#from it

[apollo-cackling]

*spends a bunch of time reading a bunch of book blogs on here due to extreme boredom* huh I have a sudden desire to read all the lesbian space atrocities books for some reason. wonder why

#having a bit of trouble with ninefox gambit rn idk why it's like the prose is sliding against my brain and I can't absorb any information #from it #could just be that the way the author writes doesn't jive with my brain for some reason - this one short story of his did that too #/I'm just tired #gonna give it two more chapters and then see ig #although the next one I have queued up is htn so. mn #my rambles #books

[misty-missdee]

Saw a bug today.

#this was right outside my front door #i just got home from a pretty important convo #if you catch my drift #this friend was waiting to greet me #thank you friend #the convo went well #if youre wondering #im just exhausted #from it #im a crybaby you see

[flergblerg]

Honestly I was never team Ben with Devi because they both have a lot of growing up to do and then together is just kind of bad schema chemistry.

Ben is the type of guy who simultaneously has a superiority AND inferiority complex because he’s good at school but that’s all he thinks he has (along with his parents wealth) and he thinks that girls don’t like him because there’s hotter guys around and they just don’t like “nerds” but in reality it’s because he acts like an asshole to them as a front bc they can’t deal with their emotions. But you are meant to feel bad for him simply because he’s not that good at socializing with his peers and the girl he likes got with the conventionally hot popular guy, but in reality that guy was genuinely way nicer than him.

Ben strikes me as the same type of guy who thinks that they will get “success revenge” over everyone they knew in high school that ignored them over not being popular or seen as hot, but in reality if they just let themselves get over their one sided bitterness of their almost own self-imposed loneliness, they might have made some genuine friends.

Ben is genuinely nice and sweet at his core, but he really got the wrong idea of the real reason on why he doesn’t have a ton of friends at school

To be totally real with you, he has all the makings of a guy who should be super popular in school with his wealthy dad, nice house, top grades and conventional “popular guy” makings, but he just seems bitter that he has what seems like everything but he is still lonely because of the way he was so tunnel-visioned about school which is not a bad thing but also the idea that he just unfortunately doesn’t fit in with his peers.

Plus the writers CLEARLY forced a character assassination onto Paxton in order to make Ben the more desirable (and now the only) viable option

#nhie #never have i ever #Netflix #I have met ‘Ben’s’ irl and the truth is they will always have an inferiority complex about not being cool in school and can’t move on #from it #some of them unfortunately never developed the social skills needed from that isolation at a young age and by the time you’re an adult thats #not a valid excuse to be an asshole and treat people badly

[wanderingmind867]

I feel like I'm again in that awful space between hyperfixations. Because I do feel like I'm getting bored of the whole politics hyperfixation, but I also don't really know if I have any way to get rid of it. It's still an awful feeling. Nevermind the fact that it's dark and cloudy where I am. And if there's one type of weather that messes with me, it's rain and/or dark clouds.

Speaking of which, this post here just inspired me to make another post about how the loss of my old tablet may have ruined my ability to seamlessly find new hyperfixations. So I'm going to start working on that post now.

#autism #neurodivergent #autistic #actually autistic #vent #bored #adhd #audhd #boredom #I hate this weather #I'm probably going to get a headache #from it #asd

[goatmace]

ENTIRE BLOG TW FOR SEXUAL AND EMOTIONAL ABUSE, SELF HARM, ETC. THESE STORIES ARE NOT FOR YOUR SEXUAL GRATIFICATION. PLEASE DO NOT MISUSE THEM.

THESIS

Lolita culture has ruined my life. My views on love, sex, self worth, and relationships have been irreparably damaged and every day, I try to unlearn all of it while trying not to hurt.

After engaging with and romanticizing the source material at 15, I allowed several men to take advantage of my body, because I was under the impression that by doing this, I would gain a protective and loving adult figure in my life, which did not happen. These men just wanted to take advantage of my body and didn’t care whether their actions or words inflicted emotional damage upon me.

I know it’s not “my fault”, and I was groomed by hetero-patriarchal sensibilities that have been established long before I was born, but it feels so hard not to take responsibility. It’s the only power I can exercise after so many years of looking back on these memories and feeling horrified. I feel like I should have been smarter, and looking back on my past writings, it seemed like I knew that the men I pursued didn’t have my best interests in mind, but I was willing to expose myself to violence and abuse because I was lonely and I wanted to escape from my life which was so painful.

I guess this is my long winded way of saying this blog is dedicated to the writings of someone who was tricked into thinking that a relationship with an older man would be attainable, healing, and supportive. The stories I wrote from 2019 up until recently display not only the emotional turmoil of my early twenties, but my attitudes towards sexual relationships and men in general. Fanfiction has always provided me with an arena to safely play out dangerous situations in which I could exercise my self defense, when in real life, I had no confidence to protect myself at all. I could also be vulnerable and express emotions I had no other outlet for.

These stories are currently unfinished and will remain unfinished, as I don’t share the mindset of the version of me who created them.

I’m sorry if no one else finds this interesting, and I certainly don’t mean to preach. If this is something you are going through, I won’t try to talk you out of pursuing those relationships, because many people tried to talk me out of it and I ignored them all. I just hope maybe you can extract something from this that you can relate to, and hopefully find some inner peace. It’s better to be alone than in bad company.

#by ‘lolita’ i mean the pedophilic romanticization of the book and movies by people like lana del rey and other works that take inspiration #from it #not the japanese fashion #award for most run on sentences #blog thesis

[variantoutcast]

Unrelated to climate activism and related to my personal life I am feeling a very unamable type of anguish today and I don't like where it's taking me or where it came from

#i need to kiss my partner. i need to run through the night with my best friend. i need to hold so tight to the earth or ill cut myself away #from it #i need to go to bed #i miss my friends. i miss soph

[neverfruit]

Catering order this morning. Three hours of working on it. They got a 200 dollar discount because it's for teachers day and they didn't tip. At all. I worked for three hours straight making their very annoying requests and no tip? Nothing

#evil!! honestly my boss was also mad about it because it seemed rude and her and i workwd for three hours on this and we dont get nothing #from it

[uglyduskling]

#cryptid #envtuber #vtubers of tumblr #indie vtuber #vtuber #vtuberen #youtube #youtube video #dusty cryptid #bear with me #pedantic #semantics #i'm just being insufferable #i don't even know why i noticed this #or felt the need to make a #youtube shorts #from it #but here we are

[reviiyu]

i’ve been back on tumblr for over an hour and honestly this so much comforter then twitter.

#I can follow and like people sharing the same hyperfixations #as me without any followers see #ing this is a game changer #i've had yu gi oh arc b brain rot for 3 weeks and have been deprived of content for it because I didn't want to spam my followers with likes #from it #same with kh #now I can just follow all of my cringe yugioh blogs and kingdom hearts blogs without it mattering #and also post art to whatever fandom because there's no fucked algorithm that will hide my stuff just for posting something different #and it doesn't matter if any of you forgot that I existed just because i didn't post for a month #absolutely pog #hellsite is good actually #txt.

[timegears-moved]

having a normal one about food lately

#bwark #i didn't post it on this blog but i recently had a nightmare about being forced to eat something i didn't want and i was really distressed #from it #that combined with everything else is. something lol #anyway im getting referred to seeing a diet specialist to hopefully help me sort some of my shit out

[jordanbolton]

To The Substitute Art Teacher - Jordan Bolton

Pre-order my new book ‘Blue Sky Through the Window of a Moving Car’ here - https://smarturl.it/BlueSky

#jordan bolton #scenes from imagined films #illustration #art #graphic design #comix #comic #jordanbolton #poetry #comics #letters to strangers

[cafffine]

woke up this morning, rolled over, and very confidently tried to blow out my alarm clock like a candle. absolutely no precedent for that.

#muscle memory from another dimension #double shot

[liliotl]

who can relate

#art #artwork #my art #digital art #oc #animation meme #fandoms #funny memes #meme #relatable memes #relatable #splatoon #splatoon echo onslaught #furry #fury art #the song is echo onslaught from splatoon #possum #fursona

[knifefightscene]

#this is so funny to me #from textpost u came to textpost u shall return #7

[seasonofprophecy]

Hey everyone, please consider buying the 2024 itch.io Palestinian Relief Bundle- it's 373 games, game-making assets, tabletop roleplaying games, zines, and comics for a minimum of just 8 USD! They have a goal of 100,000 USD, and as of the time I'm writing this post, they have 8 more days to reach it.

Link will be in the reblog!

#itch.io #itch io #palestine #free palestine #palestinian relief bundle #messages from mars

[katabasiss]

do you guys think jesus, the son of a carpenter, smelt the wood of the cross & temporarily thought of home

#omg found this in my drafts from nov but like. for real