#fuck you corn

[tsukasastavern]

“ Welcome one and all to the BEST kitchen in the world! For todays order, I have prepared the most exquisite ingredients to make a delicious treat even your great grandmama would enjoy in the Great Depression! ”

“STEP ONE! Take a can of creamed corn and dump it into a large oven safe pan!”

“…I think mine is a tad expired. Anyways, add frosting to cover up the mistakes!!”

“oh god it looks worse. uh… Put it in oven at 350 and lets hope it looks better…!!!”

“what the fuck”

“I dont even know what the fuck happened so just slap some red velvet cake on it and call it a day! Thank you for tuning in to Tsukasa’s Diner, I was Tsukasa- See you again soon!”

#tsukasastavern #tsukasa tenma #totally real cooking #mhm #im being held at gunpoint right now #i dont even like corn #i hate corn #fuck you corn

[lazylittledragon]

more domestics to warm the soul <33

#art #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #astarion #tavstarion #until they sort out the daywalker thing he's getting the taako special #if you're not putting astarion in fabulous outfits then what are you doing #also fuck you astarion for being the only fictional man that i can't Dad #that man would throw an orphan into a volcano for one corn chip #it is so important to me that dorian's eyes look like he's never had a thought

[deepestturtlepielover]

✨I think I will cause problems on purpose ✨

#homestuck #and Star trek?! #gonna type a crossover #i need this fanfic #and I’m drank too much so it’s now gonna happen #oh my gawd #shepherds pie with corn is gross #I hate corn #fuck you corn #so many ideas #so little time #(●ↀωↀ●)

[peppiekorn]

why the fuck did the whole town of bikini bottom have a day dedicated to hating spongebob. what did he do wrong? he is full of whimsy and joy and love. patrick star will burn in hell for this

#corn posting #fuck you patrick you fucking asshole

[legendarceus]

more of that silly au where every1 haunts clover after they kill them in the no mercy route

1st panel:

starlo: ceroba’s got this, no doubt.

dalv: i wouldn’t be so sure…

2nd panel:

starlo: see? she just got em!

dalv: wait for it…

3rd panel:

starlo: wh

4th panel:

starlo: HUH.

dalv: told you.

#uty starlo #uty dalv #uty clover #uty ceroba #flower cameo kinda. if you could even call it that #haunting justice au #this ain’t corn yaoi but i’ll give u corn yaoi fans crumbs i fucking guess #<- i don’t ship it but whateva you interpret it as #i actually made this before beating ceroba. and now i’m stuck on fucking martlet #ughhuhhhhhhh #undertale #undertale yellow

[ghouljams]

I wish to hear more about Murphy the feed store guy who is apparently getting freaked out by König paying full price

Murphy is like 70 years old and owns the feed store. The store has a name but nobody uses it because the sign is so old and the paint is so worn that everyone just calls it by the owner's name. "Murphy's" easy. The only thing that's really of note about Murphy or the store is that Murphy loves to haggle.

See every item in the store is slapped with a hilariously high price tag, so high that any farmer with half a brain would look at it and go, "Now hold on, that don't look right to me." But this is Murphy's design. Everyone in town knows that if you go to the feed store you gotta be prepared to haggle, gotta be prepared to stick to your guns and not wilt under Murphy's overgrown catapillar brows and eager grin. It's Goose's favorite part of shopping, and the rest of the 141 find out on their first trip to Murphy's what is expected and why.

One man in town has not gotten the memo. One man is trying to be polite and just pay Murphy for his wares. One man is 7 feet tall and stares Murphy down in a way that makes his stomach churn when he tells him he is happy to pay full price.

"You're sure I can't interest you in a discount?" Murphy asks hesitantly. König tips his head forward looking at the neatly notated order list and the prices. He looks back at Murphy, eyes boring holes into him, expression unreadable behind the bandana mask.

"Nein, I am sure you are asking what is fair." Murphy feels his stomach drop, is this guy trying to intimidate him? Is he trying to say something about his pricing practices? Murphy dabs his forehead with a handkerchief.

"You're a loyal customer, a discount would be-" König holds up a hand to stop him.

"You are very kind, but I am sure you need the money more than I do." Jesus christ. Murphy is starting to sweat. Is this guy trying to say the store is in disrepair? That he thinks business is bad?

"Hey buddy, you a fuckin' moron or what?" Moon asks behind König. Murphy sweats more watching König turn to face her. His eyes sweeping high and then tipping his head down to look at her. König's eyes narrow.

"Ah, hello sister." König says pleasantly, Moon stares up at him with all the patience of a woman parked next to a fire hydrant, "I did not know nuns were allowed to swear."

Murphy tries to motion for Moon to absolutely not respond to that. She blows a bubble with her gum and snaps it at König. "I'll say a Hail Mary later," she tells him, "Who are you supposed to be? Zorro?"

Murphy says a quick prayer: please dear God do not let your disciple start another fight in his store, not with this giant man.

"König, and you are?" The giant asks, tipping his head to the side, his fingers twitching too close to his holster for Murphy's liking.

"You like moonshine König?" Moon pulls a flip phone from her pocket, ignoring König's question.

"I do not know what that is."

"Fantastic." Murphy motions again, desperately, for Moon to maybe stop with the sales pitch. Just for his own health. König turns to look at him mid gesture.

"This is very rude," he tells him, mimicking the gestures Murphy had made, "we are trying to have a conversation."

"Of course," Murphy tells him, holding his hands up placatingly, "don't mind me." König nods, Moon raises a brow at Murphy. It's weird seeing him like this, he's usually so commanding. She looks up at König who is waiting patiently for her to continue their conversation.

Oh she is going to upcharge the hell out of this dumbass.

#oc: Murphy #oc: Moon #cowboy!König #why did you want this? what do you care about Murphy #König is big and twitchy and doesnt blink a lot it freaks Murphy out #why the fuck are you comfortable paying 200% markup dude? #Moon does absolutely extort this man #texting Goose about the giant weirdo freaking Murphy out and paying full price #goose: lol dumbass how much are you gonna charge him for corn? #moon: sends along upcharged number #goose: that might actually be more illegal than the fact that youre distilling in the woods. dont do that #ghoul speaks

[kate-bot]

It is of my personal opinion that they are best friends...  fake peppino is the only one who will eat her food lol

#my art #pizza tower #the noisette #noisette pizza tower #fake peppino #fake peppino pizza tower #i present more fake peppino ms paint art since you guys absolutely devoured the last lot #mspaint #oh by the way if youre wondering what the fuck chocolate corn is its from that one comic of her and noise #you should go and look at it its funny #also also - this is my first time drawing noisette #i hope i did okay !!

[littleoceanbabe]

guillermo romanticizing and idealizing vampirism up to the moment after he grew his fucking fangs is so unbelievable babygirl you had YOUR WHOLE LIFE. to deliberate over the consequences of being a vampire you’re gonna get an anxious tummy ache NOW??? no one in this show has ever held the one brain cell i honestly think it died with carol

#wwdits #girly what did you THINK you had to do as a vampire #stupid head omg just go buy some fucking fangs at spirit halloween like the rest of us and drink corn syrup with red food dye in it #i love u guillermo i will defend u until the earth burns up but what the FUCK were u thinking

[uncanny-tranny]

Realizing you can never please anybody can be a devastating loss... until you internalize exactly what that means.

When you sacrifice so much of yourself for others, you forget that you leave yourself behind. Not being able to please everybody means you can start learning how to fully embody who you are instead of juggling everybody else's baggage, trying to make something work out.

You might feel devastated about this, thinking you're terrible for not pleasing everybody. The truth is, it was impossible from the start, and learning who you are is infinitely rewarding

#mental health #encouragement #encouraging words #people-pleasing is honestly (in my experience) the most soul-crushing things out there #and i wish more and more people could learn how to let go of the impulse to self-persecute... #...and to let go of the idea that literally the *entire world* comes before them #i think the thing that really set me on this path was realizing that few people would do what i did... #...that they would see that nobody is fighting their corning *including them*... #...and that few people will actually fight your corner *for* you... #...and part of that realization enraged me because it's like... everybody abandons you INCLUDING yourself... #...so you think 'how the fuck didn't i realize that?' and you start to question more and more the reasons you internalized the message... #...that literally everybody matters more than you ever will... #...part of that for me stems from deep systematic abuse and part of it is cultural... #...so you'll find that your drives to do certain things have differwnt influences and some are perfectly fine... #...while others are destroying and depressing and horrific

[figofswords]

wow I didn’t think reblogging that tea post and then seeing people’s tags would deal me such strong psychic damage. come over I can fix you I can find a tea you will like. “I don’t like tea” how can you say that as a blanket statement when there are so many vastly different kinds of tea. head in hands

#‘it’s like coffee but not good’ #while a cup of black tea does have a great deal less caffeine in it than coffee #it also has a stimulant called l-theanine which is NOT found in coffee #and the more complex combination of the two stimulants hit your system much more slowly #which is why tea doesn’t give you jitters like coffee does #anyone who’s like wow I need my coffee to survive but I hate that it makes me nauseous and gives me heart palpitations and bad breath #to you I say. wean yourself off coffee and onto tea!!!!!!! #but WAIT I can keep going. nauseous? ginger tea. sore throat? peppermint contains menthol which works as a numbing agent #green and black teas are both very high in antioxidants #chamomile and lavender do both have a calming affect #BUT WHAT ABOUT THE TASTE I hear you say #IT TASTES LIKE GRASS. try a floral tea or a black tea or chai or Thai tea #ITS SO BITTER you’re either steeping it for too long or the water you’re using is too hot #not to sound like I’m fucking uncle iroh or something I just apparnerlt have strong thoughts and feelings about tea #I can’t handle ppl going ugh I hate tea and it’s like. overbrewed lipton in microwaved tap water. #anyway MY favorites are jasmine and lavender earl grey #and currently I’m really into this corn silk tea my brother bought me at h mart #it’s like gen mai cha but even more #congrats for making it this far into my tea rant tags. if you comment your tastes I can give you a personalized tea recommendation

[s0ckh3adstudios]

got lazy and used canon designs and not utg designs by accident

HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

#showed the Corn Nation discord and one reaction was “FUCKING FETUS????” and also “the divine conception 🙏” #i just thought you should know #here comes the baby #sock talk #moi <3 #undertale gold au

[poisonousquinzel]

"I'm nobody. I haven't done anything with my life like you have."

Todd Phillips, Scott Silver, Lady Gaga genuinely, lovingly, fuck you.

I will never forgive you. I hope every day your bones get softer and softer and then one day when you're not expecting it, I shall be there, and I will gnaw through your Achilles heel<3

#LIKE WHAT THE FUCK???? IVE NOT DONE ANYTHING WITH MY LIFE #SHES SUPPOSED TO BE A DOCTOR SHE SPENT OVER A DECADE IN FUCKING SCHOOL IM GONNA FIGHT #IM THROWING HANDS WITH EVERYONE INVOLVED THATS SO NASTY #idc i will not be acknowledging this as an actual Harley cause shes not. i dont fucking care. #the Only thing making her Harley is that they called her that. change her hair color and color scheme and bam PUNCHLINE #but no they decided to be stupid and insulting and ignorant. #this genuinely makes me so mad. #i watched the trailer and every time im like jfc okay its gonna suck they just release something absolutely worse #i will be spending my entire therapy session tomorrow ranting passionately about my hatred for todd phillips #i would fight him for a corn chip #harley quinn #harleen quinzel #baby im so sorry to be tagging you i know this aint you baby!!! you're better than this!! you deserve better #dc comics

[illegiblehandwriting1]

frankly i think the best way to differentiate fanon sky and canon sky is to take a look at groose's redemption arc. both forgive him for the bullying but fanon sky says "he didn't mean it!" Canon sky says "i deserved it"

(for reference, canon sky is sky as shown in the game/inferred directly from sksw)

#chicken scratch #smoke & ashes #lu sky #linked universe #would like to say that this post came to me about a hypothetical ghirahim redemption arc #and the post very nearly works albeit at a more extreme level (because yknow. the Murders) #but the problem is that groose antagonized link specifically #but ghirahim didn't give a shit about link he was just fucking around the first time you meet him #he only plays with link because he's in the way of getting to zelda #so link doesn't matter to him he just wants to hurt zelda #and that's the difference. theres why a ghirahim redemption arc would never work #sky doesn't give a shit about himself his low self esteem takes care of that #but as soon as you go after his loved ones it is over #sky is such an emotional person #he loves quickly and it's so easy to weasel your way into his heart #and it takes a very special kind of antagonization *cough hylia cough* to make him hate you forever #UNLESS you come after his friends. shortcut to being in the bad books forever. #he will kill you for one (1) corn chip #his low self love plus his high emotions and love for his friends equals this disaster of a man #and is why canon sky would never say i deserve it about ghirahim #he fully believes ghirahim is an asshole (which is true) and NOTHING he does is deserved #in skys mind nothing ghirahim did to him matters #it's the fact he wants zelda that means all bets are off and ghirahim's fucked #it's not about sky it's always about his loved ones #but i have indeed read fanfic where fanon sky is like oh this is ghirahim he tried to kill me it's all good now #so yea fanon sky would still say he didn't mean it #ok but like twisted ghira redemption arc where he realizes demise isn't the allpowerful master he thought #this god was just beaten by a pissed off teenager yknow what a fucking joke #anyway #ghira ends up thinking a lot about it being like so demise wasn't the right guy to follow

[totes-tubulardude]

I mentioned before that some modified troopers were more wary than others about telling their Jedi generals about their specific mutation. This is born from abuse they received from trainers on Kamino, a sense of fear that others that aren’t their brothers will think they are monsters and need to be feared.

So when they first meet their Jedi generals, they don't bring it up or mention it. They still are trying to get a feel for their Jedi and the last thing they want is to scare them away.

Inevitably they will need to use their mutation, either to protect themselves or their battalions or in battle.

Anakin was absolutely amazed at Rex's ability when he first saw Rex use it. The captain was not expecting the list of questions and enthusiasm he received from his general at all, shocked that the man hadn't immediately transferred him off to a different battalion.

He was still too wary to tell Commander Tano when she joined them.

Commander Fox didn't have much use for his mutation when he was transferred from the frontlines to Coruscant. He did not inform the Chancellor or any senators he was in charge of protecting because he'd seen how his men were treated on the Capitol Planet. Even when it could save his own life he didn't use it.

That all changed when Senator Chuchi and Senator Amidala were suddenly under direct threat...

-

I have a name for this au now! Te ori bal te kih which is mando'a for The Big and the Small

#star wars g/t #the clone wars #clone troopers #clone wars g/t #te ori bal te kih au #captain rex #commander fox #senator chuchi #senator amidala #riyo chuchi #padme amidala #Rex first size shift in front of anakin for the first time: #Oh my god my general is going to hate me and think I'm a monster and that I'm going to eat him he's gonna transfer me :( #Anakin's actual reaction: #dude that fucking SICK he's gotta throw me next time #Fox's reaction to most senators: #you corrupt bastard I would sell you out for a corn chip #Fox with the senators he actually likes: #well shit I actually don't want you to die now I gotta go big >:(

[jesterofcrows]

I feel like tumblr would eat this story up:

So I haven't owned Stardew Valley for very long. Like I bought it almost a week ago so I'm not like.... THAT experienced. But I know from what a friend told me that if you're friends with Marnie, then she'll give you feed in the mail sometimes, so I was giving her as many gifts as I could bc I was worried about not being able to BUY enough feed from her to keep my single chicken happy through the winter....

Anyways I was bringing my LAST piece of corn I had to give to her but I hadn't checked the time and it was too early so her place wouldn't be open anyways but yk... Adhd... I don't pay attention to CLOCKS. What do you take me for? Punctual?

So I clicked on her door but the exact SECOND I clicked on it, Shane walked out and I accidentally clicked on him instead. I didn't see him there bc my sprite was in the way. So all I saw was his dialog box going "This is great, thanks!" & I was like "Wha- No! That wasn't for YOU?!"

Motherfucker stole my corn. My. last. corn.

And like.... I walked after him to talk to him & give him a piece of my mind and this bitch told me to fuck off. Bro was hostile as always. Probably being territorial over the corn he stole.... so I watched him leave (this is important. I. Watched. Him. Leave.) Then I opted to at least TALK to Marnie even if I didn't have a gift for her.

So I walked in.... AND IT TRIGGERED SHANE'S HEART EVENT. DUDE.... YOU LEFT WITH MY CORN AND HAVE THE AUDACITY TO SHOW BACK UP AND PUT ME IN A CUTSCENE?

Anyways I have beef with Shane for that reason.

I planned to make a separate save file so I can romance him, but not anymore. I'm still mad about the corn.

#shitpost #stardew valley #sdv memes #sdv shane #sdv marnie #meme #Fuck you #that was my last corn

[lobotomyladylives]

hearing people use tiktok censorship versions of words irl gives me a rage response so strong i go through what I can only describe as a werewolf transformation

#why the fuck are you censoring yourself! just say the word sex you sound like a twelve year old!!! #youre letting an app change your vocabulary what is wrong with you #ny brothers friend has been staying with us for a week and so far ive heard her say smex and eggplant and corn . youre 22 can you grow up #my post