#everyone is real

[daincrediblegg]

OK THIS IS NOT A FUCKING DRILL EVERYONE FUCKING REPEAT AFTER ME. THIS IS WHAT YOU WILL DO WHEN YOU WATCH MUPPET CHRISTMAS CAROL THIS YEAR:

You will navigate to the page on disney plus (and it has to be here. Unless someone has actually uploaded the REAL movie anywhere else you cannot get it elsewhere)

BUT YOU WILL NOT HIT PLAY. You won’t do it. Because it’s NOT THE REAL VERSION OF THE FILM AND DISNEY IS FUCKING LYING TO YOU AS IT ALWAYS DOES

You will scroll down HERE. To EXTRAS instead. You MUST GO HERE. This is non -negotiable

THEN YOU WILL SCROLL DOWN TO THE BOTTOM OF THE EXTRAS AND YOU WILL THEN HIT PLAY ON THIS BAD BOY: THE FULL LENGTH VERSION

And you will watch it. And you will thank me for having been so blind and led astray by that stupid fucking mouse. You’re welcome.

#I’m so mad everyone I’m sorry I’m going to make sure EVERYONE sees the proper version of mcc this year or die trying #literally this song is so important to the narrative and the film is so fucking hollow without it #if you grew up with disney’s bullshit version and thought it was good WAIT UNTIL YOU SEE THIS SHIT #please. please watch the REAL version of this film. it means a lot to me ok #the muppet christmas carol #for the love of god please people

[spyglassrealms]

had a fucking hilarious dream that tumblr replaced the "block" function with the far funnier "glock" function, which did the exact same thing except whenever anyone blocked you a random bullet hole, like a png of a bullet hole, would appear on your blog. discourse blogs were unreadable bc you'd go to the page and the sheer amount of bullet hole pngs stacked over the blogs obscured everything. I woke myself up laughing

#normally I don't chronicle my dreams here but fucking hell that one was funny #I think this would genuinely make tumblr better tbh #@ staff do this cowards #spy has thoughts #my life is a sitcom and i am my own laugh track #functional website #spy's smash hits #Glock function #edit for everyone in the notes saying 'everyone clapped' #I know I can't prove to you that it happened for real you're just gonna have to trust me on this #but I swear on my goddamn life I'm not making this up #I make so many conscious puns that sometimes my subconscious cooks up a real good one

[noknowshame]

why is religious Christmas imagery all so joyful and pleasant? where is the inherent horror of the birth of Christ? A mother is handed her newborn child, wailing and innocent. Her hands come away sticky. Red. Simply by giving her son life she has already killed him. He is doomed from the beginning. Her love will not save him from suffering. Because the thing cradled in her arms is not a baby, it is a sacrifice: born amongst the other bleating animals whose blood will one day be spilled in the name of what demands it. the night is silent with anticipation. Mary, did you know? That your womb was also a grave?

#instant conversation enders for my multiple youth pastor cousins #don’t say it (I’m gonna say it) #The Child is The Price #but i mean come on #as someone who isn't actually even christian the real-life historical version of this is still cursed as fuck #i mean we know that jesus was a person who existed. whatever circumstances he was born in #its terrifyingly ominous to imagine being so unaware of the affect your child will have on the future of humanity #time itself will one day be counted around your birth of him #and all because he will suffer an excruciatingly painful death that you will not be able to prevent #not only that. but regardless of his or your intentions #regardless of whether there is a god #for millenea unfathomable millions will have blood spilled and will spill blood in his name #atrocities will be committed that you cannot even conceive of #and all on his and your behalf #you love your child. its beautiful. but there's horror in what you've done. because everyone else will love him too #and what's more dangerous than that?

[maysinkedpages]

it is definitely cannon that everyone at camp calls Percy "Annabeth's boyfriend". They'll be showing a new kid around the place and be like "oh yeah, that's Annabeth's boyfriend, Percy. He's also the hero of olympus, beat the god of war, and a child of poseidon or whatever."

#this is real #totally happened #tbh rizzing up annabeth was the biggest accomplishment #everyone at camp knows it fr #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson #pjo tv show #pjo #pjo series #pjo spoilers #annabeth chase #percy jackson spoilers #poseidon #camp half blood

[wrenderart]

I made this a couple of months ago but. hack your 3ds. do it right now.

#my art #graphic design #3ds #3ds hack #hi everyone ill make new content soon sowwy ive been moving #the real reason im posting this is so i can link it from my neocities #oh i have a neocities btw. check out my main blog for that info

[jethroq]

bitches will say they got into clown college on their own merit and like their parents facepaints aren’t on eggshells in the lobby of the new library

#@everyone taggi g this with Discworld #yes that is where I learned about this but it is an actual practise in the real world too #hence why I said clown college not guild

[desolationlesbian]

still the funniest plot point in all of pmmm that Homura Akemi is a 14 year old magical girl who realized that her sparkly transformation sequence did not come with a cutesy custom weapon like everyone else's so she just went online and googled "how to build a bomb"

#and so now everyone else is fighting with bespoke magical thematically-and-aesthetically significant #swords and spears and elegant floral bows that shoot magic light arrows #and Homura is standing right next to them and pulls out a very real and non-magical glock. that she stole with time magic #madoka magica

[ninjasmudge]

thats a red flag narinder, get that crown back while you still can

+ top panel without text below the cut

#cult of the lamb #cotl #rspect my privacy at this time by not asking what came over me to make a fully colored comic #cotl narinder #cotl lamb #cotl aym #my art #actully im like really proud of this not sure why it happened but it did #anyway i have at least another 4 cotl jokes to get out right now #if you look real close you can see my hcs for lambs design before and after they got the red crown #and also i need everyone to notice aym and lambs eldrich shadow #and yes i know you can both name the cult anything AND you can have a cult in someones name with it being their cult but consider. funny #narinder

[dudedidujust]

Au where Damian comes to Gotham with the goal of infiltrating and eventually overthrowing Batman instead of inheriting the mantle. Not much changes from canon except for the fact that he views everything that batman owns as his. That's his future cave and his future batmobile. This also includes his robins. After all everyone knows Batman wouldn't really be Batman without them.

Cue a very bewildered Tim being lectured on his eating habits by a righteous Damian who won't let one of his people take shortcuts with their health.

#Damian looking at the manor: its free real estate #he almost writes off red hood but after finding out his identity he switches to trying to lure him yo his side #jason gets the head of a random thug who was bothering him on his doorstep #damian: im gonna be a better batman than batman. I'll sway all his allies to my side and then there'll be no complaints when i take over #everyone else: he's such a sweet kid. sorta prickly but he has a good heart ❤️ #damian wayne #batman #batfam #bruce wayne #tim drake #jason todd #they all thinks he's trying so hard to be accepted into the fam when infact he's trying to get to the top

[sitzfleischh]

Every week I watch Lou Wilson perform the most stunning, tender depiction of a teenage boy's struggle against compulsory heterosexuality, and he has no idea he's doing it.

#fantasy high #fhjy #dimension 20 #this week's ep has me losing my mind for real i was like cry-laughing at multiple moments #but also EVERYONE IS SO SAD #RIZ!!! FABIAN!!! ADAINE!!! #im not even done the ep yet i have like an hour left

[lauralot89]

#I thought about putting Count Von Count but let's be real everyone would have voted for him #vampires #poll #polls #Tumblr poll #Tumblr polls

[bixels]

I watched the original Muppets movies recently.

#mlp #muppets #it's important to note this wouldn't be regular mlp equestria. no these horses would be in modern day america #everyone else would be live action humans #they would be like. hybrid 2d cartoons driving real cars and talking to guest star celebs #everyone else is like those damn horses... and pinkie goes waka waka or something #twilight sparkle #spike #celestia #luna #applejack #rarity #my art #fanart #comic

[stuckinapril]

friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me

#It’s just so different #even though it’s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol #in my head I’m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps #if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts I’d feel so weird ab it #esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends #no thank u. this is for me. I’m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr #u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS #meanwhile I’ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. I’m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life #this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. it’s so important for me to maintain the separation #like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !! #& I’ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc I’m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers #who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least it’s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them #and I’m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends #it’s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and it’s low stress and people get me #I don’t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc #like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. it’s just nice to have this #so idk that’s why I think I’ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works #p

[pherredraws]

i think its so funny that no one knows that fionna and cake are real except simon. imagine if he forgets to tell marcy and just gives her a heart attack one day

#adventure time #fionna and cake #simon petrikov #marceline #i dont remember her last name :( #obviously i imagine he tells everyone right away but maybe she was busy #marceline and fionna should meet tbh #just him talking about his fanfic characters like theyre real people one day. marceline is concerned

[majunju]

bunny suit

#honkai star rail #my art #mildly annoying aventurine nd wary stelle is my fav dynamic #the idea of someone who usually dgaf (stelle) being so riled up by an annoying mf is so funny to me #so called chill mfs when a real yapper turns up to the party #also good luck to everyone pulling tmr ! hope u all win ur 50/50s

[maiko-coy]

Sneak peek at pre-HOJ arc of Missed Chances AU and their characters!

#poppy playtime chapter 3 #poppy playtime au #Missed Chances AU #Pre-HOJ arc #Smiling Critters #catnap #dogday #Genuinely happy Dogday scares me-- #Kiara is a bit rough on the edges but she'll get there #Maisie just loves everyone #Pre-HOJ lore real???? #Also yes I want to think that Dogday (and everyone) knows how to handle *CHILDREN* but not *TEENAGERS* #So their dynamic is gunna be funny