#his coworkers all canonically hate him because hes just a mean little bitch all the time and i think abt that a lot dksjbkjb

[spider-man-2o99]

Miguel is so mean i lobe him

aMEN. miguel is kind but he is NOT nice he is a goddamn bitch and i love that abt him so much

#talking tag #asks #spider-man 2099 #spiderman 2099 #miguel o'hara #he will do the Right Thing. but he s MEAN and abrasive and kinda annoying and doesn't want 2 be here. #there is a specific Flavor to his Meanness i think a lot of writers really struggle to get and it's. like... he isn't Cruel y'know? #like yeah there are a LOT of really good moments where he just tears people APART w/ his words but his default isnt Cruelty its COMEDY #he thinks he’s SO shocking funny and because he is often surrounded exclusively by Terrible People he's REAL comfortable just Being An Ass #his coworkers all canonically hate him because hes just a mean little bitch all the time and i think abt that a lot dksjbkjb

[xoxoladyaz]

I'm Gonna Getcha Good

(Female Steve Harrington x Eddie Munson, Canon Divergence, Originally published on AO3)

A/N: I'm hoping to have updates for the Paramedic series and the final installment of "It Hits Different" up this weekend, but until then, enjoy part one of my series in which Stevie Harrington is just as obsessed with Eddie as he is with her!

“This is getting really sad, Harrington.”

Robin’s voice snaps Stevie out of her stupor, causing her to drop her ice cream scooper on the ground for the third time that day. Shit.

“I mean, seriously, Eddie Munson?”

“I know,” she groans, sparing one last look out into the food court. Eddie didn’t come to Starcourt all that often, but he usually parked himself next to the Jamba Juice with his friends when he did, which meant that Stephanie got to ogle him for the approximate fifteen minutes it took for him to slurp down his smoothie.

“Like, if there’s anyone out there who hates your guts more than me, it’s him,” Robin continues, disbelief coloring her words.

Stevie shut her eyes and exhaled sharply. It’s fine. She’s fine. “I know, Robin.”

“I mean, even if he was into preps, your friends made his life a living hell.” While Stevie normally enjoys listening to whatever Robin feels like rambling about – even though Robin has made it clear that she’s definitely not Stevie’s number one fan – she really, really doesn’t want to have to listen to this. “I’m just saying, maybe you should aim lower. I think Jim the janitor is looking for wife number three.”

Stevie slams her now dirty ice cream scooper into the wash bucket behind the counter with more force than she probably needed to use. Whatever, it shuts Buckley up, and when Stevie declares that she’s going to take the trash out, she doesn’t argue.

By the time Stevie is back in from her errands, Eddie and his friends are long gone.

/////

“Here.”

Stevie glances up from her packed lunch – leftover pizza for the second day in the row because she hasn’t had the energy to cook anything recently and just keeps ordering takeout – to see a sheepish looking Robin Buckley sliding a cup of USS Butterscotch across the small break table towards her.

“What is this?”

“It’s a genuine ‘I’m-sorry-for-being-a-bitch’ sundae.” Robin settles into the chair across from her, still looking a little peaky. “I, uh, definitely went a bit too far yesterday, and I made you upset and I get it, I mean, I’d be upset if someone made fun of me for who I like, and I didn’t know that you really liked him but I should have known because every time he shows up you get these big puppy dog eyes and - ”

“Robin, Robin, stop!” Stevie drops her pizza and holds up her hands. Robin cuts off and flushes bright red. “It’s okay. Really. Besides, if there’s anyone who deserves it, it’s me.”

“I don’t know, Harrington,” Robin replies slowly, and there’s a glimmer in her eyes that Stevie hasn’t seen before. “You keep doing things that sort of blow my mind. I think I might even be starting to like you.”

Stevie can’t help herself from smiling, nor can she stop the snort that leaves her throat. “Are you sure you’re feeling okay? Do you want me to call a doctor?”

“Ha ha, you’re hilarious.” Robin rolls her eyes, but she offers her a small smile in return. “Seriously though, Eddie Munson? Like, have you ever even talked to him?”

“Honestly,” Stevie reaches for her sundae and starts digging in, “I didn’t really notice him until after I graduated.”

“Really?” Robin scoffs. “He’s kind of hard to miss.”

Stevie shrugs. “I don’t know, I didn’t really care about anyone outside of Tommy and Carol when I was friends with them, and then after Barb died I felt like I was barely able to care about myself.”

Robin doesn’t say anything, so Stevie pulls her gaze away from her quickly diminishing sundae and towards her coworker. “What?”

“Are you, I don’t know, are you okay?”

Stevie feels herself relax which, huh, she didn’t even know she was tense. “I think so. Graduating helped. Finally getting away from Tommy and Carol and Billy Hargrove helped. Deciding to go to cosmetology school helped. And the kids - ” Stevie breaks off with a fond laugh, “the kids help a lot too.”

“Huh.” Robin is still just sort of looking at her, and that glimmer in her eyes is brighter. “Well, I’m jealous you got out of there. I still have a year left.”

“Ehh, you’ll have a better senior year than I did,” Stevie shrugs again.

“Seeing as Billy Hargrove isn’t obsessed with me, yeah, you’re probably right.”

“Just break a plate on his head, that’ll fix that.”

Now Robin’s eyes are so wide, they’re practically popping out of her head. “What?!”

Stevie bursts into laughter and yeah, Stevie thinks she’s starting to like Robin Buckley.

/////

“I still don’t get it.”

It’s been nine days since Stevie’s last Eddie Munson sighting and eight days since Robin and Stevie made up over some USS Butterscotch, and this time when Eddie and his friends sprawl around their usual table, Robin joins Stevie in her watching.

“Did you have some sort of awakening after watching The Breakfast Club or something?”

Stevie frowns, but she doesn’t pull her eyes away from Eddie. “What breakfast club?”

“You haven’t seen – no, you know what, I’m not going to let you change the subject this time. Why Eddie Munson?”

Eddie throws his head back, laughing wildly, and Stevie is suddenly wildly jealous that she’s not the one sitting at the table making him laugh.

“Stevie. Dingus.” Robin jabs her in the side and Stevie hisses but it’s a success, she’s paying attention to Robin now. “Why. Eddie. Munson.”

“I just – I don’t know,” Stevie sighs, rubbing her now sore ribcage, thank you Robin Buckley. “He just so alive and outgoing and real. And I dunno, I think it’s kind of sweet that he adopts all the weird loner kids at school, and I like his curly hair and his leather jacket - ”

“Stevie.”

“ – and that weird jean jacket vest thing that he always wears, and the rings on his hands, and his hands, his hands are huge and did you know that he can play the guitar because apparently he can play the guitar, I saw his friend putting up a sign for some band that he’s in - ”

“Stevie.”

“ – and he has such pretty eyes and a gorgeous smile and God his arms, have you seen his arms when he rolls his sleeves up - ”

“STEVIE.”

“ – and I want to drink smoothies with him and go to the movies with him and make out in his crappy van with him and then take him home and tie him to my - ”

“STEVIE!” Robin shrieks, smacking her hand across Stevie’s mouth, and it’s loud enough to draw the attention of the sophomores passing by the shop. Robin waves along with her other hand, and they shoot the pair weird looks, but they move past.

“First of all,” Robin finally says as she drops her hands from Stevie’s mouth, “never talk to me about the disgusting sex you want to have with Eddie Munson ever again, I will have literal nightmares about what you told me.”

“But - ”

“NIGHTMARES, Harrington! And second of all, Christ, I knew you had it bad, but I didn’t know you had it that bad.”

Stevie can feel herself blushing bright, bright red. “No I don’t.”

Robin just blinks at her. “Oh, really?”

“Really.”

“So you’d be able to talk to him like a normal person then?”

Stevie nods even though on the inside she is screaming NO NOPE NO WAY ABSOLUTELY NOT.

“Great, because he’s coming in here.”

Apparently her flight instincts don’t kick in when fighting interdimensional monsters, but they do kick in when Eddie Munson is within talking distance, because she’s dropping onto the floor and crawling underneath the counter before she can realize that’s precisely what she’s doing.

“Uh huh. Totally normal.” Stevie glances up at Robin and yep, Robin looks about as unimpressed as her tone. “I lied, by the way. He and his friends just left the food court.”

“Blergh.” Stevie knocks her head back against the counter and sighs. Robin shows her mercy, though, and lets her sit there and recover for five minutes until the kids come charging in, wanting Stevie to let them sneak into another movie which she does because she’s a pushover. Worrying about the kids is enough to get Eddie Munson off her mind, at least for now.

/////

If cosmetology school doesn’t end up working out, maybe Stevie should join the secret service or something because hey, she’s really good at surviving Russian torture. She can almost imagine the look on her father’s face if she added that to the resumé he continuously tailors on her behalf. Suck it, Dad.

(She might be a little high still.)

“I’d be a great secret agent,” she tells Robin, although Robin is still puking her guts up in the toilet next to her and probably isn’t listening. “Like James Bond. And Henderson could be Q!”

“Ugh,” Robin finally moans, “how do you know James Bond characters well enough to name them?”

“Uh, because my dad is obsessed with the movies, they’re, like, the only thing he watches when he’s home.”

“That sounds awful.”

“Ehh, Sean Connery is sort of hot. I like his accent.”

Robin makes a fake retching sound. “That is the worst thing you’ve ever said, ever.”

“Oh come on, are you telling me Connery doesn’t do it for you at least a little bit?”

“First of all,” Robin snorts, “he’s old enough to be my father, and second of all no, he doesn’t do it for me. I’m more of a Honey Ryder girl,” Robin sighs out, and then she falls quiet, too quiet.

Oh.

Oh.

“Well,” Stevie starts slowly, because she only has one shot at this, “your opinion is definitely wrong, because Solitaire is obviously the better choice.”

Robin sputters, and then she’s laughing, and Stevie tucks and rolls underneath the stall until she’s sitting across from Robin, and then they’re both laughing.

“Are you seriously arguing with the lesbian, dingus? Honey Ryder in that bikini is so fucking hot!”

“Uh, yeah, but she’s no Jane fucking Seymour, Robin!”

/////

Russian torture definitely sucks, but Stevie emerges on the other side with Robin Buckley as a best friend, and for Robin? She’d be tortured by a million Russians.

She’s really glad Robin is there in the aftermath. She’s a good distraction, goading Stevie into more arguments about James Bond and Bond girls and other movies when they finally run out of Bond films to talk about, and having Robin’s voice fill up the silence helps, especially on those nights when she can’t fall asleep without seeing Billy Hargrove’s corpse, or seeing the look on El’s face when she finds out that the chief isn’t coming back this time.

She doesn’t miss the mall. She doesn’t miss Scoops and its shitty customers and its even shittier uniform. She doesn’t miss Robin, because they’re working at Family Video together every day now. But in those moments where she lets herself not feel guilty for missing anything at the mall – which are few and far between, because everything has been tainted by Russians and by death – she lets herself miss the time she spent watching Eddie Munson from afar.

But then one day, Dustin Henderson walks into Family Video wearing a familiar baseball-styled tee, emblazoned with a large demon, and suddenly her days of watching Eddie Munson from afar are back, and it’s all going to be totally fine.

/////

It is not totally fine.

It is not totally fine, because now that Dustin and Mike and Lucas are in Eddie’s little club, they will not stop talking about it. More specifically, they will not stop talking about Eddie, and how cool he is, and how awesome his hair is, and did you know he’s in a band and he can play the guitar, Stevie, why don’t you play the guitarand he listens to metal music and it’s the coolest shit ever, stop telling me not to swear Stevie, you’re not my mom and Eddie’s really smart, actually, he’s just too smart for the school system and Eddie just wrote the most incredible campaign Stevie, you should have been there, and Stevie is about three seconds away from pulling her perfectly coiffed hair out of her head.

“Is this revenge?” Stevie moans, her face buried in the pile of recent returns.

“Yes, and it is so, so sweet,” Robin sings happily from behind her.

“ – was actually a lich the entire time – are you even listening?” Henderson’s outraged voice squawks from across the counter. Stevie sighs and forces herself to look over at him.

“Yeah, yeah, something about a barhop – ”

“Barkeep - ”

“ – and it turns out he was a witch the whole time?”

“ – a lich, Stevie, a lich – God, why am I even trying? Eddie was right, he said you’d never be able to appreciate the intricate world of D&D!”

Stevie feels herself gape at Dustin, because not only is apparently Dustin Henderson talking with Eddie about her, Eddie apparently doesn’t think she can appreciate D&D? Which, he’s not totally wrong, there are a lot of rules and things she doesn’t understand and she’s really bad at words, which Robin says is because she’s dyslexic, but she does actually try to understand what Dustin is talking about. It just – it makes her stomach feel icky, knowing that whatever Eddie said probably isn’t as nice as what Dustin said, and Dustin is rarely nice when he’s in one of his moods.

Robin, bless her, is apparently offended on Stevie’s behalf, and so she steps up to the plate when it becomes clear that Stevie is speechless. “Please tell Munson that he can judge other people’s capacity for decoding nonsense when he’s going to school full time and has an actual job.”

“And migraines,” Stevie adds in. “Lots of migraines.”

Dustin, at least, manages to look a little sheepish. “Sorry, Stevie. It’s just really exciting to be in Hellfire right now!”

“I know.” Stevie manages her best fond smile, even though she still feels unsettled on the inside. “I’m really happy for you, Henderson. So, how did you fight the lich?”

/////

The thing with Dustin Henderson is if you give him an inch, he’ll take forty-thousand miles, so now Stevie is treated to an hour-long play by play after every single Hellfire session wherein Dustin praises Eddie’s genius and how hard and intense the game is and you should really give it a chance, Stevie.

“Henderson,” Stevie finally cuts him off one Saturday morning. He’s cornered her behind the counter at Family Video after instructing Mike and Lucas to pick a good movie for once in their goddamn lives. Robin abandoned her to trail after the boys (traitor), and after twenty minutes of Dustin talking about the wondrous biology of acid frogs, Stevie’s patience is wearing thin. “I love you. You’re the son I never had.”

“You’re nineteen.”

“Exactly,” she nods, “the son I never had. But if I hear another word about the many uses of an acid toad’s bowel movements - ”

“Acid frog Stevie, weren’t you listening?!”

“ – I am going to lose my mind,” Stevie finishes calmly. (Much more calmly than the situation warranted, in her opinion.)

“This is important information, Stevie!”

“Dustin, how is this possibly important information?”

The bell above the door rings, signaling a customer has entered, but Robin greets them before Stevie gets a chance to. (Not that Dustin would give her the chance to, judging by how furrowed his brow is. He only gets that annoyed little squiggle in the center of his forehead when he’s about to launch into his most passionate speeches.)

“Because these are important things to know, Stevie!”

“Okay, Dustin, I hate to break it to you, but acid frogs aren’t real.”

Dustin snorts. “That’s not true, actually, the acid frogs of Eastern Australia are an endangered species - ”

“You know that’s not what I mean, Dustin!” Stevie throws her hands up in the air. “Your fantasy acid frogs aren’t real.”

“Don’t waste your breath, Henderson,” a nice voice speaks from behind Dustin. Dustin grins at the sound and turns to face the speaker. Stevie, meanwhile, freezes in place, a shiver running up her spine. “Such truths are wasted on the unenlightened.”

Eddie Munson strolls up to the counter, dropping his hand on Dustin’s shoulder and shooting her an icy smirk. “Well, well. If it isn’t the former Queen of Hawkins High. How does it feel to be one of the common folk, your majesty?”

A pair of snorts (coming from a pair of boys in matching Hellfire shirts whose names she can’t recall) trail Eddie’s proclamation, followed by Mike’s laughter from the back of the store. Dustin, the traitor, just shoots Stevie a smug grin.

(And look, she’s not panicking, okay? She’s not. It’s just that this is the first time that she’s ever talked to Eddie Munson, at least in recent memory, and it’s already off to kind of a bad start, and honestly he’s being kind of an asshole right now but ugh she still likes him and wants this to go well, why does she care so much about wanting this to go well?

Breathe, breaths, in, out. Robin rounds the corner and shoots her a worried look, but Stevie just shakes her head. She’s turned worse situations around. She can do this.)

“I don’t think there’s anything common about you, Munson,” Stevie replies, shifting her weight forward onto her right foot so now she’s leaning forward. “But I’m doing pretty well today. Or I was, until someone,” she glances quickly at Dustin before looking back at Eddie, “decided to spend fifteen minutes teaching me the seven best uses for acid frog excrement.”

“It was disgusting,” Robin chimes in as she joins Stevie behind the counter. “And also a little bit concerning, if I’m being totally honest. Like, that’s a lot of time to spend thinking about fake frog turds.”

Eddie blinks at them once, twice, before the smirk falls off his face and he collapses forward with a groan, removing his hand from Dustin’s shoulder so he can drop his head into it instead. “Really, Henderson? Has our kind not suffered enough?”

Dustin huffs out a breath. “It’s important information!”

“And I’m truly honored that you want to share it with me. I am,” Stevie cuts him off before he can continue. “I love our mother-son bonding time.”

“I’m not your son.”

“But I think I’ll go to your father if I have any questions about DND in the future, okay?” Stevie finishes, and she can barely stop herself from grinning, especially when she starts to hear Robin choke behind her.

Dustin just looks confused now. “My father?”

“Yep.” Stevie lets herself grin now and returns her gaze to Eddie Munson, who’s looking over at her now with a confused expression on his face. “Which reminds me, what’s the difference between wizards and sorcerers again? I can never keep it straight.”

Eddie drops his hand and gapes at her. Like, his jaw is practically on the ground. He backs up, away from the store counter and spins around once to look behind him (at his friends, who are also looking equally confused) before turning back around. “I’m sorry, are you – me?”

Stevie shifts closer to him, resting her chin on her hand so she’s gazing up at him. “I don’t see any other dungeon masters around here, do you?”

“What is happening right now,” Dustin murmurs out, and it’s not quite a question or a statement.

“Go play with your friends, Henderson, Mommy and Daddy are talking.”

“I – Mommy and Daddy?!” And now Henderson is shrieking, and Mike is poking his head out from behind the stacks to shoot them a glare, and Robin is trying really hard to cover up her laugh with her cough, and Eddie? Eddie is flushed bright red and just staring at her.

“So, yeah, wizards and sorcerers. I know there’s a difference, I can just never keep them straight. And since Dustin says you know the most about DND out of anyone, I might as well take lessons from the best, huh?”

“Oh my God. Oh my GOD!” Dustin is practically shrieking, and then Robin’s running around the counter and pulling him towards Mike and Lucas, ignoring his protesting.

“I – you – what? What?!” Now it’s Eddie’s turn to squawk.

“Also, I’m really glad you came in today. I mean, it probably was for a movie because, you know, Family Video,” Stevie waves her free hand around, “but I’ve been waiting for an opportunity like this to come up.”

“An opportunity for what?” Eddie parrots back slowly.

“To flirt with you, obviously.”

“Obviously – obviously? Obviously?!”

“Yeah, obviously. I didn’t get a chance at the mall because you never came into Scoops,” and okay, she wasn’t planning on laying it all out on the line here, but Eddie’s looking increasingly like he’s two seconds away from running and she’d really prefer it if he at least believed her when he ran away, “which was annoying because our ice cream was way better than Jamba Juice anyways - ”

“What?”

“ – and the kids have been talking about you non-stop for the last three months, and it really means a lot that you took them under your wing, and, I mean, I already thought you were hot - ”

“WHAT?!”

“ – and judging by the handcuffs on your belt, I think it’s safe to say we have things in common outside of the kids. And I might not be like naturally interested in DND or whatever, but I’d let you be my dungeon master anytime,” she finishes with a wink and yep, she broke him. He’s frozen and flushed she really, really wants to see just how far down that blush goes.

The taller of his friends – Jeff, that’s his name – walks forward and grabs Eddie’s arm. “This isn’t some sort of joke, right?”

“Nope!” Robin calls out before sliding to a stop in front of the counter. “She’s been crushing on him for months. It’s honestly been sort of pathetic.”

“Gee, thanks Robin,” Stevie rolls her eyes. Reaching for a nearby receipt, Stevie grabs a pen and quickly scribbles her number on the back. “Here’s my number. I’m home most nights after seven and I have every other weekend free. Make sure he calls me if he’s interested,” she finishes up with a click of her pen, and then she’s passing the phone number to Jeff.

Jeff smiles at her, a small, shy sort of smile. “I will. C’mon, Munson. Let’s go before your face freezes that way."

He grabs hold of Eddie with his free hand – Eddie, who’s still flushed and staring at her – and he motions for their other friend to grab his other arm, and with that, the trio of Hellfire boys leave Family Video.

“That was the worst thing I’ve ever heard,” Mike announces as soon as the door shuts, approaching the counter with a sour look on his face.

“I didn’t know you had game like that, Stevie!” Lucas crows, laughing at the sour look on Mike’s face. Dustin, on the other hand? Dustin looks as shellshocked as Eddie did.

“You – you’re into Eddie?”

“That’s an understatement,” Robin snorts. “Seriously, though, that was intense. I thought you were going to flirt with him, not kill him.”

“What?” Stevie shoots back defensively. “He wasn’t getting that I was serious and I wanted to make sure he knew that.”

“Don’t worry, we all know it,” Mike gags, and it’s enough to set Lucas off into giggles again.

“You’re into Eddie,” Dustin repeats, and then all of a sudden he’s beaming. “You like Eddie! This is PERFECT!”

“Oh, no, no, no! Dustin!” Mike groans, but Dustin is already running out the door.

“Don’t worry, Stevie! We’ll make sure true love prevails!”

“God, do we have to?” Mike whines again, but he dutifully follows Dustin out the door. Lucas shoots Stevie another wink and laughs before following suit, and then it’s just Robin and Stevie in an otherwise empty Family Video.

“That was probably a bit much.”

“Nah,” Robin shakes her head with a laugh. “It would take a lot for anyone to be ‘too much’ for Eddie Munson. He’s into you, dingus.”

“You think so?”

Robin knocks her head against Stevie’s. “I bet you five bucks he asks you out by next Saturday.”

“You’re on.”

/////

Three days later, Eddie Munson leaves Family Video with a wide grin on his face, and Stevie is too busy dancing around in excitement to feel too badly about her five dollars that are making a new home in Robin’s wallet.

#steddie #Steve harrington #Eddie munson #female Steve harrington #stranger things #steddie fanfic #platonic stobin #in this house we love robin buckley #tw: discussions of acid frog poop #too many acid swamps to count #honestly I need to come up with another d&d thing for these fics

[littlewestern]

if you’re still taking ship asks, thomas? and if not i understand!💙 ty either way

I sat here looking at this ask for about 45 seconds with a blank expression on my face because my knee-jerk reaction to people asking what I think about about Thomas is usually, "I don't think about him at all <3". This is both rude and not true.

I like Thomas in small doses! I like early season little shit Thomas who makes life harder on everyone around him because he's new and doesn't know anything, and I like later season CGI revisits to little shit Thomas so long as it doesn't get too obnoxious. One of my favorite things about the later seasons of Little Shit Thomas is how faithfully it hews to the source material.

There are two things that remain wholly consistent across the TVS canon Thomas iterations: 1) He hates his snowplow and 2) He has zero game. He gets absolutely no bitches. Negative rizz. Maidenless behavior. The only women who love him unconditionally are his coaches. I think this is one of the funniest things about his character.

Across the board, whenever he meets a girl engine in a serial episode, Thomas immediately starts beefing with them. Emily, Rosie, Ashima, Nia, Cleo. Granted, Thomas will beef with most new engines he meets at first because he's insecure and wasn't raised right, but with the girls it goes on without exception. And it's also funny, as I mentioned.

That said, this is the foundation for what is probably my favorite Thomas ship that NO ONE has ever heard of, of which I am the sole captain and which I will probably go to my grave defending.

GINA:

For what they are, the Italian characters in BWBA are probably some of the most overdeveloped side characters I've ever seen on this show. And for basically no reason, because no one besides DJ and I watched season 23 and paid attention.

That said, you might be surprised to hear that Gina is one of my favorite characters in the entire TVS and no I'm not even joking about this lol.

I love her design, I love how pretty she is, I love that she reads as a little bit older and more experienced without watering her down to something bland. In the episodes she shows up in, she demands all of your attention and I'm happy to give it because she's got this fantastic design and colorful personality I find eminently watchable. That on it's own is enough to make me like her.

But my favorite thing about Gina is that, like all the other female character mentioned above, she frequently gets into little arguments with Thomas. The difference here is that while Emily and Rosie and Nia and Ashima don't really let Thomas's immaturity get under their skin and move on from their arguments with him easily, Gina gets so upset when Thomas argues with her.

Like magic, this transforms the relationship from scanning as "coworkers having a disagreement" to "Gina cares what Thomas thinks about her, and the fact that she cares bothers her so much". It's hard to describe without having seen the episodes, so I do encourage you to watch All Tracks Lead To Rome to see what I mean. It;s fascinating behavior from an engine who, up until the point she starts arguing with Thomas, seems like she has her shit together. Then Thomas says some dumbass shit and she immediately lets it ruin her day.

it's like. You ever develop a crush on someone who is just... Like you can't stand them sometimes? But you still have a crush on them even when you're completely done with their shit? And you're mad at yourself for still thinking their dumb face is adorable and for letting it bother you so much because you can't stop thinking about their dumb adorable face even though you're mad? No? Just me?

Well. It's like that. And that is such a funny and refreshing way to approach a character dynamic, especially in this show where most of the side characters are One Note Nobodies.

tl;dr: Gina is morosexual. Thomas asked her what the Italian word for al dente was and now she dreams of kissing him under the moonlight. And she hates that so much.

Also go watch the Italy episodes of BWBA, they're great.

#ttte #thomas #gina #asks #anonymousboxcar

[anachronistic-falsehood]

ok ok ok ok farmer mackerel infodump incoming. u asked for this !!!!!!!

i think! if i were to turn him into a full oc i would change the stardew backstory a little bit. instead of grandpa passing the farm down 2 him. i think his grandpa was really good old time buddies with Willy . after grandpa dies and mackerel goes through his whole career crisis thing he realizes that the happiest he's been was with his grandpa and his old fishing buddies out on the water !!! so he moves to sdv to become willys apprentice :]

he is somewhat awkward in social situations 1) because hes more of a "i belong out in nature" type of guy and also 2) his best friends are old men so i think hes like. 25 but speaks like hes 87. picked up all the old man lingo. this bitch speaks like if jake english was a fisherman !!!

u know all those memes that are like "i say 'morning' because if it were a good morning id be fishing" or wait i just googled funny fishing shirts and this one popped up im crying. he wears this into harveys office one morning probably

ANYWAY. U KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

uhhhh what else what else. feral behavior he eats seaweed and algae fresh off the hook ive said this before. he probably chews on stuff hes not supposed to a lot. i accidentally befriended haley really fast this playthrough without meaning to so i think it would be funny if she was like his wingman. babygirl you cant go on a date wearing your smelly waders let me find you a real outfit. she probably picked out his tux for the wedding HFBDJSNS

hes kinda no thoughts head empty i think. nothing in his head but air and love and bait worms. tilts his head like a puppy when hes confused. not necessarily stupid but just like.... clueless

OH ALSO hes got a big water dog. somethin like a chesapeake bay retriever (idk the dog i picked in the beginning looked like this and i googled good fishing dogs and these guys came up so. perfect)

I THINK THATS ALL THE IDEAS I HAVE RN . lmk if u want anything else hehe

NODDING FURIOUSLY TAKING NOTES THANK U MAC. jake english but as a fisherman I LOVE THAT <3 i love mackerel he's just a silly lil guy!!! ik we're not in multiplayer or anything but i gotta make the lore make sense so im gonna canonically say for the sake of the fic that our grandpas owned the farm together and now brandy and mackerel moved in and kinda split the property in half 2 do our own shit on our own farms but we're still besties and share a lot of the stuff we grow. like neighbors!! also i like 2 think we were coworkers at our shitty jobs before moving together. LOVE that ur friends w all the old men and then there's haley. the token gen z givin u fashion advice <3 girl who hates being dirty and smelly is besties w the feral fisherman!!! most unlikely friends thats so fun i love it <3 thank u mac i love ur little farmer guy i am holdin him gently in my hands like a baby hampter

#friend tag :3 #whiskey plays sdv

[storiesofsvu]

hiii! hope you’re doing great 💖💓💕 I was wondering if you could write something regarding Rita’s (calhoun obvs hehe) “discarded” relationship with Ed Tucker. I’ve noticed that that’s something not talked about much. Idk, maybe your thoughts or a headcanon, thanks! 🌸

it’s okay if you don’t want to write about them, I’ll understand 🤗

Hi!! thank you!! i'm doing good!

okay. first off I think that people don't talk about it much because a.) it's only ever mentioned in a deleted scene so not everyone knows about it. and b.) because a lot of us hate it. LOL. tbh i never liked Tucker, especially on my first watch through because of who the actor played on Gossip Girl, like, he came onscreen and I instantly went "ick". upon a second or third watch through I finally kinda supported him & Liv together, and thought that they really should have been end game (out of all her toxic dick choices, he really was the best). BUT, lets talk about Rita...

Sometimes I think that Rita was out at a bar one night in dire need to get laid, and it's nearing last call, and Tucker's the only one left and she's all *sigh* "fine" kinda thing and takes him home to rail him into oblivion, maybe pegs him a couple of times. it maybe happens 2-3 times but that's it. (cause the line was Liv: "you should know i have history with Tucker" Rita: "so do i." so we don't have much context)

BUT. I can also see it being a much more longer term, serious relationship. (though canologically i dont think it was but i'll get into that later)

I do canon Rita as being very fluid when it comes to her sexuality, I mean, she has canon chemistry with SO many characters that there's simply no way that she's straight. but i also kinda feel like she prefers/has a soft spot for women. So while she may refer to herself as queer/gay, she's not gonna turn down a fun time.

Anyways, with Ed, they have a lot in common based off work alone. I think that he probably approached her, because, who the fuck wouldn't. And he's not intimidated by her like some people are. She's all "yeah sure, why not" about a date, because, why not. They go for dinner or drinks, and she's probably impressed by the place he chooses cause it's a little more high class than she expected from a cop. They can easily bond over bitching about detectives breaking rules and fucking shit up, and she probably has more than a few stories about cases he's handled of cops who fucked up and thus she easily got the case thrown out. They probably both despise Stabler, and overall, they have a good time together and when it's done, they probably share a quick kiss on the cheek, leaving it open to continuing to be coworkers (ish) or more.

Rita reaches out for a second date, and they're able to just be comfortable with each other. Ed enjoys going out to museums, art galleries, the more "boring" stuff that a lot of men wouldn't like, he's like...more sophisticated than Rita would've thought cause she kinda just lumps him in with the usual cop types. I think in the long run, they could work, Saturday mornings reading the paper, helping each other with the crossword, playing games like backgammon, maybe chess, cards, just like the little quality time with each other that they each enjoy and makes them happy. We're also hoping Ed's a good cook, which honestly, I can see him being. Like, full on, better than Carisi, can make delicious and fancy shit at home and that makes Rita fall even harder for him since like, she sets pasta on fire. I honestly see them both having more of a romantic relationship with each other, like, enjoying time, snuggle up, sleep in the same bed, but not too much sex, don't ask me why. but i do. I think that they could fall into a very *comfortable* domestic relationship/dynamic that they're both kinda *shrugs* "this is nice, lets just be life partners" and live together and come home to the other and not actually get married.

okay. now CANON wise, the scene in s18e1 Terrorized that we DO see. Is Rita entering the interrogation room Liv & Tucker are in and he greets her all "Rita...what're you doing here" (or something like that) and she replies "nice to see you too Ed..." with a raised brow and tilt of the head and a bit of attitude. SO, obvi they're greeting each other by first names and shit so that's you're first hint that they have history. BUT, hear me out. it's the "nice to see you too" that makes me think it was rather casual, and that Ed ghosted her to a sense. Like, not a sexual fwb thing, but like, they'd been on a small handful of dates and had been enjoying things and then, who knows what happened, but he ghosted. she's not pissed about it, per say, cause she is Rita fucking Calhoun, but like, she's annoyed, she doesn't like being ignored and probably deserved a text at the very least. (and then to get back at him she goes and fucks liv so good liv forgets tucker's name)

anyways! thats what i've got for ya for now!!

#rita calhoun #rita calhoun x ed tucker #rita calhoun headcanons #law and order svu

[dancingkirby]

The Sim(p)s GX Part 4: Judai's Harem

WARNING: Sexual references and one sex picture, although it's low-resolution enough that I don't think that anything explicit shows all that well. I had to post this one because it was hilarious.

Also, due to one of the new characters I introduced, I think it's worth noting that (as of yet) all characters involved in sexual activity in this game are Young Adults (which I assume means twentysomething).

Rachel: "UGH, why do Mom and Dad always talk about sex in front of me?! That's it, I'm going to bed, and I'm probably going to have nightmares about it, too."

For a couple IRL days, nothing much interesting happened. Manjoume and Taniya practiced some awkward dance moves (to be fair, the song was kind of a banger):

Misawa was busy with work, as well as flirting with his hot coworker Dahlia Holbrook:

Manjoume made a sad painting:

And Neo aged up into a toddler and gained his human disguise.

Taniya and Misawa were trying for a baby, as were Manjoume and Asuka, but these initial attempts were getting frustrating. I decided it was high time for a new household. Introducing: Judai's Harem!

Clockwise from top left: Kenzan, Sho, Judai, Rei, Yubel, and Johan! Careers: Tech support for Sho, scientist for Kenzan, caterer for Rei (because she made all those bentos for Judai and Martin in canon), astronaut for Yubel (I told myself that this was pretty mean of me, but did that stop me? No.), doctor for Johan (although this has proven difficult since he decided to be a whiny little bitch about the hospital's Easy Listening music), and finally, Judai was supposed to be a freelance computer programmer but he realized he hated it so I just had him quit. Now he spends his days at home, playing computer games, fishing, and gardening. Canon.

Now this is more what I was hoping to get out of the other households with Wicked Whims! Everyone is flirty and constantly attracted to everyone else. Somewhat surprisingly, the first couple to actually have sex was Johan and Rei. Then Yubel and Judai.

(Basically canon dialogue, right?)

And...they decided to do it on Rei's bed, while Johan was sleeping on it. (I'm pretty sure that something similar happened in the OG Simps.) But he didn't seem to mind. In fact, he was a little turned-on when he woke up after.

Funnily enough, Yubel gets along with pretty much everyone better than Judai does, most prominently Johan and Rei.

Yubel: "I'm sorry about the whole body control thing..."

I think it's worth showing a better view of Yubel's design. I was worried I'd have to download a bunch of mods to make it work, but the base game actually did pretty well, even biologically to an extent.

I even found a symbolic work-around for not being able to replicate their asymmetry with this face paint:

Meanwhile, drama back at Casa Tenjoume. Asuka got into a physical fight with Manjoume. At this point, I feel like their shared love for Neo was the only thing keeping the relationship together. Later, she got into another fight with Misawa.

But, finally, I cheated and set fertility percentages into MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE, and we finally had some success with one of the couples!

The birth of this baby would prove to be the epic clusterfuck to end all clusterfucks. But more about that in the next part.

#yugioh gx #the sims 4 #soulshipping #valentineshipping #tigershipping

[llynwen]

Ts is the Marty lust anon again, I appreciate you taking my ask seriously and what you said. I agree that Marty was already attracted to rust before the Crash episode, and that seeing rust this crazy freaked him out, but I said all that bc to my thinking, a man like Marty who's attracted to volatile "exciting" people who are the opposite of domestic would have his attraction put in overdrive by that night's events even if he was scared. It's the only area of his life where he invites challenge and danger. Plus it helps that there's an obvious history (to me) between rust and ginger—that sort of energy with two people who used to be involved is palpable even if they now fucking hate each other.

hello again anon! i take all of y'all's asks very seriously and had a lot of fun answering your previous question, so thank you for that and for following up! i love dissecting these two bitches and studying them under a microscope, media analysis is my favorite pastime fr.

I see your point, marty truly is into crazy pussy lmao, so this could work. mark him down as scared and horny sort of situation. he does seek excitement in his sex life, and both of his affairs do end with the women acting a bit unconventionally (to put it mildly).

now, the ginger thing. you cannot imaging how stoked i am to talk about this. i've had this discussion with some of my friends before, so i'll reiterate what i said then because i think i made some valid points. there is a Very obvious history between those two, and i don't think it's even subtextual - it's literally right there. the way ginger does not bother with respecting rusty's personal space, gets all in his face, and then fucking grabs his dick. i don't think men who were just 'coworkers' (i don't have a better word for being in the same gang) act like that. my read on this situation is that the environment of the gang scene was one where men would use queerness and queer activities to assert dominance. no better way to make someone your bitch than literally making them your bitch, if you know what i mean. and i think crash used this to his advantage. he'd let ginger dominate him in this way, but wouldn't give him the satisfaction of it. one little act of defiance. i think he made sure to Actively enjoy it. that was his in. he was basically like, yeah, you might be assaulting me but joke's on you, i'm into that shit. this is how i see their dynamic, anyways. this would also explain rust's satisfaction with Finally being allowed to not be submissive to ginger - he has Fun roughing ginger up, almost like it's a reward.

i like your interpretation of the situation and i see your vision crystal clear. i have to admit i haven't been focusing on the erotic part of rust and marty's dynamic all that much (i'm a hopeless romantic, sue me). usually when i Do think about it's when i read fic, and most of that is set post canon. i'll for sure be paying attention to that when i watch the episode (i caved and am doing another rewatch). thank you again for sending me an ask, and i'd love to hear your thoughts about the ginger situation. love and light, mwah

#ask #true detective #yall are soooo lovely talking to me and making me think about interesting things<333333 #thank you thank you thank you

[pixelrhys]

this has been rotating in my brain at 100 mph and my brain is also like “make this an ask blog” but i already have like 3 ask blogs i need to update orz

anyway grocery store au bc the idea is funny (and also bc i work in a grocery store. the holidays are coming up. im struggling to cope.)

i only have the gym leaders so far but i’ll draw the elite 4 eventually... and maybe some of the side characters too (like riley, cheryl, etc)

anyway here’s the rundown on the gym leaders (also bonus sona):

Roark:

- Unlike how I draw his canon counterpart (decently tall) and unlike his canon self (just having a good time :]), this guy is STRESSED and SHORT.

- applied for this position because it’s away from too much noise.

- Early 20s, autistic, and lives with his dad. Trying to find some college classes though! 

- Has good relationships with all of his coworkers.

Gardenia:

- Easily runs between departments. Floral isn’t very active anyway so it isn’t hard.

- Usually works with Cheryl and they’re BFFs.

- Seems to have a stronger relationship with Candice, Roark and Maylene.

- Mid 20s but she’s getting through it just fine (Or at least that’s what everyone else thinks).

Maylene:

- This is her first job as she just turned the appropriate working age (16).

- HATED that that was the only position she could have. Luckily they won her over with the cart gathering, as she is strong enough to push more than the others.

- Hot-headed and competitive with the other clerks.

- Good friendship with Wake and looks up to him.

Wake:

- VERY nice guy but kinda stupid. Big himbo.

- Somewhere near or in his 40s.

- Can be very loud and tends to pat people roughly on the back as a sign of affection. This often knocks people over because he’s pretty strong. Only Byron and Volkner seem to be able to take the pats well.

- Used to be a wrestler before deciding to move to something less extreme.

Fantina:

- Usually wears makeup and usually looks younger than she actually is. If anything, she’s close to middle-aged.

- Actually LOVES baking, especially little poffin-like pastries. She sometimes brings snacks for her coworkers.

- Still dramatic as hell and has dreams of being famous one day.

- Has an interest in the occult. She enjoys sharing ghost stories and Gardenia isn’t a huge fan of them.

Byron:

- Is the one who managed to help Roark get his job in the first place. Tends to be a little hard on him but only because he knows he has potential and wants him to succeed.

- Has a resting bitch face sometimes but he’s not actually that mean. Gets a little grumpy but other than that he can be cool to hang around. In his mid 40s.

- Good friends with Wake and Fantina. Fantina mostly because her station is right next to his and she tends to talk a lot.

- *hands you a piece of cheese* *hands you a piece of ham* *hands you a piece of cheese* *hands you a piece of ham* *hands you a piece of ch

Candice:

- Her job is to make sure certain items are in stock. She likes to hang out in the giant cooler in the back of the store though.

- Can be a little hyper depending on the day.

- Around her mid 20s like Gardenia.

- Is the one who is getting pins for everyone for their aprons. Not everyone has one yet but she’s working on it.

Volkner:

- Around 30 years old.

- Actually has pretty bad depression but never brings it up because he doesn’t care that much. He’s already on medication.

- Pretty repressed and aloof. Despite this, he isn’t actually a bad guy. Years of mental problems made it hard for him. He still gets along well with his coworkers, especially one of the managers (Flint, who worries about him a lot). Customers don’t seem bothered by his attitude as no one’s complained about it yet.

- Great with electronics. If the cash register breaks, he fixes it no problem. Tends to go overboard when he’s not feeling anything and causes power outages at his house.

AND SONA

Fitzgerald:

- Works in maintenance but sometimes goofs off when no one is looking. Mostly hangs out in the back with Roark or in the breakroom.

- Same age as Roark (Early 20s) and gay as hell.

- His living situation is actually pure shit. He lives in a small, messed up apartment so he never lets anyone come over. Doesn’t bring this up and avoids any questions about it.

- Strong friends with Roark and that’s about it. The others (Especially Byron) think he’s a little too annoying for their tastes (They don’t hate him though, but Byron is watching him like a hawk).

#pokemon #pokemon diamond and pearl #pokemon diamond #pokemon pearl #pokemon platinum #pokemon brilliant diamond #pokemon shining pearl #sinnoh grocery au #gym leaders #sinnoh #gym leader roark #gym leader gardenia #gym leader maylene #gym leader wake #gym leader fantina #gym leader byron #gym leader candice #gym leader volkner #pokesona #trainersona #my ocs ft fitzgerald #digital art #artists on tumblr

[limetimo]

RAB fics I read 14-20 March

the salt and the sea by WizardGod I'm not usually one to read "James Potter' little sister this and that" fics, but boyyy am I glad I gave this one a chance. It's their NEWT year and Theresa (Teddy) Potter is paired up with Regulus Black for Prefect Patrols. The disinterest/disdain they feel for each other is whacked all out of balance when they fuck against a wall. Evan ships it :D

Best Friend's Brother by zeppazariel this is!!!!!!!! fantastic!!!!!! I know I've been reading a lot of Jegulus/Wolfstar identity porn lately but this one *chef kiss* stands out. Regulus and Sirius didn't talk or see each other since Sirius run away from home, and Regulus run away at 18. Regulus and Remus are coworkers at a café. Regulus starts dating James, not knowing that James is his beloathed brother's best friend. Remus starts dating Sirius (and he doesn't even know Regulus HAS a brother until later). Eventually Remus and James realise that their boyfriends are the infamous hated brothers and they're kinda in deep shit: because Black Brothers are petty, bad bitches that should not be fucked with. Mind the tags for hardcore past child abuse and other trigger warnings.

a shrike (to your sharp and glorious thorn) by nyxveuss the author announced they were rewriting this glorious story, so I re-read the whole thing for my pleasure. I'm sad to see it go but eager to see nyx's new vision of the "Regulus dies and is yeeted to his fifth year"

Dripping With Sin by ScreamingFae I! Bartender!Regulus catches Vampire!Barty's eye who simply must make him his. Doesn't matter Regulus is already dating Guitarist!James.

Silent Screams by Izumi284 semi-dead Regulus gets tossed to OotP! Also who's the white and gold cat? O.O

I see you in the stars by Bibliosmia0 James is having nightmares about Regulus drowning which makes him approach the younger Slytherin... and I mean ofc he accidentally falls in love with Regulus. Feat a really good friend Remus!

Finders Keepers by jeggie_toast a slowburn Jegulus that starts when Regulus signs up for the Quidditch team, just checked the tags and it's canon COMPLIANT :( as I said, slow burn, and pretty long, I'm currently about 1/5 way through :D

Follow In Her Paw Prints by Erica45 Regulus gets offered a helping paw... hand... from Mcgonagall :D AKA Regulus gets adopted! And fuck Dumbledore! All my homies hate Dumbledore! I hope he gets stabbed honestly

when you were mine by battlehamster our most beloved "secret high school sweetheart turned single parent and a criminal on house arrest" AU Regulus and baby Harry are SO CUTE I'm gonna die

Drugs and surgical scrubs by anauro another most beloved! Doctor!Regulus and addicts!Marauders! Slowburn Jegulus! Black Brothers drama! Battling one's demons! Platonic Bartylus subplot that makes me smile! And much more on Drugs and surgical scrubs~

My Own Private Blackpool by LadyVisenya an OC from Percy's year makes friends with a deeply traumatised man who lives in a villa in her town... turns out his name is Regulus Black. When Harry Potter claims Voldemort is back, these two set of Horcrux hunting! And accidentally fall in love but it's super slowburn and pretty organic and doesn't give me creepies despite the age difference.

The Horcrux Hunt by Keysie I can't believe there's only two chapters left of this beauty ugh. Regulus comes to the conclusion Voldy is a little bitch, goes to Dumbledore, Dumbledore hooks him up with Remus to do some Horcrux hunting; Remus wants to date Sirius but Sirius is a dummy with attachment issues; Remus and Regulus develop a friendship only two men who almost died together numerous times can develop. Their combined snark makes Dumbledore want to retire :D In short, Voldy's going d o w n ♥

As The World Caves In by reylo_is_canon Hermione/Theo Nott time travel with Regulus as the head cockblock :D

Professor Black by FaithlessBex Regulus teaches History of Magic, yay. (Quick thought, did anyone think of Astronomy!Professor Regulus? I think it'd be very sexy of him.)

Born to Run, Break the Mold by agentofreedom Regulus goes to cave and survives and ends up on Sirius' couch, time to fuck some shit right up :D

glimpses of heaven by lunahunt !!!!!! So good!!!!! After the Prank, James is all off his groove. Euphemia signs him up for a Quidditch course with Wronski, the Seeker who invented the Wronski's faint. But guess who else got enrolled in the course! Yep, you guessed right, Regulus Black! Them boys gonna be seeing each other once a week for the rest of the summer :D

Harry just can’t wait to be a big brother by anauro for battlehamster what it says on the tin! super cute dometic Jegulus ♥

Lion's Roar by Seralyn semi-dead Regulus to OotP

and we're gone by blackkat the night Sirius run away

Black Madness by LimeOfMagicLimo Regulus is Tired and when Walburga hexes Kreacher over a minor mistake, he snaps and kills her. And then he becomes and alcoholic and kills Voldemort too.

---

Strike a Pose by Anonymous okay so this is Ron Weasley/Draco Malfoy PWP but it's??? so good??? and the first time I read this pairing so I'm just going to leave it here as a treat for ppl who want to broaden their horizonts

#regulus black #fic rec

[princesssarcastia]

loki and the avengers and being a terrible person who’s TRYING

alright!  alright, fine, god, I can’t take it anymore.  i guess we’re going full 2012 up in this bitch, because I’m going to meta about the avengers in the MCU now, because im going insane.  i mean between this and the harry potter what-is-going-ON.jpg

i’ve been thinking about things I’m seeing on my dash about the Loki show, and what they’ve done to his character (taking away all his sharp edges because apparently you can’t be Good with them); and I’ve been thinking about the pepper potts/JARVIS mcu fic Hardwired (which is one of the greatest things I’ve ever read, even now that I hate touching the MCU.  maybe even especially now).  I’ve had lots of conversations with SainTalia about their fic in the comments, and one concept they talked about that hit me like a bolt of lightning is how in mcu fic, people liked to sort of wooby-fy Tony Stark.

Tony Stark, literal genius mechanist who made a real AI, heads a billion dollar arms company that’s been supplying bombs and guns and planes and whatever to the U.S. government since WWII.  That Tony Stark is not going to be anything other than a privileged white man who expects the world to be handed to him on a silver platter, who expects the world to revolve around him because it always has, because his wealth and genius have made it so.  He’s an asshole!  He’s nothing but dangerous and sharp edges and if he was real, most people on this site would hate his guts and rightfully so.  But because he’s a complex character with room for growth, he also loves Jarvis and Pepper and Rhodey and, even in his earliest days, has something like the seeds of a conscience even if he applies it in a very american-exceptionalist way.  Writing his as weak and scared and like he’s always been interested in doing the right thing is a disservice to his character.

To bring this back around: Where’s that one post about how villains always get the lines that are true that we don’t want to admit to, so that we can write the truth off as just a pithy monologue?  Loki has a line in the first Avengers movie:

“You lie and kill in the service of liars and killers. You pretend to be separate, to have your own code, something that makes up for the horrors. But they are part of you. And they will never go away.”

He and Natasha are both playing mind games with each other in this scene to be sure, but like—Loki is right, with this line. 

Everyone on the goddamn Avengers in the beginning is a fucking terrible person except for Steve Rogers.  All of them.   Tony Stark, we covered above.  He a goddamn arms dealer whose company sold to terrorists, sure, but also gave the U.S. the arms it needed to devastate Afghanistan and Iraq.  Natasha Romanov is a former assassin who’s murdered children, and innocent people, and guilty people; who used to do it against her will for the Soviet Union, and now does it of her own free will for the U.S. government (sorta).  Clint Barton, depending on your flavor of canon, either used to be a thief or used to be a mercenary for hire.  Bruce Banner engaged in dubiously ethical super soldier experiments for the U.S. government and then, like, turned it on himself when he got desperate enough to prove it could work.  Thor is LITERALLY a war criminal; he got pissy one day and decided to go murder people he thought were of an inferior race, nearly starting a war in the process.

Steve Rogers is none of these things, but this isn’t about him.

The whole point of the Avengers that I sort of appreciated is that this is not their first chance, or even their second, or even, sometimes, their third.  They didn’t have a realization that what they were doing was wrong before they’d already done it; before they’d made doing the wrong thing into nearly all of what they were.  Nothing about their stories is conveniently timed.  They all have skeletons and victims in their closets that they literally murdered. 

But when they did finally have that realization, after the fact, after Yinsen was dead by weapons Tony had designed and his company had sold, and Drakov’s daughter was murdered and Natasha had so much blood on her hands, and the frost giants were dead and Asgard on the brink of war and Thor banished with no way to do anything to change it, and the Hulk already a part of Bruce and breaking Harlem—they still started doing the right thing anyway.  Or trying, at least.  Trying to make up for the horrors.  Think of Elliot Spencer, if you’re looking for comparisons. 

And they do get rewarded for it narratively! But that’s not why they’re doing it!! They’re doing it because its worth doing of its own merits; and they’re not always very good at it, because they have no practice and are unlearning some terrible habits, but their is grace in their failures.  Not saints, but seekers.

All these terrible people who are trying to be a little less terrible on their own, only its a little difficult when you’ve spent your whole life revolving around violence and murder; They all, each and every one of them, end up on that hellicarrier in the first avengers movie not even trying to fix their mistakes, because its too late for that, but instead, trying to, i suppose, avenge the people they’d wronged by themselves.

The hope for us fans, of course, was that they would then start trying to be less terrible together.  Instead, the mcu decided that not only would they never be more than hostile coworkers, but also that the five of them needed their sharp edges filed down so they could be canned Superheroes™ that no one could object to, until they became nearly unrecognizable.  Or, in some cases, the MCU just sort of glossed over their terrible bits like they were never unforgivable in the first place.

to those of you still desperately caring about the MCU who have now, apparently, watched them do the same thing to Loki in only eight episodes, you have my sympathy.

#mcu #ugh #meta #avengers #tony stark #loki #let characters be terrible awful people who are trying to be better thanks #let them be assholes let them be violent #let them be BAD AT BEING GOOD #let them struggle to recognize what the right thing is! #let them continue to struggle and slowly get better at it! #let them be hypocritical about other people doing the same #until someone reminds them that hey; that used to be you! #THERE IS A REASON TONY AND LOKI WERE VIBING IN THE FIRST AVENGERS MOVIE #AND THAT IS BECAUSE THEY WERE BOTH THE S A M E #this has been a psa #someone save me 2012 is coming back nine years too late

[tigerdrop]

hey i just wanna say the long posts genuinely make my day. also can you talk more about gordon freeman character because the way you write him makes me quake in my gay little boots

i would love to talk about gordon freeman. thank u for the opportunity

the first thing i need to communicate about gordon is that this dude sucks. and i say this in the fondest way possible. he is a bitch from the moment he drops into the world until the moment he goes out. if you dont believe me, give it another watch! gordons mouthy and rude for no real reason, at least so far as “being a regular dude on his way into work” goes, and this dude goes around calling his coworkers names with zero provocation. (of course, we all know that the reason is because its a funny guy improv stream that borrows a bit from freemans mind, but im talkin from a character sense.)

but my argument isnt just that gordon freeman sucks. its that he sucks in a very specific way that i find insanely endearing. i love this dude. i love to hate him. hes awful in a very mundane sense - weve all known a guy like this, at least if youve spent too much time online - and its cathartic to watch him suffer because of it.

gordons a smart guy. as written, hes gotta be - hes a recent MIT grad, on his way to work at a top-secret research facility to do weird shit with crystals and theoretical physics. but the thing about smart guys is that theyre often......selectively intelligent. we can see this in the way that he has a hard time navigating his surroundings, and needs the science crew to guide him through it and keep him alive.

this is one of those things that is a natural consequence of somebody going through the game for the first time, but that i am interpreting as “gordon is kind of stupid sometimes”. its uncharitable but its not like he doesnt deserve it. he likes to boss around the crew as if he knows what hes doing, when he often very much does not, and is fond of demeaning their intelligence. hes real bad about this with tommy in particular, treating him like hes a kid whos playing at being a scientist when tommy is actually a decade older than him. all i am saying is that gordon ought to stay humble. hes awful cocky when he perceives himself as better than others.

which, i think, tracks with how cocky he gets when he gives up on the whole “well-meaning citizen” thing and just unloads bullets into people. he puts up a front of being a Nice Guy, you know, just some dude caught in a bad situation who doesnt like seeing his companions obliterate every NPC they come across, but that doesnt stop him from cackling like a fucking madman and mowing down aliens (and soldiers) every once in awhile. when he stops seeing himself as helpless and starts seeing himself as the one in control, the gloves come off. he gets mean. and i think thats very sexy of him

this, among other things, is why i am insistent that gordon freeman is a control freak. he desperately wants to be in control of the situation at all times, shepherding around the science crew primarily by bitching at them, but its of limited success. its futile. sisyphean. tommy, coomer, bubby, and benrey exist almost to torment him with exactly the thing that would make him suffer the most: a gaggle of people running around causing problems for him, but he cant go anywhere without them b/c hes reliant on them to make it out alive.

its perpetual suffering, and its cathartic to watch. and funny, too. and if youre a little weirdo like me, its very, very enjoyable. how twisted up he gets when nobodys listening to him! how sweaty and frazzled he must look. its cute, and it also makes me want to reach through the screen and shake him and tell him to just be a little nicer. he wants control but he doesnt know how to attain it, he doesnt know how to play nice like a real leader. i think its a neat contrast to gordon freeman as we know him in HL2, where he literally is the leader of the resistance and has to live up to it. this is gordon freeman but if he was moe through helplessness.

“helpless” is, i think, a great way to describe him. a core bit of imagery in half life is this sense of railroadedness and helplessness, with gordon freeman being put into play like a chess piece and having no choice but to move forward. and this iteration of gordon leans into that by being totally dependent on the science crew in order to make progress and Not Die. and hes also subject to the whims of benrey, local eldritch weirdo who has basically made it his life mission to fuck with gordon.

gordons anxieties dont help with that. if he wasnt so fun to stress out and fuck with, the science crew probably wouldnt do it so much! too bad for him that they like fucking with him so much that he was driven into a panic attack (multiple times, even, depending on your interpretation). hes got that real neurotic mindset. always worrying about shit that could go wrong, and attempting to exert control over his surroundings in an effort to control the anxiety.

IMO the real way to nail the Neurotic Gordon Freeman Experience is to combine the ever-present anxiety with his pervasive sense of self-loathing. he openly states that he has no friends and nobody seems to like him, and to that, i really gotta say, i wonder why. he doesnt really seem to factor in that hes kind of a bitch, and has way too high an estimation of his own intelligence relative to everybody elses. its really one of the worst ways to be: aware that people dont like you, but unaware of exactly why. if he was like, 10% nicer, he probably wouldnt have had half as many issues getting through black mesa, but also, its funny to see him squawking his way through the game. so, you know.

its stuff like that that makes me headcanon him as a dude with low self-esteem in general. convinced that hes not likable, not attractive, out of his element......impostor syndrome, except that theres some truth to it. this is a guy who truly does not realize how good he has it: he really is just an average shitty dude, and yet, somehow, benrey took a shine to him. some poor motherfucker out there actually likes him and wants to suck his dick. thats dedication

also, i keep bringing up “repression” when i talk about gordon. and hopefully, what ive been talking about helps explain why. he has a strong desire to be a regular dude, not just murdering his way through black mesa, but if hes pushed hard enough he leans into it. gets bossy. picks up a cigar off a dead soldier and takes a long drag, before smacking forzen around with a pistol and ordering him around. gordon freeman is a regular, kind of anxious guy who likes competitive swimming and streaming on justin.tv and making anime references, and he is also a guy who takes a filthy pleasure in making a trained soldier his bitch. and i didnt make up any of this shit - this is purestrain canon, baby. this is a guy with problems

to me, this screams the kind of guy who represses a lot of shit b/c he doesnt feel like its morally decent. you run into this guy a lot online: the wokeboy, the online leftist, the guy who spends too much time on social media websites. (like reddit. i think he would actively use reddit and he would never get any appreciable amount of karma but he never stops posting. its sisyphean! cathartic.) from the way he talks about “bootboys”, i think it tracks. he knows about imperialism, he knows about feminism, but at the end of the day hes your average american white dude who struggles with internalizing it.

a lot of those dudes struggle with sex and gender issues. (dont we all.) when youre trying to be a Good Person(tm), you spend a lot of time thinking about your own relationship to sex and kink and all that shit. and i maintain that a too-online dude who buries a lot of his control freak tendencies would also try to bury a lot of weird sexual shit in an attempt to seem Normal and Well-Adjusted and not like a little freak. i justify this by the sheer number of times gordon blurts out weird sex shit as a joke. there are only two outcomes to making that many piss jokes: either youre secretly a piss guy, or you lathe-of-heaven yourself into becoming one. i will stand by this

ive talked a lot about why this dude sucks. now, let me talk to you about what makes gordon so much fun to write. first things first: hes funny! a subjective evaluation, yeah, but both in- and out-of-character, hes aiming to be funny. and being the straight man to everybody else plays into that whole “helplessness” thing.

secondly: underneath it all, there is a good dude under there. gordon worries when his companions get hurt, he tries to clean them off and patch them up, and hes got his lil leftist heart in the right place. you could even read a lot of his bossy, bitchy demeanor as him wanting to make sure everyone gets out okay and doesnt hurt themselves. when it comes to animals and anti-imperialist sentiment, gordons a pretty good guy.

hes the kind of guy who would probably see a dog on the street and get excited and play with it, but would get really prickly about the correct way to put dishes in the dishwasher. control freak tendencies.

finally, subjecting such a miserable, tormented guy to even more psychological anguish is really, really fun. you feel a little bad for him, but he kind of deserves it. so many problems he goes through are purely of his own making, and if gordon would just relax and quit trying to hard to maintain control - of himself, of the people around him - and own up to having Problems and Issues, he would be a happier guy. but thats why its fun to bend him until he breaks. being a little control freak myself, putting gordon freeman thru psychosexual torment is cathartic.

when it comes to writing his thought processes, the fact that he is canonically some kind of psychotic (yes, i am boldly claiming this. suck me) and i am also canonically some kind of psychotic makes it easier to write what i think his thought processes are. i just give him my brain issues of “getting lost in thought” and “overthinking fucking everything”. a touch of paranoia helps. even if i dont explicitly label him as schizophrenic please know that i am writing him as a paranoid little nutcase at all times because, uh, you write what you know.

paranoid. anxious. of the mindset that everyones out to get him (which isnt helpful when everyone is out to get him). repressed and deeply Not Normal but trying so very fucking hard to be normal and well-adjusted. a control freak with sadistic tendencies who also really, really likes getting bullied by his best frenemy. a hapless little nerd who sounds really cute when his voice starts to break from nerves. and, most importantly, a dumb jock. do not ever forget this.

thats gordon freeman, babey. hope that helps

#asky #careposting

[angeltrapz]

for the “give me a character” meme! Eric, Adam, William, Mallick, Strahm, Rigg!!!!

YESS thank u!!!!

Eric:

How I feel about this character: That's my boy!!! <33

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Uuuu okay. Adam, obviously, but concerning the SAW polycule: Adam, Art, Lawrence, William, & Mallick!!

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Him & Rigg!!! That's his best friend!!! + he and Gibson in the Eric Lives AU!! (Gibson IS dating his best friend + recognizes that he's made the effort to change <3)

My unpopular opinion about this character: You Understand This but the idea that he's irredeemable/deserved to die is complete and utter bullshit. This post that you made perfectly describes my feelings on that!!

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: Firstly that he. Y'know. Didn't die. But I would have loved to see any of his interactions with Hoffman? Obviously they knew each other + I like to think they have since they were in academy together, so there's gotta be some sort of history there, y'know?? I feel like he definitely cared about Eric so I would've been very interested to see more regarding that relationship! + one more big one: I wish he knew/was at least made aware of the fact that Daniel was ALIVE and okay. It kills me thinking abt how this man died not knowing if his child made it out.

Adam:

How I feel about this character: I loooove him he deserved better. I relate pretty heavily to him.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Hehe. Lawrence obviously!! Chainshipping is a HUGE comfort ship for me. BUT! Regarding the SAW polycule: Lawrence, Eric, William, Gibson, & Mallick!! + when concerning that alternative canon continuity we've been talking abt, Strahm. But only in that circumstance lol,,

My non-romantic OTP for this character: MANDY!!! In any AU where she's either not a disciple or abandoned her apprenticeship, I firmly believe that he and Amanda would be best friends. Mean gay/lesbian solidarity siblings who would fight tooth and nail for each other + who get each other on a level that not many others can. Pamela also!! Along w Mandy I like to think they talk about their experiences being trans a lot + just bitching w each other lol.

My unpopular opinion about this character: IDK how unpopular this actually is but I 100% believe that Adam would never become a disciple in any capacity, ESP not of his own accord. I genuinely think he'd rather die. That's just not something I can see him doing in any circumstance.

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: I wish someone had gotten him out of the bathroom :( And in an AU where he lives I hope someone tells him what a bastard Zep was!! No one made that dude hold a gun to Diana's head and listen to her heartbeat what the FUCK was that!!

William:

How I feel about this character: He's such a sweetheart I love him,, <33

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Lawrence & Adam <3 in the polycule though this includes Eric & Mallick!!

My non-romantic OTP for this character: He and Pamela obviously!! His sister is his best friend and they're there for each other 100%.

My unpopular opinion about this character: Much like Eric I don't think he deserved to die/that he's completely irredeemable... he fights so hard to save everyone and is utterly devastated when he can't. He's willing to hurt himself to save others (nearly dislocating his shoulders trying to keep both Addy and Allen, burning himself with the steam for Debbie, etc.) and it's like. John is always talking about how it can't be personal but it seems pretty fucking personal here!

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: The fact that nobody saw how hard he fought for his coworkers + the sacrifices he made for them upsets me to no end. That was intentional. John didn't want Tara + Brent (or Pamela for that matter!) to see him as human and that fucking bothers me!! So basically I just wish that they could've seen it via camera like literally almost every trap victim gets in some capacity!!

Mallick:

How I feel about this character: Yet another character I relate to wayyy too much <33 I love him...

All the people I ship romantically with this character: BRIT!!! + concerning the SAW polycule: Adam, Eric, William, & Lawrence!! (Art maybe too,,)

My non-romantic OTP for this character: I like to think he and Laura would've gotten along actually? I feel like that would be a good, healthy friendship. And I do like the idea of he and Brit like this too!! Other than that maybe Mandy? I feel like they could relate to each other a little bit, help each other when they're feeling brainweird,, (Mallick n Mandy: havers of Symptoms Disorder <3)

My unpopular opinion about this character: Again I don't know if it's unpopular, persay, but uh. I don't think the Mallick we meet in V would willingly sit and listen to Bobby Dagen in 3D. He'd hate that dude. My take on it is that Brit didn't survive V (although I think read somewhere that the crew confirmed she survived?) and that's why he was there: because he'd lost the one true connection he'd made in god knows how long. That's rlly the only way I see him sitting thru Dagen's bullshit lmao.

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: I wanted him to see Brit again,, and I just wanted to see him more in general tbh, esp because he makes a reappearance where so many prior Jigsaw survivors do not. I would've liked to see him interact with Simone given that they both lost a limb/nearly a limb (in Mallick's case). This is related to that, but I also wish the evidence of the 10 Pints trap wasn't just. A tiny scar? I HC that it took his whole hand, so.

Strahm:

How I feel about this character: Ohhh my beloved. Why didn't they give you a better narrative it would've been SO interesting. I love you though <3

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Honestly? Still super fond of Gibson/Strahm in a scenario where things are different,, I've written quite a bit abt them and kinda want to again but if I do it'll probably be. Not for a while + VASTLY different. but recent additions have been Hoffman (I used to. not understand Stroffman whatsoever. now I Get It) and Adam!!

My non-romantic OTP for this character: PEREZ!!! I've always thought of them as best friends since I first saw IV, and I do think he genuinely cared about her - quite a lot, actually, esp given how devastated he was when she was injured. They hang out at each other's apartments all the time + get coffee regularly. I love them.

My unpopular opinion about this character: I don't think he's a dumbass?? I don't know if that's unpopular. I think that he's IMPULSIVE and that it gets him into trouble, but Strahm has always struck me as incredibly intelligent + has a good moral compass for the most part?? I mean, he figured out there was a second apprentice (second as far as he knows, anyway) helping with traps just by examining Kerry's crime scene. I think he's VERY smart. He just acts quickly + sometimes that means there's not much planning for if things go south. (I DO agree that showing up to the packing plant w/out backup was dumb though,, doesn't mean he DESERVED the Water Cube but y'know)

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: It's not really mentioned if he does in canon, but I wish he'd been made aware of the fact that Perez was alive,, it bothers me that he might've died not knowing she was okay. The other thing is that I wish he'd survived V!!! I think it would've been WAY more narratively satisfying for him to kinda follow in Tapp's footsteps as a vigilante Jigsaw hunter. (That's why I love yr takes on him so much!!)

Rigg:

How I feel about this character: He has such a big heart. He cares so so much. I wish ppl talked about him more :(

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Gibson!!! And uhh Hoffman, but they're exes,, but! In a scenario I'm kind of going over in my head, maaaybe Adam... the basics though is that he searches the Nerve Gas House independently and somehow finds the Bathroom following II, and He is the one to rescue Adam. Very tentative abt that one though bc I'm still working it out lol. (Possibly Eric/Adam/Rigg???)

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Eric!!! His best friend <3 I think he's also pretty close with Kerry, though I think he hangs out w her independent of Eric given,, the messy ex situation. I think he probably got along well with Fisk too!! OH and I think he and Sing would've been good friends as well. The chaos of a Rigg/Gibson/Sing friend trio...

My unpopular opinion about this character: Mmm I don't know that I have one? Other than maybe like. I understood why he went through the door. He knew Eric was on the other side; he just didn't know the circumstances or what would happen if he went through. All he knew was that he was that much closer to someone he's been trying to find/rescue for MONTHS + someone he cares for deeply. Of COURSE he went through. He breaks my heart ugh,,,

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: I wish he hadn't even been tested!!!! His one flaw was that he cared about ppl and somehow John saw that as something he needed to fix!!! Like yes I do agree that it was eating away at him and the obsession might've been unhealthy, but that's two of his closest friends dude!! I don't think he deserved to be tested for that. I don't. He just wanted to help ppl and keep them safe. I absolutely despise how Rigg was treated dkjflkdf!!!!

#saw #eric #adam #william #mallick #strahm #rigg #asks #long post #THANK U I loved getting 2 answer this!!! #+ if anyone else wants 2 send more for different SAW characters I'm still open to these!! #dude I have So Many Feelings abt rigg lately goddd #also I just realized tht this is all my f/os. rigg is a platonic one But Still!!!

[1zashreena1]

Princess Gets A Shot -21

18+, m/f, technically OCxDiego Jimenez [Power]

Summary:  Diego requests backup and then it turns out that backup really was needed. 

WARNINGS: Ridiculous descriptions and ‘the code is more like guidelines’ outlook on grammar. Is it OOC if the character was given essentially zero development in canon???

Gun violence, Soft Murder Panther, the L word, come eating, pussy eating, ass eating, look, everything gets eaten here, Diego being Diego, plus size woman+fit man, actual anal, feeeeeeeels

A/N:  Princess took on a life of her own and has essentially become an OC. There are infrequent mentions of her description (specifically as plus size) and her actual name in later pieces (its Bicki). She started as self-insert so she looks like me (plus size, white, short, blue eyes, curly hair). If that is not your thing, I totally understand. And do not feel obligated to read this, I will not be offended!

I’m not a fan of “plot” so be aware that most of this series is just meandering through their relationship, angst-fluff-smut whiplash style. But with dick jokes.

TAGLIST: @chelsfic​​​ ​ @symbiont13​​​ ​ @nicke0115​​​ ​​ @bunnykjm​​​ ​ @rosee-sensuelle​​​ ​ @girlpornparadise​​​ ​ @mandoplease​​​ ​ @heresathreebee​​​ ​ @xxsteph-enrixx​​​ ​ @jetiikad​​​ ​ @joalsglasses​​​ ​ @mutantcookiesecrets​​​ ​ @demoncatstone​​​ ​ @squidlywiddly87​​​ ​ @lockedoutofmyotherblog​​​ ​ @poeedamerons​​​ ​ @xxidontwikeitxx​​  @kid-from-new-zealand​​ @fleurfatale89​​ @allalngthewtchtower​​

Its 11:52am when you start shutting down your computer this Friday. Coworkers start chuckling and you roll your eyes, you know what's coming next. Tremaine pops around the shared wall of your cubicles to grin manically.

"You have the longest dick appointments ever." She waggles both eyebrows excessively and you laugh.

"Its not a dick appointment. I got a ring, bitch." You flap your left hand around in retort and she giggles madly. Your cell chirps and she makes a stern face.

"You better not be late. I bet he'll withhold punishment!" She cackles and disappears behind the felted wall to your snorts. 

You grab your stuff and pull the phone out of your purse to check the text.

Take your fiancé to work day?

Increasingly, Diego has been giving you more and more access to the business. He uses literal names and real dollar amounts in conversation, its actually a little fascinating how well he manages an outfit so vast. You ask questions and sometimes help him with spreadsheets or schedules. Its all very professional and you love the contrast of how he runs the business versus his reputation. 

Whatever meeting he has tonight must be more social than business if he feels comfortable enough to take you along. You trust Diego and his men to keep you safe.

What's the dress code?

You have an extensive wardrobe now, so some guidance might be helpful.

Typical club

Attached is a picture of a dark, deep, forest green suit.

Your stomach drops and your blood pressure rises. He's gonna look so fucking good.

Uhhhh. Just fucking tell me what you want me to wear

Melted my brain you ridiculous man

Sure, it feeds his ego, but its the truth. He's so hot that sometimes you don't know what to do with yourself.

The gray dress. Black shoes. Got jewelry here for you

…..no panties😛🐈

Aww yiss, you laugh to yourself. 

New bling AND head?????? Goddamn bby

Don't worry, you'll earn it

You don't know if you should be amused or worried. Guess I'll find out.

---------------------------

The new jewelry is a pair of very long sapphire chandelier earrings and a matching anklet. The bright blue sparkles like fire against your fair skin and makes your eyes pop. You've never known another man with such style sense. 

You're standing in front of his dresser mirror admiring the earrings as they brush the top of your cleavage when Diego calls you.

"Come here, Princess. I'll give you a hand." His raspy voice never fails to give you goosebumps. When you turn around Diego is kneeling on the rug holding the anklet. Its not the first time he has helped you dress, but something about it is vaguely suspicious. Those chocolate eyes are too smirky.

You step forward and offer your right foot. While Diego fastens the band of blue stones you stroke over some newly emerging silver at his temples with a fingertip. You're so enamored with the distinguished look that it startles you when his fingers brush your inner thighs. In less than a moment Diego has his hand buried in your crotch, fingers finding your folds, and then the middle sinks into you to the knuckle. 

"Aiiieee!" You yelp, completely unprepared for this development but not exactly surprised. That single finger is hot and thick, he manages to circle your cervix fleetingly. 

"Good girl." Diego purrs.

You involuntarily clench tight even as you glare down at him. 

"The fuck. You couldn't warn me first?" Your snarl is undermined by breathlessness as your hips roll for more. Its infuriating and amazing how quickly this man can wreck you.

"Princess." He chides quietly, "I had to check that you followed my orders like an obedient little girl." He smiles widely, clearly pleased with the both of you. Your heart trips and you curl fingers over his shoulder for balance as the heel of his palm grinds your clit. He goes on tauntingly, "Don't show this pretty pussy to anyone else tonight and you'll get a very big reward."

"Asshole. Fuck you." You moan. The dual stimulation is winding you up quickly. You gasp with disappointment when Diego pulls his hand away but it turns into a whine as you watch him suck your flavor off of his own digit. 

He pulls the middle finger out of his mouth with a pop. "You will."

------------------------

The club is packed but some lackey already has a VIP booth ready for Mr. Jimenez. A huge hand lands on your lower back to usher you along, its a very couple-y move. When you sink into the plush seating Diego sits practically on top of you and wraps an arm around your shoulders. Something is definitely up here.

"So, you wanna tell me what's going on tonight?" You whisper, face buried in his neck to ensure you can be heard over the music. 

Diego orders drinks, you're sure its something nasty for him and fruity for you, before turning your way. The hand on your shoulder is petting you.

"I have a new distributor as part of the side deal terms. I cannot shoot her without ruining the deal and we need this deal. But she doesn't take no for an answer. And while I respect her ambition, it is becoming… problematic." Diego scans the club as he speaks, decidedly not looking at you. 

Oh really?

"Diego Jimenez. Are you uncomfortable with a woman hitting on you??" You ask incredulously. You're trying not to laugh because he clearly is. 

Diego turns to glare down at you and if you were anyone else it would have the intended effect. You just smile beautifically. 

"I gave you my word, did I not?" Diego huffs dramatically and glances down at your ring. Oh, baby. "And I don't like her." He shudders.

"I trust you, Diego. I wouldn't have said yes if I didn't." You intone gently. Whatever your man needs, you'll do your best to give it to him. 

"Good. Now be possessive. She seems to respect women more than men. And I am not bringing my sister into this, it is ours." Diego mutters as he spots a small group of women coming in from the back. Ours? Without Alicia?? That really means behind her back. Diego, what are you doing?

You lean back casually and cross your legs. If Diego wants a calmly confident woman to belong to, then that is what he'll get.

Julio lets the tall, muscular woman in front lead the group into the booth where they sit across from you. She looks Diego up and down boldly, then licks her lips. You laugh outright and it draws her attention. 

"I'm Liz. And you are…?" She leans forward to assess you. Its supposed to be intimidating but you're unconcerned. Her brown eyes are sharp, they alight on your ring as you sip your drink lazily.

"Princess." You smile without it meeting your eyes, its the icy one you reserve for frenemies and men you would enjoy hurting. Liz cocks her head and blinks, you've managed to surprise her.

"So the rumors are true. Didn't peg you as the type to settle down." You can feel Diego stiffen next to you with her reply as she turns back to him. You want to hate her, you really do, but that was a good one. That feeling remedies itself with her next words, "Although. That is more, a lot more, than I would have expected." She gauges your body and sniffs in disapproval. 

The jab at your size isn't new. Or particularly innovative either. While you're certainly not amused, Diego, on the other hand, has become deathly still. You transfer the drink to your right hand and slide the left over his thigh so your fingertips slip between his legs. He is like a statue under you, so incredibly tense. 

"Nothing he can't handle." You sleaze, arching a brow at her flat chest. Gradually, Diego eases while Liz snorts and rolls her eyes.

"How did you do?" Diego drawls, leaning forward to rest elbows on his knees without displacing your grip. Its a casual display of his comfort with you touching him. 

"Its all spoken for. I need another load plus thirty percent. Baltimore is hungry." Liz decides to ignore you entirely. Victory. 

"I'll give you twenty-five, you'll give me ten percent more of the profit." Diego continues without her agreement, "You're ambitious, but don't bite off more than you can chew." He dismisses Liz with a wave and you can tell that irritates her. 

"Oh, don't worry, I don't bite the pretty ones." She is smarmy and leering. She doesn't even have any style.

"How boring." You purse your lips and look unimpressed. 

"Sí. Truly." Diego huffs as he adjusts his jacket to settle back into the cushions, and further into your side. He crosses an ankle over his knee and smiles into your hair. You maintain eye contact with a silently seething Liz as she rises to leave with her girls. 

Licking your lips, you slide your hand higher until you're cupping Diego through his pants and squeeze gently. Her eyes widen, then narrow with his relaxing posture as Diego melts into your public groping. She stomps off and the girls follow, one looking over her shoulder to watch you two hungrily. Something about the girl looks familiar but you can't place it.

You wait until they fade into the crowd, then turn to Diego….

Who is slouching blissfully with your dick massage. The sight makes you laugh, its adorable in a kinky way. He smiles slowly, obviously pleased with your performance. 

"Perfect little Princess. You are a very good Bad Girl." Diego praises you with a low rumble. He really does look so good in this new suit. His gray shirt matches your dress, he picked it specifically to look like a matched set. A subtle sign of your status together. You're leaning in for a kiss when you hear a muffled popping sound.

Diego lurches forward to crush you to his chest and you can feel Julio at your back suddenly.

Its gunfire.

Julio picks you up around the waist and hauls you over Diego’s head and the back of the sofa to go over the railing and into Bastian's waiting hands. Diego pushes your weight up with him, then dives over, too. Bastian is dragging you toward a hallway by the time you register the location change. Your head whips around to locate Diego, left hand reaching out for him. Diego takes two huge strides to press up against you, Julio is on his back. 

Another round of shots echoes in the club as people scream and panic. Its chaos, you can't tell where the bullets are coming from in your adrenaline rush and the enclosed space.

"Go, go now!" The gravelly command lengthens Bastian's strides until you pop out a side door into an alley. Manuela is outside, waving you to the Escalade. Bastian releases you to go around to the driver's side and Diego pushes you forward. You get the back door open just in time for Diego to shove you again so you land on the floor. Curling up, you give them room to climb in, too. Diego slides into the seat above you and covers you with his body, Julio layers on top of your fiancé and slams the door. Gunfire pops off outside in the alley, far too close for comfort. Manuela is still getting in the front when Bastian tears off.

"What the fuck!" You yelp angrily. As the SUV turns out of the alley, Diego tucks your head down further and Manuela returns fire. More shots plunk into the bulletproof body of the Escalade above your head and the window on the other side shatters to rain glass down over Julio. Diego growls ferociously and you reach back to grab his collar while hissing, "Stay down!"

You're not losing him. You refuse. 

"Everyone's behind us, full coverage! Two more blocks and we're out, boss!" Bastian hollers as he weaves through traffic. 

You keep your grip on Diego. Nothing happens for another few minutes, then Bastian whips around a corner and into the underground garage. You recognize it from the road noise and so does Diego, he sags onto you. The car screeches to a halt and everyone starts pouring out. Julio slides out the passenger side behind you and Diego crawls over you to open the door above your head and tumble out.

You lay there for a minute, shaking. Looking up reveals his men receiving orders and Manuela reloading. A large number of cartel members are guarding the closed garage door and more are headed upstairs to sweep the penthouse. 

Slowly, you climb out, unnoticed in the commotion. You take stock of the damage, dozens of holes and indentations mar the black bodywork. Some are right where your head was. Too close.

It enrages you.

"AhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" You scream at maximum volume and kick the door shut with enough force to rock the heavy vehicle. The heel of your shoe snaps off to remain embedded in the metal. The garage echoes your fury and nothing else as it fades to silence.

You whip around to face Diego and his men. Everyone is frozen in place, not a single muscle tics. Your fiancé is staring at you with huge eyes.

"Kill. Her." You growl. Your shoes get ripped off and flung away with extreme force. Your voice is wrecked from the berserker scream, you sound demonic as you stalk up to him and grab his shirt. "Kill. Her!" You repeat at a higher volume. Diego squints down at you in obvious concern.

"Do you think the shooting started right after she left BY ACCIDENT?!?" You are heedless of your audience, caring only for Diego's attention. Big hands come up to your forearms, trying to calm you against your will. He watches you closely as you pant, you know your face is red because you can hear your own pulse. You go to break away and his grip turns to steel. Diego slams you back against the door you kicked closed and pins you to the ruined metal by your wrists and hips.

Your anger morphs into fear which then fades into arousal as you feel the raw power of his body, Diego is holding your wrists so tightly it hurts. Quaking, you slowly look up to meet his eyes. The bearded jaw is tense, a muscle in his cheek jumps, and his eyes are burning. But it isn't rage you see in that smolder.

"Leave us. Now!" Diego barks ferociously. Underlings scatter but your attention is captured by the powerful man you agreed to marry. He leans in close, stealing your breath, to whisper, "If I bring her to you, will you do it?"

Will you? Would you really kill somebody?

They tried to kill me.

"Yes, baby." Your voice is low but even. Your nerves may be shattered but your resolve is solid.

Diego moans roughly, his face screwed up in a flood of emotions, then dives down to take your mouth. You open wide but can do nothing else. Body limp in his hold, you don't even want to do anything. His tongue slides on yours and he tastes like dark liquor and desperation. The beard rubs your sensitive skin raw as your mouth is seized, it ignites a fire so hot that you rub your thighs together pathetically. Diego is the only person to whom you have ever wanted to just submit. 

The level of trust you place in this man is monumental.

He releases your hands and steps back decisively. The sudden lack of support makes you stumble before catching yourself with a hold in his shirt. You blink dazedly, "Wha??"

Diego grips the back of your neck and steers you to the elevator. The doors open and Julio steps out with an appraising look.

"All clear. Bastian stayed upstairs, I'll take over down here. Gordita." He nods to you affectionately.

"Thank you." Your gratitude is deep and Julio smiles softly. Diego pulls you into the elevator and jabs the door close button. When you turn around to look at him you can see his big body shaking faintly.

"Baby." You breathe and reach for him. Diego allows you to fold him down into your embrace and winds those long arms around you. Its not often that Diego requires reassurance or displays contrition.

"This is my fault, Princess. And I will fix it." The dark voice in your ear is dripping with danger. Your stroke over his hair while he nuzzles into your neck, those huge hands tight on your waist.

"You didn't know. I think I was the target the whole time, despite being virtually unknown. And I agreed to come, if I had declined you wouldn't have pushed me." You squeeze his broad shoulders and kiss his jaw. 

"You could have died." He whispers softly. There is real fear in his voice, his defeated posture. It breaks your heart when he croaks, "I cannot lose you."

"But I didn't. You protected me, like I trust you to do. And I could die at any time. Car crashes, freak accidents, medical emergencies, anything could happen." You reason logically. Its probably not helpful in this moment, but its just how you are.

"Fine. Fair. Now stop." Diego mutters, not pleased with your sensibility. "I misjudged. It won't happen again."

You bury your nose in his shirt to inhale, his scent calms your nerves. "I broke a shoe. It probably will happen again."

Diego absolutely loses it and collapses onto you. His rasping howls of laughter are endearing and you giggle with him. His weight makes you hunch over a bit and your cleavage jiggles with his convulsions. Diego buries his face in your ample bust and continues laughing madly. 

When the elevator opens to Bastian's anxious face he just shakes his head at how weird you two are. 

------------------------

Your laughter dissolves into tears the instant you cross the threshold to the bedroom. The adrenaline is bleeding away and you feel numb. Your hands shake so badly that you can't get undressed. Stumbling into the bathroom, you stand in the middle of the room crying against your will while Diego starts the shower. He pops out from behind the clear divider wall and strides right up to you, dripping wet and uncaring. 

"Princess." He sighs deeply and strips the dress up over your head, dropping it to the floor. Your hands stroke over his gleaming chest, reminding yourself that he's okay, Diego is whole and unharmed. You lean your forehead on his chest and sigh as he unhooks your bra, it drops to the floor at your feet and Diego goes to kick it away… only for the strap to get caught on his toes, forcing him to flick his foot in ever more violent movements until the offending garment is flung off through the doorway and into the bedroom.

"Fucking bras." He mutters angrily. 

Your peals of laughter echo in the tiled room. 

"Remember what I said about the adrenaline mix being different when we used the handcuffs?" Your speech pattern is stilted from your jaw shaking violently. Diego's big hands come up to cup your breasts, thumbs rubbing back and forth over your nipples hypnotically. Gradually, slowly, your body melts into him, his bigger frame taking your weight with ease. Your voice is even choppier this time, "I'll adj-j-just."

"I know you will, Princess." Diego murmurs into your hair. Nipples now pebbled from the gentle torture, he moves on to new territory, specifically your ass. Diego grips huge handfuls of squishy flesh and kneads, lifting you to your toes. You moan into his chest, rubbing your skin on his. Backing up, he pulls you along with him, "Here, come."

Bracing your hands on those magnificent biceps, you let your fiancé manhandle you (mostly) softly. Diego backs into the shower and you're swept along with him. His hands glide higher, over your waist to settle around your upper abdomen just under your chest, and then he lifts. 

"Eep!" Your tiny squawk is met with a husky chuckle as Diego perches you on the seat in the back of the shower. The tile isn't slippery with condensation yet and you're still too short to hit the high ceiling, so you can stand easily. Conveniently, Diego's face is just above your crotch. 

"Turn around." He rumbles. The dark eyes looking up at you are black with hunger. Diego licks his lips obscenely and you whine with want. You have no idea what he's going to do and you want it desperately. The tile is cold on your nipples and you shiver violently. "Now be a good girl and show Diego that pussy."

Its been well over a year, mutual confessions of love, international travel, an engagement ring, and he can still flame your face and melt you with mere words. Your feet spread automatically and you sink your back to poke your ass out. Heat washes over your core and you realize that Diego is inhaling your scent. His groan of pleasure makes you drip. Huge hands climb your inner thighs to pull your pussy wide open to his inspection. 

Its both humiliating and excruciatingly exciting to be in this position, precarious enough that you're cautious about moving, completely exposed, all you can really do is take whatever he gives you. One large finger bumps your clit minutely and you squeak, then he uses two fingers placed on either side to retract your hood. The direct pressure of tiny circles on your clit is electrifying, but the addition of a hot tongue leisurely lapping over your entrance liquefies your knees. You're so wet that its audible over the sound of the shower.

"Baby…" You sound like a phone sex operator and it bolsters your courage a tiny bit. "Fuck, I love your tongue."

"Mmmm." Diego's growl is almost sensory overload. He licks every inch he can reach while never faltering on your clit. You can feel his nose sliding between your cheeks and it is enticing. You must have quivered if his next words are any indication, "I'll take this fat ass, too, little girl."

And he does. His right hand spreads you wide and he licks up over your asshole, the beard scrapes your pussy deliciously raw as you keen wordlessly. Diego dives back down to spread your slick higher with each lap. The textural contrasts are driving you insane. That sinful tongue presses into you with each pass, deeper and deeper until the tip dips inside. 

Everything fades away for a moment and the only thing you know is Diego between your legs. He moans and presses further, it feels indescribable. You’ve tried anal before with fingers, it was uncomfortable and did nothing for your orgasm. This feels completely different. Your hands flail, then the left reaches behind you to thread fingers into his hair. The engagement ring catches and pulls a little, making Diego jerk and sigh. Fucker has a commitment kink, the thought makes you choke.

The growl from behind you rolls up your spine and directly into your brain. Diego changes tactics to reach around your front and rub your clit the same way you do, but never stops fucking your ass with his tongue.

"I want," you whine into the wall, hips jerking. Diego rubs the goatee harder. You suck in a shuddering breath, "Wanna come. With some part of, of you. Fuck! Inside me. In-inside. Please." Your plea is met with an appreciative rumble that makes your eyes roll back. Your begging continues, "Anything, fuck, baby, please. Please please."

Diego pulls back to sink teeth into the left globe of your ass. Your yelp is muffled, but still ridiculously high pitched. He pets over your posterior, then you feel slippery fingers where the tongue was only moments ago. 

"That can be arranged, Princess. Anything...huh? What about anywhere?" His breathless taunt gives you pause. One well lubed finger presses against your rear and you truly do want it. You already feel loose and pliant, buzzing with endorphins. Swallowing hard, you nod tightly.

"Yeah." The tiny squeak of submission makes your predator practically vibrate. Diego pushes gently, you can feel the slick of lubricant, both natural and artificial, everywhere. The pressure pulses gently, each push just a tiny bit more intrusive, until the tip of his finger is inside your ass. 

"Fuck, bonita. Such a good little Princess." The rough praise only loosens you further, but you squirm with the new and odd sensations. "So tight," he continues with a groan, "You let Diego fuck this fat ass? Huh? Take it like a good girl?"

"Yeah, yeah. Oh my god, fuck." At this point you might agree to anything as long as he makes you come. Your back sags further and you gasp as his thick finger sinks in to the knuckle. Its a lot and you freeze for a moment. Diego holds steady, letting you breathe and assess. When no protest occurs to you, he resumes rubbing your clit and Oh holy fuckin' shit.

You know its only one finger, but he feels huge to your inexperienced body. Full and stretched, not in pain, necessarily, but you can't say its comfortable, precisely. What you can say is that it drives you wild to be pinned to the wall and pleasured almost forcefully. Your entire pelvis is trembling tautly, you can feel the orgasm welling up, building ever higher. Tears escape and your mouth goes without your consent. "Please, oh fuck. Pleasepleaseplease, yeah baby. Yeah. I want it. I want." 

"Pretty Princess. Go on. Come for Diego while he fucks both your holes." The finger in your ass rotates as he repositions his hand, there's a brush of contact to your folds, and then, Fuuuuuck, then two fingers slide home in your pussy.

Your entire consciousness collapses down to your core and then snaps. Waves of contractions so strong that they make your abdomen spasm wash over you. You clamp down on every part of him that's inside you and wail. The ecstasy is only compounded by your every sense being overfilled with Diego.

"Yes, mi amor. Come for me. Come all over your Diego." The possessive tone is gratifying as Diego rides you out. Your legs shake, then buckle, your upper ass lands on his broad shoulder and Diego is quick to extract his right hand. The feeling of his finger withdrawing rapidly is intensely weird. The left hand abandons your clit to catch you in the chest, allowing your limp form to slide down his front. His hard cock leaves a sticky trail up your asscrack before it comes to rest poking into your lower back. Your legs are still wobbly and you hang onto his thick forearm for balance.

"Oh god. What the fuck. What. The. Fuck." You ramble. Did I really just come with his finger up my ass??

"Bend over." The strained rumble comes as Diego is lowering your hands to the bench, folding you in half. You teeter briefly, but manage to keep your balance. Diego grips your hips sternly and thrusts his dick between your cheeks.

"Uhh, what. You're not gonna, I don't think I can take-" 

"Relax." Diego chuckles, but it is definitely strained. Those big hands squeeze meaningfully when you lean away tensely. Diego continues thrusting in long, lazy strokes as he growls, "Come on your back. Wanna see this pretty ass covered in my come."

Oh. Okay then. Your brain is too scrambled to be concerned. It only takes a dozen or so strokes before Diego is snarling and snapping behind you, painting your butt and back white. 

"Ahhh, yesss. My good girl. Perfect little Princess." He slaps your ass to produce a jiggle and you crash forward into the wall. Diego flops onto the bench beside you and pulls your cooked spaghetti form into his lap. His come smears between your back and his front, Eww.

You start giggling again. 

"Now what?" Diego asks wryly. He's limp beneath you, that big body twitching periodically. You take in his huge feet below your dangling ones, his long legs melted under your weight. The broad chest rises and falls rapidly, it jostles you gently, he's still recovering. His scratchy chin lands on your right shoulder and Diego lolls his face into your hair. Your fingers lace with his and rest on your rounded belly.

"You're so nasty." You chortle. "I fuckin' love it."

#damnit diego #murder panther #rough me up then dick me down #24 fucking 7 hours in this house #zash writes #lick all the things

[anotheronechicagobog]

The Crackship Sails to Molly’s Natalie Manning x Stella Kidd

written by @anotheronechicagobog​

warnings: swearing, mention of homophobia, Manning isn’t Nat’s maiden name, she changed it when she got married, just saying, Helen’s kindof a bitch, canon compliant accidents, implied artificial insemination, implied/mentioned smut

They had absolutely no idea how they ended up there. Well, that wasn’t strictly true... Molly’s and ladies’ nights. And tequila, tequila was definitely at fault here. For their hangovers and their nudity under the covers. Unfortunately, the tequila didn’t take their memories, so they knew exactly what they did. Or who they did, rather. And the answer was each other.

After Natalie’s awkward exit from Stella’s apartment above the Hermann house, Stella made quick work of the dirty dishes from their breakfast. She couldn’t help but think back to the previous night. They were so drunk, but Natalie was so hot and Stella just felt something inside her snap. It had felt like a coil, but everything that she and Nat did last night, it all just felt so right, so satisfying. She felt like she was on a high. There was no way she was going to last long without having sex with Natalie again, she could already feel herself going crazy.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As it turned out, she wasn’t the only one feeling that way. And so, their friends with benefits relationship began. Stella was a bit nervous, she had a two-year-old son and a pretty crazy mother in law. But it felt so right. Until it felt more than right, and both women knew they were in trouble. It started with cuddling after sex and lead to watching movies in the afternoon and lingering touches and longing looks. But one rainy Sunday afternoon, they were cuddled on Natalie’s brand new GRÖNLID, and suddenly it just hit both of them. They were dating, in secret, but dating. Natalie licked her lips and looked Stella in the eye. “Will you go on a date with me?” Stella cradled her face gingerly, placing a soft kiss on her lips. “I would love to.”

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It became obvious to Helen very quickly that Natalie was seeing someone, and the thought made her stomach heavy. She knew it wasn’t fair of her to hate the idea of Natalie moving on, but she couldn’t help it. She only had one son. She only wanted one son. And he was gone.

So when Owen was picked up by someone else while Natalie was at work, months after Helen knew she had officially begun dating him, Helen lost it. Her mouth turned bitter as she drove to the hospital, fully prepared to scream at her daughter-in-law in front of her coworkers. When she got to MED she barely remembered to throw her car in park before slamming the door and marching past everyone. The people waiting, nurses, secretaries, the only one who was able to stop her was Maggie. “Helen, hi. How are you? You know you can’t be back here right?”

“I’m here to see Natalie, move.”

“Okay, no. You do not get to speak to me like that ever, much less so in my ED. Drop the attitude. Now.”

“It’s too soon, Maggie, it’s only been-”

“Four years. It has been four years Helen, I’m not going to pretend I know what you’re going through, but I know that it is absolutely no excuse for acting the way you are. You are not entitled to Natalie’s love life, and you still haven’t apologized to me. And since you’re not in an emergency medical situation and I do not feel like dealing with your BS right now, you need to leave.”

“Maggie you can’t-”

“I’ll call security.”

“Don’t interfere with something that-”

“Security, escort this woman off the premises, please and thank you.” The two security guards Maggie had summoned with a raised eyebrow ended up dragging Helen out kicking and screaming. All while Natalie watched in heartbreak. Was it really that awful that she didn’t want to be alone and empty for the rest of her life?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Because of the incident at MED Nat and Stella decided it was time to sit Helen down and tell her that they were dating and to get over herself. Helen entered in a huff, somewhat pleased with herself that she finally got Natalie to admit she was seeing someone, but she would be lying her ass off if she said she wouldn’t give whoever this guy was shit for sneaking around with a widow. She didn’t see him though, only a Latina woman in a mustard sweater and jeans. “Alright, where is he?”

“Sit down Helen, you don’t’ get to talk to me that way.” Helen threw herself down onto the same chair she’d tossed her jacket and purse on while Natalie sat beside the woman on the light green couch. Helen felt all her rage and grief evaporate as she watched the two women intertwined hands. “I’m bisexual, Helen. So is Stella. I didn’t figure it out really until I met her. I guess a part of me always knew but I kind of ignored it, because, well, you know how people discriminate against LGBTQ people. But, she makes me so, so happy. And Owen just loves her.”

“Oh thank God.”

“Huh?”

“What?”

“Oh, I don’t care about sexualities, really. Love is love and anyone who tries to limit the love of others is a fool and a monster. Truthfully, this is a relief. I was so scared that you’d found a man to replace Jeff. You dating a woman is actually a lot more comfortable for me. I already approve.”

“While I’m glad Stella’s got your stamp of approval, you have to understand that your behaviour recently is unacceptable, right? You are not entitled to anything, and you owe both me and Maggie apologies.”

“You’re... Right. Completely right. There isn’t an excuse or a reason, not a good one anyway. I’m so sorry Natalie. Really, I am... That... That psychiatrist you work with, Dr. Charles, does he, uh, is he accepting patients? I think, I mean I’ve put it off for so long, I think it’s time that I talk to someone. About everything.”

“That sounds like a good idea, Helen, I’ll talk to him tomorrow for you.”

“Thank you. Now Stella, you’ve been very quiet during all this, I’d like to get to know you. What do you do?- Oh! And how long have you two been dating?”

“I’m a firefighter, and we’ve been dating for- eight months?”

“Around that, yeah.”

“That’s wonderful, how do you like being a firefighter?”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After Helen apologized to everyone and started therapy, things got much calmer. She also became Stella and Natalie’s biggest supporter. Like tonight, she was always offering to babysit for date nights, and the couple took full advantage of that. They were dining out at an intimate restaurant, glad for some time with just the two of them. “So I read this story on Reddit on my break today about this guy who, completely sober, was shoving a toilet brush up his... You know, so that it looked like he had a bunny tail. You guys ever get anything crazy like that?”

“Yeah actually, we’ve got this frequent flyer for ambo who regularly gets high off his ass, draws weird, nonsensical symbols all over his body, then call to complain that he was assaulted by aliens.”

“Damn.”

“Yeah, hey, I found The Italian Job on Netflix, the one with Jason Statham. Wanna watch it when we get back?”

“Oh, absolutely. I love his movies.”

“I know right?”

“He’s like the British Ryan Reynolds.”

“Yes! Exactly!”

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TWO YEARS LATER

Stella was just finishing up with the snacks for Owen’s fifth birthday party when the Hermann Horde arrived. “Hey guys! Nat’s just about done with the decorations, but she and Owen are out back.”

“When does Helen get here?”

“She should be here in fifteen, she picked up the cake from the bakery.”

“I thought you were a pretty good baker Stella, why from a bakery?”

“I can bake many things, but a cake for forty people that looks like a shark? Nope. Not that.”

“Owen really likes the ocean, doesn’t he?” Cindy looked around at all the ocean-themed decorations, the snacks dressed up to look like different sea creatures. “He really does, can’t say I blame him though. We go to the aquarium pretty frequently, and damn these little guys are amazing and beautiful.” The placed the last of the jellyfish sugar cookies on the platter and smiled. She really felt like Owen was her son, and as far as anyone was concerned, she was. It would even be official in a couple of months when she and Nat get married. “I love seeing you happy like this Stella.”

“Thanks, Cindy. It feels good.”

“It looks good too, you’re both just so bright and sometimes I swear that Natalie’s glowing.” Stella kissed the older woman on the cheek, biting her lip to keep from revealing that Natalie was glowing, and that they’d be welcoming another member into their family in around eight months.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

TWO MONTHS LATER

Natalie and Stella were overjoyed, they were finally wife and wife, recognized by the state as a family. Hearts full and warm, they danced in slow graceful circles, the skirts of both their gowns flowing in cloud-like motions around them. “I love you.”

“I love you too. So much.” The music from the orchestra trickled to an end, parting the smiling brides. “Ready to tell them?”

“Yes. I am so excited.” Kisses were exchanged before the blushing brides made their way up to the stage with their arms around each others’ waist. “First of all, we would like to thank everyone for being here to celebrate the best day of our lives.”

“Second of all, we have an announcement to make. Nat’s three months pregnant.” Stella and Natalie placed their hands over Nat’s abdomen, smiling misty tears as they were met with cheers from all of their family and friends, no one louder than Owen.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

FIVE YEARS LATER

While working in the ED Natalie had been a witness to numerous tragedies. She’d also been through a few herself. And Maggie, wise, gentle, loving, Maggie, always knew when the worst of the worst were about to come through. She got this look on her face as she answered the head nurse phone, meaning that it was someone they all knew. After a few whispered words with Ms. Goodwin Maggie’s guilt-ridden gaze settle on Natalie. “Nat, I need you to go wait in the doctor’s lounge.”

“Maggie? What’s going on?” In the back of her mind, in the depths of her heart, Natalie knew what was wrong. But she didn’t want to be right. She wanted to be so, so wrong. “Dr. Conte,” Natalie had realized two months into her and Stella’s relationship that she still had the name she took when she married Jeff at twenty years old and decided to go back to her maiden name. “You need to go wait in the doctor’s lounge.”

“Sharon, no-”

“Incoming! Thirty-three year old female, firefighter, inside an electrical fire when the house went. Halstead, Noah, April, you’re in treatment three.” The sounds of beeps and medical jargon couldn’t be heard above the buzzing in Natalie’s ears. Choi was holding her back, trying to drag her to the doctor’s lounge, stopping her from being with her wife. And then her BP dropped and she flatlined. The instructions given could not be heard by anyone outside of the room over Natalie’s horrified, deafening, soul-shattering scream.

And then it was back. One round of epi and she was back. Natalie broke down into heaving, gut-wrenching sobs in Ethan’s arms. He was the only thing keeping her from sliding to the floor, her legs had lost all their strength.

She didn’t remember sitting down, or getting any water or food. But suddenly she feels like she’s woken up and she has a bottle of water and thermos in her hands. “Eat.” Kelly Severide is beside her with a hand on her shoulder. Sylvie is handing her a spoon. Joe is handing her tissues. “Cindy and Helen are watching Owen and Celeste, don’t worry.” She’s drunk the entire water bottle and eaten five spoonful of soup when Maggie approaches her. “Maggie don’t tell me she’s gone- oh God, please no-”

“She’s fine. They’re closing her up now, she’ll recover just fine. Come on, I’ll take you to her recovery room. And bring that thermos. You’re going to finish eating even if I have to tie you down and feed you myself.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Nat?” Stella had woken up, for good this time, and was staring at the love of her life as Connor and Crockett left the room. “You scared me. So, so much.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, just be alive. Please, just stay alive.” Nat kissed her forehead and stroked her hair as all her tears just couldn’t be held back anymore. “I know you love being a firefighter, and I love it too, I will never want you to give up a job that you are so kickass at, but please, please be more careful. I’m begging you.”

“Okay... I’ll be more careful.” Stella’s coughing fit was cured by a glass of water, and the aches in her bones were cured by the gentle hugs from her son and daughter when they saw her an hour later. “I love you.” She chanted to each of them. “I love you, I love you, I love you.” And she did, until she and Natalie were in their eighties and living in Fowlerton. They were found by their neighbour who went to check on them after he didn’t see them on their porch like he did every morning. Stll. Peaceful. Tangled together. In love until their very last breaths.

#One Chicago #Chicago Fire #chicago med #Natalie Manning #stella kidd #natalie manning x stella kidd

[wherearemyglassesbro]

The DNR au executions in order ✨ Dont read if it’ll make you uncomfortable :)

Murder #1: Alfred Jones is the first to kill. He’s overcome with the feeling of helplessness and can’t mentally handle being there. When Kumakuma gave everyone their first disguised motive, Alfred was pushed over the edge. His ‘motivation tape’ was a video of his parents’ farmhouse burning. It still isn’t clear if it was faked or real but that video hit Alfred like a ton of bricks. He kept up his cheery facade and decided to wait to make his move despite being desperate. He watched his classmates closely, just waiting to see weakness in them. He wouldnt go after a girl or someone bigger than him...He finally decided on Kiku. He was soft spoken and kept to himself so....He’d be easy to get to!! Around 3am, Alfred snuck out of his room and down the hall, knocking on Kiku’s door “Hey buddy uh....Look man I’m having trouble sleeping and I wanted to walk around a bit. Would you come with me? I don’t think it’s safe to walk around alone and I trust you”. Kiku is flattered and he agrees to walk around with Al. Little does he know, Alfred’s got a kitchen knife tucked into his jacket. They walk and walk, Alfreds getting fidgety. Kiku’s confused by his behavior but he understands that this place can make you feel jittery. They arrive at the second floor gate “Ok Alfred-san I think we should head back from here. I’m pretty tired, arent you-?” Alfred throws him against the gate, knocking the wind out of him which gives Al enough time to retrieve his knife and bury it into Kiku’s chest “I-I’m so sorry....I’m so fucking sorry...I don’t want this...I didn’t want to have to do this...But I need to get out of here....” he arranged Kiku’s body to make it look like he stabbed himself and runs away. Halfway back to his room he realizes that his shoes are bloody!! Shit!! So he takes them off to run the rest of the way back in his socks. He washes off his shoes and wears that same pair the next morning when everyone meets up for breakfast. Everyone realized that Kiku was gone way faste than Al expected and they split up into two groups to go find him......”Ding dong dong ding”....”A body has been discovered!!” And it begins.

Execution #1: Cannonball. Alfred Jones has been found guilty! Time for his punishment! His punishment for killing The Ultimate Gamer, Kiku Honda, is one final stunt! One exclusive show for his classmates! He’s the first to go so everybody buckle up! Alfred is stuffed into a Monokuma cannon! Wowie! The cannon is aimed at a huge target allllll the way across the room. The target is about a football field away. The canon starts to rumble...it gets louder and louder...Everyones freaking out!! And then, the floor opens! And Alfred is shot into a murky pool full of piranhas! Canonball!! His classmates are forced to stand and watch until there’s nothing left of their friend.

Murder #2: Tension rises after Alfred’s trial and execution because that was everyone’s brutal wake up call. This is very real. This is a game theyre forced to play. Kumakuma provides another motive only hours after the trial, calling everyone to the gym to present a stack of money! 20 million dollars to be exact! This is supposed to bribe the greedy ones into killing. Luciana Vargas begins to get cocky. She and Natalya start fighting. And I mean fighting. They scream, throw shit, all that! The others have to intervene most of the time too. It’s getting out of hand. And Nat can’t take it anymore!! Luciana likes to do her laundry at night so Natalya sneaks up on her...very quiet...She’s not wearing shoes, not even breathing as she approaches. And it’s all to easy. She snatched up a scarf and threw it around Luciana’s neck, brutally strangling her and whispering in her ear as she took her final breaths “You bitch...you slimy, nasty, fucking whore...I hate you...I hate you I hate you! I feel no remorse...You snake...You evil, cocky bitch...” The last thing Luciana sees is Natalya’s smiling face. Once she’s dead, Nat stuffs Luciana’s corpse into the washing machine and leaves. It takes three days for her to be discovered....Ding dong dong sing....and when she is, she’s discovered by Michelle of all people. Michelle faints and hits her head super hard on the ground, which makes this an even bigger ordeal. Everyone suspects Nat from the start since the two were fighting so much and the evidence all leads to her anyway. Luciana managed to rip out a few of Nat’s hairs so those were found at the scene....

Execution #2: Eye Of The Beholder. Natalya Braginskya has been found guilty! Time for her punishment! Her punishment for killing The Ultimate Designer, Luciana Vargas, is to face off against 10,000 bees! Natalya is placed in a giant glass bubble which is teetering on a ledge shaped like a hand. Bees are quickly pumped into the sphere! As Natalya struggles while shes being brutally stung, she makes the glass ball shift too much! And in doing so, she and the bees fall to their deaths, the glass ball crashing into the floor 4 stories below! She was beautiful! And her death made sure she would no longer be. Or...no longer...’bee’

Murder #3: it’s almost three weeks after Nat’s trial and none of the motives are working. Kumakuma has presented six motives and everyone has decided to stick to their friedship. That just won’t do. Kumakuma then decides to dig deep into everyone’s pasts, finding their darkest secrets. He slips a folder under everyone’s door...The secrets cause Francis to snap. He can’t take this anymore. Kumakuma is going to release his darkest secrets to the media in 48 hours if someone doesn’t kill. Oh god oh god oh no...Francis’s folder if full of secrets. He slept with a director, gave another actor food poisoning to take his role, drove over a coworker’s leg with a gold cart so they couldn’t perform, all sorts of awful things that he did to secure his career. Things that his poor mother didn’t know. That his sister didn’t know. No one was supposed to know any of this but...him. He couldn’t allow this to get out! This would wreck his family!!! He calmed himself down enough to draft a plan. He wrote out his entire murder plan from start to finish. It was foolproof. (Spoiler alert, it wasn’t). He caught Arthur in the hall as everyone was heading off to their rooms after dinner and guided him away where no one would see, sneaking him into the bath house. It was all coming together...This was going to work...Francis is the ultimate actor of course! He’s been working on Arthur from day one, flirting with him and being nice. He had a feeling that Arthur’s loyalty would come in handy!! Now it was time to put him to use. He and Art stripped and got in the hot tub, Fran made conversation and then offered to wash Art’s hair. Of course Art complied....Then Francis did what he had to do. He shoved Art’s head underwater and held him there. Art put up a good fight, he screamed and fought hard but in the end, Fran was just stronger and heavier so when he finally managed to sit on his head, it was all over for him. Francis didn’t bother arranging the body, he dried himself off and left the scene. He was very stealthy about his exit and he took the long way back to his room just to be sure. His downfall? He smelled like the soap from the bathhouse. That soap is only in the bathhouse. That was the one detail that got him. And when that detail was discovered, his cool facade started breaking, he’d never been so nervous before and even as the ultimate actor, he couldn’t mask his guilt forever.

Execution #3: The Stage Of Kings. Francis Bonnefoy has been found guilty! Time for his punishment! His punishment for killing The Ultimate Mathlete, Arthur Kirkland, is to put on one final performance! Francis is strapped into a chair in the middle of an ornate stage. He’s dressed as a king with the whole garb and crown. Above him are three chandeliers, one falls and hits the stage on either side of him, scaring the crap outta him and the final one lowers down....lowers down...until it’s right over his chair. And then BOOM!!! In one horrific movement, the chandelier falls on top of him and explodes!! BA BAM!! To signify the end of the performance, black and red rose petals fall from the ceiling and into the viewing area where the other students are and applause plays from the speakers.

Murder #4: Another motive has been presented. This motive is success. ‘If you kill someone and graduate, you’ll be guaranteed even more success than before. Your name will be everywhere, you’ll get many interviews and all kinds of publicity! Media coverage beyond your wildest dreams!!’. This sparked something in Berwald. Berwald has always been the rock of the group. He’s emotionally detached, intelligent and strong. He did very little in the actual trials but if he thought someone was wrong he’d say so. Berwald thought that he’d never be a suspect if he ever did commit something...All he had to do was disguise the crime scene. Plant hair. Contaminate evidence. Move things around. Anything he could to frame someone else! He had a plan. He would kill Matthias, the stupid dancer who he couldn’t stand to be around. Then he’d frame Carmen. He found a pair of the shoes she wore and took them from the supply room, keeping them for himself. It took awhile to get all of the supplies he needed. Tarps, tools from the art room, a bag of blood from the nurses office. Everything was coming together!!! This was going to work!! He could almost taste his freedom! He got too cocky. Berwald followed Matthias, who was blissfully unaware of what was happening, as he wandered around the school. He followed Matthias up to the 3rd floor and cornered him in the red room!!! But Matthias was too fast!! As Berwald went to hit him over the head, Matthias grabbed a Kumakuma bottle and smashed it over his head!! Berwald now had blood running down his face into his eyes! Matthias took this as an opportunity to snatch up another bottle, breaking that one on his head too! BAM!! After a THIRD hit to the head, Berwald fell to the ground and died. Matthias was horrified with what he had done...now he was standing in a puddle of blood, covered in Berwald’s blood...Even though this was technically self defense, he still killed him!! Oh no!!! He rifled though Berwald’s bag and managed to piece together the origional plan! He made bloody footprints with the girls shoes and dumped his own shoes (and the rest of Berwald’s bag’s contents) in hallway garbage can. Jittery and in shock, he made his way back to his room to shower. His biggest mistake was leaving a partial bloody handprint on his own doorknob.

Execution #4: ‘Dance Dance Execution!’. Matthias Kohler has been found guilty! It’s time for his punishment! His punishment for killing Berwald Ox, The Ultimate CEO, is to dance for his life! A ‘dance dance revolution’ machine is set up for everyone to see. Matthias is set up on the machine and must dance at the highest level in order to stay alive. He gets three chances, each misstep makes the machine go faster, demanding that Matthias dances faster. When he messes up the first time, buzzer rings out and strobe lights turn on. Now the his vision is obscured as he dances. The second time he messes up, he’ll hear a buzzer again and the sound of a roaring crowd is pumped into the room, making it harder for him to hear the song the machine is playing. The third time he messes up, the room goes silent, the machine stops and the lights come on all the way to reveal a giant, heavy, metal box dangling from the ceiling. The box then falls, crushing him and the ‘dance dance’ machine too.

“Murder” #5: The students have all been desperate to figure out the mystery of the school. They’ve gone to the bathhouse and student bathrooms countless times to formulate plans to sneak around. They’ve distracted Kumakuma, stolen things from different rooms, found a headmasters key tucked away in the library. They’ve been able to uncover the mystery of why there are 16 trial stands. There are 16 students. What the fuuuck???? They get ahold of Gilbert’s student file and within a day, a body is found. Ding dong dong ding!....Huh??? Everyone rushes to where they hear screams! Up on the 4th floor, slumped against the music room door is Gilbert Beilschmidt!!! The student they just discovered in the files!! His face is mutilated and a chunk of skin on his shoulder is missing. His file indicates that he has a tattoo there to commemorate his first gold medal. Everyone is now rightfully freaking out, everyone suspects eachother!! They go into the trial practically blind.

Execution....#5...?: The trial for Gilbert Beilschmidt’s murder is the most chaotic one yet. No evidence is making sense...But...One little detail. Michelle had gone to the bathroom alone that morning while everyone else was at breakfast at 7:15. And Gilbert’s death was around 7:30 so....She had plenty of time to go kil him and come back before breakfast was over at 9! After that fact came to light, everyone agreed that Michelle was the killer and...she was sentanced! Huh??? Michelle didn’t kill anyone!!! She just barely saved herself by posing the question: ‘Couldnt Gilbert have even killed by the mastermind? Not one of us?’. Everyone then quickly turned on Kumakuma, asking who controlled him. After an hour in the trial room, arguing and yelling, The real Gilbert showed himself in his true, mastermind glory! He admits to being part of the Ultimate Despair. The dead ‘Gilbert’ was just another corpse. A decoy. But the students figured him out. The trial continued long into the night as the students worked through the mysteries of the school, the tragedy, whats outside, all of it. Gilbert laughed and went along with it, encouraging despair to take over the students. “If you convict Michelle, I’ll allow you all to continue living here in peace! But if you convince me~ Well, you have to go. The second I die, the air purifiers will go off! And so will the fridges, air conditioner, water pumps, all of it! You’ll be forced to leave! Go out into that hopeless world you love so much and die there, motherfuckers~”

Execution #5: The Finale. The students all convince Gilbert, they stick together to the very end. Gilbert laughs and laughs, hitting the button to announce his own punishment. He whoops and hollers as he strides into the punishment room, happily straps himself onto a wheel with a target on it. The punishment begins! The wheel starts spinning. Slow at first then faster and faster and faster! Kumakuma robots throw knives at Mach speed, each knife hitting Gil in different places. Throughout his punishment, he laughs and hollers through the whole thing. The students think it’s worse than screams of pain....When hes dead they all get to leave....and see what’s outside...

((I hope this isn’t too rambly lmao alsoooo please don’t think I’m like....fucked up or something lmao aijssjkshdvs))

#tw gore #specs DNR au

[yxkanna-a]

Character Sheet

Tagged by: @east--moon ty!!

Tagging: this is sort of a longer dash meme than i usually post SO i won’t tag anyone specific but bls steal it from me bc it’s so GOOD

𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐬 !

FULL NAME. nicky maxwell lee NICKNAME. most often goes just by nick; sometimes his brother calls him max to annoy him GENDER. cis man     HEIGHT. 5′10″ / 177.8 cm AGE. 25 ZODIAC. pisces by accident (would’ve been a more accurate aries if he’d been born when he was supposed to hdksf) SPOKEN LANGUAGES. fluent in english and japanese. he understands some phrases (mostly curses) in spanish, french, german, italian, korean, mandarin, and russian, but can’t replicate them or carry on a conversation

𝐩𝐡𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬 !

HAIR COLOR. jet black    EYE COLOR. dark green    SKIN. tends to be on the pale side of fair, but he can acquire a tan the more he’s exposed to the sun BODY TYPE. the slender side of athletic  DOMINANT HAND. left POSTURE/BODY LANGUAGE. nick tends to have good posture because the last thing he needs is to have a bad back on the job. he very much has a loud, dominating presence in a room of strangers just bc that’s how he’s used to carrying himself elsewhere. he’s extremely physically expressive, and if you know him well enough to know all his tics, he can be read like a book even if he’s trying to hide his emotions. he always has a need to be moving, so most of the time his body language includes some kind of fidget when he’s standing otherwise still, usually in the form of a bouncing leg. TATTOOS. none   MOST NOTICEABLE FEATURE(S). his eyes- people aren’t used to seeing asians with light eyes and often don’t believe him when he explains that they’re a less-rare occurrence from the part of japan his ancestors hail from. nick also has a radiant smile which can be kind of unexpected sometimes judging based on his resting bitch face. aside from his physical features, he also has a rather jarring accent if you’re not used to it.

𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐝 !

PLACE OF BIRTH. brownsville, brooklyn, new york HOMETOWN. again, brownsville, but he knows nyc as a whole like the back of his hand. SIBLINGS. teddy ryuu lee (older brother by four years) PARENTS. naomi hana lee (mother), ronin hibiki lee (father, estranged)

𝐚𝐝𝐮𝐥𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 !

OCCUPATION. emergency medical technician - basic, working in an advanced life support unit CURRENT RESIDENCE. a relatively cheap apartment in flatbush, brooklyn CLOSE FRIENDS. in canon he’s only really close friends with his coworkers, especially his paramedic partner lily vasquez. he usually doesn’t have much outside time to establish and maintain friendships, unfortunately. RELATIONSHIP STATUS. single FINANCIAL STATUS. moderate. he’s extremely frugal due to his upbringing so he doesn’t have trouble living within his means, but emts don’t make a lot of money, so those means are kind of on the small side. he eats a lot of ramen. DRIVER’S LICENSE. yes, but he only ever drives to the grocery store because who the fuck wants to drive a car in nyc. he’s also licensed to drive an ambulance! CRIMINAL RECORD. none on the books lmao

𝐬𝐞𝐱 & 𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 !

SEXUAL ORIENTATION. bisexual, tends to exhibit a preference for men PREFERRED SEXUAL ROLE. submissive  |  dominant  |  switch  |  top  | bottom LIBIDO. quite high. TURN ONS. people who could kill him with their bare hands if they wanted to but are gentle with him lmao. dirty talk, praise, power struggles, rough sex as a whole. edging, as much as he claims he hates it. he just wants to be Loved TURN OFFS. choking/breathplay and being on the receiving end of bondage will send him into a panic. also just generally being an asshole unironically ain’t sexy RELATIONSHIP TENDENCIES. he’s ride or fucking die. he loves casual physical contact with his s/o, and getting them stupid little gifts and spending time with them. he wants you to know you’re loved and would like to know that he’s loved in return. he can be a bit clingy since he’s always got this lingering fear that he’s going to be abandoned.

𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐨𝐮𝐬  !

HOBBIES TO PASS TIME. lmao what hobbies. he does like to go on walks sometimes just to get out and move, but he doesn’t really have established hobbies otherwise. MENTAL ILLNESSES. mild, undiagnosed ptsd stemming from his sexual assault in college (he’s extremely heavy on the avoidance aspect). also not really a mental illness but he deals with diagnosed severe dyslexia (pure, neglect, and attentional) so if he can avoid reading he does. PHYSICAL ILLNESSES. he has sort of high blood pressure but he’s otherwise healthy hfskd LEFT OR RIGHT BRAINED. probably a little more left leaning bc his job requires him to be analytical, but he’s also chaotic as Fuck sometimes so it’s sorta balanced lmao PHOBIAS. deep water, open water, fast-moving water, if there’s a possibility he could drown in it he’s terrified. suffocation, as a whole. tightly confined spaces. being restrained with anything (rope, tape, handcuffs, whatever). all of it leads back to an overall fear of loss of control; he can deal with being alone, but he can’t deal with not having autonomy in situations.

#ooc #about nick #long post #qual-i-tee