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norabrice1701 · 3 years

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Cabinet List

Hi, y'all! This list indexes my fics for all of the various worlds in this cabinet, and is updated as the creative tides ebb and flow.

Last Update: 22-Nov 2023

List is largely headed by lead actors (despite others who may co-star) for more grouped organization.

I hope you find something you enjoy!

Cheers & Happy Reading, Nora

AO3 MidnightBlast

Sideblog for F1 fics & pics: @f1tyreslightmyfyre

Sideblog for "Joyeux Noël" fics: @leftenantmackgordon

"Top Gun: Maverick":

(22-Nov) Twist My Heart, Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw Twister AU Fic [Rated E for 18+ NSFW smut, language, tornado trauma/distress], complete

->->->-><-<-

Henry Cavill Characters:

The Duke & The Witch - Charles Brandon x Fem!OC, A The Tudors Slight AU Fic [Rated E for 18+ NSFW smut, torture], complete

->->->-><-<-

Sam Neill Characters:

Falling - Vasily Borodin x Fem!Reader, The Hunt for Red October Mini-Series Fic [Rated E for 18+NSFW smut, controlling/misogynistic/abusive themes], complete

Coincidence - Dr. Alan Grant x Predoctoral Student Fem!Reader, Jurassic Park Fic [Rated E for 18+NSFW smut, dinosaur PTSD], complete

Play With Matches - a partial WIP for Reilly, Aces of Spies for Sidney Reilly

->->->-><-<-

Formula 1 (F1) Fic:

Rivals, Lovers, Immortals - Angel!Max x Demon!Charles 2022 Season AU [Rated E for 18+ NSFW sexual content, language, alcohol], complete

->->->-><-<-

Daniel Brühl Characters:

Character Oneshots:

Appointment - Dr. Thomas Fischer x Fem!Reader AU [Rated E for 18+ NSFW smut, medical/doctor kink, heavily detailed medical procedures], complete

Teacup - Andrea Marowski x Fem!Reader [Rated M for non-graphic sexual content, reader emotional distress], complete

Gift - Pirate!Horstmayer x Fem!Reader AU [Rated E for 18+ NSFW smut], complete

Consequence - Ghost!Horstmayer x Fem!Reader [Rated E for 18+ NSFW smut], complete

Shadow - A dark!hypnotist Brühl x Fem!Reader AU [Rated E for 18+ NSFW smut], complete

Confession - Father Antonio x Fem!Reader [Rated E for 18+ NSFW smut, religious blasphemy, age-difference but no underage], complete (for now)

Mini-Series Master List

High Octane - Powerboat Racer!Zemo x Fem! Reader AU Series [Rated E for 18+ NSFW smut, language, enemies-to-lovers], complete

Series Main List

Swordplay - Olympic Fencer!Zemo x Fem!Reader AU Series [Rated E for 18+ NSFW smut, language, smoking], complete

Series Master List

Strange Case of Dr. Kreizler and Mr. Brühl - modern!Laszlo/Daniel x Fem!Reader, "Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde" AU Series [Rated E for 18+ NSFW smut, language, murder, death discussions, violence descriptions], complete

Series Master List

The Cloverfield Pyramid - Ernst Schmidt x Fem!Reader, 'The Cloverfield Pyramid' Lost Ruins/Archaeology Expedition AU Series [Rated E for 18+ NSFW smut, language, fairly-graphic horror violence, body horror tw], complete

Series Master List

Dance Card - Historical!Zemo x Fem!Reader Series [Rated E for 18+ NSFW eventual smut (dubcon themes, loss of virginity), dark!Zemo, language, non-graphic violence against women], complete

Series Master List

->->->-><-<-

James McAvoy Characters:

"The Sandman", Only A Dream - Morpheus/Dream x Fem!Reader [Rated E for 18+ NSFW smut, language], complete

"X-Men: First Class" Horror/Mystery/Romance AU, Hellfire Manor - Charles Xavier x Erik Lehnsherr [Rated E for 18+ NSFW smut on AO3 link, language, horror tropes/violence], complete

->->->-><-<-

Tom Hiddleston Characters:

An Offer Received - Jaguar Villain!Tom Hiddleston x Fem!Reader Series [Rated E for 18+ NSFW smut, controlling behavior, Dark!villain], complete (for now):

Part I - 5 Minutes

Part II - 5 Weeks

Part III.1 - 5 Months

Part III.2 - 5 Months

Part IV - 5 Minutes

Part V - 5 Days

Part VI - 5 Empires

->->->-><-<-

Colin O'Donoghue Characters:

"Once Upon A Time" Apollo Space Program AU, To the Moon and Back - Astronaut!Killian Jones x Secretary!Emma Swan [Rated M for sensual smut on AO3 link, language], complete

->->->-><-<-

Colin Farrell Characters:

"Fantastic Beasts" Modern Demon AU, An Accidental Demon - Demon!Percival Graves x Vet-Student!Newt Scamander [Rated M for sensual smut on AO3 link, language]; first chapter here, full story with warnings on AO3 complete

"Minority Report", Imagine me and you, I do - Danny Witwer x Fem!Reader [Rated M for sensual smut, language], complete

->->->-><-<-

DCEU/Snyder Verse:

Oh What A Night - Bruce Wayne x Clark Kent x Fem!Reader [Rated Heavy M for sensual smut, language], complete

->->->-><-<-

"Band of Brothers" HBO Show:

Out West - 1880s Western AU, Speirs x Fem!OC, Winters x Nixon [Rated E for 18+ NSFW smut on AO3 link, language, wild west violence]; prologue here, full story with warnings on AO3, complete

Of Spotlights & Rockets - 1940s non-AU with Speirs x Fem!OC end goal romance [Rated G], in-process WIP

->->->-><-<-

Jack Davenport Characters:

"Breathless" TV Show, Not So Simple - Otto Powell x Angela Wilson [Rated Light Explicit for mostly sensual sexual content], complete

"Pirates of the Caribbean" Modern AU, Turning Tides - James Norrington x Fem!Cutler Beckett [Rated M for smut on AO3 link, language], complete

"Kingsman"/"Harry Potter" Crossover, Title TBD - James Spencer|Lancelot x Percival [Rated G], in-process WIP

->->->-><-<-

Joseph Gordon-Levitt Characters:

No. 34 - “The Dark Knight Rises” Fanfic - John Blake x Fem!OC [Rated T for language, alcohol], complete

"Inception", Too Good to be True - Arthur x Eames [Rated T for language, hints of knife play and domestic dream husbands fluff], complete

Thanks for stopping by!

#daniel brühl #james mcavoy #tom hiddleston #colin o'donoghue #colin farrell #jack davenport #joseph gordon-levitt #band of brothers #dceu fandom #fanfiction #fanfic #wannabe writer #list of fics

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spartanguard · 2 years

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I posted 5,149 times in 2021

93 posts created (2%)

5056 posts reblogged (98%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 54.4 posts.

I added 4,133 tags in 2021

#killian jones - 1108 posts

#captain swan - 709 posts

#queue better get it - 702 posts

#colin o'donoghue - 401 posts

#i salsa your face - 293 posts

#cs fic rec - 221 posts

#captain charming friday - 195 posts

#just fuck me up - 178 posts

#captain charming - 167 posts

#ouat art - 159 posts

Longest Tag: 118 characters

#i guess one perk of growing up near detroit is that i didn't even realize the motown songs were covered by anyone else

My Top Posts in 2021

per the request of @teamhook :

Silver Fox Killian—with glasses

(more to follow...)

82 notes • Posted 2021-04-22 23:18:53 GMT

It's Getting Hard to Be Someone

Summary: Killian Jones lost a lot in Viet Nam—his brother, his hand, his sobriety, and his sanity. He has little hope of reclaiming the last two, until a chance encounter with a little boy—and, more specifically, his fierce mother—at a war protest sets him on a new path.

A/N: It's finally here—my contribution to CS Historical Fics 2021 ( @cshistfic )! I'm definitely a history nerd, and I've always had the idea for a story involving jaded Vietnam vet Killian meets single mom Emma at a protest, and this event was the perfect opportunity to bring that to life. Thank you to the organizers of the event for putting this on! (And be sure to check out the other stories in it!) Warning: this story involves PTSD and alcoholism. But it does have a happy ending. (Title comes from "Strawberry Fields Forever" by The Beatles)

rated T | 11.1k words | AO3

It wasn’t the largest protest by any means—no march on Washington, no sit-in, nothing particularly uproarious—but it still wasn’t small; this was New York, after all. The dozens or so of dedicated young adults did take up a decent amount of their patch of grass in Central Park, holding signs and chanting slogans that all supported the statement carefully, though clearly hand-painted, on the banner behind them:

END THE WAR IN VIET NAM

They made enough noise to drown out the din of traffic from the city beyond the trees of the park, but were still situated in a well-enough traveled area to make a statement, even if half their audience was wide-eyed tourists and the other half was jaded Manhattanites.

Killian Jones, from the view of his park bench, was probably more aligned with the former group, though that didn’t mean he didn’t appreciate their drive and optimism. He didn’t think it would work—that they really only had half an idea of what they were trying to achieve.

But maybe, if he hung around them enough, some of that hope would rub off on him. Because it had been a damn long time since he’d had any.

At least, it felt like that. In reality, it had hardly been a year since his discharge; three since he first deployed. But in those few years, he’d lived a lifetime.

He was of age with the protesters, more than likely, yet still felt like an old man shaking his head at the folly of youth. Those trust fund college kids would never know what it was like there, in the jungle—the thick air, the long marches, the bombs the bombs the bombs the b—

He shook his head; if he followed down that train of memory, it’d take ages to get out of it, and he was actually having a good day for a change. That didn’t mean he wouldn’t still be stopping at the bodega by the subway entrance to pay a visit with his friend Captain Morgan (or one of his other, cheaper brethren). But he didn’t need to head for the bottle...yet. Not until his one remaining hand started shaking, so he was alright thus far.

Commotion surrounding one of the park’s trash cans caught his eye; a group of young men were gathered around it, each one sticking the corner of a piece of paper into their lighters and laughing while the sheet went up in flames, letting the ashes fall into the bin below.

Killian couldn’t help but scoff. They could burn those draft cards all they wanted; if their number came up, Uncle Sam wouldn’t take no for an answer.

Perhaps the college kids were a bit smarter than him in that regard, though—he’d actually signed up for the military voluntarily, determined to follow his big brother Liam’s steps and make a name for themselves. Yet all it had wrought him was a lovely case of post-Vietnam syndrome, a medical discharge, and a spot on a waiting list for a prosthesis where his left hand used to be.

At least he’d made it out. Liam’s body never even got out of the jungle. (The official designation was “missing in action”, but—Killian saw what happened; felt the heat of the flames. He knew. And he relived it every night, waking up screaming and sweat-soaked in his secondhand sheets.)

Technically, he was being treated by the VA, and had check-ins and appointments every so often. Normally, he was seen in Brooklyn, where he lived, but there was a day several weeks ago when the phantom pains got too bad to bear and the overladen clinic had no openings, so he had to make the trek out to the Manhattan building. He was taking a walk through the park after, killing time before his train home, when he stumbled upon the small but dedicated rally.

And, for some inexplicable reason, he kept coming back. He was frankly out of fucks to give when it came to considering why. But it was a nice break from the monotony of liver abuse and spinning old 45s on repeat.

He never talked to anyone, though there were some fellow veterans visibly part of the proceedings. And no one tried to interact or get him to protest; his shaggy hair and leather jacket, hand and wrist shoved deep in the pockets, were either off-putting, or suggested he was like-minded enough to not need convincing of their cause.

It got him out of the house, exposed him to some fresh air, and was probably the only thing keeping him from a self-destructive downward spiral.

At least—until it was time to get on the train back to Brooklyn.

Then, he did stop in the convenience store for some bottom-shelf rum. He shuffled down the steps to the subway platform, trying to ignore the ever-present smell of urine and exhaust. Jumped on his train, flopped in a seat, and then uncapped the fifth. The sway of the train always reminded him of riding the Tube back in London, a lifetime ago as a small boy, before—everything.

Generally, he was able to remain mostly sober by the time the train pulled into the station nearest his apartment—at least, as sober as he ever was nowadays. But behind the locked door of the dingy flat he used to share with his long-gone family, the bottle was usually empty by the end of the night, and he was passed out on whatever flat surface he ended up on, the mattress or the floor.

And then he’d awake the next morning with a splitting headache and fading nightmares, waiting for something to push him in one direction or the other.

══════════════════════════════

As time went on, he found himself spending more and more time in the park. Not necessarily at the protest, but walking around, people watching. His caseworker, Robin, appreciated that he was getting fresh air, even if he was sipping from a flask the whole time. It was progress, of some sort.

That said—he still found himself among the dissenters whenever he was there, for at least a little while. He began to recognize some faces, though hadn’t yet worked up the desire (or courage) to try to talk to anyone. Similarly, most recognized that he was best left to his own devices, so while he might make eye contact and be on the receiving end of some half smiles, that was the extent of his human contact on the average day.

Until, one early spring afternoon, while sitting in what had become his usual bench on the outskirts of the demonstration, a small creature plowed into his knee—more specifically, a small child, he determined once he’d gotten over the jolt. (Something he was working on, but it was slow going when the slightest startle brought about a string of reactions more suited for war zones than city parks.)

When he finally looked down at the little lad, it was into a pair of large brown eyes and a wide grin, a set of chubby fingers gripping his knee while the other hand was proffering a slightly bent daisy.

“Fow-er!” the little boy yelled, shaking the stem toward him.

See the full post

100 notes • Posted 2021-09-20 19:23:28 GMT

silvered sea captain

Summary: The sea captain who teaches Henry’s summer sailing class is not at all what Emma expected—in a good way. She’s not sure if she’ll be able to resist his charms...or his beard.

A/N: So, as I pointed out last night (and has been haunting me ever since I saw their Facebook post), the captain of the Lady Washington (aka the Jolly Roger) has a freaking amazing beard. Just look at it. And between my own comment and some other people’s, I couldn’t let go of the idea of Killian with that beautiful mass of facial hair. So I wrote this whole thing in like 4 hours while watching TV. It’s not the most detailed but hopefully hits all the right notes on beard and silver fox appreciation ;)

1.5k | rated vaguely M

When Henry wanted to sign up for a summer sailing camp, Emma expected it to be taught by some kindly old man, or maybe a gruff Navy veteran who really wasn’t that great with kids. She figured Henry would end the first day tired, sore, and maybe a little beat-down—it’s not like sailing was an easy pastime, especially not on the old-fashioned tall ship that was proudly standing in the Storybrooke marina. She already had a motivational speech ready to convince Henry to go back the next day (the camp was, after all, nonrefundable, and she was a single mom on a limited budget).

But it turned out she didn’t need to talk him into coming back; he came running down the gangplank once the ship was safely docked, shouting exuberantly about everything and spouting off nautical terms faster than she could figure out what he was saying. All she could understand was when he turned around and yelled, “Bye, Captain Killian! See you tomorrow!”

Emma looked back at the ship, to see a tallish man waving back. He looked to be well-built, wearing a nondescript polo and jeans, but it was hard to read the expression on his face through his frankly majestic beard. Maybe she had been right on both her assumptions—his facial hair was reminiscent of the Gorton’s fisherman, gray and all, but everything in his posture seemed no-nonsense.

On the drive home, Henry continued to babble about the day, with frequent mentions of the Captain and the wisdom he handed out. From what she gathered, the guy was a Navy veteran-turned-commercial fisherman, who spent his summer vacation teaching camp. “And he’s got a hook, like a real pirate!” Henry exclaimed with all the enthusiasm of a 13-year-old boy raised on the Pirates of the Caribbean movies. (What? Orlando Bloom was hot.)

She had to laugh at his excitement, but was glad he’d found something he enjoyed that involved fresh air and not a screen.

Emma was working a tricky bail bonds case the next few days, so her best friend got Henry after camp for her. “Have you talked to the instructor yet?” Mary Margaret asked when she picked Henry up after the penultimate day.

“No; I didn’t get a chance. Why?”

“You should,” she said with a wink—which just made Emma groan; it wasn’t the first time Mary Margaret had made a romantic suggestion and likely wouldn’t be the last. But there was only one day left, so there wasn’t much point in even considering it.

However, when Henry came running up to her car the next day, the Captain was following him. “Mom, this is Captain Killian Jones; Captain, my mom, Emma Swan.”

“A pleasure,” the man said, and extended his hand to her. She took it casually, but then made the fatal mistake of looking him in the eyes.

Blue the color of the ocean behind him was staring at her from underneath dark, thick eyebrows and a similar shock of wind-tousled hair, a sharp contrast to the thick gray beard on his chin (though, up close, she noticed its dark auburn roots).

And then she was truly dumbstruck when he brought her hand to his lips and placed a kiss against the back of it, his bushy moustache tickling her skin. “I’ve heard nothing but wonderful things, Emma,” he said in his lilting accent. “And you’ve got an incredible lad here.”

“Uh, thanks,” she stammered. “He hasn’t been able to shut up about this all week, so I, uh, guess you run a tight ship.”

Captain Jones chuckled—a deep, somehow light thing that absolutely did not reverberate in her core, no way. “It’s always nice to leave an impression,” he grinned, and she could just make out the impression of dimples in his whiskers. (And she was choosing not to acknowledge the bit of chest hair teasing from the unbuttoned vee of his shirt, or the way the short sleeves highlighted his impressive biceps.)

“Mom, can I do it again next summer? Please?” Henry started begging; she’d kind of forgotten they weren’t alone, and the surprise made her finally drop his hand.

“Yes, Mom? Please?” the Captain parroted, smirking, and her ovaries may have exploded.

“We’ll see,” she said, in a classic mom response, if only to put some distance between her and her sudden unexpected attraction. She didn’t do that anymore—at least, not with guys like this: good ones.

“I hope so,” the Captain replied. “Henry might just have the skills to replace my first mate.”

They made their farewells and headed off for a camp-ending celebratory dinner at their favorite diner, and for the next week, Henry still wouldn’t stop talking about the camp—and its enigmatic leader. (If asked, she would decline to comment on the number of times she fantasized about dancing blue eyes and beard burn.)

But, like most things with a pre-teen, he moved onto the next obsession and by late fall, Henry’s adventure on the Jewel of the Realm was all but forgotten, save for their occasional drive past the marina. She was even able to block out her momentary infatuation—which came back to bite her when she ran her cart into someone else’s at the grocery store a couple weeks before Christmas.

“Beg your pardon, ma’am—wait, Miss Swan?”

The seemingly unfamiliar man in front of her had close-cropped dark hair, with a few lighter streaks throughout, and mostly ginger-colored scruff over his sharp jaw. She was about to go on the defensive until she looked in his sharp blue eyes and it all came back.

“Captain Jones! Wow, I didn’t recognize you without the beard,” she said. “Sorry about that.”

He chuckled and rubbed his chin. “‘S alright; I get that a lot. I tend to grow it out during the summer, when we’re at sea, but it’s a bit impractical for shore leave.”

“I can see that,” she said. And it was kind of nice to actually be able to see his face. Before, it had been hard to tell how old he was; she would have placed him in his early to mid 50s. Now, it was apparent that he was much younger—40 at best, but probably less.

“How’s Henry?” he enquired, and she tamped down her resurfacing attraction to answer. Although, honestly, that kind of fanned the flames, too—a hot guy asking a single mom about her kid with genuine interest? That did not happen often.

See the full post

104 notes • Posted 2021-07-10 14:00:35 GMT

warm

had a CS-ish dream last night and had to write this brief little thing that came from it. it’s probably been done a million times but here I am doing it again. set at the start of 4x12...ish.

Despite the fact she’d been living in the Northeast for a while, the biting cold February air always caught Emma by surprise. And somehow it was worse in Maine, without the insulation of tall buildings and car exhaust keeping the air mildly warmer. (But only mildly.)

And yeah, there was probably an argument to be made in favor of buying a more seasonally appropriate jacket; leather was great at cutting the wind but not much of a warming layer. But then she thought about her mom’s long, puffy (dowdy) down jacket and decided she’d stick with fashion over function.

Besides—she had her own way of keeping warm.

And he was waiting down the street, leaning (his lovely back end) against the hood of her Bug.

(God but she loved those jeans.) (Although he also clearly hadn’t gotten the memo on leather jackets in Maine winters.) (She’d crack a joke about “freezing his ass off” but Ingrid’s memory was still fresh.)

Anyways—she wrapped her arms around her to help brace against the salt-tinged wind as she hurried down the sidewalk to where Killian was waiting; she could almost smell the steaming hot cocoa he held in his gloved grasp (one of the few concessions he’d made to the cold).

At the sound of her steps, his eyes darted up from where they’d been inspecting the pavement, and he grinned—a wide, dimpled thing that never failed to bring a smile to her own face. His eyes sparkled even bluer in the crisp air, and she really hoped the cloud from his breath didn’t freeze in his beard.

She nearly ran the last few steps to throw herself into his embrace. Somewhere along the line, he’d acquired a cozy black sweater that he’d taken to wearing on these bitter days; while she lamented the loss of the view of his chest hair, she still loved burying her nose in the thick waffle-knit as she wrapped her arms around him and tucked her beanie-covered head under his chin.

“Well, good morning to you too, love,” he chuckled; she could feel the vibrations of it across his strong chest, especially once he brought his hooked arm around her waist. Almost immediately, she felt a rush of heat through her (not that kind...well, maybe a little) that erased any of the chill that had set in, right down to her bones—hell, maybe even down to her soul.

She just felt so...so safe in his arms; more than anywhere she’d could think of. She’d had some achingly cold nights in her life—the ice cave only being one of them—and could recall with vivid clarity the relief she had felt at the feeling returning to her limbs, usually in some sort of homeless shelter or stolen motel room.

They all paled in comparison to the steady heat (and, though she wasn’t ready to acknowledge it, love) radiating off him.

“That cold?” he teased as she huddled impossibly closer to his chest.

She shook her head. “No,” she mumbled into his neck. “You’re just that warm.”

~*~tags under the cut~*~

@kat2609 @thesschesthair @optomisticgirl @xpumpkindumplingx @shipsxahoy @amortentia-on-the-rocks @mryddinwilt @cocohook38 @annytecture @shireness-says @ohmightydevviepuu @profdanglaisstuff @wingedlioness @word-bug @thisonesatellite @distant-rose @wellhellotragic @welllpthisishappening @let-it-raines @pirateherokillian @bleebug @its-imperator-furiosa @fergus80 @killianmesmalls @ineffablecolors @laschatzi @ive-always-been-a-pirate @nfbagelperson @stubblesandwich @killian-whump @lenfaz @phiralovesloki @athenascarlet @kmomof4 @ilovemesomekillianjones @whimsicallyenchantedrose @snowbellewells @idristardis @scientificapricot @searchingwardrobes @donteattheappleshook @thejollyroger-writer

110 notes • Posted 2021-02-08 19:46:25 GMT

eduardocastro293 This sketch is in the hands of Colin O’Donoghue, the final look we designed for “Hook” was so successful the producers insisted on keeping his signature coat for several seasons. (x)

colinodonoghue1 Framed!

118 notes • Posted 2021-05-06 12:03:18 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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mryddinwilt · 7 years

Video

youtube

I’m sure everyone has already seen this gem but it made my morning. This cast is so cute and Colin is such a nerd.

#I'm glad we are keeping him #Colin O'Donoghue #colin o'liferuiner #come on get happy #I need this for bad days #because of ALLLL the cute and silly #as if I couldn't love him more #ugh

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innocenceneverfound · 7 years

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Happy Captain Swan Day

LOVE THIS IDEA @cat-sophia

ouat photo: I just love the casualness of this and THE HAIR! Definitely the hair!

cons/interviews: I don’t know if this counts as an interview but this was when he was getting ready to film The Dust Storm and was in Nashville. I think I remember people losing it over the flippies

other films/shows: I know his character was a shitball but i love this little scene (Honorable mention: Bathtub scene in The Words by Christina Perri)

Colin with friends: Colin and Sean’s friendship is my fave!

Colin singing: How could I not pick the musical?! It was the best. (Also this was the hardest one to chose! Every time he sings is AMAZING)

*all are not mine (some are credited through tumblr and some have the owner’s stamp on them). Let me know if one is your’s and I will certainly credit you! :)

#happy cs day #happy captain swan day #colin o'donoghue

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themattress · 3 years

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OUAT AND ME: SEASON 5

Story - The story for the first half of the season is the Dark Swan Saga and the story for the second half is the Underworld Saga. The Dark Swan Saga is split between a flashback story where the main characters travel to Camelot to help free Emma from the Dark One curse and a present day story where they are back in Storybrooke with no memories of their time in Camelot and Emma appears to have become a full-on villain who seeks to claim the power of the sword Excalibur for herself. The Underworld Saga is a direct follow-up to the Dark Swan Saga, as the heroes brave the dangers of the Underworld, a limbo zone between life and death that curiously appears to resemble Storybrooke, in order to retrieve a fallen friend.

The Dark Swan Saga...should not have happened. Or to put it more clearly, Emma should not have ever been the Dark One and Storybrooke should not have been a setting here at all, as it ends up ruining the potential inherit in a Camelot-based arc. And that potential is all over the place, everything about this show's interpretation of Camelot is subversive and unique and reminiscent of OUAT at its best, and yet it takes further and further of a backseat in favor of Emma as the Dark One....whenever it's not taking a backseat to elements from Disney/Pixar's Brave! Yes, this is a problem I neglected to point out when talking about Season 4: the Disney influence on the show that was always there in moderation has started to become more pronounced, and it's to the show's detriment. Brave isn't even an adapted story, not even loosely like Frozen was, it's a pure Disney/Pixar invention. And yet the show is linking it to Camelot and the legend of King Arthur!? Frankly, I find that to be a little insulting.

And on top of everything, the arc pulls a plot twist in the last third that is completely unnecessary and merely overcomplicates things while pleasing virtually no-one: Emma isn't evil at all, but Hook is because she turned him into a Dark One against his will in Camelot when he was dying of a mortal wound! Given that the arc was doing an equally asinine thing with Rumple in claiming that he had become a pure hero worthy of pulling Excalibur from its stone because he threw some magic dust at a bear, this twist just adds to already mounting frustration. And then they pull ANOTHER twist where after Hook comes to his senses and has his big self-sacrifice moment, we learn that Rumple was still evil all along and has invalidated Hook's sacrifice to destroy the Darkness by taking it all back, becoming the Darkest Dark One who is more powerful then ever before, with Belle being none the wiser.

So after that bullshit is through, we get the Underworld Saga and...it's honestly the best that OUAT has been since Season 3! It seriously feels like the Neverland Saga and the Wicked Saga mixed in a blender, and while that's not always ideal, for the most part it works perfectly. Many of the characters begin to feel like their old selves again, we actually start to get moments of hope and happiness back even amidst the bleakness of the setting, Zelena finally begins changing for the better, we get an influx of returning characters who - for the most part - it's great to see again, and we are provided with an excellent Big Bad, Hades.

But sadly, it was not to last. The Underworld Saga ends with a highly questionable decision, in the third-to-last episode, leaving just a two-part season finale left. If that decision hadn't been made and the show hadn't been renewed, we could have had ourselves a blowout finale that left most viewers satisfied. But because neither of those things happen, we instead get a weak finale which sets the stage for weak finales in the next two seasons as well, and all three of these finales hold elements that could have worked blended together into one finale, but are underwhelming when taken on their own. If there was any need to confirm that this show's best days were long behind it, this absolute joke of a finale was that confirmation.

Characters - Misery, misery, misery. That's what you've chosen.

* This is Emma Swan's worst season, bar none. From beginning to end, the writing is all about Emma Torture Porn, putting her through metaphorical and literal Hell and turning this once proud hero into a punching bag. No matter what she does, no matter what choice she makes, it's always the wrong way to do things and she is endlessly shamed for it. This is a natural follow-up to what was happening in Season 4, where the definition of Emma's role as "the Savior" underwent a drastic shift. Initially, it was simply to break the Dark Curse, but then Emma took control of her own destiny and redefined it to mean the protector of the residents of Storybrooke so that they can maintain their happy endings or be free to obtain them. But in Seasons 4 and 5, it suddenly got redefined as Emma being personally responsible for giving everyone their happy endings, her own happiness be damned. That's why she was obligated to sacrifice herself to the Dark One Curse for Regina, and why her being the Dark One instantly causes her to be treated as the worst Big Bad to ever menace Storybrooke despite barely doing anything actually villainous. In fact, "Emma gets punished for doing good" is a pretty recurring theme at this point. It's tiring to root for such a perpetually miserable heroine, and so while other things hold my investment in this season, Emma is sadly not one of them.

* Snow and Charming have one good episode in the Dark Swan Saga, but that's not enough to make up for what utterly boring characters and utterly horrible parents they are in every other episode. The fact that they don't lift a finger to find Emma, talk to her, and get her to see reason when they think she's evil is beyond disgraceful, especially when it happens in the same arc where them being written as surrogate parents to Regina is taken to a whole new level of creepy. Like, a sickening level of creepy. They are suddenly written well, in regards to their parentage of Emma and in regards to everything else, in the Underworld Saga, but again, the show not ending means that it's not going to last into the next story arc.

* Henry really comes into his own this season. Being written like a teenager instead of a child does wonders for his character, as even amidst fantastical fairy tale backdrops and with the magical position of Author, he struggles with real teenage issues that anyone who is or has ever been a teenager can relate to. He experiences his first crush, struggles with trying to stand as more of an equal with the adult heroes, and even undergoes what's basically a crisis of faith. And now that he's past puberty, Jared Gilmore is a much better actor than he's been in the past, finally selling the material that's written for his character the way it needs to be.

* Regina starts off in full Mary Sue mode, following up naturally from Season 4. "The Price" is an episode that is everything wrong with her character in microcosm. However, after a few episodes pass she settles down into a relatively inoffensive, bland character for the most part. In The Underworld Saga, there are even times when she is downright likable, which almost distracts from how ludicrously good she has it in a place that is allegedly full of her resentful victims, whom she does absolutely nothing to help. Unfortunately, because of the questionable decision that was made by the writers in the penultimate episode, the two-part finale brings her full circle, with both said finale and the show going forward suffering for it.

* If Rumple had a return to form in Season 4, then Season 5 makes the issues with his character in Season 3 look miniscule by comparison. His imp self, whether featuring in flashbacks or as the form the Darkness takes to needle Emma or Hook into embracing it, is still a delight that Robert Carlyle clearly enjoys playing. But his human self, Mr. Gold, is handled atrociously. First he is an over-the-top coward beyond what he ever was in the past, then insufferably smug about being a "hero" even though he doesn't deserve that position, then it looks like he might just make the final turn to good before he swings in the opposite direction and becomes the Darkest Dark One, and as the Darkest Dark One he is a cold, abusive dickwad who isn't fun to watch and Robert Carlyle doesn't seem to be having as much fun playing, as he starts phoning it in on more occasions than is usual for an actor of his caliber. It's only in the last five episodes, when Belle is taken out of the picture by a sleeping spell, that he suddenly regains some of his former glory and becomes engaging again, but even then the series not ending deprives him of a conclusion at a point where he could have one, so we're stuck with the Darkest Dark One for a whole 'nother season.

* Hook is mostly great in this season. In the Dark Swan Saga, he is badly handled and often behaving insufferable in the Storybrooke parts of the story, culminating in his turn as Dark Hook which, while Colin O'Donoghue performs it amazingly, was highly unnecessary and only serves to convolute an already heavily loaded arc at the last minute. However, in the Camelot parts of the story, he is on top form as a romantic hero, complete with his original pirate garb. And he really gets to shine in the Underworld Saga, where we see him be brave in the face of bloody torture, recover from depression and rediscover hope, find closure with his older brother Liam, confirm his and Emma's relationship as True Love, and finally be resurrected by Zeus after being ordained a True Hero by him. He sadly has precious little to do in the finale and next season will totally forget about all this, but taken on its own, it's good stuff.

* How do you solve a problem like Belle? Put her to sleep, apparently. Yes, after having her re-enter a romantic relationship with Rumple (following a ridiculous, not-fooling-anyone tease that maybe she won't take him back), Belle learns that she's been duped again since Rumple had taken back the Darkness before she slept with him. But it's too late now - she's pregnant with his child! And she learns this from Rumple, at the same time he reveals his deception to her and finally gives her a "This is who I am, take it or leave it" ultimatum. She spirals into an erratic mess, tries to redeem another bad boy romantic interest only to end up condemning his soul to the River Styx, and then puts herself under a sleeping spell after giving Rumple the extremely poorly-worded order to "do whatever it takes" to get her and their unborn child out of the Underworld safely. Rumple then literally objectifies her by placing her in Pandora's Box, which he lets slip through a portal in the season finale. And that's literally it. The writers aren't even trying with Belle. They just don’t care about her. She's done as a character.

* Robin Hood's soul is obliterated. I know it's weird to start off like this, with the last thing that happens to him in the season, but that really does overshadow what little else he does in the season where he was ironically made an "official" regular. This is the culmination of the misuse of his character: being made Deader than Dead by his rapist's psycho boyfriend. And yeah, the next two seasons retcon this fate, but when Season 5 is taken as is, then you enter the finale on a sour note because the bleakest thing possible happened to someone who really didn't deserve it, all so that Regina can make certain developments that would have better off not being made. It again makes me wish that Season 5 was the final season, since then there would be no option to make those developments and Robin could be spared. But as it stands, it's the last indignity inflicted upon the legendary hero, and on Sean Maguire.

* Zelena is promoted to regular this season, to the surprise of no-one. What is surprising is that the writing issues she had in the previous seasons are all but absent here. Zelena is an incredibly entertaining, funny, deliciously wicked, sympathetic, nuanced and ultimately redeemed character this season, with Rebecca Mader doing some of her best acting work. Her joining forces with the villainous King Arthur, her giving birth to her child, her tragic romance with Hades, and her reconciliation with her mother and sister are all highlights.

* Hades, the Big Bad of the Underworld Saga, is the best Big Bad this show has had since the Neverland Saga's Peter Pan. He's devious, underhanded and hateful, but he's also funny and smooth and, when it comes to Zelena, legitimately romantic. Greg Germann's performance is naturally the glue that holds it all together; he is just so charismatic. Hades is also a great example of a nuanced villain who doesn't end up getting redeemed, as in a great twist the curse that Zelena's True Love's Kiss breaks, a curse to stop his heart and dull his feelings, was put on him by Zeus for a damn good reason, as he is an absolutely sadistic psychopath with his heart beating. The only downside to Hades (besides the needless Disney-esque fiery blue hair effect they occasionally use on him) is that his defeat is rather anticlimactic, hinging entirely on the fact that he forged the only thing in existence that could kill him. If he hadn't made such a monumentally stupid blunder, taking him down would have been much harder. His actual death scene is well-done, but in context it’s pretty silly.

* Camelot introduces an onslaught on new characters: King Arthur who is reimagined as an insecure, self-righteous tyrant, and his wife Queen Guinevere whom he has under mind control so that she's unwaveringly loyal to him. There is also the short-lived Sir Percival, the even shorter-lived Sir Kay, and Sir Morgan who ends up being the Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. Sir Morgan's daughter, Violet, is Henry's adorkable new girlfriend. The nearby kingdom of Dunbroch gives us Merida and her father King Fergus, whom was surprisingly allowed to get killed off. And we even have some returning characters like Sir Lancelot (not killed by Cora after all), Mulan (suddenly a lone mercenary despite having last been seen joining the Merry Men), and Ruby (and oh boy, I'll get back to Ruby soon...)

Two absolutely pivotal characters to the show's overall lore are Merlin and Nimue. Merlin, who contrary to usual depictions is a young black guy, is the Sorcerer who was constantly alluded to in Season 4, responsible for such things as the position of the Author. His ex-lover Nimue became the first Dark One through drinking in the power of the Holy Grail and then perverting it for murderous vengeance. It was Merlin who reforged the Holy Grail into Excalibur afterward, then breaking it in half and creating the Dark One Dagger out of the top half. Nimue, meanwhile, is the closest to a Big Bad that the Dark Swan Saga has apart from Emma and Hook, influencing them as an avatar of the Darkness prior to her actual soul, still bonded to the Darkness, rejoining the land of the living alongside the other dead Dark Ones. With her ashen-gray face and creepy monotone voice, Nimue is a truly unsettling figure.

* While there are a few new characters encountered in the Underworld such as Hercules, Megara and Zeus, the main attraction is all of the returning dead characters they were able to get back on the show. Neal, Cora, Henry Sr., Peter Pan, Cruella De Vil, the Blind Witch, Prince James, Milah, Liam, Gaston, the Sorcerer's Apprentice....even obscure characters like Stealthy and Claude! Some are utilized better than others, but it's great to see all of them.

And then there's one living character whose return I could have done without - Dorothy Gale, who is even blander as an adult than she was as a child! And to add insult onto injury, the writers clearly set up a gay storyline between Mulan and Ruby in the Dark Swan Saga, only for Disney to apparently step in and not allow it since Mulan is in the Disney Princess lineup and her in a gay romance is bad for the brand (then why'd you allow her to have feelings for fellow Disney Princess Aurora then!?), and so out of nowhere we get the Ruby/Dorothy romance in the span of just a single episode. Watching Meghan Ory desperately attempt to act like she's in love with the wooden actress who plays Dorothy is painful to watch, and this being Ruby's final appearance just hammers how how utterly wasted this poor character was.

* The two-part season finale brings another unwelcome return: the Dragon from the abominable "Selfless, Brave and True" episode of Season 2 (like Lancelot, he is retconned into having survived). We are also introduced to Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, and the Land of Untold Stories in which they reside...and as I'll detail in my next post, this is a place and a concept that is so wasted, even by the standards set by this show, that it's mind-boggling. Last and most certainly least, we have the Evil Queen that Dr. Jekyll's serum brings out of Regina, with Lana Parilla in full camp mode while playing her. And after a fake-out where it looks like she's dealt with, she's shown to be alive and will be our next antagonist. Joy.

Atmosphere - Whether you like this season's atmosphere or not, there is no denying that it has distinct atmosphere: dark and morose and foreboding, to the point of bleakness, coupled with a sweeping epic and romantic feel. I personally feel like this atmosphere is perfectly appropriate when the stakes are raised so high and the show is dealing with two of the oldest mythologies in the world, Arthurian and Greek respectively, but it seems that too frequently the show doesn't know when to hold back and reign it in a little. This is especially the case in the final two episodes of each arc (not including the two-part season finale). I must definitely give props, however, to the designers of the Underworld's version of Storybrooke, or as fans liked to call it: "Scarybrooke". With the decaying buildings, red sky filter, and broken clock tower in the middle of the street, you really feel like the characters are traversing an eerie new world even though it's technically the regular old Storybrooke set that is being used.

Also, despite being featured in the wretched episodes "The Price" and "Dreamcatcher" and has the first part of the wretched finale named after it, I really like the usage of the song "Only You" by Alison Moyet. It adds kind of a (suitably romantic) theme song to the season.

Episode Quality - While the Dark Swan Saga may not be a good one overall, its episode quality is a mixed bag. "The Broken Kingdom" and "Nimue" are easily the best episodes, since they are almost exclusively focused on Camelot. "The Dark Swan" and "The Price" are easily the worst episodes, starting the arc on off the worst possible foot. "Dreamcatcher" and, especially due its Brave connections, "The Bear and the Bow" are vey weak episodes, while "Siege Perilous" and, in spite of its Brave connections, "The Bear King" are surprisingly strong episodes. And then there's the Dark Hook trilogy of "Birth", "Broken Heart" and "Swan Song", which have some amazing visuals, brilliant acting, and dramatically thrilling moments, but they unfortunately can't shake off just how badly the Dark Hook twist affects the story. I never liked the idea of making Emma the Dark One, but if the show was going to do that, then they should have gone the whole way with it rather than pull this kind of bait and switch.

The first four episodes of the Underworld Saga, dedicated to saving Hook, are its strongest: "Souls of the Departed", "Labor of Love", "Devil's Due" and "The Brothers Jones" flow really well into one another and all have their share of memorable moments and interesting character development. "Our Decay" and "Sisters" are also strong episodes, although they have some drawbacks such as a well-acted but painfully uncomfortable scene between Rumple and Belle in the former and the inexplicable wasting of Prince James in the latter. "Her Handsome Hero" and "Ruby Slipper" are the only truly weak episodes in the arc, and even they have their moments, usually courtesy of Hades. Finally, the climactic "Firebird" and "Last Rites" are of the same quality - everything that transpires in the Underworld is fantastic, but everything that doesn't is flawed. The flashback in the former is completely nonsensical and does Emma's character a huge disservice, which is especially a shame when her present-day material is some of her best in the season. The Storybrooke-based events in the latter culminate in Robin Hood's death and I've already made my thoughts known about that, but the quest in the Underworld shared between Hook and Arthur is something I never knew I needed, with Colin O'Donoghue and Liam Garrigan's chemistry being off the charts and the resolution we get for both the Underworld and Arthur's character being absolutely perfect.

And then there's the two-part finale, "Only You" and "An Untold Story", which I think actually holds up even worse than it did when it first aired. Emma revealing to everyone else that Hook is back alive, Rumple absorbing all Storybrooke's magic into the Olympian Crystal, Emma and Regina's argument that makes Henry think Regina is regressing, Henry blaming magic for everything and setting out with Violet on a quest to destroy it, and both the heroes and Rumple reacting accordingly all happens within the first 10 minutes. Just 4 minutes later, Emma and Regina are in Boston, Henry and Violet are in New York, and Snow, Charming, Hook and Zelena are in the Land of Untold Stories. And then, despite all this rushing, we end up spending 7 fucking minutes on a woe-is-me, martyr complex speech by Regina to Emma in Neal's old apartment. Regina and her angst ends up slowing down the second part as well, as the process of her using Jekyll's serum and separating the Evil Queen from her (encouraged by a re-idiofied Snow) goes on forever. The final scene being the Evil Queen's return, with her promising to be the next Big Bad to threaten Storybrooke, is the exact opposite of how to get me hyped for next season. At least with Season 4′s finale, there was the promise of going to Camelot in addition to Emma as the Dark One. What does this finale have to accompany the Evil Queen factor? Mr. Hyde and his invisible friends? Weak!

There are some elements in this finale that work and that I would have liked to see in a series finale at this point - Henry and Violet hanging out together, Rumple with his Olympian Crystal plot, Neal having some posthumous relevancy, the Land Without Magic outside Storybroke being a setting, and the full-circle element in regards to "New York City Serenade". But none of those things are worth how they were utilized here, alongside the reappearance of the Dragon, the wasting of the Land of Untold Stories, and Henry's cringe-inducing speech about believing in magic that Jared Gilmore probably won't be putting on any career highlight reels.

Overall - Season 5 is probably the most personally frustrating season of the show to me. I love it, I hate it, I find joy in it, I find despair in it, I can enjoy it for what it is while also agonizing over what it could have been. The one consistent I have in regards to it is that it should have been the final season of the show. If Adam and Eddy had allowed that, they still would have had enough goodwill from viewers to potentially do more in the OUAT universe afterward (ex: more spin-offs like Once Upon a Time in Wonderland; maybe one where they could utilize their Land of Untold Stories idea which seems tailor-made for an anthology series). Because as lows as this season's low points are, its highs are not going to be matched by the next two seasons, and that was the death of OUAT as a profitable franchise.

#Once Upon a Time #ABC #OUAT and Me #Opinion #Analysis

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