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buckysegan · 3 months

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"When you're in love, my how they fly."

Summary: John finds a different source of comfort when he returns from his leave in London. John x She. Word Count: 1.8k A/N: The ideas for this have been in my head since I watched the episode and I needed to share them. No Beta edits. Curvy FMC implied. Angst all around.

She wished that she could be surprised by the empty space she found as her hand moved to reach for the Major she had fallen asleep with. It was cold to, the space where he had been as if he had been gone a while now but it didn't take her eyes long to find where he'd wondered too. Eyes flicked across to the only other bunk in the room, the one that until yesterday, Buck had slept in. Now it held her John, sifting through the locker of things that he'd likely have to take back in the morning.

She had known something was wrong the second another nurse had come flying onto the ward to say that Bucky was back early. Whilst she might not have known him long, she knew how much he'd needed that rest and there was only one person that would drag him back to base quickly.

Hearing the news he was back, the med bay was the first place she had looked. She hadn't been on yesterday when the boys had landed back and whislt she knew there were few of them she had been almost certain that Buck Clevan would have been one of them. He was Gale, he was the steady guiding light for most of them, for her Bucky, he had to come home.

If Buck wasn't here though? That meant he wasn't hurt and if he wasn't hurt? Pausing she took a slow swallow to clear the lump at her throat, hands reaching to check her curls were still pinned in place like the rush of emotions would have suddenly dishevelled her some how. No, no, no. She needed to find John. There wasn't a chance he would be letting out the emotions no doubt tearing through him out in front of the boys. That wasn't Bucky and right now he wasn't Bucky, he was John Egan and his heart was slowly breaking.

The walk to the hanger was a lone one, cold too given her nurses uniform and she prayed he was there or she was going to be even colder on her walk back. She was lucky though, the sight of the jeep allowing a wave of relief to roll over her, it could have been Kenny doing some work but she knew it was John, the hatch of the plane down, the silhouette in the pilots seat, it was her John.

"Bucky?" She called quietly, there wasn't a chance in hell she'd have been able to pull herself through the hatch. All the times she had been up before John had lifted her in and out despite her claims that she was too heavy. Now all she could do was hope he could hear her from her under plane. "John it's me."

The whispered 'fuck' hit her first and were she not so worried about him she might have laughed, but all she could do was press her lips together in concern, biting at the lower as she listened to the clambering of her pilot moving down the meet her, the scowl on his face a clear indication that he wasn't happy.

"What are you doing here?" There was a sway to his step as he landed in front of her and a slur to his words but he was no less beautiful, even with pain etched into his face. Before she could even muster up an answer he seemed to note the slight shiver you had developed, his scowl deepening. "You're going to catch a chill, baby." Baby. He used the word so softly, with such fondness despite the fact he had never touched her.

'You're too good for a man like me baby.' That was what he had always claimed despite being the best she had ever met. Like right now, as the warmth of his sheep skin wrapped around her and the smell of him hit her nose. Major John Egan had won her heart a long time ago now, in the nights they had stayed up talking when he had eventually returned from the local pub, before Buck had gotten here. It was in those hours she had realised falling for this man had been an inevitability the second she had locked her eyes with his blue ones.

Still staring up at him trying to figure out the level of his hurt, Bucky sighed at her given she still hadn't answered him. "Did you walk out here? What on gods earth were you thinkin'?"

"They said you were back and I...I wanted to find you. To check on you, we should get you back to base John." The concern laced in her words was obvious as Bucky let his gaze soften ever so slightly. It was too much of an effort to resist her anyway. "You didn't need to come, I'm fine but lets get you back before you freeze and Monroe has your ass for being away from the hospital for this long." Bucky groaned and she couldn't help but groan back at him in return. Of course he was going to try and take care of her, like he'd take care of everyone else, even if the heart break he felt was written all over his face.

"I'll deal with him Bucky I just...let me help, I heard and I'm, I'm so sorry John." Who had been the brave soul to tell him she didn't know because her voice cracked just trying to get through her condolences. The look on his face would have been enough to break anyone though, she could see it, every inch of him was covered in his pain.

He mustn't have wanted her pity though, because he was quick to sling his arms over her shoulder, offer her what she knew was a fake smile. "Don't worry about it. I don't even feel it." Then he kissed her. It wasn't the sweet kiss that she had always imagined him capable of, it was a desperate kiss, one that begged her not to make him talk about it, one that needed her to feel something other than pain.

That was how she had ended up here, wrapped up in white sheets, memories of where his lips had trailed over her skin still tingling, the laughs they had shared as he pulled her into the jeep without letting go of her now cemented in her head. The quiet certainties that he had offered her as he checked that she was sure whilst sneaking her into the bunk with him now felt like they were a life time ago. The man that had managed to find a few restful hours of sleep in her arms was gone now.

Watching him where he sat on Buck's bunk, she wondered what she could give him right now, what he needed. But always her Bucky, it didn't take long for him to glance her way, like he could sense her gaze on him, shifting in his seat as he put down the letters he had been sifting through. "I need to get this sent back to Marge." She had never met her, but she had heard plenty to know Bucky was fond of her. "They wanted to take it this morning, but I feel like if I let them ship his locker, then I'm saying he's really gone you know?"

Moving from the bed with sheets still tucked around her, all she could do was wrap herself around his side, chin resting on his shoulder so that she could see the contents he was looking at. "Maybe you wait, till you do the next mission, when you come back maybe then you'll know what to do?" How he would ever begin to let his best friend go, she didn't know. Over the course of the weeks that they had been here she had watched them, seen just how close the two boys were, how anyone was meant to just accept that was gone? Her heart hurt at the thought.

"You fly today right?" Bucky gave her a nod. She had wanted to ask last night, when they had been fighting sleep, but she'd had her suspicions then. Before the sun had even begun to rise, someone would come for him again and he would lead another mission. The wait for him to return would start all over again only this time he'd know he was taking her heart with him.

He was still so quiet as he ruffled through some of the things, the odd huff leaving him but none of the usual bravado, none of the jokes or the charm that make him Bucky. "Come lay with me. I'll take care of this whilst you're gone, I promise." She offered him, because none of this could be doing him any good. All it could do was hurt him even more. Despite his size that always managed to make her feel small unlike most of the other pilots around here, when she tugged on his shoulders he came willingly, following her back to his bunk. Bucky tucked himself into her like she was the only thing that might keep him afloat, arms wrapped around her tight, legs locked in together. Were he not so desperate just to commit her fact to memory he would have laid his head out on her chest but instead they laid nose to nose. "I think I feel it baby." His words were so quiet, she might have thought she was making them up had she not been so locked in on him.

"Blue skies, smiling at me. Nothing but blue skies, do I see." Letting the hum leave her lips she traced the bridge of his nose, the tears in her eyes matching his. "Bluebirds singing a song, Nothing but bluebirds all day long." They laid like that for hours it seemed, her lulling his tears with her soft hums, her finger alternating between cheeks to wipe his tears. "Never saw the sun shining so bright. Never saw things going so right. Noticing the days hurrying by."

As the sun began to rise, they both knew that he had to move, had to be ready so that no one came looking for him only to find her in there. She offered him a soft kiss with each piece of his uniform he slipped into place. She smoothed out his hair. "Come home to me, John Egan." She made him promise he'd come home to her as he left her with his last kiss and he promised her that he would try. Now he'd had her once, there was no point in hiding he planned on keeping her if he could anyway.

He'd be the first to take off, she knew that. Her hair had been pinned again and her uniform put back in place. She had found reason to be with the ground crew as they all watched the fleet take off, eyes on her, as if Kenny and the other boys knew why she was here today. What she would give to have him here to comfort her now.

"When you're in love, my how they fly."

#masters of the air #mota #john egan x reader #john egan #callum turner

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hotvintagepoll · 2 months

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Propaganda

Greta Garbo (Camille, Anna Karenina, Queen Christina)—Enigmatic and alluring and made me bisexual. The perfect example of the eroticism in silent films that literally transcends text. Could literally not change anything about her expression but you knew by looking at her eyes what she was thinking. She’s so gorgeous.

Kay Francis (Jewel Robbery, I Loved A Woman, British Agent)— kay francis was an icon of glamor in her time and a top star of the 30s - she was the highest-paid actress at warner bros from 1930 to 1936. she tended to play characters who were charming, sophisticated, and elegantly dressed, and starred in at least one legitimate masterpiece, the sublime 1932 comedy trouble in paradise. her first big role was in the marx brothers movie the cocoanuts in 1929, and she and william powell made seven movies together between 1930 and 1932. even in her sillier movies she always elevates the material with her charm and presence - she never phones it in and there’s a sort of warm, knowing wittiness about her. a really good short promo from a retrospective of her movies that i think really gets her Vibe across

This is round 3 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Kay Francis:

youtube

Jewel Robbery clip

"From 1932 through 1936, Francis was the queen of the Warner Bros. lot, and, increasingly, her films were developed as star vehicles. By 1935, Francis was one of the highest-paid actors, earning a yearly salary of $115,000, dwarfing the $18,000 Bette Davis – who would one day occupy Francis's dressing room – made. From 1930 to 1937, Francis appeared on the covers of 38 film magazines, second only to child sensation Shirley Temple's 138." Source: Wikipedia. Kay Francis is like the MOST FAMOUS Actress from the 1930s you've never heard of--and it was her and Norma Shearer who wore and made classic the 1930s tall, slim, bias cut silhouette. She ALSO has a WHOLE PODCAST episode devoted to her life and career in Hollywood--it's fascinating! She is both tough and a total wet cat.

One of the TALLEST Warner Brother stars at 5’9” and known as a “clothes horse” for her glamorous roles wearing the height of 1930s fashion. She fell out of popularity in the 40s, but her 30s work sizzles. The scene with her and Herbert Marshall in Trouble in Paradise where she says she doesn’t care about his reputation (because she’d rather sleep with him?) HAWOOGA

melted my gay heart with her butch look in stolen holiday

"My life? Well, I get up at a quarter to six in the morning if I'm going to wear an evening dress on camera. That sentence sounds a little ga-ga, doesn't it? But never mind, that's my life ... As long as they pay me my salary, they can give me a broom and I'll sweep the stage. I don't give a damn. I want the money ... When I die, I want to be cremated so that no sign of my existence is left on this earth. I can't wait to be forgotten." —From Kay Francis's private diaries, c. 1938

Garbo:

A cold-ass Swedish WLW Sphinx. Had plans to murder Hitler that she never got around to. "She will remain always a child of vikings, moved about by a snowy dream."

First of all, she's on the money; that's how much of a treasure she is. She's beautiful in such a distinct way you need very few lines to draw her. (Drawing by Einar Nerman) She managed to be mesmerizing in both silent and sound films. She kissed a woman in Queen Christina (and probably several more in real life). She was super dry and really funny in Ninotchka. She got the hell out of Hollywood and stayed out, living for almost 50 years after her retirement.

Garbo is one of the many reasons why I'm gay. If you haven't seen Queen Christina please do, She is so gender in that film. Also her accent makes it sound like she's always talking in cursive and it's so hypnotic (or at least I think so).

She's a gay introvert, like all of us here on Tumblr.

Mysterious and aloof, charismatic and enigmatic, with beautiful androgynous characteristics, Garbo is undoubtedly the most eccentric and unique Hollywood vintage star. Her aversion to fame and stardom makes her even more desirable to the audience, and her insane chemistry with the camera, an actress one of a kind! Her particularity and her oddity is what discerns her strongly from her hollywood co workers at the time, noone was like her and would never be like her. I think, to the utmost extent, that she deserves the title of the hottest vintage star, even though that would be an understatement of what she is!

SO gorgeous, her thick Swedish accent makes will turn your brain into pudding

Probabaly a lesbian, absolutely a mood when she retired

#kay francis #greta garbo #hotvintagepoll #fuck that old woman #ladies 3 #Youtube

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bronx-bomber87 · 1 month

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Hello my wonderful fandom family :) We're finally back to new eps. I wasn't ready for this episode in the least. Idk I was ever gonna be ready tbh. If this isn’t the most apt ep name ever following the last ep. Bare with me as I once again sort through my thoughts and such. I'm really struggling with the 'mini' portion of these reviews the last few eps.

Ain't nothing mini about my emotions haha But I am sure come summer they'll be more refined for sure. Also thank you to anyone who reads these thoughts and enjoys them. It's still a trip to me people appreciate my thoughts. I just want to be a ray of sunshine and positivity with these.

A source of comfort while we all go through this together. Cause that's the beauty of fandom. Going through it together. Once again wanna preface there will be ZERO tolerance for bashing of any kind. They are both going through it right now. We all love these characters so much its why we're on here. I love conversation and comments but not spreading hate. With that in mind let's start eh?

6x07 Crushed

Tamara moving out still..... Ugh. I’m so sad about this. Truly the end of an era right here everyone. Also Lucy not wearing her necklace gut punch already to my feels...Poor Lucy wants her to stay but would never ask Tamara to do that. I wanna cry already for Lucy....I hate her necklace being missing and it's very obvious it's missing. *sad sigh*

I do love Lucy taking Tamara out to fancy dinner least. Channeling her emotions into something positive. Wanting to love on her before she goes. Tamara mentioning Tim getting kicked out of Metro…She isn’t wrong it is down hill after the pinnacle of Lucy indeed. Trying to give her a compliment but Lucy isn't taking it that way. I wanna cry for a second time. She looks so distressed. *sigh* Two massive pillars in her life are now gone and it's felt in this brief moment.

Tim in his old Metro office disassembling it. My heart. You all know how much I loved him In Metro. Killing me. Also just shows how much of a nose dive he took after this Ray debacle. Grey seeing this and sighing before going in after him. Tim seems like he’s in robot mode when Wade enters. Saying all the things he thinks Grey wants to hear since he’s back. No real emotion behind it. Just the grunt mentality he thinks he should have.

Gonna be more than just his trust you’re gonna need to earn back my love….Love Wade having him to ride along with Dr. London. Anyone needs it our boy does right now. Of course Tim bites back on this idea why wouldn’t he? Wouldn’t be Tim if he didn’t. Tim saying breaking up with Lucy has nothing to do with the Ray situation. Uh... it has everything to do with that my love EVERYTHING.

Grey standing his ground saying if he wants to regain his trust this is where it starts. I love him saying breaking up with Lucy and being bounced back to patrol due to being reckless makes him question his judgement. As it should…You forget Timothy this man watched you grow with Lucy for years. Saw how much she made you grew and joy she brought out in you. Of course he is questioning your actions. He just watched you throw away the best thing ever that's ever happened to you. Your judgement is being judged severely....

I adore Wade Grey. He's not only putting Tim in his place and saying he could mandate therapy (which he would be justified in doing...) Or take the ride along. Then saying he’s taking Lucy out too. Just so he knows he is looking out for them both in this moment. The man knows what he is doing.

I can’t believe Smitty doing breakup odds. I’m incensed by this tbh. Also I want punch the dude who said Tim would’ve cheated. He would NEVER. How very dare you. I hate that list. It makes me wanna rage out so hard. If any of them knew them at all they’d know it would never be something like that. Also her and Aaron? Ewww no no no.... Lucy had every right to ream Smitty out more than she did. So inappropriate it's insane. For shame sir truly.

I'm glad she shut it down. Last thing they need is the station gossiping about them like this. They're going to anyways but Ugh I hate this whole thing. I feel sick. Of course she runs into Tim right after.... Worst timing ever. Breaks my heart because he still is excited to see her but she isn't ready for him. How could she be? He looks so sad. But Tim what are you expecting my love? No way she is ready to be near you let alone talk. This hurts to watch…Lucy trying so hard just not to have a meltdown right there in the station.

I was very excited for him to have this ride along I will say and this opening scene is why. Dr London on his ass already. I love it. As she should be. Saying he’s bringing Aaron as a buffer. Which he is… Classic avoidance attachment style. That’s our boy. She’s not wrong he prefers surface level relationships (other than Lucy...) to a deep intimacy. His default state with anyone who isn't his girl.

She has him dead to rights already. Saying it’s a defense mechanism when someone is raised by an overly strict or domineering parent. A father. She’s not wrong. We all know his history. Tim of course isn’t about this whatsoever only making her assessment about him even more valid. Their scenes starting off real strong.

Grey wanting to check in on Lucy I do love it. He’s not wrong she’s been through HELL this year. The detectives exam, Jeff Budney and now losing Tim. God this hasn’t been an easy season for her. To say she's going through it is the understatement of the century. I'm hurting for her so very much. Her entire world has been rocked to it's very core in the last week alone. Not mention everything else before this.

It’s so awkward Lucy inviting everyone but Tim to Tamara’s going away dinner…. In front of Dr. London too. That shot from Tim’s body cam seems very intentional. As he looks at everyone she’s inviting but him. Way his head goes back and forth. Grey patting Tim on the arm on the way out. *phew* Rough start to the shift.

Of course their first call is disturbingly close to what she and Tim are dealing with. Not exactly what Lucy needs. Hearing this woman talking about thinking he was the one then it just ended. *heart clutch* Crushed is an apt name for how I was feeling during this episode.

Lucy has clearly kept this all inside for too long with her reaction to the situation. Wade would never set you up like that. Just shows how hyper sensitive she is atm. Why he's doing this ride along with her. He wants to keep you sane not crazy. I wanna hug her so much. 'I do watch too much reality tv. It's my bad' Lmao. Needed a little levity. This made me chuckle.

We hit the ground running about breakups with Dr. London. Honestly no need to beat around the bush for this observation of Tim. ‘Breakups are a trigger for many men. Especially since stereotypical gender roles prevent them from seeking out help. For fear of appearing weak.’ If that isn’t Tim and this entire situation right now…

Hell that's his ENTIRE life. He was shamed into never wanting help and if he did he was meant to feel weak for it. Just like she is stating above. She is very good at her job and just getting started. Tim can't hide in any of his normal brush off statements. Which I love. She has him pegged already and it shows. Quite the opening jab from her to start this off.

Lucy looks on verge of tears at all times right now and I’m dying. Especially when Grey brings up his name. Asking if they’ve talked since the breakup? Melissa straight killing me in this shop right now everyone. Those pre tears.....Saying she thought he didn’t care about her personal life. He’s not wrong if it affects her job it does matter. The point of this ride-along. To gauge where she is currently.

‘Smart to make the connection between IA and them breaking up. ‘Just a bad week.’ Oh its so much more than that…. Lucy protects him of course with the unethical portion. Bad place or not she's not going to cast any suspicion with that. But It’s so very clear she is painfully unaware why he did this to her. To them.

Only that he’s not emotionally available to her. *sigh* This is true. The man is a disaster zone atm. I mean he’s definitely occupied mentally in a way she doesn’t understand yet. Hell I don’t even think Tim understands it really. All he knows is he think's he's toxic and she’s better off without him. Which is a huge part of this episode tbh.

So she isn't wrong he is not emotionally available right now. That much is painfully true. The joke about the Diamondbacks was funny but sad at the same time. They found good way of getting little funnies in there with Grey. I do appreciate that. I'm a sports girl so I this made me smile.

Dr London really coming at Tim in this next section. She is wasting ZERO time with him. ‘Lot of romantic feelings start out as platonic love.’ Going right for it when she says he and Lucy were friends first right? His reaction…Gonna makes me bawl Eric. Hurts to watch this. Looks like he wants to cry. Ugh Tim. Killing me softly. She is getting under his skin quicker than he was expecting and you can tell. Hitting at a very raw nerve he's trying to keep hidden. He looks so distraught and emotional when he replies 'I was her T.O.'

Tim saying he’s not depressed. Oh my love….but you are. Depressed and wracked with a massive amount of guilt. ‘I broke up with her.’ So so defensive. Can’t let good doctor see this whole thing is crushing him. That would be weakness. He is fighting off a panic attack in this moment. So unsettled by this entire interaction. She is picking up on that guilt that is all but exuding out of him in this moment.

She really brings it home saying internalizing guilt and shame leads to self directed anger. Self harm and suicide. If that isn't Tim Bradford my god. The self directed anger is him in spades. His face while she tells him all this.. Oh my lord. She has him dead to rights once again. He is experiencing so much guilt about it and it’s written all over his face. Tim is barely keeping it together while she is telling him stonewalling will only get him sidelined. Honestly I’m glad she’s confronting him like this. Coming at him so hard cause Tim needs that especially right now.

He can’t have passive people in this life when it comes to this kind of stuff. The one person who could knock sense into him he’s pushed away. So Dr. London being here is much needed. Of course Tim snaps at Aaron cause he can’t handle what he’s currently going through. Lashing out because what she is saying to him is true and he isn't able to handle it. Hitting very close to home. So he's defaulting back to S1 Tim in this moment. Destroying Aaron in the process..

I love them talking about Tamara and the unconditional love Lucy has shown her. It’s so true. It’s that love that gave her courage to leave. Even though it's hard to watch happen. It shows what accepting unconditional love can do for you. Lucy bringing back to Tim because how could she not? Mentioning about letting people go even if you really care about them them. *sigh*. You can tell she is on the verge of tears once again.

That feeling where you've been keeping it inside for far too long. It comes out in anything you talk about. Like right now in this moment. Even talking about Tamara is cycling back to Tim and it shows how deeply upset she is. How could she not be? She is losing two of her people in one fail swoop. It's a miracle she hadn't lost it sooner than this moment tbh.

Lucy crushing me some more in this episode. Further proving she has zero idea why Tim did what he did. How he could let go so easily. It was a blindside for us all but none more than for her. His person. The one who never ever expected him to leave her side. Tim did leave her with a cheap cliche nonsense about deserving better. It's so much complex than that but I can see why she is so angry about that. She deserved better than that.

It’s what upset her so much in that 6x06 scene. Because it felt like a cop out to her. When it’s so much deeper than that but Lucy doesn’t know that. Thats what killing me and her. Lucy going off saying it was her decision to make what she deserves. It’s true. She is so justified in saying this. Sadly Tim made that decision despite her willingness to love him no matter what.

Took away her choice to keep him even if he felt he wasn't worthy. Wasn't just HIS choice to make. That's what pissing her off and rightfully so. He doesn’t understand the unconditional love she had to give him or how to accept it. All he could see was how much better she was without him. All she wants is a real conversation with him and she didn't get to have that. He took the choice away from her and she's left holding the emotional bag of it all and it sucks.

Punches keep rolling with Dr London. Attacking his problem at it's damaged root. As much as he is trying to bury it he cannot hide from her and her assessment of him. This is a huge turning point in the ep. Tim saying he owns his mistakes and moves on. So cut and dry and she isn’t having ANY of it. Nor should she. He hasn’t moved on in the slightest. Once again pegging him for not only not being over it but having his whole identity being wrapped up in acting honorably. If he was past that he wouldn’t have ended things with Lucy. We wouldn't be here. But he feels not worthy and not honorable enough for Lucy so he cut ties.

Her noting it’s had a devastating effect on his self esteem. Which is why he is punishing himself. i.e He let the love of his life go. He feels he doesn’t deserve such things for being so un-honorable. My broken boy. Tim isn’t sure what’s she is getting at. Asking what she's talking about? She continues to portray him accurately. That he is punishing himself by depriving himself of something he loves. Something that brings him joy. Or someone....Clearly that someone being Lucy.

The joy she brought to his life he no longer feels he deserves. Lucy was the one constant in his life that made him happy. So he’s depriving himself of it in order to punish himself. This sounds so harsh and severe but I relate to this. When I was new at my current job. I wasn’t very good at first. I was down right on the verge of being fired. I got a game plan to fix myself from my leader. BUT I was punishing myself for not being good enough in the first place. How did I do this? I took away something I loved and brought me joy. Music.

I refused to listen to music during my job because I felt I didn’t deserve it. I wouldn’t let myself enjoy it till I was better and had earned it back. I got to a place where I let myself have something I loved back and it helped so much and ultimately got me through it. So I relate to Tim doing this to himself i really do. He is denying the one person who brings him joy because of that self-punishment. He feels he has failed who he should be therefore he can't have what he wants and needs most. Lucy. You can really see it hit Tim by time Aaron rejoins them. She hit the nail on the head and Tim is feeling it.

Lucy spotting Tim and touching her tattoo SO MUCH. Ugh my heart. Her grounding method to remind herself she's a survivor. The problem with all that is him being the reason for that reminder. Which just hurts. I'm not crying you are....Tim so out of his depth all he can do is be awkward with his ‘Clocking out?’ Babe....No...(Also I feel personally attacked by this song they chose for this scene.)

Lucy calling him out for it instantly. Because well she’s his person. Bad place or not she is always gonna tell him what he needs to hear. Won't let him hide behind niceties. Confronting that things aren't ok between them and she won't let him use it to hide. Asking for a real adult conversation with him. One which he is NOT ready for. This hurt to watch not gonna lie. This whole situation hurts.

Tim deflects….with another cheap answer of saying he can’t give her what she wants. Ugh. You are everything she wants you foolish man. I don’t blame Lucy for cutting that convo off at the knees. She wanted more depth from him and got nothing in return. Telling him he has more to figure out than she realized…and feeling like she is no longer than person to help him with that.

My heart is breaking all over again… Lucy always felt she was his person to get him through anything and to hear this only hurts her further. Coming to that realization and taking off because of it. The song running through this scene is poignant and hurtful…Also the continual clutching to her tattoo as she departs from him. I'll just be weeping in the corner don't mind me....

I wasn't expecting the scene we got here in Grey's office. But was so pleasantly surprised. My hope was that Dr. London broke through to him. That his ride along with her wouldn't be a one-off. I’m so proud of Tim I can't even tell you. To not only see he has work to do but to ask if he could start seeing her as a patient. He seemed disappointed she didn't mandate sessions. Which he needed so he could advocate for himself. Blair had pegged him early on and I think this will be so so good for him.

His healing journey is starting now and I’m so excited for him. Even though my heart is outside my chest right now for our couple. This is going to be good for Tim. I know people have been weird about Dr London. I haven’t gotten a bad feeling from her. I could be wrong but haven't gotten that. I think this is the healing Eric was talking about. That journey he needs to be in order to find his way back to Lucy. Grey's line was perfect. It's SO hard to ask for help. Tim can see something is wrong and wants to fix it. This is a beautiful start to this journey for him.

This final scene with Tamara and Lucy made me cry. This whole ep has made me cry really. Their relationship has always been one of my favorites. To watch how they’ve both grown. How Tamara learned to trust again and receive that unconditional love Lucy had to give. Gah I love it so much. Took a broken untrusting girl and molded her into a confident bad ass. I've never been able to classify what they are. They're sisters, friends and family all wrapped up in one.

Hard to watch Lucy lose this piece of her life on top of everything else. Tim may have a lot of growth to do but I think Lucy too has room to grow from this all as well. She has been given quite the bad hand in this season. Maybe she can get some direction and clarity what she wants to do with career and such. I hate that she has to be the collateral damage to everything this year. It's hard to watch. But I am interested to see how she handles it all. See how she stands after all this. I think as hard as this is will end up making her more resilient.

Lucy been struggling with her own stuff this year as well. Being so good about pegging everyone around her but being blind in her own self awareness. it's going to be interesting to see how Lucy handles everything moving forward. I hope you all know how deeply my heart breaks for her. I don't like seeing her hurt anymore than I do Tim. I wanted to cry for her most of this episode. That being said I do think this growth journey will be good for her as well. Like Eric said she'll be ok they'll grow stronger from it. Can't wait to see how it plays out.

I wasn’t expecting one more scene with him reaching out like this. Telling her she was right. He’s mad himself. That stark realization that is coming over him. My god I’m so proud of him I could burst. Not only advocating for himself but telling her it was an emergency. When everything inside him is trying to do the 'honorable thing' and not call it an emergency when it is. To see he's not being a burden by reaching out like this. It’s so hard to take care of yourself when you don’t think much of yourself. It’s a foreign feeling and to act on it even more so.

Learning it’s ok to ask for help, to be imperfect, to set healthy boundaries and grow. Not an easy place to get to. This scene is HUGE for Tim. Now I mean this in the nicest way I can muster but If you can't grasp how groundbreaking this is for him you don't get him as a character at all. Nor do you understand the gravity of this SL/situation. Of what this final scene represents for him. Tim is seeing something is broken within himself and he doesn't know how to fix it. All he knows is something is wrong and he doesn't want to feel this way anymore. He wants to understand why and to get better.

I know I spent most of my 20's running away from therapy. Saying I didn't need it. That it was non sense. Pushing everything down and deflecting like Tim did. Wrapping my identity in the same things. Being SO DAMN HARD on myself. I still struggle with this but learning to give myself more grace. I can't properly explain the feeling you get when you realize you can't out run your demons anymore. What sets off something inside you that says 'I don't feel right, I don't know how to fix it but I know it's time to.' All I know is what sets it off is different for everyone.

For me it was the fact that I was set off by a kind comment. It was from a sweet lady who was a client of mine. Who commented on earrings my mother had gotten me. I hadn't thought much of it then she looked me in the eye with so much sincerity and said 'Your mother must love you very much.' That comment just hit me so hard. Triggered me. Cause some of my deepest seated trauma comes from my mom. I remember getting in my car and crying after. Texting my sister and telling her I thought it was time I got help. All I knew was something was wrong and it was clawing to the surface and I couldn't ignore it any longer.

That's Tim in this moment. Ray resurfacing was his demons coming up for air and not going away. This is his 'Come to Jesus.' moment about himself. Knowing what Dr. London was telling him today rang true. He just doesn't know to handle it and is reaching out for help to sort it out. Now He couldn’t gotten to this place without Lucy let’s not forget that. Tim wouldn't be in the place he is without her. BUT this is not Lucy's responsibility to fix. Nor should it be. As much as we love her being his person, this is Tim journey to go on.

Now my family/friends got me to place where I could see I needed help. Just like Lucy has for Tim. But it was up to me to take the first step. That's what this scene represents for him. His first step on his journey to healing himself. He knows he has work to do and I know he'll do it. He and I are alike and he will put his all into this. I'm excited the writers did what they did in this ep. Shows they're going to put the proper care into this SL. I can see a pathway way to their healing now and I feel like I can breathe for the first time in three weeks. I'm excited to see where the rest of the season goes for them both I really am. As always thank you for any likes, comments or reblogs I get for these they mean the world.

~~~

Side notes-non Chenford. Mostly lol

I like the idea of Celina moving in but she’s not wrong it would be an emotional minefield… but do love the idea of her living Lucy I don’t want her to be alone. Have one little win for her.

This was the song during that finale scene. Thank you D to finding the link above. it's Chenford Personified in this ep. Once again whoever is doing this songs. You need a damn raise this hurt so good. The lyrics were so Poignant and painful. These one were my fav. 'I miss you. I miss you. I’ll always forgive you."

She will forgive Tim because that's who Lucy is. One of the many reasons Tim fell in love with her. That never ending desire to trust people and forgive them. To see the best in them. She will look at the deeper meaning of his actions and help him past them once he gets there himself. He will have to earn that forgiveness of hers and I have no doubt he will.

This will be a process of that I have no doubt. It won't be quick or easy but my god it'll be worth it. They always are. I don't expect this to be resolved by seasons end but I do expect them to be on their way there by the finale. This is a beautiful growth journey they're about to embark on and I'm ready to go on it.

#Caitlin's mini reviews #chenford #6x07 Crushed #s6 #the rookie 6x07 #tim x lucy #tim bradford #lucy chen #lucy x tim #eric winter #melissa o'neil #the rookie #otp: doing my job #otp: unless it is

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byersbootyshorts · 1 year

Text

Blood and Tears (S.R.)

When Spencer takes a bullet for you, you struggle to come to terms with what’s just happened.

Word Count: 1,773

Warnings: s9!Spencer, gn!reader, angst, fluff at the end, Spencer getting shot, reader crying, a lot of blood, hospital

this doesn’t really follow the canon episode but I don’t care

You were in the middle of a shootout with a potential unsub. Bullets were flying everywhere and you had no idea where any of your teammates were. You were shooting blind into the building in front of you with no clue as to what your bullets were actually hitting. You heard a shout behind you and instinctually looked around towards the source of the cry. A cop had been hit in the shoulder and was writhing on the ground. The sudden sight of the injured cop caught you so off guard that you almost forgot there were bullets hurtling towards you, until you heard someone shout, “Y/N, watch out!”

And that was when everything started to go blurry. The voice you heard was Spencer’s, warning you of a bullet that was headed straight for you. And now that same bullet was lodged in his neck. He lay bleeding on the ground in front of you. You felt like you were in a trance, moving in slow motion as you dragged his limp body behind an SUV. Spencer’s eyes drifted shut and his breath hitched.

“Hey, Spence, keep your eyes on me,” you said frantically.

You pressed your hand firmly against his wound to try to stop the bleeding but blood still seeped between your fingers and showed no signs of stopping. Spencer kept his eyes open for only a few seconds before he began to lose consciousness.

“No, no, Spencer. Do not shut your eyes. Please, Spencer, look at me,” you panicked.

But his eyes stayed shut.

“Medic! I need a medic!” you screamed at the top of your lungs. You knew you should’ve called for help earlier but you as soon as you saw Spencer fall to the ground it was as if your brain stopped functioning.

“Spencer, open your eyes,” you urged him. “Hurry! Over here!” you called to some silhouettes in the distance who you hoped were medics.

Eventually the medics ran over to you and lifted Spencer onto a stretcher. You held his hand as the medics carried him to the ambulance and didn’t let go as they hoisted him into the back of the vehicle and started speeding to the hospital.

Everything was moving so fast. You could barely breathe. Your whole body was trembling with fear, shock and terror. You tried to make sense of the events that had just unfolded but you couldn’t seem to clear the fog that was clouding your brain. You hoped with every atom in your body that this was all just a bad dream and that you’d wake up to find Spencer lying safely next to you.

But while you didn’t wake up, Spencer did. His eyes opened just a crack and he mumbled incoherently, but at least he was awake. For a moment you felt like you weren’t in a nightmare. You felt that maybe he’d just get up as if nothing happened.

“Spencer, I’m right here. You’re ok,” you said, squeezing his hand.

But just as you felt relief wash over you there was a sudden beeping of machinery.

“Pressure’s dropping. Pulse is threading. Starting a large bore IV,” one of the medics quickly rambled.

“Huh?” you breathed, unable to comprehend what the medic was saying.

“Agent, you need to stand back,” the other medic ordered you.

You moved to the back of the ambulance and sat with your head in your hands, rocking back and forth.

“Stay with me. God, please stay with me, Spence,” you mumbled to yourself.

It wasn’t long (although to you it felt like hours) until you arrived at the hospital. More medics opened the doors of the ambulance and swiftly moved Spencer onto a gurney. Once again, you grabbed his hand as he was wheeled through the tall glass doors of the hospital. You raced down endless hallways until you reached the door to the operating room.

“Agent, you can’t come in here,” a surgeon told you.

“But, I-,” you began, but in your mind you knew you couldn’t be in there with him.

“I’m sorry. We’ll do everything we can,” the surgeon said as you let go of Spencer’s hand and watched as he disappeared into the operating room.

You didn’t know where to go so you slumped against a wall and onto the floor in the hallway that led to where Spencer was in surgery. About thirty minutes passed and you didn’t move from your position. You had your head between your knees. You couldn’t think. Your mind was reeling, trying to make sense of what had happened. You had heard Spencer shout. And then all of a sudden he was on the ground with blood spewing out of his neck. And then it hit you. That bullet was meant for you. He had tried to warn you and then jumped in front of you.

Before you had time to process your new realisation you heard familiar voices coming your way.

“Y/N, you ok?” Alex asked, her eyebrows furrowed with concern.

You looked up to see your team standing above you. All of them shared Alex’s worried expression.

“Spencer,” was all you could manage to mumble.

“We know,” Hotch said. “How long has he been in surgery?”

“I don’t know,” you whispered. Morgan leaned down beside you and helped you off the floor. You noticed the bandage around his arm. Still, your teammates maintained their concerned expressions.

“Hey, how about we go get you cleaned up?” JJ asked softly, holding out her hand to you.

“What?” you said, not understanding why you needed to be ‘cleaned up’. JJ grabbed your hand and for the first time you saw it.

You looked down at your hands and saw that they were covered in blood. Your sleeves were drenched red. You could only imagine what your face looked like considering you’d been sitting with your head in your hands. Your entire face was probably stained with blood.

Spencer’s blood. Not your blood. Spencer’s.

And that’s when everything came crashing down on you. The fact that Spencer had saved your life. The fact that he was in critical condition, fighting for his life because he took a bullet that was meant for you. The fact that you were covered in his blood. So much blood you couldn’t fathom how he could possibly still be alive.

Every realisation hit you at once and, for the first time, you cried. A loud sob escaped you and you almost fell to the floor before Alex caught you and pulled you into a hug. You were staining her clothes with blood but you didn’t care. You wept into her shoulder and she rubbed your back gently.

When you pulled away from her she said, “Why don’t you go with JJ now?” You did as she asked and followed JJ down the hallway, further and further away from Spencer.

It had been hours. JJ had helped wash the blood off you and got you a change of clothes. Once you’d started crying it had been hard to stop. Your body was alternating between sobbing and going numb. Different members of the team had come over and attempted to comfort you but you couldn’t concentrate on what they were saying. All you could focus on was the door that you hoped a doctor would walk through to tell you Spencer was out of surgery.

And finally, a doctor appeared.

“Spencer Reid,” he announced to the waiting room.

“Yes,” you said, practically leaping from your chair. The whole team crowded around the doctor.

“He’s stable.”

Every one of you sighed in relief. A tear rolled down your face and Morgan rubbed your arm.

“I knew that kid was a fighter,” Rossi smiled.

“Can I see him,” you asked, your throat hoarse from shouting and crying.

“He’s not awake yet, but yes, you can see him,” the doctor said.

He led you down more narrow corridors to a recovery room. When you entered you saw Spencer lying unconscious on the bed. His neck was wrapped with bandages and his face was paler than you’d ever seen it. But apart from that he looked no different than how he looked before being shot.

You darted across the room and pulled a chair over to the bedside. You laced your fingers in his and couldn’t help but cry again. Except this time they weren’t tears of sadness, but tears of relief.

You laid your head on the bed, your hand still holding his, waiting for him to wake up. You had no idea how long you’d been there when you felt Spencer’s fingers start to twitch against your hand. You whipped your head up from the sheets to see Spencer’s eyes slowly flicker open.

“Oh my God,” you sniffed.

Spencer turned his head towards you, trying to figure out where he was. When he finally got his bearings he smiled tiredly at you.

“Why are you crying? I’m the one who got shot,” he said groggily, wiping a tear from your cheek.

You let out a choked chuckle and kissed his hand.

“It’s kind of hard not to cry when you don’t know if the man you love is dead or alive,” you replied.

“Well, I’m pretty sure I’m alive,” Spencer smiled weakly up at you.

You stared into his eyes for a moment, so happy to see them open again. Spencer shifted in the bed slightly and winced when he moved his neck.

“You shouldn’t have done that,” you said, helping him readjust his pillows.

“Done what?” Spencer asked, as if it wasn’t obvious.

“That bullet was meant for me.”

“I’m not sorry,” Spencer said bluntly.

“Well, you should be,” you told him off. “Don’t ever do that again.”

“Hmm, I’m not really in a rush to try it again. Once was enough for me,” Spencer joked.

“I’m serious, Spence. I cannot lose you,” you said, placing your hand on his chest. “I love you.”

“I love you too. That’s why I took that bullet for you.”

You took a deep breath and finally allowed your muscles to relax. You closed your eyes and took a moment to let all the stress of the past couple of hours drain from your body. When you opened your eyes again, Spencer was staring up at you longingly.

“Now, can you please kiss me because I want to kiss you but I can’t really move,” he said, pointing at his bandages.

“If you insist,” you smiled, leaning down gently, making sure not to move his neck too much. You placed your lips on his and tried to forget all the blood and tears you’d just endured.

#spencer reid #dr spencer reid #gn!reader #spencer reid angst #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid gifs #spencer reid one shot #criminal minds #angst oneshot #fluff oneshot #angst fic #fluff fic

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quasi-normalcy · 10 months

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If I could reboot Voyager, here are some of the changes I'd make.

Much more serialization. Still mostly episodic, of course, but things that happen in one episode would have lasting repercussions. If the ship gets damaged, well it's going to stay damaged, or they're going to have to figure out how to effect repairs. Maybe have seasonal "big bads", like Buffy.

Play up the initial conflict with the Maquis for the first few seasons, and give the Maquis actual ideological objections to the Federation (a la Eddington on Deep Space Nine), rather than just making them generically rough and tumble. There would be a whole arc where some of the Maquis talk some of the lower-ranking Starfleet officers around to their side on the grounds that Janeway effectively has a dictatorship over them for their entire lives and she's too hidebound and is squandering opportunities to get onside with possible local allies. There'll be an actual mutiny (or at least an attempted mutiny) in the first few seasons, but it will fail because Chakotay (we'll come to him in a minute) opposes it; but the ship will settle into a much more egalitarian social structure nonetheless

Seska will remain on the ship after being unmasked as a Cardassian spy, claiming asylum under the terms of the Federation-Cardassian treaty that created the De-Militarized Zone. Her presence will be a major source of the friction between the Maquis and Starfleet crews, because it turns out that her espionage actually got some of their comrades killed back in the Alpha Quadrant

Give nuance to the Kazon; play up the generational trauma inherent to their backstory, and maybe make Culluh an ambitious but sympathetic empire-builder, rather than just a violent thug

Present the Kazon as more of an actual culture with their own arts and accomplishments, rather than just as Space Gangbangers.

Two waves of despair will rock the ship for several episodes. The first when they've been stranded for a few months and the reality of their situation hits them; the second when they get in touch with the AQ and find out that the Maquis have been exterminated.

Pick an actual indigenous nation for "Chakotay" to belong to and hire actual consultants from that nation for the writing staff. It will presumably be necessary to rename the character accordingly.

Really flesh out the minor characters on the crew: Carey, Ayala, Tal Celes, Suder, Vorik, Jonas, that cosmology grad student on the lower decks who didn't want to be on the ship in the first place. All of them will make the ship feel more like an actual place with the same nine characters doing everything; and when one of them dies, it will hurt.

Relatedly, all of the people who die in the first episode will have names and friendships with the crew, and their deaths will actually mean something.

Explore the comedic and dramatic potential of Starfleet crewmen having to be roomies with Maquis terrorists. I'm thinking some initial "Odd Couple" shenanigans, growing into friendship, with a sort of hurt-comfort romance emerging after they find out that all of the Maquis back in the AQ are dead.

Give Neelix more of a dangerous streak. The first episode made him out to be a shifty conman and the first season established that he had serious PTSD. I want to see more of that Neelix.

Have it take a full season just to de-Borg Seven of Nine. Her character progress is reflected in how many of her implants she has.

Have Seven of Nine push back more on the narrow canons of "humanity" that she's expected to perform; and have it go both ways; maybe instead of it just treating it like a joke when she proposes, for example, that someone try Borg regeneration, they actually take her up on this, and Janeway is accordingly horrified. You could get a neat plot about bodily autonomy out of this.

Establish that the Borg hivemind has developed a sort of "neurosis" around humanity and Voyager, stemming from the fact that they required Voyager's help to defeat Species 8472. This is the Queen motivation for wanting Seven of Nine back in "Dark Frontier"

Kes still ascends, but she hangs around somewhat longer. And she's doing and trying lots of things, rather than just hanging around sickbay most of the time.

Have Seven spend more time with Tuvok; maybe adopt Vulcan philosophy

There are no holodecks for the first few seasons because they need to conserve power. When they finally get them up and running, it's a big frigging deal. Before that, there's a whole plot where someone (Tom Paris) uses the emergency medical holoprojectors to make Sickbay into a holodeck, much to the Doctor's consternation. Janeway, however, allows it for a few hours a day as a means of building crew morale.

They build alliances and trade networks in the Delta Quadrant, and eventually realise that this is home for them now

#star trek voyager

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tryingtofindava · 8 months

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pls im begging for dating ticci toby headcanons 🙏🙏

𝐃𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 ‘𝐓𝐢𝐜𝐜𝐢’ 𝐓𝐨𝐛𝐲 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬*ೃ༄

tw: mention of manic episode.

: ̗̀➛ Back to source

My god.

This boy is full of so much love.

Y’all take FOREVER to actually get together.

It got to the point where Toby got frustrated and was all like “should I just kill them?” (Assuming you ain’t a proxy)

What I’m tryna say is he’s sorta oblivious to his feelings towards you.

But he’s so scared to get attached to you, cuz every time he’s ever gotten close to someone they die.

But when y’all (finally) get together after a long ahh slow burn.

YOU TWO ARE LITERALLY THE CUTEST OMD.

He was so surprised that you said yes when he asked you out. Like- you? The pretty girl who he had the the pleasure of becoming friends with???? Says yes to him????

He’s so happy

Buttttttttttttttt.

So awkward it’s almost painful.

Onetime you kissed him on his cheek, bro was all like ‘🧍’

But when you guys get past that awkward stage? You guys are practically attached to the hip.

And I know most of the fandom hates the ‘soft Toby’ stereotype, but I feel like that’s just how he is w you (though he does have his moments…)

Lots of reassurance. It’s needed if y’all wanna last.

He isn’t used to have someone be so affectionate towards him. Since deadass the only person who’s showed him genuine love was Lyra.

When y’all first met, he’d always wear a massive ass bandage over the gash on his cheek.

Every time you saw it you gave him the ‘🤨’ look, which he’s just shrug it off. And when you’d ask him about it, he’d say something like:

“It’s ruh-rude to ask t-that.”

He’d even continue wearing it INTO your dating life, he’ll eventually cave in since it’s been around 8 months of him wearing it around you. And a wound would normally be healed by now.

He wasn’t at all surprised by your reaction of shock.

He’ll always have it on out of the apartment though. No exceptions.

He calls you ‘pretty thing’ sm it becomes a tic.

Eskimo kisses? Eskimo kisses.

He try’s his best to keep the whole murder part of his life away from you. But it’s obvious so… that was one long night of going over things.

Anywaysssss.

AQUARIUM DATES! Y’all get in your grandpa jumpers and walk around the aquarium holding hands and looking at all the cool fish n’ shit.

HE LOVES LOVES LOVES NECK KISSES.

He’s a slut for knowing he’s yours.

He loves teasing the shit outta you for being short. Even though he’s like 3 inches taller

“I’ve been b-breaking my buh-back k-k-kissing you, babe.”

“Piss off.”

He loves laying between your legs with his face flushed against your chest while you run your fingers through his hair and itch his scalp.

When you guys are sleeping, you’ll constantly have to make sure he doesn’t get too over headed or cold due to his CIPA.

Speaking of sleeping, he grinds his teeth while he’s dreaming. So just gently grab his chin to stop him. And he’s a deep ass sleeper so he won’t feel it lol.

He isn’t a big fan of PDA when you guys aren’t behind closed doors, but he’ll ALWAYS hold your hand.

On the less sappy note, when he’s having a tic attack he will not allow you to come near him. He’s so scared of hurting you.

And when he’s having an episode?

Make sure you stay calm. And maybe get to him before he gets to you. He’ll be so upset if he did hurt you while going through one of his schizophrenic like states.

To help him through his manic episode, stay as calm as you can, let him know that, although you don’t share the belief that it’s real, you understand that it is real to him. Try and keep focused on supporting him with how he’s feeling in that moment, rather than confirming or challenging his reality.

If he does snap at you, he’ll feel so guilty. He will think that he’s just like his dad.

He’ll probably disappear for a few days, but when he comes back he’s begging for you to not leave him. Like he’s full on sobbing.

Hold him.

He’s clingy. Like super clingy. Clingy to the point where it just becomes obnoxious. And gets a bit irritating but he means well :(

He loves you like a dog, and he’ll do anything for you. He trusts you with his whole being and hopes you feel the same.

✯.★*°•.°✯•.★*°°·.•°★•✯.★*°•.°✯•.★*°°·.•°★•

#ticci toby x reader #ticci toby headcanons #ticci toby #creepy pasta #creepypasta x reader #creepypasta reader #creepypasta headcanon #fluff

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lurkingshan · 5 months

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Intergenerational Trauma Challenge - 180 Degree Longitude Passes Through Us

It’s winter and I’m huddled up in my house hiding from the cold weather, so obviously this is the perfect time to tackle another entry on the intergenerational family trauma challenge list. This week I finally watched 180 Degree Longitude Passes Through Us, a Thai drama about Wang, a young man just coming of age who is desperately seeking answers about his father’s death; Sasiwimol, Wang’s very complicated mother who does not want to dig up the past; Inthawut, his father’s best friend who has been hiding from it for years; and Siam, the black hole at the center of this story.

Before I dig into the trauma themes, let me just say that this show is excellent, if not for everyone. It has a very intentional style that makes it feel like a stage play—the writer is a playwright—and it’s basically eight episodes of very intense conversations. It’s not a romance and there’s an intellectualism in the writing that I found kept me at an emotional remove from the characters even as I marveled at how well crafted the dialogue is. And the dialogue is very important, which is why the translation of this drama is much stronger than we typically get from Thai productions—the words matter. It’s also loaded with visual metaphors and is all around beautiful to look at, and the three main performers are fantastic. I highly recommend it to anyone who likes theater, stories about complicated families, or beautiful and talented actors showing their work. And more than anything else, this show does incredibly strong thematic work and its messaging is on point: this is a story about how noble idiocy ruins lives.

So, with that said, onto the trauma! Spoilers ahead, and I am assuming anyone reading past this point has watched the show. Some themes you’ll see in this one: taboo, denial of queer identity, homophobia, filial piety, and lots of emotional manipulation. Shoutout to @bengiyo and @twig-tea for reading this to make sure I didn’t miss anything in this complex story.

There are two main sources of intergenerational trauma radiating down toward Wang: the absence of his father, Siam, and his intense relationship with his mercurial mother, Sasiwimol. The story is structured around Wang’s determination to seek answers about Siam—both who he was and how he died. He has grown up knowing a certain story: that his parents met and fell in love in college but divorced when he was young, that his father loved him very much despite not staying with his mother, and that his father was an alcoholic who died in a drunk driving accident. Shortly after his father’s death, his mom put him in boarding school so she could focus on her career and became a weekend parent to him—as she was not around to structure his day to day life, their relationship became more about her taking him on fun adventures and spoiling him when she had time off, treating each other as best friends instead of like a mother and son, and never talking about Siam. He has always suspected there was more to the story of his parents that he was not being told, and as he has grown up, come into his own queerness, and picked up on his mother’s casual homophobia and obsessive devotion to compulsory heteronormativity, his suspicions about the secret his mom was holding became sharper.

Enter Inthawut. Inthawut was Siam’s best friend, and with nothing to go on but a set of old pictures, Wang has an instinctual certainty that he is the key to the secret he’s seeking. And thus he engineers a way for he and his mom to “coincidentally” stumble onto Inthawut’s property and get invited to stay a few days in his isolated home, at which point Wang begins his campaign to figure out what the hell happened between Siam, Sasiwimol, and Inthawut at any cost.

One of the things I find most interesting about this story is how much the plot hinges on Wang going against Asian cultural norms in his pursuit of the truth. He is not respectful to his elders. He does not maintain filial piety and deference to his mother. He refuses to restrain his emotions. Instead, he is pushy and relentless and emotionally manipulative (all tricks we can plainly see he learned from Sasiwimol) and Inthawut doesn’t stand a chance against him. And so, because Wang explicitly acts against these cultural values, the truth comes out and the trauma is no longer suppressed.

And in the end, it’s a simple, if desperately sad story: Siam and Inthawut were in love, but Inthawut was battling internalized homophobia and deep-seeded fear and so he relentlessly pushed Siam away and toward dating and then marrying their friend Sasiwimol. And when Siam, miserable in this heterosexual relationship he never actually wanted, finally snapped and confessed his true feelings, Inthawut rejected him and ran away to study abroad. Inthawut was running due to his own fear, but he also had noble notions of somehow protecting Siam from his own queerness and told himself that if he was gone, Siam would accept his heterosexual life. Of course, that did not happen, and in the fallout of this rejection Siam sank further into alcoholism and died soon after. Inthawut’s reaction was the exact worst fear of all gay people who work up the courage to confess to a friend they have developed feelings for: outright rejection, abandonment, and destruction of the relationship. And in his mind, he did this to Siam “for his own good,” a fairly textbook execution of the noble idiocy trope. In the aftermath, we see how Inthawut has isolated himself, part in penance, part in self-protection, and intellectualized his way to a romantic construction of his own cowardice that he tries to convince Wang is righteous.

But Wang is deeply affected by how the denial of his father’s queerness ruined his life and is absolutely not having any of Inthawut’s self-denying bullshit, and this is where things get messy, as both Wang and Inthuwat seem to start seeing Wang and Siam as interchangeable and they develop an emotional entanglement that is deeply unhealthy, to say the least. Wang wants to understand Siam so badly that he starts to be him, and Inthuwat is so desperate to address his regret and shame that he starts to see Wang as Siam, as well. Wang also uses this attachment as a way to shock his mother and forcefully bring her real feelings about Siam and Inthawut to the surface. Despite Wang’s many loud protestations to the contrary, I don’t believe that he and Inthawut actually love each other. They are using each other to work out their trauma about Siam.

And they’re not the only ones! Sasiwimol seems to have her own psychological confusion about Wang as he relates to Siam, and their dynamic is very strange as a result. She refers to Wang as dua-eeng (and has taught him to do the same with her rather than calling her “mom”), a Thai endearment that literally means “self” but is often used between lovers. They have a very physically affectionate relationship that often had me grimacing in discomfort, and she clearly sees Wang as both a source of pain—because he is so like Siam—and her one source of comfort and happiness. She is a successful woman by any standard, but she’s also desperately lonely, hanging on tight to Wang as her only companion in a way that often veers into overbearing, and deeply wounded by her past with Siam and Inthawut. It was through her own friendship with Inthawut that she pursued Siam in the first place, and she clearly feels betrayed not only by Siam, but by Inthawut, both for getting in the way of her relationship with Siam and for leaving them. Her feelings about both men are complex and the story never fully spells them out, in part because Sasiwimol never does. Determinedly not thinking about what happened between them is a big part of how she copes, along with sublimating her suspicions into homophobia, which she perpetuates quite intentionally in her work via production of heterosexual romance propaganda.

Wang clearly loves his mother even as he is frustrated by her prejudices, her desire to control him, and her tendency toward emotional manipulation. He is a perceptive kid and he has studied her closely; he understands her very well and can often predict exactly how she’ll react to a situation. Which is why his decision to announce baldly to her face that he is in love with Inthawut—not only coming out as gay but declaring his intention to move out of her home and in with a man 20+ years his senior who is deeply entangled with her own trauma—felt very intentional to me. He knew what kind of reaction that would get from her, and he wanted it. And sure enough, Sasiwimol crumbles at this repetition of her trauma and the perceived disloyalty of Wang choosing Inthawut over her just as his father did. The rest of the emotion she’d been holding back comes pouring out, resulting in the three of them finally airing out everything that lies between them and everything they are feeling about the Siam-shaped hole in their lives. And once she breaks down, Wang is able to forgive her for the grievance she’s caused him and ultimately decides to remain filial and continue living with her, because he does not actually want to punish his mother for what happened to his father.

So, in the end, where did the story leave us with all this trauma? I can’t really say that any of these characters have healed, but I do think Wang kick-started that process, at least for himself. He got what he needed most out of this little scheme: deeper understanding of who his father was and why his life took such a drastic turn. He remains caught in the dysfunctional dynamic with his mother, and I’m not sure he’ll ever fully break out of it, but at least there is more honesty between them now about what they’re dancing around. She now knows he is gay and she has to accept it to keep him with her, and given that he has backed off from asking her to accept something much scarier than that, I do think she will find a way to make her peace with it. Inthawut is the character who seems to have progressed the least, standing firmly in his stasis and remaining determinedly alone with his pain, though the show leaves us with a note of ambiguity that suggests he may someday find the courage to move on.

The messages of this work are clear. Internalized homophobia and denial of your own queerness are poison for your soul. Rejecting a loved one “for their own good” is an act of cowardice and selfishness, not an act of love. Hiding from and sublimating your trauma will never allow you to heal. Refusing to process your pain will only lead to you pushing it down on the next generation. Ultimately, this story told us that bravely looking ourselves and our trauma in the face and confronting our truths head on is the only way to begin to heal, and that running from them only leads to ruin.

#180 degree longitude passes through us #thai drama #intergenerational trauma challenge #shan shouts into the void

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buffyfan145 · 5 months

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Word of warning we just got a ton of possible leaks about season 2 of "Rings of Power" coming from The One Ring Net source. However, I will point out while a few of these seem possible this reminds me a lot of other "leaked" things for my other fandoms, especially DC and Marvel movies/shows, and most of those turned out to be false and fans just posting things for their own enjoyment. However, this is how it first leaked that Halbrand was Sauron before season 1 aired. Some of these do match scoops/spoilers we've gotten from Fellowship of Fans an interviews with the cast, but some of these are so out of left field. I'll post a breakdown under a cut of the major ones but you can see the post in full here. But I will point out some of these would be massive changes to the lore that even I'd be shocked if they do it, so again we'll see.

So the first thing that matches what FOF and even Charlie Vickers teased is that season 2 is going to show a lot of Sauron flashbacks and tell his side of the story and that we'll be in on his plans the whole time. But according to this post the Mairon version is a separate actor and that Gavi is actually the Annatar version but Halbrand/Charlie is still the main one going forward.

They're saying the Tolkien estate gave Amazon more access to "The Silmarillion" and we will see all the Valar, Maiar, Eru (he's just a voice though so we won't see a person), Melkor/Morgoth, Mairon (even called this name), Gandalf/Mithrander (who is Daniel's The Stranger), and even Ungoliant as we get this full backstory in the show.

Halbrand will go back to the dwarves and reveal he's Mairon to them and they truth him because of Aule.

It'll be revealed that Sauron/Mairon had a son and Adar killed him, which was why the line Adar said about "a woman or a child" was said in s1. No idea who the boy's mother is but possibly Amelia Kenworthy's character. This is a huge departure but would be interesting to have Sauron/Mairon/Halbrand actually have been a father and the 2nd Maiar besides Melian to have children.

Gandalf/Mithrander will also have flashbacks, including that he almost sided with Mairon, and even introduce Shadowfax.

Tom Bombadil and Goldberry will appear, which we already saw a leak about this possibly happening last year.

Supposedly Halbrand/Sauron does keep up his infatuation with Galadriel but actually goes back to Eregion not as just Annatar but as Celeborn!!! 😮 So they don't rescue Celeborn after all but it is Sauron/Halbrand and it's making it sound like there's romantic scenes between them but again it's actually Sauron/Halbrand with Galadriel and not Celeborn. I know some of us Haladriel shippers have written this exact thing in our fics and if this really does happen that again hints that Sauron/Halbrand really could be Celebrian's biological father which I would be shocked if the show did this even though I'd also love it. LOL Then add in if they do this change where Sauron had a son that died and possibly ends up having a daughter with Galadriel. It does sound like the real Celeborn does come back too at some point so if this happens this is going to be interesting, even though I know a lot of the purists and regular LOTR fans might hate it.

The season does end with Sauron forging the One Ring, which FOF has also been speculating. The thing is if Galadriel will be with him when he does as FOF reported on her being captured by Adar during the Battle of Eregion with this also confirms happens in the last 2 episodes.

They're also saying too that the season will also end with Galadriel making a choice to save either real Celeborn and/or Sauron/Halbrand as Celeborn, which again could point to above that she gets captured and then decides to stay with him. So this is going to be very interesting if any of these turn out to be true.

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miraculouslbcnreactions · 3 months

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The Many Failures of Lila's Writing

There are three main issues with Lila Rossi (or whatever her name is): she was introduced too early, she doesn't fill a unique role in the story, and her lies are too over the top for her to feel like a good villain. Let's go through that list in order because the issues build to create the show's most annoying character even though her setup could have lead to a legitimately great character who we would have all loved to hate.

Issue 1: Lila Shows Up Three Seasons Too Early

Lila is introduced in the final episode of season one and then essentially disappears from the show for a full season. The only time we see her in season two is her brief appearance in season two's finale where she takes on the role of Volpina again in order to help Gabriel fake Ladybug's death. That's also the episode where we learn that Lila has been "in Achu" for some unknown amount of time.

[image: a list of Lila's season two appearances (source)]

Season three sees Lila show up with reasonable regularity (8 episodes, none of which are two-parters) and we get a real conflict with her, truly establishing her as a villain who lies like crazy and who wants to destroy Marinette.

Then season four comes and Lila is once again forgotten about. She shows up more than she did in season two, but only as a background character and most episodes don't see her at all. She doesn't have a single line until the final three episodes of the season and her role in these episodes is exceedingly minor. She does a few petty things to remind you that she's awful, but she's not the focus of the plot. She's just there to remind you that she exists and to establish her and Chloe as coconspirators of some sort.

[image: a list of Lila's season four appearances (source)]

Then season five comes and Lila is back to being an active antagonist. She shows up in almost every episode and we even get her very lackluster defeat.

This is some of the worst pacing that I have ever seen. It's honestly impressively bad. I hope the issue speaks for itself, but in case it doesn't, you don't chop a story up like this without a good reason and, frankly, their isn't one. Lila's introduction, villain setup, and defeat should have all take place over the course of a season or two, forming a mini arc.

Just in case you don't know what that is, most stories have a main conflict that drives the whole narrative (ex: getting the butterfly miraculous back) but within that story you have lots of mini stories. Things that get resolved so that it feels like things are moving forward and so that the audience stays engaged. If you don't get any satisfying resolutions until five seasons in (or more), then the audience will start to get annoyed or just stop watching. It's also a good way to keep expectations from getting built up too high. If every season or every other season has a satisfying conclusion to some big conflict, then you don't leave everything riding on the big finale.

By chopping Lila's story up, you made the audience spend four seasons dreaming of her defeat. Expectations were sky high. She's more hated than Gabe! If she's been introduced mid season 4 and had the exact same story arc, then her lackluster take down would be a mild disappointment and not a major issue for most of the fandom.

Issue 2: Lila and Chloe Should Never have Coexisted

When it comes to story telling, characters fill roles. Ladybug is the lead. Alya is the plucky best friend. Gabriel is the big bad. Etc. Etc.

Generally speaking, you only want one character in a given role. Having two or more characters in the same role leads to character bloat where characters are fighting for screen time because they don't have a clear place in the story. This is especially true for key antagonistic roles. It's a lot easier to balance two best friends than it is to balance two big bads.

Enter Chloe and Lila.

I've mentioned before that I thought that Chloe was going to be redeemed. The reason I thought this was not because of anything to do with Chloe. It was because the show introduced Lila and, narratively speaking, Lila and Chloe are the same character. They're both petty school bullies whose main job is to cause trouble for Marinette while she's at school and to give setups for akumas.

However, in terms of perceived threat, Lila is the bigger badder Chloe. No one but Sabrina likes Chloe. Everyone but Marinette likes Lila. Chloe doesn't make plans. Lila lives to manipulate and plot. If you're going to get ride of Chloe, Lila is who you'd replace her with. That's just how this works.

One of the most well known examples of this type of setup is Zuko and Azula from Avatar the Last Airbender. Zuko is the main antagonist of season one, but season two sees him step out of that role as he starts his journey of self-discovery and redemption. And who is introduced at the end of seasons one? Azula, Zuko's evil, more powerful sister. In season two, Azula fills Zuko's former role, but also makes things feel more serious because she's a bigger badder Zuko.

This brings us back to a big part of issue one. Namely, Lila's ongoing disappearing act. She only does that because of Chloe.

Chloe is a much easier villain to write. She doesn't have to hide anything. She is openly petty and evil. So if you're going to pick a character for a petty conflict, you're going to pick Chloe. The only time Lila gets pulled in is when the drama revolves around lies because Chloe is actually a strikingly honest character. She rarely lied prior to her "friendship" with Lila because, for the most part, Chloe doesn't care if everyone hates her. She only cares about the opinions of a chosen few. (Or, at least, she acts like she does.)

For Lila to work, Chloe needed to be redeemed or written off the show. The best proof of this is seasons five, where Chloe straight up becomes Lila's minion because the writers had to force that relationship if they wanted to have both characters involved in the plot. It's also why season four saw Chloe suddenly obsessed with Marinette when, prior to that, Chloe bullied everyone. The only way to team Chloe and Lila up was to give them a common goal and that didn't exist in the first three seasons.

So, building off of point one, Lila should have been introduced much later and she should have stepped into Chloe's shoes after Chloe either switched roles or completely left the show.

Issue 3: The Lies

I think that we can all agree that Lila is a terrible liar. Even a toddler could see through the BS that spews from her mouth. There are multiple satisfying Lila takedown fics that don't involve clever plots to beat her. They involve Alya or someone else doing a google search because - even with the declining quality of that tool - that's still all that it would take to prove what Lila is.

This is a really bad way to write a character who is supposed to be a master manipulator. Especially when she's going to be the next big bad. They desperately needed to tone her down.

For example, DON'T have her claim to be Ladybug's best friend. Have her claim that Ladybug saved her. That would still go up on the Ladyblog and, more importantly, it would be a lot harder to disprove. I doubt that Ladybug remembers everyone she saves so no one would fault Alya for just taking that at face-value, but Marinette could still instantly peg Lila as a liar.

Tinnitus from saving Jagged Stone's cat? How about tinnitus from being too close to the speakers at Jagged Stone's latest concert? The concert where Lila even got to meet him because she had back stage passes. Once again, hard to disprove. Jagged meets a lot of fans. I doubt he'd be able to tell you that she was lying.

And definitely don't have her openly state that she's a liar. The fact that she did that and was STILL able to manipulate the adult characters is abysmal writing. Especially because it comes right before Lila disappears for a season, giving the impression that her confession essentially defeated her, only for the show to go PSYCH! No one cares about her confession, it meant nothing for the Lila conflict.

I've had someone tell me that they think that Lila's lies were suppose to be a joke and, to be fair, that's plausible. The show relies on a lot of ridiculous humor. If Lila had shown up later, then this might have worked. But because Lila has been around for so long, we've all had time to think about her lies and build up the expectation of how they'd be handled.

I don't just mean Lila being exposed. I mean the fallout of all of her "fans" having to deal with the truth of who Lila really is, an issue that I won't go into here because this is already super long and I think that the issue of how her lies effect characters like Nino and Alya is pretty well understood.

There's also the Chloe thing. Chloe is very over the top, so replacing her with a character who is over the top in a different, more terrifying way would have made some sense. But Chloe's still here and she's more ridiculous than ever, so Lila matching that ridiculous just makes them an annoying duo that we all have to suffer through. Their team up was one of the most forced elements of seasons five. I just do not buy that Chloe would ever subject herself to being someone's minion. When it comes to that team up, the hand of the author is glaring.

Conclusion/Final Thoughts

Manipulative characters are fun. They make for fantastic villains and Lila could have been one of these fantastic villain, especially if Gabriel was played as more sympathetic. If there were lines that Gabriel wouldn't cross, then Lila getting the butterfly would be terrifying. As-is, I don't see how she's any worse than the dude who created Chat Blanc. Plus I'm not even sure why she needs the butterfly. She could already get anything she wanted with minimal effort because her lying powers are so OP. Like, why should I care about that twist? What has changed with the passing of the butterfly? The stakes have not been raised. If anything, they've been lowered.

Lila is just your generic evil villain who is evil for evil's sake. The heroes already hate her. Finding out that she's the big bad is not emotionally devastating. If anything, Marinette should be thrilled that she finally has an excuse to punch Lila.

It's possible that the writers will give Lila an interesting back story, but because she's been around for five seasons, I don't have any faith that they will. I mean, what was the point of introducing her all the way back in season one if you weren't going to use that to set her up in a satisfying way? I've seen people say to just wait and see and wait for what? They couldn't manage to pull off Gabriel's defeat or Chloe's defeat/redemption or Lila's first takedown in a way that was narratively satisfying. Why should I give them a chance to disappoint me with Lila's next take down? Three strikes and you're out!

@tallwriter as requested, there are my thoughts on Lila. As with every character in this show, I think she deserved better. She could have been great. She's one of the worst examples of squandered potential because everything about her was done wrong.

#ml writing salt #ml writing critical #ml season 5 salt #Lila salt #Lila Rossi salt #Lila Rossi deserves better #She's got everything she needs to be the kind of character we all love to hate #Instead I see her and I just go “oh no not her. The writing is so bad when she's around.”

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dazaiandhislovelybandages · 8 months

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In his own way {Gintoki Sakata}

Summary: Gintoki picks up on you being stressed and makes it his mission to make you feel better without you figuring him out

Pairing: Gintoki x fem!reader

Trigger Warnings: mentions of stress, anxiety

Gintoki is no fool. He can appear as ignorant, but he is not. Especially when something happens to the people he cares about.

A week had passed by since he first picked up on your strange behaviour. He couldn't really explain it himself and he wasn't planning on asking Kagura or Shimura.

"You know... I thought we had agreed on shouldering each other’s pain." He looked at you through the mirror of the small bathroom. He was lucky that you lived opposite from Odd Jobs because it was heavily snowing.

"Sorry?" You turned around to look at him, obviously confused.

After spending most of yesterday's evening and the night together, he had noticed that you were in better spirits than the past week. But that didn't mean he would give up on learning what was wrong.

"You are straightening your hair."

"I am."

"It's naturally wavy."

"It is."

"Do you know how many times I've gotten into trouble just because I have naturally wavy hair? I thought we were in this together."

It wasn't exactly what he wanted to say but he hoped you would understand. The confused look on your face showed him that you didn't.

He didn't bothered you more than that though. He knew that you had promised Kagura to take her to this new ramen shop a few streets away from Odd Jobs.

But when you walked in with Kagura and you weren't smiling, he knew something was up. Kagura always made you smile.

Not moving his eyes away from you, he let his JUMP issue on the couch and stood up. He was lucky that Kagura and Shinpachi weren't paying attention because he practically glued himself on you.

"I thought we were in this together..."

"You said the same thing this morning as well." You sighed and removed your scarf.

"You ate that new chocolate cake from the pastry shop."

"No, I actually ordered mochi, why?" His eyes narrowed. To you it looked like he didn't believe you but that wasn't the case. "Are you angry because I ordered mochi?"

"No, I am angry because you don't seem to understand that we are in this together." He stuffed his pinky finger in his nostril, searching for boogers.

A small pause followed. He could read it on your face that you had understood what he was trying to say. And he was glad that it didn't take you more than that to tell him what had been bothering you the past week.

Like he had imagined, it was your anxiety. He stayed silent as you explained the issue. It wasn't a major one and it was unlikely that it would actually happen but it still bothered you and because of that, he was there to listen.

"Good girl." He let out a sigh and patted your head before turning around to leave.

"You can't just... I poured my heart out! Calling me a good girl doesn't-"

"Oh trust me it does." He turned around, pinky already in his nostril. "My job isn't to feed you lies to calm you down." He said softly as he removed his pinky from his nose, wiping it on his robe. "I prefer giving you something else to think about." He smirked and leaned down to kiss your cheek.

A/n: this is the first time I'm writing for Gintoki, you are free to request him but keep in mind I'm still in episode 40 something of Gintama so be careful 😂. Anyways I know this is poorly written mostly because my mind and thoughts were all over the place while writing it. It's mostly written to comfort me but of course if it's a source of comfort for anyone else, I'm more than happy to hear that (I was either going to write about him or Dazai)

#gintoki x reader #gintama #gintama x reader #writing #anime and manga #anime #gintoki sakata x reader #sakata gintoki #sakata gintoki x reader

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all-thestories-aretrue · 19 days

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Here are the Thoughts™️I promised @discordkittenterumi

This post is a much longer follow to this post from last night as I was listening to episode 60.

This post is also in conversation with with something @peppedstep mentioned about Neil’s loyalty to the coterie, which I touch on briefly.

Everything sort of solidified in my brain after finishing 60 at like 2 am last night.

In 60, we see Neil wake up in a strange place with Weathers and Amara with him. The last thing he remembers is running from his sire which seems to be several days ago.

Neil also does not remember much of Baghdad (which is a whole separate post that is coming. I have many thoughts about Nara and Neil in that situation).

He routinely has panic attacks, some of which lead to dissociation. For example, before his trial in 37 and 38, we see him go catatonic when he realizes his haven is under attack. Dissociation is not usually something that happens to someone once and then never again. It’s a coping mechanism, and I don’t think it’s a stretch to say it’s something he experiences, perhaps not regularly, but with some sort of frequency.

In addition, many of his rituals require his mind to be separated from his body, and we know kalif also impacts his cognitive function as also seen in Baghdad. He has the capability of astral projecting which leaves his body behind, defenseless. The ritual with the bull in 6, he had others stay nearby just in case something were to happen. The second time he completes the ritual, Johnny escorts him.

Neil is often dependent on the people around him to keep him safe, and we see him repeatedly look to others for their judgement before he makes a decision on his own. He looks to Nara to trust Jubair, and he looks to Amara to trust Catherine and this mission. In these two cases in particular, he’s forced to rely on others’ assessments of the situation because he cannot make his own. In addition, relies on Britta and Miles to defend him in court while Johnny and Wynn take care of his haven. He also places an immense amount of trust in the coterie and their decisions, generally speaking.

Peppedstep mentioned that family is important to Neil, the coterie is important to Neil. He consistently revolves around the idea of keeping them together and spending their final nights together. I agree, but to add another layer to that, Neil trusts everyone in the coterie, and as has often been discussed, trust is an extremely rare commodity for Kindred, and in some cases doesn’t exist at all. What Neil has with the coterie almost seems to be unprecedented given the general picture of the Camarilla and Kindred society the audience is presented with. He knows these people will protect him and/or his body when he is unable to.

I would imagine, without them, his quality of life would be diminished, and all it would take is one mistake, one bad episode, for him to meet final death or another horrible fate, especially considering his abilities. It was a stroke of luck that Amara and Weathers picked Neil up.

His drug use, mental health issues, and magical abilities all work closely together to form a complex web of memory loss and a distrust of his own opinions. Even further, I would argue that his memory loss contributes to his lack of a sense of identity.

I believe it’s been mentioned a few times that Neil doesn’t really have a strong sense of identity (I am not going to sort through all 60 episodes to find those sources though, sorry! I do think it might have been brought up at the party when Fester was preparing him?), and that’s proven by how he talks about his worth early on when Wynn confronts him after the bull ritual. He, and I am paraphrasing here, believes he is useful because he can provide the coterie with knowledge. Later on, he mentions that Miles kept him around because of his specific abilities which again, his worth is tied up in his usefulness to people.

This mentality is compounded by his early history with his sire. In 51 or 52 (I can’t remember which and I’m not going to look it up), it’s described that Neil looks at his sire the way one might look at an abusive parent. Neil is absolutely terrified of this person even now. Based on Neil’s nonconfrontational personality, some of his coping mechanisms in the face of this abuse could easily be making himself small, agreeing with his sire, etc. leading to the people-pleasing nature we see in Neil now. Peppedstep also posited that Neil could have been Embraced to be made in his sire’s image. We know he is a loner, we know he has visions, and maybe he also feels the need for family in his own demented way. Regardless of if that is true, Neil’s sire had a massive effect on who Neil became as a Kindred and without question would influence his sense of identity. If Peppedsteps’s theory is true, then Neil’s sire would have stripped away any sense of who he was to remake him in his image.

TLDR: Neil has memory loss from a combination of drug use, mental health issues, and magical abilities which make him reliant on others for his safety in certain circumstances and further exacerbate his lack of a sense of identity.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

#path of night podcast #pon meta #neil foster #i feel like the red string meme or the you didn't connect shit meme #if anyone has additional thoughts pls share!!! i love reading everyone's stuff!!!!#i have no solutions only problems here #and even if neil doesnt dissociate often u can pry that headcanon from my cold dead hands #and i really do have another insanely long post about neil and nara and the kalif and consent #it is just not ready for public consumption yet #also i read this like 5 times so im sorry if there are any typos its not words in my brain anymore

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canenotabeltofunction · 9 months

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My Charmed (1998) Hot Takes

*Spoilers* (Even Though It’s Been 25 Years- Just Saying)

1. Prue was overpowered

I know that Prue is the oldest and the oldest sister is supposed to be the most powerful, but the development of their powers was just very all over the place with how fast they learned to use them. Prue seemed to master her powers exponentially faster than the other sisters.

For example in the very first episode Prue moves cream from a cup into her coffee. This is moments after she finds out about her powers- yet it takes Paige an extended amount of time before she is able to orb liquids even though she and Prue have basically the same power (and due to the yelling and orbing aspect of Paige’s power it seems like it should have been easier).

There’s also the episode of ‘Secrets and Guys’ in the FIRST SEASON where we see Prue cleaning with her powers and controlling multiple different tools at one time without difficulty- she is literally talking to Phoebe and Piper and is preoccupied and is still able to do this.

Before we even reach the end of the first season Prue has already discovered her ability to control her powers through her hands as well as her eyes. And by the 9th episode of the second season she discovers she can astral project. Which she is already capable of doing intentionally within a few episodes- even though she can’t do it while awake (until episode 5 of season 3).

While the sisters did all develop their powers well I feel like in terms of weaknesses they did not really give Prue that many. There was the whole thing with her being prideful but as a whole her powers didn’t seem to have any bounds after a certain point.

The only time we really see her powers not working well is when there is something blocking their powers all together. Vs with Piper things don’t stay frozen forever, she can only freeze inside a certain range, her freezes can be fought through, etc.

And obviously Phoebe didn’t have an active power until she developed the ability to levitate.

Idk feel free to disagree but I feel that Prue was a little overpowered

2. Cole Deserved a Redemption Arc

Don’t get me wrong I’m not excusing Cole’s behavior in the later seasons. However I do wish that the Cole storyline had gone slightly different and that Phoebe and Cole ended up together.

I personally never was able to get into the Coop storyline- it felt very unemotional to me. And it may have been because Cole was around much longer.

“But Cole was evil! He never changed!”

I beg to differ, up until around the last season he was on the show almost everything that kept Cole evil was out of his control.

He tried to give up his powers originally but was tricked into killing a witch (or he was possessed, I don’t remember). He never wanted to become the source, he was manipulated by The Seer. And even after the source took over we still see Cole inside fighting to be good like when he saves Paige.

And he even tried AGAIN to give up the powers of The Source but Phoebe was manipulated into stopping him.

He genuinely was trying to be good so often and I feel like a lot of it was just that he was dealt a shitty hand.

I think that up until the point where he clearly stopped caring about Phoebe’s wellbeing (like when he is willing to let Paige die and keep Phoebe mummified) he deserved a redemption arc and I wish he had gotten one,

However I think the storyline was ended due to Julian wanting to leave the show and not because of the writers.

(Also I just loved Cole as a character and I cry every time they vanquish him in the apartment)

3. I Didn’t Like Dan

This one is short and sweet

I didn’t like Dan

He’s not an asshole, He was super good to Piper

I just didn’t like him 🤷🏻‍♀️

4. Leo and Piper Shouldn’t Have Gotten Back Together

This one is going to sound kind of hypocritical after the Cole take but I feel like after Leo left to become an elder he and Piper shouldn’t have gotten back together.

Like you’re telling me after all the shit you two went through to be together you’re going to just fuck off to become an elder????

And this is never fully explained honestly; it’s just that “oh it’s not that simple it’s not my choice.” But they never really explained WHY it just seemed like a stupid excuse.

And honestly after all of that shit I know they wouldn’t have had time to give Piper another love interest (which she deserved) and I loved Chris but idk I feel like Piper and Leo shouldn’t have gotten back together-

They can keep Leo around but I don’t think after all of that shit that they should have ended up together

5. Billie and Christy Should Have Had a Different Ending

This is a one or the other kind of thing.

I think Christy should have gotten a redemption arc OR they should have given Billie a bigger corruption arc and killed them both.

I don’t think the ending was BAD I think it was tragic that Billie lost her sister after trying so hard to find her and finding out that she wasn’t who she used to be which made for a good plot point-

But I feel like if they had had more time and things were written a little differently I would have liked to see Christy eventually get redeemed (I mean the girl was brainwashed by the Triad from the time she was a kid cut her some slack). But I know there wasn’t really enough time for that.

However the other option is I think to stick with the strong sisterly love thing that Billie should have had a bigger corruption arc and went down with her sister- or at the very least accidentally died with her or refused to leave her or something.

I will definitely be posting more Charmed content

#prue halliwell #charmed original #charmed #hot take #hot takes #90s nostalgia #witches #witch #halliwell sisters #cole turner #phoebe halliwell #redemption arc #phole #dan Gordon #piper halliwell #leo wyatt #chris halliwell #christy Jenkins #billie jenkins

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lady-margaret · 21 days

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bridgerton season 3 part 1 opinion (as someone who has read all the books + is kathony biased so be warned)

after sitting and stewing on what i just watched for a few hours

i’d like to start this off by saying that due to my disappointment of the writing from the last season, i was way more gracious with this one. kate and anthony were great because of simone and jonathan; i’m not sure the writers had much to do with that.

anyway, what i’m saying is that i already knew not to expect the writers to be faithful to the source material (romancing mr. bridgerton), so i was able to enjoy myself more. additionally, polin’s book isn’t exactly a favorite of mine anyway, so there wasn’t a lot to be too disappointed with in my case.

what i liked:

penelope’s wardrobe; they hyped up the “transformation” so much and i’m glad it did not disappoint.

colin’s hot 😌

eloise’ wardrobe; someone pointed out that it had a lot of philip references, so yay 😀 (it has me worried that it’ll be her story next though, we need ben first)

eloise interacting with the other ladies of the ton was really cute and refreshing; she’s learning that despite them having different interests than her, they are still people of great value. the difference is eloise was raised in a loving and supportive family, unlike most of the others.

sibling’s g&h’s personalities coming through more (they are anthony’s children, truly).

featherington sisters as comic relief.

MARRIED KATHONY CRUMBS 💕💕💕 they carried episode 1 for me.

FRANCESCA 💕💕💕 gorgeous introvert representation.

FRANNY AND JOHN 💕💕💕 (i am both ready and NOT ready to get hurt 🥹)

book references (yay! the bare minimum!)

lord debling’s dope.

i actually do like that they gave cressida a legitimate reason to want to win the competition money to unmask LW in the second part.

the music choices haven’t disappointed yet!!!!!

colin’s line for the season is def the “well are you gonna marry me or not?” line HEHEHEHEHE i ALMOST screamed as loud as i did when john entered when he said that line to pen.

as an army, plus points for dynamite 🤭 i didn’t expect to like the orchestral version and didn’t see the vision of where they would even insert it, but i actually liveddd for it.

what i don’t really have strong feelings about:

mondrich plot; alice is beautiful but the addition of their family storyline didn’t make much of a lasting impact.

the queen; she was very meh so far.

the featherington storyline: the sisters are funny, but their whole situation mixed with the humor leads me not to take it very seriously.

violet x lady danbury’s brother: 🤷‍♀️ i don’t see it.

the “lady danbury’s brother” storyline in general is very forgettable.

what i disliked:

i think nicola and luke could use more chemistry; they fall short compared to daphne&simon and kathony (HEAVY ON KATHONY THIS IS WHY THEY REMOVED THEM FROM THE REST OF THE EPISODES SIGH)

they kinda mischaracterized colin (he spent the last two seasons being selfish and putting himself above everyone else violet, what the hell are you talking about “you never place yourself over others” 🤨)

the lack of ben time?? did he go back to the academy after taking over for anthony briefly??? what did he do besides dodging debutantes all season????

they glossed over benedict running the estate so quickly; this could have been an opportunity to draw out his storyline, especially since he mentioned that he liked having a purpose: WRITERS???? DO SOMETHING WITH THAT!

i also didn’t really care for the ben x tilly arnold plot; unless sophie’s actually a maid of her’s or something, i don’t see her point in the show besides just be another one of ben’s ever changing girl of the season.

im sorry but eloise would never SHOULD NEVER have befriended her (ex?) best friend’s bully, no matter what the circumstances. that is NOT eloise.

honestly, them revealing whistledown in the first season is really screwing with the writing; in this regard, i wish they stayed more faithful to the book and how colin finds out about LW. it all just seems so messy at this point.

so s3 starts when kathony end their honeymoon… how long was this honeymoon? math isn’t mathing cuz it couldn’t have been more than a week given that kate isn’t obviously pregnant yet in the first ep.

i know that colin and pen are longtime friends, but from how they’ve interacted with each other in the past seasons, it’s a bit harder to believe that they were close CLOSE friends; close friends to the extent of helping the other find a spouse through “lessons”? i don’t see it. that’s why i was a bit ??? when i first found out about the plot they were going with for the season (in the book, colin really just starts following her around cuz she was being sus)

i hate that they had to come up with an excuse to get rid of kathony for the rest of the episodes; i get that they’ve been running their separate households alone for most of their lives and want a break but… i don’t think they would abandon their responsibilities for an “extended honeymoon”. knowing them, running the estate isn’t gonna stop them from being wh0res!! they help each other out with the estate and are still sickeningly in love and have time for each other (in the books). i was also really hoping to see kate taking over the viscountess role. i swore they would have done something like that after that cute/awkward moment when they both respond to “lady bridgerton” in episode 1.

i get that it’s established that penelope’s one goal for the season is to get a husband, but as i know her character, she would NEVER get into races (?) or run just so she can talk to a suitor before anyone else does 😭 okay but it was funny.

i am kinda sad that they couldn’t have just let a mean character or a villain character be the villain character; yea sure, i did say that i liked that cressida had a legitimate and well thought out motive for wanting the LW reward money but, idk i could’ve lived without her storyline.

one of the BIGGEST THINGS for me is that i do not think they should have released so many clips/snippets of the show days or weeks before it came out. i understand like 1 clip, but i skipped SO MANY SCENES because i have watched them at least 5 times already on tiktok or twitter.

the two part season idea is dumb.

i’m scared for how messy part 2 will be (in terms of both writing and just how stressed i will be with the revealing of LW plot HUHU poor pen) but i’m still looking forward to it 😇😇😇 and despite all the things i didn’t like, i did still enjoy it. if i do rewatch it or not is still to be decided; s1 & s2 have such high rewatch value.

franny and john were TRULY a standout though. i cannot even begin to describe how loud i screamed when he finally said his name out loud 😭💕

verdict: the writing is getting messier, get jonathan bailey in that writer’s room ASAP

#bridgerton #anthony bridgerton #kate sharma #kathony #kate sheffield #benedict bridgerton #daphne bridgerton #eloise bridgerton #gregory bridgerton #francesca bridgerton #bridgerton spoilers #bridgerton season three #polin #penelope featherington #colin x penelope #colin bridgerton #john stirling #michael stirling

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summersmithlatinxgyatt · 3 months

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Yes, before we even START this blog, I kindly request that you reblog this. I request a reblog with questions and proof at the end, but reblog this if you see it PLEASE. This is a massive theory on the entirety of Rick and Morty as a show as well as C-137. This is not my usual kind of post, but I’ve been working on it for months. It recontextualizes the entire show and required a lot of proof and effort for it to stay together. If you could spread it around, I would appreciate that so much from the bottom of my heart. This is my passion project.

This is my ‘Rick Meta-Parasite’ theory.

There are many instances of parasitic entities across Rick and Morty that have a common theme. Each one will be explained here first, before I try to explain why they even appear.

There’s the Total Rickall parasites that latch onto the family to create false memories to anchor themselves. These parasites just barely resemble Previous Leon, a similar entity. They both create fake memories to flash back to and manifest themselves over and over, spreading out and multiplying. Previous Leon is more ‘meta’, which is going to be explained later on.

The Total Rickall parasitic aliens likely come from Unity’s planet. I say this because these two episodes are right next to each other. Beta-7 and Unity meet up constantly, meaning there is a hivemind alliance between MULTIPLE hiveminds out there. This is also going to be crucial to remember. Rick says that the parasitic aliens likely came from the bottom of someone’s shoe, so Summer or Morty might have accidentally stepped on this parasite from a hivemind source and brought it to their home as a result. That explains what these parasites are doing to begin with

There are other examples of parasitic entities in Rick and Morty. But these are targeting the mind and memories. We know that the Federation consists of bug-like aliens that created a device that allows them to enter the mind of Rick to extract the schematics of his portal gun, which was still shown to be false later on

So we have a galactic federation made up of bug aliens that targeted Rick and innovated technology to enter Rick’s mind for portal travel. Going back to the aforementioned hiveminds, we know that Unity and Rick had a relationship together. Unity literally tells Rick that he’s more of a parasite than she could ever be. The two relate to this sentiment, which will ALSO be explained soon. One thing at a time, I just have to keep these things in your mind

The fear hole is implied to be sentient, but it leeches off of fear. Although it was stated to go after Rick, I think this was a method used to just get the most fear out of Morty instead. It would allow him to dive deeper into his fears from this false statement that threw him off. It IS interesting that it appeared in a Denny’s. Rick loves Shoney’s, a place that exists as a parody of Denny’s. Instead, this parasitic hole manifested itself in the ORIGIN of this parody that Rick holds close. This will be the final thing to keep in mind before I dive into this theory one final time

Rick is a meta-fictional parasite.

We already know he IS a parasite. I mean come on, he came into another Beth’s life and travels through dimensions. Unity sees him as a literal bloodsucker. Morty tells Summer that Rick goes into people’s lives and just leaves them once he gets what he wants. It’s not a new idea that he’s a parasite, but this is a change of pace. Already, this is basing itself on the idea that Rick is a parasite in the NARRATIVE sense.

When we say Rick, we are referencing C-137, NOT Prime. That’s because Prime is the Rick of the Rick and Morty franchise. C-137 is pretending to be a Rick that eventually found this property to latch onto. There’s a few reasons as to why this happened at all. The first is that this parasite took the place of the scapegoat of Rick Prime, who would inevitably create portal travel

This portal travel method would allow him to escape his own dimension if necessary, not to mention it would create a container and franchise to exist in. This would be the border of the meta structure. But first, let’s explain the cosmology so far:

The Central Finite Curve is capped out at a certain point. The reason it curves is due to the deviations on every single dimension. The word dimension being used is very interesting, because it can be used to describe the features and aspects of an object. To ask the dimensions of a box is to ask how long, wide, and tall it is. To ask about the dimensions of the Central Finite Curve, you’d also be asking about what makes it up and causes it to curve. That would be the slight alteration to every single hypothetical Rick scenario

We end up seeing that dimensions can have sub-iterations added onto them from deviations OF DEVIATIONS that are specific enough to be noted. The D-716 Ricks are classed as B and C. They are minor divergent points from D176, which is already a branch from Prime’s dimension. And like how dimensions describe the shape of an object, the way it branches out would be literally spiraling out into a curve that is off by JUST a bit each time

The Central Finite Curve caps out at Rick being the smartest being several times over. The outside of the curve is chaotic because it has boundaries or shapes. There is nothing that centralizes and defines it, so it is a mess. And since Rick slowly becomes more and more irrelevant as the curve displaces each dimension by adding deviations, the point at which Rick no longer matters is the point where the multiverse actually begins. This explains both boundaries clearly. With that being said, there’s still more to explain

There is the edge of the canon itself and what was considered non-canon. This is the outside level of the continuity that is basically formless and desperate to find some format in any way. We know that the story train is circular. If it were to deviate, it would form a spiral, a CURVE. That describes the still state of the curve when it originally began as well.

Something important is that the outside of the train is referred to as the non-canon state of reality. But it’s also worthy of an explanation. Check this scene out

The outside of the non-canon isn’t just not canon. It’s formless as described before. It is ‘free floating’, so to speak. The Tickets, Please Guy is being submerged into countless narratives to try to anchor him. It spirals out of control. Every single non-canon instance we see is one that has no set narrative or format

That’s also why the self-proclaimed non-canon Rick and Morty series takes place in another medium entirely to try to anchor its narrative. It needs some way to anchor itself, so this outer shell also relies on trying to find the nearest location. That would be the multiverse, the Central Finite Curve at least. This explains how Story Lord already considered himself an enemy of Rick, someone who’s clearly able to travel through all of these spaces and saw Rick’s clear potential (which will be explained later in full detail as to why Story Lord is his nemesis)

That would also explain Previous Leon’s existence as someone who implants false memories and causes feedback loops through flashbacks. It’s to find some way to anchor themselves and tread through the multiverse. But why?

It seems that each parasitic entity is capable of finding their designated host. The entire point is that they can navigate through the non-canon or similar spaces to find a host for themselves. They’re mainly concerned about the meta-fictional parasite known as Rick C-137. That’s because this version managed to rebel against the usual Rick format. Being the ‘Rickest Rick’ despite not even being Rick is insane in this context now. Even LOOk at the dimension they assign him in:

C - 3, prime number

1 - prime

3 - prime

7 - prime

3,137 - prime

His assigned dimensionality is prime. Going back to what I said about the dimensions, we know that he and Rick Prime were the first ones to start this. A prime axis would be the very center of this ‘shape’ I keep describing, C-137 being a false prime as well but still as important

Finally cycling back to the original point I was making, Rick took this spot to be the other Rick who created portal travel. Where does the meta-fictional parasite part come in? Oh, that’s right

We need to talk about The Real Animated Adventures of Doc and Mharti first. That’s right, the thing that actually started Rick and Morty that’s never referenced. This is the part of the theory that goes crazy. If you just wanted an explanation of the Central Finite Curve and stuff, now would be a good time to leave. Otherwise, strap in.

The Real Animated Adventures of Doc and Mharti started as a Back To The Future parody. The actual source is crude and does include sexual scenes that won’t be explained here. It would lead to something disturbing, though. Back To The Future also literally has an incest subplot with Marty and his mother in the past. If these two became Rick and Morty, then yeah, it’s also gross shit between them. And we know this sadly became a theme in the show that popped up over time. But that…sadly matters to this theory and explains a lot

When I use this term, I am also referring to a self-parasitic method that Rick is initiating. He is surrounding himself with OTHER Ricks as well, despite them being deviations. It’s some universal sibling relationship, if you think about it. I mentioned that the non-canon system is free floating and allows any format to manifest. When this Doc and Mharti…you know, off-screen and shit, it created a deviation level that was not possible. It is detached from the parody on another level. It’s not related to the original source and parody anymore. As it passes, there is less satire and parody. It becomes its own thing. It creates an original character, just like how Rick and Morty is no longer tied to Back To The Future

We get Rick Sanchez, C-137.

That’s not where the theory ends, though.

If this parasite was born through that and was self-parasitic, it would anchor itself to a character that resembles him and Doc and Mharti. That would be Rick Prime

That explains how C-137 and Prime existed at different times despite being the ‘main characters’, so to speak. Think of it like this

Rick and Morty was ALREADY EXISTING with Rick Prime, until C-137’s parasitic form pushed through the non-canon and latched onto this host that resembled his ‘dad’ and himself to continue the cycle. Every now and then, these gross themes and parodies pop up as the literal lifeline of Rick C-137 to sustain him. He is also fueled with the resentment of Rick Prime for destroying Diane, which can also be explained in this context clearly

If Rick has to exist as an anchored character, that means he needs an in-universe anchor as well. He needs to blend in and exist in the narrative. That’s where Diane comes in

Diane kept Rick C-137 from leaving into the non-canon and actually existing in-universe. When she was unexpectedly killed, it threatened Rick and caused him to create portal travel. He kills two birds with one stone when he hunts down Rick Prime. That would also explain why portal travel, Operation Phoenix, and other lifelines are used. The theme of incest is also being used metaphorically like I said - it persists because it was the origin source. That’s also why parodies are so prominent across the show too, but are somewhat spread out. UNTIL it peaks around the time Rick Prime is killed

And Season 7, the season he’s killed, has no incest. There aren’t as many parodies either, because he is fully independent. He has removed all anchors from himself at this point by instead cementing his new purpose in-universe, not just through meta-fiction or non-canon instances

By the way, we still aren’t done. We have a lot more things to explain

If Doc and Mharti exist as a parody backstory, we can also explain Shoney’s easily

Shoney’s is a parody that also anchors Rick. It’s the first thing that we see in The Rickshank Rickdemption and Rick’s mind when these parasitic Federation soldiers try to extract the backstory from Rick’s memories. Shoney’s as a parody of Denny’s shows the idea that this is a lifeline. Ironically enough, there seems to be duality when it comes to…the whole Szechuan Sauce existing here as an extended reference that affected the real world. Why am I mentioning this?

Well, Rick is still using ways to contextualize himself in the world of Rick and Morty. Yet he’s using a parody instead of the real deal. The real Denny’s would be on the same plane as Doc and Mharti’s level of reality. That means it actually pierces through these layers, the fear hole is a hole drilled across all three layers of reality being shown here. Why do you think it was able to show Morty the TRUE nature of Rick??

It literally shows how Rick is unhealthy by exposing Morty through the ugly truth. You know how the hole has layers? That’s because Morty is passing through those layers of reality - the ONLY way to know Rick inside and out across every possible layer. He basically learned his origin and primary function during it

We also have Evil Morty to explain. How did he extract Rick’s backstory when The Citadel of Ricks couldn’t?

That’s easy

Evil Morty is basically a counter parasite

So I started this theory showing how there’s so many parasites, then explained that Rick was one. Even if that seems like a good segue, I didn’t actually explain how it works. But I can now!

Previous Leon is able to pass through the fourth wall, it’s shown to be a power early on that Rick SOMEHOW KNOWS ABOUT when he sees it happen before him. That’s because all of these parasites can pass through these layers of reality, mainly the meta and non-canon ones. Remember how I said the non-canon is basically formless like the multiverse? Previous Leon is one of many beings who can anchor themselves easily. If they use Rick’s origin source, they would be the only ones who could actually use that information meaningfully. The Federation extracting portal travel information means they can’t even have quick travel methods like Rick’s portal gun. Do you expect them to actually be able to travel through the meta and non-canon layers when, as shown before, it’s impossible to navigate and stay latched onto one narrative?

These are meta-fictional parasites because they are narrative parasites. They are the only ones capable of pulling this off. And just to prove a point, The Self-Referential Six are literally the same type of idea

-Flash Back enacts flashbacks, which has been shown before with Leon and the Total Rickall parasites

-Protago Nick, who would be establishing hosts before latching onto them with the weight of protagonism

They are literary devices that become real. They exist within these characters, because their named and designated designs are the Rick and Morty version of these characters. Of course they can travel through non-canon easily, they’re the sentient extensions of actual literary devices!!

Okay, this did derail a bit. I just explained how, technically, retcon itself exists in Rick and Morty. But let’s get back to my point after I explained why there’s parasites everywhere.

Evil Morty led Rick C-137 to kill Prime. This would be Rick killing his main host to leave him as an empty shell with no purpose and nothing to feed off. Evil Morty was also able to subvert the curve and leave it entirely. He denounces the name ‘Evil Morty’, which has an in-universe explanation. But also in the context of this theory, it’s because he is not just some deviation of a dimension. He transcends that, meaning he is a parasite and not a byproduct of this parasitic war. That also explains why he can eventually pass through the multiverse and outside the Central Finite Curve, a power I keep saying parasites hold

The reason he can actually get Rick’s backstory is because it’s more of a dissection device. He is aware of his own nature and was able to create a device that extracted the mind of a parasite. This would be identical technology to the one that Evil Morty implants in Rick Prime’s brain! He has anti-parasite measures because he knows about his nature! Don’t believe me?

This is the same Morty that located an Evil Rick who himself stated he was a few deviations off C-137. This is the same Morty that created an eyepatch that CONTROLS THE BRAIN.

What do all of these parasites do? GO AFTER THE BRAIN OF RICK.

So Evil Morty clearly has this technology in place to use, besides the fact that he was a parasite among Ricks by taking a place of power within The Citadel of Ricks. That enough is an explanation for continuing the fight between both Ricks and somehow being able to extract his backstory when everybody else failed. Remember - multiversal variants are deviations, the few beings I’ve been mentioning are parasites. And as the cherry on top, who does Story Lord allow to be the leader of an entire army of Ricks in the Story Train’s manifestation?

Evil Morty.

The parasite killer. The one thing Story Lord knew would stop this meta-fictional parasite right in his tracks.

There are still a few things I need to explain before I wrap this theory up

For one, I mentioned Operation Phoenix being a lifeline. Wouldn’t it be worse for Rick to go to a dimension other than his in another body? Even if it helps him come back?

Operation Phoenix would re-establish Rick’s place across the Central Finite Curve, even if he’s in another set of deviations. He already moved dimensions, so this is fine. He would also be spreading out his influence, which is what he did in The Rickshank Rickdemption and when he switched to other dimensions

What about Memory Rick?

At first, this actually stumped me. I felt like this was too important to dismiss but also had way too little information to its name. Until I realized that this is a manifestation of Rick in Birdperson’s memories that acts completely different

Kind of sounds like how I explained multiversal deviation off-sets or parody deviations that become their own character

That become SENTIENT.

Sentient enough to willingly cross minds and memories…

In a way, Memory Rick was dormant and became a willing parasite in Rick’s memories AS WELL. That can explain how Memory Rick works as well

This can also explain Slow Mobius’ wife AND my theory on Summer becoming Rick. I couldn’t hold back, I just had to mention Summer at some point. But the idea is how hunting after a host makes you a parasite. Again, this echoes a statement by Evil Morty about how if wanting Rick gone is bad, then it’s considered evil and is more of a demoting statement. They are classed as parasites hunting their host. Their lives were ruined and feel fulfilled AS they chase their target, but it leaves them meaningless once they actually kill their host.

I’m referring to how Slow Mobius went on a hunt for whoever killed her husband. I’m also referring to my theory about how if Rick left Summer’s life, she’d become just like him when HE was finding Rick Prime - taking the mantle of Rick without any of the glamor.

There’s also the theory I have that Summer is likely being turned into Diane. She can either be a parasite anchor and canonizer OR another Rick-esque parasite on the prowl. These deviations are being set AS WE SPEAK and Rick is fully aware of it in some way

This is the archetype of these parasites. That’s why Rick C-137 is so desired across these people who want his origin. His numbers are prime, he SEEMS prime, HE IS THE FALSE PRIME!! There cannot be an even number of primes though, that’s against logic, LITERALLY! Instead, he exists as the prime PARASITE archetype that they all come from. Meanwhile, Rick Prime is the prime HOST instead. Since one is native to the franchise first, one is seen as ‘actually prime’, while the outsider is not seen that way

So, for the recap of this entire theory that honestly, can hold way more information than shown:

Rick C-137 is the son of Doc and Mharti. This deviation of parodies and sources created an abomination parasite that sought out a host to leech onto. It found an existing franchise with a character similar to its dad and itself. As it settled, it became an in-universe being until its in-universe wife was killed. This would kickstart portal travel, a way to spread out its influence and to kill its host now. Even if this removed their purpose, this meta-fictional parasite would not care at ALL. Throughout the journey, we see similar beings who want to find the origin of this parasite for two reasons. One, it allows portal travel, and two, it allows them to dissect this current parasite that dismantled an entire franchise and remade it around itself - a ‘Rickest Rick’ more Rick than Rick Prime.

The themes of incest and parody exist as the metaphor for how the show satures itself WITH its own crude nature, like its father origin and itself. Over and over. A parasite feeding on itself because its host is gone. And this parasite then decides to critically examine itself when its host, show host, SHOW RUNNER, LEAVES THE PRODUCTION OF THE SHOW. Around the same time the SAME host known as Rick Prime also leaves the picture. This leaves the parasite purposeless without realizing how far they’ve come and become their own character - right until their companion runs into a hole plunged through all of this that exposes them.

Oh and for the record I do not endorse incest or it happening in the show or fandom. DO NOT HOLD THIS AGAINST ME. PROSHIPPERS, DO NOT USE THIS EITHER. This is a meta-fictional theory that also managed to involve that element into the narrative because that’s what this theory is all about, got it?

Please reblog and comment if you have any questions or any more proof to support this theory!

#rick and morty #rick and morty theory #theory #media theory #show theories #rick sanchez #RAAAAAH #headcanon

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