#hazmat hole

[is-the-owl-video-cute]

Hazmat Hole 1: Overture

I went back and forth on whether to do the pilot or not, but ultimately decided not to. Pilots are meant to be an episode 0 that isn’t necessary to understanding the plot. I may go back to it after episode 8 if I’m not completely sick of this.

It starts off with a story book narration about how hell started because Lucifer was a rebel or something and just states very vaguely that he had big ideas heaven didn’t like. Also Adam was the first man, Lilith was the first woman but she didn’t like Adam and liked Lucifer better they fell in love or whatever and Lucifer gave Eve the apple and he and Lilith were banished to hell. I wish I could lie and say I was skipping over details but they used more words to explain that in about as much depth as I did there. Anyway. The important part is that Charlie is a princess of hell as the daughter of Lucifer and Lilith and the angels go down to hell annually to purge excess souls.

These two start off annoying and by god I do not see them getting any less so. Charlie is legitimately the most generic Disney Princess rip off I have ever seen in my life, complete with reading books aloud bursting into song. It’s genuinely jarring to hear her swear because you can tell the voice director basically just told her actor to pretend she’s auditioning for the little mermaid. Vaggie is annoying because she’s written like a middle schooler’s first “strong female character”. She’s the emo love interest in a B movie that was straight to video and made by people who don’t actually know what emo is.

Appropriation Deer is literally just here to make wise cracks and occasionally move in ways that make animators cry and deviantart users in 2010 scream in joy.

They could probably cut the budget in half by not having him in the show. Anyway no he is not here to do anything besides whine about how television sucks and emphasize that he’s only there at all because he’s into watching people fail and cry or whatever. He’s very flat as a character since he’s just there to be tumblr bait.

Angel is here and spends the entire episode being sexually aggressive to the point of making everyone there uncomfortable and that’s the entire joke. That’s it. He’s a gay man who says penis and wise cracks and sexually harasses the men in the hotel. Because that is how vivziepop writes her mlm characters.

We get a two for one easy joke with these two. Haha gay man is harassing a man who isn’t gay as well as haha asexual gets hit on but he says no way.

Angel is here because “crack is expensive” and they don’t charge him rent there.

Which he says while drinking a whole bottle of liquor to establish he’s an addict because vivziepop is as subtle as a bull in a China shop.

And thus we are taken to our first musical number. It’s very underwhelming.

Also Vaggie sings like she’s getting over a cold and plugging her nose and trying to do an impression of a duck.

The opening number also leaves me with a perplexing question. Can you die in hell? Do you go to super hell if you die in hell?

And we get our first real sexual harassment/assault joke from a giant slug flasher trying to make Charlie touch him in the middle of a musical number. I’m sure this bodes great for how angel’s abuse will be treated.

I hate that I know this but as someone who did shamefully hate watch sausage party twice I have to point out that Adam here is literally just a rip off of a sausage party character.

Everything down to the voice direction is literally just a rip off of the main antagonist of Sausage Party, the douche. This is probably somewhat intentional as vivziepop was a massive fan of that movie when it came out, but if you’re going to make an homage that borders on plagiarism (this is a joke I’m not accusing her of plagiarism here but it’s giving original character, donut steel), does it have to be from sausage party? Does it really? There’s other movies. Anyway he doesn’t say much, just establishes himself as a douche.

Back at the hotel they start filming a new commercial since Alastor intentionally made their first commercial bad because he wanted to make fun of them and hates TVs just that much. Nothing very interesting happens. Angel is hot horny. Husk doesn’t want to be there. Alastor makes a deal with Vaggie to help as long as she never makes him go on TV again.

We go back to Charlie begging Adam to stop coming to hell and killing demons by the hundreds every year and Adam says no in frankly one of the only songs that I like from this series. Sadly, it’s still terribly annoying and repetitive.

Viv posted meme please clap.

Isn’t this the homophobic character from the pilot? Didn’t realize she was given a male voice to imply she’s either a drag Queen or trans I guess. Great. I’m sure it’s a very artistic and respectful choice and not every other more likely reason this was the casting decision.

The episode ends with the discovery that an Angel was killed during the last extermination so they plan to come back in just six months to kill every demon in hell. I might care if any character established themselves as anything other than a vessel to spout boring exposition and sex jokes for twenty minutes.

And that’s episode one. It’s honestly just boring and all of the explicit language sounds extremely forced and awkward.

0/10, the one okay song wasn’t enough to save it. Too much exposition dumping.

#hazbin hotel #hazmat motel #hazmat hole #owlvid live-blogging

[cowboyadjacent]

here are some statements.

stoats find homes that rabbits have built > stoats kill them, creatures who are much larger than them > stoats take over their home.

also, there are humans in the forest > humans who are creatures much larger than stoats > there is a “home” that humans have built in this forest AND viola saw a vision of many stoats running around in this structure that the humans have built. hm.

#huh. HUH. #no? maybe! #dimension 20 #burrow’s end #d20 spoilers #also the humans are in hazmat suits #something in the forest hurts them when it does not necessarily HURT everyone else? #hmmmmm #anyway until the season ends i’m living with my fantasy #of the stoats upgrading from a hole in the ground to a strange structure in the forest

[prompt-master]

What the hell is your job prom😭😭??

My job is to meet the horrors and take them on a nice little tour of earth

#prom is talking #''whats your job prom'' what youve never seen your coworker covered in blood before????? #my job is so funny too like. i was cutting thumb holes into my 'hazmat suit' and thn i realized we use BETTY CROCKER BRAND SCISSORS???

[deadsetobsessions]

I just really like the trope of Danny getting summoned, alright?

——

After he shoved Pariah Dark in his coffin shaped locker what what Danny hoped to be for all of eternity, the half unfortunately inherited all of Pariah’s responsibilities.

“What was it again? With great powers comes great responsibilities?” Danny let his head hit the table with an audible thunk. He’s in his “office,” the ghost zone’s approximation of where he might be able to do work seriously. The house- the extension of his haunt- had added the room right next to his bedroom. Danny had to lift all of the paperwork from Pariah’s castle (that’s now also a part of what’s considered Danny’s but he doesn’t think about that) and move it to his main haunt.

He prayed to the universe at large to let him off. Danny hated doing homework- science not withstanding because at least he understood that- let alone an asshole’s centuries worth of work. Danny bemoaned the fact that he was elected the King. He didn’t even defeat Pariah all by himself, so why couldn’t the others do it?!

Like a wave of merciful fate, the beginning tugs of a summoning pulled at his core.

“Thank Ancients!”

Danny scrambled to grab a sticky note, unfortunately glowing green as things tended to in the Ghost Zone, and scribbled down that he’s been summoned and to not look for him until his vacation work was done.

With that note done, Danny decided to bring his A game to the summoning. Allowing his secondary form to wash over him, Danny quickly checked the mirror to make sure he was presentable. A bright glowing ice crown- not the crown of fire, because it was essentially useless without the ring and Danny wasn’t keen on being a king, let alone a near infinitely powerful one- settled across his brow showed his status. A cape, this form’s best feature, made of an expanse of galaxies, nebulae, and frost cling at the end was swept over his shoulders and pinned together with a cloak pin made of clusters of black holes.

A couple of additions to his normal hazmat suit and his trusty thermos at his side, Danny all but dove into the summoning magic with an excited whoop of glee.

As Danny got closer to the magic-made portal, he could hear the whispers of the living presences beyond it.

His summoners! Hopefully it’s not a cult again, even if he thought they were pretty funny trying to summon the king of the dead to kill more people. Not funny “haha,” funny weird.

How should he do this…? Scary? Funny? Oh! Or maybe he should ditch the crown!

Danny grinned, waving his hand to dispel the crown of ice. It was nice, but he was in a dungeon critter mood today.

“Oh, this is going to be gooood.”

Danny cracked his knuckles and put on the most dead-inside-and-outside expression he could manage, modeling it off of the Nasty Burger workers during closing shift. The halfa stepped through the portal.

——

“The ritual is completed! You will all face the might of Pariah Dark, the eternal king of the dead!” The villain of the week cackled as his cult cheered. Wonder Woman, scuffed and injured from the magical bolts these magic users had shot at her earlier, grimaced and raised her sword.

“We will defeat Pariah Dark,” she proclaimed. Her allies rallied at her proclamation and readied themselves for another fight. “This world will not bow to the likes of you!”

“We are all but mere ants before the king of the dead! Pariah Dark will bring forth the reckoning this shitty world deserves!”

“Actually, Pariah Dark’s kind of busy, so you’re gonna have to leave a message.”

Green Arrow’s arrow jerked towards the new voice. Batman paused, hand holding batarangs at the ready. He, out of all of them, knew better than to underestimate a young voice.

A gloved hand shoved through the green portal, using the edges like a door frame to heave itself through. A humanoid shape, with sharp ears all but crawled out of the Lazarus green portal. Batman wondered if this was what Jason saw when he came back to life.

"Lord Pariah Dark is busy?!"

The figure- a boyish not-human- heaved a sigh. "Do you people seriously think that the High King of the Infinite Realms isn't swamped with work?"

"And who are you supposed to be? His secretary?" Hal asked, Ring glowing and at the ready. Wonder Woman tensed and mentally struck Hal away from the list of people to consider for diplomatic missions.

"Me? I'm a glorified paper pusher." The being turned back to the cultists, his cape containing the universe swished behind him. "Did you have a message for Pariah Dark?"

"He was meant to rain down death and destruction!"

"Okay, first of all, I feel like you guys are missing a really important point." The being pointed at the cult leader. “It’s not called the King of the Dead for no reason, you know. Death comes for everyone eventually. Also, I have to do a seriously giant amount of paperwork every time one of you fruitloops gets the bright idea to cause an influx of deaths.”

Danny stomped across the circle, grabbed the collar of the cultist leader’s cloak and yanked him down. He shook him. “Do you people have any idea how annoying it is?! Huh?! Do you know how long the A-354 Form is?! Stop trying to get Pariah to kill people! I’m sick of the paperwork, dammit!”

"How- how did you get out of the circle?!"

The cultists and the heroes squared up, ready to fight the possible common enemy: Danny.

Danny is having the best time of his half life. Screw kingly dignity, Danny’s gotta de-stress somehow! He had a whole bag of complaints!

"You wrote the circle wrong, idiots! Ancients, are you people even literate? What even are those scribbles?" Danny kept shaking the cultist. Wow, what an amazing stress ball!

“Uh- hey, he looks kind of sick…” The Flash said, trying to be a good hero and mediate before escalating. Danny snarled and Flash held up his hands, gulping in fear as Danny’s eyes narrowed at him. “Did I… do something?”

“You,” Danny hissed. “You mother- fruitloop! Stop screwing with the timeline, you giant red-! Do you know how annoying it is to readjust the death count every time one of you little merry red jesters takes a jaunt through time and space?! Do you even know how many complaints I had to field?! Oh, boy you’re all going to regret summoning me today, because I’ve had a long time to think about what I’d do to everyone who made me work overtime!”

Danny bared his teeth, eyes sparkling with mirth as he froze the cultists.

"We're not letting you take over the world," Hawk-Woman said, raising her mace that pulsed with electricity.

Danny snorted to hide his wince. "I'm not interested. Just let me punch him once. Just once." Danny pointed at the Flash.

"Honestly, I can't even blame you," Black Canary muttered, fists raised.

"Wha-! Canary! That's so rude! You traitor!"

"Shouldn't have put skittles in my shoes then. Those hurt, Flash."

"Enough." Everyone shut up at the sound of Batman's command. "What do you mean they wrote the circle wrong."

Danny, who was watching the byplay with interest, shrugged. "They wanted to summon the Ghost King, right? We've had a... change of leaders recently."

"Who is the leader now?"

Danny waggled a finger at Batman. "Nuh-uh. I'm gonna collect my over-time compensation, which is punching the Flash, and then we can negotiate for information."

"Flash."

"I don't want to get punched, Bats!"

"The alternative is that I let the current Ghost King have a go at you."

"Flash."

"Oh my god, just get punched, Barry!" Danny heard Green Lantern Hal Jordan whisper.

"Ugh, fine. No one video this."

Immediately, three phones go up to record the Flash getting decked by a teenage looking ghost. Danny floated closer and wound his fist back, letting loose some of the ghost strength he normally keeps restrained. "This is for my overtime and for Clockwork, you jerk."

The halfa slammed his fist straight into the Flash's face, knocking him clear into the air. Superman catches him but Danny no longer paid attention to the Flash, petty vengeance enacted.

"Honestly, I don't have a problem with you as a person. You're kind of cool. Break the timeline again in the next three months, though, and you're on my shit-list."

"What do you want in exchange for information?"

Danny hummed. "Depending on the level of information, and I reserve the right to not answer any questions. For the name of the current Ghost King..."

He did want that new gaming console. And Jazz could use some help with her rent.

"I want $5,000 and a plate of really good spaghetti."

"I have cash."

Danny nodded at the Dark Knight. "You just carry $5,000 in cash on you? Who does that?"

"I like to be prepared."

"And he's rich," Superman chimed in.

The Flash reappeared with a plate of spaghetti from an Italian place he teleported to. "Here you go. Fresh, and pleasedon'tscrewwithmyafterlife."

Danny shoveled the spaghetti into his mouth, jaw unhinging like a particularly disturbing snake right before he dumped the whole thing- plate and all- down his throat. "Thanks! The food didn't even try to kill me this time! You're good."

"Does your food try to kill you all of the time?!" The Flash- Barry, apparently- asked.

Danny nodded as he took the cash from Batman's gloved hands. "Totally. It sucks."

"Identity." Batman demanded.

"Oh, yeah. The current ghost king is me."

"...What."

"You have been swindled. Bamboozled. Outwitted and outsmarted," Danny snickered, shoving the bundle of cash in his chest. "But seriously, I'm the king. We got rid of Pariah a while ago."

The crown of ice materialized.

"You said you were a glorified paper pusher!" Hawk-Woman chortled.

"I am! I'm pushing so many papers across my desk, it's unending, I swear!"

Batman growled. "You tricked us."

Danny smirked, "You got tricked." Red Robin, in the corner, snorted quietly. "Anyways, if you've got more interesting things around here, I'll considering busying myself with that instead of sentencing you to an afterlife of paperwork."

The adults straightened, grimacing. "Beast Boy is green," Hal offered up.

"Hey!" Beast Boy shouted, offended at the easy way Hal offered him up. He turned to Danny. "But have you ever seen a green chinchilla? Super cute. Watch!"

"Woah!" Danny clapped. Yes, he'll hang out with them before dragging himself back.

#danny phantom #batman #tim drake #dc x dp #the justice league #justice league and the ghost king #ghost king danny #superman #hawkwoman #shayera thal #beast boy's most effective attack is being adorable #red robin #red robin enjoying the weird ghost boy clowning his sad emo dad #hal being annoying but so relatable #green arrow

[paymechildsupport]

I've never done a request before so please bear with me🥲

I was wondering if you could do another Francis Mosses x reader.

I really enjoyed your Spouse!Reader x doppelgänger!Francis and wanted to see your take on D.D.D. trainee!Reader x doppelganger! Francis, where we get sent out to 'take care' of Francis.

Really excited to see what you do with this prompt🙏🏾

>nahhh this is a devious prompt, -- I gotchu 🙏😈🙏😈

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

“Does this please you, Officer?”  // Doppel!Francis x DDD Officer Reader

--Doppelgänger!Francis x DDD Reader tasked with his neutralization 🙏

-!! AFAB Reader, -- though genetalia isn't outright explicity stated -(?) -- there is room for your imagination though 😋

-!! CW: nsfw- (smut), ; Dubcon /// Hand-job; sex against a wall; degradation; implied overstimulation

A/N: the number of Francis requests are CRAZY, -- and I completely understand why, -- man's actually majestic <3.

————-

-------------------------------

...

This was not how you planned to spend your Tuesday night,— grumpy and exhausted, woken up mid-sleep by an emergency dispatch.

“Mm… hello.?” Your groggy voice speaks into the ringing phone, eyes still sticky from sleep. 

“Emergency Dispatch: Doppelgänger identified at Complex II,— repeat, doppelgänger identified at complex II,— dispatch agent, neutralize the threat”. They clicked off, leaving you alone in the dark. 

Fuuuuuuck…. 

You fit yourself to your uniform quickly, practically ripping the hazmat suit in an attempt to get inside. Stupid cheap uniform. 

Hurriedly, you grabbed your gear before rushing out the door, immediately stopping to softly tiptoe down the hall, (it would be inconsiderate to wake your neighbors at this hour).

You bolt out the complex, trying your best with the minimal light from the lampposts to groggily stumble your way to Complex II. You recall briefly the mention of a new doorman, a rookie. You figured it made sense,— poor new guy’s first day and he’s greeted by what you can assume as a particularly aggressive doppelgänger. 

Trudging up to the looming building, you approach the iron bound mechanical door. You can see immediately the shutters to the doorman’s office are closed, bits of movement visible from the gaps in the blinds. The poor dude was in shambles. 

You approach the gate, eyes locking on the figure of the doppelgänger, 

Hmm, let’s see who it is tonight…

You’re surprised to see the handsome face of your milkman staring back at you, eyes looking as dead as ever. The air was knocked right outta your lungs,— holy shit these doppelgängers were getting good. 

Clearing your throat, you address, 

“Uh,— right, sir,” you look at the doppelgänger, “I’m gonna need you to come with me.” 

He says nothing, opting to just stare. It’s then you notice the gaping hole that was his mouth, the two black chasms that were supposed to be his eyes. From afar, he’d look perfectly normal,— but in the light all the inhuman imperfections stuck out like a sore thumb 

Holy smokes that’s hot. 

“I’m going to take you with me now,” you don’t even know why you’re telling him this, why the hell were you being all nice with a doppelgänger? Sure, he was good looking,— sure, you were curious what that mouth could do—- 

But that’s besides the point. 

You approach hesitantly, hooking an arm around ‘Francis’, giving him a light tug to signify him to follow you. 

Surprisingly, he does. Without a single word or complaint. He just… stares. With those beady white pupils. It sends a delicious shiver down your spine. 

Leading him away, you look over your shoulder at the doorman who just peeked out from behind the shutters, giving him a reassuring thumbs up as you walk away with your new companion. 

“Threat neutralized,” you repeat into the bulky walky talky attached to your belt, “order complete, over”. You place it back in its compartment, continuing until you and ‘Francis’ reach the anomaly compound for all things strange and odd. 

‘Francis’ looks at the compound with horribly disguised disgust. You only chuckle grinning, 

“No no, don’t worry. You aren’t going in there…” he seems to breathe a sigh of relief— if that’s even possible—, before you finish the last bit, 

“— don’t worry, I have… other plans for you..”

——

“Strip.” 

“Excuse me?” He whirls around, taken aback. 

“You heard me, strip” 

“And why,” his eyes narrow, “would I do that?” 

You shrug, “safety protocol,-- we’re in the decontamination room,-- can’t let you in if your clothes are contaminated, y’know?” 

'Francis' is absolutely flabbergasted. 

“Oh, and for security measures someone else has to be in the room at all times, – but uh,-” you grin, “we’re a lil’ short staffed at the moment, so it looks like it’ll just have to be you and me. 

'Francis' only looks at you through narrowed eye lids, thinking, “and if I refuse?” 

“Then I’ll strip you myself” and you step closer to do just that. 

'Francis' skitters backwards to the other end of the room, back hitting the wall, “h-hey! No need for that, I’ll do as you ask…” he mutters

Chuckling, “at least you can be obedient” 

'Francis' looks away almost bashfully as he begins to undo the buttons on his shirt, fabric peeling away to reveal the pale skin underneath. His hat rests on a nearby bench

“Fully,” you purr, “I want it all off.” 

You swear you see the tiniest hint of red tinge his cheeks, and you can’t help but wonder just how advanced this doppelgänger was. Good thing you were about to see for yourself in a moment… 

The air is heavy, tense, almost, as 'Francis' slowly undoes the buckle on his belt, pants sliding down to his ankles, – his boxers the only scrap of clothing left hiding him from you. 

He wearily regards the way you look at him, not missing the growing flare of hunger behind your eyes, 

“Does this please you, officer?” his words are clipped, tension building up behind each one. Biting your lip, your breath almost catches at the way he smiles, teeth a little too sharp to be human. 

“No.” The words are thick in your throat, forcing them out a bit of a struggle, “Get rid of the rest of it, now” 

He bites his tongue, making no move to do so. In a second you’re on him, pinning his figure to the wall, bodies pressed up together. He has no time to react as you hook two fingers around his boxers, harshly yanking them off. 

“Oh.”

Free of the confines of his pants, his erect cock springs loose, tip already dripping with precum. 

“Huh.” 'Francis' can’t even turn his head your way, face hot and sweating slightly, “Who would’ve thought,” – your hands curl around him, taking him fully in your fist. His eyes fly to your face, pupils blown and dilated, staring in horrified arousal as you began to knead the hardened flesh, “--what a sick little thing you are, getting off on my reprimands, hmm?” 

'Francis' sucks in a sharp breath, muscles tensing almost to a breaking point. His entire body shook with an animalistic need. More strands of precum build up on his tip, all read and agitated. Your thumb rubs the tiny slit, coating him with the sticky fluid. You found it hilarious, – no way this freakish creature had a fucking thing for degradation. 

His mouth opens in the shape of a small ‘o’, eyes rolling back as you teasingly pull at his dick, your hands making wet squelching noises playing with the soaked meat. 

“Mm,” you hum as you continue to play with him, dumbifying the creature in your hands. His legs start shaking like a dog’s, lewd whimpers flowing from his lips, glistening with saliva and drool. He desperately thrusts himself against your hand, chasing his pleasure farther. Jerking him off slowly, immense satisfaction burning in your stomach at the way your hand milks him. Each low groan went straight to your pulsing heat, drenching your own pants. 

Panting, unfamiliar with the immense, foreign pleasure curdling through his gut, 'Francis' seems to forget the guise of his human appearance, pornograpic moans mixing in with groggy animalistic growls and grunts. Carnal desire ripples through his veins, building up in his stomach, molten hot, and threatening to explode from his twitching cock in your hands. Poor thing can’t even formulate words, getting his brains fucked out just by your hand alone. 

He gasps, right about to climax into your hammering fist when you suddenly retract your hand. 'Francis' looks at you with wide eyes, looking every bit the kicked puppy, cruelly robbed of his orgasm. 

“Hh. huh… nghu..- ga-?..”,  panting.

You chuckle slowly, “no, not yet…” 

He can only watch with teary eyes as you skillfully unbuckle your pants, sliding them off along with your underwear. You grab him by the hips, positioning him (which isn’t hard, considering the only thing keeping his shaking body up was your torso), and aligning your pelvis, eyebrows furrowed in concentration. You carefully slip him into your drenched hole, gasping softly at the sensation of him.

“Hah… like I said….” ‘Francis’ can only gape as you adjust yourself, cock twitching madly inside of you, 

… “I’m not done with you yet…”

#submission #francis mosses x you #francis mosses thats not my neighbor #thats not my neighbor #tnmn #francis mosses #milkman #milkman x reader #tnmn milkman #the milkman #milkman smut #francis mosses x reader #francis mosses smut #tnmn smut #x afab reader #i love milk #i am the milkman my milk is delicious #smash #tnmn fanfic #fanfic #smut

[apotelesmaa]

every (early) emu event AND THE MAIN WXS STORY is like “I need to be happy to make everyone else happy I can’t show anything other than joy my purpose is just to make others smile if I’m sad it’s my problem only I have to deal with everything on my own” & she canonically helped nene with math and got the third highest score on a test (which ppl did not believe) and wants to learn about the logistics of running PXL only to be barred from it by her brothers and has insane emotional intelligence to the point where she can point out things that everybody else fails to notice in people she’s not even close to & yet everyone is like “emu is dumb and silly that’s all there is to her character.” Pointing to rui saying “without you none of us (wxs) would be here” do not disrespect my girl. she is the heart of wxs. Emotional core of wxs. Gets along with literally everyone. Make no mistake she *is* silly goofy with powers scaling based on looney toons logic but she is also just as deep of a character as every other pjsk character. She has so much depth. Come with me and analyze emu… she is so fascinating… also she is canonically strong & smart as fuck she just dresses/acts whimsical because she enjoys it and it makes other ppl happy. & she is hysterical. Canonically digs holes around wxs to jumpscare people and has access to a hazmat suit she used while cleaning the wonder stage.

#i love you emu (throwing up and crying etc) #project sekai #repetive posting abt emu because I love her and think it’s important.

[batterygarden]

aot relationship hcs

Ft. Eren, Armin and Mikasa

Sfw but no minors on my page pls, these are miscellaneous and sillly.. I wrote them in a haze after my melatonin kicked in yesterday…like 1 or 2 suggestive ones in there

Eren

He plays basketball (he’s rlly good 😔) and if you come visit him on the court he dribbles the ball around you rlly aggressively like “try n block me!” and you just stare at him straight faced because he is exhausting

He is simply the most DRAMATIC man alive. Like if you don’t give him endless attention, hold his hand, climb on him, act borderline obsessed with him… he might explode. If you go 24 hours without playing with his hair he is wearing all black and mourning your lost love… cause you must just not care about him anymore!

He’s also kinda a neat freak… another opportunity for his dramatics. If you leave a dirty dish in the sink for more than half an hour he is turning up in a hazmat suit like baby…. i can’t handle how dirty the kitchen is rn. (He’ll do the dish for you)

Casual shoplifter even though he can truly afford all the things he steals

He probably commits tax fraud too

Bad driver but over confident as hell. Driving almost 50 in a residential like STOP :/

Also… hello mr oral fixation. He’s constantly got a necklace in his teeth or something… and that’s all fine and good till you find YOUR OWN PERSONAL BELONGINGS in your boyfriends mouth god. Like give me back my nice pilot G2 pen you animal >:(

Takes rlly long showers and uses up all the hot water AND your fancy conditioner. He is definitely one of those product stealer men…

He also borrows ur claw hair clips and never gives them back 😔

Randomly pretends to beat up the air in front of you u like put ‘em up!! And you’re never sure how to react. Like you’re standing there doing the dishes and he assumes fighting stance and starts punching ghosts till you give him attention.

Armin

Accidentally rolls his eyes ALL the time. Like he doesn’t even mean to his face is just automatically sassy when he disagrees w something. But he’s self aware. Sometimes he’ll do it and you’ll pause mid-sentence then he’ll catch himself like WAIT SORRY. I didn’t mean to do that. 😔

Makes you dandelion chains without you having to ask.. or puts dandelions and other wildflowers on you all the time… in your hair, in your pocket, in the little holes where your shoelaces go.

he’ll just fiddle w your things absentmindedly CONSTANTLY… he’s simply a fidgety guy!

Like you’re sitting in the grass talking to him and he’s nodding along like Mhm Mhm… while he repeatedly zips and unzips your bag… rolling up and unrolling the straps etc.

but sometimes the thing he is fidgeting with is YOU. Your hands are a favorite… especially your rings and any jewelry you may wear 😮‍💨 this man is having a field day spinning the metal around your fingers.

He’ll sometimes over explain things/accidentally go into extreme detail and you’ll tease him for mansplaining. But a lot of the time he’ll the OPPOSITE of mansplain things and use words way too big / poorly dumb down the most CONVOLUTED subjects and you’re like slow down there mr graduated college early 😔 .. say that again as if I were a 5 year old please

His sport of choice is… wait for it… track. Yeah this man’s a runner… occasionally a hurdler… he’s got stamina.. have u seen those CALVES when he’s the colassal ! Major swoon

Pretentious as hell ab the music he listens to. Gatekeeps even…. NO PUBLIC PLAYLISTS.

He gets bad anxiety the night before work and stuff… also picks apart social interactions after they happen… generalized anxiety disorder king!

He’s a gossip of course…. Literally will give you a million looks mid social gathering that say “we’ll dissect this later”

Does weird only child things every day without realizing

Like arranging the Tupperware a specific and less efficient way than you and getting mad when you don’t put yours away like he wants it

Or getting annoyed when you don’t burn his candles a very specific way that apparently is “more efficient” 🙁

He also NEEDS alone/recharge time… social stuff can get exhausting to him!

Mikasa <3

Good w cars… best with cars out of the three hands down… she’s your personal mechanic 🥺

She’s also miss quiet road rage over here.. she seems calm and collected but she is cursing the entire lineage of the minivan driver that just cut her off in traffic.

Eats up some reality tv… and is embarrassed about it 😔 she asks you not to tell people she’s rewatching season 10 of the bachelor rn

Aggressive as hell to ucky men in bars / clubs… or just in general

Like “back the fuck off before I beat your ass” kind of aggressive… very protective of you and any woman ever in these type of situations

& she has the skill to back up her talk!! This woman is a martial artist/ full time gym rat… she is *strong*. You need not worry about your safety no matter the situation when you’re with her.

Her critical nature towards men nicely contrasts how much she LOVES bimbos lmao. Extremely forgiving and patient towards bimbos… she’ll explain things to you so so gently.

She’s somewhat shy with direct flirting before you’re official… kinda nervous to ruin whatever dynamic you two had going on to begin with.. but once your feelings are out in the air this woman is getting a medal for her direct communication skills.

“I need you to hold me really tight right now, I’m feeling kind of anxious.”

“I want you to kiss me please! Need to feel your pretty lips”

“If we were alone right now I would have you fully ***** and ********* *** ** ** ****** ****.”

perpetually cold hands.. and she warms them by sticking them in YOUR shirt or even occasionally your pants. Just sticking em in there and then staring at you like she’s doing nothing wrong … staring at you like you’re NOT getting goosebumps on your ass cheeks rn

Once she gets comfortable, Mikasa is CONSTANTLY TEASING YOU RIGHT WHERE IT HURTS.

like it starts light, creating a little inside joke or two, like making fun of the special way you prepare your sandwiches or how you make the bed.

But then you catch her giggling to herself one day and you’re like aww what’s so funny ^_^ and she says she was thinking about that time you embarrassed yourself in front of her parents 😔

But then sometimes if she’s not in the right mood she’ll get all sassy if you tease her back. All “okay but I didn’t say it like that 😒.” Then she’ll pinch you.

She texts like .. full punctuation and everything. At first you thought she was mad at you every time you got her notifications till you got used to it.

She looks KILLER in turtlenecks it’s ridiculous

#eren x reader #armin x reader #aot x reader #mikasa x reader #eren jaeger x reader #aot headcanons #snk x reader #eren yeager x reader #armin arlert x reader #eren fic #armin arlert headcanons #eren yaeger headcanons #mikasa headcanons

[pupcuck]

WASTE ME !

ft. leon s. kennedy x gn!reader

tags. rape, non-con to dubious consent, reader has low self esteem so they think the rape is deserved, dead dove, vendetta leon, implied age gap, virginity loss, kind of stockholm cuz they end up liking leon, guilt, p in v

a/n. please don’t read if this is triggering it’s quite literally just non-con and reader saying they like it bc they’re lonely !!

two / three

You haven’t been out of the house in a while. Not quite unusual, but you’re sure it’s been an extended amount of time since you did anything more than stepping outside to collect a delivery. It’s late and there’s nothing sweet to eat. Excluding the bloomed chocolate stored all the way in the back of your fridge on the shelf that’s icky in ways you choose to ignore. You don’t want to clean that shit up. Gotta seek out a hazmat suit first.

Delivery is always an option, but you’ve wasted so much money on those fucking service fees, it’s a total joke. So you put on your brave face and head out. The October wind chills you to the bone, makes you ache like your entire body needs to be thawed the second it hits you. Put in the microwave a few times. Left to defrost. You regret not putting on those cutesy mittens, got nervous the old corner store owner would find you childish and left them behind in the heat of the moment. Now you’ve got fucking frostbite, you silly bitch.

With your heart in your throat, ready to slip out at a moment’s notice if you do as little as open your mouth, you step inside the dimly lit store. The bell jingles, you’re welcomed by a damp smell that makes you retch silently, the buzz of the refrigerators slowly drives you mad as you make your way through the aisles. Anything will do at this point. You grab the first pack of sugar-coated gummies, and pop it down on the counter. You’ve only got a note, hoping he’d break it, but the cashier unhelpfully drops an extensive amount of change into your small palm, leaving you fumbling.

Keeping the plastic packet between your teeth, you try your best to shove the change into the pocket of your puffy jacket. Of course, everyone is against you at all times, so a coin falls to the ground with a metallic clink. And you’re gonna chase after it when it rolls away. Duh. You don’t have a single penny to waste. Not with all those utility bills. Not with all your bad online shopping habits.

You’re crouched down on the ground, tucked into a nook the streetlights don’t see, feeling around with both your hands. Like how Velma looks for her stupid fuckin’ dork glasses. You feel him before you see him. Smell the sourness of whatever he’s been drinking. Like a fucking keg party, Jesus. His hands are warm on your hips, grabbing them like nobody’s business. You’re scared for sure. Scared shitless in fact. You almost pissed your pants when he crept up behind you like that, like he’s some beast from a creature feature.

Although, you suppose, no one’s ever held you this way. Held you like they want you. Lucky he can’t see your face. You’re certain he’d be the one kicking up a fuss, stumbling out of the alley like you’re the one that tried to rape him. Understandable. You’re a sexually repulsive rat. No one's ever wanted to bang you. Like ever. Once again, totally understandable. You’re not exactly what anyone would call pretty, average even. Dog-face is closer to what you are, face like a pound of slapped ass. Shouldn’t be allowed in public. A guy once told you he’d only hit if you put a bag over your head first. You were willing too, but he was messing with you.

Anyway, back to this guy, he’s got a firm grip on you. It should be totally horrifying, but you’re leaning back into him, and wondering if he’s handsome or not. Probably not. Handsome guys don’t feel the need to shove their dicks in ugly holes. It’s too dark to see his face. You feel prickly stubble on your cheeks when he grabs your face, forces you to kiss him. You don’t know how to kiss him so it’s likely clumsier than he anticipated. You taste the whiskey on his lips, and suck on his tongue when it slips past your parted pucker. Shit. So this is what it’s like. Makes your gut stir, panties sticking to your core with each passing second.

Doesn’t seem as tense as he previously was. Maybe he expected you to put up a fight, but he got lucky. Hit the rape victim jackpot actually. ‘Cause you’re willing to take any dick you can. Most cockhungry virgin in all the world. Other than the dizzying scent of alcohol, nothing else about him is inherently nasty, the nails that dig into your jaw seem to be trimmed well. His hair is better kept than yours ever is when you squint through the darkness at his looming figure. Huh. Hot guys really do fuck ugly bitches. Less pressure maybe. An ugly bitch like you wouldn’t complain one bit, not about his dick, not about how he’s roughing you up, how he smells, none of it. You’ll take whatever venereal disease he’s got just to know what it’s like. To be wanted. To be fucked.

“I’m sorry,” he says, he sounds earnest, you forgive him. He’s taking your virginity, something that’s way overdue, of course you forgive him. Especially with that voice. Gosh. Sounds like warm honey. He pulls your sweats over your hips, presses his hard cock into your ass cheek. Strange and fleshy. Firm and soft all at once.

He takes you like an animal. Stray dog mounting his bitch in a back alley. Sounds about right. It hurts like hell, you’ve never been able to force your fingers particularly deep. Too short, always missing the mark. He exceeds it. You’re pretty sure he’s bruising your cervix, the pace he builds is fast, then he runs out of breath and it’s slow. Sloppy. Lots of ragged breathing. You put a hand over your mouth, weep into your palm, nose running as this stranger fucks up your insides. Fat cock splitting you open on the ground. This is how it was always going to go, ugly bitches like you don’t get laid, they get raped. Reserved for filthy fucking. Sex and foreplay and all that shit is for pretty girls. You’re far from it.

“Jesus,” he hisses when you squeeze around him, when you jolt in pain, hips backing up into him. He runs a finger along your jagged spine, leaves you covered in goosebumps. “I’m sorry.” He says it again, and you know he means it. “I’m so sorry.”

You’re crying like a baby, your chest aches and your knees are scraped. It’s okay, you’d like to tell him, but a hiccup bubbles up in your throat. It feels good. Really. You like it. You’d let him do it again and again. You want to be needed. Want to be the subject of someone’s desires.

He finishes in three minutes flat. You don’t complain when his seed sticks to your ass, trickles down your thighs all sticky. You’re just glad you made him cum. You feel accomplished. Can tick it off your bucket list. He’s trembling more than you are when he stands up, offers his warm hand, refuses to look you in the eyes as you struggle to dress yourself. Feels like you got pins and needles. Hoisting your joggers up, you grab his wrist before he walks away.

You were right. He’s cute. Super cute. Facial hair is a little scraggly but who are you to judge? He’s older than you by a fair amount. Pretty eyes, low brows, dimpled chin. Looks like he should be in a movie with that face. Shoot your shot. Come on. “Hey, could I get your number?”

#leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy smut #leon s kennedy x reader #leon s kennedy x you #leon kennedy x you #leon s kennedy smut #leon kennedy imagine #tw noncon

[nerdpoe]

Haaaaa u know what i like? Bruce suffering.

Just for a little tho, and then being better afterwards. Happy endings.

Like if his Brucie persona needed to dump money in a monumentally stupid investment to feed the "he's a dumbass" story, and dumped said money to a pair of supernatural scientists insisting they could punch a hole in reality to the Realm of the Dead.

They tried to show him said portal.

It did not work.

He notices their son and his friends have mysteriously gone missing just as said scientists wanna take him out to lunch.

Dad Senses activated; Something Is About To Go Wrong, Code Jason Style.

Makes excuse, leaves them to go on ahead, and goes to yank their kid out of whatever shit he's about to do.

Goes downstairs.

Sees the little shit in just a hazmat suit and walking into a highly electrified experimental setup, his friends egging him on.

"Hey!" Batman voice activate, Dad Fear Mode On, accidentally distracts kid into turning, tripping, and slapping the wall for balance.

Then

The machine turns on

And Bruce has to hear the screams of a child being electrified to death.

#dcxdp #dpxdc #dc x dp #dp x dc #batman #bruce wayne #brucie #danny fenton #tucker foley #sam manson #jack fenton #maddie fenton #story prompt

[minty364]

DPXDC Prompt #142 Part 1

It had been a few days since his birthday, his parents forgot again but that was how things went in his family. At least his sister, Jazz knew how to throw something together quickly so he at least got to spend it with her and his friends. Speaking of his friends, they were hanging out in the park together. They had gotten close over the summer. Trips to the Nasty Burger, followed by trips to the mall and then late night sleepovers were the normal weekend pattern for the trio especially the later in the summer it got.

They’d talk about all sorts of things while swinging or chilling around the slide. Currently their conversation had drifted towards which superpower would you like if you had the meta gene. Strangely the whole town seemed to be meta free. Not that anyone in the town hated metas just that no one possessed the gene. 

“I think I’d like to be able to control Technology with my mind.” Tucker said, pointing toward his forehead in emphasis, “ I’d never have to set poor Lucy down again!!” He hugged his current PDA tightly. 

Sam and Danny shared a look while Sam rolled her eyes. “I think I’d like to control plants like Poison Ivy. I wonder if she’d be up for a goth side-kick” Sam said, punching the air in front of her with her fist. “What about you Danny?”

Danny took a few minutes to mull over the question before answering, “I think I’d like to fly. Even if I don’t get into the college I want I’d be able to fly up there anyways.”

“Pfft, bring me back a piece of a meteorite when you do,” Sam chuckled. They all knew their dreams of getting powers would never come true. Not without the meta-gene anyways.

“Sure,” Danny shrugged, “Oh, by the way since my parents are out of town I’m going to check out the portal to see if I can get it running for them. Want to see it?”

“Dude, that’s sick! Unfortunately my parent’s cousin is flying in tomorrow and I’ll need to help prep stuff” Tucker said sadly. 

“I don’t know about that Danny, your parents are great but I don’t know if I trust this portal” Sam said, raising an eyebrow at him.

“I wouldn’t worry it’s not likely to actually work or anything,” Danny shrugged. 

Soon the trio had to get back to their respective homes. Well Sam and Tucker did. Danny’s parents were out of town at some convention. 

They had left Danny and Jazz home alone and they gave instructions for Danny and Jazz to take turns cleaning the lab and making sure the portal didn’t suddenly turn on while they were gone. They had tried before heading out for their trip but unfortunately nothing happened when they turned it on. 

Danny wanted to check it out for them when he was done cleaning. He also figured if he could help his parents with their science it would be easier for him to get into the college he wanted to achieve his dreams. 

He quickly finished cleaning, and then put on his hazmat suit. Sam had once made fun of the Jack Fenton sticker placed on the front and fortunately it was easy enough for Danny to remove. Then he took a calming breath and stood in front of the portal. As it stood at the moment, it was a dark hole in the wall that seemed to suck all the light out of the room. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up as he suddenly got the urge to run out, maybe he could come back with Sam and Tucker? Unfortunately he knew his parents were back tomorrow so if he wanted to help he needed to do it now.

Stealing his nerves he took a step forward and then another. Into the tunnel he went. It was then he realized he made an error when he found something caught on his foot. He flailed as he tried to catch himself and his hand pushed some kind of button on the wall.

A flash of white light and he felt an eternity of agony. It felt unbearably hot as Danny could feel himself being melted and then put back together. Soon he lost consciousness as everything went dark.

He wasn’t sure how long he was out but he definitely wasn’t at home anymore. He seemed to be in the hospital, the usual medical supplies seemed to be all around as well as a few things he couldn’t identify. He didn’t seem to be attached to any monitoring equipment which seemed a little off but the fact he weirdly didn’t seem to have any burn marks on him. He was sure the portal should have killed him and the fact that he was somehow completely unscathed made him a little worried. Maybe he did die?

His thoughts were interrupted as someone walked into the room. They had messy blond hair, blue eyes, and wore a trench coat. He looked relieved when he saw Danny was awake.

“Took you long enough, kid you were out for a whole week!” The newcomer exclaimed. 

A week. 

The thought swirled around in Danny’s head. That meant his Family thought he was missing. Sam and Tucker knew he was missing. That also meant he missed the first week of school. That probably wouldn’t look well on an application. 

He could tell his thoughts were spiraling a little but he couldn’t help it. He didn’t even know what exactly caused him to be out for that long. 

He thought about what could’ve happened to end him up in a hospital and then the thought occurred to him. 

The portal. 

“What about my parents' portal?” Danny asked the guy.

Next:

#dp x dc prompt #dp x dc #dc x dp #danny fenton #danny phantom #poor danny #The Portal #Danny dies temporarily #Danny’s going to have some deep existential dread in a bit #He’s going to wind up living at the watchtower I think #Constantine saves Danny #Danny’s going to be bonding with different hero’s in this one #He realizes he’s not human anymore in the next chapter #He’s also going to realize he’s in SPACE!! #my asks are open #all my prompts are free to use

[darubyprincx]

Tango was crouched in an obscure corner of Decked Out, crammed into as small a hole as he could find as the stone overhead creaked and groaned. With one arm over his head, he grumpily typed a message into chat:

<TangoTek> what is it with the lag

<TangoTek> my redstone keeps skipping and it's gonna start breaking stuff

<Xisuma> Were exploring the 1.20 update

<TangoTek> i had to turn everything off

<Xisuma> Loading lots of chunks

He sighed and, taking out his shield, jammed it into place above his head. If this place came down, he was probably going down with it, but he preferred to not lose all his stuff under a bunch of rubble.

The dungeon was not happy.

About two hours ago, the server had started skipping randomly, which was disorienting enough normally but definitely wasn't helped by the fact that Decked Out had started going haywire as well.

Not only was the redstone flashing on and off erratically, but the structure itself was literally warping as the dungeon contorted itself into new, agonized shapes to try and avoid the lag. Which wasn't great if you were in the middle of it, like Tango was.

A hiss sounded from above him, and Tango shot out of the little hole he'd been hiding in as the roof split in two, held up only by his shield, which itself twisted and snapped.

<TangoTek> guys this isn't good

<TangoTek> things are gettgn a bit dicwy down her e

<Xisuma> Whats happening?

<TangoTek> decked out angry

Unfortunately, he couldn't elaborate further because at that point, the entire hallway behind him collapsed and he sprinted upwards towards safety.

Cracks appeared in the walls. The floor and ceiling shook. Tango stumbled up stairs and through the winding hallways, gasping and falling over as soon as he got to the entrance to the first level. The dungeon growled warningly behind him.

"It's not my fault, okay!" he gasped, trying to get his robes realigned. "It's the- it's the other people here! They're exploring all out and lagificating the server! I have nothing to do with this!"

Decked Out growled again, and dust shook from the roof.

"Come on, buddy," Tango pleaded. "Not my fault. I haven't even left here in... a... month."

Should he be worried about that?

Nah. It was probably fine.

The dungeon's door opened minutely on its own with a shriek of stressed metal, then slammed shut again. Tango winced as the edges crumpled, and the dungeon let out another groan, softer this time. It almost sounded like it was in... pain?

Yeah, okay, he probably wasn't fine after a month down there. He was hallucinating a dungeon having emotions. Like, come on. Surely-

"OI," came a very loud and very indignant voice from the entrance. Tango looked over his shoulder to see Zedaph standing there in a hot pink hazmat suit, hands on hips. "UNNUM I HREN, YOU BEAF!"

"What?" asked Tango.

Zedaph took off his helmet and shook out his hair. "UNHAND MY FRIEND, YOU BEAST!" he repeated. The dungeon growled again, and all of the redstone went eerily silent.

"Zed, buddy," Tango tried, scooting backwards a few paces, "I don't think-"

"Don't take that tone with me," said Zedaph, helmet by his feet and hands back on his hips. His face was turned towards the ceiling, but Tango got the feeling he was addressing him as well. "You put my friend in danger. And let me tell you-" he pointed an accusing finger at the wall, Tango wanted to tell him that he should be pointing down instead but didn't "-that's not gonna fly. You hear that? I will not stand for this."

Decked Out growled again, closer and more menacingly this time, and Tango scrambled to his feet. "Zed, buddy," he said again, more urgently this time, "drop it. It's fine. I'm safe, see! Not a scratch!" He opened his arms to try and prove the point, but Zedaph just glowered at him.

"There is a gash on your arm," he said slowly. Tango looked over to see a cut on his inner arm, which had somehow pierced right through his specially reinforced robes. He drew it back in, folding his arm, but Zedaph had already stomped right up to the door.

"Did you hear that?" he said. "There is a cut. On his arm. Still bleeding. And I bet I know whose fault it is."

"Zed!" shouted Tango, running up and trying to yank him backwards. "Stop! Lay it off! Can it! You don't know what you're-"

The server skipped again, much worse this time, and in between the pauses Tango heard a loud shriek coming from below, slowly growing in pitch and intensity.

"Now look what you've done," said Tango, fear and anxiety tinting his voice a dark navy blue. "Dude. Are you an idiot?"

The floor shook, and from below a low rumbling could be heard. The door started to slowly open.

"Come on," he said to Zedaph, who was not moving. He tugged at his sleeve. "You need to go. Why aren't you listening to me?" He shook Zedaph's shoulders, but he just shrugged off the attempts.

From within the dungeon wafted out a horrible smell, horrible not because it was repulsive but horrible because of its implications. The only way Tango could put it was that it smelled like death. Death and dread and doom. He hid behind Zedaph, who calmly stood his ground.

"Yeah, yeah, alright," he said with a snort. "Try to intimidate me. You forget that my whole thing in season 6 was that I was good friends with Death himself. Oh, wait! You weren't there for that!"

The rumbling stopped, confused, and Zedaph continued as Tango continued tugging fruitlessly backwards on his sleeve.

"Listen. I know the lag sucks and all that but that's not an excuse to put my lad Tango here in danger," said Zed, sounding quite confident for someone who was literally facing down a questionably sentient and definitely not friendly megastructure. "We've met before. You know me. You also know him. And you should know by now because I've said it like, five times that if you did anything to put him in harm's way besides like, regular ravager stuff that he does anyways because he's an idiot, I'd get him out of there because he deserves better and you lost your right to keep him for the day. Right?"

The dungeon was silent.

"Right?"

Tango's comm beeped, as did Zedaph's, and he checked it and sighed. "One moment, please," he said to the dungeon, who creaked in response.

<impulseSV> forgot to check comms, everything good over there?

<Zedaph> yep! just negotiating with a sentient and probably evil dungeon

<impulseSV> what?

<Zedaph> Decked Out

<Zedaph> it's haunted

<impulseSV> What?

<GeminiTay> Decked Out's haunted???????

<Zedaph> Decked Out's haunted

He shoved his comm back into his pocket and turned his attention back towards the door. "As I was saying, we have an agreement, do we not?"

The dungeon continued to be silent, but Tango could sense deeply annoyed confirmation in the tone of it.

"We do," said Zedaph. "And because of that agreement, you have to uphold your end. I get to do tests for Tango once a month and you get to kill me or whatever, and in return you let him go once a month. If I take him outside of that one day per month, I get killed in a freak ravager accident-"

"What?" whispered Tango.

"-and if he gets hurt and it's your fault, you have to let him go for a day," said Zedaph. "So yeah. It's 2pm. We will be back at this time tomorrow. Hand him over, please."

Tango fully expected a Ravager or a Warden to come barrelling out of the door and gore the both of them to death. He was already preparing his speech to Zedaph about how you did not just talk to the dungeon that way and how it would absolutely remember it next time when the doors behind them reluctantly opened of their own volition, letting the sunlight stream freely in. Tango just blinked at it.

"Thank you," said Zedaph behind him, dragging Tango alongside him as he stomped towards the exit. Tango just stared behind him, mouth agape, and as the door clanged shut he flinched.

"How did you?" he asked, mouth still wide open. "You just- you can't just- huh? Zed, buddy, that was the stupidest- you could have- what?"

Zedaph just raised an eyebrow as he looked at him. "Because I'm your friend," he said. "And that's just a big stupid building."

The "big stupid building" groaned warningly behind him.

"Sorry!" Zedaph shouted at it. He turned back to Tango, still not letting go of his arm. "Anyways, I think you need therapy. Come to think of it, the dungeon also needs therapy."

Head still spinning, Tango tried his best to make sense of the past fifteen minutes. "Dungeon... therapy?"

"Yep," said Zed, letting him go and starting down the stairs. "Difficult, but I'm 99% sure it can be done." He paused. "Make that 98%. I haven't talked to Cleo about it yet. Are you coming with me or not?"

"You," Tango said, jogging a little to catch up with him as he bit into a carrot, "are insane."

"Way less than you are, my friend," said Zedaph. He wrinkled his nose. "Aw, dang. Forgot my helmet. That's not surviving another 5 minutes. Oh well. I have spares at home."

"Definitely not," agreed Tango. "So... what are we going to do?"

"Not sure," said Zed thoughtfully.

"We could go back in-" Tango started hopefully.

"Oh, no," said Zedaph. "You are not going anywhere near there in the next twenty four hours, mister. Oh!" He snapped his fingers. "I got it. We can go peoplewatching! I heard Mumbo's working on his farms. Maybe we could mess with him."

"Sounds like a plan," said Tango.

And the two walked off, the dungeon glowering behind them.

#ray's tag #mcyt #hermitcraft #hermitcraft s9 #hermitcraft 9 #writing #zedaph #tangotek #decked out 2 #we should really have a tag for our fics shouldnt we

[is-the-owl-video-cute]

I'm sorry but it's actually ridiculous that you really thought Adam and the exorcists from Hazbin Hotel were "race baiting". Like either you're being silly or you're being purposely obtuse.

Do you think that all the characters in the game Limbo are black? Was Peter Pan's shadow black? Do you think the Reaper from Overwatch is black because it's pitch black behind his mask?

No, they're shadowy figures. They are pitch black to indicate shadow. In Adam and the exorcist's case, it's not literal shadow, but the fact they are shady characters up to no good.

Really? It’s silly and obtuse to think the first human man, who initially seems to have black skin in a cartoon where demons and angels largely have gray skin, turning out to be a white man in a mask is a weird move?

Well ignoring the fact that Reaper also isn’t white if I’m recalling my Overwatch lore correctly, we can unpack this I suppose.

According to vivziepop, this character is black, mixed at least, and his skin is gray.

This character is Latina. Her skin is also gray.

This character appears to have dark gray, almost black skin. With what was previously given by the world building here, why exactly would I ever assume this is supposed to be a white man?

Should I expect Velvette here to wipe her face with a washcloth and boom she’s white, too?

Anyway, making the first human a white man is an insane choice. Humans are believed to have originated in Africa and/or the Middle East. Why would the first man be white. Why is Lilith, who was the first woman in this series, also white. Why are Lucifer, Saint Peter, Lute, and frankly most of the angels white or creatures.

#hazbin hotel #hazmat hole

[halfagone]

Master List

Hyperlinks to Major Fics

lex luthor's ascent from supervillainy to fatherhood | lex luthor's guide series - Based on Father-Son Relationships between Lex Luthor and Danny Fenton.

Off With [the Demon's] Head - The hot mess that is the Al Ghul-Wayne family. Includes: Dad!Danny, Young!Ellie, my OG Danny and Ra's Paradox Fic.

what was lost, found again | lost and found series - Where Danny finds Jason digging his way out of his own grave and brings him home.

down the rabbit hole (goes the throne) - No One Knows AU, Major Canon Divergence. Amity Park has many secrets and Batman Inc. are left to discover them.

bloodlines | born from flesh and bone, clay and stardust series - Danny is the biological son of Diana (Wonder Woman) and Bruce Wayne. A prophecy is involved.

billy batson and the phantom - Adventures of Billy Batson and Danny Fenton. Oh, and Vlad is there too, I guess.

all I am to you is a tragedy, right? - In which a grieving Bruce Wayne brings a Danny Fenton from another universe back with him. This has consequences.

Insomniacs Anonymous - Three-way crossover between DC, Danny Phantom, and Miraculous Ladybug. Social media and chat fic. Now with plot!

pay your dues - An exploration of politics in the Infinite Realms, and the debts that must be paid in full.

weekend wonders - A character study into Stephanie Brown and her resolve as a hero, especially when a close friend comes into suspicion.

present, future, past - Time travel fic in which Bruce falls into the future where everything seems perfect, better than he could have hoped it would be. It doesn't last.

trust no one (trust me) - In a world where the GIW are more competent than in the show, Danny draws some unwanted attention. The people he leaves behind search for him.

bones and all - Inspired by horror films, video games, and fiction. A ghost story set in the DPxDC crossover.

Other Ongoing Series

Please note that some fics may overlap on more than one series.

Readable Arrangements - Short Works for DPxDC, mainly romance.

It's All About Presentation - A collection of gift fics.

Writing Problems? I Say Writing Solutions - A collections of works from "Who Wrote That?" games.

Martydom - Stories exploring heavy topics, such as gore, violence, etc. Must check tags for each work.

oh, the (in)humanity - Hazmat Suit AU. Now featuring multiple timelines.

Our Gentle Sin - Centered around a romance between a Danny from another universe, where the end of the world has come and gone, and Bruce Wayne who helps him relearn what it means to be human.

Blood is Thicker Than Water, But So Is Ectoplasm - In which Danny is a clone of Batman.

Co-Written Works

Born to Make History | written alongside NightShiftShenanigans (@nightshiftshenanigans) - Patrol Partner Event; No Capes AU, Ice Skating AU, featuring Enemies to Lovers Danny and Jason.

For more completed works and series, explore here:

#quick jump to tags #halfagone's masterlist #halfagone's fics #with yours truly :D #lex luthor's ascent from supervillainy to fatherhood #lex luthor's ascent from supervillainy to fatherhood fanart #lex luthor's guide memes #halfagone replies #halfagone rambles #halfagone's fics fanart

[home-of-renn]

Phantom's hazmat suit doesn't look anything like the one Danny wore before the accident.

Many high-level hazmat suits are made from rubber - which doesn't make sense if Danny died from the electrical shock in the portal. BUT, it turns out that while rubber is a great insulator for electricity, like most things, it's only effective to a certain point. You can still get hit by lightning while wearing rubber. Danny got hit with enough energy to tear a hole between dimensions - which would be way more than his suit could handle, hence why he died. Plus the Fenton's didn't have proper access to ectoplasm until after the accident so they wouldn't have been able to make a suit better suited to withstand any kind of energy from the Zone.

Now, I like to imagine Danny's zap to have been more like a lightning strike than a regular little electrical shock. Lightening produces enough energy that it can even heat the air surrounding it and people who've been hit by it can suffer severe burns - internally and externally.

Rubber shrinks when exposed to heat. I have personally never liked the whole concept of Danny's suit looking the exact same before and after, just with the colours reversed. Like, it's not far-fetched to assume that the Fenton's made their own suits, including Danny's. It would mean that Phantom looks the exact same as their son in his hazmat suit, just with a different colour scheme - which is way too on the nose for me.

So, I propose that the Fenton's hazmat suits look more or less like regular ones, just colour coded and a bit more tailored to their wearer - so not as baggy and a bit more fashionable.

But Phantom's suit is skin tight - shrunken and fused to his skin after the immense heat endured at his death. It doesn't look like the Fenton's design and it doesn't look like your first idea of a hazmat suit.

Phantom's suit is tight enough to be mistaken as his skin - until you get up close and can make out a perplexing hexagonal pattern that's unique to the Fenton design

The soles of Danny's shoes melted from the heat and now Phantom leaves no footprints in his wake.

Phantom's skin has an almost pearlescent glow - not nearly as bright as the other ghosts. Lichtenberg scars are caused by bursting blood vessels and the glow that seeps from beneath his skin is almost enough to conceal the spidery scars that creep along the left side of his face, over his lips and the bridge of his nose, disappearing into his hairline and beneath the collar of his suit.

His suit is the colour of charred soot and ash - a stark contrast to his pristine accessories and colourless hair. When he flies in the dead of night, high above the streets of Amity, he almost looks like a shooting star.

#dp #home of renn #danny phantom #danny fenton #dp hc #portal accident #danny phantom hc #danny phantom headcanon #dribble drabble #dp AU #my AU

[phantom-dc]

Jason is 9 years old.

Today was his favorite day of the year. Even better than his birthday. He managed to find a bedsheet that was white and (sort of) clean, and had painted 2 black circles on it. He wasn’t going to cut holes in a perfectly good bedsheet. Who knows when he’d find another one? In Crime Alley lucky finds like these were rare. He got up, put the sheet in his backpack and left for Burnley. It was close, and yet the place wasn’t as crime infested as its surroundings. The rich guys there had the cops in their pockets, so they patrolled extra there. But that just made it perfect for today.

Halloween.

The day he could get candy for free.

When Jason got to Burnley, he already saw several other kids going around with their parents. He didn’t want to admit it, but it stung. He wanted to go with his mom too, but Catherine had been too out of it, and he didn’t even know where his dad was. Prison, most likely. It didn’t matter. He put on his sheet. Dressed as a ghost he’d try to get as much candy as he could.

Suddenly he heard someone shout: SPOOK! The next thing he knew he was covered in a weird, green glowing goop. 2 people in weird suits pointed weapons on him. Jason tried to run, but the goop was slippery and he fell. Suddenly a boy stood in front of him. The boy scolded his parents, explaining that Jason wasn’t a ghost but a boy in a costume. Why did he have to explain that? It was Halloween! Of course he was wearing a costume! Ghosts don’t even exist! Jason took of the sheet. He was about to cry, it was ruined! How was he supposed to enjoy today at all? No one would give him anything without a costume! While a girl with red hair scolded the 2 adults that had attacked him, the boy held out his hand to help Jason up. He apologized for his parents. They are weird. Jason was about to go home, when the boy had an idea. His parents brought hazmat suits for him and Jazzy. If they wear that they can pretend to be ghostbusters together! They’ll get more candy if they wear a co-op costume. Jason thinks about it, and agrees. He has nothing to lose and everything to gain.

A few minutes later they are both dressed up, wearing weird suits and weirder weapons strapped to their belts. As they go around collecting candy Jason asks what’s up with his parents. He gets Halloween is awesome, but no one should be so into it that they’d try to hurt a kid. The boy sheepishly rubs his neck. His parents aren’t dressed up. They are really ghostbusters. He doesn’t like it. The other kids at school think it’s weird and bully him for it. This kid Dash locked him up in the school’s janitor closet once. It took 3 hours before someone found him. Jason advices him to punch the guy in the nose. The boy doesn’t think that’s a good idea. Jason advices then to finish it off with a kick in the groin.

After they have raided the district, Jason and the boy return to the van. Jazzy tells her brother to get in before their parents forget him and leave. He says goodbye to Jason and that he had great fun! Jason can keep the suit, maybe he can use it again next year? As the van drives off, Jason notices that the kid left his bag behind. Jason feels bad for him, but now he has twice as much candy! He promises to enjoy it twice as much, and takes it home. In the van Jazzy asks where Danny’s candy went. Danny says he gave it to his friend. He seemed hungry, and with dad driving he’d only throw it back up anyway.

Next - AO3

#danny phantom #danny fenton #dc x dp #dp x dc #red hood #jason todd #dead on main

[lana-llama-in-pajamas]

Thick as blood sweet as milk

Chapter 5

The younger one tries to grab you via the paper hole. You jumped back almost ripping over your chair, the cat hissing and scratching at the arm the tar like blood leaking over the desk. The smell was fucking rancid so you held your breath and slammed the panic button before calling “Rex” you said almost vomiting from the shutter being able to cut off the arm rolling until being stopped by the radio.You grabbed your cat walking out of the office into the hallway to wait for the DDD. As usual they showed up exterminated and checked with you “my cat scratched at one of the arms, the severed arm is in the office” you pet her cleaning her paw with tissues “on it” a hazmat walked in to see it “their so aggressive right now” he commented placing it into a garbage can that could be locked then cleaning with an unknown chemical that cut through the blood like nothing, your old uniform from the past attack had to be thrown away, the black tar staining the fabrics. “You’re telling me” you sighed walking back in and waving to the others as they left. Soon the twins and the pilots came together and yes they were all them, you asked how it was and the girls giggled talking a little gossip and passed her a telegram “there’s a magazine party coming up you should come” Sel jumped up and down her heels clacking “calm down, but yeah you should totally go, you don’t have party dresses so we should go shopping” El smiled walking with her sister into the hall “oh and you can’t say no or we’ll drag you!” Sel yelled behind her faking an evil laugh making her sister cackle. You shook your head turning to the pilots, Steven held up his drunken father mumbling “I promise you it’s him, I don’t think dopples can get drunk and stupid enough to lose his hat in the wind” Steven passed both their papers gently fixing his grip on his dad “wow I have never been that drunk before” you laughed checking everything “yeah well, I don’t think girls can even drink that much. Smaller organs right?” He said, you nodded (ah, 1950s understanding of anatomy) “all seems ok, sleep well” you passed everything back to him “thank you miss, and we hope you sleep soon can’t have you getting ill on us” he winked walking off pulling his father with him.

The last resident was gauss. He was a reporter so you didn’t have much hope of him coming anytime soon, you decide to turn the radio to a music station singing along to the late night tunes.

Almost an hour of playing with the cat and singing and dancing you got caught off guard as you vibed singing 🎵 “you had plenty of it 19…22 and I had so much to give to youuu~ why don’t you do right like other men do~” 🎵 you spinned holding the now empty coffee “boo.” You jumped eyes almost popping out to see gauss. Soaking wet and pissed “oh! So sorry” you placed the cup down and grabbed his papers “don’t apologize, I like watching you dance and sing, you do it well doll” he said slicking back his wet hair, his shirt stuck to his skin showing no under shirt. You stared a little, why did a reporter have to be buff like that? He flexed a peck making you mentally die “don’t stare too long, the milkman might get jealous” he spoke lowly as if Francis was in the hall “how did you?” You asked not even bothering to finish “I see the way he looks at you at times” he chuckled “but no worries doll I got nothing for you I just like knowing the story” he flicked his press pass as you slid everything back “speaking of stories, why didn’t you get me anything when everyone else did?” You asked not wanting to sound greedy “what? I did I passed onto the milkman himself to give it to you, flowers and a hat”you were stunned. A gasp. Dumbfounded. You laughed a little realizing what happened that day. Francis was jealous of Gauss‘s gift because he was so caught off guard by everyone else . He threw it away. Then he flirts with you to feel and know he’s the one your into. “What a teenager!” You said randomly getting up and laughing more. Gauss was lost and a little upset “you didn’t receive it?” He said “no! Mosses threw it away!” You laughed holding yourself “he threw it away because he was jealous he was the only one without a gift!” Gauss couldn’t even believe Francis could blink let alone get jealous but he too started laughing “oh dear, I know i’m a little harsh around the edges. I have went to my own mama to help get you the gift.” He explained “well atleast you know I tried, it wasn’t an expensive hat anyways” he waved it off “what a ride tonight, one minute I’m interviewing a bunch of triple D officials the next I learned my emotionless robot neighbor gets jealous!” He laughed walking into the hall “goodnight doll, and tell ya boyfriend he owes me $10 for the gift he was soooo jealous of” he winked to you before disappearing.

You were still so distraught to even think the Francis that way, you can hear the pitter powder from the outside as you walked up the stairs finally ready to get to bed, but one did not leave your mind Francis did look at natcha with sad eyes so why was he getting jealous over you? You passed his door hearing music from it so you decided to knock the door. It just simply opened walking through without making noise, but you didn’t know why your were being quiet. An armchair and a couch and a lamp light. in living room all over a Persian rug was the scene in front of you. on the armchair was Francis. his house coat undone, showing his wife beater. His breathing was slow as he held a lit cigar in his hand, his record player playing the song that you couldn’t understand. 

He hummed along with his eyes closed, you sat on the couch listening to him…it was calming

The song repeated as he opened his eyes a little spooked to see you, he looked at his door which was wide open closing it and locking. He looked out the window, the rain starting to relax as he could see stars “y/n~” he hummed “y/n” “y/n” he sang squeezing your arm gently, you grunted eyes still closed, the cat popped up from behind the coach purring like crazy as he pet her “your such a loving thing” he cooed finally making you wake up, he smiled down at you having to kneel to meet your gaze on the couch. You looked up him lovingly in a hazy dream state holding your hands up for a hug, he happily holds you putting his forehead to yours “y/n this isn’t a dream” he whispered, his heart beating quickly as you hugged him closer “good morning” you whispered kissing him slowly, he froze but couldn’t help kissing back breathing in your scent. Finally let go pushing you back “please tell me your aware your actually kissing me” your eyes widened hearing him, your heart jumping “uh um well…..why’d you stop?” You were surprised you even said it but god now that you were fully awake you wanted it more “…I…” he was red looking down embarrassed, your position was a sight indeed. Your legs at either side of him, he was kneeling before you his arms wrapped around you, breathing in you pulled his face up kissing it lightly in sections make him breath a little harder “you smell so good, and your so soft…oh how I wished to hold you like this times over” he said almost reciting it like a poem, you blushed your head feeling like it moved on its own to kiss him deeper even holding his head in place, he tasted like whiskey and tobacco and you coffee. It felt like you kissed for hours but it was barely a few minutes, you separated looking away from other “this isn’t right” you got up walking to the window opening it to get some fresh air the rain droplets falling onto your hands “I’m sorry Francis it’s just.. I keep thinking this crazy theory” you put your face in your hands wanting to disappear from the situation “y/n, what’s going on?” He put his hand in your shoulders to face him “I don’t understand” you felt so bad. If you were wrong? Would he hate you? And if you were right you would feel like a harlot for preying on him. You looked away up at the stares preparing for either outcome “is Natasha yours?” You whispered the last part feeling him stiffen up. “….come sit.” He lead you to the couch again sitting in his armchair “…yes. Natasha is my daughter” there it was. Your heart sank and your hands grew cold “but. Natcha and me are on the terms that Natasha doesn’t need to know for now. And that natcha wishes to parent her alone.” He clarified holding your hand “you are not a home wrecker of any sort” he assured you “but how. How did it happen?” You asked thinking they were married or school sweethearts or anything “that’s a….sad story, but I will tell you” he poured you a shot and sat back changing the record to play a different song

“You see, those funny inappropriate jokes about milk men are a little bit more true than you think” he grew uncomfortable and ashamed “I was 22…natcha was 30…she was married I was not.”he continued “ I just started the job and her house was on my route, we took to liking to each other…it was nice. Her husband was a banker and from what I remember he was swell, a nice older man never yelled or hurt her. The one thing he couldn’t give Natcha was children…so she started to flirt and I like the dumb horny kid I was I went along. She wasn’t looking for a way out y/n she just wanted a child, after a year she was pregnant and didn’t even tell me until her 3rd trimester! She even showed me the divorce papers! I thought I was becoming a father, figures out I was just a means to an end….her husband did infact try and kill me too but thankfully I was stronger and faster. And she disappeared…I didn’t even know what my child was….i learned only 3 years ago her name was Natasha.” Francis held his temple holding back his tears composing himself. You weren’t even able to react processing all the information, atleast you had an answer. Yes. Natasha was Francis’s child and he was an absent father, but not by choice at face value “ when I moved into this apartment, I didn’t even know she was here. It was like they wanted me to see my child.” Francis finally let a tear roll “I thank god anytime Natasha chooses to talk to me, but I do feel sour towards Natcha to this day” he sighed “ i’m sorry for what she did to you. If she did ask you to be the father would you have married her?”

There was a pause.

“Now? No. Back then….maybe. You have to understand she’s the type of person where she will get what she wants and that is it. I don’t see her as evil, but I do see it as callous.” He explained sipping his drink “but know I have fallen in love with you in a way I haven’t felt in a long time y/n. I feel like a little boy again leaving wild flowers on a desk” he was very poetic when he spoke long enough and you could now fully understand why natcha would want him if not only for child bearing “you are?” You gulped “yes.” He kneeled before you again waiting on you to accept his touch, you pulled his hands towards you “I’m in love with you too I believe” you looked down “but your so elusive” he smiled holding your chin up “I’m a book, simply open and read” you let out a simple smile “where are you from?” “Russia” “born?” “No, but my parents were, the red scare is understandable if not slightly hurtful” he explained “I can speak it too” “how old are you?” “33” “favorite color?” “Red, ironically” “can I sleep here tonight?” He smiled at that question kissing you quick “of course my love”

Here you were (fucking finally) showered and in a big shirt cuddling against Francis, him kissing you gently randomly making you gleam. He held you so close it felt like he wanted to become one physically, you kissed back both of you acting like puppy’s in love.

You slept peacefully that night

By the wayyy send suggestions for the cat’s name and breed! I’ll do a poll before the next chapter

#Spotify #francis mosses x you #francis mosses #tnmn milkman #milkman x reader #tnmn #thats not my neighbor #thats not my neighbour milkman #izaack gauss