#first in my fuck jkr series

[aletterinthenameofsanity]

hoping to do some good in the world (Muslim Hermione- fight me, jkr)

When a little muggleborn girl walks up to the Sorting Hat, a number of purebloods (and a number of muggleborns, to be honest) wonder why they can't see her hair- why her head and neck are covered by a dark blue headscarf.

In the ensuing months, they will learn the word hijab.

---

Hermione Granger is faithful and studious. She hates breaking the rules and is a perfectionist.

(She is also stupidly, irrevocably, wonderfully noble.)

In this universe, as in most others, Hermione Granger carries these traits close to her heart, in her spine and in her head. She holds faith in things that do not have a ready explanation, believes in heroes despite all evidence otherwise.

---

Hermione Granger finds a Summoning charm in her textbooks and figures it out how to perfect it before she even steps foot on the Hogwarts Express. If she is to complete her five daily prayers, then she will need a way to grab her prayer rug easily without having to carry it around all day (the Hogwarts blueprints show a school almost too large to be real- she’ll have to investigate that).

She leaves her first class and her lunch block for five minutes everyday. She heads out into the hallways, summons Abba’s prayer rug, recites a compass spell to orient herself toward Mecca, and recites her prayers.

---

This is not a story about heroes and villains. It is not a story about war and destruction, about magical spells and epic climaxes.

This is a story about the strength of a single girl’s faith.

---

Hermione knows fear. She knows the way that people look at her hijab with suspicion, look at her father like he’ll hurt them and her mother like she’s stupid (despite the fact that they’re both dentists, with their doctoral degrees and a wish to help others). She knows hatred, the way people sneer when they look at her and the way boys at her primary school would tug at her hijab, jeering names at her face.

She knows that Harry and Dean and Lavender and Anthony and Neville and the Patil twins all suffer from the same prejudice as she does, if for different reasons.

When Draco Malfoy spits mudblood in her face, when he curses her origins, she calls upon the spells that she can run past her lips. She summons up a righteous anger borne of years of absorbing others’ hatred, remembers pages and pages of spells. She whips hexes at prejudiced lips, smiles at the crunch of her fist against his face.

---

Hermione Janan Granger does not pray to flawed mentors and old men- she prays to Allah, and to herself. She is more than just a pawn, a fount of unfocused knowledge.

She wants to do good in the world, just like her parents, but she guards her trust close. She bestows it on those who have earned it- Harry, Ron, Ginny, Millicent, Anthony, Neville, Luna- but not on men who people seem to put blind faith in without proof.

Her faith is strong, but it is not without base.

---

She makes friends with Anthony Goldstein, who celebrates Yom Kippur and Hanukkah and the Shabbat prayers with the same devoutness with which she practices her own faith. In a rather secular, magical world, being able to find someone else who puts such effort into their faith is relieving to her.

---

During Ramadan, her mind grows sharp and her spells powerful even as her stomach growls. Her focus increases as her hunger grows, as her faith finds its way past the limits of her stomach and into her bones.

Her dedication to her faith becomes known, and respected. During this month of the year, she is unbeatable even as her skin grows a bit sallow and her stomach grumbles during classes.

(She heads down to the kitchens after sunset and is greeted by a feast. She understands that, magically speaking, it fulfills house elves to provide food for her, but her faith does not abide by slavery of any sort. It is hard for her to process their smiles whenever she asks for food.

So, instead, she thanks each and every house elf, mentions them all by name in her prayers. Perhaps this will help them.)

---

When Hermione tells Harry, the orphan boy, the forced hero of the story, that they are all heroes, she doesn’t mean that they are all saviors of worlds, leaders and princes. She doesn’t mean that they have to save the day, have to be courageous and beautiful and in love.

She means that they are survivors, and that this, in itself, is a heroic act.

---

Her caftan for the Yule Ball her fifth year is modest and beautiful. A long dark blue caftan, trimmed with dark blue lace and embroidered in gold, it is just perfect. Her hijab is dark blue to match.

Viktor Krum looks at her and smiles. “You look beautiful, скъп."

She smiles. “Thank you, Viktor."

Viktor Krum is nothing like the perfect Muslim boy she dreamed of as a little girl, but he is smart, and wonderful, and perfectly kind.

He respects her faith and her boundaries, calls her beautiful. He holds her hands, but does not kiss her. He is the perfect first boyfriend.

---

When she emerges from the lake, her hijab is sodden with water but thankfully still covers her hair and her neck.

---

Viktor leaves at the end of the Triwizard Tournament. Cedric won, Fleur placed second, and Viktor placed third. Despite his loss, he smiles and says, "It vas vorth it, Hermione, because I got to meet you."

Hermione returns his smile. "It was nice to meet you as well, Viktor. We'll continue to write, right?"

He nods. "Of course."

---

Hermione Granger is not meek. She is devout, and focused on her studies, but not meek.

She is full of faith for many things: Allah, education, and herself. She channels this faith into progress, into change.

---

Harry comes to her at the end of fifth year, stomach in his throat. “Hermione,” he says, eyes downcast, “I have something to tell you.”

“Yeah?” she asks, raising her eyes from her book.

“I...I think I like boys and girls.”

She looks at him. She’s suspected for a year or so, ever since his minor obsession with Cedric Diggory last year and the way he stares at Neville’s arse sometimes.

“Okay,” she says, and flips the page. “Tell me when you finally ask Longbottom out.”

Harry sputters, and she smiles.

---

Hermione’s sixth year, she breaks up with Viktor. It is an amicable split, no hard feelings between them. He wishes her luck with school and asks if she’ll mind if he comes to celebrate her graduation next year.

She smiles and says of course not.

---

She walks into the Room of Requirement (a fascinating discovery when searching for an answer to Harry’s Second Task two years ago) and finds Harry and Neville snogging in the middle of the Historic Legends section of the Great Hidden Library.

She clears her throat and they spring apart, looking like they’ve been caught doing something unspeakable. “Mind handing me the copy of the Upanishads, won’t you?” She gestures to Neville, who grabs a copy of the book that she’s seen him reading on the Express and hands it to her. “Thanks,” she says, and heads over to the Muggle Sports section (the far end of the library) so she can read in peace.

---

Hermione graduates top of her class, Susan Bones, Draco Malfoy, and Terry Boot right behind her.

The world is at her fingertips, and all of knowledge is within her grasp. She can change everything wrong with the world.

---

When Hermione Granger is eleven, she climbs a stool and puts a hat on her head. She is told that she will do well in either Ravenclaw or Slytherin, and she smiles.

I want to learn everything, she thinks, and the Sorting Hat shouts her House to the world.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13706415

#first in my fuck jkr series #harry potter #hermione granger #muslim hermione granger #anti jkr #fuck jkr rowling #black harry potter #character of faith #poc hermione granger #hermione x viktor #harry x neville #racism #character study #one of my most popular fics #thought someone here might like my jkr spitefics #fight me in a denny's parking lot jkr

[batcavescolony]

just saw someone say Rick Riordan making a TV show is just as bad as anything JKR has done. BFFR you're comparing Rick Riordan trying to make his world more inclusive, changing some parts because of money/time constraints, or just making changes cus he thinks they're needed, to JKR being a terrible person!

#and not to say Ricks work is perfect. ill be the firat to tell you his mistakes. his aspec rep is shit. his minorities rep has problems #he has general time line problems. im not says hes perfect but he tried from a good place #jkr named a character ChoChang. her Scottish character blow stuff up and tried to make alcohol. named a black character Shackelbolt #like damn get over yourself. #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson and the olympians #percy series #pjo series #pjo #pjo tv show #pjo tv series #pjo tv adaptation #if you wanna say shit about Rick ok. but be correct about it #how is he just as bad as jkr for not using the book he made in the early 2000s an exact script for the TV show being released in 2024? #and they yall had the audacity to be pissed when he didn't put a song about sex thats literally says `fuck her face° in the background of #LITERAL 12 YEAR OLDS in a place with memory altering properties..... thats whats you wanted. children getting high to a song about sex. #°oH bUt iN tHe mOvIe tHaT i WaTcHeD wHeN i waS tWeLvE' where the actors where like what 18? and weren't 12? that one? 🙄 #some of you are getting on my nerves. yes the show's pacing is eh really thats a reason to curisfy Rick Riordan? thats what you're deciding #this is the line? a tv show thats on its first season and is more accurate then the movies that came out? #good to know

[heartbreak-grl]

pov: re-reading harry potter for the first time as adults

#plus random game pigeons lol #haven’t read the series since i was 13 #on prisoner of azkaban now #lowkey the first two were a tough read #poa slays though #can’t wait to get to ootp my love #harry potter #harry potter critical #fuck jkr

[tired-bisexual-brainrot]

my official intro post!

hello bylers, i’ve had this account for a few months now and i realized that i never made an actual intro post so here it is!

‼️PLS DO NOT SEND ME CHAINMAIL‼️

name: alaina

pronouns: she/they

orientations: bisexual, demiromantic, demigirl

my big 3: taurus sun, taurus moon, gemini rising

my blog’s anniversary/birthday: july 5th 2022

my other fandoms: marauders era, heartstopper, IT, and ouat (i usually only ever post abt byler/st tho and the only other fandom i’m more involved in is the marauders) (occasionally [rarely ever] i post abt yttd and i’ll rb things abt persona 4 & 5)

i joined the byler tag around 40k, it has been sm fun i love y’all (byler tag august 2022 you will always be famous)

founder of descendantsgate

top 3 fav ships: byler, elumax, and jancy

top 3 fav platonic friendships: madwheeler, willel, and byclair

my other accounts:

@byler-barista-anon @bylers-vecna

you can find me on ao3 @ tired_bisexual_brainrot

links to my fics:

platonic madwheeler fic (ongoing multi chapter fic ft: byler and elumax)

jopper + byers-hopper family one-shot (ft: ex meets new family trope)

my blogs tags:

#alaina’s ask box (for asks)

#alaina’s madwheeler fic (for updates)

#cousins texts as st characters series (there are currently 8 parts to this series so this tag is so you are able to find all of them)

#blog intro #intro post #the tags listed -> #alaina’s ask box #alaina’s madwheeler fic #cousins texts as st characters series #adorebylercore💞 #skittles squad #byler #i am a byler blog first and foremost #but my roots are in the marauders #been in the marauders fandom for like 2 years btw #fuck jkr #i will most likely be adding to this post over time

[craanber]

Hot take but god the ENTIRETY of idw Transformers is so badly written.

Mtmte/LL particularly is super bad at show don't tell but the main series in particular is super frustrating but at least it was coherent to some extent.

Like. If mtmte was published as a monster of the week format with no over arching theme it would have been better

#thry arent at war and theres no interesting fights #what the fuck is going on none of this makes sense why are you info dumping so much #transformers #idk what to tag bc like I dont really want to have this pop up in tags #anyways idw was my first tf comic series and I'm just...so disappointed with ebery aspect of it #like not even from a point #its simply so much #also I'm angry at how idw 1 ended #not to mention that mtmte completely contradicts whats going on in transformers/Till all are one/optimus prime #also JRo is basically doing what we all made fun of JKR of doing pre-Terf bs #idw critical #transformers critical #neg #idk thats all i got its been on my mind since i finished reading 2 weeks ago

[hollowed-theory-hall]

what's the one harry potter pairing u like that u mentioned in the tags of your hinny post?

Anonymous: Can I ask who that minor character you ship with Harry is? For some absurd reason my mind jumped to Stan Shunpike lol but it's probably not him.... Or is it?

Okay, so this is kind of a funny story. Like, my pipeline through hp pairings was a weird one. Like, I used to read a lot of Harry pairings, still do on occasion (some make more sense than others). None of them were ones I would point at and say: "that should've happened in the books"

One day, I was innocently writing a fic (canon divergence of GoF), and it was just for me, for funnsies, never posted it anywhere and not planning to. And I planned to pair Harry with someone there (honestly, I don't remember who because I didn't write the plan down) but when writing, Harry ended up with a different character. And it was so strange to me because that never happened.

Like, how do you write a ship accidentally?

But I did. I wrote Harry into a ship by accident. So I went back to the books to try and figure out why the hell would my subconscious decide that's the way to go.

I'll also preface it by all this being my subjective opinion and I do read other Harry ships in fics, this one just quickly became my favorite to write (and the only one I write). Also, I don't actually think this is a pairing that should've happened in the books, it's place is in fic and that's where I like it.

So, the character I accidentally shipped with Harry is... *drumroll*

Stan Shunpike!

Not really, it's:

Theodore Nott

Now, you might look at the name and go: "Who the fuck is that?"

And you'll be correct. Theo has 0 speaking lines in the entire book series. His name appears twice. He, himself, as a person, only appeared on page, like, 3 times in the background. The scene that gives the most information about him is other characters talking about him. He isn't even present.

That being said, I'm very good at extrapolating a lot of information from very little evidence. So allow me, to walk you through who is Theodore Nott and why I ship him with Harry.

Basic Information

So, let's start with the most basic overview before I pull out the quotes and go any deeper.

We know Theo is a Slytherin student in Harry's year. So he likely shares a dorm with Draco, Blaise, Crabbe, and Goyle.

Theo's father is both at the graveyard at the end of GoF and in the Department of Mysteries at the end of OotP, so we know he is a Death Eater. We also know Thoe's father was one of the first and closest Death Eaters to Voldemort, who waited for him during his interview with Dumbledore in 1967:

“Then if I were to go to the Hog’s Head tonight, I would not find a group of them — Nott, Rosier, Mulciber, Dolohov — awaiting your return? Devoted friends indeed...”

(HBP, page 444)

We also know the Nott family is "as pure-blooded as the Malfoys" according to JKR in an interview. We also know Theo's great-grandfather (maybe? the family relation isn't clear), Cantankerus Nott, is suspected to be the one who wrote the Pure-Blood Dictionary, the book that coined the term "Sacred 28" and made that list (which the Nott family are on).

The name Nott is potentially to be derived from the name Nótt, which is the personification of the night in Norse Mythology. So it has been theorized the Nott family have a Nordic origin. Possible, but it doesn't really matter for this post.

What does, is that he comes from a dark, Death Eater, blood-purist family similar to the Malfoys. Even so, Theo never took the Dark Mark and never joined Voldemort in the books.

Now, that we have the basic information out of the way, let's look at Theodore as a person.

All the details I could gather from the books

Alright, now we get to the fun part. That is, me going through all the relevant scenes that mention Theodore Nott and actually creating a character psychoanalysis out of basically nothing.

So, the quotes aren't organized in a particular order. I'm just going to explain Theo and then explain why all this makes me ship him with Harry.

“Well, I pity Slughorn’s taste. Maybe he’s going a bit senile. Shame, my father always said he was a good wizard in his day. My father used to be a bit of a favorite of his. Slughorn probably hasn’t heard I’m on the train, or —” “I wouldn’t bank on an invitation,” said Zabini. “He asked me about Nott’s father when I first arrived. They used to be old friends, apparently, but when he heard he’d been caught at the Ministry he didn’t look happy, and Nott didn’t get an invitation, did he? I don’t think Slughorn’s interested in Death Eaters.” Malfoy looked angry, but forced out a singularly humorless laugh.

(HBP, page 150)

This is a part of the conversation between Draco, Pansy, and Blaise, Harry overhears when he is hiding in their compartment at the beginning of HBP. I have a few things to note regarding this scene.

Firstly, throughout this conversation, Pansy, Blaise, and Draco all call each other by their first name. This shows closeness, they are all friendly and familiar enough to use their first names with each other. Theo, though, is referred to as "Nott" by all three in the compartment.

He doesn't actually sit in their compartment which is in itself a sign about how he isn't really friendly with Draco's group. Considering the group is most of his year from his house, Theo is likely very lonely, and it will be apparent from other scenes I bring up later.

Secondly, Theo's father is in Azkaban. We know Draco is bothered about his own father's predicament. He mentions it to Harry and bothers him over it, Theo doesn't though. Theo doesn't seem to be bothered by Harry or his father's incarceration.

The only conclusion I can draw from this is that the relationship between Theo and his father is not a good one.

(I know some fics like to have Lucius be abusive towards Draco, for some reason. But the books really don't back this up. Lucius loves Draco and Draco adores his father)

Theo, though, Theo seems to be the one with a very strained relationship with his father. Strained enough that he isn't bothered the man is in Azkaban. What I'm saying is that Theo's father likely abuses or mistreats him in some capacity.

If anything more was needed to complete Harry’s happiness, it was Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle’s reactions. He saw them with their heads together later that afternoon in the library, together with a weedy-looking boy Hermione whispered was called Theodore Nott. They looked around at Harry as he browsed the shelves for the book he needed on Partial Vanishment, and Goyle cracked his knuckles threateningly and Malfoy whispered something undoubtedly malevolent to Crabbe. Harry knew perfectly well why they were acting like this: He had named all of their fathers as Death Eaters

(OotP, page 583)

This is a scene at the end of OotP after Draco, Crabbe, Goyle and Theo's fathers were caught at the ministry and sent to Azkaban because they are Death Eaters. There are a few important notes about this scene.

The first, Hermione knows Theo, while Harry and Ron don't really. This means she likely knows him from the classes she takes and Harry and Ron don't — Arithmancy and/or Ancient Runes.

The second, he is sitting with other Death Eater children, but I don't think it's by choice. I mentioned in the previous quote how he isn't close to Draco and his crew. He sits with them here mostly because he doesn't have another choice. Theo doesn't seem to really have any friends, so he sits with the closest people he has to friends — kids he has known since he was young because their fathers were in the same circle.

The other note about this is that Crabbe, Goyle, and Draco are all mentioned as being threatening and malicious towards Harry because they don't like that their fathers are in Azkaban. Theo, though, Theo doesn't threaten Harry, he isn't part of their whisperings. As I mentioned above, he's likely happy his father is in Azkaban.

A pair of blank, white, shining eyes were growing larger through the gloom and a moment later the dragonish face, neck, and then skeletal body of a great, black, winged horse emerged from the darkness. It looked around at the class for a few seconds, swishing its long black tail, then bowed its head and began to tear flesh from the dead cow with its pointed fangs. A great wave of relief broke over Harry. Here at last was proof that he had not imagined these creatures, that they were real: Hagrid knew about them too. He looked eagerly at Ron, but Ron was still staring around into the trees and after a few seconds he whispered, “Why doesn’t Hagrid call again?” Most of the rest of the class were wearing expressions as confused and nervously expectant as Ron’s and were still gazing everywhere but at the horse standing feet from them. There were only two other people who seemed to be able to see them: a stringy Slytherin boy standing just behind Goyle was watching the horse eating with an expression of great distaste on his face, and Neville, whose eyes were following the swishing progress of the long black tail.

(OotP, page 445)

“The only people who can see thestrals,” she said, “are people who have seen death.”

(OotP, page 446)

The stringy Slytherin boy mentioned here is Theo. This scene proves that:

He takes Care of Magical Creatures

He saw someone die

Let's explore the second one for a moment. The fact Theo can see Thestrals means he watched someone die and was old enough to comprehend what he was seeing. We also know Theo's mother is dead. So it's likely the person he watched die was his mother.

I also want to draw attention to Theo's distaste towards Thestrals. He could likely see them carrying the carriages every year since 2nd year, it's not his first time seeing them. But it doesn't stop his displeasure with their sight from showing. Which says something about him. It means he likely recalls his mother and her death whenever he looks at the Thestrals. and these are memories Theo rather not experience.

We don't know how his mother died, but I'd hazard a guess it wasn't natural. After all, wizards have long life spans, they are more durable to illness and injury, and don't usually die from accidents unless very extreme or magical. And there was no epidemic of dragonpox (a disease that does tend to kill wizards) in the time since 1980 and the books. So, she was more likely killed at some point between 1985(ish) and 1991.

“No, I don’t think so, sir. I’m Muggle-born, you see.” Harry saw Malfoy lean close to Nott and whisper something; both of them sniggered, but Slughorn showed no dismay; on the contrary, he beamed and looked from Hermione to Harry, who was sitting next to her.

(HBP, pages 185-186)

First, Theo is an O student in potions since he is in the potions NEWT class, and was probably meant to be there even if Snape was the teacher.

Second, again, Theo doesn't really have friends. He sits next to Draco as the only other Slytherin in the class. Also, they share the circumstances of being sons of Death Eaters currently in Azkaban. Although both of them seem to deal with it quite differently.

Third, Theo joins Draco in making fun of Hermione's blood status, but he does not initiate it. Considering the environment he was raised in and is in, it makes sense he would make fun of it. Whether he's a blood-purist or not, he would want to keep his image considering he doesn't have many allies. Hanging out with Draco is survival, not friendship. They aren't even on a first-name basis with each other.

“Amortentia doesn’t really create love, of course. It is impossible to manufacture or imitate love. No, this will simply cause a powerful infatuation or obsession. It is probably the most dangerous and powerful potion in this room — oh yes,” he said, nodding gravely at Malfoy and Nott, both of whom were smirking skeptically. “When you have seen as much of life as I have, you will not underestimate the power of obsessive love. . . .

(HBP, page 186)

The final quote I have about Theo is from the same potions class as above. Both he and Draco are portrayed here as underestimating amortentia and its potential damage. It makes sense for their upbringing in the Wizarding World, which has no real laws or regulations regarding love potions that are seen as harmless fun more often than not.

I'll add Theo likely didn't witness a healthy romantic relationship. Considering his father is a Death Eater who is likely abusive and may or may not have killed his mother. With this as his reference to a marriage, it's clear why he'd look down on love and love potions.

Why I think Theo and Harry have potential

Okay, so now that we know who Theodore Nott is, let's talk about why I ship him with Harry.

I think Harry, in general, would get along best with a clever partner with the ability to be ruthless (Slytherins or Ron fall into this category). Because Harry isn't some golden savior; he casts unforgivables, and is very willing to poison Umbridge or Crocio Snape if he could get away with it. He needs a partner that won't be horrified by these thoughts.

Also, Theo literally never speaks on page. Even when spoken to, his reactions are silent. I think this quiet and no need to talk, the ability to be comfortable in silence, is something that would be comfortable for Harry. Harry in the books finds himself annoyed with Ron and Hermione's constant banter on occasion, so I think it fits well.

Theo would also be comfortable around Harry without a need to play a certain part. Because Harry wouldn't care about that. He would honestly rather Theo forgo the pure-blood Slytherin act.

I feel like Harry and Theo, have a good potential to understand each other. Theo lost his mother and likely experiences abuse from his father. It makes them very likely to trauma bond over their crap life and shared experience. Two out of three only ones who could see the Thestrals in the entire class.

The other thing I feel they could connect over is being lonely. Harry spent all his childhood until Hogwarts basically being on his own. Theo stayed on his own. Draco at least has his parents, he has other students he's closer to, not that he shares everything with them, but he has some support network. Theo has none. And this is something Harry knows well.

Theo, I think, wouldn't expect anything specific from Harry. He doesn't even interact with him, not to mock him, and not to idolize him, he doesn't care at all. And we know how much Harry appreciates being thought of as Harry and not as the Boy-Who-Lived. Theo would allow Harry to be himself without some mold he wants him to fit in.

The fact Theo never becomes a Death Eater, even though he was in Draco's year and his father was a Death Eater before Lucius (and in better standing than Lucius with Voldemort) is so interesting. It's somewhat surprising Theo wasn't marked. It means he didn't want to be. It means that Theo Nott didn't want to torture and kill muggleborns or blood traitors, or anyone really. And he didn't want to swear his allegiance to Voldemort. This is just a fascinating fact to me and something I enjoy considering. What life experience made him come to that conclusion? Was it just his dislike of his father that pushed him away? Could he have been another Sirius Black (Gryffindor in a Slytherin family) under slightly different circumstances? I mean, Voldemort likely wouldn't force him to become a Death Eater, but would his father? I don't know what at all went down there, but I like that potential story.

We also know he wasn't part of Umbridge's Inquisitorial Squad, even though some minor Slytherins were mentioned to be part of it. He just seems to be an actually decent guy (I don't care what Cursed Child says about him, I know he's there but I avoided almost anything to do with Cursed Child so I barely know the plot).

Finally, this is a character Harry doesn't have as much drama to get over with. Yes, sometimes I want to read overcoming drama between characters before it becomes a romance, but sometimes I want something chiller than that. And Theo is a really chill, safe, Slytherin option for Harry.

#harry potter #harry potter thoughts #hollowedtheory #hollowedheadcanon #hp #hp thoughts #harry james potter #asks #anon asks #anonymous #theodore nott #theo nott #nottpott

[olderthannetfic]

you mentioned in an ask that the ending of HP book 5 was "so offensive that you dropped the series." can you elaborate on that?

--

Did I say it was offensive? I suppose I might have meant "offensive to my sensibilities" or something.

No, the end of book 5 was moronic.

It's eleventh hour tragedy tacked on for drama. Having there not even be a body is stupid as fuck too. I didn't think it was a fakeout, but I did think it was written like one, which is unforgivably hack-ish.

My actual issues that told me she wasn't worth reading anymore weren't quite that though. They were these two things:

First, there was allcaps yelling. I do not tolerate authors who've gotten too big to listen to their editors about standard formatting. Allcaps yelling is for stupid children on the internet, not something I paid for, much less something from a major publisher that I bought a hardback of.

Second, in interviews JKR tried to justify Sirius' death as "Real life is full of random tragedy" and some bullshit about teaching readers to face life.

I do not read Improving Literature. How arrogant to think that any reader needed her lesson! How doubly arrogant to think that her writing is strong enough to even do that! Now that is genuinely offensive in a way that the book never was.

This line is such a hallmark of undergrad writing classes and that tedious person in your writers' group who keeps writing plots that don't work and then getting offended when people say so.

It's literally one of the top cliches people say in defending their bad writing!

Every writing how-to book and blog has at least one post going "Real life may not make sense, but fiction is not generally random" and explaining why this justification is a cop-out that leads to cruddy books.

Self importance and incompetence are not things i look for in an author.

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

I know they’re NPCs we never see in canon, but do you have any headcanons for both sets of Harry Potter’s grandparents?

Well, there's things that make it into fics, though I'm not sure they really count in the fact that if people wanted to argue with me I'd just shrug and a lot of them are because it's useful for one story or another.

That said, we do know/can infer quite a bit about both sets even though we never see them. This is a lot like the Alphard Black case in that @therealvinelle and I subscribe to what we can infer/what makes for the best character for our purposes.

Euphemia and Fleamont Potter

We know a few things about James's parents without even venturing into the nebulous and hilarious realm of Pottermore. First, they died before Harry reaches the age of eleven and finds out about the wizarding world. Second, they took in Sirius when he ran away at sixteen, he canonically went to live with James and Sirius cited no friction with the Potters. Third, James is their only son. Second, James married Lily Evans, a Muggle-born. Fourth, there's no pictures of Harry with his paternal grandparents at any point.

Now, if we scrape from Pottermore, we get more details that shockingly don't contradict what we see of Harry's background that he's vaguely aware of in canon.

The Potters are noted to historically being the odd ducks and essentially the Weasleys. They were dirt poor, backwater, and ideas about Muggle-borns and Muggles that no one agreed with (that were per the examples JKR gave er not as enlightened as she intended). However, Fleamont struck rich when, as an able potioneer, he produced a hair product that sold like fucking crazy. Everyone bought this stuff. And so, the Potter wealth was born, and Harry inherits gobs of galleons and is stupid rich.

Fleamont and Euphemia are also noted as having a child very late. This is because JKR is hilariously bad at math and keeps making 13-year-old fathers unintentionally (in my personal opinion she should own it) but in this case she makes Fleamont born before 1909 and James in 1960, so he's at least 51, at least. It's noted that they had given up on expecting to have a child.

They're noted as having died of dragon pox late enough to see James and Lily married but died before Harry was born so around 1980 at >= 68.

We also have a brother of Fleamont, Charlus, who is younger and marries Dorea Black. They have at least one child who will carry the Potter name, who would be around James's age, who we then never hear of. They do not ever reach out to Harry throughout the series nor does Harry ever learn of them.

So, where does that get us?

We're looking at a newly wealthy couple who have been iced out of most Pureblood friendships for a long time, who despite having pro-Muggle views don't really know anything about Muggles and were Pureblood until Lily Evans entered the picture, who have a single son who they cherish deeply and will let get away with nearly anything.

These are the kinds of people who believe that they should have helped the Muggle chaps out in WWI (never mind that it was a war about nothing, and it'd be needlessly escalating it into a wizard conflict about nothing), who talk about promoting the Muggle-borns, gladly have Lily Evans over for dinner, but quietly aren't thrilled that James married her and are very thinly smiling during the wedding. They're the kind who don't mind alienating the Blacks when they enable Sirius running away (or, again, aren't thrilled about it but it's James's best friend) and it explains a lot of James's behavior that he's the beloved charismatic only child who does no wrong and expects things to work out for him.

Lily Evans's Parents

These we have a bit less on.

We do know that no mention of him was made on where to send Harry nor do we ever see them canonically when we do see Aunt Marge. They are given no mention.

We do know the sisters had a strained relationship due to Lily's magic but we got no indication that there was any issue with the parents even with Lily basically receiving no education and disappearing for most of the year.

@therealvinelle and I tend to lean towards that her parents died at the very least before Harry was born if not when she was in school. Given they both suddenly disappear and are unlikely to have died of plague like James's parents, we typically have had them die in a car accident as that's something that would take them both out at once and potentially fuels the Dursley's "your parents die in a car accident".

In our fics this has fueled Petunia's hatred of her sister, beyond resentment, as Lily was unable to save her father who sustained brain damage in the accident and had to be pulled off life support.

We imagine an early expectation was placed on Lily by her parents that she catch up with her Muggle schooling in the summer, when they realize she's learning nothing, but this slowly fades as the years go by and Lily ends up feeling very alienated from her parents and her family in general.

#harry potter #harry potter meta #harry potter headcanon #lily evans #james potter #anti james potter #fleamont potter #anti fleamont potter #euphemia potter #anti euphemia potter #meta #headcanon #opinion #vinelle #therealvinelle

[jaskiersbard]

Fuck JK Rowling but it makes me so angry to think we could have had a complete Fantastic Beasts series with an autistic lead who isn’t a total stereotype, who is loveable, who has a love interest instead of just being infantilised…and instead we’re getting a seven season Harry Potter reboot/remake that no one asked for or wanted on HBO Max.

When I was going through the process of my autism diagnosis, feeling anxious and worried about what being diagnosed would mean, knowing that Newt Scamander - a character who is adored by so many in a major franchise - was being played as autistic helped me tremendously. I saw much of myself in Newt, and it made me feel seen that an autistic person like myself could be the hero, that Newt wasn’t a joke or stereotype. It was so important to me coming to terms with my diagnosis that a character I loved was like me and not limited by being autistic.

I’ve mentioned this before but on the opening day of Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore in the UK, there was a boy on the row in front of me. When Newt came onscreen, he started bouncing and flapping his hands excitedly - like me, he was autistic and saw himself represented on the big screen.

“But Luna Lovegood” - you know what, controversial but fuck your “but Luna Lovegood”. Her actress sided with the TERF, and Luna is NOT confirmed to be autistic, it’s just a popular fan headcanon. Meanwhile Newt Scamander has been confirmed by Eddie Redmayne (not JKR, fuck her) to be on the spectrum. I’m not saying she definitely isn’t because I can definitely see it, and it’s wonderful autistic people can relate, but I’m talking about a character who is intentionally written and portrayed as autistic instead of just fan headcanons.

What does having a love interest have to do with this? Believe it or not, this isn’t me just being a shipper: too often are autistic people infantilised, as if we can’t love other people or that people are incapable of loving us. But - as anyone following me most likely knows - Newt Scamander has a love interest, Porpentina “Tina” Goldstein, who he’s canonically married to in the future. They even have a grandson who is called Rolf and marries the aforementioned Luna.

In the three films, we only got a few scenes (and then JK Rowling cut Tina out because Katherine Waterston called her out on multiple occasions for being a transphobe) of Newtina but what we got showed that not only is Newt capable of forming a romantic attachment but also Tina clearly loves Newt as he is, quirks and all. She understood his odd compliment of “salamander eyes” because she knows his special interest is magical creatures and it’s his way of saying he adores her eyes. She read his book and genuinely made an effort to learn because she knew magical creatures were important to him, and we saw her grow from thinking he was writing an “extermination guide” to giving him the name for his book, “Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them”. My girl Tina LOVES Newt for who he is and always has, and that’s beautiful.

Seeing an autistic person not only fall in love - he spends the whole of the 2nd and 3rd films lamenting on how beautiful she is, talking about her and with her picture in his pocket/suitcase - but also being loved for who they are is something so rarely seen and is so important.

I’ll be the first to hold my hands up and say that the second and third Fantastic Beasts movies weren’t the greatest, by the way. I will agree to that. The first one seems like a damn masterpiece in comparison, even with its problems, but I’m still angry.

The fact that JK Rowling’s bigotry has contributed to losing this rare example of autistic representation in a major mainstream franchise is something no one talks about when discussing her actions, and it hurts that no one seems to care about canon autistic representation.

#this was prompted by me rewatching the first two films whilst sick last week #I tweeted this out last week but felt it relevant to post here #fantastic beasts and where to find them #newt scamander #eddie redmayne #autism #actually autistic #tina goldstein #porpentina goldstein #katherine waterston #newtina #fantastic beasts: the crimes of grindelwald #fantastic beasts: the secrets of dumbledore #newt x tina #anti jk rowling #anti jkr #radfems dni #terfs dni

[aroeddiediaz]

20 questions for fic writers

Tagged by @cal-daisies-and-briars , @jesuiscenseedormir , @diazsdimples

How many works do you have on ao3?

27!

What's your total ao3 word count?

61,537

What fandoms do you write for?

Currently I’m pretty much exclusively a 9-1-1 writer, but in the past I wrote a lot of Flarrowverse (do they still call it that?). I also have published fics for Fantastic Beasts and a few anime (Given, Haikyuu, Saiki K). Given the number of Bnha wips i have locked away in the vault it’s amazing I don’t have anything published for that.

Top 5 fics by kudos:

(I am omitting all the Flarrowverse fics in my top 5 on the basis that they were written in high school and I’ve changed as a person, and they probably only beat out on the numbers due to being up for years longer)

1. Kabe-Do’s and Kabe-Don’ts (Given, 861 kudos)

2. You’re Not Special (Saiki K, 598 kudos)

3. How Eddie Learned To Stop Worrying And Embrace The Kitten Life (9-1-1, 327 kudos)

4. The Boy Formerly Known As Miracle (Haikyuu, 277 kudos)

5. Under The Hood (9-1-1, 275 kudos)

Do you respond to comments?

Yes!! As many as I can!

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

This probably has to be The Crimes of Queenie Goldstein, in which Queenie is put on trial for her actions during the war. Don’t @ me but Queenie turning traitor was bu far the most interesting part of the Crimes of Grindelwald (the only interesting thing, really). There could be such an interesting story between her and Tina if only JKR would let the movies out of her grasp.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Fuck, idk if I have a happiest ending fic, a lot of them tend to not have that much story arc. (A lot of established relationship fluff or smut lmao). I guess if I had to pick one it would probably be How Eddie Learned To Stop Worrying and Embrace The Kitten Life.

Do you get hate on fics?

Not since that one anti-olicity fic that I wrote while deep in the trenches of Flarrowverse discourse, which I totally deserved :/. I have regrets. Also I should probably orphan/delete that one if I haven’t already. In my defense, high school. I have learned.

Do you write smut?

Yea lol. I think my 9-1-1 stuff has been almost exclusively smut. Idk how it happened. (I do know how it happened smut is fun to write)

Craziest crossover?

I haven’t published any of my crossover fics :( none of them have been complete enough. I have many many unfinished RotBTD wips that have never seen the light of day though.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Who would steal my stuff? Lol

Have you ever had a fic translated?

One time someone offered to translate one of my fics into Russian but idk if that ever actually happened.

Have you co-written a fic before?

Nope

All time favorite ship?

Right now definitely Buddie! Percabeth holds a special place in my heart though <3

What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Ok. After the end of the Heroes of Olympus Series, but before Trials of Apollo was announced, I tried my own hand at writing the sequel that was clearly coming based on all the loose threads in the final book. It was going to be a Solangelo quest to save the Oracle of Delphi from Python, while Akhys tries to poison Percy to turn him into an evil god(?). Half the details have been lost and I desperately want to remember them, because I haven’t attempted anything nearly as cool or ambitious since then. The first 5 chapters are posted on my ao3 (Will Solace and the Oracle’s Cry) and I still think high school me had the most interesting characterization of Will out of everyone else on the internet at the time. Even if it is still very 2015.

What are your writing strengths?

I think I’m good at getting into the heads of different characters. Understanding their motives and weaknesses.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Editing.

Lmao I have a lot of weaknesses but I definitely struggle the most with trying to look back on or change things I’ve already written, even when it’s necessary.

Also my tendency to just drop fics if I stop working on them for too long. Rip to my wip graveyard.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

That’s a minefield I’m not willing to play in. Unless it’s Chinese. Very limited amounts of Chinese. Or like, a pet name or phrase that’s already ubiquitous in fandom so I’m not risking anything.

First fandom you wrote in?

Percy Jackson!! That Will Solace quest is the first thing I ever wrote! I definitely had a tendency to jump into the deep end with new hobbies lmao. Like my first ever cosplay that took me 3 years to complete.

Favorite fic you've written?

I think my favorite fic is always going to be the one I’m currently working on writing. But I am very proud of the silly little dramatic ironies in In Hindsight, which I wrote entirely over one long lunch the day after 7x04 broke me. Also I have to shoutout Teacher’s Pet, that one ruler spanking fic nobody ever reads because it’s Eddie/Ana lmao. I enjoyed putting in a bunch of tiny incompatibilities between them. So, uh, I guess my favorite thing in my own writing is dramatic irony?

Tagging: @aspecbuddie @pirrusstuff @jesuisici33 @steadfastsaturnsrings @lemonzestywrites @your-catfish-friend @inkmortal-trash389 @evanbegins s @wildlife4life @eddiebabygirldiaz @epicbuddieficrecs @kitteneddiediaz @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @coatedpanda16 @nicotinewrites @estheticpotaeto @babytrapperdiaz @snowviolettwhite @wikiangela

#artemis writing

[discoveredreality]

new intro post!

last update: 25/02/2024

BELOVED MOOTS

@island-of-stars THEY'RE MY BESTIE I LOVE THEM SM IF U DON'T FUCK OFF

and that's the end of the list i'm too scared to tag anyone else im sorry idk i can add more ppl later maybe idk dm me or smth this is scary

about me

i'm ari. she/her. nicknames welcome. go wild. dude/bro/girl/literally anything is also fine. i use 'lol' and '<3' too much. straight idk. and cis. minor. indian but i live in australia. bengali/punjabi. band kid. pinterest is here. DM ME I NEED MORE FRIENDS

personality/star sign or whatever

according to the mbti test here i am an istp-t. i am also a cancer. i found out my sun, moon and rising signs and the marauders version and i wrote it down and lost it so then i redid it and i lost it again so i can't bother at this point someone help me :(

time zone

Australian Eastern Standard Time (AEST) i think??

my music taste

i love taylor swift, conan gray, olivia rodrigo, lana del rey, sabrina carpenter and i'm probably forgetting some. also love bollywood music.

favourite books and authors

i love reading and i'm usually a really fast reader lol. i love harry potter (fuck jkr tho), kotlc, chetan bhagat books, the twisted series, shatter me, simon vs the homo sapiens agenda and love simon, the book thief, the inheritance games, agggtm, all of karen m. mcmanus's books, the divergent series, lorien legacies, the selection, radio silence, solitaire, powerless and a bunch of other books.

dni

idk the usual?? if u think ppl arent valid or you're literally an asshole. honestly you all can go get stuffed. idgaf

tag games and shit

yes you can absolutely tag me. i love tag games and chain asks. sometimes i may not get to doing it but i usually will and it makes me so happy when i'm tagged lol

tags

i don't post that much original stuff so i don't really have mulitple tags for my posts. anything or any shitposting or thoughts will be tagged #ari's shit. for asks it's #ari gets an ask?

fandom

i'm literally obsessed with drarry but i'm mostly part of the marauders fandom. i'm starting to make my way through all of the marauders fics. i also love the life series, empires and hermitcraft. i love kotlc sm. i'm low-key in love with keefe sencen and i've recently read percy jackson and the heroes of olympus for the first time.

all the above photos are not mine, i got them off of pintrest.

my profile pic is obviously from the makowka picrew here

the beautiful dividers are linked here. these are by @saradika-graphics she is a literal star these dividers are so good

#ari's shit

[dani-luminae]

People don't need you holding their hand and promising them ~they're not a bad person uwu~ the point is it's a problem!

You're right! They don't need me holding their hand! That's why I'm not.

It is a problem. Did you read my post beyond the first few lines? I'm not denying it's a problem. Because it is! I'm trans myself and I cannot possibly overstate how much of a problem JKR's attitude is.

The point of my post is that "even if you were a fan once, here's how it's turned out, you can learn or you can be part of the problem." Because a whole bunch of posts acting like some random person on the Internet is a monster for having liked the movies/books or owned a bit of merchandise does not help anything!

No one twenty years ago could have predicted the spiral that JKR would take. No one knew that it would end up embroiled in such vitriol. Harry Potter was just immensely popular. Movies, books, literal theme parks.

And honestly, TERFs and other awful groups rely on kneejerk defensiveness as a foot-in-the-door recruitment tool. "Look at how mean those marginalized people were because you said you liked a book series! We understand you, come sit with us and we'll talk ~"

That was the point of my post. No one's horrible just because they enjoyed a franchise that was quite literally everywhere in the early 2010s. What makes them horrible is being informed on the bigotry that JKR is spouting (the seeds of which are unfortunately present in her books) and still deciding to support it. Because I think a willful decision to ignore such issues says a lot more than having liked a franchise that quite honestly no one could escape from in the 2010s.

And of course, fuck JKR.

#anti jkr #fuck jkr #anti harry potter

[charmanderxerneas]

can people get it thru their heads that you can like fnaf while hating scott cawthon? Imo its not fucking immoral to like fnaf like it is with harry potter or some shit

Like. Yes scott is a republican who gets money from fnaf, thats not good that money is going to republican candidates

but first of all like. theres no such thing as ethical consumption under capitalism (as much as i hate it: i assume at least some of my money is going to republicans from buying at certain stores or restaurants or something). You cannot exist without at least SOME of your money going towards that, it sucks.

and he at least claims to love all his fans regardless of gender or race or sexuality (does not excuse his donations or mean hes a good person) but at least its better than like. jkr who has antisemitic and racism BAKED into her series lore and who actively spouts anti trans hatespeech. if you play fnaf at freddys its not like. shoving republican ideas down your throat. and hes letting steel wool and just other people in general the series now, stepping down from it (though of course hes still behind the scenes, his story so his lore goes).

i just. ugh you can like something flawed with a flawed creator 😭 its okay. its not as bad as something awful like harry potter and theres usually Some flaw behind every creator yknow? all that said i dont like scott. dont get me wrong, im not defending him. i Dont Like Scott. but grahhh makes me mad that i cant enjoy fnaf in peace without people crying at me about it

(i am trans dont fucking come at me about that shit. i just needed to rant)

[thedrarrylibrarian]

Several people have been kind enough to let me publish their thoughts on fandom, community, and queerness to celebrate Pride in the Library. Today's piece comes from @wolfpants.

Dear readers, dreamers, and purveyors of the glittering, gilded aisles of the Drarry Library,

Fandom life began for me at age fifteen. We just got our first family computer, taking pride of place in the utility room between the boiler and my dad’s boxes of tools. I had recently come out as bisexual to my friends at school, who, props to them, had all taken it quite well despite the small town we grew up in (I was very lucky, they were great - everyone else though? Not so much). Still, even with supportive friends offline, I never felt like I could talk to them about what I really enjoyed: watching Buffy, reading Harry Potter and looking for queer subtext (I could never have convinced any of them that Harry’s story screams gay allegory–no matter what JKR has to say on the topic back then or now), scouring bookshops and libraries for any sort of queer content I could get my hands on, desperate as I was to read something that spoke to me, to read about love outside of the heteronormative landscape of the popular media. I wasn’t just tired of boy-meets-girl; I had never identified with it in the first place.

The year we got dial-up internet was the year I discovered Livejournal. The absolute joy I felt, stumbling upon an LJ community specifically dedicated to roleplaying Harry Potter characters in queer pairings. Discovering, beyond that, that people wrote stories about Harry and my other favourite queer-coded character of the series: Draco Malfoy. And then it was Wolfstar (specifically Sirius), then Drarry again, and somewhere along the way my lurking fell off and I stopped reading fic for a while when I moved to London and settled into my first job, my first real relationship, and sitting uncomfortably atop my bisexual identity and not really knowing where that shift happened and why. All the while, I was pursuing a writing career on the more journalistic side: writing for music and film outlets, doing a little bit of secret creative writing on the side, dipping in and out of HP RPGs but never really—connecting. In “real life”, my relationship with my ex was falling apart, and I felt very disconnected from the LGBTQIA+ community because, even though I knew I belonged, I never felt like I could be truly me with anyone—perhaps because I was, unknowingly, still discovering who I really was.

When the pandemic happened, it gave me the breathing space I needed to get to that point. It brought me back to fandom.

It started with reading The Popular Wolfstar Fic Everyone Was Reading, and reopening my ao3 account to re-read some old favourites from over the years. It then unrolled to, hey, I have some free time, why don’t I try writing my own Wolfstar fic for my oldest, dearest friend (who I met RPing on LJ at 15!), which then turned into: you should publish this, and see what happens.

So, I did. And I made a tumblr account, and I lurked for a while, shyly reblogging things and scrolling through author accounts I’d admired from a very young age, astonished and really fucking impressed that they were still in the game. I read their new fics, I was drawn back into Drarry, and from there I discovered what a wonderful community this is, not only for its immensely talented creatives, but for its values as a inclusive, equitable, supportive, uplifting, and joyful group of individuals who genuinely welcome everyone with open arms and love. That, in itself, has made it easy to reach out to like-minded folks here, to make life-long friends, to chat to people who have been through similar experiences in questioning their identities (it is truly thanks to this fandom and the many discussions I’ve had with people here that I’ve been able to realise my identity as a NB lesbian). To write! To share! To not be ashamed of my kinks and to discover fun, delicious rare pairs! To look at breathtaking art and read some of the best goddamn writing I’ve ever set eyes on!

I have spent thirty-seven years on this planet. A good chunk of that time has been spent questioning many parts, pieces, and niggly jiggly bits of my identity. Who am I? What am I? Is there anyone out there who is just like me?

After many years of searching in the dark, of asking these questions over and over, I can joyously say that the answer is: yes. And oh, how thankful I am for that, for all of you, because fandom has really been the community I can categorically point to and say: they did that for me, we did that for we, and I will do anything for you.

Happy pride.

Thank you, Wolf, for joining me in the Library. Your love and joy for fandom have left me feeling quite tender-hearted, in the best way. It's so so good to ask the question "Is there anyone out there who is just like me?" and find over and over that the answer chorusing back is "yes." Thank you for adding your yes to our chorus, and joining me for Pride in the Library.

If you want more @wolfpants be sure to check out their work on AO3! I can't help but recommend the fic that made me fall in love with her writing in the first place, Pages of You, which I've featured previously for Happy Hour. It's got Drarry and Wolfstar, and is one of my favorite comfort rereads.

🏳️‍🌈 Lots of Love and Happy Pride! 🏳️‍🌈

#pride 2023 #pride in the library #pride in the library 2023 #lots of love and happy pride #friends of the library #fandom community #wolfpants

[maximilff]

tagged by @laurabenanti to list my top 9 books

the song of achilles by madeline miller book of all time

the seven husbands of evelyn hugo by taylor jenkins reid (my current read!)

life or death by michael robotham

the harry potter series (prisoner of azkaban is my fav. fuck jkr but like god those books are good)

the hunger games trilogy by suzanne collins

they both die at the end + the first to die at the end by adam silvera (they can't be separated 🥺)

the perks of being a wallflower by stephen chbosky

the pendragon series by d.j. machale (nostalgic series from high school that i just finished. i think books 2 and 7 were my favs)

the hobbit by j.r.r. tolkien

tagging @sophiedevreaux @stardreamt @evelyns @henwilsons @morozovamaximoff

#took all of my self control to not include poetry books but that would be. a different list #also worth mentioning that next on my to read list is percy jackson and lotr and i think those would be on here if i had read them already #anyway thanks for tagging me cat ily #tag game

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Do you think there's a way to keep House Elves in the Harry Potter series without the whole... slavery thing?

Like, make it so they House Elves are like Brownies from British folklore. They like wizards and they like helping them out, but it's clear they can leave whenever they want and if you insult or abuse them they can make you regret it.

It's just the Pureblood families like the Malfoys or Blacks that have found a way to exploit their House Elves but they keep it under wraps so no one else knows about it.

I mean, there's "mysterious things that help you out and you leave milk for them and shit, and you never really see them, and they may or may not do the odd household chores when you're not looking" and there's "live in visible servants who have to follow your every command and aren't given clothes to wear and physically punish themselves if they fail orders because of weird binding contracts".

JKR could have had brownies but those are very different than what she described and what she clearly wanted in her books. (This isn't the first time of this, JKR is dead set on the basilisk being a snake instead of, you know, a rooster-dragon-toad-snake thing, we missed some real chances for Harry to hear mysterious clucking noises from inside the pipes).

As it is, if she did what you describe, then the plot JKR would want to talk about (Harry derp) would get derailed by "oh my god we have to do things about the house elves" which is admittedly what happens in book 4, and Hermione is told to shut the fuck up and sit down already.

JKR clearly wanted house elves to be what they're depicted as, have them as major plot elements in the way she had, but never actually do anything to address this giant societal problem or even admit it is a problem beyond "Dobby died a free elf" (as Dobby dies in a conflict that has nothing to do with him).

I just don't see how we could have a non-problematic house elf plotline. You guys are just going to have to let Dobby go.

#harry potter #harry potter meta #harry potter headcnaon #house elves #anti house elves #meta #headcanon #opinion