#good to know shepard felt the same lmao

[shenkospectres]

Shepard checking out Kaidan's ass right after a speech about integrity and trust is a Top 5 moment in the entire Trilogy, don't @ me.

#kaidan looked so good in me3 i got distracted everytime i saw him ashsjsl #good to know shepard felt the same lmao #you guys had guns pointed at each other two seconds ago be serious for once in your life shepard #citadel dlc is also fucking hilarious he's cooking shepard you can cuddle later #yes we get it thats your boy #mshenko #otp: after all this time #commander shepard #kaidan alenko #male shepard #mass effect trilogy #me3

[genericpuff]

I'm not sure if you've answered this question before but what were some of the things that made you interested in Lore Olympus in the past and at what point did you lose interest?

I adored the art in the beginning, and just like, the really warm-feeling romance that just had me feeling so giddy reading it. There were some red flags in the beginning like the age gap, but I kinda fell for the same mindset of "well they're gods so what does it matter" (obviously I can't in good faith use that argument anymore because if the age gap didn't matter then it either wouldn't exist or wouldn't be brought up in the first place lmao but it took me a while to realize that).

Now, to be fair, LO was also one of my first introductions to webtoons as a format, prior to that I had read mostly manga and left-to-right indie webcomics (i.e. comics that were hosted on their own site) and I was still in the early years of my own development as a writer and artist (I still feel like I'm early in that development tbh) so of course there were undoubtedly a lot of obvious flaws that went over my head (and I was younger and inexperienced so I wasn't as critical of what media I was watching / reading as I am now) but that's been half the fun of catching them now - it's given me a lot more perspective and helped me hone my own skills in my writing by analyzing what's wrong with LO and brainstorming on how those problems can be avoided.

But then there was the Act of Wrath plotline and I was completely sold on it being gold. Anyone who's read my original work knows how much of a SUCKER I am for "dark alter ego" plotlines, I eat that shit up like junk food. But what I like about the dark alter ego tropes is when they're used to explore the subconscious, question one's morals and true identity, etc. That was what I was hoping for and expecting with the AoW plotline in LO - that her "dark self" was gonna be a reflection of how she felt "held back" by her circumstances in the Mortal Realm, and her wrath being something she could use for retribution (in a "do no harm but take no shit" kinda way). Especially with how naive and innocent she was in the beginning, I loved the idea of her slowly coming to terms with her "darker" side and learning not to suppress her emotions until they had nowhere else to go and exploded (which was how I interpreted the AoW).

So when it didn't do that, or even explore an ounce of nuance regarding her relationship with her wrath, I was very disappointed to say the least. When Eris was revealed to be the one who "blessed" her with wrath, that was when the rose colored glasses started to fall off and I realized "wait, does Rachel not have an actual plan for this whole Kore vs. Persephone thing???" And now her wrath is literally just there to... give her the power to bully people?? It just feels so disheartening to see such potential squandered.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not gonna chastise a story if it doesn't go exactly where I want it to go, there would be no fun in that anyways (and that's what fanfiction is for lmao). But when a story is leaving very interesting but connectable breadcrumbs that are VERY clearly leading you somewhere and then just... doesn't, that's when it's disappointing and unsatisfying. LO feels like a "creator vs. the reader" story in the worst way possible, where it's constantly leaving breadcrumbs, getting pissed when the audience "figures it out", so then it overcorrects and tries to "subvert" itself to keep the readers "on their toes"... but the problem is that all it really does is punish the readers for paying attention and investing themselves in the story by giving them a worse story. It's like Rachel's getting mad at people for figuring out a story that she's writing and hinting towards.

And this has been going on for YEARS now, it's like a Shepard tone where it sounds like it keeps getting higher and higher in pitch but then doesn't actually resolve so your brain is just scrambling trying to figure out what in the world it could be "building up to".

There's nothing. It's not building up to anything. It's just constantly putting down new plot threads that are slightly altered versions of previous plot threads and expecting you to keep following along while it makes a mess of itself. It feels like you're going somewhere but you're actually still just running in place. It's just Rachel never learning how to progress past the middle school writing level of "and then this happened and then this happened and then this happened". Not only is it disorganized writing, but it's just... it's so boring. Nothing's exciting or interesting anymore when it keeps distracting itself with shiny new plotlines and characters that never get resolved.

It's like when you were a kid and thought "man , when I grow up, I'm gonna eat nothing but chocolate cake and ice cream every day forever!" and then you get older and you realize you were being silly because eating nothing but chocolate cake and ice cream every day 1.) isn't good for you and doesn't feel good, and 2.) the appeal and novelty of it wears off if you can have it any time you want, it doesn't feel as special anymore as it did when you were a kid and having those things was a treat.

To compare this back to LO, none of its "reveals" feel like treats anymore, they feel like just another half-assed attempt to keep people interested. It's clickbait.

And don't get me wrong, you CAN totally subvert the breadcrumbs you put down for your audience and go in a completely different direction than where the audience was expecting, but it takes a shitload of skill and thought to do it well. Attack on Titan is one of the best recent examples of a story appearing to completely throw out its original script halfway through, only for that script to actually still be relevant in a very complex and thought out way. Especially when there ARE hints towards the big "twist" that make you go back and rewatch it and realize "WAIT, THEY'VE BEEN GIVING US THE ANSWERS ALL THIS TIME?!?!"

(it would be TWO MORE FUCKING SEASONS before this ending would make sense, that's fucking GENIUS foreshadowing and in the CREDITS SEQUENCE LIKE ?? IT'S SO BLINK AND YOU'LL MISS IT HOLY SHIT-)

Evidently Rachel does not have that skill and is not willing to put in that thought; maybe she could some day, but I don't think she's learning it on the job as well as she thinks she is.

And it's disappointing as fuck because it could have been so much better than this. Rachel is literally the only one getting in her own way of LO being something truly great.

#lore olympus critical #anti lore olympus #lo critical #ama #ask me anything #anon ask me anything #anon ama

[bluem00n007]

Hello!! First off, I'm really sorry for not responding back to you earlier from my last ask. I got really busy with irl stuff that I didn't get the time to reply. But if I can still send in my answer, you don't need to apologize about the leash thing with sirius!! I should have realized that sooner lmao, but thanks for clarifying. Also, you definitely have a point that arcturus has so much potential to be a good, bad, or grey character. Besides his constellation, there's also his special magic, how he takes such a long time to get back to mc when he excuses himself from them, and the Shepard thing. These could be building up to something big later on in the story, and I'm equally terrified and excited. Side note though, I saw your comic about vega and vanessa and it was so good!! The layout felt so clean, not to mention the way you drew out their emotions was a critical hit to my heart!!

Also also, if you don't mind me asking on your opinion on this, what do you think are the effects of mc being imprinted with the sorcerers? Besides the boost in power ofc.

Apologies for the long text, hopefully I didn't bother you with this. Take care!!

OMG HEY ANNON!!! It's so good to see you again!!! ^w^)/ And please, don't apologise for not replying before, real life takes priority and I hope you are doing well

The Sirius thing was such an innocent mistake and well, it is a saying that not a lot of people are familiar with and use, so I really get what caused the confusion, Arcky, I think if he does indeed turn out to be a villain, would he be with the void on purpose or was manipulated, hm another Tumblr user, who's user I am forgetting at the moment, but all credits to them for this pointer, basically what they said was Arcturus is the protector of the bear, Summoner is represented with the bear constellation, so I think the void did wipe his memories and are now using him as a way to get closer to summoner, I mean so far everyone lives the way their constellations do

Also thank you so much!!!! I was really hoping you would see that comic TvT and I feel really happy that it was impactful, I don't know how to actually put this in words, sorry of if I can't say it properly, but yeah, I am really happy!

Now I think the best way to explain an imprint is that it's a very magical form of "red strings of fate", more so a promise to protect the parties imprinting and a way to ensure it than anything else, like the pact in obey me, it's a power scaler(?) Like you make pacts and if you learn how to use them, you can draw power from demons and make them do what you command, that's not what I think an imprint is, like Spica said, it's an oath to protect

For the imprints, so far we know bits and pieces for what makes them special, firstly they allow partners to feel each other's feelings, you have any idea how hard it would be to hide crushes? Jokes aside that means that there must be a while lot of trust between people before they imprint, Spica did a gigachad move, respect, because he just let us imprint with him without knowing us much

If we take Alpheratz's words at face value, multiple imprints are not possible, or at the very least not common, he looks so surprised that our heart was entwined with others, that or he was just surprised at how many imprints we had even before a week at Contell, this could be explained by the time loop theory, which if you didn't know about, is that Sirius is a time loop character, goes back in time, which creates a different timeline, the good stuff, that explains why summoner has so many pacts already, if the bonds carried over everytime, but honestly speaking, that actualy leaves more unanswered questions, why was Sirius surprised he got summoned? Why did us coming to Bound arlyn ruin his plans? So I am a little skeptical of this theory

I think that is what makes summoner a summoner, plus the entire potential of being able to summon stuff that are not under the same relam as constellations, hence so special, but then why these 6 specific guys? Which is why it's not a 100% disagree on taht, just skeptical

Third and personally my favourite, angst warning and it is a little morbid, so don't read this if you are uncomfortable:

3

2

1

you can't harm an imprinted partner or you get harmed yourself, it has so much angst potential (I love angst actualy) out of everyone, Sirius has the heighest potential, imo, to use this if he ever finds himself in a clutch, not because it's an easy way out for him, mind you, but most likely because it's the best way out for summoner in case the void catches them in a clutch (yes I do live for angst) plus if the time loop theory is correct it's not much of a risk either, plus storytaco has a reputation of having a high chance to kill any character, even MC has no plot armour

Sorry for the long reply, I kinda get in the whole flow TvT

#arcana twilight #arcana twilight arcturus #arcana twilight alpheratz #arcana twilight sirius #arcana twilight headcanons

[thetrashbagswasteland]

NG+ for uhhhh let's do 58, 66, and 74 :3c

One again this shit LONG it's going under a cut so it doesn't fuck with peoples dashes!

58 - I Love You (Acoustic) - Woodkid

I KNOW I've already given this one over to a bad timeline Kryterius and now ye shall suffer the consequences. Good luck, enjoy the stabbing.

Eight years. Eight long years. They’d felt like a lifetime, or maybe barely a day. There were times when Nihlus felt like he barely knew him at all and others when he thought he knew every inch of Saren inside and out, that there was nothing left to lay bare and for them to worry would turn the other away. Saren had met him when he’d been at his worst and conversely he’d seen him at his only much later, once they were for lack of a better word, lovers. And, well, there was a word that didn’t even come close to summing it up. He’d die for him in a heartbeat, live for him in the next one, then curse his existence in the one after that. It was reciprocated; Nihlus knew it was in the quiet way Saren gravitated to his side in a room full of people, in the soft words he’d allow himself to say when it was only the two of them and in every single way he had claimed him as his from the day they’d finally admitted their feelings for one another. They rarely got to enjoy quiet mornings together, or even often late nights falling into one another’s arms. There would be time enough for that, one day, he’d decided. When Saren finally burned through the last of his rage and when he’d proven once and for all that he had every right to stand proud in a room full of primarchs regardless. That day would come and then they would be content. Or at least, he’d assumed it would. Nihlus checked his correspondence for what felt like the hundredth time in as many minutes. No unread messages. There should be one. At the very least one. That was the one commitment they made to one another now - to talk, even if they could do nothing more than that. Had he done something wrong? Or… was it something beyond his control? He’d been distant for a while now, subvocals muted and eyes glazed over. Nihlus had attributed it to being the time of year; Saren always struggled worst with his own thoughts around the anniversary of The Incident. The Incident, because it had no name in their lives and never would be able to be comprehensively summed up. But, a new nagging fear, what if it wasn’t merely the date which had his love so detached from life? Was it Nihlus’ choice to take the project? He’d always known it’d piss him off but to this extent? Or was he pulling away as a defence mechanism to hide how he was failing? Spirits only knew, he seemed to be putting himself through more augs every time they saw one another as a way to combat pushing his body past its limits… But he should trust him with this. Should know, after all this time, that he could trust him and that he owed him the truth on that matter. A ping. His heart jumped momentarily in his throat and then - “Briefing in ten minutes. Do you wish to review the files before we bring Shepard in? - A.” Ah. Of course. Ah well, it’d been too much to hope… He’d send him another message, after this, pin him down to a meeting and then maybe pin him to the bed as payback for so long left in silence. Mm. A nice thought that was… One he’d file and plan out further. A recompense for himself for putting up with all of this. He’d come back to the logistics. After the evaluation. 

66 - Will I Find My Home In You (Accoustic) - Juniper Vale

Legally assigned Barrix so here's a chaser from Wipe My Hands Clean bc I need to rewrite that fuckin prompt I did ages back with this song anyways lmao

“I’m resigning.” Avitus blinked. “I mean… I’m retiring.” Macen, always so implacably confident actually sounded nervous. “You’re quitting?” He asked, trying to make sense of it as he stared across at him. “These are all synonyms for the same thing, Avi, yes.” His lover’s attempt at humour fell unfortunately flat and, seeming to realise it, Macen sighed heavily. “Listen, it’s time. I’m done. I’ve had enough of all of this.” Shit… He should have expected this, shouldn’t he? “All of this?” Avitus croaked, trying not to let panic grip him by the throat. “I’m tired, Avi.” Seemingly unaware of his inner turmoil. Macen slumped back further in his chair, bad leg propped on a stool. “I’ve been through enough firefights for one lifetime. I’m sick of being scared that I won’t make it home to you. If there’s one thing I’ve realised, it’s that I can’t live like this.” Home… to him? But he couldn’t stand the life they led? How else was he to take that? Avitus swallowed his pride, pushed down the desperate desire to rage and cling to him. Mace deserved better than that. Better than him spoiling this. “I understand.” He let his eyes slip closed, chin coming to rest in his cowl. “You need a fresh start. I- I’m not going to stop you.” “There’s this offer, it’s- wait, what?” Macen genuinely sounded confused. “What do you mean you won’t stop me?” He opened his eyes. “This is the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ speech, isn’t it?” He asked cautiously. “You’re telling me you want a peaceful life and there’s only one way to make that happen, isn’t there?” For a moment, he simply stared at him. Then, the other turian was on his feet, limping the few steps it took him to approach before taking his head between his hands and forcing it up so he was forced to make eye contact with him. Usually, it was easy to forget that Mace was, actually, taller than him. He’d such a welcoming, sweet disposition that he was always damned approachable. “Avitus Rix.” He murmured softly, far too gently. “You are the most paranoid, pessimistic old fool I’ve ever met. Only you could take me asking you to settle down with me as a breakup conversation.” Settle down? Them? “You… want me to retire?” He asked cagily. “With you?” “Yes, you idiot.” Macen dipped his head, pressing their foreheads together with as much exasperation as tenderness.

74 - Younger - Imagine Dragons

Look, we're just going into the Beyond Familiar Stars grab-bag for this one bc I'm like 90% sure that's when this one got streamed enough to get on this list lmao.

“Saren got tired of them eventually.” He didn’t know why but… sharing it was cathartic. Someone else should remember them as he did. “There was some serious pressure being put on him to just pick someone, eventually, and he just… upped and disappeared. Came back three months later dragging this massive bastard behind him. Terminus trash, both parents were mercs, everyone knew it. Spooked the whole damned hierarchy because apparently Kryik had been thrown in a dead-end platoon on Taetrus to die and… everyone had assumed he had died until he got dragged in to meet the council with two month’s training already in hand. Nihlus was twenty two, with a smart mouth and a very punchable face. And he was everyone’s best friend in a day.” He’d been almost as horrified as everyone else at first. But then he’d understood once he’d actually seen him fight and even worse, had liked him from when they’d first spoken properly. It had been a threat to the council, plain and simple. No pushing him, else he’d turn around and find the worst possible candidate. Then he’d make the best damned spectre out of them, just to piss everyone off.

They’d had ten years. Eight years in love - long enough that they’d been talking about making things permanent openly, instead of just in hushed whispers. Was it any wonder Saren had lost it when he’d been blamed for the death of the only person he’d let know him that well? One of his greatest regrets, for a long time, had been that Macen had never gotten to meet them. Now… now that sat side by side with the disappointment they’d never lived to see him take on a student of his own. But his greatest still was that they’d soon have been dead for as long as he’d had them. And that he’d been without Macen for twice as long as he’d had him. It struck him, not for the first time, that he’d have rather not be in this position. Die young and leave a pretty corpse, that’d been his intention. Not outlive a single person who’d given a damn about him. And… He’d failed that one, hadn’t he? “Avitus?” He hated the concern. Hated that it was all anyone had to give him these days. Shit, he didn’t deserve it. “I’m just- Coming to some hard realisations.” He muttered before he could stop himself. “About the way my life’s turned out. Wasn’t my goal to do this, you know?” “I don’t think anyone’s goal was to come to Andromeda all along, was it?” He’d have had a shot at still claiming to have died young without it, that was for sure. “More that…” Avitus gritted his teeth, unsure how she’d take him admitting he’d never meant to live this long. “I’m sixty two. More than three times the age my dad made. Twice what Nihlus got. Nearly as old as Nearcus was when I killed him.” “People who all died before their time.” There was a deliberate attempt to sound like she’d a clue what any of that meant there. “C’mon, Avitus, you’re not even middle-aged, are you? Turians live to be like a hundred and fifty, don’t you?” He… couldn’t say it. Not without pity ensuing. There was no easy way to admit that he’d not thought he’d live to see fifteen. Then twenty. Then thirty. Then he’d counted his life expectancy in days, not years, for a while when he’d been thirty eight. And finally, he’d contemplated that he might live long enough to start to feel like an adult, but he’d only ever allowed himself to picture getting old when Macen had talked about it. He’d always treated it like a certainty, hadn’t he? That they’d come out here and find themselves a place to settle into, where they could be themselves in peace. With Macen gone, Avitus was no longer sure just who he was, either. “Macen got a third of his possible lifespan. My dad got eighteen years. Why do I get more than that?” He hadn’t meant to direct the question at her - did he expect her to have an answer for him that wasn’t what he already knew; that the universe had a sick sense of humour? “Why do I survive everything that better people don’t?”

#spotify wrapped new game+ #hey have some pain it's payback for all the pining you've fed us

[irikahkrios]

a while ago i saw this post dismissing jack's growth in me3 as "bioware forcing her to play mommy to a bunch of kids" and it's been probably two or three weeks now since i saw it but thinking about it again i'm still steamed at how badly that person seems to have misunderstood her arc. like yes, obviously there are valid criticisms to be made re: how character arcs for women so often involve them becoming more protective or "maternal" as an apparent sign of growth and maturity, even when it doesn't make any sense for the character. but i personally don't think jack's arc is really an example of this problem, i think her becoming a teacher and caring about her students makes a lot of sense in the context of her character development and it's probably one of my favorite pieces of writing in the entire series?

because like. meeting her in me2 and seeing this angry, traumatized person whose experiences have forced her to solve problems with violence and trust no one, and always kill the other person before they can get the chance to kill her? who feels that she's alone in the galaxy and can only rely on herself, because pretty much no one has ever cared for her or tried to help her without ulterior motives (and the one important time where someone did, which she tells you about in her romance, ended in his death and reinforced her feelings that letting people get close was a mistake)? jack in me2 starts out so emotionally isolated and constantly on guard, having learned from past experiences that this is the only way to protect herself. and over the course of the game, as she learns that shepard is someone she can trust (and also probably bonds with some of the other squadmates but that's more of a headcanon because bioware didn't let any of the me2 squadmates fucking talk to each other lmao), she starts to realize that maybe there are people in the galaxy worth trusting, and maybe keeping everyone at a distance to avoid being hurt just results in a different kind of hurt, and letting people in and letting herself care and be cared about in return might be worth the risk.

and then seeing her in me3 and finding that she's become a teacher to a bunch of biotic teenagers? it might seem weird or ooc at first glance, but considering how jack spent most of her life fending for herself, thinking that she couldn't rely on or get close to anyone, is it so much of a stretch that she could see these kids, full of biotic power that they don't know how to control, and want to help them? she knows from personal experience that the galaxy can be a horrible fucking place, and it makes sense that after learning to let people in, the next step for her character arc would be to see these young people potentially in danger of being exploited for their abilities like she was, and make sure no one had the opportunity to hurt them like people hurt her. it's about her, after learning in me2 that there are good people out there who are willing to protect others, also realizing that she herself has the potential to be that person for those who need it. her horrible experiences and the things she's done because of them don't change the fact that she's capable of doing good and caring so, so much when she allows herself to, and she can teach this group of snarky teenagers and give them guidance and support.

and like, she's still the same character! she's the same jack we knew from me2; she still swears like a sailor, makes lewd jokes, throws some barbs at shepard and quite a few at her students too. she's the same character, she's just healthier now, she's found constructive ways to begin to heal from her experiences instead of just throwing enemies around like ragdolls with her biotics. but like, she still does that too!! and the rapport she has with her students is fun to watch, she ribs them and gives them grief and they throw it right back at her, and through all these playful insults it's so clear that she just really wants them to succeed and be safe. she cares about them a lot, but the way she shows it is still very her. jack growing to care for her students wasn't bioware turning her into a different character or, as that person put it, "forcing her to play mommy." she's still a foul-mouthed badass who loves to fight, she's just in a better place emotionally and has found people she's willing to fight to protect.

i've made a few posts before about how there's this constant theme in mass effect about making things better for the people who come next, about taking what's happened to you and letting it give you the strength and conviction to protect other people from going through the things you did, and god i really do think jack's arc is one of the best examples of this in the entire series. and not to get too personal but speaking as someone with a lot of trauma who has also felt isolated for most of my life, it makes me happy to see a character whose process of healing so heavily involves surrounding herself with people she cares about, because that's something that's been so important to my own healing process so far.

anyway i love jack masseffect and her arc is well-written and important and i don't know what that person was on about

#here it is. i couldn't fucking stop writing

[omegastation]

It's not that we don't know what the remake/remaster difference is, it's that the content was already there and more or less good to go with some minor changes (as seen in romance mods). I have to believe that the work they put into the Mako would have been far more difficult than this. & Also I feel like people would have less to say about it if we hadn't been getting more recent commentary like the article about Jack (1/? sorry I have no idea how long this will be aha)

(2/?) The article about Jack where her writer (iirc) went on about how she was conceptualized as wlw and that it's something he wanted to see for her (once again iirc, I don't have it in front of me but I believe that's what the gist of it was). Or in Tali's case, where they had her completed voicelines for the entire trilogy. They can't say that they didn't use this existing content because Fox News was breathing down their necks for this release, nor do I really think (con'd)

nor do I think that budget makes sense either, given that, yknow, it's already there. I also find it hard to believe that at least one or two people on the dev team don't know how their fanbase feels about this, particularly because of what happened with Jaal & his M!Ryder content. I'm happy we're getting ME content period and I don't want people to assume otherwise, like I genuinely adore this game! And it's also been implied that they're willing to (3/? sorry for rambling ffdgfhfhg)

willing to work with modders as far as what it means for existing mods goes, so I can only hope that modding MELE isn't going to be the same nightmare process that trying to mod the OT was. But I'm just really struggling to understand and wrap my head around why they wouldn't restore content that they know we know exists in a 90% completed state & they also know we would like to see in game without having to mod it. To me, I don't think (4/? :') sorry again)

I don't think that's asking them to necessarily add anything, especially when you consider the fact that the core story of the game isn't all that affected by Shepard's relationship to the point you can experience Mass Effect with zero romance whatsoever. & It is kind of upsetting for people to see that complaint & become condescending about it & assume I don't know what remaster means. Bioware acknowledging the existing-yet-unseen (5/?)

existing-yet-unseen "canonically" queer content feels like they're looking for some sort of praise without doing anything to actually deserve it. & you can't even say that the modding community fixes everything, because it leaves console players with whatever they're given from Bioware in the 'final' version and nothing else, and I don't really think that's fair. Personally, I think I'll probably still end up purchasing it at some point (I've lost count of my asks i am SO sorry)

at some point, though it's not high on my list of priority games at the moment (for a variety of reasons, not just this). It just kind of leaves me feeling sort of dejected because I felt like prior to this, Bioware was implying that they would seriously consider adding this back in, and there's also a significant portion of the online community that thinks we're just complaining for the sake of complaining & want to ruin the mood for everyone else, which is definitely not the case at all.

I am SO sorry for so many messages in your inbox btw fdgfhgj I'm long-winded by nature & trying my best. I just wish I could jump on the hype train like everyone else & not have it ruined because of my own disappointment with this, you know? & The irony is, my 'canon' is F!Shrios--my main Shepard wouldn't even be affected lmao, it just makes me sad & I wish more people could see where we're coming from.

You really don't have to apologize at all, your messages are nice and comprehensive! I also think you did your best to explain exactly where you're coming from.

Accusing others of ruining the mood is just a way for them to say they can't handle other people disagreeing with them or feeling differently. Truthfully, it's not that hard to understand, empathize and/or ignore if it's too much. And two things can coexist at the same time. Nuances > Extremes.

#critical #bioware critical #thoughts #long post #long post warning #Anonymous

[jacensolodjo]

I... honestly don’t know if I got into Shane’s mindset properly here but whatever. And I never feel like I fully grasp Jack but. Look. I wrote a Thing with them ok?? I tried lmao *Tony Stark I think I did okay.gif*

------------------------------------------

Jack had said she wanted at least 10 minutes of solo fight time. So Shane had no choice but to wait on the hill in prone, sniper rifle at the ready. She doubted she would actually fire a shot before Charging down the hill towards Jack. Patience was not at all Shepard’s strong suit and everyone knew it. Especially Jack. Shane was starting to wonder if Jack was teasing her, testing her. 

And showing off. She was showing off. They both did, they both cajoled each other into higher and higher kill counts. If they were going to kill something, let it be Cerberus fuckheads, had been the logic from the get go.

Shane watched, half-disbelieving, as Jack literally ripped the spine out of a Nemesis. As the other biotic was turning to look at the hill, Shane quickly pulled the trigger. Jack flinched, just a little, as the bolt slammed through a heavily armored Centurion that had been barely a foot away, right at the brain stem. Guess I gotta tell Anderson disconnecting the computer still works, Shane thought. 

“So your way was cleaner,” Jack shrugged as she spoke over the comms. 

“I’m hurt y’think that’s why I did it,” Shane remarked back, rolling her eyes even though there was no way Jack could see it. 

Shane really wasn’t the sniper of the crew. She could do it, but she hated it. And her original classification had always meant her CQC was top notch. And had only grown after Project Lazarus and finally getting the go-ahead to be called ‘Vanguard’ rather than ‘Adept’. 

“Yeah well, still got another minute solo,” Jack said dismissively before turning to walk back into the fray. She had lured a good number of them out of the building but Shane was sure there were quite a few waiting for them inside still. 

Shane tapped the side of her helmet, swapping frequencies. On her last mission she had managed to snag the frequency codes that most of the lower-level Cerberus troops used. It was far easier to eavesdrop on them that way than trying to get EDI to hack into their system. And at the moment, she didn’t even have the Normandy nearby. The two biotics had taken a simple shuttle to this simple planet for a simple kill Cerberus mission. 

“We need backup! Repeat: backup! Subject Zero and Commander Shepard are here!” a frantic voice was screaming. A little late, Shane mused, but she didn’t much care if they got backup or not. It would just put her on more even footing with the scoring. 

“No backup, you are ordered to evacuate. If you stay there you will be signing your own death warrant. Do not engage Subject Zero or Commander Shepard,” a calmer, cooler voice replied. Shane wracked her brain. trying to pin down where or if she had heard the voice before. 

“But we need backup to cover the escape! We’ve lost a quarter of our defenses already! Our troops are saying they haven’t even seen Shepard enter the fray yet!”

“Then enjoy dying.”

“Banes, you can’t--”

Banes?!?! That was it.

“Armistan, I’m a little offended. Why shouldn’t I have some fun on y’company’s dime?” Shane broke in, unable to stop herself even knowing it meant they’d realize she had their frequency and everything else. 

“Commander Shepard, this is not the first time you’ve interrupted my work,” Banes said coolly. 

“An’ the first time I did wasn’t the first time y’Cerberus fucks sicced a Thresher Maw on me.”

“Ah, so you did learn about Akuze. A shame that memorial didn’t turn out like it should have...” 

“Fuck you!” Shane instantly felt her biotics activate around her. “I’m going t’ fucking rip your head off your fucking body y’piece of scheiße!”

“Now, now no need to get nasty,” Banes chided, still cool as a damn cucumber. Why the hell were Cerberus men always like this? Always knowing exactly how to just make her even more mad!?

“Once I’m done here, you’ll see how fuckin’ nasty I can really be,” Shane growled, standing up. She surveyed the area in front of her. Jack had gone inside. Damn. She had gotten distracted yelling at Banes. Holding back a sigh, Shane instead Charged down the hill and past the carnage Jack was responsible for.

“I look forward to it. Troopers, change to frequency gamma. This has been a wonderful chat, Commander Shepard, but I’m afraid it ends now.” 

“I’m not done with you!” she didn’t care if the frequencies had already changed. She’d get him eventually. He had to know that. 

“You are for now,” Banes said before a very soft click. Shane growled again but then turned the frequency back to the one she shared with Jack.

“Where the fuck are you?” Shane demanded, a lot harsher than she meant. She was still riled by her conversation with Banes. Dammit. She thought of apologizing but knew Jack would likely just wave it off. 

“I could say the same damn thing, bitch! What, were you daydreaming out there?” at least Shane could count on Jack not much caring if Shane was a little curt. 

“I eavesdropped on them. They’re trying to evacuate instead of holding the area,” Shane explained, running at her max speed while following the trail that she knew would lead to Jack.

“Uh huh. You did way more than eavesdrop,” Jack said. Shane honestly didn’t know why she thought she could ever fool Jack. Jack knew what Shane was going to do before Shane even thought it. 

“You would too if you heard fucking Banes on the line using your number,” Shane returned before finally sprinting around a corner to find the meat of the action once more. 

“My nu-- oh, fuck that! That’s hardly--” but Jack stopped speaking to instead fling two Guardians at a wall, smashing them into pulp within their armor. 

“Hardly worth gettin’ pissy over?” Shane asked mildly, Charging right past Jack to fire off a short burst from her stolen Mattock into a line of troopers. 

“Well, kinda, yeah. But... thanks,” Jack admitted, before flinging a Phantom into the air. Shane smiled to herself before peppering the Phantom full of holes as it rotated in mid-air. 

In all honesty, Shane was glad to hear Jack wasn’t reacting as badly to ‘Subject Zero’. She was healing. But that wasn’t going to make Shane suddenly shrug about the use of the moniker. Especially from Cerberus. 

“Also, it was kinda half-selfish anyway. Banes was responsible for what happened to Kahoku’s men. He sicced a fuckin’ thresher on me when I went to look for the missing troops,” Shane continued, seeing no point in pretending it was all selfless caring of Jack’s ‘feelings’ 

“Ah, damn. S’e’here?” Jack asked as the pair finally reconnected to storm down a hallway. Jack had heard the tale of woe many times when it came to Akuze, but the Kahoku mission was new. Though Jack never really cared about learning new things about Shane, in that she didn’t actually go asking, it was only natural to learn more at ‘surprising’ times. They couldn’t possibly talk about each other’s 20+ years of life in the galaxy and still have time to kill some Cerberus fucks. It wasn’t hidden history, just history they hadn’t brought up yet. The reason they worked out so well is they had no expectations of such. Their histories had to come up organically, not after playing 20 questions. They bonded because their trauma was shared, the same people had caused them both a lot of pain and torment. In different ways, sure, but still the same people.

“Nah, I dunno where he is but he definitely isn’t here. The way he said things it seemed like he was already on a ship away from here,” Shane admitted. It was a disappointment but it would be rectified. 

“Well, you and I both know there’s no Cerberus fuck in the galaxy who can hide from us for very long. You wanna go after him, you know I’m fucking there,” Jack said, not even sounding out of breath yet. Shane had to admire her resilience. 

“Yeah, I know. Let’s finish up here then we’ll worry about Banes,” Shane said, offering a slight smile at the other biotic. Jack smirked back then as one they literally leaped into the next battle. 

#femshep #jacqueline nought #subject zero #jack x commander shepard #femshep x jack #femshack #Текст #otp: biotic bitches #my writing #me: slides in on V-day with femshack while sipping a Starbucks #long post

[piiratelovesyouyou]

So I’m about to give my 2 cents on The 100 7x04 that no one asked for lmao

Ok let’s start off with DEV! Omg he FINE like that’s genuinely all I was thinking every time he was on my screen 😭😍

Good thing Octavia and Diyoza raised hope to be a survivor, can you imagine being left alone as a kid? Madi does...I really hope they interact this season.

The music in the beginning omg that was so beautiful, when was the last time we had music with actual lyrics on this show?

We got to see Octavia for like 3 minutes but not gonna lie I was satisfied.

Echo/Octavia/Gabriel are so cute, I really enjoyed their family dynamic with Orlando and then THAT happened!

ECHO WHY????? I feel like though a lot of the other characters would’ve done the same thing! When she said ‘yes he’s our friend but we’re not his people’ I felt that in my soul omg. I don’t understand why they didn’t just bring him along though? Do you actually need the body shield thingy because I swear Clarke and the others weren’t wearing it when they went in.

I really liked Orlando omg why did he have to go out like that?

Who’s the ‘Shepard’ is that what they said?? Who are the disciples??? SO MANY QUESTIONS

Gabriel in tears... had me in tears

Who else was looking at Gabriel’s shoulder a lot of the time? Just me? ok

Hope shocked that her mum was known as a terrorist ...what she gonna do when she finds out Octavia was bloodreina?!

‘Aunty O would’ve loved to see you get your ass beat’ OCTAVIA IS SO PETTY LMAO

Wait so sanctum, how did they find that body? Am I missing something, did that happen in the last ep?

When raven said to Jordan ‘sorry we took so long to get you’ YEAH SORRY IS RIGHT he was missing for how many episodes?!!!

Bless raven, with any other character I would say this is a make or break thing but NOT RAVEN! She’s been through one of the hardest things this show has had to offer. I know she’s gonna be okay

I WISH Gabriel had come to raven about the anamoly in season6 I mean CAN YOU IMAGINE? They would‘ve saved so much time

Jordan and raven geeking out was so cute

I REALLY LOVED CLARKE THIS EP! I don’t know, she just reminded me of how she was in season3/4 times! Lmao I love how EVERY time they come across new people, they already know Clarke is a bad bitch!

Miller to Gaia ‘Gaia got rid of our backup’ when I tell you miller had the best one liners in this ep 😭

I don’t know what it is about Gaia but she’s just so....I don’t hate her but I wouldn’t care if she wasn’t there

But who took Gaia? Why do I feel like it was Bellamy

I wish Murphy,Emori and madi went with them like no goodbyes?

Did Gabriel,echo and hope go into the anamoly the same time as Clarke,raven,Jordan,miller and Nylah????

I really hope bellamy is in the next episode

So the disciples have been reading our guy’s minds?

This was definitely a better episode than the last i mean maybe because it didn’t have the sheidheda storyline idk

#The 100 #the 100 season7 #the 100 7x04 #clarke #bellamy #octavia #raven #jordan #miller #murphy #echo #hope #gabriel #orlando #dev #nylah #gaia #indra #madi #emori #russel #sheidheda #anamoly

[octerminal]

this might be a silly ask, but what are some trivial things about nadia? things like, favourite colour, animal, smell, touch, taste, things like that?

It’s not silly at all, I love any excuse to talk about my Shepard lol. Thank you so much for the ask!

Favorite Color

To be terribly predictable: black. I don’t think it’s something she’s conscious of, though. She just gravitates toward it without realizing, until one day on the SR-1 Ashley is like, “do you own anything that has color to it? Dress blues don’t count.” And she just hands Ashley one of her N7 color schemed items, and Ashley’s just like, “That doesn’t count either.” 

I think part of it is a comfort thing—it’s easier to blend in when she wears darker colors (if not black, then she favors grays; if she’s absolutely forced to wear something more color than not, she goes for dark hues like maroon, lilac, etc.). There’s also something to be said about how it reminds her of space, too. But…it’s also for practical reasons, lmao. Blood isn’t as noticeable.

Over the years I think she grows fond of certain shades of blue because she starts associating it with Kaidan. (Which is funny to think about, because who even knows what Kaidan’s favorite color is? But all of a sudden, whenever Shepard buys him something she’s always buying it in blue and he’s just like, I Guess This Is My Life Now. He does strike me as the type who’d like blue, though.)

Favorite Animal

I don’t really think she’s much of an animal person. She didn’t have pets growing up (unless you count the strays in her neighborhood, but after a certain point trying to bond with them served no purpose because they’d always go missing sooner or later) and as an Alliance marine who spends most of the year deployed in deep space doing Suspicious, Super Classified Shit even before the tours on the Normandy, she doesn’t have the time nor living space to take care of any as an adult. 

I think Joker is the one who first gives her a pet fish aboard the SR-2¹, and she’s just kind of like, “…uh, okay” and proceeds to let it die because looking after a fish is not particularly high on her list of priorities. But afterward, when she’s cleaning it up, she feels a weird pang of something², and the next time she visits the Citadel she impulse buys a replacement. Then it kind of grows from there, with the rest of the crew sometimes chipping in. (I feel like this is something Kasumi would absolutely delight in.) Grunt gets her a hamster instead of a fish because “it’s basically the same thing, right?”

She’s actually secretly pretty disappointed no one took care of her fish while she was under house arrest, because she was also secretly pretty proud of herself for keeping them all alive after the first one died.

Anyway, that doesn’t really answer your question, though, does it? I think she discovers she’s a dog person after the war when she gets a therapy one. Kaidan thinks it’s funny, because her personality is way more like a cat’s.

Favorite Smell

This is an interesting one. I feel like she’s probably grown accustomed to the artificial smells of space stations and ships, but she prefers, in James’ words, “real air.” I think she really likes going planetside and being able to take off her hardsuit’s helmet and just smell the air. Especially when it’s uncharted worlds like the ones you explore in the first game—that’s really exciting to her.

As far as specific scents go, I associate her with spices and woods, though in reality she really only smells like sweat and the Alliance issued soap she uses, because she’s certainly not the type to bother with fancy versions of things like that. She definitely likes how Kaidan smells (though she’d never admit that out loud, at least not during the trilogy) even though I imagine he smells much the same with the added bonus of eezo…if that even has a scent, lmao.

The other scent might be something like cinnamon, since she has very few intact memories of whatever family she had at birth, but she does remember a woman who always smelled like cinnamon.³

Favorite Touch

She definitely likes textured things. Smoothness unnerves her. This is actually a big reason why she never bothered healing any of her pre-Lazarus scars, even though the technology to do so definitely exists.⁴ She liked herself better with them; it felt more honest. She’s relieved when she starts accruing new scars not associated with her cybernetics after Cerberus brings her back.

As far as specific objects go, I think her equipment? Taking apart her guns and hardsuit to clean and feeling all their grooves frequently calms her.

Beyond that, honestly, Nadia is never going to be much of a words person, so physical touch is really her main language. It’s unfortunate for herself and everyone around her she’s not very good at it.⁵

Favorite Taste

I have a headcanon that one of the first things she does when she visits a new place (and has the time) is to make a beeline for any food joints. Since food was scarce growing up, I feel like it’s one of the few things she allows herself to indulge in without much guilt (within reason, anyway). She definitely spent a lot of time on the Citadel in the first two games checking out the various wards for hidden gems.

I have another headcanon⁶ that during her house arrest, she ditches James one night and sneaks off the compound partially because she’s getting stir crazy, partially because she’s just sick of the slop they serve in the cafeteria and she knows from her time on shore leave that wherever there’s an amassing of marines, there’s also going to be vendors nearby to take advantage. So, James has a heart attack thinking he’s lost track of The Very High Profile Commander Shepard, Who Very Much Needs To Stay Within The Alliance Headquarters Because (Political) Reasons, and Oh God, What Is Alliance Brass Going To Do To Me When They Find Out? What Is Anderson??? and then he gets pinged on his omni-tool that his credit chit has been flagged for suspicious activity at a location not too far from the compound and he heads over to find The Great Commander Shepard sitting on a bench near a food truck digging into a takeout container full of some, like, fusion, hipster-y food you’d find in most big cities. And she’s just like, “oh, you finally caught up, took you long enough, anyway here’s your share” and James can’t get over the fact The Great Commander Shepard robbed him and bought him food with his own money and then acted like she was the one treating him. 

Anyway, to actually answer your question…she’ll try anything at least once but she prefers savory over sweet, and especially spicy foods. But she does have a (guilty pleasure) sweet tooth for those delicate and pretty pastries, again because it’s definitely a luxury she never got growing up.

Favorite Hobby

You didn't ask about this one, but I think it fits with the general theme, so hopefully you don't mind lol.

I think before and during the trilogy, she didn't have a lot of time for hobbies that didn't also directly correlate with or benefit her work (e.g., exercising, tinkering with her equipment, programming), but she does have a couple. She likes taking pictures⁷, particularly of scenic views since "exploring space" was one of the biggest reasons why she signed up with the Alliance even though she knew she was trading one cage for another and was under no illusion she'd actually ever be doing good work for the Alliance. (The fact she ultimately does during the trilogy is...unexpected.) She just has this sense of wonder about the galaxy that never goes away, even when she's forced to repress every other emotion. So she likes to document it. (Sometimes she shares them, and I think it becomes something of an extranet meme because it's just so completely at odds with the rest of her social media presence—which is negligible—and also how she appears in interviews—which is not very complimentary—so everyone just kind of thinks it's funny.)

There's also the model ships, but like with the fish, I think someone else gets her started on those first. In my mind it's Miranda, who takes one look at how Shepard is coping in the second game and is like, "Why don't you [assemble some toy ships] and maybe you'll calm down.png" and well, to be fair...it does help, lmao. It's similar to when Shepard takes apart her guns or the like to clean them, only the end result is toy ships. Usually, her favorites are, funnily enough, enemy ships because they're more complicated to put together. (But she does have a soft spot for the SR-1, of course. And the Mako, even though that one doesn't exist in trilogy canon because BioWare exists to spite me.)

Post-war, she has a lot more downtime than she's comfortable with and to prevent herself from going stir crazy she picks up a few more. The main ones I've thought of center around restoration, like restoring obsolete tech or objects to make them functional again. I think she also picks up tinkering on cars and shuttles, partially due to Cortez' influence, partially due to the fact it was one of the jobs she had before she joined the Reds, partially due to her previous experience repairing her beloved Mako, and partially just because I imagine most of her recovery happens on Kaidan's family's orchard, and there's not a hell of a lot to do there.

So, basically: most of her favorite things to do generally involve taking things apart and putting them back together.

Thanks again for the ask! Sorry if this is way more than you anticipated and/or wanted, lmao. If it's not obvious by now, I have a tendency to ramble.

¹It’s because he feels guilty over and responsible for her death and subsequent “employment” with Cerberus, and he read somewhere fish are supposed to be relaxing or something, right? Maybe if he gets her a fish her face will stop doing that creepy glowing thing it’s doing. Not that he says any of that. He pretends it’s a joke gift. (EDI sees through it, obviously.)

²[Narrator voice] That feeling was loneliness.

³I envision this person being her grandmother.

⁴The other reason is because she thinks it’s a frivolous waste of resources, which is also the reason she doesn’t erase the renegade scars despite the fact she does actually hate those.

⁵Like, she gets better (marginally—she’s still never going to be touchy-feely with a lot of people, but at least she’ll one day be willing to sometimes hug her friends), but she definitely does not like touching most other people, and she does not like most other people touching her (even though she simultaneously craves it). Kaidan is really the only exception to this, but even he takes until the third game to really get to that point with her. Anderson is also something of an exception, but to a much lesser extent.

⁶This is actually a scene from a fic, if I could ever finish one of those anyway

⁷This is how I justify how many screenshots I take in game.

#elhresvelg #replies #ch: nadia shepard #* #sorry for being a little tardy in my reply! #i worked on this before and after (mostly after lmao) work the past couple days #it was a great de-stressor and i had a lot of fun #thank you!!!

[rosykims]

DRAGON AGE QUESTIONS

tagged by: @nordxz​ thanks so much !!! *heart emoji* 

favourite game of the series?

origins! although inquisition is very close as well.  inquisition was my favourite for a very time, but like midway through last year i replayed origins and it just felt.....so good. i really struggled with enjoying dao because of the clunky fighting system but an amazing mutual introduced me to a mod that lets u skip fights basically lol, so i was just able to focus on the story/characters/exploration of the game, which just....made me realize how immensely beautiful the game actually is, and i fell in love all over again aaaaa

how did you discover dragon age?

i was a huge mass effect fan ! mass effect was the game that motivated me to make this blog, actually, and obviously through following people i saw a lot of posts from the da community as well. so i bought origins and inquisition (i had NO idea there was a da2 until half way through awakening lmao) and tried to play origins but HATED it gtrhutgrhugtr and then eventually gave it another try like a month later and completely loved it and now here we are

how many times you’ve played the games?

not as many times as some people on here have - i would say origins maybe four times, da2 maybe twice, inquisition three times. but that also doesnt count all the timesw ive created new games and then abandoned them lol bc theres too many to count 

favourite race to play as?

love me some elf booty ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

favourite class?

at first it was rogue dual wielder ! i played as a rogue in every single first-time playthrough and idk i felt that class has always been the easiest/most op. but in the last maybe 2 years it’s changed to mage. ive always been super intimidated by magic classes in every game i play but i LOVE inquisition’s mage classes/specializations and i can never go back now

do you play through the games differently or do you make the same decisions each time?

im so so so bad and i usually end up making very similar choices, but usually bc i just......replay the same characters every time hgtuhgtruhgtrui. i REALLY need to make more da ocs to explore more choices but....i dont want to lol i already have to many. i still havent sided with the templars in a playthrough like i just cant do it 

go-to adventuring group?

i always bring my characters love interest with them no matter what, just bc its cute, but usually i try to evenly cycle the other characters around that. i always try to have a warrior/rogue/mage in every party. but sometimes i’ll go warrior/warrior/mage/mage especially if i need to focus on straight damage and a LOT of healing lol

my favourite parties would probably be:

dao - alistair + zevran + wynne (wholesome and also funny)

da2 - anders + fenris + merrill (SO much chaotic energy)

dai - solas + cassandra + cole (i just love them ok)

which of your characters did you put the most thought into?

ashara lavellan, my canon inquisitor who was never supposed to be canon tghtgurhtrg. my original canon inq was a trevelyan rogue, who was super nice and good. i made ashara so that i could actually play as an evil/mean character without feeling bad lol, oh and i also wanted to see what the deal with solas was bc i had heard his romance was good ;;;;) anyway that backfired and i ended up completely falling in love with her, and i STILL couldnt make the tough choices with her so i was like ok maybe she isnt THAT evil and now shes just..... the way she is now i guess lmao

favourite romance?

trhhtruih okay u guys KNOW its solas. u know. i dont even have to say anythiing about it bc...u fucking know

(alistair’s is very close tho)

have you read any of the comics/books?

i havent :(((( im such a bad fan but i cannot deal with ordering online and thats the only place ive been able to find them. im planning on reading asunder and the masked empire as soon as i get the chance (and the money) tho !!

if you read them, which was your favourite book?

nope

favourite DLCs?

trespasser ! its pretty simple and very plot-driven like u didnt have to worry about side missions as much as u would with other dlcs so idk that was... refreshing. but obviously i loved it just bc it was so beautiful and intense and sad (since my chara romanced solas obviously) and that music score????? unbelievable i’ll never be over it

things that annoy you.

can i say the fandom trghuitgrhutrhui

mostly the thing that pisses me off the most is the grey morality. writers trying to make everything deep and Thought Provoking like..... no jerry, slavery IS bad theres no alternative viewpoint lol??????? also the fucking whitewashing makes me see red. 

orlais or ferelden?

ferelden!!!!! (*blows a kiss* for highever)

templars or mages?

mages <3 

if you have multiple characters, are they in different/parallel universes or in the same one?

i only have like 3 protag da characters and they’re all canon, although emeraude is an au. so ella is my canon warden and ashara is my canon inquisitor, but emeraude does exist in that universe, bc i hc she befriended the warden and alistair when they visited the alienage, and she was very outspokenly angry and didn’t really give a shit that alistair was going to be heir. which alistair really,,, appreciated i guess? so emeraude is made his official elven adviser after his coronation but she also kinda helps out as a royal protector because she’s one of the only people in court they both trust completely lol. also she is....stronk. 

and the only other characters i have for da are obviously side characters who are related to my canon protags so. they’re all canon as well lol

what did you name your pets? (mabari, summoned animals, mounts, etc)

ella named her dog ser bark gthutgrhutghruihtr she thought it was cute ok

emeraude just went with barkspawn since alistair came up with the idea as a joke but she thought the joke was so bad she made them keep it as punishment vjhuightui

i dont really have a hawke oc but.....he named his dog shepard in my playthrough ! like from mass effect ;;;;)))

have you installed any mods?

origins is modded to hell and back and i genuinely couldn’t play the game without mods at this point. inquisition is slightly modded but im in the process of removing them all, and only keeping a few because my game runs pretty terribly with them installed 

did your warden want to become a grey warden?

ella did ! but it was kind of,, a naive childhood dream, she had a really romanticized view of the wardens and she wanted a life of excitement and bravery and adventure, not really taking into consider all the bad things about it (and obviously not knowing the full truth about what it means to be a warden)

emeraude did NOT want to be a warden. she basically had to be dragged out of the alienage because she wanted to stay and protect her community. she never really enjoyed being a warden, although her friendship with alistair was its one redeeming quality 

hawke’s personality?

uh i cant remember the colour/personality thing but he was a combo of funny/ethical. mostly there for memes tho. 

did you make matching armor for your companions in inquisition?

for origins i do ! i always make sure alistair and ella wear the grey warden armour, as well as every warden in awakening. thats like, all theyre allowed to wear lmao.

if your character(s) could go back in time to change one thing, what would they change?

ella would obviously change her family’s murder lol, and emeraude would at least try and change what happened at her wedding, to prevent shianni and the others from being hurt. 

ashara would change romancing solas :((( she was so angry at herself after discovering who he was, and she felt weak and foolish which she HATES more than any other feeling, so she definitely wishes she had never met him for a long time. after she kind of processes it though, and learns to deal with her anger, her answer would be that she wishes she had saved the chargers. it’s the one move she made that actually keeps her up at night sometimes. 

do you have any headcanons about your character(s) that go against canon?

ghuitrhuigtrhugtr so many. canon? dont know her. 

the biggest example would be that i hc king!alistair was at the winter palace during the wicked hearts level. because uh..... celene and the fereldan monarchs had been corrosponding for over 10 years, trying to build up rapport, of COURSE the king would be there to see who the potential ruler/s of orlais would be and whether or not he ought to be worried. like. im sorry but alistair was there lol you can’t change my mind. i also hc he helps ashara with information about the grey wardens during this chapter, because ???? it just makes sense??? im so angry i wish this was canon

are any of your characters based on someone?

ok it was unintentional but ashara reminds me of an english teacher i had in highschool who was very scary but also....really cool and i loved her. it was an accident but,, still counts. 

who did you leave in the fade?

gtiturghtugh okay at the risk of pissing off EVERYBODY who reads this, i left hawke in the fade, even though it was a toss up between hawke and stroud. it was ashara’s fault tho !!! she would have 100% prioritzed an alliance with the grey wardens over like,, some guy. it broke my heart but yeah That happened. 

favourite mount?

i like all the elk mounts mostly ! but i never use them bc they sound ugly af

tagging : @trvelyans​ @f3nharel​ @allisondraste​ @ensevens​ @tethraas​ @talizorah​ @fereldun​ if u are up to it <3 and whoever else wants to do this ! 

#/ long post #sorry this is so long i got carried away oops #dai #dao #da2 #personal

[aliemah]

Okey, fic idea; Ashley stubbornly refusing to admit she’s got the absolute largest boner for Shep because she is independent and opinionated and a smidge too prideful to admit that she has fallen for Commander “i love blasto and eat ice cream for breakfast” Shepard. I headcannon that before she and Shep discuss their relationship Garrus and Tali take turns pointing out how they’re basically already a married couple

here we go: (sorry its late but like. PAX and I’m tired lmao)

“Tali, do you have a minute?”

“Sure, just let me finish this last line here.” the quarian practically chirped. Ashley always thought that, like turians, the quarians had an ave-like complex to them at times.With Tali it was admittedly very cute. The patterned fabric that Ashley had grown so used to was suddenly turning, the tinted visor now in its place. “What did you need?”

“I was just wondering if you could look over this report for me. I wanted to send it off, but seeing as I sort of got knocked unconscious, I thought it would be best to double check that my memory is still in tact.” she laughed.

“Oh, sure. No problem.” Tali reached to take the data pad, her hand not stretching very far to grasp it.

“You don’t have to if you don’t feel up to it, I can ask someone else-”

“You just usually ask Shepard, that’s all.” Tali shrugged. “I’m happy to read over it.”

“I don’t usually ask him. I’m usually the one filling out the reports for him.” Ashley scoffed, crossing her arms and waiting as Tali read. She was always a quick reader.

“That’s true. I’m always watching you two exchange doing work for each other. It’s really cute sometimes.”

“Me? Cute?” Ashley snorted. “Not two words I would ever put together.”

“Not just you. You and Shepard.” Tali looked up, handing the data pad back. “Everything looks good to me. But seriously, you two do things without realizing it.”

“The report is all I came for, Tali.” Ashley smiled as she backed up. “But if you’re still up for it, I guess we can talk more over dinner.” Tali shook her head and muttered something playfully that the translator couldn’t pick up on. Ashley shrugged and went back to her usual spot up in the lounge. 

The new Normandy was massive, but it still felt like a home - everything was laid out more or less the same, at least. And even with the smell of the paint still lingering, and all the loose wires, it was a beautiful ship. She only wished she’d have gotten to see it before some of the rooms had been removed. John was always talking to her about how nice it was to be able to wander around the ship between relays, and just admire the ship.

Ashley sometimes regretted that she didn’t join him all that time ago. But she’d stuck to her guns, and he’d turned out okay. They were mostly over that whole period between them anyway, so there wasn’t any reason to think on it. There were more important things anyway, like what to do to prepare for the next mission, where they would go, what business she could wrap up on the Citadel next time. It was a lot for her mind to process. And with the worst of her concussion behind her, thinking was at least a little clearer. Though she still felt slow at times.

“Whoa,” a voice called her from her thoughts sooner than the sensation of bumping into someone, warm hands on her shoulders that she only now realized were freezing.

“Lost in thought,” she sighed, not even bothering to look up.The hands lingered and kept her from going further.

“Ashley, slow down.” he laughed. “What’s got you in such a hurry?”

“A lot on my mind.” she said, finally looking back. She almost let her shoulders fall, her mouth smile, those feelings bubbling dangerously at the surface… But now wasn’t the time. “I still have some reports to do. Maybe later?” she turned back around before he could reply, slipping away yet again.

Was she avoiding talking to him? Mostly. Was it for a good reason? Not at all. Or entirely. It depended on the view.

She was sitting happily in the relative silence of the lounge when the door chimed and it opened, alerting her softly to someone’s presence. She turned and smiled when she saw Garrus.

“What’s up?” she asked. No one came in here unless they needed to speak with her. At least at this hour. It was nice.

“Just wanted to check in on you, and ask you a small favor.” he shrugged, pulling out a small weapon mod from his pocket and tossing it to her as he walked around the couch to sit. “Found that down in the shuttle bay, James said it was yours.” Ashley took a moment to look over the scope, smiling when she saw the paint chipped off of it.

“That it is. Scope for my pistol. Glad you got it to me before I needed to use it. What was the favor?”

“It’s uh... A little personal.” he laughed, looking to the side. “What um... What does Tali like to do with her time off?”

“An odd question.” Ashley smirked, leaning back a bit. “She usually spends her time off talking with her friends, from what I hear. That or she programs her little drone.”

“Good to know.” he nodded, avoiding looking over at her.

“Are you trying to ask her on a date or something?” Ashley laughed. “Because if so, you should just do it. It’s easier than trying to be subtle. And I think Tali would appreciate you being forward with her. She’s been through enough.”“That’s true.” he nodded again, then looking over, the smirk evident in his eyes and tone. “It’s a shame you and Shepard can’t seem to follow that same advice. It’s driving the rest of us insane.”

“Oh god, not you too.” she rolled her eyes, standing up. “John and I are just friends. Okay? There’s.... Nothing there.”

“So you say.”

“So there is, Garrus. Besides, it’s...” she paused and laughed, “it’s really ridiculous. He is the biggest Blasto nerd I’ve ever met, and I swear that if it weren’t for me and to some extent Chakwas he’d be eating ice cream for every meal.”

“That’s the sweet frozen treat?” Garrus asked. Ashley nodded, and then he laughed loudly. “You take care of him, and in case you forgot, every time we went to the Citadel while you were in Huerta, he went and visited you first thing, for at least two hours each time. I think you don’t want to admit how much you mean to him and how much he means to you, Ash. You two take care of each other and you can’t sit there and tell me that isn’t based off something.”

“You came in here to ask about Tali, not to lecture me on a non-existent relationship that will never happen.”

“I wouldn’t say never.” He stood up. “You two need to talk soon, anyway. You both have a lot to say to one another, whether it be the missions or your personal lives. But listen to me: we may not have a lot of time left. Now isn’t the time to live with maybes. If you think there’s a chance, better find out now than regret it when your time comes.”

They were both silent as they looked at one another. She smiled and nodded slowly as her head lowered.

“You have a point. But I’m telling you, there isn’t anything there between us but a solid friendship.”

“Better than nothing.” he shrugged as he walked out, leaving her in peace with her now scrambled thoughts.

A long time ago, she did feel something very real for John. She’d given herself up to him, trusted him completely, and then he was torn from her before she could even begin to imagine a forever with him. Now here she was about two and a half years later, faced with nearly-certain death every day, and she wasn’t sure if she could open herself up to him again. Or anyone else. But she did still... Feel something. She wasn’t too sure what it was.

But if she was going to give advice, shouldn’t she follow it, as well? Ashley needed to ask John and talk to him about this before the chance slipped away. So she pulled out her omni-tool and sent him a quick message.

Hey,

I know we haven’t talked for a while, but I’ve had a lot on my mind. Maybe when we get to the Citadel, you and I could have a little chat? You know, personal stuff.

Believe it or not, sometimes I get worried you’re working yourself too hard. You could use a break.

Let me know when and where you want to meet, and I’ll be there.

- Ash

There was a tiny fluttering in her stomach that she chalked up to the empty glass in her hand. And the fact that John was running at least fifteen minutes late. She hated not knowing what was going on, and she’d checked her messages at least six times over, making sure she had the right time, day and place. She’d even messaged him letting her know that she was waiting with a table.

Though not a moment later she heard footsteps, and turned, nearly spitting out her drink as she giggled.

“What the hell are you wearing?” she asked as he sat down.

“Best damn shirt in the galaxy.” he beamed, lounging happily in the empty seat next to her. “Took the last one.”

“It’s a Blasto shirt- I can’t believe you, John.” she snorted, setting the glass down as she laughed. It wasn’t that he looked silly in it, it was just that he was so... obsessed with those movies.

“Don’t act like it doesn’t look good on me.”

“I’m not saying it doesn’t,” she got out in the middle of her laughing, “I just can’t believe you sometimes. You act like a child.”

“That’s me.” he laughed, shrugging. “Anyway, this is why I was late, sorry.”

“You know what,” she sighed, “I can’t be mad at you. Of course you would stop to buy a ‘This one will see you in the afterlife’ shirt. What movie was that from again?”

“The fourth one. The best one.”

“Right.” she snorted, aware of how much she was laughing, and likely how dumb she looked and sounded.

“I haven’t seen you this happy for a long time.” he said softly, leaning over. “Maybe I should wear this around the Normandy. It would be worth it if it made you feel better.”

“No, I think that would be too much.” she grinned, “Though, you could bother to stop by more often. It gets pretty lonely in the lounge by myself.”

“I didn’t know if that would be too much.” he suddenly seemed to frown, the creases on his face returning, aging him quickly. “You... Well...” he stammered for a moment before sighing. “I didn’t know if it was too much. Things haven’t been all that clear so far as where I stand with you.”

“Look, John,” she sighed, deciding to get it over with, “A lot has happened since we were last together. And I don’t regret any of it. But we’re different people now, and we have a lot more riding on us coming out of this alive.” She paused and looked up with a smile. “I’m not saying I wouldn’t like to pick things up where we left them, but I just don’t think that’s going to work. So... I guess what I am trying to say is that maybe we can start over and get to know each other again. I miss staying up late at night when we can’t sleep just talking, and spending time together. I miss having a best friend who I can also fall asleep with at night and feel loved.”

“Beat me to the punch.” he murmured, his smile larger than when she’d started speaking. “But we’re on the same page, at least. That’s a pretty good start, I think.”

“And maybe we can skip over a few things and head back to the Normandy after lunch?” she smirked, aware that her mouth was moving faster than her thoughts. John barked out with laughter and then reached over to push her glass away from her.

“Let’s see how we feel after we’re done eating, first.”

#mass effect #fanficiton #fanfic #ashley williams #commander shepard #mshep #john shepard #ashley x mshep #fluff #tali zora vas normandy #garrus vakarian #cute #prompt #vykwarus #aliemah-0 #queue me up scotty

[transpathfinder]

aaand WE ARE DONE WITH THE TRILOGY REPLAY!!

i cannot believe how beautiful this journey was yet again, and how emotional i got at the same scenes i was literally dude screaming and crying and saluting meme jpg multiple times.

i know people have said the EC made a very good add on but i had NO IDEA HOW SATISFYING IT WOULD BE  W O W. my heart was really full with that and Hackett's voiceover in the end? it was soo excellent i am so glad that i got to experience the trilogy again with that now. everything... can be rebuilt... and i love the parting message is just.. learning from your mistakes, realising what it took to win and what it took to bring everyone together, the sacrifices along the way. i always thought the Citadel crashed through to Earth and Shepard survives the fall in an enclosed cocoon but the EC showed it is damaged but still in orbit in space so i figure she is just found there (unless i forgot or never paid attention before), and the relays too being damaged but not outright blown to pieces. niiceee kinda have an urge to rewrite the end i wrote before too now i'm more sure of how Shepard reunites with her loved ones (minus Thane, who would be on Earth) after a few months or a year prob as i imagine it'll take a while to repair the relays. space travel will be slow until then and i see the Normandy only limping back to Earth after mooonthss/a year scavenging resources along the way. but communications would be up much sooner so yay

one new thing i noticed in this pt that never occurred to me before is that there is no music during the London climax apart from cutscenes?? all u hear when you're fighting through the rubble is wails and cries and gunfire plus the Reaper horns, unlike battle music played in previous missions. i could really feel the dread too the moment i finished Cronos i couldn't launch the final mission immediately it really felt like something stuck in my heart lmao

there was only One (1) thing which soured my pt this time round and it was Javik killing himself wtf i had no idea telling him to look into the shard would cause him to make that decision, i really thought i was gonna get that nice book ending with Liara ksdifuh so ye ofc that's what happens and i'll make sure to remember it next time. i made a Big Mis Steak

so yeah overall an extremely heartwarming replay that took my approx 4-5 months. i'm gonna put it to rest for a couple of years until the urge hits me again. *blows kiss to the stars* that's for u, Commander Shepard, thank u for an amazing ride once again 😭

#we remain an emo over this series in 2018. #sam shepard #mass effect for ts #/ #// #suicide mention ////

[biowarekiddies]

From the 'send me a character and number' headcanons list- hope I don't bombard you with numbers! How 'bout 10 for Aaron Shepard and 5 for Gertrude Shepard (I love the name!), 16 for Dimitri Ryder and 12 for Damaris Ryder, 3 for Dawn Trevelyan and 2 for Andraste Cousland (ALSO- WHAT A NAME), please?

Thank you SM for taking an interest in my OCs and asking!!!

Also, LMAO, nice choice with 16 for Dimitri. If you’ve ever seen him, you’ll know what I mean.

Warning: I’m the kind of person that likes writing long answers. Also, angst. And I’m so sorry, I didn’t exactly understand the weak spot ones. I just took a gander and wrote something that sounded about right. For Dawn’s I’m talking about anxiety, so you might want to skip that if it’s a bad time for you.

Mass Effect

Aaron for 10: Fears/Phobias

His greatest fear is losing. Losing a fight, losing loved ones, etc.

In the Tenth Street Reds, he owned next to nothing, so he had nothing to lose back then. And since he had to look out for himself, he learnt how to fight. It took a couple of beatings but eventually he understood how to properly fight back. 

However, as he grew up he met many people that became near and dear to his heart. There’s Gertrude, his sister, whom he offered shelter to when she ran away from home and was soon disowned. Mariko, his wife and the love of his life, whom he met when he bumped into her during his fresh meat days in the Alliance Academy on a fateful day at a corridor. Hoshiko, his daughter that he and Mariko had a few years later after they fell in love at first sight. 

You should’ve seen Aaron the day she was born, he was so hesitant to hold her in his arms, but when his wife urged him to and this tiny child that was his opened her eyes to reveal the exact same shade as his, he cried tears of joy before saying to his wife, “we did good.”

Also, consider Commander Shepard’s many triumphs. He was labeled the Hero of the Citadel, Butcher of Torfan and had destroyed the Collectors, and pushed the reapers off of Tuchanka. People gathered around him like acolytes to their god. He was The Shepard. He’s considered this indomitable figure, godly.

However, things did not last for Aaron. His fears became reality. He lost. He lost his family, beginning with Mariko from a lab explosion, then his sister, Gertrude, to a mission gone wrong, and finally, his daughter to slavers that invaded their home. And do not let us forget Thessia. His world crumbled all over again. He has lost more than he could even hold. 

He thought himself Atlas, but he was wrong. He could not uphold everything upon his shoulders. The heavens cracked and it took him with it.

He thought himself Achilles, and how right he was. An angry man they both were, with love that burned them, and both equally assured in their power, only to lose everything. Their bloodlust legendary. Their tragedy even more well-known.

Gertrude for 5: Guilty Pleasures

I think a guilty pleasure of her has to be 20th century music. She knows it’s the 22nd century, but blame her brother, alright? It’s his fault that she got into it.

Growing up with Aaron on the streets and a part of the Tenth Street Reds, they didn’t have a lot of things. Usually, anything they got was a reward for a finished job well done. Other times, they scavenge or steal, unsavoury as either of those options sound, that’s how you survive being a street rat. 

One day, Aaron had found a radio. A high-grade one by the looks of it. They poured any spare time and money onto fixing it, hoping for some entertainment in their dull place they call a “home”. By the time it was fixed, oddly enough, it could only play 20th century music, like Elvis Presley, Bon Jovi, David Bowie, etc. It was unexpected, but welcomed. From henceforth, they loved to jam to the tunes it played. 

In her universe as Commander Shepard, her crew-mates loved teasing her about her love for old music. Especially, Garrus and Joker to her chagrin. Whatever, though. It makes her happy and reminds her of her family, so let them joke all they want. 

Dimitri for 16: Dark Secrets/‘Skeletons’ in the Closet

Regarding secrets, it depends with who. His family? His lover? His best friends? His boss? Outsiders? Lackeys? His job is all about secrets and occasionally selling them for the right price. However, he’ll be nice and throw out some freebies since Demi (OC) seems to think you’re chill. 

(But, tbh, his sister knows every dark secret of his.)

A dark secret of him is that he’s a mama’s boy and a bit of a cry baby. Growing up, Alec grew up favouring Damaris, so Ellen took it upon herself to make sure that Dimitri felt equally loved - at least by her. Alec liked Damaris more because he thought that she was more mature, able to handle responsibility more, and he respected her for back-talking him. In comparison, Dimitri was naturally a sensitive, soft boy, and easy to cry. 

You should’ve seen him with his first love. So openly vulnerable and in love with her. He called her “Angel Eyes” and still does. He brought her flowers each day he saw her and almost always held her hand their entire childhood journey together. He was enamoured with her and he wanted the world to know.

However, as he growing up on Omega forced him to make himself more steeled and hard-hearted. But fortunately, when fate allowed his Angel Eyes to pay a visit to his district he melted back into his soft boy self (but privately). When he saw Demi he didn’t recognize her at first, but when she demanded to see Dimitri and Damaris Ryder it hit him like a krogan tackling him. It’s her, Angel Eyes. 

You should honestly see him whenever she does anything remotely cool. He just places a hand over his hand and softly whispers, “holy shit.” Also, sometimes, he’s so taken by her that he can’t help but cry (in private). He just loves her so much and infinitely. 

Damaris for 12: Grudges & Vendetta

Damaris has the biggest grudge fest against Alec, like you would NOT believe. She just hates him so much and irreparably. 

In her mind, this jackass “father” left her and Dimitri to rot and die on Omega. He was always so wrapped up in his inventions that they paid for it as children; neglecting them even when Ellen died and they needed a father the most. 

Almost as soon as Ellen died, he sold their house on the Citadel and moved them all to Omega before promptly ditching them. He visited here and there for the first year but soon after disappeared from their lives completely. However, at least he sent them money each month for food. Unfortunately, that money wasn’t enough though, which forced them to scavenge, steal, and eventually resort to crime, which lead them into the arms of Aria T’Loak (tbh, Damaris isn’t regretting that last part). 

They were Citadel children. They were used to a lifestyle that’s comfy, and border lining luxurious. They never had to fend for themselves before and Alec just dumped them on this shithole station. However, circumstances dictate that she eventually grows to love this corrupt but only because she and Dimitri ended up thriving there. Otherwise, they would’ve been another pile of corpses somewhere on Omega.

Another problem she has with Alec is that he played favourites. She hated that. She saw Dimitri cry himself to sleep some nights as kids because he thought he was unlovable. How dare that old bastard that claims to be their dad make Dimitri cry? She hated him the most for that. She hates Alec for causing any harm to Dimitri. Honestly, given the chance, she’d throat punch Alec.

Dragon Age:

Dawn for 3: Scars or Painful Spots

Dawn grew up as a particularly anxious child due to being told constantly how she’s going to be heir of her household. Her parents always harped her about what she should and should not do. “One wrong move and you could bring dishonour upon our family,” they always reminded her.

While she did grow up being something of a perfect little puppet for them it also left untold scars on her. Whenever she had to interact with people she didn’t want to, she’d feel this painful sensation in her chest. It constricted her lungs and made her heartbeat unbearable. 

This pain in her chest almost always bloomed. It put her mind out of focus but also on the fritz. It made her have to grasp for breaths. It made her do irrational things. 

Therefore, whenever in a compromising situation, the first thing that Dawn guards is her chest. She’s in pain enough, she doesn’t need somebody making it worse. Hugging herself made her feel somewhat secure and grounded again.

She lets few people get near her during these moments when her chest is its most vulnerable. The few she let near her are her closest friends from Ostwick, like Tal-Taashath, or Nellas (OCs), or her more recent companions like the Iron Bull. 

Nobody can truly make the pain go away, but they can help soothe it, like lulling a dragon to sleep. It’s difficult but plausible.

Andraste for 2: Emotional/Moral Weak Spots

A big moral weak spot for Andraste is her crumbling faith, which was caused by her emotional weak spot regarding what happened to her family.

For those that have played as a Cousland, you know what happens to the Warden’s family. They are ruthlessly slaughtered by the Howes. That night was beyond traumatic for her. 

How is it that the most faithful of the Maker’s children had been slaughtered that night? Is it true that the Maker has turned away from his creations and is refusing to ever come back to them and bathe them in his holy light? If so, she thought that night, what point is there to praying to a long-deaf god?

Everything she was had become ruin that night. She could no longer truly be called Andraste, whom the true one believed in the light and love of the Maker irrevocably. This mortal woman has lost her light but not her way, no thanks to the Maker. 

Her scorn against the Maker was fuelled when she saw the atrocities of the Circle. Innocents locked away, ready for slaughter as if they were livestock, while the Templars remained safe and cowered. This was what she aspired to be one day as a child? A rattling suit of armour that called itself a Templar? 

#aaron shepard #gertrude shepard #demi #dimitri ryder #damaris ryder #dawn trevelyan #andraste cousland #me #Mass Effect #mea #da #dao #dai #answered #anxiety #asks

[kfawkes]

You asked for a prompt, here you have one XD 3. Hesitant Kiss - The type of kiss where their lips brush against each other’s a few times, breath fanning across each other’s faces as one waits for the other to make a move. I love that list

[HI! Sorry, because this is late af ;.; as always lol. I should come with a warning lmao. Since I always write for Shakarian I think I am going to take a stab at Shega! I don’t think I’ve done Shega before… and I’ve only written James a littleeeee, so I might not be that great at him and encourage any comments about him. ANYWAY, lets see how this goes!

Also, it’s a little short like most my Mass Effect stuff rn, :D Hope you like!!!

There were a lot of things on Shepard’s mind currently. What to do tomorrow when she assaulted the Illusive Man’s base was the top of her list, with the Reapers tagging along closely behind… but mostly she was thinking about James food and the next time she could break away from this terminal to go see, er… eat some. 

It was late, very late and she’d been up for at least 30 hours… but this needed doing and it always had to be her, didn’t it? The short answer was yes. But that didn’t make it any easier, in fact it just–

Knock, knock, knock, knock

She wasn’t exactly sure who it would be, but she begged the universe to not have it be an emergency because all she wanted to do was sleep and eat and… But when that door opened it was none other than James Vega.

Now, if you asked her about this she’d flat out deny it, but once she saw him she felt her heart almost stop; and that was not a feeling she was fond of. No, it was weak and if there was one thing Jane did not like; it was that. 

But damn was he cute…

Another thing Shepard wasn’t too fond of was the emotional connection she now had for the guy… A physical attraction was one thing– just look at those shoulders, but ever since Mars, well, she’d been feeling a whole lot more than just lust.

What started out as a fun, playful friendship had blossomed into full on feelings for him, and it was more than a little embarrassing. If anyone knew how inappropriate this all was, it was Jane Shepard. She was his boss essentially, but… he was just so damn flirty and so cute and she was totally going to get fired, wasn’t she?

Good thing no one else can stop the Reapers, right? she joked to herself before coming back to reality… The reality being James standing at her door just after 12 am with the most adorable smile she’d seen him wear to date.

“James.” She finally said with eyes wide as she pulled her lip in anxiously scanning him up and down. 

“Hey, Lola… you busy?” James raised a hand to the back of his head, rubbing his short hair every which way as he stretched his neck side to side.

Jane took a deep breath in, sending him a soft smile as she nodded stepping to the side. When James passed she could smell him, and felt another annoyingly persistent chill wash over her. Knock it off, Jane… focus, she reminded herself once again to no avail as she followed him deeper into the room.

“So…” She tried sounding casual but could tell her one syllable came off a little forced and that only made her follow up more difficult. “is everything okay?”

They’d never had a problem talking before, but on more than one occasion Jane had been more than a little awkward… Just another aspect of this crush of hers she disliked.

“Don’t worry so much.” He replied soft and smooth, staring straight into her emerald eyes unblinking.

She let out an almost awkward laugh before starting again, wanting to ignore the way that voice made her feel… “Not that I mind the late night visit, but what exactly are you doing here?” 

“Don’t really know yet,” He paused looking away from her before continuing. “but I needed to see you. Couldn’t stop thinking bout you, Lola…” 

James was facing the fish tank, and sounded confident and flirty like usual but he also seemed slightly unsure of himself somehow. One thing Jane knew for sure was that he’d never said anything like that before; which surprised her more than anything else. He’d insinuated things, sure– but this was a whole new level, and she couldn’t hide the shock of his confession from her face. 

Shepard pulled her arms tightly across her chest, hugging away the butterflies she felt fluttering as she pressed her lips together eyeing him suspiciously. “Is that so?”

“Yup. Then here I was, knocking on your door.”

“Mind if I ask what you thought would happen once you got here?” Jane asked again narrowing her eyes further, pushing that feeling as low as she could; but it fought back. 

James turned towards her then, the smallest smile in the corner of his mouth as he stepped closer. Everything told her to get out, to run or something as silly as that sounds. 

But right then even though she knew she shouldn’t… there was nothing she wanted more. 

“Don’t know that either, Lola…” He whispered innocently as he stopped in front of her; far closer than he usually stood she noted. 

“So you just… showed up here in the middle of the night with absolutely nothing on your mind?” Jane cooed back just as softly, holding her eyes lighter than she should. “Let me ask you something… do you really expect me to believe that?”

He laughed as he licked his lips, not breaking his eye contact while he shake his head slowly back and forth. “No,” when he finished this time he was whispering close to her face, breathing down her neck. “I don’t.”

James was so close that she could feel the chills running over her like electricity. He was almost touching her, moments from tasting her; and honestly she didn’t know how much longer she could bare it.

But still nothing happened…

He was just seconds from her lips, breathing her in and scanning her freckles like a puzzle to be solved. Jane breathed out softly, her tongue lightly tracing the bottoms of her teeth while she hover, lips lightly brushing against his… wanting so desperately to feel them on hers fully.

And then at the same time they closed the space between them, their lips finally pressing together– fitting just perfectly, and in that moment nothing mattered at all.

Not the Reapers. Not the Illusive Man… absolutely nothing. Finally that feeling she’d denied for so long had been set free and god damn did it feel good.

#Shega #James Vega #Commander Shepard #Mass Effect #Fanfic #prompt #thanks!! #<3 #hope you like ;.; #PLEASE LET ME KNOW hahaha

[shepgarrus]

i remember really coming to like garrus when i saw a post about the comics, and how he’d been going to go on some exclusive off-world exchange or whatever as a teenager. because here he was being competent and high-achieving in canon even as a kid, and then the whole spectre-selection group (idrk anything my dudes lmao) from his performance once in the military. and just. fucking hell i guess there’s never been a character like that in any of the media i’ve liked? one that’s at the top of the class and achieves through competence and intelligence. because that was always me growing up, being the best and far ahead of everyone else and getting every opportunity except for the chance at having a friend who was an equal in basically any capacity. in high school there were people finally around my intellectual level, but all of them had come to the school with a best friend from their elementary school, save one girl but i found her annoying after like two weeks (we were probably too similar lmao).

i’ve since come to realize that i’m not best friend material and that it would be exhausting for me to ever have one, so at least there’s that. i can pretend in my head with garrus, even though i know we probably wouldn’t actually get along. i have no desire to do good for the sake of people, not to mention a sad fact i’ve recently realized: while sarcasm and teasing insults are my preferred dynamic in theory, in practise i can’t recognize them...like at all. i reread an old article i’d bookmarked about asperger’s and the recognition of expressions as expressions vs taking them literally, and i think i actually understood what they were trying to say the second time around, and boy am i noticing how much i fit what they described (i’m not diagnosed but that lets me tick another box on the lists lol), and i think my mom might be noticing my issues too. she’ll be teasing me not-seriously (or at least that’s what i think after the fact) but i’ll think she means what she’s saying but then i think she sees my blank expressions and clarifies that she was joking, which she never used to do. and then there was one similar incident in college with the one person i found in my year who conversed in sarcasm and absurdities the same way i do, and similar to how i imagine longer casual conversations with garrus would be, and my complete inability to tell if the guy was serious or not the one time we talked after our first conversation has made me realize that that sort of dynamic won’t work anywhere except my head or in fics, where i know from context how the jokes are meant, because it’s garrus and shepard.

but back to what i was saying earlier, about being a high-achiever: i still identify with it because that was my past and so still feels like the only reality i know, but now i’m feeling a huge disconnect because i’m not at that level anymore and can’t reach it. depression has taken my intelligence and my memory and my cognitive functions, not to mention my flawless emotional control (how do normal people function?????). i did some research a few days ago and it confirmed what i’d been thinking was the case: current depression treatment doesn’t try to touch cognitive deficiencies with a ten foot pole, even though they’re a diagnostic point and they’re shown to often persist past ‘remission,’ which is only measured by physical and emotional symptoms. how convenient that the one thing i used to keep my depression in check for over a decade without assistance is the one thing they can’t help me with. it’s also funny that i needed those cognitive functions to be able to do the emotion-related exercises they tout in cbt. thank god the medicine i’m on has me past that point now at least (fun fact: snri’s are more likely to help when there are cognitive issues than ssri’s. wish my doctor had known that, but then again she never seems to give a shit about my complaints of brain fog)

i still couldn’t get a clear answer on if cognitive issues are absolutely permanent (though it sure seems like a possibility), and some of the points the articles made are really making me realize that i need to consider that this may be permanent, that i won’t ever get back to normal. my normal is being a curse in itself, because with my reduced capabilities i’m apparently now around ~normal in thinking time and such (in some situations, don’t ask me to make a decision or plan lmao), so i’m pretty sure i’m being disbelieved by the therapy people that i’m actually having issues and that it’s not the ~depression making me think i’m a stupid piece of shit~ or what the fuck ever. and the research had me retroactively annoyed at the first place i went to, who wanted to charge me $500 to redo the psychoed assessment batteries i had done in grade ten when my mom was convinced i had add to see if my results had actually changed or if i was imagining my deficiencies (i can tell you right now that i’m not going to be scoring in the 98th percentile again on all that timed shit, not to even mention the writing component). basically show them if i’m telling the truth or not, so they could ‘figure out where to go from there.’ well apparently there would have been nowhere to go since there’s no fucking treatment for cognitive issues! there’s like one or two meds that might have some effect. that’s it.

being a smart kid my tendencies leaned towards complex and brain-engaging tasks, and the fact that all i may ever be able to manage is mundane and mindless is really hard to get my head around, not to mention the very idea is demoralizing as fuck (wow, bet that’s not good for long-term depression remission! too bad). i’m used to being able to solve any problem instantly, that’s how i learned to operate in the world and handle things i’m not good at (like conversations). not to mention the job i’m trained for has high intellectual demands which i was barely fucking handling by the end of college (and there, again, comes my issue of now being around normal - my severely handicapped still surpasses underachieving idiots, so it looks like there isn’t a problem even though i was barely functional by the time i passed my last test). i’ve been saying for the past year over and over that i can’t handle those intellectual demands with my brain as it is, but luckily some of the articles from my research that i bookmarked make the points i haven’t been able to put into words - that even a small decrease in cognitive functioning for someone in a high-demand job (they used the example of an air traffic controller) can be catastrophic, and that it needs to be recognized that those in depression remission but still suffering from cognitive deficiencies may need to keep to less complex jobs.

i’ve always felt a little off in this fandom because of everyone talking about how much they look up to shepard and are inspired by her. it would never have occured to me to look at her as an inspirational character, because it was so easy to see myself as her - always the best at what we do (except dancing. we have that in common too), like with garrus. and a lot of the like. personality/ways of thinking/reacting things they teach in the military were things i taught myself as a kid, and if i wasn’t so completely adverse to physical activity it’s probably an environment i’d have done well in. but knowing that i don’t have the mental endurance i used to, or the quick thinking, or anything that led me to reflexively identify with her, knowing that i’m not at that level now...it’s weird and i don’t like it, but i have no options because there’s no treatment. as one article i read closed off with, maybe in ten years there’ll be more research about cognitive deficiencies from depression and a full treatment, but until then, suffer.

#max talks #LONG RAMBLE YOU REALLY DON'T NEED TO READ #two hours of rumination that started with garrus and moved on to my broken brain

[mercysought]

@synthmama said: 📜 for here or for any of my muses on teleidoscopic (sorry I'm on mobile rifp) from 📜 plots! ( accepting )

oof hope you don’t mind the huge list, of course feel free to come to me to plot any of these!

For Moe

And Ashe because they are both criminals and while Moe is more of a contractor and works by commission (especially when it comes to omnic enhancements that she herself has) I feel that they could definitely meet and form a very good business relationship? Mostly when it comes to selling unusual weapons. Maybe even be convinced to do some work with the Deadlocks? Who knows, for something special she just might.

And Zenyatta because wow she would probably have never met an omnic face to face that she hadn’t felt the need to defend herself. I feel that he’s a bit all over the place in terms of spirituality for her, but I also feel that’s actually pretty good? If nothing else to open her mind to themes that she hadn’t felt interest before and that she with her intelligence could definitely help with.

 And EDI because just the sheer engineering involved in her is absolutely mind boggling and Moe would love the irony that a Cerberus AI would have gone rogue to decide her fate for herself. Moe appreciates this as she was born into a family of Cerberus scientists and decided to leave later. She builds smaller robots and is also toying with AI which most people thing it’s insane. I feel that they could definitely have really good coversations.

 And BB because while it is a military grade ‘tool’, I feel that Moe would find it the cutest thing she has ever seen.

And Thane because of the nature of both of their business it’s bound that they probably run in the same circles even if they never really worked together. But what if they did? I feel that they could be friends even if his clear cut memory does scare her a bit, ngl

For Loane

And Sera honestly just give it to me; I feel like it’s such a good combo and they can just have so much fun. Loane bringing her information wherever she is, sending her letters with smaller things that she feels that Sera would enjoy? Bee themed things? Showing off her bee tattoos at a later point? Sera being the one that drags her to do some pranks? Both women that kick ass with bows? Have them train together? So many ideas so little time

And Khaliya because I feel that Khaliya would be actually so charming that Loane would just develop this (probably very obvious) crush whenever she is around in Skyhold which would likely not be a lot. Small dwarven warden bringing wild dry flowers for the lady inquisitor simply because she saw them and thought they were nice, yes please. 10/10 would have her wallet stolen again.

For the priestess 

And Ana Amari? Despite the priestess working more closely with Blackwatch than the main crew of Overwatch I feel that they would actually get along really well? To see how they would have interacted before everything went tits up and also see how they would have after (because they are both quite different, Ana is alive which the priestess never thought she would be; and the priestess is alive but only with the help of being given a bunch of omnic enhancements)

And Zenyatta because she would definitely feel if not a bit lost definitely bitter after having nearly died and having to rely on technology to keep her alive. Have her be super suspicious of him and slowly grow to see that he actually has a lot of good points and a good way of life? A mood.

And Mason Shepard, in the verse that the priestess is one of the krogan shamans? Kicking ass, taking names? Maybe have him convince her to join the crew of the Normandy? (probably not a good idea but you know)

For the gentleman 

And Morrigan if nothing else because I feel that they could be so interesting together. I don’t know if your Morrigan has Kieran but in any case I feel that their meeting while she’s in Orlais could be interesting. Bonus points if she maybe remembers seeing glimpses of him before? Maybe during the Blight but it was situations that were like blink and you’ll miss it? Have them talk about the Eluvians after Morrigan eventually sees that he might know more information that he’s letting on? Talking about the well and, if she drinks from it, help decipher? I’m saying this but it’s unlikely that he would volunteer to do so lmao. Or, if we’re going by in a same verse where Khaliya is inquisitor and she drank from the well, maybe he could have been brought in to help as well and that’s how they meet officially?  

For Zofia

Maybe as a target that Thane was given? She would likely be a blind asari in this verse, maybe a Ardat-Yakshi but one that has voluntarily exiled herself though not in the same place as Samara’s daughers? But Thane doesn’t actuall follow through with it after seeing that she is actually trying her best to have others less fortunate and people that have been considered without redemption find a meaning in their lives?

#synthmama #teleidoscopic #skells speaking ( ooc ) #raven received ( meme replies ) #( this got so long pastry I am so sorry ) #( ngl I kind of cut off a few because lmao it would get even longer otherwise ) #( like I didn't even write anything for maxima. abel or émilie or for our favourite mom quinn urgh ) #( anyway I hope you like these ideas as much as I do )