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shadows-of-a-memory · 2 months

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i don’t need a roof - e.u.

trigger warning: none song: i don't need a roof author's note: closer to an imagine than a fic gary "eggsy" unwin masterlist

It's the sounds that wake you, finding Eggsy tossing and turning and struggling to breathe. "Eggsy?!" You exclaim, moving to your husband's side as quickly as you can. "Honey, what's wrong? What happened?"

"I was-" he pants, "drowning- hngh-" Your hands flutter frantically about him, not processing his words, trying to deduce the source of pain. He clutches tightly at his side, strands of wet hair falling over his face. "It all-" he grunts again, "-got kinda blurry."

He shifts slightly, laying on his uninjured side and propped up on his elbow beside you, head in your lap. Your hands come to rub his shoulders gently, concern never dissipating, but knowing he needs you to be strong.

Your breath is shaky. "You're right here with me," you comfort, breathing coming hard for the both of you as your hearts slow their running. In the relative silence, you can both hear the rain pitter-pattering outside.

in your face

"I finished-" he pauses, "the roof. Reshingling it." Another pause as he breathes through the pain. "Before this happened."

i see a lifetime

You nod, knowing what he means by 'this'. A simple infiltration quickly gone awry, due to a mole in kingsman compromising your covers. You had both fought to the end, but your resources were finite... and your target and captor, an organization known as Octa, had what seemed like infinite resources. And infinite cannon fodder.

in this place

Which brings you to now. You hadn't suffered much, as it was a deeply misogynistic group with the perspective of "how much trouble can she be, she's a woman"; but Eggsy had only gotten thrown back in your little cell around two hours ago, after what felt like at least a day of torture. It's probably shorter than that, as you have no way to measure time, but still. He's been waterboarded, beaten, whipped, and you think a few of his ribs to be broken as well. On top of that, he took a bullet—to the leg, nothing too crazy—in the fight beforehand. Overall, not the greatest condition. You've got a few bruises and wounds yourself, but nowhere near what he's dealing with.

i feel at ease

Belatedly, you realize you forgot to respond, and he can't see your head moving. "Yeah?" You confirm quietly.

wallpaper peeling, paint wearing thin

"The account has... ten years' rent in it..." Eggsy's chest heaves with the exertion of speaking. "You'll be fine."

No, you want to scream, No, I won't, I can't be, not without you, but you don't. Because he needs you to be strong. Because if you can't make yourself to be strong, he won't allow himself to be weak.

"Ah!" He hisses, turning slightly and to press his opposite fist into the ground and lift himself just barely, attempting to alleviate some of the pressure. "Sorry, luv- shouldn't've said- that-"

You take care as you help him sit up, clasping one of his hands in yours and supporting him as much as you can. You bend your head, trying to meet his eyes, and release his hand to cup his face with the one of yours not holding him up.

here's where i end and begin

"I don't need a roof to say I'm covered," you promise. "I don't need a roof to know I'm home." He leans forward slightly, most of his bodyweight transferring to you, but you don't budge. Your hand moves to the nape of his neck, playing slightly with his hair.

there could be a single shingle-dangling overhead

"Close your eyes," you encourage, feeling the struggle to try and support himself again. "I'm still beside you."

i don't need a roof to make my bed

Eggsy falls once more, shuddering against you. "I'm sorr-"

"No," you interrupt quietly. You can hear the rattle in his voice; can hear how much it takes for even those two syllables. You know he's probably punctured a lung; know that, at this point, it's a question of whether that or the blood loss will kill him first. You know your husband doesn't have long and it takes everything in you to keep the tremor out of your voice when you speak again. "No goodbyes needed today."

With that, the two of you sit, you humming a soft lullaby as rain patters down, the only other sound Eggsy's ragged breathing. If you close your eyes, you can almost imagine you're back at home, cuddling on the couch together with JB annoying your husband and a book in your hands.

hear what the rain says, know what it knows

You can almost hear yourself complaining about how messy your hair will be. Can almost hear Eggsy's response everytime you do. "Look on the brightside, luv. After the rain, something grows."

You can picture the happier times. Picture you and him in the kitchen, trying to make brownie batter but interrupted by your husband's decision that it's the perfect time to dance. Picture his arms wrapping around your waist, swatting them away, only to have the whisk removed as he twirls you to face him, positioning the two of you to sway to whatever song he put on.

i don't need a legal deed

You don't know when your offhanded humming turned to a melody line to the words—quiet ones, but words nonetheless—of your first dance song. "I don't need a roof to say I love you / I don't need a roof to call you mine / I don't need adventure in some far away frontier / I don't need a roof to feel you near."

to help me play my part

Eggsy is apparently still conscious, as he taps in morse code along your thigh, your singing falling off as you concentrate on the message. Dot dot long pause dot dash dot dot pause dash dash dash pause dot dot dot dash pause dot long pause dash dot dash dash pause dash dash dash pause dot dot dash. I L-O-V-E Y-O-U.

"I love you, too, Eggs." Your mind flashes to promises you've made over time to him. "All I need is you and you forever; All I feel is true and absolute."

His hand squeezes yours, and the pressure travels up to your heart, to your throat, choking out your life with each millimeter his slips away. You try to lay him down, but another squeeze stops you, an implicit let me stay this way. Your husband tilts his head up, meeting your eyes for the first time since you started supporting him, and you can't control the slight gasp at the blood that comes out as he coughs. In what appears to be extreme effort, and probably takes even more than is shown, he lifts his hand to cup your face.

His voice comes out as a whisper, each syllable formed determinedly, distinctly, desperately. "I don't- cough need- pant a ro- pant a roof to- cough hold- cough cough my he- pant heart," he whispers, finishing the line.

A tear slips down your cheek, closing your eyes to keep its siblings in. You feel it wiped away gently, Eggsy collapsing once more against you. You rub his shoulders, trying to impart what little comfort you can. You don’t trust yourself to open your mouth, worried that the sobs clawing their way up your throat will take it as an opportunity.

At some point, sitting there holding him—maybe milliseconds, maybe minutes, maybe days later, what feels like the blink of an eye and an eternity wrapped into one—you feel him inhale shakily against your breast with no exhale to follow, hand going limp against your thigh and body going heaver still.

“No,” you choke out, not sure if it comes out as a scream or a whisper, if your vocal chords will ever work again, as it feels he’s taken all speech with him. You lay him down gently, his eyes already closed, clutching his hand as if it’s a lifeline. You have the presence of mind to know CPR will have no effect, instead grabbing his other hand, limp but warm, and pulling it to your cheek.

“Stay with me,” you plead. “Eggs, please, please, just stay with me.”

You don’t know how long you babble, words turning indecipherable as they’re overtaken by guy-wrenching sobs. “Please, please.”

Your throat raw, you eventually stop, wiping the blood from his lips and pressing a final kiss to them. Your vigil turns silent, staring, willing at him to heal and return to you, but it doesn’t happen. You don’t notice yourself falling asleep until it happens, chilled to the bone—and all you can hope is that, maybe in the morning. you’ll be with him again under a new roof.

And when you wake curled up beside a corpse, having burrowed into him subconsciously in your sleep, your heart breaks all over again.

Roofless.

#by no means my best work #honestly near my worst #but still #eggsy unwin fics #eggsy unwin x reader #eggsy x reader #kingsman fics #kingsman #gary unwin x reader

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tickle-bugs · 7 months

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The Ol' Kentucky Welcome

Summary: Eggsy’s attitude gets him into trouble at Statesman HQ. Whiskey and Tequila show him how they handle mouthy recruits with too much pride.

Anon: Hey! Love your work. I was trying to think of something I haven't read. So, kingsman and golden circle. Maybe eggsy, whiskey, and Tatum s characters get real drunk one night, start teasing each other and a full out brawl of a tickle fight happens!!! You can do it!!! Thanks!

Loose handwaving at and spoilers for Kingsman: The Golden Circle.

Becoming a Kingsman had done wonders for Eggsy’s impulse control and sense of self. He’s got restraint now, and better judgement—he doesn’t blindly chase a whim without considering the consequences first.

This is what he tells himself as he poaches a bottle of premium Statesman Reserve whiskey from a supply closet rather ominously labeled ‘This Ain’t For Sharing, Friend’. He makes sure to shuffle the bottles to disguise the large gap left behind on the shelf.

He settles in at the Statesman briefing room table, loosening his tie and shirt collar. He unbuttons his jacket and, in a rare flash of bad manners, kicks his feet up onto one of the nearby chairs.

The thought of Harry scolding him for it tugs at chest.

“Now what do we have here?” Whiskey whistles lowly, ducking into the doorway. Tequila fits in beside him. Eggsy gives a mocking salute before popping the cork on the bottle. He grabs a polished crystal glass from a platter on the table and pours himself a hefty bit.

“Looks to me like we’ve got a thief, Whiskey.” Tequila arches his brow. “Y’ain’t learned your lesson yet, Galahad?”

“Gentlemen.” Eggsy smirks and lifts his glass. The sharp kiss of the liquor burns his tongue, but it washes back with a smoky smoothness unlike anything he'd ever tried. He smacks his lips loudly, enjoying the slight twitch of Whiskey’s eyebrow in response.

“Thought you fancy-types were supposed to be polite.” Whiskey puts his hands on his hips.

“And I thought you brutish types couldn’t make something so delicious.” Eggsy angles the glass in the light. The liquid seems to glow.

Tequila ducks past Whiskey and takes a seat at the table, helping himself to a glass. He clinks glasses with Eggsy and they share another sip. Both of them sigh in unison, sinking deeper into their chairs. Whiskey throws Eggsy’s feet off his chair and takes a seat.

“You’re lucky I ain’t reportin’ you to Ginger Ale for theft.” Whiskey fixes himself a glass. He takes off his hat and rests it on the table. He shrugs off his jacket, draping it over the back of the chair.

“Report me for what?” Eggsy cocks his head. “You fine, upstanding gentlemen cracked open a bottle of your own reserve to share with your guest and I just had to say yes. Would hate to be impolite.”

Whiskey glares. Eggsy sips innocently.

“I like this motherfucker, Whiskey.” Tequila laughs, muffling himself in his fist. Whiskey shifts his glare.

“‘Course you do. You can’t keep your mug outta trouble to save your life.”

“Least my mug ain’t ugly,” Tequila grumbles. Eggsy snorts. Whiskey turns to fish for a pack of cigarettes in his jacket pocket. As he leans forward, a silver shine peeks out of his pants pocket. Eggsy gently plucks a shiny lighter from Whiskey’s pocket and tucks it into his own.

“Champagne mentioned you’re a cheeky bugger.” Eggsy knocks shoulders with Tequila and winks.

“I dunno what that means.” Tequila frowns. They both watch Whiskey fumble around for the lost lighter and keep smooth, straight expressions.

“You get into shit. He’s fond of you?” Eggsy gestures at him. Tequila nods.

“Yeah, well…he wasn’t always. I’ve always been a bit of a firecracker. Didn’t make the best choices. Got people hurt. Built up a reputation for bein’ a problem, and Champagne started makin’ me own it.” Tequila watches his whiskey swirl in his glass. Eggsy hums thoughtfully.

“Sounds like Harry. He didn’t let me get away with shit. If I did something reckless, it was my arse on the line. But sometimes it paid off.” Eggsy smiles and thinks of stealing Harry’s cab on his way out of initiation.

“To good mentors.” Tequila inclines his head respectfully and raises his glass. Eggsy clinks their glasses together.

The three of them pass the time draining the bottle and looking out over the twinkling lights of the distillery buildings. A boyish mischief settles into Tequila, one that grows as the liquor in the bottle sinks. Whiskey starts to slur his words, but he maintains a hunter’s focus.

“Tell me somethin’, Eggsy. What brought you to Kingsman?” Whiskey watches him over the rim of his glass. His stare is piercing.

“Hm. Harry did. Not so different from Tequila, I reckon. I’d made a right fuckin’ mess and Harry saved me from it. Gave me a job. He saw something in me that no one else did.” Eggsy traces his fingers along the edge of his cup. He glances absently towards Harry’s cell and sighs quickly. Whiskey follows his gaze.

“Did your lepidopterist friend teach you to have sticky fingers, or do you just like causin’ problems?” Whiskey holds his hand out. Eggsy rolls his eyes and hands over the stolen lighter.

“I’ve always been good at nicking things. S’fun.” Eggsy grins and produces Whiskey’s wallet. Whiskey grumbles under his breath and snatches it.

“Feels like you’re the only one of your people that ain’t all hoity-toity. What other secrets are you hiding?” Tequila leans forward. The question grates against Eggsy’s better instincts. He searches Tequila’s face for the slightest bit of ill will. All that sticks is the way light catches softly on his eyes. Eggsy hums and turns his eyes to the ceiling to think.

“Well, my girlfriend bein’ a princess isn’t much of a secret anymore, so…I was a gymnast for a bit.” Eggsy grins. Tequila’s eyes light up and he starts snapping in Whiskey’s direction. For each snap, Whiskey gives a disgruntled hm until eventually they’re just swatting at each other.

“Whiskey, don’t we have them flippy bars down in the gym?” Tequila sniffs, blinking as the liquor hits his sinuses. Eggsy perks up. A spark of excitement picks up atop the warm flush of liquor in his stomach.

“We do. For Statesman agents. Y’know Rum and Cognac get real touchy ‘bout their stuff.” Whiskey raises an eyebrow.

“Well, we’re workin’ together now, ain’t we? ‘Sides, Rum and Cognac ain’t here. Let’s walk him down there. I wanna see what he can do.” Tequila claps Eggsy on the shoulder. Eggsy gives his best winning smile. Whiskey grumbles, then downs the rest of his glass.

“Fuck it. Fine. Five minutes.”

…

They stumble down to the Statesman training facility, passing by a very tired Ginger Ale who opts not to ask why Eggsy’s wearing Tequila’s hat (pretty simple, it’s ‘cause he nicked it). Whiskey puts his thumb to a scanner and the wall unfolds for them.

The lights click on in rows, lighting the industrial space. Eggsy gasps like a kid on Christmas morning.

Sophisticated weight training and combat equipment sit in neat rows. Eggsy locks in directly past that, drifting unconsciously towards a heaping pile of chalk bags. Pommel horses, beams, bars, and hanging rings sprawl out on a spring mat, all in pristine condition. A few launchpads and trampolines lay near the equipment. Eggsy laughs incredulously as he takes it in. Nostalgia flutters in his chest.

Eggsy immediately unbuttons his shirt, folding it cleanly and crisply. He shoves it and the cowboy hat into Tequila’s arms, adjusts his tank top, then works to unlace his shoes. The moment his feet are free, he sprints for one of the springboards. He hits it clean, just like he’d learned, and pushes off the vault, twisting through the air. His landing is a bit messy, but it’s functional, and he takes off to the parallel bars next.

The alcohol writhes in his system, but he doesn’t care. How can he? It’s been years. Coach’d told him he was good enough for the fucking Olympics and he hadn’t touched a set of bars since. The flex of the bars is a comfort to him. He flips and twirls, holding crisp handstands and tucks through muscle memory alone.

He dismounts beautifully from the parallel bars to the pleasant thrum of adrenaline and a smattering of applause.

“Hoowee, that was somethin’!” Tequila ruffles Eggsy’s hair, destroying the last hold of the gel on his head. Eggsy laughs and swats him away.

“Hats off to you, kid. Takes a lot of skill to pull that off.” Whiskey nods in respect. Eggsy returns it.

“I ain’t gonna lie, I thought you were gonna fall on your ass. I’m impressed.” Tequila slugs his shoulder with a brassy laugh.

“Thanks, Tequila.” Eggsy grins roguishly. “Mind givin’ me a boost?”

“Sure.” Tequila follows Eggsy over to the high bar. Whiskey loudly clears his throat.

“Boys, this has been…eye-openin’, but we really should get goin’. Early start tomorrow, I imagine. And this one’ll be fit to collapse when the time difference catches up.” Whiskey inclines his head towards Eggsy.

“Sorry, bruv? Can’t hear you all the way over there.” Eggsy gestures to his ear with a cheeky grin.

“I said—“

“No, no. If you have something to say, come whisper it in my fucking ear.” Eggsy snickers, hearing Merlin’s voice in his head. Whiskey rolls his eyes and saunters over.

“Look, I respect you ‘cause Champagne respects you. Other than that, you’re still a brat that oughta fall into line. Let’s turn in for the night. Both of you.” Whiskey raises his eyebrow. The honey tones of his voice make his annoyance all the more amusing.

“What’re you gonna do about it? Get me with your skipping rope?” Eggsy smirks. Tequila mutters a quiet aw hell and takes a step back.

“Maybe I will, you little shit.”

Eggsy comes to terms with a number of things about himself in that moment, and he puts them all away to process sober. Instead, he gestures for Tequila to give him a hand and reaches up for the bar.

Tequila picks him up by the waist, and it’s not the smooth, assisted lift he’s used to. It’s the clumsy grip of a drunk surprised by weight. Tequila does lift Eggsy up to the bar, but at the cost of his dignity— he spasms and makes a high-pitched noise when Tequila’s fingers press into his waist.

In hindsight, he should’ve seen the way Whiskey’s eyes narrowed at that.

“What the hell was that?” Tequila squints up at him.

“Nothin’. Thought you were gonna drop me. Bugger off.” Eggsy kicks weakly in Tequila’s direction. He backs up, hands raised. Whiskey steps in, hands on his belt.

“Get off the bar, Eggsy.” Whiskey sniffs authoritatively. The logical Kingsman agent buried in Eggsy’s brain sets off warning bells, but Drunk Eggsy, who is obviously of much sounder mind, ignores it.

“Make me, Whiskey.” Eggsy starts to swing in the space he has. Not enough to kick anyone, but enough to look like he will. He manages to rotate clumsily around the bar once, then hangs back down in front of Whiskey.

“You want me to embarrass you in front of your new friend? Okay.” Whiskey steps up to Eggsy and makes a show of sizing him up. Then, quicker than the draw of his pistols, his hands latch onto Eggsy’s sides and squeeze until he’s screaming and plummeting off the bar. Eggsy’s short life flashes before his eyes as he falls bodily into Tequila’s arms.

“Are you fucking mental?” Eggsy goes to shove Whiskey, but Tequila holds him back.

“Woah, watch that mouth of yours!” Whiskey laughs, eyes glittering. “You told me to make you. Your wish is my command, friend.”

Eggsy kicks, trying to break Tequila's hold, and he catches Whiskey right in the balls. He makes a noise like a wounded donkey and folds over. Eggsy snickers. Whiskey whips his reddening face up and glares.

“Now you’ve done it. Tequila!” Whiskey tosses something his way and he catches it. Eggsy barely has time to react before his arms are bound and hoisted in the air above his head. His toes brush the ground. The bar above him creaks in protest but does not give.

Whiskey puts his hands on his hips again. Eggsy wonders if that’s a cowboy thing or an American one.

“Skippin’ rope, bitch.” Whiskey grins, sharklike. “Now…you done with the whole insubordination routine or am I gonna have to give you the ol’ Kentucky Welcome?”

Eggsy snorts derisively. He tests his bindings. They hold steady. Fear starts to pierce through his liquid courage.

“I’m honored, bruv, but I’m in a committed relationship—“

Whiskey clicks his tongue and crowds into Eggsy’s space. He immediately steels himself for violence—what else would there be besides violence? He’s been jumped before. He’s no stranger to the predatory tilt of Whiskey’s head. He sets his jaw and glares.

“When Tequila first joined up, he carried a bit of them clownin’ instincts with him. That didn’t fly with Champagne. We had to figure out a way to take him down a few pegs without hurtin’ him. So, the Kentucky Welcome was born.”

“Aw, fuck you, Whiskey. Seriously, man.” Tequila pipes up from behind Eggsy.

“What does this have to do with me? I know you Americans love to hear yourself talk, but I’m not interested.” Eggsy tries to pull free. Nothing. Whiskey’s gaze gets softer, more mischievous. The change is deeply unnerving.

“Well, you remind me of Tequila. You’ve clearly got a good head on your shoulders, but you’re a little shit. So I’m gonna deal with you the same way we used to deal with him. Last chance, kid. You comin’ quietly or are we gonna have to drag you?”

Eggsy flinches when Whiskey reaches for him—years of habit die hard—and prepares himself for the hard crunch of knuckles into his ribs. Instead, he’s met with a gentle and persistent scritching.

A confused noise bubbles up at the back of Eggsy’s throat, quickly chased by a wobbly smile. He ducks his head and bites his lip.

Oh what the fuck?

Kingsman had taught him to resist the most painful and stressful of scenarios, but they’d never taught him what to do about this. Tilde’s maybe the only person who knows that he’s ticklish, and even then…he can convince her to let him go by kissing her senseless. Eggsy doubts that’ll work here.

“Uh oh, Galahad. Don’t tell me something’s botherin’ you?” Whiskey presses an insincere hand to his heart. Eggsy’s brain stutters for a moment as he realizes that Tequila’s the one scratching at his ribs.

“Fffffuck you.” Eggsy exhales sharply through his nose and closes his eyes--nope, that’s worse. So much worse.

Whiskey tickles under his arms and Eggsy yelps, bright laughter tumbling after. It shouldn’t be this bad—Tilde’s done far worse to him in jest, but somehow the teasing grin of his begrudging allies gets under his skin. His arms flex as he tries to pull himself up and away, but his strength collapses with every breath.

“Aw, y’all are twins.” Whiskey leans around Eggsy to smirk at Tequila.

“Whiskey.” Tequila’s languished tone being hilarious really doesn’t help things. Eggsy’s entire face scrunches as he tries to find his way back towards composure. A hiccup sneaks into his chest, and then he’s giggling incessantly. His chest feels like the sparklers he’d run around with as a kid, bright and fizzling and dissolving with every breath.

“Y’know, I wish I had tried this when I first caught y’all. Prolly woulda gone a hell of a lot faster.” Tequila’s voice floats past Eggsy’s ear. Eggsy manages a giggly growl and a halfhearted headbutt in his direction. Tequila tuts at him and folds his fingers into Eggsy’s waistline.

He makes a noise at a pitch that threatens to shatter every lightbulb in the room. Tequila’s calloused fingers strum Eggsy’s nerves like guitar strings and it tickles, fucking shit—

Tequila hooks his fingers just so and Eggsy kicks. Whiskey snags his ankle before a second devastating impact can occur. They make tortuous eye contact.

“Whiskey—“ Eggsy attempts to appeal to the cowboy’s humanity with what Merlin fondly calls his nuclear puppy eyes.

Grinning wickedly, Whiskey shakes his head and reaches for his trapped foot.

Eggsy’s eyes bug out of his head.

He wrenches his leg free, twists his hands, and flips upwards. Managing a gold-worthy handstand into a dismount, he frees his wrists and lands smoothly. Eggsy playfully curtsies. Tequila starts to clap. Whiskey smacks him upside the head.

“Alright, I’m done playin’ around. Grab him. If we’re caught down here at this hour it’ll be my hide.” Whiskey gestures for Tequila to step in. He does so, still a little off-kilter from the liquor.

Eggsy rushes in, expecting a clumsier rendition of the fighting style he’d been so painfully introduced to. Instead, Tequila smoothly blocks his blows and hoists Eggsy over his shoulder like a sack of fucking potatoes. One of his arms locks behind Eggsy’s thighs as they start to walk for the door. It takes him a moment to even process being upside-down. The sway of Tequila’s gait shakes some blood into his brain.

“Aw, y’all are twins.”

“—deal with you the same way we used to deal with him—“

A lightbulb clicks on in Eggsy’s head. He shouldn’t…but he could…but he shouldn’t—

He shoves his hands under Tequila’s arms. Before he can blink or breathe, they’re in a heap on the ground. Tequila’s cackling dead weight presses the air from Eggsy’s chest.

“Thought you’d put up more of a fight, bruv.” Eggsy’s eyebrows raise. Tequila shrieks at him in response. Eggsy manages to wiggle free and hop lightly to his feet as Tequila gathers his wits.

“There’s one of you and two of us. Be wise.” Whiskey cracks his neck. Eggsy looks over at Tequila and smirks devilishly. Tequila pales.

“I like those odds.”

The flurry of motion as they charge each other sets off the ‘fight’ center in his brain, but there is some comfort in knowing no harm is on the table. Eggsy flips and twists out of their grasp, taking advantage of his flexibility to pull off increasingly ridiculous dodges. He neatly sweeps both Whiskey and Tequila’s legs out from under them.

“Little help?” Whiskey gestures lamely at Tequila.

“Nah, I’m done. Y’all are nuts.” Tequila lays on his back, putting his hat down over his face. He folds his arms behind his head. Whiskey curses at him. Tequila gives him the finger.

Whiskey grabs Eggsy by the back of the shirt--really, he should know better--and Eggsy sweeps him again. Whiskey’s ready for it this time, though, and he manages a pin faster than Eggsy can roll away. Whiskey plants himself on Eggsy’s back like he’s settling on a bull.

“Aren’t you tired? Goddamn.” Whiskey sighs. Eggsy winces at the texture of the mat against his cheek.

It reminds him of Roxy and agonizing training sessions, of hours of sweat and bruising and his face stinging from being slammed into the mat. Even past the wave of grief, he remembers the shape of her smile when she would lecture him about letting her pin him on his stomach.

“Indefensible,” she’d say, prodding the back of his ribs. “You’re a sitting duck like this.”

And every time he’d roll his eyes, hooking his fingers behind her knees--

Oh. Hm.

As best as he can, he reaches back and latches onto Whiskey’s thigh, squeezing just above his knee. Whiskey hollers and tries to phase right through the floor. Eggsy rolls them over and pursues, squeezing and squeezing until Whiskey is a wheezing pile on the floor.

Eggsy flips onto his feet. He knows he’s imagining the fond, ghostly squeeze on his shoulder, but he puts his hand on the spot anyways.

“Now I’m tired. Goodnight, fellas.” Eggsy salutes with a wide grin, stepping over both cowboys. He gathers his belongings and saunters for the door, whistling pleasantly.

Whiskey rubs a hand over his face as he stares up at the ceiling.

“Kid’s fuckin’ lucky I like him,” Whiskey grumbles, pushing himself up onto his elbows.

“Might not wanna speak too soon. He took your hat.” Tequila puts his own ten-gallon back on his head and gestures towards the door with a whistle. Whiskey growls and shoots to his feet.

“Motherfucker! Eggsy!”

#my fics #this fic truly wrote itself. i blacked out and it just happened #and then i realized i didnt properly read the prompt and then rewrote it lol #is this good? *vague mumbling and shrugging*. did i have fun? absolutely #kingsman #ticklish!eggsy #eggsy unwin #ticklish!whiskey #agent whiskey #ticklish!tequila #agent tequila #<- contenders for some of my silliest tags #theres an au in my head where roxy merlin eggsy and harry play cowboy with the statesman agents for a while #mostly bc i want cowboy roxy...#anyways ive wanted to write kingsman forever! thx for the prompt hope you enjoy <3 #also anon 'you can do it!!! thanks!!!' has been in my head since you sent the prompt. like yea i CAN do it!!! thank YOU!!!!

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kingsmint · 10 months

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HOLY SHIT I JUST REMEMBERED A HC I HAD TO SHARE BECAUSE IT CAME UP IN MY MIND ONE DAY AND IT DIDNT STOP BOTHERING ME.

Both Harry, Merlin and possibly any other agent must have had really close contact with explosions at one point right? Especially Harry because if I remember correctly, in the first movie, he was saved by a grenade in 1997, and then blown up by his own grenade while escaping the university and then the church scene, AND THEN in the golden circle where Merlin blew up. (i still refuse that merlin died so he’s alive and im being delusional shh). He could literally by hard of hearing, almost deaf, or have tinnitus.

Merlin as well but not a lot since he was just behind the desk, but when he exploded (and survived.) he most likely had some acoustic trauma as well.

EVEN EGGSY CAN YOU IMAGINE?? Even though bro was a field agent for a little while having done a few missions (evident in the golden circle when he pins his own newspaper articles on harry’s wall) being in the field often enough he would eventually also have acoustic trauma.

So literally almost everyone at kingsman wear hearing aids and has learned sign language and learning sign language has become mandatory for training ever since Harry began his reign as Arthur. Agents also had to get specially designed hearing aids from medical and R&D when it gets b a d. Since the glasses also has a microphone implemented in them, Merlin upgraded them so that live translation/subtitles could appear. (it became extremely useful for missions but the microphone can only pick up so far, yknow?)

#kingsman headcanons #kingsman #harry hart #merlin kingsman #eggsy unwin #headcanon #genuinely going to need a fic for this #please #it’s a must-

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drabbles-mc · 1 month

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Third Floor

Eggsy Unwin & GN!Reader

Warnings: 18+, language

With the help of This Prompt List by @creativepromptsforwriting and my trusty Wheel of Names with every character I’ve ever written for, I’m aiming to write a fic in 500 words or less every day of March.

Prompt: rabbit

Word Count: 300

A/N: I've been writing Kingsman Fics for essentially 10 years at this point and this is the first time I've ever written readerfic for it. I don't know what else to say! I'd kill a man for Eggsy Unwin.

The only thing that Eggsy could hear over the blood rushing in his ears was the sound of his feet every time they struck the concrete. His arms and legs felt like they were moving of their own accord, doing whatever it took to keep him safe, to let him live to fight another day.

The footsteps behind him began to slow, but it didn’t stop Rottweiler from calling out after him, “Can’t run away from us forever, you know! Fuckin’ rabbit hops will only get you so far!”

Eggsy knew he was right, but it was working for now. Racing along the string of upper balconies, he got to the very end of the building before finally making himself skid to a stop. He crouched down and allowed himself a couple beats, hoping to get his breathing somewhat back to normal before he asked you to let him in again. Always the stray landing on your doorstep, or rather, windowsill.

When he heard the ruckus starting to pick back up down below again he knew he didn’t have any time to waste. Rapping his knuckles against your window, he only had to wait a few seconds before he heard you twisting the lock from inside.

Pushing the glass upward, you stuck your head out. “Biggest fuckin’ pigeon I’ve ever seen!” you joked.

He laughed, and you watched him shake his head, little beads of sweat starting to drop down the sides of his face. “Very funny.”

You popped the window open a little bit more to make it easier for him, stepping back and to the side so he could slip in as smoothly as possible. “Come on, then. Got your nest ready for you and everything.”

He hopped in and shut the window behind him. “Thanks for that.”

#eggsy unwin #gary unwin #kingsman #kingsman fanfiction #eggsy unwin fanfiction #eggsy unwin x reader #eggsy unwin x you #x reader #x reader fic #my writing #fanfiction #drabblesmc

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annaofaza · 1 year

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When Harry comes back from Kentucky during one of the biggest downpours Britain has seen, Eggsy can’t quite believe it.

They’d just called off the search when the Statesman contacted them about a mysterious homeless man who wandered into their base and strongly resembled the late Galahad. Merlin told everyone (notably, Eggsy) to not jump to conclusions, but after five minutes of talking to the stranger via glasses, the quartermaster began preparations for Harry Hart to return home.

Harry looks worse for wear, bundled up in a suit and overcoat that didn’t quite fit him and what could be accurately called an eye patch. He also hobbles on a cane, gait unsteady and right hand trembling, only speaking when Merlin asks him direct questions. Eggsy stands back, wanting to rush forward and embrace him, but sensed it isn’t the right time.

Gone is the confident gentleman who could take out five people in a bar under ten minutes. Instead, once Harry gets settled in one of the hospital beds, Eggsy could see the very exhausted, very mortal man.

“The doctors are just going to run some brief tests, and then you can sleep,” Merlin says.

Harry closes his eyes, resting his head on the pillow. “That sounds very good right now, though,” he adds, “it would be nice to sleep in my own bed.”

“I don’t think you’re quite up to it now,” Merlin replies. “But, yes, that can be arranged. Eggsy, you don’t mind, do you?”

“It’s his house,” Eggsy says. He wondered, very briefly, what the process was when a formerly dead occupant returned to reclaim his property.

“You’re living in my house?” Harry turns, turning to Eggsy at last.

“Yes, I can move if you like...” Eggsy begins, but Harry shakes his head.

“I thought Edward would inherit it,” he murmurs.

“No, Harry,” Merlin says, voice gentle. “He didn’t...”

Harry turns away. “Of course,” he murmurs softly. “A great many people died that day.”

“Harry,” Merlin begins, but Harry shakes his head.

“No, it’s like you said,” he interrupts. “We’ve all lost people.”

“Do you want something for the pain, Galahad?” the doctor asks.

Harry shakes his head. “No,” he says. “Nothing that will...something less stronger.”

The doctor hesitates. “Not morphine, then,” she says. “But maybe some tablets?”

“He would have been twenty-three today,” Harry says, almost dreamily. His hand cranes upward, fitting itself over Eggsy’s shoulder.

Eggsy doesn’t dare move. “Who?” he asks.

Harry’s eyes close. “My son,” he whispers.

#hartwin #kingsman #harry hart #eggsy unwin #my fic #yeahhhh sorry #super old fic draft that I had to share lol

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to-proudly-go · 6 months

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Sunday/Fic snip!

Thank you @spikybanana for the tag! It's technically Monday where I am but I'm still gonna post this one 😂

This is a Hartwin wip!!

----

In a rare moment of inelegance, Roxy flapped her arms up and down, exasperated at Eggsy’s sheer bullheadedness. “If you don’t call that being head over poison-tipped Oxfords for you then what else could it be?”

Eggsy, the lovable idiot, just shrugged. “Indigestion? Or maybe diarrhea, I think he had the runs this morning.”

Roxy stared at him for a long, hard moment. When Eggsy started to squirm underneath her gaze, she whipped her phone out of her coat, pressed a few buttons, and brought it up to her ear. “Merlin? Merlin, we have a problem. I can’t deal with this.”

The phone’s speaker crackled with a sigh. “Ah. It seems like we find ourselves in the same circumstances, Lancelot.”

“Harry too?”

“Yes.”

“Goddamnit.”

“Um, Rox? What--”

She snapped her hand up and raised her index finger threateningly. Eggsy shut his mouth.

Roxy sighed. “Alright, then. Should we proceed with Plan B?”

“I believe it would be wise. Will fifteen minutes be enough?”

“Let’s make it twenty to be sure.”

“Fine by me.”

Roxy ended the call. She sighed once more and pinched the bridge of her nose, sensing an incoming headache.

The headache shuffled close to her, unsure of his welcome after Roxy’s admonishment. Before he could utter another word, however, Roxy grabbed Eggsy’s sleeve and began herding him away (more like dragging, if you asked Eggsy, but he was currently spluttering as his best mate started herding him someplace.)

“Roxy! What the hell is going on—stop that, you’re wrinkling my suit!”

“Shut up and follow,” Roxy growled.

Eggsy wisely shut up and followed.

-------

“He thought that Eggsy was blushing because of indigestion, Roxy. Who blushes because of that?” Merlin groaned, thumb and index finger coming together to massage the aching area between his brows. Roxy could relate.

“Oh my God. Eggsy said the same thing.”

“I don’t know what to do anymore with these oblivious idiots.”

---

No pressure to do the game!! @tideswept @mischievouschan4

#i titled this fic idiots in oxfords #it seemed very fitting #kingsman #hartwin #hartwin fic wip #harry hart #eggsy unwin

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simphq · 1 year

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Hi so im posting my storys from wattpad to here x wattpad: 3mily_xx

Taron Egerton Imagine! Pt1

Dating Taron does but doesn't feel like a relationship. Get what i mean? Anyway heres some bullet points on what dating Taron would be like!

⚠️Im British so some words may be different for you⚠️

• Life as a actor means working non stop and having very little time to yourself,but when you and Taron have time to spend together it usually involves a day in bed.Cuddling up with one and other and watching a film of your your choice,you would also get you and Tarons fav takeout!

•You would visit the sets that Taron is working on which means meeting new people and making a-lot of friends!

•You and Taron have similar friends like Richard madden,Jamie Bell,Sofie Cookson ect!

•You and Taron have alot of different nicknames for each other!

Tarons nicknames for you:

•Love

•darling,(y,n,n)

•baby

•angel

•sweetheart

•cariad~ welsh for love/lover

•precious

Your nicknames for Taron!

•bubs

•honey

•dear

•Love

•T

•boo

•Hubby~if/when ur married

•There is always music playing weather its some songs from 70's or 80's. Or David Bowie or Elton John or even The Beatles,Taron and you always sing along.And of course Dancing that may or maybe lead to a make out session.

•When Taron is alway filming your feel a little sad and alone,But Taron makes sure to call or text you when he can telling you c everything thats he has been doing and sending pictures of his costumes!(Some make you burst out laughing)😂

•Taron is a family man! He loves his mum,step dad and little sisters and They love him too! His sisters adore you and look up to you lot.When you and Taron visit you spend lots of time with them all, weather thats having walks along the beach on a warm summers day or playing Mario cart with them in the winter, or drawing one and other You all have so much fun and Taron adores to watch you laugh and play with his younger sisters. It Makes him want to start a family with you but he knows not is not the right time!

•Taron and you always make each-other laugh

•When his mum calls him she always asked how you are and wants to speak to you! She think of you as a daughter.

•Taron trys to teach you welsh even though you can't remember most of it! You can remember and pronounce some things for example

•Rwy'n dy garu di~I love you

•babi-baby

•cwtsh~cuddle/hugs

•Annwyl~dear/darling

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

(Authors notes)

Hi hope you enjoyed what ever that was lol, I can do a part 2 if wanted just let me know in the comments! Requests are open and thank you for reading! :D

————————————————————

#Taron Egerton #taron egerton x reader propose #taron egerton imagine #taron x reader #Taron Egerton fluff #Taron Egerton storys #new writter #kingsman #rocketman #eggsy x reader #eggsy unwin #tetris #fluff #imagines #eggsy imagine #kingsman eggsy #fuffy imagines #fluffy fic

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brinleyparke · 9 days

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Kingsman Fic Ideas/Prompts

Charlie gets kicked out or at least punished for the water prank.

Parachute test fix-it (Perhaps Merlin takes a minute to understand why Eggsy has said chip on his shoulder)

What if Eggsy and Charlie were the last two in the parachute test?

"Manners maketh man. You'd do well to remember that Mr. Hesketh." Or Harry is none too pleased when he finds out how Charlie has been treating Eggsy.

What if Charlie had passed the loyalty test?

Harry lets Eggsy teach Dean a lesson after Eggsy fails the final test and comes home and finds out that Dean hit his mom.

Post-TGC: Merlin lives, but Eggsy still feels guilty.

H/C after train track test

Maybe Eggsy is upset that he was drugged.

Maybe Eggsy has been drugged before, so he has a panic attack or a nightmare after the train test.

Maybe Eggsy is still freaked out a little because he thought he was gonna die.

Eggsy gets de-aged to 4 years old (mind and body). Harry takes care of him until they can turn him back. (GEN FIC) Based on this fanart:

Harry apologizes to Eggsy for what he said and the assumptions he made in the Black Prince.

Tilde tells her parents about Eggsy.

After the toast to Merlin, Eggsy leaves the room (maybe he goes to the bathroom or something) and breaks down. Harry or Tequila or Ginger Ale comforts him.

Tilde meeting Daisy and Eggsy's mother for the first time.

Post-TGC: Eggsy has nightmares about Merlin and almost losing Tilde, and Tilde comforts him.

During training, Eggsy has nightmares about Dean.

After Merlin's "most dangerous job interview" speech, Harry explains the bruises on Eggsy's cheek and neck.

After the water test, all of the recruits receive physicals. Eggsy doesn't have much medical history because Jamal treated most of his injuries. The doctor and/or Merlin are concerned about the scars and/or broken bones or bone fractures that didn't heal properly.

"When was the last time you ate?" Or Eggsy's first meal at Kingsman. He's not particularly gross or rude about eating; he just eats very fast. Roxy or Merlin is concerned. In other words, Eggsy has food insecurity issues.

"What's his story?" Or during or after TGC: Ginger Ale or Champ is curious about Eggsy, and ask Harry what Eggsy's story is. Or maybe they ask Eggsy himself

Songfic based on "Waiting For Superman" by Daughtry about Michelle waiting for Lee to come back home even after Harry told her he was dead.

Songfic based on "Save Me" by Jelly Roll

Songfic based on "How to Save a Life" by The Fray

Reacher (TV) x-over: Tequila tries to recruit Reacher.

Reacher (TV) x-over: Dixon or Neagley is recruited to Statesman to be the new Ginger-Ale

Arrow x-over: Kingsman needs the Green Arrow's help.

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tegerton · 1 year

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Dude, duuuuuuuuuuuuuuude! Does anyone even remember me? Sorry for the very long hiatus, but I’m dipping my toes back into fanfic writing. Hopefully I’m not too rusty. What better way to come back with trying out an original story, that’s right this bad boy is coming from my head.

You can all thank @justsomerandomfanfic for waking me up. Seriously, thank you so much for liking my writing. It means the world (I thought my writing was pretty bad not gonna lie haha) but I am so glad I can make someone’s day with it! Apologies in advance. Please let me know if I should add any specific warnings! Hearts, reblogs, and comments are lovely!

I am going to try and attempt a GN reader x Eggsy (please let me know if I need to fix anything)

Eggsy x GN Reader

Word Count: A little over 1k

Warnings: Implied fighting and not so great friends (it’s not too bad tho)

It was supposed to be just a chill night out with some friends at a rather less crowded bar. Yeah it was anything but that. Once the words “Manners, maketh, man.” were thrown into the mix and all bets were off the table. Various objects like tables, chairs, and umbrellas went flying as their eyes scanned to find various things.

1. Find a safe exit (The front doors had been barricaded shut, but there’s got to be an emergency exit somewhere in this dump).

2. Stick with the people you know.

3. Get out.

After a few close attempts the group decided to book it for an exit that was in the back of the little kitchen in the bar. The friends left in a hurry not giving their final remaining friend a clear plan.

“Thanks guys! Thanks for not TELLING ME THE PLAN!” The tone was in the midst of transitioning from rather annoyed to fearing for their life. But rather than hearing screams and carious grunts the room was eerily silent. It’s at this moment that they realized someone just saw their outburst. Turning to face the one man army they noticed the umbrella that had been previously used to take out at least half of the patrons in the bar who are currently laying on the ground. “Put the umbrella down.” The rather well dressed man slowly followed orders as he gently placed his Kingsman umbrella onto the floor. “Now, unlock the doors.” With some loud clicking the entrance was now unlocked. “Ok I’m going to leave.” It was an agonizingly slow exit as they never turned their back on the stranger.

“Sorry I ruined your night out.” Once his accent came out their heart dropped just the tiniest bit, it didn’t help that he sheepishly scratched the back of his neck exposing a rather good physique in the muscles of his arms.

“No, do not try to play the cute guy card with me.” Their hands pressed onto their hips as the shortness of breath from the entire situation finally caught up. A strained sigh came over as the lights reflecting off the rainy pavements were not helping.

“The cute card?” His hands fixed his suit as he finally exited the bar smoothly opening the umbrella right over both of their heads. “I’d rather say I’m just charming in general.” His wink was met with a side eye. “Alright I kind of get the sense that maybe I did something wrong.”

“Hmmmm I’m not sure let me go ask someone in the bar if they know,” It was the fake walk back to the bar that made him chuckle. “Oh yeah that’s right, they’re all passed out!”

“Would it make you feel better if I said I was Batman or something?”

“Batman doesn’t fight crime dressed like Bruce Wayne.”

“Batman isn’t Bruce Wayne.” The seriousness in his voice just made the joke even better. Their eyes rolled with a smile as a well deserved slug was met on his shoulder. “Let’s start over,” He offered his hand for a shake. “Eggsy.”

“Eggsy?” The bridge of their nose scrunched up in thought. “I haven’t been in the UK that long but I will admit that’s the most unique name I’ve come across so far.”

“Well my real name is Gary but I go by Eggsy!” His face was beaming as he explained the story of his nickname. On the other hand the poor bystander was just wanting to go home.

“Yeah that’s really cool and all but I kind of need to get home.” It was their polite yet desperate grimace and the shuffling of feet that made Eggsy connect the dots. Maybe don’t go straight for someone you’re interested in right after making them think they were your next victim. The string of muttered curses that left his lips made it hard to not fall deeper into the surprisingly chill and trendy guy. “Y/N, forgot to tell you. That’s my name.” Finally learning the mystery person’s name gave Eggsy a little faith that he wasn’t a complete failure with charming someone.

“That has to be the weirdest name I’ve ever heard.”

“Oh shut up!” In what would be the weirdest of situations the two found light at the end of the tunnel, a blossoming friendship that Eggsy only dreamed would turn into something else only with time. “No but seriously I have work at 7AM, I need sleep.”

“Do you need a ride?” A part of Eggsy was holding onto hope that the offer would be accepted but he knew the chances were slim.

“As much fun as that sounds, I drove here.” Y/N held up their keys as they pressed the lock button a couple of times causing the car to beep back. “Thanks for the offer.” The night was cold as they rubbed their hands together. “I hope to never see you pissed off at a bar ever again.” A cheesy smile was plastered on their face as Eggsy’s face flushed slightly but due to the cold weather he was able to hide it.

“Yeah hopefully next time we meet, it isn’t like this.” Y/N’s head turned towards him as they laughed a bit.

“What do you want my number or something?” The laugh died fairly quickly as they noticed the look on his face.

“I mean, I wouldn’t be opposed.” He gently kicked a nearby rock. After a quick number exchange the two finally went their separate ways. Y/N noticed the number scribbled on the back of some business card as they slipped it over for further inspection.

“Kingsman?” Some store they had never heard of as they just got in their car and headed back to their apartment. Opening the door their roommate came barreling through giving them a hug.

“Oh my gosh, I was so worried when we lost you at the bar!” Y/N’s shoulders slumped into the hug.

“Yeah you guys were real worried alright.” The tone and sentiment were definitely called for especially since nobody even reached out to help. Not wanting to give it the light of day Y/N just went to their own little room and locked the door. That whole friends thing was for another day, but not now.

The next morning was uneventful as their shift went by with nothing really special happening. Not a bad day, not a good day, just a day. But hey at least the customer’s weren’t the absolute worst today.

“Can I clock out?” The manager slightly jumped in her seat not noticing their hire, engrossed in their emails.

“Oh yeah, thanks for your help.” And with the okay to leave it was a race to find somewhere to get food. With food on the brain, they almost passed something until a shiny golden logo caught their eye. It was the Kingsman store, Y/N took a peek through the window to see what exactly was being sold there but was met with Eggsy who sat across from another man dressed up just like him.

“No way.”

#taron egerton fanfiction #eggsy unwin #taron egerton #eggsy imagine #eggsy x reader #kingsman eggsy #kingsman fic #kingsman fandom #kingsman fanfiction #kingsman fanart #taron egerton fanfic #taron egerton fic #kingsman #kingsman secret service #kingsman the golden circle #kingsman golden circle #kingsman the secret service #gary unwin

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phreakology · 26 days

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Hey!

This is kinda my last option because i have not been able to find this fic and have dug through my entire history and saved fics.

Tumblr, you're my last hope 🤦‍♀️

I am looking for a kingsman fic. In it, Eggsy is able to talk to animals or hear them mentally or something and when he's a kid it freaks his mom out. If I remember right he crashes the car because the fox was just out looking for food for her kits

In training he goes after Charlie because Charlie hit his dog to train it and Eggsy tells Merlin that he can train both his puppy and Charlie's. He keeps both dogs and I think he makes Harry take one of them to Kentucky with him. I also seem to remember Eggsy like possessing a racoon or something to help Harry during the church scene.

I know this sounds like some fever dream but I promise it's not. If anyone knows this fic or where to find it or any information, please I'm begging, let me know. This has wormed into my brain and I've not had any peace from it for like 3 weeks. I would dearly love to reread this fic as it's one of my favorites!

Thank you!❤️

#kingsman #fic rec #fic request #lost fic #hartwin #eggsy unwin #harry x eggsy #harry hart #kingsman fanfiction #signal boost

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kpopgirlbtssvt · 1 year

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Does anyone still write requests for Eggsy Unwin from The Kingsman?? I just rewatched the first movie and I was reminded how much I love him😭😭😍😍💜💜

#eggsy fanfiction #kingsman eggsy #eggsy x reader #eggsy imagine #eggsy unwin #harry hart #kingsman #kingsman secret service #requests #writing #fics #Eggsy

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thebaddragon · 2 months

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I have a vague thought.

So Eggsy fails the Dog Test. Then the second movie happens.

What if... what if Harry was turned in the time he was gone. Rather than coming back amnesia. He went rogue. For whatever reason.

What If, in the end, Harry became the Dog Test, instead?

Say Eggsy didn't become a KINGSMAN but was called to help Roxy and them figure out a new baddie.

What If.. Harry turned on them all, for whatever reason, hell FOR EGGSY, and they get to the end of some exciting adventure, Eggsy gets to Harry revealing he was the master mind. And Harry's about to do something he never would have done before...

And Merlin says shoot Harry.

And Eggsy takes the shot.

#eggsy unwin #harry hart #just a thought #fic ideas #the dog test #kingsman secret service #kingsman

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scarlettacklen1986 · 1 year

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Dreams come true •Kingsman Merlin•

Word count: 400

Type: Fluff

Warning: Non

Paring: Merlin × Oc (description is kept limited name can easily be changed when reading)

Summary: Merlin goes to find Maya when she sneaks away from from a party to think to herself

"So I've lost Morgana," Eggsy announced as he walked up to Harry and Merlin at the Kingsman gala.

"She's probably hiding away," Merlin said handing his drink off to Harry leaving the large hall.

The corridors were quieter than the hall, Merlin checked where he usually found, Maya, Agent Morgana, when she decided to hide away and think, the gardens.

He went out to the garden found her sat on a low wall in the gardens, a beer bottle next to her, dressed in a bright red formal dress.

"You're a long way from the party, princess," he said.

Maya looked up from the ground smilling. "Yeah, lots people, lot of noise, you know what I'm like," she said.

"Understandable," he said "What were you thinking about?" He asked sitting next to her.

"Do you ever think that your dreams could come true?" She asked as she swung her legs.

"No," he replied quickly. "Why? Do you?"

Maya frowned slightly. "No. . .Just wondering" she said, Merlin nodded. "If you could have a dream come true? What would it be?" She asked.

"Honestly? This is my dream, I've never thought of anything else," he shrugged.

"Absolutely nothing? You've only ever wanted to be a quartermaster? You've got no dream?" She asked.

"Maybe a nice healthy marriage, a dog but yeah Kingsman is all I've ever known, next to the army and Kingsman has a much nicer uniform" he said.

"Do you have other dreams?" He asked her.

"Mhm, I guess, it's dumb." she shrugged.

"What is it?"

"I want to live out in the country, nice little house, a couple of dogs maybe, married to a nice guy, work in a little family bakery," she said.

"I guess a healthy relationship is a dream for every Kingsman," Merlin said taking her drink from the side stealing a sip.

"Expect Eggsy, he got it " Maya shrugged.

"So tell me, who is this perfect dream husband?" He asked.

Maya took her drink back from Merlin taking a long drink of it. "Well he's tall, he dresses well, a little older then me with glasses, bald and a rich thick Scottish accent," she said.

Merlin looked at her surprised. "Me?" He asked.

"Mhm, you occupy alot of my unconscious mind apparently," she said.

Merlin slid off the wall coming to stand infront of her, his hands rested on either side of her.

"What other dreams have I been involved in?" He asked lowly. "A lot of them," she mumbled "Maybe dreams do come true," he said tipping her chin to look up at him, kissing her gently.

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whumpdoyoumean · 7 months

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Whumptober #6

xxx do or die

Eggsy isn’t sure where it all went wrong, exactly, whether it was a single bad decision or a million smaller ones that led him to walking directly into a trap. What he does know is that he’s monumentally fucked up, and now he’s going to pay for it. Probably with his life. He’s spent the last several weeks searching for the person or persons responsible for a string of disappearances within the SIS.

Well, he found the bastard.

Or rather, the bastard found him.

Eggsy hadn’t even had the chance to fight back before he’d been injected with something and then he woke up here, handcuffed to a chair in nothing but his briefs. Even his earpiece is gone. His captor is standing in front of him, picking at his fingernails with a wicked-looking knife.

He’s wearing Eggsy’s glasses.

“These aren’t even prescription,” the man says, tapping at a lens with his knife. “And knowing you super-spy types, I’m guessing they aren’t just for the aesthetics. Is there someone watching you then?”

Eggsy doesn’t answer, just grits his teeth. It takes an enormous amount of effort to keep the snarky comments at bay. The man smirks

“There is, isn’t there. I’ve got an audience for this one. Now, that’s interesting. Changes my timeline a bit, perhaps, but I can work with this…” He tucks the knife into a sheath at his hip and then reaches into the pocket of his leather jacket, pulling out brass knuckles. He makes a show of putting them on his right hand, admiring them for a second before looking up at Eggsy, clearly gauging for a reaction.

Eggsy doesn’t give him one.

The man smiles again, then moves forward so suddenly that Eggsy doesn’t have time to brace himself before he’s smashed in the face, his head snapping to the side, a gash instantly opening across his (probably broken) cheekbone. He doesn’t move for a moment, just blinks a few times as he waits for his head to clear. And then he lifts his head and looks directly at the man, ignoring the sharp pain in his cheek and the accompanying ache hammering through his skull.

The man smiles.

“You’re a tough one. Tougher than I’d’ve guessed from your fancy suit. I think I’m going to enjoy this.”

xxx

It’s rare that Merlin feels completely helpless. But right now, that’s exactly what he is. Eggsy had been taken suddenly, without the chance to even activate his distress signal. It’s only because of the captor’s carelessness that Merlin even has eyes on the young agent--he’d tripped the glasses when he put them on, leaving Merlin with a front row seat to his violence. Eggsy is being held underground, so drones are useless, and Roxy is the only agent anywhere close to where Eggsy’s been taken.

All Merlin can do is watch, and hope that Roxy gets there before Eggsy is killed.

The kid is tough. Merlin knows that, had known it before they’d even started training. He had to be, otherwise Harry would’ve never brought him in in the first place. Even bloody and half-conscious, defiance is openly visible on Eggsy’s face. He obviously knows how to take a beating. Not that that makes this any easier.

The man’s been working on Eggsy’s ribs for the past few minutes. Merlin can hear the small gasps as the wind is knocked from Eggsy’s lungs. Every few blows, the man lets him catch his breath before starting in again. He hasn’t asked any questions. He isn’t looking for information. Merlin doesn’t need to see the man’s face to know that he’s doing this for no other reason than that he enjoys it, the sick fuck.

It makes Merlin feel sick to his stomach. And it makes him angry, a simmering rage that he feels throughout his whole body. His hands are clenched into tight fists, knuckles white.

“Still not a peep?” the man says, his voice a mixture of surprise and amusement and annoyance and, beneath it all, the barest hint of admiration. He holds his bloodied hands up and turns them slowly, getting a good look at them.

And then he brings the brass knuckles down and Eggsy’s knee, hard, and this time Eggsy screams.

“Bastard!” Merlin yells at the monitor, his heart hammering.

His fingernails dig into his palms.

He doesn’t notice.

Eggsy is panting now, his chest rising in small, sporadic bursts, and Merlin knows he’s struggling to catch his breath while also trying to keep from breathing so deeply that it hurts his fractured ribs. He looks up at the man, and while Merlin knows that Eggsy is looking at his captor's eyes, it feels like he’s staring directly at Merlin. Into him.

“Lancelot, where the fuck are you?” Merlin doesn’t even try to keep the urgency (bordering on panic) from his voice as he looks over at the monitor that has Roxy’s feed.

“I’m still four minutes out from the coordinates you sent me, I’m moving as fast as I can,” Roxy responds, and it’s obvious that she’s as distressed as he is. “Have you found anything on the kidnapper?”

“Nothing,” Merlin says. “Haven’t had a good look at his face and there’s been no luck with voice recognition. Bring him in alive if you can. But you do whatever you have to do to get Galahad out of there, is that understood?”

“Yes, sir. Understood.”

Merlin turns his full attention back to the screen in front of him and his blood runs cold. The man has traded out the brass knuckles for a knife.

“No,” Merlin says aloud. He doesn’t know who he’s speaking to, but he says it again, leaning forward in his chair. “No!”

The man steps toward Eggsy and places his left hand on Eggsy’s shoulder, bringing the knife up to Eggsy’s face. Eggsy flinches away from the blade and the man laughs, drawing it down his cheek. A thin line of blood wells up behind it. Eggsy’s gaze flicks up to meet the man’s, and once again Merlin finds himself staring into his agent’s eyes.

There’s something different in his expression this time, and Merlin isn’t sure exactly what it is, at first. And then he realizes. Eggsy is looking at him.

“‘s’okay, Merlin,” he says, voice low.

“Merlin?” the man laughs. And then he plunges the knife into Eggsy’s side.

“No!” Merlin screams it now, grabbing the edges of the computer monitor. “Shit! Lancelot, get in there now!”

He’s barely gotten the words out of his mouth when the man turns, and suddenly Merlin is looking into Roxy’s face.

“Where the fuck did you come from?” the man says, and then the picture cuts off and the screen goes black.

xxx

Roxy fires two more tranquilizer rounds into the man’s back before she’s on her knees, patting down his unconscious form until she finds the key to the handcuffs.

“Lancelot, update!”

“The suspect is down, but alive, I’m pretty sure,” Roxy says as she hurries to Eggsy’s side.

“And Eggsy?”

Eggsy is in a bad way. His face is a mess, with several open cuts leaking blood that runs down his neck and his bare chest. There are angry red bruises forming along both sides of his ribcage, and his left knee is dark and swollen. Worst, though, is the stab wound in his belly, which is leaking blood at an alarming pace, a small puddle already forming on the floor beneath him. At first glance, it doesn’t seem like he should be alive. But Roxy can see the shallow, rapid rise-and-fall of Eggsy’s chest, can hear the short, labored breaths.

“He’s alive,” she says as she hurriedly undoes the handcuffs, willing her hands to be steady because now, more than ever, she needs them to be. “We need medevac.”

“They’re on their way with backup, just a few minutes behind you.”

“Good,” Roxy says, shrugging off her jacket and balling it up as best she can before pressing it against the wound. Eggsy stirs, letting out a weak cry, and Roxy grimaces, looking up at him as his eyes flutter open. His mouth turns up in a weak smile that quickly vanishes into a wince.

“‘ven smilin’ hurts,” he mutters, and his words are thick and clumsy around the blood in his mouth. “You…took your fuckin’ time. Wasn’ sure you’d get here.”

“Of course I got here,” Roxy says, heart plummeting as Eggsy’s eyes start to flutter. “Stay awake, Eggsy!”

“You’ve got to keep him awake!” Merlin says into her ear.

“I know, I’m trying. Come on, Eggsy. Come on!” She pats his face and he stirs, looking up at her. She tries to smile. “The hard part is over, all you have to do now is keep your eyes open. You can do that, right?”

“Trying,” Eggsy gasps. “Ain’t ‘s easy as it looks…S-sorry.” His eyes roll and then his lids fall shut, his chin dipping down toward his chest.

“Eggsy!” Roxy swallows the lump in her throat. “Hang on. You just hang on, Eggsy.”

xxx

It takes two surgeries, a dozen units of blood, and a chest tube to stabilize Eggsy. Merlin watches over him through all of it. It isn’t until he’s settled into the recovery wing that Merlin dares leave his side.

“Would you like me to call you when he wakes up?” a doctor asks as Merlin steps into the hall.

“Yes, please,” Merlin says. “How long?”

“A few hours, at least.”

Merlin nods thoughtfully. “A few hours will be plenty of time.”

And then he heads for the holding cells, letting the relief he’s feeling give way to a cold, hungry rage. His fingers twitch in anticipation.

There’s a conversation he’s very much looking forward to having.

xxx

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