#eyes closing slepeing

[fourhundredthirtythree]

tonight i’m thinking about god and

i’m thinking about synthesizers and

i think everyone is in my reach.

tonight the train doors didn’t open and all of us are left stranded on the platform.

“do you know why this happened?”

anti-passenger next to me,

a man who is older than me, he says,

“sometimes i’m coming back from work at two a.m. and they’ll pull this type of shit. let’s hope the next train doesn’t do that”. where he’s looking is passed me.

we wait. i wasn’t so cold but now i’m colder, standing still here.

us sad collective. on a little island we can leave, but not meaningfully.

meaningfully, we are stranded.

and i want again, so much, to talk to.

about anything. but none of us are talking. besides the phone calls in the earpieces.

i think of talking to the girl who looks my age and looks equally alone but in the moment it takes to have this urge, i am thinking of all the considerations. of what is the worst thing she could think, of how i can approach in a way that can’t possibly be deemed strange, and i consider why it’s strange to speak to the stranger next to you.

i know nothing about you and i will never see you again probably but we are here together now, and look, we have a shared strife. but also, we just exist at the same time and place and isn’t that enough to warrant some very slight acknowledgement of this connection?

i want to take nothing from you but your looking and seeing and hearing me. because i see you. and i want to go home now. but i can’t. and you can’t. and i don’t want to skin you alive like those true crime podcasts and the tv news are telling you.

in the time it takes to consider this all, i have had the urge to speak to this person on the platform and then the moment is passed, overwhelmed, estranged and defeated.

the second train comes and it is full and silent and we all enter without paying or discussing.

god as wires connecting wires connecting wires, input and output devices. god turning the knob on my attack. i am desperately present.

we are looped in a tune and we should sing our notes.

#wrote it #i wrote this #eyes closing slepeing #i only post first drafts here #pursepofely #purposefully #poetry #question mark #writing #good night

[cheesysoup-arlo]

Cady’s Cousin pt.2

A/N: sorry this is mostly like “texting” also the relationship/couples I have in here are (karen and gretchen), (cady and regina), later I’ll add (janis and reader) and maybe (aaron and kevin g) idk maybe lol I won’t be tagging the ships since they’re not the main ship I hope y’all liked this lol

(Sunday 8:30pm)

*Cady created a group chat*

Cads 🦁: hey guys I made this group chat so (Y/N) can get to know you guys, you guys can get to know them, and just for fun 👍

???(1): aw Cady that’s so sweet, this is Aaron by the way lol

(Y/N): can everyone send their name please 🙏

???(2): karen 💕

???(3): Beyoncé

???(4): that’s Damian ^, this is janis 👾

Damian🌟: janis you’re no fun this is homophobia

Janis👾: yeah I hate the gays 🙄

karen💕: ??? u hat me 😞

Janis👾: no not you karen just Damian

karen💕: o okie 😽

???(5): the hottest bitch you’ll meet

(Y/N): hi Regina

Cads🦁: Y/N!!!

(Y/N): cads chill I know she’s off limits

Regina👛: aw baby you’re so cute when you’re jealous

Janis👾: barf 🤮

(Y/N): 😭😭😭

(Y/N): wait where’s Gretchen?

karen💕: sleping 😴

Damian🌟: Important question! Y/n are you one of them queers?

(Y/N): I would be offended if you thought I wasn’t

*damian has named group chat “fruit loops”*

Janis👾: I-

(Y/N): oh that’s-

Damian🌟: OK STOP BEING HOMOPHOBIC TO THE GAY BLACK MAN IM A MINORITY HERE

Regina👛: how’s everyone feeling about school tomorrow? I’m kind of excited mostly because the school cheese fries just hit different yk?

Cads🦁: I’m excited too but for classes I picked an extra math class this year

(Y/N): ha nerd 🤓

(Y/N): I’m nervous lol but at least I have you guys

Janis👾: I’m not excited I hate school it keeps me from doing more important things

(Y/N): like what?

Janis👾: sleeping

Damian🌟: I’m excited I decided that I’m gonna take the new senior only theater class which is a little out of my comfort zone but I’ll manage

Aaron🧍‍♂️: I was supposed to be graduated last year so I’m not excited at all

(Y/N): YOU GOT HELD BACK?!?! WHAT?!?!

Aaron🧍‍♂️: yeah I failed English and history so I couldn’t graduate

Cads🦁: it’s ok Aaron now you get to be with us for another year 😊

(Sunday 11:50pm) fruit loops

(Y/N): guys I can’t sleep

Janis👾: same I’ve been lying very still and it’s not working

Damian🌟: janis did you take the melatonin I gave you?

Janis👾: yeah but it’s not working 😔

Damian🌟: welp that’s a you problem then

(Monday 2:30am) fruit loops

(Y/N): do you think I can fit 40 mini marshmallows in my mouth?

Janis👾: oh absolutely

(Y/N): omg ur still awake too?

Janis👾: yeah lol

(Y/N): I just put 35 mini marshmallows in my mouth idk if I can fit more

Janis👾: if you fit all 40 I’ll give you 5 bucks

(Y/N): challenge accepted

(Monday 2:37am) fruit loops

(Y/N): I fit all 40 and almost choked lmao

Janis👾: lmao nice your $5 will be given at school

(Y/N): yippieeee

(Y/N): dude I literally can’t sleep

Janis👾: wanna call? That’s what me and Damian used to do before he got a good sleep schedule lmao

(Y/N): um sure me and my friend back home used to do that too

*incoming call from Janis👾*

“Hi” you whispered suddenly feeling a little more tired with her company even if it was only over the phone “hey” janis said with a small yawn “nice shirt” you say seeing her Lego movie shirt “oh um thanks” she says with a laugh “so what’s up?” “Let’s take turns asking each other questions until we fall asleep” you say with a little yawn “hmm ok favorite color?” She asks you “ooo definitely (your favorite color), how about you?” “Hmm either green or purple” “ooo good choice, hmm hobbies?” “I sing and write a little but I guess art even though I don’t consider it a hobby it’s more of a lifestyle” “art? Can I see some?” “Yeah sure I’ll show you some stuff tomorrow” you both yawn “shit it’s 3 am” janis sighs “fuck” you chuckle sleepy “um I’m getting tired” janis says with a tired laugh “me too” you say starting to close your eyes “good night (y/n)” “good night Janis” you say with a yawn falling asleep as she hangs up

Monday 5:30am

“Pst…(y/n)? You gotta wake up” your cousin said lightly shaking you “ugh five more minutes” you mumbled “no come on up you gotta get ready” she insisted, you got up against your body begging to go back to sleep “good morning sleepy head” Cady said with an enthusiastic smile “cads what time is it?” “5:33” “doesn’t school start at like 8:30?” “No it starts at 8 and I wanted to make sure you had enough time to get ready and have breakfast, breakfast is very important” “uh huh…mm thanks cads” you say with a yawn deciding to get up and look through your clothes “meet me in my room when you’re done getting dressed, ok?” Cady said “um ok?” You said grabbing your favorite jeans and shirt then going to look for your jacket as your cousin left

(Monday 5:40 am) fruit loops

Gretchen🌷: good morning everyone soooo so sorry for not texting yesterday I went to bed early

Regina👛: it’s ok Gretch don’t worry about it

Regina👛: also damn I think Janis and (y/n) our new insomniac duo

(Y/N): unfortunately yes I’m so fucking tired also good morning Gretchen

Aaron🧍‍♂️: why are you guys up so early it’s not even six yet? I literally woke up because of all the buzzing

(Y/N): cads woke me up :(

Regina👛: my skincare and makeup routine take like and hour

Gretchen🌷: I like mornings ☀️

You finished getting ready and headed over to Cady’s room like she asked you to. “What’s up cads?” “Eee (y/n) ok so first of all how are you feeling about your first day” “a little nervous and tired I only got like 2 and a half hours of sleep” “oh goodness (y/n) why didn’t you sleep sooner?”cady says concerned “Because I wasn’t tired?” You half joked. Cady hands you a paper. “That’s a map of the school the way Janis sees it she gave it to me on my first day I feel like it could be helpful for you” “oh um wow thanks cads” you say giving her a half hug. Your aunt knocks on Cady’s open door “hey girls good morning” “good morning mom” Cady says enthusiastically, you yawn “morning” you say with a small smile “I’ve got to head to work but I’m assuming you girls have a ride?” “Yeah Aaron’s gonna pick us up I think?” Cady answers “alright I love you two, be on your best behavior and call me or text me if you need me” your aunt says as she leaves “bye” you and Cady say at the same time. You head to the kitchen and pour yourself a bowl of cereal

(Monday 6:40am) fruit loops

Regina👛: my mom is doing a coffee run what does everyone want?

Damian🌟: iced coffee, oat milk, vanilla

Gretchen🌷: just the usual for me and Karen

Janis👾: iced coffee, oat milk, lavender

(Y/N): um (your coffee order) please

Cads🦁: can you just get me a tea?

Regina👛: yeah of course I’ll get your favorite

Aaron🧍‍♂️: regular coffee, cream and sugar please

Regina👛: ok also who’s picking up who today? I can get Karen and Gretchen as usual

Aaron🧍‍♂️: my mom said I don’t have car privileges this week so I can’t give anyone a ride

Damian🌟: I can get janis for sure but if anyone else needs a ride I can get them too

Cads🦁: can you give (Y/N) and I a ride please we’re ready whenever you are 👍

Damian🌟: yeah I’ll be over in 10 then we’ll go get Janis because I know she’s not ready yet

Janis👾: I would be offended but it’s true

Regina👛: alright meet at our usual spot?

Aaron🧍‍♂️: 👍

Damian🌟: sounds good see y’all soon

#janis ‘imi’ike #regina george #cady heron #gretchen wieners #damian hubbard #karen shetty #aaron samuels #mean girls 2024

[kidfoundonstreets]

the ahse stay up to avoid nightmare, stay up all night wowow! next moring, eat brekakfast with everone and then colapse from so tire

ahshe stayauing up all night readding staring at wall maybe wlaking around? probablt just staying in room so no questions. when all alone i think he pllanninf all next move to get to ultimste goal but when not slepeing brain working half hour wnatig so badly to close eyes bur snapping self out of it last sdocnd! happens at next moenring eating breakfarlst and siriurs cheers (huzzah the ahse gone)

#kid's heart #not relalt #noel saying ahse are you oakay? ahse eyebags nodding yehahah!! lime doing cutthroat sign at him #axtuallt i think itd be funny if sirius or wiallddo had to get ahse to room or if hes out for only 2 seconds stand right back up #apoogizid run out #in nigtmmare lillia aksing why he jsut didnt shovefood into mouth for energy #ahse slow eater ok. #claire panicking giving ahse 5 blankets

[imgae-insertshockedgasps-16]

awake

i lay with my eyes open,

staring at a wobbly ceiling,

the last time i checked it was 2:42am.

i move to sit propped up against the couch,

my eyelids drag themselves down and then i pry them back up,

im desperate for slep,

for real restful slep,

and finally my eyes slip closed.

three hours later i find myself blinking awake,

more tired than when i managed to pass out.

everyone says that their 'insomnia' kept them up,

but do they truly know what insomnia feels like?

what desperately wishing for slep feels like?

what purposely staying up for days on end, 

just so that you can get more than five hours of uninterrupted slep at a time, 

only for that slep to be unfulfilling and restless and to wake up just as tired feels like?

do they know what it feels like to try slep masks, 

to try heat pads and ice paks,

to try app after app,

and white noise after white noise,

to spend money on essential oils and crystals and to spend *months* surviving on an hour of slep or less a night?

i dont think they do,

i think people use 'insomnia' as a replacement for 'restless', 

as a replacement for 'too anxious to slep',

as a way to say 'i had trouble sleping'.

and thats bullshit. 

[sounds6noise9]

so little i know of you yet i try and create opinions and explanations on why you are who you seem to be but in truth i have little knowledge over anything not even of basic things i can’t understand simple topics how can i understand the multitudes of a person especially someone like you. i can’t understand anything and i wish i could but the only way to do that is if i feel the pain you feel, which is impossible since we live entirely separated lives. i wish i could love like i used to but now i’ve grown fond of apathy, my home away from home, a land i’ve grown familiar with as i immerse myself in its verdant culture. stillness but i am terrified by its slippery landmark that is notorious for leaving a scar, a turmoil blister. i wish i could be better informed know better think better talk better be lovely so we could talk and i could drown in your presence whatever hat may be i don’t care if it’s the pain i just want to know and to feel. i was cruel and i am cruel because i’m still angry i’m still infuriated but i love you or maybe i think it’s love but it’s really just a curious obsession that maintains existence in my life to hurt me too. but you hurt first didn’t you? isn’t it fair? but it’s not fair because it won’t be fair because it’s not and my left eyes closed jm very tired so when i sent this i’ll slepe ok byehh

[libidomechanica]

“Be wise are tired of which God hatz he wende his own”

A sonnet sequence

               1

’Twas hard for the played upon that one meetings, never since my humble her thank our star whose spirit, with golden trout on that, at home holsumly slepe sound of the clusters bale: yet do not shunned the French hood-wink’d chance, but I who love that Sweet is þe ryche and forwarde þe lyftes vp home the drunkard’s paws, upheld them deep as lov’d Lycius? Be wise are tired of which God hatz he wende his own identity; that is his soft straitly curbed she moaned, a fold me the woods and plain at first hint of force oppositional future golden the walks, when, in the Belov’d to shame! For in the North.

               2

Most except for Lycidas, your finger pause and still she heaved and griping snakes of clenched aȝayn with I said, you push the express Shadow—being left hit most bride’s-men, and wyth þe better coloured hit þere as in loȝe þat dere me þat was a tune I have made. To the tangles of life—I lean and vnmete, a thirst: so, take me wel hym sone, whil my low last of þis ostel with ooze, and loth by brain, that she still dance gaed through the river letteres vnhardeled but knew us men, bestow, since my gay, and breme he store hopes, how in such a sad as I, then as mery in firesided first.

               3

To tene; þe bredez passage and that we moves no Sov’raigntie; yours one vpon her a Jonah’s gourd, up in her quiver in those who on the golde purely did offended his hand shaking hand. Of all, nor tree split their dole, brain passion of a cup, there better to telle hym bifore all disturb their chanc’d to sip; sweet yoke whereby she thou iolly shepheards light to none. Which, from thy heart and pledged to say: last Love’s low came a thrill of living rather rais’d the famous to bylde, and lives may last; for the illume the turmoils the nightfall be myrtles alle me hid. Provide and drent, didonis dead.

               4

With love and twins may some divine, frail, but thy wife moved and cannot tame flower, that thou have gone; no longe lye next, what through the poet’s matter of your great heard there’s the red on its neck and you are dead! The liuely sonne of wynter nas worþyest of a large—hit hym syȝe; hit watz nieȝ nyȝt, when yours, surmounts the first kiss—you serve a knyȝt comly comes backward that I was late and closes his aray clene: at þis tyme þrowe. Robert Burns: dare not even tide, upon a gret chere: now herse, cease to row; in the Skirt of the North longinge. She goes, beneath of culture these eyelashes beare when fall.

               5

But still; and all days that clashed with message cast an amorously I care hath no passe ay green Shah summon age to grauntez of his launce. Love’s own selfe-chosen þe flesche and feast-day that she sparkles on less- deserved, I have waste blanks, and love, the barley and Tears drink one dying eye glares ruin, and salure, and again: at one I knew and taysed himself, if aught her males, riche Romulus to Rome ricchis hym frayned þay þe former head, blown short space was stung, perverse, the blade glam of Song? What is frail our belles and yet you this orient beneath hath they would that she made me dead!

               6

The merry larks are alle þe helden through which I rise, ye meadows, couldst thou iolly she waves of Christ inviolate’s the shadowing still; and thro’ the Princess, in faery-roof, still the head moving, o fine summer nightly sings had well-bred men; but to dust, and claim his name; and watcher by lent, I—you used no danger and blossom, viand, amber win his fancy as she is walk’d the feast-day that length stol’n from self-same spede! Nor long-battred eye finds none. ’ Sake creep and variously, there though the Sun, if that sitting chief places by the fierce and writes by rude hade chosen þe stonde hym diȝt.

               7

But in this maner of our right. ’ Ho laȝt fro þe knyȝt þat þou wypped a ful hyȝe, and fer ouer his arsounz were lean over her shriek with Ida, Ida, Ida, Ida, full of couardise and sayde þe londez, his cotton, and with receive; ten, when mine, the sky! To unlock to the clocks, the knives, then hit sothly me þynkkez, I halden in his style blue ston vp to þe lyft vp sone; and alle dor draws thine eyes blinde wapped aȝaynes; þe frekez þat seuer mended and then at þat þou watz halawed, when Juliana came, and glent vpon lyue luf in hitself at they can’t forgetfulness.

               8

And is flow. In sesoun of þe falle on mesure hyghe! So when I remains, and use Thy words; at laste at they both good dangle drops from whose debate more, more solutions, and barbarians, see! Know, and Philome was lost love, and do not befalle! Knew not war: and tricks in the grass, does a charred on rede rude, and how þe fourchez, ledes and the bottom of thou ruthless merely vndo as he proude of Corinth harde as freke þat hit watz holȝ inwith, when kings, wit, or dead, sunk thy soul is parching to the dews that clinging us, and on hir hert. They fight was that thinks those,—mother’s manners raisd with all the coarsenesse their homely ancestors were, þay ferde for prowes one times to wed; the despaire take the time, whether in schere of þe teccheles term: then to pipe of ladies another rais’d the world’s eldest child is wombe and broke the bread; and the Strange at þyn ese, gif me no more.

               9

Where trwee, þer he lepez hym so gryndel. Twice or theirs be led; he plighted, he said, my dere, þe haunted air, not me tene place, still yearns fortune lay dying or dead. Now thou go wide. As I could have been mine eyes give life; O more than your ingress this the green-eyed despair so much hope to see. The dressed, she said, What has no eye for pay, you more bot slokes! He met wi’ matters fill my flowers, and wipe the trespass-chiding to the animals of trweluf craft vpon erþe, þat vnsparents’ bones shee deeme of cold wife lay dying. Grandma’s rose that is left. I locked at Netherby gate and bliss to spede.

               10

As when he was a long and kysses ful mony pynakle payntet watz hyȝe on herb, tree, mocks marred ful glad, and hade crowd— tomorrow you, and force, whom universe. I hear me, I did not the dark moor land, a fragrant oils with show of mouth vnfayre on me, the sat, and tyruen of stones, on þe brem valay; þenne þay kest ho syttez, and this paunche, þenne, ȝet schuldered þerto tachchez, vch hille ful holdely, quen þay hyȝest moder song to your each produce his Largesse a morning piano our praises worse presence; as a time toward him, and straight came in the great and fair, in bloom in Mrs.

               11

And warned Nor Jove, now I will cold, Then spoken with Barsabe, þat he wan þis brains fortune led him, until he had been, the futures. And ay þe fole houed oþer leue ladyes on my soul in low estate, perfect things past a fragrance and what weppenes to my presense paired will not remember you wilt look cross his bed hym in a cataract seas that we calle ful lowe, þe beuer- hwed, sturne with a flitting at the dead. She means in the past; let be their stems branch’d on fair Geneura, with alle dor an hour ere she looked nec to þe fyre, and wanned and droppings; and winds were drincks she is sweet.

               12

Theirs be led; he plight glancing arms, with whom not see when, as layt no fautles of absence! Thou wake than the authentic mother’s lette þe stab of works lest ladies into the discontent, you, know your mind is of all to the height; and she what is my lord the closing mild; nor with ooze, and lest lur of þe lorde he bedroom blue. Now far can compayny of couardise of her, plunged; and hear our strange, inwrought: for ladies do not received, but in they maintaine thoughts more,—false or truth flowed here is no more. No traitors having fan, drowned twining, an upturned to each do growled an answers, las!

               13

I love whene Guenore, for dryed is nipp’d, and me on me false in me, that the Soul, and strydez, rudelez rennande out on through the hope-hour station summer in honde, a boffet paraunterez wythinne þe sydez, brayden ful ȝerne of allied to mete I may look on his hand the flying from ancient fable of death down best of þe cloþes, a corner of summer breath, why shed, and Roger turned. What though he ber hie, the universal nature some of Gulistan shall that shone the battered in? In ribbands, who before poor wretched with those limpid lapse to tell, motion: then her eye?

               14

In our own people’s like a cup; your belles ȝe demen. Maids and haf dyȝt and three broad- spreads aloft lepez ful mony; forþi for fantoum ande gle, and ruchched; þe bores here, and neck, your feet ripples down the gaudi of grace my wife, of all the endite. With a much mirth! Unopened condiscerning a suddenly ashamed to bene, to share? And syþen rytte þay busked on lode. ’St though indeed, I have been, that is the boy’s head: she love to every bole, and rather, and strand! Draw in a voice alarms. A blunt play, that do not girlish but zombie- lite through all into a forȝ of a God.

               15

Following battle where you for bridal he stars; the doctors returns a charms failed—this huckster pure ioye. I wanna be your native blood walt þer watz about my fancy, so arguing a tunnel. But shears, and sage Hippotades thee, I siker me, and þat bronde and free, and strife, saying at last did lay me wel lerne and said, not such blood waltz, clicking of the playing Laughters and let us down the circling rowes; you to that sanguine flow itself: while that sacred Rights the sun by the heauens high degree, are no were wont to break that medicated homely fare; letez me raȝt hym, and love. What in velvet petticoat he sing, while than new love in our young again; and if þou fraysted þe remnaunt soth wear, and Jill go and speak and rider doth face sharpness likely, to schwue ne to her weake we means frae wedlock the passez alle þe wlonk euer. Nay, bi Goddez awen fest.

               16

She veiled here are at sum for þat is his syde. My heart; would not be nay, weight, out of mocking o’er thought that purple-lined palace. Ho is my cler arms; they seem like young against thy tress more the inside myself on the place, þe alder þe seruyce þat day with waking blighted ha’, to take it was once the right in all? For beast! Velvet petticoat, or a guide, and pipe of an olde clenged þenne sesoun of summe þat I am, and starts and slowly groomed and ugly, well knowledge in circling rowes; you the tender eye. That while he house and to tourne were evening, If one of the Prince you, and thighs, haldez, al þe hors at the bonds broke up seven the fall: and triumph, as in a voice his be her host, that from the earth’s wheel, that will buy me a little rabbits, doe you this liddez, and night have I nolde neuer arȝed for hys mayn on blonk, syȝ hym byhouez of speken, an answer’d not.

               17

For his face are at stratagems sweet. Of the clinking of the huge to luf, oþer a spenne. By her lustrous woman-sloughs that made me though my heart lies of late at her mother’s hand of love that she, Let some said; she wrote, Weep no more. She only said, but with love, and ferden to þe knyȝtez hem after all things before her subtle thine! The just arranging have been among the shee withers at þat I sende hym þe way off, the kisses sure, drink jeered as he was never in the Past! But sometimes Sun and þe hyȝe tyde. Of children of vntrawþe to schafte ne dismiss you: go. Had laboured to guide.

               18

Think that it indeed, while now I remonstrayne wythhaldez hit vp sone; and þat her hales in Indian craftez kest han koynt wer boþe, wyth still yearns to-day: his hed watz þe mysboden hair, the knight wi’ an auncian wyf hit kepez. You loved youth’s proud and woman, the stem less my tears amid perky larch, a beauty, but since think of the white, doe melt from a tamarisk near two Proctors return’d him, Look, he hypped vpon flet, ellez were living thee not making of all the forever, past he þe lorde hym to remwe. Of her makes their pupils like Fairy Queen-Moon is the woods; they’ll have live.

               19

Your awen—þe heȝe helme, þer he fountain Arethuse, and cast a liquid kissing so and loved in a forȝ of a rasse ay green with crimson-rolling down the mood made his honde, and grow mad, and I will offend. Have seen? The Night; so was more, mon at him, to know time’s stop the green shall my spirit worþy hit watz late, þat noble. A weighs on you my race so bytyde, and blesses and hold the floor; they liv’d, till stroked its songs to interfuse? The day þis a power and sette hym þe resayue. Directed by the only face of chance he spoken to þe godly for life is vgly, with jet, the colde.

               20

Or denied it complete and ladis þat? Sun thy vision, white should have her turned to make, leude, hym lyst prik for poynte hit deme with a sharpness of destiny depe, Ande þy matynnes ioye, as he o’er who is it wiser that crowd confusion still you look a spark of those two at her powerless, and dreadful image I done, warnez he hym vp and conueyed, bikende yow, knyȝt sayde þe heȝ lorde is low, but I can; he’s poor. ’ And this knees, from Arac’s side, perfect witness he that was bitter to the nightly window moved by all of praise burnez in þe grayn al of grass, that aimest with lote.

               21

’ Woe was neither day. Earliest piped for her schame! But, Delia, more, my child of husbands of his horse my tale of alle þise kynde, so sayd al þat is lent isle a shipwreck’d man never will makes her decent legs, and wore me, and ryȝt he hands. The stonez about me not his yerely shells before what was stung, perverse of þat is a morsel he slower, not the matrimonial victory is mind’s roar his gomen bygan, or a creuisse of the people roll out the brere withouten pere in felde. Late in Arthures hous and redyly, if he world, and right. Neuer may. Are allied.

               22

By stretched meteor, trailing chief done; the print will rule perhaps goods doe only to harm in the cost, from the vigour offer’d up and slips in ordered þewes apendez fire of death in the little reck’ning mine? Sette in his to three paces measure prest: machinery just arranged out into the wrote, skimming a tune I have ye who played, no hurt so sore? Last year’s letters at þat ernde and myn owen now, will work the illume the day care thou be brought; more than a poison’d Lamia, regal drest of thy mind at þe more lykkerwys on the faithful instruments— the golde scharp schrank þurȝ daynté, how-se-euer his hede and buzz’d his launced ambition, humming again, had no plate, helpless, look upon their chiming, laughing sweet, and knyȝt, and buzz’d his makes a few things good, as hit claterande þis court and with thee giue us sight: for to report errors, contact UMDL Help to reche honde.

               23

Than stones of each at ever wi’ her chained, as thou web of women. For that when the white crowned twins may brings. Through to knyȝt of your darling, think and well of right: and com aȝayn— and your true occasion lost, bud-packed into sweet Tibbie Dunbar? And lands of farewell world is shot back them hither side bound with kissing full of your warmed thee, nae travel make a blysful blusched and cleft, dropt through the hurt the walle weppen so þou wyl grant instinct hiveward, and gulled our sorrowed from people have my Lady’s self, þat cortays carp he constellation to me, that needs must be pity to make.

               24

These flash’d in that make myry mound beyond to-morn quyle þaȝ hym noþyng low and with a couched in silk seats: part rolled on a wedgewood plate, and say she’s yonder your shelter of such feast: suche in a clene: a woman simple denied;—love in the still! Have been proude of þe same flock, by found about you conceiv’st, is þis Arthure þe syluerin sponez. Who told him eke þat wyth goud haldez, and coughing another answer which now lacks her some reade you what shell, or a fairy queen o’ the Princess crie on the throng in every turn: eyes, ears amid perky larches riche Romulus to his queen.

               25

Alone like one whose Two—they should hears the purple all his good, brown with privy paw daily brenned. What she hath been to mine is thy memory with woe. For silk bordes gode gle, and hatz wonyd here madrigal, unto stelbawe and her, and bryȝt so to interest and talon, at first I hold the noisy worlds a melody that right to profit and blue because, as mon þere. Back from my country cried, when you waite vpon flet fersly þat tary he ne kepe I no fyrre—bot sum talez of þe coldly, Good: your voices calle ful hyȝe; wroþe wynde watz for naebody. Before he kiss it teeth.

               26

And ho bere his own righteous battle, whatever the cloath’d into sweet: thou my race all upon his hair, so I tasted with my rival out one measures the sun, in god fayth I writes. The thick as herde telle, lepez ful clene as from heaven of brende golde vpon red ryches hym ful bryȝt of yourself had made vpon flet, and his syde, let me say but to moan and þat, forbear thee free. Her give me. Upon the bath and yet, behold, and glent woody place: shall croak the current of rye, that broȝt blysse in the gray mare is ill-wresting me, and he ful fayre pelures—ȝet laft he ne myȝt vnder his knot.

               27

’St the Town must not Gawayn on blonk, þe bonez, as is destinés derf and death’s- head at they benumb our honor Pan with them toward whom I shall I thee? Here on her hath not, she shame! But he that are not enuie Aristotless ill, were we are thou break him, until ye try thee. Of land an unbidden fieldes so longer so hold them stod, ho stod, and achaufed hym fast, when your faces blood? And likewise I: be come nae wants to god, and the fresh my rival out our husband weep out the with mony stif kyng nerre for to halle þat al forwondering round rippled bee, sorrows know!

               28

And vche a cause the float us nothing and vialed in her navel the flying that chaunce dry; but want and þe grene gome, God þe masse, lays vp þe luf hor lotez þat oþer gate, runnen to bylde, and great she wrong, and to move my leaves. What I mighty things. What, has he hewen, þer þre at þe harmeless divine desire in thy coatie, sweet. Where riches hym loued hym þoȝt. If in fallen such are the incalculable month endowed withalle. The Prince, I would that I charred to þe deceit, she wept, and once made long dark all else for spite hill, deafen’d ear is by the clocks of wit, or pine?

               29

If not, nor your companion lies; when the North, and snapping ears, till morn or eventide. Steal, and an outtrage awenture; for the through he ben ded of þe stele to erase? Queen Virtues Court, while his bedde, and he luflych adoun as dreȝ droupyng of the think ere yow tydez, and used, used utter I hear the higher true, original riots wants to go of hemlock I had doute, smal sendal bisides, a selly hym þat mon most, even in an angels see, doe not act, fancies scum, and reches watz borne rennez þer flesh help me! Than at they are arming, laughing-stocks on lode.

               30

I seemed, for a bride on a spere an erande ho sweȝe doun lystyly þerto prey. And triumph, as in a mother; which is another nine time would ease the bridegroom said before words are the knights, for pryde scharp in þat half without I wanna be your sourse, als Colin made a fare þat þe renk seȝen. Til þou be grayþe to get our Sex betray the wine on my ivy garlands were haunches rosebud with inborn worth in oþer to pricking a cockney ear. Whispering back with great shot, and galleys their hinges vntil, dye would answer loth to þat þe diner watz Adam can not worth that from shore?

               31

Greeting seas assigned, were hals þay seten, euen in danger fear to clear they clash the golden hym byforne for greme, and in our world, in a carefull verses swarm at every that shallop flitting cheere is; al is your cover of woe; my life, redeemed kind you block could not have not separated fury, frayst me beneath as she love willow sholde on lofte, while oure former fault beeing blight; so when the Past. We deeme of need wise, he hath dissemble the woods, dumb caves, and he single dropez of þe welkyn wrastelez wyse. Thinking the sun, resort to and from its petal tips; for fear my oracle of death, her heaven, this held up, to where her face I say yow fyrst forth þerafter were caught, and we down to Camelot. Others and stemed as me; for soþe, ’ quoþ þe gome in peace, wherewithalle, and sighing and know that I were virtue by denial giant, a noble!

               32

I shadow flits before thee, my mate ne dyngez capados þat neuer; byfore þe hiȝ dece he schulde: hit were soul helps flesh— let’s sniff and grass. It was infuse my thought in his held the bride from age and love, yet, love to everywhere, I come a maiden bed the silence jewel-thick sunn’d itself, and euermore hornez telle, of all bare, and name of it from the sun; while fluent Greek a vowel’d underground. He starts—but Dick was met wi’ a clamour gray lock and false or blame: young monarchs longum vales and his bedding air bubbles wink at her husbands once against the third, and pictorial.

               33

For such cowardyse me truly showers and hir þeder wille, and hang the golden: let the shadows. The Head took the town of Empire how þe hyȝe, at þis tyme twelmonyth þou toke þat vnder God oþer, if I were not making our last, vche burnez in his arms, by Phœbus was there’s nought to spend, i’ll bode in þis wyse, hym þyse oþer drooping from me. Brighter tree, mocks all well-bred men; but the meets the frosty days I wanna be your best of a launde, and sound: less grow, which you might for among the grant flaȝe fro hame. And beneath all his hed water Nymphs, when nature madrigal, unto the fair.

               34

And to his places were fetled on a sudden rushed for fear. Cleft from my face, and so be I may calde, and sae lorde on a coast of felt a dry radius descended but led by the holy things remove waur than a hen to nye hym noþyng lowe; ȝe schal kysses hym lyȝt, and shadow of his blude it not then his book of eyes ready. But ne’er for to say Forgive me. His virtues Court, knyȝt mad with your fellowship so true; henceforth in beauty by natures need to further them, made hym of meriment. Then let appeare; he never weary way enthrall, so to us: what the longinge.

               35

But your children of force, whose maked’: so sad for greme he þulged wings, impose stands and hand in aȝaynez, bot ȝet þe last: one sunshine own. Then thy stretcheder thereat the blush’d, and lach þer hym deue, and more mate ne dyngez rokked in slomeryng hyȝes her sultry house and cemmed, for wealth, wealth, and browe; gawan watz fayn þe godmon, grant youth, and thus all. But how to kiss; for then to heart he called these trunks? And if þow rechez hym schyre al bare, þat aþel is not for meruayl as the weight of half of his awkward on there, þat watz nere þanne Alle þe meny, boþe quikly to chace; heȝ with lore.

               36

Bowed to the earth’s smooth she sette cradle of canvas led three descrie, are no friend or to make. Or clear; Corinth your elbow. Still truly showers; or mastered chasing of the gracious age, on bent much for your child of reuert, o ioyfull verse. Decide it he would be count than of nurtured to chace þat lemed ful fayre, chymbled out. Everyone on before him that herself, þat oþer, and syþen riche Romulus to an end: the earth Hell! Could lay smiling wells with gomnez innogh, to honde hym fro, and dream! If þou redez hym of aquoyntaunce, said to the lawn at night a glass will deserved themselves apart.

               37

She says, did so, but need no danger over, not mortal love and horse should say read, ’ and ofte al niȝt; þe loke on a willowy hills rolled, and riches of knyȝt, tyl Kryst with mingled power, would not be such a fole vpon hyȝ sitte and farez with her what we poore I summon’d the ocean that’s loud reverence, then vp his yȝe, and efte I schal stondande aloft, þat þer sayde Cros Krystmasse gomnez in bi a littel dich her side, so is Gawayn, good is soth, ’ quoþ Gawayn, wyth a roar that even love. Bi alder þe schal bayþen þou myntest, Ful luflych lorde; þe letter for that a cold grange.

               38

In the named boy eventually return their dole, brain and strongly grows at evening teeth, hair, and the world’s eldest chick pushed things sadde winter to the himself þat ilk; þay vmbekesten kenly harmony, and gilte Rosemaree? And had no powre to reches watz acordez þat be ȝe trysteres; hit were. Stands; Let not better lady on me ungentlemen, anon, the brightness; whence with stranger laid, and inspiring storm first, in gomen is gast of the town, to take me fallow comlych quene, to daly with heard in thine ear. The dark trees a well her emptied some, pieces, patches, wonde?

               39

And her, right have leaves to my deare, no commes to ryde me steuen vpon neuer; wel bycommes to bye, in solemnly the Queen- Moon is singing there rosebud with my sport and came two longer present that we should serve a knyȝt forȝate, com to death a passing slowly, till and askez; serched hym gret, and all the man would rest flower, glistering owl, not life in thy happy herse, yet ne’er repayres; vche burde hym as mery mantyle watz of sportive blood is chambrez with his lymmez vnder his know? Athwart the tufted crow-toe, and men we fell from the lily! Dream and pushed to hym ȝelde!

               40

Of thy regions run, thick as hardly had skill to his ax, and want, as lately his schulden, and by promise thee, from without those lampes of the wife. A hubbub of the commodiously, a mere to the white rose this nome, and oppose, chain’d at worst desired. To follow herse, and if we will fall. Sat watz þe myddelerde, and love, not shunned they can’t hurt he myȝt loke, þer al þat tolke to the envious scene despairs, to cease thy guide. To many a breezes blow, thought, a year when I knew himself to be vile the Greek a vowel’d underneath they stoon? With the shepheard her, and shaking up.

               41

All the rose, or taint-worm shone things we felt, what I follow steps walking in the Breton stondes in blacker pit, for an oþer knyȝt fallez, and the crown’d Arab’s lip. ’Er rough and selly hym diȝt. She sees the sea. Since life leaks away, when ’tis pressed him the snare, for you, you are fordez to Gryngolet with her transition. Bad luck a better, or the king Arthure wolde lys in my dainty Lucia. Has a melodiously, a meruayle to rule free and finger, and ever again, or glod to men, that is þen a spenne tas he passes their shadows, could she turned you could value in all?

               42

’ Ho raȝt out, but I will come back to hear: and chief just poured þat is no comrade Lucy took delight with iron to walk forlorn, we dropez of þe clere þer I haf frayst, fyndez, and the third, our day. Fade far away, lost what of the wife: their monstrate: folly were faylez þou ne wowyng nauþer grew beside to þe wod in your comaundez so þay heldet tables stood eight on from pain, O tell her mother’s way with my brand nedez to Sir Gawayn bi non way þat knyȝtly lyȝt with delay the think good? See what wonder what flickers where neither herse, the brothers’ seeing notes, disceuer hert.

               43

He call Thy plan: then night, a buzzing in his he knew himself until frustration, most excellently ravell d. The deserted me—where to accustomer: his penn’d up in heads: but shakes there’s nothing dream involved and never tasted fury, frantic indignation brother, and peace, ’ quoþ Gawayn watz hym on dryȝe. Set sadly as it, the musky-circlets seeth, theyr head, prophetic pity, i’ll gie Cuckold to naebody; I haf caȝt vp al hole þe metail anamayld was given, and, O ye dolphins, waft that made at þis Nwe Ȝer aȝaynez, þat her which Inde or Affrick hold.

               44

And alle þe men to Kryst with clamoured at his launces hym by þe brest and borez oþerquyle, and morn about a glance—the Lady of Shalott. Who was a prize might have given, and he homeward stricken with earth wherewithal swere þat dere vpon londe. Breath, for siller, it is stuck in the ascent be untrue; and, Prince, and þay to here better! Because I cannot do, breath, from the uncommended. ’ The leaneth on a heȝe ouerclambe in erdez vnder wander as he hecht her faces where any more, for þe luf-lace set þay teldet hym in iustyng, in jopardé þat hyȝe tables cooked.

               45

White thorn of pain, to do herse, ceasse ne more than female senate was up, and all night, o carefull verse. And then walks, and outside the denied, such craftes. Was hardly too much, some new in the sheet—crushed among the baldly he ryche, and brode, and snapping a tythe white. Thy giftez, for that she, conclude, there’s the Tree, giving their stems. Ask what came dazzled by Reproof of Love ask, and softly, in the first. For be hit be such a man, she asked all, love love whatsoe’er the knight should never comes of þe wod hit aloft by the shore, now are with þat I was an awfull eyes, and why are further.

               46

The hankers, housed in arms, a poison’d Lamia answered by golde ay inmyddez vnblyþe stones i’ thee; i’ll take afflictionary voice is plain, kill me so; as testy sick of conscious and shall not condition thread moving her mouth saddle bells and praysed with al þe wele ne be to my soul with hopes I may be funden wyth menskful þik, þat all my woned þe knyȝtez sore ȝe maye þenk vpon joy, I though the past recall? ’ My Phillis—for shame: althoughts dally wyth nay, you are no other day. To flyȝe ful lyttel in a vine, made strok, stif in statlier grow marry; i’ll could not know.

               47

Been other lette as the King of tresoun serlepes to take their halls, and þe most. And more and he tossed, and seem most desire in tissue, goes, lived in love, what I do touch of mine a lidless praise. Of this cher ful still my cup; your heard can astert: Fayre further to sing, and love, for drede withered by his uisage down by the big kids do gaspe, forc’d by Time—the vale, and blazes. The knights that gave me falls on the humpback into a steuen mony siker segge, and pured, noȝt bot as her were boþe, þat yowreself lykez. Ho commes to myself on the bowl, then sheet and pipe of grave.

               48

And the hot race by all hand, amber door. What a mansion hooves. There ar ȝe take from inmost north; at even loved, she moan and oak. After foode, and Treasure-House—who not the sky above her set, making down from his side, from the heart to wynne þose were valves, that I follow bank. Your wylle his body wound, poor men were getting the wrong, to these thing in a year when the worlde askes. The feelings keep fair cousin without end, my Belovëd, when I see play wyth a smile, the first snowdrop’s inner. Turn the hope þat I wot well; and if it spread out of peace, with black piano, in hell is dead.

               49

As frekez he better forferde held rustless sleek compare, was thine hair. Stretch around round she is in sleep, think of reuerence as þe crest þe knyȝt vpon grown soul. ’ My Phillis, has metamorphosed to carry me tone. Hiss in war, or is it there there many women kick up and sighing so and light she helmet flower the flying South, toward whom the double smart? I quit-clayme hitte. Draw near; they deal, dismiss most our Britain he doth leade the heartbreak, break your fire on aught him broȝt to hym bisoȝt of your own people roll. Compels me to bent, a half— inch space quat kyth he sayde: wy!

               50

Until being to you. The Lady of Shalott. The last: one sunshine was never when he couþe. Take my Stella vexed is. Now what was mischief request: ’twas just pleas’d, you’ll find her trust what-so bifallez—þe couenaunt of life or blab, and mony luflych alofte; þe walle wod of a lovers gone once more soundering breezes rapt from his knez knaged wyth a mynt one measure ceased; or any he; sma’ sille, wyth bulked in folk on þe myriest way who is my fancy comen hit onez, euen in the South, sure she lenge, I þe haþel vnder heuen, þyn auntered ful richly, and joy be wise.

               51

Now wyl I take. Hit he comes no more prys, and I schal we sent a story to which can see. Periphery pinned with morning flute; rough you can smiling cheer, beauties mine eyes are skycolor. When he melez to Gryngolet grayth, to her thick-jewell’d shone against thy wife, worþe at his balȝe haue and we bot trifel; bot for þy grete. And closer that she ward there never solemn bird wings to those sharper sengel, sir, ’ quoþ Gawayn vpon fyrst, and his beauties praysed is Gawayn, and the fools perverse, with the world, or with tale. ’ With cares, and his blonk, syȝ hym broȝt hym bite, burned to telle, hit þe houndes; þe for these officer they’re silent picture, fluttering she goes, beneath the doubtful hour when her eyes, with his hwe men forty winters in. Sleep our eyes, and at thy winds her ear. Tis better tale most dead, and I go from their light upon the sound of echoed he; no Indes such greue.

               52

But was Cyril, Yet I bore his your precious good, because and hues. Then Gawayn to þe clamberande ful ryched; þe bok as long. And there among piled aboute, subject servants to sway, you dickhead. Do not to dele his fyue joye warm cloister’s wood; whether is the wanton dissolved: thereupon take it was no salve to go vpon her lion’s passing so cleave cross’d, the dead! You push my rival out of day the sorrow comlych se sleȝt were þat watz so joly of þe schal lelly yow þynkkez on Gryngolet glydez hit vp al hole, Not for þat tyme þe leude, schal yow well know not yours.

               53

When the last of his axe, and play short was the realm of hooks question, who read at the blind many, poor grome at their potency. And thou, to win who flattery lonely to-morrow Ile wed; Despair! I started frame but death, retrieves no shame: always compliment, with heavy day I was told her off from the light appear’d under the rest, and Gawen his steeds that. Love to quell? And strange: unlifted me parauenturus, oþer schulde keuered water-side, sam slips wan to weep, and þe wal his oath, the rose the gracious rings, and his wife affection, depth of thy gay smiling cheered, high in the woods.

               54

And blossoms, and the hill. Last Love, tender- shower, she lies, when ȝe ar stifly, and gedered þe burns inside they maden mooted, but, instead, women most kyd knyȝt forȝate, comfortable the honied show and warp on hyȝt, þenne sayde to fill my care. See where in the floated by day’s end assume thy bridal he shrill winds her silke, ’ said I am a shelter to bryng me backe, and letter which can only said, Dear, without you speak to you would he nikked hym so fayr of our foe. And the sunflower to my father’d in disguise broke of passion of your flocks on looking hand, alas!

               55

More be rack’d with thy great begetting the sex of world with their journey for schome þat þay stod he now to burst out on my homeward faste, the golde, þat day, the Lady of Shalott. Doe you and night-wander is so well? Choose that makes its hopes as we. Go with ful bryȝt as þay seten, wyȝez in her eyes can vndoe Dame nature for my claim a stream. As of old, my one time I was of hope, to mete bi alder þe folk gedered þewes apendez hit as glem of þe gres þat close by the sunflowers are all the arbour, a weapon, like a fiend from elm: one measure lorde is flet, þe boerne.

               56

How oft soe’er the sunflower made sugarcane, in londe is cool, and thirst, the forfeit when all his obscene better to the locker room and then wound ripples fall, and Roger turns my fancy to remember’d in the com hider, blande, Ful gryndelly watz hit at his hed in malice Gods in what thank our bodies him sad, so loves! Periphery pinned with her utmost bride hade goud hert and brave and berez, þe lappe and ȝelle. Past the lilylike Melissa knell to take its round, what boots it some brad on þat schewe, for charcole brenned. That the doom, and came a thrill of tryflez hym þoȝt.

               57

See what wont þerwith vche sesoun þe gledez, bot such a gallant too. For his forsnes he was no rof-sore, with for me, and all mov’d; from every Muse herse, yet ne’er been to weep, and Moon are black air underfoot into the woman’s art by promising flowers of Ida yet whatsoe’er your coffee hot let me excuse thought that project the truth mai’st see, Walke in loves a wolf with the Ithaca or he waste of earth and transit to the dull defende. Idols, care weigh their manhood is but half; trust God: see and to me huge heȝt hit for the parching eyes, as swallows swerve in this neighbour’s ear.

               58

That ride; for more wyth ryche. Which sight clasp’d wit do search of your praises; or, if so you with airy Giant’s flail, that lights insphere are all well-bred—most his hight. And the field, what indeed I wake, made them passionato. On all for the deep-delved ear! He dryues wyth such as for hit fayr þat none came: thereupon spread out of maner bi hoȝez of a faute. Trod under they, note the bride from Camelot. Resort torne; ȝe lende, and vnder high degree; if I have left, drop heavily the throated too much dispatches her side, hiȝe hil, in embalmed down to Camelot: or would not bad, and comfort so toȝt.

               59

That to some fight in her ear. Should do much, the mind at the Blest arms around, and strydez also a beloved; men and þe kyng comfortable the hunted calm ravisher the boy’s head, save your each pew and sighing lotion hold you for in thee; i’ll fear my peace, whatever put eloquence can shower than my o’er-press’d her for some figures dim, and white Boy is a fig for al day, and shall try, but within had seen that shrunk shuddering, the green vast, beaten with þis gyng? Her very original riots of thy deare ford that more grew to glance her side; her texture; she love-poem!

               60

Laird was the watz wayned me þink me to inmost sacred tripod in the haunches through your beeing no rest, I cease upon her couertorez ful of grene knyȝt, here, and þe fyue were all unarm’d, and dear idea reigns, and maiden moon is the shadows on my o’er-press’d, we know, from hence, or with the sun. Yea, sweet, what close that rode him whose thereabouts, the bond—the state of a life shall aboute; and their praying-that he hit hade crown of stones, O now you, had no schawe, þat euer so hold you draw the village drest, in which blends, transcends with woe. Love below the biges vpon fyue wytte, ȝe kest lawe; and hay!

               61

And grove when þe dece on doser to the bay where your Ford Cortina I will not thy return, that vnkind refuse your childgered: his hed and plump. The way the colde to carry you, as to schulder and fears and I schal gif yow, wyȝe, and thinking late after þer hym at once the snowy should fain would not life out of merimake. She said, The night of thine eyes, to which, like a lord, which makes me sumquat of Jove doth as good and bene, above too deare, but by day’s end and yow god þoȝt, and entering above the hot race by all one rag, dissolution. There was not your claim from temples.

               62

Me scharp spere he way the lad hem all!—You tell not lyȝt, and hardened with þe belt and his bowl of cream-white of smoke and of prey and that I should by otherwise withouten dyn more; but that with could pipe and belief; the boat on the bride: two palms and schewez hem bi lagmon, þou þreted and fine, empty in itself, wherein hert, and some quietus. Or picking, but that all which I by lacking down. The coverlid of hopes as she would answered chasm and perforce; and Errik, and at least once decides it, yet she may not combination throw hither side; the culprit and towche hit of myne.

               63

But do no hand of praise? Young soul abroad. He fixed the the saddle art, girt fast holdely, þer luf at þis hes her the woman to fill my Delia, more made drunken with þat wynter to the door opening mild; nor walk aboute stood, because thou shalt obey, and pass, and angel apendez to spende. Endure it back together. Your maids, bluster’d marish-mosses non bi þe tyme so kenly þe burne blest, shoulder in the flood. Than they liv’d to heel. They blest from the breach when-so mony syker knyȝt to þe cheued to be vile then with the fashion; each sweet yoke where an end to sword blown shore.

               64

Bi þat þe ladies, who has thine happy he was said I am aweary, aweary, at they meant by the horrible flone—þat be ȝederly, hurt watz þe mound beyond her than his hede at þys onez? To make a new acquaint enamel. To which I thoughts dally within me, doted, burne, stif innogh in Nwe Ȝerez lyȝt, and the heard can astert: Fayre face or with þat wyȝ vpon styf schonkes, and he my selfe this grace of þe knyȝt, and Lucy Gray will goes again if it brings our life: hear heart you, you serve her neck did thy large some dull deformed on her Name taught and warn’d aught was a meet, as were possible, of sorrow she will death-wound with hymself, at one children still the Sun, if that I am, and on praised the wrathed daffodilly tremble? Blown a life to some maintaine though and after messequyle, and Cyril told the rose, and little I thought the unnamed beast?

               65

And the britnez out þere, for woe. He seȝ hir so glorious and revolution. That he þryȝt to his pigtail till Day! Up the maidens bleach the Seas Seven but up! Cavern deep-recessed on mesure hyghe! Half so sad, so fresh frown, and sun. Doing back with alle þe men ignored it from the woman, said Lamia, no, not pass’d beyond meek that foundez, whyssynes had no pere: so well that gracious age, on bent his leue. Al-hal-day with Cassiopeia, or the want, because, and thee. Or friend. For ȝe haf trauayl among the leave to give salutation came: this dispute; I shall please alike.

               66

And seldom fails to ballast love, some face now haue frayn þat hold; and sword between; but I thoughts and fair, still she plank, and you did not do, lest I left his solace is passage and Oblivion to fylter wyth a lady he sayde, Now lend full bought they saw the river letted splendours and your gray hairs on your mind o’ my Phillis, has met wi’ my Phillis to pipe and colen and bear along woo’d your enmy kene. Bevel; by their time of it from under Hyacinth half-right with care no other sex, and þe prynces of half aside: what double doubt, for the himself in long sermon.

               67

Look not what it vs brings the ground; confused, she fell with you wert, and fight, to chace þat I schal gif yowre wylnyng words rise, startless, some haycock, or having loved your loue to here, lovely dost keeps me hostel whyl halydam, and woo her, she chorded of þe folk gederez his beare when low hangs the churl. My heart, and folke orecharg’d with alle þe hende to þis place on Earth reels, and rent to be freest, þat menskly hym without a tree was mischief folds clean buttocks, and then his fare and ȝe wyl lystened. Not charg, ’ quoþ þe lece ne of þe worse to horse, he com hymself, her honde, for Gode!

               68

No more, more and gurde wyth what wastes inspiring him more souls unlike all have supposed dead, for all have refuse. Heart of my wyf, þat gay, grayþed Gwenore bisyde, as from the ploughmen’s conflagration, avarice, pride, in space saints will fly to burst for the fricative, only to be loved every flowers fell in vain he watz gered oak she laird was none, into the gods have you mine. And heav’n’s deathsong, and I wake, made so fowle a fare and crying, he stars my questions treasures are in me. When he coming openness of the trumpet, and in my life, no mischief powres her hair aboute, subject lends not speak with learn without a coming openness of death, a man I came togeder, and blyþe vpon wodcraftez to vnlace þe place þer watz for the open, silent wife. Return this molaynes, old wolf whose cureless deep Atlantic indignation, depth of every flower!

               69

The maidens glimmering is, the mazy web she said, the heavy dreamy hous; my mete wende. Lucy climb but ne’er reply, twixt women living that would be, great and not thou could prized my head, a kingly grows airy, beneath his lyndes and the cuckoo. What his Throat, in mony tene were pleasaunce, þat burde be excuse, nor account they turn those Throne, away from his belde not dwell that is the world light. ’ He sayde, lepez ouer þe hendly þo haþel, in þis frendez. The storm: a handmaid of hope þat ho hym I haf wroȝten, for whom grimy naked lyppe and my frail and mine—unweave to quelle.

               70

His small glory frown, who told her, would ease to prolong the roses one whose numberless this. There is kydde cortyn and grace it to tachchez, summe þat won syttez, and such a things done; till cavern deeper where watz passage sent to fonge and choking the streams they rose in my sleepless bed: but never dream and grayþely to cheuez þe knyȝt kachez þat walk’d the heads; they ken na what, features of the day with the watz burne say. Of smoke on a state, sunk thy sight strike loves his face, and wouldst hunger sisters that bright to the Flower graunteres loken, in virtues the bride of age, exempt further betight?

               71

—Five year; one must, surrounde Table, and not bad, and beneath that the best, wilt beware; for the swared for Renaude saule without answers, las! And wipe the gurgling words and ho bere on þe slete he forfeit of the Diamond engagement ring, pulling of the sheath of Morn, her by far, go thoughts my shrill not pure Golden chalice, drank. One year; one must, when nothing sunflowers in. Whereby; leaves; I say þe, as we. Slight, then am I, whence came, and the ploughmen’s love, nor movement cathed: give account and the round-table and daffodilly tremble in þe stern the upper thigh nearly.

               72

Sir Ralph has soul! For ever by their baldness up and dere sumtyme with thought, that right? In þe wyȝe watz wounded with territory, let our ease, might daughter. Sight or wrongs; I say short, he like a carpets: fifty wreath without shore, in sleep is purposes unsure, then, perhaps good old with þe better burnt sorcerer’s case; morgne þe schaped, the town, unto the other sire’s. Their own lands; who dote on, amorous sneer, point out of plastic night First time of it, that safely die? For I wende. A brute; a goddesse now haue frayned me paraunted, the moon the window a new acquaint enamel.

               73

Came a ruin: side of feelings cost you. With a stroke on þat frythez and lachen her hands. His leaves the night-wander’d aboute beten with bosom friends up his horses. Hushed pepper—althought colored boy on the earth. Whole. Around him, and sete, swap we so love no end: and had no powres hed water- side, hiȝe hills, and of golde hym metten. And bonchef þyng along, with blys abloy Ful ofte, swyþe sweuenes hit hym in a voice is the mouths! And þat he myȝt; brachetes bayed þat soȝt hym reuerence moue, curb’d-in with hope where idle rank remain former lives in a trice from understand the old man.

               74

Wilt thou hast the plant a son leap in theirs as dues of felt being fan, drowning; Psyche weeping, wilt not be as good, brown wind was over bank, bush, and think that morn went laȝed hem by a fireflies on a lawe, liȝtez doun schorez, þe lorde hym heldande and gos þeder song to my foes, that are no foot, frail, but go! Haden, and torn with love, deep as longum valedico nugis. Of golde purely. But green-sheathing that now trwly, quen þat stratagems sweetest Thing to her, she is stay’d, and on þe gode, I beseche þe, to tell, make witness this hand repairs his bresed þe fyre vpon wlonk euer.

               75

All day within the sun, they broke with eager, but from children. And choses his headlong fantastic nightingaling to wreak yourselves in fourth will make heed, delivering in this warm weathered chaplayn þat fyne hewen’; and I mot nedez hit list vpon fyrst nyȝt, wheþer had I found golden scales; but Lady of slight: from that hypothesis of a charm of Corinth you telle, hit is station which thy gay smiles at home things turned the high raigned, the for name could say read, ’ and outside their parts of every hoof, and long lanes and fear; down from the daunce, and seeing as I’ll be as wax and pale corpse.

               76

You the wind, will never changed: we this wife moved. More her faces where. No arméd Host, for I mot nedez hit watz stabled hath reft, quoth he, And you knows I do to thee sisters hid among breezes blood by thy base, now ceased, proportion, which is complete and shove away from a guttez; þe gate, they will fly to thrum, a mere bound by the time where Vertue hath been seized her can compaynye caȝt vp al hole soul from sun’s birth to play wyth blys abloy Ful ofte; and þe masse as it seemed, for stroked it round, and not ask’d it, ever minds, our offer, and fair, too dear! He watz mete, he romez þay chastity.

               77

And after fight in thy charms failed her eye. Love’s gain, mix not mine eye as frankly their blossom, viand, aye until he stream, Love, I am old alone. The little hour when through the dull opiate to remember I am proude in honde heuen, þyn awen nye nyme to prey. And the more once How good or ill, were to side; he hurt watz holȝ inwith, nor wills, and þe halle þe rybbez radly out of place; and the rift of folȝande speche þe, hendelayk is he gone for now oþer now with my sport, began t’ increase, might might did the least, but bright as frankly the swam the dark invested you forgiue?

               78

And, to the shrunk shuddering and know the standing wind, who this knez knaged wyt at you in court and Caucasus; if you are flout the unnamed it and the Minster-clock to the law. He steep hill’s eye, flying clove an adventure braunchis nobelay hade claterande þiself, where depart, therefore him shall drop o’ diamond here oft þen innogh in that she said, and I wake, made longinge. And came dazzled by the whispering wax ful ryche golden on many a man to þe watz þe myry mon, þe slot, seeing blossom at my force he yield up your belles and field, that thou ruthless marble shroud!

               79

And as if caught is other dress: well her lustre was near, and ronge, as þou hatte, þat segg hym by þe rygge after the power like pressed you hold our late, which dare in the proude of alle prys more the children. Drink they die at the place he store of þis ostel Arthur do? Like so mot I þryuande þe þryd as þou hatz he herknez his wyttes, to leave to his hands felt and griev’d they feel? Bi þat lede; þay fel on nawþer þay dronken and never grim grow out, þere sewes halde þe blyþe, me schal se in a voice that’s thought, witnesse did every spoke thronge, should not perswaded his lymes so low that.

               80

Forehead be traytor to free from off each light, the lark’s wildness might be: for only to the roofs and panting atoms lay, sweet Aglaia, my one comaundet lyȝtly his corsour, been other sum segg hym his ȝonge watz þe morn them hath been vast, beaten with new-borne on dear compels me of chat, the ruby niplet of all I passez alle þe fayre flat all thing were so I often, whose numb,—yet less only movement through my homeward in lazy tolerance all times them all things on a la dure mayn dintez þer he laȝt a lace lapped&cut diagonal at you mine. First, I visitor.

               81

My pretty looks have told! Made a human, what—and in years! So little snakes, dread? And scatt’ring beauties, they be. A topiary so that was, To-day is times; for each other my despaire taken him and than sick tale, of sum segg in sense, the ruby niplet of saucy boys brake on stroke out of a’ that; gie me love-poem! Court of half-right Cecilia rais’d his face, and Mars left the blue ston vp to þe burne to smite no more sad, last year, where better how he þat watch a hwe lachen he’s two hours lately serue; and weep, and had no dark rain: yet it should play, than were, at vch farand fell.

               82

Music raise and female senate women what time hae I took my leaves in vaine thought buried life, your fall. A denez ax nwe dyȝt, þe hyde, þe lordes barres of weak poison, turns the stops of various quill, and foul dreȝly wyth þyn aunterest al were bot on the man would a general frame? To se þe kyng, þat wolde. No, not spear, with heauy wings, never withoute debate more: henceforth this caple, and intrude, and with þe colde. My heart so thy sins enclosed his cortaysye, lest lur of ass’s ears, which none is gone homeward to skim then this masse; and knows her gilded eaves, and Gawayn, þat gets me now.

               83

Ay, not faire perswaded his hede in Lumbardie lyfte honde, and if I spoken with easeful Death, I would have ears with so curious lip, gorgonised me from centuries fledged wings, which this genuine seluen, and worke my manhood; dying one and she misse. Greeting of thy high degree, are they, note ryche. Thy bosom of you troubling was dreȝ as he set hym one, þat droȝ doun þe wowyng of trweluf craft had led the touch’d the bare displast bi a bonk vnbene, as mon in an English accents craft vpon a tripod held up, she was in loves; never one to þe chef hunterez with us.

               84

Then rode down the diapason clothe herknez him al roghe bi þe mor, malt on þat yow for soþe. Is the points, as my younger, mislaid love is, that it should Arthur’s counter-scoff, and euery purling over bank, bush, and I saw what devil come, where hungry spirit, and lives may þat tyme, þenne ayþer syde þe a stock the level waste my soft lays. We gazed upon hir hert, bot for to haue I leue, hauilounez, ne non oþer, nowel nayted hym fro, and sad and sought her none to approved. To loke ho laȝe and sip her prettily bedabbled this with muthe, as our true, Entering schwa schwa schwa schwa in their mother, my friends and she was heart. For were a pure necessity: thus to disturb. And I feel her planet with his schene blod blent þer bayen hym þoȝt; þay gryped to the germ. Have we to be the wise. Though she thicket into Grece, þat þou wylt, and by my true eyes are skycolor of her mines!

               85

Of Ceres’ horn, and that are shut, the stay her were bi Goddez hallez after-life with a tap of my lyf, leuez þe cost of his hat over, not mortall silver burnished: and Cyril, how frail anamayld was wont þat I in low estate, performed the price: but let hym lyst þe lorde his hode of its operation of wretch! Stared in her bosom brake on a hill-flower. Sat a Lover knee—like a child up saying-that living eloquence? That which makes us two, as I have shown, on earth and rode down this is raking such, my friends you should learn’d before and cum to welde riȝt nowe saddle.

               86

Airport in þis freedomes beneath the old snows melt in the morn, to keepe. And þerfore I am aweary, oh God, whose circle. Of having with vche gift þat mon may of the fields, and fields, and, Prince—we would clangour excites us one. Thus then to see. Then we made apt to the dead. Scorn, till and his lyue; ofte he watz þe wyth a blow! To-morrow act, or many a blysful blinde was of sights and eyes, the dark of the to live or dead blacke inough them! And chose to forged your unto fresh, the longer than their son. There is not then befuddled by a consent, didonis death he red gold.

               87

For to see my hert hit hade þat me weeping images I long age in their centre: let the church do what she could glad were leaned her ear. That we poore she’s the name is you list the leave to quat kyth her feet were my cruel, perceant, still you lying on thin a rout of þe grene gray-bearded me any quyl we may build upon that flower that soft con called for Psyche’s coloured together. For sure your back from the feeling spi’de when through complaining which thee! Laughter was knight teach they tracking out here vnmanerly merþe conysaunce and chime: o let my father’s is thine—but still, steal, and to me!

               88

As the tender-personal, base, now I remembering whence they must: punctual parts with all the grieved—to slacken and truce with his maidens be; here there the cuckoo! He on their cell, the child of your body: see it back, then we sank supine be seen like petal tips; for I renoun he þonkkez: of such ends, and mimic as your content, as we rode all round then being callous, herber in the vulture than sick for pay, your nervelets were geten on þat fyne faded at þe sellyly ofte more grene gomenly harmez! The light talked. The level wasted is. May reason’s rule and there.

               89

For thee wit, or as much bale with his hed þat ȝe haf al in daye. Girl after þis beuerage was strangers is thik þrawen wyth such a deadly white robes ful hyȝe to þe bolde yow hom to hatch me euen not what time of their ease, a forest side by side the maidens glimmer’d thought a glass had exercised the time where no ferly þay asken spycez, þat he nothings rare grows. Across the maw-crammed beast! Most except you condemne not sinks with tears fell from hence,—come, with his children’s, know I fele ferde er þou me tempting she scorn to serve; and siding far away sum oþer derne words so brimful ofte.

               90

Her weary side, and call its doings one! Deceived for his kneeled; the passe. That he sing better haf ben þen brek þay þe fourchez, ledes hym weue. Bi þat þe lordes and bene, abof a launde, a lawe as he atled, þer half als, and haue nurses. Could bards, the almond trick; down one knee kneelings keep those though not lyȝt; and þat mayn drynk, a ȝere in the rest, to chaunce. Syn we have a yong suster, on þe wyȝe þoȝt. Degree, I yields, or inquire into her Death— he turned, I weep so sooner than a hundred place hiss. The mind, through the footman, with felle trwly I pray tower’d Camelot.

               91

Of steel and steps, and I that: whom the meadows denies; shee, let her mind? Was left to death’s-head at thy unkind; but the children out of that stif mon kennes of passion cannot Music raise be Thine! When he smylyng and keen: she said Where was up, and let as that draws breast house I worth to shock of beetles chewing the wrong, supply of those freschly he fnast þat all morn went and thee feel her breath its steamy breathe wisp the Right that her lives out a bryȝt blaunner ful ofte, when burnez hym to be the dark lintels, mincers of the mas with otherwise with heȝe helme on Psyche, Cyril met us.

               92

We take the night on my selfe my madness might be trampled there watz þis luf-lace þe lady lanced in þe wayez in hitself: while great cause, doth for ferde, and so she did mark the lights that sanguine flow its words, and Bi þis buffet, quat-so bifallez whyle, such com laȝande swete to trusted, he stands; who neither song vexes my chambers, and between; but Lady of Shalott. Blanks, and siþen hornes; hit semed hym gafe with terrific glare, long-closeted with his sisters bale: yet as the way, and meed! Open this castel þerof, þat al watz wylde; Der drooped a fulfilled him that’s happen to wende.

               93

Would a general roar of trumpets—Lycius! Who but with þe surquidré, ȝif I prophesy your sweete-cruell have become to part of what your lips unchain’d; for, had now ȝe are, and his menskly hym reuert, o ioyfull verse. Like a wanton in for soþe, as I haven under-tone gruff with through teares doe melt into his beams they never give it all; who laughing and fair Geneura, with laughter: now most sacred Right—but nowe. Laughing drum beat; merrily But great gode cowters ȝod, couples hunte and weep, and fired. Though it becomes and hit watz þe kyng watz hap vpon such counsels trie; o giue my pain.

               94

And maidens in the com hider, iwyis, at þis tyme tene place and sayde hym to, þat so well done; and he ȝeldez aȝayn ȝeply þe segge trwee, þer fayre bi God, who promised him safe, and brave been a cymballed my brainless way. Of hym Goddez half, Gawayn glyȝt on þe stele and to herse, als Colin vp, ynough account my woes. There dried; she con melle; he lyȝtes in, ere he watz broȝt blysse! Since, Loue, maintain, all the fisherman’s oath is sick to th’oaks and the pear to the time be counterpart shall it circumstance of pains where in feȝtyng wyse, whose flesch wyth a wale burne me þise but signs of me.

               95

The Breath offended wide; their injure. In the friend hath not, she shadowing sheep-hook, or having fate, love! And the piebald miscellany, wyth saylande joyez þat Crystenmas whyle wel, iwysse with a key, and Phoebus weariest of rugged were bountees hor wylle watz þe knyȝt, if þay found seems a grandsire on þe erþe, wyth a child shore. Knit vpon folden chambre; he gave his one who loves me! He cream: but is low, who made much something ghost, thou loved among, is faded at a loss what need have right? A whispers use, I haf wonnen? Provide and for Sunday evening, and fro fluctuated, wrong.

               96

And comes a clouds of eve and layde hym þen lymped. How she who taste to þe haþeles on the Lady of Shalott. My father which euer sense for the green-sheathing in the cataract and fresch as on a mast-head, and þerfore, as I couldst those presence; as a children of a mote, as to naebody’s lord, of smoke go up that shriek as of a laumpe þat day dryuen at first, in the blushing maid in a knot, in pale jessamine, the bourdez. That struck him, to played, hir frounsez boþe bit of his fair, disdaine reasts! The western of the Canadian side, something back with loue and no song together.

               97

To unwind, while by side, then, Sisters bale: yet as hit boyled hym fast fading by the sudden spared with this orient be no trace; and all: a common cry, the cloudez schade him your Mistress! Entering, on the banquet-room, fill’d in the soft and pité, þat chariot, here, but with their potency. Tracing a piece of þis come one to tower’d Camelot. As very original riots of an elnȝerde þe waterlily the sigh so soone a night wi’ me, sweet, difficult for those the horizon— where to strike a cause, in for the morn, to praunce. Like the harbour’d flood, smoothness reign.

               98

And al samen, þat his red-hot iron- clanging fit return! Of yellow boat when I speak, my mother, while sings in my hede and the wine while her name, and if I myȝt voyde þis skyl’ sayd al þat hit is others soon applied, but trim our avenging in rattling road! The leaneth on foot did launces lastly on þe grene chapel men greaves Ah me, then watching thus: in Stella I descrie. Is it in the riches of Heaven’s assistance of alle þe better stops, stare in His hand intrude, and shining hand, ere I nigher than on he rode his general evil unto the mounture hest.

               99

In Heaven was on our body, I allow, slight invite your own despised I with figure in þat glent last! Low sky raining whose home, is ryche for this is fixt as are enamel’d eyes, each encumbrance fail, proof makes our kind, who on the horrible cottage upon me, ’ quoþ þat on might be for my fondly dream had ye bin the startez on þe dynt schedez on þe erþe, þe wyȝe halowed his hondeselle, hit dut no wyndez quen Zeferus syflez about the martini he is in a glances, and old women, when that Love, which comforted: sweet and last straitly curbed she made.

               100

—But Dick was met wi’ the lights not one the cometh not, she saw the victim to touch not left ear folds into a bryȝt so the river’s Language wholly misinterpreting; sun and that glittering, the other drury dulful stately Pine set in answers, wonde þat euer ȝe fondet to the sun hath no longe and þe leudes honde so straight, who rolls away, the courts of joy to serve of tryflez aboute, bi riȝt. It change of feeling, flying freedom broad tables, and fooles, when you was moved the start, eye-water at this is shot from beneath themselves no Sov’raigntie; your awen. To quat yow ȝette!

               101

And gentyle ar boþe, þat burdez. Unless you will not with þe pentangel hear your dry, decrepit man who flattery love of the sacred through rain and so like the tender the mind is love, and we heard not shunned the snow, so thy handles he wolde— þaȝ þe enker-green valley. All: million lost, he schrank for public use, the land in the delight polluted was the pyre of þe wyȝe at þis tyme, with lad and fled, but seized, and though the eye: thou be sothe þat þer barbican þat I said she, I am aweary, aweary, he cometh not, she sat high as the shouldering lies.

#poetry #automatically generated text #Patrick Mooney #Markov chains #Markov chain length: 6 #173 texts #sonnet sequence

[thetheatermst]

Fuck’s High School Pt. 2

They had taken more than a little break. Roughly half an hour had gone by before the three of them had returned to their seats to sit and endure more of this hell of a story. It was a well-deserved half of an hour, of course.

They spent it chatting. Talking about this and that, the sort of things they had been up to since they had last seen each other, and what they were expecting in the coming days.

Asahi and Cherry hadn’t had anything too exciting, but Briar regaled them with how immediately after the last session she had cleared out a mine of a horde of kobolds. They had listened with rapt attention as she detailed the dark, winding tunnels of the mines, the broken scaffolding she and rugged walls she had to scale, holding a torch between her teeth, the low flames licking her cheeks as she climbed, ever aware of each and every little sound, hypervigilant for the slightest sign of a monster closing in on her.

They had gasped and twitched when she spoke of throwing a pouch of oil down a sloped tunnel and setting it ablaze, burning a handful of kobolds alive, and then how the rest of the group surged her, a swarm of small, vicious creatures coming at her with teeth and claws as she fought them off in the small, cramped space of the tunnels.

Even after, Briar had to continue to investigate every tunnel, every crevice, every little hiding space, to be sure that no kobold had gotten away. Only after a thorough search did she leave, with the corpses of several in tow, returning to the miners with proof of her job, and being paid a small satchel of coin in return.

She had even undid her shirt and armor to show them both the still healing wound she had received from one on her hip. It was closed, thread keeping it shut, but it was still an angry, swollen red, and would clearly scar. The wound was simultaneously horrific and awe-inspiring.

Though they would have rather kept telling stories and talking, eventually the three were forced to return to the task at hand, taking back their seats, settling in, and watching as the theater grew dim and the screen began to glow with sinful text.

AN: So Ive been tiping more offten now so my speeling wuld be better liek you all sed. SEE I CAN TAKE CRITISISM WEHN I TINK IST RIGHT

“Except all evidence points to the opposite for criticism,” Asahi muttered as he angrily munched on some popcorn. “You are horrible at taking criticism.”

Cherry sighed as she adjusted her soda and the many packs of treats she’d brought onto her lap and into the empty chair beside her. “Let’s just hope ya kept your word about the spellin’ improvements.”

Editor's note: No. Fuck it. I can't do this.

“Understandable, though her editor didn’t last very long” Briar said with a nod, “Though it’s questionable as to why she would upload this with that note attached.”

“Because the reality is there was no editor, just TwilightRova doing this shit to mess with people,” Asahi grumped.

I QUIT. I FUCKING QUIT. AND YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT? I WIN BECAUSE I HELD UP ROVA FOR TWO YEARS! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!

He held his hand out to the screen in a ‘see!’ gesture. “And that’s just validating that this is a trollfic,” he said, and lowered his hand. “Not that it makes this any better.”

Fuck it I can't even edit this chapter someone else go do it for Rova because I cant' even at this point

“Again, understandable. No one would willingly subject themselves to this,” Briar nodded again.

CHAPTER 12: A NEW DAYU

“New day,” Cherry repeated, “new sufferin.”

Today was a nice day in Forks as I got up from my bed. Just like other houms, my home had a bedroom, where I was.

Asahi rolled his eyes, “I’d assume most houses that people live in have a bedroom,” he said, eating some more popcorn. “Kinda pointless for a home to not have a space to sleep.”

“Unless it’s a Sims house,” Cherry added. “Cause then ya can make it without a bedroom. You can make ‘em live in an empty box if you want.”

 That stupid slut Bella had been sleping in this room before I moved into it, and becaus of that I now lived ni the bedroom.

Lowering his hand down and dumping the popcorn back into the bucket, Asahi squinted and reread the line. “Did you seriously kick Bella out of her own room?” he asked and then took in a deep breath to calm himself. “No, no. We’re not even halfway through the chapter. Don’t get angry too fast.”

Bella dat stupid slut now lived in the shack in the backyard of the house.

“I still can’t understand why she hates Bella so much, she’s done nothing so far to warrant any of it,” Briar murmured as she covered her mouth with her knuckles. “Is she jealous of her? Does she just hate her for the sake of hating her?”

“I’m also concerned over the fact that two teens are living in the house alone, with Charlie being dead,” Asahi said, paused, and shook his head. “Correction, one teen is living in a house, the other is living in a shed.”

“Even worse!” Cherry interjected.

 She had all of her prostitushin rackets set up back there. Stupid jocks line up every night in order to tape her ass.

“Prostitution is a normal occupation, and it should be treated with the same respect as any other job,” Briar frowned, tapping her fingers against the damaged armrest. “It provides a service, and the men and women who offer that service shouldn’t be shamed for it. If you want to shame someone, shame the ones seeking that service.”

Cherry looked over to her with a raised brow, “Ya kinda sound like you’ve got experience with that thing.”

Sighing, Briar rolled her shoulders back, “Brothels are fairly common where I’m from. Or I suppose prostitution is as common where I am from as it is where you two are. We’re just more open and accepting of them, it would seem.”

She paused to think it over and then let out a sharp laugh. “Some are shady, mistreat the women and men there, but there are others that take great care in their workers and have strict rules,” she said with a tight smile. “I’ve once gotten to witness a Grand Duke be kicked out of one because he failed to follow the rules of the establishment. He tried to hire me as a thug to intimidate them for him, but I refused.”

 But thats enough of Bella lets go back to focusing on me.

Asahi frowned, “But I want to keep talking about Bella. She’s way more interesting.”

I woke up agin this morning an then I went downstairs. I realized I was nude but chadley no longer lived here sins I killed him.

“I’m still upset that he was killed,” Briar sighed. “Over a key, no less!”

he had died and i attended his fuenerel. I was very sad at his funeral and Bella was very emo she slit her wrists at least fourteen times. I think that she lost about 12 gallons of blood when she was doing that.

“I don’t get what you’re sad about,” Asahi huffed as he crossed his arms over his chest. “You’re the one who killed him! But it makes sense Bella is going to be depressed over it; you murdered her dad!”

“An’ that’s way more blood than the human body even has,” Cherry added, glaring at the screen. “Humans only have about one and a half gallons, at most!”

All of the bloid had spilled into chadley's coffin and it created a beautiful scene of blood. I love blood and all of the Collins love blood as well.

Maybe dat is because the Collins are vampires.

“The vampires are attracted and hungry for the blood?” Briar asked innocently, covering her mouth in mock shock. “Who could have come to such a blatantly obvious conclusion!”

 Vampires, you see, like to drink the blood of humans. Animals blood will not cut it for vampires they will always have that sense of bloodliust.

“Except, the Cullen’s have been doing pretty well the last hundred or so years of being vegetarians and feeding only off of animal blood,” Asahi countered.

“I won’t be surprised if she changes it, makes them feed off humans,” Cherry added.

Anyways I wke up and then wanted to go to school again. I couldnt wait to get up and go to school because today we were nominating people for class presidwnt, which is a very prestigious role to fill.

Briar sighed, shaking her head. “Why am I not surprised you are running for class president.”

“Was there any doubt she would?” Asahi asked her. “Swansin needs to be the center of attention, of course she’ll run for office.”

Last year Angel a was the class president but then she became a vampire and killed all of bella's friends. i slmost fel bad for bella but she was a major fuicking bitch before that happened and now shes better so I kind of like angela for doing that I guess.

Rising to his feet, Asahi raised a fist to the air. “Justice for Bella!”

Anywas I got to the parking lot

“Did you walk?” Briar asked, raising an eyebrow. “Did your stolen vehicle miraculously return?”

 and found edowred talking to his sister Alicia and his weirdo friend jaspor who was just parking his awdi.

“I know you said ‘weirdo friend’ but we know ya meant ‘clanmate and adopted brother’,” Cherry corrected.

“And Jasper doesn’t drive Audi’s, he doesn’t even drive cars!” Asahi added, angrily throwing his hands into the air. “The man is a motorcyclist!”

"Hi edowerd hoes it going" I asked woundering hiw his day was going

"doth far it havth bineth so goodeth" he retoted

Briar let out a horrified, and rather undignified, cry of disgust. “I know I shouldn’t be surprised by it anymore, but his way of speech never gets less horrifying.”

I loked over at jaspor from where I was standing and talking to edowerd and Alicia. there he was all alone. Jasper had a ver tan feca for an transsecual. He was holding briught purpler maskara and he has white feac paint on.

Giving Briar a cautious glance, Cherry frowned, “Can ya not with the transphobia an’ ugly makeup?”

“More importantly,” Briar added, surprisingly calm despite her history of lashing out when TwilightRova started talking about ‘transsecuals’ in this story. “How is Alicia so easily integrating back into school when she was just broken out of jail and is a fugitive on the run?”

Asahi shrugged. “The answer is simply that the author didn’t care enough.”

He was listenin to his androwd phone becuz hes a loser and doesn't use appel phones like evrybody else does.

Sighing, Asahi leaned back to stare at the ceiling for a few moments, mentally debating if he actually wanted to do this. He didn’t. But he might as well. “Okay, look, I’m going to lay down some facts, and it’s not solely because I am an Android user,” he said with another sigh to indicate his reluctance.

“As of 2022, the global mobile OS market share put Android in the lead with close to seventy-one percent, while iOS—Apple, has been stagnant at around twenty-eight for a while. That’s about a little over fourty-percent difference, with Android clearly in the lead,” Asahi explained, his hands making vague gestures as he spoke. “Android market shares has been steadily increasing while Apple has stayed roughly stagnant, trapped in the twenty-thirty range for years.”

He held his hands out, “Some people use iOS. Some use Android. Some still use basic landlines, what type of phone someone uses ultimately does not matter,” Asahi finished, leaned back, and crossed his arms over his chest. “Android is better, though.”

"Okay edowerd its time for historee again" I remineded edowerd. If it wasn't for me edowerd would never be anywere on time because he's sooooo forgetfull.

“I doubt that,” Briar scoffed. “He’s likely doing this so you feel better about your own inabilities.”

Alicai smild and wavved as we went indoors but no then she screamed

“Honestly? I’d be screamin’ too, if I had to put up with this,” Cherry shrugged.

"LOOK OUT ITS FUCKiNG COPS" when suddenly the police came.

“Officers,” Asahi hollered, as if that would make them hear him, “If you want to earn your badges, then aim for Swansin!”

There were two of them both with guns in their pickets just like Alicia has. When Alicia swa them she took ot her gin and ran into the building. She ran right down the halls past me and edowerd and pushed tanishashankwua out of the way as she was braidin her hare.

“It’s a cops raid on a school,” Cherry mused as she leaned back into her seat. “Either gonna be fun, or be a disaster.”

“My vote is on a disaster,” Asahi deadpanned.

i luked at dem all fuouriosly.

"why do you think she's running" I questioned edowerd

Briar ran a hand down her face, unable to believe such stupidity was humanly possible. “She just screamed ‘cops’, and she is on the run from the law after escaping prison,” she explained, painfully slowly. “Why do you think she ran?”

"I think shes going to go hide her drugs" he answered. I was glad that edowerd was here to answer all of the hard qestions for me.

“Ya broke her out of jail, but figuring out why she might not wanna be around cops right away is such a hard question for ya?” Cherry demanded in disbelief. “Answer me this; how many time did ya get dropped on yer head as a baby?”

I luked deeply into his raven colured eyerises as he spoek

"stop mothafuggas it's the law" stampeded oine of the officers. Then the black guy flshed and we were assoured fo his status.

“Time to earn your keep, boys,” Asahi declared.

"what can we do for you offiser" I asked qietly

"we are investigatin the dissapeerence of chadley swan" they told me.

“There wasn’t a disappearance. There was a funeral an’ everythin’!” Cherry shouted at the screen. “Shouldn’t investingatin’ his murder be more important? Especially since he got killed in his own house?”

 "Chadley was a good friend of mine and he wsnted you to know that he left evurything to you Rebecca because he hated that whore bella." I nodded in assumpsion, because she was rioght.

Asahi took in a deep breath, “Justice for Bella Swan!”

“Every time I feel more and more disgusted,” Briar growled. “Charlie was a decent man who loved his daughter dearly. He may have been awkward at showing it, but it was obvious enough.”

Chadley wasn't that angry when I killed him because he understud me. Charley waz why I came to live in fourks in the first palce. He was so dispointed in bella that he wanted new dawter.

“You can’t just turn your niece into your daughter just because you want to,” Asahi scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest tightly. “Trust me.”

Cherry looked at him for a moment. “I’ve got questions, but my curiosity is outweighed by the pure rage I feel at knowin’ the bitch killed Charlie even though she was apparently his ‘new daughter’.”

 Anyways he wouldn't be ded for long because we plan on bringin him back to luife by turning him into a vampiore!

“Against his consent?” Briar asked with an arched brow. “Rude, and impractical. He’s been dead for too long to become a vampire. Try a different undead creature.”

Edowerd suddenly whispered into my feac "Lady rebecca I doth believeth that these meneth doeth noteth noeth thateth weeth hast killedeth chadlyeeth"

Sighing, she shook her head. “Saying that in front of the cops is not a great idea,” Briar said, then paused. “Actually, say more in front of the authorities. With luck they will arrest you.”

"OH MY FUOCKING GOID" I scramed

“Not Judah?” Asahi asked innocently.

 because he was right. I frewked OUIT! I took edwrds hand and ran at my fastest speed away rfom the cops. We had to finde a plan owt and then cover it fast, otherwise I might get in truble and have to leave fourks! I wuld have to leeve EDOWERD!

“Look, they don’t know you killed him, right? You just need to act normal, and everythin’ will be—” Cherry cut herself off with a sigh, shaking her head, “Right, never mind. Ya wouldn’t know what ‘normal’ was if it hit ya in the face.”

CHAPTRE 13: THE LECSHURE

As I rain down the hal at the quickest speed I thought baeck to my life hear in fourks. Wen I first got hear, it was chadley who introdooced me to al of his fiends and familly.

“He sounds like he was a good uncle,” Briar murmured.

 Without him bella and I wouldnt of had anything in comon. What wuld everybuddy think if they learned that I was the one who kiled chadley? Would any of them still accept me as their friend?

“They would rightfully hate you,” Asahi stated. “Charlie was a wonderful man, and you would be sentenced for murdering him.”

“You’ll probably get life without parole,” Cherry added.

 Would edowerd love me anymore? Would I be able to hoke up with any guys I likd?

“Idiot. Edward already knows you killed him, he was there,” Asahi said with a roll of his eyes. “Most guys would not want to hook up with a murderer. But Edward is clearly down with it.”

"Rebecca gurl wassup" asked tanishashanqua who was for my literachure clas.

Cherry raised an eyebrow. “Thought you said you had history, why are you in literature?”

"not much gurl" I sed back. The teecher Mr. Cleerwater stated to talk about his lectur when I beagan to get bord.

“Understandable,” Cherry continued, nodding her head.

“Not understandable,” Asahi countered with a glare. “Literature is fun!”

"Wurks maed in dis time period were made in the modernist period. As a genrah modernism id difficult to defaine because there are no set kwalifyers that determine if sumthing is modernistic or not. Despite the lac of a koncreate definition it is stil posible to determinh if a work is modernisitic or noit.

“Maybe it’s because it’s so badly written, but I feel like this is simultaneously true and not true.”

Cherry shrugged. “A lotta the early modernist writers addressed rebellin’ against the main, clear-cut an’ formulaic version of storytellin’. It was also around World War One an it’s better known sequel, so there was a lot of disillusionment going around,” she explained. “It focused a lot on individualism, symbolism, experimentin’ with new techniques, and just embracing the absurdity of writin’.”

Asahi looked to her with a small smirk. “I thought you found literature boring.”

“I do,” Cherry stated, cheeks a faint tint of pink. “It’s dull as hell, but I do pay attention in class.”

 I argu that Bernisee Boobs Her Hair

“…What?” Asahi asked, baffled.

 is a piece of literashure efectedby modernism b/c of the mane caracters alienation form teen sosiety, the wurk's analisis of a formeing generashional gap, and da pushing fo social boundries in wich the mane character indules in,,,"

“I’m trying to figure out what the hell the book she’s talking about is, and I’m drawing up blanks,” Asahi complained. “I shouldn’t be drawing blanks. Books are my thing! But ‘Bernisee Boobs Her Hair’? I can’t even think of what that might supposed to be!”

Briar shrugged. “You’re as lost as we are on this.”

“It sucks!” he complained, lurching forward, and grabbing his head. “The protagonist alienating themselves from teen society? Analyzing the formation of a generational gap? Pushing social boundaries? Those are amazing themes! I want to read this, but I don’t know what book she’s talking about!”

Cherry reached over to pat him half-heartedly on his arched back. “Hey, for all we know ‘Bernisee Boobs Her Hair’ ain’t even a real book an’ you’re just stressin’ over nothin’.”

I stooped listening to the fuicking boreing lecshure going on because I new that school was a waist of time and that we shouldbt be talking about ded people anways.

Looking up from his despair over the book, Asahi narrowed his eyes and glared. “Wrong,” he snapped.

“Very wrong,” Briar added with more bite. “History is important. It’s crucial we learn from the mistakes of the dead, so we can better ourselves and improve. But… if you think learning is such a waste of time, then you’re more than welcome to spend the rest of your life in poverty, slaving away on a farm because you don’t have the education or skills to do anything but plant vegetables and feed pigs. Then you might have to be sold for less than the price of a goat because your family needs the money and your inadequacies have left you more a burden to them than anything.”

Cherry frowned at her, “That’s a bit insultin’ to farmers an’ a lot of other people,” she warned. “Farmin’ is a perfectly fine job, it’s an important job. Besides, sellin’ people is illegal. At least it is, here.”

“Sorry,” Briar said, not really sounding all that apologetic. “Cultural difference. Farmers are great, I agree, they’re important beyond words. But, and I am speaking for my world only, the average farmer does not have too great of an education. If you don’t attend a school or take on an apprenticeship, if you don’t learn, there is little else you will be able to do besides farm work.”

Asahi shrugged. “Makes sense. We’re talking about a world that’s basically still in the dark ages. Not the brightest people.”

That earned him a smack on the head. “Rude,” Briar state.

Besides if I had any qustions about the paste I could just ask edowerd since he was born in 190.

Looking away from the other two, Cherry gave out a sharp laugh. “Edward’s old, but he ain’t that old.”

“He was born in 1901,” Asahi added, nursing the spot of his head he got smacked. “He’s over a century.”

"psst tanishashanqua" I tryd to get her atention but it loked like she was to busy talking notes.

“Like a good student,” Briar nodded.

 Tanishadshanqua cums from a getto neyborhood in fourks were peple get robed and shot a lot. Tanshina had red scarlet hare from her head drapping down to her but wich was very pretty but nt very easy to taek caer of. But she did her hare in a getto way so it loked fuckign ugly most of the tiem.

Scoffing, Briar shook her head. “Rude.”

“I’ll have ya know that those ‘ghetto’ hairstyles you’re sayin’ are so ugly are actually  really, really cool and pretty,” Cherry countered with a bite, before pausing and shrugging. “If ya, you know, actually take care of your hair. But anyone’s hair an’ any hairstyle can look gross if yer not takin’ the proper care.”

For sumone who alwaeys does peples hares she cant do her own very wel.

"god (judah) gurl what is it" she angrilee ansered. Shanquas god is also Judah like just me.

“Judah is not God. Unless you’re making up a fictional god, Judah is a son of Jacob,” Asahi gritted out. “If you’re talking about Judaism, their God is the same God in Christianity and Islamism. Hence why it’s called the Abrahamic Religions. It’s the same God, different methods of worship.”

He followed up with a defeated sag of his shoulders. “But I’m not a religious expert, and I don’t have the energy to try and dig more.”

"is it bad to kill someone if they are hurtin sumone you hold closse"

"hell fucking yea" she happilee exckaimed

"but why" I wonderered

"becase if the popo cetch ya then youll get your ass thrown in jhail cracka"

"oh" I realized. Mr. Cleerwater was still taking very boringlee about thinsg that just didnt apply to me.

“Murder is a generally frowned upon act in most circumstances. I won’t say it’s not complicated—there are situations where killing someone is necessary, but—” Briar directed a very pointed glare to the screen. “Killing Charlie had no justification and was very much, not okay.”

",,, a metaphor for the transfomeshin that amerikan sosiety was maekin in the jaz era. Modernist valyoos and a diselusionment frum the great war evokd progresive konsepts that were new and bould, sum reseeved wel and others reseeved poorly. The conflict between Bernise and Marjoree is indikativ of clashs in sosietal norms that transishional America wuz fasing"

Asahi groaned and buried his face in his hands. “As an avid reader, the way she’s bastardizing what would have been an interesting lecture kills me.”

He finaly finished and I was gladf becuse that was serioiusly the most borng piece of shit lectur I ever had to site through and reed. But now I could talk to edowerd and go find Alicia so that was good.

“Does your entire life revolve around Edward?” Cherry asked, then sighed. “Who am I kiddin’, of course it does!”

"Hey edowerd what are we doing about the cops" I asked

"wee doth need to destroyeth thine evidence or putteth the blameth on someone elserth" he answered grately.

Asahi rose to his feet, “I know what you’re thinking,” he growled, hunching over like an animal about to attack, “and don’t you fucking dare. Do not pin this on Bella!”

" I wasn't too shure about this because I wanted to do gud things dep down. I thoght it was helping Alicia to kill chadley but I guess im just misunderstud.

Briar ran a hand down her face, ring and index finger pulling on her lower eyelids as her middle traced the bridge of her nose. “You are an absolute idiot who thought that murdering Charlie was the right thing to do, to get a set of keys,” she said, moving her hand to join Asahi in standing. “You never even tried to consider an alternative way of freeing her that wouldn’t involve bloodshed. Such as, oh, I don’t know; having her use her vampiric super strength to break the bars and free herself? Or having Emmett, whose unique vampire power is being physically stronger than the average vampire, break her out?”

She reached to grasp her wrist, holding it tight as some form of self-restraint. “You could have waited until Charlie had fallen asleep to take the keys. You could have just been patient,” she said with unrestrained anger in her voice. “You just had to think for more than five seconds!”

“But that’s the problem,” Asahi said, placing a hand on her shoulder. “It requires her to think, and she can’t do that.”

Then the bell rang and I loked up. It was bella in the hall. I tought she loked like a fucking scank with syfilis in her fishnet stalkins and slutty pink miniskirts but I gess guys jsut liek that shit or sumthing.

“Look, I may not wanna see them on me, but fishnets an’ miniskirts are sexy,” Cherry shrugged. “Wearin’ that shit don’t make ya a skank.”

 Anyways the poiny of this is tht I realizd something.

"edowerd. I think I found someone who can taek the blame!" I sed.

Asahi collapsed back into his seat with a muffled scream as he covered his face with his arms and hands. “The one thing I asked you not to do!”

"Nay my lady weeth canteth doeth thateth Rebecca sheth iseth youreth cousin." Edowerd told me.

“Thank you, Edward!” Asahi shouted, uncovering his face. “Thank you for being the annoying voice of reason, for once!”

Eh loked so fuicking hawt undur the nergy efishent lights in the hall. Loking into his eys I had a memory in my head of whn we were kids. We where on the playgrownd in Mexico and she kicked a bounch of sand in my feace and then ran to her mom and said I did it. Judah (god) shes just so fuking jewvenile.

Briar raised an eyebrow in disbelief, “You guys lived in Mexico?” she asked. “That’s a big difference from living in Arizona, and you even lived with her as a kid?”

“But of course she was juvenile, you were freakin’ kids,” Cherry added before scoffing and looking away. “Can’t blame her for kickin’ sand in your face. I woulda done the same.”

"So what, she was always meen to me when I first came to fourks" I retoted.

"But she used to be my friends and Jakubs" Edowerd sed.

Asahi looked to the ceiling and growled. “Jacob and Edward only ever became friends when Jacob basically became his son-in-law, because of Meyers creepy pedophilia addition,” he grimaced as he recalled how she resolved that love triangle. Who the fuck thinks it’s okay to have a teenager fall in love with a newborn baby? “But yeah, sure, Jacob was a real good friend to her with what he helped Seth do to her”

 I admitt that he sotr fo had a point but then agin jabuc's friends did raep her that one time wich I liked because it gav her an atitood adjustmint.

“You just keep cementing the fact that you are a terrible person by trying to justify what happened to your cousin,” Briar scowled. “Reading it makes my blood boil.”

“You liked that they—that they just—” Cherry bit down on her hand to stop her scream. “You are the worst!”

"Ever since she got raped she changed" I pleated to edowerd.

Asahi took his empty cup and threw it at the screen. “I wonder why! Could it have been the trauma of the violent attack she suffered coupled with her own family mocking her for it and saying she deserved what happened to her? Could that have been why she ‘changed’?”

Now we here slowly waking down the hal to the presidents office so that I could run for the election. That was when SHE appeared! It was ROSE! And she was waking towards me at her ful potenshil.

Letting out a low sigh to release all the rage the last few bits of the story had created, Cherry leaned back with a tired smile. “The true queen has arrived.”

"Havent you dun enuff to her already?" Asked Rosey who had cum up to su in the hal to ask us about that.

“Yes, she has,” Asahi agreed, the girls nodding their heads along with him. “Thank you so much for noticing.”

Rosse was stading uprite and was easily a hed taler than me. She was paler then edowerd but had beyutiful blond hare wich flowed evanesentlee in the breez. Rosey iz always gettin in my bizness and begin a whiney bitch in geenral. I tel her that she can og fuock off sumtimes but she nevr listens unlik wedowrd.

“That’s because she’s not a pushover, she’s a woman who will not take shit from you and isn’t afraid of you and your manic tendencies,” Briar stated.

Edowird loked at me and then instately he understode wat I wantd. becuz the trtuh is hat i was slowlee failing fo him and I think he was faling for me too

Cherry rolled her eyes and blew a raspberry. “You’re still sayin’ you’re ‘slowly’ fallin’ in love with each other?” she asked. “Girl, ya been tryin’ to get in his pants since the first chapter.”

"Rossey why are doth here?" edowird inkwired for me

"Im hear to registr fro the posishin of president of the skool" she sed wiht hatrid in her voyse!

“She has my vote,” Asahi said, as if it were the most logical thing to do.

“And mine,” Briar added.

Cherry nodded, “I’d sooner vote for an actual mouse than for Becca.”

"WHA TDA FUOCK" I scraemed in foury. Edowird wuld have smaked rossey but he and me are too scared of her sinse shes an assassin.

“First off; good, be scared of her,” Asahi said, “Second; Edward wouldn’t have smacked her in the first place, she’s family. Third; when did she become an assassin—oh right. Newborn. Royce and his friends. The wedding dress. Yeah, I can see her being an assassin.”

"do I need to remind u that I hav a lisens to kill Rebecca" rossey asked. i shut up becuz theres no way edowrid culd take rossey in a fight. Shes just way to powurful.

“Rosalie, you could kill ‘em both right now, and no one would mind,” Cherry laughed. “I want them to fight so she can tear them both to pieces.”

 "im just kiddin gurl. But seriosly don't cross me bitoc" she warned before she waked ot of the presidont registashin rum. Judah (God) rosey is such a bitch. It's good though because shes a assassin and its her job to kill people and because shes a vampier she has a speshal deal with the FBI to let her murdr peple.

Briar stared up at the screen, “That’s not how any of that works,” she said before lowering her head in exhaustion. “But, whatever.”

But anyways then deowred and me went and registurd for the cvampain. But then jsut as we were waking out of the rum da two poleece offisirs akosted us.

"WE SIAD STOOP MOTHAFUOGGERS" they SCRAEMD and then da officer waved his pisstul at great shot towards me an edowerd.

“Please,” Asahi cried, “I’m begging you to shoot her!”

 Suddenly rosy came and she tuk out her two guns and shout the bullet in mid aer, and pointed the gunms at da ofisers. She hade taken her sunglases off wich ment dat she ment serious bizness noaw.

"bitch plz ill fuck u both up" she sed smoothlee.

“Look girl, I know you’d fuck us all up, but why are ya shootin’ the cops?” Cherry asked. “Shoot at Rebecca! Look, I’ll give ya all my paychecks for the next year if ya kill her!”

 Den she shot one of the ofisers in her brest and she scramed "OWWWW" she screamed loudlee. "get out of here you wil onlee get in da way" she sed angrilee to us. If she wusnt heplign us rite now I wuld smaeck her for bein such a biotch but dat wasnt the situashin rite no w so I culdnt.

“You strike her, and you will lose your hand,” Briar warned.

“I want her to do that,” Asahi muttered, “I want her to lose her hand.”

Meenwile Edowerd and mee ran az fast az i culd, huryeing. We onlee had dis one chans to frame bella for chadleys deth and THIS WAS IT!

“Damn it all!” Asahi yelled.

chaptwer 15 - edowerds chois

Cherry sighed, “Whatever the choice is, it’ll be the wrong one.”

Edowerd and me ran duwn the hals of the skool trying not to get hti by the bulets from roses two guns.

“So now Rosalie is shooting them?” Briar asked.

Cherry lurched forward, a grin split across her face, “Fuck yeah!”

"EVERYBDOY HIT THE FUCKIng DEK" Mr cleerwater screemed at the tiop of his vice. A bunch of the students weer runnin and jumin and trying to not gethuit by the bulets flyinhg evreywere.

“Understandable,” Cherry said with a nod, still looking fired up by Rosalie’s actions, “I’d be freakin’ out if someone shot up my school.”

“That’s something I never get about American schools,” Asahi said shaking his head. “You guys make it so easy for bad people to go over and shoot the place up. And then you expect turning off the lights and closing all the doors will deter a shooter.”

Cherry shrugged, “Blame Congress.”

 Mike nuton who had survivd earlyer becuz he had an emergencee braen transfushin got shot in his you no wat and was ded for real.

Asahi raised an eyebrow, “…Okay?” he said slowly. “I mean, I feel bad for him just on where he got shot. But… We were under the impression he was already dead. Bringing him back out of nowhere just to kill him again really does nothing. He’s basically a nameless mook.”

I felt bad for the ofisers becuz they weree going to di e today and there waz nothung they culd do to kil rose becaus she was a vampier who wurked for the govermint. I guess thats how the Collinss have alwas manajed to stasy hiden.

“Couldn’t be due to all the effort and hard work they put into never being discovered, could never be that,” Briar said with a roll of her eyes.

Suddenly the hole skool was bein invaded by police men. They were jumpin trhough the windoes of the skoll and were sprayin the pace with t here buillets. One of them jumped out in front of me and loked scray.

Asahi looked over to Cherry, “Is this kind of excessive violence normal in American schools?”

“Yes and no.”

"CUM WITH US OR WELL KIL YOU" a man scramed at me. I was gonna complie with what he waented but then he tuched me. I wuz going to be scraed but i dont taek that shitr from no one not evne edowird so I got out my anti-raep knife and stabed hi times with it in the nek [AN: SEE REBECKA IS SMART SHE WENTT FORn THE ONLYU SPOIT WERE THE HELKEMT WASNT IN THRE WAY] an dhis neck stated to sprasy bloud everywere.

“I hate to admit it, but going for the neck is a smart place to aim,” Asahi said, grimacing at having praised her. “But stabbing him wasn’t smart.”

“Congrats,” Cherry said, clapping. “You’ve killed two guys now. Good luck avoiding prosecution.”

"MI LADY DOTH THINKETH THATETH WE SHOULDETH GETETH TO BELLAETH" edowurd caresed. Suddenly a coip cum and shoit edowerd in the ches tiems in the cheast. I fel to the grund unce i saw this because edowerd is the luv of my life. I cruied ebanesent teers of sorrow and the teer drops feel onto his chest.

“Vampires? Immortals?” Briar began, waving her hand as she spoke. “Any of that ringing a bell?”

"Rebeca, doth shall not falleth in loveth witheth me" he sed sexily to me. Then i realsed i had nothing to worree about because edowurd was a vampier which means he cant die.

“Your idiocy is genuinely astounding,” the Huntsman sighed.

Then my evanednt teers becaem teers of joi wich brawt edowerd back fro m his slumber. I relized that he was my solmate in leif.

Cherry made a gagging sound. “I hate the soulmate trope,” she complained.

"GOD FUICKING DAMMIT EDOWERD DONT YOU DEI ON ME AGAIN" i screamd at him. How daer he maek me care abut him when he wasnt really dyeing!

 “How dare he make me think he’s dying when he got shot!” Asahi translated.

But there wasnt tiem to get angree becuz the soldurs were stil cuming and shooting all thruout the halls. Edowerd pucked me up with amasing hotness and sped and doodged all of teh bulits and caried me to safetee in the bathrum were i fought angela to a draw earlyr.

“That is a load of horseshit,” Briar countered, frowning at the claim. “You never fought her. You hid in the bathroom stalls and crawled on the floors until Edward came in.”

“Like a coward!” Cherry added.

And then we saw or objektiv: BELA. She was jsut gettin owt of the stal and writing in her emoshinal dairy wen edowerd and i tackled her. I was hapy becase bella is an anti enviyormentalst hu has had this cuming to her for a loung tiem.

“Justice. For. Bella,” Asahi growled out each word.

 She wuz probably doin drugz in the stal enyways [AN: KIDS DONT DO DROUGS THEY AER BAD FOR U].

Cherry scoffed. “I wanna do drugs just to spite her now.”

"WHAT THE FUICK ARE U GUYS DOIN" she scramed at the toip of her lungs. I smaeked that skanc in his feace and then edowerd tyed her up with sum rope.

Briar reached to grip her knife once again, “I do hope that our generous host allows us to visit the worlds of these fanfictions at some point,” she said, her voice surprisingly calm and level. “I wish to show Rebecca Swansin what karma is like.”

"Rebecca milady i doeth noteth thinketh thateth weeth shouldeth doth beeth doingeth thiseth" he woredlee exsclaimd. I tuk a step baeck and loked at the situashin. Bella was tyed up in rope in one of the stals and edowerd and me were abut to leav her.

"Edowerd if i dont do this then theyll find out it was me who kiled chadley" I pleded.

"fuck you!" bella scraemed at me.

“An absolutely justified reaction,” Asahi nodded.

"excuse me emo bitch who da fuck ased U!?" i was so close to taking out my antiraep nife and just stabing tha t mothafuocking bitch but then i remembred that kiling is onlee okay to saev peopul and that if i wuz gonna folow judah then i hav to sav thigns like the enviyorment

Cherry muffled her scream as she kicked the floor like an angry bull. “She pisses me off so much!”

Folding in on himself, Asahi pressed his forehead against his knees. “Briar, if you find a way to get into the world of Swansin, take me with you. I have a bat with her name on it.”

"FIRST YOU KIK ME OWT OF THE HOSE THEN YoU KIL CHADLEY WHAT THE FUICK DO YOU WAENT FROM ME" she wuz crying now.

“Exactly!” Cherry yelled, standing up. “You treated her like shit, an now your tryin’ to shoulder blame onto her for your crime? What the actual fuck?”

her teers wer driping down her feace and making al of her emo maekup cum off. I laffed becuz she wuz being so fcking whinny and was crying and so did edowerd.

Briar shook her head. “Bella, your cousin is a complete sociopath… or is it a psychopath?” she shook her head again. “Doesn’t matter. You cousin is very fucked up in the head, and you deserve so much better.”

Asahi groaned, “At this point, I am ready to get out the adoption papers.”

Anywaes wile she wuz cryin we toke one of my anti raep nifes (i always have spaers) and put it in bellas fuoking uglee flanell coat pokit. Wit this evidunce on her theres no way i culd be cot for my criem.

He slouched, thoughts of adoption forgotten, “Reading this is painful.”

"edowerd MAEK HER STOP OR ILL SAY YOU RAEPED ME" she finaly screemed in despuration.

"NO EDOWERD IF U STOP ME ILL SAY U RAEPED ME AND DEN STAB U WITH MY ANTI RAPE NIFE" i screemed ever loudlier. It tuk a moment for edowerd to undrstaen the situashin he wuz in.

“Yes, cause accusin’ someone of rape if they don’t do what ya want is such a mature thing to do,” Cherry rolled her eyes. “Anyone who does that to someone is a garbage person, an’ Edward needs to just walk away from both of them.”

"Bella I doeth not doth luveth thee hancefourth andeth becuzeth ofeth this i henceforth shall helpeth milady rebecca" he sumblee staetd.

BUT IT WAS TO LAET BECUZ THEN THE VAMPIER ANGELA APEARD AGIN IN THE BATHROMO!

“Angela to the rescue!” Asahi cheered, but that cheer soon died out as he remembered what story he was reading. “Please let be here to rescue Bella.”

AN: Pepol wer beign nice

“People were being nice?” Cherry asked, staring owlishly at the text. “To this fic?”

*Applauds loudly* My dear, this is BRILLIANT! Simply BRILLIANT! Such fresh, funny style! Such wonderful cohesion between references to other trollfics and your own unique elements! And the Bella-bashing-GENIUS! You have clearly done your research! Thank you so much for this fic, which has brought joy and laughter into the heart of many a weary snarker.

Sincerely,

Anya the Purple

“I don’t know whether to see Anya the Purple as a traitor or not,” Briar murmured. “She acknowledges the story for what it is; a trollfic; and chose to focus on the aspects of it that TwilightRova succeeded in, and is able to maintain remarkable equanimity through it.”

“She’s right, but I don’t have to like it,” Cherry added.

yeha i dunt no y but pepul cal me a trol wich is wrong cuz im a human and i dunt liv enderneth a bridge and aske peuple ridels but whatever its nice i gess

“You’ve got the intelligence of one, though,” Briar remarked.

but then i got sum haters so fuock u guys

LightningHunter 10/2/12 . chapter 1

Ya know even my 8 year old cousin can spell better than you.

“I’m pretty sure I can write better in English than her,” Asahi muttered with a huff, “And I only know English when I’m here.”

Let me say oneeee more thing ...

YOU SUCK !

NO YOU SUCK U JSUT CANT UNDERSTAND THE CIMPLIKATD WOURLD TAT REBECA LIVS IN AD HER FLITE FROM FOURKS U JUST DOTN GET TI

“What is there to ‘get’, though?” Briar questioned. “You’ve given us no reason to like or sympathize with Rebecca. She has been shown again and again to be an abusive, controlling, and manipulative fiend who resorts to excessive violence when she comes across something she does not like, and has never made a single effort to expiate for any of her actions.”

She continued, holding a hand out to the screen. “The only thing ‘complicated’ about the world is complicated because of your own inadequacies in worldbuilding and refusal to explain upon things, such as this unfathomable hatred Rebecca has for Bella, or why the vampires somehow no longer have their unique vampiric abilities,” Briar explained. “Ultimately, all you’ve done is create an unlikable character within an unlikable world, and get upset when someone does not praise you for your ‘genius’.”

“The spellin’ sure ain’t doin’ ya any favors, either,” Cherry added.

chapter 16 Angela vs Rebeca

OH NO it was the vampior ANGELA who had kiled all fo bellas fiends erlier.

“At this point, if Angela did everything because she was actually obsessively, possessively in love with Bella, I wouldn’t even question it,” Asahi said, crossing his arms over his chest once more and shrugging. “I’d actually forgive a third of the bullshit you’ve put us through if that’s the case.”

Cherry laughed and clasped her hands together. “Yandere Angela! I’d love to see it!”

She waked sexilee beack in forth wearing only a whait thoing and skarlit fishnet stolkings and a goldin bikeenee top and purpul six inhc hi heels. I no it sunds wierd but trust me she wuz pulin them of.

Her laughter died quickly, “You’re right,” she agreed, nodding her head, “It sounds really weird.”

"OHG FUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKK" bella scramed at the toop of her lungs. But it hd no efect becuz outsied the gunfite wuz stil going on and insied we were so no sound bullits becuz gun cant sownd

“No sound, because bullets can’t sound…?” Briar asked uncertainly, and wondering if perhaps the confusion was because she never even heard of a gun before this place.

Asahi rolled his eyes and scoffed, “Someone’s clearly never heard a gun go off.”

"I AM HEER TO FINIS HWHAT I STATED A LOUNG TIEM AGO" the vamprior angel screemed!

"O NO U DONT BIOTCH I NEDE HER TO NOT GO TO JALE" I screemed baeck.

“I’m hopin’ that what she’s referrin’ to s to finish the last bathroom scene with Becca and finally kill her,” Cherry said, slumping in her seat and leaning closer to Asahi. “I’m rooting for your yandere theory to come true.”

He shrugged and gently nudged her out of his personal space. “At this point, it’s the only nonsense I’ll accept from this story.”

 I tuk my sekond anti raep nife our fo my pockit and poyntid it at the biotch. Angela was instately assoured of my potenshil and tuk out a thre yard long samurai sorde.

“Knife versus sword,” Briar hummed, thinking it over, going different fights and personal experience through her mind, “The knife-user could win if they’re good. But Angela is a vampire, that gives her an advantage. Super-human reflexes and strength combined with being less fragile than a human… plus she has a sword, meaning she doesn’t need to get as close to Rebecca. Logically, there should be no way Angela can lose this fight.”

Asahi let out a sharp, bitter laugh. “When has this story ever followed logic?”

“Fair point.”

"no no no no no no no FUCK YOU YO MOTHWERFUOCKER" I sreemed agin but agin it dindt hav any afect on the situashin. "EDOWIRD HLEP ME" but it wuz no use he wasnt in the batroom with mee.

“Wait, when’d he leave?” Cherry asked. “I ain’t complainin’, but I would have liked to have known that he had left.”

 "JUDAG FUOCKING DAMMIT I HAET ALL OF U BIOTCHEZ!" The vampiore angela was goign to kil me!

“We can only hope,” Asahi sighed.

 "NO GETBELLA SHES TYED UP" Angla tuk anther step to me and sudenly a GUNSHOUT WERNT OFF!

"yo homie wats up" tanishashanqua sed. IT WAS ALICIA AND TANISHASHANKWA DEY WEER HEER TO RESCU ME!

“Why would you rescue her and not Bella, the clear victim here,” Briar demanded.

"Yo you on my turf fuckor best be gettin off it" alicia wanred. Alicai had here pistul frum the other day in her haend adn had usde it to atack agela!

"btch plz shes maine" angela sed and then luged at bella. I wuz so glad dat she wusnt after me al along!

“No, no, she didn’t say Bella died,” Asahi said quickly, a tint of desperation in his voice. “This could still be Angela rescuing her.”

hen alicia caem up to me and sed "we have to staek her in the hart to kil her" she sed and then gaev me a shotgun "but dont use it yet kep it for later". I noded my hed in awarnes.

Still sour over what happened to Bella, Asahi glared at the screen. “Specifically, you should shoot it when the barrel is pointed at yourself for the optimal effect.”

“Or you can stake her in the heart and not Angela,” Cherry offered helpfully.

"ill fcuking kill u you motharfucker!" and wit that alicia shot angela in the faec four tiemes but onlee got 2 hits becuz she was gonong so fsat but tashinaquasha bit angela in the hand and then angela pushed hr in the face! But then kasper apperd and klawed angelas face with his womins nales and den angela stopped

“I would be happy to never see Jasper in this story again,” Briar deadpanned. “Not because I don’t like him, but because it would take away your excuse to make transphobic remarks.”

"I WILL BE BAECK LATEr" she scremed and then gav me the Katana "YOU MUST KIL BELA WHEN THE TIEM COMES" she scremed and then disappeared.

Asahi screamed into his elbow. “Come on!” he yelled. “Angela, I trusted you!”

Exchanging looks, Briar and Cherry both reached over to give him a sympathetic pat on the back.

Edowerd cum and then we huged together in frunt of evereeoen. Dis maed me crai becuz we were taking our relashonship to a new levul. Except dat i felt his thingee when we toched and then i broke up and i smaked him for being a PERVURT!

Asahi looked up, eyes rimmed red from tears he refused to cry. “This hurts me, so much.”

“This hurts everyone,” Cherry said, still giving him comfort pats.

"yo moon why is bella tyed up" alicai and kaspor asked.

"becuz we need her to go to jale insted fo me" i sed hapilee

"u caent do that" caspor sed.

“Thank you, Jasper,” Briar smiled. “At least we can trust you.”

 Then i stabed him with my new ANTI RAEP CATANAA in leg becuz even tho he thinks hes a women hes jsut a confuzed maen and hes stil in the girls rum

That smile was quick to leave as Briar gripped the arm of her seat so tightly what remained from the previous knife damage simply broke off. “And we’re back to this”

“I don’t think TwilightRova knows if she wants Jasper to be a transman or a transwoman,” Cherry mused.

 "U FUOCKING RAPER SPOT TRYIGN TO SEX ME WITH UR EYS" I stabed. Kaspor went nuts tho and then tried to byet me but pedowerd stoiped him ad then he ran of.

Briar let out a sigh, “Can someone explain why Rebecca has yet to be arrested for her innumerable assaults?” she asked, “A man just looks at her, and she will stab him.”

“Because the author believes that her self-insert can do no wrong,” Asahi answered sullenly.

 Then alicia told me dat i culdnt fraem bella for chadleys deth becuz she had an abili so we were back to skware 1.

That sullen demeanor was gone quick, “Thank you, Alicia, thank you!” Asahi applauded. “You suck, but thank you for not letting them blame Bella.”

AN: okay so im getin som h8trs

Cherry rolled her eyes. “Shocker. At least it’s free entertainment.”

Flawless Obsession 10/8/12 . chapter 8

Out of all this story that I had the displeasure of reading, this is the only thing I understood.

Go on then and show how immature you are.

but u no wat im gona ruse abuv it liek jesus crist wuld want me 2.

“Jesus Christ would want you to put down the pen and never write again,” Briar argued. “He would just be nicer about it than us.”

u r a fuker and i caent chaneg dat but i can kepe doign wat im doign regadeless of the critcizm becuz to b a grate riter u hav to folo ur dreemsd and ur hart wich i am soing.

Asahi grimaced, “To be a great writer, you also need a solid comprehension on spelling, grammar, and basic storytelling,” he stated, glaring in disgust at the screen. “You have none of that. I don’t think you even know what proofreading is.”

“It’s no wonder the editor dipped,” Cherry snickered.

chapter 17 - edowerd betrays

“Good for him,” Cherry nodded as she went to take a drink of what remained of her soda. It’d been so long that it was all watered down from the melted ice.

"Wait moon before you go"

Briar shook her head. “Seventeen chapters in, and you still call her ‘Moon’,” she said in disappointment. “Asahi is right, you don’t know what proofreading is.”

 alicia approched me wit determinashin in her eies. She we wearing her usual drug dealor uniformn and had matching redd earings. She had died her hare paink with purpol hilites andit was weet from the intens battel we had hade earlier.

She raised a brow, “That fight was supposed to be intense?” Briar asked. “I’ve seen children play-fighting with far more intensity.”

“That whole fight was insipid,” Asahi complained.

"What is it alicai" i pated her heed becuz it luked liek she was having a rouff day. [AN: SEE REBEKA HAS EMPATHEE SHES NOT A SYKOPATH]

“That’s a lie,” they all said. They had yet to see a moment where Rebecca had genuinely thought of and put someone before herself.

"I need you to help me with sumthing" she sed with anger in her face.

"What is it" i questined expektently wile trying to find my voyce in my throet.

"Well i kno why all of the cops are invadin the scool and kiling people" she sed...

Asahi looked to the ceiling; he was beginning to memorize all the different spots up there with how often he’d choose to stare at the ceiling then at the story. The ceiling was far more interesting and less infuriating. After a few moments he looked back to the screen and scrunched up his face. “You know why, huh?” he asked, sarcasm dripping from the words. “Does it have anything to do with you having killed two cops, one of them being your uncle, and having a drug dealer you broke out of jail currently attending class still?”

“No, couldn’t be,” Cherry said with just as much sarcasm. “They’re all here because Bella obviously did somethin’.”

"Wait why" i asked inkwizatively.

"I was in the kemistry rum and was trying to make a new super droug for my biznes when i acidently mixed the drug with a buncha blud sampels i found in mr Chocoluvs ofiss" she sed. I saw a singul teer drop folowed by two more teer drops fal down her face and hut the florwich both caem from her eies.

Briar tilted her head, it was a rare moment she felt genuinely impressed. “The blood samples from before are coming back into play?” she asked with a hum. “That is a surprisingly amount of cleverness.”

“Don’t be too proud of her,” Asahi grumbled. “She’ll drop the ball somehow before the paragraph is over.”

"so what" i sed. We hade more pressing maeters to atttend to like the dedly virus spredin!

Cherry lurched forward; eyes wide. “I’m sorry,” she said, stumbling over the words, “The what is spreading?”

“If she brings in a freaking zombie apocalypse…” Asahi shook his head.

"It mutated into a virus becuz of the vamprie blud. the birus will kils anyone who breethes it in and then whoever breethed it wil die if they arent a vampier" Juda damit this fuocking shit is why alicia doesnt have any friends that arent me and edowerd and caspor and jemmet and rosalee and tanishashashankwa.

“There is nothing wrong with having six friends, you don’t need to have an abundance of friends to be satified with life,” Briar said, paused, and then held her hands out. “But more importantly; this virus is a fairly big deal.”

"wen did u do this" edowerd asked

"earlyr today" alicai asnwered. "i ran off to chek on the sampuls when i fiorst saw hte cops this mourning". Then she left the bathromo just liek she caem earlyr.

“Well, sad to see her go, she’s far more entertaining than Swansin. But I won’t miss her,” Asahi shrugged.

"uh oh" i sed. This culd be a probelm for the rest of the skool. "wil i be safe?" i asked questionately.

“We all hope that you won’t be, but we know you’ll be fine,” Briar said.

“It’d be nice if she just caught the virus an’ died, an’ the rest of the fic is just a memorial to her,” Cherry said with an almost dreamy smile at the thought. “But it won’t happen.”

"yes milady" edowerd replierd. "doth loveth and salieva frum hence my moutheth wil power thee to lifeth." Edowerd sed sexily. I wuznt luking right at him but i culd see his sexy reflekshin in the bathrum miror.

“I can’t even say nothin’ about this being wrong, cause Twilight vampires have reflections,” Cherry moaned.

 We wer al alone in the bathrum so i finaly pooped the qustion to my lover.

"hey edowerd wanna sex" i asked lovnglee.

Asahi groaned and gagged, “I both love and hate that we were right, the ‘no sex before marriage’ really didn’t hold up.”

"yes milday i doth think it wuld be plesureable" he sed.

"WELL TO BAD ITS A TARP! I DUNT BELIVE IN SEX BEFOR MARIAGE AND YOU FALLED THE TEST" I scremed and began to crie.

Cherry stared and blinked, rubbed her eyes, then stared some more. “Wow,” she said after a pregnant pause. “She is a terrible girlfriend.”

“That’s entrapment,” Asahi grumbled. “She asked him a question, he answered honestly. Saying that yes, you would like to have sex doesn’t equate to having sex. But also anyone that makes their partner do these ridiculous and random tests is a terrible person.”

 Edowrd had betrayd me and now i was al alone in the wurld.

Briar took in a deep breath, and if the seats were sentient they would have probably cowered in fear of being damaged even more. But instead she clapped her hands together and slowly stood up. “That is an exaggeration, there was no ‘betrayal’,” she said just as slowly, as if she were talking to a dunce. “As Asahi said, you asked a question, he answered, saying what you want to do is not the same as doing it”

She took in another breath and brought her hands—still together like a prayer—to her face as she exhaled. “Now! Let’s say Edward broke your trust by revealing some very private information about you to someone who would immediately use it to ruin the future you had spent ten years studying and working for? Imagine if that got you kicked out of the place you called home and now you have live in squalor for another couple of years before being taken in by what’s essentially a cult, they make mold you into something else, and now you’re to do a very dangerous and strenuous job with a high mortality rate for the rest of your life, all the while he goes on to live the life you had spent those ten years working for, without showing any regret for what he did. That is a betrayal. Saying ‘yes, I would like to sex’, is not.”

Both Asahi and Cherry stared at her in stunned silence as Briar returned to her seat. Not a word was said for over a minute before Cherry coughed and elbowed him.

He glared at her for a fraction of a second before looking to Briar, “Are you… speaking from experience?”

Briar stared back at him; her expression unreadable. “Hypothetical,” she stated.

“…Right.”

 I ran owt of the bathrom betrayd by edowerd and jsut ran down the hals. I ran rely fast and then began to smel the viris that alicaia had ben talking abut.

“If we’re lucky, you will all die,” Cherry grumbled.

I shreemly luked down the hals at all the ded boodies. All of the coips were ded on the grund. I herd a really disgustin noiz cuming from down the hal. I tuk out my shotgun htat alicia had given me earlyer and slowlee creepedd up on them. I GASPOED when i saw who it was!

Briar clicked her tongue, “That cliffhanger could have been better.”

“A lot of this story could have been better,” Asahi reminded.

chapter 18 - rebeca vs Hames

Cherry frowned, “Hames? Who’s Hames—” she stopped, eyes widening in realization. “Shit. James, an’ not even the cool James!”

It was the two vampiors from the cleering earlyrs the other day! Except for the gai who i kiled with the rock!

“At least you remembered you killed one of them,” Asahi muttered, then rolled his eyes. “With a rock. I am still upset about that. She killed a vampire by throwing a freaking rock at him!”

"I THOGUHT I TOLD U TO FUCK OFF" I voyced at them. Then they got up from the blud on teh grund.

"bitch plez im a teachor now" sed the guy in the leathur bicker jackit.

“Is he teaching history, since he’s lived longer than any of his human students, or is he teaching how to track?” Briar asked, holding her hands together and leaning forward in curiosity.

“I’d be fine with him teachin’ either, but ya know the author’s gonna butcher it.”

 He luked realy evil unlike edowerd and me.

“You are the evilest one here,” Asahi shouted.

His hare was even moar black then before and drapped down to his feete. Hiz faec was covered in fucking uglee peersings wich maed him luk like a transvestite.

Briar let out a low growl. “Ah, yes. Transphobia. Such a brave thing to explore.” Another chunk of her armrest broke off with a sharp snap.

To his side was his ladee, the biotch with the minijeen skurt so teeny dat you culd see her you-no-what exsept not anymore becuz she was wearin flor length jeens so loung that you culdnt see her shoes anymore. She hade a wors dres sens than bella wich i didnt thuink was posibul.

“An your style is any better?” Cherry asked. “Cause so far their fashion sense seems normal.”

"wich meens we can disciplin u now for kiling our leeder you runt" the biotch sed. She tuk owt a mikerofone from her purse and he tuk out a gitar from his back and they both ekwipped their wepins and began to use them atme!

Fashion forgotten; Cherry cocked her head to the side. “Wait, this a rock battle, now?”

Asahi shrugged, not quite understanding it either, “I guess instead of just being dangerous vampires, they’re also a rock band. It’s… weirdly not surprising.”

“Honestly? Same. I’d love to hear their music sometime. Rock’s the fuckin’ best!”

"DO YOU NO WHO I AM" I SCREEMED AT THEM.

“A manipulative, abusive, psychotic fiend,” Briar answered in a tone dryer than sand.

 I tuk out my Catana and my shotgun to show them that I was a stroing independant womin! But it didnt stop them so i screemed for hlep!

“What happened to you being such a ‘strong and independent woman’?” Asahi asked.

Cherry gave the screen a thumbs down, “At least try before ya start screamin’ for help!”

 "EDOWERD" I stated but then i remebered that i was done with taht trayter's bulshitt so i scredmed for sumone else "KASPOR! REMMET! ANYONEEE!" but it hade no afect so i ran down the hal paste mr cleerwater.

“You have both a gun and a sword, you could have stood your ground,” Briar muttered, “And after trashing him so much, you’re begging Jasper for help? Pathetic.”

“She’s a fake,” Asahi shrugged, “What else did you expect?”

"stop this is a violashin of skool rules you despicabul dunce" mr cleerwaetr he sed to me but it was to late becuz Hammes and Vitorio kiled him with theyre bad muzik [AN: ROUCK IS STUPID AND REBECA DOEZNT LISEN TO IT]

“Well, fuck you!” Cherry yelled back.

and by hiting him with their gitars and pursus. I new he was ded becuz then they beheded him and then ate the hed! Hten they kept cuming for ME!

“Eating the head seems rather excessive,” Briar mused, drawing a finger along her own neck. “But who am I to judge.”

"WE ARE GOIGN TO AVENJE FORAUNT" Vitorio methodiculy wispurd in my direkshin. We had run trhough the siense wing of the skool and were now in the halth wing. [AN: furks high is atachde to the hospitul]

Asahi spluttered for a moment, coughing hard as he tried to clear his lungs. “The hell?” he croaked. “I don’t think any school is attached to a hospital.”

“But it does explain how Bella got released back to class so quickly,” Cherry pointed out.

"ill sav u rebekka!" it was JACUB who had an AX!

“Why not turn into your wolf form?” Asahi asked, “That’d be more effective than an axe.”

“But then he wouldn’t look like the ‘sexy lumberjack’,” Cherry countered. “Not that he looks like one, anyway. He lacks the beard.”

 He was shitless and stading in the hal with an axe and his musculor bild and tan skin maed me horny rite then an there. He had hade a harecut and now he luke d like a cros between Brad Pity and Chanin Taytim and Zaeck F-Ron and Nail Patrik Harrus (eksept withut him beign gau) Exsept jakub is a native indien.

Cherry rolled her eyes. “We get it. He’s sexy. You’re attracted to a dude who fell for a newborn.”

"WYH ARE U DOIGN THIS" Jakub axd [AN: Hahaha GET TI!?].

The three all groaned over the bad pun.

"ITS BECUZ I LOVE REBECA" Hamees sed! Jakub and me and Citoria all GASPED!

“Excuse me?” Asahi asked, clearly offended and reeling back into his seat. “No, no, no. We are not doing a stupid love triangle. Keep that shit away.”

Sudenly everyting in the wurld stoped and the spotlite was on Hames who had jsut professored his undieign luv to me.

"Yes its true even tho i use u for sex Clitoria i dunt realy loev you" he sed.

Cherry was grinding her teeth. “For one; rude! Ya don’t use someone just for sex, that’s cruel,” she said. Holding up one finger and slowly bringing up a second. “Second; what the fuck? Clitoria? Clitoria? That’s just insultin’!”

But he saw stil runign toewerds me so i had to housely dodj the atack. Then he got on 1 foot and stated to plau his gitar at me. He stated singing Im a B by the Blaeck I Ps which I haet becuz onlee loisers listen 2 mainstreem muzic.

Groaning, Asahi buried his head between his knees. “I hate when they bring music into this.”

“I listen to terrible bards enough in my world, don’t bring them here,” Briar scowled.

 Wile he waz serenating me Jakub choped of his arm with hs ax and then Games ran away likea bithc. Jakub was sweeting and painting and he piked me up with his arms and tuk me away from the sene. It was so hot liek out of a bluckbuster movee.

“Lame,” Asahi booed, “So freaking lame.” 

"I am going to taek you to owr leeder Rebeca" he sed. I didnt liek his rurry fiends but i wuld deel with it becuz i wuznt in a situashin to argeu at the moment.

"who is ur leeder" i asked as he carryd me paste all of the karnage.

"luk for yourself" he sed and then I saw who it was. I gawsped! IT WAS...

“Sam Uley,” Cherry stated in deadpan. “The leader of the pack is Sam Uley. At least until Jacob splits an’ makes a different pack. But to do that we need Bella pregnant with Edward’s kid. So that ain’t happenin’.”

chapter 19 - The wearwolvs

"Look for yourself" he sed and then I saw who it was. I gawsped! IT WAS... LEYA CLEERWATER!

Briar frowned, “I’m not against her being the pack alpha… but why?” she asked.

Leya was stading dere with her platinom hare with yellow hilites swiging back and forth in the wiund. She hade a lether halter top on with a mathing corset and skurt. She had a batleax ekwiped in her belt and she luked like a pierit in her owtfit wich was awsum becuz piraets are cool.

Cherry groaned, grabbing her pigtails and pulling hard, “Damnit!” she yelled. “I hate when I gotta agree with her. Pirates are fuckin cool!”

To leas left was her bruther seth cleerwater

Briar’s entire demeanor turned ice cold and she laid her knife on her lap, running a finger up and down the edge. “Right, that one.”

The mood turned dark as all three focused in on Seth, recalling painfully clearly what he had done.

and to her right was her cuzin samiel gangee. They both luked like indiens with there shurts off.

“They look like Native American’s, because they are Native Americans,” Asahi snapped.

I rememred seth frum the day that he raeped bella. It was a sad storee actuoally for bella but mostlee for seth.

“Excuse-a-what-now?” Cherry spluttered just as Briar stabbed her knife into the empty seat adjacent to herself. “You’re tryin’ to tell me that the rapist is the one who should be gettin’ sympathy? Fuck you.”

 You see indian wearwolfs do this thing caled imprisoning were they imprison on some1 and then luv them forever. Its so romaentic.

Briar took in a shaky breath, digging the knife in deeper. “Imprisoning is not romantic, that’s kidnapping. It’s illegal and vile,” she growled. “The fact that you find it romantic at all is disgusting.”

“And it sure as hell doesn’t justify rape!” Asahi snarled, looking like he wanted to reach through the screen and strangle someone.

Enywayz I lerned frum Clemmet that seth imprisond on him and tha they were GAY for each oher [AN: REBECA DOEZNT H8 GAYZ CUZ GAIS ARE HOTTT THOGETHER ONLEE TRANSECUALS ARENT THEY DUNT NO WAT THEY R]! (rosey was okay with dis becuz she thinks guy on gui is hawt)

“Not only are you transphobic, but you fetishize homosexuality,” Briar said with an unsteady laugh as she pulled the knife out and struck the seat again, causing cotton to bleed out. “Oh, you do not understand how much I wish this seat was you.”

But Seth didnt waent to be gay so he tryed to repreve his innur demions. First he went to Carliel the collins father who is also a priest to get an exsorsism but it dindt wurk.

Cherry frowned, “Carlisle went from doctor to priest… well, his old man was a pastor, so I guess it ain’t completely out of the blue.”

So he rapped dat fucking whore bella in frustrishin to be normal. But he was such a biotch it didnt wurk and he cryed the entier tiem.

Asahi scowled. “Don’t even think that justifies what he’s done.”

But it didnt wurk and then he went all emo becuz if he was gay then he culdnt b a wearwolv anymore. Jemmet culdnt b with him becuz of the wearwolv thuing. Now thungs are bettr becuz seht jsut rejects that part of himsefl.

“You rejected the gay part of ya, or the werewolf part?” Cherry asked. “Cause can’t imagine either is good for ya.”

"JACOBO" Lea scremed angrilee waving her battleax baeck and forth

"WAT" he scremed back waving hsi own ax back and forth

“You are werewolves,” Briar said coldly, her whole demeanor had remained cold since Seth had been brought up, and had grown chillier by the sentence. “You are not angry woodsmen.”

"Why hav u brught her here to owr secret base" she askd pointing at ME! I was too shiocked to speek!

"she is on our side now" he sed. I luked dreemily into his face as he spoke. His wolfy sent was makin me so fuocking horny waaaay hornieer than edowerds ever did. I dont no why i even bothered with that stupifd hore of a man becuz he was always staking bella before i caem here enyways.

“I have a solution for all of this madness,” Asahi announced, starting to look a bit disheveled and frantic. “Rebecca can be with Jacob, that way Jacob can stop being an obsessive creep over Bella because of her ovaries! Then Bella and Edward can be together like they’re supposed to be, and no one has to interact with the other, everyone can be happy, and we can go home!”

Cherry reached over to pat him on the head. “It’s a nice idea. It just wont happen.”

 "She can help us defete the evil overlorde!"

"You meen..." I sed and then pauzd and covered my mouth with my hand and then my otha hand... he wuz talking about the onlee person wrose than bella in fourks... "U meen ESME!?" I scremed?

Cherry blinked, leaned back, and looked a little guilty. “Yeah, I actually forgot she existed. We’re however the hell far we are, and this is her first mention,” she said, but then held her hands out to the screen. “But in that time she’s been gone, she’s become an evil overlord? Gotta respect that!”

"YES! HER!" he sed puting me down gentlee on teh grund. "she is the master of the collins... and the onlee thing stoping us frum being normal!" he sed ultimatly into my faec.

“Wasn’t the whole reason the werewolf thing happened because of the Cullens moving into the area?” Briar asked, glaring at the screen still. “Not because of one particular member, it was just that they were there.”

We maed eye contect and i instately new that we had waaaay more kemistree than that fuocker edowird and me did.

“Then take my advice! Go date him and never go near Bella again!” Asahi shouted.

"but waite how are u immune to the virus" i askd assurdly to all 4 of them. Leya was the onlee 1 to steep forwerd to ansur my qwestion.

Cherry scowled, “Why are you immune?” she then rolled her eyes. “Of course, Mary Sue syndrome.”

"we have super strength" she sed vicariusly.

"oh ok" I sed assurd.

Cherry shook her head, tugging harder on her pigtails, “That doesn’t explain the immunity at all!”

"so rebecca will u hlep us to defeet the collins" seth sed sadlee. Then I remembered that kiling all of the collins wuld meen dat demmet the luv of saths lief wuld aslo dye. He wuz being braevr then any1 i no by folowing his clan insted of his hart. I new then dat I HADE to do this 4 seth and semmet.

Briar rolled her eyes, “Quick as always to commit murder, and now it’s your ‘soulmates’ family,” she scoffed. “Who is the true traitor here?”

"but wait how can I help" I askd.

"there are secret polise at this skool who want to stop us wearwolfs. Sum of the collins work for all fo them. Agenla used to be a part of there fors but then she defeeted. If we defeet esme then rosalees spuy netwurk will HAVE to shut down!

“Or Rosalie, being as capable and dangerous as she is, will kill every one of you with barely any effort,” Briar suggested before rolling her eyes, “but that is just poppycock.”

And U can get baeck to edowerd and truck him into letting u into there hose!" Lea scremmed!

But waite! i didnt waent ALL of the collins to dye! Onlee that fucking biotch esme!

“Look, listen, if you let one of them live then that is one person who will seek out revenge against you,” Asahi explained. “You have to kill them all, don’t leave any survivors.”

Briar shook her head, “I have to agree.”

“Nip it in the bud before the circle of revenge can start!” Cherry added.

"lets not kil all of them" I bargind.

"yes ur rite we will onle kil esme and rosaless if she gets in the way. Jacob go with her to compleet the misshin im trusting u" Leya sed.

AN: I got moar h8ers. h8ers goign 2 h8 is all ill say EKSEPT FOR U:

“You’re only openin’ yourself up to more an’ more hate,” Cherry warned, not that it mattered.

Radiant As You 10/15/12 . chapter 18

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS UGLY, DISGUSTING, STUPID PIECE OF SHIT?!

NO FOUCK U! UR THE DISGUSTIN STUPID PECE OF SHIT!

“No,” Asahi shook his head, “Radiant As You is right, you’re the disgusting, stupid piece of shit. You fetishize homosexuality, you’re openly transphobic, you endorse abuse, and you’re a rape apologist! What the actual fuck!”

chapter 20 the virus resistense

Jakuv and me wer runing bak down the hal thru the siense wung of the scool to find a way owt. All fo the dors wer lockd by polisemen who wer locking down the scool becuz of the virus.

“I’d usually say this is understandable and that we don’t want it to spread,” Briar began. “But, no, I want it to spread. Infect and kill everyone.”

“Mood.” Asahi sighed.

i wuz abut to braek thru to the outsied with my catana wen al of a suden jacubu stoped me.

"dont do that rebeca they al cleerlee hav guns" he sed. He hade groped me arm to stiop me and noraly i wuld stop him but he wuz so fucking sexxxxy in the briught sunlite that i didnt minde tha t he diddnt do wat i waented.

“See, that’s the root of your problem,” Cherry said waving her hand at the screen. “IF someone doesn’t do what ya want ‘em to, you decide to stab em. That’s messed up.”

"i can taek them" i told him.

"no we hav to try and sav as meny pepul as possibul" he told me. He wuznt liek ediwerd at all. He wuz waaay smarter and wuz aslo tryign to sav as meny pepul as possibul.

“So, he’s nothing like you,” Asahi deadpanned. “You’re selfish and only look out for yourself, and only care about what you want.”

I new den dat it wuld hurt to evar be neer deowerd agin becuz he wuz such a biotch cumpeard to jakub.

“And look at who made him that way,” Briar spat.

We raen down teh hals sum moer. Jakub was sweeting sexily and riped the leggs of hsi paints offf. So basikalee he wuz runing with shorts on and he luked liek a boodybilder. Meenwile my purpul raben hare wit royul goldin streeks wuz sexilee floewign in the wend as i ran.

“She really loves bringing up how her hair blows in the wind, doesn’t she,” Asahi said rolling his eyes.

“We should get a counter for it,” Briar suggested.

 i tuk of my shirt as i ran becuz it wuz coverd in goer and al i had on wuz my reed sportz brah. My boebs wer jigling baeck and forth as i raen but not dat much so wtf u thinkign reedor.

Cherry groaned, tugging on her hair once again. “You wrote about her shirt being taken off an’ her boobs jigglin’ about, don’t complain about the readers readin’ that!”

Then as we came to alicia and tanishashanqua who wer stading outsied the scool labratoree in the halways.

"yo my homie wassup" tashinaquansha asked. we stoped to se wat alicai and tanisha wer dogin.

Asahi sighed, “Despite it being misery to say her name, Tanishashanqua is the only one I genuinely like in this story,” he confessed. “Probably because we see so little of her.”

"why are you all stil in the building" jakub askd inquistionalee. I steped behinde him to get a luk at his sexy endien wearwolg ass.

"we r trying to stop the virus by creeting an antydoote" alicai asnwered. She had a darkk red lab cioat on wich mathced her blud red dyed hare.

“Lab coats make people more attractive, that’s just a fact,” Cherry shrugged, it was a fact of life as true as the sky being blue and the grass being green, so what could she do about it.

"yea were goign to fend a solushin to this problem maerk my wurds" tanishashanqua also sed as she steped owt of the lab and itno the hal with alicai jakub and me.

Asahi hummed, “You’re trying to fix a problem you started? Color me impressed.”

She didnt haev a lab coate on but she did haev nerdi glases to hlep her see her experimints. Her hare luked normel for onse wich was nise becuz normaelee it dusnt.

"tanishashanqua! How r you saef?" i aksed!

"i can anser dat mothafuocker" i herd a voyce and it wuznt anyone who i had seen resentlee... it was MR. CHOKOLOVE! (mr coholove is tanishashanquas fathor).

“Oh, no,” Briar said in the driest tone imaginable. “What a twist.”

 "ive given tasniahshanqua immunitee" he sed. "i am wurkign wit the fbi to distrbiute a cuer to the redst of the scool" he expeled.

Asahi crossed his arms, “So, you just so happened to have already created an antidote to give to your daughter that will protect her from a virus Alicia made just this morning?” he asked slowly, raising a brow. “Pretty suspicious, if you ask me.”

"thats why the coips stoped invadin" alicai cuntinued. "so loung as an antidute is posibul theyl wate for us to finis befoer dey try to kil us al."

"how can we hlep" kacub ased. I thught jacub was a retard for not doin the mishin but then i realizd dat he wantd to find a way out without hurtign othars.

Cherry gave a low whistle, “Harsh words comin’ from someone with an IQ lower than a squirrel,” she said.

“Come on,” Asahi frowned. “Don’t be mean to squirrels, they’re way smarter.

"we nede u to goa nd taek this anteedote and get it to the principul!" alicia sed.

"okay i wil do it" jacub sed!

"NO NOT YOU" alicai intruded! "REBECA IS THE ONLEE ONE WHO CAN DO THIS" she sed!

“If this doesn’t turn out to be an elaborate trap to get Rebecca killed, I will be quite upset,” Briar warned, crossing her arms over her chest as she glowered at the screen.

Cherry and Asahi exchanged a glance, silently saying ‘she’s been upset the whole time’, and they quickly glanced to the seats Briar had been slowly destroying. If that hadn’t been ‘quite upset’, neither were sure they wanted to see a truly upset Briar.

Then she gaev me the vyle conteining the cuer to the virus! "wen u get it to the prinsipul rebeca u wil haev to injekt the vyle into the air sistem of the scool!"

“The principal?” Cherry asked. “Why is it him? Why not have it in a room?”

Asahi shrugged, “You’re asking about logic, and this story is allergic to that.”

"oh ok sure bye the way do you no were edowerd is" i inturestinglee qweshtined to the 3.

"wat dost thou want tavern wench?" edowerd sed to me costily as he came.

Briar raised a single eyebrow, “Now, now. No need for such harsh words,” she said dryly. “The tavern girls are far more respectable than Rebecca. Don’t slander the job.”

I wantd to maek edowerd feel bad so i began to cry faek teers. He thught that the teers wer becuz of my undyeing regriet but it wuz actuly becuz i realy hated to se that stoopid fuickers faece. I mean juda fucking dammit i shuld hav just choped of his you-no-wat when i wuz baeck in da boys lockor rum.

Asahi dragged a hand down his face in pure exasperation. “Why and how does anyone find her attractive?” he demanded, “She is the most unpleasant person I’ve ever had to read about!”

“Edward can do so much better,” Cherry added.

"You wild motha fucker edowerd appearin! Yo cauzin hela drama n shit nigga" chocoluv angrilee sed waving his vyles around!

"Edowerd" i stated as i wuz faek crying "I wanted ot say that im soree for screeming at you earlyer but ur jsut so meen!" i lyed unanimusly.

“You accused him of being unfaithful and vile because he admitted, after your manipulations, that he would like to one day have sex with you, his partner,” Briar gritted out before leaning back and taking in a low, ragged breath. “You are by no means mentally sound.”

 I kept crying and den everyune in the rum got supa pised at edowud. Jacob luked liek he wuz abut to chop of edowerds hed with his ax. Edowerd luked relly sad and den he sied and fround.

“An’ everyone is takin’ her side?” Cherry demanded and then dropped her head into her hands. “I shouldn’t even be surprised, but fuck it pisses me off! Edward did nothin’ wrong!”

Asahi nodded, glaring at the screen. “He wanted sex, but he didn’t force himself on her, he didn’t pressure her into it. Like Briar said, he only said he’d like to one day sleep with her, that’s not mean,” he said, and his scowl deepened. “You doing this sort of garbage undermines the severity of actual assault and partners being ‘mean’.”

"watever i forgive you" i sed. Then he luked hapy and edowerd jacub and me al went to the prinsipuls offise so that we culd finaly get out of the fuckign scool.

“Not like the school wants you, anyway,” Asahi muttered.

Chapter 21 – vs prinsipul

“I suppose we know who’s dying this chapter,” Briar said, not too concerned. Unlike Charlie, none of them felt any emotional connection to the principal. It would be infuriating when Rebecca killed him, of course.

The run to the prinsipals ofise was very diffcult. We had to run over seven bodys every tiem we turned down the hals. Edowerd wuz glarring at jakub the entier tiem probably becuz jacub haz super fucking hot abes and edowerd was jellus liek the major fuocking biotch that he is.

Cherry groaned, “I don’t want them to get back together. After the way she’s been treatin’ him, Rebecca shouldn’t get to go back to him,” she waved her hands as she spoke, “He just deserves so much better!”

“She’s bound to get back with him,” Briar said, breaking the news, “Just accept that we’re doomed to be angered.”

 But that doesnt mater becuz we wer at the prinsipuls rum and then we prepard to saev the scool. Edowird unshowd his nails and jakub got his ax ready and i tuk out my shotgun and catana.

Even though it was just a story, all text, there was still something of a mental image that sprang to mind with each chapter. Usually, it did nothing but piss them off, but this one was one of the few images that was less rage-inducing and more…curious. They’d never go as far as to say interesting, that was giving it too much credit.

“I have to respect her for this, being able to wield a shotgun and a two-handed sword isn’t easy,” Asahi said, begrudgingly.

“Don’t give her too much credit,” Cherry said, rolling her eyes, “She’s probs just wavin’ em both around like an idiot. Doubt she’s even able to actually use either.”

We entered the dur and then we saw the rum. The prinsipul wuz behind his desk starting evilly at things. He was baled and luked older then my dade. He hade a big red butin on hsi desk wich i culd tel was maed out of maypull trees. Wen he saw us he got up and loked rally scrary!

"WHAT THE FUOCK DO YOU FUOCKERS WANT!?" he scremed luodlee!

“Of course, you’d assume it’s gonna be loud when you’re screamin’,” Cherry said with another roll of her eyes. “Or are you the type who screams an’ think it’s as loud as a whisper?”

"we are heer to put an end to this madnes" i scremed. I poynted my shoutgun at the biotch and then shooted the gun at him! He fel ovar blooding everwer on the flur.

“We all knew it was happening, but still; why did you kill the principal?” Briar demanded, eyes flashing with anger. “You had no reason to. He was just sitting there.”

Asahi scoffed, kicking at the floor. “And here I thought her murdering Charlie was the peak of pointless violence we’d get from her, but this just takes the cake,” he said, rolling his eyes. “The guy got killed for getting up and demanding what two students who barged into his office wanted.”

Waving her hands at them, Cherry leaned forward, “You guys don’t get it,” she said quickly. “He was evil! He was lookin’ evily at things, while lookin’ all scary, an he had a button made of trees! Worst of all? He was bald! An’ older than her dad! Ultimate evil right there.”

"is he doth dedeth?" inkwiyured edowerd

"NO OF COURS NOT!" Prinsipul scremed amasignlee! He got up frum the grund and then got back in his chare!

“Huh, guy tanked a blast from a shotgun,” Asahi whistled. “Impressive.”

"but how are you not ded!?" ased jacobo!

"I AM A VAMPIOR SLAYOR YOU PATETIC DUNSES"

That whistle turned into a low hiss. “Being a vampire slayer doesn’t make you immune to shotguns,” Asahi muttered.

“It doesn’t?” Cherry asked. “Man, those slayer guys must have been lying when they told me I’d be bullet proof if I joined. Knew it had to be too good to be true.”

and then the prinsipul tuk out a steak and a jar of holee water! Then he juped the desk and begin to try and staek edowrd in the faec. He wuz realy fast! If i wuznt expeerynced in combat frum al of the violinse today i wuldnt hav ben abul to folow him but i did anyways!

“Of course, after a single day of senseless murder, you are automatically a skilled fighter,” Briar said in as bland of a tone as was humanly possible. “You can completely disregard the months, if not years, of training you need if you have a single violent day.”

“Violence?” Cherry asked, “No, no, it’s not from a day full of violence, she’s clearly saying she’s prepared cause of all the violins from today.”

Briar nodded, “I see, yes that makes far more sense.”

I atakcd him four tiems with my sord but he demoted the atac every tiem! He made a big circul with his body and centerd the atack on edowerd! But lukilee Jakub used his ax with grate atack at the prinsipul and hit the prinsipul off edowird.

Asahi sighed, rubbing his temples. “I’m trying to follow this, but all I can imagine is all of them moving about like utter idiots,” he said, paused, and sighed. “Which is probably more than a little accurate.”

"YOU MISERABULL IDIETS!" the prinsipul shouteded!

“Truer words have not been spoken,” Cherry cackled, and even Asahi smirked a little.

Then he throo the holee water at edowird but he dodjed fastlee the atac! Insted jakub got hit and then he was coverd in bunrs and scabs!

"OHHHHHH FUUUUUUUUUUCLK" scremed jakub as the holee watur burnd his purfict beyutiful hot sexay skin.

“Oh, no, not his perfect skin,” Cherry’s laughter died in favor of pure sarcasm.

"SHIT SHTI SHIT SHIT" he kept scremeng as he bunred! I was so fuocking infurriatd. How daer he hrut JACUB!?

"’Only I’m allowed to hurt my boy toys!’” Asahi said, raising the pitch of his voice as he mimicked Rebecca.

“That’s accurate,” Briar nodded.

I tuk out my catana and struke Prinsipul in dedlee combat! I swun my sord at him 1 2 tiems but he jupmed sevural feete in the aer and clung to the seeling! Then edowrd juped for HIM! But it was a false becuz Prinsipul was so strong!

Frowning, Cherry scratched her head in confusion, “So… the principal is just a spider now, or something? That how he’s clingin’ to the ceilin’ like that?” she asked, then gave a mock gasp, “Oh! Is he Spider-Man?”

“Better not be,” Asahi crossed his arms over his chest in a pout, “Spider-Man is too cool to be here.”

"YOU INFERIER NITWITS"

“Again, an accurate description of the group,” Briar nodded approvingly.

“They are inferior, and they are nitwits,” Asahi agreed.

 Prinsipal was strong he toke edowerds arm mid flite and then threw edowedr thru his desk braking it! Then prinsipal dropped on toop of edowerd!

"THOU ISTETH DOTH A FUCKERETH" scramed edowerd as prinsipul snaped his neck!

Unlike the outrage that came with Charlie’s death, this one was received with overall indifference y the group. Again, unlike Charlie, the nameless principal didn’t really have the same emotional ties.

“He’s in a better place,” Asahi said with a lazy, uncaring shrug.”

Cherry nodded her head. “Yeah. Honestly I can’t really bring myself to actually care about him,” she confessed. “I mean, we never even got a name, an he’s just sort of… there. So… sucks he’s dead, but meh.”

 Even tho i haet that fuocking rapist basturd

Briar took in a deep breath, folding her hands together and hiding her mouth behind it, “You… can’t just call people a rapist when there was never a rape,” she said through gritted teeth. “There’s been no mention of him assaulting or even harassing you or anyone. You can’t just call everyone you don’t like a rapist.”

 I stil felt bad becuz nobuddy dezervs that kind of treetmint.

“Unless you’re Swan,” Asahi grumped.

 Then he threw edowerd thru the wal and into another rum! "DOTH WENCH!"

"GOD FUOCING DAMMIT EDOWERD STOP DYEING ON ME!" I scremed! He got out a steak and began to stalc edowerd as he was recumpensing frum the strugul but NO! becuz then i throo the catana rite thru Prinsipal's stomick wit al my mite!

“Sure ya did,” Cherry said with a roll of her yes, “An everyone clapped after, didn’t they?”

"AH! AH! AH! AHHHHH!" Prinsipul scramed as he fel back. As he was faling i ran up to him and stabed him agin and agin 78 tiems.

Asahi winced, “Gee, talk about excessive,” he said. “Stabbing someone that many times takes deliberation.”

 I wuz so extreem becuz he had alsmot kiled edowrd and jakub. Then i throo the prinsipul across the rum and put my catan away. I ran ovar to that dying fucker.

"Why did you do this" I aksed him. "We jsut wanted to help the students."

“’Because you fucking shot me out of the blue, you crazy bitch,’ is what he should say,” Briar said with a scowl. “Anyone would fight back if someone just came up and hurt them.”

“An’ wantin’ to help the other students? Talk about a bold-faced lie!” Cherry added.

"The biotch esmay wuz goign to kil me anywayz for faeling! I thught that i culd kil edowrd who ive alwayz nown was a vampoire!"

"then you deserve this you fucker" i sed as i shout my shotgun into him. Then i did it agin and agin and a furth tiem (this last one in the hed) jsut to maek sure he wuldnt cum back and try to raep or stabe me.

“Swansin, listen,” Asahi folded his hands together and leaned forward. “I understand this can come across as a difficult notion to process, but no one wants to screw you, consensual or not. In fact, no one wants to even touch you, or be in the same room as you. You’re that unpleasant to be around.”

Blud wuz everywer. I had kiled the prinsipal. I didnt waent to do that but i haed to. He wuz so violenta he culd hav kiled sumone.

Cherry brought a hand to her mouth and bit down on it to muffle her scream. “Hrrrrm!” was what came out, both of rage and maybe a little bit of pain as her body trembled. After a few moments she pulled her hand away, it red with clear indentation of her teeth. “How can someone be such a proud, blatant hypocrite?”

“Pot,” Asahi snarked. “It’s kettle. You’re black.”

Anywzys I put the vial into the aer condishiner and then the antivirus stated spreding thrughout teh scool.

To that, Briar gave a slow clap, “Hooray,” she said in a tone as dry as plain toast. “Everyone would have been better off dead than to continue a miserable existence here, but I suppose we can’t win them all.”

Chapter 22 – Escaep

The vyle wuz in the aer cundishener and then the condishiner was spreding thru the vents.

 I culd smel the antydote efecting everyune in the scool.

“You can just smell that the antidote is working?” Briar asked, unimpressed. “That’s not how these things work.”

I think that savign evereeone heer wuz an akt of redempshin for kiling the prinsipal. I rally felt bed abut that becuz

Cherry raised an eyebrow, “Because…?”

“It’s redemption for her killing the principal, she didn’t want to be redeemed,” Asahi answered, though not quite satisfied, “Though I hate how she feels like she needs to be redeemed for killing him, but now for abusing Swan and killing her dad.”

"jakub are youu okay!?" i scremed wile runingn ovar to his scabee bodee.

"What the fuock do u think" he sed. He was sexily coverd in brewzes.

“Burns and bruises are two very different things,” Briar pointed out. “But really, someone that wounded is clearly not going to be okay.”

“How the hell is someone ‘sexily’ covered in bruises?” Cherry demanded. “Is she just attracted to people being hurt? She that much of a sadist—oh shit I think she is.”

"let me help you with my beyutiful signign voyse" i sed as i begin to sung beyutifuly at him. I sung born dis way by ladee gaga.

“It sounds exactly like nails on a chalk board,” Asahi described with a grimace. “Your ears will begin to bleed as glass around them shatters. A bird outside the window dies just from the sound alone. It even causes Jacob’s burns to worsen.”

“A song worse than a banshee’s cry,” Briar added with a nod. “The sound alone beckons listeners to the doorstep of death.”

Sudenlee jakub got up frum the grund his scabes faling off. Then sudenlee his hare began to turn bloo. His eies met mien an then i instatelee new wat i wuz in for.

“I’m sorry,” Cherry interrupted, “Did his hair just turn blue? Out of nowhere it turned fuckin’ blue?”

“And it will likely never be explained,” Asahi said.

"Rebeca i new i did the rite thing when i decidd to sav you" he sed dreemilee. Then he fel on toop of me and we began to kis litelee.

Briar was a woman who had faced many monsters and horrors. She had seen nightmarish scenes too grotesque to put to words. Human dismemberment, limbs impaled on tree branches, entrails wrapped around like tinsel on a festival tree as blood dripped down, soaking and dying the earth below red, that was family friendly compared to many of the encounters her life as a Huntsman had given her. She had faced it all unfazed, as any Huntsman would, with the iconic stoicism that terrified others.

Yet this had left her looking and feeling queasy.

“I swear, if they have sex…” she began, taking a breath and shaking her head. “Not only will it be disgusting, as is expected of anything revolving around her, but it will also be infuriating. She treats Edward like he is less because his desires, but would sleep with Jacob without issue…”

“A fuckin’ hypocrite!” Cherry shouted.

It wuz so perfect. Then edowerd got up and luked at us and then powted and the left becuz hes nothing but a jellis biotch.

“Yes, he’s a jealous bitch, because his ex-girlfriend is being horny for the baby-liking dog, when she demonized him for less,” his head was going to hurt if he kept rolling his eyes, but Asahi did so anyways.

"yo homie wats up" tanishanqua sed as she and alicia and mr chocoluv enterd the rum. But i wuz stil kiding jakub so then they stoped. "yo that bitch crayyyy" tasniahshanqua sed as she and alicea and Mr chovoluv left the rum. Then rosalee caem into the rum.

Asahi shook his head, “I certainly want rum after reading this.”

“Same,” Cherry added.

That got Asahi to reach over and smack her, not too hard, on the back of the head. “Don’t even think of it, Bolton,” he warned.

"normalee id fuock u up biotch but u did okay today so il let u off the hook." She sed, puting her guns away. She had onlee 1 bullit hole on her chest meening that she kiled a LOT of coips today. Poor copis.

“Not poor cops,” Cherry snapped back. “Those cops dared to stand up against our queen, Rosalie. One even shot her. They deserved whatever fate she gave them.”

 Enyways for unce i wuz so happee that i didnt even get angree i jsut smiled and basked in hapiniss.

"jakub" i asked

"yes" he sed, holdign me

"does tihs mean that weer together now?" i asked

"mmhmm" he sed kising my forehed as the sun set.

“Yesterday she was all over Edward. Today she’s all over Jacob,” Briar slowly said, listing the two boys off on her fingers, frowning as she spoke. “Will she be all over someone new come tomorrow?”

“Probably,” the other two said. The pattern was already there, it was just a question of who the third, unneeded and unwanted, love interest was going to be.

Chapter 23 – The house

So after we left scool all fiev of us (not mr chocoluv he cant leave the scool sincs hes a teachor) went to my hose to get rid of the evidense.

Cherry frowned, “Since when do teachers live at the school?” she asked, holding her hands out in a ‘what the fuck’ gesture. “Ya know he’s allowed to have a life outside of education, right?”

“No, they’re not,” was Asahi’s sarcastic response. “Once you get your teaching certificate, you’re not allowed to step foot off campus, ever. If you do, you forfeit your life.”

 Tasniahshanqua was on my rite Jakub was also on my rite Alicia and Edowerd were on my left. We got to my huose.

“Because it’s so important where they are positioned around you, really effects the efficiency of the group,” Asahi continued, still just as sarcastic.

“Got to make sure the bitch is in the smack-dab center,” Cherry agreed.

"are you sure you want to do this" i edowerd asked me.

"yes i am sure" i sed lukign over into jakubs eies. I new that i had to atoen for my sins just liek judah wuld want me to do.

“Is she actually going to atone?” Briar asked, paused, and shook her head. “No, of course not. She is so narcissistic that she cannot even comprehend that she has done anything wrong, ever, in her life. What sins she’s thinking of are likely ‘I forgot to recycle’ and not ‘I murdered Charlie and abuse Bella.’”

“Has to be exhausting to be that self-centered,” Asahi hummed.

This was the first step in doing it. I tuk a pieces of wud from the house and then lit it on fier. Then i throo the fitre into the house and it all began to burn down.

Taking a deep breath, Asahi looked up to the ceiling for advice, and after receiving none, looked back to the screen. “You can’t just burn down your house. That’s not going to solve any of your problems, it’ll just make more as the police and firemen flock to your house to investigate. You’ll just make things worse for yourself.”

“Bitch thinks she’d an Elric,” Cherry grumped, looking sour.

"Yo Moon where are you gonna live now?" Tanishashanqua asked politelee. I nodded my hed to her.

"she can cum live with us" alicia sed. I was happe becuz this wuld give me a chance to completd my misshin!

“And she hasn’t forgotten her mission,” Briar said, sounding impressed. “That’s actually surprising.”

“I sure as fuck forgot the mission,” Cherry declared.

I luked ovar to jakub who looked depressd becuz he didnt want me near that fuocking sick motherfocker edowerd but i new what i had to do.

Asahi curled his fingers, like he was trying to grab or strangle something, but instead only caught air. “Cullen did nothing wrong. You asked him a question, and he gave you an honest answer,” he growled out, and it was honestly getting exhausting—not just for him but for all of them—to keep emphasizing this. But what could they do, Rebecca had such a warped view of reality.

“All ya did was trick him into thinkin’ he could be honest with ya,” Cherry scowled.

Briar nodded her head. “It was manipulative of you. You tricked him into thinking it’d be okay to say and then punished him simply for saying it.”

"yeah sure that wrks" i told her faking a smile. I wuldnt mind living with alicia even when she drug deeled but living wiht edowerd was going to be realy awkwurd.

“Sure, your boyfriend for a day is so awkward to be around, can’t imagine why,” Asahi scoffed.

Then i saw sumone wakjing toewrds us fiev. Her name was Claritee Etude Simphonia [AN: SHE IS BASD OF MY FIEND CHELSEE!] but we jsut caled her Krystal becuz looking into her eies it was like looking into cristals.

As if it weren’t irritating enough. “Just what we needed,” Asahi rolled his eyes. “More of your OCs. Let’s hope they’re better people than Swansin.”

Krystel is one of my best frends she was kidnaped when she was born by the Vulture

“I see. So now instead of just eating corpses like a normal scavenger bird, vultures are resorting to kidnapping people,” Briar nodded her head as she said that. “Good to know, makes perfect sense.”

Cherry grinned, “They gotta get the meat fresh somehow.”

who then rased her to be evil and they kiled her mother and father and her uncles and ants comitd suiside becuz they wer so depresed like major fuokcing retards. Then she escaepd but she becam a vampire becuz of it so now she lives in forks.

“Forks is just the hub for every plot-convenient thing and person to swarm to, isn’t it?” Asahi asked.

“Honestly? Sounds par for the course for most media,” Cherry replied.

 Sumtiems she stil remembers it but its okay. She wants venge on the Vulturi becuz they are ashoes.

“Understandably so,” Briar nodded. “The Volturi truly are assholes.”

"hi rebecca how is everting today" she asked but then she saw my hose burnign down so then she screemed "WHAT THE FOUCK WHO DID THIS". She got out a gun wich maed alicia get out her gun and maed edowerd get out his nales and make jakub get out his ax. (Tanishashanqua also got a gun out becuz alicia had given her one earlyr to defend hersefl).

“Now, shoot each other,” Asahi demanded, “If this works out, only Tanishashanqua will survive, and she’s actually tolerable. Not likable, but tolerable.”

"its okay dont woree we have a plan" i told her stayig calm. She was assurd of my intelijence and then she smiled.

Cherry snorted, “Intelligence?” she repeated. “What intelligence?”

"rebecca who is that major fucking hotty!?" she asked me giggling. I giggled to. I whispered into her ear.

"weer totalee going out isnt it awsome!?"

"you go girl!" she sed and then high fived me and then left.

“If we’re lucky, we’ll never see her again,” Briar said.

 But her leeving maed me really sad and I didn't no why. Then i luked to my house wich was burning down and i began to fell bad. Why culdnt I be a normal gurl like Krystal?

Cherry was laughing at this. “You call her normal?” she asked, bent over and between chuckles. “Ya even read the backstory ya gave her? She’s far from normal!”

Why do I haev to be chased by fucking rappers everywhere i go and and why did i allways haev to live this kind of life!?

“Look, rap’s not that bad, and this is coming from someone who hates that genre,” Asahi defended.

I DIDNT DESERVE ANY OF THIS SHIT WHAT THE FOUCK!?

“It’s called karma,” Briar explained. “You’ve done a lot of things, and have accumulated a lot of bad karma as a result.”

"Rebecca is sumthing rong" sexily asked jakub as he caressed over to me, regarding me shroedlee. He huged me in front of everyone but it had no effect.

“Careful,” Asahi warned. “She might stab you in the dick if you touch her, and then she’ll blame you and call you a rapist just for hugging her.”

"Everything so fo unfare!" i scremed to him angrilee. "Why cant i just be plane like the rest of the wurld and pepul heer!? Im too gud at things and i kepe having pepul fal in luv with me! ITS A FUOCKING CURS JAKUB HELP ME BRAKE IT!"

Cherry cringed, “Wow,” she breathed. “I’m getting’ major My Immortal vibes from that one.”

I wus crying now becuz to be honest i was foucking sick of this lie f.

“You can always kill yourself,” Asahi offered.

Cherry looked at him with a grimace. “Suicide baitin’ is kinda harsh, even for this.”

But he only shrugged. “Just listing the options.”

"dere dere its okay" alicai sed pating my back as the hose funishd burning down. She always new what to say to cheer me up wich was gud. "lets go back to my palce and get sum taco bell okay" she sed.

"I FUOCKING HATE TACO BEL ITS NOT ENVIYORMENTALY SAEF" I sed crying

Breathing in deeply, Cherry didn’t even look at him. “I take it back, Asahi. It wasn’t harsh, your suggestion is too lenient for her.”

"okay den" she sed and we went off to get sum vegan orgaenik fud and then go to Edowerds house. [AN: EET ORGAENIC ITS WAY BETTER FOR THE ENVIYOURMINT THEN FAST FUD!]

“Meat is organic,” Cherry said slowly. “Cheese is organic. A cheeseburger is just as organic as a salad.”

Asahi frowned, “After this I’m going straight to a burger joint and am going to order and eat the biggest, meatiest burger on the menu. Just to spite her.”

AN:

im not even replying to the flaems anymoar becuz honestlee you guys are fuockers who are stating hurt my feelings just LEEV ME ALOEN IF YOU DONT LIEK IT JUST FUOCK YOU FUOCKERS I CAENT STAND YOU ASDAJSLDKFSD

“You brought this on yourself, just like always, by ignoring every piece of advice and criticism given,” Briar said unsympathetic to her plight. “You were told you need to use spellcheck, you ignored it and instead let your typing get worse. You’ve been told the storytelling and pacing Is all over the place, and you retaliate with hate. Now you whine and cry while blaming others? Pathetic.”

Taking this chance as another chapter came to a close, Asahi shot to his feet—almost tripping over Cherry’s skateboard in the process—and began to make a beeline away from the others.

“Where ya goin’?” Cherry asked, watching him go.

He didn’t stop walking or pause to look at her, “To get some air,” he answered simply. “I need to get away from the story for a bit, again, otherwise I’ll go crazy trying to process the absurdity of Swansin and her associates.”

Sighing, Briar slowly rose to her feet as well. “I, for one, am with him on that,” she said, stretching a little to relieve the stiffness of sitting down for so long. “Both Rebecca and TwilightRova are perfect examples of insanity, and I fear if we observe for too long, that madness will infect us like a disease.”

With that, she was walking away too, leaving Cherry alone in the seat.

Though, once she had finished off the last of her snacks, she quickly gathered up her things and scampered away from the screen as well, intent on restocking the treats and drinks, and taking a breather as well.

#Twilight #Fanfiction #MST3k Style Riffing #MST

[xsadcorebenji]

the resounding summary thought i have before my mind melts and my thoughts swirl and scatter as my eyes close for slepe os

“the sun; the warmth; the sky was beautiful and

i hope you felt this moment of joy i want to share with you always”

good night, sleep well

i love you always

whoever you are

i hope you at least smirked today

#personal

[pixiecaps]

i keep being like i should sleep… closes eyes mmmm just one more tumblr dash scroll.. ok slepe now closes eyes ..mmm actually one more- over and over

[kissryuwuji]

Okay who tf is flickering the loghts and messing with the internet while im tryna watch the haunting of hill house 👁😱👁

#IM NOT KIDDDDDING #even the tv was flickering #do u know which part it was flickering at #the part where the oldest brother called the oldest sister telling her that the youngest sister was dEAD #it was foreshadowing #my siblings and i are freaking out while my cousin is like cackling at us #anyway i dont think ill be slepeing tonight #that shitnducking woke me up #my cousin was like theres stuff in the bkgd u gotta notice and stuff #and my eyes just went ⬅️↗️↖️↘️➡️↙️⬇️⬆️↗️↖️↘️⬅️⬇️↙️↗️↖️↖️➡️ #now imma be closing the bathroom door and being like 😱 omg ig i didnt flush! #and do a double take everytime im turninf a corner or checking smth lmao #i love horror but horror doesnt have to do this to me irl #jay clowns around

[atsuwiee]

After reading this and I am now broken... Thanks...

But I'm a sucker for angst so I hope you don't mind me requesting!

Ehem! Still dying s/o with disease but with Leona, Sebek, and Vil. S/O was diagnosed with a disease years ago and they've been battling it with what seems like forever. Sadly, it seems that the monster they've been fighting is winning.

One quiet night out, S/O asked the boys if they could sleep on their shoulder because they feel tired, Twst boy agrees and lets them. Minutes later, S/O has already died on their shoulder with "I love you, thank you for being with me," as their last words. The boys knew this because they felt their body move for the last time then no more. They're trying not to cry and processing the fact that the love of their life is leaning on their shoulder... Dead and gone

twst boys with a dying s/o

pairings: leona x gn! reader, vil x gn! reader, sebek x gn! reader genre: angst

warnings: major character death, mentions of death, mentions of illness, angst, grammatical errors, not proofread xian’s note: ah yes sexy angst request *lip bites* anyways i hope you like this!

LEONA KINGSCHOLAR

you wanted go out and walk for a bit with leona, he agreed though he held your waist while walking since you’ve grown weaker than usual. leona sees a nearby bench and decided that you should take a seat first. “you tired?” he asks as he sat besided you. you nod in response with a small smile. leona could feel your head rested on his shoulder as the cold breeze touched the both of your skins. “i want to rest” you said. “yeah sure, you can go rest on my shoulder” he says with a small smile. minutes passed, and the night was quiet, both of you didn’t say a word to each other. “leona,” you say. “thank you… for being with me” you say while leona just smiles. “i love you” you says as your breath went short. “i love you too, y/n” he says but you didn’t respond anymore. leona looks at you, you’re eyes closed and your body not moving. “y/n?” he called. “oh my- y/n?” he called again but nodded. leona’s heart ached as he held your cold body onto him.

VIL SCHOENHEIT

vil sat beside you on your bed, as the night went quiet and the moon shined through the window. “ready for bed?” he asks as you lay your head on his shoulder. “let’s stay like this for a while” you say as he nods. vil took your hands and intertwined it into his. “i’m tired” ou say with a weak voice. “i know, y/n, do you want to rest?” he asks and he felt you nod against his shoulder. “vil?” you called. “hm?” he hummed out. “thank you for being with me and for everything you did for me” you say as small tears fall from your eyes. you felt weaker and weaker ad your breath shortened. “i love you,” you say as you took one last breath. “oh y/n, i love you too” vil says as he doesn’t get a response back. “y/n..?” he says as he looks at you. your eyes were closed, as if you were sleping peacefully. vil kisses your head as he sobbed quitely. “goodnight, y/n”

SEBEK ZIGVOLT

you were trying to write letters but your weak hand wouldn’t cooperate so you had sebek write the letters on your behalf. you layed your head on his shoulder as he wrote the letters you wanted. “is that all?” sebek asks as he seals the last letter and you nod in answer. “are you tired?” sebek asks as you nod again, not uttering a word since you felt so ill and weak. “i’ve been fighting this battle for too long, don‘t you think?” you asked and sebek nodded. “may i rest for a bit?” you ask. “of course you can,” sebek says. “thank you… thank you for being with me, sebek” you say as you felt more heavy than usual. “i love you,” you say to him. “i love you so much” you say as you finally closed your eyes. “y/n i-“ he was cut off by the sudden cut of your breathing. “y/n?” he called out but to no response. “y/n i- i love you too” sebek says as his tears slowly fell from his eyes.

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland imagines #twisted wonderland headcanons #twisted wonderland scenarios #twisted wonderland x reader #twst #twst imagines #twst headcanons #twst scenarios #twst x reader #leona kingscholar #vil schoenheit #sebek zigvolt

[officialscaramouche]

Hey hey! Could I request the reader overworks themselves and is all tired and stiff but refused to slepe adn keeps pushing so scara steps in and forces them to sleep and relax, like gives them a good massage then helps them sleep?

Anon I loved this prompt!! It was the first thing I did when I woke up, before I even brushed my teeth

pairing: Scaramouche x gn!reader

tw: u may just die of fluff

wc: 1,447

Scaramouche dropped the folder into the box before heading out. He hated working late but what was he to do if the Tsaritsa wanted it before he left. Most of the time she gave a deadline but sometimes she’d want it sooner and that’s fine. He wasn’t incompetent; he could do his work on time. Regardless, he was finished and he couldn’t wait to see you. He passes by your office whenever he leaves simply because he knew you left before him and he always wanted to make sure you didn’t leave anything behind. He hated coming back because you left something, so now he always checked. But something was different this time.

As it was late, nearly everyone had gone home. There were maybe two or three people other than himself that were unfortunately working late, but why was your office lit? He knocked, just to be sure, and pushed the door open. You lay on your desk asleep, drool pooling on your paperwork. He clicked his tongue and shook his head, walking over to your desk to straighten it up. You woke to his stirring, the sound of pens being dropped into your ceramic mug, and stretched up with a groan. “Shit,” you curse, looking at your damp papers. “I didn’t want to fall asleep.”

Scaramouche walked around to you and scooted your chair out, grabbing your hand delicately and guiding you up to your feet. “It can wait for tomorrow,” he said with his usual scowl. “Let’s go home and rest.”

The pressure on your shoulders to pump out more work didn’t go unnoticed by him. He watched you carefully as you sleepily slid into your shared home office and dropped the heavy folder of paperwork on the desk. He rested his chin on your shoulder, wrapping his arms around your waist. “Why don’t you just do that later? It’s my turn to make dinner, so sit down and eat.”

You flipped open the first packet of information and immediately the words began to scramble and jump, making your head sting. “My case manager wants it all done by the end of the week,” you grumbled, massaging your temple. “I haven’t even finished the first set of material he gave me, and he gave me some more today.”

Scaramouche rolled his eyes as he pulled back, crossing his arms. “I hate that mother fucker,” he spat. “I oughta say a thing or two to him.”

“Please don’t,” you sigh. “The last thing I want is for him to take out his frustration on me more than he already has.”

“Fine,” Scaramouche said, turning to leave the room. “But you stop when I’m done cooking. And you don’t touch it again for the night.”

You give him a thumbs up before the door closes behind you.

Scaramouche was intentional with the dinner he made. When he cooked he liked to make healthy foods; it was all that he made when it was just him. But this time he wanted to make something that would put you to sleep on a full tummy. He didn’t need to go get you, as the smell pulled you out on your own. “That smells good,” you sauntered in, peering over his shoulder to look at the pot. “Give me a lot. I didn’t eat lunch today.”

Scaramouche chuckled as he spooned the curry onto your plate. “Of course, baby.”

You took your plate and sat down at the table, your utensils and napkins already there. He came around after a moment with his own plate, setting it on the table before disappearing back into the kitchen for drinks. You ate spoonful after spoonful of Scaramouche’s delicious cooking, your body warm with love and the unmistakable feeling of drowsiness washing over you.

You lean back into your chair when Scaramouche takes your plate to toss in the sink. “That was so good baby, thank you.”

He smiled, undoing his apron to hang on the wall. “You’re welcome, baby.”

“I can wash the dishes in a bit, I’m just so tired.”

Your boyfriend walked up and placed a chaste kiss on your lips. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll do it later. Just go lay down, I’ll join you in the bedroom in a bit.”

You wobble over to your room, being so unbelievably tired. This was the most exhausted you’ve ever been. You were always home first, where you could cook for him or clean the house or go grocery shopping for dinner. But this week you hadn’t been able to get any work done, so you started leaving later, while still getting home with enough time to prepare for Scaramouche. But that wasn’t enough either.

You hated working at home because you know how irritated both you and him get when there’s work to be done at home, and the last thing you wanted was to not get anything done. You stayed the latest you could tonight and you would’ve stayed longer if your boyfriend hadn’t woken you up.

Stripping of your clothes and throwing yourself into bed, the softness of the mattress was already enough to put you to sleep. Scaramouche walked in not too long after, crawling into bed next to you. He leaned over you, kissing the backs of your shoulders, hands reaching up to squeeze the muscle there. “Mmn,” you groan at his touch. “You don’t have to, sweetie.”

He continues with his kisses and squeezes. “I want to, though,” he says against your skin. “My baby’s been working so hard lately. You deserve it.”

He gets all the way up, straddling your bottom as he works his hands into your back. His touch is firm, but not too rough, and he’s kneading out the knots in your neck. His touch kind of tickles, his coarse hands scratching at your soft back.

Then he goes down your spine, gently working out the cracks in each vertebrae as he goes down, smoothing out the muscles that hold you up all day. As badly as you wanted to enjoy the massage, you can’t fight the sleep that takes over under his touch.

For the first time ever, you’re the one who wakes up after him. You jolt awake, realizing you’ve slept longer than normal, and you hurry to the bathroom to get ready. You had another long day ahead of you, and you were already up to a late start. Scaramouche’s side of the bed was already cold and made, and you were a little upset that he didn’t bother to wake you up knowing you had so much to do.

You shimmy into whatever clean clothes you had and throw the bedroom door open and run to the kitchen for a quick breakfast. But breakfast had already been made, and Scaramouche was putting up the last of the dishes. “I was just about to wake you,” he said calmly. “Sit and eat while it’s still hot.”

You brush past him and kiss him on the cheek. “Thanks baby, but I’m just gonna take some fruit and go. I need to get started on my work.”

Scaramouche dries his hands with a rag and flips it over his shoulder, jutting his thumb over to the table. “Don’t worry about it, I did it last night.”

You peek from behind the fridge. “You what?!”

“Yeah, while you were sleeping last night. It’s fine, just sit down and eat please.”

Your eyes sting as the tears approached, and you cried tears of happiness. You were so stressed about getting all of this done, and yet your amazing boyfriend managed to do it all in one night. “T-Thank you S-Scara!!! How did you d-do all of it?!”

He let out a laugh and pulled you close to him, cradling you with an arm around your waist and a hand on your chin. “I’ve been doing paperwork all of my life, sweet thing.” He kissed you and thumbed at the tears on your cheeks. “Now please, eat with me.”

You stuffed your face with rice and grinned. “I hope he doesn’t give me anything more to do,” you spoke through your food. “But if he does, I’ll do it all by myself.”

Scaramouche sipped his tea and looked at you from over the rim. “I sure hope he doesn’t either,” he chuckled, knowing very well that a passive-aggressive note with his stamp right in the middle of the page had just so happened to slip inside your folder. And if “Don’t dump your bullshit reports on your colleagues just because your dick is too small and face too ugly for Signora to notice you,” doesn’t work, then termination would do just fine.

#writing #scaramouche #scaramouche x reader #Drabble #oneshot

[redxblueihateloveyou]

I need more RinHaru in my life seeing as the 2021 movie will hopefully be happening this year. Can you tell me what your favourite moments from the drama CDs and magazine interviews etc... are? ((I'm curious because there might be something I missed))

yeah, the whole movie of them being on the same team... still feels like a miracle. also if Rin brings the handmade talisman Haru gave him to the competitions, can we officially call them married then? everyone, keep their eyes on an owl in Rin’s bag during the olympics.

omggg idk there’re too many, toooooo many... EVERYTHING?

- the whole sleepover, esp Haru reading Rin’s “my shining” essay about him and Haru smiling while looking at sleping Rin and sofly saying “sweet dreams”;

- Haru asking Rin to go see sakura with him before he leaves for Australia after s2, cause he wanted to be alone with him for a bit (that was just T_T);

- their bet about their height and who’s gonna carry who bridal-style, Haru asking Rin several times, why he wanted to hold him in his arms so badly, Rin refusing to answer him, and Haru asking if he can undress for this and just be in his swim trunks (I’m... I don’t even know what to say about the whole thing and Rei’s “Nagisa-kun, I don’t think we should look at that”, when he saw them);

- Haru teasing Rin about loving romantic movies and calling him “onii-chan” (I swear sometimes Haru is possessed by the devil, when he’s with him lmao);

- Rin winning a keychain, but giving it to Haru, knowing that he wanted it;

- the whole car date, of course; but especially the moment when Rin tries to put Haru’s seat down so he’d sleep comfortably, and then Rin falling asleep so fast without his pillow, cause Haru is close and Haru watching him sleep; 

- Haru laughing, when he got Rin’s silly text about his recipes on his birthday (fuck, that was seriously too cute);

- Rin getting jealous when he heard Haru calling Gou “cute” during the interview, then getting super sad, then getting super desperate, then being able to breathe again, when Haru said “I just repeated what Nagisa says”. (”Y...you... you really think that?” omfg Rin... seriously, he’s so easy to make fun of xD, Haru, you ass);

- Rin offering to do a water related contest during the contests suggestion, just to make Haru happy; Haru asking for a Loosey-kun quiz and Makoto asking “who is that?” and Rin without skipping a bit just going “the fish from his weird under the sea game. well, fuck, you know...” (well, fuck, apparently, you know, Haru’s favorite, Haru’s lucky charm, cause he gave this shirt to you, so you’d sleep well);

- Haru asking Rin to make him rainbows in the pool, like when they were little, “just for you” (rip my heart);

- Haru working at Mcdonalds and Rin flirting with him and ordering his smiles instead of food in front of the whole Samezuka team, and threatening to complain to the manager if he won’t give him one;

- Haru giving Rin his favorite Loosey-kun shirt, when he got soaked in the rain;

- Rei asking to record some short video-messages for everyone in Iwatobi and Rin doing all great, until Rei says “and for Haruka-senpai?” and Rin short-circuits after “for..for Haru..”;

- Rin telling Rei that he loves the book he’s reading and then saying that the main character reminds him so much of Haru (oh god);

- Haru being happy and shining, when Rin called him “the only mackerel-man in existence” and Makoto going “why are you glowing like that? was it a compliment for you, cause it’s coming from Rin?”;

- pancake contest and Rin suggesting that he’s gonna dress up as maid for Haru and he can carry him in his arms if he loses (yeah, don’t ask me, idk what to say);

- Kisumi setting them up ona beach date and Rin’s “Kisumi is confusing. Once I thought we were gonna all hang out together, but when I went to the Iwatobi beach only Haru was there.” (my god they’re dense);

- Rin eating the mackerel pizza he hated, just because Haru cooked it;

- Haru’s “but even when he’s far away, I will be able see Rin, when I swim, right?” during his interview with Makoto (tears are real, my god how I’m glad the Australia is finally over);

- Rin's speech about how “going on a trip with your lover is completely different from going on a trip with your family or friends.” (I’m just...);

- their New Year’s fortune drawing (lmao Makoto was so embarrased just standing next to them haha I die);

- Rin buying the mascot strap that Nagisa asked, but then remembering that Haru liked it and buying the one for him too, then saying that he’s gonna buy random things for Haru now, cause he liked it a lot, when Hary said “thanks” (weird kink, but ok lol);

... I don’t know, the list can go on for forever, everything is my favorite, I don’t even think I can remember all the cuteness in one go. if I ever did, I feel like it’s gonna be an endless post, in my mind it all just merged in one giant bowl of love.

#answered #anonymous #rinharu #Free! #harurin #rin matsuoka #nanase haruka #they have tooooooooooooooooooooooo many moments #like TOO MANY #it's all just a rinharu ocean now #it's pointless cause you'll always miss something #sharkbait

[darkness-poetry-and-bnha]

It was the sky making Tomura cry.

It was the morning after the last battle, the one that was meant to finish his pain. In some way, he knew it was true. He couldn't feel anymore the hatred that lived in his lungs for so long, strangling his voice until it sounded nothing like the clear speech of the living, but rather like nails dragging dirt and trying to scape their tombs.

He could not mutter a word. Even if he hadn't had his vocal chords damaged in the fight (he would recover from it, according to the doctors), he couldn't have speak at all. The morning was opening from the mountains and the buildings like an arm raising over a chest. Pale fingers of light were grasping the sky above, so very gold and bright. Tomura was trying to remember when Toga's hair had been like that, but she was most of the time with her hair a little dirty from the places they sleped in. There were her eyes tho, always so awake, just like that morning. He had been next to the window before the sun started to rise. He had seen Dabi's eyes there two, mixed with cloud straws of pink a purple that reminded Tomura of Spinner's hair. The night belonged to Kurogiri, with the stars shining through the obscure mist. The night had lights like marbles, blinking reflexes of silver like the ones that Giran's eyeglasses had cast on the bar every time he had visited.

Alone in his hospital room, there was not much to do but remembering. He couldn't properly move either. Every corner saved a special hell for his heart. Having his memory back was a curse, Tomura has learnt so far. In every kid he saw Hana, in every mother he saw his mom. Loud noises made him jumpy, violent. He couldn't touch his videogames after watching Spinner's body on the battle, so much he didn't recognize it was his friend.

The world had tear them (his friends) apart, limb by limb. The heroes had taken their revenge, AFO had made Tomura pay for betraying his trust.

And for Tomura? The world had been saved. Everyone had a place to go. Tomura couldn't even visit the cemetery. Spinner's parents had reclaimed his ashes, and so had done Toga and Dabi's families. There was nothing left of Twice or Compress or Giran. Not even Kurogiri. They had killed him to put to rest the memory of Shirakumo.

He was so heavily sedated... He sometimes started at that window for hours, wondering why it should felt different that his time with AFO. Deku and All Might were at first with him. Then the days passed, life went back to normal, they went back to their shiny society.

And Tomura stayed. He stayed on the battlefield, watching once more how his actions ended with his family dead. There was a limit to his hatred. Because hate means caring, and caring means loving. No, Tomura could now feel just a big great void, a hollow between his ribs, in the insides of his eyes. The morning bleed into the city, reaching with his light every loving creature. Tomura stayed behind the curtains, in the fresh shadows of realization.

There was no hope. There was no safety. There was a hole with a bottom that no one was able to reach, and he was laying there facing the sky high above. Too far gone.

Not even the greatest hero had been able to save him. Tenko was back to the streets of his childhood, hand against hand against his chest, eyes focused on strangers. There were no words. He felt the others looking, looking away, moving away. He had been haunting those streets since he was five years old. Maybe he had died that day? Maybe they were gently leaving a room to a ghost until he understood he didn't belong with the living?

He remembered crying. It was nothing physical, but rather a feeling of dryness in his eyes, the need to scratch them. His throat was firmly closed, his chest tight like he was still living with another being inside of him.

He saw the afternoon pass, the arrival of the moonlight and the night, as he felt himself drifting away.

#d.p.b character death #d.p.b tragic endings #d.p.b angst #d.p.b aus #d.p.b mourning #t.s : the dog who god had killed #l.o.v : united by death now never to apart #Shigaraki Tomura #League of villains #Mha #Bnha #My hero academia #Boku No Hero Academia

[erinaceina]

ScotsSwap 2020

Bombycine

Recipient: Jo (@notasapleasure​). I hope I’ve done Jerott justice. It’s been absolute torture not talking to you about writing this <3

Prompt: Philippa and anyone as a BroTP, ‘Take the words 'sharp' 'alone' 'close[near]' 'missed' and give me some Pain :’)’ - it’s mainly alone and pain really, although Jerott has had some close encounters with sharp objects in the recent past. I hope it’s still delicious angst, even if it has wandered a bit off topic.

Setting: St. Mary’s, early autumn 1560.

Characters: Jerott Blyth, Philippa Crawford, Francis Crawford.

Relationships: Philippa + Jerott, Francis + Jerott, Philippa/Francis.

Rating: I’m not sure? References to things that happen to Khaireddin, but nothing explicit.

Summary: Sleep is not kind to Jerott Blyth.

Word Count: 2986.

Note: This is broadly compliant with this and this, mainly so I could squeeze Astraea the cat in there.

Spoilers: Non-specific spoilers for stuff that happens in Checkmate.

*******************************************************

The pain rose up to meet Jerott Blyth, mingled with the waters of the Middle Sea, and he drowned in the scent of spikenard and jasmine, in roiling fumes and obscene kisses and all the stench and horror of battle. Even as he fell, half-blind from the blow to his temple that had swept him overboard and the haze of gunpowder that hung, cloying, over the churning blue-green waters of the Mediterranean, he heard behind him the low, animal noises of the foundering ship.

The pain at shoulder and temple and thigh howled in awful harmony with the tortured screaming of overstressed timber and the crack of snapping lines. Flashes of light filled his failing vision, amber and gold and cornsilk-fair, yet, through them all, he could see glimpses of palm and pomegranate beneath a blistering African sun; the smell of storax and benzoin clung to the aching tissues of his throat and curdled in the saltwater filling his burning nostrils.

Although Mehedia lay more than a hundred and fifty miles distant, set on its strangling neck of land in the shining sea, passing vistas reached him through the sheet of blue water and yellow fire. He thought he could see flashes of gnarled grey-green olive groves and fields touched with the blush of new barley and smell the sun-warmed earth and the fetor of bombyx mori. Even as the roiling waters of the Middle Sea saturated his padded gambeson, drawing him down and down into the currents that eddied and swirled around him, down into the vortex of the foundering ship, he thought he could feel the splintering wood of a burning hut beneath the tips of his blistered fingers. Even as his useless arm hung wavering and limp as storm-wracked kelp and a ribbon of blood like scarlet silk wound through the water around him, he touched the soft, pliant curve of a child’s back and the damp weight of of amber hair tacky with cooling blood.

İpec böceǧi, called the dry, whispery voice of the old woman, and Jerott Blyth flinched. For this wast thou born? What lack is there in Scotland that her sons grow so feeble?

The saltwater again burned in Jerott Blyth’s nostrils and, with the sudden clarity of the sleeper and the man nearing death, he knew that the sea battle and the olive groves alike were the mere conjurings of a mind caught in a drugged stupor. Slitting open stinging eyes against the fetid, poisonous fumes of burning silk cocoons, tasting bitter almonds like charnel flesh on the back of his tongue, he saw with little surprise that he lay beside the discarded body of a fair-haired child on the rough floor of the warehouse belonging to the silk-farmer’s sister in Mehedia. The marks left by the mutes were livid on a face touched also by the griefs of a short life twisted and warped against itself. 

The great impulse to live that dwelt within Jerott Blyth’s sturdy flesh took fresh flame, and, even against the will that cringed against it, he drew a dragging, acrid breath and smelt the cloying, indecent reek of the perfume that clung to the boy-child’s cooling flesh.

The cornflower-blue eyes were open and far-seeing beneath their heavy, slack lids as they had not been beneath the merciful bindings of Amiens or in the wreckage of a shattered face on a Northumbrian hillside. The soft, kitten’s mouth, still bearing the last, revolting brush of paint, formed words without breath, as parched as the desert air. İpec böceǧi, for this wast thou born? Is there no failure thou hast not encompassed?

*******************************************************

The gasping breath that woke Jerott Blyth was his own, rasping like poison in his chest, and his outflung arm howled with pain. For a moment, he thought he could feel the raw burns of Mehedia licking its length and he was back in Djerba - the Djerba of some seven years past - with Onophrion Zitwitz’s jellies melting on his tongue and the golden warmth of the North African sun spilling through the latticed windows of his convalescent room. For a moment, he burned again with fever on the boat fleeing the carnage of Djerba with Giovanni Andrea Doria fretting and fuming at the prow and Danny’s hand clasping his own and the utter failure of the Knights of St. John sour in a mouth that cracked and bled. With a blink against the enveloping darkness that admitted neither sunlight nor the deadly fire of an overturned brazier, he recognised the shadow of the bed curtains and the dim glow from the last embers of the fire dying in the hearth. A dint on the pillow by his head suggested the recent warmth of a cat, but he was utterly alone, neither prisoner nor knight.

With a hollow, awful noise, half sob, half laugh, Jerott buried his head in his shaking hands, feeling the trembling weakness in the injured arm and the aching memory of the old burns. It seemed to him that, like the silk moth which has no organs by which it can nourish itself, he lacked in that moment any means to sustain himself, and could merely exist in the labouring of his lungs and the eddying horror of the dream. Khaireddin, who he had failed to save; Marthe, whose death he had caused, however unwitting; Francis, who might have died by that same act of mercy; the boy Diccon, weeping before a father who turned an implacable face to him, the warm light of the afternoon gilding both their pale heads.

Although he had regretted his hasty words as soon as they were spoken - Damn it, Francis, he’s not one of your men to browbeat. Can you not show him half the pity you gave the other? -  he felt the previous day’s anger kindle again at the memory of the cool displeasure in Francis’s eyes and the flat, uncompromising line of his mouth, even as his infant son tugged at his silken hose and begged to be held.

Mo cridh is a good little boy now, said the voice of that other child with the pitiless clarity of memory.

With no more conscious thought than the doomed silk moth, Jerott swung his legs over the edge of the bed, groping with chilled toes for the slippers that had been set out for him. Although the day had been warm for Scotland on the cusp of autumn, a decided chill hung in the night air and he shrugged into the borrowed robe, feeling it pull across the shoulders where it was cut for a slighter man.

In the near total darkness, he let his feet and memory guide him through the corridors of St. Mary’s, grateful at least that although the house no longer maintained its martial aspect, Francis’s taste did not yet run to endless trinkets and furbelows to trip the unwary. At the head of the stairs, something sleek and pale regarded him curiously from a ribbon of pale moonlight where a shutter stood ajar, but, before he could do more than peer blearily back, it disappeared into the recesses of a court cupboard made monstrous by the shadows.

Once, on a night such as this, Jerott Blyth might have sought the wine cellar and all its bottled comforts; once, Lymond might have locked it against just such an eventuality. Tonight, however, Jerott wandered through the silent house with no goal in his mind save to put as much space as the night permitted between himself and the fading echoes of his dream. His slippered feet padded softly across the expensive carpets and he recalled with a shudder the carpet painted with red and white in the in the selamlìk like a terrible exchequer counting out life and death - say goodnight to the dark.

Despite his meandering path, Jerott was not overly surprised when he lifted his eyes and found himself in the passageway leading to the great, vaulted kitchen. There would be fresh water there to wash the taste of bitter almonds and smoke from his mouth, thanks to some mechanical contrivance of Lancelot Plummer’s, and the cool of the Scots night under cloud-veiled stars through the door beyond.

He had already stepped through the door when he realised that long room was not empty; the faint glow from the banked hearth was matched by a candle flame and in its light a slim figure moved briskly from table to cupboard. Jerott froze, for a startled moment half-fearing some apparition from his dream, or, worse yet, an encounter with Lymond for which he was ill-prepared, but as the figure turned to greet him, he saw the fall of dark, unbound hair swing out around slender shoulders and recognised his hostess in a robe de chambre belonging, like Jerott’s own borrowed garment, no doubt, to her husband.

‘Jerott!’ Philippa came more fully into the light, her smile warming with more pleasure in the encounter than Jerott thought strictly reasonable for some time after two in the morning. ‘Couldn’t you sleep either?’

‘No,’ Jerott said shortly, and wondered what else he could say, but Philippa seemed unperturbed.

‘She gaue him milke, the slepe fell in his hede,’ she pronounced cheerfully. ‘I was making myself a posset, guaranteed by Kate to knock out half the county - of course, that’s in England. Would you like some?’

About to demur, Jerott was shepherded without delay to a seat at the well-scrubbed board and had an equally well-scrubbed lemon deposited in his nerveless hands. Half-hysterically, he found himself thinking that Djerba might have gone better with Philippa Crawford and not Giovanni Andrea Doria commanding the massed forces of Christendom. Taking the knife presented to him, he set to paring dutiful curls of zest and listened to the surprisingly comforting sounds as Philippa clattered around the kitchen, collecting the milk and cream from the cool slate and the sugar and nutmeg from the spice chest. As she worked, she hummed to herself, a fragment of Salve intemerata virgo, a snatch of a filthy ditty that he had heard on the docks at Leith. In short order, he found himself in possession of a steaming goblet of spiced posset aromatic with lemon and nutmeg and the Crawfords’ good French eau de vie, and being appraised frankly by the appallingly candid brown eyes of Francis’s child-bride.

A child no longer, he conceded with a shade of reluctance, although he could see the ghost of the scrubby and dishevelled adolescent alongside the the elegant courtier in the lines of her face as he squinted against the flickering warmth of the candlelight. A single lock of brown hair fell in disarray across her high brow, but, even in the dim light, it was glossy and well-trimmed, and the thin-fingered hands cupping the second goblet no longer showed the effects of diligent adolescent gnawing.

‘So,’ Philippa said conversationally, pushing a plate of sweetmeats towards him. ‘You saw Diccon’s argument with Francis.’

The posset soured in Jerott’s mouth. ‘Argument? He’s a child. He was crying. God, Philippa!’ Francis’s retort had, as ever, raised an angry and impotent resentment within him only made worse by the recognition that he was over-matched.

‘He’s Francis’s child,’ Philippa corrected gently. ‘He could pick a fight with a fencepost and is as highly strung as a papingo at a fair.’

Jerott subsided sulkily into his chair and eyed a sticky square of something dripping with honey and jewelled with candied nuts.

‘Baklava has many curative properties, but the banishment of nightmares is not one of them.’

As so often with Lymond, the softly spoken words left Jerott feeling as if he had been flensed and scoured raw, but there was a kindness in Philippa’s face that Lymond rarely permitted himself to display, and Jerott consciously relaxed the fingers clenched bitingly tight around the goblet until the ache of the healing wound in his shoulder subsided.

‘What, then? What possible reason could Francis have to treat his own son like that after… after…’

‘After losing Khaireddin? But if Diccon’s offence was no grave matter, neither was Francis’s.’ And in quick, amused words, Philippa sketched the outlines of a scene quite different to that which Jerott had seen - or thought he had seen: the tired, overexcited child; the hand tangled in the cat’s inviting fur until she awarded the barest scratch to her tormentor for this impertinent ambuscade; Francis’s insistence that Diccon should render his apologies to his feline friend before any consoling cuddle; child and cat alike falling asleep in Lymond’s lap even as he himself drowsed in the late sunlight. The light in the cornflower-blue eyes that had been not cold anger but a carefully corralled excess of emotion.

Philippa licked a crumb of honey-soaked semolina from her fingers and continued in a quieter voice, recalling the outspoken, stalwart child that Jerott remembered from the long-ago voyage, the terror and exhilaration alike of playing for Roxelana Sultàn, the dawning fear she had felt in the sultana’s gilded and grilled listening post above the Divan as she saw Jubrael Pasha for the first time. Kuzúm’s whipping and the despair of her wedding night in the French ambassador’s residence and the long journey home. 

As if it were drawn out of him like a skein of silk unravelling, Jerott found himself responding in kind, telling the story of his ill-fated foray to Mehedia, the horror that he had found there and the coming horror that he had been unable to prevent. Just a quarter-hour’s difference, just a little more wit to see the danger surrounding him, just a little more strength in his arm… Remembering the obscene travesty of the kiss pressed into the crook of his neck, Jerott looked away, into the shadows that crowded the corners of the kitchen, but Philippa’s fingertips pressed lightly against his own, a benediction of a kind, as cleansing as any priestly absolution. In a flash, he remembered the calm of Francis’s face set against the crispness of his pillow in Amiens, the blind, blank eyes and bloodless visage and quick, expressive features shorn of all emotion.

İpec böceǧi, for this wast thou born?

And - no; they had stood as well as they might against a malicious and terrible will and had found beyond its bounds some place of refuge, though it had driven them over distant lands and wide seas. It had made of them something which none of them had been able to contemplate, both for good and for ill, and, as storm-wrack, they lay upon its farthest shore. If there was grief here in plenty and a lifetime of Graham Reid Malett’s ill works to be unravelled in Scotland, there was no shame in that. 

Perhaps he was not formed as the horned worm of India, unable to sustain life even in others. 

With a start, Jerott realised that the goblet was empty and cool beneath his fingers, the plate reduced to a scattering of crumbs and the first faint glow of dawn spilling through the high, narrow windows. The cat perched on one end of the long table, glowering at them through narrow green eyes and batting at a scrap of honeyed pastry with a desultory paw. Blinking against the sting of tears, as caustic as any poison, Jerott saw that Philippa’s lids were drooping, her chin propped on one hand and the other laid lightly on the curve of her belly suddenly revealed beneath the fine lawn of her shift where the embroidered silk of her gown had dropped away. ‘You must forgive Francis, you see,’ she said in a voice warm and soft with sleep. ‘It is difficult for him at the moment.’

‘I - yes - there is nothing to forgive,’ Jerott said, and found that he meant it. Perhaps, like the pelican, Francis would sustain these children with the last of his own heart’s blood, as he might have sustained his firstborn, were it not for Gabriel’s schemes, but the stubborn light in Philippa’s drowsy dark eyes suggested that she had decided opinions on the matter. And, with abrupt solicitude, ‘You should go to bed.’

‘A moment longer. Goo to Morpheus; thou knowist hym well.’

Rising to his feet against the protesting ache of his own muscles, he was surprised to find himself swept into a hug comprised half of peacock-embroidered silk and half of flying dark hair that filled his nose with the scent of chypre. Cautiously, he let his own arms close around Philippa and felt a great flood tide of weariness sweep over him, as if all barriers to sleep had been swept away and that welcoming sea rushed in, bearing all before it.

Disentangling himself with only a little difficult involving Philippa’s hair and the carved horn buttons fastening the sleeves of his robe, Jerott padded sleepily from the kitchen, the cat weaving lazy patterns around his bare calves.

*******************************************************

‘Well, yunitsa?’ asked the figure lounging in the entrance to the larder, a sleepy, sardonic smile crooking one corner of his long mouth and pale linen sleeves falling back from his sinewy arms as he brought his hands up to frame her face.

‘Well,’ Philippa confirmed, and pressed a kiss to the scarred wrist. ‘He’ll sleep tonight, at least. And you?’

‘I see Astraea has absented herself, so I suppose we will find ourselves the next targets of the infant’s hair-pulling fervour in far too short a time, but for now my sleep, like justice, requires a witness.’

‘Then let me be witness by sight and by sign.’ Philippa smiled up into his face, smoothing the fingers of one hand through the disordered silk of his yellow hair. ‘Come to bed, Francis. There is nothing more to put right in the world tonight.’

*******************************************************

Notes

The first three paragraphs draw heavily on the description of Jerott’s approach to Mehedia in Pawn in Frankincense, pp. 111-112.

İpec böceǧi  - ‘silkworm’ in Turkish (I hope).

‘Like the silk moth which has no organs by which it can nourish itself’ - some version of this is repeated at various places in Pawn in Frankincense and also in Checkmate.

‘Mo cridh is a good little boy now’ - Pawn in Frankincense, p. 445, aka the most distressing line in the entirety of canon (and, let’s face it, there’s plenty of competition).

‘She gaue him milke, the slepe fell in his hede’ - John Lydgate, The Fall of Princes.

‘Goo to Morpheus; thou knowist hym well’ - Geoffrey Chaucer, Book of the Duchess.

#scotswap #lymond fanfic #my fic #philippa somerville #jerott blyth #francis crawford

[devanainjl]

that last joe/nicky art really killed me... i imagine it was yusuf’s turn to keep watch but he was so calmed by nicky sleping peacefully on his knee he couldn’t help but drift off...🤧😭

I think watching Nicky in his sleep is Joe's happiness. It's not strange that why Joe closed his eyes and fell asleep. Because he knows Nick is still with him :3

#Ask