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abigolerant-blog · 5 years

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lets talk: phan

First, I’d like to get this disclaimer out of the way. This is not phan bashing, this is not an attack on the phandom or on dan and phil themselves. the people of the phandom are beautiful people and they are so fuckin amazing

*no, im not apart of the phandom. i’m just a person who knows shit, now let me tell you what i know. do i ship phan? no. do i know phil and dan are together? yes.

BECAUSE,

theres a difference between shipping .. (shipping - The act of one wanting/supporting two individuals involved in a romantic relationship)

and phan (two people who are actually together, and make it blatantly obvious. but at the same time, don’t make it obvious at all to the internet.) it’s different from shipping where the IDEA of wanting them to be together,, because daniel howell and phil lester have been together for quite some time now. it’s a reality instead of a ship.

Let’s take a couple of examples.

You guys remember the whole Kylie Jenner situation? Remember how she like kept her pregnancy a secret for literally 9 months. Remember how news outlets, social medias, and everyone on planet earth called that she was pregnant. It was a huge question that hung up in the air. But there were some HUGE flags that pointed to her being pregnant, like hiding her stomach, dressing in baggy clothing, old throwbacks on her instagram account. AND THEN, i forgot who it was but im too lazy to look. Kylies sister/mother/whatever was being interviewed on television?? And they were like,, “Is Kylie pregnant, like whats the deal here.” and then on multiple occasions, the whole family didn’t comment. they didn’t come outright and explicitly say yes or no to said question about kylie jenner being pregnant. ummm BITCH UHHH.. what do you mean no comment? you could have just said no and got rid of all speculation.. but they made no comments. they stayed quiet, they stayed low. they avoid questions regarding kylie’s pregnancy. AND GUESS WHAT. uhhhhhhhhhh, yea. it was obvious she was pregnant. AND THEN, she came out right after stormie was born and she was like “yea i was fucking pregnant duh” and then she went back to her life after uploading that video and moved on.

now, how does this relate to phan?

Okay, so let’s think about them as human beings for a minute instead of personalities on youtube. So, there were these two guys, right? They knew each other back in 2008, yea? they met on the internet, and then in person and all of the sudden they were extremely involved in each other's lives. now, i don't have to bring up the tweets from literally ten years ago. you guys all have read them. you guys all know what they say. dan and phil’s chemistry was irrevocable. nobody could deny that phil and dan had chemistry with one another and THAT’S .. the tea sis. they CLEARLY flirted with one another, yadda yadda. and i hate to be that bitch but lets talk about that private video for a second, because i know some people HATE hearing about it. you guys know what i mean. sure, respect Dan and Phil by not uploading it or reminding Phan that it existed. but can we talk about how it was made up to be this whole thing that it wasn’t and it was taken down so fast and phil takes down ALL of the things that is related to that video. that’s cool or whatever. but when you think about the things that were said - it’s perfectly logical and applicable that it was real. and I'm cutting you no bullshit. i’m gonna be honest. that video was fucking real. fast forward a couple of years and suddenly present phan is super sensitive about the topic of “being shipped together” compared to the phan where “man phils poster just watched me have sex” and boom, dan and phil are together and travel together and see each other's families and you can all know. BUT WAIT, did the akinator ask us if we’re dating? man we should edit that out of the video, but lets take you on a vlog of us walking around town on Christmas and be platonic. man did that old lady tell us we were cute together on that radio show we did? better laugh awkwardly and cover it up. man do millions of people know we’re a couple? man, we better call each other bros!!! (chillin five feet apart because they’re not gay) but ANYWAYS, there are a couple red flags that i notice about phan and the first one is this:

1. no confirming or denying.

yeah, you know that annoying thing that your friend does when they start a sentence and they say “nevermind”.. and you get frustrated. like what do you know that I don't? and that's what phan does, they do that all the time. they start to have a moment on camera, something along the lines of like “man you’re my best friend, you’re important to me” but then follow it up with a joke that just revokes all meaning to what they said? it’s so blatantly obvious that phan is OBSESSED with how their audience sees them. and i know dan is the pickiest about what we see/hear/know. they’re hypersensitive to what their audience says, but trust me and trust the phandom. their silence is so much louder than words. like mate, you two have BEEN together/LIVING together in the same place and have been around each other mostly year around 24/7 and you’re telling me in that whole span of a decade neither dan or phil have gone out and invested themselves in another romantic relationship? you guys are telling me that these two, tall, handsome people havent found a significant other yet?? and you’re telling me if dan and phil were just bro’s,,, they wouldn’t of found a partner in the whole span of 10 years and didn’t move out to be with that partner?? yeah uhh,, you know why they don’t do that?? I'm pretty sure you know why. we know. other YouTubers know. the ideology of phan being a thing has been around for so long, yet they don’t care to say to explicitly confirm nor deny their relationship. or maybe a simple, it’s complicated will suffice? sure, it’s none of my business. sure, it’s their life. sure, it’s their whatever.

2. taking advantage of their audience

but you’re telling me,,, they create an empire thats HEAVILY Influenced by the fact they COULD (which they are) TOGETHER.. they make a whole TOUR of them TOGETHER, they do videos TOGETHER, they make merch TOGETHER,,,, but you don't have respect enough for your audience to at least give them an inkling of that? your video has to be filled with suggestive innuendos and tour plugging but you can’t even confirm/deny the very thing that has been paying your bills for YEARS? sure, dan and phil are amazing people. they’ve done so much for their fans, they’ve been the core of some amazing artwork, works of fanfics and amazing friendships.. but someone can spend weeks on an amazing phan piece of art and uhhhh, you won’t acknowledge it because it shows you two being innocently intimate like holding hands or some shit? you’re telling me an artist can work so hard on something based on the idea of you,, but it will never get any recognition because oh no.. it’s us kissing :( like i mean this with the most respect possible, like get over it. But yeah, I’m going to post no content except for tour ads for the next three months and oh, here’s some merch. oh you pay all my bills? oh you want us to do pinof 10? uhhh we’ll think about it. yeah,

okay sisters, we’re getting real here. the tea is hot.

hey people of the phandom who are reading this? did you know that you obsessing over heart eyes howell and phil topping (which he doesn’t, hate to say it) that it literally pays their bills right? Phan is complete bullshit, in the LEAST negative way possible. They’re great people, they just bullshit a lot.

3. pandering

You guys know that uhhh, you don’t know anything about Dan and Phil? Yeah, they’re a youtube couple. But they only let you in on the very surface because it seems like they dont want to be every old ordinary youtube couple. let’s take jenna and julien for a second. jenna and julien have been together for a long ass time and they show us the sweet stuff and the hard stuff. but not to where we know EVERYTHING about them. Everything they do is generally appropriate in the privacy sense, they vlog enough to keep us entertained but healthy enough to keep their sanity. Unlike Shep689, you can look up who Will and RJ are, but they were a youtube couple who shared EVERYTHING about their relationship. up to the point where they showed each other in bed at night DAILY, they got married to each other. then surprise, surprise they get divorced. there’s not a lot of couples who survive the wrath of youtube. take liza and david, prankvsprank, anthony and kalel, collen and josh, yeah it’s a lot. but what’s the running theme of these youtube couples that have broken up? they were same old youtube couples that we got used to and we loved. they were just like any other youtube couple and they fucking broke up. i can only think of like 3 youtube couples who have a big following and are still together for the long run.

and let’s keep it real here. the reason why dan and phil don’t come out publicly as a couple for more than just “privacy” reasons, like dude you’re on social media, you’re a youtuber,,, do they know what that is?? privacy is the opposite of being a youtuber but go off i guess uh, they do it because they know if they let the big scary secret out then the whole appeal of dan and phil is gone. instead of being these wholesome dudes, they’ll be known as these guys who have literally kept their relationship under wraps for years on end to exploit their audience for coin and it will be so obvious. how would they even come out as a couple at this point? they’ve dug themselves in such a deep hole by covering everything up on and off camera that to undo it would seem pointless. you would think that ten years after being with someone you’d be comfortable enough to be genuine on camera but okay sis. . . anyways they’re gonna keep up the hype of them being together and milk it until all the phandom converts to another fandom (like bts,, oops) or maybe they’ll fucking come out in pinof 10?

probably not.

so let’s tie this in. think back to kylie jenner right? remember how every question of her pregnancy was avoided, remember how sources hinted to it? uhh remember how silence is generally the biggest indicator of said question to be proven true countless times again? uh tea

they’re actively hiding everything from you ok bye

#phan #phandom #rant #youtube #ships #otp #shane dawson can you hhhh #investigate

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cupcakeshakesnake · 7 years

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Watching The Pyramid at the End of the World for the first time

“(yes super late I know)

(Still, spoilers under the cut)

-Aw, Bill’s landed herself a date!

-I love the way the intro switches between the virtual reality and the ‘now’ reality.

-WTF WHAT’S WITH THE POLICE???

-ARE THEY HERE TO ARREST THE GAY

-”I wouldn’t even have voted for him, he’s... orange” ohhhhhhh I know who you’re talking about

-R.I.P. Bill’s date.

-Ruined by a pyramid that popped outta nowhere.

Europe looks like one big desert here

-THE GUITAR IS BACK

-And... uh... Doctor... I really don’t need that existential crisis right now...

-”Are you talking to yourself in there?” “I’m meditating!”

-Wait, that was the UN? Not UNIT?

-The United Nations apparently punched a whole in a college wall so that they could shove the TARDIS into their plane without permission.

??! child?!?!?!!????!!

-WHAT ARE YOU DOING CHILD

-??????????

-I’m so confused??

-How come a 5000 year pyramid wasn’t there yesterday? Wouldn’t that make it a 1 day old pyramid? Or it just spent 4999 years and 364 days in another place then appeared in this place?

-Dammit it’s the mummified monks again

-If their lip movement matched their words, they would just sound like “aaaaagh aggh afgh”

dat sony phone though

-This looks like a countdown.

-I don’t like countdowns.

-Countdowns are bad.

-Shit.

-SO WE’RE THREE MINUTES AWAY FROM WORLD DISASTER

-GREAT, JUST GREAT

-JUST ANOTHER NORMAL DAY IN THE WORLD OF DOCTOR WHO

soldiernapping

-He got the chinese military general-ish person too...

-I don’t know anything about military ranks

-”Contact your masters. Co-ordinate your attacks.“ Well that was unexpected

-I DON’T LIKE THE MUSIC IN THE BACKGROUND, IT’S LIKE WHEN YOU’RE PLAYING A VIDEOGAME AND YOU’RE IN A DUNGEON/CAVE PLACE RIGHT BEFORE THE BOSS FIGHT

BEAM ME UP SCOTTY

what da actual flak

That awkward ride(TM)

-I KNOW THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE SERIOUS BUT THAT CLIP JUST GOT ME LIKE, THERE’S NO MUSIC, JUST WIND NOISES AND THE MONKS ARE IN THE PLANE LIKE THEY DON’T KNOW HOW TO FLY THE THING AND IT’S SUPER AWKWARD LIKE “uhhhh so.... what do we do now”

-Well at least the pilots are fine.

-And the other people (and the missile) are fine too.

well I don’t know what this lab business is about yet, but it sure worries me

-If I were you I wouldn’t walk into a dark pyramid possibly swarming with shrunken humanoid walnuts but ye whatever

-“Great. Unless it kills us.“ “Well, you could say that about anything.”

N O W A Y O U T

-How to speak like a Monk: 1. Get asthma. 2. Groan out random mumbo jumbo. 3. Reverse the audio. 4. Get those audio editing skills, take bits of that reversed audio file and rearrange them to sound like words.

-Those glowing lines remind me a bit of the tree thing in Avatar, excEPT IT FREAKY

-"What was that?“ "Planet Earth with not a single living thing. Dead as the moon.” "You seem pretty damn calm about it.” "Do I? Oh, I'm sorry. It's not my first dead planet.“ Mmmm gotta love the tragedy

4G, 50%....? Not bad but you might wanna recharge it later.

-”Fear is temporary. Love is slavery.“

WELL SHIT

-”Well, it's been doomed before. Guess what happened? Me!”

she’s not a child

-SHE’S NOT A CHILD I AM SO SO SORRY

-I AM SO SO SO SORRY EVERYONE I THOUGHT SHE WAS A KID

-TOO MANY OMINOUS KIDS IN MY LIFE

-SORRY I LET THEM EFFECT ME

-oooOOOHHHH I SEE WHERE THE LAB IS GOING

-The yellow fluid was drained and then sprayed? on the plants and killed them all? Was that a mistake? Was the lab guy hungover?? I haven’t really been watching with rapt attention tbh

-”Sit down and Google.”

-FINALLY, THINGS ARE ‘BOUT TO GET INTERESTING

MOTHER OF RASSILON

-Okay, the Doctor hacked the screens by... nevermind

-I thought he was just touching glitchy monitors sorry

-”Being smart is not giving away your planet.”

-”What do you depend on?” “Air, water, food, beer.” Same except it’s memes instead of beer

-Many thanks to the small lady for not taking off her helmet and being a rare smart person in a fictional situation like this.

-”How did you do that? What is that thing?“ “It's Nardole. He's not my fault.“

-Damn savage af

shit he’s not gonna die is he

-”We have an air filtration system to take toxins out of the air. It runs a cycle every thirty minutes. It's going to pump the bacteria into the atmosphere.“

-THERE’s the apocalypse scenario

-Can’t the Doctor just hack the vent system with his sonic?

-nooo i don’t wanna be turned into gunk right now, steven universe is still on hiatus and there are so many plot points to be explained

-”Think. Think, think, think, think. Stupid Doctor. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Handsome Doctor. Adorable, hugely intelligent, but still approachable Doctor.“

-Ahahahahaha but yeah that’s true you are an adorable owl doctor

-What’s with the thermos

d on t tou ch

-cree py

-the monks are kinda making me uncomfortable.. in the... wrong.. context...

-welp bye bye soldiers, I guess

-”You represent the greatest power on the planet. You represent the Doctor.” oh for fluck’s sake

-”Trust me. I pop it in there. Machine goes ping. Lab goes boom. World is saved. You develop a pretty intense crush on me. Okay. Go through to the machine room. You're going to have to let me back in when I'm done.” one of those sentences is different from the others

-"Including you?“ "Not if I pull my socks up.”

-"Tell them you're flattered but don't.”

NO NO NO I DON’T, PLEASE FUCK OFF WITH YOUR CONSENTS AND YOUR POWERS AND YOUR GLOWING CABLES

-”Since I was about eight. Before that, I wanted to be a bus driver, because I liked how they waved at other bus drivers.“

-I wish I had solid dreams like that

-I still don’t know what I want to be and I’m a legal adult in two years (Like, I need to get a steady job, which in itself is easier said than done, but what kind of job, even?)

Yay! Rewind!

-I hope Erica puts her helmet back on just in case...

-3 6 1 4

-Oh shit what happened to NArddOLE HOLY FC

-”I don't understand the problem. Just open the door.” "I can't.” "Why can't you?” "Because I'm blind. I'm sorry, I'm blind. "What, what do you mean, blind? What are you talking about? "I lied. I've been blind since Chasm Forge. I didn't get my sight back. I've been lying to you. There's a combination lock with numbers, and I can't see them.” “You're an idiot. You are the stupidest idiot ever! But I'm not going to let you die.”

-n o

-no no no no no

-Okay, okay. *breathes* NO

“Enjoy your sight, Doctor. Now see our world.“

-Annnnd that wraps up this pseudo-reaction-review post thing for today! I still don’t know what I should call these! Special thanks to Steven Moffat for delivering our daily dose of dying inside!

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justinjohn · 7 years

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10 real-life photos: Women’s March: Chicago edition

I just got back from the Women’s March, Chicago contingent, and I have some cool pictures to share with you.

First and foremost, I couldn’t 1) hold a sign, 2) drink my coffee, and 3) take pictures, so I just wore a shirt that I actually independently purchased a year ago that features what appears to be an abstract rainbow on it, which is really an aerial shot of tulip fields in Holland, but you get the point. It’s just the gayest thing on the planet, and I was super self-conscious because people were looking at me and even taking pictures, which was both unintentional and unexpected, and so I just wanted to shove myself down a street sewer for a minute. And then I saw this girl and I shut the fuck up:

She is wearing a homemade vagina over her head. And loving it. Like, she assembled that at home with wiring and fabric and there’s even a pearl in the clitoris for panache. I love this shot because we’re actually looking at each other as sort of pastiches of our cause and it was just a moment of shameless celebration in each other. She’s amazing.

2. Respect your mother

I stopped people during the march when I loved their signs. I am a huge environmental advocate, and when I saw this girl walk by, I flagged her down and asked her for her picture. Her dumb friend kept trying to get in it before realizing I didn’t want her, and I think I got lucky with this one:

I signed a petition in support of the EPA, and I am going to be launching a project to help the environment, which is fashion-related, so stay tuned. It’s the least I can do in my unemployment, you know, as the world crumbles around us and the environment dies. The women’s march today was nice because no matter what you were protesting, the crowd was embracing of the cause. At one point in the march, a woman in the crowd called out, “Have a great, global-warming day!” And everyone laughed. Because it’s still funny, until polar bears are extinct and the laughter turns to tears and I kill myself.

3. Pregnant pussy power:

At first I tried to just snag a photo of this sign because it was outlined in glitter and said ‘pussy power’ in pink bubblegum letters, which I loved, and then I realized that not only was the girl holding it beautiful, but she was sporting a brilliant face tattoo, and a FUCKING BABY, strapped to her chest. Way to get out there with a newborn and make a sign with glitter on it. I couldn’t even wash my hair this morning, much less be bothered to make a painted sign. Jesus.

4. rEVOLution:

I suppose I am actually that dumb to never have realized that the word “revolution” contains the word ‘love’ spelled backwards. I guess I’m new at this whole ‘protesting’ thing, or just am not that clever. Anyway, I just loved it and how effectively the one-worded sign was displayed, so cleanly but powerfully. I mean, it looks like it’s fucking photoshopped into her hand for Christ sake. Loved it.

5. fat baby Trump and leather daddy Pence

Clearly whoever made these is a genius and deserves some sort of ‘protest advertisement’ grammy, or whatever the awards show is for this. I mean, they went through the trouble of drawing in a goddamn shirt collar and tie over the leather harness on the Pence cut-out. That was definitely going the extra mile. And that expression on Pence’s face-- it makes me uneasy, like I accidentally logged into his webcam channel. It’s just really a spot-on design. Couldn’t have done a better job myself.. with the sign that I didn’t make.

6. Painting nails

This is my favorite emoji and I use it constantly either as depicted here or as a black woman because I like the contrast of the pink nails on the darker skin. I just think this sign abstractly gets a lot across: the trump hair (just on its own) and the nails.. I just ‘get’ this protester. Also because judging by those glasses, I think he’s probably also a lady. Which, by the way, was the other problem with my goddamn sweatshirt.. I felt like a human version of one of those electric, hanging mosquito traps. All the gays were like, “Ooh, look at this little rainbow.” And, just like the sign, I was like, “I don’t think so.” Leave it to the gays to use a women’s march to cruise for men.

7. Now the real winners of the march today were the children. They were the ones that truly made this moment in history not only monumental but filled with hope. And I am about to show you why:

I just fell in love with this little girl holding this sign “NASTY woman in training.” Go get ‘em. Stand up for yourself, be strong. I am glad mommy is teaching you that you are a strong person who can accomplish anything regardless of gender and that studies show that you probably have a 2% higher IQ, on average, than your fellow counterpart, so you’re already a step ahead. Don’t ruin that with drugs or alcohol, okay honey?

And then we have this little gem, #8:

Nevermind the homeless man in the background who is looking into the camera like, “What the fuck you doing?” What? I am taking a picture of a child with a picket, motherfucker, leave me alone. Just kidding-- I didn’t even notice that until after, but it’s actually kind of hilarious, no?

Anyway, could this girl not be more adorable? 1. She matches her sign. 2. That hat. 3. It’s so sunny she can’t keep her eyes open. 4. she drew small hearts in the ‘A’ of “am” and the ‘r’ of “Future” because she's so stinking cute. And 5. She’s actually 100% right. She is the future and I am so glad she’s out there realizing that we don’t judge people by their gender or color of skin or sexual orientation. Now, scamper off you little periwinkle dream.

9. Wait till I can vote.

Maybe I am a sucker for kids that match their signs (I am now discovering), but lord Jesus what an adorable little girl with such a positive message for all of us. I like she she still struggles making a lower-case ‘a’ and I just think it’s important for people in this world to know that you are watching, listening, and learning,and you too, even at age 9, can distinguish good from sniveling, wispy haired garbage fire. Great job today, kiddo. A+.

10. Stronger Together.

I loved this photo because of all of the little tykes strung to the light post sticking out their cute signs together, but I am just looking at this to see that little child is wearing a shirt that reads, “everyone loves a brave girl” (with a temperature-sensible sweater over it in case it gets cold), which just makes me want to cry because I can’t find another emotion to express how cute I think that is. I just want to eat her up, and her facial expression is just too adorable for words, so I’m just going to move on.

to a bonus: #11. A drive-by:

I mean, it doesn’t get better than displaying a sign out of your sun roof because you’re stuck in the car. If you look at their faces, they’re laughing and having a good time because, I mean, why not?, who said you can’t protest on wheels?

Far be it from me, Mr. Rainbow.

Overall, today was a powerful day for of all of those who felt voiceless, who watched the inauguration yesterday in abject horror, whose stomaches welled up with terror, as mine did, who feared the worst. Today demonstrated that we are braver, stronger than we ever imagined, and that we won’t take this, and we will march to prove it. It’s a long road and one mired with disappointment and certainly a lot of adversity but together, we will prevail. Hope does exist.

According to the LA times, nearly 2.5 million people galvanized today in various cities throughout the United States and the rest of the globe to protest Donald Trump and his possible legislation that would marginalize women, minority groups, and LGBTQAI constituencies.

Justinthecity

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allenmendezsr · 4 years

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marketinginsights-blog1 · 7 years

Text

Have marketers and advertisers learned their lessons from 2013?

The answer is no, which makes for some great entertainment for consumers. In the digital era, everything moves at lightning speed—and sometimes that means there’s no room for common sense, copy editing or spotting glaring red flags. From tantrums to flame wars and everything in between, 2014 might just put the “mad” back into Mad Men marketing. First, there was the outburst from Adam Orth, the Creative Director of Xbox, who resigned after a Twitter kerfuffle. When users started poking fun at the Xbox One’s “always online” promise, Orth ended up tweeting everyone to just “deal with it,” complete with hashtag. Things got even worse when people pointed out the issue of less-than-solid Wi-Fi connections in more rural areas, and Orth replied, “Why on earth would I live there?” This article will give examples of a few lessons better learned vicariously as well as give you a guide to dealing with similar problems. Tesco was just horsing around When it was revealed that one of the UK’s biggest supermarkets, Tesco, was stocking hamburgers with horse meat, Twitter went electric with endless jokes. According to the Irish version of the Food and Drug Administration, the Everyday Value Beef Burgers were around 22 percent horse meat. However, Tesco had advertised their “beef” patties as wholesome and healthy sources of protein. When the tweets began swirling, Tesco stayed quiet, a tactic which may or may not have been a smart move. If you were in Tesco’s position, the savviest marketing moves could include: Staying quiet and letting the storm pass, just as Tesco did. Providing level-headed reasons why horse meat is in fact healthy (after all, it’s a delicacy in many countries). Try to bury the bad reviews with positive Tesco PR. Kellogg’s tries to feed kids with tweets The breakfast giant probably had good intentions when it tried to swap retweets for breakfasts for at-risk children. The promise was “1RT=1 breakfast for a vulnerable child.” It was part of the Give a Child a Breakfast campaign, but perhaps the constricted character count made the offer sound more blunt and cynical than it was (you need to be a great writer to pull tweeting for business off). Advertising in exchange for what could potentially be a child’s life was considered poor judgment and Kellogg’s publicly apologized. Lessons learned from this blunder include: When it comes to hot topics like child hunger or animal abuse, you can’t be too politically correct. Twitter is dangerous for tackling serious issues—there’s only so much you can squeeze into a few characters. 3. “Like” the forest fire Similar to the Kellogg’s faux pas, one of Australia’s top e-commerce sites used the devastation of a Tasmanian forest fire in an effort to publicize its Facebook page. Sellitonline.com.au offered to donate generators for electricity if the page got enough likes. “What we need you to do is get every one of your friends to join Sellitonline’s Facebook page and the more people we get will determine how many generators we donate.” In other words, if you don’t like this page, innocent Tasmanian victims are going to stay without power. This was considered bad judgment at best and bullying at worst. A better approach would have been: Offering to donate generators regardless as a means of positive PR (after all, it would have been a tax write-off anyway). Encouraging others to donate what they can and share messages as a means of collective support. Volunteering to act as the middleman to connect donors and those in need. Ask JP Morgan (Nevermind) Why pay a premium to have a financial advisor on your side when you could just #AskJPM. JPMorgan probably didn’t see the legal hurdles ahead when they dreamt up this marketing move, which was basically a Twitter-centric Q&A session. Not only were the tweets received sarcastic at best, but it opened up huge cans of worms. Lululemon’s embarrassing snafu Remember when Lululemon came out with those see-through yoga pants? It was the blame game as the founder, Chip Wilson, said it was basically the fault of women with too ample derrieres—who shouldn’t wear them in the first place. He blamed “thigh chafing” as the culprit and not subpar fabric. Apparently Wilson never learned that the customer is always right, and Lululemon backlash continued well after the see-through pants fiasco and into the insult meets injury world of “if you don’t have a thigh gap, don’t bother.” There are many lessons to be learned from Lululemon in the past couple of years, and many of them are Marketing 101 . However, they (apparently) bear repeating: Follow the golden rule in business. If you make a mistake, own up to it, change it if you can, and promise not to do it again. Make sure the company figureheads are respectable and act responsible. Chik-Fil-A’s anti-gay drama Yes, you can technically refuse service to people if you own a store, but you really shouldn’t exercise that possibility as pubilcly as did Chik-Fil-A. When the CEO of Chick-Fil-A, Dan Cathy, went public about his thoughts on gay marriage, he went to the extreme to correct his blunder. In an attempt to undo the un-doable, he “befriended” Shane Windmeyer, who’s a Campus Pride Executive Director. This brought more bad buzz for Cathy as well as for Windmeyer. Lessons to be gleaned from this: Don’t alienate what’s likely a big pool of your consumers (considering the thousands of GLBTQ Americans and those that support the cause, you’re choosing not to serve a big chunk of the population) Don’t go overboard if you do make a mistake Only fake it if it’s believable—otherwise, you’re exacerbating the matter All other gripes of Obamacare aside, yet another way the launch failed was with highly inappropriate online ads. Basically, a number of ads pushed for teens to sign up in a manner that was dubbed “degrading to women” and/or encouraged behavior that was reckless (think young men doing keg stands). It seems the government’s view of teens and young adults is weak at best. The takeaway lesson from the Obamacare ads, which have since been pulled: Think from your demographic’s actual perspective, not the perspective you “perceive” them to have (this may require more research and focus groups) Do some market research to see what target markets think. Don’t show reckless behavior if you don’t want your organization’s image tied to it. Conclusion There will always be mistakes made in advertising whether traditional or digital. After all, it’s a creative process mixed with proven best strategies. Sometimes timing is just bad (like with those “Massacre Boston” t-shirts Nike released and promptly pulled after the Boston tragedy). Sometimes you’re relying on outdated information. Other times, your marketing department just fails for any number of human reasons. Here are a few things to keep in mind to optimize your online marketing in the next year: Ask for feedback before a campaign is launched and act on the information you receive. Utilize big data, organize it, analyze it and translate it into something that works for you. If you mess up, admit to it, fix it if possible and then don’t repeat it. Even if you’re a tiny startup, the more eyes you have on a campaign, the better. By Larry Alton Author Bio: Larry Alton is an independent business consultant specializing in social media trends, business, and entrepreneurship.

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