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realbeijinger · 6 months

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A semi-coherent rant on climate change, the value of idealism, and a criticism of TGCF (But also not really because I haven’t finished it yet and also I love MXTX…)

I’m in the middle of Book 3 of Tian Guan Ci Fu, and it is legit making me depressed. Like really, unnecessarily sad. I know I should probably wait until the end to write up my thoughts since I don’t know how things will ultimately turn out, but I feel like I need to process. And so, here we go…

First of all, I am sooo Xie Lian. I feel like this story gets me down so much because it hits too close to home. When I was little, I was super idealistic—I used to go around telling people that love was the most important thing in the world, and that civilization was wrong, because we were destroying the environment, and so we should all go back to living in harmony with nature. I was like a crazy, radical five year old, but also somehow mature-sounding and nauseatingly sweet. Grownups loved me and assumed I would grow up to do something big. But… I haven’t really. Instead I am just a normal person and realized that the world is actually super complicated—like I said, sooo Xie Lian. Except I never became a god or saved even one person…

Anyways, it’s not like I disagree with MXTX’s criticism of blind idealism. She hit the nail on the head—crushingly well. But I guess, like Xie Lian, I am still clinging to that last bit of hope I haven’t let go of yet.

In TGCF and Mo Dao Zu Shi, things are never black and white, and she criticizes those characters who act with a blind sense of righteousness. She believes in nuance. And yet, in our current moment, we are headed toward a climate catastrophe, and it feels like we are all just sitting back, trying to carefully weigh the ideal course of action—the pros and cons, scared of being too rash, too impulsive—while the world burns.

When I first started watching the Untamed (which is where my MXTX journey started), I was initially drawn in by this extremely beautiful man who was willing to sacrifice so much to do what was right. I loved how he refused to compromise with this screwed up society. Because, I am so frustrated with myself for always compromising. For being part of this system that’s horrible and destroying the world and personally doing very little to stop it. And I wanted to be inspired—and for a minute I was by Wei Wuxian.

And then, of course, it turns out that the real message was the complete opposite of that, and having dogmatic, uncompromising morals is not something to be applauded. In the eyes of MXTX, it’s very dangerous.

And I mean, she’s not wrong. But I can’t help but think maybe we still need heroes like that. I really admire Greta Thunberg who refuses to fly in planes, buy anything new, doesn’t eat meat. Before anyone joined her protests, she was ditching school every day, literally sitting all by herself in front of Swedish parliament with one pathetic-looking sign. I mean that kind of commitment takes HUGE resolve. It has to come from a total sense of self-righteousness, from a complete unwillingness to compromise or back down—a refusal to listen to her parents, or her teachers, or the large numbers of people around her who were definitely telling her she was nuts. I mean, I try to go veg, and my mother-in-law hands me one homemade meat dish and I instantly fold…

In interviews, Greta often talks about how being on the autism spectrum causes her to view the world in very black and white terms—with good and evil being clearly defined. She often refers to the older generation as “evil” for their role in the climate crisis—a word MXTX would probably not approve of. Normally, I don’t think black and white thinking is good. I also believe in nuance. But when it comes to something like climate, it’s incredibly complicated but also incredibly simple. We have to stop burning fossil fuels. We have to do it now. If we want humanity to survive, we don’t have a choice. We gotta pull out all the stops. We can’t hesitate. And if we do, we’ll lose everything. Any drawbacks that may come from us not using fossil fuels are completely outweighed if the climate goes to shit. There’s no real nuance in that. And to get people to make that sort of change, you need passion. You need motivation. You need feeling. Basically, you need blind idealism. We are soooo screwed, and really, blind idealism is all we have left.

And I want to have that. Part of me wants to get back to that idealism I lost. But like Xie Lian, I don’t know how…

I dunno. There are always reasons not to do anything. Most of us know life is complicated—our limitations are usually way too obvious. But, I think, sometimes we still should take the single log bridge into darkness. And maybe we need some dumb, cliché hero story to give us the motivation to do it…

Of course, saving the world is not easy. Especially when it comes to large scale national or international politics, the situation in Xianle demonstrates very clearly how easy it is to create unintended consequences. Everything is so complex. There are so many factors, so many competing interests to consider. I do not envy political leaders.

But most of us are not political leaders. Most of us are just ordinary people who want to make the world a little better. We have the capacity to be activists, but that’s it. We don’t have the power to make detailed policy decisions anyway. And so, to some extent, I don’t think we need to worry so much about all that. We just have to push politicians in the right direction.

Even at that high leadership level, though, I do think it’s possible to make better choices—ones that create less harm. And I do think we have an obligation to try and find those. I don’t agree with what the State Preceptor said (and what I think MXTX actually believes), that “Assigning fault is meaningless.” To me, that’s akin to giving up on morality altogether.

A lot of this is a matter of perspective. Yes, if you zoom out far enough, assigning fault is meaningless. But then, if you zoom out far enough, everything is meaningless. Everything we love and care about will one day be gone. Our battles for justice, for equality, for the people we love, will all be entirely pointless once our current society goes the way of the Aztecs, once humanity disappears, once the earth gets swallowed by the sun.

Again, if we zoom far enough out, climate change is not really a problem. According to that wise state preceptor, “In this world, fortune—good or bad—is predetermined.” MXTX believes there is only so much good fortune in the world. If we somehow manage to take too much of it, we will eventually pay the price. Balance will be restored.

Which is exactly what is happening in this era of climate catastrophe. In the past 200 years since the industrial revolution, humanity has taken a lot of fortune. For the first time in history, we don’t worry every day about finding food. We’ve conquered a whole host of deadly diseases, have greatly reduced our need for manual labor, and can spend our days in mental pursuits, making art, or writing self-indulgent essays about Chinese web novels.

All of this, I would argue, is not really because of human ingenuity, but because we happened to find an incredibly powerful energy source—fossil fuels—which have given us the illusion of “human progress.” Let’s remember that this “progress” has only lasted for about 200 years, a small dot on the graph of human existence (300,000 years), and that for most of that time, people viewed history as a cycle, with inevitable ups and downs, rather than a continuous march upward.

In other words, in the past 200 years, we’ve taken too much fortune. But nature will correct the balance. I don’t think climate change will destroy life on earth. Even if the worst happens and humanity bites the dust, other species will most likely persist, evolving into creatures completely new—a rebirth, of sorts. Looking at it from that far-off, disinterested perspective, it’s not really a problem. It’s just what nature does. New species follow each other, one after the next—like passing seasons.

But, even if all this is true, I don’t think we can be so detached. I don’t think we can live our lives believing that morality is pointless, not trying to do the right thing, or not worrying about how our actions affect others. If we approach life with such indifference, what’s to stop us from completely giving up?

One of my favorite TV shows is this old drama called Dead Like Me, where a wise, older character (a state preceptor, of sorts), says to the main character, “If you stand too close to a painting — all you see are patches of color, if you stand too far back, you can't see any of the detail.” In other words, when it comes to life, you need to stand the right distance away. Personally, I think MXTX is standing too far back. It’s true, there is so much we can’t control. Though we may be able to make things better for a bit, we cannot alter the basic cycle of life. Life is suffering. It was true when Buddha said it, and it’s true now. And if we try to “attempt the impossible,” as the Jiang motto says, and radically change that dynamic, we will fail.

But unlike in MXTX’s universe, fate doesn’t really screw us at every turn. Every day there are small victories. I used to do social work, which really was an exercise in the futility of trying to fix deeply rooted problems with insufficient tools, but I still remember those few times when I did do something right: the old man with dementia I got to take his meds, the guy who found his family on Facebook.

Even just writing a stupid email to Biden telling him to stop the drilling… we have to value those actions. We have to be invested. Sure, the universe doesn’t care. But I think we should still care. We can’t just throw up our hands and say the world is fucked. Because if everyone did that, the world really would be fucked. Even more so than it already is.

Again, I realize I don’t entirely know where she’s going with all this. It’s very possible there’s going to be more to it than just criticizing idealism. Despite all the depressing stuff, I see crumbs of hope in how Hua Cheng loves Xie Lian, and values his attempts to help others. The line, “Although foolish, it is brave,” just floored me. I loved it so much. Honestly, I’d probably be happy if she leaves open any hope for idealism at all.

But also, I have to prepare myself for the possibility that I will not totally agree with what she has to say. Which should be fine. I mean, in real life, I’m pretty good at interacting with people I fundamentally disagree with. But… in the hands of an author like MXTX, I feel like my emotions are like putty. I’m completely at her mercy. And partially, I don’t want to fight that. I want to give myself to the story, and lose myself in it completely. That’s a great feeling, but also, kind of… vulnerable? And then, when so emotionally invested, to suddenly realize that what the author’s saying bothers me…

Of course, I’ll get over it. I always do. Usually I write meta or fanfic as a way to process—to get out of someone else’s story, out of their head, and back into my own.

Anyways, we’ll see. Don’t tell me what happens!! I am trusting YOU, strangers on the internet!

If that’s not blind idealism, I don’t know what is…

#tgcf #mxtx #mdzs #climate change #tian guan ci fu #heaven official's blessing #mo dao zu shi #the untamed #chinese bl

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bluejoestarberry · 3 years

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I still can't get over the fact,,-

He Tian and Mo Guan Shan developement from the beginning chapters to the present. It is just the most pleasant character developement.🥺😩

(IGHT IGHT I GOT THAT HE AINT A BULLY, my mistake😭✋.)

The beginning chapters of Mo, who ain't friends with his future homies until later on. Look at his delinquent ass, acting all thug, hanging with the wrong crowd. Sooner becoming one of his closest friends, or the only true friends he will ever have. Look at him! There is a variety of moments they have together, but here. He is following (not really tho but STILL-) along with them either way.

Next off, the brushing Mo lip gesture. In the beginning, Mo Guan Shan was literally afraid of He Tian to the point he would tremble under his touch. HT last time used this as a threat to sew his lips shut without any hesitation. NOW, look at his dumbass, using this gesture again. All happily lovesick wiping away Mo little mess with affection from his lip. Before Mo would shake and try to at least attack his way out look from fear, now he just flustered by HT little touches.

Mo growth from crying out of embarrasment and shame that He Tian would inflict onto him. HT didn't give a single shit by his harrassment before, his facial expressions carried the look of annoyance by Mo lash out. Of course, previous Mo wouldn't care for a hasty bastard. Present Mo on the other hand, cried out of panic-anxiety when He Tian was hurt. He Tian literally sacrifice himself to save his friends and Mo. Watch him have tears well up in his eyes, out of shame? Nah, out of distress that HT put himself in danger for him, in a situation that could've killed him. Mo actions speaks for his care towards HT, clawing at the dirt, calling for He Tian to answer back alive, and that lovely hug of relief when HT signal he is okay. It just warms my heart, ugh gross.

Now the looks they would exchange each other. Mo would always have his gaurd up, defensive, and glare with a hatred or annoyance at HT. HT would return it as a challenge, he won't step down and will charge back 10x harder. Now look at them, facing each other. Mo is literally the only person who makes HT show a genuine, contented smile. Mo course has his resting bitch face, but it soften overtime with HT. It isn't defensive and harsh, but a look of awe and maybe admiration on seeing him smile. Mo even blushing at his smile, who can blame him?? He a fine man, SECURE THE BAG SOON MO💪💪💪

At points getting physical with each other. He Tian would mostly initiate the abuse whenever Mo would tries defending for himself. Mo still hits He Tian but only when he wouldn't quit his playing, or when he is doing/saying something stupid. Now look at em, abusive rumbling to physically touching each other affectionately. HT carries him and Mo doesn't fight back. He gives himself in and accepts HT affectionate touch. Look at him covering his face either from shyness and/or a bit of embarrasment how shameless HT being.☺️

They had the biggest character developement, and I love em.

Waiting to see the next chapter if Mo will give that smooch or nah🥺. Praying it be something wholesome and no angst, I ain't ready for it😭

Made minor changes, but ty for correcting me😂 bye

#19 days #hetian #he tian #moguanshan #mo guan shan #tianshan

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oshieteacapella · 2 years

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Zhanyi AND Tianshan? feels like a double ch., thanks for working hard, OX.

Not gonna lie, this feels like a bad omen to me. And it’s a little sad that we know more about his family than he does. Dude, you’re the heir to an not so reputable empire...

Some Zhanyi for our soul. I love the way Jian Yi looks at Xixi. And how Xixi expresses her feelings towards Jian Yi through her actions, for example: praying fervently. I'm not the only one who thinks that he's also praying for Jian Yi to never leave him, right?

He Tian was so shocked that Ox had to show us this twice. He completely understands what Mo is saying, the connection and significance the piercing has with She Li but... is it gratitude? Is he seeing him like another She Li? He Tian is having none of that, and he knows Mo needs some time to recover (and he needs sleep). What I like about Mo is that he’s already moving forward even just a little, he is like that and is one of the things He Tian likes about him: despite what happened to him, he isn’t afraid to the point of being immobilized.

1) HAHAHAH He just said bye! Not to just rest, he needs a moment to think. 2) My teacher self is both still worried about Mo's homework and loving that He Tian is thinking about Mo's future problems (and what he told Mrs Mo), but darling, you're absolutely deflecting here.

THE BLUSHING. He's blushing so much. My HEART. The little touch and acting out-of-character (he can be very pushy and Mo knows that). Mo’s love language is actions/acts of service.

This was so cute. The hand in Mo’s hair, the little tug of the shirt. The implied you don’thave to hurt yourself.

Okay, I'm gonna read too much into this (and rant): 1) I said it before, the She Li implications of the piercing. He Tian already tried to reclaim that memory with the studs, and Mo protecting them so much show us that he too wants to let everything She Li in the past (and that he really cares for He Tian. FINALLY! Tian’s feelings reached him). BUT:

2) He Tian's family (not just the Hes but Mr Jian too if they are really cousins with Yi) is from the mafia, they have to show loyalty, give proofs of belonging to the group, that they will follow the leader to the end. He Tian does not want that at all, he wants the opposite: true feelings. And true feelings is something his family doesn't show at all.

We know for a fact that He Cheng loves Tian and does what he can to protect him from their father and give him space, but he can't show it (I get emotional with Cheng, look at his death grip in the qiucheng illustration, that man has never done one thing he wants in his life, must live on headaches). He is a boss (not even the big boss! His father is before him and he works for Mr Jian directly, The Real Big Boss™).

The thing is: He Tian's love language is physical touch (what he needs to receive, gift giving seems his way of showing it), he doesn't get that from his family, he needs to know people will be there and he could do that by getting Mo to do things for him (as he has done before) or ask for a more concrete proof (wearing the studs), but now he is just wishing for feelings in return, or for Mo to accept he isn’t lying about them.

He understands Mo is not quite there yet (not unless he's under real pressure). But He Tian will show him that he'll have his back always.

Which bring us to the first panel: the perpetually looming presence of Jian Yi's dissapearance™ and He Tian's going away too, perhaps because of that. (Remember the ch. Yi was abducted by He Cheng -before his promotion as I call it because he wasn’t wearing suits- and Tian found them. So one, he saw Cheng and ran behind the car... or there is a reason why they go to the same school).

[19 days ch. 372 by Old Xian | translation by @alexc1ting ]

#excuse my english #19 days #tianshan #zhanyi #old xian

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mgsdays · 3 years

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Hello!!! I’ve sent this exact message to teanshan on Tumblr but I also follow you so I wanted to share my thoughts with you as well. Hehe I hope that is okay with both of you <3 both of you always have open minded thoughts so I feel comfortable sharing these thoughts :)

I see A LOT of people mad at He tian or Mo or both of them for the lack of communication. BUT everyone is forgetting that these boys are 15 YEARS OLD!! Idk about everyone on Tumblr, but when I was 15 I hated confronting people about my feelings and talking about how I feel because It made me so vulnerable and uncomfortable. I think that’s exactly how Mo feels when talking about his problems and its also why he avoids his friends whenever he’s dealing with an issue. And also why He tian is trying his best. We know of his child hood and we also know that he struggles with serious abandonment issues. What he did was not okay, but I think that when you’re 15 and you see your *crush* struggling with issues, you want to help them immediately- you want all their pain to disappear. BUT you don’t know the implications behind your actions!! He tian has yet to understand that. He has yet to understand his privileges and why his actions were wrong in that sense, but again, we shouldn’t be too hard on him. Honestly, both the boys need to talk this out but I feel like we are going to eventually get that soon. I think we are being directed into that conversation. Two final thoughts I wanted to get out of my chest: (1) He Tian would never EVER leave Mo on bad terms. He never ever has. He has always made special moments with Mo, that a lot of friends (ZZX, JY, baldie) don’t even know about. So I believe that he will not leave Mo upset before he goes away to do whatever the hell he needs to do. (2) JY is the glue of the friend group. He always has been, he always will be. There’s always a mediator in a friend group and he honestly has that role more so than ZZX. If He tian doesn’t confront Mo about his issues (which I doubt but in a situation where he doesn’t) I 100% think that JY would talk to him too. He did so when Mo was in the hospital bed that one chapter and it was the sweetest thing ever! So yah, sorry for rambling but I needed to get this off my chest because I feel like everyone thinks these boys are adults with a full understanding of feelings and emotions. In reality of this story, we have to see these things for them to grow up as healthy adults :)

Hey darling! Thank you for sharing, I loved to hear your thoughts. I think you are dead right about He Tian's characterization.

I can't understand being angry at He Tian for this. Like??? It didn't even cross my mind. He's 15. He has no fucking clue what is going on with Mo. He knows his time is running out and he's just doing anything he can THINK of to help before he has to leave.

He Tian is trying the methods that have worked before, since he knows that Mo needs money and it usually smooths things over between them. That chapter before the picnic, where he's like 'do you only think of for my money', he's flirting and all but i think there's a real fear beneath it. He Tian is scared he's just useful to Mo right now.

Mo only accepts him through money because that's the one part that Mo can process. It's too hard for Mo to deal with the romantic feelings brewing between them. Mo can rationalize spending time helping HT through the lenses of He Tian has more money than he knows what to do with and is willing to pay me for housecleaning because he's shit at it. My boy Momo is jumping through hoops to explain to himself what he and He Tian are each to other.

Mo accepts the money because it's easier when he knows what someone wants from him. Without the money, the two of them spending time together just because Mo wants to, and because He Tian wants him to, would be way too hard on his 15-year-old emotionally closed off brain.

He Tian doesn't know all that. He's low-key scared that Mo stays for the money but his time is running out and he doesn't care if it is because of the money as long as he can fix it between them before leaving, somehow.

To me, He Tian is being completely understandable. At no point I felt angry at He Tian for this, though I do see it from Mo's point of view and understand how patronizing it is for him. It's a problem born out of miscommunication. Talking will demand emotional vulnerability and GOD knows that's hard at that age, like you well remembered, specially with their abandoment and violence issues.

I agree with JY being the glue from the group, but I'm not sure it is his place to interfere in this case. Part of the angst between HT and Mo is romantically charged. Only the two of them can fix it. Fights hurt worse coming from the other one because of the feelings they have for each other, stewing beneath the surface. Mo is already in love with He Tian. He doesn't know that he is, but he is and that is already affecring how he acts. Only talking to He Tian can ease this pain between them. Let's hope they do it before it is too late.

#fingers crossed for them talking it out 🤞🏻#again thanks for sharing!#zero problem sending asks to more than one one blogger - they will have a different view from me that can be helpful ❤#19 days #tianshan #ask box #anonymous

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3lji · 3 years

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hey honey! ♥️ and yes you know it!!! has this week been crazy for everyone? i honestly feel like i haven’t stopped all week. wishing everyone a restful weekend ☺️♥️

COSY TIANSHAN HEADCANONS!!!

- i think tian is a cosy boy as soon as he feels comfortable that mo likes him back. once they’re in an established relationship he is SO cosy. with mo, even after they’re together it might take him a little while to settle into things and allow himself to be vulnerable like that, but he cautiously begins to open up.

- i imagine them sleeping in on weekends OR even cuter - maybe it’s super rainy outside and ‘y’know what fuck it, babe, i’m callin’ in sick’ and mo is secretly delighted that he gets to spend a sleepy cosy day with tian. he’d reward him subtly by making his favourite foods and bringing him a coffee in bed.

- food has a lot to do with comfort between these two. there’s tian who loves to find special little foods for his darling, and seeing when he’s done good - that sweet little smile from mo. but mo is definitely king in this way - he shows how he loves through food. he makes tian’s favourites, he figures out NEW favourites. he’ll cook all day and act like it’s nothing but tian knows how much that shows he CARES.

- one tiny little headcanon i love is mo tenderly feeding tian. maybe a spoonful now and then - try the soup, do you want a bite of this? but also sometimes when they’re cuddling and mo has some segments of orange, you know he’s gently placing little pieces into tian’s mouth and blushing when tian presses his lips briefly to his fingers.

- tian is the cosiest person to sleep next to, just a big warm mountain that loves to cuddle (tbh) and WON’T LET GO DAMMIT. but this also extends to cuddling - mo can just sit next to tian and without meaning to it turns into cuddling. tian can’t ever keep his hands to himself but this turns into his arms and hands and feet and lips and he’s suddenly an octopus that has attached itself to guan shan in every possible way. mo finds it very comforting haha - he’d hate to admit it but sleeping any other way feels like the loneliest thing in the world. if he grabs a coffee with a friend, sitting by himself on the bench feels COLD and BEREFT because that damn HE TIAN has made him get used to being snuggled always.

- sharing clothes is ALWAYS cosy. for mo guan shan that means stealing big jumpers and sweaters that smell musky, whether it’s because of how cosy it feels or because he wants to be reminded of he tian. although i think those two things are connected. for tian he usually likes stealing mo’s scarves or little things that reminds him of guan shan in the day. his gloves and sometimes his socks (which DEEPLY annoys him). unfortunately for tian he doesn’t comfortably fit in a great deal of mo’s clothes. but god knows that doesn’t stop him trying (i can just imagine mo fuming because he’s found a sweater of his with holes at the seam and he KNOWS tian has been wearing it even if he pretends he hasn’t).

- i have a (one of many) unfinished fic where tian and mo suddenly realise how CLINGY they are (how did they not realise sooner lmao). they’re so comfortable and cosy together they really don’t realise how much they touch. in the train their fingers mesh together, hidden in the folds of their jackets. as they climb the escalator, tian links their pinky fingers because he can’t quite live without even the smallest reassurance mo is there.

- i imagine when tian is cold he just goes to bother mo, putting his hands under mo’s shirt and cuddling up against his back - whether he’s sleeping, cooking, watching tv whatever lol. when mo is cold he’ll refuse to go and look for tian to warm him up and just ends up shivering with several pairs of socks on and three jumpers. when tian finds him like that he knows it’s time to warm his lover up.

- don’t you think endearments are cosy? for tian it’s extensive - baby, darling, shanshan. but for mo it’s a little trickier. it’s YEARS until he manages tian tian - which gives him a heart attack. but i also think he’d really wish to speak sweetly to tian like that (which names do you think would work best??) but he doesn’t know how to start! in its place mo will instead always talk very proudly of tian - my partner, my fiancé, my husband etc whenever he’s mentioned and hope this is enough.

- idk if these are still cosy headcanons lmao but i just think they’re so close to one another (again, without realising lol) that every little thing they do speaks of the trust and love between them. mo guan shan reaching across tian so he can put a little salt on a dish for him (because mo knows how he likes it best) or to offer him a bite of his food because he thinks he’ll like it. just these little actions speak of so much love. for tian i think it’s so cosy and sweet that he’d worry over mo - worry he doesn’t have an umbrella or a coat and go out of his way to make sure he’s warm and dry and safe. they show their love a little differently but it always speaks to how much they care for one another ♥️

#tianshan #19 days #he tian #mo guan shan #LONG POST #SRY #headcanons #i’m rly excited for the new chapter what about you all?#i hope it makes me cry!#ty for sending questions i have another i need to answer too! xox

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yaoimania101 · 4 years

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PSA!! RANT INCOMING * trigger warning *

So, this is something I wanted to point out for a while now but this special chapter seems to be the perfect occasion...

As much as I love Tianshan and their dynamic, and how their relationships evolves with time, I absolutely cannot bring myself to like the “ threat of violence” that sometimes he tian display when “bullying” Little MO.( I put theses in “” because, yes I do understand that he doesn’t really intend to do anything he doesn’t like, or hurt him but it still not ok)

We all know ( and he tian too) how much abuse Mo got from -that Goddamn no good snake- She Li, and it’s clearly triggering for him to be forced into thing or being threatened.

I usually don’t mind their little banter, and the fact that he tian sometimes teases little Mo , but usually it’s all fun and games and they both know it, but Mo cannot be a thousand pourcent sure about that all the time - or at least not yet- since mind you their relationship started on the bases of violence.

That’s why I feel like sometimes we see little MO feeling some type of way ( just like in this chapter where he looked a bit like he was scared / or even getting teary)

Now I have to give props to my Good Boy he tian for recognizing that he might have taken things a bit to far and apologizing almost immediately while trying to de-escalate the situation and to make little Mo feel better ( by kissing and acting as lovey-dovey as usual and mo also look like he is better or at least not as scared/ unwell as before and even blush’s a little bit as he tian teases him more).

I also feel like this is a good example of the fact that even though their relationship it’s evolving it’s still a work in progress ( because we can sometimes feel like they are getting along perfectly fine and they accustomed to each other already), and I like the fact that we can see that he tian is clumsy in his behavior and actions ( don’t really know the limits, or how to properly fully interact with Mo in all situations) but his attentions are good and he often tries to proceed with as much caution as he can, and pays attention and picks up on little things ( just like he saw that MO was feeling uncomfortable/ not ok and was taking it seriously and immediately stopped and apologized). And I love how MO can now show a bit more of how he is feeling in the moment instead of repressing his emotions ( uncomfortable, unsafe, blushing ...etc)

I KNOW THIS IS A BIT Of A LONG RANT ! But Anyways I just wanted to get that of my chest.

#mo guan shan #old xian #he tian #tianshan #19 days #manhua #he tian x mo guan shan #lets talk #rant #serious talk #might be triggering #this is just my thoughts #personal opinion

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mercyandmagic · 3 years

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Hi, mercyandmagic, do you mind if I ask a few questions?

Who is your fav main couple in mxtx novels (wangxian or hualian or bingqiu)? And why?

Who are your fav side couple (don't have to be canon) in mxtx novels (in each of the 3 novels)? And why?

Sorry if you have answered the questions before...

Absolutely!

1. Wangxian have a special place in my heart. The way they play on the ‘enemies-to-lovers’ trope at the start, and then you keep reading and realize Wei Wuxian is an unreliable narrator, Lan Wangji struggles to communicate, and they were NEVER enemies... It’s sweet and beautiful. And funny, given Wei Wuxian’s timely and flawlessly real, heartfelt, and utterly inappropriate confession.

That being said, I also adore Hualian and Bingqiu.

2. Side-pairings, eh?

Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System

Moshang? Moshang. Adorable, cute, funny.

Tian Guan Ci Fu

This one is hard. Fengqing for sure, because they are so bitter and angry and how exactly is that not a front for their actual strong feelings? But also Beefleaf. It hurts so much, and I just want them to find a way forward and heal.

Mo Dao Zu Shi

Xiyao. I still can’t believe that MXTX didn’t intend there to be romantic feelings between them. Like, sure, there was no actionable romance because Jin Guangyao was married and they would not have an affair, but... the fact that the “Banquet” extra has Wei Wuxian reflect that the situations with Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji are “exactly reversed” from when he died and Lan Wangji was in seclusion? How???

Anyhow, I love Xiyao because they bring out the best in each other – how Lan Xichen truly looks at people’s hearts, not their origins. And it’s my firm belief that Jin Guangyao is not hiding his true colors when he’s with Lan Xichen; rather, he’s exactly who he wants to be when he’s with Lan Xichen. (There’s a long meta swirling in my mind on how power reveals rather than corrupts, and once Jin Guangyao is Chief Cultivator, his actions are for the most part tellingly good... Maybe I’ll write it someday).

Unfortunately, Lan Xichen’s avoidance and Jin Guangyao’s acting skills undo it all and... my heart...

#xiyao #wangxian #mdzs #mo dao zu shi #tgcf #tian guan ci fu #svsss #fengqing #beefleaf #hualian #moshang #bingqiu

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notthatiwilleverwriteit · 3 years

Note

idk if you’ve ever been asked this but what do you think is the boys love languages??? i think MGS is (secretly) cooking and words of affirmation. the other 3 boys...im not really sure so i would love to see another opinion on this <3

Hello, dear anon!

Oh, these kinda asks are always so fun!

I’m not really familiar with the different types, so I did the 5 love languages test on HERE while pretending to answer in character. The site asks you to pick between two different options based on what would be more meaningful for you. Sometimes it was hard to pick if I felt like neither choice really fit the character, but I tried to go for the one that fit better. In the end, the site gives you percentages of how the different types are represented in you.

Click on the pictures for better quality!

Mo Guan Shan

According to the site, MGS’s love language is acts of service (33%) and words of affirmation (30%). I could see MGS appreciating if someone he loves/cares about does something for him. He is a very proud person and insists on being independent, but I think he also wants everyone to do their part. As someone who also works hard, he would appreciate other’s effort. MGS also seems to prefer actions over words when he wants to show affection. He cooks, cleans, and offers concrete ways to help someone.

I was surprised that words of affirmation came out this high as well but I suppose it fits him too. Despite everything, I think he likes to hear praises and appreciation. Because of his trust issues, I could see MGS think that actions matter more than words. But I think words still affect him a lot and saying something positive to him means a surprisingly lot to him.

He Tian

HT was probably the hardest one to do this with. In the end, he came out as physical touch (40%) and quality time (27%). We all know how touchy-feely HT is, and I think touch is a very important way to show and receive love/affection/attention for him. If he’s worried, he touches for reaffirmation. If he’s scared, he wants physical comfort. If he’s happy or affectionate, he grabs a hold of you and holds you close. He doesn't like being physically apart if it can be avoided.

Another thing is that I think HT appreciates quality time. He enjoys undivided attention (both giving and receiving) when he’s being with the person he cares about. It doesn't have to be anything grand, just being around them is enough for him. In fact, it’s probably the mundane time spent together that he loves the most.

Jian Yi

JY also turned out to be physical touch (33%) and quality time (30%) but just spread more evenly. I think this combination fits him, too. JY likes touching (ZZX) but I would say it’s more about showing his love and affection. Physical contact isn’t his go-to for every need he has. But he does get a lot of reaffirmation out of well-timed physical touching, too. If he’s feeling insecure, small touch can do wonders for him.

His percentages were almost tied with quality time. I think also JY has that need for undivided attention like HT but JY’s vibe is a bit different. Both HT and JY suffer in loneliness, but JY is like a sun that withers by himself. He comes to life and shines in company, especially if it’s with his loved ones (ZZX). According to JY, the best things are probably done with the person you love, so go on an adventure with them!

Zhan Zheng Xi

ZZX came out similar to JY but just flipped around: quality time (37%) and physical touch (33%). To be honest, most of that description doesn't really connect with ZZX in my head, but I still think the quality time category fits him. ZZX shows love by spending time with you - whether it’s doing some activity or just hanging out. He doesn't demand your undivided attention but if you find yourself hanging out with him regularly, you most probably matter to him a lot.

I would say physical touch fits him too, although more in the giving sense. ZZX isn’t probably that comfortable with receiving a lot of physical contact (depending on the giver, I suppose). But I think physical touch is a surprisingly big part of him showing love, affection and giving comfort. He doesn't necessarily touch you often but when he does, it’s when you realize that you had really needed it.

Thank you for this fun question, dear anon!

Do you guys think these are accurate? What types do you think the boys are?

#19 days #mo guan shan #he tian #jian yi #zhang zheng xi #answered ask

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unforth · 3 years

Note

Hello unforth! Thank you for your wonderful blog, and the the untamed art blog!! I followed you years ago for destiel, and you were one of the people that got me into the untamed. I watched it last summer and have been binging various cdramas ever since!! I had a question for you about reading. After watching the untamed I read the novel, and didn’t enjoy it as much as I thought I would. I think you’re someone who prefers the show, but if not, sorry if I’m remembering wrong… hoping you understand. I want to try reading other novels but I found the romance in mdzs to be kinda off. I guess I’m wondering if you have a recommendation for the best novel you’ve read so far? It would be great if it’s one with fanfic but if not I’m still curious to try! I hope this didn’t come off as rude about the untamed, it’s just a personal preference. Thanks in advance, and thanks again for all your work in fandom!

Howdy! *waves*

You have not misremembered, I definitely prefer the Untamed to the novel of MDZS (and I'm with you, no shade on people with different preferences, of course!). I also didn't enjoy the novel of MDZS as much as I thought I would, though I think some of that was because I read the Exiled Rebels Scanalations translation which - again, no shade, translating that was a HUGE job and kudos to them - but I do here from native speakers that some questionable translation choices were made, which can detract from some people's enjoyment of the novel (and can enhance other people's, it just depends how those translation choices relate to each person's personal likes and dislikes).

Now, I can tell you what I've read and what I've thought of each one, happily - I don't know what turned you off about MDZS specifically, beyond an aspect of the relationship dynamic, so it'll be hard for me to say which of these might appeal to you more? But, here's a list of which danmei novels I've read, and my opinion. The list is shorter than you'd think - danmei novels are long and I read slow, lol.

Note that all of these end happy, for various definitions of "happy," and the main ship is canon in all of them. Also note that I tried to avoid spoilers, but sometimes it's hard to even talk about the ship dynamic without some mild spoilers.

These are (roughly) in the order I've read them; I just finished the last a few days ago. All art is by the official artists, but I'm not always sure what their names are, sorry - I've tried to figure them out for my art blogs but it's REALLY hard.

1. Mo Dao Zu Shi, by MXTX.

(since I'm writing this post for you, and you're already familiar with it, I'm not putting in TW and plot)

My take: I figure knowing my opinion of MDZS will help you assess all this? There are things I loved about MDZS, including the book, but MDZS is still obviously trying to figure out pacing. Whereas in SVSSS, the storyline doesn't always flow that smoothly and the ending is rushed, in MDZS in my opinion the biggest issue is that she clearly didn't plan some things ahead. For example, Miangmian and Wen Ning are both introduced within a few pages of when they'll be needed to Do Shit. It shows that she hadn't quite worked everything out as she was going, and every once in a while was like, "shit shit I need a character for this thing" and hastily added them. The plot itself is better paced, though, though I could have wished for a less talky denouement. When it was the only one I read, I also often thought, "this author doesn't understand consent," and, "this author has kinks I don't share." Now that I've read all three of her books, I completely retract the first one. MXTX absolutely understands consent, and was intentionally playing with it in MDZS. Not sure if the evidence of that got lost in translation, or what, but...yeah.

Relationship Dynamic: ...the second of those opinions, I still kinda feel. The consensual non-con is just not really my thing, like I'm okay with it in small doses? And I don't love some aspects of Lan Wangji's domineering attitudes and Wei Wuxian's act of bare tolerating it. And don't get me wrong, now that I'm more familiar with her work, I think it was an intentional writing choice and I also think they're both largely roleplaying it a lot of the time...but I still don't personally enjoy it much.

2. Scum Villain Self-Saving System, by MXTX.

Genre: modern transmigration into a fantasy xianxia world.

Where to find it: English translation by BC Novels | donghua season 1

Trigger warnings for: graphic descriptions of suffering, non-con of the "fuck or die" variety, and body horror...I can't think of anything else rn?)

Plot: SVSSS is MXTX's first novel, and is a satire of classic stag harem novels. Shen Yuan, the protagonist and half the main ship, is reading a serialized web novel by "Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky" about a demon named Luo Binghe who has a harem of over 3,000 women and has done all kinds of ghastly awful things. He hates this novel but has read all, like, 3 million words of it or something, and trolls every chapter...until one gets him so angry that he dies...and then he wakes up in the book right around when the book starts, in the body of one of the early antagonists, a cultivator named Shen Qingqiu who abuses a young, innocent Luo Binghe physically and emotionally and, ultimately, is horribly tortured to death. Shen Yuan, in Shen Qingqiu's body, thus sets out to not be horribly tortured to death by Luo Binghe. Hijinks ensue.

My Take: In terms of my opinion of it...SVSSS secured for me that MXTX is a much more brilliant author than I thought when I'd only read MDZS. She understands tropes and subverts them brilliantly throughout the story, and from a writing standpoint, I was impressed with her. However, from a plot standpoint...she's got all the ideas but hasn't, imo, yet figured out how exactly to bring them all together. The pacing is off at times, and the ending felt abrupt to me. It's also the only danmei I've read where I ship a side ship more than the primary one (which is, of course, Shen Yuan (as Shen Qingqiu)/Luo Binghe. (also, oops...I read SVSSS after TGCF and just put them in the wrong order, oh well, not gonna change it now.)

Relationship Dynamic: In terms of relationship weirdness...it's hard to sort in that regard, because, like, it's supposed to be weird? I think it's a really interest book but I'm not sure I'd recommend it in your situation. Bingqiu's main dynamic is...uh...tolerance and obsession? They're kinda hard to describe. Shen Yuan often seems like he's just kinda putting up with Luo Binghe, whereas Luo Binghe is...god. So hard to describe, lmao. He's a big clumsy ox in a museum full of porcelain dishes and he really, really loves his Shizun. (also note that Shen Qingqiu is Luo Binghe's teacher. They don't get together until after they're not master/student, but if that's not your thing, another reason to avoid.)

3. Tian Guan Ci Fu, by MXTX.

(art is by Starember)

Genre: historical China (loosely), xianxia (note that I'm still figuring out exactly how stuff gets classified so sorry if I get one wrong, but I think I kinda get it???)

Where to Access It: English Translation by the astonishing yummysuika | manhua (this is an official translation by Bilibili! It's a few chapters behind the actual release, but still...) | donghua season 1 is on Netflix | a live action adaptation is juuuuust getting started on script reading and filing

Trigger warnings for: MCD, temporary MCD, body horror, graphic violence, epic levels of mind fuckery, uh...genocide?...again, racism/colorism, probably other stuff, sorry, I can't take as long as I'd like to for this post so I'm not being as thorough as I oughta be.

Plot: TGCF is about Xie Lian, an 800 year old man, and it commences at the moment when, unexpectedly, he ascends to godhood...for the third time. Unfortunately, when he ascends, he accidentally does some damage in Heaven, and he has to repay that, so he gets sent back to earth to deal with a ghost who's been causing some problems. Hijinks ensue...and then fucktons of angst ensue...then more hijinks...then more angst...and basically it broke my heart like four times and I am grateful for it every day? The main ship is Xie Lian and a ghost named Hua Cheng, but it's hard to even talk about without some spoilers because of some identity shenanigans. (they're VERY mildly identity shenanigans, but still).

My Take: So, you asked what my favorite of the danmei novels I've read is? It's TGCF. TGCF is one of my favorite novels ever, and it has a growing fandom, a donghua that's on Netflix, and a live action that's just starting to film. TGCF is the culmination of the skills MXTX developed through her first two works, imo. She clearly plotted it out all from the start, and while Book 1 especially often seems kind of random - lots of elements are introduced and then kinda...apparently...forgotten? And never explained? But she actually DOES bring it ALL together and it's flat-out masterful. I'm a big fan, obviously.

Relationship Dynamic: it again depends on your preferences and what you didn't like about MDZS, and there's no way to talk about it without spoilers, so consider yourselves warned. Xie Lian ascended to godhood first at the age of 17, and right around then he also saved the life of a 10 year old boy...and that boy is Hua Cheng. Hua Cheng is a follower of Xie Lian's, in that Xie Lian is literally a god, and Hua Cheng is literally one of his followers. However, they're separated for almost 800 years, so the age difference is largely irrelevant, and while some people complain about Hua Cheng's behavior being stalkery and obsessive, I honestly think they're dead wrong. It's more like when you read a celebrity/fan AU, and it starts weird, and then they really genuinely fall in love. Like, the fan may have been in love the whole time, and how they felt about the celebrity before they really met might feel slightly ooky, but it's how they act AFTER they meet their idol that matters more, and...yeah, Hua Cheng is great, they're both great, antis fight me. Xie Lian is easily one of my favorite characters EVER, he is all my favorite tropes in one horribly, wonderfully fucked up martyristic idealistic sweet kind laid back package. I would kill for him, lmao. In terms of their relationship dynamic...they love and respect each other? There's really nothing that weird about it other than the aspects of the "fan" Hua Cheng that get revealed over time - and he's always terrified that when Xie Lian realizes what a fanboy he was, Xie Lian will be upset or disgusted, but of course Xie Lian never is. They adore each other. It's glorious. Highly recommend. :D There's also no explicit content in TGCF (unlike MXTX's other two books).

4. The Husky and His White Cat Shizun (aka 2ha) by Meatbun Doesn't Eat Meat.

Genre: original world, xianxia, time travel, dimension hopping, it's so many things, 2ha is so hard to describe lmao

Where to Access it: English Translation by the amazing yummysuika (things are complicated, though, and it's not finished) | a manhua is in the works and should be out this year | a live action called "Hao Yixing" or "Immortality" is already filmed and could theoretically air literally any time cause it's completely ready, but when will it actually come? Who knows!

Trigger warnings: all of them. Literally. MCD, temporary MCD, murder, suicide, suicidal ideation, suicide attempt, rape/non-con, abuse, manipulation, gas lighting, torture, graphic violence, body horror, literal graphic onscreen horrible blood murder of a small child (I had to skip that chapter), teacher/student relationship sort of but not exactly, probably other stuff, this book is dark as fuck, and a lot of these tags apply to behavior of one half of the main ship toward the other, but...it's complicated, and there are reasons things happen, and those reasons aren't "well they're just a bad person."

Plot: This is another one that's hard to describe because there's sooooo much mind fuckery going on, but I'll try. 2ha is about Mo Ran, who rises to be the Emperor of the World, Taxian Jun, but slaughtering all who oppose him...and who is so miserable that he commits suicide, only to wake up in his 16 year old body. This is pretty much perfect from Mo Ran's point of view, because he's gone back so far that the love of his life, his fellow disciple Shi Mei, is still alive. He has a chance to fix everything that went wrong, starting with preventing his awful evil Shizun, Chu Wanning, from letting Shi Mei die.

Spoilers: the main ship in this book is Mo Ran/Chu Wanning.

Hijinks do NOT ensue. There are no hijinks in 2ha. It is all pain all the time (but I swear it ends happy).

My Take: ...well, from a structural standpoint there are some pacing issues. The book is incredibly long (over 300 chapters, over 1 million words) and there are definitely some chunks that could just be excised and it'd still be fine. However, other than that, it's pretty amazing and absolutely masterful how it's plotted. As a reader you'll spend 100+ chapters thinking you know what's going on, and who the good guys are, and who the bad guys are, and how they relate to each other...and then Meatbun starts in on revealing what's ACTUALLY going on and she then spends 200 chapters repeatedly punching you in the face! Like, I went in knowing a LOT of spoilers, because the tags were so dark that I felt that for my mental health it was important I have a general idea what was going on, and I STILL ended up sobbing my eyes out (and I am NOT an easy crier and don't usually cry at books) over something I knew was coming.

Relationship Dynamic: That's about the only thing that the title accurately conveys about this book. "The Husky and His White Cat Shizun," sounds so soft and fluffy, right? That's how they get you, ha. But, Mo Ran is absolutely a big dumb husky who wants to do the right thing (well, sometimes he does) but just completely fails depressingly often. When he sees someone he likes come in the front door he WILL jump all over them and bark in their face as his way of trying to communicate affection. And Chu Wanning is equally absolutely a cat. He is emotionally constipated, poor at expressing himself, uptight, touch starved, desperate for affection, and so lonely my chest hurts when I think about him. And for how they relate to each other...well, picture that big dog greeting a loved one at the door...except that loved one is the most hide-bound proud white cat you can imagine.

That's their dynamic.

(However, also...there are multiple timelines at play, and Taxian Jun does some truly awful things to "his" Chu Wanning in the original timeline, and many of these things are graphically described, and while it's ultimately all explained, it still all HAPPENS, so if you're going to have trouble reading fucktons of abuse between the main ship, I would not recommend this book)

5. Thousand Autumns (Qianqiu) by Meng Xi Shi.

Genre: historical China (like, references actual people, as far as I can tell), xianxia

Where to Access it: ...reading Thousand Autumns is HARD, it's split over like four websites/translators. This Carrd can kinda help? I can get you the rest if you want | donghua season 1 | I heard there's a live action in the works? But I don't know more than that.

Trigger warnings: graphic violence, mentions/threats of sexual violence (but it's all stopped before things really go wrong), starvation, description of child death (from starvation), near-death, emotional/mental abuse, major semi-permanent character injury, god, minor character death, they're major characters depending on your pov, I can't actually think of others, after writing about 2ha it feels positively fluffy). Note that there's not really any explicit content, just implications of smut, and not til basically the very end and extras.

Plot: Yan Wushi, sect leader of a demonic sect, has just come out of an extended seclusion to improve his cultivation when he and one of his disciples come across a man who is wounded to the point of near death. This turns out to be Shen Qiao, the sect leader of Mount Xuandu. When Shen Qiao awakens from his wounds, he's lost his memory, AND he's blind, and Yan Wushi decides it would be great fun and an excellent use of his time to fuck with Shen Qiao by trying to turn him evil - because Yan Wushi is certain that ALL people are inherently evil, and shattering Shen Qiao's veneer of righteousness will just help prove that.

Spoilers: it's not a veneer.

Not spoilers: Not many hijinks ensue, but there are a few hijinks, and even when it's not hijinxed, it's still not that painful...usually.

My Take: despite that synopsis, a lot of the plot of Thousand Autumns is actually political, and I like political plots, so I liked that aspect of it. However, it has some serious pacing issues imo, and it's also hard to read in English atm because it's not fully translated; it's close, now, much closer than when I read it a few months ago, so it'll be easier to read soon. Or maybe I shouldn't say it's pacing problems, but rather, it's more of a sequence of multiple major plots, strung together, with the growing relationship between Yan Wushi and Shen Qiao playing out in the background. I think if I'd known there was no "one big plot" that would have actually helped me, because it kept feeling like, "Oh, THIS is the main thing," but it never was. Things would feel climactic...except then there'd be more. So it's probably better to actually think of it as more...episodic? And the episodes/stories build, and interrelate, and do have a culmination, but not all of them directly tie in, and not all the threads end up coming together/getting resolved.

Relationship Dynamic: early on, Yan Wushi is definitely abusive and manipulative, intentionally so, and I would argue that, imo, Shen Qiao falls for it. However, mid-way through, there's some big reveals, and after that when they're reunited Shen Qiao no longer takes any shit and Yan Wushi continues to act like he doesn't care even when he clearly does. They're not a typical ship in ANY WAY, and I'd say their relationship is more founded on mutual respect than on love. Indeed, in the author's notes at one point MXS actually says they doesn't see them as the kind of couple to ever exchange love declarations, and I thought that was really interesting and it really helped me to understand how they worked together because I'll own I struggled with at times. Yan Wushi is self-interested, often cruel, and ethically and morally dubious. Shen Qiao, on the other hand, could probably ascend to Daoist godhood, he's so pure. Yet...they DO work. I'd say "opposites attract" but that's ALSO not their main trope, not exactly. They're a VERY hard ship to explain, and I know some people who've read the whole book and still don't really...get them...and I've had to really think about them to wrap my head around them...but the more I've thought about them, the more I like them.

6. Those Years in Quest of Honor Mine by Man Man He Qi Duo.

Genre: historical fiction set in either actual China or make-believe China, I'm not sure if this is directly incorporated any real people

Where to Access It: English Translation by Perpetual Daydreams | manhua (untranslated, I'm not sure if there's anyone translating it into English) | I think there's a live action in the works? Not sure beyond that though.

Trigger Warnings: suicide attempts, suicidal ideation, drug addiction, drug abuse, chronic illness (different character than the drugs), manipulation, abusive, awful parents and parental figures (not all, but definitely some), some homophobia (but way less than there could have been), probably other stuff

Plot: After 7 years away, Zhong Wan returns to the capital of the Empire with the three children of his benefactor, the seven-years-dead Prince Ning. Prince Ning was executed for treason against the previous Emperor, and Zhong Wan has done all he can to protect and raise the three kids, but he's got a lot of worries about returning to the capital and what could happen to his charges if they get pulled into the politics surrounded the Emperor. But, even worse, he's got even more worries about being reunited with Yu She, nephew of the Emperor, with whom he has more than a little history...and about whom he has been lying for the past 7 years, claiming that he is Yu She's lover, in a bid to help use Yu She's reputation to protect Prince Ning's children.

Hijinks ensue.

And so does a political nightmare.

My Take: TYQHM was a hard book to get into because there are just so many characters and it's all about politics - this is NOT a xianxia or wuxia novel, and these characters are NOT cultivators. There's basically nothing supernatural in the whole book; instead, it's about Zhong Wan and Yu She figuring out their own histories, and accepting each other, while trying to survive in a political world that increasingly wants both of them dead. However, I adore political plots, and when all was said and done I really enjoyed it, and I'm trying tooth and nail to claw other people into the fandom with me, so far with basically no success. It only has like 15 works in English on AO3. And so not only does it not fit that requirement of yours...

Relationship Dynamic: ...I think you would also probably not like the relationship dynamic? Zhong Wan is a bit like Wei Wuxian-as-Mo Xuanyu, except more...genuinely? Like, it's his actual personality, not an act, in quite the same way. I don't mean the "flamboyantly gay" part...usually...he definitely has his moments...but he's just...like, he's been through so much that he'll basically say anything, and drag himself entirely through the mud, to distract people who might hurt the three kids (they're like 16, 13, 13, now I think? It was never THAT clear to me, tbh...certainly, all are at least 10...) and, later, Yu She. He has zero face, and doesn't mind having negative face when he feels the situation demands it...and Yu She, on the other hand, has MAJOR depression issues, is sure he deserves nothing, and mostly wants to destroy everyone around him and then kill himself, at least until Zhong Wan starts giving him a reason to live again. But, more than that...Zhong Wan is like the fucking epitome of a bratty subby bottom. He wants to get fucked SO bad. And Yu She is an incredibly reluctant dom, hilariously so at times, uncomfortably/manipulative so at others. When all was said and done, I was pretty fond of them both, but there were definitely moments that made me grimace, and given what you say of how you felt about MDZS, I think this one is less likely to be to your taste?

Bonus 7: Guardian by Priest. I never finished the novel version of Guardian because the translation had some issues that caused me not to enjoy it, so I won't get into it too much, but again, Guardian is a very different book than any of the others, because it's modern fantasy(ish, like, it's still deeply embedded in Daoist-related tropes but it's more "magic spells" and less "cultivation." Like, in terms of what it's like, it felt more like Japanese modern Onmyoji style stories, to me, than it felt like the ancient Chinese wuxia/xianxia cultivation stories.). I'm not gonna get into lots of details, because I read part of the book more than a year ago, and have seen the show (which is VERY different) like three times, so I can hardly even remember what they're like in the novel. There was definitely some weirdness, though? If you're potentially interested, I'd suggest starting with the drama instead. The plot for that is...

Plot: Zhao Yunlan heads a Special Investigation Unit in the human world tasked with maintaining a treaty between humans and the dixigren ("undergrounders") who are (in the show) aliens (in the book...it's the world of the dead). While doing this job, he keeps running into this professor, Shen Wei, who definitely knows more than he oughta.

Hijinks ensue.

And then it murders you with feels.

The live action streams from YouTube - here.

(Warning: uh, I don't want to give spoilers, but my "guaranteed happy ending" does NOT apply to the Guardian TV show...but it does apply to the book, as I understand it.)

Anyway, this was a terrible use of my time but it was definitely more fun than what I should be doing, and it's probably way more information than you wanted or needed, but since I wasn't sure what exactly you had in mind, I figured...might as well be thorough?

(Today's hyper-focus fail: this post, ha...)

#unforth rambles #i'm not gonna tag the fandoms because i give my own opinions #some of which aren't all THAT positive #i think it's best if I don't just dump that into the main tags

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violetteviolence · 4 years

Text

alright but like listen yall, He Tian just wants so desperately to be loved????

like, him and his brother dont seem to know their mother, shes either dead or simply gone from their lives since early childhood

his relationship with his father is cold, distant, and downright hostile. his father pays him zero attention, weve never even seen them in a room together. and the only time he speaks directly to he tian is after he purposefully acts out negatively to get his dads attention. he tian clearly despises his father for being so absent and caring so little for him.

his relationship with Cheng USED to be good, he cared for Tian and was the only one who was always there for him and Tian loved him deeply. and then Cheng purposely severs that relationship when he lies and says he killed Tians dog on their father's orders. Cheng betrays him in that moment and it shatters Tians entire worldview. the only person he ever trusted, his big brother, his protector, betrays him and hurts someone he loved.

so He Tian decides in that moment not to trust people anymore. when we first meet him he has no friends, no other family, no one he cares for and no real relationships to speaks of at all. hes alone and away from his brother and father.

when he meets Mo and takes a liking to him, u can tell its not a serious interest at first. he messes with Mo and hangs around him but he never actually allows himself to be close to Mo. he never tells Mo any personal or private details. but then he learns more about Mo as a person and he genuinely begins to care about him. he admires him and his ideals, He Tian then decides to protect him, most likely in an attempt to show that hes not like his father and brother. that he is a person who protects others, like Mo, as opposed to someone who hurts those who love them, like his family. He Tian desperately wants to be good but believes he fundamentally isnt. his whole "I am in the darkness while ur in the light" speech he gives Mo in the hallway shows this. so he still keeps Mo at arms length from him and his life. he still isnt allowing himself to be vulnerable

and then, AND THEN He Tian in a moment of absolute desperation, because the underlying emotion and reason for all his actions is a deep longing to be loved and cared for, he goes to Mo because he has nowhere else and hes vulnerable in front of him. he has a nightmare and Mo is worried about him, he doesnt hurt or leave Tian when hes vulnerable, doesnt push him away for being weak. and then there are more and more of these moments. Tian is vulnerable, weak, and open with Mo, and Mo never betrays him. even when Tian confesses to Mo that hes not a good person, that they dont share the same ideals in that way Mo shows that he genuinely cares for him, that he'll accept him as he is and He Tian cant help but fall madly in love with this boy who finally actually loves him. who really genuinely cares for him. this good guy who has morals and ideals and who tries so hard to protect the things he loves and "hold up the world" and he cares about He Tian.

He Tian has been desperate for love and acceptance his whole life and now that hes finally found someone who cares about him he decides to dedicate his life to protecting him no matter what the cost. he'll fight She Li bare handed and sic his brother on Mo's family mob debts and get Mo jobs and make sure he has food to eat everyday. he'll fist fight 15 guys in alley and pay Mos hospital bills, he'll learn guitar in a week just so he can teach Mo and buy him black stud earrings to help rewrite and heal the hurt of an old wound.

He Tian would burn the whole world down for Mo Guan Shan and he wouldn't even have to ask him. all because Mo cared enough to love him. and that's fucking beautiful yall

#19 days #tianshan #he tian #mo guan shan #19days #jack.speaks #sorry i wrote a novel about tianshan but like also im not #im v emotional about he tian #long post

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seiji-amasawa · 4 years

Text

She Li and Mo’s relation theory

Call me crazy, impulsive, or whatever; but I have this theory about Mo’s and She Li’s “relationship”. Not much explicit information to support it, but since chapter 283 I couldn’t stop thinking about it; and this recent chapter got me thinking more about it.

—

Before I get into this theory let me just explain something first:

From the very beginning of the series we’ve known She Li is a sadistic jerk towards others—Mo especially and specifically. She Li’s fascination with Mo specifically has always been odd to me and I’m sure many other readers—and that’s a question on all our minds, I know. We know that She Li has, can, and may do(ne) pretty vindictive and malevolent actions in the past, present, and future. And we see that proven many times through the series; from picking fights, to pulling a shank, to piercing Mo’s ear with a thumbtack, etc. And of course, we’ve seen Mo’s fair share of these ordeals.

My point being that we don’t know the extend of what he’s willing to do to others. My theory includes some points that may be considered far beyond what She Li’s character may do or far too extensive to what Mo has been through. However, time and time again he has made us question the extent of his cruel deeds and how far he’s willing to push himself past the label of a psychopath to get what he wants. So please don’t @ me about how far-fetched and controversial this may sound because I am well aware of it.

With that being said and out of the way, let’s get to the meat of this whole theory:

❗️My theory is that Mo was assaulted, not just verbal and physically, but also sexually—by She Li in the past. ❗️

And that’s the controversial part of my theory.

Could and would She Li ever go to as far length as to sexually assault Mo?

In my opinion, yes, as again, we don’t know the lengths he’s willing to go. We've never seen any instances of She Li controlling himself from being impulsive and violent. Never any instance that he’s shown guilt for what he’s done.

—

Let‘ s talk about Mo for a little bit and how his actions play a role in confirming my theory.

As many may know, any expression of intimacy towards Mo has resulted in Mo backing away in disgust, anger, and even in some instances traumatized. All instances I’m referring to are mainly from He Tian. I’m not going to dive deep into weather Tianshan itself is a heathy/canon relationships, if HT is the one who traumatized Mo, or even if Mo is just conflicted on his own sexual orientation. I’m mainly for using these instances as a reference for Mo’s reactions towards intimate actions.

The first and one of the biggest events we see Mo react to is the infamous Tianshan kiss in chapter 174-175;

And we all know how that went down.

(Another example may be in chapter 311 but for now my focus is drawn to chapter 174-175)

Mo’s reaction is understandable in this situation and there could be many reasons as to why he reacts in such a manner. I’ve seen some theories that suggest Mo just might hate saliva or is a huge germaphobe. However, when I first read this chapter the initial thought in my mind was ‘Mo sure is mortified by just one kiss,’. The germaphobe theory is quite plausible but a bigger theme is Mo’s conflicting sexuality that is teased throughout the comic (i.e. chapter 307 and chapter 222).

Do I think this has something to do with his reaction? Yes. There’s no denying that it is a major factor in his reaction. But do I think that’s entirely the case? No, I do not.

For someone who is conflicted on their sexuality, and believe me I talk from experience, this extreme reaction can be taken either two ways: 1.) he’s extremely opposed to the fact that he may be gay, whether that be implemented through his past and/or environment, or 2.) he has PTSD from his past about intimacy. In this theory, I’m focusing on the latter.

And that’s where She Li comes into the equation.

—

The part about this recent chapter that really got me thinking is not She Li chasing Mo, but the box on page 4 where She Li tells Mo “It’s such a rare meeting, why don’t you come with me?”

Notice She Li’s hand placement. He’s holding Mo’s jacket in a somewhat weird way.

She Li could either just be holding Mo back, which is a strange way of doing so. I would think he would grab Mo’s arms and hold him, but instead he’s somewhat....gentle about it? It’s super weird seeing She Li act in a non-harsh manner as he does now. A how he could be trying to hold Mo back

Implying something entirely different....(She Li’s dialogue in this box doesn’t delude my suspicions any less)

And look at Mo’s face too. It’s almost as if he knows what’s gonna happen, and almost like he expects it to happen.

One more thing—

If She Li just came to fight with Mo, why would he try to get Mo to come with him and dilly-dally? In the past he never cared where he’d pick a fight. In the school yard, at the basketball court. The fact that people were around never bothered She Li until now. And I bet my money that She Li was just following Mo, so why confront him at a train station? I also doubt that She Li does all that he’s done now and in the past to Mo just to pick a fight wherever. We know that She Li ‘likes the face Mo makes when he’s crying’ (chapter 294), but believing that Mo is foolish enough to agree to go with them is unrealistic. She Li obviously knows where Mo lives (Mo’s moms house and probably his apartment rn, and Mo’s mom seems to welcome him), so why not wait until then?

Unless—

Neither of them were expecting a fight.

—

Now this is where the stretchy, fan-ficy, head canon stuff comes in after letting my imagination run wild for the last half-an-hour writing this.

The other half of this theory is quite a stretch; that is that Mo in the past might have HAD to do the kind of things She Li wanted him to do (I’ll let your imagination do the work for you).

We know that Mo doesn’t come from the most financially stable background. His mom working late nights, him having to cook food for a mom whose probably only wish is to be able to have the strength at the end of the day to cook for him, having to pay rent by herself (if Mo wasn’t paying for it along with her at the time). Mo, as we know, loves his mother dearly and wants nothing but the best for her (such a good son 🥰).

Since Mo knows his moms hardships without his dad in the picture, he may have forced himself to do the only thing available to him to make money. And that was to serve She Li. In the past, Mo may have not ran away and in fact went to She Li in order to help his mother out. Mo hated what he had to do, but if it was for his mother then he would do it.

This is turn loops back around to the first Tianshan kiss back in chapters 174-175 and Mo’s PTSD. Mo’s expresses many times that he doesn’t like rich boys like He Tian, so maybe his last night have something to do with his reluctance towards getting closer to He Tian....

BUT HEY

THATS JUST A THEORY

A MANHUA THEORY

Thanks for reading 😊

#19days #Tianshan

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spockandawe · 4 years

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HEY THERE, you have me interested in The Untamed but I'm a little lost as to where to start, there's both a 50 episode normal version and a 20 episode special edition, which should I watch/start with? Also WHAT does your svsss tag stand for? I'm seeing "The Untamed" and "Chén Qíng Lìng" and "Mo Dao Zu Shi" and "Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation" thrown around as synonyms or related pieces of media, but nothing with svsss!

Sure thing!!

Okay, to start with, I’d definitely go with the 50-episode version. It’s a Lot, and there is some padding added to the story compared to the original book, but twenty episodes seems really, really short to do justice to the central plot

(a quick skim of google tells me that the special edition leans harder into the original novel’s gayness, which the show has to be coy about, because china. i think there are expanded scenes featuring the two leads, which is awesome, because their acting is AMAZING, but that just means the plot scenes are even more compressed. I saw at least one person recommend that you not do the special edition unless you’ve consumed the story in at least one other more standard format already)

Also! Iirc, the show is available on youtube and netflix, among other platforms, though those two are wonderfully accessible. However, comma, I do hear from people fluent in chinese that the subtitles sometimes are inaccurate in unnecessary/unfortunate ways. From what I hear, viki has the best complete set of subtitles (I think there may be fansub projects in progress, but I am not at all in touch with those. I still haven’t watched the show myself).

And the general summary of my current webnovel fixation! There’s this webnovel author who goes by mxtx, who currently has three complete books out, which have all been translated into english. Then after I finished those, I started branching out into other authors and webnovels, though I’m not too deep into that end of the pool yet. I’ll break each book into a separate paragraph for clarity.

Oh, and. Each of these books is explicitly gay, and set in ancient fantasy china, in a wuxia/xianxia setting, which I’m not too familiar with myself, but I believe it functions a lot like how authors will use ‘ancient fantasy europe’ as a playground where they don’t necessarily need to match up to established countries/cities/etc, but they expect readers to recognize certain conventions, like I’d be able to recognize a western author writing a basic feudal setting, or recognize witches and wizards, without them explaining the whole thing from the bottom up. Since I’m not familiar, it raised the difficulty level a little for me to get into the genre, but the webnovel translators tend to use footnotes and I picked up a lot as I went on.

(if you are interested in any of these, novelupdates.com is a good central resource collecting links to various fan translation projects)

So! Mxtx. Her earliest book is The Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System (SVSSS), which is also the shortest and most linear of her books. The general premise is that a guy who’s been hate-reading this (straight) stallion harem webnovel with a dark protagonist. He goes to bed, and wakes up in the novel, as the protagonist’s dickbag teacher, who is doomed to eventually die horribly. He wants to not die, and is also a decent human being, so the book follows the “original” novel derailing from its intended path, and accidentally getting super duper gay. This one is about to come out in donghua form, but I think that may be its first non-book adaption.

Her second book, which was adapted into The Untamed/Chen Qing Ling (CQL), is also known as The Grandmaster Of Demonic Cultivation/Mo Dao Zu Shi (MDZS), which really manages to be the hardest of her books to summarize. Wei Wuxian, the grandmaster of demonic cultivation, dies. Thirteen years later, he wakes up in someone else’s body. Most of the world would like him to stay dead, tbh, but he’s a good egg, and he and his old friend(????) go forth and solve a necromantic mystery together, and also there is romance-romance and ten million family feelings. This one gets nonlinear, with several extended flashback sequences, and the story STARTS at about the midway point of the plot. This has been adapted into an audio drama at least once, a manhua, a donghua, and now a live action show, so it goes by a million different names in its various formats.

Her third book, and the LONGEST, is Heaven Official’s Blessing/Tian Guan Ci Fu (TGCF), and oh my god, it’s so long, and I love it so, so much. This gets into high fantasy much more than the other two, including the idea that as people develop their cultivation and powers, they may eventually achieve immortality and ascend to the heavens. The story follows Xie Lian who achieved immortality and ascended to heaven! And then fell. And then ascended! And fell again. Eight hundred years later, he ascends for the third time. He meets Hua Cheng, the ridiculously powerful ghost king, who most of the other immortals are terrified of. But Hua Cheng seems to like Xie Lian! And Xie Lian thinks Hua Cheng is a sweet boy! (hua cheng is a sweet boy, but only for xie lian). This also has extended flashback sequences, but is a more linear story than MDZS, I think. Also it made me cry, which, wow, rude. I love it so incredibly much. This also exists as a manhua, but I think it’s still being published? I haven’t read it yet.

NOW. Mxtx is working on a fourth book, but it’s not out in chinese yet, never mind english. But I needed More. I was getting some SVSSS vibes from this one other book, which, *wobbly hand motions*, but I am enjoying the hell out of this book purely for its own sake.

Meatbun is an author with other books that I haven’t read yet, but I am currently in the middle of The Husky And His White Cat Shizun/Er Ha He Ta De Bai Mo Shi Zun (Erha/2ha), which is at this moment being adapted to a live action tv show called Immortality. There are MANY warnings that go with this book, though the google docs translation files do a good job of placing warnings at the front of every document and in front of relevant chapters. The general premise! Mo Ran basically conquered the entire world, put down all resistance by force, and was a super powerful but Kinda Dumb emperor. As part of this, he took his old teacher, who he despised with a burning passion, prisoner, and abused him a Lot. The story starts as rebels try to mount an assault on his palace, and Mo Ran’s cousin gets impatient with how slowly things are moving and runs ahead of the group. He finds that (suicide warning:) Mo Ran has... taken poison, and is in the middle of dying. This doesn’t stick. He wakes up as a teenager, apparently having traveled back in time, and starts living through events again, with the knowledge of his past life. It took me a while to warm up to this story, but ohhhh my goodness, it’s so TASTY. The translation for this one is ongoing, and I am in AGONY waiting for further updates.

So those are the ones I’m currently into and mostly blogging about! I also read Dreamer In The Spring Boudoir, mostly because feynite wrote an SVSSS fic set in the universe of that novel, which was good in some ways, left me cold in others (and the original novel is straight, with a society with rigid gender roles, so making it super gay in the fic made the setting much more interesting to me). Meatbun has other writing, which I haven’t sampled yet, but I am definitely interested in doing that sometime soon.

Sorry, I know this is a LOT, so if you have any other questions feel free to ask me!! I got into these mostly via being interested in the untamed, so I read them as 1) mdzs, 2) svsss, 3) tgcf, 4) erha, which was an order that worked well for me. But if someone was looking for a general order to read them in, independent of that, I might suggest 1) svsss, 2) mdzs, 3) tgcf, 4) erha. They’re all really good, and scratch different emotional itches, and each of them has at least a few characters who sucker-punch me RIGHT in the goddamn heart. They’ve been a HUGE help for me dealing with the restlessness and/or apathy of quarantine, so I’ve been evangelizing them to pretty much anyone who will listen to me, hahaha

#spock replies #long post/#suicide mention/#solluxisms

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midotakaism · 5 years

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Ok, now I'm curious what that shitty snake actually told Tian to make him this shaken up? Did he reveal something horrific that had happened to Mo in the past? Is he frustrated because he can't actually protect him from it? Is that why he's this upset? And where is that dirty snake now? So many questions..

hello, anon!!

im still on the screaming stage of a new chapter release, so these are just my first thoughts on it, which may change when i actually calm down and think more about it, but as of now i personally don’t think she li told he tian anything more than what we saw in the previous chapter. i know the transition between the two chapter being so harsh may make it look like something more happened behind the scenes, but old xian often uses this method to move the action to another moment and leave us readers to fill in the gaps, which can be frustrating sometimes, but considering 19 days strip size, it’s also an understandable choice

so yeah, i feel like she li didn’t reveal anything else, but what he said was more than enough to put he tian in a bad mood and make him upset. we have to keep in mind that he tian actually knows very little about guan shan’s relatonship with she li, even less than us readers, all he knows is that she li offered guan shan to take the blame for something he didn’t actually do, omitting exactly what that something was - which not only could have caused guan shan to be expelled, but also have him respond to sexual assault charges - and that he tried to hurt guan shan, possibly in more than one occasion. all this in itself would be more than enough to piss off he tian, and we did see him getting very angry about it, but even after he tian beat him up and threatened to do even worse if he kept going, she li is still showing no intention in giving up bothering guan shan, and not only that, he actually went off his way to make he tian know he enjoys seeing guan shan being hurt

so on one side, you have she li literally playing on he tian’s biggest fears, which are losing the ones he loves and not being able to protect them (see his mom, see the dog he saved), and on the other, you have he tian himself not being fully aware of all the details in guan shan’s relationship with she li, such as guan shan ‘owing’ she li, which makes it even harder for him to do what he desperately wants to i.e. protecting guan shan by any means necessary, because he knows guan shan doesn’t ask for help easily, so he probably would not appreciate he tian acting on his own on a matter that runs deeper than what he tian first thought

you actually said it perfectly yourself, anon, he tian is upset because of what she li told him, but also and especially because he is frustrated at the fact that right now he is not able to protect guan shan from it

as for where she li is now.. who knows. im still not sure what he tried to achieve by going to say those things to he tian, but he probably has something in mind and momentarily retreated in some dark corner waiting for the right moment to strike again (im definitely not worried about it, nope, not at all, im totally calm [shakes in unknown fear])

#19 days #tianshan #he tian #mo guan shan #she li #IM SOMEHOW EVEN MORE STRESSED THAN BEFORE HELP #thank you for the message and for sharing the new update with me anon!!#hope you're gonna have a wondeful day!!#ask #anon #me: i need to start cutting off my reply #also me as soon as a new chapter drops: [WHIRRS LIKE A MACHINE] [STARTS TYPING AND NEVER STOPS]

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nightfayre · 5 years

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You seem like a very open person, so I figured I would message you about my thoughts! I’m not so sure if I wanna take off the anon (I think this fandom is harmless for the most part about contradicting opinions- but some of their mindsets kinda scare me, lol) so here I go! First off, I would like to say that I really enjoy Tiashan as a pairing for the most part, but I see a lot of points in their relationship that I REALLY look forward to them fixing in the future. 1/?

For one thing, their power balance is extremely fucked right now, lol. That one’s pretty obvious. But seriously, while I was reading through some of the chapters I felt tired just processing them. A lot of the “go” “no go” and angry yelling in the comic can easily be see as comedic and written off as such- but it happens, it feels like, nearly every time He Tian and Mo interact and at times it can be tiring to look at and say “that’s just how they are.” At this point in the story, we can see 2/?

that Mo has started to develop some form of feelings for He Tian and is obviously much better off now with his friends than he was before- that’s a starting point for sure- but (to me at least) it felt mildly unearned. It’s clear and I appreciate that He Tian and Mo interact much healthier than they had in the beginning (especially in the 170’s), holding each others hands and whatnot, but a lot of their earlier arguments and attacks towards each other feel unresolved. 3/?

Again, I really enjoy their pairing and want to see them get better about it, but a lot of how they interact just seems mentally exhausting. Both characters have their own traumas and issues to sort through, so even though a lot of how He Tian acts towards Mo can be explained and reasoned through, that doesn’t really justify how he acts, although it’s clear that he’s doing his best and will (hopefully) improve. We’ve already seen Mo starting to open up more in the last chapter 3/?

and I’m sure OX has plans for them, but I just can’t stress enough how badly I want proper communication. Mo is clearly a sensitive and withdrawn guy and He Tian is clearly impulsive with possessive qualities. They have history with those traits, but that doesn’t mean that their justified and can just write off their every action. It means that they need proper handling, and neither of their personalities (at the moment) make that easy. 4/?

Anyways, I trust the author wholeheartedly! This was more or less one of my largest concerns for the PRESENT relationship, which will no doubt evolve into something much better by the end. I’m hoping both of them (especially He Tian even though I love him) get the slap in the face they need to wake up and communicate properly, which won’t be easy. I hope you can rest my worries about this relationship or at least give some valuable insight! I’ll look into your response no matter what it is! 5/5

tianshan is one of my favorite topics to talk about, specifically because of all the points you’ve mentioned! they’re a controversial pair, but there is so many reasons to love them, too. my answer below the cut!

if I could describe tianshan’s current relationship with one word/phrase, I would label it as “power imbalance.” and like you said, it really is fucked. the amount of miscommunication and misunderstanding between the two is incredible, and most of their problems stem directly from their inability to properly interact.

and yes – like you said, all of their current interactions seem to be an never-ending loop of teases, threats, yelling, and bickers. however, so is every other relationship in the story! hell, even qiucheng have their argumentative moments (though, obviously they aren’t as dramatic as the four main boys lol). if anything, I think Old Xian relies on these – for lack of a better word – harsh interactions between the characters in order to emphasize the moments in which the boys share serious, developmental moments.

I mean, think of it this way: how utterly heartbroken did you feel when Jian Yi first kissed Zheng Xi, screaming manically in the process, and then ran away, only to end up quietly crying into Zheng Xi’s shoulder on the street? I, for one, was torn apart by that scene. and I think that’s exactly Old Xian’s intent – the emotional and situational contrast between the boys’ usual bickering, teasing interactions and their broken, I’m-only-fifteen-and-I-don’t-know-what-I’m-doing moments pulls out emotions in the readers like none other. and the same goes for tianshan; Old Xian chose to end one of tianshan’s interactions with their normal banter (ex. the scene in which Guan Shan is in the hospital and flips He Tian off when He Tian says, “Take a good look, I’m leaving.”) and then immediately followed it up with the scene in which He Tian came home – or rather, came back to Guan Shan – and rested his head on his shoulder in exhaustion, seeking whatever form of comfort he finds in Guan Shan. I personally think that was one of the greatest moments between tianshan despite it being minute, especially because Guan Shan was under no obligation to care for and/or provide for He Tian but did so anyways. (and of course, the nightmare + handholding scene came directly afterwards!)

as for the “unresolved” feeling you get from tianshan’s fights – well, you’re not wrong. they’ve yet to resolve a single problem they have with one another. the closest they’ve ever come to “fixing” an issue is when He Tian kissed Guan Shan, in which Guan Shan broke into tears for reasons He Tian didn’t understand and clearly/firmly told He Tian that it was not okay; that he went too far. He Tian internalized that moment because he’s human and learns from his mistakes, and they’ve hadn’t had a problem like that again. as such, I don’t think tianshan will ever verbally or explicitly solve whatever issues lie between them. rather, they will both absorb the information as it comes to them and intrinsically work through the issues by themselves. is that the healthiest and/or most efficient way to make progress in their relationship? well, no. it’s not. but they’re young and impressionable and don’t know how to trust/handle one another right now, and so they only have themselves to rely on.

and I know I talked about this in one of my other answers, but I think it’s also relevant to apply my thoughts here, too: celebrate He Tian’s development, but don’t ignore his flaws along the way. you’re absolutely right; He Tian’s cruel and often forceful behavior isn’t right. not every single one of his actions can be justified, try as some people in this fandom might. character flaws are necessary for any story, and He Tian is no exception. just like any other human you come across in your lifetime, there’s going to be a history behind them that isn’t as clean as you’d like it to be. but they had to experience that tainted history in order to get to a better point in their life. no one is born with a perfect sense of morality, justice, social interactions, etc. trial and error is necessary for anyone to move forward in life, and I think this philosophy can be directly applied to He Tian, too. I don’t necessarily think He Tian is doing his best, but he’s doing what he knows as well as what he’s learning along the way. time (and failure) can only tell how He Tian will develop throughout the rest of the manhua, and I don’t think we can pass strict judgment on him until we give him the opportunity and room to grow.

as for Guan Shan… his withdrawn and stubborn behavior will be the end of him. unfortunately, those character traits are exactly what drew He Tian to him – but that doesn’t necessarily mean that He Tian can’t continue to stay interested in him as Guan Shan matures/develops by his side. I do think Guan Shan has higher walls up than He Tian – and for good reason, too. he’s struggling for money, endured bullying, is growing up in a one-parent household, juggling multiple part-time jobs in addition to school, and has to protect his mother from the shit their father left behind (whether he intended to or not). it’s everything a 15 year old shouldn’t have to worry about, and yet Guan Shan is alone throughout it all. thus, he doesn’t have any reason to believe that He Tian – a wealthy and privileged, handsome and smart, athletic and popular boy – has any good intentions.

and that’s why I focus more on He Tian when discussing the flaws in tianshan’s relationship. Guan Shan is a troubled boy, definitely, but I also think that Guan Shan would open up remarkably if he was greeted with a consistently kind and outstretched hand. and He Tian has definitely had his nice moments, but not enough to earn Guan Shan’s brittle trust. like you said, this tension between them is so hard for them to overcome, but I don’t think it’s impossible. it will just take a tremendous amount of effort and a considerable amount of time before they’re anywhere close to a healthy relationship.

nonetheless, I’m glad you see the potential in tianshan’s relationship! their current interactions in the manhua are critical, even if it is painful and sometimes tiring to read. with how difficult their personalities are, there’s no way they would’ve been able to start at a different point than they did. give them grace, but don’t overlook their flaws. I’m positive that Old Xian loves these characters just as much (if not more) than we do, and thus I’m sure tianshan have a bright future ahead of them. it will take a lot of painful trial and error along the way, but they will certainly get where they need to be! at this point, a slap in a face would be yet another great kickstart towards a healthier relationship between them. and, honestly, I think that slap in the face will be delivered to He Tian, as you said.

proper communication between them will come in time, and it’ll come in ways that aren’t as traditional as we might expect it to be. tianshan are a very physical pair (mostly thanks to He Tian), so perhaps the first sign of trust/communication will be Guan Shan allowing He Tian to touch him without protest. or maybe it will be Guan Shan doing a favor for He Tian without needing to or having to be asked. or maybe He Tian will do something that benefits Guan Shan and his family without explicitly telling Guan Shan that he did it for him/them – or, in other words, He Tian won’t expect anything in return.

I don’t know; everything is a toss-up when it comes to Old Xian and the potential outcomes of the manhua. I don’t claim to know anything about where we might find ourselves in 50+ chapters, but I think I have enough sense to speculate. and as far as tianshan are concerned? well, I think they’re going to be just fine.

I can’t wait to see where they end up.

#19 days #tianshan #i could talk about tianshan all day; thank you so much for this ask!!#mailbox #anon

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notthatiwilleverwriteit · 5 years

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I don’t usually give these kinds of deeper analyses on the chapters because people who are way better at deciphering how I feel but just can’t put into words usually beat me to it (@casually-inlove and @call-me-ala to name a couple). Writing analyses can also be exhausting, and I tip my hat to those people who take the time and energy to answer all the asks and whatnot. But ch 297 just wouldn’t let my brain rest, so I decided to gird my loins and give you my thoughts.

Yesterday I answered an ask by @i-got-these-words about what was my favorite 19 Days quote, and even though I will stick to my answer, a very strong contender might have come to challenge my original pick. What He Tian said about Mo Guan Shan - and essentially about himself - just keeps on giving the deeper I dig into between the lines. It felt like HT and Tianshan have somewhat come a full circle.

“I chose you because there’s something I admire about you.”

What a nice callback to ch 138 and the origin of Tianshan in general:

HT “picking” MGS is an interesting aspect of their relationship. After the fight with ZZX, MGS’s palpable disdain of HT is surprisingly enough met with HT saying he admires MGS for that exact reason. Imagine finding someone respectable because they look down on your character. And not only that, you choose to pursue that person. I think that says a lot about HT’s struggle to distance himself from his “destiny” and the heritage of his family.

For that, we have to go even further back, all the way to when we just started to see other sides to HT. Why HT is living by himself in his uncle’s empty apartment isn’t fully clear to us. He said it’s more convenient because of school but judging by how tense his relationship with his father is, I bet there’s more to the housing situation. My headcanon is he’s living alone as a truce to ease the atmosphere at home. I also suspect He Cheng had something to do with it. Maybe it had gotten so bad he suggested HT lived by himself and used the school as an excuse to persuade their father.

Be that as it may, the obvious bottom line is, HT doesn’t agree with his father and the world his family is involved with. He’s been raised according to certain principles, but the older he grew the more they sickened him and the more stubbornly he wanted to defy them.

Before HT got involved with the fight between MGS and ZZX, he seemed to be somewhat of a lone wolf. Sure, he had his horde of fangirls but no one knew the real him. This, I think, is especially apparent in ch 115:

It’s as if he’s living a double life. His destined place in the world is in the shadows. The shady underworld he despises so much. But at the same time, the shadows seem to serve as a refuge of sorts. It’s a familiar place. From there he can observe people, deep in thought, and be himself. Out in the open, we rarely see him that serious but rather he often plasters a fake, outgoing smile that doesn’t scare off his classmates.

He doesn’t seem to have any real friends. JY and ZZX appear to be more of acquaintances, maybe something more, but they don’t know much about HT either. The way HT is with JY and ZZX makes me feel like he’s “above” them. He knows more about the world and life in general, he’s not a teenage boy they are despite often acting like they do. The difference becomes clear when JY bumps into MGS and HT steps in to effectively put an end to it. He has the confidence to take on delinquents without hesitation, even openly look down on them.

But he’s not doing that just out of the goodness of his heart. It’s true he wants to help his friend but he’s also on a mission to become something better than his father and brother. He Cheng told him to grow strong, but HT wants to use his strength for good instead to exploit and submit others. The more he will not become like his brother the better he will feel about himself and like he’s not a part of that shady world. His goal is both admirable and selfish.

MGS becomes a project of sorts for HT. Someone for whom he can be the hero he so desperately wants to. But also a living, breathing beacon of light to remind him to not give in to the darkness and use his strength for good. And no one is allowed to corrupt or snuff it out.

But that kind of relationship is quite one-sided. To be a hero and constantly strive to better oneself is exhausting, and in time, HT’s armor appears to have more and more cracks for MGS to see. He can’t just power through of it all by himself and see MGS, who is a person with his own will, that passively. Without necessarily even realizing it, MGS is forcing HT to admit certain things to himself and acknowledge them.

“You are not fake or sneaky, and you don’t cheat.”

For this analysis, I’ve used the translation by @yaoi-blcd and it seems they’ve used the word “fake”. I’ve seen a couple of others which had translated it as “hypocritical” (I don’t speak Mandarin, so I can’t say which is more accurate). I suppose there isn’t a big difference between the two but I find “hypocritical” quite interesting.

It reminds me of She Li in ch 294:

SL isn’t wrong in saying that HT and MGS are from different worlds. Or rather, they’re from the opposite sides of the same world; the villains and the victims. MGS’s family has suffered greatly by the hands of people like HT’s family. The connections between those two families aren’t clear but I don’t believe it’s far fetched to think MGS’s father might have been mixed with some shady people. For example, maybe he had had to borrow money from them and then had trouble paying back. And it’s from this injustice and the hardships that followed that MGS’s disdain of HT and people like him ultimately stems.

SL obviously doesn’t recognize HT’s efforts to befriend MGS because he doesn’t believe in that kind of approach (but that’s a whole other story). So, to take out his frustration on something, he goes with the truth even HT can’t deny and reminds HT of his “destiny” and place in the world.

HT might see himself as a hypocrite for trying to play a hero for MGS when he’s in fact meant to be the villain. Does he have the right put himself into the victims’ lives when his side of the world is the problem? This becomes even more of an issue if HT’s family was directly involved with what happened to MGS’s father.

Either way, words like “fake, “sneaky”, and “cheat” yet again speak loudly about the kind of world HT lives in and the kind of people he’s surrounded by. The opposite of those words is what he admires in MGS but is he also admitting those words describe him? Does he already see himself in them?

Which leads me to “You aren’t afraid ‘darkness’.“

This was probably my favorite part of the quote. Obviously, HT isn’t just talking about plain darkness although it’s another nice callback to HT being afraid of the dark.

One of the many things I love about Tianshan is that the power dynamic is actually more balanced than meets the eye. HT might be physically stronger and often push MGS’s buttons but MGS is in no way weak. HT can be quite forceful in his affections, so he needs to be paired up with someone who can push back and hold his own. In MGS’s case, all of that comes down to his pride and not wanting to depend on anyone (which is also mentioned in some of the translations instead of “cheating”).

“Darkness” can refer to the violent criminal world in which HT grew up. Interestingly enough it’s the common denominator in both of their lives. They might be from different sides of the darkness, but it’s still the same darkness they’re both familiar with. And MGS won’t back down when it comes to holding his ground, so he’s tough enough to survive in that darkness.

Also, HT needs someone strong enough to handle him at his worst. The latest case in point, ch 295:

It took me a while see behind that behavior. My initial reaction was to be disappointed because I thought we had gotten past HT being like this already. I didn’t like the way he barked orders and was physical without the usual mischevious undertone. Then I realized that despite being mature for his age, HT isn’t really good at using words. Instead, he often chooses action. It was obvious SL’s threat had upset and unsettled him. And it made him even more uneasy when MGS seemed oblivious to the danger. But he wasn’t being forceful and possessive but in need of reassurance.

He literally went from “bad mood” to promising to kill anyone who gives MGS trouble before we finally got to the root of the problem: he’s worried about losing MGS.

Now, he can’t be that way with the girls or his classmates. With them, he couldn’t act out every time he’s upset about something. Ideally, he will grow out of it or at least work on it, but in the meantime, he needs someone who can handle him at his worst.

It’s also obvious HT carries a lot of darkness in a form of trauma, as in his inner darkness. MGS isn’t a stranger to that either given that he’s also been through traumatic experiences at a young age. HT’s nightmares might scare him but he didn’t run away. Instead, he offered what clumsy comfort he could. This is connected to my earlier point of HT not just seeing MGS as someone who needs protection but also as someone he can rely on when it becomes too much. In the process, HT is “forced” to deal with his problems when he can show them to someone.

As an interesting side note, HT is kind of looking down when he talks about the “darkness”. Is he ashamed of being afraid of the “dark”? It’s a weakness, and I’m sure something that wouldn’t be accepted by his father.

“Don’t abandon me.”

HT finally ends his confession of sorts with the kind of plea we’ve never heard out of his mouth. It’s his greatest fear that’s always been in the background and the motivation to his actions but something he’s never said out loud. Not to mention while openly facing MGS like that.

Obviously, that line is heartbreakingly sad in and of itself but take a moment to really think about it. Imagine if the worst happened and MGS wasn’t in HT’s life for some reason anymore. What would he have left at that point? To go back to lurking in the shadows and fake smiling through his days? His goal of a better person would become that much abstract again, and he’d lose the one thing that grounds him in this side of the darkness.

It’s a very thin thread for HT to cling onto. I think @mestizo-efp had a good point in their answer about HT looking defeated. He’s used to being ready for anything and everything and is also asking for MGS to keep his guard up. In that light, HT’s plea is almost unfair. Anything could happen, and realistically speaking neither HT nor MGS could do anything about most of those scenarios.

Also, given HT’s somewhat difficult personality and shortcomings, it can also be read as a plea for MGS to put up with him. As in “I know I can be an ass but don’t give up on me”. It’s the fear of MGS losing hope in HT which could be even a worse punch than losing MGS some other way.

So, yeah. This might, in fact, be my new favorite quote.

#19 days #He Tian #mo guan shan #tianshan #my 19 days post #loooong post #sorry about that #took me hours to put this together #jc #i'm spent

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