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ihavethedreamies · 25 days

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Strawberry | Chenle

Zhong Chenle - NCT Dream

Rating: M (18+) MDNI

Word Count: ~2.1k

Pairing: Chenle x AFAB!Reader

Genre: Reader-Insert, Smut, Established Relationship, Porn without Plot

!!This is smut…if that much isn't clear you should probably leave now!! MDNI!

Warnings: She/Her Pronouns used, Swearing, Kissing, Dom! Chenle, Sir Kink, Spanking, Fingering, Squirting, Unprotected Sex (Don’t!!)

Summary: Your boyfriend likes strawberries a bit too much...

Author's Note: This series was supposed to be of drabbles, didn't happen.

This is only vaguely based off of Smoothie…I say this because I got the idea for a fruit theme, but past that its unrelated.

PS. Chenle is my bias so this is just me living vicariously through my writing…

🍉 Mark 🍉

🍇 Renjun 🍇

🍌 Jeno 🍌

🍒 Haechan 🍒

🍑 Jaemin 🍑

🍍 Jisung 🍍

I am cross-posting this on Archive. Please reblog! If you know anyone that would like this or future fics but they aren't on here my name and icon are exactly the same on the other site. Happy reading!

"Oh, my god, stop!" You slapped Chenle's hand again so he would leave the berries alone. You were trying to make a strawberry cake from scratch, even the sponge would be flavored and pink. Your boyfriend kept eating your ingredients though!

"Just one more~?" He widened his eyes into his best version of a puppy stare, and you almost gave in.

"No!" You hardened your tone more for yourself than at him. He pouted, casting you a pitiful look and you clicked your tongue. If he was really desperate, he knew what to do, but it didn't seem he was that eager to get more strawberries.

"I just like fruit…" He drifted off and you huffed.

"I know, Lele." He watched as you mixed the batter for the cake, eyes glancing back to the fruits every so often.

"If I have some left over you can eat those." You told him, using a rubber spatula to fill the cake pans.

"I still don't understand how Jaemin doesn't like strawberries." He tilted his head, so it rested against his shoulder, elbows resting on the counter where he sat on a stool.

"No one will ever understand anything about Jaemin." You countered and your boyfriend laughed in agreement.

"At least he's not afraid of them." You tossed him a defeated look and he laughed harder. While the sponge baked you made the frosting, Chenle watching in defeat as more and more of the berries disappeared from the container. Finally, you were cutting the last of the ones you needed to decorate the cake, and you had only one left.

"Here." You held the berry up to the side of your head, Chenle had sidled up behind you, resting his chin on your shoulder, arms loose around your middle. You felt his hum of delight from his chest pressed into your back as hip lips wrapped around the strawberry, his mouth brushing the skin of your fingers. Before you could pull your hand back down, his tongue flicked to lick the juice that had stuck there from your cutting.

"Hey! Now I gotta wash my hands again!" You clicked your tongue, bonking him softly on the head with a wooden spoon. He yelped much louder than was necessary and pouted at your side as you washed your hands once again. They were getting dry from the repeated cleansing. You put your boyfriend to dish duty as you got the cake sponges out and let it cool. You cleaned the rest of the kitchen up as much as you could, and you both got done by the time it was time to ice and decorate. He watched quietly (for once) while you finished the cake, eagerly taking the frosting bowl when you were done to eat the remnants. You had offered to get him a spoon, but he refused, just using his finger. Once the final decorative berry was placed on the top you sighed in relief, back a little sore from leaning over the counter like you did. It was simple, but that was the only way you could still make it look good. Chenle helped you rearrange stuff in the fridge to fit the cake in so it could fully set by the time you went to your friend's housewarming that evening. Untying your apron, Chenle came up to with the bowl, swiping the rest of the frosting onto his finger and holding it out for you. You gave him a fake glare, but still took his digit between your lips to lick the pink sweet off his finger. He smiled cockily, pressing down on your tongue and you had to make a choice. Do you bite him or play along? You recognized the look on his face, it had been there since you fed him the strawberry.

"Ow, you bit me!" He pulled his hand back rapidly, flapping it in the air and you giggled, taking the now empty bowl from him to put it in the sink. Trying not to giggle too much, you started to wash the rest of the dishes, feeling him come up behind you. You were expecting a hug and whining request, so you squeaked when one arm wrapped tight around your middle at your ribs. The other came over your chest, his hand pressing against your throat, thumb on your jaw. He held your head in place, mouth so close to your ear you could feel his breath fluttering your hair. He smirked at your instant stiffened posture, his hand at your jaw clenching a bit harder.

"You know that one strawberry really wasn't enough…" His tone was casual, but lower than his normal voice. Your mouth went dry, and you licked your lips, hands stilling. When he didn't do anything else, you shut the water off and dropped the dishes you were holding, then waited for his next move.

"Good girl~" Chenle chuckled, his normal cheerful giggle had lowered about two or three octaves.

"Le-"

"Who?"

"Chenle-!" His hand tightened again, pinky curling even tighter to press against your throat.

"Who?" He reiterated and you didn't reply, swallowing hard. Glancing at the clock you were worried if he did everything he normally did, you wouldn't have time to get ready.

"Please, sir. I need time to get ready-" His hum cut your sentence short, his lips vibrating from the noise as they pressed to the skin between your shoulder and neck. You instinctively, submissively, turned your head to the side to let him have better access.

"Maybe I shouldn't let you go? Then I can have you and the cake for myself…" You shivered as he kissed the skin lightly, his grip on your jaw contrasting with the gentle act. You would be really freaking pissed later if he did that, and you both knew that. Luckily for you, your phone started to ring, and he begrudgingly completely let you go, resting grumpily against the island as you grabbed your device.

"Come early?" You glanced at the clock on the oven again, then back to your boyfriend. He sneered but nodded, going pouty again.

"Yes. I will be there in thirty." You hung up and Chenle shuffled to the couch so he could angrily stare at the TV as if he was actually watching it. When you came out of your room in a cute little dress that looked like a big button up with a belt around the middle, he watched you dance around the kitchen getting the cake in a holder. It wasn't as cold as you would have liked, but it would do.

"Bye, Lele~" You gave him an air kiss as you left and he grumbled to himself, crossing his arms.

When you finally got back later that night, you smelled like booze, but you didn’t look like you had partaken.

"I need to change, this dress smells like chicken." You grumbled. Chenle was still on the couch, as if he hadn't moved at all in the last three hours. He had, but not much. The only difference you noticed was that he had a pillow in his lap he was hugging to his chest, but he was still pouting. When you reached the door to your room , you turned to face him, hand behind your back on the knob.

"I don't have to take this off by myself, right?" Your tone lilted playfully, and you giggled as he shut the TV off and got up so fast you were worried his socked feet would slip on the hard wood floor. He eagerly chased after you as you dashed into your room, squealing in delight when he easily lifted you up as he caught you.

"Ah, Le!" You gasped when he spun you as he lifted, slinging you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. When did he get that strong? He didn't do it very hard, but his hand smacked your butt after he flipped the skirt of your dress up. You squeaked and he huffed a laugh, practically throwing you onto the bed. His hand wraps around the belt of the middle of your dress, yanking you down to the end of the bed by it, the rapidly taking it off. He clatters on the floor as he throws it behind him, fingers undoing the buttons fast. He really wanted to just tear it open, hear the little pieces clack against the floor and wall as they fly off the garment. But he knew after you would not be too pleased with that. When it was all undone, he let the side flop open, revealing your nicest set of black lace lingerie.

"Fuck." Chenle groaned as you smirked yourself. You started to help him get the dress off, but once the first sleeve was off, he tugged on the fabric so hard it flipped you over onto your stomach.

"Chenle!" You tried to scold him as he rapidly removed the dress. To obedient to flip back over and watch, you heard him discard his own clothes, the garments thumping slightly as they hit the floor. You let out another yelp when his hands gripped your hips tight, hauling you back toward the end of the bed. You bring your legs down, so your feet touch the floor, already having an idea what he was doing. Your boyfriend was much more careful with your panties than your other garment, swiftly pulling them down and off. He chuckled when your body shivered as his fingers came to your soaking folds. His skin was cold, especially compared to your hot core. Your breath hitched when he immediately buried two fingers inside your cunt, all the way to the last knuckle. He loved the little mewls and whimpers you let you as he roughly wiggled his fingers, adding a third then pumping them hard against your back wall.

"Sir-" You tried to protest when his fingers left, but his hand came down hard on your ass. Your whine made his cock harden even further, the skin turning red in the shape of his hand.

"You left me hanging for hours, (Y/N)." He spoke derisively, "how many hours, hm?"

"Th-three."

"Then how many do you get?" He asked and you tried to do math quick. He liked to do an even number of spanks on each cheek, but six wasn't enough.

"T-twelve?"

"Hm…okay." His hand came down again on the opposite side and you squeaked.

"T-two." You had to think for a second, hoping your answer was right. Chenle didn't say anything in protest, laying another smack. Each time you let out a yipe, though the slick dripping from your cunt revealed how much you liked it.

"Twelve." You gasped out, legs twitching, the skin of your ass just as red as the strawberries you deprived him of. He wondered how red your cute pussy could get if he smacked it, but he wasn't going to just do it without asking you.

"S-sir, please~" Your request turned into a moan as his cock met your entrance and he slowly eased in. You couldn't see his smirk, but he licked his bottom lip and fucked the last inch of his cock in hard, his hips meeting your still stinging ass. You yelped, fingers digging into the bedding above your head, eyes nearly crossing at the delicious pain, not just from the stretch of his cock but your stinging butt. Chenle leaned forward over your back, chest pressed to your back, his mouth right by your ear. His fingers linked with yours and he nibbled the crest of your ear, letting you adjust some. He huffed, then rolled his hips hard, instantly pulling out nearly all the way then slamming home. Your walls fluttered and he chuckled as his next thrust threw your over the edge, your release coating not just his cock but the skin of his groin as well. He didn't let up as your orgasm rolled through you, continuing to relentlessly fuck his cock into you. He gripped your hands tighter, helping you get some leverage. It was good the bed was beneath you, holding you up, the pleasure wracking through you sapping all your strength. His right hand left yours, curling around and under your stomach, pulling your hips up. This forced you onto your tip toes but changed the angle and his cock got even deeper, the head battering your cervix as he picked up the pace. He loved the squeaks it eked out of you, and your cunt clenching his dick brought him closer to the edge as well. Chenle brought his finger to your clit, rubbing over it so you came again. You tried to milk him to completion as well, but he held back, and once yours had subsided, he pulled out and came all over your butt and lower back. You slumped down, shivering and he admired the sight. He would have that any day over even the most perfect strawberry.

🍉 Mark 🍉

🍇 Renjun 🍇

🍌 Jeno 🍌

🍒 Haechan 🍒

🍑 Jaemin 🍑

🍍 Jisung 🍍

Masterlist

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thecorvidcurio-if · 9 months

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For as long as you can remember, no one you've loved has ever lasted very long.

The moment you come to love someone, no matter the type of love, tragedy befalls you both. In a desperate attempt to escape this cycle you've been moving from place to place, uprooting any time you start getting too close. This new city shouldn't be any different. It wouldn't be any different, if not for your new neighbours.

The more time you spend around these bizarre people, the more obvious it becomes that there's a layer of reality you've previously been unaware of. As you discover more of what was previously hidden from you, though, it begs the question:

Is there something more to your tragic circumstances than an unfortunate run of bad luck? Could it be the result of some power you don't understand? If so, does that mean there's a way out of it?

Does that mean there's someone to blame for your suffering?

Or click here if the image link doesn't work.

PLEASE NOTE: This game is in very early development. Only the first two chapters are posted, the writing will be continuously revised as I write, and there may be bugs or glitches. If you run into any issues, please let me know.

Cursed Ambrosia is an interactive fiction novel that deals with topics of death, loss, and love. It's a supernatural fantasy with a focus on interpersonal connections. There are six relationship routes, two women, two men, and two non-binary options. All romance options will have a platonic route as well. More info on them under the cut.

Note: Though these characters are romanceable, you do not need to romance them to play out their routes. On the platonic route, you still get the same plot content, just minus the romantic bits.

Vicente - An exceedingly polite and seemingly put together man who values kindness and compassion, but struggles to accept those things himself. He's keen to look after others and encourage them to accept help, yet insists on handling his own troubles alone.

Abby - An overwhelmingly enthusiastic and eccentric "person" who values curiosity and freedom, but struggles with moderation. He has more energy than he or anyone else knows what to do with. He's got a talent for mischief and is incapable of going very long without causing trouble, intentionally or not.

Kaida - A bitterly jaded and taciturn fellow who values knowledge and secrecy, but struggles to trust others. He's always many steps ahead of everyone else, and always knows more than he lets on. He's someone very useful to know... Or, he would be, if anyone could get a straight answer from him about anything.

Marina - An unapologetically loud and rambunctious woman who values rebellion and individuality, but struggles to let her guard down. She's brilliant, but easily bored. If you tell her she can't or shouldn't do something, it's just about guaranteed she'll be doing that thing in the near future.

Thea - A theatrically elegant and captivating woman who values loyalty and honesty above all else. On the job she's glamorous and confident, captivating any who hear her hypnotic voice. Off the job, though, she's something much different, and hopes to find someone who can appreciate both sides of her.

Shiloh - A cripplingly shy and skittish entity of uncertain origin who values privacy and comfort, but struggles to leave the safety of what it knows. Shiloh enjoys observing others interacting, and lives vicariously through witnessing the connections other people form with each other. It is quite sure that it will never manage to make such connections itself.

#cursed ambrosia #cursed ambrosia if #cursed ambrosia interactive fiction #shiny new post for shiny new blog #now with pictures

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lesbiandanhowell · 4 months

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Sam reacts to: Dan and Phil React to Every Phil is not on fire! #2

I am not ready for this in the slightest but here we go

- Why THAT clip from pinof, they made fun of it the whole time in the first video yet they keep coming back to it.

- I still have a sharpie in my drawer...

- The way they continue the dressing alike theme it is so cute, and Dan asking how Phil still has the same shirt when he literally is wearing the exact same mhmh sure.

- WHY AM I SO AFRAID OF PINOF 4

- "because you're 12" They have always known their audience a little too much, like they know that now we're all adults and gay back then they knew we were all just teens.

- I am sobbing with laughter 3 minutes in AND JUST NOTICED IT IT IS 32 MINUTES LONG.

- STOP DAN YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO CALL ME OUT LIKE THIS. I am the number one person that points out little giggles after cuts this is LITERALLY a personal attack. I have done this for almost every single gamingmas video so sadly this is not a call out for past me but very much attacking me right now.

- THE AMOUNT OF ATTACKS IN THIS. Phil making fun of the nose smudge, like they just are coming for us left and right holy shit

- Tumblr mention, Dan if you don't want to see us be obnoxious about you guys touching then don't come on tumblr, let us be weird in peace.

- LMAO THE SUNDAY TIMES TRAUMA FOR DAN

- I am literally crying 11 minutes in and I am kind of glad they just didn't mention the 2012 trauma because I don't think I could go through talking about it.

- Dan reblogging this video but not any other recent gaming video... He's got priorities and it is calling us tf out, I see how it is.

- PHIL TALKING ABOUT THE BEDSHEETS AND JUST TALKING HIMSELF INTO A HOLE. Like I would have thought he meant Sharpie getting on it but he just fully went there and made it sound sexual.

- They keep making fun of us and then they keep doing the neck touch thing and like HOW ARE WE MEANT TO NOT LOSE OUR MINDS.

- "I think the vibes are better in this one" Yes, 2013 PINOF will always be better because 2012 was traumatic in ways we don't talk about.

- "Oh your tongue action there Dan" PHIL WHAT THE FUCK MAN

- Not them leaving out any kind of reaction to the "you are [special]", it would have been too real.

- Dan with the peach emoji for phils bum what

- THE LIZARD DUET AND THE WAY PHIL LOOKS AT DAN FUCK YOU AND FUCK YOU. Genuinely how do you expect me not to comment on that, I am lonely and single and living vicariously through you being sappy.

- The fuck did Dan say to make Phil laugh and me sob with laughter like it was so funny even tho I have no idea what he said. Dan doing a little squeak when he laughs is adorable, like at the very end.

- Phil I will literally fight you if you keep doing an impression of us going they are touching like fuck you let us have some peace. (I won't actually, we deserve this)

- The way Phil looks ACTUALLY sad when Dan explains that the existential crisis branding was just him suffering in silence, now we know this but back then it just seemed funny :(

- The fact they put themselves on the same level as Doctor Who and Sherlock is insane but so real, like they really were.

- NOT THE CATBOY MENTION AGAIN I LITERALLY ALMOST DROPPED MY FAVOURITE MUG. I wish this was a joke but I had such a visceral reaction I almost pulled my favourite mug off my desk.

- THEY PLAYED POPPY AT 4AM WHAT. They have only learned so much since then have they.

This send me places I didn't know I could experience and Dan saying to expect the next one in the next few weeks scares me that it won't be during Gamingmas anymore.

Check #sam reacts for posts about all videos and see you tomorrow!

#dan and phil #amazingphil #daniel howell #phan #gaymingmas #Dan and Phil React to Every Phil is not on fire!#sam reacts

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facets-and-rainbows · 4 months

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Blue Exorcist 147 summary

The official translation is delayed relative to the raws this month so I get to paraphrase a chapter just like old times! The nostalgia!

Fairly detailed spoilers and no images:

Asmodeus goes on about how Shura is full of contradictions (young but also somehow aged, cold like ice but with a burning passion, full of life but death has always been close by) and says she's his type (ewwwww) Shura says Asmodeus is not her type, sorry, and shoots him full of icicles XD He tells her to go deeper with it (eeeewwwwwwwww), the pain makes him feel alive

Rin and Yukio have another round of "BUT SHURA!" "BUT THE WHOLE MISSION!" and the mission wins out They safely make it to the door with the rest of the team, but the door won't open normally so we've got some kind of RPG style door puzzle on our hands Yukio sees the L (probably Left) and R (probably right) on the doors but that doesn't explain THAT MESSED UP LITTLE DISPLAY OVER THERE So the real question is what on EARTH does the bleeding corpse suspended over a meat grinder with the inscription "VL" mean Yukio and Neuhaus together wonder if the V is roman numeral 5 and 5L means you have to give it five liters of blood (one person's worth) to open it They get as far as wondering if you could just borrow like a freshly dead corpse from the battlefield, (they're not using their blood anymore, does it HAVE to be fresh?) before Rin is like….yeah we could take a look at the whole thing from above first though? Heh I think Rin is using fire to burn some footholds as he and Yukio climb? (Edit: wait I'm dumb it's Satan's fire, I already forgot that the walls burn you when you try to climb them lol) Yukio showed off his fireproofness and Rin was all impressed and Yukio very nearly almost smiled

MEANWHILE Amon is struggling with Osceola more than he thought In fact, the fight has damaged/destroyed his emerald ring! His 10.8 carat emerald ring!! Tragic He stomps on Osceola brutally while yelling THAT WAS WORTH MORE THAN YOUR DUMB HUMAN LIFE and OH JESUS IS THAT A DISEMBODIED ARM My Concern For Osceola Gauge just spiked again guys Katoh please he's two days from retirement!! Amon decides screw it, he's just gonna blow everything up at this point. Apparently being a sun god comes with the ability to go supernova and be reborn later (Huh! The sun disk over his head is his demon heart! and he's able to shatter it and have it reform) It'll take like ten minutes for this drama man to do his drama thing so let's cut back to the kids

Rin and Yukio find that the door leads to a bottomless pit even if you DO get it open So what gives? L might be "left" but what's the V? Rin observes that there's some patterns/symbols/something on the ground. Yukio recognizes them as Indo-Arabic numerals. V is 7. So I guess the seventh symbol on the left is the real door. They go there and find a little hidden entrance. No blood sacrifice required! The weird meat machine is a gross red herring! I feel like this is a lil jab at the first anime ending XD

On the way to bring everyone to the entrance, we run into This Asshole Again ("BUT SHURA!" "BUT THE WHOLE MISSION!") Asmodeus says that it's a pretty sweet gig, being a demon of his or Amon's level. Easy to find hosts and they don't disintegrate too fast. But BECAUSE of that, you don't REALLY get to feel alive (He shoots nasty energy beams at the kids and Shura defends them as he's saying this) Asmodeus says that pain and fear and despair are all proof that you're alive! And he can live vicariously through Shura by making her feel these things! Ew!

Cliffhanger on him winding up to kill someone or other in front of an exhausted Shura, while Osceola tries to stand up Osceola is just absolutely maxing out my Concern For Osceola Gauge in that last panel. Concern levels are off the charts here

#blue exorcist #ao no exorcist #blue exorcist spoilers #ao no exorcist spoilers #THE CONCERN

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juicefield · 1 year

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Meyp Skxawng Neteyam X Avatar!Reader: Part 1

A/N: I included the epilogue in this post so I could just delete the last post. Neteyam is 20 in this and there will be no NSFW content in this fic. It is not set in the far future as I reference bits of culture from the 2000s (mostly because this fic is essentially about culture, Na'vi and human and how they clash with each other and unfortunately I don't know about human culture in 2170 so I just used stuff from our time). Also this is set in high camp. I love the Metkayina, but I've always loved the forests of Pandora since I was young.

Although the writing in this fanfiction is my own, I do not claim any ownership of Avatar, Avatar: The Way of Water, or any of the subsequent medias. All rights go to James Cameron and the producers.

You can find the other parts here:

Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4

Synopsis: Today is your twentieth birthday on Pandora. You look back on your life in reflection as you think about the future and your place on her.

Neteyam X Fem!Avatar!Reader 6.6k 1st person POV

The Na'vi say that every person is born twice. The second time is when you earn your place among The People... forever.

A tired yet youthful Jake Sully, now known as Jake Tsyeyk te Suli or the mighty Toruk Makto, droned on from the blue tinted computer screen staring back at me. Once again, I found myself watching the videos he left behind. I know I shouldn't torture myself, that this fantasy I've had since I was a child was nothing but that... just a fantasy. I could never get the second chance he got all those years ago. I’ve spent years living vicariously through him and his video logs; imagining that I had become one with The People like him. I knew it was childish, but that certainly didn't stop me from dreaming about it.

The more I watched his videos, and Grace's videos, the more I longed to see this world that I find myself stuck in. That mystical magical world that was closed off from me, just outside, so close yet so far. However, I couldn't be like Spider, my strange adopted "semi-sibling" and run around like a chicken with its head cut off (this was a line straight from Norm, as I have never even eaten chicken let alone seen one), awkward and slow next to the lithe natives. I fiddled with a small puzzle Norm had brought from the old world as I listened to Jake's voice. It was a rare treat and one of the things I had as a child that was almost like a toy. Of course at this point I knew how to solve it faster than I could blink practically. As I sit there and continuously slide the locking mechanism in and out I become briefly distracted from the monitor as I feel the ridges of the plastic puzzle. It felt weird to have the thought that Spider was my brother. He certainly never acted like he cared about me much, always opting to hang with the Sullys. However, I know that he feels a certain camaraderie with me due to our similar afflictions. The affliction in question being our shared blood, vrrtep reypay, or "demom blood" flows through both of us. Unlike Spider, however, there was something that afflicted me and me alone in this new world.

The sickness. Norm and Max weren’t sure what it was, but they knew for certain it was some sort of genetic thing. Some thing that my parents had carried in both of them. "Thing". It was easier to call it a thing, easier for me to compartmentalize that way. Easier to tuck away the pain and suffering in a neat corner of my mind. It affected me in different ways. From my joints to my stomach to my legs, my body was simply weak. Back when I was willing to try reaching out to the other children, Na'vi children, I would always get made fun of for being a weak human, so once my legs started to give out on me at the age of 8 I officially swore off having "friends".

"Meyp skxawng." A little girl muttered under her breath after my legs gave out while splashing in a pool in the cave system. Her name was Txeyu. She was one of the Na'vi that lived the closest to the labs in the back of the cave system, also about one of three friends that I had besides Norm and Max. She was one of the only Na'vi children that would hang around me, but as my legs worsened I could feel her getting agitated everytime I couldn’t keep up as we played.

"Sorry," The apology that exited my mouth was out before I could even stop to think what I actually did wrong. Pulling myself up from the awkward position I was in after I had slipped and fallen to the floor I continued. "Sometimes my legs don't work so well… I mean, even for a human." The last word came out strained like if I said it loudly then everyone would suddenly realize I was an alien and demand to throw me out of camp. I knew of course that humans had the protection of Jake Sully. Realistically that could never happen, but many of the Na'vi were not accepting of our place in the clan. It had been long ago that I learned shame for being human but I remember this memory as the time I learned to be ashamed of being disabled. When I looked up there was this distinct look on the Na'vi's face. A strange mix of pity and disgust that left a pit in my stomach. The slope of her eyes and the curl of her lip are often in my dreams, haunting me. I will never forget them from that day. With tears stinging my eyes I politely excused myself and threw myself into Norm’s arms as soon as I found him. Even though I hadn't known what the words at the time meant I knew exactly what her face had meant. I was a blubbering mess and after that I wasn't allowed to play with Txeyu (or at least Norm had told me that, for my peace of mind so I wouldn’t seek her out) and I swore that I didn't need friends.

To be fair to Txeyu, I was a weak moron. Confirmed by not only my weak body, but also my inability to stop watching the videos that the two most revered sky people had left behind. Grace was my source of entertainment since I was a child because the humans were not concerned with bringing old world media with them to Pandora. Mostly because coming to Pandora they had not thought of babies being born in the new world, had not thought of the culture left behind. Had not thought of the difficulty these children would have with their identity, knowing almost nothing of the new world or the old. Many people had brought things with them but most cultural items had been taken by the sky people when they left. And yes, Norm and Max told me all about Earth and about movies and music and art along with the small amount of stuff they could recover from the old lab but it was nothing, nothing, compared to the real thing. To have a sense of community with people who have shared experiences, to have people that you belong to. The very thing that makes people human, or maybe not human, but the thing that is important to all life that holds empathy.

Empathy. That, I thought, was the similarity humans had with the Na'vi. They both had empathy. What separated them, however, was more important... greed, yes, the humans were greedy despite their sympathy. I had learned as a girl that the two were not exclusive. I knew it was true in the way I wished to be Jake, in the way I longed for a world I didn't belong to. Knew that even I, a human that can hardly be called human, is not spared from this defining characteristic of greed. Unfortunately I would never get a second chance, another body, like Jake did.

I accepted this fact when I was a mere twelve years old, a particularly hard year for me. I started my menstruation cycle with only Norm and Max to comfort me. There were other women at the base, but none close enough to me for me to celebrate in the joy of womanhood. I would have turned to Kiri, but luckily for her she doesn’t have an aunt flow, like all Na'vi. What a lucky bitch. I had started bleeding and had been in the bathroom panic stricken because my first thought was that the sickness was getting worse, that the pain I felt was finally going to bleed me out and kill me. As I silently wept I accidentally knocked over the trash bin in my room. Norm had come to the door, knocking softly thrice he announced himself.

"Hey... you good in there? You've been in there a while and I heard something fall." Hot tears were stinging my eyes and I was breathing heavily, like there was a giant boulder on my chest. Hey, maybe this was one of those panic attacks I read about in the encyclopedias of Medicine and Psychology I had read? I had always been a curious child, learning as much as I could to stave off boredom. There had been a few precious fiction books left behind by the scientists before I. Please dear Eywa (I had felt embarrassed at the time to ask Eywa for help), please help me remember that boring book I prayed all while frantically trying to calm down enough for the memory to surface. Breathe. I had to breathe in and out. I've got this, I mean I'm totally dying, but I've definitely got a handle on this. Compartmentalize. Yes, I distinctly remember the book talking about breathing and slow breaths from the diaphragm, for sure, definitely... Just as I finally started to get a grip and calm down Norm knocked again.

"Come on, seriously you're freaking me out here." Well shit. I didn't get it together fast enough. I gathered myself as best I could, focusing on the cool steel below my fingertips.

"Norm, I think I might be dying." I said trying to project my tired and scared voice through the bathroom door.

"WHAT? OH MY GOD. Shit... shit! What's wrong? What do you mean? Let me in. Please, open the door." I could hear the panic laced in his voice. The handle on the door rattled as Norm tried to enter the bathroom.

"Stop!" I commanded "Hold on. I'm-I'm bleeding."

"Oh sweet Jesus open the door." Norm said and the door handle rattled so hard that I thought the lanky scientist might break it.

"It's... coming from down there. Don't come in, it's embarrassing!" I lamented. The quiver in my voice made Norm immediately understand.

"Oh... sweetheart that's not... um, you're, uh, not going to die. Just... clean yourself up in the bath. I'll get you clothes and then me and Max need to have a talk with you." I tilted my head at that, a million questions running through my mind. Did he know what was going on? Why did he seem so relieved? This was horrible! But, I did as was told and waited outside, fidgeting nervously.

And that my friends, is the story of my very first lesson from Norm and Max about the wonders of womanhood. Oh what a joy it was. Of course, they had been severely awkward with it. Max was slightly better, mostly because he had had sisters back on Earth so he actually knew how to use a pad. Ah pads, I think wistfully. I remember them. They were absolutely wonderful. Of course they all ran out by the time I was fifteen. Nowadays I use reusable cotton pads. Not bad, but they were a pain in the ass to make and I always seemed to lose them in the wash. Luckily, Norm is a softie, so I often convince him to help me make them with the promise of my special pancakes made from wheat bread ration. Of course, I'd always been able to get Norm to practically do anything. Partly because of my sickness and the fact that I was his little girl helped. All I had to do was say I was having a bad day and give him the eyes and bingo, my lovely full day of pad making was now cut in half. Success! Max, however, is not as easily swayed; he had always been the more logical and sensible one. I later asked them why they hadn't warned me in advance about periods. I remember laughing when Norm bashfully rubbed his neck and admitted that they simply hadn't thought about it before now.

That was how it has always been. Max was the voice of reason, the one who reminds me to eat when I need to and reminds Norm that I am stronger than I look. I appreciate him more than I even thought possible. Norm was more of the doting type, almost motherly in his spoiling of me. Always letting me a little further, a little longer than necessary in the few times that I was able to take an oxygen mask and run around by the cave as a young kid. Between the two of them I was in good hands. My mother wouldn't have left me with them when she died if they weren't worthy. And so I became their daughter. I don't call either of them dad or father or anything like that but I know that they’re my parents. I love them so, so dearly. Even when Norm ate the last chocolate bar when I was eight. Incidentally this was not long after the Txeyu situation, eight was a hard year too! A portal to hell opened in the lab that day; my sobbing was louder than the banshees on the Hallelujah mountains.

I sigh and sit the puzzle down on my desk. This was my reality lately. All I seemed to be able to do was think about the past. Perhaps because I finally realized I have no future here. There was nothing for me here, nothing except Max and Norm (and Jake, I suppose, but his visits were few and far between and he always seemed a little uncomfortable around me). When they're gone I would have nothing, be nothing. I mean sure I had friends, two to be exact, and one very annoying close acquaintance. Kiri and Tuk were the former and Lo'ak was the latter. He had recently been demoted from best friend status after breaking one of my only CDs (of course jazz CDs were some of the only music to be left behind when everyone left), even after I had told him to be careful with it when putting it in the player.

The Suli children were the only link I had to the outside world at this point. They had become my friends purely by accident. It happened when Jake was coming to visit Norm and Max to discuss a raid. Lo'ak and Kiri had followed him, no doubt a scheme cooked up by Lo'ak and of course Kiri went along with it. They had been curious where their father ran off to every few weeks despite their mother looking irritated every time he left, promising her that it wouldn’t be long and that he'd be home before dinner. Neteyam had tried to stop them but they lost him by the retired elders hut, slipping away when he wasn't paying them express attention and was answering a question about his training posed by a well-respected elder.

On that fateful day I had actually been outside the caves for once, with Norm watching me from afar to make sure my mask was on and I was walking well enough on my own. I remember looking up at Jake, smiling, and saying hello to the friendly giant (hey, he was friendly to me). He greeted me in english then headed for the door. Behind the bushes near the cave entrance were two meddlesome ten year olds with their jaws practically on the floor. They had never seen a sky person that was so small except Spider, they guessed I must be a child too!

"Lo'ak look! I didn't know that any sky people children live here besides Spider." Kiri said, pointing to my small figure that was about fifteen meters away from them, oblivious to the eyes watching me as I picked a small bouquet of wild flowers to put in my room.

"Yeah. But, what the hell is wrong with her legs??" Lo'ak said loudly before Kiri elbowed him in the gut. I had heard his voice that time, strange and in a language I didn't understand yet so I stood quickly as panic set in.

"Hello? Who is there? Jake Sully is here, so you can't hurt me! He's Toruk Makto and he'll protect me!" I called out to them as the flower I was holding fell down at my side. Kiri and Lo'ak simply looked at each other, astonished that I was speaking at all, but especially since I knew their father’s title.

"Hello." I heard a deeply accented voice respond back to me in english. My eyebrows shot up when I heard it. I knew right away that it was coming from a Na'vi child. The accent was unmistakably inhuman. Not to say it was bad sounding, in fact I had always found the native accent to be beautiful. It was just different than the way humans spoke.

"Um.... who are you? Can you come out now? You're scaring me." I said to the bush that was now in front of me. I made my way over to them while they argued about whether it was a good idea to come out or not. I watched as a blue head popped out from behind the bush. I couldn't help the gasp that came out of my mouth at the sight of a little boy around my age.

"I am Kiri and this is Lo'ak." Kiri responded to me as she came fully out of the bush from behind Lo’ak, a hand wrapped around Lo'ak's forearm pulling him along. "Jake Suli is our father." My eyes widened in surprise as I suddenly felt embarrassed to have used Jake as a threat. I made my way over to them slowly, wincing when my ankle twisted slightly to the right.

"Oh... uh-hi. My name is (Y/N). Mr. Sully told me about you... I met Kiri before but we were both babies, right after she came out of Grace… so I don't remember, I'm sorry!" I was completely unsure of what to say. Goddamnit why did I have to mention Grace? The only company I ever kept were Norm and Max with the occasional visit from the other sky people and the scarily limited friends I had as a toddler and young child. I knew, of course, through Grace's videos and Norms education of the Na'vi (specifically the Omaticayans) to be respectful in my language and not to use figures of speech.

"The Na'vi have an extraordinary understanding of the English language already. They learn faster than my team can seem to teach them. Fortunately for them, our pronunciation is a lot less important than their language. Unfortunately for us that means a lot more of them understand us then the other way around. The only way to talk in secret around them is to use figures of speech. Unfortunately they may find this rather offensive if they call you out on it, especially when you accidentally call one of the clans best a brown noser. God, I had a hell of a time explaining that one to them." I remember that video log with great fondness. I had only watched it a week prior for the first time after Norm finally gave approval for me to watch some of the video logs that were more personal to Grace, rather than the usual educational ones (also the ones in which she was drunk). The new blue people in front of me just stared at me with wide eyes. They could not believe I was being so bold for such a tiny thing. Finally the girl shifted and flicked her brother with her tail, breaking him out of the trance he was in.

"Well... do you wanna play with us?" Was the only thing Lo'ak could think of to say. I shifted nervously. I hadn't played with any Na’vi since the incident with Txeyu. As I picked nervously at the dirt under my nails I let out a short sigh.

"I'm not allowed to play with you guys I think?" It came out as more of a question than a statement. These were Jake's kids, so maybe Norm would be fine with it? Plus, I noticed as they both deflated and started fidgeting with their jewelry and hair that they have hands like Norms avatar body, so that means they're like me! They also have demon blood, so they could understand me, maybe. Just as they turned around to leave after waving goodbye I called out to them.

"Actually, I think Max and Norm would be okay. If it's Jake's kids. He's a good guy so you guys must be too!" I cringe remembering my naivety. Luckily I was correct, they were "good guys"... and we have been good friends for years now… except when they break my things! I sighed and walked over to the mangled remains of my precious jazz CD. I had already tried gluing the pieces back together. CDs really didn't work that way though, so I tried recording myself singing the songs but I could never sing the way the woman on the CD did so eventually I just gave up. Luckily this gave me the genius idea to record all the remaining CDs I had in case another unfortunate alien boy decided to jam a damn disk into the computer halfway before closing it and breaking it in half!

As I flopped down onto the chair beside my desk I played Beethoven's String Quartet no. 14, 1st Movement to try to quiet my mind. I know from Norm and Max that classical music was one of the least popular genres from Earth but I always had a fascination with it. Not that there was really a choice when I had 5 CDs to my name. Crap. 4 CDs to my name. Beethoven's greatest symphonies, Etta James's At Last (previously, Rest In Peace Etta), Metallica's Black album or 5th album (I wasn't as much of a fan now, but I had some really cathartic times with that album when I was an angsty 13 year old), a burned CD titled "2005 Car Mix" with a variety of pop songs, and a guided sleep meditation music CD (I had never gotten bored enough to actually sit down and attempt to meditate with it) were the musical companions in my life.

The only exception were occasions when the clan had a large festival or feast and I could hear the sounds of the Omaticayans singing and chanting. Those were always my favorite nights. I would often sit and weave something while I listened to hundreds of voices commune with Eywa, to celebrate a new life or one just ending. That’s one of the only past times I have that I really enjoy. Sometimes I even hum along, pretending that I was a member of the clan. I could almost smell the earthen musk that always clung to every Na'vi. Like they were really one with the forest, as if they were born of the forest. They were so natural in it, just as natural as a fish in the water. As I hum I feel the tickle of a tail brushing against my back and the heat radiating from the thighs of the two Na'vi on either side of me. A brief peace floods into my body, relaxing my muscles one by one before I remember who I am and where I am. I remember again that I was born a human on Pandora, and the dream is broken. That fantasy is not me, no matter how much I wish it so.

I should really stop torturing myself like this. The only thing fantasizing does is fester and ferment into anger. Anger at my mother, maybe? I mean she did pass on the thing to me. Maybe at Eywa? Do I even believe in Eywa? Sometimes I swear I feel her all around me, in the plants waving in the winds or the sounds of the cave. In the dripping water and wind rushing past the mouth of the cave, dancing through the hallelujah mountains. I hear her in the banshees shrill cries at dawn, and the thanators mighty roar at twilight. Do I even have the right to believe in her? To be angry at the hand dealt to me? By being born on Pandora, does that mean that Eywa is in control of my destiny like her Na'vi children? Am I one of her children?

I ponder this as I weave on the loom that Kiri gave to me last year for my nineteenth birthday. She brings me plenty of string and teaches me new techniques every moon cycle on our ritual ‘girls night’. Although honestly she might get in trouble if anyone finds out about that. A lot of Na'vi wouldn't appreciate a sky person knowing cultural weaving techniques that have been passed down for generations through the Omaticayans: who are known as great craftsmen. My girl Kiri is a total badass though, so she still teaches me anyway.

Kiri, Tuk, Lo'ak are the only reasons I haven't gone verifiably insane yet as I waste away on this planet. As much as I love Max and Norm, their company doesn't ever change much. There's never anything new going on with human settlement. Always the same issues that we discuss over dry, flavorless ration food. The problems of growing food in the Pandoran soil, which may be lush and fertile for the home plant species, but is absolutely terrible for Earth plants. Always some new trouble that Spider had gotten into with Lo’ak. We are always having trouble with having enough batteries for the tanks to furnish all the humans with oxygen. Yet another reason why I don't go outside. I'm a waste of resources and while Max and Norm can't admit that, I can. I know I'm useless, honestly I wish that I could be of help in even the science realm but hello, there's no school on Pandora and both Max and Norm are horrible teachers. I mean I'm smart but I cannot figure out fucking geometry on my own?! Plus the other humans didn't leave behind any lesson plans for children when they left so I'm pretty much S.O.L.

I’m pulling a soft blue, almost feathery string through another row on the loom when I hear Max and Norm talking outside of my room in the main lab. I strain my ears but I cannot make much sense of the words I can hear.

"Jake doesn't know.... yeah... ready... think... okay jeez, Max." Eh, nothing to really worry about, I decide. Probably the same old shit in a different toilet. I tune out their talking and focus on the crescendo of one of Mozart's greatest hits before almost dropping the loom when I hear a sharp knock on the door. I get up and turn to press the pause button on the CD player before opening the door. Standing there is a very excited looking Max and a very nervous looking Norm.

"Oh my God, what is it this time?" I said recollecting a time when I had opened the very same door to them looking very similar to this moment and they had practically accused me of having a crush on Lo'ak. As if! I would never have a crush on Lo'ak. He's like an annoying little brother to me and he's always hiding my stuff just to irritate me or pulling a single hair out one at a time till I yell at him to stop. But I think that may be the reason that we get along so well, he doesn’t see me as different like everyone else does. He has always teased and roughhoused with me like he would Kiri or Spider, albeit a bit gentler.

"Hey kiddo, we just wanted to wish you a Happy Birthday. We know you're finally 20! You're a grown woman now..." Norm trailed off looking wistful. Max took up after Norm, who was reminiscing like a parent would on their child’s birthday.

"And we have something to show you! Something we have been working on for a long time now." He threw an arm around Norm to emphasize the we.

"Did you get the Rewon Tanhì that I asked for?" I asked excitedly. I had been asking them to find me a morning star flower on their expeditions and missions since I heard of them a few months ago. Kiri told me they glow in the dark even after being cut from the bush, an indigo bioluminescent glow that never fades. They're fairly rare so Max said they would keep an eye out but to not count on them finding one. I planned on an open air terrarium to use as a night light if they ever happened upon one while they were out doing research. I just wanted to bring a little of Pandora's beautiful bioluminescent night flora to me since I can’t go outside to see them myself.

"It's something a bit more exciting than that. Come on, follow us, kiddo." Max said before grabbing my wrist and pulling me forward toward the back of the lab. He seemed a little too excited and I almost tripped forward with the force of his pulling. I laughed and told him to slow down a little bit.

"Sorry, it's just been really difficult to keep this under wraps. You have no idea how many times I almost told you. Honestly, I'm surprised Norm hasn't." Max said, chuckling as Norm exclaimed an indignant "Hey!" while shaking his head fondly.

We reached the back door of the lab that went to the actual laboratory, of which I am typically not allowed into. I'm generally very clumsy because of my issues and Max is always doing some sort of dangerous chemistry experiment that would cause some serious damage if I knocked it over. Maybe even an explosion if the right compounds are left laying around. While that might bring me some much needed excitement to my life, I still opt to just leave the lab alone.

"It's in the chem lab?" I asked, entirely confused as to what I could possibly want to see in there. It was the most boring room in the whole building.

"Yes. And you need to close your eyes. I want it to be a complete surprise." Norm said, looking over at Max while wiggling his eyebrows like a total goof.

"Okaaaay...." I said, finding their strange demeanor highly suspicious. I closed my eyes and felt Max's large hand on my shoulder, guiding me. I could feel the warmth of it seeping into my skin as Norm, presumably, opened the door to the chem lab. The shrill shriek of ungreased steel grinding on steel was heard in the chem lab and the rustle of thick canvas-like fabric made me shift my weight to my other foot anxiously.

"Okay... come on in guys." Norm says as Max guides me in the room, making sure I don't trip as I step over the raised door frame. I was taken about 10 feet into the lab before Norm told me I could open my eyes. I blinked slowly as my eyes adjusted to the sterile white lab lights. I could only cock an eyebrow, unimpressed as my eyes land on what looks like a large tube covered in a large brown tarp of some sort. The tube had to be at least ten feet long. I looked over at Norm expectantly and a flash of recognition came on his face as he stumbled forward to pull off the tarp.

"Sorry..." he mumbled while lifting the heavy fabric off the large tube. Inside the tube is a female Na'vi. No actually, I count 5 fingers, so it’s an avatar. She was jerking and I could see her nose twitch, like she had smelled the acrid dung of a viperwolf. I realized it bared a strong resemblance to my own as I reached out to touch the glass. When I did she curled forward slightly toward my touch, almost as if she was reaching out to me as well. As she stretched out of the fetal position I saw her whole face and my world stopped.

"No... there's no way. You guys said there was no way." I whispered looking over at Max and Norm. I couldn't allow myself to believe it until they told me through their own mouths. I had gotten my hopes crushed too many times as a child to allow myself to believe this so easily.

"Well, remember when Grace's Avatar started deteriorating when you were thirteen? And then when you were fourteen we laid her to rest? Well using her chamber and some supplies we found at an abandoned outpost we were actually able to incubate an avatar for you. That's you sweetheart." Norm said, grinning at me and gesturing to the body.

I feel my knees tremble and buckle as a litany of emotions surges through me, falling forward slightly before Max caught me and helped me up. All I could do was bury my head in his shoulder and cry. These men, who loved me and raised me, have given me the gift of life again. I couldn't breathe so I just squeezed him and shook as the emotions and fears flew through me. I could vaguely register Norm coming up behind me to hug both of us. After a good cathartic cry we all released each other from our group hug.

"I... I don't know how... I can't... thank you, both of you." Was all I could manage to get out as my voice trembled with emotion. Hesitantly I walked over to the avatar. "She's... beautiful." I reached out to touch the warm glass, tracing my fingers over her face. Well, I guess my face? I guess it will feel more like my face after the consciousness transfer. Her blue skin looks so radiant and soft. Unlike the Na'vi I know she looks so untouched. Almost like a child. She is free of the scarring that comes with growing up in the dangerous Pandoran forests. I admire the markings on her face, taking in all the details and tanhì, or bioluminescent freckles that spray across her face and body. Her hair floats in the blue solution cascading in waves down the gentle slope of her back all the way to her tail.

"We know. Trust me, we know how much you need this. How much you've needed this since you were a kid... and yes she really is beautiful." Norm compliments, squeezing my shoulder.

"Now, I have to say this before you get your hopes up. We have great hope that the consciousness transfer will work, but kiddo, there's a small possibility that it might not and I need to prepare you for that." Max says solemnly from my right side. That was just like him, always ruining a sentimental moment with his warnings.

"I know, Max. But still, the fact that you wasted all these resources on me means a lot." I said, leaning my head on his shoulder.

"It's not a waste. Don't… don’t say that, (Y/N). We would both do anything to make you happy." Max replies, looking over at Norm as he nods to me.

"So when can I go in?" I said as I finally let the excitement fill me. It was so strong that my stomach feels queasy; to the point that I feel I might throw up my wheat ration pancakes.

"Well," Norm piped up, "we were thinking about doing a test run tomorrow. Kiri and Lo'ak are supposed to come anyway for movie night. We thought you'd like to surprise them." I nodded excitedly while smiling at them. I truly loved these two men. They were the closest things I had to parents and I'm so grateful that mom left me in their care. My chest feels so warm as I give both of them another short hug that I think it might explode out of me in a spray of rainbows and sugar. Honestly, all this lovey dovey shit was getting sickening.

"Now let's go have some birthday food." Norm suggests while he unfolds the tarp to cover it up again. We went and ate our traditional birthday barbecue (not really because it's not cooked on a grill but we have lots of blow torches for sciencey reasons that we use to cook it). It's a decadent meal that could only be spared a few times a year, and one of my absolute favorites. After that they sang me Happy Birthday, and all-mighty Eywa was it super off-key. Soon after that I bid them a goodnight so that I can go to bed early so tomorrow will come a little faster. As I lie in bed all I can think of is tomorrow morning and the possibility of being unable to establish a neural link.

Due to my anxiety-induced insomnia morning approaches slower than I thought physically possible. Did the suns somehow get delayed rising? Because I swear I've been in bed for two days tossing and turning. Just as I'm about to flip my pillow to the cool side for the fortieth time I hear a gentle knock on my door.

"Hey, kiddo, it's time to get up. Figured you wouldn't mind an early start today." Max called through the door from the other side. Exhausted, I roll over and heave myself off the bed to get dressed. It takes me a little more time than usual but I finally put on some clothes and bumble out of my bedroom door.

"Wow. So, no sleep huh?" Norm teases as he looks up from cooking breakfast.

"Yeah, no. Too excited." I respond, rolling my eyes at him dramatically. I keep glancing at the chem lab door while I impatiently watch him cook and Max notices.

"You have to eat first. It's not ideal that you're tired for your first transfer but it would honestly be way worse if you were hungry too. So. Eat." Max demands pointedly. I sigh as Norm puts a plate down in front of me. I feel my skin buzzing while I eat the breakfast I have thousands of times faster than I ever have before. I almost choke shoveling down the eggs and veggies.

"Hey slow down. Can't have you dying on us before you can actually try." Max says jokingly. Norm pushes him with his arm.

"Max, don't say that. That's not funny." Norm huffs, giving Max the stink eye.

"Yeah, yeah." Max replies and I drift away from their bickering as I wait for them to finish breakfast. After we all finish Max goes through a few rules for the transfer and Norm helps me into one of the weird jelly beds used for transfers. He places the wire caging around me and turns away before I grab his shirt and tug on it through the holes of the cage.

"Norm.. Max... I'm scared." I admit.

"I know. But, you have to be brave. I know you can do it." Max said and Norm added a "Yeah, me too." I released his shirt slowly and sighed.

"I know... okay I'm ready." I say and try to relax. As I hear Max flip a few switches and Norm closes the lid I could cuss myself out. Why didn't I try that meditation CD last night?! I think as I try to steady my breathing like Max told me to. As I breathe in I see the flashes of light from the machine. Okay, ‘breathe and count backwards from 20 if you need help’ is what Max advised at breakfast.

In. Twenty.

Out. Nineteen.

In. Eighteen.

Out. Seventeen.

In. Sixteen.

Out. Fifteen.

In. Fourteen.

Just as I am about to call out to Max that it's not working I completely black out. I'm not exactly sure how to describe the experience of a consciousness transfer, how it feels or looks. I think that it feels like dying in a way. It feels like a complete separation from your body, like you are floating out of it, then next thing you know you are blinking at a blinding light ahead of you.

If you have any suggestions or feedback please comment down below or message me! This is my first fanfic in a while, so please excuse my poor grammar. And thank you for reading! Neteyam and the reader will be meeting next chapter.

@skeletondeerart

#neteyam x reader #neteyam x female reader #neteyam x avatar!reader #neteyam x disabled!reader #platonic!tuk x reader #platonic!lo'ak x reader #platonic!kiri x reader #norm spellman x daughter!reader #max patel x daughter!reader #neteyam te suli tsyeyk'itan #neteyam sully x reader #neteyam suli x reader

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changelingsandothernonsense · 10 months

Text

WIP Whenever the day of my week!

Friday today, Friday today! anyway tagged by both @mareenavee and @paraparadigm. This week I tore through writing and art so you get both again!

Art First. Two things! Linking images via background because I can! Rat 1 and 2.

I said not to give me ideas about dumb shit! :D

Now for the writing section. It's that pub brawl from the one-shot prompt. I just turned this playlist on loop. (It's not very PC so warning, loud and explicit if you listen to it...don't). This snippet is also kinda explicit so...But fuck Slitter. Under the cut for length purposes!

“Teldryn, what are you doing?” Sydari sounded apprehensive, he guessed she had every right to be.

“I’m just going to have a little talk with our lovely friend over there,” He smiled at her as he put his helmet and goggles back on, neglecting to secure them correctly. Too much of a hurry. Who cares. He reached to pull up his scarf but decided against it. He had agreed to this compromise, he got to keep the helmet and goggles on in public, so long as she could see some sort of facial expressions for five minutes. I still don’t understand why you indulge her? Not your problem though, is it?

He caught her gaze, she still looked apprehensive, her jaw taught. This he didn’t like. He had promised her that he’d stop doing this, but he just couldn’t leave this alone. Didn’t want to. So, he tried to reassure her instead, “Relax Miluth, I’ll only smack him around a little bit, I promise,” He took one last drink and winked at her not that she could see it, “Stay there, I promise this won’t take long. Then you can tell me exactly how bad that Companion was so that I can live vicariously through you.” He turned away from their secluded little table and approached the bar, stopping about a meter short of it. The room span slightly, he felt unsteady, perfect!

“Teldryn! Geldis can handle- “she called out, he chose to ignore her. Finally. Stop. He was beginning to itch; he didn’t like it. He did. He flexed the fingers on his right hand to relieve the tension. Let’s go! I’m ready.

“Oi Slitter! Get off him you ugly fuck!” The elf stilled. Rigid. He turned to face Teldryn, Geldis’ shirt still in his hand. He wasn’t exaggerating, Slitter was an unfortunate looking one! Half the man’s face was ruined by a poorly healed gash of a scar, Teldryn’s own handiwork, that stretched from the bottom of his left eye to the corner of his mouth. Long and thin. It was pulled into a particularly egregious scowl that caused the skin to pull and pucker on the affected side. Ok, fine! Teldryn had several scars that were far worse looking. Three, no four now, wasn’t it? Were even on his face, but they gave him character...probably. Maybe? He’ll keep telling himself that. He didn’t mind a little visual interest, but this wasn’t it. At least wash, gods!

“You two owe Mogrul coin, I’ve come to collect,” Bullshit! Neither he nor Geldis had ever engaged the so-called services of that loan shark and his lapping dog of a goon. No, Slitter was just being a shithead! Every so often, either this idiot or that big brute of an orc Slitter liked to scamper around got it in their collective skulls to harass either himself or Geldis over something insipid. Last Suns Dusk they insisted on some kind of protection money. Now it’s what? Loans? Geldis had more sense than to engage the two, Teldryn didn’t. Fuck pleasantries and compromise, he had a better idea!

“Hey, Slitter!” He called out, “Why don’t you come collect THIS!” He grabbed his crotch and thrust dramatically. Tease! That did it! Sneering, Slitter let go of Geldis and took a swing at Teldryn, which he just barely dodged, stumbling back several paces. Unsteady. You’re getting sloppy. No, I’m buzzing, it’s different. Is it?

“You watch your mouth s’wit!” Slitter spat. He hit the right nerve. Yes! Keep going? I’m having fun. Good! He grinned and bared his teeth so Slitter could see. He would keep taunting, “Watch my mouth or what? You’ll get your master to come get me! Oh, I’m so terrified!” Slitter clocked him in the jaw, he was just drunk enough to not feel it, though he grabbed the area anyway. Reflex? “Is that all you got? I barely felt that!” Tug. What was that?

“Teldryn! Stop it!” Fuck! Fuck! He felt another light tug on the sleeve of his shirt, he glanced to his side. She was there, as he expected. Dammit! He told her to stay put, “It’s fine Sydari”.

“It’s fine Sydari,” Slitter mimicked back, “You listen to everything your little mongrel whore says?” Slitter gestured to his own face his thin mouth twisting into a mocking grin, “Sero, you must have it bad if you’re showing that ugly mug in public! Does she dress you now too?” So, their table wasn’t that secluded after all, dammit! How dare he bring her into this! Oh, fuck him!

“You little bitch!” Teldryn spat, he kicked Slitter in the gut, sending the elf crashing to the ground. You stay down! Slitter struggled to his feet and spat on the floor. Disgusting! Someone is going to have to clean that!

“You’re gonna wish you never did that!” Slitter grunted, finding his bearings on the table behind him. This would be easy; the guy was pathetic. Weak. Teldryn was ready for another round. Tug. She was pulling on his armour now, “Teldryn! Leave it alone.” He shrugged her off again. He wanted to rearrange Slitter’s face!

“You’re gonna wish that you just shut up and sucked my dick you ugly fuck!” He dramatically gestured again with a thrust only to find himself hit with a sudden force. He crashed into the wooden table behind him, falling right through it. Oh, now this was getting interesting! Slitter was on him, he started swinging wildly. There was a glint of something metallic. Miss. Miss. Shoulder! Missed! Throw him off! Teldryn punched him in the jaw, then again in the ribs before kicking him off. Get up! Teldryn pulled himself up, his back hurt, and his shoulder stung…odd. He could hear Geldis shout something at him, Sydari screamed. He hated that.

Crack!

His nose stung, a torrent of blood pouring from his nostrils. He touched the bridge. Broken, again. Another crack and his helmet was knocked from his head. Had he forgotten to secure it? His hair fell in his eyes. Disorientated, dizzy. Watch! He found purchase on the back of a chair and looked up as Slitter swung the shattered ale bottle at his face. Teldryn grabbed his arm and twisted it, causing Slitter to drop the bottle. It shattered on the floor. Shouting again, but it all sounded muffled. Dizzy, he was dizzy. He headbutted the fucker in the face and felt Slitter’s nose crack from the force. One for one. Serves him right. He tasted blood. His goggles were cracked.

“Oh fuck!” Slitter yelled, holding his nose. Teldryn took the opportunity to gain the upper hand again and grabbed the chair he had been using to support himself. He slammed it over the other elf’s back. Slitter crumpled to the ground. Wait a few moments. Teldryn tried to catch his breath. His chest burned. He tasted blood. He spat it out. Gross. Someone was pulling at his face.

“Teldryn! That’s enough!” Sydari forced him to look at her. Anger? No, that was disappointment that played at her features. Watch out! Somehow that was worse. Pay attention! He promised her he’d stop this. Fuck! A pain seared through his hip. He watched as she fell backwards, had he pushed her? No, he was falling too. There were hands around his throat. Slitter punched him in the face. He’d been distracted. He tasted blood. He spat it in Slitter’s beady red eyes. Idiot! The hand around his throat tightened and he reached to claw at it, he smelt something burn. His head hurt. I’ll finish it!

Crack!

The struggling had stopped, he felt wet. The smell was acrid. It made him feel nauseous. He felt the weight that was on his chest disappear as he was dragged to his feet. Her eyes were amaranth. She slapped him in the face.

#wip whenever #my art #my wips #tag games #Teldryn Sero #Stupid shit

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inbarfink · 9 months

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I've posted about my various Adventure Time Roleswap AUs, like a billion years ago (actually it was like six) and now that I've got New Artwork and slightly reworked designs for them maybe it's time to re-introduce them!!

So this what I call the "Bonnieverse'! It's a PB-Finn, Simon-Marcy roleswap! More details under the cut:

Bonnie Bubblegum: A young gum-blob girl found in the woods in the outskirts of Ooo and raised in the Crystal Dimension by Bob and Ethel Raincorn. At the age of 12, Bonnie returned to the Land of Ooo to live with her adoptive older sister Lady - and to try and uncover the mysteries of where she came from. Nobody quite knows what she is or ever heard of other “candy people” like her, as far as anyone knows she’s the first of her kind. She's an aspiring inventor - often creating goofy gadgets to help her on her adventures, but she’s still young and inexperienced so they don't always work as expected. While she’s not a bad fighter with her crossbow, she prefers to defeat her enemies with diplomacy or a clever plan. In spite of her cheerful and gentle demeanor, she had a ruthless strike that tends to catch others off-guard.

Lady Raincorn: Bonnie’s adoptive sister, pretty much the same as her regularverse counterpart. Maybe she’s a bit more of an overly nice pushover to provide more drama and to play off her more ruthless sister.

Prince Finn Martens: The young leader the Human Kingdom - a small island-based kingdom inhabited by the last few Humans in Ooo, as well as Hyoomans and other mutants ('Human' is considered more of a national identity than a species). Prince Finn used to enjoy being a thrill-seeking adventurer when he was Bonnie’s age. But ever since his mother, Queen Minerva, died of a plague - he had to step up and be more responsible as the new ruler of the kingdom. He does try his best, even though he’s still a bit of a violent, immature, fun-loving goofball at heart and not doing such a great job dealing with his mom’s death. Might be a bit living vicariously through Bonnie’s adventurous exploits. His steed is his adopted shapeshifting dog brother Jake (who is basically the same as in the mainverse)

Vampire Queen: Once Marceline Abadeer, a fun-loving pre-Mushroom-War rock star who found herself afflicted with vampirism. Marceline found it extremely hard to resist her vampire urges and secluded herself from her loved ones - trying to scare them away from trying to help her. After surviving the Mushroom War, she started hunting down other Vampires on purpose and absorbing their power to be strong enough to survive through the Apocalypse. Which only made things worse for both her self-image and her mental state. The acclimation of not just her Vampire curse, but those of countless other vampires, has really subsumed the original Marceline. Nowadays, she has very little memories of the person who she once was and, as the last vampire left in Ooo, she ‘rules’ over the desolate and gloomy (and nearly empty) ‘Undead Kingdom’. She spends her time trying to frighten people and appear as a terrifying villain (as a subconscious remnant of her desire to push people away before she hurts them or they hurt her) - but it mostly comes off as weird pranks which are (usually) harmless.

Simon the Ice Wizard: A young child when the Mushroom War broke out, Simon was orphaned by the war and was raised by Marceline Abadeer (AKA Vampire Queen). After she abandoned him to protect him from herself, he found himself under the frosty wing of Patience St. Pim, the Ice Elemental - who made him her protégé and transformed him into a powerful immortal elemental wizard. Although their relationship was always kinda distant. All of those experiences and more made Simon on the one hand very protective and kind and on the other hand kinda obnoxiously clingy and socially awkward. Although he's a well-meaning guy and the biggest nerd in Ooo - through a seemingly never-ending sequence of unfortunate misunderstanding he has accidently managed to develop a terrifying reputation as a fearsome merciless wizard. He's mostly interested in playing the drums and collecting and cataloging pre-Mushroom War artifacts. He and Bonnie are get along great because they’re both huge geeks, though he’s overprotective and doesn’t feel comfortable with the idea of a young child being the hero of the kingdom -which brings him to a lot of conflict with Prince Finn (also Finn just generally likes teasing him for being a huge nerd).

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inactivebooo · 1 year

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𝑵𝒐𝒘 𝒑𝒍𝒂𝒚𝒊𝒏𝒈..

𝓟𝓮𝓸𝓹𝓵𝓮 𝔀𝓪𝓽𝓬𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓰

Clyde was a mess , sure it had been almost 5 years since you both parted ways .. but that didn’t mean it hurt any less. Tolkien never really was all that good at jokes - yet you still thought they were hilarious.

He could hear you telling your friends at work how long you and Tolkien had been together, and it stung.

“Wends you wouldn’t believe how long it’s been! 49 months!”

That’s basically 4 years.. you even wear a ring now.. though you insist the two of you aren't engaged.

when team Craig would meet up every other month , all Tolkien would talk about is how you two would be awake at 4 am , planning your future.

and as much as it hurt him, he was happy for you. but deep down he wants to feel all the love and emotion that flows between you and Tolkien , he longs to be that attached to someone held in his arms. someday , maybe he'd fall for someone new without caution. but for now he would be one of the many people watching.

until he got to live it himself , he would live through you vicariously. if Clyde was honest he had never been properly in love until you came along.. not seriously anyway. see he had a dream of a home behind a white picket fence with you. hopefully the next person he chose to trust , he'd use some common sense with.

if only he didn't cut people off like the tags on his clothes, maybe he would still have a chance at not being alone. maybe.. just maybe, he wouldn't be so scared to let someone really know him. his life just feels so .. monotone, so bland. he wants to feel all the human love and emotion..

but until them , he's only another person watching.

tags - @valstarroz @h3artilly @ryenwritess @kodzuchar @imposter-27

#superache #clyde donovan x reader #clyde donovan #clyde donovan x y/n #south park

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mossarchives · 5 months

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12 for Briar and Tamarack

12 was hard! That was Through Me (The Flood) by Hozier which is... very sad. I had to let this one cook for a while and it kind of diverted, but I hope you enjoy it anyways!

For context: Briar and Wyn exist in the same OL universe, but Briar has lived in Golden Grove her whole life (like Qiu). Her story is one of familial pressure since her mom wants to live vicariously through her.

He feels the rising of a wave and knows at once he will not weather it

---

Briar peers closer at her reflection in the mirror of her locker, tracing the curve of her lips with her lip gloss. The school hallways have yet to fully erupt into the noise and chaos of the morning rush, giving her a few moments of quiet to compose herself. She leans back from the mirror, and checks the clips holding her curls in place, twisting a particularly damaged piece of hair between her fingers. Years of straightening had done more damage than she’d been expecting, only noticeable when she started growing it back out.

Briar takes a deep breath, and smooths out the collar of her blouse. Her stomach twists uncomfortably when she glances down at her watch, seeing the numbers tick ever higher towards the start of school.

A small bubble of noise travels towards her, the voices a familiar balm to her anxiety. She looks beyond the door of her locker and spots three figures making their way down the hall towards her. Qiu is leading the charge with Tamarack and Wyn behind them, all engaged in conversation.

“Briar!” Qiu’s attention switches to her the instant they make eye contact, cutting off whatever comment Wyn was in the middle of saying. “Who do you think would win a fight, a trio of vampires or a trio of werewolves?”

“What?” She crosses her arms over her chest. Talking to Qiu is good for her on mornings like these, where she struggles to fortify the image of the perfect Briar Earnest. The little back and forth they’ve been perfecting since they were kids is simple.

“Tamarack and I are on the team of the werewolves,” Wyn says, slipping around Briar to tuck his skateboard into her locker, without asking she might add. “Qiu votes for vampires.”

“Can I vote for neither?” She gets a resounding ‘no’ in response and sighs. “Werewolves.”

“Hah!” Wyn loops an arm around Qiu’s shoulders, “get outvoted, Blue.”

“This is anarchy!” Qiu smirks back. “She’s only voting werewolves to vote against me!”

Briar shrugs, “Maybe I am.” Qiu squints at her, gaze full of friendly challenge. She isn’t really in the mood to respond in kind, busying her hands by adjusting Wyn’s board so it won’t get dirt on any of her things.

Tamarack shakes her head at the two of them, tucking her coat into her locker. “Weren’t you two going to go hunt through the lost and found for Qiu’s water bottle?”

“Oh, right.” Wyn says, far too quickly for Briar’s liking. He starts to pull Qiu down the hall, tightening his grip on their shoulders. “Let’s go do that!”

Once the two of them have vanished around the bend in the hall, Tamarack turns to face Briar with a gentle smile. “Good morning… Did you… talk to your mom last night?”

“I did.” Briar lets out a deep breath and closes her locker. “It went about as well as we all expected.”

“I’m sorry.” The other girl winces, taking a step closer to reach for one of her hands. Her palms are warm against Briar’s tense fingers.

“It’s fine. One of these days she’ll get over it.” She desperately wants to scrub a hand across her face, but resists. There’s far too much concealer and eye shadow fighting for their lives to hide her dark circles today. Futile frustration and anxiety well up in her chest, threatening to overwhelm her. ‘One of these days’ was just a lie she told herself to keep the fear at bay. Her mother was likely never going to stop trying to dig her claws into Briar’s life, trying to shape it to be the same as hers. Anyone who got irrationally angry at their daughter wanting to take science related classes in high school wasn’t going to give up after one argument.

“Hey.” Tamarack runs her thumb across Briar’s knuckles, smoothing out the tension in her hands. The smile on her face is warm and her words are gentle. “I’m proud of you for talking to her, I think that was brave of you. You know I’m always here for you, and so are Wyn and Qiu.”

Briar squeezes her hand. The feelings about the situation haven’t faded, but she appreciates the gesture nonetheless. Her situation isn’t something that words can fix, but it’s easier to let them sit in her chest knowing that Tamarack is there for her. She brings their joined hands to her lips, pressing a kiss to the other girl's knuckles.

Their relationship was new enough that the simple gesture blooms a blush across Tamarack’s cheeks. She twines their fingers even tighter and inclines her head down the hall. “Should we go help them search?”

“Ah, the incredibly legitimate search for Autumn's water bottle.” Briar lets herself get tugged along in the tide. “Next time tell Wyn to steal their water bottle before you show up, and not while trying to walk away.”

Tamarack just laughs and picks up her pace, their hands still tethered together.

#tamarack baumann #briar earnest #olnf #our life now and forever #our life mc #moss writes

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slamminslamminmcgill · 11 months

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every time i think abt my hcs for nacho growing up trans i eat a small piece of drywall

i dont rly have it solidified but the gist of it is his mother was overbearing and wanted to live vicariously through her "daughter" and pushed him into doing traditionally feminine things. she'd chastise him for coming home dirty and playing with the boys in the neighborhood. she would always buy him dresses, and at first he'd sneak them into the trash. though as she got more and more insistent he'd cut the skirts off and wear the top as a shirt.

when his mom wasn't breathing down his neck he would always hang around his dad at the shop and watch whatever he was up to. manuel would explain everything and teach him so he could come work with him someday (and also hem his cut up dresses to make them actual shirts). he knew he felt safe there. he honestly probably knew before nacho even had the words for it. his mom was too busy huffing copium to accept it.

the breaking point was when nacho was turning 15, his mom put up a fight about throwing a quince for him. this was right around the time nacho started puberty. his body was making him sick. he couldn't look into the mirror without crying. when he got his first period he locked himself in the bathroom for hours and cried. he was absolutely miserable. his mom would say "it's okay querida, you're becoming a woman :)" either not knowing or not caring that becoming a woman was nacho's biggest fear. during dress fittings he snapped and came out to her. basically screaming that he couldn't take this shit anymore and he'll never be the daughter she wanted. he'll never be her daughter, and she never was his mother.

his parents got divorced. his father got custody. and from then, he could heal.

#better call saul #bcs #nacho varga #trans nacho varga #ignacio varga #nacho varga headcanons #nacho varga imagine #nacho varga hcs #better call saul imagine #better call saul headcanons #better call saul hcs

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orchdaries · 3 months

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( aespa's yoo jimin (karina) , cisfemale , she/her ) : ̗̀➛ twenty-five years young , a firebender from the noble house of choi . many know them to be fanciful & unambitious . how unfortunate , truly … i’ve always found them to be softspoken & dutiful . they oft fulfill the duties of a healer . oh , i should tell you — they oppose the rule of house yi . well , you know how every storyteller bends the tale they tell . ✶ sky , +21 , she/they .

please welcome house choi's middle child (along with her twin), choi aera! contrary to the tendency of her house of learning lavabending, she preferred to focus and hone her bender abilities into the healing field instead of the combat one because she's the support type of character through and through (she really really really doesn't want to be sent to the battlefield and fight if house sungold or house yi ever makes them fight, help), thankfully the universe smiled at her and, even though she isn't the best healer you'll ever meet, she can do her job quite alright! under the cut more info about her past + personality and a couple of plot ideas!

choi aera. 25 y/o. firebender & healer. awakened her bending abilities at 10 y/o and as much as it was fun to incorporate fire bending into her daily life and how much she learned about herself in that process, she doesn't really enjoy the combative part of bending.

half because she does value peace and half because she isn't really good at conflicts especially when they end up getting physical (which is super ironic considering she's from a military house); hates the idea of getting hurt but also honestly would give up a limb if it meant she didn't have to go through an agni kai.

likes to daydream about a lot of scenarios in this very "seeing the world through rosé colored lenses" type of way and sometimes can even seem like an airhead, even more so with how softspoken she is; daydreams about some noble from another house coming to sweep her feet away at least five times a day, dreams of saying goodbye to her family (or even the fire nation) to live her own adventure another ten times but honestly lacks the courage to really do so.

in the end she likes the comfort and familiarity of what she already knows too much to really abandon it for the unknown. but it doesn't mean!! she won't enable others to chase after their own dreams no matter how unrealistic they are!! yes, @/head of house [redacted], go elope with that [redacted] commoner, aera will be rooting for you!!

loves loves loves to live vicariously through other people so pls tell her everything while she does a check up on your chi paths!!

does a lot of wishful thinking too, in this "everything will be alright in the end and if it isn't ok yet then it's because this isn't the end" way.

wasn't really the troublemaker type when growing up and much more like the good kid that wanted to be praised by her parents especially, but she liked fairy tale/fantastic sort of stories since then. i imagine playing pretend with her was super fun because her imagination was wild.

grew up as a mommy's girl through and through, going out of her way to spend time with mom when she was still alive (from unprompted and not so unprompted tea time, to bringing books so mom could read to her or asking to be taught this specific fire bending technique, etc etc) and showing off her results to her was motivation for aera to work hard 99% of the time; so it obv hit aera hard when she died, much more than her dad's death did (oop).

for the longest time she thought that she could've done something to prevent their deaths and that's why she almost started studying to be a doctor instead of a healer; still got into the study of herbs/potions for a while but she's no expert in neither of those areas; she knows the basics and that's pretty much it.

her mourning is mostly over at this point, but sometimes it still hits her very hard; that also made her mature a lot pretty quickly and now she keeps most to her more dreamy part of her personality to herself or to the people she lets in her inner social circle because she also closed herself off a lot more even though she does seem as friendly as ever.

overall a very sweet girl with sweet dreams but zero backbone (and actual desire, i guess) to chase them!

doesn't really like house yi because she feels they put way too much pressure/restraints on her family due to their ability to lavabend and wished that a "kinder" royal family ruled them instead.

wanted connections

fave client ! someone who always has the best stories to tell while she does her work on them. regardless of whether they're true or not, she's always looking forward to work for them because it means she gets to hear what adventure they got (or will get) themselves next!

childhood/teenage friends ! someone that not only knew aera before the tragedy with her parents but also was close to her and saw firsthand how the light in her eyes dimmed with what happened. someone that she feels like she can count on to this day or maybe they drifted apart at some point for some reason and now they're trying to reconnect (successfully or it's just very very awkward)

crushes ! she's much more in love with the idea of love (esp one that comes straight out of a love story) more than anything else + is very weak to good looking people so she gets infatuated with anyone pretty easily. i imagine she has an endless list of people she crushed on (but then falls out of it very easily too); people she's more in love with the idea of them than the person themselves.

the one that got away ! talking about which!! someone that she was in a relationship with but then it never got too far for any reasons— aera's immaturity with actual love, the other person's own shortcomings, maybe they were right for each other but met at the wrong time, etc etc, but it's still someone that she keeps in a very special spot on her heart, making her go wild with what ifs in her head. the one she'll always love (maybe in a first love or that one special summer affair sort of way) regardless of anything else.

older sibling energy/knight in shining armor ! as much as aera reaches out to look after people, she also has this energy of can't be left alone (affectionate but also a little derogatory). aera just feels like someone who'd fall for scams every and anywhere with how easily she genuinely believes that this really random guy is part of the earth nation's fallen royal family and traveled all around the world to hide themselves while collecting wealthy and knowledge so now they're looking for a new spouse to rebuild their dynasty with. basically someone who can't help but feel protective over her.

this is everything that i could come up with but i'm always open to brainstorm any and everything!!

#✧ ooc .#rs.intro #this time i'll message people even slower so hopefully no shadowbans anymore 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏#if it takes me forever to reach someone that's why 😔

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storiesofsvu · 2 years

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Opposing Counsel Ch 2

Warnings: language, talk of sex, some chaos, brief talk of case work.

“Hey! You busy?” You popped your head into Rita Calhoun’s office, she smiled at you from the desk, you’d been friends from the second you started at her firm 6 years ago. In the years since you’d become closer than any of the other lawyers, often sharing meals, post work drinks, or coming to each other for suggestions on cases, not to mention you were two of the best defence attorney’s in New York. You had a very open and playful relationship, when you weren’t busy tearing apart cases you gave off a relaxing, playful vibe, Rita found herself able to actually open up a bit more around you. Most of your other coworkers simply didn’t get the goofiness you managed to coerce out of each other, but it worked.

“Not really.” She replied,

“Perfect!” You moved into the office, “I’ve got lunch!” Rita was quick to move the paperwork off her desk, clearing an empty spot for you to plop the bag down onto. She expected you to start pulling containers out, slightly surprised when you moved around her desk,

“What’re you..?”

“Oh just hold on, I need to show you something.” You pulled her keyboard toward you, “Close your eyes.”

“Oh God VanRiel, what now?” You laughed at that, you’d been putting up with each other’s shit for too many years now, she knew something was coming.

You clicked through a couple of screens on Youtube until you found what you wanted, giggling to yourself as you hit play ‘Sometimes, somethin’ beautiful happens in this world, you don’t know how to express yourself, so, you just gotta sing….’ Rita practically howled as The Lonely Island’s ‘I Just Had Sex’ blared through her office.

“Oh My GOD Y/N!” She rushed to turn the volume down, the door was open after all. “I take it the date went well then?”

“No.” You dropped down into a chair, pulling some lemon chicken towards you, “He was a total dick but I ditched him and ended up meeting someone at Spring Lounge.” You took a bite of food, “There’s ginger beef in there for you…” The switch back to completely casual was completely smooth.

“And?” She quirked a brow at you, pulling the food and a pair of chopsticks out.

“The song didn’t explain it well enough? Or did you want specific details?” Rita laughed into her lunch, shaking her head,

“Whether I ask for them or not you’ll tell me.”

“You’re not wrong.” You smirked,

“And…” She repeated,

“Holy fuck. Like, this guy, easily top 3. Not joking, I mean, we got along super well, there was none of that awkwardness, we just…worked. I mean, find a guy who’ll take care of your tab when you weren’t on an actual date? Never happens in this goddamn city.” You rolled your eyes.

“Top 3 hey?” She joked,

“Rita.” You stopped your eating, “Please…this guy…holy fuck…incredible kisser, his hands, wow, I mean like, wow. And his—“ It was there she finally cut you off.

“Y/N, come on! We’re eating.”

“Sorry!” You both laughed, you’d kept Rita pretty in the loop of your dating life after one of your HORRIBLE first dates ended up on the wrong side of an assault charge a few weeks later. She mainly wanted to make sure you were safe, but was definitely living vicariously through you.

“Did you exchange numbers?” You shrugged,

“I left him with mine, we’ll see what happens….”

The conversation moved slowly away from your escapades, asking about Rita’s week, how her current case was going, the sentencing the judge came back with on your last case. An hour easily passed, conversation flowing with ease between two friends, the take out containers empty by the time your phone went off, digging it out of your pocket you answered.

“VanRiel.” A elongated pause, Rita watched as your brows furrowed, taking in the information being conveyed to you, “K, I’ll be there in 10.” You hung up the phone, an exasperated sigh leaving your lips as you looked across at Rita, “You know anything about SVU?” Most of the clients you had were business men, the work you did was mainly white collar crimes, money laundering, nothing violent, you’d never been called to sex crimes or homicide. Rita let out a huff of a laugh,

“Good luck…”

“Detectives or their A.D.A?” You questioned while gathering your things.

“Both!” Rita replied, “I swear, somedays they have their shit together, other days….it’s a complete disaster…”

“Great…” You rolled your eyes, “We’re still on for drinks tonight?”

“Sweetheart you’re gonna need them after this.”

“Uggghhhhhh.” You promptly left her office, gearing back up into lawyer mode. You may have a playful and fun relationship with your friends, but there was absolutely no doubt you were a complete shark when it came to your job. You knew exactly how to play into the jury’s hands, how to manipulate them into believing whatever it was you needed to. There was a tingle in your chest knowing that this would be different, you’d never dealt with something Special Victims was called in for, but you knew Jonathon Perman, and you already had a feeling it would be an easy win for you.

***

Arriving at SVU, Captain Olivia Benson was quick to greet you, asking if she could help you, you were quick to respond that you were there looking for your client.

“Perman?” She questioned, you nodded, “He’s with our A.D.A. right now.” You practically scoffed,

“He lawyered up 15 minutes ago…you better not be questioning him any further.”

Benson threw you a glare at that (that…you were used to, it came with the business, cops never really liked you and honestly, you couldn’t give a fuck). She led you to an interrogation room, through the window you saw who you presumed was a cop (Rollins) leant up against the wall, and none other than fucking Rafael sitting at the table across from your client. The world had to be playing some kind of cruel joke against you, right? You didn’t spare Benson another moment as you opened the door,

“I’d like a moment with my client please.” Your voice was hard, cold, lawyer mode activated. Rafael looked over his shoulder at you, the smug grin on his face fading as he realized just who he was looking at. His thought process went from, ‘a new lawyer, perfect,’ to ‘wait…’ to ‘oh fuck…’ to ‘wait…this girl’s a little sub, there’s no way she can win this’. He drank in your appearance, the casualness of your clothes completely changed. Your hair was pinned back in a low bun, a loose piece curled by your ear, your hips tight in a pencil skirt, a red dress shirt, two buttons undone, that matched the pair of red heels completely. You may have been dressed for work but to him, you were dressed like absolute sex. He felt his cock twitch in response to your appearance, you may have been there to work against him but there was something so undeniably sexy about that he couldn’t hold back. Not to mention the image of you shaking beneath him was burned into his eyes for eternity.

“Counsellor…”He managed to stumble out, you moved into the room, extending a hand to him,

“Y/N VanRiel.” His hand encased yours, accepting the greeting despite your previous…encounter… “And I’ll have that moment with my client now.”

You briefly had a moment with Jonathon, telling him not to say anything, you knew they were all still listening through the glass. He’d been accused of raping a bartender at a work function, but vehemently denied it, even after she’d picked him out of a lineup. You…you honestly believed him, there was something off about the entire situation, you said you’d do your best to get him bail, but he’d have to spend the night in Rikers before arraignment. You reassured him that you were the best at what you did, and you weren’t about to let him get put away for something he didn’t do. On your exit from interrogation you found Barba waiting for you, you cocked a brow.

“Can I help you?”

“You know he did it, right? Or are you just used to defending perverts.” You barked out a laugh at that,

“Counsellor, I’m used to defending people who don’t deserve to go to jail, and Perman here, is on that list.” You heels brought you right up to Rafael’s eye line, and you weren’t about to back down to his crappy intimidation. He scoffed at your reply,

“Oh please VanRiel, he raped that girl and we all know it, and I’m going to prove it. We both know you’re willing to submit to that, right?” You rolled your eyes at his mention of your sexual submission.

“You can do your best to prove it Barba but you’re wrong. And if you think I’m going to back off that easily, you have no idea how I am in the courtroom.” You gave him a once over before leaving the bull pen, full of sass and confidence, he couldn’t help but watch the way your hips swayed in the tight skirt, the red heels embedded into his brain, despite the situation he found himself imagining fucking you while you wore only those shoes.

****

Hours later, after pouring over the weakness of what SVU called a case and talking to a few of Perman’s coworkers, you dropped yourself into a booth across from Rita, groaning heavily.

“That bad?” She questioned, pushing the extra glass of scotch towards you. You rolled your eyes, taking a thankful swig of the amber liquid, “Detectives or the A.D.A.?”

“Honestly you’re not even going to believe me when I tell you…” You needed another couple of gulps of scotch before you could even think of telling her.

“What? That squad does so much shit to get cases thrown out all the time.” Your glass hit the table a little harder than you meant it to,

“It wasn’t the squad…” You let out a groan, “Mr Mystery from last night…none other than A.D.A. Rafael fucking Barba…” You finished off the scotch as that as Rita practically hollered, collapsing into a fit of laughter at your misfortune, when she’d regained herself (and you ordered another drink) wiping tears from her eyes she looked over at you.

“You can’t be serious…”

“Would I LIE to you about this shit Rita?!” You laughed at yourself, “Fuck! Like…how in the hell does that happen?! He was in jeans, he didn’t come across as a lawyer at all! I never would have thought he was even close to working in law, what the fuck!?” You’d been processing the information in the back of your mind all day, it was amazing that he could come off so differently at work, but there was no way you were about to lose this case.

“Oh and you’re telling me you were in business wear writing on a legal pad when he showed up?” Rita questioned, causing you to roll your eyes at her,

“Okay, fine, neither of us mentioned work, we didn’t talk about it…but now I need to walk into the courtroom and win that case like he wasn’t moaning when his dick was in my mouth.” She barked out a laugh at that,

“Jesus Y/N….” You took a second to thank the waitress for your round of drinks, sipping back the scotch, surprised when she spoke again, “…Top 3…really?” You shot her a death glare,

“Don’t even start Calhoun.”

“Uhm, if I remember correctly you were the one who came into my office blasting the song about having sex earlier today.” The smirk on her face apparent as you laughed against your drink.

“Fine! Yes….that fucking A.D.A. is in my top 3….fuck me…” You muttered into your drink, Rita laughing across at you. You’d certainly never expected to be in this situation, you did your best to keep your personal and work life separate, but this…this was a whole new level of craziness, at least you knew you had the case in the bag.

#rafael barba #rafael barba x reader #law and order svu #opposing counsel

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