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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 8 months

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do—

Do Howdy and Barnaby ever get together in your human au 🥺🥺

of course they do, who do you think i am

oh BOY do i have things to say about human!Laughingstock! im so unwell about them allow me to talk and talk and talk and ta-

so in this au they're like... the ultimate slowburn. their feelings for each other slowly simmer and grow over the course of *checks nonexistent watch* a lil over a decade i think. it's not very dramatic - just soft & silly w/ just a heap of pining and a pinch of angst for Flavor

it starts when they were teens - Howdy had a lil crush on Barnaby in middle school. and how could he not? Barnaby was cute, hilarious, and kind. at this point, they weren't friends! Barnaby knew Howdy's name, but only because they'd shared a school since elementary (as with 6/7 of the other neighbors) & speaking from experience, you just Know Those Names. Howdy slowly "grew out of" this crush, especially when the friend group started forming and he & Barnaby became actual friends.

that crush would fluctuate over the years. It starts out strong and then softens into just this hum in the back of Howdy's mind. always there, often easy to ignore, just... part of him, in a way.

Barnaby has a similar experience. when he and Howdy became friends, he got a lil crush - how could he not? Howdy was cute, laughed at all of his jokes and had a few of his own, and was endearingly eccentric. but at the time, Barnaby didn't recognize the crush for what it was. so he elected to ignore it until the crush dwindled to something easily manageable, something he wouldn't realize is still there. as with Howdy's, it'd never fully go away

and its noticeable enough to their friends that they'd all kinda side-eye how touchy Howdy & Barnaby are with each other (Barnaby is a physical guy, but damn. if Howdy is nearby they Will find a way to be touching at all times), the way they always laugh at each others jokes, the way they always ask "where's [x] / is [x] coming with" whenever the other is absent. but the group couldn't be sure if they were looking into it or not. it's too subtle. over time they get so used to it that they don't bat an eye - Howdy is Barnaby's best friend after Wally. of course they're close!

but then there's this one college party Howdy drags Barnaby to (and by extension, Wally). they're drunk off their asses, Wally's edible has kicked in, the party is pretty chill and everyone is having a decent time. all three of them are on the couch, and Barnaby and Howdy start drunk-complimenting each other. naturally, this feeds their mutual attraction, and one thing leads to another! they make out on the couch. naturally with Wally sandwiched between them, snacking on chips and committing the moment to memory (it's a surprise tool that'll help them later!) neither Barnaby nor Howdy will remember this

now, something i'd like to state for Barnaby in this au! he has had a lot of relationships - from one night stands to actually dating someone for months. sometimes the one night stands were a "he takes someone home after a date, & they leave while he's sleeping and ghost him" situation. with actual dating, the other person always breaks things off after a few weeks, if not days. it breaks Barnaby's heart a little bit every time. to the point where in his mid-20s, he just... stops dating. he avoids other people's advancements towards him, he always takes a friend with him to bars/etc as a buffer, he becomes an expert at gracefully turning people down

("why, pray tell" no one asks "do they always leave him? he's such a catch!" that he is! when he was in school, it was his friend group. he'd try to introduce his 'girlfriend' to his friends, and it'd be an immediate "eugh, you're friends with those freaks? no way!" as an adult, people found it off-putting how (by societal standards) unusually close he was with Wally. also, again, a "weird" friend group. they'd think it's too much, or just not their scene, or 'why don't you date your little blue haired boyfriend', etc. Barnaby never holds it against Wally or his friends. he has the mindset of if that person was the one, they would accept every part of Barnaby - and his friends are indeed part of him. Howdy has also dated around a little, but to a much lesser extent. he's too busy! he doesn't have time for that!)

but the ball really starts rolling in their late 20s. something the group does together - as a fun lil rare hobby - is LARPing. they get really into it! Sally made them all custom costumes, Julie helped make the weapons (like a giant sword for herself), etc etc. they fully commit to the bit (even Frank <3). so at this event's point in the timeline, Eddie is fully integrated into the clique, but that's unimportant - just to show where we are!

so they're all doing their thing, it's a pretty big LARP event - there's always way more people than our dear neighbors, yk. they're just part of the crowd! & there's a big battle hosted, the group is split between teams, but Barnaby & Howdy are on the same side! yay! during the battle, Barnaby is "mortally wounded." Howdy half-drags him away from the main battle under the cover of their teammates (including Eddie and Julie) and sits him down by the tree. now, Howdy & Barnaby are the ones who get into the roleplay the most. they get lost in the sauce! they perform the hell out of everything they do!

& since Barnaby is "dying", he really acts like it. Howdy acts accordingly, but again, they get a little too emotional, a little too into it, a little lost in the sauce. genuine tears are in their eyes, Howdy's voice is genuinely shaking a little as he holds Barnaby in his "dying moments" (Barnaby is holding the sword between his arm and his side. he has ketchup on his armor.) Eddie and Julie are getting choked up just watching this happen. and as Howdy & Barnaby look into each others' tear-filled eyes, those little feelings that have been so quiet for so long come right back babey! full force! but then they all get hit with "arrows" and have to die right there and then, and the moments over. but! both Barnaby & Howdy walk away from this LARP session grappling with Partially Realized Feelings.

Barnaby struggles with this the most, since yk at this point he's sworn off dating. he's being careful with his heart! but when he tells Wally all of this, cause he tells Wally everything, Wally's like "oh. yes, i know! remember that one college party where you two kissed for an hour". and then he goes on to point out every instance where he's thought "right, Howdy and Barnaby are in love" (bc Wally is way more observant than he lets on! he saw that shit! his peepers were peepin!)

BUT IT'S STILL A SLOW BURN BABEY!

Barnaby and Howdy don't approach each other about this. they're both in the boat of "well, i'll just keep going and see what happens" to the point where they're practically dating without ever saying anything to each other. Howdy notices how Barnaby lingers around the store more. Barnaby notices how Howdy keeps turning up at his work to talk more. (they already chat so much...) but they still! dont! say! anything! but they both Know! they're not emotionally circling each other they are Dancing to their Own Music!

and Barnaby is letting himself believe that this can work because, well... Howdy already accepts him as he is. Howdy is part of the group. Howdy loves Wally just like the rest of em. Howdy has seen Barnaby at his (presumed) worst and didn't even flinch! as for Howdy, well, he just thinks this is right! his whole life no one has really caught his eyes or heart, but Barnaby is different. he's always been in Howdy's peripherals. it feels natural to love him so deeply. Barnaby slots into his life like the final piece of a puzzle!

there's a lot of stuff that happens in this inbetween state - Howdy's store burns down & almost takes him with it, there's some family drama that needs to be handled, The Crash happens, etc etc etc - so it's a while before they "actually" get together. but they're both patient! they've waited this long, even if they didn't know they were waiting. neither of them are in a rush. they're young. they have time.

#oughhhhhh so normal about them sooooo so normal (lying)#'do you know how they get together' yes. obviously. its not dramatic or a big thing or anything #they're just at a function together - maybe there's a little late evening art show in town that wally is participating in #or an afterparty for one of sallys successful plays #but in my mind barnaby and howdy are ofc sitting together off to the side #Flirting. yk how it is. barnaby's like 'hey can i practice some pickup lines ;)' & ofc howdy agrees yk yk #they're all terrible btw. howdy laughs at every single one. barnaby is on an emotional high. the rizz is strong w this one #one thing leads to another - barnaby says a terrible line essentially asking if howdy wants to ~come home with him~#but like. howdy agrees. and immediately the tone between them goes from lighthearted & joking to dead serious & tense #everything between them has gone unspoken until now but Now Theyre Saying It #suffice to say they leave the party early! they're giddy giggly lil bitches about it - acting like teens sneaking out yk yk #GOD THEY'RE SO FUCKING AGHHHHHH THROWING THEM FULL STRENGTH INTO A WOODCHIPPER #sorry. sorry. im calm now. thats a lie. i will proceed to explode #but anyway anyway #so that was a whole thing & basically long story short Barnaby has the morning of his dreams #Howdy makes him and Wally pancakes and they all have a nice quiet breakfast together. The Domesticity🤌#im gonna go shove my head in a blender now. excuse me #rambles from the bog #wh modern human au #gonna leave that as the tag #but yeah their story is just! slow! its a soft descent!#meanwhile frank & eddie are stumbling through their feelings like newborn fawns #but yeah and howdy & barnaby continue to take their time #its a while before barnaby is like 'hey wanna move in with us?'#howdy '....yeah sure'#and Boom! Howdy moves in!#and they actually get married a while later without anyone but wally knowing. they do it for tax reasons initially.#since they're not ready to be Married married but! they! want! the! benefits!#they keep their own last names and dont have rings bc again! theyre not ready for that yet!#FUCK IM OUTTA TAGS I HAD MORE TO SAY! TUMBLR INCREASE YOUR TAG COUNT! AGH

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yardsards · 24 days

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incredibly funny hearing people describe mithrun as a middle aged man. he's in the elf equivalent of his late 20s to mid 30s (depending on how you do the math)

#just because the light has left his eyes doesn't mean he's middle aged #eliot posts #dungeon meshi #dm spoilers #mithrun #late 20s estimate from using tallman years and only factoring in total lifespan #mid 30s estimate from using modern irl human years and factoring in age of maturity in addition to lifespan #other methods all get a result somewhere in early 30s

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castilestateofmind · 1 year

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“It has been well said that mythology is the penultimate truth--penultimate because the ultimate cannot be put into words. It is beyond words. Beyond images [...]. Mythology pitches the mind beyond that rim, to what can be known but not told”.

- Joseph Campbell.

*The cave of Altamira.

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theaskew · 2 months

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André Derain (French 1880-1954) Woman in a Chemise, 1906. Painting, oil on canvas, 100 x 81 cm. (Source: SMK, Statens Museum of Kunst, Denmark)

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dearearlyarchaeologists · 1 year

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Dear early archaeologists,

Human remains are not your property. I am fully aware that the governments under which you attained the excavation material did not exercise their right to stop you from removing said remains.

However, any desecration of the individual’s remains, (such as some who have permanently arranged them in a manner for display like pouring resin over the remains, retained their bones for purposes other than scientific analysis, or any purposeful ignorance of the direct wishes of their modern ancestors) is proof of not only your unnecessary abandonment of the personhood of these ancient peoples, your disregard for those who are simply unlike you in any manner, and, finally, your carelessness for their culture in which you seem to have forgotten you have dedicated your time and likely quite a lot of your own money to.

Human remains as well as the material culture of these people is not yours to deserve, obtain, or hoard.

I understand that what you did was legal. In your eyes, it may have even been the most moral thing to do to preserve a person’s memory. However, there is no excuse to permit such irreversible behavior. Archaeology is a destructive science. You must understand that your worldview is not the collective goal of the world.

Remember the humanity of those from whom you seek to learn.

#dear early archaeologists #archaeology #history #writing letters #morality #letters to dead people #life as a modern archaeologist #we have to deal with this crap #excavation #ethics #respect the dead #human remains

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magnetothemagnificent · 2 years

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Jurassic Park but we bring back extinct hominins and have an awesome world with multiple hominin species and genera coexisting.

#listen knowing how bigotted modern humans can be I know this is a fantasy #but damn I just want to be friends with a neanderthal #anthropology #early hominins #extinct hominins #paleoanthropology

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the-cricket-chirps · 7 months

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Bull, from cave of Altamira, Santander, Spain, c. 10,000 B.C.

Pablo Picasso, Plate 4, 'Bull’ series, 1945 (lithograph)

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snowleopardcrk · 1 month

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Modern Humans AU - CR:K

OKAY SO, me and a friend have been working (on and off) on a Cookie Run: Modern Humans AU ever since summer of last year.'

While the AU takes place in an alternate reality of ours (America, France, etc etc) do exist, but other fictional countries like Estuilor do! This is where the AU mainly takes place in, particularly in Holmur County that is located in the largest region (Jouhun) of Estuilor.

The country itself has French as a second language while its main language is Estuilsur. This is the entire list of Cookies we have included so far, including OCs!

White Lily Pure Vanilla Wildberry Crunchy Chip Sea Bunny (OC) Snow Leopard (OC) Moonflower (OC) Dark Cacao Dark Choco Royalberry Moonlight Stardust Sea Fairy Sorbet Shark Herb Sparkling Mojito (OC) Herbling (OC) Basil (OC) Golden Cheese Rich Cheese Sweet Dream (OC) Cloudy Pyrite (OC) Oat Milk (OC) Ristretto (OC) Latte Cashew (OC) Rose Champagne (OC) Pecan (OC) Marzipan (OC) Blanc de Noirs (OC) Blueberry Pie Blueberry Eclair Eclair Grand Madeleine Teacake (OC?) Sea Salt Madeleine Glazed Madeleine Honey Madeleine Financier Madeleine Espresso Macchiato (OC) Chouquette (OC) Strawberry Crepe Affogato Roguefort Black Pearl Captain Caviar Squid Ink Larimar (OC) Coral (OC) Pastry Red Velvet

Pure Vanilla is currently a retired ER Nurse and is now a Botanist, White Lily works in pathology, Espresso is a former Math Teacher now Chemist (he subs in sometimes), Madeleine is a military general of the army, Dark Cacao is a former military general, Wildberry and Crunchy Chip run a massive sheep farm (with Snow Leopard as their recon / barn cat), Golden Cheese & Black Pearl run their respective jewel stores and are rivals... This is the simple list of everyone's jobs, not everyone currently has one but will soon! I don't believe we won't add anyone more to the cast until we have finished filling in all of the current info of our cast.

Once I and my wonderful friend have completed all of the basics, I may open a ask blog for this au (it is quite vast!), and do not worry, the google docs detailing the world and these au variants of our beloved characters will be released soon-ish!

Sorry for all of the tags and i can't every single character ^^'

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enbysiriusblack · 2 months

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literally the biggest thing i've learned so far from university (as a literature and history student) is that food/eating/digesting is the primary tool of love. cooking people food? love. eating other people? love. jesus feeding people his body? love. taking power of countries is easy when you control a food supply (the caesar's reign). "life is sustained by feeding on dead matter", we consume food to live, destroying something in the process. and giving someone food is the ultimate love- keeping them alive and nourished. so yeah,, cannibalism is romantic.

#also like. the thing about foods being hot or cold and moist or dry and connecting to the four humours (early modern health shit)#and eating that specific food would make you more hot or cold and moist or dry. like consumption can change your body and your mind #<- so like in yellowjackets. jackie represents humanity and javi represents innocence so in eating them the girls can obtain that #and also retain part of them with them forever. like jackie will always be with shauna because she's literally inside her.#tw food #uni shit

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literary-illuminati · 3 months

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Gat just casually included Poland in a list of 'natural' early modern national states and I'm increasingly tempted to just throw this book out of a window.

#early modern poland famously nationally and linguistically unitary and coherent #s'why it was called the 'republic of one nation'#I don't' know enough about the other listed examples (Denmark Portugal Sweden etc) to argue with him on them but I'm going to #start from a place of doubt #war in human civilization #azar gat #history #tht

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pacing-er · 3 months

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Twitter is so fucking awful. Why the hell are you recommending this shit? Two in a row, from people who I don't follow. I don't interact with any i/p conflict stuff there, there is no fucking reason that I should have to see this. It isn't even news. It's just an antisemitic shithead making up MORE blood libel about Israeli soldiers and their ignorant followers calling ppl genocide supporters for asking them to back up their claims.

It literally is a TikTok screenshot too they didn't even attempt to pretend they got this information from a reputable source! Yet there are so many shares and comments acting like this is true! People are so fucking willing to believe that the only Jewish state in existence is full of degenerates gee I wonder why : /

#antisemitism #personal #vent #twitter #im so fucking tired #im putting in a request at work to get off early friday so i can go to shabbat services #i need to be around jews i feel like im going crazy #no one else would understand what it's like to be jewish right now and how fucking scary it is #war is awful and it causes innocent people to die #why can't you guys just be anti-war instead of anti Israel? why do you not talk about any awful modern conflicts besides this one?#israelis are not evil #they are human beings most of them have no control over what is happening #and even if they did i fucking promise you they would not use this as an opportunity to slaughter children

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 9 months

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for funsies and because the Writing Motivation gripped me, here's a snippet of a modern human au scene. no-context edition. it's unedited and also its 1 am, so if it's a lil wonky take pity on me <3 im just a lil guy <3

“It’s addressed to one, uh, Wally Darlin' -”

“That’s me.”

“Oh, is it? Great! I was hopin’ I wouldn’t have to return it. Good thing I carried it with me, huh? Y’know, funny thing - your last name kinda reminds me of mine.”

Wally takes the offered letter. “It does?”

“Yessir! It’s not often you meet a Darling, let alone a Dear-”

“Eddie Dear!” Wally says, his eyes widening and his smile growing.

Eddie blinks. He checks his shirt to see if a nametag manifested. There isn’t one. “How’d you know my name? Is - is this a prank? Am I being filmed?”

“Ha, no, silly. I knew you looked familiar. It was bothering me,” Wally says, looking completely unbothered. “We went to high school together.”

“High… school?” Eddie frowns, wracking his brain. “But I don’t… oh. Oh! You’re the funny lil’ fella who hung with the weird kids!”

Eddie slaps a hand over his mouth as soon as the words spill out of his mouth, blanching. He stares at Wally in horror, waiting for the smile to sour. Why did he have to go and open his big, stupid-

“Ha ha ha, ha ha” Wally enunciates, his smile turning into a grin. He points at himself, eyes narrowed with mirth. “That’s me. I’m happy you remembered! I was starting to think you didn’t.”

“I almost didn’t,” Eddie says. He slowly drops his hand, relieved beyond words that Wally didn’t take his words as a slight. They weren’t. “You seemed familiar as well, I just couldn’t quite put my finger on it.”

“Luckily, now we both have. It’s nice to see you again. How have you been?”

“I’ve been… well enough, I suppose.” Eddie carefully swallows the word vomit rising in his throat.

He doesn’t have time to catch up with Wally, as much as he’d like to sit down and chat. Or maybe he wants to hightail it out of here… the mortification is blending so strangely with this awkward reunion and Eddie’s own past issues rekindling. Eddie’s tempted to just sit down and hold his head in his hands until his mind stops spinning.

Wally hums. “Would you like to come back later to tell me more? It’s been a very long time, Eddie.”

“It has, and I’d like that very much, but… I’m not sure. I’ve got a packed schedule, Mr. Darling.”

“Call me Wally,” Wally says immediately. A strange sharpness underlies his tone.

“Wally,” Eddie corrects. “But it was awfully wonderful to see you again.”

“I agree. Maybe I’ll see you again tomorrow?”

Only the endearing uptick to the sentence tips Eddie off to it being a question. He adjusts his hat. “I can’t say for sure. I got a late start today, but my job doesn’t really offer a reliable timetable. It all depends on what I got to deliver, you know?”

“No,” Wally says. “But I can imagine.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I hope we do run into each other again! I’m just real busy.”

Wally nods. “I understand.”

Eddie nods back. They stand in awkward silence for a beat too long, though Wally seems perfectly comfortable with the quiet. And the prolonged eye-contact.

“Well.” Eddie clears his throat and takes a step back, preparing to say goodbye.

Naturally, his foot misses the step and he falls backwards. Wally’s eyes widen and he lunges forward, but Eddie twists and manages to turn the fall into a jarring stumble. He staggers halfway down the path before losing momentum.

“Hoo, that was a close one!” Eddie readjusts his hat and huffs, putting his hands on his hips. “That would’ve been a nasty fall, let me tell ya.”

“Please watch where you’re going,” Wally says, standing halfway down the steps. His cat is still where it was told to sit. The brief glimpse of surprise Eddie caught has been replaced by that sleepy, neutral expression. Eddie wonders if he even saw it.

“Don’t worry, I’m pretty talented at survivin’ tough tumbles,” Eddie laughs. “I’ll get to my truck in one piece - it was nice seein’ you again, Mr. Darli- Wally.”

Wally holds up his letter. “We’ll see you around.”

He says it like a promise. Or a threat?

Eddie smiles and tips his hat before leaving, struggling to keep his pace casual. He nearly throws himself into the truck and slumps into his seat with no small amount of relief. He grips the steering wheel and rests his forehead against it.

#and i have a headache now so im gonna go sleep!#i have to get up early... ough....#anyway thinking so hard about the human au tonight #the layers!!! The Layers!!!!#ough headache getting worse No Rambles Tonight folks bye #i. dont know how to tag this #chucking that tiny problem at future me. you can deal with tagging #edit: future me here! fuck you! i had to look through my archive for this!#wh modern human au #snippets from the bog

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