#gone with not sure myself because while i would answer 'yes' to 'are you trans?' i would always self-describe as nb/agender | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dickwheelie · 3 years

Text

by popular demand on the discord server, a jonsasha fic! this incorporates a few different requests from the discord buds, but it boils down to: jon and sasha are on a "stakeout" for a statement and jon thinks it's purely for work but sasha is treating it like a date without him realizing.

this was my first time writing jonsasha and I gotta say it was super fun! I'll have to do more with these two in the future. please enjoy!

___________

"Anything yet?" Sasha asked.

Jon's leg had begun to fall asleep, and so he shifted his weight, leaning closer to the windshield. He squinted through the darkness at the doorway across the street, but it was as empty as before. "No, nothing," he said with a sigh.

Sasha shrugged. "Time to dig into the sandwiches, then." She reached into the backseat and retrieved the cooler she'd brought along for their overnight stakeout. It was two in the morning and they'd already gone through a packet of crisps and a candy bar each, as well as a handful of oranges, because Sasha thought they should try to be at least somewhat healthy. Now she pulled out two wrapped sandwiches, which looked like they'd come from Tesco's. She handed Jon the tuna one.

"So you can keep kosher," she said as she unwrapped her ham and cheese.

Jon looked at her in surprise. "Oh, er," he said, "thank you." Usually people forgot.

"Course." Sasha flashed him a smile. She'd been smiling a lot that night; Jon had no idea Sasha enjoyed stakeouts so much. He'd have to invite her to investigate statements more often in the future. He liked seeing her smile; she would scrunch up her nose slightly and it was very cute.

Almost as though she were reading his mind, Sasha said, "Thanks for inviting me out tonight, Jon. This has been fun." She craned her neck towards the passenger's side window. "Even if we're not having much luck. It's nice just to spend time together."

"O-Of course," Jon said. "Thank you for joining me. And for bringing the food." He paused. "And the car."

Sasha laughed. "Least I could do, really."

The truth was, Jon had asked her to join him mostly because Sasha was the best researcher he knew at the Institute, definitely better than himself. It didn't hurt that she was also a good friend, and one of the few people at work who seemed to like Jon. The only other one he could think of was Tim. But Sasha was . . . she was just different, somehow. She understood him, in a way very few people did. Now that he thought about it, not since Georgie had he so thoroughly clicked with someone. He was unaccountably relieved when she'd agreed to join him on what would have been a very lonely and very dull stakeout. Then again, Sasha had never shied away from a chance to do more thorough research.

The passenger's side window nearest to Jon was cracked open, and a sudden draft of night air blew in, making him shiver.

"Oh, are you cold?" Sasha said, and before Jon could answer, she removed the wool jacket she was wearing and placed it around his shoulders. Sasha was about the same height as him, perhaps an inch or two taller, but she was much broader-shouldered, and her jacket was large on him, encompassing him in its sudden warmth. He couldn't help but notice it smelled like her perfume. "Better?" Sasha asked.

Jon felt heat rise to his face, and drew the jacket a bit tighter around him. "Er, yes, much better." He definitely wasn't cold anymore, at least. He looked down at the jacket, running his finger along one of its many tiny enamel pins. He'd never tried to get close enough to look at them all. Now he could see, among others, a trans flag, a pan flag, an anarchist symbol, a pin with a drawing of the globe that said "Give Earth a Chance," and one that just said "int elligent;". He didn't understand that one but he supposed it meant something to somebody.

"I wonder how legal this is," Sasha was saying. "Staking out someone's flat like this. I mean, technically we're not breaking any laws, just sitting here in the car . . ."

Jon nodded. "Considering the kind of stuff I usually do, this is on the lower end of the legally dubious spectrum."

Sasha laughed. "How many carparks have you jumped the fence of again?"

"I believe the last count was six," Jon said, allowing himself a satisfied grin.

"Next time I expect you to invite me along to one of those 'research outings.' "

"Deal," said Jon, and they shook on it.

"Either way," Sasha said, settling back in her seat, "this has definitely been one of the more interesting dates I've been on."

Jon froze in his seat. Date? He had invited her out to help with investigating a statement, not for a date. His mind flashed back over the last three hours. Had he been on a date with Sasha this whole time, without realizing it? Had she not realized that this was a work thing? Oh god, what had he said to her when he'd asked? Had he made it sound like he was asking her out?

"Sasha," he said slowly, mind racing to figure out how best to break the news to her, "I . . . I'm so sorry, but I didn't--"

"Didn't know this was a date?" Sasha didn't seem angry. In fact, she was grinning at him. "I know. When you asked me to join you tonight, I said to myself, Sasha, this is the closest Jon is gonna get to asking you out. You better make it easy for him." She shrugged. "So, I made it a date. Assuming you're okay with that. If not, then it doesn't have to be one. Simple as that."

Jon stared at her, with her bright eyes and expectant smile. She really was very beautiful. He didn't ordinarily notice things like that, about anyone, but now that he was looking for it . . . And what an efficient way to go about things. It would be so much simpler if all dates could be arranged so easily. "Yes," he said, surprising himself at his own words. "That's . . . that's okay. A date is okay."

"You're sure?"

There was a spark of anticipation in his chest. "Yes."

Sasha's face lit up. "Brilliant." She leaned a little closer to him, resting an elbow up on the dashboard. "Is this alright?"

"Is what alright?"

"This." Sasha leaned across the gearshift and kissed him on the cheek.

Jon sat there for a moment, his heart racing. "I--um." He didn't have to give it much thought. "Yes." He leaned towards her. "Do it again?"

Sasha grinned, and pressed her lips to his. They were very soft. He could taste her chapstick, which was coconut flavored. It was wonderful. Her mouth shook under his for a second, as she tried to stifle a laugh. He pulled away, indignant, but Sasha was shaking her head. "I'm not laughing at you. It's just--you're so gentle. You don't have to be all careful with me." She pointed at herself. "It's Sash, remember?"

"I'm sorry," Jon said. "It's . . . been a while."

"Ah, same here. But I don't accept your apology."

Jon cracked a smile. "Can't get anything past you, James."

"No," Sasha said, faux-primly. "You can't." And then she kissed him again, and despite her insistence that he needn't be gentle, Jon melted anyway. Even with the both of them sitting down, Sasha's couple of inches on him were evident, and Jon gladly let her tower over him. He had always been a little self-conscious about his height, and having a partner that was taller than him was extremely welcome.

When they finally pulled apart, Jon said, "You're a genius."

Sasha looked puzzled. "I didn't know I was that good of a kisser."

"Oh, no, that's not--You're a really good kisser, yes, but I meant about the date thing."

"Ohh. That makes more sense. Yes, I am a genius. And a great kisser. Thank you for noticing," said Sasha, and Jon laughed.

The rest of the stakeout was, unfortunately, a bit of a wash. Neither of them spent much time watching the doorway, and they fell asleep on one another's shoulders around three in the morning. As a date, though, Jon would have to say it was a complete success.

#tma #the magnus archives #jonsasha #sasha james #jonathan sims #gwyneth writes #these two are so cuuuuuute wtf #this is set pre s1 before jon meets martin #cuz i can't deal with anyone being jealous or sad lmao

142 notes · View notes

zeroone-eleven · 3 years

Note

Somebody else by 1975 and it is sparkles-✨

It worked out well; Park Chaeyoung (Blackpink)

--------------------------------------------------

Summary: Y/N and Rosé had decided to announce their relationship, but they were gonna be extra about it.

Requested? ☑

"I remember it all too well."

--------------------٩(◕‿◕｡)۶--------------------

It was the final part of Y/N's concert and while he's used to the feeling of thousands of eyes on him, what's going to follow was something that made him extremely nervous, which says a lot. Especially when he was counting on the audience for his plan to work.

At the start of his career, he had announced that he was a Transgender man on all of his social media platforms. An action that took a lot of guts, and and an action that drew a lot of attention to him. At the rising point of his career when he was questioned about it in an interview, his answer was something that made him well known figure within the industry.

--------------------------------------------------

"Now Y/N at the very beginning of your career, you told the world that you were a trans man. That must've taken extreme bravery on your part seeing as those people who are against your community- The LGBT community, can be downright nasty and ruthless in 'Expressing' their dislike. What mae you decide to do this so early on in your time in the spotlight?"

Y/N smiles in his seat, switching from a laid back posture to one that elegantly demands attention, his next words being the ones that made him an icon amongst allies and LGBT people alike. "I am an advocate of LGBT rights before I am an artist, at the very start of my career I wanted to make it clear that I didn't want bigots to be a part of my following or an avid listener of my music and while I'm a man who values my privacy, I value honesty and transparency just as much. So if you're someone who believes that transgender people are just 'Confused' or that they're a 'Crime' against nature? Then go ahead and consider me your worst nightmare."

--------------------------------------------------

Y/N had been sitting on a chair for quite a few moments now, holding a Q&A onstage before he stands up and decides to follow through with the first part of his plan. "Alright, now today's intermission, I'm going to do a cover of my most favorite song called 'Somebody Else by The 1975'. Oh and don't worry you guys, the Q&A will still continue after this cover." The stadium fills with loud screams and cheers from the people watching as he places his mic back on its stand and goes to pick up his electric guitar. The lights dim into a sunset red as the opening notes of the music fill out through the speakers, Y/N starts singing and playing his guitar as the crowd claps along to the beat.

At the start of the second verse, Y/N takes off his guitar and takes the mic off of the stand, walking back to the guitar stand, he puts the instrument down before walking back to the front of the stage and hyping the people up to sing along with him in the pre-chorus. The entrance platform that had sunk back down starts rising as a distinctly feminine voice fills the stadium at the start of the chorus. Y/N smiles widely as the stage screens show Rosé walking towards him, offering her hand. He takes it and raises their hands up, leading the Blackpink member into a twirl, the crowd has gone wild at this point and the duo are pretty sure that somebody or multiple people in the audiences are Blinks seeing the way they've started chanting Rosé's name even without Y/N introducing her beforehand.

The bridge part comes along and the two singers alternate their lines. When the instrumental hits, Rosé takes his hands and starts dancing along to the beat, dorkily smiling and roping the man into dancing along. When the final chorus comes, Y/N and Rosé sing together, motioning for the crowd to sing along and the stadium fills with the sounds of music and the combined voices of a chanting crowd.

The song comes to an end with loud cheers for the two vocalists who are now smiling widely while catching their breaths. Y/N offers his hand to Rosé and when she takes it, the two raise their hands and perform a bow. He lets go of her hand once they've come up from the bow, turning to face her before speaking. "May I introduce, Park Chaeyoung of Blackpink everyone."

The woman in question laughs, shaking her head before going to bow once again and waving to the crowd with both hands, Y/N decides to push his luck. "Also known as Rosé of Blackpink, or Rosie, or Foodsé, or Chipm-" He runs as she jokingly tries to swat at his shoulder.

The cheers continue and the two laugh with each other before Rosè speaks to the crowd. "So how did you guys like our cover?" She's answered with loud cheers and Y/N's manager signals at the two from behind the curtain, raising both his hands up. 10 minutes left, Y/N nods at him and smiles while Rosé turns her attention back to the crowd, he gives the singers a thumbs up with a dorky smile before taking his leave. Y/N shakes his head in humor.

"I'm pretty sure I'm speaking for both me and Y/N over here when I say that we're happy to see you guys loved it." Y/N turns to Rosé to agree with her statement. Y/N speaks into the mic saying that he and Rosé will spend the last ten minutes of the concert for the Q&A. The following minutes fly by with questions aimed at Y/N, questions aimed at Rosé as well as questions aimed at both come in droves, until Y/N announce that the next question will be the last one before the event comes to an end and they have to start saying goodbye. Multiple people raise their hand, and he leaves it up to Rosé to pick who gets to ask the final question. She gives her mic to a girl in the front row, and the girl states her question.

"How did you come up with the idea to have Rosé make a special appearance for a cover? Going by your latest Instagram posts before this album dropped, it seemed like you guys were writing songs together. So we were really hyped for a collab." The fan hands the mic back to Rosé who smiles at Y/N as he takes a deep breath, steeling himself for what's to come next. The Western singer brings his mic up to his lips to answer.

"There's a pretty good reason for this cover actually. 'Somebody Else' is a song that holds special meaning for the both of us, besides being our favorite song." Y/N motion for Rosé to take the lead, and she steps closer to him before speaking. "There was a point in me and Y/N's life that we didn't know where we stood. It a point we could sort of compare to the kid's game: Tag." She looks over to the man beside her, silently asking if he wants to back out of it. Instead Y/N takes her hand, interlocks their fingers and squeezes. Go on, I'm ready.

"Long story short is that I was hung up and broken hearted over this person and he was hung up over me." Collective gasps resound through out the stadium. After all, the only thing they know about you and Rosé relationship up until this point was that she was helping you write songs. You bring your mic up to your lips and speak. "The pictures on my Instagram of her looking at the lyrics I wrote? That wasn't Rosé helping me write. That was Chaeyoung reading what I wrote about her." The crowd goes crazy over the newfound information, and Y/N's pretty sure that they miss the way he referred to her using her real name instead of her stage name. But Chaeyoung catches onto it and she smiles softly at the man.

"I can't even begin to describe how thankful I am to Y/N by the way. Staying up countless nights and listening to me ramble on about being torn up, being there for me in every single way, helping me heal and doing all of this without expecting anything in return. Such a gentleman really." The crowd collectively 'Awwwwws' and Y/N hangs his head low, hiding his blush from everyone, Rosé laughs as Y/N looks at the ceiling, composing himself before speaking.

"I would never expect anything in return from you and you don't have to thank me either, I was just doing what a friend would've done at a time like that. Anyways, I stuck by her in those times all while all I could think of afterwards was how stupid the person who broke her heart was, all while I wished I was the one she had ended up with instead of them. I never even hinted at how I felt about her in those times, much less actually tell her. I promised myself I wouldn't tell her how I felt until the time was right. I didn't want her to feel guilty or pressured at all by what I had to say." Y/N looks from the crowd infront of him to Rosé before continuing "Time passed and her heartbreak had healed. But she still wasn't ready for a relationship for a while after that whole ordeal, so I kept my promise and I waited."

"When I had told my members and Y/N that I was finally ready for another relationship- That like, I was completely okay. Y/N decided to court me instead of asking me outright to be his girlfriend. Can you believe this sap?" The crowd laughs with Rosé as Y/N's jaw hits the floor, he walks away from Rosé and heads to the other side of the stage. He crouches and points to Rosé "I was being noble, chivalrous and mind you I was trying to prove that I was boyfriend material! Then she goes and calls me a sap?! I can't believe this..." Y/N lowers the mic and shakes his head in mock disbelief. Rosé doubles over in laughter before walking over to him and resting her free hand on his shoulder.

"Yes, I'm calling you a sap because you are one. But it worked out didn't it?" She looks down at Y/N before continuing. "I gladly said yes." The crowd goes crazy, people cheering, some were jumping, and the others were speechless.

Y/N smiles, a full smile from ear to ear as he takes Chaeyoung's hand on his shoulder to bring it to his lips. "Yeah, yeah it worked out well in the end didn't it?"

--------------------٩(◕‿◕｡)۶--------------------

A/N: Damn writing in 3rd person is a TASK. I might never do it again, I hope this was good enough? I'm not too sure about the ending but I liked the idea of them announcing their relationship infront of a crowd instead of doing it via a social media post. So yeah.

#Blackpink #Blackpink x Reader #Park Chaeyoung #Park Chaeyoung x Reader #Rosé #rosé x reader #reader!insert #TransMale!Reader #Male!Reader #Park Chaeyoung x Trans male!Reader #Rosé x Trans Male!Reader #Park Chaeyoung x Male!Reader #Rosé x Male!Reader

106 notes · View notes

hello-im-not-a-possum · 3 years

Text

YEEHAW IT’S MIDNIGHT WHICH MEANS IT’S AUGUST 1ST WHICH MEANS INK DEMONTH SO I CAN FINALLY POST THIS NOW:

1. Pride

Diversity win! There is not a single cishet in the hivemind of ink creatures (To their knowledge) that you slaughter on a daily basis to make yourself beautiful! AKA: Possum has a fuck ton of LBGT+ headcanons regarding the BATIM cast and is happy to use this DeMonth prompt to indulge them. (Set before the loop starts, but after Buddy Boris meets/befriends the lost ones.)

Malice flicked through the channels of her cameras, trying to find more prey in her territory, and stopped when she saw a gathering of the lost and the searching (and exactly one Boris, the most perfect one she had ever seen.) in the Heavenly toy’s lobby, their prophet was brazenly sitting on the side of the waterfall as if he did not fear the ink when he should have.

Her ears steamed with anger as she saw that group, it was far too large for her to deal with on her own and too far away from the Projectionist’s grounds for her to manage to lure him to them. But on the bright side, she could learn some important information from them, after all, with how casually the prophet was sitting and gesturing and how the other freaks in the crowd were responding, this was clearly not one of his normal sermons.

(“I still find it rather funny that almost none of us are straight and that the few straight ones among us are trans, it’s like all this time we thought we were sheep hiding away in wolves’ clothing among wolves, unaware that the “wolves” were simply other sheep in hiding as well!”)

[Funnily enough, I’d rather be a sheep than a wolf, I think it makes more sense for me to be an animal that’s helpful to others but also easily scared.] The Boris wrote on a typewriter. [Or at least, I wish I had some kind of input on what I am, but I doubt I’d make myself an animal…]

(“Speaking of which...”) The lost one next to the wolf whispered in his ear as she looked over his typing. (“How are you holding up, Buddy?”)

Instead of typing, the wolf drew himself shrugging and put a bunch of question marks around him, then stuck the drawn-on paper in his typewriter and added to it.

[It’s hard to think most of the time, Boris always seems stronger when I’m alone, but I know the Ink demon will find us if I stay with you, this hunger is driving me crazy, and I just wanna go home. But on the bright side, I don’t have to deal with periods, chest pain from binding, or people condescendingly calling me ‘Miss Lewek’ anymore.]

She turned on the sound in that room, watching them like one would watch a Tv drama, but what she heard caught her off guard.

“So as long as we’re being honest about ourselves with each other…” The lost one stood up and pointed accusingly at Sammy. “Were you and Joey and a thing all along before the machine came into the picture!?”

If she was drinking water, she would’ve spat it right back out. Sammy, with Joey?! In the latter’s dreams, maybe! Even a few of the other lost ones looked shocked at the question, the Boris even gasped loud enough for it to be audible.

“Technically yes, but not by choice, mind you.”

“WHAT THE FUCK?!”

What the fuck indeed random lost one. The angel wished that she didn’t hear that, but now that she couldn’t unsee it, at least it made a little bit of sense in hindsight. After all, in her eyes, they were awful enough to deserve each other.

“...Why?”

“It’s just, well... somebody had to keep his eyes from wandering to the lambs- err- younger, more naive, less experienced employees, not children (to my knowledge). And at the time, I really thought that he did at least care about me beyond our work relationships, at least a little bit… But from what I’ve seen, I believe the only things he had ever truly loved were himself, and the idealized versions he had made of other people. His ‘dream versions’ of them, if you will.”

“And this whole time, I thought he was running off with Susie with all those lunch dates! Or where the three of you all… yaknow, *together* together?”

“Not knowingly… However I wouldn’t put it past Joey to cheat on people. As for Susie... I did like her, maybe even love her in a way, but I doubt I could ever love her in the way she wanted me to love her, and-or love her carnally. I don’t even think I could fake it like I could for Joey, she was never signing my checks and wasn’t holding that over my head so I’d be too disgusted to even try.”

Malice was almost about to march down there herself and push him into the ink, but she knew this troupe all too well, and knew that sometimes this place worked on story logic, he’s now going to say something that alters the context of that statement enough to not justify her going over there and slam dunking him into the ink.

“Now that I think of it, I don’t think that I’ve ever loved… anyone in that sense. I can’t think of a single person or situation where the idea of doing that is anything other than gross at best. In fact, there was someone who was close to me a long time ago, someone who, while I have long forgotten now, would perhaps even be what one could consider a soulmate. Even then, the mere thought of doing that with them still makes me queasy…” The prophet sighed. “I suppose I am simply meant to remain alone in religious celibacy. A relationship of that kind would interfere too much with my worship anyway.”

"Ahh fahr foehck's sake... I can't believe dat it's dis foehckin stupid..." A more lucid, absolute giant of a searcher in the back of the crowd slapped his forehead.

“It?” Malice repeated curiously. “Huh… maybe it and I had more in common than we thought.”

“You're clearly a sex-repoehlsed asexual, you doehmbass! literally everyahne who's ever been in de dark poehddles at de same time as you figured dis ooeht befahre you ded!” He shouted through cupped hands. “celibate people are people who WANT sex, boeht dahn't poehrsue it fahr variooehs reasahns, dey ARE NAHT people who are desgoehsted wit sex to de point where dey legitimately throw oehp and feel 'ahrreble after doin de nahrmal vanella stoehff! Stahp foehckin foehckin people when you're clearly naht cahmfortable wit it, and you and future partner..s? 'll be 'appier wit yooehr rahmantic poehrsuits!”

The searcher, upon realizing that he had furiously sworn at the Prophet, their leader, the one who does not fear anything within the studio, not even the deepest depths of the dark puddles, and most terrifyingly of all; the former music director, he slinked into a puddle within the crowd in fear of being the target of reawakened ancient wrath. Everybody else looked back and forth to the prophet and back at the searcher who spoke out as they remained in stunned silence, even their eavesdropper was worried for his fate, even if in her case she feared how the show would end rather than his outcome. Surprisingly, and luckily for him, the Prophet broke the tense silence by laughing in that caught-off-guard tone of it.

“While you were rather… crude about it, what you’ve said does make a lot more sense then Joey being so bad at sex that he turned me away from men altogether, even if it is funny to assume that he was.”

“A-aye… and I can't believe dat you wrahte an entire foehckin sahng abooeht it! 'ow ded you naht get fired fahr dat?!”

“Good question, I wish I could remember the answer…”

[Maybe you had blackmail on Drew?] The Boris typed out and handed to Sammy.

“Yeah, maybe because you used to be so close to him, you saw skeletons that Joey would want to keep in the closet” His lost-one friend added.

“Like HIMSELF!” A voice from the back added, making the others in the room burst into laughter.

With the tension in the room gone, the group just went back to talking about either journeys they took to become comfortable with themselves, or the various past relationships that they had, or wished they had or in some peoples’ cases, all three.

Malice continued to watch them bitterly. It was as if they had either forgotten what the outside world was like to people like them or they simply didn’t care, and she wasn’t thinking about the ink that made up their bodies. Part of her envied how freely they had talked about themselves and each other, part of her felt like she had been smacked across the face, and a third part of her felt lonely. All of them seemed so happy telling their stories and building each other up, and here she was hiding away with her own story that she had wished to bury.

However, there was no iron clad law stating that she couldn’t tell them her own story. In fact, maybe if she came out of her own cage, made Sammy understand that big part of why voicing Alice was so important to her, made sure that it understood that as the very first explicitly female character she voiced, that Alice Angel was more than a beloved character to her, that she was a part of her, the biggest symbol of her own femininity, then maybe it would recognize the error of its ways. Maybe it would see how devastating it would be to be shunted aside without notice in favor of someone newer, prettier, ‘more feminine’...

She shut off the camera and thought it over, and she made up her mind. While she still didn’t want to share her story with everyone, Sammy needed to know it. Whether the Prophet liked it or not, she was going to pay it a visit.

#Bendy and the Ink Machine #ink demonth #pride #fanfic #Malice Angel #dot batim #buddy boris #sammy lawrence #lost ones batim #searchers batim #shawn flynn

29 notes · View notes

itsclydebitches · 3 years

Text

RWBY Recaps: Volume 8 “Strings”

Happy Saturday, RWBY friends! I am, quite obviously, going to dive into the recap in just a moment, but first I wanted to take a short detour to discuss the elephant in the tumblr room. Namely, Supernatural.

For those of you out of the loop, the tl;dr is that a fifteen year, beloved show ended with a truly horrendous finale. Specifically, the finale rejected everything that the show had been building towards: the logical conclusion to character arcs, the theme that “family don’t end in blood,” the potential for a queer romantic relationship… I could go on. The point I want to make is that the fandom had every reason to believe we’d be getting these things. This isn’t a case of fans upset that the finale didn’t go the way they wanted as an individual viewer, but rather that the finale didn’t go the way the show clearly and explicitly said it would. It’s not an exaggeration to say that in many respects, viewers were straight up lied to.

(I recommend reading the reviews.)

What does this all have to do with RWBY? Well, I can’t help but think that history is repeating itself. Certainly there are some notable similarities between the two series. Both have long, meandering plotlines with no clear end in sight (though I hope RWBY doesn’t reach the 15 Volume mark…). Both began with a small, core cast, but quickly expanded—generating the expectation that these now equally important characters will be given their due. Both have moved from the small conflict of fighting everyday monsters to a god-based mythology. Both have a popular queer relationship dangled in front of the viewers, featuring scenes where they’re “obviously” in love… but will it ever be confirmed? Both have a fanbase that says loudly and confidently that the writers know what they’re doing. Just wait! It’s all been planned! We’ll be rewarded for our patience and soon all the naysayers will be proven wrong.

Thing is, the Supernatural fandom wasn’t rewarded. Right up until a week ago those fans—myself included—had faith that the writers knew what they were doing because they can’t really be that out of touch with their own story...right? It’s not possible. Yet they were, it was, and now that I’ve gotten solid proof of precisely how far a show can go to reject its own logic, themes, and premise, that just makes me more wary of RWBY’s mistakes. Before I had a solid faith that things couldn’t possibly get that bad, that no matter how much RWBY might be messing up in the short term, it will undoubtedly pull it together overall, because what show wouldn’t? Especially a show with such promise and, at times, wonderful storytelling. Well, Supernatural didn’t manage it and frankly I’m not sure what to do with that information.

Seriously. I don’t have any grand conclusion here. It’s not my intention to suggest that anyone should stop watching RWBY, or to claim that it will absolutely fail because Supernatural did. Obviously, we don’t know what will happen until we get to see it in the show. I only want to acknowledge these parallels and the similar journey I see both fanbases on. I can’t help but wonder if, a couple years from now, RWBY fans will be making incredibly optimistic posts about how it’s all coming together, just have some faith, everyone who says that the group won’t get a satisfying ending, or Blake and Yang won’t be confirmed are just mean trolls… only to wake up that Saturday morning and get another metaphorical slap in the face.

It’s something to think about.

But here I’ve spent a page talking about the wrong show. Let’s get into the episode!

We open on a black screen with lots of ambiguous noises. At first I thought this was Oscar struggling in the Hound’s grip or something, but then I remembered that RWBY likes to insert an episode between cliffhangers. I watched Ironwood (presumably) shoot a guy and he only came back this week (though that question still isn’t answered. At this point I kind of wonder if it will be). Oscar was kidnapped last week, which means we won’t get to see him until next week. Or… two weeks from now? RT skips the week of Thanksgiving, don’t they? Sounds familiar doesn’t it? Something horrible happens to Oscar and we need to wait two weeks to find out how it’s resolved.

Watch him escape the Hound off screen and return to the group with a new outfit 😂

So it’s not Oscar we hear, but Ruby, the last one coming out of the tube. Weiss is in the process of pulling Nora’s ear for that stunt… with a frankly strange looking hand. What’s up with RWBY animating weird hands lately? I’m pretty sure that’s not how anatomy works.

Anyway, Nora counters that this was a “Once in a lifetime experience,” but they were all going to go through the tubes regardless. Weiss isn’t pissed that you sent her through, she’s pissed that you did it unexpectedly when she was alone, heading into enemy territory. But of course, there’s no one in the room to hinder them, so the mistake is meaningless.

We’re setting the tone again though. For the first half of this episode everything is sunshine and giddy adventure, which doesn’t fit the situation at all. It also creates emotional whiplash when I’m suddenly supposed to be super worried about things later on. This sort of about-face works once in a blue moon, as an emotional punch, like we see in Mulan:

But RWBY does it every other episode, which makes the overall tone of the series confusing instead. Half the time RWBY feels like two different stories—the cartoony tale of girls going on fun adventures, and the traumatic tale of a fantasy war—that have been badly spliced together.

“Alight, Robo-Girl, which way?” May asks and Penny demonstrates why she’s the best for sneaking into a facility. She’s able to map out the whole place, including seeing where everyone is so they can avoid detection. Kudos to RT for going this route. I was worried that they would have Ruby and the others straight up attacking Atlas grunts, knocking them out/potentially even killing them because who cares, right? They’re the bad guys! So I’m glad they’re working to get in and out undetected. Granted, we see in some places that they’re clearly willing to fight the soldiers if it comes to that—they’re reaching for their weapons when Penny opens the final door, expecting the room to be full of people. They were going to attack—but at least they’re trying to lessen that conflict as much as possible. That’s the sort of choice I expect to see from heroes and I’m glad we got it here.

After scouting the area Penny corrects May: “And my name is Penny,” to which Ruby gives a satisfied “Heh.” I’ve got no problem with Penny rejecting nicknames, even potentially well-meaning ones, because she’s always struggled with her status as a real girl and her name is her own. She gets to decide what others call her. I do, however, have a problem with making the presumed trans character the one who is corrected. Granted yes, we haven’t gotten confirmation in the show that May is trans, but RT doesn’t get to cash in on that rep without likewise suffering the consequences for how the character is treated. You’re telling me that a trans woman is going to roll her eyes when someone asks her to use a specific name? Please give May flaws, yes, she’s a person, but out of all the millions of flaws across the human spectrum, this is the one we’re shown?

Not to mention Ruby’s continued attitude. It’s like, ‘Yeah, May. Stop being a horrible person who draws attention to the fact that Penny is a robot. I never did that.’ Except when Ruby first met her she didn’t know Penny was a robot. Just like she didn’t know Blake was a faunus—something we’re reminded of this episode. We might assume Ruby wouldn’t have ever made any missteps at the beginning of these relationships, but the fact remains that she got to know both girls before their minority status was ever revealed. Ruby loved them before she ever had to grapple with their differences.

Put in her place, May then demonstrates that she can make lots of people invisible, not just herself. That’s handy. She creates an invisibility bubble that reminds me of Harry’s invisibility cloak. In the sense that others might not be able to see you, but they can still hear and touch you, which makes sneaking around still pretty challenging.

No sooner have I thought that then two guards get into the elevator with them. The group keeps quiet as the duo discusses how no one can get close to Salem’s storm without “getting shocked right out of the air.” Interesting. And frankly one hell of a roadblock if the Hound escapes into the clouds. Oscar may be gone for a while if he doesn’t escape on his own... The woman also comments about how creepy it is that all the grimm are just hanging out, waiting. It’s “worse than if they’d attacked.”

No it’s not! RT, stop trying to implement the idea that Salem withholding her forces is some epically cool choice. She should have decimated everyone by now and the fact that she hasn’t just shows how transparent the problem is: you’ve created a villain that’s too powerful and now you don’t know what to do with her.

As the group sneaks out of the elevator Nora grins and presses all the buttons, which is, as expected, a dumb move. They’re supposed to be sneaking into this base. If they’re caught they’re going to be thrown in jail at best, killed at worst, but Nora wants to risk that for a practical joke? Again and again we see this insistence on incorporating comedy where it’s not only unnecessary, but actively interferes with other aspects of the scene.

Reaching a terminal, Penny inserts her finger and gains access via Pietro’s credentials. She’s really demonstrating this episode why she’s… pretty terrifying? I mean, Penny is an incredibly powerful fighter with a computer’s view of the world, access to everything in the most powerful Kingdom alongside its information, and she now has Maiden powers to boot. Which, I should add, it took her one fight to master (because remember, the heroes are now always as strong as they need to be to win…). Now that Watts is planning to hack her, I expect her to be an incredibly formidable enemy, just given the amount she could potentially do. I think Penny herself is too kind to exploit all that potential and as we’ll see via Pietro briefly taking control, she doesn’t always have the knowledge to use the tools at her disposal. But in the hands of someone like Watts? He’ll turn Penny into the ultimate weapon.

Access granted, they learn that they have to go “Right through central command!” Of course, Penny makes it sound like a fun game and the spy-movie music/cartoon lecture doesn’t help. Again, tone. It’s adorable! It just doesn’t fit sneaking into a military base with your lives on the line while Salem waits outside. That was a RWBY Chibi moment.

Penny explains—twice—that Ruby can use her semblance to fly them all through central command and it’s treated like a revelation. At first, I was pretty confused because Ruby has been dong this for ages? She carried Weiss in “Argus Limited” and Nora during the Geist fight. But upon close inspection, what Penny seems to have “figured out” is that Ruby can carry multiple people at once because the “mass doesn’t matter.” Okay. Not a contradiction then, though I think RT could have made it a little more clear that Ruby was shocked at the idea of carrying multiple people, not carrying someone at all.

What I do take issue with though is Ruby mastering this skill instantaneously. I mean, why is Ruby being forced to try this on the fly (pun not intended)—Penny has known the layout of the building since they made this plan. She knew they had to get past central control and that it would be packed with people. She’s obviously thought about Ruby’s semblance a great deal—and why is she succeeding? Give me a Volume 7 where Ruby actually trains in this technique, set up via Harriet’s comment early on about her semblance, and then she’s victorious here when it finally matters. Or give me Ruby assuming she can pull off this incredibly difficult skill only to fall out of her semblance halfway through, a roomful of Atlas personnel staring at them. Then what?

Not this.

This is a character who does everything perfectly on the first try without ever having to fail. Ruby is boring like this.

Crisis averted, we transfer to Ironwood who is… working with Watts.

What else is there to say? I’ve already laid out all the reasons why this is stupid and makes no sense. Others keep coming onto my posts to explain to me how Ironwood’s awful deeds up until now fully show his decent into villainy, conveniently ignoring the numerous limitations he was under and his choice to do what he thought was best for the world using inaccurate information. Ironwood was always a divisive character and many are happy to ignore the years’ worth of deconstruction done—a man who looks like the Evil Military General but actually isn’t—because they never liked him to begin with. Not liking him is fine, no one has to like any character, but I’m honestly shocked by the number of viewers who refuse to acknowledge how bad the writing is, even if it means defending a character they hate a teensy tiny bit (#SupernaturalVibes). As a friend put it, Ironwood now feels like a caricature of his former self, a Pure Evil Ironwood who appeared out of nowhere and is now here to stay. He shoots kids. He shoots unarmed civilians. He teams up with Salem’s men and tries to hack Penny. These are undeniably horrible acts, they’ve just been given to a character who never would have done them until RT randomly flipped the Evil switch.

The “RWBY” tag, alongside all the fluff moments of this episode, is now filled with posts encouraging Marrow to turn, yelling at the Ace Ops for being “bootlickers,” and capslock screaming at anyone who dared to speak up for Ironwood. It still sucks to have bad writing twisted into an attack on the fans and it’s going to continue to suck until at least the rest of Volume 8. I’d like to again remind everyone that Qrow teamed up with Tyrian a few episodes, yet because he’s again in Ruby’s graces, that was twisted into a ‘not that bad’ situation. The issue isn’t really that Ironwood is teaming up with one of Salem’s subordinates, but that he’s doing it to go against RWBYJNOR… the second a character teams up with Salem to get what Ruby wants (to not have her team in jail) then that’s totally fine… but that’s a wrinkle a lot of people are happy to ignore.

So yeah, Ironwood is an idiot now too. Like Qrow also was last Volume. He really thinks Watts isn’t going to betray him somehow? Although, I do wonder if the chance to ruin Pietro’s creation outweighs his loyalty to Salem, but the point is that Ironwood can’t be sure of that either. At least he’s smart enough to keep Watts under continuous guard. He puts his hand on Watts’ shoulders and goes, “I’d hate for us to have to try motivating you. Again.”

So he tortures people too now? Like I said, caricature. This was Ironwood and we were given no clear idea of where he disappeared to.

RIP a great character.

Watts notices though that Pietro has apparently accessed a secure area and alerts Ironwood to it. I laugh that the information is just ¡EMERGENCY! In large, red letters. Ironwood immediately makes an announcement for everyone to be on guard. It’s a level 3 lockdown — that won’t impede the group leaving via airship! — and they’re to use “lethal force” if necessary. Weiss is disgusted.

As much as I disagree with making Ironwood into a shoot first, ask questions later kind of guy — he’s definitely wrong to be doing this — I also find myself rolling my eyes at reactions like that. Yes, Weiss. You attacked four operatives until they were knocked unconscious. Prevented an entire city from escaping Salem’s wrath, endangering them all. Now you’re breaking into the most classified room in the Kingdom to steal an equally qualified project and use it for your own means. There’s no reason why Ironwood would level his might against you. Is death still an extreme response? Yes. Should Weiss be acting like Ironwood is crazy for responding to them in an extreme manner? No. Her remark makes it sound like Ironwood is attacking her poor, innocent, defenseless team… not the team that’s been lying to him, betraying him, attacking him, and stealing from him. Not the team carrying deadly weapons into a facility to take what they want at any cost.

With their presence known, May wants to go grab an airship. That’s the series now.

Meanwhile, Penny insists that they can still complete their mission and we see Nora come up with some sort of plan.

Except, what plan was this?? What did she say to the group? ‘Hey, let’s wait around until some guy conveniently walks by with a full cup of coffee. Then we can trip him and the mug will fly alllll the way across this gap to land on a terminal, startling at least two workers. Except this guy will be hated by the whole room because he’s always messing things up—his coffee mug has been changed from #1 Dad to #1 Dud—so that this little mishap will create a ruckus that gets everyone involved, giving us the opportunity to slip by them all.’

Seriously, what? This kind of “plan” only works with someone like Clover, where we know he has a good luck semblance and thus all these unlikely pieces fall into place. I could absolutely buy Clover smiling smugly, working under the knowledge that he just has to wait around a few minutes and something will come along that works entirely in his favor. But Nora? How did she know any of this would happen? Obviously she couldn’t have, so what exactly was their intention if this coffee carrying, hated guy didn’t show up? RWBY, your contrived plots are showing.

I do, however, love the grimm Jaws poster. Jaws is an absolute favorite of mine, so seeing a reference to it in RWBY? A funny one at that? It almost makes up for how bad this episode is lol.

Because frankly I’m bored. The group sneaks around, criticizes May and Ironwood, briefly confuses me about Ruby’s semblance knowledge, and gets through tons of Atlas personnel in the stupidest way possible. I have to watch this guy running out of the room with coffee on his pants screaming, “WHHHYYY???” and he doesn’t notice the five girls standing right next to him. It’s silly. It’s boring. Luckily for RWBY, things are about to pick up in the second half.

After Ruby gets them upstairs and the final room is also conveniently devoid of people, Pietro takes control of Penny—including yellow possession eyes like Oscar has with Ozpin—and he...gets Amity started. That’s it. After a whole volume of ‘It’s not finished yet’ and ‘We barely have the resources’ and ‘Robyn stole what we were using to do idek what with’ he presses buttons for a while and they’re in. How good for them!

I do love that Penny calls Pietro “Dad” though. I’m here for the android-father relationship.

While Pietro works we turn to Blake, Weiss, and Nora. Blake tries to convince the audience that Ruby and Yang had an actual fight with, “I’ve never seen Yang and Ruby fight like this.” Yeah, because no one in this group has ever said the sliiiiightest thing against Ruby, so you all read the tinniest disagreement as a “fight” to be worried about. I mean, doesn’t RT have friends to draw inspiration from? They’ve never disagreed about Huge and Complex Questions before? Never gotten pissed and then shrugged it off the next time you want to text? RWBY’s idea of a diverse friend group feels like many other writers’ idea of a sibling relationship: anyone with an actual sibling goes, “What is this?” Speaking of, Weiss explains that sisters often have “very different ideas about what’s right” as if, again, people don’t have different ideas? Just in general? Why is this suddenly a sister thing? She’s clearly thinking about Winter, but doesn’t actually bring it up, so all we’re left with is the same situation we had last Volume. Weiss thinks she’s right, Winter is wrong, and they’re just going down their separate roads because there’s definitely no reason to re-examine any choices here. It’s all static.

Until Winter betrays Ironwood, of course.

Nora tries to reassure Blake that the group will be fine (ha) even though they’ve split, the irony being that we, the audience, know they just got wrecked by the Hound. Jaune is a great leader though, Oscar has grown so much, Yang could defend them all in a fight, and Ren… well, she can’t think of anything to say about Ren. I hate the Nora is acting like Ren has drawn away from her for no reason, after she chose to kiss him—without consent—rather than listening to what was bothering him, then proceeded to pretend that this mystery problem never existed. What does she expect? I do, however, like the general acknowledgement that she doesn’t know who she is without Ren. Who is Nora? Someone who is “strong and hit[s] stuff?”

See, this feels like RT writing self-consciously because Nora doesn’t have much of a personality. Oh, on a surface level she’s bursting with it, but past the bubbly exterior? That single layer? We can add maybe one thing to this “Likes Ren, is strong, hits stuff” list: she’s funny. That’s it. Anything else we might add like “she’s loyal” or “she’s kind” is just a generic characteristic of this entire team. They’re all meant to be crazy talented good guys and even the “is strong” aspect is suspect when others frequently pull off attacks as showy as Nora’s hammer hits. So who is she? What are Nora’s dreams? What are her hobbies? Her fears? Her history? We’ve seen a single flashback of her on the streets and one scene back at Beacon where she listens to music and reads a magazine. Seven years worth of material and that’s it. There’s a reason why the go-to, non-combat action for Nora in fics is “makes pancakes.” We know so little about her still.

So I was excited for a brief, shining moment. Yes! Explore who Nora is outside of being strong and hitting stuff! … and then her big action this episode is, as she says, being strong and hitting something. Don’t get me wrong, outside of that setup it’s pretty epic. I like Nora going to those lengths to save Penny and I absolutely love the repercussions of the choice: a broken aura, passing out, and badass lightning scars all over her arms and neck (especially when women often aren’t allowed to accumulate scars in visual media). That’s pretty damn awesome. It’s just that it comes on the heels of the story insisting that Nora is more than this, that we’ll learn something new about her… and we haven’t. This is indeed cool, but we already knew that Nora was willing to crazy lengths by hitting things really hard. That’s already her established norm.

At least this moment has some really nice characterization alongside the stupidity. The conversation between Ruby and Penny is just plain stupid. Penny wants to stay to help with the evacuations, but Pietro says she should come with him in Amity. Why? As Ruby says, because then she’ll be up in the sky and Salem won’t be able to access the relic.

That’s what Ironwood wanted to do! We could have had this conflict episodes ago with you all working with him! I really can’t with this cast. Also, the rest of this is still confusing. I thought pretty much everyone was in the slums by now, so what evacuation are they talking about? Do they plan to evacuate everyone in Mantle out of the kingdom somehow… like Ironwood wanted to do with Atlas? And why are they acting like Amity is evacuating some people too? I thought they were just using it as a communication device? To add insult to injury, Ruby then contradicts herself a minute later when she tells Harriet that Ironwood can’t have the relic because “Salem will find her way to the relic no matter where you go.” Ruby, if Salem can access the relic high in the sky she can also access Penny in the sky. If you believe that literally nowhere is safe then why are you sending Penny away under the claim that she—and via her the Relic—will be safer? If you want Penny in Amity to lessen the chance of Salem getting the Relic, why can’t Penny be in Atlas while simultaneously (hopefully) getting a whole slew of people to safety?

I’m continually confused by this “plan” of theirs. Their claims just flip-flop according to what (supposedly) contrasts them with Ironwood. Even though that’s not actually the case.

Penny is me, sad while watching this train wreck of a scene.

So yeah, the Ace Ops are here. I’ve wondered since the trailer why Weiss looked smug while everyone else was startled. Turns out it’s because of her line, “So, your first time losing to us wasn’t enough?” I can’t express how much I dislike all the girls’ personalities now. I want to shake some compassion and humility into them. Plus, they never should have won that fight in the first place. Marrow yells, “We were holding back!” but coming from the team’s weakest member it reads as defensive. Like we’re supposed to go, ‘Lol yeah right, Marrow. Just admit you got your ass kicked,’ even tough the Ace Ops should have wiped the floor with them, holding back or not. That’s my biggest takeaway from this fight: it’s the reverse of what we should have gotten. The Ace Ops should have beaten Team RWBY with ease and struggled greatly against an android Maiden, not falling before a bunch of teens and succeeding against Penny if not for Nora’s timely breakthrough. Your half-trained cast of growing heroes should not come across as more powerful than an intelligently designed weapon now wielding magic.

Before the fight starts we get a whole lot of lines that are, frankly, frustrating. Vine tells Penny, “I thought you were supposed to protect the people, not hurt them” which is true enough. Penny is taking action that is putting a lot of people in danger, regardless of the fact that Ruby is at the helm. Problem is, the Ace Ops then blame her for Winter’s injuries and “stealing” the power? That’s not the issue here. The issue is Penny’s blind loyalty to Ruby, but by having the Ace Ops back a stance that is clearly inaccurate—Penny didn’t cause Winter’s injuries, Cinder did; Penny didn’t steal the powers, she was encouraged to take them—it makes them come across as Very Evil people who will twist things to make poor Penny look like the villain. Even if this is a case of Ace Ops having bad intel (which seems unlikely. Wouldn’t Winter have told them what happened?) RT has avoided letting the Ace Ops take a justified stance here because that would make them look too sympathetic… even though they do have multiple justified stances to take. Like, ‘Hey, stop keeping half a kingdom here where Salem can easily kill them all’ or, ‘Hey, why did you spend months betraying Ironwood and then turn on us instead of trying to find a compromise?’ Even, ‘Why did your uncle help kill our leader?’ There’s plenty that the Ace Ops should be rightfully pissed about, so choosing Penny and Winter out of everything feels like RT is firmly backing them into Ironwood’s corner: you’re just bad now and bad people blame innocent girls, rather than acknowledging the actual wrongs done against them.

So we have Ruby contradicting herself and the Ace Ops backing warped ideas that make them look worse than they actually are. Adding to the stupidity is the fact that Elm mentions that Winter is in “critical condition” and Weiss… doesn’t care. Harriet then tells Ruby that she’s “throwing [her] in jail right next to your uncle, runt” and... Ruby doesn’t care. Qrow is missing and Ruby just found out he’s been captured by Ironwood, yet there’s no reaction whatsoever. This show continues to go hard on the ‘screw adults’ mentality, huh? Ozpin needs to keep quiet and is horrible for coming back. Ironwood is now a cartoon villain. Winter made the wrong choice so no one cares about her anymore, not even her sister. The Ace Ops remain enemies despite trying to talk things out. Qrow? Barely know him. Who’s he? This is a Ruby loves Penny episode. There isn’t enough emotional nuance for her to care about him too.

The sad thing is I adore Nuts&Dolts. In a different context these moments would be a goldmine for me.

If anything, this episode feels worse than the majority of last week’s because there are good things here that have been thrown into a bad setup. I can’t get excited for the group’s battles when I see who they’re attacking. It’s hard to squee over Ruby hugging Penny when she doesn’t react to Qrow. Watching Nora go all Thor feels like it only has half its potential when it’s coming out of a very messing, ‘I’m more than just being strong and hitting things… which is why I’ll continue being strong and hitting things.’ RWBY has excellent moments set into a terrible story.

The fight, at least, is exciting. The Ace Ops goad Penny into stepping away so they can trap the rest of Ruby’s team—smart—and she’s forced to hold her own while Weiss tries to break through with her knight, then Nora overloads the system. To be frank, I’m not great at analyzing combat. Not unless I’m looking for something specific like whether a win is justified. I’ve already mentioned above the broad issue of the Ace Ops very nearly beating the most powerful fighter next to Salem herself, yet failing so spectacularly against Team RWBY. Outside of that context though? I really enjoyed this. Lots of tight action, creative attacks, teamwork, some emotional pauses throughout… it feels like a pretty solid battle. Put it on Youtube as a clip, outside of the rest of the story’s messiness, and you’ve got yourself a fantastic watch.

We can’t stay in the combat forever though. During all this Weiss calls the Ace Ops “cowards” for making it four vs. one. You know, RWBY should really just do away with dialogue and make the show purely action because the cast frequently sounds so stupid when they speak. Like her comment about Ironwood’s lockdown… really Weiss? ‘Yes, we might be wanted criminals who betrayed this group in the worst possible way, but how dare they not do the honorable thing and have three of their teammates sit out while trying to capture us? Even though the girl they’re trying to capture has magic. I mean, the nerve of them!’

Weiss, at this point I’m not sure how to explain to you that the people you’ve made into your enemies do not owe you a fair fight.

Another detail: we get to see Ruby fall off the edge of the walkway and this time she remembers she can fly! A definite improvement from Volume 6.

Finally: by the time Penny’s eyes go full Maiden in Elm’s grip, I think we’ve seen everything from our trailer. Episode 4 will truly be a mystery.

Ironwood has, of course, been watching the fight this whole time. When it looks like the Ace Ops will lose against the team he means to send in reinforcements, but Watts says he has “a message for your operatives.” Instead of capturing Penny they steal one of her swords instead, ending with a shot on Marrow looking conflicted.

Because remember, there’s no actual moral grayness in this story. The protagonists are right and everyone else is wrong. It’s (supposedly) black and white. Which means that if the Ace Ops have any hope of surviving this Volume and being seen as anything other than evil bootlickers, they have to join with Ruby. Marrow seems primed to do that.

Am I surprised? No. Disappointed? Always lol.

May has the airship ready to go and they fly off… despite the shields. And the lockdown. Consistency? Who’s she? Nora is said to be “in bad shape” and after another hug Penny leaves to hide in Amity, even though Ruby thinks that hiding is a useless, cowardly choice. Just not when she and her allies choose to do it.

We end the episode with Watts receiving Penny’s sword and making the statement, “If you can’t beat them… then make them join you.” I have to say, his cheesy villainy is something I continue to enjoy, even if it’s heavy handed at times. Watts is just fun. I do have to say though: if Penny is hacked, what does that say about her agency? We double-downed on the ‘real girl’ narrative by giving her the Maiden powers, but she’s simultaneously synthetic enough that a single piece of her can remove all autonomy? It once again feels like RT isn’t sure what point they’re trying to make, they’re just chucking a lot of themes at the wall and seeing what sticks. Still, we’ll have to let it all play out before making any judgements.

And that’s it for this week. It seems like this is a slightly shorter recap than normal, though that may be because I struggle with discussing pure action sequences, which made up a decent chunk of this episode. I’ll no doubt return to the Ace Ops vs. Penny fight when I’m not on a self-imposed, one day deadline for posting. The only thing left is to update the Bingo Card, but I don’t think we made any headway this week. So... good job, RWBY?

I’m still going to hold off on the civilian’s square until Salem’s army actually attacks, as well as the two day timeline square.

No Winter this episode

Watts is teaming up with Ironwood which is… so much worse than him teaming up with Jacques again. Does a square get an X if the canon is even worse than what you assumed it would be??

Maria was mentioned this episode. Jury’s out on whether she’ll actually do anything.

Atlas is still standing, we knew Penny was heading towards a hack so it’s not much of a cliffhanger, no Qrow, no Ozpin, no Neo or Cinder.

It certainly looks like we can check off “The team gets Amity up and running,” but let’s just see if there are any problems next episode. If the problem is only ‘We would have launched it if not for Salem’s attack’ or something, I’m checking it off. The point is it would have worked.

I’m also leaning towards “More obvious Blake/Yang implications without confirming a relationship” given Blake’s heart-to-heart with Nora… but let’s see if the Volume does anything more egregious.

All in all (and perhaps despite what I’ve written above), I don’t think it’s fair to totally drag this episode. As said, this feels like a strong episode in a bad story, something that I would have LOVED if a) Salem weren’t here and b) the ‘ethical dilemma’ wasn’t boiled down to a ‘Team Ruby is good’ and ‘Ironwood and everyone associated with him is evil’ situation. It’s an episode whose tone and character action belong in a different version of RWBY. If you gave us this fun episode in an earlier Volume against a Pure Evil antagonist? It would have been great.

Ah well. It is what it is. Expect more emotional whiplash when we come back and everyone learns that Oscar has been kidnapped by Salem’s talking pooch 🙃

See you then! 💜

#rwby #rwby spoilers #rwby volume 8 #rwby strings #mymetas #rwby recaps #apologies if this Recap is messier than normal #I have a zoom meeting in five minutes lol #gotta go fast!

54 notes · View notes

cibeewastaken · 4 years

Note

May you write some trans draco and supportive boyfriend harry fluff??😄💙💙

thank you for the prompt! I’ve never written trans characters before, and although I did research beforehand, if there is anything I got wrong or if I have written anything disrespectful, let me know and I will change it. Thank you to Shahar and Solana from the Drarry Discord that did a sensitivity read over this, and @pineau-noir for the beta!! thank you all!

2680 words. Professor drarry, coming out, getting together & established relationship, smitten Harry

Also: brief misgendering (not maliciously, toward the beginning), off-screen transphobic comment (toward the end, it is not explicitly written out), discussion of pregnancy.

Read on Ao3

****

Draco decided to come out because he dreamt of his mother.

It was on his thirty-fifth birthday, when he had gone out to Hogsmeade with Harry, Pansy, Greg and Granger the night before and drank themself silly. Weasley had moaned and cried about wanting to come but it was his turn to babysit. Draco had gotten so pissed that Harry had to carry him all the way back to Hogwarts and shushed him constantly when they got to the professor’s quarters because Draco had really wanted sing All About That Bass. Harry had to help him to bed and Draco had begged Harry to make him a cup of hot chocolate

That night he dreamt, as he was wont to do after drinking bottle after bottle of whiskey and falling asleep in that too warm state of being under layers of blankets and a belly full of hot drinks. He dreamt of the memory of sitting beside her bed moments before she died, trying to work up the courage to tell her; almost ran out the door to where Harry was waiting, and asked him for tips on how to be a brave person. But before he could come to any decision, his mother sighed, “I love you, my sweet, brave girl.” And the next moment, Draco had lost his chance.

He woke up, ten years later, wishing desperately again he could have told his mother.

Draco told Harry his decision the same day of the dream. Harry sat in the plush armchair in Draco’s room, watched Draco pace about with a cup of piping hot tea cradled in his hands. He listened intently to Draco going on and on, “I just woke up this morning, and I knew I was ready. I mean—okay, even if I am, how will I go about it? Write a public letter? An announcement during breakfast in the Great Hall? No, no, that’s the showman in me talking. Ah—should I ask for the Headmistress’s permission? I—”

Harry only cut him off then. “You shouldn’t have to,” he said. “You can just inform her, if you want.”

Draco softened. Blushed. “Yes,” he said. “Yes, you’re right.” He went and sat down on the other armchair, Harry’s eyes followed him with a fond smile.

“How about in class?” Draco asked.

“That certainly is when you are the most confident.” Harry smiled at him. “I think it’s a great idea.”

“You’re not going to talk me out of it?”

“I would never do that,” Harry said. “But can I ask why now?”

“‘May I ask’,” Draco corrected.

Harry gave him a look. Draco laughed before talking. “I’m ready. I want to stop hiding. I want to talk about my experience. I want to come out on my own terms, and I don’t want to leave any regret. Merlin, do you remember after the war, the amount of therapy we all did? It wasn’t until years later did I feel like I was healed enough from the war to talk about my gender identity with a professional. We had talked about coming out, or transitioning, and I had said I would like to come out when I’m happy again.”

Harry listened with a happy smile on his face. “You’re happy now,” he said.

Draco reached over and tucked a stray hair behind Harry’s ear. “I was scared of coming out when I told her that, that’s why I said I would only do it when I’m happy again. I had thought I would never be happy again.” He left his hand on Harry’s face. “I’ve been happy for a while now. I’ve been so comfortable with happy, that I needed my mother’s death to remind me at one point, I wasn’t.”

“It sucks that it took so long.”

“It took longer for you,” Draco murmured. Harry just smiled and pressed a kiss to Draco’s palm.

They allowed the comfortable silence to go on for a bit, but soon Draco started to fidget. “I know I’m hiding it incredibly well, but I am a bit frightened.”

Harry didn’t say, “You don’t have to do it right now if you’re not ready.” Because of course that went without saying. Though he did say, “I’ll be with you through it all.”

Ah, but that was stupid too, because that also went without saying in Draco’s opinion. Harry had always been there for him, throughout the years of teaching apprenticeship in Hogwarts and through studying for their Magical Academic Skills for Educators and through their first classes as professors. Harry was the first person he came out to after his friends in Eighth Year. So, Harry needn’t say he would be with Draco through everything! It was a given—Draco wanted to accuse Harry of saying it just to see Draco blush.

In the end, Draco just muttered a lame, “Thank you.”

Then all too soon, Harry had to leave for his first class, and he lingered by Draco’s door. “Do you want to take dinner with me in my room? Or your room? Or just, somewhere without a whole school worth of children?”

Draco knew he was wearing a dopey and besotted grin on his face, but this relationship was new, and he had daydreamed about it for years. As suave and gentlemanly as he had imagined himself in his head, sweeping Harry off his feet with charm, he really couldn’t bring himself to pretend he wasn’t stupidly happy.

“That sounds lovely,” he said. And a grin broke out on Harry’s flushed face too. Draco couldn’t help but press a kiss to Harry’s cheek before sending him on his way.

Draco loved how shy and eager Harry was about this. With sixteen years of friendship under their belt, when Harry asked Draco out a month ago. Harry had been tripping over every word, and it had taken Draco nearly five minutes to figure out Harry was asking him out.

“Oh,” Draco had said. He had been standing by his door, seeing Harry off like they do almost every night. “Oh!”

Harry had flushed down to his neck.

“Yes,” Draco had replied in a hurry. “Oh my god—yes.”

“Yeah?”

Draco had nodded, willing his face to stay calm.

“Cool,” Harry had said. Another word choice he picked up from the students. “I’ll—er, I’ll pick you up tomorrow at seven, then?”

“Okay.”

Draco had decided he would stay and watch Harry go, and it was rewarded with Harry stopping every two steps to turn around and look at Draco until he reached the staircase. Draco had listened to Harry’s footsteps fading down the stairs and grinned at nothing. And he had laughed when he heard Harry’s jubilant shout from afar.

Draco also remembered how later that night, as he finally stumbled back to bed, how he lay there for hours, indulging himself on playing out being Harry’s boyfriend—and berated himself for acting like a teenager. Not that it stopped Draco from doing it.

When Draco’s daydream entered the “Marriage” chapter, he remembered how Harry always wanted children, and that was like falling into a pit of icy water. Draco tried to shake himself off the tightness, tried to stop himself from imagining his body becoming a reminder of a gender he long left in the past. Draco tried to stifle the nausea.

He could very well just forget about it. They hadn’t even been on their first date yet. Children seemed so far into the future. But the nagging feeling wouldn’t leave Draco alone. What if it was a deal-breaker for Harry? Draco had loved Harry for so long, he wasn’t sure he wanted to go through a heartbreak Draco knew could be potentially ruining.

At half-past one, Draco climbed out of his cocoon of blankets and trekked to Harry’s room a few floors below. Harry opened the door in his pajamas and messy hair. “Why aren’t you asleep yet?” Draco said, and wanted to jump off the castle right after the words left his mouth.

The incredulous look on Harry’s face was deserving, Draco supposed. “Is something wrong?” Harry asked, pulling Draco into his warm room.

Draco swallowed. “Do you expect me to carry your child, if this goes somewhere?”

A few seconds went by and Harry remained gaping at Draco.

“I know some people do it,” Draco continued on. “I know they’re okay with it. But not—not me. I don’t know if I’ll ever go through a transition. Oh, you know that, yes, I forgot I told you that before. I’m happy with myself, but if that means you’ll expect me to carry our children—I can’t. I’m sorry.”

“What is going on?” Harry seemed to be talking to himself. “You do not need to apologize for that! And I—Jesus, are we talking about children? I mean, I’ve thought about it, because I’ve been in lo—ngk, I mean, I always wanted kids—Yes, I know you know! But I never thought about that, Draco. I know you don’t want to. I would never ask that of you!” He sounded distressed.

They were both panting. “Good,” Draco said. “I just want us to be on the same page.”

“I always wanted to adopt,” Harry said.

“Oh.” Draco looked to the floor. “You never said.”

“I would’ve told you someday.”

“Is today someday?”

“It can be.” Harry smiled softly at Draco, who was now feeling very flustered from being reckless and Gryffindor-like and barging in to demand answers in the middle of the night.

“I guess it makes sense,” Draco said. “That you would want to love a child that needs it. Ah, is that insensitive of me to say?”

Harry dragged him into a crushing hug.

***

It took Draco a few days to gather up enough courage. In the end he chose the second-year Hufflepuff/Ravenclaw class as his first step. While everyone had finished setting up their cauldrons and tools, Draco cleared his throat.

“I need to tell you all something.”

***

The second-years took the news with wide-eyed exhilaration, shouting encouragement and cheers to the point Draco couldn’t hear his own voice anymore. “That’s why I picked them to go first,” Draco told Harry after class, when he came over to ask how it went. “They’re a bunch of sweethearts and I need the ego-boost.” Harry laughed and kissed him.

The seventh-year Slytherin/Gryffindor class was rougher. Some students recoiled, and some of those students looked shamefaced at their own reactions, which made Draco feel better (however slight.) He was more solemn during his speech. When some Gryffindor boys started murmuring, a few Slytherin students glared at them hard enough to shut them up. Draco had to smile a bit at that.

“May we ask some questions, sir?” A Slytherin student asked.

“Go ahead, Miss Jeffers.”

“Do you see yourself as gay, then?”

“I’ve always been attracted to men,” Draco answered calmly. “And as a man, I identify myself as gay.”

Another student raised their hand. “Was your name always Draco?”

“Yes. My mother picked it, and she had always intended to use it on a boy or a girl.”

“Did you dress differently when you were young, before—er, you know.”

Draco raised an eyebrow at the student and he blushed sheepishly.

“A good thing about wizarding fashion is that robes all generally looked the same for both male and female. I was lucky enough to not experience the hardship Muggle transgender community might face growing up.”

When no more hands were left up in the air, Draco could see it wasn’t the end of confusion for some students. But there was no use to push. Draco smiled at his class, “I’m not any more different than I was before today. You just know more about who I am now. You’ll find that, despite this new knowledge, I am still exactly the same. For example,” Draco tapped his wand and papers appeared in front of each student. “I still like to surprise you with a pop quiz.”

The groans were music to Draco’s ears.

***

The news spread to the whole school by the next day, and breakfast was an anxious ordeal. Draco had made the decision to eat in the Great Hall. Harry’s continuous presence was warm and steady next to him. Harry knew how to deal with being in the spotlight of gossip, and he pulled out all stops to distract Draco from it (i.e., some very heavy making out in the hallway outside of Draco’s room, certainly far too inappropriate at seven o’clock in the morning on a school day). Draco had been preparing for it to happen, but he was still caught off guard when it came.

When it came, Draco had been walking by himself to his next class. He turned around slowly to see who had made the remark. The student didn’t try to hide. He was standing right behind Draco. Everyone around stopped in their tracks, from what the boy had said or to see what would happen, Draco didn’t know.

The boy sneered at Draco. His friend looked very surprised and appalled. “10 points from Gryffindor,” Draco said. He focused on the disappointment he felt, and not all the other awful feelings that were churning at the base of his throat.

“100 points from Gryffindor,” someone said from behind. McGonagall strode past Draco and glared down at him. “Plus one-week detention with me, for your ignorance and malice, Mr. Anderson. You should know better. There are transgender students here, and I will not allow this kind of behavior in my school.”

Out of nowhere, Harry appeared next to Draco. “And Mr. Anderson will see me after class today,” he said. “As head of house, I apologize for my student’s behavior, Professor Malfoy.”

Draco nodded, throat thick. Students were gathering around them, but they were looking at Anderson, whose face took on a sickly tinge at the prospect of detention with both the Headmistress and the Boy Who Lived.

“Go to your class, now,” McGonagall said tersely. Anderson scampered off, his friend following. McGonagall turned her gaze onto the students mulling around, who all jumped and started to move.

“I am sorry, Draco,” McGonagall said when all students cleared out.

“I’m alright, Headmistress.”

“I’ll walk with him,” Harry said, taking Draco’s hand. And McGonagall’s smile showed that she would let this PDA slide just this once.

“I don’t nee—” Draco started.

“I’m not walking you to your classroom because I think you need a bodyguard,” Harry said. “I’m walking with you to your classroom because I missed you.”

Draco hated how easily his mood was improved by that.

Just before parting, Draco squeezed Harry’s hand. “Harry,” Draco said, throat thick and heavy. Harry turned to him inquiringly.

“Educate him,” Draco said. He looked at Harry’s eyes. So honest and good. “Don’t punish him and let him walk away as ignorant before, Harry. Don’t do what our teachers did to us. Teach him.”

Harry cupped Draco’s face. “That was always the plan.”

Draco nodded. He blinked slowly, finally letting the tears fall. Letting them out. It didn’t take more than a few. Harry kissed away each drop, and Draco smiled through it.

“I’ll see you tonight?” Draco asked.

“Yes.” Harry looked delighted, as though they didn’t see each other every other night already.

Draco gave an amused chuckle. Harry’s gaze lingered on him until the classroom door closed.

***

Draco was just grading his last pile of homework when someone knocked on his office door. “Sir?”

Draco looked up from his grading. It was a third-year Gryffindor. Michael Genson, standing nervously by the door, eyes very wide. An expression so familiar, so mixed with trepidation and hope that for a second Draco thought he was looking at his 13-year-old self. “May I ask you some questions?” Michael said.

Draco put down his quill and moved his grading aside. “Of course,” he smiled. “Tea?”

Michael nodded, sitting down gingerly. Draco gave him a comforting smile and Summoned his best tea leaves.

Hopefully by the end of the chat, Draco could be fortunate enough to find out who Michael truly was.

#drarry #draco malfoy #harry potter #trans draco #hp #drarry squad #darry #my fic #Anonymous

314 notes · View notes

new-tella-us · 3 years

Text

Komahina Oneshot

Komahina ft. Trans Hajime. Another Tumblr inspired post. The tumblr account is catboymoments. Gotta give credit where credit is due.

If you didn't know that this is very gay and trans then idk how you got here but I'm happy to have ya.

But seriously, this has some pretty big trigger warnings

- Gender Dysphoria

- Complicated pregnancy

- Mentions of abortion

-PTSD

Anyways Onto the Oneshot!

Wow! I'm Pregnant! We're gunna have a happy family! Except...I'm a guy.

I feel horrible... This has been going on for about three days now. Mornings are the worst. I can't tell why. It's starting to worry Nagito and it's not like I can fake it, I tried. You can't fake puking. I can at least fake being somewhat lively.

...I need to get up. Need to get moving. Need to- Nevermind! I need to puke! Fuck... This feels disgusting. Maybe I should try and diagnose myself, or have Mikan help me. I felt a pat on my back; I knew it was Nagito but, I couldn't look at him while puking my guts out. When I finally finished desecrating the poor toilet I got up. I was sweating, pale and covered in whatever I managed to puke up on an empty stomach. I flushed the toilet and washed my face.

Nagito gave me a worried look. What was once an 'are you okay?' question turned into, "How are you feeling now?"

"I'm better," I responded. There wasn't much else to say, "I'll get this checked out soon, I'll just give it another day or two."

Nagito face turned stern, "Hajime, you need to get this thing checked out today! This has gone on for too long." He went out of the bathroom and grabbed his phone, "I'm calling Tsumiki-chan."

"Nonono! It's okay Nagito! I'll do it tomorrow! I can handle this myself!" I responded, a bit panicked. I never liked getting help from others, it didn't feel right to bother someone over something I can do myself.

"You said that yesterday. I'm calling Tsumiki-chan." He said in a more stern voice. I couldn't respond, there was no point in arguing with him when he's like this, plus; he's right. He made the call. I didn't hear Mikan's side of the call but, from what I can hear on Nagito's side, they made a time, 1 pm. He hung up and looked back at me, his glaze softened.

"Let's get you something to eat, okay?"

"Yeah," He smiles softly and gave me a small kiss on the forehead before leading me out of the house. But, while we were walking towards the cafeteria, a little voice told me something.

You know exactly what's happening.

I shook the thought away.

...

Breakfast was, mostly, fine. Only going to the bathroom once! Now, I have some time before I have to talk to Mikan. Nagito insists that I rest but I've gotten bored of doing that. I decided to just walk around the island. It was a really hot day and I was getting tired so, I couldn't walk for long. Huh, that never happens, I usually have more stamina than that... Maybe Nagito was right. Well, Nagito is usually right. Maybe I should just listen to Nagito more.

I started walking back, only taking a break to puke near a tree. Now, I'm really sweating, shaking too. I felt light-headed. Then, an unexpected helper appeared. She put my arm on her shoulder, behind her neck, her other hand supported me from my side. I didn't look up, I didn't need to. Her light orange kimono with scattered pink cherry blossoms gave away who she was.

"Hey Saionji..."

"Didn't listen to Komaeda again?" She knew it...

"Nope." I responded with as much satire I could muster.

"You're an idiot."

"Yup" Indeed I was but I could think about that a little bit more when my head wasn't spinning like crazy. Hiyoko helped me back to my cottage before leaving me to enter it myself. I opened the door and both Nagito and Mikan were sitting on the couch. I guess she came early.

"Hey guys, it seems like you were both waiting for me. Sorry about that."

"I-It's fine Hinata-san. So tell me a-about your condition. I've only seen g-glimpses of it" Mikan said.

So I explained. The morning sickness, the lack of energy and stamina. The fact that I can't even walk around the island without becoming pale and out of breath. Mikan thought about it and started checking her tablet. I assumed that she was looking up what this could mean before her eyes widen on something.

"I-I....I never knew this. Umm...I'll b-be right back." She seemed nervous as se got up and practically ran out of the house.

You know where she's going, you know what she's getting

There's that voice is again. I have no time for hallucinations or weird creepy messages.

...

Mikan returned after a few minutes with a little rectangular box in her hand.

"Welcome back, Tsumiki-chan. Now, are you going to explain why you suddenly freaked out like that and left?" Nagito said.

Mikan's gaze fell on me. Her look was almost unreadable. It's very unlike her.

"Hinata-san. Are you trans?" She asked bluntly.

"Wh-What?! What made you ask that??" I panicked. How did she know? How did she guess??

She turned her tablet to me; my profile was on it as was everyone else's. She pressed one of those special info buttons and a symbol appeared next to my profile picture.

The Female Sex Symbol...

Silence...

...Shit...

"I'm surprised that you didn't realize that this button exists. After all the creator of these tablets had a member who's entire case was solved because their sex was revealed." Mikan said. She always did have more confidence when she spoke facts. I didn't have anything to say, neither did Nagito. Mikan handed me the box; it was a pregnancy test.

"I w-won't ask. That's your b-business..." Her timidity returned. No, she won't ask because she'll get her answer depending on what I say or do. I could hand her back the test. I could lie and say I'm a virgin but, that wouldn't help me...

I got up and went to the bathroom...

...

......

...Are...Are you serious...? The test came back positive?! I...don't know how to feel about this... At least I know what's happening to me and probably why it's hitting me so hard.

...I feel too sick for this.

You knew this was coming.

'Izuru...not now. Please.'

You know you can't fully get rid of her.

'Who are you talking about?'

As if to answer my question, he materialized but not as himself. He materialized as a young girl. A girl that looks a lot like me.

'Fuck off, Izuru. You know that's not me...'

Is it not? It's who you once were.

'That was never me! She was someone else. Just a person of the past.'

And that way of thinking is what got you here. It's time for you to face the facts. You may be a boy but, you're not male. You forgetting that is why that test is positive. You took a chance, you were risky and here you are.

'We're done here.'

I was steaming. I couldn't listen to another word that fell out of that man's mouth. I needed to calm down. I took some deep breaths and left the bathroom. Mikan left but, Nagito was still there. I wasn't concerned with him knowing that I was trans, he already knew; he would have to know since he's...

"So, what happened? What did she give you? Are you okay?" he asked but, I had a feeling that he knew. I didn't want the mood to be sour. Having kids is supposed to be a good thing so, I wanted to lighten the mood with a pun.

"Well, I guess I should be invisible."

"...What? What do you mean?" He looked puzzled.

I looked at the pregnancy test. "Well, I'm a trans-parent." (Yes, I took this pun from the same tumblr user)

He looked at me, still puzzled, for a few minutes before he realized.

"...oh. Oh OH! You don't mean-" He looked happy, so happy. He gave me a hug, "Oh my god! I've always wanted to be a dad!"

He has? Great... Personally, I never wanted kids. I used to but, secondary school... changed me and showed me that really, I don't. But I can't just make a split second decision, he seem so happy...

"Yeah, but can we discuss this a bit more? I have my issues that I need to address."

His smile faded a bit "Uh sure"

We both sat on the bed of our room. I didn't know what to say. I don't know if I want to do this but, it would feel wrong just to abort with no conversation.

"So umm... Nagito. I...I don't know if I'm- we're ready to have kids. I guess I'm kind of worried?"

Tell him the actual reason, Hajime.

"I don't know what effect this might have on me and I'm scared that I might not be a great dad..."

Hajime...

"Is that the reason?" Nagito asked.

"...Yeah"

If you don't tell him, I will.

"..." I wasn't going to say anything but, Izuru kept on his threat. I lost control of my body.

"He has gender dysphoria" Izuru said, "So this pregnancy is reminding him of his uncertainty. The place he used to live in was not the most accepting of transgendered people"

Nagito fell silent, he was stunned. Damn it Izuru... did you have to be so blunt? I got control of my body back, I couldn't even look at Nagito, I felt so ashamed, I was putting my anxieties above a life. It felt...wrong. Or is it a life? It's a clump of cells but, it can become a life. I've been around too many mixed influences. I wish I knew which decision was the good decision.

Then again..

Is there truly a 'good' decision? On one hand, I'm killing a potential life and that will haunt me but, if I'm not ready to be a parent, I'm bringing a child into a world neither it nor I'm ready for and with a current war having, it's not like adoption is an option and, like Izuru said, it forces me to accept-

"Why didn't you tell me?" Nagito asked. He didn't sound mad, he sounded sad and even a bit guilty, I didn't answer, "I'm sorry if me saying that pressured you." He gave me a hug. I felt so guilty. "I can't say that I fully understand but, no matter what you choose, I'll be in your corner."

"I'm gunna give it a week or two then I'll make my decision," I said nearly in tears, "thank you for being so supportive."

...

It's been two weeks, I thought about it everyday. I was already two week pregnant so with another two weeks, the time for abortion via safe mentions was soon ending. I hesitated and swayed back and forth on my answer. I truly didn't know for a while. But, about two days before my decision I found myself sticking to an answer. I'll stick with this pregnancy. It might help me get over my gender dysphoria, maybe not fully but, somewhat? Plus, it's quite an efficient way to tell everyone that I'm trans. And who know, maybe I'm a better parent than I think I am and with Nagito, I feel like I can take it. It's sort of strange; I'm aware of all the health risks, the mental tax, the problems and possible sadness but, I feel like I can take it. I feel calmer know that I at least, have one person- well two people with Tsumiki, in my corner.

"I'm keeping it" I said with a hug.

"Really? You sure?" Nagito asked.

"Yeah, we're gonna be a family." I smiled, it wasn't fake.

But of course, like everything else in my life, it didn't come without complication. I was already pregnancy four weeks and was just feeling more exhausted. Another week had passed and I kept feeling worse. I didn't know why. I felt exhausted and cold. I was exhausted but not tired, not sleepy. I was awake and shaky. Nagito called Mikan again when he started to notice how pale I was getting. She said it was Iron Deficiency Anemia along with Hypertension. Two things that were really common in pregnancy. She gave me medication for it and it did help but not fully.

At about 8 weeks, I told the group about me being trans and about the child. Mikan recommended to do that instead of immediately because that's when the risk of a miscarriage goes down to less than 10 percent. The group was so happy to have two children born at similar times. Yes, two! Sonia and Gundham were having a kid as well. What a coincidence! Sonia insisted that we started talking more about it.

12 weeks in and everything has been going as smoothly as it can. There's still work, there's still complications, sleeping is an issue, I have been diagnosed with Insomnia, this pregnancy has also made me more dependent on Nagito and has given me more time to think and I don't know if I like that... But, everyone's been really supportive, they haven't treated me any different and because I have a bit more time, I can hangout with them more. I've learnt a lot more about Sonia. I knew a bit about her, like that she's into witchcraft and serial killer documentaries but, she was also into slice of life novels so, this was a dream of hers. How cute.

Weeks 16 - 30 can be summed up here. They all passed the same; excited conversations, preparations, fun little talks, work, insomnia, exhaustion, etc. What was really note worthy was while Nagito went out on a mission to the main lands, Makoto brought back a fluffy white dog, a Great Pyrenees puppy. We agreed to keep and so when Nagito came home, I surprised him with the dog. At first, he was silent, then he started crying; I was scared the he didn't like the dog but, that changed when he went up and hugged the dog, he was so happy. Apparently, this was the exact breed of the dog Nagito used to have. Wow, how lucky. He sat with it for hours before being willing to pry away from it and go to sleep. We decided to call her Lucy.

Fast forward to week 37, about 3 weeks before we thought I was due. I was pulling an all-nighter on this one project to have it done by tomorrow. I knew I was pushing myself but I was almost done, I wanted to free up my schedule so I can have more time with my baby. Nagito, however, was starting to get concerned.

"Hajime, it's really late. You should rest."

"I'm almost done, okay? I just need to finish this last assignment and I'll be in bed. Just give me about an hour." I said, trying to easy his concern.

"Alright.." He didn't sound too convinced but he did leave.

I continued to work on my project and the time flew by until in the middle of my assignment, my stomach really hurt, more than usual. Do you really need to kick that hard, Future Child? I tried to continues working but the pain would just come back worse every time. Maybe I should just go to bed... I tried to get up and walk back to my bedroom but the pain sent me down the floor, everything hurts...everything hurts...I couldn't even scream, I was in so much pain...I felt something wet trickle down and I knew what it was at this point. I didn't know what to do, I was crying. Was I going to die? Was I just going to have to give birth here and now? What can I do??

Then, my savior came into the room. No not Nagito, Lucy! She took one good look and me and went sprinting out the door. I could hear her barking and soon she seem back with Nagito.

"Hajime!! Are you okay!?"

I wanted to say something to something to that question; 'yes', 'no', 'shut the fuck up and call Tsumiki' but, I couldn't let out a sound. Luckily, he took the hint and called Mikan.

"Tsumiki-chan. I'm sorry to wake you but, Hajime may be going through contractions? Please help?!"

They talked for a bit, I could barely focus. I just remember Nagito carrying me to the bathroom while talking to Mikan. I don't know if she was just fast or if I blanked out for a bit but, Mikan was there before I knew it. They both briefly conversed before they got me dressed in a cheap, long white shirt and set me down in the bath. Mikan started sticking needles in me, I don't know what for and she was still talking to Nagito. She finally looked at me and told me to count my contractions and how often they happen. After each one (Because it hurts too much to talk during contractions) I would tell her, when she decided that they were regular enough, she grasped my hand a little and told me to take a deep breathe. I did. Then she told me to push.

That's when it hit me, this was happening now! Oh my god, I was not ready for this but, I don't have much of a choice. So I pushed. Oh god it hurts! I felt like my bones were breaking. She then told me to breathe again and I did, we repeated this until the water started to turn red with blood.

Blood...blood...

Blood...Blood...Blood...Blood...Blood...Blood...Blood...Blood...Blood...Blood...Blood...Blood...Blood...

Blood? Did someone die? I felt like I was somewhere else. I was watching the murders of the student council again, so much blood...like a perfect quality horror movie, I saw them all murder each other clear as day, every person, every stabbing, every slicing, every shooting, all the bloodshed, clear as the day I first saw it. I never forgot any of their faces...

Then, as if it couldn't get worse...all the murders, all the executions...all the blood, clear as day. I was just watching, unable to do anything. Nagito...Chiaki... They were gone. Was my happy life all a dream? Is this the reality I'm truly in or am I hallucinating and this is the fake reality? I can't tell, I can't tell... I want out of this nightmare! I hear voices in the distance, at first I couldn't understand what they are saying but, as the voices got louder, I could slowly understand. Were they calling me? I got my answer.

"HAJIME!" Nagito shouted, dragging me back to reality. I panicked at the different scenery. My heart was pounding, threatening to rip out of my chest. I looked around to see where I was, I was in the bathroom. I couldn't keep my vision still.

Nagito cupped my cheeks, obviously trying to calm me down. "Hajime look at me, okay?"

I tried to focus my vision on him, his eyes full of panic and worry.

"You're having a panic attack. Whatever you saw, it's just an illusion. You're okay, I'm okay, everyone is okay. Please try to calm down."

My throat was dry and hoarse but, I took a deep breath. I continued to do that until I became calmer.

He smiled down at me "Good...good."

Mikan then piped up, "Komaeda-san, I'm sorry but, we do need to c-continue with this..." Then she got an idea, "If blood is a trigger to Hinata-san then can maybe he should just look at you instead. I'll still need your attention Hinata-san but, just keep l-looking at him."

"Yeah, that's a good idea." Nagito agreed. I just nodded. So Mikan continued with her instruction and I kept my eyes on Nagito. It made the birthing a little easier to see his smile and soon enough I did my last push, I felt a weight leave me and while I was still sore, it didn't hurt nearly as much anymore. That's when the fatigue washed over me. I could feel myself passing out already.

"Hey hey...um, I know you're tired but, can you stay awake just a little longer please? Just until Tsumiki-chan says it's okay. Please?"

I didn't want to, the work should be over by now but, I could do it. Voices faded in and out, I was barely able to concentrate. Then, Nagito gave me a kiss on the forehead.

"You did it Hajime! It's okay now, you can rest." His voice was quiet and soothing.

"...Great.." I replied groggily before falling asleep almost immediately after.

I fell into a deep, very needed sleep. It was relaxing for once. No dreams, no nightmares just, floating in the darkness. But, I had to wake up.

The sun was shining through the curtains, not too much sun but, just enough to give the room a bright warm haze. I still felt sore but, it was much better than last night. I sat up and yawned.

"Oh good morning, Sleepyhead." Nagito said, playfully. He was sitting right next to me, looking at me with a warm smile. "I was wondering when you were going to wake up."

I felt a bit out of it, it seemed so peaceful right now, I just wanted to bask in it for a while. I took the time to notice things around me, like the fact that I was wearing something different; it was one of Nagito shirts and my boxers. I also noticed a little crib in the far corner of our bedroom with what looks to be a baby inside.

"Do you want to see your child?" Nagito asked.

I could only nod. He got up and went to the crib, picked up the small child and came back to the bed. Handing me the child he said,

"Meet your new baby son"

I held the child gently in my arms and at that moment, everything became worth it. He woke up and looked at me. I was expecting him to cry but, instead he just giggles grabbed my finger. Now I'm the one whose crying!

Nagito chuckled, "Don't cry on the baby!" He said playfully but, he was crying too.

He gave me a kiss, "I love you, Hajime"

I returned it, "I love you too, Nagito"

We both held our son and I knew, deep in my heart, this was the right decision.

We're a family now!

If I got something wrong, please tell me. I really tried and I wanna get it right.

#danganronpa #danganronpa2 #hinakoma #komahina #Hajime Hinata #SDR2 Hajime #Nagito Komaeda #sdr2 nagito #trans hajime #family au

38 notes · View notes

domesticmail · 4 years

Text

you send me - jj maybank

summary: a short-ish fic in which john b. basically forces you and jj to get on a boat and watch the sunset. with slight jealous!jj vibes and some real intense artist!reader vibes

a/n: yes i’m in love with the whole “wild and reckless falls for soft-spoken and gentle” cliche, u can’t stop me from exploring every single possible outcome of this potential relationship :)

taglist: @arthriticcrickets i know u asked to be tagged if i ever wrote anything with artist!reader and jj, so here u are!! i hope u enjoy it :)

warnings: none? mention of beer? cursing?

It all began when you told John B. that you’d never painted a sunset.

You’d been standing in the kitchen of The Chateau, hands under hot water, scrubbing paint from your most recent artistic shenanigans off of your fingers, palms, wrists, and forearms. John B. stood next to you, back leaning against the counter, looking remarkably similar to the ‘white guy blinking’ gif (y’all know the one) - the epitome of disbelief.

“So let me just recap here,” he said. “You call yourself an artist.”

“Yes.”

“You’ve been painting since you were little.”

“Since I was seven, actually.”

“Okay, you’ve been painting for nine years.”

You nod, turning the faucet off. “Yep.”

“And in all that time. In those seven years...” He pauses to hand you a towel, and partially for the dramatic effect. “You’ve never painted a sunset.”

“No,” you laugh. “Why, am I missing out on some cosmic experience?”

“I mean, yeah.” He holds his hands palms-up. “How do you even call yourself an artist if you’ve never done at least one super-cringey painting of a sunset?”

“Um, because I paint other things -”

“Okay, but you’re missing out on a basic artistic revelation -”

The front door shuts, and JJ appears, looking like he usually does: tanned and a little riled up. No hat today, you notice - it’s nice to see his hair, golden and probably really, really soft. Not that you’d know. It’d be nice to know, but - wow. Really off topic here. JJ’s standing in the doorway, looking from you to John B., back to you, to John B., then you again. “Where’s the rest of the group?”

“Pope has scholarship stuff, and Kie and Sarah are helping out at The Wreck,” you answer.

“Oh. Cool.” He looks between you and John B. again. “I’m not interrupting something, am I? Because it kinda feels like I am.”

You and John B. look at each other with the kind of grossed out expression that says ‘No thanks, let’s not think about that ever again, thank you.’

“Yeah, no.” John B. says.

“Not really my type,” you tell JJ.

“Woah, hey, I take offense to that.”

You flick the towel at him with a grin. “I’m not really interested in guys who call me a poser.”

JJ has no idea what you’re talking about, so John B. fills him in: “Dude, she calls herself a painter but she’s never painted a sunset.��

“What? You’re totally posing.”

You groan exaggeratedly. “Not you too.”

“Yeah, sorry, Y/N, but you’re outnumbered here.”

“You’re so right, guys. You’re so right. I’ve been fooling myself this whole time. For seven years.” You shake your head, pretending to be disappointed in yourself.

“Living in total denial,” JJ adds, grinning.

“Oh, no, guys.” John B. fake-gasps, clearly pretending to have found a scientific article on his phone. “WebMD says there’s only one cure.”

“Please, Doctor! I’ll do anything!” You adopt a Trans-Atlantic accent for a second, clasping your hands together and pretending to plead with him.

“Anything?” JJ asks under his breath. You swat his arm playfully, ignoring the way your stomach butterflies when he grins at you.

“Well, Ms. Y/N, it says here that you must paint a sunset by midnight tonight, or else you’re doomed to be an art poser...forever,” John B. explains, his voice dropped to a serious, gravelly tone.

“But Doctor!” You gasp, looking at the time, one hand pressed to your chest in fake astonishment, “Sunset is in two hours! I don’t have time! I promised I would go down to The Wreck and help Kie and Sarah!”

“If it’s to save you from a life of bullshit art galleries and uncomfortable turtlenecks, I’m sure Kie and Sarah won’t mind if I step in for you,” he offers. He clearly is just angling for a reason to spend more time with Sarah, but you don’t mind. Cooking really isn’t your strong suit anyway. JJ snorts at John B., then mouths “SIMP” at you.

You repress a snicker. “But I can’t watch a sunset alone!”

John B. grins. “You won’t have to,” he says. “I know someone who’s not doing anything tonight.”

Both of you turn to look at JJ, who throws his head back and groans. “Fine. But you’re not dragging me into this weird roleplay-pretend-thing.”

So that’s why you’re here. On a boat. At sunset. Sitting next to JJ in a pile of blankets.

You brought the blankets for comfort, a towel for your paints, a canvas for - you guessed it - the actual sunset painting, and a speaker (you have a very specific playlist you like to listen to when you paint; you call it your Paintlist).

Once you settle in, sitting cross-legged next to JJ, who’s holding a beer and looking at the sunset, you grow quiet. It’s nothing against JJ, you just tend to get really into the zone, with the music and the gentle light of the sun and the breeze over the water and the weight of the brush in your hand of a direct line of energy from your mind to the canvas. Your anxiety, your issues, all concern disappears from sight, and all that is real is the pain on the canvas and the way it makes you feel, breathless and weightless and nonexistent but somehow still so alive.

While you lose yourself in the art, JJ’s losing himself in you. There’s something really memorable about the way you look in the light of the sun: your skin aglow, your eyes sparkling. But the best part is how utterly confident you are now. Even though in conversation you constantly downplay your skills, talking about all the flaws in your technique, when you have a brush in your hand, he can literally watch your insecurity wash away. It’s beautiful.

He’s never noticed that you bite your lip when you concentrate. You’re not even really biting it - it’s more like you’re trying to peel it away, layer by layer. It’s weirdly endearing, seeing you in such an unfiltered state. And even though he knows it’s probably because you’re so in the zone that you’ve forgotten he’s here, he likes to think it’s because you trust him.

He also knows that this may just be the beer talking, but something’s telling him to kiss you.

Pogues don’t mack on pogues, he tries to remind himself, but the thought gets buried when he realizes he’s literally the only pogue not macking on another pogue. Well, that’s one of two, if he’s including you, and of course he is, you’re part of the group now! So really there’s only two of six pogues who are actually following the rule.

Wow. When did he start calling himself a rule-follower? The apple must’ve fallen farther of from the tree than he thought if he’d really just -

“JJ? You in there?”

He snaps out of it, your voice pulling him from his thoughts, and only then does he realize that he’s probably been staring at you the whole time. You’re looking at him, slightly confused, eyebrows knit together and mouth pursed, and oh god, come on, pogues don’t mack on pogues but does the rule really matter if nobody is following it? “Yep, yep, sorry, what’d I miss?”

You point to the painting, then to the horizon. The sky has gone dark, and the moon is beaming light onto the water. “Sun’s down.”

He nods, then looks at the painting. “Did you finish?”

“That’s what he said,” you mutter under your breath with a smile, scooting over so he can get a better look at the canvas. Your legs are touching, a weirdly intimate thing that you’ll probably remember for months after. “No. Guess I’m doomed to be a poser forever.”

JJ shrugs. “Pretty shitty, bro.”

“I think I’ll survive. And anyway, it’s really just John B. teasing me, so who cares?” You grin at him, but he’s not looking at you anymore, he’s watching the sky with an intense fascination that’s unlike him regularly. “JJ?”

He clears his throat. “Uh, weird question that’s probably not my business, but...”

Your heart swells in your chest, and you feel so concerned. “What?”

“Are you macking on John B.?”

That was not what you were expecting at all. You thought he was going to ask some deep, personal question - but upon review, you realize this is JJ. The chances of him trying to be deep with you are slim-to-none. “No. No no no no no. No.”

JJ still hasn’t looked at you, and if you didn’t know better, you’d think he was blushing. “JJ, no. There isn’t even a snowball’s chance in hell John B. and I would ever mack on each other.”

He nods, but no eye contact still, so you poke his shoulder playfully. “Hey. No John B. on Y/N macking, I promise.”

He finally looks at you. “Dude, never say ‘John B. on Y/N macking’ in front of me ever again.”

You smile. “Yeah, it grossed me out, too.”

It’s becoming cold out, so you reach forward and pull a blanket over yourself. As you and JJ become a little lost in conversation, you notice that he’s shivering a little, so you take initiative and cover him with some blanket, too.

The first thing you notice is that now you’re accidentally pressed right up against him, and dear god, this is nice.

The second thing you notice is that your heart is pounding quickly. It’s been a lot just being here alone with him, and now you’re cuddling under the stars? Magical.

Your heart nearly leaps into your throat when he wraps an arm around your shoulders and pulls you closer. Your chest is slamming from your rapid heartbeat, and you think you might actually die right here, right now, and wow, that’s a little Romeo and Juliet of you to die in JJ’s arms, and pretty poetic -

“Y/N.”

“Yeah?” You ask, your voice a little shakier than you’d hoped.

“Chill out a little, okay?”

“Okay.”

No pogues macking on pogues, you think to yourself.

No pogues macking on pogues.

#jj maybank x reader #jj maybank #outer banks #AAAAAAAAAAAAAA i love him #and artist!reader #loves of my life #literally #you send me

244 notes · View notes

sapphixxx · 3 years

Note

i like you as a person (at least as far as i know you through here) but every day you post anime girls and it feels like someone in your position would be more sensitive about sexualized depictions of young women. most of them seem (on the surface) wholesome wlw, but i feel really uncomfortable seeing any kind of "lesbian" images shared online. men *will* see it, and most of it was probably made for them anyway. as transfem wlw, we should really try to be more careful about that

Anon, I want you to think very hard about what you're saying. You're uncomfortable with seeing lesbian images shared online, because men might see them? How weak is your lesbianism that you think it could be undermined or threatened by men merely viewing depictions of women on a public website? If the act of men seeing illustrations of women were enough to undermine trans women or lesbianism we would have been annihilated decades ago, because I'm not sure if you've noticed my friend but that ship has long sailed. Are you going to send this same message to Dynasty Scans, the largest host of yuri manga on the English speaking internet, too, in hopes that they will cease operations and stem the tide of gay anime women that men might see?

What do you think it would accomplish if I stopped posting cute girls? Moreover, why should lesbians define their behavior by what men might do? Should we avoid wearing short skirts and low cut tops, too, just in case we inflame their desire? This is just another way of defining women by their relationship to men, and I refuse to do that. The problem with the sexualization of young women has to do with men's attitudes towards women, seeing them as objects to be consumed rather than people with agency. The mere presence of suggestive pictures of women is not the problem. It is a problem that would exist even if we scrubbed every erotic picture from the internet because, again, the issue is with men's attitudes and their place of power in the world. There is a lot of art that is made in a misogynist way, yes, but the issue is with misogyny, not the fact that the woman in the picture has her tits out.

I ask you, what precisely are you worried about happening? You ask me to be careful, but of what? Are you worried about people thinking I'm a pervert for liking cute anime girls? If they think that, that's their fault, not mine. Are you worried that they will think I'm a pervert and extrapolate that all trans women are perverts? I did not cause their transmisogyny, and my posting habits would not fix it. Are you worried that men will get horny over what I post? Who cares! What they do in the privacy of their own homes does not concern me. Men finding women attractive is not a bad thing. Are you worried that some of those horny men fetishize lesbians? Their homophobia is not my responsibility. I did not cause it, and nothing I post would fix it.

You say most of this content was made for men anyway, to which I answer, how do you know? And more importantly, why do you care? If two girls fall in love, does it really make it not count or worth less if a man wrote them doing so, compared to a woman? Should I only look at pictures and read content of women falling in love if I can verify that the author was a woman who loves women too? What will this accomplish? At the end of the day, regardless of who the intended audience was, I see myself in it and I enjoy it. Everyone is capable of writing stories that are meaningful, even if they don't belong to the group they're writing about. Extrapolate this line of reasoning further. If a writer intended a story to speak to straight people, and for all the characters in it to be straight, does that mean I can't or shouldn't read my own gay and trans interpretation into it? Because newsflash, lgbt people have been appropriating stories written for cishet men for as long as we've existed.

Furthermore, I want you to interrogate how this line of reasoning could be used in transmisogynistic ways. Fifteen years ago I was a "man" who just happened to find lesbian romance compelling. Yuri manga online became my refuge, where I could explore these feelings about women loving women. Why did I find kinship with them, and find depictions of straight romance so alienating? Why did I relate so closely to these girls, while finding that I had nothing in common with any fictional men? I am not exaggerating when I tell you that cute anime girls were pivotal in me coming to terms with my gender and sexuality. Feel free to laugh! I find out funny myself, but it's true. When we try to set up barriers around lesbianism to "keep men out" that language can and will be weaponized against trans women. Those women who don't know they're women yet are barred from finding community and kinship with other wlw because they're perceived as "men". Worse, though, cis people will use that rhetoric to actively exclude trans women from wlw spaces outright even after they have come out, because they see us as male invaders. The portrayal of men's attraction to women as inherently predatory or degrading is used to justify cis people's disgust with trans women's attraction to women. Why would you want to lend legitimacy to that line of thinking?

Finally, I want to ask you, who do you think this blog is for? Because I'm sorry, but I don't do this for you. I do this for myself. I post what I want because I enjoy it, and I share pictures I enjoy with friends who enjoy the same thing. If you are uncomfortable with what I post, I advise you to unfollow me. I will not take it personally, and I hope you will not take it personally either. I hold you no ill will, and if you're someone I've spoken to one on one I would still consider us acquaintances. Nobody needs to follow me to be my friend. I regularly speak with and befriend people whom I don't follow and who don't follow me. This blog is curated to my interests, and your dashboard is, I'm sure, curated to your own interests. If these two things don't match up, there's nothing wrong with that. I encourage you to pursue crafting your online experience in a way that is suitable to you, but I will not change my own content for that purpose, leaving you the option of unfollowing.

I post all of this not to ream you out. I am not angry with you and I hold no malice against you. But because you have chosen to send this on anon I cannot ask you what you mean and engage you in further conversation. With that option gone, I can only type every possible thought I have on the matter, and hope that it illuminates my thinking. If you wish to talk about this further and explain your own thinking, if you think I've misrepresented your thinking or have further thoughts, I would love to hear it. You will, however, have to come off anon for me to do so.

24 notes · View notes

thedreammweaver · 4 years

Text

You really thought I’d leave? (Burton-Schumacherverse riddlebird , trans!Oswald)

Warnings: Dysphoria, misunderstandings, accidental misgendering, Clueless Ed is clueless, brief mention of suicidal thoughts of no physical consequence, medium to mild amount of blood, forced to come out by stupid dumb uterus, so. many. penguin. tears., A N G S T, pain, suffering, the lads talk about their trauma, 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃 (it turns out okay though)

Ed was still feeling his post heist high when he threw himself onto Oswald’s bed while Oswald was hanging up his coat, hat, and umbrella. Ed looked over when he heard Oswald sigh, he was rubbing at his back like it hurt. “I’m sorry..” Ed blurted out.

“It’s not your fault.” Oswald said flatly as he went behind an ornate screen in the corner of his bedroom to change into pajamas. Ed had wondered a few times why Oswald didn’t change in front of him but after all they’d only been in a relationship for a few weeks, it felt like longer to Ed, but maybe the other man just needed more time. Ed rested his head in his hands, feeling guilty

“I was being theatrical and I took too long...if I had hurried up like you said batman wouldn’t have gotten there in time to hurt you..”

Oswald scoffed “It’s OK, Eddie! I needed to let off some steam anyways.”

“If getting thrown into a cement wall where you could’ve been seriously hurt and I would’ve spent forever wishing it had been me instead because..” ‘Because I love you. C’mon, Ed, just say it!’ Ed screamed at himself in his mind “well... because it just wouldn’t be right..I mean if that’s you’re idea of letting off steam then sure.” Ed pouted, kicking himself mentally and burying his face in Oswald’s bed, the comforter smelled like him which lifted Ed’s spirits a bit. “I don’t wanna go home tonight.” He hadn’t meant to say that out loud but didn’t regret it either. “Then stay,” Oswald said, coming out from behind the screen now dressed in black and purple satin pjs “I mean...if this- or- we work out you’ll probably be staying here half the time anyhow, right?” “Yeah, I guess so.” Ed said absently getting off the bed to peel himself out of the green glittery spandex suit he was in, he only had his briefs and a plain tank top underneath, he’d learned to wear some sort of undershirt with the spandex if he was going to Oswald’s after unless he wanted his core to feel an ice box. “Look! The bat got you too, we’re even.” Oswald chuckled pointing out bruises on Ed’s arm and shoulder as he got under the covers. Ed rolled his eyes and crawled into bed next to Oswald he had been afraid this would be awkward but the idea of falling asleep next to Oswald came naturally and he was soon asleep.

Ed was stirred awake just as easily as he’d drifted off by Oswald quicky getting out of bed and muttering curses “Shit, shit, shit...goddamnit..” Ed sat up a bit “Wha...Ozzie, what is it??” He asked groggily. “Uh- it’s- just- nothing, nothing just uh-uh stay there or you maybe better sleep on the couch instead uh...just- go back to sleep. Don’t turn the lights on.” After that panicked deluge of unclear instruction Oswald ran off to the bathroom down the hallway. Ed still drowsy, now worried and curious he turned on the lamp by the bed and looked over to Oswald’s side of the bed, all he could make out was a blurry red blob. He huffed and clumsily reached for his glasses, he’d left them on the nightstand before he and Oswald had gone on the heist as he’d gotten changed at Oswald’s too. His eyes were slowly adjusting and the red blob revealed itself to be a sizeable bloodstain, Ed’s heart dropped. He got up and ran down the hall to the bathroom as well. When Ed went to open the door there was a shrill “DON’T COME IN!!” which made him jump and step back. “But Oswald you’re bleeding!”

“I know, Ed, it’s normal...” Ed could hear that Oswald’s teeth were gritted. “That was a lot of blood Oswald! You could have internal damage from “letting off steam” with the bat earlier. I have to take you to the hospital, I know you hate doctors but-“

“It is normal, Edward! Now leave me be!!”

Ed was taken aback, Oswald had never yelled at him like this before. He put his ear to the door, he could hear plastic ripping and crinkling, was Oswald trying to tend to the damage himself? “Oswald, please please let me help. I know you have a lot of weird..stuff going on but bleeding like that isn’t normal.”

“Yes, it is. This has nothing to do with that son of a bitch Batman, this happens every month..”

“EVERY MONTH?! Since when??”

“...since I was about twelve or thirteen..I don’t remember.”

Ed was bewildered “Since you were- you mean as in years old right??? Oswald! That could be indicative of SERIOUS health problems!!”

“Ed just leave me alone please...stop worrying, it’s fine.”Oswald’s gruff voice was beginning sound shaky. Ed was wracking his brain trying to figure out what was going on. “Oswald please talk to me, if this is “normal” I want to understand why..I-I mean is it like the stuff that comes out of your mouth or-“ “No! It’s not like that...”

“Then what??-“

“Gimme a minute! I’ve never really had to..vocalize it..before..”

Ed leaned his head on the door, now he felt confused and impatient. Oswald cleared just throat nervously “So...I’m a man right except I- Except I got born with the wrong sort of...equipment for that..”

“What??” Ed asked, more a noise of exasperation than a question. “Jesus, Ed- I...got born with a chick’s body but later I figured out I’m not a chick alright, not really..not on the inside-We’re both guys but if you wanted to narrow things down to a strictly physical matter I have more in common with the catbitch than with you..”

Ed’s brow furrowed “So you’re a woman?”

“NO!! GOD NO, ED!! DID YOU EVEN HEAR A WORD I JUST FUCKING SAID?!”

“Okay! Okay! I-I-just-“

“DON’T EVER SAY THAT SHIT TO ME AGAIN!!”

“OKAY!!” There was an uncomfortable beat of silence before Ed spoke again “So.....what are are you?” Oswald scoffed, a pitiful tone to the noise “You’re just trying your damndest to make me feel like shit aren’t you?” Ed’s heart broke when he heard Oswald’s voice break. “No! No! I- Oswald, I swear I’m just trying to understand. S-So you’re a guy? Right? On the inside..that’s what you said? But you have...girl..parts? Then-so the blood.......oh......you-...you’re just..menstruating?” Oswald didn’t answer him. “Oswald??” Ed gently pushed the door open. Oswald was on the floor leaning against the bathtub, he was just in his underpants and pajama top now, the blood stained bottoms tossed aside. Parts of his thighs were also bloodstained, he was sobbing into his flippers, a pathetic gasping hitching noise. Ed got on his knees beside Oswald, he’d never seen the man cry before and it was making him panic “Oswald, please...I didn’t mean to- did-did...I get it right the last time at least..?” Oswald whined “Yes!...yes...but it doesn’t matter...you don’t like me anymore..” “What?? Of course I still lo- like you.” Ed grabbed the other man by the shoulders to make them face eachother. Oswald took his flippers down from his tear drenched face “Just wait, you say that now but in time..you’ll get frustrated and you’ll leave, your need for a “real man” will win out over any feelings you claim to have for me. Eddie, I’ve been through this before..I know how this works..” Oswald broke down into sobs again “Except it’s worse this time..because you actually fucking matter to me, you’re not someone I paid to tell me they love me just because I needed to to hear it on a shitty night.” He was beginning to hyperventilate now “I-I never needed anyone before like I need you and I-I didn’t mean to keep this from you but I got so scared! I was so SCARED!! Scared because I think if you left me especially because of this I’d-I’d just have to go and find the tallest building in Gotham and throw myself off...see if maybe one penguin an fly after all...this poor old bird couldn’t take that, not after everything....not after all this. I thought about it so much and I’d really rather die than have you leave me, Eddie, leave me like every other little sparkling thing that cuddled up to me as if I meant something to them! Like my parents the night I was born!! They doomed me to a life of being thrown away. Th-They cursed me that night do you understand?! An-and I so need you to be the one that breaks that curse cause I. AM. telling. you! I can’t stand that happening again..not one time more...please...not once more..please.....pleease...” Oswald begged as he collapsed into Ed’s arms, sobbing, burying his face in the other man’s chest. “Oh...Oswald I- please don’t talk like that...like you’re nothing..” Ed felt tears flowing down his own face as he cradled his bird. “I..love you. God, Oswald, I love you..you really thought I’d leave?” Oswald raised his head a bit “...Eddie, people get killed for being like me...you can never tell how people will react to what they don’t understand..” Ed absently rocked himself and Oswald softly “...I love you...I wanted to say it for so long but I was scared too, I thought you were gonna be like these type of guys I messed around with in school, they’d call you baby when you’re alone and act like they really care but then you see them with their girlfriends the next day, acting like they don’t know you...and you just feel like a fucking idiot all because they don’t like who they are... I never thought I could mean as much to you as...how you said.” Oswald wrapped his arms around Ed’s waist. “You love me? Why?” There was a pitiful wistfulness in his voice. Ed didn’t have to think for long “You’re warm. You’re the only thing that makes me feel held, only thing that makes me feel safe, wanted. It’s like I wasn’t even real before I met you...I was just here..barely. I carry your warmth with me everywhere now, so I can feel real all the time..instead of like I’m floating away. You...obviously love me too, why?”

“You make me feel human. I got too used to being an animal after being treated like one...manipulated like one. You talk to me like- I don’t know...like you care..” They sat there holding eachother for a few minutes more until Oswald’s crying resumed “It wasn’t enough that I had to get born like this..” he sobbed gesturing to his flippers and nose “I had to get born with the wrong insides too...as if I wasn’t a complete freak already..” Ed held the shorter man tighter “No, no, no, no, no, don’t say that, Oswald, don’t say that,” Ed cooed, stroking Oswald’s hair “I promise I’m going to learn how to treat you right, after all this time you deserve it..I promise I’m gonna learn, okay? And I’m not leaving, you don’t have to be scared anymore..” Oswald was still crying, Ed scooted back a bit so he could see Oswald’s face. “Look, look, I-I can run you a bath so you can get cleaned up and I’ll take care of the bed, then you don’t have to think about it anymore tonight. Would that be good...if I did that?” Ed offered earnestly. Oswald sighed and nodded, Ed smiled weakly and cupped the other man’s cheek “Good-..good, so I’ll- I’m gonna do that and you can stay here and just relax, please.” Ed kissed Oswald’s cheek before getting up and turning on the bath to let it fill while he stripped the bed. Before leaving the bathroom he just had to say it once more “I love you, Oswald.” “I love you too, asshole..” Oswald grumbled, while wiping the dried, drying, and still wet tears from his face. Ed sighed happily knowing that his bird was starting to calm down already, and basking in the knowledge that he was loved back.

#oswald cobblepot #edward nygma #the riddler #the penguin #riddlebird angst

49 notes · View notes