#fuck it maybe it's time to start a new tag...

[if-whats-new]

What's New In IF? Issue 5 (2024)

By Erika, Marjorie, Axelle, Zach and Noi

Now Available!

Itch.io - Google Drive - Keep Reading below

EDITORIAL

Starting a conversation…

With this project, we hope to start a conversation within the community. A conversation about community, and how it could be better connected through projects bringing people together.

The Interactive Fiction is a broad genre, with so many formats and systems. It is full of choices and kinetic, clickable and type-able, visual and textual, loud and quiet, classic and experimental, and available in so many languages! It is diverse…

… and fragmented. Between the language barriers, the different Forums, social media spaces, chatrooms, email chains, lurkers, and non-initiated, there is so much to explore and find. So much hidden behind because of bad search engine, forgotten tags and obscure spaces.

So we hope this project of ours helps you find other corners of the IF space, and maybe create a few bridges along the way!

We hope you enjoy this issue!

ERIKA, MARJORIE, AXELLE, ZACH, AND NOI

EVENTS

CONFERENCE

You can now register for the Narrascope! It is happening June 21-23, in hybrid. They've also released the schedule of talks!

ONGOING (VOTING)

The voting period for the Text Adventure Literacy Jam ends at the end of May. The competition is looking for beginner players!

ONGOING (SUBMITTING)

If Spanish is in your wheelhouse, the Spanish IFComp (Rayuela) is currently ongoing! You can submit a game until the end of June, with the themes Es un sólo botón and/or Conexión.

Also ongoing is the ParserComp, which are looking for parser games, both with a classic feel or a more experimental approach.

If you are looking to make a Visual Novel, the Otome Jam will be looking for entries for the next two months.

🔥 Fuck Capitalism Jam 2024 🔥 is also a fun jam to participate in, where you can submit stories critiquing capitalism (as a whole/aspects of). (We know it's not technically IF, but they took IF entries before)

There are still a week left before the end of the REALLY BAD IF JAM, hosted on itch.io, where the goal is to make bad art (IF-style).

A Visual Novel focused version is also happening at the same time, as a “Worst Ever VN“ Challenge.

Ending soon after this weekend if the Locus Jam, organized by Neo-Interactives (@neointeractives), where the restriction is focused on one space.

Another short but interesting jam, the Text-Based Game/Visual Novel Jam, is also happening for the next week over on itch.io.

ENDED

This week, the results of the Spring Thing have been announced! Congratulations to the two Best-in-Show entries and all participants!

OTHER

The Interactive Fiction Showcase is still running, with new submissions, since last week! It is happening on itch!

GAMES

NEW RELEASE

The Flesh Mechanic (Twine) is a dark horror short story. (@reachartwork)

Terminal 71 (Twine) is a short post-apocalyptic game about tragedy. (@vagrantclown)

Relative Stranger (Ren'Py) is a horror game for people with social anxiety (strong CW!).

NEW RELEASE (WIP)

Орлёнок - Eaglet (CScript) is an early 1900s Russian focused project where you are part of the disgraced Imperial family. (@himbeereule)

Popular (CScript) is a reality-show project where your goal is to become the most popular contestant to win.

Serial Date (Unity) follows Aileen, a Toronto gal in a dead-end job looking for love, and finding more than she wished for. (@lehxra-arts)

GAMES UPDATES

Knights of Venus (CScript) has almost doubled its word count, up to 37k words. (@knights-of-venus-if)

Oh Mother, Where Art Thou? (CScript) has completed its first chapter. (@ohmotherwhereartthou-if)

When Life Gives You Lemons (CScript) now includes chapter 9. (@when-life-gives-you-lemons-if)

Velocity (CScript) has added chapter 2.

Sanguine Sky (CScript) updated its demo with chapter 2 pt 2. (@sanguinesky-if)

Drink your Villain Juice (CScript) part 2 of chapter 6 is available on Patreon. (@drinkyourvillainjuice)

Just Kiss Me (CScript) completed its first chapter.

Anti-Mutant Academy (CScript) completed its chapter 5.

Such Happy Campers (CScript) now includes chapter 4.

Core Uprising (CScript) added another part to its demo.

When Cloud Waves Break (CScript) completed its third chapter in this update. (@whencloudwavesbreak-if)

Incubus (Twine) has released chapter 2. (@sonnet009games)

Stake Through a Bloody Heart (Twine) now includes chapter 4. (@lacewing-if)

OTHER

Scales of Justice (CScript) is looking for beta- testers for the completed demo.

The new Amare Fortnightly Bulletin (@amaregames) is out! Check it out here!

The Twine Gardening v2 (@twinegardening) is updating again, for those wondering how some Twine map look like.

We apologize if we missed an update or a release. We are but volunteers trying to find as much info as possible, but sometimes news pass through the cracks.

Please, let us know if something should have been added to the zine, and we will shout it out next week!

HIGHLIGHT ON...

A couple of games that we thought were cool.

Dungeons & Distractions by E. Joyce (Twine)

D&D is a fantasy short game where you lead a D&D first session with your supernatural friends. It is a fun time, until… distractions arise. Will you manage to reach the planned end of the story?

submitted by Kastel

purrgatory by Niv (@nivrad00 - Godot)

“Heartfelt and touching, this game will make you laugh then cry as you figure out how to get everyone out of purrgatory. Charming art, and lovely music, but it's the writing that shines. Plus great LGBTQ+ rep! One of the best VN's I've ever played!”

submitted by @kris-mage-fics

Repeat the Ending by Drew Cook (@golmac - Inform)

Between meta and “reality”, RtE is a deeply layered and immersive parser, about trauma, guilt, relationships and fate. It is profound and emotional. An experience. It also includes a “Story” mode (no input necessary) and extra downloadables.

recommended by [anonymous]

Your favourite game here?

Do you have a favourite game that deserve some highlighting? Tell us about it! A old or recent game that wowed you so much you want to spam it to everyone? Tell us about it!

We'll add it to the page!

FINAL WORD

Before we end this issue, we would like to thank:

@captchaluff, @elegantunknownphantom, Kastel, @kris-mage-fics, and a dozen of anonymous users!

Your shared news, helpful tips, cool links, filled form, written Sheet line, sent emails… all these little attentions toward the Zine help us so much!

We also would like to thank all of you who told us of cool recs that didn't appear this edition. We'll try out best to fit them in next week!

And a final thank to all of you who not only read our zine, but liked it, shared it with others, left a little sweet reply or dm, or even rated it on itch! Those little bits of support really help us so much!! Thank you for cheering us on this journey!

~

As a final parting word, it is less words but more of a question that we have for you:

Do you experience FOMO (fear of missing out) in the IF Community? If so, what brings FOMO for you and why? Is there a way of alleviating it?

We would really appreciate your POV!!!

See you again next week!

ERIKA, MARJORIE, AXELLE, ZACH, AND NOI

WHAT'S NEW IN IF? 2024-ISSUE 5

#interactive fiction #if news #visual novel #parser #choice of games #choicescript #twine #ink #twine games #ink games #itch.io #interactive game #interactive novel #IF #games #hobby #indie dev #choose your own adventure #if-whats-new #What's New in IF #NEW ISSUE IS OUT!!

[heartsforvenus]

supernova ⛥

robin buckley x fem reader

summary- you and robin are newfound friends, but you wish you were something more. little did you know, so did she. you were both too afraid of admitting your own feelings

tags- song fic 'red wine supernova' by chappell roan, fluff, kind of angst, 'one-sided' pining, sex references, mention of drinking, the joys of a first homoerotic friendship

lowercase intended

this is lowkey trash and all over the place, but i had the idea and thought it was cute. hope you enjoy my first fic <3

i'm in the hallway waiting for ya, mini skirt and my go-go boots

"we're gonna be late!" you exclaimed, standing outside of robin's bedroom.

you had recently befriended robin buckley, one of the band geeks of hawkins high, and somehow convinced her to go to a party thrown by tommy h. not only is she your new friend, she is also your longtime crush, but that was a secret between you and your diary.

that led you to this moment, where you were standing in the hallway outside of robin's bedroom waiting for her to get ready and contemplating your life actions. robin did say that you could stay in her room while she changed, yet you knew yourself better than that. even if you were turned around and forcing your attention on the most mundane object in her room, you were sure to die of embarrassment, thinking about her bare body standing mere feet away from you.

"would you chill out? i'm getting ready for a party i didn't even want to go to, nor was i invited to for that matter," she reminded you and you leaned your head on the wall behind you.

"half the people at those parties weren't invited, he's not gonna point out you in particular," you told her and you saw her head pop out of the door.

"i look like a fucking idiot and i can't zip up this dress. let's just not go," robin decided. your body was on autopilot when you turned the corner into her room and grabbed her arm. the touch of her soft skin against your own was almost enough to make you forget what you were even doing, as she stared at you waiting for you to say something.

"let me zip it for you." your voice came out in almost a whisper as you were still kind of stunned from the previous interaction. and don't get me wrong, the two of you have touched each other before, even held hands, but you weren't sure if you would ever get over this phase.

"fine. but don't break it. maybe i can return it after tonight," robin thought aloud, which made you frown.

i just want you to make a move, so slow down, sit down, it's new

"robin, you look... i mean, this dress... it's so nice."

you mentally facepalmed at yourself. obviously she looked beautiful. this was not the first time you chickened out on complimenting her and it surely wouldn't be the last. you were honestly just saving yourself from the inevitable embarrassment. you couldn't handle the 'i only see you as a friend' from robin, that would just be the point where you would genuinely hope the ground would swallow you whole. or that you'd get hit by a car. or that the world would end.

"thanks, you can have it if you want it. it would probably look better on you anyway," robin commented, and you could feel the all too familiar feeling of warmth rising to your face.

"no..." you shook your head. you wanted to tell her that the dress looked like it was made personally for her. it showed off all her curves in a way that wasn't too revealing, but it was just enough to catch your eye as you glanced over her body in a manner that was not as discreet as you hoped.

in an attempt to change the subject, you yet again grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her out of the room.

"let's go before all the attendees get too bored and start having sex in every room," you suggested. her lack of resistance was a shock as she willingly let you drag her out of the house.

"now, how are we even getting there? if you plan on drunk driving me home then you're even worse of an influence than i thought," robin wondered, leaning back on the hood of your car.

"i was just thinking we could walk. it's not too far from here." robin groaned at your suggestion before standing up straight.

"fine, but you can carry me on the way back," robin agreed.

i just wanna get to know ya, guess i didn't quite think it through

once the two of you made it to the party, you began drinking whatever anyone would hand you in a red solo cup. you guys were stuck inside of your own bubble, accidentally ignoring everyone around you to just speak to each other. you each spoke about your families and your deepest fears, but there was always that one thing on the tip of your tongue that you couldn't force out.

not here, you'd tell yourself, someone might hear and then everyone will know.

as if she could read your mind, robin narrowed her eyes and asked, "what's on your mind?"

"oh, it's nothing," you promised her, not realizing your dilemma was so evident on your face. or maybe she could just read you that well already.

"right... well i just told you about how i literally peed my pants a year ago, so i think we can talk about anything." her blue eyes pierced into your soul, and you so badly wanted to tell her what you were thinking about. another day.

"i was just thinking about how embarrassing it is to pee your pants," you lied and she giggled, that giggle that would've had you weak in the knees had you been standing.

"okay, you jerk, i'm sure you've done embarrassing things too." she pushed your shoulder lightly.

"not yet," you told her. she shook her head, wondering why you were such an enigma, and why it always felt like there was something you weren't telling her. for a moment you snapped out of your bubble to notice everyone around you was either making out or passed out, just as you had predicted. "maybe we should take this as our cue to leave."

this caused robin to notice her surroundings for the first time and jokingly gag, which caught the attention of one of the girls who was kissing some guy. she just glared back at her, and robin jumped up.

"yeah, let's go before this girl beats the shit out of me," robin, wide eyed, agreed. the two of you clumsily rushed out of the front door, passing more and more couples until you finally made it out into the night.

there was a breeze in the air, but it wasn't too cold. you hoped that robin wasn't cold, because you didn't bring a jacket to offer her. she hoped the same about you.

fell in love with the thought of you, now i'm choked up, face down, burnt out

now, you were laying next to her in her bed. wearing her spare pjs, literally surrounded by her scent. you couldn't sleep, because you were thinking about the girl beside you, as you often did in the middle of the night. usually in your own bed, though, so being near her was making it much worse. you had half a mind to just leave, but you didn't know if you'd ever have the opportunity to sleep in her bed ever again. you certainly wouldn't once she found out what you were, or so you thought.

you felt her shuffle closer to you, and you tensed up. she had been jerking about the bed the whole time, but you didn't expect her to unconsciously move closer to you.

god, you had it worse than you thought.

#robin buckley #robin buckley x reader #stranger things #x reader #fanfiction #fanfic #x reader fanfic #maya hawke #stranger things fic #stranger things fanfiction #robin stranger things #stranger things x reader #robin buckley fanfic #wlw #wlw fanfiction #fxf

[cositapreciosa]

I love your narcos fic so much.i read all of them and i wanna say thank you for writing so many masterpiece and sharing with us 🙏🏻🙏🏻💖💖💖can you write some short fic about Pacho Herrera x gn/reader? pls 🥺🥺🥺

Colombian gold

Pacho Herrera x gn!reader, (nothing very bad, the usual for the show) 2512 words "you have a date? how much did you pay them?" by @novelbear

a/n : thank you !! <3333 enjoy this maybe not short fic of his

As always it's the fictional, not the real deal, enjoy xx

Tagging the narcos fam @narcolini @drabbles-mc @anunhealthydoseofangst @hausofmamadas @ashlingnarcos

Pacho doesn’t really know why he is here. Sure, maybe it is Miguel's birthday party and he was invited, maybe it might also be about the bigger picture, that Miguel fucked up with the US government, fucked up with their shipments, this event a good occasion to make sure Miguel knows who he is working for. This could be a phone call, he could have sent someone else, but why keep himself away when he could come to Mexico, enjoy the drinks, the food, your company.

He likes to think he is bigger than this, those events, the gluttony of it all, bigger than the jealousy that pierces his chest when he sees you across the pool, someone’s arm wrapped around your own. This jealousy is hot, burning through his chest in a way he has never felt before. It overpowers him, but he can only watch and clap with everyone else as fireworks boom and light up the sky. He catches eyes with Miguel a few meters away from you, he is sulking, as usual. Oh, Pacho thinks, what wouldn’t he endure to get what he really wants.

He is almost grateful when he exits the chapel. The air is refreshing, he needs a new drink, and there is an extra stride in his steps when he eventually notices you, leaning against the bar, alone. He feels it again, hot, burning, tearing him apart. The cold glass counter soothes the burn as he props himself next to you.

‘’ You have a date? ‘’ He starts. ‘’ How much did you pay him? ‘’

You turn to him. There is a pink tint to your cheeks, something glossy about your lips, a few drinks perhaps, something irresistible. Your eyes shine from the lights above you, they twinkle as you recognize him.

‘’ I don’t pay for dates, I’ll let you know. I usually turn down offers. ‘’

‘’ Hmm. ‘’

Pacho knows you don’t have to pay for them. Of course, you don’t, not when the silk covering your body fits you like a glove, not when the gold wrapped around your neck makes your skin glow.

He remembers meeting you for the first time, a few steps behind Miguel at all times. Pacho didn’t know your name back then, but he noticed your sharp thinking, the clues and pieces of puzzles you picked up that others would never have seen. You were the smart one he had quickly realized, out of the bunch, those that would only follow, monkeys.

He remembers when the lines had started to blur, when his hand would press the small of your back to direct you to your seat, to his apartment. He would call you on occasion, pretexting work, shipments, and anything in between. Pacho knew you could see through it all, the small gestures, the gifts, you had to, how could you not?

Pacho hated how the Plaza could not see your potential in the same light he would. Greed and jealousy run the world, and it certainly motivated your colleagues too. He had tried to make you see through it, how little they thought of you, how you could do so much more if you left them, joined someone else, him.

‘’ I can’t. I owe Miguel everything, you know that. ‘’

‘’ Loyalty is what will get you killed, they will betray you if they have to. ‘’

‘’ You don’t know that. ‘’

‘’ Are you willing to wait and find out? ‘’

Pacho knew you weren’t, he knew there was something in you that was meant for better, greater things.

‘’ Did Miguel tell you coming to his birthday party alone was forbidden? ‘’ He continues, digging for more information.

‘’ Well, Maria sure does tell me every day how sorry she is for me that I am single. ‘’ Your eyes squint, taking him in, ‘’ But I see that you didn’t get influenced by the backhanded comments. ‘’

‘’ Well, I thought my favourite Mexican would be single for the night, that would have fixed the problem, don’t you think? ‘’

He can see the red that colours your cheeks now, a nice blush. Your eyes burn into his with intrigue.

‘’ Chapo is indeed single. I knew you liked them short and moreno. ‘’

He laughs with you on that one, maybe, he thinks, but he does like you better. More his type, more everything, addicting.

‘’ So, ‘’ the ice inside your drink clinks as you swirl the liquid around, ‘’ What brings you to this part of the world, colombiano? ‘’

‘’ You. ‘’

He could have thought this through a little bit better and made it seem like he was coming for business anyway, that this was just such a happy coincidence, but he couldn’t, not after how you had left last time. It always started like it usually did, music, wine, deep conversations over the balcony, but it also always finished the same, accusing fingers, your clothes back in your suitcase, the betrayed look on your face when he would mention how he can’t believe you are letting them walk over you once more.

There is no point in walking around it because he knows now why you plague his mind, you have got to know too, you have to. Maybe he has had one too many drinks.

‘’ I think you know why I always come back, why I come to waste my time en ese campo with those half-assed associates of yours. ‘’

‘’ Pacho. ‘’

A warning maybe. Do not say such words it means, not now, but he can’t seem to care. At home or overseas, he is a king, untouched. He is so close to you he can see the dots of gold in your eyes better now, raise his hand and feel your forearm with the inside of his palm as you let him. He could kiss you, he thinks, right now, in front of everyone and feel no shame. It would show them, he thinks, payasos.

‘’ Don’t kiss me, ‘’ you plead, eyes glued to his, ‘’ Not here. I can’t, I- ‘’

More fireworks set off in the distance, and another whiskey is pushed toward him by the bartender, but just when he thinks that everything is okay, that this could still be your moment, even when all the noise comes back, even after everyone starts moving again in your peripheral vision, your date puts his arm around your waist.

He doesn’t like how you tense, caught off guard. There is a ringing in his ears, a call for fury, anger, of knives and guns, whatever he can get his hand on. His fingers tighten around his glass, he doesn’t know this one, whoever you decided was fit enough to join your side for a few hours, and he doesn’t care to.

‘’ I suggest you bring your business elsewhere tonight. ‘’

‘’ Pacho, please- ‘’ You pitch up, trying to stop him, the threats, the powertrip, but it is useless.

‘’ I won’t ask twice. ‘’ He continues.

Pacho knows his gun is easily visible tucked into his pants, and quick eyes up and down from your date tell him he saw it too. It does not take much for him to leave after that, after Pacho makes a show of sipping his whiskey and leaning back to display the loaded pistol. You nod to the poor man to go, freeing him from the spectacle.

‘’ Now you are just being mean. ‘’ You tsk.

Pacho’s eyes are still following the man’s back into the crowd until he is but a speck of colour in his sight.

‘’ I didn’t see you try to get him to stay either. ‘’

You bring the last sip of your drink to your mouth.

‘’ What is it Pacho, what do you want? ‘’

Your empty glass is pushed to the side as you lean toward him, your eyes serious.

‘’ And don’t say me, don’t say any other business chingaderas. I want the truth. ‘’

Pacho catches the bartender’s attention and he orders you another glass, something sweet, exactly how you like it. Too much sugar will kill you. Maybe, but I’m pretty sure smoking will get to you first. Mostly it is to kill time and take this moment to think about how to say it, if he should at all. What has been bothering him for a long time, what he knows now since the chapel. Pacho lets you take a sip first, and you let him pay without fighting for the bill.

‘’ Miguel is not being honest with me, I know he is planning something, but I am not sure why. ‘’ He clears his throat. ‘’ I’d like you to listen and, if you want, report anything concerning to me. ‘’

Your reaction is instantaneous, like you have been stung by his words, your body reacting in disbelief. He knows how hard this must be for you, as it is for him too. He loathes how political your relationship has been lately, that you are just a piece of the puzzle being tossed around between them, always trying to win, to triumph. Your laugh is dry, void of emotion.

‘’ You’ve gone insane. ‘’ You shake your head. ‘’ And here I thought for a second you liked me. ‘’

‘’ You know how I feel about you, when has it ever been a secret? ‘’

Your eyes trail off elsewhere, in the crowd, the tiger in the cage. Pacho takes a step closer, approaching again when you let him. His hand moves up, thumb touching your chin, fingers pressing on your jaw, gently bringing your gaze his way.

‘’ Only if you want. Think about it, ‘’ About everything, about what we could do together. ‘’ I won’t hold it against you if you don’t. ‘’

His thumb caresses your bottom lip, a touch for the road, a touch to remember. He smiles, softly, trying to smooth out the tension in your body.

‘’ Enjoy the party, okay? ‘’

He means it. Your tongue rolls around in your mouth, biting back words as you shake him off you. And then he leaves, simply because there is nothing else he can do, he walks to the car, drives to the hotel, home and then he waits. However long it would take.

.

One morning the phone rings, the one he keeps with him at all times, the one he reserves for your number only, no one else's. It feels heavy in his hand, burning through the skin, through his heart, he hadn’t heard from you for weeks now. It takes him a few seconds before he reacts, pressing the button and bringing the phone to his ear.

‘’ Pacho. ‘’

He hears the crackle of your voice over the receiver, flat, his name an acknowledgement, barely a hello. You had only called once after the party, mostly to yell at him, drunk and incoherent. A time when he could do nothing but listen and send a car to your house to make sure you didn’t accidentally hurt yourself. Something he still hadn’t received a thank-you card for, no apologetic phone call, just a deafening silence in return, no more late-night conversations, your side of the bed still cold.

He had thought you wouldn’t call again after that, not when you had been so angry, how you had told him that this must have been all a trick from the beginning. Like a snake, you had spit at him through the phone, trying to break the ranks, the long-earned trust.

Letting you plant doubt into my head at Miguel’s birthday was a mistake.

‘’ Are you there? ‘’

I am. He is, holding onto the satellite phone like his life depends on it.

‘’ I want you to listen very carefully, ‘’ You begin, ‘’ I’ll only say this once. ‘’

This call is moving too fast. Pacho knows this isn’t an apology, and frankly, he doesn’t expect one, but he had hoped you would have been a bit more forgiving, less strategic, less straight to the point. He hears you move around, doors closing and opening, probably at home from what has been reported to him lately.

‘’ Miguel will talk to Don Juan in Matamoros before your meeting. This is what you wanted, right? Information like this? Because this is the last time, I’m done, I’m leaving Mexico. ‘’

He feels like he has been stabbed, straight through the heart and pulled.

‘’ Why? Where are you going? ‘’

Come to me, he wants to say, I’ll fly you in, I’ll protect you.

‘’ Listen, I know you can one-up his deal. ‘’ Hair brushes against the receiver. ‘’ Miguel will know I ratted out the second he gets to your meeting, use it wisely. ‘’

‘’ Don’t hang up. Talk to me. ‘’

He calls your name through the phone, pleading, he knows how desperate his voice might sound, he knows he is. Tell me what happened, and I’ll take care of it. Pacho knows running away is your next step, hang up and disappear, leave and hide, but he won’t allow it, not when he can take you in and make sure you are safe.

In his arms forever at last.

‘’ Miguel wants Guerra to get into the cocaine business, if it works he’ll have leverage, and if the Caribbean corridor closes you’ll- ‘’

‘’ No. ‘’ He has to take a deep breath, remind himself to stay focused on the task at hand. ‘’ No, not that. What happened? ‘’

Why are you leaving? What did they do?

‘’ I- Pacho, I can’t stay on the phone much longer- ‘’

He holds the phone in a tight grip, sweaty fingers, gold rings crushing the plastic.

‘’ I am sending someone to pick you up. Don’t leave your house. ‘’

He can feel your hesitation over the phone, all the planning that would have to be thrown out the window, what it would mean to be seen by his side. This is not just business anymore to him, it hasn’t been for a long time.

‘’ I owe you that. Let me. ‘’

He had longed for this, a phone call, a letter, news of your well-being. A chance to save you, steal you away.

‘’ Okay. ‘’ You sound small, resigned. You know better than to refuse, ‘’ I’ll wait. ‘’

The second you hang up, Pacho is on the move, snapping fingers left and right, setting up cars, planes, whatever it will take to get you out. It scares him to death, the idea of you alone in Mexico, waiting for the other shoe to drop, waiting for someone to figure out something is wrong, to see if Miguel would act on it.

He has a different feeling this time, nothing hot or burning like before. It spreads through him, a searing pain. It isn’t jealousy anymore, fear perhaps.

Maybe it is, he realizes.

Letting you plant doubt into my head at Miguel’s birthday was a mistake.

Maybe it was.

#pacho herrera x reader #pacho x reader #narcos fanfiction #narcos mexico imagines #narcos mexico imagine #narcos x reader

[thresholdbb]

Do we think Seven can feel all of her face and body?

The Borg know when things happen in the collective and can arguably feel them, but when an individual is severed from the Borg, that expansive collective consciousness is violently narrowed down to a pinpoint. We know Seven has pretty good proprioception because she agrees that her shoulder hurts when the EMH finds that her biradial clamp is off by 0.3 microns. Because of this, she arguably has a very good understanding of how things in her body feel. That said, she doesn't really complain about physical pains, and we really only see her struggle when things are emotionally difficult.

Since she had been in the collective since she was 6, she wouldn't necessarily know that certain sensations are not normal. If there were any issues that happened as a result of her assimilation, she wouldn't necessarily know they are unusual after she was severed because that's what she has always known.

So back to my original question: can she feel all of her face? Looking at the placement of her facial implants, they are both on the trigeminal nerve. The cheekbone implant is right around the root of the nerve, and the eyebrow piece sits right over another branch. Trigeminal neuralgia is crazy painful, but she could have trigeminal neuropathy and think it's completely normal because she doesn't have a typical baseline to compare it to. I imagine the Borg implants must interrupt some nerve functioning to ensure that the drones move as they are supposed to, and the nano probes would repair any damage that would affect their functioning. But the Borg would consider physical discomfort irrelevant, so relatively minor issues like neuralgia, pins and needles, or any other unusual sensations would not be considered an issue.

#bodily autonomy in a collective existence #strange territory to be sure #but like how much do the Borg fuck with nerves #I would bet she has trigeminal neuropathy just because of the placement of her implants #like maybe the emh would find the issues but Borg tech is still new to Starfleet medicine and he would be in largely uncharted territory #I have more thoughts but they are still nebulous #I don't fully remember where her arm implant is placed but it's not on the exposed elbow nerve #I spend a lot of time thinking about fictional future medicine don't mind me #and the trigeminal nerves are sensitive little sunflowers #have you ever had a conduction test on your Trigeminal nerve? ask your emh today #meta #not like polished meta just a burst of wtf about the Borg #start actually writing my thoughts down again #not even going on main tags with my crack analysis idk #clearly I miss boyager #melts into oblivion

[fuckingstupidbracket]

like a regular bin, not even recycled or anything

#poll #okay so uh #dont read the tags ahead unless you care about my little vent #my mom got me a hoodie in December from shein #even tho i had two very similar hoodies already both from better brands #still fast fashion but not as fast #and one of them was modded by me #but the hoodie was fucking soft and comfy and good length so it quickly became my favourite hoodie #according to my mother tho after a month she started complaining that it's ugly. #it had those little balls idk what they're called but #1 i don't fucking care #2 they're removable #so anyway fot the past week or two shes been complaining every time i wore the hoodie and today she screamed at me and threw it in the trash #she also kicked me but thats unrelated #and like even if she bought me a new identical one that wouldn't help at all cause she still threw my stuff in the trasg #and bought from a company that goes against my values #and she keeps excusing it like “its cheaper” #im sorry but buying one good thing and wearing it too death is cheaper than buying a hundred things you throw away after less than 3 months #so fucking sick of this!!!!!!!! #i have more than enough clothes too and am currently trying to get rid of some #BUT NOT LIKE THAT WHAT THE FUCK #btw my vinted is dupiarz it's mostly stuff from 2017-2020 so not really trendy but maybe youd like something #the pnly clothing i dont bother repairing and just throw out is underwear #but i do fix socks because good socks are good socks

[ttaibhse]

my goal was 4k in 30 min really really didnt think i was going to make it 🥹🥹🥹

#crop cus i realised i was fully about to dox myself lmfao #i know im still the worlds slowest runner but this was a huge deal for me alright......... heres why commence tag ramble 321 #usually i do time based so yesterday i did 30 mins and did like 3.9k. so i was like well 4k in 30 mins should be easy! it wasnt. #i got to like 29 minutes and was like ah damn not gonna make it but at least i tried. started to slow down and then saw a girl doing sprint #nearby and thought well fuck it and sprinted for my life for the last few hundred metres i cant remember i was in the throes of battle #TWO SECONDS TO SPARE........ #huge deal for me as someone who is extremely prone to giving up #and i set a 2 mile pb!!!!!!!!! #maybe a 30 minute 5k is more possible than i thought #its funny cus i spent this whole time up till now working on going slowly enough to actually complete the runs and now im like #HURRY UP!!! OH FUCK!!!!! vndksjfhdfgdkhf #i need new shoes though i have horrible blisters #saw this cat on the way home btw and it could not have cared less about me i may as well have been invisible. no response even when i pette

[hauntingblue]

Gear 5 luffy's laugh is so contagious I just hear the drums and go insane how does this work. What did he do to me

#i still cant believe how much this new opening theme goes off.... DREAM SAVE ALL OF US 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH 💥💥💥💥💥💥 #wait a second. the robot attacked 200 years ago. the void century was 800 years ago no????? what #oh see it was made 900 years ago.... but why did it attack 200 years ago then.... what happened #it is still so funny how they made evegapunk einstein but with some cunty long legs #200 years ago they gave rights to the gyojin!!! i see i see ✍️✍️also i still wonder why law and kuma have similar hat and pants designs #like there is NO WAY that much similarity isnt done on purpose. NO FUCKING WAY!!! I NEED ANSWERS!!! #are they annihliating cp ships akdhakskd yeah vegapunk letsgo #also the opening song is about dreams and the end one is about luffy reaching shanks...... havent got a clue why but there it is #talking tag #watching one piece #episode 1098 #also is lucci named lucci bc it kinda sounds like luffy. SERAPHIM KUMA HAS HIS DEVIL FRUIT???? vegapunk could only make zoan fruits???? #also wdym when cp0 acts it means its some historic event. lucci is like 25. where are the experienced people here #sentomaru works for vegapunk??? maybe i forgor about this tbh also do theu have a doffy seraphim??? the fact they have animal names.... #stussy letting kaku get hurt akdhsjsn oh atlas has lamb ears..... and lucci said she is is prey... no..... the foresahdowing :( #lucci you fucked up she just gave luffy food... that a death sentence look what happened to kaido #episode 1099 #<- oh my god btw. god. jesus. #why is akainu telling the cp0 what to do or thinks he can do that... thats the world gov... also thinkng about how garp should fight him #and not luffy.... because of ace you know... i still wonder how did sengoku know who ace's father was... there is only one man who knew.... #everyone trying to stop them from fighting ajdhsksjks two rabid dogs fr #LUFFY TAKING OFF HIS JACKET WHEN LUCCI ASKS FOR HIS WANTED SIGN!!!! GO OFF KING!!!! SLAY!!! THE CREW SAW HIM!!! FINALLY!!! #i have been smiling since he started the transformation this is so sick...... i have got a case of the luffy brain #zoan fruits steal the personality of the user when they awaken ✍️✍️ luffy???? nami being the only one who saw gear 5 <3 twins manifesto #robin being so shook about luffy being a god ajdbjansk wdym devil fruits exist because people wish for them. fairy magic real???? #WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY ARE FROM ALTERNATE REALITIES WHERE SOMEONE DREAMT ABOUT THEM??? DOES HE TRAVEL THRU REALITIES FOR THEM??? #jinbe has been making this face 😧 every episode three times it is amazing ajdhaksnsk poor man... now he sees a kid angel version of himself #after seeing hia captain turn into a god... he is gonna get a stroke OMG SENTOMARU WE JUST GOT YOU BACK #episode 1100 #<- CRAZY. INSANE. OH GOD. ONLY 12 LEFT. THATS A WEEKEND!!! I CANT DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[vitamin-zeeth]

Thinking about Kristen Applebees so hard rn. Might go rewatch literally all of freshman year.

#its my year anniversary of d20 fandom #or like it was a week or two ago #maybe this is how i celebrate it #there was a whole period of time when i wasn't caught up on all the intrepid heroes seasons where i would like #whenever i started a new one i would literally not stop fucking watching it until it was over #like i had school and i did not care it was just wake up start watching be in school watching as much as physically possible get home #keep watching stay up til 3am watching and then repeat at 7 the next morning #i internally referred to it as a d20 bender and it was honestly the best #i also did it with acofaf the second time and techinally ive done it with starstruck and sophomore year twice #Shoutout to the time i was watching the fhsy finale during art and had to leave to sit in a bathroom stall to cry #wild times #honestly the best part of school i just destroy my mental state if i do that shit any other time #whoopsie tag essay #d20 #dimension 20 #fantasy high #d20 fantasy high #fantasy high freshman year #fhfy #kristen applebees #d20 kristen #fantasy high kristen #kristen fantasy high

[iceeericeee]

I wonder how many tags i can add on to this

#there must be SOME kind of a limit otherwise posts would get suuuuuuper duper long like is it just 30? #idk but i'm going to find out by simply maxxing out the character limit for each tag and finding out the limit of tags for each post lololo #this is gonna be great. i just have to remember to type without ever using the comma. it shouldn't be too hard right? fuck i almost typed #the comma i'm already bad at this smh my head. also if your still here i commend you. you have a better attention span than i do. #i'm already starting to get bored holy shit this is not happening. i gotta power through this. FOR SCIENCEEEEEEEEEE. or somethinggggggggggg #but fr idk what else to say. maybe just saying that i don't know what to say will be good enough? but does that even count? #I don't even know anymore. ffffffffuck. this is gonna be a while huh? also holy shit if you're still here omg u deserve like. a prize or #something because u definitely didn't have to stay and read all of this bull shit. lololol i typed out bs but decided to just spell the who #thing out just to make it go by faster. i'm so lazy. this is only the nineth tag HOW will i make it to 30. i am sobbing the adhd is adhding #very hard rn. are you still here? bruh this is insane. i have somehow managed to keep ur attention this long and it's just me spouting #absolute balderdash. wait do you know what balderdash even means? i don't care if you do already i'm gonna tell you anyway. balderdash is #basically just another word for nonsense. boom. you learned something new today. balderdash equals nonsense equals this damn post. #why did i decide to do this in the first place. it was a dumb idea. i don't know if i can even keep going. this is only the *counts tags* #it's the 14th tag. we've got a long way to go boys. men. soldiers. comrads. friends. besties peeps. marshmallows. #where was i going with this? oh yeah. trying to max out the limit for tags. dang i almost typed a comma there. i haven't done that since #i think the third or fourth tag. dang that feels like such a long time ago. not for you guys probably. it feels longer because i have to li #type it all out and stuff. so it's definitely gonna feel longer for me. are you still here? good lord don't you have better things to #be doing than reading all of this? we're already on tag number 18. it feels like i should be on the thirtyeth by now. or however it's spell #'toast' you might be wondering 'why are you typing out the names of the numbers instead of say '9' or '5'?' well you see. young one. #this is a strategy i'm using to make each tag slightly longer. even if i don't know how to spell it. it'll make it just a little bit longer #anyway. i got off topic. not that there was ever a topic to begin with. unless it's about making this as long as i can. #which i am apparently good at doing. i guess. are you STILL here? do you seriously have nothing to do? i guess i'm flattered you stayed thi #whole time. instead of reading something else you stayed here. with me. listening to me talk. on the twenty-third tag. oh yeah its tag 23 #except now it's tag twenty-four. how crazy is that. this little talk is almost over. only 6 tags away if memory serves right. this's strang #i kind of don't want this to end. but i know it should. after all there is a limit. but all things must come to and end at some point i gue #i'm running out of things to say. it's probably a good thing it's almost over. hahahahah............... but i don't want to go. i don't wan #to leave this post. i've worked so hard on it. and for what. just for it to end. are you still here? yes? good. i'd hate to end this alone. #thank you for indulging me and my craziness. the end is only 2 tags away now. you can go ahead and leave. i'll be okay on my own. really... #...you're still here? i- i don't know what to say. i suppose a toast is in order. perhaps. for this journey. this stupid dumb post i though #would be fun. i'll make it short. it's the last tag after all. this was fun. but i will never do it again. so long as a i live. i'll miss y

[lesbeid0u]

#Methinks I may be cupioromantic #I was talking to my friend after we got back from aniboston and somehow the topic of conversation changed to our orientations #And I was explaing to them how I don't think I've ever actually like. Loved someone romantically/been capable of loving someone romanticall #But I still wanna be in a relationship and they were like #'King I think u may be on the ace spectrum' #And then I fell victim to the 4am Thoughts and started doing some reflecting/research and damn #Wouldn't You Fucking Know It #Hoenstly tho it feels so fucking freeing knowing that there's a name for how I feel #Bc I thought I was like. Broken or some shit for the longest time bc no matter how much I tried #I could never manage to force myself into having feelings for someone irl #And idk maybe I'm not actually ace/on the ace spectrum and I'm just falling victim to the 'you haven't found the right person' mentality #But like I genuinely do not/could not see myself falling in love with someone yet I do still want to feel loved romantically #Anyway #These are 4am thoughts at 5pm so I'm not gonna dwell on them too much #If you've made it this far in the tags and have any words of advice about this shit lmk #Thanks for reading. And now it's time for the breaking news #My mom has beef with one of the stray cats in out backyard bc she thinks he's a bad influence on his children #Also one of his kids looks Just Like Grim Twistedwonderland and I'm getting making that his Halloween costume this year hehe

[thethingything]

"I've barely done anything other than working on art for the last few days and I'm very behind on almost every other task I need to do so I should go do those" <- these are the words of a man who was about to realise not having any energy drinks for 4 days has had a devastating effect on his ADHD symptoms and the constant background stress of everything makes him start shaking from anxiety the minute he's not distracted by the one activity he's been hyperfocusing on

#personal #thoughts #🍬 post #vent post #emetophobia tw for the tags #''I'll go do something else'' *goes to do something else and starts feeling so anxious I feel like I'm gonna throw up* #I just wanna catch up with the basic tasks I've missed so I'm not completely overwhelmed #but holy shit our ability to focus is absolutely fucked and I don't know what to do about it #also we haven't had energy drinks because we forgot to bring the new box of them upstairs when we were meant to #and those boxes are fucking heavy so it's a difficult task and also by the time we remembered we'd already not had one for a couple of days #so our ADHD symptoms are bad and we're struggling to get ourselves to do much easier stuff than that #on the plus side our tooth pain currently isn't as bad as it has been and I'm hoping we can maybe go a while before it flares up again #because I would like a break from the pain and a break from taking the pain meds #and the pain makes it even harder to focus on anything so I'd like to be able to do some stuff while I'm not also dealing with that

[eggmeralda]

I wish there was a way you could put like. every song in the world on shuffle

#spotify playlists made for you are not enough #bc they're based on music i already like and i don't Wanna Hear Music I Already Like #god i need a hyperfixation that is Stable and also New (not a revival of one I've had since I was 16) #bc they introduce me to music i wouldn't have even thought of ever going near #not to compare everything to the highs of my tflu obsession but like? #that introduced me to So Much Music (some related. some not) #i probably listened to more genres in 2022 than i have ever listened to in my life #but idk. i could just listen to some random genre i have no interest in but what would be the point? #there needs to be a sort of 'hilda would've liked this in the 40s' 'this reminds me of swagtre' 'this is literally the plot of nddp' etc #sort of connection #but all i have right now is the endless cycling continuation of the south park obsession i had in 2016. which makes it very easy to just #listened to the music i listened to back then #also it's like. I've seen everything in that fandom there's nothing new i can really get out of it? #it's more just a mix of nostalgia and it's like. easy to get into bc idk. a lot of characters and storylines so you don't get bored in one #place for so long. almost the perfect obsession if it wasn't literally South Park #but surely i can just type in a character's name on spotify and find new music that way? #hahaha No #bc every single sp playlist I've looked through only seems to use like the same 10 songs. and i don't really like any of them #also 'he would not fucking say that' except it's 'he would not fucking listen to that' #most of the time. idk #i need new Vibes that's the problem #there's always a new vibe going on at all times but it seems to have stopped around the start of this year #maybe i just need a job. once i have a job there'll be a location i go to regularly. and I'll have to travel there in some way. and that #will be a new experience. and there'll be new vibes #I'll probably stumble across a new hyperfixation in the process. and then find new music from it #but for now everything is so stagnant and all i really listen to is 80s/90s indie pop and then just music i've listened to since I was 14 #i can't even ask for recommendations bc even if i like a song it has nothing to stick to in my brain #i'll be like ''this is a cool song i like it'' and listen to it on repeat and then go off it like a day later #oh fuck tag limit #ramble

[iamnotadinosaur-42]

Funky clouds

Trying out doing lineart for once might do more with this "new style"

#Also gonna try and start posting any art once per week (sunday) #So i can have a fucking schedule on this blog and maybe draw more constantly to maybe prevent horrible art block from happening again #Anyway time for the other tags #digital aritst #digital art #ibs paint x #digital drawing #my art #artists on tumblr #artwork #digital arwork #new style #digital illustration

[bonetrousledbones]

has anybody else noticed that followed tags are just straight up broken lately. i think i've dismissed the same 10 posts 43 times

#trousled rambles #i noticed it a While ago tbh but it started with my least active followed tags so i just figured tumblr was desperate and stupid #thing is. more recently. well i know damn well the papyrus tag ain't running low on new posts #much less the fucking SONIC THE HEDGEHOG TAG #its so annoying bc like MAYBE they were posts that i liked the first time but now i have to hate them bc i cant see anything ELSE #THE WHOLE REASON I FOLLOW TAGS IS TO SEE NEW THINGS. WHY ARE YOU SHOWING ME POSTS FROM SIX MONTHS AGO AND NOTHING ELSE

[byanyan]

ㅤat this point, they're beyond wasted and vibing out to music that's too loud with several substances on standby for when the buzz starts wearing off. happy new year!!

#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ic status ⋮ fighting a fight i'll win anyway. #excuse to make use of this gif bc it's one of my faves? maybe. #but mostly i don't want to make an ooc post bc i don't much care for new years #THAT SAID....... i do actually have a goal for this year #and that's to finally ACTUALLY take fucking steps toward getting a diagnosis so that i can maybe start to be a functioning human being #for the first time in far far too long #at this point i'm p sure i'm on the autism spectrum and/or adhd and only having treatment for depression & anxiety #and having psychs guess at MAYBE things like bpd are the underlying main issue #then not actually doing anything about it #has royally fucked over my quality of life since middle school (: #i don't like talking much about my life bc it's genuinely so embarrassing #but i figure maybe baring a little of my soul will help encourage me to finally take steps forward. #this is basically my happy place. my retreat. my escape. #and byan has effectively become my comfort character and a bit of an outlet #so while i'm out here crying about shit i just want to say a huge thank you to all of you lovely mutuals who have kept me company #and put up with my sharp and glittery little freak and given me all these amazing relationships for them #i'd be doin a whole lot worse if not for y'all you have no idea #thank you i love you and here's to hoping that 2024 is good and a better mental health year for all of us ♡♡♡ #...there's a good chance i'll be embarrassed enough to delete all these tags later tbh #but i'm in basically the last time zone to hit midnight so it's probably late enough that most people won't see it anyway lmao

[deelovesbooks]

ya know what no I'm going to actually finish one of the current wips rather than start a new one

#making gifts for almost everyone for Christmas #and i have a few that are like half done already but i keep ending up starting new ones #im gonna finish this fucking hat first its the project thats been in the queue the 2nd longest #the longest is the blanket i started like almost 3 years ago now #but the hat will be quicker #krobus i do actually need to wait until i go back to my parents house bc i forgot the felt for his eyes there #but hes done he just needs to be stuffed and add his antenna on top #and then i have to decide what im doing with the pattern crochet #if its a pillow or wall hanging or frame or i have an idea for a hard backing maybe #i gotta get a move on for all these gifts tho lmao #also that cow is like 3/4 finished #and if i have time a mouse as well bc she asked #and then have to figure out something for my brother?? #and actually decide for my friend lauren #theres a lot #should i make a crochet tag? imma make one #maybe ill post some of the stuff ive done #my projects #ok thatll do #my textposts #me