Thinking about how completely distraught Chat Noir was after using his cataclysm on a human being and how that is going to affect him going forward
Also thinking about how he immediately turned to Ladybug begging her to fix it and how much it’s going to affect her knowing he relies on her but there are some things she can’t repair
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I’m just here trying to sleep after a long week (I know it’s only Wednesday but I am stressed and I wanted to quit my job on Monday so it’s a long week) and I’m thinking about Dustin’s birthday. Specifically his seventeenth. And maybe it’s not on the exact day, but around there, and it hits him out of nowhere
He’s the same age Steve was when a bunch of kids were shoved at him and he was told to keep them safe. He’s the same age Steve was when he almost died doing that multiple times on the same night. He’s the same age Steve was and he doesn’t think he’s even remotely prepared to handle a group of kids and doesn’t think he could have been brave enough to fight a bunch of demodogs or billy when he was spitting mad and then gotten up and gone into the tunnels afterwards.
And he looks at Steve now, more mellow, softer around the edges, with friends his own age and his bitching far more playful and affectionate with them, with his glasses and his failing hearing and sometimes anger because of those things but no regrets.
He looks at him and wants to cry because he doesn’t know how Steve did it. He doesn’t know how Steve was so brave and strong then when he was arguably still sort of an asshole and didn’t even know them aside from knowing who they were. Because that night was the first night they’d even spoken, but Steve had jumped right back in despite how they all knew he’d tried to pretend it never happened.
He looks at his brother and doesn’t understand how he’d so easily been there for them back then because trying to imagine himself in his place it just makes him feel overwhelming panic.
Because that’s when it hits
Steve was a kid too. He was just a kid, but he’d seemed like an adult to him, had carried himself with the confidence of adulthood even when Dustin knew now that it was bravado.
He thinks about the year before, when Steve had fought his first monster and been even younger. And maybe he wasn’t the youngest, that was Erica’s privilege, but he’d still been a kid and they’d all forgotten that because it was Steve, who took on the mantle of protector and carried it like a badge of honor even now.
And he hugs him, of course he does, and when they talk, they both cry a little, because Steve can finally admit how he’d felt back then, how he’d felt so out of his depth but didn’t want the kids to see his fear because he needed to be brave
Just lots of sappy thoughts about childhood and loss and moving on knowing that you were allowed to be scared when you thought you couldn’t
KAT YOU GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW. I'M SCREAMING AND CRYING! I'm gonna lose my MIND. I'm gonna climb the WALLS. I'm gonna FLY into the SUN! this is SO IMPORTANT to me now, I'm never going to not think about this, this is critical to their relationship now and I'm never going to see it any other way.
if you write it, I'll podfic it. I swear, this just flipped some switch in my brain, I'm obsessed.
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I saw someone (I’ve forgotten who!) post a couple months ago, asking if it’s ever established in canon whether Mairon ever found out it was Finrod in Tol-in-Gaurhoth. Short answer, after perusing the relevant text: no.
My personal interpretation, for my own amusement: I think he’d figure out Beren, since his run-in with Luthien and Huan happened shortly afterwards, but had a complete Kronk moment with Finrod, years down the line. Like, you know when you’re an expert in a subject and some things totally fly under your radar, because it doesn’t occur to you that anyone would do anything that dumb? I think that, being a master of deception, he wouldn’t realize what Nereb and Dungalef stood for, not for literal ages, because who uses their real names just backwards/anagrammed when infiltrating an enemy stronghold (and arguably the most dangerous stronghold, second only to Angband), that’s just so stupid so stupid it actually worked XD
(In his defense, there was a lot going on in the First Age. A Lot.)
But.
I like to think it plagued him for years :)
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