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trumpkinhotboy · 3 months

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Chronic protective brother syndrome

Pairing: big brother!nick nelson x little sister!reader

Type: Request (thank you so much!!)

Warnings: Mention of fainting, having a chronic illness, but nothing too intense

Word count: 1900

Requests: Open! For Heartstopper, twilight wolfpack, chronicles of narnia and harry potter

A/n: honestly… i dont have much to say except that i love writing for requests and that big brother nick makes me weak in the knees. Hope you enjoy angels xxx

*gif is not mine

Summary: The reader has been living with diabetes her whole life. She's grown quite accustomed to it and manages it well with the help of her supportive family. Although sometimes, support can feel a little suffocating...

Through your 14 years of existence, you have grown quite accustomed to life with type 1 diabetes. As you grew up and became more conscious of what it meant to live with a chronic disease, you learned to accept and care for yourself quite well.

Your mother, Sarah, was a real trooper and never let you down, always carrying you when you felt exhausted and done with your condition, which did happen more often than you care to admit. Luckily, you also had someone else in your corner: your older brother.

Nick is known to be quite protective. Especially with the people he cares for. However, that aspect of his personality gained a new high when you were born, and your mother explained why you could never do everything just as he did. Of course, you would still be able to do most of them. You would simply need to be a little more careful.

Sarah remembers very clearly the look in little Nick’s eyes when she explained why you were always sick. You were resting in bed after a substantial flare-up when his eyes welled up with tears. That's when he finally understood that there was something in your own body that would always try to fight and hurt itself. That’s also when he promised himself he would do everything to protect you. Your mum still tells that story with a few tears welling up in her eyes.

Nick knew you could have a lot of complications from your disease. To avoid them, he always made sure you had everything you needed at all times. You usually didn't mind, seeing how your ADHD sometimes made it a little harder for you to remember to pack your stuff. Plus, the fatigue diabetes often fogged you with did not help in that department.

The thing is you were now 14 years old, finally starting to make new friends and explore the jungle that is social life in high school. So when your 16-year-old brother comes over, and all your lady friends swoon over him, or worse, when he comes over to baby you, it gets a little irritating. Luckily, Nick was quite stubborn about that stuff and was not about to let you get hurt just because of the image you wanted to project.

That was until you made quite a scene in front of everyone.

You had been feeling particularly irritated and moody that day. So when you saw your brother walk over to you with a backup diabetes kit, which was his creation, you felt anger boil in your blood.

It did not help to hear some nasty year 10 make jokes from a picnic table near your friends and you. "Oh, would you look at that? Diabetes Nelson still needs her big brother to bring her her little drugs. I don't understand how someone like him could be related to her."

It was stupid. It wasn't even a good insult. Plus, the people who kept making comments were not something to be impressed with. Still, you couldn't help the shame from creeping on your cheeks.

So this time, when your big brother came to check on you and offered you your safety pouch, you refused.

"I already have the normal one. I don't need this one."

"I know, but I don't think you've put the new insulin shots in. I brought you the safety one just in case."

The snickers you heard from the people behind had you gritting your teeth. You couldn't understand their exact words, but you knew it wasn't positive.

"Don't you have anything better to do than watch over me all day?" you hissed. "I'm not stupid Nick."

Your diabetes also made you prone to mood swings, mostly when your blood sugar levels were too high or low. That's why Nick usually did not make a big deal out of these outbursts, but this time felt different. Hurt flashed in his eyes, and briefly, you regretted the words.

"I never said that. I just want to make sure you have everything you need. You know the risks." His tone was soft, his gaze focused on you. He tried as much as he could not to make a big deal out of this, but your reaction had the exact opposite effect. He knew how the fear of being judged could make a person act in such a terrible way.

"I don't need you to remind me how weak and useless my body is, okay? I'm the one living with diabetes, Nick. Not you." You whispered angrily.

You grabbed your bag and left him planted there without looking back. Nick and you were usually like two peas in a pod, and to leave him there hurt much more than you would care to admit.

You got back in class, trying to act normal, but after an hour in, you felt queasy and feeble. You had indulged in some sweets some friends offered after your altercation with Nick, brushing off the risk with your ongoing anger. Subtly, you pricked your finger and couldn't help your eyes from growing two sizes when you saw the little numbers your tracker presented. You were in hyperglycemia and urgently needed to get a shot of insulin. Swiftly, you asked to be excused from the class and headed for the bathroom. The walls seemed to shake around you, and your vision kept warping up. Cursing yourself for being this dumb, you opened your bag with shaking hands, searching for your shots.

"Shit."

There was only one thing worse than fighting with Nick, and it was when you realized he had been right. You mumbled under your breath, trying to stay calm and figure out a quick solution because this was becoming urgent, and you needed the care right now. Calling Nick would do no good since he was at Truham anyway. You decided to head back to class to ask for your teacher's help, but once you tried climbing the stairs, a thousand little dots started dancing around. You were able to mutter an 'I feel kinda dizzy' before everything turned black.

You awoke to a commotion. Distorted sounds and everything around you moved too fast to register. Someone was holding your hand while you felt a pinch in your arm.

"It's okay, it's okay Y/n. You're going to be okay. I'm here."

You knew that voice. You lifted your gaze with an effort and only saw a flash of red hair before darkness swallowed you once more.

This time, when you woke up, everything was silent and peaceful. You were lying in a bed, a hospital bed, with an IV drip set up in your arm. Nick was resting in the chair next to you, his worried eyes set on his phone as he quickly typed.

"Hey," you croaked.

His head whipped up in surprise when he heard your voice. He immediately dropped his phone to come by your side. His hand flew to your forehead. The coolness of it felt incredibly refreshing as you leaned into the touch.

"Hey, kid," he whispered. He tried putting a smile on his face, but it couldn't hide the worry he was truly feeling.

"So, I'm guessing I fainted? And someone found me? And they panicked ?"

"Panicked is an understatement."

He explained that Imogen found you at the bottom of the stairs. She didn't know whether you had fallen from them or just fainted at the bottom, so she immediately called for help and texted him.

"I ran to Higgs faster than Charlie ever could," he added with a smirk, his joke stealing a chuckle from your chest.

"I'm sorry for causing such a commotion. I should wear a bracelet that says fainting is normal for me so people won't worry."

His gaze hardened at your comment. "Fainting is not normal for you. It's a bad sign, and you know it."

You sheepishly dropped your gaze. Okay, he wasn't ready to make jokes about it yet. Charlie would have laughed, you secretly thought.

"I don't understand why you pulled that crap. I just wanted to help you."

You lay back in bed with a sigh and covered your eyes with your forearm. You did know Nick only wanted to help, but still. His kind gestures irritated you so much sometimes.

"It's already hard enough to be the sick kid. That was my only thing when I was in middle school. I thought now I could step away from it, that I could be someone else. Be known for other things than my messed up immune system."

You noticed Nick's expression softened once you uncovered your eyes.

"And I know you want to help and trust me, I appreciate it. It's just that sometimes it feels like you don't believe in me. Like you don't think I'm capable of doing stuff. Instead of helping me become stronger, you keep worrying me with your horror scenarios."

It was now Nick's turn to look all sheepish and guilty. You might have been right in saying he tended to get a little paranoid when you wanted to try new things. He only thought about protecting you. He never realized the effect it would have on your self-esteem.

"I'm tired of being afraid. I've looked it up, and there are so many people with diabetes who are doing amazing things. I can stay healthy and still be a badass kid who tries new stuff."

He looked up, his eyes holding so much uncertainty and fear. Though through it all, love was the strongest thing in his gaze. He grabbed your hand once again with a tight smile.

"I hear you, I'm sorry. I never thought it would make you feel like this, or else I wouldn't have done it."

"Nick." You gave him a knowing look.

"Okay, okay. I might have still done it, but only because you're my baby sister, and I want you to be healthy and have a long, long life, okay?"

You nodded while tightening your grip on his hand.

"I promise I will be less overbearing, and I will support you in whatever new thing you want to try."

"Thanks, Nick, and for school, could you maybe not come and do your big brother number in front of all my friends? I appreciate the gesture, but I'm over dealing with the dumbasses."

He sighed heavily but still agreed to your request. "About that, just a piece of advice. I've learned that sometimes the thing we are afraid will show our weakness or vulnerability only does when we allow it to. Once you reclaim your power and own it, it all switches around. Anyone who has something to say about it will suddenly disappear, or you won't care what they have to say anymore."

You nodded sheepishly. You honestly didn't care about your diabetes. I mean, it could be a gigantic pain, and you would have to be careful for the rest of your life. But all in all, you were pretty lucky. You had your condition mostly under control when you weren't a sassy dumbass, and you had the best support system someone could wish for.

"Look at me. You're going to be okay kiddo." Your brother squeezed your hand tighter in a reassuring motion.

You lifted your head to meet his supportive gaze and smiled in return. Yes, you would be okay.

#ilya writes #nick nelson #nick nelson x little sister!reader #nick nelson x sibling!reader #heartstopper #heartstopper fic #nick nelson fic #nick and charlie #alice oseman #kit connor #anon request

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nyaagolor · 11 months

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What's going on with Nemona's wrist?

this is mostly just me putting down all my thoughts about this hc I have. Below the cut bc it's long as usual but read on if ur interested in like. orthopedics

I think Nemona has fatigue and some kind of wrist Issue because 1. She implies she has decreased motor function in that arm (can't throw pokeballs well, supports her arm with her other hand during battles) 2. She wears a brace 3. She gets winded easily / needs to catch her breath more than other characters / hates stairs So that got me wondering what the cause could be. I work in an orthopedic office and my shifts are 12 hours so sometimes when it's slow and I'm bored this is what my mind wanders to

Option 1: It's carpal tunnel and she's out of shape This is the most obvious answer since carpal tunnel is a repetitive stress injury and she's wearing a brace that looks almost identical to irl braces for that problem. Throwing pokeballs over and over, especially incorrectly, would be the most likely cause of an asymmetrical injury like that, and is actually reasonable for someone of her age and activity level. The winded thing is just because she's out of shape and has no underlying cause. Or maybe she just has some kinda chronic pain / fatigue disorder. That's not my department idk

Option 2: Oligoarticular JIA (juvenile idiopathic arthritis) This very long name is just describing chronic joint swelling in children that affects less than 5 joints. It's an autoimmune disease, and actually not that uncommon all things considered. It causes stiffness and pain, which would explain the stamina issues and motor skill issues. Plus, the constant flexion and extension of the knees from staircases certainly would explain her distaste for them in particular. That shit hurts. Occasionally people will use a brace for JIA-- it's highly unlikely her wrist would be the worst considering the typical presentation patterns (it usually affects bigger joints first like the knees) but hey. It's possible! This condition also affects young girls more often than other groups so. Math checks out

Option 3: Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (hypermobility type) Figured I would include this bc I've seen a few people hc this and wanted to give it a fair shot myself. This is a heritable connective tissue disorder that causes hypermobile joints, chronic pain, fatigue, and a whole host of other things. Specifically tho, this disorder used to be called EDS type III and is now considered part of the Hypermobility Spectrum Disorders, but that's a can of worms for a post that's not this one. While the symptoms do match, and honestly quite well (a brace for stabilization makes perfect sense and the fatigue symptoms feel pretty on the nose) the disease usually causes very stretchy skin and vascular issues that she doesn't seem to have so I'm a tad on the fence

Option 4: Cervical spinal stenosis Despite this being the first thing that came to mind for me (since I see it a lot in the office) I'm now less convinced this would be the case. This disorder is basically a narrowing of the spinal canal that pinches the nerves in the neck. It can cause pain, weakness, numbing, and pain that radiates down the body. If most of the compression was on the C4 and C5 nerve I can see it affecting one arm / wrist especially rough (since the pain is typically bilateral but asymmetrical) but also this occurring in people under the age of 50 is SUPER rare so eh. It's possible it was congenital or caused by an injury but I wouldn't bet on it. As for the stamina issues, the neurological issues caused by the compression would likely be the cause of that, especially radiating down the back and legs. Felt worth it to include even if I'm not 100% convinced

I'm saying "options" here bc these symptoms are super vague and there's like 80 billion things that could cause it, I'm just racking my brain for different possibilities. If anyone has other hcs for the underlying causes of Her Whole Deal lmk I'm curious

#i know this is completely deranged but it's pride month let me have this #nemona #pokemon sv #headcanons #mod vex

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nootqueen404 · 2 years

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Eddie Munson HC: Having a Chronically Ill Partner

Yes this is purely self-indulgent, leave me be okay?! Bare in mind that much of this is based on my own experience as someone with multiple chronic illnesses. I have Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome, Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, Chronic Anemia, Small Fiber Neuropathy, and Pre-Load Failure.

Even though you knew Eddie was the non-judgmental type, you were still scares to tell him about being disabled. Obviously he wasn't phased.

But on the inside all he can think about is “what can I do? What can I do to help y/n? How can I make their life easier? How can I let them know how much I love them?”

Eddie is best friends with Dustin, so he has a little experience with medical stuff. Part of the reason they are friends is because Jason Carver tripped the freshman on his first day and Eddie seriously though Dustin broke something. Eddie wound up in detention for fighting, but he still snuck out to check on Dustin and leaned about his CCD. The rest is history.

But yeah, Eddie tried to ask Dustin for advice. Dustin just acts like a smart ass and roasts him for assuming he knows anything because you and him are disabled and "must know each other." Eddie panicked and apologized profusely (we know how much he HATES confrontation,) but after he realized they Dustin was fucking with him Ed gives him a massive wedgie.

The internet didn't exist yet, so research is hard to come by. So Eddie does the next best thing - ask his Uncle Wayne for advice (he just reminds his nephew that the library is a thing.)

He probably asks Nancy too because "Hey she's pretty smart." She does help a lot actually, mostly by being the voice of reason and encouraging Eddie to learn from you.

Eddie asks A LOT of questions at first, enough to where he learns about one of the most common symptoms - brainfog and cognitive fatigue. Now he just asks the doctors you see.

Speaking of doctors he acts as your personal chauffeur to all of your appointments, even if you have a drivers license and a car. He knows you're more than capable of driving yourself, he just doesn't want you to put more stress on your body then you need to.

He's also not afraid to speak up on your behalf if a doctor or nurse tries to gaslight you. He remembers early on in your relationship of you coming home an appointment, just sobbing your eyes out about "no one believing you." That lit a fire under his ass.

He's threaten to throw hands with said doctors. But most of the time he just passive aggressive.

You've tried to explain Spoon Theory to him ("Why the fuck is it spoons?!?") So he changed it to a Health Bar, Hit Points, and Mana because he's a giant fucking nerd like that. Honestly it made more sense to both of you.

He's a lot more cautious now when it comes to his dealing, either cutting back on making deals to keep both of you safe, or triple checking the quality of his product. If what he deals could help someone, someone like you, then he knows it needs to be perfect.

When you tell him that some of the stuff he sells can help with your symptoms he makes sure he keeps the really good stuff in a safe place for you. Only the best weed for his baby.

Eddie stocks his kitchen with all of your favorite snacks and drinks, much to the annoyance of his uncle. Wayne bought him a mini fridge just so Eddie wouldn't overstock the main one with nothing but Gatorade.

Eddie is always worried if you're too hot/cold (In my personal case I'm always cold).

Too hot during those grueling summers in Hawkins? BOOM! Kiddie pool! BOOM! Pedialyte popsicles! BOOM! Umbrella!

Too cold? He keeps a bunch of regular and electric blankets in his closet.

You almost never use them because Eddie is a human space heater.

He keeps extra clothes and extra bottles of your meds for you if you don't have the Spoons/HP to drive home.

Could he drive you home? Yeah, but taking care of others is his love language.

You've made fun of him for this, but he keeps a mini cooler in his van filled with water and Gatorade because "you never know."

The pharmacists use to hate Eddie (cuz ya know) and were a little afraid of him with all of the rumors going. But after you two start dating they LOVE him! Whenever either of you need to get medical supplies the old ladies gush about how sweet Eddie is and the old guys try to hire him because he "knows so much" about different prescription medication.

They also give you and Eddie deals on supplies because they know you're both struggling financially.

After a while Wayne let's you sit in his recliner to help with your circulation.

Speaking of which, Wayne also loves you! He's skeptical at first, but all of that goes away after he sees how happy you make Eddie. Plus, he loves that Eddie is now using his dealer status to help people.

Eddie broke his own personal rule: the only people allowed to sit in his throne at Hellfire Club is him...and now you. The others did complain a little, but after Eddie explained your situation they backed down. When you need to shit you’re going to go sit wherever you can.

For your One Year anniversary Eddie gives you your own throne. The other members helped brainstorm and decorate it.

When you start needing a ramp Eddie enlists the help of all of your friends to help build it all. Everyone got a kick out of painting the ramp, but it caused a lot of in-fighting over how it would look. This is another way you bond with Eddie’s Uncle.

Eddie and the others helped you raise money for a motorized wheelchair and/or service animal by doing car washes and Corroded Coffin doing charity gigs.

You thought the crew fighting over the ramp was bad, wait until they get the idea to customize your mobility aid!

Team Eddie's Hot rod flames and skulls vs. Team Erica's Glitter and rainbow stickers.

Whenever you go to concerts with Eddie he makes sure you can have somewhere to sit away from the pit.

If its one of his shows he has you seated right off stage and with one of your friends - usually Steve and Robin. The best seat in the house!

Eddie LOVES bridal carrying you everywhere (Even though it isn't always needed.)

And giving you baths! Some times he’ll even join you! He will sit behind you and wash your hair while you cuddle up against his chest. One word: HEAVEN!

Not a day goes by where Eddie doesn't tell you he loves you for who you are - in sickness and in health.

(NSFW)

Eddie is super cautious during sex now after you passed out one time (I had this happen to be irl. It terrified my boyfriend, but I thought it was hilarious!)

You use the Stop Light Method to check in on each other. Green = keep going, Yellow = slow down, Red = Stop

"Who needs lingerie when you have compression socks?" is a running gag for you two.

Repeats after Eddie: “Hydrate or die-drate!”

Aftercare gets an upgrade in the form of baths together, “post-coitus” salty snacks, and snuggling while watching TV.

#stranger things #eddie munson #stranger things 4 #eddie munson x reader #eddie stranger things #eddie x reader #head canon #eddie munson headcanons #chronic illness #chronically ill #POTS #ehlers danlos syndrome

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cios-correct-opinions · 2 months

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i wish there was more knowledge on ME/CFS bc as someone with chronic fatigue syndrome it gets. so tiring. seeing posts abt like. yknow revolutionary anarchist etc stuff. and one of the things is like "you gotta go out there and build community"

brother. listen to me. i am housebound almost entirely, partially due to us only having 1 car and 0 money, but also bc every time i leave the house, even if only for a few minutes, i am completely exhausted. the meds that used to help me are no longer helping me almost at all. i am lucky if i have the energy to write 100 words on my fandom fanfics each day. drawing is nearly impossible. everything exhausts me and it's only getting worse. i'm so tired all the time and it feels like every day i'm getting slowly closer to dying. i can LITERALLY feel myself getting sicker, getting worse. NOTHING is helping and nobody knows why i'm so sick. on top of that i have anemia and severe vitamin deficiencies. all of this has gone on for years since childhood and was neglected by my parents as well until i moved in with my grandparents. even now, i probably won't be able to afford treatment if they figure out how to treat what the fuck is wrong with me because i'm gonna lose my health insurance this year and i doubt medicare/medicaid (my only option as i do not have a job and possibly will never have one if my health continues on this path) will pay for the no-doubt expensive shit i'll need.

so like. i need the community to come to ME. i cannot go to community outreach things unless i want to be in physical agony for the next several days or weeks. going to a community day or something puts me out of commission for at least 3 days. that means i have almost 0 energy to do jack shit for 3 days except MAYBE scroll thru tumblr and twitter and sometimes talk on discord. i might be able to write if i'm lucky.

but nobody wants to do that. nobody wants to help me or the people like me because it's "too hard" for them and "if you really cared you'd come to us" as if that's a choice we make.

honestly i think we should start telling them that. if you claim to be a revolutionary leftist, and you aren't willing to engage in creating community and helping people who literally cannot reciprocate that with you due to their health? i don't think you actually care about us. because if you REALLY cared you'd come to us.

#cfs #chronic fаtiguе ѕуndrоmе #mecfs #myalgic encephalomyelitis #me #my voice #cio.org #cio.txt

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gucciguccigarbage · 3 months

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Sometimes I get that internalized ableism feel of "what if everybody feels this bad all the time and is just better at dealing with it" and then I have days like today. Which I am being very niceys to myself about... But I think the abnormality to crush my disability impostor syndrome is kind of self-evident...

Waking up- Slowly and difficultly. Get out of bed to take my 6am meds at 10 past 6. My first alarm was at 4:50

6:30-7:30- trying to make a meal plan and grocery list for shopping later. Mixed success.

7:30-9:00- Playing sky:cotl (lowkey video game) on voice call with friend

9:00-11:30- Picking up where I left off, ending up with a total of 3.5 hours between two sessions spent planning one month of meals and putting a very small number of items onto a shopping list.

11:30am-1:30pm- Actually running the errand, including putting away groceries after getting home. Pretty decent time for going to both a bulk buy store and a farmstand, I feel fine about that one.

1:30pm-4:00pm- Decided to lie down a little bit to recover after running my errand. Ended up immobilized. Honestly not sure how to describe this sensation that happens every so often, definitely not sleep but also feels tied to the chronic fatigue factor just. Can't move, kinda numb kinda just feeling aches, not really processing info around me but awake? Anyway, that.

4:00-7:30- Filled the dishwasher, reheated leftovers for dinner, and quick-pickled some beets and radishes I got earlier. Now I'm writing this post then going to sleep.

Yeah, writing it out like this it seems pretty clear, right? One errand essentially took up my entire day. I wasn't able to get anything else done that I wanted to. I can say in perspective to good days and in perspective to others, that's definitely not the way the majority of people experience a day in the world. And even now some part of my brain goes "what if that isnt true and youre just whining" when I definitely know enough to say, you know, I'd never CHOOSE to lie unmoving in my bed for hours on end like. Wouldn't I at least willfully 'slack off' with something fun if I could-

#disability rambles

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lifblogs · 11 months

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For mental health awareness month let’s talk about how some people can’t take meds for their mental illnesses.

Hi, I’m severely mentally ill with almost enough illnesses to need a third hand when counting them, and I can’t take any meds.

My experiences have been weird, vaguely uncomfortable, horrible, and downright terrifying. It’s all a mix. I was on one med that made me lactate (and I got mastitis), another made me insanely sick to my stomach and I could barely walk for days because of how weak I was from lack of sleep, fluids, and hunger. Another gave me serotonin syndrome and nearly killed me. I suffered from temporary brain damage and hyperreflexia (that made me once accidentally kick my lovely cat Alley, and it still pains me). I’ve been on some meds that make me feel drunk, others that make my chronic fatigue so bad that I can’t even speak, and this one med that made me forget the two days I took it. Usually I get sick to my stomach, or headaches. One med put me in the hospital while I was slowly dying from Steven Johnson Syndrome (don’t ask unless you’re ready for gory details).

I have tried med after med after med, and I always end up sick, and have nearly died twice.

Now, I’m NOT saying other people can’t take meds. They absolutely can! A lot of people (majority, actually) can tolerate meds, and ESPECIALLY the right med. But me, I can’t. I’ve stopped trying meds since my last horrific experience with one. I’m too terrified to try, my psychiatrist is also terrified to try giving me anything else.

And because of all of this I am honestly suffering. I’m fighting symptoms almost constantly. And while I have recovered in some ways over half my days are absolute hell (not saying I don’t have good moments because I definitely do).

I know I’m not alone in this. I know there are other people who are mentally ill that can’t take meds either, and god, it’s hard, right? But I think with a good therapist and learning to be kind to ourselves we can do this! Some days are way harder than others, but if we’re still here, then that counts for something!

#mental heath awareness

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yourpalghost · 3 months

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Sorry im chatty this morning but

Yall sometimes

Sometimes its SO hard to accept that I’m sick.

Like, I know a lot of it is shame and what not. Most of it is. Some of the problem is imposter syndrome and stuff of the likes. Downplaying my own issues, thinking im doing it for attention, etc.

Like. Im not important enough to be sick. I SHOULD be able to do XYZ. Oh its not THAT bad, people have it worse. Does that REALLY hurt or are you just faking? Afterall, thats also just normal.

So like, I have chronic fatigue so i’m always tired and since my baseline moved, i don’t notice how tired i am until its even worse and sometimes the worse isnt an extra sleepy feeling, its my body feeling heavy, brain fog, and often times being more prone to crying (i call this the sleepy weepies).

I have a connective tissue problems which lead to constant pain so my baseline moved so I don’t notice the pain until it gets worse but sometimes the “getting worse” is just feeling like im gonna vomit for no clear reason, feeling dizzy, or sweating all of a sudden(also brain fog but I usually attribute that to the fatigue). (Not to even mention the literal excruciating periods I have that literally leave me shaking and in so much extra pain Im regularly on the verge of blacking out AND STILL GO ABOUT LIFE. Thats its own additional bullshit)

And these two things are going on together at all times

Those questionnaires that are like “where is your base level of pain”? I cant answer them because the pains so constant my brains blocked it out so its at a zero. Its like how your brain blocks out your nose or the sound of your heart beat in your ears. How it sometimes blocks out the feeling of certain things against your skin and just registers it as pressure.

My finger is fucking shattered right now(its healing up well) but like aside from the initial SURPRISE of getting it fucking crushed, it “doesnt hurt”. Because i regularly experience worse pain than BREAKING A FUCKING BONE. The pain is at zero but i feel sick. If someone else who wasn’t an experiencer of chronic pain jumped in my body, they would be on the ground in agony. And like I know im IN pain because painkillers when I do use them jusy dull itfrom distracting to noticeable unless im fortunate enough to have been granted the big boy pain meds that make you silly. That shit? Works. When it wears off, my whole body aches and hurts and it sucks.

AND WHILE ALL OF THIS IS TRUE, I STILL FEEL LIKE IM NOT SICK ENOUGH TO BE CONSIDERED SICK.

I hurt all the time and im so fucking tired all the time but I just keep going because “its not that bad” and while I need various aids (knee braces, wrist braces, honestly a chair or scooter, migraine glasses, and more) I just dont use them or cant justify getting them.

God the way that a mobility aid would improve my quality of life is astounding and I recognize thats enough of a reason to then say “then I need it”, brain also wont let me! Because idk man? I just gotta “push through”.

I started this forlorn and now im mad. Mad at me and my situation and everything really. Im so fucking tired and in lots of pain and I just wish it didnt suck so hard. I just wish i wouldn’t push myself. Yall I have to have other people tell me “you dont want to go to the store, you want to go for a walk” so I dont push myself to be productive on my days off. I had to convince myself to stay home from classes today instead of pushing myself through it to then have to recover wednesday and not vane enough time to recover and then push myself through thursday and then have to push myself all the way back through again to start the damn cycle over next week.

Im working on accepting that im sick and its hard and we all have days where we relapse into “no im not im just xyz” but gdi. Im sick im sick im sick. I am disabled, my shits debilitating, its chronic im sick IM SICK I AM SICK

#ghost chatter #air vent rattling #vent #sick #chronic illness #chronic pain

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whump-4-ever · 7 months

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Hello! This is your admin Megan, and here’s just a bit of background info about me. (Side note: I’m very new to Tumblr and I’m still figuring out how to use it 🤣). Right now, at the time of this post, I’m 24 years old and I have been struggling with some severe chronic illnesses since I was around 16 years old. I am mostly bed-ridden due to this absolutely debilitating fatigue/exhaustion (it is a result of a condition I have that is known medically as ME/CFS/myalgic encephalomyelitis/chronic fatigue syndrome), but when I /am/ able to be awake and I have the physical and mental energy to pull it off, I love writing (I am actually in the process of creating a book 😅), I enjoy playing World of Warcraft as well as some other games, watching movies/TV/YouTube with my friends online (usually over discord voice chat), and honestly probably a lot more that I can’t think of right now (😂). I believe that my love of whump stems from three main things: my subconscious desire to be taken care of whenever I’m /really/ struggling (whether it be emotionally, mentally, or physically), my desire to love and protect my favorite fictional characters, and my need to express myself through my writing/characters. While I’ve been nearly bed-ridden for the last seven-ish years, I was also born with severe GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) and OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder), so I have struggled with different types of chronic illness my entire life. (Side note: I have a lot of other medical shit aside from the CFS, GAD, and OCD but it’s the CFS that keeps me from being up and out of bed). I have good days and bad days (this past month or so it’s been more bad days than good) because my symptoms are always changing/trading places with each other and fluctuating in severity (I also tend to develop new symptoms at random times). In order to get myself through each and every day, I tend to use my writing/love of whump as a coping mechanism (like many other people 😂). It’s nice to meet you all and I hope you like my prompts! Feel free to use them to your liking. ALL I ASK IS FOR YOU TO PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE give me credit if you put them online somewhere. I’m sure many of you writers out there know how much time and effort goes into all aspects of writing/editing and I would really appreciate not having my original work being taken. Really as long as people aren’t taking it and saying that it’s theirs, I don’t have an issue with it being used, BUT I DO appreciate getting tagged/credited if possible 😅❤️thank you 🥰

#new to the community #new to tumblr #hello tumblr #whump writing

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nagiwritesthedevildom · 2 years

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How the Brothers help take care of a Chronically Ill MC

I figured my very first post should be something near and dear to me, and since I'm currently dealing with a particularly annoying flare-up from weather changes I feel this is a good starting point.

This is based on my own chronic illnesses(Fibromyalgia and )Chronic Fatigue mainly) and as such, may not be the same for you!

CW for: Chapter 16 spoilers, vomit(Mammon and Beel's parts), mentions of food, breakdowns, medication (specifically pills), burnout(specifically medical)

I also HC Asmo as using He/They pronouns, so their section uses both!

Lucifer

*This man is perfectly aware from the start of your chronic illness(es).

*But the name of a disease and actually seeing someone living with it are two very different things.

*if you need mobility aids, his first thought is how to implement ramps around the HOL and RAD within the next 24 hours.

*If you have an invisible illness ie: Fibromyalgia,Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Crohn’s, RA, ME/CFS ect; I really wouldn’t expect his behavior to change much.

*Honestly, even if you have a visible Illness or disability I don’t think his attitude would change.

*You were chosen for the exchange program, and as such, you are expected to complete your tasks by any means needed.

*At least, that’s how he thinks up until you have your first major flare.

*I’m talking about the kind of flare-ups that leave you bedridden and barely able to talk level of flare-up.

*This triggers Lucifer’s Big Brother Instincts.

*Especially if it happens after you’ve already been in the Devildom for a while.

*Why did you wait until you were in pain to say something?

*Imagine having to explain how flare-ups work to him.

*Explaining to him how the pain scale and Spoon Theory work probably rocked this old man’s world.

*As soon as he finishes checking on you, he’s going to put more research into your illness(es).

*As the Avatar of Pride, Lucifer obviously prides himself (haha) on knowing everything he possibly can about his family, and you’re no exception.

*He starts paying attention to possible triggers and makes a list of them all.

*He also pays attention to things that help control the pain.

*Does heat or cold ease the pain? What stretches do you like to do? What areas do you tend to have the most pain?

*If you take medication, Lucifer is on top of it. He always makes sure you have enough, and will call in any refills you need at the end of the month.

*If you take them multiple times a day, he has alarms set to remind him to text( or on less-busy days call) you to remind you to take them.

*He’ll never hound you though. Lucifer trusts that between himself and his brothers, you’ll get enough reminders that you’ll have taken them.

*Lucifer probably also sets reminders to remind you to switch activities if you use Pacing strategies.

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Mammon

*Oh my boy

*My sweet sweet summer child

*I think Mammon absolutely has the potential to be the best caretaker out of his brothers.

*He picks up on the fact that you have pain pretty quickly seeing as he spends so much time with you.

*The first time he sees you limp into the dining room, he immediately jumps to the conclusion that you had some “fun” the night before and is torn between congratulating you and freaking out over the fact that you got freaky.

*Wait, what do you mean you slept weird and now the nerve in your hip is spasming????

*Are humans seriously that fragile???

*WAIT WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU HAVE CHRONIC PAIN!?

*He absolutely freaks out and overreacts.

*Please take a few minutes to explain to him the major points of your illness(es) to him.

*If you thought Lucifer paid close attention to your flare triggers, he has nothing on Mammon.

*He’s your first, and that means he needs to be on top of anything that could potentially be harmful to you

*Or so he says

*The truth is, Mammon just hates seeing you in pain.

*If stretching or light exercise is helpful to you, he’ll do your stretches with you.

*If you respond well to heat, he goes out and buys an abundance of heating pads. You swear there’s one in every room now.

*Cold helps? Half the freezer is now full of those gel icepacks so you can always have as many as you need.

*His bathroom smells like lidocaine patches now because he bought one box of every type he could find.

*Massages? He’ll never admit it under the threat of death, but he begged Asmo to teach him how to best rub tension and soreness away.

*If you take medication, he’ll “casually” remind you to take them before you guys leave the HOL everyday.

*If you forget them often(like me), this man will bring your pills to the table with him and makes sure you have a few bites of food before handing them over to you.

*The first major flare-up with Mammon is the moment he realizes just how fragile his human is.

*You had told him earlier you could feel a flare-up starting.

*He put you through some stretches and iced/used heat, but you still weren’t feeling better.

*He watches as one second you’re trying to get comfortable and in the next your face pales before your rushing to the bathroom as your breakfast comes back up.

*He holds your hair back(if it’s long enough) and rubs your back until you're done, before cleaning you up and getting you back into bed.

*When you can’t move for almost an hour afterward, just completely wiped out from the pain, he realizes just how serious your illness(es) can be.

*If this is how bad it can be with medicine and preventative measures, how bad was it before you got diagnosed?

*The thought honestly breaks his heart.

*If you really want to hurt him though, tell him how much you wish you could just be “normal” and not have to deal with all the complications of your illness(es)

*After you’ve recovered, Mammon doubles down on making sure you do everything you need to to keep yourself healthy while also letting you feel as much of a sense of normalcy as possible

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Leviathan

*As much as I love this Otaku I don’t think he’d be the best caretaker.

*What he does excel at is being your cheerleader.

*You’ve gone two weeks without a flare? That’s awesome!

*You took your meds on time? Well totally incidentally, he just got a dupe of a super rare drop in Mononoke Land, so how about he sends it to you in celebration!

*You’re having a bad day? That’s ok! Even Henry has moments of weakness, so don’t beat yourself up!

*While he normally likes the feeling of his sin on others, he hates it whenever Envy leaks off of you, because it happens whenever you don’t feel well.

*Are you jealous of Beel’s strength?? He’s OP, even for a demon, MC!

*He spent almost 2 whole days looking up a list of characters from different animes and games that have the same illness(es) as you, and offers to watch/ play them all with you whilst fighting off a tomato-red blush. (It’s almost like a D-D-date!!!)

*He’s not the one to go to if you need to remember to take your meds, or to do exercise with, but he’s great to have a Quiet Day with.

*If you need to stay home from a flare, Levi will spend the day in your room, playing mobile games, or catching up on anime as a quiet reassuring presence.

*He also picks up the terminology pretty fast, which I feel is pretty expected considering he knows LEET speak.

*”Yeah, they don’t have a lot of spoons today.”

*Speaking of Spoon theory, I feel like he’d resonate with the whole concept of it pretty well. He probably picks it up the fastest of the brothers.

*Levi becomes your personal Spoon Counter.

*Tell him how many you have in the morning, and he’ll keep track for you, so you don’t have to worry about over-doing it.

*Another brother that keeps a heat pad or ice pack on hand for you.

*I can see him buying a special comfy chair just for you when you tell him that sitting in things like beanbag chairs can trigger tension.

*If you're someone that likes Floor Time, he’ll make sure you have a super soft blanket and a bunch of comfy pillows to lean on and support yourself with as needed.

*The first time you have a really bad flare he honestly doesn’t know what to do, at least until you start sobbing, unable to handle the added stress of being bed-bound for the near future on top of your responsibilities in the exchange program

*You always listen to him, so from now on whenever medical-burnout hits or you have a particularly horrible flare, Levi becomes your personal soundboard.

*He may even hold your hand if you crave physical comfort

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Satan

*Has the most medically-minded approach

*At least, for a little while.

*He's probably at least heard of your illness(es) before in passing, if not read about them somewhere.

*As much as he'd hate to hear it, like Lucifer he spends an afternoon or two doing as much research as he can

*Be prepared for him to want to try every single " coping strategy" he can find.

*What do you mean you already tried this when you were diagnosed?

*He wasn't there so it doesn't count.

*He'll also put research into things like herbs or potions that could help alleviate any symptoms.

*Why is he cooking with so much turmeric and ginger??

*No particular reason- though apparently they can help with inflammation, did you know that, MC?

*The first flare up you have, he's honestly kind of the worst

*Satan will want you to try out all of these different coping strategies he found online

*He'll push and push until eventually you snap.

*Whether you scream until you turn red, break down into hysteric tears, or turn completely numb, that's the point he realizes he was treating you more as an experiment than a person.

*Satan leaves you alone for the rest of the day.

*He'll go to one of his brothers, and finally just ask what works for you, and how to help without being overbearing while you don't feel well.

*After that, the next flare goes much more smoothly.

*Satan will come in and either offer you a book you had been interested in, or offer to read to you if you're not up to reading.

*He'd absolutely have an album full of cute cats he's found, and will go through it with you because let's be honest

*Cute cats can heal any hurts

*He's another one that will set alert reminders for your medication, and shoot you a text if he's not around.

*I also feel like if you have any "as-needed" meds(inhalers, nausea meds, OTC pain meds, anxiety reducers, migraine pills), he'd probably carry some around for you just in case you run out or forget them.

*Also reminds you to check if you need anything refilled so you don't run out.

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Asmodeus

*Everyone saw this coming, but Self.Care.Queen(gender neutral)

*Asmo knows just about every technique to help ease tight muscles

*And They are not afraid to use them on you

*He will lay you down on his fluffy bed and rub all of your troubles away(non-sexual)

*Asmo has about 50 different scented massage oils and will let you choose every single time

*Similar to Satan, If you're into it or interested, they’ll look into naturopathic remedies that could help with inflammation and pain

*If you use Epsom salt or CBD oil-based lotions, he'll beg Solomon to get some from the Human Realm for you.

*Asmo absolutely finds you the cutest pill organizers.

*Whatever your style is, they somehow find ones that match it!

*Afterall, If it's part of your daily routine, it should look cute- just like you!

*Plus, it takes away some of the clinicalness of the situation, which is a win-win!

*Don't worry if you have mobility aids- they get the same treatment!

*He found the cutest stickers being advertised on Devilgram the other day, and thought they'd look great against whatever color your aid is!

*So let's get decorating!

*If you're having a flare-up, Asmo will be at your beck and call!

*As long as you don't need anything heavy lifted, Darling.

*They'll draw as many baths or showers as you ask

*They'll massage you every hour if you request it.

*His brothers can worry about the medical aspects, Asmo's priority is getting you comfortable again as quickly as possible!

*He may not be the best at noticing your warning signs, but with enough time he'll start to learn how to pace all-day shopping trips into multiple dates.

*They end up liking this more anyway because it means more time for just the two of you!

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Beel

*My son

*My child 2.0

*Beel is absolutely the best at taking care of you!

*Your medication is either scentless, or very clearly smells unappetizing most likely, so Beel is never tempted to eat it.

*This turns him into the go-to for med management.

*If you're forgetful, Beel will hold onto your meds for the day, and drop them into your hands at the appropriate time along with a drink and a snack.

*I feel like Beel would also come up with names for your meds to try and take away some of the clinical aspect

*Pain meds are now known and “Ouch-byes”

*Nausea meds are called “No-pukes”

*Anxiety or mood stabilizers are “Sad-be-gones”

*He’s also the brother that sits with you while you refill your weekly pill boxes.

*It’s how to two of you came up with the names

*He also uses that time to make sure you restock any as-needed medications for the week. (I wish I had a Beel to do that for me…)

*Having a bad day?

*No need to walk, Beel is your personal chariot now.

*Another brother who does any stretching or exercise with you and Mammon every day.

*Imagine doing yoga with Beel and Mammon.

*Stunning.

*If Asmo or Mammon aren't available, he also gives great massages.

*His hands are always perfectly warm, and after a few minutes he always finds the perfect amount of pressure to ease and release your tensed muscles.

*He makes sure you have food handy on bad pain and flare days.

*Or if you're especially nauseous, he'll get you crackers or toast so you can at least try to get your meds down.

*Beel hates seeing you in pain, and is another brother that keeps a list of your triggers handy

*He can definitely go overboard though

*If stress is a trigger(which it often is with chronic pain diseases) he may develop a habit of guarding you a little too closely from other students or his brothers antics

*He'll try to pull you away from assignments the moment he thinks your getting stressed

*Definitely a brother you'll need to have a long conversation with regarding triggers and symptoms.

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Belphegor

*For all that I shit on Belphie for being a brat baby

*I think he’s another brother that would be pretty good at helping with some of the less-medical aspects of your care

*Obviously, he’d be a HUGE help at falling asleep or staying asleep at night.

*Just dont ask him to remember when you need to take your meds.

*Belphie can absolutely tell when you're getting close to triggering a flare-up and will force you to stop and take a break from whatever you're doing.

*Lucifer told you to do it?

*He’s already texting him and telling him you need a break, don’t worry and go lay down MC.

*While part of him genuinely just wants to keep you from being in pain

*I feel like another huge part of Belphie feels a lot of guilt whenever you have a flare.

*Seeing your pain contorted in pain not only reminds him of the Fall

*But also of what he did to you in the attic

*Everytime you wince and moan, he sees himself standing over your battered form again, just for a second.

*Or he’ll see one of his brothers, falling apart as they turned from beloved angels to demons

*The first major flare is horrible for him

*At first, because he’s been in the attic he doesn't know about all the aspects of your illness(es) and he thinks you’ve been cursed by someone

*He won’t believe his brothers if they tell him this happens to you sometimes

*He’ll only believe it once you tell him yourself, through teary eyes that this isn’t even the worst one you’ve had

*After that he’s the trigger-tracker supreme.

*It’s going to be significantly colder tomorrow, make sure you bring extra pain meds

*You’ve been sitting for three hours, time to stretch please.

*Like, he keeps track of your triggers almost better than you do

*He actually found one or two that you hadn’t been aware of.

*Also feel like he’d be shockingly good to take to Doctor's appointments??

*He’s also painfully blunt, and I think he’d tell your doctor if you were bullshitting about how much pain you’d been lately.

*If you're suffering medical burnout, he’ll make a nest for you both in the planetarium and steals every pillow he can find

*He’ll lay you down however you're most comfortable and just pet your head

*No words, no thoughts

*Just the two of you for as long as you need the quiet comfort of another person.

*If you fall asleep, he’ll make sure to adjust you to make sure you wake up comfortably

*He probably just ends up texting Beel and asking him to come get you into bed.

*He may be acting mature, but he’s still Baby.

#obey me #obey me imagines #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me headcanons #obey me swd

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