#good luck seeing bigger works from me bc i can’t even text normal now | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tarredion · 3 years

Text

2020 fic roundup

hiii! i was going to do this earlier but,, um,, i posted three fics in the final two hours of 2020 year (for me) so :D here is finally my fic roundup - in order from newest to oldest

i’ll be using the original summaries, wordcounts n ratings etc, some of the tags, link to the tumblr post and the ao3 link, and maybe add a note or two if i feel that’s not enough

this’ll be a long post so read below the cut

(or go directly to my ao3 here especially in case you don’t want spoilers)

Fireworks up above

g, 341

NYE, established relationship, husbands, tooth-rotting fluff, kissing

Husbands Dan and Phil and their placeholder-apartment share a final NYE moment (aka 2020 NYE)

ao3 // tumblr

Quiet morning

g, 304

tooth-rotting fluff, lazy mornings, sleepy cuddles, established relationship, husbands, forever home

Dan wakes up in the forever home, Phil breathing softly next to him…

ao3 // tumblr

Shadows / nocturne / parting clouds

g, 2.7k

hurt/comfort, migraine, arguing, angst with a fluffy ending, established relationship, ii tour fic, alternating and outsider pov

Phil wakes up with a migraine, causing him to snap at Dan. Throughout the day, while visiting a city for the ii tour, Cornelia observes the tension, and eventually, the two of them console

ao3 // tumblr

A tub fit for two

t, 853

dnp, forever home, established relationship, husbands, fluff, bathing/washing, and more

there are certain perks that come with building your own (forever) house

ao3 // tumblr

Signals

m, 1.6k

texting, established relationship, food, domestic fluff, very light angst, sexual content

excerpts of dan and phil’s texts throughout the years

ao3 // tumblr

At the turn of a page

g, 1.2k

liveshow, 2020-ish, fluff, established relationship, forever home

Phil’s had his reasons for not continuing liveshows during lockdown, but they’re ready for a comeback—a domestic one, at that

ao3 // tumblr

Prickle on the skin, ache in the heart

t, 1.4k

2014, closeted relationship, bbc party, alcohol, vomiting, self confidence issues, jealousy, angst then fluff, happy ending

phil smiles wider, brighter. every day. every day, dan falls in love again. he can’t help but be a little jealous, not being able to say

ao3 // tumblr

It’s home

t, 2.2k

au ice-cream parlor, established relationship, pure fluff, slice of life

A day in the life of Dan and his smitten ice-cream vendor boyfriend Phil, living on the coast of Connemara, Ireland

ao3 // tumblr

Whisper of the heart

g, 976

established relationship, headaches & migraines, hurt/comfort, fluff, piano

Phil has a headache. Dan plays the piano and comforts him.

ao3 // tumblr

Slice of cake

e, 2.7k

established relationship, bday sex, 2016, face-sitting, rimming

Dan’s promised to celebrate Phil with nothing but the best this year.

Naturally, he buys himself a new skirt - but it’s not just to wear.

ao3 // tumblr

Supple thirty-two

this is a chaptered wip !! it’ll continue in 2021 (the update note is currently inaccurate)

3/32

t, 4k so far

slow burn, friends to lovers, love letters, secret admirer, fluff and angst, internalized homophobia, outing, coming out, queer themes, happy ending

A secret admirer sends flowers and letters to Dan over the years

ao3 // tumblr

Tenderhearted

g, 1k

2009, comfort/angst, sad but sweet, sleepy cuddles, separation anxiety

Phil doesn’t want Dan to go home. Dan agrees. Quite strongly, actually.

Feeling properly loved for the first time causes serious separation anxiety.

ao3 // tumblr

I’d marry you (with paper rings)

m, 4k

established relationship, fluff, domestic, proposal, sexual content

Maybe learning calligraphy was of greater importance to Phil, and them, than Dan first thought

ao3 // tumblr

Blue can be kind, too

this is my favourite fic of the ones i’ve written !! so far. it’s from the pov of kid dan so very tender and mostly very childish / undeveloped in the language, as if actually told from his brain (even though it’s third person)

g, 4k

kid!fic, dan and phil are kids, kindergarten, developing friendship, past violence and bullying, referenced homophobia, fluff and angst, sad and happy, happy ending

A tale of being scared, starting fresh, and making your first ever friends after experiencing violent bullying.

Or rather, four-year-old Dan’s first day at his new kindergarten.

ao3 // tumblr

Ablaze

e, 4k

established relationship, spanking, daddy kink, oral, aftercare

Phil’s trying to work; Dan’s being a brat. Things get heated, but not in a bad way.

ao3 // tumblr

The brightest shade of sun (I had ever seen)

g, 3.9k

friends to lovers, getting together, only one bed

one dawn on the isle of man can be enough to unite two craving hearts, even if a lot of heartbreaking thoughts are revealed along the way

ao3 // tumblr

Tracing constellations

t, 1.3k

established relationship, sleepy cuddles, fluff, banter, kissing

Two 6-foot men cuddling in a single armchair doesn’t sound like a good idea.

It isn’t, but dan and phil do almost anything for intimacy…

ao3 // tumblr

Between the seams

g, 999

established relationship, cuddling, fluff, fear, hurt/comfort

Bone-tired lovers meet thundering downpour, rediscovering the best way to confront fear in the meantime

ao3 // tumblr

Fjäll med stjärnor

this one is also a chaptered wip !! it’ll also be continuing in 2021, and probably beyond bcs it might be even longer than that

2/?

g, 9k so far

fantasy, magic, kinda historical fantasy, dan’s a dragon, and Phil’s human (at first), strangers to friends to lovers (eventually), fluff and angst, lots of descriptions

a human’s and a dragon’s paths crossing is unusual, but in this case it was in alignment with the stars and a decision as old as time itself

ao3 // tumblr

It’s not a date?

chaptered wip to continue into 2021 too

2/4

t, 4.6k so far

there’s only one bed, bodyswap, didn’t know they were dating, friends to lovers, getting together, idiots in love, tatinof

On one hand, it should all go flawlessly. When Phil goes on tour with his boyfriend of six years, Dan, he books them rooms with only one bed. He’s not deterred by their quiet and nonsexual (monogamous) lovelife. They do things ‘normal’ couples do, just maybe not as often or intimately. He supposes Dan’s just taking it slow, trying to come to terms with his sexuality and so on. It’s okay.

On the other… Dan doesn’t know they are dating. He has a longtime crush on Phil that he thinks is unrequited, despite their mutual rather romantic and domestic behavior.

ao3 // tumblr

Fur-ever

g, 3.5k

tooth-rotting fluff, dog owners/dads, dog wedding, established relationship, alternate universe - different first meeting, howells and lesters

Dog dads Dan and Phil marry their dogs, in preparation for their own big day

ao3 // tumblr

The maestro and his muse

chaptered but completed!

4/4

e, 5.5k

friends to lovers, mutual pining, body painting, teasing, sexual content

Phil is a professional artist. He’s always wanted to try body painting, and now he gets to, for a naked photoshoot. Unfortunately, his good friend, muse, and crush Dan Howell is his model of choice. What could go wrong?

ao3 // tumblr

Lightyear groovin’

t, 4.6k

star wars setting, dj Phil, waiter Dan, mutual pining, friends to lovers

In a galaxy far, far away, there’s an abundance of 70s clubs. On Krithoo, local party freak Dan Howell works as a waiter at an often overcrowded cantina, Virgo Volans. And maybe, just maybe, he has an infatuation with the extraterrestrial dj frequenting their stage…

ao3 // tumblr

A theism in evolution

g, 5.9k

gods au, enemies to friends to lovers, getting together, fluff and angst, emotional h/c, written entirely in letters, 1st person pov

The sungod, Phil, sends letters to Mother Gaia. He puts all his worries into words… even when he himself can’t see right through them

ao3 // tumblr

Little comfort card

g, 932

separation anxiety, established relationship, business trip, vidcon, fluff and angst, homesickness, comfort, post-coming out videos

Phil goes to VidCon alone. Cue separation anxiety, something Dan seems to have accounted for..

"The whole room felt too airy, and lacked that simple, aesthetic Dan-touch. It wasn’t quite home, so to speak."

ao3

Your hoodies (come wrapped around me)

g, 869

york hoodie, clothes sharing, fluff, moving, house cleaning

Unpacking for their move into bigger quarters, Dan finds an ancient treasure in the back of their conjoined closet.

ao3 // tumblr

Awestruck

g, 996

barista dan, youtuber phil, fanboy dan, crushes, getting together, strangers to lovers

Dan might meet his best customer at the end of his worst day, and get a little more

ao3 // tumblr

Rainbow, proud

g, 513

post-coming out videos, established relationship, domestic boyfriends, fluff, shopping

Phil really wants the corgi shirt, but Dan thinks he has enough already

ao3 // tumblr

A prickly considerate gift

it’s the piranha plant bouquet !!

g, 1k

2014, established relationship, Valentines day fluff, gift giving, flowers and language of flowers, brief depression mention, domestic fluff, nerdiness

Phil finds a substitute for real Valentine’s day flowers

ao3 // tumblr

Cherish the smile

g, 783

husbands, honeymoon, established relationship, fluff

Phil wakes on the first morning of their honeymoon; a new day to cherish Dan’s gorgeous, excited, smile

ao3 // tumblr

“Seriously?”

t, 3k

strangers to lovers, enemies to lovers sort of, getting together, angst with a happy ending, co-workers, non-youtuber au, and lots of other tags lmao

Prompt: Dan and Phil meet while candle shopping and one of them can't help but comment on how obnoxious/boring/etc the scents the other one is picking out are the time Phil met a totally-not-handsome stranger and only sort-of wished they'd never meet again. Tough luck?

ao3

The lovers (VI)

chaptered, completed !

14/14

m, 31k

friends to lovers, magical realism au, lots of angst but also fluff, happy ending (more important tags on ao3)

Dan, guardian of the forest, feels inadequate to love and of love. His best friend Phil loves him despite that.. but doesn’t know quite what to do when Dan becomes a hypocrite- playing with both their feelings

ao3 // tumblr

Colour me rosé

another chaptered wip !! though this one may not be finished in 2021, because i have so much on my plate then - enjoy what’s here though !

9/?

m, 13k so far

sugar daddy Phil, sugar baby Dan, phil is rich, eventually domestic, strangers to lovers, developing relationship and friendship, sexual content, fluff, a little angst, and like a lot lot more tags

nineteen-year-old Dan Howell is looking for a sugar daddy to help him achieve the dream of luxury and romantic affirmations. Phil Lester, newly 24 and very rich, is searching for a romantic and sexual relationship. When stumbling upon the other on the internet, similar interests and all, have they found their match?

ao3 // tumblr

Archaic Allure (sonnet)

so as it turns out, writing a fic idea can really help you out with your grade (and yes, this is actually a sonnet)

g, 104

poetry, reminiscing, fluff, Dan’s pov

Dan reminisces his love for Phil - sonnet version

ao3 // tumblr

Something in your name

t, 3.2k

implied sexual content, fanfic about fanfic, emotional hurt/comfort, separation anxiety, established relationship; and more

phil reads a y/n fic ; guess who wrote it

ao3 // tumblr

Ellie enchanted

g, 986

fluff and angst, happy ending, parent!phan, new child, adoption, established relationship, self-doubt, implied homophobia

Dan and Phil pick up their adopted child

ao3 // tumblr

Chocolate swirls

g, 3.3k

parent!phan, snapshots, bday surprises, baking, fluff and angst, cake

Dan tries to surprise Phil for his 33rd. He fails, as humans do, but ten years later he has luckily got two adorable little helpers at his side. And maybe that makes everything just a little better.

ao3 // tumblr

Dan or Da?

on ao3 this fic is just called Da, so beware of that

t, 9k

parent!phan, friends to lovers, pretend relationship (not what you think), misunderstanding, getting together, implied sexual content, marriage, canon divergence, pov alternating

One day can change your life forever. For Phil, his daughter Mel, and Dan, who’d have guessed that day would be one when all they’ve planned is doing ordinary shopping together.

ao3 // tumblr

and that’s it!! thank you for reading this sweetums, and be sure to check out any of the fics

#my fic #my fics #me #mine #phanfic #phanfiction #phandom #phan #dnp #d&p #dan and phil #masterlist #masterpost #2020 #2020 roundup #fic roundup

25 notes · View notes

fizzypunks · 4 years

Text

its a date but its not a date

fandom: My Hero Academia/ Boku No Hero Academia word count: 3.8k/oneshot rating: t summary: hizashi takes shouta to a little festival and insists its not a date... just pure fluff bc <3

ship: Aizawa Shouta/ Hizashi Yamada | Erasermic

note: this reads better in AO3 because it keeps formatting for italics, which tumblr does not!

AO3

___

Yamada Hizashi wasn’t a timid person – it wasn’t even a quirk thing, it was just his nature, and it was something he was proud of. Sure, he’d been called loud and obnoxious, and some have been less than kind about his quirk when it’s gotten out of control. His quirk control wasn’t great for a very long time, but none of what he’d been called or heard had really changed the way he carries himself, and that includes his extroverted nature.

He was, however, a panicked person, when it came to matters of interest .

Love.

Whatever .

And, because love was the one thing that made him think twice about what he says, what he does or doesn’t do, that has landed him in the exact predicament that he’s facing right now.

Hizashi tapped his pen against his essay, the half filled pages of his stationary blurring together into a mass of lines and half-assed penmanship. He’d been staring at it for the past five minutes, when he’d given up on trying to ignore his annoying problem.

Shouta .

It’s been getting harder to ignore the stupid pull of something he’s recently identified as yearning that comes every time he thinks of his best friend. Stronger than any hurricane gale, it pulls in every thought he has until there are no more to be had. Just Shouta, and his messy hair, and the eyes he thinks are pretty despite always being so blood-shot.

Hizashi groans, faintly feeling heat spill across his cheeks. “God, why must I be so fucked?”

It’s not like he’s even asking him out on a date – no, he’s not bold enough to do that in their last year and semester of school– there’s no need for distractions like that right now, whatever outcome may or may not come from it…. no, he’s just asking to take Shouta to the Autumn festival at the park, because Shouta should do something fun and get out of his room and not explode from stress.

The poor guy has been spending all his time studying and stressing and sleeping even less , so of course Hizashi would want to help his friend out and get him to relax.

Yeah, that’s what it was – one friend asking another friend out because stress is bad.

That doesn’t change the nervous skip in his heart right now, as he sits at his desk and thinks about…

Hizashi groans again, tipping back in his chair and hooking his foot against the back of his desk so that he’s less likely to tumble. Theoretically, at least.

Why does it feel so significant right now? He’d asked Shouta to do countless things with him! He’d gotten him to agree to go to the movies a bunch of times, and to a party or two, and, most recently, he’d even been able to rope him into going to a karaoke club! He didn’t sing, they left earlier than he’d planned, but Shouta had fun!

Hizashi narrowed his eyes at the white ceiling and the ceiling fan that whirled past his vision, playing with the very edge of the wooden panel that kept him from tumbling onto his carpet.

This wasn’t supposed to mean anything, but somehow it did.

It felt like a declaration, no matter how he phrased it in his head, and he doesn’t understand the logic behind it.

Fine. Whatever! I’ll just ask, and be blunt, and do it right before I leave so there’s no room for thinking, and it’ll be okay!

Something like, “Hey, Shouta, let’s go to this festival! It’ll be so much fun! PLUS, I think you’ll look cute sharing cocoa with me!”

Hizashi’s eyes widened, his foot slipped in that one moment of lost focus, and he fell –

“ Fuck!”

It was a little too loud, bordering on quirk use, but he had other problems to think about beside that .

He rubbed the back of his head.

“Man…”

If he can’t even imagine it the right way… how was he supposed to actually ask? It would be pretty stupid to try when he knew he could act a little too carelessly and, potentially, damage the good friendship they had going on.It was probably better left un-asked.

Unsaid, un-asked, and out of mind.

It was most certainly not out of mind, that is clear.

Shouta is sitting across from him, half-mast eyes scanning the copy of his English text book in a way that looked a lot more performative than informative. Their booth was tucked more toward the back of the cafe, and it would normally be a bit more secluded and quiet, but midterms brought students from the woodwork and into any coffee-scented establishment, which their happened to be.

What great luck.

All around them was the sound of machines grinding coffee, books being shifted around, and light conversation in between bouts of half-silences – and a heavy vale of constant movement that proved to be less than ideal for studying, despite all the students trying to do just that .

It was to be expected this time of year, but it was still enough to bother Shouta. He concentrated better with silence, and he happened to be struggling a lot more on English than he does on his other subjects.

Hizashi, thankfully, understood the material enough for the both of them and then some, and already finished his homework – the papers in front of him were notes, ready to be explained the moment Shouta needed it, with hand-writing that was still pretty bad but…

For Shouta, he’d made an effort. The result was somewhat-legible scribbles lining the papers, and when he referenced it, Shouta didn’t have to ask too many questions about, “what is this right here?”

“I’m not going to pass.”

Hizashi turned his eyes to Shouta, like he hadn’t been trying to find a reason to look at him longer. He was wearing a big, thick red scarf, which his hair was somewhat tucked into. He didn’t look up, he just kept his eyes on his text book. His irises weren’t moving on the page.

“Oh man, don’t say that! How’d you think you’re gonna pass if you don’t believe in yourself?”

“It’s because I don’t believe in myself.”

Hizashi grabbed his warm cocoa and took a sip, if only to busy his hands with something . “Shouta! I don’t like this type of negativity!”

“Well, you’ve chosen the wrong friendship then.”

“Or, maybe, the right one!”

Shouta looked up, and Hizashi held his gaze. His eyes had been given a break over the past few days of written work, so the redness that often lined them was almost completely gone.

His skin looked soft too…

His hair, it was fluffy and cute, also..

“Hizashi?”

He’d been staring and not talking and he leaned back into his seat like a magnet to metal. He started laughing, holding his drink up to his face. “Well, maybe I can cheer you up! What are friends for, right? And maybe it will turn that attitude around, ya think?”

“You’re not making any sense?”

Hizashi hated that it was true but there’s no going back now – his mouth was ten steps ahead of him anyway, and not even he could stop it.

He smiled widely at Shouta. “I mean, maybe I’m here to make sure you don’t stress yourself out so much! You always do so much but never check yourself, and I’m here to fix that!”

Shouta huffed, head bobbing just a bit. Then he smirked and Hizashi had to concentrate on his breathing. “And how do you propose you’d do that?”

Oh, it was so easy – this was the opportunity the gods gave him after seeing him fall on his ass just a few days before.

Hizashi leaned forward, and set his elbows down on his notes, a hot cocoa between them. “One word. Festival .”

Shouta’s eyebrows quirked down just a bit, and he tilted his head to the side, his hair tilting with him. “Festival?”

“What do ya say? The park next to my neighborhood has one this weekend, and it’s free, and there’s food, and I really wanna go!”

Hizashi grew pink at the admission, fought against the urge to cover his mouth, but Shouta didn’t comment.

Then, a little surprisingly, instead of arguing or finding reasons why it wasn’t logical to take time away from studies so close to exams, he gave him a smile.

A small, intentional, Shouta smile. “Sure.”

Hizashi tried to not sound over-enthused – just nodded his head and almost squeezed his cup too hard. “Yes! I finally got you to agree to do something!”

“You always get me to do things.”

“Yes, and I did it again!”

Shouta rolled his eyes, and turned his attention back down to the English he’d never really understand.

Hizashi was certain he looked fine. He wasn’t sure if it was great , but it was probably fine, and whatever.

Beside, had many other things to worry about, that were a lot more important than whether or not his shirt matched his shoes. Like, for one, how he still couldn’t quite shake the feeling of significance .

It was back, that nagging intrusion into his thoughts that insisted that something was supposed to be different this time. As he looked over his outfit in his body mirror, pulling over his heavy, long jacket, he had to remind himself that there was nothing different about today. Even if he really, in his heart, wanted there to be something different.

Huh.

So maybe the difference was the amount of yearning – Hizashi sighed, thinking about his feelings last year and comparing them to now.

He huffed, a huge sigh finally making itself known.

Yeah, the feelings he had now were bigger and grander than they’d been last year and they threatened to take over his life if he let them…

Hizashi sighed, rubbed his hands over his face, and pushed his hair back only to reveal his pink, flustered expression to its fullest.

“Sweet lord, have mercy on me! I am an idiot with a crush!”

He collapsed onto his bed and waited out the last of the thirty minutes before Shouta was going to arrive at his door.

Shouta knocked, and Hizashi was already ready – his heart doing flips like he’d never experienced, but oddly enough, it didn’t feel bad. It felt exciting, and loving, and when he opened the door to the crisp autumn air, it felt like home .

Stop that!

Shouta, for all his questionable outfits, looked nice . And he always looked nice, but now he was wearing black boots, and brown khakis that somehow sort of matched Hizashi’s own, and a black tee underneath a black jacket.

He never went anywhere in the cold without a scarf, either, and today was no exception. A red variety was ceremoniously draped around his neck, loose enough to not be covering his face.

Hizashi tried not to beam, but felt the shape his eyes took at the other and knew it wasn’t working. “Ready?!” He asked, a little too loud.

“Yes… you said it was close, right? At the park?”

Hizashi nodded, stepping out and slipping his hand into a pocket to make sure he had his keys and wallet. Confirming quickly, he shut the door behind him, again, with a little too much enthusiasm.

He was buzzing . Some type of energy that he normally had built up in him, that he normally kept pretty good reins on, was taking over –

He was so excited, but, even more – he was just happy .

He looked to Shouta, and smiled, and then led the way down his steps and onto the quiet street. The sky was clear, save for some cloud further down on the horizon. The trees were starting to make themselves barren, and the smell of wood burning fires started to break out as soon as the sun hit its peak.

The neighborhood, secluded and at peace, was quiet, and Shouta walked beside him in comfort.

Hizashi never struggled to say anything, and now is no different – except it is, when he thinks he’ll say something dumb like “hey i like you so much, you make my world right, also I love you. ”

He can’t say that.

But he really, really wants to.

He’s wanted to for years, and he’s almost said it more than once, and now he’s let the silence build around them…

Shouta often takes mercy on him, and so he did it again this time. Their pace was slow and there was a little bit of space between them, and he sighs. “This is really nice.”

Hizashi smiles, keeps his eyes on the road as it winds forward. “I’m glad you think so! We’ve stressed so much, it’s a good weekend getaway, don’t you think?”

Shouta laughs – it’s more of a chuckle, but it’s a laugh where Shouta is concerned. “Yeah, you’re right. I needed this, a lot, I think…”

They reach the corner, looking for cars that weren’t coming. The crest of trees a few blocks ahead could be seen above rooftops, and that’s where Hizashi fixes his gaze. “Me too,” he says softly, and leaves it at that because he’s always on the verge of too many words.

“You seem really… energized.”

Hizashi fumbles with his hands, pretending to warm them up and not like he’s nervous. “When am I not!”

Shouta hums, and it’s so deep and close that it makes Hizashi wish he could just…

But then Shouta reaches out, and grabs at the hands Hizashi is cradling in front of him, blunt and to the point. He takes Hizashi’s left hand and slots their fingers together in his right, and Hizashi knows he can feel the clamminess…

He looks back, sputtering, his heart erratic, “Shou – wha– I’m –”

Does he know this is messing with me?

And Shouta, in that calm, stupid way he always carries himself, smiles. “Maybe that’s what I’m here for.”

He squeezes their hands, and Hizashi must look confused because Shouta laughs.

“You always try to bring me up, so I think I can help bring you calm… You seem nervous, so,” he looked at their hands, swung them just a bit for emphasis. “Calm.”

Hizashi feels every bit of himself crumble, falls away like a cliff against a storm, and smiles because it’s all he can do. He blushes and he can feel how it spreads, and he doesn’t say anything because every sentence ends in I love you .

The festival was a pleasant and home-y affair, and after they’d gotten there, they’d learned that it was quite bigger than either of them anticipated. Though it was still a neighborhood one, hosted by the local families and park itself, it was still filled to every corner.

They’d gotten there during the peak of the sun, but it quickly descended as they wove in and out of the scattered foot traffic. The air was crisper where the lake sat in the center of the park, and the trees casted half shadows around the food and merchant vendors.

They were walking around for less than an hour before the lanterns and torches were starting to light around them.

Shouta still held Hizashi’s hand, and once he’d accepted the lovely fact, he’d loosened up enough to feel like his mouth wasn’t going to get him into trouble.

“Wow! Shou! Look!” He pointed out, across the deep blue lake, to the hovering lights that surrounded it.

Shouta hummed warmly. “It looks very nice.”

Hizashi was still smiling, still enamored by the lights as they floated out across his vision – the way the cool air from the dipping sun brushed against his skin and somehow made all the warmth in him that much warmer.

He quickly cast his eyes down to Shouta, and found him looking at him.

Hizashi’s ears burned and he looked away really fast, heart thumping deep in the cage of his chest.

Oh don’t you dare say it. Don’t you DARE.

“Um…” He said softly, intentionally because otherwise his quirk might get the best of him – he didn’t know if he was embarrassed by his enthusiasm, or by the way Shouta was watching him, but it all went away when Shouta tugged them along the side of the lake.

It’s a few more moments before Hizashi gathers up the right words to say – the ones that aren’t gushy and filled with emotions he’s certain Shouta wouldn’t reflect.

“So!” He starts, looking around now that they were near the cluster of food stands. The air was filled with burning wood, meat, sauce, alive with the sound of simmering and laughter. “Want food? My treat! We can’t walk away without trying everything at least once!”

“I didn’t know you were rich enough to do that.”

Hizashi chuckled. “I’m serious, though. Whatever you want!”

Hizashi ignored the eyes tilted his way, right before leading off to Hizashi’s right. Hizashi turns around enough to look at the little stand and it’s cloth menu.

It was a takoyaki shop, with different bao, and there was no line.

Hizashi smiled, and it was his turn to tug Shouta forward. He couldn’t really look at him, not just yet any way, but he could hear the light lilt in his voice when he ordered from the kind eyed older man at the register. Hizashi made his order quickly, and paid, and they walked away with various stacks of food.

It wasn’t even a question where they’d go, and they found a spot under a tree to sit with their food.

The grass was cut, and the little hill they sat on overlooked a great deal of the sprawling festival that surrounded them. Up here, the voices that surrounded them, the chatter, the laughter that Hizashi was not interested in, was duller – muted, and when Shouta hummed in hungry appreciation at his bao, it made his heart ache all the more.

He snuck a look to his right, graced by the mercy of Shouta closing his eyes. He’d just taken a bite, had unravelled most of his scarf to do so, and was now enjoying it for all it’s worth.

Hizashi’s eyes softened at the sight.

God.

And Shouta opened his eyes, in his direction like he just knew.

Hizashi looked down and took his bao. “This looks good! I should eat like this more.”

“You should take me to more festivals, too.”

Hizashi choked a bit – he recovered fast, and cast a glance toward Shouta. “Sure thing!”

This feeling...

Maybe this is what he had been feeling – the lead up to whatever moment this was. The way Shouta really took the time to look at him, not through him. Like he was paying attention.

Maybe…

Hizashi held his oversized bao in both hands and looked forward. It suddenly didn’t feel like such a bad idea to speak. To say whatever it was that he was going to say, because for Shouta, it would always be okay…

Didn’t make him feel any more at ease, not with the stupid thought in his head that maybe he was misreading whatever today was. Who knows, maybe Shouta always paid attention to him like this? And sure, the hands thing… that was new, but maybe Shouta just really likes holding hands but he needs to be comfortable with the person, and now after three years he’s finally comfortable with Hizashi?

If you’re gonna say something…

“Hey,” he started.

Say it now.

“I’m having a really good time.”

He doesn’t take his wide, blown-out eyes from the festival. It was dark enough that every lantern stood out like little stars, and the breeze was so nice…

“If you want… we can, um, do this again. I’ll find another festival, but I can’t guarantee it’ll be free this time, but I’ll try! And I’ll see if I can sneak in some home made food too so we can spend more money on like, cute stuff from the merchants. I saw this plush down there, actually, and it was a cat , so maybe –”

No, Hizashi wasn’t a timid person – but, still , it was probably for the best that Shouta was the first one to move. He grabbed Hizashi’s hand, urging it away from the bao so that he could hold it again.

He’d pulled his attention to the forefront, and his eyes to finally meet his, and he realized that Shouta had moved so much closer…

The dark of his eyes was so close, and he was smiling …

“You talk a lot when you’re nervous.”

There wasn’t a way to hide the flush, so Hizashi looked down, feeling too open. “I’m sorry…”

He couldn’t see his eyes, but he could see his smile. “I like it, though.”

“What about if I say I like you... Will you still like it?”

Please…!

Shouta didn’t leave him any time to doubt.

“It makes it a lot easier… for me to say I like you, too… yeah, I’d like it…”

Hizashi’s entire body was fireworks – explosions and exclamations and that same buzzing energy that gripped him every time he thought of Shouta. He grinned, and looked up to see Shouta was just as embarrassed and flustered as he was.

He’d normally have to look away, but he assumed he had permission now, and…

God you’re so pretty…

His eyes, his eyelashes, the way his eyes bend against his smile and how he’d never seen him smile like this before…

Hizashi abandoned the bao in his lap and pushed away the hair that framed his face, slowly, not sure if it was too much to hold his face –

“I’m – I’m sorry, can I?”

Shouta nodded. “And you can kiss me too, in case you weren’t sure…”

That was all the reason he needed.

He’d had so many reasons, so many countless reasons he loved him...

He cupped his jaw, still acutely aware of the way Shouta was still holding on to his hand in the grass –

It was cold, that was true, but right now he was warm with nerves and excitement and love , and he leaned in –

His breath, so warm –

His lips, so soft –

And neither of them were particularly experienced or daring, so after a few seconds when he finally parted their lips just a bit, they pulled away, just enough to speak.

“Mmm, you taste like bao,” he said, and then wished someone was there in his brain to stop whatever dumb shit was trying to get out.

Shouta just laughed. “So do you.”

The rest of their night was spent on that hill, kissing and talking and, eventually, finishing their food. When they finally left, Hizashi found that plush cat at the vendor near the entrance of the park and gave it to Shouta. Shouta blushed, and Hizashi glowed with comfortable warmth, glad that he can now get cute things for his boyfriend.

#erasermic #yamada hizashi #aizawa shouta #aizawa #writing #oneshot #mha #bnha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #long post #xpost #prompted for fluff and autumn...#my discord server is so nice ahhh #fluff

18 notes · View notes

caws5749 · 4 years

Text

This took SO LONG thanks @natthisback

1: Name Madison

2: Age 21

3: 3 fears spiders, not becoming a doctor, becoming like my parents

4: 3 things i love marvel movies, my blanket (whoops), and scrunchies

5: 4 turn ons compliment me, be chivalrous, (idk if this means sex turn on too or not but) moaning my n- ANYWHO uh and the last one definitely like showing you want me

6: 4 turn offs someone who only talks about themselves, being like wishy washy, being arrogant/cocky, complaining about the same things

7: my best friend that would be shea @cloversofshea

8: sexual orientation lesbian

9: my best first date okay SO this like isn’t a first date but it was my first like nicer dinner date so I’m gonna count it. It was just this past weekend actually and i just i loved it so much it was amazing

10: how tall am i 5’2

11: what do i miss honestly, feeling like i was good at things

12: what time were i born 11:14am

13: favorite color purple, although it’s slowly been turning to like a baby light pink

14: do i have a crush yes yes i do and i likes her a lot

15: favorite quote “Truth is a matter of circumstance. It’s not all things to all people all the time. And neither am I.”

16: favorite place Chicago or New York City

17: favorite food SALMON

18: do i use sarcasm yes, but i feel like i don’t use it as much as i used to

19: what am i listening to right now Christmas pop playlist on Spotify

20: first thing i notice in new person whether they only talk about themselves

21: shoe size 8 or 8.5

22: eye color blue

23: hair color right now, it’s a brown that goes to blond at my ends

24: favorite style of clothing so if this means like fav style to wear daily, definitely athleisure. If it means in general, i love love love preppy looks? But not super preppy.

25: ever done a prank call? Absolutely, many times

27: meaning behind my url i explain this in my about me page (linked in bio!)

28: favorite movie captain America winter soldier

29: favorite song i don’t really have favorite songs but rn it’s prob December night by Michael buble

30: favorite band i don’t really have fav bands

31: how i feel right now it’s really hot in here, so warm. I feel okay

32: someone i love i love lots of people but ill stick with @cloversofshea

33: my current relationship status I’ve answered this so many times literally just look at the ask game tag

34: my relationship with my parents um yikes

35: favorite holiday Halloween

36: tattoos and piercing i have i have 6 tattoos! “Breathe” on my right inner ankle, a heart on left shoulder, heart w equal sign in it behind right ear, basically an ecg on my left inner ankle, Aquarius symbol on right bicep, and caws 5749 on my left side. And my ears are pierced.

37: tattoos and piercing i want definitely the black widow symbol in the same place Scarlett got her og6 tattoo, an amino acid tattoo that spells out “wah” , definitely more little tattoos! And maybe more ear piercings idk

38: the reason i joined tumblr so, I’ve had a tumblr for many many years. I originally joined bc my best friends at the time had them, and i was like sure! Ive deleted that personal blog since, and started my new personal blog a few years ago. I also have a studyblr that i started i think back in high school, and i just started this blog back in the end of July!

39: do i and my last ex hate each other no, I’d say far from it bc i likes her a lot

40: do i ever get “good morning” or “good night” texts yes from her and i fucking love it, it used to be a bigger thing almost every day and i loved it

41: have i ever kissed the last person i texted lmao no and for those who were wondering it is @cloversofshea

42: when did i last hold hands LMAO WITH @michelinaamour WHEN I WAS STUMBLING HOME DRUNK IN HIGH HEELS

43: how long does it take me to get ready in the morning it depends, anywhere from ten minutes to an hour and a half

44: have you shaved your legs in the past three days no! I am super lucky and have really light colored hairs on my legs and so i dont’ have to shave very often. Also i just want to say that i personally love shaving my legs and it is my choice to do so.. girls, you do not need to shave!!

45: where am i right now so i started answering this in the research lab, but i am currently sitting at one of the dining places on campus finishing it

46: if i were drunk and can’t stand, who’s taking care of me LMAO DEFINITELY @michelinaamour because she’s done it ALREADY FOR ME MULTIPLE TIMES

47: do i like my music loud or at a reasonable level it depends, in car trips, definitely blast it. But just driving around or listening in doors, definitely reasonable level

48: do i live with my mom and dad nope i live with @michelinaamour

49: am i excited for anything yes, I’m excited for lots of things. I get excited easily

50: do i have someone of the opposite sex i can tell everything to no. I used to

51: how often do i wear a fake smile this is a really interesting question. I don’t consider smiles i give to random people like ordering food or something to be fake, so i would say fake smiles are when I’m not okay and trying to hide it. Which happens less often now bc I’m just much happier of a person

52: when was the last time i hugged someone I think it was @michelinaamour two days ago but i think i hugged @cloversofshea that day too so

53: what if the last person i kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me I’d be heartbroken tbh

54: is there anyone i trust even though i should not yes, certain adults in my life

55: what is something i disliked about today my hair won’t do what i want it to :(

56: if i could meet anyone on this earth who would it be probably Chris Evans or Scarlett Johansson

57: what do i think about the most tumblr and everything with that, or probably her or school stuff definitely

58: what’s my strangest talent i don’t think i have any lol

59: do i have any strange phobias yes definitely haha, I’m terrified of stepping on worms

60: do i prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it i think a few years ago i would have said behind, but honestly I think I’d love to be in front of the camera now

61: what was the last lie i told i actually don’t know. Maybe this past weekend as to like the fact that i was going out on a date instead of just going out with a friend

62: do i prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online I’d say talking on the phone bc then they cant’ see me lmao

63: do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Yes and yes

64: do i believe in magic? Yes, or at least, that’s what i tell myself

65: do i believe in luck yes

66: what’s the weather like right now snowy!

67: what was the last book I’ve ever read The Butchering Art, it’s about the history of surgery

68: do i like the smell of gasoline omg yes yes yes yes yes yes

69: do i have any nicknames yes, madz, madi, girl who lives by the kitchen, queen (a new one) and clown (also a new one) thanks @natthisback

70: what was the worst injury I’ve ever had back in freshman year of college, i did something stupid and my foot swelled up like hell and hurt so bad. There were no fractures detected but the swelling stayed for a really long time, as well as the bruising and pain, and it never returned to normal

71: do i spent my money or save it SPEND IT BABY

72: can i touch my nose w my tongue no I’m not that talented

73: is there anything pink in 10 ft from me. Hmm part of my backpack? And my rings are pinkish bc they are rose gold. Oh and my scrunchie is pink, as well as my iPad

74: favorite animal cat

75: what was i doing last night at 12am i was still at work In the emergency room!

76: what do i think satan’s last name is uh honestly Jim lmao (it’s demons Jim! @cloversofshea )

77: what’s a song that always makes me happy when i hear it so good by dove Cameron

78: how can you win my heart suggest we watch a marvel movie, and I’m prob straight up in love. There are other things too but they’re pretty general, like compliment me, show you want me ya know

79: what would i want to be written on my tombstone haha, as a joke, “so realy its very thing. Just to keep everyone guessing.” But idk something funny

80: what is my favorite word i have no idea, maybe like sophisticated or something like that or aesthetic , champagne is a good one too

81: my top 5 blogs on tumblr ooh! Okay so @markiplier @lesbian-deadpool @americasass-romanoff @lesbianmariahilll @shining-rey-of-sunshine but i love so so so so so many more, and i have a lot of top blogs

82: if the whole world were listening to me right now what would i say fuck trump also I’m gay as hell and I’m growing tired of hiding it from people

83: do i have any relatives in jail not that i know of

84: i accidentally eat some radioactive vegatables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super power of my choice! What is that power lmao this question is great. Prob same powers as Wanda

85: what would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on any weird fetis- JUST KIDDING. Do you still think about them?

86: what is my current desktop picture so on my laptop, it’s fall flowers. But since that’s broken af, i use my iPad and that background is one of the apple ones. It’s just a beach idk why but I’ve never changed it

87: had sex WHY IS THIS IN EVERY SINGLE ASK GAME WTF

88: bought condoms nope i am gay as hell bye

89: gotten pregnant nope i am gay as hell bye

90: failed a class nope, definitely come close though

91: kissed a boy yes

92: kissed a girl yes

93: have i ever kissed somebody in th rain honestly, probably at some point, but I’ve never had one of those romantic kisses in the rain. I really really want to though and i think about it a lot

94: had job yeah, I’ve had three true jobs

95: left the house without my wallet probably

96: bullied someone on the internet no bc I’m not a fucking douche

97: had sex in public not yet

98: played on a sports team yeah, played softball and basketball in middle school

99: smoked weed yeah, but i didn’t get high

100: did drugs nope

101: smoked cigarettes nope, i think i asked drunk once if i could smoke, but my friend was like “really?” And i was like uhhhhhh just kidding haha

102: drank alcohol lmao i drink fucking all the time i mean. I literally have drunk writing nights , I’m drinking tonight too

103: am i a vegetarian/vegan i was a vegetarian for a while, and then an aspiring vegan, and then vegetarian, and then pescatarian now!

104: been overweight no

105: been underweight yes

106: been to a wedding yeah, but like not for a long time. I was like 4 and the flower girl. Oh WAIT. Does playing a wedding count? I played cello at a wedding so i was there???

107: been on the computer for 5 hours straight hell yeah, how would i function not doing this with class and relaxing

108: watched tv for 5 hours straight lmao definitely

109: been outside my home country yeah

110: gotten my heart broken yeah

111: been to a professional sports game yeah. I don’t really do sports though , so when i go it’s usually in suites and I’m just there for the food

112: broken a bone nope!

113: cut myself this is...a. Really deep question but bc i want to be able to speak about mental health on here, the answer is yes.

114: been to prom yes! I went to my junior and senior proms!

115: been in airplane too many times

116: fly by helicopter no, I’m not sure if i want to do this or not

117: what concerts have i been to I’ve been to lots. So first off, I’ve been to hundreds of classical concerts (and performed in them). As for pop, Bruno mars twice, maroon five like three times. Selena Gomez. Josh groban. American authors. Definitely others that i don’t remember

118: had a crush on someone of the same sex yes I’m fucking gay

119: learned another language so if this means fluent, no. I took a decent amount of French and am learning Russian right now!

120: wore make up absolutely. When i choose to wear makeup, its because i fuckign love makeup haha. Most days I’m lazy though and like to let my skin breathe and be natural

121: lost my virginity before I was 18 no

122: had oral sex yeah

123: dyed my hair many times

124: voted in a presidential election okay i think so but honestly can’t remember. But I’m pretty sure i did.

125: rode in an ambulance no and i never want to.

126: had a surgery no and i never want to haha. Well i cant say that. Depending on how my life plays out, I might freeze my eggs or something.

127: met someone famous yes, several I think, but probably Henry winkler was the one I remember most.

128: stalked someone on a social network yeah

129: peed outside nope don’t think so and definitely don’t want to

130: been fishing yes I have been ice fishing and regular fishing

131: helped w charity i have!

132: been rejected by a crush I’ve been not liked back but i don’t think I’ve ever made like a move on a crush and been rejected

133: broken a mirror ooh i don’t think i have actually

134: what do i want for birthday nothing bc i dont’ like my bday

#madison speaks #ask game

14 notes · View notes

grasslandgirl · 5 years

Note

10 + eldonado bc I'm just curious to see where u go w it

hey rachel maybe i love you!!

10: [i love you] not said to me

[inspo, 9:27-10:11 and inspo, 1:09-1:54]

---

Peter’s heart hurt. Before now, he didn’t know that hearts could hurt, not like this. They were a muscle, yes, and people got heart burn and heart attacks and other medical problems that likely caused their hearts to hurt. But all the stuff in the movies and in songs, about a broken heart hurting so bad you can feel it? Peter always thought it was just some dramatic bullshit. Which was a lot, coming from him.

But now he was forced to- begrudgingly- admit, that they were right. A broken heart did hurt. Like something was shoved into his heart, or like there was an empty chasm in his chest. It hurt like nothing he had felt before. Peter bit his lip and turned and walked away.

What he had seen and overheard echoed in his head, repeating over and over until it was all he could see, all he could hear, leaning against the wall in a silent hallway.

It was Sam, standing in his room, his back to the door. This, at least, hadn’t been surprising- shouldn’t have been- given that it was Sam’s house. Gabi had been sitting opposite him, on Sam’s bed, her eyes locked onto Sam. This hadn’t been overly surprising either, Gabi and Sam were close friends and she wandered into the Ecklund house unannounced about as often as Peter did.

Peter had paused in the doorway and opened his mouth to speak, hoping that he wasn’t interrupting anything important by barging into his friends’ conversation. But before he could say or do anything, Sam cut him off.

“Ok, I’ve been sitting on this for a while,” Peter knew he shouldn’t be hovering, silently listening in on a private conversation. But he also had the instincts of a nosy documentarian, and his interest in what Sam was saying to Gabi was stronger than his moral impulse. “And I know I should have said something earlier, but I didn’t want anything to change,” Sam continued. “But I can’t keep pretending I don’t feel the way I do, so I’m just going to out and say it.” The alarm bells were ringing in Peter’s head at this point, but he was in too deep to back out now.

“I love you,” Sam said to Gabi, and Peter’s world all but shattered.

Back in sophomore year, if you had asked Peter, he would have sworn that Sam liked Gabi as more than a friend. But things had changed since then, they had both grown up, Sam had come out as bisexual, and something in their friendship had shifted.

From the outside, it probably hadn’t looked much different. They still bickered and teased and spend all odd hours of the day together, just as they always did. But now, Sam would lean his head against Peter’s shoulder while they sat on the couch watching a movie. His hand would linger, a second longer than it used to, when he handed Peter his phone. Peter could feel Sam’s eyes on him, soft and familiar, even from across the classroom. He hadn’t said anything, hadn’t wanted to jinx it, but it had felt like they were building up to something.

Something bigger than them, something more than just freindship, something Peter had been longing for for years now. And for a moment, Peter had finally let himself hope.

Just to have it all crashing down.

Because he was wrong. And of course he was, why would someone like Sam- funny and smart and kind- choose Peter? Why would he have feelings for Peter when Peter knew he had loved Gabi for years now. Peter had been saying it, thinking it, believing it for ages. And when he finally let himself slip, let himself believe that maybe he was wrong, maybe Sam didn’t love Gabi, maybe he had a shot- it all came crashing down around him.

Peter slumped further against the wall. He thought it was the one outside of Sam’s sister Kara’s room, and he hoped that she wasn’t inside- though it would be just his luck at this point for her to come out and discover him, midway through a breakdown. Peter just wanted to slip out the back door and disappear home, where he could wallow in heartbreak in peace.

The one good thing about him showing up at Sam’s unannounced, at least- he didn’t have to face Sam before running away like a coward. Sam didn’t ever have to know that he was here at all.

“I love you,” Sam said, trying his best to maintain eye contact with Gabi, “And it’s fine if you don’t feel the same way, Pete, but I can’t not say anything anylonger. I love you, Peter.”

Gabi’s face twisted into an expression Sam knew meant she was trying her absolute hardest not to laugh- and was failing.

“Gabs!” He groaned, collapsing face-first onto the bed beside her. He felt more than heard her dissolve into giggles. “You’re supposed to be taking this seriously.” He mumbled into his pillow before turning on his side to face her. “How am I supposed to tell Peter this if I can’t even tell it to you? And you laughing at me every time I try isn’t going to help!”

“I’m sorry,” Gabi did her best to sober up, schooling her expressions into a look of soft compassion. “I know you’re struggling with this, and I’m sorry I keep laughing.” She broke out into a grin, “But I can’t help it that I find you confessing your heart to me-as-Peter intolerably hilarious.”

“You’re the worst best friend,” Sam grumbled, shoving her shoulder.

“You love me!”

“Shut up!”

Peter was ignoring him. Which meant that he was pissed about something, because Peter had two modes when he was angry- sullen distance, and exploding in your face. The thing was, Sam had no idea why Peter was pissed at him in the first place.

It had been three days since Peter had last texted him or talked to him normally, which mean Sam had suffered through three days of ignored memes and awkward classes. And he was sick of it.

If Peter was going to be pissed at him, Sam wanted to know why. Also, Peter ignoring him was really fucking up Sam’s plans to confess at their next movie night the following weekend, so.

“Peter! Peter Maldonado!” Sam yelled, banging on the front door of his house, “Either come let me in or I swear to god I’ll go dig your spare key out of the backyard!” Which was true. The Maldonados had kept their spare key in the same place in the backyard since they had moved here, and Sam had known where it was since the fifth grade.

The front door suddenly yanked open, and there was Peter, in all his sullen, pissed off glory. How on earth, Sam wondered, does he manage to look beautiful while he’s pissed at me?

“What do you want, Sam?” Peter asked, determinedly looking past Sam, over his shoulder to firmly avoid eye contact.

“I want to know why you’re pissed at me,” Sam responded, crossing his arms. He had long since discovered that bluntness worked best with Peter in general, but especially when he was angry.

Peter’s eyes darted to Sam’s. His frown tightened, and he ground out a tight, “I’m just dealing with something.”

“Dude,” Sam said, “you’ve got to talk to me when you’re pissed, cause I don’t know what I did to make you mad, ok? So if you’re expecting me to apologize or something, that’s gonna be difficult given that I don’t know what you’re worked up about.”

“You don’t have to apologize for anything, you didn’t do anything.” Peter said, somehow managing to look angrier than he had before.

“What do you mean I didn’t do anything? If I didn’t do anything, then why are you pissed at me?”

“I don’t have to tell you.”

“Pete! What the fuck? Quit being an asshole and just talk to me! Why are you so angry?”

“Because you’re in love with Gabi!” Peter shouted, and the moment froze.

All the anger in Peter’s face sloughed off like rainwater, leaving him looking sad and vulnerable. Sam stood for a second in shock, before he whispered, “Why the fuck do you think I’m in love with Gabi?”

“I overheard you telling her-” Peter started to speak, until Sam cut him off.

“Pete, I’m in love with you.”

Silence fell over them like a blanket, and for the first time, it struck Sam that they were having this argument, this conversation on Peter’s front porch. And that he had just told his best friend he loved him for the first time in the middle of the afternoon on a Wednesday.

Sam waited, but for the first few seconds Peter didn’t say anything. “Pete,” Sam said quickly, starting on damage control for their friendship and his pride, “I-”

“I love you too, Sam.” Peter said, so softly Sam would have missed it, if not for the hopeful expression on Peter’s face. One so full of love and happiness that Sam would have had to be blind to miss it.

“Yeah?” Sam breathed, not quite wanting to believe it.

“Yeah,” Peter nodded, grinning and shining like the sun.

And then Sam kissed him.

And maybe it was on Peter’s front porch, maybe it was a standard Wednesday afternoon, maybe the kiss was awkward and sloppy at first, but Sam couldn’t bring himself to care, because he was kissing Peter Maldonado. And Peter was kissing him back.

ahhhhh!! thats it omggg rachel i can’t believe this ended up being a whopping 1,500 words.... some drabble!!

send me a way I said I love you and a pairing for a drabble!

25 notes · View notes

sicklylittlesnowflake · 7 years

Note

Hi! I'm sorry this might be a little strange but I remember you said you've done some theatre and I really love the setting. I wondered if you'd be up for a LesMis theatre AU sickfic? I love the Ida of E nearly losing his voice and R forcing tea on him to get through the show. Then E crashing when it's over and R taking him home and E feeling like he late every one down and R having done of it. Thank you sweetie ❤️

(Strange?! This is not strange at all anon I lowkey wanted to write this and I’m so glad I have the excuse to lmao..theatre au les mis is my fav and the multi part fic I’m working on is actually an actor!e and struggling musician!r so..YES. I LOVE THIS. HMU WITH ALL UR THEATRE AUS. Ok so for background the Les Amis are doing a production of Next to Normal and E is Gabe and R is the head of the tech department!! Tbh R is on tech bc it reminds me of that tech girl I had a crush on when I did Les Mis :“) )

Theatre was the art of losing yourself and taking on a new soul.

Enjolras loved theatre and acting since he was a child. There was something so enthralling to him about taking on somebody else’s skin and becoming a whole new person with their own individual thoughts and perspectives.

Enjolras finds human beings fascinating, at awe with how complex they were and how each person to exist had their own vastly different thoughts and a whole new perspective to his own. It is such a wonderful experience to see the world from different eyes.

He isn’t comfortable in his own skin. He can never feel like he is good enough, he always feels like something is missing inside of him, he doesn’t feel at one with himself and like he’s detached from his own body, hovering over it and wondering how he’s supposed to get in and understand himself. Enjolras plays other characters so he can learn from them, hoping that he can begin to understand himself by understanding others. It’s a euphoric escape to be someone else and get away from himself for once. Enjolras is pretty tired of himself.

That being said as Enjolras pours his heart and soul into bringing these characters alive, in the process he neglects himself. Sometimes he forgets he’s real.

Enjolras blends away at his stage makeup tiredly, feeling exhaustion basically seeping into his bones. The lights fade in and out of his vision, he feels heavy, and too weak, and fevered. He sniffles, and continues to pat the concealer on top his darkly coloured under-eyes, trying to hide his true state beneath all this makeup.

His throat itches, and he turns away from his mirror and coughs violently into his shirt sleeve, tearing up as his chest aches from his chesty coughs, spluttering. He blindly grabs for a glass of water, and gulps the little that remains down hungrily. He groans, looking back to see his watery, red eyes and reddened nose.

He rolls his eyes at himself as he tries to carefully dab away at the wetness of his face, as not to ruin the makeup that’s already there, and nearly messes up the whole thing as he jumps when someone suddenly bursts through the door.

"Fuck!” Enjolras croaks, his voice raspy and all sorts of husky. He cringes, and clears his throat to fix his horrendous voice.

“Didn’t know Gabe was a heavy chain smoker,” Grantaire teases, a mug of tea and strepsils in his hands.

He’s a pain in the ass, but Grantaire is one of the reasons Enjolras wants to be comfortable with himself, because in this world, Grantaire is in it. It’s the only bad thing about theatre, because despite how amazing being in a different world is, Grantaire isn’t in it. That is a world Enjolras doesn’t want to live in, a world without his sunny, shining smile is already a little bit darker.

Enjolras rolls his eyes, opening his mouth to shoot back a snide remark when his nose is suddenly twitching and he’s turning away from Grantaire and retreating into the crook of his arm to sneeze twice.

Slightly embarrassed and not wanting Grantaire to worry about him, he clears his throat and bounces back, “Sorry, I’m just allergic to your bullshit, ‘Taire.”

Grantaire searches for a comeback, but he comes empty and he sighs in defeat, “Okay, that was a good one.”

Enjolras smirks in victory as Grantaire shuffles towards him and shoves the mug of tea into his hands, and presses a sweet little kiss on to Enjolras’s nose.

“You’re losing your voice, dear,” Grantaire frowns as Enjolras slowly takes sips of the hot tea mixed with lemon and honey. He lets out a small sigh of relief as the warm liquid soothes his throat a little.

“No I’m not,” Enjolras insists, although he’s not really sure if he’s trying to convince Grantaire or himself. He knows deep down it’s for himself, but Enjolras can’t let this bring him down, and all his friends.

The Les Amis have worked to the bone for this little off-broadway show. This show that spoke so beautifully about mental illnesses, and Enjolras was honoured with the opportunity to portray a personification of mental illness and perform to the best of his ability, and beyond that. He needed to be able to convey how it was like, to connect to other people through his performance so that they can begin to understand those with mental illnesses. Then he will be closer to helping create a kinder world.

Every show counted.

Each person in that crowd meant something, and if someone was out there and was touched by it, and felt a little less alone, or came out of it a kinder person, any sickness was worth pushing through. This was much bigger than him.

“Hm,” Grantaire huffs, clearly not believing a word he was saying.

“Don’t worry–"His words come out in a strangled noise that strains and pulls at the muscles in his throat. Enjolras turns away from his boyfriend and raises his elbow up to his face where he coughs harshly, the sounds resonating from his chest.

Grantaire frowns and leans in to rub his back and coax the coughs out of him, and when Enjolras finishes he’s exhausted. He leans back against his chair and wipes away at tears, chest heaving as he tries to catch his breath.

"That doesn’t sound too good,” Grantaire points out worriedly.

Enjolras opens his mouth to speak, but no sound comes out of his throat. There is only a light, raspy wheeze that escapes his mouth. His eyes widen, his blood running cold as he freezes in panic. He shakes slightly, his breathing picking up ever so slightly. He clears his throat aggressively.

Grantaire notices this, and he is just as alarmed and fearful as Enjolras but somehow he manages to keep a level head. He wraps his hands around Enjolras’s and intertwines his fingers with his, to keep Enjolras here with him and grounded. So he doesn’t float away.

“Enj, don’t panic. Have some more sips of this tea,”

Enjolras nods frantically and begins to drink more of the hot tea, and when he’s done he puts down the mug on his dresser. He clears his throat.

“Hi, is my voice back,” Enjolras croaks out, his voice is rough and husky but its there.

He clears his throat again, popping a strepsil into his mouth and lets out a shaky sigh, “That’s better, I guess.”

Grantaire looks a little more at ease at that, Enjolras’s voice is better then, with a rough edge to it.

There is a small silence that begins afterwards. It is calm, but suddenly Enjolras says quietly, sounding so small and afraid.

“I don’t want to mess this up.”

Grantaire softens, cupping Enjolras’s face and then presses a loving kiss against his cheek, “You won’t, baby. You never do.”

Enjolras manages a weak smile at him, “I love you.”

A blush dusts Grantaire’s face and a smitten smile spreads across it. They use the word sparingly, not rarely, but not excessively. It’s more special this way.

“I love you too,” Grantaire says softly, and then his radio is crackling to life, Bahorel’s voice calling Grantaire over.

Grantaire chuckles and confirms that he is coming, and looks back at Enjolras, “Bossuet probably fucked something up again. I’ve gotta go save their asses now–but good luck baby, drink up. You’re going to be okay.”

With that, Grantaire leaves the door and Enjolras is left staring at the door, unable to wipe the smile off his face.

“All cast members please report to Val Jean’s dressing room for a warm up in 10 minutes, you have 10 minutes,” He hears Feuilly say over the intercom.

Enjolras nods, letting out a small sigh before he finishes up his makeup and hair.

When Enjolras walks into Val Jean’s dressing room, everyone’s eyes widen and jaws drop like they’ve seen a ghost.

He smirks, and sings softly, “I’m alive I’m alive I am so alive~”

He clears his throat and smiles at them reassuringly, “’Im fine. My point is I’m not dead, because you’re all staring at me like I am.”

Marius shakes his head, “Your voice is as angelic as ever, it’s just..”

Eponine clears her throat, “You look like shit, E.”

Enjolras rolls his eyes and laughs, “Oh well, the show must go on, as they say.”

Fantine frowns and walks up to him, and before Enjolras can even decipher what she’s doing her hand is placed gently on his forehead. He tries to squirm away, but she’s strong.

“You’ve got quite a fever, sweetheart,” She says gently. She is just as motherly to him on stage as she is off stage. Hopefully, off stage he’s a slightly better person than Gabe.

“It’ll be fine,” Enjolras says coolly, but Marius is trying to secretly text someone. He raises an eyebrow at the younger boy, slightly amused as Marius seems so sure no one is noticing him.

“Pontmercy, what are you doing?” Enjolras sighs.

“..Uh…” He says awkwardly.

Combeferre bursts through the door shortly after, and crosses his arms, clearly not very happy.

Enjolras turns white, “..uh..”

Combeferre basically slaps his hand onto Enjolras’ forehead and his frown is further deepened, and a few various pills are being shoved into his palm, as well as some more tea.

Enjolras groans, “I am drowning in tea, Ferre, I–”

The way Combeferre is glaring at him shuts him up and he’s popping the pills into his mouth and downing them with the tea.

Enjolras coughs, and he thinks it’s just a single, one off thing but the next comes spilling out of him, and the next, and the next. He’s coughing and he can’t stop, and it stabs at his chest and at his lungs. He’s expelling so much he’s not taking anything in, he can’t breathe and his body needs to. He feels faint, his vision darkening as the coughs force their way out of his chest.

He feels weak and faint, trying to reach for a wall or anything so his body doesn’t collapse in on itself, but he one powerful cough sends him toppling over, his body light as it free falls.

But thankfully Valjean is quick and there’s a strong arm around his waist, supporting him, and lifting him back to ground. When Enjolras looks up from his feverish, blearily haze there is a soft, concerned gaze looking down on him.

“Are you sure you’re up to this, kiddo? You don’t have to if you’re not feeling well,” Jean says worriedly, as he balances Enjolras back on his feet.

Enjolras rubs at his nose, stifling two sneezes before he responds, “I’m fine. Tonight is important. I can’t miss it.”

Everyone in the room looks extremely concerned, but when Combeferre sighs, not pleased but approving, they all straighten up to start working on warmups. As he turns around to leave, he suddenly leans forward and gives Enjolras a hug, rubbing his back lovingly and ruffling his golden hair.

When Combeferre pulls away his gaze is kind and caring, “You’re going to be amazing, E. You always are, please take care of yourself out there. Gabe is cool, but so are you, okay? I feel like you forget that sometimes.”

Enjolras’s eyes prick with touched tears, and he bites his lip to stop himself from crying any more. He smiles weakly at him, letting out a shaky exhale, “Fuck off, Ferre, you’re ruining my makeup.”

Combeferre can only laugh at that and ruffle his hair, before turning to leave through the door. He can’t help but spare a glance at Enjolras worriedly, wishing and praying that he would be okay, and he leaves through the door.

“Are we all ready?” Javert asks.

Everyone nods in agreement, and Marius starts to play the piano as they all harmonise and warm up their voices.

Grantaire finishes his double checks on all of the sound tech, and he sighs in relief. He’s done all he could possibly do. All he can do now, is relax and hope to whatever higher being out there that everything goes well.

He keeps his headphones in his ears and picks up a small cup of tea and makes his way to the left wing, where Enjolras is waiting at his five minute call to start the show. Fantine is already on stage in the dark, curtains still close. Grantaire is not an actor, but he is still always so fascinated with how when an actor steps onto stage, they are immediately a different person.

Grantaire carefully makes his way past and finds himself in the wings, and he finds Enjolras standing in the wings. He looks tired, sick, worried.

He approaches him slowly, gently tapping him on the shoulder, “Hey baby.”

Enjolras whips around and smiled at him, but a chesty little cough escapes him. He clears his throat, and he’s shaking ever so slightly and Grantaire doesn’t know if he’s nervous or just feverish.

“Hi,” Enjolras croaks out quietly, he looks down at Grantaire’s hands and takes the small cup of tea from Grantaire and sips at it slowly. He looks a little more relieved.

“Better?” Grantaire says softly.

Enjolras nods lightly, and tiptoes to kiss Grantaire’s cheek. Grantaire thinks this is the cutest thing.

“I’m scared,” Enjolras admits, his voice low and shaky. He’s trembling slightly, his voice cracking with vulnerability. He looks a lot younger like this. It breaks Grantaire’s heart. Enjolras is rarely ever this vulnerable.

“I can’t mess this up, you know that there are–”

“Yeah, there are important people here tonight but you are going to kill it. I know you will, baby.”

Enjolras can only manage a weak smile.

“Mics are turning on,” He hears Bossuet through his headphones.

Grantaire nods, and whispers softly, “Mic is on, E.”

Silence.

“Curtains are opening. You are going to be amazing, E. Remember that. Good luck, baby. And you are on stage in 1..2..”

Enjolras closes his eyes, taking a deep breath. When he opens his eyes the light in them is different, shifting. He steps onto stage and when the light hits his face he’s a new person.

Any trace of Enjolras is gone, he has somebody else’s skin on and everything is fine.

Grantaire never doubted that for one second.

Every hair on Grantaire’s body stands with excitement and adrenaline, a exhilarating buzz boiling in his blood as Enjolras’s powerful voice booms across the theatre. His belt is as strong as ever, his voice so wonderful and satisfying, like the cold side of your pillow that feels amazing in the dead of night.

Enjolras is Gabe. He is perfectly portraying this complex character, the perfect embodiment. He has become this character, the way he looks at things is completely different. There is so much detail and depth behind every step he takes. He plays this character with this fresh nuance, played so lovingly and obviously painstakingly crafted. There is so much depth he embodies, a chilling performance that leaves Grantaire moved. Grantaire is unbelievably proud, it swells in his heart.

The act is coming to a close, and Enjolras sings. He’s so angelic and lovely, the light shining and framing him perfectly. But it is so chilling and eerie, his gaze is intense and bone chilling. His voice is this beautiful lyrical tenor and his vibrato is clear and satisfying, his voice steady and melodic in this incredibly angelic way.

Then the act closes, the curtains falling and the audience roars with claps and screams, whistling. Grantaire can’t help but try and peek through to see, and he can see people standing up as they cheer.

Grantaire awaits his star by the wings, and the moment the curtain falls he’s transported back into this world. He’s Enjolras, and he’s so weak. So sick.

He staggers weakly offstage, looking so weary and unwell that the moment Grantaire is in reach he collapses into his arms with exhaustion.

“Enjolras!” He exclaims as his boyfriend falls into his arms. Grantaire steadies him with some strength and pulls him into his arms. The younger boy weakly buries his face into Grantaire’s chest. He coughs harshly and sharply, his face scrunched in pain as he coughs.

Frantically, he feels his forehead and gasps at the intense heat radiating off of it.

“Fuck, E!” Grantaire hisses worriedly.

“Courf! Over here!” Grantaire calls over, and once Courfeyrac can see them his eyes widen and he’s running towards them. With his help, they manage to get Enjolras back to his dressing room.

“I’m so stupid, I’m so stupid,” Enjolras hisses to himself in self loathing, tears pricking at his eyes.

“No you’re not, E,” Courfeyrac reassures softly, trying to mask the worry in his voice.

Combeferre arrived shortly after with a damp towel and drapes it over his forehead. He is clearly shaken, very nervous and frantic.

“I failed you all,” Enjolras whimpers.

“What?! No you didn’t!” Courfeyrac insists.

“I can still perform, I promise. Just one more hour. I can do this. I promise, please,” Enjolras begs tearfully, stopping as Grantaire helps him drink more tea. He pushes Grantaire away shortly, to hack and cough powerfully, tearing up. He clearly looks like he is in a lot pain, and the sound of his coughing is awfully chesty and congested. It sounds horrible.

No one wants Enjolras to do this, but they all know Enjolras would never forgive himself if he couldn’t. They don’t want to see him in such a state. Courfeyrac and Grantaire look over at Combeferre for answers.

Combeferre looks conflicted, staring at Enjolras for a long time and sighs exhaustedly, “He can do it. But Grantaire, once you two get home you have to extensively take care of him.”

Grantaire nods determinedly, “Of course.”

The bright smile Enjolras gives them is undeniably precious.

Combeferre and Courfeyrac leave them alone, to which Grantaire sighs fondly and helps Enjolras drink more tea.

“You are a mess.”

Enjolras grins feverishly, “Your mess, though.”

Grantaire chuckles, and kisses his forehead, “Unfortunately. You are going to give me an ulcer, one day, you know?”

Grantaire doesn’t understand it–he believes it’s some type of magic or sorcery or witchcraft, the like–but when Enjolras is back on stage his symptoms disappear completely. He is energised and alive again.

Enjolras is so good that Grantaire forgets that just a short while ago Enjolras was breaking down backstage, sick as a dog. On stage Enjolras is at the best state he’s ever been. The audience could never have guessed he was running a borderline dangerous fever and what surely could become a chest infection.

The show comes to a close, and one of the last songs is this extremely powerful and moving exchange between Val Jean and Enjolras. They are both talents, revelations, incredibly passionate. They are delivering a performance of a lifetime, pouring their hearts out to many. Grantaire can faintly hear soft sobbing from the audience. When they finish, the audience explodes into a series of claps, so touched and moved.

When the show closes, the entire theatre stands up and claps loudly. The theatre is exploding with cheering and whistling and clapping. Grantaire can’t hear anything but cheers. They can’t even start bowing because the cheering is lasting so long.

The small cast begins to bow, and Grantaire can’t help but start cheering too when Enjolras steps to the centre for his bows. He starts to tear up as the crowd goes wild for him.

When the curtains fall and the cast come out, they are bombarded by hugs by everyone backstage.

“You were amazing, 'Jolras! You’ve brought our show to life,” Courfeyrac cries, tears steaming down his face as he hugs Enjolras.

“You killed it!” Combeferre says proudly as he joins in the hugs.

But when Enjolras starts coughing again, bent over by the waist. His powerful coughs take what is left of his energy and he starts to tip slightly, and he’s leaning forwards too much and Courfeyrac is swooping in to catch him. That is when when everyone remembers that Enjolras is sick and needs to go home.

“We should go home,” Grantaire steps in, approaching his boyfriend and taking him from Courfeyrac.

“You’re right. You’ll inform us on how he’s doing, right?” Combeferre asks anxiously.

“Of course.”

“But Stage Door,” Enjolras says weakly.

“Oh my god, Enjolras. You are not in the state, everyone will understand. You need to go home,” Grantaire insists.

Enjolras becomes quiet and looks so miserable. Grantaire sighs and feels a bit guilty, helping him back to the car.

Enjolras sleeps the whole way back to their apartment. Grantaire’s glad, because Enjolras needs to recharge. Once he parks, he picks Enjolras up and starts to carry him up to the elevator. He finally makes it to their apartment, and immediately puts Enjolras down on their bed.

He is about to leave to get some supplies when Enjolras stirs and grabs for Grantaire’s arm.

“Grantaire,” Enjolras whimpers, his voice teary and obviously upset.

“Hey, baby, what’s up?” Grantaire coos as he sits at the edge of the bed to speak to him.

“I failed everyone, I did so badly, we’re going to get bad reviews and close early,” Enjolras chokes, a few tears beginning to spill from his eyes.

“What?! No! You were absolutely brilliant, baby. People were crying. Did you not see the standing fucking ovation at the end of the show? Fuck, there was one during your act closer! People loved it, Enjolras. Our message is getting out there thanks to you. So don’t you dare fucking tell me that you failed us. You’ve made us.”

Enjolras sniffled, inhaling sharply to sneeze harshly, then rubbing at his eye weakly, "I don’t believe you.”

Grantaire opens his mouth to bless him and to reassure him but his phone is beeping. Then again. And his phone is going crazy.

He pulls his phone out and quickly scans through the gibberish that is Courfeyrac’s recent texts, and when he scrolls to the original text his heart drops. Then it swells.

“Enjolras, do you want proof that you did not disappoint tonight?”

Enjolras only huffs.

“Enj, we’re going on Broadway.”

Enjolras eyes widen, and he starts crying again. He’s crying even more–but this time he’s happy. Enjolras forces himself up and throws himself over Grantaire and holds him close, hugging him tightly and continuing to cry. Grantaire presses a kiss onto the top of his head.

“We’re going on Broadway thanks to you, Enjolras. And I mean you. Not just the character you play. You. You made this all happen, and I know you aren’t always very happy with yourself and I hope this can help you start to see what I see in. I am so proud of you, and I love you so much.”

“It takes two, I thought one was enough, It’s not true, It takes two of us, You came through, when the journey was rough it took you..” Enjolras sings softly.

“It took two of us. It takes care. It takes patience and fear and despair. To change.” Grantaire sings back. He’s a bit awkward, a little offkey, but to Enjolras it couldn’t have been more perfect.

#enjolras #grantaire #les mis #enjoltaire #exr #les miserables #theater au #Combeferre #courfeyrac #marius pontmercy #eponine thernadier #jean val jean #fantine #sickfic #fever #prompts #y'all i loved this prompt so much the fuck

41 notes · View notes