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radramblog · 3 years

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Ultimate^2

Super Smash Brothers Ultimate has finally unveiled its final DLC character, with reactions ranging fully across the spectrum. Hot takes abound.

I mean, statistically, just about every possible opinion is going to be represented. There were at least 500,000 people watching the reveal stream, and that’s not including those viewing through restreams. That’s insane for a trailer of any kind, let alone for a console-exclusive video game DLC.

Now that it’s been like… a day and a bit, I think most of the spciest takes have probably been made, which is the perfect time for me to chip in with my own milder opinion. More of a butter chicken, really.

(no images in this one i’m lazy tonight)

I figure I’m this late already, might as well drop some notes on the other ones first.

Piranha Plant was kind of the definition of an unexpected pick. Not only was it from an already well-represented franchise, being fucking Mario, it’s also just…not a character. As such it makes an odd choice for a DLC fighter…except for the part where it was free. If you owned the game in its first month. And frankly, I don’t think people would have been happy if it wasn’t. As it is, though, it’s a perfectly fine character- surprisingly cute, actually.

I’m unsurprised about Joker’s inclusion. With how huge Persona 5 became in both Japan and the west, capitalizing on it to make a shitload of money makes perfect sense. The character plays well enough, though the meter gimmick was kind of a daunting sign of things to come. All that in mind, though, the most surprising thing about Joker being in the game is that they still haven’t put P5 on the Switch. Atlus please.

Hero and Banjo/Kazooie were announced on the same night, and I distinctly recall someone saying that this was one for the Japanese audience and one for the Americans. I mean, I’ve never played Dragon Quest, so I guess I fell into the latter? Both series have a long, well-regarded pedigree (Banjo’s lack of recent offerings notwithstanding), so both arguably deserve their respective positions. Hero is the much more notable character gameplaywise, though, with the incredibly complex mana and spellcasting mechanics. Complaints about RNG in Smash aren’t completely unfounded- though it has existed in the past in the form of, say, Luigi’s misfiring side-B- but I know a lot of people think Hero took it too far. If I’m honest, though, the weirdest thing is just having Akira Toriyama-ass 3D models in the game. Banjo’s gameplay is…awkward. The kit is kind of a mess, but at least the gimmicks weren’t going too hard, you know?

Next was Terry, perhaps the most obscure character on the entire list in 2021. I actually really like Terry in this game- while he’s still trying to emulate a similar feel to Ryu/Ken, the difference feels more natural, if that makes sense. Maybe it’s because I’ve never really devoted significant time to them, but Terry’s kit feels easier to work within than the Shotos when going between characters.

Finally for the first Pass, we had Byleth. I think it’s for the best that they announced the second Fighter’s Pass before this released, because if both 4 and Ultimate had ended their run on Fire Emblem DLCs then people would have been pissed. I mean, people were already pissed, but like…moreso. As someone who has played Three Houses, I do think the game is worth celebrating, but having yet another Fire Emblem Protagonist (read: basically a blank slate) in the game over all the substantially more interesting characters 3H has to offer is just really frustrating. Also the final smash looks like dogshit, like FE3H has overall worse animations than Smash for obvious reasons but I’m pretty sure this attack looked better the first time around.

FP2 opened with Min Min, which brings ARMS to the table. ARMS. The only first-party fighting game Nintendo has outside of Smash, so it looks a bit less weird next to everything else but…come on, man. I think this was the most confusing pick of all of them- the game came out in 2017, and having Min Min in Smash would serve as promotion for a sequel…which hasn’t been announced. There was a graphic novel in the works, but it was cancelled earlier this year. Oops? At least the stage was fun.

As much as playing them is awkward and complex, the Minecraft addition was fitting. Only the best-selling game around. I think people weren’t sure if Microsoft would go for it, but they let us have Banjo, so sure. I’m mostly just annoyed that they couldn’t get any of the songs from the actual game in there- like, you got one in from the fucking mobile game, but you couldn’t just get C418 on the phone?

Sephiroth is definitely one of the hype-ier releases from this pass. The character is iconic, as is his theme and his home game. I’ve never played any Final Fantasy game, but I can still respect the name. Once I remember how to spell it. The whole bossfight aspect to his release was also quite cool, while it lasted.

On the other hand, I have no love for Pyra nor Mythra. There’s so much wrong with these ones, frankly. They’re another swordy character, immediately following Sephiroth too, and they go back on Smash’s very deliberate decision to split characters like Zelda/Sheik and Samus/ZSS up (Yes I know Pokemon Trainer does the same thing but I have a lot more leniency for them). Add in their being from a JRPG much less well-known or remembered than the previous couple characters and the designs being…questionable, I have a big issue with the whole thing. This was also around when I kinda stopped playing the game in general, and they definitely didn’t help pull me back in.

Kazuya might have, though. With the exception of him and Sephiroth, all the characters from the Fighter’s Passes were pretty much protagonist-types, but this motherfucker pulses with the essence of bad guy. What I’m saying is that he’s fucking cool, and while he’s ludicrously complex, that makes perfect sense since…I mean just look at the combo lists from Tekken 7. His inclusion also kinda rounds out the list of biggest fighting game franchises out there being rep’d in the game, though I imagine now I’m going to have stans from Mortal Kombat or whatever on my back. They’re not going to put a fatality-capable character in Smash, guys!

Finally, this rounds us around to the original point of this article. Let’s talk about Sora. And by that I mean…I don’t really have a huge amount to say about him. Kingdom Hearts is a franchise that completely passed me by growing up, and I don’t think I have the time or energy to devote to it now. I’m sure it’s good, people seemed really excited for him to be in the game so they have to have gotten that love from somewhere, but I don’t share that feeling.

That’s not to say that I don’t think he deserves a slot. The idea of “deserving a slot” in Smash Bros is kind of an odd concept, even though it’s come up a lot so far this post. But a slot in this roster isn’t just a place in a popular fighting game, because at this point, Smash is kind of a museum of (mostly Nintendo) games- and so having representation is a forever acknowledgment that the franchise is, or has been, an icon to so many. Kingdom Hearts, to my knowledge, has 100% earned that position, and so Sora getting to be playable here makes perfect sense. He wasn’t my pick (Touhou representation never I guess), but I’m happy for those who wanted him.

As far as the actual gameplay looks, he reads like a character that kept in mind what people didn’t like about Hero when he released. It’s another sword-based character, which I think at this point speaks more about the demographic of video game characters than it does about Smash. But I appreciate that the Magic Bullshit is toned down, and that it’s also his only real gimmick (The 3-hit combo feature is A Thing, but other characters e.g. Bayonetta have already done that, so whatever). His recovery potential looks patently absurd- like he just gets Pikachu/Pichu’s Up-B as a Side-B that can also be chained with his actual Up-B? This guy better be light as hell or he’s going to be super hard to take out. I dunno, I think he looks solidly fun enough- more dynamic and aerial than the other swordfighters, at least- and that’s good enough for me.

And I guess that marks the end of Smash Ultimate. Not with a bang, but with a key…dude. It’s been a very solid run, the game managing to keep itself fresh across several years of development, even as other games have risen and fallen. Smash is kind of forever at this point, I think, though the finality of Ultimate’s ultimate character implies that this particular iteration may be coming to its end. And seeing as it is always one Smash per console, I wouldn’t be shocked if the Switch itself was nearing its endgame as well.

Okay but also it’s pretty funny how they heavily censored everything Disney out of Sora’s DLC except for that little Mickey charm on the trailer, like how much must that one shot have cost them, was it even remotely worth it, I don’t know but I kinda want to

#ramble #ssbu #ssbu spoilers #ssbu dlc #smash ultimate #video games #still mad they didn't put a song in with the doomguy costume

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overobsessedfanboy23 · 4 years

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Punch Out Wii Boxers Ranked

Thought I’d give my opinion on this since I’ve already expressed biases towards/against certain characters. I will be including Donkey Kong and Doc Louis but not Little Mac (because he is the objective best). The list will go from 15: the worst, to 1: the best. Before I start, I’d like to say that all of these characters are good, well-crafted characters, it really just comes down to personal bias who you prefer. And with that, let’s get started:

15. King Hippo

King Hippo is barely a character. Everything he “says” (there are apparently translations) just boils down to being hungry and he has no personality outside of that. I don’t hate him, but I don’t really care about him. His fight is also pretty boring all things considered. The contender fight is pitifully easy once you know what you’re doing and his title defense fight can go on for a long time and get very monotonous. At least his music’s kinda cool.

14. Super Macho Man

As someone who lives in America, I hate Macho Man with a burning passion. It’s not because I’m “patriotic,” it’s actually kind of the opposite. I’m not offended by his stereotype because it’s mean, I’m annoyed by his stereotype because it’s accurate. I deal with people like this on the daily: in the news. His catchphrases are obnoxious (except sometimes when they’re cut off. That’s kinda funny, admittedly) and he’s egotistical even compared to some of the others. He’s the type of person I actually want to punch in the face so I thank Punch Out for giving me that opportunity but I still hate the character. His match is fine. It’s a bit too easy in both contender and title defense compared to Soda and Bull but hey, at least they tried. His music’s alright.

13. Donkey Kong

Don’t get me wrong, I love Donkey Kong’s inclusion in this game. I think it’s amazing that Nintendo made a match for one of their most famous characters and the fight against him is very unique and challenging to win by KO. That being said, I never really played Donkey Kong so I don’t really have the connection to this character that others do. So yeah, great cameo, not one of my favourite fighters.

12. Bald Bull

Sorry, Bald Bull fans, but I’m not the biggest fan of this raging lunatic. In fact, he kinda creeps me out. People make jokes about Great Tiger being a furry (which he is), but Bald Bull straight up acts like a bull to the point of literally assaulting the poor referee. It’s kind of gross. To that same point, he is also completely shameless about his horrid anger issues which is personally not fun to watch. I get that he was driven mad by the paparazzi (or whatever that cutscene was trying to convey) but it’s still pretty over the top. I’m also not a big fan of his fights. It’s not too terribly difficult in contender mode (except the stupid bull charge) but it’s downright ridiculous in title defense. I firmly believe that his title defense match is the hardest in the entire game, yes even more difficult than TD Soda and TD Sandman. I cannot express with words how much I despise the star punch gimmick. Getting the star punches is frame perfect, making it feel like luck, and getting hit once makes you lose them all. And you need those stars to even knock him down. Seems a bit extreme for the middle fight in the world circuit, doesn’t it?! I was at this fight for hours and was over the moon when I finally managed to beat him. Also, his music kinda sucks. However, I put him over Macho Man because despite everything I just said, I don’t actually hate Bald Bull. I hate his fights but I don’t hate him personally like I do with obnoxious american.

11. Soda Popinski

Oh boy, Drunk Man. I don’t really see many reasons to like him but not any to hate him either, apart from his stupidly difficult fight, that is. I actually find it pretty easy in Contender. There’s a lot of strategies to knock him down really fast and his pattern is pretty basic. As for title defense, did they really need to make it that ridiculously hard? Yeah, there are tricks to make it easier and he has a set pattern but getting into the rhythm of that pattern is incredibly difficult and one slight mistake sets you back to two stun punches. It’s beyond frustrating. And yet the game deems him and Bald Bull to be easier than Macho Man. Why? As a character, Soda is just kinda there for me. It’s fun to make jokes about his steroid soda at least. Also, his music is for some reason one of my favourites tracks in the game. It’s just so epic.

10. Bear Hugger

Alright, now we’re onto the characters I actually like. Bear Hugger is a fun character. He’s one of the more exaggerated stereotypes though I can’t really say for sure whether this one is accurate or not but I’m guessing the maple syrup and hockey stuff at the very least is. I also love the squirrel. It’s implemented into the fight kind of oddly, but it makes his title defense fight pretty enjoyable. It’s a difficult fight but not one I’ve lost recently. The contender fight is fun too, it’s definitely one where I get to spam a ton of star punches. His music is good too. Not much to say on Bear Hugger, he’s fun but I like the other characters more.

9. Disco Kid

Kinda sad that the Wii version only introduced one new character to the roster but at least it was a fun character. Disco Kid’s matches are not a challenge. Contender mode, title defense, he’s one of the easiest fights in the game. He makes up for that by being incredibly over the top flamboyant and cocky, this time in a fun way. I like that he dances throughout his whole fight, I think it’s cool when every little aspect of someone’s match ties into who the character is. Disco Kid is a flamboyant dancer and that is perfectly shown through his mannerisms in the fights. I especially love how in Title Defense, he’s not really bitter or determined to beat Mac he’s just like, “Oh a dance club? This is cool, might as well work this stuff into my boxing routine.” It’s pretty excellent. I’m not a huge fan of disco, but his theme music is pretty good.

8. Aran Ryan

If there’s one thing I’ve seen since joining this site, it’s a lot of Aran Ryan. People on here really love this guy and even many of the YouTubers I’ve seen play this game say he is one of if not their favourite character in the game. Personally, I think he’s a little overrated. However, I do still like him and see why other people like him. He’s sort of a “love to hate” kind of character with him being a complete psycho that’s probably a sadist and a masochist considering how he seems to enjoy being punched and beating the hell out of everyone. It’s fun in a twisted way. His fights are also both pretty fun. Everyone really likes the cheating aspect and yeah, it’s pretty ridiculous that he can literally bring in a weapon and get away with it. However, it also makes his fight stand out from the others. He’s so horrible that he’s just fun to beat up. It’s also the only world circuit fight in title defense that I don’t hate with every fibre of my being. So yeah, fun character, with excellent music might I add.

7. Glass Joe

Here’s another favourite here on Tumblr. To be honest, the fact that people on here liked Aran Ryan didn’t surprise me at all. In fact, it seemed perfectly in character. However, it did surprise me to see how many people liked Glass Joe. I thought he was kind of underrated before but now I see that he’s getting the love he deserves. I love how even though Glass Joe is in every way a french stereotype, he also directly defies the stereotype of the french being quick to surrender. He lost one hundred times and still didn’t give up, becoming determined to defeat Little Mac after earning the headgear. It’s unironically really admirable. Glass Joe’s fights are never a challenge. Contender, title defense, champion’s mode, motion controls, he’s always kind of a joke. However, he is meant to be a tutorial fight for new players and this game gets much more challenging as it goes on, so it’s understandable. They did do a good job at making him more challenging in title defense, but it was still pretty easy at least in my opinion.

6. Von Kaiser

Von Kaiser’s a little underrated in this fandom. Maybe I’m speaking from bias, since I have so many headcanons about him but I really do think he’s a good character. He is just as much of a coward as Glass Joe and isn’t a much better fighter (his contender and title defense fights are both incredibly simple) yet Von Kaiser has a significantly better record than the rest of the minor circuit and even Bear Hugger, with 23 wins and 13 losses. He must’ve gotten those wins from somewhere and I doubt they were all from Glass Joe. That combined with the fact that Kaiser is the oldest boxer in the game (42) makes me think he was once a great boxer but has now passed his prime and refuses to give up, sort of like Glass Joe, but a little more tragic. Regardless, it’s fun to speculate. And I feel kinda bad for Von Kaiser, I mean the dude gets beat up by kids and basically goes mad after being beaten by a seventeen year old boxing newbie. Also, his music is pretty intense despite the fact that he’s treated like a joke by the game. Like Glass Joe, they did do a good job of making Kaiser more difficult in title defense by giving him a one hit KO and plenty of fake outs, though I don’t particularly struggle with either of those.

5. Sandman

Sandman is scary as hell. None of the other boxers really intimidate me, even the one with ridiculously difficult fights, but Sandman is a different story. Everyone else in the game has some kind of silly quirk even when they are serious but this guy is deadly serious about boxing. I mean, they introduce him by showing him beat the shit out of everyone you just faced before, some of which the player may have struggled with. It’s a great introduction for a final boss. His fight in contender is certainly the hardest in that mode and while I didn’t struggle with his title defense fight as much as TD Soda and TD Bull, it was still incredibly hard to beat. And unlike TD Soda and TD Bull, he actually has final boss vibes, so he does deserve his rank (unlike some other characters). Similar to Aran Ryan, his fight also requires the player to be more on offense, at least in my experience.

#4 Doc Louis

Doc Louis is severely underrated in this fandom and just in general. I love how encouraging he is to Little Mac even when he loses repeatedly, I love his silly tips that more often than not are cheesy dad jokes or puns. He’s just a good wholesome dad that loves his chocolate. I love him. Sadly, I have not played Doc Louis’s Punch Out so I don’t really have a perspective on how the fight is apart from videos online but it does look pretty fun, and it’s freaking Doc Louis. How can you not love him?

#3 Piston Hondo

This guy is also kind of underrated, maybe because he’s a bit vanilla? I don’t know, but apart from Sandman, he is undoubtedly the most serious about boxing. It’s actually a bit scary. I mean, this dude can catch a sword in his bare hands and outrun the bullet train, he could easily become champion after Little Mac retires. In fact, for me at least, his title defense fight is the most challenging fight in the major circuit for me. Yes, harder than Bear Hugger and Great Tiger. Those fake outs and speedy Hondo Rushes kept getting me. So yeah, very dedicated to boxing. He’s also just very respectable in general, keeping a calm demeanor throughout the fight and even bowing to show respect. He also doesn’t laugh at you when you get knocked down like literally everyone else does. (Apart from Don, but he still taunts you by asking if you want more.) Yeah, he gloats, but he’s a good sport. It’s nice to see someone who plays fair amongst a crowd of cheaters.

#2 Don Flamenco

Yet another character I’m surprised doesn’t get more attention in this fandom. I dunno, maybe my opinions are just weird. That being said, Don Flamenco was always going to be one of my favourites as he is the only foreign speaker in this entire game I can understand without subtitles. Though even if you don’t know spanish, Don’s character is still very clear and very amazing. Like, I’m sorry, but his contender intro is the best sequence in the entire game. You know immediately what he’s all about and it’s just so beautifully over the top to see this try hard dance his way into the ring with a rose. Actually, “beautifully over the top” is a great description for Don Flamenco in general. He hits every note of the “Spanish man” stereotype in the first few seconds you see him: being a bullfighter, getting all the girls, dancing the flamenco, and just being handsome in general. I don’t know if that last one is an actual stereotype but it’s undeniably true. And none of that is a bad thing. He is a positive figure, if a little cocky, and all of these things that the game could make fun of him for (the NES version certainly does), are actually shown in a positive light. I’m not too fond of bullfighting being shown in that light but it is very popular in Spain so… eh. Also, I do like that Don Flamenco fights like a bullfighter in the ring, baiting you into “charging” or attacking before countering. It’s a nice detail. However, it does make the fight a little too easy. In contender mode, even without doing the infinite, I barely have any trouble with him. He’s easy to get stars off of, his attacks are not that hard to dodge or counter, and if you do the infinite combo, you can destroy him in seconds. In title defense, he is more difficult for sure, but he’s the easiest fight title defense fight in the major circuit. That being said, holy cow is he amazing in title defense as well. He was already over the top in contender but in title defense, after one loss might I add, he acts like it’s the end of the world and becomes completely emo. This could’ve been completely obnoxious or stupid but in my opinion, it makes him very entertaining. He’s just so fun to watch in general, I love his epic music, and I love this angsty telenovela character. Amo al personaje Don Flamenco. El es tan entretenido y guapo. Necesita más amor. Because I mentioned that I know spanish earlier and the first first thing people always ask me is to speak some so there you go. Onto number one.

1. Great Tiger

If you’ve seen my other stuff here on Tumblr, you probably knew this was coming. My very first post on Tumblr, as well as the second, was about Great Tiger and I have tons of pictures of him in my likes. I guess I just have a thing for charming arrogant divas. Seriously, while he’s not as over the top as someone like Disco Kid or Don Flamenco, Great Tiger is a total diva and kind of a show off. He’s always using his clones to glorify himself or taunt you, which would normally be annoying but for some reason, it’s not in his case. And it’s not because I don’t know what he’s saying, the inflection in his voice makes it clear enough that he’s trash talking (and I’ve looked up translations). It’s because Great Tiger has a sort of cold determination, like he is ready to destroy you first, glorify himself after, probably the reason he doesn’t have a taunt, unlike nearly everyone else in the game. He is completely focused on the match and very cool-headed as well. He’s very respectable, even when he’s literally telling you to go drink your mother’s milk. On a side note, I looked up those translations as a kid and I still can’t get over the fact that that is something he actually says. Like, what on earth Nintendo? Still, it’s kinda funny to me. Anyways, I love Great Tiger’s fights. His contender form is fun and I love that intermission scene where he switches places with Doc, showing what a likeable douche he is but his title defense form is my favourite in the game. I really love the magical element, what can I say? The flashing jewel is like a game of Simon put to boxing, I love that he teleports all over the place, the Magic Rush is gorgeous bullshit, and the fight keeps me on my toes but not to the point of being impossibly hard. It’s also fun to experiment with certain elements of the fight, because it can be incredibly varied depending on what you do. just really fun. Whether I do the special knockout or play through the whole fight, I have a fun time fighting Great Tiger. It also helps that his music is spectacular, my favourite in the game. I dunno, those bongos just feel so good on the ears. Great Tiger is also just really interesting in general, and I feel like there’s a lot of unanswered questions about him. How does he have magic? (I know the NES version has an explanation for this but the Wii version does not and is substantially different.) What is the extent of his abilities? Is the jewel the source of his power? It seemed to be directly linked to his corporeal clones in title defense. Is he even of this world? I don’t know, but damn it’s fun to speculate on. I’d love a story just about his backstory, how he got his magic, how he became a boxer, I care about that stuff. So yeah, Great Tiger is the most interesting character in this game, and that’s why he’s my favourite. (I also low-key crush on him, but that’s subjective :)

Anyways, hope you enjoyed my list, it was kinda long, but I have a lot of opinions on this game and this is a good place to put it.

#punch out #punch out wii #glass joe #von kaiser #disco kid #king hippo #piston hondo #bear hugger #great tiger #don flamenco #aran ryan #soda popinski #bald bull #super macho man #mr.sandman #sandman #opinions #favorite characters

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marvella15 · 4 years

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Astaire & Rogers Rewatch Part 4: Top Hat

• So we’ve reached Top Hat, which is generally everyone’s favorite including @elloette. Even many film historians say it’s the best Astaire/Rogers film. And it’s definitely one of the best but not the best imo. It does however have some of my favorite dances and songs and probably the most famous dance Astaire and Rogers ever created.

• Top Hat is kind of like a more sophisticated version of Gay Divorcee. It also has probably the best example of the Big White Set that was ubiquitous to these films. If I’m not mistaken they dyed the water black to make the set stand out more *goes to check IMDB* yep!

• Our characters/actors: Jerry Travers (Fred Astaire), Dale Tremont (Ginger Rogers), Horace Hardwick (Edward Everett Horton), Madge Hardwick (Helen Broderick), Alberto Beddini (Erik Rhodes)

• I never realized it before but Horace and his valet are like a bickering old couple. In many ways, they make far more sense as a pair than Horace and Madge.

• I’m back again to gush about Astaire’s singing. He slides effortlessly into “No Strings (I’m Fancy Free)” straight from the dialogue, and it sounds perfectly natural. Like the way hb and I integrate Parks and Rec quotes into everyday dialogue, but obviously Astaire is a bit fancier.

• His line about feeling like a sailor at sea is fitting since, in his next film, he will indeed be a sailor.

• This is a favorite solo routine for sure. He’s just so joyful and in the groove. I especially like when he taps out the beat on the side table and startles Horace with short burst of taps.

• Horace thinks he’s such hot shit that some random young woman has come to see him at his hotel late at night.

• Astaire didn’t think he was handsome and didn’t enjoy watching himself on screen, hence the grimace when he looks in the mirror, which is played for a laugh. But that opinion runs contrary to Astaire’s place as one of the leading men of Hollywood and as one part of some of the most romantic moments in film history, primarily with Rogers. It lends credence to Katharine Hepburn’s famous saying that Astaire gave Rogers “class,” and she gave him “sex” (metaphorically). He’s arguably never sexier than when dancing with Ginger Rogers.

• When Dale comes upstairs to tell him to shut up, she gives zero effs. Doesn’t care that he’s trying to be charming or funny, or that he’s sorry for waking her, or that he’s flirting with her, doesn’t care about him at all in any way. Just shut up so I can sleep, is her message.

• But then. She is charmed by his soft shoe dance on a sandy floor to lull her to sleep.

• Spotted: young Lucille Ball as the florist’s assistant. We’ll see her in the next movie too where she’ll have her first ever credited roll.

• Astaire’s face when he asks, “Don’t I even get any thanks?” is so heartfelt and open. It always makes me awwwwwwww.

• Another favorite line of dialogue from these films:

Jerry, holding an umbrella in a downpour: “May I rescue you?”

Dale, unimpressed: “No, thank you. I prefer being in distress.”

• “Isn’t it a Lovely Day?” is a flirtatious song and they act it that way but the true flirting comes in the dance, which is about partnership and equality. They imitate one another throughout the scene, starting even while Astaire is singing. Rogers puts a hand on her chest and he then does the same. They’re dressed alike as well, thanks to her riding outfit, and that furthers the theme by making her more masculine to match him but it’s also advantageous for some of the moves they’ll perform, such as when she lifts him.

• Jerry thinks he’s in control. He’s surprised, but pleased, to find Dale has gotten up and followed him as he begins to dance. He thinks he’s won her over. Then she mocks him a bit by sticking her hands in her pockets like he’s done and surprises him even more by busting out her own little extra tap. She’s telling him she’s not there just to follow his lead and any relationship between them will only work if they’re equals.

• They’re definitely testing each other in this dance, finding out if they are drift compatible. Trying this step and that to see if the other can keep up. She keeps glancing at him in a self-satisfied way. He crosses his arms to see if she’ll do the same. They circle the space mirroring each other with every movement, and while they’re in sync, it’s still like one is leading and the other is following. Until they clap in unison, skip forward, and land at the exact same time. They spin around neatly and he glances over, smiling in pleasure, and so is she.

• The first time they touch is over a minute and a half in and it’s only to lend a hand so each can twirl in turn. They glide forward and back in a wide loop as the music builds and now they’re smiling in earnest and it’s not just the characters; it’s Astaire and Rogers. He mouths something to her, maybe more than once, and they’re both clearly enjoying themselves.

• It’s only in the last 30 seconds or so that they actually touch for real, and it’s because she has crooked her arm in invitation. He spins them around the bandstand together and although it’s a fairly standard move Astaire uses a lot, because they’re both in trousers, you can see just how close they are to one another, knees and hips pressed together.

• And now they combine both elements of the dance: imitation and partnership. They move as reflections of one another and take turns lifting each other. During this portion is where you once again can see the acting stop and the actors just being themselves. As they near the end of the dance, Astaire and Rogers both grin in delight and he maybe looks especially proud of her. This was a technical dance with a lot of movement and she nails it. While her gowns often add to their duets, it’s routines like this, where she’s in trousers, that you can see her technical skill really shine.

• One of the many ways Rogers contributed to the dancing partnership was in being their “button finder,” which means she was good at figuring out how to end a scene or dance. The best example is at the end of this dance, where she came up with the idea for them to finish by having Jerry and Dale simply shake hands.

• Don’t miss the sex joke in the middle of Horace and Jerry’s argument:

Horace, who is concerned about scandal ahead of Jerry’s show: “Why, I’d rather have had it (getting slapped) happen to me than to you.”

Jerry, not missing a beat: “Oh, of course, if you enjoy that sort of thing.”

Horace: “I do, immensely… (realizing what he’s just said) Now don’t be absurd!”

• Dale’s line, “I hate men. I hate you. I hate all men!” is a mood.

• Beddini’s response, “I am no man. I am Beddini!” is how all men think of themselves.

• Interesting that all we’ve seen Dale and Jerry do is dance a very fun, flirtatious, but not necessarily romantic duet (ok, fine it was in a bandstand while it was raining which is pretty romantic but you get it), and yet she says, “How could he have made love to me when he was married all the time?” 🤔🤔🤔

Further 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

Horace: “You sure you didn’t forget yourself in the park?

Jerry: “Positive. If I ever forgot myself with that girl, I’d remember.”

• Seriously, there are some vibes between Horace and his valet. *gaydar pings very quietly out of earshot of the censors*

• I like Astaire’s little warm-up in his dressing room. Seems like the kind of thing he probably did irl.

• One of my absolute favorites moments is when Jerry instructs Horace to charter a plane so they can fly down to meet Dale. Horace asks, “What kind of plane?” And Jerry, already about to miss his stage cue, leans back into the doorway quickly to say, “One with wiiiings!”

• The physical “invitation” Jerry uses when singing the appropriate line in “Top Hat, White Tie and Tails” is actually Madge’s telegram about Dale. He took it on stage with him after snatching it from Horace’s hands.

• There are conflicting stories about how many canes Astaire broke while filming this sequence and which take was used. One account says he broke 12 canes in frustration while failing to get the number absolutely right and the 13th (and last cane) was used in the final take, which was then printed. But Astaire recalled that Jimmy Cagney, who was visiting the set at the time, advised him that he’d nailed it on the second take. Astaire wanted to try a couple more but the next day, agreed that Cagney was right and the second take was used.

• Shooting down his rivals with a cane and using taps for bullets was based on a gimmick Astaire had used years before in a terrible Broadway show. Here it became one of his most iconic creations. I especially like when he fires off a shot at the Horace’s stuffy club members in the audience.

• How on earth did Dale think that Jerry was married to Madge? In what world are they compatible? Granted, she hasn’t actually met Horace but still.

• While Horace is in the bathtub in his shower cap:

Horace: “Jerry! I don’t think it’s safe for you to see that girl alone.”

Jerry: “Well, I don’t think it would be quite proper for you to receive her that way.”

• In most Astaire/Rogers movies, he has a lot of bravado and pursues her but she almost always ends up shocking the hell out of him when she turns out to also be ballsy af. In Gay Divorcee, she invited him to her room. In Top Hat, she comes up to see him alone and then kisses him.

Hardly a romantic kiss btw. But we still aren’t to the place where we talk about the lack of kisses in this film series.

• Aaaaaand again, Astaire’s singing is so perfect for this song. He leads straight from conversation into the lyrics. The music has already been playing in the background, and he makes it appear he’s created the lyrics of “Cheek to Cheek” just for her in this moment.

• Rogers does a magnificent job of softening when he starts to sing. Her eyes flick up and down his face, touched that he’s serenading her. And when Astaire drops his tone on the word “seek,” his gaze is heated for a just a moment and her lips quirk a little. Being sung to is awkward but she makes it seem like the most romantic thing.

• Like in “Night in Day” in Gay Divorcee, this dance is about seduction but its more developed than in the prior film. Because the characters have already danced together, elements of “Isn’t it a Lovely Day?” seep in, such as the short tap routine they do side by side. Instead of getting her to simply give in to him, he is asking her to trust him, to remember the equality and partnership they’d built before. He almost never takes his eyes off her for the entire dance, even watching her out of the corner of his eye when they’re side by side.

• I would say most of this dance falls into the “acting” category but there are a couple Astaire and Rogers moments that peek through. After the first time he leans her back and them brings them together so their faces are close, he smiles privately to her. After their little tap section, he swings her back into his arms and they’re both smiling in delight.

• A few times the only place they’re touching is his hand on her back and there’s something very Victorian hot about that.

• I’ve always liked the moment where she twirls and he waits, hand outstretched, expression openly adoring, until she takes his hand without looking and they’re in sync again.

• Another callback to “Isn’t it a Lovely Day?”: In that dance, she crooked her arm in invitation to him. Here, she leaves her arm up so he can wrap it around his neck.

• Several times he leans her back, each time dipping her a little further and keeping her there a little longer, but never failing to hold her and bring her up. Each time showing her she can trust him. When they reach the climax, she bends back completely and he holds her for several looooong seconds before very slowly returning her to her feet. Complete surrender and trust from them both. And after that moment, there is no need for anything else to cement their relationship. He can simply bring them cheek to cheek.

• Something that is evident in most of his partnered dances but perhaps most obvious in a duet like this with Rogers is that Astaire was very good about making his partner the central focus. Your eyes instinctively watch Rogers, not him, throughout the performance. But credit must also be given to Rogers herself for commanding the screen so thoroughly not solely because of her elegant dancing and gorgeous gown but because she remembers to keep acting the entire time. We never doubt that Dale is falling in love with Jerry through this dance.

• Sooo the feather dress. So much to say, some of which you may already know:

The short story is, as soon as they started filming the dance, the feathers on the dress flew everywhere. No one wanted that dress to be used, except Ginger Rogers, and she refused to wear something else.

Director Mark Sandrich, who was a dick to Rogers all the time, wanted her to wear a gown from Gay Divorcee. She told him to GTFO. Then she called her badass mom who came to the set to also tell him to GTFO.

Because they could be little shits, Astaire and Hermes Pan made up lyrics mocking the dress, set to the tune of "Cheek to Cheek.” They went, "Feathers, I hate feathers, And I hate them so that I can hardly speak, And I never find the happiness I seek, With those chicken feathers dancing cheek to cheek."

Rogers was pissed, not in the least because she had designed the dress herself and also they were ostrich feathers tyvm. Tbh it does look pretty magnificent in the final edit of the film… but that was after every single feather had been hand sewn into place. And you can still see some of them float off.

In their next film, Astaire is going to get whacked in the face by the heavy, beaded sleeve of Rogers’ dress so he really had it easy here.

He also knew he’d gone too far in poking fun at her dress and generally being an ass about the entire situation. Astaire apologized to Rogers by giving her a gold feather for her charm bracelet and affectionately calling her “Feathers” in the accompanying note (“Dear Feathers, I love ya! -Fred”). The nickname stuck. Later, he would also give her a beautiful travel watch that was housed in a golden envelope. Engraved on the outside of the envelope in Astaire’s writing? “By Hand/To Feathers/All best love -Fred.”

• The dress is absolutely essential to the dreamy quality of this dance. It makes her look like she’s floating along, caught up in being in love and in his arms. She even seems to come out of a daydream once they’ve finished dancing.

• The plot and dialogue jump through so many hoops to avoid Madge ever once saying, “my husband’s friend, Jerry,” which would clear up everything instantly.

• Interesting that when Dale reminisces sadly about her love for Jerry, whom she doesn’t think she can actually be with, the tune that plays is “Isn’t it a Lovely Day?” and not “Cheek to Cheek.” High romance is lovely but sometimes nothing beats being able to laugh and have fun together.

• Horace and Jerry have been sharing the bridal suite, as it was the only room available when they arrived. But now that Dale has impulsively agreed to marry Beddini, the management asks if Jerry and Horace would be wiling to give up the suite in exchange for a different room.

Jerry: “Well, we’ve hardly settled in it yet… Have we, angel?”

Horace: “No, and all our clothes are...(realizing Jerry is teasing him) Oh, please.”

• Upon finally realizing what’s actually been going on with Dale:

Jerry: “She’s been mistaking me for Horace all this time.”

Madge: “No wonder she thought Horace was fascinating.”

Horace: “Heh, no wonder. (then immediately) I resent that.”

• Perhaps poking fun at the way dances had been filmed until he took charge, Astaire and Rogers’ portion of “The Piccolino” starts with a close up of their feet. But instead of then cutting to a full body shot, the shot widens to show them and the dance continues all in one take.

• This may be a strange place to talk about how right Astaire and Rogers look together but I’m gonna do it anyway. Their heights are very complimentary and they move like extensions of one another. The routine is quick and bouncy, incorporating several styles and switching between them rapidly. Throughout, Astaire and Rogers elevate one another with their individual grace and skill. That element is only going to continue to grow in the next couple of films.

• At one point he whips around to pull her in so they can spin like they did in the bandstand. As she waits for him, Rogers’ face lights up and they go into the move smiling wide. Soon after, Astaire playfully raises his eyebrows to her. At another point, they step forward slowly, eyes on each other, and there’s a glimpse of that private world they sometimes slip into during their dances. The whole time, they’re absolutely flawless.

• It wouldn’t have made sense to record the taps, etc live like “I’ll Be Hard to Handle” in Roberta but I wonder what might’ve been picked if they had. Aside from when they clap and there’s no sound, Astaire says something to her when they’re dancing in a circle facing each other. She definitely seems to be giggling at several points.

• When the music kicks up and they go into an energetic section, he bows and flourishes his hand to her, once again making her the main focus.

• While filming the final scene of the movie, Sandrich (the director) wanted the duo to do a short ending dance and he told them this on the day of filming. Astaire and Rogers were peeved. Every bit of dancing, no matter how small, was always rehearsed. But Sandrich, who, again, was a dick, insisted. According to Rogers, she privately told Astaire to simply move her about however he wanted and she would follow along. In all likelihood, they probably did whip up this little dance and rehearse it quickly but you’d never know it wasn’t planned ahead of time.

She obviously had a lot of trust in his ability to lead them both but she also knew he was an excellent social dancer, meaning he didn’t necessarily need a pre-rehearsed routine. And she knew this because they’d gone dancing back in New York when they were dating.

• Here’s a cool behind the scenes picture from The Academy’s archive taken during the final scene.

• And so we’ve finished Top Hat, another glamorous adventure for Astaire and Rogers. Up is a more working class outing: Follow the Fleet.

#fred astaire #ginger rogers #top hat #classic hollywood #old hollywood #astaire and rogers rewatch #fred and ginger #any gifs without credit are mine #bc sometimes i just need a specific gif #and no one else has done it or i can't find it #so you're welcome to the three people reading these posts

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popculturebuffet · 3 years

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DWD Reviews: A Brush with Oblivion Or Is Everyone Blind and Stupid? (Commission by WeirdKev27)

Well this was a mixed bag if I ever saw one. Taking a break from the Ride, since Kev commissioned this during my still going black friday sale, seriously 3 bucks for episode commissions get after it, I thought this would be pretty good.. good villain with a good gimmick. Could be intresting. I didn’t count on EVERYONE but Honker, Gosalyn and Splatter Phoenix themselves daring to be stupid. I mean my god in god we trust, this one was frustrating. I WANTED to like it for it’s brilliant qualities but the main plot is so frustrating, Let’s discuss shall we? First off WHY Kev commissioned this one. He was waiting till I did Quackerjack and Bushroot but he decided to do it early because sale prices. See this is a BONUS chapter in “March to Justice Ducks”. It’s very thinly associated with it, but honestly had I had the idea myself I would’ve gladly done this and I thank Kev for it. See Tad Stones regretted putting Negaduck in the fearsome five. It’s not that Negs is a bad character.. it’s the opposite. Being such a dynamic and interesting one.. meant he overshadowed the other four to the point they didn’t get as much of a chance to shine. So in hindsight, had he had the chance to do it all over again he would’ve put Splatter Phoenix here in there instead. And I’m incllined to agree: as the comics show, Quackerjack could’ve been the leader easy and if not him Megavolt, but neither would’ve overpowered the others. That being said the five we did get are great, and the dynamic is fine, but I can’t fault him for wanting them to be equals instead of minons.

And honestly , and getting to one of the episodes strengths, Splatter Phoenix IS a thoroughly awesome villain with a unique and interesting power. In short she’s an experimental artist who through her experimenting, created a paint brush that can bring paintings to life and control them as well as allow her to travel in and out of them. She’s voiced here by Dani Staahl, who i’ve never heard of but is terrific. And shockingly, she’s voiced by a rather sizeable voice next time with Andrea Martin of SCTV fame. And if your wondering if i’m going to cover her other appearance you are extremely correct, just probably further down the line or for another commission. But her powers are used REALLY creatively by the episode, having her and Darkwing and Co run through various abstract art I can’t really name outside of the salvador dahli piece at the end because I don’t know art. That being said, it still looks utterly gorgeous and while I can’t name most of the pieces or the artists behind them, the wiki does say most are pastiches. They are recognizable though and it does look utterly stunning from a cubist piece to the dahli finale to Gosalyn’s dinosaur picture seen above. Each style is unique, crisp and beautifully animated and they and splatter are the saving grace of the episode. These sequences are some of the best i’ve seen from the show and, especially for a low budget 90′s kids show even a disney one, are REALLY impressive and would be even today. And her attidue helps. While her gimmick is simple, she talks in intellectual art speak most of the time, it’s funny enough to enjoy. Plus, it weirdly does things for me and I don’t know how to respond to that so let’s move on.

My shame aside, you may be wondering two things then: Why I don’t like this episode, and why i’m not covering it my usual style. Well the answer to both is otherwise.. this episode is REALLY damn obnoxious. Splatter takes up enough to make it watchable.. but the main spine of the episode not only pisses me off in a very specific way, as it follows a story trope I CANNOT stand, but in a general way it’s just frustrating and REALLY dumb. The basic premise is it’s children’s art night at the musem, with the kids various paintings being displayed, so naturally The Mallards and the Muddlefoots are both there, with Honker having painted a painting within a painting and Gosalyn having painted a horrifing but neat dinosaur piece. It’s then.. the plot starts and my patience evaporates. Honker spots Splatter in a painting and spots her comit a theft but no one belivies him. They belivie it wasn’t him, because he dosen’t have the target on him, but his parents think he’s making stuff up and so does Drake. Or in other words...

I mean.. nothing about this works. I’d get skepticism in a normal setting, and this was produced earlier in the series though as for where your guess is as good as mine, but.. this is a world where appliances were brought to life, a water dog publicly ransomed the cities water suply, and and an evil toymaker raised hell, not to mention the bat based pizza theft. A woman running in and out of a painting SHOULD NOT be that farfetched but no everyone just assumes the kid is lying and dosen’t bother asking why. Including Drake.. everyone else.. fine, Herb’s a moron and we’ll get to him in a second. But Drake has fought so much weird shit at this point, you’d THINK he’d think it was a supervillian and not just honker lying. You’d think but no. Thankfully he finds out pretty quick, so he’s more tolerable but it still hurts my head that he’s this stubborn.

But as I just hinted at.. Herb and Binkie are worse as they repeadtly think their son is a liar and ground him over it... even though they KNOW Honker dosen’t lie, Gosalyn admits he can’t and admits she’s failed to teach him, and then instead of you know believing their kid, blame Gos for it, which amount's to absolutley nothing so why have this plot point! All it did was make me hate herb as much as Drake does.. I mean if he’s this terrible a parent and this dense that rather than believe his own kid didn’t do the impossible or wasn’t covering for a thief that his friend taught him how to lie, no wonder Drake can’t stand him. The voice dosen’t help, as normally it’s tolerable but it’s extra loud and extra insufferable this episode. It just makes already insufferable scnees worse.

But the crowner for moron of this episode is the curator, who repadtly, when seeing Honker there, blames him for the thefts, and at one point when he tries to enter a painting HAS A CHILD ARRESTED. He has a small child, who couldn’t of possibly taken any of this.. arrested. Now granted one of the paintings is destroyed.. but the can wasn’t left behind by splatter phoenix. So he had a 10 year old arrested... on charges of propety destrictuion? What.. why would he do this? WHy would his parents belivie this/ WHY. it’s agonizingly dumb. It hurts.. it hurts and I understandably didn’t want to go on loop with this asshole. But that’s what the episode feels like and it only gets broken because Splatter outright tells the curator so she can ransom mona lisa’s mouth! GAH.

But yeah that’s our big setpiece, as Splatter carriers mona’s annoying mouth around through some cool set pieces. We also get a neat bit earlier of Gosalyn stuck in a piccaso, which looks really damn neat and also really painful. And apparently she can leave because drake enters? I dunno, it’s not the dumbest thing about this episode. We do get the curator catching Darkwing tryign to take the painting.. which not only has him actually blamed with a crime resonably for the first time since the pilot, but is clever and gets a good line out of the deal. And that brings me to another reason the episode is so frustrating: so much of the plot is just dropped threads. The Waddlemeyers don’t want honker around gosalyn. Goes nowhere. Gosalyn is trapped in a painting,. Resolved pretty easily. Darkwing might take the fall for this GOES NOWHERE. MY SANITY. GOES AWAY.

Finally.. I just don’t like this stock plot. The “Character is telling the truth but no one belivies them”. it CAN be done well. Amphibia did this plot well in season 1 and Gravity Falls used it well as it was revealed Stan DOES know, he just was playing dumb. It can be done right.. it’s just more often than not a kid is put through hell for something they have on control over by some asshole adult or some other kid. or an adult is put through it. I’ve never enjoyed this sort of Michigan J Frog bullshit, and never will. And here it’s an innocent, honest, good kid being sent to JAIL breifly for .. telling the truth. With no reward. Just nope episode over. fuck this episode.

So before we wrap, the finale, which again is pretty good. Honker finds one of Splatter’s brushes, uses it to restore Darking and Co and it’s pretty cleve.r. then it gets dumb again with Darkwing escorting pheonix away and the muddlefoots finally beliving their son after mona lisa’s smile tells them he isn’t a liar.. okay whatever we’re done.

FINAL. THOUGHTS.

This episode is split down the middle :It’s half a good episode, wtih great sequences, great jokes and great use of classic art.. and half GOD MAKE IT STOP AGGRIVATION. It’s easily the worst darkwing i’ve seen so far, and yet SITLL has stuff worth watching it for. The painting sequences are still some of the shows best.. it’s jsut saddled with a plot I hate and that aggrivates me. This was not good, and i’ve seen much better and hopefully Splatter’s other appearance is less aggravating. we will see eventually. Till then, there’s always another rainbow.

#commission #darkwing duck #drake mallard #splatter phoenix #gosalyn mallard #honker muddlefoot #herb muddlefoot #a brush with oblivion

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takashi0 · 4 years

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10, 11, 19, 21, 27, 33 for the robot day celebration

Favorite human character(s)

Sari Sumdac is the alltime GOAT, and for good reason. She’s charming, she’s funny, she’s legitimately useful even BEFORE her upgrade into her older self, and she’s just all around great. The Kids from TF Prime are a close second because of Raf’s smarts, Miko’s attitude, and Jack being the smartest human kid in TF history by far.

Favorite ship(s)

Optimus/Elita is great. Nothing like two badass warriors being badass and in love together amirite?

And my inner robofucker wants to see how Charlie would interact with a version of Bumblebee who can actually talk and has his memory fixed.

A character you love that no one else seems to

Punch/Counter Punch. His gimmick as a double agent with the ability to disguise himself as a ‘con is absolutely GENIUS and it frustrates me how few series have utilized him at all, let alone taking advantage of the promising bio he has of developing a split personality from the stress of his espionage job.

A pairing you love that no one else seems to

Canonwise, I think there’s potential for Optimus and Megs to have a ridiculous yet wonderful Kismesis-type relationship like Lego!Batman and Joker. Like. Could you IMAGINE how many laughs we could get from the subtext?

In purely fandom circle terms though, there’s people complaining about Optimus/Elita in WFC Siege, and I’ve got more beef with them than a high quality butcher. STOP BEING AFRAID OF GOOD PAIRINGS BECAUSE THEY’RE HET, YOU COWARDS!

A bot you want to be best friends with

If it counts, I’d like Optimus to be my dad.

If not, uhhhh, Any of the Autobots really. Bumblebee’s the go-to human buddy, though I almost don’t wanna pick him because it’s so basic bitch. Maybe Arcee? G1 or TFPrime versions, either’s good really.

What your alt mode would be if you were a Cybertronian

Maximal Unicorn. Because I’m not super knowledgeable on Cars and wouldn’t know what to pick for a vehicle. =P

#TF #Transformers #voltrathesparking

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canumoveurseatup-no · 5 years

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Puffballs (Bucky x Black!Stark!Reader)

A/N: This was inspired by my little sister because I had to do her hair while my mom and step dad were out and she said “I wish my hair was thinner” and it honestly made me a little sad because in a world where black girls have a hard time accepting parts of themselves that society judges, it’s important to instill the value that beauty isn’t just pin straight hair or light skin. So enjoy.

Summary: You and Bucky’s daughter starts to have some self identity and self-image issues at a young age. Bucky lets his daughter know there is nothing wrong with what she was given.

Pairings: Bucky x Black!Stark!Reader, Bucky x Black!Daughter (parental of course)

WC: 4.6K

Warnings: Uh, a little angsty, self image issues, I think that’s it. Then fluff!

REQUESTS AND TAGS ARE OPEN!!!!

Please leave feedback! Comments, reblogs and likes mean so much <3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bucky sat in the common area of the compound with you guys’ daughter, Annalise, with the rest of the team. You were away on a solo mission and Annalise had begged Bucky to see her aunts and uncles at the compound, he couldn’t deny the six year old’s puppy eyes.

They all sat there watching Paw Patrol as she, Tony, Sam, Steve and Natasha sang the theme song. She had everyone wrapped around her finger, but those four the most. Especially Tony, he loved his granddaughter to death.

“Papa, can I play with your hair while I watch Paw Patrol, please?,” she sung sweetly.

Bucky slid in the floor in front of her and leaned himself back on the couch, “Of course, honeybee”

“Yay!,” she squealed.

She took out her barrettes, hair scrunchies, brushes and combs ready to play hairdresser. She reveled in the way she could comb and brush straight through her papa’s without having to add some stuff to it like mama does to hers. She loved the way he could sleep on it without needing a headscarf and bonnet.

“Can I give you puffballs like mine?” she asked. She got her scrunchies ready to place them in his hair along with butterfly clips.

“You sure can,” he smiled up at her. She giggled back at him and went back to multi-tasking between watching Paw Patrol and doing her papa’s hair.

“Uncle Sammy reminds me of Skye,” she blurts out.

On the screen she watched as the puppy named Skye spread out her wings and started flying around to help the community of Adventure Bay.

“Why is that, Anna?,” Sam asks.

“Uh, ‘cause she flies around like you, duh. Her gimmick is just cuter,” she stuck her tongue out at him.

“How do you even know what ‘gimmick’ means?,” Sam laughed at the little you.

“Poppop Tony says it a lot. He says, “everyone has a damn gimmick nowadays and I’m sick of it’“ she mocked Tony perfectly.

Tony widened his eyes, he was not expecting the child to repeat him.

“Language,” Bucky glared at her and she pouted.

“You sound like uncle Stevie” she rolled her eyes.

“Watch it,” Steve warned playfully.

She gigged and turned back to her client to finish.

She put his hair in two identical pigtails and did her best to make it puff up like hers. She brushed it up as much as she could but it just wouldn’t stay. She did her best to keep from getting frustrated with herself. She did what her mama always told her in cases of her fast impending frustration, take a few minutes and breathe before finishing.

Once Annalise felt like she had calmed down enough, she went back and tried again but nothing was working! She felt tears well up in her eyes and just sat there staring at the back of her dad’s head not knowing what to do.

She looked around the room and saw everyone was really engrossed into Paw Patrol. She eyed everyone to see whose hair would work better to make look like hers, but everyone in the room had hair like her papa. Uncle Sammy and Rhodey wouldn’t even work, they had no hair.

She reached up to touch her hair and then reached out with her other hand to touch Bucky’s. The textures far from each other, everyone had hair like him, she wanted hair like him. It was easy to work with, all the little cartoon characters on TV even seemed to have hair like his too. Why not her?

She sighed and put her hair stuff away. Annalise felt her face growing hot and her face scrunching up as she started to cry. She removed herself from the couch and rushed out of the common area.

“Anna?,” Bucky called out but that just sped up her pace.

Everyone looked around in confusion as Annalise never stormed off like that.

He went after her and found her in her playhouse in her playroom. She had her back to the door but he could still see her little form through the window.

“Honeybee, what happened?,”

“Go away!,” she called out, “You and mama said when I’m in a mood to step away and take some time and space for myself. You’re keeping that from happening.”

Bucky was at a loss for words. He hated seeing his daughter upset like this. This normally only happened when her mama wouldn’t take her to the park then to get ice cream, or the time Y/N wouldn’t get Anna a dog, or the time she found out she could only lift heavy stuff like him but not turn into a snake like her Uncle Loki. All the other times this happened, you were there to calm him down and keep him away until she came to you guys ready to talk.

But you weren’t here and Bucky felt the heat and tingles of anxiousness run down his body as he didn’t know what to do. Without you there to pull him away, he didn’t know what to do, he wanted to comfort his little honeybee.

“Baby-,”

“Papa, go!!,” she hit the fake window and he saw the sadness in her big brown eyes, “Just go,” she whimpered.

Bucky didn’t want to go, he wanted to sit right here and wait until Anna came out the door and crawled into his arms. But he heard your voice in his head, give her time.

He huffed and reluctantly got up to leave, he stood in the doorway and heard her sniffle and hiccup. He closed his eyes and shook his head as he left. He knew she would come to him, she always does but he hated waiting.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“She okay?,” Wanda asked.

“She’s bawling her eyes out and won’t tell me why,” He hung his head, the pigtails swinging with his head. The image would have been funny if he wasn’t so bothered.

“Crying?” everyone says in unison.

”Why would she be crying?,” Tony stood up quickly, ready to comfort his granddaughter.

“If I knew I wouldn’t be here freaking out,” Bucky’s tone was clipped and he didn’t mean for it to be, he just took his daughter and her feelings seriously.

“Y/N has this rule where if Annalise gets frustrated or upset then she needs to take some time to herself to calm down so she doesn’t lash out on anyone. To come to us when she’s ready,” Bucky shook his head and sat back in the chair staring at his hands in his lap

“Usually Y/N is here to keep me from hovering over Anna while she’s calming down but she’s not and my daughter is bawling and I’ve never been alone with her breaking down like this and I feel like I’m failing her. I know she’s just doing what she was taught and will come to me later like she always does but I want to be comforting my daughter now. I want to know what’s wrong now, so I can fix it. I’ve never been alone when this happens, I feel lost,” He huffs as he finishes his rant and Tony claps a hand on his shoulder before sitting down beside him.

“You’re not alone, Bucky. We’re here to help you. Y/N did the same thing when she was younger, it helped her harness and channel her emotions. That’s all she wants for Anna,” Tony reassured him.

“Everything is going to be okay, Buck” Steve smiled at his bestfriend.

“I just don't understand why she’d run off crying. We were having a good time,”

“That is weird. She never gets upset unless provoked.” Bruce points out.

“Which one of you did it?” Nat and Thor said at the same time, eyeing everyone around the room ready to sock it to whoever dare hurt their dear Anna.

“Here’s the little one of the hour,” Vision’s voice catches everyone’s attention.

Annalise comes in with her stuffed bee and crawls on the chair and watches the TV as if nothing happened.

She felt her family staring at her before turning and questioning them, “Why are y’all staring at me?,”

“Why were you so upset, honey? You lashed out on me for a second and I was worried,”

“Hormones,” she shrugged.

Everyone looked at the six year old with scrunched up faces. Hormones?

“Sweetheart, I don’t think you can use that excuse yet,” Wanda arched a brow at the smart little girl.

“Why not? I hear you, mama, aunt Nat and nana Pepper use it all the time,” She looks at Wanda with furrowed brows.

“That’s because we’re different. We’re a lot bigger,” Natasha explains.

“Well...,” Annalise thinks of another excuse to make, “I’m just a kid. We cry all the time.” her words were hurried yet unsure.

“I know that’s not what’s wrong. Can you please talk to me.” Bucky felt like he was gonna explode. He hated the idea of not being there for his daughter. He felt like she didn’t trust him enough to tell him.

“Papa... I will tell you when I’m ready. Please let it go,” she huffed and played with her stuffed bee’s antennas.

Bucky looked at Tony sorrowfully. Tony just told Bucky not to think about it too much, that she will come to him when she’s ready, but now is not that time.

He hated waiting, he wanted to fix the problem now. He wanted to help his honeybee. He would call Y/N, but her talking time was limited due to the mission.

“Okay, I understand”

----------------

Bucky was getting Annalise ready for bed. He sat with his back against the headboard with her sitting between his legs, her attention on the TV as she watched a documentary on dinosaurs.

He sat with a spray bottle, curl crème and a wide tooth as he did three strand twists in his daughter’s hair. He adored her curls. The way the perfect spirals were shiny and springy, he just wanted to play with it all day like she did with his. He loved doing her hair, something she obviously got from you and he could not get enough of it. You and Bucky always took turns styling your daughter’s hair and most times he argued with you because he saw this cute kid’s hair style while shopping in the beauty store and wanted to do it.

With you being away, he had free reign and wouldn’t have to worry about trying to argue with you about it.

While detangling a section of her hair, he caught a knot that had Anna whimpering in pain, “Ow, papa!,”

“Sorry, honeybee,” He sprayed more of his water and leave in conditioner mixture in her and worked the knot out.

“I wish my hair was thinner,” she mumbled quckly.

For Bucky’s senses to be enhanced, he actually didn’t quite catch what she said but he could hear her distasteful tone.

“What was that?,” He leaned to the side to see her face better.

“Nothing, papa. Just tired. How much more do we have to go?,”

Her question caught Bucky off guard. Anna never questions how long until her hair is finished. She sits there as calm as the night sea, just letting her parents do her hair.

“Uh, not too much. Then we’ll get you in bed, okay?,”

“Okay,” she answered. her shoulders sagged as he finished his current twist. Ten more and he’s done. With his daughter all washed up and ready for bed, he puts her bonnet on and switches the light off.

“Goodnight, honeybee,” He kissed her forehead and held her tight against him as she hummed a goodnight. It took him a while to get to sleep, he was worried about his daughter. But your voice of reason was always there in the back of his mind to calm him down.

-----------------

When Annalise made sure her papa was good and well asleep, she slipped out of his arms and found herself treading to the common area. It was quiet throughout the compound, except for the TVs heard from the others’ rooms.

She sat on the couch and looked around the area and sighed.

“FRIDAY?,” She called out.

“Hi little Stark,” the woman’s voice low since it was night time.

“It’s Stark-Barnes, FRIDAY,” the six year old giggled.

“I know. But your grandpa wanted me to address you as the little Stark. He said little Stark-Barnes didn’t have the right ring to it,”

“Anything can have the right ring to it if you don't overthink it,”

“Try telling him that,” the AI laughed, “What can I do for you, Annalise?,”

“I have a question,” She whispered.

“Go ahead,”

“Is papa really my papa?,” the little girl finally asked.

FRIDAY took a minute to answer. Why would she ask such a thing?

“Of course he is. Records prove it. Why that question?,”

“If he’s really my papa then why don’t I have his hair? And if pop pop is really my pop pop why doesn’t mama have hair like him?,” such a curious little bean, but there was nothing wrong with it.

“Because your mommy’s mom’s, your other nana’s, genes were more dominant than your pop pop’s. Same thing with you. Your mommy’s genes were more dominant than your daddy’s. Everyone has certain characteristics that come from one parent and other characteristics that come from the other. That’s what makes you who you are. That’s what makes you unique, Anna,”

“Papa’s hair is better than mine,” she cried.

“Don’t cry, Anna. Not it’s not,”

“Yes it is. It doesn’t get tangles in it like mine. It doesn’t take forever to do like mine, it doesn’t get poufy when it gets wet like mine. I wish I had his hair. Everyone else here has hair like him,” she tried to reason.

“Annalise, listen to me,” FRIDAY gently spoke, “Just because everyone else has a certain hair type doesn’t make them better than you. Your hair fits you. It’s beautiful on you. There’s nothing wrong with your hair. Look at your mommy for example,”

Annalise took in FRIDAY’s words and nodded her head,

“Thank you for talking to me FRIDAY. I would have talked to papa but I feel like he’d be mad at me,” she got a blanket and curled up on the couch.

“He could never be mad at you,”

“Can you read me a story, please?,” she wrapped the blanket around self ad pulled a pillow under her little head.

“I sure can,” FRIDAY replied lightly

Annalise went to sleep that night hearing a beautiful story about a young black girl who fell in love with her hair. She knows this story, her mama has read it to her before.

-----------------

Bucky woke up the next morning and his arms were empty, Annalise rarely ever wakes up before him and when she does she stays cuddled up to him until he wakes up.

“Honeybee?,” he called out, but got no response back.

“He checked the bathroom and found nothing there. He ran down the hallway calling out for his honeybee but she was nowhere to be found.

“Annalise?!,” He ran into the kitchen, No one was there and he started to freak out. He checked the playroom, it was left the same as yesterday, all tidy and empty.

“Fuck,” he swore to himself. He ran into the living room and his heart almost burst out of his chest. He found her lying there sound asleep with her stuffed bee.

“Oh my God,” he cried.

He picked her up as she stirred awake and held her tight.

“You scared the hell out of me, Anna,” He kissed her face repeatedly and wiped his tears, “What are you doing out here?,”

“I dunno, I think I sleepwalked,” she muttered into his neck as she hugged him back.

“Anna, you don’t sleep walk,”

“I got thirsty. When I got my water I didn't wanna wake you up so I stayed out here,” she said.

“You don’t have to be afraid to wake me up, honeybee. As long as I know where you are so you don’t give me another heart attack,”

“I’m sorry, papa,”

“It’s okay. Mama comes back today.” he rocked his daughter back and forth.

“Good. She’s been gone for a long time,” Annalise yawned

It’s really only been like four days, but any time without her mother is a long time to her.

“Let’s get you ready for the day and then I’ll make you breakfast, yeah?,” he softly patted her bum and walked with her to the bathroom. He brushed her teeth and gently washed her face with a clean, warm rag. He got her dressed a cute set of yellow overalls with a black long sleeve turtleneck underneath. He called her back in the bathroom and took her bonnet off. He lightly oiled her scalp and decided to leave the twists in for another day before taking them out that way her curls would be more defined. But he did a half up, half down look on her that way the front wouldn’t be in her face.

She smiled at him and went into the kitchen, sitting in her favorite spot, her mama’s spot when she’s not here.

“Want an omelet?,” He walked into the kitchen and got pans ready.

“Yes please. With the egg stuff mommy uses, and the vegan butter.” she smiled sweetly at him and he smiled right back. He adored that little girl, his little family was the best thing to happen to him. He was blessed, he woke up everyday thanking the highest Heavens for you two.

“Anything in it?,”

“Mushrooms, green peppers, spinach, no onions, I’m allergic,”

“I’m your papa, I know what you’re allergic to, honeybee,”

“And mama’s dairy-free cheese,” she fiddled with her stuffed bee.

“Can hardly call it cheese if it’s dairy-free,” he mumbled to himself and shook his head.

“I heard thaaaat,” Anna sang, “Mama said I can make the decision to not eat animal products like her if I want. When I found out that chicken nuggets are actual chickens I didn’t want to anymore. They’re too cute. My doctor said I’m still healthy without all of it,”

Bucky just smiled as he oiled the pan with your vegan butter and poured the egg substitute into the pans with the stove heat on low.

“Juice or your oat milk?,” Bucky pulled his hair up easily in a bun and Anna was watching him.

“Oat milk, please,” even with what FRIDAY said to her last night, she was still a little sad that she can’t easily wear a style like that in her hair.

She sat quietly as she waited for her breakfast to be cooked. Bucky cooked himself a hearty breakfast in the process.

He handed Anna her favorite cup with her oat milk and her plate with apple slices, her little omelet and a little bowl of apple cinnamon oatmeal. He sat down with his own plate of bacon, an omelet with real eggs and cheese, tomatoes and green peppers with a side of toast and a cup of black coffee.

Annalise ate carefully and quietly.

“What do you wanna do when mama comes home?,” He took a bite of his toast.

“Maybe the park?, then we can go roller skating. We haven’t gone in a while. Me and mama think it’s funny that you’re a superhero but can’t skate to save your life,”

Bucky choked laughing at her insult.

“Mama is a superhero and can’t cartwheel correctly!,” he defended

“Cheap blow, Barnes!,” You showed up in the entrance, “I can cartwheel just fine,”

“Hardly,”

“MAMA!!!,” Annalise ran to you and you lifted her up in the air kissing all over her face.

“How’s my honeybee?,”

“I’m well. I missed you so much. Papa made me a good breakfast, come eat with us!,”

“I already ate but I’ll still sit with you guys,”

You walked over to Bucky and gave him a long, much needed kiss, Annalise gagging in your arms.

You sat down in her seat and she continued eating in your lap while you talked to your husband.

“How was the assignment?,” Bucky asked as he cut a piece of his omelet, shoveling it into his mouth.

“Boring. Less fighting than I thought, my shadow traveling has gotten better so no close calls or anything. I could have been home last night but I forgot a piece of data so I had to hurry and retrieve it and delete the software before they realized we got em,” you took a sip of Anna’s oat milk and played with her hair.

“Your hair is cute, baby. Who did it? Pop pop?,”

Anna laughed and shook her head, “Pop pop can’t even put my hair into my puffballs, papa did this,” she shook her head and you watched them swing back and forth.

“Good job, babe,”

“I should have been a hair dresser,” Bucky boasts

“I wouldn’t go that far,” Anna beat you to it.

“Your papa texted me yesterday saying you were upset. Have you talked it out yet?,” You asked her, massaging her scalp.

Annalise visibly tensed, “Don’t want to talk about it right now, mama,”

Now you didn’t know what do. She never shut you guys out like this. Bucky sighed and dusted off his hands as he sat back in his chair.

“Why not?,” He asked

“Because I don’t want to,” she shrugged, “I already talked it out, it’s fine,”

You and Bucky both furrowed your brows.

“Talked it out with who? and I don’t think it’s fine because when I brought it up you immediately tensed up. We’re your parents, baby. Don’t be afraid to come to us,” you rubbed her back but she just kept eating.

“With FRIDAY. When papa went to sleep I came out in the living room to talk to her, I ended up falling asleep on the couch and it is fine, mama,”

“You told me you got thirsty and didn’t want to wake me up when you came back,” Bucky leaned on the table and eyed your daughter suspiciously.

“Well I did. I can do both,”

“Annalise Lillian Stark-Barnes now is not the time to sass me,” Bucky gave her a stern look.

“He’s right Anna, if something is bothering you, you don’t lie. You come to us. Don’t keep it to yourself,”

“Well it’s a me problem so I’ll work it out on my own,”

“But you don't have to, Annalise. Listen to me,”

You turned her around in your lap and held her small face in your hands.

“There is nothing that we can’t help you through, do you hear me? Your feelings are valid. Talk to us,”

With Bucky sitting beside you, you both saw her eyes well up with tears.

“FRIDAY said papa is really my papa and pop pop is really my pop pop,” she said looking down.

You and Bucky looked at each other completely lost.

“Of course we are, baby. Is that bad?,” Bucky was scared to hear her answer. Kids were unapologetically blunt.

“I was playing with your hair yesterday. You said I could put your hair in puffballs like mine but you lied to me. I couldn’t get your hair to puff up like mine. I tried to see who else’s hair I could get to do it but everyone had hair like yours so I figured your hair was better. When you did my hair last night I said I wished it was thin like yours. I asked FRIDAY if I’m really yours and if mama is really pop pop’s then how come we don’t have pretty hair like yours,” she sobbed and didn’t look either of you in the eyes.

Your eyes welled at your daughter’s words. You didn’t expect her to have self image problems this early on and you didn’t know what to do. You struggled with this mindset before, but not this young.

Bucky took her from your lap and placed her in his.

“Annalise... Look at me, please,”

With red eyes she did as he said.

“Your hair is absolutely beautiful okay?,” he held her hands.

“Your hair is your crown and no one has the same crown because we all wear it differently. You don’t need hair like mine for it to be considered pretty. You already have my smile, my laugh, my attitude and my inhuman strength. Your hair is yours. Your beauty is yours and no one can take that from you,”

“But you don’t have tangles and kinks like I do,”

“You without your hair kinks and tangles is like a leopard without spots.” he rebuttals.

She just stared at him with her lip quivering

“All hair is pretty hair. All hair is good hair. You don’t have to have mine for it to be considered good, honeybee,”

She nodded her head but you weren’t quite sure she understood.

“What your Honeybee Scouts slogan?,” Bucky asks her.

“Remove the kinks from your mind-”

“- Not your hair,” He finishes with her.

You watched this moment. It was good that it wasn't just you instilling these values in her, you took comfort in knowing her father, though who looked different than her, took her self-image problems seriously and didn’t just leave them for you to handle. She had both of you.

“Your hair isn’t strictly who you are, baby. It’s a part of you and it’s one of the many puzzle pieces that help make the bigger, beautiful picture. You,” you booped her nose and smiled at her. She seemed to understand after you guys’ thoughtful words and she wiped her tears.

“I didn’t want you guys to be mad at me for feeling like that,” she admitted.

“Sweetheart,” you took her chin in between your thumb and index finger, “We could never be mad at you for having your own feelings. Like we said, your feelings are valid and you don’t have to hide them from us. We’re your parents for a reason,”

“Uncle Sammy and pop pop said it’s because you guys had coitus like rabbits. Pop pop said papa just had to come to you for a ‘horizontal refreshment’, I’m not sure what that means but they said it,”

You and Bucky’s eyes pop out of your heads at the words that come out of your daughter’s mouth. You were gonna have a few words for those two.

“Anyway,” Bucky coughs, “When we found out we were having you, we knew we would do our best to have a healthy, secure relationship with you. We want you to pull back, take time for yourself then come to us so we can have these talks. So you don’t grow up questioning yourself or your feelings. You understand?,”

She nodded and squeezed his hands, “I understand,”

You and Bucky both kissed both of her cheeks and you guys sat there in a group hug for a few minutes before the rest family comes in and sees you and you hear a chorus of “Y/N!” and “Awh!,”

You look for the two men of the hour and eye them.

“I will have a talk with you two later about the terms you use around my sweet cherub,”

Sam made a ‘yikes’ face and Tony just rolled his eyes. Nothing he ever says around his granddaughter is correct enough.

“But for now,” you turned to your daughter and smiled at her, “Let’s get you straightened up and me cleaned up and we can go skating to laugh at papa, how’s that sound?,”

Bucky threw his head back and laughed at your comment.

Annalise shook in excitement and smiled wide.

“Yes!!,” she clapped, “Sorry papa but watching you bust your butt is funny,”

“It’s okay because after that we’re gonna go to the park and have a cartwheel competition with mama,”

“Oouuu,” your daughter teased.

“You’re supposed to be on my side, Anna!!!”

Bucky scooped her up and ran away, “Hardly!,” he called over his shoulder.

You shook your head at this family of yours.

Not perfect, but close enough.

*The End*

-------------------

Thinking about making a papa Bucky series. Let me know what you think!

Please leave comments, reblog and like. Y’all’s feedback is greatly appreciated. <3

Up next is Nat! Once this gets to at least 100 notes, I’ll upload it!

Tags- @sideeffectsofyou @chonisberonica

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pixie-mask · 5 years

Text

So I was planning to make this post to just gush over how much I’ve fallen in love with Milo Murphy’s Law, but then I remembered that I’m not that good at writing coherent thoughts, so I apologize for this rambling mess if anyone reads this.

The Show Itself

So, yeah Milo Murphy’s Law. I remember hearing about this show last year and of course saw that amazing peach clip, but other than that I didn’t look much into it and just let it be.

However on the one time youtube actually gave me a good recommendation and I ended up in a loop of MML clips. (namely clips of Dakota >.>)

In the end I’m so happy to have finally given the show a proper try because it is amazing. The animation is really nice and at various moments there’s these really amazing bits of really fluid animation for certain movements.

Also I tend to be kinda meh to iffy about shows where there’s songs involved especially continuous shows but the songs in MML are so enjoyable. They’re either catchy, funny or both and actually an enjoyable treats to listen to.

However all of this is even more enjoyable due how fantastic and the setting and characters are.

I mean I’ve seen characters or similar things where a character/the protagonist has some sort of “affliction” that causes trouble for them routinely and the show typically focuses on the characters ups and downs, struggles to make friends, their hardship of being accepted and other things. So it was so nice to come into a show where Milo is just a walking chaos magnet but he’s already has friends, is well liked and no one is ostracizing him from the community or from activities. It’s like so nice to see a story where all of that is avoided to focus on what adventures and mishaps the characters can get in and out off.

At the same time it’s nice to see that Murphy’s Law is understood with a healthy dose of realism (as far as cartoon can get) in this show. Milo understands Murphy’s Law can be a problem and doesn’t get offended when people want to be cautious around him and others aren’t all that jumpy around him. I mean they glance around their environment every now and then but they aren’t constantly panicking 24/7.

I also love that that there is a generation of Murphy’s. Like despite the curse like nature of Murphy’s Law the Murphy men have been able to find wives that dearly love them and carry on a family. I constantly think about it whenever I see Brigette and Martin or Milo and Amanda interact.

Speaking of interacting I love these characters. All of them are really enjoyable. Even characters that aren’t really set to be all that pleasant; Mr. Block, Elliot, Savannah, Brick, Bradley; I find to be really enjoyable. I like that Melissa is allowed to be this tough girl without the show trying to go frequently out of its way to mention how she isn’t girly, but then she’s also got fears that aren’t mocked and is a nerd who works on making sure her grades are always good and is just so sure of herself. I like how Zack is this ex-boy band member whose allowed to be on the cowardly side and more sensitive without being criticized and is willing to try to turn situations around and grow through his experiences with Milo.

The rest of the cast is golden as well. It’s been a while since I’ve seen a show where the school faculty was actually really fun to see and not overly stupid, neglectful or constantly angry. It’s nice to see that the school staff has actual personalities and are capable of getting along with their students. The other students are pretty fun to and really help round out the characters. Also the Murphy family is just so sweet. I love that Sara can be so geeky without being mocked, that both parents are successful but also very caring and supportive off their children and that they don’t let Murphy’s Law hinder them in being around one another. I’m not going to go into too much about them (running out of energy) but I have to give alot of props to Amanda’s character. While she’s set up to the be this tightly wound perfectionist its nice to see that she’s able to be silly and have fun and I was so thrilled that they didn’t try to make a long standing story thread about her being a perfectionist and Milo being being basically an embodiment of chaos get in the way of their relationship developing.

Even the more minor characters really fun. I genuinely enjoy Trucker Ted’s whole gag and get a little excited whenever I see a truck on the show. Seriously I regret getting into the show so late, but I’m glad I finally did.

My Favorite Characters

Since I’m running out of energy I’m just going to list my favs and bullet point why I like them.

Vinnie Dakota

His build/design

He’s so short, like what only a foot or so taller than Milo and co

He’s adorably chubby and yet light enough Cavendish (or Cav is just really strong) can easily lift him up or hold him

The fact that he’s just had the hair for his entire life just in varying sizes

And thanks to Cavendish we also know he’s got a decently squishy face apparently.

His Personality

Like he’s played mostly like a typical laid back guy but he’s surprisingly grounded. I seriously did not expect for him to point out Cavendish’s flaws and make some solid arguments given their season 2 predicament. Like how Cavendish needs to stop gunning for trying to save the world and how they can’t risk their jobs because they can’t time travel and fix things like they used to and they have to pay for rent

He’s also genuinely nice. I seriously love how him being nice made his disguise work for him during the second Pistachion take over and how that never came back to blow his cover.

Also despite how things are going he does try to make the best of things.

Give this man his action moment.

I’m serious about that previous statement btw. He made a one liner, slid over the roof of a car, did a dramatic dive and tried to ram an airboat through a steel grate. Just give him his successful moment

He’s clearly being set up to be one of the more action oriented characters and overall he’s pretty good at it

Extra things

The fact that he’s a near bottomless pit when it comes to food

He was utterly adorable as a child

He loves animals and the zoo

And speaking of which I think it’s a shame that we haven’t seen Dakota eating animal crackers in this show

He’s an absolute angel of a best friend

Milo Murphy

His personality

I love that Milo is a sweetheart who understands peoples caution around him at time, but I love that it doesn’t stop with him being nice until he hits the usual dramatic breaking point

It’s nice to see that he can have a healthy level of sarcasm or frustration with both other’s and Murphy’s Law itself

It’s to see a character like this with a nice but also rounded personality instead of the whole nice until a breaking point or nice with no concept on how to be mean and when someone is being mean to them.

Murphy’s Law

Yeah Milo’s past and current events are hilarious. You can never tell how things out of control and as such it brings some fun when we get to see how they resolve themselves or what Milo will use to fix the problem.

Diogee

I don’t have much to say about Diogee.

He’s one of the (or the given my memory) cutest designed dogs that I have ever seen

I thought I would get sick of the “go home” gimmick but I ended up liking it

And his episodes are surprisingly fun

And yeah. Like I said I’m love this show but lack of coherent thoughts and running out of steam has made it difficult for me to continue writing more for this post.

#Milo Murphy's Law #and my poor writing and gushing

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noonmutter · 5 years

Text

Adventures in D&D part 6

- Party just woke up for the day and is headed out to the temple of Gond because they helped get a special material component for a new kind of weapon, and they want to witness the testing

- Right when they get there a dude in a cloak on horseback t-bones the paladin and party cleric says “HE’S GOT BLUEPRINTS”

- Paladin goes tearing off after him because paladin is a paladin of Gond and boy is she pissed off

- I go “can I cast Hold Person” because range is a thing and I genuinely don’t know how far away dude is yet

- DM says “...yes” after grumbling that he hasn’t statted anything out for the NPC

- Turns out this was supposed to be largely cinematic and my crowd-controlling ass just totally screwed that over but in my defense I asked and the DM said yes so really him bothering to roll a wisdom stat for the NPC and getting a 3 is his fault not mine

- Naturally the NPC fails the save and falls off the horse the instant it changes direction

- Commence the befuckening once party caught up with him, initiatives are rolled

- DM laughs triumphantly and says “He nat 20′d! He’s up!”

- Two more party members have their turns

- Mine’s up

- “I cast hold person again”

- “...you asshole”

- Fight ends very shortly after that because the party isn’t willing to totally murder the dude while he’s paralyzed

- They start interrogating him on the street

- He breaks the hold person again but whoop-de-doo he’s surrounded and on the ground

- Eventually starts messing about with a poison tooth

- Other party members go to stop him

- I go “Hey DM?”

- “...yes?”

- “I cast Hold Person again.”

- Long silence

- DM’s mic is open and we all hear thumping, I assume either his head or his hand beating his desk, and he eventually posts a screenshot of the NPC’s roll

- Even at advantage, he rolled a 1 both times

(I’m pretty sure this was the moment where I could officially call myself a Real Bard)

- “I fucking hate you”

- “YOU COULD’VE SAID NO AT ANY TIME”

- Anyway brosef is a prisoner of the Temple of Gond now and the DM is grumbling that as “punishment” we don’t get to see a really cool thing happen when the dude made his escape, to which I keep reminding him he allowed me to fuck up his plan and he can’t be mad at us for it

- Cleric casts zone of truth on the prisoner. It manages to affect two party members--Dumat included--and nobody else. Dumat knows this and sits down to hold his mouth shut and sulk

- Cleric then leaves the temple because he’s pretty sure the party’s going to torture the prisoner and he can’t participate or witness it but he doesn’t see an alternative

- By the way it’s important to mention that Dumat got ahold of Yeehaw’s Rootie Tootie Point n’ Shooty a while ago, which is a crossbow with a special ability that functionally allows him to shotgun a cone with it, but also is cursed and causes the user to grow a mullet, speak in a southern drawl, and not be able to put the crossbow down

- This was a funny gimmick for about 20 minutes before Sage Got Bored and started adding rules (after running them by the DM first)--like having to roll wisdom saves to not engage in “Hold My Beer” moments

- He has several saves to make before and during the interrogation of their prisoner

- He succeeds beautifully at all of them which is frustrating the shit out of me and the DM

- When he finally starts failing them, it’s a fuckin’ cascade of failures that result in things like shooting the restrained prisoner in the foot and then twisting the crossbow bolt around while saying shit like “Right about now I’d be tellin’ ya ta dance, but, well, that ain’t gonna work out so hot is it?” and responding to ‘I don’t fear death’ with “Well then we’ll just have to make sure y’don’t die now, won’t we?,” shooting at the Paladin--and later the cleric--when they say they should get that crossbow away from him, and shooting at the cleric because he’s being boring while reading from a holy book

- Eventually, during the torture parts, the cleric and paladin realize at about the same time that Dumat is not actually insane (the paladin remembered at the last minute that Zone of Truth was on Dumat and he wasn’t lying about the shit he was saying to this poor bastard, the cleric was just super upset by all the screaming) but is in fact possessed

- While the Paladin and Cleric are figuring out how to fix this, I go to the DM and say: “I demand that one of them be forced to a showdown in order to break the curse properly, in the "high noon" sense, Ready? DRAW! That”

- DM is On Fucking Board for this, party starts doing exorcism mumbo-jumbo, eventually Dumat’s bound body drops the crossbow and a smoky hand crawls out of it, eventually forming into the ghostly shape of a motherfucking cowboy followed by ethereal whistling of the intro notes for The Good, The Bad, And the Ugly theme

- I exclaim in voice chat OH MY GOD I HAVE ART FOR THIS and go digging through my old drawings, then produce:

- Voiced by me doing my best Frank Welker impression in a cowboy drawl, Original Character Do Not Steal (seriously though Buck is mine and I drew this in 2005, as the signature says)

- First time I open my mouth another party member goes “holy shit” and I feel warm inside

- The party actually tries to convince him to work for them and offers to let him take the body of the prisoner instead and offers him gold and stuff, to which he responds kinda like Izzy from The Mummy: 2, all “d’you think I can walk into a store and buy shit?”

- A conversation between the cleric (who insults his hat and has talking privileges revoked), paladin, and the demon who introduces himself as Buck eventually comes down to him proposing a duel for ownership of Dumat’s body, and the party rogue--who’s only been with the party for like two ingame days at this point--cheerfully agrees to be their shooter

- Back-to-back, ten paces, turn, fire (contested attack rolls)

- Duel ends like this:

"As Conny turns and fires, so does Buck. Time stands still--literally--as the twang of two crossbows fills the hall. For a moment, there's a faint ethereal sheen over Buck's crossbow, some kind of metallic cylinder. And the twang is not a twang, but a CRACK. Buck stands tall, longcoat whipping gently in a nonexistent breeze... as Conny feels a bolt enter her shoulder."

- Victorious, Buck turns to take Dumat and Shit Goes Down as the cleric steps in and casts spiritual guardians and good fucking christ this party is lucky they had two holy types who could do radiant damage because he takes a beating before he goes down

- Last thing he says before he dissipates into the ether is directed to the rogue (Conny), the paladin, and the wizard (the firebug): “See you in hell, little girls--wear somethin’ nasty”

- Crossbow drops to the ground and turns black like it’s been set on fire and allowed to cool, is promptly picked up by some acolytes with pole-hooks and put into a heavy box that the paladin is keeping close by

- I drink more fluids than you can possibly imagine for roughly an hour and a half and DMed a whole scenario because I thought it’d be cool

- I accidentally a Recurring Villain

- yay but what have i done

#dnd #dumat

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videobun-gameblog · 5 years

Text

Rambling about Sekiro (spoilers below read me):

- Evolution of "i'm scared to block, i like Souls rolling" to "okay i'll block and sort of deflect but only basic attacks i know" to "okay I don't even need to dash except for perilous attacks!" to "okay now i can actually flip between defense and offense on the fly and this is SUPER fun!!"

- Basically, I've never in my life played a game where offense and defense mesh so well together, where blocking is FUN and viable, and seeing your attacks get deflected is actually GOOD and not just infuriating, because you're making progress in the fight.

- People've said Dark Souls is a little like a hard, combat focused Zelda but really, THIS is what that's like, and I'm in love. From did it.

- The upgrade system is neat and I appreciate it for rewarding exploration but also allowing you to challenge yourself by refusing to use them. Also it just works out really well for speedrun balancing and I can’t wait to see the evolution of speedruns in this game because there’s a good balance between wanting more power, posture, and HP and wanting to go as fast as possible.

SPOILERS UNDER CUT, DON’T DO IT UNLESS YOU ARE ALREADY AT /END/ GAME OR DO NOT EVER INTEND TO BUY SEKIRO

---!!!SPOILER ZONE (I'm serious do not read if you intend to play or are still playing)!!!---

(long space for people who might see this on the blog first as opposed to via the dashboard)

- I absolutely adore the weird scientific/medicinal/supernatural macabre shit in this game. The red lump item gave me chills picking it up the first time. Same thing with seeing the first undying monk thing, I couldn't even burn it (but then I finally did it with THAT ITEM... more below)

- haha hand in a jar! haha that guy that flies at you... haha, monkey :) haha ninja dog...... hell even the headless... I love From's mix of disturbing humor (or just flat out being funny despite the bleak setting). Their version of mimics in Souls sum this up best but there's plenty of things here too that are just flat out hilarious and I love it.

- Oh Christ, speaking of, I did the Doctor questline and oh god it gave me some of that Bloodborne dread.

- "IS THAT A FUCKING DARK SOULS?" also lmao when he falls

- "IS THAT THE FUCKING CHAOS BLADE!??" oooh fuck oh fuck *pushes up glasses* remember the cut content with Shiva in Dark Souls???

- Sekiro/Wolf having the "defy your father, break the code" moment was SO good and I love that whole archetype. Simple but I just... <3 Oh god and When Owl is basically just like "that's my boy" when you kill him... I... u_u

- giving Lord Kuro rice was SO cute and just furthered my love for Wolf because this child is teaching him part of how to be himself and to also enjoy things (basically chill the fuck out you freaking murder machine, you are more than that) through compassion, friendship, and a reminder of his own childhood and I don't really get emotional over stuff like this often but awww..! ;_;

- The sake dialogue moments are so good. A very simple concept but I love the nature of sharing part of one's past through a friendly offering, it felt like a really good balance between clear concise mechanics (sake) fitting neatly with narrative elements. It's basically just a dialogue item but it didn't FEEL that way. I felt genuine excitement upon finding new drinks knowing I'd get a chance to share it.

- OH MY GOD ENFEEBLED IS SUCH A GOOD ASS STATUS EFFECT??? THE ANIMATIONS!!! He just hobbles around like a dude who just suddenly became an old man (’cuz that’s literally what it is) with his sword as a cane??? I LOVE FROMSOFT! That shit is so wonderfully expressive but also fits perfectly with that style of horror humor (and I lied before. Mimics are beaten by THIS status effect. New number one spot for my fave moment like this in a From game)

- Oh also speaking of animation, those fucking boss kills!!! *deep inhale* BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- While not my favorite boss mechanically, SPECIFICALLY that kill animation on the Giant Ape... DUDE HOLY FUUUCK! and then the fake out!?!?!? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! SO good!

- Lady Butterfly was a fun main boss and O'Rin of the Water was a fun mini boss. Plenty of others were fantastic but those stood out. Like, two of my friends so far have expressed the same feelings on Butterfly! Good Fight!

- I even liked the gimmick fights! They did it! Gimmick fights that are actually well designed! They're more about exploring mechanics outside of pure combat without punishing you super fucking hard at a random point just because they can. (Bed of Chaos, Micolash) Strangely a little bit of a breather, which is fitting because it’s a perfect counter balance to the stress of finding yourself in a unique situation. They actually give you time to analyze, think, and breathe it all in!

- I'm currently stuck on an end game "secret"/optional boss with some classic From Lore Implications *ok hand* and it's brutal af. I am excited to learn how to master this.

--- SLIGHT CRITICISM (basically the “i love it so much i can’t help but see small flaws but I’d still give it a 10/10 anyway” part) ---

- I like that even when they repeat mid bosses they usually put them in a new arena to change things up. I think a FEW were a little overdone though and could have benefited from maybe... I dunno, a couple new ones in their place or at LEAST alternate movesets to change things up a bit more than just location BUT the combat is engaging enough that I don't mind, I just found it a LITTLE weird how despite the rest of the polish there was a tad bit of copy-paste (but far FAR less egregious than DS1)

- Idk how replayable this game is gonna be but I can definitely see myself finishing NG+ and doing two more playthroughs for all endings. It's replayable more in the Metroid or Legend of Zelda sense and less in the Dark Souls character build sense. "I wanna try a new route first and beat bosses more effectively this time. I wanna be as stealthy as possible this run" etc. and not "I wanna make an int build" (less a critique and more an observation on how it differs from Souls replayability)

- Dragonrot is like, the only actual flaw in this game imo. It doesn't have enough depth. I was thinking it would have more end game narrative significance but it's just something tied to the sort of useless unseen aid mechanic which fails to really incentivize risky play. If anything it just encourages you to grind before bosses to cap the current exp bar and save/store/spend sen by spending 10 minutes fucking around elsewhere until you're ready so that you have nothing to lose. I feel like it should have done some world state changes and something more intense, like ACTUALLY having npcs die and having a healthier world state and an unhealthier world state where some enemies get weaker or stronger based on which extreme your world is on etc. etc. basically ANYTHING more than it is now. But this is super minor relative to how good everything else is. It just felt underwhelming considering all it was hyped up to be. It’s one of those things I just ignore as if it wasn’t there and it’s just as good because it has little effect on the parts that I DO like the game for.

---FINAL NOTE---

- To end on a positive note though, Sekiro managed to be a game that iterated on the Souls formula by defying part of what it became (dodge heavy, block averse play, slow, parrying primarily for one-shotting) yet still providing the same feelings of starting one of those games fresh. Part of what makes it FEEL Souls-y is precisely what separates it from those games, and it's all too good to really put into words at the moment. Like sure it's got Estus, bonfires, and a kick-your-ass "you're going to get stuck and frustrated and that's how it is" attitude and it's got a similar enough control scheme, but beyond that, there's just so much more combat and movement depth that it's a whole new beast, and I love it so much.

#Sekiro #spoilers

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crystalkleure · 6 years

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Have you done a Burst character review of Silas Karlisle? To be honest, I think he’s pretty funny.

SISCO!!

Sisco is, without a shadow of a doubt, one of my absolute favourites. I’m so proud of him. I love this good fashion disaster boy, I can’t believe I initially thought I wouldn’t like him! [He looks like Kyouya from MFB and Kyouya used to get on my nerves thanks to the english dub {I got over it} .-.] I have a lot of thoughts about Sisco, and some of those thoughts are really speculative because they’re based on actions more than things that were outright stated. [Sisco is yet another guy who doesn’t prefer to actually talk about his feelings. Ick, friendship cooties.]

Sisco was definitely kind of a jackass at first; but I’m not sure that he was intentionally causing damage, so much as he was just totally careless with his own strength? Like, he had too much energy to expend and ended up breaking shit whenever he let it out. He wasn’t DELIBERATELY destructive, he was just too strong and too wild and he wasn’t careful enough. Didn’t give a fuck. But he wasn’t trying to crack Valkyrie. He didn’t mean to destroy Ghasem’s old brittle bey [that he quite frankly probably shouldn’t have been battling with anyway…that Kerbeus was in TERRIBLE condition]. Sisco just didn’t have a great amount of control over himself, it seems – he was always itching to let loose at something [or someone…]

And I think all of that pent-up energy came from anger. Like, he blew up all the time due to some kind of frustration eating away at him. He was always sort of agitated by default, but he seemed like he got the MOST agitated when he was not acknowledged. Check how he got so pissed at Trad and Chris when they kept brushing him off at first. So I think maybe he was crying for attention [I mean also just look at his outfit lmao].

Like, Sisco was alone when he first showed up. No friends with him at all, he was just wandering around wreaking havoc. And while he was being rude and belittling to every opponent he challenged, he was also…putting on airs, as though he was trying to impress them? I mean, he called himself “the great Sisco” at one point, iirc. So, it was sort of like “Yeah, I totally don’t need you weak scrubs to think I’m cool [but please think I’m cool ;-;]” He was a total flashy show-off, but he was also trying his best to not look vulnerable. And furthermore, Sisco didn’t…exactly take rejection, or even perceived rejection, very well.

When he felt like BC Sol didn’t appreciate him enough, he stormed out of there and went looking for another team. And he found TONS of teams that would’ve been more than happy to take him, but he could tell that they were mediocre and weak and they were just desperate to have his strength on their side. They only cared about his strength, and I think he realized he actually didn’t really want that. He looked…thoughtfully distressed by it? Because he had been trying so hard to appear tough and strong, and that sort of persona certainly got him some attention, but it didn’t get him the kind of attention he wanted. Sisco wanted people who cared about him, not his power alone, whether or not he realized that distinction at first.

I think Sisco was lonely. That’s what was wrong with him, that’s why he was so frustrated.

And now he is FIERCELY loyal to BC Sol because they proved that they actually valued him, and that is what he wanted. He has friends that are tying him there. He realized Valt and Boss and all the others actually really cared about him and now he’d pretty much die for any one of them. He finally found somewhere he “belongs”. I’m so happy.

However, going back to early s2 for a minute here: Sisco seemed like he WANTED to get into fistfights [what with how he was always cracking his knuckles at first, especially], but he never actually initiated them, did he? He just agitated other people until THEY got riled up at HIM. I think he wanted THEM to start the actual fight, so he’d have a clean conscience for brawling with them – it’d be self-defense then. Like, even with Ghasem, Sisco didn’t throw the first punch. He didn’t even get into a proper “fistfight” stance until after Ghasem attacked him first. Also Sisco jumping in between Ghasem and Valt kind of says he was more than willing to get into a scuffle. He just wanted himself to have a good reason for it for Conscience Reasons, like protecting himself or someone else. He wanted the other guy to hit him first. Even then, though…Ghasem kicked the fuck out of Sisco, but even then, Sisco STILL didn’t actually start trading blows with the guy. He had the perfect opportunity to actually throw down with Ghasem, but he hesitated until someone broke it up before it got a chance to start. So THAT says that Sisco didn’t really want to hurt anybody, he just wanted to take out his anger in some way. He wanted to go aggro and fight, but he didn’t want the consequences. He was conflicted. [So, put him in the gym and let him maul the punching bag or something ._. No post-frenzy guilt, viola.]

Also, Sisco stopped obsessively cracking his knuckles after awhile, did anybody else notice that? Like, the annoying cracking sound was a major gimmick, Sisco did it in nearly every scene he was in at first, but the more he settled down, the less he did that. And he was only doing it as a showy way of saying “I’m ready to throw hands at any time, bitch”. So I guess as he became less willing to start a fight, he didn’t have any reason to try to intimidate people like that anymore. Nice detail.

Oh, and this is totally off topic now, and I don’t remember the exact context [if I ever knew it to begin with, the ep {which I also don’t remember} may not have been subbed at the time], but Sisco fist-pumped and shouted his own name near the conclusion of a battle [so he probably said something like “And the winner is Sisco Carlisle!!”?], and he shouted it the EXACT same overdramatic, earsplitting way the announcer always does. He LIKES the ridiculous way the damn announcer screams his name. That’s so cute.

999/10. Sisco is a fake tough guy. He’s actually an Incredibly Good Boy. [I would’ve given him 1,000/10 except that his tattoo is dumb and sooner or later he is SO going to regret getting that ink.] And I think it’s funny as hell when he still tries to keep up his macho appearance out of habit even after it’s obvious he’s actually a giant softie, too. He gets so embarrassed when the facade doesn’t work.

#[Me posting this on Sisco's birthday was not a total coincidence]#Sisco changed so much over the course of the season. I'M SO PROUD OF HIM. HE GOT BETTER.#Beyblade Burst #Beyblade Burst God #Sisco Karlisle #Sisco Carlisle #CK replies #CK dissects #Also if this sounds...less concrete-certain in some places than usual it's because a lot of Sisco Development happened in early s2 #And it's been a LONG time since I watched early s2 #So I'm hoping my memory isn't fuzzy and the details are actually the way I remember them being #There are some early eps I haven't even rewatched since they've been subbed x_x

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alexanderwrites · 7 years

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“I have a sense of humour, I laugh at Tony Danza”: A retrospective of King of the Hill’s early years, 20 years on

The first scene in the first episode of King of the Hill sees 4 guys standing around outside, drinking beer, and talking about last night’s Seinfeld. The scene ends with the line “I tell you what man, them dang old New York boys. Just a show about nothing”. Right from the opening moments, we’re hit with a great self-awareness and a very 1990′s kind of irony, because King of the Hill, like Seinfeld, was a show about nothing.

Maybe I should clarify. I don’t think Seinfeld really was a show about nothing (it’s a common misconception that the show ever sold itself as that. It never did - it was actually just the label George applied to his sitcom idea) but instead, a show that seemingly made something from nothing. Both KotH and Seinfeld were oddities of their time, neither of them housing notable gimmicks or concepts to base their episodes around. Instead, there was a looseness to both of their styles, and to the way in which they approached their subjects, a freedom to be their own thing which set them miles apart from their contemporaries.

When KotH came around in 1997, the other animated show to which it could most easily be compared to (on the surface, at least) was in actuality the furthest thing from it - unlike other animated family sitcoms, almost nobody has ever accused of KotH of ripping off The Simpsons. The shows were never rivals, due in part to KotH and The Simpsons being on the same network (KotH followed The Simpsons on Sunday evenings), but also because there weren’t many easy ways to compare them. Sure they were both animated shows about middle American families, but KotH had such a distinctive voice of its own that it’s possible to love both it and The Simpsons without making them battle it out for supremacy. In fact, their difference allows them to complement each other fairly nicely, and there are a lot of episodes of both shows that would pair well with each other.

While South Park, which also came out in 1997, had an attention grabbing coarseness which allured both College kids and younger kids looking for something to watch when their parents went to bed, and The Simpsons was, well, the biggest show on earth, KotH had to carve out a niche of its own, but a niche big and stable enough for it to survive. It was a little show that had an impossibly enormous task to take on: to follow The Simpsons. And not just The Simpsons, but 1997 The Simpsons. Height of it’s popularity, biggest show of all time, The Simpsons. And remarkably, whilst also being one of the slowest and most idiosyncratic shows on Fox, KotH managed to do so.

It was beneficial to the show that Creator Mike Judge had a solid history, creating the equally as unlikely cult hit Beavis and Butthead for MTV which, on looking back, shares a great deal in common with KotH. Both are shows that are distinctively recognisable and very much products of their time, and both function primarily as cult oddities that somehow crossed over into the general consciousness. Looking back on them today, it’s hard to believe they were as massive as they were; it’s both heartening that they did so well, but disheartening to think that they might struggle if they came along now. While KotH has a devoted fanbase, and, yes, a strong presence in memes (Mike Judge’s classic Office Space, which is as close as you can get to live action KotH, similarly has been immortalised in memes) and youtube edits, these are primarily perpetuated from built-in fans who grew up on the show. But, maybe in the age of Netflix, we can hope that new generations will keep discovering it (the catch-22 of streaming services is that while they might reignite interest in animations like KotH, they force us to remember that animations such as Drawn Together existed. Shudder). It’s not that common to hear much mention of KotH outside those who dearly love it, which has as much to do with its unassuming style as it has to do with the fact that it’s the shortest lived of the Big Animated shows. The show went out on top after a damn impressive and consistent 13 seasons, at which point, despite solid ratings, it was cancelled to make room for the short-lived and poorly received The Cleveland Show. If you could possibly need more ammunition to hate Fox repeat that to yourself: King of the Hill was cancelled to make room for The Cleveland Show.

Right until the end, KotH was well received and admired, and the consistency it maintained was not just of quality but of style. What was essential to its success was that instead of needing to shake up the style or the voice of the show to simply keep it fresh, what it focussed on was developing and refining that voice. And it helped that the voice was pretty powerful right from the start.

King of the Hill’s first season was short but strikingly strong. At 12 episodes long, it has a tightness and sense of direction that serves as a sort of mission statement for where the show would go in the future. It’s kind of incredible to see characters presented in the very first episodes of a show that feel fully formed, and that more or less, remain the same throughout their 13 years on our screens. Like Seinfeld, Peep Show or, and stay with me here, The Sopranos, what makes King of the Hill’s characters work so brilliantly is that they are fleshed out people from the start, with the writers revealing essential and complex aspects of them over the years, rather than randomly gluing traits on to them in an attempt to shake things up. They always act in character. Everything you find out about them - their fears, prejudices, their weaknesses - are there from the start, waiting to be uncovered. But what also links these four shows is the maddeningly realistic difficulty the characters have in trying to change. It’s that frustrating feeling that they should be learning something, but a fundamental stubborn-ness - and humanness - hinders their doing so. And so, Hank is endlessly desperate to keep things the way they are, and Peggy is desperate to be proven right (and she usually is, by the way). But underneath that stubborn-ness, there is a sweet, kind-hearted want for things to be better, and for people to be better. And that’s what KotH is nearly always about - people struggling with every day problems and trying to grow from that, whether they’re successful or not.

The second episode Square Peg, is an unusually good sophomore episode which follows Peggy trying to overcome her nervousness at having to teach a sex ed class. It’s a simple premise, but from it grows a story with character development - or at least an attempt at it - that feels natural to who Peggy fundamentally is. Instead of going off in absurd directions, the episode takes the time to explore the reasons that Peggy struggles to even say the names of sexual organs, and sympathetically follows her through her self-taught breakthroughs. It’s heartfelt, but funny - hearing Peggy enthusiastically shout “Vaaaa-ginaaaa!” is one of the biggest laughs of the season.

Even in episodes that prefer to focus on something absurd like Bobby practicing flirtation and kissing on a plastic doll’s head, there is a truthfulness to the characters that make the silliness feel realistic. Of course Bobby would do that because he’s silly, awkward and kind of weird. But how do we know that? Because the show shows rather than tells us that in stories that are always on point and within the realm of believability (except, maybe for Hank’s clothes being torn off by a tornado as he holds on for dear life to a telephone pole. But that’s so funny that it doesn’t matter). The second season episode, Meet The Manger Babies, is one of the finest examples of how an inherently funny premise (and execution - Brittany Murphy’s voice work throughout this show was phenomenal) can still work even when it secretly hides a genuinely moving backstory. Luanne is revealed to be the product of a severely broken home, and a throw-away line when Hank points out that she has a natural talent with puppets reveals that she’s used to using puppets from her visits from social workers. The episode hears her talking bleakly about the world, about how everything is going to hell, and the story tells us that she just wants some sort of stability and reliability in her life; even if it is Hank showing up as God in her performance. The heartache of Luanne doesn’t detract from how funny the episode is, but it really does enhance it. A lesser show would’ve thoroughly mocked Luanne for putting on a christian puppet show, and while KotH does poke fun at some of the stranger products of Christian America, it also understands Luanne and gives reasoning to her beliefs. She’s not stupid for putting on the show, she’s just looking for answers and comfort in a world that has treated her awfully.

While the complexity in these characters lives is evident, and while the show is frequently touching, it never forces on the viewer any easy or saccharine view of things, and never, even under the complex morality plays that occur, does the show stop being funny. Watching them back, these first seasons are consistently funny, with every episode providing a wealth of quotable lines. The second season episode, The Son That Got Away, in particular has an exceptionally high laugh quotient. Hank’s “Bobby, Al Yankovich blew his brains out in the late 80′s after people stopped buying his records” and Dale’s suspicious yet oblivious “How’d he know I wanted a beer?” in regards to Johnny Redcorn answering yes to Dale’s wife when she asks “You want a beer, sug’” are some of the hardest times i’ve laughed at this, or any show.

It’s in the greatness of the scripting (Hank angrily telling someone “You take that back!” after they tell him John Wayne’s real name was Marion is the funniest possible reaction to that fact), but also in the voice work which is outstanding all-round. To hear voice work this good on a show from 1997 is unusual, and it’s even more unusual to hear a seasoned character actor playing a series regular - Stephen Root steals almost every scene he’s in as Bill. Kathy Najimy and Pamela Aldon both absolutely kill it with their voice work, making every punchline of theirs sell perfectly, whilst also bringing nuance to their characters. And Mike Judge has Hank’s voice down from the moment he speaks, intonation and everything. It’s always a blast just to hear the characters talk, and these early seasons prove that KotH is a contender for best Cast for any animated show, past or preset.

There is a certain magic in these early seasons being hand-drawn. The character designs are distinctive and expressive (I personally adore the widening of Hank’s eyes when he’s in shock, and Bobby just looks so damn funny without even saying a word), and realistically detailed in a manner that fits the show superbly. With wider shots of the landscape and the town, it was often downright beautiful, with a warm mood and tone of its own that makes me miss hand-drawn cartoons very deeply. There is an attention to detail in it which mirrors the show’s excellent observation of both the positives and negatives of the small town in which they live. The satire is deceptively sharp, especially watching it 20 years on. A particularly good second season episode focusses on gender inequality in schools, and how under-funded the girl’s sports facilities are. It’s a sharp-toothed episode that exposes the ingrained sexism in the town, sexism that doesn’t leave itself at the door - Hank is one of the worst perpetrators of it in the episode. And we get one of the best and most prescient lines of dialogue about sexism i’ve heard in a show - when Bobby faces the fact that he will for the first time have to prove himself as a good Wrestler to stay on the team instead of automatically having a place now that a girl has joined and there are less spaces, he says “Yeah, and it's worse when they take away our favours, 'cause we're used to getting them.”. That line is applause worthy, and a good example of how good KotH was at tackling sexism. It gets extra credit for making a point to not make the girl, Kahn Jr, feel guilty for joining the team and instead pointing directly at the school and staff’s sexist policy and their refusal to cater in any manner for the girls of the school.

As well as sexism, racism is satirised when a Laotian family move onto the street, and characters, ‘likeable’ or not, performed painful but realistic and well-observed displays of racism, be it hateful or just ignorant. KotH didn’t shy away from these subjects and we should be glad that it didn’t - it was a satire, after all - one of nuance and experience that wasn’t afraid to pick out its characters flaws and expose them, always to strong and funny effect.

From episode to episode, it could bounce from functioning as a broader animation, to a social satire, to a heartfelt character study, and was often all these things at once. The episodes that i’ve rewatched lately from Seasons 1 & 2 are miraculously good - watching them again after so long feels like seeing an old friend who you realise you still have everything in common with, and not only that, but there are new things you didn’t realise you liked about them. The references to Seinfeld in the first episode might sound dated, but the only way in which KotH has dated is in the fact that there’s nothing like it on TV today. I didn’t just compare it to Seinfeld because they’re both 90′s comedies, instead I compared it because it’s the only comedy as methodical, precise and in its own unique mould that I can recall that managed such great success (and The Simpsons. But if I start talking about The Simpsons, I will not stop). I’m eternally grateful that KotH made it to 13 seasons (13 Seasons!!! That is A LOT of TV!!) and i’m excited to keep going with this rewatch, especially as there are dozens of episodes I didn’t see the first time around. It’s a warm but alert look at subtly flawed people - flawed in the every day sense - and a show that deserves to be remembered as one of the best comedies, animated or otherwise, ever made. 20 years on, its status as a classic only becomes more concrete.

#king of the hill #animation #article #tv #hank hill #writing #essay

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the-master-cylinder · 4 years

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SUMMARY An alien serial killer is sent to Earth to live among humans as a punishment for his crimes, and his body is genetically transformed to look like a human. Nevertheless, the transformation is incomplete and every few hours the alien’s body begins to revert to its original form, causing his head to explode. The situation prompts the alien to “borrow” heads from anyone who happens to be nearby. He gets it by squeezing the head off with a crab-like claw and skewering it onto his own neck. At the same time, Detectives Pierce (Chong) and Krieger (Gordon) try to figure out who is causing the killing spree, with only one clue: all the heads of the victims have been removed and are lost. The team slowly comes to the conclusion that they are facing a rather unearthly killer.

DEVELOPMENT The film was originally financed through the Kushner-Locke Company. They hadn’t had much experience in features, but it had inked a deal with Atlantic to make 10 movies with Kushner-Locke retaining ownership. The original script, by Sam Egan, proved to be too ambitious for a small company, McNaughton said. Numerous fight scenes and exploding buildings had to be scaled down to fit a $2 million budget, but Egan was willing to make the necessary changes. “The original script was monstrous in terms of effects,” McNaughton shakes his head. “The Borrower was always blasting things with this laser gun. There would have been hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of opticals. He was blowing up buildings, things were on fire, twice as many people were decapitated, and there was a huge radio telescope facility at the end which would have cost a fortune to build and blow up. McNaughton convinced the studio to hire fellow Chicagoan Richard Fire. Seven drafts were required; the film was originally going to be produced in Chicago with the same people used in Henry, but that was only one of numerous changes made.

Fire, who spent little time on the Borrower set takes a philosophical view of the whole matter. “The movie business is an interesting sport, and recognizing that is one way not to have a bad time,” he counsels. “If you have unreasonable expectations, you’re far more likely to be frustrated and disappointed. When I was in college. I thought that you wrote whatever you wrote a movie. A poem, a novel, a play-in a burst of romantic inspiration. You wrote feverishly and all the time for a weekend or maybe two, and then you produced the work and all the writing was done.

“Now, I’m not saying that it isn’t possible to have it happen that way. But my life experience is that it doesn’t. You have to keep going back to the drawing board and reconfronting the beast…refining the work. It’s more like sculpture than anything else, where you keep having to take additional whacks at it to get it just right.”

Fire does, however, lay to rest rumors that there was extensive rewriting done while The Borrower was being shot. That’s completely false. The script was not drastically rewritten during production. There were two extra lines put into the first scene that was the extent of the rewrite. As John said to me the first time we saw the movie on cassette. “This was the movie we set out to make it’s up there. The problems on this film were purely business. Period.”

Fire wasn’t the only Henry alumnus to work on The Borrower: Jones was on board again as producer, Elena Maganini came back as editor, and the music is credited to Jones. Robert McNaughton and Ken Hale. all of whom contributed to Henry’s haunting score. Organic Theater members/Henry co-stars Tom Towles and Tracy Arnold are also back. Arnold. who played Henry’s would-be love interest Becky. is seen briefly as a nurse. Towles. Henry’s skin-crawlingly degenerate buddy Otis. plays Bob Laney. the alien’s first and most loathsome victim. “Otis was a big stretch for Tom,” claims Fire. “He’s been one of my best friends for 20 years. and he’s one of the nicest guys you could ever imagine. It sounds like a cliché. but it’s true. Tony Amendola has a small role as a doctor and Mädchen Amick briefly appears as a rock groupie. Pamela Norris cameos as a hooker.

An early effects test shot-of Tom Towles decapitated by the alien’s handcuffs, used as a garrote-proved disastrous when a makeup man had to be found in three days to replace a departing Kevin Yagher. “The test was a disaster!” McNaughton howls. “It was scheduled to be shot in 11 hours. We shot for 23 hours straight, and even that wasn’t enough time. I thought it was horrible, but Atlantic was still interested in the project.” “The footage was awful and I was ashamed to have been a part of it,” said McNaughton. “Kushner-Locke stopped paying me because they thought Atlantic wouldn’t pick up the film based on the effects footage. Kushner-Locke took the film to Atlantic last December and they didn’t invite me, so they could say, ‘This is McNaughton’s fault!’ But Atlantic kind of thought it was okay, which it wasn’t.”

After not being paid by Kushner-Locke for five weeks, McNaughton thought the whole deal was off. He returned to Chicago, he was shocked when he got the news that Atlantic was still interested in completing THE BORROWER.

“Somehow, Atlantic got the picture away from Kushner-Locke,” McNaughton said. “We had to rewrite it and cut back on the effects. I asked Richard Fire, the man who co-wrote HENRY, to help me. But the attitude was, ‘Who the hell is Fire? We’ve got our own guy.’ It was the same old Hollywood thing. We worked on the new script for a month. Tennant hated it. He said, ‘You win, you can use your writer.’ Back in Chicago, Richard and I started working together. We made the film more character-centered. We pushed the cops chasing the alien into the background. The interesting thing is the monster taking over people. By the time we were done, we had completed seven drafts. The seventh was the one that got approved.”

From day one, McNaughton wanted to make THE BORROWER on his home turf in Chicago where he had enjoyed great success with HENRY. But even after scouting Chicago-area locations and assembling his people from HENRY, McNaughton realized the production was destined to be shot in Los Angeles because Atlantic viewed Chicago talent as inferior and less experienced than West Coast talent. They were also frightened by the infamous Chicago unions.

Tennant hired Elliott Rosenblatt as line producer. Rosenblatt poo-poohed Chicago and its locations and eventually got the production shifted back to Los Angeles, McNaughton said. From that point, Rosenblatt took an aggressive role on the set, eventually forcing the replacement of 12 key personnel, including the camera and sound crews.

“It was a disaster for me,” McNaughton said. “Rosenblatt sandbagged my DP and got somebody loyal to him. A guy named Bob New. I had seen his resume reel and originally chose not to hire him. We called the guy ‘Bob No-Can-Do,’because his pet comment was ‘we couldn’t do that. ‘He was into the fast, easy way to do things, not necessarily the right way.”

Then the big ship sank. Atlantic suddenly went belly-up. Tennant disappeared. Rosenblatt reportedly became at odds with the film’s owners. As McNaughton put it, “There were a lot of bad feelings.” Those feelings were so bad that when THE BORROWER was scheduled for postproduction work at Zenith Labs in Chicago, Rosenblatt tried to seize the work print at Atlantic and take it with him, McNaughton said. “One of the guys working with the company, R.P. Sekon, grabbed the film before he (Rosenblatt) could get it,” McNaughton said. “Otherwise, who knows what would have happened to it.”

McNaughton is still waiting to see what happens to THE BORROWER. It’s a project he decided to direct after he had rejected offers to helm New World’s WARLOCK (before that studio went under as well) and TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE 3. “I turned that down because I knew that if I made too many more blood pictures, that’s it. That will be my life,”

PRODUCTION McNaughton explains. “Originally, part of the joke was that he’s from a higher civilization, transported to Earth for his heinous crimes. It’s like, ‘If you want to act like a monkey, we’re going to put you in a zoo.’ Here, they said, ‘You want to act like a human being? Fine. We’re going to turn you into one, and drop you in Chicago.’ It’s the ultimate punishment.

“When he comes to Earth, his transformation fails,” the director continues. “His craft comes down in a forest preserve, where some dirt bag and his kid are poaching deer. They see this thing land, and when the transformation fails, he reverts to his alien form, but his head can’t. His head explodes, so he starts grabbing the heads of various human beings. He also gets chased by a couple of cops, who think they’re after a human murderer.”

One of the most appealing things about The Borrower, says McNaughton, is that all of the FX are derived from the story. “I’ve read a lot of scripts where they find some half-assed story and fill it up with gratuitous effects that aren’t organic to the narrative in any way,” he frowns. “They have what is basically a crappy story, and every so often they dump a bunch of gimmicks in there that don’t belong. They just sew them on. In The Borrower, the effects stem from the concept. Here comes this alien creature, his head goes away, and now he’s lost on Earth. He’s like a lion: He’s not really a bad guy, he’s just hungry.”

There are rather grim yet funny moments in the film. “I always go into those meetings where someone’s trying to sell the concept down the line,” he grimaces. “I hear things like, ‘It’s a cross between Terminator and Gone With the Wind!’ We tried to put humor in the script, but we weren’t really concentrating on it. It just happened that the players we got, like Tommy Towles and Antonio Vargas, were always thinking of ways to make it better. There was humor in the situations, and we were just fortunate enough to have players that hooked on to it, which brought us more than we expected.

“I hate gag humor,” the director goes on. “The humor in this story comes from the situations. It’s very humorous, very dark, and it moves very well. All of the gore comes from the fact that this creature has got to have new heads. It’s part of the story. It’s not gratuitous. There’s a metaphor to the script: He’s assuming these other people’s lives and personalities, almost like an actor.”

The story follows the title character’s attempts to fit into modern American life, assisted by such helpers and reluctant head donors as Antonio Vargas and Tom Towles. In addition to the various human victims, the Borrower even attempts (albeit unsuccessfully) an animal’s head. Along with the alien’s story, another plot involves a psychotic killer (Neil Giuntoli) who, at the film’s beginning, is captured by a detective (Rae Dawn Chong).

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“Scully the psycho then escapes and stalks Rae Dawn,” McNaughton details. “Eventually, he breaks into her apartment late at night, where she shoots and kills him. His body is taken to the morgue at the same time they bring in the dog-headed man. The dog-headed man then grabs the female coroner’s head, but the authorities shoot the hell out of him. They figure it’s all over, but the monster now takes Scully’s head! There’s a massive shoot-out, and a big boffo finish.”

Rae Dawn Chong was not used to working on projects like The Borrower, which led to a few uncomfortable moments. “Rae Dawn and I had a few run-ins,” the director reveals. “It was her first starring role, and I believe she was nervous and tense. Also, I don’t think she’s used to working on projects whose budgets are quite so low, where the amenities are quite so thin. She worked big blocks at the beginning and end of the picture, but during the middle three weeks she didn’t work at all. We had a scrape or two during the first three weeks, but I got along with her much better the last weeks, and it all went pretty smoothly.”

SPECIAL EFFECTS Although Kevin Yagher was in charge of the makeup FX, he farmed some of the work out to Robert Kurtzman, Greg Nicotero and Howard Berger of KNB EFX Group. “The work was pretty straightforward: Kevin had the real juicy stuff, and we got the stuff that he didn’t really want to deal with,” laughs Kurtzman, relaxing in the KNB lab. “He mainly told us what he saw, and we just did it here. He didn’t come in and beat into our brains how he wanted it. He basically just said, ‘This is what I’m looking for.’ We did most of the neck appliances, based on some of Kevin’s designs for the necks, and we also did several bladder makeups. Kevin took over the rest of the stuff, a couple of dummies that had their heads severed. There are a lot of dummy head gags, with severed heads. This is a very bloody film. I can’t even guess how they’re going to rate it.”

The filmmakers say that the majority of the FX work involves prosthetic makeup, along with a great deal of squibbing. The spaceship and outer space will be done optically, while armatures will be used for some of the head-splitting. At the beginning of the film, one of the aliens is seen in its natural insectoid form, as it leaves the Borrower on Earth. “The insect head involves mechanics,” McNaughton explains. “We had radio-controlled mandibles. We used fiberglass and foam rubber to build the alien’s body.”

RELEASE/DISTRIBUTION THE BORROWER had been produced with Atlantic Pictures set as the distributor. “Then Atlantic was sold during the production,” McNaughton said. “The boss went away in the middle of the night. New people came in, but they couldn’t get the company into shape. So, everything collapsed. The completion bond people took over the film. It was a fiasco.”

Atlantic Releasing was in a motel that used to be on Sunset. They had a pretty good-sized parking lot and about 25 or 30 employees. One day towards the end of production I had to go over there to talk about how we were going to shoot nights. I pulled into the parking lot, and it was empty. The building’s doors were swinging on their hinges. I walked in, and there was literally no one there! The computers were all packed up. They literally disappeared in the middle of the night, and took the few hundred thousand dollars that was left in our budget with them. So it was an insane experience making THE BORROWER. – John McNaughton (Director)

Rae Dawn Chong, appeared on THE PAT SAJAK SHOW a few months ago where she badmouthed THE BORROWER for having “the worst script” she’d ever performed. It was just an insult added to the stock piling injuries already suffered by McNaughton.

“It was a nightmare working with her,” McNaughton said. “She didn’t belong in a little $2 million movie. I mean, she wants to be Sigourney Weaver. She’s worked in big budget films before, so why did she do this picture? They asked her why she did the movie and she said because she needed the money. Why be so stupid as to go on TV and tell everyone you’re a whore?”

The Borrower (1989) Music Tracks

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CAST/CREW Directed by John McNaughton Writing Credits (WGA) Mason Nage … (story)

Mason Nage … (screenplay) and Richard Fire … (screenplay)

Rae Dawn Chong – Diana Pierce Don Gordon – Charles Krieger Tom Towles – Bob Laney Antonio Fargas – Julius Neil Giuntoli – Scully Larry Pennell – Captain Scarcelli Tracy Arnold – Nurse

Makeup Department Everett Burrell … special makeup effects artist Bernd Rantscheff … makeup artist Heidi Williams … assistant makeup artist Chris Yagher … special make-up effects Kevin Yagher … special makeup effects Evan Brainard … mechanical department: Kevin Yagher Productions, Inc. Steve Galich … special effects John Lundberg … mechanical department: Kevin Yagher Productions, Inc. Tony Rupprecht … mechanical department: Kevin Yagher Productions, Inc.

CREDITS/REFERENCES/SOURCES/BIBLIOGRAPHY Fangoria#84 Fangoria#109 Cinefantastique v20n04

The Borrower (1991) Retrospective SUMMARY An alien serial killer is sent to Earth to live among humans as a punishment for his crimes, and his body is genetically transformed to look like a human.

#90sMovies

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spongeguyandlelouchvibridankia · 4 years

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Christmas Gift for a friend

December 24th. 1933.

Spider-Man Noir, known only to a few as Peter Benjamin Parker, and affectionately known as Noir to 5 other spider people, stumbled into his office.

Blood soaked his trenchcoat, but it was painted black and white.

It was all painted black and white.

The steps to his office/apartment were now laced with pools of blood, dripping every so often as he ascended them.

The rusty railing made no sound as his hand used it to keep going, and the door only lightly squeaked as he pushed it.

Light washed over (sort of) the room, revealing his office.

A simple wooden desk, pens and papers scattered everywhere, and a left over cup of coffee from the morning that was ice cold; a hard, wooden chair, the 5th this week thanks to the recent mob attack of his building; and an egg cream stained couch that was somehow more comfortable than the bed despite the clear arch pain in his back.

Maybe because he wanted to feel that pain.

Just to feel something. Anything.

Burning matches was just not cutting it.

Noir tried to move his mouth, even a little bit, but his jaw was clearly disconnected.

And his hands were too filled with glass shards to really handle that right now.

The floorboards squeaked like the door as he tried his best not too collapse on them.

“Is… Is she ok?”

CRASH!

Clearly, his best wasn’t enough.

“It wasn’t enough… For that girl…”

Noir didn’t want to think about it.

He didn’t want to think about her.

About her terrified eyes as she was in the hands of those monsters.

About her petrified screams as he tried in vain to get her out from there.

About her outstretched hand as he tried to reach…

And about her faint, unmoving hand as the deed was done…

Her blood, still on his coat.

She was gone…

She was go…

Removing his mask for the first time months, Peter Benjamin Parker breathed heavily, flashes of the scene still burned in his mind.

He knew that Cletus Cassidy was a killer…

But he didn’t know how far he’d go…

Only the sound of heavy heaving could be heard from his office, soon deafened by heavy rain.

Heavy.

Chest.

Abrasions.

Left rib.

Maybe some fractures?

Maybe if he focused on the pain, it wouldn’t hurt.

“Hospital.”

Hospital.

That’s good.

They’d stitch him up all nice and well.

He’d be back on his feet.

Unlike her…

PUNCH!

Noir now felt a little bad for the hooligans he took on some days. His punch hurt like hell.

Hell. He’d go there some…

“Ok, this is getting ridiculous.”

Noir felt like shit, but he wasn’t going to stay in this cycle for much longer.

He needed… Air.

He needed to think.

The rooftop was sparsley populated, the pigeons flying away immediately as he crawled up.

Carefully sitting down, now realizing he may have a bruised tailbone as well, Noir closed his eyes, his mask back on so he wouldn’t have to face even the stars.

Her voice, still calling out for him, echoed in his ears…

…

“How could I have done this? How could I have failed?”

Noir had seen many terrible things in his life.

But this one almost took the cake.

It made him question everything.

How could he call himself a hero when he couldn’t save that girl?

How could he ever make up for such a mistake?

The metal in his mouth stung and he suddenly thought of another little girl in his life.

One who confused him endlessly.

He didn’t want to think about this now, but anything was a welcome distraction from the pained screams as she was touc…

Shaking his head, shivering, Noir forced himself to see the one person he didn’t get, even more than Ham: Peni Parker, a Japanese Spider-Girl from the year 3145.

When they first met, Noir thought she was slightly less confusing than the antromomorphic pig. For one, she wasn’t a cartoon character (at least, he thought), and secondly, she was a little girl. Those were easy to understand, no?

But as time passed, Noir found that less confusing did not equal easier to deal with.

Peni was a mixture of contradictions, a cavalcade of emotions: She was proud and a little haughty (introducing herself as a “genius, badass, and hero”, in that order), yet shy and almost scared whenever something really weird happened, like if some particularly scary looking guy would pass.

Of course, the reason was because Sp;dr needed time to re-charge, but Noir had a hunch that Peni wasn’t as brave, or to be less harsh, wasn’t as fearless as she liked to pretend.

Not that she was JUST a little girl!

In the three days he had spent with her, he had been given many chances to be impressed with the odd girl: She was a genius as she said (how DID she make that doohickey, and how did she pilot it were most impressive!), she was a skilled mechanic too (watching her work was almost mesmerizing, almost offering the illusion that you yourself could do such wonders) and her childlike wonder was at times, almost infectious.

Despite his unfamiliarity with this new universe, she kept asking him questions (which Ham was MORE than eager to answer with a quip and or pop culture reference), ones he tried his best to answer, because her eyes sparkled even in this mad color spectrum that surrounded them.

Perhaps that was why he had struggled at first to comprehend her, he thought, as he began to relax a little, breath now slower and more controlled.

Lying down on the roof, hat still firmly in place, he winced as she appeared before him, bouncing around almost as she pointed at things:

“Why are people still driving cars? Don’t they remember the fly function?”

“Isn’t that funny, Noir? (she had quickly assigned him that nickname) That guy is working in an office!”

“Wait, people still eat Hot Dogs? Did they NOT hear of the green bits epidemic of…”

Since then, Noir had not been able to touch a hot dog, though honestly, he noticed he was better off without them.

Sighing, but now with a hint of affection, his mind wandered to the first night.

Peni had so far both confused and impressed him.

She had even managed to help when they got attacked by some simple mugger, despite his attempts to get her to hide.

That… Ticked her off a bit, but he had managed to make amends with something called “Sugar Nightmare Express Deluxe and Knuckles”.

The sugar rush had taken time to cool off, but by the time it did, Ham was fast asleep and he was on a rooftop, surveying the area.

And…

Peni was there, suddenly.

“Whatcha doin’?”, she had asked, clearly shivering.

Noir did not offer his coat, but only because his eyes were still hurting.

“Shouldn’t you be asleep?”

“Shouldn’t you be not rubbing your mask?”

Noir chuckled. She was quick, he had to admit.

Pain still swelled in his gut, though. He needed some alone time. Besides, this kid wasn’t someone he should get attached too. He doesn’t do that. He…

He can’t do that.

“Look, doll, you really should rest. I’m sure that Ham makes for a good blanket.”

“You bet!”, he somehow floated up, wiggling his eyebrows.

“…How did you do that?”, Noir asked, as Peni couldn’t help but giggle.

“It’s a gift, just like my incredible sense of humor!”

As Ham floated down, wearing a bellhop outfit because OF COURSE, Peni looked over at Noir. “You know, you didn’t tell me what you are doing.”

“You know, you’re very nosey.”

Good trait in a detective, he couldn’t help but think.

Peni schooced closer and made puppy eyes. “I promise I’ll go to sleep if you tell me!”

Noir had to end this.

So he got up, hands in his pockets, and stood with his back to her, watching the painful sky from another angle.

“Doll, I’m serious: I’m bad news. Just stay away. Besides, I doubt you can help.”

Peni took offense to that and crossed her arms, turning her back too. “I can so! I can totally help!”

Noir pinched the bridge of his nose, frustrated. “Ok, then try this for size, kiddo: How come everything is out of wack? Why are my eyes seeing things that shouldn’t be there? Why the hell am I here, when I’m sure they could have chosen any Spider-Man?”

Ok, so maybe he was venting a bit. He had never liked himself. It had always surprised him that his Aunt May hadn’t cut him off.

And it was even more surprising when Peni suddenly turned and gripped his coat.

“Well… I think you’re sort of impressive.”

You couldn’t see it, but he was raising an eyebrow. “How so?”

She was shuffling at her feet. Suddenly, she remembered she was 14, and perhaps a little younger than she liked to think.

“…Well, you have the cool detective gimmick. And the hat! And… Well…”

She was avoiding something. You didn’t need to be a private eye to pick up on that.

“You’re holding something back. Spill the beans.”

Somewhere down there, Ham was spilling a cup of coffee and snickering.

“…I guess… Well…”

Finally, she spat it out, pouting.

“You make me feel safe, ok?!”

Noir was surprised by this, and turning wildly, he got blinded by the colors again.

Still, he blinked it away to focus on the weird, black and red blur who sort of looked like a girl, but resembled something else as well.

Her blacks and reds morphed into greens and pinks and blues as she became a shell onto herself.

“I know I play it tough, and I can take care of myself, don’t misunderstand…”

She sighed, looking down at a massive amount of responsibility.

“But I miss home. And I know that something is wrong here. And, well…”

She sniffled.

“You’re perhaps the closest thing I have to someone who can protect me if me and Sp;dr are in trouble.”

“HURTFUL!”

Peni shouted back. “Hey, you’re there to make jokes!”

“True. I retract my comments, your honor. The whole system is out of order, as is the escalator.”

Peni looked back at a very confused Noir.

“…I guess… Well…”

Peni clutched her tiny fingers together.

“You just feel nice. Maybe I’m wrong, but I think that we could be friends.”

No one had ever said such things to him, least of all a little girl.

Sitting down, putting a comforting hand, weird as it was, he avoided answering by letting her help.

“…All these… Colors, I think? Are blinding me. I come from a place where everythin’ is black and white. It’s… Painful.”

Peni was more than happy to teach him.

And as she did, Noir looked at her, at her reds and blues and pinks and greens and blacks that he could now sort of name (but constantly forget) because she helped him, and he couldn’t help but think how Peni was not only a mixture of contradictions and a cavalcade of emotions:

Peni Parker was a kalidascope of colors.

And for once, he didn’t want to turn away.

And that feeling had been there ever since, twisting in his gut.

Knots formed in his stomach as he thought of her, of all those odd moments since that night, where she would cling a little, where she would look down and blush, where she would suddenly climb his shoulders before sheepishly going down.

She’d tug at his coat and she’d offer to show him her world and she was always checking up on him and he didn’t get it.

What had he done? Why was she so nice?

And it was at that moment that Noir began to piece it together.

Peni had lost her dad, he remembered. It was a sore subject, like Uncle Benjamin for him.

And as hard as he wanted to hide it from her, the group had once managed to get him to talk about the man who ruined his life.

The man he later wrestled to the ground and beat the living daylights out of.

Blood was flowing everywhere, and for a moment, the chance was there.

But…

Revenge was not his game.

So he withdrew.

And as he walked down to his apartment, feeling like he was going to die, who else was waiting for him but Peni.

He had asked her not to come to his dimension unless he said yes, but she ignored him.

Not that there was time to be mad.

He wanted to, but the moment he started he saw Vulture…

And he fell to the ground, sobbing for the first time.

And that was when Peni Parker surprised Noir for the first time: She hugged him.

Noir had never felt so loved then when a girl from another dimension whispered that it would be ok in his ear.

And now it was all clear.

Why else would she do all this if she didn’t care?

Of course she cared: She saw him as…

As…

Noir stood up, wiping his brow, the image of the girl he let down very much in his mind, but getting replaced with a new task.

It was Christmas Eve.

It wasn’t too late.

At least one girl was going to be happy tonight.

It was an hour later when Peni Parker was in bed.

And a figure crept in to her room.

And laid a present on her bed (gift wrapping was harder than it looked).

Before he leaved, Noir observed her.

Her hair (black, if he recalled) was at rest, her eyes (large, wide… Calming) were shut, and her snores were nearly silent.

She muttered something about “gumballs” in her sleep, and giggled, and suddenly Noir realized that all his knots were actually wishes, wishes to die for her if it meant she was safe, vows to protect her from all harm, promises that would be kept till he was too old and too tired to keep going.

Suddenly, as he kissed her forehead, Noir realized how much he cared, even though he feared hurting her.

And though that fear didn’t go away, it didn’t stop him from seeing her and the rest as family.

When Peni Parker woke up that morning and looked at the spider plush, she smiled.

But it was when she saw the tag that said “Merry Christmas, Love, Noir” that she felt safe.

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