante: No! It's for the customer!

Vergil: DANT-AYYY! LET GO OF THE PIZZA!

[The Qliphoth root lifts them high up in the air.]

Dante: NO!!

Vergil: DANTE— [looks down and suddenly realizes that they’re dangling over 100 ft in the air] HANG ONTO THE PIZZAAAA!

[The Qliphoth root finally lets go of them and flings them in a random direction, sending them both flying. Dante screams and falls flat on his face. Vergil technically could’ve broken his fall using his SDT wings, but he doesn’t think of that and instead falls flat on his face next to Dante, reverting to his human form in the process.]

Vergil: [slowly gets up and looks around in confusion] H-hey...where's the road? Where's the road?! [a random tumbleweed rolls by, sending Vergil into a panicked stupor while running around in circles] WE’RE DOOMED! HOW ARE WE GOING GET HOME NOW? WHICH WAY DO WE GO?

[Dante slowly gets up while Vergil continues to run around like an idiot.]

Vergil: WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO? THERE’S NO ROAD HERE!

Dante: Hm... [points in a seemingly random direction] I think town's this way.

Vergil: [stops dead in his tracks and rolls his eyes at Dante] Oh, don't tell me, Jethro. The pioneers?

Dante: That's right. [gestures to a mossy rock] Moss always points to civilization.

Vergil: That way? That way there?

Dante: [nods]

Vergil: So, let me get this straight...YOU think that WE should go THAT way?

Dante: [nods again] Yep.

Vergil: [turns around and starts walking in the opposite direction] Well, then I'm going this way.

Dante: Huh? Verg, wait! I don't think—

Vergil: Trust me, I KNOW where I am going.

[The camera pans out to show that Red Grave City was clearly in the direction Dante pointed towards, which means that Vergil definitely has no idea where he’s going.]

[Scene changes once again to Dante and Vergil walking, while Dante continues to belt out the DMC Pizza song at the top of his lungs.]

Dante: 🎶 The DMC pizza! Is the pizza! Absolu-tive-a-ly!

Dante: [beatboxing] 🎶 Boomboomboomboom PIZZA powpowkakachihchih PIZZA chihchihchoopapaaaaa—

Dante: [walking backwards while beatboxing] 🎶 Dododododo PIZZA dododoododododo PIZZA dodododooddodoooo—

Dante: [with soul] 🎶 D-M-C-aAaAayy-aaaAAAAaaAayy-aAaAayyy pi-zzaaaa! Is the pizza, ye-aaah, for you and— [awful-sounding falsetto that causes Vergil to visibly flinch] 🎶 MEE-EEE-EEeeEee-EEEEEEEE!

Dante: [dragging his feet tiredly] Pizza...for...you...the DM and...the C...and the... pizza insiiiide...

[Eventually, Dante and Vergil both collapse onto the ground in exhaustion.]

Dante: Verg...we gotta eat something.

Vergil: [sarcastically] I heard in times of hardship, the pioneers would eat tumbleweed.

[Dante grabs a nearby tumbleweed and starts eating it savagely, chucking the pizza box aside. Thankfully, Vergil catches the pizza box right before it falls on the ground.]

Vergil: [notices how desperate Dante is and cracks a mischievous smile] No, no, wait...maybe it wasn't tumbleweed.

[Dante yelps and spits out the tumbleweed in disgust.]

Vergil: Maybe it was sand...no, mud—!

Dante: [sits up suddenly and grabs Vergil by the shirt collar] Gimme the pizza, Verg!

Vergil: [holds the pizza box defensively] WAIT I REMEMBER NOW IT WAS TUMBLEWEED!

Dante: Give me that pizza!

Vergil: No! We promised Lady that we’d give it to the customer!

Dante: OH, SO NOW YOU CARE ABOUT THE CUSTOMER!

Vergil: Dante, I am not going to risk MY life explaining to Lady that we can’t pay her back all because YOU got a little hungry! That pizza is for the customer, and that’s final!

[Dante pouts broodingly for a moment, but then he comes up with an idea...]

Dante: [cunning voice] Yeah, you're right. It's for the customer.

Vergil: [slightly confused] Uh...yeah...

Dante: Well, maybe we better check on it and make sure it's okay.

Vergil: [looks down at the pizza box reluctantly] Well...

Dante: [starts to open the box] C’mon, just a peek—

Vergil: [quickly snaps the box shut] OKAY IT’S FINE.

Dante: No, wait! I think I saw something!

[Dante opens the box fully, revealing a very appetizing pizza.]

Dante: Oh...nope. I was wrong. It looks okay. [nudges Vergil] Sure is a fiiine looking pizza, don’t you think? You definitely don’t have food like that down in Hell, huh?

Vergil: [falters] Yeah, you...certainly don’t...

Dante: And what’s that? Is that the cheese?

Vergil: [lip twitches slightly] Yeah...

Dante: And the pepperoni?

Vergil: [mouth starts watering] Yeah...!

Dante: [grins as Vergil starts savoring] Oh, looks good, huh?

[Vergil, suddenly realizing what Dante is trying to do, quickly snaps out of it and slams the pizza box closed.]

Vergil: WAIT A SECOND! I know what you're trying to do, Dante! I'm not letting you eat the pizza!

Dante: Give me the pizza, Vergil!

Vergil: No!

Dante: Don't make me take it away from you!

Vergil: Get AWAY!

[Vergil starts to run away while Dante chases after him.]

Dante: Get back here, Vergil!

Vergil: NO!

Dante: VERGIL!

Vergil: NO!

Dante: VER-GILLL!

Vergil: NO!

[Eventually, Dante starts to run out of energy and collapses due to exhaustion, while Vergil is still running around.]

Vergil: NO! NO—

[Vergil trips over Dante suddenly, falling flat on his face and dropping the pizza. Dante snatches the pizza while Vergil is distracted, but Vergil quickly pins him down and points Yamato threateningly at his chest.]

Vergil: Dante, I am NOT letting you eat this pizza! And you are going to hand it over to me, one way or another!

Dante: [points at something in the distance] Look, Verg, we're saved!

Vergil: Yeah, sure, we're saved. Now GIVE ME THE PIZZA!

Dante: No really, Verg! We’re SAVED! [starts jumping up and down in excitement] We're saved! We're saaaaaved!

Vergil: WILL YOU CUT THAT OUT?

Dante: [chanting to a conga beat] 🎶Sa-a-aved, sa-aved! Sa-a-aved, sa-aved! Saved, saved! Saved, saved! Savedsavedsavedsaved saved, saved!

Dante: [runs towards a boulder in the distance while still chanting] 🎶Savedsavedsavedsavedsaved, SAVED! Savedsavedsavedsavedsaved, SAVED! YES, we are SAVED!

Vergil: [furiously] But that’s just a stupid boulder!

Dante: It's not just a boulder...it’s a rock! A ROOOOCK!! It's a BIG! BEAUTIFUL! OLD! ROCK!! [rubs the side of the boulder affectionately] Ohhhh, the pioneers used to ride these babies for MILES! And it's in GREAT shape!!

Vergil: DANT-AYYY! WILL YOU FORGET THE STUPID PIONEERS? Haven’t you ever noticed that there are NONE of them left?! That's because they were LOUSY hitchhikers, ate TUMBLEWEED—

Dante: Actually, it was you who said they ate tumbleweed...

Vergil: [points Yamato at Dante again to shut him up] —and took directions from ALGAE!

[Dante climbs onto the boulder while Vergil continues to rant.]

Vergil: And nooow, you're telling me that they thought they could DRIVE...

[Dante somehow shifts the boulder into drive and runs over Vergil.]

Vergil: [flattened against the ground] ...rocks? [gets up and runs desperately after Dante] HOLD ON THERE, JETHRO!

[Scene changes to Dante parking the boulder in front of the customer’s house, with Vergil sitting on the rock next to him.]

Dante: [jumps off of the boulder and runs to the door] I cannot WAIT to see the look on our customer’s face! [excitedly rings the doorbell]

Customer: [answers door] Yeah?

Dante: Congratulations, sir. Your Devil May Cry Pizza is here!

Customer: Wow, thanks! I've been dying for one of these. I— [face falls suddenly] Where's my drink?

Dante: [confused] ...What drink?

Customer: [angry] My drink? My diet Dr. Pepper?? Don't tell me you forgot my drink!!

Dante: [fishes the order out of his pocket and checks it] But, you didn't order any—!

Customer: HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO EAT THIS PIZZA WITHOUT MY DRINK?!

Dante: [dumbfounded] B-but Lady...! I-if I don’t pay her back, I’ll have t—!

Customer: Didn't you ever once think of the customer? [throws the pizza at Dante’s face] You call yourself a delivery boy?! Well, I ain't buying! [rudely slams the door]

[Dante walks back over to Vergil with a forced smile on his face.]

Dante: [eye twitches dangerously] He didn’t take the pizza.

Vergil: I’ll take care of this.

[Vergil grabs the pizza from Dante, storms up the stairs to the customer's house, and pounds on the door furiously.]

Customer: [answers the door again] Another one? Look, I told your friend over there, I ain't paying for that!

Vergil: [unsheathing Yamato] Well, this one's on the HOUSE!

[Camera sharply cuts to Dante, who flinches suddenly. Judgement Cut and Summoned Sword noises can be heard off-camera, as well as a petrified human scream, before Vergil finally walks back over to Dante, visibly covered in blood and holding the customer’s wallet in his hands.]

Dante: Did you...change his mind?

Vergil: [returns Yamato to its sheath while grinning smugly] Yep, he sure did. Ate the whole thing in one bite.

Dante: [counts the money in the wallet and perks up immediately] No drink?

Vergil: Nope. [jumps up onto the rock] Now, take me home.

Dante: [hops onto the rock and starts revving it up excitedly] Are you kidding? We have just enough time to make it back to Lady!

[Dante backs up the rock, and they instantly arrive at the Devil May Cry main office.]

Vergil: [eyes twitches dangerously] We‘re—?!

[Episode ends with the sound of Yamato impaling Dante’s chest as the screen quickly cuts to black.]

#devil may cry #shitpost #crack fic #incorrect quotes #source: spongebob squarepants #nico writes

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pikachupadilla · 1 year

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Jethro: Joel and I don't have pet names for each other

Maxi: I see. Jeth, what do bees make?

Jethro: I can't remember.

Jethro: Darling, what do bees make?

Joel: It's honey, dear.

#source: tumblr #incorrect bondi rescue quotes #bondi rescue #bondi beach #bondi lifeguards #jethro james #joel bevilacqua #shitpost #dumbass jethro

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supercasey · 4 years

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Nomad of Nowhere Modern+Twins AU Notes/Ideas

Can y’all tell I got bored and can’t stop thinking about this sort of AU? Prepare for some serious bullshit. (Putting this under a cut because I’m merciful)

((El Rey is gonna be called Adrian in this AU, as I saw someone on Tumblr (emery-night) suggest it as a possible name awhile back, and since one of my brother's middle names is Adrian, I had to.))

Benjamin, Annabeth, and Adrian are all polyam, but they're not exactly the most “picture perfect” polyam relationship; they all tend to argue quite a bit, but at the end of the day, they all still care very deeply for each other.

Ben and Adrian went to college together, and were roommates through all four years they went; they started dating/hooking up about halfway through freshman year.

Annabeth: Oh my god, they were roommates.

After their fourth year of college ended, Adrian had to go back home to run his father's business, which meant he couldn't date Ben anymore, as his dad was extremely homophobic. Ben was heartbroken, but understood that Adrian didn't want to end things either, so he accepted it and moved on with his life, making sure to keep in touch with Adrian through social media and by calling/texting him every so often.

About two years later, Benjamin ran into Annabeth for the first time. Anna was working on her family's farm at the time, but once she fell for the city boy, she packed her bags and ran off to start a new life with him.

They had the twins within their first year of marriage, which was… chaotic, to say the fucking least. Thankfully they managed well enough, but it was still somewhat of an ordeal to get through together. ((Thankfully in this AU, Ben isn’t running from any bounty hunters/his ex, so he doesn’t ever lash out at Anna and lose her.))

Nearly five years after the twins were born, Adrian just kinda… showed up on their doorstep, looking frazzled and freaked the fuck out. They of course let him come inside, and after finding out that he had been cut off upon his father discovering he was gay, the couple let him stay with them from then on.

Pretty soon, the trio was officially polyam, both Adrian and Anna dating Ben, but not each other. They’re both really good friends, though! Ben loves his husband and wife so fucking much.

Since he grew up in such a privileged environment, Adrian really struggles with getting used to living like his partners (they aren’t necessarily poor, but they aren’t rich either), but he settles soon enough into working at an office building, where he constantly is climbing the corporate ladder and becoming quite the businessman.

Annabeth settled really quickly into her job as an architect, and works on designing houses in an office building about an hour away from the family house (which she and Ben built together right before they got married, adding another floor after Adrian moved in with them).

Benjamin, surprisingly enough, is a stay at home dad, and after all the kids reach school age, he starts doing part-time handyman jobs around town. Primarily though, he's still mostly a stay at home dad, and does a lot of the housework.

Adrian can't cook for S H I T. He set the oven in his and Ben's dorm on fire no less than three times, and also accidentally blew up the microwave at one point. After he moves in, Ben is quick to ban him from any sort of cooking; Adrian doesn't even bother arguing with him over it.

Anna can cook a little. She's usually pretty tuckered out after work, so she rarely cooks dinner, but when she does it's a stew that's fucking incredible.

Ben is a monster in the kitchen, having learned how to cook at a very young age, and he takes great pride in cooking nice meals for the family almost every night.

Both Ben and Anna were really worried the twins wouldn’t like Adrian, but he gets along with them really well, especially since he came into their lives so really early on; when they’re about seven, Skout asks who Adrian is to her parents, and after being told he’s in love with Pappy and best friends with Mama, she starts referring to Adrian as Daddy/Dad, Hunter doing the same through sign language/writing note to him. Adrian cries from happiness.

Also, because I love her, and because I honestly think Ben would never obey the “have as few kids as possible” rule most wizard's follow in the Twins AU, when the twins are about six or seven, their parents have another kid; a little girl they name Melinda.

(Truth be told, Ben and El Rey aren't 100% certain who fathered her, but they always say it was the other guy who did it. Anna doesn't really care, so long as they both treat her youngest daughter well, which they of course do!)

Melinda is a bit of a terror as a young child, and is constantly pestering her older siblings. Skout and her get along better once Skout hits high school age (before then, they argue constantly), but before that Hunter and Melinda are super close. After Melinda hits 13-14 though, they don’t quite have a “falling out”, but she gets her own friends at school and doesn’t want to hang out with Hunter as much anymore; this devastates Hunter, but he’s so freaking glad she has friends that he’s never going to tell her that.

Okay, onto the twins:

Hunter and Skout are practically glued to the fucking hip all throughout their early childhood; Hunter follows his sister around because no one wants to try communicating with the mute kid, and Skout loves hanging out with her brother despite other kids being weirded out by him.

Skout used to be a total tomboy/rebel as a preteen. Seriously, she was constantly in and out of the principal's office, mainly because she got into fights protecting her bro.

By the time Toth moves to town at the very start of 9th grade and meets her, Skout is almost a completely different person by then, having gotten more invested in reading/school than getting into fights.

The first time Toth sees some ex-bullies from Skout's middle school run for their lives upon seeing who Toth thought was just a sweet, innocent redhead who loves reading, Toth knows she's in love.

Toth does NOT like Hunter at first, mostly because the first time she met him, he refused to let her borrow a pencil and she took that to mean he was an asshole; truth is, he only had the one, but had trouble communicating that to her at the time, resulting in her not quite “bullying” him, but… okay, she bullied him, but after getting with Skout, she lays off and even apologizes to him for being so mean.

Toth and Hunter eventually start getting along after Toth and Skout get together, but Hunter definitely teases/messes with her on occasion because he thinks it's funny. Toth is mostly neutral to this and figures it's justified payback for how she used to treat him.

Where Skout has Toth as a friend at school (and I guess that total asshole “Red Manuel” or whatever the fuck he’s calling himself who constantly pesters them both), Hunter is friends with a trio of kids nicknamed “The Three Amigos.”

The three amigos (Null, Santi, and Jethro) have all known each other since kindergarten. Null got to go to school early due to his intelligence (the kid is insanely fucking smart), while Jethro and Santi are the same age, and they all became friends because their moms all know each other and made them hang out a lot as young kids.

The school's mascot is the “Dandy Lion” and Red Manuel is the dumbass who agreed to wear the suit for school events. He thinks it makes him a celebrity; it definitely doesn't.

Omg, I almost fucking forgot about Don Paragon.

Don Paragon considers himself to be a theatre star of some kind, because he literally only got the lead part once in a middle school play, and he has yet to stop bragging about it.

Don's also a huge fucking bully, and has been harassing both Hunter and Skout since elementary school; he's actually one of the people Skout beat the crap out of back when she didn’t care about holding back, so he low-key fears her, but he'll pick on Hunter whenever he can catch him alone; luckily, Hunter doesn't end up alone very often, thanks to the three amigos, as well as Toth shadowing him when Skout asks her to keep an eye on Hunter in order to keep him safe.

(On another note, about halfway through high school, Don Paragon challenges Hunter to a fight after school, and of course everyone comes out to see this shit. Don shows up first with a switchblade, and everyone’s scared he’s gonna fuck Hunter up, but then Hunter shows up with a fucking pitchfork. Needless to say, Don backed down and Hunter was now known as “the guy who brought a pitchfork to a knife fight” instead of just being the mute kid.)

Hunter and the three amigos are considered to be outcast's at school, but none of them are particularly bothered by this; they all can often be found chilling together during lunch, passing around a notebook so Hunter can talk to them easier. By senior year, the three amigos have all fully learned sign language, which they use not only to talk with Hunter, but get away with joking around in class with each other.

Before then though, Null was the only one who knew sign language, and became friends with Hunter first. Through this, Null invited Hunter to their friend group, but despite them all obviously being friends, other kids at school still mostly referred to them as “The Three Amigos + Hunter”; this annoys Null to no end, but Hunter swears he doesn't mind (he does, but he’ll never admit it).

The four of them eventually form a band that plays primarily at school dances and weekend parties. The band was almost called The Three Amigos, but Null insisted they name themselves something else in order to include Hunter. Santi came up with calling themselves “The Nomads of Nowhere”, which sticks. Hunter plays guitar (Adrian taught him how), Jethro plays keyboard, Santi plays drums, and Null sings.

Hunter is constantly being followed by animals of some kind, so instead of creating Critters, he attracts animals to himself (mainly stray cats, which he feeds daily).

The family has a few pets of their own: a black cat named Nomad (Hunter's therapy cat), a brown tabby cat named Critter (Ben found it as a kitten and gave it to Skout when Hunter got his cat), and a black Labrador named El Rey (Adrian's dog that he's had since he was a young teenager… no one knows how it's still alive, not even Adrian).

Post-high school headcanons for everyone:

After the twins graduate, Skout goes to a university in their state with Toth, who she's still dating. Hunter, in the meantime, goes to community college for awhile, and still lives at home, later moving out to live with the three amigos.

Toth proposes to Skout during their sophomore year, but they don't officially get married until after they both graduate. Everyone in Skout’s family sobs (Melinda’s her maid of honor) and Toth’s family is also cheering like mad. The after party is more or less a fucking rave, and the cops almost get called because they’re all so goddamn loud.

Skout becomes a biologist, but still constantly visits the library she worked at in college. Her specialty lies in forest preservation, and later on she starts working in a national park.

Toth becomes a historian, specializing in old weapons and war strategy. She also has a degree in psychology, but she doesn’t really do much with it tbh (other than mess with Red, who after getting his act together, becomes one of her closest friends).

Hunter becomes a musician, and as a side gig works as a sort of “cat whisperer” to make extra money and tell people they’re dumbasses who shouldn’t own cats.

The Nomads of Nowhere actually stick together for a long time after high school, and become a semi-popular indie band. After a few years though, they disband so Jethro and Santi can do their own things, so Hunter and Null form a two-man band called “The Dreaded Nomads.” After that, their music gets a lot more popular, but they’re still considered indie.

Oh yeah, almost forgot; Hunter and Null started dating in secret early on in high school. They mostly kept it a secret because they were both self-conscious about being judged by their peers, but they came out by going to their junior homecoming dance together. Everyone (except Skout and Melinda, who Hunter had already told) were surprised, but of course Hunter’s parents were all supportive. Null’s folks were… not, but at least he then got the chance to live with Santi’s family!

After high school, Hunter and Null are still going strong, and while neither of them are really comfortable with getting officially married for personal reasons, they plan on staying together for the rest of their lives. Also after high school, Null’s still no contact with his family for the most part (save for his mom), but Hunter’s family accepts him with open arms!

Santi and Jethro were dating since fucking middle school, and literally no one is surprised when they get hitched the day after graduation; if they have a kid and they’re a boy, they’re naming him Null Jr and Null will be secretly touched but act mad.

That’s all I’ve got for now! I might add more later, but feel free to add your own headcanons/ideas if you’d like to!

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3wisellamas · 5 years

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Finale / Misc Boxbot and Voxman family Headcanons

First, some assorted ones based off Thank You for Watching the Show:

-Robbie and Sara are totally Boxman's grandkids, and he and PV spoil the shit out of them whenever they visit, but no single one of the gen 1 Boxbots is their parent -- all six contributed to their design, so the gen 2 bots consider them all combination moms/dads and aunts/uncles. Though, Robbie tends to stick closest to Jethro and Raymond (especially Ray, he really looks up to him!), and Sara favors Ernesto and Shannon.

-The two of them really only fight as product tests, or for fun/combat training alongside the plaza crew -- Ernesto couldn't care less about the plaza's existence now that Boxman's gone. They're even friends with the new KO's Bodega employees during their off-hours! Though, whenever their grandpas visit, the two will go right into Serious Mode and try to wreck the place for real, to try and impress them.

-Darrell was the only robot that actually moved out after the finale, the rest all still live at Boxmore, even if they no longer work there. With his business skills, he's already the most successful evil farmer (also, like, the only evil farmer, but whatever) in the Neutral Zone, and his family visits him every other weekend.

-He did get upgraded to a robo-young adult, so he could live on his own, but it's not too noticeable. The only real differences are that he’s just a few inches taller, and now draws with colored pencils as well as crayons.

-He also took in Raymond's pet chickens.

-The bots still frequent the plaza as customers rather than just attackers now, and sometimes hang out with Enid, Rad, the backup Bodega crew, Dendy, and on occasion KO. Raymond designs fashions for Drupe in between his band's practice sessions, and if Mr Logic gets really busy Shannon sends some of her audience members to help him out. And, of course, Mikayla's even got a drink named after her at the cat cafe, which she stops in to order whenever she misses her feline friends (especially Teacup)!

-All those portraits, the Jethro mug, and the kitten model Mikayla that Boxman has in his house were Shucksgiving presents, as was Peej's book. PV knocked on the door right after the kids left from celebrating with him, figuring it would be as good a time as any to finally give him that cake.

-Jethro's actually taken up gardening, and grows flowers around the factory, though they tend to die pretty fast in the windowless hallways. He once tried to use some of Venomous' leftover gear in the labs in order to engineer them to need less sunlight, and the results were...tentacle-y.

-Boxman and Mr Logic are best friends again. ;v; Even if they don't often agree on things, and definitely don't work together anymore, Boxy regularly shows up at Logic's barbershop to get his hair cut and chat, and keeps him in the loop on everything that goes on with the rest of his family.

-When PV and Fink attacked the plaza in their bio-mech suits after returning to Earth, it wasn't actually the bodega employees who defeated them, but Carol, who pretty much just took one look out the window at the fight, said "Oh HECK no," and MESSED HIM UP. Fink stayed at Boxmore while he recovered in the hospital!

And now, some older, slightly weirder heacanons that I never really bothered to post:

-Doctor Weakpoint and Lord Boxman are mother and son. As in, yes, this person right here:

is the kinda-joke villain who kept sending robots to destroy POINT, even after some of its original members left. I also really like @the-golden-ghost's theory about Boxy being an ex-minion, so I think a lot of the other villains' disdain for him comes not just from him being a joke villain, but also a former HENCHMAN to a joke villain. Plus, she was probably very busy coming up with plans to destroy POINT every single day (and rebuilding Steamborg after he got trashed), hence Boxy taking himself go-karting for each of his birthdays, and eventually leaving to become a more serious villain on his own.

-He still calls her sometimes, and leaves lots of voicemail about how things are going at Boxmore, but she never answers or calls him back. ;-; She does send the kids birthday cards and candy, though, and they love their grandma a lot even if they've never been able to meet her.

-Fink did go to KO's school, like in the episode we were supposed to get. But she was in class 6-11B, rather than 6-11A like KO and Dendy, and they just never ran into her.

-Kinda dark one, if he gets hungry enough, Darrell has no problem with trying to hunt down and eat other robots, particularly his own clones (since it's not like there's ever a shortage of him around, plus their brains are extra tasty). Don't let him skip a meal, ever, and if you do...keep an eye on the vents.

-The entrance to Shadowy Figure's lair in Professor Venomous' house was literally just kept hidden under a rug. He also sometimes accidentally left glorbs or his scarf around the house, since sometimes he would lose control and start to shift back to PV unexpectedly. The only reason PV never noticed is because he's just THAT MUCH of a dumbass sometimes.

-I see that the fandom's caught on to the idea of Laserblast having a crush on Boxman long before even becoming a villain, and I LOVE it, but I raise you this: Boxman had a huge crush on Laserblast as well when he was first starting out with villainy. Attacking POINT with that junkfish cake may or may not have been one of his many excuses to see Laser again, and he even got some inspiration to work on laser weapons for his own creations from him.

-Boxman already knew who PV was LONG before the man finally decided to tell him about his backstory, because of this.

-Alternatively, the reason Boxy became a supervillain and tried to attack POINT in the first place? Because Laserblast snubbed him for a date, solely due to the whole "heroes shouldn't date villains" thing.

-Mikayla’s head literally was prototyped using one of Boxman’s old guitars. He doesn’t know how to play, like his sons, he just owned it to look cool.

-There was a short period of time, like three-four months, between Boxmore's completion and Lakewood Plaza Turbo's construction, in which Lad Boxman and Mr Logic actually did attack POINT and do petty villainy, in addition to their new manufacturing jobs. Logic was the brains, coming up with lots of schemes and handling all the logistics, and Boxman was the brawn, putting together new robots to fit their needs and carrying out the actual operations. Needless to say, NONE of their efforts were successful, or even memorable, as they were pretty easily outclassed by other, more established villains.

-Jethro's arms and legs have been there from the beginning, and were supposed to be for an upgrade that Boxman never actually implemented. He just didn't give enough of a shit to ever remove them from production.

-Leggy Jethro is his real mind, and is what runs underneath the more basic programming in the rest of his hivemind. He just never had the ability to actually come out and express himself, without the extra glorbs' energy. The other Jethros know they're him deep down but aren't able to fully understand why they feel...different. Not themselves. Hence, why they keep trying to assure themselves and others that they ARE Jethro...

#ok ko #ok ko let's be heroes #thank you for watching the show #emheadcanons

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nightcoremoon · 4 years

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i only like pop music when I can choose to hear it.

if rock's on, I'm on board. even if nickelback or creed is playing and I fucking hate them both.

if metal's on, I'm on board, as long as it's metal and not grindcore or deathblast or djentfuck or whatever the fuck else 4chan is concocting in their parents' basements.

if r&b's on, and I mean real r&b and not just "cishet male literal sex predators are sad", I'm on board.

if jazz is on, I'm on board, and I'm not even the biggest fan of jazz.

if classical music is on, I'm on board- I'm just so goddamn sick of vivaldi's spring, beethoven's symphony number five, bach's toccatta and fugue, pachelbel's canon in D, and liszt's hungarian rhapsody. THEY HAVE OTHER SONGS, GUYS.

if opera is on, I'm on board, just as long as it's not just fucking one of three ave marias by andrea bocelli. there's more opera artists than bocelli and there's mores songs besides ave maria.

I think you can see where this is going.

if rap is on, I'm on board, as long as it's not just fucking Drake Drake Drake Drake Tyga Drake. they're not even good rappers ASIDE from being two steps from pedophiles. give me wu tang, tribe, roots, nwa, public enemy, kid cudi, wiz, biggie, tupac, outkast, kurupt, beasties, jay, bone thugs, busta, eminem, nas, nate, luda, cypress hill, childish gambino, tech 9, snoop, give me real rap with meaning, feeling, flow, cultural impact, bass, clever lyrics, RHYTHM.

if country is on, well, if it's pre-9/11 i'm on board but if it's post-9/11 then fucking kill me. because post-9/11 country music is glorified pop with subliminal fascist ultranationalism and commercializations for alcoholism and cars. except for lil nas x and probably a small handful of others I don't know or care to know because I don't give a fuck about country music.

if punk's on and it's real punk I'm on board but not if it's just nasally white boys crying over an ex girlfriend or ugly british men with bad hair because THATS NOT WHAT PUNK IS. black flag, bad religion, bad brains, jack off jill, ice t, cromags, poison idea, rancid, misfits, against me, nofx, even sum 41, green day, offspring, and four year strong have redeeming qualities. but plain white tees, all american rejects, all time low, mayday parade, ramones, sex pistols, simple plan those are just pop groups who play four chords kinda fast, maybe yell sometimes. and while I do like songs by these bands, they are essentially pop, not punk.

if grunge is on and I mean like alice in chains (not rooster) or soundgarden (not black hole sun) or nirvana (not literally half of nevermind) or stone temple pilots or mudhoney or mother love bone (oh yeah and pearl jam is there too but honestly pearl jam is overrated, mike and eddie were way better in mad season, temple, and all the other configurations) then I'm on board. even if it's A- tier grunge like pumpkins, bush, live, spacehog, screaming trees, melvins, silverchair, veruca salt, l7, meat puppets, blind melon, local h, which isn't AS good but it still quality music made outside of commercialized bullshit which is what grunge was created to ESCAPE FROM after england fucking ruined metal in the 80s with hairspray and leather taking precedence over the actual music itself.

wait look commercialization ruined metal and grunge and punk and r&b and rap and country. I wonder why that is-

The Fucking Pop Music Industrial Complex.

so, look. there's a lot of music I don't know. I couldn't tell you billy eyelash from lil rubber ducky. maybe they're amazing and maybe they're not. I'm not gonna talk shit about modern music or pop music or anything. my problem is I can't go anywhere without hearing katy perry or taylor swift or miley cyrus or any number of dumbass inbred white trash idiots, and they all have like 80 songs each on replay. drake and cardi b are the same way, without the inbred and white parts. but they're all still horrible people made worse by $$$. it's a huge circlejerk of millionaires sonically engineering the airwaves to brainwash the masses into the sweet sweet ad revenue from youtube spotify itunes etc. it's made as a product to recycle. "Your style's like garbage cans meant to be taken out on a weekly basis, ever since your first record you've been in a state of suspended animation." There's no artistic integrity in the same song made over and over again except oh this one's about someone breaking up with you over booze and this one's about someone you broke up with because they cheated. 😑

Now I like some music that was made to sell for a product. Backstreet Boys, Nsync, New Kids on the Block, Britney, etc. I like it now 30 years later. Because I can choose to listen to it on my own terms. But I have no control over the shit they play now that's constantly pumped into my ears. It's all the same goddamn drivel and come a decade we're not gonna remember any of it. You know how much terrible music there was in the 50s? The 60s? The 70s 80s 90s and 00s were so full of the worst garbage anyone could ever churn out. Billboard was stocked to the brim with terrible music that nobody recalls and we only remember a tiny portion of it. The top 500 of 1982 is horrible. Even good bands like The Cars had boring unlistenable shit. There was good stuff too like Led Zeppelin and Jethro Tull and The Who and other bands THAT DIDNT SELL WELL AND WERE PERCEIVED AS FAILURES BY CRITICS IN 1982. It's always been that way. The popular shit is always bad and the good stuff subsists through the popularity to be remembered fondly. Why do you think the 80s are making a huge resurgence right now in meme culture? Because we know that Toto and Men At Work and A-Ha and Depeche Mode and Tears For Fears are actually good no matter how poorly they may have sold back then. But now, post-9/11 with American culture becoming what it is today, it got worse. So much worse. I watched it happen. There's no nostalgia filter here, music just sounds different at its core. The notes themselves affect my ears differently and actually cause pain nowadays. I use the same pair of earbuds and I can listen to stuff from earlier time periods just fine, even if I've never heard it before. But new music now? Either something's different with production and mixing or I just have auditory hallucination issues. Which I don't. I don't even have chronic tinnitus. Something is wrong. And looking at the fossil fuels industry, the software industry, the cinema industry, the automotive industry, the prison industry, politics, social media, and the economy, there's no possible way that everything is just a coincidence.

The things that make money benefit the ones getting that money and hurt everyone else. That includes music.

...

or maybe pop music just sucks.

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charlieslowartsies · 5 years

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I can’t decide between stuff LB or DS, bc of the rewrites, for the director’s cut thingy so I’m just gonna send a ⭐️ and leave it up to you ^^;

Iiii can do both if you’d like~ Will throw under a Read More bc it might get rambly. (Sorry mobile users!)

London Bridge: Oh I know EXACTLY what I want to mention in this one. So, LB was the first story written. It had no build up, no explanation other than ‘Mike works at pizzeria and goes to investigate Fazbear’s Fright.’ At the time...let’s see, Fnaf3 must have just come out. (I’m assuming. It was a while ago. And so much lore got released since then ^^;)

When I originally sat down to write LB I knew I wanted something that made people wonder about what came before. I wanted LB to be a sequel like how Fnaf2 was to Fnaf1. ‘How did Mike survive the first five nights?’ ‘Why did he stick around?’ ‘...why does he carry the Puppet’s box?’ And because Mike Schmidt had zero in-game development other than ‘blue eyes’ and ‘possible adrenaline junkie who doesn’t know when to quit’ I basically had a blank canvas to work with. Freddy and friends, at least, had some canon qualities, and I had read some fanfics that gave them some personalities I agreed with...and some I didn’t. But I also knew I wanted the Puppet in the story. I wanted the Puppet to be a gray scale character in terms of actions. He was using Mike Schmidt as a means to an End--but the Puppet did kind of like Mike. At least a little.

Anyway--the very first original characterization of Mike Schmidt was NOT intended to be scrawny, puppy-friendly and curious little idiot he’s become after some 240k words. He was actually more going to be based on Jethro Gibbs from fucking NCIS of all things. I know, right!? My dad LOVES that show, and I used to watch it while I worked back in 2014-15, which is when I started writing the knight guard au.

Mike Schmidt is the perfect example of characters evolving and find their own niche--even if they have to break down plaster to fit where THEY want to do. Fandom!Mike has many variations, and I’m pretty partial to this one, if only because he’s so fun to write as a guy trying to ‘do-good’ in a situation that’s far from good or safe anymore. Mike did get his in-game traits. his eyes ARE blue (when he’s not Golden Freddy) and he certainly doesn’t know when to quit. But that’s what Freddy and the others love about him.

Devil’s Spine: I actually feel bad for Devil’s Spine. It’s my least favorite part out of the whole series. I don’t like how fast paced I wrote it. It needs more work than LB does--and certainly way more work than GS, which is pretty much done except for spell checks. But the one thing I do like is what happened to the characters as I got near the end of it. You can see how I was expecting the foil for Mike to be Foxy (especially since I planned to kill Marion very early. I just never actually DID it until deep into GS.) That was a common head canon I saw in other fics, and I wanted to explore them being besties too! ....except, as I wrote more, I realized how much I had Foxy disliking the Puppet, and how much reckless, dumbass Mike needed a foil that was calmer, and more thoughtful (unless angered.) Mike was always planned to be a smart cookie, but he can’t be everything. He’s physically weaker than the others unless he uses Golden Freddy, and his Captain America drive to protect everyone can lead him into serious trouble. I realized that Mike and Fazbear were far more interesting together, if only because of the swear jar gag. By the time GS came around, those two were firmly cemented as needing each other. Mike is Freddy’s kid, and he loves the young man. He loves how much Mike loves Freddy’s restaurant, and Mike loves how much Freddy has his back. Freddy’s fondness for Mike was explained later in Another Five Nights, during chapter 5. When Freddy was first onlined, he met a then 20ish Micheal Afton. Freddy got his accent because of Micheal’s suggestion, and he would develop his AI by watching after Afton’s oldest for as long as he could.

Until the day Freddy wasn’t there for him, and everything went to hell.

Freddy saw Micheal Afton’s choices (whatever those were) as a betrayal, and cut the sensitive old bear deeply. He couldn’t protect that Micheal from his fate, or from his father, or from his own choices. But the way Fazbear sees it, maybe he can protect this Mike. He has to try. Henry would want him to.

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lord-rosenth0rne · 5 years

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I love how I make characters to be my persona in certain universes and I end up putting too much thought in them to where I make a background and alter them so much that when I do something that I would normally do, it becomes too OOC for that character and I have to go back to the drawing board XD

My Pyro Main just became that...She went from destructive, fun-loving, hopeless romantic to this silent Michael Myers type who killed her mother for forcing her into beauty pageants with a penchant for throwing gasoline around and lighting people on fire just for the hell of it.

Yeah... This oughta be fun. Might still be able to shoehorn the hopeless romantic bit in there somewhere for her but the rest went out the window.

Edit: I kiiiinda also made my own team... On paper and SFM too... I think I kinda went overboard... I can post the SFM stuff later if anyone’s interested. The rest is undercut. Some just have a couple of things off from their original counterparts.

Jethro: An elderly cantankerous engineer. Years in the mercenary field has taken a toll on him and made him salty. Due to this, his teammates try to avoid him on the field and off. He won’t hesitate to call you out on bullshit or make an example of you if you try to push him. He absolutely hates incompetence and believes his ‘team’ is full of idiots who ‘can’t tell their asses from holes in the ground’. He can usually hold his own very well which has led the opposing team to gang up on him in order to take him down. This has become an issue but due to his reputation with the other teammates, he can’t get the help he needs. He is the oldest by far out of all of the mercenaries. His favorite word is ‘Dumbass’ but his insults can get quite colorful and creative. His past isn’t well known other than the fact he was once married and had kids.

Stefan: The team’s Medic and leader. As a young man studying in the medical field, he was forced to join the Nazi cause but fled the moment he could, however not before performing unspeakable acts under the threat of those same acts happening to him. He is haunted by what he has done and has tried to turn himself in once the allies had taken over only to be brushed off due to lack of evidence. The commander who forced him to do those acts had taken credit for all of it for some twisted sense of ‘glory’. Stefan suffers from a heavy form of PTSD and can’t be left alone to his thoughts without alcohol. He considers himself a monster who can’t go back to normal life. He has been under Jethro’s wing since he entered the Mercenary scene. He tries to atone for his past by being a good leader and Medic to his team.

Jasper: The team’s Sniper. He’s very calm, quiet and reserved. He doesn’t often get involved in any conflict with other teammates unless it is to break up a nasty fight. If he has to raise his voice, someone is going to pay. He prefers the solitude his job gives him. He has several birds which he uses to communicate with others without leaving the watchtower of the base headquarters. He’s rarely seen outside of the base when not fighting. His teammates chalk it up to his job needing stealth more than him actually wanting to be alone.

Nikoli: The team’s Heavy. That’s all anyone knows minus his favorite foods and past times. While he is friendly and can be quite boisterous, the man is careful not to reveal anything about his past. He will become stone-faced if asked about it and will promptly change the subject. He is well versed in multiple weapons and can be an efficient leader when given the opportunity. Rumor has it that he may have been or still be a sleeper agent but no evidence has surfaced. The Soldier tries to butt heads with Nikoli over the fact he’s Russian but Nikoli laughs him off and offers to buy him a drink.

Gawen: The team’s Demoman and second in command. Gawen came to America looking for a better life only to fall deep into the crime scene when he was met with resistance and racism from the locals. The only jobs he could land were those no one wanted to do but even then they didn’t pay well. He was soon picked up by a local crime syndicate after he finished a fight that he didn’t start in a local pub against rival gang members. As a member, he thrived for years while discovering his love for explosives but once the head of the syndicate was assassinated, it was disbanded and caused him to go west to find work.

Jack: The team’s Scout. Fancies himself as ‘Jumping Jack Flash’. Some kid from the Bronx who thinks he’s hot shit with a passion for sports, not just baseball. After beating a customer to near death with a metal bat at the sports store he used to work at, he fled and ended up at Teufort. He insists the customer was asking for it and doesn’t seem to regret his actions. Jack also seems to be a closeted homosexual and shows extreme fear when someone jokingly alludes to him being gay which often leads to him trying to ‘prove heterosexuality’ to the person. One of his cousins was tortured and murdered for being homosexual by people who were supposed to be friends.

Iggy: The team’s offensive Pyro, but he usually goes by ‘Pyro’. Not many of the Mercs actually know it’s ‘Iggy’. He looks like an absolute badass biker but it’s all for show. The other team doesn’t need to know that though. He does not take off his mask for anyone except the Medic. He does own a motorcycle and will go off on his own for long periods of time. When he’s at the base, he usually knits, cooks, and cleans. He does not like Jethro as the codger made him cry on more than one occasion.

Arsene: The team’s Spy. Because no one is using their original names, this man has decided to choose the name of the famous gentleman thief, Arsene Lupin, who may or may not exist in their fictional universe. Not much is known about the man otherwise, other than the fact he may be on several watch lists under several different names. He loves gardening and incorporates fresh flowers in his dapper style whenever possible. He tends to flirt with anything that moves.

Warren: The team’s Soldier. Second oldest on the team and an actual war veteran… er, war criminal. He abandoned his platoon in order to carry out some extreme measures on the enemy. He was hoping to get to Hitler himself and strangle him. Once he got word of Hitler’s suicide, he set his sights on Stalin but was caught before he could even reach Russia. His kill streak spans into the hundreds. He and Stefan have crossed paths once before with Stefan narrowly escaping his rampage.

Cynder: The team’s defensive Pyro and the only female to date on the team (Soldier bitches about it behind her back). She was hired onto the Red team at Stefan’s request to help Jethro as none of the other teammates wanted to and basically does intern work outside of battle. While she has no recorded work experience, she does have training as she comes from a long lineage of mercenaries. She is often silent and has a Michael Myers vibe about her when she is working, using only gestures to communicate. She has a habit of just appearing out of nowhere. She uses this to her advantage, often splashing targets with gasoline and lighting them on fire if the situation calls for it. It’s a game of Russian Roulette, leaving witnesses to wonder if she’ll light the gas or not. She often carries an old silver zippo lighter with a skull etched in the side. The shotgun she uses is an old stock shotgun with ornate markings down its barrel that belonged to a family member of hers. Her teammates do not know what to make of her and the presence of a woman on the team has caused opposing team to hesitate when squaring off with her. She doesn’t have Pyrovision but is brutal enough without it. Cynder is considered the catalyst for more female mercs to be hired by the two companies.

#Her name is Cynder #so I might have to keep Rosenthorne for actual personas #This wasn't supposed to happen #The song 'Gasoline' by Halsey just became her anthem #SFM #TF2 #Characters I accidentally made

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