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nikkoliferous · 5 years

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Ragnarok Makes No Damn Sense (Part 1)

Having now laid out who Loki has always been and why there was an open agenda to demean and debase him, we come to why Thor: Ragnarok is antithetical to his character. Buckle your damn seatbelt. We've got a lot to unpack.

Off the bat, we're supposed to be appalled/annoyed/something that Loki has usurped the throne from Odin. Yet when last we left our heroes, Thor had abdicated his role as King of Asgard, knowing full well that Odin's health was failing, he was emotionally unfit to rule, and there was no other heir to fill his role. Oops! And for all that we're meant to believe in Loki's selfish ambitions for a throne, let us not forget that Loki-as-Odin at the end of The Dark World offered Thor this kingship. It was Thor who refused. What was it he said at the time? Oh, yes.

"For all his grave imbalance, Loki understood rule as I know I never will."

Now Ragnarok wants us to forget all that. It doesn't suit the narrative Taika Waititi wishes to spin. He wants us to believe that Loki is a terrible, lazy ruler who cares only about glorifying himself. But wait, is Loki a terrible ruler? The Hero™ tells us he is, so it must be so. And yet all we really know of Loki's reign is that he had a non-interventionist foreign policy, improved public infrastructure, and supported the arts. Wow, yeah, what a dick.

We will soon go on to meet Doctor Strange, a character who in comparison to Loki is a novice at magic yet somehow repeatedly manages to get the drop on the trickster. This is necessary in order to minimize Loki's power and competence in the eyes of the viewer. Let me also explain why the "I have been falling for 30 minutes" scene is not charming.

Does anyone think perhaps Loki may have a touch of PTSD related to the sensation of falling? No? Then perhaps we should instead analyze the deleted scene in which Loki is locked in a portapotty while men repeatedly urinate on him until Thor arrives to let him out. The fact that this was an idea someone had to begin with is gross. The fact that they came close enough to using it that it was actually filmed is downright shameful. Every single person at Marvel involved in approving this trash should commit seppuku in penance.

Ignoring the sexual assault implications here... I mean, this is literally toilet humour. Literally. What are we, five years old? Who the hell actually finds this funny?

"I keep a watch list of individuals and beings from other realms that may be a threat to this world." - Doctor Strange, Thor: Ragnarok

So how did you miss the huge, purple nutsack wreaking havoc across the cosmos? I mean, no offense. I'm just saying.

Now we have the culmination of Odin's A+ parenting. He's at the end of his life just because he feels like it, I guess, so now it's time to pretend he gives a damn about Loki for a few seconds again. One "I love you" without even looking at him is supposed to make a millennium of emotional abuse and neglect all better or something. Even in his death, Odin can't seem to stop screwing with Loki's mind. What a charming man, I'll sure miss him.

Oh, but before he's on his way, he has a teensy weensy confession to make. Remember when he lied to you about your entire existence, Loki? LOL! He lied to Thor about being the firstborn too! And now the evil sister neither of you knew you had is coming to destroy everything and he's given you no time to plan how to stop her! Don't you feel much better now?

It's been about five minutes since we were reminded that Loki is a coward and an idiot or something, so contrary to Tom Hiddleston's own words that

"The thing with Loki is that, if he’s afraid, he won’t show it. He’s been highly trained, through the experience of his slightly traumatic life, to shield his fears."

it became necessary for Loki to immediately panic and lead Hela straight to the one place he knows she'll be most powerful. Whoops!

The Warriors 3 are quickly dispatched by Hela because it's important we remember that the first two Thor movies were trash and nothing that ever happened in them has any meaning. By the way, Heimdall is Thor's new BFF now and Thor will never mention his former friends ever again. Ever. Like, even in passing. Like they never existed. Those people who committed literal treason for him both before and after he was banished in Thor (2011). And then again in The Dark World. Those friends.

Meanwhile, Thor and Loki have both landed on a planet called Sakaar. It's a giant trash heap and that about sums up how I feel about this whole damn movie, so credit to TW for the symbolism, I suppose. Here's possibly the most cringeworthy moment in the whole debacle—and that's a very high bar. Or low, I guess, depending on how you look at life.

He's a Norse god... screaming, "oh my god!" I don't have enough hands for all the facepalming I feel like doing right now.

Anyhow, Loki and Thor have arrived on Sakaar separately and Thor has just noticed Loki sitting across the room, casually joking about his own suicide attempt. Because there's nothing funnier than suicide, amirite?! Especially when you still haven't sorted through any of the complex issues that led you to become suicidal to begin with. Who cares? We're just here for the lulz, yeah?

"Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Korg, I'm the director's annoying self-insert, and I'll be pissing on every poignant moment from here on out because reflection is for nerds. You just need to smile more."

Hey, remember that time in The Dark World where Loki was stuck in solitary confinement for a year and Thor didn't come to visit him even once? Now Thor is the one locked up and Loki has come to visit him almost immediately. To offer his help. To try to relate. Maybe mourn the loss of... everything together. But Thor's not interested in relating. He's interested in scapegoating Loki, because that's what this family does.

"What would you like me to say? You faked your own death, you stole the throne, stripped Odin of his power, stranded him on Earth to die, releasing the Goddess of Death.” - Thor, Thor: Ragnarok

To borrow a phrase from the late Luke Skywalker, "Amazing. Every word of what you just said is wrong."

► Loki has never faked his death. What he did is fail to die on Svartalfheim, through no fault of his own. It seems a little insane I have to defend Loki's right to not die, but here we are, I guess.

"We planned to have Loki have a redemptive death[...]We think he's wounded, but it wasn't a death blow." - Kevin Feige, The Dark World DVD extras

"Loki probably in his heart wants to be worthy, and the way he achieves his redemption—his salvation—is to ultimately sacrifice himself, for Thor and for Jane. I hope it’s a very cathartic and moving moment, by saving his brother’s life and avenging his mother’s death." - Tom Hiddleston, The Dark World DVD extras

The worst that can be said of Loki's "betrayal" of Thor at the end of The Dark World is that he failed to inform him that he had survived. And Loki had very good reasons to do so. What had Thor offered him in exchange for his help with the Dark Elves? He would return him to his cell to live out the rest of his days in complete isolation—a fate that I will just reiterate is classified as a form of psychological torture.

► Loki didn't steal the throne. As mentioned above, he offered Thor the throne. Thor said no.

► There is zero evidence beyond Thor's own assumptions that Loki stripped Odin of his powers. We are meant to believe this only because we are told that it is so. On the contrary: "It took me some time to break free of your spell," Odin tells Loki before his death. But if Odin had been stripped of his power, how then did he eventually break free? Upon examination, Thor's logic fails.

► Loki did not "strand Odin on Earth to die". He left him in a freaking retirement home where he had every expectation that Odin would be well-cared for. An argument can certainly be made that after everything Odin has done to Loki in the past, Loki was downright merciful not to kill the old man in his sleep and be done with it.

► Loki had no way of even knowing Hela existed. How is her release his fault and not, say, Odin's for dealing with all his problem children by tossing them out and throwing away the key? Or for not preparing his sons for the day they would be forced to face her?

Oh well. Now it's time for Loki Is A Coward™, Part Deux, because as I may have mentioned previously:

"The thing with Loki is that, if he’s afraid, he won’t show it. He’s been highly trained, through the experience of his slightly traumatic life, to shield his fears." - Tom Hiddleston

MINOR ENDGAME SPOILER:

Reminder also that this was Loki's reaction to the Hulk in Endgame, only minutes after being beaten to a pulp by him

Doesn't seem particularly frightened, but what do I know?

Hey, remember back in Thor (2011) when this happened? If the Valkyrie were already legend, why did Sif need to prove herself as a female warrior?

Shhh. You were supposed to forget about that minor detail. Now back to the butt jokes.

Now let’s take a short intermission, shall we? Because this movie blows so hard that if I put all my criticisms in one post, it’ll probably break Tumblr.

↩️ back to the compendium

#the big damn ragnarok sucks compendium #ragnarok cinematic universe #taika waititi is a piece of shit ask me how #loki #thor #odin's a+ parenting #loki meta #thor meta #not my thor #mcu

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golden-deer-dear · 4 years

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Pray at Your Altar 1/4, Claude x Byleth Arranged Marriage AU

Summary: When a marriage proposal is answered with the death of the messenger, Claude is sent on a mission to deliver Almyra's revenge. But first, he is going to find out just what the all powerful Archbishop wants from the strange woman he was supposed to marry.The secret revolving around Byleth is something Claude can't leave alone.

Notes: So, I lost 30 pages of outline and world building for History on Repeat. I'm working on trying to recover the doc, but I'm just really blah about touching it. Apparently I'm dealing with it by writing another multi chapter fic, although this one will be much shorter. I love arranged marriage aus where the couple basically falls in love while also developing into a power couple, and it's honestly really surprising to me that I haven't tackled this idea yet for claudeleth.

AO3

Pray at Your Altar

Claude stared at the severed head, the mutilated and decaying features barely recognizable as the messenger sent across the border a month ago. Congealed blood stained the silver tray so lovely provided to charter the grisly object back to its homeland. Whatever had become of the rest of the body, they were left in the dark.

The entire court was in an uproar, their shouts echoing off marble walls. The only people not screaming in outrage were himself and his parents. Queen Odette’s fury was clear on her face, her cheeks blushed hot with rage. Her fingers clutched the arm of her husband’s throne in a white knuckled grip.

Where his wife burned hot, King Mahtab was freezing cold. He stared at the head with the same calculation as his son, but where Claude seemed curious, Mahtab was decisive.

One brave, or perhaps stupid, courtier stepped forward, his voice rising above the others. “It was a mistake to think the Fódlani above any other barbaric actions! The Archbishop has reacted to a simple marriage request with an act of war!”

The yells overtook him once more, the crowd engulfing him as he stepped back. But when Mahtab stood, the room went eerily silent at a whiplash pace. It was as if every single one of them forgot to breathe as they awaited their king’s words.

Mahtab descended half way down the dais that left him towering above the court, coming to a stop one step behind Claude. “We will not go to war.” Mahtab held up a hand, holding back the tide of anger that was practically palpable at his words. “But that does not mean we will let such an insult pass. This mission -” Mahtab paused, a heavy hand dropping to Claude’s shoulder, “- will fall to my son. We will use this opportunity to see if he possesses the strength to defend the throne.”

Claude was not sure what his father was planning, but he was not about to fail at something so important. If he succeeded now, he might very well gain the influence he needed to achieve his dreams.

Almost two years had passed since Claude had come to Fódlan. He had been at Garreg Mach Monastery for almost a full month, narrowly avoided losing his life only three days ago to bandits, and had yet to see the woman who had caused this whole mess in the first place.

Well, that wasn’t entirely fair he supposed. As far as he knew, this supposed goddess reborn might not even know what had been done in her name. He doubted that, but as he had barely any data to go on, it was not a conclusion he could yet rule out. Rhea’s word obviously had way more influence than was healthy over these people, especially since the death of King Lambert. She held so much sway over the people of Fódlan it disgusted him. There was blame on both sides of the border for the current hostilities, the hatred that had them both distrusting outsiders, but Rhea seemed to be someone determined to keep the system in place on this side. Doing so would certainly leave her influence securely in place.

The Church’s influence was the entire reason the marriage proposal had gone to this Byleth instead of the Adrestian Princess. And after meeting Edelgard, Claude mentally let loose a sigh of relief. It was no insult to her, Edelgard was a smart and passionate woman, but Claude was certain he would drive her insane. And then her ever present shadow would find some unpleasant way to dispose of him. Claude was glad he had successfully dodged that fate without much effort on his part.

Still, he wanted to meet this mysterious woman his father had attempted to marry him off to. As far as he could tell, she only came out of seclusion for one or two religious ceremonies a year. Otherwise it was deemed too dangerous for Byleth to make an appearance. Not that Rhea phrased it that way, but Claude read between the lines of the lies that fell from her mouth.

Which was why he was so surprised when Rhea summoned the three house leaders to the audience chamber, and standing beside the Archbishop was a young woman. Despite never seeing her before, Claude knew immediately they were in the presence of the goddess reborn. Edelgard and Dimitri had come to the same conclusion as him, if the open shock on their faces was anything to go by. He should purpose a poker game with them; they would be terrible at it.

Byleth certainly was beautiful. She was decorated in golden ornaments that tinkled softly when she moved. And that dress! Claude did his best not to make his stare obvious, but the cut of her blue dress emphasized Byleth’s alluring figure. But her expression was so blank Claude could not even begin to guess what she was thinking.

“Welcome,” Rhea greeted in her warm voice, a serene smile on her lips. “I know this is unexpected, but as we have never had all three heirs studying with us at the same time, I thought it would be prudent to introduce you all. I can tell by your faces that you have already guessed who this lovely young woman is beside me. Edelgard. Dimitri. Claude.” Rhea paused between each of their names, waiting for their nods of acknowledgement before continuing on. “This is Byleth, the reincarnation of the progenitor god.”

As Rhea turned to Byleth, Claude was caught off guard by the look of...was that greed? It was a fondness that seemed born of knowing Rhea would be rewarded with whatever it was she wanted from the young woman at some point soon. It was so obvious on the Archbishop’s normally guarded features, that Claude felt his skin crawl.

Byleth nodded her own greeting, not saying anything. That blank look was so foreign, Claude could understand why those who had seen her would believe there was something inhuman about the woman. But that blank look, for some reason it made him angry.

What had Rhea done to cause such an effect on Byleth?

Claude received his second shock of the day as he made a nightly stroll around the grounds, dodging the knights on patrol that would lecture him about being out so late. He caught a flash of gold and blue as he circled toward the cathedral.

Looking over a stone railing, Claude saw Byleth standing before a grave. Well, this was certainly a chance Claude was not about to pass up.

“I didn’t think Rhea let you out for strolls.” Claude knew that while his tone was casual, his words were perhaps a bit too malicious. Still, he wanted to see her reaction.

Byleth flinched at the unexpected interruption. He thought he saw her eyes widen for a split second, but in the dark Claude could not be sure. “She doesn’t,” Byleth answered back, her voice even and unconcerned.

Huh. That alone was worth the outing. He had begun to suspect that Rhea had more control over Byleth than he previously thought, and he could very well gain more confirmation if he kept poking. And maybe he would even find out something about Byleth herself. The woman intrigued him. He had not stopped thinking about her since their meeting that morning. Claude wanted so much to unravel her secrets.

Claude flashed her a winning smile, one she seemed to study and pick apart, her eyes narrowingly ever so slightly before easing back to her blank expression. “So, the goddess’ reincarnation has a rebellious streak? Wouldn’t have guessed. But why come to the cemetery?”

“To visit my parents,” Byleth answered easily. She was so straightforward with her answers it was throwing Claude off. He expected to have to pick apart her words to uncover what she truly meant like he was having to do with Rhea. “They both died when I was a baby, but it...it feels right to come visit them.”

“I’m sorry,” Claude said, not hiding his sincerity. He had honestly never even thought about her having parents, but somehow that obvious fact made her seem a bit more human.

Byleth shook her head, the tassels of her crown brushing against the tips of her ears. Those intense eyes refocused back to the gravestone. “I don’t remember them. My mother died giving birth to me. A few months later there was a fire in the nursery where I was. My father was caught in the blaze, but Rhea just managed to save me.”

Yeah, Claude wasn’t buying that. He highly doubted that was all there was to that story. However, before he could think of something to say, both their heads snapped up, bodies tense at the sound of approaching footsteps. They moved together as one, slipping into the shadows cast by the staircase down into the graveyard and huddling together.

Seteth’s voice hissed above them, directing knights in their search. Claude knew it was not for his benefit. They pressed against each other, trying to take up as little space as possible, barely breathing until the torchlight passed overhead. It was only when it was once more dark, Claude’s view illuminated only by the half full moon, and the sound of footsteps had retreated, that the two of them dared to move. Claude dropped his arms, only now realizing they had been wrapped around Byleth to hold her close.

Byleth’s hand lingered on his, seeming to study the feel of it against her own. Claude felt heat on his cheeks, and knew his face was bright red. Not for the first time that night he was grateful for the darkness that surrounded them. He knew Byleth was still studying him, but her reactions were so minimal he could not even begin to guess what she was thinking.

“I do not know when the next time Rhea will be distracted, but I usually go to the Goddess Tower. They never find me there.”

Claude nodded, another smile flashing across his lips. “I’ll have to check it out sometime. Perhaps I’ll see you there.”

Claude could not help but feel pride swell in his chest as he caught the barest hint of amusement in her answering tone, so subtle he never would have caught it if he was not trying to pick apart every piece of her.

“Perhaps.”

After two long years, he was finally making headway with his mission.

#fire emblem #fire emblem three houses #claudeth #claude x byleth #claudeleth #my fic #pray at your altar #fanfic

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hermitologist · 4 years

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My 20 Favorite Records of 2019

Lists! Everyone loves them. Here’s another one.

These are the records I liked the most this year. That doesn’t mean they’re the *best*, that means I liked them. You might not. That’s fine! You might be livid that Porpoise Corpse’s neo-classical folk prog double LP isn’t on my list because it’s an easy top 5 record for you, but maybe electric mandolin solos, blast beats, and harpsichord runs aren’t my thing. That’s fine too! It’s infinitely cooler and far more productive to let people enjoy the art they enjoy rather than wasting precious minutes of your life trying to convince the entire internet to have the exact same taste in music.

That said ...

This years list is chock full of the usual, if you’re familiar with my taste at all -- tons of super heavy bummer jams, a handful of Radiohead-adjacent mid-tempo rock of the indie or emo variety, some hearty post-rock, some tried-and-true vets doing the thing they do very well ... again, and a few outliers. The honorable mentions list gets considerably more eclectic if you’re looking for stuff that sounds less like a soundtrack to various stages of the apocalypse.

As always, I welcome your suggestions for records and podcasts I might’ve missed the boat on. There’s way too much good stuff out there to keep up with, so PLEASE help me out.

Also: When I am not being a lazy pile of crap, I try to haul my dadbod around town for a run a few days a week and will listen to/briefly review a record in the process. Almost every record on this list has been a part of one of those posts, so if you’re interested in such a thing, please check out my Instagram.

BONUS: I put together a playlist on Spotify of my favorite song from each of my top 20 records, and a separate one for the 51 other records I liked this year, so if you’re overwhelmed and don’t know where to start, just needle drop a little and see if anything grabs you. And if anyone’s feeling productive and has time to do an Apple Music playlist, I’ll link and credit you.

Top 20 Spotify Playlist

Top 20 Apple Music Playlist -- Thanks, Austin!

Other Faves Spotify Playlist

But before we get to the Top 20, a couple of records that deserve a nod ...

Record I Listened To The Most In 2019 Whether I Wanted To Or Not

Angel Du$t - Pretty Buff

This is my four-year-old son’s favorite record, and while I’m trying to round out his musical palate by throwing on all sorts of different bands while we’re hanging out, he insists on either “no music” or “The Basketball Song” (which is “Big Ass Love”). I have no idea how or why his little amazingly weird brain equates the song with basketball (a sport he doesn’t really play or watch or think about ever, to my knowledge), but it does. He LOVES IT. I’ve got to admit, I didn't care for the song all that much when I first heard it, but it’s an earworm, and some 3000 plays later, I love it, and I love the record. Funny how that works out.

Record That Came out in 2009, But I Didn’t Discover Until 2019

Self-Evident - Endings

Endings was neck-and-neck with my favorite record of 2019 for spins this year. Coincidentally, the it was recommended by someone from the band who made my #1 record, and it has moments where it sounds a whole hell of a lot like my #1 record. Blows my mind that a band that was/is so incredibly in my wheelhouse sonically, that has released nine LPs over an 18 year career, and operates in circles incredibly close to a ton of bands I love and respect and nerd out about music with somehow managed to elude me for the better part of two decades. At any rate I’m incredibly stoked to have finally found them, absolutely love them, and honestly might’ve listened to this LP 20 times in a matter of a few days when I got my first taste. It’s that good.

And now for the list ...

20) Remote Viewing - It’s Better This Way

Super nasty, dark, sludgy, well-crafted noise rock out of London that fits somewhere in between KEN Mode and early-Kowloon Walled City sonically. You’d think it was pretty crazy to have a band be so locked in and fully formed as early as LP2, but then you find out they’re ex-members of Palehorse, Million Dead, and I Want You Dead and it all kinda makes sense. Unfortunately, the song on the playlist is from a previous LP (because the new one is inexplicably not on Spotify), but you can and should get the new record on Bandcamp.

19) From Indian Lakes - Dimly Lit

I’ve been a big fan of FIL for years, but have always been at a bit of a loss when it comes time to describe them. It’s hazy and dreamy, but not quite shoegazey ... it’s insanely infectious and pleasing to the ear, but not really poppy ... it’s forward-thinking and experimental, but not quite art-rock or groggy at all. It’s just excellent. Full stop. If you dig anything from Tycho, to Radiohead, to The Cure, to Slowdive you’ll enjoy this.

18) Stray From The Path - Internal Atomics

Furious, mathy, riff-heavy hardcore from Long Island that sounds like a reformed Rage Against The Machine had spent the past two decades doing steroids, mainlining Red Bull, and studying the finer points of Moshology. The breakdowns are massive, the drumming absolutely mental, and the vocals pissed as hell. At my advanced age, it’s rare that a record makes me want to pit and/or try to deadlift cars, but this one’s got that magic.

17) Glassing - Spotted Horse

Mostly spazzy, occasionally dreamy, black-metal sprinkled post-hardcore that fits in very well with bands like Portrayal Of Guilt and Respire in the rebirth of traditional screamo. It’s fits and starts of chaos and beauty, and it all sounds and feels like it could completely go off the rails at any time which is what made bands like Orchid and Majority Rule and Saetia so great back in the day.

16) La Dispute - Panorama

It’s no secret that I’m a big La Dispute fan (Thrice has toured the US with them twice in the past decade), and I love all of their records, but I’m pretty sure I can say with full confidence that this is the best record they’ve ever made. Everything is firing at peak performance, and the way the record is arranged and sequenced makes it feel more like a film score than a collection of songs. It’s a complete work -- meant to be listened to as such, which is a daunting artistic task, but they pulled it off in grand fashion.

15) Russian Circles - Blood Year

This band has been in the upper echelon of post-rock bands for as long as I can remember, and Blood Year is another incredible addition to their already stellar discography. These guys are all absolute monsters at their given instruments, and one of the best live rock bands on the planet, so getting to hear them do their thing on a record that manages to actually capture that live energy and ambience really does the trick for me.

14) Greet Death - New Hell

This one kinda came outta nowhere for me, as I (ashamedly) was not familiar with them prior to giving New Hell a spin. It blew me away. I’m a total sucker for bummer jams, and this record is full of top-quality sludgy, sad, shoegazey goodness. If you dig Cloakroom, O’ Brother, or Pianos Become The Teeth this is gonna be right up your alley.

13) Sleep Token - Sundowning

Another record that came out of nowhere to knock me on my ass. I downloaded it before a transatlantic flight on a whim (after hearing about 30 seconds of the opening track), hoping that it would be a nice, mellow companion to ease my in-flight anxiety. And it was, but whoa was it so much more than that. It kinda sounds like a collab between Active Child and Deftones -- poppy, melancholic piano ballads, brought to crushing crescendos via super heavy drop-tuned sludge -- which sounds like a mess, but it works so well. It’s a killer record and probably would’ve landed higher on this year’s list if it hadn’t come out so late in the year.

12) Big Thief - UFOF

This one’s a bit of an outlier, and a damn good one at that. I came across UFOF via a friend’s recommendation before the hype train had left the station, and honestly didn’t know what to expect. Said recommendation simply said that it was good and infectious and probably a few other things that I can’t recall, but didn’t mention the folk thing (which is great because I probably would have passed). The friend was right. It’s good (maybe even great), incredibly infectious, and gave me a nice reprieve from the heavy stuff I tend to listen to on the regular.

11) Cave In - Final Transmission

I’m beyond thankful we got any new music from Cave In after Caleb passed. They owed us nothing, and had every right to walk away, but managed to rally to release a killer record that is heavy both sonically and conceptually, and still manages to give me chills despite being live demos recorded in a rehearsal room. There are few bands on the planet who’ve inspired me like Cave In have, and seeing them pull together to grieve and forge ahead to continue to build their legacy is even more inspiring. What a band.

10) Pedro The Lion - Phoenix

My favorite singer/songwriter of my generation decided to revive the project that made me a fan of his in the first place. That project put out a record for the first time in 15 years, and I had unreasonably high expectations for it. Phoenix delivered and then some. I remember sitting at my kitchen table, weeping into my cup of coffee the first time I heard Phoenix, the same way Control used to make it seem like the inside of the Thrice van was getting a little dusty during cross-country drives back in the early 00s. It blows my mind that David Bazan can be such a prolific artist, write such insanely powerful music, and seem incapable of writing a dud song.

9) Coilguns - Watchwinders

This Swiss noise-rock band kicks unbelievable amounts of ass. Their Millenials LP made my favorites list last year, and when I heard they had a follow up coming out a little over a year later, my gut reaction was to worry they’d blow it with a new record that was either rushed and/or half-assed, or lose the plot and take a hard left turn and make something markedly un-Coilguns. They did neither. The made an absolute monster of an album, that was apparently written in the studio, and is full of live energy in rawness that is pretty tough to capture in a sterile atmosphere like a studio. Watchwinders dropped in late October, and if I’d had a bit more time with it, I could see it moving up to my Top 5. It’s that good. I find myself going back to it constantly.

8) Blessed - Salt

This record kinda defies description, but it reminds me of everything from Pile to Menomena to Interpol to La Dispute to Devo at times. As scatterbrained and incongruent as that might sound, I assure you it rules. It was in verrrry heavy rotation this year -- mostly for the utterly filthy drum groove on the final track. If you like your music catchy, but slathered in weird, this is definitely gonna do the thing for you. It’s an incredible record.

7) Herod - Sombre Dessein

I hadn’t heard of this band before they popped up on a Spotify playlist early this year, and when “Reckoning” hit, it absolutely flattened me. You know that nuclear apocalypse scene from Terminator 2? That’s what “Reckoning” did to me. It was undoubtedly my favorite ultra-heavy track of the year, and while it’s my favorite song on the record by a pretty large margin, the rest of Sombre Dessein kicks ass too. It’s 42 minutes of crushing heaviness that kinda sounds like a blend of Cult Of Luna, Meshuggah, and Gojira. Heavy. Pissed. Unrelenting. And Outstanding.

6) Pile - Green & Grey

Every time I try to describe Pile to someone I fail. On Wikipedia they’re described as “indie rock”, which ... sure, I suppose? There’s a little post-punk in there, a little post-rock, a little noise-rock, nods to classic rock (maybe?), a little of that southern magic that made Colour Revolt so great (but Pile’s from Boston so hmm ... ), some country even? Do you like weird guitars? Freakish musicians? Melancholic crooning? I dunno. It’s all over the place, but in the best ways possible. They’re a singular band, and so damn good. Green & Grey is stellar addition to a discography that is already full of incredible music ... even if the album cover gives makes me want to fold those blankets and put them away.

5) PUP - Morbid Stuff

Was this the year that PUP broke? Definitely seems like it, and rightfully so. Morbid Stuff is my favorite thing they’ve ever done, but I’ve absolutely loved everything they’ve ever put out, so that’s saying a lot. Per usual, it’s insanely infectious and anthemic without being traditionally poppy or relying on tropes to burrow into your skull and take up residence there. It’s uplifting musically, but kinda depressing lyrically, which does this weird push/pull thing in my brain that makes it impossible to stop listening to. The musicianship is fantastic, the guitar parts especially -- like the guitar line in “Scorpion Hill” wow. I really needed a record to fill the gaping void between the metal/sludge/noise and the ambient/downtempo electronica I listened to this year, and Morbid Stuff fit the bill perfectly.

4) Cult Of Luna - A Dawn To Fear

These guys belong on the Mount Rushmore of Post-Rock/Metal with Neurosis and Isis. Nobody has done it better than them over the past two decades, and A Dawn To Fear is arguably their best work to date. It, like any Cult Of Luna requires a great deal of patience, but man if they don’t make the wait worth it. They’re the masters of the slow build to an absolutely crushing climax, the dynamic shifts that leave you feeling like you got hit by a freight train, the nuanced instrumentation that tells a different story each time you listen to a certain section of a song. They’re absolute masters at their craft, and this record is them at their peak.

3) Big|Brave - A Gaze Among Them

Another record that came out of nowhere to completely floor me. I hadn’t heard a single note from this band until a friend recommended I check out the opening track, “Muted Shifting Of Space”. I did ... and that plodding drum and bass pulse with dark, swirling, ethereal guitar swells/feedback and soaring vocals building into a huge release of sludgy, drop-tuned goodness checked off all the boxes for me. I was hooked. The atmosphere and dynamics Big|Brave have built their sound around give every song a cinematic feel -- if you close your eyes, can you see drone footage of landscapes too? . If you dig post-rock/metal that is experimental around the edges, moody, absurdly heavy, and has both feet firmly planted in sludge, this is a must-have record.

2) Cloudkicker - Unending

If you’ve been following me on social media or reading these year-end lists for a while you’re probably pretty familiar with Cloudkicker by now because any time we get new music I can’t shut up about it and the record invariably ends up on this list. This instance is no different. Unending is the first LP we’ve gotten from Ben Sharp in four years, and it’s worth the wait and then some. He’s managed to pull from every era of CK and turn it into a masterpiece mash-up of styles without it ever feeling rehashed or uninspired. I’d go far as to say this tops Beacons and Fade for me, and comes awfully close to challenging Subsume for my favorite Cloudkicker record of all time and space. There’s soooo much progressive and djenty masturbatory metal garbage floating in the ether right now. Hearing the one of the kings do the damn thing properly is incredibly refreshing.

1) Town Portal - Of Violence

No surprise here. I’ve been crapping my pants about this band ever since my good friend Scott Evans shared their music with me a couple years ago. I’ve been unhealthily obsessed ever since. The magical progressive rock/metal these three guys are capable melts and massages my brain in a way few bands ever have. Of Violence is incredibly mathy without ever feeling awkward, it’s melodic without being conventional, it’s discordant without being abrasive, it’s heavy as shit without being overloaded with distortion, it’s progressive as hell without ever coming remotely close to devolving into a wankfest, and it’s damn near perfect in every way. Songwriting? Great. Tones? Phenomenal. Musicianship? Otherworldly. Execution? Flawless. Mix? Perfect. Replayability? (Not a word, but ... ) PUT THIS RECORD ON A GODDAMN LOOP AND NEVER TURN IT OFF. Can you tell I like it? You might too, so give it a listen. And if by chance you do not like it, please see a doctor. You’re broken.

OTHER STUFF I REALLY ENJOYED THIS YEAR

HEAVY JAMS

METZ - Automat

Buildings - Negative Sound

Helms Alee - Noctiluca

Minors - Abject Bodies

Periphery - Periphery 4: HAIL STAN

Employed To Serve - Eternal Forward Motion

Elizabeth Colour Wheel - Nocero

Defeater - S/T

Pelican - Nighttime Stories

Spotlights - Love And Decay

Great Falls - A Sense of Rest

Baroness - Gold & Grey

The End of the Ocean - -aire

Vous Autres - Champ du Sang

Brutus - Nest

Torche - Admission

Glose - The Second Best of Glose

Throes - In The Hands of an Angry God

Slipknot - We Are Not Your Kind

meth. - Mother of Red Light

SECT - Blood of the Beasts

Kublai Khan TX - Absolute

Seizures - Reverie of the Revolving Diamond

Dead Kiwis - Systematic Home Run

Norma Jean - All Hail

Refused - War Music

Chamber - Ripping / Pulling / Tearing

MIDRANGE JAMS

Jimmy Eat World - Surviving

Elbow - Giants of All Sizes

Raketkanon - RKTKN #3

Bad Religion - Age of Unreason

The Appleseed Cast - The Fleeting Light of Impermanence

DIIV - Deceiver

Idiot Pilot - Blue Blood

Microwave - Death Is A Warm Blanket

Low Dose - S/T

SWMRS - Berkeley’s On Fire

Self-Evident - Lost Inside The Machinery

B. Hamilton - Nothing and Nowhere

MELLOW JAMS

Trade Wind - Certain Freedoms

Square Peg Round Hole - Branches

Great Grandpa - Four of Arrows

Local Natives - Violet Street

Rhone - Leaving State

Shlohmo - The End

Tycho - Weather

Bon Iver - i,i

Drowse - Light Mirror

Bonniesongs - Energetic Mind

Telefon Tel Aviv - Dreams Are Not Enough

GoGo Penguin - Ocean In A Drop

Bent Knee - You Know What They Mean

THE PODCAST QUEUE

The Deadcast (RIP) - sports, culture

Chapo Trap House - politics

The Rich Roll Podcast - health, wellness, endurance sports

Hang Up & Listen - sports

Effectively Wild - baseball

The Gist - current events

The Downbeat - drums, humor

To Live & Die In LA - true crime

FilmDrunk Frotcast - movies, culture, humor

The Modern Drummer Podcast with Mike & Mike - drums (duh)

The Trap Set - also drums

Song Exploder - songwriting

#music #AOTY #endoftheyearlist #topalbums

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phantomphangphucker · 5 years

Text

Fenton Is That Broken Character

If we’re honest, Danny is insanely OP

“What you up to dad?”, Jack looks up as his son walks in the front door. He still can’t help but marvel at how he’s turned out. Sure education and lifestyle wise he was definitely lacking, but he had a presence. Taller than Jack now and muscular, but still clearly a kind soul. Even if he seemed determined to never have a job or leave home at this point. But there could always be hunting in his future, pretty lucrative thing nowadays. Plus, Jack enjoyed still having him around and he did seem happy. Even if he was aloof and paranoid, but Jack knew that was partly because Amity warranted being cautious and his son was extremely unusual.

Tapping on some papers, “finishing up that ghost ordering system. Think I’ve finally got all the appropriate classes down pat. Care to give your old man a unique view?”. Danny chuckles as he nods. Jack’s glad his son has opened up more to theories, still clearly hates pretty much every invention for some reason though.

“The one through six classing is still pretty well the same but I’ve settled on the different related power levels. Though honestly, I hope no level thirties actually exist”, tapping on the paper.

Classes:

1: non-threat - ignorable (1-3)

2: pseudo-threat - should be captured but no hurry. (4, 5)

3: mild threat - capture immediately, potential danger. (6)

4: threat - break out the anti-ghost gear, deal with quickly. Engage with extreme caution. (7-15)

5: major threat - bring out specialty weapons and only engage if absolutely necessary. (16-19)

6: WARNING: apocalyptic threat - do not engage, run. (20+)

“Now I know the GIW rated Phantom at seven, six years ago, but I doubt he’s still a seven now. Blob ghosts are always three or less and I’ll be disappointed if the Box Ghost is higher than a 5”, Jack and Danny both snicker, clearly agreeing. Danny taps on class 6, “and I’d say Mr. Floaty face was 6 for sure”.

The two spend around an hour throwing out random ghosts and placing most of them. Jack chuckles, “honestly, not even going to really try to place Phantom for sure. We know for sure he was at least a four near when he first popped up. Clearly stronger than he used to be so I really wouldn’t be surprised if he’s a five now”. Danny nods and Jack’s quite pleased with himself over that. His son always seems to just know things when it comes to ghosts. Fenton genius he’s sure.

“I’d say at least five, likely close to six or a six. He’s stronger than he’s given credit for, I think. Basically a walking broken enigma”

“Part of me hopes you’re wrong but if I’d want any ghost to be so powerful, it’d be Phantom”, Jack really is glad for coming to a truce with the spook years ago. Smiling as he catches Danny’s soft smile and what almost seems like a blush? This is his favourite aspect of the Phantom truce, that it clearly makes his son very happy, which makes Jack happy. Even if he doesn’t get why his son can be so ghost friendly, even his opinion of flat out dangerous ghosts are somewhat fond, oddly.

Jack’s sitting at the table when he can’t help but ponder about how his son seems to set off ghost stuff all the time. Wondering if maybe, Danny might just have a self-sustaining ectoplasmic field, like a ghost, as a result of his accident; rather than just oddly prolonged ectoplasmic contamination. Because no way should he still be contaminated from the accident after six years. After all, he was pretty much shocked by the entirety of the zone, even if he clearly downplays it.

But Jack’s not really worried about this because if it caused Danny issues he would have said something, right? Plus, Jack is pretty much sure his son can sense ghosts, which he’s actually a little glad for and he’ll admit to feeling a little guilty over once or twice using him to tell if there was a ghost nearby, because of his sons' reaction. Yes, he noticed the fogging breath and how Danny would instantly start looking around for the ghost/becoming more aware. Kind of hard to not notice. So really his son is like a walking ghost senor, and how cool is that? Jack will never have to worry about some foul ecto-scum sneaking up on his son, and imagine how useful that’ll be when he becomes a hunter! He is a Fenton after all, ghost hunting is just what Fentons’ do.

So as Jack watched his son eat cereal, Jack covertly turns on the device he’s been fiddling with. He’s honestly surprised it’s taken him so long to sit down and build something to rank and class a particular ghosts power and threat levels. Not surprised in the slightest that it senses Danny as an ectoplasmic entity. So Jack selects his son on screen, fully expecting a reading of 1 or 2, and after a few seconds, the thing starts smoking and explodes.

Jack blinks only slightly shocked as Danny jumps a bit, from the explosion. Danny barely misses a beat before chuckling, “another prototype bites the dust huh?”. Jack’s not quite sure why his son blinks a bit and pulls a face before speaking again, “uh, so what’s this one supposed to do? Gots a weird vibe to it”.

Jack’s face lights up a bit, always eager to talk ghosts or explain some new invention, “Well son! It’s supposed to read ghosts power levels and how to best handle them! If we’ve finally settled on rankings, only makes sense to find a more definitive way to do the rankings”. Danny rubs his neck a bit sheepishly, but smiles playfully, “and let me guess, like usual, I set it off or something”. Jack taps on one of the burnt pieces that aren’t on the floor, “which is very strange son but yes. I wouldn’t worry though! Even though it definitely read you as having an ecto-field, looks like it was attempting to put out a reading too! I’m guessing that caused an error, malfunctioned. Seeing as you’re not actually a ghost”.

Jack watches his son chuckle heartily as he puts away his dishes, “well sorry about the tech dad, and yeah nothing to worry about. I may be weird, but I’m perfectly fine”. Jack can tell he means it as he watches his son head out the door.

Groaning a little and staring sadly at the burnt pieces as he starts cleaning up the mess. “Oh?”, Jack feels almost giddy when he finds the heavily smashed screen, as he sees that it actually did manage to get a reading on his son. Wiping it off, Jack’s face squints in confusion as he reads the results:

“PL: subdued: overload”

“Class: error”

“Title: ghost king”

“Okay? The subdued section is perfectly expected. After all Danny-boy isn’t a ghost so he wouldn’t have access to his ectoplasmic field. Even if he really shouldn’t have one at all”, shaking his head at the screen, “but overload? That makes no sense? He’d have to be over 15 and even for an actual ghost that is incredibly high”. Jack claps his hands together as an idea hits him, “maybe it’s because he’s not a ghost, so this little guy really can’t get a proper reading at all! Maybe Danny’s field doesn’t even follow normal rules at all! That explains the error class too! Only way to know is to rule out the other option!”.

Jack smiles knowing full well he’s going to spend the day building a better version, or at least one that can sense higher levels. Shaking his head at the screen again, “and I’m just dismissing this whole “ghost king” title, only ghosts actually have titles so that’s obviously a malfunction”.

As Jack tinkers away, he can’t help but feel more worried than curious at this point, “if the strange readings were really because of a malfunction than “subdued” should have appeared messed up as well. Heck! All of it should have showed error or overload”.

Frowning a little as he hears the front door open, no doubt that’s his son. With Jazz away and Maddie at home all day, there really isn’t another person it could be. Rubbing at the smooth metal of the device as he puts on some finishing touches. Smacking it lightly in triumph as it turns on, “now this baby will certainly at least go up to level 30! Too bad it actually has to be touching a ghost field to work though”. Glancing at the stairs and shrugging, “well I’ll just have to ask Danny-boy, I’m sure he’d be curious”.

Jack heads up slowly after he hears Maddie leave, he knows how skittish his son can be and he doesn’t want him to feel ganged up on. Sticking his head out the lab door just in time to catch Danny heading to his room, “afternoon! Could you come to the living room with me?”. Noticing Danny looking a bit on edge near instantly, “you’re not in trouble son. Just some worries and theories I want to bounce off you”. Jack’s glad that seems to ease his son up a fair bit, but as he sits down Jack notices him tense a bit at the device. That’s a thing about his son that worries him, it’s almost like he’s cautious or mistrustful of all inventions.

“It’s an improved version of the one from this morning”, Jack wiggles it a bit only barely catching that Danny looks more, not less, uncomfortable. Sighing and facing his son, “I found the readout screen from the one this morning after you left. Definitely malfunctioned, weird readings, error messages, the works. But you clearly have an ecto-field, son. And you really really shouldn’t, so I’d like to test you again”. Jack can’t help but lower his voice more and more while speaking, as he noticed Danny looking more and more uncomfortable.

“Er, Whatever happened to that ecto-contamination theory? Field seems more unlikely”, Jack can tell by how his son is curled up a bit and moving his eyes around a lot, that he’s looking for a way out of this. Jack really doesn’t get why his son wouldn’t want whatever information they could get, maybe even figure out what exactly the problem is.

“Ecto-contamination can’t last for six years, so that theory went out the window. That leaves either a field or something undiscovered... Are you really so put off by our stuff that you’d rather not know?”, Jack can’t help but wince as Danny looks legitimately hurt and guilty over that last statement. He hadn’t meant to guilt trip him, he’s just worried and curious; but mostly worried now, “son, I don’t mean to push. It’s just, I’m worried. This is more than weird, I know it’s clear you’re not actively being harmed by whatever this is. But how can I be sure it’s not doing something long term, if no one even has a clue what’s going on?”. Now Danny just looks more worried and that was not the goal, so Jack just keeps talking, “I’m not very good at this “worried parent so please confide in me or test something” thing, I know. I’m not worried because this is strange, i just want to know you’re ok and just how much this has affected you. I know it’s not just setting off our stuff”. Jack blinks, a bit thrown off at how his son stiffens and stares at him, eyes clearly filled with paranoia. So Jack aims for soothing or at least compliments or something, “honestly the ghost sensor thing is downright neat. No clue how you can tell but it’s still cool. And so long as it doesn’t hurt you, then it is for sure cool”.

Jack mentally cheers as Danny does indeed seem slightly more relaxed as he responds, “how long? How long have you known about that? And um, thanks?”. Jack chuckles softly, “few years now, your breath would fog up for no obvious reason and you’d start looking around or leave the area. Then a ghost would show, hard to ignore pattern there, Danny-boy”. Jack watches, a little amused as Danny rubs his neck sheepishly. Poking Danny’s other hand as he speaks up again, “the other thing I’ve noticed is your skin is always cold. Way colder than anyone’s really should be, but you never seem cold so I assume it’s fine. Plus I imagine it makes dealing with hot weather a breeze!”.

“Er, opposite really. Hot weather sucks, cold weathers nice. But I’m fine, honest”. Jack can tell he means it but, “well I’m glad you feel fine, son. But how can we really be sure? Any bit of information really would help”. Jack taps on the device, hoping to get a yes this time.

Jack watches Danny’s eyes flick from him, to the device, and back to him, “so me being... a bit ghost-like is...cool?”. Jack really hadn’t thought of it as ghost-like but he guesses his son has a point there. Ecto-field, ghost detection, being cold; yeah those could all be seen as ghostie things. Jack nods at his son, “so long as this strangeness isn’t harming you, I don’t see how it wouldn’t be cool”.

Jack is almost startled at how Danny seems to near instantly and completely relax, even grinning rather wide as he sits up straight, “well I guess I can’t deny cool discoveries then”. Jack can’t help but be giddy even as Danny shuffles awkwardly, “how exactly does it work though?”.

“This one needs to actually be touching an ecto-field to work, sadly. But! Just touching it should work the same for you!”

“Sounds kind of like you could only check the willing then. Which kind of sounds like you made it with me in mind”, Jack can feel the suspicion in his sons' voice. Jack grins goofily though, “well of course, after that other one gave such a weird reading. I needed to know, more out of worry son. If you have an ecto-field, it should be really small and should have been easy for the previous one to read. But since that one only went halfway up the scale, the only way to really rule out the field theory is to use one that could get a reading on even the strongest of fields”. Jack feels quite satisfied with his explanation, even if Danny seems, of all things, bashful. Danny rubs his neck as he responds, “so what if I just have, like a strong one, what then?”.

“Then I guess you just do. Just more information to have and every bit helps! And who knows! Maybe a strong field might be keeping some ghosties away! Though it really should be impossible”, Jack’s not sure what about that was funny but he’s not going to complain as Danny nods and holds out his hand.

It only takes the machine a few seconds to work, though Jack has a feeling that his son can actually feel it checking him or something. Based on the odd facial expressions anyway, more worried that it might actually be hurting his son than reading the results, “it’s not hurting you is it?”.

“No, no I’m fine. Weird not painful or anything. Kind of like something is sucking on my skin, if that makes any sense”, Jack chuckles a bit, glad to know he’s not inadvertently harming Danny. He really does wonder if some of their stuff does. Shaking his head, he checks out the results:

PL: subdued: 23

⚠️Class: 6

Title: ghost king

Jack’s a bit too confused to notice Danny having a mild freak out and staring at the title section, “wow son, freaky strong it is. Again that should be impossible but I guess not”. Jack laughs a little, “that could probably actually scare a lot of ghosts! Fearing a Fenton as it should be!”. Tapping at the screen, “the rest makes zero sense though, again. Error made more sense than class six, especially with being subdued? And again with the title?”.

“Well couldn’t, couldn’t that just because of the power level thing?”, Jack shakes his head. Looking at his clearly a bit startled son, “that’s the main factor yes but to get the highest class you’d have to have more than just a strong field. Apocalypse level is just for those with insanely destructive powers, are near impossible for any human or ghost to defeat and more than likely can’t be caught or destroyed”.

Danny glances back at the screen as he responds, “so ridiculously overpowered, like a broken video game character”. Jack can’t help but laugh at that, “yes son, that’s a pretty fair comparison”. Shaking his head, “you must have some insane untapped potential or you have an ability that is very dangerous. Both are a bit concerning. The only other option is that you’re already extremely powerful and have a dangerous power. Which is just confusing”. Shaking his head more, “then there’s this title. You’re not even a ghost, how could you possibly be their king?”.

“Could you imagine though?”, Danny’s tone is a bit cautious sounding but that’s pretty common for him. Jack prefers when he’s joking around or even slacking off honestly, “well, I would prefer for their king to be someone like you. You’re a good man, son. And that would be kind of cool, utterly impossible but cool”. Jack taps his chin a bit, “maybe, because of the accident you're guaranteed to become a ghost and for some reason the king? That still sounds ridiculous”. Jack shakes his head while Danny talks a bit quietly, “if that happened, me becoming a ghost. What would you guys do?”.

Jack blinks at his son slowly, getting what he’s asking and yeah no way he could ever, “we’d support you, see what you remember. We could never hunt you son. Families family. I can’t say I’d even know how to react if you hurt someone, especially with how kind and gentle you are now. So, don’t worry about that”. Jack pats him on on the back affectionately to prove a point and judging by Danny’s loose smile, the point was indeed made.

Danny’s looking down at the living room table, “good. I’m glad to hear it”. Jack’s a little confused but glad his son is glad. Danny shifts a bit, “but yeah I do...have a dangerous power. Pretty well just destroys; buildings, vehicles, ghosts, people. I guess you could say I’m that character that gets banned from tournaments and winds up on Watch Mojo lists for most broken characters and most broken character powers”.

“That is dangerous for sure, I guess that explains that and while I’m curious, I’m not asking for a demonstration. But that means you’ve got a sure fire way to defend yourself, so long as that’s why you’d use it then it’s cool too”, Jack chuckles weakly at Danny’s shock. Smiling a bit at him, “you’re way too nice to be using something like that irresponsibly. Though I find it hard to believe that you can have such a strong ability without it hurting you”.

Danny runs a hand through his hair, “well it does leave me feeling weak and tired but otherwise fine. And it has kind of like a strength dail, never really used it close to full strength and I’d prefer to keep it that way”. Jack’s honestly impressed at this level of honesty and really, pretty much all of this is cleared up. Very weird and still no clue if this is really safe for his son but much less impossible, “sounds like you know yourself pretty well. I’m not going to push to know all you can do but I do want to know. This sure is one way to whip out a surprise trump card on some ghost!”. Jack can tell by Danny snickering that he’s surprised more than one or two ghosts before, which only makes him pleased. Pushing Danny lightly on the shoulder, “still worried about you though”.

Jack can practically feel the mischief in his son, as he talks while walking up to bed, “maybe you could see what sort of reading Phantom gives. He’s a friendly enough fellow, and I think the entire town knows he’s a completely broken video game character. You guys get along now and something tells me he won’t say no”.

End.

#danny phantom #phandom #dannymay #dannymay19 #danny fenton #jack fenton #broken #overpowered #in case you're wonder a broken character is an overpowered or game breaking one #phantomphangphucker #have a fic suck my dick

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klbwriting · 4 years

Text

Reborn Gods - Part 1 Zeus

Fandom: My own

Pairing: Zeus x OC

Warnings: none for this chapter, just shitty parenting

Request: My brain won’t stop

Summary: The Greek gods are not immortal. They are reborn when the old Gods start to expire and assume their position when their predecessor blesses them. The new Zeus however, doubts very much that his ‘father’ will ever bless him without a violent uprising that he doesn’t have in him. The pressures of living up to his father’s insane aspirations has him just shuffling through life with no reason to do anything or even try to find a way out of his loneliness. Then Dean shows up.

Notes: I’m going to go with this and also try to get back into taking requests again soon.

Zeus Rogers had been alive for nearly 30 years now and he was already tired of being Zeus reincarnated. He didn't know how many more years he had left but did they have to go like this? He lived in a mortal cities, for now it was New York, and he just slid through life, making as little waves as possible. Why bother? He could only live in a city for so long before he got bored and moved on anyway. There wasn't anything interesting for him, especially knowing that he would never live up to what the current Zeus wanted and well, having nothing to look forward too in life just weighed on Zeus's mind constantly. He sighed as he entered the high rise building, getting in the elevator and seeing someone new, which was odd considering that the elite of every city traveled in tight knit groups that weren't easily penetrated and this guy looked nothing like the normal social elite that lived in this tower. He hadn't meant to stare but the guy noticed, making him turn away blushing. "I guess I would stare too if I were one of the residents here," the guy said, cocking a pierced eyebrow at him. Zeus looked back at him, rubbing the back of his neck, feeling embarrassed. "Don't worry, I am just here to return Mr. Pearson's wallet. He left it in the back of the car I was driving him around in all day." Zeus nodded. "If you ever need a car please call us." The guy handed him a card and Zeus took it a little too quickly, noticing the guy smile a little. "Thank you, maybe I will call you," he said in reply. Suddenly the card was snatched from his hand and the guy was writing on it. "My name's Dean, and I uh, put my cell phone number on there in case you want to have me pick you up specifically," he said. Zeus blushed again but smiled. "Thanks, I think I'll call you" he said as the elevator stopped and Dean got off to head to the Pearson apartment. Zeus continued on up a few floors to the penthouse, tossing his coat on the hook inside the door and flipping the business card over in his fingers. He had never honestly wanted to call someone before. Never even thought of asking for a phone number after one of his escapades. Zeus had known for a long time that he was gay and that was just another thing on the list of reasons he should not be the next ruler of Mt Olympus. Hell just the thought of marrying the new Hera was terrifying, of having to be with someone he could never find attractive in the way they deserved just seemed wrong to him. But he knew he didn't have much of a choice so he would just enjoy himself for as long as he could and then do his duty when he had too. Sighing, he put the business card in a drawer and decided he shouldn't call. He shouldn't start anything with Dean, it wouldn't end well and he didn't want to hurt anyone if he could avoid it. At exactly 3 AM Zeus's phone rang and he groaned, waking up from a restless nights sleep, reaching, dropping, and then finally just rolling out of bed and onto the floor, answering the phone. "What dad?" he asked, voice foggy with sleep. He knew who was calling, he always called. Zeus Sr, the current king of the Gods, making Zeus call him dad just to exercise even more control over the younger God who would one day usurp him, hopefully violently and with a great duel where little Zeus would decapitate him in bloody glory. It made Zeus sick to his stomach. He hated the violence and fear that his 'father' ruled over Olympus with. "Junior, how was your day? Did you close that deal with Blackwater? Did you take them for all they're worth?" he asked, sounding drunk and jovially at the idea of his 'son' dominating in the boardroom and buying a company to use and abuse for power. Zeus Sr has suggested many times and that he should call Ares and ask him to join in the fun, they could both prove themselves at the same time and form a bond like the current Zeus and Ares had. "I didn't take the meeting sir, you know I turned them down months ago. I'm not going to buy a mercenary company and send them off for Ares to sow seeds of war with," he said, sitting up and leaning against the bed. Zeus Sr started to rant and rave about the disappointment Zeus Jr was turning out to be but Zeus tuned him out, his mind instead turning to the business card in the drawer in the kitchen and what he could possibly be talking to Dean about at 3AM instead of this tyrant. "How do you expect to get these heathen gods to follow you? How do you expect to keep that Hera bitch..." Zeus yelled, snapping him back to what was happening. "Don't call her that," he snapped, a fury in his voice that Zeus Sr liked. "Good, now use that anger and challenge me to the death!" the old God said, voice rumbling with anticipation. "No, when I feel like it I take your place, without killing you," he said, sighing deeply. He knew before the called ended tone happened that Zeus had hung up on him, and honestly, thank God he did because he was going to hangup himself and that would probably warrant a personal visit and he didn't want to deal with that at all. Zeus sat beside his bed until 6AM just thinking. Finally, he got up and walked to the kitchen, opened the drawer and dialed the number on the card.

#steve rogers #dean winchester #greek gods #steve rogers x dean winchester #not what you probably think #not in character

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giftofshewbread · 3 years

Text

Stand Up & Speak Out NOW!

Daymond Duck Published on: April 11, 2021

On Apr. 5, 2021, the Harbingers Daily staff posted an interview that Dr. Franklin Graham did with Tony Perkins, Pres. of Family Research Council.

The interview was really about a bill in Arkansas to ban gender transition and puberty blockers for minors that Gov. Asa Hutchinson vetoed.

Graham said America is in a free fall of moral decline and he does not believe America will turn around, but he does believe the Church can help slow it down.

Graham urged pastors and Church members to stand up and speak out.

Graham said, “The worst thing that could happen is for the Lord Jesus Christ to come back and find us sitting on our hands and keeping our mouths shut.”

https://harbingersdaily.com/franklin-graham-urges-christians-to-have-the-guts-to-stand/

The following current events indicate the need to stand up and speak out now because it will soon be too late.

One, concerning world government: on Mar. 30, 2021, 24 world leaders published an open letter in major publications around the world calling upon all nations on earth to unite, end nationalism (sovereignty of nations), and prevent future pandemics.

Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus, head of the World Health Organization (WHO), said, “The aims were clear: To bring countries together, to dispel the temptations of isolationism and nationalism. And to address the challenges that could only be achieved together in the spirit of solidarity and cooperation – namely peace, prosperity, health, and security.” (“peace” and “security” means “peace and safety”)

The letter was not signed by the heads of Russia, China, and the U.S., but leaders in those nations spoke positively about the effort.

A minority of leaders said a treaty to unite the nations and end nationalism will lead to a world government.

Two, also concerning world government: globalists have long wanted global taxes to fund their world government.

On Apr. 5, 2021, Janet Yellen, U.S. Treasury Sec., said she is working with the G20 nations (the world’s 20 major economies) to establish minimum global corporate tax rates.

Three, concerning persecution and government control of people: on Apr. 2, 2021, the Jewish News Service (JNS) published an interesting article by Ben Cohen.

According to Cohen:

People are losing their freedom all over planet Earth.

In 2020, freedom declined in nations that contain almost 75% of the world’s population.

Mass arrests, incarceration (denying the right to buy and sell), forced vaccinations, social distancing, surveillance, and the deliberate spread of disinformation (deceit) have increased worldwide.

The greatest human-rights crisis on earth is the refusal of leaders to protect the freedoms of their people.

Cohen’s Jewish News Service article about current events sounds very much like the Book of Revelation’s description of the coming world government of Antichrist.

Four, the growing loss of freedom is bad enough, but there is more to it than that.

On April 4, 2021, [email protected] posted an excellent article by Tom Mullen.

Mullen notes that under the guise of “keeping us safe”:

We have been told that “We must start planning for a permanent pandemic” (permanent social distancing, permanent use of masks, etc.).

We must plan for permanent restrictions on air travel, the use of gasoline-powered vehicles, eating meat, and more.

We must swap our freedoms for things that don’t work (use more windmills, more electric cars, etc.).

Simply put, the coming world government will bring permanent restrictions on lives, make life harder, and society will never recover.

Five, concerning pandemics: on Mar. 30, 2021, it was reported that a survey of 77 scientists in 28 nations said Covid is mutating, and the current vaccines could be ineffective in 12 months or less.

Vaccinated citizens will soon need to be vaccinated with different vaccines.

It is the opinion of this writer that the different vaccines, “vaccine passports,” etc., will keep changing and ultimately lead to Bill Gate’s “Quantum Dot Tattoo,” which is the final step toward the Mark of the Beast.

But before it gets to that, the Church will be “caught up.”

Six, also concerning pandemics: on Apr. 1, 2021, there were reports of “Vaccine Breakthrough” cases (people getting infected with Covid more than 14 days after they have had both shots) in Florida, Minnesota and Washington.

When officials say the vaccines are 95% effective, that means the vaccines might be ineffective in 5% of the people, and that is showing up (a very small percent has even died).

Some fully vaccinated people are getting Covid, and researchers are trying to determine if they are getting the original Covid-19 strain or a mutation.

Officials are also trying to determine if the fully vaccinated people that get Covid can spread it to other people because some have family members that have become infected.

Seven, on Apr. 5, 2021, it was reported that the New York State Senate has passed Assembly Bill A416 that will, if signed by Gov. Cuomo, allow government officials to remove New York citizens from their home and incarcerate them in government facilities (a medical facility or other appropriate facility, camp, jail, etc.) for the safety of the overall public, and for as long as the government sees fit.

Cuomo is expected to sign the bill, and there is concern that this will spread to other states.

Eight, on April 4, 2021, [email protected] posted an excellent article by Jeff Crouere titled “Passports to Hell.”

As I understand Crouere’s article:

The Biden administration is developing “vaccine passports” (proof of vaccination).

Millions of U.S. citizens are reluctant to be vaccinated for Covid.

Opting out of a vaccination for health reasons, religious reasons, side effects, etc., may not be allowed.

“Vaccine passports” will create two classes of U.S. citizens (the vaccinated and unvaccinated).

The unvaccinated will not be allowed to work, buy and sell (food, medicine, utilities, etc.), attend sporting events, plays, etc.

Government officials will control everyone’s (your) life.

Crouere said, “These are not passports to health; they are passports straight to hell.”

This writer has seen several articles and watched several videos with doctors saying the substance that people are being vaccinated with is not a vaccine.

Some doctors say the substance contains nanochips that contain data that can be changed and updated.

Some doctors sincerely believe the vaccinations and “vaccine passports” are all about tracking and controlling everyone on earth (you).

Nine, concerning a falling away in the Church: on Mar. 30, 2021, it was reported that a recent Gallup survey found that only 49% (less than half) of U.S. citizens are members of a specific house of worship in the U.S.

Declining Church membership is a generational problem, not a Covid problem, because Church attendance is declining from generation to generation.

(Writer’s note: As a general rule, Church membership is declining, but some churches are reporting growth, and a common denominator seems to be pastors that are preaching on the prophetic Scriptures).

Ten, on Mar. 28, 2021, Dr. John McArthur told the congregation at Grace Community Church in Sun Valley, Cal. that nations can reach the point where it is too late to repent and avoid the judgment of God.

According to McArthur, the current generation of Americans is already under the judgment of God.

McArthur said, “When you see a nation deep in sexual sin, pervasively affirming of homosexuality, and the insanity of a reprobate mind, where they make laws to criminalize righteousness and to legalize gross evil, you know that nation is under judgment.”

He added that “it is not too late for the elect, but it is too late for the nation.”

Eleven, on Mar. 30, 2021, Bahrain appointed the nation’s first-ever ambassador to Israel.

Bahrain’s new ambassador said, “The sight of a Bahraini flag flying in Israel, as well as the Israeli flag flying in Bahrain, are visible symbols of a new era in the region, an era of peace and prosperity for all.”

This is a small step toward the “covenant with many” that starts the Tribulation Period, so it should be viewed as a very significant event.

Twelve, concerning persecution: five days before Easter Sunday, the World Health Organization’s regional office for Europe (WHO) published a set of voluntary guidelines for “responsible worship” during Easter.

In the opinion of this globalist group, “responsible worship” means continent-wide, downsized services and family gatherings on Easter Sunday.

This is the problem: An international organization headed by a godless former communist party member has created guidelines for so-called “responsible worship” that someday may be made mandatory.

Thirteen, former Pres. Trump placed sanctions on two International Criminal Court (ICC) officials for trying to illegally prosecute Israel for War Crimes over its dealings with the Palestinians.

On Apr. 2, 2021, Pres. Biden revoked Trump’s sanctions, demonstrating his support for world government, his anti-Israel bias, and further exposing the U.S. to the curse (Gen. 12:3).

Finally, if you want to go to heaven, you must be born again (John 3:3). God loves you, and if you have not done so, sincerely admit that you are a sinner; believe that Jesus is the virgin-born, sinless Son of God who died for the sins of the world, was buried, and raised from the dead; ask Him to forgive your sins, cleanse you, come into your heart and be your Saviour; then tell someone that you have done this.

[email protected]

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junker-town · 5 years

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Who’s won Week 1 of the NFL preseason so far?

Photo by Kirk Irwin/Getty Images

Tom Brady’s realtor, Daniel by-god Jones, and the legend of Adam Gase all got major boosts.

The NFL returned last week. Kind of.

The Hall of Fame Game was technically football, just like the cardboard rectangle of Ragu and shredded mozzarella-ish cheese you got in elementary school was technically pizza.

This week, the league countered the preseason’s ongoing lack of quality with a major uptick in quantity. Thursday night unveiled an 11-game slate that could rival what you’ll see on Sundays this fall, assuming you squint really hard or drink until Garrett Gilbert looked like a stretched-out Baker Mayfield. Some games came down to the wire. Ones involving the Lions and Jaguars did not.

We’ll have more winners once Week 1 concludes. Assuming there are winners. But so far, who has won the first true week of the preseason slate?

It certainly was not this first name:

Not considered: David Fales, who lost exactly as many yards as he gained

Fales entered a Patriots-Lions game that was somehow out of reach in the first quarter and walked a sturdy tightrope of awfulness for Detroit. He completed only five of his 14 passes, gaining 62 yards in the process. Impressively, he was also sacked six times — 30 percent of his dropbacks! — for a loss of ... 62 yards.

He wasn’t entirely neutral, however; Fales did manage to throw an interception to defensive end John Simon. It was just as bad as it sounds:

Simon says: #Patriots ball .@johnesimon51 | #NEvsDET pic.twitter.com/wp0ye8r8yK

— New England Patriots (@Patriots) August 9, 2019

Fales was responsible for Detroit’s only three points of the night. His interception led to a Patriots touchdown, however, leaving his impact at a negative-four points.

Now, on to the actual winners of the NFL preseason’s premiere week:

8. Whichever Sotheby’s realtor handles Boston’s high-profile clients

Tom Brady put his Boston-area five-bedroom, seven bathroom estate — which features a 2,400-square-foot guest house and a driveway that parks 20 cars — up for sale this week. Any money he’s left on the table in negotiations with the Patriots will be made up from the bids of too-rich Massholes.

It’ll cost you $39.5 million to cook in a kitchen once stocked with avocado ice cream, or do yoga in the same room where Alex Guerrero once regularly prescribed stretching and hugs to prolong a Hall of Fame career. This is a tremendous Brady-bump — a similar five-bedroom, 8,800-square foot house in the same neighborhood sold for only $5.6 million back in May.

Assuming a six percent commission split between two realtors, the two primary sellers of this estate would clear more than $1 million for making the king of the finance bros’ dream come true. And if multiple Bravo reality shows have taught us anything, it’s that elite realtors are wonderful people who truly deserve this money.

Not considered for this list: Other Chestnut Hill-area realtors

Pitching the opportunity to live in the same neighborhood as Brady and Gisele is easily worth a 10 percent bump in asking price. Now that the neighbors who respectfully declined to attend every neighborhood pot luck are leaving, sellers may have to settle for a mere $1.8 million for their 3,000-square-foot home.

7. Antonio Callaway, who absolutely made this catch

I don’t care what the refs (incorrectly) ruled. This was awesome.

Didn't count but INSANE effort by Callaway pic.twitter.com/pRgqnInqHW

— The Checkdown (@thecheckdown) August 9, 2019

6. Alpine doctors

One of medicine’s more forgotten specialties got a boost this week when Antonio Brown posted a picture of his gnarly feet and invited the world to ask: arrrggggh why?

What could have caused Brown’s feet to develop a rind like a poorly stored wedge of Montgomery cheddar? ESPN analyst Chris Simms originally landed on fungal infection before correcting the culprit to frostbite from a cryotherapy session gone wrong. The Raiders have neither confirmed nor denied this — while the feet were a sticking point on Hard Knocks, though there was no real insight into the cause — but yeah, given the grossness of those feet I’m inclined to believe the most outlandish possible cause for these symptoms.

The question now is when Oakland can expect its superstar acquisition to return to the field.

What makes frostbite diagnosis tricky is that no two cases are identical. However, the photo tends to support the idea that Brown has Stage 2 frostbite, which is characterized with either blistering, or hardened skin — which cracks and peels off. The real risk here is that Brown has done damage to the blood vessels in his feet, which, according to the Summit Medical Group, can take up to six weeks to be revealed.

Hopefully the damage is minor and Brown will be back on the field soon.

Until then, Brown will be working closely with Dr. Bubba. He is a St. Bernard’s with cask of brandy around his neck and, sadly, fictional.

5. The kid whose bike was destroyed by J.J. Watt

Watt returned to his home state when his Texans bunkered down in Green Bay in advance of their preseason opener against the Packers. This afforded him the chance to take part in one of the league’s finest August traditions: riding the bikes of local children who’ve come to watch training camp sessions. Players pick out a waiting child, hand over their helmets, then make the trip down the DreamDrive from the locker room to the field before practice begins.

Watt, the human embodiment of a Great Dane loose at a dog park, promptly crushed his loaner bike.

(video courtesy of @ClintStoerner)

“It was pretty awesome until I broke the bike,” Watt told reporters afterward. “The bike that I was using was not equipped for a 290-pound man. The seat broke off. We have purchased a new bike for the boy, so I apologize for that.”

Watt makes nearly $17 million annually, so the aggrieved child likely came out of this deal with a solid upgrade. Plus he gets to tell his friends about the time a Hall of Famer came to town and ruined his bike for the rest of his life. A nice little Tuesday for him.

4. The ongoing legend of Adam Gase’s, uh, peculiarness

We knew about the eyes — that Gase’s face existed in an atmosphere solely made of whispers informing him his exact time of death. This week we got some insight as to why. The Athletic’s Dan Pompei took a deep dive to explore the foundation of Gase, only to find it’s built from caffeine, coaching cliches, and the self-care of an unattended minor.

“You would get these texts from him until 4 in the morning on a regular basis,” says Tannenbaum, now an ESPN analyst. “I don’t think he sleeps a lot.”

Fueled by five or six 20-ounce cups a day from the Kuerig coffee maker that is an arm’s length from his desk, and maybe a Red Bull here or there, Gase has energy like a power plant. And it doesn’t wane in the wee hours.

There’s also the fact Kevin McCallister had a more responsible diet while left unsupervised in the hit movies Home Alone and Home Alone 2: Lost in New York.

Well, and pizza. With pepperoni. When Gase was with the Dolphins, his office often was filled with the aroma of a pie from Pizza Loft in Davie. When the owner of the restaurant sold the business, he put a clause in the contract that required the new owner to deliver pizza to Gase every night for one year. So Gase ate pizza every night.

Gase is not likely to prepare a meal on his own. When Jennifer recently left him home alone to dog sit for a day, he texted and asked her to order him lunch from Uber Eats.

This revelation of late-night annoyances and childlike disdain for utensils was quickly swept aside by the fact Gase and his wife scheduled their second child’s Caesarian section around his football schedule. His son Wyatt was born at 10 a.m. in the middle of the 2013 NFL season. Gase was back at the Broncos’ facilities — where he was an assistant coach — to greet Peyton Manning for their weekly sit-down by 2 p.m.

This is all, of course, bonkers. But this? For a preseason game?

Did Adam Gase just take smelling salts before a preseason game? pic.twitter.com/gVINzrkcjW

— Andrew Perloff (@andrewperloff) August 8, 2019

These are not the actions of a successful NFL head coach. They are the actions of a man in a wedding dress attempting to blow a car to smithereens.

3. Former Phoenix College star Damon Sheehy-Guiseppi, who will somehow be played by Mark Wahlberg in the film version of his life

Sheehy-Guiseppi went from sleeping on the grass in Miami to a tryout with the Browns this summer. The former junior college All-American had the slimmest of NFL prospects, but found a landing spot in Cleveland after effectively hustling his way into a workout this summer. His 4.38-second 40 speed earned him the chance to put on a Browns uniform Thursday night, and he once again burst through a door that had only been cracked a sliver.

WHAT A MOMENT Damon Sheehy-Guiseppi returns a punt 86 yards for a TD — and the whole bench clears to celebrate pic.twitter.com/anLZ3EEgAT

— Cleveland Browns (@Browns) August 9, 2019

Everyone on the Cleveland bench went completely apeshit for this return. It turns out they had a pretty good reason.

2. The Patriots’ passing offense without Tom Brady or Rob Gronkowski, somehow

New England got its long-awaited revenge on Matt Patricia Thursday, breaking a months-long losing streak against the Lions by absolutely thrashing Detroit’s second team to start the preseason. That in itself isn’t amazing, but the way the Patriots did it is. Brian Hoyer and Jarrett Stidham combined for 326 passing yards and three touchdowns. Two of those went to undrafted free agent Jakobi Meyers, who sure as hell looks like the latest college-quarterback-turned-receiver to turn Bill Belichicks frown ... into a slightly more neutral frown.

.@jkbmyrs5 for six.#NEvsDET | #GoPats pic.twitter.com/IUm9fkIY7s

— New England Patriots (@Patriots) August 9, 2019

New England needs a big target who can unstick himself from opposing defenders now that Gronk’s gone into the party bus business full time. Meyers looks like he could fit that bill.

1. Giants general manager Dave Gettleman, who may have been right all along

We all had a nice laugh when the Giants selected zero-time All-ACC selection Daniel Jones with the sixth overall pick of the 2019 NFL Draft. We reveled in Gettleman’s long, strange list of justifications for drafting a passer who may have been available at the team’s second first-round pick, or maybe even on Day 2. We marveled when the Giants inadvertently recreated the pointing Spidermen meme in offseason camp.

But it turns out Jones may have been the right pick after all (I am certain I won’t regret writing this in September, of course).

Drive 1: Every single Daniel Jones pass -5/5, 67 yds and a TD Say goodbye, Eli pic.twitter.com/MURmdOceVD

— Warren Sharp (@SharpFootball) August 8, 2019

It’s Week 1 of the preseason and it was against a Jets team without the best players in its budding secondary, so maybe Eli Manning shouldn’t retreat into retirement just yet. Still, Jones’ solid debut gives at least some hope there’s balm in Gilead for a suffering Giants team that still may not have found the bedrock of its bottoming out.

Jones finished his night as SB Nation’s top-rated rookie passer, though he wasn’t the only young New York quarterback to turn heads Thursday night. Both Sam Darnold and Jones finished their 2019 debuts with perfect passer ratings. That’s literally the best they could have hoped for.

Maybe MetLife Stadium won’t be a swirling vortex of depression this season after all.

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quillandsaber · 7 years

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30 Days of Beauty and the Beast: Day 6 (First)

I had great fun designing the castle chaplain's backstory and personality. I hope to involve Pére François heavily in the future, because he's pretty uniformly awesome. Adam did not deserve him.

BE WARNED: There is a premature newborn in this story. As in, might-not-live premature. I can assure you as the author that the baby survives (he's been referenced in an earlier short), but my characters don't know that.

"Your Highness, you have a son."

Cogsworth delivered the news gravely, and Adam knew instantly something wasn't right. From the moment he'd been told Belle's pains had started, he'd sat in the chapel, alternatively praying, hoping, fearing, feeling utterly powerless...and now it had all come to this. Cold dread settled in the pit of his stomach. "What is it? What's wrong?"

"The midwife and doctor agree it best that the baby be baptized immediately," the older man said carefully. "I was asked to fetch you; I've already found the chaplain."

Adam did not need to be told twice. He raced out of the chapel, up the stairs, dodging servants as they came from Belle's rooms carrying linens, ewers, other random items he couldn't make out in his mad dash towards his wife's bedchamber and the small cluster of people gathered outside the door.

Pére François was already there, stone-faced, preparing the holy water and the oil--he must have had it with him in readiness, Adam thought, and his stomach sank further--but Adam barrelled past them towards the doctor and midwife. He could see blood on their hands, the smell of it frightening him even more.

"What's wrong?" he asked, darting between the two. "How are they?"

"The princess is as well as she can be, but your son is...very small, and his cry is weak. We believe he was born earlier than he ought." The doctor looked to the midwife, who nodded. "It is possible he may live--thrive, even--but for the sake of his immortal soul, I cannot recommend taking that risk. However..."

"The princess won't allow anyone to take the child from her," the midwife finished. "It's not uncommon for new mothers to be possessed with this sort of madness when they know their child is...unwell, but he is still unbaptized, and he will need to be fed if he is to thrive."

"I can perform the sacrament for the child in his mother's arms, there is no impediment," the priest interrupted, bowl and cloth in hand. "But for the sake of his soul, we must act now. His Highness should come with me and be witness."

"I'll go first," Adam returned, mind racing with all the new information; it was too much, too much at once to absorb. "I might be able to calm her down." Actually, he had no idea if he was able to calm her down--it would be a first if he did--but he needed to see that she was all right, at least. The vague notion that he might have lost her (might still lose her, a voice said in the back of his head) was near enough to drive him insane.

With trembling hands, he opened the door to look in on the birthing room.

From what little he knew of birth, it seemed as if the servants had already been in to remove the soiled sheets and other things, but the smell of blood was still in the air, barely masked by scented candles. Belle sat in her bed, hair a tangled, damp mess, eyes sunken and red, but--God be praised--alert and alive. In her arms she clutched a tiny linen-wrapped bundle as if she was afraid it would disappear from her arms.

"Adam!" she whispered, fear coloring every syllable. "Adam, is the priest here?"

"Yes, love, he is." Adam glanced over to Pére François, who had bustled past him to the bedside.

"I won't let him go," she insisted, and the bundle let out a weak whine. "They won't take him from me, not if...not if…"

"Be at peace, daughter," the old priest said, placing the bowl of water on the bedside table. "All I need is to be able to see his face to baptize and anoint him, and to know his name."

"Jean-Alexandre," Belle said, her tight grip loosening just enough for the bundle to start turning, though Adam couldn't see past the black-coated back of the priest. "We agreed that it would be Jean-Alexandre for a boy."

The priest began muttering in Latin so quickly Adam couldn't follow it, and he craned his neck to try to catch a glimpse of his son. When Pére François backed away, he could finally see the child's face peering out from swaths of linen and silk wrappings. It looked like no child he had ever seen before, pinched, somehow pale and ruddy at the same time, and so unbelievably small.

Then the child's nose twitched, and he gave out the tiniest wail Adam could possibly imagine, and a surge of some primal nameless emotion threatened to overwhelm him. That was his child, his son, his and his wife's. His firstborn, no matter what else happened tonight or tomorrow or the day after that.

A woman--the wet-nurse, Adam was fairly certain, though he only vaguely remembered being told that Mrs. Potts had selected one to be added to the nursery staff--shuffled past him. "The young master is hungry. Madame, if you please--"

Belle's eyes flashed with desperate fire as she clutched the swaddled baby close to her chest. "'It is fit that every mother should nurse her own child because her milk, which is nothing else but the blood whitened of which it was made and wherewith he had been nourished the time he stayed in his mother's womb,' that's what Guillemeau says." She looked to the ancient book that she'd kept next to her nearly as long as she'd been sure she'd been expecting; she must have read it cover to cover at least five times. "You aren't taking him!"

"Madame--" the nurse began again, but a withering look from Belle silenced her. The nurse looked to Adam, who looked to his terrified, distressed wife, then to the doctor. He hadn't the faintest clue what to do, he didn't even know if there was anything he could do that would actually help, but everyone was looking to him to make a decision.

"Is there any reason this would be dangerous to either of them, anything that wouldn't be in the book?" Adam asked at last.

The doctor seemed to choose his words carefully before speaking. "If you will permit me to mention it, ladies of noble lineage are often too delicate for it, and if any tried, it is likely that their milk would be insufficient. However, considering the...unusual circumstances of the princess's birth..."

"It's her decision, then."

The entire room was silent for a long moment after Adam's proclamation except the small cries that came from the child. Then the nurse spoke. "Very well, Highness. If his Highness would…?"

"No, let him stay, if he wants." Belle's voice cracked. "I want Alex to know his father, no matter what happens. As much as he can."

The nurse looked startled, but as soon as the doctor left, she proceeded to assist his wife, murmuring quietly as they adjusted chemise, baby, and breast according to some set of rules Adam couldn't guess at, but he took the opportunity to sneak around to get a better look at his wife and son without intruding on what seemed strangely like a sacred scene, perhaps reminiscent of the Madonna and Child paintings he had seen in Italy in his youth. Finally, the nurse backed up, muttering something about being back in ten minutes, and then the small new family was alone.

"You can come closer," Belle said, gaze fixed on the child at her breast. "He has your eyes. I was hoping he would."

His hands were still shaking so much he was afraid to even suggest he touch the baby, but he scooted onto the edge of the bed so he could wrap an arm around his wife's waist and look over her shoulder at their child. The baby had stopped nursing, lying very still with his eyes closed, moving just enough to indicate that he was still breathing.

"This is your papa, Jean-Alexandre," Belle whispered. "He's been waiting very patiently to meet you for many months now, and he's loved you every minute of it. Didn't you?"

Adam nodded, blinking back tears. Sitting there, arms around his wife and son, he vowed to be grateful for this day. God only knew they might not have many more of them, but he'd always cherish this memory of his firstborn in his heart.

Some important history information for this one, presented as an information dump: the Prince and Belle would necessarily be Catholic, being French post-Huguenot removal. According to Catholic tradition (as in, how most people believed, which is not necessarily what the detailed theological texts said), an infant's soul would be condemned to hell if they died unbaptized, so a baby who was born weak or sickly would be baptized as quickly as possible. It's very realistic that Adam would have never seen an infant before; noblewomen didn't raise their own children until they were four or five, and even servant women sent their children away to be wet-nursed as soon after birth as possible so they could return to work. 90% of all French babies at the time were wet-nursed for practical or traditional reasons, and modern scholars believe this was a contributing factor to high infant mortality rates.

Jacques Guillemeau (1550-1613) was the first French obstetrician. While his seminal work on birth and nursing would have been considered ancient and questionably-sound in Belle's day--which is why Adam doesn't trust it as much as Belle does and why a lot of its information was ignored by doctors and midwives of the era--it was (to the best of my ability to determine) the only obstetrics text to be written in French until later in the 18th century. The line in the book immediately after the sentence Belle quotes lists reasons why women would have to use a wet-nurse, one of them being that their husbands won't permit it; Adam, legally-speaking, had the power to force Belle to give the child to a wet-nurse, which is why everyone looked to him to make the call.

#beauty and the beast #30daysofbatb

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ahopkins1965 · 4 years

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Who Wrote Revelation?

Bible / Bible Study / Topical Studies / Who Wrote Revelation?

Clarence L. Haynes Jr. | Contributing Writer

Thursday, May 28, 2020

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Revelation is the final chapter. It’s the book that closes out the Bible, the one book in the Bible that many people are afraid to read. I guess the many symbols and images can be overwhelming and somewhat scary. Ultimately when you understand the true meaning of the book – when you know whose side you are on – that fear will turn to joy and expectation.

The goal today is not to give you a deep dive into the entire book, even though I will give you a brief synopsis. Today we want to look a little bit closer and learn more about the person who wrote Revelation. You will find the identity of the writer in Revelation 1:4. That person was John.

Who Was John?

In the New Testament, you just can’t say John wrote the book because there were a few important people named John in that time. The author of Revelation is the apostle John, or as he called himself the disciple whom Jesus loved. John is the author of five books in the New Testament:

- The Gospel of John (this is where he identifies himself as the disciple whom Jesus loved)

- 1 John

- 2 John

- 3 John

- Revelation

John was one of the twelve disciples, but he was also part of the “inner circle” along with Peter and James. They had the privilege of experiencing things with Jesus that the other disciples didn’t. One of the greatest of these happened when they were with Jesus on the mountain and saw his transfiguration. You can read about it in Matthew 17, Mark 9, and Luke 9.

Interesting enough, even though John was an eyewitness to this event he chose not to write about it in his own gospel. Some scholars suggest that the influence of this event is not captured in one instance in John’s gospel account. They say it is a recurring theme that flows throughout his entire book. Nevertheless, this “inner circle” apostle is the same John who wrote Revelation.

Where Did John Write Revelation?

The book of Revelation was written around AD 95. Prior to him writing the book, there was a time of tremendous persecution in the church. At this time, the ruling Roman emperor was Domitian. John was persecuted because he was fulfilling his mission, preaching the gospel and making disciples. As part of his persecution, he was exiled to the island of Patmos. He refers to this in the first chapter of Revelation:

“I, John, your brother and companion in the suffering and kingdom and patient endurance that are ours in Jesus, was on the island of Patmos because of the word of God and the testimony of Jesus” (Revelation 1:9).

Patmos was a small penal colony to which John was banished. I guess this was the emperor’s method of trying to shut him down and silence him. What’s interesting to note is that in this place of exile and banishment, God gave him this great revelation. It is just a reminder that your circumstances don’t limit God from using you or revealing truth to you. God is greater than your circumstances.

How Did John See the Things Written in Revelation?

Early in chapter 1 of the book we discover the way John wrote the book. Surprisingly, it came by revelation (I guess naming the book wasn’t very difficult). Here is how it happened in John’s words:

“On the Lord’s Day I was in the Spirit, and I heard behind me a loud voice like a trumpet, which said: ‘Write on a scroll what you see and send it to the seven churches: to Ephesus, Smyrna, Pergamum, Thyatira, Sardis, Philadelphia and Laodicea” (Revelation 1:10-11).

John was caught up in the Spirit and he was instructed to write all the things he saw. He was creating a written record of the things God was about to reveal to him. I often wonder with many of the things he saw, how much his mind must have been blown. Unbeknownst to him, he was writing about things that would happen thousands of years into the future. What an incredible challenge.

Imagine if you lived in the 1930’s and you had to describe at that time the internet, smartphones or even drones. What language would you use to describe that? What point of reference or imagery would you use to describe this flying spider looking thing. This was part of John’s challenge, describing things thousands of years into the future with language and references of the first century AD. Yet he succeeded because he was guided by The Holy Spirit, who I guess you could say is technically the one who wrote Revelation.

How Can We Trust That John's Visions Are Reliable?

What’s very interesting about this book is that John has an encounter with Jesus again in the first chapter. Remember John had a very unique perspective of Jesus. He saw him in his natural form as a human; he also saw him transfigured and in all his glory. Let’s look at this encounter:

“I turned around to see the voice that was speaking to me. And when I turned I saw seven golden lampstands, and among the lampstands was someone like a son of man, dressed in a robe reaching down to his feet and with a golden sash around his chest. The hair on his head was white like wool, as white as snow, and his eyes were like blazing fire. His feet were like bronze glowing in a furnace, and his voice was like the sound of rushing waters. In his right hand he held seven stars, and coming out of his mouth was a sharp, double-edged sword. His face was like the sun shining in all its brilliance. When I saw him, I fell at his feet as though dead. Then he placed his right hand on me and said: ‘Do not be afraid. I am the First and the Last. I am the Living One; I was dead, and now look, I am alive for ever and ever! And I hold the keys of death and Hades. ‘Write, therefore, what you have seen, what is now and what will take place later” (Revelation 1:12-19).

I believe that when John saw this vision of Jesus, his mind went back to that mountaintop experience. I believe the combination of being caught up in the spirit and this encounter with Jesus gave John the confidence to write, and more importantly gives us the confidence to believe what he wrote.

What Is the Message of Revelation?

The message of Revelation is a simple one with a lot of challenging symbolism. The message is about what is to come. John is writing in two spaces: what was happening then and what would happen in the future. The book gives a picture of what will happen as we close the doors on human history as we know it and we look forward with anticipation to Jesus’ second coming.

John describes in detail a period of tribulation that will come upon the earth, that will be unmatched when compared to any other time in human history. He gives us insight into the events that will take place leading up to the very moment when Jesus again returns as he promised he would do. What John also describes is what happens after that, and then ultimately the judgement of Satan and all who choose not to follow Christ.

Finally, he ends with the beauty of heaven and the wonderful things God has in store for those who love him. If there is one message that Revelation emphasizes I believe it’s found in chapter 22:

“The angel said to me, ‘These words are trustworthy and true. The Lord, the God who inspires the prophets, sent his angel to show his servants the things that must soon take place.’ ‘Look, I am coming soon! Blessed is the one who keeps the words of the prophecy written in this scroll” (Revelation 22:6-7).

Jesus is coming soon. In light of this truth, the question that remains, that only you can answer, is how will you live your life?

Knowing who wrote Revelation, the apostle John, knowing the message of Revelation that Jesus is coming soon, ask yourself now: What’s next? I mentioned earlier that the book of Revelation can be scary, depending on whose side you are on. If you are on Jesus’ side, here is good news – you win. This is a story that truly ends well for those in Christ. You have nothing to fear. God has nothing but the best planned for those who love him. When he comes that will be a glorious day. I pray that we would all labor for the cause of Christ until he comes. It will be worth it all in the end.

Clarence L. Haynes Jr. is a rising speaker, teacher, author and co-founder of The Bible Study Club. He has spent more than 30 years serving the body of Christ in various capacities and has just released his first book, The Pursuit of Purpose. If you have ever struggled trying to find God’s will, this book will help you discover the different ways God leads you into his perfect will. To learn more about his ministry please visit clarencehaynes.com.

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