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#haz says a thing
hazmatmaid · 3 days
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What are your current thoughts on Gaster’s motives with the Secret Bosses, if you had to give your best guess?
To be completely honest, I'm of the mind that he doesn't necessarily have malicious intent with breaking their senses of reality (if he is the one doing it), but he severely misjudges how they're going to take the information he gives them.
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So he's less of a villainous force, and more of a cryptid that flits in the corner of your eye, and as soon as you turn your head like "What? What was that?" your croissant has gone missing.
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hazmatspade · 10 months
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speaking of appearance updates:
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odd-chips · 3 months
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"You keep drawing Tim and profile-"
AND I'LL DO IT AGAIN!
AND HE'LL KEEP GETTING MORE CHINS, TOO!!
Anyways it's cliche, but I'm a big, big fan of "parents hate The Thing, but kid is The Thing" trope!! (This has NOTHING to do with my Danny Phantom obsession. Whatever. Leave me alone. Please ignore the fact that his sister knows he's The Thing and has to try to help keep it a secret. Irrelevant.)
Currently I only have a vague undercurrent of a story where some important Roseberg matriarch was violently killed by some type of werecreature, and the family has held this resentment for decades. I'd like for it to turn out that what actually happened was she got down bad for the werecreature and they ran away together or something hoiJKLFD
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otter-byte · 6 months
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Aegsksmsgdgn I had a boy fall asleep in my arms tonight by accident. He tried to match my drinking pace despite me having a good 20kg on him, hopefully his hangover tomorrow isn't too bad
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wri0thesley · 2 years
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stranger things spoilers but he becomes a scary evil murder monster so regular bad dude fuckers AND monster fuckers come get your dinner
back in the olden days i saw harry p0tter and the deathly hallows part 2 in theatres seven times for those . . . forty seconds of jcb screentime? just so you all know how i was In Deep. nowadays i'm like . . . can i invest myself into four seasons of a show in which he actually has an important role? perhaps. perhaps if haz will watch it with me
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hazmatmaid · 4 months
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I feel like people must’ve forgotten how objectively horrifying Spamton NEO is, like on a psychological level. Once he goes NEO, that’s the point of no return. The only way out of it for him is to basically die.
Not to mention Puppet Scarf’s flavor text:
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Yes, Ralsei can no longer cast healing spells as effectively with it equipped, but think of the implication; that’s Spamton. By the time he goes NEO, he gave up on healing and making amends. By this point, he’d rather go out and kill everyone who wronged him (or he thinks they did) than seek forgiveness, or forgive them himself.
And in Snowgrave, he has no problem with letting (or even encouraging) someone commit mass murder if he can take advantage of the situation.
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He may call you out on it, but by that point he’s mostly projecting his own self-hatred onto Kris.
But if we adhere more closely to the normal Ch2 route, it’s implied that he still had murderous intentions with NEO.
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And even if you end the fight by sparing him and get the Dealmaker instead, it's already too late for him. He went NEO, and there's no other way it can end for him.
In other words, NEO spells his doom.
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hazmatspade · 2 years
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Small question for those of you who only follow here and not my main: would it benefit you if I opened up my ask box on this blog?
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ellecdc · 20 days
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love, you HAVE to continue the moonwater x pregnant reader who are announcing the pregnancy with a very dramatic barty and over enthusiastic sirius
say less (this was supposed to be a short little blurb, how'd it end up being so long? [it's cuz they're dramatic])
poly!moonwater x pregnant!reader who tell their friends // 2nd trimester
The first sound you heard when you, Remus, and Regulus stepped through the floo at Potter manor was the sound of Harry squealing in delight.
“Again, Pa’foo! Again!” The toddler cheered as Sirius, who was laying on the floor on his back, took Harry’s hands in his and lifted his godson up into the air by his feet.
“Quick, Red! What are those muggle flying thingies called again!?” Sirius shouted through the apartment. 
You chuckled at the sight as Regulus tried passing you a sweater on account of “the many drafts in Potter manor” which you quickly refused. “I think you’re looking for aeroplane, Sirius.” 
Sirius leaned his head back further so he was looking at you upside down and offered you a flirty grin.
Before he was able to say anything too salacious, Harry squealed and launched himself at you.
“Auntie!”
“Hi Haz!” You cheered back, bending down to hold the child to your chest. “Having fun?”
Harry confirmed that he was as he moved to hug Remus and Regulus before tearing off to tell his parents that everyone was here.
Sirius accepted Remus’ hand up and they clapped each other on the back in what Regulus has dubbed a “bro hug” that he was “zero percent interested in ever receiving, thank you”.
“Nice of you all to finally show up. V’been here for hours already.” Sirius taunted.
“He’s a sodding liar.” You heard Lily say as the four of you made your way to the dining room where Harry was already sitting in his booster seat and shoving food into his mouth by means of one baby fork and one pudgy hand. “He’s been here for five minutes maybe.”
Sirius scoffed. “You’re no fun, Red. I didn’t even get to see the little twitch in Reggie’s jaw at the thought of having held everyone up.”
“Sod off.” Regulus hissed as he smacked his brother upside the head.
“Lily! Regulus just hit me!” He cried, rubbing the back of his head.
“Squealer.” Regulus muttered darkly and took a seat as Remus pulled out a chair for you in the place beside him.
You didn’t realise how quiet the room had gotten until after Remus had pushed your chair back in underneath you and took a seat to your opposite side. You looked up to notice all eyes were on you.
“What the hell is going on?” Lily asked bluntly.
“What do you mean?” You asked, though your voice sounded relatively high.
Sirius let out a disbelieving laugh. “That one?” He said as he pointed an accusatory finger towards his brother. “That one had etiquette lessons drilled into him from the moment he could walk. This one?” He continued, moving his finger to Remus. “Is the least gentlemanly man I’ve ever met.”
Remus let out a simultaneously hysterical and offended laugh as he looked cautiously towards you and Regulus. “I am too a gentleman!”
“You’ve never once pulled out my chair, Moony.” James accused with narrowed eyes.
“And why in the hells would he pull out your chair, Potter?” Regulus sneered.
“A gentleman would.” Lily argued.
“He would not!” Remus countered.
“Only an un-gentleman would say such a thing, Moons.”
“You’ve lost the plot, Sirius.”
“Are you pregnant?” Lily whispered, causing the table to fall silent again as everyone returned their attention to you.
You looked awkwardly between Remus and Regulus again; this isn’t exactly how you’d planned to tell them. You were hoping to have at least made it through your meal before you opened up the discussion, knowing there would be plenty of questions. 
You don’t know why you even bothered to make plans with this lot; getting just about anything done was guaranteed to be nothing short of chaos. 
“Oh, my gods. You are.” She breathed out in disbelief, a grin spreading across her face.
“Shut up.” James said as he slammed his hands down on the table, looking between you, Regulus, and Remus imploringly. “Shut up; no you’re not. Are you? Are you really?”
You let out an emotional laugh and nodded, looking down to your lap where you were nervously wringing your hands before one of Remus’ joined the mix.
“Oh my gods!” James shrilled as Lily let out an excited squeal.
“How far along are you? What are your cravings? Have you had terrible morning sickness? How far along are you?” Lily asked in rapidfire.
“Okay, okay. Salazar, take it easy.” Regulus admonished placing a comforting hand on your shoulder. “We’re almost fourteen weeks now. The cravings change almost every week, but this week it’s been spicy foods.”
This earned you all an indignant scoff from James at having spicy cravings and not going to him for recipes.
“Which has been awful for the heart burn.” Remus noted lovingly causing you to flush impossibly further. 
“Morning sickness has been a bit of an issue.” Regulus continued.
“And is usually an issue well throughout the rest of the day and evening as well.” Remus added. 
“Fourteen weeks!?” Sirius finally screeched, looking at the three of you in faux admonishment. “You’ve known for fourteen weeks that I was going to be an uncle-”
“Again.” James corrected quietly.
“Again.” Sirius agreed without breaking his stare with his brother. “...that I was going to be an uncle again for fourteen weeks, and you didn’t bother to tell me!?”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Sirius.” Regulus scoffed dismissively. “We’ve only known for almost eight weeks.”
“Eight weeks!?” James and Sirius chorused.
“I needed to be shopping seven weeks ago.” Sirius squawked.
Remus titled his head at his friend. “Why only seven weeks?”
“I’d need at least a week recovering from the fact that you’ve defiled my brother.”
You and Remus scoffed at that. 
“Defiled him?” You begged incredulously at the same time as Remus muttered “I wouldn’t be surprised if this was his doing.”
James gasped dramatically at that. “Do you know who the other parent is?”
“James!” Lily and Remus chided at the same time.
“Now, Potter. Generally, when three people love each other very much, and they bring a child into the world, they’d all be parents.” Remus explained as if it had been Harry who asked the question.
“Sod off, that’s not what I meant. Is it going to be a Black? A little cub?” He carried on, sucking the air out of the room.
James always meant to say the nicest things, they just never came out quite right; and this time, he’d struck a bit of a nerve.
Fortunately, Sirius never allowed moments to stay awkward for long.
He groaned in disgust. “Never mind that; the child is damned either way. Do you know if it’s going to be a girl or a boy?”
You snorted at that as both Remus and Regulus harrumphed quietly and sat back in their chairs. 
“It’s a little early for that, Pads.” Lily explained.
“The boys are divided on what the sex of the baby is going to be so they’re not going to find out until the baby is born.” You explained, causing Sirius to grin mischievously. 
“They’re not going to find out, you say?”
“But you are?” James asked excitedly.
“Yeah, I’ll find out at the 16 week checkup.” 
“Don’t even think about it.” Remus warned Sirius and James who both squawked in protest.
“Absolutely not; if Remus and I aren’t finding out, neither are you two.” Regulus proclaimed. 
“Fine, but I want in on the bets; who’s betting on which sex?” James asked as he leaned his elbows onto the table - nearly right into his mashed potatoes.
“The sex of my baby is not a bet!” Regulus protested as Remus said “I think it’s a girl.”
Both Sirius and James hummed as they leaned back in their chairs and Lily scrutinised you. 
“I think it’s a girl, too.” She claimed.
“Yeah I’m with Moony.” Sirius said as he brought his glass of wine to his mouth.
“Moony!?” James hollered. “After it took us 700 years to convince him we’d be fine on full moons and we’d been right and he’d been wrong? Nope.” He said with a pop of the p. “I’m putting my money with Baby Black.”
“Never call me that again, Potter.” Regulus muttered.
“Who all knows?” Lily asked as the conversation relaxed and you all began eating.
“No one.” You admitted. “You guys were the first people we’ve told.”
Lily made a sweet cooing sound as James and Sirius (and then Harry) cheered.
“Wait wait wait!” Sirius interrupted. “Does Junior not know!?”
You and Regulus grimaced as Remus barked a laugh.
“That’s next on her list.” Regulus answered, evading any responsibility of his oldest friend onto you.
“My list?!”
“He’s your friend.” He argued.
“He was your friend, first.”
“Yeah but he’d literally push me in front of a stampede of Hippogriffs for you.”
“Oh, don’t flatter yourself, Regulus; he’d push anyone in front of a stampede of Hippogriffs for fun.” You countered darkly, picking up the glass of wine that had been sitting in front of you before you realised what you were doing and Remus quickly plucked it from your hands and replaced it with a glass of water.
“Perhaps, but he wouldn’t push you in front of a stampede of hippogriffs, would he?” Regulus challenged, raising a perfectly arched black eyebrow at you.
He was so handsome it pissed you right off.
“You’re actually going to leave your pregnant girlfriend to the hyenas?” 
“I’m not leaving my girlfriend to the hyenas.” Regulus scoffed and turned back to his plate. “I’m only leaving her to one.”
Like the absolute sodding bastard that Regulus was, he really did leave you alone to the hyena. He claimed he had a meeting with the Wizengamot he couldn’t miss, but you claimed bullshit.
And the longer you and Barty travelled between the shops on Oxford street, the more you were beginning to lose your nerve.
He was your best friend; why were you afraid of him?
“The fuck are you looking at you stupid fucking tosser? I’ll rearrange your organs; keep walking!” He spat at someone he decided looked at the pair of you either too strangely or for too long, you’d never know.
Right….that was why.
Suddenly, Barty gasped dramatically and grabbed your arm rather roughly. “You know what we should do?”
“What?”
“We should get matching tattoos!” He said with a beaming smile. 
You patted his cheek in a way that if even his own boyfriend had tried it, he’d have been bitten, but you were just rewarded with him leaning into it. “Barty, how many matching tattoos do we have?”
“Thirteen. Why?” He answered readily. 
You laughed again, and took both of his hands in yours. “Actually, Barty. There’s something I need to tell you.”
“I knew it.”
“What?”
“You’re sick and tired of Reg and Lupin and you’re ready to run away with me. I’ve got passports and bags packed at the ready; we’ll start a new life in New Zealand.” He explained nearly all in the same breath.
“No! What? No, Barty I-”
“Oh my gods, you killed one of them, didn’t you? It was an accident; no, they deserved it, I’m certain of it. You need help hiding the body?”
“Barty!”
“Both of them, Treasure? That’s okay, I think there’s enough room in the Crouch family plot to hide them.”
“Barty! I’m pregnant.” You finally admitted, watching as Barty cut himself off mid sentence to stare at you blankly. 
You were sure it was about 26 seconds of Barty staring intensely into your eyes with his hands gripped tightly in yours before those eyes flit down to your stomach.
It was another approximately 34 seconds where his eyes flit between both of yours and your stomach before he had his arms around your waist and was carrying you off to gods knows where.
“Barty Crouch Junior! You put me down right now!” You demanded.
He pfft’d at you and hiked you up further under his arm. “Fat chance; last time I left you alone for any amount of time, you got yourself knocked up.”
“Bartemus!”
With an overly dramatic sigh, Barty placed you down onto a bench on the street and crouched down in front of you.
“You’ve been pregnant all day and you let me drag you all around kingdom come?” He implored, shaking your shoulders gently. “You have two men at home; do they know you are out on your feet like this?”
“Well, yes, but-”
“Give me your cellular device.” He demanded, holding his hand out expectantly.
“Barty, seriously I-”
“The cellular device, witch!” He squawked with an impatient snap of his fingers.
You knew better at this point in your friendship than to argue with Barty when he got like this, and handed him your phone.
He looked at it for a few moments before hastily handing it back to you. “Make it ring Lupin, and Regulus too. I know you two convinced him to get one; he’s always text messaging Evan.”
You sighed and did as asked, organising a three-way call between you and the boys before Barty ripped it back out of your hands and held it to his ear.
“Yes, hello, am I speaking to one-half of the dumbest duo in all of the British Isles?” He spat into the phone.
“Yes, and hello Lupin, thanks for joining this call. There’s an emergency.”
You cringed at Barty’s very purposeful word choice when you heard the voices of both your boyfriends pick up in volume over the phone.
“Yes, well, you best hurry. We’re near the Disney Store on Oxford St.” Barty demanded before hanging up and looking at you excitedly. “We should go to the Disney Store!”
“What have you done?”
Barty didn’t have a chance to answer before you heard two snaps of apparition from an alleyway a few shops away from you and you saw your two boyfriends running over.
“Dove!” 
“What’s the matter!?” Regulus demanded, crouching next to your form immediately as Remus knelt directly in front of you.
“Well hello to you too, boys. Merlin you’re with rude blokes, Treasure.”
Regulus’ silver gaze darted menacingly to Barty. “You told us there was an emergency.”
“Are you okay, dove? What’s wrong?” Remus asked you quietly. You offered him a reassuring smile before Barty carried on in his theatrics. 
“There is an emergency, you knobhead. You’ve not only defiled this beautiful flower; you’ve allowed her to walk for kilometres with her condition!”
“Condition!?” You and Regulus squawked at the same time.
“Junior.” Remus admonished with a tired sigh. “She’s barely five months along and-”
“Five months!? You’ve been keeping this from me for five months!?” He beseeched as he turned his ire onto you.
“And,” Remus raised his voice. “It’s good for her to stay active; it keeps her and the baby strong and healthy.”
And didn’t that just shut Barty up.
“Hey. Yeah I’m alright thanks, how are you?” Regulus said into his phone, causing the three of you to all look over at him.
“Yeah, can you come pick your boyfriend up, please? Oxford Street near the Disney Store. Right. Okay, thanks. Bye.”
He pocketed his phone and looked at Barty with no lack of vexation.
“Now why would you call my boyfriend, Black?” Barty asked as he crossed his arms in front of his chest, causing you to scoff at the hypocrisy. 
“You feeling okay, dove?” Remus asked again, squeezing your elbow gently with and looking at you with eyes so full of love and concern you felt like you were going to implode.
“I’m okay; we’re okay.” You insisted, causing him to let out a relieved breath and press his forehead to your abdomen. 
“What have you done now, Junior?” Evan drawled as he casually walked towards the four of you with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth.
Barty stomped over to his boyfriend and plucked the smoke from his lips and vanished it disturbingly close to the muggles brushing past the two of them.
“We’re in one of those moods, are we?” Evan looked Barty up and down disapprovingly. 
“She’s pregnant.” Barty emphasised, throwing a dramatic arm out behind him to gesture at you causing a passing man to have to duck lest he be clotheslined. 
“Oh, bet? Congrats.” Evan said, nodding to the three of you.
“You’re supposed to be on my side!” Barty said with a stomp of his foot.
Evan simply rolled his eyes before he picked his boyfriend up and threw him over his shoulder. “Right, let's get you home.”
“Treasure! You need anything, anything, and you ring me, yeah? Get Regulus to give you Evan’s number. EVAN, TAKE ME TO A MOBILE STORE!” 
Their forms disappeared behind a building a few moments before you heard a snap of apparition and you all let out a sigh of relief.
“You’re really okay, dovie?” Remus asked again, a protective hand cupping the nape of your neck and his other hand resting against your waist.
“Just fine, bubs.” You assured him, pressing a kiss to his nose. You were rewarded with Remus relaxing his shoulders and Regulus letting out another sigh of relief.
“Well, I think that went rather well.” You offered cheerfully.
That earned you an unimpressed glare from both boys.
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inkdrinkerworld · 8 months
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okay but what about harry unexpectedly takes his friends into the house and they find reader and James kissing in the kitchen but like reeeeeeally snogging, and when jamie realizes they're there he turns around and to make everything more embarrassing he has that t-shirt that says "i <3 milfs."
harry groans when he comes into the house and sees you and james kissing.
it's never really great to see, but this time he groans because his friends are here.
"you two have a bedroom," he says loudly and with a tone of disgust making you pull away from james who had just been sucking on your tongue.
"sorry haz," you wave at his friends who're all smiling. they're not little anymore, so it's not really a big deal, but they're teenagers so every thing is gross only if it's not your parents.
"mhm," he hums, ready to usher his friends to his room when james' shirt catches all their attention. "dad!" harry groans at the same time his friends erupt into laughter.
"what?" james asks, cheeks red as he stares at his son.
"your shirt! where did you even get that?" harry's neck is red and you giggle at your son and husband's likeness.
"oh your uncles," james shrugs, "s'true enough."
harry ushers his friends quickly up the stairs before you and james can say anything else.
"well, that went well." you say to james who's back to crowding your space. he tucks his face into your neck, nose brushing along the column of your neck with a deep groan.
"s'this perfume! god, you smell good enough to eat." he bites at your neck making you squeal.
"well, you're going to have to wait till at least 10, when they leave." james groans and bite your neck a little harder before sucking at the skin. "stop it," you giggle, pushing james away and opening the fridge, "help me cut up some stuff for dinner, you little sex freak."
james slaps your ass hard and you know there's going to be a mark later.
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onsomenewsht · 2 months
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now playing: Don't Tell My Mom
< track 3 || track 5 >
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》 Alexia Putellas x Reader (past), María León x Reader (platonic), Leah Williamson x Reader (platonic)
》 words count: +1.5k
》 what you don't know won't hurt you, oh / Mama, I'll lie, just for you
As soon as your phone lights up with a Facetime call, you know. 
No warning message, no text just to make sure you’re free to talk. A cold Facetime request from María, one of your best friends but definitely someone who means trouble if calling like that.
Launching yourself on your sofa unceremoniously, you accept the call and your fate as Mapi’s grin appears on your broken screen. How can she be so smug even miles away goes beyond you.
“Who died?”
Not the most warm way to start a conversation.
“Hola a ti también, nena” (Hello to you too)
“You look awful”
She looks amazing, she’s practically glowing and you’re happy for her.
Also, you’re happy for yourself too. It’s a relief this is not the scolding call you’ve been waiting for quite some time. It’s coming, you can feel it, but Ingrid enters the frame and you immediately know this is good news.
“Tienes que ser buena conmigo” (You should be nicer to me)
Mapi really isn’t the type to tiptoe around something so you don’t get why she didn’t start this conversation by screaming the news. Or making the journey and knocking on your door directly.
You let her be, she probably wants to enjoy it.
“Why should I? I moved to another country just to avoid it”
“Nena”, she pauses and her smile dims for a moment.
She knows English better than she lets everyone believe, so she gets the quip - or your attempt to joke about it. You’re not sure if it’s because of what you said or something else entirely, the two of you have yet to talk about the reason why you’re single and in another country.
Your transfer was eventful, to say at least. The faded blonde didn’t handle it very well, having taken you under her wing when you first moved from a mid-table club in your home country to Barcelona Femení - after a couple of years on a loan in different leagues too.
María’s the one who welcomed you in the locker room with rapid words and contagious enthusiasm. She kept talking with you in Spanish, even if you needed an entire year to be able to hold a simple conversation in your third language, but she’s someone you relied on since the very beginning. 
María’s also the first one to realise something was growing between you and Alexia, the first - and the loudest - to cheer when you mindlessly kissed in front of the team mid night out, the first one to give you both a shovel talk.
Sometimes it’s way too easy to forget how many people you can hurt with a decision that’s just your own to make.
You feel the need to take the conversation back on track.
“When is the wedding?”
“¿Quién te lo dijo?!” (Who told you?!)
“Your stupid face”, thankfully the Spaniard gets her brightness back at your words, “And I can see that huge rock even from here!”
Ingrid is matching a beaming smile, moving her hand closer to the camera and you can’t hold back your own joy. They truly deserve the devotion and support they share with one another. If you have to be happy for someone else’s love, you’re glad it’s for them.
And that ring is impressive. 
The memory of a beautiful ring hidden in a shoe box in the back of a closet makes you shiver. Is it still there or she got rid of it as first thing after dropping you off at the airport? Does Mapi know about it?
“Show off, that’s worth my value”
“Tonterías!, no eres tan buena” (Bullshit, you’re not even that good!)
“You are, she’s just too proud to admit it”, at Ingrid’s first words you immediately remember why lately she’s the one you like the most of the two.
“Haz la maleta y no quiero excusas, volverás aquí” (Pack you beg and no excuses, you’re coming back here)
Mapi’s witty remark is not missed, she saw you growing up and developing your very own unhealthy coping mechanism. Maybe you have a tendency to avoid confrontation, what about that? She goes for any adrenalin rush activity available when in denial so she’s not in the position to judge. 
You shift uncomfortably under their gazes, sitting upright but hitting the back of the sofa with your head.
You may be in a different country and there may be a screen between you and the pair, but María is still like a big sister to you and the other girl is basically the only reason you’re still sane and survived throughout your friendship with the Spaniard.
However, you can’t let them know how broken you are, not when you regret nothing that led to this.
“Why not Norway?”, worth a shot.
“We’re basically going to celebrate in any corner of the world, I don’t think you can miss this”
“Then I can be anywhere else, Ingrid”
“Mapi’s family is gonna be here”, and you’re her family too it’s what she’s too considerate to say aloud but you all hear anyway.
“I don’t think is a good idea, no one want me there”
“That’s not true”
“Nena, por favor!”
The silence is deafening, when you find the gut to look at your friends it’s easy to remember the love, the support, and respect that bond your relationships.
A transfer to another country, all the attempts to hide from the consequences of your own choices, the hearts broken. None of those things are really able to cut those kinds of connections.
“I’m happy for you two”, you say with the biggest and most sincere smile in a while.
Mapi accepts your decision to keep the conversation light, focusing on this happy and long awaited news. 
She’s glowing and you really are happy for her, for them. The desire to celebrate their love, to be there when they will share such pure joy with all the people they care about, sweeps away your fears of being confronted by the human form of the consequences of your own choices.
When the call ends, the usual weight you feel between your ribs doesn’t make your breathing heavier and the familiar bitter taste of guilt doesn’t pervade your mouth. 
You book a ticket to Barcelona before it all comes back to you.
~
“Mapi and Ingrid are getting married”
“It’s a plague!”
Leah is unlacing her boots, the two of you the last ones in the changing room after an additional training session the blonde insisted you needed. 
You’re playing in a slightly different position here, but you feel like those extra hours are more for her sake than your own, scared that you will find a way to avoid your new teammates if not involved in any possible activity.
You indulge her, you’re used to demanding and perfectionist captains after all.
“I have to go back to Barcelona”
“I bet, she’s gonna drag you there personally otherwise”
“María is not that―”
“I’m talking about Engen”, she smirks and she is right, Ingrid is way more effective in her convincing methods.
Still sitting on the bench in your training gear, you let her understand you’re not ready to leave yet. Not the room nor the conversation.
“What’s the problem, trotter?”
She managed to give you the worst nickname possible, making fun both of your way to run on the pitch and the fact you spent the past ten years in five different countries - it’s probably also a quip about the circumstances that bring you here but you give her the benefit of the doubt.
“No problem at all, I’m happy for them”
“They’re really cute”
“They are”, you miss them.
You miss the familiar embrace and the easy banter you share with María, you miss the warm support and the nights out with Ingrid, you miss the silence and the comforting methods Keira always found to take your homesickness away, you miss the funny and the cheerful attitude you wrap yourself around with Jana, Claudia and Ona. You miss them all.
You miss Alexia.
You miss how she always finds time to walk her dog out, doesn’t matter the weather or her busy schedule. You miss the subtle way she turns the radio’ volume up when a song she knows you like is on, and the not-so-subtle way she pretends to hate them all just to sing with you on the first chorus. You miss her body fitting perfectly all over your life, when moving in your house like it’s built around her, or when she’s ideally positioned on the pitch to receive your pass, or even when her hands find yours despite everything and everywhere you are.
You miss Alexia but you don’t deserve to grieve something you killed yourself.
“Do you need a pep talk from Kim?”
“Don’t you dare!”
Last time Leah called on your team captain to put up with your somber mood, you ended on the bench for two games yet sent her a nice bouquet as an apology - and as a thanks for the help.
“Look, you can’t hide from her forever”
“I can definitely try”
The smile she directs to you is both amused and bushed.
“I just don’t think our closest friend’s wedding is the best occasion to meet her for the first time after… well, after everything”, you admit while repeatedly hitting the changing room’s wall with the back of your head.
“Maybe not, maybe we will have to face them in the next Champion League’s draw”
She jinxed it.
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crimsonbubble · 9 months
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dumb idea but it kinda came from the fic where miguel will use spanish whenever he wants to say something outrageous and most people don't know what he's saying. What if y/n knows Spanish but never gave much of a reaction, until one day replies to something casual in spanish and is like "what? i do speak spanish." would miguel die? lmao
cw. suggestive/borderline nsfw, gn!reader, poorly translated spanish *not proofread, just pure brainrot
[continuation of this]
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he'd die inside
like he just wants to just disintegrate right then and there
he's been poking and proding you with phrases in spanish that you weren't supposed to know
but once you've finally had enough of the thigh clenching teasing, it was time to put your foot down
so the next time he said smth, you replied with a "vas a seguir diciendo cosas o realmente vas a hacer algo?" [are you just going to keep saying things or are you going to actually do something?]
he's staring at you and opening and closing his mouth like a fish out of water
he takes a step back, processing the fact that you could tell exactly what he was saying and just gets so fucking flustered and embarrassed
so take the opportunity to tease him in spanish too
"vamos, haz que mis ojos rueden." [come on, make my eyes roll.]
"mancha mi lápiz labial mientras estás en eso también." [smudge my lipstick while you're at it, too.]
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otter-byte · 24 days
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Something to watch out for as basically every established platform goes through Turbulence™️ for the foreseeable future: If anyone says "Wow, Platform A sure does suck for these reasons, Platform B is better!" without telling you exactly how B solved any of the problems with A, it's only better because maybe 5,000 people use it at most, and will inevitably become just as shitty almost instantly once it gains mainstream popularity.
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anadiasmount · 1 month
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something about dad!jude porfavorrrrr I need this in my life 😍😍😍 I feel like Jude would be such a good dad especially with a little girl. Aaaaaaa porfa haz esto
amorcito te quiero tanto, por eso te escribo este blurb para ti!! 😘 haven’t been okay since that pic with a little baby 😔💔
“look who it is ellie! it’s dada!” you say in a baby voice, jude walking in and immediately rushing to both of you. your daughter excitedly gasped and kicked her feet, anxious to be in her daddies hold. jude kisses her chubby cheeks and forehead, whispering just how much he missed her and you.
jude placed her on his side, his hand brushing your cheek and capturing your lips in an awaited kiss. just a couple days apart but it drive him crazy. he hated being away especially when the two of you were left alone. “how are you? was she okay?” he asked, walking into the kitchen hearing ellie blabbering.
“more than okay, she slept through all the nights, maybe woke up once or twice but overall she did so good,” you sighed, making a cup of tea for the two of you since it was late. you wore one of jude’s oversized tees and a pair of cookie monster oh shorts. jude finding it hard to be away, especially with his daughter along him.
he missed the two of you terribly. his thoughts constantly consumed at how you were doing? what you were up to? if you were okay? he was super protective and only wanted the best for his girls. “i missed you so much little one, tore my heart when i saw you crying when i left,” jude pouted before blowing raspberries in her neck and tummy, loud giggle taking over the room.
when jude had away games, he had to leave with his daughter clung into him, tears in her big brown eyes, repeatedly calling out for him as a sign to not go. it was always such a hard thing and he felt guilty leaving you with her in that state.
“did so good for mommy! that means i’ll buy you ice cream, new bows for your hair and a new toy,” he promises seeing her make an o shape with her mouth and looking at you in shock. the two of you copying her which made her squeal. “she is so big now,” jude said sadly, looking into his daughters eyes, ellie offering a toothy smile. “can you stay this tiny?”
you wrapped your hand around his bicep, kissing it before slowly rubbing away the food on ellie’s mouth, pushing her wet and already coated with products curls up. the night shower going to help her fall asleep, all through the night once again. ellie yawned, leaning her head on her daddies shoulder, tiny hand also coming up to lay beneath her her cheek.
jude rubbed his hand against her back, cooing her to sleep. he grabbed her milk and pouring into her disney princess themed bottle, also grabbing her binkie just incase. “you got it or want me to do it?” you ask him, also yawning due to how late it was. “i can do it, just wait for me in our room, i’ll be there soon,” he pecked your lips sealing the promise.
he walked into ellie’s room, turning on the air humidifier, and lamp in the corner of her room. changing her into a new diaper as she fought her sleep. jude sat on the rocking chair, ellie laying in his arms as he gave her the bottle and read a book quietly to her. it seemed like she wanted to stay up, but it was past her bedtime and she needed to sleep.
jude stood up after reading three books, rocking her gently and softly side to side, her binkie now in her mouth as she slowly fluttered her eyes to sleep. “you’re so beautiful ellie, i love you so much my sweet girl…” he sang and hummed the lullabies you sing to her when she was with you. kissing her cheeks and curls, once she finally fell asleep in his arms, grabbing the back of her head gently and placing her in the crib.
“shh, shh, shh, shh,” jude said softly, fixing her small pillow and covering her with a blanket, tucking her teddy bear next to her and the binkie as well. jude fixed the baby camera grabbing the charged screen and shutting the lights off. he put back the books and took the empty bottle with him as well. he closed the door to her room as quiet as possible, going downstairs to wash the bottle and coming back up immediately.
“i brought her a new one, just incase she does wake up at night,” jude said to you, placing the small bottle into the tiny fridge you had. “thank you handsome,” you spoke tiredly, wanting nothing more than to finally sleep. jude checked on ellie one more time through the baby monitor, seeing her sound asleep with her arms up.
“was she fussy?”
“nope not at all. she fought her sleep but that was all,” he said laying next to you, bringing yo to his side and kissing you deeply. “i want another baby,” jude pouted. you giggled, “i know you do… but i want to enjoy our time with ellie first, see her grow up and enjoy our time a bit before bringing another baby into our lives.”
“you’re such a good dad to her jude, she’s so lucky to have you, i’m so lucky to have you! but seeing you with our ellie it’s just so pure and a different love. you’re a natural, so loving, gentle, and you spoil her like crazy…” you whisper, making jude nervous and shy.
“a natural? really?”
“mhmm. it’s like you were made or were already ready for this dad life,” you nod kissing his jaw. “i love you y/n. i hope you know that making you my wife has been the most amazing decision ever. and make you a mommy as well,” jude teased, feeling the gently slap in his chest. “seriously, thank you for bringing and carrying my ellie to us…”
the next morning jude was up first, leaving a kiss on your head before grabbing the monitor and seeing ellie awake. jude smiled wide, making grabby hands at her when she grabbed onto the railings almost jumping in excitement. “good morning my sweet angel! how’d you sleep?” he kissed all over her face, pushing her coils back as she squealed loudly.
jude put the baby monitor to charge, walking downstairs to the kitchen and pouring her juice in a bottle. “let’s make you and mommy some breakfast okay?” jude said, still carrying her since she refused to be put down. he made coffee and cut up some fruit for ellie, siting her in her high chair.
he poured the coffee in the mugs, fixing the plate with eggs, fruit, utensils, syrup and small waffles in the breakfast stand. carding both his daughter and the food all the way upstairs. “go go go! go wake mommy up,” jude ushered, laughing at ellie crawling rapidly to you.
someone tugging on your hair woke you up, seeing your daughter clapping as she giggled. “hi good morning my silly ellie girl,” you kissed her head sitting up and rubbing your eyes. jude came to your side, rubbing your back with his hand and offering you coffee, “me and ellie made breakfast for you.”
“did you really? you helped daddy?” you praise her, ellie siting on your lap as you took a sip of coffee. jude say next to you, kissing you and whispering a good morning before feeding ellie some breakfast and her silly cup with juice.
“would exchange anything to spend my morning like this with my beautiful girls…”
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lackadaisicallizard · 7 months
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Sundays
Growing up, Regulus hated Sundays. 
Sundays were mornings spent in church, pretending to the world that they were a perfect family. Sundays were stuffy clothes and tight ties wrapped around throats spouting nothing but lies about the Ancient and Most Noble House of Black. 
Sundays were carefully coordinated games disguised as family lunches, the entire extended family coming together to outdo each other in just how well they were doing. Sundays were masterclasses in manipulation, lies and deceit. 
But now, fifteen years later on the most ordinary of all days, Regulus can hear voices coming from the kitchen. 
“I think that’s enough eggs, Haz, why don’t you add more flour now?” 
“How much do I need to add?” 
“I have no idea, just pour until it looks right.” 
Sliding on his slippers, Regulus makes his way out of the bedroom and down the hall, stopping in the doorway of the kitchen. He leans against the doorframe for a moment, watching the scene in front of him. 
“How’s it going there?” His husband peers into the mixing bowl that seems to have more eggs in it than any hen could feasibly lay in a year. 
“The flour won’t come out of the bag,” Harry says with a frown. 
“Try banging on the end of it,” James suggests and before Regulus can even consider stepping in to stop him, their son does just that. He is far too much like his father for his own good sometimes. 
Flour ends up everywhere. 
“Papa’s going to kill me,” Harry groans through a layer of white dust. 
“Papa doesn’t have to know,” James says, “you finish the batter and I’ll clean it up.” 
Harry stirs it, a puff of flour rising into the air. “I think it may be beyond saving now, Dad.” 
“J’en ai marre,” their heads whip around at the sound of Regulus’ voice, both faces a similar mask of concern. “You two are useless.” 
He steps into the kitchen now, holding out his hand for the bowl, which Harry passes him with a guilty expression. “I love you?” 
Regulus’ own expression softens completely at that and he places the bowl on the counter before holding out his arms for his son. Harry moves into them without hesitation, being pulled into a warm embrace and leaning into his father. “Tu es la lumière de ma vie,” Regulus says, pressing a kiss to the top of Harry’s soft curls before pulling back and looking at him in the eyes. “That doesn’t mean you can get flour all over my kitchen though, compris?” 
“Oui papa, désolé. We were just trying to make you breakfast in bed.” 
“It’s true,” James cuts in, a smile pulling up the corner of his lips, “we know you’ve had a long week so we thought we’d make some pancakes.” 
Regulus smiles back, he can’t help himself. “I’m not sure which one of you thought you could pull that off considering the great scrambled egg fiasco last month.” 
“Those eggs were delicious and you know it!” 
“I had to go to the store for more and make them myself.” 
“… my comment still stands,” James says with a grin and Regulus rolls his eyes at his husband. 
“Harry, go and fetch the chocolate chips from the cupboard and I’ll attempt to salvage this.” 
Harry disappears into the pantry and as Regulus starts to decanter as much flour as he can from the very floury bowl, he feels arms wrap around him from behind. 
“I’m sorry about the flour,” James’ voice is low in his ear. 
Regulus hums. “I would say I’m surprised, but I’m not.” 
A soft chuckle followed by lips against his hair. “I’m also sorry for ruining your Sunday, love. I know it’s the first day you’ve had off in a while.” 
But the thing is, he hasn’t. 
Because Regulus knows what a bad Sunday feels like. They’re ingrained into his brain. 
But this right here? Making far too much batter to even out the mountain of flour that he can’t salvage from the bowl. Allowing his son to add almost an entire bag of chocolate chips to the mixture. Watching his husband smother a tower of pancakes with syrup and whipped cream. Cleaning up an incredibly messy kitchen together as a family after they’ve done. 
Well, this is what Sundays are now. They’re not perfect, or proper, or in the least bit civilised. 
And he loves every one. 
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