#hank kill hilling you? is this anything
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hank hill killing you btw
#hank kill hilling you? is this anything#sparkle blast#cw flashing#(a little bit) i tried to make it very gentle#things by me#koth#mlp#twilight sparkle
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Madness combat
Yandere!Platonic! 2BDamned vs Romantic!Yandere! Hank with 2BDamned's child!GN! Darling concept
(2BDad protects his child from Hank)
Oh boy....
General Hank Concept
Platonic 2BDamned Concept
Yandere! Platonic! 2BDamned vs Yandere! Hank
Pairing: Platonic (2B)/Romantic (Hank) - Rivalry
Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Isolation, Violence/Murder mention, Jealousy, Stalking, Kidnapping, Forced companionship (2B)/relationship (Hank).
While 2B "trusts" Hank it can only go so far.
2B loves his kid more than anything else.
It's to the point he manipulates and isolates you for your own protection.
He tries his best to keep Hank away from you but Hank still finds out about you.
Your home is here in this lab where he can essentially control you as your father.
Y'know the whole "Mother Knows Best" song from Tangled?
Your dynamic between you and 2B is very similar... except he has a point when he says everything can kill you.
Despite 2B's efforts to call you away... you still manage to speak with Hank, Deimos, and Sanford.
Deimos and Sanford treat you like a sibling.
Hank's mostly silent... but his view on you is much different than the others.
Considering what 2B does to his kid to keep them as his (see his platonic concept), Hank having you alone is difficult.
2B tolerates Hank around you but no doubt begins to notice Hank's growing... attachment towards you.
2B notices when Hank comes for treatment he often stares at you.
2B tries not to show that he's upset when you talk to Hank during treatments.
Hank's soaking in every word and remembering your appearance as 2B silently seethes.
Hank doesn't entirely feel threatened with 2B around you.
The doc is your father... but if Hank feels romantic intentions towards you, he isn't letting 2B get in the way either.
2B just about nearly throws Hank out of his lab when he notices the physical advances.
2B has planned everything out, you were meant to stay in the lab with him... any form of rebellion or wish to go outside would be smothered.
Yet here Hank is... doing the exact thing he feared would happen if you had a social life.
Hank's treating you in a delicate manner, large calloused hands lightly holding your hands and touching your skin.
He feels at ease around you.
He's... he's never felt a thing like love before.
It satiates his constant need for bloodlust.
So he finds himself leaning closer, wanting to purr towards you and hold you close...
Only for 2B to toss Hank out before trying to remove the idea of Hank from your mind.
This is where things would go down hill from here.
Hank's already fallen for you and isn't willing to just leave without you.
Meanwhile 2B now sees Hank as a complete and total threat to you and fears he'll lose you.
I see the rivalry going like this... Hank steals you from the lab and 2B hunts him down.
Like a wild animal, Hank manages to break into the lab you've always called home and takes you away.
The criminal has his strong arms wrapped around you as he carries you away to somewhere more private.
He sees you as his... so he'll keep you.
Plus... isn't it nice to be outside again?
Now you two are finally alone....
While Hank hides you away for himself, 2B is on the verge of a mental break.
He knows Hank took his kid.
The issue is finding him....
When it comes to how obsessive 2B is about his kid... he won't rest until he has you again.
2B will use everything he has to track you and Hank down.
Once he does... he'll straight up kill Hank if Hank doesn't kill him first.
Then afterwards, he'll take you back home and clear the idea of Hank's existence out of your mind... then you can both be happy again.
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give me your doc headcanons immediately + thoughts on the fact that doc was in on the betrayal at the end of M:PN (he provided the rocket launcher)
okay focusing on the betrayal part first
I was gonna be like "he definitely would not ask Hank to try and kill Sanford & Deimos?" and I completely stand by that. But I also forgot Jeb was there too. Doc would ABSOLUTELY tell Hank to launch Jeb's ass off that fucking tower I KNOW he's petty like that even if he doesn't show it.
Doc and Jeb's relationship I think is constantly a petty battle to show which is better.
I think Jeb does this by trying to act like he's "above" everything Doc is doing, (attempting in) showing that he has more grace than to send his goons to do his dirty work (<- hypocrite, has already done so with sheriff & hofnarr) and participate in such vile experiments like what doc's doing for revival (<- STILL a hypocrite. while always against reviving people he like, still made some pretty heinous shit like the sleepwalker program.)
Doc on the other hand knows Jeb is doing this all to get a step up on him and absolutely is just doing this to be petty (Ex-AAHW and all that, very likely he worked with Jeb at some point even if not side by side) so pointing out his hypocritical remarks ONLY in places he can't defend himself against (so like, important to say doc isn't saying "oh but you were a nexus scientist!" in response to "ghoulish experiments" but INSTEAD "well, you weren't complaining when i was putting you back together" so he like. literally cant come back from that) and fucking with him by letting hank just maul the shit out of the guy is also a really funny and really petty thing to do. "Thanks for helping me achieve my goal, STUPID! MR WIMBLETON KILL THIS CHARLATAN."
i think hank and 2bd probably bond over this a little bit too LOL. they may be opposites in so many ways but they fucking HATE that little prick. entitled, hypocritical, and most of all a pain in the ass to deal with.
okay finally; ETC DOC HEADCANONS
bottom surgery king
u know that thing autistic people do where they look the most bored out of their mind and in reality they're like actually having a really good time. Yeah
i think not only is her house VERY cold but he has like an abysmal amount of coolers, like from all the dead bodies and organs and shit she has to preserve just to perform all this experiments and most importantly COMPUTERS GET SOOO HOT WHEN THEY RUN A LOT & FOR LONG!! HIS ASS HAS SO MANY.
very warm body though (and also probably why he wears a fur lined coat? u saw the live action trailer ...)
i'll die on this hill forever but he fucking loves experimental music and raves and especially shit like bull of heaven and venetian snares and drill & bass music and anything weirdo and light. probably also felix kubin. my friend is Music Pilling Me
dogshit at gaming. still god at puzzles (minesweeper + crossword + picross ...)
i think at times he has to get with skinner to fix hank up and shit like sometimes it's so bad that shit needs to get peer reviewed.
to add onto that: so in canon the goggles he wears apparently has a HUD according to the arena mode description. wikihow "how to do surgery" alongside "grunt anatomy diagram" on the side
i'll probably do another 2bhank headcanon megapost (likely with repeats but no one really gives a fuck abt that part) bc those are pretty much the rest of my headcanons. maybe even just a hank-only post?! hope you enjoyed 🫶🫶❤️🫶❤️
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💬
"It's the damndest thing, Kurt."
They're sitting on the shore of this little - place, this island, this (prison) thing called Utopia, and Hank is just a ball of nervous, upset, fizzing energy. It's not a side of Hank that Kurt gets to see very often, he's usually so very composed, or rambunctious, or sardonic, or stoic, he's never like this.
Eventually, it gets to be a little too much and he takes a moment to pull off his glasses, breeeeeeathe, and exhale through the nose, his fingers rubbing gently at the bridge of his snout as he gestures in a particular direction.
"About - 10,000 miles that way is . . . Genosha. Give or take a few hundred miles."
He stops rubbing at his nose, but he doesn't put his glasses back on, just lets the gold bleed out of his eyes. Just stares out.
"16 million people dead. 16 million mutants. And we thought that that was the worst that it could get. We thought that there's no way that someone could possibly equal that level of destruction. How could you possibly?"
The 'But Wanda managed it' stays unsaid. Hank won't hear a word against Wanda, even now. He's maybe the only X-Man who won't snap at her back with a viper's hiss.
"And I think back, and I think . . . about standing there, in the rubble. I think about the fact that were it not for the respirator, I would have felt the kiss of the dead as their atoms slid down my throat like a lover's tongue, because they weren't just killed, Kurt, they were vaporised. There was nothing left, they were just. Gone."
He reached down into the sand and ground it between his fingers, watching the granules slip between them with a soft hiss.
"When I got back to the school, I just kept washing. I was so very extra-hygienic for a few weeks there. I kept feeling - dusty. Ashy. Like there was something on me that I couldn't touch, couldn't taste, couldn't smell, but it was there, I swear to - "
God. He stumbles on the word like he's going to be sick, throws his glasses to the ground away from him.
"There was this - atrocious movie. Oh my stars and garters, it was awful. It was lurking in the entertainment room back at the Mansion, I have no idea who bought the DVD, but it was called 'God's Army.' A movie about Mormons. In the Mansion. I mean, really, what next, 'Crash'? And there was this line, that even at the time I thought was just so very banal, but it stuck with me precisely because of that."
""Sometimes I think God does it on purpose. It's like He gives you a hundred reasons to believe, and then He just drops one or two for you not to believe. So that you can choose, to see if you really want to believe."
He laughed. It was an ugly, pained little noise.
"I have sixteen million reasons not to believe anymore, and the best anyone can tell me is that the times of greatest crisis are the exact moment when faith needs to most prevail. As if that, alone, were reason enough. It's not even remotely enough, Kurt, I need more than that.
No, Joe Hill had it right. 'I see God now as an unimaginative writer of popular fictions, someone who builds stories around sadistic and graceless plots . . . the author is unworthy of His own characters.' And what does He have to rebuke me, hm? Does He have a riposte?
Here I am! I want to believe, in anything right now, but I don't. I don't. I need a fact. I need a truth. I need - something, that I can hold onto, right now.
I need empirical proof. I need something I can touch. I need something real.
I need, a rock, and all I've got is sand!"
His breathing turned heavy and yet feathery, as if he were in the process of shaking himself apart, needing a good few moments to just - simmer, before he got to his feet and walked away, leaving his glasses behind on the beach.
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Heyyyy Finnie Finnie Finniieeeee, sooo FMK: btaa! Scarecrow, yj! Riddler and Capullo! Riddler, and uhh is there anything you would like to recomend (song, show, movie, book whatever!)????
khjjhasd omg omg ok hng right i'm gonna have to... oh the pain!!!
kill: (know that i typed and retyped this like 500 times) YOUNG JUSTICE
fuck: jonathan do me pls
marry: eddie... what a ridiculous thing to say but eddie lkjkjasd
ALSO i'll give you three of each!!:
books:
the haunting of hill house by shirley jackson
history of a drowning boy by dennis nilsen
the girl who loved tom gordon by stephen king
movies:
dawn of the dead (2004 remake)
lake mungo
the blair witch project
shows:
jam (chris morris)
king of the hill
futurama
songs:
let me show you - camisra
dim all the lights - donna summer
lost highway - hank williams
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Vampires (Daenyel & Renaya) x human female reader - Part 2
You have an idea, but you're not liking what you have to do. Despite Daenyel saying everyone was dead, if miraculously one of your attackers isn't fully dead yet, you may have a source of blood at your disposal. But you're not going up the hill without some kind of weapon.
Luckily, you know that Ms. Renaya always keeps a knife on her person. You brush your hand along her leg, searching for a knife strap. She doesn't react to your touch, which means she's really out of it. You find it on her thigh, and brush her dress up to grab the dagger sheathed there, wincing at the cuts which are sluggishly healing on her skin.
Then, you pick yourself up and totter up the hill, blinking to try and clear your blurry vision. You approach Ms. Renaya's car cautiously. It's so mangled that you have no idea how she and Daenyel made it out alive. Her bodyguards weren't so lucky. One of them is hardly more than a pulp with one intact arm. The clan tattoo on his wrist is the only thing that identifies him as one of yours.
You clamp a hand over your mouth and hastily turn away. The other bodyguard is riddled with bullet holes. From the hole in his skull, it looks like he died pretty quickly. Other dead bodies are piled around. Most of them have been killed vampire-style with slashed necks or gutted bodies or ripped limbs, a violent retaliation. There's nothing that makes a vampire more feral than a threat to their safety. You do your best not to look too closely. You skirt around the smoking car and hear a groan.
You find a man under a chunky piece of metal that must have come from the car. He looks like he's pretty much in one piece, just stuck. Broken legs, maybe? You push against the metal and the man hollers in pain, his eyes flying open. You ignore him, shoving and pushing until the metal rolls off. One of his legs is broken, and bone jutting out of his shin. His feet are mushy patties in his boots. Blood has soaked into the ground around his flattened boots and it takes everything in you not to vomit.
"I can do this," you tell yourself, crouching beside him.
The man seems to guess what you're planning on doing because he groans through harsh breaths,
"I'd rather die!"
He snatches the dagger from you, intending on slitting his throat. You wrestle it away from him, crying out as a sharp edge slices across your palm. You slap him, distracting him enough to yank the dagger away and hold it out of reach.
"You knew what could happen when you signed the contract, just like I did," you snap breathlessly. "I am sorry that it has to end like this for you, but I don't have much of a choice."
You stand up and grab his arms. He struggles, but there's not much he can do but kick his ruined feet and shout curses as you drag him down the hill.
"They are just using you! Once you're no longer useful to them, they'll drain you and throw you into an unmarked grave with the others," he babbles.
"It's not such a big deal," you scoff, spitting a hank of your windblown hair out of your mouth. "Humans use each other all the time. And just like humans, not all vampires are like that."
"It is in their nature," he groans. "Only The Order can save us from our inevitable doom."
"What Order?" You ask sharply, but the man realizes he's said too much and presses his lips together, and refuses to say anything else.
Finally, you reach your employer and her clan brother. Daenyel looks like he's worse off, so you drag your human blood bag toward him. The man weeps in terror. You have to stand over Daenyel and use your weight to yank the piece of wood out of his chest. It retracts with a sickening squelch, and Daenyel's eyes flicker open, ruby red and hungry.
You back away, and grab the man's arm. He's muttering some kind of prayer under his breath. You can't do this. The dagger shakes in your grip and your eyes blur with tears. Before you have to do it, however, Daenyel is shoving you out of the way and practically falling into the man, sinking his fangs into his neck.
You look away and crawl over to your employer. Even now she looks beautiful. Your hand is already bleeding, so you brush it on your jeans and once it is as clean as it's going to get, you press it against her mouth, wincing as the pressure aggravates your injury and causes it to start bleeding again. You startle as she wakes up, eyes fluttering open. Unlike Daenyel, she doesn't go feral at the taste of blood.
Her hand comes up and holds yours as her cold tongue laps delicately at the injury. With her other hand, she pulls you on top of her. Your breath catches in your throat and you feel it happening again as you accidentally fall into a trance-like state.
You're acutely aware of her jutting hipbones pressing against yours, the soft press of her stomach, and the rise of her breasts as she breaths. Your head droops, bringing your face closer to her. Her eyes are stunning and you can't look away. At some point, she stopped feeding, probably when her saliva healed your wound. She's still holding your hand and her breath is an iron-scented flutter against your cheek. Her eyebrows draw together and she's about to ask you something when Daenyel's shadow falls over the two of you.
The worst of his injury has healed into a pulsing partially closed wound, but he still needs blood. So does Ms. Renaya.
"Dawn is coming," he says. "We must find shelter."
Ms. Renaya sits up, letting your hand go.
"Yes," she agrees. "We will discuss what to do later."
"Should I go and get help? I can make it into town," you offer.
"No, pet," Ms. Renaya says. "The walk is long and you may meet danger along the way. I'm not willing to risk that."
"You care much for this mortal," Daenyel says, shaking out his dreadlocks so they fall over his shoulders.
He lost the rubberband at some point.
Ms. Renaya brushes past her brother. "Leave your speculations for a time when we won't be in imminent danger of burning," she says.
The three of you make it up the hill and into the trees. You keep glancing nervously at your watch, but the two vampires don't need watches to sense the coming dawn. Their unease shows in every twitch in their step, every sweep of their eyes. It's a miracle that you find something that resembles a cave that is deep enough to protect a vampire from the sun. It's just enough. Ms. Renaya hesitates.
"Brother, it would be good if we hunt before bedding down for the night," she says.
Daenyel's fangs flash as he grins. "You used to hate it so when I would hunt so close to the sunrise."
"This is different," Ms. Renaya snaps. "We cannot wake and drain Miss Pierce. Contrary to what you are thinking, she is very valuable to me."
Daenyel looks at you, an unreadable expression on his face. You look away and promptly trip on a tree root.
"Sorry," you mumble. "You two can go ahead and hunt. I'll be waiting here."
The two vampires move so fast that they almost seem to disappear into the trees. You glance at your watch one last time and walk into the cave. It's too small for you to stand properly, so you crouch and brush away loose twigs and rocks so that at least the floor is clean of debris. You settle cross-legged and pick nervously at the dried flakes of blood on your hands, trying not to think too much. A few minutes later the crack of a twig has you startled and you hold your breath and pray that it's not a random person, or worse, a hunter.
"It's just us, Miss Pierce," Ms. Renaya calls out as she steps out of the trees.
Daenyel follows her, dressed in nothing but his jeans, having discarded his tattered shirt. They both look a bit cleaner like they found a stream and washed off the worst of the carnage. Ms. Renaya is holding a bottle of water. It must have been left behind by a hiker and she filled it.
"For you to wash your hands," she explains, handing it to you.
"Thanks," you murmur gratefully.
You crouch in the entrance and do just that. You're tempted to drink some of it, but you know you won't be here for too long, so you can hold out. When you turn, the vampires have squeezed themselves in as far as they can go. Ms. Renaya has braided her hair against her shoulder and Daenyel is lying on his side, spooning her. She, in turn, pats the ground in front of her.
"Come, Miss Pierce. You wouldn't want to spoil your sleep cycle. Not after you put so much effort into changing it."
You crawl over but hesitate to lie down.
"Shouldn't I keep watch?"
"My familiar will do that," Ms. Renaya says.
"Gertrude is here?" You question, glancing at the mouth of the cave to see if you can spot the raven, but you don't.
"Put your back to me," Ms. Renaya instructs.
You lie down with your back against her, wincing at how uncomfortable the ground is. She pulls you closer, so you become the third spoon. You're not sure what to think about that. Ms. Renaya has always been nice to you but in a strictly professional way. The closest she has been was when she held your hair back at a party when you had too much to drink and disgraced yourself in front of the vampire elders.
Now her breath tickles the back of your neck and her hand rests lightly on your hip. It's confusing but comforting. After everything that's happened today, comfort is a welcome feeling. Despite the less-than-comfortable sleeping arrangement, you end up dozing off.
You wake up before either vampire because you have to pee. The sun is setting and the sky is awash with a golden-pink hue. You and Ms. Renaya have been using Daenyel's outstretched arm as a pillow. Your lips twitch in a smile and you ease away and stumble out of the cave, wincing as your body aches. Sleeping on the floor does that. Once you've relieved yourself, you come back to the cave to find both vampires stirring.
Ms. Renaya arches her back, stretching. Daenyel grunts and presses his nose against the back of her neck, taking in her scent. Her lips curve into a smile and she elbows him away. It makes you wonder exactly what kind of relationship they have. He's her clan brother, but she never mentioned him until yesternight. Ms. Renaya's eyes open and she looks at you. You wince at being caught staring.
"Hey," you say.
Ms. Renaya smiles, but it's the smile she uses when she's suspicious of something or someone. She crawls up to you, and the left strap of her dress slips down on her arm, loosening the dress enough to show the curve of one of her breasts in the dimness of the cave. Suddenly, you can't breathe.
"I believe you are right, Daenyel. My ghoul entrances all too easily," she said, leaning back on her heels. "Miss Pierce."
"Yes?" You clear your throat and look up at her face.
"Is it about time to strengthen our bond?" She asks. "Has it been three months already?"
"More or less," you agree. "But I think you should wait until we get back-"
The vampiress doesn't heed you as she lifts her wrist to her mouth and bites down. "I have enough blood to spare," she says. "Drink."
There's no use arguing now. You press your lips to her offered wrist. You're used to the slightly sweet metallic taste by now and your stomach remains settled as you gingerly swallow. Small mercies. Ms. Renaya leans forward again, to test the bond. It's like a pressure in your brain, an uncomfortable hum of energy. And between your legs, you ache. You're flaming hot right now and there's no way to disguise how fast your heart is beating. Ms. Renaya's cool fingertips grab your chin.
"Are you alright, Miss Pierce?"
Daenyel scoots over, and you don't like the gleam in his eye very much. He grabs your hair and tilts your head to the side, with enough force to make you gasp.
"Smell her," he says.
Ms. Renaya leans forward, her hair tickling your neck and shoulder.
"Oh my," she says. "Miss Pierce?"
"Sorry," you grimace. "I... I can't help it."
In the darkness, you can barely make out the uncharacteristic smirk on her face. She doesn't look angry. She looks pleased.
"What a delightful surprise, brother. Who would have thought I would find a human so receptive?"
Her sharp nails trace dangerously delicious patterns on your thighs. Your breath catches as her nails tease over your inner thighs.
"W-what are you doing?" You gasp.
"Right now, you can forget I'm your employer, Miss Pierce," Ms. Renaya says calmly. "It has been too long since I indulged myself."
Daenyel laughs behind you, pulling you against his back.
"Are you afraid, Miss Pierce?" He purrs.
"No," you admit, and it's not a lie.
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Bad Guys Making Bad Decisions
Hey there, cybernetics. Well, we're on issue 7 of 10. That's really all there is to say at this point!
Here's the cover:
Oh, jeepers, no. Nico, don't kiss that mans. He doesn't even have lips, for one thing. He's got all that misty red leakage. And, like, he couldn't even be bothered to put on a clean shirt, for cripe's sake. Now, the real question is, trace the angle of Nico's arm. Now trace the angle of the Staff of One. Where is she holding onto that thing? Like, even if it's in her other hand--which seems even less comfortable--where is she holding it? Or if Alex is holding it… We can see his one hand, so same question applies. I think they just wanted to get the Staff on the cover and didn't really think about it because they weren't drawing the characters lower than the bottom of the frame. That all aside, great cover, though. Very spooky. Oooo~
So… What the fuck was last issue about? I've honestly forgotten. Something with Deathlocket? Yeah, that sounds right, sure. Anyway, we open today with narration from Nico, where she's like "Most girls fantasise about killing their first boyfriend, don't they?" Geez, I hope not. I think you may be projecting, Nico, because you literally did that. Anyway, these feelings are surfacing for her because Alex has trapped her in a pocket dimension to fight a magma elemental. You know, standard stuff you do with your ex, I'm sure~
It's not even the lava golem she's fighting that's pissing her off, it's that Alex keeps flirting with her. And that's certainly fair. Fortunately, before it gets too awkward, Hazmat and Anachronism enter and tell her there's a problem regarding Chase. If you recall, Chase blew his cover last issue by preventing Captain America from being shot. Because despite his somewhat dudebro personality and his even douchier looks in this storyline, Chase is actually a good guy. He's the hope we still have riding on this storyline. That oughta worry you.
The away mission returns, and they did retrieve their guy from AIM or whatever they were doing. But as Nico teleports in, they find Chase was shot. Surprisingly, Excavator covers up for him. Sometimes folks just get shot while on missions, you know how it goes. He says it wasn't anybody's fault. Nico retorts that it's always somebody's fault. And hey, remember how I said Chase appears in future Runaways stories, so I wasn't worried? Nico casts a spell to "fix him", channelling purple lightning into him. Well, for once, she certainly can't make him worse~
Now here's a cutaway I didn't expect. We move over to the SHIELD Helicarrier to see our other victim of the AIM debacle: Captain America. He's having a debriefing with Maria Hill and Hank Pym. Hank obviously wants to just storm in there and get the kids, while Maria points out that Bagalia is a sovereign nation and they can't just do that. But in case you think she's the reasonable one, Hank just wants to help the kids, while Maria calls them "fugitives" who conspired and succeeded in murdering a man, resisted arrest, and escaped custody. In case you wondered if she still had that stick up her ass~
Now, Cap is of course on the same side as Hank in rescuing the kids, but they can't really do anything about it right now. He's more worried about the agent they lost in the debacle: a certain Reginald Crenshaw, head of SHIELD's entire information network. This is who the Masters of Evil were targeting, who was being held by AIM. He's warded against psychics of all stripes, so the Masters haven't a snowball's chance in hell to get him to spill. Funny wording, that. Because remember Satannish's cameo a few issues back? He possesses Crenshaw, completely hacking his mind open. …Figuratively, to be clear.
We return over to Nico and friends, observing Chase in emergency care. She's getting antsy because it's taking more than a few minutes to heal him. The doctor (who's a creepy half-cyborg fucker the wiki is telling me is actually the Tinkerer, a man who does not have a medical degree) tells her that Chase is suffering from the trauma of the gunshot wound and is comatose. Nico doesn't get it, she healed that wound with magic. She's seen Chase get up after being hit by a car (which I think is a reference to the ending of the "Rock Zombies" storyline in Runaways). So why isn't he okay now?
Dr. Walker (or the Tinkerer or whoever he is) tells her that neuroscience is more complicated than that. You can't just "magic" someone's brain better. And she's welcome to try, maybe she'll regress him into infancy somehow. She retorts that magic doesn't work like that. Looking smug, he retorts with a request for how magic does work, then. And of course, her retort is "it just does!" and blowing all the windows apart while storming out of the room. Ah, teenagers, am I right~?
This very funny tantrum is followed by the extremely stupid decision of her to go snog Alex Wilder. And, like, Alex is an evil jerk, but the first thing he asks is "How's Chase?" when she returns, with a look of genuine concern on his face. And I will give him points for that. Meanwhile, the comic ends with a glimpse of Cammi in prison. She's spent the whole time carving a peephole so she can spy on Baron Zemo and crew. However, her very chatty cellmate keeps bugging her. And why shouldn't he bug her? Because it's Arcade. He's alive, imprisoned by the Masters of Evil, and he still won't shut up.
Bad choices, bad guys, and of course, bad comic books. This one is mostly just continuing everything from last time. The Alex/Nico stuff is gross and uncomfortable, and it's not coz they're teens shacking up or anything. Alex's flirting comes across as way too manipulative, which is probably the point? It doesn't make me enjoy reading the character, though. This isn't the worst issue of the thing, but it does feel like it breezes by a bit too quickly. Maybe because basically nothiing happened in it, besides the ending reveal?
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Fun with Misremembering
A long time ago, I talked about movie scenes that occurred differently than I remembered, but a lot of you probably never heard of that. Nuff said, I'm gonna go over stuff from cartoons that I remembered differently, whether I didn't focus on the finer details or something else. These are gonna go by quick, some at least.
Spoiler warning
Mucha Lucha: Chinche
Remember this show? Mucha Lucha is considered to be the first television cartoon show animated in flash, by people who never heard of John Callahan's Quads. Anyway, I used to watch this show a lot when I was younger on Cartoon Network, and it's pretty good. This episode was released in the show's first season. I remember watching it for the first time, I had to leave the room for a few seconds, and from then all I got from this episode was that The Flea was a jerk to his cousin, and he hated him for plot's sake, which would leave a rotten taste in most people’s mouths.
But when I returned to this episode years later, it was the exact opposite. I left the room around the time The Flea went through a prank where an elephant was released from a gift Chinche gave him. At first I thought it was just something that was in The Flea's imagination, but no, it was real. In fact, I completely spaced on Chinche intentionally icing out The Flea and attempting to steal his friends.
And then the climax. I did see the flashback to Chinche's birthday where The Flea gave him diapers. Hear me out, Chinche had worn diapers back then, but that was a secret, and because The Flea made it known to people accidentally, Chinche held it against him ever since, and of course they make peace. Looking back at this episode, it really made the show much better than I remembered it, and gave me some grander respect for what would be a more comedic character, The Flea cares deeply for his friends and family, he was the heart and the humor of the group, Buena Girl was the brains and the conscious and Ricochet was the brawn and the mouth.
CatDog: Dem Bones
This one's gonna be brief. This episode centers on Dog stealing the bones from a T-Rex exhibit while sleepwalking, and CatDog needs to return it lest they want to face museum jail time. During the climax where CatDog confront the museum guard while puppeting the fossil. I remembered it differently, in that I thought Cat was more into scaring the guard as payback for hassling them, but really, he was just trying to avoid getting caught and wanted to do a brief scare.
Hey Arnold!: Helga and the Nanny
In a review I did of this episode, I alluded to a false memory I had with this episode. I remember Helga arguing with a haggard old woman, and I assumed it was this episode, but obviously that wasn't the case. There was crossed wires between this and Crabby Author, best I can say.
King of the Hill: Hanky Panky
Now, I think a lot of people know how this went, but just to get you on track, Buck Strickland faces scrutiny from his wife, things are thrown out of wack and Buck's piece of ass Debbie wants to seduce Hank, and she dies at the end. What could this be leading to? Well, I thought Luanne died at the end. Both she and Debbie were blondes... and this seems embarrassing.
The only other Debbie I knew was the one from Wild Thornberries, so younger me assumed all cartoon blondes were named Debbie, so I was like, shit, they killed off "Debbie" (Luanne), if this actually happened, that would've made King of the Hill interesting, in that they jumped the shark higher than The Simpsons did.
But obviously, this didn't happen, hence my shock that Luanne was alive and well. If she could survive a propane explosion, she could survive anything, but to be fair... rest in peace Brittney Murphy.
Invader Zim: First Episode
I never saw much of Invader Zim growing up, so naturally I wasn't able to really soak in the show's humor, wherever it applied. This is one of two episodes I will go over. For the first episode, when Dib lost at the end I assumed he was hauled away by Zim's Roboparents. But chances are I mixed this up with the conclusion of that one episode of Teen Titans where Robin goes to the mountains to train with an old master.
For the actual ending, Dib's weapon of choice was destroyed, and he just gave up. It was funny, and established the show's firm balance between darkness and hilarity. To be fair, I didn't see this episode as much when it was new.
Invader Zim: Dark Harvest
Yep, the big one, depending on who you ask. There were a couple of things I didn't remember correctly. Firstly, what happened to Torque. I had assume Dib was gonna try and find a secret contact, but Zim murdered him. Then I thought, wait a second, nobody except Gretchen likes Dib. Nope, turns out Dib lost an otherwise apathetic Torque and Dib's realization was more comedic given the circumstances. It also didn't dawn on me why there were feathers, then lol, pigeon head.
Then the ending. I had assumed Zim took away Dib's vocal cords and made him sound like a cow... past me was not very bright. I didn't know the theme of the episode but Zim was stealing organs to clear a physical due to his anatomy being a giveaway he wasn't human. But, here's the actual thing. Lungs were the last thing Zim needed, he took one of Torque's, and he took one of Dib's, having replaced everyone's organs with random items, and for Dib, a tipping cow toy was the replacement for him.
I assumed Dib couldn't speak, but it turns out, yes he could, the only reason he made the cow noise was because, lungs are needed to breathe, and the cow toy was it. Once more, it was funnier than I remembered it, and I love the show for it.
Odd SpongeBob Nightmare
I have weird dreams, some of which involving cartoons, otherwise standard dream weirdness. I had one where SpongeBob and Patrick travel to Rock Bottom for some reason, and as they descend, their faces become more distorted. Well it turns out this was built on a forgotten memory. This was actually me remembering an episode of Rocko's Modern Life, Carnival Knowledge, where Rocko and Heffer ride a roller coaster and the g-force leads to the faces I saw in my nightmare.
I rarely ever saw Rocko's Modern Life back then, have mercy how times do change.
Random Misconceptions of Men in Black: The Series
Men in Black: The Series was weird, and I loved it for that. I was quite young when I caught this on Nickelodeon, so there are some small gaps between what I remember and what I mixed up.
Firstly, the intro. For some reason, I had assumed Agent J at one point had a firearm and violently shot at an enemy. But obviously, that never happened, he never fired his actual weapon at anyone, and the most violent expression in the intro was an alien in disguise.
I did misremember one episode, The Inanimate Syndrome, where because I didn’t know the context, I just saw what was a very weird episode. The context behind it was that a shapeshifting alien was causing trouble.
Random Misconceptions of Metalocalypse
I’ve seen Metalocalypse at a relatively young age. Consequence of that is that I didn’t pick up on the comedic nature of it at first, or how scenes went down. First example was their promotion for Duncan Hills Coffee. At first I thought it was just a general metal song about coffee, but it really played on the commercial dominance the band had, and the violence was just the crux of the show. Another example from that first episode was when Nathan commandeered the microphone, I thought he was gonna unleash hell for whatever reason, but he was just having fun.
There was also the Birthday Dethday episode, where I assumed a music video was something that actually happened in the scene, it wasn’t.
Bonus: The Simpsons: Various Scenes
This wasn't substantial enough to justify a full section, and a lot of them are the same. To sum up, I thought most scenes in The Simpsons were shorter than they actually were. Some examples include the climax of the hockey game in that episode, Marge's flashbacks in the aerophobia episode and the fate of Ozzie Smith in Homer at the Bat.
Obviously, these were longer than I recall, and that sums that up.
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Camping is intense
I was going to post this yesterday but I ended up not feeling too hot, so here is Day 1 of the horror writing prompts to try to get better in this genre.
Prompt #1: A family is on a camping trip. The parents are walking with their two children, a daughter and a son. The little boy trips and falls into a dark river. His father jumps to rescue him. Somehow the boy manages to swim to the surface. The father is nowhere to be found. When the mother gets a hold of the boy, she can’t recognize him. She tries holding him, but the moment she touches his wet body, her hands start burning.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Look there, honey! It's the front entrance to the park!" My husband, Eli, exclaimed. We are driving in my "mom mobile", what my kids call it, to what is supposed to be the best family vacation yet. Yellowstone National Park. Amazing views, wildlife, and a place where humans are deemed insignificant by nature. I wasn't too thrilled that we would be staying outdoors in flimsy tents, but once can't just tell him no.
We drove up to the gate and the park ranger leaned out of his booth. "Staying or visiting?"
"Staying two nights." You could tell Eli was excited, he nearly screamed at the poor man.
"How many?"
"Two adults and two children."
"Camping?"
"Yes." Eli beamed.
"That will be $40." The park ranger held out his hand as my husband passed over our credit card. "Two rules of the park for your safety." The park ranger handed our card back and pointed to the large lettering on the wooden sign posted on the wall. "Number one, leave the animals alone, they will not hesitate to kill you. And number two, stay away from the river."
"Is the river going to kill us too?" Alyssa, my daughter, squeaked from the backseat. Her eyes were wide with fear, she was never an outdoorsy kid to say the least.
"It could if you're not careful." The park ranger waved us through the gate and watched our car disappear over the hill.
We followed the signs down the dirt road pointing towards the camp site. The land here was untouched, you could tell that nature was in her element. There was no animals in sight, but I could feel their eyes as we passed the trees. Eli pulled into a clearing after the last sign indicated that we had made it. No one else was here.
"You'd think with spring break that we would have more company." Eli chuckled, unbothered by us being alone. He parked the car and we all piled out. I stretched and took a deep breath. It was fresh, unlike back in the city.
Alyssa and Hank, my youngest, began to help their dad take things out of the trunk and scattered everything through the clearing. You can't get mad at children for wanting to help, but I know that if I were my mother, it would all be in a neat pile after some good old fashion stares.
The sun started to angle itself in west and we finally had everything put together. One giant tent with extra rooms, the cooking utensils in a small pile next to a make shift fire pit, and our sleeping bags all lined up. Eli and Hank were looking around the clearing for some kindling, and Alyssa stuck by my side.
"Not much here to start a fire with," Eli piped up. "Let's all take a walk and explore a little bit while we pick up some wood."
Alyssa shot a look of fear towards me, the words of the park ranger must still be echoing through her mind. I smiled to try to put her at ease, but she furrowed her brow in annoyance. I knew that she didn't want to go, but I also knew that Eli wasn't going to let us stay behind.
We all trudged through the woods together, avoiding anything prickly or anything with red veins on the leaves. Chamomile lotion will only get you so far. Eli had our wagon in one hand, and Hank's in the other as they loaded up wood to take back.
The stillness of the forest was unsettling, you could hear the movements of it's inhabitants, but you could never see them. I was not one for being watched. Alyssa gripped my hand tighter. The beauty of it, on the other hand, was other worldly. Green leaves of spring and fresh buds blooming on them created a sight of peace, though I still couldn't quite put my finger on why I was still so put off.
The sounds of a rushing river filled the air as we ventured on. The scent of water cascading over the rocks filled my lungs. Reminded me of when the rain hits the concrete on a hot day. I could see Eli and Hank disappear behind some trees, their excited voices still letting me know that they were ok.
The voices turned from excitement into horror. I heard my husband shout, "HANK!" Before I could register what happened, I heard my son's scream of terror stop suddenly. My heart sank and I ran.
"Where? Where is he?" I caught up to Eli, breathless with Alyssa still in tow.
"He-He went under," Eli had already begun taking all his valuables out of his pockets. "He slipped. I don't know where. I'm going in!"
"Wait!"
It was too late. Eli dove into the river after Hank. I stood in absolute fear.
"It's going to kill them." Alyssa said, faintly. Shock was over coming her as well. We never planned to have to teach our children from a young age about the horrors of life and death, well not yet at least.
I turned to her and held her shoulders. "You stay right here. Do not move. Do you understand?"
She nodded, her face white as a ghost.
I turned and slid down the hill to the river bank, searching frantically for either my son, or my husband. Neither had surfaced yet.
The mud was thick and slowed down my steps as I tried to make it down the river a little bit, when suddenly, I could see my son's head.
"HANK!" I screamed, throwing branches his way. "Grab on!"
Hank pushed himself towards the branch that I was holding, his little head bobbing up and down as the river tried to pull him under again. His small hands grasped onto the branch. I pulled as hard as I could. After what felt like a fleeting moment, I managed to get him to shore.
I looked back towards the river for Eli, but I still saw no sign of him. I knew that I couldn't leave my son dripping wet on the river bank, but I also knew that my husband was in good shape to get himself out, even if it's further down. I focused my attention back to Hank and knelt to hold him.
My hands started to burn when they touched his sides. I recoiled and stared at him, that's when I noticed it. His face was not the cute pudgy baby boy that I knew, it was twisted in a face that I did not recognize.
"Hank!" I tried to grab his arms again, but the same sensation hit my hands.
"Mother," a dark, deep voice came from my son's mouth. "You have been selected as his new bride."
I fell backwards onto the muddy river bank.
"He has taken care of your… obligations." It continued. I could see that Hank's eyes were pitch black. I turned to look for Alyssa at the top of the hill, but she wasn't there.
"Alyssa!!" I shouted for her. There was no response. Looking back at what used to be my son, I could feel my heart speed up.
"He has taken care of them."
My back was against a large rock, I was too scared to look away.
"Come." The voice grew louder.
I could feel myself beginning to cry, hot tears streaked down my cheeks. The fear wallowing up inside me held my throat shut. I was frozen in that moment.
"Do not keep me waiting." A cold wet hand covered my mouth. I screamed but no sounds made it out. This voice did not come from my son, it was behind me. I was being pulled towards the river. I struggled and threw punches out at random, but I was still being dragged. I clawed at the earth beneath me until I felt my legs submerge. I turned towards the hand and looked to see what was claiming my life.
"Eli?" I choked. His eyes were black and his body was waterlogged. My eyes widened as I tried to take a deep breath, one last scream that may get someone's attention, but the cold water filled my lungs instead.
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Funkadelic - Maggot Brain
For the early days of Funkadelic's career the funk definitely took a backseat to the psychedelic. And while there are funky elements throughout Maggot Brain the real star is guitarist Eddie Hazel. I think Eddie Hazel is one of the best guitarists ever, his work in Funkadelic and his solo career is a blend of psychedelic, blues, hard rock, funk, and jazz and no one blends them all the way Hazel does. On the middle of the album Hazel plays fuzzy heavy riffs especially on You And Your Folks, Me And My Folks and Super Stupid. And on the ten minute opening and closing tracks he shows off his improv skill by playing delicate strings of jazzy riffs that create a beautiful stream of consciousness style solo. Obviously every single ayer on this album is a master at what they do but if its early Funkadelic, especially Maggot Brain and Standing On The Verge Of Getting It On, then Eddie Hazel is your god.
U2 - The Joshua Tree
This is an enjoyable album. The 135th best album ever? Oh my god no. U2 are factory default music. They are plain, unsalted potato chips. Bono is incredible at reaching into the void and pulling out the platonic ideal of banality. Like these guys can write decent music, but there is no soul. Inside those jangly chords and melodramatic vocals is just a bunch of guys who want to be famous and will do anything to get there except be sincere.
Fugees - The Score
In terms of rhyming, flow, storytelling capabilities, expansive vocabulary, beat crafting, and whatever else you want out of a hip hop record The Score is possibly the greatest record of all time. Wyclef Jean in charge of production and bringing a casual style of rap with heavy use of Haitian creole, Miss Lauryn Hill with a tough stacatto style while also bringing beautiful singing, and furtive Pras so easily forgotten. The mix of reggae and jazz into the hip hip beats made for some very unique flow and makes the group stand out on the basis of their instrumentals alone. But the rap skills of the rest of the group are completely insane and all three are ao perfectly in sync with each other. The lyrics are effortlessly cool and intelligent as fuck at the same time. There are absolutely no throw away tracks on here. Every single song could and should have been a smash hit single. And to be fair Ready Or Not and Fu-Gee-La did become huge hits and the transcendent cover of Roberta Flack's Killing Me Softly is one of the most evergreen songs in hip hop history. The Score has stood the test of time and become one of the most belived albums for a reason.
Joni Mitchell - Hejira
At this point in her career Joni Mitchell was an unparalleled genius at artistic expression. A little folksy and very jazzy, especially with the help of fretless bassist Jaco Pastorius, Mitchell is in the zone here. Every song developing its own complex series of characters and symbols. This is Joni Mitchell's most complete and cohesive work, although i personally have a slight preference for the less focused Hissing Of Summer Lawns.
Hank Williams - 40 Greatest Hits
What am i even supposed to say at this point? Sure I like Hank Williams but if you cant actually point to an album that is significant to call one of the 500 greatest then just choose aomething else. Hey there have only been three or four metal albums total and one electronic album so far. Why not choose some of that? Iron Maiden, Diamond Head, Judas Priest, Converge, Rainbow, Entombed, Gojira, Sepultura, Devin Townsend, Voivod, Opeth, Between The Buried And Me? Theres a list of metal bands with top 500 tier albums. Andy Stott, Carl Craigg, 808 State, The KLF, Jeff Mills, Juan Atkins, Robert Hood, The Orb, Justice, Moodyman, The Field, Leftfield, Mr. Oizo. There I gave you some electronic artists too. This list sucks. Oh yeah and Hank Williams is like the father of country music and is really good and important or whatever.
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My list of crapisodes
First of all, know that these are all my opinion. Ones marked with asterisks are ones I haven't seen, but to paraphrase Huey Freeman, you don't have to see a lynching to know that they aren't funny.
AMERICAN DAD!
Big Trouble in Little Langley
Gorillas in the Mist
Minstrel Krampus
Tapped Out
ARCHER
White Elephant
A Kiss While Dying
A Debt of Honor
House Call
Southbound and Down
Baby Shower
Smugglers' Blues
The Rules of Extraction
On The Carpet
Palace Intrigue: Part I
Palace Intrigue: Part II
Filibuster
Arrival/Departure
ARTHUR
Francine and the Feline
Arthur's Big Hit
Sue Ellen Chickens Out
The Secret Origin of Supernova
FAMILY GUY
Wild Wild West
Family Cat
FOSTER'S HOME FOR IMAGINARY FRIENDS
The Little Peas
FUTURAMA
Amazon Women in the Mood
KING OF THE HILL
Plastic White Female
Husky Bobby
Junkie Business
*Three Coaches and a Bobby
Bills Are Made to Be Broken
Movin' On Up
What Makes Bobby Run?
'Twas the Nut Before Christmas
Bobby Goes Nuts
Joust Like a Woman
Get Your Freak Off
Full Metal Dust Jacket
The Witches of East Arlen
Reborn to Be Wild
That's What She Said
Hank's Back
*The Petriot Act
Redcorn Gambles with His Future
Harlottown
Business Is Picking Up
Hank's Bully
*serPUNt
Lady and Gentrification
Lost in MySpace
Bad News Bill
*Uh-oh, Canada
*The Boy Can't Help It
MY-HIME
Mischief of the Wind
OURAN HIGH SCHOOL HOST CLUB
A Challenge from Lobelia Girls' Academy!
RECESS
Kindergarten Derby
ROZEN MAIDEN
The Stairway
SOUTH PARK
Chinpokomon
Timmy 2000
Red Hot Catholic Love
Raisins
Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset
Mr. Garrison's Fancy New Vagina
Cartoon Wars Part I
*Cartoon Wars Part II
Tsst
*Go God Go
*Go God Go XII
The Ungroundable
City Sushi
*Ass Burgers
*The Poor Kid
Cash for Gold
Raising the Bar
You're Not Yelping
Member Berries
Skank Hunt
*The Damned
*Wieners Out
*Douche and a Danish
*Fort Collins
*Oh, Jeez
*Members Only
*Not Funny
*The End of Serialization as We Know It
*Help, My Teenager Hates Me!
STAR OCEAN EX
Stampede
THE CLEVELAND SHOW
Cleveland Jr.'s Cherry Bomb
Wide World of Cleveland Show
Pins, Spins and Fins…
THE FAIRLY ODDPARENTS
The Boy Who Would Be Queen
Twistory
THE SIMPSONS
Two Cars in Every Garage, Three Eyes on Every Fish
Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment
Homer the Heretic
Lisa the Vegetarian
Lisa the Iconoclast
My Sister, My Sitter
Homer vs. the Eighteenth Amendment
The Cartridge Family
Lisa the Skeptic
Miracle on Evergreen Terrace
Lisa, the Simpson
Lisa Gets An “A”
Wild Barts Can’t Be Broken
They Saved Lisa’s Brain
Treehouse of Horror X
E-I-E-I-(Annoyed Grunt)
Eight Misbehavin’
Little Big Mom
Missionary: Impossible
Kill the Alligator and Run
Behind the Laughter
Lisa the Tree Hugger
The Computer Wore Menace Shoes
She of Little Faith
Sweets and Sour Marge
Pray Anything
A Star is Born-Again
‘Scuse Me While I Miss the Sky
Marge vs. Singles, Seniors, Childless Couples and Teens, and Gays
Margical History Tour
Smart and Smarter
Catch ‘Em If You Can
Bart-Mangled Banner
On A Clear Day I Can't See My Sister
Girls Just Want To Have Sums
*The Great Wife Hope
The Day the Earth Stood Cool
Homerland
Opposites A-Frack
Peeping Mom
TINY TOON ADVENTURES
Going Places
*Elephant Issues
YES! PRECURE 5
Komachi Quits Being A Novelist!?
Coco's Big Healthy Plan!
BTW, if you're wondering why there are so many Simpsons episodes, it's because this list was originally just a list of Simpsons episodes I hated. And if you're wondering why fellow long-runner Family Guy has so few, it's because I cut it some slack for a long time due to it being the internet reviewing community's whipping boy.
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I love your fic recs! Do you have any with Protective!Erik?
Protective! Erik is one of my favourite tropes so I have a TON of fics to share with you. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.
Protective! Erik fic recs
Erik Lehnsherr's Guide to Saving the Universe By Meeting Your Soul-Mate and Falling in Love in Less than 72 Hours – madneto, Pangea
Summary: Army Pilot Erik Lehnsherr is just trying to enjoy his day off when a mostly naked person crashes through the roof of his car. Even more alarming, the strange falling naked person—who goes by Charles Xavier when he's not speaking an ancient dead language—brings tidings of the apparent potential end of the world, and begs Erik to help him put a stop to it.
Well. His mother has been nagging at him to go out and meet new people.
In Sound and Silence – endingthemes
Summary: Erik is assigned to care for the special patient in room 301.
How Not To Meet Your Future Boyfriend – ikeracity
Summary: Erik punches Charles in the face the first time they meet. There isn't anywhere their relationship can go from there but up.
Forgotten – FuryRed
Summary: Charles is having a really bad day. Not only has he woken up in the middle of the afternoon with no idea where he is or how he got there, but when he returns home he’s confronted by a stranger with intense eyes, who insists that he knows Charles rather more intimately than Charles remembers…
Thou Shalt Not Eat Stones – valancysnaith
Summary: Two months after Washington, Raven found Erik in a skeevy motel off the Florida interstate.
“They have Charles, Erik,” she said.
The bedframe shrieked. In the bathroom, the showerhead snapped in half and clattered into the tub.
Demoted – JayPendragon
Summary: Erik Lehnsherr is a detective-specialist with the NYPD Mutant Tactical Unit, ready to help out where his skills are needed. Or he would be, if he and his partner hadn’t been demoted. For the next four months, he is patrolling the Lenox Hill precinct with Azazel – if he doesn’t die of boredom first. One night they are called in to investigate a potential case of domestic violence, yet the tenant assures them he is both alone and unharmed. However, there is something about this Charles Xavier that compels Erik to follow up.
Warning: Sensitive material, domestic abuse and dubious consent
Watch Your Back – swoopswoop
Summary: Bodyguard AU where Erik is overly protective and things aren't as simple as they seem.
If We Met Differently – swoopswoop
Summary: Erik wasn't the only mutant 'taken in' by Shaw, Erik learns this the hard way when a new mutant is dropped into his cell. They manage to escape together, but things aren't all roses after that. Erik has a score to settle and needs to make sure Charles is safe.
The Color of Love (Character Swap Remix) – BadLuckBlueEyes
Summary: Nobody sees in color until they meet their soulmates. When your soulmate dies, your vision returns to black and white. What happens when your soulmate only dies for a few minutes?
Omega Online – miss_aphelion
Summary: Newly imprinted Charles is having trouble dealing with his overly protective alpha—so in desperation he seeks advice in an omega chat room. Emma Frost is more than happy to help, Raven isn't helping at all, and Erik can't stand to be out of touch with Charles for more than five minutes at a time.
Cannot be Contained in Words – wallhaditcoming (uvcatastrophe)
Summary: Crime syndicate head Erik Lehnsherr travels to London on business, where he meets oxford student Charles Xavier. Their liaison spawns into a years long transatlantic affair, kept apart by Erik's work and Charles' studies,which Erik chronicles in photographs. When distance ceases to be an issue after four long years, the overlap between Charles' past and Erik's work create a whole new set of complications.
A Pertinent Reminder – ikeracity, Pangea
Summary: Sometimes it's easy to forget that getting involved in Erik's mob business isn't all fine dining and sex on yachts. There's nothing like taking a couple of bullets to remind Charles of the reality.
Part 3 of the Associates series
A Dangerous Game – ikeracity, pangea
Summary: When a familiar enemy of Erik's returns to the city for some old-fashioned revenge, Charles is sucked deeper into the world of the mob than ever before.
Part 6 of the Associates series
You don’t choose the thug life (except when you do) – Anonymous
Summary: Charles is kidnapped and discovers that Erik, the Alpha he has been dating for the past few months and is head-over-heels for, is not just a wealthy businessman but actually the head of a syndicate.
He is rather unhappy about this discovery and Erik gets an earful for lying to him. Then Charles is kidnapped again and really, he hopes mating Erik won't result in weekly kidnapping because he has a thesis to finish and papers to grade.
Marrying a Mob – Ook
Summary: Charles is a teacher at a very exclusive school. When armed men burst in on the trail of two children, of course he stands up to them and gets hurt. The children are Erik Lehnsherr's children (of course); a "prominent businessman" or, less politely, "mobster".
Erik is grateful to Charles for saving his children's lives at the cost of his kneecap. So very grateful.
Naturally he tries to reward Charles for his actions. Equally naturally, Charles will be having none of that.
Azazel finds the whole thing unspeakably hilarious. Naturally.
Rumor Has It – blueink3
Summary: "Did I hear the doorbell earlier?"
"Yeah, but I'd steer clear if I were you. It seemed a little tense. I don't know what's going on, but there's a kid out there who looks freakily like the prof."
Nearly six months after Cuba, Charles' life is turned upside down for the second time. Though he's slowly learning to adapt to the first, he's not sure he can handle the second. Luckily for him, there are a few people out there more than willing to help.
Forward Momentum – AsYouWish
Summary: Six months after Cuba, Charles and Erik find themselves thrown fifty years into the future, where they meet their older selves, the Avengers, and a world that's very different from their own. Faced with the pieces of their broken relationship, an unparalleled adversary, and dealing with Tony Stark on a daily basis, Charles and Erik do their best to adapt while trying to find a way back home -- and to each other.
Runs in the Family – Anonysquirrel (chibirisuchan)
Summary: Alex knew his own reputation. Hell, he'd started some of his own reputation, because it kept some of the smarter thugs off his back. Everyone knew Alex's reputation. There was no way Hank didn't know his reputation, but he'd brought Alex into a house with some really expensive things and a lot of innocent little kids and his too-friendly, too-harmless dad.
But clearly Hank hadn't told his family anything about Alex, just like he hadn't told Alex anything about his family. At least, not about the brain-breaking parts of his family.
"I didn't know where to start," Hank said, for the dozenth time.
Featuring mpreg!Charles in a Kiss The Cook apron, overprotective!Erik in wet black leather, and baked goods. Lots and lots of baked goods.
Round the Corner Waiting – swoopswoop
Summary: When things go so spectacularly wrong during a relationship, Charles - now a single dad - almost makes a big mistake, only to be stopped by a mysterious man who just might turn his life back around.
Hide Your Fires – swoopswoop
Summary: As the sole heir, Prince Charles, had no problem with the roles and responsibility that would come with ruling a kingdom. Though he was the only one who did not see a problem. After years of being shuttled back and forth between kingdoms, his Regent hoping he would find a match more suitable to being King, he is finally sent to Genosha. Though the path has never been less clear than the one to a foreign kingdom with no ties to his native land.
Shaw’s Captive – swoopswoop
Summary: Magneto killed Shaw, it had to be done for the sake of mutant-kind but what he wasn't expecting to find hidden deep with Shaw's complex was a man held captive, obviously tortured, that somehow made Magneto turn into Erik.
Erik now has a potential human in his citadel as he continues the war with the human's.
Mind’s Eye Blind – Sperare
Summary: As far as Erik is concerned, if you want to scare a person into talking, you have to present him with something more compelling than what he stands to lose...
And there is nothing in the world more compelling than Charles.
Chipped – Rosawyn
Summary: Magneto's fledgling Brotherhood find Charles Xavier in a mutations research lab as an apparently willing subject for an experimental suppression device.
Okay, I Feel Better Now – Harleydoll
Summary: The AU in which Erik is sent to a mental health facility after being convicted for Shaw's murder and pleads insanity, and Charles is his paranoid schizophrenic of a roommate. Powers, Hellfire conspiracies, protective!Erik, and of course the inevitable angst.
Five Nights in Nuremberg – FuryRed
Summary: When Charles escapes from the mutant prison he has been held in for the last two years he knows that he’s going to need help to avoid being recaptured.
What he doesn’t expect is that help will come in the form of a mysterious German man who rescues Charles and takes him to his home; a handsome stranger who, frustratingly, doesn’t speak a single word of English…
Five Bullet Points – Sperare
Summary: It was supposed to be Erik locked away in a prison one hundred stories below the ground.
Charles was never supposed to be there with him.
Notes: Unfinished but an excellent read. Highly recommend it.
Stolen – ishipitsobad
Summary: Erik is a miserable, grumpy, cantankerous bastard, and he has every fucking right to be. He drew the short end of the stick when he got the Underworld as his domain, and there isn't very much fun to be had in judging and governing dead souls who would rather be anywhere else but with Erik in the depths of Hell.
So when he meets Charles, brilliant and lovely Charles who is more popularly known amongst the mortals as Persephone, and feels the promise of something wonderful that could make his eternally doomed existence infinitely more bearable... you can bet all your drachmas Erik's not going to let Charles go any fucking time soon.
My Barbaric Darling – baehj2915
Summary: Erik is revivified caveman. Charles is the anthropologist(?) taking care of him. This is as ridiculous as it sounds. Romcom misunderstandings and prehistoric wooing ensues.
Swimming with Sharks – Not_You
Summary: Erik used to be a shark. Now he's not, and has to figure out how to be a good human father to his twins. Charles is willing to help.
Eucalyptus leaf of my soul - kageillusionz, ourgirlfriday
Summary: Zookeeper Raven at Taronga Zoo keeps having ideas on how to capitalize on interest in the zoo mascots, Koala Charles and Drop Bear Erik (the only drop bear in captivity!), who have captured the hearts and minds of the public. First it was to introduce prospective mates (It’ll generate attention, Hank. People are perverts. They’d love to see koala porn.). This idea was not effective the first through fifth attempts, as Erik and Charles seemed to show at best polite interest in the newcomer before resuming whatever marsupial debate they had going. However, the resulting lesbian koala orgies did indeed generate interest. Then Raven unveiled the Hug-A-Koala program, which was successful, as the public showed great interest in hugging Charles, and Charles seemed to enjoy being hugged.
Then Raven unveiled the Hug-A-Drop Bear program, and Hank, not for the first time, wished he had a flask handy.
Notes: Yes, they’re Koalas, yes they’re adorable, and yes, Erik is super protective even as a Drop Bear.
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KING OF THE HILL SENTENCE STARTERS.
Luanne’s Saga & Hank’s Unmentionable Problem
“I think [ NAME ] is going to ask me to move in.”
“Why do you let her go out with that hairball?”
“Them dang old birds, man.”
“That was a break-up.”
“Oh my lord, you’ve been dumped?!”
“You know, I was almost killed-“
“Why aren’t you saying anything?”
“You seem like a regular guy.”
“Just do as I say and we’ll get along fine.”
“What’s your name, son?”
“You need to have more confidence in yourself.”
“She’s in love. You blew it!”
“Did you really think you could fix it overnight?”
“it’s after midnight, what the heck are you doing?”
“This is not about the leaf blower.”
“Look, it’s gentle and all-natural.”
“Excuse me? What are you implying?”
“You were in the bathroom for an hour last night.”
“If I had to make an educated guess, I’d say he has polio.”
“I’m not eating bacon grease.”
“You’re trying to drug me?”
“Stop making such a big deal out of it.”
“Then I spoke to his mother and she said the most interesting thing.”
“And if she’s concerned, I’m concerned.”
“Just kill me now.”
“Whoa- [ NAME ], what are they doing to you?!”
“When a family faces an illness, all members should be involved.”
“If I were to take your colon and lay it out in a straight line, it would all the way around the earth.”
“Do you have anything that tastes good?”
“Anyone ever try that on me and I’ll kick their ass.”
“I just want this moment to last forever.”
#ask meme#askbox meme#rp ask meme#roleplay ask meme#sentence starters#mine*#TV*#kingofthehill*#king of the hill#tv#funny
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-漫~*'¨¯¨'*·舞~ 𝕾𝖔𝖚𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖓 𝕮𝖗𝖊𝖊𝖕𝖘 𝕳𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖈𝖆𝖓𝖔𝖓𝖘 ~舞*'¨¯¨'*·~漫-
Well well well, today we have four creeps on the roster: Brian Thomas, Tim Wright, Jane Arkansaw, and Kate "the Chaser" Hayes.
𝐵𝓇𝒾𝒶𝓃 𝒯𝒽𝑜𝓂𝒶𝓈 / 𝐻𝑜𝑜𝒹𝓎
Brian hails from the Tuscaloosa, Alabama area.
He's a Southern gentleman and his Mama raised him to be polite and respectful.
Calls his sweetie: darlin', sugar, sunshine (for you, Elsie), puddin', pumpkin or punkin, sugar drop, sweetcheeks, chickie (if you're a girl), teddy boy (if you're a guy) and babycakes.
He likes outside dates the most, hiking in the woods, picnics in a random field he found.
He tries to take you hunting (every country boy's dream date) but it broke his heart when he bagged a huge buck and he looked up and saw tears in your eyes as you stood in front of his kill and watched it bleed.
So the next time he went out for work, he brought you back your favorite food, and a rabbit that he'd managed to catch (it was still alive, unhurt, and SO cute with it's almost blonde fur. You named her Blondie and kept her as a pet. Brian paid for its vet visit)
But boys will be boys... The next time Brian went out hunting, he brought you back an honest to God, severed squirrel's tail and assured you he'd only cut the tail off after he started skinning it and that he'd shot it in the eye so it didn't feel a thing 😖.
Still, that tail is one of your prized possessions. You didn't want the squirrel's death to be for nothing.
Surprisesd you Christmas morning with a pair of boots he'd had made from multiple squirrel kills. They are the warmest boots you've ever had.
One hell of a cook.
Between him and his mother, you would get fat if Brian didn't take you exercising with him.
That's right, he took you to meet his Mama and he's a proud mamas boy.
You saw a picture of Brian in an Eagle Scout uniform. He was at least 15 in it. Of course he'd be an Eagle Scout, Boy Scouts are too mundane 🙄
Hoody doesn't talk much, he's more of an actions guy.
But it always throws you to hear Brian's Southern twang when you hear it filtered through that damn voice changer he uses.
Hoody is a campfire guy. Nothing makes him happier and more at peace than to hold you in his lap in front of a crackling fire.
Sometimes he throws in a Mystical Fire packet, either in blue, green or purple
Smells like the woods, fabric softener, wood smoke, and vanilla
Ahh 😌
𝓣𝓲𝓶 𝓦𝓻𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽 / 𝓜𝓪𝓼𝓴𝔂
Like Brian, Tim is also from the Tuscaloosa area.
He's not quite as outdoorsy as Brian, at least not in the woods.
Tim is more of a city boy
Parks, mini golf, I feel like Tim would also like kayaking, canoeing, swimming (the man stays hot) in the summer and hot tubs in winter.
Calls you: sunshine,honeypot, baby girl/boy, sweetie, buttercup, and pussyfoot. And your name cos... It's your name 😐
Dilf Time hours are open 🟢
This man is Master of the Grill™
He can take anything and make it taste professionally grilled with only salt and pepper.
Steals steaks from big corporation grocery stores by putting them under a case of water (don't do this! (And if you do, you didn't learn it from me, and no, I've never done this)).
Even grills fruits and vegetables. His favorite is grilled pineapple.
Sometimes he makes burgers and when you take a bite, you learn he's stuffed it with baked beans, or mild salsa and cheese, etc.
Claims he's a visionary.
Smells like: cinnamon, cloves, buttered rum, automotive grease, and cigarette smoke.
Very Hank Hill when it comes to his lawn. He starts mowing in the morning hours before it gets too hot, and is so particular that he measures the grass with his tape measure.
If he's not happy with the length, he pulls out his toolbox and makes minute adjustments to the mower and starts again
He doesn't have a riding mower either, just a push one.
Then he gets out his weed eater and completely loses himself in the lawncare role.
Loses track of time weedeating, trimming the bushes, power washing the driveway and the garage floor.
Speaking of garage, Tim refuses to have his car worked on by anyone but him. You ended up having to buy special soap to get the grease off of his hands after he ruined 4 of your favorite shirts and your most comfortable shorts. You still have them, but so aren't wearing the pink shorts out with Tim's handprints on your ass.
"Hey honey pot" he mumbles into your neck as his hands reach around and palm both of your ass cheeks.
"Tim, did you wash the grease I smell off your hands?"
"Uhhh... No?"
Finally comes in around noon dripping with sweat and you find him with his head in the refrigerator.
He always picks the tiniest bouquet of buttercups and gives them to you. Buttercups for his buttercup 💛
Also likes to kick back in front of a fire with you, but his fires are always in either his fire pit that he built out in the back yard, or in the fireplace inside.
Will serenade you in front of said fire with his ukulele, or his acoustic guitar.
His favorite songs to sing to you are "Angels Flying too Close to the Ground" by Willie Nelson, or "Outlaw Shit (Getting Out of Hand)" by Waylon Jennings. (These are both great old country songs and I think the Jennings one sums up how tired Tim feels).
𝓙𝓪𝓷𝓮 𝓐𝓻𝓴𝓪𝓷𝓼𝓪𝔀 / 𝓙𝓪𝓷𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓚𝓲𝓵𝓵𝓮𝓻
Masky is just a huge quiet presence, but if he's out with you and a guy treats you rudely, he's gonna light them up.
Tim speaks in the currency of "Yankee dimes"
A Yankee dime is "a kiss on the cheek from your sweetheart"
"Tim, honey, could you grab the clothes from the dryer?"
"What'll you give me for it?"
"Hmm two Yankee dimes and some sugar."
Okay so I know Jane already lived in the town where Jeff lived, across the street. And I go from the reboot in Mandeville, LA
But I like to think Jane wasn't actually from Louisiana, she just moved there from Texas.
So Jane is also pretty big into Southwestern style foods and texmex food.
She's also a lesbian , sorry boys.
Jane is One Hot Mama™
She calls you: Shug, honey, pet, precious, gem, princess, angel, sweet pea, toots, peach, honey bunch, and cher (short for cherie)
Smells like apple blossoms
Jane's parents made her attend cotillion classes in middle school, so Jane can definitely play the part of Southern debutant.
Jane tries to keep a good balance of time spent at home with you, and time spent in public.
It's just a little hard, given her... Proclivities and hobbies, along with all her scars. That mask gets HOT!
Jane likes to spend time at home with you
She never really had the chance to learn a lot of baking skills from her mom, but she's trying to learn.
She just learned how to make an set the perfect latticed top apple pie crust!
You were both so excited and didn't want to cut it because it was so pretty.
Jane likes to read to you in a hammock that she set up in the side yard.
She can't wait until the day she can call you her wife. She has a binder that she's been keeping since she was a little girl, containing everything she needs for the perfect wedding.
Likes to have tea parties with the neighborhood kids. It reminds her of a simpler time.
𝓚𝓪𝓽𝓮 𝓜𝓲𝓵𝓮𝓷𝓼 / 𝓚𝓪𝓽𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓒𝓱𝓪𝓼𝓮𝓻
I headcanon that Kate is of Cajun descent
She has family in New Orleans
But she pronounces it "N'Ahlens"
Kate's cure for any ailment is food. Sad? Here's some jambalaya. Sick? Eat this pepper., it'll clear your sinuses.
Of course she always keeps something on hand to combat the spicy food.
She calls orange cream popsicles "The Remedy"
Actually, she has a ton of different popsicle flavors. She buys the big bags of assorted flavors, in regular and tropical flavors.
She doesn't mind the Southern heat, but she hates getting too hot, preferring cool, dark places.
Your home is kitted out with blackout curtains and stays a cool 65° in the nonwinter months.
Kate calls you flower themed names in both English and French, even if you're male (I don't write the news, I just report it.) Examples:
Ma bouton d'or- buttercup
Ma muflier- my snapdragon
Ma campanule- my bellflower
Ma jonquille- my daffodil
Ma marguerite- my daisy
Ma rose trémière- hollyhock
Ma pivoine- my peony
Ma coquelicot- my poppy
Ma primevère- my primrose
Ma tournesol- my sunflower
Smells like: after the rain, jasmine, and leather soap
I feel like Kate has some abandonment issues, so if you're her SO, she's going to cling to you tightly
Be patient with her. Due to traumas as a proxy, she thinks everyone is out to get her.
She'll hear a noise in the middle of the night and is up and armed and finding it.
She sleeps with a knife under her pillow (sheathed of course), and she has other weapons hidden all throughout the house.
Many nights, you're woken by her cradling you to her body, hand over your mouth and a finger to her lips as he stares into the darkness, listening.
After a few tense moments, you'll feel her relax and take her hand from your mouth.
She's gonna hold on to you for a while though.
😅 this is my first time writing for Kate and Jane really. I hope I did them justice
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Is it ok if I request a platonic madcom matchup? If its romo only you're free ignore this nsbdjdnfbdb
I'm 5'3, aroace, and my gender is just. Art itself! Like on a conceptual level. I have short blue hair shaved on one side, a very "twiggy" build [I'm SUPER LIGHT jfbdjfb], and glasses. I have ADHD and it gives me a unique perception of the world [I usually call it my "artist's lens" jshdjsjd] along w a LOT of chaotic energy. I adore drawing and writing, making stories and breathing life into pictures make me happier than anything! I'm also a huge fan of video games [mainly nintendo] and loud music. I try my best to be nice to others and keep a sort of cycle of kindness going. I adore making new friends and just... being nice to people! It makes me happy :> I'm not super strong, definitely more brains than brawn and, n I use a typing quirk ⚡that lookz zomething like thiz!⚡ uhhhh... that's ab it! Hope this isnt too much/not enough jfhdjjd
OP MY FRIEND... YOU ARE SO VALID.... FELLOW NINTENDO FANS UNITE <333 you seem so cool i am seething with love. Enjoy :0
You got a platmatch! You matched with...
Tricky!
:D
I mean
What did you expect
Chaotic energy? Loud music? YOUR URL?? Cmon you'd be super good friends with mr clown man I can feel it deep in my soul
You were out painting the beautiful (okay LISTEN MADCOM NEVADA HAS A PRETTY RED SKY.) sky, littered with stars and clouds
Then you heard a very loud commotion nearby
You were curious, knowing many dangerous areas were right near your home, but you should be okay, right?
You inched over to look through the bush separating you from the sudden drop-off cliff
Below, you could see the infamous Tricky the Clown and Hank J. Wimbleton having a battle
You were very intrigued and interested, completely disregarding the fact that they were tearing each other apart
"Hey this would make a cool ass painting, with perspective and cool lighting and all" -your brain. probably
You scrambled to grab your easel
As soon as you turned away, the Clown managed to successfully kill Hank once again
You needed to run inside to grab a new canvas, not knowing your opportunity was ruined
You accidentally slammed the door in excitement
Tricky heard that
He wandered up the hill your house was on
When you rushed back outside, you very roughly slammed into him
Uh oh you just crashed into clown
You're lucky you had that canvas held out in front of you once you fell because with Tricky's reflexes, he sliced the thing in two immediately with his signature sign
"ARE YOU HANK FRIEND."
"W-what?"
"ARE YOU HANK FRIEND?!" He growled into your face, holding that sign dangerously close to your neck
"No! No, I'm not! I promise! I-I was just up here painting!"
You tried to gesture over to your other piece laying on the ground but he didn't allow you much range of movement, looking over by himself
He visibly relaxed, successfully convinced
(+100 speech)
He stayed there while you tried to calm down
You wanted to ask why he stayed but you didn't want to press him
He eventually asked you to paint him, and honestly you were kinda excited
He would do that constantly after that. He liked how you painted him :)
"ART VERY COOL. APPRECIATIVE."
You feel like you unlocked a secret side of this murder machine
He seemed very friendly and nice to you, and you shared a little bit more about yourself every time he visited
He LOVES jamming out with you oh my god
You two have similar music taste sorry I don't make the rules
You let him in your house once and he was drawn to your consoles
"THIS DIFFERENT FROM AUDITOR TECH"
You explained the console and concept of video games to him
He seemed really interested in Zelda :)
You joked around with him, and you found out he has very general humor and loves jokes and just goofing around !!
He also loves just being very chaotic
Like if you were attacked by a random thug grunt, Tricky would swoop in and swiftly take care of that little bitch
You just snort and say "ah hell nah tha clow kilt groot"
You two would proceed to roll around on the floor wheezing at that
If he sensed you guys were in danger and didn't have a weapon he'd just. Pick you up and run
"FRIEND WILL NOT GET HURT"
Meanwhile you were calling whatever wanted to attack you a pissbaby among other things
Sometimes you'd just blurt out random words that popped into your head without context
"Fourty-seven capybaras"
"I AGREE"
All in all he really appreciates you for being so nice to him and not being associated with hank lmao
Veteran madcom fans like RARARARA HE IS A KILLER!!!! A MONSTER!!!!!! AN ABSOLUTE MURDERER!!!!! Bitch he politely bought a hotdog he's not 100% kill mode
Hope you enjoyed this op :}
#platonic matchup#madcom matchup#madness combat matchup#madnees combat platonic matchup#tricky the clown#madness combat x reader#tricky#madness tricky#tricky x reader#but its platonic#because we respect peoples sexuality here
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please tell us literally anything about the wild west au i am so invested i am looking Respectfully this shit is so fuckin cool dude!!!!!!!!!
god im so glad you asked, ive been holding back the floodgates till somebody was interested
some minor spoilers if you haven't played project nexus 1 & 2
this is a big info dump so consider this a warning.
Im gonna separate the story into bullet points connected to each character.
Hank: Bandit/outlaw/bounty hunter. Standard stuff, killin, robbing and going after folks in auditors/phobos' gang. Its not hard to assume what hanks up to.
2bdamned: Doctor/gambler. Nobody knows if hes ever actually been to medical school but hes real good at his job so it doesn't matter to the crew. in the 1800's it was crazy common to die from infection so if your patients survived a lot the town would assume that it was 'the devils work' and that the doctor worshiped dark forces. so even though 2b had the common sense to disinfect his tools people stood clear of him. he used this fear to his advantage and likes to gamble in town, using the cash for medical supplies. hes real worried audi has gotten his hands on something dangerous.
Deimos: cowboy/outlaw. Hes an irish immigrant, he hated the city-life so he left to explore the developing west as a cowhand. He meets sanford as they're both working on herding cattle, the two of them quit to become outlaws/bounty hunters with hank. probably met in some sort of stick-up hank tried to pull on them.
Sanford: Cowboy/outlaw. (people usually estimate that 1/4 cowboys were black, but that isnt true. The men who owned the ranches would send their workers out to hide in the forest while the census was being taken to avoid taxes, so they were probably the majority. i really recommend looking it up so i dont make this post a mile long) Anyways, ford mainly worked as a cowhand/horse wrangler most of his life till he met deimos. both of them knew that they'd be unstoppable together as bounty hunters, leading them to join up with hank and 2b. (I can do some deimos/sanford hcs in another post if anyone wants it)
Auditor: business man/gambler. being made up of fire (or whatever hes made up with) isn't going to go unnoticed in the god-fearing west. so Audi stays up in his riverboat holding gambling events with people he can show himself around. He uses his wealth to buy property and expand his control, using Hoffnar as a sort of puppet to carry out his in-person transactions. People dont really even know audi exists. But he isn't just interested in gathering land, hes been collecting doctors and experimenting on people to figure out how to bring the dead back to life. (this part of the story is a bit loose, i haven't figured everything out yet)
Hoffnar/tricky: Doctor/business man. Sweet,tired Hoffnar, stuck under Auditor's thumb and forced to manage several towns of his growing estate. Townsfolk don't like him much, as most working class people tend to hate those who own everyone's property. Hes good friends with Jeb and sheriff, tending to stick around them and treat their injuries. Hes also very close to audi's resurrection project, giving a version of it to jeb before he defects(unknowingly infecting himself with it). He is blamed for Jeb's defection and is taken out to the middle of the desert where phobos kills him. but he lives on , succumbing into a feral zombie state, digging up graves and killing anyone who go out into the hills; spreading the infection.
Sheriff: Lawman. ive talked before a bit about how sheriff came down from the city with dreams of conquering the west. obviously this didn't pan out, but his charisma and likability showed to be an asset to auditor, who hired him to be the sheriff of his developing towns and keep the townsfolk compliant and quiet. in an attack to get a hold of auditor's recipe for resurrection, hank shoots sheriff in the head, killing him. but auditor decides to resurrect him, wanting to avoid losing control of the town in the aftermath of hoffnar's death. Sheriff can't remember dying but he has dreams of his brief time in purgatory. Auditor tells sheriff that jeb and hoffnar died in the shootout.
Jeb: Lawman/bodyguard. I Imagine jeb is from the south-west, working as a Vaquero and holding a good amount of medical knowledge. but the times called for different skills, leading him to work for the auditor. Jeb was hired to keep sheriff safe, (he may be the sheriff but hes not very good at it) posing as the deputy and acting as a last resort if hank and the crew managed to get past phobos' gang. you may assume whatever you like in regards to their relationship but i am a big sheriff x jeb liker, so when sheriff gets taken down at the shoot-out, jeb defects and vows to hunt hank down. Before he leaves, hoffnar gives him a primitive version of the resurrection recipe. but as he distances himself from auditor (and taking notice to tricky's antics) he decides to pick the lesser of the two evils and join up with the crew. absolutely taken aback when he sees sheriff alive (and not a zombie) he works with 2b to figure out how to use the resurrection recipe/use it to fix the impending zombie virus
Phobos: Outlaw/bandit. leader of the gang that inhabits auditors territory( this is where you'll find the mag agents and nexus g03lms), keeping out rival outlaws and anybody too nosy for their own good. the town believes sheriff is protecting them from this gang. phobos only has one eye that he protects behind custom goggles (glasses were not very advanced yet, so this is just unfeasible. but if i can have a fire-demon, i can stretch this) He carries out auditors orders to kill hoffnar, shooting him in the face and slicing his stomach open so the animals would take care of the body. He hates working under Audi, forced to do all the real dirty work while sheriff and jeb sit pretty in town.
i think thats all the main stuff...id be happy to answer any questions or listen to ideas as im still developing things
#long post#i want to get more 2b and hank content in#an i need to figure out more tricky stuff its really lacking#plus dei and sanford are doing hot cowboy stuff so the possibilities are endless#madness combat#madnessWest#ignore any grammar errors please im just a little man#gore mention#gore
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