#for legal reasons I am sorry not sorry

[wonkyradio]

Made myself a discord icon

Edit: Please do not use this for yourself without permission

#lawrence gordon #saw franchise #sawposting #saw #saw 2004 #my art #I'm working on more silent hill stuff promise. just. for personal reasons. #i am legally contractually obligated to post saw. sorry #the unending burden of being a lawrence gordon who didnt fuck up disasterously

[incorrect-riordanverse]

im literally shaking and shitting tears right now

#/j for legal reasons #but seriously i am so excited #hashtag guys we have a title to the story now #🤞👀‼️ #im sorry im so late i just found out literally just now what #riordanverse #incorrect riordanverse #rick riordan #mark oshiro #will solace #nico di angelo #solangelo #heroes of olympus #hoo #percy jackson #pjo #toa #trials of apollo #solangelo book #the sun and the star #tsats

[yooils]

lightweight . drunk!isagi x reader. fluff. accidental proposal. short blurb + extremely forced plot.

— ISAGI YOICHI is a lightweight.

it’s a truth acknowledged by everyone close with him, really, with the way he begins his flowery proses after a drink or two– followed by a gradual descent to an emotional wreck; usually accompanied with an abundance of impulsive decisions and a self depreciating monologue of his life.

but in spite of that, he knows how to handle himself 90% of the time. (the remaining 10% is left unmentioned by all, regardless of the copious amounts of black-mail material some of his teammates possess.)

so naturally, the first time you see yoichi have an emotional breakdown in public is during a team get-together! he’s half on his knees with an abnormally flushed complexion; his eyes are starting to water from the reverie he’s found himself in, and his throat is constricted with hiccups. you've been so-called paged by his colleagues– only to find that the emergency they had mentioned afore to be your drunk boyfriend.

“i just want you to know that i love you.” is the first thing that comes out of isagi's mouth when he catches sight of you entering the bar his team had booked for the night.

the collective wolf whistles from his teammates would have portrayed the unfolding scene to be akin to an extremely romantic (read: corny) scene of a movie, if it wasn't for the uncharacteristically delirious look in your boyfriend’s eyes.

“my affections and wishes are unchanged, but one word from you will silence me on this. i just want you to know that i’m pregnant, and you’re the baby. will you marry me?”

(a few feet away, rin spits out his drink, outraged at the sheer blasphemy of one of his favourite books and movies. nagi's recording next to him, half-asleep yet still giggling at his friend's drunken antics.)

you love yoichi too, you really do– but you have to run through the list of things you love about him just to keep yourself from strangling him to the brink of unconsciousness so he stops talking.

– he's cute. he's only a little bit annoying sometimes. he does the laundry properly. he just confessed that he loved you amidst his drunken stupor even though you've never said it to each other directly before in person– and then proposed to you. and he's hot.

finally forfeiting to his boyish, drunken charms (and having had enough public humiliation for today), you find yourself and your extremely drunk boyfriend in the middle of the parking lot; with you holding him by his coat so he doesn’t escape, and him squirming around with airy sounds of discomfort which you had opted to ignore.

isagi’s leaning in close, breath reeking of alcohol and hands fumbling with his seatbelt clumsily.

“psst.. don’t tell anyone, but i’m gonna marry you one day.”

the pause in the car is deafening.

you furrow your eyebrows. he obliviously leans his cheek against the car window, unbothered by the sheer weight that his words had carried.

“wait, you don’t want other people to find out that you’re going to propose to me, so you tell the person you’re actually proposing to?”

his drunk gasp speaks volumes to you. “oh no, did i say that out loud? am i being kidnapped? where am i? is the world finally ending? but i still haven’t told (name) that i loved them…”

(okay, maybe he’s a little more stupid when he’s drunk, but you’ve grown to become a believer in the concept that drunken words are sober thoughts in the last hour. you hope.)

isagi’s eyes melt into something akin pools of sapphire stones under the lamppost-lit light. it’s been your favourite colour from the moment you met him.

“yoichi, why are you sniffing me?”

you amusedly ask, finding minor entertainment in his actions.

he’s half slumped on you by the time you stop the car by his apartment– and you realise that there’s no way of getting out of your vehicle without damaging 1.) your spine 2.) your arms and 3.) his dignity. (which really is already ruined, objectively, from the amount of second-hand embarrassment you’ve faced tonight.

“don’t wanna leave you.. smells like home..” he almost-incoherently mumbles, and you impulsively have half a mind to keep him forever-intoxicated because of how cute, despite tedious he’s become.

as a relatively simple man, isagi has always been subjected to a desire for more; especially when it came to football.

(but you, he thinks, will always be more than enough for him. and he hopes he’s enough for you too, even in his drunken haze, because he doesn’t want to let you out of his grasps for even a second).

the way you stroke his hair has his mind collapsing into a puddle of melted goo even in the air-conditioned car. you’ve rewritten his brain chemistry to make yourself the only pearl in his universe composed of mostly football, and in every life, he would let you break his heart over and over again.

once you realise that he's stopped his drunken ramblings and fumbling, the panic finally kicks in.

"yoichi, are you sleeping? we're still in the car park! i can't get out with you laid on me!"

(the next morning, he apologises after a much needed hangover pill and a reminder of what happened last night, sent to him in the form of a video by nagi.

you don't tell him that you've already seen the ring in his sock drawer.)

8.12.23

#blue lock #bllk fluff #blue lock fluff #blue lock x reader #bllk angst #isagi fluff #isagi imagines #bllk crack #blue lock crack #blue lock imagines #isagi x reader #for legal reasons i will not add an angst ending bout it being a fever dream #hallucinated by isagi #because you died from driving him home #i am so sorry for all the jane austen refernces #log– works

[maskednerd]

Guys. Belos x Papa Titan canon. Belos has the Titan's Heart.

#IM SORRY #...or am I? #for legal reasons this is a joke #emperor belos #papa titan #belpapa #the owl house #toh

[honeysbunchesofoats]

WREAK havoc. not reek. reek havoc implies that your stink is so wild that it causes chaos among all those around you

#for legal reasons this is silly. i am not the word supreme court #sorry but it makes me laugh every time #but u do u #have fun #words #english #languages #honey rambles

[dragon-spaghetti]

How am I meant to sound professional in emails when Stolas and his gay yearning exist

#drag rambles #helluva boss #@ all the patient charts I need to sort sorry but the sad bird has caught all my attention 😭 #(for legal reasons I am JOKING I'm doing my job and crying over the owl At The Same Time)

[toasteaa]

😅 and 🫂 PLEASE !

Pining stage asks💙

😅 did anyone ever mistake you two for a couple? how did you both react?

Who HASN'T mistaken Eclair and Neuvillette for a couple, let's be real. The gestionnaires (most of them), the Melusines; hell, their Archon has mistaken them for being a couple before. But it's subtle. Indirect. A little cloud of gossip about them when they're not around. It's not THE talk of the nation, just a bit of afternoon gossip fodder for the gestionnaires since they're the ones that see Eclair and Neuvillette the most.

But being mistaken for a couple directly? Having someone, perhaps a sweet mannered old woman, call them a lovely couple while on post work evening stroll?

Eclair is shocked, to say the least. Schools her expression in almost immediately and tries to think of a response. Everyone in Fontaine knows Neuvillette. Everyone knows Neuvillette does not get into relationships. He doesn't even say he has friends. But...she's silently flattered that they were mistaken for a couple. It flutters around quietly in her chest and slowly brings some color to her cheeks. A feeling that she's also silently stamping back into place because she is not in a relationship with Neuvillette. Even though the thought is extremely nice.

Even if she tries to deny it, she's not able to get it out once the old woman takes Eclair’s hands in hers; showering her with those same sweet comments little old ladies she's helped before always seem to give her. Only now it's peppered in-between stories of never having seen the Iudex as much as she has these past few years and how much happier and more relaxed he seems now.

"Th-thank you, mémé;" stammering? The detective that can stare a gun down its barrel without flinching is stammering at the thought of being mistaken for Neuvillette's partner? "But the Chief Justice and I simply work together. We aren't a couple."

But it's like she's said nothing at all. The old woman just smiles warmly. Knowingly. You can't lie to grandma, don't you know?

Neuvillette's reaction on the other hand, could be considered a non-reaction to most. But that's because he goes to his mind first. Wonders what they see that could warrant such a reaction. From what he knows, humans only say these kind of things after seeing a romantic interaction between two people. In that case, have his advances been noticeable? Has Eclair accepted them in some way that he's missing? He would like to be sure before making any assumptions, but finding time to ask Eclair in between the times where they're both busy and inundated with work is...difficult.

"I'm sorry for the misunderstanding, but any relationship I have with Detective Dumont is professional and entirely work related. She is my coworker, first and foremost, and a...colleague." It's not a lie, but it's not necessarily the entire truth. But...well, if there's anything he's learned, it's that sometimes withholding parts of the truth is necessary. For others and for himself.

🫂 what's one significant moment of physical contact you had during the pining stage?

Oh...there's something to be said about Neuvillette and, well, anything physical. He seems untouchable because he is untouchable. As the Chief Justice, there is an image of unobtainability about him. As a being that has persisted for 500 years, he holds a certain unknowability in his hands. No one can get close to Neuvillette because no one really knows Neuvillette. Whether that's because they haven't really tried to get to know him or because he is the Iudex. And they see him exclusively as the Iudex. Of course, he has put up boundaries between himself and others as well; justifying it as being a necessary and needed barrier in order for him to remain a stalwart servant to the will of his Nation.

That, however, has not made his existence any less...lonely.

Nevertheless, Neuvillette has a station to maintain and cannot allow idle thoughts of melancholy to seep in whilst he's in the middle of his work. A trial will not be held at bay while he wrangles in his rarely expressed emotions, struggles frustratingly to find the correct files that were misplaced days ago, and -

And Eclair is there. Her hand careful and grounding against his. He hadn't heard her come in, far too busy rushing to have his attention split. And the file...it's there, in her other hand. He hadn't misplaced the file; there were extra reports that she was finishing. He knew this. She says as much, but he isn't listening. He only...feels. Feels the reassurance of her tone, the lilt of it bringing a kind of...peace to him. Her hand has moved away from his, but he can still feel the weight of it. The warmth of it. She's still speaking, but her touch has moved - adjusting his robes lightly where they've creased, straightening his jabot and making sure it's pinned neatly, before smoothing down the panels of his mantle against his chest. It's an...odd feeling. An action he's observed being done, but never had it done to himself. Never imagined it would be done to him. No one gets this close to him. He doesn't let anyone get this close to him. And yet...this touch is not unwelcomed. No, it's...it's calming. Soothing. Grounding.

Is this what the touch of another person feels like?

She's looking at him, he realizes, with that critical eye. Searching for something like she always is. He wonders, vaguely, what she sees. Notices the gleam of something...softer in her gaze. He wishes he knew what it was. He wishes he could understand why her hand against his chest has done this to him. Made the flow of Hydro swirl beneath his skin. Made his senses a little sharper. Yet the only thing he can do is thank her for her assistance. Feel something within him stir again at her smile. And want to -

The hour's chime breaks the bubble of reverie; he will be late if he does not leave immediately. The Iudex is never late to a trial. Another brief (yet appreciative) thanks before he's excusing himself and striding out of his office. The station of the Iudex is one that must be meticulously maintained. And yet...

He cannot help but feel the lingering weight of Eclair's touch and distantly wonder if he would ever allow himself to feel it so intimately again.

#toast talks #ask game #genshin impacted #oc tag: Eclair Dumont #Toast make an answer a reasonable length challenge: impossible #Wriothesley called Eclair Neuvillette's work wife ONCE and I think that interaction is the most confused Neuvillette's ever been. #'My relationship with the detective is not legally binding.' 'Oh? But you are in a relationship with her? 🤨' #Give him a break he's OLD. He doesn't understand work wife work husband jargon. Now he's just confused and yearning. #Also...I genuinely couldn't pick a favorite physical contact moment because there are *so many* #Neuvillette experiences physical affection for once and is immediately craving it once it's gone. #Will he say anything about it? Nope. #Will he eventually return the sentiment? You'll have to wait and see (the answer is yes -) #Jesus fucking christ these answers are long I'm SORRY I have ADD and I take adderall :( #I STARTED writing the answer to the first one at work btw. These took me all day to answer and I am only slightly ashamed -

[crispycreambacon]

do you the silly the do YIPPEE

GIF ID: an animation of the autism/TBH creature blinking. The eyes close separately /End ID

#yeas I do do the silly the yippee :3 #sorry this took me a while to answer 😭 #school just started for me and I wanna o+< #<- not die. I just wanna lie down and not go to school for a bit longer y'know #btw creature #adhd creature #For legal reasons: I am not diagnosed with ADHD but I strongly suspect myself of having it #0wlzcr4ft #chris p fried answers #chris p fried art #tumblr asks #asks

[simmyfrobby]

― to: judas iscariot, thérèse naccarato.

Hockey Poetry Post 20/?

(Media: The Kiss of Judas by Giotto, Adam Glanzman, Kiss of Judas by the Master Trecentesco of Sacro Specol, photo credit nowhere to be found but here is the link)

Inspired by this video. Judas/Brad & Jesus/Bergy rant can be found here.

#for legal reasons and for the sake of my immortal soul this is #1. a joke #2. entirely brad marchands fault #you can't??? tell me your friend is??? above Jesus??? and expect me?? to be able to deal with that?? like a normal person??? #I am NOT sorry but I AM embarrassed #and also this poem is pretty cool #They say that divinity cannot be touched #but you remember the way his shoulder felt against yours. the soft hum of his laughter reverberating through your skin #tw: blasphemy #brad marchand #patrice bergeron #hockey poetry posts #boston bruins #judas tag

[moregraceful]

accidentally invented a new form of no bedtime called 11pm glass of emergency-c + 4pm latte + 8pm cup of black tea + 9pm cup of black tea

#the real question is can i go to church on less than 5 hours of sleep and still function lol #i unlocked my instagram bc church wouldn't stop tagging me to direct people to me for stuff but that meant i had to delete a bunch of pho #tos AND rewrite a bunch of captions for photos i didn't WANT to delete bc i was too mean to random sharks prospects #which is fine if it is u know the anonymity of tumblr but not public instagram where my church won't stop FULL NAMING AND TAGGING ME #''anonymity of tumblr'' i doxx myself on here like 80 times a day in front of more people than i went to college with #anyway my point is i was going through deleting all evidence of politics pens fandom and legal documents and i was like damn #my attitude towards my team SUCKS. i gotta be way less of a hater!!! #what did my prospects ever do wrong besides everything NOTHING. the system is BROKEN. i am sorry i will be so much nicer guys :( #also if u really want to be humbled. scrolling back to 2012 on your instagram and re-experiencing senior year of college. BAD #i've deleted i think everything that would reasonably get our nonprofit status pulled but what a horrific journey it was #two full hockey intermission periods of deleting shit plus another hour at home doing several more passes and then rewriting captions #so that some poor 21 year old prospect randomly searching their name doesn't see me full ass call their teammate cringe #their teammate IS cringe. but i love him. but the nuances are lost on instagram people don't understand these things they take everything #at face value #don't know why i just assigned shakir mukhamadullin they/them pronouns #i think i need to go lie in bed with a blanket over my head until i suffocate #this ALWAYS happens i get too hype about mackenzie blackwood and start listening to selena gomez and then it's like almost 3am and i'm just #fresno oilers.txt #oh and. a friend sent me screenshots of the girl she's been flirting with on a dating app and they are SOOOOO cute #i hope they make a good run of it i really do bc it was SO cute. living vicariously through episcopalian lesbians as one does #but then i was trying to figure out how to edit my dating app profile to dissuade chasers but still honeytrap guys who are tall enough #or athletic enough to pick the tangerines at the top of the tangerine tree. bc i couldn't reach this week #but there were still like god maybe 150 tangerines on the tree. i was like this could be feeding people but i'm TOO SHORT #and my life will be like this. FOREVER #icb the future of this garden is so psychologically burdensome that i'm having to build it into a dating app profile lol #well now that i'd treated this entire tag set as twitter for and hour and a half #time to go try to lie in bed and stare at the ceiling and then wake up in [checks notes] four hours

[charles-leclerc-official]

https://twitter.com/Charles_Leclerc/status/1792671032844943424

can't believe this is real when I first saw it. i though it was a meme made by some fans but charles? okay i remembered that you mentioned before that you prefer three children for your own future family. so now olie, leo, and oscar? we get another update of the f1 family tree.

My Ferrari driver did not just offer to adopt a mclaren driver. I am going to pretend I didn't see that.

#Unless this is part of the Ferrari scheme to take down mclaren from the inside I am not having it #We are too far into the season for me to be normal I'm sorry #for legal reasons this is a joke #and for Tifosi reasons this is absolutely not a joke

[coentinim]

I hate this logic that a lot of blogs (nsfw, ed or just regular) would block me now but not in a month and 2 weeks because I will turn 18. Don't get the wrong idea, I don't want to interact with those who post porn gifs or encourage others to not eat. I just hate the hypocrisy. Just how much will I mature in this one month? Will it be enough to start roleplaying violent porn scenarios or getting fat shamed by mutuals?

#SORRY this is NOT a call out post I'm just thinking thoughts about the illusion of maturity IDK #but i saw a post like 'minors dni i don't wanna corrupt you little babies' do you hear yourself. #i'm not talking about legality btw #the moral gymnastics this requires. like i understand there has to be some boundary and 18 is a reasonable one #but no i am not going to transform from a 6 year old into a fully responsible and mature adult once i hit 18.

[doodlebloo]

I believe it was Tumblr user Farfran that in 2021 said Poor Grammar is a c!clingyduo song. And well that changed me for ever

#like OBviously I Cant Handle Change and Christmas Kids are SOOO cClingy. but Poor Grammar is also so so them man. #ROAR belongs to cclingy and has since long before tiktok found it ❤️ #for! legal reasons i am making a joke. ROAR fans if you somehow find this im sorry #doodle.txt

[is-casually-a-skeleton]

Guys holy FUCK I can’t believe I’m saying this but Nimona might beat Wolfwalkers as my Favorite movie, Wolfwalkers is pure art that deserves to be praised for all of time but Nimona hits like a rino in every way you would want it to and I just- holy shit I just need a minute man.

#nimona #Holy shit guys Nimona fucking owns #I don’t know if it’s objectively better but I don’t care #still not paying for Netflix until that password sharing shit is reversed tho #for legal reasons I’m going to say that I managed to watch it through other very legal and official means #this changes nothing Netflix your nothing but a legal middle man between us and this masterpiece #it is 3:16 am and I have work at nine no regrets #sorry Wolfwalkers #wolfwalkers

[gynecologistmsfrizzle]

“what to tell a doctor to get an autism diagnosis” “here’s what i learned from realizing i was autistic at 40″ “i would never want a professional diagnosis” “person first language is so regressive” “autism symptoms are only a problem because of ableism” “we dont need treatment” “no autistic person wants a cure” “four doctors told me i couldn’t be autistic so i found a fifth” “autism is an invisible disability” “dont disclose your neurodivergency to employers” “i/dd and autism have nothing to do with each other” “nt parents/advocates have no place in autism communities” “of course im autistic have you heard me talk about horror movies” babe i have nothing in common with any of you

#completely insane that i will go on autism twitter and somehow i am ''low functioning'' compared to the rest of the people on there. #what are you TALKING about. dont disclose your ''neurodivergency'' to your doctors?? autism is an invisible disability? #we live on different planets. like i think we live on different planets. #sorry but i am twenty two years old and my mother has a fippa exemption to access all my medical info bc if she did not #i would not be able to access healthcare. #the only reason i can live away from home is because i have a cell phone and internet and can keep in touch w family. #my legal government address is my father's house where i have not lived for seven years #because if an important document gets sent to my apartment i will lose it or forget about it and i know this because it's happened. #like ... yeah ! autism IS a spectrum ! and you are not doing such a good job recognizing and supporting people who are #in very different places on that spectrum than you ! #it is. i mean it's kind of a form of hermeneutical injustice to argue that there is no meaningful difference between various groups #of autistic people #like yeah functioning labels suck ASS. also you DO need to be able to identify that there ARE people who need more support #because if you can't name that then you are going to forget that they exist #and i see that all the time. it's aspie supremacy by another name #by erasing people who did not have the privilege of self-diagnosing #who do not have the privilege not to disclose #who do not have the privilege of independent self-advocacy #you are going to end up achieving the same thing that actively dismissing those people achieves #like. i dunno. like i said it's completely bonkers in yonkers that EYE and the UNIVERSITY DEGREE EYE WILL BE GETTING IN TWO MONTHS #and my LEASE and my RESPECTABLE RESUME and my INCOMING SOCIAL WORK LICENSE #feel alienated by the default presumptions the ''autistic community'' seems to operate from about how autistic people function #like jfc if i feel erased and unwelcome then how are you EVER going to make your community accessible and helpful #to people who need miles more support than i do?? #rhi talks #autie tag

[betweenlands]

i don’t know what the fuck is going on. why don’t you all go watch ivorycello or legundo’s 100 days multiverse or vikingpilot’s dominion smp series (including the monologue after s1e6) or yourpalross’s redstoner or kakujo’s horizons / magic world or inro’s secret rivals and then maybe you’ll calm down

#for legal reasons this is a joke do NOT come after us #genuinely really sorry your guys's finale sucked though! i'm sorry about that! #the only thing worse than no conclusion is an actively bad one and i'm sorry that happened! #that said: i have a responsibility to shill if everyone else on the dash is also doing it #also helpful series notes for those actually taking recs: #the 100dmv playlist is in reverse order for some reason #redstoner DOES have some old shitheads in there but they don't make any money off the series as it's fan archived #both redstoner and kakujo's series were made in OLD mcyt era so they may have some outdated humor #and finally -- read the comments in horizons starting at ep17 so you can see ed's diary #(and also the comments on the first and last episodes of magic world for the same reason) #OKAY that's my shilling done now i have to tag this (i am NOT maintagging this) #(except one bc my tag for that is just the series tag. oops fuck) #yt #txt #orig #misc #ictv #dominioners #redstoner #kj #secret rivals